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tightjeansjavi · 3 months

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In the Warmth of Your Love

part II of Burning in a Hopeless Dream

Chapter one | “can’t quit you, baby”

A/N: to kick off my 1 year celebration of writing fic…we’re going right back to my roots! 🤭 to my devoted Gwen & Joel fans, this one is for y’all! I wrote this back in October after taking a looong hiatus from the series. The original path was to pick up on chapter 17 and continue to follow the path of the show. I decided that trying to essentially rewrite the events that take place after Bill & Franks episode was just too much for me to handle. I knew I wanted to continue Joel & Gwen’s story, but I didn’t know what that would end up looking like!

In the Warmth of Your Love takes place after the events in the hospital.

~word count: 3.1k~

Summary: a glimpse into your new life in Jackson with Joel.

Pairing | joel miller x f!oc

Warnings: fluff, angst, smut, established relationship, found family, age gap, (oc is in her early 30’s and Joel is in his 50’s) unprotected piv, pining, cock warming, dirty talk, praise kink, domestic intimacy, they’re so in love it hurts, +18 minors dni!

series masterlist

“Swear to me.”

“Swear to me that everything you said about the Fireflies is true, Joel.”

“I swear.”

6 months had passed since you and Joel murdered every single Firefly in the Salt Lake City hospital. 6 months since Joel swore to Ellie that everything he told her about the Fireflies was true. That they had stopped looking for a cure, and raiders attacked the hospital. That there were more people like Ellie that were immune.

It was all a lie. One that you and Joel carried on your shoulders everyday. As Ellie’s guardians, you and Joel made the decision that you both felt was the right one.

“Jesus fuck, Joel. What the hell did you do?” Tommy asked his brother the day after the three of you showed back up on Jackson’s doorstep.

“I did what I had to do. I protected her. I saved her. I killed every last person that stood in the way of me getting to Ellie. They were going to kill her, Tommy. They were going to kill her and I—we couldn’t let that happen. Ellie didn’t want to die. I know she didn’t because she fuckin’ told me before we were ambushed. I killed Marlene. I killed the doctor who was going to perform the surgery. I killed them all.” Joel admitted.

Tommy scrubbed a hand down his face with a heavy sigh as he sank back against the chair. “And Gwen? What was her role in all of this?”

“She killed them too. We did it together.”

“Does..Ellie know the truth?” Tommy already knew the answer but he wanted to hear it from Joel’s mouth first.

“No, she doesn’t. And she never will know what happened in that hospital. She can live her life the way she deserves to. She can make friends and be happy for once in her fuckin’ life.”

“Joel, I can’t have two murders livin’ in town. Maria won’t stand for it, and you know that brother.”

“Tommy, please. I’m your brother, for fuck’s sake. Gwen and I only did what we felt was right. Wouldn’t you do the same if it was your kid? You don’t have to tell Maria the truth. Don’t we deserve a second chance at peace too?”

“It doesn’t matter what the fuck I would have done in that situation Joel! You—you fucking murdered an entire hospital of Fireflies! This town doesn’t condone violence, and if anyone were to ever find out—”

Joel was leaning forward in his chair, his hands clasped together as he looked at his brother, right in his eyes with pure desperation in his deep brown irises. “I’ll be carryin’ that burden for the rest of my fuckin’ days. You’ve killed people too, Tommy. Just because you’ve been living here with a loving wife, and a baby on the way, doesn’t mean that the blood on your own goddamn hands gets erased. Listen to me, okay? Gwen is a good fucking person. She’s got a huge heart and she deserves a second chance too. She’s good with horses, and I can help you with any of the heavy lifting shit that gets done around here. Please, Tommy. Please let us stay.”

Tommy stared right back at his brother and deep down he knew he couldn’t turn him away, no matter how hard he tried.

“Okay. All three of you can stay, under one condition. You never, and I mean never speak about what happened at that hospital to anyone. You hear me Joel? Never.”

“I swear on my life that I will never speak about it again. You have my word Tommy.”

Maria was no idiot and Tommy knew this all too well about his wife. “They’ll stay in the house they were in the last time they came through here. Joel said that Gwen has worked with horses before and can help out around the stables, and Joel can help me with fixin’ things ‘round here. He’s really good with that stuff.”

“We have enough mouths to feed as it is Tommy. I really don’t think this is a good idea.”

“Maria, Joel is my brother. He’s been through hell, all three of them have. I’m not going to turn them away so can we please come up with a compromise here?”

“Fine. I just don’t want Joel or Gwen near any weapons. If they’re going to live here, then they’re going to abide by our rules. Ellie will go to school with the rest of the kids and I expect Gwen to also help out with food prep and the Tipsy Bison. Joel can help you with the handiwork projects, and in time he can help out on patrol.”

“Ellie will probably end up fighting tooth and nail to not go back to school, but I’m sure we can work that out.”

In the early mornings you were helping out in the stables. Feeding the horses, mucking stalls, and grooming. It was easy enough to fall back into a routine that you had known so well from your teen years. You knew horses better than anyone in Jackson did, and you were beyond grateful at being given a fresh start. Your afternoons were spent in the mess hall kitchen. Prepping vegetables and breaking down chickens for dinner. Food was abundant in a place like this, and you weren’t sure if you would ever grow used to the feeling of no longer having to starve.

Your evenings after dinner were spent at the Tipsy Bison, working behind the bartop with Tommy. If there was one thing the men in Jackson loved, it was a pretty woman serving them whiskey after a long day out on patrol. At the end of each day there was only one man you wanted to see in your bed, and that man was Joel; your Joel.

These days you hardly saw him or Ellie. Your schedules were different. With Ellie at school and working at the stables in the afternoon, and Joel helping Tommy in the mornings, and then patrolling through the evening, there was barely any time for you to spend together. He still held you at night through his exhaustion, but he too missed the way things used to be.

The days flew by, summer had come and gone. The seasons changed and the air grew colder, and the nights grew longer.

You had just finished wiping down the bartop after the last of the stragglers headed home for the night. You carefully placed every bottle of liquor back onto the shelf before scrubbing the glasses clean. The record player crackled in the background, Led Zeppelin's ‘I Can’t Quit You Baby’ a rock n’roll classic. You hummed the tune, swaying your hips subconsciously to the low beat.

The door to the Tipsy Bison swung open on the hinges as you let out a sigh, not looking up from the table you were wiping down. “We’re closed for the evening. You’ll have to come back tomorrow.”

“I don’t wanna anythin’ to drink.” Joel rasped as he closed the door behind him.

“Joel? What are you doing here?..it’s late, shouldn’t you be at home?” You looked up at him through thick lashes.

“Couldn’t sleep. Decided to go for a walk, n’ended up here. I miss you..so much. Hardly get to see much of ya at all. Jus’ thought we could spend some time together, even if it’s gotta be in a place like this.”

“I miss you too, Joel. You know I do.”

“I know, baby. I know.” He paused as his gaze fell upon your exhausted face, and tired eyes. “S’that Zeppelin playin?’” He rested his elbow along the high top you had just wiped down.

“Yeah, one of the patrol guys found it for me in an abandoned house a few miles west. It’s got a few scratches but is otherwise in fair shape.”

“Mm.” He hummed under his breath. “S’you got admirers then? Can’t say I blame ‘em. Pretty thing like you servin’ them whiskey all night? How do ya keep ‘em at bay?” His brow raised in curiosity.

“With this.” You slipped your knife from the holster hidden under your shirt with ease. “Tommy keeps them on a tight leash anyway. They know not to try anything funny.”

“Breakin’ the rules already? Maria said no weapons, sweetheart.” He leaned forward along his elbow as his fingers reached out and brushed against the worn hilt of your knife. He could just barely make out your carved initials through the thick wood. “You tell ‘em that you're mine? That you’re Joel’s girl, and that if any of ‘em ever were to—”

“Joel, relax. No one has tried anything past harmless flirting. Everyone knows that you and I..we’re an item. What Maria doesn’t know won’t kill her. My knife is a safety net that I’m just not ready, nor willing to give up right now.”

“We’re more than an item, Gwen. We’re partners for life. I know your knife is your safety net. I know it is, baby. S’why I still sleep with a gun under my pillow. Knowin’ it’s there helps calm me, but the one person that keeps my nightmares at bay ain’t home. She’s not in bed with me cus’ she’s here servin’ whiskey all night to men that probably fantasize about what it’s like to be with a woman like you.” He breathed out and you could taste his warm breath along your unkissed lips.

“Of course we are Joel. I got you, you got me. That hasn’t changed, and it never will. We’re both in this adjustment period and it’s tough. I’d much rather be at home with you and Ellie, but Maria said I had to ‘pay’ my dues.” You gently placed your knife along the smooth wooden surface of the table. “Are you sure there’s nothing I can get you to drink, Mr. Miller?”

“If you’re on the menu for tonight, then that’s what I’ll be havin.’”

“I believe we might be all sold out of that for tonight. Let me go check in the back just to be sure.” You were already turning on your heel to walk away before you felt his warm and calloused palm wrap around your wrist, halting you from taking another step.

“Ain’t you got a little love left for me? When’s the last time I’ve tasted those lips, hm?” He gently coaxed you to step towards him, and once you were close enough, his hand released your wrist and found purchase around your hip through muscle memory. His fingers flexed as his thumb slipped through the belt loop on your jeans. “Y’remember that night after teachin’ Robert a lesson? When we fucked in that back alley without a care in the goddamn world if FEDRA would catch us or not? Remember when we would..have fun? Don’tcha miss that?”

“I’ve always got love left for you Joel. I can’t remember the last time we kissed without us thinking it would be the last time. I do remember that night, just as if it had happened yesterday.” Your hands found themselves resting along his shoulders, squeezing them gently through the material of his worn jacket. In the low lighting your eyes discerned the speckled gray in his beard, and the salt and pepper silver strands of hair. His chapped lips, his inviting eyes that always softened their hardness around you. “We had fun, Joel but between all of that there was so much—”

“No. Don’t say another word. Y’hear me? We don’t have to run. We don’t have to hide. We don’t have to fight. We’re safe here. You, me and Ellie. I won’t deny that you and I—we’ve suffered, but in that suffering we have loved goddammit. We have loved so fuckin’ hard. You're the breath in my lungs, n’you’re the soft breeze kissin’ on my skin. You’re the sun risin n’settin’ everyday. You’re the moonlight guidin’ me home. Your eyes twinkle brighter than any goddamn star in that sky. You’re my—” his words were stolen from his lips as you yanked on the collar of his jacket and pulled him down to your awaiting lips. You kissed him so deeply it felt like both the air from yours and his lungs was being knocked from your bodies. A cataclysmic wave of emotions washed through your veins as you pulled him as close as physically possible. Tongues tangled as you stumbled back against the nearest stable surface; the bartop counter.

“When did you become such a fuckin’ poet, Joel?” You asked breathlessly between kisses as your fingers tangled recklessly through his hair.

“Started readin’ more. Shakespeare mostly.” He mumbled against your lips as he stepped between your thighs, pressing your back firmly against the counter.

“You hate Shakespeare.” You retorted, gripping his hair tighter as your free hand started to desperately tug and push the fabric of his jacket down from his broad shoulders.

“You love Shakespeare.” He countered.

“Less talking, more kissing please. I gotta say it’s fucking hot that you are reading more. I find that so fucking sexy Joel.”

“Yeah? Think it’s sexy when a rugged old man like me reads Shakespeare?” He helped you remove his jacket completely as he threw it to the floor in a haste.

“You’re not that old, baby. Besides, I like your salt and pepper hair and little gray patches in your beard. You’re so fucking beautiful Joel.”

“I’m pretty fuckin’ old, baby. Old and a little gray, but I still got it n’me to fuck you stupid. Jus’ the way that my girl likes it. Them dogs out there don’t know how to handle a woman of your caliber. Now, hop up that pretty lil’ ass up on that counter f’me.”

“You don’t have to ask me twice Mr. Miller.” You detached your lips from his momentarily as you hoisted yourself up onto the edge of the countertop. You wasted no time to grasp the end of your t-shirt and yank it over your head.

“Someone is fuckin’ eager.” He chuckled as he pulled his sweater and Henley long sleeve over his head. He was feeling like the man he once was again; you were feeling like a woman reborn as he popped the button of your jeans and tugged the zipper down as you reached for his belt in a haste, listening to the familiar metal clanking sound.

“Only ever eager for you Joel. You gonna touch me or just ogle?” You teased with a light giggle as your arms draped around his neck. Your bodies were littered with scars, old and new. Two torn canvases splattered with remnants of a life once solely based upon survival.

Joel tugged your jeans down over your hips before his movements paused as his eyes flitted down to the long scar across your lower abdomen. His fingers brushed across the raised skin before he leaned down and pressed his lips to it. “I love you so fuckin’ much, Gwen.” His lips ghosted across your hip bone.

“I love you so fucking much too, Joel. I need you so bad. Please, baby. Don’t make me beg for it. It’s been too fucking long, and I think I’ll pass out if I don’t have your cock inside of me in the next five minutes.”

“Baby, you’re so generous...givin’ me five minutes to give it to ya?” He looked up at you, grinning like a devil as he slowly peeled your panties down your thighs and past your ankles. “What about your pussy? Think she’s missed me a lot too? Cus’ I’ve missed her so fuckin’ much.” He dragged his fingers southward across your pubic bone, dipping into the sweet sticky slick between your folds. “Mmm. Yeah, I’d say she missed me too. This all f’me?”

Your back instinctively arched towards his touch as your thighs spread open the slightest. Between the cool surface of the countertop, and Joel’s warm touch you were positively dripping for him. “Mhmm..she’s missed you too. So fucking much.” You mewled and slowly reached your hand between your bodies as you palmed him through his briefs. “Give. It. To. Me. Now.”

You nearly growled the words out.

“There she is. There’s my fuckin’ girl. Always know how to get your man goin’ huh? You ain’t even gotta try sweetheart. M’always fuckin’ ready for you.” His lips were on yours once more. Kissing you with the same amount of fervency as he always did. His mouth claimed yours as he freed himself from his briefs. You felt his tip notch between your folds as you took a synchronized broken gasp.

Your hands were grasping at his shoulders, nails scraping at his skin as he slowly sunk himself to the hilt. Joel always had this way of making you feel impossibly filled with him. It was as if your bodies were in fact made for one another, fitting like two puzzle pieces as his forehead pressed lightly against yours. “Fuckin’ Christ. Missed this feelin’ of your pussy huggin’ me like this baby. Always so fuckin’ tight.”

He jutted his hips forward with one harsh thrust that had you both shuddering from the intense pleasurable feeling of being connected once more.

“I’ll—I’ll never get tired of this feeling.” You moaned his name, rolling your hips to meet his thrusts.

“What feelin?’” He rasped.

“Feeling so fucking filled by you. So complete. So warm.”

“S’like you and I were made for each other. All mine, all yours.” His free hand that wasn’t wrapped around your hip drifted down to where your bodies were connected. His thumb easily found your clit as he rubbed it expertly in tight circles.

“Fuck! Yes, keep—keep doing that baby. Don’t stop. Please don’t stop, Joel.” You begged him.

“Ain’t gonna stop. I can’t quit you baby. Can’t quit ya. Never can. Never will. I got you, you got me.” He used what was left of his energy to fuck into you the way that you deserved so that feeling that only he could give you would reside deep within your veins even after your body’s were spent, and he had grown soft in your comforting warmth around him.

He kissed your skin delicately as your sweat slicked bodies stayed pressed together. He kissed your forehead, your cheekbones, your eyelids. Your chin, the tip of your nose and your lips. He cleaned the evidence of yours and his releases from between your thighs before you helped one another redress.

He walked you home, arm draped over your shoulders as your slap-happy giggles and enthusiastic chatter filled the chilled night air with domestic warmth.

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blues824 · 11 months

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Heya bestie Can I please request the remarried empress with Sonia nevermind.

👑Her being heinley his sister because she is the ultimate princess after all so it fits because heinley is the ultimate king.

👑Her getting invided and her being compared to navier to her beauty and how would they both take their roles so seriously.

👑But she is known for her cursing sometimes and it's out of nowhere and she has a stange obsessing with the acult and the macabere.

👑Imagen sovieshit asking for her be be his mistresses and heinley refusing and her curing goddammit all to hell out of nowhere in such a proper way .

https://youtu.be/MAQiGh5woag

👑Her usually hanging out with navier because who doesn't want to learn from her and her later becoming her sister in law.

👑Her listening to kosiar talking about how he defeated people or beat someone up and her just listing to him not carrying that it it's not very prinses like.

It seems the random number generator chose you again, bestie 🫶

I decided that because Sonia is fluent in many languages, I should add the Grand Duke as well. Also, you are the princess of the Western Kingdom, but you are not set to marry anyone as you are not the heir. You also are not able to turn into a bird.

Sovieshu Vict

You had been invited on his behalf, as he was aware that it would be in your best interest to get you outside of your palace and into another country. However, he was not expecting the absolute beautiful woman that stepped down from the ship that delivered both you and your older brother to the Eastern Empire.

Sovieshu heard the guards and the servants whisper about how your beauty was incomparable, not even to the mistress or the Empress herself. Well, he has to agree, because he thought you were the most beautiful woman he had ever seen before. Not only that, but you were intelligent and you knew about the Empire’s customs, and you were always willing to learn more.

However, you dropped the polite act once he asked you about two weeks later if you would consider becoming his second mistress. You quite literally said, “GODDAMN IT ALL TO HELL! DAMN YOU, EMPEROR SOVIESHU!” Your brother as well as the Empress and her brother heard the noise from outside and they rushed out to comfort you and dry your tears.

From that point on, you stayed away from the Emperor. He was kept busy during the entire time you were there, fortunately for you, as that meant he had no time to seek you out. However, upon escorting you to the ship that would take you back to the Western Kingdom when you found out your eldest brother was dying. He would have placed a kiss on your hand, had another man not done so already.

Rashta

You were actually one of the first people to ever be kind to her, and so she thought she could trust you. However, she saw Sovieshu’s loving gaze towards you, and she quickly realized that you were a much better selection of a girl than her. The only thing that made her qualify was that she was carrying the Emperor’s child. You were knowledgeable on how to be a royal member, you knew the customs of nobles and locals better than she did, so it made sense.

So, she started avoiding you. She was absolutely convinced that your kindness was false and in reality you were trying to take away the life that was finally given to her. You were saddened by how she drew back, as you considered her a friend, so you mostly stuck with Navier instead. Plus, your brother said that it would be better for you anyway, because you were set to be a queen rather than a mistress.

Anyways, one day there was a sudden scream in the garden of, “GODDAMN IT ALL TO HELL, SOVIESHU!”, and Rashta quickly made her way over. You were crying and clearly in distress, and Heinrey was yelling at the Emperor while Navier and some other man were helping you wipe away your tears. The young mistress only heard from her servant later about what had taken place within the garden, and she was absolutely frustrated about it.

She went with the group to bid your goodbyes to each other, and you were still as kind as ever to her. You gave her a hug, and you wished her and the baby good health, and it almost brought her to tears. Sovieshu was sad at seeing you go, and Rashta knew it from the sad look on his face, but you seemed to already be taken, as the man who comforted you before placed a kiss upon your knuckle.

Navier Trovi

She was aware that her husband had invited you along with your older brother as an enriching opportunity, and it was definitely wise. Upon meeting you, you seemed to be very impressionable since you were away from home. She took it upon herself to lead you about, teaching you what it meant to be in charge of a Kingdom (Empire, but the point still stands).

From the very beginning, she knew that you were beautiful. You were also kind and graceful, all traits befitting of a future queen… oh wait. Based on what she knew about your family (and how your older brother was promising her a future as the Queen of the Western Kingdom), you were not going to inherit the kingdom. However, she saw how much you cared about your people, and it didn’t seem fair.

That aside, you confided in her in everything, especially when two men specifically were quarreling over your hand. You didn’t want to hurt anyone’s feelings, and she was like a sister figure to you already. It was a bit childish, but you would ask her for advice over a few cups of tea, and she was willing to lend an ear. However, the amount of times you have cursed is very surprising to her.

When it was time for you to leave, she knew that you would have to choose between one or none of the two who pursued you. She was sad to see you leave, but you weren’t saying ‘goodbye’. You would return soon with your decision, so as she pressed a kiss to your cheek as a friendly farewell, she whispered to you that she would keep in touch with you through letters in your absence.

Heinrey Lazlo

He was fairly excited to go to the Eastern Empire when you both got the invitation, as were you. However, you were the one who went to say farewell to your eldest brother and your sister-in-law before you met up with Heinrey at the docked ship. The entire journey was a very long one, but it was worth it once you got to your destination.

It was at the ball, specifically, where you saw your brother go all heart-eyes for the Empress. You pushed him in her direction, and you were very happy to see the two speaking to each other. However, not five minutes later, you were facing the Grand Duke Kaufman, who was asking you to dance. You were definitely not expecting this, but he spoke to you in Luiptian, and you responded with enthusiasm as you accepted it.

Heinrey watched you like a hawk. You were his younger sister, after all, and his brother had told him that he needed to look out for you. He asked the Empress who exactly was the man that asked you to dance with him. He had half a mind to go and stop this nonsense, but then he learned that the Grand Duke of Luipt was your dancing partner. If he stopped you two, it could mean that trading plans with Luipt would go awry with the Western Kingdom, so he stepped back.

After a few weeks of being within the Eastern Empire, Heinrey came to you with information about Wharton’s state. You were distressed already, due to the whole mistress thing that the Crowned Prince here had to bring you back out of by yelling and cursing out the Emperor. It was one of the moments where he fell deeply in love with Navier, as she along with another man comforted you.

Kosair Trovi

He burst in on you and his sister having tea, and he forgot any word that was originally going to come out of his mouth. You were just so beautiful. However, he got his bearings and walked up to greet both you and Navier. The latter lady introduced the two of you formally, and Kosair bowed down and gently took your hand in his to place a kiss upon the back of it.

From that point on, every night, he would rant to Marquess Falhan about how kind you were during the whole interaction. Your eyes were absolutely majestic and had him in a lovesick trance. However, it seems he wasn’t the only one taken aback by you. You seemed to have other suitors, which made sense considering you were a princess, and the Lord of the Trovi Household was set on winning over your heart and your hand.

However, one day as he was preparing for his departure from the palace, he heard a lot of commotion coming from the garden. You were shouting, “GODDAMN IT ALL TO HELL! FUCK YOU, SOVIESHU!” He, Heinrey, and Navier were all rushing out to you, and you were crying as the Emperor was trying to comfort you. However, the Prince of the Western Kingdom pushed him off as the Empress and her brother were wiping your tears away.

Then came the day where you had to depart to settle things in your own kingdom. Kosair looked like a kicked puppy, and you promised him that you would be back after the coronation. It made his eyes light back up a little, and he promised, as he kissed the back of your hand once again, that he would propose to you when he saw you again.

Grand Duke Kaufman

He met you at the New Year’s Ball, and you were what he thought a star would be as a person. Your ball gown brought out your eyes, and you were very kind. Each person that hailed from a different kingdom spoke to you in their native language because you were fluent in over thirty languages, so he decided to ask you to dance with him in Luiptian. It didn’t really surprise him that you responded by accepting his invitation in Luiptian, but it was rather the accepting part of the whole interaction.

As he waltzed with you on the dance floor, everything else seemed to go away. It was just you two, caught in the moment and not willing to let it go. You talked with each other as well, and he learned quite a bit about you. For example, you are loyal to your kingdom just as he was to his, and your brother was giving him a death stare. It caused you to giggle as you apologized for Heinrey’s behavior, and he had a bit of a smile as he assured you that it was alright.

That time when he tried out the love potion to test its potency, you were present briefly before you had to go with Sovieshu and chat with him. Kaufman was already jealous of the Emperor, but even more so when he drank the potion and looked at you right after. It was definitely quite the conundrum, and he had to force himself back into his room. That didn’t last long, as two hours later he heard you in the garden, shouting, “GODDAMN IT ALL TO HELL!” He was there within seconds to console you, and Heinrey was there to push Sovieshu back and away from you.

When you had to leave for your kingdom once again, he really did not want you to go. Unfortunately, he was still under the influence of the potion, so his heart was demanding him to not let you go. However, you promised that you would return once everything was settled, and that seemed to satisfy him. He watched as your ship left the dock, and he immediately started planning his proposal. He would, of course, have to return to Luipt and get everything ready for you before he asked for your hand, though.

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delicatebluebirdruins · 11 months

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Devil in the Details (DLC edition)

Daughters:

Jack, I've put our guest to bed in the trailer. (I told her she could have the old bedroom, but she insisted…)

Marguerite

Mia trying to isolate herself incase contact with her would expose the Bakers to infection... I think it might have done actually considering how quickly it snowballed in daughters and the infection coming and going in waves (they were fighting it)

To the Baker Family,

Thank you for saving my life. But please forget all about me.

Mia tells Ethan and the Bakers to forget about her. And she forgot herself really

I was assigned to transport some important cargo on that ship. Getting involved with me, or that cargo, can only cause trouble for your family. Big trouble.

Please don't contact the police or state authorities. Just pretend we never met.

few reasons for this warning: one is because the police and state authorities would be woefully unprepared. two the connections would catch up a bit quicker (maybe the connections were monitoring missing persons cases along the route?) and take Evie back or outright kill her and Mia

And… you saved me, so take this advice in return. If you see a girl near the ship who looks about ten years old, DO NOT approach her.

I would have put this sooner to be honest. And another thank you. One good turn deserves another.

If she talks to you, get away as quickly as you can. Just try not to make her angry in the process. If you've been feeling ill at all, then I'm afraid the worst may already have happened.

It's a fate worse than death, and it can't be cured at a hospital. I'm so sorry.

of course the people infected lose all form of self just wanting to please whoever infected them

There is a way to stop it, though. Serum. If you inje stop the symp

as we know from the reports in the salt mine the serum Mia is referring to would not work. But maybe hope would be enough to keep them sane (it was for Zoe the only one to read the letter)

and the ending is because Evie caught up and interfered

Bedroom: (i love the start where Clancy gets told by Margurite that Evie wants him to be her big brother just the big ass ?????)

Jack's Journal fragment (I want to say this diary entry is from 2015 or 2016 we don't know but I think 2016)

Jan. 24 Marguerite's on the warpath again.

I can handle her when she's yelling–it's when she gets all quiet that you gotta watch out. At that point, you say one word and she flies off the handle. Nothing for it but to wait.

as someone who has gotten jumped on by Margurite without hearing her and dying during Ethan must die yeah sounds about right

Margurite is the angry one with a short fuse acknowledgment something

Jan. 28 Goddamn Zoe. All Marguerite did was yell at her some, and Zoe went and pointed a knife at her.

Just pulled it right from the dresser! Who knows where else she may be hiding them.

I better check everything in the house, just in case.

What am I gonna do with that girl? It's like she doesn't appreciate a loving family.

Zoe showing some sign of infection and being scared of her family

hi Evie and her ideal

Not A Hero

Operation "Lurking Fear"

Primary Mission Extract Lucas baker

Location Dulvey, Louisiana, USA Baker estate

Threat Profile ·"Molded": Alpha variant, others ·Anti-personnel traps (lethal and non)

Notes: Due to the lack of intelligence and the number of unknown factors involved, Chris Redfield of the BSAA wll act as a bioweapons specialist on missions.

they have some intelligence (I wonder who they got it from) but not a lot

so they send in the luckiest (and unluckiest if you have to rely on him unless your name is Jill, Claire or Sheva) and most experienced man they have

LOCATION UPDATE:: Recent intel has confirmed that Lucas Baker s holed up in the mines near the Baker estate.

Profile - Lucas Baker: Suspected associate of criminal organization The Connections (role unconfirmed). Holds vital intel regarding said organization.

they need info and Lucas is the best one for it at this point

Profile - The Connections: Criminal organization producing bioweapons for sale on the international black market. Limited intel on size, market share, and members. They are the prime suspects implicated in the production and distribution of the E-Series bioweapon. E-Series model "Eveline" is present and active at the Baker estate. Lucas Baker seems to be monitoring her and reporting on her activities.

Limited: meaning small in amount or number. so they have a small idea of how big the organisation is, how much they're worth (market share meaning: the percentage of the market for a product or service that a company supplies) and how many members it has

prime suspects. Prime meaning most important, suspect to believe something to be probable. to me this reads as the connections not being the only group experimenting the with mold

Letter from Blue Umbrella

For many of you this is your first mission with us, so we wanted to make it clear what Umbrella is all about.

Though many of our staff hail from the infamous pharmaceutical giant Umbrella, our purpose is to make amends for the atrocities perpetrated under the Umbrella name. That is why we re-incorporated as a PMC in 2007.

We will put a stop to not only anyone who is engineering or selling bioweapons, but those who support those efforts as well.

We made a mess and now we have to clean it up. By keeping the Umbrella name, we show that we take responsibility for that mess and we want you to remember that you carry this responsibility with you in every mission

thank you game developers for including Graves Diary and the Scientists dying message in RE3R. Umbrella collapsed in 2004

Eveline Observation Log

E-001 Log - July 22, 2016

Health: Good Mental State: Good Mutamycete Secretion: Normal Other: n/a

Not much change. She just plays with dolls all day. Turned two guys Molded today.

why do these records start in July 2016 when Lucas has been cured since 2015 (lmao that's today I'm writing this)

what change was the writer looking for

bit of normalacy for Evie. those guys were turned into the white molded possibly (i say this because the white molded have more human like heads and have human organs. but it could be either)

E-001 Log - August 12, 2016

Health: Coughing, exhaustion Mental State: Slightly stressed Mutamycete Secretion: More than usual Other: n/a

After playing ball with dad, she started complaining about being tired. Turned one guy into a Fat Molded.

self explanatory

begining of Evie's decline and another moment of normalacy (I wonder what Jack thought of this and I wonder if Margurite was involved at points as well)

it depends on the individual on what turns into what

E-001 Log - August 26, 2016

Health: Bad Mental State: Stressed Mutamycete Secretion: High Other: Sudden aging

She's aging all of a sudden: losing weight, hair falling out, the works. The more she screams, the more she vomits. Basement's heavily contaminated. No apparent cause for the aging. Gonna ask for further instructions

poor Evie.

the basement in the main house obviously and then got moved to the proper lab in the mines

E-001 Log - September 9, 2016

Health: Weak but stable Mental State: Delusional, incoherent Mutamycete Secretion: Stable Other: n/a

Aging has slowed, seems pretty stable. Got the E-Necrotoxin from the company. Orders are to use it "if she gets out of control." And I thought I was the funny one.

the connections have no desire to salvage Evie after they got her data from an entirely new environment (not quite real world but close enough) Lucas wants to keep going until she dies (?)

Researchers Journal

June 11, 2017 I'm sick of this guy Lucas. They just gave him my job as lead researcher.

Who do they think I am? Why do I - a Stanford graduate with a master's in microbiology - have to work under this lunatic? All he does is mess around with the test subjects-making them all fight each other and doing unnecessary autopsies. He's sick. He knows nothing about the E-series mutamycete's potential. I'm going to report his behavior at the next meeting with HQ.

that makes the time frame interesting as he was in charge for a month (ish)

what the fuck did Lucas do to get promoted to lead reseacher?

Lucas is a little like Alex Wesker and that is not a compliment

as for the potential Lucas wants to see how far it can go we don't know anything about these guys

Lucas Journal

I killed off all the Connections' researchers.

They were poking around where they weren't supposed to when I wasn't looking, but I knew exactly what they were up to. Probably didn't like having to report to me.

So, I thew them in a cage with some Molded. They shit their pants and begged for their lives. I'm just worried I won't be able to hold back from laughing when I make the report that they met with an unfortunate accident.

Probably a good time now to cut ties with The Connections. I'm the only one who can really make good use of Eveline's mold.

I wonder what exactly the other researchers were looking for

considering Lucas is aware of our movements as Ethan and as Chris (turning all the traps in the green shutter)

Lucas is terrible

What was his exit strategy? And here it is the reason why he betrayed them in the first place

Email Log:

Sent: Thursday, July 20, 2017 10:22 AM

Things got a little out of hand, but I took care of it. I'm sending the E data now. It shouldn't take long.

After it goes through, I'm outta hetw;j

Umbrella and Chris

I wonder if he was planning on destroying the lab

Note on the Wall

Buyer for E data? → Got one -Get set up for transmission

still don't know who he was talking to

End of Zoe

Orders are as follows, effective immediately:

The mutamycete is on the loose in the swamp, and it'll keep mutating as it encounters new organisms. We can't allow the stock of medicine compounds to be exposed-if they suffer a mutation they'll be useless.

Transfer the whole anti-infective synthesizing station over to the paddle boat.

these are a bit better then what the connections were dealing with but still able to become useless if not careful

Analysis Report

We've finished analyzing the tissue samples believed to be from Jack Baker.

The cells exhibit an extraordinary resilience to physical and chemical damage; the E-Series mutamycete secretes a telomerase-like enzyme through the cell wall, causing abnormal activation of the ERK pathway to achieve forced cell division-quickly regenerating damaged tissue.

However, the repeated cell division quickly leads to breakdown in the intercellular structure, leading to the sloughing, slurry-like effect we've observed in the collected tissue samples. Our working hypothesis puts this down to the cells reaching their Hayflick limit.

Note that the samples from the other family members (the wife Marguerite, the son Lucas, and the daughter Zoe) do not exhibit the same extreme regenerative properties. The symptoms may differ from subject to subject. Further study required.

The Hayflick Limit is a real thing

how did they get the samples? what are the samples with Lucas and Marguerite its obvious as they're both dead. But what did they get from Zoe just some hair and/or dead skin? probably it had to be something of a size to be able to test how it regenerates and how can they tell what is regenerating? I wonder what else they learn from Zoe after she gets checked up? (did they take samples from Mia and Ethan? probably. I wonder what they found)

confirmation of what we know (report in salt mine)

#resident evil #ethan winters #mia winters #zoe baker #jack baker #daughters dlc #not a hero dlc #end of zoe dlc #joe baker #one day i will be consistent with tagging things #re talk #chris redfield #lucas baker #less analysis and more snark #hey that was thursday this year #hope you can see the colours #get evie to watch mitchells vs the machines that would be a fun thing for her #resident evil 7 #resident evil biohazard

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enzombie · 1 year

Note

I just finished season 4 and im. Im ruined. Ive already watched the show like 6 times btw but FUCK. GOD DAMN

Blaine being truly honest for the first time in as long as we've known him by telling angus he made the sign from god, only to get a reality check when his dad isnt as selfish and cowardly as he is, except thats such a mindfuck because his dad is a horrible awful child abusive son of a bitch, and it must have been so confusing to watch the church devour fraud bater under angus's orders. How eagerly angus watches blaines reaction, how he so hopes that makes up for everything, its sickening. Especially at the end of their arc where if i got it correctly, enzo sold them out? Told FMG they'd be coming and led them to a trap? And we saw angus and his flock get shot down. I cant help but feel bad for blaine

Peyton refusing to let FMG get away with moving up the time of the execution, marching into that studio and taking iver the broadcast, being the REASON people SHOWED UP at the warehouse and being right there with johnny fucking frost of all people, and ravi right by her side.

Major leaping over the crowd of soldiers to tackle chase, raging out completely and rightfully after all the shit he had to do for what he believed to be the right cause, only for the leader of that cause to spit in his face by trying to execute the love of his life. Because despite everything they still love eachother still and major is so goddamn pissed hes not gonna let another person murder his kids and get away ith it (even tho we saw so little of captain seattle i do not rememebr his actual name. Or jordans half the time)

Liv's stone cold expression at pulling the level and crushing chase's skull, and being so right about it too. Still tho, it wasnt enough to bring levon back, just like every time she tries to do the thing she thinks is right, someone she loves dies for it. When she tries to shoot blaine on sniper brain but cant, lowell tries to and gets killed. When she saves the chaos killer victims and clive from dying to a zombie, that zombie just had to be drake. When she tries to help human-zombie relations (misguidedly) and save lives by being renegade, she gets a front row seat to levons head being crushed. Her pain is so real idec chase is done with. It wasnt a good ending for her and i can feel that so clearly, even with that hopeful ending scene

My friend and I talked abour how selfish Liv can be when we started watching together (her first time), but how selfish can someone be when they give up the cure for their ailment twice for other peoples happiness?

And Chase. God. That entire decline during the latter half of the season was brutal. When thwy announced renegades execution and the video came out, he was done it was over, there was truly no coming back from this. He was so out of it at the point of the supporters breaking in that his voice cracks when he shouts at major to stop and when he says dont shoot and hes scrambling wildly for some form of control, in this case a gun that he places his head right on the gillutine. I think its a mercy that he died so painlessly.

At least Dale and Clive got a happy ending to the season though, getting married and getting the cure. Clive calling liv partner when they were saying goodbye in chase's office, it was just so bittersweet

Hope its okay that this is so long i just wanted to dump my thoughts onto someone ^^ this show is phenomenal i cant recover from this tonight.

DAMN. THATS A LOT OF WORDS. DAMN.

I uh idk how to respond to most of this cus there's so much but I'll try my best (also why this took so long to reply sorry)

Blaine is a mixed feelings character, he's a fan favourite and he's always enjoyable to watch. Angus on the other hand idk a single soul who likes that bitch. Say what you will about Blaine, but Angus was EVIL. Shout out to Enzo for killing him off fr. We are grateful. All my homies hate Angus.

Also Enzo didn't exactly sell them out, he more completely set them up - he went directly to Blaine and Angus to make sure they went the exact route, made sure he was there for all the final plans, he collaborated directly with the US military to get rid of Angus and his pals. Like it wasn't a split second betrayal it was a planned execution, he knew full well Angus would take the bait and was probably hoping Blaine would too. I'm not sure if it was even an official FG operation because as far as we know, Chase didn't hear anything back from Enzo about the church. He didn't tell the press his name, he was the only FG personnel there - I'm sus that he just took it upon himself to deal with them. King behaviour.

And yeah Peyton was girlboss at the end of season 4 but it's like. When her bestie in danger she got all this proactive shit but when she's acting mayor the energies like half that. Makes me mad.

As for major. Little sympathy. Oh did your child soldiers get killed? Maybe child soldiers are a bad idea? Maybe you wouldn't be upset if you didn't have children as soldiers in the first place? Maybe giving untrained children weapons is guaranteed to go badly and end with them injured or killed? Do you think? Like. Honestly. And the way he was with Levon. Major was weird in season 4 idk. And I disagree with them killing Chase. There's so many worse people in the show that she can't bring herself to kill but Chase she executes without hesitation. He wasn't even that bad. I don't think its very fair for him either. Like he was trying his best to keep Seattle under control, and renegade was actively making everything worse. And if you think he was doing a bad job what came after in season 5? With Major: terrorism and hatecrimes peaked and he did nothing, he made Seattle completely reliant on Blaine who (bless him) is not trustworthy and not a good person and is obviously going to be a controversy. With Enzo: the second he took over, Majors mistakes blow up and Seattle dealing with civil war. Not to mention Enzo isn't great at de-escalation, at any point - not even just when he's in charge, since his introduction he walks in and makes situations worse on purpose (can't help being a girlboss)

As for your question about Liv being selfish - it's shortsightedness. She'll do selfless things that make her feel good but she won't consider the consequences. Stuff like giving up the cure is fine, not really any consequences, she gets to help her friends. The renegade stuff, she gets to scratch sick people and feel good about it - but the whole of Seattle gets closer and closer to dying horribly every time she does. It's like only caring about what's directly in front of her. Irritates me a little tbh. Especially when she's one of the only zombies not experiencing the food shortage so it's just this whole privilege thing while thousands of people are at risk.

Clive and Bozzio are so precious I love them so much they deserve everything. That's all.

Anyway, hope you and your friend enjoy season 5✌️

#izombie

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mistresstaru · 1 year

Text

A post about chronic pain

I don’t usually write here, and I know no one will see this, but I need to post everywhere I can about this.

I’m 33 and have been dealing with chronic neck and back pain for almost two years. I’ve tried everything except surgery and drugs. Nothing. Has. Helped.

I’m autistic, and idk if this is an autistic trait, not I’m an all-or-nothing person. I need the pain to be cured. To go away. To be completely 100% healed. Having the pain go from a 7 to a 4 is not a win. Stupid physical therapists think it is, but it’s not.

I’ve been to the hospital 7 times in the past 1.5 years. I have been misdiagnosed with a UTI because doctors don’t know a fucking thing about interstitial cystitis, my other condition that refuses to heal. I have been denied care from neurologists, rheumatologists, orthopedists, chiropractors, and urgent cares. I have been gaslit, lied to, shamed, and bullied by the medical industry.

I cannot wrap my head around the fact that we carry more technology in our phones than a goddamn rocket ship, but they can’t cure pain? They can’t cure literally anything. Pills make you sick, fat, depressed, etc. Surgery is hit and miss. I don’t understand any of that.

I’m convinced that there ARE cures for things, but they have them in a vault somewhere and won’t let us have them. They make more money off of placebo treatments. They’d never actually cure us; there’s no money in it.

Doctors. Are. Shit. I’ve only had one doctor in my life that has been good. All of the rest can go fuck themselves. They do not care about your time. They do not care about your pain. All they want is your money, and since I have none, they don’t care about me. We don’t take your insurance, so we don’t care about you.

My insurance is absolute garbage. Their directory is outdated by 10 years. The phone numbers are wrong, and most of the doctors listed don’t take my insurance anymore or never took it. When I try to call the insurance, I have to go through twenty minutes of a robot voice before I can speak to a real person, which takes 30 minutes more. And guess what? They don’t know what they’re talking about. My insurance also doesn’t let me self-pay for appointments.

It takes too long to see doctors nowadays. There are too many people in the world and they’re all sick. Thanos was right. We need population control so that those who are alive can get care. You have pain? Can’t see a doctor for three months. Need an MRI? Well, it needs to be pre-certed, then certed, then wait a month to actually get it, then see a doctor about it, which is another month. That should NOT be how you do things!

I went to the hospital yesterday because my neck spasmed out AGAIN. The doc gave me a speech about exercise, diet, mind-body connection, etc. He said he’s been where I am and had surgery and it took him three years to recover from that surgery. He said opioids and weed aren’t the answer, either. So what the fuck am I supposed to do then? I can’t do the exercises I used to do and my antidepressants give me carb-cravings. I’ve done PT twice, saw an osteopath, tried reiki, crystals, exercise, TENS, patches, creams, pills. NOTHING WORKS. Oh, I get it, you want me to ACCEPT my pain? Well guess what, that’s NOT going to happen! I’ve accepted SO MANY OTHER AILMENTS in my fucking life: tinnitus, IC, acne, bad vision, being 30ish pounds overweight, and being short. Now, you want me to accept a herniated disc that not only hurts my neck, but my back, arms and legs as well? I can’t accept that. With IC, I’ve already had to cut out so many things that I love to eat, HEALTHY foods like pineapples, tomatoes, vinegar, soy, and chocolate. Now you want me to just eat lean meats and vegetables for the rest of my life? Not. Happening.

And I can’t stand up for myself. All I can do is cry and hide in my room like a baby. I can only stand up for myself in writing like this, so I write scathing reviews online. That’s all I can do. The US medical system needs to change. Why aren’t we doing anything about it? WHY? I’m in so much pain, and I know you are too! So how do we fix it? How do we make it right?

#chronic pain #back pain #interstitial cystitis #medical industry #health insurance #i hate doctors #all doctors can go to hell #doctors suck

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darkacademicfrom2021 · 3 years

Text

The Dark Team (part 5 S2)

<<Previous part Masterlist Next part>>

Warnings: abductions, kidnapping, forced unconsciousness, electroshocks (non explicit).

A/N: Listen. Listen. The chronologies... we already knew those were weird in this story and we accepted that. Now, we have to also accept the whole multiverse thingy being even more weird, because, yes, I'm mentioning OSCORP. Let's deal with it like mature people *screams into abyss of no return*.

“Your dirty little secret? Oh, come on. You gotta be kidding!”, exclaimed Steve, slamming the table. He immediately looked at you, “I’m sorry”.

He said sorry because it was three in the morning, Narfi was sound asleep and you all kept bickering about the coded message. You had peeped in your room several times, only to find, the first two times, Loki and your son reading in silence, each his own book, both neatly tucked under the same weighted blanket and Narfi's head resting on his father's shoulder. The third time, Narfi was asleep and Loki kept reading. The fourth, Narfi was all alone in the king-sized bed and Loki wasn't there. But he hadn't joined the meeting either.

Nobody could figure out what the dirty little secret was, and they all thought it was something Tony did. Like, you know, selling weapons.

“It’s okay, Steve. Listen, this is getting nowhere. And Loki should be here by now, where did you send him?”.

“I didn’t send him, he just… he said he needed to do something that had something to do with… could he have mentioned an old tutor?”, said Bucky, and you furrowed your brows.

“Is he in Asgard, now?”.

“I guess”.

You took your phone out, and tried to call him again, but he didn’t answer. There wasn't any phone signal in Asgard. Why would he go in there without saying anything?

“Look, all I’m saying is, the message was through JARVIS, and you’re the one with the most filthy secrets in here”, said Thor.

“Are you serious?”, spat Tony, pointing at Bucky. “This one was a hydra assassin”, pointing at Natasha “this one is an assassin”, pointing at Thor “we have no idea what’s going on with your thousand and half long life”, and finally pointing at you “there are no records whatsoever of anything you’ve done before my internship. So, no. I’m not the only one with the dirty secrets here. And, by the way, they’re dirty but public”.

“Yes. The billions you’ve won by selling weapons are very well known”.

“Shut your mouth”.

“Listen, this will get us nowhere. We could be in danger if we don't do something about this so if anyone is under any little suspicion of what a dirty secret they could be cultivating, this is the time to say it", you mediated, still calling Loki and getting directly to the voicemail.

"What could we possibly be having, Y/n?", asked Bruce tiredly.

"Any weird and innovative lab experiment? Something that could be used as a weapon? A disease? A cure? A mutation? Anything?", and you stopped on your words immediately. "Oh, no". As you opened your eyes widely, about to run to Narfi's room, Loki picked up the phone and you put it on speaker, pausing your fear. "Love! Where are you?".

Silence. Silence in the whole room, and a flickering light kind of sound. And then the unmistakable sound of a bad microphone on the other line, white noises, whispers to which you couldn't figure out the words.

"It's easy, really", said a rusty voice from the other side of the line. Everyone put on their best panic faces. You could feel your heartbeat on your throat. Not again. Not goddamn again, someone kidnapped one of you. This wasn't the kind of mission you wanted to join to get back on your feet. "You give us what we want, Mr. Stark, and we give you the man".

You looked at Tony and he huffed in frustration. He opened his mouth to speak, but on the background of the call you could hear Loki's unimpressed voice,

"The God. I'm not a man".

"Loki, are you okay? Can you hear me? Where are you?", you tried.

"I'm okay. These idiots think that they can…", he began saying, but a buzzing noise cut him off, along with a muffled screaming and something you figured was an electroshock took him out of the conversation.

"What do you want?", asked Stark. "Who are you?".

"We want money, Mr. Stark. A lot of it, to found our project", explained the voice. "And the other thing we need for the project. We could do with this one, but I'm sure you could give us a better sample".

"What is he talking about, Tony?".

"You think you can be more specific, dear?", asked Tony, losing his patience.

"Imagine a supersoldier, a superior being like that, but with ice powers, Mr. Stark. A man that's a mortal weapon itself", explained the kidnapper. "This one is particularly alright. But we will need a lot of him".

"What are you saying?".

"The frost giant. We want his blood".

They cut the conversation and Bucky grabbed your shoulder as you began to panic.

"Y/n, before jumping to this mission you should leave Narfi with someone strong enough to protect him", intervened Thor. You looked at him and sighed.

"Fine. Loki can't hear a word of this, alright?".

"Let it in my hands. I'll also ask Heimdall", he assured you and you squeezed his hand.

"Thank you", you told him, and traced the call. You did it in a few minutes and walked to Narfi’s room, to tell him where he would go. You wondered how you’d keep him calm. Usually Loki is the one that brought calmness to the situations, and this time around you had to be the one to keep calm and manage it all. You also wondered if he was capable of escaping on his own or if the kidnappers knew who they were dealing with and got him too restrained to run. Electroshocks. Loki’s weakness (anyone’s, really), so you guessed they knew better.

You knocked on Narfi’s door and he let you in with a flick of his wrist. Purple lights around the door made it disappear and he shifted his expressions from panic to disappointment really quickly.

“I’m so sorry, I…”, he began, but you walked hurriedly to him.

“Don’t worry about it, Narfi. Listen”, you said, and kneeled in front of him to reach his own height. You grabbed his tiny hand, and he paid close attention. “Daddy’s in trouble, and uncle Buck and I are going to help him come back home, alright? He’s fine, you don’t need to worry”, you explained the best you could.

“Can I come with, please, please? Daddy taught me things that could be useful, please?”.

“Don’t you wanna go with grandma, better?”, you smiled at him, hoping he’d accept and you wouldn’t have to take him against his wishes, “come on, darling, she wants to teach you some new tricks”.

Narfi smiled at those words and you sighed in relief.

“How long are you gonna take?”.

“I’m not sure. Couple of days at most”.

“Is daddy on a mission?”.

“Yeah”.

“Is he winning?”.

“I’m sure he is”.

“Is he cutting people with his new dagger?”.

“What do you mean new dag… wait, no, he’s not… hurting anyone, alright? Just… pack your things”.

“I hope he someday teaches me to throw knives like him”.

“Pack your toothbrush!”, you said from the door, and whispered to yourself, “dear Lord, I’m not letting Loki train at his sight again”.

As you left his room for him to get ready, you hurried your steps to meet the team. You tripped and fell over with someone’s leg. When you got up, hurting from the hit, you realized you tripped over Steve’s unconscious body. Looking around, the whole team seemed to have passed out completely.

“JARVIS!”, you called, your voice less calm than you would’ve liked to.

“Yes, Mx. Y/n?”.

“‘Yes, Mx. Y/n?’ What the hell happened here? Take their vitals!”, you rushed to Tony’s side and took his pulse. He seemed asleep. Just in case, you covered your nose and mouth with your sleeve.

“According to my database, they all seem to be in perfect condition. There might be some sort of a substance in the air. Should I alert Mr. Laufeyson as he comes back?”.

“Oh, God”, you realized.

Narfi.

You ran up to his room, knocking everything on your way to him. But as you didn’t even need to open an invisible door, you realized he wasn’t there. The room was completely empty.

Half an hour passed, and in the middle you ran all the way around the Tower, trying to unsuccessfully find your son hiding somewhere. But no, you were sure. You had already some theory of what could’ve happened to him and where he could be. And you didn’t like that idea at all. Oh, no. You much rather the Allfather keeping him forever than the alternative.

You poured a bit of the chemical mix you managed to prepare despite your trembling hands on the room’s vaporizer, and everyone began slowly recovering consciousness. Tony coughed up a blue liquid, and looked at it without much clue of what happened.

“Amitriptyline”, you told him, and he furrowed his brows. “In this dosage can make saliva blue, besides urine”, you explained what he hadn’t asked.

“But what for? I’m not depressed”.

“It’s for blocking whatever you’ve been given to get passed out. I know their tricks”, you vaguely explained, but, in all honesty, you really did not want to explain why you knew antidepressants blocked the effects of that substance.

“Their? What just happened?”.

“Where is my brother?!”, beamed Thor, ready to guilt him on it.

“This is not on Loki”, you said, taking a notepad out of your pocket and scribbling down some things while Bucky, Steve, Sam, Tony and Natasha got up and approached you cautiously. Thor began looking up, still trying to figure out if there was any of his brother’s magic involved. “They took Narfi. We have to act quickly, alright?”.

“Oh God, you’re not serious”, said Bucky, lowering his voice.

“They said… they said they wanted Loki’s blood”, recalled Natasha. “Loki’s blood, his heir. Not his actual blood”, she realized. You nodded.

“They want to mix human DNA with Jötun DNA and do that weird icy supersoldier mix, that terrible idea. That’s why they wanted Loki, to get his pure Jötun cells, and then get Narfi, to see how the chromosome pairs work. They want to experiment with my child”, you blurted out with your heart on your chest. “This, this right now, is an important mission. So we all better do this right now”.

“Wait, so what’s your plan of approach? Go to whatever place you think they are and go get them?”, said Steve. “I know you’re stressed and you have every right to be, but think. We need a plan”.

“We don’t need a plan, we need action, right now”, you said, unrecognizable words coming out of your mouth.

“Y/n”, mediated Tony. “Listen. We’ll figure it out. Rest of the team, to my office. You stay here and do not move even a hair, you hear me? You’re in no condition to get on board with this. Let us do this and you can help from a distance”.

“No way. There is no way you’re leaving me out of rescuing my own son”.

“Exactly because it’s your kid we’re talking about. Listen, a surgeon can’t operate on their own child. No, no. Don’t argue with me. Close your mouth. Barnes, make sure they don’t do anything stupid, wouldn’t you?”.

And with that, he left.

You and Bucky stayed in silence for about ten seconds, fidgeting with the notepad you had in between your fingers, ready to tear it to pieces out of anxiousness. After that, you said,

“Rescuing my child is not doing something stupid, right?”.

He shrugged and huffed out.

“I guess not. What’s your plan?”.

“Where would you go if you were a kidnapper with a very important child to perform very illegal experiments?”.

“I… don’t know”.

“I do”.

“What?”.

“Remember when you asked what my major was?”.

“Yes...?”.

“I… well, before the stark internship I worked in a very… odd place, it made experiments. Genetic experiments. The famous OSCORP, you know the place. They were the ones doing all the spider shit and Peter got bit by a spider in there. I worked there, and there was something that… never added up. The experiments grew worse and worse, more immoral, more dangerous. I couldn’t take them anymore and I left without leaving a trace of me in the public eye. Or so I thought”.

“You think your kid might be in OSCORP?”.

“I’m afraid so”.

“No more waiting then, let’s get the motorbike”.

“Shouldn’t we alert the team?”.

“What, so they can go by themselves, without you, without a plan and without your knowledge about that place? Besides, Loki is already in there, right?”.

“You’re the voice of reason, sometimes, Barnes”, you said, tossing him a pair of keys and his jacket. And with that, you two headed to OSCORP without warning.

(Taglist: @lucywrites02 , @louieboo87 @the-departed-potato , @jesuswasnotawhiteman , @idontknow296 , @beksib , @spythoschei , @geekwritersworld , @whatafuckingdumbass , @mysticunicorn7 @shadowolf993 , @joscelyn02 , @t00-pi , @selfship-mishaps , @sallymagnoliaposts , @deadgirl88 , @theonewiththenerds , @vicmc624 , @spiderlaufeyson )

#Loki #loki fic #loki fanfic #loki series #loki oneshot #loki laufeyson #loki x y/n #loki x you #loki laufeyson x you #loki x reader #loki x gn reader #loki laufeyson x reader #loki imagine #loki ragnarok #the dark team season 2 #the dark team #bucky barnes #tony stark #iron man

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starlessskies94 · 3 years

Text

Consequence (Joel Miller x OC)

Summary: What if Joel survived his injuries from the Abby and Fireflies attack but ends up with really bad amnesia. He can’t remember his wife, Ellie, or the Outbreak; only before. How will his family bring back the man they once knew?

Pairing: Joel Miller x OC

Note: Hope you enjoy the chapter; please leave a comment and let me know what you think <3

Chapter Eight

It all started with a note.

The next they were hightailing across the damn state, all the way back to where their deep dark mess of secrets and lies had started. There was no time to stop and question why Ellie had gone back; there was no need. They already knew. The poor girl was simply looking for answers that everyone else had refused to give her.

The closer they got; the worse their fear became. The dread pulling tighter up the throat like a noose around the neck. It was like riding towards their own execution for the terrible crime they’d committed, of robbing the whole world of something they didn’t believe they even deserved. Because they didn’t. Not at the expense of Ellie’s life.

Even now after everything; Joel and Adaline would always agree on that.

When they finally made it to the outskirts of the hospital; Ellie was sitting alone. The pair barely bother to halt their horses before dismounting and rushing to their daughter’s side. Joel quickly pulling her into a hug.

“The hell were you thinkin’? Joel uttered. Taking the words right out of Ada’s mouth as she moved to join the two. “Running off in the middle of the night like that…you talk to us.” He continued. “You don’t just leave a goddamn note-“ He didn’t get to finish as Ellie pushed him away.

And Ada knew this was it. Their time had run out and now there was no going back.

The teenager paced on unsteady feet; her hands fidgeting with her jacket sleeves before finally getting too frustrated and just pushing them back up passed her elbows. It was a common habit Ellie had picked up as she’d gotten older; they’d both noticed. Whenever Ellie was stressed, uncomfortable, nervous or upset; she would fidget with her hands. Whether it was pulling on jacket sleeves, picking at her nails or just absentmindedly running her fingertips across the now hidden bite mark on her arm. Just as Joel did with his watch. It was always fascinating to Ada how much Ellie could be like Joel without even realising it.

Over the years; the girl had picked up a lot of the man’s mannerisms. Like father, like daughter she supposed. Unfortunately that also meant she had Joel’s temper. And it was certainly a force to be reckoned with.

The girl continued pacing, almost not daring to look back at her parents. Her mind racing a mile a minute as she contemplated what to say. How to string her words together. The endless list of questions that plagued her for years.

‘What happened to the Fireflies?’

‘Why had Ada and Joel lied about it for so long?’

‘Was Marlene dead?’ Ellie had a bad feeling she already knew the answer to that one; it had always been an assumption she sort of accepted, considering how loyal the leader had been to her cause. If she had threatened the young girl in any way in order to get her cure; Ellie knew for a fact her mom wouldn’t hesitate to cut her down. Or maybe Joel had killed her; it didn’t really matter now. The Fireflies were gone and so was their precious cure.

She just needed to know why. Looking back at the rotting ruins of the Hospital; Ellie finally settled on her words before turning to face her family.

“Tell me...what happened here.” She started with a shaken breath. Resisting the urge to pull her sleeves again as hands began to tremble once more. “If you lie to me one more time, I’m gone. You will never see me again.” She took a breath and it caught in her throat. The air thick and tense, Joel and Ada staring blankly at her with sad eyes.

“But if you tell me the truth, I’ll go back to Jackson.” She promised. “No matter what it is.” It was at that point as her parents shared a look; that Ellie realised she had no idea just what she was promising.

Her mother took a reluctant step towards her and Ellie had to stop herself from flinching.

“I...uh…” Ada stuttered, clearing her throat several times before trying to speak again.

“Mom...just say it.”

The older woman glanced back at Joel as he nodded woefully. Ada turned back to her daughter; her brown eyes welling with tears.

“Making a vaccine...would have killed you. So we stopped them.” She said, gesturing to herself and Joel. The older man dropping his eyes to the floor as the shame flooded his face.

Ellie’s blood ran cold. She gasped out a strangled sob that burst from her throat as it burned. She felt sick. Her chest tight and heavy. The weight pushing down so deep she couldn’t breath. How dare they?

HOW FUCKING DARE THEY?!

Taking such a choice away from her! Taking away the chance for her immunity to mean something. To make the losses mean something. Her pain mean something. But they had decided to take her away from all that and it wasn’t fair that she’d had no say in any of it.

She collapsed letting herself sit atop an old box, old equipment the Fireflies had left behind maybe? She didn’t fucking care anymore. She pulled at the front of her shirt in a feeble attempt to give herself room to breathe. But her chest continued to tighten. Her airway closing around the lump forming in her now dry throat. Her eyes streamed with tears, blurring her vision.

“Oh my god…” She choked. Her hand clutching her chest as her breath became quick and short. Her stomach churned; hands and feet turning cold and numb.

“Ellie...sweetheart…” The voice was echoed and distant. But she flinched when her mom reached out to console her. Her whole body snapping to her feet as she pulled away. Her hand lashing out to shove her back.

“Don’t you fucking touch me!” She snapped. Ada's lower jaw quivered as she held back her own tears. The hurt was plain and raw in her eyes looking back to Ellie. “I’ll go back, but you and me...we’re done!” She screamed, her eyes narrowing at both Joel and Ada. Ada gasped a sob of her own as she took a cautious step towards her daughter but Ellie was already backing away. “Ellie...please.” She pleaded. “Just let us explain.” The teen scoffed bitterly; she wasn’t interested in anything they had to say. Her nostrils flared in anger, her lip snarled as she shook her head in defiance.

“I don’t fucking care! I hate-”

“Hey! Stop! That’s enough!” Ellie's eyes darted to Joel raising his voice as he moved to stand beside his wife, his arms wrapping around her shoulders. Pulling her close as she buried her face into his side.

“Don’t do that. You wanna hate someone for this? You hate me, okay?” He clarified and somehow the audacity of Joel only made her angrier. “Don’t put this on your mother. It ain’t her fault.”

Again Ellie scoffed bitterly. How dare he tell her how to feel. Who to blame. They were both at fault for this. She’d trusted them and this was what they’d done?! How could she ever see them in the same way again. “Are you fucking kidding me Joel?!”

The man sighed heavily, Ada wiping away her stray tears as she looked back at her daughter with bloodshot eyes. Joel was quiet for a second, his eyes flitting back between Ada and Ellie before he finally spoke. “I pulled the trigger, not your mom. You wanna blame anyone then you blame me. Please don’t punish her.” He uttered pathetically. His whole body seemed to sag with sadness and Ellie felt sick the longer she looked at him, she didn’t even bother dignifying his plea with an answer as she shoved passed him and headed back towards Shimmer. Not even bothering to spare them a glance as she mounted and forcefully spurred the horse into a canter and rode away back towards Jackson without another word.

Ada and Joel watched her go. Both feeling defeated and tired.

The Texan glanced back to his wife when she slid her hand into his and squeezed gently. “You didn’t have to do that.” She whispered. “I wished you hadn’t.” Joel felt his heart ache at the broken look on her face. Her nose and eyes rubbed red from her tears, Her face slightly puffed from the lack of sleep they’d lost from riding through the night to find Ellie. He softly kissed her forehead before dropping his gaze to meet hers.

“If she has to lose one of us...I’d rather it was me.” He said. “She needs her mother if she’s gonna get through this.” Ada sighed, collapsing against his chest as her exhaustion caught up with her. “She needs you too.” She muffled into his jacket. “We both do.”

He ran a hand through her hair as he hugged her close. In that moment it hit him just how grateful he was for this woman in his arms. He often thought about his life before Ellie and Adaline and he didn’t like it. There had been no way of knowing how things were going to play out the way they had when they’d met in Boston, but Joel knew without a doubt he wouldn’t have changed a thing. This was a life he’d happily choose over and over. At the beginning after losing Sarah, Joel had given up on the idea of family and love. After losing her, there was no getting it back. But then they’d come barrelling into his life...literally. Ada, eager to protect the young fourteen year old from the strange man forcing his way through the door, with Ellie in toe ready to strike with her pocket knife to protect her then mother figure from harm. If anyone had told him he would then go on to marry this woman, he’d have called them insane. Now he couldn’t imagine life without her. He didn’t think he could live without her. He didn’t want to.

He squeezed her tight as her own arms found their way around his waist squeezing back in return.

“Don't worry about me; I ain’t going anywhere darlin’.” He looked down kissing her then let his hands run the length of her arms, taking her hands in his, walking her towards the grazing horses. “Come on, let's head home.”

Ada didn’t reply as she followed, the two quickly climbing back on and turning towards the same path Ellie had taken. Their horses breaking into a gentle trot. They rode in silence, both afraid of the fall out that awaited them when they returned to Jackson. Tommy and Maria would want to know what happened. If they hadn’t already noticed they were gone, Joel wasn’t looking forward to that conversation. He figured Tommy would understand but he was pretty certain, he hadn’t told Maria the whole story yet. He stole a glance back towards Ada as she rode beside him. But she just looked utterly broken. Her eyes set dead ahead of them, hands gripping her reins like a vice and legs rigid from the panic she’d woken up to in the night; when they'd found Ellie had disappeared. Joel looked back at the path before them. It would be a long ride back to Jackson. He just hoped and prayed that given some time and space...maybe...hopefully; Ellie would eventually understand why they’d done what they had done. And if he was lucky she might even forgive him for it.

#joel miller #joel and ellie #joel x reader #joel x oc #joel miller x oc #joel miller x reader #the last of us #the last of us part 2 #the last of us part ii #starlessskies writes

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khaleesiofalicante · 2 years

Note

THE WAY I LAUGHED WITH THIS FIC OMG JDHSJS I'M SO HAPPY FOR THIS CRACK

Honestly, we deserved it because tldn will break us with no mercy jdhdkdid, some rainbow before the storm (no, I dont care that is supposed to be the other way round)

Also, although I will try to keep this short, this will probably be a REALLY LONG ask so beware!! 💙

My man is so gay and so in love with Magnus kdhdkskja

Procastinating your feelings its no good my friends, I KNOW IT!!!

CLACE AND SIZZY RIGHTS ONLY 😎😎

"Hold on. Technically it’s not a lie. It’s an omission. So, it’s fine." Me, every time i lie...

Hold the fuck on. THE WAY YOU INTRODUCED TSC IS LITERALLY FLAWLESS!!

THIS GANG IS SO PRECIOUS OK?!?!

"If this is the only way he would have Magnus as a part of his family, then Alec didn’t mind." Bro can you not??!?

Magnus IS magic

"An empire built by a bunch of unhinged chaotic nerds." is this not tmi gang every time?? Ok but honestly this made me emo for some reason 😭

I LOVE YOU FOR MAKING THIS!!!

"He has always liked warlocks the best." *smirks* yeah, no shit...

I LOVE MARYSE AND ROBERT SO MUCH 🥺

Max would be obssesed with Magnus and we all know it!!!

“I like his name. It’s a good name. His parents gave him the name.” You are shit at this Alec

Is god real??? “I removed them from the call,” says Izzy – the only god he will ever worship. (OMG JSVSKDVSJ SAME ALEC!!)

“Fanfiction is the cornerstone of modern literature,” PREACH MAN

“Kidding. My presentation is immaculate and formatted as fuck. Because I get shit done.” As someone once wrote, women get shit done.👀

Magnus you fucking oblivious idiot!!!

I honestly support Jace's puns kdhdhjdjs

Izzy is scary but ok...also I need that pic!!!

"What Alec wants is for Magnus to have everything his heart desires. He just wishes he was one of those things too." MY FEELS!!

“Magnus Bane saves the day again!” as always

You are wrong tho...it IS a fanfic. Quite literally

“I don’t know,” Magnus shrugs. “You’re just the kind of guy who goes after what he wants.” Not really. He is the kind of guy to pine after what he wants for 12 goddamn years. (who says you cant so both?)

The times Alec says or thinks “Wait. What?” and "Alec wants to kiss him." in this fic is so funny and so valid of him

"Okay, that sounded way less creepy in his head" kdjjsksjsjsk I'm dying over here

"Alec ignores that comment. Magnus is always complimenting his face or his eyes or his body or hair. It doesn’t mean anything." I'M GOING TO FUCKING KILL YOU MAN. HE LOVES YOU!!!

Jace and Clary are married. My life is complete. My skin cleared. My mind cured💙💙

HOLY SHIT THESE TWO MAN ARE SO FUCKING DUMB. YOU BOTH LIKE OTHER FOR GOD'S SAKE

Malec here be like: I am secretly in love with him. Let me think poetry about him and his wonderful personality and beautiful looks and pin for him BUT NEVER MAKE A MOVE (I know I am in no position of judging, but at the same time i dont care😂)

MAGNUS STOP YOU ARE KILLING HIM!! Really??? Sitting on his lap and then buring your face on his neck and LICKING HIM AND kissing his check and talking pictures??? You might as well shot him!! (it was honestly soooo cute tho🥺)

“You already have like seven of those.” but of course that doesn't mean anything to him 🙂

“Uh,” Magnus looks embarrassed. “I don’t actually have one.” (I bet it was so something like: make Alec fall in love with me jdhdjdjd)

Ok, really quick: I'm on a family meeting and my parents and uncles are talking shit about my sister and cousin, which pisses me of but I don’t want to speak bc then they give me a 3 hour lecture about how they are right and we (sister, cousin and me) are wrong

But they tell me: "Dont be like them" be less problematic, etc, etc... And I'm there like: "honey, you got a big storm coming" 😂😂 Idk, its so funny every time they tell me things like that bc I AM HERE, I AM QUEER AND I WILL RAISE CHAOS SOMEDAY

Ok, back to this:

Jace and Izzy have no business judging!!! They are also a waking disaster each!!!

"Magnus, for someone who acts like he doesn’t care about the opinions of others, does have a pathological need to be liked by people, so it kinda checks out." I relate to him so much right now...

"Alec had gotten it framed and given it to Magnus when he got his first salary." bro, dude, homie, man.... CAN YOU NOT??

OMG I SEE WHERE ALEC GOT HIS OBLIVIOUS SELF!! MARYSE AND ROBERT ARE THE SAME!!

The intimacy of the "Can you take out the trash?" and "You’re home!" is my will to live. Feel you Alec...

“You’ll figure it out,” he tells the other man gently. “I know,” Magnus sighs softly. “I just don’t like the part where I am not figuring it out. (ok but this is so relatable!!)

Superheroes debates and teasing Simon is so valid of them

MAGNUS IS THE ONLY RIGHT ANSWER AS HIGH WARLOCK AND THEY KNOW IT!! quite literally...

YESS TO THE DESIGN CLARY I LOVE YOU!!

“Because I can’t think of anything more magical than you.”💙💙💙💙

The are the cutest when they sleep I just know it!!

"Well shit. If it isn’t the bridge he said he’ll cross when he gets there." LITERALLY ME EVERYTIME I PROCASTINATE ON SOMETHING!!

Omg the breast scene jdhdisbsj (without context that sounds weird)

Dark hair and blue eyes yesss!!!

“If you wanna reach heaven, you gotta die first.”...idk how...but that makes sense...and its so inspiring....

THEM>>>>

FOR FUCKS SAKE WOMAN!! WHY/HOW ARE YOU SO FUNNY????

HE LOOKS SO FUCKING GOOD OMG IF ALEC DOESN'T PASS OUT I WILL!!

“You, uh, look nice,” UNDERSTAMENT OF HISTORY AND YOU KNOW IT ALEC!!

Fuck gender stereotypes indeed. Go off, babe!!

"The entire world must know and see the beauty and magic of Magnus Bane" Never agree on something more 😌

The way Catarina, Ragnor, Raphael and Magnus meet on every au is always so interesting

Magnus's mother seems great!! I already love her with my soul <33

I wanna have a chat with everyone who ever treated Magnus wrong 🔪🔪🔪

THEY ARE SO CHAOTIC AND I'M 100% HERE FOR IT!!!

I was scared about Max finding out for a sec, ngl.

Maryse is talking to Magnus's mother. I just KNWO IT!!

“Clary, babe,” Jace sighs. “Stop tiptoeing around him.” “In her defense, she is really small,” Alec CHUCKLES. (Jshsijsjs please)

“How very gay," I ws about to make the same joke!! Not fair!!

Max is an astrology bitch (affectionate) and we know it!!

I need to know what Magnus is thinking ok?!?!

“Thank you,” she says, her voice a whisper. “For making my Alec so happy.” PARALLEL MY BELOVED💙

“Business idea,” Alec says. “A bar where you can get drunk in your sweatpants, and no one will judge you.” *sips wine* I'm listening...

The trope of doing each othe's make up gets me every time 🥺🥺

"Alec knows since he is technically rejected by Magnus every day. But damn it if he doesn’t love watching other people in his position." He is savage af😂

“Can you believe he had the audacity to flirt with my fake boyfriend?” RIGHT?? So disrespectful smh

Alec here be like: Well, mark me fow as sad and horny :)

I cant with him covered in glitter hdjdjsjkska

“Then what do you put on your face?” “Uh,” Alec says. “Soap.” (this whole scene had me laughing so hard omg😂😂😂)

“Unless it’s a bunch of paintings of me,” Alec laughs nervously. “Then that’s creepy. And I am getting out of here.” (I feel this is a call out to jemma from you...)

HE WANTS TO GO HOME 😭😭🥺

"Alec listens to all of it. And somehow, he misses the home too." THIS. THIS IS SOME GOOD SHIT RIGHT HERE 💙💙💙

Alec has no chill and I'm not complaining. "My fake boyfriend is sad. Better book him a ticket to his home asap"

That hug felt so personal for some reason

"Goddamn, these moms and their Facebook accounts!" They are dangerous and should be feared of...

THEY GO TOGETHER! Softest. Shit. Ever

SAROJA🥺🥺🥺🥺 THATS THE CUTEST

I love her. I will give up my life for her and thats very reasonable of me

Me @ Alec with the one bedroom: Youuuu, clearly didnt think this through🎶

“He once told me he wants to get married at the beach,” AND HE WILL JDJDBDJSK

“Have you ever seen something so beautiful that it makes you wonder how the hell it’s real?” Alec looks at Magnus then. “I think that every day actually.” (they take saying romantic shit and pin if to the next level)

"How am I supposed to draw a secret?” “Then don’t draw it,” she shrugs. “Some things are meant to be a secret.” ( She is so wise and lovely and strong and-)

“Thank you,” she whispers to him. “For making my Magnus so happy.” MORE PARALLELS!!

STFU ALEC SHE KNOWS WHAT SHE IS SAYING!! Just some minutes ago you were talking about how mothers really knew their children and you are right ok?!?

He drive hours to take a picture bc Magnus wanted to paint it and I'm still accepting less?!?! What is wrong with me??

ITS HAPPENING!! THEY ARE KISSING!! YESS!! I HAVE WAITED FOR THIS AND HERE IT IS AND HSVSJHS OMG OMG OMG

"But maybe he wished too hard because he is literally flying right now. He is thousands of feet up in the air when Magnus kisses him for the first time." THIS IS SOME NEXT LEVEL ROMANTIC SHIT NDBDJDMNS💙💙💙💙

Seriously????? YOU DUMB IDIOTS!!! I CANT. IMMA HEAD OUT OR I WILL CATCH HIS STUPID VIBES HOLY SHIT

Simon you smart babe. The only one with common sense it seams...

“My friend texted me that he fucked up big time, so I decided to stay home and take care of him.” ISNT HE THE CUTEST???? 🥺🥺

He is so sexy for giving advice he would definetly not follow <33

“Look. It’s your super-hot fake boyfriend who has no feelings for you whatsoever.” jdbdidisj why do we forget how awesome and sassy Simon really is?!?

He wears the Lightwood ring!!! 🥺🥺

God I also love Izzy so much. DONT YOU WANT TO MARRY ME?? Wait. I also want to marry Simon.... Shit. *screams is bi panic*.

“Because I wanted the High Warlock to have it,” Magnus replied, his eyes to the floor. “Even if I can’t.” YOU ADORABLE SUPID SHIT

“You stupid idiot!” Magnus glares. “Of course, I am in love with you.” (I think I've seen this film before, and I LOVE HOW IT ENDED! 🎶)

“I am ridiculously in love with you too.” COMMUNICATION FINALLY!!!! YESS!! I AM LOVE THIS!!

“You can keep it,” Alec chuckles. “I’ll get you something prettier soon enough.” ALEC YOU HAVE NO CHILL JDHDISJS

Cant find flaws in that logic...

HOLY SHIT I'M SO HAPPY JDJDJDJJS GO OFF DUDES HONESTLY!! I LOVE YALL!!

I will cheer for the launching going great!!!

They forgot to tell them 😂😂

“I want to know everything!” Jace beams. “How about no?” Magnus pokes out his tongue. (its their dinamic for me y ou r honor!!!)

FOR FUCKS SAKE JACE!! THEY SAID REASONABLE EXCUSE!! NOT ONE MORE PROBLEM JDJDJDJD

Omg Dani.... You CAN write something without angst!! Congrats!! Ndjdksbsisj

No, but seriously it was so great and I loved ever part!! The fluff, the mutual pining, the love... *all cheef kisses of the world*💙💙💙

Thank you for sharing this wonderful story!!! I took an entire day to read it!! Obviously with many interrumptions 😂

See ya!!! Its 4 a.m and I need to get the fuck to sleep now. Will come back later to see the chaos of the other asks!!!

Take care and remember to take a break in a while 💚💚

AHHHH THANK YOU. I’m glad I made you feel 😂🥰😂🥰😂🥰😂🥰

Your reactions are always priceless lmao. I am love them 🥺🤭

Also omg I get your bit about families. Like all these uncles and aunties always shit talk each other and I’m like “aren’t y’all related to them stop being mean and weird smh”

Anyway I’m wishing you more serotonin this week 😘😘😘

#fake dating au

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heauxplesslydevoted · 3 years

Note

Hi there! We're changing things up a little this week :)

Not Yet Wed Questions

Note: Great Scott! This week, we are going back in time to MC’s intern year. Think of Ethan’s relationship with them at this point and answer the following questions accordingly. It is entirely up to you when in year 1 this takes place (pre/post Miami, pre/post CH 15, etc). Feel free to answer with dialogue or pictures or both :) Have fun!

No worries. All of this is off the record and HR will never know!

The setting for this answers is:

For Both

When I first saw them, I thought__________

What is your coworker's most used swear word?

Quick: What color are their eyes?

Three people at work your coworker hates?

What is your coworker’s strangest or most endearing quirk?

If they had a crush on anyone at work, who would that be?

(Bonus round! Feel free to skip.)

Never have I Ever:

come into work hungover

had a fistfight

been kicked out of a bar

gotten a tattoo

broken someone’s heart

been in love

For MC (Ethan is not there)

Where do you see him in five years (both professionally and in his personal life?)

What do you find the most impressive about him?

Last thing he texted you?

If he asked you out on a date, what would you say?

For Ethan (MC is not there)

Where do you see him in five years (both professionally and in his personal life?)

What specifically do you find attractive about her?

Last thing she texted you?

If she asked you out on a date, how would you respond?

Alright, post Book 1 but pre-Ethan fleeing to South America Ethan x Naomi coming right up! I feel like that time would have maximum tension because they’re trying to find their footing again after fucking the souls out of each other’s bodies and sending them into orbit, and lowkey falling in love sleeping together, while maintaining professionalism.

~v~

For Both:

When I first saw them, I thought__________

Naomi: I thought “thank God someone else is here!” I was in over my head with that patient, and I didn’t even notice that The Ethan Ramsey was the one assisting me until much later.

Ethan: I thought she had guts. You don’t see too many first day interns that are ready to jump into the fray like she did.

What is your coworker's most used swear word?

Naomi: He says Christ and any iteration of the word damn. Dammit, goddamn, goddammit, you get the gist.

Ethan: She says fuck.

Naomi: You’ve never heard me say that.

Ethan: She says fuck a lot, especially when she’s...*Ethan trails off and catches himself before he finishes that sentence. It’s a moot point all the same because now all he can think about is the young intern in front of him, hands pulling his hair, nails raking down his back, moaning the obscenity into his ear, into his pillows. He awkwardly clears his throat* Just trust me, I’ve heard her say it. Multiple times.

*and now he’s mad at himself*

Quick: What color are their eyes?

Naomi: Blue. They’re kinda hard to miss.

Ethan: Her eyes are brown.

Three people at work your coworker hates?

Naomi: He hates everyone, except for me and Naveen.

Ethan: Except for you? You think pretty highly of yourself, Rookie.

Naomi: Am I wrong? *Ethan doesn’t deny it, instead staying silent and Naomi smirks* Exactly

Ethan: I don’t think she dislikes anyone. I’ve never met a person like her, she makes friends with everyone.

What is your coworker’s strangest or most endearing quirk?

Naomi: He fiddles with his glasses a lot.

Ethan: She’s constantly biting her lip, especially when she’s really focused.

*she’s actually surprised that he picked up on that* Naomi: You notice that?

Ethan: I notice everything...about everything. It’s the nature of the job.

If they had a crush on anyone at work, who would that be?

*they both share an awkward glance before looking away and declining to answer*

Never Have I Ever...

Come into work hungover

Ethan: When I was younger, yes. But now that I’m older, I know my limits.

Naomi: No, because I don’t get hangovers due to my magical hangover cure.

Ethan: That god-awful drink is...surprisingly effective.

*the interviewer asks Ethan to elaborate on the time Naomi gave him whatever her hangover cure is, and he adamantly refuses*

Had a fistfight

Naomi: Yes, but in my defense I was drunk.

Ethan: *snorts* How is that a defense?

Naomi: I’m the daughter of an attorney, I usually try to resolve my issues with my words. But drunk Naomi is a little feistier.

Ethan: You mean you have a level of feistiness that I’ve yet to see?

Naomi: Oh yeah. Anyway, I was in college, I was drunk at a bar, someone spilled a drink on me, and it escalated. I think I broke her nose.

Ethan: An arrest record wasn’t on your file when we hired you.

Naomi: Like I said, I’m the daughter of an attorney, and the granddaughter of a DC judge. That has its perks.

Ethan: Yes, I’ve gotten into a fist fight before. I punched Nash in the face. And before that, i fought my old med school roommate.

Naomi: Ooh, what did he do?

Ethan: That’s not a story I’d ever divulge while sober.

Been kicked out of a bar

Naomi: Yes. Circle back to the previous question.

Ethan: No, because I’m an adult.

Gotten a tattoo

Ethan: Absolutely not

Naomi: I have a tattoo of the Cancer symbol on my left hip. It’s my zodiac sign.

*this stuns Ethan into silence because he’s seen her naked on more than one occasion and been...very well acquainted with the body parts below her waist, and for the life of him cannot remember a tattoo*

Broken someone’s heart

Naomi: No. At least, I don’t think so. I’ve had my heart broken, if that counts.

Ethan: Same as Naomi. I don’t think I have.

*they make a pointed effort to not make eye contact with each other, and Naomi bites down on her lip, letting the silence hang in the air. The alternative would be informing Ethan that he has indeed broken someone’s heart, and that just won’t do.*

Been in love

Naomi: I don’t know. Maybe? I thought I was in love with my med school boyfriend, but now that time has passed, I know that wasn’t love. At least, not the good kind. And there was a near miss after him, but nothing came out of it. The emotions were a lot stronger the second time around though, and i think it’s the closest I’ve come to it this far. I’m a hopeless romantic, so I hope I find it someday.

Ethan: No. Call me a cynic, but I just don’t see love as something that’s feasible and attainable. Putting that much trust and dependency in another person is not realistic.

For Naomi (Ethan is not there)

Where do you see him in five years (both professionally and in his personal life?)

Naomi: I don’t know what’s left for a man like Ethan Ramsey. He’s already done so much in the field of medicine, unless he reinvents the entire wheel and turns it upside down, which I can see him doing. I can see him writing more, publishing more research, and of course winning more awards. If he wasn’t so anti-administration, he could be running this place. Or maybe he’ll start his own non-profit.

Naomi: As far as his personal life, I don’t know. You heard loud and clear that he doesn’t really believe in love. I hope one day he changes his mind or finds a companion, because underneath his extremely prickly exterior, he’s one of the best men I know and he has a heart of gold. He deserves the chance to let someone take care of it for him.

What do you find the most impressive about him?

Naomi: From afar, Ethan seems very larger than life, but I think the most impressive thing about him is his dedication to not just medicine, but his patients. I’ve never seen him not go above and beyond for someone he was treating.

Last thing he texted you?

Naomi: “Please consult Diana in HR regarding your official diagnostic team fellowship application. I know this year has been unorthodox to say the least, but there are still some steps that must be taken before the start of your second year. Thank you.”

Naomi: I’ve never received a text message that long.

If he asked you out on a date, what would you say?

*her cheeks heat up furiously and she pulls her bottom between her teeth before answering, her eyes bright and watery*

Naomi: Am I a total glutton for pain for saying I’d jump at the chance?

For Ethan (Naomi is not there)

Where do you see her in five years (both professionally and in her personal life?)

Ethan: Dr. Valentine has so much potential and she’s going to be one of the greats. She’s going to be running the diagnostics team if she chooses to stay at Edenbrook, and I can’t see Naveen not trying to keep her here. She’s going to win awards, have awards named after her, publish research, lead trials, whatever. I hate to sound banal and cliche, but the sky really is the limit for her. I chose her for a reason, and I plan her helping her reach all of that potential.

Ethan: As for her personal life, I don’t know. Hopefully she finds someone that’s good enough for her.

What specifically do you find attractive about her?

Ethan: A-attractive? *the word comes out in a squeak, but he coughs to cover it up* Why on earth would you assume that I’m attracted to her?

*he goes on a ridiculously long tangent about how inappropriate it is to be attracted to your coworkers, especially your subordinates, and how he would never jeopardize Naomi’s career on something as trivial as attraction, and anyone with an ounce of common sense can tell that he doth protest too much*

Ethan: But if I absolutely had to pick something besides her good looks, it’d be her spirit. She’s warm and empathetic and optimistic, and I’ve never seen someone care as much as she does.

Last thing she texted you?

Ethan: “👍” I sent her a message about her upcoming fellowship and she sent back a thumbs up. Just that. I was a little annoyed.

If she asked you out on a date, how would you respond?

Ethan: As um...flattering as that might be, I would say no. I am an attending, she’s an intern, my soon to be fellow. That is crossing too many ethical lines, lines I refuse to breach.

Ethan: And I would say no because Naomi is...just a good person. And maybe I’m being biased, but I don’t know if anyone will ever be truly worthy of her. But I can say without a shadow of a doubt that she deserves so much better than me or what I could give her.

#ethan ramsey #ethan ramsey x mc #newlyweds game with your host bree

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disgruntledspacedad · 3 years

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Ezra!!

First impression

Prospect was one of the first of Pedro's films that I watched (I don't think I'd even gotten very far into Narcos at the time), and I remember straining to catch his voice. I knew from the plot summary that Ezra was a character that I'd enjoy, and I was very eager for him to actually get on the goddamned screen already.

My expectations were confirmed and exceeded during that first scene. I was blown away, both by the Ezra's writing, and by Pedro's flawless delivery of some very tough lines. I thought, oh, man, this is a lovable scoundrel with questionable morals who is obviously ooey-gooey soft inside -- the very best type of character, in my opinion.

I also remember thinking to myself, oh, okay, Pedro is ridiculously talented (the original question that had prompted me to seek out roles other than Mando).

Overall, the impression was very favorable.

Impression now

Oh gosh, Ezra is one of my favorite Pedro characters, and absolutely his most underrated performance.

I love Ez. I think he's a sweetheart who's been hardened by a hard life, a true survivor, and probably a closet academic. Boy just wants to live a peaceful life in a small village somewhere, surrounded by books and fluffy cats, but fate keeps ass-fucking him with no lube.

Also, everybody I know ships us, so there's that. Power Couple!!

Favorite moment

Probably when he's legit considering selling Cee to those weird cultist dudes. Don't you dare try to tell me that he's not thinking about it -- or at the very least, thinking of a way to get her back once he's done it.

Idea for a story

Lol, besides SALT?

You are the chief medical officer on a government funded rescue mission to recover a missing research team. A prominent Bausian (sp??) Conservatory scientist had taken to the Dark Reaches in search of what the Fringers call "juice" -- a mythical, medicinal plant extract rumored to cure any illness. For years, the scientific community on Central had dismissed these rumors as delirium induced fantasies, but now, whispers of a legit discovery are floating through the newsfeeds, and you and your team have been dispatched to uncover the truth and rescue the missing researchers.

This is your first big break in your career, and you couldn't be more excited (or apprehensive) to save lives with an entire medical team under your command.

aaaand, I'll be cutting this here -- I call this one The Ezra Epic for a reason:

On the day you're set to embark, a stranger appears on the shuttle, claiming the role of security officer. He seems friendly enough, and nobody seems to bat an eye, except you. There's something about him that you don't trust. You know the man who he'd replaced through your late father, and find it extremely unlikely that a sudden family emergency would have pulled him from his assignment. Plus, what kind of security officer only has one arm?

As CMO, it's your responsibility to look after the chronic health concerns of the crew. Ezra requires some medications that hint at an interesting past (treatment for phantom limb pains, some scarring on the lungs that requires a regular steroid shot). He's tight lipped about himself, but he's got a biting sense of humor and a wicked sharp tongue, and you find yourself looking forward to his visits more and more.

He also knows his way around a field kit. When a disaster in engineering requires all of your attention, Ezra is right there, handing you exactly what you need before you can even ask for it. He refuses to leave your side for hours, helping with triage, first aide, transport, and even basic nursing care.

And that's when things change between you.

But the longer Ezra is in your bed, the more questions you have. His speech patterns and mannerisms suggest he's spent lots of time far from Central. He claims no family, just a niece that he'd lost contact with a long time ago. The pattern of his injuries and the scars on his torso leave you wondering where he was, that he hadn't received proper medical care. Even his familiarity with the field kit is suspicious. His service records are sealed, so you find no answers there.

And there's the way he listens intently for any information regarding details from the missing ship.

You aren't stupid. You know that the discovery of juice, if it's even a third of the rumors are true, would change the course of medicine forever. Speculative research even suggests that it's highly addictive.

In the back of your mind, you start to wonder if Ezra is a Fringer, feigning for a hit.

Confused, frustrated, and sick at your stomach, you shoot off a message to that friend of you dad's, the security officer that Ezra had replaced.

And then you promptly forget about it. Things are good.

As the ship approaches the last known coordinates of the research team, Ezra starts to get antsy. Tension between you rises, and one evening, after a little tiff, you get a ping on your personal comm.

It's the son of your dad's friend. There'd been no family emergency. He'd been reassigned the night before embarkment, is currently serving at a lunar penal colony orbiting Kamaria. All information regarding the mission was classified. He hasn't been heard from since.

Heart in your throat, you make for your office. You know in your heart that this man is dead, and you need a place to think with a clear head, not tiny quarters that you so frequently share with Ezra.

You find him bent over your computer. He's used your personal passcode to access information on the missing research team. You'd caught him red-handed.

Furious and betrayed, you turn him in to the captain, spilling all of your suspicions. Ezra is trying to tell you something, pulling out the "but wait you don't understand" song and dance, but you refuse to listen. You hate him, but mostly, you hate yourself for ignoring your instincts. You'd known he was hiding something. He's locked away in the brig, and for the next three days, you do your damnedest to forget about him.

The ship lands on the planet where the research team had disappeared. There's no sign of the missing ship, but you do find Juice. Lots of it. And it has every bit of potential that the Fringers claimed. You take furious notes, delighted to be on the cutting edge of discovery, and send them all back to Central in hourly updates, as requested.

Then, disaster strikes. The ship is attacked. You wake up planet-side to a smoking hull and charred bodies. Somebody is tugging on your arm, dragging you away from one last explosion. The ship goes up in flames, and you pass out, realizing you're the only survivor.

You come to in a cave. Your rescuer is a young girl, 19 or 20. Her name is Cee.She tells you her story, that she was an intern on the professor's research ship, that they'd found what you'd found, and then been attacked like you'd been attacked.

Then she tells you more. This planet is a home of a warlike race of humans with strange traditions. They fly ships shaped like squids, speak a language that she's never heard, and they guard the juice with their lives. The research team's last transmission had documented as much. They were aborting the mission and heading for Central when they'd been attacked.

Your objective had never been to rescue the researchers. Rather, it had been a suicide mission. Attacking a medical transport is an act of war. Central had anticipated that, and had sent you and your team as bait.

Central means to start an intergalactic war, all as a ploy to claim the juice.

You realize something else, too. You recognize Cee from Ezra's stories. He'd spoken of her more than once. The niece that he was so proud of, the one who was in her second year of university, the one he'd lost contact with.

It occurs to you that maybe that's what Ezra had been trying to tell you all along. That he was here to find Cee, not to get a hit of some alien drug. And then you realize that it doesn't matter, because he's gone.

Nobody from the ship had survived. Certainly nobody in the brig.

I haven't quite worked out the rest of this plot, but obviously Ezra is alive, and obviously you and Cee are going to eventually find him. Maybe you make some tentative connection with the locals, try to warn them of the coming shitstorm, and you find him with them (these guys speak the same language as Inumon, and I know that Ezra at least understands it, if he doesn't speak it himself). By this point, you have told Cee the entire story, and she trusts you. There will be a very sweet reunion between Cee and Ezra, but things between the two of you still be tense. Naturally.

Central is going to attack, and in the fallout of that, you and Ezra will reconnect. Maybe he'll save you, and you'll kiss. Lots of apologies and feels.

All I know is, I want the story to end with the three of you as outlaws on the run, standing on the edge of an impending war with no idea how you're going to survive it.

All you've got is each other.

Unpopular opinion

You guys are gonna hate me for this, but I don't care. A lot of Ezra fic I've read really overshoots his speech patterns, to the point that it's almost impossible to get through. Ezra is not a walking thesaurus. He's a little archaic, sure, with a hint of in-universe jargon thrown in every now and then. Think Rooster Cogburn, but in space.

Check out @littlemisspascal, @the-blind-assassin-12, and @yespolkadotkitty for examples of Ezra done right - they've got his voice down to an art.

Favorite relationship

Ez + Jay. Ez + Lanie.

I mean, in canon, it's obviously his relationship with Cee. I think they're just precious. Found family is my favorite trope, and Cee brings out the dreamer in Ezra -- a trait that was nearly lost on the Green.

Side note that I don't see this as a father-daughter relationship. More like big bro/little sis, or maybe Weird Space Uncle.

Favorite headcanon

Oh, Christ, just one? Okay. I think Ezra was mutinied and left for dead on the Green. He headed an entire crew, and for whatever reason, they turned on him and took the goods -- and the ship.

Another good one that's less headcanon and more an understanding of closed-circuit ventilation systems -- I don't think that when Ezra said his filter was no good, he was referring to the filter that kept him from breathing the Dust (or whatever they call it, I forgot, sue me). I think he was referring to the filter that kept him from rebreathing his own carbon dioxide.

But that's a whole ass science lesson for another day!

#ezra prospect #ezra prospect x reader #ezra prospect x you #ezra x reader #ezra x you #prospect film #pedro pascal #send me a character and i'll make you one of these

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lily-mj-fae · 3 years

Text

I went back and forth on my feelings about Elain and Nesta and if Elain had given up on Nesta. At first, I fought it. It felt like people were ignoring the signs that Elain very much still cared. Then I thought about it, and went, okay. Maybe she has. But she’d got her own trauma to deal with. So let her focus on that, Nesta is pushing her away anyway. She can give Nesta space while working on that.

But no. I will not be subscribing to the idea that Elain ever gave up on Nesta, because she never did. Nesta removed herself from Elain’s life. By her own goddamn admission. We have textual evidence that Elain didn’t just walk out of Nesta’s life. Nesta walked out and pushed Elain out of it. And when she had opportunity, Elain tried to be there. She wanted to be there. Nesta wouldn’t give her a chance.

And Nesta wasn’t dealing with her trauma. She was hiding from it. She was being self-destructive. And in a way destructive to others. Elain had already lost everyone. There was a time when she and Nesta thought Feyre had died. She lost Graysen. She lost all of her friends, again. She lost her home multiple times. And now she was losing Nesta.

And okay, Elain wasn’t there when Nesta was told this. And maybe she should have been. But frankly, it wouldn’t have made a difference in the end. (I personally choose to believe that Elain volunteered to pack Nesta’s things because she didn’t want a stranger going into her sister’s home and doing it. She wanted to take the time and care. And perhaps have a moment to feel close to Nesta for the first time in a long time. Maybe even just to remind herself how bad things might have gotten. But it certainly wasn’t done in malice.)

Her agreeing that Nesta needed an intervention was fighting for Nesta. It wasn’t giving up on her. It was choosing to do something that she knew would potentially damage their relationship. And she was willing to do that, if it meant her sister might be able to heal.

Her going off to Rhys to be taken home after their conversation, IS PERFECTLY LOGICAL, especially for her character. We already know that Elain is capable of recognizing that things are likely to not go the way she might hope, but that because she still has feelings, it upsets her when it happens. Of course Elain didn’t think Nesta was going to magically cured immediately. But it makes sense that she would say “You don’t have to be miserable about it.” Elain is the girl who finds the bright side. The opposite of Nesta. Of course it wasn’t ideal for Nesta, but Elain wasn’t wrong. In fact, I’d wager it might have been her who suggested the Library, because she knows what books mean to Nesta. And she likely was hoping Nesta might be open about that.

Now in terms of the slut-shamey statement. Obviously intent in the end is just that, intent. But I think the comment about Nesta sleeping around is less about her sleeping around and more because, sex has consequences. And maybe in SJM’s world, fae don’t have STDs. So maybe that’s not a thing. But I consider it a possibility. Ultimately, I think it more about recognizing that Nesta was not sleeping around because she was embracing her sexuality. She was sleeping around because of her trauma. And in the end, it’s not a good thing Elain brought it up.

But then Nesta really went of. Taking exceedingly personal digs at Elain, blaming her for their father’s death. I don’t care if you hate Elain, you should be able to recognize that crosses a line. Even for siblings. (I’d frankly file that under being worse than my siblings blaming me for my mother getting child support and whatever she did with that). So yes, she is hurt. Yes she was hit by reality. And yes. She was upset. She had every right to be, if not for anything else, for that moment alone.

The next time they interact, Elain is offering to help with the dread trove, because Nesta doesn’t want to. Nesta doesn’t want to. Elain does. And it protects Nesta. But what happens? Nesta puts her down more. Elain calls her out for the hypocrisy of insulting her for her simple life, but then preventing her from doing more (as she should!). I mean. Time has passed between these moments. And so as far as Elain is seeing, there’s no progress at all.

from there, until solstice, Elain isn’t around when Nesta is. and this is something fandom criticizes her for. Claiming she’s not there for Nesta. Why would Elain be there? She likely feels she’s unwanted. She’d likely be verbally assaulted by Nesta again. And she’s likely feeling insulted because she walked outof that meeting confidently telling them to get her when they were ready to start, because she was going to help. And instead she was kept from it.

So by the time Solstice hits. Was her comment asking if Nesta had been paid necessary? No of course not. Was it a bit callous? Absolutely. (I do defend her Feyre one because this had been shortly after Nesta had told her sister about the deadliness in anger, and so Elain was just trying to protect Feyre, especially because it was also her birthday). But was she upset with Nesta? No. In fact, she ended up being thrilled. Excited to see her sister finally working towards being in a better place.

But no. Elain didn’t give up on Nesta. She wanted Nesta to heal. She was willing to sacrifice their relationship for it. Let herself think their relationship was ruined. Let herself let go of it, if it meant Nesta found healing, she was letting herself lose Nesta. And she was genuinely happy to hear Nesta’s journey. To see her improving. Because that’s all she wanted. Was for Nesta to find her healing. And she accepted that she probably didn’t have a place in that.

Was Elain perfect in any of this? No. Of course not. She’s “human”. She made mistakes. Many were emotionally charged, just like her sister’s. And if you can excuse Nesta’s behavior because of her emotions ad her trauma, then the least you can do is at least recognize that Elain has it too, and is equally entitled to acting out the way she does because of that.

#elain archeron #pro elain #elain defense

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animeyanderelover · 3 years

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Ok I'm starting to notice Leorio gets little to no love so I just had to request a one-shot for him plus honestly I think he'd be one of the least stressful Yandere's to have.I'd love to see your interpretation with prompt 84“I’m not the most violent person, but I’m willing to change that if it means having you.”

Leorio is really a very easy one to deal with. And I totally agree, he doesn’t get enough love😤.

Warnings: Yandere themes, unhealthy mindset, unhealthy relationship, overprotectiveness, violence

Prompt 84: “I’m not the most violent person, but I’m willing to change that if it means having you.”

Leorio. A name that you had always connected love and safety with. He was your boyfriend, your spoiling and loving partner. He had of course his moments where he was a bit harder to endure. When he became a bit more pervy for example. Or when he suddenly became a bit hotheaded. Leorio was a bit of a bomb when it came to other people being near you. Damn, this man could curse and yell if he wanted too and you always needed to drag him by his ear back to calm him down. But everyone had their flaws, right? And overall he was just very sweet for you. Often buying you flowers or chocolate to remind you that you were loved. Another thing that had made you fallen in love with him was his dream, his passion to become a doctor and save the life of people who hadn’t enough money to pay for proper treatment. It was in your opinion a great thing to work for. And hard working Leorio did, spending a good amount of time with studying and memorizing stuff for upcoming exams. And you tried to support him as good as possible, often bringing him snacks or helping him sorting the notes he took. You needed to repay his love somehow. You felt like you owed him that. Leorio often told you that you had already did enough by accepting him and that he owed you everything, but you didn’t let this answer count. It was your job to watch a bit out for him. Especially if he had one of his infamous outbursts. You needed to make sure that he didn’t do something stupid.

But you had never asked yourself what would actually happen if he should really lose his temper. And you had never wanted to think about it. Leorio was a hothead, but not necessarily a really violent one. That was at least what you had always thought. But everyone had their flaws. You, your parents, friends, people in the city, everyone. Including him. Some were small flaws, easily to overlook. But what happens if you discover a flaw, so huge that it can change your view on the person? And what if the person is someone you love with all your heart? What then? Do you start avoiding them? Or do you try to work it out because you love the person very much? What was the right choice in such a situation? Was there even a right or wrong in such a scenario? You had never thought about what would you do, you had never expected to ever be in such a situation. But even if you would have given it much thought before, would you be still be determined in your opinion you would have thought to be the right one. Or would your mind have started to waver in view of this situation? In the end it wouldn’t have stopped you from being torn apart between the screaming feeling of betrayal and disappointment and the whispering thoughts of forgiving and giving him a chance again. These thoughts were the bullets and yet the cure to your aching heart. And all because of him.

“I’m so sorry (y/n)! I’m so sorry that you had to witness this! I should have been more careful with this!”, Leorio apologized over and over again, walking panicked around in circles and pulling frustrated on his hair. Dear god, he was such an idiot!! He should have planned this more through instead of walking blindly into this situation! But he had anger and impatience letting cloud his judgement and had entered the fight blindly. Stupid, stupid, stupid!! And now you had seen everything. Leorio himself had somewhat sobered up when suddenly hearing his name being softly called, your beautiful voice trembling with fear. And he had felt like dying out of shame then and there. How could he have been so cruel to let you see this, witnessing how he beat up some guy you had never seen before. He had been so brutal with it, but had sobered up the moment he had layer eyes on you, seeing your wide eyes and quivering lip, taking cautious steps back. What had he been supposed to say in that moment? Nothing could have helped you in that moment, not even the fact that he had received informations from Killua that this man had been known in criminal places for capturing and selling people, focusing on pretty women and handsome men to have a better chance selling them. And he had recently taken an eye on you, wanting to grab you and a few other targets he had found in this city. And Leorio would have never let this happen. There could have been other options, but this guy had just happen to run into the already seething him on the way back. And Leorio had lost his temper in that moment.

You stared with huge eyes at the man in front of you, not really realizing him. He looked familiar yet also so unknown to you. Was that really your Leorio? Was this the same man you had often found sleeping with his face on one of his books, drooling all over it in the process? Was this the same man who had so often gifted you flowers and chocolates? Was this the same Leorio you knew? Or was he someone else? You didn’t know anymore what to think. Who was that guy in front of you? Listening to him explaining why he had done what he had done hadn’t really helped you either. It had just been excuses. Excuses with which he had tried to talk himself out of the situation, trying to prevent you from feeling scared of him. If that had been the goal you felt bad to tell him that he had failed. You were afraid, but not nearly as much as you were disappointed. You had thought that you had known him better. Wait. Were you disappointed in yourself? It looked like it. That didn’t seem right. You should feel anything, but self-blame in this situation. But you couldn’t help it. You had thought that you had known him better than this. But in reality you hadn’t known anything about him. He had fooled you with his sweet acts. And you moron had fallen for it. Love really made someone blind.

“Goddamn it! (y/n)! Please say something! Curse at me! Scream at me! Give me a punch if it helps you! But don’t just sit there and give me this look!” You couldn’t. You didn’t have the energy to do it. But most of all you didn’t have the heart. Not the heart to hurt him more than he already was. How could you if he was looking at you with such a heartbreaking look in his eyes at you? How were you supposed to hate someone who meant so much to you? You just couldn’t. But you also couldn’t bring yourself to just forgive him. To be honest, you didn’t know how to feel or what to do. That was why you chose to stay passive for now. With time an answer would eventually come to you. That’s what you hoped at least. Time would show if you would have to leave him or be able to stay with him. But for now you needed to ask him something. Something that might have an influence on your decision and might speed or slow the process down, depending on what he would answer you. And you were afraid of that. Afraid of hearing the wrong answer. Afraid of needing to make a decision that would hurt your heart and would break your already damaged image of him. But you knew that sometimes people needed to make a decision that would break their heart, but heal their soul. Love had always been a double-edged sword and it would always be. The more you loved the more it would hurt. But sometimes such pain was needed in order to make you wiser and see the world more clear. Some lessons were learned best through pain.

“Leorio?” Your voice sounded soft and quiet and if it wouldn’t have been for the already tormenting silence Leorio wouldn’t have been able to hear you. “Would you do something like this again? I understand that in some situations violence can’t be avoided. It’ll never be. But you just lost it when seeing that guy on the streets and dragged him in an alley to beat him up. Do you think that you would do something like this again? I mean getting so violent and beating someone up whilst being fully aware that they’re other ways to do it. You knew what you were doing was wrong...Right?” Leorio clearly heard the slight tremble in your voice when you said the last word. Actually he hadn’t thought about the consequences. The only thing he had wanted to do was getting that bastard to stay away from you. And when that man had started to call you nasty names and what a good plaything you would be for others he had completely lost it. Deep down he had known that there were other ways to solve this. But he hadn’t been able to hold back in that moment. How could he if he had the object of anger and problems right in front of him? And as soon as he had started he hadn’t even thought about stopping. Something...Something about smashing that guy over and over again had given him a satisfying feeling which had at first scared him a bit. He shouldn’t feel such things whilst beating someone up. But on the other hand he knew that this guy would only learn his lesson through this. Leorio knew people like him, knew their way of thinking. They would instantly run away and avoid someone when knowing that they didn’t have the upper hand. People like him were cowards who only pretended to be strong, but show them that you’re stronger and they would beg for mercy on their knees.

Leorio had a conflicted look on his face, gazing over your slightly shaking form. He knew that he wanted to protect you. He had to! As long as you reminded unharmed he was ready to go far. He couldn’t let someone take you away from him. Not if he had the power to stop whatever harm might come your way from touching you. And...And if that meant having to be a bit more vicious in certain situations then so be it. He knew that this wouldn’t make you happy. You were so precious and also so nonviolent. It was no wonder that you couldn’t handle this well. But that’s why he had to be there for you. He had promised you the day you had accepted his confession that he would always protect you and be there for you. And there was no chance that he would ever break that promise to you. He let out a exhausted sigh, giving you a almost helpless look. And from the way a shadow crossed your eyes he knew that you knew what his decision was. “I’m not the most violent person, but I’m willing to change that if it means having you.” You blinked slowly, turning your gaze to your toes. “I see...” Love hurt a lot you noticed. It was funny how love could hurt so much and yet so many people searched for it. And it was also always fascinating how less people really knew about others as they claimed to know. Every person had their flaw. But would you be able to overlook this one?

#yandere hunter x hunter #yandere hxh #yandere leorio #yandere leorio paradinight

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frecklef0x · 3 years

Text

Mass Effect 1: Playthrough Masterpost

At last, I have finished Mass Effect 1!

I have heard some mutuals say they wish they could play it again for the first time, and you kind of can--through me! I’ve been posting little “episodes” of live-tweet-stream-of-consciousness as I play, and now I’ve compiled them into one post to make my life easier.

Anyway, here’s the first one, the rest are under the cut. :)

frecklef0x plays mass effect: (ME1) episode one

My ass looks great in this uniform, first of all

Impaled robo zombies, yikes

Cheap shot, Saren, smh. How will I pass my spectre test now?!

Why does he have robot eyes? Is he like, Geth-Turian? Why? Is he a robo zombie also? Was it the beacon???

Cool beacon nightmares, I'm sure this is fine

This Kaiden guy has implants? ORTEGA?!??!?

"Call me princess again and you'll be picking your teeth up off the floor" lol obliterated

The citadel elevators are very realistic, five minutes of tense silence huh

Ya girl got a PROMOTION and a DOPE SQUAD time to catch a TRAITOR

frecklef0x plays mass effect: (ME1) episode two

First things first, gotta go find the blue scientist to join the gang

This galaxy is HUGE! How many of these places will I actually be able to go?!

Only two friends at a time????? D:

Ah, a distress signal, let's see wha--A DESERT CENTIPEDE NOPE ABORT ABORT

Robo aliens? In MY Theronian mining facility? Its more likely than you think

Running over dudes in my Mako is extremely satisfying tbh

*runs over geth troopers* *runs over geth armature* *runs over geth colossus* ... *backs over geth colossus*

Working elevators in the ancient ruins ✔

Oooooooh man hope this nerd is gay

Wrex, a friend of yours? Nope, not a friend, too murdery

"ShAaaAame about the ruins Shep, sOooOo much collatoral damage, SHEP" stfu Council, "ruthless" was in the resume when you promoted us, 10/10 would shoot lasers through archeological digs again

When Kaiden calls us "ma'am" I am, uh, into it

frecklef0x plays mass effect: (ME1) episode three

Time to talk to the gang! Gotta meet the fam proper

Oh dear seems we got a shmee of racism on board, compatriots

Wow Raina, good foot-in-mouth moment with Wrex there huh...sorry about the eventual extinction of your race, lost this round of Pain Olympics

OH SHIT OH SHIT BLUE HOTTIE BIGENDER? THIS IS NOT A DRILL???

“hi I’m Kaiden wanna hear about my last crush ;)” “hi I’m Liara wanna hear about Asari mating rituals? ;)))” damn we really slidin right into the DMs no chill

Garrus: fuck rules and red tape amiright Raina: oh u right ;)

Guess I’ll actually do a mission now LETS GO LESBIANS LETS GO

Honestly rolling out with Tali and Liara is a mood, squad goals

Raina @ every corporation on Noveria: I would sell you to satan for one(1) corn chip

This reactivation puzzle is some shit

I see some Mistakes were made

We already killing moms at this stage damn BioWare

FUCK FUCK BENEZIA KILLED ME AND I LOST A FUCKTON OF PLAYTIME

THERES LIKE NO AUTOSAVE IN THIS BITCH FUUUUUUUUU

fuck fuck fuck god damn it gotta shoot a bunch of deranged baby bug people again god DAMN IT

Okay we killed Liara’s mom in front of her hope that’s fine

And we let mama bug go free because after talking to Wrex, Raina’s like “this galaxy is a little trigger happy with the genocide, good luck out there bug mama ❤️ be cool please”

I have literally watched the scientist in the hot labs get killed three times now

So far the debreifs with the council have not gone very well

“You let bug mama go?! How many generations until they take over everything???” “My money’s on two :D Place your bets now assholes or stfu :DDD”

Asked Liara if she was okay and she seems pretty Cool With It

I hope to one day return to Noveria and Death Star it into oblivion

frecklef0x plays mass effect: (ME1) episode four

Talked with Tali and this situation with the Geth and the Quarians is giving me an existential crisis

You “inspect” my beautiful ship? You got somethin’ to say about my crew??? Talk shit get hit, bitch I will kill you

Yoooo my old earth gang, yeah what the hell, I’ll help ou—oh nope nvm he’s a xenophobe, you hang him and I’ll shoot his friend in the face, thx for your time

Went to the citadel to finish some assignments, left tasked with twice as many

“dOn’T cUt CoRneRs” fear not dear Kaiden, I have a permit: this piece of paper that says I do what I want

Still with the elevators, I really cannot with this

“You make it all sound so...dangerous...” ;) ;))))))

frecklef0x plays mass effect: (ME1) episode five

Headin’ to Virmire to rendezvous with the Salarian team

A cure for the genophase?!?!?! :D

Oh wait oh no are we for real gonna talk about destroying the cure like Wrex isn’t standing right here omg

SHIT GUYS NO NOT LIKE THIS WREX PLEASE

Phew for a conversation that basically started with guns drawn, it went pretty well... “What Saren has isn’t even a proper cure, he’s just fucking with the Krogans at this point. Are we gonna stand for that? Or are we gonna murder?” “Damn Shep, you right, we gon’ murder”

Okay Ashley, go join the aliens, try not to die

Shadow Team!🎵 tearing through the base 🎶 disabling all the defenses 🎵 (you gotta sing it to the tune of the Trogdor song)

We free the prisoners!!! :)

We shoot the prisoners??? :(

“Raina? How can you shoot them where they stand?” So it’s more merciful to let them explode? NAH FAM

This scientist is responsible for the mind control stuff? For Benezia? Fine I’ll let her go but I hope she explodes

We did not learn our lesson concerning beacons I see

Wait if even Saren is worried about his mind control ship does that mean there are larger forces involved here?

Oh. Oh fuck

Ugh Ashley I EXPLICITLY TOLD YOU NOT TO DIE

(so we really never found any info about that genophase cure huh? disappointing)

Oh Seren, you dumb dumb. You absolute fool. Clown man.

When Raina slings Kaiden over her shoulder to carry him to the ship—mmmmmmmmwoooow I am very bisexual

Bruh Raina takes every council call and she disconnects pissed off every time

WAIT I literally just hung up with the council, ASHLEY is DEAD, and Kaiden needs a DTR RIGHT NOW?!?!? Boy, NO, READ THE ROOM

This has been a stressful day

frecklef0x plays mass effect: (ME1) episode six

Shepard will avoid her feelings and go to Faros instead

Seeing Ashley’s figure greyed out and her locker inaccessible makes me sad

Wrex and Garrus, let’s go shoot some geth 💪

A mind controlling planet—of course!

Shep gets all her renegade points shooting capitalists

Saved, uh, about half the colonists

If I have one more bad acid trip I stg

Oh nope here’s another one

Shep needs a nap

frecklef0x plays mass effect: (ME1) episode seven

Ah, the council. Curse your sudden but inevitable betrayal.

At least Liara is good at pep talks ;)

Joker, you cockblock

Haha DUDE we airborne, you THOUGHT

Now that I am exiled from the Citadel, guess I’ll run some galactic errands:

o Killed corporate scientists who though we would rescue them lol

o Destroyed a bunch of geth camps helping Tali on her pilgrimage

o Disabled a nuke and killed some pirates

o Shut down some evil Cerberus experiments

o And illegally traded information!

Okay time to get back on track

So we may or may not be flying to our doom

OH GOD LIARA LOVES ME!!! RAINA, YOU DISASTER, YOU DID IT AAAAAH ❤️❤️❤️

frecklef0x plays mass effect: (ME1) episode eight

You know what I love? Being murdered by geth armatures

All these Ilos ruins be looking the same

Security panel is only kinda helpful

Oh, luckily I know Prothean now!

“CANNOT BE STOPPED” wow very encouraging, thanks

After that super motivating message and disabling security, its time to go down, down to goblin town

Vigil? Oh word?

My girlfriend is GEEKING out

I knew something what wrong with that fucking Citadel

Vigil: information is power. Also Vigil: What does it matter why they do what they do? All that matters is you stop them

“non-essential” personnel die first, huh? GROSS, VIGIL (gotta be honest that hits different in 2020)

Garrus gets it, I knew we liked that guy

Okay, find conduit, save galaxy, break millennium-old genocide cyle, nbd

Ugh Mako you gotta do me dirty one last time I see, I hate this thing

THE CONDUIT STRAIGHT YEETED MAKO

The citadel robot says we’re doomed : )

This shootout is SO fun, seriously

Saren get it toGETHER

Renegade Raina can kill with a conversation apparently, well done then

Concentrate on the Sovereign—why am I gonna save a council that hates my guts, sorry, but I have a JOB to DO that you ACTIVELY HINDERED

Great, zombie husk Saren, just what I needed as I mull over the possible consequences of my galaxy-altering decision

GO JOKER GO

Humanity-only council seems…questionable. Raina didn’t love the council but this sits wrong. Couldn’t we just appoint a more diverse council, including a human?

Anderson seems like a good enough dude, so…we’ll see.

TIME FOR WAR BOYS, GODDAMN WHAT A GAME

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unprofessional-bard · 4 years

Text

Chapter 3 - To Have and to Hold

Losing My Religion Series Masterlist

Unprofessional Bard's Masterlist

Previous Chapter • Next Chapter

Pairing: Joel Miller x Female!Reader

Warnings: Depressive episodes + some suicidal thoughts... mostly angst but some fluff?? :")

Summary: The reader gets better and better each day, fitting better into her new life in Jackson, while Joel and Ellie continue their journey. The reader, after over five months, is greeted by unexpected visitors during patrol one day.

Word Count: 6.034. Grab a snack maybe?

Author's Note: As I mentioned in the previous chapter, I don't have PTSD or depression, but I do a lot of research about these mental illnesses before I write; once more, my last wish is to offend any of you, so my deepest apologies if I do! ! I do hope you like it!

Enjoy!

"(Y/N), you up?" You heard Tommy's voice as he and Maria peeked into the room.

"Thanks to you, yes." The edges of your lips turned up, eyes still closed.

"You've been asleep for almost five hours, we got worried." Maria said. "Tommy wanted to talk to you."

You opened your eyes, watched Maria leave and Tommy sit on a chair beside your bed: "How you doin'?"

"No nightmares," You sighed and pulled yourself up and leaned your back on the wall. "The bed was pretty comfortable, I'd say my body's rested at least. You found Ellie?"

"Yeah, about that," Tommy scratched the back of his head. "We found her, she's alright but..."

It turned out that Ellie and Joel had been on the road for awhile and that Joel and Tess were tasked with carrying her across the country because she was a potential cure, a way to save humankind. Joel apparently wanted Tommy to take her to the Fireflies and convinced him to do so too, but just after they found Ellie and brought her back to town, Joel had a change of mind and took off with Ellie to Salt Lake City. You felt sick again, finding out that Ellie was immune and she was gone now, without saying a goodbye. You zoned out and stared at your hands resting on your lap.

"But uh, Maria arranged a house for you," Tommy smiled softly.

You nodded, still feeling numb and shocked: "Appreciate it..."

Tommy reached out and gave a firm squeeze to your shoulder: "They're going to be okay, (Y/N)... Now Maria told me what kind of a bond you shared with Ellie and I know you're upset, but she's capable of taking care of herself. Now Joel, much of an asshole he is- he's going to protect Ellie and they're gonna be just fine. They'll be back, don't you worry."

You nodded again and looked at him when he told you to get up so he can show you around and to your new house.

It had been so long since you'd seen lights and so many people together, people who didn't attack or yell orders at each other. They were just happy, minding their own businesses and, according to Tommy, headed to the 'theatre'. But for some reason you couldn't truly feel happy about it- getting a random headache instead. You could really use another nap right now.

"Here you go," Tommy led you to a small, cabin-like house. There was a salon and a kitchen to the left, and a bathroom and small living room to the right and right across the hallway, a bedroom; there was also a small balcony and garden connected to the bedroom. You couldn't have asked for anything more from neither Maria nor Tommy. "Take a bath and get rid of your clothes - Maria got you some new ones. We're going to have dinner in an hour or so, I'll send a guy to pick you up. That okay?"

"Yeah," you sucked your lips in and sighed, wrapping your arms around yourself. "Thank you Tommy. Really-"

"Don't mention it," Tommy patted your arm. "Think of this as a repayment from that last time, or just... humanly behaviour, you choose."

You sighed and felt your eyes water again, quickly wiping it with your palm.

"I'll leave you to it," Tommy said and walked away. You gulped and let out a shaky breath, entering your new house and closing the door. You walked around slowly, taking short looks at the rooms as you approached your new bedroom. Maria had left a pair of jeans, which at first looked too small for you, a black undershirt with black, normal panties along with a dark red, turtleneck sweater. They smelled as if they were fresh out of a washing machine. You dropped your backpack on the floor next to your bed, then lurked back to the bathroom to start the water.

You came back to the bedroom to take out some stuff from your backpack when you noticed a note left on the bed next to the sweater:

Hey! I hope these clothes are okay. Neither of us knew what size you wear, so I took a few guesses and, if they don't fit you or if they're too warm/cold, just let me or Tommy know and I'll try to find something else for you. You can put your dirty clothes in the bin outside the entrance, someone will come and pick them up. I hope you like it here :)

Maria

You smiled briefly, then picked up the gas lamp on your nightstand (which worked with a candle) and put the note under it. Your fingertips lingered on the lamp as you felt a great amount of guilt and grief settle in you. I don't deserve this, you thought to yourself and bit your bottom lip to stop it from quivering.

Too much to think about...

Too many people to grieve...

You almost forgot about the bathtub and went back to the bathroom, to find it almost completely filled. You saw a pink soap at the edge of the bathtub which you didn't notice- or forgot? Whatever, there was a goddamn soap you could clean yourself with.

You took off your clothes and threw them into a pile and slowly dipped yourself in the warm water, sighing at the contact. Dry blood immediately changed the colour of the water a little but you couldn't bring yourself to wash your body just yet. Instead, you pulled your legs to your chest, wrapped your arms around them and placed your chin on your knees. This gave you a moment to think: To think about everything you've done, everything you've seen, everything you've been through; Why me? I don't deserve this. were the only words echoing through your mind, convinced that you truly didn't deserve to be alive. Your chest felt really tight all of a sudden and you forced yourself to calm down again, only to remember that you can cry, sob, whine and grieve your loved ones now. You were safe and sound, no one was around and you didn't have to stay strong for anyone anymore. You could put your guard down and be fragile, like a porcelain doll.

Tears began streaming down your face.

You closed your eyes tightly, pulled your knees closer and held your arms tighter as you bewailed; like you'd simply die if you dared hold it in any longer.

Felicity... Kurt... Maxim... Amanda... Robin and Cole...

They deserve this- they deserve a good life, I don't.

I let them down, get them all killed and get a fucking reward for it? Unbelievable.

Your fingers brushed your hair back as you cried and whined, leaning back on the wall to your right. You covered your face with both of your hands, dry blood around your body dissolving into the water in the meanwhile.

You had no idea how long you'd been crying, but you immediately stopped when there was a knock on the door.

"(Y/N), sorry to bother you," It was Maria. "I brought you some shoes, socks and some other stuff I thought you might need."

Your chin trembled as you panicked in the tub, water now cold: "I- I'm in the bath right now!"

"Okay, I'll just-" You heard the door open after you noticed how your voice cracked. "I'm leaving these here... are you alright?"

"Yeah," you nodded, wiping your tears aimlessly. "Is someone gonna come grab me for dinner or are you it?"

"Oh, no, there's still less than half an hour. I'll send someone when the time comes, don't worry."

"Okay- erm, thank you," You replied and she left with a sincere not a problem.

You started washing yourself with the soap, which felt really nice. You were actually going to smell nice for a change. It took you around ten minutes to wash yourself whole. Although you were still hurt and sad, Maria's brief presence had unintentionally calmed you down and you convinced yourself that it was enough for one day. You now had the rest of your life set in front of you, you could practically grieve whenever you wanted, right?

You dried yourself with the towels beside the sink, wrapping your head with one of them as you got dressed. Your wrists were healed for the most part, leaving behind marks which would be the reminder of your survival, but they didn't sting anymore. Now you had to worry about your waist which surprisingly didn't hurt as much. Probably because of the proper treatment and medicine you were provided with.

The weather was cold and the day was going darker by the minute. You put on every piece of clothing that were given to you, grabbing the stuff Maria left for you off the ground and finally dropping on the bed, laying down on your back, arms spread across the mattress. You suddenly had this terrible feeling that you were going to have trouble sleeping alone at night: Back in your FEDRA days, you always shared a bunk or a room with your teammates, always slept around a fire together when you were out of the base. There was always someone with you, which made you sleep better even in your worst days. Before you came here, you didn't have your friends but you had Ellie... and Joel.

Oh how you had missed them already.

The worst part was, you almost didn't know anybody here. Tommy was the closest person you could call a friend and you didn't even want to talk about Maria. As sincere as she was, you got to know her just today. You felt uncomfortable sharing your story with her, you knew you'd feel even more uncomfortable when it came to sharing your emotions.

You didn't realise a few tears had forced their way out of your closed eyelids and down your face until there was a knock on your door.

"Uh, hello? Maria sent me to come and get you..." You heard a deep voice laced with a southern accent, which reminded you of Joel's a little but it wasn't as heavy as his.

"Yup, coming," you huffed and got up, wiping at your eyes with the back of your hands.

You were really torn between wanting to be alone and wanting company, so you decided to let other people take over.

You also grabbed Kurt's knife before you went to the door, just in case.

"Uh, hi there," The man greeted you. You felt like you'd seen him before but you weren't sure. He was tall and slender, a lot taller than you were; he had dark red, wavy hair and green eyes, freckles splattered around his face and forearms. Looking into more detail, he had a tall, turn-up nose, light facial hair and lips which reminded you of a model's - they weren't chapped and they were quite plump. His cheeks and nose were reddened, probably because of the cold but his lips had a natural redness to them.

"Hi," you sighed, taken aback. "I'm, uh, (Y/N)."

"I know. I'm Walt," He smiled softly and handed a piece of cloth over to you. "Maria told me she didn't have a jacket with a hood, that I should bring this so you could cover your hair."

It was a slouch beanie with a pompom attached to it. Your face scrunched up, you never thought you'd be wearing these and you didn't want to, but your hair was wet and you really weren't in the mood to add more to your headache.

"Uh, thank you." You muttered awkwardly and put the beanie on.

"Here," Walt reached out for the beanie, making you flinch. "It's okay, I'm not gonna hurt you..." He smiled sincerely and adjusted the beanie. "Better. Shall we?"

"Let's," you sighed, not really knowing what to say to him. He was quite handsome, you were expecting someone old and grumpy to come get you, not a cute guy with-

Cute?!

Goddammit.

"It's nice to see a new face," Walt commented, putting his hands in his jean's pockets. "Maria told me you were spec ops- I never thought I'd meet another outside a QZ."

You halted and looked at him: "You're spec ops too?"

"Yup, that's why she sent me, thought maybe you'd need someone who relates to you?" Walt explained. He visibly tensed when you didn't respond: "I'm sorry, was I too forward?"

"Oh- not at all, I'm just surprised is all. Where did you come from?" You asked as you two kept walking.

"I was born in Denver, grew up and enlisted there too. I served under FEDRA in Denver for a few years before being sent to Boston... What a pain in the ass."

"Yeah, I was in Boston for- ever. I knew I'd seen you somewhere." You sniffed and tried to smile.

"Boston was hell," He groaned. "We were new and there was this team, they were looking for new recruits and I wanted to sign up, I don't know what I was thinking but..."

"Oh," you sighed loudly, looking at the ground. "I know, some stupid sonofabitch named Gabe 'bought' his way in."

"You were at the training too?" Walt asked, surprised.

"I..." You tried to speak and get over with it, but decided to take your time. "I was uh, I was the team's leader."

This time Walt stopped: "Get outta town."

"I'm serious," you gave him an apologetic smile, reaching for your knife in your pocket slowly.

"I'm- I'm sorry," he let out an awkward laugh. "I thought you were the person who picked the new recruit, I might have cursed a little too much behind your back."

This time you laughed too, relaxing: "Oh it's fine. They never really liked me at the Boston QZ, I do have a fair share of curses on my behalf."

Just when the both of you chuckled, Maria opened the door. When did you even arrive?

"Perfect timing!" She smiled. "We were just about to eat, come in."

"After you," Walt took a step behind and motioned for you to go in. You smiled and walked in, Maria sending a quick wink your way before Walt could see and you just rolled your eyes.

There was a big table and three men sat around it, Tommy across them. They were filling their plates with, by god, delicious looking food. Tommy waved at you and you smiled as the three of you sat down around the table, Maria at your right and Walt on your left.

"This is (Y/N)," Tommy introduced you. "(Y/N), these men are the leads of our patrol. I wanted you to meet them because I reckoned you might wanna do patrols, is that okay?"

"Well," you sighed. "I know a couple of more things other than how to shoot a gun, y'know."

"That so?" Tommy grinned. "If you wanna do something else, that's fine. But I still want you to get to know them. You already met Walt, but not sure if you remember him..."

Eugene Linden. Of course you remembered him.

"Eugene?" Your eyes widened.

"Hi there, commander," he tipped an invisible hat your way and smiled.

"Goddamn," you sighed with a grin and chuckled. Then, simultaneously: "Still not dead, huh?"

Eugene and Tommy were absolutely despised and were the talk of the base when you were sent to Denver for duty. You had mixed feelings toward them at first -well, you were sent to kill them after all- but not because you followed orders blindly, because of the attacks and the terror caused by them. They were reckless and they killed civilians, you weren't sure if they were the promise keeping type.

You were outnumbered and genuinely scared that you may not get to see another day (not that you wanted to anyway) so you changed tactics and surrendered. You promised them that you'd help them escape FEDRA in return of your team's and civilian safety. They kept their promise but a few months later, both of them left the Fireflies and you were sent back to Boston. You never saw either again until now.

A night went by with no stressing out over when or how you were going to be attacked. You already made 'friends' with the lead patrol men: All of them were army men, Walt being the only spec ops. You already knew Eugene and Tommy and were now acquainted with Walt and Maria. The other men, Robert and Bruce seemed to like you too; Robert was around Eugene's age, you assumed as he looked a little old but Bruce was around your age, maybe younger.

Tommy walked you back home, as much as Maria secretly tried to make Walt your escort, you didn't mind him.

"How are you liking it so far?" Tommy started as soon as you were outside and on the way back to your house.

"I- I absolutely have no words, Tommy. I can't thank you both enough, I guess I owe you one?"

"Stop with that nonsense," Tommy chuckled. "Those days are over, you're not a FEDRA puppet and I'm not a 'terrorist' anymore... Those days are behind us. Let's focus on what we have now."

"You're right," you nodded, stuffing your hands in your pockets. "It's just- I want you to know how grateful I am for the both of you... I don't deserve this, you know?"

Tommy gave you a worried look when your voice wavered a little: "'Course you do, don't say that stuff now..."

Tommy turned to you under a streetlight and held your shoulders: "You deserve this more than anyone, (Y/N). Joel told me about what happened to your team and I am truly sorry for that-" You sniffed and tried to hold back your tears to no avail. "Hey, hey, it's alright... Look, even without after everything you've gone through, you deserve this. Everyone stuck in this world survivin' does."

"But I'm the reason they're dead!" You sobbed: "If I was faster, none of them would've been captured! If I had been more careful-!"

"(Y/N)!" Tommy shook you. "None of that was your fault, you hear me? I know you think it is but it ain't. I'm sure that if they could, they'd be the ones to give you this life. You were a good leader, you treated them kindly and helped everyone out- even your enemies. I know that as much as you want to trade places with them... what's happened, happened. It's gonna take some time, but you're gonna have to come to terms with it and move on. One way or another."

"I know," you whimpered. "I know but, I never had the time to... I didn't even get to bury them. They're out there, rotting in an old building and I'm here, eating actual food and taking a bath. With a soap."

"Well, if that's what you're worrying about," Tommy dropped his hands to his sides and began walking with a grin. "I can assure you they're in a far better place right now than you could ever be, alive."

You stared at him walk away slowly and let his words sink in. He was right, they no longer had to deal with the bullshit this world had to offer anymore. They were properly resting now.

Although it was a nice first night you spent there and as much as Tommy's words left an impression on you, the moment he said goodnight and you closed your door, a feeling of uneasiness settled in you. Sitting at the table with your new neighbours itself pained you at first, reminding you of your team... Your family...

You still struggled to believe this place was real. There was actually a place for you, a place amongst lovely people who had no bad intentions toward you. There was a new life for you here, you knew you had to move on from your past one, but you also knew it wasn't just going to happen over night. There was still so much guilt in you. And, well, the attack today didn't really help your hopes for this place, you knew better than anyone that all good things come to an end.

But that didn't mean that you wouldn't fight to keep this place going as far as it could.

----

"Aw man," Ellie sighed as Joel finished explaining the basics of baseball to her. "I wonder if (Y/N) ever played it."

Joel's expression relaxed and turned into a thoughtful one. He thought about you, wondered if you were okay and how you were getting along with his brother and the others in Jackson. He was mad at himself for getting angry at you for no reason and he knew, if he ever went back to Jackson, he'd have to make it up to you.

----

Your first few weeks went by resting and helping everyone with everything as much as your wounds allowed. You were fatigued and didn't really want to talk to anyone but Tommy and Maria, who checked up on you almost twice a day when you didn't show up for too long. You were mostly in bed, either doing nothing or sleeping. You had constant headaches and refused to take medications because you didn't want them to think there was something wrong, but sometimes you'd get sick to your stomach from not eating. You lost weight in your first week and a half which didn't escape Maria. You kept complaining about how you couldn't get used to sitting in bed and doing little to nothing for hours, your sleep schedule was absolutely fucked but you also didn't have the energy to get up. You were alone by yourself most of the time which didn't help and by your second week, Maria and the lady from the nursery, Katherine, who was apparently a medic, insisted she did a check up on you.

"I'm no psychologist, but I think she's depressed." Katherine had said when you had fainted because you got up too fast after your examination. "I read a book on it some time ago and she has most of the symptoms... Someone needs to keep an eye on her- she can't stay alone. She's grieving and she's going to need help going through it."

Maria had nodded with sad eyes, uncertain about what to do and Tommy held his wife as they looked at your sleeping form. Your face was way skinnier comparing to when you first arrived in Jackson.

"She doesn't just need a companion per se," Katherine had whispered. "We, as a community have to look after each other and will look after her too, but she barely talks to anyone other than you two. She needs to be more involved with us."

Maria's brows raised: "We can sign her up to patrols with the boys for a start. I'll pair her up with Walt, they seemed to be getting along."

"Well," Tommy had sighed, hands on his hips. "We could try the school? She always had a soft spot for children, maybe it'll help distract her for the most part."

"Offer her whatever you want, but just do it." Katherine nodded worriedly. "And make her eat, for god's sake. She won't survive like this any longer."

----

"You gotta tell me what to do!" Ellie panicked as Joel's vision began fading. "Come on, you gotta get up! Joel?"

Shit, what would (Y/N) do? Joel finally heard Ellie ask herself before he let the darkness take over his pale body. Really though, what would've you done if you were with them right now?

Joel thought back to the time where he was wrapping up your wrists in that house where you all took a shower. How you didn't even flinch when he applied the alcohol and just kept calm through every situation for the whole month you all travelled together. He thought about that one time where you treated a wound on his leg. It was just a bullet which whizzed through the side of his calf, not doing much damage but it still hurt a little. You had attended to it without any complaints.

"This won't take a minute, just sit down and let me handle it," You insisted. Ellie was already passed out on the couch in the next room. "If it gets infected you're never gonna stop bitching about it. Sit. Down."

"Yes ma'am," Joel's brows furrowed at your demanding tone. He sat on the ground and extended his leg on the floor. You carefully rolled the sleeve of his pants up and cleaned the wound.

"Come now, it's over, see?" You smiled gently when he hissed, then wrapped a bandage around his calf. Joel just nodded with an almost displeased look as you got up and moved to go to the other room to check on Ellie.

"Uh, (Y/N)?" Joel turned around before you disappeared into the next room. You gave him a quizzical look by the door: "Thank you."

You just smiled at him genuinely and somewhat shyly, then walked away.

----

You got more used to your new life each day, a full month had passed but you still struggled to come to terms with yourself; but there were some improvements too. You began eating more (by your own will) and you were just a little confused at why you were surrounded by people all the time, except for when you were in your house or at the makeshift gym with a lack of tools. You had only fainted once, it had to be about that, otherwise you were way past the welcoming phase. You still thought often of Ellie... and Joel. And Felicity and others. You found yourself crying some nights, but most nights you felt numb. You missed all your companions dearly - you knew you'd be with them sooner or later.

Walt had turned out to be excellent company, although you were sure his old patrol partner Bruce wasn't entirely fond of you anymore, with you made into Walt's new partner. You usually didn't go outside the walls as there weren't too many infected in the area, but now with you guarding the walls with them, the raids started to take less of a toll on the residents of Jackson. You were liked and your presence was appreciated, something you couldn't really bring yourself to believe.

Tommy and Maria were understanding of your condition and, as much as you had insisted otherwise, they urged you to stay at their place from time to time when you weren't feeling too well. You were grateful for them and for everything they had done to make you feel better while adapting to life in Jackson.

Days turned into weeks, weeks turned into months as Jackson developed further into an actual town. Although winter was harsh on the people, a true sense of community had settled into everyone living there. Diners and schools were built by the end of January and more shops like tailors were being built every day.

Walt and you, on the other hand, were a different story. He was so calm and cool and you couldn't help but get flustered whenever he was around. He treated you nicely, with a more welcoming manner and he was an outright gentleman. The small compliments he'd give you, the way he'd make you laugh... You weren't sure how he'd react if you opened up to him though, so you kept it to yourself.

A better developed relationship comparing to yours and Joel's, you thought. You wondered then how he was doing, if he was even alive and all that.

----

"It's okay, it's me- it's me." Joel turned Ellie around as she tried to get out of his grip. "It's me, look..."

Ellie gasped, taking in a shaky breath as Joel held her face between his hands, like that time you had an attack before reaching Jackson.

"He tried to-" Ellie sobbed, struggling to speak, then Joel pulled and pressed her shaking body against his chest.

"Oh, baby girl..." Joel whispered as he held her close, heart breaking over and over again at her state; the situation they were in reminding him of Sarah over and over again but there was nothing he could do. He had already lost one daughter and he knew, then and there, that he wasn't going to lose Ellie too.

----

With April's arrival, many pretty flowers you had never seen before (or didn't remember seeing pre-outbreak) blossomed throughout the town. Your garden was quite colourful, which brought joy to you. After the cloudy, gray winter days, you greatly appreciated the sun with occasional showers. The weather was mostly chill and windy but not like it was back in January. You had made amazing process with your health conditions - it wasn't perfect but process was still process. Walt had been of great help, talking about your past experiences and venting to each other from time to time had brought you two even closer. He was requested to look after you by Maria and Tommy, but he didn't mind and gladly did so.

Speaking of Tommy: One night while the three of you had dinner, you helped Tommy clean the dishes while Maria went out to give the leftovers to some newborn puppies. Joel was made the topic of your conversation all of a sudden and he revealed a very upsetting detail about Joel's past.

"He," Tommy began, gulping. "He used to have a daughter. Sarah."

You stopped washing the plate in your hands and gave him a look, his movements slowing down as a great set of dark clouds settled over him: "On the outbreak day, the three of us were in a car and it crashed. Sarah broke her leg, so Joel carried her. We ran but Joel and I got separated, when I reached them..."

Tommy sighed through his nose: "Sarah passed away in his arms... I'm thinking, maybe that's why he changed his mind about Ellie? He's- he won't tell you this, but I just thought you should now."

You just nodded with a worried look on your face. After finishing the dishes, Tommy went to their room while you waited on the couch in their living room. He came back with a small frame in his hands: "That's her..."

It was a picture of Joel and Sarah which appeared to be taken after a football match. They both looked so happy, your expression softened immediately and your heart broke: "How old was she?"

"Twelve, I think," Tommy nodded as you examined the picture. "She would've been a whole grownup by now."

Your eyes widened at Joel and Sarah's age gap: "He was so young when he had her..."

"High-school sweethearts," Tommy shook his head and smiled bitterly. "I had no idea what was goin' on. I was around her age when I found out my brother was gonna get married and that I was gonna be an uncle. I don't really remember those times but, Joel managed fine on his own after Sarah's mother left."

You never could've imagined this was the brothers' story before the outbreak: "You miss him, don't you?"

"Me? Miss Joel?" Tommy mocked offence as you handed the frame back to him. "Nah, never... Anyways, he could be back any day, might as well enjoy it before he becomes a pain in my ass again."

You had both laughed about it, but you knew he was worried about Joel and that he missed him. They were pretty close, although worldviews separated them, they were still brothers who cared for each other.

You had also built up the nerve to confess your feelings to Walt. Maria was great at encouragement, so with a deep breath, one night after a patrol in the woods, you knocked on his door:

"Oh, hi there Dolly," Walt smiled. He was looking rather handsome today - as if he put in extra effort to his looks. He looked like as if he was about to go out.

"Oh stop calling me that," You smiled shyly. "I sing once and suddenly I have a new name..."

"It suits you though," he smiled charmingly. "Hey, you'll never guess where I'm about to go right now."

"I'd say on a date, but-"

"Ding ding ding!" He chuckled excitedly. "You know Bonnie, right? She invited me over to her place for dinner."

You just stared, utterly dumbfounded.

"It's a little awkward, I should've been the one to ask her out, but I guess she got tired of waiting!"

She got tired of waiting and shot her shot... and succeeded.

"Oh," you nodded, quickly regaining your composure. "Uh, that's nice- when did you two even get that close?"

"Well," he closed the door to his house, making you take a step back. "You should pull your head out of work from time to time. You've been working so much, you may have missed it."

He smiled genuinely: "Anyways, I have to go now. I'm afraid I can't escort you back this time, I'm running late. You're okay though, right? I hope you didn't come all this way for something important?"

You nodded, words stuck at your throat, then he gave you a brief hug: "Alright, I'll see you tomorrow, goodnight!"

You just stood there and watched him leave, mouth agape, hopeless and disappointed.

"So?" Maria asked as you rested your chin on your hand, frowning at your plate. The both of you were having breakfast on your back yard: "How did it go?"

"He's seeing someone else," You sighed after an unnerving moment of silence and put your fork through your food.

"Oh," Maria's excited expression dropped. "Are you sure?"

"He said he was on his way to Bonnie's when I went over to his place."

You both sat in silence, your expression was soft but as much as you tried to hide it, there was a hint of sadness in your eyes. I got everything I didn't deserve after moving here, maybe I pushed my luck too much. You weren't angry, just disappointed.

"He said it himself," You chuckled. "Bonnie apparently got too tired of waiting for him to make a move, so she took matters into her own hands. I was too slow."

"Don't say that," Maria reached for your hand but didn't touch it. "How could've you known? Even I didn't notice they had a thing going on."

"It's okay," you forced a smile and took her hand in yours. "Maybe it wasn't the right time."

Maria was happy that you weren't taking it too heavily - you knew you'd have another chance. After breakfast, you both went your separate ways. Walt greeted you at the stairs which led up to the walls, your heart skipping a beat when you saw him - it was anxious skip however, you were not excited to see him.

"So," You forced a smile as you approached him. "How was your night?"

"Pretty good, thank you," he smirked as you two climbed up.

"Just pretty good? Tell me more!" You laughed. The situation was odd, but he didn't have to know.

"Well," he smiled like a teenage boy after his first ever date with his date. "We began with dinner. She had cooked the most amazing meal- You should definitely eat some too, I suggested that the three of us should have dinner sometime and she's totally down."

You flinched as you approached the notebook on the counter then wrote down your names, your back to him as you felt like jumping off the side of the wall and into a hole where the ground would swallow you whole rather than having dinner with them.

"Yeah, we'll see, I don't wanna be a burden on your new girlfriend."

"She's not my girlfriend, Dolly, she's-"

"Stay where you are!" You suddenly heard Cedric, one of the patrolman who's shift was over, shout.

"Hold it!" You yelled at Cedric from where you were, then immediately ran out to where he was, Walt behind you. Your heart dropped when you saw the duo who were stood by Jackson's doors.

No way.

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