#keep the plot going while filling SEVEN prompts
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💈 barber!mickey & (not so) shaggy!ian💈
here's the 22nd installment for this week's @galladrabbles prompt: the 7 deadly sins by @thisdivorce
now, the 7 deadly sins are: lust, wrath, pride, envy, greed, gluttony & sloth... & i used them all 😈
catch up/read in full HERE -- updates weekly!
[ read scene one in its entirety ON AO3 ]
- - - -
Once the fucking lust clears, he hears her in full.
“Wait, he don’t pay you?” he asks, flushing red with wrath.
He takes this shit seriously, their business. Maybe it’s a pride thing, but they work hard for their bread. To build a craft and a client list one could envy.
“I know!” Tami complains. “Greedy ass Gallaghers, just take take take. Gluttonous. They’ll knock you up—”
Mickey knows that Tami’s throwing him clues, but his comprehension’s moving at a sloth-like pace, derailed by the latest drop in the bucket:
Gallagher.
Ian Gallagher.
Has a nice ring to it.
#i really wanted to drabble today#& where there's a will there's a way#THIS WAS SO FUN!#all 7 are accounted for & what a fun puzzle#keep the plot going while filling SEVEN prompts#eeyyyyyy#leigh i love you thanks for this#mickey baby you're so close!#barber!mickey my sweet#shaggy!ian my pet#shameless#galladrabbles#ian x mickey
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7SAITH'S INTEREST TRACKER & POST ( click on image 2 zoom )
This post serves as an interest tracker and curator's post for my blog. After observing an increase in negative content and other issues, I've decided to take a more proactive approach to maintain the blog's focus and protect my mental well-being. Soft-blocking individuals is solely a measure to protect my mental health and not intended to cause harm. I believe in giving people the benefit of the doubt, but recent events have prompted me to reassess my boundaries.
On a related note, I'm excited to announce some details about some significant lore changes concerning Lucifer. More information is coming soon. Here are key details to know.
hell is closer to earth than one might think due to pressures between the hellish and heavenly councils.
lucifer and his seven princes of hell reside on earth while keeping the door between the living and hell closed.
purgoe is the small town where lucifer resides by the water. mashing specific genres together to create a unique landscape. all residents are predicted sinners by the heavenly council. lucifer believes in redemption and is protective of these town folk
HOW TO INTERACT WITH THIS POST
you can like this post to note that you intend to write with me. ( i am very open to all types of threads and relationships. my goal is to write and plot with all my mutuals )
optional; fill out this little interest tracker. feel free to tell me what you'd like to see from me and lucifer in the openform section! all results go to my email. i place them in an excel sheet to keep track. if you'd like a copy just message me and i'll forward it to you.
LINK TO INTEREST TRACKER
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Will literally pay to roleplay with someone who can do a decent Draal impression (Status: CLOSED)
That title is not clickbait, it literally means what it says. I'm looking to roleplay with someone who can do an impression of the character Draal from the Trollhunters/Tales of Arcadia TV series and I'm willing to pay the volunteer $50 for it. Specifically, they'll get $25 immediately, and $25 at the RP's conclusion.
However, for your convenience, please allow me to clarify a few things up-front:
* This is NOT an NSFW or romance/shipping-based in general type of roleplay; that isn’t really my thing. I'm more the action-adventure with a dash of mystery and character-development kind of guy.
* While I do have a general plot in mind, it is completely subject to change depending on what the volunteer is comfortable with; in other words, I'm willing to work with you to take into account how you usually prefer to pace things or if you have your own headcanon details you'd like to include to make this an enjoyable experience to both participants.
* If worried about literation, well, not to brag, hehe, but I think you'll find I've got seven years worth of roleplay and storytelling experience, and my narrative abilities are second to none ^^
* I’ll reserve the right to cancel the roleplay and keep the remaining half of the money if I'm kept waiting for more than two weeks during RP turns/responses. I understand if you're busy or have other stuff going on, but please understand in turn that if you make me wait for days, days and more days on end just to get like a sentence…well, that’s just not very considerate :l
* I usually use Discord to RP, as I find it to be a quick and efficient means of communication while also having the perfect conditions for roleplaying when considering you can create servers and channels for organization. However, if the volunteer is more comfortable using a different format I'll gladly adapt accordingly :)
* I generally use PayPal, but if the volunteer uses a different payment method, that’s fine, all I humbly ask is that you walk me through it if I’m unfamiliar with it.
* Upon contact and if you do wish to roleplay, I’ll give you one or two questions, mainly, a prompt I’ll ask you to respond to; this will just be a little practice-scenario which will allow you to showcase your impression of what you would do in said-scenario as Draal. This will demonstrate to me that you understand the character and aren’t just rushing into this for the $50 without even having seen the show.
Rightio, with all that established and out of the way, if you’re interested in taking this offer, or, if you just have questions, feel free to contact me directly here on Tumblr or send me a message to my Discord ID, “Gallifrey21#1012”. If I do get a volunteer I’ll probably edit or delete this post to signify the position’s been filled.
Thank you so much for your time, have a fantastic rest of your day :)
~HSeeker
#trollhunters#draal#toa draal#draal the deadly#roleplay#rp#literate roleplay#toa#tales of arcadia#paying
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This is a version of SAGAU thats been in my head for a while so imma share + comes with alien!Celestia ideas
Basically Celestia came to Teyvat as wandering nomads trying to seek shelter and refuge from a great war that destroyed their homeworld. The Crsator of Teyvat, being so kind, accepted them into the world and gave them a floating land to call their own, only asking that they treat the resr of their creation kindly. However, soon those who destroyed the Celestials initial home come looking for them and they find them in Teyvat. The Creator manages to beat them away, but theyre left on the brink of death and Celestia is terrified. They love their friend who took them in and dont want them to be hurt, but theyre also too terrified to leave, knowing it would be the end for them if they do. In the end they concoct a plot and decide that so long as their Creator doesnt go to the battlefield themselves it would be fine, and with this way Celestia can bolster its own forces and fight off their enemy without the Creator coming to further harm.
They craft the Vision and Gnosis from the Creator's corpse and brainwash the mortals into believing that the Creator chose to enter Celestia and resided there from then on, and would only meet those who are able to climb the ranks and prove themselves worthy of Celestia. That is what prompts the utter brutality of the Archon War- the world's desperation to see their god again. Once the seven seats are filled, however, they learn the truth and become terrified of the gifted Gnosis and become enraged with Celestia. However, they cant fight them bc of Celestia's overwhelming power (for tho they were weaker than the Creator, theyre still far above the creatures of Teyvat) and instead distance themselves. Celestia themselves dont care too much, merely obsessed with keeping the world as close as to how the Creator left it while they schemed ways to bring the Creator back.
When you first awaken to Teyvat's skies with the face of the Creator, the people sing joy but the Archons are full of cold wrath, thinking its another ploy of Celestia. And why wouldnt they? Orobashi was slain to keep Celestia's secret. They wouldnt be surprised if this Imposter was Celestia's attempt to bring Teyvat even more under their thumb and the resentment burns.
It is whennthe Twilight Sword and a fair haured Traveler takes you to the land of no gods did you first feel relief and safety in a world so foreign, your mind unable to comprehend. But it is the last straw for Celestia and the Archons, the first of whom detested Khaneriah for diverging so much from the Creator's world, and the Archons who couldnt bear to see an Imposter be glorified as the Creator.
That is your first death in Teyvat, and with you came millions more as divine power smites Khaneriah to ruins.
The memory of your first few lives are vague and barely there, instead floating in your head like fantastical stories you dont recall the names of. But it doesnt matter, not when your eyes flicker to your latest obsession and you pass through a blinding white door. Celestia smiling ecstatically as they prepare the most perfect entrance for you... only to be disrupted by a set of fair haired other-worlders whose power rivals their own, and they wonder... if perhaps by taking one for the Creator to use, they can acclimatizd to Teyvat better and avoid the mesningless death thats ravaged them in the past.
The next time you enter Teyvat, responds with muted joy and sorrow, knowing their Creator is with them but saddened it is only through the eyes of a puppet that they are with them.
:O oh, I love this!!!!
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WIP Update - 8 Jun 2022
A rather concentrated writing week – I touched 3 fics (2 WIPs & 1 new work) for a total of 2352 words, nearly 1900 of which were on one fic. @psychiccatpanda and I posted the fourth chapter of our WinterIronHawk ‘accidental demon summoning’ collab fic. I also posted my first @steverogersbingo fill - a crossover ficlet with last Friday @flashfictionfridayofficial prompt.
I’m sitting at 10 active WIPs (with a couple of maybe TBCs) with my current deadlines being the Steve/Tony/Bucky bingo, which wraps up the end of this month, as well as my A Warm Light ‘zine fic. I did sign up for the @starkbucksbingo - which is open for signups thru 22 June and the @tonystarkbingo which is open for signups through the end of June. (Yes - I like collecting bingo cards!)
On the crafting side, I have two Stuffed With Character commission slots open for July at the moment - am pretty busy with requests & prepping for a con!
See below cut for the WIPs (arranged more or less by bingos/challenges/etc) I am working on - feel free to send me prompts or plot bunnies as well as asks regarding any of these projects (or any other WIPs I’ve got out there) – they really help feed the Muse and keep me motivated!
The Devil Is in the Details (Sign on the Dotted Line)
This is the WinterIronHawk ‘accidental demon summoning’ fic @psychiccatpanda and I had So Much Fun with! We ended up with seven chapters of Tony and Clint and Bucky shenanigans - kicking off with Ty as an Awful Boyfriend before bringing in a couple more members of the gang!
Chapter 4 posted last Friday and we’ve got 3 more coming - so stay tuned through the end of June!
WinterHawk Bingo - Round 3 [WHB_R3] (Runs thru 31 May 2022)
Sixteen fills completed - I got my Row 1 and Column I bingos and I was satisfied with that - I don’t usually do as well with pairing bingoes as I do with single characters. Link to Masterpost, if you’re interested.
Stucky Bingo - Round 3 [SB R3] (Runs thru 31 May 2022)
Thanks in large part to the Round Robin fics from the Discord bingo parties, I got a technical blackout plus with 27 fills (24 original squares and three adopted squares). Link to Masterpost, if you’re interested.
A Warm Light Zine - Due 1 July
I got accepted as a writer for A Warm Light Zine - dedicated to 2012 Avenger era Stony and coming hopefully sometime this autumn! I was assigned the 2012 canon-compliant category for a 2-5k fic. While I can’t share much about it here, I do want to at least keep track of my word count. I pushed hard on this over the last week and made good progress - currently sitting at 2288 words, with one big scene left to go. I am hitting several of the 2012 Avengers tropes along the way - hope it’s reasonably well-received.
Steve | Tony | Bucky Bingo Round 2 [STBB R2] (Runs thru 30 Jun 2022)
Ten fills, and two WIPs. Taking advantage of the One Fill, One Bingo opportunity, and might get a Column G bingo as well. Will have to lean hard into this now that I’ve made good progress on AWL.
* B4 - Working Out - this came from a Bucky Barnes Bingo server party: Binging Avengers Exercises - the team posts their workouts online and modern!Bucky spends entirely too much time watching the channel - especially Captain America and Iron Man.
* N2 - AU: Western - possible crossover with MWAPB Next Door Neighbors – I have a decent idea for this one (semi-inspired by a recent re-read of Laura Ingalls Wilder A Long Winter) and jotted down about 225 words’ worth of notes/VERY rough draft. Unfortunately, I won’t be able to combine this with the TSB, since it doesn’t start til July 1 - unless I go multi-chapter, which I am honestly trying to avoid 😐
* O4 - Lazy Sunday Morning - have a smutty WinterIron idea for this one; need to get it jotted down - will most likely cross over with my BBB KINK: Edging square.
Poked just a bit at my One Fill, One Bingo badge fic - combining B5 - “Aliens, again?”, I5 - Lifeguard, N5 - Barbeque, G5 - River Rafting, O5 - Wakanda. Avengers + Guardians in a partying mood = a huge headache for T’Challa. It’s currently sitting at 430 words.
Current Last Line: She gestured for him to follow him back inside. .
Avengers Bingo [AvB] (Runs thru 24 Dec)
Two fills posted and 0 WIPs - I decided to further challenge myself by pairing up each square with a unique combo of 2 original MCU Avengers! With the help of the STB Enthusiasts Discord folks - I’ve got all 16 squares planned out, at least in terms of who to write about, and half of them have some sort of idea or crossover square to go along with them. Feel free to toss other plot bunnies my way…
* A2 - On the Run - Natasha & Steve - crossover with MWAPB - Farmer’s Market? post CA:CW Wakanda ?
* A4 - Mutual Pining - Steve/Thor - crossover with MWAPB - Thor.
* A3 - Reunited - Clint & Natasha - Endgame Ronin scene?
* B1 - Death - possible crossover with MWAP Crying square – post Snap Bruce & Steve mourning?
* B3 - Road Trip - Bruce & Thor - Post Grandmaster, pre-Thanos space shenanigans
* C1 - Opposites Attract - Clint/Thor - there was a fun Tumblr headcanon going around about a Bumbling Foreigner whose ignorance of local customs results in him flirting with/proposing to the prince - this seems like a perfect matchup!
* C3 - Reincarnation AU - Natasha & Tony - post-Endgame
* C4 - Bodyguard AU - Thor/Tony - young!Tony - crush on Cap plays into attraction (obvious title - Thunderstruck) - holding on this til next round of TSB.
* D1 - Friends w/ Benefits - Clint/Steve - crossover with MWAPB Hawkeye/Clint Barton.
D2 - Romeo & Juliet AU - basic idea: Steve (jock) & Tony (geek) trying out for title roles in R&J - despite their respective friend groups thinking it’s a terrible idea. Both cliques end up becoming friends.
* D3 - Bed Sharing - Bruce/Natasha - AoU compliant.
Man With a Plan (Steve Rogers) Bingo [MWAPB] (Runs thru 31 Dec)
Four fills, 1 WIPs and several Vague Ideas/potential cross fills with other bingos. Prompts cheerfully accepted!
* B2 - Next Door Neighbors - see STBB AU: Western above
* B3 - Farmer’s Market - see AvB On the Run above
* B4 - Powerless AU - if Sunqueen and I decide to continue Wrong Number, Right Call , this would be a good fit.
* B5 - “I don’t really want to wake up just yet.” - this would probably be a good fit with Chapter 5 of Takin’ What They’re Givin’ (‘Cause I’m Workin’ for a Livin’)
* I1 - Steve is here for TFAtWS - this might go well with my BBB “Oh, hell no" square - Steve trolling Bucky & Sam by sending the old man in with his shield? (moodboard & ficlet?)
* I2 - Found Family - see STBB One Fill, One Bingo above.
* I3 - Thor - see AvB Mutual Pining above
* I5 - Dogsitting - possible crossover with BBB “Run” square - Steve & Bucky dogsitting for Lucky? (moodboard + ficlet)
* N1 - School AU/Teacher AU - if I decide to continue on with Technicalities (see Stucky Bingo College AU above) - I could fill this square :: ponders::
* N3 - Online shopping - this might be fun as a crossover with BBB Thighs …? (even tho lingerie is a “nah” for me) Steve and Tony buying a new wardrobe for Bucky that show off his ass-ets?
* G4 - Canon Divergence post CA:TWS - possible crossover with BBB Kill List Bucky wreaking havoc on Hydra bases and Steve & Sam catch up with him
* O1 - Crying - see AvB Death square above
* O2 - Sex Pollen - Teenage Groot pollen = aphrodisiac hi-jinks. Quill & Gamora warn the couple (stucky)/throuple (Stuckony) ahead of time, so no dub-con.
* O3 - Hawkeye/Clint Barton - see AvB - Friends w/ Benefits above.
Bucky Barnes Bingo - Round 4 [BBB_R4] (Runs thru 7 Jan 2023)
Seven fills and three WIPs - looks like I’m already in good shape to start with a Row 4 and/or Column K bingo!
* B3 - Sam Wilson|Falcon - this would be a good candidate for a continuation of After One Or Two False Starts
* U2 - AU: Roommate - see WHB Huddling for Warmth above
* U3 - Steve Rogers - slating for Chapter 5 of Never More to Go Astray (Stuckony Star Wars AU) Looks like this will be at least 6 chapters to get through two rounds of POVs. Huge thanks to RudeArrow, who is doing an AMAZING job of brainstorming and beta’ing with me!! Chapter 5 (Bucky POV) is in first draft form sitting at 1066 words.
Current Last Line: “Shards,” Djems cursed under his breath.
* U4 - AU: Arranged Marriage - will probably pick Lady Natasha’s Consort and Lord Steve’s Companion back up for this one.
* U5 - Kill List - see MWAP - G4 - Canon Divergence. Post CA:TWS above
* C2 - “Oh, hell no” - possible crossover with MWAP I1 - Steve is here for TFaWS
* C4 - KINK: Aftercare - probably holding onto this until the TSB bingo 😁
* K1 - Thighs - possible crossover with MWAP: N3 - Online Shopping.
* K2 - Comics - sew the Stuffed Marvel Classic Comics Bucky Barnes I drew up last month.
* K3 - KINK: Edging - see STB Lazy Sunday Morning above.
* Y1 - “Do you trust me?” - Using this for Chapter 5 of Takin’ What They’re Givin’ (‘Cause I’m Workin’ for a Livin’) - Mission Four: Pour Some Sugar: Part 2. Chapter 5 picks up mid-sexytimes with Steve and Bucky and is currently sitting at 705 words.
Current Last Line: “Breathe for me, sweetheart.”
* Y2 - Never the fall that kills you - this might be the title for the remix I want to do of Seeds of Love (by the super-talented @hddnone) Holding off on this til I get my TSB card, as I wanted to carry over my Secret Admirer square for this as well.
* Y3 - “Run” - see MWAP I5 - Dogsitting above.
* ADOPTED1 - Peggy Carter - possible crossover with with MWAP - G3 - USO Tour (Peggy regaling Bucky with stories of Steve’s exploits while touring the US) or N4 - Soulmates (WW3some shenanigans!)
Steve Rogers Bingo - Round 2 (SGRB_R2) - Ends 31 Jan
Got my card on the first and already have one fill! Still looking at crossover possibilities and I did request 3 square swaps, so not a whole lot sketched out yet.
* B5 - 2012!Steve - Combined this with last week’s Flash Fiction Friday prompt [#FFF155 Out of Containment] for Not the Right Date - a Steve POV retelling of the last scene of CA:TFA. It came in at 378 words and got posted to Ao3 this morning.
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On other creative fronts: I have a Buster and Creature from the Haunted Sea, in progress with Argoman, Una/Number One and Snoopy and Woodstock in the works I currently have 2 July slots available. Am also gearing up for a classic monster/horror con in October and a superhero con in March - so need to build up stock for both.
if you’re looking for one of a kind gifts (for a friend or something for yourself!) you can plan ahead for the next holiday season and check out Stuffed With Character over on Facebook for a full list of my designs (now over 80!). They’re mostly Marvel and monsters, but I have some Star Wars, Star Trek, DC and Disney figures as well. Plus I love to take custom design requests for any fandom!
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Questions about outlines: How detailed are they? Are they the same level of detail or do they vary? How do you make your outlines? Chronologically scene by scene? Or do you come up with the scenes that call you and then come up with smaller filler scenes to fill in the gaps? Do you have outlines for each chapter? Or just for the larger general plot points? Do you try to complete the outlying before starting the fic? Or do you add to the outline as you go? Sorry if this is to many at once
lmao okay i got several asks about outlines but i’m just going to answer this one because it’s ~comprehensive~
every writing teacher i’ve ever had has hated my outlines. my friends find them incomprehensible.
if people are going to look at my answers as ways to do their own outlines, i have to say: that’s probably not a good idea
i don’t write outlines a majority of the time
i don’t write outlines to plan a story i’ve already decided to write
i write outlines primarily as a way to exorcise story ideas that i want to write but don’t want to actually commit to writing (answer prompts are another way i do this lol)
now, some things do get outlines as a way to plan and organize. survival is a talent has an outline because it’s 400k and spans six years. child king had an outline. needy’s body had an outline.
b u t
i’m currently writing rotten work without an outline
lynchpin didn’t have an outline
hope is the thing with feathers didn’t have an outline
never grow a wishbone only had an outline for the first couple of chapters
an invincible summer didn’t get an outline until like. chapter 4 of 6.
i just. uh. think about what i want to happen and then hope i remember to write it down. even when i do an outline, i’ll deviate from it wildly, and not update it to reflect that, because i know what i’m doing (ha!)
so! with that in mind, let’s go!
How detailed are they? Are they the same level of detail or do they vary?
they vary! but honestly - not very. sometimes i’ll write out a paragraph or bits of dialogue that are important to me, but most of the time it’s just broad strokes of what i want to happen, or a mechanism of how something complicated happens. like i have several paragraphs in my siat outline dealing with necromancy books, but like. two sentences on how they actually occur in the story because that’s just something i’m trusting myself to figure out when i sit down to write it.
How do you make your outlines? Chronologically scene by scene? Or do you come up with the scenes that call you and then come up with smaller filler scenes to fill in the gaps?
I try to put them chronologically, although sometimes that’s a little hard (in siat i have several scenes that i know will happen, i just don’t know when). that is something i will go back and edit on my outlines, is if i’ve changed the order the something happens i’ll go back and copy and paste until my outlines is in the right order. but only if the outlines is something i’m actually using to write and the story is longer than a couple of chapters.
because my outlines are so very not detailed, i just write down what it is that i want to write, like the reason i’m going to write this or want to write this, and figure out the rest later. i’ll fill it in later - or i won’t! because most of the time i don’t use my outline to actually write the story, and i use it more as an idea list, so if i don’t know what happens between scenes or i find it boring i just won’t write it down
like, for example, here is my “outline” for won’t even plant a garden in it’s entirety
weep as a woman
“you weep as a woman weeps.” “and how is that?” “as if the future rests on your hips, and you must walk it forward.”
crowley and eve were friends. cain killed abel with the flaming sword, and crowley begged them to say it was with a rock instead
crowley was raphael the painter and fucked michelangelo
crowley was there the night yeshua was born, was friends with mary, helped raise yeshua?
ghosts
crowley and anathema and joan of arc
i ended up dropping most of this and crowley ended up sleeping with both eve and yeshua as the major plot points. i don’t explain stuff, really. i know what i mean so i just don’t bother to get very detailed most of the time.
Do you have outlines for each chapter? Or just for the larger general plot points?
siat i divide up by year, and i think i did it by chapter for the last two chapters of build your wings on the way down, but otherwise it’s just one long list. i do my chapters based on words counts rather than content, so outlining by chapter doesn’t really make sense for me (siat is always around 15k a chapter, and everything else i do these days thats multi chapter is around 8k because that’s the best, but ngawb was 5k a chapter and i think for child king it was around 11k a chapter)
Do you try to complete the outlying before starting the fic? Or do you add to the outline as you go?
I’m constantly adding as a i go! my outlines are never really “complete” they’re just abandoned. i write down what i think will help me and tend to ignore the rest. sometimes i just. talking to myself in my outlines when i’m trying to think something through.
my outline for child king is under the cut because that’s one that’s a good mix of stuff i kept and stuff i threw out. DON’T JUDGE ME!! bad ideas don’t get written because they’re bad!! it’s part of the ~process~
child king
Summary: “A child king is still a king,” Deaton says softly. “A child king is still a child,” he snaps, but he knows this is an argument he’s already lost. – Stiles is a born alpha, and after the Hale fire, things get real complicated, real fast.
Stiles’s mom is the last remaining human from a pack that was destroyed by hunters. John is the one that helps her after, so he knows everything. When they move to beacon hills she doesn’t feel the need to say anything to the hale pack, because as far as they’re concerned she’s just a human, and she doesn’t want to get involved in pack business. But then stiles is born with red eyes. The doctor is quiet and scared john and Claudia freak out, but it’s because he’s a werewolf, which is a relief to parents because they thought something was wrong with their kid. Maybe they don’t know he’s an alpha, only that he’s a wolf? Or they know and they keep it a secret on purpose
Claudia is the one to approach mrs. Hale. She tells her that her son is a born werewolf, but that she’s not interested in joining their pack. Her husband is a new deputy and they just bought a house but they’ll move if they have to. “he’ll need a pack one day. It’s safer,” she says. “if he wants to join you one day, I won’t stop him. But that’s not a choice I’m willing to make for him.” Mrs hale agrees that they can say separate as in exchange for the sheriff smoothing over some ruffled feathers no and again. They agree. Claudia to sheriff “we’re going to have to move one day. Our son is an alpha, and he’ll need to make his own pack.”
Stiles is seven the first time he snarls at his mom, eyes flashing red, and she freezes. She’s got the pack instinct, it doesn’t matter that hes her kid, hes still her alpha, so its hella awkward. John can see how this will quickly spiral out of control if they can discipline their own kid. But stiles is the one to back down first, apologizing and doing as he’s told. There are careful power structures here, and this is the beginning of differentiating between stiles the human and stiles the wolf.
When his mom gets sick, stiles offers to turn her. Hale offers to turn her. She refused for Reasons that I have to figure out. Maybe the politics of it? Wanting to protect stiles and not wanting to become part of the hale pack
The fire happens. John ships stiles the hell out of dodge, because there are hunters about. He snoops around enough to figure out it was kate argent, but theres not really anything he can do about it
Scott knows about everything, and tries to tell his mom in a really akward way that they should trust stiles if they’re ever in danger, but she just laughs it off. Except when someone breaks in and threatens her with a gun, and she manages to make a phone call, it’s not 911, not john, but stiles, and she doesn’t even know why, regrets it as soon as it happens. But then stiles shows up and breaks both of the guys, eyes glowing red, and then calls his dad and scott to take care of it, because they’re humans, so they get human punishments. Melissa is told everything.
Scott has a bad asthma attack and, and Melissa asks about the bite. Scott is itching for it. He wants it so badly. Stiles has already promised to turn them when they turn 18, and Melissa knows that. She asks if theres a reason to wait, and the answer is nah, not really. So he gets the bite. Stiles being like uh psa punishments cant include scott staying away
After hale fire and stiles gets back, he’s shocked that hey just left, and that they left peter behind. He starts visiting peter several times a week. He tells his dad that they should pay for his medical care. They have a fuckton of money because his mom inherited all the pack wealth, and john doesn’t touch it because that’s stiles’s money, that’s werewolf money. But this is a werewolf thing, so he agrees. “his pack left him dad.”
Stiles bites Erica when they’re 14. Some point in middle school stiles wises up to the Isaac thing and tells his dad he needs to arrest his dad, or stiles is going to kill him, and he’s not even a little bit joking. Stiles hears Isaac crying while going by the house? In johns squad car. Makes them pull over, then bursts into the house. John goes with it because his son’s eyes are red.
Some point after the hales leave, things start trying to move into hale territory. Some wolves? Stiles smells them, and ends up at 10 years old telling them to fuck off. This how scott finds out? He’s with scott and his dad. Deaton is facing off against something? Panics when stiles intervenes, but stiles goes wolfy and red eyes and is like. This is mine now fuck off. Looks at the hale house, and finally says, we have to take care of this. We have to. But they don’t own the house or the land or any of it. They do … something
Stiles ends up having to deal with a lot of crap real young
Stiles has scott and Isaac when peter wakes up. Stiles is there, and peter isn’t crazy because he wasn’t abandoned to die alone. Stiles says he can stay, or he can go, not trying to pressure anything. Peter chooses to become part of stiles’s pack, because his family is either dead or abandoned him. Peter ends up moving in with them as he finishes healing and to get used to being in a pack and with stiles. It’s very strange for john, but it’s a werewolf thing and he’s trying to be supportive. After a couple months, stiles tells his dad that having peter is a relief, that there’s finally someone who knows things, someone older who can support him as a werewolf. Peter acts as his second, and he finally has some degree of authority that age has lost him. Stiles has peter take care of the hale house. Peter and stiles have the conversation, where peter is like the hale land is your land now. You’re the alpha of beacon hills. He does what stiles directs him to.
Isaac is living with scott under stiles’s direction ish. But lots of Melissa. Isaac like I don’t wantto be afraid anymore, I don’t want to hurt anymore, and stiles is like. Okay. We’ll fix this. But he doesn’t bite Isaac until he goes to a shitton of therapy and has mostly sorted himself out. For isaac’s fifteenth birthday, he bites him.
Erica is spur of the moment, it’s something that all instinct and very little thought. OR they’re dating and it happesn? Erica’s parents suck. Stiles doesn’t want the balancing act of being boyfriend and alpha.
Jackson is so fucking desperate to belong to something. He nags and nags and nags and finally stiles bites him at least half to shut him up.
“dad can I talk to you about something weird and uncomfortable and a little creepy” talks about crush on Lydia, and how he’s not sure if its because he has a crush on her or if it’s bc he thinks she’ll be good for the pack. Lydia joins before Jackson, and she’s the one that pushes stiles into it. Lydia and stiles are not dating, but she’s clearly high in the hiarchey.
Boyd? Just like. Shows up. Idk.
So by the time laura and derek show up, stiles’s pack is: john, Melissa, peter, Lydia, Jackson, danny, Isaac, boyd, Erica, deaton (who’s acting as emissary but is training danny). Maybe bring in some later characters, like malia and kira and cora. Ooooh maybe the twins show up before they became alphas, still run aways and looking for something else? Stiles takes them on. Stiles finds malia early on after the fire
Peter is willing to forgive derek but he has a lot of shit with laura. Stiles agrees to let laura and derek stay and not be part of his pack, although laura insists she doesn’t need his permission. She snaps at peter to come home with them, and he looks at her like she’s insane. He says there’s no hale pack, and if there was, he’s not interested. He’s a stillinkski wolf now. Cora too maybe? Double blow. Peter owns the hale land, and he makes it clear the day stiles turns 18 he’ll be signing it over to him. Stiles is known by the surrounding packs.
Stiles has to somehow defend the surrounding area, has to make it clear he’s his and that he’s not willing to give it up. It’s valuable land. People are going to come looking for it once people figure out it’s abandoned. When deaton finds out stiles is an alpha, he goes around as an emissary to the surrounding packs. Saying that its under stiles now. He’s known to them so it goes mostly uncontested. This is when he and the sheriff have the child king conversation.
Stiles tries really, really hard to be a good alpha. That means controlling the territory, and working with other packs when members go rouge or something goes wrong. He’s thirteen the first time he goes to lend a hand in a fight, and it’s young, it’s too young, but he’s an alpha. He has to do this, to maintain the peace. And the thing is – stiles is good at this, good at not pushing, at not using his status as a crutch or an excuse, instead as a tool.
Maybe this is why no one cares for laura’s excuses. As much as laura wasn’t ready to take on the responsibility, she was an adult, if only barely. Stiles is a literal child, and in her absence shouldered it all. So even if she does technically have a claim, none of them are willing to honor it. “if you kill alpha stiles, you won’t have allies, you’ll have enemies.”
Allison and argents. Stiles brings his pack to kill kate. Gives peter the chance to do it himself, and is so very proud when he says no. but instead of letting her go free, stiles crushes her throat. “revenge would have been trapping you all in here and setting the whole thing on fire. Justice would have been making you watch as she burned alive. This was mercy, and don’t you forget it.” Scott is hella in love with Allison, but he knows this comes first. Her mom is full of hatred, but stiles more than makes it clear that he has no problem with killing her too.
Stiles sees derek soon after. They’ve already gone back and forth a lot. But he and laura weren’t there. Stiles tells him what he did. They have a ~moment~
Derek wants so very much to join stiles’s pack, but he doesn’t want to lose laura.
Something finally convinces laura to take the plunge and the stillinksi pack is one happy family
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Episodic
My sister and I had a long talk about how we both suffer from dissociation earlier today cause of an ask I got. And I got inspired to write a lil smth. This is based off of my experiences for the most part so anywayss.
tags: gn!doctor!reader + Kaeya, feat Diluc + Venti, dissociation, Kaeya story spoilers, Diluc story spoilers, mental health in general.
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Lies, so many lies, that’s all he was made up of! A liar, a cheat, a fraud, a dirty traitor. Years ago, well into his teens, he wouldn’t have cared. He didn’t give a damn whether or not the nation burned to the ground, he didn’t care if Teyvat as they knew it was ripped away from them and destroyed. But he was older now, and he cared so much. Oh too much. Torn between loyalties, his royal family who abandoned him to help them or the nation that loved and raised him. The lies stacked up, the nightly duties, the work within the shadows, the information he gave to his informants.
The lies were bearing down on him, he was being crushed, lungs screaming for air. It was almost like he was drowning except the ice above his head stopped him from surfacing for air. Kaeya Alberich could swim but he was not strong enough to shatter inches of thick ice. Every drop of water that filled his lungs, every lie that he needed to keep track of, they all froze over eventually. He was heavy, his body felt heavy, his shoulders hurt, and taking in air was a chore. He wished he’d just drown, but he kept scrambling, slamming against the ice, would anybody come-
“Are you even listening?” Diluc sighed, setting the glass down on the bar counter loud enough it shattered Kaeya’s thoughts and he lifted his head from his hand, star pupil blown as he looked around quickly. Diluc raised an eyebrow at the reaction, not expecting it from the ever composed cavalry captain he once called brother. The bar was relatively empty, Venti was asleep at a table tucked in the back. You were leaning against the wall while you did some work at the bar. Kaeya’s breathing was shaky, he realised as he tried to intake air, fill his lungs, stuff down the suffocation.
“Kaeya?” You set your quill down, concern quickly taking over your features. Diluc grabbed the glass Kaeya had been drinking from, opting to dump whatever remained. Kaeya didn’t even react to Diluc’s actions, instead he opted to look at his hands, opening and closing them, he did the action with his palms up and then repeated while looking at the back of his hands. Being a doctor for the knights, dissociation wasn’t the hardest thing for you to recognise. Approaching the situation, however, that was what became difficult.
“I don’t know how much longer I can endure this.” Kaeya’s voice was so weak, like he was testing out a tongue that didn’t belong to him. You stood immediately, Kaeya turning to you in surprise from the sudden action. You held your hands out and Kaeya looked at your waiting hands, he blinked and then looked up to you where he received a quick nod in return, a reassuring smile on your face. Kaeya put his hands into your own, his hands were surprisingly warm even through your gloves, slender fingers curling to intertwine with yours.
You gave his hands a gentle squeeze, he could feel two different sets of eyes staring at him outside of you directly in front of him. The weight of the world was so heavy and he felt himself slipping beneath the current again, it was relentless, endless, it dragged him down, the frozen lake was so dark- “Describe how my hands feel, please. What do my gloves feel like? Temperature?” You did your best to keep your voice reassuring, exceptionally kind as you crouched slightly so you could be at eye height with Kaeya who continued to sit.
The words dragged him to the surface and he struggled to remember who he was beyond all of these damn lies. There were so many lies, so much to hide, so many ties and loyalties oh how they swirled in his head. But he had to focus on the feelings of the gloves, thankful his seemed to be fingerless. “Cotton, your gloves feel like cotton.” He got a reassuring squeeze, an affirmative. Diluc snuck out from the bar, heading to the tavern door to lock it, sure an hour early, but given the circumstances.
“Okay, anything else?”
“Cold.”
“Haha, very good. Do you know your name?”
“Kaeya Ragnvindr. No, wait..” He trailed off, eyebrow furrowing. “I changed it, Alberich.” You quickly nodded, prompting him to continue. “You smell like mint and I smell like wine. Or is that the redhead? I’m not sure.”
“Both, probably.” Diluc responded casually, as if his heart didn’t just shatter hearing Kaeya say his old last name as his own once more. How long had it been since Diluc tore that family name from the navy haired captain? Diluc got closer, standing behind you, enough distance from Kaeya not to overwhelm him, but close enough he could watch.
The water still lapped at his legs, threatening, stabbing into him and trying to drag him back in. But he clawed at the sand, finding hold in the frost covered shore. “Are you back with us then, Kaeya? If not, you could try describing one of us.” You squeezed his hands again and Kaeya slowly nodded, his brain fog was lifting at least, he wasn’t entirely focused on the frozen lake anymore. When had he broken through the ice?
“Whoa, sorry- What happened there?” Kaeya pulled his hands back suddenly, gripping his head in one hand and shaking it with his signature laugh. Diluc had been frowning the entire time, and your reassuring smile vanished in an instant at his new words. “What? Don’t look at me like that, it’s embarrassing.” Kaeya smiled, turning his head to survey the rest of the empty tavern.
“You were having a dissociative episode. I’d offer a mora for your thoughts but it doesn’t take a genius to figure out why.” You stood straight again and Kaeya wished you weren’t on his blind side, that way he’d be able to see without turning towards you, instead the cavalry captain eyed the sleeping Venti in the corner. “I’m not going to ask you to talk to me, but at least talk to Diluc about what’s on your mind if nobody else. It will only get worse from here.” You moved by the redhead who made no objections, and you began to gather the paperwork you had been working on.
“I promise, I’m fine. You’re worrying over nothing. And you, Diluc. I didn’t expect such concern.”
“We grew up together. Of course I’m concerned. You’re one of the few competent knights, and they need you to be on your best.” Diluc had his arms crossed over his chest, but he genuinely was trying not to seem so malicious, despite the biting words of his former brother. “How often has this been happening?” Diluc inquired, waiting for Kaeya to actually look back at them, but he never did, calloused fingers gently tapping the wooden bar countertop instead. “Okay, when did it start, then?” Diluc switched questions with a nod from you.
“A few months ago. They only lasted a minute or two, and I’d barely remember what happened. Recently the times I’ve blanked have been longer. I don’t remember what happened since coming in here.” Kaeya’s voice was quiet, low, ashamed maybe. He was so tired of it all, the lies and the burdens. He didn’t want to be a plot point or a chess piece. He just wanted to live his life, free of the whispering secrets of the dark.
“That was seven hours ago. [Name], is that normal?”
“Quite. Some dissociative episodes have been known to last years. The hours will turn to days, days into weeks. You know how it goes. I’ll bring Venti home so you two can speak.” You pulled your bag over your shoulder, heading off to grab the drunk bard from the corner. “Come on, bard. You can stay at my house.” You lifted the man easily, letting Diluc silently unlock and open the tavern door for you. The door was shut and locked once more.
“You don’t have to pretend to care, Diluc. I’m fine.” Kaeya pushed his barstool back, standing to his full height. He was exhausted, his brain fog may have been gone but his body still didn’t feel real and every step he took felt like walking on pins and needles. It didn’t help when Diluc blocked the door though, the usual bored expression replaced with something else.
“I do care, idiot. Whether or not you believe that isn’t my problem. You’re still my brother, even if we never shared any blood. Now you’re going to sit down and we’re going to talk about what happened that night, do you hear me?” Diluc lowered his arms, gaze dropping to anywhere but the captain. “Please, just talk to me. I won’t push you away this time.”
“Do you promise?”
“Obviously.”
#Kaeya x reader#not really but you're familiar with him#Genshin Impact#Genshin x reader#Kaeya#kaeya -handshake emoji- lane suffering from Stress#i've been depressed okay don't @ me for the sad posting#LET THEM BE BROTHERS AGAIN MIHOYO#Lane Writes#s/o to the person who sent the ask I will get to it
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Title: Years Past
Summary: Sakura haunts their small home in grief, feeling already a ghost even while surrounded with beautiful raven-haired children and grandchildren and great-grandchildren. As she sees each and every one of them over the months that follow, a select few stare back with her own eyes. Most of them are so like her husband's, though, luciform soot flecked with silver, and she feels so sorry when she looks too long and starts to cry. Romance, Character Death, Sad With a Happy Ending, Sakura POV.
Disclaimer: I did not write Naruto. This is a fan-made piece solely created for entertainment purposes.
Rating: T
A/N: A little late to this prompt, but better late than never, I suppose. This has been sitting in my drafts since June, but reading it made me emotional and I got distracted by writing things for Like Gold. I apologize for the tardiness!
Sasusaku Month 2021, Day 7 Prompt: Years Past @ssskmonth
AO3 Link - FF.net Link
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Sakura passes in her sleep, marcid and weary of a broken heart and missing mismatched eyes, at the age of eighty-two.
It is longer than most Shinobi make it by far, but she doesn't feel very grateful for it, in the last five excruciating months of her life.
Her husband hadn't made it to eighty-two; Sasuke-kun passed in December. It had been peaceful, all three of their children, most of their grandchildren, and even some great grandchildren, the ones not on missions outside of the village, at his bedside.
Sakura had been there, too, old and frail and holding his hand. She'd kissed him goodbye tearily, sensing it was almost time after decades of watching it happen to others inside secluded hospital walls. It had been in front of nearly all of their descendants, family the only thing helping to hold her together in his final moments.
He hadn't complained. He'd kissed her back, for everyone to see, and Sarada and the twins had started crying, then, squeezing their hands around those of their parents, because they knew it really was time.
He had thanked her, said her name one last time, all equanimity even then. Then, so softly, "I love you. I'll see you next time," before he went, bones settling wearily at long last.
There had been melancholy in his expression even in death, wrinkled skin turning glaucous and beginning to sag against old, hardened muscle.
Sasuke-kun was buried next to Itachi’s memorial. There is a plot he saved for her on his other side, his right arm, the hand she held so many times in life.
Sakura haunts their small home in grief, feeling already a ghost even while surrounded with beautiful raven-haired children and grandchildren and great-grandchildren. As she sees each and every one of them over the months that follow, a select few stare back with her own eyes. Most of them are so like her husband's, though, luciform soot flecked with silver, and she feels so sorry when she looks too long and starts to cry. Little Satoko, their newest great-grandchild all of eleven months old who she dotes on endlessly, reaches at her wrinkled cheeks to try to wipe them dry, babbling out a garbled version of "Oobasan, no cwy." He is talking earlier than most babies, stormy eyes eerily full of awareness and an endless lineage, just like Sarada at that age. Sakura laughs as she sobs, cradling him close to her heart, and looking out her window at their daughter's visage on the mountain. It is also Satoko's grandmother's image; it is hard to believe their sweet little baby is now old enough to be a grandmother. She remembers the first time Sarada had smiled at Sasuke-kun, the first time he held her at only an hour old, and he broke down sobbing.
She makes the trek to Sasuke-kun's grave every day for 138 days, each step an arduous agony, before stooping down to lay a fresh daffodil atop the soil where her husband's bones rest. She has also planted white lilies around his headstone, the same as those that surround Itachi's and the Uchiha Memorial Stone. Her children help her keep them watered as needed through a short spring drought; she is too old to carry a watering can now without spilling.
She misses him. It hurts worse than Sasori's poison or Madara stabbing her or giving birth or a giant shuriken nearly cleaving her in two.
There is joy to be found in the desolation, too, in her last few months of life. Their progenies throw her a birthday party like none other, and she eats her fill of cake while watching little hands eat some, too. Little Satoko dances, or moreso balters, with Sarada in time to a dramatic song he finds by pressing buttons on the radio; it is not a very appropriate tune for a dance with a toddler, all clumsy crescendo and orchestra, but amusing all the same. Sasuke-kun would have smiled, if he were there.
The white lilies bloom before her eyes one last time, resplendent and perfect. She gets to hear about Haruki making Chunin on the first try, every bit the pride of the Uchiha, reborn anew with Sharingan blazing. She even gets to see Akiko make Jonin in person, ambitious and ingenious with Sharingan and diamond seal on her forehead setting her apart from her adversaries in the arena.
But finally, at long last, it is her culminating day. 138 days doesn't seem like a long time to be without him, compared to the larger number of days he was absent in their youth, but she finds it is worse, following their life together.
She tells them all she loves them and falls asleep for the last time, watches their confluence of family say goodbye from above. Sarada and the twins cry the hardest, clinging to her body as her heart finally pumps for the last time. Satoko is too young to understand, but he pats at her, too, in a sea of dark-haired descendants that she knows will continue to bring honor back to a clan revived at the brink of death. She takes in each and every one of their beautiful faces one last time, faces so similar to Sasuke-kun's; not a single one of them has her nose.
It is a legacy of love they have created, exactly the dream they started willing into color the day they discovered they had made Sarada together.
Then, she is on a dock that has slightly singed edges, looking over a small, familiar pond.
It is a spring evening, the sun just falling beneath the horizon and cherry blossoms abloom, and she thinks that is strange, because it is June and Hanami has already passed them by. Satoko had been so cute in his new outfit; she had made it herself, not much else to do in their empty house filled with aching memories. The tiny uchiwa on the back of his collar was sewn with the utmost care, the kind that came from decades of practice.
Crickets chirp, cicadas buzz, and there are a few fireflies leaking out of the greenery, soft light reflectant in the stillness of the water. It is serene. She had sat on this dock many times with her husband, when he was alive, on his right side so she could hold his hand. He told her she was beautiful during Hanami here, every year. She shifts to begin the process of sitting down, planning on leaving the space he'd taken up in life empty for him, in case his ghost is around. She has felt it, sometimes, tugging at her own spirit; she leaves his side of the bed empty every night, trying to will him back to her.
As Sakura shifts, she looks down, and she is startled to see pink hair instead of white, and no wrinkles. She crouches to analyze herself more closely in water still as glass, and there are no creaking old bones. She is young again, somehow.
She is overjoyed; she will be able to water the white lilies herself again. She can even dance with little Satoko now.
Light footsteps sound behind her, and just as she stands and turns, she is being swept into an unfamiliar yet comforting pair of arms. A woman with long inky hair, black as night, is hugging her tight.
"Thank you for loving my son," she breathes immediately, and Sakura starts crying, because she somehow knew who it was before she even said anything, without even seeing her face. When her eyes focus blearily through tears over Mikoto Uchiha's shoulder, Sasuke-kun's brother is walking up not far behind her.
Itachi Uchiha is smiling at her like she's done something wonderful, like he has been waiting for years to meet her. He is younger, healthier here, flecks of silver dancing in eyes just like her husband's, just like their childrens'. There's an impossible ache in her chest.
He waits patiently for his mother to pull back. When she finally does, Sakura looks into her eyes, and Mikoto is smiling at her so big, like she hung the moon in the sky, beginning to peek out from behind clouds above them.
"I have waited so long to meet you," she says, eyes shining, and her eyes are like Sasuke-kun's, too. "You are so beautiful."
Then Itachi is embracing her, and Sakura cries harder, because his arms feel almost like Sasuke-kun's arm had felt, slipping around her for sixty-one years of marriage, the same height and strong.
"I have waited, too. It's an honor. Thank you, for everything," Itachi says as she sobs.
"They are so beautiful, too, Sakura," Mikoto adds softly, hand at her shoulder, and she knows she means their children, Mikoto's grandchildren that she hasn't gotten to hold yet, Sarada and the twins and their children and all the others. Little Satoko had made twenty-seven blood relatives; including spouses who married into the clan, the number was thirty-eight, and there were two more babies on the way, yet.
Itachi lets her go, smile tender when he pulls away. He directs his gaze momentarily to the path leading up the hill, as if he's looking for someone.
She follows his gaze; Fugaku Uchiha is coming over the top, all stoicism even as a spirit. He stops momentarily and gives her a nod of recognition, not breaking eye contact for a long time.
Then, he glances back over his shoulder, tilts his head as if telling someone to follow him down the hill, and Sakura is running, though she hasn't been able to for years.
Sasuke-kun is all of twenty again, young and strong, too handsome for his own good and every bit the sweet but stoic man she fell in love and grew old with. He's smiling at her, just for her, and she's in his arms - he has both, here - in the blink of mismatched, teary eyes.
His arms feel like home, two spirits together in permanence at long last. It is the same feeling as the little piece of heaven they touched together whenever they made love, souls intertwining, but this time for good. She has missed him. Oh, she has missed him.
"...I told you I'd see you next time," he murmurs against her hair.
#this doesn't feel quite as polished as my other stuff tbh but i still like it#feels more raw emotion#ssm21#ssm21d7#sasusaku#naruto#ssfanfiction#cherry writes
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Neva's Master Fic List
I guess it's about time I made one of these, so... here goes, a list of most of my fics beneath the cut because this is gonna be pretty long!
WIPs
One Bedroom Away, rated E
Katara doesn't have time for a relationship.
Zuko doesn't want one.
Katara hasn't been with anyone since her last relationship ended.
Zuko is with a new girl every night.
They happen to be roommates who don't exactly get along, but what happens when they realize that it's more convenient to use each other instead of putting the time in to a relationship or finding a new hook-up every night?
Nothing could possibly go wrong... right?
Celestial, rated M
A banished Fire Prince shows up on the shores of the Southern Water Tribe seeking refuge and a new place to call home. He dares not reveal his true identity to the tribe, but finds it harder and harder to lie when a certain young waterbender, the daughter of the chief, catches his eye - and he, hers.
Katara is intensely curious about the scarred young man who has thrown himself so completely into learning their customs and traditions, their way of life, but she's also suspicious of him. He seems too good to be true, and when he ends up saving Sokka's life, the secrets he's tried so hard to keep begin unraveling.
Far away, the war rages on, and - unknown to both Zuko and Katara - Zuko's days in the Southern Water Tribe are limited. What will happen to them and their growing feelings for each other, when Zuko is forced to leave?
Rewrite the Stars, rated T
A season 2 and 3 AU with an extended timeline starting with an unexpected reunion between Katara and Zuko in Ba Sing Se. A single night leads to a complicated future for Katara, and she's not sure if Zuko will be part of that or not.
Broken Moon, rated T - Book 1 of the Broken Moon Trilogy
Set in an entirely different, historical-fantasy world where two kingdoms are on the verge of war, Princess Katara is involved in an arranged marriage to Prince Zuko. She learns the truth about what Prince Zuko is, and is forced to try to save her kingdom from King Ozai's plan.
These Scars Will Fade, rated M - Book 2 of These Scars
Following the events of These Scars of Ours, Katara and Zuko are reunited and forced to face their feelings - both about what's happened and about each other - while Katara discovers uncomfortable secrets about her parents' pasts.
Completed Fics
These Scars of Ours, rated M - Book 1 of These Scars
After both Katara and Zuko nearly die during the Agni Kai, Katara stays in the Fire Nation for a while before they embark on a journey to find Zuko's mother. Along the way, they discover that Ursa is not the only one who has survived in secret, and uncover dark secrets about the Fire Nation that leads to a plot to destroy Zuko and any hope for world peace.
Bathed in Moonlight, Cloaked in Darkness, rated M
A Werewolf!Katara and Vampire!Zuko vigilante story with all the mutual pining of forbidden love, their determination to keep their true identities secret. Dark and violent with plenty of angst sprinkled in.
Drive You Home, rated T
Zuko always drives Katara home after she gets off work.
One night, he doesn't show up. He's stuck somewhere between living and dying, and he doesn't know how to escape.
Inspired by Drive You Home by Jackson Wang
If Only I'd Have Known (You Had a Storm to Weather), rated T
All seven prompts for Zutara Week 2021 in one, convenient fic.
Day 1: Hair
Day 2: Disguised
Day 3: Glowing
Day 4: Silence (free day)
Day 5: Mend
Day 6: Spirits
Day 7: Stories
Individual summaries at the beginning of each chapter.
Buckle up folks, this is a feels trip and I'm holding nothing back.
Since When?, rated T
The air around her is filled with a deadly crackle of electricity as she stands, frozen, staring at the streak of pale blue lightning that spells her end. It’s only a few seconds, she knows. She’s seen how fast Azula’s lightning strikes. She knows this is the end of her, and suddenly time is almost at a standstill. Everything she’s ever done, ever wanted to do, flashes before her, and she’s filled with such an overwhelming sense of despair and loss and regret that she will never get to experience all those things.
And then the lightning is interrupted by a dark shadow throwing itself in its path, and someone is shouting - someone whose voice is raspy and desperate and familiar - and all she can do is stare, horrified, as the lightning meant for her strikes his chest instead, tossing him to the ground like he’s nothing more than a discarded old doll.
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Confessions come too late. A future is lost. Nothing can be done.
How to Bake a Cake, rated T
A cute, fluffy piece about childhood friends Katara and Zuko who reunite unexpectedly and are forced to face the fact that friendship might not be the only thing they feel for each other.
We Weren't Meant for Forever, rated M - Alternate Ending Here
An angsty, heartbreaking story about the love that blossoms between Katara and a cute, flirty nurse named Zuko after Katara saves a boy from a violent attack in the Lower Ring of Ba Sing Se where she lives.
The Spot Thief, rated T
A one-shot about a passive-aggressive war over a coveted parking space that leads to sparks flying when the two young professionals finally meet.
Brightest in the Dark, rated T
Rebels are causing problems within Caldera City and Zuko's council is being useless in terms of stopping it. Katara plans to deal with them herself as the Painted Lady and ends up teaming up with the Blue Spirit.
Little Spark, rated G
Izumi starts firebending for the first time. She wields blue fire. She is upset because she wanted to be a waterbender like her mama. Zuko is worried because he remembers Azula's blue fire. Katara reassures them both.
Ambassador to the Southern Water Tribe, rated G
In a world where there was no Hundred Year War, Zuko is assigned to be the Ambassador of the Southern Water Tribe by his uncle, Fire Lord Iroh. In the frigid South Pole, he meets a fascinating waterbender named Katara, who happens to be the princess.
Slow Motion, rated T
Katara comes up with a plan to help Zuko de-stress when they decide to visit her family in the Southern Water Tribe and they go penguin sledding together.
Scar Tissue, rated M
The original version of These Scars of Ours, it follows a similar plot at first, diverging when it comes to the political plot and the aftermath.
Zutara Drabble December (series), mostly rated G and T
A mix of angst and fluff flash fiction pieces based on the ZK Drabble December 2020 prompts.
#fic list#neva borne talks about her work#neva borne#zutara#zuko#katara#zutara fanfiction#zutara fanfic#ao3#zutara fics
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For the sharing a bed ask bc I can't remember for the life of me if I've sent one to you yet 🙈 'they took turns sharing it while the other was on watch' or however exactly that one was worded ❤️❤️
aaa tysm for the prompt! i loved it and i hope you enjoy! continuing with the no plot just vibes agenda~
send me a prompt
rated: g | words: 3679 | tags: royai, there was only one bed, shelter from the storm, snowstorm, tending to wounds, comfort, fluff
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Exhaustion followed both occupants of the crumbling bothy like a shadow. It clung to them, slowing their movements, as if it was physically attached to their ankles like two weights. Booted feet were dragged across the polished, undulating stones underfoot, worn down after years of use, and finally came to stop in the centre of the main room.
Years of use didn’t warrant years of upkeep apparently, Riza thought, as she did a sweep of the building. It was not in the best condition however it was still standing, and it was shelter from the storm outside. That was all Riza was currently concerned with.
There were only two rooms, plus a bathroom with a functioning sink and toilet – surprisingly enough. The pipes grunted and groaned, screaming in protest at being used, but it worked and was clean. A worn plaque above the sink indicated the water was drinkable as well, which was the best news she’d heard all day. A small blessing in this wretched situation they’d found themselves in.
To counteract that thought, at that exact moment, a howling gust of wind rattled the door thoroughly and whistled through the cracked class of the windows to its left and right. The Colonel whipped around to stare, partly in fright and partly because he was on edge. They both were. The sudden scream that sounded as the wind tried to force its way inside through the glass made Riza jump as well.
They shared a look and the Colonel’s lips pressed into a thin line.
“So much for the famed northern hospitality,” he muttered. His words held a bite to them, however Riza was unsure whether it was directed at the situation itself or at anyone in particular.
It wasn’t anyone’s fault they’d found themselves in this situation, however it was not ideal, nor was it pleasant. The first point on their ‘bad things that have happened today’ list (at this point, they were up to around number six) was a snowstorm had rendered their transport from the station in North City to the town they were supposed to be visiting useless. The truck owner boasted it was an all-terrain, all-weather vehicle, that he was handpicked by the military for transport because of his “beauty’s” prowess. He quickly stopped bragging though and started muttering angrily at his prized possession, kicking the tyre in fury as it sat pitifully in a snowy ditch, unable to escape the confines of it. It was safe to say his “beauty” fell short of the mark for the two soldiers. No amount of pushing from the three of them would shift it. However, they had deadlines to meet, so were forced to say their goodbyes and go ahead on foot.
There was no way they’d make it in time but at least they could honestly say they had tried when questioned.
It was by a stroke of luck they’d stumbled upon a walker’s bothy. Night was creeping in quickly, especially with the ongoing snowstorm. The world was turning greyer by the second and when Riza spotted it, she made a beeline straight for the shelter. The wind was too loud to talk over, but the Colonel saw her beckoning gesture and nodded, following behind her without question, already trusting her judgement and thought process.
The main room housed a single wooden bedframe with no mattress. There was another spot where another bed frame should be, but only half it remained. It had been broken in half. Whether that had been from an accident, an act of vandalism, or due to the passage of time, Riza wasn’t sure. Not that it would be of any use to them split in half, but simple curiosity had the Colonel searching the rest of the small building for the other half. There was a large stone fireplace that was bereft of any wood, they noticed with dismay, however after venturing through to the second room on the left, there was a massive pile of it within. It was a supply for the winter months for anyone who needed it, so the piece of paper tacked to an old corkboard on the wall said. There were two chairs placed around the fire and some cast iron cooking utensils stacked in a neat pile upon the hearth, lifting their spirits slightly. They had rations from the truck driver that would not require their use, but the sight of them was still a positive.
“I think we’ll be safe enough to sleep here tonight,” she announced, ignoring the Colonel’s petulant comment.
“Lieutenant,” he called quietly to her, catching her attention. When she turned her head, he gestured to one of the chairs. “You should rest.” He glanced down at her feet, and Riza knew exactly what he was thinking.
She’d stumbled and twisted her ankle while they walked. The pain had eased completely the more she’d walked, so Riza assumed it would be fine. Now they’d stopped, it was throbbing in time with her pulse. It appeared to be worse than she’d thought.
Just what they needed.
She sighed and mentally added that as number seven to their list.
Sitting on one of the chairs, Riza sighed quietly in relief as it lessened the pressure on her injured joint. The Colonel followed suit and he too sounded extremely relieved to finally sit down.
“What a day,” he muttered, tilting his head back and closing his eyes.
Riza hummed in agreement, causing him to reopen his eyes and glance tiredly over at her. She shifted in place, feeling a shiver travel down her spine.
Without a word, the Colonel stood and ventured into the other room. He came back with arms full of firewood and started the process of arranging them within the fireplace. After a single snap the fire roared to life, filling the room with a soft orange glow and warmth. A few minutes later the invading bite of the winter chill was beginning to alleviate and Riza could feel her muscles relaxing.
“Do you think there will be anything outside waiting for us?”
His question was so sudden as he stared into the fire that it took Riza a moment to process it.
“Pardon?”
The Colonel blinked and tore his eyes away from the dancing flames. He repeated his question as he turned to look at her, expression serious.
“Like what?”
“What about bears?” He looked genuinely concerned.
Riza blinked at him. “Probably. I think so, yes.” She faintly recalled hearing stories about the size and might of the bears in the north but elected not to bring it up. She didn’t think that would have been beneficial or productive in that moment, especially not after recognising a faint glint of fear that was discernible in the Colonel’s eyes.
“Do you think we should be concerned?”
Riza glanced over her shoulder at the door as it rattled on its hinges. “I don’t think so. We’ll be safe in here.”
“How can you be so sure?”
“Do you know any bears that can open doors?” Both her brows lifted as she regarded him.
“I know a bear could open that door,” he scoffed, jerking his head towards it. “It’s hardly a strong line of defence.”
That was true. One more gust of wind might snap it off one of the hinges. The top one rattled playfully to emphasise his point.
“I think we’ll be okay, sir,” Riza replied smoothly, trying to keep her amusement out of her tone.
The Colonel scowled at her anyway. Apparently she hadn’t been entirely successful.
Riza chuckled upon seeing his expression. “City boy,” she muttered to herself, her tone light and playful.
“I would say it was a legitimate concern,” he replied haughtily.
“You also thought there were bears in the woods outside my father’s house.”
“I think my point still stands.”
“Bears do not exist in every wooded area and forest, Roy.” She rolled her eyes at him in amused exasperation, momentarily forgetting herself.
It was so easy talking to him like this. The two of them were alone together and stuck in a predicament that neither could have ever predicted or conjured up, yet here they were. It was surreal, but it was nice. Despite everything that had happened today she was still relatively happy. She was grateful to be with him. Ideally, she’d have neither of them stranded in a snowstorm, however she was glad he was here. If there was anyone she’d want to be stranded with, it would be him.
After she’d realised her minor slip up, Riza paused and glanced over at him, noting his soft expression and smile. It was so genuine and happy that she didn’t cringe or apologise. She didn’t feel the need to.
“We sound like we did when we were children,” he replied.
Riza felt her own nostalgic smile spread across her face. “We do.”
“I’ll take first watch,” he offered.
Riza opened her mouth to protest but he’d already shoved a threadbare blanket he’d found towards her. Riza didn’t particularly want to use it – she had no way of knowing how clean it was – however the building was not heated in the slightest, aside from the fire. It was built for hikers who were well prepared with sleeping bags, which they were not. For survival, Riza had to accept any kind of warmth she could get.
“You need to rest that ankle,” he added.
She nodded and took the blanket from him. Riza settled herself on the hard, wooden bedframe so she was facing into the room. It was warmer than facing the cold stone of the wall beside the bed.
“Colonel?”
He glanced over at her expectantly.
“Watch out for those bears.”
* * * * * * * *
The wind had died down throughout the night at least. Roy had been partly joking when he brought up the bears that may be lurking outside for them, however now that he’d put the idea inside his own head, he couldn’t help but take an extra glance every now and then out the window.
Just in case.
It was worth bringing it up to hear the Lieutenant’s laugh. To hear her accidentally call him by his first name. It had been so worth it.
To whittle away the time his mind tried its best to summon a plan of attack against any bear that did appear, going over how he would react and how he would fend one off, but Roy had come to only one conclusion after about half an hour of plotting. It was folly. There was absolutely no way he’d be able to take on a bear. His eyes narrowed at the rickety old door and took solace in the fact the doorway looked too small for a bear to fit through. They were safe from them so long as they stayed inside, and that was good enough for him.
Now the bear appearance dilemma, likely or not, had been put to bed, Roy’s thoughts turned towards the Lieutenant. He glanced down at her ankle as she lay sound asleep, remembering how she’d stumbled and fallen in a snowdrift. Insisting she was fine, they’d pressed on. They didn’t have much choice in the matter anyway, but he was still concerned. He had a strong inkling she was suffering for it as they travelled. A sprained ankle under normal conditions would ease with rest, but that was not a luxury they’d been afforded as they traversed the snowy landscape to safety. Snowdrifts up to their knees were common and Roy had felt dead on his feet when they finally came to a stop inside this shelter.
That was one blessing of the day, at least. He’d simply laughed at their luck, shaking his head, now they were safe beneath shelter, dry, and out of the storm.
But if he’d felt tired down to his bones, then he couldn’t imagine how the Lieutenant must have felt upon their arrival.
Steadying his resolve, Roy determined there was no imminent danger. No bears coming through the night to get them. Now the storm had eased, looking through the shards of the window, Roy could see the gorgeous landscape splayed before him, illuminated by the moonlight, and enhanced by the heavy snow. It looked a lot more inviting than it had a few hours ago.
He wouldn’t, but he was tempted to wake up the Lieutenant to show her how beautiful it looked.
Roy smiled to himself, the thought dredging up an old memory from their past. He faintly recalled doing something similar when he’d experienced his first winter at the Hawkeye house. He’d ran to her room without a thought, excited and eager to show her how the dark forest outside had transformed into a silvery white and green wonderland.
It had been something he’d been desperate to share with her.
“Colonel?”
A tired voice called to him, and Roy immediately lost his interest in the world outside. He turned, seeing the Lieutenant blink tiredly at him.
“Lieutenant,” he greeted, an air of concern about him. He hadn’t expected her to wake so soon, and if she did, he knew she’d want to take over watch duties.
She shot him a small smile, placating his nerves somewhat. Pushing herself up into a seated position, the Lieutenant stretched her arms over her head.
“How’s the ankle?”
She grimaced, but only slightly. “Better now that I’ve taken my weight off it.”
That didn’t answer his question entirely. “Is there any pain?”
She was silent as she looked down at her legs. “It does throb every now and again. That’s what woke me up.”
Roy nodded, dismayed to hear she was in pain. If he could take it away, he would, but they didn’t have painkillers in their first aid kits. The only thing that would help was a support, which the Lieutenant had already put on after gently easing her boot off. She didn’t react to the angry red hue of her skin, but Roy felt his stomach tense. It hadn’t looked good. The compression support had been slipped on slowly, but Roy saw the way her eye twitched twice and how her jaw clenched while obviously trying to conceal any kind of pain.
“Why don’t you try and get a few hours sleep,” the Lieutenant offered. “I think I’ll be up for a while now.” She swung her legs around and to the floor, visibly wincing when her sore ankle contacted the floor. Another appeared when she tried to stand, but Roy quickly scrambled towards her.
“Please, stay seated,” he insisted. “You shouldn’t be walking on that ankle.”
The Lieutenant shot him a strained smile. “That doesn’t bode well for us for tomorrow,” she quipped.
Roy opened his mouth to reply, but she was right. Still, hewas right. She shouldn’t be walking on that ankle.
“Regardless,” he admonished, placing his hands on her shoulders as a gentle restraint to keep her in place. “All the more reason to remain seated and keep resting it then, right?” Triumph flashed through him, and he smirked when the Lieutenant’s lips pursed, because she knew he was right.
“You can’t sleep on the floor, though,” she warned.
His shoulders fell in defeat, glancing down at the bed. His mind rejoiced with the idea that sprung into it, however it was so far out the realm of what was appropriate that it was completely out of the question.
Roy retracted his hands as the Lieutenant placed both hands by her sides and effortlessly slid herself backwards, so her back came to rest upon the stone wall behind her. She made herself comfortable and looked at him expectantly, patting the space beside her to indicate he should join her and sit.
Even if it wasn’t appropriate to share a bed with his Lieutenant, Roy only needed to take one look around them both and remember where they were. This day was already bizarre enough. What was one more occurrence to add to that list?
He wouldn’t particularly class it as sharing a bed with her either. They would both be sitting upright, looking out at the room, with considerable distance in place between them.
“We can take turns with the blanket,” she smirked as she handed it over.
Roy snorted lightly and gratefully received her offering. The room was warm enough with the fire but the stone behind his back still stubbornly clung to the icy temperatures from outside, refusing to accept the warmth they’d provided the room. Wrapping it around his shoulders, Roy settled back in place and made himself comfortable.
He woke with a start a few hours later. His head jerked upright and swung left and right, unseeing as he still tried to shake the vision from his dreams.
“Colonel? Colonel!”
He paused for a second, recognising the voice. It was from someone he thought he’d lost in his dream.
“Roy,” the Lieutenant called to him.
It was enough to surprise him, that it brought him back to the present. Glancing to his right, he saw his Lieutenant still seated next to him, eyes wide and concerned.
“Are you okay?” Her eyes were searching his, moving back and forth frantically as she scanned his face with worry.
“Yes,” he breathed, trying to get a hold of his racing heart to slow it down. He was all right. She was all right. They were safe. He gulped down air, trying to get enough into his lungs and take away the fear that had both restricted them and wrapped tightly around his heart. “Just… A bad dream.”
The Lieutenant nodded in understanding and patted his forearm. That was when Roy realised she didn’t remove it, and that it had been there the entire time.
“Do you want to talk about it?”
Roy shook his head. “It’s okay,” he breathed. “Thank you, though,” he quickly added. “It was just… the usual,” he offered. The usual nowadays was him losing someone dear to him. The Promised Day had not been kind on his mind. To this day he still suffered, and he didn’t particularly want to relive it after it was so fresh. His reply was code enough that the Lieutenant knew exactly what he was referring to. They’d already been open about what their ‘usual’ nightmares consisted of nowadays.
As suspected, realisation dawned upon her features, and she nodded in sympathy.
“I… I need some time before I can sleep again,” he admitted. There was no shame in his voice though, not with her. Never with her. They were both very well acquainted with the reasons the other struggled to sleep. “You should try for a while.”
“Okay,” she acquiesced. She gave his forearm a squeeze and again, she didn’t remove it. “Wake me if you need anything, all right?” She waited for him to verbally agree with her. Only once he did, did the Lieutenant’s eyes close.
Watching her do so caused Roy’s brow to furrow slightly in confusion.
She must have moved closer to him as he slept, because where there had been about two feet of distance between them before, there was now mere centimetres. Just enough distance for the Lieutenant’s head to loll and fall against his shoulder comfortably as she slept.
He’d been startled awake, so Roy hadn’t realised he’d initiated it. In sleep, his head had bowed and rolled to the side, seeking out her presence. After shifting closer, the Lieutenant had eased him from his uncomfortable position and lifted his head to lie upon her shoulder.
Now recovered from the turmoil of his dream, Roy smiled down at her and relished in the comfort her presence brought him. The weight of her head against him eased his mind and slowed his racing pulse. He could breathe easier with her lying against him. A peace washed over his body, relaxing his taught muscles, and soothing his very soul.
Despite their predicament, he was glad she was here with him.
The grip she had on his forearm loosened, so Roy snaked his hand over to it, hooking their fingers together and holding on tightly. The Lieutenant stirred next to him, disturbed from sleep.
“Sorry,” he whispered, “it’s okay. It’s just me.” He gave her hand a quick squeeze.
There was a brief pause with no reply, then the Lieutenant’s grip on him tightened and remained.
“Okay,” she exhaled peacefully. She moved next to him, shuffling closer, which Roy was more than happy to indulge in.
As she was lulled back to sleep, her grip on his hand slackened but Roy never let her go. He anchored himself to her.
They’d get through this and get home. Not that she’d allow it of course, but Roy would carry her through the snow with that ankle if need be to ensure their safety. It had been the day from hell professionally, however ending it with the two of them curled together on that uncomfortable bed, gripping onto one another, was not bad in the slightest. Roy thought that was the closest to heaven he was ever going to get.
* * * * * * * *
Their luck must have finally been turning for the better, as that morning a group of hikers entered the bothy loudly, laughing and joking with one another, while Roy helped the Lieutenant strap up her ankle. They were offered food and directions to the nearest town, which was only two miles away. The group set off with them, insistent on offering their help and support, and even assisted the Lieutenant with some painkillers as well.
After the day of travel they’d had before, it brightened up both soldier’s moods somewhat as they set off again through the snowy northern landscape with their new company.
Thankfully, they didn’t come across any bears.
They made it to the town in one peace and called North City Headquarters for assistance. And also requested back up for that assistance.
Just in case.
#royai#royai fic#royai fanfic#royai oneshot#emma writes#oh hey the manifesting worked lol#no plot just viiiiiibes baybeeeee#this was more taxing that it should have been asdfsg but it felt good to write again 😌#ask#roseofbattles#fic request#miles adrift inches away#there was only one bed
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Familia - Oscar “Spooky” Diaz
Pairing: Oscar “Spooky” Diaz x reader
Requested: Yes.
Prompts: None.
Warnings/notes: Warning for slight OOC-Spooky and a change of the series’ original plot and storyline. There’s soe Spanish in here so you might have to look some phrases and words up. This took me nearly four days to complete so please leave a comment and let me know what you think. This is definitely too long to be proofread so I apologize in advance for any possible mistakes. I hope you like it xx
Wordcount: 30,766 (Yup, you read that right)
Summary: You and Oscar have been together since you were seventeen, with a four-year-old daughter and another child on the way. When Ray returns after being absent from his sons’ lives for twelve entire years, tension is awakened between everyone and you’re determined not to let your family fall apart.
Quick, Spanish words blended together with the bubbling sounds of the coffee maker on this early morning in the Diaz residence, filling the otherwise silent air.
You could make out the faint sound of the clock on the kitchen wall and through the open window right where you were standing, you could hear the early birds chirping and the leaves of the trees rustling with a light breeze.
The smell of coffee was invading your senses and the fresh air coming in through the window pulled at your hair where you stood by the sink, washing the plate Oscar had eaten his breakfast from only minutes before, but the warmth from the sunrays hitting your face and bare arms made up for the chilly morning breeze.
The man in question was sitting at the kitchen table with his phone pressed to his ear, speaking to Sad Eyes and waiting for the coffee you had promised to bring him when he had to answer the call.
He had, of course, protested, saying that you shouldn’t be doing as much work around the house as you did when you were heavily pregnant, but when hearing what his second in command had to say he had sat down pretty quickly.
The sound of his voice and the feeling of genuine peace this morning was enough to make you smile as you cut off the water and gave the plate a good shake before grabbing a towel and drying it off.
Once the surface was squeaky clean, or well, as clean as it could be with the deep, grey fork scratches from the frequent use, you put it back into its cabinet and brought down Oscar’s black coffee mug.
The bubbling of the coffee maker had quietened down by now, indicating that the coffee was done and ready to be consumed, and you wasted no time in filling the cup up to near the brim, only saving a little bit of space.
The cup was now releasing a cloud of steam that went all the way up to your face, causing your skin to grow damp.
But you paid it no mind, simply walking over to the refrigerator where you brought the open carton of milk out, briefly putting the mug down on the counter in order to be able to open it and pour some in.
Once you were done, you put the milk back into the fridge and grabbed the mug again, not letting your eyes leave it even once as you carefully waddled over to the table where Oscar was sitting, not wanting to spill the coffee on the floor.
You might have filled it a little too generously and it wasn’t the easiest of tasks so balance it when you could barely balance yourself on your feet with the weight of your round belly, but you managed, reaching Oscar within the next few seconds.
He looked up at you the second he saw you approaching. Once you reached him, the hand that wasn’t holding the phone reached out for your belly, pressing against it protectively before taking the steaming hot cup of coffee from your hand.
You smiled softly, wiping your hands on the front of your jeans to rid them of the little coffee you had spilled while waddling over from the kitchen.
“You heard anything from Cesar yet?” You asked, keeping your voice down to not disturb his call.
You watched as he took a gulp of the coffee before shaking his head, mouthing ‘no’ as he listened to Sad Eyes speak on the other side of the line, all while holding eye-contact with you.
When you had gone to wake Cesar up, you had found his bed empty like you had so many other mornings before. Him sneaking out when you were sleeping to go sneak into Monse’s house wasn’t a rare occurrence.
Still, especially now when you were pretty much constantly controlled by your hormones, the motherly worry came naturally whenever he wasn’t safe at your side. But you were sure he was fine. If he wasn’t, Oscar would have known. He could always sense when his mano was in danger.
Dropping the subject, guessing he would show up before going to school, you wordlessly leaned down to kiss Oscar’s cheek before leaving him to his call and coffee again, instead heading towards your shared bedroom.
Reaching the door, you grabbed the handle and carefully pushed it open, peeking your head inside.
The room was dark, the blinds still down, but just enough light managed to escape in through the cracks of said blinds to allow you to see your daughter where she laid in yours and Oscar’s bed.
She was laying facing the door, her long, black locks spread out in a mess over the white pillow, her chest rising and falling with soft snores leaving her nose and her thumb sucked into her mouth.
The sight of her never failed to make your heart skip a beat in your chest, just when it did when you saw Oscar. Neither of you had lived very happy lives but she was the greatest gift God ever could have given you.
You had met Oscar when you were both no older than seventeen, and Cesar ten. You had both been in a really bad place, with Oscar struggling to carry an entire gang on his back while simultaneously having to raise his brother and with you jumping between your friends in a desperate attempt to flee the system you had been forced into at an early age.
To a start, your relationship had only been about a warm body to hold when things got too heavy and you couldn’t go through it alone.
Oscar wasn’t too fond of feelings and lovey-dovey shit and always had to show himself as hard and emotionally unavailable, and you… well, you just didn’t trust very easily.
But when you started staying over after your nightly fun and he saw you with Cesar in the mornings, he couldn’t help but fall head over heels in love with you, and when he started inviting you over for activities that didn’t include rolling around in the sheets, your feelings started developing for him too.
You never officially moved in with them, but you never really left either. You started making sure that three meals a day was on the table for them and started taking initiative to walk Cesar to and home from school when Oscar got caught up with disobeying the law.
A year later, you were playing house and happy family pretty much on a routine with little to no effort at all, everything coming naturally.
The Santos accepted you into the family, Cesar looked up to you like you were his mother despite the fact that you were only seven years older and Oscar was already planning on spending the rest of his life with you.
On your eighteenth birthday, he gifted you a promise ring and kept an identical one for himself. He wasn’t one to get all cute and mushy and this time was no different, but you knew it was a big step for him to take so the way he handled it didn’t really matter.
It had been one of the best days of your life. Not only were you now claimed by Spooky, but you were also free from the system and free to be your own individual, and on the same night you found out that you were pregnant and expecting your first child together.
But of course with your luck, the happiness was short-lived.
The next night, Oscar was arrested and sentenced to four years in prison, leaving you and Cesar alone. Of course, you still had the Santos to provide for you. Oscar being gone didn’t change the fact that you were a part of the family.
But you didn’t like having them around the house when Oscar wasn’t there so the only one you really hung out with was Sad Eyes, who came by a few times a week to check up on you and leave you a roll of cash for rent, food and other necessities.
How exactly they got the money you didn’t know, neither Oscar nor Sad Eyes liking to involve you into the gang-business, but you didn’t ask questions.
You went to visit Oscar in prison every Tuesday, Sad Eyes and Mario taking turns driving you while Cesar stayed at the Martinez residence until you got home when he was still too young to be left home alone.
Cesar never went to visit him in person, though. Oscar didn’t want him to have to see him stuck behind that thick glass in that awful jumpsuit, so he only ever talked to him over the phone once or twice a week.
During your pregnancy, Mario was there for you every day and you managed to become really good friends which you knew Oscar was forever grateful for.
There weren’t many people the infamous Spooky respected and trusted, but Mario was one of them and he was happy that you were able to hang around someone on the right side of the law.
After first hearing about your blooming friendship when Mario had driven you to visitation day the first time, Oscar more or less forced the slightly younger guy to go with you to all of your ultrasounds from then on, wanting him to witness everything that he was missing so that he could re-tell it to him during visitation.
Mario was too scared to turn him down so he made sure he was free to accompany you to all of your check-ups and by the time you were approaching the end of your pregnancy, you had lost count of the amount of time Mario had been mistaken for the dad.
Much to his horror, he had been forced to be present at the time of birth, as well. Geny Martinez was there too at your request and she was able to keep her calm, having gone through the procedure of childbirth before, but the seventeen-year-old Mario had never been as terrified as he was then.
Still, he forced himself to sit through it in order to be able to tell Oscar about it at the next visitation, during which you brought him pictures of your baby girl and decided on a name.
It took a while to get on the same page, but after a good half hour of bickering back and forth, you finally managed to decide on the name Lucía with a helpful input from Mario who had been sitting by and listening to your fighting in silence up until then.
You had been planning to talk to Oscar about making Mario Lucía’s godfather after that, something you hadn’t told Mario yet.
But before you could even mention it, Oscar, much to yours and Mario’s surprise, was the one to bring the topic up, telling him it was only right after how much he had been there for his baby mama when he couldn’t.
And of course, Mario gladly accepted, basically jumping with happiness when you left that afternoon.
Him and his family continued to be there for you now that you didn’t only have Cesar to care for, but a newborn baby, as well.
It was all overwhelming to you, all of the sudden having so many people jumping at the chance to help you when you had grown up all on your own.
You continued to visit Oscar on your own, bringing him new pictures and stories every time, but you never brought Lucía to see him.
You wanted him to meet his daughter and you knew that he wanted nothing more in the entire world than to do so, but he didn’t want her first memory of him to be of him in prison, much like he hadn’t wanted Cesar to see him like that.
So you had no other choice but to respect his wishes, instead showing your daughter pictures of her father every day as she grew bigger, to put a face to the man she would be calling daddy when he got out.
And his sign-out day was soon upon you, four entire years later. Both you and Oscar were twenty-two at the time, Cesar fifteen and Lucía had just turned three.
Four entire years he had gone without touching you or seeing his mano face to face, but that was nothing in comparison to the three years he had been forced to endure knowing he had a daughter waiting for him on the outside, a daughter he had never gotten to meet.
He didn’t show it, but he was so nervous that he almost threw up on the spot when he came out of the building inside which he had been locked up for the past four years, to see you standing in front of his red Impala with Lucía balanced on your hip.
She had smiled upon seeing his familiar face, recognizing it from the pictures you had shown her every day, and stretched her arms out for him with a gleeful laugh.
That was the first time since meeting him that you had seen him cry, tears welling up in his eyes as he took his daughter into his arms, felt her skin against his for the first time ever.
You had stayed there, in the middle of the parking lot, for a good ten minutes. He had been holding her so carefully, not moving an inch, almost as if he was scared that he would break her if he did.
Once he finally broke free from his trance and managed to relax, he had taken you to the beach where you spent your first ever hour together, eating ice cream and watching the waves.
It had been perfect, but also very comical.
Oscar obviously knew how to be a father. He had raised his brother on his own throughout his entire teenage years, and all he really had to do was the exact opposite of what his dad had.
But he had absolutely no idea how to handle a baby, so to say it had been hilarious to see him chasing after Lucía as she, in turn, chased after a couple of seagulls, was the biggest understatement of the century.
He had been so careful with her, so wary and pretty much walking around on eggshells the entire time you spent together. And when she fell and started crying, he was at an absolute loss of what to do.
But then he picked her up, held her against his chest, and she stopped crying immediately, nuzzling her face into his neck and wrapping her short arms around him, and he was absolutely gone in the sudden burst of love he felt.
Ever since then, he barely left her alone, and you knew it was only going to get worse as she grew older. You didn’t even want to think about how protective he would get when she started getting interested in boys.
You loved her to bits but Oscar… the love he held for her was on an entirely different level. He would throw himself into the line of fire to take a bullet for you, but for her, for her he would burn down entire cities if he had to.
He was in love with you and had been since the moment you first met, but it was in her that he had found his true happiness and that, in turn, only made you even more happy.
The sound of a car door slamming shut somewhere out on the street suddenly cut through the air and you jumped in fright, a hand automatically flying to clutch your chest in an attempt to calm your racing heart.
You had gotten so lost in your train of thought that you had no idea how long you had been standing there for.
You shook yourself back to reality and sent a final glance to your sleeping daughter before you carefully closed the door again, allowing her to sleep in. You left a small crack open in the door so that you would be able to hear her if she woke up and cried for you, and headed back into the living room area of the house.
Oscar was still sitting where you left him, his back turned to you where he sat at the table.
His eyes met yours as you re-entered the room and he started saying goodbye to Sad Eyes on the phone, only a second later removing the phone from his ear to end the call on the screen.
As he did so, you approached him from behind, wrapping your arms around his shoulders and leaning your head down to press a kiss to the side of his neck, breathing in the intoxicating smell of his skin and kneading his shoulders with your hands gently.
“Everything okay?” You questioned and he hummed, raising the now almost empty cup of coffee to his lips to take a gulp while putting his phone down on the table.
Just then, the front door slammed open, causing both of you to jump with surprise and look over to where Cesar had now barged into the house, his eyes wide with worry.
“Hey, hey, hey!” Cesar yelled out, head looking around in search for his brother for a second before finding you at the table, then walking up to you while pointing his thumb behind him. “There’s a dude posted up outside!”
You tensed at the sound of his words, your hand instantly going to your belly, and Oscar wasted no time in standing up from his seat.
“Baby?” You questioned, and he turned to you, pressed a chaste kiss to your forehead, hand on top of your own where it rested on your stomach.
“Wait inside, mamas.” He instructed before turning around and grabbing his gun from on top of the cupboard standing in the corner and marching outside, cocking the gun as he walked through the doorway and out into the sunshine.
You exchanged a look with Cesar and as usual, before you could even think to stop him, he did the exact opposite of what he was told and rushed after his brother.
“Get back inside!” You could hear Oscar yell at him almost immediately and he did as told, backing into the doorway again and looking back at you.
Curiosity got the best of you when you still hadn’t heard any threats or gunshots from outside and you waddled up to your future brother-in-law, holding on to his arm while you attempted to peek outside.
His hand came up to grab yours and together, you slowly moved a few steps further out on the porch.
Your eyes instantly found Oscar where he was standing on the lawn, body tensed up. And then your eyes flickered over to where he was looking, finding a man standing around on the other side of the street by a tree.
He was wearing a white tank top and blue jeans with a belt, had black, slicked-back hair, a big tattoo running across his chest with a few smaller ones on his arms. He was smoking a cigarette, leaning against the tree as him and Oscar stared each other down, and he had a bag waiting at the ground beside him.
It didn’t take longer than a few seconds for you to connect the dots and recognize the man from Oscar’s stories, figuring his identity out almost immediately.
But Cesar was clueless, taking another step forward and losing his grip on you in the process, looking between his brother and the stranger with confused, brown eyes.
“Oscar?” He called out, taking another step closer to him. “Who is that?”
The man’s eyes moved from Oscar to Cesar as he made himself known, and even though you couldn’t see Oscar’s face right then, you knew him good enough to know that he was glaring.
“Our father.” He answered without missing a beat, confirming your suspicions.
Cesar froze in his spot, his eyes turning slightly wider, while Oscar turned his head to the side and tucked the gun into the hem of his shorts, turning around to come back inside.
He shoved past Cesar who was still standing rooted to his spot, and you reached your hand out to grab his arm once he reached you in the doorway.
“Baby.” You mumbled, pulling him to you, and he made no move to stop you, his hand simply coming to rest on your belly and his forehead pressing against yours as you backed into the house together.
“I thought I told you to stay inside.” He muttered, annoyed, but his touch was as soft as ever, not threatening in the slightest.
“I know, I’m sorry…” You apologized quietly, looking up at him hesitantly. “Should I put on some more coffee?”
His soft eyes turned stern. “No. He’s not staying.” He told you surely, shutting the subject down.
You nodded silently and sat down with him in the sofa, Cesar coming in and sitting down beside you with his father in tow a few seconds later.
While you and Oscar sat close to each other in the furthest corner of the couch, his arm wrapped around your shoulders, Cesar sat at the opposite corner, his elbows leaning on his thighs and his legs manspreading just like his older brother’s were beside you.
Ray’s eyes instantly found you where you were sitting, flickering between Oscar’s face to yours, and along to Oscar’s hand that was still resting protectively on your belly, thumb absentmindedly rubbing soothing circles through the fabric of your shirt and sporting a thick, golden wedding band identical to the one on your ring finger.
A look of shock momentarily crossed over his face, but he quickly covered it up, dropping his bag to the floor and starting to look around, now smoking a fresh cigarette by the looks of it.
The air remained thick with silence for a good minute and you almost felt like you were about to suffocate from the tension.
Oscar was tense beside you, his leg bouncing up and down in an attempt to keep himself calm and so far, he was doing an alright job.
You had expected him to react a lot harsher when the time came that his dad would be returning home and you were proud of him for being able to stay calm, even if you knew he was only doing it for you and Lucía and not for himself.
But then Ray walked over to the kitchen table and tapped the excess ashes of his cigarette into the mug that Oscar had been drinking coffee from only a few minutes ago, and he instantly reacted beside you.
“Can you not smoke in the house?” He spat out at his father, his face pulled into a murderous glare. “It’s not good for the baby.”
“Oscar.” You spoke before you could stop yourself, your face turning to meet his glare with a pointed look. He only stared at you for a second, before turning back to his dad, his glare now even fiercer.
You turned to look at the older man too, forcing yourself to smile. “It’s fine.” You told him and he nodded at you, but Oscar was quick again.
“It’s not fine.” He snapped, and you closed your eyes, breathing out deeply through your nose.
It wasn’t that you were angry with Oscar for being rude. He had every right to be and quite frankly, you hadn’t even expected him to let his father into the house.
But still, you always got anxious when he was in a bad mood, no matter what the cause behind it was, and the stress wasn’t good for the baby so you had to do everything in your power to stay calm, the tension making you so uncomfortable you would have rather melted through the floor than stay there right now.
Luckily, however, Ray stayed polite even with his son’s anger directed toward him and nodded his head, looking directly at you as he put the cigarette out in an ashtray standing on the table. “Sorry.”
You forced another smile through the tension and nodded, silently telling him thank you.
“So when did you get out?” Cesar finally joined the conversation after having sat quiet up until then, obviously nervous judging by the way he was twisting his hands around.
“Yesterday.”
Ray looked around some more as he answered, and Cesar smiled. “How was the trip down?” He asked, but Ray barely even spared him a glance.
“Long.”
The tone in his voice was bored and for a moment, you were overwhelmed by the urge to slap him upside the head and tell him to sound more interested. But of course you didn’t, keeping quiet as you watched him walk around the room.
“Looks the same, even smells the same.” He muttered but stopped himself as he came over a photograph on the wall. It was of you, Oscar, Cesar and Lucía on his first morning home from prison.
You looked like absolute crap, just having woken up at the time, but Oscar had insisted that you hang it up and who were you to say no?
Ray hummed at the sight of the picture, his fingers touching the frame lightly. “Almost the same, at least.” He said, before turning around.
You glanced at Oscar as Ray walked over to where you were sitting, finding his face pulled into an expression of pure and utter hatred as he watched his dad sink down on the stool across from you.
The feeling of unease only intensified inside of you now that the only thing between him and Oscar was a coffee table, feeling hopeless that you couldn’t do anything to ease the tension, and Cesar was feeling equally as awkward about the entire situation.
Ray looked at his youngest son, raising his head in a questioning manner. “You in school?” He asked, and Cesar opened his lips to reply.
Before he got the chance to get as much as a sound out, however, Oscar beat him to it. “Of course he is.”
Their father’s eyes flickered over to him and he nodded. “How about you?” He asked, Spanish accent thick. “Going to college?”
His question drew a scoff from Oscar’s lips. “Seriously?” He questioned.
You could feel him getting angrier for every second passing and out of pure instinct, grabbed a hold of the hand he had resting on your belly, a move that didn’t go unnoticed by Ray.
The man in question quickly looked away from your now intertwined fingers and back to his oldest son, changing the subject. “You’re about to be a father.” He pointed out, and the words instantly caused your lips to tug up into a smile.
“I am a father.” He corrected his own dad, the hidden pride in his voice causing a flurry of butterflies to go through your stomach.
If Ray hadn’t been shocked enough to see you pregnant when he first entered, he was almost at loss for words now. “You have another one?” He asked and Oscar answered without missing a beat.
“Lucía. She’s four.” The corner of his lip twitched upward for the shortest second, but he quickly realized his mistake and hardened his face again as the next question was delivered.
“How long have you been together?” Ray asked.
“Almost seven.” Oscar answered flatly, again without missing a beat.
The silence was really deafening, thick to the point where it was almost painful to be there. More than anything you would have rather just slipped away and gone back to bed where Lucía was still sleeping.
But you didn’t want to be rude and you knew that Oscar preferred to have you by his side when things were uncomfortable for him, so you stayed, no matter how much you didn’t want to.
“It- It’s nice to see you.” Cesar spoke then, breaking the silence again. You smiled at him, adoring him for how he was obviously trying to ease the tension, but Ray only nodded, not answering and not looking away from Oscar, which caused your smile to fall slightly.
Cesar didn’t give up, trying again. “Do you have any plans?”
This time, Ray turned his head to look at him, shaking his head. “No. Just wanted to see you guys before heading up to Bakersfield. Got a job lined up.” He informed him, and before he got the chance to answer, Oscar took the wheel again.
“Cesar, you need to get to school.” He spoke sternly, his eyes not leaving Ray, who had now looked back to him again.
Cesar threw his arms out in exasperation, looking to his older brother and looking ready to protest, but one stern look was more than enough to make him rethink that decision.
Instead, he sighed, turning to look at his dad again. “I’ll see you later.” He said, voice discouraged as he grabbed his bag from the floor beside him and begrudgingly standing up.
You watched as he headed for the door, reaching out to grab the handle, but before he opened the door he stopped himself and turned back around.
“Hey, do you maybe, uh, I don’t know, wanna hang? After school?” He asked unsurely and Ray tore his eyes away from Oscar’s for a moment to look up at him.
“Sure.” He answered.
Cesar’s discouraged attitude was exchanged by a happy one almost instantly and he nodded. “Cool.” He said and without another word to any of you, opened the door and left.
“So where are you staying?” Oscar asked the second his mano was out the door, causing Ray to turn back to him.
“Here.” He answered as if it was the most obvious thing in the world and you automatically braced yourself, thinking that Oscar was going to object.
But instead, he only sniffed, pulling a hand over his mouth and chin and standing up, clearing his throat and walking out the front door, leaving you alone with his dad.
You knew he didn’t really want you, Lucía and his unborn baby around his dad, but you knew that he also knew that you would have to talk to him sooner or later, which you guessed was why he hadn’t forced you to come outside with him.
You hadn’t expected Ray to actually speak to you so when he did, you were surprised.
“He really hates me, huh?” He asked, looking down at his hands where he was fiddling with his fingers.
“No.” The word slipped out before you could help yourself, causing him to look up at you. “He loves you. A bit too much, if you ask me.”
You hadn’t meant for the words to come out as harsh as they did, but in retrospect, he deserved nothing better, something he seemed to know.
“I deserve that.” He agreed with your thoughts, giving you a somber look.
“You do. He’s really hurt and has every right to be. But you know…” You trailed off, swallowing and shrugging your shoulders gently. “It’s not too late. If you stay, he might forgive you someday in the future. It’s going to take a long time and you’ll really have to work for it, but I wouldn’t rule it out.”
He listened to you intently. You could really see how concentrated he was on your words and you appreciated the fact that he was actually partaking in the conversation you were having.
He nodded his head slowly, spacing out for a moment, but then pulled himself back to reality and waved a hand at your stomach.
“How far along are you?” He asked, and automatically, your face instantly lit up in a wide smile.
“I’m due in a month.”
His lips stretched into a smile of his own, although much smaller. “Congrats.” He congratulated and you nodded in thanks as he kept talking. “What about the other one? Lucy? Where is she?”
“Lucía.” You corrected, motioning with a hand down the hall. “She’s still asleep so you’ll meet her later.”
A hesitant expression crossed over his face. “You think Oscar would be okay with that?”
You understood his worries because you knew for a fact that Oscar wouldn’t be happy about it, but you still offered him a comforting smile. “If you’re staying here, I don’t really think he’s got much of a choice. She’s curious so she wouldn’t stay away from you even if we told her to.”
He hummed, nodding his head toward you again, this time looking at the ring at your finger. “You married?”
Without even noticing it, you began twisting the golden ring around your finger. “No. Not yet.” You replied. “We’ve been engaged for five years but it’s not the right time for a wedding, you know, with the Santos and everything going on. But I hope, someday.”
“But the timing was right for a kid?” He asked and his face pulled into one of regret almost instantly. “Sorry. I didn’t mean to be rude.”
But you took no offense to it, simply shaking your head. “It wasn’t planned and we would have rather waited until we had a more secure life going, but…” You paused, smiling gently as you remember how happy Oscar had gotten when you gave him the news. “When I got pregnant there wasn’t much else to do but go through with it because getting an abortion wasn’t an option for neither of us.”
“Do you know what gender it is?” Ray motioned for your stomach once more and again, you shook your head.
“No, Oscar wants it to be a surprise.” You told him.
He nodded, eyes flickering between your stomach and your face. “What are you hoping for?”
You snorted, rubbing your hands over your stomach gently. “I would like a boy for a change but Oscar is hoping for another girl.” You told him, rolling your eyes. “He thinks the risk of him fucking them up, the risk of them walking in his footsteps down the wrong road, is smaller if they’re girls.”
A part of you thought the logic behind his reasoning was nothing but ridiculous, but another part understood the pressure of giving them a better life than he was given.
“I didn’t have a good dad and I ended up the way I did because of him.” Ray told you then. “I never thought I’d be a good dad and I wasn’t, and it’s because of that Oscar ended up the way he did. But it’s not too late for him, to turn things around.”
He was unsure of himself as he spoke and the closer you looked at him, the easier it became to identify the shame behind his eyes. You knew he didn’t deserve your sympathy, but you couldn’t help it.
You tried your hardest to push the feeling of secondhand sorrow to the back of your head, almost feeling like you were betraying Oscar just by feeling it.
“I know.” You agreed with a small smile and he nodded.
“Do you think he knows?”
“He does.” You confirmed, shrugging your shoulders with a sad smile. “He just has to deal with it in his own time.”
Ray hummed, averting his eyes from you and looking around the room. “He’s lucky to have you to guide him. You seem to love him and Cesar a lot.”
“I do. More than anything.” You said and he turned back to look at you with an awkward glance.
“That’s good.” He said. “They both need someone like you in their lives, to keep them away from the bad stuff.”
“Well, Oscar was already mixed up with it when I met him but I’m doing my best to prevent him from getting stuck in it too deep. And as for Cesar, you’d catch me dead before I let him get caught up in any of it.”
You thought back to when Cuchillos had wanted Cesar jumped out of the Santos when he had failed his task to kill Latrell.
Because of a lot of yelling from your side, Oscar had agreed not to push him away, but you weren’t sure he would have done the same if you hadn’t been there.
Either way, going against Cuchillos put a lot of heat on all of you, especially Oscar. They were forced to make up their debt by setting the Prophets up with the money the Santos had robbed from a bank the week before and get them all arrested.
So that was one gang gone from the streets, and it had been pretty quiet since, but now you heard rumors about the kids from 19th Street going around to all of the business on their block, threatening people into paying them rent, which was a new problem in itself.
But you were sure Oscar had it under control. They may have been violent, but they were just kids, most of them no older than fifteen.
If there was anything you had learned from analyzing the other kids in the system while you had still been there, it was that the cause of anger most of the times found its source in them wanting one thing and one thing only; security, which could be used to bargain with them.
It would have been harder if they had been older. Then, they most likely wouldn’t have been after anything in particular, just power, like the Prophets had been.
Getting them off the streets had cleared Oscar and Cesar’s debt with Cuchillos but she was still hanging on his ass, more than she had been before. She was doubting the extents he would go to in order to make sure she was happy, a problem she hadn’t been having before he met you and had a child.
It was constantly unsafe for you and Lucía to go outside and if Oscar got to choose, you wouldn’t have been going outside at all. But you refused to be caged inside like some animal and he knew that both Lucía and you needed the fresh air and human interaction, so he had no other choice but to allow it.
He felt a bit safer with the Santos keeping a watchful eye over you whenever you went anywhere.
You had all heard rumors about the previous generation of Santos turning their back on one of their own some years ago but luckily, this generation of Santos were more loyal to each other than to Cuchillos.
They loved you like you were family and would do anything to keep you safe.
“He’s a good kid. Cesar.” Ray nodded his head, pulling you out of your thoughts and back to the conversation you had almost forgetting you were still in the middle of.
You nodded your head, returning your gaze to him. “He is.” You confirmed. “He’s got a lot of potential. Both of them do, even if Oscar thinks his is long gone.”
His lips twitched every so lightly at your words, his heart unbeknownst to you swelling with pride. But before either of you could say anything else, the sound of a light cry broke through the air.
Both yours and Ray’s heads instantly turned toward the hallway leading to yours and Oscar’s bedroom, and you wasted no time in moving to stand up at the sound of your daughter’s intensifying cries.
She could get extremely confused and disoriented when she woke up alone so you wanted to get to her as quickly as you possibly could.
But getting out of the low couch was easier said than done when you were heavily pregnant. Luckily, twelve years in prison didn’t seem to have stolen all of Ray’s manners, the older man wasting no time in wordlessly standing up and offering you his hands.
You took them gratefully, thanking him softly under your breath and allowing him to pull you to your feet.
“I’ll be right back.” You told him, offering him a last smile before waddling past him and in the direction of your bedroom.
You held on to the wall for support as you walked, reaching your destination in no time despite the slow pace you were forced to walk at. Pushing the door open, Lucía’s cries instantly quietened down as she found your form in the doorway.
She was still lying in the exact same position that you had left her in; turned towards the door with her thumb in her mouth, only now her eyes were wide open and glassy, staring back at you.
“Good morning, baby.” You greeted her as you walked inside, and she wasted no time in shuffling up in the bed.
You walked past her and directly to the windows, pulling the blinds up to let the sunshine into the dark room. Turning back around, you found her shielding her eyes with her arms, sitting on the edge of the low bed, if that’s even what you could call it.
It was just a thick mattress on the floor, without an actual bedframe. Oscar had taken the frame down and gotten rid of it the second he got home from prison, claiming it was too dangerous for Lucía to be sleeping that high up without any kind of fence at the sides.
You didn’t enjoy sleeping so far down to the floor, especially not now when you were pregnant and could barely stand up by yourself, but you hadn’t stopped him, allowing him to be a father for the first time in three years.
Lucía let out a small whimper, rubbing her eyes and getting off the bed, walking over to you. She held her arms out, her blue comfort blanket hanging from one of her hands, and you gave her a sad look.
“You know mommy can’t carry you, baby.” You told her, putting a hand on top of her head. “My stomach is in the way.”
You pulled a hand through her messy, black curls, breathing out in relief when she simply sniffed and lowered her arms again rather than throwing a fit.
It would seem you had caught her on a good day, much to your luck as you knew her meeting with Ray would have been chaotic to say the least if she would have been in a bad mood.
Taking her hand, you wordlessly led her out of the room, taking it slow so that her short legs could keep up with you. When you walked back into the living room, Ray was still standing in the middle of the room, now facing you and appearing to have been waiting for your return.
Once he caught sight of Lucía, a flurry of emotions instantly flickered through his eyes and face, but the second she caught sight of him, she stopped right in her step, cowering behind your leg.
Still holding her hand, you were forced to stop with her, and you looked down at her. “You want to say hello?” You questioned, watching as she shook her head and hid even further behind your legs.
But Ray didn’t seem to take it personally, staying in his spot to not frighten her and smiling softly to himself.
“Shy.” He pointed out, and as that word would be the last one you would use to describe your daughter, you laughed.
“She won’t be when she wakes up properly so I’d brace myself already if I were you.” You warned him, looking down as Lucía stepped out from behind your legs, tugging at your hand and cautious eyes never leaving Ray’s form.
Despite your back and every muscle in your body screaming at you not to, you bent down and picked her up, grateful that she wasn’t very heavy. Once she was secured on your hip, she wrapped her arms around your neck and carefully dared to peak through her curls at Ray, who was now walking closer.
“Es bella.” He complimented his granddaughter, smiling as he pointed a finger at his eyes. “Has Oscar’s eyes. And his curls, too.”
“Yeah, she does.” You chuckled, looking at her. “She didn’t get much from me.”
Ray watched you as you brought a hand up to her face and pulled a curl away from her face, the strand of hair wet with the tears still fresh on her cheeks.
“Is he a good dad?” He asked, causing you to look up at him as he shrugged. “Better than me, I mean.”
“The best. He would do anything for her.” You smiled. “She loves him to pieces, almost never leaves him alone.”
Lucía sucked on her thumb, looking up at you with big eyes. “Quiero a papa.” She mumbled out, her light voice muffled.
At her words, you raised an eyebrow at Ray, who was now smiling in amusement. “You see?” You questioned, before turning your attention back to her. “Let’s go tell daddy you’re awake, yeah?”
She buried her face in the crook of your shoulder in agreement and you turned your attention back to Ray. After him asking you to use the shower and you pointing him in the right direction of the towel cabinet, you bid him goodbye for now and headed outside with Lucía still in your arms.
You spotted Oscar at the driveway immediately, his body bent down and head hidden beneath the hood of his car, hands working away on something inside.
A smile grazed your lips at the sweet sight of his tan arms under the sunlight and Lucía looked up the second the familiar sound of a wrench being twisted reached her ears.
“Papá!” She squealed out, instantly drawing the attention of Oscar. His lips turned up and he dropped the wrench, wiping his hands off on a red rag before kneeling down and opening his arms.
Lucía immediately started twisting her body in your arms, wanting to be put down, and you gladly granted her wish and put her down on her feet, having to stop on the porch for a moment to stretch your aching back.
While you did so, you watched with a smile as Lucía ran into Oscar’s arms, who in turn wasted no time in picking her up against his chest. “¿Dormiste bien?” He asked her, and you waddled your way down the steps of the porch to approach them.
Lucía nodded to answer his question, not very talkative when she had just woken up, and Oscar brought his hand up to the back of her head, pressing a kiss to her forehead and mumbling fondly against her skin. “Mi princesita.”
His eyes drifted over to you when he saw you approaching then, your hand covering your face from the bright sun.
“Did you talk to him?” He nodded at you, wasting no time in cutting to the chase.
You hummed in response, standing up on your tippy-toes in order to press a kiss to his cheek. “Yeah.” You answered honestly, feeling his eyes on the side of your face as you switched your attention to Lucía where she was resting her head against Oscar’s shoulder.
“What did he say?” Oscar asked, and you answered simply.
“Stuff.”
“What kind of stuff?” He questioned again and this time you turned to look at him.
“Just stuff.” You smiled, bringing your hand up to his cheek. “Don’t worry about it.” You pulled him down to be able to press your lips to his in a sweet kiss, but the second you pulled apart again, he went right back to interrogating you.
“Did Luci talk to him?” He asked, his face now turned into a glare.
You shook your head, dropping your hand from his face with a sigh when you realized you wouldn’t be able to cure his foul mood right then, not that you blamed him for being angry in the first place. “No. She’s still drowsy from waking up so she was a bit shy. She didn’t cry though so that’s a good sign.”
He hummed, turning his attention to Lucía. When he looked at her, she brought her head up from his chest and stared right back, her nose scrunching up when he brought his hand up to her face to move a strand of hair that had stuck to her cheek, just like you had done minutes before.
After making sure her face was free from hair, he turned back to you, looking you up and down and nodding his head slightly when he reached your feet. “Your shoelace is up.”
You looked down at his words, finding that the shoelace of your left Nike shoe was, in fact, undone. But before you could even think about trying to tie it yourself, not that you would have been able to, he had put Lucía down on her feet and gone down on one knee, lifting your foot up to his thigh.
“I got it.” He told you simply, tying your laces up in no time. When he dropped your foot back down and stood up, an uncomfortable pain suddenly went through your stomach, forcing a gasp out of your lips.
Oscar was alerted immediately, watching as your hands automatically went to your stomach. “What’s wrong?” He asked, his entire attitude turning serious and his hands coming to rest on top of yours,
“Nothing.” You quickly answered, smiling as you got used to the uncomfortable feeling. “He’s just kicking. Here, give me your hand.”
Without waiting for a reply, you moved your hands from underneath his and grabbed his wrist, moving it to the place where your baby was kicking the hardest.
“She’s kicking.” He corrected you with a small glare while you moved his hand around, causing you to roll your eyes and drop his wrist.
“You always have to ruin the moment, don’t you?”
“No, espera.” He said as you began moving away from his touch, moving right after you in order to keep his hands on your stomach.
You smirked at him, shaking your head. “Too late now, papi. She stopped kicking.” You turned to Lucía, holding your hand out. “Come on, mija. Let’s go.”
Oscar watched as she took your outstretched hand and stood at your side, narrowing his eyes slightly. “Where are you going?” He questioned, and even though there would never be a day when you weren’t thankful for his protection, you rolled your eyes at the defensive tone in his voice.
“We’re taking a walk to the store.” You told him. “The fridge is nearly empty and we need to stock up on food now that we’ve got another mouth to feed.”
“He can pay for his own damn food.” Oscar quickly spat, eyes turning hard. “You’re not his sirvienta.”
“Oscar.” You warned with a glare of your own. “Don’t lose your temper in front of her.” You instinctively pushed your daughter further behind your leg to shield her from Oscar’s murderous face.
He turned his head to the side the second your words reached his ears, taking a deep breath through his nose and calming himself down before turning back around. His face was still cold and guarded, but not nearly as furious as it had been a few seconds ago.
“Be careful.” He ordered you softly, one of his hands finding its way to the top of Lucía’s head while the other rested on your belly. He leaned his head down and pressed a kiss to your forehead. “I love you, amores míos.”
“We love you, too.” You smiled, squeezing his hand with yours.
He pulled away from you after another two quick kisses and turned to Lucía, raising a playful eyebrow at her. “Sé bueno para tu madre, ¿de acuerdo?” He held his pinky finger out and she hooked her much smaller one with his, taking her thumb out of her mouth.
“Prometo.” She answered with a toothy grin.
“Good girl.” He ruffled her hair, chuckling in amusement as her face pulled into a glare, her small hands trying to swat his hand away.
Turning back to you, he gave you a chaste kiss to the lips. “I’ll see you soon.” He said, giving your stomach one last caress before turning back to the car, allowing you and Lucía to walk away and head for the store.
Being pregnant was always one huge dilemma. Your ankles were constantly swollen and your back felt like it was about to snap in two pretty much all of the time. But in order for your ankles not to get even more swollen and for your back not to get even more stiff, you had to walk around pretty much all day, which was never free of pain.
Luckily, you lived pretty close to the store you usually shopped at and the store in question was still on Santos territory which you knew was the only reason that Oscar let you and Lucía walk there alone.
His boys all lived spread out through the same neighborhood as you did and when they weren’t out patrolling or participating in illegal activities, they were always sitting out on their lawns or porches, watching over the street and by doing so, also watching over you.
The walk that would have taken no longer than five minutes for anyone else took about fifteen for you.
Not only could you not walk very quickly with the extra weight you were carrying around and with Lucía’s short legs, but now that she had fully woken up, her usual overly social personality had come back to the surface, pretty much forcing her to stop and greet every neighbor who happened to be outside. And let’s not even talk about the many times she spotted an animal.
It was safe to say that it took a while for you to reach your destination and you were sure that if Oscar hadn’t known how his daughter functioned when she was out in the world, he would have come after you, worried out of his mind, a long time ago.
But he was very well aware of how she functioned. After all, he had gotten used to it before she was even born, her absentmindedness and tendency to get easily distracted being pretty much the only thing she had inherited from you.
Everything else about her; her looks, her temper, the energy that never seemed to run out and her charm, came from him. It was truly like looking at a mini Spooky.
Nearly an entire hour had passed before you were turning back onto your street, Lucía’s hand clasped in yours and your other hand holding two plastic bags full of groceries.
Rather than her thumb being in her mouth, she was now happily sucking away on a blue lollipop, her mouth sticky with a mixture of the sugary goodness and ketchup from the hot dog you had bought her for a late breakfast on your way home.
You had tried to wipe it away but she had pretty much refused to let you touch her, too eager to chase after a squirrel, so you let it go, deciding you would just give her a shower when returning home instead.
It was an as good time as ever as she was still dressed in yesterday’s clothes, having fallen asleep in them the night before and both you and Oscar having been too tired to even notice it.
While eating her lollipop, Lucía was looking around the street with a wide smile on her face, waving to every person she laid eyes on, while you were keeping your gaze forward.
You could see Oscar still working on the car in the driveway of your house in the distance, but now Ray was standing beside him, motioning to the car while Oscar kept his focus on the engine.
As you got closer, you could hear Ray laughing as he said something.
You could make out the exact words but whatever he said made Oscar snap because the next thing you knew, he slammed the hood shut and got up in Ray’s face, who was now looking down into the ground.
When seeing the all but peaceful behavior, you pulled at the back of Lucía´s shirt gently, urging her to stop.
“Hold on, baby. Let’s wait this out, yeah?” You smiled down at her, and although she hadn’t noticed her dad and Ray fighting yet and had no idea what you were talking about, she happily nodded and sat down on the sidewalk, patting the asphalt beside her in a way that made your heart melt in your chest.
She was so used to you having to take small breaks every so often by now that she never even questioned it anymore.
You couldn’t deny it felt nice for your feet to sit down for a moment, but your heart was still heavy in your chest as you listened to the conversation taking place in the distance while Lucía cluelessly played with your bracelets beside you, caught up in her own world.
“Let’s get something straight. You can come back here and pretend to be a father. But I know what’s up.” You listened intently as Oscar spoke to his dad, watching out of the corner of your eye as he raised a hand to motion to the house. “Cesar. He’s been through a lot of shit lately. So I’ll let him live under this delusion. For now. And let’s not even talk about my girls. If it were up to me you wouldn’t even be allowed to be in the same room as them, but (Y/N) wants to give you a chance because you’re their Abuelo, so you better not fuck this up.”
Oscar glared at Ray and took a step back, wiping his hands on the red rag as he walked around the car toward the fence.
“Does Cesar hate me?”
Oscar stopped at the sound of his dad’s question, looking back at him and scoffing. “He’s never even talked about you.” He answered with pure hatred, before turning back around and disappearing behind the red fence to the backyard.
Only then did you and Lucía stand up and keep walking, not wanting her to witness any conflict. Ray turned around at the sound of your footsteps, his eyes catching sight of you, and when his gaze flickered down to Lucía by your side, he hurried to drop the cigarette he was smoking and waved the smoke away with his hands.
No matter how bad he had treated Oscar and Cesar in the past, you could admit that it was decent of him to care for Oscar’s wishes about not smoking around her and actually seem to care about her wellbeing.
He started walking toward you to meet you halfway and wasted no time in reaching for the bags of groceries in your hand. ”Let me help you.”
“Thank you.” You thanked him, using your now free hand to support your belly as you walked up in front of the house.
Once entering, Lucía ran past the two of you toward the kitchen island where she climbed up on the barstool she had claimed as her own a long time ago, watching you as you followed.
Ray put the bag down on the island in front of her and her eyes were instantly on him.
“What’s your name?” Her small voice came before either of you could even think about saying anything else, followed by the sound of the hard lollipop hitting against her teeth.
A shocked expression took over Ray’s face for a moment, not having expected her to talk to him so soon. But you had warned him.
“Ray.” He answered after taking a moment to collect himself, watching the small girl with a fond expression.
Lucía stared right back at him with curious eyes, squinting them and tilting her head to the side slightly, just like Oscar would do.
You put a hand on top of her head as you passed her, smiling. “Él es tu Abuelo.” You told her and she instantly held her pinky out.
“Mucho gusto.”
Ray raised his eyebrows, glancing at you as if asking you what to do. You held up your own pinky behind her at that, silently showing him to hook his with hers, and he did just that, turning his attention back to her.
“Nice to meet you, too.” He said politely, watching as she then turned her attention to a magazine that was laying on the countertop. In turn, he moved his attention to you, pointing out. “You’re teaching her Spanish.”
You nodded, beginning to busy yourself with unpacking one of the bags. “Yeah. Or, well, Oscar is.” You chuckled. “Almost seven years together and I still don’t know much. I can understand it, though.”
“Better than nothing.” Ray praised you awkwardly and moved to unpack the second bag, to which you offered him a grateful smile.
“Do you like ice cream?” Lucía then spoke again, causing you both to turn back to her while continuing to unload the groceries onto the counter.
“I love ice cream.” Ray answered, causing her to smile.
“Me too.” She said happily, her body moving where she sat as she kicked her legs under the counter.
Ray nodded while you went around his back to start putting things into the fridge. “What’s your favourite flavor?” He asked, passing you objects over his shoulder in a fluid pace without breaking eye-contact with the smaller girl.
Her smile widened at the question and she took the lollipop out of her mouth in order to flash him a charming grin. “Chocolate chip cookie!” She exclaimed proudly and as you rounded Ray to keep taking things out of the bag, you noticed his eyebrows shooting up.
“Mine too.” He admitted and Lucía gasped.
“Twins!”
You bit the inside of your cheek to keep yourself from laughing out loud. Her bubbly personality in comparison to his pretty much opposite one was so comical to you for some reason. But Ray didn’t hold it in, chuckling at her as he continued to help you with the groceries.
Before any of you could spark up another conversation, the sound of the front door opening reached your ears. Expecting to see Oscar, you were surprised to instead see the younger Diaz brother walking inside, bag slung over his shoulder.
Your eyes instantly shot up, but he only greeted you with a smile, grinning even wider when his eyes caught sight of Ray standing beside you.
“What are you doing home already?” You wasted no time in asking, crunching the now empty bag together into a ball with your hands.
Cesar dropped his bag on the counter once he reached you and leaned in to kiss your cheek like he always did when greeting you.
“Our teacher got sick last minute and they couldn’t find a sub.” He informed you and you hummed, watching as he turned to Lucía.
“Hug, tío.” She held her arms out and he bent down to give her a hug without protest, attacking her cheek with kisses.
She giggled, holding on to him tighter, and you instantly moved in to pull them apart when seeing her lollipop dangerously close to his hair. “Watch your uncle’s hair, Lucía.” You told her as you carefully moved her hand away.
Cesar pulled a hand over the back of his head to check for any stickiness as he stood back up to his full height but didn’t seem very bothered as he locked his pinky with hers, grinning widely at her before turning to Ray.
He suddenly turned shy, shifting on his feet. “Are you free right now? I was thinking we could go over to Dwayne’s Joint and grab some lunch. My friend’s dad is the owner and I work there sometimes so I eat for free. The food there is amazing.”
Ray glanced at you, almost as if to ask permission, and when you gave him an encouraging nod and smile, he turned to his youngest and smiled awkwardly. “Sure, I could eat.” He agreed and Cesar instantly lit up.
“Great. Let’s go.”
“Have fun.” You told them as Ray began rounding you.
Cesar reached over and gave you a quick side-hug, followed by an even quicker kiss to the cheek, obviously excited beyond words to finally get to spend some time with his dad. “I’ll be home to help with dinner later.” He promised.
You only smiled, accepting the brief affection with a smile on your face. “Don’t worry about it, it’s still early. You’ve got time.”
The teenage boy flashed you a final grin, showing off his pearly whites, before the two of them bid you and Lucía goodbye and left, leaving you and your daughter alone.
Looking to her, you noticed she had now finished the lollipop, the stick laying on the magazine beside her, and that she was now looking up at you with big, questioning eyes.
“Can I go draw?” She asked, and you smiled, nodding.
“Of course.” You replied, picking the lollipop stick up from the magazine and heading over to the trash bin. You could hear her getting down from the chair behind you and you turned around, pointing a finger at her. “But go wash your mouth first.”
She only looked at you, giggling before running away. You stood still, listening intently until you heard the tap turn on in the bathroom, only then moving again.
“You best friends with my dad now?”
You jumped at the sound of the sudden voice speaking up from behind you, one hand going for your heart and the other going directly to your stomach. Turning around, you found Oscar now leaning against the edge of the kitchen island. You hadn’t even heard him come inside.
“Shit, Oscar.” You swore, leaning back against the sink as you attempted to calm your beating heart, glaring at him. “You know you can’t scare me like that.”
He nodded slowly, uncrossing his arms from over his chest and pushing himself off the island, approaching you. “Sorry.” He apologized lowly, placing a hand on your stomach. “¿Estás bien?”
You released a breath through your nose, looking up at him. “Yeah, but you near gave me a heart attack.” You told him, eyes pointed. “You know the doctor said scaring me isn’t good for the baby.”
Taking you into his arms, he nuzzled his face into your neck, pressing his lips against the skin in the crook where your neck met your shoulders. “I didn’t mean to.” He mumbled, voice coming out muffled as he placed another kiss on the spot.
“I know you didn’t.” You hummed, wrapping your arms around his neck and dragging your fingers over the back of his head. “It’s fine.”
He pressed a third kiss to your skin before bringing his head back up, looking at you with absolutely no emotion on his face. “I don’t want you being around him. I don’t want Lucía around him.” He stated flatly, and you knew exactly who he was talking about.
“He’s her grandfather.” You defended, your voice becoming hushed so that she wouldn’t hear you talking and a glare settling over your face.
He met your glare with one of his own. “I don’t want her to get attached.” He did nothing to hide the loathing behind his words, but despite being angry he kept rubbing soothing circles on your waist and stomach.
“You’re not the only one who gets to make decisions regarding our daughter. I’m her parent, too.” You pointed out. “I’m not his biggest fan either and you know it, but I’m not going to alienate her from him like he’s got the plague. We’re all going to be living under the same room and for her sake we have to make the best of the situation.”
Oscar’s eyes closed with annoyance and he breathed out harshly through his nose, his hands stilling their previous movements at your sides. He leaned his forehead against yours and pressed a long, hard kiss to your lips, before turning around without another word and heading for the bathroom.
He clearly didn’t agree with anything you had just said but he still knew your relationship was more important than being petty and never left you on a bad note, which was one of the many, many reasons that you loved him as much as you did.
You were left alone in the kitchen when he disappeared, but not even a minute later you could hear his voice yell out through the entire house.
“SHIT!”
Your pregnancy hormones had completely control over your body and worry instantly filled your body, causing you to imagine the worst and forcing your feet to carry you across the room toward the bathroom as quickly as they could.
“What’s wrong? What happened?” You yelled out as you waddled through the hallway, appearing in the bathroom doorway only a few seconds later.
You instantly allowed yourself to let go of the breath you hadn’t known that you were holding when seeing that Oscar wasn’t hurt, laughter quickly bubbling up in your throat and escaping your lips in soft chuckles.
Oscar turned to look at you with a glare. “You think this shit is funny?” He asked, hurrying to turn off the tap that was running on full capacity.
Bringing a hand to your mouth in a failed attempt to hide your laughter, you shook your head, taking in the way his feet were now soaked in the water that had collected on the floor.
In the sink laid a white towel, having prevented the water from going down the drain and given the water no other choice but to spill over the edges.
You struggled to hold back the snickers at the sight of him walking around in the water, his socks hanging off at his toes with the added weight.
With the laughter still caught in your throat, you turned your head out to the hallway, yelling out. “Lucía! What have we told you about leaving the towel in the sink?”
“And turning off the fucking tap!” Oscar joined in, his voice shaking the walls.
You stepped over the threshold and walked into the bathroom, happy you weren’t wearing socks and slapped his chest while giving him a pointed glare. “Don’t curse at her.” You scolded, and he simply met your glare with one of his own as Lucía’s voice came from down the hall.
“Sorry!”
The sound of her voice instantly made Oscar’s glare fall, but he still pulled an annoyed and tired hand over his face, reaching out to grab a dry towel from a shelf.
“I’ll help you.” You wasted no time in trying to round him to get to the shelf, but he caught you by your upper arms, stopping you and letting out a sigh.
“No, I got it.” He insisted. “It’s not even noon and you’ve already moved around more than you did all day yesterday. You shouldn’t put too much pressure on yourself, mami.”
He was in a bad mood and had every right to considering the circumstances. Not only had his dad just returned, pretending as if he hadn’t been gone for twelve entire years but now he had to clean up after his irresponsible daughter, too.
You raised your hand to his face, pressing it against the line of his jaw and turning his head toward yours. Without saying anything, you pressed your lips to his, feeling him let out another breath through his nose, his body slowly but surely relaxing under your touch.
Breaking apart, you kept your hand on his cheek, searching his eyes.
“I love you.” You told him sincerely, watching as his eyes closed and feeling his hands come to rest on your waist, the situation at hand and the mess around you momentarily forgotten as you held each other.
“I love you too, mamas.” He replied, leaning down to steal another kiss before pulling apart with a sigh, looking around at the mess he would be left with.
You caressed the corner of his lip as he looked around, bringing your other hand up to touch the cross hanging around his neck. “Can you give Lucía a bath once you’re done?” You asked and he nodded.
“Yeah.” He turned to look at you again. “Did she eat?”
You hummed in response to his question, confirming it. “She ate a hot dog on the way home from the store, hence the need for a shower.” You chuckled, looking around. “I doubt she actually got any of the ketchup off her face. Mostly looks like she made a mess in here.”
“A mess?” He raised an unimpressed eyebrow, letting go of your waist and taking a step back, the water splashing around his feet. “We have an indoor pool.”
“Yeaaah…” You drawled, laughter once again bubbling up in your throat. Your eyes flickered to the floor for a second before going back up to meet Oscar’s, your hand laying a light slap to his cheek. “Have fun cleaning this up, baby.”
You leaned in and placed a last kiss to his lips before turning around and heading back out toward the doorway, making sure to wipe your feet off on the threshold sill before stepping over it into the dry hallway.
“Puta…” You could hear Oscar muttering under his breath as you walked away and you grinned, yelling back over your shoulder.
“I heard that!”
“Good.” His voice came again, this time a lot closer to you, and before you had time to register what was happening, a sharp slap was delivered to your ass.
You squealed, almost jumping out of your own skin in surprise. “Oscar!” You scolded him, turning around to see him standing in the doorway with the towel twisted in his hand. How he had gotten there so fast without you hearing him stepping over the water you didn’t know, but you couldn’t keep the smile off your face.
He leaned his head out into the hallway and stole another kiss, giving you a smug smirk. “Go lay down, mami. I’ll deal with this shit.” He told you before closing himself into the bathroom, and you didn’t have to be told twice.
You shook your head, chuckling to yourself and rubbing your stinging butt while waddling back into the living room and heading directly for the couch.
Laying down, you let out a breath of relief as your back was stretched out and the pain slowly but surely started disappearing.
You grabbed a pillow and placed it over your face to block out the sunlight for the sake of your growing headache and just laid there, listening to your surroundings.
Outside the window right above you, you could hear doors of houses and cars opening and slamming shut. You could hear voices of kids yelling somewhere down the street and the wind that had been blowing through the window earlier that morning was still going strong judging by the sound of ruffling leaves.
A few minutes later of just lying there in silence, you could hear Oscar walking out of the bathroom and into Lucía’s room, talking to her in Spanish.
Another minute or two later, the sound of the bath filling and the bathroom door closing cut through the otherwise silent house and with a sigh, you decided that you were done resting.
No matter how nice it felt in your back to lay down, you hated doing nothing and didn’t want to waste any more time just lying around when there were plenty of things to be done around the house that you knew no one else would deal with.
So you stood up and wordlessly started moving around again, going around the house on a hunt for dirty dishes and bringing them with you to the kitchen where you dumped them in the sink for later.
You then began picking clothes and garbage off the floor, throwing the clothes in a hamper and the trash in a bag.
Going through the hallway with the hamper in one hand and the trash bag in the other, you checked through every room and cleaned up where it was needed.
Cesar’s room was the one at the end of the hallway and you braced yourself, also knowing that it was always the messiest.
You weren’t one to complain about what state in which he left his room; he had his space and you had yours, and as long as the door remained closed to that you didn’t have to look at his mess, you didn’t care.
But on the rare occasion, like now, where you had nothing better to do, you would head in and clean it as well as you possibly could without violating his privacy and going through his private things.
You had learned the hard way that he got extremely defensive about his things and his privacy so after that first time, you hadn’t made the mistake of snooping again, even though it had been by accident that you had found an open condom wrapper on his desk.
That was the first and only time he had ever yelled at you, something Oscar had given him shit for later, but you didn’t really take offense to it; you were only glad that you hadn’t found the condom.
While picking up dirty clothes and candy wrappers from Cesar’s floor, putting them in their respective bags, you looked around, taking in your surroundings.
The walls that had been white up until a few months ago were now spray-painted in blue and pink graffiti and on the wall right next to the doorway, a pinboard hung, holding drawings and a few pictures of Cesar with you, Oscar, Lucía and his friends, the one of him with Lucía being one of your favourite pictures.
Cesar’s arms were wrapped around her from behind, both of them smiling so widely it almost made your cheeks hurt by looking at. Lucía was holding an ice cream cone, her entire face covered in the treat, and she was wearing a yellow hat that had slid down over her eyes, hiding them from the camera.
You had taken it on one of the many days you had spent with them on the beach. It would have been perfect if Oscar had been there, but he had still been locked up at the time.
You smiled as you thought back to that day, remembering their laughter and how they had chased each other at the seashore, Lucía having been absolutely ecstatic when feeling the water at her feet.
With one last look at the photograph, you evened it out so that it wasn’t crooked before continuing to clean up on the floor.
Once all of the trash was in the bag and all of the dirty clothes were in the hamper, you folded the clothes you knew were clean and put them into his drawer, then moving on to make his bed and tidy his desk up a bit.
The carpet needed to be vacuumed and the surfaces in his room were in a pretty desperate need of a dusting and scrub, but you decided to put a pin in it, knowing it wouldn’t be very long until he got back home and probably wouldn’t want you in his room when he did.
Closing the door behind you when you left, you headed for the closed bathroom door and put the trash bag on the floor to be able to open the door, still holding on to the now full hamper at your side.
As the door slid open, you were immediately graced by the sight of Oscar’s naked back where he was crouched down by the side of the bathtub, his arms holding his body upright on the edge.
The tiles on the floor were now dry and the washing machine was spinning like crazy, Oscar appearing to have started a load with the towels he had used to clean up Lucía’s mess, which instantly made a smile rise to your lips.
You approached him from the back, Lucía becoming visible over his shoulder as you got closer. She was playing with a blue rubber duck, making quacking noises and repeatedly moving the duck toward Oscar in an attempt to make him join in on the quacking.
He obviously didn’t and it was appearing to make her grow agitated, her quacking becoming more aggressive by every second passing.
You chuckled to yourself and decided to have some fun as Oscar had yet to notice your presence, the sound of your entrance being swallowed by the loud noise coming from the shaking washing machine.
You closed in on him sneakily, putting the hamper down to the side before slowly leaning down to his head.
You stayed there for a moment, just looking from over his shoulder as he rippled his hand through the water to create waves for Lucía’s duck, before blowing on his ear and whispering a quiet; “Quack.”
“Mierda!” He jumped to his feet instantly and you had to hurry to back away in order to not be smacked right across the face, laughter instantly spilling out from your lips.
Lucía, now having spotted you, wasted no time in joining in on the laughter even though she most likely didn’t even know what was so funny, while Oscar glared at you.
“¿Qué te pasa?” He asked, furious. “I could have hit you.” He motioned for your stomach, but you only laughed, not being able to take the situation seriously.
“For someone who’s been on the run from the law for most of his life, you’re not very attentive.” You pointed out and he pinched the bridge of his nose, taking a deep breath before taking one step forward and tugging you by your arm into his chest.
You rested your head on his chest, wrapping your arms around his torso. Above you, his eyes spotted the hamper filled to the top with dirty laundry.
At the sight of it, he moved his head away from on top of yours and raised an eyebrow at you. “I thought I told you to rest.” He said and you sheepishly smiled. “You never listen, do you?”
“Mommy never listens.” Lucía joined in from the bathtub, causing the two of you to turn around and look at her.
Oscar threw his head back as he laughed while you only narrowed your eyes at your daughter. “Are you ganging up on me now?” You questioned, and in response, she narrowed her eyes to imitate you, only causing Oscar to grow even smugger.
He reached his hand out toward her, pinky out, and Lucía moved to the edge of the tub, hooking her pinky with his.
You tutted at the sight playfully. “Like father, like daughter.” You teased, and walked back out of the bathroom, leaving them alone to their quality bath time again.
You grabbed the bag with trash from the floor outside and closed the door to the bathroom, heading over to the kitchen where you dumped the bag of trash in the bin before moving on to clean off the coffee table and make up the sofa with pillows and blankets for Ray to sleep with.
Just as you got done, Lucía and Oscar emerged from the bathroom, a cloud of steam flowing out behind them after the shower Oscar appeared to have taken by the look of his fresh clothes.
He was now wearing a black and grey checkered plaid and a pair of grey sweats that weren’t soaked in water at the ends and Lucía was dressed in her Winnie The Pooh bathrobe, the hood with ears on top pulled over her wet curls.
She wasted no time in getting up on a chair at the kitchen table, short legs starting to kick as soon as she had sat down.
While she got situated over there, Oscar walked over to the fridge by the couch where he kept the alcohol, bending down and opening the door. Before he got the chance to grab what he came for, however, Lucía called out from her spot.
“Bring me my crayons.”
It wasn’t particularly directed at him, but Oscar still closed the fridge again and stood back up to his full height, not saying a word as he left to her room to bid to her command.
While he did so, you grabbed the bottle-opener from the kitchen island and waddled over to the fridge, grabbing a cold bottle of Corona just as Oscar returned with Lucía’s crayons and coloring books.
When hearing him return, she stood up on her chair and Oscar put the things down in front of her before taking her in his arms and sitting down on the chair with her in his lap.
She wasted no time in digging into her crayons and you walked over to them, opening the bottle of beer on the way there.
At the sound of the cap releasing from the throat of the bottle, Oscar looked up, and reached out and grabbed it from your hands the second you got close enough, raising it to his lips and taking a sip immediately.
Once he brought it back down from his lips, you bent down and wrapped your arms around his shoulders from behind, pressing your lips to the tattoo on his neck.
“Gracias.” He thanked you for the beer, turning his head to the side to capture your lips with his in a kiss.
You weren’t sure when the time went from noon to afternoon, but soon enough, the sun was setting outside and Ray and Cesar were walking through the front door, talking loudly and laughing between themselves.
Oscar was still sitting with Lucía at the table, sipping on his beer slowly and watching over her as she colored in her books.
You had started on the cooking only a few minutes ago, standing over by the kitchen island chopping onions for the guacamole you were making, and you could almost feel the entire atmosphere turning hostile when ray stepped in through the door, Oscar’s anger radiating off of him and reaching you all the way where you stood in the kitchen.
But he ignored him, keeping his eyes on Lucía’s drawing and taking a large gulp of his beer while Cesar walked over to them and pinched Lucía’s cheek, causing her to let out a gleeful laugh.
The sound brought a smile to everyone’s lips, even Oscar’s, who raised his head to greet his brother with a fist-bump.
Cesar then walked right past you where you stood and headed for his room, while Ray cautiously sat down across from Oscar and Lucía at the table.
“Pink, please.” Lucía spoke without looking up from her drawing, and Oscar did what he had been doing for the past hour and a half and handed her the crayon of her wishes, taking another gulp of his beer and completely ignoring Ray’s gaze.
She dragged the pink crayon over her drawing a few times before holding it up. “Blue, please.” She repeated herself, this time asking for another color, and Oscar wordlessly took the pink crayon and exchanged it for a blue, watching as she colored away in her book.
You tried to give father and son some privacy by busying yourself with chopping the onions, but since you were so close to them, you couldn’t miss the way Ray was desperately trying to search out his oldest son’s eye, and failing miserably.
“You’re good with her.” He finally spoke up, nodding his head and motioning with his hand carefully.
“Mm.” Oscar’s eyes didn’t leave the drawing, his lips pulled into a tight line as he simply hummed in response.
“Are you hoping for the baby to be a boy or a girl?” Ray tried again, and you watched out of the corner of your eye as Oscar brought the bottle of beer to his lips and down the rest of its content before slamming it down on the table, raising his hand at you over his shoulder, almost as if he knew that you were watching them.
“Girl.” He answered while you wiped your hands on the kitchen towel and rounded the kitchen island, heading for the fridge where you grabbed two beers this time.
You brought them over to the table they were sitting at and grabbed the opener where you had left it when bringing Oscar his first bottle, opening the two bottles and taking the sharp caps into your hand so that Lucía wouldn’t get to them.
“Why not a boy?” Ray questioned, glancing up at you briefly as you handed him one of the beers, nodding his head. “Thank you.”
You offered him a gentle smile before turning to Oscar, taking the empty bottle from beside him and handing him the new one.
He didn’t look up at you, but when you put a hand on his shoulder in passing, he put his hand on top of yours, squeezing it in thanks before you walked back to the kitchen.
Ray knew the answer to his question, of course, already having gotten it from you earlier that day. He just wanted to hear what he would answer himself, but he should have expected Oscar not to be willing to give much away.
“Less problems.” He answered flatly and this time, Ray didn’t question him any further, only nodding and leaning back in his seat, joining him in drinking while watching Lucía draw.
The house turned silent again, but Cesar chose the right time to come back right then, returning with a plastic bag in his hand.
You hadn’t seen it when he had first arrived, so you guessed he had carried it in his bag that he had now left in his room.
He held the bag up with a smile on his face, looking around at all of you. “We went by the store and got some ice cream on the way home.” He told you, and Lucía instantly perked up, turning in Oscar’s lap to look at Cesar.
Oscar turned too, narrowing his eyes. “Where’d you get money from?” He asked, and Cesar only shrugged.
“Dad paid.” He replied simply, walking over to the freezer where he brought the tub of ice cream out of the bag and put it inside.
You watched from your spot as Ray smiled at Lucía. “Chocolate chip cookie.” He told her, and she instantly squealed in excitement, turning to Oscar.
‘’Chocolate chip cookie!” She repeated happily, and he hummed.
“I heard.”
You glared at him from where you stood on the other side of the room and almost as if feeling your glare burning into the side of his head, he turned to glare right back at you.
You gave him a pointed look, silently scolding him for not being excited for your daughter’s sake, and when he turned his head back around, bringing his beer up to his lips again, you looked at Lucía who had now gone back to drawing.
“What do we say, Lucí?” You asked, and she looked up from her drawing to beam at Ray.
“Gracias!” She exclaimed, and Ray smiled, although it didn’t go unnoticed by you the way his eyes kept flickering to Oscar’s, his smile faltering ever so lightly when they did.
The subject was dropped after that. Oscar didn’t say another word but Lucía was as happy as ever that her Abuelo brought ice cream home for her.
While the two oldest Diaz men watched her draw, Cesar joined you in the kitchen, finally greeting you after having passed by you earlier.
He murmured a quick ‘hey’, leaning down to kiss your cheek in greeting before standing beside you, watching you chop the last of the onion.
“Did you clean my room?” He asked and you glanced at him with a soft smile, nodding your head.
“Yeah.” You answered, turning your attention back to the sharp knife in your hand. “But I didn’t snoop, I promise.”
He chuckled beside you. “It’s alright. Thank you.” He let out a breath and you glanced at him again to see his smile widening, his hands now moving to roll up his sleeves. “Can I help?”
You smiled, nodding your head. “Sure. You can start dicing the tomatoes. I’m just finishing up with the onions so I’m going to start on the avocados.”
He nodded his head and wasted no time in reaching for another knife, starting on the tomatoes beside you while you, as you had told him you would, put the onions in a bowl and started on the avocados.
You chatted between yourselves and after a few minutes, Ray joined you in the kitchen with a sullen look on his face, probably having come to terms with the fact that he wasn’t welcome where he had just come from.
An hour later, you were all sitting around the table, the coloring books and crayons now put aside and the table full of food.
The only sound that could be heard was silverware scraping over the plates and the occasional silly remark from Lucía about the food. The tension hanging in the air was so thick it could have been cut with a butter knife and made it near impossible for you to enjoy your dinner no matter how good the food was.
Oscar was the tensest out of all of you, not having looked up from his plate since you served it to him.
You were holding his hand under the table, rubbing your thumb soothingly over his knuckles that seemed to be constantly bruised, doing your best to at least take some of his anger away.
But it wasn’t doing much and Cesar seemed to have noticed as well, the two of you exchanging an uncomfortable glance before he plastered on a smile and finally broke the awkward silence.
“So… dad got a job at Dwayne’s Joint today.”
“Really? That’s great news!” You hurried to join in on Cesar’s brave attempt, maybe being a little too quick judging by the way Oscar’s head whipped up to glare at you.
He slammed his fist into the table angrily, turning to glare at his younger brother. “You got him a job?” He spat, the hurt and betrayal evident in his voice as he shook his head. “Big mistake.”
Ray cleared his throat from where he sat, putting his fork down and resting his clutched hands on the table.
“You’ve got a good thing going here, Oscar. You’ve got a kind mujer and a good kid, and another on the way.” He spoke, and you smiled. “I’m not here to mess that up for you. I’m done stirring shit up in your life. I’ll move out as soon as I have enough money, I just need some more time.”
“Pendejada.” Oscar quickly swore, turning his glare to his dad. “Do you really think you’re fooling me? You’re not planning to stay. You never do. You’re gonna leave and you’re gonna crush Cesar and Lucía just like you crushed me.”
Your heart broke at his words and the feeling of his hand getting clammy in yours, and you hurt even more when seeing the tears beginning to well up in his eyes.
He stood up from his chair, pulling his hand out of yours in the process and you attempted to reach for it again. “Oscar-“
“Cállate!” He yelled, whipping around to glare at you. The unexpected volume of his voice caused you all to jump and Lucía instantly started crying out of the scare.
Oscar’s face fell the second her cries reached his ears, guilt visibly filling his body. But you just glared, stood up from your seat and picked her up, holding the back of her head as she buried her face into your neck, carrying her out of the kitchen without another word.
You could feel Oscar’s presence not far behind you and you knew he was following you. Once you reached your bedroom door, you opened it up and put Lucía down on her feet, giving her a light push toward the bed.
“Go lay down, baby.” You told her. “Mommy will be right back.” She did as told, climbing up on the mattress, and you backed back out, closing the door and turning around only to become face to face with Oscar.
His face was regretful to a start, but it turned hard when he saw your glare.
“What the hell is your problem?” You whisper-yelled, not wanting Lucía nor Cesar to hear you fight. “You never raise your voice around her!”
“You don’t get it.” He tried, speaking through gritted teeth and pulling a frustrated hand over his face in an attempt to not lose his cool again.
You only glared back, crossing your arms over your chest. “It doesn’t matter whether or not I get it.” You spat back, shaking your head.
“If you want to be angry when you’re by yourself, that’s fine, but we made an agreement when you came home that the anger stays outside the house. Your pent up anger isn’t just affecting you right now. It's affecting us. Me. Our children." You put a hand on your belly, giving him a pointed glare. “It needs to go. The anger needs to go.”
“Do you think it’s that easy?” He fired back, glowering down at you. “You think I should forgive him, is that it? You stand here defending him but you don’t know him. Not like I do. Not even close.”
“I’m saying you deserve it.” You whisper-yelled, uncrossing your arms and prodding a finger into his chest harshly.
You glared at him, letting your and drop back to your side and took a deep breath to calm yourself before continuing.
“You’re right.” You agreed, voice now quieter and your head shaking. “I don’t know him. I don’t even know whether or not he’s sorry for his actions, for leaving you behind like you were nothing to him. But either way you need to let that shit go. Not for him, not because he might apologize or acknowledge the pain he’s caused you but for you. Holding onto anger will only hurt you, make you do things you regret. Don’t make the same mistake he did, don’t hold on to the hurt, don’t go down that same road. You’ll end up right in his shoes in a few years if you do.”
A dark look crossed over his face, unlike anything you had ever seen before. Suddenly, you were backed into the wall behind you, his chest pressing against yours and his hand coming up to press against the wall beside your head as he glared, only millimeters away from your face. “Are you saying that I would leave my kids?”
You swallowed, your heart beating violently behind your chest at the new kind of proximity. Had you been in any other situation, you would have without a doubt gotten aroused by this side of him, but sadly, that was not the case.
“Of course I’m not.” You whispered, pressing the back of your head against the wall behind you, carefully reaching out and taking ahold of his other hand as a frown spread across your face. “I’m saying that if you don’t let that shit go, you’ll continue to be driven by hatred and anger and even if that won’t actively make you a bad father, it will come in the way of you being the best version of yourself, the version I know that you can be if only you let yourself.”
He listened to you intently, his eyes shutting tightly with anger and his nostrils flaring with anger.
But you continued, bringing his hand and placing it atop your belly, pressing your forehead against his. "I know you don’t want him around but if he wants to be there for them, I’m not going to rob them of that."
His head shook against yours and his hand balled into a fist at the side of your head. "He’s just gonna leave them like he left us. Like he left me."
"If so, we’ll take that if the time comes.” You continued trying to reason with him softly, but that had not been the right thing to say.
His eyes opened and in one hasty movement, he had removed his hand from your stomach and pushed himself away from you. "When that time comes, I’m not having that conversation with them. You are." He spat and you followed his example and pushed yourself away from the wall.
“Yeah. I’ll accept that.” You glared, swallowing. “But right now he’s making Lucía and Cesar happy and that’s all I care about.”
“What about my happiness, huh?” He questioned. “Doesn’t that mean shit to you anymore?”
“You’re not unhappy because he’s here.” You stated. “You’re unhappy because you’re holding on to the anger. You owe it to yourself and your family to let it go and move on. Not to him. You and us.”
“It’s not that simple.” He shook his head and you frowned.
“I know it’s not but it all begins and ends in your mind. What you give power to, has power over you. If you allow it.” You paused, looking around the hallway and letting out a deep breath. “I know you’re hurt but-“
“You don’t know anything about hurt!” He whisper-yelled at you, whipping around to face you again after having turned around.
Your heart fell in your chest and your jaw tensed as you met his eyes through the darkness. “Are you forgetting that I was left behind, too?” You whispered and only watched as he shook his head and turned away from you again.
“It’s not the same thing.”
This brought a surge of anger through your body, an anger you hadn’t felt in a very long time.
“No.” You scoffed. “Living your entire life in the middle of the system, being thrown between foster-people, all of whom were either toxic or abusive except one who died, like a fucking ragdoll with no human rights, is so much better.”
Your mind wandered back to Stanley who had taken you in when you were fifteen.
His wife had just passed away and as they had been living with infertility their entire lives, he didn’t have anyone left to keep him company. So in honor of his late wife’s memory, he decided to make one final difference in life and help a child in need.
Just like the system was portrayed in the movie ‘Instant Family’, no one ever wanted to adopt a teenager if it weren’t for the checks they got in the process, so you weren’t expecting anything. But much to yours and the social workers’ surprise, he took a liking to you.
Unfortunately, he passed on only six months later and as you were still a minor, you went right back into the system.
When you were seventeen you finally had enough of being mentally and physically abused by your foster parents all so that they would be able to get money from the state and left the center you were placed at.
You kept moving between your friends, living in their basements and attics one week at a time for almost six months until you met Oscar and slowly but surely started staying with him and Cesar.
You shook yourself free from the painful memories, forcing yourself to return to reality and noticing your eyes were now stinging with tears. But you weren’t discouraged, determined to let him hear what you had to say.
“I’ve been alone all my life. No family. Ever.” You sniffled, still glaring at him through your progressively blurring vision. “You’ve at least had Cesar and the Santos, somewhere to belong, which is more than I can say about myself. I’ve had no one but myself to count on and I finally have a family that loves me. I’m not going to lose that all because you can’t let go of the past. I hate him for leaving you, for hurting you, but he’s here now and there’s nothing neither of us can do about it but make the best of the situation for Cesar and Lucía’s sake.”
Hie eyes were burning holes into the floor and his body was tense and halfway twisted away from you, but you could still see from the side of his face that his gaze was concentrated.
No words left his mouth once you finished your little rant and for a moment, you thought that maybe you had managed to get your point across and gotten through to him, but then he wordlessly turned his back to you and began walking in the other direction.
Your heart instantly dropped in your chest and you called out for him. “Where are you going?”
“Out.” He answered coldly, not turning around and not stopping.
You rushed after him as fast as your feet could carry you and grabbed the back of his shirt, tugging him to a stop. “No, not like this, you’re not.” You protested. “We don’t leave each other upset. You know that.”
He reached around to his back and grabbed your hand, softly but firmly pulling it away from his shirt and turning around to look down at you. The glare that had previously been etched onto his face was gone now, but for some reason you found this new, emotionless expression worse.
“You’re standing here, defending him and taking his side over mine.” He spoke calmly, shaking his head. “I don’t have to stand here and listen to this shit. I’m not going to.”
“It’s not like that and you know it.” You tried sadly, attempting to intertwine your fingers with his with the hand that was still holding on to your wrist.
But he twisted his hand out of the way. “Lo que. I’m out.” He told you, dropping your wrist and turning back around. “Don’t wait up.”
He began walking away again and this time, you didn’t follow. “If you leave, you’re not sleeping here tonight.” You spoke after him, raising your voice slightly.
But he didn’t react, or at least he didn’t show it if he did. He just kept walking away from you, heading past the kitchen and straight for the front door, disappearing from your line of sight when he stepped outside.
The sound of the front door slamming shut behind him reached your ears a second later and caused you to flinch where you stood. The house was suddenly eerily quiet, the only sound being heard being the soft sobs coming from your bedroom.
Ray and Cesar were still sitting at the kitchen table and now that you had stepped out of the hallway to your room, you were on full display for them. But you didn’t say anything to them despite feeling their awkward but worried gazes at you.
Instead, you wordlessly turned around and headed back to your bedroom while sniffling against the back of your hand.
The second you were locked inside your bedroom, the tears started falling, and when seeing you cry, Lucía only cried harder.
You didn’t waste another second before heading over to the bed and getting in next to her, taking her in your lap as much as you could with your belly coming in the way. You stroked her hair, getting lost in thought.
You hated being as empathic as you were. In any other situation, you saw the personality trait as a blessing, but now… now it felt more like a curse.
Your heart bled for Oscar. You had experienced his hurt first-hand when your parents left you when you were little, along with every time the relatively nice foster parents had decided you weren’t the child they wanted and returned you to the foster care center.
You wanted to hate Ray for what he had done, for the hurt he had caused the man you loved, but no matter how much you tried, you just couldn’t, because you could see it so clearly in his face that he was trying to be better.
You sympathized with him, despite the fact that he was supposed to be- no, despite the fact that he was the bad guy in this scenario, and you hated it.
You hated that you couldn’t just snap your fingers and make it all alright, make everyone happy. Ray had only been back for a day and the hopelessness was already so overwhelming you could barely bear it.
Oscar drove to the beach that night. He sat there thinking about everything for hours, even when the final warmth had left the air and the harsh evening air started pulling at his clothes.
He had started off by thinking about his dad, about everything that had happened when he was young, but as soon as his anger melted off, Ray’s face was replaced by yours, and suddenly you were the only thing he could think about.
Not that it was a rare occurrence. Even though you had been together for so long, it happened far more often than he would like to admit.
You had always been there taking care of him and his mano in the midst of the gang wars, never losing your positivity despite the hardships you had endured throughout your life, and that’s what made him fall for you.
You were always smiling, always telling and showing people you believed in them, that their hopes and dreams were valid and reachable.
And there was your unwavering loyalty. He thought back to when you had only known each other for a year, how he had expected you to run the other way with your unborn baby when he got locked up. But you stayed, no matter how hard shit got for you on the outside.
You were twenty-three now and no matter how hard things got, you still stuck to his side through thick and thin, through things that would have had any other person fleeing for their lives a long time ago.
You had done nothing but stay positive about the little that you had through the sorrow of what could have been, and he knew he owed it to you now to do the same. Only, of course, he realized this far too late, like he always did.
By the time you heard the front door open and slam shut again, the clock on your bedside table were showing 2:42am and Lucía was sound asleep with her head in your lap.
You were stroking her long, black locks as you had for the past five hours; a trait she inherited from Oscar along with pretty much everything else.
She hadn’t gotten much from you, in truth, but you didn’t mind it. After all, Oscar was the love of your life, despite all the shit you had been through together.
Your cheeks were stiff and itchy with dried tears and you watched the clock turn from 2:42 to 2:43 just as the first knock was delivered to your bedroom door, followed by three more.
You heard a thud, most likely from his forehead hitting the door, and then came his voice, muffled through the thick piece of wood.
“Mi amor. Lo siento. Open the door, por favor.”
You carefully put Lucía’s head down on the pillow, grabbing more pillows and stuffing them under the mattress to stop her from falling down and tucked her in with a blanket before shuffling over to the door.
You twisted the lock and opened it, instantly coming face to face with a regretful Oscar. He tried to look inside and move past you, but you shoved him back, quietly closing the door behind you.
“She’s sleeping.” You whispered tiredly, your voice groggy.
“Tengo que verla.” He pleaded, but you shook your head, crossing your arms over your chest in an attempt to bring some warmth to your body to make up for the lack of body heat you had previously been receiving from your daughter.
“No, it took a long time to get her to fall asleep.” You protested again. “You’re not waking her up.”
You turned your gaze to the ground, leaning your back against the door and shivering slightly. You were tired, still shaken up and not really sure how to handle the situation seeing as you had never fought like this before.
Oscar, being able to read you like an open book, sensed your unsureness immediately and also took note of the fact that you were cold, carefully reaching his hands out to your upper arms.
Slowly, he pulled you toward him, testing the waters, and when he knew you wouldn’t blow up on him, he pulled you into his chest, wrapping his arms around you
Your eyes instantly fell shut at the feeling, a shock of warmth going through your body and your senses being invaded with his perfume and the smell of fresh air still lingering on his clothes.
“I shouldn’t have lost my temper around her.” He mumbled, leaning his chin on the top of your head.
You hummed tiredly, wrapping your arms around his torso and taking a step closer to him. “That’s right, you shouldn’t. But you can apologize to her in the morning. Not to me.” You replied, pressing your cheek into his chest. “I’m sorry if I made it seem like I was picking his side over yours. That’s not what I was trying to do at all, I just-“
“I know, mami. You were right.” He interrupted, moving his arms from around you to take your face in his hand, bringing his face down to yours. “I’m gonna try better. I want you, Lucía and Cesar to be able to live good, without all this negative energy and shit.”
You could sense that he still didn’t fully agree with you despite claiming that you had been right, but he said nothing more about it, changing the subject and asking; “Can I sleep with you? He’s got the couch, which you already know since you made it up for him.”
A sigh of annoyance left your nose at his moody remark, but you nodded, grabbing his hands. “Come on.”
You opened the door to your bedroom again and led him inside. His eyes instantly found Lucía’s form where she was snoring lightly in the bed, her face illuminated by the bright red light cast from the alarm clock beside the bed.
His eyes didn’t leave her once while he got out of his clothes and into bed and you followed his lead, getting in on the other side of your daughter. No more words were shared between you as you got comfortable, your hands just reaching over Lucía to intertwine, sleep coming quickly for both of you.
The next morning, you were all gathered in the kitchen slash living room, all of you getting ready for your respective days.
The atmosphere was still very much tense but after Oscar’s promise to you the night before, it was a lot less hostile.
After making sure Lucía had breakfast, you had left her with Oscar and Ray to go wake up Cesar and then you had left to go get dressed in proper clothing, not wanting to waltz around in Oscar’s oversized shirt all day.
You were just now returning to the kitchen, finding a very tired Cesar sitting beside Lucía with a sandwich and a glass of orange juice on the table in front of him, slowly eating his breakfast while looking through an old Garfield comic with his niece.
On the other side of the table, Oscar was watching them silently while drinking coffee from his usual black coffee mug and Ray was minding his own business over by the couch, getting ready for his first day at work.
As you rounded the corner and entered their field of view, Oscar’s face instantly pulled into a smirk. You stopped beside him and his hand found its way to your ass in no time, pinching it cheekily.
“You’re looking fine today, mami.” He said, smirking.
You raised an eyebrow at him, unimpressed. “Really? Because I feel like a whale on the verge of bursting.” You replied crankily, only causing him to laugh and pull you down onto his lap.
“No, stop, Oscar. I’m heavy.” You protested, immediately trying to stand up again and free him from your weight.
But his arms were wrapped securely around you, his hands already having found their way to your stomach where they were now rubbing soft circles over your shirt, his lips making contact with your arm from behind you. “No estás pesada para mi.”
“You look beautiful, (Y/N).” Cesar joined in, agreeing with his brother, and Lucía wasn’t far behind, speaking out through a mouthful of cereal.
“Yeah, mamá.”
You chuckled lightly, your face pulling into a wide smile at their words in combination with the feeling of Oscar continuously pressing kisses against your arm while rubbing your stomach.
“Thank you, my babies.” You replied, leaning out of Oscar’s grasp for the briefest of second to press a kiss each to their cheeks.
In response, their grins only widened, both of their mouths full of food and looking nearly identical with the way their eyes squinted when they smiled.
But Oscar wasn’t as impressed as you returned to his arms. “You giving out kisses to my mano but none for me? You’re gonna make me jealous.” He tutted behind you and you rolled your eyes.
Turning around, you were met with his smirk, the smug bastard you oh so loved already having been expecting you to turn around. Without saying another word, you brought your hands up to cradle his face and brought your lips down to his, his hands still rubbing your stomach affectionately.
Cesar and Lucía made mocking sounds of disgust from their spots, fooling around with each other and causing you both to chuckle against each other’s lips, but you kept kissing, only breaking apart when Ray cleared his throat from the sofa.
Your faces came apart and you turned to look at him, finding him now standing awkwardly by the front door dressed in a black t-shirt with ‘Dwayne’s Joint BBQ’ printed across the chest.
“I’m off to Dwayne’s. I’ll see you all later.” He spoke lowly and your eyes furrowed together.
“No breakfast?” You asked, and he looked at you, but before he could answer for himself, Oscar’s voice spoke up from behind you.
“He doesn’t like eating in the morning.”
Both you and Ray turned to look at him, but he avoided your eyes, his face now free of emotion again as he picked his coffee cup back up and wordlessly took a sip.
You smiled fondly at him, placing your hand on top of the one that was still resting on your stomach, before turning back forward to see Cesar standing up.
“I’ll walk with you!” He exclaimed excitedly while shoving the rest of the sandwich into his mouth, reaching out for his school bag on the chair next to his and without as much as a goodbye, he had walked out the door behind Ray, leaving the three of you alone.
“Alrighty, then.” You drawled, the last minute having gone by so quickly, and turned back to Oscar. “Any plans for today, baby?”
With Ray gone, the tension from his body melted right off.
He put the coffee mug back down on the table and wrapped his arms around you again. “Nah. Thought I’d just spend the day with my two favourite girls. Go for a drive, maybe take a walk on the beach.”
You hummed, leaning back into his chest while holding on to his hand on your belly. “That sounds nice.” You smiled, turning your attention to your daughter and stretching your foot out under the table, nudging one of her legs. “Do you want to go to the beach?”
Lucía nodded, but made no move to look up from her comic, simply shoving more cereal into her mouth and starting to kick her legs more violently underneath the table judging by the way said table was shaking.
You raised your eyebrows at her, turning back to Oscar to see him watching her with an identical expression before turning to meet your eyes.
“She gets that from you.”
“Yeah, yeah.” You rolled your eyes, a small smile playing at your lips. “Well, if we’re going outside you’re going to have to help me get my shoes on because I’m too fat to reach my feet.”
He chuckled but didn’t protest, urging you to stand up. You did as told and took his seat when he left to retrieve your shoes from over by the front door. Wordlessly, he helped you get them onto your feet and tied the laces into flawless knots before taking your hands in his.
“Come on, fatass.” He teased.
You raised an eyebrow, allowing him to pull you up. “Who you calling a fatass, fatass?”
“You called yourself a fatass a second ago, dumbass.” He fired back and to this, you raised your other eyebrow, as well.
“Oh, I’m a dumbass, too, now?”
He just smirked at you, pulling you into his chest in an embrace and bending down to kiss you as his hand pinched your butt.
“Dumbass is a bad word.” Lucía spoke up from the table and you laughed, cutting the kiss short, turning to look at her while nodding your head.
“You’re right, it is. Bad daddy.”
“Bad daddy.” She agreed, glaring at Oscar who playfully raised his eyebrows in return.
Lucía, now having finished her breakfast and apparently having had enough of Garfield for this morning, went and changed out of her pajamas into some regular clothes, and then the three of you locked up the house and headed out in the Impala.
You left the streets of Freeridge and drove around Los Angeles for a good hour before you headed back and found yourselves at the beach, and once there, you spent a good two hours thanks to Lucía refusing to leave.
You bought a bag of bread at the store before going there so that she could throw it to the seagulls, and once the annoying, screeching birds made an appearance, it was near impossible to get her back into the car.
But you managed in the end, even though she cried pretty much the entire ride home.
Once you were back home, you took her to bed for a much-needed nap while Oscar went out again to deal with some business, Sad Eyes having been waiting in front of the house when you got back.
When you had finally managed to get her to sleep, you had moved to get out of the bed and go tend to the chores that needed doing, but just as you were about to stand up, Oscar had come back in and laid down with you.
You lost track of how long you just laid there. You didn’t speak a word to each other, just drifting in and out of sleep while waiting for Lucía to wake up again.
His arms were wrapped around you from behind, instinctively moving around on your stomach and squeezing gently in hope to feel a kick.
When the times came where there actually was a kick, he always had his hands in the wrong place, which in turn forced you to constantly move them around with your own.
Lucía woke up some time later, but by then, you had both managed to fall asleep, and she had not-so-graciously woken you up by hitting you both in the head with a book that she wanted you to read for her.
Oscar had accepted the task. He wasn’t doing much reading, just flipping through the book and looking at the pictures, but she wasn’t complaining.
“Can we eat the ice cream Abuelo bought for me yesterday?” She spoke up then after a long while of silence and your eyes instantly switched to Oscar, awaiting his reaction, but he barely even reacted at all.
“Yeah.” He only replied calmly without looking away from the book, flipping the page.
While she reached out and touched the butterfly now presented before her, touching the purple glitter, he looked at her from the side. “I’m sorry I got angry and yelled last night, princesita. I didn’t mean to scare you.”
She didn’t answer, just keeping her eyes on the butterfly and wrapping her arms around his neck, pressing her cheek to his in a way that made her entire face scrunch up at the force.
He pressed a kiss to her temple, flipping the page again.
A few minutes later, you found yourself sitting around the table in the kitchen, each with a bowl of ice cream in front of you and conversing easily while you ate.
The front door opened then and all of your heads turned to see Cesar jogging inside with his school bag slung over his shoulder.
“Have a good day at school?” You asked with a smile, and he smiled back, nodding.
“Yeah, thanks.” He hurried out, rushing over to you and hastily kissing yours and Lucía’s cheeks, bumping his fist against Oscar’s in a quick greeting.
“You want some ice cream, mano?” Oscar asked before putting another spoonful of the ice cream into his mouth, giving his brother an amused smirk.
Cesar only shook his head, going over to the kitchen island where he dropped his bag at Lucía’s barstool. “No, I’m meeting up with dad at Dwayne’s. He gets off work in five minutes.” He answered quickly and barely even spared you another glance as he headed for the front door.
But he stopped himself suddenly and turned back around, and you raised an eyebrow at him as he jogged over to where you sat and took your spoon from your hand, scooping some of your ice cream into his mouth and giving you a goofy grin.
“Thanks, bye.” He gave your spoon back to you and rushed back for the door, this time not turning around.
You chuckled at his antics, going back to your ice cream, but beside you, Oscar had now put his spoon down and pushed his bowl away from him on the table.
Lucía noticed this in an instant and immediately claimed his bowl, pulling it over to her. You watched as she began eating from both of the bowl, all while Oscar stared into the table, obviously disappointed that Cesar hadn’t joined you.
You slowly reached your hand out over the table to take his in yours, giving it a comforting squeeze. He squeezed it back, pulling a hand over his face, before standing up and leaving the table to go outside for a smoke.
The fact that Cesar was suddenly looking up to his dad more than he hurt him, that much was clear in your eyes no matter how much he would try to hide it.
But he still didn’t want to hover and be an ass by forcing him to spend time with him, which was why come Saturday morning, you saw the perfect opportunity for them to spend some good old brotherly time together and pushed them to take it.
Oscar was, like every other morning, sitting at table in the kitchen slash living room. Seeing as it was Saturday, you had slept in today, the clock showing eleven by the time you had finished eating breakfast.
Ray had left for work when you had still been asleep and Cesar and Lucía were still sleeping, for the time being giving you the rest of the house to yourselves for the first time since he had returned.
You were on day six of him staying with you now and during that time, you had learned the hard way that he wasn’t the most organized or clean person, leaving clothes and food out all over the house.
The living room was smelling like a literal garbage dump, a mess of suspicious food occupying the coffee table over by the sofa.
You had attempted to clean said mess the second you had woken up, but Oscar hadn’t let you, saying that you weren’t his maid and that he could clean his mess up himself, so you tried your very best to ignore the awful smell while you had your breakfast.
Thankfully, it wasn’t a very big struggle once you got your mind on other things. It would have been worse, for sure, if you would have been at the beginning of your pregnancy. Had that been the case, you wouldn’t have been able to hold your food down.
Once you heard the bubbling of the coffee machine slow down in the kitchen, you stood up from your seat at the table and walked over. On your way, you cranked open the kitchen window, hoping that a bit of fresh air would help with the smell.
You then brought Oscar’s usual black coffee cup down from its cupboard and filled it up with coffee, leaving a little bit of space for the milk that you poured in when you passed the refrigerator, and then waddled back over to him where he was boredly flicking through Lucía’s Garfield comic.
“Here you go, papi.” You said as you reached him, putting down the coffee cup in front of him, careful not to spill any on the magazine because if you did, you knew hell would be unleased when its owner woke up.
Oscar looked up at you, closing the comic and pushing it to the side and pulling you into his lap by your arms. “Gracias, mamas.” He thanked you, raising his head in an indication for you to come closer.
And you did just that, leaning your head down to press a kiss to his lips. You smiled against his lips and he hummed, his hands contently rubbing along the sides of your thighs.
You didn’t get a lot of moments with just Oscar anymore so you took your sweet time with each other, slowly moving your lips together in synchronization.
Whenever you had some free time on your hands, he always had some illegal shit to take care of. When he had some time to spare, you always had some errands to run and when you both, against all odds, had some free time, Lucía was always there with you.
It was risky getting frisky in the open, you knew, as anyone could’ve walked right in on it, but in that moment you didn’t care.
Your hands slowly moved over his arms, shoulders and neck, coming up to grab his face to pull his face even closer to yours, and his hands moved to your butt, turning you more against him in his lap.
It wasn’t the most gracious embrace with your giant stomach coming in the middle, but it was comfortable anyhow, his touches sending small holts of electricity through your body
“Good morn-“ Cesar stopped himself in the doorway as he entered the living room just then.
You broke apart from the kiss, both out of breath, and looked over at him just in time to see his entire face scrunch up in disgust. But not because of what he had just walked in on. No, that he was used to, more so than he would like to admit.
Instead, he started sniffing the air, looking around and not even blinking an eye to the intimate moment he had just caught you in.
“Agh, dude. What is that smell?” He asked and Oscar wasted no time in pointing to the coffee table.
“Chicken.” He spoke out in an annoyed voice, shaking his head and getting defensive at the look his mano was suddenly giving him. “Don’t look at me.”
Cesar glared back at him. “Look, he’s been gone 12 years. I just want a chance to get to know him.” He said.
Oscar nodded, one of his hands leaving your butt to pick up his coffee mug. “Then you can clean up after him. I’ve got bigger things to worry about. Block’s been quiet.” He said, bringing the mug to his lips and taking a big gulp.
Cesar stared at him and it was only then you noticed the towel hanging from his hand, the realization that he was wearing swimming trunks hitting you shortly after.
He then went to move past you where you sat and Oscar put down the mug and stood up on his feet in no time, still holding on to your waist as you stood up with him and reaching his other hand out to catch Cesar’s shoulder.
“Hey, where you going?”
Cesar gave him an obvious look. “Duh. The pool. It’s open.” He answered rudely and Oscar raised his eyebrows at him.
“Not before you clean up that nasty ass chicken.”
“The chicken can wait a few more hours.” You heard yourself speak before you had even gotten the time to process the thought in your head, but when they turned to look at you, there was no going back, their looks urging to you to continue. “You’re taking Lucía and going with your mano to the pool.”
“Mamas-“
“No.” You interrupted Oscar, pushing at his chest. “Go wake her up and I’ll pack you a bag. Cesar can clean up when he comes home.”
You smiled at him and out of the corner of your eye, you could see Cesar’s face lighting up into a smile to his brother, too.
Said brother glared down at you and you could practically hear his thoughts; you were being too easy on Cesar.
But he didn’t say anything, only turning on his heel and heading to your bedroom to bid to your command.
Meanwhile, you packed his and Lucía’s swimming suits into a bag along with two towels and her Winnie The Pooh bathrobe, a bottle of sunscreen, some water and sandwiches for lunch and of course, the worn-out Garfield comic that she always had to “read” when she ate.
After a good five minutes of convincing Oscar that you would be alright on your own for a few hours, they left for the pool and the second they were out of the house, you laid down in your bed and fell asleep again.
By the time you woke up again the alarm clock by your side was showing 3:27pm, meaning you had been asleep for a good three and a half hours.
You had totally intended to let Cesar clean up the mess left behind by his dad by himself to a start, but after doing two loads of laundry and vacuuming and dusting his room like you had put a pin in a few days ago, you were left restless and bored while awaiting someone’s return and company.
So you brought out a plastic bag and began cleaning off the trash on the coffee table, having to scrub it down with gloves in order to get the juices of the old, rotten chicken out of the wood.
And of course, Oscar had chosen that time out of all the times to return home.
Lucía had run straight past you into her room, her hair still wet and her body dressed in her swimsuit and bathrobe.
While she disappeared down the hallway to your room, Cesar and Oscar stopped in the doorway of the front door at the sight of you scrubbing away at the table, meeting your eyes with different expressions on their faces.
Cesar’s was a mixture of gratefulness that you had relieved him of his work, and nervousness as he knew what was about to come.
Not wanting to be around when shit went down, he slipped off to his room after kissing you hello, leaving you alone with Oscar who was glaring coldly at you for doing the exact thing he had told you not to do.
But he hadn’t said a word, simply taking the trash bag standing by your side and taking it with him outside.
Dinner was tenser than usual that afternoon and when you had shut yourself into your room to put Lucía to sleep later that night, you listened as Oscar yelled his father out in Spanish, pointing out that you were heavily pregnant and still did more around the house than he did.
You couldn’t hear any of Ray’s replies as he was clearly talking with a normal indoors voice, Oscar being the only one yelling, but come next morning when you were cleaning away after Cesar’s breakfast, Ray got out of the sofa and told you to sit down and let him do it.
Surprised, you did as told, the two of you conversing while he cleaned and even fixed you breakfast.
He was obviously trying his hardest to earn his stay, he just hadn’t gotten the routine in yet. You knew Oscar was having a harder time accepting his presence, but you were grateful that he was even trying.
Oscar came out from shower a few minutes later to find his dad feeding Lucía yogurt, the two of them chatting away about Garfield while you sat eating the toast he had fixed you up before she had joined you at the table.
He obviously approved of the change in his dad’s behavior because he served himself a cup of coffee and sat down at the table rather than leaving the room, but he still didn’t say anything.
For the next two weeks, they barely spoke a word to each other. Ray tried to spark up conversations every day to a start but he stopped when he realized he wasn’t making any progress, respecting Oscar’s unspoken wish to be left alone.
Whenever Ray would volunteer to look after Lucía, Oscar would just stare at him with distaste as you agreed, while you, for one, were just happy to see her having so much fun.
He was great with her, taking her out for ice cream, bringing her back small toys when he came home from work and spoiling her rotten to the extent he could with his small income.
On the afternoons Oscar were out handing gang-related things, Ray started walking with you and getting her from daycare so that you didn’t have to walk by yourself, which in turn resulted in Oscar making sure he was free around that time every day to minimize the time you and Lucía spent with him.
He did everything in his power to keep you away from him without actually speaking his concerns out loud, not wanting a repeat of the first night. But whatever he did, everyone but him just seemed to grow closer to Ray and it made him furious.
He was now on his third week staying with you, it was a Friday afternoon and you were just coming back from having picked Lucía up from daycare.
Oscar was walking behind you with her sleeping form held tightly against his chest, his arms wrapped around her back and her head resting on his shoulder, her thumb sucked into her mouth and her comfort blanket hanging from her hand.
You were walking ahead and stepped through the front door first, holding it open for him so that he could walk inside without bumping Lucía into the doorway.
While he disappeared straight down the hallway to put Lucía to bed, you spotted Cesar lying back-down on the couch, his face illuminated by the bright light streaming from his phone that was held over his face.
He barely even noticed your presence, concentrated on whatever it was he was doing on his phone and you raised an eyebrow at this, shrugging your jacket off and dumping it on the chair across from the couch.
Before you could say anything to him, though, Oscar walked back into the living room. “Where’s dad?” He wasted no time asking and only then did Cesar look away from his phone, surprised to see two pairs of eyes at him.
He shrugged his shoulders at the question. “I thought he went with (Y/N) to pick up Lucí.”
“No, I did.” Oscar answered immediately, narrowing his eyes slightly and taking a step forward.
Cesar gave him a look. “Yeah, I can see that.” He shrugged again, turning back to his phone, not seeming very bothered. “He’s probably still at work.”
Oscar snorted. “He got off at four. It’s almost seven.”
As the brothers kept bickering back and forth about Ray’s whereabouts, a bad feeling settled in the pit of your stomach and before you could even register that your body was moving, your feet carried you over to the kitchen island where your wallet was laying on full display.
With a shaky hand, you opened it, and instantly got your suspicions confirmed.
“Shit.” You swore quietly under your breath, hanging your head down.
But no matter how lowly you had spoken, Oscar had heard you and walked over to you, asking. “What?”
You looked at him, guilt and pity building up in your chest. Could he really have been right about Ray all this time? Had you been naïve and misinterpreted his affection for Cesar and Lucía?
“My bus card isn’t in my wallet.” You answered finally, keeping your voice down so that Cesar wouldn’t hear you and get any ideas.
A glare instantly settled over his face, and he didn’t bother keeping his voice down as he shook his head. “What did I tell you? Huh?” He questioned, and Cesar, sensing the atmosphere taking a turn for the worse, walked over.
“What’s going on?” He looked between you with a questioning glance and Oscar let out a humorless laugh.
“You gonna tell him?” He asked and you closed your eyes, pinching the bridge of your nose and breathing out before looking back at Cesar.
“My bus card isn’t in my wallet and it was when we left an hour ago.”
Cesar’s face turned cold almost immediately, his eyes hardening as he understood what you were insinuating. “No.” He shook his head, taking a step back and clenching his fists at his sides. “No. He wouldn’t just leave. Not without saying goodbye.”
“Yeah, he would.” Oscar let out a scoff, followed closely by a dry laugh.
You sent him a glare at his insensitivity, but before you got the time to tell him off about it, Cesar whipped around to look at him and prodded a sharp finger into his chest
“Of course he would, with the way you’ve been treating him!” The youngest Diaz brother exclaimed angrily, tears already building up in his eyes as the panic settled in him. “I just got him back and now you’ve pushed him away, why do you always ruin everything good in my life?!”
Oscar looked at his brother with hard eyes and stood quietly, just taking on his rage, but the way his Adam’s apple bobbled in his throat indicated that he wasn’t feeling as unbothered about the situation as he put on.
Just the thought of how broken he would be if Ray actually left again caused your heart to tug in your chest, even more so when you realized you would be the one left behind to pick up the pieces not only from Oscar’s broken heart but Cesar’s too.
“Cesar, calm down.” You tried reasoning with him, putting a calming hand on his shoulder. “We don’t know what’s going on yet. We can’t just rush to conclusions, maybe he just-“
“There is no maybe!” Oscar exclaimed, turning to look at you and in turn causing you to look back to him. “He left, like I told you he would. This shit’s on you.”
“Don’t blame her.” Cesar instantly jumped to your defense, getting up in his brother’s face. “This is your fault. Not hers. She’s done nothing but try to make him feel welcome.”
They glared at each other, both clenching their fists at their sides and not moving a single muscle. You were left not knowing what to do, your heart beating violently in your ribcage, your pulse deafening in your ears.
But then the front door opened, and all of you turned your heads to the source of the disruption, holding your breaths as you watched Ray walk inside with several paper bags balanced in his arms.
He hadn’t noticed you yet, busying himself with kicking a pair of shoes out of the doorway in order to be able to get in without dropping the bags.
After stepping inside, he turned around and closed the door behind him softly, and then he turned around to face you, stopping in his tracks once he caught sight of you.
His eyes turned unsure as he became aware of the tense atmosphere and the threatening stance both of his sons were standing in.
He looked at them for a moment, silently wondering what was going on, and then turned his gaze to you.
When your eyes met his, you felt more relieved than you had ever done in your life before. Not just for Cesar’s sake, but also for Oscar’s, because no matter how much he would have tried to deny it, you knew that it would have absolutely broken him if he left again.
He had been forced to grow up early in life when having the responsibility of raising his brother on his own thrown on him, but inside of him there was still a small part of the little boy he had been back then and that small part craved his father’s attention and presence.
He tried so hard not to show it, to not show himself weak by covering his true feelings up with the hate and spite he had taught himself to feel for his dad, but deep down, he still loved him. You knew it, he knew it and you were pretty sure Ray knew it too, and that it was therefore that he always kept trying to talk to him.
“Everything okay here?” Ray was the one to finally break the silence and at the sound of his voice, both brothers seemed to relax, their shoulders slumping and their glares faltering.
While Oscar looked at him with a foreign expression, unreadable even for you, Cesar looked at him with pure relief.
Ray noticed this, giving his youngest a worries look when he caught sight of the tears built up in his eyes. “You alright, mijo?”
Cesar offered him a watery smile before turning back to glare at Oscar. “I told you he wouldn’t leave.” He spat out shortly, not saying another word to any of you before walking off, the sound of his bedroom door slamming shut reaching your ears a few seconds later.
The three of you were left in silence again and Ray awkwardly looked between the two of you. He carefully balanced the bags with one of his arms, slowly reaching his other hand into his back pocket do grab something.
Once he got a hold of whatever object it was, he held it out for you and you realized quickly that it was your bus card.
"The fridge was empty so I borrowed your bus card to go to the store.” He informed you. “Wanted to save you the trouble of going on your own. I hope that's alright."
A smile pulled at your lips as you took the card back from him. "Of course. Thank you." You thanked him, but Oscar wasn’t as impressed.
His face pulled into a nasty glare, eyes narrowed to the point where they were just lines of eyelashes.
“Did you take her credit card too?” He attacked, his entire stance rigid.
He wouldn’t admit it but you could read him like an open book, see that he had gotten scared and was now trying to cover up the vulnerability with anger; the only way he knew how.
Ray turned to look at him with an offended look crossing over his features. “I know I’m not the best person but-“
“You’re not.” Oscar quickly interrupted. “You’re as bad as they come.”
Ray nodded, not even bothering to deny his son’s accusations because he knew it was true. “But I would never steal from family.” He finished the sentence he had been trying to get out before being interrupted.
Without waiting for another reply from Oscar, probably knowing that he was just going to keep fighting, he turned to you, now with a smile on his lips. “I got you something.”
Your eyes instantly flickered to Oscar who was now narrowing his eyes in suspicion, but while he kept glaring, you only perked up with curiosity, following Ray as he walked over to the kitchen island to put the bags down, watching as he began rummaging through one of them.
“It’s in here somewhere…” He mumbled to himself while unpacking the bag in order to get a better view of what was inside, and no longer than a few seconds later, you watched as he pulled out a small, white baby bodysuit.
He smiled as he unfolded the tiny piece of clothing and turned it around, and your eyes widened at the sight of the words printed across the front in shimmery, golden letters.
‘Mommy and Daddy’s Little Saint’.
The smile on Ray’s face was genuinely excited as he proudly presented his find. “For the baby. You know, Saint as in Santo.” He explained. “It’s white so it works for both a girl and a boy.”
Tears welled up in your eyes as you took it from him, feeling the soft fabric under your touch and tracing your fingers over the letters.
Before you could stop yourself, you had wrapped your arms around his neck, pulling him as close as your stomach would allow.
His hands unsurely found their way to your back, patting you lightly.
“Thank you.” You mumbled into his shoulder, completely oblivious to the look Oscar was giving you.
Ray patted your hair and hugged you back, frowning slightly as he didn’t know why you were getting so emotional. “No problem, mija.” He answered, and that’s when the hormones got the best of you and everything just came crashing down.
You tore yourself out of his embrace and put the bodysuit down on the barstool by the kitchen island before wordlessly hurrying down the hallway, closing yourself into the bathroom.
You liked to convince yourself that you weren’t affected by your parents, or lack thereof, and you usually weren’t, but when you were pregnant you leaned pretty quickly that it was a subject to stay away from.
Just the mere thought of them could make everything, all the pain you had been forced to withstand through your life, come flooding back in one moment, and despite his past record of walking out on his family, Ray still had a natural fatherly feel to him.
When you hugged him and heard him use the nickname that so many parents used to show affection for their kids, something you had never gotten to experience before, all of it just got too overwhelming for you.
Ray was rooted to his spot, looking at you with shock written all over his face. He turned to Oscar, who was still watching him with squinted eyes, although now a lot less hostile.
“Did I do something wrong?” He asked, and Oscar just sniffed, walking over to him.
“No. She gets like that.” He said, picking the bodysuit up from the barstool when he got close enough to reach it, taking a look at it for himself and turning his lips down in a ‘not bad’-expression. “This is nice. She appreciates it.”
He ripped the tag off the hem and began folding it, ignoring the way Ray’s gaze was burning into the side of his face.
“And you?” Ray asked, and Oscar nodded, avoiding his gaze.
“Yeah.” He answered simply before walking over to the side of the front door where your hospital bag stood at the ready, picking it up and packing down the bodysuit.
Ray watched him from where he stood, not really sure what to say. “Do you need to go check on her?” He asked finally after a few seconds of silence, and once again, Oscar barely spared him as much as a glance.
“No. She wants to be alone when she gets like that. Hormones and shit. She’ll be back soon.” He replied, putting the bag back down and heading for the fridge by the couch.
Ray nodded, his eyes following Oscar as he moved around. He watched as he brought a beer out from the fridge and walked over to the table with it in hand, and as he sat down and grabbed the bottle-opener, snapping the metal lid off and wasting no time in bringing the bottle to his lips, taking a large gulp.
Oscar let out an annoyed sigh, feeling the stare burning into the side of his face.
“What?” He asked without looking up from the table, and Ray’s face changed to one of confusion.
“What?” He asked back, and finally, Oscar looked up to meet his gaze.
“You’re looking at me like you got something to say so speak.”
Ray gave him a hesitant look. “I’ve been here three weeks and I haven’t heard anything about her parents. Got me wondering, is all.” He spoke slowly.
Oscar nodded, looking at him for a few more seconds before turning his attention back to the table, lifting the bottle of beer to his lips for another sip. “She has no parents.” He replied. “Cesar, Lucía and I are all she’s got.”
“Where are they?”
“Left her with her babysitter when she was five to go get dinner, never came back. She grew up in the system.”
“You sure nothing happened to them?” Ray questioned, his voice still careful, almost as if one wrong word would make Oscar blow up. And in truth, it probably would.
“No.” He took another gulp of his beer. “They left a note.”
Ray’s face fell, his hands gripping at the edge of the kitchen island behind him. “That’s rough.”
“Mhm.” Oscar hummed, moving a small piece of cereal around on the table in front of him, left behind from Cesar and Lucía’s breakfast earlier that morning.
“For what it’s worth-“
Oscar’s head instantly whipped up, a hard glare crossing his features. “Whatever it is, it’s not worth shit.” He spat, causing Ray to flinch back slightly.
But no matter how discouraged he got, he continued. “I’m sorry I never called or wrote. If I could take it back and do it differently, I would.”
“But you can’t.” Oscar glared and Ray shook his head.
“No, I cant.” He agreed. “I already told Cesar this the other day but if I got the chance to choose my kids, I would choose the two of you every time. You’ve had it rough, been down the same path I’ve been stuck on all my life. But I’m proud of you, mijo. Of what you’ve got going on here. I know you don’t want me around but I’m not here to stir shit up for you. I’m here to make things right.”
Oscar looked up at his dad while he spoke, listening to him intently and not interrupting him once. The glare on his face was gone when he finished. However, the hard look in his eyes remained in his eyes as he answered.
“You can’t. It’s too late for that.”
But Ray only started back. “That doesn’t mean I should stop trying.”
Oscar nodded in response, the two of them holding their eye-contact as a comfortable silence fell over them. Half a minute later, Oscar finally broke the stare, turning his gaze to the side as he took another swig of his beer before putting it down on the table.
He stood up and headed over to the fridge again, wordlessly bringing out another bottle and heading back to the table where he snapped the cap off.
Grabbing his beer, he walked over to Ray where he was standing by the kitchen island and shoved the untouched beer into his chest, pushing past him and walking around the counter.
Ray took it and turned around, meeting Oscar’s eyes over the counter as he motioned for the bags that were still just standing around. “Make yourself useful.” He ordered, and without waiting for a response, he began unpacking the bags, Ray following his example after taking a sip of his beer.
Half an hour later, your hormones had calmed down, allowing you to stop crying about the bodysuit and exit the bathroom again after freshening yourself up by splashing some cold water into your face.
You slowly and quietly walked down the hallway, slowing down slightly as you reached the corner at the sound of Ray and Oscar’s voices.
“Do it like this instead.” You heard Ray instruct, and Oscar’s annoyed reply came only a second later.
“I know how to cut a jalapeño, anciano.”
“You’re getting the seeds everywhere. They’re supposed to stay on the core.”
“You do it if you’re so much better.”
You slowly rounded the corner, careful not to make a sound.
Your eyes found the two of them in the kitchen immediately, standing side by side. The kitchen lamp was shining down on them and on the stove, something was frying in a pan.
Oscar stood taller than his dad by at least five inches, yet he somehow still looked smaller beside him. Maybe it was the momentarily vulnerable look that crossed over his face when his dad reached out and took the knife from his hand that caused the illusion.
“You cut the tip of first and then stand it up, hold the stem and cut down from the bottom. And then you can dice the slices.” Ray calmly showed him how he was supposed to cut it and even though Oscar’s eyes remained guarded, he watched. “No seeds, no mess. You try it.”
Oscar muttered some Spanish curse word under his breath, but still snatched the knife back from his dad’s hand and did as he had just been shown.
You took that as your cue to make yourself known, waddling into the kitchen with one hand on your stomach and the other at the small of your back for support.
Their head rose in sync when hearing you approaching, their hands stopping what they were doing. Oscar greeted you with a kiss and Ray greeted you with a smile, neither of them bringing up the way you had just ran off earlier of which you were grateful.
You took a seat on the barstool and only a minute later, a now calm Cesar appeared from his room and joined you in watching his dad and mano cook dinner together.
Things were still not all okay, far from it, but even a blind person could have seen that you were making huge progress, and in that moment, it was enough for everyone to be civil with each other, which was more than could be said about the past three weeks.
After dinner, Cesar had gone over to Monse’s house and you and Oscar moved into your bedroom where Lucía was still sleeping soundly in the bed while ray went to sleep in the couch.
You moved around the room, getting ready for bed quietly to not wake her up. While you were changing into your nightshirt over by the closed window, Oscar was sitting at the side of the bed, pulling his white tank top over his head.
Once you were properly dressed for bed, you wordlessly climbed onto the mattress, wrapping your arms around Oscar’s shoulder from behind and pressing a kiss to his bare shoulder.
He turned his head to look at you, but before he could say or do anything, his phone lit up on the nightside table, starting to vibrate as a call came through.
You released his shoulders and sat back, watching as he took the phone and stood up, answering the call.
“Sí?” He spoke into the phone. You could hear someone talking on the other side of the call, but you couldn’t identify the voice or the words spoken.
Oscar whipped around to face you then, causing you to jump. “When?” He asked the person, and you watched with growing worry as a dark look crossed over features and he pulled a hand over his face. “Yeah, I’ll take care of it. I’ll call you back. Cuídate.”
He hung up and quickly started pulling on his clothes again, causing you to rush out of the bed. “Who was it?” You asked, your heart beating rapidly in your chest.
“Mario.” He replied without looking at you, pulling his tank top over his head and going over to the drawer in the corner of the room, where you knew he kept his gun.
“Since when does Mario call you?” You asked, eyebrows furrowing together and arms crossing over your chest.
He unlocked the top drawer of the dresser and wasted no time in bringing the gun out. “Since Cesar, his brother and their friends got caught up with Cuchillos.”
“What?!” You exclaimed before you could stop yourself, and the two of you instantly turned around to look at Lucía who was now stirring in her sleep. But luckily, she didn’t wake up.
You turned back to Oscar, finding him already looking at you. “Her men kidnapped them a few weeks ago and offered them the Rollerworld money back if they finished a job for her. It’s taking them to long, she’s getting impatient. She broke into Monse’s house yesterday and Ruby’s house just now, threatened their families.”
“What? Kidnapped? Why the fuck am I only just hearing about this now?” You asked, eyes widening. “Is that why Cesar was in such a hurry to get to Monse’s? What kind of job could Cuchillos possibly want a group of teenagers for?”
Oscar looked away from you, loading the clip into the gun. “Tracking down Lil’ Ricky.”
“What?” You whisper-yelled, not really sure what you were supposed to think anymore. “Isn’t he dead?”
Oscar glanced at you. “No.”
Your eyebrows creased together. “How do you know?”
“Because I helped them dig up his grave.” He replied as if it was the most natural thing in the world to do. But it wasn’t.
Your eyebrows shot up in disbelief, barely believing what you were hearing. “You did what now?”
Your head was spinning. You didn’t know what the hell was going on at this point, you were being given far too much information at once and you weren’t able to process it.
You had known about the Rollerworld money, of course, as they had been used in the whole plot to buy Cesar’s freedom back and get the Prophets off the streets, but the rest of it… it was all new to you, this being the first time you were hearing about it.
You’d had absolutely no idea that Cuchillos had roped in the kids, and it got you wondering how long it had gone on behind your back.
“I have to go take care of this.” Oscar turned to you then, tucking the gun into the waistband of his pants and pulling his tank top over it.
Your teeth started chewing at the inside of your cheek automatically, the worry only intensifying by every second passing. “What are you going to do?”
He took a step closer to you, grabbing your face in his hands. “Don’t worry your pretty head about it, mamas. I’ll be fine.” He promised.
You stared up at him, placing your hands on top of his. “Please tell me you’re not going after Cuchillos.” You pleaded, and the look on his face revealed that it was exactly what he was going to do.
In that moment, it really hit you how much information Oscar must have kept from you throughout your relationship and it didn’t sit well with you at all.
Not because he hadn’t told you, but because he could have been in life-threatening situations more times than you could count, and you wouldn’t even have known about it.
As if being able to read your thoughts, Oscar leaned down and pressed a chaste kiss to your lips, pulling away and moving one of his hands to stroke your belly. “I’ll be fine.” He promised again. “I’ll be here when you wake up and we’ll start fresh. Prometo.”
With that, he lowered his hand to hook his pinky with yours, and as he left, you took his word for it. But when you woke up the next morning, you were alone.
Or well, not entirely alone; Lucía was still there, of course. But Oscar wasn’t. He never got home like he told you he would and you were worried sick.
But despite the sickening worry you pushed through and went on with your day as you usually would with a lot of help from Ray, who had called in sick to work when you had told him about Oscar’s approximate whereabouts.
He didn’t want to leave you home alone with your due date being so close, and you were thankful to have him there because in all your worried-sick glory, you could barely bring yourself to take care of Lucía, constantly spacing out.
You had called Cesar to ask if he had heard from his mano but he hadn’t. He told you that him, Ruby, Monse and Jamal had locked themselves inside in the Martinez house, the four of them wanting to be together until they knew where they were at with Cuchillos.
You called Mario too, since he had been the one to call Oscar to tell him about Cuchillos threatening their family, but he hadn’t heard back from Oscar either, and the man in question, of course, wasn’t picking up his phone.
You had never been as worried as you were now, and things didn’t get easier for you when Lucía kept asking you about her dad’s whereabouts, a question to which you couldn’t give an answer.
But you were lucky to have Ray there to help you out. He had tended to all the chores around the house throughout the day, all while taking care of his granddaughter and making sure you were okay.
He and Lucía had even cooked dinner together, a process during which she had cracked an egg over his head, something you knew Oscar would have found absolutely hilarious.
After dinner, Lucía went to bed on her own accord, exhausted after a long day of excessive playing with her Abuelo, leaving you and Ray to clean up in the kitchen.
No words were exchanged between the two of you as you worked together with the dishes. Ray washed them under the tap, scrubbing them free of food, and then passed them on to you for you to dry and put them back in their cabinet.
Suddenly, you felt a sharp jab of pain go through your lower abdomen, and after that, everything happened so quickly.
The glass that you were currently drying slipped out of your grasp as you reached out to grab on to the counter for support out of instinct, the glass shattering around your feet as it hit the floor.
Ray’s head whipped around in your direction and he wasted no time in dropping the plate he was currently washing, turning off the tap in one swift movement before rushing over to you.
“Watch your feet.” He instructed you worriedly, stepping over the big shards of glass to help you back away to a clean part of the floor. Once he was sure that you were safe, he let go of your arms. “I’ll go get the broom.”
Without waiting for a response, he turned around, stepped back over the glass and disappeared down the hallway, leaving you to support yourself by the kitchen island as another sharp jab of pain spread through your stomach.
This time, the pain was much more intense, causing you to rush your hand to your belly, and before you knew it, a warm feeling spread through your lower parts, wetness soaking the leggings you were wearing.
“No, no, no, no, no, not now. Please, not now.” Your eyes widened, panic settling in your chest as the pain hit you again. “Ray!” You yelled out, holding on to the counter with all your might as the pain got worse.
He came running in no time, meeting your eyes with a worried glance.
“Call Oscar again.” You instructed him at once, trying your hardest to focus your breathing.
“What’s wrong?” He asked as he approached you, but as his eyes flickered from your face, scrunched up in pain, to the floor where you were now standing in a puddle of fluids, he got his answer.
“Shit.” He cursed, walking over the glass without a single care in the world and rushing over to your side. “Okay, let’s sit you down, mija.”
With the new-found support, you were able to waddle over to the kitchen table where he helped you sit down on a chair, all while calling Oscar on his phone.
“He’s still not answering.” He stated the obvious and you squeezed your eyes shut, the pain becoming more intense and your heart picking up in speed.
“Take my phone, my code is Oscar’s birthday.” You told him, holding on to the backrest of the chair next to yours and motioning with your other arm to the coffee table where you had left your phone.
He wasted no time, rushing over and grabbing your phone as you opened your eyes again, and in that moment you just wished Oscar could have been there to see his father type in the digits of his birthday without as much as a doubt in his mind.
“Text Geny, tell her the baby’s coming. Then call 911.”
He didn’t protest even once, following your instructions while silently wondering how you could be so calm in such a stressful situation.
Not more than four minutes later, Geny and Cesar burst through the front door, right before the ambulance got there.
Geny went to look after Lucía and Cesar ran up to your side immediately while Ray kept trying to reach Oscar both through texts and calls, but to no avail.
The oldest Diaz was panicking, not at all sure what he was supposed to do, but Cesar was calm, giving you encouraging words and helping you control your breathing as you were helped into the ambulance.
This was, after all, not the first time he had supported you through this process.
While Geny stayed behind to look after Lucía, Cesar and Ray rode with you in the ambulance. Ray rode in the front with the driver while Cesar stayed in the back with you, holding your hand through the entire ride.
When you reached the hospital and you were pushed inside in a wheelchair, he still didn’t let go of your hand. Or maybe you were the one who wasn’t letting go, but either way, he didn’t complain once.
You were wheeled into an empty room and transferred onto a bed where two nurses helped you out of your clothes while Cesar and Ray waited outside.
Once you had received your epidural and were properly dressed and situated, with your legs in the holsters and holding a mask of laughing gas to your face, Cesar and Ray came inside and joined your side again.
They sat down in a chair each at either side of you, Cesar holding your free hand while Ray held on to the bag you had packed months earlier in preparation for this day.
The doctor stood by, scribbling down notes on a pad while awaiting you to be dilated enough to begin. He looked up at Ray over his glasses.
“What’s your relation to the patient, sir?” He asked him, his pen stilling on the notepad briefly.
“They’re my brother- and father-in-law.” You replied through controlled breaths before they got the chance to say anything, squeezing your eyes shut and clutching down on Cesar’s hand as another contraction hit you.
“And the father?” He asked, taking notes.
This time, Ray spoke up. “I’ve been trying to get to him but he’s not picking up.”
You let out a dry laugh through the pain, pushing your head back into the pillow and removing the mask from your face to breathe some fresh air.
“Of course he chose this day out of all the days to get caught up with some bullshit.” You panted out, letting out a sound of pain and tensing your entire body as another, much bigger contraction went through your body.
Beside you, Cesar cursed under his breath from having his hand basically crushed, while the doctor put the notepad away and moved down to your legs, checking under the cover the nurses had put over your legs and humming.
“We’ll have to start without him.” He looked up at you, pulling a chair toward him and sitting down, pulling on a fresh pair of gloves. “Do you want them to stay with you?”
You nodded furiously, putting the mask back over your face. “Yes.”
Cesar and Ray remained silent at your sides as the delivery was started. Cesar kept holding on to your hand and throughout the process, a nurse handed Ray a wet, cold rag to dab your sweaty forehead with.
The pain was excruciating but even though it had been four entire years since you gave birth to Lucía, the feeling was familiar, allowing you to handle it a lot better than you had back then in combination with the gas.
This time, the thing hindering you from being completely calm was the fact that Oscar couldn’t be reached and that you had no idea where he was, if he was okay, or if he was even alive.
For all you knew, he could be dead in a ditch somewhere and the mere thought of it brought tears to your eyes.
The doctor and nurse kept encouraging you, thinking that you were just crying from the pain, but Ray saw your sorrows for what they were, reaching out and holding your hand in his tightly once you abandoned the mask.
“He’ll be alright, mija.” He promised you, and you nodded your head while squeezing both his and Cesar’s hands as you gave another push.
And then, almost as if someone had heard your silent prayers for Oscar’s safe return, a nurse rushed inside, stopping in the doorway.
“A man just arrived, claiming he’s the father. He’s hurt, looking like he’s been beaten pretty bad, and acting aggressively so we need someone to come and identify him before we let him in.” She spoke in one breath, and Cesar was on his feet immediately, sending you a comforting smile.
“I’ll go.” He said, and the nurse nodded, leading him away.
But you had barely even registered her words, too caught up in your own head, giving all of the little concentration you had left after the drugs to the pushing.
It wasn’t until Oscar appeared in the doorway that you truly allowed yourself to relax, letting out a cry of relief.
“Oscar.” You cried, and he was at your side in no time, taking the seat Cesar had previously been occupying while the boy in question stayed in the doorway.
“I’m here, mi amor.” He told you, and you looked at him, letting out another cry when you caught sight of his bruised and bloody face. “You’re doing great, mami. Keep going.” He told you, gripping your hand with both of his.
As he kept giving you encouraging words, kissing your knuckles, Ray stood up and sneaked out of the room with Cesar, leaving the two of you alone.
The delivery lasted for another fifteen minutes, and then with one last push, a new cry broke through the air as your body fell limp on the bed.
Oscar left your side to cut the umbilical cord of your newborn baby, being the first one to hold it in his arms once the nurse had wrapped it in a blanket.
He looked down at the new life with a smile on his face, slowly walking over to your side again, sitting down and turning the bundle so that you got a clear view.
“It’s a girl.” He told you smugly, smirking at you, and you groaned playfully.
“Damn it.” You cursed, your head hitting the pillow behind you again, but you smiled and Oscar chuckled, leaning forward to press a kiss to your damp forehead.
With the help of one of his hands, you were able to scoot up into a sitting position on the bed, looking down at your newborn daughter’s pruny face from your seat.
When Lucía was born, she had been screaming the second she came out and not gone quiet for hours, but this baby was quiet, only whining slightly as she moved around in Oscar’s arms.
You smiled at the sight, silently holding your shaking arms out. You didn’t need to say anything, Oscar carefully handing the bundle over to you, and you instantly sniffled when you felt her in your arms, a fresh set of tears starting to prick your eyes.
He sat beside you, leaning his elbows on his knees and looking at you with a concentrated expression.
You were suddenly pulled back to reality, your eyes flickering away from your daughter’s perfect face and over to Oscar, your heart falling in your chest as you got your first proper look of his face.
Both of his eyes were purple and slightly swollen, small cuts littering his face and an even bigger cut on his neck. Worry filled your body as you noticed his drooping eyes and took note of the fact that the cut on his neck was still producing fresh blood.
“Oscar...” You whispered and his eyes instantly moved from the baby to you.
Before you got the chance to say anything else, however, there was a knock at the door.
Both of you turned your attention to the source of the sound, finding Ray standing there with the hospital bag slung over his shoulder, alongside the nurse who had come in and alerted you of Oscar’s arrival earlier.
“Sir, you’re bleeding.” She stated the obvious, taking the words right out of your mouth. “If you come with me, we’ll get you cleaned up.”
A glare instantly settled over his face, but when you reached your hand out to touch his hand, it melted right off. He turned to look at you and you nodded in encouragement. “We’ll be fine.”
Ray left the nurse’s side, walking into the room and coming over to Oscar, reaching out and squeezing his shoulder. “I’ll stay and look over them.” He promised.
Oscar sighed, turned back to you and gave you and the baby a kiss each, before silently walking after the nurse out of the room, leaving Ray to take his seat.
He dropped the bag next to the bed and sank into the chair. He looked at you questionably and before he could say anything, you smiled, answering. “It’s a girl.”
He smiled back lightly, peeking over the bundle of blankets.
“Do you want to hold her?” You asked, and he looked at you with a doubtful expression. But then he nodded, and carefully reached out to take her from your arms and into his own.
He looked down at her carefully, bouncing her in his arms lightly and pulling the blanket from out of her face, touching her nose.
When feeling his touch, she reached a small hand out and wrapped her even smaller fingers around one of his, causing him to smile up at you. “She likes me.”
You chuckled and nodded, leaning back on the bed in exhaustion. “Yeah.” You agreed, feeling your heart tug in your chest when he looked back at her and sniffled, bringing an arm up to wipe his eyes.
Oscar reappeared in the doorway then, the cut on his neck now covered by a thick bandage and the smaller ones on his face clean from dried blood.
Ray threw a look over his shoulder when hearing his approaching footsteps, turning back to you and carefully handing the baby back before standing up, meeting Oscar in the middle of the room.
Oscar threw a quick look at you, making sure you were both okay, and when getting a smile of confirmation, he turned back to his dad while you turned your attention to the baby, giving them as much privacy as you could considering the fact that you were still stuck in the same room.
“I’m glad you’re okay.” Ray was the one to break the silence between them. Oscar only nodded his head once, which urged Ray to continue. “I, uh… I found an apartment.”
Oscar scoffed, a glare crossing over his features. “You’re leaving again?”
“You’re leaving?” Came Cesar’s voice, now standing in the doorway with a small, white plastic bag clutched in his hand. His face was sad, eyes wide.
“No.” Ray looked over to him and quickly protested, shaking his head, and both Oscar and Cesar visibly relaxed. He turned back to Oscar. “It’s just down the street from you. Figured you won’t want me on the couch now that you’ve got a baby to take care of.”
He paused, eyes flickering down slightly, but then he made his move and put a hand on his shoulder, giving it a good squeeze. “You did good, mijo. I’m proud of you.”
Oscar’s face scrunched up with emotion, his eyes growing glassy, and before any of you could register it, they had wrapped their arms around each other in a tight embrace, Ray’s hands clapping his back in a fatherly manner while Oscar buried his face in his neck.
While they shared their moment, Cesar silently walked around them with a smile permanently splayed across his face, approaching you while raising the bag.
“I, uh, I wanted to bring you flowers but you know, the hospital cafeteria didn’t have much to offer so I bought candy bars instead.” He said nervously and your entire face lit up.
“You know I’d take chocolate over flowers any day.” You chuckled in relief at the thought of getting something to eat after the physically and mentally draining day, putting on a playful smirk and nodding to the baby. “I’ll trade you.”
Cesar’s nervous smile pulled into a much brighter one and he hurriedly took a seat at the edge of the bed, dumping the bag beside you and holding his arms out.
Handing him the baby, he looked down at her and then up at you again. “Do you have a name?” He asked and you parted your lips.
“Ariel.” Oscar spoke before you could answer, causing you to turn and glare at him as he joined your side again, Ray heading over for the chair at Cesar’s side.
“I thought we agreed on Isabel?” You asked, raising an eyebrow, and he gave you one of those annoyingly handsome smirks.
“No, you agreed. I didn’t.” He protested and you rolled your eyes.
“You could always mix them.” Cesar offered a solution, shrugging his shoulders while slowly rocking the sleeping baby in his arms.
You instantly shook your head, scrunching your nose up in disgust. “No, thank you.” You declined, begrudgingly. “I’d rather settle with Ariel.”
You sighed, laying back down and Oscar took your hand with a small chuckle. Five minutes later, Geny turned up with Lucía and her entire family, and not long after that, Monse and Jamal turned up with their parents, too.
That’s what you loved about the people in Freeridge. They knew when to give people space but they also knew exactly when you were supposed to be together.
You were like one giant family. It wasn’t perfect; rather, on the contrary, it was broken and pretty fucked up, but it was yours, and that was more than enough.
#oscar diaz x reader#oscar diaz imagine#oscar diaz#oscar spooky diaz#spooky diaz#spooky x reader#spooky#on my block#on my block imagine#on my block x reader#omb imagine#omb#omb x reader#mario martinez#mario martinez x reader#mario martinez imagine#ruby martinez#cesar diaz#cesar diaz x reader#monse finnie#jamal turner
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BeeTober 2020 Day 1
Cliff - Mid-Autumn Festival
It’s October and you all know what that means! Another writing event, where I will post a fic every day. Since the Untamed Fall Fest is happening at the same time, I combined the prompts! There’s a series on my AO3 where you can read all of these as well, if that suits you better.
This first fic is Mingcheng, and it will probably change everything, plot-wise, but like always, don’t ask me about it XD
I hope you enjoy this event with me!
Jiang Cheng has a bad feeling about this conference. Despite what everyone thinks, he is in fact able to read a room and what he reads spells trouble.
And going by the looks Jin Guangshan keeps throwing him it will come from him.
The conference is just drawing to a close and Jiang Cheng finally allows himself to relax—if only a little bit—when Jin Guangshan turns his eyes on him.
Jiang Cheng immediately stiffens again.
“There is one more matter to address,” Jin Guangshan says and Jiang Cheng feels relieved to see that he’s not the only one who suppresses a sigh.
“And what would that be?” Lan Xichen asks, when Jin Guangshan falls silent, clearly waiting for someone to inquire after that mysterious matter, and a cold shudder runs down Jiang Cheng’s back when Jin Guangshan smiles at him.
“The matter of the Jiang Sect,” Jin Guangshan sweetly replies and everyone in the hall falls silent.
“What is the matter with my Sect?” Jiang Cheng asks with a slight bow and when Jin Guangshan looks at him like one might look at a particularly stupid child Jiang Cheng has to fight the urge to throw himself off a cliff.
Or maybe he’ll just throw Jin Guangshan off one, that should solve almost the same amount of problems for Jiang Cheng.
“You’re recruiting, and heavily at that,” Jin Guangshan says, just as Jin Guangyao nods in agreement. “One has to wonder if there’s a hidden reason behind that.”
Jiang Cheng works his jaw, before he gets up and bows low to Jin Guangshan, aware that all eyes are on him. And not all of them are friendly.
Jiang Cheng never did deal well with attention like this.
“There is no hidden agenda,” Jiang Cheng promises and then his petty streak makes an appearance. “I know Lanling Jin didn’t suffer the same losses, but Yunmeng Jiang nearly got destroyed when Lotus Pier was burned. I barely have any disciples as it is. I’m just trying to fill the ranks again.”
“And for what purpose?” Jin Guangyao asks him, clearly picking up on Jin Guangshan’s thread of thought.
“Yunmeng Jiang is one of the Great Sects. There is nothing Great about Yunmeng right now, and I’m just trying to rebuild it,” Jiang Cheng says through clenched teeth.
“Recruiting at this point of time seems suspicious. One could think you’re trying to replace Qishan When,” Jin Guangyao says, a polite smile on his face and Jiang Cheng wants to do nothing more than wipe it off.
Preferably with Zidian.
“I am not actively recruiting, though,” Jiang Cheng forces himself to say, because he can guess where this is going. “People come to me to pledge loyalty. I am in no position to send them away.”
“Even when they already have a Sect they belong to?” Jin Guangyao wants to know and of course this is the whole problem.
“I don’t question where my people come from,” Jiang Cheng admits. “If they are willing to be loyal, then I am willing to let them wear purple.”
“How can they be loyal if they already betrayed one Sect?” Jin Guangshan says and Jiang Cheng suppresses a sigh.
“What do you mean?” Nie Mingjue suddenly chimes in and when Jin Guangyao looks at him with much the same look Jin Guangshan just gave Jiang Cheng, Jiang Cheng feels his skin itch.
“People are falling over themselves to join Yunmeng Jiang. Even disciples who already pledged their loyalty to one Sect.”
“Ah, I see,” Lan Xichen says and stands up. “I don’t think that is much of a problem,” he goes on and Jiang Cheng inwardly shakes his head.
Of course he won’t think of this as a problem. Barely any Lan disciples came to Jiang Cheng after all. But his Sect is overflowing with Jin disciples and Jiang Cheng is honestly not surprised about that.
“Er-ge,” Jin Guangyao gently chides him and Jiang Cheng sees how Nie Mingjue works his jaw at the patronizing tone.
“I don’t see a problem with that, either,” Nie Mingjue says after a moment and Jiang Cheng is honestly surprised he is speaking up for him.
“But you should,” Jin Guangyao says. “I heard some Nie disciples defected as well.”
“As they should, if they can’t serve under me,” Nie Mingjue gives back without a beat and for once Jin Guangyao falls silent.
Jiang Cheng sees a dangerous glint in his eyes, and he thinks it might be better if someone interferes.
“Sect Leader Jin, I apologize if I offended you in any way,” Jiang Cheng says with a low bow. “But I am not actively recruiting and I am not doing background checks on my disciples at this time. Anyone who wants to serve me is welcome. I hope you understand the need to rebuild what was lost in this gruesome war.”
Jiang Cheng bitterly thinks back to his burned home, while Jinlingtai stands strong and perfect as ever and he wants to shake Jin Guangshan until his head falls off.
Besides, it’s not his fault that Jin Guangshan is such a shitty leader that his disciples are coming to Jiang Cheng in flocks. At this point, there are probably more Jin disciples in purple than any actual Yunmeng people.
Jin Guangshan narrows his eyes at Jiang Cheng, who keeps his bow low and respectful, even though he feels anything but, and eventually he waves his hand.
“Just see to it that your actions cannot be mistaken for anything but rebuilding,” Jin Guangshan warns him and Jiang Cheng suddenly understands that Jin Guangshan is afraid of him.
Jiang Cheng lost everything; his parents, his home, most of his Sect. His sister will marry into the Jin Sect and only the gods know what Wei Wuxian is up to these days and yet Jin Guangshan feels threatened by him.
It’s honestly a better feeling than Jiang Cheng has expected.
~*~*~
Jiang Cheng is on his way back to his quarters when Nie Mingjue stops him.
“Do you have a moment?” he wants to know and Jiang Cheng nods, despite how uneasy he feels.
Nie Mingjue had seemed okay with the fact that a few of his people decided to serve under Jiang Cheng, but Jiang Cheng knows better than to trust it.
“Of course,” Jiang Cheng stiffly replies and when Nie Mingjue steps closer, Jiang Cheng is acutely aware of the fact that Nie Mingjue is a very imposing man and that Baxia is a very huge saber.
“Is it true? Did some of my people join your Sect?” Nie Mingjue asks and Jiang Cheng squares his shoulders.
These people came to him in hopes of finding a new home, and he will not sell them out to their previous Sect Leaders.
“And what of it?” Jiang Cheng snaps but Nie Mingjue only smiles slightly at him.
“Nothing,” he easily replies. “I meant what I told Jin Guangshan. If they found someone more worthy to follow than me, then I am fine with that. I only wish the best for my people and if I am not it, then I would always encourage them to go find it.” Nie Mingjue tilts his head slightly before he adds, “Unlike some other people.”
“I see,” Jiang Cheng replies, because he doesn’t quite dare to trust this.
It is still very fresh in his mind that the other three Great Sects now have a sworn brotherhood, while Jiang Cheng and Yunmeng Jiang are standing all on their own.
“I am looking for seven disciples,” Nie Mingjue says and holds out a small scroll to Jiang Cheng. “Those are their names. I try my best to give the families of my disciples an account of what happened to them during a fight, but I can’t find these seven. Maybe they are with you?”
“I will not sell them out to you,” Jiang Cheng hisses and Nie Mingjue seems honestly taken aback by the venom in his voice.
“I am not asking you to. If they are with you, then that’s okay with me. I just want to know if I have to tell their families that they are dead or not.”
Jiang Cheng mulls that over for a few moments before he snatches the scroll out of Nie Mingjue’s hand.
He quickly unrolls it and scans the names, before he rolls it up again and puts it inside his own robe.
“I recognize four of them,” he finally tells Nie Mingjue. “They are alive and well.”
“And the other three?” Nie Mingjue lowly asks and Jiang Cheng shrugs.
“I haven’t heard their names. I’ll have to ask around.”
“Would you?” Nie Mingjue asks and Jiang Cheng scoffs.
“Do I have a choice?” he bites out and he almost—almost—softens at the surprised look on Nie Mingjue’s face.
“Why wouldn’t you?”
“I might be a newly appointed Sect Leader but I am well aware of the consequences refusing you would bring for me. Especially with the support you have in your back.”
“You have nothing to fear from me,” Nie Mingjue says with a small frown. “You have support as well.”
“Oh, yeah, I forgot,” Jiang Cheng sarcastically says. “I have your support, of course. Is that the reason you and your two sworn brothers decided to forget about me?” he can’t help but ask and Nie Mingjue rears back as if Jiang Cheng had hit him with Zidian.
“We didn’t mean to—,” Nie Mingjue starts but Jiang Cheng doesn’t let him finish.
“It doesn’t matter, it is done after all,” Jiang Cheng bitterly mutters. “I will see if I can find your missing disciples, Sect Leader Nie,” he then says with a mocking bow. “And please be lenient with me in the future.”
“Jiang Wanyin, we didn’t mean to.”
“And yet you did,” Jiang Cheng gives back. “You isolated me and now I am without support. Jin Guangshan must really love this. No wonder he comes after my disciples now. Thanks to you, they are the only support I have left. Now, if you would please excuse me,” Jiang Cheng finishes, before Nie Mingjue can find his words again, and he simply turns around and leaves.
He can’t even find it in him to care that he was rude. They don’t respect him anyway, one bow more or less won’t change that.
~*~*~
Jiang Cheng is in the middle of the preparations for the mid-autumn festival, when a disciple finds him.
“Sect Leader Jiang, Sect Leader Nie is requesting to see you,” he politely says and Jiang Cheng let’s out a frustrated sigh.
This is the first major holiday since Lotus Pier burned, since Jiang Cheng lost everything. He had planned to spend it with the only remaining family he has left, had hoped to spend it with his disciples who will hopefully turn into a new family for him, and he was not prepared to have this all interrupted.
“Fine,” he still sighs. “Send him in,” he instructs the disciple, not even caring that it is incredibly rude that he didn’t go out to greet Nie Mingjue himself.
Well, better the other Sect Leaders learn to manage their expectations early when it comes to Jiang Cheng.
“Jiang Wanyin,” Nie Mingjue greets him when he enters Jiang Cheng’s study, and Jiang Cheng narrows his eyes at him.
“Sect Leader Nie,” he gives back, but Nie Mingjue waves him off.
“None of that, please.”
Jiang Cheng frowns but he doesn’t argue with Nie Mingjue.
“What brings you here,” he asks when it doesn’t seem like Nie Mingjue is going to talk, his gaze wandering around the study, and Jiang Cheng has a quick second to regret meeting him here.
But then remembers that this is Nie Mingjue, who is righteous and steadfast in a way not a lot of the other Sect Leaders are, and he reassures himself that he has nothing to fear from Nie Mingjue.
He would know it if Nie Mingjue wanted to harm him and his Sect, Jiang Cheng is sure of that.
“I have a proposal,” Nie Mingjue thoughtfully says but then stops himself. “But first I wanted to ask if you had any luck finding the other three disciples.”
“I did,” Jiang Cheng nods and gets the scroll. “Two of them are dead. I’m sorry. They died wearing my colours, which is probably why you didn’t find them. The third one is with me as well, and she is alive and healthy.”
Nie Mingjue scans the names and Jiang Cheng sees honest sorrow when he reads the names of the two deceased ones.
Jiang Cheng knows the names of all his disciples, makes it a point to learn them, even though due to the recent influx of them he is a little bit behind, but he didn’t think anyway else bothered to.
Jin Guangshan certainly doesn’t seem the type, and neither does Lan Xichen, if he’s being honest.
“Thank you for finding them,” Nie Mingjue softly says and then quickly puts the scroll away.
“Don’t mention it,” Jiang Cheng gives back, more threatening than he actually means to, but this is making him uncomfortable now.
He shouldn’t be thanked for simply being a decent human being.
“Now, what’s the proposal?” he gruffly asks, desperate to change the topic and Nie Mingjue straightens up.
“We were wrong to leave you out of our sworn brotherhood,” Nie Mingjue starts with and Jiang Cheng already wants this conversation to end.
He doesn’t need to be reminded that despite whatever Nie Mingjue is saying right now, they did leave him out of it.
“And I know we can’t make up for it, because it’s already done, but I have an idea.”
Jiang Cheng hesitates for a moment, but then his curiosity wins out. He wonders what Nie Mingjue thinks he can do, given that he is already sworn brothers with Lan Xichen and Jin Guangyao and a brotherhood of four is bad luck.
“Speak,” Jiang Cheng orders when Nie Mingjue falls silent again.
“You can swear brotherhood with Lan Wangji and Jin Zixuan,” Nie Mingjue proposes and Jiang Cheng shakes his head, because what?
“I know it’s not the same, since neither of them are Sect Leaders, though Jin Zixuan is the heir. But it would still strengthen your standing. It would also help you to protect Wei Wuxian, because I have seen the greedy look on Jin Guangshan’s face when it comes to the Stygian Tiger amulet, but I have also seen how Lan Wangji looks at your brother. I doubt he would let anything happen to him, if he’s given a chance.”
Jiang Cheng has to admit that Nie Mingjue is right about that—he had noticed it as well—but he still can’t help the bitter huff he lets out.
“And you get out of this without any bonds,” Jiang Cheng bitterly says, because it didn’t escape his notice that there was no mention of the Nie Sect in any of this.
“I wouldn’t,” Nie Mingjue gives back and puts a box on the table.
“What is this?” Jiang Cheng wants to know, eyeing the box with suspicion.
“A courtship gift,” Nie Mingjue easily replies and Jiang Cheng freezes.
“What? Don’t be ridiculous.”
“I am not. A sworn brotherhood can only get you that far, especially since you can’t swear with any other Sect Leaders. So I am proposing a marriage.”
“Between me and—?” Jiang Cheng wants to know, because he can’t quite believe that Nie Mingjue would sell Nie Huaisang like this, but on the other hand he can’t see Nie Mingjue accepting a spouse either.
“Me,” Nie Mingjue says, much to the surprise of Jiang Cheng and then chuckles. “I wouldn’t sell Huaisang. If I was proposing a marriage with him, he would be here.”
Jiang Cheng gapes at Nie Mingjue because this is so far from anything Jiang Cheng had imagined that he can barely wrap his head around it.
“You must be joking,” he finally manages to say, but Nie Mingjue shakes his head.
“I assure you, I am not.”
Jiang Cheng allows himself to imagine it for a few moments; not only the support this would bring to him, but also the marriage in itself. He can see himself falling in love with Nie Mingjue—he’s a catch, really, if you don’t mention the qi deviations—but Jiang Cheng knows better than to expect the same in turn.
“I will not enter into a loveless marriage,” Jiang Cheng declares, thinking back to his own parents, but Nie Mingjue shrugs.
“You are a very attractive man, Jiang Wanyin. And I admire your strength, your resilience and your biting tongue, and how you all use it to hide the fact that you love your family and people. I can see myself falling in love with you, but that is what the courtship is for, is it not?” Nie Mingjue gives back and effectively renders Jiang Cheng speechless. “And even if it doesn’t work out, I doubt I’m going to live to old age. You’d be free of me sooner rather than later.”
“You actually mean it,” Jiang Cheng finally chokes out, deciding to ignore the last part for now, and Nie Mingjue pushes the box towards him.
“Of course I do. I do not have the time for lies and deception.”
“Yeah,” Jiang Cheng agrees, because that he actually noticed before.
Nie Mingjue is the most no-nonsense person Jiang Cheng has ever encountered, and he knows Lan Wangji.
Jiang Cheng reaches out for the box with shaking hands, and he lets out a startled laugh when he opens it.
It’s full of nails.
“I thought you could need some funds to rebuild Lotus Pier. This was the easiest to carry with me,” Nie Mingjue sheepishly admits and Jiang Cheng chuckles again.
“You’re not actually wrong,” he admits and closes the box again. “If we’re doing this, there will be a proper courtship, Mingjue,” Jiang Cheng dares to say, figures if this is really happening then they better get used to this sooner rather than later, and Nie Mingjue nods.
“I wouldn’t want anything else,” Nie Mingjue replies with a smile and Jiang Cheng is startled to see dimples appear on his face.
He didn’t know about that. It could be a problem.
“Stay for the mid-autumn festival,” Jiang Cheng finds himself saying and is taken off guard when the smile grows in its intensity.
“With pleasure.”
~*~*~
When Nie Mingjue insists that they send a lantern off together, Jiang Cheng is not as surprised as he would have been a week ago.
Nie Mingjue stayed the whole week in Lotus Pier, helping with the rebuilding, but also actively courting Jiang Cheng, and Jiang Cheng has to admit that he didn’t think Nie Mingjue even had one romantic bone in his body.
He had been wrong.
Sending off a lantern together, like only lovers would do, does not actually come as a surprise.
When the lantern drifts off, taking Jiang Cheng’s wish with it, he can’t help but to look over at Nie Mingjue.
The other man is already looking at him, and there’s something so soft in his look that it makes Jiang Cheng’s knees weak.
Jiang Cheng fights the instinct to run away and hide from that look—if this is going where Jiang Cheng finds himself hoping it will go he will have to get used to this, he’s sure of that—and instead he leans up on his toes to press a kiss to Nie Mingjue’s cheek.
Nie Mingjue freezes in surprise, Jiang Cheng can feel it, but he also puts a hand to Jiang Cheng’s waist, keeping him close and Jiang Cheng finds himself enjoying that more than he maybe should.
“I didn’t think my wish would be fulfilled this quickly,” Nie Mingjue mutters, much to Jiang Cheng’s embarrassment and he hides his face in Nie Mingjue’s shoulder.
“Yeah, I’m not used to getting what I wish for either,” he gives back and then feels how Nie Mingjue presses a kiss to the top of his head.
“Well, then it’s something we can get used to together,” Nie Mingjue decides and Jiang Cheng nods.
He’s actually looking forward to it.
Link to my ko-fi on my sidebar.
#bt writes#beetober2020#untamed fall fest#mingcheng#the untamed#mdzs#canon divergence#hurt/comfort#marriage proposal#courtship#sworn brotherhood#jc is a good sect leader#and nmj knows to appreciate him for it
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eeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!! Would be awesome if you continued the nmj&wwx sworn brothers fic! I'm not good at giving plot prompts, but I really would just love to see your take on nmj's character, and how he would interact with wwx. I found it interesting that wwx in the untamed was really respectful of nmj when they met, not like how he was in Cloud Recesses. I wanted to see more of how they might interact if they had closer relationship. (Of course also hoping that changes things for the better!)
sequel to this
Wei Wuxian hated to admit it, but being Nie Mingjue’s sworn brother made a world of difference.
People looked him in the eye now, no matter what sort of atrocities were ascribed to him; there was still fear in their gazes, but now it was more like respect – and even more like confidence. He hadn’t realized how many people looked at him as a child, lashing out wildly in all directions, maddened like a rabid dog in his search for vengeance, nor how relieved they would be to know that his sins could be answered for by someone universally viewed as capable enough to keep him down.
It wasn’t just that most people would put money on Baxia against just about everything else – Wei Wuxian counted himself among that crowd – but also, just…Nie Mingjue.
Nie Mingjue was a stern man, short in both temper and speech, but he was straightforward and decisive. He had listened to Wei Wuxian and Jiang Cheng lay out the benefits of their position, taken an evening to consider, and accepted promptly the next morning; the ceremony had been held at a convenient moment a few days after that, and then he’d invited them both to dinner – Wei Wuxian, as his new brother, and Jiang Cheng as the brother of his brother.
At first, Wei Wuxian couldn’t quite put his finger on what changed after that – it was similar to the way Nie Mingjue had treated them both before, when he was their general and they his lieutenants, but also significantly different. He was still harsh, still fiercely opinionated, still straightforward as ever, as generous in words of discipline as he was sparse in words of praise; was it only that his eyes were softer? That he sometimes felt free to put his hand on Wei Wuxian’s shoulder? That he listened to him, was open to interruptions no matter what time of day or night, asked him for meaningless favors and did them for him in return?
“It almost reminds me of shijie,” Wei Wuxian told Jiang Cheng. “If she were as tall and strong as a bear, and a lot more willing to correct me…almost like Madame Yu, but not as bitter. Yet there’s something of Uncle Jiang there as well: he trusts me to do things, but he’s also there to keep an eye on it – not in an offensive way, you know? Just there in case something goes wrong…it’s very reassuring, somehow. Like having a mountain at your back, keeping you steady.”
“You’re an idiot,” Jiang Cheng said. “All that – you’re just saying he’s acting like he’s your big brother.”
Wei Wuxian stared at him.
Jiang Cheng’s cheeks were red and his eyes averted. “Don’t you know you’re just the same to me?” he muttered, and shoved Wei Wuxian’s shoulder briefly before fleeing, and Wei Wuxian felt a glow of warmth that filled his entire body from head to toe that kept him floating through the next week.
He’s never had a da-ge before, which was probably why he was so slow on the uptake. Nie Mingjue doesn’t so much as blink an eye when Wei Wuxian started calling him that – warily at first, like a bit of mischief that he could play off as a joke if he was rejected, and then quickly enough with confidence, smug and arrogant the way he’d been before the war started, when he’d still had the Jiang sect to hold up the sky for him no matter what he did.
After all, who would dare get in his face with Chifeng-zun at his back?
Nie Huaisang’s frivolity suddenly made a great deal more sense. He was just spoiled!
-
Jiang Cheng benefited as well, which he wouldn’t have necessarily expected but perhaps should have. Wei Wuxian came across them talking, late one night, and sits in a tree to listen the quiet stories they shared – the burden of being Sect Leader, of needing to honor one’s ancestors and keep their traditions alive while also preserving the lives that had been entrusted to them in this lifetime; the crushing emptiness of realizing that the task for which your entire life has been a preparation had suddenly arrived and there was no one else for it but you; the need for vengeance against those who had robbed you of your parents and childhood all in one go.
Even the struggles Wei Wuxian hadn’t known anything about: the lack of respect from elders who thought they knew better because they still saw you as a child, the need to play politics with small sect leaders eager to take advantage of weakness now to benefit later, the isolating realization that almost everyone you met wanted something from you.
“Thank you,” Wei Wuxian said to Nie Mingjue, after, his face solemn in a way it rarely was. “He’s holding up a corner of the world, all by himself, and I didn’t know how to help him.”
Nie Mingjue nodded; he didn’t shrug things off the way Wei Wuxian did, always took things that were meant to be serious as seriously – it had been such a shock when Lan Xichen had mentioned off-handedly that he was only seven years older than they were; he’d been Sect Leader for as long as Wei Wuxian could remember. If someone told Wei Wuxian that Nie Mingjue had been carved from stone rather than born, he would have believed it, excepting only that his heart could not have been stone.
“It’s something I can do, so I did,” he said, meaning that it was nothing when it was everything. “Perhaps one day you’ll tell me what it is that I can do for you.”
Caught, Wei Wuxian gaped, then tried to turn it into a joke, but Nie Mingjue just patted him on the shoulder and went his own way.
He never pressed, never asked, just accepted things as they were. As long as Wei Wuxian’s demonic cultivation was used for righteousness and killing Wens, Nie Mingjue would let him keep any other secrets he might have, pursue any aims, let him do as he liked.
And yet it was that permissiveness that led Wei Wuxian to start to wonder if maybe he should tell Nie Mignjue what he’d done, the choices he’d make, the sacrifices – he didn’t think Nie Mingjue would judge him harshly for it. He might even understand it, especially when the only thing that made the man smile were Nie Huaisang’s occasional letters complaining about having to do all the paperwork back at the Unclean Realm where he was safe.
He still wasn’t sure, though, so he didn’t, holding himself back, and then one evening not long after he had finished forging the Stygian Tiger seal – Jiang Cheng had banished him to Nie Mingjue’s side at once upon realizing the appalling power of it, knowing as well as Wei Wuxian did that the cultivation world would be terrified if they didn’t believe it was firmly under control – Nie Mingjue told him about how his father had died. Not the part that everyone knew, his saber sabotaged, broken during a night hunt, the spiritual effect rebounding on him to drive him six months later into a qi deviation long before his time; but why the sabers were so important to the Nie clan.
The foremost mission of the Qinghe Nie was to suppress evil wherever they found it: to uphold justice and abhor that which stood against it, to strike fearlessly against it no matter what they faced, whether wind or lightning. But such a mission required blood to be spilled, blood and blood again – like the executioner who took upon himself the duty of sending criminals onwards, allowing the rest of the community to sleep untroubled, those who took on such a duty invariably became targets of resentful energy, the final vengeance of the evil they slaughtered to save the innocent.
Invariably, there were times – times of war, as there was now – when it was necessary to wield violence in pursuit of righteousness. For the Nie, unlike other sects, violence was a virtue, and it could not be purged through a retreat from the world, the application of countless treasures and cleansing rituals inaccessible to most; their philosophy did not allow them to close their eyes and ears to injustice.
And so they did not rest. They killed in the name of justice and righteousness, killed and killed again; they cultivated their sabers as spiritual weapons, letting them absorb the resentful energy from beasts and monsters in order to better defeat evil that other sects could not, and at last cultivated the saber spirits, rich in resentful energy of their own but devoted only to defeating evil. The saber spirits were nourished by the cultivation of their chosen master, their resentful energy filtered and cleansed and purified, but that process was a burden, sparking the infamously short tempers of the Nie clan, with both temper and saber spirit held tightly in check only by their iron discipline.
The Nie sect leaders, who bore on their shoulders not only their own karma but that of those who followed them – their lives were a sacrifice, always balanced on the edge of a blade: the need to always control the saber spirit, to appease it and tame it, made them more susceptible than most to qi deviation, and absent one of them breaking the seal of cultivation or some accident, that would be how they would die.
Wei Wuxian touched the Stygian Tiger seal, hidden beneath his clothing in its two halves: he’d only used it once so far, causing a gigantic massacre that had taken down an army nearly entirely on his own. As soon as that had finished, he’d known that the seal was too much for him, even after he’d broken it in two to weaken it – it obeyed any master that would have it, so full of resentful energy that it needed only the barest excuse to break free to kill without discrimination. His demonic cultivation used resentful energy the way a Nie saber spirit did, his soul directly exposed to human evil, not merely animal; he risked possession, corruption, or worse, and only his skill and his determination was enough to control it – that he’d thought was enough to control it, until he’d made the seal.
The seal pulsed angrily under his hand, seething with resentment, hungry for blood, and then unexpectedly there was a response: Baxia, held in Nie Mingjue’s hands to be sharpened, gave a pulse as well, fierce and unyielding spiritual energy rippling out from it like a rock dropped into a lake, and for the first time the seal went quiet, as if momentarily cowed.
“Has my cultivation affected my temperament?” Wei Wuxian asked, considering the possibility seriously for the first time. Lan Wangji had told him several times that demonic cultivation harmed both the body and the heart, but he’d disregarded it – he felt fine, he didn’t frenzy; so what if he was angry? Wouldn’t anyone be, after suffering as he had? How could Lan Wangji ever understand?
(If Wei Wuxian thought about it too long, he might think that Lan Wangji would understand, could understand, did, but that thought was too painful to tolerate. In his heart, he still hoped that Lan Wangji would live untouched by the pain of the world, even if he knew that it was far too late for that.)
“Yes,” Nie Mingjue said simply, and his unshakable simplicity was more troubling than a thousand of Lan Wangji’s pleas. “My Nie clan sacrifices the second half of our lives for the power to make a difference in the first; I find that trade worthwhile, but it is all for nothing if we do not control ourselves. That it is easier for us to become monsters is all the more reason for us to always put righteousness first, personal interest second; our instincts will lie to us, inflame us, and we must be unyielding and strict, trusting in tradition and law to guide us where our instincts will fail us. If you persist in your path, you will need be twice as cautious as you were before: quicker to anger is quicker to act – but once the act is done, it cannot be taken back. Whether that is a sacrifice you are willing to make remains up to you.”
Wei Wuxian’s breath caught in his throat like a sob.
Tomorrow, he promised himself. Tomorrow, he’d tell Nie Mingjue everything, and get his advice on what to do.
-
That night, they received word of a temporary gap in the Wens’ defenses in Yangquan, an opportunity to destroy one of their stockpile while the guard was changing; the source of the information was Lan Xichen, who they all trusted. The opportunity was limited by time and the need for secrecy: Nie Mingjue took a small detachment of Nie cultivators to launch a night attack, with Wei Wuxian following at a distance to capture anyone who ran into the forest to escape Nie blades.
He waited patiently in a tree, Chenqing spinning idly in his hands, his mind more than halfway thinking of ways to refine the compass of evil he’d been working on; he wouldn’t let them escape.
He waited, but nothing happened.
No one came running.
The Stygian Tiger Seal abruptly pulsed again, suddenly active in a way it hadn’t been since Baxia had suppressed it, and a pit formed in Wei Wuxian’s stomach. He stood up at once and abandoned his position, rushing forward – and yet he was still too late.
Yangquan was a trap. Wen Ruohan himself had been there, with all his most trusted soldiers, vastly outnumbering Nie Mingjue’s small force; they had been easily overwhelmed.
Watching from a tree not far from the brightly lit center camp, Wei Wuxian bit his fingers until they bled to keep from screaming: he wouldn’t be able to bear it if he had to do this again, to stand by as a mute witness while the Wen-dogs laughed triumphantly over the bodies of those he knew and loved. The Stygian Tiger Seal was hot under his clothing, resentful, wanting to kill, and he wanted to use it – but the first time had come so desperately close to going out of his control that he didn’t know if he could risk it.
What if he lost control? What if he killed those he wanted to save?
Wei Wuxian was accustomed to arrogance, to confidence, to recklessness even – but Nie Mingjue’s warning was so fresh in his ears that for what might be the first time in his life, he wavered, hesitated.
He had just about decided that he would use the seal, and damn the consequences, when someone in the Wen sect dragged Nie Mingjue forward: he had been very badly beaten, his body twisted in unnatural ways and his head cut open, blood blinding him and Baxia nowhere in sight, but against all odds he was still standing – it was almost a desecration in Wei Wuxian’s eyes to see the Wen cultivators put their hands on him the way they had put their hands on Uncle Jiang, on Madame Yu, on all those Jiang cultivators he’d lost at the Lotus Pier.
The way they had hurt Jiang Cheng, so badly that it still haunted his shidi’s nightmares, a hurt so bad that the only way out was for Wei Wuxian to –
He couldn’t let it happen again.
He didn’t have another golden core to sacrifice. If they were going to execute Nie Mingjue right now, in front of him, he would –
“Take them all back to the Nightless City,” someone ordered, instead, and Wei Wuxian’s fingers, which had wrapped around the Stygian Tiger Seal without him noticing, abruptly relaxed in relief. There was still time to make a decision about whether or not to use the seal, or to see if he could rescue Nie Mingjue and the others without it.
The entire troop moved out.
Wei Wuxian followed.
#mdzs#wei wuxian#nie mingjue#jiang cheng#my fic#my fics#this is the one#this is basically a fic already#guess we'll see if I get more prompts#i like the idea of Wei Wuxian having an overprotective big brother#I also like writing out my version of the Nie saber spirits#this should really just be a fic#Anonymous
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STARKER, by Peter B. Parker
Chapter 7: Betrayal
A/N: !!! and the plot progresses, with this absurdly long chapter (I think it’s our longest yet)!! we would love to hear your thoughts on the story so far and any ideas you have about what’s coming in the future! - bloo & bri 💕
Warnings: nff scene in the beginning, heavier angst (it’s finally starting 😈), character death mention
Masterlist ao3
————
When they walked through the doors of the fancy restaurant with the French name that Peter didn't even want to attempt to pronounce, the couple was met with a young woman standing at the hostess station, looking like she'd rather be anywhere else.
Barely looking up from the little podium where she obviously was 'hiding' her phone, she glanced at Peter as she spoke, not paying any attention to the older man beside him. "Sorry for the inconvenience, but unfortunately we're full tonight. I'd love to help you make a reservation for another time if you'd like." Her eyes moved back down as she fiddled with a pen absentmindedly.
Tony didn't respond, just smirked down at Peter from behind his dark sunglasses. 'Wait for it' he mouthed. He sniffed lightly, nose twitching.
And Peter, well he just stood there and did exactly that. His eyes wandered, landing on the small, gold metal rectangle pinned to the hostess’ black button up. Hailey, it read in flowing black script.
The woman looked up, finally, when neither of them said anything. Her eyes met Peter's again and she smiled at him, raising one of her eyebrows questioningly. "Is there a specific day you'd like?" She turned to the side and began clicking through options on the computer. "We could do next Tuesday evening, at seven-thirty?”
Tony took that as his chance, clearing his throat. He shifted and took a step closer to his husband, hand moving to rest on his lower back. “We have a reservation, actually.”
Hailey looked up, then, head turning to face Tony in response to the sound.
Peter had to bite back a laugh at the way the hostess' expression changed, leaning into Tony’s embrace.
Mouth gaping, she simply stared at them for a moment, eyes wide with shock. Then a deep flush overtook her face. Hailey hurried to speak, spluttering over her words as she straightened her posture. “Oh, God, I am- I am so sorry. Mr. Stark. So sorry, Let me just-.” With shaking hands, she began typing before turning to them a moment later, an embarrassed smile pulling at her lips. “Everything’s, um, all set for the private room you reserved, sir. M-mister Stark.”
“That’d be ‘Misters’ Stark,” Tony corrected, smiling down at Peter. He pressed a kiss to the boy’s temple, eyes closing briefly and making a delicate blush spread over his cheeks.
“Yes, of course. If you’ll both follow me, I’ll show you to your table.” Having reconstructed her mask of professionalism, Hailey grabbed two menus and gestured for the two men to follow her into the main area of the restaurant.
They walked through the deep, navy velvet curtains that were drawn and made their way through the dining area. There were tables scattered throughout, all occupied by people who looked like they had more money in their wallets than Peter had seen in his entire life up until that point.
He could feel all of their eyes on him, no doubt wondering who was so lucky as to be on the arm of Tony Stark. He could hear their scandalized whispers. And he’d honestly thought he wouldn’t know how to feel about the attention. But here he was, preening under their gazes. The teen loved everyone seeing that yes he, Peter Benjamin Parker, had somehow lucked out and captured the attention of the playboy. He certainly looked the part, in his powder blue button down (of which the top few buttons were undone, exposing a bit of his chest and the thin chains draped from his neck, but not open enough to give away the lingerie he was wearing underneath) and his tight gunmetal trousers, both by Gucci. He didn’t even want to know how much the outfit actually cost.
But he wanted everyone else to.
The warmth of Tony’s palm on the small of his back as they walked, his fingertips ghosting over the top of his ass, had something warm fizzling deep in Peter’s belly.
Once they reached the far end of the dining area, they were led into an alcove off to the side, separated by another dark curtain. There was a single table in the moderately sized room, set up for two. A bouquet of red roses sat in the middle of the white table cloth like a centerpiece. The lighting was inviting and intimate at the same time, and it was quiet, the conversations of the other patrons but a low murmur in the background.
Hailey sat the menus down on the table in their respective places before turning to the two patrons. “Here you go, gentlemen.” While the two of them sat down, Tony pulling Peter’s chair out for him, she reached for the glass pitcher of ice water and filled each of their glasses. “I’ll start you off with some water, and a server will be right with you. I hope you enjoy your visit with us here at La Brise Fraîche.” She shot them a quick smile before making a hasty exit, face once more taken over in a rosy blush.
Tony chuckled as he shifted his chair a bit closer to the table. Slipping off his sunglasses, he popped them into the pocket of his black suit jacket, in front of the little pocket square that matched Peter’s shirt. “She certainly changed her tune, huh baby?” He shot Peter a soft smile as he picked up his menu and gestured for the younger man to do the same.
Peter hummed in response to his husband’s teasing, following his lead and opening the menu in order to look it over. A frown soon formed between his eyebrows, and his eyes flicked from the parchment up to Tony’s face. “Tony,” he said softly, “this, uh, most of this is in French. I can’t- And there’s no prices on here. How do I…” He trailed off, uncertainly, all of his earlier confidence gone now that they were alone again. He felt extremely out of his element all of a sudden.
Reaching across the table, the older man brushed his fingers over the back of Peter’s hand. “It’s alright, Pete. What are you in the mood for, baby? We should definitely get some wine,” he said, winking.
Peter giggled and threw his head back a little. When he looked back over at Tony, his eyes were gleaming and he bit his lip, running the toe of his shoe from the inside of the man’s ankle up to his knee. “You trying to get me drunk, Mr. Stark?”
Tony’s gaze darkened, causing Peter’s breath to catch in his throat. “Maybe I am, Mr. Stark.”
Their waiter approached them, then, slipping through the navy drapery. “Good evening gentlemen. I’m Jacques, and I’ll be your server tonight. Can I start the two of you off with something to drink?” He smiled at them both as he spoke with a light French accent, eyes flickering between them before focusing on Tony.
The billionaire cleared his throat, not even bothering to reach for the proffered wine list. “We’ll have whatever the finest Cab Sauvignon is, and how about a Sauvignon Blanc as well?” Though he phrased it as a question, it didn’t very much sound like one, and Peter squirmed in his seat at the authoritative tone of his voice.
God, how was he going to make it through this dinner? They hadn’t even ordered yet and he was already horny.
And it only got worse from there.
The wines Tony had chosen were really strong, Peter thought to himself as he fumbled a bit with his fork, trying to twist up some of the creamy pasta on the plate in front of him. It was some sort of mushroom-based sauce, and it looked delicious. And it would be, if the numerous other dishes they had ordered and already sampled, Tony insisting that he try a little bit of everything, were anything to go by.
He was flushed from the alcohol, and inebriated enough that he was no longer bothering with trying to hold back the little sounds of ecstasy that left his mouth at each bite of the incredible cuisine.
His eyes fluttered shut once he finally managed to twist up enough pasta to put in his mouth, and the soft noise he made sounded truly indecent. He heard Tony’s sharp intake of breath and sighed contentedly as he chewed the bite of food before opening his eyes again in order to get another forkful.
Feeling his husband’s eyes boring into his skin, Peter looked up from his plate. A small whimper escaped him at the hungry look in his eyes. “Tony?”
The older man licked at his bottom lip as his eyes roved over Peter’s face. His voice was somewhat rough when he spoke, leaning forward in his seat. “You’ve got a little something there, baby,” he said lowly, bringing his thumb to his mouth to lick it before reaching across the table to swipe the digit just under Peter’s bottom lip. The small smear of glistening white came off easily, and he pressed the pad of his thumb against Peter’s lips, prompting him to open.
Another whine escaped the teen as he did so immediately, granting Tony’s finger entrance. Peter began sucking on it lightly to clean the sauce off, and he hummed once the light cream dissipated and he’d swallowed it down, allowing him to focus on the sensation of Tony’s calloused skin on his tongue.
Tony groaned softly, shifting in his chair. “Mmm, that’s my good boy.” He pulled his thumb away, smirking at the displeased noise that came from his young lover as he reached down to adjust himself in his pants.
Peter caught the movement. His own cock, which had been slightly interested since they’d left the hotel thanks to how sexy he felt in the lingerie he had slipped on, gave a slight twitch. “You hard for me, Daddy,” he asked, blinking coquettishly at the man and reaching for one of his two wine glasses, bringing the one filled with the red wine to his lips. He made a bit of a show of running his tongue from the base of the goblet up to the rim, cleaning up a rivulet of the dark, blood red liquid that had dripped down while he drank.
“Always, baby boy,” Tony said softly, keeping his eyes on Peter as he took a bite of what was left of the steak au poivre in front of him.
They continued eating, and Peter continued his teasing, until their server arrived a few minutes later to check on them. The young boy was glad the table cloth was there to hide the erection in his lap, his flush intensifying as Jacques approached them. Tony, however, didn’t look phased, continuing to eat the rest of his food and sip at the full-bodied alcohol in his glass, eyes trained on his husband.
Beginning to clear away the empty plates, Jacques spoke up. “I hope everything has been to your satisfaction, gentlemen.” When they both responded in the affirmative, he continued. “Would you be interested in ordering anything for dessert? Tonight’s special is a beautiful lavender and honey posset, it’s absolutely to die for,” he intoned, making eye contact with Peter and smiling.
Tony scowled at the interaction, sniffing lightly and narrowing his eyes a bit. “Nope, I think we’re all set…” He trailed off at the pleading look Peter gave him, big brown eyes peering over at him dolefully.
“Please, Tony,” the younger man asked, foot once again moving to rub against the inside of his husband’s leg. “I’m not sure what a, um, posset is, but it sounds really yummy, and Jacques says it’s good.” He looked at Jacques briefly, who nodded, and then back at Tony. “This is about trying new things, right?” He bit his lip for good measure, just to punctuate his little performance.
With an eye roll, Tony caved, his hand wrapping around Peter’s ankle underneath the table. He squeezed it, not ungently. “Alright,” he said, sending Jacques a quick smile as he piled the last plate into his arms. “We’ll have one of the possets, then, please.”
And he’d obviously made the right choice, as he was now watching Peter suck the remnants of the custard off of his pointer finger like it was his job to ensure that the small glass jar was spotless. “That good, sweetie?”
Peter hummed around his finger, eyes flicking up to meet Tony’s, which were once again flashing at him dangerously. His body thrummed in response, every fiber of his being screaming out in want. “It’s so good, Daddy,” he whined softly, the hand not in his mouth pressing down on the bulge in his pants. “So good.”
Sitting up straighter in his chair, Tony took a deep breath before reaching into his pocket for his wallet. He flipped through it for a moment before pulling out a stack of hundred dollar bills and slapping them down on the table. Standing, he walked around the table to Peter’s seat in order to gently pull him up and closer to him.
Peter followed willingly, stepping into Tony’s personal space and craning his neck up to that his lips could meet the older man’s. He moaned softly at the feeling of their clothed erections pressing up against each other.
“Let’s go, baby,” Tony whispered into his mouth, pulling away so that he could lead Peter out of the room and through the main dining area. He paid no mind to any of the other patrons, who were no doubt scandalized by the sight of the two of them, rumpled and clearly aroused.
Peter just flushed, grinning as he made eye contact with a few people, winking at an older lady who was looking at him with wide eyes.
Yeah, he liked people knowing he was Tony’s.
When they got back to the hotel, Tony backed Peter up against the door to the hotel room as he began to lavish his neck with kisses and bites while his hands gripped at Peter’s ass. “Fuck, baby, you look so pretty tonight,” he rasped, relishing in the way his husband jerked in his hold in response to a particularly sharp nip.
“Just for you,” Peter moaned, hands fumbling to remove Tony’s jacket. He threw it to the ground as it was shrugged off, gasping when he was lifted into the older man’s arms in order to be carried over to the bed and deposited on the covers. Kicking his shoes off, he watched as Tony did the same and rolled up the sleeves to his wrinkling white dress shirt.
Crawling on the bed to kneel over Peter, Tony reached for the buttons on the boy’s shirt and began undoing them. A low growl sounded in his throat at the first peek of black lace that became exposed. “What do we have here?”
Peter preened under his heavy gaze, pushing up onto his elbows so he could slip the shirt off his arms, exposing the black bodysuit he wore underneath. “Do you like it, Daddy?” He peered up at him from underneath his lashes.
“Like it? I love it, baby boy.” Tony trailed kisses down the teen’s chest, feeling the muscles in his abdomen twitch under in ministrations. When he reached the waistband of the dark trousers, he undid the button with practiced ease and pulled them down, pausing for Peter to lift his hips and throwing them to the floor once they were off. His eyes raked over Peter’s form, mesmerized by the sight of him spread out on the fluffy comforter, the inky lingerie creating a strong contrast. He could very clearly see Peter’s erection straining against the lace, and the wet spot that was glistening with precum.
“Daddy,” Peter whined, hips twitching upward in an attempt to get some friction. “Touch me, please.”
Tony hummed softly, eyes locking on Peter’s lips for a moment before he got off the bed in order to walk over to the kitchenette area. He rifled through the drawers for a moment, ignoring Peter’s indignant noises. When he found what he was looking for, he resumed his previous position.
Making eye contact with Peter, Tony uncapped the lid of the honey bottle and squeezed some out onto his pointer and middle fingers. “Get up, baby,” he said softly. “Kneel for me.”
Eyes wide, Peter followed the request, only wobbling a little bit as a result of the alcohol in his system.
“Now open,” Tony instructed as he brought his dripping finger’s to Peter’s lips. He groaned when the digits were enveloped in the warmth of the boy’s mouth, shivering when he started suckling, not unlike the way he treated the man’s cock. “Fuck, Peter.”
Bolstered by Tony’s words, and desperate for the sticky sweetness he was desperately chasing with his tongue, Peter whined in the back of his throat before he closed his eyes and began sucking in earnest.
Eyes blazing, Tony watched in awe as the teen fellated his fingers. His other hand moved up to grab at Peter’s unruly curls, using his grip to hold the boy still as he pressed his fingers further into his mouth.
Peter’s eyes flew open as he gagged around the intrusion, throat convulsing as Tony held him there. He whimpered, eyes watering as he struggled to breathe. He gasped when Tony eventually removed his fingers, spluttering as thick saliva dripped down his chin. “Daddy- please,” he rasped, voice already a little wrecked. “More.” His eyes flickered to the honey bottle that was laying on the bed.
Smirking, Tony snatched it up. His hands moved to his belt and began unfastening it. “Want some more dessert, baby?”
***
Peter was going to be mortified when he realized that they were able to see everything that was going on. Every lingering touch or look, every...well, every time he was with Tony was being broadcasted to SHIELD through EDITH. No matter what was going on, sensitive and tame content alike, it was all being witnessed by the agents (plus, even more uncomfortably, May and Ned.)
Unfortunately, he wasn’t aware. So it didn’t seem like he was going to stop anytime soon.
So Ned was forced to suffer through every moment of it in a room full of adults. Again, including Peter’s poor aunt. Hopefully she wasn’t paying attention, though, because it definitely would have been even more awkward for her to see. Or even think about.
Just. Ew.
Personally, he was trying to figure out if the situation was illegal. After all, Peter was seventeen. And even though technically it was all in his head, it was still explicitly sexual content that they were all witnessing, starring him.
Maybe it wasn’t the best or most relevant thing to be thinking over, but Ned was trying to ignore the reality of what was actually going on. Watching his best friend make bedroom eyes at and get railed by their deceased idol wasn’t something he was particularly fond of.
He just needed to distract himself from the...activities that kept occurring on the monitors. So he tried to keep his mind away from that part of the situation, legality and all.
What he really needed to focus on was getting Peter out. It had been nearly two weeks since Beck’s announcement that outed Peter’s identity. It had been almost two weeks since Peter had run away and gone into hiding.
They hadn’t even been able to make contact with him through May for days now. He was solely focused on Tony, just as he had been since the wedding. They weren’t sure how much longer that pattern would continue. Or if it would ever stop.
Everyone was getting more and more anxious by the day.
Ned hadn’t found any real solution yet. There were no cracks in the program, no hidden door in the code that he could sneak his way through. So far, it was all sealed tightly.
Usually, that would be considered a good thing. But it just made his job that much more stressful in the moment. They still had no location for Peter. They were yet to discover a way to shut down the illusion. All they had was the ability to send May in when Peter wanted his family there. Nothing else. And there hadn’t been much family bonding time lately.
“When do you think they’ll finally stop?” Paige wondered out loud, eyes firmly on the screen as she leaned over Ned’s shoulder.
The teen jumped at the sound of her voice, head whipping around until they nearly collided. He had no idea that she’d snuck up on him. “What? Oh.” He made a face as he processed her question. “I don’t know. Hopefully soon.” Although that was doubtful, if he was honest with himself.
She hummed in acknowledgment, nodding a little. Her eyes seemed to follow the movements on the monitor before she finally glanced away, seeming a bit flustered. “Yeah. They’ve been at it a while, huh.”
Ned had absolutely no desire to discuss his best friend’s sex life. Especially considering the circumstances. And the interest in the agent’s voice sparked something in him. Not annoyance, not at her, but something very close to that. He wasn’t quite sure how to describe it. “They kinda have. But I’m trying to not pay that much attention to all of it. I’d like to have something of a normal friendship with Peter when he’s out. I can’t do that if I spend all this time watching him get-“
“Leeds,” Fury interrupted, standing over the two young people.
Paige instantly straightened up when she heard him, a light flush overtaking her cheeks as she pushed her hair back behind her ear.
“Yes, sir?” Ned answered, slowly looking up at the man.
“Any change? There has to be something you can do to get his attention.” The director worked to keep up his hard exterior, but was obviously uncomfortable. As was everyone else.
Except maybe Paige. But Ned didn’t want to think about why that was.
Ned sighed, fingers absently tapping at his keyboard. “No. Nothing yet, sir. I’ve been looking for a way to slip through into the program more frequently, but everything is airtight. Tony Stark knew what he was doing.” He couldn’t keep the admiration out of his voice. Which was a little annoying, since the tech and designer in question was causing nothing but issues. “And Peter too, I guess,” he added, knowing that Peter had probably input quite a bit of his own code into the program.
“Do you think he knew that Peter would use the glasses for this?” Paige murmured.
Again with the interested tone. “Probably not,” Ned supplied, clicking away from the live-feed for a moment. He technically wasn’t supposed to do that, but it would make everyone more comfortable for the moment. And it made certain that agent Oliver would have to stop watching, at least for the time being. “I mean, maybe. But probably not.”
“Stark wasn’t exactly the picture of perfect morality, but I don’t think he ever imagined anything like this happening.” Fury shook his head, face contorted in visible discomfort. “Especially not from Parker. I knew he was a devious little shit but not like this.”
Ned was pretty much on the same page. He knew that Peter had his moments, but it was never anything more than normal teenage hormone-fueled...lust felt like too strong of a word, but nothing else was coming to mind. He’d never thought that Peter was even capable of the things he had seen playing out on the screen. Although, he really hadn’t thought about it too much. Or ever.
His best friend was objectively an attractive guy, but Ned had really never thought of him in anything but a platonic way. So this was a lot of stuff that he’d never wanted to see.
“I dunno, I don’t know much about him but he seems like the closeted-kinky type,” Paige offered with a slight smile pulling at her lips. “Y’know, eager to please and all? Maybe I’m the only one that sees it.”
“Can we not talk about this?” Ned said quickly, definitely louder than necessary. The annoyed-but-not feeling was back. He adjusted his glasses just so he could have something to do with his hands for a moment. “I’d rather just focus on getting him out. Or figuring out how to talk to him.”
“Leeds is right,” Fury agreed, looking at the screen again. “It wouldn’t be my first choice, and it pains me to say it, but I suggest you turn that back on. Just to be sure nothing gets missed. We need to send Ms. Parker back in as soon as he shows signs of wanting her back in.”
None of them believed that it would be happening anytime soon, but Ned begrudgingly clicked to the feed again.
“Great. Keep checking to see if there’s anywhere you can slip through, he’s already held onto that tech for too long.”
The man walked away, leaving Ned and Paige alone again.
Ned looked at the agent, giving her a smile. “So, any ideas? We’re still stuck with what we’ve got and I feel like I’ve tried everything.” He sighed heavily, looking back to the screen.
He expected to see more of the same, ‘the same’ being Peter engaging in some insanely sexual scene with no end in sight. But it seemed like they had finally stopped, as the screen was dark, Ned’s reflection looking back at him. Something that only happened when Peter fell asleep, therefore unable to keep the tech running.
“They’re asleep!” He announced to the room. Everyone seemed to collectively relax. No more having to watch a potential lawsuit.
And sleep was good news for Ned; that meant he was able to finally get some real work done without having to constantly check up on the feed. He would have about seven hours or so (going by how long the illusion was typically down for a night of rest) to work and figure out a way to shut things down without worrying about his friend waking up and realizing it. Maybe even stopping him.
Nothing had come of the other nights he’d been able to work, but he kept hoping that he’d get lucky soon. He was determined to save his best friend. He had to.
So he started the stopwatch to record how long Peter slept and then got to work.
***
Ned worked all night, but was still stuck exactly where he had been, in terms of progress. The only connection they had was through the small gap he’d been able to squeeze his own coding into to get May through. And he had a bad feeling that his ‘solution’ with that wouldn’t last for much longer.
He kept track of what Peter (and Tony, by extension) was doing as the morning went on, instantly becoming more focused when he heard a brief mention of family.
“I think it would be nice to spend another day with them,” Peter commented through the crackly speakers, seeming to pack up the countless bags that he’d acquired over the past couple of days.
Not-Tony hummed in agreement, moving to help his- husband? (Ned wasn’t quite sure how all of it worked. It was all just pretend, after all.) No matter what they were considered, Tony began helping Peter with gathering up his bags. “I think that’s a great idea. Haven’t seen them since the wedding, we should spend some time with them.”
“Yeah, just having everyone over would be nice. We could watch a movie or something. One of those old ones you like.”
Tony made an offended noise, glancing in Peter’s direction. “Just because it came out before, what, two thousand? Doesn’t make it old. You’re just a baby,” he teased.
“Cradle robber,” Peter shot back playfully, an easy smile on his face. Like what he said didn’t make Ned’s skin crawl. They joked so easily (Peter’s mind did, at least) and yet the age gap between the two seemed to become that much more apparent in the moment.
“Oh, quiet.” Tony waved one hand. “So are you thinking that you just want to go back to the tower? Or was there another idea in that pretty little brain of yours?”
“Just home. Please.” Apparently ‘home’ was the tower, where Tony had mentioned, because he nodded and smiled after the answer.
“That isn’t his home,” May said softly from somewhere behind Ned, causing the teen to turn around.
Ned leaned back in his chair, looking up at her. “I’m hoping that he remembers that,” he admitted. “But I’m sure he does,” he corrected quickly when he saw the woman’s expression fall.
“He has to. He can’t just- he can’t leave us like this. For someone who got him killed.” May’s voice took on a slightly angrier tone as she spoke. But the anger fizzled out just as quickly as it came. “I need to talk to him, Ned. Not just within his little script. I need to actually get through to him.”
The teen nodded slowly, watching her closely. He knew it was a bad idea. The mission so far was just to stick to the scene that Peter wanted and to follow his lead. Get close to him. May wasn’t nearly close enough yet. And Peter didn’t seem to be close to changing his mind in any way. “But Fury said-“
“I don’t care what he said,” May said sharply. “Peter needs his family. His real family. He needs me. Not the me he expects to play along with his little game.”
That was a dangerous thing to say, especially given how the director seemed to know everything that was going on. Ned hoped that Fury hadn’t heard her. That could possibly compromise the one advantage they had. “He does need you. But just- not yet. You have to go along with his scene right now. Just for a little while longer.”
The woman watched him, expression softening slightly. She knew that he was right. But there was nothing she wanted to do more than reach out to Peter and bring him home. To his actual home. “Okay. But I’m not going another week or whatever without him. I can’t do that shit. This has already gone on too long. He needs to be home. And if he doesn’t get it together, I’ll be bringing him back with or without SHIELD’s help.”
The last bit sounded like a threat, and it probably was. Ned knew that she missed Peter. He was her only remaining family member. And he missed him too, of course he did. He just knew that it was different because May had seen him break too many times before. And she didn’t want to see it again.
She left, presumably going back to the small room that had her setup for entering the illusion. If Peter was talking about family, she had better get ready to go in as soon as he expected her to.
She slipped the headset on and waited, heart aching as she watched Peter interacting with Tony through the screen. She’d never seen him look at anyone quite like that. With so much love in his eyes. It nearly broke her heart to think about how her goal was to take him away from that. But she felt less guilty when she thought about all she was bringing him back to.
His home. His family. His friends. Everything he needed was all here in the real world. And he’d find someone else to look at in that same way, she was sure of it. And when he did, it would be okay. Because it would be the right person and the right time.
Not a dead man who was the root of all his issues.
May held her breath as the scene changed before her eyes, transforming into the sleek and expensive interior of Stark tower once again. And as the couple relaxed in the living area, she saw how Peter’s expression shifted into one of more concentration.
And she heard the quiet ding of the elevator and knew it was time for her to slip into the fantasy again. She heard agent Oliver instructing her in the background, but she already knew what to do.
She let herself relax, getting pulled into the illusion until she was standing in the elevator with the rest of Peter’s ‘special guests.’ It still gave her an odd, sick feeling of deja vu to see Mary, Richard, and Ben all together like that. It was all wrong. But she had to act like everything was okay. Like she wasn’t horrified by being surrounded by family members (and her husband) that she’d already lost and grieved for years.
Her participation in the scene had to be perfectly in accordance with Peter’s intentions or it would all be ruined. At least that’s what she’d been told countless times. But as soon as the doors opened and she saw Peter again, every plan they’d ever discussed dropped to the bottom of her list of priorities.
She just wanted him to come home.
Peter glanced up once he heard the doors, beaming. “Perfect!” He held onto Tony’s arm gently, leaning against him. “Now everyone is here.”
They filed out of the elevator, going over to the couple. May couldn’t help but realize how off it all felt. Without Peter actively controlling the other figures, it was like they were hardly there. Nothing more than stand-ins.
It was terrifying to witness, making her that much more determined to bring the boy home. He couldn’t stay in this environment, living entirely in his mind with no real company. It would only do further damage to his mental state.
As soon as they were in a certain vicinity, the scene seemed to come to life. Suddenly there was soft chatter from the other people as they started carrying their own conversations.
May jumped when she felt a hand on her lower back, instantly wanting to bat the intruding touch away. She knew who it was before she even looked and forced herself to relax. She had to remind herself that it wasn’t her Ben. Letting herself get attached wouldn’t do her any favors. It couldn’t happen. She had to keep her focus on the goal of saving Peter. That’s what was important.
“It’s nice of them to have us over like this,” Not-Ben murmured to her. “Yknow, I like seeing Pete so happy.” He smiled a bit and May’s heart ached. There was the smile she remembered. Easy, slightly mischievous. All Ben.
“Yeah…,” she started, forgetting what they were talking about for a moment. All she could think about was her husband. She could finally have him back like this, maybe she saw the appeal-
No. She couldn’t let herself get sucked in.
“I don’t know. I’ve never been a huge fan of Tony Stark,” she whispered back, not caring about possible consequences. She had to keep her mind straight, and in that moment that required being honest.
“But he’s happy, May.” Ben’s eyes searched her face, but she knew it wouldn’t matter. He wasn’t seeing anything. And even if he did, he couldn’t do anything with the information he found. He was just another figment of Peter’s imagination.
“Yeah. For now,” she mumbled, looking away. She had to focus on what was wrong. So her brain didn’t get convinced that he really was her Ben.
He was too tall. Not by much, but just enough that it was noticeable. And it bothered her.
And he was too...muscular. Sure, he’d never been thin, but it wasn’t like this.
Then it clicked.
This Ben only existed as Peter saw him.
Of course her husband would have seemed like some big, strong man to the boy that he raised. He was Peter’s superhero. And Peter never saw anything different.
That fact shouldn’t have hurt as much as it did.
She fixed her expression, not letting her true feelings show. She still needed to focus on the task at hand, and that was getting close to Peter. She had to follow along with his scene and make sure everything was in place. Nothing could seem out of the ordinary from how he wanted it.
They all sat down, on a couch facing Peter and Tony.
Peter grinned at them, clapping his hands together happily. “Okay, so, I was thinking maybe we could play some games? That’s always fun, right?”
“Yeah, as long as you don’t cheat,” Ben mumbled with a smile. It was all just teasing.
“I would never! Mean.” The teen stuck his tongue out at him before laughing. “What should we play?”
“Monopoly?” Tony suggested, wrapping his arm around his husband’s waist.
“You’re so old,” Peter whined. Then he giggled, leaning into the touch. “Kidding. Monopoly would be fun, it just takes forever.” Good thing they had all the time in the world to play.
“And ruins families,” May said under her breath, but thankfully no one else seemed to catch it.
“No one has anything else going on, we can play for as long as we want,” the older man assured him. “Want me to go grab it?”
Peter nodded, smiling up at him. “Sure, baby. Thank you.”
Tony stood up to get the game, coming back only a moment later with the box in his hands. “I call being banker,” he said playfully. He sat down and started setting the game up on the table between all of them.
No one argued, just laughing as they kept joking and teasing each other about the entire thing.
As the night went on, the energy level never wavered. Everyone was happy and relaxed, excited to be around each other.
Everyone except for May.
She hid it well, playing along, but inside she was deeply bothered by all of it. Nothing felt right, no matter how the others were acting. None of them were real. It was just her and Peter.
She watched as Tony reached out for his “husband” again and her stomach flipped. She was tired of watching them behave like that and pretending it was okay.
“Don’t touch him.”
The words left her mouth before she could stop them and the guilt set in instantly. She had just ruined the whole mission.
But now she could try things her own way.
Tony’s hand pulled away from Peter immediately, the confusion clear on his face. And May knew that the expression was only reflecting what her nephew was feeling.
“May, he can touch me. He’s my husband, after all. We got married, remember?” Peter shot her a smile, cuddling up to the other man. He tried to brush it off as how protective she always was. Maybe that was just bleeding into his projection of her.
“No, he isn’t, Peter.” May’s voice shook as she stood up, trying to move closer to him. “He isn’t real. You know that. None of this is real.”
“You’re not real,” he said quietly, eyes wide as he tried to figure out what was going on. That wasn’t supposed to happen. But as much as he tried to focus, she wouldn’t go back into place. Things wouldn’t go back to how he wanted them.
What was happening?
“Yes, I am. I’m the only real one here. It’s just you and me, Peter.” She met his eyes, looking desperate. “It’s me, baby. It’s actually me, I’m here. Please come home, this isn’t good for you. You need to come home and give the tech to Fury so-“
“No,” he said quickly, seeming to snap out of his confusion. “Tony gave it to me. It’s mine. No one else’s. And this is my home.” He glared at her, moving into Tony’s arms more.
How had SHIELD hacked May into the program? There shouldn’t have been any way for them to do that. He’d worked on the security coding himself, adding onto what Tony had already designed.
“Did I?” Tony mumbled, looking like he was trying to remember. What tech was being used? It seemed like they were just in the tower, nothing out of the ordinary.
But May ignored him. She continued tearfully. “Your home is with me. Your home is in the *real world*, not this thing you’ve made up! You can’t stay here!” She was getting more frantic.
“No, May. I can stay here. Maybe you should, too.” He watched her, trying to keep himself calm. He needed to regain control over the illusion. Maybe he wouldn’t have to lose anything. He just had to convince her to stay.
“I’ll be doing no such-“
“What’s the issue?” Ben cut in, moving to stand next to May. But he wasn’t going to help her. He was looking directly at her. “You could stay, couldn’t you. Right here. What’s the harm in that?” He grabbed her hands, brushing against her wedding ring.
The one she knew was buried in her closet, amongst the other things that reminded her of him too much to leave strewn about the apartment but she couldn’t bear to completely get rid of.
But it all felt so real.
“You’re dead,” she whispered, her own tone surprising her. She sounded terrified and just as weak as she had in the time right after he died. “I can’t stay. You’re gone and never coming back. All of you are.” Except for Peter, who didn’t want to be saved.
Ben smiled at her, like he’d expected the answer. Then he leaned in, pressing a gentle kiss to her forehead. Like he had a thousand times when he was alive. “I’m here now, May. Isn’t that enough?”
She hated how real it all felt. How tempting it was. She hated how she could feel his lips against her skin and how easily it pulled her back into the denial she’d felt right after the accident.
Maybe she could stay. She could have him back, live out life like they were supposed to. They were supposed to be together until they were old and grey until finally going from natural causes. Old age. His murder couldn’t touch them here.
It would be so easy to just stay.
But she knew that she couldn’t. It wasn’t possible. It would only destroy her mind to stay with him. And if she wasn’t taking care of her physical body then what would happen? She had to go. Staying wasn’t an option. She just had to convince him of that as well.
She stepped away from Ben, ignoring how much it hurt her to do so. Then she turned to Peter again, moving closer. Maybe if she could just hold him-
His eyes narrowed more as he watched her. He pushed her away when she tried to get closer again, instantly feeling guilty. But he wanted to keep her away. She was trying to take everything from him. If she didn’t want to stay, fine. She could go.
But he wasn’t going to lose this too.
“Get away from me,” Peter snapped, staying close to Tony. He looked almost protective, although he knew that physically it was impossible for anything to happen. “This is my home. Here. With him. And my family.”
May was still shocked at how he’d shoved her. He’d never behaved in such a way before, no matter how things had gotten. And he’d never been so angry, not at her. Not at anyone.
Where did her boy go? What happened to him?
“Peter, please,” she begged. “You can’t live like this. It might seem good for now, but you’re just going to hurt yourself. Please, you’ve gotta shut it down and tell us where you are. We’ll come get you and everything will be okay. SHIELD is working on fixing what happened with Mysterio, you can-“
“I’m not going anywhere! And I’m not telling you where I am, you’ll just make me stop!” There were tears welling in his eyes and his voice was shaking despite how strong he attempted to sound.
All May wanted to do was wipe those tears away and pull him in for a hug like she’d done countless times before. But she had a feeling that was a bad idea.
She felt so helpless, watching him from afar. She was losing him and she knew it.
That hurt more than anything else.
“Baby, please,” she murmured gently. “You can come home. Everything is going to be okay. We can get you some help,” she said slowly.
“I don’t need help. I need this.” And no one would take it away from him. “EDITH, find however she got in. Patch the hole. Make sure it won’t happen again.”
“Yes, Peter,” The AI answered, almost sounding nervous. If that was even something she was capable of.
Fear flashed through May as she stared at him. “Peter, please, don’t shut me out.”
“You’re not taking this from me. Everyone has taken everything from me!” Tears streamed down his face freely. “I get to keep this one thing. I get to have them all back. And you can’t take that. No one can. I won’t let you.”
“Peter, you need to come home. I miss you, we all miss you so much, baby. Please!”
“I miss you too. That’s why I wanted you here. But you messed it all up. You could have stayed here with me. With Uncle Ben.” He wiped his eyes, trying to calm himself.
“I’m sorry, baby, you know I can’t.”
“So you have to leave.” He was informed that EDITH found the coding that had been put in and she started fixing it.
“I love you, Peter. Please, think about what you’re doing,” she begged him. She was pushed from the illusion, still able to see through her headset but she couldn’t interact anymore.
“I love you too. But I’ve already thought about it. This is where I belong.”
Her screen went dark.
She ripped the headset off and threw it, burying her face in her hands. She’d fucked it all up.
And she’d lost him. He didn’t want to come home.
He wasn’t going to come home.
Agent Oliver rushed in, wincing when the tech hit the wall. It was probably broken now, but that could be dealt with later. She’d just watched everything play out on the screen, just like the others had. May was the first priority. “Ma’am-“
“I’m going home.” She looked up, eyes red like she was holding back tears. She pushed her glasses up and sniffled. “I’m leaving. This entire operation is pointless.” She stood up, quickly leaving the room without looking back.
“Ms. Parker, please, we’ll figure out another way,” Paige followed after her.
“May?” Ned looked up from his computer, quickly wiping away his own tears. There was enough to deal with, he could hold it together. He still had to figure out how to save Peter. “Please, don’t go. Not yet.”
She looked at him, but shook her head. “I’m going home. I can’t...I can’t do this. I messed it up, you’ll be better off without me. I can’t help you anymore. I’m sorry.”
As she walked away, she heard other people calling after her. Probably Fury, some other agents. But she didn’t turn around. She needed to get out.
Unlike Peter, all she wanted was to go home.
The drive to the building was short, her brain in a fog the entire time. She didn’t let herself feel. She couldn’t yet. Not until she was in the safety of the apartment.
Her car was parked and she was going up the elevator before she knew it. She blinked, slightly disoriented. She kept her eyes closed during the ride up, almost convinced that she would see Peter again when the door opened.
Of course, she didn’t. And she walked to the door of the apartment, posture defeated. Her whole body felt heavy, weighed down.
As soon as she put the key in the lock, the door opened and Happy pulled her into his arms.
“The kid called me,” he told her gently.
Her heart skipped a beat when he said that, hoping maybe he meant Peter. Maybe he changed his mind.
“The one you’ve been working with. At SHIELD,” he clarified, seeing the look on her face.
With that, she promptly dissolved into tears.
May Parker was a strong woman. She didn’t cry often. And even less often around other people.
But too much had happened, even for her. And she knew that Happy wouldn’t go anywhere no matter what she said. That he would stay, that he wouldn’t let anything happen to her. So she let herself cry, not holding anything back.
Everything was falling apart. Each tear that fell reminded her of it all. The guilt, the hurt, the anger she’d felt. The reopened wound of missing Ben. The aching void in her heart where Peter was missing.
Her boy didn’t want to be saved. So what was there that she could do?
Maybe this was just another loss that she’d have to learn to live with.
#starker#peter parker#tony stark#tony x peter#tony stark x peter parker#SbPBP#B&B write#Peter’s EDITH!verse#starker angst#nff#mention of character death
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Hiiii can you write prompt number 4 from the first list kinda need some Jolex rn
pick up the pieces & build a lego house
It’s only when she looks up from unpacking and notices how dark it is, does she realise how much time has passed. Disregarding the box she’d just ripped open she decides her husband had been far too quiet for far too long. She’s not sure when his gruff voice mumbling a string of curse words as he tried to assemble what felt like a never-ending amount of baby crap they’d decided to leave till the last minute had filtered out but it had definitely been a while since she’d heard him gain another self-inflicted injury.
“Alex?” She calls out, shifting up off the floor, one hand curled around her burgeoning bump. She lets out a deep breath as she waddles her way towards the staircase, calling out to her husband once again. The second they’d said goodbye to the loft she’d regretted it, space was overrated, having everything in one room might have seemed a little crowded but Jo would rather call it convenient. Her short temper begins to flare as she calls out for a third time with no response. Annoyed Jo makes her way up the stairs, feeling a little out of breath as she reaches the top, all courtesy of their big-headed baby getting all up in her lungs.
“Alex I swear if you’ve made me come all the way up these stairs and you aren’t dead I’ll kill you myself.”
As she rounds the corner of the nursery, it takes her a second to catch sight of her husband in between all the boxes, with all excess wrapping laid out...the room resembles a junkyard more than it does a nursery.
And there he was, in between all the chaos leaning back against the crib that she’d instead he put up now, he’d cushioned himself against an excessively large teddy bear his godchildren had picked out. His face scrunched up like he was almost in pain, mumbling faintly under his breath and Jo has to tiptoe closer to hear him.
“Babies don’t crunch like that...”
Jo has to stifle a laugh as Alex tosses side to side lightly mumbling utter nonsense about BBQ chips being less baby like then sour cream ones.
“I don’t wanna crush the baby like chips you know?” His voice sounds rough, half-asleep. Jo clamps a hand over her mouth as she makes her way over, she clears her throat, as she leans down in front of him, brushing some of his hair out of his face, it had grown a little unruly in lockdown and after her first attempt at playing hairdresser, he promised to never let her near him with scissors again.
“Sorry,” she whispers, a soft smile playing on her lips as she kneels down resting on the new plush rug as his sleepy eyes find hers, “I didn’t mean to wake you.” She can tell he’s a little disoriented as he sits up, rubbing his eyes for a moment.
His confused face only makes her smile brighter. She is not surprised to find him asleep up here, he’s been exhausted these last few weeks. Between her midnight cravings, the house move and the constant updates from both hospitals he really wasn’t getting the chance to rest much and no doubt that wasn’t gonna change anytime soon.
Before Alex even has a chance to respond she moves in closer, her lips meeting his, kissing him slowly as his hands slide up her body resting over her bump. They’d spent most of her pregnancy apart...not what either one of them had imagined but when the pandemic hit very little was known about its effects and so of course Jo was made to isolate and while Alex had wanted nothing more than to stay home with her, he was still the chief of a hospital unequipped to deal with the level of patients coming in and they both knew deep down he was needed elsewhere. They’d managed somehow, a lot of FaceTime at the baby scans and car park meetings from six feet apart. There were people worse off, they knew that. But when Jo had hit seven months Alex couldn’t keep away any longer, he was already battling with the guilt of missing so much. So home he came, home, however, was actually all their belongings stuffed into various cardboard boxes all just waiting to be moved across town.
“This is going to sound cheesy but… I love when you’re half asleep and talking nonsense...you’re adorable.”
He laughs and smiles against her lips as he begins to rub soft circles across her bump. “Adorable probably isn’t the word I’d use.”
“Really? What would you use?” Jo grins, as she settles beside him leaning back against the crib that wouldn’t see any use for a long while yet. See while Alex had been working Jo had been left feeling pretty useless, I mean if there was ever a time doctors need to step up it was now and yet here she was trapped at home, watching the news on a loop. Finding their new home had given her something to do, something that didn't make her feel useless.
“Oh, you know handsome...incredibly sexy?” Alex smirks, lifting her legs so they laid out across his lap, his warm hand resting on her thigh.
“Oh you’re right...you taking a nap on a giant teddy bear, mumbling about chips of all things is incredibly sexy.”
“Glad you agree...” Alex smiles, resting his forehead against Jo’s. Here it’s so easy to forget what's going on outside when it’s just the two...or three of them. No one’s sick or dying, here in these four walls they’re safe. They’re home.
Something Jo never really had before she met Alex. A place where their children would always call home, they wouldn’t drag their stuff in a rubbish bag from one crappy place to the next. No here is where they’ll take their first steps and get startled by the flash as Alex struggles to get in on video. Downstairs by the entrance is where they’ll mark their height as they grow and Jo and Alex will mark theirs as they shrink in old age. Outback will be filled with memories of badly burnt BBQs, water gun fights and snow castles. A home where no matter how dark and scary things get outside will always be filled with love.
I can’t remember the last time I did a request. I’ll be honest I’m too scared to even go through my asks but I saw this one and I really enjoyed writing a little fluff with no plot.
Thanks for reading.
#alex karev#jolex#jo wilson#jo karev#greys anatomy#greys abc#greysanatony#justin chambers#greys#camilla luddington#Jolex fanfic#Jolex fanfiction#Jolex oneshot
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WIP Update - 5 Jul 2023
A slightly higher-than-average writing week with almost half my word count on one fic! I touched 6 fics (1 WIPs & 5 new works) for a total of 2934 words.
On Ao3, I posted:
Blowing Off Steam - WinterHawk FWB PWP with light D/s
Chapter 2 of A Sugar-Coated Pill - sugar daddy!Alpha!Bucky and sugar baby!omega!Tony fake (at least for now) relationship hijinks.
WinterIron Bingo - July 2023 Round Robin - Bucky & Natasha fake dating vs Bucky’s crush on Tony = hijinks.
On Tumblr I posted:
There Would Be No Courage Were It Not For Hope - Bucky & Tony --> Bucky/Tony plus pride parade floats!
I have 17 semi-active WIPs 😬 with my current deadlines being the July Break Bingo (ends 31 Jul), WinterIron Pride Prompt Party (extended thru 15 Jul) and Hot Bucky Summer, which ends 31 Aug.
See below cut for what I’m working on/planning to work on - arranged more or less by bingos/challenges/etc. As always, feel free to send me prompts or plot bunnies as well as asks regarding any of these projects or any other WIPs I’ve got out there. Interaction really helps feed the Muse and keep me motivated!
Seek & Destroy Collab
After reading @psychiccatpanda‘s amazing Morguna and the Green Queen, I got the itch to explore the Soldier’s POV and talked Faustie into collab’ing with me! We’re working on a new part of the series, and I’ve contributed about 900 words towards the 2500-ish we have so far. Going to see if I can squeeze any of my BBB squares into this fic.
Bucky Barnes Connect Four Alt-Juniverse Event (BBE_C4)[ends 30 Jun 2023]
Managed to complete two cards with seven fanfics (combined two squares for one fic) MASTERPOST
* C4 - Friends with Benefits – Posted Blowing Off Steam - WinterHawk post-mission PWP. It crossed over with my BBB Present Tense square and BBE_HBS Week Four: Choking prompt and came in at 1249 words.
WinterIron Pride Prompt Party [WI_PPP] (Ends 30 Jun)
While this daily prompt event hosted by the WinterIron Discord server technically ended on 30 Jun - they’ve extended the event to mid month, so I may try to get another couple of fills in as well as existing ones copied to Ao3 and added to the collection
I’ve completed twelve prompts with Tumblr ficlets so far: Day 1: First Meetings = Potential for Retribution; Day 2: Yearning = Dressing for the Occasion ; Day 3: Gender Euphoria = Where Will He Be Tomorrow? Day 4: Dragons are Gay = A Shift in Their Relationship; Day 5: Fluidity = Tony Stark’s Pride 101; Day 6: Internalized Homophobia = Two Lists Day 7: Questioning = Solving for X and Day 9: Older Gays = All the King’s Horses. Day 12 - Audacity = Make Way for a Fabulous Tomorrow Day 19: Armored Heart = Music to His Ears Day 20: Both Are Good = Both. Both is Good Day 30: Hope = There Would Be No Courage Were It Not For Hope
July Break Bingo [JBB_23] (Ends 31 Jul)
Signed up for a 3x3 card for this all fandoms, no minimums bingo (signups open til 15 Jul) because of course I need more prompts! 😁😬
* B3 - Pining/Longing/Being Needy - this might fit in nicely with A Sugar Coated Pill or Technicalities.
* C3 - Mutual Pining -- See above for possible WIP usage or maybe use this as an excuse to get my Centerfold Stucky fic finally started..
Hot Bucky Summer [BBE_HBS] (Ends Aug 30)
Another @buckybarnesevents event, this time with weekly smexy prompts. I’d like to complete at least two fics/chapters per month for this challenge.
Week Four: C Prompts: Choking – See BBE_C4 - Friends with Benefits above
Week Five: “When I First Met You..” + Fireworks - filled this with Chapter 2 of A Sugar-Coated Pill - combining with WIB Dancing and BBB Pet Names prompts. After attending a few events together, Bucky and Tony start to get more comfortable around each other. It came in at 1087 words and posted on 6/30.
Week Eight - “How did you meet?” + High Stakes Op - Chapter 3 of A Sugar-Coated Pill will fill these prompts - and I’ll throw in my WIB AU: A/B/O square for this as well. Bucky is hosting a donor party at his own home with quite a bit of help from Tony, who in turn asks a favor. This chapter is drafted as well and sitting at 1229 words - it may get tweaked a bit before posting on 7/21.
Week Nine: “Where do you want me?” + in my lap – cheating a bit and going back to the Week Three prompts. This will be where A Sugar-Coated Pill finally gets steamy… probable crossover with WIB Eye Contact During Sex prompt and possibly Old Ghosts from my TSB card if I want to go a bit angsty (that or something spicy from adoptables at next weekend’s TSB Discord party!) It’s currently sitting at 190 words and will post on 7/28.
All Caps Bingo [ACB_R1] (Ends 30 Sep)
I’ve got thirteen completed fics, two WIPs and will be pursuing the One Fill, One Bingo Challenge for Row 5.
* I1 - Mutual Pining - may combine with something on my BBB card - see if the Centerfold fic idea fits in here.
* G1 - Isaiah Bradley - Planning to add more to The Fist, Defeated. (possibly present day)
* G3 - Established Relationship - planning to fill this with Chapter 2 of Half of the Flesh and Blood That Makes Me Whole - a Bucky POV remix of at least the first part of Take What Was Wrong (And Make it Right), which is current sitting at 52 words. I’m expecting at least one more chapter, possibly two, depending on how far I want to take the remix.
* O3 - Pararescue Sam Wilson - may try to squish this into an expansion of A Rising Star - a previous Flash Fiction Friday fill.
Sam Wilson Bingo [SWB_R3] (Ends 15 Oct 2023)
I have four fills and one WIP - I need to work on cross fills between this and the All Caps and Bucky Barnes bingo!
* B3 - Rivals Turned Allies - posted How Far We’ve Come to Ao3 (previously on Tumblr). A Sam POV self-reflective double-drabble.
* G3 - Joaquin Torres - see ACB Pararescue Sam Wilson above.
WinterIron Bingo - [WIB_R1] (Ends 16 Dec 2023)
I have eleven fills completed and two WIPs for this brand-new bingo event that I’m helping mod! Along with crossfilling against my other bingos, I’m going to try to combine my B column squares for the Iron Soldier badge (complete a bingo with a single work). – Alpha Tony Stark, “That was not my intention.”, James Rhodes,Alpine loves Tony and Blind date.
* I2 - AU:A/B/O - will pull this into Chapter 3 of A Sugar-Coated Pill
* N1 - Bucharest – I think I can fold this into a future chapter of My Love is Vengeance - where a young!Tony and a recovering!Bucky have been kidnapped by Hydra, who still thinks Bucky is the Soldier.
* G1 - Playing the Piano - used this for last weekend’s WinterIron Bingo - July 2023 Round Robin - Bucky & Natasha fake dating vs Bucky’s crush on Tony = hijinks
* G2 - Eye contact during sex - see Week Three of BBE_HBS above
* G4 - AU: College Students – looking to expand Beaten to the Punch with some backstory on Bucky and Tony as science camp counselors to fit with this square - will also cross over with my WFB Volunteering Together square.
* O5 - Gentle – use this poem as inspiration?
* JUNE ADOPTABLE - Dancing - see Week Five of BBE_HBS above.
Stucky’Verse Bingo Round 1 - [SVB_R1] (Ends 22 Dec)
Two fills, two WIPs and a couple of ideas - I need to review my card for potential crossfills and other idea sparks.
* A4 - Fairy Tale Curse - this seems custom-made for a continuation of Beyond the Beast 😁 Nothing written yet, other than some Vague Ideas.
* B1 - Beta/Omega Relationship - Chapter 1 of Finding Something Fresh is written - Beta!Bucky and omega!Steve meet cute at the farmer’s market. It was supposed to be a one-shot, but the idea grabbed a hold of some brain cells so....? It’s coming in at 404 words and will probably post next Wednesday.
* B3 - Tied to a Bed -- this will probably be Chapter 3 of Finding Something Fresh just so you know.... 😁
* D4 - Edging - will probably use this for the next chapter of Technicalities
* D5 - Trust Issues - may get used for Chapter 2 of Finding Something Fresh as Bucky & Steve work out the next steps in their relationship.
* Adoptable - Things Have Changed -- this might fit nicely with my Centerfold idea... :: ponders::
Bucky Barnes Bingo - [BBB_R5] (Ends 10 Jan 2024)
I’ve got seven fills, five WIPs (!!) and a couple more Vague ideas.
* B4 - Shapeshifters - wrote . A Shift in Their Relationship as a crossover with the WI_PPP prompt Dragons are Gay. This came in at 404 words and will be posted to Ao3 before this event is over.
* U2 - Clint Barton/Hawkeye - Dredged up my year-old Winter Soldier/ young Clint WIP You Can’t Stop It With a Gun. Chapter 3 was already in progress and is drafted at 928 words and will post on Friday.
* U4 - Present Tense - see BB_C4 Friends with Benefits above
* C1 - Pet Names - see Week Five of BBE_HBS above
* C2 - Yelena Belova – The plan is to use this prompt in the next chapter of Peresmešnik, (aka Three Avengers and a Baby) , which is currently sitting at 1100 words (400-ish of which are mine).
* C5 - Marriage of Convenience/Pretend Couple - next chapter of Lady Natasha’s Consort and Lord Steve’s Companion. Not quite sure where to take this next at the moment. 😕
* K3 - Magic - Aro!Bucky sickfic idea? * Y2 - [image: IW Bucky with the good hair] A Flash Fiction Friday prompt [#FFF198 What Comes Next] was a perfect match for an idea I’d already been playing around with to fill this square. I banged out Getting Prepared -(updated title = Preparations) an A:IW missing scene set between the time that T’Challa and Okoye come for Bucky and the moment he sees Steve again. I will post it to Ao3 sometime in the next month or so.
* Y3 - Alpine - see WIB Iron Soldier combo.
* Y4 - Forgotten Things - using this for Chapter 4 of You Can't Stop It With a Gun - it’s sitting at 116 words at the moment.
Tony Stark Bingo Round 7 - [TSB_R7] (ends 15 Feb)
One fill and two WIPs already, with a couple of ideas in play.
* S1 - Galaxy - possibly use in final chapter of Never More to Go Astray ?
* R4 - Playing Games - filled this with last weekend’s TSB Discord Party Round Robin -- my part came in at 327 words and it should get posted by the end of the week.
* R5 - Doppelganger/Evil Twins - this will probably cross over with my Stony AUniverse AU: Crack square as I have a semi-silly idea for it, inspired by seeing a T shirt of mine in a mirror.
* K3 - Pairing: Tony/Pepper - Expanding a bit on Starting Something New , so I can crossfill with my Tony Stark Bingo square Pairing: Tony/Pepper The ficlet is now sitting at 396 words and will post sometime soon.
Stony AUniverse Bingo [SAUB_R1] (ends 15 Feb)
Another brand-new bingo I’m helping co-mod! Got my card and square swaps sorted, and have several crossover WIPs and ideas already!
* S2 - AU: Crack - see TSB Doppelganger/Evil Twins
* S3 - AU: Wings - see ACB Established Relationship
* S5 - Accidental Baby Acquisition - see BBB Yelena Belova
* T1 - AU: Fantasy - CoffeeOwl shared a really cool dragon!Steve/indebted!Tony prompt in the ACB Discord server that I may be playing with for this.
* N1 - AU: Spy - I want to expand on/add backstory to Keeping All My Secrets Safe Tonight from the Stony Drabbles challenge earlier.
Warm and Fluffy Bingo - [WFB] (no end date)
I got my card from @warmandfluffybingocards back in February but really hadn’t done much with it - however, I’m picking it back up for some crossover possibilities!
* N4 - Affectionate Teasing – see TSB Pairing: Tony/Pepper above
* O5 - Volunteering Together – see WIB AU: College Students
————
On other creative fronts: I have an Original Character Stuffed With Character figure in progress - one of several commissions from last week’s con. I will be making an announcement about commissions sometime in July so if you’re looking for one of a kind gifts for birthdays or other celebrations, check out Stuffed With Character over on Facebook for a full list of my designs (now over 100!). These soft stuffed figures are mostly Marvel and monsters, but I have some Star Wars, Star Trek, DC and Disney figures as well. Plus I love to take custom design requests for any fandom!
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