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spidybaby · 1 month

Text

The "A" Team

Summary: Kylian needs your help to get out of an awkward situation.

Warnings: none ❤️

Kylian was impatient, knee bouncing as a sign of it.

He was in a PSG meeting, all the players needed to be there for a very long talk about the new season changes with Luis Enrique.

Kylian was leaving, but that didn't mean he wasn't forced to go. He tried his best to get out of there.

He wasn't going to be there for the new season, so why was he there?

Hakimi and him were making jokes and messing with Ousmane and Fabian. Earning a few glares from the technical team and making them stop.

He needed a plan, he wanted to get out of there. He was thinking about taking a nap, he felt tired.

"Don't yawn again, you're making me yawn." Achraf hit him with his arm. "Why are you even here for? You're fired."

"I'm not fired." He says, the sassy tone makes Achraf smile. "I put up my two weeks."

"Six months better say." Ousmane joins. "Kylian Saint Germain ain't going to be Kylian Saint Germain anymore." He jokes, sad that at the end his friend will leave the team.

Kylian laugh, he can't deny that he will miss the team, the trainers, the family he created there, and people who he will forever love.

When they give them a few minutes to get something to eat or drink at the little table they set for that, Kylian got an idea.

You were home, resting from a flue. You were free to help him to get out of there. Maybe if you called him he can fake an emergency.

He texted you, ready to settle the plan and make it work in the next fifteen minutes he has to use his phone and to eat something.

You were doing some tv marathon, watching Sponge Bob while eating some popcorn. When your phone rings, you check that kylian was asking you to call him in five and ask him to pick you up.

You smile, he was bored and helpless with the talk.

Credit of the pic to: @kylianmbappee, thank you for letting me use it for this ❤️✨️

You continue watching Sponge Bob, waiting for the time to go. When you checked if the five minutes passed, you were ready to act.

Kylian was with Achraf, Fabian and Luis Enrique when his phone rang, he smiled. "Lover boy can't spend a moment without his lady." Fabian says.

"C'mon, let us say hi to our favorite girl." Achraf jokes. He always request to talk to you and mess with you over the phone.

"Let me put her on speaker." He smiles, he knows the show is about to start. "Bonjour, bébé."

"Kylian, oh my God, please, I need you." You fake cry, it sounds so real that he almost forgets about your plan. "I don't know what happened, I don't have anyone to call, please come. I don't want to be alone here, ky please."

The looks of the three men is a poem, the worried eyes, and open mouths. They're down.

"Joder, where is she?" Fabian says, he's very much worried about you. "Joder, Ky you need to go."

He was about to turn to where they were seated when you kept going.

"Kylian, please hurry. I need you here." You cry harder this time.

"Kylian, go. This meeting can wait." Luis pushed him to the door. They all are worried. "Hurry, go."

He takes the speaker off, you still acting up and crying for help. He asks you where you are, pretending to be worried, and he wins a few glares of people around them.

"I'm on my way, amour, wait please." He grabs his coat, Achraf is asking him is he needs a ride, he shake his head no. "Don't hang up, I'm on my way."

"Text me when you're with her." Hakimi pats his back as he runs to the door. "Be safe."

He exited the club quickly, telling his driver to take him home. Once they're two blocks away from the club he laughs.

"You're such a great actress. If you want, I can get you a role on a show." He jokes with you. "I'll be home in a few, mon amour."

"Bring me some boneless and a soda, a big one, like really big." You say, hungry after that big role you pull. "And some dessert, maybe two pieces of cake." You exaggerate.

"Everything for you, I'll be there as soon as I get your things."

You smile knowing that your role was good and you will have your man all the evening with you.

While he gets back to you, you are still streaming Sponge Bob, realizing and thinking about what a krabby patty taste like.

"Amour, I'm home."

You turn your head to him, getting up and walking to him with your arms open, ready to greet your lover.

"Hello, Mister Mbappé, I heard your girlfriend had a thing going on, poor girl. She's really unstable." You kiss him, smirking about your joke.

"She is, but you know what they say, the crazier the better." He kisses you again, pecking your lips many times until he pulls away.

"I got you your wings and your cake, plus the biggest soda I could purchase." He hug you from the back, pointing at all the things he got you.

You two sit down to watch a movie, not thinking much about the day or the meeting.

"Hakimi just texted me, he's asking if I'm okay." You show him the text. "I'm just going to ignore it for the day."

"Yeah, I left my phone on airplane mode." He smirks. "I'm spending some time with my fav member of our A team."

"We're an A team." You smile, hugging him while cuddling on the couch.

🪷🪷🪷

203 notes · View notes

petalpathic · 9 months

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"And one day, your name didn't make me smile anymore."

You are a star. A sensation. Everybody loves you.

And get this;

You're cast in a hit tv-show called "Encore", it's a sweet small-town story about a group of kids unlikely to hang out, finding each other one day in an oddly specific circumstance, where they find out how alike they really are.

Cliche? Probably. But, the people you met on set changed your life.

You're a lot like your on-screen character in that way.

Anyways, you're big and it's crazy, unlike anything you could ever imagine. Cameras, interviews, fans, autographs, blah blah blah.

And then,

you die.

FEATURES

-come back to life

-say hello (and bye, then hello again) to Hollywood

-5 potential suitors mmmm....(two female, two male, one secret)

-watch as everyone you've loved loses themselves in grief

-play as female, male, or nb

-maybe try not to die again okay? for all our sakes?

This game is just supposed to be fun! This is my first IF, and while I can be serious, I'd like this to be a fun little project to escape to (for you and for me).

But... this is also Hollywood we're talking about...so there might be some heavy topics unsuitable for some readers.

TW for: mentions and uses and abusing of substances (drugs), sexual harrassment of a major character, optional sexual content (not extremely explicit, it'll probably be pretty vague), implied death of a major character (besides MC), and maybe more.

That list (as well as this intro page) will be updated as I write and flesh out some character bgs.

MAIN ROs

Vanessa "Nessa" Villanueva | F | SHE/HER

The "It Girl". She was cold when you met her but she’s even colder and emotionally unavailable than ever.

romance-able by all genders

Kate Santos | F | SHE/HER

She is awkward, but not shy. Her dark and sarcastic humor get her in some trouble with the more conservative of people.

romance-able by all genders

Kyle "Ky" Taylor-Hara | M | HE/HIM

The model and heartthrob, Ky Taylor-Hara. He came into the cast with the last season and you’ve known him to be soft-spoken and quiet.

romance-able by all genders

Austin Arison | M | HE/HIM

Austin was a child actor and has been in the industry for as long as he can remember. Being in "Encore" was the only time he felt like he actually wanted to act.

romance-able by all genders

LINKS

DEMO TBA | PINTEREST | RO APPEARANCES |

Asks are always welcome and encouraged!! Please ask about my silly little game <3

#twine wip #interactive fiction #if wip #if : encore #if game #upcoming if #intro #interactive fiction wip #wip #twine if #twine game

332 notes · View notes

vitzi9 · 2 months

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Pretty gifts

Joker X GN!Reader

TW/CW: reader is androgynous, murders, talking about kys, work in catering (it needs its own warning), reader curses a lot, mention of vomit, stalker, reader throws up, racism, Gotham is hell and fuck capitalism, blood, violence

tbh i'm a little sad bc nobody ever give their opinion on my works. I put another divider (like the red heart below) in the middle of the story, not really to separate as it's following directly but bc some people find my stories too long so it's like a checkpoint. So when you leave, you know where you were. (It's really long)

also the end is a little weird bc I have no idea if this fandom is still alive so, yeah :) if people are reading, I might continue it. Thing is some ppl find this Joker ugly so...

I hope you'll enjoy this. (19/02/2024) (17k)

You weren't weird by any mean, okay ? Life in Gotham is just really hard. You got harassed, robbed and assaulted more times than you can count. And each time by a new profile type ! Old, young or teen, it doesn't matter, everyone is desperate.

Some of your colleagues at work are prostituting themselves and you for sure considerate selling feet pictures.

That's how life is in Gotham.

But weird ? You stare at the angry man before you, unimpressed. You can't believe he called you weird as well as an incestuous result. You're neither of these. Fuck, how is weird and incestuous his first thought when insulting someone ? Like, he could've called you a fucker, a bitch... Anything !

Your aggressor, if you can even call him that after this, shows you his middle finger while walking background. Quickly though, he loses his balance and fall on the ground. Well, at least he didn't beat you up !

You already got assaulted for your money, which you don't even have, you got two jobs and barely reach the minimal wage. But at the end of the day they, well, stole the few you have, you know ? When you think about it, he strongly smelled like alcohol. That's probably why he failed his attempt.

Even stealing is death here. You never know who you're facing. Hell, just yesterday a guy was killed because he tried to assault some big chief of a mob. Someone with a clown face. TV says the man's limbs were still not all found.

Shit, getting killed by a clown must be mad humiliating too.

You sigh, trying to ease your tired traits by passing your hand on your face. At least the day is over, right ? Another day closer to death. You drag your suddenly much more heavier body on some few meters/yards more, silently praying that no one else will bother you.

Thankfully, your cries were heard. Pushing the old creaking door of the building, you rush to the mailbox. Never have you been comfortable staying long here. The door is only behind you and you don't know if someone is able to enter with bad intention.

Speaking of the devil...

No mail except for this weird card yet again. It's cardboard displaying a drawing of a joker, withdrawn from a poker package. It's certainly not the first time someone pull this kind of joke on you. Though, you have no idea who this is and it creeps you out a little. You turn the card to see if a message was left and sadly, (or not) you were right.

You've been trying to understand who this was for a long time now but in a big city like yours, with god knows who or what ? It's just impossible.

As always, you hate to think this because you don't want this creepy card to become part of your habit, a messy handwriting greets you in black ink.

"I'm everywhere in this city, no one can touch me yet some are fond of me."

You stopped school kind of early so your IQ is probably not high enough for you to understand that. Plus, you don't fucking want to.

You grab the card with you in order to throw it once at home and rush to the stairs (some says someone got killed in the elevator plus it's not working since months so you're not taking it anymore). Finally home. Your hallway still smells like piss and a deadly cold reign here (Nobody knows why). Two of the four bulb of the ceiling has burnt out and a faint static noise is resonating in the whole property.

This building is not even in a neighborhood that bad. But in Gotham, not that bad is still bad. Because bad is sleeping to the sound of gunshot and broken windows. While here, there's still these but not as often as in bad neighborhood. But you can add the moans hearable in the night in it as well.

Your building is really old though, which explains (partially) the bad state it's in.

Taking out the key off your pocket, you start to unlock the door. Unconsciously, your mind goes back to the card of the day. "I'm everywhere"... What's everywhere? There's air. But they specified 'in this city' so air might be too simple.

No one can touch me yet some are fond of me.

You can't touch air and you're not sure people are fond of it particularly. Like, air's fine. It's cool as fuck but are you fond of it ? No. Then what is it ?

You didn't even realize you were looking at the card again, your door wide open while standing in the middle of the hallway ridiculously. Slapping yourself mentally for being so careless, you enter and close the door and all your locks shut.

Some are fond of me, huh ?

In Gotham, what are people even fond of ? Misfortune you'd say. These fuckers love to see others suffer and even make sure they do by engaging in others people life.

But you don't know if that's really the answer. Damn, can't they just give you simple question? Or even better: stop giving you any ?

You drop your bag on the floor, slouching your shoulders and throwing yourself on the couch. Fuck, you hate your life. Why are you even here? You don't deserve this life. Nobody does !

Haphazardly moving your hand, you end up successfully grabbing the remote. You need to empty your mind, or have a background noise at least.

The screen lights up displaying you the newest information girl. The last man disappeared after he made the mistake of letting show his politic side. It's obvious everyone is corrupted here but the mystery in this story is ; who erased him ? It could be mob, politics themselves, everyone.

This city is lost.

The woman is talking about the incessant inflation and how numerous factories and business saw themselves forced to close for good. You just hope your business won't shut down, you need money. What if it does close, though ? You were already sweating trying to live with two jobs, but what if you end up jobless ?

It'll be impossible for you to pay anything. To keep your apartment. To eat. What are you supposed to do if this happens ? You already thought about that and all of your long reflection session always end up on one conclusion: kill yourself.

Because there's no way you're living without job in Gotham while being in the streets. You would have left the city if you had money or even family out there but it's not the case. So yeah, killing yourself that is.

Sure it looks a little extreme but isn't earth overpopulated anyway ?

It's better than being killed. At least, you choose your death ! But you're gonna hope this still won't happen. Up to now, your job is yours so taking such drastic measures won't be necessary. And you hope it'll stay this way.

Damn, you're depressed again. You drown out your worries by hiding your face in your couch's pillow. Man, what capitalism is doing to one.

You switch the channel without looking where your fingers pressed, this time a man is talking. He's saying something about a criminal and quoting every one of his crime. It was going crescendo, at first robbery, assault and burglary but just next to all of that was terrorism and mass murder.

You want to turn your head and watch the profile of this man but are too weak to move. So you simply listen closely to the man voice to get answers.

"Yes, he's a dangerous criminal and he's in town. He already break free from Arkham asylum twice now. If one of you see this man; do not engage, hide and call the police immediately. He is incredibly unstable and may not be alone. If you think you can win against him, you're wrong. He's a manipulative man and a mastermind. If you're seen by him, you better start to pray. Ends the man on a serious tone. Man, this guy knows how to reassure people...

-Indeed, a true monster. But please do not scare our audience. Batman was able to capture him twice, we'll be fine. The man chuckles but does not sound really honest. To answer all the questions you've been a lot to send us, we'll have the pleasure of meeting mister Harvey Dent here, chief of the police department to answer your worries. Harvey Dent ?"

And the voice switched to the other man. You like Harvey Dent. You like to think he's the only man in Gotham who's not corrupted. He's helping the citizens. Unlike that Wayne man. This guy could single-handedly resolve the poverty problem, but does he do it ? Of course not. He's rich after all, why should he care for bum like you ?

Harvey Dent is talking but you're not listening. All you know is that he's trying to ease the population. The men on TV are always saying the same things: empty promises. How the police is already taking care of the problem, that it'll be better soon. Like the police isn't already too fucking busy harassing the wrong people.

Harvey Dent is your last hope. The only man who can change things.

You deeply hope his promises aren't as empty as the other man before him. You turn off the TV and relax in the silence of your flat for a moment, breathing in the perfume impregnated in your couch.

There's screams outside. You can't tell if it's the neighbors or someone outside. Either way, you stand up feeling your eyelids getting heavier by each passing second.

But before leaving to your room, you stop in front of your window and stare outside for a moment. It's nighttime now. The city won't go to sleep, oh no, it's just waking up. The police can already be heard in the distance with its loud sirens. This city really is chaotic. It's just everywhere, you can't escape it. Touching it isn't even possible, you can't grasp it, nor resolve it completely; it's in the air. You can't fight against it. Nobody fights against it.

Fuck, it's like they're fond of it, here.

Chaos, it's scary when you think about it. Because you can't guess what's going to happen. There was a time when you thought that anarchists could be right but if anarchy looks like this, you don't want it anymore. You just want some peace and respect. But it seems too much to ask for Gotham.

You fucking hate chaos.

The next morning, your limbs were so sore you almost didn't make it on time to work. Your boss reprimanded you about your delay, pressuring you by recalling you the time one of your colleagues got fired for it. You were only late of something like one or two minutes but it didn't matter to him.

He only wanted to feel superior. He didn't even need real reasons to yell at you.

The restaurant wasn't packed. Only the usual rich families wanting to spend a pleasant day. They were here to eat breakfast. You try not to think too much about the fact that one single of their jewelry is equal to your salary.

The streets were alive; people running, cars honking. Your colleague hitting your shoulder to bring you back to earth, everything is normal.

"You think you can ask Mike to make another one ? she asks you with a sweet voice. The kid threw a tantrum. It's not salted enough and he hates sausages.

You lift up your eyes towards the crying kid in the back. Cold eyes stuck to his face. You're sure he specifically asked for sausage. You're the one who wrote down his order. And the salt ? Can't he just fucking put some himself?

-Don't question it. They're regulars. Plus, I don't think having beef with a kid is good for our reputation." Tells you your friend after seeing the death look you were giving him.

So you take the plate that looked absolutely perfect and delectable to bring it to Mike. Mike is an old man once passionate about cooking. Now he's forty three and stuck cooking eggs and toast to some crying kids.

"No fucking sausage and more salt please. you say, throwing the plate on the counter in a loud clatter. The man laughs at your anger and don't even need to ask to understand. 'Got it boss !' is your answer.

You lay your weight on the counter, back meeting the freezing temperature of it. Different smells invade your senses; fresh bread, warm oil and eggs. Well, lot of different smells were here as well but they're the one that really stuck out to you.

"You were late this morning right ? Did the client touched their plate ? You can eat it otherwise, it looks fine.

-Because it is, it was made by the best cook of Gotham after all.

The man laughs, mimicking someone blushing by putting his hands on his cheeks. He tells you that you're lying and that you're saying that to flatter him only. Mike had buzzed his hair a few months ago but they were back already; small rough curls mocking him.

You sigh and look back at the plate, it did look really fine. The kid hadn't even touched it ! The eggs and the bread were intact, left in the same state it was neatly put in earlier.

You spend your sweet time talking with Mike before your boss comes in infuriated, ordering you to come back at the front. And you're forced to do so. Grabbing a water jug on your way and putting on a fake smile, you walk towards a new family sitting so straight your back hurts just looking at them.

All of them laid down their menu and are waiting. You arrive, apologizing for the wait. 'Have you decided ?' you ask while putting the water on the table. The man takes the menu and start listing his orders without a smile nor even a look in your direction. The woman is busy keeping her children calm and asking them to calm down. The other tables are side-eyeing her while the husband doesn't even acknowledge his wife.

"Noted, you smile and turn your head to stare at the woman for her to start ordering.

She smiles awkwardly, and tells you her kids orders before ordering for herself. You thank them, "I'll be right back." and you leave to the kitchen. You sigh, scotch the orders on the wall, grabs the plate left for you to take and head back to the crying kid from earlier. The demon who ordered fucking sausage before saying he hated them.

But as soon as you place the plate before him with a smile, the kid slams his fists on the table resulting in his glass of water to splash on you and break on the floor. The mother gasps while the dad gives a slap in his son's head without even you registering the whole situation. Your clothes are completely soaked, you want to say something but his mother is sending daggers at you with her eyes and you know not to mess with this stupid fucking family.

Did he did it on purpose ? Yes. Are you gonna say something ? No.

"It's okay, I love children." you don't.

And you leave. Deeply humiliated. But you can't do anything. Because you're no one compared to them, they're gonna win. Always. Your friend asks if you're okay, you shrug. She's unable to question you further as she has to continue working. You head to the back in search of a broom.

The small closet is all the way behind the kitchen and you're already tired just thinking about it. Once you're in, you frenetically search for your item only for a shelf to fall apart behind you and destroy itself on the ground. You bite your lower lip with all your strength to retain you from crying and cursing the whole world.

It's okay, it's just a shelf. It's okay, you try to think but it's hard when it's not even noon and too much shit already happened to you.

You crouch down and start gathering everything you can when your eyes falls upon another one of these poker card. You frown and take it in your hands, examining it deeply. Uh, wow, okay. It's a little weird. You just happen to receive these daily in your mailbox and suddenly there's one here. Okay, totally normal.

You stand up, looking around you for an answer, trying to see if a camera is here somewhere. But nothing. So you turn the card to read the new message: You need one to live, I often rip it apart and yours is mine to steal. A heart ? you immediately think. You definitely need one to live and the sentence 'steal your heart' is kinda famous. But rip it apart ? Is it, like, a metaphor ? Glancing back quickly, you notice a small note left in the bottom right corner of the card. It reads: what a shitty shelf.

You laugh nervously, your breath getting stuck in your throat. What the actual fuck ? it's not even funny, what the hell ? Sorry for the fucking shelf ? They knew this was going to happen ? You definitely have to talk to someone.

You pass your hand on your face, rubbing it strongly as if to wake you up from a bad dream. Then you take the broom and head back.

Rushing to the kitchen, you accidentally pushes someone in your haste. You see Mike from afar and don't even need to approach him that you yell your question for everyone to hear:

"Mike, do you happen to play poker ?" the man faces you, his confused expression told it all, he didn't. And from the other's cook faces, they probably all thought that you were crazy. None of them looking guilty. But you'll investigate that later.

Not wasting any seconds, you almost run to the main room to find your friend. Luckily for you, she's cleaning glasses at the bar.

"Hey, is it yours ?" you're a little out of breath when showing her the joker card. Your friend simply shakes her head. When you asked her if she knew if one of your colleagues was playing poker, she shrugged and told you she didn't know with an apologetic smile.

"Why ? she asks.

-It's complicated." you say.

It can't be from the same person, right ? If it is anyway, that probably means one of your colleagues is the one putting these at your place. Which is a terrifying idea because you sure never gave your address to anyone here. Trying to see the bright side of it all, that means that you may know your 'joker'. And if that's the case, there's a way for you to stop them. It's better than the cards coming from a total stranger, because you can't act against them. You'll probably leave some clues at work to see and trap your joker.

The rest of the day was terribly hard. You were dying from the inside. Your tummy was growling like a beast; you did not have the time to eat. As you're juggling between two jobs, your boss thought that he had to exploit you as much as he could before you left. Because you're joining the bar, your second working place, at two pm.

"You're gonna leave in the middle of the day, when most people are coming. I'm losing money here, you see ?" he had said to you that day. Yeah, he does not give you any breaks because to him, you don't need one as you leave earlier. Of course you tried to negotiate and he was agreeing with you, on the condition that he pays you less.

"Mike, I'm leaving. you tell him, taking off your apron. Have a nice day, say hi to your kids for me." he smiles warmly to you, wave and you're out of the room in a quarter of seconds. You already bid goodbye to your friend so all you had to do now was to leave.

Putting on your jacket, your thoughts can't stop but think back about this other card you found. Yours is mine to steal. In what sense ? You could've thought it was some creepy flirting but it's just too much. You found these at home, at work. Everywhere. Are they going to rip your heart apart, too ? Are these threats ?

Hopping in the bus, you try to stay away from Gotham's crackhead as much as possible but it's hard when they're drunk and staring at you like they want to beat the shit out of you.

Fortunately, your stop arrives and you hurry to get out. It's 2:36 PM (14:36), the bar is not open yet but cleaning and organizing everything is part of your contract.

It's at five pm (17h) that you open the bar, standing behind your counter and waiting patiently for clients to arrive. You're happy Sean is here. He's a big man of 2m3 (~6'8), practices combat sport and knows how to handle different weapons. In a neighborhood like this, you're more than grateful to have him.

He's also the son of the owner. So it's really just the two of you here. The first persons starts entering the place and it quickly fills up entirely. It's quite a famous area, cops never comes here as mobs are doing their own laws. Sean puts on some background music you can't even hear anymore over the loud voices of the men laughing cavernously.

You're busy serving people's drinks. Moving as fast as you could but it being hard when your thoughts are plagued by cards and your mind is not here. Who's this joker man ?

The street lamp are all finally on, meaning it was past seven already. You didn't even see time pass, the incessant flirting and bickering of the men here enough to keep you from being alone with your thoughts.

"Thanks baby." says a young man when you give him his beer. He has a really bad scar going from his forehead to his lower lip. It's no surprise, you saw men with less limbs, other talking unknowns languages, some with sight or hearing completely lost. Sometimes normal people like you would come, women even but more rarely as the men here were true animals.

You wonder what type of people there is with you tonight. You're not naive enough to think all of them are innocent, in fact, you're sure 85% of your client here are criminals. This bar is situated apart from the city, in a corner more secluded with abandoned looking buildings and scary dark alleys you certainly don't want to visit at night, or even at day for that matter.

This place sucks.

Honestly, with your cards problem, you even considered engaging a spy to see who put these creepy notes in your mailbox. But two things prevented you to do so; first, you do not want to do business with criminals, second; there was a chance that your joker was one of your client.

Some of your clients here probably have mental illness as well, worsening their state. And maybe someone fixated on you and decided to follow you home. It'd be really awkward to engage a man to scare your joker away, only for him to be the same person you're trying to avoid.

But now this idea starts to disappear. You found a card at work after all, your boss is not stupid enough to let anyone break in. So the criminal track wasn't the one. It's one of your colleagues. There's just no way one of the bar's client could have followed you home and at the restaurant.

But on the other hand, it's difficult to see one of your colleagues following you home too. Because after working at the restaurant, you're not heading home right away. You're working here. Is it possible they waited outside until you finished ?

"A whisky for me." is what tears you away from your misery.

You do not look up, instead turning your back to him and reaching the shelves to search for the bottle. You grab a glass, throwing ice cubes in it and pouring the harsh liquid in. You then slide it to him, he nods and drink a first long gulp.

You follow his arm to his face before blocking on it. It's a man with a skin so pale it's getting worrying. His eye bag are terribly dark that you thought he had put black eye-shadow on them. And for a second, you truly thought it was the case. He had really bad scars going from each corner of his lips up to his cheeks, like a badly drawn smile. In the small crevices of his scarred skin, there was faint white and red paint, or make-up that did not left during shower. Is he like, a mime or a clown ? He looks like he haven't showered for a while, no judgements or anything, but his green hair are greasy.

He continues to savor his drink quietly while you're here, astonished by such weird scars. You saw scars, a lot of them. But they all looked accidental, caused by self defense or anything. But his clearly looked volunteer. You could clearly see that the goal was to create some sick form of smile, whether it is successful or not. What the hell happened to this guy ? Has he been tortured ? Did he make these to himself ?

'You got some nasty scars' you want to say. But the wicked grin he gives you is enough to make you gulp and smile awkwardly. Of course he saw you looking at him, you did not move an inch/millimeters. And he does not look like the type of guy to be nice.

"D'you like them ?

-Sorry ? you blinked.

-My scars. Do you like them ?

-Uh, yeah, yeah.

Fucking creepy. What the hell ? What did he do to have those ? Why is he even asking you this ? Why is he looking at you like that ?

-Do you want to know how I got them ?

-No." you answer at the mere second he ended his question, by pure fear he was going to destroy you. Or try to recreate those scars on you. Hey, you never know.

The man grins and chuckles at the quickness of your answer and stops talking for a while. Did you just escape death ? You think so.

He stopped drinking, though. You try to look busy but you're just organizing and disorganizing things on loop. Sean is having the time of his life chatting with the clients towards the tables area. But you, you're stuck behind the counter. You can't even count the times you got your ass slapped or got whistled. Plus, some of these guys often try to threaten you with knifes to make you give them free drinks.

It could've work if Sean wasn't here.

But it's comical in a sense. The morning, you're busy being the little dog, the little slave of these stuck rich people crying when their plate arrives one minute late, with prices on the menu so high it's clearly a scam for some eggs and bacon. With a ground so perfectly clean you could lick it.

And at night, you're here. Surrounded by criminals, drunkards and God knows who. With bad music taste rumbling in the background and place so dirty you could throw up and not even see it through the trash lingering on the ground. Well, in your defense, because you're the one cleaning, it was clean before. But everyone arrives with their disgusting shoes or bleeding and then they spill their drinks, and they fight and, yeah. At the end of the day, this place is a mess.

Your back is still facing the mime guy but you know he's staring at you. You know it because you can't stop shuddering. Your works are sure keeping you in touch with reality at least, you've seen both extreme.

"What's your name ?" You face him, afraid to offend this weirdo.

Telling him your name out of all the people ? Never. Smiling the best you can, you tell him your coworker name from the restaurant. He grins like a Cheshire cat, his smile accentuated by his prominent scars, nodding. You know better than to ask him back his name, he's probably, surely, a criminal. You don't have a death wish at the moment. You usually don't like to lie but this job at the bar taught you better.

-You know, he starts again and you pray he does not start to harass you with questions, he licks his lower lip before continuing. There's one thing I truly hate in this world. He pauses. You wanna know what ?

-Tell me. You say reluctantly, not wanting to anger him.

He lays one of his elbows on the counter, raising a brow and looking around him as if going to tell you a secret he wants no one else but you to know. Then, he looks at you again, a mysterious glint in his eyes.

-Liars.

Oh.

-They're such... he squints his eyes, moving his hand in the air to the flow of his thoughts. Vicious, little bitch, you know ? If we want to change things, he licks his lips, they're the first people that have to go. Don't you think ?

-Yes, I'm with you on that. you hurry to answer, nodding frenetically, feeling your blood run cold and a sweat cross your spine. Myself I really can't stand lying, you know ? Liars are really bad, they're manipulative and all. you were just trying to save your ass at this point. You received a lot of threats in your life, but this man right here ? There was something deeply wrong with him. He was fucking traumatizing you. You did not want to mess with him.

The only thing plaguing your thoughts is; does he know ? Does he know you lied about your name ? Because he specifically asked this question right after you presented yourself. Does he know ? No, no he doesn't. How is he supposed to know you ? You don't even have any name tag on.

The man chuckles deeply before you, licking very briefly his lips again; is that a tic ?

-What's his name ? he asks, looking straight to Sean, as if judging his soul. Does he have to stare at people like he wants to kill them all the time ?

Now you understand. He scared the shit out of you to ensure you wouldn't be lying to him. And now he's testing you. Why, you don't know. But you answer honestly this time. He smiles mischievously. Maybe that wasn't even his plan, maybe he's just deeply weird and unsettling. Maybe he doesn't even know you ever lied to him. Maybe you see things where there's none.

If there's one thing Gotham has taught you, it's to be wary of everyone.

-Are you fucking him ? he asks again, still looking at Sean laughing with the others.

-Why ? this thought never even crossed your mind before. Why would you fuck Sean ? He's nice, he's good looking but, you don't know, you wouldn't fuck him. You just, don't want to ? He's a friend.

-He's quite the tall guy. Are you fucking him ? he insists, ignoring completely your question.

Wow, that is getting incredibly uncomfortable and personal. You know you're supposed to entertain them and all but damn, this guy is killing you. You throw a glance in Sean's direction, hoping to catch his attention so he could help you but he's busy laughing with other clients.

-Why're looking at him ? I'm the one talking.

-I don't think this is appropriate, Sir. It's quite the personal questions you're asking me here. you laugh nervously, hoping to relax the mood but the man before you doesn't even react. Can I maybe offer you another drink ? It'll help...

-You got something to hide ? he licks his lips.

What. The. Fuck.

-I have to stay mysterious in order for you to come back, right ? you do not want this weirdo to come back, but that's the default sentence you usually say to avoid answering intimate questions.

But the make-up man does not insist, he gives you a cheeky grin.

-You want me to come back ? How flattering.

Most of the time, what you implies when saying this is that you want them to come back to consume more, so you have more money because you're kinda the bartender of this place. But this guy just plainly wants to fuck you up. Where's Sean when you need him the most ?

It's like no one around you is seeing you. They're all drinking their sadness, trauma, day away, not caring that a creepy guy is keeping you in his weird conversation you clearly do not want to participate in.

-Do you want to play a game with me ?

-I'm... Quite busy, actually. So...

But he knows you, now. He knows you're a bad little liar. Listening to you is now optional to him; he clearly doesn't care. The man stands up and you start to get scared. What is he going to do ? Is he going to hurt you ? Your hand is holding firmly the bat under the counter, fingers shaking with adrenaline. You never used a weapon before, less against someone. You never hurt someone, intentionally at least.

Sean, move your ass over here, now.

The man grins, eyes trailing your arms. He knows you're hiding something under this counter, but can he blame you ? You're surrounded by criminals, he's one himself ! It's impossible to know what to expect. Honestly, you're ready to scream to get attention and get helped. Even if there's high possibilities for a general fighting to start resulting in this poor bar to be destroyed.

But the man does not try to hurt you, he smiles, put his hands in his pocket and you now realize how well he's dressed for someone like him. A nice and well maintained purple suit.

"It makes me live and follow you at dark, keeps me up at night and makes you fall apart."

No...

-Who am I ?" He ends slowly, torturing you.

Your shoulders slouched down, tension leaving your hand on the bat. Your body become a big, useless puddle. Eyes as big as owl ones.

"I-I don't want to play. Your stutter had gave away your uneasy feeling, you step back, eyeing this man from head to toe.

You've come to despise those damn riddles. You don't want to hear more of them.

-But this one's so simple sweetheart. He mocks you. It starts with a pretty little O and ends with a N. I'm sure you'll find out.

You shake your head slowly; no, it's not simple, no, you don't want to find out, no, you don't fucking want to listen to him. But he simply chuckles, relatively amused by such a big reaction. Well, with that kind of huge revelation, you can't quite control yourself.

He's rummaging through his pocket, heart almost leaving you. What is he searching for ? A weapon ? What is he thinking ? But against all odds, the joker man takes out something so small you can't even see it behind his palm. You know he's doing it on purpose, hiding it from you to destroy you more, to see the look of surprise, fear or shock, or... Whatever, on your face.

-That's my business card, as a little... Reminder." You deeply doubt someone like him own any business, less business card. So what is he going to give you ?

He lays gently his hand on the counter right before you, not letting you see what he was hiding until he removed completely his hand, confirming your theory of him hiding it on purpose. You'd recognize them anytime. Your heart is beating faster, so fast you're scared it might explode. Nothing is written on the side you're staring at, you grab the cardboard, praying that it's just a crazy coincidence even if the drawing of the joker smiling stupidly on the card is taunting you.

But when you turn the card, the answer is given to you. For the first time since you've started to receive these.

-Obsession." you sigh, breath getting stuck in your throat. You were petrified. "You're... You're the joker man." you say in a shaky voice. Was it finally him ? Answers, you needed answers. But when you looked up, the man had disappeared. Leaving you with nothing but deep fear.

Silent tears slide on your cheeks, you bring your hand to your mouth in order to hide your muffles. Looking back at the card, you feel your legs give up under you when your real name is written in bold black letters in a bottom corner. Bile is rushing to your throat.

It's him. He's the one sending you these.

But you don't know him. You don't fucking know this man. And he's a criminal. You're fucked. Smiling like a madman, you start to laugh nervously, not realizing the situation. It's a joke, right ? You cough, progressively choking on your saliva. You bite your lower lip so hard it starts bleeding. You pray, you pray so hard this man isn't your stalker but you're lying to yourself. It's literally the worst case scenario that could happen.

You've never seen this man in your entire fucking life. Where does he even come from ? Why you ? Why him ? With his fucking creepy scars and fucking riddles. He knows your address ! Your name ! What else does he know ?

"You okay there ?" You nod without even looking at the person talking to you. You choke out a quick answer before rushing to the back towards the private toilet.

Immediately collapsing to the ground, you throw up everything you had in you, which wasn't a lot to begin with. You barely even ate anything. But you can't stop. You empty yourself, only vomiting water.

Sean finally comes get you, he rubs your back and help you get up. "What happened ?" He asks you.

"I don't fucking know." Is the only thing you can muster.

What you do know however, is that you're scared to go home.

"Are you heading home tonight ?" You ask him, voice hoarse. "Well, yeah" is his answer. So you asked him, begged him to come with you. Because you were horrified by the mere idea of going home alone. Maybe he would be here.

"You can come to mine if ya want." he offers. And you think that the guy from yesterday probably was right, you were weird. Why aren't you going to the cops, after all ? Probably because they'll think you're lying, that you're insane. A joker ? Harassing you with riddles ? You'll end up in a asylum in no time.

But wouldn't you be safer in a asylum ?

When Sean and you closed the bar, it was already well past one am. You didn't had the strength to redo this all over again tomorrow. But Sean was of good company, cheering you up and trying to ease your mind. Multiples times he tried to ask what was wrong, but he guessed it alone. "Was it that weird customer in purple ? The one with the suit ? I saw him lingering a really long time at the counter." You shrugged when he said that, completely worn out. What could he even do against him anyway ? The Joker man wasn't known to any of you. It was a lost cause.

Chatting with your friends wasn't even crossing your mind, you were terrified. The long walk to his apartment was as quiet as a church. What the fuck were you going to do now ? You were dead, yes, you were just dead at this point. What can you even do against some psycho following you around ? Fight back ? Yeah, if you have a death wish. You have to get out of this city, there's no other plan. But how ? And to go where ?

"We're here." says Sean. You've never been to his apartment's before, and to be honest, you would have preferred for it to happen in other circumstances. Trying to escape a criminal wasn't in this year plan.

Before you stood a tumbledown grey building, not much different from yours in reality. After all, Sean's not that rich, he's payed like you and live with his dad's payment. Though, you're pleasantly surprised to see the coziness of his place.

Warm lights were turned on, his sofa looked quite mellow and the general smell of the apartment was lovely. Not that you're judging him, but you wouldn't have thought he was such a clean guy. Because he's like, well, some kind of mafia man. So, yeah, he often smells like sweat and dirt himself, it's a surprise his place is so neat. Sure, it's damaged by humidity then and there, there's cracks in the walls but so do yours. The paint is peeling in some areas as well, you're used to it enough to not notice it. You take off your shoes, but keep your jacket. Probably in search of a safe feeling, maybe by fear of being vulnerable.

"You can sit on the couch, I'll order something.

You don't even have the will to eat right now, the ugly feeling everything entering your body might be threw back out instantly bothering you too much. However, you did sit on the couch. It smelt like him; you hated it. You were violating his property, his intimacy. You shouldn't be here.

But do you really have a choice ?

Sean is talking in the background, on the phone, yet, not a single word is understood by you. It's like he's speaking a whole new language. The red flowers on his TV stand keeps reminding you of the joker's card and his damn hat.

He hung up, that you heard, and left for another room. You hate to bother him, he probably only wanted to go home and sleep after a hard day but you messed up his plans. Grabbing the remote, you turn on the TV to empty your mind. You search for series, documentary or cartoons, only to be disappointed at the sight of obnoxious ads.

You end up watching the news, it being the sole channel not drowned in ads. A woman is speaking in a professional neutral voice, wearing a white shirt. She talks about the inflation killing our country before going onto her next subject; the outgrowing insecurity. The two preoccupation of the government, or at least, what they want you all to think about.

From what she says, a hold-up happened in a bank yesterday, in plain sight. (Why do they talk about it now, you don't now.) The building stank laughing gas. Only one man declares having seen the main suspect. Her chair slides to the side, leaving space for the video to appear and for the victim to testify; "Green disgusting hair and some fucked up clown make-up. That's the only thing I saw. He has no value, I'm telling you, criminals used to believe in things ! He has no respect for anyone, he killed his own team ! He's gonna come back for me, I'm sure of..." and he's erased from the screen at his outburst, for everyone to forget his trauma.

Did he say clown ?

"Indeed, the woman vigorously resumes, a faint smile on, was she laughing at the victim ? green hair and clown make-up is on brand today as everyone only talks about this mysterious criminal. After disappearing for months, the troublemaker is back in town and seems unstoppable. But has he truly ever gone away ?

It's not the same man, right ? No, no of course not. If he's a famous criminal, he has better things to do than harass insignificant useless civilians like you with stupid riddles. He robbed a bank ! Why would he even look in your direction? Fuck, what if he thinks you have some kind information? What if he think you're related to a criminal ? What if you are ?

-He calls himself Joker, always wears his clown make up and has a habit of wandering at night." The woman straightens her posture and clasps her hands together. "After yesterday's fiasco, the famous criminal already perpetrated his next attack. Earlier, at noon, the biggest hospital of the city was targeted. Cops were able to evacuate everyone urgently. Gotham is in shamble, people are afraid and angry. The police is trying to calm the crowds, in vain." Images are shown behind her of people running, yelling, stretchers evacuating and flashing cops car during her speech.

She continues talking but you stopped listening when finally a picture of the Joker was displayed on the screen, his face horrifyingly reminding you something. Too many information are going to your brain in so little time. You try to rationalize everything but it's hard when your mind is too tired to cooperate.

He's called the Joker. And you happen to receive joker cards. He wears make up. The man at the bar looked like he did. Hyperventilating is the only thing seemingly still possible from your body. You stand up, inking, sinking, learning, engraving his face to memory.

Two big scars, both going from each corner of his mouth to his cheeks.

Like a badly drawn smile.

"Sean !" you call. Your friend runs out of the bathroom, disheveled, shirt loose and no pants, only in underwear. He rushed out, scared something had happened. Your shaking pointer aim at the TV screen, at the face of the man on it. "It's him. He was at the bar."

When Sean looks at the man, a chill runs down his spine. He understands what might have happened earlier. He could see the purple suit the man had on on the picture, which was the exact same one he saw at the bar. Fuck, it is the same man. He knows the Joker, hell, everyone knows him here.

And that's bad news.

He's everywhere in everyone business. He has no sense of loyalty whatsoever, killing even his best allies and no one has the slightest clue what he wants. At the bar, he probably scared the shit out of you, he probably threatened you, too. Why, it's impossible to know. He's quite the unpredictable.

-Don't worry, he says, he probably forgot about you already. He's a scary man, likes to shock people a little. He always attack for a reason and you're not a criminal, so you're good."

But you couldn't believe it. He does not have all the information. He doesn't know about the tons of cards you received until now. Eyes completely stuck to the screen, you observe the face before you, knowing you probably wouldn't be able to escape him.

Somehow, this emission confirmed to you that he was real, that you weren't dreaming. And that you really were in it deeply.

Sean insists you shower to relax a little bit, you're holding onto the remote for dear life, nails digging in your palm. When in the bathroom, your eyes automatically gravitates towards the mirror, discovering your new face scarred by sleepless nights and cries. You're almost scared of your reflection. Sighing, your hands find themselves in your pockets alone but you're startled by the coldness they are greeted with. What have you in your pocket that is freezing like that ?

Your unease comes back in a rush when you take out another one of these cards from your jacket. Are you for real going crazy ? What is going on ? When did this get here ? How did it get here ? It's your damn jacket ! You had it in the work closet all day !

You're tired and doing this little fucked up game is not doing any good. A greasy almost wiped red is the first thing you see, his lips, you guess. He wears some kind of paint as lip stick, he fucking kissed the card, creepy bastard.

Turning the stiff paper, your eyes meet once again one of these painful riddle.

"I'm everywhere, you can't escape me and I'm coming for you. Who am I ?" tears slide quietly on your cheeks, the only sane reaction your emotionless state can give. You're not even moving, eyes staying fixated on the card; the tears are just physical. Body exhausted from it all. What is this now ? You know he's not talking about an object anymore, he's talking about himself. It's not riddles, it's threats. He's coming for you, what is he going to do ? Kill you ? Torture you, or worse ?

The shower did nothing to ease your nerves, you've never been so tensed in your life. What could you even do against this man ?

When Sean called you to eat, you let him know you weren't feeling the slightest hunger. He said nothing, simply keeping a plate for you on the kitchen counter.

You did not even blink an eye that night, paranoid at the slightest noise, a knife slept cautiously under your cushion. The windows and doors were completely shut and you would have loved to do the very same thing to your brain. You fell asleep, eventually, when you should have been up.

Sean was still asleep when you awoke the next day. You were late, and terribly so, the clicking clock on the wall warning you. It was already way past nine. You don't like to leave his house without even thanking him for his hospitality once again. But you'll see him tonight, at the bar. You'll probably have to quit, though. Not yet, as you have to secure another job. You can't risk being here without money, after all. Joker knows where you work at, no way you're staying more than necessary. But... he has to know about your restaurant job too, somehow.

You had a card in the closet, with his stupid shelf trap, after all.

You're safer there, maybe. It's quite the chic area. There's camera, people. Socialites are here, nobody attacks socialites. Usually, at least. Doubts subsists, the journalist on the TV affirmed the Joker attacked in the middle of the day, in plain sight. Would he attack the rich ? They're untouchable, their lawyer always know what to do and they know everyone. You can't kill a famous advocate, right ? It's like attacking the mayor. Remembering his face, you keep the unsettling impression he could kill anyone.

Fuck.

You take a piece of paper, write a few words on it, scotch it on the fridge and leave, dashing outside to not worsen your lateness. You were dead, oh you were so dead. Late couldn't even describe your situation by now. You boss was going to kill you, de-materialize you and send you in another world.

You ran until your legs couldn't support you anymore, people were side-eyeing you in the streets. Certainly thinking of you as some kind of thief or at the very least a criminal of some sort.

Jumping in the nearest bus, your legs being too weak to support you anymore, you finally arrive at your workplace ten minutes later. It was quarter to ten.

You're breathless, rushing once again to the rear of the restaurant. You push the back door open but to your surprise, it won't budge. What ? The guys never lock the door that early in the morning, they know you'll arrive, eventually. You knock a few times, knowing you had the key anyway but if someone was passing by inside, it would be quicker.

You don't have to wait that long as your boss himself is the one opening it for you, as if waiting beside it until your entry. He probably was. He crosses his arms on his chest, eyes glaring holes in you. Damn, you'll have to fight with him, again. You promised him you wouldn't be late anymore, he will never trust you again.

Well, it's not like he trusted you much before to begin with.

"Listen, I'm terribly sorry I'm late but... he scoffs.

-As If that was the only problem ! The man tightens his jaw, talking between his teeth. He approaches his head to yours, almost colliding your forehead together; he talks lowly, scared to be heard. You know damn well what's wrong.

Wow, okay. You were not expecting his reaction to be that dramatic. You're just (incredibly) late. It's not new. What's gotten into him ? You squint your eyes, at a loss of words.

-I was just... You start, ready to recite him once again your preposterous apologies.

-I don't give a fuck about you being late, he cracks, get out of here now ! You are not to put a single of your foot in this restaurant anymore ! You're gonna scare my customers ! In the process, a postilion left its house to attack your cheek. You cringe, immediately wiping it with your sleeve, shuddering in disgust.

-What ?

-What, what, he mimics you with a grimace and a weird voice, Get out of here ! He articulates each words slowly as if you were a foreigner, except his tone was harsh and firm. Haven't you seen the news ? If they hear a criminal is working here, I'm screwed.

-A criminal ? But I'm not... I'm, what the hell ? I'm not a criminal Tony.

-Yeah, yeah, and I'm rich ! Get the fuck out of here or at least, do me a favor and let me turn you in to the police." his face changes to disdain, suddenly thoroughly repelled by your being. "Man, you have to be some dirty criminal to have 600 000$ put on your face. What kind of shit have you done, huh ?

Six fucking what ?

-Uh, listen, I think there's some kind of misunderstanding here. I'm no criminal and I'm definitely not worth that much money.

Hell, in all your life, you did not even earn that much money !

-Hey, his tone changed to deviously adopt one sweeter. I don't want any problems okay ? With you, the cops or whoever is fucking wanting you dead. I'm an honest citizen.

What a hypocrite, he was literally yelling at you seconds ago.

You frown, trying to even understand what he's implying. You scratch your cheek, eyeing him from head to toe. He's in a tux, like always. He never do shit here, settling for bossing everyone around while trying to make you believe he's an irreplaceable element in the team.

Judging by his eyes, he is not kidding.

Is he for real firing you ? Just like that ? For some imaginary story he just made up ? Jobless, you will be jobless. He is firing you. A nervous chuckles escapes you, earning you a raise of the brow from Tony. No, oh no no ! You have this job, you did nothing wrong ! Life is already more shitty than it ever been ! Stalker, debts, fucking serial killer wanting your ass and now you lost your main job ? No, that won't do.

You were already planning to leave the bar, how are you supposed to find back two jobs ? One already was an ordeal.

-Honest citizen ? Are you blind ? You were more so than him at the moment. You don't even have an ounce of honesty in your fucking body ! Are you even aware of everything I did for this shitty place ? You can't fire me and you won't because no one else want to be your fucking slave ! Your job is slavery ! I don't want to be some kind of toy you throw away after you've had enough fun with it !

Tony was outraged you could talk to him like that. He was similar to a bourgeois in the eighteenth century, acting shocked after being the most gruesome person alive, putting his hand displayed on his chest and playing innocent.

-Me ? You should be honored to even be working ! You never understand, do you ? You are wanted, that's it ! There's nothing more, nothing less. You are fired. I am not hiring trash.

You hope the worst criminal of this town gets you, right here, for his fucking ugly disgusting restaurant to be destroyed to the very last crumbs. You'll use his body as a human shield while you're at it, after all, what else can he be useful for ?

Your body is boiling like lava. Hitting, jumping, crying, you don't know what you want, need, to do to externalize all of these toxic feelings. Never in your life have you felt more used, humiliated.

You knew he was an asshole, of course. Everyone does, but hell he fired you ! After years of being his toy !

You understand why people in Gotham are crazy. You understand why they suddenly breakdown and fall into crime. Their life, just like yours, was wasted by some self centered prick like him. Some self centered prick who are not even much richer than you, but think they will be when disrespecting you.

Your face isn't even warm, it's seething.

Your life is flashing before you, old friend, family, home, Mike. You won't even be able to pay your rent ! Of course chaos would be loved in a city where trash rules. Why the manifestation are so violent, why insecurity and banditry are prominent ? Because everyone is tired but nobody is listening. Because nobody wants to talk, they think they're at the top of the food chain.

And he won't change his mind. You're fired, that's all. Nothing can alters his decision. It's too late. He probably just created some poor excuses to get you out, you know it. Because you're not a criminal, and no one is giving away 600 000$ for your ass; he's lying. It's too farfetched.

You muster the calmest voice you can get while in such a boiling state, and God knows how hard it is. Wasting more time here is useless, he'll pay but not now, and not by you. You have a new problem: you need to find a job.

-Why don't you kill yourself, Tony ? Right now ? your eyes were empty against his outraged ones. That's why your wife left you, by the way. That's why she left you and took your damn kids. You don't even deserve to live, really, kill yourself, jump, it'll be better for everyone."

You shrug and turn away to never come back. You really hope he disappears forever.

And without anything else to do with your day, you went back home, body functioning by its own. With no diploma and no driving license, how were you supposed to find a job ? You had little experience, mostly having worked in little jobs everywhere. Cashiers, cleaner, babysitting, gardener (you really just cut bushes and mowed the lawn), security guard, fuck, you did it all. Plus, you have a second job and companies hate to arrange their schedules according to yours, in their point of view, you're the desperate one, you should manage your life.

It was safer to wander in Gotham now, the sun was bright in the sky. It was a clear day, really pretty. A shame you couldn't enjoy it.

You open the always creaking door of the building, feeling the freezing temperature inside. Truly a mystery, though a benediction in the hottest summer. A night out and it's like you already don't know this place anymore. You stand in the middle of the hall, staring at each crack in the walls, each suspicious stains, inhaling the disgusting smell emanating from it all.

Yeah, you hate this place.

Sighing and rubbing your tensed shoulders, you approach your mailbox. Opening it, you're pleasantly surprised when no cards is in sight. Maybe he finally got bored ? Your reaction back at the bar probably wasn't what he expected, not satisfying enough so he gave up. You hope so.

What's inside however is a A4 white sheet folded in two. Thinking a neighbor might have wanted to contact you, you open the paper. Yet, on it, the photo of your identity card in huge format, above it, your whole legal name with just below a price, written 'wanted' for treason. A chill run down your spine.

Okay, that is not funny. What the hell ? Did Tony did that ? If yes, how and why ? You pass your hand on your face, harshly rubbing your eyelids to wake you up. This is a joke, everything's a joke.

An echo brings you back on earth when someone goes down the stairs, upon seeing you, your neighbor halts. You offer him a tight lip smile out of pure politeness, which is a an act he does not even try to imitates as he eyes you as if seeing an animal. Do you look that bad ?

Awkwardly, you shift your weight on your feet to ease the tension growing in you. Why is he still looking at you ? The man, even though you were already well far away from him, distances himself and instead of going straight to the door to leave, bothers to make a detour in order to skirt you completely, without daring to approach a millimeter. Does he think you're going to bite, or what ? You two have talked in the past, briefly sure, but still. Fuck, his behaviour does not comfort you one bit.

When the door shut, you're left standing alone once again.

Things are definitely going in a direction you don't appreciate, you may need to hurry up before something really bad happens. Your hand fetches your phone in your back pocket, calling Sean. When he answers, he does not even bother to greet you.

"You okay? You left really early. You're at work ?

-I got fired, long story. I really need your help, again. I'm truly sorry I myself don't quite understand what's going on and... you stop your ranting, breathless and a lump in throat.

-It's okay, really. I don't mind. Tell me everything, how did you get fired ? Why ?

You called him for several reasons. The first being that he's kind of the only friend you have. The second being that Sean's family know people. They're all criminal at different degrees, whether it is gang leader, small thief or hitman. He's the only one actively trying to live an honest life.

-It's complicated and I'm still pissed about it. you tell him seriously, walking in circles in the hall. I have a question and I really need your answer.

-Not stressing at all. He tries to ease the mood, in vain.

-Am I wanted ?

Sean doesn't answer for twenty seconds too much. His silence is starting to worry you, why isn't he saying anything ? Is he confused ? Does he know ? Please, may he not hide something from you. Wanting to distract yourself, you take the stairs to join your flat. Your fingers were creasing the paper sheet in your hand so hard you could have ripped it.

-In like, he finally starts with a strained voice, a personality kind of way ? Relationship ? He chuckles awkwardly while you frown. Well, no offense but uh, I don't think I am attracted to you, I like you but I wouldn't say I want you, you know ? But you shouldn't be insecure, you're a really great person you know, and I mean, you're not ugly so...

-Sean, what the fuck ? You finally cut him when it hit you that he wasn't answering. You were on the floor just below yours, wanting to walk and not quite go home for the moment.

-I'm sorry, was that mean ? That was definitely mean. He clears his throat. Listen, what I meant was...

-No Sean I'm not insecure, everything's fine. I did not mean... Argh ! You're in this kind of environment, you should know !

-What environment ...?

You want to pull at his hair and shake his head back and forth to punish him for being so stupid. Or maybe you were just not being clear, it was surely that. You were incredibly stressed. Traveling between the different floors or the building to stretch your legs.

-Like, criminals, mafia, I don't know. It's... You sigh, your anger dissipating when you realized you were being a little harsh to him. Weird things keep happening to me and I think I'm going crazy for thinking I may have a price on my head.

-Oh, wanted wanted. No because I thought... He coughs. Never mind. I can definitely tell you that. But honestly, odds are low. No offense but you have nothing to give to anyone. You don't have a lot of money. So I don't think anyone wants you.

Damn.

-Why do you think that anyway ? he asks.

Very briefly, you explain to him why Tony had fired you, still using the stairs and floors as a distraction. Of course, you then told him about the paper you found in your mailbox and the weird encounter with your neighbor.

-I'm just really fucking lost, Sean. I'm sorry, you've been nothing but nice to me and I keep snapping at you, I-I don't know what's going on.

-You're freaked out, it's normal. I don't blame you. I'll help you, send me the wanted poster you got. Maybe it's fake."

Of course, you tell him. You'd do pretty much anything to get out of this situation. You want it to be fake, but there's just an accumulation of bad things that tend to make you believe it's true. Looking around you, you notice to be on the last floor of the building. Flattening the paper sheet back, trying to erase all the creases, you lay it on the dirty floor of the hallways. You tear your phone away from your ear for a simple moment to take the picture. You press send.

You wait impatiently for him to say something, anything. But his reaction is clearly not the one you were waiting for:

-Oh fuck.

-What ? you panic, feeling your heart rises in your throat. What do you mean 'oh fuck' ? Sean ?" But the nauseating ringing of the call being cut short echoes in your ear.

He hung up.

You bite your lip, shutting your eyes as hard as you can. Your fingers find your closed lid, pressing on it as if calming an upcoming headache. What the fuck is going on exactly ? Why did he hang up ? Did you say something ? Did he see something ? You can't keep doing that, nobody answered any of your questions since this morning. You are tired.

You give up. You'll go back home, sleep a little. Research a job in the newspaper and hope for things to get better. Sighing, you walk the stairs once again, only this time to really move on.

Has everyone given up on you ? It feels like it, no one seems akin to want to help you. You never did any wrong to anyone. You always hold the door open to people, you give the few you have to homeless people in the streets. You payed what an old woman lacked in money for her groceries. You work everyday of the damn week, with no holidays.

What have you done ?

Sure, you're starting to break down, you told Tony to kill himself, you yelled at Sean. What the hell ? Never would you have done that in your life. What's happening ? It's getting scary out there, yet, no one's here for you to confide in.

You never should have left your hometown, you punished yourself.

The first thing you do once inside your home is falling head first on the couch. Feeling tears filling up your eyes. You don't fight them, letting them slide freely along your cheeks. After all, it's the good part of having a place to yourself, you get to cry alone in the safety of it.

You'll have to give it up, though. Without necessary money, you'll eventually need to move. Probably find a roommate and live in a red light district.

You spent the next hours trying to read classified ads, key word being 'trying' as your watery eyes didn't allow you to see much. And you ended up watching TV, like you always do. You couldn't fathom the idea of being that alone. When did it all go wrong ? Are you a horrible person ?

The news-woman kept talking and talking without stopping, saying the same things as yesterday and probably tomorrow as well. Inflation, criminality, inflation, criminality. Where were you in all of this ? What about the population ? Where were the solutions ? Is this city really stuck in a loop of chaos ?

The screen now displays a cop in a police station, sharing his feeling and impression about the improvement of the city. You don't listen to him, more struck by what's behind him: a poster on a cork board. Yours. It's your face, with the price, 'treason' shit and everything. The exact same poster you had in your mailbox. The situation is that bad, huh ? Your wanted poster is right next to The Joker one. Is there a link ? Are they hoping to find him after finding you ? They're wrong, then.

You wait, impatiently trying to decipher whether the policeman will talk about you or not. But he does not, so you lay back down on the couch. How does wanted people live freely ? You've been researched for a few hours and you're already going crazy with the feeling everyone's watching you.

Do you even know a criminal in this town ? Well, the only one you do know is Sean. You briefly meet them at the bar, as part of your job. Befriending them is not for you though, so you have no useful information to give the Joker. Then what does he want ?

The doorbell rings through the flat, screaming at you to get up and do something with your life. A chill run through your body, breath stopping for a second out of fear to be heard. For a while, you don't move. Who could it be anyway ? Surely bad news. Now that you're wanted, it could be anyone. But the rings echoes again, forcing you to get up. Slowly and as quietly as possible, you slide to the door. Eye staring through the peephole, you're surprised to discover Sean standing anxiously outside.

How did he get your address ?

Opening the different locks on your door, you however keep the small chain closing it. It wasn't much of a protection to be honest, but you needed to lie to yourself a little bit.

"You hung up on me. Is the only thing you say when your eyes meet.

-I know, I'm really sorry. Are you okay ?

-How did you get my address ? It's weird.

He explains to you how your information are given on your work file. You stand inside, judging him from head to toe. He welcomed you at his place, you have to be polite or you'll really look like an opportunistic. But it's hard when you don't know his exact thoughts.

-Why did you hang up ?

-I talked to my uncle, he has a bar in the center of Gotham. Every criminal goes there, he knows everything.

-And ?

-You're safe, it's false. You're not wanted. He... He didn't see your poster. So it was a bad joke. Silence, you don't believe him. I promise. You're not in danger.

Then why is your face plastered in all Gotham ? Is he completely sure about that information ? You hate to act this way but, it's too late for him to tell you that anyway. False or not, the poster of your head is everywhere. People will try to find you. The veracity of it all doesn't matter anymore.

Though you can't shake that uneasy feeling inside you alerting you of his lie. You saw your face on TV, in a police station. It's not nothing !

-How are you so sure ?

-I told you, you have nothing that could interest such a dangerous man as the Joker.

He's right, on the other hand, something's definitely wrong.

-What do we do, now ?

-You could let me in ? I want to help you but we can't talk if I stay outside.

Halfheartedly, you let him in. He thanks you, admires a few seconds his surroundings before plopping down on the couch. You stay standing even after closing the door shut, crossing your arms on your chest and awaiting his arguments.

Should you tell him you saw your face in a police station ? No, you need to know what he's going to tell you. He's lying, you know it now. But why ?

You thought he could be a friend, turn out you can't trust him that much. Or are you losing it ? Policemen are quite dumb here, they are completely capable of believing everything they see and considering they're desperate to catch the Joker; they could have took your poster as a track.

-What's your plan ? you ask.

-It depends on what you want.

Well, you want a lot of different things. Money, happiness, freedom, family, equality, peace. Right now though, one will be enough.

-I need a job, I can't pay my rent this month otherwise.

-That one's easy. He crosses his arms on his chest, sinking into the sofa cushions. Try ask your bank, they'll lend you some.

-No they won't Sean, I'm indebted. Seriously, did he really think life was this easy ? Did he really think you haven't thought of doing just that ?

He sighs and shrug, crossing his legs, he put his feet on the table. Your eyes are enough to tell him to put them back on the ground. He's a little bit too comfortable for your liking.

-It's these immigrants my friend. We lack money because of them.

What ?

-No, it's just poor distribution of resources. With the ongoing inflation and such, it has literally nothing to do with immigration. You frown, confusion lacing your tone, answering him as if asking a question, because what ? That was so out of pocket ? It's stupid to think like that, it's too easy to accuse others. They're as fucked as we are, you know ? Don't say that.

That's what Gotham thinks ? That each one of their problem is caused by others ? Industries, Government, Politics, they're the one causing all of this. How does someone get to this conclusion ? You thought Sean was good, hell, his family was poor. They survived thanks to drugs and banditry. He's bold to think immigrants are the problem: His family literally embezzles money.

-Jeez, calm down.

Well, it's difficult to be calm towards this kind of stupidity. But at least it keeps you in check, you know who he's voting for. Never trust anyone. It's true you don't know him that well, after all.

-You want my help or not ?

It's harder to see him in the same light as before after this, but if he's the only one willing to help, you can't waste this chance.

-Yeah. You sigh, ashamed with yourself. I need people to forget about me.

-Good, meet me at the back of the bar at the end of our shift. He's not waiting for an answer as he gets up to leave.

-Wow. No ?

He stops in his tracks as you block his way.

-What do you mean, 'no' ?

Is he serious ? With everything you risk ? Criminals at the bar know you, hell, some of them see you every night. No, you are not joining him in the dark in a creepy alley late at night when people want you dead. Also, you need to think a little before jumping straight back to work, it's dangerous.

-Because I don't want to die ?" You need to tell him. "Okay, Sean, I may not understand everything but I know you're lying to me. Am I wanted or not ?

He already lost every ounce of respect you had for him. First with the lying, then with the whole immigrants things.

-You don't believe me ? Is he trying to make you feel guilty ?

-I saw my fucking head on the TV. I believe that's enough proof for me. You cut the conversation straight, not wanting him to keep lengthening things uselessly.

Sean doesn't answer, seemingly hesitating. What is he thinking ? He has to respond. He's constantly trying to avoid the subject and it's getting frustrating.

-That means I'm in danger, right ?

-Yes." he finally answers. Thank God, you think, God why, you also think. "But not because of the Joker. He's not responsible for what's happening to you. All the cards and riddles are from him, yes, but someone saw you two talking at the bar and thought they could get to him by killing you.

You entirely stopped trusting him after he mentioned the cards and the riddles. Because never, in all your discussions, have you mentioned receiving these. He knows too much.

You don't bring it up, of course.

-Explain.

Who could have told him about the riddles, if not you ? The one sending them ? Yes, but Sean's terrified of him. Plus, he couldn't talk to him, even if he had the courage to. It's the Joker, from what you understand, you don't approach him easily. He's not the small local criminal. He's something more.

-The Joker's well known. Everyone wants to defy him. And someone saw you.

-Who ? you ask, finally getting some well deserved qualitative answers.

-His name was, uh, Korej I believe.

-Ko...Rej... you repeat, unimpressed, frowning.

Is it you or does it sound vaguely similar to Joker, but with the letters all mixed up ?

-It's his pseudonym." He hastily answers. "But his real name is John, he lives in the richest part of Gotham. He's a mob leader. He fucking despises the Joker, that's why his name is Kojer.

-Korej, you corrected.

-Yeah, it's difficult to remember. It's quite the shitty name.

He really think you're dumb, right ? You clasp your hands together, catching his drifting attention.

-Okay, well, thank you for everything Sean. It was a pleasure, truly. But now I'm gonna ask you to leave.

-You don't believe me ?

No, no you don't. Everything he ever said to you since he first came here was either weird or false. And sometimes weirdly false.

-Please, leave my house.

You'll go to the nearest police station, ask for help. And if nobody helps you, you'll find a way out of here. This city is dead anyway, there's nothing for you anymore. It's too late.

-Don't you want to talk about it ? he asks hurriedly, displaying his open hands in the air as if ready to grab your shoulders.

-If you want us to talk, okay, you yield. But choose somewhere safe, with a lot of people. I am not joining you at the back of the bar at night where everyone could kill me.

You're going crazy. Why are you even accepting this ? It's not a dream, nor a joke, you really are wanted. People want to kill you. There is money on your head. Sean is deep in thoughts before getting the enlightenment he needed, suddenly vigorously saying:

-Shopping center.

-What ?

-Let's meet at the shopping center, in two hours. I have things to prepare, people to call. You have my number, I'll call you. Is it good for you ?

His behaviour is screaming danger, on the other hand, a rendez-vous in a crowded shopping center at 3PM is not as risky as the bar. And if things turn bad, you still have a chance to run away, hidden in the mass. You hope the things he'll prepare will help you, and not worsen everything.

"Okay. You yield, once again.

-Thank you so much, he exclaimed." Why is he thanking you ? "You're a real sweetheart. It will be worth it."

And with these last words, he left.

You won't go. Of course you won't go damn, you don't want to die. He's so suspicious ! Why so much relief ? He's the one supposed to help you, you're not doing anything for him. You absolutely changed your mind. Yesterday, he was that nice man who saved your life, welcoming you home warmly. Today, he's, well, you don't know who he is anymore. You want to understand, discover what's wrong, but at the same time, it's not yours to do.

Fuck, you need to empty your mind. It's tiring, to be suspicious of everyone, to always have to thoroughly think about everything you do. You plop down on your couch, grabbing the remote and turning the TV on. There's a cartoon going on. Tom and Jerry, a cat chasing, or at least trying to, a mouse. But the mouse's well smarter than the cat.

Each time he thinks he'll catch it, the mouse finds a way to turn the situation to his advantage. Because in fact, the cat will never win. He has the illusion of strength because of his height, when the mouse is vicious, malign.

Also, if the cat caught the mouse, well, the show wouldn't have any interest anymore.

On the screen, the mouse finds a way to slam the door in the cat face, who's dizzy. To illustrate it, stars and birds are rotating around his head.

You don't know why the mouse does all this, maybe to survive. The small animal found the comfort of a warm house with good cheese and doesn't want to leave. The cat, however, is forced to chase it all day. As his owners force him to. It's his role, as the house guard, to chase rodents. Otherwise, he'll be replaced.

You have to be really damn fucked for you to start analyzing a stupid cartoon.

Jeez, it's a cat chasing a mouse, it's silly, it's fun to watch. You don't think, just turn off your brain and have fun. Why can't you do just that ?

Sighing, you change channel, trying to find something worth watching. You end up watching the news, it keeping you grounded. It helps you think you're not the worst case, that there's always worse somewhere. It's deeply selfish, but hey, you can't do much about it. Your life is pretty much ruined at the moment.

What's today's problem? Well this time, the subject is centered around climate change and its catastrophes.

"Global warming. Today, in Spain, alarming news. The national temperature has increased considerably by 46°F (5°C) since last year. The Spanish are revolted, the world is encountering a record in warmth. Their main claim, she reads her notes, "It's summer's weather when we're in autumn." She briefly gulps her saliva. "Indeed, the local heat reached 86°F (30°C) while 73°F (23°C) at night. IPCC's report is alarming, something has to change. Is the world government going to act ?" She quits her serious tone and changes the subject. "Local news; what's happening in Gotham today ?"

Ah, here you go. You turn up the volume.

"Earlier in the main avenue today, several store signs were vandalized by a group of masked men, it is thought to be perpetrated by an illegal organization. It's a real raid that happened, terrorizing the passers-by and owners. The identity of the delinquent stays unfounded. We know that the police department is currently working on..."

You mute the TV. Vandalizing stores, now ? They didn't even steal anything, who does that ? On the screen, a replay of surveillance cameras showing masked men running, pushing people and only stopping to draw weird shapes on a few of the stores. It's bad, but not quite as bad as your case. Putting the sound back, you're perfectly timed with the conclusion of the event.

"Where is Batman ? Has the vigilante abandoned our city ? We hope for his prompt return in time for him to apprehend the Joker."

Batman, right. You forgot that man was even existing. While some wonder who is hiding behind the mask, you're left questioning yourself on which side is he. If he's with the cops, is he a good or bad man ? Police is part of the problem, certainly. But Batman sometimes helps people, although you never encountered him yourself. But is he really with the police ?

Who is he working with ? And why is he what he is ?

"Whatever... You rub your eyes."

Why do you even keep thinking about that, it's not your problem anymore. You're leaving. Gotham has nothing left for you. Batman can do whatever he wants, for all you care. He doesn't know about your insignificant existence, why waste it thinking of him ?

But are you really leaving this place, though ?

Are you really about to leave your life and flee like a coward ? Yes, is the obvious answer. You could think about it, is the less obvious answer.

Yes, your life is at stake. On the other hand, Sean could really be useful as you're still in danger as long as you stay in Gotham, he's a considerable ally in this story. And not only Sean but his family as well could help you.

You know about his aunt. That woman is quite well known. A powerful gang chief. You could pay her to get escorted outside of Gotham. You're already indebted anyway, you have nothing to lose anymore. Moreover, nothing guarantees your safety once outside of Gotham. If the Joker is as feared as shown in the media, changing city won't be enough. Which is why you need to clear the problem directly from the root.

Okay, you won't lose anything in going, right ? Maybe your life, but it's worth a try. You'll join Sean. Yes, you'll join him.

When the time arrived, you couldn't shake that uneasy feeling taunting you all while preparing yourself. What if someone chases after you ? What if you get kidnapped ? You won't, of course you won't. Sean will be there when you arrive. He's dissuading enough. He's a big man.

You found yourself before the gigantic mall before even being able to process it. It was crowded, people entering and getting out every second. For a moment, your eyes search for Sean in the rabble only to find no one. He's probably inside, it's safer.

Tightly holding the hood stuck on your head, you stare intensely at whoever crosses your path, trying to gain enough courage to finally enter the building.

It's scary to be wanted, the displeasing impression everyone's looking at you is suffocating. You could get killed, right now. Abducted, even.

When the automated doors open, you're greeted by the cold air conditioning. It's autumn, why the hell would someone want to freeze to death ?

Checking your phone, there's still no sign of Sean. He couldn't possibly stand you up, right ? He's the one who insisted for you to come. It wouldn't be logical. He's just late.

You can't really afford to be waiting in your situation, every second matters. You don't know what will happen. And, yeah, you're kind of starting to freak out. You don’t know where your wanted poster ended up. Maybe you’re already dead, and, shit, you're alone in such a vulnerable position. Fuck, why did you come ?

You’re trying to stay rational, thinking of every possibility as to why he’s not here. You nod your head to yourself, trying to ease your nerves. He'll come. You just need a little patience. He said he needed to prepare things beforehand, that's why he's late. He's late because he'll help you.

You miss the mall, it's been long since you last came here, too preoccupied with your two jobs. You used to like watching people but quickly stopped. First, you once or twice made an awkwardly long eye contact with a man who then wanted to beat you up for provoking him, "like a pussy". Then, the second reason is that people are just... Mean. You'd look at a pretty woman only for her to spit on the ground. In the street is already disgusting enough, but the mall ! You'll look at a man hugging a woman, just to realize that they both don't know each other and that he's drunk out of his mind.

Maybe you do need to get out of here, actually.

Your phone still hasn't buzzed, you need to do something with your body or you’ll go crazy. It’s obvious staring daggers at your device every second won’t help. He's not here yet, you need to accept it and wait. You'll walk a little to not get noticed, your tensed and motionless body language is screaming suspicious and people are starting to side eye you.

It’s only natural of your legs to start bringing you to the places you used to go to, only to realize that one of your favorite stores closed permanently. Of course, with the crisis. It’s not surprising.

"Fucking morons..." Mutters a man to your left. Upon looking in his direction, you meet the owner of the voice standing on a stepladder, trying to energetically scrub with a sponge his store's sign. Key word being 'trying' as it's not successful.

Right, earlier's vandals.

He's cursing to himself, scrubbing progressively more aggressively the almost intact big black 'O' tagged on the sign mocking him.

"Can I know who did that? asked your curiosity.

-Fucking assholes, he answers without even looking your way, that's who did that.

-What do they looked like ?

-No idea, he grumbles. They all had that stupid mask on. All white with some blue and red. No idea what that was supposed to be. Ask the other owners if you're so interested, but you're late. Journalists already left.

Oh, right. He thinks you’re a journalist.

-Thank you, have a nice day sir.

-Yeah yeah…”

You heard several stores were vandalized, where are the others ? Letting your legs wander, you get your answer a few meters/feet away. A sign is hanging by an electric thread.

It’s a shoe store, but its signboard was now displaying a big black 'O'. You lift a brow, confused about its meaning. Usually, tag either insults or convey a message. Anyhow, there's a sense. Now though, you can't quite pinpoint it. O, what starts with an O. Optimism, oppression, obedient omelette ? It can be anything. Maybe it's not a letter, but a signature?

Two stores away (you see it out of the corner of your eye) another of these is vandalized, this time, a bold 'B' was written. What word could this correspond to? B for Batman ? It's not a word, mostly a name. Baby, maybe. Bomb, bag, anything. Hell, it could even be badminton for all you know.

Next letter is directly after the previous one, a 'S' hiding the dress logo the sign was exhibiting prior. The paint is dripping a little and one or two drops can be seen on the ground.

"Those damn scum." a man grumbles, who you think might be the owner of the poor store. He crosses his arms on his chest, looking up disapprovingly.

You ignore him, now thrilled by all of this. You want to discover all the tags. It's not like you have much better to do anyway. Sean still hasn't answered you. You know what to do to wait: find words for each letter. S makes you think of sabotage, skull and soup.

You see the next letter from afar, this time, an "E" welcomes you. Though, this one was partially erased. You guess the owner found the right product. It's now possible to read the sign and enjoy the sweet sight of what seems to be a sex shop sign. Is it even legal ? There's kids coming into this mall. Anyway, a lot of words start with E; Electric, Ebola, education, eagle.

You don't find the next letter right away, needing to walk a little to find it. But when you do, you're weirdly excited. It's just a bunch of words on some signboards, yet, it's fun. Like an orienteering race. But mostly because you don't get to have much fun today, and this being out of your quotidian, it's easy to be ecstatic.

Further away, it's not one but two letters that greets you; two "S", entwined like snakes. Shit, is it a nazi kind of tag ? It looks like the police's symbol there was back then. If that’s the case, you don’t find this as exciting as before. Not a good thing to write. There's already so much chaos here, you pray nazis are not going to be added to it. You think of the word 'Swiss' for this letter.

Next letter is an 'I'. Investigation, investment, ice. A woman bypasses you, hitting your shoulder with her. You squeal out of surprise, the woman doesn't even notice you. What a shitty town. You check your phone again, making sure Sean didn't try to contact you. No reply.

Walking ahead, the next vandalized store needs you to turn to the left to be seen, it's an 'O', again. But you don’t have the time to think of words that you already see the next letter. It’s a ‘N’. Night, Nemo (as in the movie) and nuisance. You already found words starting with ‘O’ anyway. It seems to be the last one as you walk and turn but no others appear. Disappointment lingers, sad it ended so soon.

What is it, does it form a word at the end ? Like street art ? Maybe, a shame you already forgot all the previous letters. It was fun, though. You'd do it again, it's entertaining. Like a track game where you follow a path. Vibrations are bringing you back to reality, rushing to take it, you rotate to leave the place in order to find somewhere calmer. In your haste, you bump straight into someone. You freeze for a second, phone in hand.

They’re wearing a mask, a clown mask on their black hair. And a really ugly one. It’s shiny, like plastic and it surely is. Their eyes are the only thing you see through the holes. Whoever that is is staring right into your damn soul. Their eyes are empty, so empty you might think they’re on some kind of drug. The big red nose in the middle of their face is mocking you, laughing at you to be scared of something so ridiculous. Two small tufts of green hair are standing on each side of his head, the false bloody teeth drawn on the mask is the final touch that tells you to leave.

“Sorry.” you mumble, avoiding eye contact.

Your hands are holding your phone so tightly that fear strikes you that you could actually break the screen. The clown does not move when you walk past him, and you realize right then and there that they were well too close to you for it to be normal. You hate clowns, you hate them so much. All of this because of that stupid Joker. That person probably wasn’t even related to him, maybe he was one of the vandals. You don’t know, you don’t want to.

When you pick up Sean’s call, he apologizes for being late and plans an area for you to meet. You’re before the sex shope tagged by the “E” by the time Sean joins you. You’re not as convinced as before to destroy the problem from its root after the clown encounter. You’re not a hero, not a criminal. You’re nothing, you don’t have anything to prove to anybody. You should leave.

“You okay ? You look like you saw a ghost ? He laughs, but he’s not your friend so you don’t.

-So ? Got out much more coldly than you intended it to be.

-Jeez, you’re impatient. I’ll help you, I told you I would, right ?

You did, doesn’t mean you really will. You cross your arms on your chest, approaching him for him to hear you more clearly.

-Do you have any information ? Ways to get me out of here ? To resolve this ? Anything ?

He sighs, stepping back as if you’re the plague and looking elsewhere in the crowd. He seems conflicted, forehead creased by his worry.

-I can’t tell you now, walls have ears.

-Then why the fuck would you tell me to join you here ? If you’re so scared to be spied on, we could have continued this discussion at my place.

Your tension is building up. It’s fucking frustrating to talk with him. He starts teasing you with interesting information, then, he retreats and acts as if nothing happened and you’re just impatient. He told you to come here, he told you he’d help you.

-At least answer my questions, you plead, I don’t even know who… Who is the Joker ? Who is he exactly ? He physically tensed, his shoulders literally hunched forwards. What the hell ?

-Well, uh, it's complicated.

Damn, even that couldn’t be answered. Why are you still here ?

-What do you mean it's complicated ? Is he a terrorist ? A thief ? A gang leader ? A serial killer ? It's a simple question.

-He's a little bit of everything, truly.

Why does he always seem so nervous talking about him ?

-Sean for the love of God, he’s not here ! people are starting to look in your direction, but you couldn’t care less. You can calm down, he won’t kill you ! You gotta breathe a little, man. Aren’t you the one who literally told me he wasn’t after me ? It’s not the first time you’re lying to me and I’m starting to lose it. Why am I here ? Tell me, why are we fucking here if you’re not gonna help me ! Who is this man and what does he want ? Why does he want to kill me ! It’s…” a gunshot whistles in the air, cutting you in your sentence straight away, screams erupting from all sides.

Your body acts before you can think, throwing yourself on the ground. It’s hard to understand what’s going on, but in a way, you don’t try to. You get up quickly and lose yourself in the running and yelling crowd. Your paranoia is not helping, was this gunshot aimed at you ? Sean is somewhere in the mall, but it’s too late. You gave him a chance, he wasted it.

Another gunshot echoes, followed closely by the sound of a glass breaking. Your senses are overwhelmed; names, insults, orders are being yelled. Is the Joker here ? You need to get out of here, now. Bodies are pushed against yours, your clothes are being tugged on. But when you were about to reach the exit, someone harshly grabs you out of the crowd, pulling you aside. It’s panic in your head, survival instinct kicking in. You yank your arm out of the person’s hold but freeze upon seeing Sean threaten you with a gun.

“Sean, you start with a shaky voice, what the fuck ? his eyes are cold, you don’t recognize him. He looks at you as if you're nothing, as if you're no one.

-He’s here, he states, looking paranoidly to the sides. He’s… He’s going to kill me if I don’t bring you to him.

-Bring me to who, Sean ? But you fear you might already know.

-The Joker.

Of course he’d betray you. Who are you kidding ? You knew, you knew he would trap you. Your eyes can’t leave the sight of the gun barrel, following each of its movements. He’s shaking, you realize. Is he scared, hesitating ? Or motivated by a hatred so pure he can’t even control his own feelings ?

-Sean, you try nonetheless, he’ll kill you either way okay ? He’s a sadist, we can… you gulp, throat suddenly burning dry. We can leave together, we’ll leave the city and…

-You don’t understand, do you ? He’ll track you, he’ll track us down. And then, he’ll slaughter us like pigs. You hear me ? He’ll slaught…

-I get it ! I get it ! you scream, shutting your eyes in order to erase those images from your head.

How can you even change his mind ? You doubt he’d fold with some speech about your friendship. It’s not like you two were that close to be honest. Sure, you liked him but that changed since the beginning of the Joker catastrophe.

-He promised me money, he explained himself. As if you’d forgive him after hearing his justification. A lot of money. You can’t understand what it’s like to… when you see him lower his weapon, you interrupt him, drived by your anger.

-How can you be so stupid ? He was, he truly was an idiot for believing the Joker. You haven’t known that beast for long, but each time someone defined him, it was always along the lines of wicked, treacherous, vicious and ruthless. So yeah, he was stupid. Was your life worth something as insignificant as money ? Has he ever liked you ?

-Shut up ! I’m done living like a fucking tramp !

Tramp is a big word coming from him, daddy pays him everything ! You’re tired of his tantrums, he is a grown man, ten or fifteen years older than you and he’s acting like a child. Suffering is your quotidian as well, but you would’ve never betrayed him. In fact, that is your problem. You’re not a scumbag like him, that’s why you can’t stand him. You have no value similar to his, if he even has some. By what right does he think he can use you to get, what, a few dirty money ?

If you're going to die, at least you'll die telling him every resentment you had towards him.

-You think I am happy ?! Your life’s better than mine ! Fuck you Sean, you’re an asshole ! You’re a fucking asshole ! You’re the one that should die !

-Shut the fuck up you whore !

A burning pain sliced through you along a sharp sound, legs losing all strength and making you fall on the ground. Your ears are ringing and your breath is cut for a few long seconds. What happened ? Is the first question popping in your head, but the atrocious pain coursing through your leg answers you. Your hand touches your hurting limb, but retreats it instantly at the pain. So you look down.

Blood, there’s blood everywhere.

It’s yours. It’s… It’s your damn blood, you’re bleeding. You have a hole in your leg and it’s gushing out blood. He shot you. Fuck, oh God, oh God, you’re bleeding. You’re fucking bleeding and it hurt like hell. It hurt so damn bad, why, why did he do that ? Your eyes are stinging and soon, tears fall down your cheeks. Are you going to die ? Here ? With nothing accomplished ? Alone ? Shot by the only man you thought was your friend ?

-I believe alive was written on the contract.

You recognize that voice, you hear it in your nightmares.

-Joker ! I… She tried to run away, I had to immobilize her !

It’s weird, your body is exhausted, yet, the pain is keeping you well awake. Your head is heavy when you lay it on the dirty ground of the mall. Eyes trailing slowly to the two men talking. Finally, he’s here before you. He’s shown himself. Even if it’s only the second time you see him, you talked and heard about him so much these past hours it feels like you’ve been with him for months. And maybe you were, in a way. Sean walks past you, not glancing towards your drained body on the ground. He’s scared of him. He plays the big man with you, but he’s a little bitch.

How is Sean, a man built like a fridge, so terrified of someone so ridiculous as the Joker ?

Who is he ?

The pain in your leg makes it feel numb and at the same as alive as it never been. The Joker sighs exaggeratedly, he tilts his head to the side to look at you. Shivers shake your whole body. Is that it ? This is the man who’ll abduct you ? You’d rather get killed instantly.

-And right on Valentine’s day...” mumbles the Joker.

It’s not, it’s autumn. Valentine’s day is in February, in winter. From your position, police sirens are heard and red and blue lights are flashing, reflecting on the windows. The Joker takes out a gun out of his long purple jacket and aims it towards Sean.

“Please ! He yells. I-I did what you wanted ! She’s here, please don’t kill me ! I’m a hitman, I’ll work for you !

Is he, now ? He's barely a barman.

-Do I look like I'm searching for employees ? He asks, opening his arms and bending his hands for his palms to face the ceiling before looking around him for confirmation. Because I’m not.”

You're torn between relief and horror at the sight of Sean falling to the ground after another gunshot, bathing in his own blood. He did betray you, he brought you here, he brought this upon you, upon himself. But he’s dead. You wished him to, but now that he is you’re horrified.

It’s then that you realize that The Joker is surrounded by his masked goons. Probably the one who vandalized the store, now that you think about it. You walked right into his trap.

“Well ? What are you waiting for ? he asks almost comically. Bring the package to the car !

When several men surrounds you, you're left yelling and fighting to get out of their holds, in vain, of course. The blood gushing out of your hurting limb isn't helping much, anyway. You feel your strength slowly evaporate from you.

Shotguns echoes, but your ringing ears prevent you to precisely locate it. Soon, they throw you in the back of a car and close the door, leaving you in the dark.

Gotham killed you.

#heath ledger joker #Joker #ledger joker x reader #ledger joker #heath ledger joker x reader #the dark knight #vitzi9writings #i am losing it

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tr0p1cal · 5 months

Text

cats got your tongue smau

eleven - always get what I want🖍️

word count: 1.2k+

➤ finding a cat in the alley beside the Star was not how you expected to end the worst day of your life, but maybe it’s just what you need to bring a little light back in on a gloomy day.

general warnings: sexual themes and language, cussing, mentions and consumption of alcohol, mentions of cheating and toxic relationships, kys/kms jokes

series master

master | prev | next

Parties were never your favorite thing. The loud music, sweaty dance floors, couples making out everywhere, drunk people doing stupid things left and right. Not your thing. While you could find ways to enjoy yourself, the whole college party atmosphere just wasn’t something you found to be fun. You preferred to find a quiet corner or be outside with the fresh air.

When you agreed to go to the party, you knew your friends would eventually ditch you to enjoy the actual party life, but it happened a lot faster than usual this time around. You couldn’t be mad at them for it, but it did make you wonder why you even agreed in the first place.

The kitchen was one of you favorite places to hang out in during parties. It was usually on the quieter side and people didn’t stay long, usually only there to grab a new drink. While some small groups might linger for a quick conversation, it wasn’t typically a hot spot for people to stay.

You weren’t the most outgoing person, but you were known for your warm personality that everyone seemed to love. Everyone knew you, but not personally. Outside of Jeongin and Seungmin, you didn’t have any genuine friends until Minho bulldozed his way into your life. Yeah, someone from a class might stop by and strike up a conversation, but nothing more than meaningless small talk or gossip.

A sigh escaped passed your lips as you grabbed a can of beer from a cooler on the kitchen counter. “Can’t believe they dragged me here just to ditch me,” you said quietly to yourself.

“Oh yeah, I know how that goes,” an unfamiliar voice startled you as you realized their presence next to you. A tall guy with adorable little dimples shined you a soft smile.

“Your friends ditched you too, huh?” You asked, returning a smile back to him.

He nodded and chuckled, presumably at the thought of the mentioned friends. “Always do.” He leaned against the counter, crossing his arms over his chest. “They party too hard for my liking, but still insist on dragging me along. I’d honestly rather be back home watching tv, but then they wouldn’t have someone to make sure they don’t die and get home safely.”

You laughed at the last comment, understanding where he’s coming from. “Thankfully only one of my friends is a big partier, but the other one is the reason behind all the dumb decisions. He wants to see the world burn, I swear.”

He laughed too. “Seems like we both have our fair share of headaches when it comes to our friends then.”

“Seems like it,” you agreed as you sipped your drink. “I’m Rain, by the way.”

He smiled, showing off his dimples once again. You couldn’t help but want to poke them. “Very nice to meet you, Rain. I’m Soobin.”

“I don’t think I’ve seen you around campus, what’s your major?” You asked curiously.

Before he got the chance to answer, a group of people came in, one going straight for Soobin.

“Yo bro, long time no see. How has everyone been? Is Yeonjun around?” You recognized him and knew you had to get out of there. Wooyoung, one of Mingi’s close friends, quickly took over the conversation with Soobin, leading him out of the kitchen.

You didn’t even have a chance to think before an arm was tossed over your shoulders. The familiar sensation throwing you back to all the times you longed for such a show of affection from the man you now despised. The only thing you could think about was a way to escape, but as you tried to pull away, his grip only tightened.

“Aww, come on, don’t be like that. I’ve missed you, pretty.” The use of your old nickname made you feel gross. Mingi had always been good with his words and knew just what to say to drag you back to him, but you finally escaped his charms. You didn’t see him with rose colored glasses anymore.

“Don’t call me that,” you hissed. “I have no obligation to stay and talk to you. Let go.” You glared at him and all he did was laugh.

“You really think anyone else would want something as damaged and worthless as you?” He held your arm tightly and moved to make you look at him. “You think Minho really cares about you?” He asked with a raised brow.

You knew he was just trying to rile you up. You knew he didn’t have any real insight into your life anymore. You knew, but his words still somehow effected you. Did you even care if Minho cared about you? The thought of him not being around you made your stomach feel weird. The thought of him not wanting you around terrified you in a way you never felt before. What did that feeling mean?

“You really think he likes you?” Mingi kept nagging in your ear as a million thoughts raced through your head.

“Get the fuck off of me, Mingi,” you almost yelled, trying your best to escape his grasp.

“I don’t think so.” He clicked his tongue as he smoothed down your messy hair. “You see, I actually need you to help me out with something.”

“Why do you think I’d want to do anything to help you?” The rage you felt was slowly taking over.

“Don’t you remember who my parents are, pretty?” The mention of his parents made you freeze.

“Oh, so you’re threatening me now?” You looked at him with disgust. You knew all too well what his parents and their people were capable of.

“You know I always get what I want,” he said with a grin, gently tapping your cheek. “Let’s just say if you don’t help me out, I can’t guarantee your friends’ safety.” He pointed through a doorway leading out to the living room. Following the gesture, you see Jeongin surrounded by some of Mingi’s friends.

You knew Mingi was crazy, but never imagined he’d go to these lengths. He knew he had all the control over you as long as you thought he would hurt your loved ones. He knew all too well just how much your friends meant to you.

“What’s it going to be, pretty?” Grabbing your chin to force your attention back to him, he already knew your answer.

“Do whatever you want with me, but don’t you fucking dare lay a finger on any of them.” You glared at him with all the energy you had left.

“Unblock me and I’ll give you all the details.” He winked, finally releasing you from his hold.

He disappeared along with all of his friends. You were mad. Madder than you’d been even after finding him sleeping with your old roommate. He helped you escape that world, but now he’s dragging you back in like it was all just some sick joke. You needed to get away from that party before you lost the remaining strings of composure loosely holding you together.

a/n: sorry not sorry for what’s happening in the story, but I am sorry for the random break! It really wasn’t intentional, I was just struggling a bit mental health wise and couldn’t bring myself to work on it🤡 hopefully should be back to the regular schedule tho!

tag list🏷

@thisrandombitch @lakeeeee @hanniemylovelyquokka @minniepoo143 @puppy-minnie @jiisungllvr @samhomo @clumsy-writing-rdb @skzhoes @gaysontheprince @miniature-tragedy

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jennaortegawifefr · 10 months

Text

mail 2

Mail

warning: language mean reader

a/n: my heart hurts the next one will be better I promise

Jenna Ortega x fem! reader

2 months had passed you and Jenna have not talked since which was driving you crazy did she really mean what she said or was it just drunken words now that you will never know the alarm had went on you were supposed to be on set at 10 and it is currently 8 am you got ready made a suitcase since you were staying I the trailer for the next 2 weeks you got everything you need and got ready you made yourself some chocolate milk right when you were about to leave ky stopped you “y/n did you get your books?” you may have forgot that the exams are starting in 4 weeks and for 2 of those weeks you will be in the trailer so for a fact you NEEDED those books “nope, but thanks for the reminder” you grabbed your books got both the car and dorm key and as you were about to leave you gave ky a kiss to her forehead “thanks ky I will miss you tell Jake I said goodbye” she nodded and waved. The place was 30 minutes away and it was 9:15 you played some music (mostly girl in red) and then it hit you , you forgot the brown milk you thought about getting it but for that to happen you would be late so instead you decided on STARBUCKS “hello what can I get for you?” “can I get 1 venti hot chocolate and 1 croissant that will be all thank you” “that will be 10.20” you gave her your card and ate on the way once you reached it was 9:56 you parked your car got out and your heart dropped it was her Jenna why was she there early she wasn’t there early in steak house why now? “Heyy y/n right on time again”

“Hey burton, what can I say I am good with managing time”

“Got your stuff?”

“Yep in my car”

“What are u waiting for? Sam will show you your trailer”

So u did as told you got your stuff followed Sam and put it in your trailer honestly it was way better then you thought I had a bathroom, a large TV, a bedroom and a closet larger than yours it was nice. It was cozy you later went out and talked to burton and he said that today was just a day for the writers and producers to talk and see how will this series happen and he asked me to ‘get to know’ the actors you asked burton who you best friend on the show and he pointed to a girl with short hair and brown eyes you went to talk to her and ‘get to know’ her “hey I am y/n the lead and I believe you’ll be my best friend?” she smiled and nodded she was warm it was nice “yes yes hi I am jasmine savoy” the rest of the convo was great it felt nice to have someone other than ky or Jake to talk to but then as you guys were about to go out for ‘coffee’ Jenna walked in and I am sure they both know each other’s “JENNNA” “JASMINNN” Jenna jumped into Jasmine’s arm if they didn’t know each other’s that would just be WEIRD “oh right this is y/n” jasmine spoke up “I know we met in the steak house” you smiled in responded “we were just going out for coffee wanna join?” you looked at her waiting for a responds but once again lost in her deep brown eyes “I would love to” the day was nice they both made fun of you for taking chocolate milk rather than coffee but other than that it was great but it wasn’t hard to miss that Jenna was REALLY focusing with you she’d ask you questions and stare at you when no one was talking I felt nice. She was nice no she was amazing .The day ended or as you thought Jenna then texted you at exactly mid night she asked you to meet her at the beach. The set was right next to the beach it was a 5 minute walk to be exact. You agreed and went with your spider man pjs the water looked nice and deep just like her eyes she held your forearm which made you blush ‘HARD’ then the walk had started you could feel the water under your red crocs which actually matched your pjs “so who are we killing” she giggled it’s like music to your ears, okay nope never ever thinking that again ew an-“you know I kinda have beef with burton, like come on steak house I am vegan and sadly all they got is meat” she interrupted your thoughts she looked hurt you can tell it was fake by the smirk on her face “nice pjs by the way” she then looked you up to down “thank you I like to be confortable in my outings” she giggled once again that made you heart float “but really I wanted to talk to you about something” you stopped the walk at turned to be facing her “did I do something wrong?” you were genuinely curious you ruined something , you really liked her and didn’t afford heart break right now “no, no not at all, I kinda thought I did” you furrow your eyebrows at her in disbelief “what? Why would you think that?” she raised her eyebrows and you truly didn’t know why. She then spoke up it felt like ages “you’ve latterly been avoiding me all day” oh okay now I get it “what no” yes, yes you have all day .she then squinted her eyes and spoke “you know for an actor you are a very bad liar” ok shit she caught you she then proceeds to continue “so are you gonna tell me why because if it about the steak house I say things that I DO NOT mean when I am drunk so whatever it is ,it is not true” there you go this is the part where you feel relived but I am not. Ok umm I should go bury myself now I mean wh- “y/n? You good?” you realize you zooned out AGAIN shit talk ok talk talk you son of a b- “bitch” shit I like Jenna Ortega and she doesn’t like me back big surprise not really “excuse me” she looked at you

“No that wasn’t meant for you I was thinking to loud but no I wasn’t thinking about you I mean I was b-“

“Y/n its fine chill really its cool”

“Sorry”

“So you were avoiding me because?”

“Something you said while drunk, I am glad you made it clear”

“So am I, wanna head back we’ll wake up early for set?”

“Sure”

Once you reach you trailer and right before you entered “oh goodnight Jenna sweet dreams” you kissed her forehead just because you were used to kissing Kayla’s before she went to sleep “one day I will steal these jammies from you ,goodnight to you too” and with that she left but not without a smile of course as you sat in your bed to ‘process’ what just happened you realized you like Jenna Ortega and she doesn’t like you back speaking of heart break this will truly hurt you more then it will to her but this time you will REALLY avoid her you are so serious when you say you CANT afford heart break

Its 11 am everyone is on set burton wants you there an hour early before your scene you take that opportunity to study you’re on the floor leaning on the wall 2 LARGE books lying next to you ,a notebook open on your bended knees that reach your chest while your head phones are on playing your playlist. You were a really organized person when it comes to studying all the topics in order and even all the colors in the rainbow having neat studies would always persuade you to do more it was always you key to studying 1 hour and 45 had passed and yet your scene wasn’t ready to film but that didn’t matter to you because for once In your live you actually found studying interesting and you would do anything to keep that

you then felt a faint tap on your shoulder you thought that burton was finally ready but no it was Jenna you were happy to see her but then remembered how you needed to avoid her to keep your feelings from getting hurt you took off your headphones without returning the smile she offered you ,hurts I KNOW “hey” she said with her so soft voice wait no I am supposed to hate her “hi” you tried to sound dry and tbh you did good you looked back to the book to keep the studies “what’s that?” she pointed towards the notes you’ve been taking “school, exams are up” it really hurt you being like this but really it worked to all your failed crushes and if it didn’t, it would hurt you more at the end ‘’cool wh-“ “Jenna I am kinda busy right know so can we talk later?” ouch fuck I hate myself so much right now “sure, sorry” your scene came up right after it took 2 hours to finish the scene and burton said there was a 3-hour break for me so as I was about to leave someone caught my arm but it wasn’t like yesterday at the beach so it had to be someone else so you turned round to see jasmine “oh hey ja-“ “shut that fuck up ,what did you do to her” you furrow your brows and flinch back slightly “wha-“ “stop acting dumb you know what I am talking about, Jenna she is so ,so…. Depressed” you squint your eyes in need of more information “after she left from your little talk she was really sad and zooned out” oh that little talk “jasmine I did nothing to hurt her I think” she raises her eye brows and clench her jaw “you think? What did you guys talk about I need you to tell me every single detail” and so you did “really y/n?” you shrugged and bit your lip “I expected you to be good I mean you are but what happened?”

“Okay fine I’ll tell you but promise me no one will know about this especially not Jenna”

“Promise mother fucker”

“So I have a huge crush on Jenna and yesterdayshesaidsomethingthatinferredthatshedoesn’tlikemeback sotokeepmyfeelingsfromgettinghurtIdecidedtoavoidhersoIcanstoplikinghersoonceshedoestellmeshe doesn’tlikemeorthatshelikessomeoneelseIdon’t jumpoffareallytallbuilding

“You know there is something called breathing and tbh I feel bad”

Shit.

#jenna ortega x reader #jenna ortega #tara carpenter x y/n #tara carpenter #tara carpenter x reader #wednesday addams #wednesday addams x reader #fem! reader

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woneuntonzz · 1 month

Text

torn and folded .ᐟ (1/2)

📞 ; “respectfully, you're disgusting.”

𖹭 : bully!seunghan x bl reader, amab!reader

💭 you loved your free time in manga reading websites, not him though, he thinks you need your senses sorted out for you, and so he would...

⤷ contains: mlm pairing (this is pure fiction and is in no way

made to assume the idol's sexuality!!), angst, bullying,

homophobia towards mc (i myself have struggled with), fluff,

humor (kys/kms jokes), mention of other idol names for world

building

⤷ wc: 11.2k!! (not proofread :p)

-ˋˏ under the cut .ᐟ ✄┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈

Attraction has always been a tough concept that fiddled with your mind, and for years you found it hard to figure out where you lie in this aspect. For a while you thought you were just like every other guy, too afraid to fall for a girl.

You would meet your best friend’s sister quite often whenever you visited their home. You’ve always thought she was so pretty, with such an innocent face and a sweet and wee voice. She was almost this perfect character, fair and bright, nearly unreal. She had such nice hair that fell like waterfalls, long and wispy lashes, plush, pink lips and eyes that took the shape of an almond. No wonder why she was the talk of the neighborhood —and she was just as beautiful on the inside as you saw her in her countenance.

“You can have my umbrella, don’t worry about it —go home! and if your dad yells at you again, tell me. I’ll give you something special tomorrow.” —the sweetest girl, isn’t she?

“Thank you, Chaeyoung.”

She lent you her Hello Kitty umbrella, the cat imprinted all over the canopy, and her little bow on the handle. That day you were spared from your ill-tempered father, and Chaeyoung would never see that umbrella again.

The next day, you came back to their house, ecstatic to finally watch another episode of Slam Dunk on their tv.

“Hi Y/n!” —oh right, you were there to see Chaeyoung too. “Can you come to the kitchen real quick?”

From a distance you could smell sugar cookies, freshly baked, hot out of the oven. The scent only led you to briskly nodding to her question, following closely behind her as you scuttled to the kitchen together.

“These are for you.” you were sure the cookies were just as sweet as her smile as she extended the plate of sugars towards you.

“Oh, thank you.” for a while, you hesitated on fully carrying the weight of the plate, but looking at her beaming face assured you, and soon you were stuffing your face with the cookies.

“Let’s play a little game!” you were a bit startled at her exclamation, mouth still bearing chunks of sugar.

You had to take a painful swallow to ask, “Right now?”

“Mhmm~”

“Should we go outside—”

“No, no!” her giggles made you shiver, it was so innocent, yet so… eery. “Just here.”

“What game are we playing?” you asked again through your soft chews.

“Let’s guess each other’s crushes.”

Your pupils would move to the side as you got to thinking, a crush, do I have one of those? —the thought of it had never even crossed your mind. Maybe because it was unclear to you what a crush is meant for, or what it takes for you to crush on someone. Chaeyoung? —everyone else seemed to have a crush on her, but you're no train-hopper.

“Guess mine first.” she urges, and you scurry around in your head for answers, Jaeyun? Wooyoung?

“Is it… Wooyoung?” —and to that she emits a sound of a buzzer, like the ones you’d hear in a game show after an incorrect answer.

“No!”

“Oh, Jisung?”

You laughed at the exaggerated pout that played on her lips, and she’d only frown at you. For a minute you were worried that she was getting annoyed —good for you for being worried, because you’d find out she’s been restless all morning, itching to tell you, “I have a crush on you, dummy.”

Suddenly you were inhaling thick air, your breathing pattern shifted tremendously as your eyes looked for something to rest on. In that thirty seconds of silence, you wished it was that easy to just sink into the ground beneath where you stood. Her? crushing on you? seemed like a dream, and it truly is for the boys that admired her, unfortunately for her, you aren’t a part of that population.

“Me?” you pointed at yourself as you questioned what you had just heard. “Are you sure? Are you joking?”

She was quiet for about seven seconds —and you were able to count for the sole reason of being anxious. The sole of her right foot was pressed firmly against the ground, and within those seven seconds she moved it around, drawing small ovals on the ground. “I’m sure.”

You wished you were as sure as she was, whilst she eyed the lines on your shirt, you were thinking about your feelings, what you felt about her. While you’ve always been in awe of how graceful she was at any given scenario, it’s all been just a thought and nothing more, nothing special, nothing for you to act on.

“How about you?”

You swore you the ticking of their wall clock got louder, and louder, and louder. But eventually, you’d tell her the truth.

She told you it was okay, but you saw the shift in her eyes, the pair that was once innocent and inviting now terrified you like the wretched pit in your darkest nightmares. How was that even possible? —you’d ask yourself, trying to open your mind to the possibilities. What are the chances that you’d become the person she hates the most?

“One hundred percent.” —now in highschool, you’d bury yourself in that horrid pit everyday, you had no choice, no means of escaping.

“You’re sure that’s the answer?” you hiss at the pain inflicted by her hands that dug into your hair, pulling each strand, her vigor intensifying by the second. “If this turns out to be wrong…” fate is truly, “I will out you to your dad myself.” cruel.

That day you told her that you did not reciprocate her admiration is the day you’d see her for who she truly was. Wolf in sheep’s clothing, a phrase you’d often hear even as a child. You just never thought you’d encounter it ever, especially in her.

You stood up from your desk, huddling your textbooks and notebooks as you took wary steps —would usually be to the library, but Chaeyoung had already caught up to that old routine of yours, so you resorted to an empty, but rancid room at the back of the building. It was dark, even darker than that pit.

Though that room was not entirely pleasant —it smelled of mold and chemicals you could only make out as cleaning materials— you learned to deal with it for your own sake. You’ve been threatened over and over by a certain group of people in your class that they’d out you, and you had every right to be scared, especially when they almost succeeded in the dawning of your anguish.

In that room, you hummed to yourself, did the work you had to in peace, and most importantly, you read —the pieces that you related to the most.

You remember being caught swiping through it on your phone, within seconds it was snatched away from you. They —two of them— took a quick look at it, smirking and soon guffawing at what they saw. “Who knew you’d be into disgusting shit like this.”

“I mean, it only makes sense. He’s a—” it was the first time you were called the slur.

If you were being honest, as hurtful as they were meaning to be, you were not much fazed by it, still, you were surprised to hear such a word, even from them.

“Yeah, you’re right. People like him are really like that huh?” like what? —you could only dare them with the little voice in your head for if you had spoken out it might be your last day in that classroom.

“Stop looking at us like that.” —and they repeated it again, that word.

From then on, you’d avoid being seen reading, or having your phone out at all. There were times where you had the freedom, so you’d make the most of it while they weren’t there, in the classroom. But this deserted room, despite its grimy interior, would serve as a safe space for you.

“This is not too bad.” you mumbled to yourself, eyes lingering on your faint reflection on the dust-layered window panes.

It truly was not too bad to have your peace in such a place, this school, the shithole you were forced into.

The truth is, you haven’t outed yourself to anyone, no one in school, not even Chaeyoung, not even her brother —and your childhood best friend— Seunghan. After that one fateful afternoon at their house, Chaeyoung felt devastated, how could you not like her back? she could only think of one reason, you must be gay, crazy enough to not return her likeness for you. She didn’t even get to confronting you about it, she just told everyone she knew, everyone close to you —with the exception of your family— that you’re insane, or in her words, “He’s gay, he told me himself! it’s better to stay away just to be safe!”

You’d end up being the one to stay away, just to be safe. Though you could say not everyone was mean to you, they were not nice enough to acknowledge you or what the others have been doing to you either.

It was an unfortunate turn, and it would ultimately lead to the fallout of your friendship with your one and only sport —you used to call him all sorts of names, and he’d call you, well, what you could only describe as the cutest alias you’ve ever heard. You had something quite special, and didn’t take a while for you to see it differently —to see him differently. Maybe you were being a little too irrational, or maybe it's because of the way his face is always close enough to press onto yours, or the way he smiled at you, the way he used to take care of you without you asking, and the nickname.

“Hey bunny!” —is what you’d always hear every morning then, when he called you out to play, or take bike rides around the neighborhood.

“Hi Seung-gunk!” and he’d playfully headlock you, ruffling your hair.

The farthest you’ve gone with your matching bicycles was the park —you even had your own tree, a hiding spot if you will. It’s where you two would babble on about everything, even the most nonsensical things.

“Don’t you ever get bored of this park?” you asked him, and you would move a little, feeling some of his sweat touching your skin because of the proximity.

You two were sitting under your tree, leaning against its trunk. Your sides were slightly squeezed against each other as you went on with your venture-talks.

“Not really.” he looked at you, reaching on top of your head for a stray leaf that fell on it, “Not when I’m with you.”

You believed him, only at that moment, because soon his actions would contradict his words.

It all started in middle school, the summer before it started, you have already discussed about how excited you were about entering this new phase in your life, talking about how you two would go to lunch together, find ways to skip class and sneak out —it was a joke of course— and making new friends, and the rumors.

seungsseung 💥💥

i can’t believe we’re finally middle schoolers

can u believe it?

y/n 🥕

i’m kinda scared

what if they hurt me more

seungsseung 💥💥

tsk

those stupid rumors

you know what

i’m actually gonna tell my sister to stop it

y/n 🥕

you think it’ll work?

seungsseung 💥💥

don’t worry bunny

i know it didn’t work before

i’ll make it work

It didn’t work, obviously. You were bewildered with how he avoided you, like you were carrying some deadly parasitic disease, the root of an upcoming apocalypse. At first he wouldn’t even look in your direction, even when he really needed to, even when you were already sobbing from your classmates pushing you around, with the lead of his own sister. As time progresses, he’d watch your agony, but you could never really tell what lies in those watchful eyes. He’s changed, and he would change even more.

You were in a rush to get back to the classroom after checking the time, but you wouldn’t be inside without bumping into him.

“Watch where you’re going.” like a reflex, you’d use the papers you held to shield yourself, by the way he looked at you, you thought he was about to jump you. He scoffs at this, finding some sort of amusement out of it, “Fucking pathetic.” he says, kicking the papers out of your hands.

You tried your damndest to fight back the tears in class, not wanting to draw any more attention than you already have outside of class hours. It was only when you were able to lock yourself within the confines of your dim lit room that you were able to release all the tears. It hurt even more that you were not allowed to make a single sound at that time of the night.

Wasn’t he being a bit too much? —you were crying out loud in your frail mind, perplexed by this situation. You were too afraid to even message him anymore, to ask him why, and what caused the sudden shift. Then, he protected you like he owed you the world, the next day you were suddenly prey for him to feed on. And he’d only get worse in highschool, bonding with the same people who caused your torment, and still, with his stupid, pretty sister.

“Look who’s back!” you tried your best to maintain your composure as you entered the classroom, you had just gotten out of your secret hideout. “We missed you, Y/n.”

“Class isn’t the same without a freak like you.”

You’d flinch, feeling someone rush past behind you. Feeling the back pocket of your pants become lighter, you panicked, and soon your phone was being held close to your face.

“Open it.” Seunghan —he taunted, looking at you the same way he always did. “Deaf? I said open it, fucking idiot.”

Your hands were shaky, taking your phone from him. It took you three attempts before you could successfully unlock it, and when you did, he clutched on it, forcefully taking it out of your hands. You already felt the after effects of his insults that hadn’t even come out of his mouth, but you knew it would very soon. You had left what you were reading open, it was not like you knew he’d be up to snatching your phone away from you to poke fun at you, but then again you weren’t surprised.

“You make me gag. Do you guys see this shit?” he was already scrolling through the whole thing, and his friends would peek from behind him making you gulp and freeze on your spot.

You came home with wet hair, a wet uniform, and it was all to mock the fact that you were up to reading something that erotic. When they got your phone, you happened to have left it on a chapter that had a rated eighteen scene. They took turns at throwing water at you, repeatedly uttering how wet you were getting. It was disgusting, but so were you in their eyes, in his eyes.

bunz

hey

can i ask u a question?

it’ll be vv quick i promise

saxyguy1002

oh hi

how’s school?

bunz

awful

anyways

what do u think abt homo ppl?

saxyguy1002

i mean

as long as it’s not me it’s cool ig

they aint causing a world war so

yea

they haven't killed my family

so idc really

bunz

that’s interesting

saxyguy1002

r u gay bunz?

bunz

…

what if i am?

saxyguy1002

i told u idc

unless ur planning to kill my family

bunz

no ur tweaking

i’m just not into girls

but into guys

that’s all

saxyguy1002

like i said

don’t

care

bunz

well fuck u

saxyguy1002

kidding

don’t go offline yet :((

i have no one to talk to

my friends are idiots

all of them.

Then why’d you leave me? —you shook your head at your computer screen, at the conversation you were having with this ‘stranger’ you met in a game. You knew it was him, but he was oblivious towards the fact that it was you who he’s been talking to every night after school, and you prayed he hadn’t suspected you either.

bunz

that’s tough lol

sucks for u

saxyguy1002

says the one who has no friends

how’s being lonely? :p

There was this urge to tell him, I miss you, but you were too afraid. He was already treating you like a stray in school, what more if he finds out who you were behind this persona you’ve built for him.

bunz

i have one more question

saxyguy1002

hit me

bunz

do u know bl?

saxyguy1002

**bbl

and yes i do ofc

bunz

ew perv

not that

boy’s love

saxyguy1002

yea

apparently it’s a genre now

there’s this guy in our school that reads them

You couldn’t quite understand if you wanted to cry or laugh.

bunz

really?

what do u think abt him then?

saxyguy1002

that bl shit gives me the creeps

all that dirty shit?

two disco sticks?

bunz

um???

not the disco sticks 😭😭

saxyguy1002

do u read?

bunz

what if i do…

saxyguy1002

i’ll make an exception

just don't mention it ever again 😁

bunz

kys :3 (jk, but i still hate u)

saxyguy1002

i will :p (jk 2, but i don’t hate u so deal with it)

You shook your head again, water brimming on both eyes. You ran your fingers through your hair, knowing you could never go any further from this. You could just stop talking to him, block him even, but your heart wouldn’t allow you to. Everytime you tried, you were brought back to that little spot at the park, under the biggest tree, the tips of your noses almost touching.

Thinking about it makes you think about what he thought about everything, about you, then and now. You thought maybe at some point in time he saw you the same way, maybe he did, and he got scared so he started bullying you too. You’d sigh heavily, slapping a mental note onto yourself —you have got to stop letting the manga get into your head Y/n.

In a blink, you were back in your hideout. Your leg got restless, shaking continuously as you read. Earlier you thought you had seen someone following you from the corner of your eye. No one came in after you after waiting for twenty minutes, so you sat down where you’d usually be. Your eyes momentarily watched for the door, afraid that they might burst in and beat you up, or lock you in.

Suddenly what you were reading got more interesting. You were fully immersed with the scene that played before you, acting out the expressions drawn on the characters. And his eyes dripped with honey as he got closer, allowing his desire to win him over, and soon their lips met and clashed with so much—

You jumped at the sound of the door being slammed wide open. You’d curl into yourself, dropping your phone. It was like the walls were closing in on you, already feeling the humiliation, the suffering.

“Oh, sorry, are you okay? I was just here for…” it was an unfamiliar voice, “...I actually don’t know why I’m here either. I guess I needed some space away from those people.”

You’d warily lift your head up, being met with a cautious stare.

“Wait, are you Y/n? from the neighboring class right?” your nod was only subtle, but he’d beam at you so brightly. “I’m Matthew, can I come in?”

You nod again, freeing yourself from your own restraint. You’d sit yourself properly, watching him scan around the room for a place to sit. You moved over a bit, and that was enough to tell him to sit next to you. It was an awkward few first seconds till he bent down to reach for your phone. You grew nervous when his eyes stayed a little too long on your phone screen as he handed it to you.

“You’re in that chapter already? you must be an avid reader.” your eyes dilated at his words, and he’d chuckle at your reaction.

“You read?” you were evidently hesitant, your volume would only be that of a mouse.

He’d hum a response, nodding at the same time. “Sometimes for the story, sometimes for the art. The author of that manga is great as fuck, and the artstyle too!” he was able to crack a smile out of you, it’s been a great while. “But, I am curious, why are you here?”

You shrugged at first, not really knowing what to say. Besides, no one has ever bothered to ask you about anything if it’s not to mess with you. “My classmates hate me.”

“Hmm, I heard.” of course he had, everyone has. “Is it really because you’re gay?”

Your eyes would shift to the side before you nod your head.

“That’s crazy. I’m bi, I mean, I haven’t come out yet, but —I think it’s ridiculous. It’s the 21st century, are we seriously still about that.” he’d sigh like he’d had the biggest dilemma of his life.

And it made you laugh, it was very little, but it was enough.

“Hey, we should hang out some other time, how’s that sound?”

You were still cautious about the whole thing, afraid that it might be a trap of some sort. All it took was another smile from him, and you’d finally say, “That sounds cool.”

You two walked out of that room together, and he kept chattering on about things you couldn’t quite remember at the end of the day, and in the same hallway, you stumbled upon your nightmare. He was boring holes into your soul, making you stop in your tracks.

“Y/n?” Matthew called for you when he noticed that you were no longer beside him. He noticed the way your eyes dropped dead, staring ahead, he turned his head to where you looked, but when he did, Seunghan was already walking away.

Matthew took a few steps back, meeting you again. “Does he bother you or something?”

“No.” technically, you were telling the truth. You were still so tolerant with him, because you still liked him. “You should get away from me.”

He was clearly taken aback by your request, and he could sense you meant well. “Is it that bad?” he’d ask you, concern painted well on his face.

You shrugged once again, still not figuring out how to properly convey what you wanted to say, “They might get you too, because of me.”

“Don’t think so. You think they’ll touch anyone from the pilot class? —no offense, I think you’re great, but your class is a cluster of utter garbage.” he was right, and you’d subconsciously nod at him. “So I’ll stick around, see ya!”

You didn’t even notice that you were already near your classroom. You stood still, watching him as he walked back to his own classroom, just next to yours. You weren’t quite ecstatic about going back to that room, so a hand to your shoulder granted you the favor, stopping you from taking another step.

“Who’s your new owner?” you gulped at the all too familiar voice that crept behind you.

“Owner?”

“Huh, so you answer now?” you didn’t bother turning your head, instead, Seunghan would move himself in front of you, “Matthew —you know what you looked like? you looked like his pet.” he laughs at you, but you’d keep your eyes on the floor. “Do better Y/n, geez, at least fix yourself first before trying to hang out with actual people.”

Because you’re not an actual person, he saw you as an animal, a joke. “At least he wasn’t a liar.” you might’ve been speaking too soon.

Too soon. “What the fuck did you just say?”

You’d shake your head at him, just like all the nights you’ve spent chatting, and you’d walk past him.

He just stood there, unsure of what to do with himself anymore.

“Bro, Seunghan, what the hell was that?” he couldn’t avert his eyes from his shoelaces, tracing the pattern it made with his gaze.

“I could’ve beaten him to a pulp if I were you —you know what, we’ll do it for you since you’re being such a puss.” the others’ words went into one ear and out the other.

He can’t help but think if it was all worth it. If avoiding the consequences, the pain, did it actually do him better?

“Seunghan, what are you thinking about?” his sister sat on his desk, tapping on it with her fingers.

He could only give her a blank stare, that would soon trail off into the distance. Chaeyoung just eyed him, and smugness was written all over her face.

“Y/n?” she scoffed. “You’re thinking about him?”

Seunghan only glanced at her for a brief moment, and she’d slam her palm against his desk.

“It’s not like that—”

“I’m not that dumb, Seunghan.” she truly wasn’t when she was able to ruin two lives, and probably more outside his scope.

“I promise it’s not what you think.” he kept his voice monotone, and his sister would roll her eyes at him.

“Just keep up the act, and maybe, I’d consider not telling our parents just how disgusting you are.”

Disgusting —was a word you’d often hear from him, how ironic. It was those times when he’d ridicule your love for reading bl mangas, just snatching your phone whenever he felt like it.

“I can’t believe you actually enjoy this, disgusting.”

Yet, that still wasn’t enough for you to see him as your enemy.

saxyguy1002

hey bunz

bunz

what

saxyguy1002

how r u?

being lonely and miserable and all

bunz

lol

ykw i have a friend now

and he reads bl too

go fuck yourself

saxyguy1002

woah woah

i was joking 😢

but

respectfully, you’re disgusting

for that

bunz

kys :>

saxyguy1002

not until we meet

bunz

you want to…?

saxyguy1002

i mean

ig?

i just wondered if u were just as much of a twink irl like you are in chat

bunz

fuck you, actually

saxyguy1002

u cant fuck me

i’m not gay

bunz

blocked

saxyguy1002

NO PLSSSSSSSSSS

😭😭😭😭😭

begging on my KNEES rn

don’t

if this makes u feel better

i meant to say cute

not twink :p

Again, you were double guessing whether this was true, this whole conversation, the situation, if this was even Seunghan you’re talking to.

bunz

i need to sleep

night

saxyguy1002

and i’ll be outside ur window

better close it now 👹

bunz

nahh bfr my bedroom is at the second storey 😬

saxyguy1002

now who said i cant float

you’ll float too 🤡

bunz

bye pennywise

kys :3 (not fr tho)

saxyguy1002

i will :p (i won’t dw)

You leaned back against your desk chair, a tired exhale escaping your mouth as you turned off your computer. To say that you didn’t look forward to getting home just to talk to him would be a complete lie. You were even a lot more enthusiastic, though it doesn’t show through your messages that much, you just wished it could be like this in real life too.

If he was genuine about wanting to see you, and if he finally did, what would be his reaction then? Would he keep himself away from you? hurt you even more? —your thoughts kept running, until they got too tired and the running turned into crawling, creeping, and soon you were fast asleep.

“Y/n, off to where?” you were startled, hearing your name for the first time that day, and from a new voice that you had been waiting for the whole day.

“Matthew. Just going to the library, I have to pick something up.”

“Just a quick trip? we still have…” he pauses for a while to look at his wrist watch, “About thirty minutes till class. Do you have something to do?”

You consciously tapped on your sides, thinking about how you were only getting what you needed early so you wouldn’t have to run into trouble later in the day, “No, not really, not yet.”

“Oh, so then would you wanna stay in the library a little longer? we could read there for a while.”

It really was that hard to decline, so in a span of minutes, you were both seated in the library, not on books, but on your phones.

“You think you could pause reading that for a while?” he whispered so closely to your ear that you almost cringed.

“What? this?” he nods at you, and you’d ask again, “Why?”

“So we can read it together. You’re only three chapters ahead of me, maybe I can catch up by the end of the day —or now.”

His request had caused you to blink repeatedly for a few seconds before you got to respond, “The chapters themselves are pretty long…”

“Please?”

You could only stare at him, trying to search for your next words within the lines of his face. “Okay, but you better start reading now.”

“Will do!” you’d give him a silent laugh, and in return he exudes a low chuckle, it was such a pleasant sound that you felt ashamed for wanting to ask him to do it again.

Both of you have grown oblivious of the people entering and leaving the library, and the one that watched you from the distance, he had almost forgotten what he was there for. He was preoccupied with how you seemed to no longer care or be cautious of your surroundings.

He saw it, the way you smiled. He’d been denying it for so long, but he missed it. He missed you. He missed when it was him you used to smile at like that. But there was not much he could do. If only you knew he was just afraid as you were of the world the two of you lived, so cruel, but he could only imagine just how cruel the world has been to you.

Somehow he thought he should be thankful that Matthew had followed you to that room, but it should’ve been him opening that door, he had to back out when he saw Matthew, because just like you, he had an ephemeral suspicion that he might be someone to look out for. All those thoughts flew out his mind like a fly when he saw you at that hallway with the other guy, it’s his first time in a while seeing you be yourself, at ease. It seemed so surreal, but he couldn’t get over seeing you like that with someone who wasn’t him. It used to be him, but then again, your severance was the bearing of his own mistakes. He didn’t mean to have such sharp eyes pinned at you when he saw you, it was a mask. He felt so close to losing.

His friends weren’t any better than him. He knew he was just around to please them. He never really got off of bullying you, it was all orders. If he even dared to go against them, he might never see you again. He’s got himself wrapped around his sister’s pointy fingers.

That summer before middle school, he confronted his sister about the things she’s been doing, the crude things she’s been saying. “You need to stop. Just because Y/n didn’t like you back?”

“Why do you care shithead?” he was caught off guard with the words that came out of her sister's mouth.

“He’s my best friend, I care about him —and do you not understand that he just didn’t like you that way? and he doesn’t even hate you either, so I don’t get why you’re being like this.”

What he didn’t understand was that a hurt ego hits back harder than a heavy loaded truck, “Maybe because he liked you.” he found himself playing with his own hands, “Never thought about it huh? well I have. That’s gross, Seunghan.”

“So what?” her sick laughter came attacking him right as he spoke.

“Don’t tell me you like him too.”

“So what?” he repeats as he stands assertive.

The irked girl tilted her head, raising a brow whilst her lips rose to a smirk, “I’ll tell, and you’ll see just how ridiculous you’re being.”

“Tell?”

“Our parents. You know I will. Fix yourself, or I’ll do it for you.”

Fix? —the thing is, if their parents ever knew, they’d do everything in their power to get him out of that town, away from you. He lived in a religious household, one that’s conservative, believes a man is only for a woman, and a woman is only for a man.

He still kept messaging you, secretly. He knew that once middle school started, he’d never be able to be the same with you again.

seungsseung 💥💥

hey

i’m gonna miss you

y/n 🥕

why?

we’re literally seeing each other tomorrow

seungsseung 💥💥

take care of urself all the time

can u do it?

y/n 🥕

seunghan?

ur scaring me

seungsseung 💥💥

sorry

It was the last conversation you had with him. You fell asleep, not foreseeing your unfortunate days ahead of you.

It hurt to remember, but he would never forget. Then he was too terrified of the consequences, but now he was learning to be more capable, and maybe he could release himself from the chains that trapped him in this dark, secluded place. He wanted it to become a reality, him not having to torment you for the sake of getting closer to you, or hearing your voice.

onto the next? >> part 2

#riize #briize #riize fanfic #riize x reader #riize au #riize seunghan #hong seunghan #riize angst #riize fluff #boy's love

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will80sbyers · 1 year

Text

people truly think that if you have a blog about something like byler you're gonna kys if for some reason it doesn't happen... babes I will be angry and disappointed if I get queerbaited and I will keep talking shit about the Duffers without any doubt but I'm not going to seriously jump from a window if a TV show I like doesn't end up like I think it should... are you projecting on me or something 💀

#byler #will byers #mike wheeler

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immaeatingwood · 5 months

Text

OK I've made Inside Out personifications (like the guys in My Own Head) SO LETS GOOO TW BODY HORROR, BLOOD, S/H, ED MENTIONS UNDER THE CUT

Disquiet (she/they/harlequinn) - Figets A LOT - More like ADHD thing - Is in charge of hyperfixations and daydreaming - Moves a lot - Listens to VOCALOID

Apathy (she/they) - Has no energy for anything - Tears on their face sre drawn - Ringing in their ears goes dinggggg - Doesnt wash and scratches a lot - Sleeps around 12 hours a day

Panic (he/they/neos) - Thinks that everyone watches him - Nosebleeds often - Hallucinates - is prone to s/h - All of the eyes except ones in his mouth and under the bandage can see

Rage (he/fire) - Uncontrollable - Can say kys - Anyways, cries a lot - Can harm himself or others when angry - But never will touch anyone wo is weaker (esp children and animals)

Rejection (any pronouns) - Throws up after eating (or bc of stress) - Wears bandages on their chest (knows that its wrong but has a severe body dysphoria) - Is also prone to harming himself - Doesn't sleep good - Sensory issues

Anxiety (wont even rename) (any pronouns) - Can't talk - Is always at work - Always looks back - Can "overwhelm" and faint - Thinks that everyone are suspicious

Awkwardness (he/it) - Can be agressive if you'll make it shy - Doesn't work properly - Looks scary but is harmless - In fact, it's even a kind person - Likes cherries

Lack of feelings(?) (they/it) - Almost blind - Stumbles - Is here just because - AFAB but their voice is VERY low - Loves Anxiety

Envy/Jealousy (she/they) - Kinda lazy - Touches the control once a year - Has two names - Watches trashy TV shows - Needs body doubling

#inside out #inside out 2 #inside out personifications #inside out joy #inside out sadness #inside out fear #inside out anger #inside out disgust #inside out anxiety #inside out embarassment #inside out ennui #inside out envy #inside out au #tw body horror #body horror tw #creepy tw #tw creepy #tw ed #tw sh

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winterxisxcomingx · 2 months

Note

why are you so obssesed with poly ships? i've been lurking around your blog and you seem to put a lot of characters from your fandoms in poly ships, you even have a sideblog with polyamory in url and i'm curious why

ik you might just be poly yourself and looking for representantion which is valid even when you have to make it up bc there's not much of those relationships in media

but if your mono then what exactly about those ships interests you?

sorry if it's rude to ask or sth, i don't want to offend but i was seriously wondering

ohh that's interesting haha but im glad you're not mean

welp, it's just one of my interests, ya know. My bachelor's thesis was about polyamory representation in media and just overall - it's history, how people are seeing it, how they react to it, how this kind of relationships works. Like, idk it's just interesting to me. Also, poly is kinda part of lgbt+ community, but it isn't exactly popular in media or and lgbt doesn't really talk about it as much as about trans or other orientations. Lately, people has taken an interest in polyamory, and not only in a sexual way but also as a romantic, beautiful relationship, and I guess im just part of this group.

and representation in media? Oh lord, don't let me start on that. There's like one or two good representation in movies/shows, while others are just toxic and all are doing are harden negative stereotypes.

Also, ive been a shipper since i was a little kid. Idk men, I just like idea of people loving each other. Movies and tv shows in 20's were all about love triangles, and honestly why? I mean, if you both love one person, and that person can't seem to chose because she also loves both of you, then... don't you see a solution? I mean, obviously, it isn't that easy in real life, but in a movies? Why not just let them love each other without drama.

Oh yes, another thing: fandom dramas. I hate those, truly. Ive been in many fandoms before, and in most of them there is that discourse 'ship A vs ship B" usually having "G+K or G+N" and people are literally throwing insults and kys at each other just because they can't accept that other people like different dynamics than them. That's stupid all in itself, but welp.. I guess polyamory is some kind of way of remis? I mean, in poly you can ship both ships without argument. They can be in open relationship or close, they can be triad or just one person loving two others. Like, in a fictional world, it's the best solution, isn't it? It's us who create characters' thoughts, dynamic, emotions... We *can* make it work!

So hm that would be that, I think? Love is beautiful and you can make it that way if u want to!

I hope it answers your question ahaha

#ask #polyamory #still *obsessed* is a big word #I mean would you call a person who likes romance an obsessed person?#someone who likes mostly wlw/mlm/hetero ships a obsessed person?#obsessed has rather a negative meaning and i dont think it suits my situation #but i guess maybe you didn't mean it that way idk

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stupidflux · 10 months

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Hello hello !! I'm stupidflux , but that's just my silly online alias. You can call me that if you want ,, but I go by Azi ! :3

〰︎𖤐˚ I use she / it / he / xe / fae / ir / vey

〰︎𖤐˚ I'm an aroaceflux lesbian , I'm also genderfluid

〰︎𖤐˚ I'm autistic and I sometimes go nonverbal

〰︎𖤐˚ I'm Filipino !! But I am sadly not fluent in speaking Tagalog but I do understand it [occasionally,,, ]

〰︎𖤐˚ I am a minor so uh don't be too weird , my age range is 13-17

〰︎𖤐˚ I have a lot of interests ,, but the ones I frequently ramble about are Overwatch , object shows , Pokémon , and some Dropout TV stuff !! If you like any of these things PLEASE INTERACT !

〰︎𖤐˚ I do tend to have lewd humor and say kys quite a bit so if we talk please let me know if you need me to tone it down

〰︎𖤐˚ I am on Insta which is @/stupidflux [I plan to be more active on there again]

〰︎𖤐˚ I have a Discord so if you wanna talk n be friends feel free to ask me for it !

〰︎𖤐˚ Same thing pretty much goes for my Battle.Net info too , if you ever need someone to play Overwatch with hmu !! However I don't frequent comp so be aware of that

〰︎𖤐˚ My art tag on here is #stupidflux posting , my rambling tag is #stupidflux being a stupid fuck , my askbox answering tag is #stupidflux silly talks , my writing tag is #stupidflux does the stupid writings , and my tag for my potgs is #stupidflux potg apparently

〰︎𖤐˚ If there's anything I may have missed about me , it's probably on my carrd : https://stupidflux.carrd.co

That's all !! Sorry if it was lengthy haha

#stupidflux being a stupid fuck #stupidflux posting #stupidflux silly talks #stupidflux does the stupid writings #stupidflux potg apparently #introducing myself #intro post

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dramamines · 5 months

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OC facts!! Now featuring Wren and Naomi

Quinn:

Binge watches the same 5 shows over and over again instead of trying new things (unless Estelle forces her to)

Huge fan of horror movies

Dark humour

Kys/kms jokes constantly

Cannot stand condiments on anything

Low empathy

Verbal stims

Hates art style and changes all the time

Always cold- layerssss

Indie rock listener

Favourite bands: Band of Horses, Built to Spill, Modest Mouse, Car Seat Headrest, Dinosaur Jr, Pixies, Jesus and Mary Chain, The Strokes

No shame in public, will easily go up and talk to people (doesn’t enjoy socialising though)

Great at lying

Talks with heaps of pauses between sentences and words

Estelle:

Incredible baker

Likes cleaning (its therapeutic)

Mum friend tm

School notes are decorated with highlighter and hearts n shit

Loves painting fingernails and owns like 50 different nail polishes

Hardly ever swears, and shocks everyone when she does

Fantazises about being confident and singing in front of everyone but is wayyyyy to shy to ever do it

Fantastic singer and loves karaoke (only w close friends)

Roommates with Cleo

Is the sole reason the friend group is still alive

Cat lady

Always carrying sketchbook

Secretly very full of herself

Gets jealous easily but tries to hide it

Very protective of friends

People are always surprised when she says she’s lesbian

Listens to stereotypical soft lesbian music

Favourite bands/artists: girl in red, Mitzki, Mother Mother, Lana Del Rey, Tv Girl, Arctic Monkeys

Kai:

Can learn the lyrics to every song they listen to after the third listen

The biggest flirt with people they don’t like

Cant flirt for SHIT with people they actually like

Have had 7 SO’s before they got into QPR

Really athletic and sport is the only reason they’re still in school

Tall and likes to lean on short people (Cleo)

Cut off from family due to conservatism

Was out to friends since they were 10, didn’t come out to family until 16 (got kicked out)

Can hardly draw a stick figure

Really supportive of Quinn and Estelle’s art

Supportive partner tm

Class clown and gets told off all the time

#12 year old boy humour

Loves to pull pranks (not harmful ones though)

Swears CONSTANTLY

Can’t watch anything for more than 30 minutes (hell to take to movies)

Likes rap and hip hop music

Favourite artists: Eminem, Tupac, Snoop Dogg, Jay-Z, Nas, The Notorious B.I.G., Beastie Boys, Fatboy Slim

Basil:

Biggest loser you’ll ever meet

Constantly binding

Writes love poetry

Always roped in to shit Kai does

Thinks of himself as sensible but is an absolute dumbass

Owns like 15 argyle vests (what is wrong with this guy)

Watches anime and has been to cons

Cosplays against his will

Clumsy but perfectionistic

Tries to be cottagecore goals

Has always had the blonde patch in his hair

Wants to shrivel up and die everytime someone he knew pre transition meets him

Tries to hide being trans

Hopeless romantic

Listens to britpop

Favourite bands: Pulp, Oasis, Blur, Suede (basic ass taste tbh) (jkjk I love all those bands)

Cleo:

Sets things on fire for fun

Triple threat (acting, singing, dancing)

Refuses to eat food correctly and it bothers EVERYONE

Hates wearing shoes (sensory things)

Owns heaps of jewellery

Very open about being trans, has gone to activism events

Little to no dysphoria, is willing to go shirtless at the pool and stuff

Was a crossdresser before out

Hair is basically straw after the amount of times she’s dyed it

Open to neopronouns

Doodles in the margins of all her books

Owns WAYYY too many headbands

Loves every woman ever but only one very specific type of man

Has never dated before

Short temper and has angry outbursts often

Befriended Wren and Naomi through theatre, and introduced them to the group

Organises all the group events

Likes older indie pop music

Favourite bands/artists: Los Campesinos, Broken Social Scene, MGMT, Arcade Fire, Belle and Sebastian, Vampire Weekend, TV Girl, Tame Impala

Wren:

Super impatient

Very smart but doesn’t show it

All clothes are like 5 years old

No one knows his AGAB and he’d like to keep it that way

Just labels herself as queer cause its easiest

Mostly attracted to women/fem presenting people

Only owns band t-shirts

Loves puzzles and other mind games

Always hot but never takes off jacket

Talks really fast

Split dyed hair since they were 13, sentimentally attached to it now

Cheap and broke

Stubborn

Limited social filter, comes off as standoffish

Messy AF room

Gets along really well with Quinn

Black humour

Loves horror

Wants to work in indie animation and tv

Voice and stage actor

Laidback until provoked

LoFi indie rock music lover

Lives by himself

Favourite bands: Car Seat Headrest, Pixies, Neutral Milk Hotel, Black Country New Road, Pavement, Hole, Nirvana, Spiderbait, The White Stripes, The Strokes

Naomi:

Apathetic attitude towards most things

Tries to appear socially acceptable

Very forgiving person

Uses words like ‘bitch’ affectionately

Complicated relationship with mother

Classically attractive

Naturally blonde (hates it)

Wearing glasses since she was 4

Loyal friend

Can act and dance

Lighthearted humour

Bossy but good leader

Will literally listen to any music

Genres: pop, rock, rnb, lofi, alternative, punk, rap, hip hop, classical, instrumental, opera, grunge, emo, indie pop, jass, edm, country, metal, funk,

Will genuinely listen to anything

#long post #ballena rambles #my ocs #quinn o'brian #estelle abara #kai guerroro #basil logos #wren brimmer #naomi hutchens #cleo singh #oc #ocs #facts #oc facts #writing #my characters #characters

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lunarruled · 1 year

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THINGS MY MUSE DISLIKES

Muse name: Kyleigh Marie Thompson (Morningstar)

Favorite nickname: Ky

Least favorite season: Summer

Least favorite—- hot or cold?: Hot (it's the worst!)

Least favorite holiday: Valentine's Day (she doesn't see the point to it)

Least favorite food: Coconut and Pineapple

Least favorite flavor: Fish

Least favorite drink: Coffee

Least favorite sound: Anything really loud, kids screaming, crying

Least favorite tv shows: All those tear-jerking dramas, soap operas

Least favorite aspect of their job: Being asked if there's a man around that can do the job (if she's at the garage), dealing with rude customers (as a waitress or bartender)

Least favorite trait in others: Lying

Least favorite place: Anywhere confined, jail

Least favorite thing to talk about: Feelings of any kind that aren't anger or pain

Least favorite daily chore: Dealing with people in general

Least favorite type of clothing: Dresses, skirts, heels

Least favorite power that your muse has: Shifting into her lycan form (it's painful and the ache lingers)

Least favorite thing about falling in love: The whole falling in love with someone thing

Least favorite thing about death: Being the cause of it in someone else

Tagged by: @luposcainus (yay thank you!)

Tagging: Everyone that sees this!

#☾ out of fur (ooc)#☾ dash games #☾ about Kyleigh #☾ her dislikes #☾ haha I had to use that gif too #☾ thank you for tagging me!#☾ have fun with this one

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