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veryinnovative · 18 hours

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@jegulus-microfic | april 30, prompt: sky | word count: 1.927 featuring older ceo regulus black and younger secretary james potter part 2 | part 1 AKA word on the street is i Excel in the sheets

“Erh…” he tries after a stretch of silence. “So, how was your day?”

Regulus pins him frozen to place with a look, a sign spelling ‘stupid’ nailed right into his forehead. “You know how my day was. You manage my schedule.”

Damn, tough crowd. “Okay,” James drawls, a little unsure. “But, like, how did it go?”

The place functions as any other hole-in-the-wall restaurant that serves just a handful of people throughout the day, most of whom are loyal customers returning every so often for a comfort meal when homesickness becomes a little too much to bear. Even now, there are only a couple of people scattered about, none of which pay any mind to either Regulus or James.

“So, first impressions?” James asks when he takes a seat across from him.

“It’s satisfactory.”

“Satisfactory.” James blinks.

Regulus is quiet. He looks terribly out of place wearing a luxury suit exported from one of the globe’s corners and James can’t help but feel a little guilty. He’s seen Regulus carve into lobster with only a fork and knife but still can’t help but worry about future dry cleaning prices for which he may or may not be responsible.

“Erh…” he tries after a stretch of silence. “So, how was your day?”

Regulus pins him frozen to place with a look, a sign spelling ‘stupid’ nailed right into his forehead. “You know how my day was. You manage my schedule.”

Damn, tough crowd. “Okay,” James drawls, a little unsure. “But, like, how did it go?”

Regulus, perhaps finally acknowledging his poor attempts at small talk to ease the awkwardness, studies him intently for a long, close moment before acquiescing. “Enervating.” Right, because Regulus is the type to unironically use words like enervating.

“The business deal?” James asks and Regulus nods. “Dude from Jakarta, right?”

“The CEO from the biggest real estate company in Jakarta,” Regulus corrects him.

Tomato, tomato. “Does this mean you get to leave work at a reasonable hour starting tomorrow?”

“I’ve never had reasonable working hours.”

“Of course, I forgot the very important detail you’re a raging workaholic.”

Regulus’ mouth sets into a firm line as his brows knit together into a censorious frown—his entire face contorting into something that’s one odd remark away from turning downright petulant. “I am not—” He stops. Breathes in. Probably recognizes James is very carefully pulling his tail and for some reason becomes decidedly collegial. “Allow me to rephrase myself. I am meticulous. I prefer finishing tasks before going home and don’t mind when it results in me staying at work a little longer. It’s inevitable as a CEO when timezones don’t work in my favor.”

Absolute bullshit. “Just last week you kept leaving the office after the cleaning shift already came by to sweep the place clean. I know because they told me.”

“I can’t see how any of this poses as a bother to you.” And there it is, the good ole Regulus Black-esque deflection.

“I’m just worried. That is all.”

Regulus’ nose twitches and he looks away, a clear indication that he no longer wants to be a willing participant in the conversation. When Regulus becomes like this, James has learned to leave it be.

Luckily, it doesn’t take long for the food to arrive. James can stop pretending to take in the beautiful sight of the night sky, cracked asphalt, and the flickering colors of traffic signs when the plate is placed on the center of the table, carrying an assortment of different meat cuts and a modest side salad that will probably be Regulus’ for the taking.

Using the table etiquette of a properly groomed aristocrat, Regulus carefully selects some vegetables to put on his plate and a modest serving of rice. He skillfully carves out some pieces around the skewer.

“Seriously,” James deadpans. “Go on, Your Royal Highness, you can use your hands for this.”

Regulus almost bridles at the mere suggestion.

“Seriously, there’s no shame in it. Here, let me do it for you”

Regulus watches as James grabs one of the skewers and uses his fork to tear chunks off, dropping a generous portion of roasted vegetables and meat on Regulus’ plate. “You want some of this flatbread?”

Regulus shakes his head and James shrugs. He swiftly mouths off a dollop of sauce on his thumb, which earns him one of Regulus’ notorious James-exclusive grimaces.

Right, table manners.

They get to eating and James is once again reminded of how much of a slow eater Regulus is. It’s like he counts his chews, jaw working diligently with the faint scrapes of his cutlery against the plate. That and he works even as he eats, almost on auto-pilot with how he takes out his phone to open Outlook.

“Using your phone at the table is rude manners,” James teases.

“I got an e-mail.”

“Of course.” He nods. “Nothing workaholic about that, no.”

“It’s an important e-mail.”

“You know I read something about how it’s also important to spend time with your employees.” He waves around a piece of the flatbread as if to emphasize the point. “Get to know them better and all.”

“I know plenty about you,” Regulus answers as he types away.

“That so?”

Regulus looks at him, entirely indifferent as the phone is placed face-down on the table. “James Potter. Twenty-three years old. Finished your master’s degree at Oxford, with flying colors might I add. You took a gap year to travel, working all sorts of jobs to pay for your accommodation. Currently, you live near Camden and spend most of your spare time enjoying hobbies or going to the pub with your friends. You have a Joe and the Juice stamp card.”

James tries not to physically reel back. “That…” He starts, absolutely nonplussed. Someone come pick his fucking jaw off the table, it’s dropped off its hinges. “You know what Joe and the Juice is?” Impossible, all things considered. Regulus is in a tax bracket where chain restaurants might seem like fanciful inventions, the kind of places mentioned only in tales where fine dining is unheard of. There's a brief curiosity about whether this is the equivalent of discovering that Toy Story's Pizza Planet is a real place that actually serves food.

“I've come to understand that it's a venue offering juice among a broad array of meals and beverages, yes.”

Still, that’s doesn’t explain… “How do you even know all of that? I hardly even know anything about you other than that you recently turned thirty and were homeschooled for this position.” And that he’s quite fond of the occasional handful of candied macadamias when feeling particularly indulgent. James keeps a packet of it in his bag.

Regulus’ throat bobs. “I do thorough research on the people I employ”

That’s not more than thorough research at this point, far beyond the usual background checks done on new personnel. “Uh-uh. Or you stalk my Instagram during your free time.”

Regulus promptly chokes on his food. His fork falls onto the plate with a loud clatter. James nearly knocks his knee against the table as he too scrambles for the pitcher to pour him water, almost knocking over his can of Sprite in the process.

“Easy, I was just kidding.” He has half the mind to stand up and start patting him on his back to dislodge whatever molecular-sized cucumber wedged itself in his airpipe. “I doubt Mr. Black Enterprises even uses Instagram.”

Regulus looks up startled. Definitely not from the lack of air.

Oh.

Ohohohoh.

“Oh my god.” James’ face splits into a distinguished, shit-eating grin. “You do.”

“What?” It’s barely a wheeze with the way Regulus has been caught. His grip is deadly around the fork, something that should warn James to be wary.

“Instagram,” James repeats, trying his hardest not to gloat when Regulus shivers. “You use it? The Regulus Black uses Instagram? I thought you would be a member of some upper-echelon-exclusive platform instead of mingling with us.”

The worry swiftly dissipates, giving way to confusion, and then settles into something far more at ease. Although James enjoys those fleeting moments where he gets Regulus riled up, he much prefers seeing him relaxed. “Oh—I—Yes. Occasionally,” he stammers, swallowing and reaching for a napkin to dap at his mouth with. “Barty convinced me,” he hastily adds. “It’s a very private account. I’m hardly active on it.”

Sinking into his seat, James pats around for his own phone. “You should follow me.”

“Shu?”

“On Instagram. You should follow me. If you want, of course.”

The tips of Regulus’ ears turn a delicious pink as he returns his attention to his plate. “I’ll think about it.”

After some more idle talk and eating, they decide to head out before Barty ultimately decides it’s past working hours and he’s not dropping Regulus off at home—some palatial penthouse tucked away in one of London's secluded enclaves where the affluent reside, enjoying a life of extravagance as they remain shielded from the public gaze.

Nonetheless, the cherished designated driver will have to linger a bit longer, as both James and Regulus pull out their cards at the cash register. Being a very wise man, Hakeem registers the amount into the terminal and swiftly turns away, well aware that nothing good ever comes from getting involved.

James dismissively waves his hand. “You can put away your card, it’s on me.”

Of course, Regulus isn’t compliant in the slightest. “I made you feel obligated to stay longer than you intended, so it's only right that I pay.”

“I’m the one who invited you, come now.”

“And I’m the one responsible for making you miss out on dinner.”

“Nah. I told you, it was my fault. Seriously, I want to—”

He attempts to move closer, but Regulus also edges forward. Despite being shorter, Regulus exudes an air of authority that instinctively compels James to widen the gap between them and not bump into him. “And I insist.”

But luckily, James is taller and his arms are longer. “Gotta be quicker than that then.”

He extends his arm, shooting right past Regulus’ and taps his card against the terminal, smiling smugly when Regulus scowls up at him, not in the least impressed by his playing dirty. James’ lips part, a jab resting right on the tip of his tongue, something along the lines of ‘They don’t teach you this at fancy pants school?’ only for a chime to disrupt his train of thought.

Card declined.

“Low funds, Yakup,” Hakeem announces without looking over his shoulder like James isn’t sinking to his knees in embarrassment already.

“You got paid four days ago,” Regulus murmurs at his side.

“Rent and utilities were due yesterday.” It nearly comes out in a whine.

“I doubt your rent takes up your whole salary.”

“I also had to pay off my credit card,” James grits out, fumbling through his wallet looking for some cash. In an alternative universe where they’re starred in some cartoon show, the poor faux leather division coughs up dust motes.

“Seriously? How much do you make?

“Might I remind you that you pay me.”

The way Regulus clutches onto his credit card, unlimited of course, one might think the poor thing is about to fold in half. James might as well, to be honest. “Move.”

“No.” His pride’s already been hurt. “Hakeem, can I pay in installments?”

“Only if you take young Khadija out on a date.”

James considers it for a moment, but Regulus the comment only makes Regulus seethe further, “Potter, if you don’t move I’ll give you a reason to worry.”

That’s enough to convince James. He steps away, all kicked puppy-like, and watches how Regulus’ payment gets processed far quicker. “Next time’s on me.”

Regulus rolls his eyes, even as the apples of his cheeks dust pink. “Come, I’m tired and want to go home.”

#jegulus #james potter #regulus black #jegulus fanfiction #marauders #marauders au #jegulus microfic #starchaser #sunseeker #ino microfic tag!#arab jegulus <3 #i had to split this in two and i fear the first half shan't see the light of day for a while yet #for now it's just in a doc for mil's perusal..#this is v low effort but it's why i love it #ceo reg save me #fic / word on the street is i excel in the sheets.#i forgot the title </3 #80% is asleep but matter not... it shall find u

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extant-exhaustion · 3 months

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Can I ask your top 10 fav fics ever (from any fandom, if you don't mind)?

Also, just curious, is there a story behind your name "extant-exhaustion "?

Well, first of all, thank you so much for your patience! I know it took me seven weeks to reply to this Ask! I agonized over my list (also, the holidays happened, which kept me busy). But I finally narrowed it down, so here we go, in no particular order:

My Top 10 Favorite Fanfics

died in my dreams by MTrash Haikyuu!! | T+ | 10k | Ushijima/Tendou | futuristic/cyberpunk AU, opposites attract, reluctant work partners to friends to lovers | fantastic characterization, really cool conceptually, a story about trauma and healing and finding your person

Come and get lost with us by boxofwonder Haikyuu!! | M | 150k | Hinata/Kageyama, Daichi/Sugawara | action/adventure, Medieval AU(?) | unlike anything I've ever read before or since; a really masterful integration of an enormous cast and a plot that unravels with absolutely zero fluff or filler

A Second Chance To Say by KazimaKuwabara/@kazimakuwabara Yu Yu Hakusho | M | 92k | Yusuke/Kuwabara, Youko Kurama/Kuronue | action/adventure, hurt/comfort | ft. Kuronue's eternal sass and unwavering friendship, the slow burn of reincarnated already-in-love KuwaMeshi (because Kuwabara doesn't remember it), somewhat menacing levels of intrigue, and Hiei finally winning MVP of emotions on Team Urameshi

Don't Blink or You'll Miss It (Lift Up Your Head) by umisabaku/@umisabaku Kuroko no Basuke | M | 81k | Kagami/Kuroko, Kasamatsu/Kise, Midorima/Takao, Himuro/Murasakibara, Aomine/Momoi | super powers | This story and its accompanying series are so cool and so unique. The characterization is amazing and the worldbuilding is stellar.

neither fish, flesh, nor foam by twoif interactive on Twine Kuroko no Basuke | Kagami/Kuroko | angst, Little Mermaid–esque, interactive storytelling | incredible, but also devastating; a story about how sometimes our doubts can destroy not only ourselves but the good things we build; one of the coolest things I've ever interacted with as a story, a true tour de force

Transient Shadow, True Light by seafoamist/@seafoamist Kuroko no Basuke | M | 322k, WIP | Kagami/Kuroko | angst, hurt/comfort, time travel, historical (Edo Period) | If you talk to me about this story, I will go absolutely feral, because it is my current obsession and the only WIP that is on this list. I'm straight-up insane about its quality and depth. I can't even put this story into words. It knocks the wind out of me.

And lastly, my URL doesn't actually have a story behind it! It's basically just my life, haha. “Extant” is an adjective meaning “ongoing/still in existence” and “exhaustion” is pretty obvious. Essentially, I like alliteration and thought it sounded better than "tired 100% of the time."

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stealingyourbones · 2 years

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Danny Phantom Merfolk AU

Ok so I wrote about merfolk batfam (you should check it out It’s my favorite thing I’ve ever written), so it’s time to write about Merfolk Amity.

Ok so get ready for some worldbuilding and some wack-as-hell creatures because, as I have said before, I am a hoe for biology. These bitches are gonna be funky sea creature people and look scary as hell. (all sea creature species will be linked to its name)

Danny: Comb Jellyfish. I have so many reasons for this one.

1.) they look rad as fuck. enough said.

2.) they asexually reproduce by making clones of themselves so Dani can literally be one of his clones and that is sick as hell.

3.) they are bioluminescent and imagine the cool shit you could do with that and Phantom

4.) he could have a super cool looking jellyfish bell tail and be semi-transparent (one may even say ghostlike). The bioluminescent and rainbow parts of his bell travel up his sides and back and go up the underside of his arms and all the way up to the back of his neck. He has two long tentacles w/ that trail behind him that are a part of his bell that like gently sway in the water really ethereal-like.

I tie between that OR a Glass Octopus

Like, look at that thing. It’s so beautiful and also v ghosty. It even has little green spots!

In this rendition. Danny is like 10ft long in total with all his tentacles. He has suckers on the undersides of his arms, and his body looks almost fully see-through even though you can’t see any of his organs (idk it’d just look really creepy if it did.) He still eats with his beak so his mouth is used solely for conversation.

Jazz: I was debating between the Venus Girdle, Fangtooth, and Giant Manta Ray and I think that I’ll stick to Giant Manta Ray. They have the biggest brain of any fish and they pass the mirror test! Super smart animals. these fuckers have a 29ft wingspan they’re positively massive. Jazz has black and white skin, her arms are connected to the top part of her fins, and she also has a barbed stinger and will stab the shit out of you if she feels like it.

Tucker: Mantis Shrimp. homie got the shrimp tail and legs. he can see all of the colors. his body has a reflective rainbow colored plating all over and he has eyes on stalks. you can fight me on this. He has claws on the ends of his arms. Manta Shrimp literally make vacuums in the water with how fast they punch their prey (acceleration as fast as a 22 cal.) with these funky little clubs they have near their mouth. The dude can easily break your skull in two with his claws if he wished. Tucker is sick as hell.

Sam: Was debating between Stonefish, Terrible Claw Lobster, Stoplight Loosejaw, but I think I’ll have to settle on Hagfish. These living fossils are the reason I got into researching strange aquatic life. These bitches be jawless. No jaws but they DO have teeth. their teeth aren’t even like regular teeth. They’re made of keratin. KERATIN. These bitches are bottom dwellers that feast on already dead fish on the ocean floor. Wanna guess why they haven’t evolved from their 500 million-year-old evolutionary design? Their defense mechanism is to produce mass quantities of slime whenever threatened. It chokes out fish that try to eat them and causes the predator to back off. If it ain’t broke I guess.

Anyways I went on a far too long tangent. Sam has a very long hagfish-esque tail. her skin is slightly purple. She does in fact have actual teeth and a proto jaw. It’s difficult to speak English with sadly and she keeps her jaw open as a scare tactic.

I was trying to aim for more funky sea creatures for what they would be as merfolk but absolutely feel free to share what type of sea creature/animal you’d think fits best! or for anyone in the DP universe

#danny phantom #prompt #writing prompt #worldbuilding #mermaid au #merfolk au #my hands may be in pain but fuck it #it’s time to talk about cool fish au lore #feel free to just ask me about an amity resident and ill elaborate on them!

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honeysucklethornsandalligtrhorns · 9 months

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Random Ass TSP Narrator Headcanons

These are all my personal headcanons btw, none of this is complete fact!!😚

-He will buy EVERY SINGLE OREO FLAVOR AVAILABLE. This madman would be like ‘would you like an oreo’ and as soon as you said yes he’d be like ‘SWEET DO YOU WANT BACON OR PEANUT BUTTER FLAVORED’

-knows how to harvest and process pure cane sugar but is so scared he faints when he’s surprised by a garbage disposal

-would cheat at yahtzee (aka yatzy)

-toddler-esque personality trait where he’ll just fucking lick or eat anything. but like. discreetly. like you’re standing next to him at a bus stop and he just. subtly licks the bus stop sign to see what it tastes like. you can never directly catch him doing it though

-gets extraordinarily sullen whenever he’s caught doing something wrong (morally or legally) and will deny it to no end

-doesn’t understand if someone is actually being mean or not and will get very upset even by ‘jokes’ (twinning)

-scared of thunder

-scared of fireworks

-scared of alarms (not so much scared as startled and horrified by the noise)

-extremely susceptible to spam calls/scammers (for example ‘Oh my goodness I won the lottery!!? But i don’t even play!! oh, all i have to do is put in my social security number and i’ll win 50 billion dollars?? sign me up!’)

-would probably try to smoke a cigarette/cigar to try and look mysterious and cool and end up smoking from the wrong end and getting ash in his mouth

-fucking loves jelly beans

-would climb into a restaurant lobster tank eddie-from-venom style and try to free the lobsters

-mostly because he just fucking loves sea creatures (based off of his shrimp facts)

-drinks religiously and yet can’t actually get drunk (he just likes the flavor)

-hates tacos because he can’t figure out how to hold them correctly without all the filling falling out (same with things like burgers etc)

Uhh that’s all folks <3

#this is cringe asf but hey this is in fact the cringe website so🤷🏻‍♀️#tsp #the stanley parable #tsp narrator #tsp headcanon #narrator headcanons

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sovereignzofdarkness · 1 year

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can you explain why you don’t like sugerteara, genuinely curious

this got surprisingly long so tl;dr just not really my thing and i just dont think ovenbreak is good at 'big epic story-esque' updates, as a whole and sugarteara- from the perspective of someone who didnt actively play crob while the actual update was happening- is just the most blatant example of that that comes to mind

first off all i just want to say since people tend to take opinions like this kind of weirdly seriously - i genuienly don't care if other people like sugarteara. there are much worse storylines to be invested in from ovenbreak in particular (stares... at the current update) and while i definitely don't understand the hype behind it, i know it's still one of those ob storylines with some kind of cult following sorrounding them. i don't even dislike mocha ray and lobster either! i'm not largely invested in them at all whatsoever but their designs are nice for sure.

now to why i don't admittedly care for sugarteara; the first reason is very petty in that i just find the breakout map for it plain ugly lol. a lot of the parts for the map feel pretty disjoined and just Bad Looking in their color choices, either that or the obstacles/platforms for the map just seem to contrast very poorly with the background making it look... well... Not Good! i like deep sea aesthetics usually (i mean, i have three seperate fully painted pieces that very much go to show that) but the ovenbreak map just has a very... i guess sick? looking colorscheme to most of its sections that make it really unappealing for me

and for the story itself it's just imo another example of ovenbreak biting off more than it can chew. it's just more blatant to me because i wasn't even actively playing at the time of its release so i don't really have any nostalgia for it; but it sets up a somewhat interesting concept (seafairy once ruled over a city of atlantis-type place but left it (assumedly) to search for the moon) but with a lot of the dialogue just being exposition dump from lobster or mocha it's hard to get invested.

i can only hope kingdom gives it the city of wizards treatment sometime, but as of right now it's just kind of a huge example for me of a general problem OB has with its big worldbuild-y plots. starts out with vaguely interesting ideas, but execution is lackluster and also in general a lot of ovenbreak cutscenes go on for farrr too long and given they're just a lot of text with a fancy slideshow it's personally difficult for an adhd riddled bitch like me to sit thru w out anything like voiceacting or whatnot to break anything up when i'm already not horribly invested LOL

like i don't know. it's just not really my thing! i want it to be because i know a lot of people are ride or die with this update and it does vaguely involve pirate Who I Do Like but i just genuienly think ovenbreak as a whole is better at shorter slice of life-y story type updates as unpopular as that might be of an opinion.

#draven txt #sorry if this doesnt make sense. maybe someday well get an update that changes my mind on things but as of rn #not really sugartearas most passionate soldier

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ash-and-books · 3 months

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Rating: 4.5/5

Book Blurb: A grumpy lobster fisherman tosses a fashion influencer’s impeccably curated life overboard in the next romantic comedy from international bestselling author Amy Lea.

In a last-ditch effort to rescue her brand from the brink of irrelevance, Boston fashion influencer Melanie Karlsen finds herself in a rural fishing village on the east coast of Canada. The only thing scarier than nature itself? The burly and bearded bed-and-breakfast owner and fisherman, Evan Whaler—who single-handedly disproves the theory that Canadians are “nice.”

After a boating accident lands Evan unconscious in the hospital, Mel is mistaken for his fiancée by his welcoming yet quirky family, who are embroiled in a long-standing feud over the B&B. In a bold attempt to mend family fences, Mel agrees to fake their engagement for one week in exchange for Evan’s help with her social media content.

Amid long hikes and campfire chats, reeling in their budding feelings for each other proves more difficult by the day. But is Mel willing to sacrifice her picture-perfect life in the city for a chance at a true, unfiltered love in the wild?

Review:

A fashion influencer finds herself staying at an inn owned by a grumpy lobster fisherman and his family... and despite their polar opposite personalities, there might just be love on the line for these two. Melanie Karlsen is a fashion influencer and deciding to give her brand a boost, she decides to go visit a rural fishing village on the east coast of Canada to get content. Yet when a mixup with the dates at the hotel she's suppose to be stay in leaves her stranded she finds a room at a bed-and-breakfast owned by a burly and bearded grumpy fisherman, Evan Whaler. Evan and Mel don't exactly get off on the right foot but when an accident lands Evan in the hospital, and Mel in a panic to make sure he is okay, lies to the hospital and tells them she is his fiancee... only to have his entire family come down to see him and this new "fiancee" things are about to get complicated. Mel and Evan decide to pretend to be fake engaged because it's bringing his family closer, and because they are beginning to grow closer... yet can Mel stay? Will Mel sacrifice her picture perfect life in Boston to be with people who have welcome her into their home like she was family... or will is it too soon and too big of a change? This was a really cute book, and despite it being the third and last one in the series, you can read it as a standalone ( I did and didn't have any problems following it at all). It was a really charming read and there was some spice, but overall I loved how Hallmark-esque it was with the cute bed and breakfast, a grumpy male lead, and a very charming family. I loved how much Evan adored Mel and how they were so smitten for each other. I enjoyed reading this one and would absolutely recommend it for anyone looking for a sweet and fun read.

*Thanks Netgalley and Berkley Publishing Group, Berkley for sending me an arc in exchange for an honest review*

#book review #booksih #book #the catch

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mariacallous · 1 year

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On a recent afternoon in Corriganville Park, an old movie-set ranch in the rocky foothills of the Santa Susana Mountains in Southern California’s Simi Valley, with her blonde bouffant teased to previously uncharted dimensions, a spiked headdress in the shape of a bursting nebula, Wonder Woman–esque wrist cuffs, and bulbous Proenza Schouler open-toe shoes, Jennifer Coolidge looked very much the part of a sci-fi superheroine. She brought to mind such greats as Jane Fonda in Barbarella, Zsa Zsa Gabor in Queen of Outer Space, and First Mate Piggy in “Pigs in Space,” the cult Muppets space opera.

Coolidge, who this year swept the Emmys, Golden Globes, and Critics Choice Awards for her portrayal of a heedless hotel habitué on The White Lotus, was engaged in a winner-takes-all slugfest with Daniel Kwan and Daniel Scheinert, the directing duo known as Daniels, whose multiverse epic, Everything Everywhere All at Once, was the most nominated film at this year’s Academy Awards. It was a surreal scene. Coolidge was protecting Earth from a giant extraterrestrial fashion lobster with monstrous claws, played by Scheinert, but instead of “Pow!” and “Whack!” their interaction was more like “Pow” and…“Whack?”

“I think the best thing to do is to take this,” said Kwan, handing Coolidge a rhinestone-encrusted metal scepter before ducking back behind the camera. “Act like you’re going to stab him.” Coolidge squinted her eyes, seemingly confused about the nature of her superpowers. “Oh, you mean I’m supposed to be annihilating him? That’s cool, I guess,” she said. She proceeded to gently prod Scheinert, who appeared to barely feel the might of her wrath under the spiked sleeves of his crustacean-couture ensemble. Glancing back and forth between his camera’s viewfinder and the low-stakes combat unfolding before him, Kwan furrowed his brow. “You’re being shocked by the scepter,” he explained to Scheinert. Trying not to laugh, he added, “And maybe, kind of, enjoying it.” Scheinert put his claws on his hips, nodding his head in agreement, his whiskerlike antennae flopping in the air. As if on cue, Coolidge prodded him once again, this time more forcefully, sending Scheinert into an exaggerated Looney Tunes–like convulsion, followed by suggestive gyrations reminiscent of a K-Pop boy-bander.

Coolidge let out a loud cackle. “I can’t kill him now,” she said, her face awash with childlike amusement. When the camera clicks paused, Scheinert peeled off his Robyn Lynch balaclava. Shirley Kurata, Daniels’ costume designer, began removing his arthropod exterior. “What is it about lobster claws that I’m so attracted to?” Coolidge wondered. She then turned her attention to surveying the clothing racks filled with tubular disc dresses, new-wave hats shaped like lampshades, and metallic-hued space cowboy boots. “Oh, so this is what we’re going to be doing today,” she said, her voice tinged with bewildered excitement. “I look pretty evil. They seem to like me in villain outfits a lot.”

...

For their latest romp, the directors said there was no question that Coolidge had to be the A-list star of this B-movie shoot, though they had never worked with the actor and their only in-person interaction with her was a brief hello at the Critics Choice Awards in January. “But of all the people who are having a moment right now, she felt like someone exciting to put on the cover of a magazine,” Kwan said. Thanks to her Rubenesque figure, flowing blonde locks, bee-stung pout, and million-dollar smize, Coolidge certainly stands out in everything she’s in, whether she’s playing a dim-witted nail tech in Legally Blonde, a desperate housewife having a lesbian affair with her poodle’s trainer in Best in Show, a sultry suburban MILF in American Pie, a trigger-happy mother-in-law to Jennifer Lopez’s bride-to-be in Shotgun Wedding, or, most recently, a psychic TV medium in Netflix’s We Have a Ghost.

More than anything, Scheinert explained, the directors appreciate a stacked résumé. “I’m prejudiced against young people,” he said. “I have problems with our youth-obsessed culture and beauty standards, so anytime we can shake things up a little, I’m all for it.” Kwan and Scheinert, who are both 35, said working with Michelle Yeoh, 60, Jamie Lee Curtis, 64, and now Coolidge, 61, allows them to pick up “different strategies for existing in this industry,” almost as if by osmosis. “We still feel like just babies,” Kwan said.

On that point, Coolidge was in firm agreement. “The film business tires people out. But I swear to god, I felt like I was getting together with little kids,” she said of her day with the directors. “They were like these sort of child prodigies who are super, super smart and just super creative. I’ve never been asked to do a shoot like this: I have weapons, take down small cities, pick up cars and throw them. I don’t know if I will ever be this surprised again. It was one of the best things I have ever been involved in.”

Like the rest of the world, Kwan and Scheinert swooned over Coolidge’s performance as Tanya in The White Lotus. They were mesmerized as she blasted her way to a clumsy demise on a megayacht chartered by the fearsome Fab Five of Sicily in the final episode of the show’s second season. One of Tanya’s lines is now the stuff of meme legend: “These gays, they’re trying to murder me!”

Speaking about Tanya, but also possibly referring to her own trajectory, Coolidge said: “I feel bad for her, because she didn’t know what she was made of. She didn’t have that kind of faith in herself. Sometimes these scary things happen in life. And then you find out, in like two seconds, that you are a survivor and that you can really pull through for yourself, sometimes in a way that you never believed you could.” Then, with inimitable comic timing, she pitched her raspy voice ever so slightly so it sounded like her scatterbrained character on The White Lotus: “But then, of course, it didn’t quite end up going my way in the end, did it?”

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ashlynniis-bracketeers · 2 years

Photo

I AM [NOT] THE VOID {Warframe}

So... Duviri Paradox, huh?

I saw some people on the Warframe subreddit talking about ol' meme speech man, Corrupted Vor. Considering that the last few years have been focused 90% on the Void in some form lore-wise (Heart of Deimos with Entrati lore, The New War with more Entrati lore + Eternalism fuckery + the Lad in the Slab trying to roll on in at the very end, Duviri Paradox is Soon™), people are trying to grab everything Void-related to vaguely try and predict things/piece things together. One little thing that some people have noticed is that we haven't hear a peep from/about Corrupted Vor in the Void in years. Just what could be up with him lore-wise, considering how much he preaches about the Void and dwells in Tier 4 of the Void (not-Zariman Void), along with the fact that he was literally rezzed by a Void Key and is held together with golden energy after being bisected. Then again, DE barely acknowledges his existence... but we can never know until we see.

So I decided to draw an idea, Corrupted Vor outright twisted by the Void into something Zariman Angel-esque. He's significantly larger (see the Void Key in his right hand), the original golden energy is replaced by webbed blue energy and has grown more out-of-control from his bisected chest, the right side of his face (with the prosthetic eye) has opened into a hole like the empty faces of the Angels, and his body has been transmogrified into the endlessly spiraling Void metal of the Angels, among other things and tiny little baby wings to go with his chicken feet kasdhaksd. Honestly, I think that if they were to bring Corrupted Vor back in Duviri, he'd probably look more like what we've seen from Duviri (the synthetic Dax, Kaithe, etc.) than from the Zariman, but trying to find good references makes me want to stab myself lmao (especially since I drew this in MS Paint jsadaj).

Drawn in MS Paint, made transparent + fancy outline in Photoshop.

I hope you like it!

Extra Design Notes (under the cut):

- His helmet-thing has been morphed into an array of "halos" on the top and bottom of his head.

- His nose and left eye are (mostly) intact, though he lacks a mouth. he'll probably find a way to monologue at us anyway lmao

- His left knee has more "feathers" on it because his left knee already had a spike on it and I just built on top of that.

- For something that can't be seen here, with his bird-feet, I turned the inner fourth toe into something akin to a thumb. The Man in the Wall is associated with hands/fingers a lot.

- On his left hand, he's missing his pointer finger, instead replaced with energy (similarly to the Man in the Wall).

- The reason his pointer and pinky fingers are disproportionately large and spiky compared to the other fingers is because they're growing out into the big Slaaneshi lobster claws that we see on all of the Angels.

- His left shoulder has a large amount of plumes/a well of webbed Void-fire because his left shoulder is very bulky and large compared to his right. He also has a hole in the left side of his chest where that strange... pump-tube-thing once was.

#Brackets Draws #Brackets's Art #Warframe #fanart #fan art #Captain Vor #Corrupted Vor

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menalez · 1 year

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go on the account lesbiansdatingmen . terfectly/kelly wasn’t just “mistaken” lesbians that were there had called her out from the beginning as she went from hm poliles is good to um actually thag was my internalized lesbiphobia to being a homewrecker for her friends man.

okay so i nearly gave up like 3 times going thru that blog bc i scrolled thru so much of it and found nothing but ppl saying shit (which is meaningless. ppl here lie about other ppl like they’re getting paid for it. the number of wild assumptions n claims ppl made about me is enough for me to believe that). i eventually found SOMETHING but none of it backs up the theory that she was lying about her sexuality knowingly & was banging dudes while claiming to be a lesbian, or anything about political lesbianism. there’s speculation based on one post where she’s said sth like “me whispering harder into your ear is one of my favourite memories” which honestly could’ve been her talking about anyone and any kind of sex act 💀 or even not a sex act at all fhdhdhs. ive had sex w many women and i promise that “harder” is also said in lesbian sex. so that was just speculation & assumptions. the one that perhaps had something rly bad within it is this one, which i cannot see what it says anymore bc the blog is gone:

im guessing that’s her blog in the op? but im not sure.

other receipts were her maintaining she didn’t have sex w the guy, & more of the op of that blog speculating (it seems that’s where the claim that she had sex with this guy with his wife in the same room came from??):

and then this which is her basically admitting she’s not gay/a lesbian.

idk man ppl saw posts i made when i was 14 saying stuff like “i loved you and trusted you how dare you hurt me!!” & the tags referring to a guy and ppl assumed i was talking about an ex-boyfriend or sth but it was about my rapist. or one time i asked for monetary help so i can buy dinner & i did buy dinner for my gf and i (cheap burger and fries or sth) and ppl claimed we went to some expensive restaurant and ate lobster there. like. ppl would jump to wild conclusions and create insane reality show / soap opera-esque assumptions & claims about others on here and reality is very often far more boring than their assumptions. so. unless there’s someone from that time who has like proper receipts or is quite reliable that wants to talk about this ima take it w a grain of salt bc that blog in itself looks pretty biased anyways 😭

#also not into how the creator of that blog immediately went to attacking lesbians for ?? not attacking the woman in question enough #that was like the first original post on that blog or sth #i did. learn from that blog that she only identified as a lesbian for like a year which honestly from the way ppl talk about this story #i thought maybe it was a more significant time or sth but no

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anosci · 11 months

Text

(181-196 albums etc that I’ve listened to this year, copied from twitter) (now with art. [1] [2] [3] [4] [5] [6] [7] [8] [9] [10] [11] [12] [13] [14])

names and thoughts below cut

181/ (all mono211/monotonik releases, 1999) saddened that "End of an Era LP" (source of the album art im using) is primarily colored by dnb, even if its high quality. otherwise, a million singles. standouts mostly mp3: "gobblad" feeling that turn of the century chill style "702" fascinatingly rephlex "benedict" ok some dnb is fun actually "Shadowfighter" what rebelious energy! standout!!

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182/ (all Tokyo Dawn Records releases, 2000) mixed bag etc etc. best at hip hop. "killer of the zodiac" dnb yes, but. this guy is weaponizing his mp3 encoder. love it "reckoning" brandishing lofi "limits" as central assets? ace. "surnaturel forme" ace trip hop turntable timbre

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183/ VA - supermariountwirled ep (2000) get dunked on ocr emix we're sampling the chiptunes for our technos in the y of 2k!!! …oh. it's not great :( yeah sadly this is filled with poor execution, even when the ideas are fun. only "flying mario (xllv remix)" is worth keeping imo

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184/ (all mono211 non-albums, 2000) mono y2k KICKING ASS. herein lies the good stuff! ex: "we're like air.." EXACTLY the made at home optimistic post-y2k electronica i adore holy shit "Timecrunch EP" gorgeous!! cant get over how good this is!!!!!!!! "woozy dog" homemade y2k! homemade y2k! homemade y2k!

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185/ (all mute releases i found on an ftp, mostly y2k) a very bedroom idm romp. sadly i didnt particularly vibe with this selection. it feels very focused, but on smth not quite for me. favs? hmm. proswell had a nice little EP. the unsearchable "insta" by sin is a standout too

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186/ subi - The Rave-O-Lution Has Been Terrorised (2000) it's a throwback to the sounds of 10 years ago… from 23 years ago. kinda mixed bag of "resonating with me" but still pretty fun. prodigal rave stuff. favs? "var 4rom earf" ez

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187/ binary - binatone (2000) a little meandery. a little idk. not particularly "bright" but it feels right somehow. lazy afternoon vibes i guess? standout: "ivor commodore part 3" i think. also enjoying "formel 2" and "ballad of pam and tommy part 5" for quite different reasons

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188/ Andy Stott - Faith In Strangers (2014) slowly unfolds into heavy soundscapes. less "fog" or "smoke" and more like humid air that's too hot to breathe. and then sometimes its just slappy beats. highlights? "Violence" perhaps. "How It Was" is also massive

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189/ Kink - For The People (2023) 3 nonstop slappers but i PARTICULARLY vibe with "Kazan". sadly, 1 slap stopper at the end (i do not vibe with that vocal sample in "Vacation")

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190/ L.A.M. - Balance of Terror (1992) I heard "Nuclear Facelift" was a common track in early AFX sets and yeah i hear why. i love the synthwork overall, really fun stuff, and its ontop of a very early sounding drum soundscape. really cool era encapsulation going on.

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191/ Cylob - Lobster Tunes (1999) I guess i missed this rephlex release somehow? nonstop DELIGHTFUL sound design grooving in 99 "Wanking Off On Other People's Misery" srsly the groove! "Smash Up The Pram" !!! that weird meter in "Stomping FM"!!!!!

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192/ KNOWER - KNOWER FOREVER (2023) listening to this like "its ok" then the piano kicks in and im rockin "Real Nice Moment" real into it. "Nightmare" grooooove "It Will Get Real" finally showing its real in the second half. not my fav knower romp but overall ok.

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193/ Mr. Carmack - Drugs (2014) me saying "kinda bangs actually" repeatedly. it kinda feels like a collection of sketches, which is how it's presented tbf. standouts "insanity and this music industry" holy shit "Dark Hadou (Remix)" retrofuturebanger "lonelyfuckingsamurai"!!!!

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194/ (Tokyo Dawn Records & Sparks, 2001) plesantly suprised at the shift from dnb to chill br8ks. very ninjatune esque. a few highlights: "buenas" the exact oldschool timbre i crave "night light" oh hell yeah!!! tight! also, much love for michael victory's deep style

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195a/ VA - FF8: SeeDs of Pandora (disc 1) (2023) a very pretty, artisanal opening. feels like stunningly beautiful arrangements of music that im not too familiar with, except for "Longing for the Horizon" which is a standout to me. oh, and "The Jellyfish" for similar reasons.

195b/ VA - FF8: SeeDs of Pandora (disc 2) (2023) two of five. driving up that nrg. im surprised at the super good psytrance chops here! "Downtown Run" is super good i was suspicious of the vocals in "Filthy Lies / Wasted Virtue" but they work so so nicely!

195c/ VA - FF8: SeeDs of Pandora (disc 3) (2023) three of five. imediately opening with the WILD vibes of "Even Ill Omens Need a Break" "Swagger de Chocobo"!!! koan influence!! making making me love chocobo again! "Willing Sacrifice" rly fun spooky turned beat beats. MkVaff! "A Scar to Match" this brings an absurd energy that i cant help but appreciate "OH!! DEKA-DE-JAZZ-DE-CHOCOBO ~ Dirty Contacts Mix" yooooooooo this is a fun experimental piece that's also just. fun! "Into the Singularity" oh hell that's MASSIVE "A Wounded Spy" everything falls into place. i rly didnt expect to like this but yet. i do

195d/ VA - FF8: SeeDs of Pandora (disc 4) (2023) four of five. insanely massive opening with "Voces Maledictionis et Spei: Children Fated to Lead" very very happy to see the "massive collab to cover a FF boss theme" resulting in ABSURDLY BANGER tunes trend continue. "Heavy Residents" laughing that ppl are citing random songs that i specifically adore and saying "im referencing that" and then they all rock. "SeeDs of Pandora" title track? it packs the heat.

195e/ VA - FF8: SeeDs of Pandora (disc 5) (2023) five of five. not at all what I expected, in that I thought it was going to be literally goofy throwaway nonsense and it's far from that lol "Song of the Desperado" is a TREAT. "As One Closes, Another Opens" chipper thing that ends up as somehow nostalgic "The Definition of Insanity" is 100% THE standout tho! absolutely wild fun!

195/ VA - FF8: SeeDs of Pandora (2023) i ended up dividing my thoughts into one tweet per disc (see above) but overall: i have no attachement to this game. that doesn't stop me from being in awe at the BANGERS here. FF collabs seem to bring out the beast in ppl. also: the shocking quantity of beautiful live stuff!!

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#media thread

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