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#lol they're wearing fusion
goleb Β· 1 year
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Is the DHMIS Gem AU mostly wholesome like Steven Universe, or does it have some grim things happening to the main characters?
I'd argue Steven Universe has a plethora of really dark moments and concepts that get overlooked or aren't dwelled on too hard due to having Steven as the center focus, so in that way, yes, it's exactly like Steven Universe πŸ˜‚ But in all seriousness, while the overall plot isn't as concrete and developed YET (mostly from being a relatively recent creation, compared to something like, say, my KGTV Gem AU, which is also significantly darker and flavourably edgier in terms of themes, but we're not here to talk about that) I'd say it's a lot more domestic slice of life than anything else. It's actually pretty close to the Orphanage AU in that regard, haha.Β 
I don't wanna leave you with that short of an answer so, uh, here's some of my brainstorming attempt doodles.Β 
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Sketchbook is a glass prism because light refraction makes rainbows out of something that's clear, and drawing in a sketchbook makes something pretty out of empty pages. That's it, that's my logic. Theoretically Sketchbook could have been an iris agate as well, but I left that option for one of the fusions instead. Bit of an off-colour, but aren't they all… 
Tony is a blue star sapphire, because sapphires in the show are associated with time through their future vision (or past vision, in Padparadscha's case) so it's reasonable to assume a star sapphire would be as well. Also an excuse to keep his face markings, to be honest. Not quite satisfied with the gem colour-wise but who's gonna stop me from taking artistic liberties on that?Β 
Shrignold is a permafusion of a Rhodochrosite (associated with love, has variants that go from Sugary Pastel Pink to Raw Meat which I trust I don't have to explain in relation to Shrignold, haha) and an Aquamarine (considering the aquamarines already present in the show, butterfly theme and all), making a butterfly jasper (for obvious reasons).Β 
Colin and Laptop are quartzes, because quartz is commonly used in computers and stuff (and to keep time!), at least as far as I know. It's a deviation from the show because I was never fond of the whole "every gem of this type has the same role and looks and body type and corrupted form" for quartzes especially. I had to actively keep myself from making them heinrichites because it looks like a circuit board and, well, you know. Computers! And for some reason I automatically associate anything lime green with Colin even though there is nothing lime green about him. But who knows, maybe I'll go back on that decision, everything I say is still subject to change. Gilbert is also there, by the way. He's an Azurite-Malachite.Β 
Spinach Can is a moldavite, Lambchop is a red agate, Bread Boy is a bronzite, and I'm a bit on the undecided in terms of what Fridge ought to be. I sort of settled on scolecite. Didn't want to make it something as obvious as literal ice.Β Finally, Lamp Guy is a blue goldstone. It looks like a night sky, that's obvious enough πŸ˜‚Β 
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Both Yellow and Special One are half-gems, a childrenite and a pink petalite respectively.Β Roy isn't a gem in this one, but you know me, I do love my AU variations, even if they don't ultimately lead to anything proper. He is inherently a citrine though, if you're wondering. And that's my favourite gem C:Β 
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oddeyesarcpendulumdragon Β· 10 months
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another late @arcvmonth prompt fill but I have decided to be nice to myself and just do things at my own pace
Anyway this is for Day 5, role swap, and I decided to dabble a bit in the Fusion-XYZ swap that used to be popular back in the day
Main art is of Sora and Shun's swap since they're the most prominent roles. Shun's outfit is semi-based off of Kaito's, as in XYZ instead of Obelisk Force, they would have the Number Hunters. The actual Number Hunters would wear an outfit pretty identical to Kaito's white coat design, but Shun's is a little different (the way Sora's is different from Obelisk Force) because he's trying to be a spy and all lol. I kept his signature colors/palette, I just wanted to make him look a little sleeker since he's not coming out of a civilian life where he got fucked up by a military invasion.
For Sora, I decided that since Academia is no longer a military school, their uniforms would end up being pretty much the same as they were in GX. I wanted to alter Sora's design a bit to show that this was a different universe, so I changed his jacket to be more like an actual GX jacket (still Obelisk Blue because come on he's still a good duelist lol), and his shorts are based off of Rei's uniform in GX, cause idk boy just looks good in shorts. Added a cloak because he had to be sort of incognito at first, like Shun and Yuto with their masks, and because even in canon all the Fusion kids are always wearing cool cloaks haha.
I have more thoughts under the cut but I don't want this post to get too long:
So basically, the swap's premise is that Leo goes to XYZ first and starts his child soldier grooming program there instead. This means that Academia is a normal duel school, while Heartland becomes essentially one big child soldier factory. Leo spreads his influence to multiple Heartland schools and connects them into one interdimensional army network.
Shun and Ruri are still siblings. They grew up together, and when Leo came along and started militarizing the schools, they just kind of got swept up in it. Leo located Ruri rather quickly, but since she already had some family ties, he couldn't isolate her as easily. So he rolled both Shun and Ruri into some of his more elite training squads.
Ruri is still kept in Heartland, but now she has not only Leo, but Shun also telling her to stay put and that she shouldn't participate in the invasion.
Shun is still very young when Leo gets ahold of him, so he swallows the whole "we have to destroy this other dimension for the sake of universal peace" pretty easily, and gets very gungho about it, because he wants to protect the world for his sister. Ruri also swallows the story, and wants to be a hero like her brother by fighting the "bad guys."
Meanwhile, Academia is just an ordinary school with ordinary kids doing ordinary stuff. Sora is just another student. He's super smart and good at dueling, but doesn't have a lot of drive to impress anyone and is considered a problem child. This gets him to butt heads with the star student of the school, Selena, who is annoyed that Sora is always lazing about, while Sora is annoyed that Selena is always nagging him.
You may ask, where are the dragon boys in this scenario? I'm glad you asked!
Yuto is still friends with Shun and Ruri, however, Leo has been taking steps to isolate him from them by sending him on lots of missions of his own. I didn't draw yuto cause I didn't want to try and design an outfit for him, but he plays a similar role to Yuuri: his job is to go and find girls that look like Ruri. Leo tells him that Ruri is special and there are girls like her who need to be found and taken into protective custody. Unlike Yuuri, who was very sadistic in his own way, Yuto is very genuine. He truly believes he's doing the right thing, and that in and of itself is terrifying. When he faces an opponent, he's always trying to comfort them, like "it's okay, being carded doesn't hurt, it's going to be all right." Which is scary! To most people!
Yuuri is another smart student at Academia who sees no need to prove himself to anyone, like Sora, so the pair of them tend to get along. He's one of those annoying kids who never studies but gets an A++ on everything he does and he has a big head about it. Yuuri's a bit of a prankster and a tease, so he also annoys Sora just as much as Selena does - but he annoys Selena far more.
Anyway, the invasion hits them HARD like it did the other way around in canon. Some of the elite students of the Academia barricade themselves in the school and defend with siege tactics as a last-ditch rebellion. Yuto is sent in to collect Selena, but Sora encounters him first. Sora challenges him and loses. But Selena arrives in time and threatens to make Yuto's job hell trying to chase her down if he cards Sora, but that if he lets Sora go, she'll go with him quietly. Sora blames himself for Selena's kidnapping, and the guilt drives him to find a way to get her back.
Unlike Sora, who in canon didn't have anything to do with the invasion, Shun actually is sent to Fusion as part of a strike force where he really racks up the card count and is considered a super powerful soldier. So Leo entrusts him then with the mission to head to Standard to keep an eye on Reiji.
Things go sideways for him though when 1) he notices Pendulum summoning and 2) he meets a girl who looks just like his sister.
So Shun goes to You Show instead, deciding this is a more effective use of his spying. While there, Yuzu ends up asking him to teach her XYZ summoning, which he agrees on account of her reminding him of Ruri.
So at this point, you can kind of guess where things go. Sora and Shun clash, Ruri runs away from Heartland to see if she can help her brother, and she meets Yuzu, who tells her to get the whole story.
Ruri arrives just in time to see her older brother throwing Sora down a flight of stairs after beating him in a duel, and she's horrified. How could her loving older brother do something like this? Shun is also horrified, because Ruri turns on him. He has no choice but to end up retreating back to Heartland, and Ruri stays behind.
Shun starts to switch sides a little faster than Sora did in canon, because now it's personal. At first he thinks that Ruri's been brainwashed or coerced by Reiji, so he's furious and desperate to take revenge, but once he has a chance to think about it, he starts to consider how Weird his childhood is and how much Leo was always trying to separate him and Ruri. So he starts to investigate what's actually happening - plus, he thinks Yuzu was kidnapped, and he feels guilty for getting her involved.
As another swap, Dennis and Sayaka switch places. Dennis is back in Academia trying his damndest to support the rebellion, but he's terrified and hates himself for his cowardice. Meanwhile, Sayaka was groomed into becoming a spy. She didn't end up becoming friends with Ruri in this continuity, so Ruri doesn't recognize her when she joins the Lancers - but Sayaka did still meet Yushou and was enamored with his dueling style, like Dennis was. She's quiet and sweet and wracked with guilt for everything she's done, but is too afraid to stand up to Leo and the Number Hunters.
anyway this is getting long! You can probably extrapolate some stuff from there :) maybe i'll do more scribbles about this au again sometime.
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merlyn-bane Β· 6 months
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Trick or treat! πŸˆβ€β¬›πŸ¬ Would love wlw codywan thoughts, please! May that revolve around a published fic (She Plays Bass, maybe πŸ‘€) or unrelated ideas
Happy Halloween!!! πŸŽƒπŸˆβ€β¬›πŸŽƒπŸˆβ€β¬›
Lol most of my thoughts regarding sapphic Codywan are screeching, ❗❗❗❗❗, and general keysmashing, but I'll do my best! 😘
Unless stated otherwise, Lady Wan is a l w a y s Mullet Wan. To me. From my own fics, she wouldn't have the mullet in the Hobbit/LoTR fusion probably, and I think I drew her with a ponytail in the Star Trek AU, but in my heart, Lady Wan rocks the Big Jedi Mullet 25/8
Speaking of the Star Trek AU, I like to think that they promoted Obi-Wan into the officership in an attempt to distance her from sciency stuff she could inadvisably touch as much as because she's just a good leader. She gives Cody even more migraines than having to try to contain her curls does
Part of why I love writing sapphic Codywan so much is because they just lend themselves to the hypercompetent-useless-lesbian trope so well, and as someone who is completely and helplessly in love with Gorls myself, I can relate haha
It's been too long since I've thought about She Plays Bass!! My thoughts for you today on that is that Cody's 1000% favorite place for Obi-Wan to sit is on her face, and Obi-Wan is rightfully obsessed with Cody's thighs and singlehandedly becomes the reason that Cody can't wear any kind of shorts/skirts on stage. Also, the mental image of them kissing on stage a la Bruce Springsteen and Clarence Clemmons lives rent free in my head.
She Plays Bass thoughts part two--Obi-Wan and Fox are probably fucking obnoxious together on tour. Just constantly bickering and taking the piss out of each other just because they can and they're happy to have a worthy verbal sparring partner. Everyone hates them. They will not shut up.
Cody's banana briefs are real!! I have to keep talking myself out of buying them haha. https://rodeoh.com/collections/briefs/products/brief-harness-banana
Thanks for playing, @dontbelasagnax!! Mwuah!!
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lopsidedtreetrunks Β· 2 months
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Here is my submission for @dribbonart 's amedot fusion competition! I like her a lot, although there are a couple of things I probably could have done a bit better lol
Steven is there for height comparison. All of the text on the page is in the alt text :)
I have A LOT of notes under the cut, which can get a bit stream-of-consciousness-y (because I can never just be chill about something bsdjaksjdlskd),, so I apologise in advance for how long it is 😭
Early research notes:
Mixing amethyst and peridot's skin colours together gets you a kind of sage green colour, so I researched to light green gems
Aventurine stuck out to me as it was the only one i found where it was actually described as sage green, so i thought 'that's perfect' lol
A lot of the healing properties of green aventurine I think resonate with both amethyst and peridot's personalities, from its promotion of friendship to its emission of positive energy
I liked that one of the sites i used to research aventurine mentioned ancient civilisations' usage of green aventurine and i wanted to incorporate that into the fusion's design/personality
It's important to me for her to have aspects of both amethyst and peridot shown in the design somewhere. Most of the time when i design fan fusions I do this in their hair, which is not different this time. I made her hair long, with a bushy tail on her braid representing amethyst, and her three skull braids representing peridot's triangle hair. Her hair is also in a braid bc when i hear the word adventure for some reason the first thing i think of is Lara Croft so,,, thats why i gave her a braid πŸ˜…
I wanted her body design to kind of resemble athleisure-wear since she loves relaxing but can get up and go at any point, ready for adventure! She also doesn't need to be complicated. I don't think she needs extra limbs etc since she has her vision power.
Obviously the crystal gems are very important to both amethyst and peridot, so I wanted to give her at least one star on her body. Her torso seemed like the most obvious place, but I'm not sure if she should have more elsewhere, too. The star on her torso can be like a tattoo.
I think she would be very intense in her love for her friends, which might make people uncomfortable. She will back off if she senses this, but she means well I promise!!
She can be spontaneous when it comes to her adventuring, sometimes dragging Steven and the other gems from their beds to go on a Cool Adventure (pearl is NOT a fan of this lmao)
When I say 'adventuring' I really mean just travelling and/or exploring new places, which could be anything from a new city to a deep jungle. Normally these adventures don't last longer than a couple of days... unless they get lost..........
A few amedot related rambles notes:
One of my favourite things about amedot is that they're sooo opposite. I'm such a big opposites-attract truther almost everything I ship there's one puppy dog and one wet cat there's nothing i love more than polar opposite pairings <3
With that said they also share a few things (cough being short asses cough) such as their love of their friends (even if they show it in different ways) and they can both be pretty headstrong. They both had their own journeys - amethyst with her self confidence and feeling inferior, and peridot with unlearning the system of homeworld and the traditions she was so used to. They both had to learn how to love themselves enough to be able to stand up for what they believe in and to let themselves be true to themselves (i hope that makes sense lol)
I think their opposing traits can be quite complementary. Peridot is quite intense; she gets excited about her favourite things and she gets embarrassed easily. Amethyst is more laid-back and tends to roll her own way. They complement each other well.
More refined notes:
Amethyst's personality: Mellow Lazy/messy (affectionate) Improved self-esteem Fiercely loyal
Peridot's personality: Self-confident Smart (robotics) Analytical Intense interests/personality Learned to enjoy life/appreciate Earth
Aventurine properties:
Quartz
Name comes from Italian for adventure
Known as a heart-healer for it's relation to the heart chakra
Said to bring prosperity in all facets of life
Emits a positive energy, slows overactive minds, guides lost spirits, promotes friendships
Ancients Tibetans used it in statues, believing it's glimmer gave them higher vision
Amazon tribes used it in jewellery, believing it gave their royalty and warriors guidance in battles
Aventurine personality:
Self-confident
Enjoys seeking adventure but really values her downtime
Adores her friends - loyal
Can take charge if needed
Can be spontaneous with adventuring
Emotional decision-maker
Although she is very smart, she tends to think with her heart rather than her head
She has a special power - higher vision grants her the ability to see for miles and can focus in any person/thing in the present
Similar to Sapphire's future vision but stays in the present
She gets her street smarts and go-with-the-flow attitude from Amethyst
She gets her intense love and confidence from Peridot
Hyper but content in life
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amaiguri Β· 8 months
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Saegenfolk Reworks -- How I'm thinking about my pastel-goth Chinese-Viking fusion culture
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Okay, so, as some of you may know, I am working on updating my Saegen culture to have more elements of my birth culture -- cuz, I legit don't know enough about it so this is a great way to learn and then like... mind-palace it into my worldbuilding (yes, I just verbed "mind-palace"). And guess what? I just finished my first sketches of a rework of the whole culture!!! <3 <3 <3 I'm REALLY pleased, it's really reasonating with me now in a way Saegen culture NEVER was <3
So, let's go over what some of the different stuff is -- Top to bottom, left to right... And I AM open to feedback and thoughts and, in fact, I encourage it <3 I consent to advice!
First thing to notice is the Saegen now have a color scheme that isn't jewel-toned red and gold… because the SVANHIK people are red and gold. I experimented with Green and Teal for the Northern lights -- but Green felt really weird. It made them too elfy. And Teal is already Telethens' color. Nouveau Thuille is purple/navy blue/black… So instead of making the red more jewel-toned, I took it towards Cyberpunk Neon/Barbie pink. Why? This is Asarlai's color in their culture now. Asarlai is the father of humanity and god of magic (up North) So wearing pink is super fatherly, magical, and clever. We still have black because black plants just work good in these near-underground settings -- absorbing waaay more light. So now the Saegen aesthetic is now like… pastel-goth Chinese-Vikings.
Next, we have the FASHION! The fashion is very very specifically stolen from the silhouette of Hanfu, just with more fur and different materials. I imagine it being Rumateur wool, but also leather and dyed animal skins and maybe bamboo silks and so forth. We still have elaborate braids and wavy hair, but in my mind, their eyes are all like the Sakha people or something. They still use their hands to paint their faces -- typically for sunscreening/snow-glare/sea-glare reduction reasons as well as receiving Asarlai's blessing. And while Thuilleans prefer silver metals, they prefer gold. This is just a contrast thing.
Next next: Houses! They mostly build out of these silvery bamboo stalks that grow under the Upper Continent. I really like these tent-like silhouettes to their houses -- with littler tents stacked atop each other. They also have igloo-like, bulb-shaped homes for temp shelters! Their ships are like dragons with their wings and blade-armored fronts (mostly for ice, but also fighting). And some even ride small whale-landsharks with sealskin saddles ❀️
Weapons and tools wise: They're really well known for their Ysse lanterns (I mean, EVERYONE IS but for different reasons). Theirs are all a really pretty pink -- the "purest form of Ysse light" (Not really.) -- and have the teardrop bulb shape. But they look like these warm, nutrient restoring fungi that naturally grow (or probably a god put them there) in Saegenheim. They also have guns (which have magic bulbs that, when struck, blast out fire. So really, they're flamethrowers but I don't like the way that sounds lol). They also use these Tang-dynasty-inspired swords and poleaxes pretty commonly.
Animal and creature wise: Their rumateurs are much bigger and bulkier -- more cattle-like thanks to the flatter plains around Saegenheim -- than the more lithe, leapy rumateurs of the Nouveau Thuillean valley. They also keep artic bunnies (even though the're considered mild pests in Nouveau Thuille) as easy food and sometimes even hunt seals. However, they have to be super careful not to murder their selkie brethren -- it is generally wiser not-to hunt seals because they might be a selkie -- and instead just ask seals for their molted skins (which they molt in one, thick slough once a year) or milk to make cheese or kumis. Not-shown: They also heavily rely on Butterflies of the Heart for Honey, Wax, and Mead --because despite their name, they're actually bees.
Above the Saegenheim cave are these enclosed plains of black bamboo forests. A currently unnamed but critically important fungus grows in tandem with the bamboo and is part of the bamboo's natural life cycle. I'm not entirely sure, but maybe something like the bamboo grows up and starts putting out leaves to photosynthesize, to pump back into the ground. The fungus feeds on the bamboo but then helps it spread further and also, gives the bamboo nutrients back in the winter. And eventually, the fungus eats the dead stalks WHILE fixing the soil for the new growth?
Regardless, the Saegen people eat this fungus as one of their staple foods.
They also eat a ground-fungus that the rumateurs and bunnies eat up here that grows small and under the frost but VERY PERSISTENTLY, much to everyone's surprise (it's the 5" one). It also works with the bamboo and tree fungus to make this really weirdly balanced flow of nutrients in and out of the soil with the seasons.
The ground fungus is usually dried, ground up, and then used for soups or baked goods (like flat breads or meat loafs.) Meanwhile, the tree fungus is usually eaten without grining but still boiled/fried/baked OR dried and ground up and brewed to make coffee. ((This is where the Northerners get their coffee -- the coffee is a lie, they are perpetually drinking an American Civil War Confederate coffee substitute XDDDDD But at least their coffee usually has good protein, micronutrients, and caffeine-like substances, unlike real Civil War coffee substitute LOL))
So Saegenheim is now in the Womb of the World, (the environment sketch) taller and this tree-like fungus grows that is also edible and can act as a meat-substitute nutrient-wise BUT it grows much slower, so it is carefully monitored by the Sages so they don't fuck it up.
Speaking of the Womb of the World -- this warm, damp refuge in the otherwise hostile, VERY NORTHERN part of the tundra is a cave warmed by the specific way the permanent Ysse Springs interact with the stones here -- warming the cave to very liveable temperatures year round. The Sages of Saegenheim have built their home here to honor the Gods who brought forth all of humanity. However, most Saegenfolk do not live here year round -- they are semi-nomadic, in that they go to the same few places and settle for the season. Different royal families will lead their people to different places, but those who can afford it will return to winter in the safe, reliable Saegenheim to catch up on news and celebrate Godsweek. They hang new pink lanterns in the streets at the beginning of every new year.
And lastly, when they aren't in Saegenheim, the Saegenfolk are often sailing. And this means they are hunting whale-landsharks, sea serpents, shrimp, and artic carp (articarp, if you will XD).
Now this closeness of location and similarity of lifestyle and respect of the Sages and Gods may lead you to believe that the Saegens are cooperative, extended-family-oriented folks.
No.
Due to the harshness of the environment, a great deal of emphasis is placed on survivability and military. And when everyone is seeking to be better, then you cannot rest for even a moment or you will fall behind. If you are not young enough to be trying to get stronger/cleverer/better/more useful, then you better be teaching others to get there or you're useless. And useless things are to be cast off…
Every family has its own sort of military hazing rituals that involve ridiculously long, cruel, and unnecessary training hours. Admittedly, it's a well-rounded education but there are all these weirdly specific judgements about you, depending on what kind of instruments, weapons, poetry, and cooking recipes you know. And even though your extended family will provide you food and teach you and find your more private tutors as you grow up… you will be constantly compared to your cousins. If you are worse than even one, you are pressed like you are worthless. If you are better than all your cousins and siblings by 200%… why is it not 250%? 300%? You cannot ever be Enough in Saegen culture.
Unless you're a Sage. Sages are judged by entirely different standard. But the number of people who try to become Sages and fail is also… quite large.
Anyway, this might've been poorly organized AND I'm still thinking about all this so if you have thoughts or feedback, let me know ❀️
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freaky-flawless Β· 2 years
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Clwdeen used to give big Afrolatina from Long Island vibes as well and now it’s like. Wow she’s in glasses how coooooooool. I miss when the monster high girls were alt before it was tiktok cool to be alt like always in fishnets and safety pins and mixing plaids in a very β€œpunk, but make it pretty” way. Like you just KNOW those early girls were DIYing their own clothes and now it’s like wow you bought that top at h&m
Honestly, even H&M seems a little mature for them.
100% agree with you tho, tiktok is the one of the reasons I'm surprised they strayed so far from the original clothing style. I mean OG Monster High is a huge hit on there because of the fashion, people who never even owned the dolls or watched any of the media dress up as the characters all the time. When Garrett Sander was creating Monster High, he went out to alt fashion stores (Hot Topic lol) to see what was trendy with teens at the time. You can just kinda tell that that same effort wasn't put in with this new generation.
Obviously not every character had punk or alt fashions senses, but the main thing is you could immediately get a sense of their personalities just by looking at them. When I tell you I have NO idea what Clawdeen's new personality is.
Another aspect of that is if you tried to mix up the original characters clothes it would look wrong because it wouldn't fit their personalities. Clawdeen dressed in Draculaura's clothes and vice versa would look so strange because we know they'd never dress that way. (The Fusion Inspired line is a great example of this actually. The dolls look so wrong because they're not dressing like themselves, they're literally impersonating their friends) The Creepover dolls in particular rely so heavily on colors and patterns to distinguish the characters, because if you look at that line you realize they're essentially wearing the exact same outfit. And they overdo it. A friend pointed out to me that Dead Tired kinda did the same thing
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If you boil it down, they're all basically wearing shirts, capri pants, and slippers.
But look at the details!
Clawdeen's shirt is ripped and cropped. Draculaura has puff sleeves, and bows, and ruffles. Lagoona's pants have little slits in the sides for her fins. Cleo's slippers have little golden crowns. Ghoulia's little printed on suspenders and bow tie. Not to mention these look like actual pajama sets! And when they did expand the line they added a lot of variety in what the characters were wearing. In comparison the Creepover dolls just look...generic? Idk, like the designers were just like "Let's put them in pajamas" instead of being like "How would these characters wear pajamas" if that makes sense.
Ugh, this was really rambly, and I apologize, so I'mma cut it here cuz I know I could go on for a while. To summarize I just don't think these new designs have a lot of thought put into their designs or what they're wearing.
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thyenemybeloved Β· 5 days
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What does Shaozhen even look like?
Hello! Thank you so much for the ask :D I definitely plan on posting a sketch of him in the near future and there are still a few things that I must decide on about his final design but I'll try to answer your question as accurately as possible!
Appearance-wise, he's very much a fusion between my own version of Sanzang and Wukong (that you can see in said previous post I made): he's closer to Sanzang in size (1m70 as opposed to Wukong's 1m60) and looks more human-like than Wukong. Basically, where Wukong looks very much like a humanoid monkey demon, Shaozhen looks more like a human with monkey-like features (like his nose/mouth area and ears are more monkey-like, and he also has fangs and claws), he has white/blond/light-colored fur covering most of his body (not as much as Wukong's though) but he's missing a tail. He has similar eyes to Wukong's but gentler and his sclera is lighter with blue (?) irises (still haven't decided yet). Overall, despite his demonic heritage, he kinda has an angelic/saintly air about him, "pure" for a lack of better word. Since I picture both Sanzang and Wukong as being rather beautiful (though in their own, different ways), I also imagine Shaozhen to be the same but I will need to draw them side by side to really differenciate the different ways I imagine them to look, which is similar enough to notice their relation to each other but also different enough that they all look unique and like their own person, which is difficult to put in writing alone.
(Although, bear in mind that in my story, he's only known as Sanzang's child at first, which is already taboo enough on its own given Sanzang's status as a monk, and not Wukong's, which is why Shaozhen usually hide his appearance. He's already being ostracised and shamed for being the son of a monk, especially one as famous as Sanzang, and since he and his group are often relying on people's charity during their travels, he cannot afford to let people know about his true nature as it would both further compromise Sanzang's reputation as well as his group's ability to find shelter and whatnot, given that they're all demons and Shaozhen is considered the only "normal" one in their group.)
His clothes are honestly the coolest part of his design in my opinion: he wears long, all-white robes that covers the entirety of his body and a large straw hat with a long, half-opaque white veil that mostly hides his face from view. He also wears several pieces of golden jewelry that are actually power limiters, kinda like Wukong's circlet. He's known to never reveal his face under any circumstances, which he likes to claim is because of "spiritual reasons/modesty", which causes a lot of people to gossip about him but he honestly couldn't care less. Underneath his robes, he wears a black, sleeveless turtleneck shirt and combat pants for when he needs to fight. Basically, he looks very regal, elegant and refined as per his monk status but when he's angry or fighting, all this refinement goes of of the window. He's also way more laidback when in the company of his friends alone, it's just that he has to pretend a lot and be composed most of the time, lest people find out his secrets. Shaozhen is also never seen without his fan and antique cigarette-holder because he's classy like that.
There you go! So sorry this got so long, I know I kinda rambled a lot but I was pretty excited and this quickly got out of hand lol If you ever have more questions about his appearance or want to know more about his personality or his relationships to the others in their group, do let me know, I'll be happy to answer you again! I hope this was a satisfying answer and if not, stay tuned for future art posts about this AU! Thanks again for your interest :D <33
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phoenixcatch7 Β· 1 year
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I want to write. A saiki k x superman crossover. SO BAD.
Luckily for me, I have actually seen both shows/media (to an extent), which feels increasingly rare these days lmao. I've got two ideas, and I don't know which one I like more. I will say this ended up being a LONG POST.
Either an accidental dimension cross, where saiki gets teleported to dc. He spends a couple hours figuring out what's going on, exploring his options and getting important lore via telepathy, but without being willing to mind control some hotel for a room or whatever he winds up people watching atop a skyscraper in some American city, just absorbing the concepts of public power use and heroes and aliens and all sorts. Reflecting on it's differences. That's when Clark decides to check in on this kid who hasn't moved for hours on patrol. Their heartbeat is calm, no stress, so he wasn't worried but he really should check.
Saiki, of course, has heard all about superman. What's available to the public, at least. An alien. He might feel better if he were an alien, at least then he'd know why. He doesn't really expect him to appear, but maybe he should have. Because it's only seconds after they greet each other and superman moves to sit down that saiki is hit with a plethora of background subconscious that's he's so used to himself. 'check your grip don't react move slower look away from the skeleton check your grip you didn't hear that relax your eyes you'll need to reapply bruise makeup after yesterday check your grip don't get distracted ignore ignore ignore-'
Ah. Maybe here. Here is someone who... Might understand.
I think they'd get on very well. Secret identities because you just want a normal life. Sometimes you can't help to help. You know a million private things you shouldn't and it's not your fault. No one ever shuts up even when they're silent and you're living in a world of cardboard. Superman would definitely check saiki was actually human XD. Maybe a bit of banter. Saiki gets to vent and talk and supes gets someone who isn't a blood relative lol. They talk until sundown and watch the shrimp colours and after Clark treats saiki to something sweet.
The other is a world fusion au, where saiki grows up alongside aliens and demons and maybe superheroes. Would it be better if he was the same gen as the jl or maybe younger?
What if saiki was kryptonian though. Some weird flavour. And his parents never think about it because baby saiki decided they were his parents and so they were. They just found a weird hunk of metal in the mountains on their honeymoon and little kusuke was so young he'd clean forgotten he had a new baby brother! He got over it though! So saiki grows up not knowing and eventually finds a cheap germanian ring, with a fake emerald in the center. It's blissfully silent, but wearing it too long makes him feel a bit nauseous. To be fair, blocking his own powers probably isn't very healthy. He heard there would be an eclipse tonight, over the ocean, and he wants to go see.
He's not alone. There's someone else there, also flying high above the ocean, hundreds of miles away from any land mass. His thoughts are - blurred, a bit faint, like a radio channel he's not properly tuned in to.
The other person, they noticed him too. They're miles apart, it shouldn't be possible. Another psychic?
I don't know which way it would go from there. If it was a same age, it'd be before everything hits the fan, narratively. Saiki and Clark would spend after school going to each others houses (though 80% of the time saiki would be the one going to Clark's) across continents, bonding and testing each others powers, getting into petty challenges. They both would be so good for each other, as equals, and saiki especially needs healthy friendships at that age. Then Mrs Kent mentions how Clark was found one night over dinner, blindsiding saiki because it just never came up in their everyday lives. Everyone assumes saiki was too, that he must be whatever Clark is, but he's not...?
And then they find the fortress of solitude. Meet jor el. And yeah, he very much is.
Psychic, yes. Human? Not so much. In fact, his parents were famous oracles who predicted the death of krypton to such an extent they were dismissed as fear mongers despite their powerful abilities. Jor had shared ship tech with them but never knew if they managed to use it.
Featuring several major identity crises for poor saiki and eventually a hero partner because Japan might be left mostly alone but metropolis sure isn't and unlike saiki supes can't duplicate himself (he's holding out for a yet but saiki just rolls his eyes at him when he says that). There's eight people who found the jl. Saiki REALLY likes mm. Batman is a traitor to normality.
If it were canon ages, there'd be a lot of mentor adoption. Saiki would appear helping to stop some alien invasion with his bare hands and then bows and tries to duck away. He isn't interested in hero stuff no siree but supes keeps politely tricking him into coming round to the farm, where he meets kids in similar situations (bcz supes adopts kon here f u) and sees how they handle it. Lots of tag teaming and attempts at pranking that all fail the saiki k way. There's so much else in the world they don't doubt saikis just Like That Psychic until he brings his ring. They all hone in immediately that 'that's kryptonite' and saiki maintains that it's the metal not the gem that muffled him until someone straight up steals the gem off the ring and he freezes in horror.
Lots of hijinks including 'you're supposed to be in school! Not JAPAN' and packs of overpowered teenagers roving the Japanese mountains looking for a possible krypton pod. Kusuke is feeling VERY VALIDATED RN and also incomprehensibly furious. It's a comedy of errors whenever any of them show up at saikis school or when he's with his friends. His parents remain oblivious while he grapples with either telling them he's adopted (painfully ironic), somehow undoing a decade and a half of mind control, how he'd even go about it... Makoto wakes up one night in Brazil because he made a comment in his house when kon was staying over for tea at saikis.
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emilyrox Β· 1 year
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im sorry, now i gotta know, do you have any other headcanons? for iswm or just markiplier characters, i'd love to hear any you have!
Okay so first off, you know my sexuality headcanons for the ISWM characters? Yeah I went more in-depth with them here:
I would like to thank @zee-the-zebra for enabling me to go off about them :)
Second off, not really a headcanon, but more of a theory about ISWM and the MCU lore as a whole:
Once again, would like to thank @zee-the-zebra for sending the ask that prompted this.
~
Alright, more sexuality/gender headcanons!
Wilford Warfstache (Pansexual): Real reason: Because I said so. "Logical" reason: He has had affairs with multiple women, including Celine. In WMLW, he casually asks Abe if they had dated at some point. So he's down to be with anyone. Also his stage lighting in AHWM was the pan colors, and he was wearing rainbow suspenders. Those colors give off an immediate pan vibe for him.
I'm also a hardcore Darkstache shipper. In MarkiplierTV, Wilford doesn't listen to anyone's opinion except Dark's. He only cares what Dark has to say.
Random Headcanon time: Wilford's favorite way to express love is touch. Stroking their partner's hair, kissing them on the head, cheek, lips, etc., picking them up and carrying them, cuddling, etc.
Darkiplier (Nonbinary Bisexual): Real reason: Because I said so. "Logical" reason: They're the fusion of a man and a woman (Damien and Celine). The gender-binary means nothing to them. A lot of people headcanon Damien as gay and Celine as straight or bi, but I propose: both of them are bi. Therefore, Dark is also bi.
Once again, hardcore Darkstache shipper. In MarkiplierTV, Dark says that they respect Wilford, and always have. They also call him "Wil," a nickname. I headcanon that Dark only gives nicknames to those they deeply care for.
Random Headcanon time: This goes into a headcanon for both Damien and Celine as well. I think that their time fused as Dark allows them to realize that they themselves aren't cis. Idk if that means they're also nonbinary, or if Damien is a demiboy and Celine is a demigirl, or if they fall somewhere else on the spectrum. That I have to think more about, but in general, they both realize they aren't cis due to their time as Dark.
Actor Mark (Straight (or is he lol)): Reason: because I said so. "Logical" reason: So assuming Heist!Mark and Date!Mark are both characters he plays and not their own egos, those characeters are the same ad Engineer Mark: pansexual. But Actor himself I see as straight (or at least that's how he identifies). He has only shown attraction towards Celine, a woman (pre-Dark). He also apparently has kids according to the meta ending of ADWM, but I don't if they are Celine's or someone else's.
This gets me wondering though: Does Actor feel some sort of attraction to Dark? If so, is it solely because Celine is a part of Dark, and he only likes Celine, or does it end up being more than that? This is why I put "or is he lol." I don't ship Actor and Dark btw; this is just something I've wondered.
Random Headcanon time: The only Y/Ns he has had a small legitimate attraction to are the ones who present themselves as fem.
This is getting very long, lol. If you want any headcanons that aren't sexuality related, send me another ask! I will provide more!
Thank you for enabling me, @frayro-called-frey!
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nebulaleaf Β· 1 year
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goodbye persona 5 royal. after 121 hours (140 on my switch profile) i got 69% of thieves den achievements, 99% in the compendium, and took 910 switch screenshots (third sem having a recording block really cucked me fr.) I think I did as much as i possibly could. despite my gripes this was my most fulfilling playthrough i've ever done of P5. i have a lot of bad things to say about royal but i really did have so much fun with it. getting excited over the new moves with the grappling hook (guessing where the cutscene would be and having fun being technical with chains de hook), making more strategic personas with fusion alarms, using all that extra time p5r gives as efficiently as possible. I loved maruki's confidant even if it ended in a kind of mediocre palace. he's just a fun guy who's so naturally inserted into the story it feels like he Should've always been there (except for the end). though its a shame because of how his confidant is structured in terms of topics, you cant easily insert it into p5 (its basically just a huge foreshadowing/ general set-up for the themes of 3rd sem). akechi's though... akechi's confidant and the addition of kichioji was WONDERFUL and i'd have killed for it in vanilla. im so glad for it. its such a fun place to explore and i love all the new npcs; penguin sniper was fun to play (though i hate playing with akechi, esp because its useless to) and jazzjin's gameplay elements were REAL FUN TO MAKE BUSTED ASS TEAMMATES WITH. no more what-ifs is also... a good song. i think i might even add it to my personal faves playlist. i'll have to sit down and listen to the ost when i don't have a headache. anyway there's probably a lot more good things i can say, but my head is kind of muddled rn lol. that post-game feeling fr.
ahh, but even when it comes down to the bad, like kasumi-- groaning every time she came on screen was fun in its own way too; whether it was laughing at the hilarity of it or coming to tumblr and grumbling about it with whoever was following along with my posts that day. honestly i just wish they tried a little harder with her and we got to know *sumire* instead of kasumi a little more. reading the interview where the devs admitted to her just being a marketing ploy and how they treated her as such really is crushing. its kind of a reflection of royal as a whole in a way to me. care *was* put in; i can see the heart behind a lot of this, but it's more focused on being flashy and appealing to those who missed the first wave of p5dom; or trying to draw back in those who have already played. which... is the point of a video game definitive edition, but kind of ironic when presented against the morals p5 seems to stand for. (or tries to, anyway. corporate meddling and cultural norms... this is still a video game that needs to sell.) i know i shouldn't treat silly anime game #685 that lets you date a maid-teacher as an 'art form' but i always felt p5 had a pretty solid and profound message. so to see royal trample p5 vanilla and then dance around wearing its skin is... certainly something. i know they're technically the same game, so royal has those messages too, but they get all tied up in the new stuff that royal brings forth (and doesn't deliver on. lmao. lol) on top of the already shaky at times writing p5 came with. i guess what im just trying to say is that royal's content is good... but it's being too much. and that just makes me really, really sad. despite all that, royal still kind of rekindled my love for p5 that was already present. every new playthrough for me lets me look deeper into what i like or neat details i missed; seriously i always find something new when i come back to this game. but this was especially true in royal. i found myself noticing when the tiniest detail was changed and it was always fun to compare them, even if it devolved into a tangent. i really only am disappointed like this just because I love persona 5 as a whole *so much*. its everything to me, so i want it to be the best it can be, yknow? anyway, thanks persona 5 royal. you've been a journey in multiple ways. try as i might, i won't forget you.
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disneyhighau Β· 2 years
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Here's your ticket to dumping info on that AU! Additionally, two actual questions; how often do you think they actually fuse, and how does it hinder regular day-to-day stuff?
Having extravagant walking/flying/floating giants around semi-occassionally must be a real pain on traffic πŸ’€
I have had this ask hoarded in my box and since some guys are cleaning out my vents i have no acess to my computer rn so...
Fusion au!
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*me leaping out of my hole with content that caters to me specifically
All of it under cut cause its a lot
So the entire au is pretty much set in the DH world and im ashamed to say ive invested too much brain power to it.
But the way it comes about is Skully and Zazu are kind of a thing and just starting to come into their feelings and one day Skully buys them a pair of matching braclets he finds. He thinks its a totally normal present to get your platonic?/romantic??? pal, bud, cherished person, guy you hang out with a lot.
Until Timon tells him its pretty much a friendship braclet and actually really dumb. So Skully gets all self conscious and tries to take it back but Zazu lets him know he actually likes it and is still wearing it. They have a heart to heart and that triggers the braclets and makes them fuse for the first time.
yeah so its totally ripping off the relationship parallels in SU but in this the jewelry is whats needed for it to work. Where they came from is a mystery but something something legends say they contain bits of the gods powers in the jewels and the gods gifted them to their followers so that they could use them in times of need. They need more than 1 person to work cause no single person could handle that power.
So thats why i reason all the fusions designs look like gods or famous mythical figures. But really i just think its cool to make things reference something else.
But anyway. They fuse and freak a little but as soon as they figure out they can fly theyre all "Lets just keep this between us."
Then Monsters start showing up cause they have to fight something lol and more jewelry pops up and more friends fuse.
For your question, they dont fuse often at first, only occasionally in the dead of night so that people won't freak out about the giant bird man spotted in the woods. Until one day students spot him and confront him about it. After the first monster fight they're crazy about him and through the students the othwr teachers find out and are put in fusion related situations cause they either borrow the bird's braclets or find their own. But otherwise, no one fuses unless its an emergency. Zazu and Skully eventually do it anytime they want tho cause they like it so much
I have a Mulan and Peter fusion based on Sun Wukong and a Peacock and Sarabi fusion based on Anansi i need to draw but basically the more they fuse, the more powerful and self aware Peacock gets until hes basically his own person coming into Zazu and Skullys dreams telling them about the impending world destruction unless they fix it lol
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marshmellowtea Β· 1 year
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anyway i keep complaining about the killing eve inspired who's lila au living in my head rent free so i might as well. fuckin. make a post about it lmao
putting this under a cut because holy fuck this got long (and this isn't even everything, if you can fucking believe it) (also warning for some mentions of ableism, if there's anything else i need to warn for lmk)
honestly i never watched all of killing eve nor do i really remember most of the plot so i'm calling it "inspired by" rather than a fusion au or something because it's just become more and more its own thing. really this whole thing kicked off because my brain went "hrhrhghg. lila (and will by extension) wearing pretty outfits and killing people while tanya tries to figure out who the fuck she is. mommy issues. sapphic girls. send tweet" and that's the basis this thing was founded on lol. (i was correct for this btw, in case you were wondering /lh)
will and lila do share a body in this au but i'm kinda flip flopping between whether or not they're a system or if i wanna take this further away from the source material and add supernatural elements to this where lila is a tulpa/spirit/whatever tf she is that latched onto will like in their original canon. i'm kinda leaning toward the latter because i don't want this to fall into stereotypes about people with DID being scary or evil (like. lila isn't evil in this au but she does enjoy killing people which can frankly pose a Problem even if i do try to be delicate/more nuanced about it) but i feel like stereotypes can happen either way so i'm. trying to figure out what to do here ahgkldjglk. this is another reason this au was originally going to stay solely in my head but honestly i developed too much to keep it bottled up so HGDKSJFKL
either way they share a body but lila does all of the killing because will is squeamish and frankly far too sweet to be a murderer lmao. they have a way better relationship here than the one they have in canon, they're more like friends or siblings and lila goes out of her way to protect will......even if she can be a bit careless with their body sometimes. when she does get injured on assignments though she tends to get him a treat (things like clothes, food, stuffed animals, toys, books, games, etc agere stuff too because that slipped in here OOPS) to try and make up for it, though honestly, sometimes she gets him things just because. their apartment is littered with things lila bought (or stole....) for him at this point cuz it's the way she shows her love for him basically. what else is she gonna do, express it verbally? fuck that lmao
i was kinda agonizing about this choice but yu is their handler/the one who gives them their missions, and also their surrogate father figure because of course he is lmao. i was kinda worrying about this being ooc for him but then i realized like....he was part of the group that killed the rest of the lawrence fraternity, which regardless of intention is still murder ahglkdjsf. i feel like a lot of people gloss over how morally dubious that was, even if it was almost definitely his best option given the circumstances, so i'm just taking that same logic and bringing it here--lila was trained to kill by and for the lawrence fraternity in this au, and once they're gone (either by dying, arrest, or something else, maybe she just runs from them idk that could be interesting) she just continues killing because it's all she knows. since she refuses proper rehabilitation, yu here is like "look, if you want to kill, we can find some people we need you to kill as a last resort, and we'll even pay you well for it. please stop killing random people you choose to pick fights with" ahdlkjlkJFD. also, having her technically employed by him helps keep her and will close so that he can make sure they're safe because he worries about these orphaned teenagers okay :'))
tanya's role here is kinda nebulous here, originally she was going to be an agent tracking lila down like eve was but i didn't wanna bother messing with these character's ages (i ALREADY have an au where they're aged up to their mid twenties for the sake of plot so give me a break lmao) so now she's more like.....technically a witness who decides to get invested in the case despite being like 17/18 and having no expertise lmao. like in the og killing eve i was thinking maybe she meets lila in the bathroom before she kills someone and thus becomes obsessed with her when she realizes she's probably the killer? i have to work on her more idk i just want these two to be weirdly obsessed with each other and for tanya to frantically hunt her down with her limited resources before they eventually meet and KISS about it
tbh as an additional motive for tanya i have been toying with the idea of martha being the one lila kills since that's her friend and it would fit with that one who's lila scene BUT two problems: 1) i would have to come up with a reason for lila to have to kill martha and i can't. really think of a good one especially if yu is the one giving her orders, and 2) i would just feel really bad about doing that to her. hgdalksjflksadf. she might be spared solely on my guilt alone honestly, we'll see what happens.
anyway that's the basics of the au i just wanted to get this fucking word vomit out there. i may or may not post more about this later (or, god forbid, i might write an actual fic, could you fucking imagine lmao) but yeah. if you read all of this bless your soul i love you
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nerice Β· 2 years
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if you’re still doing those cursed oc asks. Kelly green, apricot, amethyst, cornflower blue & walnut for linn? :3c
❀️taste❀️
& am still doing nasty oc exposure hours if anyone wants to send me more wink uwu wonk :3
what is a time they got jealous?
high territorial levels but low jealousy levels bc nothing rly threatens her position (there's playful jealousy involved when it comes to gray's mild obsession w/ reina but it's more a source of entertainment in which she constantly enables him in it i.e. sneaking them into the masked ball etc. rly more her whims rather than Calculated Plan 2 get him close to reina but she enjoys seeing him Go Thru It) & same deal with faye,,,, the danger never rly manifested but if gray had actively gotten involved/drawn into faye's moon talk............ yeah. linn is not having that >:) but bottom line is territorial>jealous
do they have any vices? smoking, drinking too much, etc?
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^^^^^this at her core. more than anything a nymphomaniac to the core + all extremes that come with it redacted for public discussion, a glutton for any type of experience no matter if pleasure or pain. alcohol stays more of a sidebar activity, fantasy weed is in sporadic use but she carries blunts with her rather for the fun of putting them out on people than smoking em. there was an extremely ironic hardcore drug abuse phase & gray was having the time of his life watching her go thru withdrawal after that lmao. zamaa miro n all that lol
have they ever killed anyone? on purpose or on accident? do they regret it?
victim list longer than reina's hair & regular black swan murder-suicide activities etc etc. for an actual fun/new-info angle on this: post-memory loss !! when maheloas attempts to kill her, it displaces linn's soul out of her body (fun true ruler quirk. bc she cannot be killed but isn't aware of it at the time) & she hangs out in leah's body for a while, which exacerbates leah's already highly unstable soul situation [trying 2 pour all of a true ruler into a mortal=bad idea unless ur going for proper soul fusion like avery/garvith) so after linn is back to her own body leah's condition starts to worsen to a fatal degree & linn is not dealing with that well at alllllllll. first and only time she cries in canon :) unwittingly killed one of her two closest friends.
also as a fun (??) aside. this directly leads to sky attempting to stabilize leah with the soulsong until they get her to the mage societies, which in turn hastens sky's own bloodrot & makes her condition terminal by dream game. oops :))))))))))))))
what advice would a therapist give them?
stop.
describe the outfit(s) they’d find most attractive on another person
not picky in this regard! fun fact is that lingerie does little for her bc there's more fun in stripping people out of garments than appreciating what they're wearing. faye in a summer dress is hot bc's it's flimsy and alluring & makes linn want to peel her like a fruit. faye in power armor is also hot bc she wants to crack her open like a bug <3 gray can wear whatever he wants so long as he squirms pinned by her touch <333
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jesterofinaba Β· 2 years
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Sending Maruki and Adachi fusion thoughts into your head…..
Unprompted Asks - Always Accepting!
I forgot about this ask until thoughts for Maruki and Adachi fusion hit me like a brick again. Art and basic ideas for their fusion under the cut.
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Both Maruki and Adachi can be pretty unassuming when they want to be, and I imagine their fusion - at least in the real world - looks pretty much like a normal guy, partially because of that and partially because they're close and get along so well.
Because they have a healthy friendship, the fusion's actually surprisingly stable. Their personalities balance each other out: Maruki keeps the fusion from being too mean and Adachi keeps them from being a doormat. They're very nice and supportive, and smart and confident, and although they tend to ramble a lot about conflicting ideas, are generally pleasant and likeable. Here's their voice.
In the metaverse, they take on the costume above, complete with that stupid cape, but at least it's better than what Maruki wears in canon.
Oh, and they're just about the most powerful persona user to ever exist. Just look at the power Maruki and Adachi have separately, they have unlimited power at their fingertips when together.
Challenging them or their ideals while fused... if they don't like you, you'd kinda be snapped out of existence because Adachi takes away any of the fusion's self restraint. When challenged, however, they take it pretty well, and cheerfully wish you luck while commenting that you’re going to need it.
Their weapon is a rifle, used both in long range combat and to hit with in close range.
When left alone, their combined negative thoughts tend to be enough to split them up after a few hours or so. They're both pretty sad but will never admit it, so the fusion's like "guess I'll die lol" and splits from the tension.
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coccyodynia Β· 9 months
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things:
i cried so much last night that my eyes were so swollen this morning that they wouldn't open all the way and i was convinced i had pink eye, so i went to the dr and they said no they're just irritated and swollen that's it
i had a follow up appointment with my spine care team this morning and they said they didn't see any obvious reason for the pain i'm having so they're scheduling me a Ct scan to see the hardware from the fusion better bc it's possible the screws are loosening lol
in the meantime they did notice i have a bulging disc above the fusion which might contribute to some of the issues i've been having
they also saw signs of "wear and tear" which i dont like the sound of
so i have to do physical therapy and have another steroid injection or whatever and i'm not happy about either of those things
they did offer to give me a muscle relaxer prescription which i think will help
anyway
i had my annual review at work today and i got a small raise which is cool i guess bc i thought the owners hated me now but w/e
in one month i will be lakeside making s'mores and that might be the only reason i haven't offed myself yet
still not entirely sure what the fuck is going on with justin bc he got pretty overwhelmed when i asked him for clarity and he sort of shut down so for now i'm just taking it a day at a time, idc what ends up happening i just want him in my life somehow either way
ive been working really hard on my mental health stuff, my therapist has even said she can tell i'm taking it more seriously and putting in more effort than usual
im just so tired of feeling bad, and it turns out that sometimes journaling or making crafts (instead of getting drunk and fucked up) is actually fun
still having a hard time feeling really connected to people i love especially when i feel very much 'in distress'
not sure if that's just me or if it's an actual issue
i've taken my meds pretty gosh darn consistently for over a month now tho!!!! that might be the first time in my adult life i can say that
just really making a conscious effort to surround myself with as much of the things and people i love and it's helping
i haven't seen justin since pride and that sort of makes me sad but i'll see him soon probably
ok that's it guess bye
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reirubi Β· 2 years
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happy halloweeeeen
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