#member again. which is what i was 10 years ago when i thought things were bad. it's so much worse this time lmao and it's like well | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

aokoaoi · 1 year

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pairings : neytiri x fem!reader.

warnings : avatar spoilers. avatar the way of water spoilers. fluff. reader is an annoying flea at first. platonic relationship.

— Neytiri definitely did not expect to befriend you. And that's what you thought as well.

— How did you two become friends you may ask? Neytiri asked for you assistance on something in the forest, you both go hunting, you almost die. And then the day after that, you started bother Neytiri and guilt-tripping her into talking with you.

"did you remember how you almost got me killed yesterday..? Yeah, you owe me for now." You skipped towards her, catching up to her pace as she seemed to be purposely avoiding you.

The fierce na'vi turns to you with wide, warning eyes. "I did not almost get you killed. You did that to yourself, skxawng. Not my problem you're so reckless." She huffed, turning away from you as she stormed away.

— That didn't stop you from continuing to bother her, though. You tried getting her attention more, and that meant getting in her way, interrupting everything she does, and even bother her when she's hunting. Very risky, 1/10 do not recommend unless you have a death wish.

— When you almost gave up, Neytiri finally gave in and started to acknowledge your attempts to talk to her. And by attempts, I mean literal attacks out of nowhere.

"Morning Neyney!" You perked, falling from the branch of a tree beside her. Neytiri merely glances at you, and then looks up at the branch you were waiting on for her. The branch looked broken, goodness why a branch that thick would break on someone so light as you.

"..Dont call me that." She states, regaining her composure as she began picking up herbs for something.

"Do you need help?" You questioned her, leaning slightly closer as you inspected the herbs she was picking at. Neytiri keeps a stoic face present, but she nods.

"Fine. Just don't be too annoying."

— and eventually, she warmed up to you. You were pleased your annoying antics didn't scare her away, but sometimes, she does remind you to tone your personality down.

— you both were two completely different. She was fierce and independent. Meanwhile you were gentle and 'annoyingly loud', as Neytiri said. But that didn't stop you two to be some kind of friends.

— when neytiri started trusting you with important topics, she also started showing you more qualities of herself. You learned that she was somewhat shy?. Which was hard to believe because of how she was always scary and stoic.

"Aww, are you blushing?" You cooed, wiggling a finger towards her direction with a small breathy giggle. Neytiri shoots you a warning look, trying to turn her face away from your perspective.

"I'm not. Stop talking."

"The princess is shy! So cute!"

"I said stop talking. Skxawng."

"Ow! Did you have to pinch me?!"

Neytiri grins at your pained exclaim, watching as you rubbed a stinging spot on your cheek where she pinched a few seconds ago. Secretly at the back of your mind, you were slightly happy you managed to make a smile etch through the girls face.

— half a year later, on a specific day, you saw Neytiri bring a different form of Na'vi if you squinted. The boy had a more muscular form and had hair above his eyes.. weird.

— it was then you learned he was of 'demon blood.' It didn't shock you as much as the other clan members, but you were confused. Even though you were very much lost, you didn't listen to the clan leader and his wife's words.

"I don't want to teach that thing our ways." Neytiri complained to you in the na'vi language as the 'demon blood' trailed behind both of you. You only gave her a sympathetic look, completely ignoring the fact she had just called Juke Sally..? A thing.

"Mothers orders." You only responded small. Neytiri groans, glancing at the man behind you two with a complaining look.

"Why can't you do it? You're loud and confident." She says, speaking English again. The man from behind perked up at Neytiri's words as you only laughed loudly at her.

"As if!," You sighed, wiping a tear from your eye as you died down from your cackles. Neytiri glared at you, her nose scrunching, displeased.

"Yeah, sorry mama's but he's your problem for now. You can come to me if you need any help though." You state, parting ways from the two was you jumped down the hometrees thick branches, and onto your hammock.

— she did, in fact come to you when she needed help. Too many times though. It was just simple things though like getting him to get used to riding animals without falling and the na'vi language.

— she got frustrated in helping him learn your language so you assisted her instead. And also fueled more of her patience so the poor guy won't end the day with a bruised eye. That was an exaggeration.

— at first you thought having that man into your friendship wasn't so bad. Until he started luring Neytiri away from your attention. That was a big no no in his steps.

"Go away!"

Jake stares dumbfoundedly at you as you clung onto Neytiri's arm while you waved a branch at him with a furious pout. He really didn't know how to react right now, but Neytiri seemed to be finding the situation funny.

"I'm sorry..?"

"Yeah you should be. Skxawng. Shoo! It's my turn to be spending time with Tiri." You harshly waved him off, your nose scrunching as he followed you two when you tried dragging Neytiri away.

"Are you deaf, boy? I said scram." You huffed.

"Neytiri's really supposed to be teaching me more skills today, soo.. I can't afford to just 'go away' like what you just told me to." Jake states, smiling at you as a way to come of as 'im not threatening, I swear'

You only hissed at him and flipped him off.

— and then the war started, but the Na'vi won, the humans lost and was brutally slaughtered by 10 ft blue aliens, Jake was Toruk Makto, he and your best friend now has a family.

— you first met your sweet godson and you almost died of cuteness overload. You really didn't, but you were crying. You held Neteyam in every chance you get and you'd always play with him.

— when the parents are doing something like scouting the areas and all that clan leader stuff, you would be na'vi-sitting your lovely little godson and daughter. You were definitely that cool and fun aunt(even though you're the godmother)

"Look, look, (name)! I caught a butterfly!" Little lo'ak rushes to your direction as your hair was being played by baby Tuktirey, showing you his hand as a butterfly wing slightly shook out of his hand.

Kiri slightly gasped at that, her big eyes widening in surprise. "Lo'ak! Let it go, it's hurting!" She scolded, stomping her foot furiously. Lo'ak only looks at her, confused.

"But why? I'm not crushing it."

"It's hurting! (Nameee)!, Lo'ak is hurting the butterfly!" The girl yells, tugging on the cloth in your waist as she pointed at her brother. The poor boy probably saw his life flash before his eyes when his sister did that. Oh he wouldn't dare ruin his image when it comes to you.

You only chuckled, petting the girls hair with one hand since the other was holding Tuktirey up. You crouched down to their level, and you signaled Lo'ak to come closer with one hand.

"Lo'ak, show me the butterfly." You ordered, though your tone wasn't scolding and serious, it was enough to make the boy obey your orders.

He opened his hand slightly, and it revealed a yellow winged butterfly. It's wings slightly twitched, as if it was feeling if they have their wings yet. And at that, the butterfly immediately flew away.

Lo'ak pouted at the escaping butterfly. "The butterfly is fine, see Kiri?" You called out for the girl, and she pouts in guilt.

And then Lo'ak shrugged his shoulder without a care. "Meh. I'm gonna go back to playing, (name)!" He informs before running away from you three.

Kiri was about to tell you something until her elder brother showed himself, his hands slightly clasped as if he was hiding something inside it. "(Name), look what I caught!"

He ran towards you, a wide smile on his face. He opened his hands, and the same yellow butterfly from earlier was shown. This time, it didn't fly away. The insect only flutters its wings, as if it were tired of what was happening.

You and Kiri exchanged looks, and then back at the butterfly.

— these kinds of experiences ended fairly soon though when the kids grew up. But when Tuktirey turned three, you had already adopted a child for you since you were not interested in getting a mate.

— despite already having new responsibilities, you and Neytiri still act as if you're still young and 18. But as you aged, you became less annoying and loud. But you're still that fun, wild girl.

— you can vividly remember the day when Neytiri confessed you were less annoying as if it happened a few hours ago. She said it so casually, you wondered if she was joking or not.

"You know, you became less annoying as you aged."

You stopped chopping on the ingredients for dinner, staring at her with a dumbfounded look. "I'm sorry, can you repeat that?" You questioned, tilting your head.

Jake chuckles, but immediately shuts up when you shot him a glare and continued to look after Tuktirey.

"..I said you're less annoying now that you've matured." Neytiri repeats in a different form of way, and you irked.

"Are you calling me old?"

"Kind of."

"How dare you!"

"What's up with girls and not wanting to be called old?" Jake muttered to himself, munching on a snack as Tuktirey watched the scene in front of her unfold.

"You think I'm annoying!?"

"You were."

"You thought I was annoying!?"

"You act as if you didn't know what you did to get my attention. Must I remind you?" Neytiru questions, raising her nonexistent brow.

You opened your mouth to respond, but then you remembered of Tuktireys presence. "No thank you. I'd rather break a leg than embarrass myself in front of my goddaughter." You state, huffing defeatedly as you continued to chopping ingredients.

Jake leans down to his daughter's ears, whispering something. "I'll tell you what she did, tuk."

"Don't test me, Sully." You warned the man, your ear twitching when you heard his words as you pointed a knife at him.

Tuk let's out a disappointed sound, frowning when she learned she wouldn't hear embarrassing stories of her godmother when she was younger.

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athene-owl · 4 months

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Dream Video Bullshit

I decided against my better judgement to watch Dream's latest video. Here are the main things I wanted to say - if I don't mention something it's probably because I actually agree with what Dream said or don't know/care. A lot of this is rambling and venting because I'm annoyed and refuse to give him/his fans anymore of my energy or time to polish up this post.

1:16 - Dream says his accusers will make it harder for 'real victims in the future' to be believed and I just need to say that this felt like a really brash and entitled thing to start the video up with. Now you wanna care about victims Dream? After what happened last year? We'll get to that.

3:40 - This is a very small thing but Dream says here that in one video while he was playing Minecraft muted, he was being 'interviewed' by a SWAT Team member next to him in the room and I just can't help but question the validity of this because how did this happen? You were swatted and had someone in the room with you asking questions and you divided your attention between that and still playing Minecraft? You didn't just stop playing to focus on the SWAT Team? This barely matters but it fascinates me.

5:09 - Dream really goes out of his way here to point out that his speedrun cheating was discovered by a cheater and plays a clip showing how illegitimate this guy's speedruns were. This absolutely feels like him shifting blame and trying to paint this rando as a bad person to somehow excuse his own cheating which he says was unintentional. At 5:30 he says him and a developer had ruled out him using a mod - how did they determine this when he WAS proven to have used a mod and insisted he didn't realize? He doesn't elaborate.

6:30 - Here Dream acknowledges his behavior towards the speedrunning mods was bad and takes responsibility for it which is good but does not erase all the drama and bullshit he caused. When that whole thing went down, his stans passionately took his side but now that he's admitted to acting wrong they are fawning over his maturity - you guys sure didn't have a problem with it back then. At 6:40 he makes the point that the speedrun was 3 years ago and a lot has changed and I just don't see that change when he's still causing dumbass drama every week. Good on him for taking his videos down and apologizing to the mods but, again, his stans were all enthusiastically on his side then so I don't want to hear them now praising him for doing the right thing when clearly his behavior wasn't enough to turn them away from him 3 years ago. This is a trend with Dream's stans.

10:02 - Here Dream admits he was wrong to immediately and publicly disregard the info dug up about his domestic abuser friend which OK, good to admit, but 2 things - 1. Why, only a year ago, were you so quick and eager to disregard reports of abuse and 2. How did the fandom react to this. Again, if people took his side and disbelieved the victim, they can't now be so proud of him for admitting he was wrong. This does NOT instill confidence in me that him and his community would take later allegations against Dream seriously. Hot take, but I really think his initial response was despicable, irresponsible and I just feel sorry for the guy's victim in all of this. At 11:48 he pats himself on the back for how he handled the situation (besides initially brushing off the evidence) and ends with "I made it clear I didn't support domestic violence even at the detriment of one of my oldest friendships" and I'm sorry but given how Dream conducts himself, that feels like a manipulative little ploy to look good and garner pity for doing the bare minimum. Again, how many of his stans leapt at the chance to brush aside abuse reports and documented evidence and what did he do?

EDIT: Previously I thought the info on the friend was revealed by the victim herself speaking up but I was corrected on this and now know it was the friend's info being leaked and people snooping. Check my reblog for more info.

15:00 - He defends his Snapchat use with the fact that he promotes content on there but the photos consist of him doing random shit in his day-to-day life so I fail to see how that promotes his content rather than feeding his fans' parasocial relationship with him lol. At 15:20 he admits he isn't the one liking weird fanart on his account and 1. He's just admit he's been lying about running his own account for years and 2. Did he ever speak against the weird sexualisation in his community? Why did he allow his friend to keep liking weird shit, only messaging her to unlike it after the fact rather than laying the rules out? Idk this is just weird man. At 15:23 he shows a tweet by a defender of his stating that clearly he runs his account because if he had someone else running it, there would be a disclaimer. His fans gave him the benefit of the doubt and chastised others for not doing the same only to be proven wrong themselves lmao

17:08 - Dream claims he 'doesn't take himself too seriously' and I do not fucking believe that. This man has the ego of a planet and is lashing out at others every fucking week over it. Be fucking for real.

20:10 - Here Dream admits that him calling his fanbase 'kittens' was weird and he regrets it but also insists the whole 'Discord kitten' meme wasn't big back then and, this is purely anecdotal, but I absolutely think it was. Anyway, again, I wonder how many of his fans defended this back in the day and how many of those same people will now agree with Dream it was embarrassing and weird solely because HE now says it is and not because they can critically look at his behavior themselves. I'm skeptical of him insisting it wasn't meant in a weird way and he randomly chose the term 'kitten' because everyone back then instantly connected it to the Discord kitten thing but ok.

21:29 - Dream discusses the whole 'selling baby photos of himself' thing which I had never heard about before and am a bit gagged by. Anyway, here he specifically points out that celebrities have sold their baby photos before as if that helps his case at all, he explains the hard drive wristband thing was the product BUT it is still insanely weird and egotistical to me to include baby photos on that drive. He compares this to a biography but, again, this does not help the parasocial allegations because what the fuck has he done in his life to warrant a biography and what sort of audience needs this? I know this might be sacrilege to say but uhh this was objectively weird of him to do and he cannot sway my mind on that. Also for someone who doesn't take himself seriously, he sure was happy to quote himself on the hard drive???

36:09 - Finally into the more serious shit. Here, Dream points out the fact that Amanda was defending him when the whole face reveal happened 10 days before her allegations came out + liking his tweets 2 days before the allegations. I just wanna say this really means little, victims can be in denial or have complicated feelings. Also, at 36:18 he then says that she made her accusations because of the hate train following the face reveal and she wanted to get in on it even though he just said she was supportive of him and defending him? He's spinning this both ways - saying she was supportive to discredit her claim and then saying she suddenly hated him to also discredit her claim.

38:05 - He gets his mum involved to prove a point and I cannot emphasize enough how meaningless this is, even if its the truth you expect me to think your mother is unbiased and wouldn't lie to cover your ass?

40:06 - Bold of Dream to criticize Amanda for not treating the situation seriously when Dream stans are running around calling this shit a 'drontroversy'. At 44:20 he even says this isn't online drama. He also uses the image below as proof of her wanting him or whatever which 1. Doesn't matter when discussing underage exploitation because her behavior would never warrant her being taken advantage of and 2. Also shows him making weird sexual comments which he vehemently denied doing earlier.

42:12 - Dream asks how, if Amanda is dishonest about some things, how can anything she says be trusted? Why can't that same logic be applied to Dream for things he has no actual evidence for? He makes this argument again at 43:20 - if she's lying about the photo, how do you know she's not lying about everything else? Not a great argument from Dream of all people.

44:00 - AGAIN this man relies on victim-blaming rhetoric to make his point - "Go to the police. Or sue me. The standard of proof for you suing me is only proving that it's more likely than not that you're telling the truth. 51%. Come take my money." The insinuation that it's easy or simple for women to take men to court and sue them for sexual crimes is laughable and shows a real arrogance and ignorance to Dream. Again, regardless of how true the allegations were, women have gone to court with every type of evidence under the sun and still got nothing so what makes Dream assume this is an easy process? Do victims need to sue their abusers to be telling the truth? With all of his money and privilege, would Dream not be at a huge advantage in court? Weak argument that really feels disrespectful. At 44:15 he makes a little remark about how in court, her 'weird comments' and 'character' would have to be questioned and answered for. Despite the fact that any comments she made as a minor would be irrelevant in this case, despite the fact that someone's 'character' doesn't automatically determine whether they're a victim or not, this is also a funny comment because he's right - yeah, in court the female accuser would be picked apart and judged for shit that doesn't matter. Good thinking there Dream, really making your case!

44:25 - Here he gives a little lecture to Amanda about her hurting 'real victims' and again, as a reminder, this man publicly disregarded those concerned about intricate reports of abuse, has watched as his fans doxed and abused countless people and yet positions himself as an authority on deciding who is a real victims and who isn't. What also makes shit hard for victims is highly popular men like him convincing people to instantly disbelieve women, send them endless hate and make ignorant comments about how victims act. I don't want to hear any moral lecturing from Dream of all people about others 'hurting real victims'. Argue with the wall.

He then has a whole section on Nick Cantu and let me make this clear - Nick being a violent asshole has nothing to do with Dream's behavior or the allegations so I don't care and I do in fact think he focused on it to make himself look better.

57:50 - Dream wants to talk about the dangers of swatting and doxxing. You know, his own stans have doxxed people and once endangered a black person by sending police to their house for a welfare check in an area where welfare checks had resulted in black people being murdered by cops. He says that he always condemned this behavior but shows no proof of this. What actions did he directly take to discourage and stop this and help the people his own supporters had hurt? If anyone has receipts on anything he's done to help, feel free to show me because he provides no evidence of doing anything and I am really not amused by him skirting around his own community's doxxing of people.

1:00:20 - So here he plays the infamous moaning video in it's entirety but has it muted? I get it's gross but when the audio is the whole point, it seems so useless to play it muted. Just a weird choice but it is easy to find elsewhere.

1:09:28 - Makes another statement here that if something is disproven in court then that means it didn't happen which is blatantly untrue, esp when we're talking about sexual crimes. Very ignorant thing to say and really annoys me with how much he's positioning himself as a champion for victims.

After this Dream does a lot more talking about how people treat victims and it's mostly good stuff but AGAIN this is coming from the guy whose fans have doxxed countless people and who instantly mocked people for caring about serious abuse reports. He never makes this parallel, he never points out that he has undoubtedly done more harm to victims with his bullshit, he just puts himself on a moral high ground and its really obnoxious. I cannot emphasize enough how fucking annoying and self congratulatory this man is holy fuck.

EDIT: Initially I had a point here about how little Dream went into the 24 page document released compiling evidence against him, but I was informed this came out right before the video's release, a day before or on the same day it appears. I thought incorrectly it had come out earlier, I will say I still believe he needs to address this in the future, check my reblog for more details.

1:17:00 - This is a doozy and will be my closing point. Dream spends a bit talking about 'false allegations' and calls it a popular trend, happening to hundreds of online creators. IRL, false allegations for rape are severely exaggerated and, if anything, rape is horribly under reported. Women are significantly more likely to be raped then men are to be 'falsely accused' and, when you factor in how horrible the justice system is towards victims, rape culture, how difficult it can be to prove something like rape and how low the rates of successful convictions are, the truth is that a lot of 'disproven' cases are true and were just brushed aside. Furthermore, all crimes have 'false allegations' yet the only one to ever be discussed is rape because it's an easy out. I'm pretty sure I read somewhere that rape has comparatively low rates of 'false allegations' compared to other crimes but idk. I know the internet is different, I know people make up lies all the time but I am NOT fucking keen on how much Dream emphasizes false allegations as a common thing when IRL they are not. I am NOT looking forward to every content creator from now on claiming its just 'false accusations' and people falling for it because their favourite Minecraft YouTube insisted it was an epidemic. I am NOT keen for discussions of victims and rape culture to be dominated by this shit and for victims to continue to be silenced and disbelieved. I think you have to be very, very fucking careful when talking about 'false allegations' and I do not think Dream of all people is remotely capable of giving this the nuance it needs. This is gonna be so fucking unbearable in the future to deal with and every single fandom will latch onto this to brush off potential red flags, I guarantee.

#dream #dreamwastaken #dream stans #dream situation #there I'm done #I don't know anything more on his situation so I'm hesitant to give my takes on that but regardless this video was pretty bad in places

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abbythewritor · 5 months

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"Fairness" One Piece x Saitama reader twelve.

"Just a Normal girl looking for an everyday life. At least, if you call sailing across the seas with idiots with useless dreams a simple task, then you might wanna see a doctor. Seriously."

Warnings: Blood, gore, mentions of Luekimia, and heaps amount of blood and strength. It might be a little cursing, but not bad, and maybe some flirting in there, but it's mostly clean.

Other things:

-You didn't get bald due to your powers; you got bald to an extreme illness.

-You part of the straw hat crew, but others are interested in you and your power.

-Everyone that is a male is taller than you.

-Monsters from the OPM world will appear in One Piece, and I'll make some new monsters you will fight.

Enjoy the twelfth chapter everyone!!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Man, it's been a while.

Last time we left off, I accepted to join Luffy's crew, and for the past two years, as a captain, he ordered everyone to grow strong, for two years straight.

Including me.

Yep, that's right, he trained his Haki with Rayleigh, and I trained my haki and strength with the Marine hero, Garp.

It's been interesting, as he didn't go as hard as he did with Luffy when he was a kid, but I still worked just as hard.

Every single morning, I start with a prestige workout.

10-kilometer run.

Upper body strength.

Core strength.

Lower body strength.

weight training.

Inner peace activities, Yoga, Stretching, and Balancing.

Then Garp worked on my strategy mindset, along with different defense techniques, attacks, and mind movements with chess, and other Japanese-like games that I wasn't familiar with.

He also taught me different Haki tequniques from himself, and stuff he learned from fighting Roger, who was the last king of the pirates.

At first, I was confused on why he would train a person who would become a pirate, then I realised he knew how important I was to Luffy, and wanted to make me storng so when he comes across me again, he won't hold back his strength, which I wouldn't blame him.

But, things aside, Garp also worked on combat training with me against Koby, who I formed some sort of bond with over the past two years.

The blonde didn't like me because I was a pirate, but I grew on him once the two years were coming to an end.

But, all of the harsh training and sparing, making new friends with some Marines, and people, the two years will soon come to an end, when Tomorrow I meet up with Luffy, and meet my new crew members.

It was a start of a new journey, and Journey of fun, excitement and Adventure, which was something I've been longing for forever.

Oh, and your probably wondering, what about Crocodile, buggy, and the ones who helped me and Luffy at Marineford? Well, let's say I was writing them all letters, and knew that Ivankov was training one of my crewmembers I've yet to meet yet.

All of them are doing quite well, Mister Three Joined buggies crew, while Mister One was working beside Crocodile, as they are trying to rise the ranks, to become something differemt which makes me proud.

Jimbei hasn't written back at all, which is understandable as he is a busy fishman all the time, but it makes me curious on how he is doing.

Luffy has seemed to be doing well, as he wrote back to me all rayleigh has taught him, all the jokes and fun things the two did these past two years, which made me excited to see him more and more.

Ace, however, did some training of his own, which is understandable from the Marineford incident, but he never really told me who trained him.

Either way, I'm glad he's living a fair life right now, as Pop's death is put behind everyone who fought in that war two years ago.

He told me he was doing quite well, finding hobbies to keep him busy, as well as rebuilding the Whitebeard Pirates into something more, which makes me glad his life is taking a turn for the better.

With many thoughts running through my mind, the sunset of this day was showing onto the sea, myself sitting on a grassy hill as the trees and the flowers danced with the sea brease.

You look a little different as well, grown up, as you were still Y/B/T, (Your body type.) but you looked stronger, happier, and more intelegent.

Wigs, the ones you used to wear, you got everything that could cover your bald head out of your life, as you learned that being bald, doesn't mean anything different about a person. You learned hwo to embrace yourself, and your bald head, as it is a symbol of beauty, and it shows a symbol of piece to people, just like Saitama did with his bald head-well, kind of.

As i continued to watch the beauty of the sunset in front of me, I felt a familiar presence behind, as Koby sat in the spot next to me. "It's quite beautiful isn't it?" I nod. "Yeah, I'm sure going ot miss doing this everynight....these past two years have been...." He chuckled. "Hard?" I shook my head with a smile. "No-well, yes, but I've never had to much fun in my entire life....learning new skills, eating different kinds of food that's not from my world, even making new friends." I nudge Koby, as he chuckled. "Never expected this when I was first recruited. Training with a girl who will become apart of a pirate crew who's run by Garps Grandson. Especially a girl from a different world. I say, when a mad man tells me that, I'd think their crazy, but a girl like you, with powers like yours, explaining everything that had happened, how can I not belive it?" I smile more.

"Your lucky I didn't turn on you, 'Admrial.'" He snorted. "Future, Admiral, well, that's still the plan anyway. It just makes me think how far both of us came, and it makes me wonder more how far Luffy proceeded, and how strong he became, guess you'll find out tomorrow, huh?" Sighing, I looked back at the sunset. "Yeah..." Many thoughts ran through my head, as I was quite nervous with meeting his crew, as koby could sense my uneasyness, as his head tilted. "Are you alright, Y/n? You seem to be thinking a lot lately..." I let out another sigh. "Let me ask you a question, before you joined the marines, where you ever nervous?" Koby was silent from my question for a moment, before he ssmiled. "Of course I was, all my life I was scared, but, once Garp trained me, and i've became stronger and knew what being a marine was like overall, all my nerves went away. I knew what my purpose was, to achiev the Marine Admiral title, and I know I can let my nerves get away from my goals." His words struck you in the heart, as you smiled again, your eyes then looking to the ground.

"I see...well, I guess I shouldn't be nervous then huh?" Koby chuckled. "Don't get me wrong, it's ok to be nervous when your entering a new chapter in life, but, trust me when I tell you this, the straw-hat pirates will be the nicest people you ever meet, because I know them too." My eyes widened slightly. "Ah, that's right, you told me you've encountered them a few times." He nodded. "Yes I have, and they are strong too, but now that two years have gone by, I'm curious too see how thye have grown, and how they will think of your strength, I have faith Y/n you'll fit right in, because Luffy asked you to be apart of his crew for a reason." Sighing, Koby was right, as my smily grew a lot more. Luffy didn't just ask me because I was desperate, or on the verge of death, he saw potential in me, he saw my strength physically and mentally, and he sought of it as a perfect fit. Plus he saw my loyalty to him, which a captian needs a loyal crew member in order to survive these treturous seas. "The boys right." Both of us looked to Garp, who held his usual smile, as a cookie was in his hands. Koby's eyes widened with the sight, as he got up. "Sir, are you sure your supposed to be have that?! The doctor said-“

“Bah! Screw what the doctor says; I’m grown up and can have anything I want! Besides, I earned this for training you idiots!” Garp interrupted, laughing while taking a bite of his well-deserved cookie. “Sir, with all due respect, sweets are nice to have oonce in a while, but with how old you are, having too much sugar is not the greatest idea-“ Koby got bonked “I CAN EAT THIS COOKIE IF I WANT TO IS THAT CLEAR?!” “Y-Yer sir!” Giggling from the usual antics, Garp sighed and took the final bite of his cookie while looking at me. “Nerves can be a great obstacle when sailing the seas, but trust me on this: my grandson can take your nerves away in an instant; besides all the training we did, all the battle strategies and studies I’ve shown you both, I have full faith you both will make it in this pirate world. Just remember the important tactics in the future when I’ll be chasing you down, and pray that your God will help you throuth. HAHAHAHA!”

His words made my eyes rolled. "I can achieve anything through Christ who strengthens me, so don't be surprised when I don't hold back." My smirk made him laugh more as he patted my back. "That's the spirit kid! Even if you are a pirate or a marine, a strong will and heart will always be a good power when facing tough opponents; just remember not to gloat about the positive attributes since you always have your crew on your side to back you up. Who am I kidding? I'm a marine, not a pirate. HAHAHAH!" Koby sighed. "I think you had enough cookies.." he took to bag, and Garp paused before slumping, and I giggled more. "Thank you guys…I know I'm going to be ok. I've worked hard for this; now it's time to start a new chapter in my life… I will never be more blessed to be alive right now." Turning to the two, I gave them a huge smile. "Thank you both for the best two years of my life; when we meet again, we won't consider friends or family; we'll be rivals with benefits." Koby nodded, smiling at me. "Right!" Garp put a finger to his chin. "Rivals with Benefits huh? I've never heard that before, but consider me a family Rival. Y/n, keep Luffy in check because he will need much help to get through the seas. Especially now that Ace is saved, just don't do anything reckless, alright? Don't wanna drop you off tomorrow, and something went wrong."

I nodded this time. “Of course, Sir. I’ll do my best.” Garp crossed his arms. “Now, you must know a few things when we arrive tomorrow. One, I will give you a 5-minute head start before sending my marines after you. I will give you coordinates to where Luffy’s ship would be, as Rayleigh told me. Find the ship, don’t get caught, and meet your new crew mates, understand?” I nodded again as he continued. “There will be a high chance the Kuma army will be there two, but nothing you can’t handle. Think smartly, not rashly. Therefore, I have nothing else to teach you; now get some rest; we set sail for Sabaody at dawn.” Me and I nodded again. “Yes, sir!” With that, he left, and Koby looked at me. “Are you going to be ok?” Signing, I smiled, looking at him. “Yeah, actually..”

“I have a feeling I’m going to be more than ok…”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Alright, listen up!” It was the next day, as the marine ship you were on was approaching the destination, as Garp was telling you the plan. I had everything ready, all packed, as my excitement grew more. “Here are the coordinates to Luffy ship; before I give you a five-minute head start, you will run into familiar people, new foes, and some idiot lowlife pirates that boast about themselves. Just focus on getting to the Sunny, with no distractions or errors, understand?” I nodded to Garp. “Yes, sir!” He grinned. “Good, now here is a month's supply of food; since I know how Luffy eats, all of this is needed-“ “DID YOU STEEL THE COOKIES FROM HERE?!” Koby snapped as Garp froze, whipping at the boy. “ONLY ONE LUFFY CAN SURVIVE!!” “YOU DID NOT TAKE ONE SIR YOU TOOK A WHOLE BOX!” “LIKE I SAID, LUFFY WILL SURVIVE NOW. SHUT UP!!” Koby got hit with Garp's fists before handing me the food bag, which I could carry easily. “Now, the coordinates should be easy for you to understand since I wrote the instruction for kindergarteners, so don’t screw up and get lost. Once we dock, immediately hop off the ship, no of that emotional goodbye stuff even though I will miss having a girl to train…” he started to get emotional and turned as Koby approached him. “DON’T CRY THEN!” He snapped as I smiled. “It’s okay; crying isn’t a sign of weakness. I’ll see you both again. The two years was just the beginning.”

Koby smiled at my words as he walked closer to me. "Of course, I'll put up a good fight next time." I smiled at his confidence as he held out a fist, but I ignored it and hugged him, and he froze. His face was red; he was shocked that I was doing this. I was getting emotional when I felt his arms wrap around me. "Be safe. Koby… don't get yourself killed.." I whispered as he hugged me tighter; I could feel his breath on my skin. "Same to you, Y/n.." Pulling away, I wiped my tears before looking to Garp, who was still crying while facing out, as I sighed. "Garp." I knelt to him and smiled. "Thank you for training me and helping me to grow stronger. The techniques you taught me will also come in handy for defense. But sometimes, when good people part ways, it's always good to cry occasionally. But don't worry, I won't think any less of your strength because you are crying. I'll be ok, and keep Luffy safe, I promise." His brows knitted together. "You better; I don't want another brat to worry for when I'm chasing me. Besides, you'll be one hell of a pirate, a strong one at that." I smile. "And it's all thanks to you. Well, I guess I should go, huh? Thank you two again. Be safe!" As my five minutes were starting, I grew excited. I bowed, grabbed my stuff, and hopped off the Marine ship, running straight ahead. As Garp and Koby watched, Bogard walked up to the two and just glanced at Garp. "You're giving her more time, aren't you.." Garp laughed. "Of course I am; she'd be considered lucky since this place is confusing; she should be just fine. EVERYONE GET READY TO PULL TO THE FRONT BAY! WE'LL CUT THEM OFF!!" A bunch of 'Yes sirs' rang through the deck as the ship went out of the dock while you, of course, were looking at the directions as you followed the numbers on the trees.

This place was unique, full of bubbles which is meant for a five year old.

Everything looked plastic, even though it wasn’t, as you took a chance to take in the scenery, grasped the food bag and stuff, and adjusted it on your back.

Many people were here, and it was pretty lively with different people. The more I got closer to town, the more excited I felt.

Continuing to run, I tried my best to avoid many people and not make a big scene, as marines were already around the area, but they were probably not under Garp's command.

Making sure not to be seen, I kept a low profile as my posture was normal, my head was down, and my excitement was high.

It was not just excitement running high through me; it was also nervous because I hadn't seen Luffy in two years, let alone met his whole crew, and I heard rumors that they were just as strong as him.

Garp informed me of their names, as they all sounded unique, and I couldn't wait to meet them.

Roronoa Zoro: The fearsome swordsman.

Nami: Cat Burglar or Navigator

Nico Robin: the famous archeologist.

Chopper: The doctor.

Vinsmoke Sanji: The Cook.

Franky: The Shipwright

Brook: The musician

Usopp: The fearless sniper.

All of their titles seemed unique and different, and it made me even more nervous to meet them, as I didn't know where my strength and title stood against them, but I hope I get along with everyone.

As I kept running and running, I arrived at a green-hilled pasture, as more bubbles from this island were formed, until...I saw him.

That's right. I saw Luffy's big backpack on his back as he was in front of Rayleigh, who had trained him for the past two years.

Behind him were two handsome men: a tall, muscular, green-haired guy with a slash on his left eye and the other male beside him, who was blonde, elegant, and had a black go-tee.

"Huh, those two men must be a part of his crew.." I stated as I continued running that way, but as I was heading to them, the Marines yelled to stop Luffy and the two men as they were about to attack.

My eyes widened, and my teeth gritted as I jumped before the three. When I got close enough, my cloak blew in the wind as my fist went back. "NORMAL SPREAD PUNCH!" I yelled, Slamming my fist on the floor as all the marines that were in front of the three suddenly scattered in a large explosion.

The ground rumbled, and the leftover marines' eyes widened as they couldn't believe how much power suddenly occurred.

Dust arose, the chaos in front of Luffy, and the two men widened their eyes as my Silhouette was shown, making Luffy's lips form a bright smile.

"You're an Idiot, Luffy....for not having your guard up all the time.." I stated, a smile curling on my lips as I was revealed.

The marine's eyes widened more when they saw me, as some of them backed away with fear.

"I-It's Y/n L/N's..! The powerful girl that saved Fire Fist Ace years ago!"

"W-Why is she here?! Rumors said she joined a pirate crew; wait, don't tell me.."

"Stop her from helping the Strawhats escape!!!"

Luffy couldn't stop smiling. "Y/n!!! Is that really you?! Wow!! You look so different! HAHA!" Luffy hugged me, and his laughter brought warmth into my ears as I laughed, too, hugging him back. The blonde Male had hearts in his eyes and was waving his arms. "Wah! A pretty lady!!!" I blushed, flattered by the blonde's comment, as the green-haired male stepped forward, grabbing onto his sword handle. "Luffy, you know this girl?"

Luffy smiled, letting go of me as he began to pat my back repeatedly. "It's Y/n! I forgot you all haven't met her yet! She is a part of our crew!" Both of the men froze, as I smiled nervously, and I waved. "H-Hi...I heard a lot about you both...Garp has told me a lot of information...your Zoro and Sanji right?"

The two's eyes widened as Sanji's eyes turned into hearts, his nose bleeding a little. "She knows my name!!" Zoro stepped forward, a little shocked. "Yeah, those are our names... you said Garp told you information about us..which means you were with the Marines?"

Laughing nervously, I scratched the back of my head. "Well, I wasn't a part of the Marines; I just gotta taste what it was like for the past two years. Garp trained me, actually." Sanji paused his simpering as his and Zoro's eyes widened. "Wait, really, Garp trained you?" Sanji asked. "I'm surprised," Zoro added, then continued. "Being the hero of the Marines, I would expect the least of him to train someone who's part of a pirate crew. Well..it's nice to meet you, Y/n gotta admit, you're strong, but are you worth enough to fight alongside Luffy..?" Zoro's calm question caught me by surprise, but I wasn't hesitant when I firmly nodded my head to him before speaking."Luffy has a strong heart and a great dream. People like him deserve Fairness and to achieve his goals and actions in life. Two years ago, I fought alongside him to Save Ace. I won't stop fighting with him until he becomes pirate King. For the world to know even the lowest of people who are pirates or Marines or even just regular people, all deserve Fairness and to live in a world where they won't be bored but have a sense of fun and adventure." My words struck Zoro somehow, as he could see the determination, loyalty, and Kindness in my eyes. He didn't know who I was or what Luffy had brought to the table, but he knew I was loyal to Luffy, making his lips curl into a small smile as I saw his hand go out to me. "Well then, that settles things...dI like you Y/n.....Welcome to the crew..." My heart fluttered as I looked up at him before smiling, as my hand firmly grasped in his. "Thank you both!"

"You kids better go; I'm sure more Marines will be coming this way." A familiar voice spoke, and we all turned to see Rayleigh as I smiled at him. "Rayleigh!" He smiled down at me calmly, his tall form towering over me. Even though his age had seen better days, his looks never failed him, as he was as handsome as ever. "Hello there, Y/n-san; I must say, Garp trained you well. Did you lose weight?" I smiled more at his question as I nodded. "I did! I've never felt better about myself, and I have your Grandpa to thank for that, Luffy." Luffy laughed, holding his stomach with a smile as Rayleigh chuckled.

"Well, I'm proud of you, Y/n; you look good... perfect. Be who you want to be...don't let anyone else tell you who you are, because if you let them..well.." His hand reached out, gently popping a bubble about to land on my nose as my cheeks rose in color, and his smile continued to show the more he looked at me. "Your life won't be as bright as it is now...you don't want that, do you, Y/n?" My heart continued to beat rapidly; I felt like I was going to explode as my head quickly shook, which made him smile more, his hand going onto my head. "Good girl...because bright people like you deserve fairness, just remember that. I want to keep seeing your Kindness when you rise with Luffy on the Grandline; just don't forget to Visit this Old Geezer occasionally, ok? Can you Promise me that?" Nodding from his question, my eyes met his again. "Of course, I'll visit you, Rayleigh; that is a definite promise, right Luffy?" Luffy nodded also. "Yes! That's right! You are not alone anymore, Rayleigh! Your family to us now!" When Luffy smiled, Rayleigh got emotional as he wiped his eyes. "Family huh? I quite like the sound of that...you all better be careful...the Grandline is even more dangerous than ever, so remember to always keep guard and protect each other...you four better head to the Sunny; I'll take care of the Marines here.." Luffy, Zoro, Sanji, and I all nodded with Rayleigh's words, as we turned, and started running, heading to Luffy's ship.

Before the Marines could attack us more, Rayleigh fended them off, serving no match against him.

As the four of us ran, heading in the right direction, Luffy smiled brightly beside me. "We have so much to catch up on!" I nodded to his question. "Indeed we do. Luffy." As Luffy smiled brightly again from my agreement, a large shadow cast over the four of us as we paused to see a Giant bird, which widened my eyes.

But, before we could be hesitant, a familiar voice spoke, and we saw the familiar Doctor, known as Chopper, waving and Yelling to Zoro, Sanji, and Luffy.

"Chopper!" Luffy yelled, smiling more as the bird landed. My eyes sparkled when looking at the Reindeer, as he was so cute when he tackled Luffy into a hug, and Zoro and Sanji, the four of their laughter, warmed my heart.

As Chopper looked at Luffy, he looked at the bird. "Everyone is waiting for you, Luffy, at the Sunny!" Luffy's eyes widened. "Robin, Brook, Nami, Usopp, and Franky are there already?! Well, we can't keep them waiting! Zoro, Sanji, Y/n, let's get on the bird and hurry!"

The three of us nodded, soon getting on the bird, which took off, as Chopper directed it to the right path while it flew high in the sky.

I couldn't help but be in awe with the View of this island, as it was pretty beautiful. It was peaceful, flying so high in the sky as I closed my eyes, enjoying the calm wind hitting my skin. The bird continued to head to the Sunny until Luffy saw his ship in his eyes and smiled again. "There it is! OI! GUYS!! EVERYONE!!" He yelled as I looked down at him, and the other members of his crew smiled more, too, getting up from their spots and running to the edge of the boat, greeting him back with the same amount of kindness.

I noticed some of them crying, and it made my heart warm when the bird got closer.

But, then suddenly, a pool of blood came out of Sanji's nose as he flew off the ship, and my eyes widened with shock as the chopper yelled for him as he fell into the water.

Zoro wasn't bothered to get him, as it was customary for his nose to bleed like this; I was just concerned for Sanji as the bird was close enough to Sunny, allowing me, Luffy, chopper, and Zoro to hop on, as Chopper thanked the bird.

As the bird flew away, Usopp cried for Chopper to stop Sanji's nose from bleeding, as Zoro simply walked past, and I looked amongst the Chaos, not knowing what to do as Luffy was too busy admiring Franky's new form. "Excuse me." A voice spoke as I turned to Robin, who looked at me curiously as her tallness towered over me.

"Are you the new crewmember Rayleigh spoke of?" My posture was fixed as soon as she asked that, and I nodded. "Y-Yes, my name is Y/n; it's nice to meet you." My answer piqued Nami's interest. "Oh, so your Y/n! You helped Luffy save Ace!! I'm Nami! It's nice to meet you!" She offered me her hand, and I smiled and shook it. "It's nice to meet you, Nami. Luffy told me so much about you." My statement made her sigh. "I'm sorry if Luffy has caused you trouble. He's a good captain but can be a handful sometimes." I giggled at her statement. "Ah, not Luffy is fine, he's not a handful I promise-" I paused when a Skeleton, or Brook, approached me as he bowed like a gentleman.

"Hello there, beautiful Lady! My name is Brook! I do have one question, if you don't mind me asking." I smiled up at him. "Ok, sure, go ahead." He coughed in his handkerchief before he leaned down to me more. "May I see your panties?" My face fumed red before Nami suddenly bonked his head instantly. "STOP ASKING TO SEE WOMANS PANTIES! YOU'RE GOING TO MAKE HER UNCOMFORTABLE!" she snapped; I was shocked by the sudden outburst but then snorted when holding my mouth as this situation was quite funny. "Don't mind, Brook." I turned to look up at Franky, who had a smile on his face.

"He asks that question to every woman, so don't feel a bit embarrassed; the name's Franky and I gotta say, when I heard Luffy asked a girl like you to join our crew, I didn't believe you'd be this cute." His compliment made my face flush more as Nami's head whipped to him. "Don't add gas to the fire, Franky!" Franky shrugged. "What? It's the truth. Besides, I don't think she's too bothered by it, right?" His wink made me giggle as I nodded. "You're right about that. Say, Franky, I think you're pretty cool; I knew of a Cyborg once." His eyes widened. "Really? What was he like? Strong, tall, handsome?" Watching him smirk, I smile. "He was all three of that thing; sadly, he died when fighting a monster, but he still lives in my heart!" Franky's facial expression changed slightly. "Oh, I'm sorry to hear that; you have my respect, Y/n. He must have been a true good friend." I don't remember Genos, but he seemed to be a good friend of Saitama as I nodded with Frankie's command. "Yeah, he sure was.." I looked around before my eyes landed on Usopp and Chopper chatting with Luffy. "And you two must be Chopper and Usopp, correct?" The two pauses when turning to me, as Usopp nodded confidentially, his lips forming a grip. "That's right! I'm Usopp the Great, The most feared sniper of Luffy's crew!" My eyes sparkled with curiosity as I smiled. "That's so cool! So you shoot guns and stuff?!" He smiled nervously at my comment. "Well, not just guns; I can shoot lots of stuff and also make throwables to aid me in a fight, I know; hold your applause; it's awesome..." I smiled more, impressed with his Skill, as Nami glared at him. "We all know you are just being greedy now.." She growled as Usopp froze suddenly before laughing nervously. "I'm a pirate; what do you expect, Nami-"

"Oi, everyone heads up," Zoro spoke, as suddenly a Cannonball flew by Sunny, almost hitting it as it alerted everyone else.

Usopp and I ran over to the ship railing, looking more serious as we looked towards the Marine ships. "Oh no! When did they get here?!" Usopp asked as I glanced that way, as there were about three Navy ships. "It seems there are three Navy ships that way," I stated, as more Cannon balls barely missed the Sunny as I turned to Luffy. "Luffy, should we get rid of them?" But, before he could answer, more Cannonballs flew, heading straight for the ship this time, as the crew prepared to deflect them until pink-like arrows took them down, which alerted us to look at a familiar ship, Boa Hancock's ship.

Smiling, Robin walked up beside us; her face was blank. "That's Kuja's logo." Nami turned to her, confused. "Kuja?" "They're strong Amazonian pirates led by a pirate empress, Warlord." Robin's words shocked Usopp. "A Warlord?!!" Robin turned to him. "Her name is Boa Hancock. They say anyone who sees her will be attracted by her beauty." Brook stood on the other side of me, looking through the scope, as his face turned to shock, pink hinting at his bony facial structure. "Oh, too bright! She is dazzling!" He almost stumbled backward, as I giggled while Usopp caught the scope, looking as well as his mouth nearly dropped to the floor. "Wow! She must be a goddess!" His words widened Sanji's eyes as he hopped up from the floor, bolting to Usopp as he looked. "Goddess? Goddess! Let me see, let me see, where is she-" He paused when he saw her, turned into stone, and I Usopps eyes widened. "He turned into stone!" We both shouted with shock as Luffy came up behind us. "Oh, that's Hancock and the others!" He spoke as Usopp looked at him, as well as Brook and Sanji.

Boa turned her head to look at the sunny, as she saw me smiling which warmed her heart before she winked at me, which made my cheeks rise in color as Brook almost had a heart attack when he flung back.

"She helped us," Luffy spoke. "Let's set sail now!" he ordered, as Nami questioned if he knew her, as he nodded. "Yeah, I was sent to Maiden Island and I became friends with them. They helped Y/n too in keeping her in their country to recover her injuries." He stated as Usopp looked back at Boa's ship. " So that's the legendary female-only island, right? They definitely live up to their name." I nodded with his question before Sanji came up behind Luffy, a dark aura behind him. "Luffy..you were friends with the pirate empress?! HEY! WERE YOU REALLY TRAINING HARD?!" Sanji asked, tears of remorse coming from his eyes as Luffy smiled nervously at him. "Yes, Sanji, I really did train." Sanji slumped, going on all fours as he was crying more, I was then beside him, patting his back. "It's ok Sanji-kun, at least theirs other empresses out there in the sea..." He sobbed more, and my eyes widened as I felt like I made it worse as Zoro walked past, with a blank face. "Ignore his cries, he's grown more than an Idiot since two years ago." Sanji whipped to his feet. "SHUT UP MOSS HEAD!"

Nami sighed, as she spoke up before the two started fighting again. "Okay, let's get ready to set sail now!"

Everyone agreed, as no more marines were attacking us or stopping us from leaving, as a Marine ship was in my view, I saw Garp, Bogard, and Koby, and I smiled at them; waving. "GARP!! KOBY!!! BOGARD!!! THANK YOU FOR THE BEST TWO YEARS OF MY LIFE!!!" I yelled, catching the straw hat's attention, as Usopp and Chopper's eyes widened with fear when seeing Garp's ship.

But, Luffy told the crew not to attack, as everyone saw the tears brimming on Garp and Koby, while Bogard just smirked, as they stated their goodbyes, as it was an emotional moment.

Tears brimmed my eyes also, as the thousand Sunny continued to pull out of port, The three marines stayed until the Sunny's ship was out of sight. But, as the Sunny was sailing across the sea, a bubble roof was formed from the stuff coating the ship, as me, and everyone else's eyes widened as Nami spoke up again.

"Listen up everyone." She opened a paper. "A coated ship can reduce any kind of pressure. So once the floating bag at the ship's bottom which keeps it on the surface has been removed, it'll be less buoyant and start to sink."

"I see." Luffy, Zoro, and I spoke as Nami smiled. "Pretty easy to understand, right? Anyway, spread the sail now!"

Everyone nodded with the agreement as the straw hats, and I prepared to set sail.

Garp was right; Luffy and his crew weren't so bad, as from that day forward, I had a pretty good feeling about the future...as I will not stop fighting along side Luffy until.....

He becomes king of the pirates...

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Author: I AM SO SORRY, IT HAS BEEN A WHILE!!!

Author: You're probably wondering where I went, so I'll tell you! I have been away fixing myself and my mental health. Many things in my personal life have been going on, and I needed a break from activities to help aid myself and refresh my life.

Author: But now, after very long months and days, I'm finally back to writing. I am sorry if this chapter is a bit boring, but I promise there will be more exciting chapters in the future!

Author: Anyways, I am sorry again for being away so long. More chapters of this book will be published before Christmas, and the New Year, so I hope everyone is having a good last month of the year! Happy Holidays, and have a good day, everyone!

Bye lovelies!!!

61 notes · View notes

bitchlessdino · 1 year

Text

When We Didn't (m)

A SVTHUB COLLAB

Pairing: afab!reader x jihoon

Genre: fluff, slice of life, angst, smut

word count: 4.9k

tags: extrovert!reader, opposites attract, flashbacks, college au, slow burn, pussy drunk!Jihoon, slight exhibitionism, oral (f. recieving), fingering

Summary: Remember when we almost? But we didn’t. And now what, you’re gonna sit alone, underneath your barely standing Christmas tree and not expect me to sit next to you? Maybe we should’ve.

author note: make sure to check out all the other member this collab at this link or @svthub !

5 years ago

You scramble to get to the first class of the morning, thinking to yourself it should’ve been a crime to have classes before 10 am. It was the first day of freshman year and you were already late.

The lecture hall was packed to the brim seconds before classes would start. You’d scan the descending seats, hopeful for even a few inches of space. A faint voice starts to speak out next to you and looking down you see a man with utterly soft fairytale-like features. He initially stuns you at first until you realize he’s telling you there’s an empty seat next to him and you whisper to him plenty of words of thanks.

You settle beside him, taking out things from your backpack, throwing quick glances back at him, and eventually realize the severity of your consequences when you notice how you forgot to pack all the necessary items for your first day. “Fuck.”

The quiet man nonchalantly offers a pen, peeking through his specs. “Here.”

“Really?” You take it from his grasp. “Thank you.”

He nods and turns back mindlessly to his journal, preparing himself for the note-taking. After some more scrambling, you sheepishly poke at his shoulder and avert his attention back on you, seeing that awkward apologetic grin on your face. “I don’t want to bother you again, but can I have a sheet of paper?”

He nods, tearing one out and handing it to you the same way he had the pen, which you accepted graciously. “And…I didn't bring my textbook so–”

“I’m not tearing you pages from my textbook because you don’t have yours.”

“Not that,” you reassure, unsure whether he made a joke or if he actually thought you’d ask that of him, “If you don’t mind sharing, that’d be great. It’d only ever be for one time.”

The man sighs, begrudgingly pushing his book until it centers the both of you. “There.”

“Thank you,” you whisper and scoot closer to him, almost too close for comfort.

He pays you no mind for the rest of the time, even when you cross the invisible lines that were essential to common courtesy. He knew he just had to deal with it one day (which was far from the actual truth), and lucky for him, you knew how to be quiet for the most part anyway. The class came to an end eventually and he was grateful for that, he just had two more classes for the rest of the day. Picking up his belongings, you block off his path with a smile.

“Thanks again,” You bring out your hand for him to shake, “I’m Y/n.”

“Jihoon.” He answers plainly, barely reciprocating your gesture before getting up to follow everyone else through the exits.

You mouth his name as if committing it to memory and was quick to get a step behind him. “You should let me thank you sometime…Jihoon.”

“That’s not necessary.”

You halt in front of him before he could exit the doors. “At least a coffee. We are gonna be classmates after all.”

He sighs, avoiding those puppy eyes that come naturally to your golden retriever energy. He usually avoided people like you. People like you were draining, distracting, and he’d rather stay cooped up in his apartment rewatching Inuyasha for the thousandth time.

Yet.

“Just a coffee?”

Your eyes light up like the fourth of July. “And your insta?”

Present Day Christmas Eve

“But I wanted to celebrate Christmas with you,” You whine over the phone.

Your mother’s reassuring voice resonated from your phone. “Sweetie, you’re young and able-bodied, you’ll find something better to do than hanging around two old coots.”

“Well, you old coots have a one way trip to Hawaii, how will I top that?”

It turns out your parents hit the jackpot on some bingo night at the community center and would be traveling without you. No doubt, it hurt that you wouldn’t be going, but it hurt more that you wouldn’t be with your family since you spent pretty much every Christmas with each other. It was like things were changing before your eyes. You were growing older and older and you weren’t their little kid anymore. You were on your own.

“There’s always next year, sweetheart.”

You sigh defeatedly and hang up before trying someone else. The dial tone became an incessant noise in your ear after several attempts of contacting your friends. The messages blew up soon after rejection and apologies. Who knew on the Eve of Christmas no one would be available? (Of course, you knew but it couldn’t help to try).

“Y/n, I’m sorry.”

Groaning into the phone in frustration, almost sobbing into the phone about to hear another rejection come from a loved one’s lips. “You’re kidding.”

“This is me and Mingyu’s first Christmas together. Maybe try Cheol? Yeri? Joshua?”

“They’ve been talking about their alps for months!” You slump in your loveseat and whimper into the cushions. You could hear your friend’s sigh of pity on the other line. “Come on, there has to be one other person in your same predicament.”

“I don’t know about that.”

You've gone up and down your contact list, almost closing in on coworker numbers, and acquaintances, including a hookup that slipped his number in your phone without looking. Even that sounded tempting at this point. Lucky for you, you weren’t that desperate.

There was one last person you thought to call though. They’re also the first person you thought to spend Christmas with besides family. A person that you thought could spend all your time with. The question was whether he wanted to spend such a holiday with you.

Sometime after your first encounter

Jihoon planned to continue his quaint life as a college student, but you didn’t make it easy. Despite the lack of assigned seating, you made sure to take the seat next to him every day, waving at him when you enter the classroom after him a beat later. You made sure you wouldn’t come to class late again just to sit next to him.

“Hi, desk mate—I mean Jihoon. See I remembered.”

He sees you take your seat, settling in on the fact that there was pretty much his designated seat now no matter how early he arrives, “Hey.”

Taking his things out of his bag to be blindsided by you who pushes packaged convenience food in front of him. “Breakfast!”

“You said it’d only be coffee.” He points out a matter of fact.

“I did.” You point to bottled expresso. “Right there. Everything else is interest.”

He sighs, taking the coffee and stuffing it in his bag. “I’ll just take this. Thanks.”

“Come on, you’ll be hungry later.”

He flips through pages of his textbook, happy being using it alone, “I’ll survive.”

You somehow became a thorn in his side seeing you routinely and he made no effort in changing that. Where he was, you went. You made yourself nearly impossible to avoid. Over time, he found himself relying on you because of it. Though he found you a nuisance at times, it wasn’t all bad. You were chirpy and clingy, but that proved yourself to be useful at times.

“Shit!”

Jihoon never runs for a few reasons: it’s tiring, he gets sweaty, and he gets red. Really red. So, being tardy to lectures was not on the agenda, until the day he had no choice.

He burst through the lecture hall much like your first day, late for the first time ever in his life, he blames it all on his dorm mate that came home drunk and insisted on him dancing with him in the middle of the common area for no reason and cleaning up his puke soon after (yeah maybe his roommate’s name rhymes with toonyoung).

He tries getting to a seat inconspicuously as possible if any were available, and that’s when he hears your harsh whisper. Your hand waves him over and pointed at the seat next to you that had your backpack currently occupying it.

He sighs but nods at you in a quiet thanks before accepting the invitation. You grin from ear to ear watching him get in his seat and pass him a Pocari sweat, like some kind of guardian angel. “You’re a bit red. Have at it.”

He gulps looking back at the refreshment and accepts it before chugging half of it down in desperation. “Thank you.”

“There’s always more if you need it.” You lightly nudge him before directing your attention to the lecture.

He glances back at you, wondering how you always keep that optimistic smile on your face relentlessly, how you never grow tired, and he starts to think about what motivates it all. You were an average student like he is. What was there to smile about?

Class ends again like aways and much like other days, here you were following him like a newborn puppy. Most days he ignored you, but that day he didn’t bother trying. Instead, he felt a sense of gratitude.

“Does this mean you’ll let me have your insta now?”

Not stopping in his stride, he flattens out his hand in your direction. “Phone.”

“Really?” You ask as happily as a child, already taking it out and unlocking it before handing it to him.

He immediately pulls up your contact list and adds himself in, his name as plain and straightforward as possible. He hands it back to you. “I put in my number. I don’t have Instagram.”

“That’s fine! I can call you all the time now.”

You try retrieving it before he pulls it away with an authoritative expression. “Not all the time.”

“Alright, alright.” Finally grabbing hold and editing the name by adding a heart to the end. “So, what’s the rest of our day look like?”

Present day Christmas Eve

“Y/n.”

Your relationship with Jihoon now was hard to put into words. You were no longer classmates, and now you even wonder if you are even classified as friends. Your history was everything but nothing all at once. If you had a gun pointed at your head, your brain wouldn’t process the answer fast enough to save yourself. Just exactly what were you to each other? Better yet, what were you to him.”

“What’s up?”

He could hear your signature chipper on the other line, somehow weirdly nostalgic. “You called me.”

“I know, but it’s Christmas Eve, what are you doing?”

“Mmh, just, around.”

You scratch your head at his vague answer. Jihoon was indeed a man of few words but not that few. “You’re alone, aren’t you?”

Jihoon may have forgotten about the holidays coming around the corner and made no plans, but that was easy being the workaholic he was. He clears his throat, lingering in the awkward silence he’s put upon himself, “…Well—“

You shake your head at him as if he could see you, “Oh god, you are. I’m coming over.”

He could hear you rustling in the background, eyes rapidly blinking at his realization. “W-w-why?”

“Well, because.” You answer, the rattle of your keys heard through the phone.

He blinks, awaiting for other words to follow only for them to never do. “Because?”

“Yeah. Because.” You bite your lips, hoping he doesn’t hear how hard you’re smiling.

“…Don’t you have plans?”

You hum, breaking out into that smile you tried suppressing. “I do. With you.”

Last year of college

“No.”

“Why the hell not?”

Jihoon was open about being a hermit. He didn’t make an effort to go to places like parties, clubs, or even school events. Not that he didn’t get invited, because he had plenty of invites, trust him. He just thought it was a desperate attempt for most people to do the inevitable: get drunk, get laid, or get embarrassed.

“I don’t like parties.”

“But I’ll be there.” You tug his arm, pleading with him with your eyes.

He pulls himself away from your grasp. “More than enough reason not to go.”

“You love me don’t lie. I’m the light of your life.”

The unamused look on his face told you otherwise but despite the protests, you convince him somehow to come through. Never in this lifetime did he think someone could persuade him to willingly go to a frat party and now here he was with his peers, who were all drunk and out of their minds, including you.

You had plenty of drink, quickly becoming one with the music and atmosphere that almost worried the introvert. If you weren’t careful and he hadn’t been around, who knows what would’ve happened? Even if you had been annoying, you became tolerable, he desire no ill will disposed on you.

You cling to him harsher than you usually do, which he let happen. The stench of cheap beer and wine coolers staining your clothes and breath. Jihoon knew who could’ve been in a better situation, but at this moment it could’ve been worse. If not for you, there’d be more people coming up to him that he could help without pestering him to drink, play beer pong, or something of the equivalent. You were more than the perfect excuse to do no more socializing than necessary. So as far as he knew it, tonight should’ve been just fine.

“Jihoon…Jihoon…” You play chopsticks on his shoulders, imagining them as a big piano.

“What?” He answers, nudging you off him.

You drape your limp arms over him. Your hot breath tickles his cheeks, which on grew pinker from the body heat. “I’m like, super, fucked…”

Of course, the downside of all this was you were drunk enough on behalf of everyone else attending this party combined.

He rolls his eyes knowingly, a taut grin on his face as he tried helping you from falling over in your seat. “I know. I was there when you almost drank yourself to death.”

“But, but…I have a secret…shhhh, don’t tell anyone.”

He shrugs his shoulders, mindlessly tending and listening to the ramblings of a drunk college student. “Who would I tell?”

You stabilize yourself against him, cupping a hand to his ear. “To be honest…I like you a lot…”

He softly scoffs in disbelief. He pushes away sweaty strands of your hair away from your forehead before flicking it lightly, tossing you back with a giggle leaving your lips. “I see…Well, that’s a shame. I tolerate you.”

You pout childishly, latching to his bicep helplessly, “That’s okay...”

He pinches his nose, “…You reek of alcohol.”

“I should reek of you.”

“That made absolutely no sense.” He says, playing dumb.

“It means…I want to kiss you.”

He didn’t like how that affected him. Even with his sobriety, he could feel how his heart’s pace match yours without delay. This awe-stricken gaze in your eyes he couldn’t comprehend paired with the sweet image of your puckered lips aiming towards his face. Why was he even a little bit tempted?

His palm falls flat against your lips, protecting you, and maybe even himself, from a mistake waiting to happen. “…You’re drunk…You’ll forget all this next morning.”

And that’s what happened. After that night, you puked your guts out, holding on to the toilet bowl for dear life, and were knocked out soon after with the aid of Jihoon and your dormmates. You don’t remember a wink of that night, waking up the next day with a headache and Tylenol with water by your bedside. You don’t remember your drunk confession, or the way you openly threw yourself at him, nor the look in his eyes when you admitted it.

Jihoon, however, remembered everything. It haunted him. He feared it happening ever again. He couldn’t like you and you weren’t supposed to like him. It was better off this way. Right?

Present day Christmas Eve

Although a lot of things changed, a lot still didn't. Jihoon still didn’t drink, but he had to have been drunk if you were actually standing in the middle of his apartment right now with a grocery Christmas ham and a carton of eggnog (the worst possible combination by the way). Your all too familiar smile woke up the pit of his stomach that was vacant when he last saw you. It brought back that same fear again. A part of himself wanted to close the door on you but every other fiber in being was resilient against it.

So now here you were, heading to his kitchen, placing the eggnog in his fridge, and taking out the grocery ham from its packaging. “I’d have more food, but I was in charge of the ham and eggnog this year. The turkey’s less popular cousin and the season’s choice of drink: dairy…I obviously got the shorter straw. Ha-ha mom and dad.”

His eyes just curiously followed your every move, wondering what made you decide to be here of all places after all this time. You raid his cabinets like it's your own home, taking out a small sum of food he had, thinking to yourself that you could probably conjure up something appetizing. Otherwise, it was gonna be coke zero for dinner, which didn’t sound too bad at this point. “Thank god you have more than ramen in here. I was worried I was gonna have to throw you an intervention after visiting.”

“What are you doing here, Y/n?” He finally asks.

You look up from your busy hand and meet his eyes, still unreadable and solemn. “I’m celebrating Christmas with you.”

“Why?”

“Why not–Oh my god, you have a tree.” You approach his barely hanging tree that was only a foot taller than its owner. “This is…cute. Questionable how it’s still standing, but cute.”

He raises a brow, “Now, you’re insulting my tree?”

“I said it's cute, didn't I?”

Jihoon felt his lips twitch in an almost smile. “You’re annoying as always.”

“Nice seeing you too Jihoon.”

Last year in December

“Funny. I thought you two would be going out by now, not, what’s his face, Wonwoo.”

You were often seen around the guy, chatting, laughing, and sympathizing. Wonwoo was part of your Latin History lecture and he knew how to keep you entertained. Rumor had it that you were seen spending more than platonic time together. It was almost the amount of time you were used to spending with Jihoon, if not more.

“Yeah, well. Up to them.”

Soonyoung looked back at his roommate with concern. Despite Jihoon having not said a word, His feelings for you were blossoming before Soonyoungs eyes and he finds his roommates wandering your presence. He felt the shorter man open up more because of you and maybe he could find his own happiness someday.

It was all until Wonwoo came into the picture. Tall, handsome, and sensitive. Untouchable, compare to Jihoon.

“He’s not even all that …okay, that’s a lie. I’m huffing copium right now, he’s gorgeous,” he admits as he scrolls through the spoken man’s instagram.

“What’s your point, Soonyoung?”

Jihoon lacked life in his eyes and if it was possible, Soonyoung could’ve heard his own heart shatter at the sight.

“Just..hang in there, buddy.” The blonde pats his peer on the back, and his ineffective reassurance goes unnoticed.

Whatever the hyperactive roommate meant was none of Jihoon’s concern. He was busy ignoring the erupting feelings he had for you. To make the matter worse, he had to deal with the fact that he perhaps lost the many chances to act on his feelings. For all he knew, Wonwoo could’ve been the real deal.

But then again, that wasn’t any of his business.

“Hey stranger,” You sit beside him in a place you were both familiar with.

He smells the whiff of hot cocoa with a hit of peppermint emitting from your cup. It was your usual. You placed it next to his toffee latte, sweeter than what he’s used to, but free of charge thanks to Seokmin who oozed desire for validation. He convinced himself that it was the caffeine making his heart twitch. “Hey.”

“Excited for winter break?”

“That’s…a word to describe it for someone.” He veers back to his laptop, pretending to work.

“What no plans again?” You pester with a playful smile, leisurely sipping.

Jihoon simply shrugs. “No.”

This was your favorite time of year and you believed everyone deserved to have a good time on this specific occasion. Every year, you spent it with family, presents, and dinner, just cherishing everything you had to be grateful for. It was contrary to Jihoon who had spent alone every year since college. His family was thousands of miles away from him and a ticket to reach them would've cost a leg and an arm. This was a lonely season for him.

“How about spending the holiday with me and my family this year?”

He pauses his movement to look up at you, your smile lets his infatuation for you fester like a disease, grinning cheek to cheek in that cute way it does which was indescribably delightful. He could feel his heart swell, the sweat on his forehead pour, and the unsettlement of his legs shake. It was only some time ago he came to terms with his feelings but the truth of the matter was he was never good with feelings. They were too intense for him to understand and he knew that only meant immense disappointment in the end. He wasn’t willing to take that chance.

“I think you should be with Wonwoo.” He returns back to his screen, typing the same word over and over again, “Good reason to check out the lights they put out in town.”

You scoff, your heart swelling for an entirely different reason. “Do you really mean that? You really rather I spend Christmas with Wonwoo than with you?”

There was this look in your eye and sternness in your tone. He had never heard something like that come out of you before, but he couldn’t help it. Self-sabotage came out naturally at this point. You being hurt was only momentarily, he reassures himself. He was doing the both of you a favor.

“Yeah. I think that’s the best use of your time.”

“…Fine.”

You pick yourself up to leave, tears brimming your eyes before finally walking towards the exit where the windchimes followed. The cold winter air hit you like a slap in the face, quickly drying the hot tears that came running down your cheeks.

This was it for you. You were done trying. For good this time.

Present day, Christmas Eve

When you insisted on helping him fix up his tree, you noticed how pretty looked under the Christmas fluorescent lights. He never realized that until now. Probably because he never had the chance.

Your attention to detail was admittedly admirable. He was glad that part of you hadn’t changed.

“I thought about this probably a thousand times, you know.”

“What?” Jihoon entertains.

You step down from the stepping stool to put it away after you gave the tree some finishing touches. Thank god for the popcorn in his pantry. “Spending Christmas with you. It was really hard to come here. And I'm not talking about several feet of snow I had to plow through to get here.”

“Why would you do that for me?”

You scoff, finding it ridiculous how easily he ignores the obvious. “I don’t know. Because you’re my friend. You deserve a nice Christmas. I like doing things out of the good of my heart. Like I was gonna leave you alone? Again?”

“What about you? Didn’t you have anyone to celebrate with?”

You roll your eyes. “Not the point.”

“Seems like the major point.” He retorts, almost sounding amused.

You sigh, walking towards him, “Yeah, everyone else canceled on me, but I’m glad that out of everyone you were available.”

“So I was last choice?”

You furrow your brows. “No, god, could you drop it? ”

“Just why spend Christmas here then?”

“Because I like you!” You shake your body furiously as you threw a tantrum, close to pulling your hair out from the roots. “God, knows why? You’re cold, mean, and distant. You couldn’t be more disinterested and it’s infuriating.”

“Why like me then?”

You body goes limp, clenching your fist helplessly, “I don’t know. Sometimes you were nice to me. It felt nice. And I hope that maybe…that meant something. Then you’d go ignore me like I did something wrong…I never had to work for it before.”

You felt your head spinning in circles. You were too old for this shit. You weakly falling to your knees, Jihoon quickly following to meet your level. “H-hey–”

“I thought if I approached you enough maybe you’d like me back. No matter how hard I tried, you wouldn’t do anything! God, was I naive and stupid. I should’ve never had co—“

Jihoon leans forward and kisses you square center on your lips, stealing your words and breath away. The pressure of his plush cushion makes your frustration dissipate; his hand takes the side of your head, stroking you tenderly. He parts from you when he feels your body calm down, looking back into your eyes glistening in the tears you didn’t realize you had shed.

“Maybe they worked…so your methods weren’t all terrible.”

You were the quiet one for once. His rare smile perks up his face, eyes filled with love and sincerity. You gaze at him as he hugs your cheek with his hands and wipes your tears away with the pads of his thumbs. He embraces your shaking body, soothing your back with the cool palm of his hand.

“...You’re such an asshole.”

“I know. I’m sorr—”

You tug on his sweater to reclaim him, melting into his sweet warmth, finally. You were over the moon. It only took you roughly five years. You finally had him where you wanted and now you were never willing to let him go. Five years all worth the wait.

Present day, New Year’s Eve

“Mmh, hmm…”

“Are you sure you’re getting this all down?”

“P-positive.”

Jihoon chuckles at your disposal. The vibrations of his soft laughter vibrate through your core and are quickly followed by the harsh stripe guided by his tongue. His arms underneath and around your thighs had your legs pressed against his cheeks, thumb teasing the shape of your clit before he’s pinching it as he engorges on your warmth. You hold the phone away from you briefly to whisper a ‘good god,’ and return to the conversation at hand.

“And you’re making sure Jihoon’s going. How did you manage that?”

“Oh,” you chuckle nervously, “just some, mmh, convincing.”

“Knew you could do it. He always did have a soft spot for you. Well, let me know what exactly you do also because I’ve been trying to get him to DJ my wedding all year—“

“Oh…right,” you bit your lips when you feel Jihoon’s tongue fuck inside you, tasting your insides and spreading you open.

His grunts were soft but coherent, exhibiting the satisfaction he was tasting inside you, sucking against your folds, dribbling his spit and your moisture all over his chin and neck. He can’t help but dig deeper, getting his nose in the action. He practically loses all his senses at this point, but he didn’t care; not that he couldn’t breathe, or how his heart pounded, or that you were on the phone with someone. You were worth the wait.

“Anyways, when are you coming?”

“Oh…soon…” You slur, hardly listening to a word.

Jihoon snickers.

“Great, because I know I said seven but since you’re bringing—“

Jihoon snatches the phone from you and puts the phone mic next to his swollen lips, “We’ll get there when we get there, Seungkwan.”

“Wait, Jihoon? You were with—wait are y’all l—YOU NAST—“

Jihoon hangs up before the younger man can finish, tossing the phone randomly somewhere on the bed, and is finally able to let you finish.

“B-baby…he definitely knows now…” you whine.

“Fuck, if I care. Just focus on me, hmm, you taste so fucking good.”

He brings your legs up to leverage you in the air. On his knees and your legs on either of his shoulders, he devours you ambitiously, fingers fucking your knuckles deep in until he feels you shake an earthquake. You shout his name without remorse, begging for more.

“I’m really about to cum, Jihoon. Please, can I?”

Your voice laced with honey, you look up at him with tears in your eyes, sweat beading down your forehead, Jihoon couldn't help but let you do whatever you want with him. “...In my mouth.”

He latched himself on you, tongue fucking your insides as he ran his fingers rampage along with it. Your hips twitch in his embrace until you're practically thrashing in bed, clutching pillows, throwing them aside, lacking almost all control of your limbs. When he comes back up to the surface for air, he’s wiping the mess on his face with the back of his hand.

“You’re a mess,” You laugh, heaving your chest.

“Speak for yourself.”

You snicker only to quickly be brought back to reality. “We do need to get those groceries though. Seungkwan needs them.”

He raises a brow at you, readjusting his legs to pin you by your wrist, that smile to first appear a few days ago not seeming to waver in the slightest. “Sounds like I haven’t tire you out enough.”

“Baby—“

“I have more work to do.”

Giggling, you feel him embracing your sweaty form beneath him, peppering kisses all over you neck and cheeks until the finally reach your lips, chasteful compared to the event just few moments ago. You smile against his kiss, “I guess we still have some time?”

He strokes your hair, kissing your forehead. “Of course, to make up for the times when we didn’t.”

#svthub.collab #svthub #woozi smut #seventeen smut #lee jihoon smut #seventeen woozi #woozi #lee jihoon #seventeen #seventeen jihoon #seventeen fanfic #seventeen x y/n #seventeen x you #seventeen x reader #woozi x reader #woozi x you #woozi x y/n

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edenesth · 9 months

Text

Undying Bonds (Part 9)

Pairing: Hongjoong x fem!reader, Seonghwa x fem!reader

AU: zombie apocalypse au

Word Count: 4.3k

Trigger Warning: brief mentions of attempted su*c*de

Summary: What could be worse than being separated from the love of your life in a zombie apocalypse? Hongjoong was forced to leave you behind with his friend, Seonghwa, as he ventures out alone to search for the rest of his missing group members. Will Hongjoong be successful in his solo mission to find his members? Will he be able to return to you unscathed? And what happens when you're stuck with his caring best friend, who is hopelessly in love with you, for too long?

Part 8 | Masterlist | Part 10

Christopher.

That was a name that Chan hasn't heard anyone call him by in a good while now, just the way he had intended.

He left his identity as Christopher behind the moment he made the decision to permanently move from Australia back to South Korea for good all those years ago. His new life as Bang Chan began ever since then and he vowed to never look back on his old life again, never will he allow himself to live like that again.

He was a completely different person now.

The Christopher from before was no more, the day he became Bang Chan, he promised himself he'd be better, stronger and wiser; everything Christopher was not.

Bang Chan has achieved things that Christopher could never even begin to imagine achieving and he'd do everything to ensure things stay that way. He could say with confidence that he's done a wonderful job of that so far.

But with you standing in front of him like this again, he felt the doubts creeping in. He was so sure he no longer had any weaknesses left to hold him back from being the greatest but here you were, alive and well. His biggest weakness was still around all this while and so near to him too, he had absolutely no idea.

You see, only a handful of people knew him by that name and most of those people were no longer around, he's made sure of that.

Some buried nine feet underground in eternal sleep and some still out there roaming the streets mindlessly as an undead. Which was why he never thought he'd be hearing anyone calling him by that ever again. Had it been anyone else, he would have beheaded them right on the spot.

But it was you.

His dearest childhood friend.

You were his saviour. His first and last love. The light of his life.

The first and only person to show him that perhaps this world was not all dark and hopeless, that perhaps there was still hope in humanity no matter how minuscule; that was you.

You were the only one who truly mattered to him.

If there was one thing Chan did not despise and would dare say he missed from his life as Christopher, it would be you.

Christopher had been an outcast for as long as he could remember, he hated his life and often wondered why he was even brought to this world in the first place if he was only going to be treated like a waste of space by everyone around him.

There was not one single day where he looked forward to waking up, he was a complete failure. He was so much of a loser that he failed to even take his own life despite several pitiful attempts.

It wasn't until his final attempt that he met you, an angel sent from the heavens to save him from his misery.

He recalled having millions of questions running through his mind as you cried painfully, clutching tightly onto his shirt and begging him not to jump off the bridge.

You didn't even know who he was, how and why did you care so much for a piece of trash like him?

At that moment, he listened to you because all he wanted to do was stop your tears. He'll never forget the foreign feeling coursing through his veins when you pulled him into your arms in relief.

"Please, don't do that again... I can't imagine what you're going through, but I want to understand. You don't have to face this alone, okay? This pain that you're feeling, I promise it won't last forever... I'm willing to stay with you so, let's talk about what's bothering you, hm? Don't be afraid... I'm here to listen without judgement."

That, he later learned, was the feeling of comfort from someone who sincerely cared. True to your words, you stayed with him and listened to all his problems.

He had expected you to eventually leave him once you realise how much of a loser he was and he wouldn't even blame you for it but you didn't.

It surprised him more that you remained faithfully by his side, eventually becoming his closest and only friend. You even transferred schools so that you could be near him, always being there for him and standing up to anyone who dared bully him.

As more time went by, he realised he wanted to be more than just friends but his lack of confidence prevented him from confessing because he could tell you probably did not feel the same way.

After all, you made it pretty damn clear to not only him but even to everyone around you of your strong stance on not committing to anything even remotely related to romance. And your reason for that; you felt that relationships usually do more damage than good.

In one of your many shared conversations, he casually brought up the possibility of you seeing yourself dating him in the future. He pretended to ask that out of curiosity but deep down, he needed to know if he stood a chance.

The way your answer had left him feeling bittersweet, it wasn't something he could simply forget.

You told him you wouldn't even consider it because it was him. It broke his heart at first but then you clarified by explaining how important he was to you and how much he meant to you, that was why you couldn't risk losing him at all. You believed that a relationship between you would only ruin exactly that, your precious friendship.

As much as it sounded merely like a polite way of turning him down, you genuinely only saw him as a good friend and truly did not wish to lose him.

In fear of scaring you or pushing you further from him, he respected your wish and continued to remain a close friend to you all throughout your school years together. He would do anything just to keep you by his side even if that meant he couldn't have you as a lover because unbeknownst to you, you've become his sole purpose of living at that point.

You were the only thing keeping him going… until you were gone.

Just as he'd started to believe that life was finally being kind to him now that he could enjoy the peace and pleasure of simply having you by his side, shit happened.

It was senior year of high school when it happened, tragedy struck on one fateful day.

An accident shattered his idyllic world. Christopher, in the midst of chaos and confusion, believed that he had lost you forever. His heart broke and in his grief, he withdrew from everything and moved back to his home country to start anew.

Little did he know, you had survived the accident, though you were left battered and unconscious.

As the years rolled on, you fought your way back to life, piece by painful piece. You battled through surgeries and rehabilitation, all the while unaware of the depths of his despair. It was a long and gruelling journey back to consciousness and health, and by the time you emerged from the darkness, Christopher was no longer a part of your life.

Still fragile from your physical and emotional wounds, you felt a profound sense of abandonment. You believed that he had left you in your darkest hour and the pain of this perceived betrayal became a permanent scar on your heart.

You sought solace in building a new life for yourself, one where you wouldn't have to rely on anyone else.

Life sure had a funny way of bringing people back together because you, too, returned to South Korea to begin your new life. It was there that you met your current group of friends as well as your boyfriend when you decided to further your studies at university.

All this time, he thought he'd lost you for good.

If only he had even the slightest clue you survived, perhaps he wouldn't have left Australia and perhaps he wouldn't have become the Bang Chan that he was today. Because the person that he was now did not deserve to be by your side anymore, he was already tainted beyond recognition the day he chose to give in to all of his selfish greed and desires, the day he established Stray Kids.

The moment you'd recognised one another, it brought about a mixture of nostalgia and unresolved feelings. When your eyes properly met, a flood of memories washed over you, the happy times and the pain all swirling together.

For him, seeing you again was a mixture of relief and regret.

He had never truly moved on from your shared past and the sight of you stirred up a whirlwind of emotions he thought he had buried. He yearned to explain the truth, to tell you that he had believed you were gone and his withdrawal was born out of grief, not abandonment.

But your heart was guarded, your trust in him shattered.

You had spent years nursing your wounds and crafting walls to protect yourself from further pain, though the walls were broken down by Hongjoong years ago, that didn't apply to Christopher who had left you right when you needed him the most.

The awkwardness between you was palpable, a silent reminder of what you had lost and what could have been.

Chan struggled to find his words as he took in your current appearance. You were older now, and so was he but god, were you just as beautiful as you were all those years ago.

He exhaled shakily and lifted a hand to cup your face but his heart fell to the deepest pit of his stomach when you turned your head away to avoid his touch, he could see now in your eyes that you no longer held any affection for him.

"Please, the others are watching. Perhaps we can catch up later." You muttered, coldly pulling your hand out of his grasp.

As if finally coming back to his senses, he cleared his throat loudly and nodded, "Right, of course." He could feel the glares burning into his back from behind, no doubt from Mingi and Jongho who were ready to pounce if Chan dares to try anything inappropriate.

It was clear to everyone that the two of you shared some sort of history but none of that mattered to your friends because to them, you belonged to no one else but their captain now.

It took a bit of convincing from Changbin and Hyunjin for Hongjoong and the guys to believe what the two were telling them to be the truth.

Jongho… was now one of them?

Choi Jongho, their youngest little bear? Now a part of Stray Kids?

As much as none of them liked what they were hearing, Hongjoong knows they'd have no choice but to comply because not only Jongho but even you, Seonghwa and Mingi were now in their hands.

Putting aside their hatred for the gang for a moment, reuniting with you was the main priority now. The captain would worry about what comes next afterwards once you were all together again.

Despite their reluctance to waste any more time, the two members of Stray Kids agreed to let them have another moment with San before they leave for the gang's headquarters.

Changbin had to remind himself over and over that these were not prisoners, but VIPs under their protection.

The thought only further made the shorter male fire up in irritation, "I still can't believe we're doing this… all for Choi freaking Jongho. We take lives, we don't save them. Chan hyung hasn't even gone this far for any of us. Look at us here, playing escorts and bodyguards. Pathetic."

Hyunjin smirked dejectedly, "No shit. You don't think that's probably because we didn't put up a fight when he recruited us? We were desperate and that just makes us less valuable, we wanted to be in the team more than anything. It sucks but Minho hyung could care less if any of us died on the field, the fact that even he is putting in the work to get this fella on board…"

Both of them sighed deeply at that, "Let's just focus on not pissing either of them off, alright? We can't afford to lose any more favour than we don't already have."

The shorter member nodded bitterly, all this talk about losing favour only reminding him of Jisung's fate for failing to execute his task, causing the whole operation to fall through.

Said member was stuck in 'detention' for a week, locked up in their very own timeout room with limited access to food and water. The idea of punishments was undoubtedly all Minho's, he saw his teammates as nothing more than objects after all.

If you prove yourself to be an asset, you'll naturally be rewarded but if you become a liability, there will obviously be consequences to suffer.

These punishments serve as a lesson and you'd better learn from them because if you don't, that could result in permanent removal from not only the gang but possibly from this world too; more than three strikes and you're out.

Being a member of Stray Kids does not guarantee your safety for nothing, you practically have to work for it.

That was why it was incredibly vital to receive validation from the gang leader and his right-hand man. What bothered them was that Jongho was the only one to have that now, this automatically puts the rest of the members below the newest recruit despite the duration they've served and the loyalty they've displayed to the gang.

The two watched as Hongjoong and his friends huddled around the ground where they'd presumably just buried one of their friends.

The four were obviously very close to one another, that was the type of brotherhood that Hyunjin secretly yearned to have with his teammates but he knew it to be impossible. He understood better than anyone that the members of his gang weren't friends, they were merely co-workers just serving the same purpose.

"Just ignore them, let's say our goodbyes."

Hongjoong ordered, noticing Wooyoung glancing warily back at the two gang members who were blatantly observing them from afar, "Yes, hyung…" The younger male croaked out, bowing his head as they all turned their attention back to their friend's grave.

The captain cleared his throat and sniffled before speaking, throwing his arms around his friends to pull them close to him.

"Sannie… thank you for the moments we shared, you'll always be in our hearts. W-we love you so much, we'll carry your love with us always. You brought light into our lives, e-even though you're gone… that light will never fade. As you leave this world, please know that you made it a better place. The world may be a little dimmer without you… b-but your light will never truly go out. Rest now, my friend, you deserve peace…"

Hongjoong cursed to himself when his voice broke towards the end of his speech, causing even the usually more composed Yunho and Yeosang to sob violently.

Wooyoung, however, remained surprisingly calm as he smiled tearfully ahead. It was as if he could see his best friend standing in front of him, Hongjoong thought to himself as he looked at the younger male bidding San a final farewell.

"Goodbye for now, Sannie… I know we'll meet again someday."

The four friends stayed for a while before moving to pack up their belongings once they'd all calmed down and collected themselves from their emotional states.

As much as it hurt them to have to cut their mourning period short, they had no choice but to continue on for now. San was gone, nothing could change that but the rest of their group was still separated from them.

With only the thought of their reunion in mind, Hongjoong and his boys pushed themselves forward.

Changbin and Hyunjin stood at the entrance of the high school, waiting expectantly with their arms crossed, "About damn time you all got done with that, now let's go before the sun goes down."

Wooyoung's nostrils flared at the taller gang member's insensitivity, "Excuse me?! Our friend just die-" Hongjoong slapped a hand over his friend's mouth, "Enough, there's no point. Do you honestly think they care? Let's just cooperate." Before Wooyoung could protest, the captain shut him up with a deadly glare.

Following the two gang members out, they were led towards the main road where a well-maintained military armoured truck, spray painted with the Stray Kids logo, was parked.

"Holy shit, don't tell me you robbed even the military for this," Yunho's jaws dropped at the vehicle, Changbin grinned proudly, "You bet your ass we did. You ain't seen shit yet, buddy. Wait till we get to HQ."

Hongjoong shook his head disapprovingly while his younger friends admired the truck that was still kept in such good condition.

"Alright, losers. Fasten your seatbelts and hold on tight, or don't, I don't really care." Yeosang and Wooyoung rolled their eyes at Hyunjin's words but did as they were told regardless.

Meanwhile, Hongjoong prepared himself to face the leader of Stray Kids and racked his brain for strategies on how they could get out of the gang's grasp unharmed. Of course, he couldn't wait to see you again but the fact that your reunion would be taking place in enemy territories, it didn't make him feel too good at all.

He wondered how you were feeling at that very moment, you must have been so scared and confused.

I'm coming, my love. We'll be together again soon.

"Welcome to District 9."

Minho grinned with pride, watching all your awestruck expressions in satisfaction. You and your friends gaped at what was supposed to be the SKZ HQ.

They managed to take over an entire mall that was located in the heart of Seoul. What's amazing was the fact that it looked completely abandoned from the outside but once you enter the premise through the secret passage that led you down to the underground parking lot, it was a whole new world.

The brightly lit and flawless interior made it look as if the zombie apocalypse never reached this place at all.

Lined up in the parking were all sorts of expensive vehicles you'd think were left behind by previous owners who happened to be the last shoppers here but no, these beauties were 'acquired' by the Stray Kids members themselves when they were out hunting. They were technically like pirates and whatever you see here was obtained through the means of stealing from others.

But it doesn't end there, the best part was the inside of the building.

You had no idea how they did it but it looked just the way it was before; it was literally a regular shopping mall back in the normal world but to be able to see this now was what's mind-blowing.

You wholeheartedly believed what the rumours had said about Stray Kids now, they truly were powerful and wealthy beyond imagination. This was the level of luxury no common survivor could even begin to dream of enjoying again in their lives.

Mingi couldn't keep his excitement in when you guys were assigned to a fancy and aesthetically pleasing furniture store. Upon careful observation, you noted that the store was strategically located right next to the washroom and was also near the food court where meals were served three times a day.

"Wow, you've really outdone yourself, Chris. I wonder how many lives were sacrificed for this amount of luxury," You said sarcastically, staring directly at Chan as he sighed and approached you slowly, "Look, I… Can we talk? Please..?"

The two of you finally settled down by a floor-to-ceiling window that overlooked the once-beautiful city of Seoul to sort things out between you.

The journey of coming here just to speak with him was not without difficulty, Seonghwa being the biggest obstacle. He was strongly against you going anywhere alone with the gang leader. He didn't like the way Chan looks at you even one bit, he wasn't a fool and could tell right away how the leader probably felt about you just by that.

To Chan's dismay, he had to witness you reassure the tall male ever so caringly that you'd be fine. He longed to be on the receiving end of your gentle touches and soft words once again.

He scoffed loudly at Seonghwa's insinuations, as if he'd do anything to hurt you.

The audacity of these losers, Chan knew you much longer and probably better than any of your current friends. How dare they even think he'd be a danger to you. With Jongho's reluctant help, they'd eventually manage to pull Seonghwa away from you.

There were so many questions that Chan needed answers to. Like what happened back then, how did you survive, why were you here in Korea, who were these guys with you?

Instead, he ended up asking the question that mattered the least.

"Was that persistent one your boyfriend?"

His tone was bitter, "He's not but that's none of your business." The hurt expression on his face did little to affect you, he supposed he was partly relieved to hear that.

Perhaps you were still single all this while and were still firmly against the idea of dating. He'd be happy if that were the case, even if he couldn't have you, at least no one else could too.

But your cold tone still broke his heart nevertheless, did you really believe he had left you?

You hated it but your vision was slowly blurring with tears, "Don't look at me like that, like I owe you any explanations. You were the one who abandoned me, Chris, when I needed you the most." You spat, turning away from him to wipe your tears.

He shook his head furiously, "No, it's not like tha-" You held a hand up to cut him off, "I don't want to hear your excuses. How could you? After everything we've been through…"

He exhaled shakily, hands moving to grip your shoulders as he struggled to find his words, "Please, I didn't know you were still alive." At this very moment, he's become Christopher all over again. The intimidating Bang Chan was no longer in sight with you so close.

You laughed humourlessly, "You didn't know? Maybe if you just stayed around long enough, you would have found out… what baffles me is the fact that you left the country without even confirming if I really was gone..."

That shut him up for good, your point was valid.

He was quick to conclude you were gone just from the words of some people. Why hadn't he been more thorough? He realised now how bad it all looked to you and he had nothing to say for himself.

"Did you know how much I suffered after the accident? As if getting myself back onto my feet wasn't excruciating enough, I had to do it all alone because you disappeared on me."

Chan's heart wrenched in pain just imagining what you had to endure all while he was here indulging in his sinful desires without a care in the world when he should have been there with you.

His hands slid down your arms to grasp your smaller ones in his tightly, biting onto his lip to hold his tears back because he knows he had no right to cry, "You're right... God, I'm so sorry," You scoffed lightly at that, "Yeah well, sorry isn't going to change anything now."

Defeated, you sighed when he refused to let go of your hands.

"Look, you don't have to feel so bad. It's thanks to you I got to meet some people who now mean the world to me, I've... never been happier," His chest ached with envy for those lucky bastards, "I could forgive you for what happened in the past, Chris... but what I can't accept is who you've become now."

Panic filled his senses when he sees the disappointment in your eyes, you've completely given up on him. He tried to pull you into his arms when you finally managed to tug your hands free from his.

"Just let me go, Chris. We can pretend to be strangers, or maybe we don't have to pretend at all because I don't even know you anymore..."

Your words were like knives piercing into his heart, "No please, it's still me! I'm still yours, I swear! Just... at least let me explain myself, yeah? All I ask is for you to hear me out this once, you must know how much it pained me to believe you were gone... You were my everything- you still are!"

Before you could form a response, a small gasp escaped your lips when you were pulled out of Chan's hold and into a pair of familiar arms. The person standing between you and the gang leader immediately calms the storm within you.

It was Hongjoong.

You let out a shaky breath in relief, your world was complete again.

"I won't tell you twice, stay away from her," Hongjoong glowered, squeezing you protectively in his arms. Chan narrowed his eyes dangerously in annoyance at the interruption, "And who the hell are you? Know your place, this is between me and her!"

The captain smirked in amusement, "I'm her boyfriend," Chan's eyes rounded and his stomach dropped at that, his eyes fleeting over to yours for confirmation, "B-boyfriend..?" You nodded, pressing closer to Hongjoong for comfort.

"I think this is exactly where I should be, right by her side. Can't say the same for you though, Christopher."

Hope y'all liked this part! I went through a mental breakdown writing this because I was halfway through when my work was accidentally deleted and I had to rewrite everything. It was super stressful but I'm glad it's done. As always, do let me know what you think and thank you for reading!

Tag list: @aurasblue @tmtxtf @park-simphwa

#ateez #ateez fanfiction #ateez fanfic #kim hongjoong #park seonghwa #ateez hongjoong #ateez seonghwa #zombie apocalypse au #hongjoong x you #hongjoong x reader #seonghwa x you #seonghwa x reader #ateez fic #undying bonds

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gyusbambi · 6 months

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my gyu recs >:)

@delcakoo's chapstick challenge (🤍)

in which bf!beomgyu and his s/o are doing a common challenge where one tries to guess the flavor of lipbalm the other is wearing through a short kiss

@gyuletters's vanilla kiss (🤍)

you and beomgyu decide to participate in a candy sale. but the only thing beomgyu wants now, it’s you.

@it-rains-blue's losing you pt.1 (🤍)

in which beomgyu's jealousy burns at seeing yn grow closer to his members, resulting in one thought: he was losing you.

part one is pure angst, but if you like hurt/comfort, part two is a fluff filled resolution

@akuvrus's midnight comfort (🤍)

when beomgyu calls you in the middle of the night to go eat out in a nearby convenience store together after he had a rough night and is in need of comfort.

aku's page has a lot of fluffy and comfort fics of mine, so i reccomend binging their works (´▽`ʃ♡ƪ)

@loveliestfelix's run pt.1 (🤍)

in which beomgyu's careless action led him to realizing two things: he was in love with his best friend, and he had just lost them, too.

i love this fic with my whole heart-- especially part two! the feelings were portrayed beautifully

my favorite smaus :D

@enluv's press play (🤍)

After a year long hiatus the once top streamer, L/N Y/N, is back and ready to take her place as #1 again, but she’s met with an astonishing find, newcomer Choi Beomgyu has taken her spot and isn’t going to give it up so easily.

@suwbuns's e-daters! (🤍)

moving back to korea from america, y/n is excited to reunite with her old friends and make new ones. what she doesnt expect is to find herself reuniting with her “ex-boyfriend” from 10 years ago who she dated over minecraft. what makes things worse? he happens to be her favorite streamer who she has been pinning after for years.

this smau sadly happens to be on an indefinite hiatus, but what is posted had me hooked ^^

@gyumibear's create a sim(p)l (💕)

after stupidly claiming on stream that you’ve been dating popular youtuber choi beomgyu in secret after accidentally creating an identically looking sim, you beg him not to reveal your lie to the public when it goes viral. weirdly, he agrees and you two begin to fool the public. can your lie become the truth or will it eventually catch up with you?

i can't hide my favoritism.. while e-daters was a fic and one of the only reasons i kept coming onto tumblr early 2023, cas had me CONSPIRING. i was going on literal rants and spirals every chapter 😓

@junoswrlld's plus one (🤍)

kai, one of your closest friends, invites you as a plus one to one of his best friends birthday party. but the bday boy is kinda cute…can you steal his heart?

one of my top favorite crack fics to come back to ^^ i always find myself reading plus one to hate on rami or fangirl. it's still in progress but the updates are vv frequent!

this is getting long but i'm not done yet so i'll send in another ask :D

posting this for you guys too instead of gatekeeping😋

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neurosiscocktail · 6 months

Text

OFMD finale spoilers ahead-

I’m on my third rewatch because I read the Vanity Fair article, and I’ve heard some really interesting opinions that differed from my own, and so I rewatched it with all of that in mind. unfortunately I still just think the last episode was not great. Some stuff I really enjoyed, but a lot that I didn’t.

1) no one searched the hostage for weapons? You’re telling me not one of the people who have been pirates most of their lives thought to search the hostage.

2) Izzy might have insisted, but putting the most notable and visibly recognizable pirate on your crew front and center feels like a very stupid move. A large part of this season was about Stede learning to be a pirate, and it feels like they slashed his character development and Ed, Izzy, Fang, Roach, and several other crew members critical thinking skills because they wanted to kill Izzy.

3) they did a good job foreshadowing his death. I kind of always knew it was coming, but wasn’t paying much attention because I didn’t want to. I really dig the fairytale themes. Someone else mentioned this and once I was looking for it I really loved it!

4) now that I’m looking for it, I see a lot of places where Izzy was a mentor and I get what he was going for and don’t mind it, really like it in some ways. however, the docking joke made me very uncomfortable now that he’s said Ed sees Izzy as a father figure. (I think I was a little delayed on seeing this because I was busy making jokes about how they were cowards for not hiring a child to play Izzy, since in real life he was estimated 15 years old when ~38 year old Ed and Stede met)

5) now that I’ve rewatched it with the writers intent in mind, I still think the “killing your redeemed antagonists” and the “killing your mentors because they have nothing left to teach” troupes are bad and lazy. Knowing that that’s what he was going for didn’t make it less so. I thought it might. If you love this troupe, more power to you, they did a good job with it and this finale was probably right up your alley. I unfortunately find it to be lazy writing and the troupe stopped being good 40 years ago.

6) Lucius was AMAZING this season. I thought his arc dealing with his trauma was very good and very realistic. I love that they didn’t just hand wave off his experience, but had him deal with things in a tangible way.

7) again, I still don’t understand why cartoon rules apply to everyone but Izzy and this gunshot wound.

8) I really loved the relationships between Izzy and the crew this season but especially him and Jim, Frenchie, and Lucius. I thought the casual intimacy really showed how their relationships developed.

9) His death speech and funeral were worse on the second and third watch when I was really paying attention and not bawling my eyes out. Ed has really… not been forgiven by the crew. A lot of them did, but Lucius sure didn’t, and it seems like they accepted his ‘apology’ but they still don’t trust him. So to have his death speech, one, include him taking more accountability for Blackbeard, which Ed hasn’t done at all yet, and then follow it up with the crew being his family who love him felt weird. It felt like that speech was written when we had 2 more episodes of character growth that got cut. Because that did not seem like how they felt. There really wasn’t much happening with the crew during his death or funeral which felt weird. Except Roach at the funeral. That was excellent.

- addendum: I know that death speeches in shows are for the protagonist but I feel like some of it should have been about him, and not an apology? The whole thing just felt awkward. And we have heard from creators that Izzy is a deeply sentimental man, not burying him with his ring and using it as a grave marker where anyone could steal it felt bad.

10) I felt when they first introduced the prince that he was supposed to be a wake up call for Stede. It seemed like he was meant to represent what Stede could have been. A spoiled rich brat with no common sense or thoughts about how his actions effect others. Someone who views themself as a main character and everyone else is a supporting role. When he was first introduced it felt like that was supposed to be a wake up call for Stede- “this is what you could have been if you didn’t want to be better. If you weren’t kinder and more empathetic” and I thought that started off really well, but then it felt like they took back some of Stede’s character development and it didn’t pack as big of a punch.

11) I really feel like Stede and Ed have not been put in a good position to be successful in the very intense relationship they have just started. They have just decided to completely isolate themselves, when we just had a whole episode foreboding doing that. I LOVE Mary and Anne, but I do feel like the finale had Ed and Stede just ignore every warning they got and I feel like that’s been disappointing- feeling like their characters were making progress but ended somewhere where they didn’t actually make any progress. It was all very romantic but lends itself to 0 longevity.

12) Ed especially felt stunted this season. Stede made some great progress, but Ed just kept running away from his problems, figuratively and literally and not taking accountability. I love Ed, but I think if I didn’t already love him before watching this season, this season wouldn’t have convinced me to. I’m not sure where that leaves us for season 3- I think maybe that season will be about him having to actually face himself, and I look forward to it.

Overall I feel like I could have really loved this season if the writers were given more budget and time, and they weren’t, and that’s not their fault. However, I’m really not thrilled about the product we were left with. Which is unfortunately kind of what MAX wants because it has really seemed like they’ve been trying to cut this wildly successful show.

Again, dissatisfaction with a season is not a reason to harass other fans, writers, or actors. I’d love to hear how other people are feeling about things

#ofmd 2 #ofmd season 2 #ofmd spoilers #ofmd izzy #izzy hands #isreal hands #lucius spriggs #critical

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idealisticrealism · 25 days

Text

TCL 3x05 thoughts

The main things:

This ep starts literally immediately after last ep ended, and then takes place over 2 full days

Looks like Thony and Jorge swapped numbers at some point lol; I guess Dante got tired of being the go-between haha. But for a guy that was so concerned yesterday about Thony missing her interview, he sure seems chill about pulling her away today… only to have nothing for her but an unintentionally murdered guy and an uncomfortable fight with his sister lol. That’s a bit embarrassing for you there, Jorge! I like that he later ended the business call about Nadia’s payout to be able to answer her, and then followed through on her request to talk to Ramona on her behalf. And then she shows up at his office– did she google him or did he actually tell her where to find him??-- and tries to convince him to nullify the Amber Alert, and ngl I enjoy the fact that much of their dynamic so far is basically Thony either ordering or begging him to do something, and him being like “No” and making some mocking remark to her about it… and then later doing exactly what she asked/suggested lol. Thony (and especially the potent combination of Thony and Luca) really does have some kind of magic power over the men of this family… though Arman seemed to accept it far more quickly and eagerly than Jorge, who’s still half-heartedly trying to resist haha. But then again, the man still showed up at her court hearing and not only provided the exact thing she asked for, but he also stayed to see the outcome and her reaction?? Like I’m absolutely hearing Nadia’s words to Arman rn: “You love the way she looks at you when you do these things for her. When you are her hero”... Jorge got his first real taste of that during the last ep, and looks like he already wants more haha

Thony and Ramona are clashing more and more which is potentially going to be very problematic for Thony when they lose Arman and she is no longer shielded by her connection to him… but I guess that’s when Jorge’s growing regard for her is going to come into play, and create an interesting divide with the siblings…

Poor Thony reliving the trauma of losing Luca, only even more terrifying this time because instead of Marco (who sucked but was at least relatively safe), he could be with someone who intends to hurt him. “We’ve been down this road before” yeah in more ways than one

“You and Armando will work together, so when I’m gone…(etc)” okay this is a very odd statement for a 50-something to make??? And she later says something about bringing Arman home ‘while there’s still time’-- time for him, or her?? Like is Ramona secretly dying and that’s why she’s so determined to get Arman back, so Jorge will still have family watching over him? Surely the writers wouldn’t use a plotline like that though, not given how we lost Adan…….?

Okay let’s all pretend that we believe that a 6 year old kid, who had barely experienced the world outside his own bedroom before a few months ago, managed to navigate the streets of a major city on foot to a location that’s a 10 minute drive away, and then also somehow snuck into a large public facility undetected and didn't raise red flags as an unaccompanied kid hanging there for hours lol

Ugh so much love for the courtroom scene and the fam all giving their testimony. I love that they were all clearly ready to commit perjury if needed (eg by covering up Thony’s shady activities if asked about it) and that they also said such beautiful, heartfelt things, because god did Thony need to hear those things. After everything she has gone through, and everything that her actions to protect Luca put the rest of the family through, she’d clearly started to question (like we saw in the kitchen earlier with Fi) whether she is actually truly good– a good mother, a good family member, and a good person in general– or if she only brings pain to those around her. The forgiveness and support of her family doesn’t erase what she’s done, but it is going to be a huge part of how she moves forward and grows as a person, and I’m really looking forward to seeing more of that journey.

I also loved that the people trying to take Luca away were two crusty old guys, while Thony’s lawyer (who looked like she was trying not to cry when Thony did her big speech), and the judge, and of course Susan (who, while on the CPS side, is actually fairly impartial and in some ways shows a lot of regard for Thony, and didn’t raise an objection even though she could have) are all women. It feels like a subtle nod to the themes of both motherhood and women supporting other women in this show, and that’s really cool.

Other stuff:

Congrats to Fi for finally getting to have her own Traumatised Showering Scene haha, I think Thony has had at least 2 or 3 by this point. But I did feel for Fi and Chris that they barely even got to begin to unpack what happened to them because things were just immediately about Luca. Also ngl that music/voiceover combo right at the start with the abrupt fadeout was a bit weird lol

“Sometimes I wish I was a turtle, so I could hide in my shell” #relatable

Love the sweet JD/Fi stuff, though this dude needs to recognise his place in the family hierarchy and not make calls that aren’t his to make lol. Leave the dealing with big important stuff to the women, buddy, you’re out of your depth!

Speaking of dudes messing things up… seriously Dante? Accidentally killing the best lead your bosses have to getting their relative back? That’s embarrassingly amateurish. Unless there’s actually more going on here than we realise, and he did it deliberately to keep the guy from talking??

Ok seriously how many doors lead outside from Luca’s room?? I know it’s a converted sun-room and not a proper bedroom, but still, they should at least be locked if not also securely barricaded. Geez.

Ah the many facets of Jorge, comfortable in a homeless camp and while torturing a guy in a warehouse, but also in a courtroom and a fancy corner office, and also while kneeling in a kitchen doorway to earnestly accept a gift of a cupcake from a 5 year old lol

Thony always tells Luca she’s never going to let anything bad happen to him… but uhhh, a little too late there, don’t you think Thony? Poor kid has been through more ‘bad things’ than most adults, and most of them have happened within the last 6 months lol

Lol at Thony trying to tell the officer to drop the charges against Dante and he’s just like ‘nope’ haha. I bet she really misses her surgeon days when she could just give orders and people would follow them without question

No Nadia this week! Honestly it felt weird not to see her; it really feels like she is part of the family now, and I’m looking forward to more of her and Thony working together

Goddamn I really gotta learn Spanish.

#The Cleaning Lady #TCL recaps #TCL spoilers #The cleaning lady spoilers #ngl I liked the ep fine #but I felt weird and empty after watching it #or maybe it was more after watching next week's promo #I think I'm just not ready for the distractions of the Fi & Chris plot and the Luca plot to be over #and to have to face what happens next with Arman #sigh there's gonna be a lot of tears next week I just know it

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yujo-nishimura · 5 months

Text

The Escape - Part 26

Part 1 - Part 2 - Part 3 - Part 4 - Part 5 - Part 6 - Part 7 - Part 8 - Part 9 - Part 10 - Part 11 - Part 12 - Part 13 - Part 14 - Part 15 - Part 16 - Part 17 - Part 18 - Part 19 - Part 20 - Part 21 - Part 22 - Part 23 - Part 24 - Part 25

After he ended this speech and the crew members were determined to not only escape Baroque works, but also fight them in case they would try to pursue you all again, Buggy stepped towards you, asking you to come to his cabin. You hoped he couldn't see from your face what you had been thinking the whole time.

The tension between you and Buggy was almost unbearable as he sat on his chair and you just stood with your back against his door. The sense of disconnection between the two of you lingered, and it seemed that every attempt to mend the relationship and create a healthier dynamic only served to reinforce its toxicity and strangeness. Each time you strove to bridge the gap and find common ground, one or both of you succumbed to the overwhelming power of emotions. "How is your hand?" the captain asks, his voice pulling you back to the present moment. You shift your gaze towards your hand, which is still wrapped in bandages, a reminder of the injury you had inflicted on yourself amidst all the chaos. “It is fine. I have forgotten that I actually had an injury.” You answer honestly. He seems to be satisfied with this and nods.

“Thank you for coming out and rescuing me.”

“I could say the same, Captain.” “May I ask now, why are the marines and Baroque works after you? I know we had this conversation before and you are somehow hesitant.. but I feel if I have a crew member on board where I am not the only one who considered her valuable I might have the right to know why others think the same,..”

"I believe the reasons why the Marines and an assassination syndicate find me intriguing might be quite different from what you perceive as valuable," you say, a playful tone lacing your words. Sensing an opportunity to lighten the mood, you decide to employ a flirtatious joke, taking a slow and deliberate step closer to the captain.

Buggy's eyes widen, caught off guard by your sudden approach. He quickly rises to his feet, his expression shifting from surprise to seriousness.

“Y/n. Please, just try to be honest here with me. Is this something you can share or shall I never ask again and just accept that I have a potential danger on board…?”

You sit down on his bed, the comfortable pillow and sheets push back against you, you crave for a comfortable sleeping place like this since your hammock is not the best place to get rest in.

“Sit down again and I will tell you.”, you breathe out heavily, looking into his deep green eyes, you want to feel these eyes on your forever and you want him to trust you and know more about you than anyone else. You feel ready to let him into your life. More than ever before. Buggy listens, sitting down, his face full of anticipation.

“When I was still in Windmill village and Luffy was still small and innocent, I was 5 years older than him and already in trouble with the world government and the marines.”

Buggy just looks at you, he does not interrupt you now, giving you the time to share your story.

“In fact I was the leader of a rebellious army, nothing serious, just the things you do as a teenager when you are charismatic enough to gather some people around you and if you feel like you want to make a change.”

You cannot endure his gaze any longer and you rest your eyes on your own bandaged hand for a while.

“We were unhappy with the tax collector in Windmill village. I had started a peaceful protest and a campaign against him, although he was sent directly by the world government we thought he was taxing us too much, he came too frequently and the people who had less always had to pay more. It was just a way of terrorizing the oppressed and poor…”

You sigh again, it seemed like this had happened a long long time ago somewhere else, not in the world you lived in now.

“One of my fellow revolutionary members took the whole thing too seriously. I think he also wanted to impress me. His own family was especially affected by this, he was one of the poorest kids in the village and his frustration eventually turned into rage. One day he decided to kill the tax collector in our name and as I tried to stop him, I realized that his anger was beyond my control.”

You gaze at Buggy once more, your eyes filled with sincerity and earnestness.

"He waited for the collector at his house and killed him brutally with a knife. We later discovered that he was not only dispatched by the World Government, but he was also a high-ranking Marine general. Once I learned of this, the World Government began to pursue me as well, as I was the leader of the entire movement," you recount, your voice carrying the weight of the injustice that befell you.

Buggy, with his head slightly tilted, has been attentively listening to your narrative. Now he quickly interrupts you: "But was there no trial? Did they not realize that you were not responsible for these actions?"

You let out a slow, weary sigh. "No," you respond, your voice tinged with sadness. "This individual left a note in his house, claiming that I had inspired him to commit this heinous act. They couldn't find him. Some speculate that he fled on a ship the same day, while others believe he took his own life. Regardless, it does not matter to the World Government who will be punished. They simply require someone to blame, someone to execute."

The absence of a fair trial, the absence of an opportunity to prove your innocence, highlights the unforgiving nature of the World Government's pursuit. You and Buggy both understand the unyielding determination of those in power to find a scapegoat and impose their brand of justice.

Buggy gets up from his chair now, walking towards you and sitting down next to you on the bed. You can feel the warmth of his body, being so close to you you start to feel dizzy again.

“This is why I decided to become a pirate. If I am an outlaw and wanted anyway, then…”

Your voice breaks because Buggy has put his hand on your knees, a very innocent gesture. He did not want to interrupt you, but he also wanted to show his support.

Curiosity fills his eyes as he gently asks, "But if you're wanted, why have I never come across your wanted poster?"

You take a moment to steady yourself, feeling the closeness between you making it difficult to find the right words. With Buggy being so near, you muster the courage to respond, "Different name, different hairstyle." It's a brief explanation, but in this intimate space, it is enough to convey the lengths you've gone to conceal your true identity.

#one piece #buggytheclown #buggy the clown x reader #one piece buggy #buggy x reader #buggy x you #long fanfic #long reads #nanowrimo 2023

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justafairytailofinnocence · 1 year

Note

Hi! If it’s not too much to ask, may I send in another request for Davy Jones in which the reader gets an anxiety attack and turns away from him, refusing for him to see her breakdown? He eventually finds her and he doesn’t leave her side, even after she tells him of what’s going on and he tries his best to reassure her or something?

If not, that’s okay! :)

Hello dear💖, thanks for the request.

Davy Jones x anxious reader🐙🌊

Comfort in an octopus's arms🐙

Summary: Y/n develops a nervous breakdown from a crewmate when Davy confides her in comfort.

warnings: none

-----

Y/n, a girl who’s trapped beneath the curse of the Flying Dutchman, sat below the sleeping quarters of the barnacle infested room. She trailed her fingers against the water droplets falling upside the wooden planked walls; the droplets ran up her fingers hitting the ceiling of the roof. The crew sleeping in the rotten infested bunks grunted and huffed as they slept. The crew that surrounded y/n were no longer men but beasts that were deformed; barnacles grew from their limbs, face or body. Vicious and cruel those men were, never do they spare the dead nor shed any mercy. Y/n placed her arm next to one of Davys men sleeping next to her; just as expected—Clear and smooth, no barnacles, no coral, no deformed fish skin or scales. Y/n was the biggest mystery of all, Davy had cursed each and every member of his crew but her. As a child y/n had heard the tales of Davy Jones from her own father, the most common being: years ago, a man fell in love with the sea only to be betrayed, now he was a deformed monster that shared no mercy upon those that encounter him.

Truly a sad tale but perhaps with redemption, there would be a possible slight chance he could regain the humanity he lost all those years ago.

Y/n turned to her side counting backwards from 10 until they shall resurface.

“10, 9, 8, 7, 6, 5, 4, 3, 2—

1!”

A sudden push of the room shook the sleeping quarters, y/n held onto the side of her bunk bed only to be thrown off. The Flying Dutchman re-surfaced again upon the horizon, the broken, rotten ship sailing back toward it’s proper glory.

Y/n pushed herself from the ground of the cabin, she was covered in sea water and muck. The water droplets coming up from the ceiling soon started to drop down; droplets of water hit y/n’s cheek. The crew awoke with a grunt and sneer, toward the side of the sleeping cabin, a man spat out water looking around. His appearance was somewhat human except, his skin wasn’t fleshy and warm, barnacles were formed on the side of his cheek. He was…lifeless, a lifeless corpse that didn’t need to breath nor eat. His scraggly, wet hair laid all over his shoulders. The clothes he wore were torn and moldy; the lifeless sailor slammed his hand on the wall beside him. A hermit crab was caught within his grasp, raising his hand, he placed the hermit in his mouth with a loud ‘Crunch’.

Y/n cringed at the sight, just the thought of eating a raw, small hermit crab would’ve been awful to taste. “Not much of an early bird, eh? Bootstrap” Y/n smiled.

Y/n and Bootstrap had been somewhat close; “colleagues of the sea” if you had to define their relationship. Y/n and Bootstrap would usually have a game of liars dice now and then, minus the consequences that came with it. Bootstrap had taught y/n all the rules when riding inside the Dutchman, the one thing that caught her mind was the backstory of the captain. Bootstrap wouldn’t give as much information of the captain fearing he may be punished.

“Nah, but better then waking up from too much rum” Bootstrap hoisted himself from the bunk.

Y/n smiled in response; she followed the members of the crew toward the outside onto the main deck. She began to heave a bucket with soggy and mucky water toward the rum pot deckhands on the ship. The upper hand crew held the whips in their hands, their job was to keep the lower souls at bay. Y/n poured the mucky water all over the deck, brushes and rags all scrubbed, cleaning any spot of dirt along the wooden planks. The winds in the skies were holding quite strongly within luck, in y/n’s eyes, she hoped no poor lost soul would come into contact with the Flying Dutchman. On top of the quarter deck, the captain and his first mate looked over the horizon. Y/n turned behind her, she kept her eyes on the captain, thoughts began to plague her mind as she was deep in thought.

“I wonder, what Davy do to turn out this way?”.

“Perhaps was it his cruelty?”.

As y/n dozed off deep in thought, she had backed into a barnacle man with a whip. He was much taller, barnacles and corals covered his eyes. “And wha’ might be your excuse” he growled; sharp, crooked teeth bared his whole mouth. Y/n slowly backed up, her back was placed against a wall “I, I wasn’t supposed to be one of the deckhands sir, I’m just supposed to deliver the water to them.”

The barnacle head bared his teeth, snarling and gnarling at the nervous y/n. Y/n placed her hand over her pistol in-case things got too serious, she did know how to fight but it wasn’t like against the navy or another crew. This was with something inhuman, something monstrous that could y/n in half. Y/n’s fingers were laced over the trigger, her eyes widened to watch what move the barnacle head made next. In response the barnacle head grinned, he dropped the whip and instead grabbed his sword. In one fluid movement he pushed it against y/n’s throat; his face was directly grinning at her. Y/n turned her head away due to the man’s horrible stench, if you had to picture rotten fish sitting out for weeks that’s what it smelt like.

The pistol she held wasn’t close enough within her grasp, the sword pressed against her throat was stopping her from breathing. The air became thin as the barnacle head pushed further and further; her vision was becoming blurry. Y/n had to think fast however it seemed fate had already answered her call. A pistol shot directly into the barnacle heads shoulder; a growl in pain had emerged from the monster. Y/n looked up toward her savoir and long behold it was Davy Jones. Wait—it couldn’t have been him, how could someone as cruel and heartless as Davy someone for the likes as y/n. The captain walked down the steps toward y/n struggling to breath, she turned away from her captain trying to regain her composure. Davy snarled at the crew mate as the Barnacle head stood back. Y/n kept her eyes shut and prayed Davy would just leave her be “Mind tellin’ mah, wha’ in tha’ savan seas as’ goin’ on”.

Y/n pushed herself; she was too worked up trying to calm her hyperventilating down. Davy turned toward y/n however he couldn’t approach her as turned and ran back toward her sleeping quarters.

Davy shouted out “Y/N!” as he followed the girl.

Davy grabbed y/n with his claw hand, his eyes looked deeply into y/n’s, scaring her.

“Captain I’m so—” she began too deeply breath in and out “Sorry”.

Davy’s tentacles curled and twisted as y/n apologized, he didn’t scream nor laugh at her response. “It was my fault for slacking off, I shouldn’t have been distracted” Y/n tried to wipe the tears from her eyes. Her fingers rubbed her eyes as they started to become red.

“How embarrassing, how could I cry in front of the most ruthless captain of all time, I’m a failure, I’m a failure, I’m a—” y/n felt soft tentacles curl against her face; reaching to brush her hair away and wiping the tears falling from her eyes. A hand with a long tentacle reaching from his fingers, touched the back of y/n’s coat; the other crab hand held y/n’s head. Y/n was astonished and bewildered, was Davy Jones hugging her, her? a girl that barely spoke to the captain unless given a direct order.

“Ah ain’t as cruel, ah’ thay say” Davy muttered “Yar bah tha onlah’ soul I would sahve’ in thas’ cruel life”.

Y/n realised that Davy perhaps after all this time, ever since she arrived, he had composed or more so regained some humanity toward her.

“Ya ain’t ah failure” he muttered once more.

Y/n in response wrapped her arms around the captains coat, she felt the edging of his tentacles softly touch her cheek. “I, I thank you for this comfort, Davy” y/n muttered.

“If I ad’ mah heart back, I would give it to you” Davy whispered.

Y/n nuzzled her face into Davy’s shoulder, his coat was wet and slimy but she ignored it. It was nice to have someone care for her or at least know of her anxious feeling.

Two members stuck on the Flying Dutchman sharing their pain together, a pain they can endure in a time of solace in each other’s arms.

Anyways that's all I have for now:

Ta Ta ✨

#pirates of the caribbean oneshot #pirates of the caribbean #Davy Jones x reader #Davy Jones #potc x reader #Potc oneshot #Potc

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lilacmingi · 1 month

Note

I just re-re-re-read Living with Vampires again and for some reason I thought there were more parts I was missing because I thought there were like 8. I don’t know why

But regardless I just wanted to say I’m still very much in love with your Vampire! Seonghwa and I want one. Yeosang is cute too. 10/10 would romance both of them, but if I had to choose it would be the older one tbh because a bias is a bias and I am ✨obsessed✨

Ot8 is good too though!

I feel like the mental imagery for Vampire Seonghwa is like the new ‘Not Okay’ album red and black outfit because his whole look is on 👏 point 👏 (the long hair does it for me)

I’m curious how you actually picture the visuals of your vampire boys as you write about them, would you show us picture references for a better view? Maybe that might get some ideas flowing! If not, it’s still a fun idea to delve into

I was surprised you haven’t written a werewolf skz fic though, since in the Ateez vampire universe you had them as the wolfgang. Is that something you’re also interested in writing, or do you prefer to stick to writing vampires? No pressure! Just curious and love coming back to read your stuff

-💫

It’s nice to hear from you again 💫 anon!! Thank you so much for all the support!! 😭 I’ve worked a little on part 4 but since the last time you checked in I haven’t gotten much done. I do have a Fang Gang group chat chapter from a couple years ago that’s kind of a “bonus” but I haven’t quite figured out how I’m going to post it here, as I can’t find any good fake text apps to make a groupchat. I may just type it out.

I’m actually so excited you asked me this question because I actually DO visualize in my head when I write my vampy boys!! When pt 1 was being written, I was loosely basing them off Black Cat Nero, though I kinda decided to leave it up to the readers which is why there’s not too much detail to how they look besides some of their hair colors. It’s mentioned in part 1 that Hongjoong has dark hair and wears a white Victorian style blouse top with puffy sleeves and a gray and silver vest. These are some of the styles of clothes I imagine (below) the one in the middle specifically makes me think of San because I have a vampire San imagine that I haven’t shared here yet and I clearly pictured him wearing that outfit so that kinda carried over to LW8V lol

This is going be a long response lol so there’s more below about how I visualize each member

Hongjoong has black hair and, like I mentioned earlier, wears Victorian style clothes—they all do, but I can imagine each of them wearing something more “toned down” every so often, (not Seonghwa lol) but I can picture Joong wearing something like he did for Paradigm!

Seonghwa obviously wears ruffly blouses and sometimes embellished jackets and tailcoats. At first I imagined his hair like Wonderland era, but now I more so imagine him with his current long black hair (it’s my favorite 🥴)

Yunho is blonde and I specifically imagine him with his hair styled like it is in the pic below. It fits him well and that’s also what my brain decided to picture so I’ve stuck with it! For clothing, Yunho kinda just wears stuff similar to what’s pictured below

Yeosang is blonde in the series with his hair from Black Cat Nero and/or Inception era. Though while writing part 3 I started to imagine him with his long black hair instead 😩 some other outfits I think Yeo would wear are like the one I added on the left from Halazia era

San has black hair and I picture him in a tight fitting gothic style vest and a white dress shirt underneath, though I can also see him wearing more “modern” things like a black silk top and of course I mentioned he was wearing a lace up shirt in part 3 of LW8V during the Medieval Times segment

Mingi has brown hair. In my mind, it’s usually unstyled and fluffy and I can see him wearing something like from Paradigm; a loose-fitting white shirt (untucked) with a few buttons undone and a loose gothic vest over the top

Wooyoung has long black hair because I’m attached to it and I have a thing for long hair. I imagine him wearing fitting gothic vests and a white dress shirt with small ruffles along the collar or something. When he goes out I can imagine him wearing black trench coats or something like that

Jongho has brown hair and, like the others, wears Victorian style clothing and coats, but he also has some more casual(?) tops like this one from Halazia era which I’m still in love with to this day. I wish the stylists would put him in things like this more often because he looks STUNNING and so pretty

As for your last question, it’s actually crazy you mention that because over the last 3 days or so I’ve been on character.ai messing around with some werewolf AU ideas I had for Chan just seeing if I could flesh out some ideas and I have two REALLY GOOD ones that I’d like to write!! I also have one that’s been sitting in my drafts for a couple years that I haven’t touched because I don’t really know where I’m going with it just yet lol. As for Chan in LW8V you can expect him to make a return with some extra buddies. I have so much planned for them for part 4 😈

#chats with lila #💫 anon #living with 8 vampires #this was a lot haha #but I had a lot to say!

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bunnidid-reviews · 2 years

Text

Possible accessible OSDDID App Review

Simply Plural !

Facts:

What type of app it is: An app for tracking what parts/alters are fronting

Compatibility: Seems to be available for apple and android products, as well as browser support

Size: 66.5 MB

Internet required: Yes

Does it share my data?: You’re able to share your information with friends. Most things are set to be private initially

Lockable: You can log off as needed

Light and dark mode are available in-app as well as syncing with your device’s settings. There’s also a more accessible font option, which I thought was a nice touch.

Personal thoughts:

Personal difficulty using(0 being the most easy, 10 being impossible): 9

How easy to add your parts: 2

How easy to switch between parts: 7-8?? It took me a long time to figure out how to even do this, but once you figure out how its maybe a 5

Personal avoidance level: 10, no parts wanted to use this app

Safe to say, I’m perplexed by this app. Let me show you some screenshots

We start with this clusterfuck of options. As someone who’s dissociating and dyslexic all these different directions that hold the exact same weight as eachother are really confusing! A young or badly confused part might think User Report is the same thing as making a note of who’s out right now

Maybe this is helpful to someone, but to me, it looked like way too much even on a present day

This is the ‘Members’ list. Where all the parts are listed. There are a lot of symbols here that aren’t listed in any of the help sections that I’ve had to clumsily figure out by trial and error. Like apparently the arrows next to the names are.. Making a note of who’s here in the moment? I had no idea until just now.

Also they’re sorted alphabetically. Never in the history of Ever have I sorted my parts this way?? Sorry, this is the stuff I’m really specific about.

Evidently the bottom buttons are how to view who’s fronting at the moment. I can’t figure out what ‘custom front’ is for

Here’s what a part looks like when you open them up from the list. You have a lottttt of info you can go through and add using the icons at the top. I like that it has this many options for people who are probably a lot more serious for the use of the app.

When I first used it some years ago, I had no idea the Visibility was an option, so you might want to make sure it’s set to what you need it to be to feel secure (Private, shown to trusted friends, or shown to all friends)

Here’s the side bar, with lots and lots of options again, but at least these are a little more sorted and I would’ve preferred this for the main page.

Now, let’s look at Add Front Entry...

Okay, so there’s a detailed front entry and a quick front entry option. The detailed front entry looks like this:

....

My dear OSDDID friends, I ask you, Do you know how long the part previous to yourself started fronting, from the date, the hour, the minute?? and when they stopped???????? Not even you, the previous parts who were here.

I think the quick entry would’ve been better if you could add the hours options yourself, because most everyone I know with a dissociative disorder has a very different rate of switching, and 2 hours is not enough for the people who might switch once in days or weeks. (I personally shift from one group of parts to another every few days to a week)

At this point if you’re thinking that “She just doesn’t understand, I’ve been using this app and it just takes a learning curve to use..”, I invite you to realize that this app has no margin for error, no lenience for our I Don’t Know Myself Disorder, no room for considering dissociation and it’s varying forms and general blurriness.

I wondered for a moment why it was like this...

Ah-ha.

The Plural Association is organization that hopes to eliminate the difference between OSDDID and non-disordered plurality, effectively de-medicalizing a Dissociative Disorder.

I read some of these links and quite a few of them focused on the ‘beautiful mind of having plurality’ rather than the dark reality of where a dissociative disorder comes from, being a trauma disorder. Downplaying DID as ‘Not Getting Along With Your Headmates’ disorder. There was just enough reasonable and flowery language for them to sprinkle blatant misinformation throughout, tricking you into believing things that may be harmful if you actually have a Disorder that needs treatment.

I have no doubt that people with non-disordered plurality are experiencing something. I can’t claim to know enough about someone’s mind to say otherwise, of course. I think saying Endogenics don’t exist shuts down people who might actually need help.

However, the mixture of OSDDID and Endogenics like this is very very harmful when it comes to creating ‘accessibility’ like this. It takes away from the actual point of what would be helpful for someone with a DD, like communication between parts, the slow breakdown of dissociative barriers, and for many, the lesser separation between parts and goals towards coming together.

The Plural Association wants you to be separate, but also know all parts, which can be incredibly dangerous to venture into yourself if you have a lot of trauma(and therefore parts) you don’t know. Integration, Fusion, and taking it slowly and at the pace recommended by a professional, are really wonderful and personal parts of healing and shouldn’t be snubbed out by the pressure to be As Plural As Possible. Exactly like this app does

Final thoughts:

This app is needlessly complicated. I mean, maybe it can be really helpful if you go through and learn everything about it. I’ve only been picking at it for a week and barely scratched the surface. I feel like it must be like an art program, it takes you a lot of hard work and practice to settle into using it.

The premise is not at all for me. Not in all my years of knowing and figuring out my DID have I ever found it useful to *just* have a record of who switched when. Sure, it can be enlightening. But I’d find a lot more use in a text app where my Personas can make note of what’s going on in the moment, how they’re feeling, why they’re there.

Simply Plural is not at ALL simple or accessible to the common dissociated user.(me) Many times I peeked at it, I got confused easily and lost. It feels like a winding house where one room leads to the next and the next without hallways.

It’s a lot especially for people who have less distinct parts too. or many of them! they’d all be placed in the same alphabetical order without any distinction between distinct and nondistinctive parts, or subsystems.

I’m extremely uncomfortable that you could technically find people on here, and find their information if they didn’t have the right privacy settings on. I didn’t feel completely safe putting all my parts on here, capping it at the main 16. Even more so, there’s the ability to give someone a ‘token’, which is customizable access to your information, including being able to write and add things, as well as delete them. I could easily see an abuser use this for the worst. What in the world?!?!?

I try to keep my reviews light and positive because I believe there’s merit in any DID media to various ranges of accessibility for people. But this one I just cannot recommend. I hope you understand my points as to why

If this app works for you, dissociation and all, then I’m really glad for you! If you’re endogenic and don’t have dissociative issues, maybe it’s more suited to whatever it is you...do with your parts? ? (I don’t know enough, sorry)

Would I recommend this app to someone with OSDDID? Nope.

#dissociative identity disorder #otherwise specified dissociative disorder #actuallydid #simply plural #did apps #DID in media #dissociative identity disorder media #app review #app recommendation #long post #bunnidid reviews

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unhingedmarvelandclassicwhobuff · 1 year

Photo

I wish I was exaggerating, but I’ve seen a ton of people unironically call her a Nazi.

Anyway, I know a Wanda defense post was circulating through here just a few days ago, but screw it, I’ve had this on my drive for the longest time, so here y’all go. This is every argument I can think of for why Wanda deserved at least some mercy for her actions in Age of Ultron (some of these are taken from the prelude comics, which are canon):

Their parents were killed by a Stark Industries bomb at age 10. Such a horrific experience that young would make anyone hate Tony, even into adulthood. If Tony wasn’t a negligent warmonger, then this never would’ve happened. (Something I find funny is that the people who try to villainize Wanda for her hatred of Tony are often the same ones who think Tony was completely justified when he tried to murder Bucky in Siberia).

Sokovia was based on Eastern European countries that are full of anti-American propaganda, and no matter what age you are, that can be very persuasive.

Wanda and Pietro were approached by List for the experiments. They did not actively seek out Shieldra.

Steve’s conversation with Maria Hill offers some insight into their mindset as well; they just wanted to help their country and volunteered to be made into warriors the same way he was. (It will never not be hilarious to me that anti-Team Cap people claim that saying this means that "Steve is a Nazi sympathizer". Like... what?)

The riots they took part in were in fact orchestrated by Hydra to draw out potential candidates for the experiments. They were being manipulated.

Their motivation wasn't just petty revenge; it was to help their struggling country (hence why when Agatha asks Wanda about it years later, she says "we wanted to change the world". A lot of people took this to mean she was a loyal Hydra agent, when this could not be further from the truth). The possibility of vengeance for their parents was nothing but a silver lining.

The twins were told that they were working for SHIELD, not Hydra. As far as I know, it has never been confirmed if they knew the Avengers worked for SHIELD.

The very first time we see the twins, they are in prison cells. This alone should tell you that they are not equal members of Hydra.

This one is based on nothing but headcanon, but here we go: in the first Avengers film, the team was acting irrationally after just a few minutes in the same room as Loki’s scepter. Wanda and Pietro were exposed to it for a much longer time. I would argue that it amplified their desire for vengeance to the point where their judgement was impaired. It's not a coincidence that they only turned on Ultron after the scepter was dismantled.

After Strucker's base was destroyed, the twins did not try to carry on Hydra's agenda; they went back to living on the streets of Novi Grad and helping civilians (there is even a deleted scene where Pietro helps out some homeless children). They only got involved again because Ultron recruited them. Had he never come online they likely would have become heroes of Sokovia and eventually either joined the Avengers or at least made peace with them anyway.

What Wanda did to the Avengers is not mind-rape. What she did was show them their fears (or I guess in Steve and Nat’s case a glimpse of the past). How they responded to that is on them.

The Ultron program was in the works LONG before Wanda showed Tony his fears, so don’t you dare try to tell me that she planted the idea in his head. You also can’t tell me that she made him believe that “a suit of armor around the world” was a good idea, because he says the exact same thing at the start of Endgame with no prompting whatsoever. She didn’t even reawaken the idea like so many Tony stans love to claim; he thought of it

As far as Wanda knew, the only thing the scepter did was either kill you or give you powers. She most likely expected Tony to try and recreate Strucker's experiments on her and get himself killed trying to get powers. She had absolutely no way of knowing the scepter would allow Ultron to exist as he did.

Wanda’s illusions incapacitated everyone she touched in Africa. She most likely expected the same thing to happen to Bruce. Also, Johannesburg is over 300 miles from the African Coast. I seriously doubt Wanda made him run that far (or even knew the city existed).

If we do accept the idea that she was a willing member of Hydra, even that doesn’t necessarily mean she doesn’t deserve mercy. There were a lot of former Nazis who were given amnesty after World War Two. And even failing that, like I said earlier there are times when real world logic just doesn’t work for superhero stories.

When Vision is born he is depicted as a being of pure goodness. If he approved of Wanda, that’s enough for me.

The textbook definition of a terrorist is “a person who uses unlawful violence and intimidation, especially against civilians, in the pursuit of political aims.” Wanda, even when she is serving Ultron, never goes out of her way to harm innocent people (I’ve already covered what she did with Bruce), and she has no political agenda (unless you count wanting to help her country generally), only a desire for vengeance.

You can argue all day about how feeling remorse for your actions doesn't make you better, but she very clearly feels terrible about everything; just watch her scene with Clint near the end of the movie; she has a fucking panic attack because the gravity of everything is finally hitting her, and she is overwhelmed with guilt.

I will admit, her AoU story does feel incomplete. At no point is there a scene where the Avengers debate what to do with her, or whether or not she even deserves mercy or can be trusted. After joining them out of necessity she is accepted as a permanent member without any sort of bridge. But then again, AoU is just not a very good film in general, so I’ll chalk it up to that.

TL;DR - Wanda and Pietro were victims of circumstance and manipulation, as well as a deep-seated hatred caused by severe trauma. Despite some messy writing in their introduction, they. Are. Not. Monsters.

[I know it’s silly to be over-analyzing actions that Wanda has already been narratively redeemed for, and all of this is kind of a moot point after what she has done recently, but to this day I see people arguing that she is a “mind-raping Nazi terrorist bitch who should’ve been depowered, imprisoned, and/or executed, so I felt the need to compile this.]

#wanda maximoff #wanda maximoff defense squad #wanda is not a nazi #which you'd think goes without saying #ultron wasn't wanda's fault

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