#life is suffering and i am looking at gifsets.

[omaano]

…. Just so we all know this is the stage from where I need to pull my little clone portraits together

#Wip #my art #and then I will merge my sketch and paint layers together and the messing around starts for real #but FIRST I need to figure out my colours for good #haven’t struggled with them so much in a very very long time I feel like #shadows and mid tones and secondary light source and all that aaaah #I need to switch my brain off a little between commissions #I swore I was normal about that Tem gifset didn’t I? #then I stumbled into a fic where Rex picks up the horrible habit of smoking while on leave and here I am #I know I messed up something in my sketch that I will suffer to try and fix later but even when I flip it it doesn’t look TOO bad #he looks FINE in the reference window #which I will take at this point #the sketch took me as long as the other portraits from first line to colour adjustments lol #purple is giving me hell…. it’s time I run away and live out the rest of my life as a hermit away from civilization I suppose

[gerec]

Hi Gerec! Do you have any fics rec where Erik fell in love with Charles at first sight? I just love reading Erik being absolute whipped for Charles.

Hi Anon! Here are a few of my favourites where they fall in love (or in lust!) at first sight. Hope you enjoy :D

Scenes from the Wild by nekosmuse

Erik Lehnsherr, world renowned wilderness survivalist, alongside his husband, Charles Xavier, survive the perils of the wild in order to bring you, Two Men, One Knife, an award winning reality survival series, available only on the Discovery Channel. Follow Erik and Charles as they travel to the world's most remote locations with only the most basic of supplies. Pitted against nature, this husband-husband team struggle to survive in some of the world's harshest climates while battling the planet's fiercest predators. Can they survive the Canadian North? Find out next season, on Two Men, One Knife

Note: Chapter 2 covers their first meeting :D

Other Life Challenges by professor (series)

“Why am I here again?” Erik groans.

“I need you to lift things and glower at people over my shoulder when I tell people that it’s not ‘politically correct’ or a ‘war on Christmas’ to have a non-denominational winter holiday festival,” says Theresa Pryde.

Well, at least those are two things he’s good at.

Trying to create the next world war by aesc

The voice's owner is a young man, maybe a handful of years younger than Erik, with the earnest expression worn by a boy who's never grown up. He's very correctly academic in a dark waistcoat and collared shirt, although the collar is very incorrectly unbuttoned to display a hint of throat – enough, Erik decides, to want to lick. [Or, the one inspired by this moment-inducing gifset, where for some reason Erik's decided to work for the CIA as a means to an end and gets sent to England instead of Moira.]

645 Riverside Drive by smilebackwards

Azazel clearly has yet to understand the shattering power of Charles' disappointment, so Erik takes one for the team, grabbing the cup and downing the remnants of the cappuccino like a shot while Azazel watches with morbid fascination.

Humane Society by smilebackwards

Once Erik finally allows himself to decide that Charles is pretty much the best thing since sliced bread, he spends the next week being incredibly bitter that he's Charles' cat and not his boyfriend.

An Unexpected Muse by RedStockings

Erik is an artist who is obsessed with the young man he by chance bumped into six months ago. Charles is the long-suffering brother being dragged to an art exhibition by Raven. There he spots the man he has been dreaming about for six long months and realises that he had been noticed after all.

Walling in or Walling Out by stlkrchck

Erik stifles a sigh. Of course this is Mr. C. F. Xavier. Of course.

For the prompt: Charles and Raven are throwing a holiday party. Erik is the grumpy neighbor who is annoyed by how loud they are being. So he goes to complain, and Charles makes it up to him.

Protect, Serve, Troll by keire_ke

Erik's fire department has a special relationship with the local university. They visit often. Sometimes, there even is a fire.

Immovable Object Meets Irresistible Force by ximeria

Erik is woefully unprepared for Raven's brother, who returns to the States for her 25th birthday party.

soul of my soul by ikeracity

You can imprint on your soulmate anywhere — school, work, on the street, in a restaurant, on the subway.

Charles and Erik imprint on each other just in time for the holidays.

Some Things Are Meant To Be by ikeracity

Erik is a famous singer. Charles is a closeted fan. When Raven drags him to Erik's concert, the last thing Charles expects is for Erik to single him out of the crowd, for Erik to look right at him as he sings. And the last, last thing he expects is for Erik to personally serenade him and pull him on stage and kiss him senseless, because some things are meant to be and Erik knows it.

Crosswalk by velvetcadence

Erik accidentally French dips a perfect stranger in public. Things go as you might expect it to.

Meet Cute by lachatblanche

Erik never expected to meet his soulmate in a public toilet.

Forelsket by melonbutterfly

Erik doesn't usually react to people like that, no matter how attractive they are, and Lord knows how many incredibly attractive people he's met. And anyway, even if he is attracted to someone, it doesn't… overcome him like this, never.

Defy the Stars by SomeCoolName

Charles can’t sleep that warm night in New York when he decides to get some fresh hair on his balcony. It appears he’s not the only one who can’t sleep as he meets one of his neighbors, smoking on his balcony from the building across Charles’. They meet again in the elevator a few days later and the neighbor, Erik, is not only incredibly beautiful but also charming and funny. But Charles is in a relationship with Scott and Erik is hiding something, so it’s best if they just stay neighbors.

Too bad it was love at first sight.

To Life by professor

Erik wants a Jewish wedding.

#cherik #fic rec #gerec's fic rec #love at first sight #gerec rambles

[coldflasher]

For character bingo: Iris (if you didn't already get asked)

Iris, love of my life, I am kissing her on the forehead at all times

THE most beautiful woman alive, always looked good even in some of the less than flattering and age-inappropriate outfits they chose for her in later seasons. like. more than anyone else Iris will make me stop mid dashboard scroll to be like ohhhh because there'll be a gifset where she looks so beautiful.

also while ppl behind the scenes did NOT treat candice patton well, i actually feel the show didn't do iris too dirty. like. she's a powerful business owner with a media empire, she's won a pulitzer, she is adored and revered by her husband (as she should be) and her friends and family, and is a respected figure in the city at large, and i would like to give kudos to the show for being the first piece of media i have ever seen to tackle a character's complex feelings about pregnancy for a pregnancy that was planned and wanted. like iris chose to have a baby but she still becomes overwhelmed and freaked out by the ways it changes her body and how little control she has over the process and those feelings are respected and not treated as wrong or silly and as someone who is very squicked out by pregnancy and childbirth and all that, i REALLY appreciated that they did that.

they could have stood to do a better job of developing her personal relationships outside of barry/team flash imo, and im sad about how she wasn't as present in some of the later seasons, but generally i was happy with how things went for her and she was always a joy on my screen every week. no matter how bad the plot sucked i could rely on iris's parts being worth watching

I have so many feelings about her but i don't tend to want to put her through the wringer as much as my other blorbos, I just want to treat her tenderly 🥺 that being said, in my Flash!Iris fic, she goes THROUGH it, my girl has suffered and will suffer again. i'll feel bad about it though

#answered #thank you! :D #cw pregnancy mention

[xuseokgyu]

Every month of 2022 with Belle!

I was tagged by @ambivartence and @coupsnim to link your favorite and/or most popular post from each month this year (it’s totally fine to skip months!) and tag some CCs you love!

Since I’m a rambler I’ll be putting the list under a read more 😅

January So the most popular post was my favorite looks of Lee Know... I have maybe 20 posts max of stray kids, bur they certainly have one of the most active fandoms, this post will make a comeback from time to time and suddenly there are yet more notes, but my favorite must be this crazy interaction and incredible face expression by our one and only Joong in one of Maddox’s vlogs hehehe February my most popular here was Yunho crying during endingment cause apparently we all love to suffer (is one of my favorites too); and I guess my favorite would be the compilation of all of Wooyoung’s Thanxx outfits (at least the 9 I could find for the set heheh) March I’m not surprised at all to find out the most popular for march was the 97 Line entrance to their cover of Light A Flame... I get it; My favorite tho was YunGi for Ode To Youth... this photoshoot is still one of my favorites and I could have chosen any of the *three sets* I made of this specific part (don’t judge) but in this one I tried a coloring a bit different from my usual and I really liked the result April This was a reeeally slow month cause of some life changes heheh (I literally made only three gifsets, I am shook myself) so I’m not surprised the most popular post was my gfx for Mingyu’s birthday; all my gifsets were for my HwaYunGi in every logbook series and although I like them all I can’t really chose a favorite.... May As expected the most popular post was the one made for Seventeen’s Anniversary (i’m such a sucker for before and afters <3 babiees) and even tho it was a slow month as well, my favorite post was the one for Hongjoong’s cover of Lemon Tree, I really liked the coloring hehe June Now, this is not only the most popular post of the month, but the most popular of the year hahaha ngl I expected the Ateez as Onion Headlines post to do good, but I was overwhelmed all the same ahah I had such a great time making it!! Besides this one (cause I really love it) my favorite is the set I made for my favorite songs of the first half of the year... I love when and idea just works exactly as you want it to July I was so happy with how this post turned out so I’m glad to see that the most popular set of July is the Cheers vs Change Up one; and I have some other favorites in this month be it for coloring or whatever but THIS ILLUSION!JOONG POST was completely robbed for not showing up on the tags... I know he would do so much better if it wasn’t for it... thx tumblr... August The most popular set was this stunning DK during Good Offer GoSe... I understand why, believe me, but this is such a plain set I did not expect to do as well as it did haha and omg I have so many to choose for my favorite.... I discarded some others but I can’t decide between this two and since both kinda have the same appeal to me I give you Pink Cat and Sleepy Pink Bunny Hwa September I have a brand and I’m glad you clearly understand my vision, no wonder the most popular set was the 97 line literally just standing there in suits hahahah Now, again there’s many favorites here... ugh this is hard... I’ll go with my set for Anna with her biases in the special Mama stage (Again, one of those cases where you have an idea and everything just WORKS... so satisfying); But I also have to mention this Pouty Puppy Yunho set because I love the look, I love the coloring and I know it was also robbed by tumblr not adding it to the tags.... October This was THE month of before and after thanks to Ateez’s anniversary and our little countdown event hahaha (I have to mention my two favorite sets of the countdown: Woo for the evolution and Hwa cause I was REALLY proud of the coloring) but no surprise the most popular set was Ateez’s Anniversary d-day; Now, besides the special mentions, my favorite set was this Mingi during tour... not because of my coloring or really anything I did just... THIS MINGI November Time for Atiny’s anniversary and is no wonder the most popular set are our cuties dancing in pajamas to celebrate it hahaha and my favorite set marks not only the end of some long time without a computer but also a new era of coloring since I can’t calibrate the screen and the first time I actually remade a set and was able to visualize how much I’ve improved also DK singing to Smile Flower will always be a vision December I had to have it in my blog and apparently you feel the same cause the most popular post so far is Producer!Joong ... is such a simple look AND YET!! I can’t explain what is it about it but I know you get it... For my favorite I have to go with Paradigm Hwa cause witch/vampire coded Seonghwa is always a win for me

Honestly... If I had not yet admitted to you and to myself that Ateez became my ultimate group this post would be eye opening and quite embarrassing to carat Belle...... I’m still a carat and Dokyeom is still above all other bias, he is the ultimate, but I can’t deny I have been creating waaayyy more for those 8 pirates that just barged into my life AND I’LL SEE THEM LIVE IN MADRID!!! CAN YOU HER ME SCREAM??????

Anyways... I had to share the good news; back to the tag game hehehe I tag @jinniebit and also some newer moots to see what you were doing in the beginning of the year! @jeong-yunhoes @skz-films @chwejongho @dazzlingkai @woosanmas @changbeens @hansolz and @jonghho​

#year in review #such a journey down memory lane #hope you have fun doing it!!! #Ateez #Seventeen #tag game #Belle is babbling #Hi Siyuan 🍳 #Hi Izzie 🌿

[myevilmouse]

i’m so glad i found your post on luke getting electrocuted. I’ve ALWAYS been insanely turned on by that for pretty much the same reasons you said, and I’ve never seen anyone anywhere openly talk about this ever (considering how massive SW is you’d think there’d be at least one out there somewhere). is there anything else you wanted to say about it and how/why you love it? any other weird unorthodox movie moments that turn you on?

not asking to be weird or perverted, i just love to finally have an outlet to express similar but very niche interests

Hey friend! Thanks for this ask! I love asks and yours is a fun one. First of all, if you haven't explored it already, you may enjoy my tag #he suffers so beautifully, which is pretty much all the Luke Skywalker pain in one place. I have another one #bruised battered bleeding where you may also find some yummy Luke...

I actually took a long time to start reblogging Luke in pain images and gifsets (and some I still don't) because they really sort of hurt my heart, no matter how fabulous Mark looks all contorted and wounded. I'm not a huge fan of whump actually, despite those tags ahahah. Don't really read it and you still won't find a lot of "off with his hand" scenes in my archive, for example. But you make an excellent point--some actors are just sexy when they suffer and there ain't nothing wrong with that.

I think one reason some people (yourself included) may find the electrocution scene so much of a turn on is how those muscle spasms, "o" faces, scrunched-up eyes, tousled hair and jerking hips give us a dark/warped mirror to the erotic throes of orgasm. Someone flailing around so elegantly, those long fingers, those tightly-clad legs....yeah.... Sigh.  There’s a reason it’s called la petite mort, you know? 😈

Anyway, definitely don't feel weird or perverted about being into it. I get it. There are whole dissertations about how horror movies, for example, are these psychosexual outlets--examining the penetration of knives as phallic metaphor, etc etc and so forth... Lots of logical connections between agony and ecstasy, in other words.

Also, and I have discussed it here before, the "I am a Jedi" Death Star scenes are really the crowning hotness of all the Luke scenes in the trilogy. Like I don't know how everyone on set kept from creaming their pants that day/those days. Mark looks SO ridiculously sexy both before and after he's zapped, it honestly doesn't surprise me at all that the zapping also is melting everyone's butter.

LOOK AT HIM was grief ever so sexy?!

gif courtesy of @jadedjo

As for other weird movie moments that turn me on, I am a sucker for the blood-spattered hero. I mean, Kevin Costner in Dances With Wolves? Mel Gibson in Braveheart?  I’m dating myself but cut me some slack hahaha

These are dudes who take a lickin' and keep on lookin' lickable muwahahah. So Mark in that bacta tank, absolutely. I even commissioned art for that to have him super 美少年.

I think part of the attraction to these moments is they humanize our larger-than-life heroes, and they look so good doing it...It's like the old anime cliche of that single line of blood on the cheek. Our gods bleed, and that makes them attainable. Or something like that. I'm on a tangent now.  But cinema is full of heroes that only get sexier the more they suffer and angst, so it’s a logical and very understandable kink, imo.  Thank you for this ask anon, and I’m so happy I have content that will feed that thirst for suffering Luke.... I hope you enjoy exploring that tag on my feed and thank you for being a tumblr buddy!

#asks #i like asks #he suffers so beautifully #luke skywalker #mark hamill #bruised battered bleeding #never broken #heroes are sexy #i'll tumblr for ya #my thoughts

[brightsuzaku]

Lately, I've been suffering from the Ace Combat itch again, and by chance saw a little gifset for Chorus last night! So, I sat down and then I THOUGHT A LOT OF THOUGHTS ABOUT FORSA, AGAIN.

There's a place I described to my friends as the "character development wormhole", and it was the game coming out to punch me in the gut and FINALLY ADDRESSING some things that I was super heartened to hear, and also that was some good character development (particularly for Nara, who has been immensely privileged for most of her life).

Like, I love Forsaken a Normal Amount. I love Nara too, but see, my *thing* is how much I love spaceships and when they get to be characters, and their needs, position in power dynamics, and desires are considered, and

arghjblargkebjmurgh i devour this game

I AM NOT VERY GOOD AT PLAYING IT, BUT I LOVE THIS GAME. SO. MUCH.

BTW, as I discovered before I upgraded my GPU, Chorus on the lowest graphical settings looks like the PSX games of your childhood dreams. I needed that to make major space battles actually run correctly, and while that's not a problem anymore, it felt like an aesthetic choice. And that was neat. Otherwise, on non-potato-adjacent settings, the game is beautiful, btw.

I highly, highly recommend it.

#brightsuzaku #text post #chorus the game #Forsaken #i am thinking again about how Forsa got his name and i am going to explode #i love him so much

[casache]

their best hugs are when cas unhesitatingly throws his arms up over dean’s shoulders and dean pauses a second before folding his arms around his lower back. love interest moments.............

#deancas #destiel #spn #life is suffering and i am looking at gifsets. #talks

[fakeikemen]

After seeing this gifset of Mo Xuanyu something has awoken in me and now I must rant about it. 

Here's what I think: Jin Guangyao lied about Mo Xuanyu harassing him.

Not really gonna comment on whether he was actually queer or not because that is completely up in the air. And the things in the story that do point to mxy being queer (all in a negative light) can be disproved. This is speculative yes, but in the same way we speculate about jgy killing Jin Rusong. Jgy kept this entire incident hidden from Lan Xichen. And that’s a little weird because making himself look like a burdened suffering soul in front of lxc was one of his priorities. I don’t see why he wouldn’t weaponize this. Not saying that he has to tell everyone about how he was sexually harassed or that he is obligated to tell it to the people close to him. But lxc was a frequent guest at Lanling. And everyone and their mother at Lanling knows about the fiasco and they don’t try to hide their knowledge of it. Word had spread far enough for rogue cultivators to know. So its a little weird that Lan Xichen has no idea who Mo Xuanyu even is. 

Following further in the vein of even lxc not even catching a whiff of mxy; jgy possibly isolated him from the others. Assuming that mxy was in Lanling for a year atleast and that he was brought there to make him the primary choice for succeeding Jin Guangshan it becomes just much more weirder that lxc doesn’t know him. If he had been someone who was indeed flaunting his attraction to men, (like many believe) he’d have been known.

But mxy was 14 when he was called to Lanling. He had to leave his home and go to a completely foreign place where he would be definitely looked down upon. The Mo family already had a bad public opinion. Mxy’s mother was the daughter of a servant of the Mo family. His social status might have been a bit better than jgy but not by much. I am pretty sure that mxy felt like he was walking on eggshells the whole time. It would have been way too easy for jgy to win over his trust and to isolate him from the others as someone who had a nice and reassuring presence and was also from the lower strata of society and wasn’t looking down at him. Lanling’s hostile environment would’ve definitely helped jgy with this. 

And after cutting off mxy from all the other people, how easy would it have been for jgy to turn around and lie about mxy to everyone else? Jgy may not have been highly regarded by his “family” but he was keeping everything working and talking and making "connections" with other people for years now. Other people noticed and appreciated him (including Wei Wuxian in his first life time.). Jgy can also put on a good show. People would listen to him and believe him. We also know that jgy was already wary of jgs bringing in other illegitimate sons to prevent him from becoming the heir. Jgy would have definitely planned to drive mxy away since the moment he set foot in Carp tower. Mxy probably never stood a chance.

And mxy would have no one to support him or to clear his name. Because he would have only been around jgy (more reason for people to believe that he was into jgy). There was no way for people to believe that mxy was innocent.

But going back to the speculations about mxy being open/loud about being into men being the factor that makes people believe jgy; it's not possible.

The society in MDZS is homophobic. Let’s leave aside historical accuracy because MXTX clearly mentioned in the author’s note that MDZS wasn’t supposed to be historically accurate. Even Wangxian, who seem to be completely unbothered by the homophobia around them, elope and get married. As one does when their marriage is likely forbidden. Not to mention that they are both powerful individuals with immense popularity and are revered or feared by so many and no one would dare oppose them, except close family. (No but fr imagine walking up to the inventor of modao and being “eww u like guys??” and thinking that you can survive that given the reputation that the Yiling Lazhou has. And I think its pretty self explanatory by the way that no one questions Lan Wangji when he drags “mxy” around that no one dares to bring it up.) And later they are shown being apprehensive about the acceptance of their marriage. The banquet extra shows that their marriage is accepted by Gusu Lan because Wei Wuxian sits beside Lan Wangji in it, but before that lwj was called in by Lan Qiren and most probably given another earful along with the grudging acceptance and neither do the other people at the banquet look very happy about wwx’s presence there. Yes, there is also the possibility that all of this was because wwx is the “big bad” who invented modao (and this definitely contributed to the Lan clan being against the marriage as well) but if it was only that, then the prime objective should have been clearing wwx’s name and making people believe that he’s changed for the better, or something idk. But the way wangxian deal with the unacceptance of their relationship seems like the more dominant issue is homophobia.

We also have wwx using the cover of being gay to act up based on the misguided opinions that other people have about queer people (queer people being pervy predators, etc) to make others feel disgusted and make them stay away from him so that he can avoid suspicion. And it works! Because the people are homophobic.

Anyway, that leaves no room for someone from mxy’s hierarchy to walk around freely proclaiming that he likes men without being shunned. It would cut his ticket to the throne real quick as well. Whatever he was doing at Lanling, he wasn’t doing that. (Sidenote: no one in Mo village calls mxy slurs or talks about him being a predator they all seem to be preoccupied with his lunacy and not his sexuality. Which is certainly interesting to note.)

 (Also there is a very neat irony in jgy lying about his half brother harassing him while he’s the one who is married to his own half sister. So yeah.)

#mo xuanyu #mdzs meta #jin guangyao #mdzs #mo dao zu shi #grandmaster of demonic cultivation #actually i like overthinking about mxy more than i'd like to admit #ira's posts

[s1utspeare]

DID SOMEONE SAY BODY LANGUAGE COMPARISON???

I heard the sweet, dulcet tones of acting meta on this post and could not resist her call, so @xcziel, @foxofninetales, this one is for you.

THE LIU CHANG DMBJ CHARACTER META: WANG CAN vs LIU SANG

So first of all lemme just say I love these bitches, and what’s interesting about Liu Chang is that he plays them on opposite ends. There’s not much he can do about the fact that, y’know, he’s the same-ass person, but there are some very distinct differences between Liu Sang and Wang Can, which we will be talking about now.

Liu Sang photo cred: @foxofninetales

Wang Can photo cred: @xcziel

Jiang Wu photo cred: me screenshotting @xia-xueyi’s Moonfall Echo subs (ep. 13)

PART ONE: BODY LINES

I’ve talked about body lines before! But now we get to look at it from the same actor in two different characters! As a recap, straight lines are strong, sturdy, confident, and straightforward; curved lines are weaker, but more interesting and more dynamic.

For example!!

We got our bitch Wang Can here!! This is our first look at this slimy man, and look! He’s like a square!!! All straight lines, all ups and downs. Him body a square!! The costume people also do a great job of boxing him up bc of the tailoring of his jacket, and the two neutral color palette. There’s no embellishments, no decor. This is a straightforward man!! He’s not hiding anything except exactly how much of a bitch he is

(Also notice that his hands are showing and in fists. This will be important in a minute.)

Next, we have our favorite boy Liu Sang, showing up for the first time (ignore the differences in angles):

Oho! He’s a curvy motherfucker!! Aside from the fact that his clothes are now tailored correctly to demonstrate his natural curves, this mans is also curving himself! His arms! Are loose! And bent!! His head and neck aren’t nearly as emphasized! And! AND!!!! His hands are in his fucjing POCKEEETTTSSS. That indicates FURTIVENESS! That indicates MYSTERY! We’re going to find some things OUT about this boy and we’re gonna like it!!!

In comparison, look at Jiang Wu:

LIU CHANG U BEAUTIFUL BITCH. He fucking BENT HIS ARM. He kept one straight and BENT THE OTHER!!! Oh joyous occasion!! We have a DYNAMIC BOY!! but not too dynamic—peep that hidden hand! Also I love this bc it was TWO DIFFERENT LIU CHANG CHARACTERS IN THE SAME SHOW!!! :D see!! Here’s Liu Sang again!

THIS IS A CONFIDENT LIU SANG!!!! He is CHANGED! He is capable of expressing emotions now! Look at just how much body language he has going on, while in comparison, Jiang Wu and Wang Can are like creepy Wood Baby Puppets. His body shape is boxy again, but that’s bc he’s the protagonist of this one. The plot hinges on him, he’s gotta be sturdy.

WHAT WE HAVE DETERMINED SO FAR:

Wang Can is straight lines, no hidden agenda (which is funny cause he’s a Bad Guy)

Liu Sang is dynamic lines and movement, and alludes to mysterious ✨secrets✨

Jiang Wu is a mix of the two and also a dumb dork (that’s not from the body language, I just think he’s funny)

PART TWO: HAIR, BABY!

Once again I owe my life to costuming people. Someday I’ll write that Mystic Nine costuming meta but today we’re focusing on Liu Chang and, specifically, his HAIR PEOPLE!!! I love them and would die for them literally

Once again, ladies and gentlemen and all my glorious they/thems, Wang Can:

OOOOOH I hate his slimy RAT FACE lemme AT EM. Ahem. Regardless, let’s take a look at this BITCH, shall we? We have: straight line face angles!! Very standard shape, BUT this is all accented by the fact that his hair is S C R A P E D back to within an inch of its life, like. Ahem. Sir. Please. Also this man’s got CONTOUR on. If u look at literally any pics/videos of Liu Chang out of character he is NOT this angular. His head is just as rectangular as his body, and the pulled back hair emphasizes his face, which is interesting as he doesn’t do a whole lot with it.

Alternatively, Liu Sang:

This is a nice boy!!! This is a nice soft boy!!! Look his face has CURVES that are emphasized by the glasses (which also draw attention to his eyes, which is good bc that’s where he does the most work, which we’ll get to later) and the HAIR!!! His hair is soft!! It’s flowy! It’s curvy! He conditions!!! This boy is approachable and will Not shoot you One Million Times with a Machine Gun. This also works with the Liu Sang Signature Ponytail, as he leaves thick-enough bang pieces out to also give the illusion of curves around his face. Also his nose and cheekbones are NOT as strongly contoured, so the angularity of his face is softened as well

WHAT WE HAVE DETERMINED SO FAR

dmbj hair and makeup people were doing the absolute most

Wang Can’s hair gives us the most access to The Face, giving him a slick, straight look, and also something else which we will discuss next

Liu Sang is Soft and Curved bc of the hair and glasses, primarily

Oh speaking of fucking which you know who else is soft??? Huang Junjie. That’s the softest man I have ever seen. His xiaoge is my favorite bc it’s perfectly believable that he’s Butter Inside based solely on his Cheeks (again, it’s the hair people doing the Lord’s work)

PART THREE: IT’S ALL IN THE FACE

The face is the actor’s best friend, and Liu Chang definitely uses his well. We know him as being sort of stoic, more on the Xiao-Ge end of things than the Wu Xie side, but if u compare Liu Sang to Wang Can, LS is going HAM with the facials.

Let’s take a look!

Fuck me UP!!!!!! Look at him!! This is one of the earlier episodes too so we haven’t even gotten to the real good stuff but!!!! Look at his eyebrows!!! Look at how wide his eyes get (once again, the glasses are jumbotroning the peepers)! Look at his unhappy lil mouth!! That’s a whole REALM of facial expression, and so early on in our journey!

Meanwhile, Fuckboy Prime:

(Pardon the garbage screencap, my laptop broke on me this week and I am Suffering)

This is at the very end of Wang Can’s time with us; he’s fighting and he’s going to die and he KNOWS it, but this bitch doesn’t even draw his eyebrows together. Mcwhomst???? Bitch u GOTTA give us more than that I’m BEGGING u

The other interesting thing about their differing facial expressions is that Liu Sang emotes mostly with his eyes, and Wang Can emotes mostly with his mouth. This is very obvious in the clip @xcziel posted, esp when he starts doing the whole gesturing-with-his-chin thing, but it’s prominent throughout.

These two screenshots were taken like fifteen seconds apart. He does a whole face journey, but only with his mouth. His eyes stay fixed; they move, sure, but they don’t get any wider or anything like that.

Liu Sang, however is always doing stuff with his eyes. For example (I couldn’t find an image of it quick enough but I know that @kholran has this gifset), the sacrifice scene where he looks up at Wu Xie with the biggest, most pleading and questioning eyes imaginable?? Kills me. The DEPTH in those bad boys. Fuck me UP.

This also checks out when we remember the glasses. Since they emphasize the eyes, we’re drawn to that part of Liu Sang’s face, so it makes sense that the majority of his expression would happen there. This is also prominent with his hearing abilities; whenever he’s trying to focus them (or get us to focus on him), he not only turns his eyes away, he SHUTS THEM, which means we as the audience know that there’s something going on underneath the surface, and really highlights the fact that this is an unusual and cool power!

With Wang Can, however, the structure of his face and absence of Hair Curves directs the eye to his mouth, so we watch that to tell what’s going on in his head. It’s all about directing the eye, and Liu Chang is very good at knowing where people are going to be looking!

SO: WHAT HAVE WE LEARNED?

Liu Sang, Wang Can, and Jiang Wu are all very distinctly characterized through their body language

The same actor becomes different characters by using their toolkit (the body) to its full potential

Hair and makeup people are Wizards

Wang Can is a Whole-Ass Ho and I do not miss him even a little bit

Liu Sang’s body dynamics change over time and I love that for him!!

I’m a giant nerd the end

#this is a long boy but I’m a nerd and enjoy drawing Arrows #liu sang #wang can #liu chang #dmbj #dmetabj #my meta #acting meta #tomb of the sea #the lost tomb reboot #moonfall echo

[stubbychaos]

A Dishonest Woman

Chapter 9 of Saviin’ika

Part 1|Part 2|Part 3|Part 4|Part 5|Part 6|Part 7|Part 8

Masterlist Pairing: Paz Vizsla x Nurse!Reader

Summary: Paz is determined to have the one that has caused you so much pain to kneel for you, though you’re surprised to find another begging for forgiveness at your feet after all is said and done and blood has been shed.

Rating: M

Word Count: 12,700

Warnings: There’s some pretty intense injuries and mentions of having to pop bones back into place, as well as blood and stitches. There’s also brief mentions of the aftermath of the sexual assault attempt.

Just a quick mention as well: I wanted to thank @lackofhonor for giving me the inspiration for a cute little idea for this chapter about the other Mandos being mischievous :) Also thank you to @datmando​ for always letting me scream at you about all my chaotic ideas <3

Author’s note will be at the end, but one last thank you to @coredrive​ for blessing all of us with that beautiful gifset of Paz!!

You nearly cry the second you see Paz inch the bounty hunter’s helmet upwards to the point where the tip of a scruffy tan chin is revealed. 

Horror fills your heart and soul at the thought of watching a Mandalorian’s helmet be removed. 

You jolt forward, but Ima is quick to wrap her arms around your waist, effectively stopping you from accidentally getting hurt and even though you feel a pain shoot up your side from your cauterized wound, it doesn’t stop you from screaming out right before the helmet is just below his bottom lip.

“Paz!”

Immediately, the room is cast in silence and even though you should feel terrified at the fact that dozens of t-shaped visors are now pointed in your direction, you can only focus on the way Paz lets go of the bounty hunter, not even realizing you had been watching the entire fight. Immediately, the unconscious man slips to the ground with a loud ringing noise that has you cringing as you try to wriggle desperately against Ima’s tight hold. Everyone’s visor watches you struggle feebly against the young warrior and she hisses at you desperately to stop--that it is dishonorable to interrupt such a battle.

You gasp when Paz easily flips the bounty hunter over onto his back, pressing his boot harshly against his cuirass and you panic as you listen to the hunter’s gurgling noises from underneath where the lip of his helmet is still miraculously resting on his chin.

“Tell her you’re sorry, Djarin!” Paz roars, circling around him like a predator taunting its prey and your shoulders hunch up a little, “Maybe I’ll give her your helmet when I’m finished with you--bet she could sell that for a lot more than five hundred credits. How much is that shiny Beskar worth? Probably far more than the pathetic price put on her head.”

When he doesn’t respond, Paz sends a mighty kick to the hunter’s ribs--one similar to what he had dealt to your father--and you let out a small whimper and turn your head up to colorful Mandalorian, emphasizing the contempt in your voice as much as you possibly can.

“If you don’t let me go, I won’t ever look at you or Paz the same again.”

Ima doesn’t say anything and you seize up when you watch Paz produce a vibroblade.

The blade that had been taken from you the night before after slaying the trandoshan.

“Do you realize what you made her do with this?”

The bounty hunter remains lifeless as Ima stares down at you and fear grips your heart so tightly when you hear the young Mandalorian groaning from the intense pain. He doesn’t even attempt to choke out pathetic little apologies and you’re certain he must be unconscious underneath that scorching hot helmet.

“Please,” You beg her, a tear trickling down your cheek as you think of someone having their life ruined just because of you, “I am supposed to help those who are hurt, not watch them suffer.”

Angrily, Paz tosses the blade onto the floor, seeming to prefer to use his hands to inflict pain and it makes everything seem far more personal, considering weapons were supposed to be a part of his religion.

“What?” Paz grabs him by his cowl to bring him to his knees, though he’s slumped forward in a weak position; you squeeze your eyes shut and recoil when your warrior all but picks him up and slams him into the slim steel bars on the side of the forge, “Can’t handle a little pain, vod’ika? She seemed to handle it just fine when you were delivering her to her death! Managed to even fight back against the one you sold her to, you fucking coward--you’re not even going to try to fight me?”

The bounty hunter is lifelessly propped up against the forge.

Finally, Ima lets out a deep sigh and reluctantly lets go of you.

Immediately you surge forward, not caring there’s a possibility that you can get hurt in the intense altercation.

You cry out Paz’s name again when he sends a harsh blow to the side of the bounty hunter’s helmet with a powerful swing of his huge, heavy gauntlet and you are quick to stop him in his attempt to further hurt the bounty hunter.

He pulls his arm to the side and back, ready to deliver another heavy hit to the bounty hunter’s helmet and you quickly latch onto the big yellow gauntlet, careful not to press any buttons so you don’t incinerate yourself or anyone else with his flamethrower. You feel the way he instantly stops himself from swinging his huge appendage forward, perhaps out of fear of hurting you and his helmet quickly snaps to the side to look at your teary eyes that barely poke over his bicep. 

He could easily shove you out of the way, and even though you just watched the damage he inflicted on one of his own, you still trust him not to hurt you.

But you will not let him do this--you refuse.

“What are you--?”

“I would not let you put him through anymore,” You plead in a desperate, hushed whisper, trying to keep your conversation private from the others, though you’re certain they all hear it, “I would not let you put him through the same pain that I have gone through--of losing his family.”

Paz doesn’t even move an inch or say a word, but he allows you to put yourself between him and the bounty hunter and simply stares at you; you’re certain if you were anyone else, you would have been dead the second you challenged him. 

You’re not just anyone though and you finally understand that.

You’re the one he had confessed his love to only the night before and had trusted enough to bring to his tribe; you were the one that he had taken his helmet off for, even if it was in the darkness of a safe place. While you understood that his anger came from a place of intense pain from nearly losing the one he loved, you could not just stand by and watch while he made that sort of decision for you, not when you couldn’t mentally handle watching someone have their life taken from them so soon after the Trandoshan incident.

No, even though Paz so desperately wanted his revenge, it suddenly did not feel like his duty to seek vengeance for you when you were still alive.

“Please Paz,” You crouch down next to the bounty hunter, pressing your fingers to his neck to check for a pulse point to make sure he’s not actually dead, “I think he has endured enough punishment, don’t you?”

“No, I fucking don’t think he’s learned his lesson! What he did to you was unforgivable!” Paz seethes and you let out a little sigh of relief when you finally detect a steady pulse, though Paz’s thunderous voice has you on edge, “You’re really going to let this go so easily?!”

He’s never raised his voice with you and even though you can tell it’s most likely from the adrenaline, you feel your worry slowly give way to anger.

“Please, do not yell at me,” You whip your head to give him an incredulous glare over your shoulder and you hear some of the others murmur to one another as Paz takes a small step back, though he is quick to compose himself, “I did not say I forgive him, but I do not wish to see any more bloodshed because of me, Mandalorian. I know what he did--I was there.”

“Then why won’t you let me make him apologize to you?” He hisses in a low voice, watching as you inspect his dislocated shoulder with great tenderness, “He doesn’t deserve your help when he showed you no such courtesy.”

“Because I am a nurse and it is my job to help others, Paz. He is your family and even if you or I do not like him right now, I do not wish for one of your own to die when I could have saved them,” You turn to face him once again, your brows pinched together in frustration you’ve never felt towards your blue warrior and you hate the fact that you’re even arguing with him over the bounty hunter in the first place, “If he is to apologize to me, I want it to be because he truly feels sorry for what he did, not because you beat him within an inch of his life. Now please, would you help me take him to… wherever it is the wounded are treated here?”

Paz is frozen to his spot and it feels like you’re staring each other down for eternity, everyone else watching the silent interaction with what you’re sure is curiosity and shock that their heavy-infantry warrior is letting his little nurse talk to him in such a way. You realize suddenly how stubborn this man can be--even towards you--and for some reason that only makes your irritation grow as you think of how soft and easy-going he had been with you the previous night when it had just been the two of you.

Is he doing this because he’s afraid of looking like a pushover in front of his tribe?

“He didn’t even want you here,” Paz eventually sneers, pointing his thumb and index finger in the unconscious man’s direction, choosing to argue even more with you and you feel your heart sink to the pit of your stomach, “He is the reason why I was fighting so hard for you to be a part of the tribe in the first place! You think the one who was so insistent on not having you here is suddenly worthy of being tended to by you? While you were suffering, he was planning your death and I was begging for your place in the tribe.”

“I’ve been suffering my whole life, Paz,” You remind him with an angry lilt in your voice, lightly tapping the bounty hunter’s helmet in an attempt to wake him, though he simply offers you a garbled noise in response, “This is no different than anything else I’ve been through, okay? Just let me take care of his injuries and then the three of us can talk it out and--”

Then he says your name in the most contemptuous tone you’ve ever heard from him and ice pumps through your veins at his next words.

“Sometimes, I think you are too fucking soft for your own good.”

You immediately freeze, staring up at him in shock as you register the warrior’s bitter tone and you don’t even know what to say or how to process the intense pain and sadness that threatens to overwhelm you like a raging tidal wave.

You think of what he had said upon admitting his love for you the first time, how he had spoken sweet words of the way he admired how compassionate and soft you were--how utterly devoted he had sounded--and you begin to doubt yourself.

“And what would you do when he grows tired of you?”

You remember your father’s cruel words and tears instantly fill your eyes at the fact that you’re letting him get to you in a place where Paz had promised you’d be safe from him and you hear the other Mandalorians murmurs grow more tense. They must be admonishing you for talking back to such a powerful member of their tribe, but you suddenly don’t care what they think and hastily wipe away a tear that slips down your cheek, shaking off Paz’s unusually bitter words.

But you can’t shake it off, you realize, as your bottom lip quivers as his words hang over your heart heavier than what his Beskar must weigh down on his own shoulders.

Paz immediately seems to forget his anger towards the bounty hunter, his shoulders falling a little as he hears yours sniffles when you turn back towards the unconscious man at your feet, your hands now shaking.

Anger and confusion swells deep within you as you keep thinking of your estranged father’s words, leaning lower to grab the bounty hunter’s uninjured arm to tug it around your shoulders; you want to cry harder as you try to stand up and support his weight, though he is far too heavy for you to lift. You hear Paz step forward, but then you also hear Imalia’s hushed, angry voice, followed by hasty little footsteps making their way over to you.

“Go cool down somewhere else, I’ll take care of this, di’kut,” Ima says in a firm voice, crouching down next to you as she wraps her arms around the bounty hunter’s waist and helps you haul him to his feet. You’re too angry and upset to admire the physical strength this teenage girl has and a part of you is half tempted to ask if she can knock some sense into your blue warrior.

Paz is staring right at you as you risk a glance up in his direction as you and Imalia guide the unconscious bounty hunter to the tribe’s infirmary and you hate that he’s refusing to say anything to you, so for once, you speak up first.

“You are not a cruel man,” You whisper fiercely to him, clenching your jaw a little when you notice his tight fists unfurl as he sees your tears burning your eyes like lit coals, “And I do not believe you to be one, but I do not like seeing this side of you and I pray I did not make a mistake coming here if this is how I am to be treated by you in front of your sisters and brothers.” 

“Saviin’ika, I shouldn’t have--”

“Do not call me that, right now!” You snap with a shaky cry, earning a few more murmurs from his armored family, and you watch as Paz recoils from how upset and raw you suddenly sound, “I am not some sort of punching bag or target used for practice, Mandalorian, and I am sick and tired of being used as one. I would not let you tear someone away from their family--the ones he loves--because of me!” You argue fiercely, hating that you have to force yourself not to flinch upon hearing the bounty hunter’s pained groans as his scorching helmet slips to the side and onto your shoulder, “I may love you, but I refuse to watch you ruin this man’s life because he made a foolish mistake. Shouldn’t this be my choice?”

“But--”

“Are you even listening to what she’s trying to say?” Imalia is quick to snap at him as well, not holding back nearly as much as you did, “This isn’t your fight to fight, okay?! Saviin is right, if he’s going to apologize to her, he should do it because he genuinely means it.”

“And how do you know he will apologize in the first place?”

Everyone stares at you, but you’re still focused on Paz and how tense he is as he listens to Ima’s insistent voice, “Because, Saviin is the reason why he still has his helmet and his family, despite the fact that he nearly took everything from her; only a demagolka would not say sorry to her. Trust me, he will apologize upon hearing that she protected him from losing so much. Please, just go cool down Uncle, you’re not thinking right.”

Then Ima lowers her tone a little, sounding softer when she realizes you still have tears in your eyes, “Mirdir be pehea gar kelir sirbur Ni ceta at kaysh.”

Even though he’s tried to keep his composure in front of his people, you instantly see the way his shoulders slump completely and his helmet drops at the soft bite in the young Mandalorian’s hushed words as you and her continue forward, the Beskar sea of huge Mandalorians parting to let the three of you through. The bounty hunter mumbles incoherent statements as Imalia tells you which way to turn your body and you think that he’s most certainly concussed by the way he slurs his sentences.

You pray that they have bacta.

“I’m sure it is not as fancy or professional as what you’re used to, but this is our little infirmary. It hasn’t been used in a long time, but I’m sure you could spruce it up a little,” Ima sighs and grunts as she gracelessly flops the Mandalorian onto a creaky cot upon entering a little alcove, though you find it not too terribly different than your own tiny office at the village infirmary except for the fact that everything is covered in a thick layer of dust, “I am not sure if you are able to help him too much or if you even want to, but--”

“Can you find me whatever medical supplies your tribe may have?” You cut off her sheepish ranting, not hesitating to remove the Mandalorian’s pauldrons, utility belt, and cuirass as you inspect the severity of his dislocated shoulder and a deep gash that Paz had managed to inflict upon his lower abdomen, “Tools for sutures, bacta patches or shots, disinfectant--things like that? Soapy rags and perhaps a bowl of warm water?”

Ima immediately grows silent and you’re surprised by the teenager’s willingness to help you as you turn away to wash any germs from your hands with hot water, not allowing your blue warrior’s harsh words to get the best of your nerves. Immediately, you’re pulling drawers open, gathering whatever antibiotics and disinfectants you can find, thinking that this Mandalorian probably needs whatever he can get after taking such a beating from Paz.

“Goodness,” You sigh, shoulders falling as you inspect the deep gash that is just stretched along his left hip and you shake your head a little as you think of the wound he’d forced you to cauterize as Ima hastily approaches you with what looks to be an unused suture kit.

“Your name… it’s Din Djarin, right?” You question quietly, not even sure if he’s fully conscious or if he’s completely gone as Imalia approaches you with a metal tray with several supplies lying on top; immediately, you perk up when you see a tiny bottle filled with bacta and a syringe. She watches in silence as you are hasty and efficient to fill the syringe with the miracle substance, stabbing the long needle somewhere underneath his helmet, near the base of his skull to hopefully help with whatever brain trauma he’s experiencing.

“You--” The bounty hunter is slurring his words as he attempts to sit up on the little cot, though Ima is quick to force him back down with a steady hand against his chest while you get to work on untucking his dark tunics from his pants so you can get a better look at the damage, “Y-You’re helping me?”

You don’t say anything as Ima hands you a warm wet rag to clean the blood away from his skin and you lean in a little closer to make sure there’s no debris in the wound or that it doesn’t already look infected. You gracefully begin the process of stitching his severe wound at his tanned abdomen, earning small grunts and groans from the young bounty hunter who is clearly uncomfortable in his current position, though he seems more coherent and aware of his surroundings. Ima remains behind you and a part of you wonders why, if she’s worried the bounty hunter is going to try something with you or if she’s simply fascinated by simple medical procedures.

“Are you bleeding under there?” You ask the injured man quietly, referring to his shiny helmet that you think must still be scorching hot; he continues to stare up at the ceiling and you hope he hasn’t passed out again, fearing what kind of damage Paz might have caused to his brain. He could be on the verge of death and you wouldn’t even know, you realize with disdain, not liking that you can’t properly treat your patient.

“Even if I was, I wouldn’t let you take my helmet off, outsider.”

You scoff and shake your head, though Ima is diligent and hasty to admonish the hunter, “I do not think you are in any position to be giving our nurse any attitude, not after she stood up for you in front of nearly the whole tribe.”

Finally, he rolls his helmet to the side to peer down at your hunched over form as you take your time to stitch the deep wound, “Stood up for me?”

“Yeah, di’kut,” Ima huffs and you hear her shift around behind you, “Uncle Paz was about to take your stupid helmet off and saviin’ika stopped him right before he could, even defended what little honor you still possess; she even got in a fight with uncle over you. I don’t think you really deserved her mercy since you didn’t even want her here in the first place--since you sold her for five hundred credits.”

Your cheeks flare up and you shake your head a little, trying to think of your life being worth more than a pouch of credits.

He’s quiet for a few thoughtful moments and he lets out with a pained grunt as you eventually finish stitching the wound, “Why?”

You swallow the lump in your throat and let out with a sad sigh as you clean the blood away from the bruised skin around the sutures, shaking your head a little, “I know what would happen if he would have removed your helmet, Mandalorian. You would have lost everything and everyone you love--those you call family--and I would not wish that upon my worst enemy.”

“But I--”

“I know what you did to me,” You scowl, plastering a large bandage to the stitches to protect it from any debris, “Trust me, I know, but I’ve also felt the loss and grief that comes from losing your loved ones. I lost my mother and… and someone so very dear to me when I was a little girl and that kind of pain is one that you never recover from.”

“I…” The bounty hunter seems to be at a loss for words and you think he must not know how to express his feelings with words nearly as well as Paz, “Thank you.”

You huff a little and urge him to lay down flat on his back so you can properly treat his dislocated shoulder, “Just because I understand your pain does not mean I would ever forget what you’ve done. I would only tolerate you for your family.”

You hear him groan a little as you place your hand just underneath his armpit and use the other to grab his wrist, lightly guiding his arm to the side and closer to you, “What are you doing?”

“I am popping your shoulder back into place,” You frown when he reaches out towards you with his uninjured arm, but he is quick to drop it upon seeing you flinch and Ima tensing up.

“I can do it myself,” He says stubbornly, though you simply keep your hands in place, your brows furrowing when he begins to undermine you, “That requires a lot of force to put it back into place and you don’t look like you can--”

With as much strength you can muster, you yank his arm harshly towards you until you hear the sickening pop of the head of his humerus slipping beyond the lip of his shoulder cup and you hate that you feel a little inkling of satisfaction when you hear his pained groans and erratic wheezing. You think of the several times you’ve had to pop your own shoulder back into place after taking a rough beating, and how excruciating the first time had been--how you had nearly passed out--and you wonder if this is the first time he has experienced such pain.

"I know how to do my job, Mandalorian," Your cheeks burning fiercely with irritation towards the man you stood up for, “I can’t say the same for you.”

Ima snorts her amusement from behind you as you fashion a sling using his cape, all while dealing with the fussy bounty hunter who you’re certain is struggling to not give you a piece of his mind.

“You could have at least done it slower so it wouldn’t be as painful.”

“I would say I am sorry and that I feel bad, but I am not a dishonest woman.”

You hear Ima wheezing behind you, struggling to contain her giggles, though she eventually loses the battle and lets out loud guffaws that have you shaking your own head with amusement.

Eventually, Imalia takes her leave when another Mandalorian enters the room to inform her that the armorer requires the teen’s presence, the larger warrior eyeing the way you’re hovering over the young bounty hunter with an irritated expression on your face before leaving the two of you alone. You’re in the process of stitching yet another smaller cut on the inside of his elbow that you had somehow missed during your lengthy inspection and you wonder just how long Paz had been fighting the bounty hunter before you showed up.

“I’m…” You barely tilt your head up at the sound of his raspy voice before turning back to your handiwork, thinking he’s going to say something rude or snarky, “I am sorry, for what it’s worth--for all the pain I’ve caused you and Paz.”

Your brows quirk up in response to the shock his words cast on you, though you shake it off and glance up at his visor for a quick second, “I don’t know if I can forgive you knowing that you knew what the Trandoshan wanted to do with me, but I appreciate the apology.”

He seems to relax a little and lets out with a crackly sigh as he continues to stare at your concentrated facial expression, “You mentioned your dress when I was taking you back in the speeder,” Instantly, you freeze at the way he speaks so nonchalantly about something that will haunt you forever, “Did he…?”

“N-No,” You murmur weakly, suddenly feeling nauseous as you struggle to not think of the harsh pressure of the Trandoshan’s hand groping you, “He uh--I s-stopped him before I… Paz’s blade.”

Even though you can barely string together a coherent sentence, the Mandalorian still manages to understand, “Does Paz know?”

“No,” You say a little more firmly, finishing up with tending to the minor wound and giving him a cursory glance, “And I plan to keep it that way.”

You find a bacta patch on the tray of items that Ima had left for you on the bedside table and carefully take it out of its plastic wrapper, placing it tenderly along the area on his ribs where Paz had kicked him.

He’s quiet as you help him fix his tunics and put his armor back in place, sheepishly holding out the pauldron that you advise for him to not wear on his bruised, swollen shoulder for at least a week, though you doubt the stubborn man will listen to you. You half expect him to get up and leave the room the moment you stand up and wash your hands in the little sink, though he simply lets out with another crackly sigh as he continues to lay on the cot that is much bigger than the one from your old office.

“He would not think of you any differently if you told him of the criminal’s intentions with you, if that’s why you’re afraid to tell him.”

You sigh, thinking of the words Paz had spewed at you earlier and you slowly plop back down on the chair as you reluctantly keep the bounty hunter company, crossing your arms over your chest, “Let’s not talk about this anymore, okay? Besides, it’s not like it matters, not when I got into a fight with him and yelled at him in front of his tribe. I disrespected him and I’ll probably be out of here by the end of the day.”

“You won’t--I’m sure of it,” He rasps in that cool tone, though there’s still a twinge of pain laced in his filtered voice as he lets out another deep sigh, “I know how he is, how he never really thinks with his head.”

“The same could be said for you as well,” You huff, earning an annoyed sigh from the bounty hunter, “Are you two actually brothers by blood?”

“No, and he made that clear the day I was brought into the tribe,” You tuck your cold hands between your thighs and tilt your head a little at the implications of his amused words, though one sticks out to you the most.

“You were a foundling.”

“Yes,” He grunts, almost seeming awkward and unknowing of how to hold a conversation with someone, “Paz was one of the first ones to talk to me--pretty much told me to stay out of his way. He was never kind to me, but he always made sure none of the others hurt me. He was an angry child, but eventually grew out of it. Still hotheaded like no other though.” 

You smile a little at that, remembering the first time you had met him and how you had thought the exact same thing, “I was scared of him when I first met him too.”

“I know--he came back to the covert and was beating himself up for making a bad first impression,” The bounty hunter scoffs, only continuing when you tuck a lock of hair behind your warm ear, “He always wanted to be the strongest in tribe and all he cared about was being the most powerful, but then one day he came back talking about the village nurse.”

You wonder why this bounty hunter is telling you all of this and before you can ask, he speaks calmly.

“I’ve never seen him more passionate about anything or anyone more than he is about you,” He grunts, almost sounding exasperated as he shakes his helmet a little, “Paz could talk about you for the longest time and I’m pretty sure he has with all the kids when the rest of us get tired of listening to him. He would not get rid of you and is probably kicking himself in the back of his helmet for whatever he said.”

Your face feels like it’s on fire as you think of your usually grouchy warrior going to the covert after spending time with you, only to ramble to his family about you.

“How did you know that he was the one in the wrong? I thought you were unconscious.”

“I know Paz,” Din repeats, sounding utterly unamused as he shakes his helmet and stares up at the ceiling in a thoughtful silence for a few seconds, “I know how he gets when he’s mad and how he doesn’t think straight.”

You clench your jaw a little, still thinking of the pain lingering in your chest because of what your blue warrior had said to you in a fit of rage that had been a result of the bounty hunter.

“It still gave him no right,” You surmise, earning a small hum from Din, “And if he expects me to apologize so I can keep my place here, I refuse.”

You think over his words carefully for a few, the two of you growing silent and you think out of all the Mandalorians you’ve met, he must be the quietest out of all of them, most likely used to living a life of solitude because of his job. Then you think of the time Paz had told you the loneliness he felt during his own travels and you wonder if this Mandalorian feels the same, though you still find it difficult to pity him and you stare thoughtlessly at his shiny helmet. Your eyes burn as you think of this bounty hunter hearing the Trandoshan and all of his plans for you and your chest heaves as you think of the bounty hunter simply not caring.

“I need to know and please be honest,” You plead in a shaky whisper after a few minutes of awkward silence, earning his unwavering attention as his visor moves to stare at you, “Do you actually regret what you did? Or is it just because of me knowing Paz?”

“I…” He sounds conflicted as he shifts around in an uncomfortable manner, watching the way your eyes fill with tears at the thought of him so easily giving you away to someone so cruel, “I know I am a cruel man--much crueler than Paz--but you are the first quarry I’ve ever felt guilt for.”

Tears still burn your eyes and you are quick to rub them away before they can actually fall as you listen to the young bounty hunter try to collect his thoughts.

“I kept hearing your screams, that’s why I came back. I thought he would just leave your body after killing you, but then I saw you and you were just staring at Paz’s blade,” He admits with a frustrated sigh and you think this must be incredibly difficult for him to talk about, especially when he seems so out of tune and defiant towards feeling any emotion, only focused on his next paycheck with no regards for the lives and families he’s ruining.

“I knew right away who you were and…” He cuts himself off before he can reveal too much, turning his helmet to stare back up at the ceiling, “Paz talks a lot about you, but he always spoke of how you did not deserve to live a life in the village--that you were too kind. Most of my bounties are criminals, people who deserve to be imprisoned.”

For some reason, knowing that he came back because he felt bad, rather than suspecting you were associated with Paz eases the ache in your heart, though you find your nails curling painfully into the fabric covering your knees. You don’t trust him and he knows it, judging by the way he keeps his movements slow and his visor pointed away from your face, and you’re grateful when he doesn’t try to offer you comfort because you know it would not come from his heart.

“Paz was right--you were an easy target and that’s why I accepted the job,” The bounty hunter informs you and it only makes you feel worse, knowing that you’re constantly being targeted because others believe you to be so weak, “I’m sorry.”

“I won’t ever be the same because of you.”

He doesn’t say anything and you wonder if he even feels the slightest inclination or twinge of guilt. 

Then you wonder where Paz is, if he’s calmed down enough to talk to you about what’s going on in his mind and dread fills you at the thought of him still being upset with you; what if standing up for Din had ruined everything between you and the blue warrior?

Had this all really been worth it?

“I want to see Paz, but I don’t know this place,” You inform the bounty hunter weakly and you hate how badly your heart is currently aching and you hate that you still long to see the blue warrior after the way he spoke to you, though you think most of it was caused by adrenaline and anger towards his brother, “Do you know where he would be? I need to talk to him.”

You need a proper explanation and an apology.

The bounty hunter lets out with a loud, dramatic grunt as he forces himself up into a sitting position before giving you a sharp nod, “Follow me.”

Your eyes widen as he heaves himself off of the medical cot with a pained groan, though he holds a hand out when you step forward to help him, silently explaining that he does not require your help. Even though you can tell he’s in severe pain, he doesn’t say a word as he hobbles out of the little infirmary and straightens his posture, as though he’s determined to not look weak in front of you or anyone else. You’re nearly tempted to reach out and hold onto his elbow simply out of instinct after spending so much time with the blue Mandalorian, though you force yourself not to as he silently guides you down the small staircase that Paz had helped you down the previous night. He now leads you in a completely different direction and your eyes widen when the atmosphere around you somehow grows warmer and a little lighter.

“Where are you taking me?”

“To the nursery,” The bounty hunter answers and it fills you with both excitement and fear, “That’s usually where he goes when he’s upset--likes spending time with the kids.”

Your brows furrow, wondering why your big blue warrior finds solace in an environment surrounded by little ones who probably enjoy screaming his ears off whenever they have the chance, though you don’t argue and follow closely behind the bounty hunter. You feel eager to meet the little ones in the tribe and you curiously wonder how many there are and how young or old they must be--do they all wear helmets? Or just some?

As soon as you hear the familiar sound of angry little squeaks in the distance, you immediately perk up and grin as you breakaway from the Mandalorian and rush forward to turn a sharp corner. Instantly, you hear the sound of rocks clanking against stone walls and you let out a loud giggle when you spot a tiny, crimson-eyed creature yipping furiously at you.

“Oh, my little one!” You exclaim with a soft little cry, scooping her up into your awaiting arms the moment she makes her way to you in an awkward hobble, her front leg still trapped between the splint you dutifully gave her two nights ago, “Oh, I am so sorry for what I did to you! I did not want to throw you like that, I swear it. It was all the bounty hunter’s fault.”

She's a wriggly little thing as she alternates between nuzzling her wet snout against your cheek and letting out with excited little squeaks and you laugh at her eagerness to see you again. Somewhere behind you, the bounty hunter sighs and you are quick to soothe the vulptex when she peers over your shoulder to give him the fiercest growl she can muster, though it’s more of a high-pitched whine. A content sigh leaves you as you pet her white, rocky head tenderly, admiring the way the dim lighting seems to reflect off of her opalescent coat; your hands seem to calm her and you watch as she turns her head to slowly blink up at you with contentment.

Din shakes his head as he continues to guide you through the covert, watching you as you comfort and soothe your little companion to the point where she’s nearly falling asleep, her head lightly bobbing as she tries to battle her exhaustion. Eventually, she gives up and rests her little head against your stomach as the bounty hunter takes you through a small entrance and into an alcove that is far warmer than the rest of the enclave.

“This whole mess for just a little runt.”

You furrow your brows, though it’s not anger and spite you feel towards his heartless words, but rather confusion and curiosity.

“What if it was a youngling you had been sent to kill or retrieve rather than a vulptex?”

“It’s not the same,” He answers without hesitation, turning his head to stare straight ahead.

“In a way, it kind of is though,” You stubbornly argue with him, your frown deepening as you tilt your head to the side and try to get a better sense of this man’s enigmatic mind, “Is she not an innocent, breathing creature that feels fear and pain? Sure, she may not be able to speak, but that shouldn’t lessen her worth. So tell me, bounty hunter, what if one of your quarries was a child--perhaps one too young to speak their fears aloud? Would the reward on their head matter more than your ability to not let it haunt you when you can’t sleep at night?”

He doesn’t say anything for a few moments and you feel your heart drop as you gaze down at your sleeping vulptex, pondering how anyone could possibly harm a child, let alone deliver them to their death. Suddenly, you wonder if you had made a mistake in not letting Paz take the bounty hunter’s helmet off, thinking him to not be honorable in the slightest.

“I would not hurt a child.”

“That was not the question I asked you,” You scoff at him, feeling your heart thrum angrily in your chest, “And your hesitation told me all I need to know about you. I am glad I did not accept your apology.”

He doesn’t say anything, choosing to remain silent as he glances down at your slumbering vulptex with a slight tilt to his shiny helmet; you pray to the Maker that you’ve hurt his pride today, what with having to stop Paz from making him lose everything.

You wonder how he feels now that the outsider he had so vehemently denied having in the tribe was the one that had saved his place in the covert.

The rest of your journey is spent in a tense silence.

You perk up a little upon hearing loud giggles and little voices as the two of you approach a concealed entrance, though it is suddenly replaced with silence as you step inside the warmer alcove. Instantly, you are face to face with at least a dozen--probably more--little ones who are all staring up at you, most likely not used to seeing an adult without a helmet on their head, though some of them wear helmets themselves. You’re so focused and caught off guard by how many younglings reside in the covert that you’re not even aware of Paz emerging from another room that’s attached to the nursery, or the way the bounty hunter makes haste to leave before being spotted.

“Saviin’ika?” He sounds surprised as he utters the name that everyone at the covert seems to know you by, and your eyes widen when all the younglings instantly crowd around you, their little faces stretched with happy smiles as though you are no stranger to them. Some of them are showing you their little toys and stuffed animals, while others are babbling excited, incoherent words and...

Maker, what have you gotten yourself into?

You thought the bounty hunter was exaggerating when he spoke of how much Paz talks about you to the little ones, but as numerous grubby little hands reach up for you, you realize just how honest he was being.

You realize why Paz comes here to seek out comfort though, and you smile fondly when a little boy--no older than five--hugs your knee tightly and stares up at you with wonder and sadness shimmering brightly in his eyes. Some of them are more focused on the vulptex cub who had been startled awake amidst all the adorable chaos, but most of them throw random questions and comments at you faster than what you imagine a ship’s hyperspeed to be and you suddenly feel a little overwhelmed.

Paz must sense it because he steps in immediately and somehow manages to shoo away all the reluctant little ones, though the little boy remains attached to your leg and you can’t stop yourself from reaching down to gently stroke the back of his head in a comforting manner. The gesture earns you a shy smile from him, his wide eyes glimmering up at you and you think something must have previously caused him some sort of despair, what with the dried tear tracks on his flushed cheeks, so you find yourself crouching down to make him feel less small. After placing your disgruntled vulptex on the floor, who immediately finds enjoyment in the presence of one of the excited younglings, you hold a hand out for the little one to take and he instantly latches onto it with both of his.

Even though you’re still upset and hurt from Paz’s words and you’re certain he must still be irritated with you, the two of you don’t acknowledge it out of respect for the little one’s already intense emotions.

“Why are you so sad, little one?”

He simply stares at you and your chest aches when he doesn’t say anything, though Paz steps in once again and crouches down next to the two of you, carefully cupping the back of his head, “He is the tribe’s newest foundling.”

It takes you a second to understand, but when you do, Maker, it breaks your heart to think of a child so young and fragile losing everyone he loves and your eyes instantly burn with tears, though you force yourself not to let them fall.

“Well, everything is going to be okay--you want to know why?” You keep your voice steady for the little one who must feel so afraid and alone, but you give his hand a reassuring squeeze when he eagerly nods, “You are surrounded by the bravest, strongest warriors in the entire galaxy and they won’t let anything happen to you, because you are loved by them.”

Immediately, the boy launches himself towards you and wraps his tiny arms around your neck, and when you look up at Paz, his visor staring intently at your sad eyes, you finally let a tear fall for the little boy and all the other ones that are here because they weren’t born into the tribe; instantly, he wipes it away, most likely not wanting the little boy to see it and upset him even more. Gently, you comfort the boy until he pulls away and gives you a shy little smile and a nod when you ask him if he feels a little better, carefully wiping the fresh tears from his cheeks and the mucus from his nose with the sleeve of your sweater.

In the tiniest little voice, he speaks and you didn’t think it was possible for your chest to ache any worse, but his sad tone completely shatters you; you’re too focused on the boy that you don’t even notice the way Paz jolts upon hearing the distraught child speak.

“I miss my family.”

And you hate that you think of a ten year old you, just as heartbroken and lost in the world, so you fully sink to your knees and hold his tiny hands a little more firmly, wishing you had something more to give him than just your words.

“I know it hurts,” You murmur in a soothing voice, brushing his curls away from his forehead as he hiccups and you let him hug you again, your hand immediately coming up to cup the back of his head, “I lost the ones I considered to be family when I was around your age too, and I know all too well of what you are feeling right now. I promise the sadness won’t always hurt you this badly and you have so many strong people here that are going to help you feel better and take care of you, okay?” 

Then you think of Paz’s words from the other night when he had found you in such despair and in a deep state of despair 

“You are not alone or unloved.”

He pulls away and nods, and thinking the distraught child could use all the comfort in the galaxy you press a tender kiss to the top of his curls for good measure, immediately earning you a slightly bigger smile as he continues to fiercely rub his eyes and wipe his runny nose. Eventually, he reluctantly wanders away and you watch as he timidly sits in the corner, next to another shy girl that offers him a kind smile; warmth blooms deeply in your heart when he smiles back at her.

“Cyare, we should talk about what happened--the things I said to you and what I did.”

You look up, realizing that Paz is now standing tall above you and holding a hand out to help you up; reminding yourself why you had wanted to see him in the first place, you grab his hand and let him easily tug you to your feet. You let go of him as he cocks his helmet in the direction of the entrance, gesturing for you to follow him and as he silently walks you to a part of the covert you haven’t explored, your fears get the better of you as you think of all the happy moments you’re probably going to lose before really experiencing them.

“Am I going to have to leave the covert?”

He freezes instantly, turning to face you and he’s deathly silent for a few tense moments as he collects his thoughts, “W-What?”

“I disrespected you in front of your family when I yelled at you,” You remind him, confusion swirling around in your mind, though you still don’t think you regret what you said to him, “Do you not… want me here anymore? I understand if that is the case, but if you expect me to apologize, I am not sorry for what I did and said to you.”

His shoulders drop as he watches you nervously tuck a lock of hair behind your ear, trying your hardest to stand your ground, and your heart freezes over in your chest as he almost immediately drops to a knee right in front of you. His breathing pattern looks frantic, what with the way his cuirass is rising and falling so rapidly and he’s mumbling something to himself in his native tongue, but it’s too low to make out any of the syllables or the tone he speaks in.

Immediately, your anger and fears give way to worry as you realize you did not witness the whole fight and there’s a chance he could be injured, “Paz, are you hurt?!”

“Ni ceta, sweet nurse,” He traps one of your hands between both of his and peers up at your worried gaze, “I am not injured, but I am sorry for the way I yelled at you. I didn’t mean to hurt you and I--Maker, why do I keep fucking everything up and letting you get hurt? This isn’t… I’m not supposed to hurt you and make you cry and I--”

He sounds so frustrated with himself and you intervene when you realize how erratically he’s breathing, “Hey, just breathe a little slower, okay? Let’s just talk this out.”

“I’m sorry,” He listens to your advice and his incoherent ramblings give way to something clearer, “You didn’t deserve any of that and I understand that me being blinded by rage is no excuse for speaking like that to you in front of everyone.”

You blink owlishly at him, realizing this is the second time today you’ve had a Mandalorian apologize to you and you want to forgive him, but your brain is screaming at you to tell him how you really feel. Even though you have no problem baring your emotions to him, for some reason you find it more difficult to actually elaborate on how you’re feeling and you think it must be from being alone for so long.

If you truly want this to work out between you and him, you realize you have to work on speaking your thoughts, rather than letting them build up in your head.

“I didn’t like the way you yelled at me,” You inform him in a shaky whisper, ignoring your fears as you crouch down in front of him so you can be eye-level with his shiny visor, though you continue to keep your hand in his, “And I did not like the way it made me feel when you told me I was too soft for my own good because I already know this. I experienced it everyday of my life--people making fun of me or targeting me because they know I am not a warrior like you. I never listened to them though, because my mother would always tell me that there is immense strength in being soft and selfless and I must believe that, even if you and the others in the tribe don’t.”

“I don’t… I don’t know why I said that to you--why I said any of that to you. I didn’t mean it and I would never want you to change yourself for anyone, especially me. I love you for your soft, compassionate heart, cyare,” He pleads in a pained tone and you can tell he’s being sincere, so you nod for him to continue with his explanation.

“I was so mad--so fucking pissed off--when he told me how much he traded your life away for,” He shakes his helmet, perhaps in a weak attempt to shake away his anger and sadness, “I knew the only reason he took the job was because he thought you’d be a quick and easy target and that you wouldn’t even try to fight back against him or the Trandoshan. I wanted to hurt him in the worst way possible and when you stopped me… I was not thinking properly--I wasn’t thinking at all. I still hate him, but you were just trying to be rational and didn’t deserve any of what I said.”

Your lip trembles a little and he frantically shakes his helmet when you drop your head to gaze down at the leather fingers are desperately clutching yours, “You’ve never raised your voice at me like that. It... it caught me off guard and it made me angry that you wouldn’t really listen to me and--”

You feel yourself choke on your words, tears burning hot in your eyes and you absolutely loathe that he’s able to soak in every one of your emotions when you barely have the ability to understand what he’s feeling. One of his hands moves up to your forearm and you watch as he gently rubs the crook of your elbow with his thumb; you know it’s a feeble attempt to comfort you and it barely does anything as you try to process your conflicted emotions.

“Would you really strip someone of everyone and everything they love that easily?” You inquire desperately, your lips trembling as you stare at the chin of his visor and you hate that your voice cracks so horribly as you speak, “You almost took his helmet off, Paz.”

“I am sorry for the pain I caused you, cyare, but he almost took the only one I--” You tilt your head a little when you think you hear his filtered voice growing more crackly than usual and you shake your head when he grows quiet and more withdrawn.

You cannot let people continue to walk all over you and though you understand that is not Paz’s intention, you can tell he’s not expressing his emotions like you’ve been trying to and you find yourself sinking to your knees completely, staring up at him with an expression of sadness and curiosity.

“I am trying my hardest to tell you how much you hurt me, okay? You don’t get to hide your heart from me when I am giving you everything I am feeling for the first time in such a long, long amount of time,” You swallow the lump in your throat, nostrils flaring as you heave in a deep sigh and muster up as much courage as possible to continue this conversation without breaking, “What is going on in your head, Paz?”

He lowers his helmet until his forehead is just inches away from his thigh and you carefully grab the hollows of his blue cheeks, realizing there’s something he’s not telling you and he lets out a little groan, as though he thought he could get his way out of this.

“I... I have never loved anyone the way I love you, ner cyare,” he confesses in a quiet voice, “And my own brother tried to take you away from me--trade you in like you weren’t the most precious thing in my life. I do not know how to process my emotions right now. I am angry and hurt and sad that one of my own could do this to you.”

“Hey, I am here and I am alive,” Your remind him, urging his helmet up a little so he can look at you, “He didn’t know who I was, okay? He made a foolish mistake and yes, it did almost cost me my life, but I am here with you. Isn’t that all that matters?”

“I... yes,” He breathes, giving your hand a firm squeeze, “I know that words mean nothing to you, but I promise I will never embarrass you like that in front of the tribe ever again.

“I…” You remind yourself that you need to speak your concerns and fears out loud for him to understand how you’re feeling and breathe out a deep sigh, “I thought that perhaps you were embarrassed that I was speaking to you like that in front of your people, that was why I thought you were going to make me leave. I thought I had made you mad.”

“No, cyare, I could never--” He heaves a deep breath and you hear the defeat in his filtered baritone as he struggles to reassure you that he didn’t mean to hurt you, “I want you here with me for as long as you wish to stay, but I need you to know that I could never be ashamed of you, okay? If I wasn’t such a fucking idiot, I would have gotten down on my knees in front of the entire tribe and apologized to you as soon as I raised my voice at you.”

You raise your brows in surprise at his words, though you’re not sure why you’re shocked when he’s been respectful towards you from the moment he offered to walk you home and give you his blade. Briefly, a part of you wonders what your life would be like right now had he not felt the need to walk you home that night, though you think it best to not ponder such terrifying thoughts.

“I’m sure the others would have loved to see their heavy-infantry warrior on his knees asking for forgiveness.”

“They already gave me a hard time about me being an asshole as soon as you were gone,” He admits with a small groan, though the image of him being hounded by his tribe makes you smile a little, “I normally don’t let them, but I felt like I deserved it in that moment.”

You sigh, squeezing his hand so tightly that you fear you’ll break one of his fingers, though you think he must be unbreakable, “Everybody makes mistakes, that’s how we learn and grow.”

“Then I will learn from the mistake I have made today,” He drops his helmet in what you think is shame, though you remove your hand from between his to place it on the blue hollow of his cheek and you smile sadly when he looks at you, “I wish you could see my face so you know how sorry I am for hurting your feelings and making you feel lesser of yourself.”

“You wishing that I could see your face is enough proof of your sincerity, Paz,” You bring your other hand to cradle his scuffed up helmet, though you wish you could feel the warmth of his scruffy cheeks again, “I forgive you, but if you ever leave me alone in your bed to go try to kill one of your own again, I think I would throw you in the forge myself and not show you any mercy.”

“That’s my saviin’ika,” He huffs out a small, relieved chuckle as you slowly stand up and offer him a helping hand up, smiling when you hear him grunt as his knees crack a little as he stands to his full height, “I think Ima would not mind helping you with that; you may forgive me, but the kid can really hold a grudge.”

Though you’ve spent such a small amount of time with the tenacious teenager, you don’t doubt that she can be just as stubborn and fierce as any of the adults. You grow quiet and curious when Paz begins to tug you in the direction he had initially been leading you towards before you voiced your concerns. A soft sigh leaves you as you think of how you haven’t been awake for probably more than two hours, and you’ve already had a long, strange day, though not necessarily terrible now that you and Paz have made up and you won't have to leave.

“Your mother was wise when she said that being kind and soft makes you no less stronger than a warrior,” Paz abruptly speaks, gazing down at your surprised expression as he wraps his massive arm around your waist, all while continuing to guide you down the corridor, “I know what kind of reputation I have and even though I do not wish to harm people who don’t deserve it, I know people jump to conclusions and think the worst of me--of Mandalorians in general. Then there’s you, cyare.”

Your eyes widen as you stare up at him, waiting patiently for him to explain with a frantic heart that threatens to leap out of your chest.

“People see you and they immediately trust you because you look so sweet and kind,” Paz sighs, a dreamy noise that causes his modulator to crackle a little bit, “That little boy from earlier has been here for two weeks and hasn’t spoken a word or stopped crying, yet you got him to talk after five seconds and you even made him smile. That is true strength, being able to give someone hope and comfort, and I was a fool to say otherwise.”

“You are kind and compassionate too, Paz.”

“Only because you taught me how,” He shakes his helmet as you try to shake off the incredibly sweet words, “And I am still learning because I have not always been a good man and I’ve never felt shame for it until I met you--until I saw your smile and how you care for others so intensely, even though you’ve seen just as much pain and suffering that I have, if not more. I’ve never seen any of it faze you so badly until I found you at the infirmary when you went into shock the last night. I knew one more day spent in that hell would destroy you and I could not live with myself if I left you at the infirmary, all alone.”

Your face feels so intensely hot as you struggle to think of a proper reply--something just as beautiful as what your Mandalorian is currently telling you--though you find it hard to form a coherent response. You think of the quiet bounty hunter and how he had chosen you because you were an easy target to him, but then you think of the way you had clung to your will to survive and how even though taking a life is something that will haunt you forever, it had also led to you having a better life.

You’re here because Paz had deemed you worthy of being part of his family of warriors and because you had fought at the mere chance of a future filled with happy moments with the one you love.

You find it uplifting that though you had been the one to teach him how to be softer, he had given you the confidence to stand up for yourself and be stronger.

Though you don’t have the words to properly express yourself, you smile and murmur a small, ‘thank you, Paz’.

“Always thinking so hard about everything and never talking,” Paz muses, though it sounds like he might be smiling underneath that helmet, “One day I will find out what goes on in that pretty little head, sweetheart.”

“Well, I just figured you do enough talking for the both of us, ori kebiin,” You tease, grinning when you hear a sweet bark of a filtered laugh and you’re grateful that nothing has severely changed between you two after everything that happened with the bounty hunter.

“Remind me to keep you away from Ima so she won’t teach you any other nicknames that the tribe has for me,” Paz lets out a dramatic sigh that instantly amuses you, “Same with all the others. Anyone tries to teach you Mando’a, don’t listen to them, okay?”

“Would it be disrespectful for an outsider to learn the language?”

“No, it’s just--” He makes a funny noise from the back of his throat, something you’ve learned he does when you say something that makes him feel flustered, “Some of the guys are just… playful, and I would not put it past them to teach you something you would not normally intend to say.”

You must look confused because he immediately lets out with another groan, almost sounding like he’s struggling as he speaks in a hasty tone, “They would teach you how to say something dirty as a way of messing around with you. They may protect you as their little sister, but it also means they would pick on you like one as well.”

Your cheeks feel so intensely hot at the thought of being pranked in such a way and you’re suddenly very much aware of Paz’s arm around your waist as you two slowly stroll through the enclave, his fingers twitching just a few inches below your cauterized wound. Then you think of the way he had held you on top of him the previous night, all while letting you kiss him and you’re certain that your ears are burning from the inside out at the images that you allow your mind to conjure.

“I think I know how Djarin felt when I was holding his helmet up to the forge, cyare,” Paz drawls in a teasing manner, making you grow weak in the knees as he drops his helmet a little, “I can feel the heat from your cheeks and ears through all this Beskar.”

You give him an annoyed scowl, though it only seems to spur him on even more and you suddenly hate how easy it is for you to grow flustered when he makes these flirty little comments, “Maybe you should listen to what they teach you--I do not think I would mind hearing my language in that pretty mouth of yours.”

You chew viciously on your bottom lip and shake your head as you change the topic, deciding you’ve had enough torment for one day, “Where are you taking me, Paz?”

He simply grunts and you roll your eyes at the fact that your usually mouthy warrior has decided to grow quiet and you simply let him guide you to whatever destination he has in mind. Curiosity gets the better of you when you feel him tense up a little against your side, his spine straightening as he leads you even deeper underground and down another staircase and you’re in absolute awe of the size of the enclave. Even when you stumble a little, he keeps you grounded with his arm around your waist and you are simultaneously grateful for both his diligence to keep you from falling as well as the body heat from the cracks of his armor.

“I know this place is not what you’re used to and even though you are safe, I thought you might miss the sunlight and your pretty flowers, cyare,” Paz begins to ramble as he guides you down the dimly lit tunnel and your curiosity grows hundred fold when you are able to make out the nervous pitch of his filtered voice as he brings you towards a small entrance covered by black drapes, “I just… I thought you might like having a place to yourself because I know how quiet you are and how loud we can be sometimes. I just want you to feel as comfortable as possible.”

He curls his fingers into the heavy drapes and you tilt your head to the side when he pulls them to the side, urging you into the little alcove with a sharp nod of his helmet and you think he must feel nervous for you to see what’s in the room. You bow your head low as you duck into the small room, biting back a small giggle when you hear the loud clatter of a helmet meeting stone, followed by a few curse words that you’re used to hearing from him; his enclave is so big that he must have forgotten that a smaller alcove existed within it.

“It seems like you are the clumsy one now,” You giggle, turning back to face him as he readjusts his helmet a little, “You are not allowed to make fun of me anymore.”

He snorts a little, “That’s not how it works.”

As soon as you turn forward to take in your surroundings, whatever smart comment that nearly rolls off the tip of your tongue diminishes and your huge grin drops into a severe expression of shock.

The room is little, but adorned with several clay pots filled with your usual violets that you typically wear in your hair, as well as flowers from the hot springs he had taken you to months and vibrant flora you’ve never seen on Nevarro. 

“Ima helped me with most of it since I kept accidentally killing a bunch of your flowers.”

Immediately, tears fill your eyes when you realize all he’s done for you--collecting flowers and rehoming them in an environment where it is difficult for them to flourish, though there’s plenty of artificial lighting beating down on them, just as you had previously advised. You spot a large cup of water on the long desk that most of the plants reside on and wonder if he had come down here every single day just to water them and your heart feels like it’s about to burst from all the overwhelming emotions you are currently feeling. You step forward upon noticing the wooden cabinets above the desk and open them slowly, smiling warmly upon seeing the numerous glass jars and other tools that one would use to concoct salves and ointments.

“I know some of the flowers are dying and you could do a much better job, but I know how much they mean to you and I didn’t want you to lose this part of--” He stops rambling the second you turn to him with tear-filled eyes.

“You did all of this for me? Just so I would be more comfortable here?”

“I would not want you to be without your flowers, cyare,” His shoulders slump forward a little at the shock in your quiet voice and you watch with warmth in your cheeks as he slowly makes his way towards the long desk that houses all the beautiful flowers, “I know how much you cherish them and what they mean to you--how they remind you of a happier time that you are still far too hurt over to talk to me about. In a way, I suppose they are as precious to you as our helmets are to us.”

You watch as his leather-clad fingers carefully pluck one of those beautiful blue flowers that you had seen at the hot springs and your heart soars the moment he slowly makes his way back to you, all while staring at the beautiful, luminescent petals. Your feet feel glued to the floor as he reaches out to tuck the flower somewhere in your hair and your grin is so large that you feel it hurting your cheeks as he tucks the beautiful blue flower behind the shell of your warm ear.

Feeling the familiar tickle of a tiny stem grazing the shell of your ear, you smile up at him warmly and wish to tell him the words you are not able to conjure into a coherent statement. Instead, you stand up on the tips of your toes to press a sweet kiss into the fabric covering his neck before moving up to the hollow cheek of his helmet. You hear him grunt and groan as his hands carefully cup your waist to keep you close to him and you wonder if he’s imagining how your lips would feel against skin. Suddenly, you’re grateful that he had decided to leave his heavier equipment in his quarters, making it easier to reach up and kiss the thick, warm fabric that covers his shoulders.

“Gar ganar ner kar'ta ratiin, cyare.”

“What does that mean?”

He tilts his helmet downwards when you reluctantly pull away to gaze up at him.

“It is my promise to you.”

You grow warm as you think of what he could possibly be promising to you, though you decide not to ask as you explore all the little dents of his pauldron and helmet with a feathery light touch

“Then I will make the same promise to you as well.”

You’re slightly startled as you watch him manage to rip off his gloves that are tucked underneath his huge gauntlets before he’s cradling your cheeks and gently backing you up against the desk he’s deemed worthy of housing your precious flowers.

“Maker, you are so fucking so beautiful, I really don’t deserve you, do I? Always so kind to me and I--” He grunts and you smile softly upon hearing the adoration laced within his filtered voice as he carefully nudges his helmet against your bare forehead, "I want to kiss you so badly right now.”

"But your--"

"Close your eyes, please, close your eyes--"

Your breath hitches at the desperation in his filtered voice, "You trust me this much?"

He huffs as his thumb tenderly grazes your bottom lip, “I would trust you with a blaster to my chest, cyare.”

“I think your Beskar would hold up just fine.”

He snorts--a distorted sound that his modulator barely picks up--and as soon as your eyes slip shut, he rips his helmet off and has his lips pressed against yours in a kiss that is something more passionate than all the ones you shared the previous night. 

You jump a little upon the foreign feeling of his tongue grazing your bottom lip and curiously open your mouth for him to explore, earning a deep groan from him; your heart is beating wildly as he tenderly cups the back of your head to keep you close, his other arm slung across your lower back and you feel part of his helmet barely digging into your waist. 

A shiver rips through your body when he pulls away with a small gasp and immediately teases the underside of your jaw with his teeth and wet tongue, his helmet dropping to the floor with a loud clang that you two barely notice as a whimper leaves you at the pleasant sensation his lips bring you.

“Paz,” Your voice leaves your mouth in a way you’ve never heard from yourself, all breathy and more of a little whine as he gives you what you think is the only kind of mark he’d ever leave on your body.

“Everything you do just makes me--” He cuts himself off with a soft sigh as he skims his mouth along your jawline, ultimately ending up at your earlobe and you shudder again when he presses a tender kiss to the hot skin there, “Can’t believe you thought I’d make you leave the covert--you’re an angel, I’m sure of it.”

And you’ve never heard someone call you such a thing--an angel--but as he continues to mumble sweet praises and compliments against the column of your neck, you hear the sincerity in his raw voice and you feel his love deep in your soul. As your hands cup his scruffy jaw to guide him back to your lips, you wonder if there’s some sort of invisible wire that connects two people and their souls together and if you and Paz had somehow been connected as soon as he walked into the infirmary. You think of all the bad luck you’ve had in your life and how you’ve lost the only ones who have ever loved you, leaving you with a cruel father that felt no shame in beating you down countless times. 

But then you think of Paz.

You think of the man that had walked you home and had been so determined to show you that not everything on this planet was awful, and now, pressed up against the desk with his lips, teeth, and tongue all teasing at your skin, you grin a little.

You finally feel as though you have found your home within his heart.

The thought of soulmates and fate immediately disappears as he eventually pulls away and gently nudges your forehead with his, instantly making your heart bloom like a wildflower when you think of all the times he’s rested his Beskar helmet against your forehead. A tear trickles down your cheek, though you think it is a happy one as Paz lifts his head to kiss your forehead, letting out a deep sigh that fans across your already warm skin.

You’re surprised when you hear him clear his throat before he speaks, “I am glad you accepted my apology, but I don’t think I’ll ever forgive myself for raising my voice at you.”

You hear how his voice is thick with emotion and you realize this is something he is not going to let go any time soon; he drops his head against the curve of your neck as you speak, “Then let it serve as a reminder to never do it again, Paz. Like I said, everyone makes mistakes--it’s how we learn and grow--and if it happens again, it will only show me that you have not grown.”

“And what about him--Djarin--did he apologize when you were fixing him up, cyare?” Paz questions against your shoulder, his voice slightly muffled, “Because if he didn’t I can--”

“You Mandalorians,” You huff a small laugh, grinning a little when he squeezes you to him tighter, but making sure to remain mindful of crushing you against his armor, “Always so scornful, even towards your own kind. The bounty hunter did apologize to me and he seemed to genuinely regret what he did.”

“I understand that you do not wish to see him lose his place with the tribe or see him suffer, but I still don’t think he deserves your forgiveness,” Paz sighs again, moving to place tender little kisses against your shoulder and the side of your neck; he chuckles a little when you find yourself slowly tilting your head to the side.

“I accepted his apology but did not forgive him,” You inform Paz quietly, finding it harder and harder to keep your eyes shut for him, though you persist for the sake of his honor, “I could not because it would have made me a dishonest woman.”

You feel him smile against your jaw as he tends to the sensitive skin with plush lips, “And you are not a dishonest woman, ner cyare.”

You grin, remembering how you had spoken out against the bounty hunter earlier when you had been resetting his shoulder and a part of you is tempted to tell the Mandalorian, thinking that he would gain some sort of satisfaction just as you had. You think of the bounty hunter’s story of how Paz had protected him when he’d first come to the covert and your heart melts at the thought of a young blue warrior protecting a small foundling who must have been just as afraid as the little one you comforted earlier.

“No, I am not.”

Before he can say anything, a loud female voice from outside the alcove startles Paz nearly right out of his skin and you raise your brows as he hastily retrieves his helmet and gloves from the ground.

“Ori kebiin di’kut!” Ima’s voice is practically screaming at him and you grin when Paz gives you the okay to open your eyes; something about his exasperated sigh makes you think this isn’t the first time she’s done this to him, “Khai pushed  Vhan down the stairs again and could probably use some medical attention. Think you can manage to be away from your riduur for more than five minutes?”

You raise your brows as you follow him out of the alcove, coming face to face with Ima, who you’re certain must be smug as she cocks her helmet at the sight of you. She then reaches out to skim a finger along your jawline and your eyes widen at how tender the skin there feels, your cheeks instantly feeling like a raging wildfire that spreads to your ears; there must be a small mark he left there with his teeth.

“Looks like you two already made up,” Ima snorts, glancing up at Paz who is shaking his helmet at her, and you remember what he had told you about being picked on like a sister, though you think it makes you feel more like part of the tribe, “C’mon saviin’ika, you have a long day ahead of you.”

She grabs your hand and happily urges you to follow her, all while still teasing you.

As you leave a flustered Paz behind, you think Ima is the first person you’ve trusted completely since meeting your warrior and a fond smile stretches along your lips as she nosily asks you if he had gotten on his knee to apologize to you.

You had forgotten what it felt like to have a family, but perhaps with enough time, you can learn again.

Translations:

Vod’ika=Little brother/sister

Di’kut=Idiot, useless individual, waste of space (Lit: someone who forgets to put their pants on)

Mirdir be pehea gar kelir sirbur Ni ceta at kaysh=Think of how you will say sorry to her

Gar ganar ner kar'ta ratiin, cyare=You have my heart always, beloved

Saviin’ika=Little violet

Ner=Mine/My

Cyare=Beloved

Ori Kebiin=Big blue

Riduur=Partner, spouse, husband/wife

A/N: As always, thank you all so much for all the support and sweet words!! It makes me so happy that you guys are enjoying this story as much as I love writing it, because I really do always have such a lovely time writing these two soft lovebirds :) I love you all and adore hearing all your thoughts and ideas because they always inspire me so much!

I love you guys and please have a wonderful day! I hope you enjoy this chapter :)<3

Taglist: @parabatai-winchester​ @auty-ren @theocatkov @oloreaa @talesfromtheguild @blindedbyyourgrace17 @datmando @dartheldur @miscellaneous-mando @karpasia @ben-is-a-hoe @the-feckless-wonder @whatababeleia @maybege @aeryntheofficial @corrupt-fvcker @lackofhonor @phoenixhalliwell @crazy-kat-in-the-hat @roxypeanut @mandolovian @honestlystop @teaofpeach @macabrefaerie @acynicalcat @spaghetti-666 @readsalot73 @lanatheawesome @absurdthirst @anakinsittinginsand @yes-music-is-my-religion @tangledlove27 @justrunamok @peqchynero @haloangel391 @awhiskeywithwinchester @aliciaxglasgow @bonesaldente @kawaiitimecharm

#paz vizla x reader #paz vizsla x reader #paz vizla x you #Paz vizsla x you #my writing #mandalorian x reader #mandalorian x you #the mandalorian fanfiction #THIS IS A ROLLERCOASTER IM SO SORRY YALL LOL #ALSO TUMBLR BETTER NOT FUCK UP MY TAGS AGAIN

[alwaysahiccupandastrid]

His Dark Materials - Season 2 Episode 5 (rambles)

I only realized last week, there’s only 7 episodes this series because the eighth would have been the Asriel centric one. So only two left now after tonight! :(

Also I finished the book during the last week so I am so READY

Ahh gotta love that London traffic!

I don’t know why but the Golden Monkey wearing a seatbelt SENT ME

Mrs Coulter is watching the mother and baby :(

Boreal saying that our world is barbaric and our world is corrupt is so accurate tbh I’m not even mad

Will literally just threw the knife into the wall omfg watch it!

Red PAN-da is becoming a permanent fixture in this show apparently

Lyra’s hair was so pretty this episode? Her costume too obviously but her hair had me in awe

The theme music to this show gives me literal chills

Boreal is evil but his house is A-fucking-plus

Okay but how does Ruth Wilson always look so gorgeous and fluid in this show?!?

Her faking nearly dropping one of Boreal’s precious collection pieces and him panicking 😅

Mrs Coulter’s little “hmm” and smile... we love a Queen

“Why are we whispering?” “I don’t know” - LMFAO

“Will, you left the window open” - LMAO and also please don’t do that, that’s like one of the BIG rules about the knife!

“He’s getting good at this” “he is” - we love a supportive feral wild girl and her dæmon

Mrs Coulter looking bored as fuck as Boreal plays his music is such a damn mood

“You’d like it here too” - Umm NO STOP PLEASE SHE DOESNT WANT IT

“Carlo, can you make that stop?” - OMG 🤣

“You’re far too conspicuous like that” - but she’s not??? She just looks like a posh well dressed woman, maybe that’s not common in this world but she looks fine??

Boreal picking out clothes he’s obviously got just for her is... eww. Just ewww.

Her reaction to the jeans/clothes though XD

“Would you mind?” - YEAH BOREAL STOP CREEPING AND FUCK OFF PLEASE

“Maybe it’s time we issue a firm denial of the tear in the sky” BRO IT’S LITERALLY HUGE AND RIGHT THERE YOU CAN’T PRETEND IT AIN’T

Oh shit the Magisterium know about that witches going to the new world + the massacre

MacPhail literally imprisoned Father Graves and for WHAT?! I think the power’s getting to him (which I know it the point but still!)

MRS COULTER SHUT THE DOOR ON HER DÆMON I’M-

Okay so I know it’s been implied/said that Mrs Coulter can go far away from the monkey already, and that they maybe have been through some kind of process that’s made that a thing, but like DAMN.

“I’m sure you’ve encountered witches in your travels” - if I hadn’t already read the books, I would be asking if she IS a witch tbh like omg

This is probably one of the few times I’ll say this but... I feel so sorry for the monkey?? Just him watching her as she leaves from the window... like that’s so sad. I get why she couldn’t exactly walk around with a monkey but urgh

“I apologize if she was a nuisance” “She wasn’t a nuisance!” - Oof you tell her, Mary

“You must be so proud.” “... I am.” - OOF

Mary showing that she’s better fit to be a parent to Lyra than Lyra’s real mother tbh

Damn Marisa disappeared FAST

Mary really googled Mrs Coulter I’m-

“You must play the serpent” “hornbeam” “save the girl and the boy” - IT’S HAPPENING IM GOING TO CRY IM SO EXCITED

The computer turning completely off and the room going dark before going red OH MY GOD

“Oh shut it, Pan” - LMAO

OH NO OH NO ANGELICA FOUND TULLIO AND SHE IS PISSED D:

A+ acting from Bella Ramsay by the way

“We WILL get you” - OH SHIT

The fact that Will feels guilty over fighting and inadvertently getting Tullio attacked by spectres because he has the knife :’(

It’s so sweet to see Lyra and Pan comforting him though

“I’m not judging” - Mary’s sister says while totally judging her for reading the Holy Bible. She probably thinks she’s about to rejoin the convent!

I find the relationship between Marisa and the monkey so interesting?? I’m so intrigued by it

“Do they drink in this world?” “That, they do well.” - LMFAO ACCURATE THOUGH

“I found her arrogant, like many women in this world.” - umm, FUCK you, Boreal you misogynistic sexist piece of shit

So Mrs Coulter was denied a doctorate despite being the best in her class because she’s a woman, and they would only have published her papers if they were by a man. I’m starting to see why she got upset when she met Mary, who’s got her own office and a doctorate and is head of the department/project

“Who I could have been in this world” - oh shIT

The way she started talking about how she felt after the whole affair/baby ordeal, followed by “we’re not talking about Asriel, we’re talking about ME” - FUCK. I love Ruth Wilson’s portrayal, I love it

“You’ve spent your time trading trinkets” - lmfao you tell him ma’am

“Were you hoping to add me to your little collection?” “I was hoping this would be a life for you here” - oh god I hate it, fuck right off Carlo

“If you got me, you wouldn’t even begin to know what to do with me” - oh SHIT :O

Lyra turning up to distract them so Will could have the chance to cut a window and steal the Alethiometer had me on the edge of my seat

Let’s be real right now, the whole last 15 minutes? THE MOST TENSE AND INCREDIBLE PIECE OF TELEVISION ASDFGHJKL

Mrs Coulter’s face when she saw Lyra at the door :’(

Also she nearly saw Will and I was sitting there praying she wouldn’t find him, I was so worried even though I’ve literally just reread the book

So um THE FUCKING MONKEY BASTARD JUMPSCARED ME AND I AUDIBLY YELLED SO LOUDLY HOLY HECK

The way that Lyra saw her mum and immediately tried to run away though, she just keeps trying to yeet herself away from her parents and I honestly don’t blame her at all

Boreal was being truly extra in the way he dropped his snake dæmon out of his sleeve like that whilst advancing on Will

“Why would I trust you?” TRUTH

Coulter saying for Lyra to stay away from Will and getting super teary eyed makes me think she’s worried Lyra will suffer like she did? Like she’s worried that Lyra will suffer at the hands of men and be in the same situation she was I think? And that’s so sad but nuanced

“I am NOTHING like you.”

So Lyra did this little head move like Marisa did in 1x02, when she made the monkey attack Pan to subdue Lyra - AND THEN PAN ATTACKED THE MONKEY JUST LIKE THAT, LITERALLY EXACTLY THE SAME, AND MRS COULTER FALLING TO THE FLOOR AND CLUTCHING THE SOFA LIKE LYRA DID?? AND LYRA WATCHING WITH THIS COLD LOOK ON HER FACE?!

SOMEONE PLEASE MAKE A COMPARISON GIFSET BECAUSE IM CRYING

I love Will getting mad at Boreal taunting him over his mum, and immediately starting to punch him

HE SMASHED THAT COLLECTION PIECE ON BOREAL’S HEAD FUCK YEAH WILL 👏🏻

That was a DAMN close escape, holy fuck, but she’s got the Alethiometer back!

“The man who hurt you, I wanted to kill him” - same Lyra

I was so emotional when she was talking about how Marisa used her dæmon to hurt her and Pan, and Will saying that he’s never worried about his mum hurting him... the comparison is so sad

“I hope I’m not like either of my parents” - I mean I don’t blame her tbh

SHE CONSIDERED MA COSTA AND LEE SCORESBY TO BE BETTER PARENT FIGURES TO BE LIKE I’M CRYING

So Mrs Coulter is definitely planning some shit, like she didn’t seem that concerned when Boreal was talking about the Spectres, and like obviously I know what happens but I’ve always been intrigued as to why the Spectres listen to her instead of just attacking her. Also is it something to do with her dæmon? Like if they ARE separated in some way, maybe the Spectres don’t feed on her because it’s Dust or something? (Idk if that makes any sense)

“Deceive the guardian... okay... okay...” honestly same XD

Mary pretending to be Mrs Coulter to get past the guard is such a brilliant idea, like she just ran with it immediately, we have to stan a Queen who keeps a calm head

SHE WENT THROUGH THE WINDOW AND INTO THE CITY AAAAHHHH

The angels said they’d protect her, right? So she doesn’t need to fear the Spectres I’m assuming (I need to assume or I’ll worry)

The promo for next week was literally half what we saw THIS week and half Lee/John Parry footage I’m assuming is next week... ?

The fact there’s only two episodes left makes me so sad :( I have no idea what I’ll do waiting for the final series - and I’m assuming it’ll be delayed maybe because of Covid. Plus I’m hoping we get the extra episode NEXT series, the one that was Asriel-centred and supposed to be in this one but wasn’t filmed because of Coronavirus, so fingers crossed! 🤞

#his dark materials #hdm #lyra belacqua #marisa coulter #will parry #pantalaimon #lord boreal #charles latrom #the golden monkey #golden monkey #philip pullman #the subtle knife #dafne keen #ruth wilson #amir wilson

[calliopecalling]

QOTS Rewatch - 1x03 - Estrategia de Entrada

I know I’ve said this for episodes 1x01 and 1x02 as well, but 1x03 is another contender for my series top 10. Definitely a season 1 top 5! It’s another Jeresa showcase and, this should not be news to anyone, IMO those are generally the best episodes because of the dynamism of their relationship. In this episode we start to see James taking better stock of Teresa and it’s clear that he’s unnerved by her. While in 1x02 he was really just trying to keep her alive while also trying to complete an important job, 1x03 gives him the chance to slow down and assess. He begins the episode annoyed by Camila’s interest in her (partly protective instinct? but I think partly she just makes his life more difficult and he’s in robot mode). But by the end, he’s one part unnerved and one part impressed. The turning point obviously is her catching the counterfeit money in the deal with Lopez. But I’ll get more into that below.

We also see in this episode glimpses of Teresa’s suffering behind the guarded front she puts up. It’s so hard to see. It’s good to rewatch this after seeing season 5 when we had such high expectations of her integrity and felt so disappointed in her, while James ended up looking like the one with scruples. NOT so in season 1. I almost cringed at some of his “tough love” talks, knowing how much she was struggling beneath the surface. Poor woman just needs a hug :( So I don’t think we’re at a place yet where he cares for her, or where (if he does) that care shows. But the seeds are planted. He clearly feels protective of her to some degree, and I think she feels that too, or at least dimly senses it? But I don’t think she’s putting a lot of energy into trying to figure him out yet. She’s still just surviving. And is going to do a bunch more surviving this episode.

The opening Guero dream/flashback--as I put thoughts in the tags of this gifset, it’s jarring seeing a Teresa so soft and then watch her wake up in that cage.

Then the queenpin tells her that this is as good as her day is gonna get. And Teresa looks SO sad, it hurts. It’s interesting to remember that WE are privy to the raw emotions she’s going through, even though Camila and James are definitely not. We get to see her soft underbelly in these early episodes. I will be watching out for when that underbelly starts to harden.

Camila’s business partner tells her that Epifanio has killed "anything [Teresa] cared about.” It’s not really clear what that means, but I’m going to assume it means she has no family and has had no family for a long time. If she did, she would have surely tried to get in touch with them.

James moved her up! From the floor to a cot! Progress!

So smart of her to not talk to Brenda from her own phone. As I said above, this is the episode we really see that she’s got an acute sixth sense for danger and extremely good survival instincts.

Speaking of Brenda, she’s in the same clothes from the pilot; I wonder how many days it’s been? At least several? Where has she been sleeping? Poor woman.

Jeresa staring contest!* One of my favorite Teresa/James scenes this season. She’s just sitting there, looking like the Queen but in street clothes. James is clearly uneasy, just staring at her for a minute before she thanks him for putting her with the mules. Then he GRABS HER and pushes her against the chain link fence to try to coach her. What’s his endgame here? I’m not sure he knows himself. A little bit wanting to protect her, a little bit wanting to protect himself, a little bit posturing to her? (*Quite a long ways to go before we get to a softer staring contest...)

“I don’t know how much shit you’re in, but I know what you’re trying to do.” “And what am I doing?” “You’re  trying to ingratiate yourself with Camila.” I love this exchange. First of all because he feels the need to grab her arm, stand approximately 2 inches away from her, and continue to touch her during the rest of the exchange. Second, because you see her lower lip twitch JUST A LITTLE BIT when he says that she’s trying to ingratiate herself with Camila--like an acknowledgement that he’s right. Third because you can practically SEE the electricity between them. And honestly after watching this scene a few times in a row I feel like they both feel it too, even though they have no idea what it is yet. They hold eye contact a little bit too long; they study each other; James fidgets, Teresa watches. SO good.

We meet Isabela! Yawn.

Teresa with James and entourage at Sam’s Club. I love his “if you see something strange” line. Little does he know that she’s exactly the right person to put in charge of watching for anything strange.

Watching her get manhandled, yet again, by the DEA agents--even though they’re fake--is so intense. I remember watching that live the first time. This is her... third time getting kidnapped? (First time by Epifanio, second time on Camila’s mule route?) We get another queenpin vision here, telling her not to snitch.

The look on her face--stricken--when she gets out of the van to face Camila. If she didn’t know yet that this was a hard world, now she knows.

And then James all “wtf?” in the van as she’s wandering around the parking lot. I really wish we’d gotten to hear her tell him what had happened.

And he keeps going on about how she needs to stay under Camila’s radar. Her response? To ask to meet Lopez, because if she knows too little, she’s “disposable.” James: “did you listen to a word I said?” Lol. Then James reluctantly vouching for her. You can see his eyeroll behind his sunglasses.

Teo: “your husband has his big toe stuck in most of the shipping in the gulf, and I think we both understand what he’s shipping... and it’s not swordfish.” Lol. Honestly though, I wish we’d gotten more glimpses into the mechanics of the business like we do in this conversation between Teo and Camila. The book gets into this stuff a lot more and I actually find it interesting--plus it’s what Teresa was most strong at.

Then the whole scene with Lopez where the guy cracking his neck tips her off to something being off, and she gets to show off that she can tell counterfeit money by its weight. This scene always makes me so proud of her, lol. This is in her blood.

Her bored look when Lopez points the gun at her.

A few things other about this scene. One, I LOVE that the background song is “White Rabbit” by Jefferson Airplane lol. So many possible layers there but it’s cute. Two, I love how James is all like “omg WHAT do you want” when Teresa says something feels off about the money. He COULD have just told her off at that point, because honestly, what does she know, it’s her second day on the job and she’s telling him that something feels off? But he doesn’t tell her off. He listens to her even though he’s obviously super put out lol. Three, Teresa’s utter cool the entire time. She just wins that whole scene. Four, the way he watches her check the money. That’s it. Just that. Five, the fact that James learns something specific about Teresa’s traumatic past as a money changed. No reaction, but he registers it. Files it away. Six, the way when Lopez walks back in, she hands James the stack of cash--it’s his problem now, she won’t say anything, she’ll let him handle it his way. But then seven, how he makes it clear it’s her who thinks it’s fake--making her responsible. And now her life is on the line, but she’s that sure. Eight, how she has to find another fake bill, and when she does, and hands it to James, they do their silent head nod/eye contact thing to communicate “you sure?” “yes I’m sure.” Nine, the cherry on top is that she’s even right about who stole the cash and where he hid it. MY GOD. It’s so good. CLASSIC JERESA, plus classic badass Teresa. I miss it.

And then James tests her: what should happen to Lucian? He should be let go. “Wrong choice,” he says. Camila says it was the wrong choice too--women cannot afford to look weak in this business. (And how right she was... not killing Boaz in season 5 was the unfortunate parallel to this, precisely because it made her look weak.)

Camila tries to give her a Rolex? Really? Wtf is Teresa, who is sleeping on a cot in your filthy warehouse, going to do with a Rolex?

I love how she glares at James when Camila tells her that she made the wrong choice. She’s like, c’mon dude, you had to tell on me? Was that necessary? Get over yourself lol.

And as soon as we’re back in the warehouse with her, back in her cage, we see behind her steely front to the anguish she’s really feeling, as she sheds tears over the patron saint Malverde token :(

And then Brenda pours salt in the wound, telling her that whatever she’s going through is 1000 times worse than what Teresa is going through. Teresa has to summon the strength for the both of them in that moment. And she’s barely holding it together.

“Is America as bad as everybody says it is?” “No. You’re gonna love it here. Te quiero.” CRIESSSSSS.

Queenpin Visions:

Beginning of the episode: “Morning. From what I’m feeling, this is as good as your day is gonna get.”

During the fake DEA bust: “A snitch is a snitch. Don’t do it.”

#queen of the south #qots #qots s1 #1x03 #2021 rewatch #txt post #qots reaction post #qots meta #welp #this one is also extremely long #oops #really trying to keep them shorter than this #but all the Jeresa episodes are just too good not to go on about at length #so much great eye contact already #unfortunately James did not say Teresa's name at all in this episode #maybe next time lol

[strawberryybird]

my second round of Hot Take on 3hopes after having never even touched a copy of fe warriors, gathering intel exclusively from tumblr memes and destroying the soul of my long-suffering brother who keeps trying to engage in regular fire emblem fan conversation is thus:

i am once again asking. wheres the gay, nintendo

if i cant marry edelgard then i will give serious consideration to throwing my switch into the canal

when is june time isnt real

mmmm migraine purbple..

haircuts?? are their passion??

disobeying the laws of physics?? is their passion??

im suddenly evil? did i get sold to 1 direction? where’s my click clack bone sword? is that really what my hair looks like from the front??

i personally could not care less about the story because i simply do not care about adhering to canon. if its bad i will simply ignore it. i will find the bits that i love and take them to the point of irrationality.. studying literature has ruined me for fandom.

i just want to see these alolan forms of the characters. what i am here for is the potentiality of ferdinand’s haircut.

the fact that all the fe fans on my dash came out of the woodwork to reblog the same gifsets literally made me so happy!! like welcome back to the devil’s sacrament!! we look at hubert von vestra here.

the music still absolutely slaps and i’m so excited to listen to the osts under increasingly amusing fake titles on youtube

whens june it is not june yet

gdfhkgjhdfjkfdsghfj hubert scene kid hot topic mall goth von vestra, the land’s most eligable bachelor, back in my life once more

#birb says what // #i wrote this for my own amusement i hope i am proven hilariously true by the game #i am very excited for this game but mostly i am excited for the haircuts #the alolan forms... the reversy percys of my little digial militia #when is june!!! it is not june yet!!! #give me melodrama give me king lear coding give me 13 y/o ff.net fic levels of angst #my wants sure have Changed since 2019 lmaooo

[stealthily]

Pls can you explain in simple terms what Arcane is and about b/c I keep seeing the gifsets you reblog and I'm high key in love with the art but I've got zero clue about League of Legends if it's even about that Idkkkk

@koldtblod  Hey there love, yes, absolutely!! So while Arcane is based on characters from League of Legends, you don't need to know any of the lore to watch it (i knew literally NOTHING about the game going in, and i understood the show perfectly, they do a great job world-building)

So as far as the setting goes, it follows characters from two different parts of a city-- Piltover, which is the wealthy, upper class "city of progress" chasing scientific and magical advancements; and the Undercity, which is the more impoverished, the not-so-pretty side, the ones who have to fend for themselves as they suffer the most from the systemic problems of this world. and tldr; the undercity get taken over by a violent crimelord while most of the rich upper folk turn a blind eye, either out of naivety or corruption, until said worlds start to collide.

BUT, first and foremost, this show is about it's CHARACTERS. they are the absolute heart and soul of what makes the story special. it's about their battles and traumas. It's about characters who choose to break the cycle of cruelty, and those who continue them. it's about family and reluctant partnerships and enemies and learning to trust again. every character in this show is incredibly well-rounded and allowed their morality in shades of gray-- you can understand the motivations of the more "evil" characters in the show, you can see the faults of the more "heroic" ones. Also, the art and animation is GORGEOUS. There is SO much expression in the way all their characters are animated, so much life, and you can absolutely tell that this project was was a labor of LOVE instead of just a moneygrab.   (plus: incredibly diverse character designs, especially for the women, and god bless the amount of buff ladies this show gave us)

So like, full disclosure: I started watching it literally only because I saw gifsets of these two lesbian characters being tender and I thought their relationship looked sweet (spoiler alert: it is) but by the end of Episode 3 the show had already hit me like a trainwreck, and it only continued to get more incredible and emotional from there. It is a work of art in every sense of the word and I'd give anything to have more animated shows out there with this level of quality and care put into it.

I know this ended up being more of a long, emotional rant about how much i love this show and i am... so sorry for that LMAO. But yes, it's on Netflix and season one is only 9 episodes total, so if you have the time to spare, I'd definitely recommend anyone giving this show a shot. <3

#arcane #txt #koldtblod #i wanted this to be short but i never know how to shut up IM SORRY #i also didn't know how to explain a lot of things without going into spoilers fsdkdjkfs but hopefully this is an okay answer !!! #answered

[verobatto]

Destiel Chronicles

Vol. CXXI

It was a love story from the very beginning.

Pain and Sadness

(15x01/15x02)

Hi! We reached the las season from Supernatural!

This is a summary of my metas from season 15, with some new additions after the end of the show.

You can find my metas from these two episode here: X, X , X, X, X , X, and X.

They Keep Fighting

We started season 15 with Destiel driving us to their big fight.

The bickering the sarcasm, is all over between Dean and Castiel.

Talking about frames and visual narrative, also symbolism in the dialogues, we have Sam and Dean in the same page about taking decisions, and Castiel in disagreement. This was deliberately written to show us how Dean and Castiel are walking away from each other.

This scene...

Gifset credit @agusvedder

It shows the mood. It also drives our attention to Castiel's intentions to separate humans from angels, he did it too when he explained Jack that Dean and Sam will die someday. And it will be linked to the very end of the show, in Wich Castiel and Jack are in another high level by rebuilding the Universe and Dean and Sam remain in Heaven.

Another scene was this one:

Gif set credit @wnterfalcon

Even when Dean is so mad At Castiel (in fact, he's mad with himself and he just put all that shit over the man he loves... Things that people used to do) even when he is mad at him, he can't stop checking on him. Because he knows Jack's death hit him strongly, and also, seeing his son being possessed by a filthy demon, it's breaking his heart. But Dean cuts his attempt of talking himself. And of course, Belphegor will mock Castiel about it.

About Belphegor, the Demon of the Divorce

At first I thought he was behaving sarcastically, as a very weird matchmaker between Castiel and Dean, but this was because he represents divorce.

He was enjoying Dean and Castiel fighting like a couple in a crisis for sure. He even will mock about Dean being handsome (indirectly Castiel being handsome). Two beautiful men in love.

Belphegor: Okay. Cool. So, people are, like, crazy good-looking now, eh?

Dean: What?

This observation is linked to season 13: "They're equally beautiful". Belpjegor is trying to mock Castiel and Dean's beauty.

Belphegor: I mean, the last time I was on Earth, I mean, I was human. Ah, it was a while ago. I mean, but, you know, we were all worshipping this giant rock that looked like a huge penis, and... Anyway, folks back then, you know? Had a lot of humps. I mean, a lot. Look at 'em now. I mean, look at you. I mean, you're, uh, you know, gorgeous.

Dean: What? Okay. When are you gonna get out of that body?

The mention of a phallic statue, and people worshipping it, is symbolically talking about Dean and Castiel being in love, passionately in love, with each other. The desire of being together. And then again, he turns to Dean's beauty. All of these comments made Dean very uncomfortable.

Another things about Belphegor enjoying the Destiel Quarrel...

First of all, let's pay attention to the spell and it's ingredients:

This spell is related to season 8 spell to close Heaven! And it's not the only reference to season 8.

And the explanation of why that heart belonged to Dean:

This has to do with the break up in episode 15x07 but also with Castiel dying in episode 15x18.

Closing this episode I want to mention two more things:

Nobody understood Castiel's silent pain, not even Dean. Castiel had to suffer seeing a demon possessing his son but also, he will have to see his body burn.

Another important reference to season 8 besides the spell was the Mausoleum with Carver's name on it.

It was a clear call back to Carver's era, to the crypt scene THE I LOVE THAT NEVER WAS because we will have ANOTHER NOT SAID ILY in this season from Dean.

And these so many call backs to season 8 not just in this season but the reminder of PURITY in season 14 with Michael are linked to the incoming Purgatory 2.0 and more Destiel.

We Are Real

Episode two, we had one couple as a Destiel mirror at the beginning, but it ended up in tragedy, just like our Destiel love story will en in 15x18.

We also had Ketch and Rowena, and Ketch dressed in pink (happiness) showing us that love can be real in wartime.

Another important scene after watching how Dean and Castiel kept working in separated teams ,was the one Castiel tried to give Dean his faith back.

CASTIEL: Ball, right. I didn't tell you about Jack, and then after what happened with your mother...

DEAN: Don't.

CASTIEL: You're angry.

DEAN: Yes, I am angry. At everything. All of it.

CASTIEL: All of it?

DEAN: This mess... all the messes. It turns out that we're just hamsters running in a wheel our whole lives. What do we have to show for it, huh? Tell me you don't feel conned. God's been lying to you, Cas, forever. You bought into the biggest scam in history.

Dean is angry for everything, but mostly, because he feels all his life has been a lie. Something written for Chuck. So he's afraid things he thought were real, are not. Like his love for Castiel. So he needs to know if Castiel is angry too. Aren't you angry that what we feel for each other is not real?

CASTIEL: You don't think I'm angry? After what Chuck did? After what he took from me? He killed Jack. But that doesn't mean it was all a lie.

DEAN: Really?

Dean needs to believe again. If not all was a lie, it could mean...?

CASTIEL: Chuck is all-knowing. He knew the truth, he... he just kept it to himself.

DEAN: Well, now that his cover's blown, everything that we've done is for what? Nothing?

Dean pushes again all his fears. He needs an answer that satisfy him.

CASTIEL: Even if we didn't know that all of the challenges that we face were born of Chuck's machinations, how would we describe it all? We'd call it "life". Because that's precisely what life is. It's an obstacle course, and maybe Chuck designed the obstacles, but we ran our own race. We made our own moves. And mostly, we did well with that.

DEAN: Did we? I'll tell you what we do know. Nothing about our lives is real. Everything that we've lost, everything that we are is because of Chuck. So maybe you can stick your head back in the sand, maybe you can pretend that we actually had a choice. I can't.

And because Dean keeps pushing, Castiel gives him the answer he needs, the answer about them, TFW, bus mostly, about Dean and Castiel:

CASTIEL: Dean. You asked, "What about all of this is real?" We are.

If this is not romantic, then what else can be?

To Conclude:

The beginning of season 15 started by deepening the incoming Destiel big fight.

All is unhoped, pain and Sadness. Despair.

But those three words said by Castiel "We are Real" gives the hopes we need.

Hope you liked this summary, see you in the next one!

Tagging @magnificent-winged-beast @emblue-sparks @weird-dorky-little-d @michyribeiro @whyjm @legendary-destiel @a-bit-of-influence @thatwitchydestielfan @misha-moose-dean-burger-lover @lykanyouko @evvvissticante @savannadarkbaby @dea-stiel @poorreputation @bre95611 @thewolfathedoor @charlottemanchmal @neii3n @deathswaywardson @followyourenergy @dean-is-bi-till-i-die @hekatelilith-blog @avidbkwrm @anarchiana @dickpuncher365 @vampyrosa @authorsararayne @mybonsai1976 @love-neve-dies @dustythewind @wayward-winchester67 @angelwithashotgunandtrenchcoat @trashblackrainbow @deeutdutdutdoh @destiel-shipper-11 @larrem88 @charmedbycastiel @ran-savant @little-crazy-misha-minion @samoosetheshipper

@shadows-and-padlocked-hearts @mishtho @dancingtuesdaymorning @nerditoutwithbooks @mikennacac73 @justmeand-myinsight @idontwantpeopletoknowmyname @teddybeardoctor @pepevons @helevetica @dizzypinwheel @horsez2002 @qanelyytha

@destielle @spnsmile @shippsblog @robot-feels @superlock-in-the-tardis @superduckbatrebel @belacoded @madronasky @anon-non2 @cea1996 @lisafu02 @asphodelesauvage @deancasgirl777

If you want to be added or removed from this list just let me know.

Buenos Aires, July 11 2021 12:58 PM

#destiel #destiel chronicles #destiel meta #supernatural meta #supernatural #season 15 meta #15x01 meta #15x02 meta

[blakegallo]

ngl part of me is blown away at how many times that will scene gets gif'd bc so much of that scene is buck + eddie talking about the sniper in the way that eddie always does, deflecting it back onto chris and reassuring buck that he has a place in his life while simultaneously arguing that buck and eddie have never talked about what happened in 413/414

but also... buck is literally just a godparent. that's all the scene is. it's also the best reason the show has had to kill of a character bc the dialogue itself is meaningless bc we know eddie trusts buck with christopher... and he'll never be the guardian so long as eddie is alive.. so... truly could have stayed in the

anyway i'm definitely annoyed just because i had to see yet another bad faith gifset on the dash. and like. at least it was tagged...

compared to the apparent rampant racism other people have to deal with when looking for their favorites in this fandom me suffering with constant bad faith takes and parallels... it's nothing.. but i want to complain and so here i am.

#monte does life