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i-am-just-a-kiddo · 3 years

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favourite male fictional characters

Thank you @vishcount for tagging me, this was a lot of fun! 💞 I originally planned to follow your example and put ten characters here but suddenly it became a lot more oops. also i hope you forgive me for following your format, it’s neat

I am tagging @isabellaofparma , @the-cloud-whisperer and @sassyassassy!

I chose the characters that impacted me deeply on a personal level throughout my life (often shown by how long my love lasts over the years and if i was inspired to write for them).

In no specific order under the cut:

Legolas

The Lord of The Rings, J.R.R. Tolkien.

I think it’s only fitting I start off with this magnificent guy. Maybe I gotta admit, i’ve just had a crush on him ever since I was like, nine years old? He’s the character I will fight tooth and claw for (though I guess he doesn’t need me to do that). I love Orlando Bloom’s portrayal of him, eventhough he is vastly different from the books. Book Legolas is such a delight as well, he feels so whimsical and playful and his banter with Gimli is just gold. I was sad when The Hobbit trilogy came out and I was so disappointed by how they butchered his character, it just did not feel authentic anymore (maybe I am also just bitter about the forced hetero storyline for him. makes no cents, this elf is GayTM your honour. and he will meet his soulmate Gimli in a few decades). Either way, Legolas is the love of my life, thanks for coming to my tedtalk,

Peter Pan

Peter Pan, J. M. Barrie

Another childhood crush of mine. The gif I chose if from the 2005 movie because we always used to watch it and it is to this day one of my favourite movies. It’s so dreamy, so magical, yet also incredibly sad and sweet. I have this very strange fascination with Peter Pan. There is something incredibly unsettling about him, especially in the book. He represents something every child wants - who doesn’t want to escape their bedroom and fly away to experience magical adventured far from the adult world? And yet he also represents the impossibility of it, the curse he carries around with himself because he will forever stay alone, no matter how many lost boys he gathers around himself. And Wendy - it’s a love that was never meant to grow and mature, it’s a fleeting dream for the both of them. I have seen many different adaptations of Peter Pan and I have my favourites, though I want to give a special mention to the book Peter Darling by Austin Chant. It’s a retelling of the story how we know it, in which Peter returns to Neverland after having finally grown up BUT the main points I want to highlight is trans Peter? Heck yes. Gripping and compelling gay love story with our favourite original lost boy Captain Hook? YES.

Snufkin

Moomins, Tove Jansson.

I have discovered Snufkin for myself only last year, and yet I know he will stay with me forever. In short - I vibe with him, he vibes with me. His anxieties about being with people and longing for solitude? His fear of being loved and being important to someone to a point he doesn’t know what to do with himself? This man just wants to roam freely with his own mind and yet he always returns for something that captures him. Mum, I love him because I have rarely felt this seen before. Also, Snufkin said ACAB.

Prince Jing - Xiao Jingyan

Nirvana in Fire (2015)

This too is a darling I have only discovered recently. I watched Nirvana in Fire this year and let me tell you, it’s the best show I have seen in a long while. It’s absolutely amazing and it also ripped my heart out. All the characters are absolutely amazing and I am still not over it.

To be honest, I contemplated between Xiao JIngyan and Mei Changsu, because character-wise I think the latter is a lot more interesting and compelling. He makes for a fantastic heartbreaking and flawed protagonist.

However I have to admit - it was love at first sight with Prince Jing for me and I’m still lowkey mad abt it rip. Seems like I am not immune to Pretty Prince Propaganda. But apart from that, I adore him for his genuine

goodness,

his almost naive drive to be better and seek justice. He lost everything, and for the longest time did not have anything to fight for. So alone and lost and bitter, it makes me sad how much it hardened him. He is heartbreak and clumsy kindness hidden under a skin of scars that was inflicted by his father and many others. I see his sad cat-eyes and I cry, that’s just how it is.

Edmund Pevensie

The Chronicles of Narnia, C. S. Lewis

I grew up with these books and movies - they have always been part of my life and it will probably always stay that way (only last night I rewatched the first movie and sobbed). Imagine my surprised when I finally watched the last movie about five years ago and was incredibly impressed by how they adapted the book; also imagine my brain suddenly going CASMUND in bold letters at Skandar Keynes’ and Ben Barnes’ performance in that movie. From there, I rediscovered this story completely anew for myself. My favourite Pevensie sibling has always been Lucy (and still is, because I identify with her so much and she feels like home to me); however this new discovery of Edmund’s character was overwhelming. It’s interesting to see characters you’ve grown up with from a more grown up point of view. I don’t want to lay out all my thoughts here, just know I am so heartbroken for him, and so so proud as well. His character arc is amazing and maybe that’s how the last movie makes me even more emotional. Seeing Edmund and Lucy still holding on to Narnia but knowing that that door was closing for them? Not to mention what happens in the later books (we don’t talk about that). Also did I mention Casmund. Here, have my incredibly emo and depressing take on Edmund’s character that I started writing four years ago and which will forever stay a WIP.

Nie Huaisang

The Untamed (2019)

My son. My soul. My bane of existence. The tragic thing about him is, that he does not really exist in canon as I have created him for myself. He’s a secondary character in the show, always so relatable yet still brings the ultimate twist of the story, yet he still remains this incomplete shadow. The movie

Fatal Journey

gave him a lot more and I cried tears of joy and devastation. I don’t know why I latched on to him so much, but apparently he is the one that I project on, the one that feels like he sits somewhere inside my chest. I don’t know what else to say - this year he has been everything to me. I spend a lot of time in his head while writing, and maybe that’s how he’s there forever now. Nie Huaisang saw my brain and went it’s free real estate. All my love for you, you dramatic art hoe.

Sherlock Holmes

Sherlock Holmes, Sir Arthur Conan Doyle

Ah, another lifelong companion. There are many adapations that I adore - starting from the origin of it all, the books and stories which I have all devoured; the 80s adaptation with Jeremy Brett which was incredibly wonderful; to BBC Sherlock which shaped and traumatised me (I still like the first three seaons but I am too hurt to think about it); to the numerous movies - but by far my most favourite performance is Basil Rathbone as Sherlock Holmes. Somehow he manages to capture the Holmes I see in my head when I read the books, the sharp yet polite eccentric detective, who loves his companion so much and who has desire to help others. Sherlock Holmes will always stay special to me, in so many different ways. He shaped my youth and I know he will stay with me. (also what would you say when I told you he helped me discover that I can, in fact, be queer AND ace at the same time? thanks pal). What else is there to say? Sherlock Holmes is a universe that you can dive into and find many amazing treasures.

Isak Valtersen

SKAM (2015)

There he is, the boy that changed my life. SKAM changed my life. All of the characters did. However, Isak is special for many, as I imagine. I remember winter 2016, when tumblr was flooded by these norwegian white boys kissing in a pool and cuddling and I was like ‘nah’, this doesn’t look convincing. I don’t know what changed my mind but I remember sitting down at last and watching all that was released of season three and it was only downhill from there. I remember starting to follow the real life updates religiously while watching the other previous seasons in between. The one clip that completely wrecked me was when Isak went to the school nurse about his struggles with sleep - it felt like for the first time I saw someone on screen that could understand me on so many different levels. The entierty of seaons three is so personal, I would tell you to go watch it if you don’t know what I mean. The entire show in fact. It’s a masterpiece and it feels so real. This show impacted my life in a way that no show has managed to do before. I miss it so much. I miss Isak too sigh.

Shang Xirui

Winter Begonia (2020)

Technically, for me personally, Shang Xirui is the nonbinary, gay and ace representation I need in my life (or at least that’s my own personal take on him), but since that is not official, he’s still here on this list. Of course he is because wow, it’s been a long while since I’ve seen such a compelling character on screen. I went from disliking him to being absolutely heartbroken over him. I don’t think any other character in this show captured me as much as he did. There are so many layers to him and discovering all of his sides is a wonderful, heartbreaking, painful and also beautiful journey. I’m not sure I understand all of him yet, but I am willing to try and dig and just ponder his existence. This too, is a perfect example for a flawed yet authentic protagonist. Also he is the most beautiful thing on this planet, or at least that’s how I have been feeling ever since I watched this. I wish to write more of him in the future.

Aang

Avatar: The Last Airbender (2005)

I grew up watching ATLA and my favourite characters have always been Toph, Zuko and Uncle Iroh. In recent years however, I completely fell in love with Aang all anew.

I think especially in the past, I had these prejudices against main characters and found them all the most boring personalities ever. In recent years this changed a lot and especially Aang is a prime example for that. Watching him from the perspective of older me, I find so much wisdom in this young boy. Somehow he represents all I wish to be in my life but at the same time he shows his flaws, he carries this sadness with him that will accompany him all his life. This inner battle and chaos that he has to face day to day and in the end - he is just a young boy. So much has been taken from him and yet he learns how to not let it overtake him, that anger and hurt. He tries his hardest to be better than the day before, even if sometimes the world crashes down on him and he gets overwhelmed. He is a child recruited by adults to manage their mistakes and play into the hands of predestined fate and in this essay I will -

Harry Potter

Harry Potter, J.K. Rowling

I am surprised myself. I thought I would put Fred and George here, or Remus and Sirius, however I realised that none of them quite capture this feeling of lifelong change, of personal, deep impact that Harry had on me.

As with Aang above, I used to think Harry was the most boring protagonist, yet my opinion took a 180° turn in the past years. Many of the things I wrote for Aang apply to him too - the fact that he was a child, that lost so much, and was always faced with challenges that a child should never have needed to face. Something I want to address is how my favourite book, The Order of the Phoenix, lays all of this out. Harry is just as flawed, just as vulnerable and angry as anyone else. I know some people did not like his ‘emo behaviour’ in the fifth book but for me it just showed how human he is, how he was just a teen like myself at that time. As for many, this boy shaped my entire life, shaped a generation, and I will forever be grateful. I’m sad and angry at how J*R behaves, and how she puts us in the position of doubting our love for these stories. I know I will always love them, but I will not turn a blind eye on all the problematic shit is carries with itself and what the author piles upon us.

Lan Wangji & Wei Wuxian

The Untamed (2019)

I will try and keep this short, because if you want to read my thoughts about Wangxian just go to my ao3 and find the over 70k i wrote for them. I decided to put them here together because I can’t seperate them and I can’t choose between them. Each of them carries something I recognise in myself, and each of them is the opposite of me. They each own my heart and soul and I know there will never be a fictional couple like this for me ever again. They’ve snuck their way into my heart and have never left. They deserve to be here, together, because my love for them is indescribable. Bless them. + Bonus:

The Doctor

Doctor Who (1963/2005)

Technically, the Doctor doesn’t count as a “male” character, but since he has been presenting as male up until recently, I needed to include him. I chose the Tenth Doctor because he is the one that broke my heart the most. I adored Nine but he was there too short, and I do love Eleven and Twelve a lot, and Thirteen absolutely owns my heart, Ten has just always been the one that made me cry the most. I loved this era of Doctor Who, I loved how sad and hopeful he was, how heartbroken and yet determined to help wherever it was needed. Doctor Who is always that show, when I return to it, I am reminded that maybe, humanity and the universe isn’t all that bad.

phew, this took ages damn. but i had so much fun! i decided to leave out honorable mentiones because we would be sitting here until tomorrow lol.

#gosh this was nice #a lot of incoherent rambling here #thanks dear #tag game #personal

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drops-of-moonlights · 4 years

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Specialists, suit up! Magic Transformation!

An update on the guys and on Specialists in general! Descriptions of each guy will be lifted from the older post describing them slightly updating them as well.

Specialists are a less-magically-focused version of Paladins, doing most of the same things but without direct supervision from the Order of Mana, not quite mercenaries but not quite military, either. their armor has wings that let them levitate and fly at high speeds, and when not in use they turn into a cape-like shape.

Sky, Riven, Nex, Brandon and Timmy share a dorm and are Team 3Q, and they’re all in their second year at the start of the series. Riven is older than them, as like Stella he failed his first year, though out of aggresion and an accident than just an accident like Stella.

Sky Calem Beaufort: Crown Prince of Eraklyon, pretended to be his squire Brandon for 2 years when entering Red Fountain due to the recent assasination attempts done on him when he was still unknown to the public by the rogue team of Yoshinoya. He’s sweet and courageous, and has formal training with swords and shields, but he has a habit of procrastinating important stuff and not wanting to talk about royal duties, which is the root of the issue with him, Bloom and Diaspro in S1. Was betrothed to Diaspro since they were both kids, but neither loved each other and was purely a political agreement. Ends up dating Riven at the end of S3.

Brandon Ortiz: Squire of the Crown Prince, second oldest son of 5 siblings. He’s a very jovial person and prone to crack jokes and flirt, but he’s also the most responsible of the team and will hold them by the neck as if kittens if they misbehave. Son of a teacher and a guard, he’s a good cook and agile with his spear, and is one of the main frontliners alongside Riven. While he sticks with Sky due to his job, his friendship with him is real and he’s usually the first one to find out about his issues. Was dating Stella for a year before having to put their relationship on hold during S1, retaking it right after it.

Riven Altamura: Held back a year, he’s a grumpy Orc who’s trying to adapt to the situation. He got along horribly with his previous team, and he’s trying to see how his relationship with the rest will develop. While his face is almost always stuck in an annoyed look, he’s more experienced than the other 4 and tries to guide them whenever they seem to fail, but since he’s prideful and with a short temper, it almost always ends up in a small argument. His father died when he was little, and enrolled in Red Fountain to give some relief to his mom once they started to run into monetary problems. He’s the main frontliner of the team, and favors sabres and other curved swords to fight, though he also has a good handle on maces. He’s a Solarian, and being of age, as a tatoo of a red comet on his back. Ends up dating Sky at the end of S3.

Nex Arancelle: a particularly cocky half-elf, Nex is their second midliner alongside Sky and mostly fights with daggers or axes. He’s equally prideful as Riven and likes to argue, so they butt heads most of the time. He’s a genuinely nice person despite this, and will be the first person to try and defuse a potentially heated situation alongside Brandon when they arise. Everyone in his family are performers or actors, and has inherited their dramatics, which tend to bother everyone else. He translates his gymnastics and gestures into battle, however, and becomes a competent and flexible warrior. He’s from Magix, especifically from the Soraia District. He’s trans, and gets a girlfriend during the downtime in S4.5.

Timothy “Timmy” Ayton: A somewhat aloof elf, he’s their main gunslinger and long range fighter. Timmy is very smart and confident in his intelligence, and will gleefully correct everyone else once in a while, but he’s insecure in his social skills and sticks to his team most of the time, only occasionally talking to other classmates. He’s their fastest fighter and has a decent skill with daggers, but he sticks with his guns most of the time as none of the other guys are good with aim, especially aim from a distance. He comes from Dolona. Starts dating Tecna at the end of S5.

Helia Saladin: he’s the grandson of Headmaster Aure Saladin and is a dropout of Red Fountain. He’s a fervent pacifist and has been since a young age, but went to Red Fountain out of obligation and left the school after a heated argument with his family after the first semester, which he had passed with great scores. He works as a small-time traditional artists and lives in Magix City, but occassionally helps the guys whenever they ask him, thought only as support and healing. He’s the Witch of Alloys with powers over minerals and metal and appears as a Glamourix fairy from the start, earning Enchantix behind the scenes in S4 and getting Altheix at the end of S4. Lynphean-Esperian. Starts dating Flora during S2.5.

Nabu Grant Daithe: an Andrian noble, he was born and conceived with the sole purpose of marrying the soon-to-be-born Princess Aisha, and was raised since his youth to be king consort. He vehemently opposed the marriage, however, and shortly before their scheduled meeting, he ran away from home and went undercover as Ophir, a young performer working in Magix. We meet him at Charmix level, and earns his Glamourix near the end of S3 when finally confronting his parents alongside Aisha. He gets his Enchantix at the end of S4, and then gets Onyrix during S4.5. His title is Fairy of Shadows, with power over darkness. Gets a boyfriend during S5.

#Winx Club #Winx Redux AU #Drops's Art #Sky #Riven #Brandon #Timmy #Nex #Helia #Nabu

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linernotesandseasons · 3 years

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My 20 Favorite Albums of 2020

MY 20 FAVORITE ALBUMS OF 2020

LISTEN HERE!

2020 has been a long year. A year full of unrest, darkness, death, depression, & a global pandemic. In 2020 I turned to these songs & albums for comfort. I gained 20 new favorite works of music that I will hold onto for the rest of my life. I have been making this end of the year favorite albums list since 2012, so this is my ninth annual list! For this year, I talked about where, when, & why I fell in love with the following 20 albums. These are the albums that I used to mark Time & Space this year. These are the albums that I will return to and remember the chaos, calm, & comfort of 2020. I also made a 60 song Spotify playlist with a few songs from each album (two of the albums aren’t available on Spotify) that you can listen along with HERE! Ok, here they are, in no particular order, my 20 favorite albums of 2020!

ANGELICA GARCIA / Cha Cha Palace

Angelica Garcia’s dynamic, groundbreaking sophomore album Cha Cha Palace was released on February 28, 2020 to a pre-COVID America. On that Friday I had dropped off my ballot for a local Colorado election and went to Larimer Lounge and saw Seratones play a sweaty rock show. I had no idea what was coming or what was about to change. Cha Cha Palace bookmarked my next couple weeks of waiting, and the CD lived in my car for quite a few essential-worker-commutes through a shut down, sheltered Denver into the Spring. Fittingly, Angelica Garcia’s bombastic, authentic energy is where we begin my list of my favorite albums of 2020.

If you listen close to Cha Cha Palace, Garcia will tell you a lot about her roots. For starters, she duets with her mother Angelica Maria Garcia on the traditional, vocal swirl of “La Llorona” (”The Weeping Woman” from the 1940′s) and also her grandmother Filomena Garcia with a darker, more foreboding take on “La Enorme Distancia.” Roughly translated “The Enormous Distance” is a Mexican folk song originally by Jose Alfredo Jimenez, the king of Ranchera (Mexican Folk music) in Mexico in the 50′s & 60′s. Garcia proudly weaves her Mexican & Salvadorian roots into all the colorful corners of Cha Cha Palace, but it is on the standout, song of the year contender “It Don’t Hinder Me” where she truly gives you a glimpse into her youth growing up in East LA & then Richmond, VA (Richmond’s Spacebomb Records released Cha Cha Palace!) Over one of the crunchiest, wailing-est electric guitars you’ll find on this list, Garcia lets her vocals flutter & soar as she sings about being a kid; peeling mangos in the kitchen, being yelled at to make your bed, dogs in the street, jaywalking to the corner store with your cousins, peering through a chain-link fence, a backyard party playing “Suavamente,” feeling left out, alone, or alienated. Garcia stands up for the kids in America who look & feel like her, like they don’t belong. With her lyrics and her voice (seriously listen to this album, she can really sing) shutting down haters at every turn “But what they say now - It don’t hinder me! It don’t hurt!” Elsewhere, Garcia uses that powerful, elastic voice to drive the bouncy, laugh out loud funny “Karma the Knife,” the looped, rhythmic “Agua De Rosa,” and personal favorite (another song of the year contender!) “Lucifer Waiting.” Riding a thumping synth line, twinkling keys, a great low-end bass, and her own yells & yelps; Garcia lets her enunciation take the song places. The way she draws out the “Luuuuucifer” and the way she stacks up “waiting in the cooorrrrnnneerrrr.” Cha Cha Palace is a masterpiece and Garcia’s vocals & rhythms will take you on a journey through Mexico, Salvador, & Virginia, before ending up right back in east LA where, as Garcia would put it “In American identity, there is no one face.”

“Born of the bones from under east LA / Cultura Chicana is alive today / I want some freedom with my pan dulce / Been wearing my roots & flying this flag / I see you but you don’t see me / Jicama! Jicama! Guava tree / I’ve been trying to tell you but you just don’t see / Like you I was born in this country...”

ANJIMILE / Giver Taker

I was late to the party on Anjimile, but Giver Taker has been a comforting companion during the last few tumultuous months of 2020 here in Denver. Part of the allure of Anjimile (full name Anjimile Chithambo, but they release music as simply Anjimile-emphasis on the “Jim” please) is that these songs have been growing and being rebuilt & remade for quite some time, much like the maker themselves. Billed as a debut album (out on Father Daughter Records-I went ahead and hit for the cycle, that’s what I call buying the vinyl, CD, AND cassette!) many of the songs on Giver Taker have been around for years, solo versions & demos Anjimile recorded by themselves, found here fleshed out with gorgeous, layered production & instrumentation. Chorally trained, Anjimile’s distinctive voice drives these songs, at times stately & elegant (like in the measured “1978″ and the blooming “Your Tree”), but with the capability to be sultry & charming like on the bouncy, effervescent “Baby No More.” The instruments on Giver Taker are lovely; horns, strings, reeds, banjo, congas, all played by a full cast of collaborators. Much like Angelica Garcia wearing her roots on her own 2020 album (see above!), Anjimile’s roots are found all over Giver Taker. The gorgeous album cover painting has a background of sugarcane plants, native to Malawi (where Anjimile’s family is from) and behind that, the river from “The Lion King” (one of Anjimile’s favorite films!) “Maker” deals with Anjimile’s spirituality, and the idea that, as they put it...

"The realization that just as I could build my own sense of spirituality & build my own faith and relate to a God of my understanding, I could do the same thing with my gender and my sexuality. And that's what I did.”

In “Ndimakukonda” Anjimile sings in their parent’s native Chichewa, and powerful closer “To Meet You There” sticks with you long after the album ends. From a gorgeous finger-picked opening, the stage is set. A hurricane off the coast of Florida, a queer, trans kid searching from Texas to Florida to Boston for the truth. Simple words about the end, or maybe the beginning. Then the song swells with drums & strings & horns and transports you away from any of those states, dancing through clouds & waterfalls, maybe with Zazu & Simba & Nala. Voices swell, singing along with Anjimile, lifting up praise “I celebrate your celebration! I revel in your revelation! I holler in your hallelujah! In plain view your azaleas grew!” an inspiring ending to a truly inspirational & exciting album.

“After death, after life / I was up half the night / Hurricane never came / Not for me, not again...:

AMERICAN AQUARIUM / Lamentations

There is a point about two minutes and 46 seconds into American Aquarium’s dramatic, title track opener “Me & Mine (Lamentations)” that makes me feel something every time I hear it. The song starts simply enough. A finger picked acoustic guitar (maybe it’s his trademark 1968 cherry red Gibson J45?!) and BJ Barham’s trademark North Carolina drawl singing about blue collar hard luck. The farmers, the coal miners, his grandfather, the hard work, but also the Darkness on the Edge of Town, “unpaid bills, broken homes, & opioid addiction.” The true story of the disenfranchised American South. Another sad one from the king of sad songs. But then... He pivots. The same pivot Barham used to change his life from alcoholic, road-worn, burnout, to his current credo of hard work & effort. A glimmer of hope as he growls “You see me & mine we ain’t the kind to sit around, idle & complain!” With that, a minor note rings out and the song plunges headlong into a true anthem. This isn’t your typical folk/country/pop/flannel/americana whatever bullshit. American Aquarium will punch you in the face with songs about the value of hard work and standing up for what you believe in. The last three minutes of “Me & Mine” explode into fuzzed out electric guitar, signifying that Lamentations (their eighth studio album!) is deeper and more meaningful than anything American Aquarium has done before. Songs about fighting to change your bad habits & addictions. Songs about challenging your parents religion and calling out (and maybe internet shaming!) your racist uncle. From the southern Petty-ness of sing-alongs “Before the Dogwood Blooms” and “Starts With You” (one of the songs I sang the loudest to in my car this year) to the expected sad ones, and even a special, dark one named after North Carolina tobacco (”Brightleaf & Burley��) about the socioeconomic impact of the illegalization of marijuana in the South! Throughout Lamentations rings with American influences, but challenges current American values.

This is not a band that I would’ve picked as one of my favorite current bands. It makes sense actually, looking back. I grew up on country radio in western slope Rifle, Colorado. KMTS played Garth, Tim McGraw, Travis Tritt, Toby, Kenny, Dierks, and all my high school friends were gun-shooting, camping, fishing good ol’ boys. Later in college, I fell again for Jason Aldean, Luke Bryan, FGL, etc cuz it was “country.” I always knew that Petty, Springsteen, Fleetwood, & Neil Young were technically better, but it’s hard to deny a good pop-country sing along chorus when you’re four beers deep and riding windows-down on a dirt road. Hell, even Phoebe Bridgers (keep reading-if you didn’t think Punisher would make this list you’re crazy!) sings about singing along to some “America first rap-country song.” (Spoiler alert, she’s talking about how modern country isn’t actually country, and not Lil Nas X. “Old Town Road” rules and i know 100% that Phoebe & BJ & Darius Rucker would agree!). Anyway, back to the American Aquarium mythology. I saw them on a whim, drunk & newly single at the Marquis Theater (holy goddamn do I miss the Marquis and LIVE MUSIC!) back in late Summer 2015. I ordered a Tecate tall boy at the bar (the 24oz kind) and worked my way into a diehard crowd drinking & singing along. Wolves was brand new and BJ opened with “Man I’m Supposed To Be.” I hadn’t been to many small shows like that at that time (been to a couple hundred since!) and I loved how people sang & danced & drank & ACTUALLY SANG! When the Burn. Flicker. Die. songs hit, I was hooked. Over the last five years I’ve had a blast at every AA show and I’ve come to appreciate the value of live, original, independent, rock & roll! I appreciate how BJ encourages us to work hard, get lucky, and GET BETTER! When the time comes (maybe not till we’re all vaccinated and it’s 2022 or whatever) I can’t wait to hear these songs the way American Aquarium intended. I’m going to walk into a dark, sweaty rock&roll club, I’ll order a Mexican beer and a shot of American whiskey, crowd in with people, and I’m gonna sing along to "The Luckier You Get” so fucking loud.

“I was born in the shade of a longleaf pine / The proud southern son of Caroline / Proud of who I am & where I’m from / But I ain’t so proud of how far we’ve come... / Down here we’re still fighting for all the wrong reasons / Old men still defend these monuments to treason / To the right side of history, we’re always late / Still arguing the difference between heritage & hate / The only dream that ain’t worth having / Is the one you won’t chase down / They say sing your songs, boy & shut your mouth / But I believe in a better South...”

AMERICAN TRAPPIST / The Gate

There are two specific moments on The Gate that I especially love. If you’ve followed my yearly favorites list at all, you know that Joe Michelini (who fronts American Trappist & fronted River City Extension) is one of my favorite living songwriters. But after the relative lightheartedness of 2018′s Tentanda Via, 2016′s self-titled, & 2012′s Don’t Let The Sun Go Down On Your Anger (miss you River City!) The Gate is a goddamn dark, noisy masterpiece. The guitars are heavier, multiple songs contain 1-3 minute instrumental intros before the vocals enter, and frontman Michelini cuts loose with loud whoops (exclamations? yells? excited moments of pure joy/energy/anger release?!) that are captured perfectly just as the songs hit their respective peaks. The first moment is found on track three, as the laid-back guitar of the backwards-looking “Moses (Revisited)” starts to really pick up. At four-&-a-half minutes, another guitar enters and Michelini starts to quicken his pace. “Have you got something to say?” he asks more urgently, then as the guitars start to really wail “Ask me how I felt, living like I was. My future on the run...” Then he hollers and the guitar explodes into a monstrous solo. Most of the album is contained between that whoop and the next whoop not encountered till track 10. In between, “...Rides Again” recalls River City Extension’s under-appreciated farewell album Deliverance with it’s more uplifting, wandering guitar, and the title track uses a mix of whispery vocals, repetitive falsetto, and an ungodly low baritone to create a vampire-y “Unfresh Dirtwolf” vibe. “Active Recovery” rides a straight forward rock & roll riff and near-spoken-word delivery into a delightfully fuzzy guitar solo. Finally we’ve reached my personal favorite, get on the big train and take a ride with “The Real Thing.” If you’ve paid attention at all, this is a classic American Trappist tune. A repeating, echoing riff, a steady drive, and then three minutes in, the song just jumps the tracks and grows wings. The kind of song that makes me want to be back at live shows. The kind of song that makes me want to be drinking cheap beer at Larimer Lounge, hugging the east wall, sweat & noise & rock & roll, “what if love was nothing like the real thing?...” and then Michelini bookends the “Moses...” whoop with another one, setting it free. The music so energized & electric that I whoop along without realizing it. I wrote a little more about my special connection with The Gate this year (besides for those whoop-alongs!) a Retrospective Anthology Mix I made for myself and The Mix I traded (along with a pair of brand new red shoelaces!) for an advanced copy of The Gate way back in April! Thanks American Trappist! As long as you keep making em, I’ll keep putting em my end of the year favorites list. The Gate is special.

“I’m decomposing, underreacting / I do the right thing but nothing happens / It is within me / It is within me to love somebody...”

BARTEES STRANGE / Live Forever

The songs on Bartees Strange’s debut album Live Forever carry an instant sense of Nostalgia & familiarity. Maybe it’s the mix of influences that I love (Bon Iver, Fall Out Boy, mid 2000′s emo, pop-rock, & hip-hop etc...!) maybe it’s the way Bartees manages to make those “old” influences sound new, fresh, exciting, and completely at home with his voice & production. Whatever the reason, every time I hit play on Live Forever (usually in the kitchen, beer-in-hand), it feels like an old friend. It feels like I’ve known these songs for the last five years, like they’ve always existed. The way his voice twists around & around, up & down in “Jealousy,” the way the Aaron Dessner-esque guitars & synths stab in on “Mustang” (a nod to Bartees’ hometown of Mustang, OK), and the way “Boomer” wastes absolutely no time with it’s “Aye bruh aye bruh aye bruh” intro. Pure, comforting, exciting magic.

Bartees Leon Cox Jr. came up in a band as Bartees & The Strange Fruit. A nod to Nina Simone, a National covers EP (!), and a supercharged debut full length later, here we are in 2020 with Bartees showing up on a ton of end of the year lists. Bartees hails from Washington DC (by way of Mustang, Oklahoma) originally from England, son of an opera singer, lover of music. I am so thankful this album exists in this time and I (and a ton of other music fans get to enjoy it!) Bartees had made his technical debut (a The National covers album!) as a black kids’ response to not seeing enough people of color in the audience at National shows. When it comes to blending his influences, he talks about hip-hop saying “I love how rappers rap about dreams – money & cars & pretty girls & big houses & buying their mom a yacht. Expansive, out of this world, unbelievable shit, & sometimes they get it. It's like this very big Christian principle of like speaking things into existence in a way. When I look at rock music, it's like, ‘I'm sad.’ I'm like, ‘Yo, let's bring a hip-hop ethos to it.’ Like, I want to write rock songs about, like, ‘I want to be the biggest artist in the world.’” Big dreams Bartees, big dreams. I love Live Forever and I can’t wait to see what’s next!

“To have a life you love but know you’re undeserving / Last night I got so fucked up, near lost my job / It’s nice to think that folks are near, waking up was hard this year...”

DUA LIPA / Future Nostalgia

It seems like every year when I start creating this list, there is one big radio album that I listened to and loved so much, that it’s impossible not to include. Last year it was Lizzo, 2018 had Janelle Monae, & 2017 Kendrick Lamar. This year that big, undeniable pop radio album is Dua Lipa’s Future Nostalgia. With nods to a wide swath of club genres, as well as pop, disco, & funk, 25 year old Dua Lipa sounds confident and full of swagger on her sophomore album. She’s already released a DJ mix alternate version of the entire album! It’s sometimes hard for me to describe why I love certain pop songs, but Future Nostalgia feels so easy. Smooth synths & keys, elastic, rubbery basslines, a mix of Nostalgic (and maybe futuristic?!) influences, and Dua’s energetic vocals driving everyone to the dance floor. She channels Prince & The Beegees, mixing 70′s disco & 80′s funk, everything danceable, fluid, & modern. My favorite lyrical moments on the album are when she lets her feminism show through, like on the opening title track “No matter what you do I’m gonna get it without you. I know you ain’t used to a female alpha” and on the dark, catchy closer “Boys Will Be Boys” that talks about rape culture, mansplaining, & slut-shaming. But my personal favorite memories of Future Nostalgia come from taking it along on a few camping trips in the Colorado mountains. Criss-crossing the Continental Divide with the windows down, sunlight streaming through, belting out “If you don’t wanna see me, dancing with somebody!” to high alpine lakes & pine trees.

“Did a full 180, crazy / Thinking ‘bout the way I was / Did the heartache change me? Maybe / But look at where I ended up / I’m all good already / So moved on it’s scary / I’m not where you left me at all, so...”

EZRA FURMAN / To Them We’ll Always Be Freaks

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Ezra Furman is one of the most important, lifelong favorite artists that I discovered in 2020, and even though To Them We’ll Always Be Freaks isn’t exactly a proper new album (cannot fucking wait for the next one Ezra!) it only felt right to include this collection of demos and behind the scenes material from 2016′s unbelievable Transangelic Exodus on my 2020 list. The basic story is this, Ezra Furman makes a lot of music/records, solo or with a lot of musicians. The Harpoons, The Visions, by herself. They recall a lot of things; punk, soul, doo-wop, plain old American Rock & Roll, being yourself, being whoever you want to be, being alone, all the things that matter. For Transangelic Exodus she wanted to do something different, to abandon her instincts. To “get weird.” To make “A record of maximal impact, maximal originality & excitement.” If you haven’t heard Transangelic Exodus, it is all of those things and more. I recommend you wait till a cold night in your kitchen, pour yourself a stiff drink, & listen to it front-to-back... LOUD. I missed it in 2016 (& for a few years after) but I was lucky enough to hear Ezra in time to catch her at the Bluebird last year and it was one of the best live performance I’ve ever seen. Also, Bandcamp exclusives are what fueled my Friday mornings through Covid times, giving money to artists & causes that I love. Ezra has done SO MUCH since 2016 (last year’s Twelve Nudes is a pysch-punk masterpiece!) and To Them We’ll Always Be Freaks (aka Making Ourselves Up in the Rearview Mirror) (aka “Wing That Shit”) borrows its name from the absolutely transcendental, broadway-esque “Suck the Blood from My Wound” which was the opening track on Transangelic Exodus. It is a collection of “demos, rehearsals, & shots in the dark” from an important record that means a lot to a lot of people. Rather than diving into the fun differences of all these demo versions, I wanted to quote myself from February, the feelings that I had immediately after seeing Ezra that night, totally present at the Bluebird...

I was able to be present for an hour and a half. To let go, to suspend, to kick against things and break down barriers that I have built myself in my own mind. It is so important to do that for ourselves and everyone has to work to find their own different methods of getting there. Some people never do, but it is still important for us to encourage & push them. A needling supportive jab of growth. For me, it has always been music. Most viscerally rock & roll (Ezra’s electric guitar playing stirs a power in my body & brain that I can’t put into words… like it could make me fly. Like Peregrine Falcon fucking fly. Or deadsprint all the way to San Francisco) but always all kinds of music. The power to broaden my horizons. To teach me things. To understand someone else. To see the world (politics, religion, sexuality, the true self, humankind) through new eyes. “Skin on my fingers peeling, making way for my new form.” To hear someone say who they are (who they really are) and to believe them. I want that for myself. To know who I really am. To feel beyond a shadow of a doubt, what I should do and who I should be. And to believe me. I am inspired by Ezra and hundreds of others, to push forward through doubt. To find myself even in the darkest shadows of doubt. To scream at doubt and befriend it. To wrap it up in the backseat of a red Camaro and keep driving. Last night I glimpsed something like Utopia. As Ezra says about her Jewish practice of Shabbat (google it!) “It’s like touching Utopia, weekly. It reminds us of what we want the world to be like” And it was like touching utopia. Like a breath of Spring breeze. Like change. Keep digging. All the way down. Till you’re standing upside down in an alternative world. It’s beautiful there, magic is possible. I know because… because well… Ezra told me.”

“For the immigrant / For the refugee / For the closeted / For the out / For the vulnerable / For the homeless / For the searching / This record is an exercise in empathy / A ripening of nightmares & a sudden blooming of spirit / It’s a protest record / Dreamed in dark corners of the heart of a queer grandchild of Holocaust survivors / & what if you had to leave your home because the government was after you? / May our vulnerability & difference be a window into the lives of those who are deeply threatened by institutional callousness & hatred / And may this spur us to great courage & kindness / ‘Do not oppress a foreigner: you know the feelings of the foreigner for you were foreigners in the land of Egypt’ Exodus 23:9...”

FIONA APPLE / Fetch The Bolt Cutters

If you love end of the year lists as much as I do, then you’ve probably read enough about Fetch The Bolt Cutters already. In fact, a few of the albums on this list (spoiler alert, Phoebe & Sault coming! Keep reading!) were so good, so immediate, that my entire social media feed was filled with seemingly nothing else for days stretching into weeks. Fiona Apple coming out of hiding to release her first album in eight (?!) years was one of those moments. Thinkpieces, interviews, and then the inevitable, deserved flood of end of the year lists. As someone who missed most of Fiona in the 90′s and 2000′s, Fetch The Bolt Cutters felt like a revelation. Like finding a brand new, fresh faced artist, fully formed, rebellious, and 100% herself. Turns out Fiona has been doing this shit since I was 10 years old! With an aggressive, current-world-situation-necessitated title lifted from Gillian Anderson’s detective in “The Fall” (she’s trying to save a locked up woman from a serial killer) Fetch The Bolt Cutters is as determined & relentless as it sounds. Pianos twinkle & spiral, drums pound & knock, Dogs bark (one of them is her pit-bull-boxer mix Mercy), pots & pans bang, bells ring, and Fiona herself uses her voice as one of the most versatile instruments, shrieking & whispering, hissing & howling, defiant & absolutely riveting. In fact, almost everything about the music that Fiona Apple makes is head turning and Fetch The Bolt Cutters reminds me of so many things that made me fall in love with music in the first place. It feels free & it makes me feel free. She defied her record label who wanted her to follow a normal album rollout for an October release, and released it in April instead because she felt like it was needed at the time. She recorded most of the album at her house, on garageband and her iPhone. The songs are angry, defeated, cathartic, triumphant, & sometimes laugh-out-loud funny. Her writing is honest & heartfelt, working through trauma for herself from as far back as middle school. Fiona refers to her brain-stuff-writing as balls of yarn saying...

“You’ve got these stories you’re not telling anybody. Each one of those stories is like this little ball of yarn. If you don’t express them, they end up getting tangled together inside. Then it’s really hard to sort through them. I got some balls of yarn out in this album and wove them into something I can actually work with...”

Through it all, Apple’s vocals, lyrics, & rhythms are so fresh, so innovative, so exciting, that I feel like I’ve discovered a brand new artist. Thanks Fiona for unraveling that yarn for the last 25 years!

“Hurricane Gloria in excelsis deo / That’s my bird in my tree / My dog & my man & my music is my holy trinity / Tony told me he’d describe me as ‘pissed off, funny, & warm’ / Sebastian said I’m ‘a good man in a storm’ / Back then I didn’t know what potential meant / & Shemeika wasn’t gentle & she wasn’t my friend / But she got through to me & I’ll never see her again / I’m pissed off, funny, & warm / I’m a good man in a storm / & when the fall is torrential I’ll recall / Shameika said I had potential...”

JOY OLADOKUN / in defense of my own happiness (vol. 1)

Joy Oladokun grew up going to church religiously in small town Arizona. Inspired to play guitar by seeing Tracy Chapman on VHS, she wrote her first song about Aragorn from “Lord of The Rings”. There are parts of Joy’s music, truths in the deep, deep melodies & lyrics that I will never understand. She is a Queer, Black woman born to Nigerian parents, dealing with (and singing about) life challenges that I will never know. But then, there is also a magic & familiarity that I feel in Joy’s songs, because we have connections that only we can have. Connections that come from thinking about the same things from our formative years. The way she writes about growing up in the church, the way she challenges the church, the way she pushes her family & friends still in the church to be better. Musically, in defense of my own happiness (vol. 1) (all lowercase please!) sounds like Joy’s own map of America. Folky, woodsy Arizona, some LA soul & production, and big Nashville choruses, like contemporary radio. But the writing found in these songs is different & essential. Effortlessly cool lead single “Smoke” opens the album with the line “yesterday I left my joint sitting on the counter...” Oh yeah, she loves to get high! (sorry church, I’m 100% sure Jesus doesn’t care about marijuana!) Riding an undeniably catchy chorus, and drums & keys that carry the song down a blacktop road, this one got a TON of play this Summer when we in Colorado were trapped in wildfire smoke and I made my littlest sister this Smoke & Fire Mix. After “Smoke” she tackles identity & religion on the Mat Kearney-esque (look him up!) Nashville folk-pop of “Sunday” & “Bad Blood” saying,

"The biggest privilege of being a songwriter is being able to write the type of song that I needed to hear when I was younger, 'Sunday' is the song that 12-year-old Joy, seated in the back of church youth group, needed to hear. She needed to hear that you can be queer & happy. Queer & healthy. Queer & holy. She needed to see married women kissing & playing with their kids."

It’s inspiring that Joy chooses to use the word privilege in that quote instead of responsibility. The privilege of being a songwriter is the impact you can have on others. Joy has been outspoken about social justice, both inside & outside the church, and has continued to release singles challenging the racism running rampant in America. Her heartbreaking “Who Do I Turn To?” deals with the fear that comes with simply being black in America. “Mercy” features a verse from rapper Tim Gent and touches on the current pandemic (and the off-the-deep-end religious turn Kanye has taken). Finally the album closes with the gorgeous, finger-picked, I-wanna-do-better ballad “Too High” (oh yeah, when she gets high she gets... too high!) and “Younger Days.” A peaceful, soul-inflected closer, with Joy’s vocals swelling & wandering through her life & memories to the conclusion “Who I was would be proud to see the person I became...”

“Sometimes I get jealous of jesus for falling asleep in the middle of the storm / Sometimes you gotta feel like drowning to be reborn / Oh I haven’t slept in three days / I know I’ve gotta find my way / Through all of this smoke...”

THE KILLERS / Imploding The Mirage

I knew Imploding The Mirage would be on my 2020 Favorites list months before it was actually released. It reminded of when Josh Ritter released some super important singles during the Summer/Fall 2015 (a very transformational time for me). Similarly the singles from Imploding The Mirage (The Killers sixth studio album!) came right on time earlier this Spring & Summer. Mirage’s first single was the classic Killers get-out-of-town anthem “Caution” and it arrived on March 12, early on in the pandemic and under stay-at-home orders. “Caution” introduced me to “the featherweight queen” and found me many nights dancing in the kitchen, the volume turned up on Lindsay Buckingham’s wailing outro guitar solo. “Caution” was my number one most streamed song on Spotify in 2020. After that came “Fire In Bone.” A groovier track, released in April with gorgeous peacock single art (the only art from the album that isn’t painted by the wonderful Thomas Blackshear) and fallen for in June, dancing with my brothers & sisters at the lake, one of the first times we had hung out during quarantine. One of my goals with this year’s list is to remember the exact moments when I fell in love with a song or album, and that moment for Imploding The Mirage was playing “Fire In Bone,” right here...

Shortly after that, opening track “My Own Soul’s Warning” had me dancing in the shower and the lovesick, ultimate Flowers jam “Dying Breed” had me rolling down my windows and belting along till August when Imploding The Mirage finally got it’s official release. I have non-guilty-pleasure-loved The Killers since Hot Fuss (and accidentally downloaded a virus on my best friends desktop computer trying to download a "Mr Brightside” acoustic version off of some weird site on dial-up internet in Silt, Colorado in the mid-2000s!) and it’s exciting to know that Flowers & Co. can still do something that sounds phenomenal (thanks Shawn Everett!) in 2020. Oh and... word on the street is that they got a follow up coming in early 2021 so yeah... The Killers killin’ it.

“Cause it’s some kind of sin / To live your whole life / On a might’ve been / I’m ready now / I’m throwing caution / What’s it gonna be? / Tonight the winds of change are blowing wild & free...”

MIPSO / Mipso

After years of encouragement, and with gentle but insistent nudges from my partner’s father; Chapel Hill, North Carolina’s Mipso finally made it on my end of the year Favorites list with their sixth full length album! I had seen them way back in 2016 at the Lost Lake Lounge here in Denver (probably on his recommendation), they were touring on their first few albums, still more bluegrass-y, but I loved them and I loved their “Diamonds on the Soles of Her Shoes” cover. Since then, Lila’s dad would send us their music, send us stickers through the good ol’ USPS, and Mipso kept honing their craft. Smoothing out their folk, adding pop influences, with sharp songwriting, and warm, Appalachian instrumentation. And, as Lila’s dad says, if you close your eyes, it might as well be Paul Simon singing.

The four members of Mipso share songwriting and frontperson duties equally and each member brings their own depth & humor to the band. Guitarist Joseph Terrell’s (he’s the Paul Simon sound-alike) songs are brighter & folkier. “Never Knew You Were Gone” is a gorgeously, wistful, violin-led, apocalyptic opener. “Hey Coyote” reminds me of Christopher Porterfield & Field Report from Wisconsin, with it’s gentle plucking and mystical lyrics about Wile E. Coyote & Coyotl, the Native American mythology version of the trickster. “Help” is maybe the biggest & darkest folk tune on the album, a minor tinged, string-y burner, that dives into a huge chorus. Mandolinist Jacob Sharp leads the rhythmic & driving “Hourglass” and the late-night rain of “Just Want To Be Loved.” Double Bassist Wood Robinson gets in on the fun with the comforting, wandering of “Shelter.” But it is violinist Libby Rodenbough’s contributions to the album that make it truly great. Her impassioned vocals & lyrics command “Your Body” over an insistent banjo. She visits the darkness on the enchanting, cheater’s tale “Like You Never” and revisits the apocalypse mentioned in track one, on her rollicking closer “Wallpaper Baby.” Finally, it is her tender folk that ties the whole story together on “Big Star.” She sings of the end of time; of swimming & Summer & Colorado. A true classic, a lost Gregory Alan Isakov telescope, mountain stream tune. In the zine accompanying Mipso’s release, they introduce the album this way...

“Future Readers,

Times are tough. You probably know this... Shit has lately been hitting the fan in a big way. Maybe chickens coming home to roost is a better metaphor, since we’re talking about history. Maybe a bunch of chickens have roosted on a giant fan, and they’re finally shitting... We recorded the album back in the latter half of 2019. when all We The People had to worry about was rampant income inequality, a sham democracy, & rising oceans. Ah, the good old days. At least now people can’t pretend it isn’t there. Beats the nineties! A Japanese theme park recently released a set of guidelines aimed at reducing the spread of airborne droplets of the virus on rollercoasters. ‘Please scream inside your heart’ they said. We hope you enjoy our album.”

Thanks Mipso, this one is special. And thanks Lee Cummings! From Chapel Hill to Ashville, Carrboro to Greensboro, this is an album I’ll hold onto for awhile.

“We went down to the water / With a blanket in the back / Had some candy from Colorado / Let the sunlight lay us flat / I awoke from the strangest vision / You & me at the end of time / Would you believe that big star was missing / But I found in your eye... / We went down to the water / When the red was in the clouds / Cracked the windows like kid summer / Like we were breaking out / We went down to the water / Never mind the rising tide / After all we are the daughters / Of unbelievers running wild...”

PHOEBE BRIDGERS / Punisher

The Phoebe Bridgers mythology grows with every tweet, every guest feature, every new project, every new skeleton suit, and every Grammy nomination. It’s almost hard to believe Punisher is only her second solo full length, but if you’re following the fake_nudes mythology you know that she’s been busy in the years between Stranger in the Alps (her impressive debut) and Punisher. She formed supergroups with Lucy Dacus & Julien Baker (boygenius) and Conor Oberst (find Better Oblivion Community Center on my 2019 Favorites list). If you’ve talked to me about music this year at all, you know that Punisher has been a favorite talking point, as much for its typically dark Phoebe masterpieces about mental health, alien abduction, & depression, as for how it has overtaken the entire indie world. Phoebe fucking Bridgers has achieved legend status. The day I fell in love with Punisher was September 1st, when I hiked up across from Red Rocks Amphitheater to stream Phoebe playing THIS show and gaze longingly at the Rocks, wishing I could be inside. Watching a full moon (song) come up in the West, Phoebe playing to my East, drinking beer & reading lyrics, It was cathartic & special but goddamn did I miss live music in 2020.

Ok... on to the songs. Punisher begins innocently enou... umm... it actually begins with a TERRIFYING minute of soft, unsettling sound, a “DVD Menu” track playing after the horror movie has ended, that moment when you’re both sitting there, stunned & pale, too scared to get up and go turn the light on, googling “______ movie ending explained,” and considering death, dismemberment, and I don’t know, alien abduction. I burned myself my own Punisher CD with “DVD Menu” as both the opening & closing tracks because... (spoiler alert) I Know The End. Getting up to turn the light on doesn’t help much, as “Garden Song” is a haunting, ear-worming, whisper of a song that tells a decidedly LA (most of these songs reference SoCal in some way and I love it!) tale about the Rose Parade, killing nazis, growing a garden, and ends with a happy plot twist. Surprise, Phoebe’s got everything she wanted! “Kyoto” was the big single (the “Motion Sickness” as it were), a green screen miracle, a monster uplift of a chorus complete with horns, finds Phoebe singing about boredom & international travel. I personally love the back-to-back of “Chinese Satellite” & “Moon Song” and I feel like they capture Phoebe’s ability to combine the mundane & the heartbreaking & the wryly funny all in the same couplet. She has a lot of great jokes hidden on Punisher (why aren’t more people talking about how funny she is?!) like when she ends “Kyoto” singing “Guess I lied. I’m a liar, who lies. Cause I’m a liar.” There’s a jogging joke in “Chinese Satellite” (a song about not believing in God) about running around “Why would somebody do this on purpose?” and in “I See You” she sneaks in “If you’re a work of art, I’m standing too close!” and if you know the joke in “I Know The End” then you know! That brings us to the emotional centerpiece of closer “I Know The End.” A true road song, written on an epic road trip Phoebe took through Northern California; all Wizard of Oz, Arcade-Fire-Mountains-Beyond-Mountains-Sprawl past outlet malls, all the way to the end of the world. I won’t spoil the ending if you haven’t heard it, but it’s a cathartic, deserving send off to 2020, and I’ve screamed out loud to it in my car more than anything else this year. Love you Phoebe, Love Punisher, absolutely can’t wait to see what’s next.

“Driving out into the sun / Let the ultraviolet cover me up / Went looking for a creation myth / Ended up with a pair of cracked lips / Windows down, scream along / To some America first rap-country song / A slaughterhouse, an outlet mall / Slot machines, fear of God / Windows down, heater on / Big bolt of lightning hanging low / Over the coast, everyone’s convinced / It’s a government drone or an alien spaceship / Either way, we’re not alone / I’ll find a new place to be from / A haunted house, with a picket fence / To float around & ghost my friends / I’m not afraid to disappear / The billboard said ‘The End Is Near’ / I turned around, there was nothing there / Yeah, I guess the end is here...”

ROACHE, MOONCHILD, KILEY / Improvised Sessions

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I have so much fun making this list every year. I start a draft in January, update and change things as the year goes on, and agonize over my final cuts until usually December (or sometimes January of the next year or later!) I enjoy writing about why I loved the albums I chose, and I enjoy reading everyone else’s end of the year lists and finding new favorites. I also love the randomness of it all, and I love love LOVE that albums like Roache, Moonchild, Kiley Improvised Sessions exist. This album was released exclusively for free (or name-your-price!) to bandcamp on Christmas Day, features almost no vocals, a wide swath of exciting instrumental music. Mostly electronic, guitars, keyboards, & drums; at times abrasive, at times relaxing, a true masterpiece. Long live Bandcamp! What can I tell you about Roache, Moonchild, Kiley? Honestly not much! I know of them from seeing Fiona Moonchild absolutely shred guitar for Scott Yoder on a tiny stage at the Lion’s Lair on Colfax in early 2019. She was theatric & phenomenal, equal parts Bowie & Heavy Temple, Mazzy Star & The umm... Beatles?! One the greatest live shows I’ve ever seen (small venue or otherwise) & then Yoder, Moonchild & crew packed up and headed back to the Pacific Northwest. Roache was a new find, singer, artist, instrumentalist (harmonica maybe? the credits are minimal!) and Conor Kiley is an unknown. The music is alluring. The first four tracks (”First” “Second” “Third” & “Fourth” obviously!) swing between bouncy, noisy, jazzy piano, and down tempo grooves. “Desert Underground” employs a mournful harmonica over plinking Western guitar and “Fire” brings fuzzed out, grungy guitar and finally some growling vocals from Roache. The last two tracks put everything to bed instrumentally and the album fades out into bandcamp obscurity. The credits provide only a few hints to the recording saying...

“A cathartic release, recorded on tape in the Summer of 2020. This album was recorded on occupied Duwamish land.”

SAMANTHA CRAIN / A Small Death

Samantha Crain is a Choctaw songwriter from Shawnee, Oklahoma. She is six days younger than this writer (34!) and has been putting out strong, sturdy-but-tender folk albums since 2007. On her sixth full length, 2020′s A Small Death, Crain writes about the mundane and the essential in a way that brings her stories and her truth to electrifying life. Blooming from front to back with energy, depth, emotion, & powerful instrumentation, A Small Death is one of my most favorite albums of this year. When Crain announced A Small Death, she referenced the title as the idea that “everything is always starting over again, all the time.” She talked about her own experience with starting over after multiple car accidents had left her immobilized, unable to use her hands, unsure if this album (or any album) would ever be made by her again. You can hear in these songs her frustration and her defeatedness, but also her celebration, her determination. From the desperate swell of gorgeous first single and opener “An Echo” to the ebullient push of “Pastime,” and the resigned melancholy of “Tough For You.” Crain’s instrumentation holds up to the songwriting, and her band uses flourishes of trumpet, clarinet, accordion, saxophone, and pedal steel (both the mournful-country kind in the late-night-heartache of “High Horse” and the honky-tonk country kind in the blistering, defiant closer “Little Bits”). Crain touches on her Choctaw heritage proudly, both in “Holding to the Edge of Night” when she sings “I am a legend of this land here; I am a keeper of this life.” and most notably in the penultimate track “When We Remain” sung in Choctaw, a tradition Crain carries over from her 2017 album You Had Me At Goodbye. Crain’s songwriting is wonderfully intimate, A Small Death is full of deeply personal memories, old friends, roommate challenges, love, & ephemera (a bar tab, a parking ticket, photo booth strips, stubs from movies & baseball games, an 8-ball, a $20 dollar bill!)

My favorite tracks are the louder ones, “Reunion” is a bouncy, soulful swing about seeing high school friends and “watching exes eye the spouses, but I came alone, I think it’s glamourous.” Haha! “Garden Dove” rides a straight up NIrvana/grunge riff into a bellowing love song. I’ll close by sharing my two favorite personal memories with A Small Death. In July, I had streamed the record but probably hadn’t really heard it you know? (there was a lot going on this Summer) and Chris Porterfield from Field Report (his new one Brake Light Red Tide is beautiful, though not on this list!) posted about “Holding to the Edge of Night” after midnight saying... “I dare you to go outside and listen to this song right now. This new Samantha Crain record is everything.” Naturally I took the dare, walked out under the moon, and laid down on the sidewalk to actually listen to “Holding to the Edge of Night” I felt, as Crain so deeply & eloquently puts it that “evening was my prize.” A truly great, classic song that I will listen to on night walks for the rest of my life. Lastly, in August, for my birthday, my partner asked me to pick a record to listen to, and she made fancy drinks to-go in Denver’s Cheeseman Park. Watching the sunset from the hill under the columns at Cheesman and thinking about how Crain talks about memory in “Joey” when she sings...

“Sometimes I feel like my memories never happened. Could you remind me, take me back for a night? Was it ever real? I don’t feel like that girl anymore. Was it heavenly? I don’t even see through those eyes anymore. A hundred small deaths, a hundred before. I am a revolving door. I am a revolving door...”

“What’s that silence inside me that expands into the dark? / With the traffic lights all changing for no one anymore / The karaoke laughter tumbling out the door / My eyes well with contemplation of the pleasures I endure / Holding to the edge of night...”

SAULT / Untitled (Black Is)

Where to start with Sault?! They put out two albums this year?! They put out two albums last year?! Nobody knows exactly who is in the band?! Sault is what I love about music, what I love about new music! I wrote an alternative version of this list where I referenced everyone who has released two albums this year (?!) because honestly I like Sault’s second of the year album Untitled (Rise) a whole lot too! I mean Bartees had his album of National covers, Phoebe has her orchestral Punisher companion EP, Shamir has two very different exciting records!, not to mention Hiss Golden Messenger’s two full live albums and uh... Folklore & Evermore. But anyway, what can I tell you about Sault that you haven’t read on however many end of the year lists already?! A collective of young artists, internet sleuthing has led me to believe possible members include London soul singer Cleo Sol, American rapper Kid Sister, & producer Inflo. A wonderfully rich blending of genres: R&B, house, disco, post-punk, boogie, dub, gospel, reggae, funk, soul, spoken-word, & protest chants.

Released into a world in turmoil, with Black Lives Matter protests erupting outside my door, Untitled (Black Is) is an album very specifically not made for me. Released into a world that I’m a part of. Protesting injustices in a system that I work within. Music with a purpose. Music so rich & wonderful, with a message we cannot continue to ignore. The only response I could have to Sault’s albums is to do better. To work harder. To take to the streets. To call out systemic racism so embedded in our culture, in my workplace, in my friend groups, in my family. When they released the album on June 12, it was posted with these words...

“We present our first ‘Untitled’ album to mark a moment in time where we as Black People, & of Black Origin are fighting for our lives. RIP George Floyd & all those who have suffered from police brutality & systemic racism. Change is happening... We are focused. Sault x”

I feel grateful & lucky to listen to & learn from Sault.

“Thief in the night / Tell the truth / White lives / Spreading lies / You should be ashamed / The bloodshed on your hands / Another man / Take off your badge / We all know it was murder...”

SHAMIR / Shamir

Shamir Bailey waited until album number seven (and his second album of 2020!) to release a self-titled album. Shamir is worth the wait. A glimmering, mesmerizing rock&roll masterpiece, full of experienced songwriting, noisy electric guitars, and shiny pop grooves; these are some of my favorite songs of the year. Las Vegas by way of Philadelphia, Shamir has built a DIY career in the indie scene by releasing seven albums in five years. He has honed his songwriting & sound, pushing himself far from his (admittedly popular & wonderful) dance debut Ratchet in 2015. One of the things I noticed about my list this year (and about my music tastes in general) is my ever growing affinity for strong vocal performances. From Angelica Garcia to Anjimile, Fiona Apple & Joy Oladokun, a bunch of the albums I loved this year stand out for their vocals. Shamir’s strong & versatile voice guides every song on the album and makes for fascinating listening. Lead single and track one “On My Own” came into my life at some mask-wearing, socially distanced outdoor hang this June, and quickly made it on to just about every Summer playlist after. It’s huge & memorable, with stabs of crunchy Pixies electric guitar and proud, loner-anthem lyrics. "Other Side” is the one that should have got massive radio airplay, all rolling drums, country western tinged (is that not a banjo I hear Shamir?) with shimmering Orville-Peck-bedazzled-suit-&-a-retro-microphone production leading a mega singalong chorus! Finally, between interspersed clips of talking that Shamir describes as “Field recordings of me with my friends-just being ridiculous” personal favorite “Diet” rides a choppy, 90′s alt-rock guitar to a blistering chorus that compares vampires sucking blood to getting to know someone! Ha! I can’t wait for Shamir to bring some of these songs through Denver on tour! It’s not too late to hop on the Shamir bandwagon!

“Couldn't take it anymore / Where do I begin? / I'll get around to it after a glass of gin / I prefer to be alone, but you can join if you like / I'll stay strong for you 'cause I don't want to be seen when I cry / Done giving up my light / Just to stay in the dark...”

SOTOMAYOR / Origenes

Sotomayor is a brother/sister duo from Mexico City who blend traditional Latin & Central American cumbia with other world rhythms & styles (electro, afrobeat, dancehall, merengue, peruvian chica!) on their truly magical third full length Origenes. One of my favorite concert series of the last few Summers has been Levitt Pavilion’s free outdoor concerts in Ruby Hill Park here in Denver. They introduced me to Sotomayor back in 2018. Picture enormous rolling grassy hills, kids laughing & playing & singing, tall cans, picnic dinners, & DANCING! Siblings Raul & Paulina Sotomayor worked with 28-time Latin Grammy winner Eduardo Cabra (Calle 13) recording between Mexico and Puerto Rico to release Origenes (translates to “origins”) on New York based independent label Wonderwheel. They have expanded their palette, making dance music to get bodies moving at clubs & dancehalls across the world, and the percussion throughout Origines is relentless, hypnotic, and downright sweaty fun! Paulina’s voice glides effortless over top of it all, sometimes strong & commanding, sometimes slipping sweet & sultry between synths or stabs of latin guitar. As a dance duo with Raul on beats and Paulina on vocals (they perform with a live band) the Sylvan Esso comparisons are unavoidable. I love you Nick & Amelia and I love Free Love, but Sotomayor has got me dancing in the kitchen cooking Hello Fresh more than a few times this year! Origenes is not to be missed!

“No sé por qué, pero me ha pasado / Que nunca lo he olvidado / Que aquellos ratos que rompen los platos / Aquellas historias que guardan las olas / Pequeñas esporas, momentos a solas / Se desempolvan viejas memorias / Nunca es tarde para recordar / Lo que nos une...”

““I don't know why, but it has happened to me / That I have never forgotten / That those moments that break dishes / Those stories that the waves keep / Little spores, moments alone / Old memories are dusted / It is never too late to remember / What unites us...”

SPILLAGE VILLAGE / Spilligion

The story of Spillage Village recording Spilligion (the Atlanta supergroup’s fourth full length album) is the stuff that will always make me remember the state of music in 2020. Spillage Village is an Atlanta collective comprised of the EARTHGANG duo (you may remember them from my 2019 Favorites list!) and a bunch of other collaborators (more on them later). Rapper & singer J.I.D. had rented a house in West Atlanta to work on his own third solo album, but when the pandemic hit, he invited the other members of Spillage Village to shelter-in-place and they all hit record. The result is a journal-entry-like album of the 2020 Covid pandemic, songs both uplifting & depressing, a group of musicians analyzing & expressing their feelings the best way they know how, through music. During their recording quarantine, they bonded over yoga, smoking weed, board games (monopoly & trouble), campfire s’mores, and talking current events & politics. Through it all, the music they were making was hopeful, forward looking, and religious. EARTHGANG’s Doctor Dot & Johnny Venus drive the rapping with J.I.D., but Mereba is their not-so-secret weapon. Her singing & rapping on the Sunday afternoon soul of “PsalmSing” and Coldplay-off-key piano of “Hapi” is inspiring & memorable. Brothers Benji & Cristo add production & basslines, Chance The Rapper makes a guest appearance, and closer “Jupiter” sounds like a darker, woodsier Avicii & Aloe Blacc track, backed by campfire acoustic guitars & banjos. Personal favorite, the apocalyptic “End of Daze” rides strong verses from almost everyone, references Pascal Siakim, Ronald Reagan, Nipsey Hussle, Sun Tzu, Damn Daniel, MF Doom (RIP), Future, Jesus, & Satan! Spilligion is the result of friends & collaborators, taking on 2020, stuck inside, making music & memories, marking a year unlike anything any of us have seen so far. When I look back, Spillage Village will be one of the bands that helped me mark my weird time & space this year.

“When I make it to the heavens, what's the code? Do I call a phone? / Security at the gate, no plus one, come all alone? / All along the race of life, I took a jog alone / Along the coast, I'm tryna cope, I raise a toast / & we consulted with the Most High / She told me watch my back, front, both sides / Hit a few baddies you never smashed 'fore y'all both die / Let the smoke rise, take the bodies to the crypts / & when the poor people run out of food, they can eat the rich...”

TAYLOR SWIFT / Evermore

One of the main themes I found while making my 2020 Favorites list is comfort. This year, I turned to familiar music for comfort, and I have been a Taylor Swift fan since 2010. I love Evermore (I also loved Folklore) and I love how it makes me feel young and makes me think of memories from my 20′s. Growing up listening to country radio, I got “Teardrops on My Guitar” & “Tim McGraw” as I headed off to college. Then, I jumped then fell for Fearless while laying hardwood floors in Aspen, Colorado in the Fall of 2010. My best friend (Hey Stephen!) introduced me to Taylor as a gifted songwriter who has grown & matured over the years, but still every bit as intelligent and full of wonder & fairytale feelings on Evermore. That was right before Speak Now came out and I was in the midst of a break up from a High School & College first love. Speak Now feels like a lifetime ago, as does Red, but those albums saw Taylor changing her sound, honing her songwriting, and building her arena-worthy legacy catalog. Then there was some long, late night road trip drives with nothing but 1989, and discussing the merits of pop vs. country. I fell out of touch for a bit with Reputation & Lover, but again, Taylor was building her legacy. When she finally reemerged with a political stance, and an inclusive, progressive vision, I was back in! Turns out just in time, because 2020 brought the huge surprise of Taylor collaborating with some of my favorite musicians (specifically Aaron Dessner of The National) on not one, but two new Taylor masterpieces.

OK, that’s a lot of backstory, let’s talk about some of the high points on Evermore. New personal favorite “’tis the damn season” tells a familiar back-home-for-christmas story just in time for the holidays over Dessner’s brooding guitar and (surprise!) Josh Kaufman on lap steel (Hi Josh!) (see Josh Ritter & Bonny Light Horseman!) “happiness” is a gorgeous piano ballad (finished only a week before Evermore’s release!) with the life-long-lesson of finding the good in a heart-wrenching break-up. The second half of Evermore is stellar & deep with The National getting involved even more. Frontman Matt Berninger (or as a friend called him “Bon Iver’s Deeper Daddy”) lends a certain methodic languidness to “Coney Island” and Bryan Devendorf adds those signature, pounding National drums to the unbelievable catchy-singable “Long Story Short.” Predictably, The White Man, Bon Iver shows up in his traditional spot at the end, with his vocoder machine the Messina popping up in “Closure” and lending trademark pain to closer “Evermore.” As we wind out of these fairytale woods, I am drawn back to Taylor’s words upon Evermore’s even-more-surprising-than-Folklore’s release. “It feels like we were standing on the edge of the folklorian woods and had a choice: to turn & go back or to travel further into the forest of this music... I have no idea what will come next. I have no idea about a lot of things these days and so I’ve clung to the one thing that keeps me connected to you all. That things always has & always will be music.” Thanks for the music Taylor, glad you traveled further into the forest. Evermore.

“Don’t treat me like some situation that needs to be handled / I’m fine with my spite & my tears & my beers & my candles...”

THE 1975 / Notes On A Conditional Form

The 1975 has always been a mood band for me. I’m tempted to say “vibe” band, but I guess that’s even more scene-y, hipster-y, or whatever. In the same way that I’ve defended Taylor Swift’s songwriting in the early 2010′s & Third Eye Blind’s deep cuts in the late 90′s/early 2000′s, I have proclaimed The 1975 as our greatest pop-rock band. I have said that they are one of the best sounding live bands I’ve ever seen. To this day, I can’t listen to “Me” (Matty Healy’s addiction-facing, heart breaking slow burner that closed their Music For Cars EP way back in September 2013) without tearing up. I think of driving through Idaho in the dark with my little brother, lights blurring out the Subaru windows, him moving to Portland in the Fall of 2015, me cut loose & drifting, trying to find a meaning for my next chapter. Skip forward a few years and the opening chords of “A Change Of Heart” transport me immediately to a bridge in Portland. It’s raining again and the city lights are blurred out the same Subaru windows. I will always associate The 1975 (I’ve taken to calling them simply “The 75!”) with my little brother (they’re his all-time favorite band) and the power of shared music experience. I have so many memories tied with their music, late night drives, dance parties, coffee conversations, and when I make these favorite lists, those are the things I want to mark.

I could say a lot about Notes On A Conditional Form. It’s The 75′s fourth full-length album and it’s hella rambling. They threw everything on this one. The sequencing might be off, it goes from an emotional, Greta Thunberg-narrated opener about Climate Change, to the ferocious, post-punk of “People” to a sweeping instrumental track, to a down tempo dance-y favorite “Frail State of Mind” to another instrumental, to another low-key favorite “The Birthday Party” to another dance-y catchy fav “Yeah I Know.” Now we’re seven songs in, no “Sex” or “Chocolate” apparent singles and we’re not even A THIRD of the way through the record! I love the messiness and massive-ness of Notes, I love the Phoebe Bridgers feature (can you believe she was going to OPEN for them at Red Rocks?!), and I love the unedited-ness of it all. There are points in the last third of the album; that drop three minutes into “Having No Head,” those Grimes-y beats & vocals on “What Should I Say,” or the heavily effected vocal Matty sings with his Dad on the penultimate, Burt Bacharach-y “Don’t Worry,” There is so much to dig into here, drums both real & electronic, rock, pop, world music, jazz, dance, and through it all, Matty Healy (tongue firmly planted in cheek) cheekily poking fun at celebrity & fame. For all of the not-so-great memories I have from COVID, all of the quarantine, stay-at-home, shelter-in-place times; I have many fond memories of dancing in the kitchen, drinking fancy cocktails, cooking Hello Fresh, and absolutely blasting Notes On A Conditional Form. In fact, I listed to this one on the google home speaker so much, that it showed up on Lila’s end of the year top 5 albums! This one’s for you Will, first time The 75′s made it on my end of the year favorites list! I can’t listen to them without thinking of you and I love it. Long live music and the connections it builds. See y’all next year!

“People like people / They want alive people / Young surprise people / Stop fucking with the kids...”

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jenna-jayde-the-renagade · 4 years

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Im so proud! I moved, and its a big upgrade from my apartment! Im renting a beautiful room in a big cozy, beautiful home!! My room mates are two wonderful women, and 7 kitties who are so therapeutic! Ive got a real bed finally, a queen size bed, with five pillows, and my heated blanket!! I also want to add that i got inspired to go back to school! I am going to be a social worker one day, and help at risk youth in the same trouble i used to be in!

Im about to bloom again, big time this time!! Jenna jayde is about to go on an even bigger renegade!!

I am strong! I am powerful! And i can sure as shit do it!

Heres to the next step of my recovery, and to the rest of my life.

Heres to never letting a single barrier get in my way! I am going to do this and thrive, and when i do i will be a shining example of what a trans woman can do in a society that gives her rights! My mental illness will be my gift, and i will use it to perceive the world differently in order to help people understand concepts that are hard to get!

Im gonna bloom! This bloom will be bigger than the last and i know it for a fact!!

#thisiswhattranslookslike #transgirls #weed girls #transgender #mtf #transbians #hrt #girlslikeus #single wlw

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svft2jae · 5 years

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for the one who brought love to me at my 16. for the so strong, best boy i’ll ever know, who taught me so much, and showed me a world so bright.

“loving boy, all the time you keep running through my mind, and you never seem to let go you took over, slow, before i could ever know everytime because of you i keep being like, such a stupid hopeless romantic, so dreamy and soaked in feelings, i surely do lingering in the remaining thoughts of the unforgettable, loving you of your sympathic pearly smile that glows in my heart‘s sky like its moon, soon between details as your little deepening above your thin lips, your eye bags and long lashes, messy hair style your adam apple, tall silhouette, husky voice that feels like oh so sweet lullaby; features and colors, that insist on filling me up, more and more drown — just now here writing about you my heart is already throbbing needily, between sighs and sad frowns.

you mean, just too much, i guess nor an ample, whole universe or a deep sea together inside the back of my pupils could handle. what should i do with it? they could say in books it may just be infatuation, somewhat a crush, a type of admiration, caring or affection. but all i know is that it keeps growing, bigger, deeper.

never felt too much, too intense things like i do now even though these years of my adolescence, still never something like this. how? how could it be? can't stop finding you just too beautiful for these unworthy eyes of mine to ever see. from your toes to the tip of your head you're too much beyond bright, enchanting, tender, like a waterfall of sweetness ahead, you're breathtaking. yet you can still be so simple, playful, bubbly and silly such a boyish smiley kiddo. really- you're just too loving. and you make me feel so light, so happy, and free, all the time so sudden. you resemble warmth, the most comfy things. you became my favorite saturday afternoons, my coffee mug. you're my bike rides, the bed pillow i hug you're my bag's small honeycomb, my sun and dawns, my heartbeats, my home, youth. you're just like youth. my first love. and probably the last. because there will be nobody so, you're the one, running through my mind since all this time, its only enthusiast. and although the fear, and all this mixtures of emotions within me so hard to settle down, to awknowledge gonna stay always caring about you, praying to the stars for you, dreaming and writing about you, missing you, wanting you always well and safe, happy and smiling,

always, loving boy, in love with you.”

trans. svftpeachy‘s message.: — happy birthday to the best thing that ever happened to me, to the most beautiful person in every kind of way, most captivating and genuine, to my sun, which radiates so much vividness, and makes my life happier every day. your happiness will always be mine. 💗 i love you nana, i love you with all the purest i have within me, and although it's so hard to express in words i just want you all the prosperity, peace, achievements, God's blessings, and all of the most immensely incredible anyone can have in this life, just as you already are to me. you are my pride, the best part of my youth’s movie. my treasure, the butterflies in my stomach, every single precious detail of you is a piece of the heaven that forms my heart filled of you. hearing your voice talking so softly, singing, performing, laughing goofily with the members, it's always like a dream — and as long as you’re well, comfortable, doing what you love the most, what you were born for, and being who you are freely in your completely lovely and so humble, so warm and so kind, i’ll always be in the best way possible, we all will be. ♡ always keep smiling my angel, with that dazzling, starry smile you have, may your day be memorably perfect as the joy of having you here and watching you evolving and blooming up like the wonderful boy you’ve been always proving to be. happy 19 y.o, my all. and more.

#HappyJaeminDay #jaemin #nct dream #na jaemin #nana #Sunflowerboy19th #nct #happybirthdayjaemin

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thready-to-go · 7 months

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i love a good pin in red!

find em' here

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sosthemortalcoil · 6 years

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Fluff Fueled by Spite

Alright so on the discord it was said that @thesearobberssun and I couldn’t write fluff. ( @thenickelportrust is a brilliant game--also just updated, so even more reason to go play it if you haven’t!--and I adore it to bits.)

We were given two prompts: Sleepy morning cuddles, and flowers. Limit of 5k words which I just squeaked by. We also let the discord pick characters. Since Rena did her angsty boy, it was decided I would do one as well (There are a lot of them though >.>) and therefore Mr. Oblivious aka Ramiel aka Walking Talking Trouble is featured. Written from his POV, per agreed.

Enjoy this pure fluff and lots of flower stuff!

The first light of morning enters the bedroom, painting gold bands of light across their sleeping face. Smiling down at them fondly, Ramiel strokes the top of their head gently, bending down to press a soft kiss to their forehead. He doesn’t want to leave their side, but he has plans.

A touch of corrupted Grace ensures that they’ll stay sleeping while he carries out his plans. Carefully he extracts himself from their embrace, pulling the sheets up around them and giving them another fleeting kiss on their cheek.

The first bazaar he enters smells of incense and metals, sweat and brimstone. It’s warm, but the only flowers he can find are dried and pressed. That’s not what he’s after.

The second one is even noisier, with the marketplace covered by a canopy of masterful tapestries that turn everything into a kaleidoscope of brilliant colors. At first he believes that this, too, is a bust, but right as he turns to leave he catches a glimpse in his peripheral vision of a riot of glowing flowers being hauled away on someone’s back.

Heedless of anyone else’s comfort, Ramiel dives through the crowd, twisting and weaving through the various sundry denizens as he struggles to keep the bobbing flowers in sight. The streets grow narrower and the noisy din starts to fade, but Ramiel still doggedly pursues his prey.

He’s sure he’s finally found the flower bearer, but when he rounds the last corner he saw them disappear down, he finds only shoppers swaddled in dark cloths and not a single glowing bloom in sight. Mumbling under his breath about the nuisances of trans-dimensional markets, he once more goes to give up with a diminutive figure tugs on his pants.

“You seek something for a love?” they ask, too many eyes to count blinking up at him from beneath their headscarf.

“I—I wanted to bring them flowers,” Ramiel admits, knowing better than to ask silly questions like how this creature could know why he was here. It was relatively safe to answer anyways; the markets had their own laws preventing any acts that would endanger customers.

The creature grins, the teeth appearing above the eyes, thousands of little needles. “This way then! Java knows best. He speaks the language of many flowers.” The little creature scampers away, Ramiel following the tower of their bright head-wrap to a plain wooden door, no windows in sight.

“Here, here!” As expected, Ramiel fishes out a gold coin and tips the small creature. They toss it into a fold of their head-wrap, bow, and vanish in a puff of smoke.

Ramiel pushes the unmarked shop door open, a chorus of bells jingling softly as he enters.

“One moment,” a low voice like that of tectonic plates shifting greets him. It takes Ramiel a few moments to adjust to the darkness of the shop. He’s disappointed when he sees a ton of buckets with not a single flowering bloom in sight.

“What brings you to Java’s?” The shadow behind the counter moves, a hulking creature of rough angles and jutting protrusions speaking to him.

“I was told I could find some flowers here,” Ramiel admits, rubbing the back of his neck. Another dead end. He might need to give up and find an earth florist. Gabriel isn’t going to stay asleep forever.

“You won’t find what you seek,” Java responds. Ramiel sighs.

“I thought as—”

“I was not done speaking,” Java interjects, a note of reprimand in his voice.

Ramiel shuts his mouth.

“You will not find what you seek here,” he continues to rumble, restarting from before Ramiel interrupted him. “But you will find what you need.”

Ramiel arches an eyebrow. “I’m pretty sure that’s what every merchant would prefer I believe,” he states with amusement. “And if you don’t have any flowers for me, then I’m afraid I must be going. I—”

Once more he’s cut across. “Old yet still so young and impatient. The lessons you learn best are the ones that come with a heavy price.”

Ramiel’s jaw clicks shut.

“You seek some pretty blossom to present to your soulmate.” When there’s a deliberate pause, Ramiel gives a cautious nod.

“But you are deaf to the language of the flowers, blind to the way they speak. I shall enlighten you.” Anywhere else, it would sound like a load of hyperbole and hogwash.

Here, Ramiel bows his head in deference. “I would appreciate that greatly, Java.” The huge figure comes around the counter, squeezing through a space that doesn’t look like it should hold him. Ramiel blinks, and decides not to think about it.

“Here.” Java jabs one blunt finger at a bucket. Ramiel raises a questioning eyebrow.

“Touch the flowers.” Wary, but curious, Ramiel reaches out and brushes his fingers over the stalks. A soft gasp escapes him as a riot of golden sparks fall onto his outstretched hand, a riot of color exploding into the dim interior of the shop.

The long petals fall across his fingers, bleeding from gold in the center to a fiery red-orange on the outside edges. The stamen reach for his fingers, dusted with more of the glowing golden embers, the entire flower casting soft flickering light like a torch.

“The Flames of Passion,” Java informs him. “All of these flowers bloom because of what you feel; they are not simply pretty items to be tossed hither and thither as part of an archaic courting ritual.”

“Hey, there’s nothing wrong with the classics,” Ramiel protests, leaning forward. His surprise is increased when the blossoms smell like Gabriel, their Grace scent rising to meet his nose.

“If I did not appreciate flowers and the sharing of them with others, we would not be here,” Java reprimands.

“The Flames of Passion usually bloom for new lovers, part of a new relationship, a new, consuming love where-in there is room for little else. This love has not had time to mature, raw and consuming.”

Ramiel lets out a nervous chuckle. “I’m not sure—” This time he stops himself, letting Java continue at his slow and controlled pace.

“For you, it is a revival. This love has been a long time coming, but each day you wake to be surprised by its existence. You want to share some of that wonder. Which is why the Flames of Passion are not the only blooms I will share with you. Please, touch them all.”

Feeling like a child, with a whole new world of possibilities spread out before them, Ramiel reaches out, dragging his fingers across rows and rows of stalks, occasionally hissing as he encounters thorns or fine hairs that prick against his skin.

Several types of flowers open partially, some give him a token shudder of growth, but in the end three more open fully, creating patches of soft blue, white iridescent rainbows, and another one that doesn’t cast a wide aura but instead fills the air with stars.

“Misty Waters, Eternal Love, and Traveler’s Guide.”

Java points to the dark blue flower, something that looked vaguely like an earth lily, if Earth lilies were the size of small children and had glowing blue orbs at the center of them, freckles of purple scattered across the giant petals. “Misty Waters. It’s not always been the easiest course. Sometimes you’ve lost sight of each other. Sometimes you’ve wandered without direction, unsure of where or how to proceed. But the waters calm, and while your eyes may say you’re lost, the heart knows better. As long as you have each other, you will only wander, never again lost.”

“Eternal Love might seem self-explanatory,” Java muses, tickling the riot of gossamer white petals that send out an intense white light with rainbows dancing on the edges, as if refracted through some crystal or prism. “But the colloquial use is one that detracts from the truth this flower speaks. They will only bloom for those who have found an eternal soulmate. All the youth seem so concerned about romantic love, but the truth is there are many soulmates for a single person. Platonic, familial—there are many kinds. However, not all soulmates remain so across the multitude of existences.”

Java pulls his hand away, and the light narrows, chasing his retreating fingers. “Rarely do they bloom, for they only do so if the bond is true, returned, and eternal. This is the kind of love that death cannot touch, that survives and goes on even after whoever it binds has passed from living memory. The last one I saw blossom was well over six centuries ago. Many come in, believing they have found true love, and often it is true love, but true love is not the same as eternal. This love will pass the test of time, past the end of one and beginning of another.”

Finally Java trudges over to the last flower. “Traveler’s Guide. I believe an Earth equivalent might be the North Star. In this case, for you, it means your partner is the course by which you plot your life. No matter how far you wander or how far you drift apart, you will always come back together. They are your home, your light in the darkness, keeping you safe and warm, guiding you back to them.”

Ramiel swallows. “These are—something else, aren’t they?” he asks in wonder, watching the array of lights.

“That they are.” Java moves, and the lights slowly peter out, the flowers folding back up into themselves. “I’ll have them delivered.”

“You do deliveries? The penthouse is warded.”

Java chuckles. “Do not concern yourselves. The wards keep out any who mean harm.”

Ramiel doesn’t bother asking anymore questions. All he’ll get in response is more cryptic non-answers. “Very well. What do I owe?”

“Nothing much. To bloom they require a depth of emotion many do not possess. They feed on emotion, basking in it like the plants on Earth do in the sun. It does not lessen your own emotions. Simply keep them in a place of honor and nurture them.”

“That seems too simple.” Ramiel tilts his head.

Java turns around, and suddenly his back erupts into a riot of colors, a rainbow of living lights. “Our existence is symbiotic. The flowers need a voice, and we need their light.”

He turns back around, and a smile spreads across his rough-hewn features, showing off a mouth of crystals. “Not unlike your feelings for…” Java inclines his head. “Gabriel.”

Ramiel sucks in a breath, a smile curving his lips. “They are my everything,” he agrees, rubbing his chin. “And I want to—I want to be there for them.”

Java nods. “You are now. Or will be, shortly. You should go, return to them.” Ramiel holds up his hands, chuckling.

“As you say. Merry meet and farewell again till the suns shall rise and the moon hold safe your slumber, the mother mountain’s embrace home as the meadow flowers share their secrets for your soul.”

Java lets loose a chorus of grating, rumbling noises Ramiel recognizes as laughter. “Merry meet, traveler. Journey safe to the arms of your love.”

Farewells exchanged, Ramiel steps out the door—and into another shop. He takes a breath, and blows it out, cheeks puffing as he looks around.

“You again.”

The voice is airy, and sounds bored.

“Me, again?”

Ethereal hands appear in front of him, crossing. Even without seeing more of a body, he gets the impression that they are less than pleased. “Most people only share one, uggg, how to say this in your simplistic understanding of language, hmm… heart? Heart-fruit. You share it with your love, and you will never be alone again.”

Ramiel’s eyes widen. “You! I remember you!”

One hand flaps at him while the other wanders off. “Yes, yes, the impressive multi-dimensional being whose shop you stumbled into because you just had to try showing off your language skills and instead insulted a whole troop of Rhivunians. I’m fairly sure your name is still considered a foul word in their native tongue.”

Ramiel shrugs, cocky grin in place as he leans back. “I’m memorable, what can I say?”

Something comes hurtling out of the interior of the shop, and he catches it by reflex. “Now leave, before you do something,” the voice orders.

“I don’t even know how I got here! For once, I am completely innocent.” The hand still in front of him points at him, the large forefinger tipped in a blunt claw approaching with such vehemence that he stumbles back a step.

“You? Innocent? I’ve never had to give someone two of those! I don’t want to know what your love life looks like, but take it and get out.”

Ramiel rocks his head from side-to-side, a chagrined smile affixed in place. “Well, to be fair, I think you used a different word last time and I might have shared it with my nestmates not realizing it’s only meant for lovers—”

“GET OUT!”

This time the finger jabs at him, and then at a barely visible exit. “Are you sure? I’d be happy to—”

The other hand reappears from around a corner and Ramiel takes that as a sign to make his getaway.

This time he exits into the main square of the marketplace. It’s easy enough to hop a few portals back to earth, though he doesn’t return home, not right away.

“Oh my goodness gracious is that my favorite fallen angel?!” The voice that greets him is quickly followed by a chorus of squeals. In a moment Ramiel is surrounded by a group of dryads, all of them fawning over the strange fruit he has cradled in his arms.

“Is that for us?” Veracaea rises up on her tiptoes, reaching for the strange looking fruit. Ramiel quickly holds it over his head. Only Betulacaea is tall enough to reach, and he’s observing calmly from the edges.

“All right, settle down!” Salix claps their hands, and with some mumbling, the dryads give Ramiel.

“What can we do you for? Need snares? Instant forest growth?” Salix has their hands on their hips, appraising him.

“Nothing quite so dramatic, but much more important,” Ramiel informs them, lowering the fruit so he can cradle it against his chest again. “I…need two flower crowns. For me and my lover.”

The squeals this time could pierce eardrums. Betulacaea is the one who restores order this time. “Finally settling down?”

“Finally returning home, to where I should have been,” Ramiel responds, his smile rueful.

Varacaea bustles him over to a chair. “Wait here. We need to confer.”

The dryads disappear into the back of the shop, leaving Ramiel alone up front. He hopes this is quick. If Gabriel wakes up before he returns, then the surprise will be ruined.

The minutes tick by painfully slow on the clock. He squirms in his seat, and glances down at the fruit in his arms. It hadn’t tasted great the first time, but apparently it was supposed to tie together the hearts and souls of whoever ate it. Strange, it hadn’t seemed to work the first time. Maybe that was because he hadn’t understood what he felt back then.

The thought of him and Michael being tied together permanently makes him snort. That would have been a disaster.

Salix pokes their head out. “Come here. We need you to listen and learn.” They smirk. “Not your specialties, but I have a feeling you are particularly invested this time.”

Ramiel grumbles, but gets to his feet and follows the cheeky dryad into the backroom. A pair of flower crowns rest on the table, a myriad of plants artfully woven together.

Salix picks up the first one. “Each features a centerpiece of an acorn,” they say, pointing to the little oak nut. “This symbolizes life and immortality. The base of ambrosia is reciprocated love. Arbutus sprinkled for you only do I love.” They point to yellow-green flowers and then the white waxy ones in turn.

“Varacaea wanted some camellias, but they’re just not well-suited for crowns.”

“But I won on the daisies,” Varacaea chimes in smugly, pointing to the delicate chain of the small white and yellow flowers. “Daisies for loyal love.”

“Technically innocence too, but we all know you don’t have any of that left,” Betulacaea interjects. “But add a dandelion or two for faithfulness and happiness, contrast with some blue forget-me-nots for true love, and it works out.”

“I wanted to add some grass to yours for submission,” Varacaea takes over the conversation again. “Never seen you so in love.”

Salix smacks her with the back of one of their long-fingered hands. “Instead some white heather to represent wishes coming true, as well as protection of your love and life.”

Varacaea waggles her wispy brows. “Especially the bedroom ones.”

“I am never letting you hang out with the Greek gods again,” Salix moans, pinching the bridge of their flat nose. “Anyways, bells of Ireland for luck—”

“Heaven knows you need it,” Varacaea interrupts, dancing out of Salix’s reach.

“Some myrtle for yet more love, and stock for an expression of your bond and that you will always find each beautiful.” Salix finishes, turning to Betu.

The tallest of the dryads takes a breath and finishes the spiel. “Lastly, stephanotis for happiness in your relationship. Technically most understand it as happiness in marriage, but we take it as happiness in your bond, may it be eternal, for unlike mortals, death is not a given and marriage is not a state endemic to your kind.”

Ramiel nods his head.

“You’re not going to remember half of that, are you?” Salix asks, sympathetically.

“Nope,” Ramiel affirms.

They pass him a list and the two crowns. “Don’t get caught reading from the list. It’s not very romantic.”

“Hey, I can do romance!” Ramiel protests.

“No doubt about that, you flirt.” Varacaea pushes him out of the back and towards the front. “Now go and be a romantic sap elsewhere and leave us to our business.”

They all wave him off as he juggles the crowns and the fruit. Glancing about, he slips into an alleyway, moving between planes to arrive in front of the high-rise he now calls home.

He carefully opens the door, tiptoeing in and relieved when he doesn’t find Gabriel awake and waiting for him. What he does find, however, is a fair amount of the flowers from Java’s shop, still closed up, resting on the counter.

Now that he has everything, the real work begins.

The first problem he discovers is that the second he makes contact with the flowers, they bloom, and none of them are the paltry size of the flowers found on Earth. So he wraps a pair of kitchen towels around his hands and carries them to the bedroom like that. The second problem is that he can’t arrange them until he touches them because he has no idea what they are closed up.

The towels come off, and he only gets hit in the face by one of the large Eternal Love. To check the ambiance, he artificially thickens the blinds until the only light comes from the flowers. Closest to the bed is a low blue glows and a scattering of stars projected above the bed. Then comes the rainbows within the white light, and finally a core of flickering orange-red at the foot of the bed.

Not bad, if he says so himself.

The next stage is breakfast. A single plate, the fruit centered on it with a pair of forks crossed above it, and two cups of coffee. Cream and sugar just like he knows they like it.

Carefully he brings it to the bedroom, and then slaps the heel of his palm to his forehead. The crowns.

He goes back to the living room and puts his on, trying not to look at any reflective surfaces. It probably looks ridiculous on him, as ostentatious as it is. Instead he reads over the list again, trying to commit all the components woven in together. Then he takes his off and switches it, realizing that the one he had been holding had grass. Looks like Varacaea had snuck some in anyways.

Gabriel probably didn’t even put any stock in these meanings humans had conjured for the flowers. Still, he wants to do this. Even if it is silly, the gesture alone is important.

Carrying the remaining crown carefully in his hands, he slips back into bed.

Gabriel murmurs restlessly in their magic-enhanced slumber. Smiling, he leans down and presses a kiss to their forehead, removing his magic in the same motion.

A pair of sleep-befuddled eyes open, blinking up at him. They squint, following the motion of small stars through the air.

Then they take in his appearance. Their mouth drops open as their eyes widen. “That is, uh, quite a statement going on there,” they murmur, reaching up and tucking a strand of his hair back behind his hair.

“I hope you like it, because I have one for you!” Ramiel produces the crown from behind his back and holds it out for Gabriel.

Gabriel arches their eyebrows, trying to conceal a smile. “Did you make this yourself? Should I be concerned about spiders in it?”

Ramiel pokes the tip of their nose. “One time. It was one time. No one specified checking for insects prior to putting them on someone’s head.”

Gabriel shakes their head in mock pity. “Some would say it’s self-explanatory.”

“If my life made sense, I wouldn’t have you,” Ramiel murmurs, leaning over and placing the crown on their head before kissing them gently. “My own personal miracle.”

Gabriel strokes the side of his cheek. “What brought this on?”

Ramiel laughs, the sound seeming to increase the intensity of the light the showers shed. “You.”

“Me? What did I do?” Gabriel looks confused.

“Nothing and everything.” Gabriel scowls at that answer and swats at his crown. Chuckling, Ramiel catches their hand, kissing the inside of the wrist. “Time is a construct that is subjective and we often move outside of it. But I want you to know I love each moment, each second. Waking up with you is the only way I want to start every day, until the sun dies and beyond.”

He reaches out, touching the centerpiece of Gabriel’s crown. “Acorn for eternal life—immortality. Ambrosia forming the foundation, as our love does. Arbutus, because it is you alone I love.”

Gabriel’s eyes soften, watching him carefully as he continues, trying to recite everything perfectly. “Mine has grass, for submission, for as I am your equal, I want to submit to your love, let it rule over me.” Ramiel licks his lips. “Forget-me-nots for true love, for you are the only one I have ever, and will ever, truly love. My heart and soul are yours. Heather, white, so that all our wishes together come true, and that our life together, our love, is protected.”

There’s a green one, with vaguely bell-shaped blossoms that takes him a moment. “Oh! The Bells of Ireland for luck, because with my record, I need all the luck I can get.” He threads his fingers with Gabriel’s. “Though I think I used it all up when you told me you loved me,” he whispers, voice choked with emotion.

Gabriel squeezes their clasped hands. “You forgot a couple. I know daises are for loyal love, ,and dandelions for happiness. Daniel made me a flower-crown once,” they explain.

“Right!” A nervous chuckle escapes him. “That leaves… you know what, it’s all more of the same. Love, happiness, good wishes and that we may never part.” He leans forward, Gabriel meeting him halfway, pressing their forehead together, breathing in each other’s spirit.

“You’re a dork, and I love it,” Gabriel whispers. They find his lips, their free hand grasping the back of his neck, holding him captive. Unnecessary; he’s already spell-bound by the smile he can feel against his mouth.

Then Gabriel’s eyes flick sideways, motion catching their attention. Their brows lower and they pull away. “Okay, the flower crowns I get, but what are the rest of these?”

“Er…” Ramiel stares at the flowers. “Flowers from the bazaar on Aadzt. They only open in the presence of emotions. The red ones are the Flames of Passion.”

Gabriel’s lips curve in a knowing smirk. Ramiel blushes. “Eternal Love,” he points to the white flowers, their outline hazy due to the light they emanate.

“What is the one that is putting out stars?”

“Traveler’s Guide. It means that you are my North Star. I will always find my way home to you, guided by our love,” Ramiel murmurs, nuzzling Gabriel’s cheek. They laugh, and this time Ramiel’s certain the flowers glow brighter.

“Lastly, Misty Waters. We haven’t had the easiest of stories, which is mostly my fault. But sometimes it takes setting aside what you take for granted or obvious to find what you’re truly looking for.”

Gabriel leans against him, nestling their head beneath his chin. “I’m impressed,” they admit, still holding one of his hands captive.

“Then wait until the grand finale!”

Gabriel tilts their head back. “Ramiel, I love you, but hearing those words from your mouth strikes a chord of fear deep within me,” they inform him.

Ramiel kisses their brow. “Have some faith,” he chides, using his free hand to awkwardly bring the tray to his lap.

Gabriel stares at the fruit. “Is that the awful tasting fruit you brought back that one time?” they demand to know, nose wrinkling in disgust.

“We were eating it wrong,” Ramiel informs Gabriel, picking up a fork.

“Oh really? And what do we need to do differently this time?” They pick up their own fork, but use it to poke Ramiel’s side instead of the fruit.

“Well, for starters, you’re only supposed to eat it with your soulmate,” Ramiel comments. He nudges the thick skin of the fruit.

“If you’re trying to say the company you eat it in makes all the difference, then I have questions,” Gabriel comments. Ramiel squirms away from their offending fork, only to still as the coffee cups lurch precariously.

Gabriel’s smile turns devious. “Nowhere to run,” they murmur, kissing his throat and up to the underside of his jaw, rubbing the faint trace of his stubble against their cheek.

“The only place I would run is into your arms, and I’m already here,” Ramiel retorts. He narrows his eyes at the fruit. “I’m certain that it isn’t as bad as we remember it.”

“That makes one of us,” Gabriel says in resignation, moving their fork to also tentatively stab at it.

“Hmm.” Ramiel drops his fork, and tries to dig in his nails to peel back the skin. “Well, last time we ate this part so maybe we shouldn’t?”

“You have no idea what you’re doing, do you?”

“I have some ideas.”

Gabriel snorts, dropping their fork and grabbing the fruit to stop it from tipping the plate.

Abruptly the top starts to curl away. Both of them jerk their hands back, exchanging a glance. “It didn’t do that last time,” Ramiel offers helpfully.

“No, it—oh, that’s different.” As the skin falls away, it reveals a mound of pearl like seeds, their insides swirling with different colors. “You’re still trying it first,” Gabriel declares, reaching out and prying one from the strange tower. It comes away easily.

“You feeding me by hand? Of course it will be goo—oof,” Ramiel’s mouth opens as Gabriel elbows him, popping the piece of fruit between his lips.

He chews ponderously, lips quirked to the side.

“So?”

Ramiel takes one and offers it to Gabriel, raising his eyebrows and smirking without offering a word of comment.

“If it’s as bad as last time, you will regret this Ramiel,” they threaten, before taking it delicately from his fingers.

It’s worth it to watch the way their eyes widen in genuine delight and surprise, touching their lips in wonder. “I don’t—that’s not at all like it was before.”

“It really is all about the company though. It’s to be shared between soulmates. A taste of the bond between us.” Ramiel takes another piece, holding it up to Gabriel’s lips. “You are the light and love of my existence, so for me, it was sunshine and hope and the comfort of your arms.”

Gabriel takes the second piece, eyes closing and head tilting to the side as they chew, slower this time, savoring the flavor. “It’s familiar, like an old friend, but matured with age.” Their eyes open, meeting his. “It’s full of love and wonder, untouched by the darkness you think consumes you because you are good, and you are loved, and you are my soulmate as I am yours.”

Ramiel feels a well of emotions rise within him. Once again he leans down, pressing his forehead to Gabriel’s. “Yours, always and forever, pinna.”

“Always and forever,” Gabriel echoes.

Then they pull away. “But you’re going to have to fight me for this fruit because there’s only the one and after last time, I think I definitely get a larger portion to make up for it.”

Warm laughter, rich and full, fills the air. “We’ll just see about that, love,” Ramiel retorts, picking up his fork again, dueling with Gabriel for the fruit.

In the end it gets eaten, but no one keeps count. Sprawled together on the bed, heads together, hands still entwined; that’s all the pair of lovers care about.

#Ramiel #Ramiel RO #fluff #see? I can do fluff #Fluffball attack?#Fluff attack!#Spite writers #apparently that's what we are #flowers #flower language #cuddles

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wingdgaster · 5 years

Text

Getting to Know ‘Gen’

Tagged by: @justacard

Tagging: @archaicgeists @thehopcful @goodster @jurati-bones

Name: 'My... well, I suppose my name is Doctor Gaster... my designation among other fragments is Gentility, though I’ve another alias I once went by... I do not believe however I can quite recall what it was...’

Are you single?: 'I do suppose? I don’t quite have anyone after my hand, ahah’

Are you happy?: 'Ah... n-next question?’

Are you angry?: ‘I’m rather hard to get angry, in due honesty, I can recall the last time I drew frustrated, but not quite angry...’

Are your parents still married?: 'Unfortunately, I don’t quite recall a day where they were really ever together... so, I do suppose no?’

NINE FACTS

Birth Place: ‘It was a small village just outside the northern outskirts of what was then known as Kieven Rus’... ah, you may better know it as Russia, I believe?’

Hair Color: 'In the human guises I’ve taken up, it’s been something more silvery, does that quite count?’

Eye Color: 'Currently? A cyan teal-- though I’ve a few spells running, usually it’s white’

Birthday: 'February 29th’

Mood: 'I could say content works? A touch... well, a touch on the side of lonely, but... ah, that is how it goes’

Gender: 'Trans Male’

Summer or Winter: 'Winter, you should see what I can do with the snow, it always made the people of the Underground smile’

Morning or Afternoon: ‘Hmm... Afternoon? I do love watching the world shift from daylight to evening, the gold tones of the sky, even if they are an illusion, remind me of days I’ve since lost.’

EIGHT THINGS ABOUT YOUR LOVE LIFE

Are you in love?: 'I tend to find crushes rather quickly, but... my I don’t quite believe I could burden anyone with amorous endeavors. I believe I’d only put them in danger’

Do you believe in love at first site?: ' I suppose once I did... but this place, the Void has been something on the cusp of so vicious... its denizens fading out faster than I can to know the shine their eyes take when they smile... I can’t quite let my affection plant the seed and bloom so quickly... I’ve lost too many dear individuals... I’m afraid it’s not a luxury my heart can afford.’

Who ended your last relationship?: 'I... I had two at the time, actually... both were ended by the same individual... I don’t quite believe the relationship was ended by the means of which would be considered traditional, and it is not that I do not miss them even now. Jericho and Hemlocke were... are dear to me even in memory... and I can only pray I get the strength to return the favor to the one that stole them from me...’

Have you ever broken someone’s heart?: 'Perhaps Hemlocke’s... or... what remains of him in... n-next question’

Are you afraid of commitments?: 'No... more so of the chance they may be lost to someone seeking my head on a platter’

Have you hugged someone within the last week?: ' Heavens, I do not believe so, I must remedy this! My, does a cat count as a suitable companion to embrace?’

Have you ever had a secret admirer?: 'No, perhaps when I was a teen, but-- my it’s beena few good centuries since then’

Have you ever broken your own heart?: 'Far more times than I would quite like to admit, it’s quite alright though! I’ve gotten better about catching myself before it can come to fruition...’

SIX CHOICES

Love or lust?: ‘Heavens be, Love, of course--!’

Lemonade or iced tea?: 'Lemonade? What is... oh! Of course-- лимонад, pardon, I am not familiar with the English word most times-- yes, lemonade, best if you add blackberries!’

Cats or dogs?: 'Both are delightful! Though I do not know how Dulce will handle a dog...’

A few best friends or many regular friends?: 'My, I do not quite have many friends as it were... I believe either would be splendid’

A wild night out or a romantic night in?: 'Hmm-- my, why not a bit of both? it sounds rather fun to let loose once in a while and race up a river side with another’s hand in my own’

Day or night?: ‘I find I think the best when the world is asleep... it’s peaceful, quiet, comfortable, and I quite believe my magic is something closer toward unrivaled at night... so I do believe Night it is’

FIVE HAVE YOU EVERS

Been caught sneaking out?: 'Oh heavens, of course! My Father eventually caught on that I would sneak out to spend time with the Prince and eventually it became something more of a game to see how close to sneaking out before he spotted me and handed me a basket of baked goods to share with Asgore’

Fallen down/up the stairs?: 'At least twice today alone... the, err, up... bit. Down the stairs was just the once last week... I tend to be a rather clutzy fellow.’

Wanted something/someone so badly it hurt?: 'Only a few times... it’s been a while, I can’t quite recall something I’ve wanted that terribly since my arrival in the Void... well.. I can recall one... no, two things but... well, it’s best not to dwell on lost ones’

Wanted to disappear?: ‘My ah... best not to dwell on it but... for the sake of an answer, I will admit, yes... more times than I believe could be considered healthy’

FOUR PREFERENCES

Smile or eyes?: ‘Hmm, my while I would say a smile lights up the eyes, direct eye contact allows me direct connection to another’s empathic wavelengths... it’s always rather nice to be able to better tend to another’s emotional state-- though, can I pick both?’

Shorter or taller?: 'Hmm... I’m fond of both? Though I certainly wouldn’t mind someone taller than me--as difficult to find as that may admittedly be’

Intelligence or attraction?: 'B...Both? I’m fonder of personality, intelligence is nice-- as is physical attraction-- but, over both, I choose personality’

Hook-up or relationship?: 'I... ah, had to research what the first one was... but, I believe the second is something I’m certainly more comfortable with.

FAMILY

Do you and your family get along?: 'I can’t quite say I really have one...’

Would you say you have a “messed up life”?: ’Perhaps a bit... I’ve lost the two beloveds I can remember, my timeline is in ruin, my memory of who I was before it all is gone... I’d like to say before it all, it wasn’t so ‘messed up’ but... my I can’t quite remember what that was like’

Have you ever ran away from home?: 'No, not that I can recall, in my youth, I recall being rather content in my father’s care...’

Have you ever gotten kicked out?: 'No, thankfully, I was spared that much--’

FRIENDS

Do you secretly hate one of your friends?: ’I don’t believe I have it in me to hate one I could call a friend... I only hold hate in my chest for one being, and even then... I couldn’t bring myself to say it to his face... not with the life he stole... not with who he looks like’

Do you consider all of your friends to be good friends?: 'My I quite like to think so... I’m less than certain I am not bothering the dears when I come around, trouble does tend to follow me like a shadow. Often most times, my friendships are gathered in the face of danger-- I’d say it does build secure friendships?’

Who is your best friend?: 'I am not quite certain I have one’

Who knows everything about you?: ’I believe only one person... his name is Blacklight, but I’d rather he not come near again... there is more he seeks to know... and I would prefer he never found that out.’

#[ The Truth Prevails - Headcanons ]#[ Designation: Gentility - Character Study ]#[ Of Kind Spirit and Phantasmal strength - Gentility ]#[ Dark and Dreadful Dead - Macabre/Blacklight ]#[ Reborn of His Muddied Ashes - Hemlocke ]#long post #[ Lost to the Dark - Jericho ]

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quillheart-blog · 6 years

Text

The Lupin Group Sexuality Headcanon Post

In the wake of Blue Jacket inter-character relationships being a terrible mess, I want to share with you something. One of the reasons I love Lupin III and its Red Jacket days is because the four main characters (plus Zenigata) are all Real Ass Adults, and what’s more, each fit a different spot in the sexuality representation tree, as I interpret it. There’s a little something for everyone.

So here is my headcanon:

Goemon is 100% ace. He’s married back home, but he’s ace. And his wifey is okay with that. They’ll have to produce an heir at some point and they will, but they’ll just have the one kid, and they’ll raise it well and all in all it will be a loving but sexless arranged marriage full of cuddling and movie nights and dojo sparring and really that’s fine for both.

Fujiko is also ace, and possibly even aromantic, but she leans toward lesbian relationships after a certain point in life and likes them better for companionship. She’s not as averse to sexuality and sex acts as Goemon--she knows how to use her body to be “sexy”, in part just because she’s walking outside being female and pretty in today’s world--but it’s not something she’d choose to do if she has the choice. Lupin is the last guy she dates before she realizes she just ain’t about that life (And he’s probably rather crushed by this, but will always offer, with complete seriousness later in life, to be the baby daddy if she ever wants it).

Zenigata is your fairly standard straight male, ready and willing to live up to those strict gender roles that raised him, but he also readily accepts that as a man, he gets to define what that means. He cries, he cooks with his sisters and mother, and he’s also been in drag before and thought it was fun for a reason he can’t quite place. He’s kissed a boy or two back when he was in boarding school and one time had a crush on his captain when he was new to the force, but he doesn’t talk about that. He just remembers it fondly as a natural part of being a starry-eyed youth, that totally evaporated once he had a female commander who pushed his buttons way more. Once single women were in his life (ie after boarding school) they became all he was interested in.

Meanwhile, Lupin is a randy bisexual, who also cross-dresses; probably is a teeny bit trans and won’t admit it because it would screw up his street cred. It’s something he keeps to himself as a charming thing he treasures and hopes someone will appreciate someday. His entire crew knows that if he weren’t a thief, he’d be a gigolo and he’d be very happy with a simple life making lonely, wealthy people happy and sexually fulfilled somewhere on a Caribbean island. He would die well-sexed and well-loved to the point that his legendary number of grieving mourners leads to him being sainted a hundred years later as a saint of love and salvation. (Or so he likes to think.)

Jigen is bisexual as well, but leans much more toward the gay side of things than Lupin. He will sleep with, and fall in love with, the occasional woman if she’s within a very narrow type range. However, that type of relationship for him always seems to be built on a sense of duty, being a stable pillar for the woman rather than an equal partner with a full range of flaws and emotion, so he’s gravitated toward men much more over the years; it allows him to be more himself. It also just feels more “right” and “open” for him.

When Fujiko eventually breaks up with Lupin, Jigen and Lupin get together and Lupin is kind of surprised that it works; in fact, it takes him a while because he’s kind of afraid of what it means that it works. But, he eventually discovers that he gets to be both masculine and feminine with Jigen; it lets parts of him bloom that never have been let out of the box before. Meanwhile, Jigen just quietly smiles to himself because he gets to fulfill both the “stable pillar” and the “saucy leather daddy” role of his wildest dreams. They probably end up raising Lupin and Fujiko’s kid together and that kid gets, like, two moms AND two dads and it’s gonna be some wild kind of super villain hero. It’s Carmen Sandiego let’s be real here

In any event, I figure Jigen and Lupin get up to some kinky things together as they travel the world with their ace friends and everyone is kind of everyone else’s Gay Best Friend and they’re always, always Very Well Dressed as they rob their marks blind.

#lupin iii #head canon #fan theory #red jacket #part II #sexuality #diversity #lgbt #quasi canonical lgbt character #diversity and representation in media #fujilup #thief hubbies #Goemon Ishikawa XIII #zenigata #jigen daisuke #Arsene Lupin III #text post

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iamspringday · 6 years

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Holland - I’m Not Afraid

On Holland’s new MV, South Korea being stuck in the heteronormative stone age and how that unnecessary sloppy kiss might actually change the world for the better.

In short: “I’m Not Afraid” is FAR MORE relevant than “Neverland”.

Please click to read on.

As some of you might know, I was rather critical of “Neverland”. I found it highly problematic that it was hyped not despite but simply because Holland is openly gay. Even though I like it, the song itself is pretty weak and so are Holland’s vocal abilities up to this day. The only reason it caught people’s attention was the comparably spectacular kissing scene, a real shocker if you will. Jump scare to a narrow-minded conservative (catholic?) South Korean elder. You don’t even see hetero couples getting it on like this on South Korean TV. But you know... in an ideal world, we’re past that point already, aren’t we? Queer people kissing in Western media is, fortunately, already canon. It’s 20gayteen. We made it. So I wasn’t exactly sure whether “Neverland” was doing us the big favor it advertised. In my opinion, it was exoticizing homosexuality even further. I wrote a lengthy paper for university that dealt with how toxic the whole “flower boy” culture actually is for SK’s LGBT+ community. The media is selling homosexuality as an entertainment product that, however, is still widely denied in real life. A gay Korean friend once told me: “I am from the countryside. Homosexuality simply doesn’t exist there. It’s not a rare thing, it’s not frowned upon, it simply doesn't exist.” The K-Pop industry is to a great extent based on selling “ships” to people, on toying with androgynous visual concepts... to cut myself short: it’s the gayest place on earth while at the same time (and as an uncanny side effect) hammering heteronormativity into young people’s brains. And boy, when I say heteronormativity I mean you are served the whole array of anti-feminist and patriarchal values. Exo’s “Lotto” is most likely one of the most disgusting and unbearable MV’s out there when you’re watching it as a somewhat emancipated woman. But that’s for another time... (I love Exo btw). So anyway... thanks to kissing games and all that oh so innocent stuff, homosexuality is fictionalized. Always toyed with, never actually acknowledged. In people’ s minds it’s a show element. It exists exclusively on stage. Good thing if a young gay guy comes along to change the world, you’d think. But I’d like to claim that Holland’s success actually just rode the very same wave that the idol industry has been riding for years, only in a somewhat more extreme form. It wasn’t a gay kiss casually happening because it’s okay these days... everything (including the teaser) was about that very kiss. Let’s be salty for a second... it was a really crappy song, paired with really crappy visuals and vocals that would have gotten 0 attention if it weren’t for the 2 boys making sweet out-of-context-love in that California king bed. Holland didn’t receive the love he received because it was suddenly okay to be gay and rejoice with the boys in South Korea. He received it because the video was downright (pleasantly, obviously) scandalous. And that’s the big ass problem we face here. It shows how unprepared South Korea is when it comes to being part of 20gayteen. Don’t get me started on the fetishization it necessarily attracted. Well, I still think it’s better to be fetishized than to be ostracized... or is that just me? When “Neverland” was released everybody was like “those are the winds of change” and I was like... uhm no. Actually, this just reestablished what has been going on for years: Being queer is possible on the silver screen, it’s South Korea’s favorite supply to spice trivial content up and we live in the times of “gay sells”... It’s a marketing strategy.

So based on that, you can imagine that I approached “I’m Not Afraid” with a certain mindset already. I didn’t have high hopes. When I saw gifs on Tumblr that informed me “Oh, it’s hot air revolving around a making out session again” I was tempted not to watch it at all. Angry even just by looking at the gifs. Obviously, I ended up watching it.

And the boy slayed.

“I’m Not Afraid” has indeed taken that step. Away from being gay for the entertainment factor to bringing forth a pro-diversity and pro-equality message. I bloomed (excuse me, Troye) at the lesbian couple, the tattooed guy, the trans lady, the beautiful palette of skin colors and (here it comes) maybe especially at the way Holland blew that shisha smoke at the camera. Ever since then I’m wondering whether SK has a law that requires cigarettes to be censored while tolerating the display of waterpipes... so many questions. Anyway... I’m talking about pride here. As a queer person, that video makes your chest swell with pride rather than (as “Neverland” did to me) cringe... It’s a sweet short film about a perfectly ordinary group of friends having a good time and there is nothing you homophobic, heteronormative piece of poo can do about it. Even though it is obviously completely staged (duh), it conveys a certain casualness that makes diversity look natural where it originally always used to be the forced center of attention. Pocky games and other kissing games are like cockfights (no pun intended) shoving the scandalous gay into people’s faces... and now look at Holland and his squad casually being themselves.

I mean, the whole MV can basically be considered that big homage to Troye Sivan’s “Youth” (insert that butterfly meme here with me pointing at “Not Afraid” and asking “Is this a “Youth”?) and I’d like to point out that Troye didn’t deem it necessary to zoom in (out?) on a sloppy French kiss but maybe that’s the point. Maybe it’s not that bad after all. While (at least in theory) Western media has seen one or two queer people and is pretty okay with them exchanging saliva, South Korea ain’t yet and maybe really needs to see some snaky tongues curling around each other before people get the point of how it is human nature to also be attracted to the same sex. Any sex really. Gender is so 1990.

You go, Holland. *stares at you as proudly as you stared at the camera after deepthroating that dude’s tongue*

I end this with a moment of tearful silence for the fact that I had to click “I agree” when YouTube warned me that “I’m Not Afraid” might contain content that’s not agreeable for everybody. But here I am: Not afraid.

#holland #kpop #홀랜드 #I'm not afraid #lgbt+#gay kpop #queer #askspringday #spring rants

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itsbap · 7 years

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[LYRICS] B.A.P - HONEYMOON

Till dawn Little by little, slowly, the moonlight gets wet Chasing out the long darkness in the night Wait up Wake up Yeah We already feel the same

Throw away your complicated thoughts, don’t be afraid Free up your balled up instincts

When the moon shines on us brighter We’re alive in the moment

Feels like the honeymoon Feels like the honeymoon Feels like the honeymoon

Let’s talk it’s about time Sweep it all away, lose the essence After a fight with the world I’m going through a civil complaint The truth is null, cuz they turn away from it Always justify, raising the flag Same shit, Oh different day The origin of the word, reality If you can’t avoid it, just dance

Listen to your heart, it’s okay Trust your thoughts right now, whole new day

The voice that fills this place We’re alive in the moment

Feels like the honeymoon Feels like the honeymoon

I feel good It is true Life is colorful With my own light, paint the world In this blurry world Your light will spread even clearer

In front of the high wall Is a red rose Keep it deep in my heart

I will do my best For the dream that blooms in my heart

Feels like the honeymoon Feels like the honeymoon

Showering my body With the overflowing stars from beneath the palm tree A film on the shining freedom and bright youth I want to take, take you higher No fear, I won’t just avoid it We’re beautiful, I know you hate it But I’m freer than I’ve ever been

I feel good It is true Life is colorful With my own light, paint the world

Even this rough wind Enjoy it, feel so cool Darkness disappears

I feel good It is true Life is colorful With my own light, paint the world

Even this rough wind Enjoy it, feel so cool Darkness disappears

Feels like the honeymoon

trans cr: popgasa

#b.a.p #t:lyrics #honeymoon

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michaelfallcon · 4 years

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Support These Black-Owned Coffee Companies [Updating]

Original print by Cxffeeblack—pre-order now available.

Many readers have reached out in the last 24 hours via email and social media, requesting a resource to support Black-owned coffee companies in today’s historic moment for civil rights in the United States. In response, the last 24 hours have been spent reaching out and calling in to Black-owned coffee businesses across the United States, speaking directly with owners, founders, and members of various leadership teams. The goal was to provide a working, updating list of Black-owned coffee businesses across the country while prioritizing consent and permission from every included company.

Consent to being included is incredibly important, for reasons both obvious and subtle. This list is not perfect or fully authoritative and will be updated with additional information in the hours and days to come as we continue to gather consent and input from Black-owned coffee companies.

Alongside their own work, each owner and business leader was welcomed to spotlight an organization—be it local or national—that they wanted to amplify at this moment. Join us in donating to these organizations, and please see yesterday’s feature for an additional list of organizations and educational resources to support. Most of these are outside of the sphere of coffee—this is a moment that’s bigger than coffee.

If buying a bag of coffee is the beginning and end of your activism, that’s not enough. Don’t let it be where it ends.

This story is updating—we will continue adding businesses to it in the hours and days to come. Want to get in touch? Reach out via the contact form.

BLK & Bold — Des Moines, Iowa

Rod Johnson and Pernell Cezar of BLK & Bold (Photo via BLK & Bold)

Des Moines, Iowa based BLK & Bold was founded by Rod Johnson and Pernell Cezar. A distribution deal with Target makes BLK & Bold one of the biggest national Black-owned coffee brands in the United States in terms of coffee availability and access.

Here’s more info from the official BLK & Bold website:

“Our founders, Pernell & Rod, created BLK & Bold with a desire to make purpose popular. They welcome the obligation to equip young people with tools to live their best lives and overcome familiar unfortunate circumstances by turning a daily ritual, enjoying a cup of coffee & tea, into a means of giving back. BLK & Bold pledges 5% of its profits to initiatives aligned to sustaining youth programming, enhancing workforce development, and eradicating youth homelessness.”

Rod Johnson of BLK & Bold would like to recommend Sprudge readers consider supporting B&B’s national and local pledge partners, No Kid Hungry and By Degrees Foundation.

Red Bay Coffee — Oakland, California

Photo by Amir Saadiq.

Red Bay Coffee of Oakland, California is one of the most important coffee brands in the United States right now. Founder Keba Konte has managed the brand’s growth since founding Red Bay in 2014, including a successful Series A fundraising round in 2019 and multiple successful crowdfunding campaigns. In what Red Bay calls “an evolution of coffee culture,” Red Bay’s dedication to diversity and inclusivity is dug into the DNA of the company. “Customers are looking for a coffee experience that’s more inclusive and more deeply connected to the community,” they write. “[The] specialty coffee industry presents an opportunity to correct several inequities.”

Read a 2019 spotlight feature on Red Bay Coffee and founder Keba Konte.

Keba Konte would like to recommend Sprudge readers support the Dream Youth Clinic in Oakland, California whose mission is “Youth informed. Youth-led. Youth engaged.”

Cxffeeblack — Memphis, Tennessee

Bartholomew Jones (Photo by Erin Kim)

Cxffeeblack is the work of Bartholomew Jones, a Memphis based barista, brand builder, apparel designer, and activist. “Cxffee is more than a sugar and cream thing,” he writes. “It’s more than a colonial commodity. It’s meant for the people. Let’s #makecxffeeblackagain.”

Jones is a member of the Sprudge Twenty Class for 2020, with a forthcoming spotlight feature published in the coming days. He offers a range of originally designed apparel directly via his Cxffeeblack website, including t-shirts currently in the pre-order phase and multiple prints, stickers, and music bundles. He’s also responsible for the excellent Guji Mane coffee collaboration with Ethnos Coffee.

Bartholomew Jones would like to recommend Sprudge readers support the BLM Memphis chapter.

Deadstock Coffee — Portland, Oregon

Ian Williams (Photo by Zachary Carlsen for Sprudge)

On experience alone, Deadstock Coffee is one of the best coffee shops on the American West Coast, a clearinghouse of information and ideas, a daily intellectual feast of creatives from around the world connected by a love of coffee and sneaker culture. Founder Ian Williams has rightly be given significant media love, profiled by publications both local, national, and international thanks to an ongoing series of collaborations with the Tokyo Coffee Festival. He’s also a gifted coffee roaster now offering national shipping in the wake of COVID-19.

Deadstock’s official website offers a range of coffee and industry-leading merch design available, all of it created in-house by Deadstock’s team. You can learn more about this design process in our interview with Ian Williams from 2018, this excellent spotlight by Nike, and this episode of the podcast Racist Sandwich.

Deadstock is experiencing an outpouring of community support and some of the busiest days in the shop’s history over the last 72 hours. Ian and his team of baristas are donating funds to the Congressional Black Caucus and have asked this be shared with Sprudge readers looking to provide additional support.

Black & White Coffee Roasters — Wake Forest, North Carolina

Co-founder Lem Butler competes in the 2016 US Barista Competition. [Photo by Charlie Burt]

Living coffee legend Lem Butler is the co-founder (with Kyle Ramage) at Black & White Coffee Roasters, serving Wake Forest and a range of wholesale partners across the country, including Hopper & Burr in California, Drip in NYC, and Brew in North Carolina. He is the 2016 United States Barista Champion (read an in-depth interview with him here after the big win) and a five-time champion at the regional level, making him perhaps the most awarded and accomplished barista in American coffee competition history.

Lem Butler was a Black Coffee panelist at the Black Coffee event in New York City—watch this panel here. He has become a kind of “most likely to be mentioned” source of inspiration for baristas in the Sprudge Twenty and across the industry, serving as a much-loved MC at the Coffee Masters events and performing as an in-demand DJ at coffee social events around the world.

Like so many coffee businesses around the country, Black & White have struggled with the effects of COVID-19 but “we have a great staff and community support has been incredible over the last couple months,” Butler says.

Buy coffee, merch, and gear from Black & White Coffee Roasters today, shipping nationwide.

Lem Butler would like to recommend Sprudge readers consider supporting the Freedom Fighters Bond Fund.

Bloom & Plume — Los Angeles, California

View this post on Instagram

Just in case you missed it… I have a show coming out Monday!!! Say whaaaaat. It’s called centerpiece and i have the privilege to interview amazing creatives of color where I explore the core of there creativity and then synthesizing our conversation into a floral installation that i present back to each guest. It was such a moving experience on every level!! I am so excited to share…. so go download @quibi and watch my show, comes out Monday, with a new episode everyday. The show is pretty magical and I have poured so much love and creativity into this show, down to fixing some of the hair follicles that were out of place in this poster… #likeandsubscribe #centerpiece #anewwaytolookatflowers #anewwaytogiveflowers #anewwaytoshowlove #anewwaytoseeoneanother

A post shared by Maurice Harris (@bloomandplume) on May 15, 2020 at 2:10pm PDT

Maurice Harris is the founder of Bloom & Plume in Los Angeles, a unique coffee shop and floral design studio hybrid located in Echo Park. Harris’s list of clients reads like a who’s who of creative LA, from Goop to Gucci to MOCA and LACMA and dozens more, and in 2020 Harris has parlayed this work into a series of hosting gigs for programs on Quibi and HBOMax.

The coffee portion of Harris’ mission is styled as “your favorite neighborhood coffee shop… where everyone belongs and becomes a better version of themselves – One Cup, One Person, and One Neighborhood at a Time.” B&P Coffee has its own Instagram, and online they offer very good merch (look at this beautiful tote), gift cards, and pre-order for pick-up.

Visit the official Bloom & Plume Coffee website.

Bloom & Plume founder Maurice Harris would like to point Sprudge readers interested in donating to The Okra Project, and included this brief statement on the organization’s work:

“They are an organization that supports folks of the Black trans community who experience food insecurity, paying Black trans chefs to cook free meals for black trans individuals. In wake of the murder of Tony McDade and Nina Pop, The Okra Project started a Mental Health Recovery Fund, those donations go toward providing free therapy sessions with black therapists for trans-Black folks.”

Vagrant Coffee — Baltimore, Maryland

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We solemnly swear we’re up to only awesome things. Despite the mischief on display from these fellas.

#fuelthehustle #vagrantcoffee

A post shared by Vagrant Coffee (@vagrantcoffee) on Sep 16, 2019 at 9:38am PDT

Vagrant Coffee is a Baltimore brand, founded by Joshua Dew (with Jared Cate) in 2017, with the goal of “taking quality coffee everywhere through retail stores, specialty coffee catering, and small-batch, craft coffee roasted in Baltimore, Maryland.” In addition to offering online roasted coffee sales, original merch, and online ordering, Vagrant publish a blog, podcast, and video channel under “The Hustle Club” brand umbrella.

In lieu of supporting one specific organization, Vagrant has asked to share the following message: “We would encourage the involvement in the many local grassroots organizations that bring about change in urban centers.”

Southeastern Coffee Roastery — Baltimore, Maryland

Candy Schibli (Still from Black Coffee DC)

Southeastern Coffee Roastery is the work of Candy Schibli, whose title is “Founder/Head Roaster.” The brand offers a broad range of services, from one-time online coffee purchasing to subscriptions, local delivery, bespoke blending, food, tea, wholesale, and toll roasting—a full suite of coffee options and many ways to support their work.

Candy Schibli was a panelist at the Black Coffee DC event, and here’s a little more about their work form the official Southeastern Roastery website: “Beautifully southern, it is committed to promoting the cultural exchange, open dialogue, and collective creativity that coffee communion has historically and internationally nurtured. Southeastern Roastery unabashedly continues in this warm tradition by offering fresh, high quality, specialty coffees and sharing inspiring roasts in love.”

Candy Schibli would like to recommend Sprudge readers support the All African People’s Development and Empowerment Project.

BD Imports — Atlanta, Georgia

Phyllis Johnson speaks at the SCA Coffeewoman Panel in 2017 (Photo by Zachary Carlsen for Sprudge)

Coffee buyer, roasting company owner, and origin expert Phyllis Johnson is the founder of BD Imports, a coffee company dedicated to gender equity across the supply chain. BD offers a diversified range of services, crafting custom blends for roasting partners and roasting their own coffees targeted at the hospitality sector. Johnson is also a very accomplished and gifted public speaker and communicator, appearing on a range of panels and interviews across the specialty coffee industry over the last decade. Her landmark feature Strong Black Coffee: Why Aren’t African-Americans More Prominent in the Coffee Industry? is the winner of the Maggie Award for magazine journalism. For more on Phyllis Johnson and her mission, read this interview feature from 2017.

Phyllis Johnson would like to recommend Sprudge readers consider supporting the Equal Justice Initiative.

BeanFruit Coffee Company — Jackson, Mississippi

Paul Bonds (from BeanFruit Coffee: The Best Dang Coffee Roaster In Mississippi by Evan C. Jones)

BeanFruit Coffee founder Paul Bonds fell in love with coffee at a public cupping; today he owns one of the most decorated coffee roasting brands in the American south, winner of the Good Food Awards honor for coffee roasting and home to a fervent fan base stretching from Farmer’s Markets to high-end restaurants and online shopping. On BeanFruit’s website, you can purchase coffee, coffee subscriptions, crucial gear, and nice merch, plus learn from a range of brew guides and discover more from their vendors.

You will love this coffee! And while sipping, check out a feature on Paul Bonds and BeanFruit from 2016.

Paul Bonds has passed along the following note to Sprudge readers: “Please support your local public broadcasting system. Our current focus is on the protests, as it should be. However, we are still experiencing a pandemic, and children are relying on these free, accessible educational tools more than ever.” To find a list of public broadcasting stations to donate near you, click here.

Photo courtesy of LaNisa Williams for Sprudge 20, nominated by Michelle Johnson.

Barista Life LA

Barista Life LA is the full sevice training, education, consulting, private event and home demonstration brand from Los Angeles barista LaNisa Williams. On Instagram BaristaLifeLA is a strong must-follow, profiling Williams as she works with a broad range of cafes and consulting clients around the LA area, making beautiful drinks and educating along the way. A new launched initiative called #BlackInBrew highlights Black excellence across the specialty coffee industry.

LaNisa Williams is a member of the Sprudge 20 class of 2020 and you can read more about their work here. If you’re interested in supporting BaristaLifeLA, contact BaristaLifeLA directly via Instagram.

LaNisa Williams would like to recommend Sprudge readers consider supporting Pink Money Powerhouse, “a female owned and operated space for women to work and grow.” BaristaLifeLA’s forthcoming coffee kiosk will be located at PMP. Look for more on this on Sprudge in the coming weeks.

Drip Coffee Makers — Brooklyn, New York

Nigel Price (from Build-Outs Of Summer: Drip Coffee Makers In Brooklyn, NY)

One of the most dynamic and interesting coffee brands in the country right now, full stop—Drip Coffee’s Nigel Price is a coffee name you should know. Start with this recently released promo on IGTV to learn more about Drip and the work they’re doing, then follow them on Instagram for updates and hit their online shop to support (including gift cards). We’re thrilled to see the ongoing growth of Drip, whose transition to brick and mortar in 2020 follows their earlier work as a coffee cart, profiled as part of the 2019 Build-Outs Of Summer series.

Drip Coffee founder Nigel Price would like to recommend Sprudge readers consider supporting the ACLU.

Getchusomegear — Durham, North Carolina

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oh ya know just two coffee homies with three bags of finca nuguo to giveaway at the throwdown TOMORROW! thanks @blackwhiteroasters

you coming to the #uglysweatershowdown? swipe for the lowdown

#blackandwhiteroasters #coffeehomies #getchusomegear #specialtycoffee #weouthere #themoreyouknow #baristastuff #durham

A post shared by @ getchusomegear on Dec 19, 2019 at 12:37pm PST

Getchusomegear founder Chris McAuley is dedicated to passing on support to marginalized baristas. Their project compiles used and no longer needed coffee gear and gifts it to baristas around the country, a laudable action that feels increasingly essential in the current shared moment. Learn more about this project in Chris McAuley’s guest spot on @FullBodiedSweetFinish and click here to learn more on how to support Getchusomegear’s mission, including donating gear.

This feature is incomplete, imperfect, and updating. Additional businesses and business owners will be added to it in the hours and days to come.

Support These Black-Owned Coffee Companies [Updating] published first on https://medium.com/@LinLinCoffee

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