#literally all of the bottom 10 are 4/5/6 episodes!!

[clarkgriffon]

The Best of the Best: IMDB’s 10 Best Ranked Episodes of Gossip Girl 

#gossipgirledit #gossip girl #ggedit #gg #creations #blair waldorf #chuck bass #serena van der woodsen #nate archibald #jenny humphrey #dan humphrey #chair #blair x serena #look about the chuck/chair prevalence i am but a messenger for the IMDB rating #o brother where bart thou is very good tho #also putting the finale at no. 1 and by THAT large of a margin? it's a joke #literally all of the bottom 10 are 4/5/6 episodes!! #because the later seasons are BAD #but somehow finale no 1. okay sis. #anyway serena's hair graduation tassel u were robbed of ur no. 1 placement #top10bottom10

[yourfavoritehouseplant]

I watched James Somerton's final video, and all I got was this 6 page document

As soon as I learned his final unreleased video was on Revolutionary Girl Utena, I knew I had to hate watch it. I didn't know that I'd spend the following 4 hours making a comprehensive doc on everything I hated about it. But here we are.

The TLDR (is this too long to be a TLDR?)

The intro section, as well as Part 2, are directly plagiarized from wikipedia. The rest is unclear.

He makes a “haha this show is so weird right guys” joke 10 different times

He reads Anthy as so emotionally stunted she literally has to be taught how to think for herself, and believes that being the rose bride makes her feel good

He says that his reading is ‘vastly different” from the rest of the community, before boldly stating that this is because he sees it as a “deeply allegorical and symbolic story”

He sees the sexual abuse as “not to be taken literally”

Insists that the show be separated into parts that are strictly literal and strictly allegorical for the entirety of parts 3 and 4, before making the contradictory move of analyzing characters as allegories during part 5

The only characters that get dedicated sections are Akio and Dios, who he doesn’t believe are the same person. 

He says Dios gets his powers by “deflowering women”

He calls Akio, known child predator, a chaotic bisexual

Uses 14 year old SA survivor Anthy’s passive personality to make a joke about her being a bottom

His final point is that Utena was the real prince all along

There are no citations

Anyway, full version for people who hate themselves under the cut. With time codes, because I cite my sources.

Part 1: Intro

This entire section is almost exclusively quoted from the Wikipedia article for Revolutionary Girl Utena. Words have been changed, but the order at which certain topics come up is not. Highlights include:

0:56 In his introduction of Be-Papas, lists the founding members in literally the exact same order as Wikipedia.

1:40-2:00 His list of Be-Papas previous works is lifted entirely from wikipedia, only with the words changed. This leads to a strange moment at 1:52 where he claims Be-papas ‘lent their talents to’ Neon Genesis Evangelion, a show which started production at least a year before Be-papas was founded. On the wikipedia article for Utena, this is instead referring to the previous work of Shinya Hasegawa and Yōji Enokido

4:23 he uses a quote by Yūichirō Oguro describing the production as a “tug of war”. He seems to have lifted this in its entirety from Wikipedia, as he does not cite the actual source it is from (the box set companion book, btw)

As for James Somerton originals, at 0:44 he claims that out of all magical girl series,”none to my knowledge have been more discussed and dissected than the 1997 series Revolutionary Girl Utena” He will go back on this at 5:05, where he states that “Sailor Moon takes the lion’s share of discussion” in regard to influential magical girl anime

Part 2: Part 1

(At least I know I’m not funny, unlike James Somerton)

Speaking of which. Here is every single time he makes a “wow this show is sooooo weird you guys” joke: 6:00, 8:50, 10:40, 10:58, 13:46, 17:07, 24:16, 30:34, 41:19, 48:01

Here’s every time the punchline to the joke is the existence of Nanami, a character who he otherwise completely disregards: 10:56, 12:05, 16:22, 42:40

6:16 Claims that the “Apocalypse saga” and “Akio Ohtori saga’ are two names for the same several episodes, depending on the release. This is untrue. Instead, different releases either only have the Apocalypse saga, or split the episodes into an Akio Ohtori saga and then the Apocalypse saga. 

7:58 Claims Utena intervening on Anthy’s behalf begins the first duel. While this happens in the movie, Touga intervenes in the scene he uses clips from (like literally right after the shot he uses in the video). Utena only gets drawn into the duels when Wakaba’s love note to Saionji is posted. Youtuber Noralities’ Utena video also gets this wrong, which makes me wonder if this was copied.

9:09 Claims Akio’s “End of the World” moniker is actually more closely translated to “Apocalypse”. In reality, the translation moves away from a more apocalyptic reading, with 世界の果て (Sekai no hate) apparently translating closer to “the furthest reach of a known world” or “edge of the world”. (Love the implications of this translation, but I digress)

9:10 As can be assumed from the previous point, this means I can’t find any sources that point to them not using the title “apocalypse” for religious reasons

10:10 Uses Anthy’s extreme passivity under her Rose bride persona to make a top/bottom joke. I’m gonna repeat this in case you’re just skimming. He uses a trait that likely stems from years of abuse, (possibly exaggerated by the persona Anthy uses to manipulate people), and uses it to call her a bottom. 

He also just doesn’t seem to understand how the whole point of Utena constantly telling Anthy that she's just a normal girl who should make more friends is framed as Utena imposing her will on Anthy, just as much as the previous Engaged have done. 

11:54 Apologies in advance for my most “um, actually!” point yet, but technically his statement that Anthy stops being host to the Sword of Dios is wrong. Akio literally pulls a sword out of her chest in the final duel. It's a more evil-looking sword of Dios, granted.

13:02 !!! CANTARELLA SCENE ALERT !!! He interprets it as them fighting over Akio?? Which like. I will allow people to have their own interpretations of vague and symbolic scenes. I will. I swear. This is not technically incorrect. It just makes me want to eat my own intestines.

14:44 Bad Anthy take #1: He states Anthy “is emotionally stunted to the point where she needs people to make decisions for her because she does not know how to think for herself” This ignores several moments of Anthy clearly making her own choices throughout the show, including the suicide attempt Somerton mentions about a minute prior. This also strips Anthy of what little agency she has throughout the story, usually exerted through messing with Utena or Nanami. (The fact that she repeatedly makes choices that contribute to her own abuse is, in my opinion, one of the most interesting parts of her character, and it's a shame that Summerton’s ‘reading’ of the story completely disregards that)

Additionally, he once again reads Utena ‘urging Anthy to think for herself” in the first arc as an unambiguously good move, and not as something critiqued in the show.

14:52 Summerton reads the Swords of hatred as symbolizing men’s hatred specifically. Again, I’m trying not to completely disregard differing interpretations to a show like Utena, but this feels very simplistic, especially considering the harm we see aimed towards Anthy by other women

16:42 Here he claims that his reading of the story seems to be “vastly different” from the bulk of Utena discourse. What is this reading? That the show shouldn’t be read literally. Or, in his words, “[we can interpret] Revolutionary Girl Utena as a deeply allegorical and symbolic story about the struggles of coming of age amidst widespread institutional corruption in a high school and which describes a passive culture of inaction in regard to brazen instances of domestic exploitation in which there is not only a question about the caporeality of the events transpiring but also which events can be taken for granted and which events are meant to signify abstract sociological institutions.” The idea that he believes this is in any way a new reading of the material honestly baffles me.

Part 3: Part 2

17:48 through 18:50 differently quotes the Wikipedia article for postmodernism. He even makes a joke at 17:55 about Wikipedia. Please kill me. 

The first three themes he lists at 19:11 are just the three main themes listed on the Revolutionary Girl Utena Wikipedia page. What was that about a “vastly different” reading, James?

You’re gonna have to take my word for it, but this section is so short because it's just him talking about the various ways the story can’t be taken literally. He does, ironically, call this a hot take.

Part 4: Part 3

Here’s where the reading falls apart folks

At 23:15, he states that some things in Utena are allegorically coded, while others are to be taken literally. This is true. However, he seems to take this to mean that some parts of the show are Strictly Literal, while others are Strictly Allegorical for things going on in the Literal World. 

This is apparently why he prefers the Anime to the Movie, where there basically is no separation between the Literal and Allegorical

This take is bizarre to me for several reasons, but here is my favorite. At several points, he mentions how Revolutionary Girl Utena is a work of Magical Realism. Magical Realism is literally defined by its blending of the “literal” and “allegorical”, the mix of fantastical elements in a mundane, realistic setting. This idea of the impossibility of a blurred line, that Utena must either have lore where the magic is all real and means nothing, or dedicated allegory segments quarantined from the rest of the story, is contrary to the very idea of Magical Realism.

I can’t help but wonder if Somerton took his mentions of Magical realism from a previous work, due to how little it is consistent with his final argument. Either way, this section suggests a great lack of creativity in his analysis, a shame for such a creative work.

24:36: Shiori slander, for those who care

After this he gets really worked up about people assuming symbolism in everything, even when the author ‘doesn’t make it clear something is symbolic’. He shuts down a reading of a shot in the Lord of the Rings. Miley Cyrus is there? Very The Curtains Were Blue of him. 

28:22 Claims that Wakaba is the key to telling where the Strictly Literal segments end and the Strictly Allegorical segments begin. He states that, under this lens, deeply personal moments of character suffering such as all of the sexual abuse and Anthy’s suicide attempt (which he literally cites) should be read as symbolic and be “approached with uncertainty rather than confusion”. (28:24-29:13)

This also somewhat falls apart when you consider Wakaba is the jeep in the movie's car chase

And then he rants about people not liking his Attack on Titan video for a bit. Since its potential symbolism also doesn't follow hard enough rules to be symbolism. Once again, the separation of “fact vs allegory” I haven’t watched AOT, so that's all I’ll say.

Part 5: Part 4

Thank god this part is short. Much like Dios’ on-screen presence.

32:55 Makes the extremely bold claim that Dios is not Akio. As in, never even became Akio. because Dios is Strictly Allegorical.

Just to be a pedant, this is pretty explicitly disproven in the show

Confusingly, both earlier and later he will address these two as the same character. 

33:04 he also explains the root of Akio’s name in a tone that suggests this is supplemental information and not like. Literally something he explains out loud in the show?

Part 6: Part 5

This section is nearly entirely about Akio Ohtori. I would like to note that him and Dios are the only characters with dedicated segments.

38:30 The part where he states that Dios gets his powers from deflowering women.

38:46 Claims, once again, that Akio’s abuse of Anthy “may not be literal”. 

38:59 “the instance of exploitation here is used because assault has deep roots as indicating that akio's gender is the source of his imbalance”  THE ASSAULT IS ABOUT AKIO NOW???

39:45 Bad Anthy take #2: “Anthy’s conformity to the Rose bride is based around the fact that she feels good being subservient because this is the only thing in her life that has ever brought her any kind of positive reward”. This is a direct quote. Anyway, I can’t think of any instances in the show where Anthy’s subservience gives her a positive reward, except maybe when she’s intentionally using it to manipulate others. As for her feeling good being the rose bride. She tries to commit suicide. Dude.

Side tangent, but isn’t this exactly what Akio says during the final 2 episodes? That Anthy enjoys being a witch? Is the main villain, who consistently says things during that very episode that are blatantly false, our source of information for this take? I guess so, since this is the dedicated Akio section.

At 40:20 he decides to introduce the concept of Anthy, Akio, and Utena as stand-ins for wider concepts, which is antithetical to his approach in analysis beforehand

Part 7: Part 6

42:40 he finally acknowledges that he’s been spending too much time talking about Akio, and literally no time on characters like Nanami

46:10 states that Utena’s exclusive motivation “is to protect Anthy from the predatorial intentions of the other dualists”, which disregards the fact, which she states herself, that she was largely participating in the duels and protecting Anthy to feel like a prince

48:04 The part where he says that Akio has ‘chaotic Bi vibes’ in regards to him sleeping with Touga, who is 17 and implied to be a long-term victim

Part 8: Part 7

54:01: His concluding point is that Utena was the real prince all along. 

In true Somerton fashion, the video then ends over a scrolling wall of patrons, with not a single citation in sight.

#the autism won again you guys #revolutionary girl utena #james somerton #shoujo kakumei utena #utena #anthy #hbomberguy

[vasquez-rocks]

in the spirit of "o'brien doesn't actually suffer the most, it's just that all his suffering takes place in special Suffering Episodes": a complete ranking of ds9 characters by how much they suffer

(including recurring guest stars but not villains. i don't care how much gul dukat suffers. he could get hit by a fucking bus for all i care!!) 1. kira nerys. undefeated galactic suffering champion. literally goes back in time to find out if her mom died in a concentration camp when she was a small child like she thought and somehow the answer she gets is, to her, EVEN WORSE THAN THAT. o'brien could never.

2. odo. lab experiment childhood, spends 5 seasons pining tragically for the station’s most eligible terrorist, seeks his family only to find out they're genocidal maniacs, every small innocent being he tries to parent either dies or runs away, he has to return to said family to end a war! odo suffers so much actually??

3. benjamin sisko. loses his wife, becomes an unwilling messiah, forced to leave his family (the most important thing), etc.

4. miles o'brien. ok fine sure he does suffer a lot. not like kira does tho!!

5. garak. most of his suffering is pre-show but that suffering is BAROQUE. and then daddy never tells him he loves him and he indirectly causes his mother’s death

6. nog. after 6 seasons of minimal suffering, our baby boy suffers a LOT

7. jake sisko. not counting "the visitor" (it was a different timeline!). if the show put Jake through any additional suffering, i would wail and cry. His primary sufferings are pre-show (mom's death) and end-of-show (dad is gone and can't say when he'll return), but they are significant. at least he has, and loves, a wonderful stepmom!

8. kassidy yates. SPEAKING OF. her primary suffering is going to jail for the standard federation prison sentence (6 months, which is also what garak got for attempted genocide!!!!!), but then also losing her beloved husband to the celestial temple like almost immediately after, which is kind of a lot

9. keiko o'brien. a lot of miles’ suffering is hers also, and also she gets possessed by a demon after spending the first few seasons trying to find a new fulfilling job despite her husband moving her, a botanist, to a barren space station on which all life withers

10. jadzia dax. happy-go-lucky sex worm who has never experienced a "problem" until gul dukat throws a death basketball at her at age 35, so idk it evens out

11. julian bashir. gets kidnapped a lot and has a backstory so angsty that it's hard to tell whether he's even technically the same person he once was. HOWEVER, he's a goofy lil sexual harasser which makes it very easy to overlook his suffering!

12. worf. virtually all of his suffering is his own fault and he universally responds to it by creating more suffering for his own perverse ends. however, he does get disgraced from his people (his fault), lose his wife (not his fault but also why was she the only person left on the station when she literally FLIES THE SHIP most of the time??), and refuses to ever have fun (his fault)

13. leeta. perky and happy. in a great marriage. loves her stepson! unionized her workplace! however she is not at the bottom of this list because she is (a) a child of the occupation and (b) has to put up with fuckin quark

14. ezri dax. contrary to her frequently expressed beliefs, many things are easy for ezri

15. quark. when he suffers it's hijinks

16. rom. rom's character development is entirely positive. he goes from being the put upon idiot brother to the self-actualized leader of his people who has a son who loves him and a beautiful wife. the worst thing that happens to him specifically is probably when he masturbates so hard he almost dies and even then the result is he becomes a hero to labor in both his world and ours. things go ludicrously well for him at every turn. he is the winner of ds9

#ds9 #deep space nine #star trek #jadzia dax #kira nerys #benjamin sisko #odo #ezri dax #julian bashir #worf #miles o'brien #suffering #the human condition #also bajoran condition i guess #rom #nog #quark

[fantasy-mixtapes]

Riz Gukgak Junior Year Playlist: side A

Heres the first side of the Junior Year Riz Playlist and the explanations down below, Spoilers for Episodes 1-10 in FHJY

Genres: Alternative, Anti Folk, Math Rock, Punk

1. Photosynthesis, They Might Be Giants

Photosynthesis does not involve a camera Or a synthesizer Although that's interesting, too Photosynthesis is how plants take in light From the sun and turn it into energy It's actually a thing on which most life depends Here on the planet Earth

GOD so when I'm not making these playlists I'm and environmental educator and when Brian was like "we're the photosythe-KIDS!" i nearly lost it. Gotta let this little nerdy kid have at least one nerd song as a treat to me

2. Dissonance, AJJ

My feet planted in different realities I've been doing lots of parallel planning and asking Does morals exist anymore? Wondering if society's all broken down yet I should probably know I should probably know I should probably grow some more plants in the window I should probably try I should probably try I should probably try to find a cure for this dissonance

One of the things I relate to Riz about the most is the way in which he is so hungry for explanation and, specifically problem solving. When they get dropped right back into normal teen life after having just saved the world and "cracked the case", Riz had to really switch into school mode fast (with the whole paying for college thing)

3. Stress, Jim's Big Ego

I'm addicted to stress That's the way that I get things done If I'm not under pressure then I sleep too long And I hang around like a bum I think I'm going nowhere, and that makes me nervous Everybody's out to get me, but I feel all right

Obsessed with the way that, if Brennan didn't let Riz take on the stress of other people in the party, he would literally be so normal about the downtime system. God help him and his nervous system.

4. Travelers Insurance, Their/They're/There

After all that we've done, You still skipped out on the beat of a different drum. Blurring the lines between failure and fortune

it's getting at Riz supporting so many people in his party, taking on their stress, organizing their extracurriculars, and literally tutoring them on subjects he doesn't know about. And they're definitely trying to keep everything under control, but sometimes it feels like when they mess up or make bad choices, it's Riz who has to take the L

5. Pitch Black, Heart Attack Man

Rock bottom smile bares its rotting teeth again Acts like there's nothing wrong and they're still my closest friend Romanticize the fondest memories and good times And hope that I forget the rest Rock bottom's grinning as it's creeping up again Dust off the depths and make me wish that I was dead again Hold out your hand to me Take me to a place in hell where Having self-esteem seems selfish and unhealthy

God the way that in Ep. 10 after Riz had that talk with his mom about everything he was just so despondent the rest of the episode about everything that was happening, and actually thinking about the toll his friendships were taking on him 💀

6. An Antidote for Strychnine, The Mountain Goats

Dig down amongst my calculations Check my maps Up there on the surface Everybody's gettin' ready for the bloodbath Stem the tide, stem the tide They're calling down for reinforcements Tryin' to find An antidote for strychnine Tryin' to find An antidote for strychnine

This has always and forever been such a Riz song for me and I feel like it really fits the tone of Riz looking into the soil, into lucy's death, into eventually the loam farm, reluctantly telling his mom about it. The moment when he thinks that something like what happened to Yolanda could happen to his mother and he gets really serious about it. AHHHHHH Something something isolation, something something taking on dangerous tasks by yourself just to protect the ones you love

#dimension 20 #fantasy high #fantasy high junior year #d20 #d20 fhsy #fantasy mixtapes #riz the ball gukgak #riz gukgak #brian murphy #fhjy spoilers #d20 spoilers #fantasy high spoilers #Spotify

[kneesheee]

50 Things to Know about the Disney-verse

1. Ursula and Maleficent are rivals so Uma and Mal being rivals also tracks.

2. The Evil Queen and Maleficent are rivals for Hades' affections and for the status of "The Evilest of Them All'.

3. The Evil Queen claims not to be Hades' girlfriend, but they just had "an interesting weekend" on Castaway Cay. And therefore, I headcanon that she is Hadie’s mom. Probably conceived sometime around Evie’s banishment.

4. In the Disney Villains: Top Secret Files, Maleficent is featured in her own section. According to the pieces of information provided, Maleficent's last name is Faery.

5. She was actually invited to Aurora's birth ceremony and that the invitation simply never got to her castle because she burnt the postman to death (believing him to be a trespasser) before he could deliver it.

6. Her dragon form also appeared in The Little Mermaid series episode "Heroes" as a sea dragon.

7. Captain Hook tried to charm her, only to be zapped away leaving behind his hook. Jafar also tried to woo her while they sat together, only to end up being literally burnt.

8. It was revealed in "A Christmas Cruella" that she did want a puppy before becoming her villainous self.

9. Cruella has a brother named Cecil and a niece named Ivy. However, Cecil is not Ivy's father, meaning that Cruella and Cecil must have another sibling (most likely a brother) who is Ivy's parent.

10. In 102 Dalmatians: Puppies to the Rescue, Cruella has set up a toy factory next to DeVil Manor. She seems to have tried online dating, where she has supposedly wed herself to Professor Farzboom, a meek professor who helps her make her toys. So there’s Carlos’ dad.

11. In "Max's Embarrassing Date", she went on a date with the Beast and asked if he came in a medium, which the Beast became annoyed of. After the Beast gets soaked with soup he was eating, Cruella is unhappy as she would have to get him dry-cleaned.

12. Walt Disney's early vision for The Rescuers revolved around the kidnapping of a polar bear from a city zoo; writers considered reusing Cruella as the main antagonist (presumably driven by her desire for the bear's fur).

13. The concept art of the film shows Cruella wearing an outfit made out of crocodile leather. Because The Rescuers was set more than a decade after 101 Dalmatians, Cruella was given a period-appropriate update. Aside from her '70s alligator-chic outfit, Cruella is accessorized with Sly and the Family Stone-style sunglasses. In other sketches, De Vil is depicted in bell-bottom pants and a pair of platforms. Other concept art showed Cruella driving a water vehicle similar to the one Medusa uses in the final film.

14. The Prince is usually known as Prince Charming, though some source material shows that his name is Henri, or Henry. However, he was never referred to by name anywhere in the film. Not even mentioned as "Prince Charming".

15. The story takes place roughly in June. In the movie, the sun rises slightly before 6:00 AM (in France), as it would within a few weeks of the summer solstice. Also, by this time, a pumpkin would have grown to 20–40 pounds.

16. The debate of the setting of Cinderella has always been a problem, but most people can agree it is French; however, there is a small amount of people who think it is Spanish because the female names end in "A" but that does not really cut it so deeper research shows that the thing on Anastasia's head is a peineta or headdress used in Spain along with formal attire also the French furnishings and the Spanish furnishings within the same time period are very similar in style.

17. Cinderella is the “oldest” princess in the official franchise being 19 while Snow White is the youngest being 14. Also, Snow White’s prince was suppose to be 18 according to Disney’s records.

18. In the third movie, Cinderella’s shoe size is mentioned to be a size 4½ in women's. According to Disney's Villains' Revenge, Snow White has smaller feet than Cinderella.

19. Cinderella was actually rich at the beginning, even before she married the prince. This was exempted, however, as she was forced to work as a servant.

20. In some stories, Cinderella's real name was Ella (short for Eleanor), and because she would always lie in cinders, her stepfamily would call her CinderElla. However, in the Disney film, "Cinderella" is truly her name by birth.

21. Cinderella's last name would likely have been Tremaine since her stepmother's name was Lady Tremaine unless Lady Tremaine kept her maiden name.

22. According to Disneystrology, Cinderella’s birthday is September 6.

23. According to the Disneystrology book, Snow White’s birthday would be on March 6.

24. Cinderella is magical. She has a special ability to empathize with animals, perceive what they say and communicate with them.

25. Melody is the very first human-merperson hybrid in history, making her birth a significant historic moment in both human and Atlantican history.

26.She is also not considered a canon descendant’s character and considered to be from an AU, but apparently, Beauty & The Beast, Cinderella, Sleeping Beauty, and The Little Mermaid are considered to be happening roughly around the same time in the disney timeline.

26. Melody's bedroom is Ariel's guest room when she first took human form and stayed with Prince Eric, albeit recolored with brighter colors.

27. Contrary to popular belief, Jasmine's age has never been confirmed or even referenced in any of the Aladdin movies, television series, or other spinoff projects. In the original film, the Sultan declares that Jasmine must be married "by her next birthday", but never specifies how old she will become on said birthday.

28. An early story concept for the original film had the Sultan saying, "Jasmine, the law says you must be married by your sixteenth birthday.", which would have made her fifteen years old. This concept was scrapped when Jeffrey Katzenberg became worried about sending the wrong message regarding the idea that fifteen year old girls can get married. Thus, the line was changed to "married to a prince by your next birthday.", leaving Jasmine's canonical age unknown.

29. One of the Disney Princess magazines has a story about two of Jasmine's cousins named Farah and Nadine. Whether they are considered canon is unknown.

30. Although the exact date is not clear, Jasmine's birthday is in late January or early February. This is because when Aladdin and Jasmine fly on the magic carpet, Chinese New Year is being celebrated over in China. This holiday can fall anywhere from January 21 to February 20.

31. She also has another cousin named Sharma who teaches at The Royal Academy.

32. Nasira is the better sorcerer between her and her twin brother, Jafar.

33. According to Disneystrology, Tiana’s birthday would be on December 25, Christmas Day.

34. The trailer implies that Gaston may have been aware of the Beast's curse, and had ulterior motives besides wanting Belle as his wife for attempting to kill the Beast, as the trailer described him as being "one man who wants to keep the spell alive," although it is unconfirmed whether this was the case in the film itself.

35. Despite various concept materials, as listed above, give Gaston the surname of LeGume, the Bimbettes during the song of "Belle" refer to Gaston as "Monsieur Gaston" and Belle in the reprise twice sarcastically refers to herself as "Madame Gaston" suggesting that Gaston is his surname in the final version.

36. The Bimbettes (individual names Claudette, Laurette, and Paulette) are blonde identical triplets who fawn over Gaston. They are inspired by Belle's sisters from the original Beauty and the Beast fairy tale.

37. They are the first Disney characters to possess green eyes without being villains

38. These girls worked their asses off in the comics to get Gaston to notice them. 😩

39. Its implied in one comic that Belle and Gaston were friends when they were children.

40. Ironically, despite Belle being considered by the village to be the most beautiful woman in the village, Laurette once disguised herself as Belle flawlessly enough to fool Gaston initially, which conflicted with the claim that Belle's looks had no parallel.

41. Even though he is referred to as a prince in the opening, none of the characters directly refer to him by that title. In addition, the first draft for Woolverton's take of the film indicated that the Beast was intended to be a duke instead of a prince.

42. According to the first stained-glass window featured in the film's opening sequence, Adam’s family motto is "vincit qui se vincit" (meaning "The winner is who wins himself").

42. Though the Beast's official age is not mentioned in the movie, it is strongly indicated by the narrator's statement that the rose "would bloom until his 21st year." As the rose has already begun to wilt by the time Belle arrives at the castle, it is very likely that the Beast is 20 years (i.e. on their 21st year) of age by this point.

43. In authorized supplementary comics, most notably The New Adventures of Beauty and the Beast, the Prince is never shown as being older than a preteen when he's shown as a human; moreover, the palace staff all refer to his pre-curse self as "a young boy" or "child". Two individual comics show that the Prince was originally a few years older than Chip, who didn't age during the curse, and shows him as being a couple of years older than Belle herself. The comics also show that the Prince has had a few run-ins with the disguised Enchantress, meaning that he'd still be a preteen when he was cursed.

44. Despite her slim figure, Belle seems to have considerable strength. She may have lifted the Beast, as evidenced by the Beast being placed onto Philippe's back, although this was never shown on-screen. Later on, she was able to pull the Beast up onto a balcony.

45. Belle is currently the only official Disney Princess to have hazel eyes.

46. In the beginning of the original 1989 storyline, found on the Diamond Edition DVD, Belle's birthday is celebrated, and the cake reads "Happy 17th Birthday Belle", providing evidence that she is 17 in the movie, or at least that she was originally planned to be 17.

47. Contrary to popular belief, it's not made clear whether Belle was actually born a peasant, as she implies that she wasn't born in her home village in the opening song, but rather moved there. In addition, her owning books at her cottage implied that she is, or at least was, considerably wealthy (as back in the time period of the film, books were considerably expensive).

48. In the musical, specifically the song "No Matter What" one of the lyrics had Maurice stating "You are your mother's daughter; therefore you are class ... crème de la crème", implying that Belle was part of the social upper class. This was also supported by Belle having a portrait of her and her mom in the Enchanted Tales of Belle attraction.

49. In earlier drafts, Aladdin had three human friends named Babkak, Omar, and Kassim.

50. In the episode "Two to Tangle", it's revealed that Aladdin has unexplored magic powers hidden within his soul. This may possibly be a link to him being "The Diamond In The Rough".

#descendants #disney descendants #uma descendants #mal descendants #carlos descendants

[snapscube]

i trust your opinions very much so i have an important question: how would you rank all six seasons of better call saul?

Oh god this is such a difficult thing to do but my gut take is, from highest to lowest (of course keeping in mind that even the lowest tier is still 10/10 filmmaking and one of my favorite shows of all time):

Season 3 - Easily the show at its best imo. I feel like I maybe go against the grain ever so slightly when I say that I enjoy the first half of this show ever so slightly more than the back half, and it really loses something special when Michael McKean as Chuck leaves despite having enough interesting stories to go the rest of the way. Jimmy's relationship with Chuck is the infinitely compelling centerpiece of his character that quite literally changes everything that came before and that would come after. not to mention this is the season that gave us Chicanery, which is my favorite episode of the show and one of my favorite episodes of television ever.

Season 5 - though I think S6 ends up being an intensely compelling finale overall, I think the more straightforward direct descent into darkness that the characters experience in this season ends up being JUST A TAD more potent for me. Especially once you reach the end and see where Kim lands and how that affects Jimmy internally. The payoff is great, but there's something about the impending potential for disaster that this season sets up that really made it stick with me.

Season 2 - This season gave us the inflatable man montage. I need say no more.

Season 4 - This season gave us the something stupid montage. I need say no more.... but I will. It was also the introduction of Lalo, a character I honestly don't know if I fully believed we would see until it happened. Fucking legendary piece of lore building.

Season 1 - Again, I think Jimmy's relationship with Chuck is THE SINGLE MOST INTERESTING thing this show ever added to the character of Saul Goodman. This season is an extremely worthwhile buildup to understanding that relationship fully, and though some complain it's too much of a slow burn I think it's perfectly paced. This and Season 2 give us the "early years Saul Goodman" show that the premise implies, but has just enough tension boiling underneath the surface to lead us into what the show REALLY is come Season 3 onward.

Season 6 - ...okay I KNOW HOW THIS LOOKS. I honestly wasn't expecting Season 6 to be at the bottom of this list because I REALLY LOVE Season 6. I think it's just because I've watched the other seasons so, so, so many times so they just really mean a lot to me, and I still only have one watch of S6 under my belt. I gotta rewatch it soon cause there is so much to love about the way this show wraps up. Again, I have to stress: bottom of a Better Call Saul tier list is still S+ filmmaking.

I fucking love this show

#better call saul

[chenfordspiral]

There are now 10 main characters on The Rookie — rank them! 😈

Why, Sarah? Why?? Although, maybe it's not as hard as I thought? We shall see..

Tim and Lucy (1 & 2) I think these two are pretty self-explanatory, right? They both just got a very special place in my heart, both separately and together. I could cry over how for they've both come since the first episode. I could also write an essay here but I don't think I could stop before the new episode airs so I won't lol.

Angela (3) I just love her, okay? Always have, always will. My favorite no-nonsense detective.

Grey (4) Because he's the papa bear of the group and cares for every single officer at that station.

Aaron (5) Because he's just awesome. I won't lie, I wasn't sure what to make of his character at first, but I've come to really love him since then. His comedic relief? Perfect. Him partnered up with Tim? Chef's kiss.

Harper (6) Because she doesn't take shit from anyone and could easily take any guy twice her size and put him in his place.

Wesley (7) Listen, I like the guy, but with all the other characters we have he just.. moves down the list pretty quickly? But I do love that he's not some a**hole lawyer like others have been portrayed on the show, and that he's actually fighting for the right people.

Celina (8) Again, I can't say I dislike her, but I'm also not her biggest fan. Obviously, she's still a rookie, but there's been a few things that never would've been accepted when Lucy and Nolan were rookies. That one scene where she essentially goes off at Tim in 5x19 (?) comes to mind. I can't believe she didn't get at least a firm talking to.

Bailey (9) Okay, so.. here's the thing with Bailey. I've always been bothered by how she seemingly knows how to do everything and has about 135 different jobs. They seem to have tampered that one down quite a bit recently, but she still only interacts with Nolan, except for a quick conversation with someone else here or there. I said this in another post recently, but I think if she were more involved with others, I might like her better.

Nolan (10) What does it say about me (and maybe the character) that the titular character is my least favorite out of 10? I know not everyone would agree with me here, but I just.. don't care about him? I'm mad at him, or how obviously different he's being treated sometimes, every other episode; 6x04 being the latest example because there are literally no consequences when he messes up and then he ends up on the TV only hours later?? Come on. I know he's a new TO, but he's had so many ridiculously great role models and yet, here we are. I'm sorry to everyone who likes/loves him, but I just don't care about him at all.

Can Tamara be an honorary mention? I just love how far she's come since we met her and her bond with Lucy is so sweet. I love me some found sisters. I think I'd put her in like.. mh, 4th? 5th?

Whew, okay. So maybe this was a bit tougher than anticipated. Top 3 and bottom 3 were easy, but the rest? Help, that was difficult. Thank you so much for this, Sarah! As tough as some of these asks are to answer, I love doing them nonetheless. 🫶🏻

#chenford #the rookie #favorite characters #asked and answered #queseraone #should we all go spam Sarah's inbox with the same question now???

[inexplicablymine]

Soon to be YOUR WIP Wednesday

Instead of sharing my own work this week, I’m sharing the 10 prompts I just submitted to the @halloweenhuh Fanworks Fest.

YOU YES YOU can go claim one of these prompts and write to your hearts content, I highly encourage it ;)

Styled as actual summaries instead of outlines because I think it’s fun and a more creative way to make the story match… BEHOLD

1. The one with sugary treats

“I swear to god if you have just dyed everybody’s buttercream black with your stupid charcoal paste I will end you.”

“You can try sweetheart but we all know I’ll come out on top.”

Cupcakes, cakes, and all things sweet, welcome to the Halloween episode of “Can You Bake It” featuring our favorite contestants in their most challenging week yet.

2. The one where they are cowboys

All Alex can really think about is the way Henry’s ass looks in those jeans, how his cowboy boots fit, and the way the Stetson he is wearing sits just right on his head.

Cowboys for Halloween was a great idea.

3. The one where they grow up together

5 Times they went in a group costume for Halloween growing up and 1 time Henry and Alex went in a couples costume

4. The one with the masquerade

Maybe there is something in the Hallow’s Eve punch, maybe there is something in the way that dapper stranger moves across the ballroom, maybe it is the fact that everyone is masked, maybe it is the fact that there hasn’t been a ball this grand in decades, regardless someone has caught his attention and Alexander, well, he never said he had the patience of a saint.

5. The one where it’s not all fun and games… or maybe it is

Come in costume they said. It would be a fun party they said. Tell that to the fact that he is stranded with his arch nemesis, blindfolded, on the side of the road, shirtless, soaked in something he isn’t even sure what to name.

Alex would think that would be enough for one evening, but Henry kissed him only moments ago and he isn’t sure if he is more mad at Henry, or himself for liking it.

Halloween is about to be one wild night.

6. The one where I insert the ghostbusters theme here

Alex did NOT want to be living with a ghost, but he wasn’t all too upset about the hot ghostbuster that he kept getting to call over to the house.

7. The one with Arthur’s world famous Halloween party

Meeting the parents wasn’t supposed to be nerve wracking, but Arthur Fox was literally James Bond, and Alex might throw a New Years Bash in Texas for his mother’s Governor’s ball every year, but Arthur’s Halloween parties are legendary.

8. The one where it’s shipping season and the suitors get competitive

“Fall Ball, there is no earthly antiquated reason why this kingdom still does something so ghastly”

“You want to ask Alexander don’t you?” Pez asks with a raised eyebrow

“Just me and everyone else,” Henry sighs out.

In an event rivaling the Spring Fling, the Fall Ball was one of the most prime positions during suitors season to make a move. Everyone wants Alexander’s hand, so Henry must work extra hard to capture his heart.

9. The one where Alex is a ghost courier

Alex looks down at his note again and shakes his head. Trying out the Ouija board with Nora had been a mistake. Now he was on some convoluted journey to tell a bunch of people a ghosts last wishes. The laundry list of names is long, but near the bottom there is one that makes his heart flip over in his chest, why in the world would a disembodied voice want to talk with Henry?.

10. The one where they are making spooky outfits for the Met Gala

“I think you might have bitten off more than you can chew.”

“I’ll bite you.”

“I mean I wouldn’t be opposed.”

The Met Gala Costuming Institute has named this years theme as “The Haunting.” It might only be tipping into fall but the design houses are already in full swing. Too bad fashion’s best and brightest don’t get along… or do they?

You can claim one of my prompts (or one of the other amazing 61 prompts) here and go follow along @halloweenhuh for some fandom fun!

#halloweenhuh #ao3 #red white and royal blue #inexplicablymine #inexplicablymine recommends #inexplicablymine prompts

[cf56]

Season 3 segment names solved

Alright, let me get to the bottom of all of these segment names once and for all. Literally, I have figured out almost every single segment name for the season, with near 100% certainty. This post will contain the biggest

SPOILERS

I've ever posted on this blog.

(It’s not really that spoilery, though, just the same thing you’ll see when you log into Hulu to watch season 3. Episode descriptions and titles.)

I went digging myself on ui.eidr.org, where many of the leaks originally came from. I was able to match the episode titles with the descriptions we now have of the episodes to definitively say which is which.

I would like to credit this ask for prodding me to look deeper into this.

Episode 1 is "Previously On/Season 3 & WB/How to Friendship"

Previously On will likely be a lead-in to Season 3 & WB, recapping what happened in the season 2 finale.

Episode 2 is "Soda-pressed/A Starbox is Born/Royal Flush"

I know this because the title "Royal Flush" matches up with the description of "Brain plans to rig a high stakes poker game to become the new Kind of England". Now look at the first description for this episode. That's right, the influencer episode is not "Teeniacs." It's "Soda-Pressed." I was reluctant all along to say for sure that the teen influencer episode was actually "Teeniacs", and it turns out I was right to be skeptical.

Episode 3 is "Planet Warner/Talladega Mice: The Ballad of Pinky Brainy/D.I.WHY?"

So "Planet Warner" has nothing to do with aliens or Warner creatures and is actually the segment about a day on the Warner Bros. lot.

Episode 4 is probably "Fantasy - Cold Open"/"Über Nachtmare"/possibly more

There are only 9 complete episode titles listed out of 10 for the season, so I had to piece this one together out of random segment names that didn't have a home in any other episode title. This one has by far the most uncertainty. "Über Nachtmare" is the segment with Scratchy and Wakko in the car together.

Episode 5 is probably "Teeniacs/Starbox & Cindy: Dog Days/Groundmouse Day Part One"

Episodes 4 and 5 have no descriptions. I put this episode here through the process of elimination, and because it stands to reason that "Groundmouse Day Part One" would be in the episode immediately before "Groundmouse Day Part Two"/"Groundmouse Day Again". This episode could just as well be episode 4, though.

"Teeniacs" actually probably is the one with older Dot, which is what I thought in the beginning, but we got led astray. Full circle speculation.

Episode 6 is "Animaliens/Murder Pals (Part 1)/Groundmouse Day Again/Murder Pals (Part 2)/The Island of Dr. Warneau/Murder Pals (Part 3)"

This one has two different titles on EIDR, with the biggest difference being that "Groundmouse Day Again" was alternatively called "Groundmouse Day Part Two". I have no idea what Murder Pals is.

Episode 7 is "The Wrath of Khan/Lawn in Sixty Seconds/All's Fair in Love and Door"

Don't have much to say about this one. I did guess that "All's Fair in Love and Door" was the PATB alternate reality one, based on the trailer clips.

Episode 8 is probably "WARnerGAMES/Starbox & Cindy: Bedtime/WARnerGAMES 2/Crumbly's Moment"

This one is weird. There are two episode titles with "Starbox & Cindy: Bedtime" in the middle. The other one is "Ready Warner One: Part One/Starbox & Cindy: Bedtime/Ready Warner One: Part Two". The "Ready Warner One" title was created months before the "WarnerGames" title, so my theory is that "Ready Warner One" was recently renamed to "WarnerGames".

Episode 9 is "How the Brain Thieved Christmas Part One/Santamaniacs/How the Brain Thieved Christmas Part Two"

Looks like a fun Christmas episode. I find it interesting that Brain is "desperately" trying to take over the world. Is he realizing his time is running out, or just sick of all the failure?

Episode 10 is "International Mouse of Mystery/Aliens Resurrected/Joe/The Stickening/Slappy's Return/Everyday Safety: Giant Adirondack Chair"

The global warming segment is "Aliens Resurrected" or "Joe", and it does sound like aliens are threatening to destroy Earth unless Yakko convinces them otherwise with a song. Animaniacs ends with "Everyday Safety: Giant Adirondack Chair", which is either fitting or disappointing. I'm really curious to see how they turn that into an ending. Slappy returns in the finale, but it doesn't seem like her segment will be very long.

#animaniacs #animaniacs 2020 #animaniacs reboot #animaniacs spoilers #the warner siblings #yakko wakko and dot #pinky and the brain #animaniacs season 3 #slappy squirrel #cfposts

[gamemakerm]

I'm working on a list of mermaid media rated from 1 to 10 where 1 is "that's just a human with superpowers," 5 is "top half is a human and bottom half is a fish with a hard line in between" and 10 is "that's absolutely a creature"

Tidelands (up until at least episode 4) is a 1, very disappointing

The Little Mermaid (2023) is a 6, she's got a tail and also scaly bits. Solid effort, but could be pushed

Wednesday has sirens allegedly, but I only watched episode 1 and in that they're only a 1, barely a 2

The Thirteenth Year gets a 7; a formative disney channel original movie that actually puts some hand prosthetics on their merboy, groundbreaking

Siren ranked fairly high, like an 8. Those sirens have some BtVS makeup and webbed hands, well done

H20: Just Add Water and Mako Mermaids are around a 5, but also get my respect for doing the mermaid thing for as long as they did

I checked out Pirates of the Carribean: On Stranger Tides and honestly the mermaids in that one scene are so fast and its so dark i have no idea if they can become fucked up creatures or not. But they get a 6.5 by virtue of being terrifying. The main one featured gets a 6 though

Tropical-Rouge! Pretty Cure has my favorite mermaid and she actually has fin ears in her mermaid form, which gets her a 6, but also I love her so she gets a 10 in my heart

Avatar The Way of Water is like an 7, doing surprisingly well for a movie that isn't about mermaids at all

Literally the only media I've found that gets a 10 is The Sea in You, a webcomic by Jessica Sheron of @theotherhappyplace fame. They've got it all: fully covered in scales! Neck gills! Big ol eyes! Pointy teeth! Arm fins! Webbed fingers! The works! (Leave it to a horror fan to not be a fucking coward about mermaid design)

#mermaids #merfolk #mermay #mermay 2023 #i know its june shush #i'm always looking for mermaid media to watch so give me some recs #but i only care about mermaid stuff if it's actually prominent main plot stuff #i don't count like. Peter Pan having one scene with mermaids

[grammarpedant]

tagged by @howdydowdy a little while ago, finally got my answers together- thanks for the tag, friend! <3

fave color blue and purple if I have to pick 'em out of an emoji lineup. otherwise i will wax poetic all day about the subtle shades of sunset, umber glow and cyan softness, twilight mirages in the sky--

currently reading Second in the Matthew Swift series, The Midnight Mayor by Kate Griffin. am patiently taking note of any imagery that I can turn into a clay sculpture or put on a mug. (The brand on the hand cross-within-a-cross is an obvious contender, but I prefer to avoid iconography that might reference a real-world non-MSwift thing.)

last song god neon / god neon knows ... the grass is always greener but the city's got a hold on me. Something tickled a brain neuron or two a few weeks back and I went looking for a MSwift playlist, and it turned out @chimaerakitten had already picked out some BANGERS. And did the playlist cover design too, I think? Another incredible graphic design that I want to put on a mug or maybe a shotglass.

last series been making my way through the Mushishi series and Cowboy Bebop with my anime watch buddies :3 they're both very episodic fare but otherwise, as expected, vastly different in tone. Some of Cowboy Bebop's jokier episodes weird me out but the one with the Actual Cowboy (really a rich man playing at danger) did genuinely make me laugh. I've otherwise been enjoying the cultural touchstone for Space Heists; it makes me nostalgic for running forged in the dark games.

last movie Everything Everywhere All At Once, second watch-through with my sister and the openness of the ending struck me as much bleaker this time. Like damn, Evelyn's really gonna be stuck with cosmic ADHD for the rest of her forseeable future, huh.

currently working on god what am I not working on. It's easiest to talk about my clay projects: an egg-shaped rattle that I still need to cut open and fill with beads and finish trimming, six slab-built mug forms that need bottoms and handles and underglazing (three of them are spoken for), a rocket ship sculpture that keeps getting more complicated the more I mess with the project (I added a fucking removable bottom compartment like an idiot and i KEEP forgetting to check if my studio has a spirit level I can use when I go to add the fins/leg stands!! ugh), a big cup and a little cup that need glazing, a teddy bear piggy bank that needs two more layers of glaze and to buy a cork to fit into his top hat. This doesn't include pieces that I recently finished and just need to pick up from the kiln, pieces that I'm in the process of mailing (I swear they're getting mailed out soon i PROMISE) or pieces in the planning stage. whew.

this doesn't include my writing projects either, lmao. mother fuck there's not enough time in the day

share 10 different favorite characters from ten different pieces of media in no particular order, then tag 10 people 🎥🎬📺

murderbot murderbotdiaries 2. the knight hollowknight 3. medicine seller mononoke 4. matthew swift matthewswift 5. ithye xallen oathbreaker 6. emiya shirou fatestaynight 7. sophie hatter jenkins pendragon 8. saria arknights 9. ed cowboybebop at his computer 10. literally any character played by Keith J. Carberry of friends at the table

hm! hard to pick just ten to tag... shouting out @chimaerakitten @kesbeacon @okayto @worldsentwined @iztarshi @blessphemy @broken-risk-assessment-module @liminalmouse @stinkyofficial @outoforderaro if you want to play, no pressure if not. (and if we're mutuals: feel free to consider yourself also tagged :D )

#verso talks #tag game #meme #verso touches clay #queue

[manygalaxiesinone]

Worst Fictional Friends in my opinion:

1. Heather (Total Drama). You know you fucked up when Lindsay and Beth became besties over their dislike of you. I would also put Duncan here as well as he technically broke bro code. Damn season 2 did my boy, Trent, dirty. But to be fair, Courtney was not making things easy. Her little controlling toxic ass. I should put her up here too after plotting to vote Gwen off right after the two of them made up, but I want to stick to just one character per series.

2. Rigby (Regular Show) there are MULTIPLE TIMES where Rigby fucked things up for Mordecai, (granted Mordecai isn't exactly innocent himself) but this dood bet not only his soul, but all of his friends in the park for a soul ball behind their backs! And let’s not forget that Rigby hid Mordecai’s college acceptance letter out of envy. Like I said, Mordecai’s not innocent either, but Rigby caused way more problems at the end of the day in my opinion.

3. Okay if you think about it, both Sasuke Uchiha and Sakura Haruno were pretty toxic. Do I really need to say anything in Sasuke's case? He tried to kill him like multiple times. And Sakura made fun of him for being an orphan in front of Sasuke, who is another orphan! Can’t really decide which one is worse overall, so I’ll just leave it at a tie and let you guys decide. They should've put Naruto with Shikamaru and Hinata on the same team.

4. Granted I still haven't fully caught up with My Hero, but from what I've seen, Bakugo can go die in a hole for all I care. The moment you tell your childhood friend to jump off a building you automatically get put in the toxic tier. I honestly don't see why people ship these two together. Valvatorez and Fenrich from Disgaea would make a better gay pairing than this.

5. Hartia from Orphen deserves to be here for one reason. He was in on Childman's plan to just hunt down Azalie in order to appease the higher ups while secretly finding a way to restore her from her dragon form, AND YET HE DIDN’T SAY SHIT ABOUT IT TO ORPHEN!!! How you go your best friend like that?! Look I know the tower has eyes, but you couldn't have said "Let's meet somewhere private so I can tell you what's actually going on?"! That's his older sister we're talking about!

6. Patrick (Spongebob) did have some loyal moments, but damn he did spongebob dirty so many times. Same goes for a good portion of Bakini Bottom if you think about it. Do I have to bring up the "No Spongebob day" episode?

7. Princess Bubblegum (Adventure Time) has done a LOT of crap. Calling her manipulative is honestly an understatement, BUT I will give her a bit of leeway because she has lived a very long time and has suffered quite a lot of backstabbing throughout the years, even from her own family. (Looking at you, Lemongrab). So honestly, her ending up at least a little paranoid isn’t really all that surprising.

8. Iza (Kingdom Hearts) literally went full on dark side because of his envy of Roxas and Xion. And before you said anything, yeah Riku did the same in Kingdom Hearts 1, but it was only during that one game and he recognized his mistake at the end of that same game. Iza went a step beyond though and tried to get Lea to stop being around them so much and even later started antagonizing him. Motherfucker really said “no new friends”.

9. Eric Cartman (South Park). ‘Nuff said.

10. Cerberus (Disgaea). This motherfucker plotted to used Zed to destroy the universe by turning his sister Bieko into a God of Destruction and have her kill him countless times. All because his true love got killed. That’s right, he basically pulled an Obito. And even AFTER they saved his ass when his body broke down. Yeah Zed wasn’t exactly the nicest person around, but after the shit Cerberus pulled, can you blame him? Even Cerberus himself pointed out that Zed used to be more of a kinder zombie before the God of Destruction appeared. Gee! I wonder why he changed?! It couldn’t possibly do with the fact with he was forced to fight his sister and die over and over and over and over again and was tricked into thinking he had to kill her in order to put her out of her misery for good! That couldn’t POSSIBLY why he started developing a cold shoulder! I was honestly thinking about putting either Etna or Fenrich up here, but no. Cerberus definitely tops whatever stunts those two pulled.

#the mun has spoken #total drama #disgaea #adventure time #kingdom hearts #south park #spongebob squarepants #naruto #my hero academia #sorcerous stabber orphen #regular show

[faustocosgrove]

and on the thirteenth day of reviewmas I, Fausto, give to thee:

[(a show taking place in 2040/6 other shows i reference in this dual review)/(a different franchise with 1 manga + 4 anime series + 3 tv specials + 5 feature films + 1 musical +1 video game + 2 live action adaptations)] - (one show released in 1994 - the other released in 1987) = 13 reasons why i’m placing this review at number 13.

one of 12 instances of elder abuse

11 yawns

my 10 remaining brain cells after this shitty movie jfc

9 instances this show reminded me of a better show

an 80s cult movie

7 lgbt main characters in an incredibly queer manga like holy shit

6 ye olde government agents

5/5 stars best movie of the decade easily. might be the best movie of all time

4 scantily clad teenaged girls (fbi open up! meme)

the 3rd time i read the same book about lawns maybe?

2 high school animes

and a ninja book

…from a guy who still thinks about the naruto series in the year 2024

yes that math checks out. i would have simply placed it else where if it didn’t.

here’s the math again without words to make it easier on you:

[(2040/6)/(1+4+3+5+1+1+2)]-(1994-1987)=13

hell, i’ll even show my work

2040/6=340 1+4+3+5+1+1+2=17 1994-1987=7 340/17=20 20-7=13

Another dual review!

this review contains spoilers for a series not reviewed here: the nausicaa manga.

So I was turned off by this first show’s art style and kept scrolling around it but i’m running out of bad 80s and 90s anime on this free streaming service. also there’s like 3 seasons and 2 movies i keep seeing over and over again so i finally said the hell with it and turned it on. i don’t know how far i got through episode one, but i turned it off before the credits rolled. Anyway, City Hunter is the story of a vigilante/mercenary in 80’s tokyo with a gun who is also a massive pervert. that’s it. that’s the show.

based on the wikipedia page, it seems to have been quite popular, considering is has like 2 seasons and 3 movies or whatever up on the streaming service i should have seen that coming.

y’know i’d brush off that i didn’t like this on the fact that i’m not a fan of crime dramas, but i literally watched all of Nightwalker and that show was fucking awful. and i would also make the excuse that i’m not a fan of pervert is comedy but that’s a good chunk of Ranma 1/2 and like all of Urusei Yatsura and i didn’t hate either of those. i dunno, stars weren’t aligned or something.

Anyway, since i was scraping the bottom of the barrel for 80s and 90s anime i made the massive genre shift to a 90s american saturday morning cartoon.

i am not a clever man.

I also only got part way through episode one of Phantom 2040, but i’ll probably come back to it, just not often enough to shelve this review until i do.

I have never seen an animated show where everyone is ugly before. it’s fascinating. i want to study it. i mean the bad guys are clearly uglier than the main cast, but even the Phantom, who is supposed to be an 18 year old kid, is kinda ugly. best looking character in the whole cast so far is light googling Guran, the grandson of the original Guran. i mean at least in a franchise that’s core theme is “white man gets magic power from africa and is trained by a black man” makes everyone uglier than the one black character. i choose to believe that was intentional. tiny consolidation prize for the overarching racism.

the show also has that 80’s “this show was made for the sole purpose of selling merchandise” feel, mainly in how all the character models look like they’d translate into dolls very easily. unfortunately the result of the dollification is that everyone is doing the tory power stance at all times. like, so the doll can stand up by having its feet apart. this choice also leads to a lot of weird crotch shots. like, a guy or an evil robot gets shot and tumbles backward. with their legs apart. so you just get this animation rotating around the whole no-no-zone. and like i can see kids playing with their dolls shoot them and they die and knocking them over and like the kid knocks the doll down to show it’s dead. and this is like animating that. but it’s still weird crotch shots.

mild tangent warning, but i am going somewhere with this.

i am a huge fan of nausicaa of the valley of the wind. it’s my favorite book, bar none. yes my favorite book is a manga, shut up. i’m really touchy when it comes to nausicaa references. i detest the character rei from the new star wars movie because the opening sequence of that movie is just nausicaa references and then the rest of the movie has zero environmentalism. i’m also a huge Lily Orchard fan who has through the years used rei as an example of a perfectly fine character that men don’t like just because she’s a girl. and in spite of all the evidence i’ve seen of rei being a perfectly fine character whose trials and growth just don’t happen to revolve around environmentalism, i still can’t bring myself to like the character because i can’t detach the lazy nausicaa references from her. a thinking error on my part, but i just can’t fix it.

and then there’s the movie I Kill Giants where in the final battle the little girl’s hallucination tells her to stop fucking around and go see her mother before she dies of cancer and then drops the line “All things that live in this world die. That is why you must find joy in the living while the time is yours, and not fear the end. To deny this, is to deny life. But to embrace it…can you embrace it?” which has some, keyword some, resemblance to the final fight scene in nausicaa where our hero says “all things are born from the darkness and all things return to the darkness” and “suffering and folly will not disappear in a purified world. they are part of humanity. that is why, even in a world of suffering, there can also be joy and shining light” and “we can know the beauty and cruelty of the world without the help of a giant tomb and its servants” which is not to say that i think the mom cancer movie was ripping off nausicaa like starwars did. i understand that accepting death is a concept that many works depict and use almost these exact phrases because we all have to fuckin grapple with death, but the lesson of accepting death is an important one and it’s one the movie i kill giants did poorly. but because i’m obsessed with nausicaa it’s an insult to nausicaa to tell a story where a little girl is in denial for like 80 minutes then gets all the lessons crammed in her face that she somehow accepts suddenly versus nausicaa who comes to this realization herself after her father dies in book one of seven, being in a content wide war, and suffering from radiation poisoning herself. i mean even her pets die. her teacher dies. and in the purified garden scene nausicaa has to be brainwashed for her to forget all that’s going on and she only struggles for about 5 minutes with the idea of forgetting the real problem and playing a game of everything being fine in fantasy land before she snaps back to reality.

wow i really wrote more words letting you know how obsessed i am with nausicaa than i did reviewing either of the shows.

anyway, back to phantom 2040. there’s this bit about the new phantom discovering a leaf that after scientific analysis is determined to be a plant that absorbs the poison in the soil and destroys it.

unenthusiastic drumroll

exactly like the forest of corruption in nausicaa.

and… i don’t hate it.

i don’t know why it doesn’t come across as blatant plagiarism to me when i kill giants literally had nothing to do with nausicaa and i hold it to that standard anyway. it might be because i haven’t finished the series so i don’t know how bad it gets. it might be because phantom 2040 clearly didn’t make any money so i guess i think stealing is okay if you suck at stealing so bad you can’t even make money by copying literally the best thing to ever be written? sure. there you go, there’s my review.

#fausto reviews things #city hunter #phantom 2040

[5lu7]

A game of: SMASH OR PASS, regarding my alters, in chronological order of their first appearance (that I remember)

(excluding littles… OBVIOUSLY)

1: ON THE BED, IN THE CAR, ON THE STAIRS, IN PUBLIC, IN PRIVATE, ON VIDEO, TOPPING, BOTTOMING, DOMMING, SUBBING, WHILE EATING, WHILE STARVING, WHILE DRUNK, WHILE SOBER, UNDER THE STARS, OVER THE TABLE, ETC ETC HE’S SO FUCKING HOTTTTTT

(though he’s absolutely the worst most toxic attachment in this list. He was an adult and I was like 13 when he took over my body forcefully, almost committed murder with it, and then raised me to be a soulless, unloveable bastard. He also violated me sexually at least once. I need him so bad though I need him so bad)

2: No. Pass. I was literally him under five years ago, I hate myself too much to fuck a dude who is essentially a different me, but is way more judgemental than me, way less chill than me, and even less morally sound. At least he was more ambitious and hopeful though!

3: Neither, she’s too ethereal and pure… I’d just stare at her in awe for three hours straight and then work up the courage to snuggle with her and weep while she pets my hair

4: Maybe? Idk my parents would definitely approve of him

5: Imagine doing the nasty with a robot xenomorph thing… (that means pass. I’m not like some of you absolute weirdos)

6: SMASHHHHHHH YES YES YES!!!!! (He’s the same dude as #1 at least 30% of the time due to merging, and when he’s not, he’s still really similar and he currently has the same face claim as #1 rn (Fugue Harvey Dent from Gotham Knights, episode 10 “Poison Pill”… **moans and arches back**), so SMASH. But I’d slap his face and spank him a LOT more and a LOT harder than #1 because he’s a lying piece of SHIT which annoys the hell out of me because I’m tryna figure out the truth of what caused all of this and I do NOT appreciate people who get between me and my goals, which is unfair because #1 is actually WAY worse and WAY more toxic)

7. SMASH!!! He’s spooky and kooky and I liked him a lot in the very short time we had together! Also his face claim was Christian Bale’s Gorr, so… (twirls hair and bites lip)

8: PASS PASS PASS she’s lovely I’m sure but that’s Jesus’s MOTHER I need to take a shower in holy water just thinking abt it…

9: Idk depends on which iteration of Barbie she is. If she looks like Margot Robbie then 100% SMASH

10: Pass… They weren’t unsexy per sé but they had 0% sexy energy and 100% emergency situation energy. Like a person sitting next to you under a desk in an active shooter situation telling you to shut tf up

11. PASS. She’s absolutely batshit insane and a cunt… Though I’d prolly hit her up if I was self-loathing and felt like I wanted to be genuinely abused and violated (/nonsexual, /nonhyperbolic)

BONUS!!!! THEORIZED ALTERS:

Theorized alter 1: wow PAAAAAAASSSSSS. I hope I never hear from him again. He makes me feel like absolute SHIT whenever he’s around and he NEVER shuts up!

Theorized alter 2: Hell no PASS I was him like less than nine months ago and he’s pathetic and erratic and insane. Like peak BPD behaviour but not in a tumblr sexy way. Just in a desperate train wreck way. Everyone was right abt him being cringe. Though I do feel bad for him because his behavior was a result of being in so much pain that he was literally being driven insane by it and had to go to the emergency room multiple times for actual physical health issues that literally manifested from the emotional pain itself. He felt like his organs were rotting and/or being lit on fire for like at least nine hours a day, and would do ANYTHING to try and avoid it, even if it meant being horrible and doing horrible shit to try and summon alter #1, who doesn’t feel emotional pain. He didn’t deserve allat he was just tryna succeed

Theorized alter 3: SMASH!!!! I’d be absolutely honored, I could only wish to be worthy of such a gift from his holiness! I suspect he’s prolly (based off of?) the same guy as #1 & #6, though I’ve never met him personally nor do I know much about him. He’s the alter at the top of the entire system hierarchy, I think.

And that’s all the (non-little) hoes in my brain I feel like putting in the effort to remember for this post, though I think I have more.

[sheacouleecametoslay]

All Stars 5 (2020)

And I continue to be disillusioned by the All-Stars series! The main issue with AS3 and AS4 was the twists and the controversial finales, but the casting was solid enough to elevate their rankings. AS5 doesn't have those issues. Instead, the cast just doesn't feel like an All-Stars cast, no disrespect. I was pretty meh on Cracker and Mayhem during Season 10, and somewhat neutral on Blair as well. Meanwhile, India only had one memorable on Season 3, and it wasn't even her moment. Mariah was also an unexpected pick, but she's underrated. Still, she was an early out again. I was hyped to see Ongina back after all these years, but she bombed every challenge. Derrick could've been the villain again but she was out first. Which just left Shea, Jujubee and Alexis to root for. IDC about Cracker's track record, she was beyond annoying. The season felt uneventful too? AS5 was lacking in iconic, memorable moments. Alexis got into drama with multiple queens, Derrick and India had a fight, and Jujubee talked about her cats. That's about it really. The premiere and the Snatch Game are the best episodes; the rest were forgettable. The final 4 was so boring after Alexis was gone. And Untucked was pure filler. Mayhem/Juju/Blair talking about their addictions was a nice moment though. But yeah, AS5 saw the return of Untucked to All-Stars, which seems unnecessary because the deliberation scenes in the main episodes ARE Untucked. AS5 just didn't feel like a high-stakes competition either? There was literally two quitters. No shock eliminations. A predictable winner. And the final 3 was predictable too, since they were only 3 to win a challenge aside from India. The lack of a returnee competition also contributed to the uneventful feeling. Although having said that, there was no reason to bring Ongina, Mayhem or India back into the game, so maybe it was for the best. So AS5 introduced the All-Stars new format, because of how poorly the Naomi voting Manila incident was received. From now on, everybody casts a vote, and there will be one challenge “winner” each week. Said challenge winner will face a mystery Lip Sync Assassin. If the top All-Star wins the lip sync, they individually decide who goes home. If the LSA wins the lip sync, the group vote reigns supreme. But aside from Yvie, the LSAs weren't really trying this season. The lip syncs wouldn't have changed any of the outcomes either. And aside from Alexis and Mayhem voting Shea that one time, the votes were cast fairly this season. Side note: some of the LSAs must've been for storyline reasons, like Morgan during Mayhem's elimination, and Vanjie when Alexis almost got out. The other major twist introduced this season was that, starting from the final 6, if you're not the challenge winner, you're up for elimination. Which is both ridiculous and unfair. Episode 7 also ended with a twist, where Ru got a phone call, which segued into the eliminated queens hiding behind a glory hole in the finale. As for the challenges, they were mostly lackluster. I'd say the girl groups were the best one. The Snatch Game top 3 made me laugh so much; but the bottom 3 and that awkward almost kiss between Ru and JBC... yeah. And what annoys me about the Talent Show judging is that they reward self-referential jokes, callbacks, and catchphrases. I want to see unique talents. Moreover, nobody was funny in “SheMZ”. The hotel challenge was boring - it was a failed attempt to recreate the clubs challenge from AS4. The Ball was okay, but I've never really liked those voiceovers. The stand-up routines could've been stronger. And the “Clap Back” Ru-mix was missing something too. They didn't even show the queens working on their verses... I heard this season was supposed to have a New School vs Old School theme, since the cast is evenly divided that way. But we never saw that rivalry. I kinda wish we had. Instead, we had Derrick vs India (which I enjoyed but it only lasted one episode), the Cracker vs Blair/Mayhem stuff (which was whatever), and the Alexis drama. Her and Shea having to work together was funny. And India's accusation against Alexis became a huge ordeal. It even spilled into the next episode, after India was gone. It cost Alexis a potential finale spot. And we didn't know which side to believe until the finale. I'm glad the eliminated queens returned to give that closure.

Queens Ranking: 10. Miz Cracker Cracker had THE most forced confessionals: the constant screaming (ugh), the props, the heavy breathing, the mind blown effect, the twerking, the unnecessary body movements, the corny lines, the “I hate her” about Shea. Cracker was trying WAY too hard. She even screamed in the Werk Room during the sewing challenge. It's like she wanted to avoid her Season 10 perfectionism so bad. Plus she was so concerned about avoiding a negative perception with the girls. But, like Mayhem said, it didn't come off sincere. And that negative perception persisted anyways. Blair/Mayhem didn't like working with her. She felt misunderstood. One episode, Cracker announced she was up all night because she wanted to write Ongina's name in whiteout, as if this was some hardship for her. And she proceeded to lecture Ongina about believing in herself. Like WTF? All she did was made Ongina feel bad. Then she guiltily changed her tune upon seeing Ongina give up. While next episode, Cracker said her intentions were good, it just came out wrong; while Alexis called her out for apologizing too late and calling it a mistake. Then, after Cracker listed off the queens she respected, Alexis asked why she was omitted, and Cracker rephrased what she meant. Next, Cracker accused Blair of plotting to get her out because of Alexis's comment. And lastly, she sounded like an asshole when she sabotaged everyone in the stand-up order. Cracker was so unenjoyable to watch this season. In the competition: I kept Cracker's Ball win - she had the best construction, and the second best country cousin character. But not the other two. In “SheMZ”, she had the pill bottle, the Photoshop and the slapping jokes. While in the stand-up routine, she started slow saving the best jokes for the end (“humility and love”). But Cracker's comedy was too stiff and calculated for me. Otherwise, she went for self-referential comedy in the Talent Show. She did sexual innuendos for her “I'm In Love” verse, featuring tight choreo. She had the phone bit in the hotel challenge. She showed her identity in “Clap Back”, but sang too fast. And of course, she gave the driest and most unfunny Lady Gaga impression in Snatch Game, and mistakenly responded to Alexis's prompt. Two of Cracker's lip syncs were forgettable as well, and “Make Me Feel” didn't match the vibe of the song. She had the head poke thing in “Where Have You Been” I guess. Her best runways were the 3-in-1 cocoon and the plague doctor pre-reveal. 9. India Ferrah We're stretching the term All-Star here. India probably had the most to prove, but she pulled a Roxxxy Andrews without the fun Rudemption arc. Her confessionals were bland. She snapped in that episode 3 deliberation. And while she did bring the drama, she came off too smug; like her energy turned me off. First she corrected Derrick (I was fired! Your partner did an act mocking me! My insult wasn't directed at her!) Then she informed Shea of Alexis and Mayhem's “campaign” and stuck to that story despite Alexis's denial. But the truth finally came out at the finale, where Mayhem backed Alexis up, and India admitted the “campaign” happened after the votes were cast. So basically she misrepresented the situation. India's timing was too convenient and no one backed her up on it. She told Shea when she was about to be booted. All it did was ruin her friend's chances. Otherwise, India copied someone's entrance look again (shady production). She wanted her celeb crush to be her fiance lol. She made Alexis the choreo leader when Alexis didn't understand why. She talked about her shoplifting past. And she apologized to Derrick in the finale. In the competition: India gave it her all in the Talent Show with the choreo and she made a funny reference to the Mimi incident. No one was ever beating Yvie in that lip sync though. All of India's subsequent bottoms were deserved. Her “I'm In Love” lyrics were basic and that “I felt very attacked” scream was unpleasant. She barely talked in the hotel challenge, except for an awkward golden shower joke. Then in “SheMZ”, she licked a donut and peed broken glass... yeah. While in Snatch Game, she gave one creepy impression of Jeffree Star. Also, her 3-in-1 look was just one look. I didn't like her camo runway either. 8. Mayhem Miller Mayhem “The Drama” Miller lacked fierceness and boldness for me. Sure, she kept giving facial reactions in confessional, and her confessionals weren't bland (“but somebody HMM wants it her way”). She was in generally good spirits too (“I'm still here bitch *screams*”). And her impersonation of Ongina was funny. But she was so passive about leaving. She refused to campaign against India and ultimately voted herself. Only for India to throw her under the bus next episode. Mayhem was so loyal to India for what? Otherwise, Mayhem wanted to rectify playing it too safe on Season 10. She gleefully accepted an alliance with India. She was floored and took it personally that her friend Juju voted her. She got annoyed at Cracker during a team challenge. She didn't believe Cracker's reasoning on the Ongina thing. She voted Shea because she thought that was the plan... lol? And she had an emotional Untucked moment about her drinking, and later talked about her arrests. In the competition: Mayhem had a rough start. She went soft in the Reading, then mumbled during her Talent Show song. It was my least favourite performance of the night. But after that, her “I'm In Love” verse was about Mr Rogers, which was funny. She was also in the top for the hotel challenge. And I didn't think Mayhem was that bad in “SheMZ”? She paused at one point and I didn't understand the whole licking thing, but I thought she gave more effort than others. Still, Mayhem's runways were basic this season. Her 3-in-1 look lacked variety. Weird, since she was one of the top fashion queens of Season 10. 7. Blair St. Clair Falls into the bland/neutral feelings tier. Blair showed she had Nerve towards the end, but she lacked Charisma for me. I also kept forgetting she was on the show. Her confessionals were sometimes whiny (“I promise America I'm not a young bitchy girl I'm fun”; that groan before Snatch Game). Or kinda forced (“Mr cameraman show me my mark; hold my hand and guide me gently”; that cough at Cracker's running order). Or she said confusing things like “what if we're going to voting polls?” Alexis also called her entrance cocky. In Blair's intro, she promised that “I've finally gone through puberty... well almost” and that she's a “strong independent bitch” now. Later on, Blair pitched to the final 4 that wins shouldn't matter (lol). She also talked about her DUI. She mimicked the choreo during the finale, as if she was still competing lol. And she had some tensions with Cracker, calling her difficult and questioning their friendship. Blair tried to smooth things over with Cracker during the plotting accusations though. But she was later upset when Cracker considered her bottom 2. In the competition: Blair was the most forgettable in the Talent Show, but she impressed the next 2 weeks. She had some cannibalism wordplay in her Hannibal Lecter “I'm In Love” verse, and her choreo stole the spotlight. Then she was a solid actress in the hotel advert, even if her room wasn't my fave. Blair struggled after that though. Her “SheMZ” character was annoyingly whiny. She seemed awkward as Ellen DeGeneres in Snatch Game (“Squawk to keep warm” HUH?). Also, her country cousin jokes weren't that clever, and her second look was just some fabric draped over her. Then she kept flipping her notebook during the stand-up routine. Blair was one of the top runway queens this season though – her magenta skin, her 3-in-1, her camo butterflies, and her gender-bending prom queen. 6. Ongina Finally Ongina returned!... and it was a disappointment. She completely psyched herself out after the Reading challenge, worrying if she could still compete in the modern era. The nerves got the best of her. And I think Cracker's unwarranted “lecture” got to her too (“and 3rd there's no 3rd because just STFU already!”) Then Ongina broke down during the episode 2 deliberation, saying she deserved to go home. She even voted for herself. Still, Ongina was having fun in the premiere. She kept giggling at herself. She joked with Derrick: “are you talented enough to do it”. And she was nosy about the India/ Derrick drama lol. In the competition: I didn't understand the point of Ongina's Talent Show act... it was just some basic dancing and reveals to a RuPaul medley. She had an amazing entrance look though, and I liked her feathery runway. But Ongina's “reads” in the Reading mini-challenge weren't reads or jokes. And her “I'm In Love” verse was lacking, but she was sick while recording it. 5. Derrick Barry Derrick leaving first was a misstep by production. The India drama was the best part of the premiere! Derrick went all-in on India during the Reading challenge. Then she gossiped with Ongina and Juju about it. Then she fought with India (India was fired! She called my partner “a pig in a wig”!) Then during deliberation, she acted fake nice to India to stay. Derrick was also delusional, telling the girls “I could've slayed it as Britney and won”, while crying in confessional about how hard it is to not be seen as Britney. Derrick came back wanting to prove she can do more than Britney, but that entrance was Britney. Still, Derrick was funny in her one episode (“maybe she's all good with giving fake hugs”; “you were also quick to finish on your season”; “I think you being here is going to make you feel more validated”). While at the finale, she “relicked” in the drama. In the competition: Derrick's multitude of Talent Show impressions were cringe. The idea was better than the execution. Her finale dress wasn't Britney though! 4. Alexis Mateo Alexis's inclusion benefitted the season. She came back as a confident veteran aiming to win (“it's Alexis world and the rest is f**king parking”). And she was brutally honest. She told Derrick “I thought you were doing Britney the entire time”. She criticized Cracker over the Ongina thing. She continued to poke at Cracker with “so you don't respect me?” and "it's easier for you to just talk there". Shea thought Alexis was unnecessarily butting in, but Cracker was being shady listing off the queens she respected. I'm also not sure if Alexis meant to imply that Mayhem/Blair were plotting against Cracker. Anyways, Alexis's main drama came from voting Shea. Her reasoning was to save her friends, but India claimed otherwise. Alexis gave a logical counterpoint to that, saying a campaign can't be 2 people, and the edit never showed her campaigning. Because of these events, Alexis felt betrayed by India, and gave a frosty voting confessional: “you're a liar and this is why Derrick don't like you”. I mean, this stunt ruined Alexis's game, and with the new twist, her only path was to win challenges. It didn't matter who was right, the doubt was in people's minds. Otherwise, Alexis had fun moments like: wanting Daddy Yankee to grab her like a microphone; “this bitch is into eating people? And she's that skinny?”; not knowing what camo is; blurting out “gosh I need to have sex” to break the tension. That said, it did feel like Alexis was giving others a hard time for things. In the competition: Alexis did well, but not enough to win. She came off as a professional entertainer in the Talent Show, but I'm over these dance numbers. Her Daddy Yankee verse in “I'm In Love” was great, but she barely moved.  She was fine in “SheMZ, but talked over Shea. She was hilarious in Snatch Game, especially when she roasted Cracker and India. It's probably my fave Alexis performance ever. But she kept repeating “you didn't see that one coming”. Her kiddy pool Ball look was ridiculous, but her character wasn't the best and the look was basic. She also played off that spray can mishap well in the hotel challenge. My fave Alexis runways were the camo and prom queen ones. Least fave was the circus 3-in-1. 3. Mariah Paris Balenciaga Mariah, with her many surnames, provides an underrated presence: “I wish I could've done this [vote] to a jackass”; “is she doing the Finding Dory whale call?”; “I coulda went out there in lizard skin, girl who is pu**y pink?”; “I know y'all spent the coin but I spent the mint bitch”; “my tear ducts have turned into raisins”. I also laughed when she ruined the other team's paint job. And when she took her fanny pack and left. And when was displeased at Mayhem quitting for India (“girl you just met this hoe”). Her TV persona came off natural. She was pretty honest with her opinions. And she told Cracker that she enjoyed working with her, when some other girls were getting on Cracker's case. I don't like Cracker, but that was a nice moment. In the competition: Mariah should've won the Talent Show – she voiced an important message and communicated it in an artistic way. But I guess dancing to your catchphrases is what the judges prefer. She also "went there" in the Reading challenge with the rose petals. Unfortunately, Mariah couldn't stay at that level. She looked “out of it” during her “I'm In Love” performance. Then in the hotel challenge, she made jokes about rattan furniture and girthy meats that didn't land. She also talked over Cracker at one point. Her 3-in-1 look wasn't my fave either. She looked pretty in the skin runway though. 2. Shea Couleé We all knew Shea was winning All-Stars from the second she agreed to it. It's Chad and Alaska all over again, who I don't agree were “robbed” on their seasons, but Shea lost to a new twist. Speaking of, her main storyline on AS5 was about how the rose petals affected her. Even though Juju was my fave, Shea outdid her in the finale, so I'm fine with it. Sure, Shea was hoping to cruise straight to the crown, and she acted like Alexis had such AUDICITY to vote her instead of India. She also took Cracker's side during the Cracker/Alexis confrontation (“bitch who was talking to you?”). But I get why Shea felt bitter and uneasy towards Alexis. Alexis based her vote on friendships. What if she kept doing that? And India was just playing into Shea's paranoia that was already there. I loved when Shea threw Alexis's remark back at her though: “So you didn't think that I worked hard?”. Otherwise, Shea had chances to play it strategically this season (like keeping Ongina or booting Alexis), but kept it fair. She was charming (“I know you've all missed me but it's okay”; “but were you surprised? Haha”). She helped the other queens during the sewing challenge. She had emotional moment with Ru about her dad and sister's passing. And she didn't take India's tea at face value, she had a group chat. In the competition: Shea had her ups and downs. She brought some pole dancing to the Talent Show. She ate with her “I'm In Love” verse. She was hilarious as Flavor Flav in Snatch Game (“roses are red, buses is yellow”). And her stand-up routine was consistent. But Shea was flat in the hotel challenge (“picture it”). And her “bitchy” character in “SheMZ” was whatever. Her wedding dress in the Ball was rough-looking too, but her country character had that “She Already Done Had Her Chips” joke. In the finale, Shea's “Clap Back” verse wasn't her best, but her choreo slayed. And she definitely won the “Make Me Feel” lip sync with her robot thing. Between that and her dance moves in “Neutron Dance”, Shea redeemed herself in the lip syncs. “Open Your Heart” was forgettable though. As for her runways, the skin one was a wow moment. I also liked her camo watering can. The colourful 3-in-1 was a lot though; as was the rose petal prom queen. 1. Jujubee “Gimme the crown RuPaul can I have the crown please?”; “I am the pu**y staircase”; “RuPaul what the f**k?; “If I put $20,000 in an IRA Roth, do you know how much money that is? $20,000 in an IRA Roth”; “John Stamos ahh ohh Greek yogourt”; “second language my ass”; “I could vote for Shea to leave ooh is this strategy bitch”; “what's going through my mind right now is ohh I miss my cats, they don't judge me, they do, but they have to live with me”; “it's like a Juju sandwich with two pieces of white bread... I'm aroused”; “WTF is backyard eleganza? I don't have a backyard”; “how do you unregister to vote?”; “her eyes... where do I buy eyes like that?”; “hey Ru it's Juju are you there? are you still gonna make us vote?”; “surprise! you gotta take a pink pill and a shot in the butt”; “I would wear it to the supermarket and shop for canned beans”. Juju's confessionals served stoner thoughts energy and I was living for it. I mean, she'd ramble about her cats while choosing a lipstick. She showed her cat pics in confessional at one point. She darted her eyes back and forth during the Cracker/Blair conflict and called it hot. She started a pillow fight at the final 3. She wanted an Alaskan themed hotel. And she fussed over not getting an India note. But on a serious note, Juju's sobriety story was a nice moment. And she came off perceptive. In the competition: Maybe it's just me, but Juju should've pulled a Ben/Manila. She was my fave in the Reading challenge. Her Talent Show singing was passionate. Her “I'm In Love” verse was smooth. She 1000% won the hotel challenge – the grandma mentions, the live mosquitoes, the "exotic" fruit. Her and Cracker were the only good ones in “SheMZ” (the Laganja pic!) She was hilarious as Eartha Kitt in Snatch Game (“sensually walk to the thermostat”; “... pick my cuz I love you”; “I am convincing you”). She had my favourite country cousin character (“Amberrrr”) but the watermelon outfit cost her the win. I didn't think her stand-up was that bad either; it was just the shoulders joke that didn't land. Her “Clap Back” verse felt generic and lacked bite though. And her “Juice” lip sync was disappointing for someone who survived 5 lip syncs previously. My fave Juju runways were the skin one, the prom queen, the freak, and her finale outfit. Favourite entrance look: Ongina Challenge ranking: 1. “I'm In Love” Girl Groups 2. Snatch Game Of Love 3. Talent Show 4. Backyard Ball 5. Stand-up routine 6. “Clap Back” (Ru-mix) (Shea > Cracker > Jujubee) 7. Hotel design (nearly fell asleep) 8. “SheMZ” (Improv) Lip Sync ranking: 1. India Ferrah vs Yvie Oddly ("Livin La Vida Loca") (Yvie is insane) 2. Miz Cracker vs Morgan McMichaels ("Where Have You Been") 3. Shea Couleé vs Alyssa Edwards ("Neutron Dance") (Shea was solid/Alyssa could've done more) 4. Top 3 Lip Sync ("Make Me Feel") 5. Miz Cracker vs Roxxxy Andrews ("One Last Time") (Roxxxy's reveal is the only memorable part and it didn't even match the lyrics) 6. Shea Couleé vs Vanessa Vanjie Mateo ("Open Your Heart") (Shea underwhelming/Vanjie shaking too much /cool camera work though) 7. Jujubee vs Monét X Change ("Juice") 8. Miz Cracker vs Kennedy Davenport ("Fancy") Those last 3 are all pretty boring. While the first 3 are the only ones where everyone involved was trying... Season ranking so far: 9 > 5 > 6 > 11 > AS2 > 4 > 10 > 2 > 7 > AS3 > AS4 > 3 > 8 > 12 > 1 > AS5 > AS1

[3rdbogwitch2theleft]

Watching The Rings of Power So You Don’t Have To - Episode 2

Welcome back to another episode of “Watching The Rings of Power So You Don’t Have To” where I sit through 8 hours of television to answer the question nobody asked “Is this show fun if you know who Sauron is the whole time?” 

I wrote out a whole recap complete with gifs, but it was so long and literally no one is asking for that. So here’s 10 notable things from episode 2.

1. I like the hobbits and Amnesia Gandalf story. Even though he is (fairly obviously) Gandalf, the juxtaposition of the sweet interactions between him and our plucky teen hobbits and the somewhat ominous way his powers seem to work creates a pretty compelling story. A story that I wish wasn’t sandwiched between all the other storylines in this show.

2. The characterization in episode 2 is a massive improvement from episode 1. A significant number of the characters actually relate to one another and their interactions have stakes.

Durin & Disa, Durin & Elrond (You missed his wedding, Elrond! Bad friend!), Poppy & Nori, Nori & Gandalf, Nori & her family, Galadriel and Dollar Store Aragorn aka Halbrand aka Sauron. Gal finally comes alive and we see on screen some of that passion that’s been prompting her to chase Sauron for 1000 years

3. HIRE INTIMACY CHOREOGRAPHERS. Some minor changes to the blocking could fix the Bronwyn x Arondir romance. It’s truly baffling how they are missing the ball here

4. Bronwyn finds her hometown in ruins and has no energy about it. She knows and loves the people who live there, she’s in this demolished house and she knows its occupants by name, but there’s no sense of urgency. What?? Just calmly saying “no bodies, no wounded” like she’s saying “no eggs at the market today” 

Why would you tell us this is the village she was born in if it doesn’t matter to her at all?

She and her son do kill an orc later in the episode though and that’s fun. 

5. ^This shot slaps

6.  The stage-y Scottish accents for all the Dwarves combined with the stage-y Irish accents for the Hobbits is... certainly a choice

7. Could be gayer all around. Even the ways the source material plays with gender (Elf men have long hair, Dwarf women have beards) have been removed. 

8. Can they Sauron? Can they?

I feel like I can hear the writers giggling. And know what? I’ll give them this one. This is not subtle but it is genuinely funny (to me).

9. Music. Truly wild music. 

Here is what I mean. 

On the raft there’s a bad storm. The remains of the mast Gal tied herself to is struck by lightning and she starts sinking to the bottom of the sea. Her theme places as she sinks. Discount Aragorn aka Halbrand aka Sauron dives in after her and as he’s coming down the Southlands them starts to play. Their themes sort of blend together and then once they both surface the theme changes to include triumphant horns.

So, I think, what they meant to do is say “these two are connected and he is the king of the Southlands” musically. Their themes play together, sure makes sense. And adding triumphant horns to a theme makes it sound heroic and/or kingly. (If you’re ever like “why do horns do that tho?” this video explains that pretty well.) But that’s not all the themes are saying. Again the Southlands theme plays most over the elf x human love story. They are explicitly (though maybe accidentally???) connecting these two stories. We’re already primed to see warrior princess elf and scruffy displayed “king” and go “Aragorn and Arwen”. This is by design and clearly part of the deeply cynical checklist of things they brought over from the Peter Jackson films. But, and I cannot stress this enough, he is SAURON. Just WILD.

10. The camera is loud. 

It really really wants to tell you Halbrand is important. It will not let you forget. 

So.

Is this show fun if you know who Sauron is the whole time?

So far, yeah, it gives me a chuckle. Though some of the creative choices do bring out my inner Benoit Blanc 

#bogwitch watches #long text post #flashing gif