#love our usual life

[teplejtrouba]

i have managed to actually do a hobby for the first time in months. yippee

#executive dysfunction and depression are kicking my ass #like severely. i am apathetic about everything and so so tired. things that brought me the most joy are no longer available to me #like. i love you so much you are so important to me but i no longer have the ability to care or do anything about it #things i love the most are behind a glass door that i can't unlock. or break. #sewing and embroidery especially are like. things i very much love and aspire to do but they are SO time and energy consuming #i don't have the patience #i stayed up till 4 am listening to lenka králová's interviews with trans people and it made me a little hopeful #currently transition doesn't really feel possible and i kind of just want to die so. hearing from others who made it was important #i also appreciated the comments #because a lot of them are from cis people. who didn't really know things about trans people but are learning thanks to lenkas channel #and after hearing a bit about our lifes their reaction is usually to applaud the strength we have. to be ourselves #and it's heartwarming to read. that there are people who learn. and can empathise in some way. that not everyone hates us #'you only have one life and no one else is going to live it for you. so you better be yourself' or something along that was in one of them #most of the comments under every video are just people saying how beautiful Lenka looks and yeah. true #i love her

[mozart-the-meerkitten]

Hey guys, if you could pray for me and my parents I'd be really grateful. The last cat in our old brigade, Tansy, is almost 15 and at the end of her days. She tends to get sick from allergies during the spring and she's had a rough winter and she's just, she's not going to make it through this time and she's been SUCH a good cat her whole life that we're not gonna let her suffer through it to the end. We're hoping we can get an appointment to get her put down tomorrow (that sounds awful saying it, but she's miserable and I can't watch her suffer she doesn't deserve that), so we would really appreciate your thoughts and prayers.

#cats #tansy #tw pet death #cw pet death #the only good(?) thing about this is that it's not sudden like baby tulip #I have known this was coming and been preparing for it mentally for months now #she took a turn for the worse today tho despite all our efforts to help her keep going #I *think* she might have a tumor in her cheek that suddenly got very malignant #she has a lot of the symptoms #and I think that + the allergy sickness she usually gets is just too much for her #but she has lived a GOOD life #and she KNOWS we love her #she is INCREDIBLY intelligent #she's sid's adoptive mama #like she straight up adopted a stray half-grown half-starved kitten #and TRAINED IT #to be her friend a hunter and a guardian of our home #she literally taught sid everything he knows #I'll post a little memorial for her when she does pass with pictures #because she has such unique and beautiful coloring #she's a torti #and SO sweet #she is literally one of the best cats we have EVER had #I'll miss her terribly <3

[carpe-noctem-bitchess]

was it a sin to love you in our last lifetime my love, for which I am atoning for in this one?

#tell me where i can find you #sin #last life #our lifetimes #atonement #lovers #usual tags #dark academia #literature #spilled thoughts #writing #poem #poetry #reading #books #bookish #chaotic academia #my love where u @ bro #havent seen you since the last life

[jimmyspades]

Once I finish this complete rewatch and I feel the right amount of crazy I will rank all of Alan's girlfriends/flings/flirty unconsummated situationships. Because I have strong feelings about almost all of them

#top 10 the usual suspects. #then every human being on earth in the boston legal universe. #and then at the bottom. below the entire population. sally #I like Tara I like Kerry Washington's character I like Vanessa in her yellow dress #I love his thing with Denise even if it never happens #the judge idk she might grow on me this watch. I DON'T like phoebe 🔪 #the british redhead I don't remember her name..... mixed feelings like the judge. kinda sweet but she made him too.. unsettled #parker posey was fun #none of them are truly good enough for him. or right for him I should say. only me and my mutuals in our self-insert daydream universes <3 #or me in real life. <- embarrassing

[iknaenmal]

okay. today i will go on a difficult mission. i might not come back (will ask i friend if they want to hang out)

#IN MY DEFENSE ILL SAY THAT SHES A REALLY COOL FRIEND OKAY ? #shes like. so easy to talk to and shes so cool and she is so funny and shes the only person i know irl who is into homestuck!!! #well kinda #and she has had an extremely good impact in my life as in !! idk she has made me more confident? idk how to explain that #THE THING IS. i met her less than a year ago but shes extremely important to me and i love talking to her #and i would love hanging out with her more #SO. today. im gonna tell her that im gonna go watch spiderverse this aaturday and im gonna ask her if she wants to come #i will see her today bc we both go to a club for neurodivergent people #but im not gonna ask her there that would be stupid. also i would feel bad for not inviting the rest of our clubmates (? as well #i already do but hngggn. idk #anyways im gonna ask her later when i come back home it will probably be p late but thats okay #or hm. i usually stay longer than im supposed to stay and she does too i could ask her then but i probably wont :/ #WELL WHATEVER. #honestly im p sure i wont actually ask her.. the idea is nice but i dont have enough skills for that i think. oh well we will see #ikna talks #oops sorry for rambling. sorry sjssnsjskl

[michyeosseo]

Jang Semi-sshi, I wish you love your mother-in-law for a long time. May it be unwavering.                 – Lee Eunsung

Yoon Hae Young and Choi Myung Gil as JANG SE-MI & BAEK DO-YI LADY DURIAN (2023) 1.16

#kdramaladies #kdramaedit #kdrama #lady durian #durian's affair #yoon hae young #choi myung gil #아씨 두리안 #people (me) Died over the colours orange & green #insanity seems to be our standard normality #it's been A Day and she couldn't leave her be wth #on her other daughter-in-law's birthday to boot #my semi guarding against her feelings with that handbag for dear life #the usual placement is def not between them but y'know raw hurt and all that #i would have made a gifset - had they been endgame - of all the times doyi confirms semi's love for her #because one of the first things she said to eunsung after the grand afterparty confession #is a command to confirm on her behalf because she doesn't want to talk about it (THEN PROCEEDS TO BRING IT UP TO SEMI HERSELF)

[evilmagician430]

who up sinning their fest

#one of my worst recent hyperfixations i'll admit #and i dont even have an excuse like ohhh i used to read this back in the late 2000s before all the terf shit #no i got into it in late 2023 this school year cause i stumbled across the tvtropes page #and i was like 'sinfest'? isnt that the name of that terf Twitter comic? but the cover image showed a sick ass artstyle so i read it #and im just obsessed with it now its such a strange spectacle. its like a political cartoon and a newspaper comic at the same time #my fav era has gotta be late 2000s maybe early 2010s sinfest... hell maybe even mid 2010s sinfest if i ignore the sisterhood #now every strip is just about jewish people or calling trans women groomers #and almost every once-likable character is now canonically a terf and/or racist and/or antivaxxer etc #or theyre just not in the comic at all anymore like my dear criminy and fuschia #i hope we never get another appearance from them godbless #cause last time we saw criminy he was helping squig and slick break a terf out of she/her penitentiary. with fuschia's permission #theyre definitely the best part of 2010s sinfest. a bygone era #the best part of 2000s sinfest is the sharp artstyle and lil e just being evil #and the best part of 2020s sinfest seems to be. um. laughing at how ridiculous it is? its kind of hard to enjoy though. #i intend to stay updated on it because i like being able to say i've read all of sinfest start to finish #but man i gotta get an adblocker soon cause i read it on the official website cause idk how else to read it online and the ads are constant #really funny when ur reading a strip criticizing the prevalence of ads in our day to day life #not as funny when you remember tatsuya is probably making money off of them. so yeah im gonna install ublock #but the problem is i usually read it on my school computer to pass time. and that technically isnt my computer so i cant download ublock #anyways. i could ramble on about how much i love and hate and am obsessed w sinfest all day but heres some fanart of the characters. #id like to make my own headcanon version of sinfest aka sinfest if it was good #but headcanons arent enough... i need to kill tatsuya ishida #sinfest #squigley sinfest #monique sinfest #lil e sinfest #the devil sinfest #tangerine sinfest #images that are horrid to see and look at #mspaint

[birdmomblogs]

i… i couldn’t resist…

[ID: panel redraw of Linked Universe Warriors from Sunset Part 13. he is standing with his arms crossed and a smirk on his face. lines are rough and the drawing is fully coloured with minimal shading. noticeable changes from the usual Warriors design are that he is not wearing his scarf and his nose shape is now roman. end ID]

#HE #hello to the literal love of my life #birdmom doodles #linked universe #linkeduniverse #lu #lu warriors #lu wars #linked universe warriors #lu fanart #linked universe fanart #i’m excited with how the shading turned out!!! #i don’t usually shade but i’ve slowly been observing shading from other folks to learn #shout to ketchupkio for assistance with anatomy #i’m holding you so gentoly #🧡🧡🧡 #warriors my beloved #no… OUR beloved

[professionaljester]

love being 25 and not knowing how to socialize bc i’m autistic and off putting and cringe so no one wanted to talk to me/wanted to be my friend growing up so now i’m an adult with very few friends or ppl i talk to on a regular basis bc i never learned how to socialize or text properly bc no one taught me how

#abc shut it #vent #i’m so lonely it’s not even funny #my talking to myself has just gotten worse in the past few months alone #i just want some friends i can do watch parties with and play games with damn it #i’m so bored and lonely all the time #my life has just been work sleep and chores and it’s driving me insane bc i have nothing breaking up the routine #like it doesn’t help no one texted me bc i was poor and had didn’t get a smart phone until is was basically too late :) #like i know part of it is the depression but #idk i just don’t do anything when i get home #sometimes i do art sometimes i game but usually i just lose track of time staring at tumblr and the next thing i know my few hours— #after work are gone and i have to go to bed #like don’t get my wrong i LOVE my coworkers but i need some more friends within my own age bracket #like is it to much to ask for a group of friends that will watch anime and movies with me in our own discord server #like is that literally to much to fucking ask of the universe can i be allowed to feel like an actual normal human being that’s connected #to the human experience for once in my fuckkng life #and not feel like some sort out outlier that doesn’t fucking exist to anyone #i’m to a point where i think and feel like i’m not even real! lol #like idk i would just like there to not to be days where i literally don’t communicate with anyone #and know what to say when ppl DO text me bc when ppl do text me i half the time don’t even know what to say #and forget the message is there and get to scared to reply after too much time has passed like #i know it’s a me problem that therapy would help but im terrified that it won’t #that i’ll just be going therapy and still be a lonely autisic looser who doesn’t know how to communicate without being off putting #or being too much

[thatfaerieprincess]

Feel free to skip on past this, I’ve just gotta ramble for a minute bc i cant stop thinking about this kid from work last week. They were so much like me at that age (5-6th grade) that I didn’t know how to interact with them? I didn’t know what to say to them bc I don’t know what I needed to hear back then, what I would’ve WANTED to hear? What would I have even listened to? They were almost entirely silent and looked out at the world with a hesitant curiosity, but would pull back so fast as soon as you tried to interact w them. Little to no eye contact, face hidden in hair, always looking down, following others until they could strike off on their own and just quietly explore. Intently focusing on drawing any chance they got. We did an art project and they hunched over their piece the entire time and wouldn’t let any of us see it in progress, refusing to look up or acknowledge us if we asked to see it or to know what it was. Idk. I barely interacted w them while they were with us for those few days bc I didn’t know how? It almost hurt to try? It was like looking back into a time machine and i didn’t know how to tell them that it does get better,,, I still don’t even know if where I am is better, some days feel so unsure that I don’t think I’ve made any progress at all. But seeing that kid, idk. I’ve come pretty far. And it DOES get better. Maybe it’s not the best now, or even that great at all, but it’s better. I wish I could’ve told them but I don’t think they’d have wanted to hear it anyway

#im a rambling sam #I’m in a weird place again since getting here for this season of work #idk maybe I’ve been in a weird place all year probably #I don’t think I’m that far from where I was at that age but I know I am there’s just still so much further to go #one day I think it’ll feel easier but maybe not today #I do love working w kids but I’m considering going into horticulture instead of outdoor education bc I don’t know if I can handle this #I can #but god I don’t know #in my heart I’m still that exact kid and she’s still in there so damn anxious and unsure and needing to observe the world and everyone in it #just to get some sense of understanding of just what the fuck is going on around here #but by the time I’ve gotten a good handle on what is going on everything is already so set in place and my place is outside the system and I #I don’t know how to step into it #sorry sorry I’m still rambling I’m having a weird day I probably just haven’t eaten nearly enough in the last few days and I’m about to #start teaching on my own this week which is terrifying and I can’t stop thinking abt that damn kid I wish they stayed longer I think #we probably would’ve gotten along #but groups only come here for a couple days and then go home which is v weird after having the same kids for 3 weeks for summer camp #idk life gets better and it gets worse and sometimes u grow into the world a little more but there’s still a mute child in your ribcage #little hands pressed up against ur ribs like laying a palm against a bus window #I put my hand over my sternum as if we could press our hands together thru time #when I was that age I used to pretend to have someone around me like an imaginary friend but usually it was a book character that I liked #and I’d talk to myself in my head like having a conversation and giving myself motivation and assurances from someone else to me #and now I’m here and I still talk to myself like that but without the imagined friend as a buffer I just talk to myself in my head #now I’m the imaginary friend for the little Sam that lives in my chest #when I talk to myself I’m talking to her #I’m giving her the assurance she needed back then #the assurance I still need now #I am here for her so I am here for myself #this is getting poetically nonsensical maybe it’s time for bed

[heffrondriving]

does it ever drive you crazy just how fast the night changes

#listen kid me wasn't utterly in love with this dimpled dork for no reason;;; years later and he's still the same old goofball but cooler <3 #but logan's horrible british accent in bt love song was legit the thing i instantly thought of when i saw his story so this happened #also it took me three rewatches to understand what he was saying there at the end like. i thought he said 'incorrigible' at first which 💀 #why was he just randomly putting on an accent too sir here's a glass jar with twigs n leaves for u- #also i'm sorry to barge my grampie simpness on a logan post but KENDALL'S SIGNATURE EYEBROWS™ AT THE END MWAH MWAH LOVE HEART EYES 😍 #he's been popping up in everyone's insta stories (and carlos' posts as usual but don't get me started!!!!!) that lil look he does to james' #camera while singing time of our life serotonin for hours ;v; i love them The Both okay logiebear and kenny my first and forever faves hehe #btr #big time rush #logan henderson #kendall schmidt #rusher #nickelodeon #video #edit #meme #mine #kendall knight #logan mitchell #carlos garcia #s01e06: big time love song #logiebear #kendork #stop it forever #the brain of a cricket #don't worry this isn't gonna a kickstart to my evil fancam villain arc. i have no phone memory left for that rodeo 🤠🤙 #although i have a whole bunch of random showverse and irl video comps and clips i'd love to post soon if that's alright ;] #also i had to search up that meme lyric and???? i didn't know it was a 1d song????? lmao ironic. gets big time invasion flashbacks

[kris-mage-fics]

Thanks for the tag @queen-scribbles! I spent way too long playing with this picrew!

I'm going to tag @maytheratseatureyes and @aylaaescar! (No pressure of course!)

Top Left: Nissa is my first D&D character. She's Gnome Bard, and a very bubbly person. There's a lot of color and pattern because she's a maximalist. Unlike most bards, Nissa never gets her way through seduction because she's aroace and that would be too weird in her mind. Due to a phobia of being poisoned through food, she does all the cooking when adventuring.

Top Right: Harleigh is my Hunter for When Twilight Strikes. (A calls her Leigh.) Though she has the reputation for being 'the responsible one' between her and A, she has a well-hidden chaotic side. She used to believe that her work was for the greater good, but that's been called into question as of late and it isn't sitting well with her.

Bottom Left: Amira is one of my characters for Scarlet Hollow. She's Hot + Book Smart, and a very tired lawyer who's working her ass of to pay off her huge student loan (and Vivian's medical bills). Amira foolishly thought she could get some much needed rest in Scarlet Hollow, she was not anticipating dealing with spooky shit and she's not happy about it!

Bottom Right: Riley is my character for Our Life. They are a very sweet but anxious person. The only person in the game they look 'normal' next to is Baxter because they are a goth! Riley's love of all types of games led them to becoming a pro gamer. Later in life, they are part of a dev team for an indie game studio.

#Nissa has like five bracelets on and probably a dark pink or red skirt because she's a magpie lol #Harleigh normally looks professional but she took the assignment of going clubbing and ran with it - she was dressed to kill lol #I love how Amira turned out in this picrew! though her hair should be closer to black #I didn't originally envision Amira with glasses but when I tried these ones I knew they were perfect for her! #Riley's hair is usually in a fancy braid because braiding their hair is very grounding for them - but none of the braids were right #tag game #fun with picrews #d&d #when twilight strikes #scarlet hollow #our life: beginnings & always

[llumimoon]

i wanna thank you cuz now every third dndada post I see is the eah au and tht fills me w immense joy<33333

KQNWBEGWUAHHAHAHAA IM GLAD !!!! There is also So Much unseen content hidden in discord channels about this AU. I'm talking literally a weeks worth of nonstop discussion and plot building and character work. We have not even breached the tip of the iceberg when it comes to sharing things.

#ask #cute-as-buttons #ITS A LITTLE WILD HOW MUCH THIS AU HAS TAKEN OVER MY LIFE #whenrver this happens it's usually just me and nyx going wild over our au in the dms #but we've like infected the server and other people outside of it with this au its so wonderful JWBEEGUAHAHAHA #as we speak rin and i r doing very silly and funny things wih the doodler #eah dndads au #also idk if its ever gonna be posted but. im eating up all the writinf my lovely friends have done for this au #its so good i am so well fed

[pegasusdrawnchariots]

the eternal question: is scheduling w friends as an adult That Hard or am I just bad at it

#4 different people have left me on read today; 1 cancelled our plans 4 hours before we were due to meet #I've been sitting home alone for 2 days going insane. looking forward to One (1) coffee date & that fell through #idk why I'm taking it so hard this time I'm usually fine!! but I find myself wishing I didn't have the day off I wish I did have work :( #like it's tiring yeah but it beats sitting here not knowing what to do w myself #& I'm working all weekend & only leaving the house to see the doctor. oh joy #I've been productive ironing writing fixing the car. that's not the problem #I had 4 social plans this month. that's it #that's like seeing each friend once a month!! I can't keep this up!! #is this the norm for adulthood? :( #& on one level I don't want to bother people or be clingy #but on another level I'm baffled that they don't get lonely too #the news has not shut up abt the Loneliness Epidemic since 2021 #but if it's true why do so many people take so long to reply when I reach out? if they reply at all #I'm not going anywhere w this. idk #just one of those days #everything so fuck everybody suck :( #boomers got it right w the whole showing up unannounced at people's houses for a social call with a pound cake #now I have to go through 5 layers of bureaucratic bullshit to see a friend #assuming they don't cancel the day of ofc (((((: #I just wanna be like hello knock knock I am here. tell me abt yr life today & listen to mine & eat this cake #& the worst is when people are like 'I'm cancelling bc I'm tired xx' #OK A) u knew we had these plans for two weeks #but B) I'm tired too! I still love u ur still my friend! let us be tired together! #'I won't be social today I'm tired' my love we could watch movies in silence we could knit we could ball yr socks. idc #'I have to do the big shop today sorry' so do I!!! let us do the groceries together!!! #every time I've pushed someone to come out when they felt depressed or to let me accompany them when they were doing chores #they were like u know what I'm so glad u did this. thank u. this is way better than how I had planned this night to go #& I'm like any time!! I love u!! #& then it just happens all over again next time oh sorry I'm cancelling I'm busy I'm tired #like did u forget what a nice time we had last time? what changed? :(

[bloggirl8842]

I feel guilty pursuing a better and more comfortable life, especially pursuing a career in media, during this genocide

#i feel a bit guilty when I have a good day I feel guilty that I’m not constantly outspoken on platforms like instagram because I’m trying to #look hireable and I feel guilty that my more activist friends annoy the shit out of me though thats usually more about how they act as peopl #e. like my friend and her dad are staunch activists her dad keeps showing up to these big disruptive rallies and protests and i find him so #badass. she’s also so badass she’s funny actually our mutual friend told me that she was refusing to hang out with him unless it was at prot #ests. anyways. i want what I want but it’s weird to have a personal life and personal goals that I’m finally trying to live while also being #very aware of what’s going on #i think i get annoyed by the people who’re melodramatic. i have this friend whos so lovely but was just posting photos of herself crying bc #her jewish grandfather refuses to believe this is a genocide and im just like how did you not EXPECT that. i also have jewish grandparents a #nd I know what they believe and it doesn’t break my heart or because I expected it like they were born around the time the holocaust stopped

[aurosoul]

I finally met the founders of Figmin XR in person!!!!!! 💖💖💖

their names are Astra and Javier, they are a husband & wife duo, and their home is JUST as magical and tech-filled as you would expect from the creators of a futuristic, hologram-based sandbox application. every room was a mix of nature, technology, and childlike wonder. (they are also parents, and their kids use XR sometimes too!)

I got to try basically every cutting-edge XR headset that exists during my visit, and witnessed two of the most reality-breaking things my brain has ever been faced with:

1. with both of us wearing augmented reality headsets, Javier (pictured center in the first photo) pulled an animated gif out of thin air and handed it to me - just with bare hands. no controllers required. it was BEYOND surreal to be physically HOLDING a GIF. a GIF!!!!!!!!!!

and 2. I got to use ‘spatial mapping’ (AKA room scanning) in-headset. depth-sensing lasers & cameras around my eyes scanned the topography of everything I looked at, overlaying a green Matrix-style pattern onto everything in my field of view. I felt like a human scanner, and once the scan was complete I could project SHADOWS from virtual objects onto every real surface around me.

I spawned in an adorable virtual giraffe toy, and it was extremely brain-breaking to have a virtual object cast perfect shadows onto a wall, or a couch, or an end table, IN REAL TIME as I was moving it around. with shadows added, my brain fully accepted that the giraffe was a real object physically in the room with me.

ANYWAYS it was wonderful seeing all this cutting-edge tech used specifically for PLAY - and education, and accessibility, and bringing people together IRL, and paying artists, and assisting with everyday tasks, and just....... MORE good things! Figmin XR is built with such an optimistic view of the future, and it is forever going to be an honor that I get to contribute to it in such a significant way.

the future is not all bad. there are plenty of good things still happening, and being created, and yet to exist!!!

#incessant meowing #long post #me #picture journal #also SHOUTOUT TO MY SIBLING FOR TAKING THIS PIC HEHE #i brought them along just for fun and we became the first two artists to ever use figminxr room-scale multiplayer together in the same room #just casual historic tech moments happening willy nilly....... no big deal #anyways i am rambling as usual but i'm just EXCITED!!!!! #i have HOPE for the FUTURE and feel grateful that i'm working with people who have heartfelt goals! and who aren't in tech for the money!! #we are trying to get facebook/meta to sponsor our residency program #and i am REALLY hoping they say yes because i would love to take facebook's money and give it to under-represented artists #the next artist resident i hope to choose is a children's media author who also works in vr :) her work is kind and inspiring #anyways god these people need to have articles written about them. javier especially #figmin xr as a software has already made into into a big facebook article but people deserve to hear about it from his words i think #his life story is fascinating and it felt like being at a ted talk listening to him talk #they deserve all the success they've achieved so far AND MORE