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interstellarwizard2019 · 6 months

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Two Scary Stories For A Mac N’ Cheese

The gentle hum of a tuneless melody rang through the

the home of two of Earthbread’s zaniest Professors as Cheese Ball moved a line of Berry Pupas from their first container into a colorful Berryfly hutch that hung on her office wall. When she finished, she stood back and admired her work. Almost 45 Strawberry Sugar Swirl caterpillars have successfully pupated that day and have begun their next phase in their lives. The quirky professor turned her attention to a small to-do list that rested on her desk and proceeded to check-off a few item boxes.

"Okey-dokey…Pupated caterpillars: Moved! Student’s homework: Grrrrrraded! Cheesebeetle farm: cleaned and maintained!” Cheese Ball giggled as she checked off all of her remaining tasks for the day. She whooped and did a little victory dance when she realized she’d done all her chores for the day. Now all that was left was a shower, tuck her Lil’ Mac to bed, and drag her night owl of a hubby to bed before he passed out from exhaustion.

After a quick shower, Cheese Ball then took her son and showered him and put him in a set of butter tiger print pjs, to which he proceeded to ‘Maul’ his own mother afterwards…Cheese Ball could do nothing but scream out in agony and hold the ferocious beast in the air as its little ‘claws’ attempted to strike her.

“Oh nooooo! Someone help me! A hungry butter tiger is trying to eat meeeee!!! The Professor cried out in pain as she gently shook the heinous beast over her head and plopped him onto his bed. “The beast has been tamed!”

Mac N’ Cheese pulled down the sheets of his bed as Cheese Ball sat on a chair beside him, she tucked him into bed and handed him his stuffed cheesebird plush.

“Alright, kiddo, what story do ya wanna hear tonight?” She asked as she combed the green bookshelf on the wall with her hand. “We got: Cowboy Cookie’s Hoedown Throwdown, Cinderella Cookie, The dragon and the dancer, or how ‘bout-“

“Something…spooky!” Mac N’ Cheese squeaked gleefully, throwing his hands in the air as he spoke.

“Somethin’ spooky?! Kid, you’ve too much mustard, ya know that?” Cheese Ball scolded playfully, poking her kid’s nose for emphasis. “Why not the usual silly story instead?”

“Spooky story! Spooky story!” The tiny gremlin cookie demanded, throwing off the sheets and bouncing in the bed ecstatically.

“Okay! Okay! Chill, Mac! I’ll tell ya a spooky story! Just relax!” Cheese Ball soothed, not wanting her son to get hurt she decided to cave into his demands for a ‘Spooky story’ for just one night. “But don’t you start bouncing on your bed like that again, alright? Can’t have you cracking your dough before you even start preschool.”

The young cookie cheered and hopped back to bed, his mother let out a short sigh and looked over the bookcase again to try to find a 'Spooky Story' to read. "Well, Mac, Looks like we don't have anythin' spooky in your reading collection, so I'm gonna have to improvise here, sweetie."

Mac N’ Cheese looked tentatively at Cheese Ball, she rubbed her chin trying to come up with a clever story. As she hemmed and hawed a few stories finally came to mind. “Eureka! Okay, Lil’ Mac, have ya heard the tale of the Heartless king of the citadel or…the Golden Queen of the Scorching Dunes? Which one do ya wanna hear first, hon?”

“Both!” The young Cookie proclaimed. Cheese Ball pretended to be shocked by his answer, she dramatically placed her hand over her chest as if taken aback by his response.

“Both?! You’re really asking to get nightmares tonight aren’t ya, caterpillar?” She playfully ruffled her son’s hair before inching her chair closer. “But sure, I’ll tell ya both. Let’s start with the Heartless king.”

“Our story begins many centuries ago…”

In a land far, far away from ours, In an endless snowy tundra there is a kingdom forever coated in a thick blanket of eternal snow and bitterness. There lives a king born of malice and bitterness, the unfortunate result of the unholy union of licorice-tainted snow lion and a soulless warlord. He roams the strawberry jam-stained battlefield reattaching the limbs of the dead and dying soldiers and uses his sword to force their souls to come back to life as undead warriors that follow his every command. His roar is powerful enough to summon a powerful blizzard and every step he takes causes the ground beneath his feet to turn to lifeless ice.

The desserts that live under his reign tremble and hide whenever they feel his presence, for whoever catches a glimpse of the king's eyes have their minds broken and become strawberry jam-thirsty monsters that attack anything in sight. The cookies in his kingdom live in a constant state of eternal hunger, their dough has fallen off of their bodies due to the lack of food and unforgiving cold…to the point that many of them have resorted to cookiebalism! Hunting down any foolish outsider who dare enter their domain. Some say that they kidnap lost children and force them to become ruthless warriors!

There once lived a healer in a village by the frigid seas who did all in her power to help her fellow cookies, but because of the king’s dark influence on the land it was slowly becoming an impossible task. Then The Heartless King chose her to be the vessel in which she would carry his offspring; he even threatened to destroy her village if she refused. Without any other options, she reluctantly agreed and thus conceived his child, but sadly she lost her life during the birth leaving the poor boy in the care of his odious father making him grow up to be a sovereign of darkness.

It is said that the King lives deep within the cold walls of a citadel made of bricks as dark as his own heart. Not a single soul who enters his den ever comes out. “Why?” You may ask. Because if you so much as make the slightest sound, a single pindrop, the slightest breath…HE BURST OUT FROM THE SHADOWS AND GOBBLES YOU UP WHOLE!!!

Cheese Ball picked up her son from his bed and pretended to bite down on the side of his stomach which soon turned into her blowing raspberries causing him to burst into a fit of uncontrollable laughter. He squirmed as she proceeded to blow raspberries on his neck. Finally Cheese Ball playfully dropped him onto the bed and pulled the sheets back on him.

"Welp! That's the story of the Heartless King, bugaboo." Cheese Ball chirped, tucking him back to bed and planting a kiss on his cheek. "Goodnight, my sweet little prince!" As she got up to leave she felt a tiny hand grab her arm.

"Wait, what about the Golden Queen of The Scorching Dunes, mama? Weren't you going to tell me both stories?" Mac N’ Cheese asked. Cheese Ball sighed and sat back in the chair.

“Okay, okay, I’ll tell ya the tale…OF THE GOLDEN QUEEN OF THE SCORCHING DUUUUUUUUUUNES!!!” Cheese Ball bombastically announced, she dramatically waved her hands in the air for emphasis. Once more Little Mac cheered and got ready for his second story.

Hidden within shimmering sands, blazing hot deserts, and cheesy valleys, there resides a kingdom inhabited by cheesebirds, moles, and cookies alike, all of whom were ruled by a cruel Queen bound within a golden sarcophagus. She forced all of her citizens to slave away in her palace. The cheesebirds were made to use their little beaks to carve out statues of gold in her image, the moles were banished to the mines where they were forced to dig out clusters of gold 24/7, the cookies were made to work in the Queen’s refineries. The kingdom itself looked as if it had been abandoned for years, but in reality it was still inhabited but the citizens were so occupied with maintaining the Gilded Palace and the Queen’s many treasures day and night that they couldn’t take care of their own homes.

The Queen had a daughter, a meek little princess whom she created to act as a false goddess. She kept her bound within a golden birdcage hung high above the palace and used her to inspire false hope within the citizens to make them continue serving the Queen…until one day…the princess escaped her cage! It turned out that she…she…she…she fell in love with a mole scientist! And he had helped her escape the birdcage! The Queen was enraged by her beloved jewel’s disobedience, she commanded that she be punished immediately so she sent out two mole soldiers to kill both the princess and her forbidden lover. Not only did she stage their deaths as a murder, she pinned the blame on the moles, thus giving her every right to banish every mole underneath the soil ‘til time’s quietus!

“But that’s not fair! She made them kill them for her!” Little Mac interrupted.

“You tellin’ the story or am I, ya bard?” Cheese Ball playfully scolded, gently ruffling his fluffy hair. “Now, where was I?

“The mummy queen banished the moles for time’s quietness!”

“Ah! Yes! The banishment!” Cheese Ball exclaimed “And it’s ‘Quietus’, sweetheart. It’s a fancy way of saying the end of something or someone.” She cleared her throat when she finished.

Anyways, the Queen’s cruelty knew no bounds. Once the moles have been exiled to the underground, she forced the cheesebirds and cookies to pick up the work the moles left behind, they had their basic essentials of living withheld to force them to continue their labor. Their water was taken away by a dam, their food supplies were

buried deep underground within the mines, and their children had their futures planned out by the queen herself…But alas this was not the Queen’s cruelest deed yet!

Once every decade, on the hottest day of the year, the Queen opens the doors to the Gilded Palace to allow foolish wanderers in. Drawn by the allure of the endless riches that rest within the heart of the palace, the cookie shall enter a room filled to the brim with riches beyond imagination! All the rubies, diamonds, and pearls that could make one eternally rich with only a handful! But this was all a trap…

In the center of the room lies a golden Sarcophagus…it will be on the cookie to come closer…and closer…until finally…THE GOLDEN QUEEN REVEALS HERSELF!!! The revolting mummified sovereign lunges out of her gilded coffin and uses her living bandages to ensnare her victim, dragging them into the sarcophagus where she’ll steal their life energy and trap their souls forever in her tomb!!!

Once she finished her second story, Cheese Ball expected either a tired or frightened Little Mac, but instead…he was actually laughing! He was never the least bit spooked by either of her stories, if anything he was…enthralled.

"Hold up, you're still not the least bit scared?!" Cheese Ball Faux-Angrily asked. She picked up the giggly youngster and pulled up the back of his shirt. “Something must be wrong here, let me see what the problem is…”

She began to tap his upper back as if it were a control panel in a machine, even going as far as to make the cartoonishly exaggerated sounds of pressing buttons, in return Mac N’ Cheese laughed even louder and began to squirm around. Finally she pulled him into an upside down hug and pulled one of his feet to her ear like a phone.

“Customer service? Yeah, hi, I’m having trouble with my Spook-O-Matic 5000. I just told him two scary stories and he just laughed at them! Hello? Ya there?” Cheese Ball then placed her son in bed and proceeded to tickle his foot which resulted in even more laughter from him. “Looks like the slacker hung up on me!”

Finally, the little cookie let out a yawn and his eyelids began to feel heavy. Cheese Ball took this as her cue to lay him to rest. She tucked him once more, handed him the orange bird plush and gave him a kiss goodnight on the forehead.

“Good night, my sweet little rolly-polly!” She said and then blew a quick raspberry into his cheek.

“Good night, Mama…!” Mac N’ Cheese yawned as he curled up and slowly began to drift asleep.

Even though she failed to scare him at least she managed to tire out the endless ball of energy that was her son. She smiled at the sight of his peaceful slumber, she turned off the Safari themed lamp on his nightstand and quietly made her way out of his bedroom shutting the door as she left.

On the second floor’s balcony, Macaroni was busy gazing into his telescope to admire the night sky. With every adjustment he made he jotted down any slight difference in his notepad. While this wasn’t the colossal telescope from his observatory it still brought him a great amount of joy to gaze up at the stars. He heard someone open the glass sliding door behind him then they sat down next to him and then leaned their weight onto his side, he smiled as he immediately rested his head on their shoulder.

“Buonasera, Bella!” He greeted as he snuggled up to his chubby wife’s side and wrapped his arm around her waist.

“Good evening to you too, chunker!” She purred as she nuzzled his cheek. “Spot any aliens tonight, hon?” She asked jokingly.

“None yet, but I think I’m fine with taking care of the ones back in the observatory. After all, three’s a crowd!” Macaroni chuckled while Cheese Ball giggled at his joke.

“You’re really somethin’, Eh, Mac?” She enquired as she got up from her seat. “Anyways I already set our fierce little Butter Tiger to bed; That boy is getting bigger by the day!”

“Well, considering how big his old man is I wouldn’t expect anything less.” Macaroni chuckled as he patted his belly. He then got up and stretched out his back. “I take it you’re here to drag me back to bed?”

“Considering the fact that you’d pull three all nighters in a row if I don’t: yes. Yes I am.” Cheese Ball smirked as she followed him to their bedroom, making sure to playfully pinch his cheek. He made a slightly annoyed huffing sound at her remark.

“Hey! It was ONE time back in college, Cheesy! I had an important paper to turn in that week!” He retorted as he slipped into his nightgown and cap. “Besides, didn't you once stick a whole swarm of bees to your face back then, Captain Honeybeard?”

“Eh, fair point, babe.” Cheese Ball plopped onto bed and kicked off her slippers. “Still do though.”

As they both settled in bed, Cheese Ball pulled out a manila envelope from underneath the mattress and placed it between them, a broad smile spread across her face as she waited in anticipation. Macaroni sat there staring at it for a solid minute before slowly reaching for it and opening it, dreading what might be in it.

“Is…is it from last month’s trip, bella?” Macaroni awkwardly responded with a nervous smile, he’s seen similar envelopes Cheese Ball handed him many months before, he dreaded opening the bulging parchment for he knew what it contained, but he couldn’t resist his wife’s eager expression as she nodded for him to open it. He took a deep breath and carefully pulled it open and pulled out its contents. It was…surprisingly not entirely what he expected.

Sure, it contained what he anticipated: Pictures of untreated injuries, financial documentation, interviews from some of the watchers and even the declining state of several of the villages in the Dark Cacao Kingdom. Some were even ruined and the void of all life. Macaroni kept looking through, his eyes widening with every new bit of info he saw, until he saw what was by far the most bizarre set of pictures in the envelope.

He pulled out a stack of photos and immediately recognized who the subject was: King Dark Cacao Cookie. From the looks of it he appeared to be in his office in all of the photos.

The first set showed him standing in front of a ten-tiered Macaron tower that was placed in the center of his office. He was eyeing the whole delicate piece with his usual stoic expression, but he looked as if he were…struggling to maintain it.

The second set showed him taking a single macaron from the tower and taking small deliberate bites out of it with one hand and with the other reaching for another macaron. This slowly gained momentum until he was downright shoving whole macarons into his mouth without remorse, the ravenous look in his eyes made him look like Cream Lynx tearing into its prey. For every third or fourth photo he quaffed down milk from a large jug, beads of milk streaked down his face before being unceremoniously whipped away by the king’s forearm.

The final set was the smallest of the bunch. It showed Dark Cacao leaning back in his chair, a look of sheer regret and shame plastered on his face as he cleaned off crumbs from his face. Macaroni could see that Dark Cacao had actually undone his belt to make room for his slightly bloated stomach. In the very last photo he could see that the entire macaron tower had been picked clean of every single macaron, the only thing left was the transparent base of the tower.

Macaroni’s eyes widened with both awe and shock at the results of his wife’s investigation. The only word he was able to say in response to everything he’d just read was: “Wow.”

“Pretty impressive, eh? None of ‘em ever suspected that the jovial Miss Choco Ball was actually Professor Cheese Ball all along! Heck, I’m pretty sure they still don’t know it was me.” Cheese Ball proudly remarked. Secretly she wished she had actually come up with a better name for her alter ego rather than copy the name of the famous soccer player, but then again she did wait until the last minute to come up with a good name for the job… “Took a bit of persuasion, but I won both their hearts and their stomachs! They couldn’t get enough of my cooking!”

Cheese Ball sat on the bed as she put on her sleep cap before taking off her glasses. She then laid down next to her husband and planted a kiss on his cheek. He immediately pulled her closer and kissed hers before blowing a raspberry on her neck. She cackled as she attempted to squirm free from his grip, but only managed to give him more opportunity to hug her harder.

“NOOOOOO!!! M-Macaroni! STOP!!!” She pleaded, wrapping her arms around him and tickling his sides in retaliation. And now he was the one laughing hysterically too. This lasted for about five minutes until they both exhausted themselves and came to an unspoken truce. Cheese Ball panted as she snuggled up to Macaroni. “Okay, big boy. You win this round.”

“As always, dearest!” Macaroni proudly declared, wrapping his arm around her lower back and pulled her closer to plant another kiss on her lips. “I hope you don’t mind, but I somewhat overheard the stories you told Little Mac tonight and…I was wondering if you perhaps…based them on two certain individuals whomst you have slight tensions with?”

“Dark Cacao and Golden Cheese? Yes. Yes it is.” Cheese Ball flatly answered. “Came up with The Heartless King when I escaped the citadel and a group of kids captured me in the cave exit. The Golden Queen was…something I made up just now. What of ‘em, hon?”

“Well…I’m just a bit concerned about…the subject matter. I know you don’t necessarily like them or the group they’re a part of, but they’re still REAL cookies! One of which is to visit this kingdom any day now and…who you have deceived a month ago!”

Cheese Ball rolled her eyes and said: “Oh don’t worry ‘bout that big oaf! Dude’s not gonna care that I’m here; it was Miss Choco Ball that broke into the citadel, not me!”

“Yes, but you’re forgetting that our boy is the kind to parrot everything he hears especially if someone is interested in what he has to say. So…what do you think will happen if by some chance Mac N’ Cheese is to meet him and tell him the story and he starts to piece together that the story about an evil, sadistic king is about him?” Macaroni questioned, to which Cheese Ball almost deflated, but then she came up with another brilliant plan.

“Easy, Big guy! While King Grump Cacao’s staying here, we keep our sweet little cherub as far away from him as possible!” Cheese Ball declared, puffing her chest out in triumph. “Plus, Parfaedia has some pretty good pediatric therapists on hand so we don’t have to worry ‘bout any repercussions…maybe… hopefully.”

She slowly slunk back into bed as Macaroni turned off his side of the bed. In her eyes, her son was pure, he could do no wrong, but Macaroni was right, that boy couldn’t keep a secret to save his life. “It’s just a silly bedtime story, none of it was true!” she thought to herself “What’s the harm in that?”

What’s the harm in a story?

Yeah, things aren’t gonna go well for her…

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