#literally made me hate myself so fucking much for just being a trans guy

[acldwash]

Unfollowing accounts that constantly shit on trans guys even if i agree with other aspects of their politics was the best thing i could do for myself on this app. It also greatly improved my mental health in regards to my identity as a trans person. Seeing like constant trans guy hate was really wearing me down...

#literally made me hate myself so fucking much for just being a trans guy #like ive been really horribly physically abused in a reltionship and to come on here and read about how trans men are just evil abusive #monsters all the time while also extremely suicidal was definitely not helping my mental health #it felt like every part of my life was telling me killing myself would make the world better for everyone #and it genuinely felt if i killed myself the people i saw saying that sort of stuff would probably find it funny or laugh about it

[polyamorouspunk]

Fully agree with you on the trans thing. It’s something I struggled with for a LONG time that I didnt *want* to be fully 100% trans. Like I fit in with trans people, I was transmasc, but I never felt *trans*. If that makes any sense??

People used to tell me all the time that I had to be trans if I checked xyz boxes. And I hated it. Now, years later, I’ve made it to a point that I just *am*. And it took me SO LONG to realize that was even an option. To just be myself without putting a label on it. I dont need to be fully cis or fully trans. Im just a little bit of everything and fully me.

It still confuses my queer friends. That I just *do not* care and dont put any importance on it. So its nice to see someone else with that opinion. Thank you

Yes!

Listen like I do not care if people reblog my posts and disagree with me. Like that’s you’re right as an individual. But what I don’t like is when I make a post talking about my identity and someone “corrects” me on it.

The problem with the push to be super inclusive, sometimes, is that people stop making it about who *wants* to be a part and who doesn’t.

I know people who are gay men who have 0 interest in being part of the LGBTQ+ community. Gay men who are like I’m not queer I’m not part of the community I’m just gay but I’m not identifying with the community in any way.

I know people who have described their “gender” to me almost verbatim the way that trans people have described to me their gender and have told me they do not consider themselves trans in any way, and it kind of sucks because I’m like… I know that if I were someone else they might put that label on that person even if that person doesn’t want it?

I’ve had people ON THIS BLOG send me asks telling me I am not trans and other people send me asks saying I’m not cis. Like lmao it’s so fucking funny pick one you guys. I gotta be one or the other- SIKE no I don’t. I’ve had people dump me over saying “I’m both cis and trans” which in hindsight seems kinda ableist because that was actually when I started IDing as plural so like. The idea you can’t be both is like. You know there are people with different experiences than you right. Like some common enough to be in textbooks. Not like some “out there” concepts like if you can grasp the concept of DID you can understand how perhaps to some degree a person can be different than their literal AGAB without being trans. Just for one example.

Sometimes I also fail to realize this but. When you reblog someone’s post, or comment on it, or send them an ask, etc… you are coming into THEIR space. I mean it very much went through my mind to be like “just ignore it” but I was like someone is coming onto MY post where I try and validate MY gender experiences and telling me people like ME are quite literally exactly what I’m talking about where I’m like actually I’m valid if I’m a little trans and outright saying “YOU AREN’T A LITTLE TRANS UWU” like. Hi it’s you you’re the problem you’re the people I’m validating myself to. Like I don’t care how politely and nicely you try and dress it up with inclusive language do not put me into a box I do not want to be put in because you think “that I have to be trans because I check xyz boxes” yeah literally. I know fully cis people who check “xyz boxes” and I ain’t out here telling them that actually they’re trans and valid for it. Like bro if you tell me you’re cis who am I to disagree.

In the near future you’ll never hear the words “I’m transgender” come out of my mouth directly. I might post it on here or say irl that I “dabble in transgenderism” but I do not outright say irl in person that I am transgender not because I’m “dealing with internalized transphobia” and “not ready to fully accept myself to be transgender in the real world instead of just offline” like no I just don’t ID as “transgender” period. Or you know what maybe I am but also who are you to say that’s what I am? How are you helping exactly? How is acting like I can’t “really accept myself for who I truly am” helping me any? Idk. Just because you have good intentions doesn’t make it better than the people who have bad intentions. Both are issues. Both are problematic.

Learn to go “actually it’s not my fucking business if someone is trans or cis or neither” and “they can call themselves whatever they want” and that includes NOT wanting to be included.

#bro like even Nimona says in the movie ‘I’m not a girl I’m just Nimona’ #like I’m not a transgender person I’m just me #punk gets mail #personal

[bisexualseraphim]

Alright fine I’m gonna speak my mind.

My cis followers, listen up:

Being attracted to trans people is not inherently a fetish. The way you speak about trans people CAN be fetishistic, but 99% of the time when I see cis people calling out trans fetishism it’s literally just. Someone being really horny for a trans person. That’s not inherently fetishistic.

Sorry but it actually hurts me a little when I see cis people claim that a content creator is being fetishistic for drawing a trans guy with tits and a pussy, or for writing smut where a trans guy really enjoys using his pussy for sex, or God forbid said trans guy is fem. Trans people like that exist, you know. I myself have a pussy and fuck yes do I want people I’m in a relationship with to be attracted to it. And the same goes for many transfemmes who keep their natal parts, especially butch transfemmes.

Trans people are not a monolith. We don’t all hate our bodies or experience dysphoria or express our genders the same way. I swear to God cis people are all “allies” until a trans man is fem or a trans woman is butch or an enby isn’t androgynous or we actually enjoy our bodies or we have a kink or sexual fetish you don’t like.

Cis people: I know your hearts are in the right place and I appreciate that, but spouting “oh this content is fetishistic and Bad because trans men NEVER like their vaginas and are NEVER feminine” (or something equal to other trans people) is seriously not the allyship you think it is.

There is absolutely a conversation to be had about fetishising trans people — chasers in particular — but it’s quite a bit less black and white than hating certain FICTIONAL portrayals of trans people because these types of trans people exist in real life and we can see what you say about us.

I love my dick and my pussy (because I have both — are you aware we can have both?) but I saw a post today by someone I really like that actually made me feel kind of shit about myself because it was a cis person essentially saying that smut that describes my genitals in any particularly horny light is fetishistic and that really kind of hurt me. It made me feel like people think I’m undesirable due to my body only it was said in some backwards attempt to be an ally which is almost worse than deliberate transphobia lol.

I guess my point is: not all trans people’s feelings and experiences are universal. Call out obvious transphobia when you see it, yes, but please stop speaking for us about complex situations you just can’t fully understand unless you’re trans. Trans identities and experiences can be so much more complicated than what mainstream celebrities and articles will tell you and I just really need cis people to stop behaving as though the issues we face are a quick and easy fix. It never is. Sometimes the best allyship is to listen to how WE feel and take it into consideration instead of saying whatever you think we want you to say — because a lot of the time, we don’t.

#Sorry for popping off but that really upset me and I had to say something #I don’t usually speak up about things like this because so many cis people just can’t take a criticism to save their lives #Also I know some trans people WOULD find the things I mentioned fetishistic but that’s part of my point #Is that we all experience and feel different things and don’t all have the same beliefs #And implying it’s inherently fetishistic to be attracted to us harms way more trans people than not #Also transmeds and truscum please stay away from me you’re part of the problem 💜 #Hope at least one cis person sees this and does some reflection #long post #text post #trans #transgender #transphobia #trans nsft #trans ally #trans discourse #trans men are men #trans women are women #enby #nonbinary #intersex #gender essentialism #bioessentialism #gender roles #gnc #gender nonconforming #rant #vent #nsft

[a-faggot-with-opinions]

finding out the trans guy who made the mlm flag got (falsely) accused of being a rapist just because the flag looks kind like the lesbian flag (i mean the 7 and 5 stripe ones not the 6 stripe ones he also made) just makes me so depressed. I know if a cis guy made it that it wouldn't get half of the shit that it does.

seeing people repeatedly make jabs at trans men who like boys, calling us shit like "microseparatist gayboys" and tearing down anything that gets made by us or associated with us.... I love my other trans friends but sometimes i do wish there was a space where i could just be around other transmascs where I won't have to see us being falsely accused of rape for making some stripes in a row right next to people who say we don't face things like predator accusations...

I don't feel safe in my "community" anymore and it's breaking my heart. I was so excited to be out when I was 13 and now in my mid 20s I find myself wishing I was anything but what I am. Sometimes I want to look at these people and go "tell me where this alleged 'separatist' group is and I'll go there and stop 'tainting' your community with my transition". Even my love for other trans men is warped and demonized (because it couldn't be pure, it has to be somehow evil) or mocked as "pussy4pussy" (i'm meta4phallo)

Sorry for essentially venting in your inbox but reading those anons who are scared of being out in their own community and especially the anon who socially detransitioned because of "community" abuse/mistreatment. I'm so scared of that becoming my future and I really can't find any solution to it. I just want us all to be ok

Never apologize for venting in my inbox, or sending me a long ask about bad things. The more that transandrophobia can be documented, the less it can be ignored, and the worse its deniers will look. Thank you so much for sending me this, kind anon! (Under the cut there will be a short summary of a personal experience I had regarding sexual harassment, so if you don't want to see that, scroll past this post.)

Transandrophobia is rampant in gay communities, and homophobia + transandrophobia combined is horrible in the queer community at large. I've had multiple people lie about me, and while I've never been falsely accused of sexual harassment or assault, I have been accused of stalking and harassed over it, I've had people publicly speculate about my fetishes in front of me where I could see, with people defending the people doing that because the fetishes I "admitted" (fake screenshots) to "having" were "problematic."

Apparently that is okay to do now, because we're men and because we "chose" to be men that means we must be okay with being sexually harassed... (sarcasm)

Here's the thing. I've never heard the term "gayboy" used for a cis man, while it's used for trans men of all different ages, and while it's not inherently the most offensive term ever, its usage is infantilizing trans men and painting us as "gay man lite." We are not gay men lite, we are gay men. Them calling us separatists is really fucking weird because there are literally homosexual male separatists. They are called biphobic transphobic gay men and you can look them up here on Tumblr and find their blogs with hundreds of followers.

I wish I could crawl through the screen and punch those people who claim that false predator accusations are a transfem-only issue, because I've had it happen to me and so many other trans guys have had it happen to them too. Painting trans men as being predatory like a marginalized man stereotype and also a female invader into maleness at the same time is a very central piece of TEHM rhetoric and anyone who ignores that should be ashamed of themselves, because ignoring and erasing that such oppression exists is also a core piece of TEHM and also TERF rhetoric.

Every day I'm getting closer and closer to actually becoming a gay trans man separatist. Jesus fucking Christ. The rest of the world hates us and the rest of the queer community hates us too, and while I think that getting the queer community to unlearn their transphobia against us is important, I also think it is vital for us to have our own spaces to talk about our experiences without someone interrupting every 5 seconds saying "what about trans women?"

#asks #examples of transandrophobia #long post #transandrophobia #homophobia

[desudog]

wait you HATED sweet pool omg. its my least fave out of the n+c releases ive read so far mainly for how flat the characters felt to me and how clumsy a lot of the plot felt but i rlly loved the aesthetic/general vibe it had so thats rlly interesting to me,if ur up for it id love to know what didnt click for u ^_^

when i judge how bad a VN is with my brother (avid VN reader as well) we use Sweet Pool as a basically "zero" on the scale of professional, large VNs.

Sweet Pool's writing was WEIRD. I can do some weird, thats fine. Weird ass-birth stillborn meatslugs? ... okay, ill... look past that. ok i wont lie, the constant ass-birth was hard for me. i really did try to not judge it on that but like, there was almost constant buttbirth going on. ive made peace with this by now, kinda making a link to myself about the connections of it to being an unintentional trans narrative in many ways and all but like. it was WEIRD. and kinda hard to read. it didnt strike me as horror, it struck me as "weird fetish i have to sit through. oh my god is he licking tha- PUT IT DOWN Z-DAWG. Ok christ."

The characters were also weird. I laughed out loud in surprise at how stupid the "i saved you from being raped <3 SO I CAN RAPE YOU, PSYCH!" scene was. like wtf was that??????

(I hope you werent planning on USING that butthole, mister!)

i did not enjoy the art style, i think its the ugliest N+C art style yet and since. not my thing. many angles and proportions look weird. the CGs looked stiff and uninspired. it NEVER grew on me. no shade to people who liked it or the artist it just.. wasnt my thing. not unbearable but just. not. as good as it could have been and def took away from the experience.

i didnt like any of the endings. it wasnt scary it was weird. the pacing was weird. for being a BL, it had very little love just... wtf. and im so sad abt what they did to mikoto bc i liked him before uuuUuUuUu yandere plot twwwwist. bleh.... dollar store keisuke! they would FORCE the true end so you maybe go, "maybe the true end is satisfying and good an-" no. its not. fuck yoU!

sweet pool was painful. i dont know how else to put my experience. i 100%d it because i 100% everything when i can, and i was literally pushing through like a hiker in a snow storm to finish it. every 3 seconds was secondhand embarrassment. the "jerking off in the classroom" scene comes to mind. i got up and took a break for that one because it was just unbearable. idk how anyone could slap one out to this vn. im not sure if anyone ever has. which makes the sex weird. actually, i dont think there was a single consensual ero scene unless u count the true end fusion scene.

(proof god does not love us)

the aesthetic/vibe was... ehhh... not super unique IMO. school setting immediately put me off, a more gritty and cool toned, dark palate made things interesting but, its still a "weird thing happens in high school" story. kinda bored to death of HS settings in VNs.

i did like the protag tho! he was interesting and it was nice having a chronically ill protag even if it was just a plot device to make him be able to miss school while going on a... dark apartment birth marathon.

sweet pool felt like a bizarre, amateur fanfiction for a fetish i dont have.

the soundtrack is very memorable as well as the opening pre-game sequence, i liked the concept of the choice button meanings, but they were very rough in actual use.

this is my favorite CG i appreciate the aquarium set up instead of a fish bowl (though he could do better...)

(shame about them turning into meat popcorn tho...)

i liked the iguana lol

i didnt care about these guys so much i dont even remember their names most of the time. except zenya. i liked him cus hes so cute and batshit crazy and has intersex swag.

(does this shade match my festering flesheye?)

all in all?

i give sweet pool a 2/10 butt babies.

--------- CONS:

no shortage of buttbirth stuff

seems to have lost the "love" in "BL".

some characters arent even original... FROM THEIR OWN STUDIO.

boring, hard to follow story

character focus on a character who has no personality. this guy is the gijinka of the hair that gathers at the drain of your shower.

designs that just are not very memorable or unique, without the personality to work with

story has routes but none of them were thought much of, should have just been a kinetic

confusing choice buttons

WAY too many choices for a VN with 3 candidates. makes 100%ing a drag.

predictable story

----------

PROS:

no shortage of buttbirth stuff, i mean, if youre into that

a soundtrack that makes up for the lack of good ero because this OST FUCKS

still a better love story than twilight

-----------

note: i read it in offical ENG, so i was no doubt getting a lower quality version. i dont think the original text would have helped getting it more than a single grade higher.

[calpalsworld]

So the behind the scenes for Pizza Tower is literally the worst. The creator is literally the worst. If i was in the same room as someone like this I would probably become a killer. Other fans have already said their opinions, basically "I get why people like the game but I can't engage with it anymore" etc. That's pretty much how I'm feeling. I feel disgusted and betrayed and it hurts to remember something I like about the game, and then remember it was made by these dangerous people. Maybe at some point if I do get the urge to draw the characters again, maybe I'll put a huge DNI banner that says "fuck bigots die mcpig" or something. But I need a bit to think about if thats a good decision or not... I feel like its not... On one hand I want to say "I'm gonna take the good parts of this game and make it what the creator hates" but I also have no clue if thats a good idea, and I need a while to think about it.

One BIG THING I'm asking of everyone, and I may make another post asking this question later, is does anyone know any Pizza Tower alternatives??? Any media that is cartoony and simple and crazy and well animated? I really wish I could find something that had the things I liked in Pizza Tower. Please comment or send me an ask if you have any suggestions.

Anyway heres some PERSONAL thoughts that are NOT as important:

I feel disappointed in myself for noticing problematic character designs from the start and convincing myself that maybe the bigotry was unintentional, that it was just a negative side effect of being inspired by other (bigoted) things. It was obviously not. I should've known it was intentional.

A lot of people have been saying "Pizza Tower being problematic was obvious due to the art style," which is partially true, but at the same time that makes me really sad. My first exposure to the game was my friend saying "this looks like something you would make!" And I've been fucking obsessed with the art style ever since. For those who don't know, I used to be an exclusively "shitpost" artist, which I REALLY enjoyed, and art college has made me more and more corporate. So sadly.... Pizza Tower made me feel connected to how I used to draw and create art. I was really happy to see such a creative and unconventional art style that is like my own thriving with popularity, and I liked to imagine that maybe the creator was similar to me (he is not). Lately I've started saying "I'm not gonna make sanitized art anymore I'm gonna only make crazy stuff" and yeah that was literally because of... Pizza Tower.... which has been revealed to be made by the worst people ever.... (so yeah lmk if you guys have any recommended alternatives).

Last thing is I think it has been cool how Peppino has become an iconic ass trans-headcanoned character for a lot of tumblr. So I guess thats the reason why I most likely won't judge anyone for drawing Pizza Tower. We got something awesome going that was our own thing. But you have to remember McPig is also a racist, and trans headcanons don't do anything to fight against that.

I just hope the people who will continue to draw art to spite McPig's intentions openly acknowledge how fucked up the game's creation is, and don't promote the game. If you continue being a Pizza Tower fan please at least be self-aware and adamantly against the creator. Like post a link to pirate the game along with every time you post art of it or something to counteract your inherent promotion of the game, idk. Don't let bigots get away with being popular. That is dangerous.

TLDR:;

No more Pizza Tower for me, at least for a while, if I do ever post something Pizza Tower-related again it will be staunchly anti-Pizza Tower. Someday, I hope to create something like fun and silly like Pizza Tower, but antifascist. Also, new hyperfixation recommendations that are similar to Pizza Tower strongly encouraged, thank you!

#pizza tower

[boxwinebaddie]

FLASHBACKS R UNDERRATED 🗣🗣‼️‼️ I swear I can't be the only one who ADORES the flashbacks they're so good never apologise for a good juicy flashback

As a ( failing ) trans man who has not come out to his own dad ( I hate that word ) who he also has a complicated but non-existent relationship with I cannot express how much this means to me

I would also love to learn more about my own culture as I am a quarter Mexican through my dad but there's limited family from him in Canada 2/3 of which have sadly passed

Stan also means a lot to me and I rgehrhjejr. The way you portray him just. makes me so happy!! Your writing has genuinely done so much for me as I am quite literally Stan Marsh and trans masc Stan makes me so so sooooo happy. He's annoying as fuck, most definitely has an ugly tea kettle laugh, but is pure in heart and I can resonate with that ( heavy on the laugh )

I hyh from all the poor things that have come your way and I will fight that infection myself!! Fists up!! And Not only your body but your heart because break ups SUCK

-Stan 🧡( my tablet doesn't have the orange heart but Tumblr is very annoying to copy paste things 💔💔 )

orange heart stanon,

okay, please don't laugh at me, but...this literally made me cry??? help??? oh my god??? what my fanfiction means to you, this message means to me, words cannot express how absolutely lovely you are, my dearest darling. <3 :'}

but i am going to get stern with you for a moment because you are not, in any way shape or form, a failure.

take that that thought and *stan marsh vc* recycle it, baby!

( sorry this got very long; you know how i am....smh )

not being out to a parent or anyone else in your life does not diminish the validity of your identity and there are several reasons why coming out to someone in your life may not always be the right choice at any given time ( namely for comfort and safety reasons. )

really, i find it can be terribly cruel that members of the lgbtq community have to put themselves in danger/discomfort in order to be seen and heard by the rest of the world when cis and straight people just get to go about their business...smh.

with that said! coming out is not easy! i weave a lot of my experiences into my stories to make them real and ( if you can recall ) pep!stan was extremely nervous to come out to randy and had to take a xanax and i also had to do that after i asked my girl best friend to prom. i was extremely incoherent and don't remember how that went ( i sang, apparently? which is why stan also sang? ) but my dad and my mom were, thankfully, very supportive of me. <33

but thats not always the case! sometimes you don't always have that support system! and gender dysphoria can be awful enough without having it triggered by the prodding of parents or family members fanning the flames on facebook!!! please rem(ember):

YOU DO NOT OWE ANYONE ANYTHING.

you owe the world dust. you don't owe the world or anyone in it a goddamn thing. you are who you are regardless of whether or not other people choose to acknowledge it. you are who you are regardless of who you share yourself with. you are who you are.

and in my ask box, on my tumblr, in my life and in my heart: you are seen, loved, valued and protected. you are safe here, my angel.

so do not ever call yourself a failure, even as a joke, because you have done nothing but make me extremely proud of you. <3

( also if it helps, stan calls randy "bother" instead of father and "bad" instead of dad...sometimes i use "parental" or "that guy" haha. i think what most men fail to realize is that being a man with a child does not automatically make you a father...its not a right its a privilege. )

and i am glad that you are curious about your heritage!

( side bar, very excited to see you have some roots in canada! not because i have anything to do with canada but because...rm!stan fkn loves canada aka the homeland of stans first bf wayne gretsky, fireball, the drink of fall scented boyfailure alcoholics everywhere and ike broflovski, who is in next chapter! )

it can be kind of a can of worms to open sometimes, but i think if anyone was going to learn about yourself, it should be you right? i'd follow that paper trail as far back as it goes, watch tiktok videos, make meaningful connections with family members or people who you trust and have fun going out with lanterns and finding yourself.

ok this part is the part that made me.... :''''''} wheeeew!

i cannot tell you how much it means to me that you resonate with stan ( which, as i told lowercase/in love stan, was a wonderful thing because of how lovely he is ) because he is really very special to me.

all of my stans are very precious to me and my favorite character to write because of all his really beautiful complexities and introspections. i think it takes a lot of courage to be so sad and struggle so much and still smile. hes extremely strong for that.

however, rm!ravenstan specifically means a lot to me because...i was not sure how people would react to him. other than the plot of rm being crazy, writing a poc transmasc stan was kind of a risky thing to do because i was very worried about misportraying him or not doing justice by his identity/the identities of my readers so...

the fact that you can find parts of yourself in him is wonderful to me.

( getting all the positive imput about my characterization from actual trans, latinx and specifically trans latinx people is so so precious to me because, while i am not trans ( or latinx, though, i am half filipino on my mothers side ) i watched my dearest guy friend transition over the course of multiple years very closely, did extensive research, worked with a lot of trans students and did my best to listen to my heart and soul and write an accurate portrayal of collected experiences...aka ravenstan...who i daresay is my favorite character

i am very excited you guys get to see more of him by the way! aaa )

also unfortunately, he is so lovely that i did have to make him annoying to balance that out so he is super fucking annoying. also i love his terrible laugh oh my god. if you have time to make your laugh sound good are you really laughing tbh? a bad laugh is a good laugh.

thank you for your kind words my friend! i am attempting to hold down the fort here both emotionally and physically. and to be honest, i am more annoyed about my body fucking up on me than my relationship failing, to tell you the truth. this is my evil era.

( as you can tell, between my tears, that i am so evil and cruel and angry and do not want to smush your cheeks haha <333 )

but! fear not! i, like stanley marsh in both my ninaverses, are unkillable and like all my kyles, am bat shit insane! i will live or haunt all of your beyond the grave.

before i go, please be kind to yourself, orange heart stanon. do not punish yourself for the feelings of others. live unapologetically. you have come so much further than you realize and i can't wait to see where you end up.

-proud father figure uncle nina

edit: WAIT I FORGOT TO TALK ABOUT THE FLASHBACKS!!!! thank you SO MUCH!!! i love the flashbacks! like i know that people want plot progression but might i argue that they actually...are plot progression even if we are going backwards in time? like just in that one chapter alone, you all got to learn more about ravenstan than in all of those three chapters??? which!!!! is so fun!!! aaaa

also i think it just gives important content to stan and kyles prior relationship and the flashbacks are a way of me showing you guys just how much love they have for each other like...barring any chaos that's happening in the plot, i can throw you guys a flashback and it can be lovely an the boys can be lovely in it.

( which is nice considering in both my fanfics the boys are either fighting, dont like eachother or one of them is DEAD??? )

also the flashbacks are my favorite to write because i can be weird and creative with the lore. i get worried about them because theyre not totally canon compliant but theyre actually the part of my fics people like the best!!! like hyh was a flashback!!!! and actually everything up until stan wakes up after tolkiens party was a flashback technically...i think?

ALSO THIS CHAPTER IDK SOMETHING ABOUT THAT HOCKEY PUCK FLASHBACK I WAS OBSESSED WITH just bc it was like??? such a profound act of love like it was something that would have ruined kyles life that stan did in five seconds and would do again!!!! like almost permanently disfigured him but it was worth it </333

anyways, a lot of the backstory from rm is in flashbacks so i am attempting to weave them in and figure out how to do that ALSO WHENEVER I DROP PEP 12 a flashback i love is in there aaaaa.

-uncle nina....rambling again smh i love flashbacks

#im sorry this got so long #this seriously touched my heart #you are so brave and strong and good and wonderful #seriously you owe the world dust #and im really glad stan means so much to you #he is so dear and precious to me #and i write him with a lot of integrity and pain and love and emotion and im glad it comes across #i love writing stan sm hes just soooooo hes so interesting #but be kind to yourself my angel #thank you for gracing my inbox

[tiredjams]

More T4T Alenoah since people actually seemed to like the last one! :3

Okay so when I said Alejandro had been pretty sure Noah was also trans from the beginning I mean apart from just ; ✨vibes✨, this happened on the way to Japan ;

Noah desperately hiding behind his teammates to avoid Harold and more of their plane facts (Harold thinks they’re friends. Noah does not.) and he’s like ; “THANKGOD they’re gone. Harold’s actually so fucking annoying I will literally kill myself if I have to so much as breathe the same air as them again.” And then Izzy was like ; “oh haha yeah no that guys actually so weird and ! I’m like- so surprised he hasn’t gotten thrown out of the plane yet!”

And then Noah just looks at her super weird and is like ; “Izzy, Harold actually made a twitter post last month saying they prefer they/them pronouns and are more comfortable with androgynous language, at least when we’re not filming, or when talking to the producers” (Harold is non binary and definitely writes think pieces on gender and why we need to break free from these concepts I DARE YOU TO FIGHT ME ON THIS IM PREPARED)

And Izzy is just like ; “oh haha okay theyre so quirky! Anyways like I said; you literally hate them, im surprised they haven’t gotten thrown out of the plane already lol”

And then Noah immediately went back to talking shit (while using Harold’s correct pronouns). And like when Tyler asked Noah’s just like ; “oh, no I don’t respect Harold remotely, I despise them and wish them misery and misfortune and if I never had to hear their voice again it would be too soon. …. But I’ll still respect their pronouns, duh.”

Alejandro was just in the corner like ; 😳. (When he’s a sarcastic know it all but understands disliking someone is no excuse to misgender them >>)

Also cause alenoah friendship REALLY started when they were leaving Egypt and Gwen made a bi joke (which Cody’s obnoxious bisexual ass ADORED btw) Sierra was like ; “oh haha I personally am ✨🥰cOdYsExuAl😚✨” and then Noah from the corner was just like ;

“More like embarrassing. And a lesbian suffering from comp het. But whatever, you’re not ready for THAT conversation.”

And when everyone else was frozen in shock you already KNOW Alejandro was stifling CACKLES. He was also the only reason Sierra didn’t beat Noah up for saying that (he used his big muscles as a shield Les gooo) and whispered to Noah so no one could hear ;

“They hated him, for he spoke the truth 😌” Noah choked.

And then they were friends! C’mon. We see them in the background talking and laughing with each other WAAAY too much for me to buy that they weren’t friendly.

Personally I’m convinced the reason we didn’t get more alenoah interaction was because they were talking a lot about trans solidarity and being obviously in love with eachother, and this queer phobic show just couldn’t handle that smh

(Yes I am insufferable about them thanks for asking!) okay so Noah was taking his testosterone pills one day after he dropped the singing comment and confirmed it, when Alejandro was just like ; oh yeah! I actually used to take the shots lol, switched to patches while on the show” and Noah was like ; “BRO WHY????”

Cause WHY WOULD YOU PUT YOURSELF THROUGH THAT??? (The answer is because Alejandro has issues) but anyways it lead to Noah bringing Heather into the argument so she could help him tell Alejandro ; ?!? No I don’t take my hormones through shots??! I’m waaaay too hot to suffer like that”

Anyways Alejandro and Noah totally just spent that first half of the season bonding over trans masc stuff.

Like Alejandro spent SO much time complaining about how his sweat used to smell like flowers, and how he definetly doesn’t miss the dysphoria but he does miss that.

Noah’s like ; yeah I actually kept some of my skirts because they’re waaaaay more comfortable than pants, but I don’t wear them outside cause then people wanna be queerphobic! Like yeah I’m a guy in a skirt, deal with it.

And they bonded over how they understand misogyny and rape culture in a way cis men really NEED to. And talk about all the male privledge they’ve noticed they’ve gotten (they got overheard and caused several debates on gender theory and politics between contestants that was pretty eye opening for some of them)

Anyways London happens and Alejandro has to get his trans homie eliminated cause he knows too much yeah yeah. So these two were still being petty and bitter, but this definitely happened after the wedding challenge ;

Alejandro and Courtney were debating about which dress had been the best, which then sparked a debate between all remaining contestants on masculinity and stuff:

And in the end Alejandro gets fed up; leaves, AND THEN COMES BACK IN THE V NECK WEDDING DRESS, looking hot AF (just look at slipper slopes fanart if you want a visual) and turns to Duncan, strokijg his soul patch and smirking like ; really chico? dresses make me any less of a man?? then why am i still far more one than YOU.

duncan contemplated on his actions and sexuality a lot that day. And then came away from the experience causing far less micro aggressions :3

And Noah totally saw because Chris definetly rehired him after his elimination (personally I believe he makes a point of firing Noah at least twice a week, it’s a thing at that point) and so he was helping the poor poor overworked (starved crazed desperate) interns in the editing room and was just like ;

Dammit you’re still a slimy eel who got me eliminated and I’m mad at you… but I would REALLY like to make out with you rn unfortunately , this sucks.

Oki! So I have more, and just more trans TD headcannons in general; but this is already a lot TwT lemme know if anyone else wants more.

#total drama #alenoah #total drama world tour #td alejandro #td noah #td heather #td duncan #td harold #td izzy #trans headcanon #td sierra

[sigilxprincess]

[This is a very personal post and absolutely (TRIGGER WARNING)]

When I think about it, I have this habit of turning very stressful things into an erotic form of itself. The first thing I ever did that with was spanking. Twisting the thought that instead, what if a stranger did that to me, and finding it had a pleasurable affect on me. From that I accidentally discovered how to orgasm and from then on I knew I wanted it to happen again and again.

Violent thoughts such as r@pe would really trigger me eventhough nothing like that ever happened to me. I'd get seething angry at the thought even to jokes about that subject. For years i felt violent when the subject came up, how could someone do that to someone? I had this thing where I felt no one would ever love me for how I am which you'll read more on later in this, and I became addicted to the thought of a girl wanting me so much maybe she would be pushy or even stalk me, follow me home type of ordeal just cuz she really wanted me. That's when I came across cnc and found that I actually really get turned on thinking of a girl doing that to me cuz she can't help herself but to have me...twisting the thoughts into something sickly but so sweet.

And this part is going to be very fucking controversial and I've literally never opened up about this because I know it's very triggering especially to trans people and I love and wanna protect the community, so if you read this and get mad I understand. I don't identify myself as Trans because I don't want any negative impact on the community.

So, as a child growing up I had horrible gender dysphoria. The earliest age I remember thinking myself the opposite gender was around 7. I wanted to be Dash from the incredibles for my birthday and my family told me that I could be the girl version and it didn't sit right with me but I was like sure I guess. I remember when puberty started I was very distressed about it, I remember crying every time I took a shower. I would pack with rolling toilet paper up into the shape. I hated people seeing me go in or out of the women's bathroom and I remember frowning at a woman for seeing me come out one day, cuz I had a thing where I didn't want the females especially to know that I was anatomically a girl, cuz then they wouldn't see me as a possible partner? It was weird. I remember at some point in 6th grade my friends said they'd stop being friends with me if I kept wearing masculine clothes and I broke down in front of everyone, it was embarrassing dude. I had this dysphoria and it followed me clear up to high-school when I fell in love with this girl I went to school with. She knew about what I was going through and yet she still wouldn't respect the pro-nouns, but she would still make me feel special and attractive. She triggered me several times and I let her know and she was trying to understand but I just don't think she could ever fully get it. It didn't stop me from liking her the way I did though and maybe that was dumb of me but being trans you feel like no one will ever love you or choose you so I forgave and tolerated her when she'd be disrespectful. In a way it felt like forced feminization the way she'd treat me cuz she made me feel pretty and I guess coming from her, I liked it because it felt like she loved me and I really liked her. She said I was the first "girl" she ever liked, not sure if it's because she didn't know yet but that she liked butch women and I was masculine presenting. I only had short hair and wore masculine clothes cuz that's the only way I felt comfortable. But she took to me and it mixed my head up and confused me cuz I never let anyone treat me like that. We were on and off again in our relationship cuz she kept choosing other guys over me, but then they'd hurt her and she'd come back. Anyways, that's not the point, we are no longer in contact because it got really ugly towards the end, we ended up getting into a poly, me, her and this guy and we actually did move into a place in NM, it ended horribly and we don't have contact and it will stay that way.

But today, and when I say this I'm only speaking for myself, I wouldn't do the gender transition even if I had the money cuz I'm only 4"11 and I could never comfortably live my life as a short petite man, I would just constantly feel immasculated making me feel worse..I do have absolute respect for the guys that do transition eventhough they are my size, any short many really.

I've come to a point where I really don't mind being a girl, there's nothing wrong with being a girl, and in fact I found that I can be the kind of girl I may be attracted to. So I can feel desirable and good about myself. I still feel masculine inside, I really do, but what's stopping me from being a masculine femme presenting girl? Or hell cut my hair short again and wear masc or femme clothes. I can do whatever the fuck I want, I think I owe it to myself anyways. It plays a part in turning stressful things into something more erotic and enjoyable, something that's mine alone. I do not identify with being trans because I dont want this to be another thing that people want to use to invalidate trangender people. Its so stupid, like just because some people go through a similar or different experience than people that go through the surgeries or not cuz of money issues, doesn't mean trans people should be invalidated with things like laws and getting hated on even more in general. Like fuck just let people go through their journeys the way that feels natural, let people sit with the consequences that they made for themselves on their own journeys whether their happy with it or not, it's not something for people to control, it should be only ours to own.

So I'm sorry if this ever gets to someone that will get triggered by this, I don't want to hurt you, but this has just been my own personal experience with dealing with hurtful triggering things and warping them into something I can own as my own.

#vent #vent post #18+ only #trigger warning #trigger warning ed #trans trigger warning

[theophagie]

Hhhh I found myself in a Hell upon Earth situation with the psych today. "When I was little I was a tomboy, and for as long as I remember I've been getting into fights with my mother over my preference for masculinity, and even though this is something I only understood afterwards part of the misery I felt throughout my high school years was due to the fact that that was the only time I actively tried to fit in even though it only made me feel bad about myself" "I see. But you only began wearing men's clothes and cutting your hair after your father left right". BITCH!!!!!!!! What do you want me to say. Yes, because he finally fucked off during my last year of high school ie the environment where I was surrounded almost exclusively by girls and that made me feel like shit both about myself and about doing femininity wrong when I tried. The two things happened to happen at the same time, what do you want me to say about it. It doesn't cancel out literally every other year of my life!!!!! What he insinuated made me so mad, especially considering that I had just pulled myself together after the most embarrassing cry of my life because I tried to talk about how much I hate it that people feel entitled to comment on other people's bodies and looks. Ugh. Gender is a complicated topic and the tldr is that labels feel either like they don't apply or uncomfortable so I just put up with being seen as a cis woman, and with this in mind I can't even begin to imagine how a more in depth conversation would go...... Eg I don't think of myself as trans even though obviously I have a number of experiences and feelings in common with the Trans Experience, but the average person isn't going to respond with "hell yeah gender nonconformity and fuckery huge win for queer identities <3" if you tell them "I don't really like being thought of as a woman or having breasts, I like speaking in dialect because it allows me to switch from feminine to masculine to neutral without it being too clockable, I don't mind being mistaken for a guy, and sometimes I really really wish I had I dick" (and even then considering where I am it'd be a miracle if they even thought of being trans as an acceptable thing at all). *Timmy Turner's dad voice* the binary.............. So that's really frustrating, technically I go there to Talk About Things but I know that's there's no point in doing it when we're walking on completely parallel lines. There's even less of a point if you act like you're listening to me then try to reduce everything to daddy issues >_>

#unfortunately. it is what it is because 1) cheap 2) with the state of things in this country... finding someone decent when it comes to this #would be kind of. 😬 #(--_--) #mytext

[ghoooooooooooooooost]

i had to reread n edit this before posting like i was going over an essay jesus christ ((tristamp spoilers))

tldr; i was honestly disappointed but i still don't think it was completely awful + i hope if they do a 2nd season it's better *wants to see milly*.... fuck the director though

EDIT!!! 2nd season was confirmed so you can ignore the points where i question if it will happen lol

EDIT 2 actually idt i'll watch the 2nd season... for reasons that just hit me so.... + fuck night*w as well

most of this was written before the finale eek

the major problems were that the pacing was soooooo weird n some of the changes (both story wise and design wise) they made were questionable esp towards the latter half

my positive points:

i do still think individual eps at the first half were really good

i loved the animation + how they used colors

the backgrounds are cool

the artstyle shift in wolfwood's flashback was cool

i've always been "ok" abt vashwood honestly (sorry) but i will acknowledge they were very yaoiful here. i saw a person who didn't ship vashwood say the ep in tristamp where they literally just met made them ship it which was really funny bc how did that change your mind so fast

i'm ngl the milly + eriks name drops made me *JAWDROP* but that's something that only matters to ppl who watched/read the ogs first

my negative points (uh oh):

white washed wolfwood (+ his skintone is soo inconsistent in merch)

they gave vash no room to breathe n he doesn't get big sillay moments after ep 3

^ this is true for every character except i guess roberto? more on roberto later

^^^ goes with the previous too points but it felt like they were way too focused on the drama n sadness without enough (long lasting) happy or hopeful moments to contrast or balance it out overall - to the point were the characterization of our main cast suffered for it bc there wasn't enough there with them to make that properly work. and THEN the silly moments ended up suffering too bc they start feeling out of place. the drama beats kept happening one after the other at breakneck speed without breaks, messing up the pacing as well (i can kinda blame this at least partially on the fact they only had 12 eps when the og was 26 eps but i've watched plenty of 12 ep series with great pacing so i don't really know what happened here?)

i disagreed with this at first, but the lore with vash being front-loaded really did hurt the story a bit in the long run. obviously they did still spread the full details out over the course of the show but it was :\

specific to "the running man"- it's my fav ep tbh but it was strange how all the townsfolk were partying w the nebraskas with no indication they'd arrest them after they did so much damage n vash didn't even get to fix the damaged plant?? so why were they so joyous when the initial problem wasn't solved?

roberto.... was such a weird character... he managed to be both a dick n a guy w no personality, he was there to give exposition + attempt to be funny? n then die. also the marketing staff fucking hates him he's never in any merch wtf ((edited after the finale: well now we know he wasn't meant to replace milly (i had a whole paragraph complaining abt that lol) + now i feel like they added him just to kill someone other than wolfwood off))

i can't speak much on elendria bc i had so much trouble reading trimax forever ago that i never retained anything abt her other than she's trans, but everything involving her in tristamp felt strange/ like it didn't work. i have essentially same feeling about livio here. they threw legato to the side??

what the fuck was the thing with the plants towards the end. it just hit me what the hell

minor nitpicks:

i miss the old anime's ost :( tristamp's ost isn't bad by any means n there are tracks that i really like it's just idk man. especially with the the op song, i couldn't get myself to not skip the op SORRY. could you imagine how hype it would've been if a new rendition of H.T. or NO-BEAT started playing

i'm fine with stamp vash's design (blasphemous i know) but man would'n've one of his og coat designs worked well in 3d? i feel like it would've ((added after the finale: the new coat did look nice in black + they brought back his old hair in the last ep tho so. MAYBE... IN SEASON 2.... CLASSIC COAT....? *delusional*))

NO LOVE & PEACE?!?!?!?!

one of my nitpick points was that they technically didn't give vash the black hair bc i really wanna see it animated one day but assuming they are teasing a season 2 maybe they will eventually. but then how...?

#maybe my standards are too low after getting burnt by higurashi gou/sotsu idk #this post is long as hell also watch out #new vash thoughts #- da last one(?)

[trans-axolotl]

also been frustrated lately by an interaction I had lately. where someone said that because i didn't think transandrophobia was a useful label for organizing around or for trans men to understand our experiences. that they jumped to assuming i've never faced transphobia and made a bunch of claims about how i've obviously never faced transphobic violence like they had. when really it is facing transphobic violence that has made me feel like transandrophobia is a harmful label. i think it's so important for us in trans community to be able to build solidarity and understand how similar a lot of our experiences are regardless if we're intersex, transfem, transmasc, and understand the ways in which a lot of things we share, whether they r negative or positive, are things that we can share together and feel compassion towards each other about. we can share in trans joy that all of us are experiencing! and like the fact that i have been brutally assaulted for being trans is not an experience exclusive to one part of the trans community and it was healing for me to be able to just realize how much solidarity there was, and how much community i had of people who understood what it is like to face transphobia in that way. and fighting against structural transphobia requires us to actively build solidarity. i hate the idea of trying to separate our experiences off as trans men and saying that there are all these things that only we experience when in reality there are so, so many opporutunites for us to build solidarity and community. and i think that's what i see people using the label transandrophobia to do, is to separate us off and build this little guys club no women allowed where they act like their experiences could never be understood by anyone else. and what a loss that is. as opposed to transmisogyny which is used to describe the way being structurally oppressed in two facets combines to form a unique kind of oppression and also becomes something more than just like, either misogyny or transphobia experienced seperately, and also using transmisogyny to describe a particular kind of intracommunity violence that people are facing.

i think it would have been so harmful for my own healing as a trans person if i told myself that the only people who could possibly understand what it was like to be hate crimed for being trans were other trans men, and if i ignored the fact that there are so many trans men, women, nonbinary people, who can relate to my experiences. and that's literally all i see people using transandrophobia to do, is to say that their experiences with transphobia can only be understood by trans men. idk. also as an intersex person who understands how fucking painful intracommunity violence is and what it's like to exist as a trans person in a community full of people who have aspects of one type of privilege that i don't have, and living in community with trans people who will never experience a type of oppression that i live every day (intersexism), i also understand the value of having language to talk about that type of structural oppression when it's also true that there are people in my community who can discriminate and enact violence and that type of oppression on me.

so anyway. this is why i do not think transandrophobia is a good label personally and also like, all the fucking reasons why that i've seen my transfem friends and mutuals saying.

#personal #ask to tag #again not an authority and no one else has to think the way i do #but this is why i think the way i do

[dakotadawn]

Maybe my mom was right, maybe misandry made me trans.

Like, one of the reasons why I just can't bring myself to repress the urge to transition and just live a normal life as a guy is because I just hate what that entails so much. The thought of having male peer groups, being a man in the world, being subject to listening to how they talk about women. Male culture is just so disgusting. I can't imagine seriously living among them, being one of them. I could never stoop so low. I just loathe the thought of being "one of the guys". I hate dudebro culture so much. I guess that's why I was the fruitcake that hangs out with girls in high school 🤷‍♀️

Literally when I first came out my mom thought I wanted to be a woman because I hate men....and maybe she had a point. Like I don't think its the REASON I'm trans but knowing it definitely plays a part and my mom had a point is....well it fucks with me.

#dakota rants #trans #mtf trans #transgender #transsexual #tw dysphoria #dysphoria #gender dysphoria #trans woman #trans girl #misandry #patriarchy

[ghostampede]

was forced to try on a dress for a picnic tomorrow and got wild flashbacks to the day i fully realized i wasn’t cis. i had met a lot of actual trans people through the internet and thanks to already knowing i was bisexual and meeting said people, i was starting to realize things and actually understand what being transgender was beyond the simplified standard words what i was told as a child. i was also finally holding self confidence and had high self esteem after years of strange insecurities and self hate. we were going on a picnic and i was gonna wear a t shirt and jeans, i was happy with that and felt fufilled. my mother told me to wear a dress instead and pushed me to at least try it on, and i obliged without thinking much of it. the dress was blue and white striped with short sleeves, fitted around the waist and shaped to hang close to the legs. it was very feminine, very pretty, and i objectively looked great, which is why i was struggled to find a legitimate reason to tell my mother why i couldn’t wear it. i remember my mother and older sister talking about how i was growing into a beautiful young lady as i stared in the mirror and felt every version of Wrong possible. there was a pretty girl staring at me, but she wasn’t me. her hair was too long and her body was sticking out at the wrong points and she was shaped to be too soft looking and she was beautiful and she wasn’t me.it was at this moment that i remembered a term i had learned from a friend: gender dysphoria. it hit me like a fucking truck and maybe i jumped the gun a bit but everything from the last few months just clicked into place. it all just made sense, i was experiencing gender dysphoria and this literally wasn’t me. i was miserable for the rest of the day as we took photos and i tried to cope with my realization, it took me another two days of further research and reflection of all those odd moments in my life i couldn’t explain from the 6th grade boys poker table i secretly wanted to join but never did for unexplained reasons to my one guy friend i envied a little too much before i realized i was transgender at midnight. i was overjoyed for 30 minutes and then cried for an hour because this wasn’t going to be a side secret i could hide from my family, this was my entire personhood from my name to my appearance to my presentation. it’s been years and this time when i am forced to wear the dress, the familiar discomfort hurts just a little less because i know it’s not me and it’s dysphoric but i also have let myself love and accept the man i actually am, y’know? idk if that made sense but i love that story now, so woohoo transgender story time :’)

#transgender #dorian talks #trans masc #trans man #transgender man #transgender sweep #transmasculine #transmasc #gender dysphoria #transgender dysphoria #growth #flashback #rambles #story time #transgender story time

[herrfivehead]

"mid-2010's trans spaces on the internet were kinda dismissive of the shit trans men went through because some folks thought we had the same amount of privilege as cis men (even us non-stealth ones), to the point where i didn’t feel comfortable coming out as male because nobody wanted me to be" 

and "too many terminally online trans men think women in the LGBT community are their direct oppressors to the point of being lesbophobic, transmisogynistic, and often racist (especially in the context of transmedicalism)” 

are coexisting thoughts i’ve had as someone who’s been on this site since before i knew what transness as a concept even was.

i’ve probably rewritten this post five times because i really wanted to specify that these are my observations from the timelines and dashboards i’ve curated over the years (and as someone on the spectrum, i fucking hate being taken out of context so i tend to overexplain).  

maybe you’ve experienced it completely differently.  but i didn’t come out as a binary trans dude until early 2016 because i followed a lot of people who convinced me i’d be making the choice to oppress.  i’d even seen brainrot bullet point lists of “alternate identities other than male” made by other afab trans people.  they thought they were being so progressive, but they were literally just parroting my own mother’s sentiments of “can i call you They instead of He?” and “if you ever realize you’re genderfluid...” (i am Not).

not much later, i’d just seen this massive influx of misogynistic posts (mostly toward lesbians) and got a lot of secondhand embarrassment knowing The Call Was Coming From Inside The House.  as a result, it made me want to distance myself from those men.  but even if i don’t share their ideals, i can’t just pretend we’re not part of the same group.  

the best we as trans guys can do is just like... be self-aware?  realize that systematic oppression isn’t a points system?  talk to other LGBT people outside our groups/genders/ethnicities/social circles?  maybe it’s easy for me to say because i can hop on a train to greenwich today and chat with any 5 gay elders, but if you can’t reach out, then you can’t make those blanket statements either.  the worst thing we can do is wallow in self-hatred for our identities to the point where we just start shitting on women, using the oppression we *do* face as a shield from criticism.

[earnestlyegos]

alrighty boys! seeing everyone else do an intro post, so now its making me wanna do one as well!

my full name is Damien Emmet Dixon, and im one of the youngest in the system at the ripe age of 23! although i do identify as a trans male since I am the host, im of course actually a guy, dick and all! I stand at a whopping 5’7, and in all honesty I dont know as much about myself as i should-

i like to listen to music, watch markiplier (wow surprise), draw, code, and build legos! im also one of the more social people in our system, so i very much enjoy hanging out with the few friends we’ve got— my role in the system is Host, uhhhh i cant be serious for long cause my job is to be funny! this is real! i hate saying that man, its so weird— anyhow uh, i just live life! i try to be a goof, so youre often gonna see me on this blog, despite it being for my markiplier introjects.

in the past TWO days, two people have made me realize i am technically a fucking introject of our previous hosts OC/ sona!! which!! wow!! like, i knew that, but it makes more sense to me now to call myself an introject. and i DO!! have sourcemates! Twoey is one of them, he doesnt come on this blog or talk very often, but hes another version of me (though im technically a version of him, but we’ll get into that later!)!! hes a brother to me, i love him very dearly and oh BOY have we gone through a lot together-

i also enjoy being a social embarrassment, both on purpose, and purely by accident— im autistic, so please do be kind if i don’t understand something, as i struggle with tone, and i can be a bit dimwitted sometimes!

heres a few pictures of what i look like, though i dont draw myself as often as i should-

sorry for the shitty images, there literally isnt any PICTURE OF ME THAT SHOWS I HAVE BLUE EYES, HOW DO I NOT HAVE AN ACCURATE FUCKING REPRESENTATION OF MY SELF WHAT THE FUCK

anyways uh, there you go!!!!’ yippee!!!!

edit: I ALSO LIKE GAMING I FORGOT TO ADD THAT SORRY

#damien lore part 1 #damien🦷 #system #plural #damien intro