#like in all forms

[ruushes]

sleeping arrangements (not sure tara would ever actually deign to sleep in the same 20ft radius as shovel but who can resist those big shiny insectoid black eyes 🥺)

plus:

#gale dekarios #shadowheart #astarion #bg3 #baldur's gate 3 #my art #want to promote a greater shovel presence in the fanbase. where is all the shovel content. where is my beautiful daughter #she is gale's familiar. to me. #he may not necessarily *want* shovel #but it's too late now #he's her wizard it might be more apt to say #tara is not in any way shape or form a familiar she's like. his aunt. #also i have GOT to develop a faster way of making things like i have so many dumb joke ideas i can’t be rendering shit. unsustainable! 😭😭

[andthebeanstalk]

Today my therapist introduced me to a concept surrounding disability that she called "hLep".

Which is when you - in this case, you are a disabled person - ask someone for help ("I can't drink almond milk so can you get me some whole milk?", or "Please call Donna and ask her to pick up the car for me."), and they say yes, and then they do something that is not what you asked for but is what they think you should have asked for ("I know you said you wanted whole, but I got you skim milk because it's better for you!", "I didn't want to ruin Donna's day by asking her that, so I spent your money on an expensive towing service!") And then if you get annoyed at them for ignoring what you actually asked for - and often it has already happened repeatedly - they get angry because they "were just helping you! You should be grateful!!"

And my therapist pointed out that this is not "help", it's "hLep".

Sure, it looks like help; it kind of sounds like help too; and if it was adjusted just a little bit, it could be help. But it's not help. It's hLep.

At its best, it is patronizing and makes a person feel unvalued and un-listened-to. Always, it reinforces the false idea that disabled people can't be trusted with our own care. And at its worst, it results in disabled people losing our freedom and control over our lives, and also being unable to actually access what we need to survive.

So please, when a disabled person asks you for help on something, don't be a hLeper, be a helper! In other words: they know better than you what they need, and the best way you can honor the trust they've put in you is to believe that!

Also, I want to be very clear that the "getting angry at a disabled person's attempts to point out harmful behavior" part of this makes the whole thing WAY worse. Like it'd be one thing if my roommate bought me some passive-aggressive skim milk, but then they heard what I had to say, and they apologized and did better in the future - our relationship could bounce back from that. But it is very much another thing to have a crying shouting match with someone who is furious at you for saying something they did was ableist. Like, Christ, Jessica, remind me to never ask for your support ever again! You make me feel like if I asked you to call 911, you'd order a pizza because you know I'll feel better once I eat something!!

Edit: crediting my therapist by name with her permission - this term was coined by Nahime Aguirre Mtanous!

Edit again: I made an optional follow-up to this post after seeing the responses. Might help somebody. CW for me frankly talking about how dangerous hLep really is.

#hlep #original #mental health #my sympathies and empathies to anyone who has to rely on this kind of hlep to get what they need. #the people in my life who most need to see this post are my family but even if they did I sincerely doubt they would internalize it #i've tried to break thru to them so many times it makes my head hurt. so i am focusing on boundaries and on finding other forms of support #and this thing i learned today helps me validate those boundaries. the example with the milk was from my therapist. #the example with the towing company was a real thing that happened with my parents a few months ago while I was age 28. 28! #a full adult age! it is so infantilizing as a disabled adult to seek assistance and support from ableist parents. #they were real mad i was mad tho. and the spoons i spent trying to explain it were only the latest in a long line of #huge family-related spoon expenditures. distance and the ability to enforce boundaries helps. haven't talked to sisters for literally the #longest period of my whole life. people really believe that if they love you and try to help you they can do no wrong. #and those people are NOT great allies to the chronically sick folks in their lives. #you can adore someone and still fuck up and hurt them so bad. will your pride refuse to accept what you've done and lash out instead? #or will you have courage and be kind? will you learn and grow? all of us have prejudices and practices we are not yet aware of. #no one is pure. but will you be kind? will you be a good friend? will you grow? i hope i grow. i hope i always make the choice to grow. #i hope with every year i age i get better and better at making people feel the opposite of how my family's ableism has made me feel #i will see them seen and hear them heard and smile at their smiles. make them feel smart and held and strong. #just like i do now but even better! i am always learning better ways to be kind so i don't see why i would stop

[theonewhowails]

cult trait: good die young

#my art #cotl #cotl lamb #as you can tell. my lamb is SO normal #i wanted to do a thing that showed what kind of a cult leader they were without being like. 25 pages long sakjhfsdg #surprisingly hard???? what can i say i love dramatic spacing and plotlines that slowly build over time. its my curse #this lamb btw is largely based off of the way i played cotl in my first full playthrough. i call this one the Collector #because they do all the fucked up shit you need to in order to collect all the follower forms etc

[langernameohnebedeutung]

ngl, I'm beginning to take issue with how in conversations about anti-intellectualism almost automatically, the face of girls and women will be slapped on the problem.

#'all those tiktok girls who only like marvel films and' - why do you always say girls and women? are the guys filling opera halls instead? #'women in their mid 20s who still only read YA novels' okay sure that's an example and relevant discussions can be had #but it reminds me of the mocking tone in which people speak of 'chick-lit' to use women's interest as an indicator of lower value #while in fact women are reading more than men in EVERY single genre of fiction. Women are doing a lot of (often unpaid) labour #supporting libaries supporting theatres supporting cultural events #meanwhile there is a pretty big overlap between toxic masculinity and anti-intellectualism #(especially misogyny and homophobia) #especially when it comes to things like ballet or opera or musical or generally dance #in fact it is often the female investment in specific things that makes them less 'valuable' in general consciousness #for thousands of years the theatre was well-respected and a high form of art - and now it's a 'wife-thing' #the father who will teach his son that theatre and dance are for girls - how is that never an example for anti-intellectualism

[inkskinned]

there are a lot of posts out there that are positive and healthy coping mechanisms for handling the holidays. this is not one of them :)

i think there's like. going to be times in your life you will be stuck in a social situation that you cannot escape from gracefully. i do not know why the internet doesn't believe these times exist. it's not always just that your physical safety is at risk - sometimes it's legit like "i just don't currently have the energy or time to put in the effort of responding to this." sometimes it's a coworker you hate so much. sometimes it's just like, fine, you know? like you know you can handle your aunt when she's cheerily horrible, but if you actually set a boundary around her, it's going to be weeks of fallout with your father.

i don't know why people think the answer is always just "cut them out!" or "don't let them get away with that!" because ... the real world is tricky and complicated. i think kind of a lot of us have an internal "radiation poisoning" meter for certain people. like - i'm talking about the ones who are absolutely giving you gradual ick damage. like, you can handle them, but you'll be exhausted.

and yes. you absolutely should listen to your therapist and the good posts about handling others and set good boundaries and take care of yourself. prioritize peace.

HOWEVER :) ...... since im often in a situation with a Gradual Sense of Ick person i cannot just "cut out" of my life (without losing someone else precious to me) - i have sort of developed the most. maladaptive form of mischief possible. because like, if i'm going to have to listen to this shit again, i like to have a little bit of private fun with it.

now! again, i am physically safe, just mentally drained by this man. you should only do this with people you are not in danger with. which leads me to my suggestions for when your Unfortunate Acquaintance shows up and says oh everyone pay attention to me.

my favorite word is "maybe!" said as brightly and happily as possible. whenever the Horrible Person starts in on a topic you do not want to go further with, particularly if they make a claim that you know to be inaccurate, do not respond to it. you and i have both tried to actually argue with this person, and it hasn't gone well, because this person just wants the drama of an argument. however, "maybe!" gives them literally nothing to go on. it is incredibly disarming. they are used to people having some response. they know they can't prove what they're saying, and maybe! treats them like the child they are. it dismisses them in the politest way possible.

i like to say maybe! and then, in their stunned silence, immediately change the subject. this is because i have adhd and i will have something unrelated to talk about, but if you can't think of topics fast enough, i recommend just pointing to something and saying, "isn't that lovely?" because fuck you let's bring in some positivity.

by the way. that second trick - of pointing to something and stating an opinion about it? - that just works on its own, like, 70% of the time. i picked it up from teaching preschoolers. it's an intentional "redirect". it stops children crying and it also stops grown adults from finishing their explanation on why women belong in kitchens. dual wielding!

keep it silly for yourself. i absolutely do not care if people think i'm fucking stupid (it's more fun if they do) and as a result i will purposefully misunderstand things just to see how long it takes them to realize i've completely removed them from the subject at hand. when they say "women aren't funny" i get to be like. "which women." "all women." "all women in america?" "no in the world." "like the mole people? the people in the world?" "what? no. like, alive." "oh are we not counting the mole people?" "what the fuck are you talking about." "you don't believe in the mole people?"

similarly, i play a personal game called "one up me." my Evil Acquaintance literally knows this game exists (my family & friends caught onto it and now also play it) and it always fucking gets him. i don't know why. you have to be willing to be a little free-spirited on this one, though. the trick is that when they make one of those horrible little bigoted or annoying comments they are always making, you need to go one unit weirder. not more intense, mind you - just more weird. "you don't look good in that dress." "yeah, actually, my other dress was covered in squid ink due to a mishap at the soup store." "you shouldn't wear such revealing clothes." "wait, what? oh shit. sorry, your son tears off strips when no one is looking and eats them. i swear it was longer before we left the building."

the point of "one up me" is to completely upend this person's narrative. we both know this person likes setting up situations where you cannot "win" and then they really like telling other people how badly you handled it. in a usual situation, if you respond "please don't say something that rude", you're a bitch. but if you let it happen, you're letting yourself be debased. they are not usually expecting door number three: unflappably odd. because what are they going to say when they're telling everyone how badly you behaved? "she said my son eats her dresses" ".... okay?"

if you can, form an allyship with someone whomst you can tagteam with. where they can pick up on your weird "soup store" story and run with it.

the following phrase is amazing and can be deployed for any situation: "oh, be nice :) it's the holidays!" i do not know why this works as often as it does. i'll say it for the most random shit. i think this is bc most of the time these people know they're being impolite, they just like to fight.

godbless. when in doubt, remember that you could always start stealing their pens.

the whole point of this is - if you can't escape. maybe see how long you can just be. like. a horrible little menace.

#this is objectively bad advice #don't listen to it protect yourself and do real work on yourself find one of the good posts i've made about this #but also. u know. if u want to have fun while u do the work of setting boundaries #.... it IS fun #i will say that my fear of him went SO down after i just started. fucking with him. #bc i used to get SO fucking upset #i'd spend WEEKS arguing with him. tearing my hair out. sick with anxiety and dread and anger about all of it #and now i just LITERALLY do not engage #instead i'm like '' haha :) mole people" and get the HELL out of any tense conversation #i kind of think some of these people are literally addicted to drama as a form of connection #they like the rush they get from arguing #but those arguments are incredibly damaging for me #so like..... i am in the process of literally rehabilitating this person to figure out how to find connection thru #NORMAL CONVERSATION #he doesn't get it yet #i also do talk to them like they're preschool kids lmafo . ''are you using a safe and kind voice right now?'' #'' do you need a snackie? you sound a little upset. let's have some hummus and come back to playtime when we feel ready''

[lolliepops-rox]

This is my petition for people who create pins/stickers/other things with "she/they" & "he/they" to also include "she/he". I'm kind of sick of being excluded, and I'm sure there are plenty of others who feel the same.

#trans #transgender #genderfluid #bigender #nonbinary #non binary #multigender #polygender #pangender #she/he #he/she #pronouns #talking lollie #anyways. people should maybe share this around #kinda sick of going to cons & seeing my pronoun set excluded #and also everyone assuming all nb people use they/them in some form #particularly when other people try to correct either someone else or themself to they/them for me #like mate... ive literally never used they/them #she/her and he/him aint dirty. please dont act like it.

[carnivalcarriondiscarded]

a couple scribbles i cleaned up. also i think i like drawing him in varying states of distress

#i desperately want to know what happened the first time he cried #actually is that something he can do? is he capable of it? #i feel like he wouldn't like it... #since crying is messy and we all know he enjoys/values his appearance greatly #i mean cmon. its an involuntary loss of composure. and especially if he doesnt understand what/why its happening #so in my mind rn hed be idk... kinda desperate to stop crying & act fine? #HES SO FASCINATING. WHAT IS WRONG WITH HIM <3 #many things probably! #what to do when you're a puppet created as a blank slate while everyone around you already Knows Shit and Understands Feelings #scribble salad #welcome home #welcome home puppet show #welcome home fanart #welcome home wally #wally darling #i know there's a lot of Head Empty jokes abt him #but honestly he gives the vibes of thinking constantly #always absorbing information and considering and learning and Forming Opinions #he LOOKS head empty. but he isnt. #i just cant imagine him never not Thinking #unless he really is head empty in which case. good for him. i support him no matter what. hes just like me<3

[junotter]

Part 1 of my modern avatar au, the fire nation

#avatar the last airbender #atla #atla azula #atla zuko #atla mai #atla ty lee #mailee #because they in messy yuri in this au #atla modern au #technically all of them work under ozai's company in some form #azula of course is very close to power zuko is at a lower position than her #mai is under her father's department which is in ozai's company #ty lee is in an idol group sponsored by ozai's company #mai visual kei girlie in her free time duh #zuko also depicted when he finally gets out of ozai's company and works at Iroh's cafe #ive got like a decent amount of lore built up so far around this AU so dont worry sokka katara aang toph and suki have places in this world #also its set on our earth so real life locations not the nations

[spookberry]

Idk man im havin a moment

#danny phantom #savant par #tucker foley #my art #fanart #phanart #scientifically i mean pretty sure we all came from the same star since our solar system was formed all outta the same stuff cu #but like just let me have this one

[flamingpudding]

You need an adult. - I am an adult!

Danny in human age is an adult. He was a 24 years old adult that only recently started working in the Arospace Department of Wayne Enterprise. Human wise he was by all means an adult, with the paper trail to support it.

The only problem was. His ghost form.

Despite his human side having aged just fine and giving him a fine, build like a Brickhouse, body that came close to Dan's hulking ghost form. His ghost side was still stuck on looking like his fourteen years old self, small and build like a twig. Pandora, Frostbite and Clockwork had tried teaching him how to manipulate his own ectoplasm so he can finally adjust his ghost looks. But so far... that was a skill he has yet to master successfully.

Now, usually, that wouldn't be a problem. But considering he only recently found out two of his bosses also worked with the Justice League who happened to know him as Phantom, it spelled problems.

Because the Justice League was convinced he was a forever 14 years old dead ghost hero who is using one of his many powers to appear like a human adult. He only went human on them like twice for undercover missions. He saw no problem in them knowing about his human half. Ancients all his rogues and the entirety of the Infinite Realms knew of it already anyway.

But you make one to many jokes about deadly situations or act just a bit to childish one to many times with them and you are seen as child forever! Go figure why Danny had so many problems with authority figures is whole life.

They were the once thinking his human half was just another power! He never said it was!

And now here he was, sitting in the office of one of his bosses. Faced with the two of them trying to clear up the misunderstanding of a decade. Ancients they are convinced his paper trail is fake just because Phantom had Tucker on his team. A team that had already established their talents years ago, when they worked with the JL for the first time.

Wait.... why was Bruce Wayne pulling out adoption papers?

I dont need an adult! I am an adult!

#danny fenton #danny phantom #dp x dc #dpxdc #crossover #dcxdp #tim drake #brue wayne #dannys ghost form is stuck at 14 #human wise he is an adult by all means tho #the justice league is just convinced he is a forever 14 years old ghost #like they only knew of his ghost form until for an undercover mission he went human infront of them #they are convinced that his human form is a power #think of it like a reversed Captain situation #they think he needs an adult #but danny is an adult #human wise at least #Dan and Ellie are laughting at this newfound missery of denied adulthood

[another-goblin]

He's into arts and crafts now. Good for him.

We are having a ladle appreciation party

#genshin impact #my stuff #neuvillette #genshin spoilers #lantern rite #lantern rite spoilers #look at this thing #so cute #and leisurely #like an otter #btw I wonder does he know how he looks in a dragon form? #also wriothesley I'll be very angry if I don't see that clay tablet displayed in a special place #with the reverence it deserves #btw I think it's not the first time he makes things #he also made medals for carole and vautrin #and maybe that special vision for furina #but all in all #I'm glad to see that he's as weird and delightfully awkward as usual

[liquidstar]

look this site really is awful for ppl with OCD so i just wanna reassure anyone that you are not Tainted Forever for consuming a piece of media with questionable content. the fact that youre able to recognize it speaks to your critical thinking skills, which is good, certain depictions should be critiqued. but you dont need to ruminate on it to the point where you begin to feel guilty for simply witnessing gross or creepy writing choices. you dont have to vindicate yourself to the fictional tumblr discourser inside your head, saying that youre now a bad person bc you watched the wrong anime. your actual response to it still matters of course, but thats that and this is this. just seeing it is neutral, you didnt commit a thought crime. its literally fine.

IF YOU ARE USING THIS POST TO ONLY FURTHER YOUR STUPID PEDANTIC BLACK-AND-WHITE DISCOURSE TO GET A "GOCHA" OVER THE OTHER SIDE YOU ARE THE PROBLEM. DON'T USE OUR DISORDER TO VINDICATE YOUR BEHAVIOR. THOUGHT CRIMES ARENT REAL BUT ACTIONS STILL MATTER. PEOPLE WITH OCD ARE CAPABLE OF THINKING CRITICALLY ABOUT OUR ACTIONS AND RESPONSES, EVEN WITH INTRUSIVE THOUGHTS AND RUMINATIONS. TREATING US AS IF WE CANNOT, ONLY TO FORCE US TO USE YOUR STRINGENT UNNUANCED DISCOURSE OPINIONS ABOUT "PURITY CULTURE" (TRIGGERING TO THOSE WITH OCD) AS THE ONLY REASONABLE GUIDE DOES MORE TO EXACERBATE OUR OBSESSIONS THAN HELP US. YOU ARE THE ISSUE AS WELL. YOU ARE ALSO THE TUMBLR DISCOURSER INSIDE OUR HEADS. DO NOT USE US FOR YOUR DISCOURSE. WE ARE PEOPLE, NOT HYPOTHETICALS TO USE TO EXPLAIN IF YOUR FROZEN INCEST FANFICTION IS OKAY OR NOT. TREATING US AS IF WE CANNOT AUTONOMOUSLY HAVE OUR OWN OPINIONS ON WHEN MEDIA IS TANGIBLY HARMFUL IS ABLEIST. FORCING US TO ABIDE BY YOUR IN-GROUP'S SET OF UNEQUIVOCAL MORALS IS ABLEIST. ACTING AS THOUGH THE ONLY SOLUTION FOR US IS MINDLESS MEDIA CONSUMPTION IN WHICH "EVERY DEPICTION OF XYZ, NO MATTER HOW POORLY DONE OR EXPLOITATIVE, IS ALWAYS OKAY AND IF YOU DISAGREE YOURE ACTUALLY AN EVIL 'ANTI'" IS ABLEIST. THOSE ARE THE SAME BLACK-AND-WHITE MORALS THAT SEND US INTO OBSESSIVE SPIKES, BUT FLIPPED. A SET OF MORALS IN WHICH QUESTIONING THE IMPACT OF A PIECE OF WORK MAKES YOU AN "EVIL CONSERVATIVE PURITAN "ANTI"" DOES NOT HELP MORAL OCD.

YOU ARE THE DAMN TUMBLR DISCOUERSERS MAKING THIS SHIT WORSE FOR US! YOURE THE EXACT SAME BUT WITH FLIPPED BUZZWORDS! YOU'RE MISSING THE WHOLE DAMN POINT!

#the fictional tumblr discourser inside your head is like the opposite of critical thinking its just extremes #blocking that helps you form better thoughts and come to a better understanding of why said content can be harmful in said depiction etc et #and to be clear shutting off all critical thoughts is not the solution either bc then you end up with.... Those People #the ones who jack off to lolicon on ao3 and think its the same artistically as lolita x_x #this post is not a vindication for that sort of thing. or say like actively supporting an openly bigoted series or author #those are different things because they are actual choices and actions. you chose to respond that way #thats what i mean when i say your actual response still matters. as in your actions surrounding it

[puppetmaster13u]

Prompt 225

Klarion is EXCITED. He's absolutely DELIGHTED even, unable to sit still as he flits from place to place. His baby cousin! Is! Visiting! Which OBVIOUSLY means he, as the older one, must make sure the main places are still standing so he can show his itty bitty baby cousin EVERYTHING! After all, he's never gotten to be the older one! He's always been the youngest in the family! But now he has an itty bitty toddler cousin- form recently shifted to match- to teach the ways of Chaos to! He's so EXCITED!

The League and heroes on the other hand, are Very concerned about Why the Witch Boy has been spotted in practically every major city in the US in the last few days. What is he planning?!

#prompts #dcxdp #dpxdc #klarion the witch boy #Danny fenton #Chaos & Clockwork are twin primordials #Danny might be stuck in this toddler form while he grows up again but this won't stop him #He is down for playing with his new cousin- aka causing mischief & exploring #Klarion is the realms equivalent of a 6 year old #Chaos has a very hands off approach to parenting while CW looks like he has a hands off approach #He is in fact a bit of a helicopter parent just via looking through mirrors #Danny is his first ghostling and look at all the danger he's gotten into at the fetus age of 3 #He has a right to worry! #DC world is the equivalent of a playground for primordial beings to let their kids run around in #At least that's how they see it #Ghosts fight for playing so that's what Klarion does with the league kid/teen teams lol #There has been many a miscommunication due to most entities avoiding Realms beings like the plagues #space core danny #DANNY IS NOT GHOST KING

[voiider]

I need codependent Danny/Jason as a little treat (for me) and I love the idea of them having some sort of instant connection the moment they meet (bc ghost stuff idk)

Danny who's been dropped in Gotham with no way home (alt universe??) and he's been here for 36 hours and having a Very bad time senses a liminal being and immediately latches onto them heedless of the fact that his new best friend is shooting at some seedy guys in an alley and goes off about how stressed he is and how he can't make it back to the ghost zone and what a bad day he's been having (and it's important to note Danny is a littol ghost boy literally hanging off of Jason's neck as he floats aimlessly) and Jason is like "who are you??" And Danny is like "oh sorry I'm Danny lol" and then just continues lamenting his woes

And honestly ? This might as well happen. Nothing about this Danny guy(is he human?) gives Jason a bad vibe and tbh he's never felt more calm and level headed before so he just keeps up his usual Red Hood patrol and doesn't even think about it when he heads back to a safehouse and feeds Danny dinner (breakfast) before crashing for half the day

The only thing I actually need is Jason meeting up with the bats for some sort of Intel meeting and they're like "uhhh who's that" and Jason is like "that's Danny." And does not elaborate (very ".... What do you have there?" "A smoothie" vibes)

And it takes them a while to realize that these two have known each other for less than 12 hours and are literally attached at the hip

#very remora fish with a shark #jason todd #danny fenton #danny phantom #dpxdc #dp x dc #this isnt super important but i imagine Danny's ghost form as young and unaged from his death so jason is used to this small whispy kid #who just hangs off him and talks literally all the time #so when something comes up and someone is like 'idk if we can bring danny looking like... that' (glowing and a literal ghost) #danny is like 'oh ok u need a human? ok :)' and transforms #its been WEEKS #jason didn't know he could do that #nobody did #and now theres this 20ish dude standing there #human form danny doesn't talk a lot (anxiety) ghost form danny can't stop talking (anxiety) #could be a ship fic and at this point jason goes from 'where is my little buddy :(' to 👀😳 #i imagine theres a sort of feedback loop with them both feeding off of each other's ecto energies and vibes idk #so when danny is human its not as strong #batman is convince this strange entity is like hypnoyizing his son and like hes not WRONG #but it goes both ways #idk #i just need more codependency fics :( #i should go on a bender #ignore my 500 open tabs and go to town

[currentlyonstandbi]

imogen asking how nick met charlie and the others, and nick struggling to explain the phenomenon of gays just naturally gravitating towards one another without outing himself

#like if you were gay in middle/high school you KNOW okay you just know #all the gays picked up on the vibe and formed one massive collective of homos #if you were in that group and straight? no you weren't #heartstopper #heartstopper season 2 #nick nelson #charlie spring

[araneapeixes]

rare bg3 Tav moment coming from me to you with a doodle assortment. with a goth gf cameo of course

#this was rly fun thank u for asking abt Ren.... please ask me anything abt them if you'd like <333 #it was fun thinking abt headcanons for her and shadowheart as well #her calf and hip tattoos are BOTH shadowhear related...simp alert #ALSO YEAH i had to crop shad from that top pic bc she didnt come out right. sorry #bg3 #bg3 fanart #bg3 art #bg3 tav #bg3 oc #shadowheart #shadowtav #shadowheart x tav #art #fanart #ALO LMAO this is my third post today?? bruh i havent moved form the couch all day ive just been going ham #ren