prince!ghost and lord in waiting!soap
ghost is a warrior prince, next in line after king price and it’s always been accepted he would be the lone ruler; never one for entertaining the courts or indulging foreign rulers trying to consolidate their power. he hardly acts like a prince at all, in name only when he spends more time as a pseudo captain of the guard. price has never begrudged him that, not when he himself has been a lone king since his inauguration
though he’s a warrior prince, he’s never lost the favour of the people; many see him as a guardian even if he doesn’t interact with the people as much as benevolent and stalwart king price. who he does interact with is the kingdom’s children; always ready to bend a knee and listen to bright voices, to praise stick swords and shields or hear the plight of a struggling family. it was a common belief that if he wasn’t out protecting, then he was with the protected; face covered, blonde curls shining in the sun
soap’s always loved ghost. as his lord in waiting, it’s been his job to attend him since they were young and even as a child, he’d idolised him; his skills in battle, his surety. he thought his life would be nothing but service, clothing a brat prince and making sure his shoes shined. but ghost has proven more than that; he treats him as an equal, consults him on strategy and court politics and over time that idolisation turned into love
and ghost has always felt the same. he’d begrudged the idea of a lord in waiting, not wanting someone always in his business but then came this spitfire who never missed an opportunity to push back on him; to make him dig deeper. johnny is more than some mere servant; he’s his confidant, his best friend, his… everything. he could be simon with him, not prince ghost
but simon figures that out too late
king price gets word from king shepherd, a kingdom they’ve only recently stopped feuding with and he’s offering up his son, prince graves, as a way to bond their kingdoms together and firmly put war behind them. price is ready to deny him, he doesn’t fear war from shepherd, when he sends some ancient laws that leave him unable to refuse. he hates it, hates that he’s ruining ghost’s happiness and feels like he’s betraying his adopted son but there’s nothing he can do
graves comes to their kingdom within the month and it’s clear from the moment he walks through their gates that he’s the opposite of ghost; arrogant and conceited, his ceremonial armour glossy and untouched by battle. he’s dismissive of their servants, of their ways, of their people and ghost hates him
graves insists that the wedding happen as soon as possible, pushing the craftsmen and cooks beyond their limits to prepare and every moment ghost spends with him, the more he dreads his wedding day. every evening he retreats to his room, exhausted, and it’s all johnny can do to keep him afloat; trying to keep him positive as ghost falls away and simon breaks in his arms. he wants to whisk him away like the old tales, the pain his oldest friend and love is in making his heart ache but all he can do is promise to be there with him
but it seems graves wants to take even him away
“soap’s been my lord in waiting since we were children,” ghost protests, voice barely clinging to civility. “i wouldn’t want to lose such a valuable worker.”
“there are plenty of decent servants in our kingdom; you’ll forget this one soon enough,” graves waves away, carding a possessive hand over his curls and it’s only bc he’s looking for it that soap sees ghost’s jaw twitch beneath his neck gaiter. “it’s custom for one marrying into our kingdom to embrace all that it has to offer, leaving who they were behind to become someone better. you’re entering a new life with me; you don’t need the baggage of this dreary place.”
soap feels sick as he walks behind them, his blank expression hiding all sign of his breaking heart.
“soap is beholden to me,” ghost declares. “we were sworn together by the old laws. i’m afraid a custom isn’t enough for me to break a vow to the gods.”
graves lets out a disgruntled noise, tugging harshly at one of ghost’s curls with only a thin veil of fondness; his conceding smile not reaching his eyes.
“i never made a vow to the gods,” johnny points out later. “price gave me to you because he was sick of me setting fire to the kitchens.”
simon hums and sets his freshly cleaned armour aside, turning to him with a twinkle in his eyes he’s barely seen since sheperd’s missive. “you pinkie swore that you would never leave me; that’s more powerful than any promise to the gods,” he says and soap’s thrown back fifteen years, to a willow tree big enough to touch the sky; to two boys from different stations who didn’t care that one was dressed in silk and the other in scraps.
johnny feels a lightness he hasn’t in a month as simon winks at him. “besides, do you really think graves is smart enough to figure it out?”
the days pass quickly, graves’ veneer of affection growing ever thinner, and before either of them are ready, it’s the eve of ghost’s wedding.
he’s said nothing, done nothing but stare at the wedding robes graves had tailored for him in the fashion of his kingdom and johnny doesn’t know how to break the silence. he draws out each second as he fusses with the cape piece and ensures the shoes shine in the fire light until he has no more excuses.
he sighs as he straightens up, brushing off polish onto his pants. “i suppose this is where i leave you,” he says with a weak smile but it quickly dies when simon still doesn’t look at him. “i’ll be here in the morning to help you get ready… good night, simon.”
johnny bows and makes for the door, trying to convince himself he didn’t just say goodbye.
but he’s stopped by simon’s hand loosely wrapping around his wrist.
he looks back as simon finally tears his eyes away from the robes, looking at him with such clear longing it almost brings him to his knees.
“i don’t want graves to be the first man to touch me, johnny,” he confesses and johnny’s breath hitches. “i don’t want to be married to another… not when the one i’m set to wed isn’t you. but if i have to do this… please let me feel loved one final time.”
simon’s thumb brushes the back of his hand; their kingdom’s greatest warrior caressing him with a touch light as silk. he doesn’t pull johnny in, doesn’t need to; johnny’s already sinking into his touch.
desperation and love tinge every movement; johnny dancing his fingers over simon’s neck gaiter until he all too happily removes it, baring his scarred cheeks and lips. johnny kisses each one, willing his love and his touch to linger above all others as they move together; sharing breath, sharing body, sharing soul the way they wish they always have.
when ghost makes his way down the aisle, it’s not in the fine embroidered robes graves had laid out for him. he’s in his battle armour; dark and weathered, the sign of the ghost, the warrior prince, going to battle. the only thing missing is his helm, tucked under his arm.
showing his hair; curls gone and shaved tight to his skin.
a thing done only in a time of great mourning.
graves looks irate and it’s the only spark of joy ghost feels as he stops before the altar; set beneath the willow tree where johnny promised himself to him. one final insult.
ghost is silent throughout the ceremony and in spirit and in grief, so is the entire gathered kingdom until the priestess reaches the final vows and suddenly, a great roar rises above the crowd as seemingly every child in the kingdom swarms the altar.
ghost is too shocked to do anything but let them push him away from graves, bullying their way between them like they’re preparing to protect him just as he’s always protected them.
graves is furious but the children stand firm in the face of his threats until he moves to strike one-
and freezes as soap’s blade finds his throat.
“you would dare hurt these children?” he growls, sword following graves as he stumbles back. “you’ve kept up your charade the entire time and here is where you show your true colours. i think it’s time i show mine.”
graves splutters as johnny turns to the priestess and king price, falling to one knee and offering up his blade. “your grace, i wish to challenge prince graves for the hand of prince simon!”
his voice rings clear and he feels the eyes of every person in the kingdom.
but he only cares for one man.
who is watching him with more love than he’s ever felt.
“who are you to challenge me?” graves sneers. “you’re nothing more than a servant; no better than the dirt on my boots.”
johnny doesn’t bother to look at him, too caught in the love in simon’s eyes and the grateful look on king price’s face. “then you should have nothing to worry about. you’ve been crowing your accolades from the rooftops since you got here; let’s see if you live up to the hype.”
because simon only ever introduced him as his lord in waiting.
never as sir soap- his second in command and one of the greatest swordsmen their kingdom has ever seen.
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Pearl squints across spawn town as Bdubs, wearing a strange moss cloak, seems to do some archaic chant while talking to a tree.
“Should we worry about that?” she asks Impulse. “I mean, he seems kind of possessed.”
“Oooh, yeah, you’re right,” Gem says, wincing. “Impulse, Bdubs does seem possessed. That’s bad, right? That’s definitely bad?”
Impulse looks for a moment at Bdubs before shrugging at the two of them. “I mean, nah. Bdubs gets possessed by plants like, all the time. Pretty normal.”
“That isn’t normal,” Pearl says.
“Actually, can you be an impartial judge?” Gem says at the same time, and then looks at Pearl. “You either! You all were definitely possessed or something last season, what with all of the Boatem things.”
“What? We weren’t possessed,” Pearl says, and then she thinks about it as she hears Impulse make a low, incredulous hiss between his teeth.
“We were a little possessed,” Impulse says.
“No. Were we?” Pearl says.
“Yeah, a little,” Impulse says.
“I told you,” Gem says. “I told you that you were acting weirdly.”
“Oh, come on! Remember Ren and Doc? Or... now that I think about it, Xisuma acted really different last season too! We were basically normal,” Pearl argues.
“I mean, for us, that was pretty normal.” Impulse pauses. “Actually, thinking about it, is Grian possessed again now?”
“Wait, hold on,” Gem says, waving her hands. “Xisuma?”
“I mean, he’s not promoting crypto scams anymore, that’s pretty new. Also his armor is normal now. Also he isn’t like, occasionally crackling with foreign electric magic,” Pearl says authoritatively.
“...Xisuma was what?” Impulse says. “I knew most of those, but not the elect -”
“Wait. Also, Jevin’s blue now.”
“That’s normal.”
Gem throws her hands in the air. “This is stupid. Is there anyone here who hasn’t been possessed then? Am I the weird one for being pretty sure I haven’t been possessed before?”
“Oh, people who haven’t been possessed before. That’s easy. Just...”
Impulse trails off. Impulse closes his mouth. Impulse thinks for a while. Pearl watches him with a sinking feeling in her gut.
“...yeah I’ve actually got no one,” Impulse admits.
“Come to Hermitcraft you said!” Gem says, rounding on Pearl. “The invitation will be fine, you said! You have local friends, you said! Pearl!”
“I mean, they didn’t warn me that apparently we’d all get possessed!”
“You might not!” Impulse insists.
In the distance, Bdubs makes a very concerning cackle before moving on with his day, strange tendrils made of birch following him slightly. Across from them, Grian lands on top of the Entity, his wings looking concerningly like they’re made of it. Even more distantly, Pearl can see Scar hanging from a branch of his own tree, something strange in his eyes, and she has no idea what’s up with Doc recently about that “hivemind” he’s always talked about but he’d been destroying so many things lately, and there’s Joe, talking to thin air like he always does this time of night, and -
Pearl gestures to the entirety of spawn town.
Impulse looks around and then shrugs. “...I mean. Uh. When you do get possessed, it’ll probably be pretty benign?”
They all stare a little longer.
“Yeah, sure, okay,” Gem says, letting out a breath of air. “Benign possession. We can work with that, right Pearl?”
“Do you think I can get it to be aliens, then?” Pearl asks. “It would be nice to be possessed on-theme.”
“PEARL!”
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Nasty I have a question about basement wife I’ve been thinking of for a while 🤔 apart from not trying to escape and not fighting against crocodile, what counts as her being on her “best behavior”?
At his core, I think that yandere/dark Crocodile is a wife guy. He wants that "wife experience" without the hassle of you running and threatening his operations in any way whatsoever. He did say he never trusted anyone from the start - and you're no exception to that. But who needs trust in their partner when they're unable to do anything against him? Crocodile wants to have his cake and eat it, too. (Not to mention that being a real threat to someone makes them awfully compliant and sweet, no?)
You playing pretend, being nice and giving him a warm lap to rest his head on after a hard day's work is 'best behavior'. No fussing, no going stiff, no claws, no apathy, nothing. Just you being his good, little (or not-so-little) stepford wife. Our man is tired, overworked, always tense... he just wants an outlet at home; someone to spoil and decorate, to take the edge off. Of course, you're only human and not perfect, he can live with that. But you being affectionate out of your own volition, addressing him with a pet name, a kiss pressed to the hand that holds you at night... That is best behavior. And always rewarded.
In my mind, this whole spiel goes on for years and years - at least a good while before Robin appears. It has the potential to morph into a weird neither-here-nor-there dynamic, one that makes him a little softer, to the point that he drags you with him after the Summit War. After all, he could have simply ditched you, without a base and unsteady as he is. But you're well and truly his spouse by then. You belong by his side, are a part of the look like the fur he likes to wear. And with the years (and fear, wrongly perceived as loyalty), he really finds himself loving you. A little backwards, that one.
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