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butwhatifidothis · 3 years

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I also think that part of the reason why the church gets so much hate is because of how much general distrust there is in organized religion in real life. Like I went into Three Houses trying to keep an open mind and during White Clouds I really couldn't see what was so heinously wrong with the church even during the Lonato thing that made the institution so much worse than what Edelgard was inciting. I could be totally wrong but I was under the impression that Rhea didn't squash the insurrection because they were a part of the Western Church but because they were actively rebelling and, on top of that, Lonato was bringing civilians into the conflict. That, along with the fact that Rhea knows for an absolute fact that the goddess existed and that she herself is old as dirt (trauma included) makes her decisions make a lot of sense.

I'm playing through AM with my friend who's never played before and they IMMEDIATELY said they distrusted the church because Jeralt doesn't like Rhea (for understandable reasons but my friend also ignored his very sus behavior of not explaining literally anything to Byleth) and because organized religions must be inherently bad.

It’s something that’s heavily related to a player’s inability to separate the reality of their specific circumstances with those of the fiction they’re consuming. They implant their experiences onto things that are only somewhat related and then extrapolate “facts” about the fiction that are, many times, actively shut down and/or disproven by that fictions lore or story or plot.

And, like, it’s normal to relate fictional things to your personal stories if you see connections to them. I’d wager a good amount of people find some aspect of a character they like/love that sticks out to them specifically because of a similarity they share of some kind, whether big or small. I know of people who’s fave superhero is The Flash because The Flash is fast and they ran track and hey, that’s cool, a superhero who’s ability is running really fuckin’ fast and I wanna be really fuckin’ fast. To use myself as an example, I can relate to the struggles Claude specifically has with race because many of the things he says correlate very well to my personal experiences with race. So, going by that line of logic, the opposite is clearly going to happen as well; there are many villains, or characters of either or neither allegiance towards good and evil, who have traits that personally affect someone in a negative way.

But here’s the thing about that... Claude and I have similar experiences with race. He’s still a prince, and I’m still someone who’s never seen above the poverty line in terms of income. He’s never had to live off a box of Whoppers he happened to find under his bed for three days to hold off until the food stamps come in because there’s just no food and no money to get any food. And on the flip side, I’ve never had people try to kill me just cuz I’m mixed. I’ve never felt the pressure of having to lead thousands of people to safety or have them die, directly due to my inability to lead them well enough. We still have extremely different lives and I can acknowledge those differences when looking into his character, regardless of whatever connection I may have with him otherwise, and that’s where these people fail in terms of critically consuming 3H as a piece of media.

These people - understandably, to an extent - look at Rhea, this devout religious woman who heads a major religious institution, and they automatically connect the language she uses as a devout religious person to the negative experiences they personally had with religion... without acknowledging the differences between the two. They see Rhea and they don’t see a bisexual who surrounds herself with and gives shelter to former criminals, foreigners, and people in need of a home while asking for little in return - they see their local pastor, or some other religious leader/person, who’ve done them wrong, and thus Rhea hates gay people, she hates POC, she’s a zealot and unreasonable and she’s this terrible person with no redeeming qualities. And this isn’t me arm-chair psychology-ing these people - they poke fun at themselves about how much they let their personal experiences cloud their judgement of the game and its characters with bingo cards for liking Edelgard having “raised with religion” be one of the slots and things like that.

And really, why else would “religious institution led by white-presenting race of people” be automatically turned into “racist, homophobic, misogynistic, and violent to any who aren’t their religion” when 1) one of the main characters - the one calling Rhea racist - himself eventually says that racial diversity fits well and snug in the Seiros faith, 2) not only is the leader and founder of the religion a bisexual woman, but no one says anything about having their love be confined to one specific gender anywhere, with heavily coded LGBT relationships like Shamir+Catherine and Dorothea+Petra being just as LGBT coded in SS - where Rhea can potentially come back as archbishop - as anywhere else - hell, when one of the most devout followers of Rhea clearly is romantically interested in her and faces no repercussions or consequences for openly being so despite being female herself, and 3) the Church only ever uses violence when either called from the outside for help or forced to when outside forces try to attack them? Why are we hearing all of these awful things about the Church when it sometimes is never even implied?

It’s in large part due to religion being such a sensitive part of people’s lives that they are unable to disconnect their personal experiences with religion with the fictional religion the media they’re interacting with provides them. Rhea, as a devout religious leader, especially with how genuinely morally gray she is, was never going to land well over here in the west, double especially to an audience of people that very clearly are already inclined to ignore pieces of the game’s story, lore, plot, and character interactions to fit their own preferred version of what’s happening. Triple fuckin’ wombo-combo especially since the game itself fails to do Rhea any favors until the literal last second of two out of four routes and only shove in her directly admitting she was wrong in her actions in the hardest support chain to build up in the entire game, and even then only at the last part of it. Poor girly didn’t have a snowball’s chance in hell

#ask #anon #like are there people who are overall unaffected by religion and still dislike Rhea? more than likely #but it's hard to argue that people shoving Rhea in a box of their own personal making regardless of whether she fits or not #has NOTHING to do with how much she is disliked #hope I'm makin' sense lmao

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rosepetalmark · 3 years

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too soon.

↬ Jung Jaehyun x Reader ↬2.5k Words ↬Warnings: Mentions of alcohol ↬ Got in my feels one night listening to Keshi so this is inspired by his song “2 soon”

It hurt not having you there. After the breakup, which you both decided was amicable, something inside him snapped.

At first, he let the sadness take over him. He knew these were all normal emotions to process once a breakup occurred, so he let himself mourn his loss. Just because you both decided you needed to focus on yourselves and careers, doesn’t mean it didn’t pain him knowing you wouldn’t be the first person he was able to hug when he got home from work, let alone kiss you whenever he looked your way.

Most days he tried to distract himself, divulging himself into non stop practise, trying to work harder for the groups latest comeback, rather than drown in sorrow over his want for you and your relationship.

Weeks had passed, and so did his urge to drink. At first he thought one shot would do, take the edge off and distract him from his thoughts and cheer him up a little, but five more shots later he was dizzy, sad, and still thinking of you.

He reached for his phone several times in that moment, glancing at your name that’s been untouched for almost two months, desperately wanting to call you and ask if you’re doing well. If you miss him. If you still love him and much as he loves you.

But each time he stopped himself, something within his heart knowing that you needed this time to heal as well. Hell, maybe you’ve already healed and want nothing to do with him. But he doesn’t know that, and he doesn’t want to know that. He just wants to be with you.

And he knows this isn’t a healthy mentality to have. You both made it known that his career is at a very pivotal point, and that’s what he needs to be focusing on until he feels he is stable enough in his career to balance both being an idol, and a caring boyfriend to you.

So each time he’s alone and in his thoughts, he gets wasted and cries about how he lost you, and how he wants nothing more than to put his career aside than to be with you. If you ever heard him say those words, he knows you’d be upset, wanting his happiness and career to be put first. It came before you after all, and you never wanted to be the reason for his career ever taking a negative turn.

It wasn’t until he was at a yearly company party SM threw in December to not only celebrate Christmas, but all the successful comebacks and promotions each of their artists have done throughout the majority of the year. They may have worked NCT and Jaehyun to the bone this year, and this was just the slightest form of appreciation they had to offer.

Yuta and Mark were joking about the time Jaehyun snuck you into one of SM’s after parties after the Golden Disk awards last year, focusing more on you than his friends and groupmates, never leaving your side or your lips for the matter; prompting him to drunkenly declare his love for you in front of the dozens of other celebrities surrounded in the same room as you all.

Jaehyun was embarrassed when he remembered the next day, but you on the other hand thought it was sweet. Knowing that he didn’t care what his repercussions were at the moment, only wanting to declare his love for you not only to you, but to those he's closest with and who know how hard it is to find love and maintain it in such a hectic and invasive career.

He got so drunk at this year’s party, that he locked himself in one of the building's bathrooms, tears streaming down his face because he knew the alcohol was not enough. It will never be enough. Alll he wants is you.

Taking his phone out of his jacket pocket, he scrolled down to your name, and pressed “Call”. Knowing it was a long shot that you’d answer, considering you don’t have to associate with him if you didn’t want to, along with the fact that it was shortly after 1am, with you probably being fast asleep.

With just two rings in, a soft “Hello” came from his speaker, nothing that you did in fact answer and were awake.

“Hi.” Was all he managed to speak out, soft hiccups emerging from his throat, his cheeks getting hotter by the second as he doesn’t know what he’s going to say to you, let alone what you’re going to say back to him.

“Are you okay Jaehyun? It’s 1am.”

Wiping his tears, he didn’t know what to say. He couldn’t outright blurt out everything he was thinking and feeling the past few months, not wanting to scare you away from the intense emotions he was feeling as of late.

“I don’t think I am.” He spoke softly, loosening his tie as it was constricting him from breathing properly through his intense tears.

“I miss you, like a lot.” He said between gulps, trying to calm down but his hiccups having other plans for him. “And I know we said this was for the best, but us breaking up has been eating me alive and I can’t stop thinking about you and us and it just really sucks.”

“It’s been two months Jaehyun.” You say, not knowing exactly how to process how he’s feeling. “Why didn’t you call me earlier if everything’s been bothering you so much?”

“I didn’t want to bother you. I wanted to give you space and let you live your life without coming off as some pathetic loser who needs you all the time.”

“Well, you’re not a pathetic loser, Jung Jaehyun. You’re a human being who lives a hectic life, one with feelings who deserves to feel and process and be comforted whenever something’s going on in your life. Don’t ever feel bad about it.”

Processing your voice, Jaehyun couldn’t help feel the comfort and peace that flowed through his body whenever you spoke to him. You always knew what to say, and even when you didn’t, your presence was just as reassuring.

“I miss you too, by the way.”

“You do?” He cries, trying his best to wipe his tears while maintaining his attention on your voice. “I thought if I called and you heard me like this you’d for sure be happy we broke up.”

“Breakups are painful Jaehyun. I can’t even imagine how you feel because I know you don’t have many people to talk about things so it must hurt to bottle things up.”

Which was true. Jaehyun kept your relationship a secret for six months before even letting his managers know, slowly waiting for the company’s okay with your relationship, but not wanting for it to be public. He never wanted to do that to you, hound you with the harassment and chaos that came attached to an idol. It was already bad enough when two idols dated, let alone when one dated a non- celebrity, fans worked even harder to learn everything and anything they could, potentially harming anyone at hand.

Jaehyun first told Johnny when you two started dating, the smirk on his face never once fading whenever the mention of you came up. The rest of the members slowly began to find out, each congratulating him that he finally found someone who made him smile, and wasn’t with him because he was famous. Anyone he attempted dating in the past either wanted him for his fame, or was someone in the industry who wouldn’t shut up about the industry.

Dating you was like a breath of fresh air, because compared to his hectic life, you were just a regular, comforting human being. You worked a part time job at the mall, attended university and were studying to be a social worker, and had a great obsession with baking banana bread.

Whenever Jaehyun was with you, you reminded him of what it’s like to be a normal human being, not an idol stripped of all his talent, time, and energy to make a company even more rich and successful than they already were.

And it wasn’t to say you lived a boring life, but compared to him everything you’ve done and experienced was so mundane. Nothing made Jaehyun happier than when he showed you the tiny details that go on in an idols life, such as where he practises, to where he and the rest of NCT record their songs, even taking you behind the stages of award shows and comeback stages-wanting you to see the full effect and experience up close, rather than on a tv or in a dressing room away from all the magic.

You were the clarity and compassion in Jaehyun’s life and it absolutely shattered him whenever you were unable to be with him when your lives and commitments came first.

When you both decided it was necessary for you to break up, Mark was the first person who found out. Jaehyun entered the dorm quietly, his cap covering his eyes and mask slightly rising up the bridge of his nose, only exposing about a centimetre of his face.

Mark knew better than to ask what was wrong, as past experiences with Jaehyun being angry never ended too well, so he gave him some space. But three days after entering the dorm pissed off and not leaving his room once, Mark took it upon himself to check up on him, only to find him curled up in a ball on his bed sobbing, discovering that you two broke up and clearly he wasn’t taking it well.

It took him about 6 days before he left his bed to finally shower and eat something that wasn’t a granola bar or cereal stashed in his room or brought in by Mark, and 9 days for him to finally tell everyone why he was so distant and upset.

Obviously, everyone was saddened that you wouldn’t be spending time with them anymore, but ultimately were hurting for Jaehyun as well, as they knew you meant a great deal to him, and losing you meant losing all the plans and dreams he had for wanting to marry you one day.

Obviously not in the near future, but in around 5 years, when you were well out of school and had a full time job, and when Nct was well off enough to not be promoting as often as they had their first several years as a group; only ever promoting or touring for a portion of the year, rather than having breaks for a few weeks every few months.

It took all the strength in Jaehyun’s body not to call you every night after you broke up, but clearly that did not work because here he was, unfortunately consumed by alcohol he used to help cope with the pain for the past several weeks, drunk and sobbing to you.

“It’s just been really hard. I know we said it’s for the best but I hate not having you in my life. I miss going for food with you at 2am when you’re stressed about your assignments. I miss giving you long hugs when we go long periods of time without seeing each other and- fuck! I just am so in love and want to be with you the rest of my life and I hate how I let myself become so attached to you and this relationship but I cannot go on knowing there’s a chance you’re going to fall in love with someone one day and I won’t be that man marrying you or being the father of your children or holding you when you’ve had a hard day.”

“Wow, you’re really drunk.” You say, hugging your pillow to your chest because no one has ever uttered such raw, loving words to you before and you cannot help but fight off the urge to cry because you too, want that life for the both of you one day.

“Yeah I know. I’m surprised I said all that right now because I’ve been fighting the urge to call you every night because I wanted to give you space.”

“I want all that with you, Jaehyun. I want us to get married and have three kids and two dogs and I want you to help teach them all how to read and for them to make you play dress up with them and have tea parties and make sand castles. I’m still in love with you and always will be so please don’t be sorry or surprised you’re feeling this way because we both know we deserve to be with each other.”

“I want you so much.”

“Do you want me to come see you? Just so we can talk and I can make sure you’re doing okay?”

“You don’t have to if you don’t want to, I get if it feels weird or it’s too late.” He didn’t want to pressure you into doing anything, especially the need to take care of him when he’s drunk and sad and completely in love with you. You’re not his babysitter, nor his girlfriend for the matter- you are not inclined to care for him or even see him because he’s a mess.

But you still want to. Because even though you haven’t spoken in weeks, you know that Jaehyun is the love of his life, and hearing him be so sad and lonely is more than heartbreaking. It’s complete agony.

“Nothing is too late or too weird when it comes to you. I want to hug you and never let you go and tuck you in bed and make sure you’re safe and happy when you go to bed.”

“I’ll meet you back at my dorm if that’s okay? If I’m at this party any longer I’ll go absolutely insane.”

“I’ll see you there, Jaehyun. Please be safe and text me when you leave.”

“Of course, anything for you. And thank you, for even just listening. You’re an angel and I can’t wait to see you in a few minutes.” He chimed, shortly ending the call after he said those last statements to you.

Jaehyun doesn’t know for certain where his future with you stands, but he’s okay with that. He’s seeing you soon, and you just confessed that you’re still in love with him and want a future with him, and that’s all he needs.

His conversation with you managed to clear his mind and body out of the abundance of alcohol that once consumed him, his attention and newfound excitement now focused solely on seeing you, touching you, just being with you. He quickly ordered himself a cab, not even saying goodbye to his members, beyond ecstatic to be within your presence.

And for now, that’s all he could ever ask for.

#nct imagines #nct smut #jung jaehyun #jaehyun imagines #jaehyun scenarios #nct scenarios #nct 127 scenarios #nct drabbles #nct 127 #nct 127 imagines #jaehyun

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mikeana · 3 years

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So I keep seeing this sentiment used in pointing out the differences between Hawks vs Twice and Midoriya vs Shigaraki (often used to prove how Midoriya is a true hero unlike Hawks) that Hawks never understood Twice, or even tried to understand him before he killed him, which... what?

Not only do I think that’s not true (or at least, not to the extent that people claim), but even if Hawks did understand Twice, knowing his entire tragic life story, understanding the bonds of the League of Villains... would that even have made a difference?

There are a lot of differences between the characters of Twice and Shigaraki. Twice kills people in order to protect his friends - the bond he found with the League is what his entire character revolves around - whereas Shigaraki kills because he was brainwashed into thinking that that’s his purpose. He was born to destroy - so why not destroy everything he doesn't like about society? Simple as that.

Because what drives them are so different, the process of ‘saving’ them - breaking them away of that motivation to kill and do active harm - would be different as well. Midoriya can appeal to that crying child inside Shigaraki, showing him that he is more than just destruction incarnate. Midoriya would also have to get past a wall of hatred towards... just about everything (but him especially) in order to get that message across - how he manages to do that, I have no idea - but we still have quite a bit in the story to go. Meanwhile, in order for Hawks to have successfully saved Twice, he would have had to come in between the bond that Twice shared with the League.

I know that there are several people that tout the LoV as a ‘found family’ but... it’s not. It’s not a healthy environment in the slightest. The entire League revolves around their status of outcasts and their hatred of society - but while it’s nice to have friends that can understand your past, the fact is that the League does not do anything to take a step forward and move on from sitting in their negative emotions. They ‘express themselves’ sure - by killing and doing whatever they want, but that’s not self-improvement. It may give them a temporary feeling of satisfaction, but at the end of the day, they’re as stagnant and lost as ever, enabling each others worst habits. It’s completely unhealthy - and one of the worst type of environments Twice could have found himself in.

Twice - who has little to no self-worth of his own - found himself surrounded by a bunch of people with similar sad backstories and who were also social outcasts like him. They also happened to be murders. Because they showed the smallest appreciation and kindness towards him, Twice was then given purpose - do whatever it takes to protect his friends. That’s the motivation that led him to overcoming him drama and breaking out Sad Man’s Parade. Unfortunately, while the League did give Twice senses of direction, purpose, and belonging, they didn’t do much to actually give him the proper help and care he needed (and vice versa - in protecting his friends, Twice is also protecting the status quo). I’ve said it once and I’ll say it again - it was no coincidence that, while Twice managed to miraculously ‘overcome his trauma’, his split-personality condition was stated at the end of the MVA arc as becoming worse. The League enables each other’s worse habits - and while Twice did grow during MVA, it was in the wrong direction. Coincidently, I think MVA is also the point where Twice can no longer be saved.

So, in order for Hawks to miraculously have saved Twice, he would have to had come between his bond with his League - aka his entire reason for living. And Hawks did do exactly that - he destroyed clones of all the League members for crying out loud. But still, some people assume that Hawks didn’t understand Twice - didn’t understand his backstory, nor his connection to the League.

I’ll be honest, we never got a panel of Hawks thinking about said connection (or at least, not that I remember), so there’s no way to know exactly how much he knew about Twice. But Twice was one of the villains that Hawks had information on (the only ones he didn’t were Dabi and Shigaraki), and the two hung out fairly frequently. Hawks could have known all about his past, or maybe he knew nothing at all. He didn’t know about Twice’s trauma with being double-crossed by Overhaul, leading to the death of Magne - so again, who knows how much he knew? Even if Hawks looked over Twice’s case file though, that still wouldn’t have changed the fact that he would have had to overcome his connection with the League - which leads me to my next point.

Hawks definitely understood Twice’s connection to the League. Or at least, he knew that his love of them was the motivation of his crimes. Hawks admired Twice because he was a kind person - he wanted to be useful to his friends, just like Hawks did. However, that same drive can also be dangerous. If Hawks thought that Twice’s level of commitment to the League wasn’t so strong, that Twice would automatically agree with him and accept his offer when he started talking, then Hawks wouldn’t have sent almost all his feathers to surround him. Twice was a kind person - and that’s exactly why he was such a threat.

So, in order to surpass the bond that Twice shared with the League, Hawks would have had to do one of two things: 1 - gain Twice’s unwavering trust so that he accepted his deal or 2 - show Twice that he has more inherit value than he gives himself credit for, giving him another motivation besides the League.

Scenario 1 was what Hawks attempted to go with, though it was doomed from the start. As soon as Hawks double-crosses Twice, reveals himself as a spy, he’s immediately clocked in shadow, seeming monstrous from Twice’s perspective. Any trust Twice had extended Hawks was immediately broken. This doesn’t help that Hawks has to come out with a bunch of sharp feathers pointed in his direction. No matter how much he liked Twice, he was still an active threat, and Hawks needed to be able to act at a moments notice in case he resisted (which of course, he did).

I’ve seen some people suggest that Hawks could have promised that the League would be safe, that his failing was that he didn’t understand the entire League the way Twice did - that if Hawks had just calmly approached him beforehand without the feathers, told him the situation, promised that he’d get the entire League help the same way he promised he would with Twice, everything would be fine. But - there’s no guarantee that Twice would agree with that. During their months together, none of the League have ever tried to reach out to get help with the intention of improving themselves. The status is that they have to maintain their way of life - aka them doing whatever they want with no repercussions. In order to get proper help, that would have to change. Twice protecting the League means protecting their way of life and any active threat against it. Again, as soon as Hawks came out as being a spy on the heroes side, Twice’s immediately distorted him into something monstrous. With his former trauma with Overhaul, I believe that - no matter what the scenario - Twice would have immediately lost all trust in Hawks. Therefore, there was no hope that option 1 would work.

But what about option 2 - giving Twice some self-worth, and giving him some motivation outside of the League? Well, I think that would also be impossible - at least, for Hawks anyways. Because, like it or not, Hawks and Twice have the same fatal flaw - aka they both have little to no self-worth outside of being useful to the people they want to protect - to the point that either would happily lay down their lives if it meant the people they care about could be happy. The only difference is that Twice’s care extends only to the League whereas Hawks’ extends to the whole of society. In order to give Twice that sense of self-worth, Hawks would first have had to found some in himself - a little hard to miraculously do, considering he’s on an undercover suicide mission. The tragedy of Hawks vs Twice is that, at the end of the day, they were both kind characters - which meant they both had the same ‘unbreakable will’ that make up some of the most dangerous characters (according to Hawks).

Even if it the person that fought Twice wasn’t Hawks (which first off - good luck to anyone but Hawks dealing with Twice’s clones), this second option still requires some deal of trust - which meant you’d have to find a hero or anyone who Twice wouldn’t have thought of as an immediate threat to his friends. Twice didn't hesitate to attack Midoriya or the UA students at the training camp - what makes anyone so sure that if Midoriya faced Twice, there would be a different result?

So in synopsis, I think Hawks did understand Twice enough before the fight (at least to know what drives him) - but even if Hawks did know every. single. little. thing. about Twice's life, it wouldn’t have made a difference.

In order for a character to be saved - in order for them to start their redemption - they have to want to change. That is the key difference in what makes a person savable or un-savable. However, by the time of the PLF arc, Twice is actively choosing to side with the League - and nothing Hawks could do was going to pull him away from that.

How Midoriya will convince Shigaraki to want to change is something we’ll have to wait and see.

#bnha spoilers #hawks #keigo takami #rant

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feynavaley · 3 years

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Drabble where Alfred sees Ivan get close to Matthew? (platonically of course!)

I’m absolutely unable of writing something as short as a drabble, I hope a ficlet will be okay instead. 😅 I picture this being set not long after the end of the Cold War.

———

Stubborn Naivety

The first times it happened, Alfred had to admit he didn’t pay any heed to it. A small smile. A curt nod. A few timid, cordial words. Nothing odd coming from Matthew, whose soft heart made him regard even those he should have considered bitter enemies with kindness.

Even as those interactions became more and more frequent, Alfred barely took notice. He didn’t want to think about Russia more than he was forced to, after all, and he didn’t think sharing a few words with him would pose any danger to Matthew – if anything, not getting on that wretched individual’s bad side should protect his brother from negative repercussions.

It wasn’t until a day of November that all the pieces came together with dizzying clarity.

“I’ll see you tomorrow at the hockey stadium then, Matthew. Make sure to get some rest, it won’t be any fun if you aren’t in top shape!”

The surprise at Ivan’s unexpected words was so great that Alfred froze at the doorway, unable to process what was going on.

Even more shocking was his brother’s earnest nod, the confidence in the smile that lit up his face.

“Of course! Don’t think I’ll make it easier for you.”

For a moment, Alfred almost thought he had walked into some sort of alternate reality. The scene in front of him was eerily surreal. His brother being so friendly and familiar with Russia was so utterly wrong – cordiality was one thing, but it was way past that…

Am I hallucinating?

But when Ivan walked past Alfred to cross the door, the malicious twinkle in his eyes and the sardonic smile that curled his lips were just like his usual ones, spurring the gears of Alfred’s brain back into motion. A cold weight dropped to the bottom of his stomach along with the sudden realization of what, exactly, Matthew’s brief – but more and more frequent – interactions with Russia had led to.

He turned to confront Russia, but he wasn’t fast enough – he just got a glimpse of the man’s coat before the elevator’s door closed behind him. All that was left was Matthew, who was now busying himself with his conference’s notes and didn’t seem to have spotted Alfred.

“Matthew!”

Matthew raised his head from the notebook. The timid smile that had started blossoming on his lips withered in front of Alfred’s thunderous expression.

“Al? What’s wrong?”

How Matthew could sound so clueless, Alfred didn’t know. The surprise was slowly turning into irritation as what he had witnessed sank in – but somehow, Matthew managed to look innocent.

“What do you mean, ‘what’s wrong’? Do you even have to ask?”

His words might have sounded a bit more aggressive than he had meant to, but Alfred knew his anger was highly justified. The confused blink Matthew addressed him was further proof of that.

“Since when are you so buddy-buddy with Russia, uh?”

Alfred took a step forward, folding his arms across his chest as he glared at his brother, trying to convey the severity of the situation with his imposing presence.

Matthew’s eyes widened.

“Oh! That… Well, I couldn’t really say we’re friends, you know, but sometimes we just—”

“Play hockey together? Meet outside of work? Ah, yes. The perfect picture of casual acquaintances. Could’ve fooled me.”

Alfred didn’t try to stop the sarcasm from seeping into his voice. If only Matthew had chosen to be reasonable, he could have been kinder… pity that Matthew didn’t look even a tiny bit apologetic.

Instead, his brother shrugged. The sheer carelessness exuding from that gesture made Alfred’s blood boil.

“Yes, we play hockey together. Ivan’s good at that, we both have fun. And sometimes, we even meet for a tea and have a chat.” Matthew looked straight into Alfred’s eyes. “Look, I… I know that you don’t like Ivan. I know that you have good reasons for that, too. But he isn’t actually so bad once you get to know him.”

Alfred’s stomach twisted unpleasantly.

“He’s dangerous, Matthew. He’s manipulating you. He’ll be kind long enough to make you trust him, and then, the moment you let your guard down, he’s going to hurt you. You should know this!”

But Matthew – young, naïve Matthew – still shook his head.

“It… Al, it isn’t like this. He’s getting better, he really is trying. I know he hurt people in the past, but now—”

“No you don’t know, Matthew! You don’t know half of it!”

A pang of guilt went through Alfred’s stomach as his brother recoiled. He didn’t enjoy yelling at Matthew – however, getting the message across was more important. He swallowed down any regret and went on in a calmer but still unyelding tone.

“What Ivan has done—”

“I don’t think he meant to,” Matthew interrupted him in a soft voice. “I don’t… I don’t think he truly realizes what he has done is wrong. And that’s why—”

A sudden wave of cold spread inside Alfred’s chest.

“And that’s exactly why you should have nothing to do with him!”

His stomach churned. Matthew’s words dug deeply inside him, a painful echo of older ones that had been uttered in a calm voice which sweetness screamed out how broken its owner was. He recalled the quiet, resigned acceptance dulling Tolys’s green eyes. Just like that time, Alfred felt like he was going to be sick… but it was even worse. He never, ever wanted to see that look mirrored in his little brother’s eyes.

Alfred took a deep breath and grabbed Matthew’s shoulders in a firm grip.

“You need to trust me on this, Matthew. Russia’s lack of awareness only makes him more dangerous. Whether he knows or not, the result is the same! He will—”

Still, that foolish brother of his shook his head, a resolute glimmer in his eyes.

“But he can get better if somebody gives him a chance! Russia doesn’t realize what he’s doing because he has been hurt as well. For most of his life, he has only experienced violence – it’s basically all he knows, the only way he knows how to react. But if—”

“Well you’ve suffered too! We all have. It’s in our own nature. But I don’t see any of us going around hurting people for our sick enjoyment. It isn’t an excuse!”

“I’m not saying it is.” But even as he agreed, the lines of determination on Matthew’s forehead didn’t smoothen. “Look, I know it isn’t. But the thing is… the thing is, he can change. From what I’ve seen… sometimes, it really looks like he wants to change. But changing your ways after being hurt so much is hard. He won’t unless somebody gives him the chance to. And I think he does deserve this chance – everybody does.”

Alfred didn’t know what was more sickening – his brother’s misguided sincerity, or the thought of how Russia had managed to manipulate him and how he was going to use it. They all merged inside him, making his stomach churn.

“This is bull, Mattie. He will get his chance once he has proven himself worthy of it! And he hasn’t. You shouldn’t be putting yourself in harm’s way for him!”

Matthew frowned at that, swatting Alfred’s hands away.

“Well, somebody clearly has to. Might as well be me. It’s my own decision to make, anyway. I can take care of myself.”

Anger welled up inside Alfred’s chest. He didn’t try to stop it.

“Congratulations, then. You just proved you can’t! Stop living in a dream, Mattie! You can’t fix everything. You’re just going to get hurt!”

Alfred was aware that snapping at Matthew was going to have the opposite effect and set him in his resolution. The moment his brother’s features hardened, he knew he had lost. Still, Alfred didn’t back down. Anger and frustration were easy to deal with. Letting them burst to the surface was easier than coping with the fear gnawing at his insides.

Why, Mattie? Why do you have to be like this?

His brother was going to get hurt, and no matter how hard he tried, Alfred wasn’t going to be able to prevent it. He wanted to scream, to tear out his hair – and he could do nothing but simmer in his powerlessness.

(word count: 1,378)

#hetalia #hetalia fanfiction #aph america #aph canada #aph russia #ficlet #na brothers #feyna's writing #this may not be what you wanted #but I feel like Russia is the one person Alfred doesn't want Matthew to interact with not mainly out jealousy #but because he's genuinely afraid Matthew may get hurt #btw I'm really sorry for the delay!#oh and for people who might come across this #sorry but I'm not taking requests #I only did this one because it was sent before I could say so #please do not tag as ship #there are NO ships here

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electronicdelusionstarlight · 3 years

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wait a minute. So I've read your bits on civil war 2008, and I have a question for you: all the characters in the civil war event, at least the major players(like stark, Cap, Spidey, FF), do you believe that they are acting OOC, or that the writers chose to bring out the character's worse qualities to create drama?

And do you think that if the writers had written them In Character, or at least written them to be more balanced, would it have improved the story? Actually, do you think that Civil War could have been... at least A not Bad Story under an intense rewrite? or that the whole concept should have been thrown away?

The OOC talk is tempting and also partially justified. There is a batch of previous stories scattered through the years with the Fantastic Four dealing with similar scenarios where Reed is pretty much anti-government.

1) In one Social Services sue the FF4 for endangering Reed and Sue Kids by keeping them in the Baxter Building despite it being blown up once every 2 weeks. They ask them to "register" them and put them in a safe government facility, so to spearhead a new law where they can get pre-teen superhumans "out of harm way" or some shit.

Keep in mind Franklin is still a Mutant in this story (And still is right now because FUCK YOU SLOTT). Anyway, Reed seemingly agrees,only to set up a dummy facility and "register" his kids there. He doesn't even announce it he literally only writes it in the Government's documentation and shit.

The facility is razed to the ground a couple hours later. Because yes the Baxter Building can explode at any time but AT LEAST they are there to protect the kids from the countless people.

2) In another story, Reed is asked by Congress to create a device that outs mutants and "abnormal" humans, so the government can better individuate them for "reasons." Reed agrees, and makes a device SO POWERFUL it detects every deviations from the supposed norm, so when he gives a demonstration in Congress, he reveals half of its members would qualify as "Mutants" if they kept that line of inquiry, which makes them hastily drop the whole thing. This was intentional, because who the fuck are they to decide who is or isn't not normal?

3) Compare and Contrast with Civil Ear Reed Richards, who is a McCarthy apologist who goes "Logically speaking, we need to listen to the government on this one otherwise we might get burned just like my (gay coded) artist uncle was by the McCarthy Trials in the 50s when he told the court to shove it and his life was ruined as a result. It's the rational way to do it."

4) (The three main proponents of the Registration Side being Rich, White, Heterosexual Men in positions of powers, with jobs in the science field that justify their decision with "Facts and Logic" was PROBABLY unintentional, but is also a great unintended allegory for this kind of shit. The ones who are hurt the most but these kind of laws are the ones who can't afford it after all, and who is ever going to go after the rich and powerful first? Especially if they come with little repercussions on their lives (Tony, Reed and Hank where all already outed as Superheroes after all))

5) Peter is OOC in OMD mind you, Civil War goes pretty much how you'd expect him to go (gets manipulated by authority figure into it, MJ and May are supportive of him because they see only half the facts, the SECOND Peter realizes that those people are monsters he drops them and gets the shit beaten out of him for it, unlike Reed or Tony who can AFFORD having their identities public Peter barely has the money to survive which ends with May getting shot for it). It's an incredibly poignant scenario that I wish was used to TELL A MESSAGE rather than just a backdrop to shoehorn OMD in.

6) Which is to say Civil War could indeed be written better under the same premise. If they want to keep the Patriot Act Allegory, they should be aware of what that would entail for the characters that support it.

We are currently seeing a similar scenario going on in Marvel in the Champions comics where the registration side is pretty much spearheaded by an unambiguous evil corporation and shit. In light of Civil War I existing the whole thing kinda loses its impact (Like that one joke scene where Tony goes "Maybe we should register them" with a smug look on his face as if he isn't responsible for so many deaths), but at least they are trying to shift the conversation? The villain is not the Government of course it's Evil Apple, but at least it's not a "Both Sides are equally ok" centrist bullshit take like they did in Civil War or in Skyrim.

Like, fuck, it's literally called CIVIL WAR to invoke the American Civil War in the context of the "brother kills brother" interpretation some bastards are so fond off, I wouldn't call THAT a "Both Sides are valid" scenario by a long fucking mile, yet here we are.

7) I think the best way to put it would be to set up the same scenario but make it realistic to the setting and shit.

Hank and Tony still support the Government because one is a Skrull Chaos Agent the other is misguided, Carol takes Reed's place in the Triad because Women can be War Criminals too (She was leading the equivalent of a child soldier program during Civil War so she is one already at least). Steve is also anti government because this is happening during the fucking BUSH ADMINISTRATION and he goes "When will Washington decide who the villains are?" Like he did in canon but in, like, a poignant moment.

Speaking of Reed he will keep his family neutral and go "I admit superheroing does need failsafes and some kind of oversight mind you, I just don't this this country's government has demonstrated their right to be that."

Let's not put the "Cap you are out of touch because you don't know what MySpace is" or "Luke every time I see a Sentinel that's like seeing a Burning Cross" rants in the story too because those were some raw shit.

Tony, again, lives in privilege, so it wouldn't exactly affect him, and is genuinely trying to do good, so we need to put him as the "Patsy" who gets duped by Skrull Hank Pym for it, the government is the one with the secret prison for Superheroes, Hank is the one recruiting Nazi Scientists and starting child soldier programs, clones Thor, sets up with the Government a Super Prison in the Ocean (can't use the negative zone without Reed), outside of US Jurisdiction so the government can ship then there with no trial and torture them. When Skrull Hank Pym is confronted for it, and the blame is attempted to be pinned on him and him alone, he goes "Are you earthlings daft or something? I did almost nothing, it was your government who did most of the work in their desire for security and safety, I just sped up the process for them, they would have done all of this with or without me."

Around the ending Tony finds out and is devastated and drops the whole thing."

When someone tries to comfort Tony over it because he didn't know any of this he goes "Oh, that's were you're wrong Peter. I knew. Deep down, I knew things weren't right, unjust, but I did nothing, because I could make things better from the inside, because it didn't affect me, because It would have been inconvenient to me to stop this. This is on me for passively accepting it as it is on the ones who enforced it." Which leads him to make amends, that way he is not as much of a awful character here.

The scene where The US kidnaps Ororo so they can strong arm Tchalla into getting registered happens but is treated as a international crisis as it deserves.

The Prison Break finale happens because Namor discovers the prison in HIS FUCKING DOMAIN and just goes ham on it with the help of the Anti Registration side, he drops a line like "I've seen shit like this before, I've seen what happens when man declares another man a criminal for things out of their control, for what they've been from birth, and I say NOT IN MY KINGDOM!" or some shit (He is a WWII veteran after all).

Since Steve isn't pummeling to the ground Tony in this scenario there isn't the dumb as fuck Everyday Heroes scene and he doesn't get shot by Sharon later on..

We have instead the scene from Secret Invasion where Skrull Hank Pym kills Steve (In SI it was Skrull Queen killing Janet Van Dyne) on national television, which leads to the anger of everyone involved who rush him, only for Tony to be the one who pull the trigger.

Tony is put in charge of SHIELD, which leads to Iron Reign (Dark Reign equivalent), and the story ends with him going "Let's see if things can reach change from the inside this time" as he actually reforms Shield from his position of power. The Registration Act becomes unpopular due to Steve's death and Alien Interferences, so that helps, and leads to actual protests in the streets after Namor reveals to the UN the war crimes the US is committing. It's a slow process, but is something.

OMD doesn't happen, The Peter storyline remains pretty much the same, but instead of Tony bragging about his private prisons for Superheroes in hell, it's the Punisher who shows up to him and reveals some troubling shit he discovered, Peter Confront Tony for it who dismisses it as fake news because he doesn't want to believe, Peter drops the registration side out of disgust, which then leads to the government sending villains after him rather than Tony. Tony is then seen strongly arguing with Maria Hill for this since Peter almost died from what he got from his suit readings (which he never hijacked or deactivated), but the Skrull Hank Pym shows up and supports Maria Hill for it, and Carol is busy with her child soldier program to comment.

May still gets shot and dies right as Peter and MJ discover MJ is pregnant with their second Daughter, which is ripe for lots of good stuff.

Maria Hill will therefore have to take even more of a role as a Government Plant and shit, but what's new.

Johnny Storm still gets hate crimed on but not by black people. Maybe confirm him as Bi while we're at it? You know, to get topical and all.

Ideally No More Mutants never happened so mutants are still a thing and most of them are vehemently anti registration. Emma Frost appears neutral at first glance, but ultimately she is playing the long game, secretly helping militant mutant groups and shielding the school from unwanted attention. She still has a restraining order filled for Tony Stark, she still points out to Carol how fucking dangerous a mutant life can be if outed via mind powers.

Can't think of much else for now, maybe Felicia helping MJ and May while they are in hiding? MJ is nauseous and all and she goes "must be the nerves" and Felicia agrees but May knows. This could lead to the polycule post May death since Felicia blames herself for it for not being fast enough, and MJ now is pregnant and scared and the Registration Act is getting repealed by the future is still glum and Peter is depressed so they all comfort each other and then 69 issues later we have a two parter maxi event where they face their fears and BANG we get the polycule.

Aunt May still poisons the Chameleon while he was posing as Peter. She actually actually poisons him rather then just drug him this time, because she knows of that one time he tried to force himself on MJ while posing as Peter which lead to MJ beating the shit out of him with a baseball bat, and May is a nice old lady but there are things she really can't stand you know?

Felicia and MJ help her hide the body. Peter never finds out.

And that's it?

#anti civil war #marvel

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darkpoisonouslove · 4 years

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Sleeping Beauty Missed Opportunities

I watched Disney’s Sleeping Beauty about ten days ago and I actually loved it a lot. The aesthetic is lovely and the music is absolutely ethereal, there was some awesome comedy and Maleficent remains such a cool villain even if she is not particularly competent at it, Phillip is probably the best Disney prince ever and I got all nostalgic so it was a great experience. I couldn’t help but notice a couple of things that had so much potential had they been explored and now I am going to write them out because they will simply not leave me alone.

- The fact that Flora’s gift to Aurora was beauty annoyed me a lot. So you’re telling me that her beauty is not only not natural, but it was also pretty much a gift wasted since it literally never played any role in anything. Aurora grew up in isolation so she could have looked as Godzilla for all anyone cared and it wouldn’t have made a difference. And to top it all, her beauty also does not play a role in Phillip falling in love with her because he falls in love with the beauty of her voice at first. It would have been much better if she was naturally pretty (as opposed to supernaturally so aka magically induced) and Flora had given her another gift. I suppose that since she is named Flora, she has something to do with flowers which is why her gift to Aurora was beauty. After all, flowers are there to look pretty and not much else. But I think it would have been a better idea if her gift to Aurora had been that of a nurturing touch that makes it so that Aurora nearly gives life to plants by just touching them. Animals are trickier but she can still heal and nurse them back to health with a little more effort. That would have been in contrast with Maleficent’s whole “kingdom” (aka the Forbidden Mountain) decaying and being in ruins and would have gone better with Fauna’s gift of the soul.

- In the scene where Maleficent appears to the Christening, it is Merryweather that tells her she was not wanted. Granted, the king and queen did not object to that but it was obvious they had already pissed off Maleficent so they probably didn’t want to get on the wrong side of the fairies whose benevolence they still had. When you think about it, though, it was Merryweather who escalated the situation into a disaster that could not be saved so my thought was that it would have been interesting to have learned a little bit more about the fairy ways and the conflict between the Three Good Fairies and Maleficent. Obviously, Maleficent has high social status since even the queen called her “Your Excellence” so the decision to not invite her to the Christening was weird and ill-advised. With a little more background info on the fairy business we could have witnessed the dilemma of the royal family that is caught in the middle of a feud they have nothing to do with aka having to choose which side to invite and risking to draw the wrath of the other upon themselves. It could have been interesting to see what would have happened if they had invited Maleficent instead of the Good Fairies in fear of what she could do if they didn’t only to have the Good Fairies paying them back for the disrespect but that would have changed the plot too much so it is probably best to explore as an AU.

- The consequences of King Stefan’s decision to burn all spinning wheels were never ever shown and that was such a great waste. The fact that the target audience is kids makes it a little bit more understandable, of course, but this could have made for a great political subplot. The decision was impulsive and was made more from the heart of the father rather than the head of the king in his desperation to protect the child he and his wife have wanted for so long. However, that will surely have economical and even political impact on the kingdom. Instead of celebrating the birth of the royal heir, they had to pay the price for protecting her. It is the fourteenth century so without spinning wheels in the whole kingdom, they could no longer turn wool into threads. Any industry including fabric would have suffered from that choice and that would have led to poverty. Now that would have been a perfect way to explore the alliance between Aurora and Phillip’s kingdoms. Maybe they signed a contract for Phillip’s kingdom to trade finished products for the resources that they need to make them coming from Aurora’s kingdom. It would have been a good way to include the aspect of royalty, politics and economics more since they already introduced it through the arranged marriage. And it would be interesting to see Aurora’s reaction once she was back at the palace to how much her subjects and the whole kingdom (even Phillip’s kingdom) had sacrificed for her well-being. Any decisions she could have made on the matter as the future ruler could have shown her introduction into her role of princess and future queen as well as her compassion and good heart.

- The king and queen’s pain over their lost daughter was never explored. They waited for years for the happiness to have a baby and when their only dream finally comes true, they are forced to give up the baby if they want to keep her alive. They can not see her for the first sixteen years of her life and by the time she comes back to the palace she is all grown up. She is not their baby daughter but a beautiful stranger that they don’t know anything about. Whatever happiness and relief there was over her being well and alive was surely overshadowed by the fact that Maleficent still succeeded in tearing their family apart. Their daughter is not dead but they lost her and she never had them. It is a horrible tragedy that the movie never even bothered to address for a second past that scene of them sending Aurora away with the Three Good Fairies. Considering all the negative repercussions the king’s decision to burn all spinning wheels must have had on the kingdom, it was a shame that they never truly showed the emotional consequences of the choice to give Aurora to the fairies to raise for the royal family. It could have added much emotional depth to the story and characters.

- In relation to that, there was a big missed opportunity with Philip also. Since his mother wasn’t there neither at the Christening, nor at the celebration of Aurora’s sixteenth birthday, a sound assumption would be that she was dead. The loss of her that Phillip and his father were going through and the loss Aurora’s parents were experiencing after they gave her away could have become a great bonding point for the two families. It has been shown that Phillip’s dad is a great friend of King Stefan so it would be safe to assume that the two met quite a lot. Phillip could have easily been brought along on those visits and since they lost their own daughter, Aurora’s parents would have probably become very fond of the boy and loved him as their own. He was to be their son-in-law one day and through him they could give their daughter all their love, by caring for him and helping raise him in any way they could. And Phillip could have come to think of them as family as well and respect them like his own parents which would have made it harder for him to stand up to the arranged marriage because he also loved them and didn’t want to hurt their feelings after all the love they’d given him. And later on, once Aurora was back home, he could have helped her get to know her parents. It would have been bittersweet that he knew them better than she did but it would have shown both his support of Aurora and the trust that binds the two families in one as well as helped both Aurora and her parents get over the pain and trauma they’ve experienced.

- This is more of a detail that would have just made things a little cooler if it’d been included but what if the gift of soul Fauna gave Aurora was the reason she was seeing Phillip in her dreams? It connected her to the living beings like the forest animals and it could have very well been the one thing helping her connect with the one she is destined to be with. It could have been a cool side thing. And maybe it also affected Phillip in some way and that was why he could communicate so effortlessly with his horse. Or they could have made it so that Phillip had also been blessed by fairies as a child and that was why he was communicating the same way with his horse that Aurora was with the forest animals and it helped them establish their dream bond.

- And one last possibility that I thought of would have been if Aurora had been raised according to fairy understanding and perception of the world. The Three Good Fairies themselves said that they knew nothing about raising a human child and Aurora neither knew they were fairies, nor had contact with any other humans in order to figure out that something wasn’t quite right with the way they were raising her and the things they were teaching her. So she grew up experienced in fairy traditions and the fairy way of looking on the world. Once she goes to the palace, she finally learns that what she’s been taught is not the human way of doing things so on top of having to patch up her family and learn the royal ways, she also has to learn the human ways. And since she’s been raised with fairy outlook on the world, she cannot believe her parents’ decision to not invite Maleficent to her Christening. It is not that she blames them but to her it seems incredibly stupid and disrespectful and she understands why Maleficent went for retribution. Since Aurora is so well versed in the fairy ways, she becomes something of an ambassador for the kingdom in its dealings with fairies (and possibly other magical creatures) to avoid repetition of history and offend another powerful being. The kingdom becomes prosperous thanks to its extraordinary princess who has managed to earn the benevolence and blessings of various fairies. There are those who do not like her since they think a human should have never been allowed the privilege to know their traditions so well but, in general, she is in the favor of most powerful beings that protect her kingdom and make it a force to be reckoned with.

Those are the things that I would have loved to have seen included or even hinted at in some way in the movie since there is a lot to cover in all the cracks of the story. Any of these would have made for great additions to the original plot imo and would have given more depth and life to the story.

#sleeping beauty #disney's sleeping beauty #aurora #princess aurora #prince phillip #maleficent #king stefan #merryweather #flora #fauna #sleeping beauty meta #meta

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ksmutclub · 4 years

Text

Let’s take a step...

Good Evening Everyone. Admin Tomi here.

I think we’ve reached the need for a full stop.

There’s going to be a lot here - please hang with me. I ask that you read this thoroughly, because I would like to have this be the cease fire for the current situation.

Firstly,

We are deeply sorry for any hurt, pain, trigger, or traumatic essence that has arisen in the midst of viewing the Monster Smash prompt list.

These prompts are based on popular horror movies and books. Things that we easily associate with Horror via authors like James Patterson and Stephen King [which a good chunk of these prompts come from]. So to us, and a majority of the voters/members, who wanted it to return? There was no issue.

The club rules *specifically* state that we do not allow the following

WHAT WE DON’T REBLOG

Sexualization of minors,

Incest,

Eating disorders,

Self harm,

Glorification of mental illnesses,

Animal abuse,

Any controversial topics,

Political topics,

Masterlists,

WIPs posts,

Domestic violence,

Abusive relationships,

Pedophilia,

Necrophilia,

Homophobic topics,

Racist topics.

Rape.

That has been the long standing no-no’s of this club since its inception. We didn’t understand why the anons, and few members that came forward, would think that we would:

A - allow any story that breaks the rules to pass through. B - that any of the writers/creators/esteemed members of this club would dip down to those levels to create material that does exactly what we ask not to be done.

We’re all adults, and trust that everyone knows right from wrong, and understands the ramifications of such issues.

We in no way intended to cause trauma, downplay anyone’s trauma, or ‘insult’ anyone with mental health issues.

But.

We cannot stop creators from writing things that may include dark topics.

We believe in the portent of trigger warnings required on each story. Because what could be a trigger for you? Could be a cathartic release for someone writing from a similar experience, or someone with an interest in said experiences.

We trust and believe in you all to believe in self-care. Meaning that if someone happens to post a yandere story with a trigger warning for blood? That you would move to the next story. We believe that every reader and creator are the masters of their Tumblr experience and will act in accordance with the safety of their well-being and mental health in consideration.

With that all being said? The h***ler prompt was missed/misstep. Again, we profusely apologize for that one making the list. There is no excuse, I will attempt to offer none. The K Smut Club Admins will do better to be more mindful/careful/watchful of such things in the future.

Now, a point was made during the back and forth of the evening. That one message cleared most of the confusion. A trigger warning on the prompt list. Which in hindsight, may or may not have made a difference. But, it would at least show that we DID hear you about the certain prompts [esp. the h**ler one, cause that should've never gone up. So we thank that member for catching it].

So going forward, since this has been a lesson, we will make sure to trigger warning as best we can for the next Monster Smash event. As a reminder, the prompts are purely voluntary to serve as an example of what you could possibly write. None of these were mandatory, or necessary to participate in the event.

Again, with any event the idea of your story and where it goes is always up to you, the creator.

To the matter of the prompt examples list?

We can all agree to disagree. Everyone perceives things differently. Again, we trust you all to be mindful of the rules and not write anything that would be considered illegal. For example:

A brother and sister find an old door in their basement that wasn’t there before.

Hansel and Gretel; or Brother and Sister monster hunters, sister gets kidnapped by demon that’s been lusting over Brother. Or in secret relationship with brother - sister is kidnapped with ultimatum to come on over to the bad side or they’ll make the sister disappear. So, no incest.

The abused animals of a zoo are unleashed and wreak havoc on a small town.

Based on James Patterson’s Book ‘Zoo’[and there was a miniseries]. Animals of the world suddenly developed a genetic abnormality that caused them to rise up and try to take the planet back. Believe it or not? There was romance/sex involved in the people trying to save the animals, the world, and themselves. One of the scientists fell for a reporter as they worked together for a cure. The story written could have the two people getting together and that amount of care they have for solving the menace - solves it. So, no abused animals.

Deceased soldiers return to their Civil War-era homes.

Based on multiple episodes of the Twilight Zone or the Outer Limits. People that may have died with strong regrets and the people who miss them terribly are given an opportunity to come back for one day. Fully alive, flesh and blood, breathing living - to spend one day with each other to help them move on. Also the movie Warm Bodies where a zombie regains his humanity, and undoes the curse of the undead by falling in love, of all things. The ‘zombie’ fully regains his humanity, living breathing, and bleeding - there’s even a kiss. So, no necrophilia.

A monster is terrified by the scary child who lives above his bed.

Based on Monsters Inc. and I’ve seen some Monster Inc Kpop fic smut out there, so it’s absolutely possible to have a single parent cleaning a kids room and shenanigans ensue, or not, and just be a super crack horror fic.

A family dog runs away from home. He returns a year later to the delight of his family. But there’s something different about him. Something demonic.

Based on Pet Sematary, Stephen King classic. Synopsis could be that parents lost a family pet, trying for a child, pet returns, horror ensues.

A child sleep-walks into their parent’s room and whispers, “I’m sorry. The devil told me to.”

Based on Case 39. A movie where the kid was a literally a demon posing as a child, and manipulated everyone around her and caused a bunch of deaths/mishaps.

I’ve made these few scant examples to prove there was no ill, illegal, or sick intent with the prompts posted. Each of them can be connected to a movie, book, or television series that many are familiar with.

Even though the rules state smut is required, where the smut happens within prompt depends on the story. But, wherever it should so appear would be required, of course, to act within the bounds of the clubs rules.

Because we trust you, the creators, to abide by them.

In closing,

Everybody has had different experiences in their lives. We are not going to pit pain against pain. No one’s pain is greater. Pain is pain and we all have suffered it, or will at some point. We must do what we need to in order to protect ourselves from things that hurt or trigger us.

I believe every network feels this sentiment and uses the trigger warning requirement in order to protect their readers from consuming content which would hurt them, while allowing the creator the opportunity to explore and create in the medium they see fit.

We are all humans trying to navigate a difficult time. We all have our ways to deal with these traumatic and painful happenings in our lives. We either talk about it with our peers who have the same experience, write to forge a path forward to some sort of healing in our own way- or we simply remove that reminder from our sphere of existence.

We will do the best in our capacity, in this network to create a space for both the reader and the creator to do what is best for them, while following all legal statutes set forth by Tumblr and the laws of the US where it is based.

If there are any club members that have issues with any of the prompts - we ask that you please DM the admin staff off anon, so that we can get an accurate count of the individuals that take offense.

There will be no bashing, no repercussions, or public shaming.

We want to make sure that the people in our network have a say in what happens within the club events. Just because we can see the story in the prompts, doesn’t mean everyone can. We would be happy to discuss the prompt or prompts in question, with examples or sources to assuage any fears that you have.

For those who were hurt, disturbed, disappointed, or felt the negativity wrought by this?

We again, humbly apologize that you have. We hope that we can move forward with the event and the growth of the club with your blessings and participation.

Sincerely, The Admin Team

P.S. - Death threats, threats of any kind are not ok. We’re all adults here. If you disagree then your blog is the space to do it. Stay out of folks DMs with that bullshit because you disagree - that goes for anybody that has spoken out disagreeing with the club and anyone outside toward the members within the club. We have differing opinions they should be respected. No one should be victimized any further than already experienced.

#announcements #monster smash 2020 #ksmutclub

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lotusik · 3 years

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How Hecate came to Vancouver Island. (June 7the 2020)

Image from Hecate Park & image of Hecate I made into a postcard.

I’ve grown up here on Vancouver Island. We moved here from Manitoba by the time I was 6 years old. It wasn’t til summer 2013 when I really became aware of the goddess Hecate (a story for another post!) and it was another few years before I clued into the connection between two local places I knew about, Hecate Park and Hecate Strait, with the goddess Hecate. I think the delay was due to the difference in pronunciation, the locales are pronounced Hek-et, and after hearing it my whole life, it just took me some time to connect the dots!

Hecate Island, image by Kira Hoffman

Since that time I have discovered there are 16 locales (as well as a fishing lodge and an inn) named Hecate on Vancouver Island and the surrounding areas! Obviously as a devotee of Hecate, I was thrilled to have this physical connection to a goddess associated with such faraway lands in history, and lands so different than the Pacific Northwest. But as so often happens, the actual story of how these places came to be named Hecate is neither terribly exciting, nor surprising really when the history of this island is looked at.

1903 Nootka House

Kwakwakaʼwakw children in Yuquot (Friendly Cove)

Vancouver Island historically, and presently, is home to the Kwakwakaʼwakw, Nuu-chah-nulth and Coast Salish peoples. In the 1800s the British came and began their colonization of these lands as if they did not already belong to others. While this post isn’t about the atrocities that happened here, I would be remiss not to mention them. The repercussions are still being felt to this day. I recall being really surprised when I learned that a large proportion of Canadians actually knew almost nothing about the attempted genocide. Though it is now finally starting to be talked about in schools, the information being shared is not entirely accurate and still quite problematic according to a young Kwakwakaʼwakw woman I spoke with, whom has recently finished with the school system. I am grateful to my grandparents (an amazing couple whom I have much more to write about in another post) that raised me to be respectful of the land and the original inhabitants, and for always having been aware of what happened in this place. It has led me to feel a strangely conflicted feeling about living here. Feeling both so at home with this island’s spirit, yet always feeling a deep longing for Europe, and being but a guest here. I feel the same conflict about being thrilled to have locations named Hecate here while knowing how those locations came to be named.

HMS Hecate aground in Neah Bay east of Cape Flattery between 15 and 21 August 1861

In 1860 Captain George Henry Richards first came to B.C. to do survey work on the H.M.S Plumper until she was decommissioned, he then continued the work aboard the H.M.S Hecate. And thus we see the origins of all these places being named Hecate. Captain Richards did survey work around Vancouver Island and the Sunshine Coast for two years. By all accounts he was a kind and fair man. Oftentimes he was called to break up disputes between the Indigenous people and whites, and he would invariably always call out the whites as being in the wrong. There are also stories of him giving treats and gifts to the Indigenous people and being generally very kind. I was personally very glad to read this. He also had some sweet mutton chops.

Captain George Henry Richards, Royal Navy, BC Archives

In naming places around coastal BC, apparently the indigenous names were kept as much as possible, but much that was not named already or if the indigenous name could not be used, then those places would be named. Many of the names given by Capt Richards were for his crew and even a favourite racehorse.

Here is the list I compiled of all the places named Hecate, on and around Vancouver Island, starting from the South and moving upward North Island and over to the Sunshine Coast.

Hecate Passage (E. of Chain Islets, W. of Plumper Passage)

Hecate Park (Cowichan Bay)

Hecate Street (Nanaimo)

Hecate Mountain (NE of junction of Uchucklesit Inlet and Alberni Inlet)

Hecate Bay (NW. of Meares Island, E. of Catface Range)

Hecate (abandoned locality NE side of Nootka Island)

Hecate Lake (N. end of Nootka Island, E. of Saltery Bay)

Hecate Channel (Between Zeballos and Tahsis Inlets)

Hecate 17 (East shore of Zeballos Arm of Esperanza Inlet)

Hecate Cove (N. side of Quatsino Sound, E. of Quatsino) [There is also the Hecate Cove Fishing Lodge]

Hecate Island (Just N of Calvert Island)

Hecate Strait (Between Haida Gwaii & mainland) [On Haida Gwaii there is the Hecate Inn]

Hecate Rock (shoal in Duncan Bay)

Hecate Rock (Goletan Channel, Mount Waddington)

Hecate Reefs (I’m assuming this refers to the reefs in Hecate Strait)

Hecate Place (street in Vancouver)

According to British Columbia Coast Names by John, T. Walbran, Hecate Strait, Bay, Passage, Channel, Cove, Island, Rock (there are two in two different places) and reefs were named directly by Capt Richards between 1861-1862. The other places will likely have been named directly from those named by Richards.

{With libraries & archives being closed due to Covid 19 I wasn't able to access some of the information I'd originally gathered when I started this article several years back. That said, I think it contains most, if not all of the relevant information.}

While I was doing this research I realized there are quite a lot of places all over the world named Hecate, She certainly has made her way around the globe!

And lastly, I recently was also made aware of someone local who at one time had a boat named Hecate (retired), which if I get permission I will share a photo here of the boat herself, or at the very least, the beautiful wood sign with the name that was on the boat. They named the ship actually due to the goddess, the family having had a long time interest in Greek mythology.

Resources and references:

The private journal of Captain G.H. Richards: the Vancouver Island survey (1860-1862) (The first part is here: http://ronsdalepress.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/04/Private-Journal.pdf ) Ronsdale Press 2012

British Columbia Place Names G. P. V. Akrigg, Helen B. Akrigg, UBC Press 1997

British Columbia Coast Names 1592-1906 by John Walbran, J.J. Douglas Ltd 1977-2003

BC Geographical Names https://apps.gov.bc.ca/pub/bcgnws/

The Coast of British Columbia: Including the Juan de Fuca Strait, Puget Sound, Vancouver and Queen Charlotte Islands, United States. Hydrographic Office, U.S. Government Printing Office, 1891 - British Columbia

Dictionary Of Canadian Biography http://www.biographi.ca/en/bio/richards_george_henry_12E.html

Cobble Hill Historical Society https://cobblehillhistory.org/vignettes/item/26-hms-hecate

https://www.thecanadianencyclopedia.ca/en/article/vancouver-island#:~:text=The%20Treaty%20of%20Washington%20(1846,of%20British%20Columbia%20in%201871

Image Citations:

Nootka (Nuu-cha-nulth) House, 1903, Meany, Edmond S. (1862-19350 IN Meany Album v.2, p. 26, Digital Collection: American Indians of the Pacific Northwest Images, Edmond Meany Collection no. 132, Negative Number: NA 1150

Nuu-chah-nulth children at Friendly Cove, 1930s Alamy Stock Photo/Contributor Matteo Omied, Image ID 2BD7Y77

HMS Hecate - Public Domain

Captain George Henry Richards, Royal Navy; HMS Hecate and HMS Plumper, BC Archives, A-02432

#vancouverisland #hecate #hekate #history #colonization #uncededland

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theofm · 4 years

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𝐰𝐨𝐰 𝐢'𝐦 𝐡𝐨𝐧𝐞𝐬𝐭𝐥𝐲 beyond excited for this ! to say i’m rusty is a total understatement , but we here to survive ( not thrive ) in this house while i get reacquainted .. my theme is also a work in progress because tumblr decided to ATTACK me with an invalid html error , but we’re pushing through . anyway , all that aside ? i go by leesh & i’m living it up in the pacific tz ( pst ) . my pronouns are she / her & if you want to find me on discord i’m at 𝘪𝘵 𝘪𝘴 𝘸𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘪𝘵 𝘪𝘴 🥳#9405 .

* 𝐡𝐚𝐦𝐩𝐭𝐨𝐧𝐬𝐠𝐨𝐬 here and do i have the tea for you . theo is back in bridgehampton for the summer , living off the richards’ family $758 million net worth . must be nice to come back home to the hamptons , i wonder what his fellow class of 2017 grads think of his return . you know , he was known around town as the conciliatory and for bhs senior superlatives he was crowned as most likely to become a motivational speaker . i wonder if that still holds true today , a lot can change when you go off to the university of california — los angeles and study political science & international relations . either way , i bet he is still very venturesome , debonair , heedless and boisterous . hopefully this time next year the plans to get a master’s degree & get accepted into the pathways internship program come true . in the meantime , i look forward to seeing him blast 3005 - childish gambino at every hamptons function . it’s going to be a wild summer home , welcome back . ( jacob elordi ) .

. * › statistics .

𝐧𝐚𝐦𝐞 : theodore richards 𝐧𝐢𝐜𝐤𝐧𝐚𝐦𝐞𝐬 : theo 𝐚𝐠𝐞 + 𝐝𝐚𝐭𝐞 𝐨𝐟 𝐛𝐢𝐫𝐭𝐡 : august 29th , 1999 . 𝐚𝐬𝐭𝐫𝐨𝐥𝐨𝐠𝐢𝐜𝐚𝐥 𝐬𝐢𝐠𝐧 : virgo 𝐠𝐞𝐧𝐝𝐞𝐫 + 𝐩𝐫𝐨𝐧𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐬 : cis male + he / him 𝐩𝐥𝐚𝐜𝐞 𝐨𝐟 𝐛𝐢𝐫𝐭𝐡 : new york , new york 𝐩𝐥𝐚𝐜𝐞 𝐨𝐟 𝐫𝐞𝐬𝐢𝐝𝐞𝐧𝐜𝐞 : bridgehampton , new york 𝐬𝐞𝐱𝐮𝐚𝐥 𝐨𝐫𝐢𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧 : heterosexual 𝐫𝐨𝐦𝐚𝐧𝐭𝐢𝐜 𝐨𝐫𝐢𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧 : heteroromantic 𝐨𝐜𝐜𝐮𝐩𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧 : student 𝐧𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐚𝐥𝐢𝐭𝐲 : american 𝐞𝐭𝐡𝐧𝐢𝐜𝐢𝐭𝐲 : caucasian 𝐥𝐚𝐧𝐠𝐮𝐚𝐠𝐞𝐬 𝐬𝐩𝐨𝐤𝐞𝐧 : english

. * › background .

— born to jacob & marissa richards , the former a composer & the latter to become a u.s. ambassador , theo was the product of a love story for the ages . originally marissa cardiff , his mother was born into a wealthy and politically tied family . the high-status claim that theo is so accustomed to originated here , privileged having been an understatement . so when she'd fallen in love with an aspiring musician & composer , her family was far from happy . her & jacob hardly cared , believing that they could live a happy life without the wealth and support of the cardiff name .

— insert theo , the pride & joy of their marriage & for a while .. the glue keeping them together . co-parenting was the first of many faults for the older richards , disagreeing on matters constantly & beginning to struggle financially without the support of marissa's parents . for the lifestyle his mother wanted him to have , primed & proper with the best brands to his name , she realized she hadn't set him up for success in this way . the household began to erupt in constant fighting , a battle that a toddler was painstakingly unaware of . jacob's anger issues were becoming more & more prominent , continuing on until marissa eventually deemed her current situation no longer ideal for herself nor for theo . she'd gathered their belongings in the middle of the night & vanished without a trace , knowing that the cardiff name & the power attached to it would be enough to protect them both from any repercussions .

— of course , theo's grandparents welcomed them into their home with open arms . they were simply thankful that their daughter was finished chasing what they saw to be a wild fantasy , a romeo & juliet plot destined for failure from the beginning . from then on , they both lived at the cardiff estate . theo , shoved into a private school uniform & sent to become exposed to a world of money & power , his mother rising in the ranks to eventually earn her spot as a successful u.s. ambassador for the country .

— theo was primed and polished to follow in his mother’s footsteps in politics , the expectations in his life having been clear from a very young age . follow the sought-after path of the his family , or suffer the consequences . his grandparents , though loving , pushed obligations onto their grandson to make a name for himself . they ensured that his father was kept out of his life , battling & paying him off until he had eventually stopped trying to reconnect with his son . they told him not to make the same mistake as his mother , bolstered him on a path to becoming notorious in the field of politics . this came with immense pressures , especially with his own mother's absence due to work ( among other things ) & wholly believing that there was no other path that he was fitted to pursue .

— however , it wasn’t as if his path of politics was unwilling in any way , his participation in various policy projects throughout high school & extra-circulars such as model un had piqued theo's interests in a different area –– politics . as with most things , he’s motivated by doing what he can to please & earn the affection of the people around him . with that being said , working in politics would allow him to accomplish that goal . as incentivized as he is by the notion of making a direct difference on the people around him & his country , with such a line of work comes great pressure .

— while theo was completing school & living with his grandparents , his mother was either away for work or entertaining the likes of what theo had come to know as many different men . following her failed marriage , she became a serial dater of only the most elite & wealthiest that bridgehampton had to offer . eventually , she settled down once again .. but only after theo had grown up for practically his whole life disapproving of the men she was with . his step-father & step-sister joined their family in theo's early high school years , & the four of them packed up & moved from the cardiff estate to a mansion of their own .

— moving across the country to attend school at ucla absolutely changed his life . being exposed to a whole new sea of people did wonders for the boy’s social life , & being away from the pressures of his family made theo feel like he could finally breathe for once . he’s coming back to bridgehampton with loads of new memories & stories to share . still , something about high school resonates with him — he holds the connections he made there closer to his heart , & there was no denying his excitement when it came time to return home . he still holds out hope that maybe one day he’ll be reunited with his dad , but he seemed to have vanished off the planet .

. * › personality .

— the need to fight for attention & acknowledgement from his own family remained strong . from this , a desire to be liked above all quickly emerged . displaying an agreeable personality has always been theo's way of life — partially because the extrovert within him prefers it , but also because of the male's constant seeking of approval from those around him . theo struggles to always be the guy that everyone expects him to be & never stumble or make a public mistake .

— high school was certainly a whirlwind for theo . he was one of those individuals that knew practically EVERYONE , & he exerted effort to make himself particularly likeable to all . he was rarely home , either hitting after-school spots with friends or attending parties whenever they were thrown . he was also involved in various clubs , teams & associations , taking any opportunity to meet people . undoubtedly , he managed to receive quite a bit of romantic attention in high school too , & i would have expected him to date during those years .

— paired with his sociability is a certain level of carelessness that tends to get him in trouble . when he's out of the watchful eye of those around him , he is more than likely to conjure up a few schemes despite the risk . he'll jump at any opportunity to follow someone into complete darkness , i really don't know how i produced such an idiot . but , to touch on another side to him –– the hopeless romantic energy is strong in this one . he falls hard & fast , is loyal to a fault & is absolutely a relationship type of guy — even if he’s had his fair share of hookups in high school & at ucla . always being surrounded by people has caused theo to develop a fear of being alone , the root cause behind his attachments to others regardless of the relationship .

— it’s not always easy maintaining his composure . there are many days where theo naturally exudes his personality , genuinely enjoying the company of others & wanting to earn approval from the people he cares about . other times , it proves to be more difficult .. particularly when it comes to controlling his anger & other impulses that can arise when he’s rubbed the wrong way . though his mother & grandparents influence most aspects of his life , his temper is one thing that he inherited from his father . sometimes the thought of bringing dishonour to his family or the repercussions he could face as a result of his actions are enough to settle his irrationality , but every once in a while he loses control . i wouldn't put it past him to have gotten in physical fights or developed some enemies along the way , & his temper could easily lead him to end up in a sticky situation .

— when theo is alone & quiet strikes him , he has a tendency to become buried in the worries & pressures that could very well consume him at any moment . the less he’s by himself , the less he has to think about the future or his fears .. like the possibility of ending up alone . he’ll take any opportunity to be surrounded by people , receiving the social interaction he craves & keeping his mind off of the more negative aspects in his life . if that isn’t an option , theo will turn to spotify or his guitar instead — he’s always played & has found music to help him drown out what he otherwise considers to be the deafening silence that welcomes his deepest & darkest thoughts . once he’s had a night out with those closest to him or he takes time to indulge in his music , he finds it much easier to keep up the demeanour that is always expected of him .

— despite his distaste towards his mother's marriage , the male is rather protective over his step-sister & others that he considers himself closest to . fierce loyalty & protectiveness mixed with his anger are sometimes a recipe for disaster , so i’d watch out for that one .

. * › headcanons .

— aesthetics : blasting music while driving around the city at 3am , setting 5+ alarms and ignoring them all , leather jackets , sneaking out , empty beer bottles , profanity , ray bans , parties , holes in walls , restless nights , takeaway coffee cups .

. * › connections .

if you managed to make it through my rambling mess , i have to thank you . now we get onto the good stuff , huh ? i'm just going to list some of my most wanted connections , but i also love plotting based off chem so you can fully expect me to want to learn everything about your muse in order to do so . without further ado .. here we go !

ex(es) : like i said , theo falls hard & fast & definitely exudes simp energy sometimes . i could see him having dated quite a bit , & i’d be open to ex connections that ended on good terms .. bad terms .. anything at all .

fwb(s) : could be past or present , i mean ? a man has needs DSKJSDNJKSD your muse or him could’ve caught feels which caused them to end it , it could’ve been because he attends school all the way in cali , maybe it’s a new thing now that he’s back in bridgehampton . just gimme ..

bro(s) : theo is honestly SUCH a bro . give me his best guy friends from guy school who he always hung out with .. give me them treating each other’s houses like their own , all the late night shenanigans but the occasional emo talk when things get deep . the more bros the merrier , maybe even a guy squad ?

idk i’m so bad at these , just give me chem based things thanks !

#. * 𝐅𝐈𝐋𝐄𝐃 › out of character .#took me long enough and half of u are asleep but #here we are #entitled:intro

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skreekies · 4 years

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I Used To Say “All Lives Matter.” Here’s why I stopped, and think you should, too.

I hope this reaches someone who is confused, scared, and unsure, just like I was.

Hello. My name is Emma. I’m a white kid from North Carolina, raised by a couple of Canadians. Not terribly long ago, I was one to believe that it was impossible for all police to be bad. I was also one to do research into the negative effects of the Black Lives Matter movement’s actions. I don’t even consider any of these anymore, but I see people I love exhibiting these same ideas and values. I’m writing today to explain to you how and why I changed my mind, perhaps so you can understand.

When I was 14, Michael Brown was murdered by his local police. I was heartbroken and angry. But, while I did speak up in support of BLM, on the side I dug deeper into the idea that it might not be a great thing. I was quicker to be willing to dismiss the growing revolution than I was to join in. Why?

Looking back, I believe I was truly overwhelmed, and did not realize how overwhelming I found it all. I had a quiet desperation to neutralize everything, to say, “not all cops” and “not all black people” at the same time. That made it easier; processing the un-processable sorrow of millions of black Americans that I truly wished was not real. I was a pacifist. I wanted every breathing creature to live in peace and happiness. I still do. So why am I not going about it the same way now?

Let’s talk about ACAB. Why ARE all cops “bastards”? This acronym, as I understand it, was not made to suggest that each individual cop is a horrifyingly racist monster. What ACAB represents is the fact that police who work for the police system, which is historically and systematically racist in and of itself, who continue to work for that system and/or are silent in the face of these great injustices enacted by it, are part of the problem. Being silent is the least helpful thing anyone can do. It says: “No matter how I feel, I can’t bring myself to fight for the change I may or may not want to see”. So, yes. All cops who do little or nothing to help in the reconstruction of their rotten system are, indeed, bastards.

Now, why do I no longer indulge myself in researching the unsavory acts of “the good guys”? Why am I fast to jump in with the anger and protest and slow to join in on talk of the repercussions of their actions? This is because I’ve come to understand that anger is not an evil emotion- anger is liberating and powerful and is the cause of many great successful protests. Stonewall and World War II were not seen or won by peacefully roaming the street singing Kumbaya; they were won with destruction, passion, and anger.

I’m one to believe no one is beyond saving. But I understand now that bigots and killers are only salvageable if they choose to listen. Racists of past and present have made it abundantly clear they are not interested in hearing what black people have to say.

Black people have tried being peaceful. They have tried taking a knee. They have tried befriending and loving those who hate them. But it has never been enough and never will be enough. Love alone cannot save everyone, and it cannot prevent more innocent black people from being murdered. Hitler would never have surrendered; he had to end his life before his terrorism was stopped. We cannot sit and wait for another 6 years to see if the police system has a sudden change of heart. Change must rip violently through it from the inside out.

And yes, I did wonder why we didn’t just say “All Lives Matter” instead of "just" black ones. I’m no longer entirely sure of why this specifically was. Perhaps I wasn’t used to feeling excluded due to my sheltered, white only-child life. But now I have a crystal-clear understanding that, duh, all lives matter, but that’s not the point. The point is black people have been treated like dirt for centuries, and THAT matters. White people have always inherently mattered to the United States, nobody even needs to SAY white lives matter, we've NEVER had to say that. It’s the black ones who are in danger, have always been in danger, and who need all of our help.

Now, the looting. Is it bad? Yeah. Is it worth writing an essay about instead of a black man having his neck knelt on for 9 minutes, resulting in his death? No. I can acknowledge the fact that some actions of protesters are wrong, and still not give it the time of day in favor of the bigger problem. That is what the system wants; for you to be angry at something easier, like I was at the age of 14. Be mad that a perfectly fine Arby’s was burnt to the ground, make 3 Facebook posts about THAT instead of the murder of George Floyd.

The buildings will come back. Target themselves have stated that they are not concerned with having to rebuild their stores; that’s what insurance is for. If they’re truly a good company, their employees will get paid leave, too. If not, that’s a whole other nasty problem that needs fixing.

Small businesses are another story, of course. Target and Arby’s are big business. They can afford to rebuild and keep paying their employees. Small businesses cannot necessarily, and I do condemn those who light them ablaze (unless, of course, they are known to be owned by racists and/or other nasty types of humans).

Here’s where things get tricky. We haven’t forgotten about the pandemic, and there are plenty of protesters with no masks. I support the protests 100%, but not those who go without the proper protection. With masks, gloves, and other such precautions, protests become doable- just like going to the grocery store. Without masks, you put yourself and others in danger. It’s a very tricky situation, because indeed these protests are necessary. You can agree or disagree with that all you like. No change has ever come from taking no action.

The fact of the matter is, I and millions of others are tired and out of patience. I do not have the naive faith I had at 14. I understand now that it is up to all of us to make our voices heard and not ever shut up. I do not have faith in the police to sort itself out; I have faith in us.

I understand that talking about this can be uncomfortable, exhausting, and heartbreaking. I certainly felt all those things when I was 14, and I feel them now. But now I know how to manage myself, how to take care of my mental state in the face of a world on fire.

I am no longer afraid. I am enraged, loud, and tired. I stand with Black Lives Matter now and until the day I die.

I’m angry. And I won’t stop being angry until I or this broken racist system dies.

#ACAB #black lives matter #BLM #george floyd #breonna taylor #ahmaud arbery #my writing #riot #protest #protests #raleigh #nc #north carolina

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renee-writer · 4 years

Text

Learning To Love Chapter 149 Repercussions

Grace lays in Daniel's arms in a borrowed bed in the dormitory on base. She needs to sleep. She desperately needs the rest but is way to keyed up. Having her husband back helps a lot but they aren't home. How is she to get past that.

"It will be okay Grace. We caught them all."

"I know. But the house Daniel."

"Everything in there is replacable."

"No, not our wedding pictures, the blanket your mom made us, the blanket that Patrick was wrapped in!" She sobs against him.

"Oh baby, wrong choice of words. You are right."

"I know it is just stuff. But, it was ours. It represents us. Our marriage. Our son." She cries.

"Yes. But you are here, in my arms. You are irreplaceable. You are safe in my arms." He holds her tight as he can. The fact that he almost lost her was not something he would soon forget. Whoever set this up has made a fatal mistake. One they wouldn't live long to regret.

Willy lays a few doors down holding Amy on one side and John Mark on the other. He wants to do nothing else. He had came way to close to losing them.

"Ars you sure you got them all?" Amy asks.

"Yes baby. We captured seven and took four out."

"Good. I wish you would have killed them all." Willy looks at her with wide eyes. His tender, calm, sweet wife was saying this" "I am serious. They tried to kill us. John Mark and I as well as all the other families. They deserve to die."

"Oh I agree. But we need to get the answers first. Someone sent them here. When I find out who, when we find out, we will see them dealt with."

"Good." She lays quiet for a moment. "We are safs here, right?"

"Yes baby. The base is still in lockdown and the threat level is as high as it gets." He knows she will need constant reassurance and he is happy to provide it. He thanks God she is here to need reassurance. That they both were.

"Will we be staying here long?"

"Not to long. They will get us a new house in a day or so."

"Okay. Well at least we get to replace the bed he was conceived on." To joke about it helps.

"Good point. You can also decorate it to your taste."

"You know the only thing I will insist on?"

"What's that?"

"A good security system."

"Agree. I am also going to buy us a retired military dog or two. This eon't happen again." He vowes.

The military can move fast when it needs to. The wifes even faster. Within 24 hours", between them, they had the two displaced families moved back into houses on base. The military providing the houses, the wifes furnish them. Amy gets a hold of the photographer who had taken her and Grace's wedding pictures and had new ones ordered from the negatives.

"I know we couldn't replace all the personal stuff but we wanted it to feel as much like home as we could." Carla explains as she leads them into their side by side house.

"Thank you so very much guys." Grace gives her a tight hug.

"This helps a whole lot," Amy agrees.

It does help to be at home or at least in a house. But as they walk through their new houses, it was what wasn't there, that is most evident.

Grace misses the warm blanket that had covered thrm on the bed and the soft plush one that had covered her son, his ultrasound pictures.

Any misses John Mark's first baby picture, the china set her parents had given them as a wedding gift, and William's school desk.

They had lost all their clothes. The other wife's take them shopping. It is hard to replace everything. And again, somethings are irreplaceable. Grace's college sweat shirts, the outfit John Mark wore home from the hospital, their wedding gowns. They spend a lot of time crying the week after the bombing.

Their husbands spend that week working with the FBI, CIA, Homeland Security, and the local MP's, as well as Team 6 to find the mastermind of the attack.

"How can this have happened? Wasn't the point of Homeland Security to coordinate with the alphabet agencies to prevent this type of attack?" Daniel is frustrated. Grace feels unsafe. Even with the new security system and the military dogs both Willy and he were getting. He didn't like his wife feeling unsafe.

"I know Chief. That was the purpose. They have stopped a lot but no one is perfect. At least no one was hurt."

Daniel isn't ready to be reassured. He paces back in forth in front of the table that is full of the intel they have already received. Only one of the ones they had captured, was talking but he has said a lot. They knew it was planned and financed by ISIS. The mastermind may even be behind the other three attacks. They are trying to find out his location. The mission is clear, to find him and take him out. He will not return a prisoner.

Willy stops his brother's frantic pacing. "Chief, the best thing we can do for Grace, Amy, and the others, is to find the bastard that set this up." He gestures to the stacks of papers.

"Right, back to work." Daniel seats back down and pulls the closest stack of papers to him.

"I am late." Grace tells Amy. They are hanging pictures up in Grace and Daniel's new living room, the wedding pictures that Amy had got replaced.

Any turns and stares at her. "Ah, I thought y'all were supposed to wait three months." She finally responds.

"We were. The night after the bombing neither of us thought about that." Grace softly says.

"Gotcha. Ah, is this a good or bad thing?"

"It is a scary thing. I don't know if I am ready to go through this again. So soon after everything else."

"Have you taken a test?"

She shakes her head. "No. Kinda scared to."

"Okay. I will go run and get one and we will see. No matter what, I will be here for you."

"I know. Thanks sis."

"Will you keep an eye on John Mark?"

"No problem." The baby is a week away from being three months and free to be officially adopted by Amy. He lays playing with his feet on a blanket. Grace smiles down at him as his mom runs off to get the test that will determine if he has a cousin on the way.

"One more minute. What are you hoping for?"

"I don't know. Daniel and I want another baby. I am just not sure the timing is right."

"The timing is under God's control. He has this well in hand."

"Yes. He knows what we can handle."

"Yes He does. Does Daniel know?"

"Not yet. Wanted to be sure first."

"Well, it is time to find out." Amy gets up and looks. She knows Grace can't do it. "You ars pregnant."

"Oh," she bursts into tears. Amy drops down beside her, pulling her into her arms

"Are these happy or sad tears?"

"A bit of both."

"I love you Grace. I will be here."

"Pray Amy. I don't know that I can stand losing another one."

"I will."

When Daniel walks in later that evening, Grace just hands him the pregnancy test. He stares at it a minute before he gets it. "We are pregnant?"

"Yes. What do you think?" She fearfully asks him.

"I, ah, it is to soon isn't it?"

"Yes but we weren't really thinking of that the night after the bombing." She reminds him.

"Oh right. I am happy Grace. Scared but happy."

"That's were I am." He sits and pulls her into his lap. The feelings associated with this pregnancy were different then the first one. It saddens him.

"I love you Grace. It is going to be okay." He places his hands over the spot where their newest child grew and prayed for a good outcome. She rests against him.

"I love you too. It has to be okay."

"We will take you to see Ainsely tomorrow. It will be okay Grace." He fervently prays he is telling her the truth.

#my writing #my ocs #learning to love #the military one #repercussions

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beybladeimagines · 4 years

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Loved the headcanon post for the Bladebreakers in their 20s. Any headcanons for my fave team the All Starz in their 20s? Like if they choose a different career or so on? Keep up the great work!! ✌

MAX: You can find Max’s details right here.

MICHAEL: I think Michael would hang on to blading for a hot minute, even if he wasn’t as into it as he initially was. When you think about it, Judy had a pretty strong grasp over all of the All Starz - so much so, that many of them began to question their own self worth and became emotional when Judy, in her own way, didn’t think they were good enough. When people are exposed to this kind of manipulation, they set out to please their manipulator as much as possible in order to avoid negative repercussions - in this case, potentially missing out on a promising future, not meeting their personal goals, or being seen as weak. However, as Michael grows older and sees how the team is distancing themselves to follow their own path, he’ll slowly follow suit.

I can see Michael doing a lot of things. He might try to pursue baseball professionally, but because he’s spent a majority of his time blading, he might lack the extensive amount of experience and skill necessary to really make it big. Michael is also extremely charismatic and gives off some skater vibes. I can picture him getting into a COMPLETELY different hobby, like skating, because there isn’t any negative association attached to it. When he skates, he doesn’t have to think about being seen as the best, he doesn’t have to try to impress anyone, and he certainly doesn’t have to be exposed to any more manipulation. Yeah, he loves baseball, but it reminds him too much of what he had to undergo for so long. I can see Michael getting so into skating, that he creates his own custom boards and eventually works in a skate shop where he helps set people up with their own parts and bases. I think the reason he’s so into that is because he gets to do something productive and he gets to expose people to the very hobby that is slowly making him whole again.

RICK: Rick has always been Judy’s favorite and her constant praise motivated him to be quite the ruthless and successful blader. Even though his team didn’t win the championships, it still didn’t stop him from being celebrated back in his city or scouted by other managers looking for talented bladers. I imagine that Rick still sticks to the blading scene for quite some time. After all, it was through blading that he went from a nobody to a somebody. Additionally, it was through blading that he got to meet Max - someone who essentially made him more comfortable working with others. He owes a lot to blading, as it made him change his perspective, it inspired personal growth, it allowed him to represent his community so that he could bring their identities to light, and it’s making him mad money.

However, if Rick wasn’t pursuing blading, I can see him working at a recording studio. Rick loves music. He loves being in fast paced and loud environments. Sounds seem to soothe him, even if the music is metal. But let’s think about this too: In the anime, we always see Rick giving some kind of advice, even if it’s slightly backhanded and rude. Rick doesn’t mind giving feedback and he has a good ear for sounds that just feel…right. He knows exactly what pitch someone’s voice should transition into, he knows what instruments to add or remove, and he knows how to modify lyrics so that the message is far more clear. Granted, his feedback is straightforward, brash, and a little intense, but once he hears that new solid sound, everyone in the room will begin to praise him for his insight. He does have a gift and it really comes out in the recording studio. I don’t see Rick having his own band or making his own music, per say. But I do see him helping others out and mixing beats.

EMILY: I think Emily has always admired Judy. To her, Judy was this iconic, cut-throat woman who wasn’t afraid to go after what she wanted. Judy reflected this unashamed confidence that Emily strove to mimic and to find within herself. We often see Emily by Judy’s side. She’s either siding with her ideas or immersing herself in the same kind of work that her heroine is doing. Although Emily blades, much of her time is placed into research. Honestly, had she not shown such an interest and skillful ability to attain and analyze player data, Judy might not have paid her much mind. I think Emily knows this, which is why she strives to be so proficient in the research world, because she wants to be recognized by the very woman who really put her on such a promising path. With that said, I don’t see Emily blading anymore as she’s grown older. I see her transitioning strictly to research.

Would she still be with the All Starz? That’s a tough one to answer. Part of me feels like Emily would want to stay, but because her team is essentially disbanded, her current information isn’t exactly needed. I can see Judy recommending her to other facilities - not because she doesn’t value Emily, but I think she’d want her to get more recognition and experience outside the nest. Emily needs to hone her observational skills. She needs to know how to analyze people who she HASN’T basically grown up with. I imagine this line of work makes her feel incredibly lonely. Emily already feels like she needs to isolate herself, because of how hard she works. She likes to tell herself that she’s fine and “never liked being around people anyway,” but she misses the dynamic between her and her team. Would she reach out to them? Probably not. But if she ever saw them again, I think she’d linger around a little longer than usual.

EDDY: Eddy has always found some kind of support from his fellow team members. He chimes in with them on roasting sessions, he hangs out with them during down time, and he’s used to seeing them every day because they all practically live in that research/training facility. He always told himself they’d be together forever, because they’ve endured so much and went through so many lengths to become superior bladers. And yet… He realizes that many of his teammates became disenchanted and even traumatized from their excessive exposure to training and self imposed ideas of worthlessness. Over time, Eddy too begins to fall out of love with blading. It just didn’t feel like the initial sport he fell in love with. If anything, he only ever enjoyed himself when he went against Michael or Steven, because they never made him feel inferior.

I can see Eddy going back to school, since he has more time with it. I can see him getting a scholarship for basketball. He appreciates every second of college, because he finally gets a breather and finally gets to live a normal life where he isn’t being groomed to be perfect. Eddy feels like he’s missed out on a large chunk of living normally… So, he enjoys the little things, like not having curfew, or being able to indulge in junk food and not having to appease a diet, and even doing something as dreadful as homework. At least with homework, he knows what he’s doing wrong and can actually strive to make himself better without getting mixed signals. Eddy takes pride in being able to represent his school, because he knows his school has given him something that makes him feel fulfilled, validated, and passionate about.

STEVEN: Steven has gone on a JOURNEY when it comes to blading. He started off strong and as a normal part of the team, until he received his injury. As I always say, I imagine that injury gave him some perspective and completely changed his mentality on blading. While sitting on the sidelines, he saw how easily he was replaced. He tried to tell himself that he’d be welcomed back with open arms, but he always knew that Rick would be a more permanent addition to the team. Yes, his TEAM welcomed him back, but Judy and the facility were a bit more hesitant. It destroyed him to see how quickly his career crumbled. When he healed again, he didn’t have much of an interest to return to blading or football. However, I do imagine he continues to have a high interest in both sports, but is aware of how devastating an injury can be to one’s prosperous future. I think he’d strive to get into sports medicine to make sure no one else endures the same fate.

Sports medicine usually requires a degree. I can see him going back to school. Not only that, but he’d actually take the experience seriously. Every day, he thinks about how his own life had changed. It’s hard for him to forget just how frightened, anxious, and frustrated he felt. He never wants anyone to have to experience that same level of uncertainty and confusion, and that serves as his motivation to get his education. Steven is actually amazing at the healing process. He remembers every detail of what worked for him when he was recovering and he passes that knowledge onto those he encounters. Steven still has physical trauma, so that interferes with his ability to stay active for long periods of time. But this doesn’t stop him from working out. Steven goes hard in the gym in order to maintain his physique (and to release that pent up rage that still has yet to be shaken).

#beyblade #beyblade imagine #all starz #michael summers #rick anderson #steven #eddy #emily watson #headcanon #goomyplush

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owxanimorphs · 4 years

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Before the Re-read the Animorphs

Okay before I begin my re-read this is my thoughts on the main cast based on my memory of the last times I read the books (which varies between a few months ago for some and several years for others)

Let's get the hard one out of the way first. I'll start with my thoughts on Cassie. I make no secret that Cassie is the only Animorph I actively dislike. In a way it is tragic because as I've said before Cassie had potential as a character. A character with a very black and white viewpoint and a strong desire to stick to their point of view no matter the cost being confronted with the messy nature or war could have been a gold mine for interesting story lines. Instead Cassie is cast as the voice of morality and the conscience of the group which is a role she is absolutely terrible at. Because in the end she's no more moral than the rest of them (arguably actively even less moral) and her being right is more a function of being creators pet than any real logical story progression. Things work out for her because the creators say even when it breaks the story or contradicts established facts.

In Essence everything wrong with Cassie is everything wrong with the books as a whole which makes her a pretty big example of what not to do in writing. However, even if you ignore all that and focus only her personality she is still lacking. When first introduced Cassie is your typical childish self centered idealist. She puts great value on the things she cares about and tries not to thinka bout things that contradict that view point. Then she doens't really change she's a static character.

There is one redeeming factor about Cassie that is interesting but since it was unintentional I can't give complete credit to the creators for it. Cassie is a perfect example of everything wrong with Empathy as a stand in for goodness. Cassie is actually a very empathic character but she is also a very selfish character. Once she empathises with someone they become "Good" in her mind and she'll bend over backwards to justify making decisions that would negatively effect folks she isn't empathising with. It also informs how she is determined to stay in others good graces and only fights them when she can play the martyr. Which reminds me of my wish that David had stuck around longer and been a foil to Cassie for a while because they really are starkly similar characters in most regards except Cassie has an almost over developed sense of Empathy (to the point she can be okay with horrendous shit if she empathizes with the ones doing it) and David has almost none outside of the things he cares out. They are both also able to manipulate people to get what they want. And they read people very well to keep in their good graces or really hurt them if they piss them off enough.

But that isn't what this post is about so to sum up my view on Cassie is that she had potential but what we got was a horrendous character and the biggest disappointment of the books.

Now let's move onto another hard one to talk about and that is Tobias. When I first read the books oh so long ago I way over identified with Tobias but then I was a messed up lonely kid so it's not that surprising. Looking back on them as an adult it flew over my head back then how utterly fucked up Tobias is. This is not a healthy kid even before he got stuck as a hawk. Tobias was clearly already borderline suicidal even before the hawk thing and afterwards it and everything else in many ways turned into a much slower long and detailed decline into an early death. Tobias hated himself so he chose to give up all humanity forever. Which brings us to the problem with Tobias and that is the narrative never acknowledges how fucked up his situation is. Sure some of the other characters come close but they never fully grasp it.Tobias is in many ways one of the other great disappointments of the books because early on they clearly drop hints that he has a major role to play in things to the point where the freaking Ellimist preserves his existence by bending space time twice once to keep him around and then to ensure the animorphs happened and then the plot line is abandoned in favor of creators pet Cassie being the most important and special.

Now I love stories where the chosen one isn't that chosen after all but that needs to be intended from the beginning when you heavily lay on the foreshadowing that this is going to be an important element you need to address it. Instead the potential story line just peters out in a way that doesn't amount to anything not even a subversion. Tobias then sticks around to be a general misery magnet and to have the most unhealthy relationship possible with Rachel.

I mean I know stories change direction in production and over time and some times that leads to better stories and some times it leads to obvious dropped plot lines and a general degrading of quality. Animorphs sadly is in the second category. Part of it of course was the real world rush to churn out the books for Schoolastic but parts of it were clearly the writers getting a bit too enamored of their pets and how they wanted things to end.

I'm getting off topic again. My view on Tobias is that he's an interesting character and one that you can pity but man is that boy fucked up.

Now let's move onto Ax the Andalite Animorph and the other one besides Cassie and Tobias who ends up kind of one note. Ax plays an interesting role since hes alien and the books do a good job of showing an alien viewpoint. Far better in his case than many of the other aliens. It helps that he's basically a slacker alien who was a poor student and probably only got brung along on the ship because his big brother pulled some strings.

Ax is also a prime example of another time when the potential of the story gets left by the way side. Ax's torn loyalties should have come up more than they did and should have had more lasting repercussions. Way too often he'll get reduced to joke one note status when he should be figuring into things more. I don't have much more to say about him since I really remember as liking him but thinking he was wasted several times.

And now we'll move onto Marco a character who when I first read the books annoyed the crap out of me but as I grew older grew on me a great deal. Marco is a wonderful example of a character who can be obnoxious to protect themselves and despite being the other creators pet he is allowed to actually change in ways that are both good and bad so he's not another Cassie. The fact he's even allowed to disagree with her at least temporarily and call her on her BS very rarely also helps. Marco is also very realistic in that he reacts like many people would and for a lot of folks it would take somethign that affected them personally to make them fight as hard as the kids had to end up fighting.

Of course there is still one irritating thing about Marco and that's how he's often forced into the role of the complainer is wrong some times for the others (esp Cassie) to be right. It's a role he shares wtih Rachel she'll suggest the violent solution so it can be rejected and he'll suggested the better strategic solution but it'll be rejected for being wrong.

So final thoughts on Marco slightly annoying at times but very realistic and really grows on you.

Now let's talk about Rachel and this is the character whose fate pisses me off the most. I have no problem with character death in a story but Rachel's death is treated by the creators as necessary and it bleeds into the narrative abit and that really pisses me off. She's also unfortunately the one who gets the most chaotic characterization as depending on teh writer how aggressive she is varies. Not to mention the books that paint her as a control freak. Of course you can hand wave it as the stress getting to her in different less pretty ways but that raises it's own problems with with how the narrative treats her. She's often also used as a foil to shill for Cassie and that bugs me. She and her cousin get the most discussion of Cassie's moral superiority though everyone gets a turn on it.

And what is really sad is that she only gets to really call out Cassie and the others very rarely even though they are some of the most satisfying moments in the entire series. She's right when she calls out that the others need her to be the blood thirsty one. She's actually someone clearly sacrificing for the greater good but the narrative treats her as a blood knight. It really pisses me off and while her relationship with Tobias isn't even remotely healthy it makes a lot of sense because the others treat her as damaged and thanks to his neediness he'll never look at her as a monster like the others tend to do to make themselves feel better.

I'll make one final observation and that's that poor Rachel may have died twice in the series the first time being the starfish incident. Cause the Rachel that was split in half would never exist again. The two Rachels may have been re-merged but they had each had time to begin to diverge so what was formed out of them would be a new Rachel. Hell a lot of her issues later in the series could have been a direct result of that and it would make perfect sense.

Final thoughts on Rachel she deserved so much better and was probably one of the more selfless animorphs but gets written off by the narrative as just a blood knight too damaged to live.

Now let's move onto Jake who is actually my favorite character. I know a lot of folks find him boring and generic at first but that's exactly why he's the character that interest me the most because even more than the others he was just a kid when this mess started. You can see the seeds of who everyone else turned out to be in who they were at the start but Jake was just a kid who was slightly more mature and better able to mediate. That got him forced into the leadership Role and from there for good or ill that's the role he got stuck with. Like Rachel he became exactly what the others needed him to be and at times it wasn't pretty.

I mean it's so easy to picture how the others would have turned out, Cassie would have ended up one of those activist who says a lot of good things but is very much a walking illustration of perfect is the enemy of good with her probably doing more harm than help to her causes by turning folks off with her my way or the highway stance. Rachel would have excelled at whatever chosen path she took with incredible zeal and bending herself to be what folks in her life needed. Ax would have lived in the shadow of his brother as a semi competent warrior at best, Tobias would have remained very fucked up and Marco would have done what it took to not be poor and mask all his hurts with laughter and entertaining folks. Jake on the other hand is the one that just sort of was. He could end up really generic or find something he's good at and make it his life.

Instead he was given the role of responsibility and for the most part he carried the burden though his putting Cassie on a pedestal constantly was one part character flaw and one part character shilling by the creators. It was a realistic flaw he liked her and wanted her to like him. That was very human and relatable but his constant support for some of her more stupid moments crossing the line into plot induced stupidity.

One part that is really sad is that he's often compared with Elfangor and the narrative takes the appraoch that he falls short but honestly to me Jake comes off as more of a success than Elfangor and I wish the narrative acknowledged it. Of course I'll share my thoughts on Elfangor in another post.

There is more I could go into but this post has gotten long enough for now so final Thoughts on Jake generic kid forced to grow up even faster than others. Has an irritating blind spot when it comes to Cassie but over all my favorite of the kids.

#animorphs #animorphs 2020reread #Before the Reread

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juliussneezerfics · 4 years

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Blood Red Lilies and Baby Blue Cornflowers: Chapter 4 - Aggression

After a much-needed year at England's house, Germany must journey over to America's. Will America's resentment and lack of compassion bring Germany's internalized rage to the surface?

Ao3

******

Though he tried to suppress the thought, he couldn't help but considert he awkwardness of his current situation. He was sitting in a car next to a seething America in the back seat. The two drivers in the front glanced back at Germany in the rearview mirror occasionally, blowing away any hope Germany had of having a private conversation with the country. While Germany's seperation from England hadn't exactly been tearful, he already found himself missing the guarded nation. Germany didn’t die alone at the end of that tenth month at England’s. England sat there, his face ghastly white as he talked calmly to Germany. Germany had no idea what England had said during those last terrifying moments of life. He could barely register the calming sound of his level voice over the wheezing of his chest. Over the sound of his coughs. His grunts as he succumbed to a ghastly pain.

Those two remaining months were different. The two never mentioned the death. England had treated Germany as if he had woken up from a long nap, offering him breakfast and talking about some paperwork that had come in. The two got along as they did before, with slightly lowered walls. They held conversations during meals instead of confining themselves to books. Instead of Germany holing up in England's library, the two sat in the common room. Together, they did their own solitary tasks. All in all, it wasn’t a bad two months. Still, Germany wished he could have spent his time there normally instead of succumbing to death in the way he did.

He was shocked out of his musings as the car began to bounce on gravel. Germany peered out the window with interest. He had never been to America's house. The house was bigger than any other countries’. The architecture was obviously inspired by the white house, the spotless white exterior supported over a huge porch by blank columns. A rather dramatic staircase led up to the two large double doors. Lining either side of the driveway were neat hedges, trimmed to perfection. The car rolled to a stop, Germany swallowing something down. He wasn't sure what it was, but some sudden animalistic instinct in him told him to turn tail and run. To never come back. To go anywhere without a building and relish the wind. The rain. To walk in the grass without shoes for once.

Like Italy did.

Perhaps Germany was going stir crazy.

“You get out of your door, I’ll get out of mine.” America instructed.

Germany nodded, cracking open his door. He hefted his bag on his shoulder as he stood. He watched as America rounded the back of the car, expecting him to continue his path up to his house. Instead, he was surprised to see America stop in front of him. America's blue, searching eyes settled upon him like he was waiting for something.

“What?” Germany found that he had to work to keep his voice nonchalant. He wasn't sure what it was, but something made him want to snap at America. Get him to leave him alone.

“Lead the way.” America prompted.

Germany turned toward him, his gaze lowering to America’s fingers as they twitched toward his back. He turned his gaze back up, recalling that America had a habit of tucking his pistol between his belt and his pants. “Really?”

“No telling when you’re going to run, man.”

Germany sighed through his nose, but said nothing as he turned to the house and began the trek to the steps. He stepped up the stairs, drawing closer and closer to the top of the porch. He stopped and faced the driveway and yard. He relished these last few moments he would have outside before he would return to his prison. Shutting his eyes, he relished the feeling of the sun on his skin. Of the wind caressing the sharp features of his face. If he really tried, it was like he could remember a better time. He wasn't sure if he could remember freedom.

He couldn't decide if he had ever truly been free.

“Get a move on. It’s too late to escape.” America prompted Germany with his gaze.

Germany grunted at him, finishing the walk to his prison. This was going to be a long year.

Indeed, he was correct. The first two weeks were… interesting. Wherever Germany would go, America would not be far behind. He would go to the living room to read a book, America coming in to join him not five minutes later under the pretense of listening to the radio. He could go to the kitchen to refill his glass of water, America following to grab a snack. The only place Germany could snag a few moments’ peace was up in his room, but even then he had a time limit of five minutes to get what he needed. He was allowed in his room during the night for rest, but even then he was locked within his own quarters. Perhaps it was stubborn of him to regard this solitude negatively, but even this felt like part of America's game. To give him what he truly wanted, to be truly alone, and to lock him alone in a room with himself. For hours with only his thoughts to keep him company.

At first, Germany took this to be an intimidation tactic. A temporary arrangement intended to let Germany know who the boss was before America finally backed off. But no. It had been two weeks and Germany had hardly been left alone. It was starting to grate on his nerves. These thoughts prompted him to peer over the top of his book. To settle his gaze on his captor as America sat in front of the radio and listened to the tinny voice coming through the speakers. Though they were in the sitting room, a communal area, the very presence of the man set his teeth on edge. He put down his book, grabbing his empty glass from the coffee table. He coughed in his hand as he stood, ignoring America as he stood and left the living room to refill his cup. He’d hardly entered the room when America paced in behind him.

Germany sighed, slamming the glass down. “What do you want?”

America glared, apparently undisturbed by this outburst. “I came in here for an apple.”

“Your third one today?” Germany grunted doubtfully. "Very convenient how you're only hungry when I need to refill my glass."

“Look, okay? You tore the world apart. I don’t know what kind of special treatment you’ve been getting at the others’, but don’t forget you’re a prisoner under strict security.” America bit out.

“I haven’t even tried to escape!”

“Yet.”

Germany growled, turning to face America fully. “I don’t know what you plan to accomplish by tailing me, but all I’m asking is that you trust me to-”

“Trust you with what?!” America burst, his usually cheerful voice raw with anger. “We can’t trust you with shit! You started both world wars! You’ve ripped us all to shreds twice! What, you want me to count to five and give you a time out?”

“That wasn’t me.” Germany said darkly. “That was my leadersh-”

“You’re a grown-ass man, Germany! Grown-ass men feel shame when they do something wrong! Grown-ass men take repercussions, just like the rest of us!”

Germany’s brow furrowed further as he coughed into his elbow. The nerve of this man. “You speak like you’re blameless.”

America’s glare loosened into one of question.

“Don’t you dare speak down to me when your history is the bloodiest of us all. Have you really forgotten slavery?! The persecution of Native Americans?! How many lives were lost then?!”

America’s expression darkened to cold fury. “Shut the hell up.”

“You’re not innocent either!” Germany continued.

America surged forward until the two were toe to toe, him looking up at Germany’s face in challenge. “You want to say that again? See what happens?” His voice was quiet. Nothing but a murmur. Like he was suppressing something he could barely control.

Germany leaned down, reveling in the height difference between the two. The resentment that grew within him for the past three years was boiling toward the surface. The knowledge that he would die a painful death for all eternity. The fact that he so desperately loved someone who left his feelings unreturned. The fact that he was blamed for wars that he didn’t even start. The fact that so many lives fell at his hands. Knowing that America had so much war and pain in his history, and yet he was talking down to Germany like he was a saint. He let the words at the back of his mind roll off his tongue slowly, allowing the pause between them to pound at America’s conscience like a sledgehammer. “You. Are. A. Hypocrite.”

America immediately surged forward, seizing Germany by the collar of his shirt.

Germany grabbed America’s hands and ripped them from his shirt, propping a leg behind America’s knees. He pushed America over, tripping him.

America let out a sharp exhale as the back of his head hit the tile of the floor, but his glare never loosened as he tried to sit up.

Germany surged forward, intent on pinning America down to the floor. Before he could, America planted a foot in his chest and kicked Germany away with a shout.

Germany flew backward, his torso and head smacking against the drawers under the counter and landing on the floor. He hardly noticed, however, as his throat was blocked. The force of America’s kick disturbed the petals within Germany’s chest. Germany coughed desperately, bending forward to the ground and propping himself up with his arm. At last, a bundle of petals fell onto the floor. Germany sat up against the cupboards and drawers, trying to catch his breath.

America sat on the floor several feet away, his glare completely gone. He panted, trying to catch his breath from the fight. “Grab a seat at the counter, Germany.”

Germany stared at him, surprised as he stood with slight difficulty. He rounded the counter as America also got up.

As Germany sat down, America crossed the room to the fridge. “Beer?”

Germany paused. Well, that was unexpected. “Please.”

America nodded, withdrawing two bottles. He crossed the kitchen to Germany, tossing the bottle in the air. It made a slow arc and landed in America’s hand, him immediately bringing the cap down against the edge of the counter. The cap popped off. America slid the bottle across the counter.

Germany caught it, raising an eyebrow.

“Party trick. You don't even want to know how many bottles I've broke.” America explained soberly, twisted the cap off his bottle of soda. “I can also tie a cherry stem with my tongue.”

Germany nodded, taking a long drag out of the bottle. God, how he missed the taste of beer. It wasn’t as good as what he had at home, but he was still glad to have the familiar taste.

“Look, man, I’m sorry.” America said suddenly, sipping out of his bottle. “I just… I don’t know. I know it’s not your fault. I just want someone to blame, y’know?”

Germany took another drink and nodded.

“I know I’m not blameless. I’ve done a lot of shitty stuff too. But when your boss says you have to do it… you have to do it.”

Germany nodded again.

“You can try and fight it, if you want. But it doesn’t make much of a difference.”

Again, Germany nodded.

“I don’t know how many years I’ve been fighting with my government to give Native Americans bigger reservations. We always act so appalled at what we did to them, but then we do nothing to fix it. It’s everything wrong with humanity.”

“I apologize for what I said.”

America shrugged, taking a swig from his bottle. “Nah, it’s all true. I’ll lay off, though. I don’t know if you noticed, but I can be a little bit childish sometimes.”

Germany raised an eyebrow.

“That’s a joke.” America added, smiling.

Germany gave him a close-mouthed smile as well, taking a sip out of his bottle.

The next couple months were much more amiable. They were never extremely buddy-buddy, but they got along well enough. It was a peaceful environment. Germany’s health slowly degraded, America handling it in an interesting fashion. America would occasionally ask if Germany was okay (much to Germany’s disdain), but more often than not he casually offered to grab Germany something whenever he happened to get up. Instead of taking charge of the situation, he asked Germany what he wanted to do.

Germany coughed up his first flower while sitting on the couch after dinner.

America looked up from his book, noticing the flower sitting in Germany’s lap. “Y’want me to grab you some tea of something?” He looked completely calm. Almost as if he were offering tea under normal circumstances.

Germany glanced over and noticed his mug was empty. “Actually, yes, please.”

“Cool.” America stood. “I wanted to grab a snack anyway.”

Germany handed America the mug, returning promptly to his book as he dropped the flower in a nearby garbage can.

A couple months later when he could hardly get up from the couch, America came in while preparing breakfast. “Hey, do you want to head upstairs to bed, or would you rather stay on the couch, or what?”

Germany frowned thoughtfully. “May just stay on the couch for now.” He coughed into his hand, wincing as it irritated his raw throat.

“Coolio. Hey, you hungry? I’m making soup.”

Germany had also noticed that America’s menu changed as time passed. The two mostly ate clear-brothed soups for lunch and dinner, oatmeal for breakfast. That was the one thing that America had changed without asking Germany. “No, but I’ll eat.”

“Ey, channeling the American way! I’m rubbing off on you, Germany!” America called, returning to the kitchen.

Germany smiled to himself slightly as he stared out the window. His smile fell. The curtains left only a crack of sunlight through into the room, the sunray landing on his right eye. He shifted, wishing more than anything that he could go outside.

America returned with a bowl of soup. He paused, noticing Germany’s look of longing. Thinking for a moment, he quietly returned to the kitchen, setting the bowl of soup on the counter and running up the stairs. “Attic, attic, attic…” He mumbled to himself, opening the door. Boxes and boxes of things were stacked up on top of each other, a thin film of dust covering everything. His brow furrowed. God, he hated this room. And loved it. He shook his head quickly. He had a goal. He stepped among the boxes and various items, going to the back of the room where he knew sat… his face brightened into a grin.

“Gotcha’!” he lurched forward and squeezed between two towers of boxes, pulling the wheelchair forward. It got jammed between the two stacks, America tugging it impatiently. With a final tug, both towers toppled over. America winced as something shattered within the boxes. “… that probably wasn’t important.” He hefted his prize. “God, you’re heavy.” It was awkward to carry down the stairs, but he prevailed. He slammed it onto the ground with a clatter. “Hey, Germany!”

Germany sat up on the couch, peering over. “A wheelchair?”

“Yup!” He rolled it toward the couch. “We’re going to eat outside today.”

Germany raised an eyebrow. “Isn’t that against the rules?”

“I’ve always been a rebel.” He stopped the wheelchair, looking at Germany expectantly. “Get it? Like the revolution?”

Germany blinked.

“Whatever. In the chair you go.”

Germany eyed the chair distastefully, but he hefted himself forward. It was awkward getting in the chair, but he eventually did it.

“You want me to push you, or you cool to do it yourself?”

“I can do it.” Germany decided after experimentally rolling himself forward and backward a few inches. He noted that it was far more difficult to do this than it would have been before he got the cursed disease. A slight grimace marred his face.

“Okay, I’ll grab your soup and we can head out.”

The two headed down the hallway, America balancing a bowl of soup on each hand. Germany got the door and the two sat on the back patio. Spring was just beginning, the trees in America’s backyard blooming with flowers. The breeze played through Germany’s un-slicked hair. The sun shone on his pitifully pale skin. He coughed a flower out as he surveyed the scene around him, allowing it to blow away in the wind. Among the other flowers and petals dancing in the wind, the red-tinged lily almost fit in. Somehow, this was the best he felt since coming down with hanahaki.

America sat in a chair that he dragged from the kitchen, enjoying the scene before him with uncharacteristic silence.

“This is nice.” Germany said.

America nodded. There was another period of silence before he turned to Germany. “Hey, I never apologized for how I treated you after the war.”

Germany looked over at him. “Wasn’t that also included in the apology a couple months ago?”

“I don’t know.” He shrugged. “I just thought I should apologize. I was just being a real asshole.”

Germany stared ahead. “There’s nothing to apologize for.”

America also looked ahead. “You and your friends… you guys forgive real easily.”

Germany glanced over.

“Japan forgave me almost immediately for the bombing… I mean, I hoped he would, of course. I just didn’t expect it. My boss made me.”

“I figured.”

“But Japan forgave me. Just like that.”

Germany grunted, looking ahead. “Life is too long to hold onto grudges.”

“Hmm.” America hummed. “You’re probably right.”

The two looked ahead, relishing the rest of the day.

Germany finally died on the fifth month. Not even halfway through the year. It was a blow to him. It made him wonder how little time he would eventually have between deaths. If it would get to the point where he would go a week or even a day until he would die. He wondered how much more painful it could be. He wondered how much more he could think of Italy. The man had been plaguing his thoughts nonstop. Even the things that once annoyed Germany seemed endearing to him in Italy’s absence. It tore into him in a way that he didn’t think was possible.

He hated it.

He loved it.

He wanted it to stop, yet begged for it to continue. Dreaded every thought, yet welcomed it with open arms. In his prison, his memories were one of his few freedoms. But, like a meal given in a prison, it was a bitter version of what it should be. But, like a meal, it kept him alive. Kept him going day, to day, to day, to day. From death to death, from year to year. Miserably, he would die. Stubbornly, he would come back. The sun rose. The grass grew. Many people also died, but none of them came back to life.

Life went on without Germany. And that too killed him.

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midnightsdarkangel · 5 years

Text

The Woes of Duality (6/?)

Summary: Patton always sees the good in everyone, even in someone such as Deceit. But while he slowly helps the dark sides to see the good in people, something else is changing, and not for the better

Notes: SLAM DUNKS IN. Im so sorry this took forever to update, especially with the cliffhanger i left off on chapter 5 wopes! The good news is chapter 7 is underway and being written so hopefully I wont leave you all waiting so long next time (i h o p e) The only warning this chapter is small mentions of body horror but very mild.

Now, on with the story~!

taglist: @hufflepuffgirl01 @septic-fallen @sanders-sides-rebloger@notveryglittery@quantumducky @warnadudenexttime @devil-towne fandomsofrandom @theultimatemomfriend @ nowedontliveinigloos @ avocados26 / pm if you wanna be tagged in this)

“Ow! Logan, I can't be sitting around here we need to- Gah!”

Virgil whined, struggling in Logan's grip. It was only a while ago that Logan and Roman had come into the living room with the curiosity of all the shouting and banging, only to panic at the sight of Virgil laying on the floor groaning in pain. He kept mumbling under his breath about Patton but had no energy to sit up as his arms would cave in under the weight of his body, bruises formed at his arms and neck. Roman was the first to rush into action; gently lifting Virgil up he carried him to the nearest sofa that wasn't damaged in the crossfire.

Logan bit his lip,trying to focus on helping Virgil, but he was getting frustrated with how much the anxious side was moving about. Every two seconds he would stand up ready to run away but with little to no strength completely forgetting that Logan was trying to help in the first place, yet it was fairly easy for Logan to tug him back down. Roman was sitting beside the two looking panicked; Virgil wasn't making any sense and they had no what happened to Patton or where he was. The only thing that was coherent from Virgil was that Patton was in deep trouble and something about shadows, but he was speaking too fast for them to try and decipher. His eyes moving around frantically in fear frustrated that they wouldn't let him go.

“Virgil please, I cannot tend to your wounds if you move around so frequently. Take a deep breath and then tell us what the matter is.”

Logan sternly commanded, grabbing his shoulders firmly and turning Virgil around to face him. Prompting him to breathe in and out with him in hopes that Virgil would calm down. It took a few turns before Virgil's shoulders finally slouched in defeat as he rubbed his eyes in exhaustion.

“Im sorry….I’m just so worried for Patton.” He mumbled in short breaths.

“You still have not told us what happened to him-ah! In full detail I mean Virgil, we could not make sense of your ramblings earlier on.”

Virgil huffed at that and crossed his arms, hissing in pain as Logan gently wrapped a bandage around his left arm. There were some scrapes as well that had bled a bit. Logan knew it was more effective to treat those as well, even if they were minor to the rest since he did not want Virgil to potentially get an infection. Virgil was silently watching Logan focus before speaking up as he sighed and took a deep breath;

“Ok so-”

But before Virgil could explain, the door to the living room was thrusted open with a force that startled the others into bracing themselves for action. Roman was already standing up, stumbling for balance as he grabbed his sword in defense. Logan had stood up immediately in front of Virgil for protection if it happened to be the shadows back again for more. Virgil had fallen off of the sofa in shock but quickly peered over the edge only to frown when he saw who bursted in.

“I mean harm!”

Deceit.

“No ok that sounded wrong-”

Roman had gasped in offense over Deceits declaration and was now posed with confidence to strike the dark side down. However Logan and Virgil knew very well Deceit was lying per the norm and had meant to say he meant no harm to the others, but with the timing and how he shouted it with such intensity really the situation almost comical if it weren't for pressing matters.

“Roman n- Roman he’s lying, put your sword away.”

Virgil grumbled rubbing his eyes as he stood up only to wobble slightly and have to grip to the edge of the sofa for support as he glared at Deceit. Roman was reluctant, but he did as he was told and withdrew his sword from the side,putting it back in its sheath. However he made sure to stroll straight over to Virgil and Logan, not trusting Deceit for a split second as he tapped his foot impatiently;

“Can someone PLEASE tell me what's going on here? Why is HE here?”

Virgil lifted a hand to Roman motioning to him to be quiet for a second as he took a deep breath; he looked to Deceit with a cautious glare but knew the other side at this point did care for Patton that if he was here alone, something bad happened. That meant telling the other two however….

“Patton's been...going to the darksiders mindscape for a while now, Patton wanted to get closer with Deceit so he went behind our backs. But because he was in there for too long, its started to mess with his mind and that's what caused him to lash out at me today.”

He flinched a bit at Romans sudden inhale of breath, even Logan did a double take at Virgil, looking now at him and Deceit skeptically.

“And where IS Patton now?”

That was Deceits turn to now speak up as they all looked to him expectantly. His body lowering in regret, feeling ashamed. Virgil however could pick up that Deceit had the same wounds he did, if not maybe worse from how he wobbled sometimes in one spot. That put a pit in Virgil's stomach, Patton must’ve lost it again….

“He wasn't taken by the beast that dwells below the mindscapes floors. I didn't fight back, There was no point...”

Suddenly he saw the anxious side dart over to him grabbing him by the shoulders, ignoring his own injuries and looked up at Deceit with a frantic look that mirrored how he felt inside as he gulped silently watching the panic rise in Virgil's form; “N-No, you’re lying right now...No No- when was this!? We have to get him out of there right now!”

Logan noticed Virgil's breathing pick up significantly as he quickly came up to the two of them, placing a hand on Virgil's that gripped Deceits cloak ferociously shaking it in his grip. When Virgil let go he dropped to one knee feeling sick with fear and dread. His mind was clouding with panic as he grabbed the fabric against his chest rising up and down quicker and quicker.

Deceit looked helpless not knowing how to help him as he stood in fear of making things worse. Logan was already going down to Virgil’s side and took his hands in his and started follow the step by step breathing process. Mumbling to him he was doing a good job as Virgil whimpered feeling the tears fall pour down his face onto his lap.

When he felt Virgil could contain a consistent breathing pattern he looked up to Deceit;

“You’re going to have to explain to us what this means, I am afraid Virgil keeps the dark side hidden for rather good reasons due to his own experiences. What is the repercussions of this supposed beast taking Patton?”

Deceit shakingly nodded, glad that Logan was not shouting at him or looking at him like it was his fault. He couldn't say the same for Roman, however, as he could see the taller side slowly come up to Virgil lowering himself down to hug him from behind to keep him distracted by stroking his hair softly, yet he kept his gaze at Deceit wearily wanting to know as much as Logan what this meant for Patton.

Squeezing his hands tightly and releasing to let go some of the tension he tried his best to explain this the best way he could, he had left one of his snakes back in his room and the other was currently with Patton so he sadly couldn't speak without telling lies but he would have to try his best.

“Our mindscape works the same as yours, the place where all of Thomas’s deepest and repressed emotions go. Because there isn't so much negative energy festered in that realm, it became alive. A terrifying creature was created, below the grounds of the dark realm where a deeper level lies that no side can go in unless they don't want to lose their very minds. Anyone whose dragged under there will immediately be changed to fit the world and will be trapped there forever. The very walls breathe and you’re always being watched by the very beast that roams the lower parts of the realm where there is sense of reason and rhyme.”

He swallowed nervously letting that first sink in watching the two other sides look almost disturbed and frightened by these news;

“Wait a moment, the dark side’s mindscape is a living breathing monster?!”

Roman looked up, a sudden fear now washing over him at the very thought but he looked down to see Virgil tug at Logan and Roman. He had calmed down a bit but his body was still shaking;

“He’s right... There's two levels to that world. T-The one above is where Deceit and the other sides reside, but below is nothing but a dark sea of corruption and repressed memories that Thomas wanted to lock up forever. If Patton's been dragged down there, he’s at the core of all of it, they won't let him go...not until they’ve changed him completely.” His knuckles whitened at how hard he had his hands clenched against Logan’s; “That's what the realm does, it hunts on prey that enters its realm that doesn't belong there...it will follow you, corrupt you ever so slowly until your ready to be dragged down...I didn't tell any of you because there was always a fear that you guys might’ve went in there in hopes to stop that thing….But Patton he-”

“He didn't go in there for me.”

Deceit continued looking weary and tired. His heart aching over how he could let this happen, the ghost of Patton's lingering touch still haunted him. How his hands felt so perfect in place with Deceits. The shadow of a faint warmth on his lips from when the two kissed. God he loved Patton, he missed him so much that he didn't care that he ran straight to the light sides realm in hopes they would save Patton. Just thinking of how alone Patton was right now with those monsters tugged his heart painfully.

No side before had been corrupted, or well not when Deceit first opened his eyes to this realm. The dark sides were different, when one would be created they just laid, soaking wet on the glass floor as if they submerged from the very waters themselves, they would know in that moment exactly what their role was and where to go. For awhile they would not have a corporal body, Deceit remembered when he woke up to see he was indistinguishable apart from the scales that littered his face. And yet that felt completely normal to him. Until the day Thomas’s learnt of his existence did he start to slowly see his real body, the cloak that wrapped around his body, his hair that tufted above his face, he suddenly had an identity he was not aware he even had…

Not all the sides however were as lucky as he was; he had learnt rather fast after that point that no one could see their true forms until they were brought into the ‘light’. How poetic. Yet...A light side to turn into a darkside was still something he had not witnessed, but the implications unnerved him deeply. Shaking his head he looked to them urgently;

“Please...I don't want you guys to come with me.”

Roman made a noise of hesitation but saw that Virgil was already standing up trying to compose himself along with Logan who thought for a moment but nodded; “If Patton truly is in the core of all those negative feelings, there's no doubt this is also the cause of Thomas’s destructive tendencies, and if this was to carry on, there's no doubt we’ll be putting the whole system in danger.”

With a nod from the three of them, eager to go into the darkside. They all looked to Roman who looked flustered by the whole situation but took a deep breath and adopted his heroic persona.

“Well. What are we waiting for? Lead the way.”

Drip….

Drip…

“Mmn…?”

Patton mumbled opening his eyes, everything felt...heavy around him. His face was pressed against the floor as he could barely feel the energy to sit up. Still drifting in and out of consciousness,Patton slowly tilted his head around to see where on earth he was. He remembered the shadows taking him and everything becoming a blur when that monster grabbed him-

Oh god he was taken.

Patton tried to sit up but felt his body fight against his struggles as he fell back down on the floor with a small splash. Staring at the ceiling he could see he was in a small room covered in the same black substance the shadows inherited, it was running from the ceiling pouring down like a waterfall, and yet it would never flood the place. His body was drenched in the inky matter however, the back of his head washed in it as he couldn't help but feel….calm.

Like maybe this was not bad…

He fell asleep once more…

….

The second time he woke up,he noticed he was no longer on the floor but rather was now in a rather large cushioned throne. A long table stretched out in front of him with chairs such as his own, all of them had name tags engraved on the top of each of them. From a quick glance, he noticed these were the names of all the dark-siders that dwelled in this mindscape. However they did not sit there, the shadows of monsters did, each looking right at Patton. Some had eyes that completely covered their entire bodies, blinking in unison; some only had mouths that grinned with delight. Some were covered completely in darkness with no distinguishable traits.

“Hello Patton.”

“We’re so glad you’re awake!”

They exclaimed happily, their voices all overlapped each others in a collective hive-mind that it was difficult to pinpoint which was speaking to him individually. Patton grumbled rubbing his eyes tiredly wearily looking at them;

“Whats...going on…?”

They all started to chuckle to themselves.

“You’re finally here, In the depths of the darkscape.”

“Your new home.”

“Anything you want can happen here Patton, as long as you stay here forever with us.”

“All you gotta do is think of it and it’ll happen!”

“Ummm ok….I guess I’d like a blanket really, it's rather cold in here-”

Before he could finish his sentence the inky substance formed in his lap taking on the shape of the blanket he had wished for; it felt warm to touch and was incredibly soft and Patton couldn't help but beam with a new found excitement as he quickly looked at the table. It was awfully empty, that couldn't do…With a concentrated thought, he managed to summon a table cloth that was colourful and patterned with spots to cover the table, on top was plates of sweets and cakes that he had enjoyed himself.

“Wow! This is amazing!”

The shadows looked content with Patton's joy;

“In your room whatever you want can happen, and we will be here if you ever need us.”

Patton hadn't really paid any attention as he hopped up from the chair and traced his hand on the table grabbing some sweets humming to himself as he took a bite melting with delight over how good they were. He wasn't even sure what he was so upset about earlier, this room was perfect! Heck he couldn't even remember anything outside of this place… However, when he happily walked around inspecting the room, he looked back to his chair with a frown; on the top of the chair was the name ‘morality’. With a small thought he was able to get the name scratched out as he clapped his hands together with a satisfied grin. There was no need for that title anymore, not here anyway.

Heck, he was bored with what he was wearing as well! With a snap of his fingers the shadows pooled around his feet and started to cover him as he closed his eyes content letting himself be changed by the darkness.

It was time for a change.

Deceit had managed to lead the others safely through the dark realm to the same hallway Patton had been taken away. Virgil was walking beside Deceit keeping up with his pace, feeling himself almost rush with impatience; Logan was just behind,keeping close to them looking around the area feeling a air of unease just from being there… And Roman lingered behind as protection if anyone decided to catch them from behind, his sword was ready and drawn, marching onwards making sure to keep an eye of everything around him expect for what was behind him. The rule was that everyone had to cling onto each other with Deceit as the lead- that way if one of them did turn backwards, they wouldn't be teleported back to the start and ultimately get lost from the others.

Roman faltered a bit and looked at Virgil and Deceit; “When you say Patton’s changed...how drastic are we talking here, if we find him will he even want to come back with us?” He asked feeling bad for feeling them both look suddenly ashamed and tense, but he just couldn't...wrap his head around the idea that Patton, the softest of all of them, was influenced by the darkscape. Heck, when Patton had told the others he didn't care about Thomas’s situation so casually as if there was nothing wrong had made him feel sick to the core. It was wrong...He was certain as well from the glances at Logan that he also felt unsettled and worried. They all wanted to get Patton back as soon as possible, but there was this underlying fear that Patton might turn around and say he liked this place better due to his mind being corrupted. What if they were too late and Patton never saw them with the same kindness and love he used to radiate- No...It didn't matter, he just wanted his friend back. It was clear that the others felt the way as Deceit clenched his fist tightly with a strong resolve in his eyes looking forward;

“When we find him, he’ll be completely the same and will most likely come willingly with us...but we don’t need to try. For Patton. He wouldn't do the same for any of us…..or me.” He muttered that last part under his breath but it made Romans’ view on the dark side soften considerably that Patton had managed to touch his heart like he did with the other. Deceit was right as well, Patton would drop everything despite the risks for any of them without question, he loved them all unconditionally that thinking of a life without him by their side felt….empty.

“Patton is strong, I know that no matter what hardships we might face down there, we will do it together and bring him back safe and sound.”

Logan spoke up now, he had kept silent throughout the conversation but the way his eyes lit up with a form of hope, knowing that he also had a deep appreciation and respect for the moral side was comforting for everyone to know they were on the same page. Virgil couldn't help but feel himself relax and smile softly at the others with a fond appreciation. If he had gone on his own he didn’t think he’d stand much of a chance to save Patton but with everyone here….

He felt like they could do anything.

It took them awhile till they finally arrived Deceit as made a small ‘ah’ noise as he crossed his arms puzzled.

“What's wrong?”

Virgil asked looking around confused as Deceit pointed at the floor in front of him. “That wasn't broken the last time I was here.”

The gaping hole that Deceit had managed to jump across when coming to find the others was nothing more now but a memory, there was no shattered glass anywhere and the floor was once again back in the state it once was before the whole mess. Walking over to the floor he gave it a small kick wondering if the floor might have still been fragile enough to break, however after a few thuds it was looking as if it would take a lot more than that to get through…

It wasn't long to notice what Deceit was trying to do as he nodded and walked over starting to kick the floor as well as hard as he could. Honestly it looked stupid what the two were doing as Roman and Logan looked to each other confused;

“Um...Virgil, why are you and Deceit banging on the floor like that?”

“This….Is…..Where….Patton...is…! We...Need...to...Break...The….Goddamn...Floor!”

Virgil grunted with each kick.

Roman, understanding what must be done rolled his sleeves up and tried to punch the floor as strong as he could, the floor vibrating a tiny bit upon the pressure but nothing that as noteworthy as a crack appeared. So the three of them tried to sync their attempts together, the water under the floor splashed and shook at the vibrations. Logan was worried that their attempts might’ve been attracting unwanted behavior as he kept seeing things swim from underneath them, their shadows passing fast yet would circle around where they kept banging.

“Wait. I don't have an idea.”

Deceit sprinted ahead to his room.

When he came back Virgil looked bemused and slightly impressed at what Deceit was dragging behind him.

“Dude, where did you get that sledgehammer from?”

“I don’t keep weapons in my room as a precaution.”

He grunted as he lifted the hammer up and started to slam it against the floor which vibrated the ground underneath them, this of course wasn't going by unnoticed as some of the shadows started to peer from the walls, their heads sticking out in curiosity. Roman was more than ready to attack them but...they just stared, if anything some of them looked amused? Deceit and Virgil weren't paying attention to them however as they kept banging away at the floor, a small crack appearing as it seemed to be working.

Roman was just staring at one of the shadows that had only eyes apparent on their body as they just stared back with a small glint in their eyes;

“Will you be joining us soon Roman?”

“Stop that. I doubt you’d find much use for him anyway.”

A voice came from behind him as Roman yelped in alarm not expecting someone else to actually show up as he pointed his sword up at the stranger. However with the blade pointed firmly at the intruders next, they merely sighed and looked offended at such an action as they pressed their finger on the top of the blade and gently lifting it down. “I'm here to see what the commotion is, let's not get into a fight shall we?”

Logan had taken interest as well as he quickly tugged Deceit who looked up in caution and was already lifting his sledgehammer ready to swing it full force at whoever it was, but the moment he had lifted it in the air, the figure had already withdrawn their own sword from the inky abyss of their body towards the hammer. Deceit’s breath hitched as he got a good look at the figure before them as he sighed and lowered the hammer;

“What do you want Pride? We’re not busy.”

“Clearly. Banging on the floor with a hammer and your fists is certainly something that wouldn't draw anyone's attention at this point, I would be saying could you knock it off but i'm aware of Patton's situation.”

Pride muttered in distaste at the thought; “To think, the leviathan itself would take Patton itself, Morality certainly is an interesting one.”

“I don't mean to interrupt this chat…”

Logan coughed ,getting the attention of both dark sides.They turned to the intellectual side who was looking rather skeptical and confused towards Pride. “Deceit how do you know this is another side, they look exactly the same as the other shadows in this realm.”

Pride fake gasped holding a hand to their chest; “Now, that's not how to treat an ally, now is it Logic?”

Virgil huffed, still kicking at the ground to make the gap bigger.

“Logan, whatever Thomas sees, we see. Because Deceit appeared in front of Thomas, he adopted an appearance. Pride technically can see themself in a reflection and for them they’re perfectly normal, but because Thomas hasn't discovered them yet, they have to take the form of one of the shadows here.”

Pride nodded but crossed their arms in a bit of a huff; “Yes but don't be mistaken, the shadows here are not their own separate identities, they are all a collective hive mind of the dark realms subconsciousness. I’d rather die than be associated to those parasites.”

It was...quite a lot for one day Logan had to admit with all the information but it made sense, the shadows that surrounded them all seemed to move in unison, even if some had different features to their inky vessels. No doubt it was the mindscapes way of monitoring what was happening. It was unnerving however to see it so complacent with their attempts to break in...maybe it was all just a game to them, or something more sinister….

CRACK…

The floor began to splinter and crack as Pride hummed taking a step back. “Do get Patton back will you? Someone has to clean that kitchen up for me.” They waved nonchalantly as Roman looked up at them skeptically, something was really rubbing him off about them…Pride had noticed Romans disdain and couldn't help but hum in amusement as he gave Roman a thumbs up;

“I’ll be seeing you soon Roman. By the way, nice sword, too bad its not as good as mine”

“Ok now see here you little sh-”

SMASH

The floor broke way beneath them as they all fell into the deep depths of the water, their senses submerged completely as the reflection of Pride waving at them from above was soon a blurr leaving them in total darkness.

#Sanders sides #mociet #sympathetic deceit #ts deceit #deceit sanders #ts patton #patton sanders #ts virgil #virgil sanders #ts logan #logan sanders #ts roman #roman sanders #ts pride #fanfiction #i will finish this story trust me #its my g oal #i think as well i know how many chapters are left #i have so much fun with though you have no clue like writing the mindscapes lore is so much fun

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