#also seeing people hate rachel for being a girl with a crush made me super annoyed! she’s just existing omg 😭 | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

fanfic-lover-girl · 2 years

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@sohemotional I won't continue on the original post to respect the OP's wishes.

May I ask why you find Rachel to be obnoxious and dislike her? I’m just curious because this is such a common opinion in the Glee fandom/outside the fandom but no one ever really says why they consider her obnoxious.

I mean sometimes a character can get on your nerves for no obvious reason (that’s how I feel about Blaine personally) and I wouldn’t expect everyone to like Rachel’s very intense personality but is there any particular reason you dislike her?

Not sure about people not saying why they do not like Rachel. It's pretty obvious if you look in the anti Rachel tag which I did once because I was curious. The posts are pretty detailed.

Just to start off, I am not a super Glee fan. I love the performances mostly and I find the analyses interesting. The character ideas are good. The fanfics and analyses made me want to watch it. I watched season 1-3 on amazon prime (most of it) with scenes of season 4-6 on Youtube. Also I tend to be indifferent towards female characters. I prefer the stories of male characters more in the media I watch (very limited) generally. Maybe because they are fleshed out more in the shows I watch.

So why I dislike Rachel for the most part...I was neutral about her when I began reading on Glee. I saw reasons for loving and hating her. The fanfics I read at the beginning were also balanced - some had more bashing elements and others portrayed her as an amazing friend and teammate. But I had no clue who she was so I did not fully absorb these ideas until I watched Glee for myself.

I have not watched Glee in a while since I lost interest. But off the top of my head:

How Authority Treats Her - Here I am referring to Mr. Shue and Carmen. As someone who used to be seen as a teacher's pet, I can relate to Rachel here actually. Mr. Shue has blatant favoritism for her and Finn which I find inappropriate and unfair to other glee members. Carmen also seems to warm to her talents but inviting Rachel to that winter showcase seemed unrealistic to me. Rachel is good but she is among higher competition now, plus she's freshman. It's like when I went to college. I was valedictorian in high school but at college I was just another smart kid. If anything, Carmen should have doubled down on freshman Rachel if she really believed in her potential. She also gets away with blatant disrespect where others do not. Kurt, Mercedes and Santana have been punished by Mr. Shue for things. Rachel does not. The only time I recall she got even a taste was when Mr. Shue shouted at her about her attitude. Rachel disrespects Carmen, the woman who gave her an undeserved second chance, and she's back at NYADA?? Give me a break. I can't see a woman like Carmen tolerating Rachel after that.

How She Treats Kurt - Kurt can be mean to Rachel, especially in season 1. He did get better though. But for him supposedly being a close friend, she treats him badly. She goes after Blaine despite knowing about Kurt's crush. As a straight girl, she has more options than Kurt and it paints her as selfish and inconsiderate. She laughs at Kurt doing his Tony audition, despite knowing of his desire to go to NYADA with a smaller resume than her. She was a terrible roommate (eg. bringing Brody into the apartment without his consent). When Kurt tries to get her to reconsider dropping out of NYADA for Funny Girl out of concern, she lashes out and insults him. She feels superior over Kurt after the winter showcase or some other thing. I'm likely forgetting other cases. The writers replacing Rachel as Kurt's best friend was confusing but natural for the plot I suppose.

Attitude in Glee club - Like @helbertinelli mentioned, girls like Rachel can be intimidating. I mentioned that I do respect that about Rachel. She reminds me of the fierce drive I had in high school. But it seems to me that she is the only girl who can do this without being demonized by Mr. Shue or be rewarded for it. When Mercedes and Tina gets tired of Rachel's shadow, everyone gangs up on them. When Mercedes is forced to share Maria with Rachel, she is labelled as unreasonable even though Rachel admitted Mercedes was better than her. Rachel can be kind and selfless but when it comes to competitions and Glee club she is extremely selfish. Whenever someone else gets a chance to shine, it's a problem for her (eg. Quinn and Sam). Working with people like Rachel is a nightmare.

Bigotry - Other characters like Santana, Sebastian etc have said racist things about her. One of the main reasons I dislike Santana as well. She's an overrated character and I find her to be one of the biggest bullies on the show. Fandom and canon claims she was nasty because she felt insecure due to her being lesbian, but she's just as terrible after she accepts herself. At least for guys like Sebastian what he says is portrayed as horrible since he is an antagonist. Anyway, Rachel is casually bigoted. Eg. krunk club, dissing Artie as a lead guy in S1. But other ND members say problematic things so she can get a pass here.

Those are things off the top of my head. As I have said, there are things I like about her. She can be a good friend to people who have hurt her, eg. Quinn, Kurt, Puck. Also she is pretty consistent about supporting Kurt against homophobia from Karofsky, even more than Finn at times. I think her reconciliation with Quinn was one of the best friendships on the show. Plus she has sweet moments like when she encouraged Kurt to smile during sectionals in S2. You can emphasize with her insecurities, eg. not feeling pretty, being bullied for her dreams. I did not like how she treated Finn at times (eg. disregarding his dreams, using sex to make her performance better, telling him to give up football to make herself feel better) but I believe by the end of season 3 these issues were addressed. I don't see Finchel being sustainable anyway. One of them would need to give up their dream for it to work.

Based on what I have read, maybe some of the hate towards her is overblown. I would like her more if she faced more realistic consequences. Like I think making Mercedes share Maria was disrespectful. Maybe Rachel could have given up Maria to Mercedes in good faith (similar to a rival acknowledging being bettered by his competitor) and then Mercedes agreed to share since she was a good sport. Or maybe if she didn't get into NYADA (who stalks a dean like that and gets away with it??) and she improved herself for a while. She could do some small roles and maybe Carmen sees her in a show and is impressed. That would feel more earned. Or maybe she goes to NYADA and she is a smaller fish. She has harsh teachers and she feels insecure. But she keeps her drive and she eventually surpasses her peers.

Overall, I find Rachel to be an awful character. Why do ambitious theatre girls have to be portrayed like that? Flawed characters are a thing but at least make them face consequences. After season 3, I could no longer stand her.

That's why even if he is not my fav character, I can get behind someone like Kurt or Mercedes because I see how much they struggled without Mr. Shue's favoritism or people like Jesse putting in a good word for them or the stars aligning for them like with Rachel. When Kurt gets into NYADA, it's awe inspiring. Or when Mercedes gets her break in the music industry.

It's a bit long but that's my stance as someone who came into Glee fairly neutral about Rachel.

#glee #rachel berry #rachel berry critical #anti rachel berry #glee ideas for better narrative #anti santana lopez #wow i realized i see more of myself in rachel

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darkstarnight02 · 3 years

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Why the Akuma Class Doesn’t Trusts Lila Rossi

Nino

This dude is a loyal friend

Like, he’s also a loyal boyfriend, so it’s hard when his girlfriend is siding with Lila

But he’s the one who’s like

“Dudes, we’ve known Mari for years there’s no way she would do the stuff this new girl we’ve known for five minutes says she did.”

He and Kim and Mari were besties since preschool, I think we all know that.

Adrien

I hate it when people say he tries to defend her with the high road crap

When he sees her hurting people, especially Marinette

Because lets be honest, he cares about her alot

He’s less forgiven

Like do y’all remember the “BeCaUsE We’Re FrIeNdS, aReN’t We?”

So he’s not going to try and make her life miserable

But he is going to try to get her to stop

Chloé

Let’s be honest, she never liked Lila in the first place.

So Imma give y’all bonus “how she figured out everyone’s identities”

So once she became friends with Marinette

Cause they formed a “we hate Lie-la” alliance

(tho since Mari’s still friends with the others its kinda awkward)

Chloe’s pretty smart.

Like, she totally could have figured it out before they became friends

But she would never have believed back then that Mari-trash was Ladybug, her idol (and lesbian awakening, lesbihonest)

But now that she’s friends with her, it’s way too obvious

And she definitely already knew about Adrien because these guys are besties

And, dudes, she never had a crush on him, she was just an overprotective best friend

And a very touchy one

To her, it’s all pretty obvious.

She thinks that its just whatever magic thats blinding everyone of the obvious, its immune to (like low-key Rachel Dare here)

But Sabine, Tom, and Jagged probably know to because they’re all Kings and Queens.

So Chloe figures everyone out pretty quickly.

Sabrina

She trust Chloe more than anyone.

But I’m not just gonna use that because its kinda boring.

Tho Chloe is her bi crush so that definitely helps secure loyalties

Its only when Marinette becomes MDC that she realizes

and yes, Sabrina probably knows because Chloe and she also recognizes the designs from some stuff she has in her own closet.

So anyway, she realizes Mari is MDC and she’s some famous designer and Lila is not

And Mari also knows Jagged and Clara and a whole bunch of other famous people

And she never brags about it but there’s proof that she knows them

while Lila always brags about it but she’s never been mentioned and no one knows her.

Alya

I hate it when people say she totally sides with Lila.

This girl knows that her bestie never lies(or at least thinks)

and some things with Lila don’t add up.

Like she doesn’t check directly if what Lila says is true

But she’ll be doing research for something else and see’s that it contradicts something that Lila said.

So she’ll do more research and try to figure more stuff out

And she’s like holy f*ck nothing Lila says is true.

Or, alternatively, for those of you who have watched season 4

She immediately realizes Lila’s a liar right after Marinette tells her she’s Ladybug.

Marinette

No explanation needed.

Mylène

Mylene notices when Lila insults one of her classmates one day.

Even if its subtle, or just piping on the edge of her blaming Marinette for something, she notices it.

And a good person wouldn’t say something like that,

Like Chloe, they all expect something like that from

No one every really liked Chloe in the first place

And Mari never says anything rude

Sure, she gets angry at Chloe and Lila sometimes, and she tries to prove what they say is wrong, but she never directly attacks someone.

I don’t know who Lila was being a bitch to this time, but it cost her a follower.

Alix

This girl is probably one of the most Gen Z kids in the Akuma Class, which is pretty sad because they’re all supposed to be Gen Z.

She can smell bullcrap from a mile away

Not to mention the little hints older Bunnyx drops whenever she visits.

With the mix of her being the future miraculous holder of time and being the daughter of a historian, she’s very aware of history and timelines and cause and effects and chain reactions

So when Marinette starts ‘acting up’ she tries to find when her personality switched over

And even if she seems more like a background character, this aro/ace queen always seems to know your secrets.

So even before she knew Lila was a phony, she knew that Mari was MDC and that Jagged Stone was Juleka and Luka’s dad

So she definitely figured some stuff out that way

Honestly, next to Chloe, Alix was probably one of the first people to figgure out Mari’s identity.

She’s a detective to rival batman

Ivan

I think Lila would make some sort of rift between him and Mylene.

He loves her so much and it would be so hard

And mari and her friends would help him out

and he would see the truth

They wouldn’t like break up or anything

But he can just tell immediately when someone’s being a bad person.

Kim

Probably something similar to Nino

But I think it’d be a bit more like he’s totally a die-hard fan of some of Marinette’s connections or some of Marinette’s work itself

And when he puts the pieces together its like everything makes sense in the world.

He really feels super stupid afterwards.

Ondine probably slaps him for not trusting his childhood best friend before some bitchy new girl.

Max

This is the smartest dude in class

He made a f*cking robot with emotions you can’t tell me he doesn’t figure Lila out.

A part of me believes that in the first episode with Lila when they were all waiting on her hand and foot they were probably aware that she was kind of delusional, but were giving into it the way you give into the tales of a six year old.

Like ‘yeah, okay sweetie. Sure’.

I mean, at least that’s why Max went along with the napkin thing, because there’s no other excuse for that whole incident.

Nathaniel

I don’t totally know how he figured her out, but I love the idea of her saying that she can introduce him to the creator of the Ladybug Comics.

They actually sit next to each other in class, so he definitely is more aware of her weird behavior than others.

And since he’s an artist he’s very observant, always noticing things like her facial expressions and what seems more exaggerated than real.

And we all know how kwami-damned done Nathaniel is with the class, so he probably knew all along.

Not to mention that since the rest of the school is less submissive to Lila’s lies, Marc probably pointed it out to him at some point.

There’s also the idea that since Nathaniel is pretty much never mentioned anymore, the class forgets about him and he ends up having to spend some time with Marinette and the other outcasts

In which he realizes that they are actually good people.

Honestly, Nathaniel probably knew all along but he’s just not a drama queen about it so Lila never bothered him.

Rose

Girls besties with Prince Ali, one of the key components of Lila’s lies

She definitely does not want to believe that someone is capable of so much evil, and she definitely gets Akumatized when she figures it out

She goes through a lot of denial but is eventually convinced.

Juleka

Her dad is Jagged Stone, also another key component of Lila’s lies.

After becoming Tigris Pourpre, the holder of the tiger miraculous (that’s canon in the future), she gets a little bit more invested in cat culture

And omfg I just realized that both of our models are kittens and I just wanna DIE because that’s so cute.

And honestly now that I’m thinking about it if she was a celebrity she would totally take after Jagged and have an emotional support tiger like Princess Jasmine.

ANYWAY, I’m kinda getting off topic here.

So she asks Jagged about his cat, and he’s like

“wtf I’ve never had a cat why would I have a cat I have FANG my CROCODILE”

And she’s like but your cat...

And he’s like “Jules, darling, I wrote a song about how I replaced my family with a guitar and I have three instagrams for Fang, why would I have a feline animal?”

And she’s just like

....

And honestly she probably already knew some sh*t was up before that

Because Luka obviously, despite only having met Lila, like, once, probably, dislikes Lila severely

And also Juleka is more of an observer than a do-er so she probably saw that some stuff was up.

#Lila Rossi #Lila Rosi's Lies #Akuma Class #couffaine twins #Kim and Mari and Nino are Childhood Besties #I hate bashing just shut up everyone except Lila and Hawkmoth is awesom

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gabrielcasagrande13 · 3 years

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THE ILLUSTRATIONS OF “SPILL THE TEA: DIARY OF A TEENAGE DRAMA QUEEN”

Hello, darlings! My name is Gabriel Casagrande and I am the author of “SPILL THE TEA: DIARY OF A TEENAGE DRAMA QUEEN”, the first book of the “DIARY OF A TEENAGE DRAMA QUEEN” trilogy. Starting today, it is available on Amazon Kindle for only 5 dollars or, if you loan it on Kindle Unlimited, it is free.

In this post, I will show you some of the illustrations of the book because they represent really well my characters’ personalities. They are being published on my Instagram, @gabrielcasagrande.pdf. You should follow it to be updated on news about the second book, “BAD REPUTATION: DIARY OF A TEENAGE DRAMA QUEEN”, which will be released soon.

The narrative is based on the point of view of Ronan, the protagonist, who tells us the story of his high school senior year through his diary. Even though romance is not the main theme of the book, one of the first plots is the crush Ronan harbors for Carlos José, the new kid in school. Ronan describes the boy as “a prince”, despite the fact that Carlos made friends with James Matthew, “the most insufferable boy on Earth”.

He’s new in our school and he’s beautiful. He just arrived, and honestly, I don’t even know what to think. Jessica doesn’t think he’s pretty, but she also doesn’t think our teacher, Richard, is handsome, so she’s clearly insane (and has bad taste in men).

The new boy is called Carlos José, but he already said we can call him CJ. Unfortunately, he’s already made friends with James Matthew, the most insufferable boy on Earth. James is the biggest jerk, and he loves to make my life hell, he’s been doing it ever since we met.

James Matthew and Ronan never got along: James is the typical high school bad boy and always picked on Ronan. They have some conflict during the year but end up growing closer as the narrative progresses.

"What do you want? Don’t you have to go to the woods smoke weed with your little friends?"

His brown eyes stared at me with some anger, it was a deep look. Eye to eye. He hated when I gave him sassy answers. I knew that and I loved to provoke him.

"I do, but first I’m gonna buy a Coke," he replied and stood up to go buy it. I exhaled heavily and he simply threw my backpack on the ground because he clearly had nothing better to do.

TOTAL JERK!

James is the former boyfriend of Hanna, one of the three Queen Bees of the school. Ronan may not like any of them, but it’s senior year now, and he believes it’s no longer time to worry about having stupid arguments with people that don’t matter. This, of course, does nothing to prevent the multiple messes he and his best friend Jessica get in involving the three girls.

After class ended, Jessica and I left the school and were going to the mall when that bitch Denise walked by us and threw Jessica’s bag on the floor.

"Hey, there’s no need to pretend to be insane, we all know you actually are," I commented, very ticked off by her attitude.

"Insane? I thought you had decided I was a hag," she replied, trying to be funny but failing miserably.

"You’re an insane hag, is that better?!" Jessica was very mad.

And her comment did nothing to calm Denise down.

"Bitch!" Denise screamed.

"Whore!" Jess replied and I decided to intervene before I had to separate them by force.

Jessica and Ronan are best friends and spend most of their time together, whether it be gossiping on the school hallways or skipping the afternoon writing classes to go to the movies. However, when Jessica makes a big mistake, their friendship does not prevent them from growing apart.

She said she’d have lunch with me, and she’d pay me there. Then we were leaving the school to go to the mall, and she goes "I’m just gonna use the bathroom real quick", I kept waiting at the door until Rachel comes out to say Jessica asked her to tell me to wait for her at the mall because she had to give her younger brother some money but she’d meet me there. I waited for her at the mall. NOTHING. When I confronted Jessica and asked her why the fuck had she done that, she said that actually she’d asked Rachel to tell me to go and eat by myself at the mall because she was going to have lunch with her baby brother, but that Rachel misunderstood her and told me to wait at the mall. Then Jessica said she’d wait for her older brother to bring the money to school today and that she would message me, so I’d come get it (in the morning she told me she had the money in her bag).

Barbara is a classmate of Ronan’s, and he finds out she’s in love with him. His first reaction is to be surprised that someone in the whole school thinks he’s straight, since everyone knows he’s SUPER GAY. But as time goes on, Ronan realizes she’s not the crazy and clingy girl he thought she was, and they become great friends.

"Dear Ronan, your eyes are as blue as the sky and your lips make me want to kiss you every time I see you. Could you meet me at the foot of the front stairs?

Signed, your secret admirer."

That had to be a joke.

Who in the hell thought I was straight? God, I’m gay!

G-A-Y. Like, super gay... how...? That made no sense. See? This party was just insane.

I decided to ignore it for the moment. It could just be one of the snakes trying to prank me which, no thanks. Also, a minute after I read the note from my secret admirer, my phone dinged in my pocket.

These are the main characters of “Diary of a Teenage Drama Queen”. So, stop wasting time and get your digital copy of the book right now, exclusive on Amazon’s Kindle. You should also follow the Instagram @gabrielcasagrande.pdf to get news about the trilogy!

XOXO, Gabriel Casagrande.

#Book #Diary #Teen #teenage #Comedy #Romance #Gay #LGBT #high school #Friendship

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kurts-still-here · 3 years

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Nothing Breaks Like A Heart Chapter 3 Kurt/ Sebastian FanFiction

Hello everyone, I am back with chapter 3 of “Nothing Breaks Like A Heart”. Please read etheir on here or A03 or FanFiction. Net and leave any comments, questions or feedback for me. I love hearing from you guys and everyone was super sweet about the chapters so far. This chapter is about Kurt and Sebastian and it’s really sad :( Anyway read for yourself and have a good day!! :)

Archive Of Our Own

FanFiction.Net (Chapter 3)

They Say Follow Your Heart But If Your Heart Is In A Million Pieces Then Which Piece Do You Follow?- Unknown

Kurt slowly opened his eyes and sat up in his bed. He was the only one there and he was wondering why he felt like he had gotten hit by a bus when all the events from the previous came flooding back to him. It instantly shocked him and before he knew it he was crying. When the first thing you do in the morning is cry, you know it’s not going to be a good day but Kurt didn’t know how it could get any worse. He had thought about everything the previous night and tried to convince himself to get over it because nothing could be done about it.

He had broken up with Blaine. They were done and he had accepted that even though the wounds were still fresh (both physically and emotionally). He had also accepted the injuries and bruises that Blaine had given him. But it was Blaine. Blaine had hurt him. Blaine was jealous. He was cold hearted and he had proven to Kurt that he didn’t truly care about him. And Sam found out without Kurt even telling him. He knew Sam had sworn to keep his secret but what if someone else found it? What would his friends who were smarter than Finn think when they learned that he had been badly beaten up the same night that he had broken up with Blaine? If Sam was smart enough to figure it out then surely someone like Quinn or Rachel could? It was hard enough trusting Sam, he didn’t think he could trust anyone else besides Sebastian.

He knew that Sebastian knew he had been missing and he wondered if he now knew that he showed up at home. He probably did though and Kurt would have to text him later to tell him what happened. He needed to tell someone to get it off his chest. He had vaguely described the events to Sam but he hadn’t said all of it and he knew that Seb would understand the most. That he would be the most comforting in Kurt’s current situation and that he would just listen and then would give his thoughts and opinions.

Sebastian had never really liked Blaine. Kurt and him had been friends before Kurt had met Blaine and Sebastian could instantly tell that Kurt liked him. At first, Sebastian was very supportive and tried to get the two of them together but then he started to figure out that Blaine was trying to lead Kurt on and he didn’t like that. Sebastian had confessed his suspicion to Kurt but he had just waved him off and told him that he was being ridiculous. If only he had listened to him. But then they eventually started dating and that made Sebastian hate Blaine even more. He hated how Blaine treated Kurt like an object. How whenever Blaine saw Kurt talking to another boy how possessive he got, hanging onto him and kissing him every chance he got. How jealous he was of Kurt to see that he got along with other people besides him.

And the worst part of all was how big of a flirt Blaine was. He hit on everyone, including Sebastian himself. He was subtle about it, so subtle that Kurt didn’t seem to catch on to him but some people seemed to notice and they didn’t like it. Blaine would hit on Nick, making Jeff angry and they eventually stopped hanging out with him unless Kurt, Sebastian or some of the other Warblers were around. The same happened with Wes and David. And maybe Kurt did catch on and he just didn’t say anything because he didn’t want to upset him which was just another reason why their relationship was so crappy.

Even though Kurt didn’t know it, Sebastian loved him. More than a friend as a lover. They had known each other every sense they were kids and had grown up with one another. They had stayed friends when Sebastian had moved to Paris and Sebastian had comforted Kurt the best he could when he learned that Kurt was getting bullied. He moved back to Ohio around the time that Kurt had transferred to Dalton and it felt good for them to be so close again. It was like nothing had even changed between them, they had fallen right back in sync. When he had first moved back he was happy just being Kurt’s friend but then he realized that he had feelings for Kurt. It was too late though because Kurt was already falling for Blaine. And you could say that Sebastian hated Blaine so much because he was jealous of him and maybe that was part of the reason. The bigger reason, the more important reason why Sebastian hated him was because of how much he hurt Kurt and how he was such a manipulative asshole and that Kurt couldn’t see it.

Sebastian had been there for Kurt all the times that Blaine had made him cry. Kurt’s first week at Dalton had ended with him having a mental breakdown because he was so stressed out with the workload and to top it all off, Blaine had told Kurt that he needed to blend in more if he wanted to be a better member of the Warblers. Then when Kurt thought that Blaine had a crush on him just for him to find out that it was on some closeted guy from the GAP. And then Kurt still went to support Blaine even though he was heartbroken and even when the whole serenade had turned to shit and when Kurt had told Blaine that he thought it was for him and Blaine still stood turned him down. Blaine had picked someone who was still in the closet over Kurt and that had hurt him. Which in turn made Sebastian angry. But there was still more. Then there was the night that the three of them had gone to Rachel’s party and Blaine had gotten drunk and made out with Rachel Berry. At first, Kurt thought it was hilarious but as the kissing between the two lasted longer and he saw how much Blaine had enjoyed it, Sebastian could tell that Kurt was once again hurt by the asshole. And why wouldn’t he be, first Blaine chose a guy that was five years older than him, who was still closeted when Kurt was young and out and proud and now he had chosen a girl when he was gay. It just got worse when Blaine told Kurt that he was going on a date with Rachel to the point where Kurt made a comment about bisexuality making Blaine compare him to Karofsky, someone who had threatened to take Kurt’s life. No way were those two the same things, not even close. But of course in the end, both boys apologized and Kurt went right back to staring at Blaine with heart eyes. And of course Sebastian was the one to comfort Kurt the whole time while he cried his heart out over someone who didn’t deserve him. Sebastian’s last straw was when they had performed “Animal” for their sister school and afterwards Blaine had said that Kurt’s dance moves made him look like he was having gas pains, ultimately calling Kurt un-sexy. Now when Kurt had come crying to Sebastian telling him what Blaine had said he was furious to say the least. Kurt was the sexiest person he knew, his dance moves were awesome and Blaine didn’t know the fuck what he was talking about and Sebastian wanted to give him a piece of his mind. And he would’ve if it wasn’t for Kurt, wanting to stand up and protect his crush.

And then the next week, Pavarotti had died and when Kurt had sung him a song, Blaine had figured out his love for the boy. Kurt had been his friend, had been open with his feelings for him and he finally felt that way about him back when Kurt had sung a song about a dead bird. Perfect way to start off a relationship. It only made things even worse when Blaine had chosen a break-up song for their duet. They sang their duet at Regionals and even though Kurt had done great (and in Sebastian's opinion, less could’ve been said about Blaine) they still lost but Kurt was as happy as ever.

And Sebastian should’ve been happy for him but he wasn’t. Because he was the one who had been there for Kurt the whole time and he was the one who had actually, truly loved him yet Kurt had eyes for no one except Blaine. And Kurt wasn’t the only one who was all over Blaine etheir. All but a handful of Warblers (him, Nick, Jeff, Thad, David, Wes and Trent) worshipped the ground that Blaine walked on and he was a respected member of Ohio because of his dad’s wealth. But then Sebastian had wealth and he could sing and was just as good looking and yet he was always second best to the “Golden Boy”. So maybe he was jealous of Blaine but Blaine was still an ass in his opinion and he didn’t deserve anyone like Kurt. He was just waiting for the day when Kurt realized that so Sebastian could have him. So Sebastian could be happy and could feel like someone actually wanted him, like he was worth something.

But Kurt was oblivious to his friend’s feelings for him and thought that Blaine was his only option. And now that that option was gone, Kurt thought that he was never going to find someone who loved him again. Then he realized that he had never found that person in the first place and that hurt him even more. Kurt eventually stopped his crying and got up to go to the bathroom so he could clean himself up some. He looked in his mirror and regretted his decision again because this time he looked worse. His face was no longer red, it was black and blue with some yellow and purple also. His pale, smooth, angel-like skin was now ruined with bruises and scrapes and blemishes and it was all Blaine’s fault. Or maybe it was all his fault, he still had mixed feelings about his role in Blaine’s attack. He sighed, running a hand on his face before opening his cabinet to get out a washcloth and his toothbrush. He washed off his face with cold water, waking himself up some more and wiping his tears and then brushing his teeth, the taste of mint making him nauseous. His head still hurt and he probably had a concussion, which was just something else to add to his list of “my life is completely going downhill and here’s why”. He rinsed his mouth out and contemplated on whether to throw up or not. His stomach hurt but he didn’t have the energy to get rid of his banana from the night before and he didn’t like the feeling. Might as well stall some more since it was eventually going to happen anyway.

He left the bathroom and made his bed before leaving his bedroom to go downstairs. He remembered falling asleep with Finn and Sam in his bed and wanted to see where they had gone off to. He didn’t like the idea of waking up alone when his brothers had previously been there with him even though he wasn’t really expecting them to stay with him until he woke up. He went downstairs into the dining room where he saw a nicely arranged table with breakfast items on it. He heard noise coming from the kitchen and went inside to see Sam and Finn yelling orders at one another. They hadn’t seemed to notice that he had entered the room so Kurt cleared his voice, causing the two of them to stop and turn their heads.

“Hey, Kurt,” Sam exclaimed. “You’re awake,” Kurt just nodded his head, feeling weird like he didn’t know where he was. He was confused but he didn’t know what he was confused about. He was confused about being confused.

“We made breakfast,” Finn said with a dopey smile. “There’s pancakes and eggs and fruit and bacon.” He said, listing the items that they had made.

“And Carol let us pick some flowers from her garden so we could put them on the table,” Sam added. “It’s all for you.” Kurt continued to stare.

“Are you feeling okay... better?” Finn asked, noticing the look on his brother’s face and instantly becoming concerned but Kurt continued to stare, looking straight ahead.

“Yeah, you’re kind of freaking us out, Kurt. Can you say something?” Sam asked him, wearing the same expression as Finn.

“Where’s Carol?” Kurt asked, shakily. He didn’t know what was happening but he was feeling ten times worse than he had been feeling which was saying a lot. He was getting dizzy and nothing was making any sense to him. He needed Carol or his dad.

“She went out to run some errands and to get your foot thingy,” Finn told him. “And Burt went to work. He said for us to look out for you. Why, what’s up?”

“Nothing,” Kurt lied but his body betrayed himself right then and there when he started to cry. “I’m fine I just need to go back to bed,” He said before breaking down into tears. It was as if he couldn’t control his emotions and Sam and Finn just stood there, shocked, having never seen Kurt in the state that he was in before. Kurt hugged himself and Finn and Sam finally acted, going over to Kurt and hugging him.

“Hey, don’t cry,” Sam told him. “It’s okay,”

“Kurt, what’s wrong? Why are you crying right now?” Finn asked.

“I just… I don’t feel good,” Kurt told them. “I want my dad,”

“Oh, okay. Well we can call him,” Finn offered but Kurt shook his head.

“No, it’s fine. I don’t want to worry or bother him while he’s working. I just need to go back to bed.” Kurt assured them, taking deep breaths in order to calm down.

“Are you sure?” Sam asked. “I’d think he’d want to know if you needed him,”

“I’m sure.., I’ll call Seb instead,” Kurt told them.

“Oh,” Finn said, “Okay, well do you want something to eat. We promise the food isn’t poisoned or anything.”

“I’m not hungry,” Kurt told them and he felt bad when he saw the boy’s face’s fall a bit. He didn’t want to disappoint them or make them feel bad, the gesture of making him breakfast was sweet but he didn’t feel like eating. “Maybe later,”

“That’s fine,” Finn said. “We’ll save you some,”

“Go back to bed and we’ll let Sebastian in for you when he gets here,” Sam added. “Do you want one of us to come with you? You know, so you aren’t alone.”

“No, it’s okay. I’ll be fine, all I’m going to do is fall asleep anyway.” Kurt assured them and with that he went back upstairs into his room and laid back down on his bed, letting himself sink into his mattress and comforter. He didn’t know what had just happened but he knew he didn’t like it. He didn’t have any control over himself or his emotions. If anything, Kurt needed control over himself, he needed consistency, something to rely on to know that things weren’t crashing and burning. But then again the lack of control was because his life had crashed and was now on fire.

He found his phone on his table next to his bed and looked at it for the first time since the time he had turned the ringer on it off. And it sure went to show because when he opened his notifications he saw what seemed to be a thousand text messages from all his friends. He went through each one of them, not responding but just reading them.

From Brittany

To Kurt: kurtie, where r u? finn said that u r missing and i need my 🦄 !!

From Santana

To Kurt: Lady Hummel, where are u? Finnigan is having a meltdown because he says you’re missing. Answer me now or else I’ll find you, dead or alive and you won’t be happy 🤬🤬

From Noah

To Kurt: Princess, where the fuck are you? Finn and Sam are freaking out and Blaine says you left his house and no one’s seen you since. Are you okay?

From Sebastian

To Kurt: Kurt what the fuck babe? Where are you? Don’t tell me you’re dead in a ditch somewhere. Text me back ASAP. Love ya 😘😘😘

From Jeff

To Kurt: Kurtie, are you okay? Your brothers are freaking out and no one has seen you around. Please don’t be dead. Call me when you can 😊😊

From Nick

To Kurt: Kurt, Jeff and Seb are freaking out, please tell me you’re ok and aren’t missing. We’re out looking for you right now 😬😬

From Rachel

To Kurt: Where are you? Everyone is so worried. Blaine’s crying because he thinks you’re dead or something. Call someone ASAP

From Mike

To Kurt: U ok dude? You’re freaking everyone out

From Mercedes

To Kurt: Boo, you better tell someone where the hell you are right now or else I’mma about to come find you myself and trust me I ain’t happy. But seriously Kurt, call someone for god’s sake, you don’t want to give your dad another heart attack. Love you 👄👄

From Tina

To Kurt: Finn and Blaine say that you’re missing. I know everyone else has probably texted you now but are you okay? Tell me if you need someone to pick up or something 🙂🙂

From Sam

To Kurt: Dude, your dad is flipping out and so am I. Where are you? Text me when you see this. Hope you’re okay

From Sebastian

To Kurt: Okay seriously what the hell? Where are you? Are you cheating with Blaine? It’s about goddamn time. Okay no jokes. You’re scaring me babe, please tell me that you’re okay!! 😭😭

From Finn

To Kurt: Bro, where are you? I’m so scared, why aren’t you answering anyone? Please tell someone where you are 😞😞😞

From Artie

To Kurt: Kurt, man where are you. I’ve got Mercedes, Santana and Finn yelling at me and telling me that you’re missing. We’re worried

From Quinn

To Kurt: Kurt hon, where are you? Everyone is worried sick and Mercedes and I are looking for you but we can’t find you. Please be alright 😇😇

From Sebastian

To Kurt: That’s it Kurt, I love you but it’s been an hour. WTF!!?? Answer someone for crying out loud. I’m fucking scared babe 😩😩

They were a bunch of other texts from Wes, Trent, David and the rest of the Warblers along with Mr. Schue and even for some weird reason Jesse St. James but Kurt couldn’t be bothered to read any more of them. He went to his call log to find hundreds of missed calls but he only called one person back.

He clicked on the contact information and called the number, waiting for the call to go through.

“Kurt, you better be alive or else I’m coming to bring your gay ass back from hell,” He heard Sebastian yell through the phone.

“It’s me Seb. I’m alive.” Kurt assured him and he heard Sebastian take a deep breath and say, “Thank fucking god,” before returning back to his phone.

“You scared the shit out of everyone last night. Finn called me and told me you showed up covered in blood and bruises. Who did that to you? I’ll beat their ass,”

“Seb, can you just come over?” Kurt asked, breaking Sebastian’s heart when he heard how scared and vulnerable Kurt sounded. “Please, it’s just easier to explain when…”

“I’m already on my way,” Sebastian said, cutting him off. “I’ll be there in like, twenty minutes. I’m bringing ice cream. And you have a lot of explaining to do babe.”

“Okay just, please hurry Seb,” Kurt begged, his voice breaking. “I’m so scared,”

“I will babe, I promise,” Sebastian assured him. “See you when I get there. And don’t be scared. You’re gonna be okay,”

Sebastian hung up and Kurt laid his head back on his pillow, the tears continuing to stream down his face. He was so exhausted and confused and just afraid. He had never felt this way before in his entire life, not when all the bullying occurred or when Karofsky threatened to kill him. He was shaken to the core and it probably had to do with the fact that he thought he could trust Blaine but he had hurt him. That now made it hard for him to trust anyone. He drifted off back to sleep, crying and hoping that Sebastian would arrive soon.

“Hey Finn,” Sebastian said, arriving at the Hummel-Hudson house. “Kurt’s here right?”

“Yeah he’s in his room,” Finn said, letting Sebastian in. “Just before you go, there’s somethings you should probably know.”

Sam joined them as Finn continued. “He’s in a really fragile state right now. He came down here this morning and burst into tears and we don’t really know why.”

“Just don’t freak him out Seb,” Sam added. “I don’t know how you would seeing that he loves you but take it slow and don’t yell.”

“Don’t pressure him,”

“Ask to touch him and don’t move around too much,”

“Try to get him to eat something,”

“And be nice,”

“You guys, chill out,” Sebastian told the boys. “I think I can handle it. I got him some ice cream and I just want to make sure he’s alright. I got this,”

“Fine,” Finn said. “Just follow our advice and don’t make him cry,”

“I won’t,” Sebastian assured before turning to go up to Kurt’s room. He knocked on the door and when he didn’t hear a response he slowly opened the door and walked inside.

“Kurt? Babe, are you here?” He asked and he saw something moving in Kurt’s bed and was happy to see that it was him. That was until he saw all the bruises on his face. Fuck staying calm, Sebastian was pissed off and wanted to beat the crap out of whoever hurt his friend.

“Oh my god,” He said, his eyes wide as he made his way over to Kurt’s bed. “You look terrible,”

“Gee thanks,” Kurt said, the sarcasm not present in his voice.

“You know what I mean. You’re still the hottest person I know, babe,” Sebastian assured the boy. “So I brought ice cream but do you want to eat it or put it on your face? Looks like it hurts,”

“It does, I’ll go with my face” Kurt said as Sebastian passed him the pint sized tub.

“So, are we going to pretend that nothing happened last night or…?”

“Seb, if I tell you what happened then you have to swear to me that you won’t tell anyone, okay?” Kurt told him. “I’m serious, Sam’s the only other person that knows and he promised not to tell anyone so you can too. Please?”

“I promise,” Sebastian said, kicking off his shoes and getting into bed with Kurt. “Spill it,”

“Okay,” Kurt said, taking a deep breath. “Don’t make me regret my decision,”

“I won’t,”

“It was Blaine,” Kurt said and was thankful that Sebastian was hiding his rage and anger. It was going to be so much easier if he just got it all out there before hearing Sebastian yell. “We were hanging out last night at his house and out of nowhere he just started yelling at me. He said that I spent too much time with you and Nick and Jeff and all the other guys and he accused me of cheating. He wanted to see my phone and even though I wasn’t cheating on him I still told him no because it was a violation of my privacy and then he got mad and he…” His voice broke and Sebastian started rubbing circles on his backs, already knowing what Blaine did and boiling with rage. He was so going to kick his ass. “... he hit me. He hit me in the eye and my jaw and in my stomach and he shoved me against his wall and I hit my head. Somehow my ankle snapped and when I got home Carol had to snap it back into place. They think I have a concussion and my wrist is messed up too. My stomach hurts and it’s all blue and he told me to leave once I told him he was hurting me. He said that he couldn’t believe that I came to his house and told him that he was acting irrational. He said he didn’t want to hurt me but that I hurt him first but he was just jealous. I didn’t see how it was fair to me to give him my phone so I didn’t and he hurt me. I thought I could trust him Seb but this wasn’t even the first time this happened, it was just the worst. He said he would call me but I told him not to and I broke up with him. I told him how I felt and that he wasn’t being fair to me and then I left. I didn’t know what to do and the thought of a million people asking me a million questions was overwhelming so I put my phone on silent and that’s why I didn’t answer anyone’s texts. I got home so late because Blaine had driven me to his house and I didn’t have a ride home. I didn’t want to deal with anyone or else I would’ve called someone to pick me up. It wouldn’t have even taken so long if it wasn’t for the fact that my ankle was dislocated and my body hurt like hell. Sam only knows that it was Blaine because he figured it out himself and confronted me but no one else knows and I’m just scared about what he’s going to do now. Like what if everyone takes his side? Sam and Finn already said they’re on my side but I’m not sure about everyone else and… I’m just so scared Seb,” He finished saying before bursting into tears and burrowing his face in Sebastian’s chest. “What if it’s like Karofsky all over again and he threatens to kill me? I don’t know what to do,”

“Is that all?” Sebastian asked, calmly.

“Yes, you can talk now,” Kurt told him.

“Okay well first of all I applaud you for breaking up with that dickwad. He just lost the best thing in the world. Second of all, I know you probably don’t want me to but I’m going to kick his ass once you stop crying. And trust me, he’s going to look much worse than you do when I’m done. No one beats up my best friend.”

“No Seb, you can’t,” Kurt cried, scared to death. “He’ll know that I told you and I don’t want anything else to do with him. I already told him to act like he didn’t know me and that he needs to stay away from me if he’s going to stay at McKinley. Sam and Finn already told me that they won’t let him anywhere near me but I just don’t want anything more to do with him.”

“Kurt, you can’t seriously be thinking about keeping this to yourself, babe,” Sebastian told him. “He abused you and from what you said, he seemed like multiple times. He deserves to be in jail.”

“Seb, please, you promised me you’d keep it a secret,”

“I know I did, fuck, you’re right,” He admitted. “It’s just, you can’t just tell me something like that and expect me to be okay and to not want to beat someone’s ass. Everyone was so worried about you, Jeff actually started crying when we went out to look for you. And now I figure out that you were missing because of Blaine, your supposingly, loving boyfriend. I knew he was no good. I knew it and I should’ve never let you sing that god awful duet or let you go out with him.”

“Seb, I’m a person you know,” Kurt said, lifting his head off of Sebastian’s chest. “I can make my own decisions and I can deal with their consequences. And that’s what I intend to do. Yes Blaine was wrong but… you know, who knows maybe I did do something wrong and he had every reason to do what he did,”

“Are you serious right now?” Sebastian asked him, getting pissed off. “I hope this is just because you hit your head and that you aren’t being fucking serious right now Kurt. How are you going to stand up for that asshole when he did this to you?”

“I’m just saying Seb. Maybe I really was in the wrong? I’ve just never seen him so angry about anything so maybe it… it was just me,” He finished saying, lowering his voice to a whisper.

“No, you know what Kurt, Sam and Finn told me to go easy on you because you’re in a quote on quote “vulnerable state” but you need to wake the fuck up, babe,” Sebastian said, jumping out of the bed and staring at Kurt while Kurt avoided his eye contact. “For two years I’ve been in love with you, alright. I’m your best friend, I’m the one who’s always there for you and for two years I’ve watched you as you followed Anderson around with heart eyes and then continued to give him heart eyes even though he treated you like you're a piece of garbage. He’s flirted with other guys right in front of you, barely even trying to hide it and you still choose him. And you still choose him after what he did to you. But here I am, I haven’t put myself in a relationship for two years because I have been waiting for the day when you would finally dump him and would choose me. But that’s never going to happen is it? What’s so great about him that you’d literally put yourself in an abusive relationship when you could have me? When you could have me and I would treat you the way you deserve to be treated? I remember when you used to come to me all the time last year, crying about how he didn’t love you, how he would’ve rather dated a girl than date you and how he said you weren't sexy and then I watched as you went off to date him and I held my tongue because you seemed happy but then again you seemed happy. You really weren’t and you know how I know? Because I love you. Because I know you and I know when you’re happy and I know when the smile is fake and I know when you aren’t being yourself. And you were being that way every single time you were around him. I love you Kurt, I love you and I’m not afraid to say it anymore but honestly…” His voice broke and he started to cry. “.. fuck I can’t do this anymore. I can’t sit around here while you fall for everyone else but me. It's just like how you felt about Blaine at Dalton last year, only you’re better than Blaine. But then again maybe you aren’t because you're doing the same thing that he did to you to me.” He stopped talking, out of breath. This was how he had felt for two years and he had always been there for Kurt. Now he needed Kurt to be there for him. He needed Kurt to realize that he deserved better, that he deserved him.

“I never loved him Seb,” Kurt whispered. “I thought I did but… I don’t even know what love feels like,”

“I’ll tell you what it feels like,” Sebastian said, sitting back down on the bed and taking Kurt’s hands. “It feels like you and me. I love you Kurt and I would do anything for you. And you love me too whether you realize it or not,”

“I don’t know,” Kurt said, shrugging his shoulders. “I don’t want to mess anything up. You’re my best friend, I don’t want you to realize how messed up I am,”

“I don’t care. I don’t care if you’re crazy or fucked up or anything Kurt. Just give me a chance, please,” Sebastian begged him. “I’d treat you like a fuckin princess babe, I’d give you anything,”

“No,” Kurt said a little too harshly, removing his hands from Sebastian’s. “I can’t. I don’t lov… I don’t feel… I just don’t know how I feel, Seb. I’m sorry,”

“Oh,” Sebastian said, the tears coming back to him. He softened his voice, disappointed. He was sure that Kurt loved him. That he was just hypnotized or manipulated by Blaine. But he was wrong. Kurt didn’t love him and it hurt. It hurt so much and he couldn’t take it. “That’s fine. It’s fine. Hey, look I just remembered that I have to go do something. Sorry I can’t stay around but… it’s not like you really need me anyway.”

“No Seb, wait,” Kurt said, realizing that he had hurt Sebastian. “I do need you, don’t leave. I’m sorry. You’re my friend, I just don’t know about anything. After everything with Blaine… I just need to think about things for a while. I still want you.”

“No, Kurt,” Sebastian said, getting off the bed again and putting his shoes back on. “That’s your problem. You’re so obsessed with Blaine, you always want his opinion and it's like you live your life for him but he hurt you. I didn’t and you still choose him. He did this to you,” Sebastian said, gesturing to Kurt’s face. “And yet you still care about him. It’s not fair to me and it’s not fair to you. I’m not going to stay around when I love you and you don’t love me back and you’re just going to run back into Anderson’s arms because it hurts. You don’t love me and the sooner I accept that, the sooner I can go back to my own life. Because I have spent way too much time on you and Blaine and not on myself and that ends now.”

“What are you saying Seb?” Kurt asked.

“I’m saying that I’m taking a break. I’m going to take some time for myself while I give you some space. Don’t call me or text me unless you absolutely need me and if you do anyway I’m going to ignore you. You’re obviously going through some shit right now and I don’t really think you need me around now that I told you how I feel and you don’t feel the same way. I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have told you all of this especially after what had happened but it’s better this way. And don’t try to change my mind either because I’ve already made it up. I just… I need some time and so do you.”

“Seb wait,” Kurt cried, once again not understanding what was happening. “Please don’t go, I need you,”

But Sebastian didn’t listen. “He grabbed his bag and headed towards the door. He took a dramatic pause before looking back at Kurt. Kurt seemed so broken and sad but so was Sebastian and he needed a break. “Goodbye Princess. Keep the ice cream.” And with that he rushed out the door and walked right past Finn and Sam, towards the door.

“Hey man,” He heard Finn say but ignored him. “Where are you going?”

“Home,” Sebastian replied shortly.

“Oh, are you okay? I thought that you would stay with Kurt for a while,” Sam said, concerned.

“Yeah, I’m fine. He’s the one who’s not.” Sebastian lied.

“Wait what? Seb what did you do man?” Finn asked.

“I did everything apparently,” Sebastian snapped. “Okay, because I love him and he doesn’t love me back. Get used to not seeing me around anymore because I told him I need a break. Sorry for not being gentle with him,”

And with that he rushed out the door, getting into his car and slamming the door shut. Finn and Sam just watched him as he drove off. He drove out of sight of Kurt’s house before parking on the side of the street, bursting into tears. What had he just done?

Kurt sat up in his bed trying to figure out what had happened.

Sebastian loved him.

He didn’t know whether he loved him back.

He didn’t even know what love really felt like.

He had thought he loved Blaine but he didn’t.

He had thought that Blaine loved him but he didn’t.

He didn’t want to mess anything up with Sebastian.

But he had anyway.

Is that all he did?

Just mess everything up with the people he cared about.

Because now Blaine was hitting him.

And his dad was acting weird.

And he had lost Sebastian, his best friend.

Should he even try to get him back?

Should he apologize or should he do what Sebastian wanted him to do and stay away?

God why was he such a screw-up, why did he ruin everything?

These thoughts bounced around his brain and no matter how hard Kurt tried to think of something else, he couldn’t get rid of them. This was how his day got worse. Sebastian was gone and it was all his fault. He had been right there this whole time and Kurt had been blinded by Blaine. Blaine had ruined everything for him. Wait, no it wasn’t Blaine’s fault, it was his. Or it was both of their faults. He had been a bad friend to him while Sebastian had been nothing but comforting and caring and now he blew everything.

He laid back in his body, hugging himself up in a ball and crying. Sobbing. He couldn’t breathe and once again, he had no control over himself. How does one’s life fall apart so quickly in less than twenty-four hours? How does one lose so much? Just his luck.

He drifted off back to sleep and didn’t hear when Sam knocked on his door. Sam, not having gotten a response from Kurt, opened the door and saw that Kurt was asleep. He noticed the tear stains on his face and contemplated waking him up to ask him what had gone down between him and Sebastian or letting him sleep. He decided to let him sleep, seeing that he was probably exhausted and that he would get upset if Sam woke him up. He would ask Kurt about it later and Sam only hoped that Kurt was going to be alright.

#glee #glee fanfiction #kurt hummel #sebastian smythe #kurtbastian #lol blaine #lol klaine #please read #and comment #and reblog #thank you #have a great day/night!

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thisisbis · 4 years

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Man, episode 17 had me on the edge of my seat yo...

Spoilers ahead...

So, like let me start off with saying I love that Jackson and Stirling are still together. I want to see more of them for sure. They're adorable. Lucy crashing their date and being an oblivious dork was so cute. I'm really glad he stood up for himself regarding that though. Go Jackson. Kinda sad we didn't get more of him... But it's all good, cause it was such a good episode.

Lopez is a queen. Done and done. That detective was being so out of line. I love that Lopez went for it too and got stopped by Jackson. It was brilliant.

Also, shout out to when the detective lady came back all like "I owe you an apology" and Lopez totally stood her ground and was like - yeah, whatever, sure. You were still a bitch tho.

The Harper and Nolan story line had me on the edge of my seat yo... The scene in the house had my heart going.

Also, I can't remember his name, but my mum thought the DEA guy was super hot.

I do love and appreciate how much Nolan just cares for people. Especially when he like deals with people all day every day, and well, people can be assholes 99% of the time. And it's just nice to see how much he just genuinely cares, no matter their background.

Grey buying Nolan a beer was soooooooooooo cute.

Chenford... Oh my goodness Chenford. They are so cute kay?

Emmett is hella fine. He appeared and mum and I were both like, well hot dayum.

I do think it's cool for Lucy to date someone before we FINALLY get Chenford together officially. Cause hopefully this means we get some more jealous Tim.

The "no!" with the finger point had me giggling.

Also, okay I may be overthinking... But I always feel like Tim gets a bit weird when talking about Rachel. This isn't the first time I've felt this too. And considering how we know Eric totally ships it, I'm wondering if this is Tim subconsciously thinking "I don't wanna talk about my current girlfriend with my future wife, like come on". Thoughts?

Nolan asking if they want coffee and Tim being all like "he's not going to a starbucks" was gold. Mum and I cracked up.

FINALLY Tim being honest about how he still feels guilty about Lucy getting abducted. Amen to that scene. It was so pure and I had so many feels. Lucy being the reassuring gal in his life, yet again, but helping herself in the process too.

Also "you can do better" - boi, stahp. You gots a crush on your boot. Just admit it, be done with it, get it on... And just let us Chenfordians be happy. (love/hate relationship with slow burn)

THE CAR CRASH MADE ME SCREAM AT THE TV OKAY?! Like, man, DONT DO THAT TO ME. A part of me was like... I S2G, if they hit me with that Chenford overload and then send one of them into a coma or something, I will flip ma shit.

But of course, and thank goodness, they were okay. And Emmett came back. Good lord, he is a fine looking guy.

I dont know if I've missed anything. But glad I can share with this cool fandom. 😎

Also also, side note, that girl scout knowing what to do and then asking if she's getting a badge was priceless.

#My thoughts on 2x17 #Mum and I watch the rookie #abc the rookie #the rookie #Chenford #tim bradford #lucy chen #tim x lucy #Tucy #Angela lopez #Jackson west #Nyla harper #John nolan #Wade grey #I love this show

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percyscourt · 4 years

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To All The Girls I've Loved Before / Percy Jackson AU

based more on the film version than the novel

Percy Jackson is a 16 year-old hopeless romantic with stormy eyes, a mischevious smile, and jet black hair that spills all over his eyes. He falls and hard, usually liking people for a long time. Instead of telling his crushes, though, he instead writes each a letter- letters he never even thinks once about sending. Each letter is addressed to each of his five (5) main crushes, equipped with why, when, and how he fell for each of them

letter #1: annabeth chase. annabeth chase was percy's first kiss back at a party in seventh grade. it was only for a second, due to a game of spin the bottle, but it was as if the world lit up to percy. in the letter, he reveals that even though annabeth was dating his then-bestfriend, Luke Castellan, percy continued to secretly like her for the rest of seventh grade and most of eighth. the one thing percy loved the most about annabeth was also the one he hated the most; everybody liked her, and it was impossible for him not to fall for her. in his eyes and the eyes of most, she was perfect.

letter #2: rachel elizabeth dare. rachel elizabeth dare was the first person percy liked after getting over his crush on annabeth. it all started on a rainy day when they had to put up the PE's gym bats. rachel was the only one who ever called percy PJ, and he secretly loved it. he also wished he had a nickname for her. their time together was short-lived though, because rachel moved away at the start of the summer after eighth grade. after she left, percy wrote the letter admitting that he wished something had happened between them, even saying he wish she never left.

letter #3: thalia grace. thalia grace was percy's date to homecoming in ninth grade. in his letter, he admitted that he fell for thalia due to her grace- no pun intended- and witty comments all while they danced. percy admitted the crush lasted a little while, and grew even bigger from their english class presentations because thalia just seemed so confident. he ended the letter with a question, what kind of boys did thalia like? was he one of them?

letter #4: calypso from camp. calypso and percy went to the same camp the summer after eighth grade. this romance was very short-lived and percy never even learned her last name. he started liking her after she showed him how to make a shell necklace during arts-and-crafts, but when camp ended, he wrote the letter then sort of forgot about her.

letter #5: silena beauregard. percy actually wrote on two different occasions for silena. after silena moved in the neighborhood when percy was going into sixth and she was going into seventh, her, percy, and percy's older brother, Charles "charlie", all became friends very quickly. the first part of the letter was written when charlie and silena started dating when percy was in ninth grade. percy admitted in the letter that he wished that him and silena got more alone time, despite her relationship with his brother. due to respect for his brother, though he never finished the letter. that is, until charlie broke up with silena right before leaving for college. percy finished the letter on another page, stating how the breakup made him realize that he still had unresolved feelings for silena left over. though again, he said nothing could ever happen between them because of charlie.

it was september of percy's high school junior year when the letters get out. charlie's away at college, leaving percy and tyson alone to fight amongst themselves. after a particularly bad fight, tyson sent out all the letters while percy was asleep.

the next monday, percy was running laps outside at pe when was approached by a very confused annabeth clutching her letter. percy, being as graceful as he is, fainted. when he woke up, not only was annabeth staring down at him, still confused, but silena was also walking towards him, her own letter in hand. so, he did the only thing he could think of- he reached for annabeth and kissed her. annabeth seemed surprised but still kissed him back, and the kiss lasted for what seemed like minutes to percy. when they finally broke apart silena is nowhere in sight. almost as quickly as percy kissed annabeth, he runs.

he runs all the way into school where he runs into thalia grace. "percy! thank gosh!" it takes all of percy's willpower to stop himself from fainting when he sees that thalia also is holding her letter. "uh, you know i'm aromantic, right? i mean, you're sweet, and i totally had fun at homecoming, but i don't-" percy's face turns a bright shade of red. "yeah, yeah, of course. it was a long time ago anyway. uh, can we talk later?" as soon as thalia nods, percy heads to his locker and leaves school, running like the devil was chasing him (percy put off taking his driving test due to the fact that his extreme ADHD made it really hard to concentrate on the road, so he mostly ran everywhere)

when he got home, he ran to his closet to see that all the letters had been sent. one good thing- his letter to calypso had been mailed back, as he didn't know her address. bad thing? everybody else's had sent, and he didn't know how to do damage control.

a little after his mother and brother got home, percy still was trying to figure out how the letters had gotten out. he was tearing apart his room for the fifth time when his mom called up to him; "Percy! Silena's here! Looks like she really wants to talk to you!" percy, of course, instead, hopped down the stairs of the fire escape and headed to his favorite diner, the Big House Diner

when he got there, he immediately asked for his regular order and waited. since he was too busy looking out the window, he didn't realize that somebody had sat down next to him. "Hey, Jackson." percy looked over to see annabeth not even three feet away from his spot at the bar. the waitress came over, asked for annabeth's order, and then left. in attempt to make things less awkward, percy asked annabeth what she was doing there. she was quiet for a while before admitting she had asked Tyson where she could find Percy. "Look, I just wanna be super clear." percy realized annabeth was trying to turn him down and quickly spoke up, "Annabeth, I'm not trying to date you."

after annabeth still kept going, percy explained the letters and then admitted he had only kissed annabeth because he saw silena coming. when annabeth just looked at him confused, percy told her how his brother was no longer dating silena but it would be super awkward if silena believed percy still liked her. "Wait, so. I'm not the only girl that got a letter? Damn, Jackson, you're a player"

Annabeth kept asking who percy sent the letters to, and he ended up telling her about all of them. Just as percy was about to leave, annabeth stopped him. "Did you...walk here?" moments later, percy was getting a ride home in annabeth's jeep. annabeth drove him home but neither of them said anything for awhile. finally, annabeth asked percy what he was going to do about silena, to which percy admitted he had no clue, but that he maybe still liked silena.

before percy got into his house, annabeth had gotten out of the car to stop him. "What if you didn't tell her? What if we let people think we were actually together?" annabeth explained how when luke heard about the kiss, he went ballistic, and how he'd want to get back together soon enough if he thought percy and annabeth were a thing. annabeth left him to think about her proposition, and percy was up almost all night thinking about it

the next day during free period, percy and annabeth met up on the outside benches. "first, if we're doing this, we need rules." "seriously, Jackson?" "Lists help me focus my thoughts."

Percy and Annabeth's rules: 'Annabeth will play with Percy's hair' 'Percy has to read at least one of Annabeth's favorite books' Annabeth has to watch Finding Nemo with Percy, because it's a classic' 'Annabeth will write Percy notes everday' Both people can never tell anybody the relationship is fake' 'Percy has to come to Annabeth's lacrosse games. And the parties.' Annabeth has to drive Percy and Tyson to school' 'Annabeth and Percy have to have better nicknames for each other than just their last names'

"You like the beach, right?" "Yeah, why?" "Then I'll call you Seaweed Brain." "I wish you wouldn't....Wise Girl"

And lastly, 'Percy must go on the school ski trip with me' Percy agreed, secretly thinking to himself that since it was three months away, they probably wouldn't still be doing this. but instead of saying that, he said, "Okay. Deal." both signed, then shook on it for extra measure

the next day, october 1st, their contract was put into motion. percy woke up, got ready for school, and sure enough, when he and tyson walked out of their house, there annabeth was, waiting to drive them in her jeep

as soon as they got into the car, annabeth turned to talk to tyson. "hey, little Percy, what's that?" "it's our mom's famous blue breakfast smoothie. and my name- thanks for asking- is Tyson. Ty to my friends. So, you can call me Tyson." Annabeth smiled, turned to Percy and said, "He's got spunk. I like him." tyson pretended not to hear but percy could tell he was pleased based on his small smile. he wasted no time, though, and immediately asked why the heck annabeth was driving them. "Well, I'm your brother's girlfriend." this response from annabeth came so suddenly that percy almost spit out all of his smoothie. "Can I try some of that, Tyson?" 'Sure' "Oh wow, that is really good. If I drive you guys to school again, will you get me another one of those?" "If you keep driving us to school, you can call me Ty."

as soon as percy and annabeth walked into school, percy knew that people knew. for one thing, when annabeth and percy walked to class together, people started saying his name, started noticing him. "Hey, Percy!" was like a chorus all around him- even from the principal, Mr. D- who had only ever called Percy "Peter" before

when percy and annabeth walked into lunch, annabeth threw her head back in a laugh, brought it down in between percy's shoulder and head, then reached up and played with his hair. she reached into her back pocket and pulled out a note. "This is for you." Annabeth reached up to kiss Percy's cheek and whispered in his ear a quiet "Good job" before breaking away from him, giving Percy a good view of Luke Castellan. And by good, Percy meant horrible. Luke managed to look equal parts bored and murderous at the same time, and Percy quickly made his way to the cafeteria for some water

right before he got into the doorway, percy was suddenly pulled back. "This Chase thing is fucking insane, Perc!" it was Grover Underwood, Percy's best friend since the beginning of middle school. grover never really talked to anybody at school, but instead preferred hanging out with college kids. he was probably the last person that percy thought would be excited over this. the rest of the day percy got equal reactions from everybody else, not to mention a lot of comments and compliments from random girls

when he got home, percy realized he hadn't called charlie or answered his calls in almost a week. it took him maybe two hours after getting home to work up the courage to call him. "Finally. I feel like we haven't talked in forever, so... lay everything on me." percy debated on how to start, before finally settling on first talking about literally anything and anybody else besides him, silena, or annabeth. "Mom and I are making her famous blue cookies for Ty's bake sale." "Bro, cookies? Nah, nah, you've got to do brownies. They're easier." percy was about to argue when charlie started on a different topic.

"So have you heard from Silena recently?"

of course, in regular percy fashion, he started rambling. "Silena? who? oh, like our neighbor? her? uh, well, no, we don't....I mean I- I'm going to go make the cookies. See ya!" quicker than charlie could reply bye, percy hung up.

he was in the middle of getting out ingredients when his doorbell rang. it was annabeth. "Did you not read my note? We're going to Clarisse's party tonight." percy opened his mouth just as his mom walked through the door. "Annabeth Chase? Oh, my, you grew up so beautifully! You're so tall now!" Sally Jackson pulled Annabeth into a quick, yet strong hug in welcoming. all it took was annabeth to mention the party for sally to not only tell percy he was going, but that she would bake the cookies for him, and that he couldn't be home before ten but also not after one. "Of course, no drugs! Other than that, please have fun."

before he knew it, percy found him and annabeth standing outside of Clarisse La Rue's house. just as Percy reached to pull his sweatshirt hood over his head, annabeth slapped his hand away. "what're you doing? your hair looks so much better when you don't have that hood over it. give it to me." after taking his sweatshirt, annabeth put it on herself. she took his phone, took a picture of herself, then set it as his lockscreen. for the finishing effect, she looped his arm around her shoulders and let him lead the way inside.

walking into the party was just as school had been; annabeth introduced percy to her friends, people said hi to him, etc. it took only about five minutes for luke to spot him, and when he did, he invited percy to sit. percy sat down on the couch where luke and the Stoll brothers were sitting together. "So, what's going on with you and Annie?" percy didn't even open his mouth before Connor and Travis were bombarding him with questions of how, when, everything. "Shut up, guys. It's not like they're ever gonna do anything. Annabeth has only been with me and...I bet Percy's never even kissed a girl before."

apparently he didn't care about percy's reaction, because luke suddenly left, and his spot was replaced by annabeth, holding a cup for both herself and percy. "Let's take a picture together- for my phone." percy stared at her dumbly for maybe ten seconds trying to figure out what to do. he finally settled on one of the most cliché poses he saw on insta- he kissed her cheek.

annabeth left to go talk to her team and suddenly percy was alone. just as fast as he was alone, he wasn't. suddenly thalia grace was there. "I guess your letter worked, huh? Don't worry, your secret's safe with me"

while percy and thalia talked, annabeth went to the bathroom. in perfect character, luke followed her in, and immediately started talking. "So Jackson, eh? That's cute. Oh! Is this his sweatshirt? Do you mind? It's chilly." Luke took the sweatshirt from where Annabeth had set it on the counter, but instead of wearing it, he tied it around his neck like a polo scarf. of course, annabeth asked for it back. "No, I think I'll keep it for awhile, okay Annie?"

annabeth found percy, and after saying goodbye to thalia, they headed over to the Big House Diner. as soon as they got there, annabeth praised and praised percy for his "excellence performance in making luke jealous." percy shrugged, but he could feel heat rising on his face. to add on to that heat, annabeth started talking about when they were kids. "you've always had better style than Luke, and i think it made him jealous. better hair, too." of course, all through dinner, annabeth's phone was blowing up- with texts from luke. "So you guys still talk, then?" percy knew how he sounded- jealous- but annabeth didn't comment on his tone. "Sometimes. Hey, don't judge!" "Don't call him tonight."

they spent the rest of the night talking about the love letters, why percy hadn't had a girlfriend yet, why annabeth was still hung up on luke, etc. after dinner, annabeth drove percy home, reminding him to be ready the next morning for school. percy got ready for bed after responding to Annabeth's new instagram post of them, but stayed awake for a long time. when he finally did fall asleep, he went to bed with a smile on his face

by november, they had the fake dating thing down pact. percy would eat with annabeth's lacrosse team at lunch and bring them some of his mom's baked goods, percy and annabeth would call each other nicknames, etc. percy had to admit it was a nice change of pace, but he still caught himself feeling a little bit lost sometimes. especially when he started noticing silena staring across the cafeteria at him everyday

it was maybe the fifth week of percy and annabeth's relationship when silena showed up at percy's door wanting to talk. "I can't believe you're dating Annabeth." percy let silena rant about this "unlikely relationship" before cutting her off to ask if there was anything else. "Did you mean everything...in the letter?" "I don't know, okay? It was a long time ago." "So what am I supposed to do? I'm not going to tell Charlie or anything; he doesn't even talk to me anymore. Gosh, are we not even friends anymore Percy?" "I'm sorry, Silena. We can't talk right now."

percy forced himself to stop thinking about silena, and instead put all his effort into his relationship with annabeth. the only problem? percy was worried about the endgame. his mom and tyson were both so attached to annabeth at that point that percy couldn't imagine how they'd react when their thing stopped. it wasn't just his family he was worried about, either. he had had multiple family dinners at the Chase house, and he found that he actually enjoyed them

not only were their families getting closer, percy realized that so were he and annabeth. sometimes when they talked, their relationship seemed so scarily real that he couldn't breathe. they would talk about how percy's dad had passed away, how annabeth had run away from home and had an absent mother, everything.

percy, instead of talking to annabeth, turned to silena instead. he talked about how he felt himself falling for annabeth, for real, and silena listened to everything he had to say without any input. of course, annabeth hated the fact they still talked, maybe just as much as percy hated seeing luke and annabeth talk

Percy became so worried that he was falling for annabeth that all he wanted to do was call the whole thing off. "You know, maybe we should just call it." "Not before the ski trip, Seaweed Brain!" "Fine. I'll go. But only if Grover comes with."

Percy asked Grover, assuming he would say no, then almost killed him when he answered yes. percy spent the weeks leading up to the trip split between packing and worrying. on the way there, he sat with grover and slept the entire time. when they got there, he not so subtlety ignored and evaded annabeth's attempts to hang out together. him and grover ended up rooming together, and when grover went out, percy invited thalia over to their room to talk. he told her all about annabeth, the letters, the fake relationship, the maybe real feelings, everything. of course, thalia told him to do something, anything. "She obviously likes you, you know."

before he could talk himself out of it, percy had put on a jersey over his boxes. he headed down to the hot tub where thalia said annabeth would probably be waiting. sure enough, when percy got there, annabeth was all alone. "Now you want to hang out? I wanted to sit next to you on the bus Percy, and you ignored me, you know." it took percy a solid two minutes to realize what annabeth was trying to get at. before he could second guess it, he was in the hot tub, and then he was only an inch away from annabeth's face. and then they were kissing. and then percy slipped, dragging annabeth under with him. but they were still kissing, and all percy could think was that this had to be the best underwater kiss of all time

after the hot tub, percy walked annabeth back to her room and they kissed goodnight. for the rest of the ski trip, they were like this- affectionate, happy, and real. the morning they were leaving, percy, as always, was late- the very last on the bus. when he finally got on the bus, it erupted in cheers. "Jackson, you dog!" people reached over to slap his back and shoulders as he made his way to sit by annabeth. he thought about asking annabeth about it, but no sooner than he sat down had she started using his shoulder as a pillow, so he decided to forget about it.

when they got back to school, luke stopped percy before he could leave. "It's so cool that you came on the ski trip, you know? Almost as cool as how understanding you are about Annie and I's friendship. Like, a lot of boys would be a little mad that their girlfriend slept in another guy's room, but you're just really mature I guess. Oh! And it's sweet how you're okay with Annie still giving me gifts, like this sweatshirt here. Anyway, have a great break, Jackson."

when Annabeth came over to drive percy home, he told her he'd rather walk instead. he headed home in the fifty degree weather, and had only been walking a minute before he broke into a full sprint. when percy got home, he was so distracted that he didn't see tyson in the living room. as always, tyson tackled him before he could even say hi. then, just as he broke away, suddenly charlie was there, hugging both of them. it was so good to have both his brothers there with him that percy almost forgot about annabeth. almost.

it was an hour before dinner when annabeth showed up, voice loud and eyes watering. "Nothing happened between me and Luke that night, okay? We have history, he was sad, I helped him, but nothing happened Percy."

percy could barely listen and had barely gotten a word in when a third voice stepped in. "Maybe you should leave, Annabeth." Silena stood next to Percy, back straight and protective. "This is why you want to break up? Not because of Luke and I, but her? Are you seriously in love with this...Kardashian wannabe?!" suddenly, there was a fourth voice. "You're in love with Silena?" "Charlie, c'mon man, wait! Both of you need to leave. Now" "You were never second best, Percy. I promise."

just as percy went to go talk to charlie, his phone rang. somebody had sent him a video- of him and annabeth in the hot tub. 'It's always the geeky guys that try to act hard, isn't it?' percy threw his phone and stayed in his room for almost two days straight. when he finally left, he went down the hall to charlie's room.

"I'm so stupid" percy and charlie talked about everything, the letters, the video, silena, annabeth; and by the third hour of talking, percy and charlie were no longer fighting, just catching up

"Let's not have anymore secrets between the Jackson brothers now, okay?" Tyson said as soon as he saw they had made up. "That includes me. I sent the letters, okay? I'm sorry." Percy smiled for only a minute before moving to attack Tyson with Charlie's punching glove. "If I can forgive you for writing Silena a letter, don't you think you can forgive Ty for sending them?" he hated it, but Percy couldn't argue with that logic, and he forgave tyson fast.

fast forward to new year's, and percy still hadn't talked to annabeth. instead, he spent most days at the community indoor pool, all day. it got so bad that one time his mom picked him up an hour earlier than usual. "Come on, let's go for a drive, alright?" after percy got dressed in sweats, his mom took him to the Big House. "Your father and I used to dance here, you know, using the jukebox." percy stayed quiet; his mother never talked about his father anymore, not ever since he was confirmed dead at sea. his mom used this silence to her advantage and continued to talking, but switched to a different topic. "Seeing you with Annabeth was really...good. For all of us, I think. You guys seem to really like each other."

when percy got back to school, the video had been taken down. of course, there was a photo on his locker of them. 'Told her not to trust him. I bet he slipped her something. She would never get into a hottub with him out of her own free-will.' while percy stared at the message, grover ripped it down, and suddenly annabeth was there, screaming. "Hey! It was my choice to get in that hottub. If you want to shame, shame me, but leave Percy out of it, because he didn't do anything wrong to me, okay? He's probably the nicest guy here and you're all just asshats that can't see it"

after her speech, annabeth headed over to percy. "I'm sorry." "I've got to talk to somebody else, first, Annabeth." Percy looked all around school until he found who he was looking for. "Seriously, Luke? What the hell's your problem, man?" "You, Percy. You have been since you kissed my girlfriend in seventh grade. You broke the bro code first, remember?" percy couldn't believe that luke cared about that kiss, maybe more so than percy had when he wrote annabeth her letter. percy suddenly wasn't mad at luke, he was....sorry? for him. he couldn't explain it, but it didn't seem worth fighting over anymore. percy stepped back from luke and let him leave.

after school, percy invited silena over. "You were the first girl I ever truly liked, but I didn't realize until you started dating Charlie. But, over time...that feeling faded away. And, I guess, I'm trying to say...I miss you. But not in a romantic qay, just as a best friend." "Well, duh! I miss my best friend too, Perc. Obviously, I'm not a big fan of your little miss perfect, but I like how she stood up for you. It takes a lot for girls to stand up in that way, especially since that video could wreck a future scholarship for her. maybe you should tell her you miss her" "What if it isn't as real to her as it is to me?"

percy and silena sat in silence for a while before tyson came downstairs with a cookie jar. it was the one percy tried to throw away- the one full of annabeth's notes to him. percy spent the next twenty minutes reading all the letters before he made up his mind.

percy got in his mom's car, drove all the way to school, and rushed across the field. annabeth, fresh off practice, stood in the middle, watching percy come to her. "I drove here." "Really?" "Yep. Okay, bye now." "Wait, Percy, wait. what's in your hand?" percy turned to leave, but annabeth grabbed his wrist. "Read me the letter, Percy."

percy opened the letter and closed it almost immediately, looking into annabeth's eyes instead. "I need you to know that I like you, Annabeth Chase, and not in a fake way." percy held his breath and got ready to hear bad news. instead, annabeth said, "Well, I'm in love with you, Seaweed Brain. Now, are you going to break my heart, or are you going to kiss me?"

"I'm never letting go of you again, you know that, Wise Girl?" "I know."

they kissed, and percy couldn't help but be happy that the letters had gotten out. after all, he knew that him and annabeth probably wouldn't be together without them.

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nightshade-zoe · 5 years

Text

AWAE 3x06 Commentary

Matthew’s Radish ❤️❤️

Anne has a cold and she’s baking a cake. . .uh oh (for context in the books she tries to bake a cake for the minister’s wife at tea but she puts liniment flavoring instead of vanilla because of a cold).

Wow her hair is so glossy and the loose braids are 😘

Is Matthew going to have a heart attack ....oh no

Holy **** that radish is huge

She smashed the vanilla and yes they’re definitely going the book storyline.

No Anne please ask someone to smell the bottle 😣

I live for Bash sass.

Okay so I’m like a little bit whiplashed here. Last episode we saw Gilbert just suggesting winnie visit. How have they been communicating? Have they been on that many tea dates? It seems like they only saw each other four or five times after their first “date”. But I guess it’s been two months since then.

“But your mother wasn’t skittish” I’m dead.

No he hasn’t settled on Winnie. Does this mean Bash knows about Anne? She’s “easy to be with” okay I guess it makes sense Gilbert is stressed about constantly feeling things for Anne.

“Fond enough to marry her?” Bash literally slipped that in because Gilbert was talking about marriage last week.

“Winifred doesn’t have such expectations” dude you’re meeting her parents in the 1890s of course she does.

Gilbert you literally were considering marriage last week.

Josie doesn’t want to create a scandal yet her mother seems to be pushing her to it??

Anne crying over Mary my heart it can’t ❤️❤️❤️

Poor Anne is so flustered because she wants to not look like a mess in front of her crush. So relatable.

Gilbert, do you see any onions???

It’s interesting they showed this scene between Gilbert and Matthew when we barely have their interactions. Gilbert is denying it’s a special occasion when we’ve just seen him freaking out about his appearance.

The framing of Anne by the window is gorgeous. Also this episode seems designed the humiliate Anne every way possible.

Why is she sneaking out to go to Diana’s??

She’s going to confess to Diana isn’t she. This seems like really fast development for Anne who has recently been like I am the Bride of Adventure.

Yikes Minnie May overhearing this and finding Jerry’s gift.

I think it’s interesting and important (because even though I’m sure this episode will be painful) Anne’s crush is very much romanticized and infatuated. While I’m unsure about her realizing her feelings this early, the comparison to Mr. Darcy, the reference to novels seems in character even if the fact it’s Gilbert is sudden.

Can someone make a gif set of all the Cuthberts straightening up in front of a mirror.

Wow Anne really jumped to daisies. I definitely feel like they’re trying to do the whole dramatic teenager I LOVE THIS BOY AND WANT TO SPEND MY LIFE WITH HIM angst rather than set up her real love for him yet.

THE FOAL IS SO CUTE ❤️

Dellie and Bash ❤️ also oh my goodness he was knitting yellow socks for her.

Noooo Gilbert don’t belittle yourself. You’re an orphan and are incredible. Anne’s an orphan and she is too.

“can’t cook”.

How has Anne recovered from her cold this fast also?

They’re definitely going up in the hot air balloon.

Subtle reminder Ka’kwet is still in hell and we need to get her out.

There’s a stiltswalker. I literally wrote that into my fanfic.

I’m so scared about this cake but at least it will look beautiful.

Wow Rachel not making me mad for once ❤️

What is this ear pulling Matthew?

Also omg the white grub reference I can’t get over the throwback.

The fortuneteller and the smoke haha. I feel like this Anne would have more sense than to believe in fortune telling though?? I agree the daisy was more helpful but this is clearly just meant to amplify Anne’s infatuation.

It’s interesting that they spent so much time on how the fortune teller is clearly a fraud.

Diana please pay attention to and comfort Anne.

Aghhh I clowned myself I was right Diana was leaving because of something related to Jerry’s family but also they made Anne look this devastated over Winnie.

Also ugh it’s such a trope to have her see Gilbert help Winnie when she stumbles.

But also the handkerchief book signaling Derry thing was so well done.

The Rachel/Stacy development has been interesting also wow the shooting.

It’s interesting we have Prissy who is super feminist and advanced, Billy who’s a sexist pig, and Jane who is still figuring things out.

Wait so Mrs. Barry and Winnie are the only two people I’ve seen with parasols. I’m guessing it’s a status symbol? Something only rich people carry?

I hope Minnie May has her own storyline. She does reappear in a later episode.

DIANA A QUEEN I LOVE I SCREAMED. THEY KISSED.

But I feel like we definitely will see some sort of rift/problem given how fast this has been accelerating.

Also the musical theme for them (which also played during the scene by Diana’s house where Jerry quotes Frankenstein) is so so beautiful

No, Anne don’t go back to the fortuneteller.

Why is Gilbert so condescending about Queens? Also he’s not admitting that the Sorbonne is a dream because of money. Instead it’s the impression he thinks he won’t get in.

I’m learning so much about Winifred’s dad and yet I still know nothing about her. I hate when characters are so one dimensional.

“Can we PLEASE just enjoy the day” paralleling Gilbert earlier saying he’s just going to try and enjoy the day

What is this ear pulling thing we have now seen Matthew, Jack, Thomas Lynde, and Nigel Rose do.

Why do Gilbert and Mr. Rose pronounce Sorbonne so differently?

Couple points on Winnie. She seems to represent the part of Gilbert that was never content with the small town life and now also the part of him that is tired of fighting with Anne. So she really has been boiled down to whether he will choose an easy life with connections but no fire or Anne who makes his life incredibly complicated but extremely lovely.

Also it was interesting that they again paralleled Winnie stumbling with Josie stumbling earlier this season. (Post episode addendum her Mr. Bones scene weirdly foreshadowed Josie’s situation)

I swear Gilbert just visibly hesitated to introduce them to Bash. Also they really are making them out to be the perfect family which rings the alarm bells that either they are not or all they’re meant to do is be a foil for Gilbert’s current life/affections.

Okay it seems really extreme to have Anne call Gilbert her true love. Like I get they are trying to emulate teenagers but Anne is not like this and we already did this with Ruby.

“I want to believe you that it was true that someone could look at me that way. I never even dared to hope before” this hurts so much because we have seen how much Gilbert adores Anne. But also it hurts because Anne has just been able to accept family love and shes been told her whole life no one will ever want her. I’m crying.

But also I think it’s very important that this is a very idealized crush and is definitely emulating teenage fancies and the real realization from Anne will be much different.

I love all the eye/I puns and how this fortune teller goes against herself and decides to comfort Anne because Anne is just endearing like that. I think we’re supposed to simultaneously feel Anne’s pain while also being amused at the melodrama

Oh no they’re really doing this with the cakes.

Your schoolmate Gilbert? Really??? At least say she’s a friend.

I know they’re trying to make Winnie seem really nice but it’s strange she asks how Anne spells her name. It’s like it’s meant to add more weight to the visual way in which we see Anne comparing herself to Winnie.

Bash is so amused by the Winifred Anne meeting. I guess it’s also important Gilbert has told Bash about Winnie but still keeps his feelings for Anne a secret (even though they aren’t)

This cake thing bothers me so much. There was no need to take a relatively funny book scene, humiliate Anne in front of a large group of people and add to the already massive embarrassment she feels by having Gilbert and Winifred both be there. This episode just really was out to get Anne

Hmm so I think it’s definitely telling that Gilbert’s automatic instinct was to run after Anne to comfort her and he definitely looks upset when she runs off but I also don’t think he was super helpful. He clearly doesn’t get why she’s upset and also Mary would’ve been more likely to run after Anne and console her. I miss Mary.

Anne no ❤️ she’s hiding under the exhibit she was looking at with such wonder earlier.

Really? They couldn’t even let Matthew win. This is an adorable adorable scene between them though.

Matthew, Marilla how do neither of you realize Anne is upset because Gilbert is walking around with a super high class, beautiful girl.

The music when they get into the balloon is the same as Anne visiting Ka’kwet the first time + Gilbert taking the flower + Derry walking home the first time = new adventures?

Marilla on point “we are literally going to hell in a hand basket” “before I die, fly”

Yes Anne embracing her uniqueness ❤️

This is the most beautiful and joyous scene this episode and the music is excellent (ive definitely heard it’s before but I don’t remember which episodes). Well it plays when Marilla and Rachel head off to the oculist and Marilla tells Anne not to get into trouble

It’s beautiful seeing how Matthew and Marilla have grown due to Anne. This balloon ride is like symbolic of their relationship.

Passing over the first part of the dance scene which is clearly just an inverted love triangle from the last episode . .though Gilbert does look over at Anne after the dance ends...he also looks uncomfortable in certain shots with Winnie

I guess also “Seems like you’ve done this before” “I can’t hear you” parallels the first tea scene a bit.

I’m frustrated Ruby is basically the exact same just with a different boy who I guess at least shows interest in her

Also Anne dancing with Charlie >.<

It’s really effective that the scene with Billy and Josie is outside in the dark compared to the bright barn but also that you can hear the dance music and it seems garish and grotesque. Also FUCK BILLY ANDREWS.

Props to Anne for noticing something is off :-/

They do a good job portraying how rumors are spread fast and also twisted because it goes to people saying they saw billy and Josie

Hit him Anne HIT HIM . . .okay I guess I’m satisfied with yelling. Also I would like to point out everyone else looks shocked and confused.

I guess I understand why the other girls don’t get it given their different experiences but SIGHS. Also Diana constantly freaking out about Jerry when no one knows what she’s talking about

No Gilbert this is important

Okay but Anne’s references. Whose CABBAGE IS BIGGER. You don’t need a CRYSTAL BALL. Clearly salty about the fortuneteller and Matthew’s loss.

Oof she’s clearly jealous but also angry for her friend and I get that Gilbert doesn’t like being yelled at but also for him to just shake his head as if this is a normal Anne tantrum

Peep Gilbert looking back at Anne twice

Moody the mediator. I like the effect of everyone’s voices blurring together and fading

YES ANNE ACTIVIST WRITING but also im so scared about the potential backlash. I really hope they treat this story carefully because I’m so worried about Josie and Anne now and so so mad at Billy

#awae spoilers #anne with an e spoilers #anne with an e #awae #anne shirley cuthbert

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miasswier · 4 years

Text

miasswier’s ultimate glee ranking: no 12

12: Sadie Hawkins

Written by: Ross Maxwell Directed by: Bradley Buecker

Overall Thoughts: I fucking love this episode. It’s hilarious, and works incredibly to show off Glee’s ensemble nature. Kurt and Blaine both get big storylines, there’s all these random flashbacks, and just… I don’t even know. This is just straight up a fun episode, and I absolutely love it.

What I Like:

This episode is so goddamn funny. I could quote about a thousand things, but my absolute favourites are:

“We’re like the Fuji’s, jumping from classroom to classroom.” “Wait. You mean like the refugees?”

“Ever since I dated Puckerman nobody will ask me to a dance.” “I think everyone just assumes you have herpes”

“Who do you think she’s asking?” “The only obvious choice in the room. The charming, debonair figure from her past. The forbidden love she let slip through her fingers.” “Unique? Really?”

“I know how to spell: leave my brother A-L-O-N”

“DID YOU NOT HEAR ME?! LET’S GO!”

“Have you ever heard of spell check?” “No.”

“I freaking hate Splenda! It tastes like pencils! WHY are you putting PENCILS IN MY LATTE?”

“WHAT you’re not talking about GAY BLAINE?”

Blaine having NO FUCKING CLUE that Tina was going to ask him even though she was being SO FUCKING OBVIOUS my son.

Joey Richter in the Adam’s Apples!!!!!

Adam being so enamoured with Kurt. The way he says “Your winter showcase performance was breathtaking” always blows me away. I always love it when they let Kurt be appreciated and loved, especially by boys (especially Blaine, but this is also good)

The fact that Adam basically auditions his showchoir for Kurt instead of asking Kurt to audition for his showchoir.

LAUREN ZIZES IS BACK. Getting rid of her was the worst mistake this show ever made I don’t know why they did that.

Honestly, I think they did a really good job presenting both Tina and Blaine’s crushes. They made them really sweet and moving, and just cute and super high school.

I’m with Blaine – I really do love Tina’s empowered attitude!

Rachel being so adorably supportive of Kurt and wanting him to get out there and date and be happy.

Kurt is such a little shit the way he pretends to tie his shoe until Adam notices him he’s so cute. Also, his adorable smile when Adam says yes to the date makes my life.

The way Marley screams, “JAKE” after “Tell Him”.

Speaking of Marley, this is one of the few (maybe even the only) episode of the season where she actually has like, agency in regards to who she’ll date. She makes a conscious choice to ask Jake to the dance, and then she admits that she’s aware that she’s naïve in liking him and puts all her cards on the table. I like it. It’s one of the only season four episodes in which I actually enjoy Marley’s storyline.

Blaine’s face when Sam starts going on about stars who have done steroids (all of which I’m pretty sure have never done steroids)

There’s something about the flow of this episode that is so enjoyable to me. Like, the way it has all the flashbacks and stuff. I don’t know. I just like the way it flows.

I just love the contrast at the end of Tina dancing with Blaine and being so happy, while Blaine stares longingly at Sam. It’s too much for me.

Kitty finally gets a scene where she is likeable! The scene with her and Puck at the dance is the first step in her redemption arc, and the first time you see her actually being nice. That being said…

What I Don’t Like:

That scene is riddled with antisemitism, and is creepy as fuck considering Kitty is a Sophomore and Puck is an adult. This entire storyline has always seemed creepy to me, but add what we now know about Mark Salling… Ugh. It makes me so fucking uncomfortable (and angry. Let’s not forget angry).

That Brody and Rachel scene at the end makes me roll my eyes so hard. It starts off so awesome, with Rachel actually standing up for herself and drawing attention to the fact that she literally will take anything she can get when it comes to romance, but then Brody says two semi-nice things and suddenly she’s over it and asking him to move in like WHAT. Rachel, you literally just did what you were complaining about always doing.

The fact that the only “empowering” thing they could come up with for the girls to do was ask guys to a dance like, come on.

I’ve always felt a little uncomfortable with the way that Blaine’s past traumatic experience at a Sadie Hawkins dance was totally sidestepped in favour of his crush on Sam. It could have been so interesting to delve into that, but nah.

Songs:

I Don’t Know How to Love Him: I like the intercut scenes of Blaine and Tina more than the actual song, which is too bad, because Tina so rarely gets solos.

Baby Got Back: I have to assume that all the people in this club are like, carpentry and stage combat or whatever majors, because I refuse to believe that any of them got into NYADA for musical theater while Jesse and Elliott didn’t. I refuse.

Tell Him: This song would be more interesting if it wasn’t just another choir room (class room?) performance.

No Scrubs: Probably the only song in this episode that I actively enjoy and go out of my way to listen to. Just fun and good.

Locked Out of Heaven: Marley and Unique obviously sound amazing, but it’s always felt like an odd choice to me to have Marley singing about how “your sex takes me to paradise” literally minutes after telling Jake she wants to take things slow. Also, I kind of wish this had been more of an actual group number instead of just a duet.

I Only Have Eyes for You: It’s not a bad song, and I like all the scenes intercut with it (except for Brochel), but it’s also kind of like, really, we’re shoving some Ryder angst in here at the end? We’d avoided it so nicely for the entire episode.

Final Thoughts: This is one of the episodes I’ve seen the most. We get Kurt and Blaine storylines, and a Tina storyline, and Marley gets some agency, and Kitty actually acts like a human teenager for once. It’s really too bad they shoved the Puck/Kitty stuff in here, because everything else that I don’t like is at least palatable. But that… ugh. It’s always brought the episode down for me, but now it’s just uber awful. Still, I can’t deny that this is one of my all-time favourite episodes of Glee. I’ve watched it a thousand times, and I’ll probably watch it a thousand times more.

#ultimate glee ranking #mark salling cw

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alwaysahiccupandastrid · 4 years

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May I ask why you're so against rachel bilson? It's just that I know absolutely nothing about her and from and outsider persepctive she seems like a regularly nice person

Hi, yes! I apologize in advance, this is super long I’m afraid!

So first of all, I want to make it VERY clear that I don’t endorse sending hate to people, even if you despise them, and I am not intending to spam any social media she may have with hate because that’s simply inexcusable.

So here’s the thing: the whole thing just personally leaves a bad taste in my mouth because they had a sex scene years ago in a film that was directed by Bill’s ex-wife, Maggie Carey. It just really weirds me out because that was several years ago, and obviously I don’t know Maggie beyond the fact she’s a director and was married to Bill, but if I were her I’d be more than a little pissed off because I’d be wondering if my husband had been seeing this woman the entire time. I don’t think Bill is the type but I frankly don’t know him personally and who knows? It just seems a little tasteless in a way, but hey whatever.

Firstly, in literally every photo I’ve seen of them together - grocery shopping, golden globes etc, - they both look like they’d rather be anywhere else. Especially tonight, you can see in videos when they turn away from the cameras, their smiles vanish and they look (for lack of a better description) kind of constipated. I know Bill has bad anxiety so that could be part of the reason, I don’t know. But it looks like they’re not even trying - he smiled much more genuinely when with his ex. You can tell when someone is half assing their smile and when it’s genuine, especially in their eyes or the way they’re smiling.

I’ve been having a twitter conversation with someone, they messaged me wanting to talk about the whole thing, and I’ve been discussing it with them for a few days now. Disclaimer here that I already knew this person because I spoke to them about a month or so ago because their friend met PJ at a comic con and she (the twitter girl) was talking about it, so we already knew of each other before this whole ordeal. Recently, however, they’ve been telling me stuff and showing me tweets/photos/stuff about R*chel and, hey, maybe I’m only seeing what they want me to see? Who knows? I’m not saying my impression that I have of her is the correct one, just my own personal impression thus far.

The first thing we noticed was the sheer amount of paparazzi photos and news stories. I have never seen someone be photographed so damn often while out shopping - so far in the last week alone, RB has been papped near enough every day. No one gets papped that often by accident. The person I spoke with on twitter informed me that it’s always the same people (backgrid) and that she’s probably calling them herself. Not even the kids from Stranger Things/Harry Potter get photographed this much, and they are WAY more famous and in demand than her*. This week alone it’s been grocery shopping (w/ Bill), then going out to lunch with her friends, then shopping for furnishings, and THEN lunch with her mother. All in the same week. This isn’t just a her thing, it’s in general, but no one cares if actors are shopping for shit or going out to lunch with their mothers, it’s really not exciting or interesting. So yeah, there seems to be some question as to whether or not she’s phoning the paparazzi herself.

*I had literally never heard of her before being a fan of Bill so... 🤷🏼‍♀️ She’s definitely not as famous as the ST kids are right now

Also, it’s interesting that in the eleven years he was married to Maggie, and in even the last few years where he’s really started to pick up career wise, he has hardly been photographed by paparazzi in public. The only time I can think of is when he was filming IT Chapter 2 and that was because it’s a major film and they were shooting outside in costume. There could be more but I doubt there’s loads going around. So yeah, I find it kinda questionable that only now is he getting papped this regularly.

Not only do I think calling the paparazzi on yourself is vain and straight up thirsty for attention, but if that IS the case (and I’m not saying it is), it’s incredibly disgusting to do that whilst out with someone who has REALLY bad panic attacks and social anxiety. You can see it in his face that he’s pissed off and annoyed about it.

This person I spoke with also made some remarks regarding both of their kids with other people. Apparently the only time RB ever goes out with her kid is to get them photographed with her or something, and that she’s literally never with her daughter. This could be bullshit for all I know. I haven’t really researched her daughter because, frankly, that would be creepy and I also don’t really care about her enough to give a shit.

We know that Bill has 3 daughters, and it just strikes me as odd that he made a big fuss about how he only saw them 5 days in summer of 2018 (due to Barry and IT filming) and how he was crying over it, and “I’m going to spend more time with my kids 😭” but then...you get a girlfriend instead? And you spend time with them instead? And even when I first read the interview where he said about missing his kids, like...dude, come on. That’s your own fault, no one is making you stay away from the kids, you and your wife have joint custody. In comparison also to RB, who’s kid is seemingly papped quite a bit with her, I’ve literally seen maybe two or three occasions where one of Bill’s kids have been papped, like that’s it. And that’s how it should be frankly.

Back to the person I spoke with, they have a friend in Tulsa who was there around the time the two were spotted at Starbucks together, and here’s apparently the tea: Bill apparently got coffee alone quite a few times, she arrived in Tulsa, they got coffee, and then she left Tulsa after like a day. This person’s friend said that they weren’t holding hands, and they barely even looked at each other the whole time. This is a kind of “her friend’s brother’s wife’s cousin” thing and could be false, however. And I honestly think that if you’ve got 3 kids and you make a HUGE fuss over not getting to see them because of YOUR work schedule, then you should be spending Christmas with them and NOT with your new side chick. The same goes for RB - if she was in Tulsa over Christmas, why was she not with her own kid?

There’s a whole kettle of accusations that could or could not be true about both of them frankly; she’s using him to restart her career, he’s insecure and he’s being taken advantage of, she’ll probably get his kids papped, blah blah blah. This honestly could be total bullshit so who the fuck knows at this point. The whole getting together before awards season as well is so obvious, like so many couples do that for good publicity during this time of year and it’s frankly laughable. It’s the same kind of situation as the Alison Sudol/David Harbour situation two years ago - they stepped out together at the Golden Globes etc. And look how that turned out!

And, to be honest, I get feelings about people. You know how sometimes you just get a feeling about someone and you try to push it aside but it gnaws at you? Yeah. It’s not concrete evidence but I’ll be honest, 97% of the time I’ve found that if I have a feeling about a person, I’m at least somewhat right. I had a gut feeling when the whole nonsense about Johnny Depp and Amber Heard started, and even when I was abused and harassed over it, I knew my gut was telling me that it was BS because it just didn’t feel right. And it turns out I was right in that case because it’s now come out that Heard was abusing him and that she’s almost certainly been lying the entire time about being abused. But I digress, I’m not here to talk about that. I don’t know why but I get a bad feeling/vibe about RB and, hey, I could be totally wrong, nothing is ever 100%! But right now that’s the vibe I get and i tend to go with what that gut feeling is telling me.

And before the accusations of “you’re just a bitter jealous fan” come flooding in (as they inevitably will), I can promise you that is not the case. I make jokes about being thirsty and shit, but that’s all they are - jokes. Come on, I’m 22 next week, do you really think I want to hook up with a 41 year old with 3 kids?? 😂 And besides that, there have been MANY actors I either crush on or admire who are either in relationships or married, and because I’m an adult I can respect that. Hell, most of the time, I start stanning their partner too! There’s literally only ever been one occasion where I had a crush on an actor and didn’t like the person they’re (now) married to, and that’s because I didn’t like her as a person. I can respect that they’re married and I wish them all the luck, but given that it’s been nearly 9 years now and I still don’t particularly like her (and I don’t crush on said actor now), it’s definitely not a “fangirl crush” thing. It’s just that sometimes you don’t like certain people - maybe you disagree with their views, their behavior, or maybe you just don’t like the vibe they give off. You can’t like everyone, and you can’t be liked by everyone, that’s just how it is.

So, to conclude, I want to just make it clear that while I’m not a fan, honestly all the power to them, like Bill is a grown ass man, he can do whatever he wants with his life for all I care, he doesn’t need fangirls online rushing to defend him or baby him. As Mrs Brown from Mrs Brown’s Boys said... “it’s your life, love, you’re entitled to fuck it up however you please”. (I’m not saying he IS fucking up his life, on the contrary he’s doing very well for himself, it’s just a saying)

#its nearly 5am and i drank too much im going to bed #asks

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thesinglesjukebox · 5 years

Video

youtube

THE 1975 - PEOPLE

[5.56]

The 1975 you know is gone! THEY'RE HARDCORE NOW!!!

Alex Clifton: As far as the lyrics & delivery go: a truly punk song, a well-needed wakeup call, and Healey's screaming is how I have felt literally every day for the last four years, which I deeply appreciate. As an actual single: I can listen to this maybe once a month because it's super dissonant and honestly does not help with my constant anxiety that the world will end shortly. [5]

Kylo Nocom: Rightfully devastated punk that would probably sound a lot better if it didn't just seem like yet another damned attempt by the 1975 at appeasing the indie crowd through art-y posturing. Really, throw shit at their debut all you want, they knew exactly what they wanted to do and did all of it with near-perfect pop sheen. Their obsession with their own legacy has led to their musical downfall, and now we have to listen to them condescend and uphold it as somehow significant, as if there aren't artists with significantly more to say than Matty Healy that don't have the resources to have their voices heard. Eclecticism does not equal talent; Healy's inanities will not save us. [3]

Alfred Soto: "Syndrums? What syndrums?" Blustering through a rawk number showing little sweat, The 1975 write a Marilyn Manson take on "Love It If We Made It." It likely portends nothing except increased facility. [5]

Ryo Miyauchi: "People" as just the music is something I can't resist. Matty strutting to the beat of loud ass rock riffs with the tones bleeding from the seams? The guy singing like a snot-nosed know-it-all jerk in love with the spotlight, audibly kissing the camera? He may not be good at screaming as much as he think he does, but him simply giving himself to the moment sounds good enough. But if he also hopes to say something, and for me to feel like he actually did, well, this isn't exactly it. I've long understood that Matty lives in the same fucked-up world as me -- that's what "Love It If We Made It" made sure to do after all -- but I'm honestly exhausted from songs that's reportage and not much else. I can see the world burn down from my own eyes too! If Matty, or whoever else in pop, wants to say something, I need them to expand upon that blank between "republic's a banana, ignore if you wanna" and "fuck it, I'm just gonna get food, girls, gear." Ignoring is easy, I know, but that self-care via self-indulgence can't do much to help anymore. What exists beyond it when it's no longer the go-to step? Matty doesn't have the answer for that here. [6]

Maxwell Cavaseno: The only man who apparently decided that The (International) Noise Conspiracy was just what the world needed, long after even the actual T(I)NC was dissolved, would naturally be Matty Healy. Plenty of 'people' have misattributed this song to sounding like Marilyn Manson's "Beautiful People" which is an association I just simply don't hear at all. Instead I get a lot more of Manic Street Preachers, The Hives, The Blood Brothers, T(I)NC and even their frontman's prior band Refused's last moments. When the soon to be released 1975 album was discussed even in the build for last year's listless and dissatisfying A Brief Inquiry... constant invocations of the band's past as a journeyman post-hardcore act that probably would've died a death in the lower-tier nostalgia bin alongside earthtone9, Devil Sold His Soul, SikTH, Rinoa or The Ocean Fracture. The fodder of so many long gone myspace pages and collections of patches. Now it feels that era is being discussed with a genuine affectionate nostalgia again; and if there's anything this band loves to key in on, it's genre nostalgia. Do they land it? Maybeish. Straight Ahead Rock has admittedly felt less capable in The 1975's hands unless filtered into Glastonbury Festival Anthems a la "Robbers", so hearing them try to defiantly thrash while remaining groovy is either endearing or slight. Still, I admittedly can't think of a 1975 album yet where the key single was the leading one, so for now it feels just like a proposition of yet another shape-shifting going down. [6]

Oliver Maier: Post-hardcore with traces of 13-era Blur could have been the key to finally converting me to the church of the 1975, but this still isn't doing it for me. I don't doubt that Matty Healy is concerned about *vague hand gesture* the state of things, but for a band so aware that sincerity is indeed scary, I always feel as though their ventures into new sonic territory are the product of a desire to impress rather than earnestly communicate, that they might dip their toes into afrobeats or flirt with trap drums only because people don't expect them to. Which isn't a crime! But the punk signifiers here feel like just that: signifiers, gesturing at a genre that's all about urgency in an attempt to reverse-engineer that same quality, but capturing none of its essential recklessness. I prefer the unhinged vocal here to Healy's usual crooning, but paired with lyrics that modulate between the generic, the outright dreadful and the word "fuck" a whole bunch, it's just not enough to dispel the impression of a calculated facsimile of protest music. I could see myself softening on this if the rest of Notes on a Conditional Form sticks to the same sound, which might suggest some real commitment rather than the sense that the 1975 are still just trying on new masks and expecting an A for effort. But I'm not holding my breath. [4]

Rachel Bowles: I was lucky enough to hear this song for the first time live and witness the crowd erupt with infectious anger and joy- somehow knowing every single word of this days old song. There was something truly palpable, political and vital there, Healy has told the press he's never felt more like he's in a punk band and experiencing 'People' live, it's not hard to hear why. At the time I described it as "a Marilyn Manson meets Glassjaw-esque punk screed with enough F-bombs to satisfy even the most discerning teenage contrarian... an anthem that screams with the rage of billions of millennial and Gen Z 99 percenters, powerlessly watching the world burn (literally) as Donald Trump and Boris Johnson pat themselves on the back."Had I not clearly seen Healy & co in front of me, I would never have pegged 'People' as a 1975 song- this new venture into raw punk, however impressive, is just another string in the bow of band that is constantly reinventing themselves. [8]

Joshua Copperman: Let's unpack the worst line in "People"! Part 1: "My generation wanna fuck Barack Obama": A decade ago this might have been a reference to "Crush on Obama," but now any given Gen Z socialist will tell you that Obama wasn't progressive enough, that he was a neoliberal centrist, etc etc. So it's more like fuck Barack Obama. Double meanings! Part 2: "living in a sauna": Could be a climate change reference, but with the next line it's more likely to be a hotbox joke. More double meanings! Except the idea that Earth is itself a hotbox is both funnier and more evocative. Part 3: "Legal marijuana": Both a long-delayed Halsey comeback for that one line in "Colors" and a catalyst for even more double meanings! there's the aforementioned hotbox joke, or it's the ever-ubiquitous "using drugs to numb the pain" thing. Conclusion: This line both says a lot of things and says absolutely nothing, which is what anyone who hates this song will think it does. Oh right, there's a song attached. And it's fantastic. The mix of a gritty aesthetic with bright, clean guitar tones. The ability to make a tuneless song sound as catchy as "Chocolate" but inexplicably less anoying. This is everything I've wanted the 1975 to do, or anyone to do when everything in all genres sounds so listless and geared towards Playlists. Even Idles pandered with the whole 'ten points to Griffyndor' thing. The 1975 is virtually only pandering to emo kids with this one. And edgelords, hopefully putting them on a path to salvation instead of hatred. Or not. Whoever it's for, I'm glad it exists. [9]

Edward Okulicz: Honestly, I know that throwing reductionist comments at male pop stars stepping outside their apparent lane isn't a curative against how such things have been levelled at women over the years, but my initial, and second, and third, and fourth reaction to this song is "omg Matty Healy just shut up and be a pop star, you know, something you're really good at." I'll be over here in sensitivity training if you need me. [4]

[Read, comment and vote on The Singles Jukebox]

#The 1975 #rock #pop #music #music review #writing

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thesffcorner · 5 years

Text

Tell Me How You Really Feel

Tell Me How You Really Feel is a YA romance written by Aminah Mae Safi. It follows Sana and Rachel, seniors in high school, who are sworn enemies. Rachel is an aspiring filmmaker, struggling to finish her senior project which may seal or destroy her scholarship to NYU, and Sana is a future med student, who is struggling with the possibility that she may not want to be a doctor after all. Due to a series of unfortunate events, the two are forced to work together on Rachel’s film, and their relationship might change, taking their futures along with it. I loved this book. I knew I would love it from the moment I started reading; by the time we got to Rachel’s PoV I was already sold. This was one of the easiest 5 stars I’ve given out all year, and I absolutely adored this book. It’s very cute and funny, but it also tackle a lot of really important subjects like tradition, family, feminism, the male gaze and the struggle that queer girls have with relationships. If you are at all interested in the synopsis, pick this up now; you will not regret it. Before I gush about this book for 12 paragraphs straight, I do have to get my one gripe out of the way. This whole book revolves around Rachel’s film which is a modern retelling of the Odyssey. Except it isn’t; it’s the Iliad. They talk about the Trojan War, Helen of Troy is one of the main characters, the OG narrator is supposed to be Cassandra and Odysseus or Penelope are not mentioned once. I don’t understand how this happened; I refuse to believe Safi doesn’t know that the Iliad covers the Trojan War? Everytime the Odyssey was mentioned I wanted to scream, it bugged me that much. That admittedly petty gripe aside, I really loved this book. One of the first things that caught my eye that I loved were the chapter titles: each one is a reference to a different film or music video, but they are a lot more subtle than the usual. The one that made me cackle was You Take Me By the Heart when You Take Me By the Hand, but I also appreciated There Goes Your Social Life and Chew Like You Have a Secret. This whole book is one big love letter to film making and film in general; there is so much stuff in this book about editing, shooting, and even the more technical aspects of film like gaffing, which as someone who was pretty often the gaffer on student shoots, I was super down for. Every single conversation about the industry just punched me in the stomach in the best way possible; I loved that Rachel was such a crass and bold filmmaker, who treated set like male filmmakers do, and all the discussions of women in film, and how underrepresented and how many difficulties they have making it. None of the conversations felt like I was being preached too, and having seen first hand how differently men and women are treated on set, I was nodding along angrily to everything I read. It’s not all bad stuff though; there are scenes where Rachel and Sana discuss why they love film so much, and everything that the medium can deliver in terms of emotions. I was just so happy reading this book, because it was such a clear love-letter to film-making, while still keeping it generally realistic to a teenager. Rachel has a rater conventional taste; Sana even calls her out on how all the ‘classics’ she wants Sana to see are white and Hollywood. The other big love of this book is cheer-leading. I feel like for whatever reason, I have been just bombarded with cheer-leading recently; I re-watched Bring it On, I watched a video on Bring it On, I re-watched Fired Up, and then this book. Sana is a cheerleader and she’s also the captain of the team. I really enjoyed that she loved cheer as a sport, rather than as a social activity (I also cackled at the jab about how Chess players are considered athletes, but cheer is an ‘athletic activity’, barf). Though we don’t get a lot of routines and actual practices, what we do get was fun, and I really enjoyed Sana’s little speech towards the end. Also the fact that her favorite film is But I’m a Cheerleader, also made me happy. A major focus of the book is family. Both Sana and Rachel come from single parent households, though they get there through different circumstances. Rachel has a lot of resentment and anger towards her mother for leaving her, and learning about the circumstances was heartbreaking. Even though the book never fully acknowledges it, it’s pretty clear why Rachel hates beautiful girls and Helen of Troy specifically, once you learn that, and this section really left me heartbroken. On the flip-side, Sana has some major issues with both her father and grandparents. This was the part that I wasn’t a super big fan of, mostly because it’s both very different from how I was raised, and eerily similar to how families are here. The focus on appearances, and tradition, while sometimes sacrificing healthy and fulfilling relationships with children and elders really is a subject I dislike reading about. I did find it refreshing that Sana is out to her family and for the most part they are very accepting; her struggles are mostly to do with her desire to both please everyone and be the perfect daughter, while also trying to find her own path, and do things that aren’t necessarily in line with what her family expects from her. Speaking of being out, I really liked the discussion on queerness too. There is a passage where Rachel discussed how Sana has been placed in a cage all her life, not because she is afraid to flirt or to be out, but because other people just refuse to believe or acknowledge that someone like her could be gay. The whole ‘does everything in the book that is overt flirting, and yet gets treated as just being friendly’ really hit me hard, because I have experienced the same. It’s really difficult to convince others sometimes that you are in fact interested in women, and even more so to actually toe the line between flirting and coming on too strong. There is also discussion of class in this book, which I found interesting. Both Sana and Rachel have preconceived notions about the social background of the other, which are both wrong. It reminded me a bit of Pride and Prejudice, in that they are both so proud and stubborn and their mixed messages come from these ingrained fears tied to their class and family. The plot of the book was fine; I liked how melodramatic it was at points, especially the ending, but it firmly places itself in the teen rom-com genre and uses all the tropes in the best way possible. Even the falling out between the two girls felt really justified and I was glad that it was Rachel who had the most growing to do to be able to really connect with Sana. Speaking of, the characters were likewise great. I liked both families, though I was more attached to Sana’s mother who was a really cool woman, someone that I would like to be one day if I stay in the film industry. She was smart, and hardworking, and I loved that even when Sana and Rachel were at outs, she still reached out to help Rachel connect with other female industry professionals. Rachel was the character I related to more, and as such she annoyed me more. She is super aggressive a lot of the time, and doesn’t realize that because she’s always so defensive and has trained both herself and everyone else that she never needs help, that's why people never offer it. She had the more severe character arc, and I really enjoyed her examining her own biases and internalized sexism; I don’t read many books who do that. Sana I absolutely loved. She was a great character, just a super-well fleshed out teenager. I related to her struggles with asking girls out, her crush on Rachel, her viewing Helen of Troy as a person rather than a stereotype. I don’t even know how to describe her without just listing all the things about her that I loved which would be everything; she was truly a gem of a character, and definitely my favorite character I’ve read so far this year. Overall, read this book. It’s cute, it’s deep, it deals with film and feminism, and has one of the best female-female romances I’ve ever read. I 100% recommend it; I think it should get as much love as Red White and Royal Blue.

goodreads

#tell me how you really feel #tell me how you really feel review #moni talks #book review

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jobethdalloway · 6 years

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2018 tony ramblings

-I’m so thrilled for The Band’s Visit. I was lucky to see it before it reached Broadway - it came to my attention bc I love the movie and was so surprised to see it had been adapted into a musical. I couldn’t believe it when I learned it made it to B’way and now it swept the Tonys omg!! Yes.

-Tony Shalhoub’s teary eyes while Katrina Lenk was singing? mood

-actually, I cried a few times myself: when Lindsay Mendez said she’d been told to change her last name; when Ar’iel Stachel said he avoided going places with parents/suppressed connection to his Middle Eastern identity after 9/11 but now look at this show he got to be in (“your obstacle can become your purpose”); and those Marjory Stoneman Douglas students singing “Seasons of Love.” That got me because Rent was SO huge when I was in school, like every theater kid was obsessed with it (to the point that I really came to dislike the show, except for that one song). But hearing these students perform it really took me back, and the reactions of people in that theater...wow. That is the power of live performance.

-I guess HP & the cursed whoever probably works much better on stage than on paper. If tickets ever get down to a reasonable price, maybe I’ll make it there someday

-so thrilled for Laurie Metcalf and her win. She’s an actress with incredible range and she seemed really surprised to have won. Loved her dress, too. I’m still pissed at the Academy for giving her award to Allison Janney (and I say this as someone who loved “I Tonya” but was meh about “Lady Bird)

-when will Rachel Bloom host the Tonys (Sara & Josh were actually a great duo tho)

-the song from Mean Girls really didn’t do anything for me until Gretchen and Karen’s verses - those were funny and felt fresh, as opposed to the rest of the song, which just...didn’t feel particularly unique or inspired. The style felt like a weird mesh for the story? I haven’t seen the show so I can’t speak to the rest of the music, but eh

-also I get that the choreography was a big deal and obvs Justin Peck deserved his win, but wtf why did they not do a medley for Carousel??? You have Jessie Mueller and Joshua Henry and Lindsay Mendez and RENEE FLEMING in your cast performing some of Rodgers and Hammerstein’s most famous work and you don’t do at least a few bars of “you’ll never walk alone”???? FAIL

-totally underwhelmed by the Spongebob number they chose. That Squidward costume, while super creative/props to the guy for being able to dance in it, is going to haunt me in my nightmares. I’ve seen a clip of Ethan Slater performing and he seems fun/the iridescent sponges were a cool idea, but how is the rest of the music?

-I felt kinda bad but also laughed at the little boy making faces behind glenda jackson (was this gif’d anywhere??) On that note congrats to Glenda and especially Laurie Metcalf, who I’m sure could use the pick-me-up. But honestly she was great. In a show that left me more profoundly depressed than any other play I’ve ever seen. So. thanks for that.

-honestly? Kinda bummed Frozen didn’t win anything! But then, I didn’t expect it to win best musical or best script - I’m really surprised it didn’t even get nominations for lighting or scenic design or costumes. I’ve seen a lot of haters (seriously? We’re still hating on Frozen just for existing?) who haven’t even seen the show but are just hating on it bc they hate Frozen. Which is so lame, you guys. I’m guessing Caissie Levy & Patty Murin canceled each other out for nominations, but they’d have both deserved at least nods. Here they are taking on these parts that are internationally beloved and known inside-out, and making them their own. The showpieces are stunning. The effects are remarkable. Their voices are a gift. Caissie Levy being able to make “Let it Go” her own is just incredible and she kills it. I love the movie but the show is so much better.

-thank you tony kushner for reminding people to vote

-I still have a crush on john leguizamo

-sorry I didn’t get to see boys in the band. their rainbow suits were wonderful!

-congrats to chita rivera

-robert deniro

-I’m annoyed to remember that the shows are filmed but except in extremely rare circumstances, are not released to the general public

#ramble #tonys #broadway #can anyone talk to me about shows??#i stayed off tumblr to avoid spoilers #and then remembered this isn't the oscars and only like 2% of the population cares

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thechildofstorms · 6 years

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Happy June Pride Everyone

It’s been a little more than a year since I wrote my thesis, and I’m still in the process of trying to publish it, but with June here and because my thesis itself was about the LGBT community, I really just wanted to write this. It’s so long, i’m so sorry.

When I was growing up, I knew almost next to nothing about the LGBTQIA+. I was baptist, I was heavily religious, and while my dad taught me to have a heart for others and a heart for God, I wasn’t aware enough to know that those words only reached out to specific communities and ideals.

I grew up hearing slurs as jokes, and I would giggle because I thought my dad was the funniest person around, and before I was older I only thought they were harmless, because why would someone I respected and admired be cruel when he taught me not to be?

I did become aware though, around the same time that I became self-conscious and insecure. I treasured those I was close to, and I could never figure out if I loved someone too much, or if I stayed within the confinements of safe friendly love. I denied active crushes, I denied reading sapphic romances because I felt like it was a line I couldn’t cross, I denied revelations about girls I saw in school hallways, and instead hyper focused on boys that I also found attractive.

I was so scared of losing approval. I remember being fifteen and sitting in the car going to visit my grandparents. My biological mother had gotten drunk and abusive again the night before, and for the first time within the last hour before we had gotten in the car everything was finally calm again. My dad was listening to conservative news, and I asked him why they were so negative about the equality crisis at the time. I just remember a specific part the most, because it became so ingrained in my head to the point that it still echoes even now, almost ten years later.

“It’s wrong, it’s abomination.”

The biggest part that hit me is the bolded, because my dad put so much emotion behind it. It felt so final and it made me scared. I valued my relationship with him, because he protected me. I valued him because he was the only parent that did not try to restrict his love or make it conditional.

I brought it up only once to my biological mom when I was still in high school, and she was so adamant about me not being Bi, “No, Rachel. You aren’t, you aren’t.” she didn’t bring it up again. Later when I told her in my 20′s, she walked out of the room then came back to fight on it.

In the year that my parents finally separated and I ended up in the worst battle in my life - trying to protect my little sister while being hurt and abandoned emotional by those I trusted to help - I swan dived. After talking to my cousin, and after more than a year of internally struggling between accepting it or not, and feeling so hopeless in 2012, knowing I would probably never have the family I always wanted, I told my dad. Three days after my biological mom told me she wished she had aborted me because I told her I was done with her abuse. The night before he had hugged and comfort be when I woke up sobbing and panicking at three am, but when I told him, he was silent, and I felt so relieved that he didn’t attack me then and there that I didn’t see the silence as his way of putting distance between us.

In the following years, I lost one of the strongest relationships I had. I realized the man I defended so adamantly against my biological mom and those who blamed him for the divorce and her later fall into substance usage and crimes. I realized I had defended him while wrongfully thinking he would do the same for me. I was told I would cheat on my spouse because I like men and women. I was told I was wrong. I was told that my love was false and corrupt, that it was a sexual deviance akin to adultery and pedophilia. All the while I was being told by others who supported my biological mom that I was hateful and cruel and wrong as well. It was devastating. I felt like I had no voice, that I had no connection, and that I was nothing except for that parts that I had to carve out in my new life. I lost so much of my childhood and foundation stones that I didn’t know how to recover.

It was at the end of this time that I was a senior working on their dreaded thesis project. Chechnya was coming to light, the fear of Trump was there, and I felt entirely alone and angry and even spiteful, because how could so much hate exist? How could people that taught me love and who always loved me turn on me? How could families in Chechnya betray and hate their sons? How could an entire denomination fall into a hateful narrative from a hateful man?

I knew that I wanted to make my thesis about something that was, as I put it at the time, super gay. Slightly for revenge on my family, mostly because I was so curious about exploring a new part of me that I had denied for so long. During that year before my final semester, I realized that yes, it would be gay, yes it would be amazing. But it couldn’t be about me or what I wanted. I hated thinking about what my dad and my biological mom taught me, the good things, but I remembered the part about having a heart for others. I remembered being a community and being there and sharing testimonies so that others could see your struggle and identify with it and learn and heal with you. I remembered the selflessness of that, and i remember how I relied on it and how it felt like a piece missing from me at the time.

And I wondered, why didn’t the LGBT community have that, too? Why can’t we find solidarity in our past. Why is our history so heteronormative? Why couldn’t I find a similar narrative when I had needed it the most? why should my younger sisters and my cousin go through their own pain and loss like I did? why should any of us go through it without solidarity and guidance?

I only dipped into the reservoirs of LGBT history, but I found stories that resonated with mine. I found our trans community represented within warriors, and I reached for our Bi and lesbian and gay roots that are so much deeper than mainstream society wants you to know. I was tired of always seeing people like me dying on tv, or not even being there, so I went and found them myself.

After mediating and learning their stories, I wrote narrative prose on them. i tried as hard as I could to let their voices flow through my writing so that others could hear them and find their own voices there as well.

We spent so much of our lives being told we are not enough, that we are few, that we are inherently wrong. We were either disowned or isolated within our own homes. We were let down by those we trust and love. We have hearts that beat stronger now, because we have lived and breathed pain and hurt, but we still love and celebrate. I have one of my poems attached below, it was one of my favorites from my thesis, and it reminded me to hope after it was finished.

----

Early Morning, the Sirens Wail

Under swift waves, new tides preceding

Planes flying over burnt walls,

We held hands, bones crackling, knees bruised

And pained, murmuring, “I see how we will die.”

So calm, eyes unfocused to metal wings above,

Her smile, “Come now, just breathe for me.”

And we breathe in all the ash wind, and we

Breathe out all the war’s rage.

Calm down, wings should never make

Such horrific sounds, overpowering the beating