#like at least poke it first!!

[ganondoodle]

you know the video of a black cat doing stuff it shouldnt and someone going "-gasp- dont do thaaaat!" ?

thats how i felt watching zelda bare-handed, zero hesitation, pick up the magick gummy that just fell from a disembodied, ominously glowing hand attached to a shriveled corpse in the castle basement visibly spewing poison in totks canon intro

like girl, no!! dont do that!

#ganondoodles talks #zelda #totk #like at least poke it first!! #girl what!! #i dont remmeber did she?? fksbfsd #this is half joking but i did feel like shes smarter than that #but plots gotta plot #(even tho it would have worked the same if she used idk a paper towel or her sleeve to pick it up) #not trying to nitpick more but you know #sometimes its the little things that pile up and make a bigger problem #anyway i was working on the intro in my rewrite and then thoguht of that scene and imemdiately had the cat in mind #noooo zelda dont do thaaat

[smultronviol]

Honestly I think the most unforgivable crime comitted by the new ATLA adaptation is bringing back the fucking kataang/zutara discourse🥰

Like, I can forgive a lot, but I can't forgive the fact that my own eyes, in the year of our lord 2024, have to be subjected to takes I first saw on 2011 DeviantArt

#tbf not to poke the hornets nest but its honestly just zutara people complaining abt 'haters' and being 'bullied for their ship' #like could you guys at least double check that the 'hater' opinion ur disagreeing w has actually been expressed by anyone THIS DECADE lol #atla #natla #avatar the last airbender #zutara #kataang #|<- REALLY poking the hornets nest by maintagging these lol. but you know what. maybe i do wanna fight. just to feel something #in that case to be clear im not talking abt zutara fanart or whatever im specifically talking abt the dumb discourse #y'all might not have been in the trenches but i was there and boy was there so much DUMB SHIT from both sides #i dont even care abt either of them lol. literally babys first fandom experience and i had to learn QUICK to avoid both #of them like the fucking plague #honestly is the concept of a 'shipping war' still a thing even? #i havent really been involved in fandom for a while lol but it just feels like such an early 2010s thing #looking at these posts in the atla tag really feels like a time window back to like 2014. even the tone #like is that still a thing? #are you guys bringing back the concept of 'lemon' and 'no flaming plz' next #you really dont want to revive 2012 fandom culture guys fucking trust me

[iwritenarrativesandstuff]

I've always felt that it'd be Killua who initiates the first hug we see between him and Gon

#i have my reasons for this #i feel like i'm in the minority though... i know gon is honest and much more emotionally expressive #but he's not actually more tactile than killua #i... i actually do think that it's killua who initiates much of the contact between them (fistbumps and poking and hand on shoulder) #if i'm not mistaken anyways #and he's very tactile with alluka and nanika (carrying + hugs + handholding) #granted that's his sister(s) but still. killua is far from touch averse - his getting embarrassed is a cute trait to be sure #but i do think he'll get a bit better at accepting that kind of thing once he's had some time with alluka and nanika #a lot of that does come after all from his feelings of unworthiness - and now that his sisters need open affection after so long being alon #he's going to have to gain at least some comfort with giving and receiving love #gon and mito go for hugs either at the same time or mito initiates. gon hugs leorio in the scene right after he's revived #but idk idk i just feel like he won't be the first to initiate a hug with killua especially since i suspect he still feels quite guilty #i think it would show growth on both their parts. not to mention it'd be very sweet to have gon a bit blindsided + happily surprised #as he's the one typically honest and forthright with appreciation and compliments while killua is. not. lmao #i think he should receive a nice hug from his best friend. and then i think they would both know it's gonna be ok. :') #storyrambles #hunter x hunter #hxh #killua zoldyck #gon freecss #this is so sappy. what's wrong with me. this is what they do to me.

[poke-poke-poke]

I can't believe I've never drawn N before,,

#pokemon #n harmonia #pokemon n #natural harmonia gropius #pokemon bw #pokemon black and white #pkmn bw #pkmn black and white #poke's doodles #art #... #i was tempted to tag poke- mas since. him being in it recently reminded me that. Ive never drawn him before................. #anywaysssssss simple ol' doodle - but i had fun with the colours--- #im trying my best to . 'experiment' (meant Verrrrry loosely-) #i like to think that im improving - at least. a little bit??? #.... OH shout out to N for being. my first(?) pkmn character doodle outside of sw/sh??????? #i still cant believe it took this long to draw him though.................

[screwpinecaprice]

I know it’s not a question but i can’t help but appreciate the fact that you draw adult Steven as a chubby guy! We big boys need some positive representation in here. Also, i’ve been following you for almost a year now!

Btw sorry for my English lol.

Hi! It's very pleasing to know you've been around for as long! 😁😁😁 I absolutely appreciate the appreciation! And no worries, your English is super fine! 😁 (Relatable actually. I am also apologizing in advance if I can't exactly have my point clearly across because I'm not well at English myself! lmao)

It took me quite some time to learn how to draw chubby characters but it's so satisfying to have eventually. ( *`u*) (I mean, there's still so much to learn, but still.)

Having a chubby main protagonist is so wonderful to have. And a good kid at that. (Ngl I'm attracted to kindness. haha So of course it's very important to me that he's fat AND kind.)

Also design-wise, I personally think it fits his character so well. Soft and huggable, shaped like a friend. Thick arms to hug people with snuggly. Body wide like a shield. etc. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

And I just really like to capture these elements when I draw him as an adult. Also that it's just fun to draw.

Simply personal thoughts about it, nothing against any other ways he's being portrayed by others of course.

#And it's not even because English isn't my first language. Just generally bad at language. RIP #I had this conversation with someone once where they headcanon he'd get lower back pains if he slim down because of how his gem will #poke or stab his spine #I really like that he's chubby/fat just because. and that he's happy and confident about it #but him being fat not entire by choice is an interesting angle to look at. #I mean obviously he's naturally chubby because of DNA too but you get when I mean. or I hope you do. ;u; #Yo I had a theory.... or at least a headcanon about how his gem is arranged inside his body and how it's practically designed so it can be #passed down eventually without killing him. But I never get to a cohesive written explanation about it so I kept procrastinating. #I like to think the Pink Diamond gem will become like an heirloom. But I digress. #Steven Quartz Universe #Connie Maheswaran #I guess implied connverse #connverse #TFW growing up in media where 'look at us we're different but we are all friends!' And the differences were just personalities and status i #society but the body shapes are practically the same. 😆 #They were the same shape because the merch used the same mold. ^^; But I think that contributed to messing up my perception. #Like. The level of unawareness I had in drawing fat characters is crazy back then. #when I thought I drew a chubby character but the reality was that she was still slim! I still have her saved in my Deviant Art account #Nobody would've known because she's my OC. #If I were to argue with that past me that she's not chubby. Past me would be extremely confused because she is totally convinced that she #drew a chubby character. Mind you I was above 18 then too. #I had another OC I wanted to be really chunky but I was so bad at it that I found an excuse why she's so slim so I can avoid drawing chunky #I did eventually made her chunky but I almost never posted any of my OCs lol. She also have a black and pink theme. 🤔 #Same with skin color but it happened in my own Sona. I have a tan skin tone and I thought I gave my Sona the same skin...but like... Bruh. #I'm even looking at it now. That is kinda pale. RIP #It still baffles me how different I've been seeing thing in the past. Eugh I'm digressing again. :/ #sc answers #ask #luisnavarro04 #meme

[tinygameroom]

I just got the Wounded Wild and I. Am inconsolable. I'm so fucking sorry love of my life I'm so sorry!! Fuck!!

#slay the princess #now playing #as soon as I saw her i started soBBING #weeping even #how could i do that to her... horrible #this was my first time exploring the witch and the wild #and the wild was FASCINATING #especially for something i found (as I often do with fun stuff in this game) basically by accident #i had no idea that would happen #but then once i got to it i was like #very excited to hear the princess in my head #almost conscious of her part in the shifting mound #conscious of me #and i wanted to reach out to her #but at the same time her needing me to ignore the feelings felt wrong #at least from the perspective of the player in that construct #but also i have larger feelings about the shifting mound as a whole like. not listening to you until the very end #anyway i zeroed in on that and had to keep poking the feelings #and i. did not expect it to have such upsetting consequences. #i know it's all temporary and meaningless and she says don't mourn them #but i do mourn them #we hurt her over and over and i feel it every time #and oh my fucking god did i feel this one

[curioshop]

I had enough saved up for my first tattoo and then dental stuff happened so I had to cancel my appointment wahh…

#.txt #when ur body is falling apart like at least let me tattoo it first #maybe I should just learn stick n poke

[faebriel]

Hiya Kai! Hope your day is going good! Do you have any hcs about pre-canon cWil, cSchlatt, and cNiki you'd like to share? :D I miss them so bad

hi holly!!! i hope you're having a good day as well!!! :D i've been writing a lot of these three lately so here are a few random headcanons and such :3

the vibe for the trio in my mind is kind of. wilbur and schlatt are already old friends. wilbur meets niki and they become close friends as well. so it's a bit of a situation where niki and schlatt would consider each other friends but wouldn't really if it wasn't for wilbur. neither of them really acknowledge it but there's a quiet (almost jealous?) little back and forth between them bc they're so different, and wilbur is kind of caught in between. this doesn't become a Problem until later though

schlatt tries teaching niki card games but she has the most godawful pokerface ever. cannot lie to save her life (and often times they're not playing for anything more drastic than who shouts the first round of drinks next time they go out or something so the stakes are not necessarily high. fortunately)

similar wavelength niki and wilbur keep gravitating towards teaming up against him in card/board games bc he wins most of the time otherwise and he's like that's not how you play the freaking game

niki bakes just kind of bc she likes it herself but it does mean whenever they're hanging out she usually has something she can offer them and can make things for birthdays and such. wilbur and schlatt try baking her a birthday cake once and well you saw how wilbur's attempt went in the apology stream. imagine that but two people collaborating who are 1. even less experienced in baking and 2. really don't want to ask for help

by this age (like...late teens early twenties) wilbur is dimly aware there is something not quite right with how his brain works. schlatt is kind of stubborn in the "there's nothing wrong with me" camp but there are early signs of what becomes bigger issues later (insecurity around his health, addiction, etc). as of yet, they kind of consider niki as ""normal"" (ie not like them). wilbur and schlatt are both keenly aware of what each other are dealing with but wilbur's number one priority is that the mask never slips around niki ever. this doesn't last (and kind of drives another division between him and niki vs him and schlatt)

wilbur and schlatt spend some time counterfeiting enchantment books for a living so wilbur and niki decide to spend the time becoming fluent in standard galactic. schlatt is 100% certain they are doing it to talk shit about him (he's only correct like 26% of the time /lh)

wilbur came from the antarctic empire while niki and schlatt were born in warmer regions so he thrives in the cold. they absolutely do not. wilbur stands in the street in a thin button up like wow the weather is lovely today :) while the others have three layers on

kind of friend group to sit in a (minecraft) parking lot 2am and shove each other around in the (minecraft) trolleys. niki complains if they don't put them back after though (works in minecraft retail and hospo)

they have a collective bad habit of getting into spats and not really apologising for them. like two or the three of them will get into a blowout argument one night and the next morning they'll make coffee or go on runs or buy each other drinks or just kind of hang out in each others' space to show they're not mad anymore, but they're not very good at actually saying sorry. or admitting any of them were wrong lol

had a few too many on a night out almost got matching tattoos. got turned away by the tattoo artist for being clearly wasted (in later years this would be called a dodged bullet)

#THEY R SO SPECIAL N COOL TO MEEE......im like 85% the outline of the first chapter of their fic and its already 10k long #'cool' well they are all lameasses. but you get it #a lot of these r quite silly but they are just the vibes that come to me #thank u for enabling my brainrot holly!!!!!!!! #asks #the tattoo thing is so stupid but the implications of a few years later going well :| that was a bullet dodged is so funny to me #specifically sorry. i bet wilbur and schlatt have tried stick and pokes at least once as teenagers anyway #tw alcohol #it comes up a few times

[theygender]

Mine and my girlfriend's special interests are so funny to me bc I'm just like "hi I'm autistic and my special interest is dinosaurs uwu" and then you ask what her special interests are and it's like

The wreck of the Titanic

The Russian Revolution

The assassination of JFK

Unsolved murder cases from the 1800s

Stage magic

#my special interest is way more than just dinosaurs im oversimplifying ahdjska #dinosaurs are actually one of the least interesting parts of deep time to me #but theyre easier for me to talk about bc its the part everyone is already familiar with #my FAVORITE part of deep time is the animals that came before the dinosaurs #ESPECIALLY all the funky little dudes in the cambrian period #but also the beginning of life itself and all the animals that preceded and evolved into the classifications we know today #(the first vertebrates! the first land animals! the ancestors to amphibians and reptiles and mammals and dinosaurs!) #and also the things that came after them? like megafauna are really cool #and i love learning about the evolution of human ancestors too #and maybe even a bit of archaeology instead of paleontology if im feeling spicy (which would be humans less than 10000 years ago) #and theres other cool fields too like paleogeography?? like the study of ancient supercontinents and how they formed?? #anyways im rambling. my point is that i think its funny that i have a somewhat stereotypical special interest with facets that all connect #while she has a lot of seemingly more random ones #a while back i picked up my qpp while i had some of trixies books in my car that she had asked me to return to the library #and as i moved the 6-7 books about the russian revolution out of my passenger seat i was just like #well. you probably can tell which special interest trixie is hyperfixating on right now 😂 #other times she'll check out a bunch of jfk books or titanic books or magic books at once and go through them like crazy #and shes done a lot of personal research into different unsolved murder cases from the 1800s. even wanted to write a book at one point #i know im poking fun here but my gf is one of the coolest people in the world and has really cool special interests #it is my honor and privilege to listen to a goth girl infodump about historical murders and tragic accidents and magic o7 #rambling

[opens-up-4-nobody]

...

#hello darkness my old friend. I have insomnia again #it seems i wont get back to sleep. making this the 4th night in a row of 4 to 5hrs sleep. woof #is it insomnia or am i on the bleeding edge of hyp0mania? idk its weird. i can feel the strain in my head #my thoughts dont connect as well. its like im being pulled in two directions. my brain becoming spaghettified. growing thin around the #middle. but im not as tired as one might expect. ive been pretty productive and optimistic but anxiety and internal restlessness are up #like im tired but also i need to get up and pace around. maybe jump up and down. maybe run in circles. #the energy comes in waves. sitting in lectures or sitting for the extended addition of l0tr has been somewhat unbearable #bc im so contained. i would not ever get up and walk around while those things were happening but i desperately wanted to #ugh. whats my problem? who's to say. could also b the medication. i see the psychiatrist next week and i think ill beg to b put back on #lam1ctal. just bc when i was taking it on a super low does i had a week or feeling the most normal i think i ever have in my life #anxiety and evil thoughts were so small and i felt happy in a way im not sure i ever have been #like i think under normal circumstances i just have a low capacity for joy. at most i feel neutral. like i was telling my friends how i #might do some field work in winter and they were enthusiastic abt it and i kno y bc it sounds cool but idk i just dont feel anything abt it #i cant see past the pain it will take to get there. and i mean mood wise i feel alright on 4bilify like in a nutral way but stable isnt #the same as feeling happy. but maybe its all just in my head. 25mg lam1ctal shouldnt b enough to b effective #but idk i think im just sensitive to the chemicals in my body. including hormone fluctuations. idk. i hope she lets me switch. #itll b a pain in the ass to readjust in terms of going off what im on now and it might not work #but theres literature on retrying lamicta1 and they say to avoid inflammatory reactions in the first 2 months. which i did not do. oops #not that i was trying. i didnt think abt it until id had a million holes poked in my skin and was experiencing a mild tatt00 allergy #ugh. anyway. tbh id prefer this being hyp0mania vs insomnia bc then at least i can continue to function a bit during the day #ive never done anything that wild while hyp0manic aside from injure myself from over exercising and make bad choices in how i spend time #ie become insane abt something and not b able to think abt anything else. ugh. and i guess at this point ive tentatively accepted the idea #of being bip0lar. so i swear to christ if i was misdiagnosed ill b so mad. its just that if i fill out an 4dhd and bip0lar checklist. i #get a way heavy positive with bip0lar and the 4dhd is meh. so i think i just have overlap in symptoms due to dyslex1a and 4utism #ugh. me and my collection of diagnoses. so it goes #unrelated

[lvllns]

1600 words of a 3500 word essay done and i want to eat drywall only a little bit

#reed.txt #reed does college #is it good? who can say but it sure is something #is it due tomorrow? yes let me live i was worried about latin #it's interesting at least to be fair #poking around the song of roland as an accessible piece of first crusade propaganda bc it's written in #a vernacular language rather than latin meaning more people could understand it #it's due at noon tomorrow so like i will be waking up early to finish it up that's just what's gonna be happening here #i'm TIRED my brain HURTS i had a two hour latin exam to day PLEASE

[badolmen]

oh my god this pillow….

Edit: “it can’t be that bad” behold my horrors boy

Ancient pillow as fragile as mummified linen

#ra speaos #personal #listen I grew up Poor and Autistic so as you can imagine I got this pillow second hand as a kid and I’ve had it ever since #I only got a brand new pillow for the first time ever when I was like 18 #but w aforementioned autism I couldn’t let go of my old pillow so I’ve kept it #today I took off its inner cover for the first time in years #(I KNOW ur supposed to wash it like every few months or whatever but like I’ve been using it as a leg support pillow #so it’s not like I have my face on it or anything) #anyways. point is this pillow is DISINTEGRATING #inside the inner cover it has another cover w a zipper and then the pillow itself. both are literally so thin poking it too hard breaks it #the cheap stuffing is all condensed together so at the very least it isn’t messy but like #guys it looks so sad and worn and I refuse to throw it out bc it’ll make me sad :( #besides the inner cover I’m washing now is fine and it’s one of those anti allergen ones so like. it’s fine. it’s fine guys. #aorjrbwhehsjwgshahda the most threadbare and worn pillow you’ve ever seen in your life: put me out of my misery #me. putting the cover back on: shushhhh I’ll reconsider in another 20 years

[roobylavender]

if i really scratch my head i think maybe the one thing all of this could stem from is mere discussion of the fact that talia and selina's histories with bruce sort of operate in the reverse and inevitably that factors into any contention with either relationship. like it can't really be helped that bruce and talia were married very early on into the latter's history and that this is integral to analyzing talia's entire dynamic with bruce, her evolving perception of her own place in the world, and her eventual decision to break free of bruce entirely. the constraints of a marriage with bruce as desired by her father are foundational lore to the early aughts of her character in a way that selina's settled domestic life with bruce is not. if we're talking about the golden age what was foundational to selina's dynamic with bruce was his ability to recognize above everyone else her consistent capacity for mercy despite her villainous goals on the surface. in post-crisis that was translated along the lines of a class struggle specifically. the villainous goals were interpreted to represent a defiance of men and the state and their collective violence, and they also formed a means of survival. what was initially merely a recognition of selina's capacity for mercy now became a potential recognition of bruce's own hypocrisies. selina acted as a symbol for petty criminals in gotham whom bruce would otherwise have written off as immoral wholesale bc to him the law was the law. and the remarkable thing about it was that none of it required selina giving even an inch to bruce. she was who she was and that was what made her utterly compelling to him. it's not a slight against selina that neither marriage nor a close civilian relationship formed the basis of her relationship with bruce and i don't understand why anyone would take it as one. marriage and domestic life for talia was a mark of the utter tragedy of her relationship with bruce. it was a fantasy and a delusion and it could never have given her what she wanted nor lent her any kind of agency in the long term. and i think when we meander into the realm of comparing the relationships we really start to diminish why certain aspects are important to either. why are the various patriarchal restrictions on talia's agency so integral to her character arc and its exploration of freedom? why is selina's existence in a sphere of life entirely distinct of bruce so integral to her character arc and its exploration of class? the constant back and forth between shippers on either end trying to equalize in terms of what either relationship has gone through in canon like it's a checklist to romantic validity is a bit absurd and i wish we would move away from it when analyzing the relationships or the characters

#it reminds me a bit of when i said that i think selina becoming a millionaire was a stupid development #that was insulting to everything newell and grant and moench had tried to build up about her in the early 90s #and people got upset and called me a hypocrite bc talia is rich. like my guy. can i help it that talia is rich #i can't erase her foundational character traits to make some sort of even playing field.. #and frankly the fact that she and bruce are rich /is/ precisely what drives the whole argument about duty between them #they are in no position to complain or grow tired or languish in their reams of wealth #there is a duty they owe to the world while they have power and they have to suck it up and uphold that duty #it is the absolute least they can do and they know that. hence why talia is repeatedly on bruce's ass about it #it is also not lost on me that the above complaint may largely stem from the lazarus affair #where talia was portrayed to be ridiculously haughty and more than willing to show off her wealth #even though she didn't do that in like. any other comic in her pre-assassination era #and the lazarus affair as i have said so many times was a ridiculous comic anyways bc it setup talia and selina to be #combative ship fodder to fuel disagreements between dick and bruce. it is literally the first comic where they were ever #pit against each other. despite the fact that they had co-existed in harmony for a decade prior #and denny o'neil had gone so far as to establish both of them as bruce's definitive love interests in the 70s #like idk man it's not hard to entertain a little more critical thinking and poke at why the comparisons between them are nonsensical #a lot of it. a Lot of it. is stemming from people wanting either ship to one up the other. and you shouldn't fall for it #to be deleted #anyway. not making this rebloggable bc i'm sure you're all annoyed already but this whole thing has really confused me. so i've rambled

[goldensunset]

bestie you'll never guess what just happened. someone (today) came onto my post (an ask that you sent to me IN MARCH) where i complained about people who harass people over liking khux, to complain about kh being too confusing and how it shouldn't have such a large overarching plot. then immediately got defensive when people starting clowning on them. they said "i agree we shouldn't harass people over liking games" and then harassed someone over liking kh

um what. time to visit your blog ig

#first of all i swear time stamps should be mandatory #it does not matter what your opinion is it's gonna be annoying if it's on an ancient post #second of all...i don't know how people are so utterly incapable of reading the room #it's not even social subtext anymore it is straight up context. like you could say 'i hate when people do this' #and they wouldn't understand #and if they don't understand it is their fault sorry #like... man idk do they poke hornets' nests for fun or something. surely they must know #asks #rosie-kairi #i swear it feels like we have to have this conversation at least once a month #how many times do we have to make these posts

[dutybcrne]

Unless Kaeya is completely comfortable with the person, he would never actively want to have sex with someone facing them nor from the front. The last thing he wants is for them to see/feel him like that, especially if fully undressed

#suggestive #//First sinday hc whoop whoop #hc; kaeya #//The exceptions outside his special few are ones he wants smth out of he knows might get off on his body #//it’s maddeningly dysphoria inducing; esp with some of the things they might say; and always leaves his skin crawling #//But it’s nothing a little booze and pride in getting smth he wanted out of it to can’t help cope #//Not entirely wash away; but at least ease the burn of it a little #//The select few allowed to see him fully are numbered enough to be counted on One hand #//And even then; the whole time through the first few goes with him; he WILL be analyzing each and every reaction and word they say #//What extra non-related info can I fit in here hmm #//Deffo a power bottom; but will happily jump at the chance to peg sb if given the opportunity #//Really likes taking initiative and pleasing his partner; though is okay being used by them from time to time #//He just likes the feeling of being in control of himself and the situation most #//will only willingly give it up; again; for the sake of getting smth he wants out of the other or if he really trusts the other person #not to take things too far. That; or he’s being incredibly self-destructive; but that's a WHOLE other can of worms #//He doesn’t mind if the other person is rough with him or not; so long as he can still have an opening to turn tables he’s fine #//Will let them do whatever; but once he starts reaching his limits & starts poking for ways to fight back? #//If he can’t find one; it Will get ugly #//Has retaliated quite viciously to those who cross lines with him; esp if he knows it was deliberate. Severity varies depending #//Playful competitiveness and attempts to quell him to submission are fine; but if he starts feeling it’s getting a little Too serious #THEN it’s a problem. Has only happened a handful of times; but he’s still wary of it #//Shit what do I tag on that last bit #//Adding to a previous bit; he won't mind taking on a more passive role if his partner wants it; esp if necessary #//Really; most anything goes with him so long as he has an out or two; give him that much and he's good #//He won't mind setting his preferences aside for whatever reason so long as he has that much #//Will still playfully try and tug the reins out of his partner's hands though; can't & won't change that he'll still be a lil shit about i #//That is a MUST. It's so fun to him esp if they get annoyed enough to try and fuck it out of him

[vagueiish]

i think it's kinda funny that my perception of a!astarion jumps between 'the most cartoonish of villains, would steal candy from a baby while cackling maniacally' and 'oh. huh. he almost certainly would make spawn!oli murder his entire home-village as punishment for wanting to go back even just long enough to say goodbye, wouldn't he?' they can definitely coexist, but it's a fun spectrum, lmao

...oh. but. the thing is, it wouldn't just be punishment. there'd be some kind of love (or something resembling it, i suppose) behind the order. because he'd have learned some of oli's history, would know that maybe he wasn't quite treated right. at least by his grandfather. and maybe initially he only intends to have oli cut that tie, quite literally, but ofc he insists on going with and he learns even more of oli's history and abuse he suffered at the hands of his grandad and others and the fact that the village knew of ways he was being abused but turned a blind eye.... well. these people have all had a hand in hurting astarion's most precious treasure. and while he wants to rip out their throats personally for their Crimes, he wouldn't want to deprive oli the chance to punish them all himself. at that point, he considers the opportunity a gift, i think.

and if he ends up having to compel oli to do all of this? he'd consider it less completely removing oli's autonomy and more giving him a little push. oli’s heart may no longer be beating, but it never stopped bleeding, after all, and he's still far too soft to even consider giving his neighbors exactly what they deserve. but they do deserve it. and if astarion needs to get oli out of his own way in this, then so be it. he'll be stronger for it. he’ll thank astarion later, surely

#oh. huh. #he manages to twist the whole exercise from a punishment to a reward. fuck… #at least. yknow. in his own eyes #he'd make him kill the children too #would be fucked about it #some shit like: #'would you truly want to leave a horde of orphans to fend for themselves? i thought you were kinder than that #killing them is the humane thing to do surely' #but lowkey jabbing at him #also at some point dismissing oliver freaking out about murdering his entire village #something about how he helped kill the 7000 spawn and also all the people's he killed on the tadpole journey and for astarion since #a few hundred people is nothing #or. shit. it’s a tiny tiny bumfuck nowhere village. maybe a hundred people??? #idk. I still need to iron out those deets of his backstory #i have other ideas i want to jump on for writing first if i can just muster up the...everything to do so #and considering spawn!astarion is oliver's canon i'd rather poke around at those first #also this idea is much too involved lmao. probably would not be a oneshot #but i wanna do something with this #wish i had the skill lmao #oc: could it be this misery will suffice? (oliver) #to the void with love