#might have one drawing/sketch for december but that's very up in the air | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

its-short-for-jackalope · 1 year

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greetings! i have made a thing! ✨️two✨️ things!

✨️ sketchboooooooooooks! ✨️

it took longer than anticipated (I've been trying to get this done since the end of last year, oops) but I finally finished putting these together today. all that's left to do is decorate the covers and start drawing in 'em!

they are slightly–moderately wonky and pretty clearly handmade, but I love them. gives em charm. these are only the second and third books I've made myself so I'm still learning.

if you're interested I'll drop a few more photos and babble a little about the process under the cut! (definitely not a tutorial if that's what you're hoping for lol i was winging it the whole time)

okay so we'll start with the little guy. this is meant to be more of a travel sketchbook.

I wanted something fairly small that I could take on the go without it being too much of a hassle, because I'm also hoping to get out more and like... go for walks to the park or the cemetery or w/e and try doing some studies and life drawing and such. or just get some fresh air and doodle while I make a valiant attempt to get some vitamin D.

THE PROCESS

both sketchbooks are made out of materials I just had lying around, but this one is even more "recycled" lmao

i took the inside pages from an old sketchbook, and about half of them had previously been used, so I went and erased my old sketches as much as I could (they were bad and low effort, so it's no loss I assure you) and that was a boring and frustrating endeavor but it was worth it because, well, I get to use the paper again! I did a very poor job the first time around, I almost never drew on both sides of the page and so many pages were just one shitty sketch and nothing else 🙈

i sorted the pages into signatures (tried to mix up the used and new paper because it'd annoy me if I had just like one big chunk of ghost drawings and then the rest of the book was good and clean lol) and stitched those together and then put just a couple layers of glue on the spine to hold it together.

I made the cover by gluing two pieces of thin cardboard together for each part (front cover, back cover, spine) to make em sturdier, and then I trimmed them down to size and glued the pieces to a paper shopping bag. I didn't have the patience to try flattening the cover under a heavy book or anything, so it's a little warped and will kind of open up on its own so I'm just using the binder clip to hold it closed. plus idk it looks cool!

once the cover was done and dry I just... glued it all together! added the end pages i cut out of construction paper to the.. chunk of book? the book brick? (is there a technical word for it when the signatures are all together....?) and then glued the other sides of the end pages to the inside covers.

now for the second book! the big boy!

this fella was intended to be the grand, improved follow-up to the first sketchbook I put together, and I started working on it right when said first book started running out of paper.

this one is the wonkier of the two but I think it's definitely a few steps up from the original, and I'm pleased with it. this is gonna be my everyday sketchbook, so I wanted it to have a ton of pages so I can use it for a good long while. I think it's at least twice as thick as my first sketchbook. 😂

THE PROCESS

...basically the same as the travel sketchbook, just bigger! the pages are sourced from a different sketchbook, one I started using in high school and promptly forgot about upon graduation.

fun fact: the end pages are covered in countless tiny little hatch lines that i drew by hand while I watched/listened to something on my computer. I don't quite remember what I was watching at this point, but it was almost certainly something from Starkid... probably VHSCC on repeat, since I did this part back in november/december. it might sound tedious but I shit you not I was thrilled to do this part and it was just a blissful neurodivergent turn the brain off and vibe kind of time.

the biggest difference in this process was doing the cover; it's not cardboard, it's some kind of particle board.. thing that was salvaged from the back of a busted picture frame. it is VERY stiff and sturdy and I did not cut the pieces out so much as score the board with my box cutter as deeply as I could, bend it back and forth, and pray it didn't break. 😅 the cover-cover is from the same bag I used on the smaller book!

most of the wonkiness comes from the fact that the cover is sliiiiiiiightly too small for the book brick inside. I had limited material for the cover so I couldn't stretch that at all, I made the cover as big as I possibly could, but I also did not feel like trimming the inside pages so that they would fit better because that would have taken FOREVER and also probably killed me. 😫 soooo the pages stick out a little bit, but that's fine and it doesn't bother me much. 🤷🏻‍♂️

and that's my two sketchbooks! finished em both up over 3 days after procrastinating for at least a month. and now that they exist I can finally draw again!!! been wanting to do that for WEEKS.

if you read all of this I hope you got something out of it, lol. whether you did or didnt, here's a skull for your troubles.

😊🤲🏻💀

enjoy!! <3

#jack jabbers #sketchbook #handmade sketchbook #crafting #crafty #bookmaking #book binding #crafter

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maudfs · 1 year

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It's that time again for the summary of art! 2022 is on its way out and it was certainly a year...

This was the year of the water tiger in the Chinese Zodiac. I enjoy using Zodiac things as prompts AND my birth year was of the tiger, so that is January's image. I used the lasso tool for a lineless look, it was fun.

February's image is a bunch of air type raptors of a species I have been thinking of for a while. I was trying to flesh out what markings they would have and what kinds of color morphs might exist. (front to back: rare (sunset), common (blue-jay), melanistic (dark), leucistic (light), and albino) Of course they are not finished (I guess headworlds are never really finished) but I would like to someday update my websites bestiary with all the characters and species I've created and these would be one of the featured ones.

March's image is for an Ovipets challenge that I won! It is a Catus with butterfly wings looking at butterflies in a field of clover.

In April I made a bunch of shuffle-style icons and little sprites for my characters for things like their toyhouse pages or my website... so basically a bunch a stuff that won't get posted by itself.

For May here is a sketch of Fulvina from Spectrobes (the thing my Fulvina is named after! I had to draw it eventually, but) I didn't finish it at the time because I was having trouble with the lines, though I do plan on finishing it. Spectrobes as a whole could use some more love!

June's image is Amdy as a Unicorn, as I was seeing Junicorn challenges but didn't want to draw something every single day. I also chose this because well, why do I have so many so-called shapeshifters yet I only draw them in one form? I should show what else they can do!

July is ArtFight month and this time around I found some very cool characters to draw including a dragon named Colors! This was very fun to draw.

August I created a character called Daemon, seen here. Haven't really fleshed him out much though XD.

September Flight Rising released a gene called Soap that makes the dragon extra shiny, and I knew I had to draw it. What better than a vaporwave dragon? Flight Rising has released a LOT of stuff this year now that I think about it!

For October, a WIP of Alban... didn't finish much this month. I wanted to draw some Halloween images and make a bat-sona but that didn't happen in time. Somewhat related, this is the third year in a row I started to feel depressed beginning in October and into the winter, DESPITE loving Halloween and colder weather, so I'm wondering if that's a sign of seasonal depression or something? Yeah.

November's image is more Ovipets, this time dogs (Canis and Lupus) playing in fallen leaves. Used lots of different CSP brushes in this one. (For the single purchase version, of course... as if I'd deal with a monthly subscription for an art program... I don't know who thought THAT was a good decision)

December I finished this piece of Cygnet. I was going to try to draw more for December, but the sheer cold of this country wide snowstorm(!) seems to have put me in hibernation mode, so I'm gonna go ahead and finish with this.

Now's also a good time to say that I still don't mess with ΝFТ's or АI art, (I don't consider either of these things to be “art” and I don't have the energy to argue about it) so I've been experimenting with new watermarks to try and combat that in a subtle way... still watching Twitter catch fire. Still wearing a mask (end date: undefined). Still love playing Legends Arceus... STILL too shy to socialize!! Come on, that's gonna end up being my new year's resolution for like, every year! Gosh XD But I must continue to try... I must..!

As always, thank you for coming by and reading. :3

#maudfs #summaryofart #summaryofart2022

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billyboymiki · 3 years

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5 Works Tag Game

Rules: it’s time to love yourselves! choose your 5 (ish) favorite works you created in the past year (fics, art, edits, etc.) and post or link them below to reflect on the amazing things you brought into the world in 2020. tag as many writers/artists/etc. as you want (fan or original) so we can spread the love and link each other to awesome works!

I got tagged by @tippenfunkaport and @caramelaire for this tag game!!

I’m not one to compliment myself on anything honestly. Recently I remember thinking about how I barely drew anything this year. There was a part of my brain nagging at me to check how much I had drawn last year. So, I uh did. Turns out I drew basically nothing?! I triple checked this in fact. My DeviantART, Tumblr AND my camera roll. Nothing . . . I drew 5 very basic pinback button designs and that was it. I couldn’t believe it; but, it made be feel so much better about what I did this year. Basically my whole instagram is all artwork from this year, since I am actually really new to IG. I got super close to 40 works this year!

Now onto the works! They are in order of when I drew them 😊

Glimmer Inspired Patterns

I wanted to teach myself how to make patterns on Clip Studio so bad! I watched a couple of YT tutorials, and I can’t even remember why I decided to make She-ra ones specifically; I’m glad I did though! The Glimmer one means so much to me. Just looking at makes me so happy! The fact that so many people have now called it ‘aesthetically pleasing’ makes me feel as though I actually created a work that others could relate to. That was enough praise for me; to create something for myself that everyone else loved as well 💖

Glimbow Cuddle

This was my first real She-ra artwork. When I saw there was a Glimbow Week again I knew I had to join this one. I don’t know if anyone knows this; but, drawings take me forever to make. I used to be strictly a traditional artist and still prefer to draw rough drafts on paper. I couldn’t decide if I wanted them on Glimmer’s window seat or in Bow’s dads’ library. I was afraid of doing backgrounds; so, both sounded absolutely terrifying. I decided to go for the fireplace even if it meant fancy lighting on top of the background aspect. I think I actually spent more time on the lighting that’s hitting Bow than on anything else in this picture. It was worth it though. I studied how the show did backgrounds and lighting for a while. I tried so many different attempts at how I wanted it to look and ultimately went with this one! I love it so much 🥺

Bow’s list with doodles

Ah, yes the drawings I did for Tippen’s birthday!! I knew I wanted to draw a scene from ‘Tuna Cans’, but I was worried to try something like this. You see, I’m somebody that likes to stay in a comfort zone and only uploaded fully rendered perfect artworks. This year was the first time that I let the ‘fun’ aspect overrule my perfectionism. I’m so happy that I stepped out of my comfort zone for this, because I love Chibi styles so much. I can’t even explain the absolute joy I had drawing these. I didn’t tell anyone what I was up to, so it was just me laughing at myself for being an absolute goofball. The end result and everyone’s reactions were more than I could have ever expected. I’ve decided I’m going to revive this style soon as well so please look forwards to it!!

Space Suit Squad

Okay, so I cheated a little with this one! I couldn’t just pick ONE of the squad. Honestly though, I drew these with the thought of making them into prints in the back of my mind. I taught myself how to draw a space background and I’m really proud of it! So much in fact that the one in the final pictures is the first and last one I ended up doing! If I had to pick my favorites I think I’d have to pick Glimmer, Bow and then Catra. I LOVE the way I draw Catra I don’t know why? Maybe the eyebrows I’m not sure 🤔 It took me a while to decide on expressions and poses; although, I figured these were the ones because I could look at them and go ‘yep that’s them.’

Winter Glimbow

This one took me soooo long; I actually had to tell myself that I should put my pen down because it was done and I should stop touching it!!! I was sketching pictures in my sketchbook to make more patterns for my Redbubble account, and of course I’m like 100% Glimbow brainrot. My brain went, oooo you know what would be cute? If this skate was actually Bow’s and not just generic. So, I ended up sketching Glimmer’s as well. The heart that their skates make is like the cherry on the top for me, it had to be done! I’m not sure I did the background justice on this one? It doesn’t matter to me though because the concept was worth the effort. It was snowing here and I needed this picture like I needed air, even if it wasn’t even December at the time I posted it 🤣 I liked this one so much that I have similar ideas for the other seasons sketched out as well 👀

I’m sorry that I ramble so often. I’m like this quiet person; yet, it’s hard for me to get out everything I want to say? I’m horrible at it actually my brain runs at a hundred miles a minute and I’m not good with words most of the time. This turned out as more of a thought process than my actual feelings on each one I suppose. SO, in conclusion. I drew A LOT, I stepped out of my comfort zone, taught myself digital art and patterns. I let myself come to terms with the fact that not every piece of art has to be ‘perfect’. I drew at least 5 FULL backgrounds and I never used to draw them! I’ve also always been one for simple shading and lighting, and I do think there’s a time for that type of style, while other times sometimes a more difficult one might be appropriate. I’m glad that I did both because now I know I can do both, and they each give a characteristic that I adore 🥰 Thank you to everyone that has followed me through this journey, or just anyone who read my rambling! I have an honorable mention under the cut and some originals for anyone that made it this far! 💖

I’m not going to tag anyone; but, if you want to do this PLEASE do it. It was so great to reflect on what I did this year, it really surprised me and I think what you have done will surprise you as well! It’s been a rough year, and in the end we have been here supporting each other and that’s one of the most rewarding parts of being in a fandom! 💜

Glimmer screencap redraw

Another picture where I really tested myself on drawing a background! I love it even if it killed my hand!! The background definitely took the longest on this one too. My sister literally said ‘Wait, you did the background? I thought you just drew her?!’ And that was the only validation I needed!! I ended up thinning out Glimmer’s outline so she matched the background better. If you use the vectors on Clip please use this feature! You can do the opposite as well, it’s super useful!

Oh hi! Remember when I said I couldn’t decide between the two locations? Truth is, I also couldn’t decide if I was going to make it traditional or digital. I ended up getting really mad at the traditional version unfortunately. I haven’t gotten the hang of traditional backgrounds. In the end, I should have also done it in Copic and not cheap pencil crayons 😫

Just some space friends! There is something so rewarding about traditional art. Yes, I can see the mistakes and the proportions are most likely off; yet, it doesn’t bother me? I wanted to also show these bonus drawings because nobody is perfect and I thought some of you might like to see some of my process. Being able to hold it in my hands is something I will never tire of, in a way it’s super rewarding. I keep all my art actually and sometimes I like the rough drafts more than the finished work 👀 Outlining artwork can actually ruin the charm every so often 😔 I do really love the final versions of these though!

Annnnnd the last bonus!! As you can tell the final version stayed pretty true to my sketches! I almost went with a more realistic look and made the symbols ‘stitched’ onto the skates. In the end it felt like it didn’t fit the rest of the drawing unless I wanted to add extra details to the clothing as well. The wings on Glimmer’s skates turned into ‘Shwings’ PLEASE tell me other people know what that is? I had a pair a few years ago and misplaced them. I was doing the rough draft and it popped into brain and I treated it as a joke at first, until I gave it a proper chance XD In the end I fell in love with it!!!

#she-ra #spop #fanart #tag game #billyboymiki #Miki speaks #long post #sorry #my art #I actually cried a little writing all of this 😱#the only thing I wanted to do really bad this year was make an spop amv #I might juggle art and making one so I can get one out at some point

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clumsyclifford · 3 years

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bella! I don't know if you're taking requests/prompts? but if you ever feel like writing anything based on just friends by saint morgan, that'd be cool? xD (whichever ship you think it fits, but it reminds me of that cake fic you wrote based on "silent confessions at the foot of your bed") anyway yeah that's all

shal !! it took me two months but i finally got around to writing this. since you mentioned g&c cake i made it cake, and yes i did loop the song the entire time i was writing it (29 times!). also i have to say, EXCELLENT taste. listening to that song 29 times really made me love it. also i recommend listening to it while reading for optimal experience. anyway i hope i did it justice <3

They go to the river.

River is a generous word for what’s really a racing stream, but the ambience is nice. It’s a warm Tuesday in December, and Calum’s restless for adventure. Luke can tell — somehow Luke can always tell; Calum doesn’t think he’s an open book but Luke only needs to give him a critical once-over before he’s got Calum figured out — so Luke suggests they go to the river, and Calum eagerly agrees.

Neither of them bothers to put on better clothes for swimming. They’re not really planning to swim, though it might happen anyway. It’s just nice to be outside on a gorgeous day like this. And Calum will take any and all opportunities to spend time with Luke.

“Dare you to go in,” he says as they approach the bank. Luke laughs.

“Darers go first.”

“Fine.” There’s no way Calum’s getting in; it’s warm but not that warm, and he doesn’t want to be cold the rest of the afternoon. Maybe he can manipulate Luke into getting in, though. He’s seen Luke caught in a rainstorm before, so he knows from experience that nobody looks quite as pretty while drenched.

It’s too late for Calum to pretend he’s not thinking it, or convince himself that he doesn’t have the world’s worst crush on Luke, so he’s learning just to let himself indulge when he can.

“You so won’t,” Luke scoffs. Then he shrugs. “It’s nice out, though. Maybe in a little bit.”

Calum concedes this with a tilt of the head, and in tandem they sit down on the grass nearby, claiming a shady spot under a tall tree. Luke leans back, stretching his arms behind his head like a pillow, and closes his eyes. Calum props himself up on his elbow and watches Luke.

Some people are winter people, best framed against clean white snow and wrapped up in layers. Luke is a summer person. His skin gleams under the sun, eyes and sky competing to be bluest. T-shirts and shorts suit him best, and even hidden in the shade of the tree, he’s dappled with sunlight through the leaves. Pretty is hardly sufficient; he’s one of the most beautiful people Calum’s ever met, ever seen in his life.

They don’t talk for a minute. Luke’s eyes flutter open, as if by accident, but when he sees Calum they stay open. “What?”

“What, what?”

“Don’t stare at me,” Luke says, pink-cheeked.

“Are you uncomfortable?”

“No,” Luke says immediately, and then, “but just — don’t.”

Calum shifts so he’s on his back, side by side with Luke but not quite touching. “Fine, weirdo.”

“You’re the one who was staring!”

“Well, you’re the one who made it weird.”

“It’s weird to stare at your friends.”

“I don’t think it is. Not when they look like you.”

Luke is quiet. “Still,” he finally says, and that’s a soft rejection, but it had been a soft attempt anyway, so Calum takes it with a grain of salt.

Another couple minutes pass. It’s not humid, but the warmth lingering in the air makes Calum feel a bit drowsy, so he closes his eyes also, allowing them both to soak in the summer silence.

Luke breaks it by saying, “Um, this is a stupid question, but we’re really friends, right?”

Calum frowns without opening his eyes. “Of course we are,” he says. “That is a stupid question.”

“I guess you wouldn’t tell me if we weren’t,” Luke continues, like he hasn’t heard Calum.

“I wouldn’t be friends with you at all if we weren’t,” Calum argues. He opens his eyes and turns once again onto his side to look at Luke, who’s now gazing up at the branches above them. “What are you even saying?”

“I don’t know,” Luke says. He’s blushing deeply. “Never mind. Forget I said anything.”

“Why do you ask?” Calum presses. “What are you thinking about?”

Luke shakes his head. “Nothing. Never mind.”

It’s obviously not nothing — Luke’s leg is bouncing, the way it does whenever he gets nervous — but Calum can’t imagine he’ll get any further with the third degree, so he backs off.

“I’m gonna get in the water,” he decides. He’s not totally sure what makes him say it, but it gets the result he’d hoped for: Luke purses his lips and says, “Me too, then.”

They both get to their feet and brush themselves off. “Is there dirt on my back?” Calum asks, turning out and attempting to look over his shoulder.

Luke steps behind him. “A bit, yeah,” he says. With one hand he braces Calum’s shoulder, and the other brushes the dirt off Calum’s t-shirt. Calum swallows, trying not to squirm under Luke’s firm grasp. As soon as he’s done, Luke moves away, and Calum reaches for the collar of his shirt and pulls it off.

Luke makes a noise. “What are you doing?”

Calum turns to him. “I’m not getting my shirt wet, I’ll just be colder,” he says, drawing his eyebrows together.

Luke bites his lip. “Oh. That makes sense.”

It does make sense, but it also does exactly what Calum had intended. After a moment’s hesitation, Luke also tugs his shirt off, and they both head for the stream.

The current is slow today, and when Calum trudges into the water it goes up to the middle of his stomach. He bends his knees and watches Luke slowly wade in after him, staring once again. Luke is skinny, but there’s something sculpted about him, like none of him is by accident; like someone built him, or sketched him with a ruler and then brought him to life, clean lines and sharp edges. Calum is dying to touch him, just to see if his skin is as hot as the sunlight it’s made of, if dragging a hand down his arm makes him bleed, if his hair is as soft as it looks.

More than all of that, Calum wants to kiss him, so much he thinks he might lose his mind if he doesn’t get to.

Luke sinks low in the water, digging his heels into the riverbed so he doesn’t drift away. Calum lets the current bring him closer.

“Kinda cold,” Luke says, giggling. Calum looks at him and can’t look away.

“Kinda,” he says. “Bet you’re glad you’re not wearing a shirt now.”

“I am,” Luke acquiesces. “You’re a genius, Calum.”

“That is true. I am a genius.” There’s a pause. “You should dunk your head,” Calum says. “We should both. On three.”

“Really? You want to put your head in this water?”

“It’s just water.”

Luke ponders this but fails to come up with a decent counter-argument. “Fine,” he says. “Promise you’ll actually do it?”

“It was my idea,” Calum says, rolling his eyes. “Yes, I promise.”

“On three, then.” Luke bobs up and down. “One, two — three!”

True to his word, Calum submerges himself completely, then surfaces and shakes his head out. Luke has also kept his word, and his hair is plastered ridiculously to his forehead until he reaches up and pushes it back with one hand. The light is threading itself through the sheen of water over Luke’s shoulders and chest. Calum is helpless against it; Luke was made to be gazed at, and Calum is just a lucky spectator.

“You’re staring again,” Luke says quietly. Calum smiles and floats nearer to him.

“Yes I am,” he says easily. “You’re very easy to stare at.”

Luke’s cheeks turn red. “Don’t say things like that.”

“Why not?”

“Because,” Luke says, flustered. “Because — I don’t know.”

“Do you want me not to?”

“Not to…what?”

Calum bites his lip, waving a hand underwater and sending the flow this way and that. “Whatever it is you’re telling me not to do.”

Luke shakes his head. “It’s just — never mind.”

“You can tell me, you know,” Calum says. Luke’s not moving away, which is a good sign, so Calum straightens up. He feels like he’s towering over Luke until Luke also straightens up, and then, hesitantly, Calum takes a step closer. One more step and they’ll be touching; one more step for Calum to be the first person ever to make contact with the sun. “You don’t have to say never mind. I want to know.”

Luke looks away, down at the rocks and sand under their feet. “My mum says she thinks you’re trouble.”

That’s not what Calum had been expecting. “What?” he says, strained. “Why?”

“I don’t know,” Luke mumbles. “She says she thinks you’re going to be one of those people who takes the shy kid under their wing and then just ditches him a few weeks later. Like, one of those popular kids.”

Calum makes an offended noise. “I would never do that!”

“She’s looking out for me,” Luke says, and he sounds tired. “I mean, I…I’ve never really had close friends, so I think she’s just being overprotective. I don’t know. She got in my head. That’s why I asked you that, earlier.”

“Luke, I’d never. You know I’d never. We’re really friends. You’re one of my best friends.” Calum takes a deep breath. “You believe me, right?”

Luke finally lifts his gaze to meet Calum’s. “Yeah, I do. I just don’t think my mum will. I tried to tell her that and she wouldn’t listen.”

Calum is itching to take that last step, but there’s something stopping him. Maybe it’s just the look on Luke’s face. “Is she — does she hate me?”

Luke shrugs. “It’s more like she really doesn’t trust you. So…I guess that’s the same. Sorry, Calum. I mean — I like you, though. And I know she’s wrong.” Something occurs to Calum. “Does she know you’re with me right now?”

Luke laughs a bit, though it’s clear he doesn’t find it funny. “No, uh…I told her we’re not friends, anymore.” He winces. “I know that’s — I know that’s not — I’m a coward, you know? But —”

“It’s okay,” Calum says with difficulty. “You don’t want to upset her.”

“It’s more like I just wanted her to stop shit-talking you,” Luke says. “She doesn’t talk about you anymore, so.”

“That’s good.” Calum bites his lip, hesitant. “I thought you were going to say it was something to do with, like, hanging out with the gay kid or something.”

Luke’s face twists into an expression of horror. “No! Calum, no way.” He breathes a nervous laugh. “She couldn’t have a problem with that anyway. I also, um, like boys, and she’s never said anything about that.”

Calum blinks. “You do?”

Through the water, Calum can see Luke kicking up pebbles. “Yeah,” he says. “I thought I said.”

“You didn’t. Just boys, or…?”

“And girls,” Luke says. “But, um, it’s a bit — it’s not like I’ve ever dated anyone, or kissed anyone, or anything, so, you know, I could be wrong.”

“You’ve never kissed anyone?”

Luke blushes with his whole body, Calum notices, with distant amusement. It creeps up his neck and tints his ears before crossing his cheeks. “Uh, no.”

There’s a beat of silence, and Calum does a quick pro-con analysis, but in the end it’s nothing but hope and recklessness that makes him ask: “Do you want to?”

“Obviously I want to,” Luke says, rolling his eyes.

“No, I mean.” Calum licks his lips, which feel suddenly dry. “Do you want to right now. With me.”

The quiet that follows is the heaviest Calum’s ever been in. It stacks itself onto Calum’s shoulders, daring him to cave, to back down even an inch, but Calum just stands still and watches Luke. If he doesn’t want to, he can always say no. He has to know that Calum will back off if he says no.

Luke swallows hard. “Really?” Calum nods once, holding his breath. There’s another moment of silence while Luke studies his face, and finally he says, “Okay. If you’re sure.”

Calum’s never been more sure of anything in his life. At last the invisible barrier breaks down, and Calum takes the final step to bridge the distance between them. “Stop me if, um, whenever,” he says. Luke nods. Calum settles his hands delicately on Luke’s shoulders — electricity racing up his arms — and Luke moves his hands uncertainly around for a second, so Calum grabs his wrists and settles them on his own waist. “Okay?”

“Sorry,” Luke mutters. Calum shakes his head, a small smile on his face.

“It’s all good,” he says. “Can I…”

Luke nods slowly, so Calum wastes no time. He leans in and Luke meets him in the middle, and for a second everything in the world stops moving, stops existing, except Luke’s mouth on Calum’s, clumsy and unsure but decidedly Luke, who Calum’s wanted to kiss basically since they met.

Not only is it exceptional for a first kiss, it’s exceptional for a kiss at all. Calum quickly wraps his arms around Luke’s neck and Luke’s wind around Calum’s waist, pressed together at almost every point. Despite the chill from the breeze catching on their damp skin, Calum feels like he’s on fire. If this is what it’s like to touch the sun, Calum never wants to stop. He’d burn himself up to kiss Luke forever.

Though Luke had been tentative at first, he surrenders immediately when Calum slides his tongue over Luke’s bottom lip, with a small sigh that makes Calum’s heart skip a beat, or cease altogether. Around them, the current pushes the two of them impossibly closer together; when Luke’s tongue finds its way into Calum’s mouth, Calum fails to suppress a shiver, and immediately Luke breaks away, concerned.

“Are you cold?” he asks breathlessly.

Calum laughs and shakes his head. “Not even a little bit,” he says, and pulls Luke back in.

The feeling of Luke under his fingertips is overwhelming, and Calum is sure that without the kiss grounding him, he’d float away entirely, or disintegrate, or burst into flames. He feels like he’ll do one of those things as it is, or maybe all three. Kissing Luke is also overwhelming, but in a completely different way, because it’s a two-way street. He’s kissing Luke, but Luke is also kissing him.

(Shamelessly, hungrily, lips and teeth and tongue against Calum’s. Calum has a hard time believing that this is Luke’s first kiss. Nobody should be this good on their first try.)

Eventually, and with a gasp, Luke breaks it again. Calum chases his lips for a last kiss, something soft, because as far as he knows he’ll never get to kiss Luke again. It fills him with dread to think it, but this had ostensibly only been a first-kiss offer, and now they’ve checked that box.

(They’ve destroyed the box. The box is in tatters. The box isn’t even recognizably a box anymore.)

Both of them stand there, unmoving as the stream brushes up against their skin, breathing heavily in each other’s space. Calum can’t think of anything at all to say, and Luke says nothing either; for a long time they just stay there, reluctant to separate and equally reluctant to shatter the silence. If they acknowledge it, then they have to move past it. Calum doesn’t want that. He wants to live in this moment for the rest of his life, to always be suspended in the moment just after kissing Luke, when he can still taste him.

Luke opens his mouth finally, and what he says is, “Oh. Um. Thank you.”

Despair floods Calum. “It wasn’t a favor,” he blurts out. Luke frowns in confusion. “I wanted to. I’ve wanted to kiss you for a long time. We don’t have to again if you don’t want to, but you should know.”

Luke exhales. “Oh.” His gaze skids lower, away from Calum’s eyes. Calum becomes hyper-aware of how close they still are. Luke hasn’t made any effort to move away, and Calum certainly doesn’t want to. That has to be a good sign, right? “I — um.” He takes a sharp breath. “My mum…”

Fuck. Luke’s fucking mum. Calum’s never hated anyone more. “So don’t tell her,” Calum says.

Luke looks up at him. “I couldn’t do that to you. I don’t want to be with you like that.”

For a second, Calum’s throat closes up with the bulk of words building up, question marks all trying to force their way between his teeth, tangling up his tongue. “Wh— do you want to be with me at all?”

“Of course I do,” Luke says timidly. “I’m just. I don’t know.” He shakes his head. “It’s kind of scary.”

“Yeah,” Calum says, infusing his voice with as much comfort as he can muster while reeling from the force of Luke’s answer. Of course I do. “Yeah. It’s scary. Sure. Especially if it’s a secret. If it’s too, um, too much — I don’t want to put you in a position —”

“No, no,” Luke says. “I’m saying I want to anyway.” The blush has taken up permanent residence on his face, but somehow Luke’s voice is clear and unflinching. “If it’s okay with you, then it’s okay with me.”

Calum wavers. “Are you sure, Luke? It’s kind of a, you know.”

“I’m sure,” Luke says firmly. His eyes flit around Calum’s face, maybe searching for something. “We should probably, like, get out of the…the water.”

Calum tightens his arms around Luke’s neck, leaning his forehead against Luke’s. His heart is beating irregularly, and it might be from the cold, but it’s probably not. “Or we could not.”

Luke chuckles weakly. “We’ll catch cold or something.”

“It’s December,” Calum says, barely a breath. “Live a little.”

Luke doesn’t answer him, but he surges forward and kisses Calum with none of the reservations he’d had minutes earlier, and if the current washed them both away right now, or sunk them under and mysteriously claimed their lives, Calum knows he’d die happy.

#calum hood #luke hemmings #cake #cake fic #5sos #5sos fic #fic #my fic #i am queueing this lol #so i have no idea when it'll post lmao but i'm queuing (queueing?) it on october 29 at 8:30pm #so. that'll be fun whenever it posts #shal i have to say. GREAT song #the VIBES of this fic. especially with the song on a loop. mmmm #well chosen. VERY well chosen #also shoutout to iba for literally listening to the song with me....like.......just listening with me to just friends on a loop #iba i can't believe you did that you're the best and i would kill for you #i don't know if this shares the vibes of the g&c fic but i hope it satisfies anyway #xoxoxoxo i am breezing through these #i might move it up in the queue so it doesnt go after my currently 32 queued posts #we'll see #who KNOWS what i'll do! not me that's for sure #and now i am going to go make myself some ramen for dinner #bye lol #wheniminouterspace #ask #answered

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rokutouxei · 3 years

Text

the wonder that’s keeping the stars apart

ikemen vampire: temptation through the dark theo van gogh / mc | T | [ ao3 link in bio ]

The challenge seemed pretty simple: to try to befriend the university bookshop’s most sour employee, Theo van Gogh. As a literature major with a boatload of book recommendations on her back, it ought to be a simple task indeed. But as she uncovers what lies between Theo’s pages, the more she finds it harder to become closer to him without having to put the feeling directly into words. What can she learn from Theo about what it means to stay—and how can she teach Theo about what it means to let go? | written for ikevamp big bang 2020!

[ masterpost for all chapters ]

CHAPTER 14 OF 22

... I choked on such longing I couldn’t spit out. Yes, desire is so different when God bore you hungry. I could have devoured anything and still have been starving. In one version of our story the fruit is in your chest. David, I eat it anyway. O, I know nothing but to take & keep taking.

- Belovéd, Yves Olade

Something in their world shifts.

She hadn’t exactly formally talked it out with Vincent, but it’s somehow settled that she would be there for him to talk to whenever he had something about his exhibit that he wanted to discuss. It was different to have someone on “neutral ground”—someone who wasn’t Theo, who wasn’t carrying the weight of having to bear everything else for the exhibit to happen. And Theo doesn’t mind sharing the space with Vincent with her, either. ‘

It starts simple. A little group chat with Theo (although he rarely responds to the messages) and Vincent to toss ideas, throw little inspirational things. On Friday afternoons, when her schedule is a little more open, she sometimes visits the van Gogh house to check on Vincent and what he’s done so far. She helps him with the expressions on his models, gives him insight into what a viewer would think of the painting. Having been born and raised in this place, she gives the best advice on what places would have the best views to paint, where it would be possible to go outside and sketch and draw.

The exhibit slowly comes into shape.

Theo helps Vincent with the technicals: looking for a place to set it up, preparing the documents for the panel, buying the art materials, providing some comments for half-finished works. She helps Vincent with the storyline: drawing out his story of the little boy with paint seeping out of her hands, leaving a trail of art wherever he goes. How the world changes with every bit of it he touches.

But most importantly, they make sure they are there for Vincent, constantly nudging him in the direction he wants to go but is sometimes too hesitant to.

The final exams roll in with the same kind of raucousness as the midterms did, but there is a quiet kind of understanding between her and Theo that is different from the last time. The gang—she, Theo, Arthur, and Dazai—gathers to study together that pre-finals week, but it’s as if it’s only her and Theo around.

She peers up from what she’s writing on her notebook and when she finds Theo staring, she smiles up at him and he turns away with a grumble at being caught even if he knew he would. When he has his glasses on and is busy reviewing something on his computer, his eyes running left and right over pages of notes, she observes the way the feeble sun shines weak gold over his deep honey-colored hair, soft and likely gentle to the touch—and he lets her.

Arthur, of course, has something he wants to say, but this time he’s smart enough to hold it in, Dazai nudging him gently with his elbow, knowing it would be the worst shame to interrupt the little world she and Theo are in.

It is only once final exams have finished that the preparation for the exhibit rolls into full force for the brothers. Both Theo’s hours at the bookshop and Vincent’s hours at the café lessens as the university rolls into holiday mode, and now more than ever is Vincent working non-stop at his paintings, like they’re burning to get out of him.

Vincent now has time to get out his art.

And Theo—Theo has time to dream about the future.

And dreaming about the future.

Just in time for Christmas.

“Hey Arthur, what should I get Theo?”

She and Arthur are sitting at the Little Owl, waiting for Dazai to arrive. The two lovebirds were having their Christmas date early, because this year, Arthur is coming home to his family, likely to mooch for money. She intended to say no at first—after all, this is their date, regardless of whatever label they had for whatever was going on between the two of them—but upon the realization that Dazai was not only picky with food (and also had great taste) but also footing the bill, ‘yes’ was the only possible option.

Besides, Arthur wasn’t taking no for an answer, and she had to wrestle herself out of his original condition that she could only come if she was bringing Theo along, like a double date.

Arthur looks up from the little crossword puzzle he was solving on the café’s shared newspaper. “A kiss,” he answers without missing a beat. “Twenty, maybe. That might soften him.”

“Arthur.”

“Oh, he uses that exact tone on me too, little miss. Very uncanny.”

“I’m not giving him a kiss,” she sighs, turning her head back to her notebook, with the scribbled list of people and items next to their names. “You’re the worst person to ask.”

Arthur puts on a faux-offended face. “I’m only telling you what he’d appreciate the most.”

“Okay, smarty,” she rolls her eyes. “I’m just trying to get everyone Christmas presents.”

“You’re getting him something for Christmas?” Arthur’s eyes are wide in genuine surprise.

“I’m getting you something too!”

He hums. “Is that so. Entirely normal, platonic gifts.”

“Arthur!” she pouts. “I swear, there’s no bigger meaning to it. I like giving gifts for Christmas. It’s kind of routine at this point.”

“So you’re getting Vincent a gift too.”

“Of course.”

“And I, Dazai, and Isaac.”

She crosses her arms over her chest. “What, I have to give you a full list of who I’m giving gifts to for Christmas?”

“Yes,” Arthur says, tapping her nose with a pen. She scrunches up her nose in response. “Checking for fairness.”

“Fairness?!” she looks at him pointedly. “Look, you’re just fishing for clues that I’ll get Theo something—” she raises her fingers to make air quotes, “—‘more meaningful’ and ‘more valuable’ than the rest of you guys as a clue to whatever the hell your theory is.”

“It’s not a theory, little bird, it’s an observation,” Arthur says, with a laugh. “The fact that you still refuse to say what my theory is out loud is really telling, you know?”

“No, it’s because it’s not true.”

“What is not true?”

“Your theory.”

“Which is?”

Which is that I’ve entirely fallen in love with Theo and I don’t want to admit it because I’m afraid of what happens after that and if I own up to it. It’s not true at all. Not even the littlest bit.

Why would she be afraid of something she loves?

Not her, no. She’s the kind of person who runs toward what she wants.

This doesn’t make any sense.

She sighs. “Why did I even ask you. This is pointless. I’ll ask Vincent instead.”

“Oh, but he wouldn’t know what our dearest Theo would want,” Arthur hums. “He’s hard to give gifts to.”

“Wait, ‘our’?” she begins to argue, but then shakes her head. “Never mind. How are you claiming more knowledge than Vincent? Theo hates your guts.”

“Because he knows I know him.”

“That means he hates my guts too.”

“He does.”

She sighs. There’s not much point arguing with Arthur oftentimes—the best way is to surrender and then just try and figure out a way out of the mess one had walked into afterward. “Okay, fine. What is it that he’d appreciate getting for Christmas?”

Arthur grins. “You owe me one?”

She groans. She knows she will regret this deeply like she did the last time, but—“I do! Now ‘fess up!”

The holiday season in their university town is quiet. Much quieter, at least, than on regular school season. Most of the students go back to their hometowns after the exams, and the streets get quieter and quieter the closer it is to Christmas. Stores that used to be open most of the day open later and close earlier; cafés and libraries and emptier; the streets are less crowded. The hustle and bustle become muted and more peaceful.

Theo likes being on campus around this time of year because it’s different from the usual. Before Theo attended the university, when Vincent was the only one out here, his brother used to come home for the holidays. But ever since Theo came here, and the entire incident with Vincent’s graduation and his project came into light, they hadn’t gone home—mostly to save the money, but also because it doesn’t… feel right to go home back yet.

That’s alright. It’s not as if it’s lonely out here in late December.

Not all students go home. Arthur goes home—he says it’s for a sweetheart who has “long been missing him”, but they all know better. Dazai and Isaac stay a little longer than the other students do, but they go home as well. But Vincent and Theo stay.

And so does she.

It’s a beautiful city to spend the winter in, after all.

Like most places, there’s a little holiday culture of its own in the town as well. A student representative council gathers early in December to arrange a gigantic potluck-slash-party at around noon on the 24th, where students who have stayed get to hang out with everyone else who is still there to share some Christmas cheer. The event is usually held at the Grove, which means there’s also space to ice skate. Some vendors are invited to sell their wares of Christmas food as well—and of course, alcohol is included. Speakers are installed and Christmas music, both lively and more romantic, play throughout the course of the party. Those who sign in earlier get to join in an exchange gift affair at the latter part of it too. There’s also a raffle for little gifts and prizes. And of course, there’s the snowball fight. It’s a small, homey event, and many students actually decide to stay on campus for this particular party.

Every year, Theo is pretty neutral about the potluck.

Every year, Vincent wants to go. So Theo always comes with him.

And this year… Vincent is inviting her too.

He considers getting her a pack of highlighters.

He doesn’t know much about the world of stationery and fancy studying materials, but there’s a certain brand of fancy highlighters he sees a lot around campus. They’re not the easiest brand to get, according to his research, but if he orders it soon it might just make it on time.

Or maybe a fountain pen?

Fountain pens are classy. And thoughts have been given on them, so he knows it’s not a bad shot. He isn’t quite sure what kind, though, what brand, and maybe he could get one that’s the exact same model and brand as his, but isn’t that a little too obvious? He doesn’t want to be too obvious. He doesn’t want it to be obvious at all, or even known.

A book, perhaps, might be the best option, then.

Books have been an integral part of their… relationship, anyway. No other meaning to that. If there is anything to be read about that, then that’s not on him, is it? That makes this entire process simpler. He’ll just need to drop by the bookstore, check the stocks, pick up the most mundane and boring poetry book—the lamest, the worst, why would he give something meaningful—and then get a gift bag, maybe some wrapping paper—

Theo is so deep in his thoughts he doesn’t catch Vincent entering the room, even as the door behind his older brother closes with a click. The look on Theo’s face—furrowed brows, tense shoulders, the light in his eyes—makes Vincent smile just the tiniest bit.

The sound of his voice shakes Theo out of his reverie.

“Have you chosen what to get her?” Vincent asks, providing no context. He doesn’t need to. He knows his brother well, and he even turns away from Theo to lessen the blow, pretending to look for something in his bedside drawer.

“I’m not getting her anything,” Theo scoffs weakly, his frown deepening as the tips of his ears turn bright red.

Sometime around noon of the 24th, the three of them meet at the plaza to join the potluck. The brothers bring cupcakes—“I didn’t know you baked, Vincent!” “It wasn’t me, it was Theo.” “Oh?”—and she brings some spaghetti, and the rest of the table is overflowing with food to eat. Everyone is dressed in shades of gold, red, green, and white. Music plays through the speakers attached to the streetlights.

Her face kind of hurts with how big she’s smiling.

She doesn’t hate life on the campus, no, but it’s become monotone, a little too uninteresting that leaves her on edge. It’s exactly why she was so eager to get on with Arthur’s dare and get to know Theo in the first place—she had that sense that maybe it would bring her somewhere new, somewhere fascinating. The only exception to the otherwise boring campus life is on big events like this holiday party, and the feeling is something she can’t get enough of.

The party goes just about as one would expect—her, pulling Vincent around by the elbow getting him to try all the different kinds of food laid out (“No, no, I couldn’t possibly eat anymore—” “Just one more bite! Just one!”); her, pulling Theo by the wrist to join her and Vincent in ice-skating (“I’m not interested.” “You have no say in the matter!”); and then, of course, Theo, pelting her right in the face with a snowball (the most annoyed pout she can muster, together with “Oh you want war, then you’re getting it!”)

It is already four in the afternoon when the three of them make it out of the hubbub. Theo is walking with his hands in his pockets, humming along to one of the Christmas songs now aggressively stuck in his head after having heard it at least 60 times in the past four hours. She teases him about it and he frowns about it, but he’s still humming.

“I ate too much!” she whines, clutching her stomach pitifully as they walked. “Absolutely no regrets though. I love Christmas potluck, but this year was just crazy.”

Vincent laughs. “You really shouldn’t have gotten that last pretzel,” he chides.

“But it was so good! I don’t know where they sourced that cinnamon, but it made me cry.”

Theo snorts. “You cried?”

“I did, I don’t understand how one wouldn’t,” she sighs. “Theo, you were just too into your chocolate-topped-with-caramel-topped-with-strawberries-topped-with—” she takes a breath, “—diabetes cake thing. Why was that even allowed to exist.”

“You just have no taste,” Theo says, but it has no venom in it.

She grins. “Neither do you.”

“That makes us even.”

She should be going home by now—the sun will be setting soon, and she’d rather not be walking home in the dark in the snow—but her little apartment building is rather empty for the holidays, and it can get quite lonely when the rest of the campus is still celebrating. It’s a good thing she doesn’t need to tell the brothers for them to understand, and they let her walk with them all the way back to their little house, the one she’s been in so often in the past few months, it kind of feels like a second home too.

“Hot chocolates?” Vincent asks once they’ve made it through the threshold with matched sighs, hanging his coat by the rack. She whoops and cheers.

“Yes please!” she says, “I’ll choose a movie!”

Christmas has never really been a special holiday to her in the past. Sure, it’s enjoyable, and involves a lot of food and gifts, the questionable-if-enjoyable company of a lot of family members, sometimes even distantly extended ones, and most of the sense of the holiday is about its commercialized form instead of the actual religious holiday, giving it an alienating feeling, but—

This year it’s a little different.

Feels a little different.

Not quite like the usual.

Not when she’s snuggled under a blanket, Theo in between her and Vincent, a mug of hot chocolate in her hands, Klaus on the TV. Not when it’s been a long semester of burning the midnight oil studying and working so hard, and then suddenly it feels like it’s okay to rest.

Rest in this place that lets her curl up warmly in its softness.

And sure, maybe some things feel the same, familiar, like Theo’s nose, scrunched up because he’s taking the movie a little too seriously, or Vincent’s sunny smile, or Arthur’s text message in her phone of [ no mistletoe? 🎄 ]—but it’s different.

The longing tearing at her heart, she begins to be sure that she’ll miss this.

It’s not home but she’s sure if one day she will ever find it, it will probably feel like this.

They sit around the living room talking to each other even after the movie ends, and by the time it truly feels like the day has settled down around them, the sun is long out of the sky. Slowly, the sinking feeling that she had overstayed her welcome begins to crawl over her, once Vincent brings their now-empty mugs onto the kitchen sink. She straightens up at her seat, nervously fidgeting next to the mountain of blankets separating her and Theo on the couch.

And then suddenly, she remembers.

“Oh, but before the night ends—”

She digs into her bag and pulls out a small gift, wrapped with a yellow ribbon. Vincent returns to the living area just at the right moment, so she hands the present to Vincent. “Merry Christmas, Vincent! It’s not much, but I hope it proves helpful for your current project.”

He doesn’t know it yet, but it’s a box of fresh paints, the brand he uses. Not in as wide an array of colors of what he does have, but still a good number. She made sure to check which ones he used the most.

“You didn’t have to!” he says, summer sun in his smile. “Thank you so much!”

“You’re welcome, Vincent, of course,” she says. And then, she pulls out another thing—turning towards Theo as she hands him a box, neatly held together with starry wrapping paper and a sheer white ribbon. “Merry Christmas, Theo. Thanks for everything this year.”

Vincent chuckles at the look of surprise on Theo’s face. Theo looks back at his brother, betrayed.

But he doesn’t have much time for that, because the gift is hovering in between him and her awkwardly. He takes it and mumbles a soft, “Um, thanks.”

She blinks. “Do you not want it?”

“I just wasn’t expecting it.”

“Surprises are good this time of year,” she says. Grins when she catches the tips of Theo’s ears already pink. Vincent spots it too and laughs, as he reaches out from underneath their little Christmas tree to hand them some gifts as well.

By the heft of it, she guesses what’s inside her wrapped present is a small painting; she beams at Vincent and throws him an embrace in thanks. Vincent gifts Theo a gray sweater with a reindeer on it, the kind of gift one would receive from their grandmother instead of their brother, but Theo quickly puts it over his shirt excitedly anyway.

She wonders why Theo hasn’t opened her gift to him yet.

Vincent manages to say up to half of “And what about you, Theo?” when Theo quickly gets up on his feet, saying, “I should walk you home,” pointing at the clock on the wall. Solidly eight at night. Not that late, really, but—there’s no good overstaying. Her heart drops a little but she nods anyway.

“Yeah, I should,” she agrees. “Thank you for today, Vincent.”

He beams. “Of course. Come join us anytime.”

Theo holds the gift box she had given him under his arm and turns to her. “Ready in 5?”

“Yup, I just need to go to the restroom,” she says. “I’ll be back.”

She clears her head quickly in the bathroom. She doesn’t know when she started to get so riled up whenever Theo walked her home—late evenings at the van Goghs on Fridays spent talking about the exhibit has made it a common affair—but tonight, her heart is hammering in her chest somehow. It’s been a normal day. Nothing’s different, she convinces herself, so there’s no need for all these theatrics and heart acrobatics.

When she gets out to the foyer, she catches Theo leaning against the wall, his hands in the pockets of his coat, and—

The deep blue scarf around his neck.

The one she chose for him.

Arthur said the best gift to give Theo is one he will be able to use, but—

She hadn’t imagined seeing it in use would leave her dry of words, too.

“Let’s go?”

She pretends the flush in her face is due to the sudden cold. “Yeah, let’s go.”

The walk home isn’t entirely quiet. She checks her phone and shows him the photos of Christmas eve the rest of their friends have sent them, in the group chat Theo never checks because he’s just not that kind of guy. Then they talk about the party, her profusely accusing Theo of attempted murder for having hit her right on target at the face pretty hard with that snowball. And then, they turn toward talking about the exhibit, and Vincent, and the upcoming year and—

Talk like this, about the little things, like they usually do.

The comforting usuals of their friendship.

Nothing different. Nothing new.

Just the usual.

Finally, after 20 minutes she wanted to last forever, they make it to her apartment complex. They bid goodbye at the entrance. She’s just about turned around to leave when she feels the warmth of his fingers around her wrist, pulling her back.

“Theo?” “Hondje," they call to each other at the same time.

He hands a small, wrapped box he’s kept underneath his coat towards her.

“For you.”

She blinks. Oh, if Arthur could have seen their mirrored expressions from their exchange of gifts, he would have laughed so loudly. “What is this?”

He narrows her eyes at her, as if she said something stupid. “A gift.”

“I mean—” she begins, but then just chuckles. “I mean thanks. This means a lot.”

“Don’t think about it too hard. Rest well,” he says, the following syllables of her name just light on his lips. The sound of it makes her nerves flutter. She holds onto the gift box in her hand tightly instead, as if making sure it’s there. That this is real. Theo gives her a look like she’s transparent. “You’re always welcome at the house. No matter how long you stay. Merry Christmas.”

A smile creeps up on her face uncontrollably. “Merry Christmas too, Theo.”

She waves goodbye to him and watches him disappear off the corner before she runs upstairs to go to her room—to shut the door behind her and take a deep breath. She shrugs her coat off, tucks the mittens inside the pockets.

Puts the little box she’d been holding so carefully, still warm from Theo’s coat, along with her little wrapped painting from Vincent, underneath the small makeshift Christmas tree sitting on her kitchen counter.

Earlier that day, Theo had slipped a note in between the pages of a poetry book—on an old receipt he’d scribbled on at the back, which said: thanks for helping my brother out. thought our little miss ‘love is the answer to all of the world’s problems’ would enjoy a bit of e.e. cummings.

And tomorrow, first thing on Christmas morning, sipping on hot chocolate with sugar marshmallows on top, she will open the box and find the note and grin widely. And, in a reversal of her usual, she will make herself comfortable on the couch, overlooking the window, the falling snow, and read the book slowly, investing her heart in each syllable. Listening to every sound in her head. Carrying each word gently, taking her time.

Dipping her feet lightly into the book. Relishing in the curve of the words on her lips as she reads—words Theo chose and wrapped into a gift, then given to her.

#the wonder that’s keeping the stars apart #ikemen vampire #ikevamp theo

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colony22graphics · 3 years

Photo

Welcome to Colony 22′s Holiday AU Bingo Challenge!

Since the last AU Bingo board was such a hit, we decided now would be the perfect time for volume 2—holiday style! It’s our hope that this little (totally optional) game will help give you fun bursts of muse during a quieter season on the dash, and lots of engaging things to explore, whether you’re interested in canon self-paras or headcanons, non-canon AU threads, or playful graphics, for yourself or for others!

Of course as it is not actually December in the RP verse, the ‘holiday’ theme is mostly for us muns, but is also intentionally vague—you may explore any holiday, family gathering, religious or non-religious tradition that strikes your fancy or that inspires you based on the tiles above! (i.e. in the RP verse, it’s actually around Passover time, so you may prefer to explore something along those themes, or any other holiday your character(s) would have participated in—or even decidedly not participated in). I also know snow and winter and some of the traditions references don’t apply to everyone for the December holidays, but feel free to get creative and explore them in whatever way you like!

How it Works

Each square on the board has a theme that you can incorporate into any kind of creative work you wish! The WHITE tiles (trope themes) are specifically AU, and are intended for any written or other creative works that involve other characters from the RP but are intentionally an Alternate Universe and therefore non-canon. (Of course, mentions/inclusions of characters other than your own in self-paras etc will require the consent of other muns!) The BLUE tiles, however, are WORD PROMPTS and can also be used to explore canon things, including flashbacks/self-paras, moodboards, headcanons, etc. (If you choose to do any of these blue tile word prompts as AUs instead, then be sure it’s clearly labelled as such!)

Additionally, for the AU Themes, if you are interested in writing threads with other players, you are certainly welcome to do them as paras (might be a great opportunity if you need to up your para counts) but you are also welcome to explore chat threads—and here’s a fun kicker: if you wish, you may choose alternate faceclaims for the threads, if the AU involves any age changes (your character as a kid or teenager, or perhaps your character older and married or so on and so forth!) But of course, this is totally optional!

Non-Written Creations

As all media rules still apply, the following submissions should be submitted to the Graphics Blog:

gif sets

graphics

visual artwork (i.e. sketches, drawings, paintings etc etc)

video edits

playlists (with cover art)

[ As always, you will be properly credited for all your work, and you are always welcome to add your own credit text in the description of your submission and format it any way you like! ]

[ submit here ]

Written Work

Written work (self-paras, para or chat threads, poetry, miscellaneous ~experimental~ wordy things) can be posted on your own character account as long as it is clearly marked in the title to indicate that it’s an AU bingo activity or canon flashback/word prompt/headcanon etc and everything should be tagged with #col22bingo, so that the mods can easily locate it and there is no confusion. Feel free also to track the tag!

Please also note in the TITLE (and separately in tags if you wish) which square the submission/creation is for. Some of them are going to be super obvious, but some may not be, and it’ll make things a lot easier for the mods to track if you title and tag them appropriately!

Some Theme Examples

As you can see, most of the categories are pretty self explanatory, but we thought a couple of them would benefit from a bit of clarification, so:

National Lampoon AU: Inspired by the classic Christmas film “National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation” this tile is basically looking for anything involving family gatherings and the chaos/absurdity/disaster that often comes with it. First holiday shared with the crazy in-laws? Family members or exes who absolutely can’t be in the same room but are in the same room? Over crowded homes with cousins and uncles sleeping on couches and air-mattresses? Disastrous cooking or decorating or gathering fiascos? Basically, you name it, and we’ll be here for it—with popcorn.

Home Alone AU: A Macaulay Culkin style adventure—feel free to explore the ‘getting left behind at the airport’ element, the ‘going ham on home intruders’ element, any creative variation of such scenarios, or all of the above! This might be an example of one that works well as a crossover idea!

Holiday “Spirits” AU: Get into the Holiday Spirit by breaking out those Holiday Spirits!! As in, any scenario involving getting tipsy (or downright sloshed) on eggnog or liqueur or wine (the list goes on and on.) This doesn’t have to be your character, of course, it can be any combination of scenarios, just something about celebratory drinks (or lack there of!) Reminder to please tag any triggers where it might be appropriate!

Pantomime AU: A very British Christmas tradition of comedic, fantastical stage performances often based on well known children’s stories, with encouraged (and silly) interactions from the audience. If you’re not British, but you’ve ever been to a Rocky Horror performance, it might be a little bit like that. Read about this fabulous and fun tradition here.

"The tree” AU: This one is a bit more Christmas specific, but any scenario involving getting a tree—whether it be buying a real one from a market, fetching one from the woods and bringing it home, putting up a fake one, decorating, arguing... and of course, if you’re looking for chaos, any fiascos that may come with any of these scenarios!

Closing Details

Just like last time, this is purely for fun and there is zero pressure to participate if it doesn’t tickle your fancy, but if you do want to, you can track your progress on the board located on the graphics blog here. (We will update as frequently as we can, but it may take up to a day or two for your results to appear!)

During the course of this challenge, we will post updates whenever someone achieves a line, (or if by some miracle, someone goes for a blackout!) There are no prizes, but there are definitely bragging rights. For the time being, the end date of this challenge is TBD, but it will likely last through January. It doesn’t feel particularly necessary to close these things super quickly, but we may at some point stop tracking the results, and we’ll let you know when that happens!

As always, if you have any questions at all about the game, submission types or any of the AU themes or prompts, please hit us up on the main blog ask and we’ll be glad to help! We will tag all posts and answers regarding this challenge with col22bingo so you can easily find it in the tags or on the main blog!

And finally, to every member of this little star RP fam, new and old and everything in between, thank you for an amazing year. Though 2020 was rough on all accounts and for everyone, this community and you fabulous people helped to provide an oasis of safety and imagination to escape to when things on the outside got bad. I know I speak for just about every last one of us when I say I seriously don’t know where I would have been all year without you guys. All the mods and I are so, so grateful for your continued, absolutely staggering loyalty and commitment. So here’s to another incredible year at Colony 22! Let’s finish off our 7th year right!

Lots of love, and have fun!!

Col22!Mods

#col22bingo #literate rp #original rp #mature rp #bio rp

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pittarchives · 3 years

Text

Analogizing with Garner the Rabbit

This post was written by YuHao Chen, graduate student in ethnomusicology, University of Pittsburgh.

Let’s take for example a drawing in jazz pianist Erroll Garner’s letter to his manager Martha Glaser in Spring 1967, where he asks for her forgiveness, after having walked out with the money that he should have left at the office. In a way, analogy creates an illusion of intimacy by casting two separate things within one thought.

Image from Folder “Correspondence between Erroll Garner and Martha Glaser,” Erroll Garner Archive, 1942-2010, Box 3, Folder 5, Archives & Special Collections, University of Pittsburgh Library System.

Here, Garner and Glaser (referred to as “me” and “you,” respectively) are brought to proximity through their correlation with two hand-drawn characters: a rabbit with exaggerated whiskers and a stern human face looking away from the furry creature. We may be at a loss as to how or why Garner and Glaser might impressionistically resemble a fluff ball and a formidable face, but there must be some overriding logic—to Garner, at least—that somehow stabilized the two sets of characters. Garner is to Glaser as the rabbit is to the female portrait. Through symbolic consistency, Garner and Glaser are united as cartoon figures that appear in the top margins of his apology letter.

Garner the Rabbit reappears in a follow-up note—though without the company of Glaser’s cartooned face—where Garner apologizes again for his forgetfulness. In a different letter from 1967, he represented himself as yet another non-human creature, this time a cat. With a characteristic “me-wow,” the feline sits at the bottom of the letter and wishes a speedy recovery to Glaser, who appeared to be sick.

Image from folder “Correspondence between Erroll Garner and Martha Glaser,” Erroll Garner Archive, 1942-2010, Box 3, Folder 5, Archives & Special Collections, University of Pittsburgh Library System.

It is apparent that Glaser had received and read these letters. Scrupulous manager that she was, Glaser dated these letters in her flowing handwriting. But other than the fact that she had cared enough to keep them, we have no information as to how she might have reacted to Garner’s curious drawings. Her lack of reciprocity in the archive piques our interest: Did she approve of his analogy? Was she really the austere figure that made an expressionless face when Garner forgot to leave the money? Did she turn away, like the conspicuously dispassionate figure did, after seeing these sketches?

What appears to be a simple invocation of Garner and Glaser is more complex than it first seems. According to Alexander Galloway, the word “analogy” is derived from the prefix ana- (“at the rate of,” “by reason of,” or “in proportion to”) and the Greek word logos (“ratio,” “rationality,” “word”). Analogos means “in proportion with another ratio.” For Galloway, analogy is about creating an equation of comparable qualities, approximating the magnitude of one relationship to that of another. Seen in this light, analogy conjures two relationships and the things that constitute them. If it takes a party of two at the minimum to make up a relationship, then analogy necessarily invokes at least four entities by virtue of the two relationships it sets up. Garner’s analogy, for example, calls forth the musician–manager dyad, the animal–human counterpart, and the two sets of dynamics they represent. Analogy entails matchmaking, an operation that connects distant individuals to form sympathetic relationships.

It wouldn’t be too far-off, I think, to consider analogizing a deeply intimate gesture—an expression of voraciousness, even—for analogy devours a cornucopia of things and produces new relationships. Vilém Flusser wrote in Gestures, the moment of love is exactly the “complete absorption in the other without loss of the self;” it is the moment of “the tipping over into another, which makes ‘I’ and ‘you’ into ‘we’ […]” (51). Might analogy be similar to the way love creates bonds out of isolated conditions? Akin to Flusser’s definition of love, analogy integrates: it binds thoughts, transcends gaps, and redefines differences. Analogy performs promiscuous magic on lonely signs like “you,” “me,” rabbit, cat, and face, turning them into partners. Its capacity to conjoin different points of references into a network of meanings is what makes analogy such a potent tool to think with—and to inflict desire with.

Garner’s sketches were but the tip of the iceberg of how analogy operated for him and how we might come to understand the complex relationship between Garner and Glaser. In their correspondence, we see Garner recurrently employing analogy to frame his relation to Glaser, sometimes via seemingly innocuous cartoon drawings, other times involving the use of dissipated visual cues that transgress professional boundaries. The latter is seen, for instance, in a postcard depicting a rooster chasing after a hen in front of an old maid’s home, or in another where a newborn baby lasciviously attempts to grab a sexually depicted nurse, or in one showing a husband in a bedroom with his newlywed wife yelling at him for his female-figure tattoo.

Image from folder “Correspondence between Erroll Garner and Martha Glaser,” Erroll Garner Archive, 1942-2010, Box 3, Folder 4, Archives & Special Collections, University of Pittsburgh Library System.

Garner wrote down commentaries to these images on the back of the postcards. On the “old maid” and rooster: “Are you glad you got me so you don’t have to be that way.” On the baby and the nurse: “Ours won’t be like that / he be cool / Ha Ha Ha.” On the tattooed husband: “I’ll have all mine taken off for you so there will be me and you and no one.” These postures indicate that at some point in time Garner had envisioned his relationship with Glaser through sexual analogies. These articulations expose the sharp edge of analogy, while also raising slippery questions about the nature of the relationship between Garner and Glaser.

What do these insinuations tell us? In the Erroll Garner Archive, there are very few materials surrounding the full nature of the types of relationships that may have existed between Garner and Glaser, which also may have changed at various points in time. Glaser, for one, did not leave any immediately traceable responses. Additionally, there was no postage stamped on these cards, which suggests that they might have been delivered personally or not been delivered at all. In lieu of a hard-and-fast conclusion, these messages require further contextualization before they can be understood in relation to the known history of Erroll Garner.

Given all the messiness that analogy seems to cause, it would have been more prudent, perhaps, to enact ways of visualizing a relationship through different means. But what if that relationship is inherently romantic? Would it be possible to articulate such a relationship in an un-analogized form? There is a fine line between analogy and love. What is love without a party of two, without phrases like “ma cherie,” “the very air I breathe,” “sweetheart,” “fly to me,” and “sweet rapture”? Love comes with a proportionate ratio and a trapping of significance. There is no love without analogy.

Works Cited

Alexander Galloway, “What Is the Analog,” last modified December 29, 2017 http://cultureandcommunication.org/galloway/what-is-the-analog

Erroll Garner Archive, 1942-2010, AIS.2015.09, Archives & Special Collections, University of Pittsburgh Library System.

Vilém Flusser, Gestures, trans. Nancy Ann Roth (Minneapolis: University of Minnesota Press, 2014), 51.

#erroll garner tuesdays #sketches #correspondence #analogy #erroll garner #martha glaser

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kristallioness · 3 years

Photo

2016 | 2017 | 2018 | 2019

*arrives a month late*... Happy 2021 to all of you, my dear followers! *raises a glass* It seems that my tendency to finish my artwork or personal posts on time has only gotten worse over time (I blame work *lol*). Oh well, better late than never, since there are things I would still like to take with me from this extraordinary year of 2020.

It is cringeworthy that I have two huge red X-s this year. But after I'd put these puzzle pieces together, I remembered far too well what was going on in my (work) life at the time, so it's completely understandable why I didn't have the time nor the energy to draw at all during those two months.

What were those typical statistics that I wrote about again to compare the years? *goes to read last year's post*.. Oh, right! In 2020, I managed to finish 3 full digital drawings (from the months of April, July and December) as well as work on several sketches. I wrote 28,154 words worth of fanfiction (oohh, that's a lot better than previous year), plus 3,126 words in English (I dare say I wrote an equal amount in Estonian) for the prompts I got during UYLD (making the total 31,280 words, which is quite impressive!).

I finished reading the 1st Kyoshi novel in the evening of the 20th and slightly past midnight on the 21st December (barely before the holidays, but I set this goal for myself and I did it!). Am already looking forward to starting with the 2nd part some time this year. Besides that, I ordered and received all the other new Avatar books that came out (3rd part of "Ruins of the Empire", "Katara and the Pirate's Silver", "Legacy of the Fire Nation") as well as BOTH Avatar series DVD sets (I still can't believe I found these on sale on some random online store in Estonia, but these are now among my most prized possessions!).

I finally started my Avatar rewatch last January, but merely got to the Ba Sing Se episodes in Book 2 (I need to continue with "The Earth King") and now it's been 5 YEARS since I last saw Korra. Reading through my journal personal posts from last year, I know far too well that it's not about rushing through it as fast as possible. Instead, I should enjoy the ride and continue watching the episodes when I'm well rested and in the right mood. That way I'll end up feeling much more at peace.

As for the entire year as a whole? I don't think anyone in this world of ours was prepared for the way this decade would begin - with an uncontrollable pandemic, the virus of which is randomly attacking and threatening to wipe out the weakest amongst us. If any of you (or even if you know someone who) have lost a loved one to this plague, there is not much else I can offer but my sincerest condolences! Me, my family, friends and colleagues seem to have managed to avoid catching it so far. *spits 3 x over her shoulder*

I had such high hopes for this year in so many ways. Event-wise I was looking forward to watching the Eurovision Song Contest in May (where Uku Suviste was supposed to represent Estonia for the 1st time ever after so many unfortunate failures to get selected as the winner of our local competition), the European Football Championships in June (asking my colleagues which countries they support, perhaps make fun bets / guesses with them to see whose team would win the matches), the Tokyo Olympic Games in July-August, the President of Estonia (Mrs. Kersti Kaljulaid) coming to visit my hometown to celebrate our Victory Day by taking part in the parade together with the Defence Forces (after 15 years *sigh*)...

I will always remember my last big event, which took place when life used to be "normal", so to say. It was the 102nd anniversary of Estonia on the 24th of February, when I took part of all the most important celebrations in Tallinn on our Independence Day, FULL-TIME (whenever I scroll through my Facebook timeline, I see the photos I uploaded of that day, my heart melts and I smile fondly). But the day after that.. utter hell broke loose. We had our first infected person in the country.

I will also remember the last day I went to work in "normal" conditions. Friday, the 13th of March (typically my lucky day-number combination): I missed the tram I wanted to get on in the morning, at work my team received great news that one of our colleague's family had grown bigger by a new tiny member the day before, we had our last team lunch together, we discussed the safety measures that we should take and joked about what might happen next week, I took the bus home instead of the tram (as the tram's route came from the airport and that place was considered to be more dangerous and with a higher risk of catching this virus).. It was another 2.5 weeks later by then (since the 25th of February) - Estonia (along with the rest of Europe) went into full lockdown.

The beginning was frightening and people were on edge, nobody really knew what to do nor what was gonna happen next. But in time, things began to shake into place and everybody developed a comfortable routine for remote work, including figuring out how to get everyday things done (such as grocery shopping). I found solace in taking photographs of various beautiful bird species, who began to fly around and serenaded me during spring, visiting the trees around my "nest" i.e. rented apartment (with a pair of them ACTUALLY building a nest in the chestnut tree right beside my window, thus turning me into a protective godmother of their chicks).

To be honest, I was awestruck by the positive / surprising aftermath of this lockdown: how the world / environment began to heal itself from the pollution that was normally caused by humans. I was taken aback by how dead silent our usually loud capital became in my neighbourhood (I could only hear trams passing by my house according to their schedules, practically no cars whatsoever, streets were empty of people.. absolute silence).

By May-June, things started to look up in Estonia (as well as the rest of Europe) and people were allowed to start travelling / moving around more freely. During my vacation in July, I managed to go to my last (open air) event (for the rest of the year) under these new "corona" conditions and ended up having a blast at the Open Farm Days in my home county for the first time.

Our country's shining moment came during the first week of September, when we hosted the first ever Rally Estonia of the World Rally Championship (WRC), where our very own Ott Tänak and Martin Järveoja won. The event was so well organized and successful that nobody caught the virus nor did the spectators / participants spread it to others, which surely must've helped in ensuring us a spot in the WRC calendar for 2021 as well.

The remainder of the year was rather dull, with the exception of the US Presidential elections in November, when we were all holding our breaths that Joe Biden would win (congratulations, my American friends!). This eventually led to the painful downfall of THE WORST government the Republic of Estonia has ever had, and to the rise of our first female Prime Minister, Kaja Kallas (both happening in January 2021, I couldn't believe it all spiralled so soon, ha-ha!).

Anyways, during the last 4 months, work was very stressful and driving me nuts, so badly that when I eventually went on vacation before Christmas, I had a slight anxiety disorder that wouldn't let me relax for several days (luckily it went away just as quickly once I began to take it easy and managed to get some proper rest / sleep).

In hindsight, I kind of get this weird feeling as if I saw this whole thing coming, given how actively I was living my life throughout 2019. My final year of the 2010's was so full of important events and personal achievements. It's almost as if something mysterious inside was driving me, telling me to visit all the places and do all the things I wanted to do, cause I wouldn't have this sort of a chance again for a very long time.

This must be the main reason why I am thankful for 2020 for going the way it did. Sure, I'm disappointed that a lot of events were cancelled, that so many people have had to leave this world so soon due to this unpredictable disease.. But I think there are so many lessons to take from what came out of all of this. I believe the world needed some sort of a restart or break, given in what direction we were headed (politically, economically, environmentally, socially etc.). I'm just sorry it's had to come with such a high price of innocent lives.

I have even higher hopes for 2021, given how amazingly January has already passed for me and my country, and what is to come in my hometown in February. Let's take the lessons learned from 2020 with us and keep on heading back towards the "normal" lifestyle we used to know. Except this time, let's improve our ways, put all the hatred behind us, be more considerate, keep a distance, stay safe, but still try to make the world a better place for everyone. Thank you so much for reading, for remaining by my side, and for your support and love throughout the years, my friends! I hope to see you all alive and healthy at the end of the white metal ox year of 2021! *virtual hugs*

#personal #shards of Kristal

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baby-prince-oppa · 4 years

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AU Where Daniel Dies and Sean Survives

Because apparently I love to kick myself in the feels. Based on this post by @grantyort . This was also initially created by someone else from a LIS2 Discord server back in December, but they haven’t posted it on Tumblr or anywhere else outside of that. Thought I could share it here and maybe put my own little spin on it. Not meant to be a full-fledged fic just a headcanon drabble.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

So there it is. End of the road. They managed to achieve the impossible and forced past the border patrol and into Mexico. But there was no celebration. Instead, it was the complete opposite of victory. Sean had feared this might happen but he didn’t think it would really happen. It still came as an immense shock to him. Here he was, his little brother in his arms, bleeding out to death due to a stray bullet in his chest. Sean cried out to him, begging him to hold on, but he could feel that Daniel was fading away from him. His hands and arms were smeared with his brother’s blood, but he was too devastated to care. And finally at his final second....he stopped breathing. Sean let out a scream of agony before breaking down into uncontrollable sobs.

At this point, he didn’t know whether or not he should move on. Keep moving forward to Puerto Lobos? For what? The point of this whole journey was so that they could escape together. And now that Daniel is no longer here, what was the point anymore?

Maybe this is what I get for being so fucking stupid, Sean thought in the midst of his grief. This is all my fucking fault.

I'm so sorry Daniel.....

He sat in the truck, continuing to hold his brother as he bawled his heart out over him. After what felt like hours, he reluctantly let go of Daniel and slowly climbed out of the vehicle. He then turned to look at the broken border gates at about 90 feet away and saw that some of the police cars that were still standing from Daniel’s force were waiting close by, even spotted several cops peering over from the distance.

A sorrowful wrenching feeling twisted in his gut. He knew what he had to do.

Sean walked over to the other side of the truck and carried Daniel’s limp body out of his seat. Then with a heavy heart as more tears continuously streamed down his face, he walked back towards the gates....

......and willingly turned himself in.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Months had passed since the incident. Sean was in a state of catatonic shock. The authorities eventually deemed him mentally unfit for trial or prison and so he was placed under indefinite house arrest at the Reynolds’ and was only allowed to leave if it was an extreme emergency. (Playing it very loosely with US laws here just go with it.) A funeral was held for Daniel, but Sean couldn’t be there. He just didn’t have the strength to bear it. The immense guilt was already crushing him and it was pushing him over the edge and off into the abyss that no light can reach.

The people who did manage to attend were Claire and Stephen, Karen, Charles and Chris, and Lyla.

Claire wiping her tears with her handkerchief every 5 seconds while her husband comforted her, firmly squeezing her shoulders from behind, silently praying that their grandson’s soul will finally find peace.

Karen gazed at Daniel's pale face in deep remorse, internally wishing with all her heart that things shouldn’t have to end this way. She shouldn’t have to live with the fact that she had lost her youngest son, whom she had only gotten to know for 2 months, along with her former husband. But the truth will always be there.

Chris looked on at the boy laying in the casket, still couldn’t believe that his newfound friend was just....gone. For good this time. The team duo is no more, for Captain Spirit had lost his most trustful companion. A lump had risen in his throat as he was unable to hold back a sob. Charles glanced down at him and softly squeezed his son's small hand in reassuring comfort.

Lyla was left with barely any words or thoughts other than facing the reality that the brother of his best friend has passed away. It was a reality she could not accept. She had known him just as long as she had known Sean, so the loss was still just as overwhelming. A thought did crawled its way across her mind however, of how deeply all of this was affecting Sean, the one who was taking the most brunt of it all, unable to say one final goodbye to his little brother and instead cooped up at his grandparents' house, his mind wandering to a very dark place. Her heart broke for both of the brothers as her internal anger grew against the injustice that let this happen, and her cheeks heated pink from crying.

Daniel was eventually buried next to his father in the graveyard. It was the kind of reunion that was more sorrowful to the living than anything.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Little by little, Sean did eventually start functioning normally again and fell into a routine. Eating, washing his own dishes, doing a couple of other chores when asked to, cleansing his left eye, sleeping at a certain time etc. Eventually, he was required to continue his education from home and homework was becoming part of his routine as well. He tried reading a few fiction books from time to time but felt nothing for the story or its characters.

And all the while, the numb empty feeling remained inside of him. He was only running on autopilot and his body just mindlessly going through the motions. Just living long enough to start another day again. Nothing more.

He slowly got back into drawing but only draws small simple things like plants and other objects around the house. A few times however, he caught himself subconsciously sketching out faint outlines of Daniel's facial features. His young face was looking up at him with eyes that had that child-like innocence before it was taken away, with perhaps, a hint of forgiveness....

Sean shook that thought from his mind and erased the lines.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Appointments with a therapist has been set up for Sean, because of course he had to see one since he was dealt with such trauma.

At most of those appointments, he would just sit there in silence until the time was up. But later down the road, it was discovered that he still talked about his brother in present tense.

Therapist: “So I was told that you were drawing Power Bear on the living room wall before you cleaned it off. Do you want to explain that?”

Sean: “Well....Daniel likes Power Bear. He'd play with that toy whenever he could and makes up wild stories about his adventures.”

Therapist: “It’s liked, Sean. He liked Power Bear.”

Sean: “No...he still does. Although I do think he’s getting a bit too old for that, huh?”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Sean wasn’t allowed visitors until he was mentally ready and could start speaking properly again. Lyla came by as soon as she was notified that the visitors ban has finally lifted.

Claire: (knocking on his bedroom door) “Sean? Someone is here to see you.”

A sense of dread immediately overcame him as he thought it was probably Flores coming in to check in on him again, but his mind stopped in its tracks for a short moment when he saw another kind of familiar face; one that he hasn’t seen in what seemed like ages.

Lyla: (greeted in a soft voice) “Hey, Sean.”

Sean: (eye widen in disbelief as he whispers) “Lyla?”

They came together and held each other in a long embrace. Nothing else was said between them. There was everything they wanted to say to each other all at once but not wanting to break this single moment of reunion. Lyla had been wanting to ask about his missing eye but had to remind herself that this wasn’t a good time for it. Even after they eventually came apart, they held each other’s hands as they both sat on Sean’s bed in continued silence. As Sean was given time to recollect himself, Lyla glanced a bit around the room. Everything was so neat and tidy...perhaps a bit too pristine. It was devoid of any personality. Nothing in that room uniquely screams “Sean” at all.

Finally, a small voice came out of her friend once more. “Lyla...?”

She redirected her full attention to him and gently rubbed her thumb across his palm. “Yeah, Sean?”

He lifted his eye to meet her gaze. “I.....”

“I lost Daniel.”

That sentence hung in the air like a rain cloud before it slowly sank down between them. Sean's breathing began to shake as it dawned on him again in full force and broke him down...just like that day when it happened. Lyla was the first person to hear him admitting that.

“Oh God, Sean,” she whispered with empathy as she laid her friend's head on her shoulder and let his tears soak through her shirt. “I’m so, so sorry.”

She was aware that he had probably heard those words so many times before but it was all she could offer in that very second. Seeing him cry made Lyla cried with him as well.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Daniel's death has left him broken but not beyond repair. The road to healing and finding his inner peace will be a long and arduous one but he will not go through the grief alone.

Somewhere along the way, he could feel a slight touch of an invisible force holding around his middle as he was standing over the kitchen sink. Sean turned around, only to find that no one was there and wondered if he was really losing it. Little did he know, however, was that beyond the boundary of life and death, his sweet little wolf was patiently waiting for him, waiting for the day he could tell him that he has never stopped loving him to the moon and back.

Because nothing can ever truly separate the Wolf Brothers.

#life is strange 2 #life is strange #lis2 #the person who originally came up with this au actually went on to include Finn coming to visit Sean and tries to make up to him #but I think I already made this post long enough lol #my post #my wild imagination

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moodybluthcomic · 4 years

Text

From Thumbnails to Comic Page

This is the second in my series of Behind-The-Scenes posts about Moody Bluth: Anti-Neoliberal Sleuth. Next full page is scheduled to go up December 30th- I will let you know if that changes, which it might since December is a busy time of year! For this post I wanted to run through the process of deciding what goes on a comic page. I presume that are much- much- better and more controlled ways of doing this that what I’ve done. Personally, for other comic projects after this, I would do way less scripting and thumbnailing and save those for later in the project, starting instead by just laying out how many pages each major plot point should take up, and which actions should happen on each page. Then I would make looser scripts and thumbnails for guide, to give myself more flexibility in changing the script later, and to keep the page count from getting too big.

Buuut. I didn’t do that here. I did something miles more convoluted and indecipherable. So here I’m going to run through page 21 (read the finished page here) from my first scripts to the full page. I thought this would be a good example page to use since it barely even existed in the first iterations of the script and has changed a lot since then.

I wrote the initial script for Liptstick Don’t Lie in summer 2018. I kind of knew what all the central plot points would be (or so I thought) but not having drawn a lot of comics before, I had no idea how much action/dialogue I was going to be able to fit on a page and have it be readable. I went about figuring this out the most time consuming way possible: by starting at the beginning and working my way through the story making full-size stick-figure sketches of each page and hand-writing in the dialogue. I knew I wanted the comic to be printable on 8.5x11 paper so I just took 8.5x11 note paper and drew two pages per side. This was a slow process, often interrupted when I would turn to a fresh page to start drawing only to realize that I’d left myself an awkward amount of action or dialogue for the next page and I had to go back and re-sketch pages. I would stop and make quicker, smaller thumbnails for the next several pages, and then thumbnail in those pages larger, and then still find myself going backto revise the whole thing. I would scan those in, type out the script above, send it to Margo (my research supervisor and editor, god bless her soul), and then go back and revise the whole thing again. I don’t remember the details of this process, but I know there was a lot of change, hashing and re-hashing of just what the plot points and dialogue would be.

{Image Description: Two numbered images:

1. A scanned script document containing a 4-quadrant chart. The top two quadrants contain scripted dialogue for two pages in which Moody wanders lost around the Disability Services Centre saying things like, “Am I imagining things? It’s like I’m walking in circles,” and, “Celebrated Youth Sleuth Can’t Even Find Way Out Of Administrative Building.” The bottom quadrants of the chart contain scanned illegible thumbnail drawings of layouts for the above pages, with Moody wandering through empty hallways. The gist of it is that these scripts and pages hardly resemble the finished page at all. There are also a number of sketches of Moody’s face, eyes, and facial expressions in the margins that don’t look much like current Moody.

2. A pencil sketch of a page layout done on lined paper. This page has Moody standing in an empty hallway with a chair and two doors, looking down the hallway purposefully with their hands on their hips, walking around a corner, and then standing with their hands in the air in front of a wide open space full of trees and obstacle course equipment.} _____

Parts of the initial script have stayed the same from the very beginning, but parts of it are unrecognizable. Page 21, the one in question, didn’t even exist there in its current form. In fact, most of the second half of the comic didn’t really exist. Initally I had Moody simply getting lost in a maze of unending hallways in the Disability Services Centre. "Remember the scene from I Heart Huckabees where he’s running through this white hallway and there just keeps being hallway and he keeps running and it keeps being white and it there just keeps being hallway?” I asked everybody who read the draft script. I wanted it to be like that. (Nobody remembered.)

The closest thing I can find in that initial script to the current page 21 is Figure 1, above. Some of the dialogue that happened on those two page now happens on page 21. Some of it happens other places. Some of it I’m pretty sure no longer exists. Those two pages had Moody essentially wandering through the hallways of the disability services, becoming more and more lost, and beginning to feel desperate. That script was a whole was a bit longer than I had hope, but still comfy at 28 pages - the two pages pictured were pages 15-16. Now, the action and dialogue of those two pages is interspersed with other things across many many more pages in the final comic, from page 18-ish or so to page [SPOILERS REDACTED]. But that didn’t happen until later.

First, the initial, white-hallways-only version of the script went through many edits and revisions. Margo and I sent it to friends and family members for feedback and sensitivity reading and suggestions on how to make the disability theory and anti-neoliberalism read clearly. We finalized the script- there were a few sticking points (I can’t remember what they were) but we seemed almost ready to move on.

And then, in early August or so, at a meeting about one of those final revisions, I had my Great Big Terrible Horrible Very Good Idea. What if, instead of hallways, I had Moody wandering through impossible, magical rooms: like the fairground, the obstacle course, and [SPOILERS REDACTED]. This seemed like such a better choice metaphorically and artistically and theoretically that I knew instantly it was now the only option. Not wanting to add too many pages or revisions, I frantically took the already finished and proofread script and tried to fit the existing dialogue to new thumbnails- which became Image 2. above.

You can see in Figure 2 above, we have something at least with the same basic premise as the current page 21. Moody is in a hallway that looks just like every other hallway, they turn a corner, and then find themselves in the forest with the obstacle course. This version only has 4 short dialogue lines for the page: “Wasn’t I just here,” “I must’ve gone the wrong way,” “what?” and, “Where the heck am I?” In that version of the script this was page 17, but I had managed to move and condense things to keep the script still at around 28 pages. I scribbled those revised pages in the back of a notebook and then left them there. “That will be good enough,” I thought, “I’ll worry about that later.” It was the end of the summer, Margo and I were no longer having regular meetings, I wanted to start drawing. I pushed the later pages to the back of my mind and started at the beginning. I designed the characters, I figured out fonts and line weights and style guides. And then finally I started drawing.

{Image Description: Four numbered images: 1. Two stickynotes showing tiny sketches of a revised page 20-21, labelled Autumn 2018. 2. More stickynotes showing a revised pages 20-25, labelled Feb 20, 2019} 3. My big wall of stickynotes containing the whole comic laid out in 2-page spreads. 4. Stickynotes with a once more revised pages 20-23, labelled present (Nov 2019)}

_____

I drew. I moved across the country. I drew. I, unbelievably, began preparing to move houses a second time. I kept drawing. And then, sometime between moves, around October 2018- Panic! I realized that somewhere in the kerfuffle of moving, I had ended up referencing a wrong, older version of thumbnails. At this point I had completely finished drawing 8 pages, and at least a couple of them had mostly-correct-but-just-wrong-enough-to-be-a-problem layouts. With comics, it is important to maintain rhythm: for example, a big surprise reveal will feel wrong in the middle of a page- it should come at the bottom of a page, or at the top of a new one. And in the careful dance of condensing pages without messing up those rhythms, my little errors was going to throw off the entire rest of the story. I stayed up that night with a pack of stickynotes, moving around pages until I got something that worked. It was, if I remember correctly, around 34 pages or so long. It was going to take me a month or two longer to draw, I was tired, but this was fine. It was fine. That reshuffle was where page 17 became page 21 (Figure 1). At this point, this page has moody tumble through the door from the fairground, and dust themself off, and then much like the previous thumbnail sketch the script is: “Wasn’t I just here?” “What?” and, “Where the heck am I?” as they presumably move around the hallway and then enter the forest.

I kept on working and thinking and over time and a number of minor changes and re-shufflings ensued. I have a bunch of scanned images saved in my computer of stickynotes dated to February 20th, 2019 that include more re-working this section, moving around panels and dialogue (Figure 2 above). They are pretty sparse to look at, but I could remember what they meant. (Or so I thought.) These stickynotes have the action of what is now page 21 spread across 3 pages: 21-23. Since I always wanted the comic to be printed as a booklet, from the very beginning I was always planning all the pages in facing 2-page spreads. And in this case, I thought it was important that the big reveal of the massive forest view come either at the top or bottom of a new spread, not in the middle of a page somewhere. I guess that moving around panels on the pages before this must have pushed this action forward into it’s own spread, which explains why this version has “Where the heck am I?” on it’s own page- so that a big, full-page climactic view of the forest could close out those two facing pages. Interestingly, in these layouts, the line “Celebrated Youth Sleuth Can’t Even Find Way Out Of Administrative Building” was still on page 25, somehow. I can’t remember if this iteration of edits made the page count longer or shorter. I think around here was when it reached it’s longest- a devastating 36 pages.

There were more shiftings and shufflings and the final page count is back down currently to 31(ish) pages as per the massive pile of stickynotes currently sitting on the wall above my desk (Figure 3, above). Somehow, even my most current stickynote iteration (Figure 4) doesn’t have page 21 correct, with “Where the heck am I” still a line, and it’s accompanying reveal of the forest still taking up most of page 22 as opposed to it’s final place on page 21.

{Image Description: Two numbered images: 1. A digital sketch laying out the panels and action for page 21 in transparent blue. 2. The final completed page 21 as it appears online.}

_____

So when I finally sat down to draw this page a couple months ago, I was faced with, mostly just a bunch of illegible stickynotes and an inaccurate script from over a year ago. You can see I relied heavily on going back to those lined-paper sketches from last summer, although I added several more panels to make the layout more dynamic and accurately convey the space within the hallways that Moody is walking through. I knew I wanted them to be able to be walking to the right so it would look like they were venturing forward down the hallway and into the forest space. But I also knew I wanted them, when faced with an identical hallway from last time, to try walking in the opposite direction. (You’ll notice on page 19 they walk to the right of the chair to get to the double doors that open to the fairground, so this time I needed them to walk to the left. But walking left on a comics page reads a lot like moving backwards. You can make it work, but in this case I thought it would disrupt the forward-motion that makes this page feel adventurous and like you are moving energetically through the space.)

Dusting off the cobwebs from the only thing I learned in that one film class I took in school in like 2014, I knew I didn’t want to jump too quickly from left-facing to right-facing because that could be visually disorientating. Instead I added two new extra panels to give the framing a camera-panning-like quality. We see Moody from the front, then they turn to look down the hallway as the camera pans around and above, and then down behind them, following them around the corner until ultimately we see them from right side of their body, so that we can still see them walking to the right of the page in a way that reads as going forward, while knowing that they actually walked in a different direction than before.

When I did the final layout sketches for this page (figure 1 above), I actually also did the layout sketches for the following 2-page spread as well. That’s not my typical workflow- I usually try to work one spread at a time, otherwise it gets hard to post new pages on a regular schedule- but at this point it felt necessary to understand how Moody was going to move through the forest and obstacle course on the following pages, before I could know what it looked like and thus be able to draw it from above. It ended up being simpler than I thought, since the part of the obstacle course that Moody climbs through in page 22 didn’t really end up being visible from here, but I still was glad I planned it out.

Working on that blue layout sketch is where the dialogue got finalized for this page. The text layers are turned off in this screengrab, but I actually laid the whole text out here so I could make sure it fit and plan the drawings around it. I also had to come up with more dialogue to fill this page and make sense with the action, since the 4 sad lines of dialogue I’d been moving around on sticky notes weren’t really cutting it for me any more. I went back to that original script from last summer to check if anything important was missing, and decided to add the line “What’s wrong with me?” back in from the original script. I think that was when “Youth Sleuth Can’t Even Find Own Way Out Of Administrative Building” finally made its way to its rightful place on the page as well. I’m pretty sure I came up with the lines “Nancy Drew on a sweet blue roadster-- what is going on here??” on the fly as I was laying out the panels for this page. In the back of my head I had always known “Where the heck am I?” was a placeholder line because, since Moody doesn’t say any real-word curse words in the comic, I knew that at some point I was going to have to come up with something else clever. Some other time, I’ll do a post about going from a layout sketch like this one to a finished an inked page. But for now this has gone on way way long enough. ANYWAYS. This is a very long post. If you read this far, I hope you gained some understanding of the the convoluted decisions that get made while working on a comic over time. And also a good idea of some things to absolutely not do (Spend too much time on the initial script and thumbnails, leave yourself indecipherable notes, move across the country and then move again two months later...)

As I’ve worked on this comic, these kinds of edits and changes have become a necessary part of the process. Not only am I working from scripts and thumbnails that might as well be inscrutable runes, I’ve also had new ideas, made interesting mistakes that need to be fixed, and learned new drawing skills that have changed what I can and want to do. As I’m writing this blog post (in mid-November- a bit ahead of time), I’ve just had to recently re-organize, re-thumbnail, and re-work dialogue for most of the next five pages of story, just because of accumulated errors and changes from previous pages (ie: some of the dialogue I was planning on using for a page I accidentally used elsewehere...) or changes in what I can do (ie: wanting to fit more action on a page now that I have better drawing skills). That’s a part of why I’m sharing these behind the scenes posts- to buy myself some time to reorganize and get these next pages right! As always, thanks so much for reading and supporting Mood Bluth! Talk to you soon :)

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punkpoemprose · 5 years

Text

December 1st- Ink

Universe: Modern AU, Tattoo Artist! Kristoff Rating: M (Mature for non-descriptive sexual content & innuendo and Anna said fuck once) Length: Words 4184

You can blame a few people for this one. @frozenmusings for that artwork of Viking! Kristoff with the sleeve tat that I couldn’t find when I was writing but is absolutely gorgeous. And @karis-the-fangirl and @upthenorthmountain for reminding me how badly I wanted a tattoo artist AU when they posted about “tit for tat” which I still desperately want you to write.

Anyway, sorry for the lateness! Here we go!

This wasn’t his first rodeo. It wasn’t even his tenth. He’d heard every argument in the books and his counter argument was the same every single time, no matter how people yelled or how many eyelashes were batted at him.

“You’re not making this decision with a clear head, so I’m sorry. The answer is no.”

She looked like she was about to cry and he steeled himself. Kristoff Bjorgman had never been the type of man to be shaken from his convictions by a few tears. He had been called ‘no-nonsense’, ‘determined’ and even occasionally ‘obstinate’, but he’d never been afraid to live up to everyone.

It didn’t mean he was heartless.

He sighed and reached for the box of tissues on his desk, ready to hand them over in a moment’s notice. The distraught young woman before him, a pretty little redhead with freckles and blue eyes full of emotion, had come into his shop for a walk-in consultation but she’d pushed him to take it from a consultation to an appointment within the first ten minutes.

It was hardly unheard of. He’d been willing to work on a walk in several times in the past, but the last thing he wanted to do was put ink to skin on an emotional tattoo virgin. He knew implicitly that it was a horrible plan because impulse tats always came with regrets. He wasn’t going to tattoo her for the same reasons he wouldn’t tattoo someone drunk or high and he’d explain it to her before or after she cried it out.

“Look,” he said, already offering her a tissue with a sad smile, “It’s nothing personal. There’s about six shops on this side of town that would do this for you, no questions asked, but you walked into mine and I only tattoo people when I think they’re in the right headspace. You’ve never had a tattoo before and you look like you’re about to breakdown. So if you want you can leave and find someone else, or I can sketch something for you and you can come back in a week or so and tell me then if you still want it. Fair?”

She huffed out a sigh that sounded a little strangled to him, like she was choking down a sob, but she didn’t take a tissue from him and folded her hands in her lap calmly. She was staring through him as she weighed her options and he wondered if she was taking the time to truly decide or whether she was just trying to calm herself down.

“That’s fair. I knew I should have just dyed my hair or something… but I…” she stopped for a moment and closed her eyes. Whatever she had to say it was easier for her to not look at him when she did. “I’ve wanted one for a while and he never let…”

Her eyes opened again and she looked down at her own folded hands. Suddenly despite the open air style of his studio, their interaction felt intimate. He blamed it on the lack of other people in the shop. Even his dog Sven who usually greeted the customers at the door was off on some other canine errand and Kristoff wasn’t sure whether he wanted him to return or not to break the tension.

“Bad break up?”

He didn’t know why he was asking. It was private information. He didn’t need to know why she was distraught, he just needed to make sure she knew why he wouldn’t ink her while she was in such a state.

Despite the occupational hazard of small talk that came with his job, kind of like a bartender or hairdresser, Kristoff had never been the type to initiate conversation. He figured he was generally well liked, given his number of return customers, but he had a feeling it had more to do with his work and clean shop than it did his conversational skills. He’d always been content to listen than to pry or talk about any concern of his own.

But this girl, Anna, seemed like she was ready to explode and maybe he was beginning to soften a bit for a pretty face. No one was around to see it, so he decided that he was allowed.

She looked at him with a bit of shock on her face, but it quickly disappeared, and she nodded.

“I won’t bore you with the details,” she said, her voice cracking in a way that he could feel in his chest, “But this is the first time in a long time that I’ve been able to make a decision for myself… and I’m sorry… I should have thought it through before I came here to bother you, it’s just. God. I wanted to belong to myself again. Does that make sense? He hated women with tattoos and I’d always liked them, so it seemed like a good way to say ‘good riddance’.”

He nodded. It wasn’t the first time he’d heard something like this from someone just coming out of a relationship. Hell, he’d almost done it himself when he’d been a dumb seventeen year old and he’d found out his first and last girlfriend had been kissing every guy in the grade. He was glad he didn’t of course, but Anna seemed to have a bit more conviction and twice as good of a reason.

“It makes sense. But if it makes sense to you now it’ll make sense to you in a week, yeah? I don’t do this very often, but uh, well if you want after I draw it up for you I can transfer it on you and Sharpie it on so you can see what it’d be like for the week give or take. It won’t look as great, but it might help with… you know, uh what you’re feeling.”

He wondered if he was blushing. He hadn’t blushed in a long time, after all he’d tattooed enough naked women to be over getting embarrassed for the rest of his life, but there was something about approaching her feelings, a stranger, that made him feel flushed. There was a part of his head that told him it was justified by something between the way he desperately wanted to make her smile and the way he wanted to go drop her ex-boyfriend into the nearest body of water with a pair of cement shoes.

She smiled at that and he practically melted into his chair. She was still teary eyed and a bit exhausted looking, but there was a little light in her eyes that told him that it may have been the kindest thing someone had done for her in a very long time. It made him want to be even nicer.

“So a sunflower right?”

“Please!”

***

Anna laid awake in her bed, tracing the faux tattoo on her bare shoulder with one finger as she held her book open with the other hand. She couldn’t keep her mind on reading it. She was too excited for her appointment first thing in the morning where it would be made permanent.

She closed her eyes and remembered how kind Kristoff had been when she stumbled into his tattoo parlor a complete wreck. He hadn’t needed to go out of his way to draw the line art onto her, but he had. He’d explained it off as if it were just something to do on a slow day, but she for all her past trouble understanding intentions, had seen right through it. He was a good man and he had been sweeter to her than anyone had been in a very long time.

She hoped that she was going to be able to keep it together when she arrived in the morning.

Setting the book down and laying back into the bed she realized how most of her excitement wasn’t even about the tattoo, though she was thrilled to be finally getting it and her week-long trial period had left her without any doubts, a major part of the excitement was owing to the fact that she was going to see him and his hands were going to be on her again. She could still feel the ghost of his calloused finger pads on her freckled shoulder. He’d been gentle in his machinations, his hand resting and shifting gently across her skin as he moved the marker, fingers patting powder onto the ink to keep it from smearing as he worked, and she’d almost sworn that once or twice his fingers swiped at her skin wholly unnecessarily. She was likely wrong, her imagination running wild that he’d found her something beyond a weepy mess, and yet she’d sworn he’d been blushing at least a little bit when he helped her slip her shirt back over her shoulder. Of course he was a gentleman, maybe he blushed every time he laid his hands on a lady for his work.

She smiled to herself and tried her best to fall asleep.

Somehow I seriously doubt it.

***

“Fuck!”

Kristoff chuckled. He couldn’t help himself.

“Anna, I just touched your shoulder, I haven’t even set up the gun yet.”

She felt herself going red and closed her eyes, as if her blocking out her own vision of the space around her could hide how embarrassing she was being. She had been so excited the night before, and now she was a mess. She’d never been very good at pain and despite Kristoff’s repeated promise that the first few minutes were the worst and that the pain dulls fast, it was all she could do to keep herself from shaking from her nerves alone.

“I know! I know! I’m sorry! I don’t mean to be so nervous! I’m sorry!”

He shook his head. Her eyes were closed tight. It was nothing new to him, scared first time clients were just a part of the business. What wasn’t run of the mill was the way he wanted to reach out and tuck a few stray hairs behind her ear and maybe cup her jaw and maybe tell her how he’d be happy to just spend the rest of the day in her presence with or without tattooing her despite the fact that he also very much wanted to mark her in a way he’d never wanted to do any other client in his six year career.

He settled on the safest bet and tried to erase the others from his mind.

“Don’t be sorry. You’re my only appointment today, so we don’t have to start until you’re feeling good about it. And if you want to back out, that’s fine too.”

“No. I want to do this.” She opened her eyes to see that he was still sitting to her side. His eyes were on her and she could see that there was no judgement there. “Plus you said it won’t even be that bad.”

He shook his head, “I don’t want to make it sound like a walk in the park or anything, but yeah most people agree the shoulder is the least painful.”

“What do you think though?”

He smiled that she wanted to know what he thought specifically. He wasn’t one of the artists that was head to toe ink, but he’d had a few pieces done since he’d started in the field at eighteen. He hadn’t ever had one on his shoulder specifically, but the sleeve on his right arm had started on his shoulder and had worked down his arm. He was certain that despite the intricacy of the design that it had been far less painful than the tattoo on his chest.

He shrugged off his flannel and watched Anna’s eyes go wide as she caught sight of his arm. He tried his best not to react as he tugged up the sleeve on the t-shirt beneath, so she could see his shoulder. It was hardly impressive compared to some of the sleeves he’d seen on others, or even compared to some he’d done himself, but he liked it well enough and judging by Anna’s reaction it seemed that she found it impressive.

It was a piece of Norse knotwork, a recreation of a wood carving in the wall of a 12th-century stave church that he longed to visit in person. The curves moved up his arm, lightly shaded to let the knotwork stand out against his skin, curves of lines following the contours of his arm that moved like living things along with him.

“Honestly it was my third tattoo, so I had stuff to compare it to, but I didn’t think it was that bad. I mean it’s going to be painful, but I promise it won’t be too much for you to handle and we can take all the breaks you want or need.”

Kristoff watched like it was in slow motion as she reached out to touch his arm gently. Her finger followed the path of one of the knots from his elbow up to his shoulder and he could scarcely breathe. She was so focused on what she was doing, as if it were wholly natural for her to touch him and he was enjoying it.

“I was a foster kid,” he said, the words tumbling from his lips without meaning to. He wasn’t the sharing sort. “When I was sixteen a family offered to adopt me but I didn’t want to be a burden and they kept me anyway. When I turned eighteen they still wanted me, they supported me and I wouldn’t be here without them. When I turned twenty they helped me figure out where I came from, one of those DNA tests and when I realized I was Norwegian… I sort of ran with it and honored it the only way I knew how.”

Anna blinked then pulled her hand away as if burned. She opened her mouth to apologize, but she saw his smile and stopped herself. He was already telling her there was nothing to apologize for.

“It suits you,” she said quietly, trying to subdue her blush as she chided herself about personal space as if she were a child again. It wasn’t his fault that she was attracted to him, that she’d forgotten completely how to act around other people.

“Thank you,” he said. And he meant it.

He pulled his flannel back on and cleared his throat. He meant it and that meant he had to remember where he was, what he was doing. Anna was sweet and beautiful and above all else she was his client. He needed to shake all the thoughts from his mind about how much he would enjoy letting her trace all his tattoos as he traced all her curves with his mouth.

“So how are you feeling about all of this now?”

She glanced around the room for a moment. Despite the fact that there was no one else in the shop and the fact that she didn’t need to strip down beyond her tank top to get her tattoo he’d brought her to a private room. She noticed it now, the bits and baubles that made it his more than the rest of his shop. There were flannels on a hook by the door that all looked well worn. A few clearly had been sewn back up on the elbows with patches. The flash on the wall was all hand drawn Thor’s hammers, Odin’s eyes, and more knotwork like what was present on his arm. In the corner of the room was a large dog bed for Sven, his wolfhound mix that was currently holding down the fort outside the closed door.

“Suddenly very good.”

“Okay,” he said, giving her a smile as he started off prepping her arm by removing the last of the sharpie on her arm, “If you start to feel not very good tell me, okay? You’ve got a little time before we start.”

She smiled back, “I, um… I don’t think that’s going to be an issue. I’m feeling a bit better now.”

“Good, I’m going to talk you through what I’m doing so I don’t scare you again, okay?”

Anna lost herself in the process, relaxing back onto the chair as he wiped away the temporary ink, shaved away the fine hair on her shoulder, and applied the pattern to her skin with transfer paper. His voice, walking her through the steps was soothing, though she barely paid attention to his words as she relaxed herself completely.

She had decided that she was in excellent hands, and the gentle touches of his hands on her made her wish she were with him for something more than business. She wished that he’d slip the gloves from his hands and change course for someplace a little more exciting than her shoulder. She bit her lip at the thought and was then pulled from her reverie by his voice calling her name.

“Anna? Are you ready?”

The calm evaporated, and she was suddenly all to aware of the fact that she was just moments away from getting her first tattoo.

“As I’ll ever be, I’m afraid.”

Kristoff could see her anxiety returning and he could understand it. It’d been more than six years since his first and he could still remember nearly wanting to vomit the whole time. He couldn’t really relate any more, but he felt a lot of empathy for her.

“Okay, keep your arm still alright? If it gets to be too much or you need a break or feel like you’re going to pass out or you need a drink or anything at all, you tell me, okay? I’m going to take care of you.”

He really wanted to take care of her.

“I’m getting a sunflower because before my parents passed away, we had a family camp up in the mountains and there were fields of sunflowers on the drive up.”

He hadn’t asked, but he appreciated her telling him anyway. She hadn’t asked about his and she’d appreciated him telling her anyway. There was a weight hanging in the air between them, something that was about their sharing and about something more. She could almost feel the pressure of it and then it dissipated pleasantly when she heard his voice.

“I’m honored you picked me to do it.”

“I’m honored you agreed.”

And with that she nodded, and she felt like her sister’s cat Olaf had decided to go to town on her shoulder.

“Ah!”

He didn’t mean to hush her gently when it came out of his mouth and he didn’t mean to quietly apologize to her either.

“Sorry Anna, I know it hurts, it’ll be alright in a moment, trust me.”

She clenched her jaw and closed her eyes. She was fairly certain it didn’t even hurt all that much and that it was more the foreignness of the situation that made it all seem worse. She focused on breathing through her nose and fought back against the little tears in the corner of her eyes.

“Hey, hey, don’t tense up. It’s okay, you’re doing great! Relax a bit and it’ll get better okay?”

“Easy for you to say.”

He couldn’t help but smile at that, “I know, do you want me to stop?”

“No, no, I think I’ll get used to it in a minute or two.”

He focused on keeping his hand steady after that, following the curves of the pattern as he created petals of ink on her skin. He wiped away gently at the blood and ink that appeared on her shoulder with the pinpricks the machine’s needles made in her skin. She was holding perfectly still, and he found he was able to work along at a nice pace as he focused on inking her skin.

Anna was somewhat surprised when she relaxed again and thought for a moment how amazing it was that what was once painful was now entirely bearable. Shortly after this realization came, she found the courage to glance in her periphery at what he was doing and how far along they were.

He was sexy when he was focused. She’d already decided it within a moment of laying eyes on him as he focused on tattooing her. If it weren’t for the fact that she had the state of mind not to, she would tell him so. She wondered if anyone had ever told him before.

That was when she felt a change again, but it wasn’t for the worse.

“Ah! Kristoff!”

She heard the gun stop before she realized what had happened, or even registered the sounds she’d made. A throaty moan, and then a needy call of his name followed by silence.

She could only imagine the shade of crimson she was as he looked at her nervously, likely trying to figure out what he had done to hurt her when she was the opposite of hurt beyond the ache in her arm.

“Are you alright?”

Anna had no idea how to respond to that. She felt hot and exhausted and embarrassed and she hadn’t thought that she could have made a bigger fool of herself, but somehow, she’d managed.

It clicked when he saw how she looked away from him suddenly, her body going from lax to stiff faster than he could say “that’s the first orgasm I’ve ever given a woman”, which he of course had the good sense not to say.

“Oh.”

“I should not be allowed in public. I’m a menace, oh my God. I’m so sorry!”

He, after spending half the session thinking less than gentlemanly thoughts about what he would do with her if she ever wanted to see him for non-tattoo purposes, immediately felt guilty.

“Why are you sorry? I mean… I know what just... but why would you be…?”

She was mortified. She couldn’t even answer him as she was trying to make mental plans as to how she was going to go the rest of her life with a half a sunflower on her shoulder. She had already paid him, she could bolt now and live with it. She didn’t think she could ever have anyone else tattoo her ever again.

“Anna, it happens. I mean… never to me, or someone I’ve been tattooing, but I’ve heard it happens. Usually with thigh and hip tattoos, but it happens, and you don’t need to be embarrassed.”

“Yes I do!” she replied before she could think any better of it, “I do because I’m recently single and there’s supposed to be a ‘mourning period’ you know? And you’ve been so nice to me and I’ve been zoning out thinking about what else you could do with your hands and I…”

She trailed off and he blinked.

“You’ve been thinking about…”

“I have to leave here and never come back, don’t I?” she said, already judging how fast she could get out the door.

“Well if you do I have to as well because I’ve been thinking about the same sort of thing.”

“Wait… what?”

Kristoff sighed and bemoaned his lack of experience with women beyond a few bad dates. There was no way that this was a normal way to tell her that he was interested in her, but normal fell by the wayside a while ago for them.

“Look I think you’re a very attractive woman and since you walked into my shop last week you’ve been on my mind and I’ll admit to thinking some things about you that I probably shouldn’t think about a client. I don’t want that to freak you out though and I know we’re here alone and you… well just know I’m not upset and I’m not going to act on anything because until I get this tattoo done there’s a power imbalance here and I’m not that kind of guy.”

Anna held her breath for a moment. She thought about pinching herself until the ache in her arm told her she certainly wasn’t dreaming.

“What about after?”

“After what?”

He was confused and embarrassed and already thinking about the other places in town he would trust enough to finish her tattoo for her given the fact that she’d probably not want him to finish it.

“After you finish my tattoo… I mean I understand the concept of not fraternizing with your customers, but after you’re done?”

He couldn’t believe what she was saying and he had to take a moment to connect her words to meaning in his mind.

“Then,” he said finally coming to his senses to blot away the excess ink on her arm gently, “I suppose if you… if we… I uh, would want to do things right. Maybe after I finish your tattoo I’ll take you out to dinner?”

“Maybe after you finish, I’ll kiss you and tell you dinner sounds great?”

“Then maybe I should get to it? If you’re feeling ready?”

Anna nodded, wondering if ‘doing things right’ meant he’d do the things she’d been imagining to her after dinner. She wanted to see what he could do with his hands when he was trying to make her feel something. While he’d blamed it on the tattoo gun she was pretty certain her few moments of bliss had been owing more to his proximity and her keen imagination. She wondered what it might be like not to imagine.

“Absolutely.”

#kristanna #kristanna advent 2018 #tattoo artist au #tbh this is fluff #meet cute?#You'll see

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janinediary · 6 years

Photo

JY: Define your style of painting further?

SH: My works are created within a framework I invented for myself. I would call it “Hybrid Painting,” which is composed of water color painting, action painting and conceptual art. These three components are my working principles. I prefer to use water color for my paintings due to its transparency property. Action painting is using watercolor without drawing. For me, I am discouraged when I try to sketch something with pencil and this prevents me from applying watercolor in my painting. So the sketch phrase is no longer essential for me. Without pencil sketch, I am also excited every time because I cannot predict the result of my painting. For the conceptual art, I have three things to accomplish: The first one is that I create great quality of artwork. The second one is that my artworks give positive vibes to audiences and the last one is that my artworks are friendly to the environment.

JY: Tell me more about painting water color without drawing.

SH: Recently I began giving more importance to painting flowers and stopped doing all classical style paintings altogether. I felt that I had to paint pictures of roses that were clearer and more remarkable. I call this conceptual water color painting art. There are two concepts to be considered. The first one is “Watercolor without drawing” and the second one is “Modern with Unpaint”. For the first concept, we should give up the drawing step because we do not want drawing paper to be damaged or dirty during the removal of a pencil sketch with an eraser. For the second concept, we also need a white background to stand for empty or pure space. I want to convey the bright light and pure air in my imagination. This also covers the fragrance of roses that we can sense imaginatively. Simulating natural light is preferable when you work indoors so that you feel more comfortable.

JY: About pictures you use for references. Where do you get them? Or do you use real flowers?

SH: Actually I use both. I usually use real flowers as a reference but sometimes I use photographs. However, it is significant that the feeling must be real and you have to learn only from nature. Both real objects and photos have their own advantages.

In my view, water color is the technique that creates the atmosphere. It seems as if we might be able to breathe some air from the watercolor painting. This is the most important step in my thinking process for the paintings. Then we can use a reference from a real object or photograph. Normally I prefer to use the real object as a reference but using photos as reference can give you different perspectives for the same objects. Finally, I can add my imaginative feelings to every painting of mine.

JY: Do you have any preferred brand of colors, brushes and drawing paper?

SH: For painting equipment, it depends on the kind of work. I use many brands of water colors and brushes but I use two brands of paper. They are Arches and Fabriano.

JY: When are your next art exhibitions this year?

SH: In April – May I will go to exhibit my work in Russia, Italy, Switzerland and Turkey. In August I will be in China. In October I will exhibit my work on roses in Japan. In December 2015 there will be an art exhibition of the World Watercolor Society in Thailand.

* * *

There are many things that I am very certain about LaFe. I see his courage in the way he works. He encourages young artists who love watercolor painting. He also has a strong belief in a way of systematic working as he tries to convey his watercolor paradigm. Art is composed of the processes and independent ideas to convey satisfactory meanings and it has universal principles.

https://www.scene4.com/archivesqv6/2015/apr-2015/0415/janineyasovant0415.html

youtube

Sattha Homsawat (LaFe)

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marshmallowgoop · 7 years

Text

TRIGGER MAGAZINE: Kill la Kill Issues

Back when Kill la Kill was first airing, Studio Trigger sent out a weekly newsletter containing a production report from Higuchi, the script writer’s literary assistant, as well as commentary from Tatsuru/Tattun, Trigger’s PR specialist. Each newsletter also contained key frames and layouts from the show.

There was a newsletter devoted to each of the first 24 episodes of Kill la Kill, as well as one issue discussing the premiere. Compiled below is a list of these issues (Issues #000 - 025), complete with information about which episode the issue describes, production report highlights, and which key frames or layout drawings were included. All links to the magazine are courtesy of @triggermagazine.

If you would like to subscribe to the newsletter, you can do so by setting up an account at Trigger’s online shop here.

Please note: As these newsletters describe Kill la Kill, there is a tremendous amount of nudity and fanservice included. Please also be warned that there are depictions of sexual violence and harassment as well.

(All images in the magazine can be found here.)

TRIGGER MAGAZINE, Issue # 000, October 2, 2013

Prior to episode 1

Production report highlights: “I bet all of you are familiar, but “KILL la KILL” is produced by Hiroyuki Imaishi and Kazuki Nakashima, the duo from “Gurren Lagann.” With the staffs being close with each other, each and every staff meeting was filled with jokes and laughter. Each and every staff was really having fun! Despite the staffs horsing around at time, their boldness to create what they truly enjoy, and not catering to the popular trend is something I admire. “KILL la KILL” definitely reflects on the creators passion, and it just might be the punch Japan needs in this laid back times.”

Included key frames/layout: Ryuko holding the Scissor Blade when she first meets Satsuki

TRIGGER MAGAZINE, Issue # 001, October 8, 2013

Episode 1

Production report highlights: “KILL la KILL is a very distinct series, and I think we can agree that the talking sailor uniform got everyone’s attention. To those who are familiar with very old anime series and I mean “really” old series might have caught on to the similarities with Dokonjo Gaeru [Gutsy Frog]. Yes, KILL la KILL is influenced heavily by anime from the Showa period. Other series such as Sakigake!! Otokojuku [Charge!! Men’s Private School], Harisu no Kaze [Harris’s Whirlwind], and other major titles from the Showa period was brought to topic numerous time in the production meeting as well. However, just because the resource is from the Showa period, it does not mean that it will just be a reproduction. With modern techniques and talent worked in, it creates a whole new style of animation. So please stay tuned with KILL la KILL! You won’t be disappointed!”

Included key frames/layout: Senketsu and Ryuko’s first meeting, Ryuko/Senketsu vs. Fukuroda

TRIGGER MAGAZINE, Issue # 003, October 16, 2013

Episode 2

Production report highlights: “Whenever I watch KILL la KILL, it reminds me of this specific act from Mr. Nakashima’s theatrical play Hana no Kurenai Tengu [Renaissance of the Scarlet Phantom]. This act also happens to be Mr. Imaishi’s favorite, and the title is “I will take the path I trust. Vigorously, even if there are no roads.” I feel that this phrase is the intersection between Mr. Imaishi and Mr. Nakashima. Just as their creators are, every character in KILL la KILL share the same unfaltering courage to stay bold with their beliefs. The story is full with passion but so is the character!”

Included key frames/layout: Satsuki and Bakuzan, Ryuko collapsed from blood loss, Aikuro stripping, Aikuro taking Ryuko’s blood

TRIGGER MAGAZINE, Issue # 004, October 22, 2013

Episode 3

Production report highlights: “Some of you may already know, but KILL la KILL was originally planned to become the typical monster/villain of the week style of anime. The first time I attended the staff meeting was a year and a half before the airing of KILL la KILL started. And, that just happened to be the time when the staff decided to throw that style of composition out. With the static format gone, the weekly meeting became even more hectic, and it was almost impossible to keep up with the conversation if I were to take even one week off.”

Included key frames/layout: Baby Satsuki, Satsuki in Junketsu, Ryuko/Senketsu vs. Satsuki/Junketsu, Mako in pajamas, Ryuko and Senketsu trying to work together

TRIGGER MAGAZINE, Issue # 005, October 29, 2013

Episode 4

Production report highlights: “It may be a surprise but all of the KILL la KILL episode titles come from popular Showa Japanese songs! Mr. Nakashima carefully picked out the most fitting song title for each episode, taking in the artist and the lyrics itself into account. The main staff would gather early to a meeting and listen to these songs to further discuss about the episode the individual songs were bound to. Believe it or not, these song titles were taken into account from a very early stage of production. To those who are familiar, the song title will feel nostalgic. To those who aren’t, the title should definitely leave a strong impression.”

Included key frames/layout: Guts and Senketsu, Mankanshoku boys leering at Ryuko, Maiko kicking Guts, Ryuko panty shot, Ryuko embarrassed by pajamas

TRIGGER MAGAZINE, Issue # 006, November 6, 2013

Episode 5

Production report highlights: “How did everyone enjoy the 5th episode? Pretty hardboiled compared to the previous episode, right? A lot of people probably noticed the difference in the script. To reveal the secret, the scripts for episode four and five is actually not done by Mr. Nakashima. Episode four is done by the creative officer Hiromi Wakabayashi, and episode five is done by Hiroshi Seko! It’s quite the surprise how the script can affect the tone of the work so much! Each and every staff has their own taste, for example Mr. Wakabayashi always manages to come up with the most playful ideas and Mr. Seko favors a hardboiled stories. To top it all off, Mr. Nakashima somehow manages to get more pumped up in the script meeting than the actual characters in KILL la KILL! It’s really interesting to see how their taste reflects so much to the different episodes. Although all of the scripts will be done by Mr. Nakashima from episode 6, it may be interesting to re-watch the previous episodes with the individual script writers in mind.”

“One of the bigger surprise to us is the unexpected support we are receiving from oversea. KILL la KILL has little sprinkles of taste from the showa period, and we were worried if it would even appeal to the audience here in Japan at first. Regardless of the reason, it really feels nice to know that we have a supporting fan base even oversea.”

Included key frames/layout: Tsumugu smoking, Mako speech (“Up until now, the only friends I had were in my head!”), Nonon conducting, two more Mako speech frames

This issue also includes a fanart piece done by @belindraw!

TRIGGER MAGAZINE, Issue # 007, November 11, 2013

Episode 6

Production report highlights: “…this episode was our first chance to get in touch with the Elite Four’s past. Not only does this episode function as a turning point for Sanageyama, it is also a vital episode for the other Elites Four as well. According to Mr. Nakashima, the scene where Sanageyama encounters Satsuki and the other three at North Kanto wasteland was the key factor to determine the individual characters personality. I guess if you observe carefully, you can get an idea of who met Satsuki first, and what kind of relation they have. It’s amazing how a single short scene is sufficient enough to provide the characters with their depths!”

Included key frames/layout:/layout Uzu’s Blade Regalia, Uzu’s defeat, Mataro, Mataro’s photos of Ryuko, Ryuko/Senketsu (during their fight against Uzu), Ragyo’s first appearance

TRIGGER MAGAZINE, Issue # 008, November 19, 2013

Episode 7

Production report highlights: “Every week Mr. Toshihiko [Senketsu] wraps up the recording session with his narration for the preview. Mr. Toshihiko is precise to the second with his script and does not fail to impress Mr. Imaishi and Mr. Nakashima. A round of applause from the director’s booth is not a rare sight when it comes to KILL la KILL’s recording session. Did I mention that the preview covers more than just an advance showing of the next episode? The extended 30 second preview (available to view online) contains exclusive information from time to time as well!”

Included key frames/layout: Satsuki, Satsuki (during one of her “pigs in human clothing” speeches), Mankanshokus and Ryuko hug, Mako in her Goku uniform, the golden bust statue of Barazo, Mako in Fight Club

TRIGGER MAGAZINE, Issue # 009, November 26, 2013

Episode 8

Production report highlights: “The idea of Naturals Election originated in one of the scenario meetings when Mr. Nakashima decided to throw out the original idea of 党首頂上決戦 and decided to play with words and went with 塔首頂上決戦. (The two kanji 党 and 塔 is pronounced the same with a different meaning. 塔 resembles tower or a pillar while 党 resembles a political faction or a party.) Mr. Imaishi quickly replied by drawing a sketch of an arena placed on top of a large tower. The teamwork between the two is simply amazing! Mr. Imaishi manages to pick up all of Mr. Nakashima’s idea! Watching the two create such an amazing piece of work out of almost nothing but paper and pencil is truly a magnificent sight to observe.”

Included key frames/layout: Ira, Ira in car, Ryuko/Senketsu, Satsuki, little Ryuko, Nonon

TRIGGER MAGAZINE, Issue # 010, December 4, 2013

Episode 9

Production report highlights: “While the characters of KILL la KILL are distinct, the production of the series is also very distinct. For many animation series, the personality and the orientation of the characters are determined in the plot/script meeting. The designs of the individual characters are then determined in the visual design meeting. It’s normal to think that the characters are developed along with the plot. Surprisingly, there has been few occasions where that was not the case in KILL la KILL. Mr. Nakashima will at times like the character design so much, he would go through the trouble to rewrite the already made script to accommodate for the character. Even in the recording session, Mr. Nakashima has changed the character’s line in order to better match the actor’s voice. This flexibility in production is truly distinct for animation production, and I believe it is one of the many reasons that makes KILL la KILL such a wonderful series.”

Included key frames/layout: Ira’s Scourge Regalia, Ryuko/Senketsu vs. Ira, Mako nosebleed, Ryuko/Senketsu hanging from stage

TRIGGER MAGAZINE, Issue # 011, December 13, 2013

Episode 10

Production report highlights: “I bet many of you are already hooked to the KILL la KILL tunes already, but the BGM to our series is really powerful! Many of the characters like Satsuki would just sound like a lunatic if we were to listen to them without the BGM. What makes Satsuki’s tyrannical speech sound convincing is definitely due to the help of Mr. Sawano’s BGM. Once the sound track is released it may be interesting to review the previous episodes again.”

Included key frames/layout: Nonon’s Symphony Regalia, Houka’s Probe Regalia, Nonon wink, Nonon transformation, little Nonon, little Nonon and Satsuki

TRIGGER MAGAZINE, Issue # 012, December 17, 2013

Episode 11

Production report highlights: “One of the more popular gossips I hear amongst the animator in the studio is how hard it is to draw Mako. She’s cute, yet crazy in the mind. She’s crazy yet she somehow manages to be charming. Even trying to express her verbally is difficult! It really does surprises me how the crew manages to pull off such a crazy character. Mako is also the reason why KILL la KILL had to be written mostly by Mr. Nakashima. The original plan was to have multiple scriptwriters, but her wild personality proved to be too much for outside scriptwriters to handle. Mako is hard to draw for the animators; her personality is way over the top, yet something about her sounds very natural. Why is that? What could possibly make her insane nonsense sound so convincing? Yes, it must be due to the acting done by Ms. Suzaki! She even looks like Mako with her new haircut! Now, I’ve yet to confirm this myself but according to the rumors, even her personality seems to be identical to Mako! I have come to the conclusion that Mako as a character is only made possible due to the love and care of all of the staffs involved in this series!”

Included key frames/layout: Nonon’s defeat, Ryuko/Senketsu (during the Nonon fight), Satsuki telling Uzu to get away from Nui, Nui, Rei, Ryuko/Senketsu (during the Nonon fight), Sukuyo

TRIGGER MAGAZINE, Issue # 013, December 25, 2013

Episode 12

Production report highlights: “We had Nui, Ragyou, and Hououmaru introduced in this episode, and they all have a powerful personality! But, something about these characters felt awkwardly masculine. Come to think of it, that applies to almost all of the female characters in KILL la KILL. A good amount of the characters in this series are female, but it feels as if this series is compiled of just male characters. According to Mr. Nakashima, this is not due to the fact that the characters in KILL la KILL possess a manly personality. It is because the supposed female characters are simply males “packaged” in female bodies. Although the characters gestures and reaction is very feminine, their behavioral principle is the one of a male personality. Mr. Nakashima says that he has intentionally designed his characters in this way. While having the cuteness of the girls, the characters possess the wildness to stir the story and the hook the viewer’s attention at the same time.”

Included key frames/layout: Satsuki vs. berserk!Ryuko/Senketsu, Tsumugu shooting, Nui flashback (with two eyes), Satsuki preparing to kill berserk!Ryuko/Senketsu, Satsuki striking berserk!Ryuko/Senketsu

TRIGGER MAGAZINE, Issue # 014, January 16, 2014

Episode 13

Production report highlights: “With the story entering the second half, the recording booth is also becoming more and more crowded with actors. But that doesn’t stop the voice actors from having loads of fun! The recording session never fails to surprise me. For instance Ms. Koshimizu and Ms. Yuzuki would be having a pleasant conversation one moment, but as soon as the recording lamp lights up, the two would become hostile at each other as their given role as Ryuko and Satsuki. The booth that was filled with laughter is immediately transformed into a stern mood with shouting and yelling. How fast the actors are able to snap into their role amazes me every time, and the whole experience truly feels like a stage play.”

Included key frames/layout: Nui, Ragyo, Satsuki, “the bald dudes from the REVOCS business meeting”

TRIGGER MAGAZINE, Issue # 015, January 21, 2014

Episode 14

Production report highlights: “How is everyone enjoying KILL la KILL’s stereotypical image of Kansai? If episode 4 was Mr. Imaishi’s free ticket to do whatever he wishes to do, Mr. Nakashima says episode 14 was his turn to do so! A lot of new characters were introduced in this week’s episode, but the most impressive out of the bunch is Kaneo Takarada without doubt! It seems like Kaneo has some feud going on with Satsuki, but what’s really amazing is the person inside the character! Mr. Awane who does the voice for Kaneo Takarada isn’t actually a professional voice actor, but a stage actor from Mr. Nakashima’s theatrical team Shinkansen! Mr. Nakashima and Mr. Awane have been working together for about 30 years, and the recording session really reflected that. Some of our subscriber may already know, but Ms. Shintani who does the voice for Nonon also comes from a theatrical team Nylon 100 Degrees Celsius. According to Mr. Imaishi, stage actors take a very different approach when acting their characters. That difference from normal voice actors may also be one of the many factors that give KILL la KILL such a distinct taste!”

Included key frames/layout: Ryuko without Senketsu, Mako in Osaka, tracksuit Nonon, Nonon with band member, three Takarada frames

TRIGGER MAGAZINE, Issue # 016, January 29, 2014

Episode 15

Production report highlights: “According to the plot meeting, many stage performers call the cliff hanger scene “The end of the first act.” If KILL la KILL were to be a play, episode 15 would apply to the end of the first act. I have also made a comment to Mr. Nakashima that excluding Mako and Nonon, all of the characters that support Ryuko and Satsuki are men! Mr. Nakashima says that he has intentionally positioned the male characters to assist the female lead. He says that situation is very similar to the first work he and Mr. Imaishi worked as a pair, Re: Cutey Honey. Male characters supporting a struggling female lead, Mr. Nakashima sure is a gentleman!”

Included key frames/layout: Nonon (with a “scorning look” expression, jitome), Uzu’s Blade Regalia MKIII, Nonon’s Symphony Regalia MKII, Ira’s Shackle Regalia MKII, Houka’s Probe Regalia MKII, Satsuki in Overridden Junketsu, Ryuko and Senketsu (Senketsu-Senjin), Ryuko/Senketsu vs. Satsuki/Junketsu

TRIGGER MAGAZINE, Issue # 018, February 5, 2014

Episode 16

Production report highlights: “The storyboard for episode 16 was done by Mr. Maeda Mahiro. Mr. Maeda has participated in many popular series such as Evangelion! Just a few days ago I had the honor to meet him in person, and was I surprised with how fashionable he was! This happens to remind me of the day I first met Mr. Nakashima as well. My first impression of Mr. Nakashima was oriented toward a father like person. I felt a considerable gap between his personality and the scripts he would write. After attending the KILL la KILL meeting for the first time, I saw Mr. Nakashima joyfully talk about his favorite past time manga and anime. That was the moment when I finally understood what kind of person Mr. Nakashima is. I also thought Mr. Imaishi to be a person with a bold personality since all of his works are so energetic and powerful. He actually turns out to be a lot different than what I imagined him to be. He turns out to be a really frank and kind hearted person. I have yet to see him without a smile on! There seems to be a considerable gap between the personality of the main staff and their creations. I guess the old saying “You can’t judge a book by the cover is ture!””

Included key frames/layout: Aikuro on the world, Ryuko embarrassed by Nudist Beach, Aikuro (before he goes “skinny diving”), Isshin, bath scene

TRIGGER MAGAZINE, Issue # 019, February 13, 2014

Episode 17

Production report highlights: “The first time I attended the audio recording session, I was surprised that the session is conducted with only 4 microphones. Within the recording booth, about 20 voice actors work by sharing the limited microphones with each other. Talk about sharing and caring, right? This is something you don’t get the chance to see at the movies or stage acting. However, according to Ms. Shintani (Nonon Jakuzure) some people do feel uncomfortable when a stage actor gets involved in the scene of animation for their first time. But, I personally thought that the 4 microphones added to the whole experience! Some of our subscriber may already know, but the Elite Fours’ voice actor show strong physical resemblance to the characters they act as. It really packs a punch when the four stand in front of the microphone! It almost feels as if the Elite Four are actually standing in front of me! I’ve also found out that the four get along quite well, and they often go out for a drink together. The actors support one another just as the Elite Four do so in the series. How wonderful, don’t you think?”

Included key frames/layout: Satsuki and her Elite Four, Shiro, Satsuki stabbing Ragyo (two images), Barazo’s “serious” face, Satsuki with tea, Aikuro (DTR!)

TRIGGER MAGAZINE, Issue # 020, February 19, 2014

Episode 18

Production report highlights: “According to the creators, KILL la KILL was intended to depict the characters in great depth! Because there are fewer characters than Guren Lagann, each and every character receives the necessary spotlight to display their personality and their beliefs in greater detail. Even then, there seems to be a lot of untold stories behind some of these characters. For those who are interested, this month’s issue of “Newtype” includes a short novel by Mr. Nakashima which covers the relation of Satsuki and the Elite Four. The BD/DVD also includes a drama CD which gives you the slice of life experience at the Honnouji Academy.”

Included key frames/layout: Ryuko/Senketsu vs. Nui (three images), Ira in his Shackle Regalia MKII, Ryuko/Senketsu and Satsuki, Rei

TRIGGER MAGAZINE, Issue # 021, February 26, 2014

Episode 19

Production report highlights: “It really amazes me on how much effort and passion is put into KILL la KILL by the creators! Just the other day meg rock, the lyrics writer for KILL la KILL’s opening attended the audio recording session. (I must say that she was quite adorable, not that it’s important or anything.) During the first half of the session, she was enjoying the recording just as if anyone would. However, during the 2nd half of the recording, I noticed that she was in tears. After the recording she explained to me that she was extremely touched by today’s session. I say this again and again, but KILL la KILL really is created by the love of each and every staff involved in the series.”

Included key frames/layout: Little Ryuko in Isshin’s study, Uzu’s gang and COVERS, Ira, Nui, Ira

TRIGGER MAGAZINE, Issue # 021, March 04, 2014

Episode 20

Production report highlights: “The recording session for the last episode has finally ended! Just as the session finished, I over heard Mr. Miki (va for Mikisugi) and Ms. Bak (va for Ragyo) commenting that the dialogues for KILL la KILL is very simple and pleasing to the mouth. According to Mr. Imaishi, he intentionally limited the dialogues to contain simple yet exhilarating phrases. His goal was to create a strong set of quotes by using simple vocabulary. Mr. Imaishi explains that it will leave a stronger impression to the viewer if they are familiar with the vocabulary. The simple dialogues also allows the voice actor to recite the line with passion without difficulties. I guess this is the secret to keep long dialogues sound interesting to the viewers!”

Included key frames/layout: Ryuko in Junketsu, Junketsu!Ryuko vs. Senketsu!Satsuki (two images), Nui coughing blood, Senketsu abandoned by Ryuko, Takarada salute

TRIGGER MAGAZINE, Issue # 022, March 13, 2014

Episode 21

Production report highlights: “Just yesterday, I was talking with Mr. Nakashima, and he explained to me that he was surprised that he was able to make episode 20 and 21 so rich in content. He explains, that it’s definitely not a plot to be handled in a 22 minute episode, but it’s obviously not impossible. There must be some contents that other series wouldn’t dare to exclude. We gave it a good thought, and concluded to the fact that the characters in KILL la KILL never stumble upon a mental conflict, or even troubled. A typical series will depict several characters going through mental distress. These issues are barely depicted in KILL la KILL. Most of the characters in KILL la KILL are bold and believe in their motives without doubt. I guess the creators of KILL la KILL can relate to that (laughs).”

Included key frames/layout: Opening scene, Junketsu!Ryuko holding up Senketsu!Satsuki, Nudist Beach!Satsuki vs. Nui, Ryuko removing Junketsu (three images)

TRIGGER MAGAZINE, Issue # 023, March 18, 2014

Episode 22

Production report highlights: “When Mr.Nakashima writes his scripts, he occasionally has an episode where his characters would start a conversation against his will. Mr. Nakashima explains that from their conversation, he is able pick up the overall plot of the story. The conversation between Ryuko and Nui from episode 22 is a great example of this. Nui claims that she is sick of Ryuko ranting about “friends.” Ryuko then explains that the term “friends” come nowhere close to explaining her relationship with Senketsu and Mako, and that their relationship is something much greater and unexplainable. Mr. Nakashima explains that their conversation was what lead to the concept of KILL la KILL. Something unexplainable and ambiguous. Despite having such a creative production team, the person who held the answer to the series was Ryuko. It was at this point when I realized that Ryuko was indeed leading the series as the main character.”

Included key frames/layout: Ryuko and Senketsu come back together (two images), Ryuko blushing at Senketsu’s words, Tsumugu, Shiro, Mako in her Goku uniform

TRIGGER MAGAZINE, Issue # 024, March 27, 2014

Episode 23

Production report highlights: “KILL la KILL is of often compared to the composition of a manga due to their similarities. The series introduces new interesting ideas to the latest episode without hesitation. KILL la KILL is truly living in the moment. Only downside is that we are continuously tested to top or previous episode. This may be the reason why each episode seems so climatic!”

Included key frames/layout: Group shot before the heroes enter the final battle, Satsuki, Ira’s final Shackle Regalia, Uzu’s final Blade Regalia, Houka’s final Probe Regalia, Nonon’s final Symphony Regalia

TRIGGER MAGAZINE, Issue # 025, April 4, 2014

Episode 24

Production report highlights: “Episode 24 has really taught me the values of nonsensical things. The world is beautiful because there are so many things that are beyond our comprehension. It is the result of countless threads of unknown factors woven together. KILL la KILL is a grand example of this. Each and every staffs feelings, their passion are aggregated into a canvas we know as KILL la KILL. I know I am not making much sense right now, but I felt the same way with our creators as well. They are all crazy and over the top! But, after being able to interact with some of our viewers, I realized that our fans are just as crazy as our creators.”

Included key frames/layout: Final group hug, Ryuko in Senketsu-Kisaragi (two images), Ryuko’s tears at Senketsu’s death, Ryuko and Senketsu in Senketsu’s last moments, Ryuko panty shot, date (three images: ice cream together, Satsuki with hat, Satsuki trying on a new outfit)

#kill la kill #trigger magazine #studio trigger #kazuki nakashima #hiroyuki imaishi

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jcllyhclly-blog · 5 years

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Unique version: Spirou et Fantasio. L'intégrale three (Dupuis, June, 2007) and Spirou et Fantasio. L'intégrale four (Dupuis, December, 2007) Nationwide version / Spain: Spirou and Fantasio Integral three. Franquin (1952-54) Dibbuks. November, 2018 and Spirou and Fantasio Integral four. Franquin (1954-56) Dibbuks. April, 2019 Script: André Franquin, Maurice Rosy Drawing: André Franquin, Will Colour: Leonardo Vittorio Format: Cardboard, 208 and 208 pages Worth: 29'50 € [19659002] “I’ve all the time stated that this animal has expertise that may by no means stop to amaze us …”

The gathering devoted to the Spirou and Fantasio collection of the good André Franquin edited by Dibbuks continues with agency tempo and good cruising velocity. The publishing home revealed the fourth quantity in April and it’s anticipated that in November the fifth quantity will probably be revealed. Thus far we have now the primary eleven albums of the unique assortment in addition to a number of brief tales. We’re in the midst of the stage devoted to the creator of Gaston Elgafe and for the second the whole lot is sweet information. Each for the tales included and for the standard of the version, we’re witnessing an genuine occasion that makes the studying of those volumes a festive and thrilling expertise.

The looks in our market of the third and fourth volumes means getting into absolutely within the basic interval of the gathering, when its writer André Franquin (1924-1997) handled the characters virtually with out assist and placing all their effort and expertise within the firm. In the course of the 1950s, most of the greatest lengthy tales on this collection have been revealed and a number of other of those adventures are included in volumes three and four of this complete assortment.

The tales included in these two volumes are:

Spirou and Fantasio Integral three:

The horn of the rhinoceros (1955) The dictator and the mushroom (1956) The masks (1956)

Spirou and Fantasio Integral four:

The lair of the brunette (1957) The tremendous Fast (1958) The pirates of silence (1958) The mine and the gorilla (1959)

Are dates of his first album publication within the Franco-Belgian market.

The writer has established in a strong and identifiable approach the universe the place the protagonists need to stay their vicissitudes. The state of affairs is completely delimited. On the one hand we’ve an enormous capital like Brussels, the place the 2 buddies stay, and on the opposite the small county of Champignac that represents the agricultural world. The secondary ones are luxurious; the Rely of Champignac, the squirrel Spip, the mayor of the city, seems a brand new competitor for Fantasio as is the journalist Secotine and above all is the Marsupilami that acquires a prominence so accused that in the long run the duo protagonist finally ends up turning into a trio

This little animal from the jungle of Palombia captures all of the scenes and is usually the important thing factor in unraveling probably the most difficult plot. To his superhuman power and his intelligence nothing animal, Franquin provides new virtues that we’ll uncover little by little, historical past after historical past, utilizing the useful resource of suspense masterfully. Besides in The Horn of the Rhinoceros, the Tremendous Fast and The Masks, the Marsupilami seems in all the opposite tales, being an indispensable component for every argument and buying a legendary character standing inside the universe of the Franco-Belgian comics.

Plots of those seven tales have two widespread denominators thriller and journey. The protagonists are concerned in several legal plots that search the illicit and speedy enrichment of their instigators. To stop them from triumphing, Spirou and Fantasio – with the invaluable assist of the Marsupilami – deploy all their expertise and energy, helped by the prodigious formulation devised by the inventor and Rely of Champignac or by the efforts of secondary luxurious like journalist Secotine or a detective with no identify however intelligence and weird braveness.

As within the case of the basic collection of the European comedian The Adventures of Tintin and The Adventures of Asterix, all of the tales of Spirou and Fantasio might be divided into two teams; these which might be situated in Belgium, extra city and with an argument nearer to the thriller or people who happen in unique nations with a extra adventurous plot. Of the primary group are: The masks, The lair of the brunette, The tremendous Fast and The pirates of silence and the second we’ve got: The horn of the rhinoceros – which participates within the two tendencies – The mine and the gorilla and The dictator and the champignon . Every story is exclusive and unrepeatable and regardless of how a lot they’ve been imitated endlessly they’ve the identical recent and thrilling air as once they have been launched.

The primary attraction of those two volumes is the truth that they will benefit from the inventive and narrative expertise of André Franquin in all its splendor. Though the primary historical past of those albums, The horn of the rhinoceros, may be thought-about because the final of the interval of settlement of the writer, it doesn’t cease having memorable moments just like the very lengthy sequence within the Galerías del Buen Bazar shops or the enjoyable and eventful chase via the previous city of Bab-El-Bled. Nevertheless, it’s within the quantity El dictator and champiñón the place Franquin shows all his expertise. This album opens with an exquisite sequence of ten pages the place the mixed motion of Rely Inventor and Marsupilami trigger chaos within the quiet village of Champignac. It’s an virtually silent sequence, made with a tremendous show of narrative assets and that permits us to get to know virtually all of the inhabitants of the city and its most emblematic locations. On this similar album highlights the scene of the dictator's speech that expresses in a graphic method what Franquin considered dictatorships and their leaders. The dictator and the champignon is the primary of an extended collection of masterpieces made by the Belgian artist on this collection.

Within the following album titled The Masks – and eighth within the assortment – we discover one other one among these memorable moments that outline this era. Particularly, it’s the sequence that takes place in the midst of a stage of the Tour de France. Right here we will respect the curiosity that André Franquin had for the world of sports activities. In earlier albums he included scenes of boxing or soccer and on this he provides us a tremendous, humorous and thrilling sketch the place Fantasio performs all types of stunts on a bicycle to complete profitable a stage of the Tour in a shocking approach. A prodigy of narrative artwork that has not but been overcome. An irregular album however with flashes of excessive degree. The interpretation of the title of the album – The masks – is an unlucky spoiler that has been maintained in successive editions. Probably the most right factor can be to title it The dangerous face.

The second masterpiece of this diptych is the lair of the brunette, one of the compact and balanced episodes of the collection the place the graphic work is completely linked to the plot however the place the Belgian artist provides us some underwater scenes of indescribable magnificence. The persecution of the thieves with the fantacopter and the invention of the sunken ship are a few of its stellar moments.

Lastly, to not bore you with an countless succession of nice moments, I might additionally like to spotlight the preliminary sequence of The Pirates of Silence; two virtually silent pages the place Franquin performs a tremendous follow-up monitoring to a frantic Marsupilami mysteriously engaged in a loopy race to succeed in an unknown vacation spot. Completely masterful. The album The Pirates of Silence additionally has the assistance of Maurice Rosy within the script and Will (Malta's Willie) within the backgrounds.

Each within the brief story The Tremendous Fast as within the extra in depth as The horn of the rhinoceros and The pirates of silence, we will take pleasure in one other of the passions of its creator; Automobiles. The deployment of actual and invented automobiles for the event is spectacular and their method of representing them in motion will create faculty.

The version by Dibbuks faithfully follows the one carried out within the earlier decade by Dupuis publishing home. The volumes are hardcover, properly printed and have a superb paper. One in every of its most important points of interest are the introductory articles that include loads of fascinating info, quite a few humorous anecdotes and a really engaging further graphic materials coming, usually, from the editorial magazines. The worth is cheap.

Afterward, in later volumes, we’ll discover different masterpieces corresponding to, for instance, The Prisoner of the 7 Buddhas or the diptych devoted to Zorglub, however in these two books that we now evaluate we will take pleasure in a little bit of the perfect that the Franco-Belgian comedian has produced in his lengthy and fertile profession. The stage of Spirou and Fantasio made by André Franquin is taken into account as a normal of the collection and as one of many highlights of the European comedian. With tales like these anybody who approaches the work for the primary time will perceive the rationale for such a status. The regulars of the collection are glad to have, lastly, an version on the peak of a lot expertise deployed. Let the get together proceed …

Different evaluations devoted to Franquin's complete assortment:

Spirou and Fantasio Integral 01 by Franquin (1946-1950)

Spirou and Fantasio Integral 02 by Franquin (1950-1952)

] Different evaluations devoted to the characters:

Spirou and Fantasio 55. The fury of the marsupilami

Spirou and Fantasio 54. A bellboy in Sniper Alley

Spirou and Fantasio Integral 19 of Tome and Janry (1992-1999)

The leopard lady. An journey of Spirou by …

Salut!

Spirou and Fantasio Integral. Franquin vols. three and four

2019-07-11

Tristan Cardona

Script – 10

Drawing – 9.5

Curiosity – 10

9.eight

Two indispensable volumes with a number of the greatest moments of the European comedian of all occasions

You fee: Be the primary one!

The post Spirou and Fantasio Integral. Franquin vols. 3 and 4 – Negative Zone appeared first on Reel Insight.

#André Franquin #BD #Cómic #Cómic europeo #Dibbuks #Editions Dupuis #Europeo #Movies #Reseñas #Spirou y Fantasio #Spirou y Fantasio Integral 03. Franquin. 1952-1954 #Spirou y Fantasio Integral 04. Franquin. 1954-1956

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fashiontrendin-blog · 6 years

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This tattoo artist reveals exactly why your tattoo doesn't need to have meaning

http://fashion-trendin.com/this-tattoo-artist-reveals-exactly-why-your-tattoo-doesnt-need-to-have-meaning/

This tattoo artist reveals exactly why your tattoo doesn't need to have meaning

Whenever people see my tattoos, they immediately ask what they mean. For the designs on my body that serve no specific purpose or have no other “meaning” besides I think that they look cool (like the skeleton on my ankle), I feel pressure to attach something sentimental to them. But it’s not necessary for tattoos to have a specific interpretation or symbolism in order to be significant to you. And even if it is insignificant to you, all that matters is that you chose to get it because you liked it and wanted it on your body.

After spending time with tattooer Mars Hobrecker in his studio nestled in the back of The Living Gallery, an event space and art gallery in Williamsburg, Brooklyn, I now feel more open to getting a tattoo that I didn’t spend months or years planning out, like the deer on the back of my arm that pays homage to a trip I took to Japan with my dad or the hand holding flowers on my inner arm that is a tribute to the women in my family.

Most of Hobrecker’s appointments are based on predrawn designs, which are known as “flash” in the tattoo community. His clients pick from the latest designs he’s drawn that are taped onto the pages of a photography magazine. Flipping through it, I noticed drawings of objects including everyday objects, like chairs and toothbrushes, and medical equipment, like a speculum, as well as people, both clothed and naked. At first, I was closed off to most of them, mostly because I was trying to connect something sentimental to each of them. The lady sitting in the chair didn’t have a vague resemblance to my grandma and the man hoisting a woman in the air didn’t resemble my ideal relationship.

Brooklyn Beckham is being shamed for his tattoos and we’re not here for it

Hobrecker was incredibly patient as I looked through the magazine-turned-flash-book dozens of time trying to pick something for him to ink onto my skin. He tells me what freaks him out the most is when people open the book and almost immediately point to a design they’d like. “I just feel like I could never be that decisive,” Hoebrecker tells me as I spot a Cruella de Vil-like a woman walking a gaggle of Dalmatians, a package of birth control pills, and a circus-performing couple. I find myself gravitating toward the nude sketches of people covered in colorful flowers, or “garden people,” as Hobrecker calls them.

Each design in the flash book demonstrates a striking between Hobrecker’s style and the many delicate flowers and tiny tattoos that flood Instagram feeds, and unlike the slim pin-up girls of traditional tattoo designs, Hobrecker has a refreshing take on representation in his work.

“People have lots of different types of bodies, so I should be drawing lots of different types of bodies,” he states matter-of-factly. “There’s such a huge range of bodies that come through the door to get tattooed, so I feel like my work should reflect that. I don’t want somebody to flip through and think none of these people look like me.”

Like me, most of Hobrecker’s clients take their time selecting what designs they want permanently etched into their bodies. They’ll flag a couple pages and discuss their top three picks with the tattooer, and some even settle on one completely at random. “I feel like that’s actually a great method because even if you pick the one you like less, you immediately know you like the other one more,” he says. “If you have that sink in your stomach, like, ‘Oh I was hoping for the other one,’ then you know that’s the real choice.”

I find way more meaning in taking a moment to sit with my body and think about my relationship with it.

If you ask Hobrecker, determining whether or not the image “means” something to you should be secondary. Instead, he believes a tattoo’s significance could be found in the tattooing process itself. “I find way more meaning in taking a moment to sit with my body, think about my relationship with it, and have that hour or two where you’re really forced to think about yourself and have this very physical sensation associated with that,” he explains. “For me, that holds way more meaning than a rose that you get for your mom.”

Becoming a tattooer

Although Hobrecker set up shop in The Living Gallery in December 2016, he’s unsure of when he officially became a tattooer, mostly because it wasn’t a career goal of his. (Note: Hobrecker never refers to himself as a “tattoo artist,” which stems from feeling like tattooing isn’t an art practice.)

About three years ago, 25-year-old Hobrecker graduated from school for photography but realized he didn’t want to take photos anymore. Selling his camera equipment and buying a tattoo machine became his next option. At the age of 16, giving “horrible” stick and pokes with sewing needles to his friends and friends of friends became one of his regular extracurricular activities. From this, tattooing became less about the art of it to him, but more about helping people assert control over their bodies. As a trans man, this discovery was crucial to Hobrecker.

“When I was younger, I was always very involved in queer and trans communities,” he says. “The people I was surrounding myself with, myself included, didn’t feel super at home in our bodies.”

My first tattoo was a very permanent reminder of the ownership I had over my own body.

“I can’t speak my mind because I’m a black transgender woman,” says Munroe Bergdorf in her most candid interview ever

In Hobrecker’s case, he didn’t feel like he had control over his body when he was younger either, having attended an all-girls Catholic school where he was required to wear a uniform and barred from dyeing his hair. In this controlled environment, all Hobrecker could do was get a tattoo in secret when he was 18. “That was something that couldn’t be taken away from me,” he says. “That was a very permanent reminder for me of the ownership I had over my own body.”

With his background in stick and pokes, Hobrecker figured a machine would be a faster way to tattoo. Once he had one, he taught himself how to tattoo via the Internet, learning about different machines and needles. Typically, this kind of information is accessed through traditional apprenticeships in tattoo shops. Hobrecker mostly circumvented this by tapping Instagram’s “weird” tattoo community, which he declares is “entirely noncompetitive.” In fact, most of Hobrecker’s tattoos, which add up to about 50, are trades from other tattooers.

Hobrecker explains that, oftentimes, tattoo artists share information with each other, too. “It feels really supportive, and I think that’s because a lot us did come into tattooing through nontraditional means,” he explains. “Tattooing has had a lot of gatekeeping in the ways that people are allowed to learn and access to information, but now there’s a wonderful community of people who snuck in through the back door and are really supportive of one another because we all kind of went about it the same way.”

The tattoo community feels really supportive, and I think that’s because a lot of us came into it through nontraditional means.

These delicate finger tattoo designs are perfect for first-timers

Because he doesn’t consider himself an illustrator and doesn’t draw unless it’s for a tattoo design, Hobrecker’s distinct style developed as he learned to tattoo, too. He read that you needed separate needles for lines and shading, and this influx of information was so confusing to him that he decided to skip shading altogether and focus on lines. “That’s why I draw like this,” he says. “It was really an entirely practical decision.”

Sourcing his designs

Somewhere on Pinterest, Hobrecker keeps a board filled with more 200 photos he plans to use as references for drawings. As the earlier mentions of medical paraphernalia might suggest, he gravitates towards medical imagery. “Even the [designs] that don’t look like they were from old medical texts are,” he says. This comes as a surprise when he later tells me he’s had a largely negative experience with medicine, due to “going through transgender help and as someone who has really severe chronic pain — both things that doctors don’t really like to believe people have because they’re not necessarily visual.”

He also draws inspiration extensively from sideshow and circus history. When he sees these pictures from the past, “I look at them and think this looks like me and my friends,” he says. “It was a lot of trans people and a lot of disabled people with nontraditional bodies, so I feel like I relate.” However, he’s very careful about which images he pulls from because of the controversial history of sideshows and circuses. “I don’t need to profit off of someone’s images who has already been used in that way for centuries,” he says.

Due to time restrictions, I wasn’t able to add one of Hobrecker’s flash designs to my tattoo collection. I browsed the book so much while talking to him that I basically memorized it, but once an image of a sitting garden woman called out to me, our interview was coming to an end. (I now know I truly wanted her because I saw on Hobrecker’s Instagram that someone else recently picked her out, and a pang of jealousy hit me.) Talking to Hoebreker nevertheless offered a different type of permanent change for me, though.

Next time I visit Hobrecker’s studio, I’m more likely to select something randomly than when I first went there. This specific part of our conversation will pop in my head when I thumb through his flash book once again: “I think that the image can just be something that’s fun, something that you vibe with. The meaning can be much more in making a commitment to a permanent change to yourself.”

Want more inspiration? Here are our favourite tattoo ideas from Instagram:

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