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upon-a-starry-night · 4 months

Text

Number Neighbors Pt. 14

Natasha Romanoff x Fem! Reader

Natasha Masterlist Series Masterlist

Word Count: 1k

Summary: When you catch sight of the newest trend going around you know you’re all but bound to at least try it, it was harmless anyway. What could possibly stem from something so little?

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(This chapter takes place a little before last chapter of Nat’s pov)

The taste of the dessert was still simmering on your tongue as you walked home from your date. The thought that Nat had maybe seen you hadn’t left your brain since you got that note. The one you were still desperately clutching in your hand, rereading it over and over again and imagining Nat writing it. Her handwriting fits her personality so much. You wondered if she would be open to the idea of becoming pen pals.

The second you’d read the note you’d scrambled out of your seat to catch the waiter and ask if she was still there but he only shook his head and gave you a pitying smile.

“Can you at least tell me what she looked like?” You didn’t know if you were breaking some unspoken rule of whatever game you were playing with Nat but you had to know. More than anything you had to know.

The waiter picked up a few glasses and plates and put them on his tray before turning to you

“I couldn’t see much, she was wearing a hoodie and sunglasses. You’d think she was a celebrity or something. Is she… your stalker?”

Before he could get the wrong idea you quickly shook your head no at his accusation

“She’s… a friend?” you don’t know why it sounded so much like a question, both of you had agreed you were beyond strangers now but… what you felt towards Nat didn’t always feel like friendship. It felt like those moments when time stood still;

Like when you feel a cool breeze on the hottest day of the summer,

Or when you snuggle under warm blankets in the winter,

Or settling down somewhere with a cup of something warm and a good book.

She felt like all the little moments you loved about life combined into a person.

Your mother would probably call you naive for feeling so strongly about someone you’d never even met but she’d technically already approved of Nat anyway.

“Is there nothing you can remember about her?” you tried to keep up with the guy as he walked to pick up after another table

You felt a few expensive-looking people look your way but you didn’t pay them any mind.

The waiter huffed and stopped in his tracks, turning to you with the patience only a person who works in customer service could have.

“Look- a bit of her hair was sticking out from under her hoodie, it seemed- brownish? Maybe more of an auburn? I don’t really know I wasn’t paying attention. But if you really need to know so badly we have a tech guy coming up in a few weeks, I could have him send you the alley surveillance footage?” You could tell this guy was over you asking a million questions so you nodded your head enthusiastically. Glad to have at least that much. As you scribbled down your email you thought of your number neighbor with brownish-auburn hair. Somehow, you felt like you already knew her hair would be darker.

As you were rounding the corner onto your block your phone pinged with a notification and you were surprised to see Nat’s contact on your screen.

‘It’s about time’ you thought to yourself as you realized this was the first time Nat had texted you first, completely unprompted.

You swiped open the message with a satisfied smile on your face.

Nat🔪:

Enjoy your dinner?

Y/n🍦:

It was okay.

The dessert was the best part.

Nat🔪:

Oh yeah?

Y/n🍦:

Definitely.

Putting your phone away, you unlocked the door to your apartment, entered the flat, and locked the door again before making a B-line for your fridge. You snatched an old grocery list off and replaced it with the napkin. It settled nicely under your baguette-shaped magnet.

You started at the note for a few minutes, unsure how to go about addressing what had transpired.

If you even should address it.

What if it made her run again? You wouldn’t be able to handle her silence like last time. You’d grown too attached.

Shaking your head you decide to just go for it, rip the band-aid right off. If she disappeared again then it was her loss.

But if she was confident enough to text you first this time then maybe things would be different?

Nat🔪:

Y/n🍦:

You were there

The reply took a few seconds and you tried your best to channel your inner monk for some patience

Nat🔪:

I stopped by

Y/n🍦:

You were there.

Again the three little typing bubbles taunted you and you wanted to pull them out of your phone and throw them in a blender but you knew it just meant she was second-guessing every answer she could give you. You’d gotten used to her texting habits.

Nat🔪:

…

I was.

Y/n🍦:

Did you… see me?

Nat🔪:

No.

You don’t know why you breathe out a sigh of relief. Part of you thinks it’s because you want your first meeting to be mutual. To see each other for the first time at the same time. So you can know what she thinks of you by just the look in her eyes.

At least if she had seen you and she was lying you could know that she thought you were pretty enough to continue texting.

Nat🔪:

I never even stepped foot in the restaurant

That much you knew from the waiter, but it still felt good that she was telling you. Like she was validating your unspecified want of seeing each other for the first time together. It always felt like she just knew things about you without you ever telling her. Maybe she was a long-distance mind reader. If that were the case she should really get hired by The Avengers.

The thought makes you huff out a light laugh and reminds you of when the two of you first started talking. It felt like so long ago now. You’d come a long way since then.

Y/n🍦:

Thank you.

It was delicious

It made my night honestly

Nat🔪:

Anytime, Y/n.

I’m glad.

You didn’t know what Nat was doing on her side of the city but you wondered if maybe she was grinning at her screen like a fool the same way you were.

You changed the topic of your conversation with Nat as you began getting ready for bed and not once did it occur to you that you hadn’t thought of your actual date the entire night.

Pt 15

A/n: Y/n learns a little about what Nat looks like!!

I meant it when I said slow burn guys but don't worry this story won't be too long!!~ Starry

---Taglist--

@marvelwomen-simp @cd-4848 @wandanatlov3r @rebeltombraider @ctrlamira @fxckmiup @aliherreraaa @natsxwife @la-douler-ne-finite-jamais @romanoffsgal @moistblobfish @natashaswife4125 @elenimoris @how-to-disappearrr @screechcat @toouncreativeforausername @ordelixx @autorasexy @blacklightsposts

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blindmagdalena · 3 months

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Hiiii it's me again!

I just wrapped up a full-on binge of your series with Homelander and Layla, and honestly, I've got to get a few things off my chest about these two. I'll try to keep this short, but there's a lot to unpack, and if you're not up for the essay I'm about to write here, feel free to skip it. Starting with Layla's profession — genius. It just clicks, right? With a job like hers, it's totally believable that she'd cross paths with a guy like Homelander. That guy's desperate for any scrap of affection he can get, doesn't really matter if it's genuine or not. And in your story, it feels like we get a dash of both. It's refreshing because usually, OCs just snap their fingers and suddenly, Homelander's all about them, which feels a tad forced.

But Layla? She's different. Their first serious meet-up perfectly demonstrates her patience. And her smarts? She's ten steps ahead, seeing right through Homelander's act — you know the one where he pretends he's too cool for the room. Her ability to play him like a fiddle from the get-go, just by stroking his ego, is just so spot on. It's not just her cunning that stands out, though. Layla knows exactly when to use emotional leverage, she's insightful about Homelander's neediness, hence the booked meeting. She's not your typical 'strong woman' character — thank goodness we're not talking about those overdone, one-dimensional types that come off as watered-down male heroes. Love that she's profoundly intelligent, perceptive, and strategic in her emotional connections. She's an exemplary character not wedged into the role of being “strong” but one who utilizes her understanding and empathy as powerful tools.

I'm sold on her character (if you can't tell.) And I'm really going all out here because as I revisit the first chapters to talk about this, I keep finding new reasons to appreciate her more. I want to dive deeper into my thoughts, but I'm probably just rambling now, so I'll cut myself off. You've single handedly got me working on my personal oc again lmfao. Just a last note, it's cool to see an original character who isn't some superpowered being for a change. It adds layers to the world you've built that I'm just here for. I'm gonna read a few other fics you have linked about your ocs — I came for the x reader fics and stayed for the ocs LOL.

— 💌

you genuinely took my breath away with this! my heart is so full and warm, i could cry. i can't tell you how many times i reread this this morning! i'm very tender-hearted when it comes to my original characters, and i was quite nervous starting an oc fic, but this makes me SO happy that i did!

please don't ever apologize for writing essays like this, i honestly want to print this out and hang it on my wall. thank you SO MUCH for not only reading my fic but taking the time to send me such an incredibly thoughtful message about my girl Layla. it really does mean the world to me!!! and i really can't wait to get back to writing Eat Your Ego.

i'm really happy that she's coming across so well! i knew that i would have to be careful in how i wrote her for the fact that she IS human, and there's a very delicate balance to be had in interacting with Homelander. there's a tension there that yeah, one wrong move and she really and truly has no defense against him aside from her wits, so i needed her empathy and intellect to be sort of a super power of their own.

i was worried she would come across as omniscient or meta, so i tried to lean into the fact that Homelander's ego and power trips really do just have him behaving like the type of men she would regularly encounter in her line of work.

aaahhh, gosh, even responding to this i reread it a whole bunch. thank you so much, darling. i'm going to treasure this message! 🖤

#sorry it took me a bit to respond i was legitimately just so taken aback and smitten hahaha i wanted to write up a proper reply #💌 anon #ask and you shall receive #darling anon #homelander x oc

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mypoisonedvine · 4 months

Note

🎢🍆👀😅⛔️ for the asks!

(Sorry if that’s too many lol)

not too many at all!! sorry for the slow reply lol I had a busy night

🎢 Which of your fics would you call your wildest ride?

I guess that depends on what you think is wild! if anything I might have to say my very dark marvel fic seven against one-- it's got so much going on (I mean it's literally seven men and one woman), you never really know what to expect, and it's insanely twisted and kinky. that was a long time ago so I'm not necessarily saying it's any good, but it's probably my "wildest" fic by a certain standard. I don't think I have the patience to write something like that now lol

🍆 Do you write the spicy stuffs? If so, what's your most popular nsfw fic?

well it's safe to say I write nsfw 😂 probably hundreds of fics on here by now and there are easily less than 10 that don't have smut. I thought my most popular fic was my first ever eddie munson fic, but it's actually this dilf!steve harrington request by just a few hundred notes. I never expected that one to blow up like it did!

👀 Tell me about an up and coming wip please!

I'm working on something for Zemo inspired by the look Daniel had in the zookeeper's wife-- cause that character is not it but the styling is so sexy 😭 it's dark with some very fun power dynamics!

😅 What's a story or scene you've created that you're a smidge embarrassed exists?

I'm not sure about outright embarrassed, but I do reread old stuff and think I could do it better if I did it now. I won't name names but I went through a really old series of mine and thought the whole thing was just sort of bland and rushed. things happened faster than I could explain the emotions and reasoning behind them. I think part of why I used to write that way is because I always imagined my fics as movies, and movies take place through action and not internal thought. so while I still am a very "visual" writer, I'm a lot better at actually describing how people are feeling and why they're doing what they're doing.

⛔ Do you have a fic you started, but scrapped?

about a billion... I have multiple abandoned series, most of which I never even discussed on here, with over 10k already written. and they'll never see the light of day!

thank you for asking these!!

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saintobio · 3 years

Note

okay so ch8 hurt a lot more than i thought and i’m actually trying not to cry for multiple reasons and like i’m nervous and so heartbroken for y/n bc she is actually traumatized and that the possibility of sera getting pregnant is a possibility and is it bad i think i’m numb from angst??? like this is probably the heaviest angst i’ve ever read and idk like sometimes my mood is like up and down constantly bc of this series (i promise this isnt an attack) and i think now i just kinda want to take a depression nap but i’m so hurt for y/n bc i think i relate to her a lot to the point to where its scary sometimes like trying to keep the peace to not rock the boat too much really hits home and so does honestly having to bottle everything up at the sake of your own sanity. also i’m so upset bc y/n doesnt even know that gojo actually rawdogged his mistress out of spite afterwards bc she passed out from the distress of arguing and basically losing her patience and i feel like she might blame herself for that when gojo was in the wrong (the raw sex) and honestly she deserves better and at this point i’m rambling so ill stop

damn this was long asf either way i suck at expressing myself but i’ll try harder next time :\

more below

Anonymous said

i just finished reading chapter 8 and i feel completely broken. im literally crying and shaking and had to take a pause. i wanted to mention how me and y/n have thalassophobia. also… i knew it. sera is such a manipulative bitch. how dare she say the things that she says when she. is. the. mistress?!! she must want her life to be harder than it is bc just like y/n said in the eyes of society -even if to her and him she was first (she wasnt)- she is gonna be a whore. someone like gohoe’s stepmom. using him just to climb up. gojoe is such a stupid ass bitch. i literally lost feelings for him today just like y/n. how dare he get mad when he knows the shit him and his mom went through inside a marriage like that. the mf came inside sera’s stupid ass too. im glad geto said something. im so happy his friends are mad at him. im glad to know they wasn’t okay with this situation in the first place but were trying to be good friends. gojoe is so stupid omg. i was literally crying the whole time. funny of him thinking that no one else would fuck us aside from him as if toji wasn’t there and as if he didn’t get jealous over the way guys were looking at y/n. tbh, idc if they end up together or not. im a hard simp for gojo but this is a story where i wouldn’t mind it at all if y/n doesn’t end up with him. what a mf. i understand that he has gone through stuff but the way he treats y/n has no excuse!! like literally no excuse. i feel bad for what he goes through but he is just taking it out on her. im sorry if this doesn’t make sense but i’m still going through the emotional pain of this chapter. poor y/n.

Anonymous said

Well that chapter was… really something else. My heart was hurting for y/n the whole time. However, I’m so happy that y/n finally voiced her feelings about everything Gojo’s put her through, I can’t even be that upset with her for throwing his mother leaving back in her face. And sera’s bitch ass brings out the most violent of tendencies within my soul, with her fake niceness and bitchiness. I hope karma hits her like a freight train, her having a prior relationship with Gojo in no way excuses this bullshit behavior of hers. Please tell me she doesn’t end up with Gojo, even if Gojo and y/n don’t end up together, she doesn’t deserve it or even him at this point. I’m glad that Geto and Shoko stood up for her the whole time and made bora bora more bearable, but Gojo just needs Jesus and therapy. Until then, Toji x y/n ❤️

Anonymous said

I am so excited for the future chapters. Can't wait for gojou to get a taste of his own medicine. I was rereading the earlier chapters and oof the things he said and did to mc hit even harder. I really don't know how anyone can move past the trauma and pain he inflicted on her. I don't know what the general consensus is among all the readers, but at this point I really REALLY want mc to find happiness and I don't think gojou is it 😔 It goes without saying though that we would absolutely love anything you decide to do plotwise. Thanks for the update! Please remember to take care of your health and please don't feel pressured to update if it interferes with your life and health. We are not going anywhere:))

Anonymous said

I have no words just that wow, you did an amazing job, i am speechless, SN is becoming my fav fic ever, I- i don't know what to say...You re such a talented writer, thank you for this chapter. THANK UUUUUU

but okay,,,,FUCK SERA AND GOJO THO FUCK THEM BOTH.I CAN'T STAND SERA BITCH ILL DROWN YOU.As for Gojo,,,I FEEL SO BAD CAUSE I CAN'T FUCKING HATE HIM I WANT HIS REDEMPTION ARC IM SO SORRY Y'ALL CAN HATE ME FOR THIS;((((((

this was incredible, very excited for whats coming, i fully trust you, my heart is in your hands do what you want with it SKKSKS take care of yourself and stay hydrated!!! MWA BIG KITH - 🍬

( manifesting Gojo's infertility)

Anonymous said

sera fr gonna babytrap gojo huh...

gosh i wish them the worst. im so glad the bestest person ever y/n finally decided to tell what she actually feels about their messed up situation, like you go girl i will hold your purse, show them who's the boss. and if there are sera and gojo apologists out there, why? please i knew sera was fucking suspish even back then and the audacity to come at y/n like that, gosh makes my blood boil fr. sometimes i wish y/n doesn't play by the rule and straight up be mean and put sera and gojo on a lot of blocklist so at least the thing sera moaning about how selfish y/n be comes true. pull the strings and show badass you are, y/n, maximize your power as an heiress. do it for capitalism! /j. Y/N CORRUPTION ARC WHEN!!

Anonymous said

OH SHIT IDK FUCK UHM FUCK I JUST FINISHED THE CHAPTER I WOKE UP AT 4AM FOR THIS I SET AN ALARM ON GOD AND ITS FUCKING BREAKING ME OMYGHOD JWDISISJAIXJAIDJW FUCKING SATORU MAN HE DIDNT FUCKING PULL OUT FAST ENOUGH IM GONNA BEAT THE SHIT OUT OF HIM, HIS SEEDS BETTER BE SLOWING THE FUCK DOWN

but fuck i love him too much fr fr, anyways on the other note i love Ieiri and getou so much if i could only bitch slap sera the fuck out of this world i would've

and to think i gave that bitch the benefit of the doubt cause it make sense for her to hurt and be with gojo even after he got married since they were together initially but bitch IMMA CLAMP THE FUCK OUT OF HER FACE IF HE DOES NOT STAY ON HER FUCKING LANE SHE OUT HERE TESTING MY FUCKING PATIENCE ON GOD

i super love and adore ur writing btw hehe

Anonymous said

OMG CH:8 has mee so livid istg I can’t even explain. YES!!! Y/n out here finally standing up for herself and slapping tf out of Hoejo, and the whole “your mom” thing I CACKLED ALDOSWBDO it was so mean yet deserving like

I love the realization for both Getou and Shoko they both finna drop Hoejo and get a new bestie bc gurl they are not for it😩

correct me if I’m wrong but you said said gojo decided to pull out of Sera, but it was “the rest” of it…. ARE YOU TELLING ME THAT HE ACTUALLY C*ME in her😮😮😮

Bc if that’s the case and point

Sera’s whole “if I have his baby then imma have him too.” crap is end game.

But anways I loved this chapter! It was a sad read but I can’t wait for the reverse role arc!

hello edit response later when my headspace isn’t 📉 thank u to everyone who submitted asks ai needs some rest for now 😭

#saintobio.asks #series: sincerely not

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weebsinstash · 4 years

Text

The Storm, pt 2 // yandere EraserMic x F!Reader

shit’s getting fucking TENSE guys! ao3 link is over here for keeping track of the story and series as a whole in case you forget what’s happened or just wanna reread through again!

warnings for this part are: homicidal thoughts, suicidal thoughts, abusive relationship, verbal/emotional/physical abuse, stockholm syndrome, uhhh power imbalance i guess. this chapter is honestly just one massive argument tbh. certain people are starting to lose their patience at not getting what they want

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Killing them in their sleep is something you’ve thought of before.

Both men are lost deep in unconsciousness as you stand over them, cloaked in complete darkness as you stand there in their bedroom. Shouta is more physically fit and well-versed in physical combat, but Hizashi’s Quirk can render you powerless without even coming near you. Ideally, you would have access to your Quirk and take out Shouta first, killing him quickly before he would even be awake, and then using your ability to manipulate Hizashi into becoming distracted until you could go for him too.

You couldn’t do it anyways, though. The security system locks down the house with a keycard and passcode, and you know nothing about where or what those might be. You would just end up trapped in a house with corpses until you starved to death. That would be too cruel a fate for Mochi, too.

Still, it’s a horrible feeling, thinking of slashing their throats while looking at their peaceful faces like some kind of monster. What’s worse is that even considering it feels you with painful, tearing, heart-breaking guilt. They can probably find out you’ve been doing this lately if they don’t already know; you’ve always had a feeling there were hidden cameras all over the house. It sounded like something crazy they would pull, and logically, it made sense. After all, if you were such a precious captive, they needed to make sure you weren’t getting up to anything troublesome, eating properly. But what was the extent of that surveillance, you wonder? Do they only check the footage when they need to know something? Do they bother seeing what you do while they’re sleeping? Is it recording all the time? Which rooms are the cameras in? Where are they hidden? Are there cameras in your bedroom? Did they watch you sleep? Is there some kind of twisted scrapbook full of photos, or—

You have to force yourself to think of anything else; it’s too overwhelming.

Tears start to brim in your eyes as you can’t help but think of better days, days before you knew the two of them had intentions. Getting drunk on the couch and watching comedies that made you laugh so hard you snorted, and then getting embarrassed when they acted like it was just the cutest thing they had ever seen. Being unable to sleep at night, crawling out of bed to find Shouta listening to his husband’s radio show and his little tired chuckles at the blonde’s dumb jokes. How happy Hizashi always looked when you gushed about his delicious cooking and stuffed your face with it. That time you woke up early in the morning to find them in the kitchen in nothing but tight boxers, getting teased for checking them out (which you denied but really, Hizashi had caught you looking right at Shouta’s ass, so who were you trying to kid). How thankful and happy and seen you had felt when they learned you lost your job and invited you to move in.

Silently, you’re crying, and retreat from their room to your own to throw your face into a pillow to weep. Maybe if you hadn’t gotten drunk that night and started talking about everything so personal, they wouldn’t have come onto you. Maybe if you had just decided to take a risk and give them a chance you wouldn’t even be here right now, permanently home under lock and key. Maybe you shouldn’t have made all those jokes about killing yourself and made yourself seem so crazy and helpless that they felt no choice but to save you from yourself.

Maybe this would all be different, maybe things could have been wonderful, if you hadn’t ruined it.

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It doesn’t feel like very long until morning comes, and Hizashi is whistling as he tends to the stove, clearly in a good mood as he prepares breakfast for the day. After a small handful of staff meetings attended by some very burnt-out Heroes, most UA staffers were currently enjoying a spontaneous but well-earned vacation while all of the students were on break, one that was desperately needed after so many recent run-ins with Villains and other disasters. Shouta was deeply appreciating getting to sleep in, waking up with a cup of coffee while his husband cooked. It was around 10, and both of them were eager to be able to relax at home with their sweethearts.

They figured it wouldn’t be much longer until you were up to join them. You were defiant at having a curfew in the first few weeks, sure, but after a while you didn’t feel like fighting with them on it and adjusted to the rule. Nowadays, the two had a pretty good idea of the time range in which you typically woke up, often times you already having your eyes open when one came to get you.

“Hey handsome?” Hizashi pipes up, sending the broody teacher a look over his shoulder while food sizzles in the hot skillet before him. “Mind goin’ to check out our baby? See if she’s up and with it yet? This grub’s almost done.”

“Got it. About time for her to get up anyways.” Aizawa answers, pushing himself up from his spot at the table. You had been exceptionally well-behaved in the last month --minus the recent hiccups-- as if the affections you returned to the both of them weren’t enough to speak for themselves. It just felt right to have you not fighting anymore, such was the way things should have always been. Maybe it wouldn’t take much longer until you were settled in completely, or so they like to talk to each other and fantasize about. Wouldn’t that be nice?

There’s a light rapping of his knuckles on your bedroom door as Shouta speaks. “Are you up? Breakfast is almost ready.”

If you’re awake, you don’t reply. Perhaps you couldn’t sleep last night and stayed up too late yet again, the Hero figures as he slowly pushes open the door, quickly proven wrong as hushed sniffles and tiny gasps reached his ears. You don’t acknowledge the man’s presence as he approaches your bed, the comforter pulled up to your neck as you clutch the softness around you, crying quietly. “What’s the matter?” He asks softly, brushing his fingers over your hair, a motion that just made you shift farther from him, words muffled into your pillow.

“Go away… I don’t want to see you right now…”

Aizawa quirks his mouth, and you feel your bed dip with his weight as he sits on the edge. “Why? Are you upset with me or something?”

You grab a pillow to hold tightly in your arms, squeezing it for comfort with your back to the Hero. “I’m never not upset with you, with either of you. Just… just leave me alone.”

He just huffs. “Well, is there something new you’re upset about? You’ve been fine all month.”

You curl in tighter around yourself and murmur something too low for the man to hear, causing him to lean closer to you. “What?” Aizawa questions. “You have to speak up if you want me to hear you.”

There’s a sharp breath before you speak. “I said… ‘it’s almost September’.”

“What?” Shouta repeats, tone almost having a bit of whimsy in it, like you’re being silly. “Why is that a problem? You’re going to have to be more specific than that.”

His amusement is cut short as you start to cry harder. “I met you guys and moved in March, you brought me to this prison in May, and now it’s almost fucking September and I’m still here!”

Ah. This is going to be one of those mornings again. Aizawa just sighs, reaching out for you, but the second his hand touches your shoulder you slap it away, shooting upright to face him as if to stay on-guard. Your eyes are red and swollen, body language guarded and tense as you shift further and further away. “I said get out,” Escapes a shaky command from your quivering lips. “Get out and don’t come back.”

Shouta pinches the bridge of his nose, exhaling a frustrated huff. You’re just being shy again or something, he figures, and he reaches out to cup your cheek like he had the night the two of you had cuddled. You slap his hand away so hard it stings, and you move further away until your back is pressed against the wall, and the pillow is clutched in your arms tighter, as if it would protect you somehow, as if you were cowering from him. The way the Hero’s body tenses in agitation is noticeable, and you can see him clench his jaw.

“Hizashi is waiting for both of us.” There’s a sort of growl to his voice, a warning if anything. “Just come down and eat. You’re acting ridiculous over nothing. It’s like you’re trying to find stupid reasons to be upset.”

He can see the very second those words leave his mouth that you’re offended, your nails digging into the pillowcase between your fingers like you were trying to draw blood. “I’d rather starve.” Spiteful venom drips off your every syllable. “I hope you choke on it.”

Your bed shakes as Aizawa stands abruptly, glowering down at you like some disappointed father. “Fine, be that way. We both know you’ll have to eat something eventually, so whenever you stop throwing your tantrum, we’ll be waiting.”

You’re practically grinding your teeth as he’s closing the door behind him, and you can’t help throw one final dagger quietly under your breath.

“Not if I kill myself first.”

It’s a big mistake; your door is flung back open and smacking against the wall as Shouta whips around to face you immediately. “You better not have said what I think you just said.” That deep voice rasps as he comes close once more, and he manages to grab your arm, hauling you out of bed and to your feet, his face only inches from your own. Renewed tears start rolling down your cheeks as he holds you up by a harsh grip on your arms, uncomfortably close to the point you could smell the coffee on his breath. “So? You wanna say that again?” He says it like a challenge but you don’t dare speak, just curling your arms around yourself, turning your head to look down and away, all but shriveling up in his clutches. “You don’t get to make disgusting jokes like that, so apologize,” Aizawa demands, and when you refuse to respond, he gives you a shake, causing a pitiful and pathetic whimper to leave you, a small, scared sound that makes you cry harder. “Apologize!”

The intensity of his voice alone makes you want to start shaking, and an anxious reply squeaks out of your mouth almost desperately, frantically. “Sorry!! I’m sorry!!”

“Shouta, what’s going on?”

Tension ebbs from the dark-haired teacher’s grip as both of you look to the blonde staring in the doorway. “Nothing; everything is fine. It’s just someone,” He jerks you in front of him. “having a bit of an attitude, but we’re all going to head downstairs and have a nice breakfast, aren’t we?”

You just try and pull your arm out of his grip, and he only squeezes harder. “Either you go down by choice or get dragged down by force.” Aizawa warns. “So which is it going to be?”

“I’m not hungry.”

“I don’t care. The least you can do is sit at the table.”

Stand your ground, you tell yourself. It’s because you’ve been so complacent that they walk all over you. If you fought more until they hated you, maybe you would be let go. Or killed. Really you’ll take what you get at this point.

“No. I don’t want to be around you.”

“Please don’t make us get nasty, princess. You’ve been so good lately.” Hizashi’s tone has a subtle begging to it.

“Being good, or just trying to get a couple of psycho rapist creeps off my back?!” You snap in response, and not a moment later do you feel pain; a harsh sting to your backside. Shouta had-had spanked you, and quick as lightning, your mind, your memories, drag you into the depths of an awful, vulnerable place. They… they never… neither of them had ever hurt you before. Every bit of strength leaves you, mentally, physically, as you instantly begin to cry.

“That was uncalled for. We’re trying to build trust here.” Yamada scolds, and through tears you can see he’s looking not at you, but his husband. “Look, you made her cry!”

“Her smart mouth is what’s uncalled for, and she’s just making herself cry anyways, sitting and whining about which month it is like it even fucking matters.” He still hasn’t let go of your arm, leaving you with only one hand to cover your eyes as if you wanted to hide the wetness running down your face. “Maybe if we actually put our foot down and weren’t constantly letting her do and say as she pleases all the time, she’d stop regressing like this.”

You open your mouth to reply, but you just imagine him spanking you again or harder or worse and your teeth are all but bashing together with how quickly you shut it. “See?” Shouta gestures. “It’s already working.”

Breakfast is a lot less enjoyable with you crying at the table. Your nose is stuffy, leaving you to have to breathe through tiny gasps that you tried to make as quiet as possible. Shouta is permanently tense, and you shrink into your chair every time you manage to make eye contact. Hizashi manages to meet your gaze but… only briefly. Does he feel bad? At least he… sort of stood up for you. Not that it was nearly enough. Not that it didn’t mean he wasn’t complicit and an active participant in everything that happened to you. Sadness gives way to anger, and in your current state, the more you think about it, the more you realize just how incredibly shitty they way they treated you really was.

“…You guys wouldn’t be treating me this way if I was a man.”

Brows raise at you, and you bitterly keep your eyes in your lap. “Always trying to control me, getting angry when I reject you, always trying to give me all of these clothes that have all this lace and fringe and all the pastels and the fucking nicknames.” Hands clench into tight fists. “You treat me like I’m some kind of pet. You don’t respect me because you just see me as some stupid, weak, helpless fucking woman who needs you to protect me. I bet if I was a guy I wouldn’t even be here right now.”

Hizashi laughs, the sound cutting you right where it hurts. “Hear that, Shouta? Calling her princess and buying her brand-new clothes that aren’t covered in holes and old stains because we love her makes us misogynists.”

Aizawa’s grin shows too many teeth. “Look at us; just a couple of mean woman-hating queers.”

They’re laughing at you, and your blood begins to boil. “Oh man, it’s so sexist that I bought a house just for you!” Hizashi’s still laughing, but the edge in his voice conveys a much darker emotion, something you suspect he’s been suppressing this entire time, and you feel unsafe as he abruptly rises from his seat, you doing the same. “Real chauvinistic that I got a place with way more space than we even need just so you,” His finger jabs harshly into your sternum. “can have plenty of rooms to jam out in or fill up with your own lil hobbies! I’m just a real PIECE OF SHIT FOR WANTING TO GET THE BEST FOR YOU!!!”

His voice raises so suddenly, so harshly, so loudly that you flinch, and even Shouta has a look of concern as Yamada forces himself to keep smiling. “I cook for you, I clean for you, I buy you lil dresses I think you’d look cute in, cute clothes that you never even bother to just try on, by the way! Never once have I ever, EVER gotten so much as a ‘thank-you’!!”

You’re actually scared of him right now. “I-I never asked you t—”

“YOU DIDN’T HAVE TO!!” Hizashi yells. “BECAUSE THAT’S WHAT LOVE FUCKING IS, NOT THAT YOU APPRECIATE IT!!”

Loud, angry, danger; your mind flares at you in warning and you can’t stop yourself from crying. You just want him to stop screaming at you. “I’m sorry…. I’m sorry…!!”

“Oh, so NOW you’re sorry!!” You’re just holding yourself as he seems to tower endlessly over you. “If you’re so sorry, then why don’t you ever try to open us to us?! Why do we always gotta pry shit out of you?! Why can’t you even tell us about something as little as some dream that has you waking up screaming and crying your eyes out?!”

There; he just hit the wrong fucking nerve. “You want to know?! You really want to know?!” Now it’s your turn to get loud and angry and up in his face. “I had a nightmare that the two of you were forcing me to get MARRIED! We were all getting MARRIED, and I was PREGNANT, and the thought of it made me so fucking DISGUSTED AND TERRIFIED that it made me start throwing up!!”

They’re stunned, what color had been brought to their faces in anger or laughter draining away to leave them looking empty, sad—no, devastated. “Yeah,” You begin, wiping your tears on a sleeve, starting to back up for the stairs. “not so fucking funny now, is it?”

Neither of them can find the strength to move as you stomp up the stairs and back to your room, slamming the door as hard as you can.

It’s satisfying, in a fucked-up way.

#yandere x reader #yandere bnha #yandere mha #yandere boku no hero academia #yandere my hero academia #yandere stuff #sinprompts #can you tell i have fun writing drama and snappy one liners and reader feeling vindicated #my stuff

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peachcitt · 3 years

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okay, so style reference you say? I'm 👀

YES STYLE REFERENCE I SAY

this is going to be. a very long post i think with probably a lot of tangents and probably with a lot more thorough explanation than you could ever want but. here we go

because all of my theory/explanation posts end up So Long, i like to organize myself by keeping myself to a structure, and i also like to think if i put stuff in sub categories with bolded titles, people reading can skip ahead to the stuff they want if they're low on time or don't feel like slogging through everything. so here's the structure of the official Peach Style Reference Narrative

1. Early Days - how i started writing, my early inspirations, origins

2. Current Days - discussions of current style references plus examples and comparisons, discussions of original content versus fan content

3. Future Days - where i expect my writing to grow, trajectories i want, conclusory thoughts

without further ado, let's get into it!

1. Early Days

like i mentioned on the discord server, ive been writing creatively for. a very long time. i just turned 20 (like. literally today. we love to see it) and that seems very young, but i remember writing creatively when i was maybe six or seven, and before that i played with dolls a lot, which meant every day i was creating little narratives for myself. in addition to this - and this is probably why i started writing so young - i was (and am!) a very avid reader. i was that little jerk in elementary school reading chapter books and going into the older kids' section in the school library because i'd already mentally surpassed the books in the section meant for kids my age. so, basically, ive been writing for maybe 13 or 14 years at the least.

when i was young, my favorite books that i remember trying to copy in my own stories were: the magic treehouse books, harry potter, and percy jackson.

the magic treehouse

i honestly could not tell you which magic treehouse book it was, but i remember reading a specific magic treehouse book where the magic lady that left the treehouse for the kids sends the kids (jack and annie??) a note in distress, and she didn't get to finish signing her name because whoever had gotten her had interrupted her. it had been printed in the book with the ink on her name running.

i could not tell you anything else that happened in that book, but i can tell you that at some point in time soon after i read that book i started writing a story with an interrupted letter just like that. i loved the drama, the mystery of it all. i wanted to do something that was a little scary like that, a little exciting.

harry potter

harry potter isn't much of a style reference, but it was a huge impact of my childhood. truth be told i kind of hated the books when i was really young because i grew up watching the movies, and when i tried to read the books when i was in elementary school, the teenage angst that hits about book 5 simply Did Not make sense to me. i also find the language of harry potter to be super cumbersome, and sometimes it feels to me like the books are long just for the sake of being long. they have a huge cultural impact, but i feel the same way about harry potter's style as i do about dickens. cool and interesting, but, like, could you get to the point already? (and also my opinion of j.k. rowling has steadily been growing worse and worse over the years, for obvious reasons. harry potter is nostalgic for me, but i can't look at it now without thinking about it critically, which really lowers my opinion of it)

however, you could probably call my first fanfiction a harry potter fanfiction. i started it when i was maybe six or seven, and it was a rewrite of the chamber of secrets with my childhood best friend as the main character (she didn't know about it, i just had her as the main character because i thought she was cool). i of course never finished it, but harry potter probably did a huge part of planting that seed of magic in me. everything i want to write included some form of magic - although my perspective on what can be considered magic has steadily expanded over the years.

percy jackson

of all my childhood "style references" that still influence me to this day, percy jackson has got to be the biggest. for starters, it's magic. second, it's main themes are about friendship and family - things that i like all my stories now to always include. third - and most important - is the narrative voice.

in terms of narrative voice, percy has a huge personality. he's witty and snarky, but also very thoughtful and poignant. a lot of my early writing was in first person, and it's probably because of percy. also, percy jackson was the first fandom i really got into, and it was the first media that i started officially writing and posting fanfiction for. percy's voice is so clear and hooking, and i wanted to be able to write something funny and real like that.

also - chapter titles. the original pjo series is famous for its weird and hilarious chapter titles, and even though i didn't really start writing fics or stories that were long enough to need chapter titles until a while later, i loved the idea of putting in a chapter title that would make a reader laugh, or maybe even make a reader feel a little apprehensive about the events to come.

but back to percy's narrative voice. i loved that style, almost conversational, so much that i started thinking like it. when i wasn't doing anything, like walking home in middle school, i often found myself narrating my life in my head like percy would, trying to find that humor and spark in my every day surroundings. i still find myself doing that very often, but not necessarily in the classic pjo style. now i narrate everything in my head a little differently, but that practice narration in my early days really helped my shape my voice, i think.

other series i read when i was younger include: a a series of unfortunate events and the name of this book is secret. i don't remember seeing a lot of influence in my early writing from those books, but i definitely think the styles of those books hit me a little later, which i will talk about in the next section.

but, yeah. these were the big three of my childhood. i also read a lot of ya romance, children's mystery books, princess stories, and various types of fantasy, which i think you could probably tell from the genres i like to stick to now. except i don't write a ton of mystery because, as much as i admire the complicated plots, im not sure if i'd have the patience to plan all that out.

in terms of the rest of the genres, a ton of my earlier writing included classic ya romance and fantasy tropes - chosen girl, love triangles, angsty overpowered teens, etc etc. even though those kinds of stories are not necessarily the kinds of stories i want to write or read now, i think my early writing of those kinds of things was really valuable. it's kind of a dirty secret with finished or unfinished works generally considered 'cringe' - often that writer is a new writer, or they're trying something new, or they just haven't found their voice yet. all of those things are perfectly okay and normal, and a lot of people in the writing community preach that kind of thing, but i don't necessarily see people cutting new writers slack in actual practice. writing "overrused" tropes isn't cringe, it's normal, and, besides, what trope isn't overrused? people have been writing and telling stories for thousands of years - nothing is really new. what matter is that someone new is telling the story, and that's what makes it valuable.

so, yeah, a lot of my childhood writing is cringe to me now, but i wouldn't be where i am without it.

with that being said, let's actually look at where i am now

2. Current Days

im going to break this section down into two parts, sort of: original fiction and fanfiction. because i think both of these things have become really important to me, and i don't believe i personally could exist as a writer without one or the other. it's a symbiotic relationship.

we'll start with fanfiction.

my relationship with fanfiction is relatively positive in online spaces: i write what i want to see from media that i like, and i have fun doing it. i also get some comments on my fics by lovely people that detail exactly what they like - some even go so far to talk about narrative style, voice, or tone - and that's really helpful. generally, i see fanfiction not only as a fun hobby and vent space for my strong positive feelings about certain media, but also as a place for me to try new things, experiment, and earn positive feedback.

i don't often share my original fiction online (and if i do, never at the same scope as my fanfiction), so i don't get that same opportunity to see what "works" with readers. fanfiction gives me the space to see that, and i apply new knowledge ive learned to my original fiction. that's what i mean by a symbiotic relationship.

in terms of specific style references for specific fics (which is what i know you probably most want to see), i'll try my best to pick them all out and give specific examples.

those benevolent stars and i am the messenger by markus zusak

in my favorite book list, i saw you mention tbs, so i'll start there. to be honest, i had no idea what my style reference for tbs was when i first saw your tags, and i almost didn't think there was anything specific. style references are a bit sneaky like that - if you've been referencing for someone for a long time, it becomes less of an intentional reference and more of just a you think, so it gets harder to tell.

lucky for this post, i just finished doing my yearly reread of zusak's i am the messenger, and as i was reading, i noticed a few spots where i was like wait hey i remember doing that.

for starters, iatm has been my favorite book for about six or seven years now, so i would say that some aspects of my style certainly comes from zusak because of how much i love iatm but also his other books. zusak has this huge talent for writing short, punchy sentences that convey so much in just a few words, and i think i've ended up trying to do that in my own writing. often, in my writing you'll see fragmentary sentences such as "He stopped. Blinked. Looked at her." that's not from anything specific, but i know ive written something like that maybe a million times over. zusak doesn't do the same thing - often his fragments are jam-packed with imagery in a way that mine aren't - but there's a thoughtfulness in his fragments that are in mine, too. a sort of pause. a hint that there's thinking happening in the narrator or a certain character. for example, i did a quick flip through of my copy and we have:

"We stare across the table.

Just briefly.

At each other." (I am the Messenger, p.144)

so you see how my common sentence fragment of "he stopped / blinked / looked at her" tracks with a fragment like this? i like the way zusak broke up sentences to make you dwell on them a little longer, consider the importance of each section, so i started doing that wayy before i wrote tbs i think.

also, at the time i wrote tbs, i think i was in the process of, or had just finished doing my reread of iatm, and, like i said, zusak loves imagery. tbs is a very imagery-heavy fic. tbs was influenced by a lot of music - a lot of the scenes have very specific pieces of music that i wrote imagining the tone and vibe of. iatm also references a lot of outside media sources, mostly music and films.

there are a couple of scenes in tbs that i think i wrote specifically mimicking or accidentally referencing from iatm. for example, we have this scene in tbs:

"It was almost like he could feel Marinette’s eyes on his back, steady and gentle. 'But you still love her.”

'Yeah,' Adrien said quietly, 'I still love her.' His eyes moved along a streak of purple that bled into a dark blue. 'I hate her a little bit, too.'

Marinette was silent.

He turned around, giving her a smile." (Those Benevolent Stars, chapter 3)

and this scene from iatm:

"'Do you hate me, Ed?'

Still stupid with bubbles and vodka in my stomach, I answer. Very seriously.

'Yes,' I whisper. 'I do.'

We both smack the sudden silence with laughter." (I am the Messenger, p. 233)

obviously there are differences, and i don't think i did it on purpose, but the interaction is very similar. i love the gentle intimacy of that scene in iatm, that weird complication relationship between the main character and the person he loves, the hurt, the brushing it off with laughter. so i wrote a scene that incorporated those things

zusak is also really good at writing moments of quiet into his books that aren't necessarily important to the plot, but are still important. if you've ever read that ghibli meta post talking about the 'quiet' between scenes in studio ghibli scenes, meant to give both the audience and the characters space to breath, it's like that. nothing in iatm is not imporant - it all serves a purpose, even the quiet moments, and i try to do the same thing. there's moments like that in tbs i think, like:

"Marinette gave him a small smile before turning back to her ice cream. Adrien tried to eat his ice cream a little faster, licking up where it had dripped onto his hand.

They were quiet for a while longer, and Marinette finished her ice cream. She leaned back on her hands and looked up at the dark sky, littered with stars.

He could see them all in her eyes, too." (Those Benevolent Stars, chapter 3)

and in iatm, you get scenes like:

"Our feet dangle.

I watch them, and I watch the jeans on Audrey's legs.

We only sit there now.

Audrey and me." (I am the Messenger, p.120)

so i definitely think tbs is a very i-am-the-messenger/markuz zusak-inspired fic. there's a lot of zusak's quiet, and there's the pieces of zusak's style that i've picked up along the way that really shine in tbs

tomorrow and this body's not big enough for the both of us by edgar cantero

ive talked about cantero a few times recently, but, as you've probably noticed, in relation to my fic called 'tomorrow.' i wrote tomorrow pretty soon after reading this body's not big enough for the both of us, and i used tomorrow specifically to experiment with cantero's visual writing style. in all the books by cantero ive read, there's this kind of hyper-awareness of a film gaze - how a certain scene would be shot on a camera, dialogue as script writing, and other things like that mixed with prose. i thought it was fascinating, and after finishing this body, i really wanted to play around with that idea. so i wrote tomorrow keeping in mind a "film gaze." for example:

"Two figures sitting on a rooftop, silhouettes. The moon hovers over them carefully, a crescent afraid to break the silence. One of the figures takes a breath, looks up into the sky at the hesitant moon, and he sighs. He closes his mouth again." (tomorrow)

versus in cantero's work, where we get descriptions like:

"And then, like a high-heeled coup de grace, she arrived.

She paused briefly outside the door, her hourglass silhouette cast upon the glass panel with the fresh shiny vinyl letters" (This Body's Not Big Enough for the Both of Us, prologue)

the tone of the two excerpts are very different, but there's a very visual sense to both of them, like they are being described from a shot in a movie rather than a regular work in prose. in tomorrow i also work a lot with specific camera imagery - saying where the camera goes in the scene, what it focuses on - and this body doesn't do this too much, but cantero's meddling kids does at least once that i remember.

regardless, after finishing this body, i wanted to try my hand at the visual structure that cantero uses in his works, so i really leaned in to the idea.

chat noir's white french man hit list for feminist purposes and grasshopper jungle by andrew smith

this is, as of right now, the most recent fic on my ao3, and i started it the literal day i finished grasshopper jungle. i think you might be getting a theme here - i read a really good book, and then immediately after i start writing something. the easiest way to get inspired as a writer is to read.

chat noir's hit list is a fic that is very much aware of the fact that it is a story being told - you don't know by who or for what real reason until the end, but it's a self aware sort of story. it's also very snarky and sarcastic, and it expands past just the confines of its own story; it's about chat noir and his hit list, but it also talks in depth about emilie agreste, chat noir's relationship with ladybug, and his relationship with himself. this is very much the kind of thing that you would find in an andrew smith book - grasshopper jungle is a story being told to you, and it's also about more than just the original pieces of the plot. the narrator tells the story that expands past regular confines of the story he means to tell - he's telling the 'history' of his life and his town, but he also talks about his great-great grandfather, the origins of the ketchup his girlfriend's dad eats, and what's happening in other parts of the country as he and his best friend are hanging out. the line in chat's hit list of "stars exploded, the sun did not, life continued on" was very much a grasshopper jungle and andrew smith-inspired line.

at the end of adrien's narration in chat's hit list, he says:

"It should be mentioned at this point in time that this story is not over, although I’ll stop telling it here.

So that’s the story of Chat Noir, who is also Adrien Agreste, who was very much a normal boy, except for the fact that he wasn’t. It’s a sad story, but it is also a happy story, and it is highly confidential. I’m sure you understand." (Chat Noir's White French Man Hit List for Feminist Purposes)

and at the end of grasshopper jungle, as the main character is closing out his narration, we get:

What I have written here is not the history of Eden. It is the history of the end of the world. All real histories will be about everything, and they will stretch to the end of the world.

The end of the world started when Andrej Szczerba slid into the cold sea as his boy, Krys, watched and wept and drifted closer and closer to the United States of America.

Nobody knew anything about it." (Grasshopper Jungle, p.382-3)

It's not overtly similar, but the structure is the same: recognition of the end, short summary of where we started and left the story, tag phrase that was used prior in the work. when i was writing the end of adrien's narration, i didn't mean to mirror grasshopper jungle so closely, but sometimes things just happen that way - honestly, so many of the things i do in my writing aren't intentional, they're subconscious. when i make a conscious choice, it's related to plot or to a new strategy im applying to style or voice that i'm not used to, but a lot of the things i do fly under the radar in my brain unless im purposefully trying to piece them apart like i am here.

i will say the meta-story of chat's hit list was pretty directly inspired by grasshopper jungle because i love meta stories, and i like using opportunities to put them in. i just love the idea of reading a story of someone telling someone else a story, which is what the two books by andrew smith i've read have been, and i think that's just fascinating, which is why i used it here.

ive gotten a couple of comments on chat's hit list that liken the narrative style to pseudonymous bosch's the name of this book is secret and lemony snicket's a series of unfortunate events, which i thought was really interesting, because i was purposefully trying to make the voice an impression of andrew smith's voice adapted to the tone of ml, but i could definitely see their reasoning.

andrew smith, like i mentioned before, likes specifics - what exactly people were doing at certain times, where a specific bottle of ketchup came from, etc. from what i remember of the name of this book is secret and a series of unfortunate events, i remember the descriptions included in those books chock full of highly specific, snarky details that aren't truly necessary, but do a whole lot in terms of adding a certain flavor to the narration. i won't try and look up examples from unfortunate events and the name of this book, but here are a couple examples:

"See, the thing about Emilie Agreste, formerly Emilie Graham De Vanily, is that she was what could be generously called a ‘radical.’ Born in 1969, like most amazing and world-altering things, Emilie Graham De Vanily grew up in London alongside her twin sister, who is a nice enough woman and who is not really that important to this story, and she was raised with the firm and gentle hands of people who had witnessed war and cruelty and had found that they did not like at all. Emilie Graham De Vanily grew up learning about the true history of England, which is not a very nice history, truly, and she grew up knowing that people with white skin like her were historically not all that great. That, historically, was a very radical thought." (Chat Noir's White French Man Hit List for Feminist Purposes)

from chat's hit list, and this:

"In 1905, being seventeen years old made you a man. In 1969 when hungry Jack fought in Vietnam, seventeen years old was a man. My brother, Eric, who was somewhere in Afghanistan, was twenty-two.

Krzys Szczerba came across the Atlantic with his father. They planned on working and earning enough money so Krzys's mother, brother, and two sisters could come to the United States, too. People who did that were called Bread Polacks. They came here to make money." (Grasshopper Jungle, p. 68)

from grasshopper jungle. once again, obviously very different, but you can tell im playing around with that same feeling of giving a surplus of facts in my narration in the same way that andrew smith does. you can't really tell in the grasshopper jungle excerpt, but oftentimes the surplus of 'facts' serves almost a comedic effect, which is definitely something that you can feel in chat noir's hit list.

[REDACTED] and six of crows by leigh bardugo

as a reward for sticking around through this, i'll give out something fun here. the current long fic that ive been working on recently has proved to be very bardugo-inspired, particularly six of crows-inspired.

in six of crows, bardugo gives us action right off the bat and then integrates flashbacks into lulls of action so that there's never truly a dull moment. i found [REDACTED] to be a fic where i wanted to use flashbacks in a similar way, so that i would get something like:

"She doesn’t stay for the whole parade, but she stays for enough of it. Nothing unusual happens, just like always, but she still makes cursory patrols around the city, ending up at the Eiffel Tower, just like always. She sits on the railing way up at the top, and she crosses her ankles, swinging her legs back and forth and humming softly to herself as she watches the sun set.

'Little kitty on the roof, all alone without his lady,' he used to sing when he’d gotten back to their meeting point from patrolling his half of the city before her. It was just a silly little song, one that he’d clearly made up for himself."

It didn’t hurt until he’d been akumatized, and she’d seen that one version of the future - the one where he’d destroyed the whole world because of Gabriel Agreste. She’d seen him then, a lonely figure in white, humming his little song to himself. Who knows how long he’d been like that before she’d been transported to him, how long he’d been really and truly alone. (REDACTED, chapter 1)

and in comparison, we get a lot of scenes in six of crows like:

"Kaz leaned against the ship's railing. He wished he hadn't said anything about his brother. Even those few words raised the memories, clamoring for attention. What had he said to Geels at the Exchange? I'm the kind of bastard they only manufacture in the Barrel. One more lie, one more piece of the myth he'd built for himself.

After their father died, crushed beneath a plow with his insides strewn across a field like a trail of damp red blossoms, Jordie had sold the farm. Not for much." (Six of Crows, p.205-6)

bardugo uses most of the flashbacks during a time in which the main characters are on a long sea voyage, which means they have a lot of time to reflect on their pasts and what brought them to these situations - it's a smart way to fill the empty space of the sea voyage and to really dwell on how important the voyage is. in a similar way, i chose to use the flashbacks in dull or lulling moments in the events of the story, ones in which marinette lets her mind wander or sees something that makes her remember something specific.

however, here's a situation where you can see me adapt the style into something that makes more sense for me, personally: in my excerpt, the tense changes between the current events and the flashback events, while in bardugo's excerpt, the tense stays the same at a comfortable past tense. when i was writing my fic with the flashbacks, i thought the constant, sometimes abrupt, switching would get confusing, so i made sure to always have a clear line using the past and present tense that readers could consciously or unconsciously take notice of.

so there are a couple of instances within some fairly recent fics i have that have specific callbacks to specific books. there are a whole bunch more, i think, but these are the ones that ive played around with intentionally the most recently or the most often.

3. Future Days

based on my recent rapid experimentation in fics (the most recent four fics on my ao3 have been very experimental in comparison to most of my works), i really anticipate a lot of growth in my overall style. ive been having a lot of fun experimenting and throwing in things that a few years ago i would've never even thought of, so im really excited to see where that might lead me, style wise.

i think as a writer there's always room for growth and learning, and that kind of growth and learning comes from not only practicing writing, but also reading. i cannot stress enough how valuable and impactful reading is on writing. considering ive been trying to read a lot more than i have been in recent years, it makes a lot of sense that ive been making a lot of weird decisions and learning more about what i want to see in my own writing.

honestly, if you ever want to know about any of my other fics, or you want to see how this kind of thing translates to my original works, just shoot me an ask! this post is already long enough, so i think i'll go ahead and end it here, but just know you can always ask questions<3

thank you so much for asking me this question and letting me indulge, and thank you for reading!!!<3<3<3<3

#ask #miabrown007 #writing #writing meta #writing style #writing style reference #my writing meta #this took. actually i will not say how long this took because i do not want to hurt myself that way #just know that this took a while. did it need to? fucking no absolutely not you didn't ask for something this long i did this to myself #this is why i didn't answer this for a couple days btw i wanted to take time to actually sit down and write down a thorough post like this #for you and i didn't have the time when you first sent it #technically i should not have had the time today but that sort of thing doesn't count in the middle of the night #happy birthday to me im giving myself a super long meta post where i info dump about some of my favorite things #also you did not. you did not ask for writing or life advice and yet i also gave that. im sorry it just happens i don't know how to stop #im so tired. i have class tomorrow (today) my cat's being a little piece of shit. we love to see it #thanks so much for asking this and i seriously mean it when i say you can ask any time #i obviously didn't go over the majority of my fics and most of this was done off of memory alone #(in terms of my own fics. the books i had to flip through to find the quotes i wanted)#so if you have any more questions about a specific fic don't hesitate to ask!! that goes for everyone btw #anyway now i have to pay attention to my cat and then go to sleep goodnight love y'all

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dreamypope · 4 years

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The Magic of Sunny Days

My personal headcanon about how Pope met and became friends with JJ. The first part of a 3 part series called How Pope Met The Pogues.

A/n: this is my first time ever sharing an obx writing, so all feedback will be more than welcomed! kind of anxious to share but I hope you'll enjoy it!

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It was a sunny late September day. The air already had that familiar hint of arriving fall in it, but it was still warm and pleasant enough to enjoy being outdoors in a T-shirt. That's why Pope had decided to take his book with him and go read on the school yard's bench instead of staying in the classroom for the break.

Not something an average 4th grader would do with his spare 30 minutes between sitting still and studying in a hot and too cramped room. But Pope wasn't that average 4th grader, though. Mama Heyward regularly joked about how Pope didn't need friends because his books kept him company. And in a way it was true. Books always had something to say, even when real people didn't. Or well, when Pope didn't have anything to tell real people to start up a conversation. Besides, all the most exciting adventures happened in stories rather than real life.

And so Pope preferred reading instead of running around with his classmates. Today they were playing soccer, loudly cheering each other and yelling, which made it difficult for Pope to concentrate on the book. He found himself constantly rereading the lines and forgetting what the characters had been talking about just a few pages ago. Just when he was about to give up and sneak back inside despite the sunshine, Pope noticed a boy making his way towards the bench he was sitting on. Wait, was the boy making his way towards him?

Pope quickly reopened his book again, hoping that kid would find someplace else to go. He was wrong, though, because apparently the other didn't care about the fact that Pope was actively engaged in an activity which didn't include random strangers offering him their company.

He kept walking and walking and then he was there. Do not panic.

"Hey, what are you doing?" the kid asked, standing in front of Pope now and blocking the sun, his blond hair falling on his eyes slightly.

Don't you see, I am reading. Or at least trying to read! Pope wanted to say but then realized he probably shouldn't be rude to someone who simply wanted to chat. His parents would be proud of him for having a conversation, right?

"Reading," he said instead and glanced up towards the kid. "It's The Adventures of Tom Sawyer."

The boy nodded slightly. "Cool, what's it about?"

And before Pope could even answer, he had sat down next to him, knee bouncing and eyes curiously following the other kids playing farther away. It felt like his body was present but mind away somewhere else completely.

Pope found it kind of funny that this boy had so many questions but somehow seemed to lack the patience to hear his actual replies. He explained anyway because focusing on reading seemed like an impossible task for now.

"There's this boy Tom who gets in all sorts of strange situations," Pope started.

The blond still had his gaze glued to the ongoing soccer match in front of them.

"He and his best friend Huck just witnessed a murder at a graveyard," Pope decided to add, because wasn't it just so exciting.

This statement earned a grin from the other boy. With his blue eyes sparkling, he faced Pope and exclaimed: "Oh woah, how cool is that!"

Pope felt a victorious smile tugging at his lips. The kid was genuinely interested in something he had said, his whole face lighting up in amusement.

"Yeah," Pope agreed and nodded eagerly.

Soon the blond boy's attention shifted back to the game and instead of resuming reading, Pope watched with him. All these kids having fun with each other, maybe I could like that.

Suddenly his companion jumped up and cheered triumphantly: "Look, Charlie scored a goaaaal!"

For a second, Pope took in the sight of all the boys rushing towards the kid, who was most likely Charlie, congratulating him. And then he stood, too, high fiving the blond and grinning.

"I'm JJ," he said then with a smile.

Pope's face was beaming.

"I'm Pope." Did he just become friends with someone?

------

Over the next few weeks, Pope and JJ spent every break sitting on that same bench. Some days JJ would sit quietly and let Pope read but mostly they just chatted. JJ always knew about the coolest of things, like how Peter, a boy from 5th grade had a pet lizard named Robbie and how Becca, a girl from their grade once ate so many green apples she got sick and had to stay home for 3 days. And Pope listened, amused smile never leaving his face.

Quite honestly, he actually liked JJ's company. Maybe for once a person could be a greater friend than his books. His first real friend.

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And the people who wanted to be tagged (thanks for that btw!): @kiesargent @loveop5500 @pope-obx @thistreasurehunter @bipopeheyward @backintheggamebaby @playitaagain @gushes @delightfullynlove @popeheywrd @midsommers know if you want to be added to/removed from the tag list!

#next up: we'll be introducing john b #mayward #mayward fic #jjpope #jjpope fic #pope heyward #pope obx #jj maybank #jj obx #obx fic #obx as kids #obx #pls don't bully me incase there happens to be any grammatical errors bc english isn't my first language #kinda anxious kinda excited #oh also look it took me 10 hours to post this thanks tumblr #ok but tom sawyer is THE book it was one of my favs when i was little and i recently read it again hah #annoying jj #bookworm pope #it was so adorable imagining the tiny versions of them

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dear-yandere · 3 years

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—ask collection!

a collection of mostly very old chats and sweet asks that i never got around to answering! thanks for the patience and love!!

beware, fairly long post... woops....

chat asks.

darling: Eu-jin is best boy. Change my mind.

vanya: i am physically incapable of fulfilling that request, how dare you do that to me... i’m biased since he’s my own oc, but i would die for my (very best) boy eu-jin... who can resist such a gentle yandere that loves you so whole-heartedly?

that reminds me! he’s actually based off of kuroyuki and gekkamaru from the otome nightshade, so if you want similar characters by any chance, do check them and the game out ♡

darling: I was watching the dub for Part 5 of JoJo's Bizarre adventure yesterday...Mista called himself Daddy and I like- sdfghjfgsdhnhnmj!! My heart can't take this--

vanya: WAIT HE DID???? i’m not even big on daddy kink and reading that made me go 😳 this is vital information to know... what episode was this??? for research purposes, of course. gotta perfect my yan! mista, after all~...

darling: for yandere songs, have you heard of the major to minor covers by chase holfelder :O? the way he delivers the lyrics in some songs (betty, all i want for christmas), added with the key changes to minor, is really fantastic, and gives a stalker-ish vibe imo! and he's a really good singer in general

vanya: i have!! a good chunk of them are actually on my personal yandere playlist, so i end up hearing them frequently when i’m writing!! i haven’t been keeping up with his uploads recently, so ‘betty’ is completely new to me and just, wow???????????? this man is an absolute god send for us “romantic” horror fans... ♡

this ask gave me such a lovely idea, though, darling: assigning yandere types/mbti based off each of chase’s minor key covers. i think i’ll do that just for you. ♡

darling @blossomiich: I reread some of your old character interaction asks and saw the one with Jotaro hugging his Darling after a panic attack and the elephant seal plush reminded me of the iconic C H O N K Y ringed seal plushie that was kinda trending and I can totally imagine Jotaro having one of those >w< that's so adorable!

vanya: i honestly don’t remember that interaction, but then again i don’t remember most things hmghng so i looked it up and

j...just imagine star plat hogging it and not letting joot cuddle with it 🥺 the duality of man...thank you for this cute image...

darling: Umm, sorry for asking this. I'm just curious because of your bio language in your header. Are you Chinese too, perhaps?

vanya: no worries!! i’m mixed guyanese (indian, chinese, & possibly black and/or portuguese), but my family only celebrates (or rather, acknowledges?) our indian descent, since the majority of our family is predominantly east indian.

my header is actually a quote from a danmei novel (and one of my all-time favorite fandoms), tiān guān cì fú (heaven’s official blessing)!

darling genki stan anon: Omg you're writing for free now, i didn't expect that one lol. It's a cute show innit? Not a nagi stan but I feel like nagisa has that kinda unsnapped personality that would make him peak delusional yandere material lolol like oikawa but less threatening and without his head being up his own ass 😂. Hope you're doing well!! -gsa

Gdjsjs im such a fool, i think my last ask said something about not thinking you'd write for free when i literally just pointed out kisumi on your sideblog LMAO my bad 😅 😂 also ill hold back on the gen chan requests because ive already asked so many in the past! Thank you though 🥺. Also feel free not to post this, it can just dip into my onesided chats with my lil flower 💐 so long as you receive them im fine 😌 -genki stan anon

vanya: nagisa isn’t my favorite (kisumi is), but gods if he wouldn’t make a great yandere. honestly, out of the iwatobi boys, nagi is probably the most unhinged. i wouldn’t peg him as delusional, at least not at first; i think he’s very lucid and knows exactly what he wants and how to manipulate people in order to get it!!! kisumi is fairly similar now that i think about it... i might... have a type...

please feel free to send in gen-chan requests whenever you want!!!! i’m kinda super asocial, so it’ll take me a while to answer, but i love getting asks from you since you’re so sweet and excitable!!! your little flower reads and cherishes them all!! 🥺

also darling genki stan anon: Sorry for spamming you with asks hdjkdks, u dont even need to reply im just kinda brain empty venting here whether you recieve them or not 😂 i just needed to confess that while yes i am #1 gen simp, and he is undoubtedly my fave oc of yours but that Ilya tentacle smut had me very much so highkey kinda 👀, had to re read the genki oral style drabble to bring my head back. He dont even need to worry about luca bc that man a thot. I think therin is a thot too but like lowkey, a classy thót -gsa

vanya: omg i’ve kept this one for forever mnmghngh i might’ve even answered at some other point, now that i think about it... but i just 🥺 gosh i hope i find my muse soon, because i really wanna write you a genki fic 🥺 hhhh

the ilya tentacle smut was so in character for that boy... i have no clue how to write monsters, much less tentacles, but i’d honestly do anything for him 🙏 kinky russian boy...

therin is definitely a classy thot, the kind that only bangs the finest concubines then turns around and slut shames you for banging the very same prostitutes gbfmngnfg rules don’t apply to him, in his kingdom...wish that were me tbh ✊😔

sweet asks.

darling one: i've read almost all of your dazai and chuuya fics and i love them so much!! your formatting is also super aesthetic just a question, i saw on your kofi that you also draw so i was wondering if you drew all the header arts?? bc they're all super pretty :) have a great day!

darling two: Just wanted to say love the writing and the way your format your posts is so aesthetically pleasing. One day I hope my posts looks half as good as yours because I legit can't get over how pretty and organized it looks.

vanya: omg thank you so much!!!! one of my bffs, yue, is to thank for the formatting and aesthetic choices, really! if you wanna see more of her aesthetic formats and posts, she actually runs a few blogs! you may know her as @milkscafe, formally @milkaaton! i adore her and her aes choices so much 🥺

as for the headers, i don’t draw 99.98% of them! i have drawn a couple, but they’re so few and far in between since i almost never finish my art wips haha... my older posts are lacking proper credits because i’m an absolute idiot, but i’m slowly working my way backwards to credit them all where possible! they’re all indeed super pretty!!!

have a great day yourself, my love!!

darling: THEY’RE NOT BAD CONTENT, I LOVE THEM ALL

vanya: this was in response to a now-deleted lil blurb but i kept it in my inbox because i wanted to say i love u very much and seeing this ask each time i open my inbox makes my heart skip a beat ♡

darling: Listen I love your writing, you inspired me to start it myself! I've always loved to write, and read of course but your style and concepts just stick with me. If you where to write something besides Yandere content/fandom content and started your own series? I would read the shit, out of it. I'm always nervous to interact with my favorite writers because you know, I'm afraid of the impression I'd leave but I just wanted to say this anyway! 💞💞💞🔫😳

vanya: wowowow fgfnmgnfmngfg that’s such a high compliment my brain just gmfnbgmnf go boom fogjfngnfg and thank you for the interaction, us writers truly appreciate it no matter how awkward or nervous you think you may be / come off!!!

darling one: As a writer, your post struck a nerve with me. I don’t send feedback to writers I like nearly as much as I should (and certainly not as much as I’d like in return as a writer). So, as such, I’m going to start doing that when I can, starting with you.

You are an incredible writer. You were one of the first yandere writing blogs I found and you’re still one I check in on regularly to see what you have been working on. You can portray a sense of suspense and intrigue in a natural way that many other writers - published ones included - struggle with. You delve into the darkness without it feeling forced, and you have an amazing grasp on the psyches of the characters you write for (which is a quality I adore in writing and strive toward myself).

I’m not great at ending these things so I guess.. you keep doing you? Because the you is great and I appreciate it.

darling two: hey. i'm here to tell you that from the bottom of my heart i love you and your writings. i really admire your writing skills. you inspire me. one of your posts once saved me from a nervous breakdown. thank you for everything you do. you're a wonderful person. good luck!

darling three: I wanted to tell you that thank you for writing such wonderful beautiful writings and that you take time to edit and write I hope you are taking care of yourself 💖❤

darling four: Thanks. I was having a hard time and deleted all my apps, but as soon as i opened my phone my first instinct was to look at your blog and i got my motivation back. Thanks (:

darling five: Hi ! I just wanted to say I really enjoy the stories you write and how they are detailed so well ! Stay safe and I hope you have a good day/night ! ლ(╹◡╹ლ)

vanya: ahhhh, these are very old asks mostly dating back to my “tumblr writing community is dying” post, and i’ve kept them this entire time because i’m just so starstruck. i have no clue how to reply to compliments, so i’m not sure what else to say besides that these asks made me very happy and got me through a few insecure moments!!! i’ve actually been feeling a little down about my writing recently, mostly because of lack of motivation / inspiration, so revisiting these really warmed my heart, so thank you truly ♡ i’m certainly keeping the originals in my inbox until the end of time!!

darling @monstrously-obsessed: psst, this local cryptic mom thing send all of their love for you 💕

vanya: your local herbo says she loves you very much momster 🥺 mwah

also, to the anon worried about my safety:

thank you so much for pointing that out!!! it hadn’t even crossed my mind when i made those ocs, so i appreciate your concern! i was contemplating revamping those two as is, so this is a great place to start! thank you again!!

#asks collection #not a fic #vanya rambles #[ vanya LITERALLY rambles ]#[ life's hard when you're this asocial i swear fgmnfgnmfg ]#[ now to answer concept asks ]

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boasamishipper · 4 years

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Which Fics?

I was tagged by @icemankazansky to answer some Qs about my fics - thanks for the tag, Carly! <33

Which of your fics…

…did you think would get a bigger reaction/audience than it got?

probably sometimes you hear the bullet, my kainora / korrasami / bopal mash au. not to say that it didn’t get a big reaction - as of now, it’s got about 3.3k hits on ao3 and more on ffn - but when i was writing it, i expected it to get a bigger audience, if only because i was also writing korrasami, which was and still is the biggest ship in the lok fandom.

…got a better reaction than you expected?

there’s a raging fire in my heart tonight, bar none. i wrote this mainly after co-conceptualizing the idea with @academicgangster, and i didn’t think anyone but her would read or enjoy it. i was very happy to be proven wrong; as of posting date, it’s still the most popular top gun fic i’ve written. honorable mention goes to when i see your face, ‘til all my sleeves are stained red, and Like Attracts Like.

... is your funniest?

‘cause a cat’s the only cat (who knows where it’s at). it’s complete and utter crack about mav and ice raising baby flerkens (set in my top gun captain marvel au series), but i think it’s definitely my all-around funniest fic. the scene where one of the cats coughs up a burglar still makes me giggle every time i think about it.

…is your darkest or angstiest?

either on the red line overload or Talk To Me Of Lightning.

…is your absolute favorite?

...........god this is such a hard question, but i’m going to have to say Lead Me On (To The Other Side), with Word on the Street and The Stars Walk Backward as a very close second and third.

…is your least favorite?

Destination Unknown. i had the right idea when i was writing it, but the execution and the ending felt pretty weak to me in retrospect. i may do a redux sometime.

…was the easiest to write?

Brilliant Beyond Brilliant Idea, my top gun parent trap au. i wrote all sixteen chapters in just under two months, and had a lot of fun while doing it - though looking back, i’d probably change a few things about the fic’s plot so it isn’t so close to the movie. (i still love violet kazansky and joey mitchell with my entire heart.)

…was hardest to write?

the house that built me. this fic fought me kicking and screaming when i was writing, but i’m really happy with how it turned out. if we’re talking about fics that are still in the wip stage, made of stardust and moon, take thy flight are refusing to cooperate with me right now.

…has your favorite lines/exchange/paragraph? (share it!)

Lead Me On (To The Other Side)

“Mav, come on, you need to drink this.”

“Don’t want to.”

“I’m not asking you, Maverick, I’m telling you. Drink the water. Come on, it’ll make you feel better.”

Maverick eyed the water suspiciously, and then his gaze fell on Ice. His forehead creased. “Who’re you?”

“Your guardian fucking angel.” Ice’s patience was firmly at an end. “Now shut up and let me help you.”

…have you reread the most?

Lead Me On (To The Other Side), Word on the Street, out along the edges, and the entire Forged in the Stars trilogy.

…would you recommend to someone reading your work for the first time?

for each fandom: the Beyond trilogy (Top Gun), the Forged in the Stars trilogy (Star Wars), and sometimes you hear the bullet and/or keep a spur handy (The Legend of Korra).

…are you most proud of?

there’s a raging fire in my heart tonight. all the love and effort i poured in (and all the time i spent perusing the mcu wikia pages to ensure maximum accuracy, given endgame was still in theaters at the time) really paid off.

i tag @academicgangster @vegetarianvampireduck @kuno-chan @raayllum @thosefiveadoraburrs and anyone else who sees this and wants to do it. yes, that includes you, i promise. <3

#my fics #personal #thanks for tagging me!#these were a lot of fun to answer :D #chaosmagicwanda

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silverbastardgoldenfool · 4 years

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Realm of the Quarantine Reread End-of-Book Questionnaire: Assassin’s Apprentice

Any differences between your first/previous reading experience and this one?

Uhhhhh yep!! I can’t even believe how different it was. Every scene has taken on an entirely different colour and flavour in my memory. I skimmed far too much the first time, yes, but also I just went into it with the wrong framework. I think I’ve mentioned this before but my mum recommended me these books on the basis of my love of A Song of Ice and Fire. She directly compared them and said how similar they were. Because of RotE’s length I had been putting it off for years, and only finally picked up Assassin’s Apprentice because I was itching to do an ASOIAF reread but was (and am) trying to wait until Winds of Winter to do it.

So you can imagine the difficulty settling into a book like Assassin’s Apprentice when you’re expecting Game of Thrones. I remember my overall impression on my first read being that it was a pretty standard fantasy novel with the only really exceptional thing about it being the characters and their relationships. Characters are always my top priority so it was enough to keep me invested and progressing onto the next book and the rest of the series, but I did so not having absorbed nearly as much as I should have from the first book in the series.

Now, just from revisiting that first book, my understanding of Fitz and the world he operates in has exponentially increased and I know that will transform my experience of every book going forward. I really made sure to make myself slow down and read every word; absorb descriptions and just be in each moment without racing to the next one. Overall this book (and all the Fitz books) are much more concerned with the human condition and the effects of abuse and trauma and deep loneliness than being an epic fantasy. In fact it barely reads like fantasy at all; it’s incredibly grounded and focused. Of course the elements are there, but while Assassin’s Apprentice may not be as subversive as the rest of the series, it is certainly not generic fantasy. This book just feels alive to me now in a way it didn’t before against the rest of the series. I can regard it as a beautiful piece of the puzzle in its own right instead of just the setup. I wanna reiterate I always really liked Assassin’s Apprentice but it just paled in comparison to my unholy obsession with the rest of it. Idk this reread just really shifted a lot of things into perspective for me and I’m excited!!

Something you can’t believe you forgot

So so much but most ridiculous GALEN IS QUEEN DESIRE’S BASTARD am I dumb??? I didn’t even remember until it was explicitly stated lol

Favourite character introduction moments/scenes

It’s gotta be a tie between the Fool, Kettricken and Patience (realising there is a common theme here of Fitz making an idiot of himself). I genuinely was laughing so hard when Fitz is like, actively making himself smaller and so pleased with himself trying to help the Fool, and of course the Fool’s iconic “listen you idiot” ugh it’s just chef’s kiss baby, that’s what we in the biz call a meet-cute! (I know they have seen each other before, but this is the first time the Fool talks to Fitz). Then of course we have Kettricken who poisons Fitz at their first meeting, and Patience who Fitz continuously embarrasses himself in front of before even realising who she is. The fact that all three of these people end up being some of Fitz’s only genuinely loving relationships makes it even better.

Favourite character arcs

I think I’ve gotta go with Verity and Burrich. Verity goes from kind of a bloke’s bloke (he was so different in the beginning than I remembered!) to being a proper King-in-Waiting. He is self-sacrificial but not for pride; he genuinely cares deeply for his people, as a whole and as individuals, and will do anything it takes to protect them. He is far from perfect, and he could have done a lot more for Fitz when he was younger, but once Fitz is in his eyeline and he is confronted with the life the boy has led he seems suitably shamed and tries to do his best for him. He’s a good boy and I love him!

Burrich of course is just. unlucky. His health deteriorates due to injuries. He gets saddled with some kid and is burdened to bring him up to an impossible standard he has set himself (to not shame a man he has an impossibly high opinion of). He’s deprived of a job he loved and was good at, and most importantly he’s deprived of his boyfriend I mean lover I mean “master”.

His arc is not a happy one at all but it is compelling, and I can’t help but love him and feel for him despite also disagreeing with him on almost everything :)

Favourite quote/s

Unfortunately I don’t have any tabs atm so I couldn’t really keep track, but my heart exploded when Fitz said to the Fool after going into his room, “I wish I had a place that were as much me as that place is you.”

Favourite relationships

Fitz/Fool obviously. Even though they don’t have that many interactions in this book I loved every single one of them. The Fool volunteering to care for Smithy after Fitz has endured a long day of horrendous abuse is just!!!!! Kindness! What a concept! I could really see why they develop such a deep bond so quickly.

Fitz/Burrich is just so real and so compelling and it hurts me but I love it. Fitz/Chade breaks my heart bc Chade is manipulating his way into Fitz’s heart - I think without realising it a lot of the time bc he is lonely too, but the power imbalance is not okay when he is the centre of Fitz’s world for a long time and the closest thing he has to a friend. Knowing how Chade behaves not too much later just makes it even worse when he is so nice in this book because it just shows why Fitz has such a hard time being his own person and saying no to Chade ever.

Fitz/Verity for obvious reasons. Fitz/Hands!! They’re cute but it makes me sad that Hands betrays him in AQ. Weirdly I liked Fitz/Molly way more this time but more their friendship than anything. And next is Royal Assassin and their deeply toxic romance soooooo.

And Fitz and his puppies BUT WE DON’T TALK ABOUT THAT.

Favourite setting

Do yourself a favour and read the description of the Mountain Kingdom and specifically the palace. It is STUNNING and something I completely skimmed over the first time cos I’m a dumb idiot bitch I could have been picturing a city of huge colourful tulips all this time but fuck me I guess!!

Favourite chapter

As a rereader I think I’ve gotta say chapter one. There’s just so much to pick apart all crammed into one chapter. It still holds a lot of mystery even when you’ve read the entire series.

Most loved character

At this point I’ve gotta say Fitz. That’s who my heart is with during this book and he NEEDS IT

Most hated character

Okay I found Regal a much better villain on this read and hated him A LOT but whomst I despised even more w the very fibre of my being was Galen bitch disgusting!!!!!! Verity was so like, smug?? when he killed him and it was so satisfying. It’s what she deserves!!

Raise your hand if you’ve been personally victimised by Robin Hobb (most heartbreaking and/or visceral moments)

Literally this whole book was so harsh and I was perpetually emo throughout but off the top of my head, Fitz’s depressive episode after Shrewd and Chade test his loyalty fricking broke me, as did the entirety of Galen’s abuse/training; since I was paying so much more attention this time it hit a lot harder that he is an absolute textbook abuser and the psychological torment he inflicts on Fitz is just. deeply upsetting to say the least. It really got under my skin.

Details, observations, spoilery notes made with the benefit of the full picture

Okay this is where I just dump all the notes I took while reading that don’t fit anywhere else. It’ll be long lol so strap in.

- It’s never not funny to me that Narrator Fitz comes across as like a hundred years old when in actuality he is like twenty. Also that he looks back on himself with such a sense of wisdom and superiority, yet we know there is dumbarsery aplenty to come. Amazing.

- I’ve never really registered that for the first six years of his life Fitz had a mother who loved him and I don’t know how to feel about that

- REVELATION THAT SEEMS REALLY OBVIOUS IN HINDSIGHT: Fitz most likely only spoke Chyurdan when he was abandoned, which would have played a huge role in why he was not only quiet but unresponsive to what was happening around him. He probably didn’t even understand that he wasn’t going to see his mother again until much later, and he didn’t know how to ask questions. When he goes to the Mountain Kingdom and Kettricken comments that he speaks Chyurdan like someone remembering the language he doesn’t comment on it, so it’s likely that future Fitz doesn’t register that he didn’t always speak Six Duchies(?). He mentions in the narration that the memory of being abandoned is incredibly stark but not necessarily reliable, and possibly shaped by the Skill, which to me opens up the possibility that his memory is essentially auto-translating for him things he didn’t understand at the time. We also know that at the time of writing this he’s given up his memories of his mother etc. up to the stone dragon, so obviously his recollections of these traumatic events are going to be warped by that. Anyway thanks to my sister for pointing this out and being much smarter than me.

- According to Fitz’s grandfather, Chivalry always knew about Fitz. Don’t know how trustworthy a man desperate to yeet his grandson out of his care is but there ya go.

- Weird and hilarious that Shrewd tries to see Fitz on the day he arrives but then just like. What? Forgets about him? For years? lol

- Chade literally tells Fitz that he is a king’s man now and that’s the most important thing about him YIKES

- Chade becomes the closest thing Fitz has to a friend for quite a long time and that is fucking depressing

- It’s interesting that Chade had to be convinced to teach Fitz. It’s hinted at that there was an ~incident~ the last time they tried to train someone, followed by a long period of Chade being left to rot in the walls.

- Not to be out here diagnosing fictional characters but like.Fitz. Literally has depression.

- Fitz having to turn down Fedwren’s offer of apprenticing for him is so sad. It’s the life Fitz should have had.

- The Fool’s non-binary gender is mentioned as early as Chapter Nine! (Published in 1995! We have no choice but to stan!)

- “So quickly we were all made accomplices in our own degradation.” OOF.

- I really realised this time that the reason Fitz seems so shit at things he trained his whole life for later is because all that training was interrupted by many months of isolation, deprivation and abuse. All at the age of like 13-14. He got out of the habit of subconsciously acting in a way that Burrich or Chade would approve of. For a long time the only person he needed approval from was Galen, and he became completely single-minded about it because that was his means of survival. And you don’t just recover from that - especially since neither Chade or Burrich would give him the time of day for an extended period *after* his training was done. When Chade did finally talk to him again it wasn’t to recommence training really; he just gave him a bunch of tasks to do. By the time Fitz got to the Mountain Kingdom he was completely out of practice, and still managed pretty bloody well in spite of it.

- Kind of related to the last point: I love that while Fitz isn’t a savant at anything he’s a pretty realistic jack of all trades. He not only has an aptitude for learning almost any skill or subject but a genuine broad curiosity too. It’s one of the few things that is just him, ya know? It’s just his personality and something he can find joy in, even if it does also factor into his being used by others.

- Imagine being Burrich and finding out that your son thought you were a dog murderer for like ten years lol ouch

- Fitz thinks about the Fool soooo often in the Mountain Kingdom, pointing out things that remind him of him, or things he would like. It’s v soft tbh I love them so much!!

- Another dumb thing I forgot is that Regal is convinced that Shrewd had Fitz poison his mother to death, which adds a rather important layer onto his motivations lol

Anyone doing a reread feel free to fill this out! You don’t have to use the tag :)

#rote #realm of the elderlings #realm of the quarantine #robin hobb #this has taken many days to finish bc tumblr has been a bully!!

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riley1cannon · 3 years

Note

3, 4, 13, 22 :)

3. What were your top five books of the year?

Ugh. This is a hard one. There were a of lot books I really enjoyed, but if I have to pick a top five...

The Broken Girls by Simone St. James

I had wondered how St. James would make the transition from her post-World War I ghost stories to modern times. I needn’t have worried. It was seamless.

I Shall Not Want by Julia Spencer-Fleming

This is #6 in Spencer-Fleming’s mystery series set in the small town of Miller’s Kill in upstate New York, and featuring Rev. Clare Ferguson and Chief Russ Van Alstyne. They’re...too gritty to be cozies, too cozy to be thrillers; too good to miss. Oh, and if you like a slow burn romance, you cannot do better than Russ and Clare.

A Spell for Trouble by Esme Addison

Esme Addison is a new-to-me author, but rest assured I eagerly anticipate her follow-up to this book. It’s a cozy mystery with paranormal stuff going on. Here, it’s witchy mermaid stuff, and I will admit that mermaid aspect gave me a pause. Addison sold me on it, though, and I especially enjoyed learning about Warsaw’s Warrior Mermaid.

A Useful Woman by Darcee Wilde

So, I struggle with Regency Romances. The fairy tale fantasy of them can be difficult to buy into. However, throw in a murder or two and I’m good. :) This is the first in a series featuring Rosalind Thorne, making her way as best she can in a world that turns upside down due to an act of betrayal by her father. That the murder here takes place at the fabled Almack’s especially delighted me, with all the Lady Snooty McSnooties put in a dither over the scandal.

Potions Are For Pushovers by Tamara Berry

This is Berry’s follow-up to Seances Are for Suckers, which I also loved. Ellie is a fake medium (or is she?), now plying her trade in England. There’s murder and romance, with the chief question being: is there a werewolf on the prowl? It’s way better than that probably makes it sound.*

4. Did you discover any new authors that you love this year?

I did! Besides Esme Addion and Darcee Wilde up there, A.M. Stuart made a good first impression with Singapore Sapphire, Sabriel has me inclined to try some more by Garth Nix. Assorted mystery writers have me looking forward to their second books (Erica Ruth Neubauer, Anna Gerard, and Elizabeth Logan in particular).

13. What were your least favorite books of the year?

Oh, so many...

Christmas Cow Bells by Mollie Cox Bryson lured me in with its delightful cover, and rewarded me with a too dumb to live heroine.

Murder At the Mill by M.B Shaw also showed me a great cover, teased me with what sounded like a perfect setting for a murder, delivered a truly twisty beginning, but its heroine also tried my patience.

Tuesday Mooney Talks to Ghosts started out well enough, only to plummet off a cliff in the end. I might have been able to put up with Tuesday being a pain in the ass, with assorted this and that, but what sealed its doom and put the author on my list of writers to forever avoid, was the climatic moment when Tuesday is knocked unconscious and when she wakes up in the hospital she (and the reader, who is kicking herself for sticking it out to this bitter, pointless end) is told about what happened when her lights went out.

Solace Island by Meg Tilly (yes, the actress; knock wood, she’s good at that) tries so hard to blend romcom and romantic suspense, and almost, almost succeeds for a moment, but can’t quite get over that wall. The sex is terrible too. So is the one non-white character being brutally murdered just because we have to see how very awful the villain is.

The Lady Traveler’s Guide to Scoundrels and Other Gentlemen had so much potential, and actually kept me engaged with it for several chapters. I might have forgiven its being predictable. I couldn’t get over that the characters are in Paris for the 1889 Exposition and yet never go anywhere. Oh, no, there is a scene at the Eiffel Tower, but it had all the wonder and excitement of a wet sock. Bleah.

There are some more books I hated, but that will do for now.

22. What’s the longest book you read?

I think Sacred by Dennis Lehane & Uprooted by Naomi Novik might be roughly tied at 400+ pages. That’s for new reads. I had a hankering to reread The Thorn Birds, clocking in at almost 700 pages. Kind of wish I hadn’t done that, as it did hold up at all.

Thanks for the asks!

*SPOILER for Potions Are For Pushovers: The cat is fine.

#books #books read in 2020 #foxingfae

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rosalind-of-arden · 4 years

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Sword and Pen Reread, chapter 13 part 2

Or: now I babble about Wolfe more.

A bit of superstition: Wolfe thinks of Orpheus as he’s leaving the Necropolis, and not only does he not look back himself, he makes the kids go ahead of him.

In the prison in Smoke and Iron, Wolfe didn’t recognize Troll right away. Here, he does. A sign of just how out of it he was in prison?

Getting into the carrier, Wolfe feels tired. When did Wolfe last sleep?

“It was the gamble of it he loved, more than anything else: the pure will of those ancients who’d understood that without knowledge, there could be no truth.” This is so Wolfe. He likes defying the odds and he values education. This is why he loves the kids so much: they’re doing the same thing.

“he suddenly wished for peace, for the days and nights he’d spent traveling with Nic on the way to some dire crisis or another” Only Christopher Wolfe would define peace as the travel time between war zone missions.

Things Wolfe likes doing: “days they spent talking, or not talking, making love or just lying together, reading. Playing a nightly game of chess, or Egyptian sennet, or the board games of ancient Ur.” I do appreciate that sex is on the list, not only because I write Wolfe/Santi porn, but also because it’s such a completely normal thing that the text treats as completely normal - media tends so often to get weird about sex where gay couples and parents are concerned, so it’s nice to see this. The whole passage is just so sweet, and I am now craving Wolfe/Santi fluff.

Alexandria isn’t built to handle storms, which Wolfe describes as rare. The streets are flooded, and that’s apparently what always happens in weather like this.

Going into the conference room, Wolfe is already uncomfortable. He can tell something is wrong. And he looks to Santi for comfort, taking a brief moment to appreciate seeing Nic, and then addressing him by his first name even though this is obviously a Curia meeting.

A lot of denial once Wolfe hears what happened. “Santi did not fail.” Not admitting to himself why he would be invited to this meeting. Some part of him knows what they’re about to ask, and he’s fighting it.

“He stared at her. His eyes burned, and for a moment, he thought it was with tears, but no, no, it was anger. He couldn’t speak. Could hardly breathe for the pressure of fury building in his chest.” He’s furious, yes. But also, don’t these sound an awful lot like panic attack symptoms?

Wolfe turns to Nic for support, but Nic won’t look at him. Part of that is Nic being caught up in his own distress, but I suspect there’s also an element of not wanting to interfere. Wolfe and Santi have very recently argued about Wolfe being able to make his own choices, and that gives Nic a very strong motivation to stay out of this so that he doesn’t influence Wolfe’s decision.

Wolfe and Vargas were in the same class. They didn’t like each other. Probably because they’re too much alike - Vargas sounds like the cranky snarky sort, too. What I want to know is how Santi and Vargas got along.

Very satisfying to see Wolfe call the Curia out here. He knows they don’t really want him as Archivist, and he’s not mincing words.

Here’s Wolfe’s first moment of considering and rejecting something he wanted in the past. It’s never stated directly that he wanted to be Archivist, but we’ve had hints that he was ambitious. He imagines himself on the throne, but it’s “disorienting”, “it made him want to laugh, but he knew it would come out as half a sob.” He recognizes how much he’s changed since he was young and ambitious, and he’s also grieving what he’s lost.

“What a sour joke this was, that the same colleagues who’d looked the other way when he was dragged off in the night, when his work was scrubbed from the shelves and his body broken in the cells in Rome... those same colleagues wanted him to be their shelter. Their scapegoat.” And here’s why Wolfe rejects his earlier ambition: he can’t stand to work with the people who did nothing when the Library tried to destroy him. In a way, what the Curia is doing here is the same as what they did when Wolfe was arrested. They’re afraid, and they’ll let him be hurt rather than risk their own necks. They let him be tortured and erased rather than speak up for him. They’d rather let him be murdered or take the blame for anything that goes wrong than put themselves in that position. After everything he’s been through, he can’t tolerate that.

Best fucking moment in the book. Wolfe accepting the robe just to put it on Khalila and announce his retirement. Turning things around on the Curia and simultaneously putting leadership in place that won’t stand for the kind of corruption that resulted in his imprisonment. Khalila is young, idealistic, and stubborn enough to handle the Curia’s shit, and Wolfe knows it.

Still calling Nic by his first name. Wolfe doesn’t just want to hear from Lord Commander Santi, he wants to know what Dad Santi thinks of putting their kid on the throne, and this more intimate form of address subtly signals that.

Dad Santi supports Khalila for Archivist, even though he’s worried about her.

Morgan knows how to make an entrance. Does Eskander really agree, or is Morgan doing this on her own, knowing the Curia won’t ask questions?

Wolfe is aware of Morgan’s corruption. This suggests he could sense it in Ash and Quill, too.

“Beautiful, but fading like a winter rose, and seeing that hurt. I failed her, he thought. But he knew he couldn’t have helped her, either. Sometimes there were no good choices to be made. Only costly ones.” Wolfe’s guilt over Morgan’s corruption is very different than his guilt over Jess’s poisoning. What happened to Jess was a mistake that Wolfe could potentially have prevented. Asking Morgan to overuse her power was a more conscious choice on Wolfe’s part, and one that he knew the risks of when he made it. He knows he’s losing both of them, and both losses hurt, but he blames himself less for Morgan.

Apparently, a gold band is the only requirement to be Archivist.

“I agree with Wolfe; he hasn’t the inhuman patience necessary for the job. Neither do I, Christopher.” Vargas, being simultaneously friendly and insulting. Wolfe actually appreciates this, which is interesting, since he’s just expressed a profound distaste for the Curia and he usually prickles when called by his first name by people he dislikes. He may get along with Vargas better than he lets on.

Santi felt guilty enough over losing Murasaki to resign as Lord Commander. Under the circumstances, I really don’t think that’s a rational response. Of course there will be traitors in the ranks right after forcibly removing the old leadership, and it’s impossible to account for everything. But Santi isn’t thinking rationally. In his view, he’s had one failure after another for the past few months: betraying his company in Rome, failing to protect the pack in the Iron Tower and London, being too injured to do anything in Philly, failing to protect Wolfe and the kids in Castle Raby... The current battle isn’t won yet and the outcome is still uncertain. Losing the Archivist to soldiers the thought he could trust was just the last straw for him. But also, potentially, this could be a sign of some kind of pre-series friendship with Murasaki.

Lord Commander is eligible to be Archivist. Not that Nic wants anything to do with it. Under better circumstances, would he feel differently? Probably not; he knows what he’s good at, and that’s military leadership, not politics.

South American Vargas says “gods”, plural. Standard Library rhetorical polytheism or a sign of some form of polytheism being a major religion where she’s from?

Wolfe has a total dad moment, being simultaneously proud that his baby is the Archivist and terrified that he can’t help her.

The Curia stands respectfully for Khalila. “Wolfe leaned against the wall and crossed his arms.” Nice try, Wolfe, but we already know how much you care.

Santi feels better when there’s a job to do. Now that Khalila is Archivist, he needs to protect his kid, and he’s ready to get to work on that.

Wolfe knows Santi’s failure to protect Murasaki “would haunt him forever.” How many other past failures still weigh on Nic?

The only ones who can Translate into or out of the Archives are Morgan and Eskander. She now has equal access to him. They’re effectively sharing the Obscurist Magnus position, really.

Morgan has already planned to copy the Archives. Khalila has researched the Library’s history of making copies and is prepared to argue for it. And neither of them gives a damn what the Curia has to say about it. Wolfe suspects Morgan has already started the copying, and Khalila has no problem wielding her authority as Archivist to authorize it over any objections from the Curia.

As soon as Khalila calls on Santi to start planning defense strategies, Wolfe heads out. Interesting timing. Not being part of the Curia, he’s probably a bit uncomfortable being there, but I think this is also a gesture of trust in Nic’s ability to handle this.

“That was not the voice of his student. It was the voice of his queen.” Love this line. Nice sign of how Khalila inhabits her role. Also, somebody needs to include this in a Wolfe/Khalila fic.

And the chapter ends with Wolfe now having one more kid to worry about. Thomas is missing.

#the great library #sword and pen reread #sword and pen spoilers #long post

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inclineto · 4 years

Text

Books, September - October 2019

So the thing about a 3 canto/night Faerie Queene quota is that it sure does cut into the rest of your reading, while leaving you with an appetite for frivolity and no patience for bad style. But anyway...

Hither Page - Cat Sebastian [Look, there’s a charming but thoroughly implausible romance, post-war rationing, some murder, and a vicar. You’re either here for this sort of thing or you’re not. (I was there for it.)]

Gaywyck - Vincent Virga [There...is a lot going on here. But, astoundingly, slightly less incest than I expected!]

Waisted - Randy Susan Meyers

The Wild Places - Robert Macfarlane [”These are creatures, you realise, that live by voices inaudible to you.”]

The Ghost Clause - Howard Norman *

Maritime: New and Selected Poems - Ian Stephen [dnf]

Rabbits for Food - Binnie Kirschenbaum [So, how’s your depression right now? not so great? then maybe skip this - or, who knows, maybe now is exactly the time for someone else’s horrifyingly funny, horrifyingly realistic breakdown]

Sincerely, Harriet - Sarah W. Searle

Time Song: Searching for Doggerland - Julia Blackburn, with drawings by Enrique Brinkmann

By Demons Possessed - P.C. Hodgell [I’ve missed two or possibly three books in this series: I’m not sure and I don’t regret it and that probably means nothing good. But God Stalk is great! God Stalk is early 80s fantasy at its very weird best. Read that.]

To Lie with Lions - Dorothy Dunnett

Akin - Emma Donoghue

We Didn’t Mean to Go to Sea - Arthur Ransome

Margaret the First - Danielle Dutton * [In paper this time, and with absolute delight]

Names for the Sea: Strangers in Iceland - Sarah Moss

Social Creature - Tara Isabella Burton [Let us be glad we do not aspire to be young, rich, pretty, and well-photographed in New York. I’m truly unsure whether I was hate-reading this or not, but damn did I want to know what would happen next...which I suppose is exactly the point of being or watching bright young things.]

Any Old Diamonds - KJ Charles [I liked this more on the reread, but Jerry’s still too damn verbose]

Inconspicous Consumption: The Environmental Impact You Don’t Know You Have - Tatiana Schlossberg - [You probably knew you had it. Speaking of impacts, this book has used up the world’s entire supply of perky parenthetical asides and now there are none for the rest of us. Bummer. (Spoiler alert: I’m lying!)]

An Unseen Attraction - KJ Charles [Figured I’d see whether I thought better of this one on the reread, too - and it’s...fine. It’s fine.]

The Faerie Queene - Edmund Spenser ***

Caprice and Rondo - Dorothy Dunnett

Juniper, Gentian, and Rosemary - Pamela Dean

#books 2019 #books practical and pleasurable #the faerie queene! i spent all of october reading the entire freaking faerie queene!

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brenli · 5 years

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[28]

Tagged by: @goddamnitkastle (YAYAYAY ANOTHER ONE!)

1. how tall are you? 5′3″

2. what color and style is your hair? Dark brown. A couple of stray silver strands. When the light hits it right you can see natural auburn-y red highlights/tones in it, especially near the ends. I wear it long, down to my lower back, usually parted in the middle (sometimes on the left) and with bangs. Usually blunt-cut across my brows, but I'm not as good about trimming them as I ought to be so they usually end up growing out long enough that I need to brush them off to the right.

3. what color are your eyes? Brown

4. do you wear glasses? My cat-eye specs are basically part of my identity at this point.

5. do you wear braces? Nope

6. what is your fashion style? I have contempt for this question that likes of which you cannot believe. XD I guess in the most general sense it's rock-chic. Rock/metal girl elements mixed with glamorous or feminine elements/silhouettes. But this is MASSIVELY boiling down my massive wardrobe and I've certainly had moments of departure from the rock-chic umbrella depending on how I'm feeling. I dislike strictly adhering to specific style labels; I find it stifling.

7. full name? Brenda Lee Larson. My maiden name is cooler to be honest; I only changed it because I was more interested in sharing a surname with the Honey and I know I can still use my maiden name for other things.

8. when were you born? July 24, 1987

9. where are you from and where do you live now? Technically born in Coupeville on Whidbey Island, WA, USA and spent the first 4 years of my life bouncing around different naval stations because my family was about that Navy Life, but the majority of my formative years Spokane, WA, USA so my assumption is that would be more accurately where I'm "from." (Hawaii is where my heart wants to say I'm from though as that's where my earliest memories take place~) After some years spent CA (first in the Bay and then in LA), I'm currently living just south of Seattle, WA. So. Basically I've been wiggling around the West Coast my whole life, including going so far west I ditched the mainland for a spell.

10. what school do you go to? I WORK at a school currently, Cornish. Freelancing as a house manager for 3 of their 4 venues. The 4th one never seems to put on any events that require one of us from the house management roster, otherwise I'd work gigs at that one, too. XD

11. what kind of student are you? Some of you who make these questionnaires clearly cannot think beyond life-after-schooling and it shows. XD I was an above-average student for the vast majority of my years in schooling but I started falling off a little toward the end, largely because I was very keenly aware of what areas of study pertained to me and my interests/goals, and I had no patience for areas of study that did not. I left before it got too bad.

12. do you like school? I liked the parts of school that spoke to me~

13. what are your favorite school subjects? Literature/English was always the major go-to throughout all of my years of schooling. I was in Choir up until highschool; this was when Theatre became available to me and I wasn't able to participate in both, so I parted ways with Choir and focused on Theatre all the way up through my last years of schooling. Other subjects of interest, in highschool: Photography, Psychology, Forensic Science, World History. In college: Creative Writing, Journalism, Japanese.

14. favorite TV shows? The major ones have been racy period dramas The Tudors and The Borgias. I grew up on Star Trek TOS and as such it has a very dear place in my heart despite it not being a racy period drama. XD I also am quite invested in the Netflix MCU with Daredevil and The Punisher being my two favorite shows (Frank is my everything!). More currently I've been expanding my Sanada-san filmography-binge thanks in large part to @anagraves; I recently finished the 1993 Koukou Kyoushi and am through episode 10 of Konna Koi no Hanashi. What I've been learning from this - Hiroyuki Sanada knows how to break hearts whether he's being soft and vulnerable to cold and cruel and anything in between, but that's exactly why I love him.

INB4 "you post Snow White everything so why isn't OUAT on here" I do enjoy OUAT a lot, but I don't know if I would consider it a favorite show overall. I'm more fond of the earlier seasons than the later seasons and it's that ambivalent feeling I have for the later seasons that make the show not a favorite - but still very good overall.

It's also at this point that I should probably explain what my blog description does not - my blog started running a Snow White-themed queue LARGELY as part of an inspiration-drive for a Snow White AU project that I haven't actually touched in a long time. I REALLY should do something about that; I just keep getting pulled in other directions and now it's years on and here I am with what's basically a Snow White queueblog. XD If I can ever get my dumb head in gear and FINISH what I've started, that would honestly result in the queue being mass-posted and then probably altered to suit whatever the next project would be. That's always been the intention, anyway.

15. favorite movies? While I'm still feeling the chilly gaze of my Snow White queue, my favorite Snow White movie thus far is Mirror Mirror. I think it's massively underrated and that makes me sad.

As far as Disney is concerned, while I have a HUGE amount of respect for Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs, my favorite film growing up was Beauty and the Beast (and my Rococo-loving ass does adore the live action remake). Surprise??? XD More recently, Moana is the film of my heart; it's the closest Disney has gotten to making a Princess culturally-relevant to me as a half-Filipina so my tropical islander ass is just utterly enamoured with Moana. ((Listen Disney if you ever decide to make a super fun colorful precolonial Philippine film THE PERFECT PRINCESS EXISTS FOR THAT, I submit for your consideration - Urduja!)

Because of my rather open-door childhood with regard to media, my earliest favorite movies are actually Nightmare on Elm Street and Nightmare on Elm Street: Dream Warriors. Freddy is my Nightmare King Murder Boyfriend and I'm prepared to face judgement for that. XD

Fondness for Star Trek TOS has resulted in an affection for the AOS movies~

But a movie that speaks to me very much is What Dreams May Come.

Currently I've gotten re-ensnared into The Last Samurai, in correlation with the most recent AU project. Because I am hopeless, Grumpy Samurai is Best Samurai, and I've been spending time manically fretting and pretending that because Ujio drops before the gatling guns are brought out, maybe he SOMEHOW managed to survive in SOME way and he can have tons of cool battle scars. Right? ... RIGHT???

16. favorite books? If manga counts then it's Angel Sanctuary. Hands down. No contest. It's easily woven itself into my life in the form of fanfic that is/was well-received within the fandom, and a weirdly HUGE list of AUs that somehow burst out of nowhere. (Currently all of it, AU work included, can be read via my FF.Net account under brenli. I have a placeholder page on AO3 that's currently empty but may end up holding all my content there as well, in time. If I can ever make the time.)

I was and am really into Sue Harrison's Ivory Carver series, particularly My Sister the Moon.

It was part of my middle school/junior high reading curriculum but I honestly DID really like The Diving Bell by Todd Strasser. Even if the cover art of Culca coming up out of the ocean looked A LOT like me and resulted in my class calling me Culca for the entirety of our unit on that book. It's fine. Culca is a badass queen of pearls and seawater so I'm happy to be associated with her~!

Every now and then I remember a book that clearly really resonated with my as a child if I still remember it, but the problem is that I don't remember the title or the author, or even any of the characters' names. It was about a Roma girl who lived in the American south - I wanna say Tennesee? - who was discovered for her talent playing guitar and singing country music. The book essentially details her struggle between her traditional roots as a Roma person, including the arrangement for her to be married young, and her interest in pursuing music as a career but feeling alienated by an industry and a society at large that is wealthier than her and has a different culture from her own. The book ends with her running away but it isn't made clear what her ultimate fate is. To this DAY it bothers me that I don't remember the title or the author because I honestly go through periods where I want to reread it. And yes, this was the kind of stuff I was reading as a child. XD I also read My Sister the Moon for the first time when I was like. 11 years old. If you're familiar with the content of that book then you're aware that certain scenes are really not 11-year-old friendly, but. If I can watch gratuitous 80's slasher horror at age 4 then I can read about a young woman surviving sexual abuse at age 11.

17. favorite pastime? Writing at this rate, honestly. Which probably speaks more to my inner tortured artist than anything else. XD

18. do you have any regrets? I feel like everybody has at least one regret and anyone who says otherwise is either very very young, or lying. XD It's not about whether you have regrets, it's about not letting them hold you in the past.

19. dream job? Telling stories, in any and every way attainable to me.

20. would you like to get married someday? I already am~

21. would you like to have kids someday? Absolutely not. I don't feel like my life is conducive to childrearing, and INB4 "you're never truly ready" and "you make it work" the key factor here is I'm not WILLING to become ready and I'm not WILLING to make it work. That's how I know my life is not conducive to childrearing. XD (I'm at that age where tons of people are asking me this and feeding me words meant to encourage me to consider and it's honestly EXHAUSTING by this point. I can't wait for when I'm menopausal maybe people will finally shut up about it because I'll be past my prime~)

23. do you like shopping? I mean, yes, but I usually avoid it because I'm aware of how impulsive I am.

24. what countries have you visited? I'm tempted to say that Hawaii should count because it's so far away from the mainland. XD But honestly I've never been outside of US territory. It's in the plans to try for Japan during the Tokyo 2020 Olympics. I'm not sure if we'll make that goal but if not, I figure it won't hurt to continue saving up anyway and making a Tokyo trip post-Olympics. Prices will be cheaper post-Olympics, anyway, so~

25. what’s the scariest nightmare you’ve ever had? At the risk of raising weird red flags I've gone through periods where I'll have reoccurring nightmares about being actively pursued by someone who very obviously intends to do harm. It happens often enough that the Honey wonders if I'm mentally suppressing something. XD I did have a standalone dream though, where me and the Honey were asleep in bed and then I become aware that someone's broken into the house and is approaching our bed. I'm walking through every possible option in my head with my eyes shut; if the Honey and I both lunged at the attacker we could possibly overpower them just because it would be two against one. But I know that I can't possibly wake up the Honey and make him aware of the situation without the attacker immediately acting and resulting in at least one of us being injured or killed. I realize that I have no choice but to try and take the attacker by surprise by myself and hope that is enough. I make peace with that. I can feel the attacker leaning over me. I suddenly lunge at them in full primal adrenaline-filled rage.

I wake up.

26. do you have any enemies? I guess that I have a few, yes, but honestly at this point I've gotten probably a little too used to being vilified. Barring physical assault or turning the animosity on innocent third parties in my life, I am prepared to weather the metaphorical lashes.

27. do you have an s/o? I have my Honey~

28. do you believe in miracles? I believe in miracles that aren't the overt surface-level wish-fulfillment-from-above which I think most people expect a miracle to be. I think that sometimes luck plays out via a slim-to-none chance and that can be a miracle. I think that sometimes a person works very hard at something or for something and when they achieve it, that can be a miracle. I think that the butterfly effect is a double-edged sword, but sometimes that little flutter of a butterfly's wings is a miracle.

Tagging: @yacky-jackie @halorecoil @anagraves @benevolentqueenofstars @lesbomancy @candybunnieholic @lemonedscream @tinathefish

#questionaire

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sparkleywonderful · 6 years

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The Prince of Ice: Ch 24.1

Part 24.1 of The Prince of Ice series, a retelling of Heir of Fire from Rowan’s point of view.

The Prince of Ice Parts [ 1 ] [ 2 ] [ 3 ] [ 4 ] [ 5 ] [ 6 ] [ 7 ] [ 8 ] [ 9 ] [ 10 ] [ 11 ] [ 12 ] [ 13 ] [ 14 ] [ 14.5 ] [ 15 ] [ 16 ] [ 17 ] [ 18 ] [ 19 ] [ 20 ] [ 21 ] [ 22 ] [ 23 ] [ 24.1 ] [ 24.2 ] [ 24.3 ] [ 24.4 ] [ 24.5 ] [ 24.6 ] [ 24.7 ] [ AO3 ]

A/N: I have been dying to write this chapter, just dying. It was so much fun to write and I always felt that this exclusive belonged in the book. Although we all filled in the gaps, it is the first time you truly see the friendship that is growing between Rowan and Aelin. For tumblr, I will be braking this apart into seven sections for your viewing pleasure.

Gratitude goes to @bookofademigod and @themaasofwar for posting the target exclusive. Without this I would have never been able to write this very important POV.

- - - - - - -

Months before Aelin reclaimed her identity as the long-lost Queen of Terrasen, she still called herself Celaena Sardothien - and was trained to wield her rekindled magic by a Fae Prince in a mountain fortress of Wendlyn… Despite their rough beginning, Aelin and Rowan have finally formed a solid friendship, based on mutual respect, trust, and more than a bit of banter. But just when their bond begins to shift into something neither of them quite anticipates - something far deeper - the fortress of Mistward receives a visit from three Fae nobles. And one of them claims some very, very personal ties to Rowan himself. Read on for an exclusive deleted scene from Heir of Fire, in which Aelin gets her first glimpse of the Fae nobility of Doranelle, and a bit more of Rowan’s history is revealed to her … with fiery consequences.

- - - - - - -

He blinked, then reread the missive. He could deal with Benson and even possibly enjoy the company of Essar. It was who signed the missive that made his blood run cold. Remelle. He headed to the kitchen to gather Aelin and hoped that she was in a pleasant enough mood to grant him this one favor.

He watched her lounging on a boulder, her golden hair gleaned in the sun, the heir of Mala evident in the glow around her. She was changing, the healthy weight, the healing soul and the aging that happened to women between their late teens and twenties was beginning to settle into her face. She had always been beautiful, but her features were beginning to sharpen in some places while softening in others, transforming her to breathtaking.

“What’s your favorite food?”

They had been doing this exchange back and for for weeks. Sometimes it was like this, light and harmless, other times they peeled the layers back that had protected them from the world and left them feeling raw, exposed.

“Whatever keeps me alive at the moment.”

It was an honest answer, he did not know when but at some point he stopped enjoying food.

She clicked her tongue. “Could you be any more of an animal?”

He slid a glance in her direction, lifting a brow he had to remember she was raised by mortals, not Fae, especially not a Fae warrior who just happened to shift into a hawk. When she only scowled, he signed.

“There’s a street vendor in Doranelle who sells meat on a stick.”

“Meat on a stick,” He could see her fighting to keep her lips in a straight line.

“And I suppose yours is some confection or useless bit of sugar.”

“Sweets aren’t useless. And yes. I’d crawl over hot coals for a piece of chocolate hazelnut cake right now.”

He could almost smell the sadness on her. He wondered if there was a deeper memory tied to the useless confection.

“What good could that possibly be for keeping your body strong? With your magic, you’d burn through it and be hungry again within half an hour.”

She propped herself on her elbows. “Your priorities are obscenely out of order. Not all food is for survival and strength-building. You didn’t even try one of the chocolates from that town. I guarantee the moment you do, every time I turn my back, you’ll be shoveling them down.”

He just stared at her, before she decided it would be best to change topics, “Favorite color?”

He looked down from his perch, over the foothills and valleys of Wendlyn rippling away below them, “Green.”

“I’m surprised you actually know.”

He narrowed his eyes, but said, “What’s yours?”

“For a while, I made myself believe it was blue. But -- it’s always been red. You probably know why.”

He made an affirmative sound, while she raised a hand above her, threading a line of fire through her fingers. She plaited it between her knuckles, then snaked it down her palm, until it curled around her wrist, twining and slithering along her skin.

She had spent more than the last ten years fighting who she was. The fear of who she was and the power she had would continue to be a battle for her. He was slowly learning when to support and when to push.

“Good,” Rowan said. “Your control is improving.”

“Mmhmm.” she lifted her other hand, and rings of flame encircled her fingers. She set to work on carving the flames, forging them into individual patterns.

He was not sure what made him say it, “Try it on me.”

He responded to her frown, “Do it.”

He didn’t flinch when she fashioned a crown of flame for him. Right atop his head.

“Bold move, one that doesn’t have much space for error.”

“I’m surprised you’re not encasing your head with ice.”

“I trust you,” he said quietly enough that she looked at his face.

And he did, but there was more to her control than he expected, he wondered if she was actively wielding her power not to burn him or if it was instinctive.

“And now one for you,” he said, as a crown of ice formed in the space between them, its delicate spikes rising high. He lifted it between his hands and set it on her head, its weight light.

The innocent small smile she gifted him was everything. In that moment, he remembered that she was more than a demi-Fae, more than a girl, she was a Queen. And it seemed at the same moment, she remembered the same as her flames and smile faltered.

“We’re going to have visitors tonight.”

“Should I be concerned?”

“I -- need your help.”

“Ah. So that’s why you let me have an afternoon of peace.”

He snarled, but she lifted a brow. “Will I finally be meeting your mysterious friends?”

“No. They’re Fae nobility, passing through the area. They requested a place to stay for the night, and will arrive around sunset. Emrys is making them dinner, and I am expected to . . . entertain them.”

When he just looked at her, she said, “Oh, no. No.”

“They will not condescend to dine with the demi-Fae, and --”

“I’m even less acceptable than a demi-Fae!”

“--if I have to play host to them all evening, it will likely end in bloodshed.”

She blinked. “Not favorites of yours?”

He almost laughed at that. Favorites. Even before, he had little patience for court and nobility. The gods above knew that he was fated for a different life far away from politics.

“They’re typical nobility. Not trained warriors. They expect to be treated a certain way.”

“So? You’re in Maeve’s little cabal. And you’re a prince to boot. Don’t you outrank them?”

“Technically, but there are politics to consider. Especially when they’ll be reporting to Maeve.”

She groaned. “So what -- I’m supposed to play hostess?”

Her face was miserable, and part of him wondered if she was asking to much from her. “No just -- help me deal with them.”

“And what am I going to get out of it?”

He clenched his jaw, “I’ll find you a chocolate hazelnut cake.”

“No.” He raised his brows, the confirmation that there was a story behind her love-hate relationship with that particular confection.

She threw a wicked smile at him in response. “You’ll just owe me. A favor that I can call in whenever I please.”

He sighed, lifting his gaze skyward. He did not like how dependent he was becoming on her, but he knew that he would do more damage alone. He needed a reminder of why he needed to stay at Mistward. Why he was a warrior and a Prince only in name. “Just look presentable at sundown.”

#The Prince of Ice #Prince of Ice #rowan whitethorn #rowan pov #aelin ashryver galathynius #heir of fire #sparkleywonderful

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