#like really you hate something 100s of thousands of people watch every day just bc you dont get it

[xenonz]

There’s this weird tension on my blog feed rn where half the people I follow occasionally reblog minecraft youtuber posts and seem to like them in passing, and the other half have just the most intense, vitriolic hatred for these random white boys playing a children’s video game

#the funny thing is that one person posted minecraft hatred and then the very next post #was chiding people who enter fandoms for childrens content and then get mad at the kids in the fandom and think it should be for just adults #like HELLO you literally just did exactly that for a twitch community about a childrens block video game #also like the main clapback post is literally just about how people say they have no personality or some shit #like really you hate something 100s of thousands of people watch every day just bc you dont get it #like i dont even watch any of it but im still just like whyyy do you spend your energy hating this

[workofheart]

eren jaeger relationship hcs

eren’s turn! modern relationship hcs. nsfw under the cut as per usual <3 levi ver.

really clingy. when ur away on a trip or something, he definitely cuddles your pillow and buries his head in it. might also spray your perfume on his hoodie so he can be reminded of you throughout the day (as if you aren’t already on his mind 24/7)

on that note, LOVES seeing you in his clothing. i feel like for most guys this is true and people mention it all the time, but eren especially. it makes him feel mushy and horny at the same time (more on that later) bc it just drapes over your shoulders perfectly. like he sees you and has to suck in a breath and look away to collect himself or else he’ll just become a puddle on the floor

likes hearing verbal affirmations. when you compliment him, tell him you’re proud of him, he gets all warm and fuzzy inside. it means so much coming from you and he knows you're genuine

really goofy, this is to be expected - tries to get you to laugh bc it raises his self esteem and confidence. he just likes looking at you being happy and smiling, it makes him feel so warm inside

definitely hides behind corners when he hears you walking or coming down the stairs so he can jump out and scare you. don’t worry though, because he always proceeds to hug you and kiss your forehead or temple to say he’s sorry but only kind of bc ur reaction was priceless. the little whack u give his arm in annoyance? he lovessss it bc it’s like he knows u still love him even when he is a little obnoxious

eren is definitely one of those enemies to lovers kind of guy bc he desperately wants someone to love him not necessarily in spite of his flaws, but with his flaws. he needs u to acknowledge that he’s far from a perfect person but still love him regardless

his favorite kind of dates are park dates. he likes going on warm & sunny days to throw a frisbee around with you in the open fields. i feel like he’s a basketball guy so he’ll bring you onto the court and play knockout... when he loses, will tell you he let you win on purpose for the sake of his ego 

lolll imagine him critiquing your free throw form or something and coming up behind you to fix it (it wasn’t actually that bad, he just wanted an excuse to be near you)

really needs physical touch. he’s the kind of guy who will always be in contact w you in some way or another. when driving, his hand will be on your thigh or holding yours on top of the center console, same for if you’re out at restaurants but under the table. he’d definitely try and play footsies with you if you’re sitting across from him rather than beside him. when sleeping, he holds you really tight and won’t let you roll over so you better just get comfortable. 

doesn’t mind being ur photographer and taking pics for you. he takes some time to learn the methods for the best pics but he eventually gets it

this is kind of random but when playing minecraft, he always blows up creepers and never fills in the creeper holes :| sorry. to make up for it he’ll get you music discs. also likes just going on little adventures to find a sand biome two thousand blocks away and just walking with you in game

on this topic actually i LOVE the idea of gamer bf eren. like not the league-and-monster-drinking kind but sumn about him in a headset and sitting at the edge of his bed... but he’ll definitely teach you how to play shooter games and will be so nice about it, won’t get mad at you, will give you little kisses when you’re not doing well and getting frustrated, and if you’re playing in online lobbies together he’ll stick by you the whole time and carry you

always sending you tiktoks & tries to get you to do all the trends with him. they never go viral but he goes back and watches them when he misses you

i peg him as a cat guy! really good with animals in general. i think most people would expect him to be a dog person since he can be loud and rowdy and excited, but on an emotional level i think he also just likes to be calm and relaxed and would get along with cats well. also teases you when animals reject you for him.

definitely writes about you in his journal. he jots down funny things you say or do or moments you shared so he never forgets any of them, and when he misses you he’ll read through them :( imagine when you’re so much older and he has documented proof of his love for you back when he was young please it makes me cry

also writes down little poetic words or things that remind him of you. he’ll hear a quote in a movie or a book or a song that instantly makes you pop into his head and he just has to write it down. he’s probably tried writing poems or songs about you, but he keeps those really secret because he’s embarrassed

this is kind of random but i think he’s a total beach person! likes going to spend days in the sun, builds sand castles and asks for your rating, drags you into the water to swim with him, will dive under and grab your ankles to freak you out, also looks really good in swim trunks but that's besides the point

he hates to see you upset and tries to cuddle the sadness out of you. when needs be, he’s a really good listener and doesn’t mind letting you just vent. when you cry, he pulls you in for a really tight hug and cradles your head - also because if he sees you crying, he’ll start to cry too because he genuinely feels for you 

tries his best to take care of you when you’re sick. not really a good cook or anything, but he’ll make you a grilled cheese or a pop tart, albeit a little crispy even though it’s his third attempt. doesn’t mind being near you and isn’t afraid of getting sick so he’ll cuddle you anyway

loses focus when you’re talking to him sometimes but it’s not because he’s not listening, it’s because he just gets caught up in staring at you and how you look when you talk bc he just adores you. when you snap him out of his, he always gets all red and blushy :(

nsfw under the cut (18+)

really likes sending & receiving nudes/lewds. he always goes for the torso selfie to show off his chest/abs when sending, and it doesn’t matter to him what you send back because he’ll like anything you have to offer

and his responses aren’t lame either. NOT the type to send you a thumbs up or a “ayo you sexy as hell fr doe” - he will hype you up with dirty talk because he seriously means it. honestly might just send you a voice message, or call you if you’re alone and available bc while he might look at pics of you from time to time for aesthetics, the majority of the time he’s jacking off

so you know how i said he likes seeing you in his clothing? he especially likes nudes of you in his clothes. send him a pic wearing his zip up hoodie & nothing else and he’s yours 

he prefers being in control/being on top but doesn’t mind if you want to take the reigns every once in a while

throws his head back and groans when u give him head. that's the image.

one of his favorite positions is when you’re in doggy but he pulls you up by the arms so your back is against his chest. he’ll snake a hand around to rub tight little circles on your clit, might put his hand around your throat if you like it. heavenly.

reallyyyy dirty mouth omg. asks sooo many teasing questions, likes hearing you say his name. “you like that, princess?” “louder for me” “who’s making you feel this good?” ugh and it’s not awkward either he makes it sound so good

has a lot of energy and a lot of stamina. stroke game will make you pass out, he’s so smooth and sets such a rhythm with his hips

things that get him going: kissing under his jaw, especially up by his ear. sucking his fingers. tugging on his hair. running your nails down his back.

pins your thighs to the bed when he eats you out. likes to make you squirm and loooves to edge you. super teasing in every way

can we just talk about his voice for a sec... he has the prettiest moans and isn’t afraid to let you know how he’s feeling. when you’re in missionary, he’ll hold himself up with one elbow, hold your hand with the other, and will lean down to moan right in your ear. sometimes does it on purpose bc he knows it turns you on from how you clench around him

usually has a death grip on that sensitive spot between your hips and your waist so he has something to hold on to while he pounds you

when he cums, he 100% buries his face in the crook of your neck, might even bite down from time to time 

can totally see him going harder if he knows there’s people around, he doesn’t care who it is that’s outside the door but they’re gonna hear how good he’s making you feel whether you like it or not

wants to see your face when you cum. will definitely tell you to cum for him and keep your eyes open when he’s really feeling it - your expression makes him nut so fucking hard lawwddd

daps u up after sex just cause he’s weird like that lol

#eren jaeger x reader #aot x reader #snk x reader #eren jaeger fluff #eren jaeger smut #eren jaeger headcanons #eren jaeger hcs #eren jaeger imagines #aot imagines #snk imagines #aot headcanons #eren hcs #eren headcanons #eren fluff #eren smut

[lmanberg]

ok unbiased summary/paraphrased transcript from bbh's stream 'cause I watched it fully:

he had started to address the fact that people on twitter were against him working with a6d on the podcast, clarifying the position a6d would have on the podcast by saying that co-host was wrong wording and that he would be a producer/ sound designer he said that

that he had seen the threads he had been sent and the stuff he was messages about in groupchats and that he had already in the past presented his point which he repeated now:

him being friends with someone, or working with someone, or following someone on twitter does not mean he a 100% endorses or supports their actions or thoughts, that people in the audience are probably like that too, and that people do not know what relationship people can have behind closed doors and not to assume why someone may be friends or in contact with someone else

he then started talking about hate in the mcyt community (from the audience to a cc's perspective) and used "someone young" as an example, not using names and using they/them pronouns at the start

(he later reiterated that talking about tommy was on the spot and that he may have said something wrong but that is how it goes with livestreams)

he spoke of how this is not all of the twt reaction and that there are other reasons people are upset and that they have every right to, but he said that some people on twt were saying some truly horrifying stuff about this person (tommy)

he said that some people on twt were going after streamers in the same way they go against faceless corporation, and that people need to understand that they are talking to/about a real person that will take it to heart

he continued to stress that he is really young possibly not even old enough to vote (this is when he accidentally dropped they/them and used he/him and continued to do so, chat easily caught up that it was about tommy anyway)

he said to chill and cut them some slack because them (twt/the audience) don't know what is like to have millions of people to pressure you

and that people need to be careful because the things they say (especially on twt) are amplified by thousands

he said that it made him dislike the platform, bc while it's great to bring up issues to light but it's also a great platform to harass people

that millions of people pushing even the littlest of things can stress out cc's incredibly and that when a cc opens up about those stresses the response shouldn't be "oh too bad! you deserve it!" and that he had seen tons of responses like that even from people he follows and that it was crazy to him that people would react like that

after this he admitted that he was talking about tommy and started using his name going forward

he then said that tommy is super kind and genuine and literally one of the kindest people he knows in the mcyt community and that he has a big heart and that big heart is causing him to take a lot of the things people are saying about him and to him to heart and that he (bbh) thinks people should take that in account as a community and to be nice and chill, to stop being jerks

and repeated his point that because someone is friends with someone that they do not endorse their every action, and that he knows people don't believe that irl and so that they should stop believing that on twt

(in the middle of this he reiterated that he does not speak for tommy, that that are just his thoughts)

he clarified that he is picking onto only one narrow issue with the situation and that this doesn't speak for all of the reactions on the case, and that he just wants to speak on this issue specifically because he has seen it a lot and it's important to him

he then talks about a twt thread someone sent him and proceeds to read it after apologising for being so emotional about this, since he thinks this is a serious issue in the community and theres need to be compassionate, that people shouldn't immediately jump at the worst conclusions

before reading the thread he also interrupts himself to talk about a point someone made and being careful not to name drop them, talking about cc's being attacked/held accountable for past mistakes and wrongdoings, by saying that:

everyone makes mistakes, is selfish, is wrong, he doesn't care who you are, you are not perfect, but that with cc's their mistakes are recorded, filmed, on twt and youtube on twitch and that theory are there forever, and so people can easily find a catalogue of all their mistakes and that they do not understand that those mistakes happend years ago or in the course or years, they did not do those mistakes all in one day, they happened in the past

he talked about cc's fearing speaking about the toxic side of their communities because they would be attacked or cancelled for it

he admitted that he was rumbling since this was off the cuff, as he put it, but that he was simply talking from his perspective as a cc

he then started reading this thread:

https://twitter.com/barbz4dream/status/1403825864442269699?s=19

after reading it he clarified that he did not 100% agree or disagree with the thread, but that it was a great starting point for discussion because a lot of the things they said about the community was on point, that he thinks that the community pushes a culture to be toxic against someone being barely critical against a cc and that people should be critical but that people should be courteous and that people are not obligated to like them (the cc's)

that he saw recently on twt a lot of a mentality that people cannot change past their mistakes and a lot of assumptions about people behind closed doors and their relationships

he finished by reiterating that people should be kind, treat people like they would like to be treated, that you should be kind to everyone,  and that when it comes to cc's, while you are one person it may feel like not much damage, comparing it to someone throwing one pebble, that there are thousands or other that will throw stones at the same time.

this is so long but is basically a barely paraphrased transcript of what he said, make of it what you will, hope is clear to read enough, I can't bring myself to check and edit it rn since I'm busy

Thank you sm!!!

#i’ll take some time to mull it over before making an opinion #ask #long post

[its-chelisey-stuff]

‘Love and Redemption’, eps 41-50 (at this point I just feel pain)

I wanna take a moment and address the situation properly: WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK SIFENG? YOU DO THIS EVERY.SINGLE.FUCKING.TIME. You sacrifice everything for this woman everytime. You have a 99.9999999 % of disregard for your person is actually a wonder you came this far into life or maybe not if we take into account the other 9 incarnations and the one in heaven.

I can't believe the biggest reason why I love this character so freaking much is also the only reason that makes me mad at him, because it leads to his death, demise, destruction, ending, fin, whatever you want to call it, always. His only flaw is also his biggest strength depending on what day of the week or in which part of the drama he is living.

He loves Xuanji impossibly too much.

I mean... this is a drama that has deities, demons and mortals, all aware of the others' existence. I've seen dragons and weird creatures that rank from adorable to wtf scary. There are mermen who are doctors. Snakes that can turn into people and become spiritual pets!!! All of that is okay by me. I barely react to any of it. Oh, sure, you can fly on your swords? Pretty cool. By far the most fantastical thing on this drama, the one that makes me react with incredulity and wonder, is the love Sifeng feels for Xuanji.

Never ever in a million years could it be true in real life (and not only because of the fantasy elements) but that's the greatest thing about this drama. That's why I love it so much. And it makes me angry.

The whole time on ep 45 when Xuanji almost killed Sifeng by using something her senior gave her, had me screaming in desperation. Xuanji, you moron!! Thank goodness for WuZhiQi.

When the drama started, I kept looking for the big bad TM guy. As I've learned with the few costume cdramas I've seen, villains never show themselves right away. So, I wasn't expecting Dijun to be the crazy manipulating possessive obsessive bitch he turned out to be and I wasn't prepared for how much I was going to hate his character. In these last ten eps, I reached the height of my patience, my sanity limit, and I just really wanted someone to kill him everytime he opened his heavenly mouth. Damn, I wish Sifeng had really done that, instead of just being framed by the crazy bitch. 

To me, Yuan Lang nor the star of Mosha are the bad guys. It's him. 100% him. I want OTP to take revenge on him because I fear he is guilty of a lot more than we know. But woud I be lucky enough to have it my way? *sighs*

Listen, I love Tengshe and apparently someone in the drama does as well I said it on my previous post but it's important to say it again because he keeps solving things and moving the plot ahead. This is the kind of character you want introduced (if you need to) later in any story. He went to heaven and snuck onto the forbidden library, snooping on top secret records and even went into Dijun's private chambers, to look for information or any clues on Xuanji and her past. And once he did it he descended to the mortal realm and helped Sifeng stop a catastrophe and even lectured the stupid mortals on their stupidity. On these eps, he was my fave character along with Sifeng.

The mortals are stupid, as I've stated. My Linglong went through a bunch of shit, so I dare not to say anything about her, but what about the rest of the mortals? The sect leaders with their hypocrisy and so called good ways, I almost spit blood from anger lol cdramas would make you say that. But seriously, why is it that no mortal dared to think rationally? Why are they so dumb? Xuanji's driving force in believing Sifeng was her love for him and how much she didn't wanted him to be bad, but she didn't really used her brain to think about the fact that the the evidence and what she knew were contradictory. Oh, Xuanji. You were never the brightest but I always thought your love for Sifeng could work as your conscience. And because of that, you deserved to suffer a bit when you found out how mistaken you were. Karma.

The only resourceful people here are the demons (good and bad). They get things done and I'm so happy that even though Sifeng had a crazy suicide plan that was making every mortal hate him, he had a support system and good friends by his side, that knew the truth and trusted him. Hell, Wu ZhiQi had just met him and he was already saving his life and trying to stop him from doing something crazy spoiler: he failed. These demons were such a heavy contrast with the humans. Is ironic, truly, that the "monster race" was being more honorable and actually using their heads unlike the "civilized" mortals. *Sighs deeply and shakes head* Tragic.

Wasn’t expecting to like Wu ZhiQi so much, so fast, but I do. And he is such a mood! Plus, anyone who likes Sifeng and tries his best to help him, is on my good list.

What a creepy nauseating move, to try to take her away on her wedding day eww disturbing as heck. I don't know what forms of therapy are like in this world, this period of time, but if killing her kidnapper/rapist/stalker is going to help my Linglong heal and put the nightmare behind her, then I cannot tell you how happy I was that it was her, the one who sent him to hell. And I got to see her fight like the badass she is. Please, please, drama. Let her be happy now. She deserves it. 

Is so Sifeng of him to try and save Xuanji literally 15 minutes after she just tried to kill him. As angry as I was, I couldn’t help but swoon lol because here he is, desperate to save the woman he loves, no matter what things she’s done. He can’t just stand there and watch her die.

Sifeng fell for Xuanji on the Heavenly realm a thousand years ago! We still don't know the full story, but I was so happy to get a confirmation on it, and do correct me if I'm wrong, but I think Dijun didn't recognize Sifeng? Or maybe he pretended not to? Everybody from 1000 years ago recognizes Xuanji, but no one has done it with Sifeng. And yet, he clearly was there. That's weird, right? I mean, he took a few heavenly lashes for Xuanji. And he freaking was the one to stop her punishment AND he descended after her (more like fell, heh). Who on earth was this guy? Why did he have so much influence or power over what gets to be done about her? I'm not curious anymore. That doesn't describe what I feel. I'm craving for the answer, I need it.

Ah. These two. Maybe this isn't the one sided love I thought it was, after all. Maybe Xuanji did like him before becoming a mortal. But... There are so many things that I still don't get. I got a few answers but also way more questions.

I don't want this story to end, but Sifeng and tbh Xuanji too, have suffered too much already. I gotta say that I wasn't so happy with Xuanji, in fact I was very annoyed with her especially when she drew in a sword through Sifeng's chest wtf but I can't hate this girl and tbh my love for Sifeng is greater than my annoyance/hate towards Xuanji, which means that as long as Sifeng is happy and smiling, I don't care if it's with Xuanji and if she doesn't suffer nearly a half of as much as he does. There has been enough suffering on their tenth reincarnation alone that we don't even need to take into account the other 9 lives. They deserve ALL the happiness in the world.

Hehe but that won't come easily. I'm bracing myself because I think the very worst (and the painful answers) is in the last 9 episodes but hey, it'd be worth it, theres a happy ending. That's what keeps me going 😜

Edit: lmao I just realized that I didn’t talk about the biggest revelation of all, which is that Xuanji is not only the God of War but ALSO the Star of Mosha. How does that even work? Sifeng has tried to investigate and Tengshe as well, but there’s only so much that’s recorded on the official papers, so far they’re the only ones that know the truth and Sifeng’s best bro (who found out bc there’s only one person/reason why Sifeng would ever say he’s the Star of Mosha). Looking forward to finding out the whole story.

#love and redemption #cdrama #cheng yi #crystal yuan #yuan bingyan #chu xuanji #yu sifeng #i don't want this to end

[mayraki]

🍟 Miss gorl how does one do social ✨things✨without having a ✨panic✨attack✨bcs like I can't even get a train and all my friends live far away enough I'd have to get a train or bus to them

i used to be really shy so i know what you mean

these are a couple of things that helped me get better with social stuff and be that bad bitch everyone is meant to be:

- first of all, make a playlist with badass bitch songs. songs that make you feel good, make you feel that girl power, I have a thousand of songs to recommend, let me know if you want a list. I would gladly do it for y’all. then, whenever you feel bad or you’re about to go out, put that playlist on. dance around, sing, it doesn’t matter if it’s bad, DO IT. around the house, your room, wherever. when you’re in the street and your feeling anxious, put it on. breathe and keep going. music ALWAYS helps.

- talk to yourself. look at yourself in the mirror and have a conversation. it doesn’t matter the topic, doesn’t matter if it doesn’t make scene, doesn’t matter if it just you letting words out, just talk. let yourlsef see how funny and amazing you are. (for example, some of the conversations on my fics came about because I was having the conversation out loud while doing something else.) fuck it, HAVE AN ENTIRE SCENE TALKING TO YOURSELF.

- I you have a bad moment, don’t punish yourself for it. it happens, one day you think you’re the baddest bitch and the other you look in the mirror and find yourself saying “ugh you ugly as fuck” it happens to all of us! we’re humans, that’s how we work. we change, we progress, don’t hate yourself for feeling bad. what you can do is understand why you feel like that, let yourself go through it, help your mind forget about it. (music!!! taking a nap, reading a book, watching a movie)

- you have to start getting out of your comfort zone. take little steps every day, you have trouble getting on the bus? ok, ask a friend to go with you or go, and put on the playlist you made. keep your mind busy. at the end of the day, everyone there on the bus is on their own world, nobody is looking at you. believe me.

- if you fell like people are judging you, THEY AREN’T. that’s just your mind playing tricks on you. just like you’re too focus on yourself and what you’re doing, overthinking everything, the people around are doing the same thing with themselves. being too focused on their own self.

- LAUGH. LAUGH AT EVERYTHING. when I tell you this helps, THIS FUCKING HELPS. I used to be embarrassed of everything I did, when I started doing this I stopped giving a fuck. you fall? laugh! you tongue gets twisted and you tumble on your words? laugh! even if it’s fake. laugh until you make it. if you fall in front of strangers, LAUGH! laugh by yourself. think this, of the people that you saw fall on the street, do you remember their faces? no! so, the people that saw you won’t remember you. laugh it off and keep going, tell it to your friends as a funny story and keep going. that’s with everything!

I used to hate being the center of attention, I didn’t like it. now, I don’t give a fuck if people look at me or not. these are a couple of things that helped me. literally everyone is own their own worlds to give a fuck about you. now I can dance at parties and be myself, be crazy and have fun. this is going to sound super cliche, but it’s true. self love has a little bit to do with everything that you feel, and it takes time. I’m not saying that when you love yourself 100% it’s going to take away the anxiety that sometimes we feel, that’s another thing, but it does help to feel better about one and not feel it as deep. hope this helps and don’t hesitate on asking more questions about this topic!! (there are a lot of more things, but these are the ones that are coming to me right now)

celebrate 1.9k followers with me!

#friends #1.9k followers

[your-turn-to-role]

for the cr asks: 1, 7, 19, 29

hey, thanks!

1) How did you first discover Critical Role?

uh, friends, mostly. i was one of the later people in my friend group to get into it, though i’m definitely the one who’s gotten the most obsessed with it now 😂

i have one friend who’s been following it since the really early days, like early 2016 or something? and was very into taliesin’s characters (they have a very similar aesthetic), but stopped after molly died

another friend who’s more into dnd shows just bc she really likes dnd rather than particularly for the story has also been into it for ages, and was pestering me to watch for at least a year before i actually did

(not that i didn’t think i’d like it, it just takes me forever to get into stuff bc when i get into a fandom i get super into it and then am resistant to leave it, and there’s a limit to how many characters i can hold in my brain at once, also because starting a new thing that has literally thousands of hours of content is intimidating as fuck)

but it was also just, fanart of jester on tumblr? she didn’t even end up being my fave of the m9 (though i definitely love her), but she’s 100% my aesthetic to the core, and seeing a lot of art of her around i was like “okay i wanna know who this girl is bc she seems cool”

and then about, idk, 9-10 months ago i started cr2? and fell in love with nott within about two seconds of her speaking, which made me listen long enough to fall in love with the other characters as well, and then after i caught up (which was just before ep 73 aired, i was watching it with more or less all of my free time) i watched campaign 1 in a similar fashion and here we are

7) Do you have any official CR merch?

does explorer’s guide to wildemount count? or the vox machina origins comics? bc if so, i have those (digitally anyway)

but in terms of most actual merch, no, not yet, i’m not 100% ruling it out, but i live in new zealand so shipping is a huge pain and i haven’t come across anything yet that is both within my price range and that i care enough about to pay a shit ton for shipping

(honestly, would have bought any of the dice sets, but the only one that’s been out while i’ve been in the fandom was the whitestone opalite dice and those were suuuper expensive)

(real pretty though)

19) Who’s your favorite CR cast member (Matt, Laura, etc.)?

ohhhhhh that’s so hard to choose. every time i think of any one person at least four others show up in my head like “hey what about us!”

i think i’ll just answer this by saying my favourite things about each of them

matt - really cool person. really fun storyteller. so much more of a dork when not being a DM, it’s not a side of him we get to see often but it’s one i’d love to see more of! i’m still amazed he does this every week when he’s said a couple times he hates being on camera, like... matt, how do you do that. i am a little in awe of you

travis - i love his whole approach to rping? like the whole “you have to take risks at every possible opportunity because whether it succeeds or fails, it’s always worth the chance you’ll make something amazing”. he’s highly relatable as an adhd player. also he’s said he doesn’t want to put romance stories in his dnd characters and i get very attached to characters that could be headcanoned as aro so i really appreciate that

marisha - she’s fucking badass. i am constantly in awe of her bravery to continue to play her characters really well when she gets so much hate with them. also, she’s a really good actor? i feel like no one says it enough but she really is. love all her liveshow outfits.

liam - now, i’ve been that one theatre kid who was way too obsessed with hamlet at like age 15? so like... i feel you, liam. love the places he goes with his characters. love everything about vax. love the language he uses while rping and the small little gestures he comes up with that add so much to a character, i’ve written a couple posts on it

sam - now, on one hand, sam is the cast member i relate the least to. on the other, he did make nott who i love with all my heart. i’m also just really impressed by everything he comes up with as scanlan, especially the super long ode to vax which had to be at least partially improvised/written during that episode

laura - continually dedicated to proving you can make female characters that are super detailed and full of depth while also always being down to make stupid dick jokes. really good actor. very cute and very ridiculous. also, [harp music] ~laura bailey~

taliesin - i love his dedication to being goth, queer, and colourful all at once? bc big fucking mood. love his characters, love his weirdness, love his random pockets of obscure knowledge that occasionally come up on the show and everyone’s like “how the fuck do you even know that”

ashley - is it not enough to be gay and in love with ashley johnson? but no seriously she’s super cool and also a dork and i adore her

29) What’s the most devastating CR PC defeat/death?

i mean..... it’s gotta be molly, right?

like percy’s first death and vax in the finale were both heartwrenching as fuck, but both kinda felt like they were meant to happen? percy, while he came back and i’m glad he did (which also helps make it not the most devastating), taliesin had kinda planned for that to be the end of percy, and it did tie things up in that tragic way his character archetype often goes. had that been permanent, it would have hurt, but it would have felt fitting. and vax, god, i will never be over dalen’s closet, but he had a lot of time to come to grips with his own death and that made it, more cathartic rather than just painful

but molly was just, i mean i knew it was coming before i even started watching, i tried my best not to get attached and then got attached anyway

and i really love what it did to the plot and the characters and i wouldn’t trade away caduceus now we’ve really gotten to know him

but goddamn did that have an impact

#cr thoughts #cr1 #cr2 #ask #crit role cast #mollymauk tealeaf #percy de rolo #vax'ildan #text #kaetor

[mauriacs]

I feel like my quiz answer wasn’t 100% accurate and I was wondering if you could please publish all the different possible answers just to have a look at bc I love how you write and know there must be one that resonates 💕

the rest of them are under the line break - i didn’t really pay attention to matching up the answers to the descriptions bc i was too busy crying doing other things so like, go forth and resonate

The Winner Takes It All by ABBA

you love someone. you say, “oh, i’m over them. time to move on.”—you say this to everyone. your mother, your friends, yourself, in front of the mirror, watching as your skin twists around the words. but you love them, and there’s a gaping chasm in your chest. nothing seems to fill it. you wonder if they miss you too. maybe they haven’t even realised you’ve fallen apart. maybe they’re standing right behind you. maybe they’re a thousand miles away. maybe they’re both. they’re a parent, they’re a lover, they’re a best friend who you poured your soul out to when you were giggly and fourteen. maybe they’re you. still, time to move on, people to see, things to do, others to love (but never, it seems, as much as them). you hope they’re doing okay.

Five Years by David Bowie

you like crowds. not specifically human crowds – you like being crowded by trees, by birds, by air. you like the anonymity that comes with crowds. no one has the time to focus solely on you. you need these people. you invent their lives: the man with the broken arm (a back alley fight); the girl with the tote bag (her mother’s); the woman with the worry lines (a mother). you pour as much of yourself into them as you can so nothing can be left in you, so you don’t have to imagine this for yourself, so you can focus on any other life but your own. you’re desperate to be unseen, unheard, unnoticed. you also, equally desperately, want to be loved. i hope you are.

Goodbye Yellow Brick Road by Elton John

you are fixated on childhood. you may have completely removed yourself from it—the mud pies in the garden, rolling down the hills, uncaring—but you want it back. adulthood seems exciting, no doubt about that! autonomy, respect, the chance to go your own way. you’ve chased that road since you knew the meaning of the word, barrelling down the path to maturity just so you can, one day, get your own way. and now, as you see it panning out ahead of you, you look back—just this once—to the technicolour of childhood. you do it again. you do it again. you realise, one day, that you miss it most terribly. your childish wanderlust has gone, and now you’re in limbo—reaching forwards towards the next milestone and reaching back towards nostalgia and uncomplicated days.

Les pêcheurs de perles, “au fond du temple saint” by Georges Bizet

you don’t want to say goodbye. you miss them, sometimes so much that it kills you. one hug, one fucking hug, and you’d be okay. you’d do anything to see them, smell them, map the lines of their face with your eyes, map the pattern of freckles. they’ve just gone—vanished into thin air—and you keep thinking, you can’t stop thinking—i should have loved them more. you’ve never wanted anything so much in your life. to sit down with them, to love them, to thank them, to have them here. you’d do anything, absolutely anything, for them to be here, with you, right now. they’re growing faceless, in your mind. a figure without features, blackening your mind with absence. you want them. you miss them. i’m sorry.

Both Sides Now by Joni Mitchell

you’re numb. waves keep washing over you—hurdles, unexpected stumbles, horrible incidents, life-changing hurts—and the most they do is get your clothes wet. you are not taken into the riptide of anger and hurt that you see your friends pulled into occasionally. you figure, at first, that this way is better. you’re surviving. you’re holding on. you’re steadfast. and then you realise—oh. you’re feeling more than you’ve ever felt before. you’re hurting and the hurt is just bleeding out onto the floor around you, but you have a screen. you’ve seen friends (figuratively) die and spring back alive before you, hardly seeming to remember the fall. but you watched them drown. you watched the utter torture of it. so you resolve to spread it thin. feel it for longer. you’ll survive, at least.

Nobody Home by Pink Floyd

you’re desperately alone. you feel like you’re in the middle of a big, blank room. there are people in it—no doubt about that—but they walk through you. your friends tell you about their experiences together. you laugh for them. you love them, but you are appallingly worried that they don’t love you back, or don’t love you as much. as soon as you think you’re alone, everything becomes about solitude. you walk home alone. you lie awake in bed, alone. you bring up your hands to touch your face and pretend they’re someone else’s. you write poems or create art or make up a detailed scenario in your head, but that’s not real life. you want real life. you want someone to see you instead of watching you.

America by Simon & Garfunkel

you’re fake. everything you do seems to be for a false reason—to get affection, to get love, to get attention. you twist your face in the mirror and it seems like there’s a sheen of plastic covering it. you’re desperate to escape, to go somewhere and do something, but you’re afraid that your wanderlust is also fake and you’ll hate leaving. you’re worried that every emotion you’ve ever felt has been fake. what if everything you’ve ever done—every act of kindness, every compliment, every monotonous task—has been for a dishonest reason? what if everything you do is to project a carefully crafted image of yourself onto the world? what if you’ve never been genuine? you want to escape, you want to get out of yourself and this town and WHATEVER, but what if there’s nothing beyond your outer shell?

Why Does It Always Rain on Me? by Travis

you’re lost. everyone keeps talking to you—talking at you—and asking you questions that you couldn’t begin to know the answer to. “are you alright?” “how are you?” “what’s up?” you say okay. you’re too tied up to start to unravel the real answer. you look at yourself and you’re pretty convinced that you don’t like this stranger. they’re angry and whiny and they never seem to know what’s going on. get a grip, you want to say, but you’ve got your own problems to deal with. life doesn’t come down on you like a hurricane, or a tornado, but rather as rain. all it does is make you wet and cold. you have this turning cold knife of constant questioning in your chest, but you don’t know how to get rid of it. you don’t know what to ask. you don’t know how to ask. you’d sort of hoped there’d be more.

#one day i promise i'll create a quiz and put genuine effort in and make it less depressing and not so much about Me #but until that day.................. #lsdjflfsa #anon #asks #i used a bit of the same imagery in a couple of them bc i am unimaginative

[iampikachuhearmeroar]

okay, something that i really fucking hate both on this hellsite and even on facebook now, is people writing posts about those scammy bullshit survey sites where they’re all like “hey! i made $1,000 for a new phone by using this website! and all i have to do is sit and watch a few ads for a few brands and write some feedback!! sign up today!!!! *posts screenshots of their bank account to show that they’ve been paid certain amounts for certain surveys*” like im so used to it on this hellsite, that i’ve learnt to just scroll past those posts from those big blogs that endlessly reblog those posts.

but it really troubles me that bigger mainstream websites like buzzfeed and junkee (in australia) caught wind of it a while ago, and started to write/re-share articles about sites like swagbucks and toluna being good ways to make some backup cash on uni breaks or whatever. but they’re scams. you know how i know??? because i signed up to these sites for an experiment to see if i would get paid even just $5 for a survey or the sweepstakes (god knows fucking what really lmao) on one of the MANY sites that sites like toluna are also linked to. it’s an endless run around of stupid accounts that you forget that you signed up to. like for one website idk, surveycompare (which i’ve since stopped receiving emails from and i’ve deleted all those emails lmao) sent me to another website called mint surveys (if i remember correctly) and i had to sign up to that before i could used surveycompare or whatever the fuck bc they were somehow linked to each other. and i’ve since found a few more looking back in my emails, like opinionworld and mysurvey, which, again, were linked to each other or whatever. 

but my main rankle with this is that the sweepstakes winning or gift card or monetary reward they promised from whatever fucking website i was on, never got sent to me. i never got a $2.50 pay for some shitty 20 minute survey that i did. i never got a $25 paypal gift card sent to me via email or on that particular account. like i honestly dont know how the fuck these tumblr “micro-influencers” or “influencers” (if they can even be called that) and even mainstream media websites are just consciously getting people to sign up to scams. like okay. i know that the tumblr people are getting poached, in a sense. bc i got hit the other day with this bullshit from a bot or corporate account:

and these survey websites are the main sources of scams on this website.... and the fact that the tumblr influencers are peddling them to people in precarious positions (like low-income student payment uni students) or to impressionable young followers, as a good idea of idek a side hustle??? is beyond fucking ridiculous. as an fyi, you’d be extremely, extremely lucky to make even the “i got $50 for a survey!” bullshit claim..... when 95% of the ones i got sent were literally $2.50 or $5 or even maybe $15, but you’d never receive any of that money.... is fucking laughable. please shut the fuck up.

outside of tumblr, you’d think big media sites like junkee and buzzfeed would have some sense of accountability in telling uni students to join scam schemes.... but they fucking don’t. don’t join swagbucks. don’t join toluna. hell, don’t even fucking join neilson or whatever the fuck it is, no matter how much these popular posts with several thousand notes claims these sites are “legit” and “the best in the survey business!!! they’ve been doing it for like 100 years!!!”

just please fucking exercise some critical thinking and don’t join them. because they’re a huge fucking waste of your time.... and you’ll never actually receive that gift card or that sweepstakes prize or that prize of $50 for completing some bullshit customer feedback or whatever...... unless you spend literally every single fucking waking moment of your fucking day on those sites. i’ve done some of it for you with this post.

#life #about me #shut up ilona #ilona whines about her shitty fucking life to her followers lol #ilona tries to give advice #tumblr is legit my fucking life now #help me escape this vortex hellsite 2k19 #tumblr/internet stuff #ilona rants about shit #im not bragging about my number of followers btw #as well as those fucking ugly clothes website posts #okay the clothes ones are slightly more legit probably but still #they're fucking ugly lmao

[jokerfic]

Do you ever find it hard to push yourself to keep writing/to finish a fic? I really admire your works, especially pastimes, because you write both good quality and a good quantity with your stories. I find i'll plan out this long fic, and know all the details, but when it comes to writing more than a few chapters I find it difficult to continue. I don't know if it's just me getting bored of my own idea or being lazy but, do you have any advice for seeing a story through to the end?

Oh, it’s hard forrrr suuuuure. There’s a post floating around about how Charles Dickens shouldn’t be given credit for his prolificity bc he didn’t have streaming services and it strikes me to my core every time I see it. It’s part of why I like Neil Gaiman’s writing advice more than anyone else’s (in no small part because it’s really advice, not rules for you to follow– I hate “writing advice” that’s really a bunch of “don’t EVER use adverbs” and “write only in the mornings!” and other things that only cage you in rather than making you feel free)– it basically boils down to “write anything, write everything, just make the time to write.”

and generating content is just one part of the multi-pronged problem– the second is generating content for a specific project, consistently enough that you actually finish it, lol. some people would have you believe that if you love a project enough then it’ll always come naturally (and imply or even outright say that if it doesn’t come naturally, you don’t really love it– side note, I like some of Charles Bukowski’s poetry but he can eat my entire ass with that “if it doesn’t come easily then it’s not what you’re meant to be doing” idea). That’s only part of it. A thousand writers better than I am have already said that love/“inspiration” only gets you so far, and after that comes the work.

I’ve found that to be true. Not that the love doesn’t come back! I’m constantly falling in love and out of love with different WIPs, and each time I fall back in, I get a little bit (or a lot!) more done, but there’s definitely a point where I say “okay, I’m not allowed to work on anything else until x book is finished.” (Whether or not I stick to that resolution is a different matter.) Honestly, it happens the most with jokerfic because I have a small but active and devoted audience and I start to feel THE GUILT if I leave them too long without new content bc they’re so loyal and it has to be a symbiotic relationship or it’ll 100% die.

idk, man, I’m mostly musing out loud here because writing is work, and it might be fun work, and fulfilling work, but you have to allot time and energy to it specifically, and if you do want to finish and publish something on the longer side (fanfic or original), you have to be the one to decide to put that time and energy into it– no one else can do it for you.

All that to say: you have to figure out what motivates you, and what’s important to you. Personally I’m motivated by a moderate dose of ambition and just a little bit of spite (I see writers I don’t like flourishing, I think “I can do better than that,” and it’s good for at least a few pages), as well as feedback from readers and the desire to be able to re-read the specific, finished work whenever I want to. Probably more significantly, and not to be morbid: it’s extremely important to me to get these stories out there and not let them die with me. Listen, I may be a slow writer, but I live and breathe storytelling, it’s the majority of what I think about, and there’s very little that kicks me in the ass like the realization that time is coming for me and all of us, and I don’t have an unlimited amount of it to waste. So what’s important to you, what’s worth spending your time on? Rewatching a TV show you’ve seen all the way through 3 times already? or making something new and sharing it with people, connecting to people through a story that’s important to you?

of course, you can’t and shouldn’t aim to be productive all the time, you’re not made for it, you need to live your life in addition to doing your work. Stephen King says you have to read a lot if you want to write well, and I agree with him. It’s harder to write people if you’re never around people! Some days you are just gonna NEED to veg out in front of the TV (or tumblr) because you don’t have the energy, mental or otherwise, for anything else. you have to read books, watch movies and tv, spend time with people, live your life, have experiences, if only so you’ll have more to draw from when you are working.

Outside of that normal “living life” stuff, I’d focus on trying to trim things that you know are a waste of time, or that drain your energy without reward. Delete the social media you can do without (or outright hate but for some reason haven’t pulled the plug on yet). If you’re sitting down to write, then write, even if you have to use an app to block out the million distractions that are just a click away. If you can, try and make friends that write so you can egg each other on (there are a lot of writing Discords out there that may be helpful). I personally like reading or watching interviews with artists (not even just writers) that inspire me or that I relate to– the richness of David Milch’s mind and the way he seamlessly ties together humanity, community, history, and art makes me want to work harder and be better so that someday I can be a fraction as good as he is, I found out like yesterday that Donna Tartt and I have basically the same process (and take about as long to finish a thing lol), Jack White’s live performances energize me and make me want to create, Tom Waits is a natural born storyteller and funnyman who weaves such a thick atmosphere and mythology for himself with every word that I feel compelled to try and do the same.

and that’s it, that’s the process that consistently results in the most productive work for me: I read or watch other creators I admire until I’m whipped up into a frenzy of needing to do something, then I get in front of a screen and do it. When the excitement runs out, I pretend it hasn’t until it comes back (with mixed success, but really, “fake it till you make it” is an EVERGREEN piece of advice in almost every area). I try not to let too many months slip away without having something finished and semi-polished to show for my time. That’s about the only way I know how to do it anymore.

#Anonymous #meandering writing advice that may or may not help at all bc everyone has a different process #feat. a dollop of existential dread naturally #I know I linked to a full documentary. shut up. #honestly though: find people that inspire you. people with broader horizons than yours #so you can see through THEM what you haven't been able to see before by yourself. #learn from artists you admire! if you can identify WHAT you like about their work then they're the best teachers you'll find #anyway guess who's on a reading/writing kick and feeling like she's unlocked THE SECRETS lol #it'll fade eventually like it always does and then I'll go through the whole cycle again. so it goes #but yeah do yourself a favor and install that Cold Turkey app I linked to #nothing will get a thousand words out of you like knowing your computer is locked until you write them #also I may have talked about this before but that Tom Waits interview I linked to? #some people are CONVINCED that Heath Ledger used it as inspiration for his Joker-voice #I don't buy it but it's a nice thought bc I love them both 🖤 #I'm rewatching that interview rn-- it's one of my favorites; he was my age at the time-- and it kills me I'm literally in love with him lol

[ninesoftkids]

ship ur mutuals with skidz! bringing this ask meme back cause y not! friendship! woo! 💓❤️💓💖💗💕💞❣️💗❤️💞❣️

Aayyy, I love these asks! Unfortunately, Stray Kids only has nine members :( so I’ve finished the rest of my mutuals with other idols I think fit! I hope that’s ok lmao. Right. (It’s gonna be quite long so i’m going to insert the line thingy) Here we gooooo :D

·        Woojin – Andy. Thefirst person to fight your corner, but sometimes they lack belief inthemselves. An essential part of our family, just like Woojin. One of the mostcaring people I’ve met, but also definitely one of the most chaoticallyencouraging people ever. Don’t let them eat the trees. @haknveons

·        Minho – Roxi. Two bubblypeople with serious visuals! But don’t let their cuteness fool you – there’sdemons hidden beneath the angel exteriors. Just as Roxi loves to both hurt andheal us with gorgeous pictures of our faves, Minho loves to tease. The push-and-pullrelationship. Roxi the Angel, and Minho the Devil. But he cares deeply, andwould always listen to whatever worries you had. You can expect cute good nightmessages and missed Skype calls that are made up with a thousand nose kisseswhen you finally see each other. The Opposites Attract Couple @lxx-fxlix

·        Chan – Syd. Bluntand honest, forthright with their beliefs, I think Chan and her would have amazingphilosophical arguments that would end in cuddles and Disney on the sofa whilethey throw popcorn at each other. Chan could teach you Korean, and you canteach him your slang :D Also that height difference would be cute af. @hwarang-my-loves

·        Hyunjin – Mer. Twoanimal lovers with visuals to merder. 😉 You share the cutestgiggles and are always down for pillow forts and cuddle piles. Fancy dinnerwho? Give you two pizza and some fluffy dogs and you’re good to go. You’d takethe best pictures of each other and you’d be the Aesthetic Couple @softstan4softboys

·        Changbin – Liz. Edgelord?Bitch, where? Like Changbin, your aesthetic is the opposite of your personality.You’re both whole dorks who love fiercely and are genuinely amazing people. Plus,I just really like imagining Changbin doing aegyo for the last Cadbury’schocolate or something and you judging him so hard, but doing the exact samething thirty seconds later. Softies. Both of you. The Tsundere Couple @darkaegyo

·        Jisung – Hae. Two kidswith unbelievable and unending energy. Plus the visuals? God damn you’d look sogood together. Another Aesthetic Couple. Give the two of you energy drinks andyou’ll be bouncing off the walls. Expect midnight runs to your local supermarket,throwing grapes into each others mouths, cute holiday vlogs where Jisung triesto befriend a squirrel and you throw peanuts at him. @squirrelboiii

·        Felix – Csen. He’dlove to watch you draw in the park while he kicks a ball around with the boysand pretend he’s not trying to figure out who you’re drawing – he hopes that it’shim. Teaching each other to cuss in other languages. He’d roll his eyeswhenever you scream over Namjoon or a Stray Kids Comeback but secretly love howexcited you get about things you love. The sarcasm also runs strong in thisship. Cute selfies returned with a ‘I did it better’. 100% down to prank eachother. The Friends to Lovers Trope we all adore. @lee-minho

·        Seungmin – Esther.People can’t decide if you’re the most savage or the most soft couple to exist.You both put so much thought into what you do for others and you’re so treasuredby everyone who gets to call you a friend. Birthdays are always anticipatedbecause you try to outdo each other in what presents you get each other. You metat a theme park, both the odd person in a group and having to sit next to eachother on a ride. When the ride ends you leave the others to find some ice creamand drinks – and it isn’t your fault that you forgot you arrived with otherpeople. The Meet-Cute we all deserve. @goddamngyu

·        Jeongin – Charz. Thelittle sister we all wish we had. You and Jeongin would be the cutest ok. You’dcompete at baking and force the boys to choose which is better without themknowing whose is whose (you’d both try to bribe the boys beforehand) You’ddance long into the night, not watching the time and just laughing at eachother’s attempts at popular dances. You were probably introduced through mutualfriends at a bonfire, and spent the night arguing over who had the best randomfacts. The Must Protect Couple @strayedtoofar

And now my other mutuals! :D

·        Tayla – KimSeokjin, BTS. Both visuals and Jin would help raise your self-confidence levels byalways taking pictures of you looking cute and bragging to the boys about you. Absolutedorks, with ridiculous nicknames to match. You steal his shirts and he pretendsnot to notice because his jumpers give you sweater paws and it’s adorable. But thosesweater paws come in handy when he tells a particularly bad pun and one lookfrom Yoongi has you whapping one sleeve across his arm, despite laughing atleast as hard as Jimin. Couple Goals. @mindieu

·        Ash – Lee Jihoon, SVT. You’re another Opposites Attract Couple, but both of you makeme want to cuddle the shit out of you. Both completely adorable, you probablymet like one of your AU’s :p A penpal thing that your friends mischievouslysigned you up for and it grew from there. You’ll send him Kpop memes and thoughhe won’t understand many of them, the second he sees his face he’ll be like ‘hey!It’s me!’ He hates aegyo but he’ll do it to make you smile, even at the expenseof his dignity in front of the other members. The Pen Pal trope that I am anabsolute sucker for. @lovelyhoonie

·        Stacia – KimTaehyung, BTS. Infectious laughter would follow you everywhere you went, and you’dalways be touching each other in some way – holding hands, an arm wrappedaround your waist, you name it. Also secretly evil – together with Jungkook,you prank the shit out of the other members and no one ever links it back toyou. And why would they? Both of you have Angel faces. The Trouble Maker Couple @softtrasshh

·        Jazz – Taeyong, NCT. Istill don’t know a lot about NCT, but I think your personalities would match sowell! Both fun loving and so caring and ready to give advice if people need it.You’d bond over your protective instincts and probably spend lots of time atsmall parties with close friends, laughing over good memories. @always-a-winwin

·        Ty – Jeongyeon,Twice. Neither of you could look like a mess if you tried. Goddess-tiervisuals, I swear. I also like to think that Jeongyeon sends really cutemessages to her members and always tries her best to make everyone feel better.And you’re literally the same, in that respect. You love angst so much, and youdon’t need a happy ending, so when she finishes a sad movie or novel, you’rethere to tease her back into laughter again. Neither of you are good for myheart and you fucking know it, you demons. Pet names between you range from ‘babygirl’ and ‘sweetheart’ to ‘nerd’ and ‘oi, you’. The Playful Relationship. @softspearb

·        Bri –  Kihyun, Monsta X. Outspoken about what youthink is right and wrong. Incredibly loyal and fun-loving. Always up for anadventure, and weekends will find you two trying to get lost in the city purelyfor the fun of it! The Adventurous Couple with so many stories to tell! @b-interest

·        K – Jennie, BlackPink.You seem kinda intimidating but you’re actual fluffballs. Always have eachothers backs, and spend your weekends at the park trying to get pictures of thecutest dog – loser has to buy ice cream. The Cute Couple @straychijeu

·        Roo – Jung Hoseok, BTS.You always try to see the best in people and in every situation. You’ve beenthrough difficult situations, but you smile your way through it with your headheld high and you always show concern for everyone else, sometimes forgettingthat you deserve to be cared for too!!!! @chanscurls

·        Tia – Jin Jin,Astro. Visuals for days and with smiles that make the sun jealous! I thinktogether you’d be the couple that always out and doing something. Trying a newrestaurant, racing each other down streets, going to karaoke rooms. Your IG isfull of, not necessarily aesthetic photos, but definitely short videos of JinJin doing something amusing and you laughing in the background, or you leaningon a fence pointing at ‘the view’ with a comment from him ‘you are the view’. TheCheesy Couple! @ ????

·        Flora – Youngjae,GOT7. Very affectionate and take the cutest selfies! If someone can’t find eitherof you, it’s because you’re hiding somewhere with ice cream and a movie. You loveteaching each other your own languages and laugh together over both yourattempts at the correct accents and pronunciation! @ ???

I cannot remember some of your URL’s so like…. can the rest of y’all link this to them bc i’m an awful human being lmao

#i love my mutuals with all my heart

[blue-shaded]

Hi Dolphin anon! It’s me again. Thanks for reading the whole long message, I did not realize how long it was while I was typing it out LMAO. Yeah I’ll concede a lot of your points as well, when I spoke on the reputation of the MC speedrunning community, I was more so speaking about it in terms of just the Minecraft community itself, I hadn’t really considered the perspective of those in other speedrunning categories, so fair enough! As for the moderating team, yeah, their legitimacy and fairness did get called into question but like I said in my last submission, I think this questioning was a little deserved. Geosquare was the one who was heading (or seemed to be taking the lead) on the Dream situation so most looked to him as the figurehead of the mod team, and I think by allowing his bias to affect how he handled the situation initially, I think he shot himself as well as the other moderators in the foot. So on that end, I think the bias deserved to be called out, but you’re, as always, welcome to disagree!

I also agree that he needs to say it more publicly on his twitter. He has a tendency to say it on his private account and in replies because he tends to be very reactionary. Usually if he makes a separate tweet on his alt or main twitter account, it’s after he’s already seriously replied to people or made a serious thread on his private, so he just starts making lighthearted jokes about the situation to try to get both sides to stop taking it seriously in hopes that they’ll stop sending hate and move on.

To his credit, I think he likes to more explicitly say that stuff on livestream. I don’t know how closely you saw or if you saw the Kaceytron situation at all, but when he went on her stream to discuss with her, he explicitly states “I do not condone any death threats or doxxing or any sort of hate” and I know he’s shared similar sentiments on other livestreams. But he definitely needs to have it somewhere on his main Twitter accounts where it’s easily accessible.

And yes I agree that things get trended way too easily, but I think people are too focused on the wrong thing (not you, just people with this argument in general). There have been multiple instances where POC fans try to get people to shut up or to stop livetweeting or to go private (so that their tweets don’t add to trending phrases) whenever important things are happening and while there are many people who listen, it’s unfortunately just not possible to stop it from trending. Because of how fans recieve the content (typically live, all reactions are immediate, whether it be in response to a content creator’s tweet or talking about a stream), there’s a tendency for a word or name or phrase to get repeated amongst several tweets. The Twitter trending algorithm tends to favor sudden influx of tweets over longevity. This is why you’ll sometimes see something MCYT-related at the top of the trending page despite the fact that it says it only has around 1,000-2,000 tweets, whereas other phrases and trends will have tens of thousands, if not hundreds of thousands, of tweets and still sit lower on the trending tab because those tweets slowly came in over throughout the course of the whole day rather than all at once.

If we’re focusing specifically on Dream and not MCYTs as a whole, he himself can average around a good 130K watchers, if not more, while streaming. Say that an important real world issue is being talked about on Twitter, and most people who are watching, aren’t tweeting about the livestream (either because they don’t use Twitter or they’re someone who knows of the situation and is being conscious and respectful to the community being affected by that situation) and that only 1% of the people watching that stream are still tweeting (whether bc they’re ignorant or bigoted or just don’t know of the situation. regardless, definitely a low-balled percentage). That’s still a sudden influx of 1.3K tweets and is still enough to put it near the top and if not the very top of the trending page. And it sucks and it’s dumb and people have tried to find ways around it. Many people in the community censor names if they’re livetweeting while something else is going on, the last time this happened, people censored karl as “k4rl” and k4rl got tweeted so much that it ended up trending anyways. So 100% get what you’re saying and I get the criticisms of the fanbase surrounding that, but I think it’s just a thing of Twitter needing to fix its algorithm because it should not favor sudden influxes over longevity like that.

If you want an upcoming example of this problem, I’d suggest for you to keep an eye on the trending tab on the 19th! Many black people within the community have been speaking up about Juneteenth and it’s importance to them as a community and that fans should try not to trend anything that day. Specifically they’ve asked Karl Jacob’s community (known as honktwt) to not post for honktwtselfieday, which happens every month on the 19th. These tweets have gained a lot of traction and have been seen by Karl Jacobs himself and he replied and said that he wouldn’t be posting for his selfie day and that he discouraged all of his fans from posting for this month’s selfie day either. Despite this, I’m almost entirely sure that a few people are going to be posting for the selfie day anyway (whether it be bc they’re ignorant n don’t care or they somehow don’t know), though it’s going to be much much less than the amount of people who would usually be postijgnfornthebselfiebday, but I’m sure you’ll see honktwtselfieday trending at some point on the 19th regardless.

Also! as for the shooters4dream tag, yeah, as an Asian, that was disgusting to see. I will say that it wasn’t the antis, though antis did boost it further by posting on it later on and saying to not use the tag (very. counterintuitive, but I digress). That tag came from inside the community as a joke (an incredibly poorly timed one). It’s a borrowed joke from the kpop community to say that you’re a shooter for ___, as in a defender of them, and some people were just being senseless when making the joke and it was really disheartening to see that people weren’t really thinking before using it. I think it’s since been widely addressed that shooters4___ probably isn’t a good joke to make at any time, so I think a lot of people have taken to saying shields for ___ instead.

I also don’t get the hate around the merch. I personally haven’t gotten any, but I don’t think it should come as a surprise to anyone that it’s just a smiley face when that’s his whole brand— the dream smile blob. People are obviously allowed to have their own tastes in clothes but the hate on that front seemed excessive. I think there are plenty of valid criticisms towards Dream, but I don’t think the topic of merch design is one of them.

As for your friend! Yeah I get that, and it’s sucks that she’s not practicing what she preaches. I think it’s very easy to get caught up on the toxicity of social media and it’s sounds like that’s what’s happened to her. Hope you do what’s best for you and your mental health! Like last time, this isn’t any hate towards you (in case any of it seemed like it was) and thank you to Blue for putting up with the longass submissions and for being a conduit for the conversation 💀

sdlkfjslkd don't worry about the long posts Passing on to dolphin anon.

[misformarvel]

Not too late

June 18th part 2

Summary: after five years without seeing each other, unsolved feelings between Tom and y/n still being there.

A/N: first of all, massive thanks to every one of you that read, liked, reblogged June 18th and ask me for a part 2. My life pretty much sucks at the moment and writing keeps me afloat. Your support is 100% appreciated and makes my day to day more bearable. I didn’t mean to make a part 2 of June 18th when I conceived it in my mind, but some complications in my routine made me cut it in a very frustrating way. I re-evaluate the end I wanted for the story, I hope you all like it, you’re 70% creators of this, I’m just putting it in words. 

Warnings: 

shitty use of the english language (probably more than ever bc I’m really lazy to edit this, if a mistake it’s tooo gruesome please correct me in the comments so I could change it). 

Fluff, angst (as always bc i’ve only two moods), probably mentions of sex. 

The stellar appearance of the one and only Jacob Batalon. 

W.A approx 1900 words -my longest yet-

If you’re reading this, I love you.

xx. Mel.

- “Happy New Year!”.

Everybody screamed and laughed. They turned to kiss the person they wanted to spent the year with. Everyone, except you, along with your champagne glass contemplating the city that delivered the person you’ve become. You don’t have someone to kiss, he wasn’t there. To be honest, if he’d be there you probably slap him instead of kissing. 

You’ve spent five years away from London and you made a new life. New friends, new job, new hobbies and habits. Tom was replaced as your best friend and as your love interest. Your love life was cancelled and is not like you haven’t slept with anyone in five years but they were just hookups. Dating doesn’t fit you, Jacob always says. Jacob. Your roommate and new best friend in the world. You couldn’t make it in this city without him, you just couldn’t. He’s so far the smartest, sassiest and most kind-hearted person you’ve ever met. Dating does fit him, except for his relative commitment issues. He and Lea have made it now for three years.

- Y/N is watching the fireworks, let’s join her! -. Lea had a champagne bottle in one of her hands and two cups in the other, her bright black eyes smiled at you with complicity. You guys met at the metro, while she was performing cello. You were the only person that stopped to hear her play and cheer her at the end of her performance. She started to cry because she had a dreadful day and you invite her to your flat, the building was right above the station. You didn’t know she was the mysterious girl your roommate has had a crush over for months. You became friends with Lea, and one thing leads to another, you set them together and were so proud of playing cupid with two of the most fantastic people you’ve ever met.  

You receive the text you were waiting for: “take it away baby” Jacob said and you instantly did your job. Suddenly, your best mate appeared with his ukelele, singing a beautiful traditional Hawaiian song, his voice shaking and tears filling his eyes. Tears of happiness. You smiled at the scene. Lea was standing there, looking at his boo with heart-eyes, leaving the bottle and cups over the little table you have on your balcony. 

- Turn around baby, our neighbours got something to tell you. 

Your job was send a text to the neighbours from the building across the street. You and Jacob planned this for months, actually, it was his idea but you were in charge of the “logistics”. So you knock at every door with a fruit basket trying to bribe you neighbours and get them to participate in Jacob’s proposal. There was no need, as soon as they’ve heard it was all about the “cello girl” and that nice guy from the flowers shop. 

“Marry me Lea, J”- The building across the street enlighted with the message of love. Lea fall in her knees, crying and laughing. Jacob sat beside her and gave her the ring. You were crying as a baby at this point, you even had snots and gave a gruesome spectacle. Your job was done, you leave the lovebirds alone and came back to the party, utterly happy for the future, optimistic as you’ve never been. 

Hey, hi. I’m Tom. y/n’s mum gave me your number. I’m an old friend from school and I’m in the city, so I was thinking of surprising her. HMU if you’re down to help me. 

Jacob knew the whole story about you and Tom. It was hard to understand but he did, and always had your back when you went backwards in your attempt at getting over Tom. It was hard for you but you seemed to be ok now, you didn’t need all that drama. And there it was a nice guy working in the store beside his flowers shop who he really liked and was into you. This text he received from Tom could fuck up so many things, but Jacob couldn’t lie to you. You needed to know. 

- “Boo, there’s something you need to know about y/n and her trip to London for her sister’s wedding”. Lea agreed with Jacob that you needed to know about Tom being in your city and wanting to meet you. The night of your sister and Sam’s wedding you and Tom kissed, and he “kinda” revealed his feelings for you, in a very poor way, according to Lea’s point of view. But when you came back to your city, running away from your feelings once more, you couldn’t just show up in your apartment, you couldn’t tell Jacob what happened. You went to Lea’s and spent two or three days until it was normal to you to come back after your family event. 

- “Why’d you hide me this y/n? We’re besties, we’re supposed to trust in each other. And not to mention you (Lea) knew it and shut about it till now. Perfect. Betrayed by my best friend and my future wife. This is too much”. 

-” Jacob don’t be mad at me. I didn’t know how to handle it. After all I did to stop having feelings for him”.

-”Poor Nick, he was so enthusiast about your date,” Jacob said about the guy from the store beside his. Yeah, homeboy already set you a blind date with him.

-”Who’s Nick!?” You replied, even tho Jacob talked about this fella a thousand times since they met. “Listen, Jake, I’m not gonna see him anyways, I told him I can’t do this”. 

- “Shut your face, is so obvious you’re still in love with him. But of course you’re not gonna see him, not until I meet him and say a couple of things” Jacob said, his index pointing at you, overprotective brother mode on. 

- “Guys there’s still a party out there in your living room, dontcha want to wait for them to go to have this screamy fight?” Lea said softly, lookin’ even smaller than she already was. 

- “She’s right. We’re gonna have a proper talk tomorrow”. You left the room, rolling eyes at Jacob that looked at you with disappointment. In four years living together, you’ve never fought over anything. 

You lit your cigarette. The night was cold and it puts you in the mood. You promised your mum you were going to quit it, but you couldn’t help yourself on nights like this. There was a park a couple of blocks apart from your building, it reminded you of Richmond Park in Kingston, near your home. Every time you went for a walk you remembered your mornings and afternoons with the Hollands at the park, walking your dog and their staffy Tessa. God, you missed it. And you hated you didn’t have time and a proper place to have a dog of your own. Anyways, the park is a great place to think and lit your occasional cigarettes in the cold nights of your city. 

You were walking by, thinking about how much you’ve fucked it up with Jacob and Lea on their engagement night (and New Year’s Eve). You remembered you haven’t called your sister or Sam to explain them why’d you left their party without saying goodbye. You only received a text from Harry calling you a coward, and other from Harrison, saying he was upset you haven’t met on your time in London. Nothing from Tom. Not a single word. And now he was asking Jacob to participate in “a surprise” he wanted to give you. Your blood boiled, contrasting with the snowy weather.   

-“He does know you, he’s indeed your best mate now”. That voice you’d recognize anywhere, anytime. It gave you goosebumps. 

- “What are you doing here?”, you told him without looking at him and dragging the rest of your cigarette furiously. 

- “I should’ve taken a cab that night and follow your car to the airport. I should’ve stopped you there, kissed you again, hold you in my arms and never let you escape from me again. But I didn’t, because I’m a pussy y/n, I don’t have the guts”. Tom came closer, his face centimetres apart from yours. “I want you y/n, so bad”. 

Everything was shaking inside you. He’s nothing but what you’ve always wanted. You’ve never loved someone because you were so busy being his. He mumbled something in your ear, your bodies real close, fingers intertwined, synchronized heartbeats.

“I’m freezing Tom,” you interrupted the kiss that was imminent. “Let’s go to my hotel” he replied, and a few minutes later you were making out inside the elevator on your way to his hotel room. Your mind was occupied with so many things you couldn’t enjoy the moment you’ve been waiting since you were, like, fourteen years old. He leads you across the hall, never breaking the kiss, his hands everywhere, his lips always pressed to yours. 

- “are you sure?” he asked when it was pretty obvious you were more than down to do it. You didn’t reply, just kissed and wrapped your legs around his waist, pulling him closer, where you needed him the most. 

“Seven years ago, I was looking for a new place, and you know how hard it is in this goddamn city. -People laughed at Jacob first words- I found the perfect place, but there was a problem, this cute babe from London was interested in it too. She was way more practical than me so she proposed to share the apartment. And that’s the story of how I met the bride. Now, I’ll talk about the groom. Ah that motherfucker… Two years ago, the cute babe from London who became my best friend leave me for a couple of days, she was attending to her sister’s wedding. Before she left, she helped me to plan the way I’d propose to my lovely wife here present -Jacob turned to see Lea at his side, with a heavy baby bump and a big shiny smile on her lips-. My poor best friend spent five years away from her family in England because she was heartbroken. What she didn’t know was the cause of the deplorable state of her sentimental life was as miserable as she was. This, my fellow guests, is what I call a story of misunderstood. How people can get hurt because they can’t express their feelings. How much we could hurt others because we don’t understand our own feelings. That’s how I met the groom, helping him to express he understood, finally, that he couldn’t live without her by his side. This is how I helped him to demonstrate is never too late. Is not too late for love, never. So, my speech may have been long and incoherent, but I’m at my best friends wedding, I’m about to become a dad and I’m a little bit tipsy. Here's to y/n and Tom, the bride and the groom”. 

Tom took your hand and kissed your knuckles while you gave him a heart-eyes look. Then he placed his hand on your incipient baby bump and looking straight at your eyes repeat Jacob’s words:  “Is not too late for love, never”. 

I’ll tag the ones asking for a part 2, thank you guys, I hope you like this! @clairesrainbow @littlemisscaligirl @johnmurphys-sass

#tom holland #tom holland fic #tom holland smut #tom holland imagine #jacob batalon #harrison osterfield #tom holland x reader #tom holland x you #tom holland fluff #tom holland angst

[carraville]

 year in fic review (2017)

using the wonderful @neyvenger​ ‘s template! everyone should do this i wanna read <3

Year at a glance:  Total number of completed stories: 25 (26 if u count hockey) Total word count:  146929

Overall Thoughts:

Looking back, did you write more fic than you thought you would this year, less, or about what you’d predicted?  LOTS MORE it’s probly bc i wrote a hella lot while jumping from train to train traveling all of Europe, and probly bc i gave up on school by mid-sem last year, and probly bc the only thing i can do at work that looks like i’m still doing work when i’m not is write 

What pairing/genre/fandom did you write that you would never have predicted in January? The fuCKING GERMS i blame it on germs like i 100% would never have thought i’d write 16k of thomasfips who does that also joemilly??? but i luff

What’s your own favorite story of the year? i dont have one i love and hate them all equally... i guess strangeways here we come just bc i took so damn long to write it and tbf i didn’t write a lot of carraville this year so it was kind of like my One and Only 

Did you take any writing risks this year?

writing a lot of people I didn’t know how to write, writing about a lot of Big Things (particularly on the bridge between starshine and clay) that i wasn’t sure about, writing a lot of aus i’d never done before, writing ??? PORN???? even tho ive never banged anyone in my life

Do you have any fanfic or profic goals for the new year? all 12 months of football prompts! hopefully! and writing more new ships and meeting more people and reading good fic  also finally doing all my historical aus bc if there’s one thing i’ve learnt this year, it’s not to give a shit what other people want and just write what u want even if no one is going to read it xoxo

From my past year of writing, what was…

My best story of this year: from a writing perspective i think an die nachgeborenen just bc it was the most? complete, i guess? and plotty? like if i changed the names and pretended it wasn’t creepy i could probably send it for rejection 

My most popular story of this year:  strangeways, here we come i guess cos i published it around that time the r*dditors were sneaking around lmao

Story of mine most under-appreciated by the universe, in my opinion:  the wonder of my world cos it’s niche and manc but!!!!!!! i love my mancs

Most fun story to write: fuckin.  30 Shades Of Red

Story with the single sexiest moment: The Anonymous Present That Appeared For Sab’s Birthday That Doesn’t Exist 

Most “holy crap, that’s wrong, even for you” story: Again, The Anonymous Present that Doesn’t Exist 

Story that shifted my own perceptions of the characters: I’m pretty set when it comes to characters, I guess, because I only like writing when I understand them, but maybe Aubade bc I’d never written Iker till then and I really liked how it turned out

Hardest story to write:  summer sang in me a little while bc it was a) wrestling with a Lot of Football feelings that I didn’t know how to talk about, b) wresting with trashbag xabi alonso and what I thought of him vs. what other people thought of him, c) writing ships and people I had 0 idea about

Biggest surprise:  i like germs! wtf

Highlights + Wrap-up:  ok I TRIED TO PICK DIFFERENT ONES FROM ALL FIC 

Favorite Opening Lines (3):

when the world was ours

There's a crunch. There's a crunch and it's over. 

the setting sun is sweetest last

When all the hands have been shaken and hugs exchanged someone presses a microphone into his hands and he fumbles, not quite sure how to put what he's feeling into words. Eventually he settles for something about looking towards the final on Saturday and he sees David from the corner of his eye shaking his head, almost as if to say: god, Gaz, how do you manage to make everything about United when this should be about you.

In the end, it's simple.

cheesed to meet you

Philipp calls Thomas first, because he always calls Thomas first.

"I didn't do it," Thomas says immediately, with the kind of well-practiced plausibility that only comes from doing the things he says he hasn't done.

Favorite Closing Lines (4):

yes, yes, we are magicians

You jog back to the halfway line. Your face must be shining under the lights, and you wonder if mum's in the crowd, smiling. Let's go to Wembley some day. Rooney rolls the ball to you and you're off again, no marcus's ball scribbled into the patchy leather, no divots and pot-holes in a sandy, well-worn pitch.

You're nineteen years old and going to the Euros.

Every blade of grass here is the exact same height.

in this story we belong to ourselves

Liverpool is. A river that runs before two men who used to have numbers on their backs and now have a house no longer empty. A stream of memories and breaking apart and going again. The Mersey, quiet, grey, flowing gently through the Narrows and out into the great big sea, ever so slightly out of reach.

Variation IX

He says I've missed you, mate.

I say You know, I thought you might.

He says I hope you missed me too.

I say Well of course, otherwise where would I go for Christmas this year?

And then he starts laughing and I start laughing and we laugh and laugh and don’t stop until he kisses me again.

yes, there will be song

You step back and turn, take the steps two at a time. Somewhere outside Anfield there's a man with a shirt that's as as red as the names on the back. He's got a scarf around his neck like a docker, and he presses his face to the Shankly gates like he's kissing a trophy. Make us dream, he whispers, a secret he's never told anyone else, his heart heavy and his eyes tired but his body trembling with a belief too full for words. Above him, the sky is golden.

Favorite Lines From Anywhere (5):

strangeways, here we come

It's weak against Paraguay, it's tired against Paraguay, but the England fans are singing and they have to listen. Countries are not clubs. This sinks deeper than loyalty, at once more insular and more ubiquitous than Liverpool or United could ever be. There are little flags hung up in Sainsbury's, strangers with their arms round each other in pubs, the radios of an electronics store tuned in to Radio 5 Live. Come on England. Bandied about like a mantra, a swear word, a secret password offered by old hands who brace themselves for more disappointment with a nudge and a wink. England always - a host of words go here, crash out , fuck up , lose , but -

Believe rises above them all. Maybe it's delusional. Maybe it's arrogant. Beckham takes a free kick that delights and astonishes the way his free kicks do and it ends up in the back of the net. Every four years St George goes back up and people who still remember '66 are bought a pint, and for every we'll go out at the group stages there's an underlying thread of god help me, we might win this yet, because what is hope if not alive?

Come on England. The cup awaits you and is yours.

sekrit yuletide fic

In his dreams he doesn't leave. Salvador Iglesias Sr. doesn't die and Chava doesn't become a dickhead. He keeps the number on his back and the band around his arm. He doesn't cheat on Ximena, but he tells her, and they part as best friends. In his dreams they win the championship. And again the next year, and again the one after that. Each time Potro scores the winning goal and Moi runs to him to celebrate and Potro kisses him for the whole world to see, over and over, until their lips are numb and all they know are themselves.

summer sang in me a little while

Why are you still here? you ask him. It is easier that way. He turns to you, dark circles under his eyes, and doesn't reply. Only reaches over to tangle his calloused fingers in your hair, rests his forehead against yours.  This time you are the one who leans forward to kiss him, immersing yourself in the warmth of his skin. You taste his blood. You taste the salt and iron of his blood.

the wonder of my world

What makes a club? Love, belief, hope - and someone to attach it to, the player everyone grows up watching, whose name is instantly recognisable to the point that you don't have to mention who he plays for next. Who pours his soul into the game and hammers his heart onto the crest. You don't get that kind of player very often. United were lucky to have three.

So here. The last musketeer. He's not looking at the crowd anymore, just the middle distance. Still the thousands sing. Love, belief, hope, and memories. Ryan might never run again but Paul realises that it doesn't matter. It's that he's already run. And in a hundred years from now someone might pull up a grainy youtube video and watch the number eleven on the left wing and fall in love, all over again. The way he was meant to be loved. Ball at his feet. Red.

an die nachgeborenen

"I don't need a plan," Thomas says, like he's talking to a child. "That's the beauty of it. All I have to do is wait and see what happens. It's only – " he smiles again, wan, quiet. "Well. You know."

The refrain arcs, jagged, through Philipp's head.

"I promised you wouldn't die."

"I won't." Thomas stands up, leaves a hand on Philipp's shoulder. His palm is still warm. "I'm invincible, didn't I tell you?"

And with a single, chipper whistling note, he hits the exit button and slips out, the door closing immediately behind him with a gentle click .

Fic Goals for 2018:

i wna write gifts that people will like :> aka MORE NICHE BULLSHIT 

#my fic #self indulgent trash xoxo

[uniformbravo]

“quick” life update while i wait for my ipod to charge

(do ppl even still use ipods in this day & age. whats spotify)

i never made any posts abt it but i started the new semester & im taking 2 classes, it’s funny actually bc i waited even more til the last minute than i usually do to figure out my classes & spent the 1st week of school trying to see a counselor to find out if i still needed classes and that’s a whole other story for a whole other day but long story short the answer was no but i decided to take a couple anyway

mainly because every time im not in school The Depression takes over & i just needed something to Do so im taking intermediate painting (even tho painting 1 made me want 2 die every day) and animation (even tho i’ve already decided i don’t want to be an animator????)

so heres the thing, okay, since these are classes i don’t need in order to fill any requirements or anything i had to pick them based on nothing, really, like my main reason for taking classes this semester was to give myself something to do, right. i picked painting because my friend had told me she was taking it so i was like yo i’ll just do that too bc we had fun last time & it’s a good way to stay in contact. originally that was gonna be my only class bc i knew it’d be a lot of work and time but then i talked to my school’s art counselor about transferring to another school after im graduated from here and i’d said i was maybe interested in storyboarding so we looked at schools with animation programs and i decided super last minute to just take the animation class here and Boy what a mistake

last semester i was talking on here about a computer art class i had considered taking but dropped bc it seemed kinda... shitty?? because i hated the way the teacher taught and i felt like i wasn’t gonna gain anything from the class??? well animation is taught by the same guy and hhhhhhhhh he’s so fucking unhelpful it’s such a nothing class

see i was hoping to learn some hand-drawn animation basics like timing, squash & stretch, the fucking bouncing ball assignment, shit like that, right. the teacher was like “today we’re gonna go over the 12 principles of animation” and i was like “sweet i’ve heard of that this’ll be good” & literally he brought up a list, read off most of the names, briefly described a few, and told us to google it if we wanted more info like?? holy shit dude????? thanks for nothing oh my god

i’ve been taking a lot of time practicing animating in flipnote studio on my 3ds and watching youtube videos and i’ve been learning so much more from that than anything explained by my teacher bc godddd. basically what the class boils down to is like. flash animation. so far we’ve been working in adobe illustrator and animate & i cannot stand illustrator. i know it’s a good and useful program and if i wanted to i could learn how to use it & eventually get used to it but just the way he teaches it makes me want 2 slam dunk my computer

the computer art basics class was strongly recommended to be taken before this class but tbh i don’t even think that’s the issue here because i tried to take that class and his method was the same; he does a demo on screen that you’re supposed to follow along and do with him and he explains what hes doing as he goes but he goes so fast that if u miss a step ur fucked 

and it’s not just that he goes fast, it’s also that theres no understanding of the program itself, like ok u know how in math there’s all these formulas where if u just plug numbers into them it gives u the right answer? i always understood formulas better when i knew what each variable stood for & why the values were being added or multiplied together because then it made it easier to extract the information i needed from word problems and also helped me memorize the formulas themselves easier because i could make those associations between numbers and purpose. i had the groundwork of the formula, so i could apply it to all kinds of situations

this class is like, he only gives you the very specific formulas required to accomplish very specific tasks in the programs so i can’t make the connections to figure out how to perform other tasks and i get super lost every time & it’s super frustrating & i could ask for help because he comes around and helps people who need it but i sit in the back corner so he never really even looks my way so i feel like i can’t get his attention w/o speaking up or getting up to go get him & i get lost so often that it’s really just a pain to ask him every single time

i just hate when i have a problem in one of the programs & i just have absolutely no clue how to fix it or even work around it? im used to photoshop and illustrator is just so opposite that my brain doesn’t want to work with it so im. 100% floundering in this class

we have 2 assignments during the whole semester, the first was a group project where we hand draw a 3-second animation (~30 frames) and that was literally the very first thing we did in the class with no prior guidance and honestly i suspect that the only reason he assigns it is to fill the requirement for a group project (which i know is a thing bc a lot of my past teachers have talked about it being a thing) so it was literally just. a nothing project

the second assignment is our final which is a 90-second animation (~1080 frames) and we have basically the rest of the semester to work on it, so about a month and a half-ish? and all we’ve learned how to do so far is motion tweening in animate, basically. i mean we did a ball-and-string thing which was kind of different but it mostly involved a lot of copy+paste bullshit in illustrator & also like automatic shortcuts & stuff, there was really no drawing involved at all

also it’s one of those classes where everyone just kind of messes around and does their own thing like?? i saw one girl reading manga on her computer & these two dudes at my table were comparing yugioh cards & i hear like 50 thousand conversations about anime every day & i mean im not one to talk tbh but it’s just the atmosphere, it feels like u either know what ur doing or u just fuck around w/ ur friends and im in the “neither of those” category and the girl who was reading manga is in the “both” category bc every other time i’ve looked over there she’s got this amazing masterpiece on her screen that she made in illustrator & i die inside every time what the fuckkc 

he showed us examples of final projects from last semester and i noticed that some of them were done traditionally or in programs that were obviously not illustrator so i asked him about it & he said it doesn’t have to be done in illustrator/animate as long as it’s 90 seconds long so Guess What i think i’m just gonna make it somewhere else lmaooo i mean i feel like it’s a missed opportunity bc i have these programs at my disposal & im not even using them but god amn. god fuckign damn

im thinking of animating it in flipnote bc that’s what i’ve been using & im pretty familiar with it by now but im not sure because there are some important things im not sure i’ll be able to accomplish with it like backgrounds (which are another requirement for the assignment) and i don’t want to back myself into a corner, especially with how little time i have to do it, so idk for sure. my other idea was to use clip studio paint but i have the pro version which only lets u use 24 frames per animation which totals out to a whopping 2 seconds so idk if i want to have to deal with that bullshit either. right now im considering making the rough animation in flipnote so i can figure out the timing & shit and then slapping it into clip studio to finalize everything (or technically i could even do that in photoshop, since im more familiar w/ it & can probably work faster there- from photoshop it’d be a matter of copying the finished frames into clip studio to export into 2-second clips & then compile those in movie maker & then bam finished animation)

so!!! it’s a lot of shit im dealing with in this class & im just like. if im doing it this way then why do i even need to show up for class. what am i even in this class for im just basically making an animation on my own time with my own resources using none of the techniques taught in the class. im only doing this animation because it’s an assignment for the class im not gaining anything from. it just seems so pointless & the only thing getting me through it is the thought that i could possibly put this in a portfolio somewhere down the line, and for that i’d want it to look nice and not rushed so im thinking that for the sake of finishing the assignment i might just use my rough animation so that i can spend more time on the “nice” version afterward

aaaanyway it’s um Late for me & i went on about this for too long but i needed to get it off my chest tbh, i’ve been thinking abt making this post for like 2 weeks so there u go. i didn’t even talk about my painting troubles good lord. if you’ve been wondering why i havent been online as much lately This is why. also bc im a huge loser and 100% of my free time has been going into watching anime bye

#retag later #me? complaining for an hour?? maybe #school / #i usually reread these & edit them to make things sound better but this time im too tired so if anything doesnt make sense sorry

[werewolf-fucker]

1-100

Is a kiss considered cheating?

- oh hell yeah 

Have you ever faked orgasm?

-sadly 

Do you think you are going to be rich in 7-8-9 years?

- i think its going to be a miracle if im alive in 7-8-9 years 

Tell us some funny drunk story.

- one time i got too high and i tried to pass the bowl to a frog beside me 

Why are you no longer together with your ex?

- ah she cut it off but i was respectful of her decision 

If you had to choose one way to die, what would it be? 

-oh shit i would love to be blasted into space 

Do you like someone?

- we shall see 

Who was the last person to disappoint you?

- my damn self 

Do you like your body?

- depends on the dysphoria 

Can you keep a diet?

- nah stoned me has no rules 

If the whole world listened to you right now, what would you say?

- ditch the white people! 

Do you work?

- sadly 

If you could choose only one food to eat to the rest of your life, what would it be?

- anything alyssas mom cooks 

Would you get a tattoo?

- i have two! 

Something you don’t mind spending all your money on?

- my friends and trasnition

Can you drive?

- im the only one of my friends that does 

When was the last time someone told you you were beautiful?

-all of my friends are saps so we say it all the time

What was the last thing you cried for?

- uh we ran out of skim milk at work and i just lost it 

Is life fun?

- can be with the right people 

Is farting in front of people irrelevant?

- u just gotta know how to pull it off 

What’s your dream car?

- small truck/ something with room 

Are grades in school important?

- hell yeah if u want to do more stuff with ur life 

Describe your crush.

- listens well, affectionate, funny, idk im an easy date man 

What was your last lie?

- im gonna go to bed early 

Dumbest lie you ever told? 

- ONE TIME MY SISTER FOUND MY VIBRATOR SO I HAD TO TELL HER IT WAS AN “oil paint spreader” AND THATS HONESTLY THE STUPIDEST THING TO COME OUT OF MY MOUTH BUT SHE BOUGHT IT 

Is crying in front of people embarrassing?

- for me yeah but not for other people

Something you did and you are proud of?

- i did a still life a little while ago and i really like how it turned out 

What’s your favourite cocktail?

- whiskey ginger! 

Something you are good at?

- fuckin up lol 

Do you like small kids?

- I hate babies but i love hanging out with 3+ yr olds 

How are you feeling right now?

- could be better 

What would you name your daughter/son?

- im naming my next cat Beau

What do you need to be happy?

- good friends, my plants, my animals

Is there some you want to punch in the face right now?

- dumbasses at work and jazzercise lady 

What was the last gift you received?

- someone gave me a cookie today lol

What was the last gift you gave?

- i sent u a package!!

What was the last concert you went to?

- tbh havent been to one in forever 

Favourite place to shop at?

- i like thrift stores and little unique shops 

Who inspires you?

- anyone who knows what theyre doing 

How old were you when you first got drunk?

-16 i think 

How old were you when you first got high?

- like 15-16

How old were you when you first had sex?

- 14

When was your first kiss?

- 8

Something you want to do until the end of this year?

- idk if i get this one 

Is there something in the past you wish you hadn’t done?

- legit just erase years 9-15

Post a selfie.

- in a separate post 

Who are you most comfortable around?

- probably @wild-wild-wonder or @gnomepapi

Name one thing that terrifies you.

- heights, fuckin hate them

What kind of books do you read?

- as cheesy as it sounds i like good ol YA novels 

What would you tell your 12 year old self?

- boys aint shit and just talk to people 

What is your favourite flower?

- bearded irises! 

Any bad habits you have?

- use weed as a coping mechanism so i do that wayyyy too much 

What kind of people are you attracted to?

- anyone whos into me tbh 

What was the last thing you cried for?

- skim milk and my parents kicking me out (its all good now) 

Is there something you don’t eat? Some food that truly disgust you?

- fuckin hate eggs and tomatoes 

Are you in love?

- im an ENFP and a sagittarius dude im always in love 

How long was your longest relationship? 

- 2 years 

What are 3 things that irritate you about the same sex?

- rampant misogyny, toxic masculinity, violence in general 

What are 3 things that irritate you about the opposite sex? 

- straight women

What are you saving money for?

- to move out soon 

How would you describe your bad side?

- whiny bitchass who cant deal with shit like a normal person 

Are you actually a good person? Why?

- idk if truly good people exist but ive done too much bad shit to be one of them 

What are you living for?

- a new easel and the opportunity to use it 

Have you ever done anything illegal?

- LMAO yes 

Do you like your body?

- i love some parts of it and some parts i dont 

Have you ever made someone feel bad about themselves intentionally?

- oh hell yeah

Ever sent nudes?

- yep

Have you ever cheated on someone?

- yep, not proud but yep

Favourite candy?

- kitkat!

Is there a blog you visit every day, or almost every day? Tag it!

- i follow over a thousand people on this hell site man idk what’s even happening 

Do you play any computer games? What is your favourite game?

- i play OW on pc a little but i suck at it lol 

Are you religious? Does God exist?

- oh god exists, he fucking hates me 

What do you think about vegetarianism/veganism?

- its cool just dont be preachy about it and get pissed when others arent 

How long have you been on Tumblr?

- like 4 or 5 years 

Do you like Chineese food?

- fave kind

McDonalds or Subway?

- subway but only from the one near my highschool where the dude gives me free food 

Vodka or whiskey?

- both 

Alcohol or drugs?

- both

Ever been out of your province/state/country?

- i try to make it canada once a year! my dads family is up there so i like to see them 

Meaning behind your blog name?

- it might be bc i fuck werewolves but idk 

What are you scared of?

- my boss cutting my pay to 2.25 bc she’s mad at us 

Last time you were insulted?

- today lol

Most traumatic experience ?

- yeaaahhhhh thats not happening 

Favourite app on your phone?

- tumblr consumes my life as always 

What colour are the walls in your room?- white man i live in an apartment 

Do you watch Youtube? Who is your favourite youtuber?

- i love cryaotic! his voices puts me to sleep 

Share your favourite quote.

- i cant remember anything my dude 

Do you like horror movies?

- i like horror i just fucking hate jump scares 

Have you ever made your mum cry? What happened?

- yeah i told her i was gay 

Do you feel lucky or special in a way?

- i love my friends and i feel incredibly lucky to know them 

Can you keep a secret?

- idk can i 

#fuck you i did it #lemonsnatchers

[rocks-tumbled]

Could you explain the sugilite thing? Genuinely curious bc I'm not fully understanding how her design is offensive :0

sure! it’s not so much like i see her and go “AHHH i’m offended,” more that there are some components of her design that make me immensely uncomfortable due to them being historically prevalent in more explicitly racist media (remember in a racist society, everything and everyone is racist to some degree) & are important to keep in mind. i’m gonna put this under a cut because it’s long and i’m sure not many ppl wanna read this haha

there are some articles on it i’ll link below, but basically wide set eyes are a common feature that’s overemphasized in racial caricatures of black and asian people to denote unintelligence. the exaggerated “v” shape of her open mouth is mirrored in old cartoon depictions of black people with minstrel-esque lips, so using that posing to connote “jolliness” when she talks was eerie to see after having been exposed to that. her arms are disproportionately long, with large hands, which is dehumanizing, especially on black characters where there’s an extensive history behind that, and she has been described by some articles as visually ape-like, which is a very common trope in racist depictions of black people (slurs at link) in cartoons and in general. also, her outfit is torn up, which happens a lot in depictions showing black people in particular as uncivilized or “savage.” 

the idea of black people being “monstrous” is also an issue, which is why the many eyes and arms could be taken into consideration as well. why does she have to be the least humanoid of the fusions? maybe the show will more heavily address that, but it doesn’t really change anything for a young viewer imo, especially when blackness and stereotypical black features are often given to villains/evil characters/monsters in children’s media. monstrosity and cruelty being given to black coded characters is a huge issue with real life effects on even the youngest of kids https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QkB0rm6odQI

http://womenwriteaboutcomics.com/2016/08/30/steven-universe-100-bismuth-undermined-by-racial-coding/ this article touches heavily on the implications of sugilite visually. there’s a lot mentioned that i actually think was intentional and meant to be subversions or may turn into subversion of harmful tropes. but, the concrete thing has been characterized by both crew members as a thoughtless error, and looking at how some characters on the show are handled, idk, errors could be more common. people are imperfect, sometimes with consequences. 

https://medium.com/@dtwps/all-these-black-characters-and-0-done-right-how-steven-universe-fails-its-black-fanbase-part-i-81e0b0b8c3fe discusses how sugilite is written and characterized. the article contains dated language to refer to mixed race people, just a warning

http://everydayfeminism.com/2015/08/4-tired-tropes-misogynoir/ this is an important read given how sugilite is characterized as brutish, etc.. and the fan response to her. also important to read up on the mammy and jezebel archetypes, the two most prevalent tropes black female characters are written with (often they are combined); this is something the crew 100% thinks about for every black coded character because it’s so pervasive and harmful, you can’t be a writer and somehow not be aware of it. su makes an effort to subvert them imo but typically actively avoids them  

here are some resources on anti-black racial caricatures, i likely missed some stuff for this character but you can see for yourself 

http://black-face.com/ minstrel shows featuring black people are technically considered representation. so this discusses literal blackface and the tropes that emerged with it, which persist to this day. these are the most basic visual and writing tropes from which most are derived, slurs and dated language at link 

http://www.historyonthenet.com/authentichistory/diversity/african/ more common tropes and examples, slurs and lynching imagery visible for some 

http://www.newsreel.org/nav/title.asp?tc=CN0026 i really recommend watching this clip, a preview of the documentary, for some imagery of how large black women were designed and animated. and also, the line “well into the middle of the 20th century, these were some of the most popular depictions of black americans” is not an exaggeration. this history is so important to keep in mind, especially because like. animation comes from this, everyone’s favorite golden age animators were complicit in this. 

also really important from that clip is the statement that “black[ people] don’t really look like that. so why is it so appealing to people to pretend they look like that, to look at icons that look like that?” and of course, this is immensely impactful on society and informs societal understanding/perception of entire racial groups; it extends to inform public policy and cause internalized racism. this is actually a widely accepted sociological framework called symbolic interactionist theory if you’re interested in learning more. basically, media has a huge impact on us, and we (individuals and larger society) have a huge impact on it; we reflect each other

i wanted to share this clip to demonstrate in animation form what some of the above links are discussing. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cftUIdSr_T8 (ignore the text tbh, focus on the way characters are shaped, how they move, what they’re saying and how). if you haven’t seen stuff like this before especially… it’s really emotionally exhausting, and jarring. it’s so gross. but it’s important to remember that not all of this was intended to be a derogatory or negative portrayal, most were probably seen as 100% okay by the majority of white people at least, this literally is what our society is and a large part of why it is what it is. 

things have changed so much, but the impact/legacy of this shit never goes away, so it’s good to be educated and aware. i honestly think su is more sensitive to this than literally any other cartoon from the past 5 years, but nothing is perfect or ever will be, we just have to keep trying, everyone from creatives to academics to policymakers. crew members from su have discussed this, and lindsay ellis goes into this idea while accessibly describing the impact of these tropes and why intent can be felt in the final product (what hopefully sets sugi apart from caricatures in less positive media): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0qQN8hML12U

like lamar’s statement says, 10 years from now, the cartoons coming out will be even better! just look at how much better su is at handling its poc-coded characters than recent shows like ren and stimpy, or even contemporary cartoon network shows like clarence and uncle grandpa. there are so many compared to the shows i watched as a little kid, and the writers and artists are genuinely being thoughtful with the portrayals. and i have never seen an apology like what happened because of concrete, with a crew member and showrunner both apologizing and promising to do better. like maybe… dr seuss did it for his racist caricatures and that’s pretty much it. so it’s not all bad, maybe they’ll handle this character differently in the future, i mean amethyst has grown a lot and it would make sense to have the fusion change a bit. but that wouldn’t nullify these issues, and i’m hopeful it will be addressed one day, especially directly by the crew 

also for the love of god, please don’t send me hate about this. it may seem like a non-issue to you, but tens of thousands of sociologists and even most animators say otherwise. it is important to at least acknowledge that the media we consume impacts us and our world and that it can be analyzed with the context of history and modern society. hope this helps

#sorry this is long im used to writing papers about this shit #racism #Anonymous