#my braincells are on strike right now

[goldenlaurelleaveswrites]

@19thsentry-blog tagged me for this little gem

Rules: Pick any 10 of your fics, scroll somewhere to the midpoint, pick a line (or a few), and share it! Then tag people! 

A big thank you to Nat & Quick & Haphira for helping me pick which ones I should do for this  💖 (seriously, my brain is completely fried after the day I had at work).

@haphira @mintaka14 @verfound Tag, you’re it! 😘

And since it’s December, we’ll start with the festive ones! (Under the cut to spare you all from scrolling unless you want to actually read it 😂)

December Dreams

She had been ecstatic upon first seeing the tree- every lot she and Luka had tried the previous week had been completely sold out.

When he had admitted to driving all the way to Belgium just to get a tree… she had been brought to tears.

Trying to get the tree set up had also brought her to tears. Luka had said he had measured, but he was still a Couffaine. They had managed to get it to fit in the end, even if it was just barely. Though they had had to chop off quite a bit off the base of the trunk.

‘Twas the Night Before Fang-mas

He nuzzled their ankles, then retreated back to the living room. He made his way over to the curtains and wiggled into the space he had made for himself. Once he was fully behind them, he stuck his head out from under them so that he would be able to see the fireplace.

He wouldn’t be having any sweet dreams tonight.

Because he was going to see Santa. He just knew it.

The Big Day

Over the past few months, he had learned a great deal about flowers. There were lots of different types of flowers; some were meant to sit in jugs on tables to block people from each other’s view, some were meant to be carried around, and some were meant to be left on the floor for people to walk on. He had learned so much about flowers in fact, that some might even call him an expert.

And as flower girl, his first job was to make sure there were enough flowers for Marinette to walk on.

Camping With the Couffaines

She offered him a sympathetic smile. “In a few days, you won’t be able to tell!” He didn’t look very convinced. “I can kiss it better if you want?”

“Yeah. Maybe that will make it grow back faster.”

She ignored Juleka’s gagging as she peppered his face and head with kisses.

“Don’t mind me, I’ll just put out this fire while you kiss my idiot brother,” Juleka grumbled.

The Weight of the Mask 

She could feel her cheeks growing warm as she scrambled to clean herself up.

“You’ve got something- right there.” She furiously wiped at her face as his face crinkled in mirth. “No, it’s right there,” he gestured to his own chin, to show her where it was. But it was no good. “Here, let me.” His thumb swiped along her chin, getting the last dribble of strawberry, leaving a growing warmth in its wake.

Her cheeks burst into flames.

All it Takes to Grow 

She snapped her attention up, glancing towards the source of the sound. Luka was sprawled in one of his chairs. A battered briefcase sat by his feet, and he was poking at the soil in the pot.

“Long day?”

“Yeah,” he groaned, offering her a smile before screwing his face up in distaste. He pulled a water bottle out of the briefcase and slowly poured some into the pot.

She couldn’t help but roll her eyes. “I don’t think watering it is going to do much.”

“Oh?” He quirked a brow and gave her a boyish grin as he put the cap back on the bottle. “Why’s that?”

She shrugged, shaking her head as she laughed. “Somehow, I don’t think it’s going to grow into much.”

“Well,” he shrugged as well, his smile softening, “give it time. Who knows what will grow given the right care.” She snorted as politely as she could, and he laughed. “I haven’t seen you around much the past couple of days.”

Chords and Courtship

“Luka?” He blinked. Kaalki was staring at him expectantly, with a knowing smile on her face and a glimmer in her eyes. “Perhaps we should try this one.” She closed her fan and let it rest gently against her lips.

He wracked his brain. He knew this one. He knew he knew it! He furrowed his brows, willing the answer to come to mind as he stared at the fan, with its handle just grazing her lips. Her lips…

“Kiss me!”

“I’m afraid I will have to object to that.” He jumped at the sound of Sass’s voice.

Songs, Snowballs, and Storms

He laughed as she took another stumbling glide forwards. “It’ll get easier, I promise! Here,” he said, turning and pulling ahead to face her. He took her tiny hands in his, “I’ll help you.”

“Show off,” she mumbled as he skated backward, pulling her along with him. But she was smiling as she said it.

“Only for you.” He chuckled at the bright pink flush that bloomed in her face. It was something she always seemed so embarrassed of, but he loved the way her cheeks turned rosy at even the slightest compliment, the way she wore her heart on her sleeve. So he took it upon himself to compliment her as often as he could.

Count Me In

And then, Juleka had managed to coax the Marinette into a casual conversation, and he had been absolutely beyond help.

Because Marinette was clever and funny, and she was incredibly kind and so amazing and miles out of his league.

She would have been out of his league even if he wasn’t the idiot that had spammed her phone with gifs of the Count.

But he was that idiot.

And Juleka didn’t seem in any hurry to let him forget it.

Juleka vs. the Forces of the Universe 

“Luka! Juleka!” They both turned at the sound of their names being called. Aimee was waving at them from in front of the bakery. She had a camera bag around her neck, a tripod slung across her back, and two large duffle bags at her feet. “Great, I was worried I was too early.”

“Aimee? What are you doing here?”

“I’m here to take the pictures, silly.”

“Pictures? What pictures?”

“For the photoshoot, duh.”

“Photoshoot?” He rounded on her, staring hard at her. “Jules, what is going on?”

She smiled as innocently as she could. Over Luka’s shoulder, she could see Aimee cracking up. “Marinette needs to post photos of her new stuff for her insta and website. We’re going to model for her. Now come on, we don’t want to keep Marinette waiting. Do we?”

#these are all lukanette #even if it's just in the background #so you know what #gonna tag it as #pro lukamari #endgame lukanette #i hope i chose interesting parts #my braincells are on strike right now #so here's hoping there's at least a couple fun nuggets in there for all of you

[hwaightme]

Cat named Mars (catboy!hwa hcs)

(masterlist) (perma-taglist)

😻 pairing: catboy!seonghwa x gn!reader 😻 genre: headcanons, fluff, crack, demon? to cat? to roommate? to lover? 😻 summary: the longest bulletpoints about what it would be like to have catboy!hwa as your bf - the whole story 😻 wordcount: 4.5k 😻 warnings/tags: editing? who is she, unhinged crack part nyah, catboy!hwa, cute catboy!hwa, soft and polite catboy!hwa- okay i will stop |, language, food/eating, mention of others not treating animals well, sweater paws, mention of adorable nerdy hobbies, domestic, cuddle, a surprise about how hwa ended up being a cat in the first place, both past and present tense used, mainly lowercase 😻 taglist: at the bottom of the fic~ 😻 a/n: let me drift in the soft and fluffy catboy!hwa lands until waterbomb strikes, for my own healing; my braincells are out of service but i hope you enjoy <3 all reblogs, thoughts and notes appreciated! big hugs!

once upon a time he was a cat

there was never a moment to think about anything except work, and maybe about groceries and bills (but even those things normally hit you at two o'clock in the morning, leading you to check your phone and make make amendments to your schedule in a panicked state). there was never any room for a cat. until there was.

of course there just had to be an adorable kitty, at most maybe a couple of years old, lean and with jet black fur that was surprisingly shiny for an abandoned cat, sitting square in the middle of a cardboard box on the side of the street that formed a part of your regular path and commute to and from work. in the morning, you had locked eyes with the cat, heart bleeding and hurting for the poor creature but secretly hoping that someone else would take it - you couldn't take care of it, could you? in the evening, you were huffing and puffing with the cardboard box in your hands and the cat happily meowing, its tail stretched out upwards into a chimney pipe, slightly tilted to the side at the very end. you read somewhere that it meant the cat was happy, so you were going to take that as a good sign.

sat on the floor at the entrance to your apartment, you eyed the beautiful creature as it kept on purring and trying to hop out of the box and towards you, while you were insistent on keeping it in, lifting a cardboard flap repeatedly in an effort to prevent it from jumping. so. now you had a cat. there was nothing in the box, and on the outside, in horrific scrawl was a message suggesting whoever took the kitty either "kept him, or throw him away, whatever". non-humans. "that's who your previous owners were, right kitty?" you mumbled to no one in particular, but it seemed that the cat picked up on your speech and inched closer to you, ears moving like disks to pick up signals. "so you are a he, yeah?" a meow. so you were right. at least the beasts from this cat's past got one thing right. "do you have a name? actually… you know what do you want a… new name?" you were fast on the attachment scale, you realised. it had been barely a few minutes and you were already trying to name the cat who you had not even checked for diseases, nor had any basic facilities to take care of him. but he was more than excited by the prospect, and mewled in what sounded like gratitude. you began to list off names, eventually boring the kitty, and he started to falter in his enthusiasm. all until one name rang a bell.

"Mars?"

and that was how you ended up with a black cat named Mars.

by the power of actually having to shake paws with a cat, and you promising to get him quality snacks, you managed to get Mars checked at the vet who confirmed everything was fine, and was equally as amazed as you that he was so well groomed and neat. while you knew you did not have much of a right to do this, your inner pride still swelled and, to yourself, you said that 'yes, my Mars is really neat and handsome'.

you took to addressing Mars as 'your handsome boy' and that seemed to wake him up and get him speeding towards you faster than anything else could. also 'the prettiest star' and 'my universe' and 'marvellous Mars' all worked wonders.

at the same time, he was shy, as if he did not want to disturb you with his antics. always tip-toeing around you as silently as a cat could (which was very silent, to the point where he jumpscared you a couple of times but that is okay because excuse me did you see his precious face????) and never taking up much space, even though… hello? Mars? you are a cat?? he would rarely ever hop on any surfaces unless you explicitly told him to do so - this had left you convinced that your cat was well-versed in human-speak. he never meowed for food until you had told him to vocalise and tell you if he was very hungry, and gave him a rundown of his eating schedule and how it was important that he drank water. he was the politest cat you had ever met, while at the same time his timidness made you wonder if you were in any way intimidating. not once did Mars ever enter your bedroom, even though you left the door wide open for him, preferring to crash on the couch or on the floor of some other room. the first couple of times you joked about it saying "are you scared you'll see something, Marsy?" but when your cat actually looked away and hunched over, you were convinced that you hit the nail on the head, and that you were probably either hallucinating or were slowly turning into Doctor Dolittle.

but you were persistent. and insistent. and you took the little blanket with kuromi decor on it from him (yes this was that extreme of a situation) and put it at the edge of your bed. climbing in and covering yourself in the many layers, you looked at the terrified figure hovering at the entrance to the room, boba eyes as wide as saucers. he kept on looking at the blanket, then at you, then again at the blanket, then again at you, probably wondering if he could snatch the thing and make a run for it. you were on the verge of giving up at this point. sleepy, with work tomorrow, you were not about to engage in a whole war with your cat.

"you know what, if you want to stay, you can stay. i promise i will not hurt you, nor will i push you out. if you want to come closer, do. if you just want to take the blanket and leave, you can do that. your choice. i won't be hurt. i promise. you are already super brave and i love you either way. okay, Mars?" he did not respond, frozen in place. "my handsome boy?" his head twisted towards you. "precious?" a blink. another blink. one paw in front of the other. "are you actua- wow! I am so proud of you my baby! my brave boy!" you were cooing praises at him like there was nothing else in the world that existed as soon as he hopped onto the bed, foregoing the blanket and making a beeline towards your face, as though that was his read source of comfort. he was afraid to look away, focusing on your every expression as you patted his head and let him nuzzle into you. "you are so so brave, you know that? i know this is hard, so if at any point you want to leave, you can, okay?" purring louder than a powerdrill was the response you received. along with kitty cuddles through the whole night. because apparently, your cat was a koala all along.

and even in his cuddles he was gentle. you did not think you had ever seen him use his claws… ever. except maybe on a few toys but as soon as you were in sight poof gone, soft Mars activated. he was like your personal heater, careful to wrap himself closer to you not to push you out, but to instead complete whatever curled up position you were lying in. if you were stretched out to the side, he would find a place. if you were in a ball? he would find a place again. if you were lying down straight for whatever reason? give him a couple of nights to get comfortable, and now you had the ultimate cat comforter either on you, or around your head. and yes, you were blessed with a cat who barely shed, somehow. some of your friends who had cats almost cursed you when they found out, but you only smiled, looking at your lockscreen. nowadays, even during the workday you were thinking of Mars at least a little bit.

maybe you were spoiling him a little bit, but it was too adorable to see him watching you play legend of zelda or animal crossing on your nintendo switch. and when he saw that you got a gift from a friend in the form of a lego set? well. you were literally afraid to open the box because of how hyper your cat got - perhaps not today…

you fell into the most pleasant routines with Mars, from waking up and going to bed together, to eating breakfast and then 'parting ways' for you to attend to human business and him to his 'cat business'. it was cute. it made your head sing. you were happier than you had ever been. all thanks to that one random day. one random box. and one black haired kitty who radiated sunshine.

it was the eve of the one year anniversary of you being the proud owner of, or how you preferred to say it, the best friend of 'L/n Mars', and you were as sure as his ears were pointy in wanting to go all out with your celebration - minus the guests (because the last time you had invited a male friend of yours over your cat turned into a whole other creature and then sulked for at least three days until you took a day off work and called it 'Mars day', but you just assumed it was some territorial thing). you had set up little themed decorations, found a cute little headband with the number '1' that is suitable and safe for a cat and would not hurt his head, got a matching, human-sized one for yourself, made a whole dinner for your favourite kitty from scratch - the ingredients all checked with the vet who you now casually called by first name because you did not dare ever give Mars anything that might harm him and would rather panic call the doctor.

you were sat at the coffee table, so that it would be easier for Mars to reach the food (you set pillows on the floor for extra comfort, for which he thanked you with a loud meow), and had your respective mini-cakes set out in front of either of you. you had given up on making him ever eat kitty food - another peculiar quirk of your cat, so the 'cake', which was more a protein gift than anything, was fully home made. but Mars was happy. more than happy. if cats could smile, that was exactly what he was doing, right at you, squinting his eyes, threatening to hop over the table. you told him to wait, and quietly whispered your gratitude to him. much to your delight, he waited and listened, clinging onto every word.

"you know, i really think you are an angel. before you i was quite… how do i say this… life was just passing by. and now i look forward to it. and to be able to see you every day, to have fun days with you, to talk with you… all of that brings me so much joy and i hope that i can make you at least a little bit happy too. i wish you could tell me what you want, of course, but i really do think you know what i am thinking, what i am saying. and i hope that i am right in saying that i can understand you a bit too. you really are the smartest, most precious Mars. light of my life. i love you so much, my gorgeous, and here is to many years more, cheers~" you clinked your glass with orange juice with his water bowl, and giggled when he took a couple of neat laps to match with your gulps, only to lick his lips and hop off the pillows and go under the table.

in a matter of seconds, he reappeared at your side of the table, and poked at your lap with his paw, looking up at you with his bead-like eyes that seemed to contain the whole universe in them. you pat him between his ears, scratched under his chin, delighting him, and then stretched out your legs, gesturing towards your legs to signify that lap-napping season was open. Mars did not need to be told twice, and soon enough you had a black cat curled up on your lap, purring away, mewling a couple of times when you started eating to remind you that he was hungry too.

"so you want me to feed you now, too? aren't you cheeky-"

as if you could refuse him. you would be lying if you said you could. so there you were, on the floor and feeding Mars, quiet music playing from your phone, not quite sure if you could be any happier.

"i love you."

quite the contrast to what happened the next morning.

suddenly he is a catboy

when you wake up, Mars is nowhere in sight, and even when you call him, to which he would reply with at least a meow, you are only met with silence. you are alarmed, but wait in bed for just a little longer to see if Mars would come to you. nothing. you call again, 'pspspsps' him, all to no avail. only the breeze and the birds outside, along with inexplicable rustling from another room in your apartment. you raise an eyebrow and prop yourself up on your elbows. more rustling. a door opening, which sounds like the closet where you kept your warmer clothes. what is going on? another door closing. footsteps? you are on high alert. grabbing your phone and the light saber model which you had made a while back and kept safe by your bed, as it turned out exactly for this kind of moment, you head out to face whatever, or whoever is the source of the sound.

you are stealth itself, rounding the corner with weapon in hand, ready to face the attacker - or so you thought. until you come face to face with the tall, young man dressed head to toe in your clothing, namely a tracksuit that you had accidentally gotten in the wrong size and then somehow ended up being refunded for without returning the item, and a beanie that he had pulled over his head. spikes of jet black hair are poking from under the hat in all directions, and his deep brown eyes are widened in shock as he freezes on the spot and stares back at you.

"so, what the hell are you doing in my clothes?"

"y/n- i-"

"HOW DO YOU KNOW MY NAME?"

"i can explain-"

"nope do NOT get closer what-"

"Mars…. i…. it's me… your uh… cat."

"what?"

he looks embarrassed beyond belief, and crumbles to the floor, sliding until his back is against the wardrobe. wrapping his arms around his knees, he is scared to look up at you, worried that you would never recognise him, never accept him. this is exactly what he has been dreading all this time, and was heartbroken when the curse was finally broken, despite him technically being free now. he does not want to be away from you. this is his home. you are his home. you are the one who showed him true love.

"if it is okay… may i take this beanie off for a second?"

"i didn't even let you put it on in the first place," he winces. you feel a little bad, but hold your ground. his eyes sparkle in a way that is a little too familiar, reminding you of a certain someone. the cat who he mentioned. your precious cat. Mars.

"okay… here goes…" he slides the material off, making you gasp. hidden under the beanie is a pair of cat ears, fluffy, the same colour as his hair, and twitching as he adjusts after having flattened them to minimise their visibility.

"yo what."

"i have… a tail too."

"WHAT?"

he is not joking. a black tail to go with the black ears, sliding out from under the oversized hoodie. you are not sure what happened next, but you wake up on the sofa with the man, who you are now guessing is some human cat hybrid version of Mars fanning you with a magazine.

"I AM SORRY, Y/N PLEASE WAKE UP I AM SO- oh you are awake thank goodness i missed you i am really so sorry…" he drops the magazine almost instantly, leaning towards you and wrapping you in a warm embrace, much to your surprise. you yelp, but the softness, as well as his ears moving in the cutest way while he hugs you make you accept the gesture, and return it.

you never thought you would hear a grown man purr exactly like a cat, but here you are. well, you never thought you would have a catboy in your apartment either, but this is already happening so...

"so, Mars?"

"yeah?"

"you have some explaining to do."

after what turned out to be at least two hours of you and him going back and forth about what had unfolded and what was the history of the young catboy's state, you find out that, in reality, his name is Park Seonghwa, and that he is a demon, of all things. that is right, a demon. set out to curse and haunt and spread sin. but no, he is cast out of hell because he is too kind and soft. and so he had been cursed to be a cat, until for a full year, someone could give him their whole heart, their full love. while he explains this to you with a fondness unlike anything you had ever seen before in your life (except in what you perceived from cat Mars's eyes), you begin to blush, realising that all this time, you were talking to and confessing to him. Seonghwa. this handsome man who was always by your side and-

oh. and he was sleeping in the same bed as you. just great. you flush an even deeper shade and cover your face. and he had been jealous, not territorial, when your friend had come over.

"are you okay?"

"so okay."

"hug?"

"i, uh-"

"you give really good hugs."

"Park Seonghwa do you really want to make me suffer?"

"I AM SO SORRY ARE YOU HURT? DID I SAY SOMETHING WRONG I AM SO SORRY?!"

"no you are too cute. come here"

catboy!hwa headcanons

is initially cautious because well… you got used to him being a cat and now suddenly you have a whole man with cat ears and a tail walking around your house. he catches on to the fact that you are kind of shy around him too, but he does not push it, at least not straight away.

because that would mean that he has to get over his own shyness towards you extra quickly, and that proves to be difficult when it hits him that, well, he is now a person too, and you are a person, and he fell in love with you, and you told him you loved him before - on occasion he just walks around blushing with his ears pressed flat to his head but don't point it out he is already struggling ;~;

you might have to be the one to initiate the contact again because he is literally too scared to overstep anything and everything - even when you bought him his own first few sets of clothes as a 'human edition anniversary gift'. you approach him to give him a hug and he groups up as if he is about to dive into a pool, hands to his chest, eyes wide. but is he moving anywhere? no. does his purring give him away? yes. after that the two of you gently reintroduce physical touch and it makes you realise just how much you miss Mars, particularly because Seonghwa is still a little distant for understandable reasons. But you both are trying your best.

if you massage his head and scratch behind his hears he will melt - his favourite thing in the world is having his head rest on your lap with his eyes closed while you ruffle his hair really slowly and run your fingers through it.

desperately misses the times when you would call him handsome and pretty and smart, and every single affectionate word in the universe so he tries his damn hardest to get you to do that again, first by trying to be nice and helping you around the house, and when the results are not to his satisfaction and when cuddle sessions are pretty much the norm, but words of affection aren't… he pouts and openly asks you why you don't call him that anymore. you squeak the words out but the reaction makes every next attempt easier than anything.

he is scared to approach your room again, though, and this time you say nothing because well, this is a whole other territory. a couple of months pass before you consider and that is because you find him sleeping on the floor a couple of times, curled up with is tail covering his face a little, and he said it was because "he is scared otherwise and here is safe". so you take out a futon for now, but he is more than happy with this progress.

he learns how to cook both from you and from tutorials online, and then starts remembering what he used to cook a long time before - you basically stop cooking altogether because now he is insistent on waking you up with breakfast, packing you lunch and greeting you with dinner. he sometimes gets a bit too experimental, but you do not mind it too much because at least he cleans everything up.

you think you can ignore the lego in the corner of your living room? no :) it is a date now. a lego building date. for four hours straight. on the floor. him running this ship like you run your team at work. and his focus, his professional approach to the matter is a little too attractive, you admit to yourself. and somewhere along the way that translates into you planting a kiss on Hwa's cheek. this is the only time over the whole four hours that he drops the pieces he is holding in his hands, gazing at you, not quite sure if what he felt just now was real or not.

but nope, judging by your attempts to avoid his gaze this was very real. so he gets real bold real quick and guess who finds themselves trapped by two tones arms on either side of you, back on the floor, a curious and mischievous face a mere inch away? that's right, you. wants to build a starship, accidentally builds a relationship along with it - a major win.

there isn't ever a platonic stage really. an extensive awkward stage? sure. a roommates-maybe stage? sure. two people who like each other? sure. and now, after many months of you settling into a new routine, two people who love each other and keep telling each other that.

he finds a job that he can do remotely, and in this way remains mainly at home and around the neighbourhood with his beloved hobbies and balancing you out. in this way he now starts to sneak support to pay bills and to buy you little gifts (as a little apology for taking your clothes sometimes - read often)

it is not Hwa's fault that he misses you very quickly. it just happens. then one thing leads to another and he is lying on your shared bed hugging a hoodie of yours. eventually that leads to him dragging a couple more items out of your wardrobe and making a little nest out of them - only then does his worry go down and he goes for a nap while curled up in a ball.

when he knows that you should be arriving soon he starts walking up to the window, then away then back to the window, and away again. cycle repeats itself until he can spot you from a distance, and then he just stays by the window.

he helps you redecorate and rearrange your apartment, considering that you now have a 5'10'' human cat instead of one you can hold with two hands, and shocks you with just how many details he remembers about you, down to allergies, what colours irritate you when it comes to interiors, what plants you had to give away to keep him 'in cat form' safe - even though yes, he would not eat them, but how were you to know that?

he remembers all your special days, and hopes you remember his, too. thankfully, he knows his own birthday and using cat mathematics, converted from demon to cat to human. and so, now you can celebrate him wholeheartedly, only this time that also involves you taking him to go have a picnic under the cherry blossoms.

you and Seonghwa go to pick out and buy him a phone together, and you spend a whole day teaching him how to use it. soon enough your own phone goes off with notifications from him. he sends you fun things throughout the day and if he is busy, he sends you a selfie or a heartfelt message.

likes to curl up and read poetry with you. doesn't matter if out loud of in silence. what matters to him is that you are close. and good luck trying to get away - he has a tail and it is wrapped around your leg like an alert system so that he can tackle you right back to the couch or the bed. because it is you and Seonghwa time.

occasionally sings you lullabies that he either overheard somewhere or remembers, breaking into a smile when you wriggle closer to him and fall asleep, stress melting away from your every feature.

overall you are now living with a catboy Hwa cast out of hell for being too nice, who also turned out to be a big nerd, with heart eyes for you, sweater paws instead of actual paws, the occasional feline habits still coming through (like him rubbing his face against your shoulder, or your own face, or him hissing when frustrated or threatened, or him having the widest stretch in the morning, or… actually he is still part cat so, you have to deal with it), and all the love to give. thankfully not in the form of something he hunted. he buys birds at a store now. meant to be cooked. human-friendly.

he brings you a limited edition starship instead. if you display it he will look at you like he is falling in love with you all over again - if that is even possible because that would mean stopping loving you now, and that is the one thing he cannot do <3

😻 taglist: @acciocriativity @justhere4kpop @byuntrash101 @shakalakaboomboo @starillusion13 @hongthoven @cqndiedcherries @uwuheeseungie @cheollipop @frankenstein852 @charreddonuts @miriamxsworld @mingigoo @michel-angelhoe @innsomniacshinestar @foxinnie8 @preciouswoozi @wooyoungjpg @nebulousbookshelf @wowie-hockey @hongjoongs-patience @ssaboala @jaehunnyy @kitten4sannie @maddkitt @pocketjoong-reads @lightinyreads @ren-junwrld @burnmepls @pyeonghongrie-main @archivesummer @little-angel-k @marsstarxhwa

thank you for reading! if you enjoyed, please leave a kind reblog, much love!

#cromernet #kflixnet #k-labels #seonghwa x reader #seonghwa fluff #park seonghwa x reader #seonghwa x y/n #seonghwa x you #park seonghwa fluff #ateez #ateez fluff #seonghwa headcanons #park seonghwa headcanons #seonghwa scenarios #seonghwa imagines #ateez headcanons #ateez imagines #ateez scenarios #catboy!hwa #kpop writers #kpop writing #ateez x reader #meow

[sanjoongie]

Wet for a Villain

ღPairing: Song Mingi x Reader (f) ღGenre/ Au/ Trope: smut, villain au, enemies with benefits ღWord Count: 730 ღRating: +18 MDNI ღSummary: you're a detective in a city where a villain creates havoc for heroes and police alike... but you're fucking him?! ღWarnings: penetrative sex without a barrier, big dick! mingi, breeding kink, corruption kink (?), creampie, overstimulation, dat dick so good you'd ignore your responsibilities to get it from mingi ღDedication: @downtoamagicalland, @mingsolo & @starlitmark my mingi stans that deserve to be fed more! Here’s some instant inspo, I hope you enjoy! @mejuii lowkey for you because you helped urge it on, and i know you like a confident mingi ENJOY @smallfrye honorary suffer with me braincell tag

The world is on fire outside and you bury further into your blankets. The sirens’ wail and you flinch as an explosion lights up the night sky. You knew exactly what that means; Mingi is out causing havoc and soon he’ll show up on your balcony.

You were a detective for the local police force but tonight was your night off. Mingi always made a strike when you weren’t on shift. You hated the mayhem he created, and the people he hurt. You hated that he made you cast aside every moral bone in your body out the window. But you simply could not tell him no when he came to you, covered in blood and soot and ready to fuck. 

The hard rattle of your balcony door brings you back to reality. You look out to your balcony and there’s Mingi. When your eyes meet, he pushes through the glass. There is nothing that stops him from getting where he wants to be, and by the flash of lust in his eyes, he wants to be in between your legs right now.

“Did you see the explosion?” Mingi mentions while he slowly pulls down the covers that you had dug yourself into. You nod as Mingi’s fingers find the waistband of your underwear and nimbly pull them down your legs. 

“The heroes went to go save the ‘innocent’ people caught up in the explosion while I got away. They’re so predictable.” Mingi pokes his tongue into his cheek, staring at your pussy, completely visible for him now that your legs are spread.

“They’ll never find me here, will they, angel?” Mingi smirks.

You shake your head, shame covering every inch of your skin. Mingi simply takes the goosebumps as a compliment. It always seems like the more chaos Mingi creates, the harder his cock is when he comes to you. 

The villain barely pulls his pants down enough to release his very well-endowed cock, gripping it tightly and running it through your folds. You had been wet the moment the explosion went off. Mingi hums, content that you are ready for him.

“So perfect, just for me, aren’t you, angel?” Mingi murmurs under his breath. 

He pushes into your waiting hole and you groan as he pushes until he is all the way in, no stops, no check ins, it is all about him now; his chance to fuck and brag about how he got away once again.

At first, Mingi is more than happy to watch his dick move in and out of your wet pussy, smirking at how well you take him, despite your conflict of interest. He pokes and prods at your pride, speaking on how you should be the one handcuffing him and manhandling him. But he’s the one who’s got your wrists pinned above your head, fucking you so good, you push your legs even wider to receive the pleasure he’s giving you.

The second round involves Mingi bending you in two, attaining an even deeper angle that he loves to torture you with. He speaks on how he’s inside of you so deep, that he’s going to give you little villain babies, to add to your shame. He fucks your cunt so well that your cunt is still experiencing aftershocks and pushes his cum out from the first and second round.

The final round, the one you always despise, involves spooning your body. By now Mingi is done crowing about his accomplishments tonight, done speaking on how stupid the police and the heroes are. Now, he whispers into your ear, while he plays with your nipple, about his next plan of attack. He loves the thrill of telling you everything, hoping that one day you will have the courage to take him down.

You don’t--you’re not sure you ever will. Because then that means these sessions will end. Then your shameful past will come to light. You might even lose your job. You continue to put your needs and wants before the good of the world.

So when Mingi finishes the third time inside of you, lazily rubbing your clit to overstimulate you even more, he always whispers one final jab as you fade to sleep.

“You’re just as bad as me,” He says, the smirk in his voice apparent, also with a dash of admiration, “Perhaps that’s why you’re perfect for me.”

Taglist: @hijirikaww @flurrys-creativity @stardragongalaxy @k-pop-ology

#kvanity #kwritersworldnet #pirateeznet #cultofdionysusnet #ateez smut #song mingi smut #atz smut #mingi smut #song mingi x reader #topaz's work #ღatz

[in1-nutshell]

The request was deleted on accident. But it talked about Elita One from TFA having a twin sister that was the mom friend who took her place in Archa 7. Buddy turned into Blackarachnia, but based on SG! Blackarachnia. Buddy embraces her organic form and still has the same personality. I loved the amount of potential this prompt had. I did this on the Cons reaction to Buddy. If you would like a continuation, please let me know and request it when the requests are open.

Request from @mcanon

Hope you enjoy!

Elita One's twin sister taking her place as Blackarachnia

SFW, platonic, familial, angst, mentions of wounds and transformation, mentions of insecurity but nothing detailed

TFA

Buddy and Elita are spark twin.

Some of the closest sisters Cybertron had ever known.

Kup had named Elita for her air of status.

He named Optimus for his optimism.

He named Sentinel as his guarded nature.

He named Buddy because she was a buddy to everyone. No, not Buddy could befriend.

"Hahaha! What a lame name! Haha--" --Sentinel

Elita and Optimus death glaring at him.

"... But who am I to judge right guys?..." --Sentinel

Buddy loves Elita so much. But she swears that she has the braincell most of the time.

She shares it mostly with Optimus as they both watch Elita and Sentinel go outside of there comfort zone and do some questionable things.

Elita and Sentinel about to do something reckless.

Buddy and Optimus ready with the fire extinguisher and trash bags at the ready.

Then the event came at Archa 7...

Buddy and Optimus opposed going to a planet without their juristriction.

"Tell me again why we are here with you two?"-- Buddy

"Because we are the star candidates of the Elite Guard and you don't want to let them miss us."-- Sentinel

"Try again Sentinel."--Buddy

"Because you wouldn't let your twin go by herself?"-- Elita One

"Strike two Lita."--Buddy

"Because they are our dum friends and we love them too much?"-- Optimus

"That's the correct answer."--Buddy

"Can't believe it. Betrayed by my own sister."-- Elita One

"Love you too Lita."--Buddy

Then the spiders came out.

Sentinel managed to make it to the mouth of the cave and was ready to catch his friends at the opening.

Buddy and Elita downloaded Optimus's grappling hook and the three swung into the air.

They were getting closer and closer...

They were almost there...

Then Elita's download went out.

"AAAHHH!"--Elita One

"ELITA!"-- Everyone

"Gotcha!"-- Buddy

"Thanks Buddy! Wait what about your download?!"--Elita One

"Elita, Lita look at me!"--Buddy

"What--"--Elita One

"I love you guys to Cybertron and back."--Buddy

Rapid beeping sounds.

"OPTIMUS CATCH!"-- Buddy

Buddy throws Elita to Optimus as her download stops and falls back into the crumbling cave of spiders below

"BUDDY!"--Elita and Optimus

Buddy hits a support beam in the cave and it starts crumbling down on her and the spider's.

Elita is screaming for Buddy, Optimus is yelling but he knows that he has to get his remaining friends out of there now.

He doesn't know how but he managed to get a screaming Sentinel and limp Elita out of the dangers of the former cave.

Sentinel is furious for the both of them for leaving Buddy behind.

Optimus begins the scan already predicting the unlikely outcome that Buddy's signature to be online.

Elita...

Elita is frozen in horror looking at the remains of the cave. She starts the scan when Sentinel starts his.

They spend hours and hours looking.

Buddy's energon signature was no where to be seen.

The now trio returned to Cybertron with heavy sparks.

One filled with fury.

One filled with guilt.

One filled with sadness and despair.

Elita is shocked when she hears that Optimus took the blame for the venture. A part of her wanted to go straight to Magnus and tell the whole truth.

But the other part held some resentment.

If he had just caught her too...

Elita and Sentinel both continue their training in the Academy as Optimus went to do Spacebridge repairs.

Meanwhile...

Buddy had survived the fall.

As she tried to fight off the remaining spiders when she accidentally downloads it and gets bitten by the spiders.

She screams in agony as the venom slowly transformed her into something else. When it's finished the remaining spiders had left leaving Buddy alone to wallow alone in her newly transformed body.

She crawls out of the hole and starts looking around for her friends and twin.

"Sentinel? Optimus? Elita? Guys? Where are you? I'm here! I'm safe! Guys please this isn't funny! Sentinel! Optimus! Elita! Lita?! LITA?!?! PLEASE! SOMEONE?! ANYONE!?! DONT LEAVE ME ALONE!"--Buddy

Silence...

"...please... Don't go..."

Days pass and no sign of anyone. Buddy is convinced that they had left her for dead. She cries and cries until she has no more to cry... For now anyways.

She wants to hate the spiders.

She wants to blame someone.

But she knows deep down this was one her.

It takes a bit of silent reflection, Buddy comes to terms with her new body and decides to embrace her change.

Buddy knows that Cybertron is no longer an option, they would discete her without a second thought. And she was not ready to face her former Academy mates and Elita.

Maybe there was someplace out there that would accept her as she was. Maybe some bots out there in the vast universe.

It was at that moment that a Cybertronian ship had arrived.

Buddy nearly leaped for joy until she saw the insignia on the ship.

A Decepticon ship...

And the first to come down from the ship was none other than the leader himself, Megatron.

The history videos did not do his massive presence justice.

A couple more of his soldiers came down and began to talk to him.

"Why did we stop here Lord Megatron?"--Blitzwing

"Do not question our grand and glorious leader!"--Lugnut

"There was an energon spike here a few weeks ago. There has to be something here to have caused it."--Megatron

Buddy watched from a far as the Cons talked.

Suddenly a rouge spider had crawled out of the hole and started running to the Cons. Buddy didn't know what happened in that moment but she knew that no one deserves the transformation she endured, not even the worst bot in history.

She leaped out of her hiding place and pushed Megatron out of the way letting the spider to pounce on her.

"DIE SPIDER! DIE!"-- Buddy

"How dares-- What--"--Megatron

She remembered hearing a lot of shouting, but her main target was eliminating the spider once and for all.

It was a swift yet brutal death to the organic that left Buddy drenched in it's juices.

Buddy found herself face to face with several blasters. But they were all put down as soon as Megatron ordered it.

Buddy had never felt such a powerful presence, the only other bot to have a near effect was Ultra Magnus.

Buddy felt small, literally against these giants.

No one is expecting Megatron to hold out his servo to help Buddy from off her knees.

"What is your designation?"-- Megatron

"My designation is Buddy. I was a former medic for my team, but they abandoned me for dead."-- Buddy

"... Abandoned you say... And what in the case I offer you a spot in our ranks? You seem capable enough to keep up. What is your answer?"-- Megatron

"... I would like to join you and your army as you're medic."-- Buddy

"Done."--Megatron

"Master you can--"--Lugnut

"Done."-- Megatron

She is put in charge as the ships medic soon after. It's incredibly lonely and isolating at first. No Con wanting to go near her in fear of the disgusting organic body.

Buddy doesn't blame them either.

Buddy is very insecure about it but keeps it down and does her job. A job that she found out she was rather good at.

One of the first Cons to befriend Buddy besides Megatron was Blitzwing and Lugnut.

The others soon followed there after.

Megatron has respect for Buddy when a bit more of her backstory is revealed. Buddy of course never identifies the boys in her stories but, it does leave the warlord with some pity.

Over her time as the Cons medic, she becomes a confident ally,dare he say friend.

He is more than 100% willing to hurt thoughts who wronged Buddy despite what Buddy said about forgiving.

He knows part of that is a load of scrap.

He can see it in her optics.

"With all due respect Lord Megatron. But going one in one with a team of Autobots, one that had the Magnus hammer, was incredibly dumb."--Buddy

"I see that."--Megatron

"You should know better Lord Megatron. If it weren't for natural causes... It doesn't matter right now..."--Buddy

"You worry for me."--Megatron

"Of course I worry. You are our leader of course."-- Buddy

"And not because of something else?"--Megatron

"What do you mean? I don't understand..."--Buddy

"Something... Something like--"--Megatron

"Lord Megatron!"--Lugnut

"...Yes Lugnut..."--Megatron

Blitzwing s relationship with Buddy can be summarized as a sibling relationship.

Icy loves having conversations with Buddy whether work related or not.

Hothead enjoys teasing Buddy, but Primus help the vot how decides to make fun of Buddy while he's around.

It's the classic 'no one can bully my sibling but me'.

Random likes spooking and getting Buddy out of her comfort zone, but he has his limits.

Blitzwing helps Buddy create a stoic face that looks menacing and creepy.

Buddy has to fit in some how right?.

"Let's try this one more time. Show me your angry face."--Icy

"Like this angry!"--Hothead

"Like this!"--Buddy

"Aw! You look like one of those earth kitties!"--Random

Lugnut is the next one.

Lugnut had his doubts at first with Buddy and thought she was an Auto or spy for a bit.

But as soon as he is in charge of getting her updated on Con activity and see her trying, he is hooked.

Buddy is a nice colleague to talk to and rant about the greatest achievements of Lord Megatron.

"So you think that Lord Megatron would like this poem?"--Lugnut

"... Lugnut maybe you should stick with giving him some of his oil before trying the poem thing again."--Buddy

Starscteam is last on the list because he was extremely wary of Buddy.

Not just because of her organic side. But because of her kindness and gentleness. Two traits that are not commonly associated with Cons.

He does come to terms with Buddy as she listens to his rants and genuinely worries for him when he goes out of the base too long.

He has told Buddy that when he becomes leader, he'll make Buddy his Second in Command.

Buddy gently declines this offer as she still works for Megatron and that she is not leader material .

He insisted though.

"For the last time Starscteam. I am not leader material, and anyways I have nothing against Lord Megatron."--Buddy

"We will see when I am the new leader!"--Starscream

#transformers #transformers x reader #maccadam #transformers animated #bot buddy #tfa elita one twin sister

[alchemistc]

You can find part one of this headcanon that I should really just fic at this point (but won't because that's a commitment I will 100% abandon 120k words in when there's still 10 more chapters to go) here.

Have some more "Eddie befriends a concussed Steve after season 2 headcanons-that-are-basically-fic-at-this-point"

Steve gives himself two blissful weeks of Eddie Time before he starts his job hunt, and Eddie pouts about it like the world is coming to an end. Offers to pay for Steve's gas and insurance himself because he really, really enjoys the bubble they've built themselves full of kissing and fucking and talking until six in the morning about nothing and everything and Eddie is only marginally more well-adjusted than Steve is about Love.

"Sure, yeah, my dad throws a fit because I don't get into college, and you think he'll react to 'hey in the same vein, I'm also a raging homo and my drug dealer boyfriend wants me to be his kept man' with anything but violence."

Eddie rants about capitalist greed while Steve gathers applications from shops in the mall, glares at the Sam Goody sign going up and doesn't shut up about how fucking stupid he thinks the mall is the entire drive home, but he changes his tune the first time Steve tries on his uniform. Then immediately rethinks that idea because "Steven, I will pay you to quit right now and keep the uniform, no one else is allowed to see this much thigh on display on the daily, these are my slutty thighs."

Robin nearly quits the first time Scoops has a staff meeting and she finds Steve Harrington lounging in the backroom in the stupid fucking outfit they all have to wear. Begs not to be put on shift with him and then isn't super surprised when she checks the schedule and nearly all of the shifts with Buckley listed have Harrington right next to them, because absolutely fuck her life.

He's kind of a fucking dweeb, if she's being honest, and way less of a flirt than she remembers him being, and every time he strikes out with a pretty girl (because of fucking course she notices exactly how cute they all are) he doesn't actually seem all that put out about it and sort of laughs at her little You Suck marks like there's a joke she's just not in on, which is categorically unfair.

And - he's weird, actually, the more she thinks about it, because sometimes Robin will go on a tangent about a band she's into who just put out a shit album, and Steve will nod along like he knows a thing or two about the band in question (but he can't because this particular bands music is super fucking queer and they're not popular, certainly not in goddamn Hawkins), or she'll start in on one of the popular girls from school once the girl leaves the shop and Steve will tell Robin fucking secrets about all the dumb shit his old crew used to get up to and he'll whisper all the embarrassing stories he has about them like she's a good buddy and he's always secretly wanted to gossip about those dickheads.

And, like, the one thing they do actually have in common is their attraction to girls, not that she's ever telling him that, only - only once, some dude from the jazzercise class came in and Robin is seventy-three percent sure she caught Steve checking out the guys ass when he left, which - no way. Right? He'd just zoned out, or something.

As it turns out she actually kind of enjoys being around Steve, who seems to have a few working braincells beneath all that hair and is surprisingly funny when he's not thinking too hard about it and hangs out with the weirdest people, like - Robin could have tossed the names of the entire population of Hawkins into a bowl and pulled out names at random and still wouldn't have chosen a weirder group of people for The Hair Harrington.

She can't decide if the more inexplicable is the revolving door of children who come to visit him nearly daily and often charm a free cone or a sneak through the backdoor to the theater - or the trio of metalheads here nearly as often. Eddie Munson buys them all cups of ice cream and then they sit in the corner booth menacing terrified suburban moms and hounding Steve until his break and then Steve saunters over with a dopey little grin on his face and argues with Gareth E for five full minutes about something that makes Munson boom in laughter.

And - okay, so Robin is firmly in the closet where she's safe and so is everyone else queer in Hawkins but Munson's never actually denied all the snide comments that get tossed his way and you can't ever assume but like - he doesn't exactly hide the way he ogles Steve Harrington in his stupid uniform and Steve - notices? She thinks he notices. He'd have to be an idiot not to notice, she thinks, but then - well, he's definitely an idiot because sometimes when he gets up at the end of his break Munson shoots a pining look his way and gets an elbow in the ribs from Jeff or Gareth and Robin is actually like a little desperate to know how the hell that particular dynamic was struck up but there's no way she's letting Harrington know he intrigues her.

Eddie learns about the You Rule You Suck board and has a minor freak out about it while pacing a hole into Jeff's bedroom carpet because "He's bi, Jeff, and Buckley's totally his fucking type, they spend literally all day together, Jeff, he's going to leave me for a band nerd, Jeff." and Jeff has to remind Eddie that Steve is ass over tits in love with Eddie and spends every moment not at his literal job either carting around his merry band of kiddos or with Eddie.

Eddie demands secrecy from Jeff about the freakout and Jeff crosses the fingers of one hand behind his back as he runs his fingers over his lips like a zipper, so the moment Eddie leaves, Jeff calls Steve to give him the scoop, and maybe Steve lays it on a little extra thick and does some stupidly romantic shit but it's not like that's far out of his wheelhouse, he romances the fuck out of Eddie whenever he can and Eddie totally knows Jeff spilled his secrets but actually this is sort of okay too.

Eddie picks Henderson up the day he gets back from camp, drives him over to the mall and gets caught by Buckley making cow eyes at Steve when Steve and Henderson get to the lightsaber part of their little handshake.

And. Okay. Sure, Eddie's always kinda figured there was more to the story behind Steve's journey into Being A Better Person but he didn't expect the Russians.

So, when it all goes to hell in a hand basket Eddie's tucked in the backroom of Scoops with the rest of them listening to a Russian recording and handing a coin off to Steve so he can listen to the sound of the Indiana Flyer and -

Fucking. Russians?

And then they're sneaking into a secret base because they got trapped in a secret elevator, and they're sneaking through an underground lab and the Russians are boring a hole into the inside of the world and "Babe, we don't really have time for Twenty Questions when RUSSIANS ARE CHASING US but I promise I'll tell you all about it if I make it outta here alive." and it's the sort of ridiculous bullshit he'd throw into a campaign if the players were really pissing him off so of course, of course they get separated, and Eddie nearly bites Dustin's head off trying to figure out how they're gonna fucking save Steve and Robin.

Steve goads the torture guy into fucking him up so he lays off Robin and Robin is high as shit but like, she knows, okay, she knows what he did for her and that's.

"Have you ever been in love?" Robin asks later, after she's already sort of laid her heart out hoping he won't stomp on it and Steve doesn't hesitate.

"Yep. Nancy Wheeler," and he mimes a gunshot to the heart, makes the sound effect because even though he's found something different and heartstoppingly epic, sometimes that still stings. "And-" but Robin's scoffing and calling Nancy a priss so Steve gets sidetracked from telling Robin he's head over fucking heels for Eddie goddamn Munson. For a second, anyway.

"Are you still in love with Nancy?"

"No."

"Why not?"

Because - because the sun shines out of Eddie Munson's ass and Eddie looks at him like Steve hung the moon and the stars and because somewhere along his journey of self discovery he realized how very much he wanted to love and be loved in return and that Nancy probably was never gonna be the person to share that with him the way he wanted, and damn the world and his parents and his former shitty friends for thinking there's anything wrong with that but also - shit, he likes Robin, thinks she's great, thinks maybe if things were different he'd probably be harboring a terrible fucking crush on her but that doesn't mean she's gonna want to stick around once she finds out he's already planning out the rest of his life with the metalhead she barely tolerates hanging out in the store until closing time three nights a week.

So he tells her about this person he's super into and how weird and cool and so not the type of person he would have gone for in high school they are, and she goes quiet, and he slides under the stall and settles his weight across from her and she's looking at him like she's terrified and - yeah, okay, yep, this fucking sucks. Anyone else who already knows had learned how to not be shitheads about it from Eddie long before Steve had his revelation, or they'd never been the type of people to judge that kind of thing anyway and - and he'd told Gareth that Eddie was worth the hassle and he is but this sucks.

And.

And then she's telling him about how she'd hated him because Tammy Thompson was obsessed with him and - and it takes more time than he's proud of for everything to sort of click in his head but he's got at least a few broken ribs and he's pretty sure that stinging feeling in the side of his skull is gonna amount to another fucking concussion so at least he's got a hookup for good weed - "But Tammy Thompson's a girl," comes out of his mouth anyway and he blinks half a second later because - holy shit. Holy shit.

Because if she - and he - and Steve laughs and calls Tammy Thompson a muppet but then he's laughing harder and pointing to himself and saying "Listen, okay listen, Eddie - Eddie Munson, yeah, I didn't say it earlier because - I didn't mean you, Buckley, I meant Eddie."

And - he'd called Eddie babe and Robin hadn't really noticed it at the time because, like, running away from Russians but - god she's been an idiot because if she'd paid a lick of attention she probably could have put two and two together, like Steve eying the lines on the You Suck board with a secret smile and Steve leaping over the counter like a showoff every time he took his break with Eddie right there across the way, like Eddie leaning across the counter and pressing a finger against the skin and hair on display above the line of Steve's uniform shirt , like Steve blowing off a cute girl to lean across the counter and call Eddie a nerd wasn't the gayest shit imaginable.

And then Eddie and Dustin and Erica are pushing through the bathroom door and Robin is cackling and the comedown from Russian truth drugs is gonna suck but maybe Eddie will smoke them both up if they survive the rest of the night.

---

Eddie doesn't call him out on attempting vehicular manslaughter because he'd seen how fucking long it took Steve to actually recover from the last go 'round with Billy Hargrove, and when the dust settles and they're all sort of reeling because - because Hopper was like a superhero, alright, and they've got an actual superhero in their midst but Hopper-

Eddie and Robin sit across from each other on the end of Steve's bed and Steve drinks his water and tries not to whine too much about the fact that Eddie is taking Robin at her word that they should at least make sure he's not gonna die of a brain bleed before they get him high and then they're laughing about the fact that Eddie was fully fucking convinced Robin was gonna steal Steve out from under his nose and it's - they wake him up once an hour as soon as he starts to nap and Steve's pretty sure they're just gossiping about Steve half the time but he doesn't mind that much.

Because Robin's, like, the best, the best person and the best friend and just the best thing, and she's gonna hate it so much that Steve trusts her because she's going to hear so many truly horrible things about how stupid in love with Eddie Munson Steve is but it's important to Steve that Eddie and Robin give a shit about one another and if they've gotta bond over his ability to injure the shit out of himself any time he's given the chance then he'll nurse his bruised ribs and grin dopily every time Eddie leans over to place a fresh pack of frozen peas on his eye.

---

Robin isn't sure she's ready for anyone else to know and Steve gets that, he totally does, because the few minutes he'd thought she'd judge him for the person he's given his whole heart to were the worst minutes of his life. Gareth clocks her in about two days anyway, keeps it to himself until he can't stand the awkward silences every time Robin and Steve get handsy and they realize it and leap away from one another but it's the same kind of handsy Eddie gets with the band when he's feeling a little lonely and he knows he can trust them to not be total fucking dickheads about it.

"How is it that the only totally hetero one is the only one with a fucking gaydar?" Jeff asks and - okay, so the thing is maybe watching Eddie and Steve fall in love made him realize a few things and he's - well, Hawkins is small and close minded and until Steve he hadn't realized that liking both was a thing you could do.

At the end of the summer Steve arranges a trip up to Indy and Robin has to make up a ridiculous lie to her parents about a camping trip with a few of the band kids because there's zero fucking way they're letting her go up to the city with four fucking dudes but she pulls it off and only has like, two freak outs about being in a club full of women who are also into women.

Babyfaced Gareth is a hit and Jeff definitely maybe makes out with a dude in the alley when he steps out for a cigarette and Steve makes Eddie dance with him until Eddie complains his toes are bleeding and it's actually kind of a perfect night, a perfect trip, a perfect way to end the summer.

Steve and Eddie take turns driving Robin to school in the mornings and Robin couldn't explain to a single soul how they've become the most important people she's ever had in her corner but the thing is she doesn't really have to, because that noise is for people who haven't seen Russians try to jumpstart the apocalypse, haven't been administered torture drugs by horror-movie looking 'doctors', haven't gotten their asses handed to them to protect one another.

By mid November Steve calls a meeting of Gareth and the Gays because Robin's crushing hard on a redhead from band and as previously established only one of them has a working gaydar. Gareth takes all of thirty seconds watching Robin and Vickie interact before he's giving her a thumbs up from across the gym.

---

Gareth fucking hates how catchy Gareth and the Gays is.

#steddie headcanon #this is once again fic length because ofc it is i can't be shortwinded about them #steddie fanfic #steddie ff #out of hand headcanon time again #starring robin buckley bc she'll never not be steve's person #with cameos by steddies number one shippers gareth and jeff #gareth and the gays

[subbmissivesuccubus]

Part of the Job

Another story requested by my patreon member! If you're interested and would like to support my work, please consider checking it out, link in bio <3

Disclaimer: Gojo X Fem!Geto. ‘Blackmail’ but not really. Hospital sex. A lot of boob loving.

~~~~~

“Getooo~” a shrill voice called out with an annoying teasing tone. Geto rolled her eyes, already knowing why Utahime was so excited. 

“Ugh. What is it?” she asked as her Senior reached her, playing along.

“Rude. Be respectful!” Utahime said, pouting before she continued, “But anyway, your boyfriends here. Again.”

“I have no idea what you’re talking about.” Geto responded, putting away some paperwork on her desk, “Now if you’ll excuse me, I have patients to take care of.”

“Yeah, and one of them is your boyfriend. He specifically asked for you. Again.”

“He’s not my boyfriend and I’m not doing it. Have Nanami look after him or something.”

“If Nanami caters to him one more time I think Gojo will leave the hospital more injured than when he came in. Just go already before he throws a tantrum.” Without waiting for a response, Utahime turned around and left the room, leaving Geto alone.

Geto sighed, realising that she unfortunately had to do her job. She looked into the mirror and checked that her uniform was proper, her white dress and stockings pristine and clean. Her long black hair was pinned up in a high ponytail, a strand of it framing her face in the front and her makeup was simple yet elegant. She looked good, as usual.

 She walked out of the room and towards the location where her…patient was waiting. She didn’t even need to confirm where the man would be. There was only one room that would be sufficient for that rich bastard.

She knocked on the door once she arrived, sliding it open before she walked in. Despite the annoying situation, she did enjoy coming into the private suite of the hospital. A series of rooms reserved for the higher ups of society- celebrities, billionaires and such. It was a large room with an AC, a TV, a working internet connection, a big comfy bed, soundproof walls and, most importantly, a private nurse.

“Geto!” the nuisance called out excitedly as she walked into the room, “About time! I’ve been waiting for so long!”

Geto closed the door behind her and locked it, rolling her eyes, “I know you just arrived, stop being so dramatic.”

Gojo, her patient in question simply stuck his tongue out at her childishly before he went back to browsing the TV channels. She made her way over to him, trying her best to steel herself for whatever bullshit he was about to start spewing.

Gojo Satoru. He was a handsome young man with striking white hair and even more mesmerising blue eyes. The first time she saw him, she had to remember how to breathe, his eyes sparkling like sapphires. He was the son of the family who owned the hospital and he was well on his way to becoming the head someday. And for some reason, he seemed to have developed a habit of faking injuries and illnesses just to get into the hospital.

For ‘some reason’.

“So, what’s your problem this time?” Geto asked as she sat beside the bed, getting comfortable, notepad in hand as she looked over the man who was sitting against the headboard of the very comfy bed.

“My head hurts.” He responded, giving her a sad puppy dog look, “It’s been hurting all day. I think it’s something serious.”

“It sure is serious.” Geto said, poking his forehead with a manicured nail, “your brain is so empty- I bet the one braincell you have is hurting your skull when it knocks around in all that space!”

“Haha. Very funny.” Gojo said, pretending like he was going to bite her fingers and laughing when she suddenly pulled away, “Anyway, you know the best cure for it, right? You are a nurse, after all. My nurse.”

“Well, a headache will just be a tablet you can swallow but…that’s not what you’re demanding, are you?”

“Demanding? I’m not demanding anything.” Gojo said, lying through his teeth as he looked her up and down with that familiar expression, “I’m just asking you, as a medical professional, to give me the treatment that works the best on me.”

Geto sighed. Here she goes again.

Double checking that the door was locked, she took off her shoes before she crawled onto the bed. Gojo threw the remote away, the TV showcasing some random program but it didn’t matter as Geto sliding onto his lap blocked his view from the machine. She looked down at him, an unimpressed look in her eyes as he stared up at her, mischief behind his blue orbs before his gaze trailed down to her chest. With a sigh, she got to work, starting to unbutton her uniform.

“Oh yeah~ Give me those tits~” the white-haired man purred, practically drooling as Geto’s skin got revealed. She pushed the top half of her dress off of her shoulders and arms, the routine getting familiar as she exposed her bra clad breasts to the perverted patient.

“Fuck-“ Gojo gasped, shamelessly pushing forward and slotting his face into her cleavage, breathing in her scent and lightly shaking his head side to side, motorboating her, “I love it when you wear black.”

“You want to take it off of me?”

“Mmhmm.”

With his face still smothered between her ample breasts, His hands slid up her back, tracing up her spine, his long fingers massaging her muscles before he reached the clasp of her bra. With practiced ease, he unhooked the item, not moving his face away from her chest even as he helped her remove it.

He threw it to the side, finally parting from her so he could have a good long look at her bare chest. Geto understood early on that Gojo was obsessed with her tits, the man often looking at her breasts more than her eyes. She was quite gifted in that department- her breasts decently big and plump enough for his hand to engulf and squeeze tightly.

Giving the valley between her breasts a kiss, his hands came up and grabbed onto her breasts, Geto’s back arching as she allowed him to grope at her. The man bit his lower lips, his pupils turning into hearts as he started to squeeze her like a toy. Her soft flesh seeped between his fingers as he groped her, Gojo using his grip on her to move her breasts in random directions. Sometimes, he’d push her breasts up a bit before letting go, his cock throbbing under Geto’s butt as he watched the way her tits bounced back down only for him to do it again.

“Shake those tits for me, yeah, that’s it~” he ordered, mouth watering as Geto shook her shoulders enough for her breasts to start moving side to side, the way her plump flesh danced mesmerising. He stuffed his face between her tits again, Geto still shaking her body as he enjoyed the feeling of her tits slapping his face.

“Tighter- fuck- make it tighter-“

Geto swore he could probably cum in his pants if the moan he let out was anything to go by. With his hands now on her ass, greedily pawing at her, she pressed her breasts closer together, squeezing them around Gojo’s face. She could feel him moan against her; his cheeks red as he happily suffocated between her soft globes.

“More- squeeze more- fuck – yes!”

Gojo’s cock was already rock hard in his pants but he couldn’t help it. He absolutely loved Geto’s body, especially her tits. He’d spend all day suckling on her nipples if she let him, her soft breasts now becoming a happy place for him. Work is annoying? He’d imagine groping her titties. People are getting on his nerves? He’d picture falling asleep with Geto’s nipple in his mouth. Geto is ignoring him to do her ‘job’? That’s fine, just jerk off to the thought of big, fat milkers-

“Oh fuck!” Gojo moaned, pulling his head from between her breasts to take a deep breath, body shivering as Geto suddenly started to move her hips against his. Her hands now behind her, grasping onto his legs, she arched her back a bit as she ground against his clothed erection, her perky butt massaging his member just right.  His grip on her ass tightened as Gojo leaned down, mouth open and panting as his tongue ran over the plush of her right breast. Making his way down to her nipple, he giggled at Geto’s flinch once he flicked her sensitive bud with his tongue, her nipple instantly hardening. Not one to waste time, he sealed his lips around her and started to suck, groaning against her from the sensation of suckling on her sweet bud while also having her ass rub against his leaking member.

As he sucked her, licking her nipple up greedily, Geto thought back to how this all started. How she was so happy to have been accepted to one of the most prestigious hospitals out there. How she quickly got the respect and admiration from her peers for her work ethic and no-nonsense attitude while still being empathetic and kind to patients. She had met Gojo a month into her job and they hit it off, his status not influencing the way she treated him. Despite his spoilt attitude, they ended up being good friends even before she realised who he was.

The first time he got injured and Geto had to look after him, he groped her butt, his pain killer muddled brain claiming it made him feel better. The second time, after he realised Geto wasn’t mad at him, he admitted himself in for a headache and needed to see Geto’s bare breasts to get better. The third time, after his days were haunted by the sight of Geto’s pretty nipples, he claimed his dick was aching and swore that emptying his balls into her mouth would solve his problems.

And so, this routine continued. Perhaps it was because Gojo was technically her boss and Geto had to follow his orders (despite the fact that Geto would sooner castrate him than do something she doesn’t want to do). Perhaps it was because Geto was pent up, hot and horny that she was willing to let Gojo use her body for his perverted desires (much more likely). Or, perhaps, they were two emotionally constipated people who’d rather fuck each other than confess to any actual affection. 

 “I want you to sit on my face.” Gojo said hungrily, flicking her nipple with his tongue before giving it a kiss. Geto snorted, biting down a gasp as he bit down on her bud, “Is that another, super legit medical procedure?” she asked.

“Sure is.” The man responded, his other hand pawing at her ass, fisting and pulling up her skirt, “your pussy juice can solve any problem.”

“Ugh. Gross.” Geto said, this time unable to hold back her gasp as he suddenly spanked her, the pain red hot and addicting, “Fine- lie down.”

With an excited grin, Gojo did as he was told (a very rare sight), his head resting comfortably against his pillow as he waited for his treat. Huffing, Geto slid her hands underneath her skirt and started to pull off her undergarments. Gojo watched as she slowly started to drag her panties down her milky white thighs, her uniform covering up her cunt but he knew he’d see it in a second. With a bit of manoeuvring, Geto threw her panties to the floor, shivering as she felt the slight chill of the air conditioner brush against her- admittedly wet- cunt.

“Ready?” she asked, crawling up towards his head.

“Fuck yes!” Gojo said, already panting excitedly as he gripped her hips, helping her balance as she finally made her way to his head. “Fucking hell-“ he gasped as she straddled his face, not sitting down yet as she gave him a perfect view of her cunt. He was quite familiar with her pussy at this point, her cunt being absolute perfection. Cute and pink with puffy pussy lips, a tuft of hair and a sensitive clit- her pussy was what dreams were made of.  “Your pussy is so perfect- fuck- get down here!”

Gripping her hips tightly, Gojo pulled her down, Geto letting out a cute yelp from the sudden movement as she sat on his face, his mouth directly on her cunt. She moaned as Gojo took a deep, greedy lick of her pussy, kissing her cunt like he was making out with it. The moans he was letting out like he was the one getting fucked was vibrating her pussy, making her body shiver as he pleasured her. Geto had to admit- the man knew how to use his tongue.

“Fuck-“ she gasped out softly, refusing to be vocal to preserve her pride as Gojo lapped at her pussy, the man sucking on her clit like it was a sweet treat. He smacked her ass occasionally, making her rock her hips against his tongue even harder as he ate her out. He seemed to love getting her to break down, having her squealing for him by the end.

She was driven to her climax embarrassingly fast, Gojo’s talented mouth working her pussy perfectly. He moaned against her, mouth open and tongue lapping up her juices as she came in his mouth, Geto muffling her moans by slapping a hand over her mouth. She trembled on top of him, her thighs shaking and back arching as the pleasure hit her, her cunt gushing all over Gojo’s face.

He eventually tapped her thigh, signalling that he wanted her to get off. She pushed herself onto his chest, the man having a happy, satisfied look on his face as he took deep breaths. He looked at her, hunger still in his eyes.

“How do you want me to take you?” he asked, panting heavily, his lips wet from her slick. Geto wasn’t any better, her body shivering from the aftermath of her orgasm but her pussy wanted more. She needed him.

“…from behind.” She said, mirroring Gojo smile as he pushed her off of him, making her fall back against the bed. She quickly rolled over as the man greedily started unbuttoning his jeans, pushing his pants and underwear down in record speed just as she got on her knees. Geto looked behind her, mouth drooling as she stared at Gojo’s thick, delicious cock. The first time she sucked him off, her jaw was sore for three days straight. He was long, thick, with heavy balls and a delicious red tip, a tip that was leaking so much pre-cum she wished she could lap it up.

He grabbed her hip with one hand, grasping the base of his cock with the other before he started slapping his dick against her wet pussy, making her jump with every hit.

“Put it in yourself.” He demanded, clearly expecting Geto to protest but the woman was so horny that she quickly complied. He chuckled as she brought her arm out from between her legs, grabbing onto his member before she guided him to her hole, pressing his tip against her leaking entrance. She heard Gojo curse at her lewd action, his cock throbbing against her as he started pushing in. They both groaned simultaneously as his dick thrust inside her, splitting apart her wet, needy walls.

“Fu-uck-“ Geto moaned, her patients dick already bumping her cervix, his dick so deliciously long it took her breath away. Gojo growled as he gave her juicy butt a mean spank, moaning as he felt her tighten around him from the impact. “Gonna move- fuck me- I love this fucking pussy!”

With another smack, the man started to thrust, gently pulling out before slamming back inside her, both of them moaning. Geto gripped onto the bedsheet tightly as her body started to move back and forth, tits swinging as he gradually picked up the pace. She always enjoyed it when Gojo took her from behind, the position making his cock drive as deep as it could inside her. His grip on her hips was tight, the man pulling her back to meet his thrusts as he started passionately fucking her. Balls clapped against her clit each time, the slick sound of their filthy fucking echoing through the room, no doubt being audible outside the door were it not for the soundproof walls.

“Fuuuuck!” Gojo snarled, sweat on his body and heat on his face as he fucked this beautiful, sexy woman. He enjoyed their little routine, knowing full well that he wasn’t actually blackmailing her. At this point, she knew enough about him that she could threaten him and get whatever she wanted. Hell, she could just withhold sex for a day and Gojo would cave. He knew he had feelings for her but it just wasn’t the time for them. It will be, eventually, he was sure of it.

So for now, he would just fuck her cunt, enjoy her body and give her enough orgasms to make sure she knows she’d never find someone as good as him. He needed to make a stand considering just how amazing Geto was. There was no doubt a long list of men who’d want to be with her, but she chose him and he didn’t take it for granted. One day, he’d have her body and mind and heart.

They fucked like animals, Geto eventually loosing strength in her arms as she lowered her face onto the mattress, panting and mewling against the bedsheet with her ass up. Gojo loved the view, licking his lips as a hand came up to grope at her butt before his thumb inched towards her rim. He felt her jump, her gasp adorable as he started rubbing her tight asshole, his mouth starting to water as he pictures eating her ass. He needed to do that next.

“Fuck- cumming- gonna- oh yes-“ Geto moaned, drool seeping into the bedsheet as she was fucked silly, his thick cock hitting her g-spot perfectly. M-Me too!” Gojo gasped, gritting his teeth as he gently pressed his thumb into her other hole, groaning as he felt her tighten around him even more, “Fuck- where do you want it?”

“I-Inside me!” Geto begged, voice jumping from the force of his thrust, her ass ripping against him, “fill me up!”

“Fuck baby- let’s cum together!” Gojo said, ready to pump her full. She was on birth control but he felt his balls constrict over imaging a time where she wouldn’t be- where he could truly breed her and knock her up.

“Cumming! Fuck- cumming!”

“Cum for me babe- oh yea- gonna fucking- fill you!”

“Yes- yes- yes!!”

With a shrill squeal, Geto climaxed. Her back arched as her pussy gushed around his member, her juices dripping down her thighs as she came. Her body shivered, the woman biting down on the bedsheet to prevent any further noises from leaving her throat. It barely helped as she huffed and moaned against the fabric, eyes rolling to the back of her head at the amazing feeling of an orgasm literally being fucked out of her.

Gojo moaned shamelessly, pressing her hips so tight against his, not allowing her to move as he came inside her. He smiled a wide grin, tongue sticking out as he pumped her full, balls clenching as he dumped his nut into her eager, waiting womb. Fuck…he really wished she wasn’t on birth control. He’d never get tired of the sensation of her pussy milking his cock for every drop, her ribbed walls clamping around him, soaking his dick in a mixture of their juices. She was so perfect.

Eventually, after coming down from their highs, Gojo slowly pulled his cock out, dick twitching as he watched her gaping pussy leak out his cum, making her body a mess of sweat and semen. Geto sat up as well, a bit dazed from her orgasm and a bit miffed that she now had to continue her workday stuffed with cum. Post nut clarity really was a bitch.

But before she could say anything, Gojo sat back against the headboard, legs spread and cock still erect as he started taking off the remaining of his clothes, getting completely naked.

“You’re still my nurse, right?” he asked, noticing her confused expression, “My head still hurts. I think I need to cum down your throat for it to go away.”

Geto snorted, unable to hold back her laugh as she started crawling towards him, happy to give her body a break but still eager for more.

“And I suppose you’d like to tongue my asshole open later?” she asked as she grasped his member, Gojo hissing from the sensitivity.

“Exactly. I knew you were an excellent nurse.”

~~~~~

#satosugu #jujutsu kaisen smut #geto suguru smut #gojo satoru smut #gojo x geto #jjk smut #subby writes #jjk fanfic

[sylvermage]

I'm not the biggest Mission: Impossible fan, but Dead Reckoning Pt 1 has given me feelings about something (Benji, okay, it's Benji) and I need to talk about them.

Spoilers and ramblings under the cut.

So, while the Entity definitely fears Ethan and the rest of IMF for being the only people with enough braincells to want to KILL the Entity instead of use it (honourable mention to Degas; please join IMF, dude), it strikes me that right from the beginning, it's gone after Benji.

We start with the bomb. The Entity knew Benji would be the one to come looking for it. Why? Because Benji is usually Ethan's eyes (noticing the suspicious bag), and it's a pattern that when Ethan is in danger or out of reach, Benji takes to the field.

Of the team, Benji is most likely to be susceptible to the psychological prodding from the bomb's questions. He doesn't compartmentalize the way the others do; he brings his whole self to every mission, and that makes him a good agent; it's why he babbles when he's nervous, cries openly, complains about the sheer insanity of what they're attempting to do, and then walks straight into the fire without hesitation.

So right away, the Entity wants Benji to know that it knows him. And by doing so, it's letting US know that it knows who Ethan's lynchpin is.

Then it takes it a step further: it steals Benji's voice. Listen to the commands it's giving Ethan through the comms, they're disjointed, haphazard, but Ethan never stops to question it. Why? Because it's Benji's voice. Ethan has always given himself completely over to Benji's directions (Benji told him to jump off a mountain onto a speeding train, and Ethan's thought process isn't nope, find something else, it's how in the goddamn hell am I going to do this. Because if Benji says it's the only way, then that's good enough for Ethan.)

And this hurts Benji. You can see the panic in his face, because he knows Ethan will trust his voice, and he's completely helpless. The Entity has attacked him psychologically, it's undermining his greatest skill (working with tech), and now it's taunting him with the trust Ethan places in him. It's slowly rendering him powerless.

Even though the line of self-harming was removed from the final product (and personally, I don't mind, but that's another discussion), we know Benji has his demons. He's had a bomb vest strapped to him, and he's nearly been hung (which is a TERRIBLE way to die) and both situations rendered him totally helpless.

But I think it's interesting that the Entity never asked him what it was he most feared, because we already know, we've already been shown what it is: Benji fears being a liability.

Specifically, a liability to Ethan.

And although I'm hoping against hope that they WON'T kill off Benji, because he's my favourite and because I think the MI world would be so much darker without him, I can think of no better way to push Ethan into despair than to put Benji in a situation where he has to sacrifice himself for Ethan. Because Benji is the only one that Ethan has repeatedly promised, with words, 'I will not let anything happen to you'. He couldn't even make that promise to Grace, because he's not sure anymore that he can keep it. But he HAS made that promise, repeatedly, to Benji. And Benji knows better than anyone how far Ethan will go to protect someone, how far Ethan has pushed to protect HIM specifically. He has sat there with a ticking timer among innocents completely aware that Ethan is not going to walk away, because abandoning his friends and partners (abandoning Benji) doesn't even appear on Ethan's radar. And that's a lot of weight to carry.

Of course Benji is afraid to die; he's stared death in the face many times. But he's more afraid of being a liability to Ethan. Of being the thing that leads Ethan to fail.

And the Entity is SHOWING him this, it's showing US this. And it scares the hell out of me. Because the one thing that could break Benji, is the one thing I can think of that would break Ethan. Forcing Benji to choose between death and Ethan's failure…and Ethan being forced to watch him make that choice.

Killing Benji before Ilsa might have struck a stronger blow against Ethan; the only reason to hold off is to make it even more painful. Show Ethan he can't keep his promises to protect those closest to him, put the doubt in his mind…then make it a reality. Destroy the one person he's always promised to protect, right in front of him.

And even if they don't kill him off (plzdon'tilovehim), even if they find a third option, the amount of damage being in that situation would do to both Ethan and Benji would be catastrophic.

Now if you'll excuse me, I have made myself sad, so I'll just be over here, writhing in agony until 2024.

#Mission impossible #MI7 #Mission impossible spoilers #MI7 Spoilers #Dead reckoning part 1 #Dead reckoning spoilers #cw: self harm #benji dunn #benjamin dunn #ethan hunt #simon pegg #tom cruise

[fictional-orphan-smackdown]

Look man I'm tired, I can't keep coming up with these catchy similarity based showdown titles

All propaganda and what each competitor is from under the cut

Anthony Lockwood (Lockwood and Co)

Lockwood (he's known by his surname mostly) is the mysterious, daredevil and charming founder of Lockwood and Co., a detective agency specialised in protecting people from angry -and sometimes sort of hungry- ghosts in a world where they're rampant. His agency is starting small despite Lockwood bragging it's the best in London but get more and more recognition as the series progress and the agents composing them meet success (when they're not on the verge of dying). Lockwood has open manners but hid his painful past from his coworkers to protect himself. He and George, the first teenager he recruited, are quite stunned by Lucy, a country girl who fled to London after disaster striked in her hometown. Thanks to her talent, she quickly becomes known as one of the best ghost fighter in London and finds her place in the small team despite having the same determination to hide her past than Lockwood, which draws him close to her, making George jealous, but Lockwood's manifest good skills in leadership and the three of them become fast friends while unravelling secret truths and risking their lives repeatedly

He has a lot of trauma and a lot of pain but he always smiles and always has a warm and polite attitude; he’s so protective of the ones he loves that it overrides his suicidal tendencies; at the end of the series he starts to heal from his past; he’s hot but has only two braincells.

Shadow the Hedgehog (Sonic the Hedgehog franchise)

Shadow was created to help cure Robotnik's daughter, Maria, who suffers from the in-universe equivalent of AIDS. However, the us military catches wind of this and wants to use Shadow as a weapon. They storm the facility, kill Robotnik, KILL MARIA, but not before she ejects Shadow in a stasis pod that freezes him for 50 years. He has a black and red palette and owns a gun

I've come to make an announcement: Shadow the Hedgehog's a bitch-ass motherfucker. He pissed on my fucking wife. That's right. He took his hedgehog fuckin' quilly dick out and he pissed on my FUCKING wife, and he said his dick was THIS BIG, and I said that's disgusting. So I'm making a callout post on my Twitter.com. Shadow the Hedgehog, you got a small dick. It's the size of this walnut except WAY smaller. And guess what? Here's what my dong looks like. That's right, baby. Tall points, no quills, no pillows, look at that, it looks like two balls and a bong. He fucked my wife, so guess what, I'm gonna fuck the earth. That's right, this is what you get! My SUPER LASER PISS! Except I'm not gonna piss on the earth. I'm gonna go higher. I'm pissing on the MOOOON! How do you like that, OBAMA? I PISSED ON THE MOON, YOU IDIOT! You have twenty-three hours before the piss DROPLETS hit the fucking earth, now get out of my fucking sight before I piss on you too!

#poll #lockwood and co #anthony lockwood #sonic fandom #sonic the hedgehog #shadow the hedgehog #i'm not fucking kidding that someone submitted the pissing on the moon monologue as propaganda for shadow. i'm having the time of my life

[moongirlwidow]

Anon Box Status: strike 1

Peter finally got me on this place so here’s a bit about me suppose

Hi I’m Vespera “Vera” Volkov, my pronouns are she/her, I’m fifteen years old and I’m a Black Widow, you might know my older sisters Yelena and Natasha, older brother Bucky(@white-wolf-actually), younger brother Peter(@peterparkermans), other big sister Nev(@a-simpfortessa-lesbriean), my Мама Hela(@goddessof-death), or my girlfriend MJ(@midtown-braincell-holder). I’m the vigilante and now Avenger known as the Winter Widow, as well as a SHIELD consultant(did not know they gave me a title?)

I am fully aware that WinterWidow is Natasha and James’ ship name, but it was what the Red Room was going to call me post-graduation, and I decided it’s fucking hilarious now.

Oh apparently I’m supposed to add that I almost killed Tony Stark the first time I met him?

House Rules:

— No nsfw stuff

- no racis n, sexism, homophobia, anti-semitism, Zionism, etc.

— do not, for the love of god, ship the teenagers with the adults(looking at you,

Starker)

- trans rights are human rights

— from river to sea Palestine will be free

— stand with Ukraine

#the winter widow #vera volkov #marvel #marvel mcu #marvel oc #marvel rp #marvel ask blog #the red room #red room #red room mcu

[taki118]

SuyaLight Master Post Part 13

I really like these two there’s not a lot of content for the fandom as a whole soooo here’s my submission as I get every moment of these two royals who literally share a braincell (and I love them for it) First up this is just on the manga if you are anime only its going to have stuff you havent seen, yes even with what the anime covers (so read it) and there will be spoilers so beware. If you prefer Demon Monk/Cleric/Leo (which I don’t really get) I am sorry this isnt for you. Lets go! Part 1 is here Part 2 is here Part 3 is here Part 4 is here Part 5 is here Part 6 is here Part 7 is here Part 8 is here Part 8.5 is here Part 9 is here Part 10 is here Part 11 is here Part 12 is here

Twilight wants to spend time with Posiden but he’s nervous so he tries to get Suya to come

Suya thinks it’s weird cause she’s not good at reading people

SO she tries to just get Twilight calling him like he’s not the demon king and notes he’s good at making tools

So she gets dragged on their fishing trip

But she doesn’t get the point of it

They try to scold her over it

Because of Suya the two have a heart to heart where this is resolution and SUya gets to eat with them

Suya is hanging out with Twilights dad who appears like a child and Suya is unaware just enjoys playing with a cute kid, but musican is trying to stop her from revealing too much, yet SUya just always seems to talk about Twilight

He wants to hear futuredaughterinlaws I mean Suya’s opinion on Twilight

She thinks Twilight is fine as he is and sees how he’s changing

This chapter is the absolute cutest

Twilight wants to check in on the demon school undercover and they realize Suya is the most suitable amoung them to join him, reluctantly

Its obvious she just wants to play around but then 

So does Twilight, neither of them ever had a normal school experience and want to do so.

Suya gives a heartfelt explaination

But Twilight still knows its a bad idea

But he should really know better by now

Anyway they go and get seen by Musician whos teaching that day in their not all that good student disguises. 

Suya starts eating secretly in class, Twilight notices and wants some

And she happily shares

They even share a note

And accidently causing musican more stress

Suya brought a heated bento but wasn’t aware they are too cute together

I mean look at these dorks

But they don’t get introuble

The two are getting disillusioned with school life

They both really played up school life in their heads and hoped to get the full experience in a day

On the offhanded mention of dorms they both cheer up look at these dorks

As Twilight goes on about how lovely this is

But musican reminds him its not that different from the situation at the castle

Twilight is such a romantic that Suya kills

Musican’s words strike the right cord and the two are happy to return

Like how can you read these chapters and not think the two suit each other

#suyalight #sleepy princess in the demon castle #sleepy princess #demon king twilight #princess suya #aurora sya lis goodereste #maoujou de oyasumi #long post #manga

[noa-ciharu]

That's fine--- it's a typical FuuKam✨✨ Then why don't we spice thing up?😎 FuuKam with kiss46----😎😎😎 (i think... It is suitable to TRC?? Huh??😂😂)

Ah, you sort of gave me idea for this one 😂 it's fluff and humor for once 😌 TRC setting, some time after acid Tokyo. Kamui displays how he's a proud owner of 0 braincells

46 - Kiss out of jealousy/envy

Just what in the world was he doing?

Kamui kept asking himself same question over and over again as he crouched down and hid behind garbage can. Strench was awful, offending really; but Kamui tried to endure it; he had other priorities on hand.

Like spying on his twin talking to his boyfr -

No.

That hunter he spent night with from time to time.

Really, what possessed him to do that, he had no clue. Ever since figuring out three of them were in same world, Fuuma started dropping by their place on regular basis. Every day, not to beat around the bush. Of course it was inevitable Subaru and Fuuma would strike a conversion from time to time. Kamui was a tad bit distrustful initially about Subaru's safety given who precisely Fuuma was related to. But those doubts faded over past few weeks.

Observing them chichating and getting along so well, Kamui returned to mistrust for complete different reasons.

Heaven help you Fuuma if you're doing things behind my back.

Kamui noticed Subaru murmuring something and Fuuma chuckling slightly in response. Damn he was too far away to hear what they were saying; without any deliberation Kamui crawled behind dumpster at closer proximity to objects of his undivided attention. Unfortunately that undivided attention resulted in him bumping head over container's edge. Something hissed, something bolted up. Cat flew from dumpster right above him; some of thrash followed. He slipped onto discarded can and stumbled down.

Universe you don't need to tell me I'm an idiot. I know that myself.

Kamui got up and dusted himself. Really, if something stood as axiom, then it was how head over heels Fuuma was for him. No way that was all pretense, he was absolutely whipped. No way he'd have interest in his more than adorable and docile twin who had no outbursts and not a hint of difficult personality and was basically adored by absolutely everyone and was totally a better choice and -

Sigh.

Great. Now he felt problem child.

What am I? A teenage girl? Damn you to hell Fuuma, this is all your fault!

In heat of a moment Kamui kicked container. Another thrasbag fell out and spilled over his feet. Damn it all to hell. This has to be Fuuma's fault too.

"Good thing you stepped in, that man kept on bothering me for days now...", Subaru murmured and broke Kamui out of whatever sorry state he fell into.

Wait, what man? Briefly Kamui felt miffed that someone was bother Subaru; extra miffed that Subaru apparently kept that from him. Kamui hoped that was only thing Subaru omitted to inform him about.

"Hm, one from bakery beside your apartment?", Fuuma hummed and scratched back of own head. He looked ridiculously attractive in casual attire and carefree like that, Kamui noted. He hoped Subaru didn't note the same.

Subaru didn't appear to be affected, simply hummed affirmatively. Good, no signs of flirting. But that didn't stop Kamui from feeling jea - curious.

Yes, he was just curious. Nothing more.

So it was that shady looking guy who gave him and Subaru funny looks; pieces started falling together, explaining why Subaru was avoiding being alone in past few days. Although, Subaru was as powerful as he was, he couldn't have easily told that guy off or simply showed him claws; dude would have ran away like he saw the devil. Still, Subaru being Subaru, of course he'd rather suffering himself than risk being rude.

If it were Kamui he would have plunged that guy's eyes out long ago.

Or maybe he would have orchestrated a chain of events that would result in Fuuma having to step in.

Momentarily Kamui imagined Fuuma politely telling that guy off. Couldn't help fantasizing how hot he would have looked with stone cold anger if Kamui ended up being one hit on. Would he glare? Oh sure he would, maybe even approach the guy and put size difference to good use. Hmm, would that be hot to watch; not that Kamui would ever admit. Maybe he could put that to test someday, when some other creep started ogling him. Yes, maybe he could dress in bit tighter clothing, walk around town and -

"You could have dealt with it yourself Subaru-san", Fuuma explained and addressed Subaru with gentle smile.

If it was a teenager girl in question, she would have been melting by attractive older guy paying attention to her. To hell, anyone would get even little bit warm and fuzzy inside. Not Subaru however, he didn't seem affected at all; even appeared to be frowning at topic of his three day stalker.

I can't believe I'm saying this, but for first time in my life I'm grateful you're obsessed with that bastard hunter of yours, Subaru.

"True, but I didn't know how to politely tell him to leave me alone. I didn't want Kamui to find out, he would have blown his top"

At mention of his name Kamui become more engrossed in conversation. He frowned once implication settled in. Really, Kamui was aware he had a bit of... outbursts and overreaction issues when their safety was in question, but that didn't mean he was delighted to hear himself being compared to unrestrained animals.

Still, Subaru's lack of response wasn't adequate really. Kamui would have clawed his eyes out! That would have been far more adequate.

"Guy would get his eyes clawed out", Fuuma commented lightly, as if reading his thoughts.

If you're reading my thoughts then step away from Subaru and start looking for me. Or at least talk about me!

Kamui pouted further; kicked thrash can once more. Bystanders gave him funny looks but he didn't give a single damn. Was he really that predictable? That much of an open book? Maybe Fuuma knew him way too well from all the sleepless nights they've spent together.

"Well, you're cute", Fuuma responded matter-of-factly. "Of course potential suitors would flock to you"

But what about me? Kamui felt himself pouting even further, like a child. Never mind that Fuuma showered him in compliments nonstop, nevermind that he's been called way more than simply cute, never mind how many times he saw Fuuma being physically affected by his appearance- suddenly Kamui couldn't recall any of that. All that matters is that his boyfr- enemy with benefits called his clearly adorable twin adorable.

Damn it all to hell. Kamui knew he was behaving irrationally, playing stories in his head that deep down he knew weren't real but couldn't tame tiny corners of mind casting shadows of doubt. For all he knew Fuuma would dump him this evening and the start hanging more and more with his twin and then they'd magically be missing during night all until one time Kamui would unlock the door and see them -

Kamui extended his nails and plunged five holes into metal container; then scraped nails down the surface. No, he wasn't miffed, he wasn't pouting and dreading - no, he didn't care at all! Not a bit. It's just... how did he sink so low to think Subaru would do that to him?

Okay maybe Subaru would, he was too kind and gentle for something like that. But that still left possibility of Fuuma losing interest in him once he saw he can do much better. Really, Kamui knew he was considered attractive by most, but his personality was anything but easy to put up with.

Fuuma put hand under chin and gazed up to sky. Then added in amused tone - "My brother wouldn't be delighted at all to hear other men are looking at you in that way"

Well, neither am I! For the first time (and hopefully last time) in his life, Kamui wished Seishirou was in this universe because he surely would have stepped in long ago. Possessive bastard would surely have thought Fuuma was flirting with Subaru or even if not, surely would have acted as prevention measure; surely wouldn't be spying from afar and playing out disastrous scenarios in head while being passive and dying inside. Kamui flinched once he realized just who he was comparing himself with, god forbid he had anything in common with that bastard hunter.

Kamui hissed once more. There's no other, all of this was Fuuma's fault one way or another! No, not Subaru's, he was polite and empathetic with everyone, even three day stalkers. Then it had to be Seishirou's fault by extension somehow. Yes, something would always be that bastard's fault. Butterfly effect probably.

Alright, maybe there was nothing going on. Maybe he was observing world with envy-green glasses. Maybe -

Subaru shifted gaze to ground, expression sheepish and abashed. Then blush spread across his face. He appeared so endearing even bystanders stared his way. Kamui frowned once more. Again, for the first time in his life Kamui hoped Subaru was blushing because of what Fuuma said about Seishirou, not because of Fuuma himself.

But Fuuma was looking at him too. And Kamui couldn't know what precisely Fuuma thought about Subaru's abashed and docile behavior. Then he opened mouth as to say something and -

Enough was enough.

Without a second though Kamui got out of his hiding spot and strolled right where Subaru and Fuuma stood. Perhaps there was something in the way he moved that ozzed of 'piss me off a tiny bit and it'll be last thing you do in your life' as all bystanders moved out of his way. Good, let world know he's annoyed.

Of course Fuuma and his twin noticed him immediately; both turned his way and took step away from one another. So you're putting distance just because I'm here now? That only strengthened Kamui's resolve to do that he never thought he'd be bold enough to do in public.

Fuuma put hands in pockets and beamed at him. Subaru also gave a meek relieved smile, but none if that dampened down Kamui's apprehension.

"Oh Kamui, I'm happy to see y-"

Kamui silenced Fuuma by pulling him down by jacket lapels into a kiss.

Silence befell. Remotely he discerned Subaru gasping a bit; perhaps wasn't expecting Kamui to act so bold in public. Neither was Kamui expecting that of himself, but he had to make a point. I'm just marking what's mine.

Kiss was more urgent and forceful than romantic; message had to be passed after all. After second or two Fuuma snapped out of utter shock and started kissing back just as ardently; got hands out of pockets and wrapped them around his waist. In that moment reality kicked in, Kamui realized just what exactly alleged jealousy made him do.

He broke the kiss momentary but damage was already done. Fuuma had cheeky grin in his face, like he just won the lottery. Kamui managed to break free of Fuuma's hold and step by his side; right between Subaru and him. Subaru was slightly flushed, probably from witnessing such unexpected display of affection, but his blush was far cry from how hard Kamui himself blushed.

Earth please open up and swallow me whole. Fuuma won't ever let me live with this.

Before either of them could comment, Kamui blunted out first thing that came to mind - "I'm here now. Let's go"

Pointless attempt to distract, he knew it won't work. Subaru simply nodded and agreed; three of them fell into step and headed towards planned location. Nonetheless Fuuma was basically oozing with merriment beside him, like a kid that just opened a candy jar. Cheeky bastard, Kamui couldn't help wondering if Fuuma somehow planned the whole thing knowing Kamui was observing from afar; just to embarrass him.

Second later arm ended up wrapped around his shoulders and frame. Kamui realized he was being pulled towards Fuuma's side. No, he didn't mind a little bit, even allowed himself to nuzzle closer to Fuuma; right in the middle of street; right in front of his twin. Fuuma ruffled his hair and leaned in to kiss cheek. Blush intensified, but Kamui allowed the affections; warm and fuzzy feeling emerged in chest, little to say he was relishing inside.

Pecks ended but Fuuma still didn't pull away; instead leaned closer and whispered into his ear - "That was the cutest thing I've ever seen in my life"

For once Kamui didn't shove him away for being handsy on public; he'd be a hypocrite after all. Instead he allowed Fuuma to caress and cuddle him in public; even went as far to wrap arm of his own around Fuuma's waist. Subaru observed them from few meter distance, content smile on his face; clearly glad to see them together. Beside the obvious embarrassment and ego crying from inside, Kamui couldn't help little smirk reaching up his face; he concealed it into Fuuma's shirt.

Goal fulfilled.

#thanks for prompt #i made fluff for once #tsubasa chronicle #kamui shirou #fuuma monou #subaru sumeragi #fuukam #kamui had -123838 braincells in this

[true-blue-sonic]

In a really bad panicked and stressed mood right now (it's 1 AM and I have to get up at 8 AM so it definitely isn't helping 😅😅) so I'm just,,, trying to imagine any random thing involving my comfort characters to hopefully calm myself enough to fall asleep

And naturally since I have one single braincell, I ended up thinking to myself "I wonder if Silver would also create scenarios in his head to distract himself from his negative thoughts and fall asleep easier?"

Oh no, I'm sorry to hear! D:

Silver does strike me as a type who is indeed very imaginative, yes. His dreams of a good future definitely might also be more daydream-like, wherein he's just imagining all sorts of wonderful things and how gorgeous and happy everything is going to be. And then he's pondering over how to get there and stuff, and what it'll be like: overall, he strikes me as a kind of character whose mind keeps him quite active. But that power is used mostly for happy things like imagining such good futures, or thinking about his friends and all the nice things they have done and will do together <3 I can certainly believe he has used that imagination before to also come up with scenarios and the like to distract himself from negative thoughts!

#I hope you'll be able to fall asleep soon!🍀 #silver the hedgehog

[kedreeva]

Im so fucking lucky my graphic tablets been rendered unusable by my stupid fucking laptops operating system because pretty people in skirts are one of my Top Weaknesses and i wouodve fucking considered NOT ONLY DRAWING IT but possibly attempting to fucking animate that shit (the hat throw too, becayse YES I HAVE UNFORTUNATELY READ THAT POST) and i absolutely DESPISE animating i am absolutely TERRIBLE at it

LISTEN SHUT THE FUCK UP YOU LITTLE SHIT at least like,, only one of them has ever been at my actual flat,, and i only ever made or bought food or otherwise financially or materially supported like,,, half of them,, and only ever played therapist and Adult To Come To™ for like 25 of them,, they mainly just see me on the street and ask me to play with them or stay with them for a bit or whatever anyway now that i think of it depending on how lax our definition of unofficial adoption is i might have like 5 to 10 more but i dont think those count if theyre in a different country and ive completely lost any way of communicating with them,,, right,,? Actually no do Not answer that

YOU DO NOT GET TO COME IN HERE AND BRIBE ME WITH A FUCKING FIC SO I DONT FAIL MY CLASS GODDAMN IT KEDREEVA

Anyway so i know just about NOTHING about the shop except for like 5 mentioms of it in fics but i do have Thoughts on the interpersonal relationship that robin and steve appear to exhibit and i absolutely fully declare that they EMANATE platonic soulmates vibes (maybe qp even if anyones feeling generous just sayin) anyway they are so fucking stupid and they are so fucking smart and they both have one braincell but they can only use it for the other person like one of them only gets to use their braincell if its in place of the others braincell using it for said persons benefit (robin maybe gets tk use half of hers for herself the rest od the time steve only gets a quarter) anyway they strike me as both so very codependent but also very much capable of taking care of themselves but yk yk like thoughts like wheres the line between codependence and relying on another so much simply because they are so Close to you emotionally that they are kind of a part of you anyway is there even a line is there a line and like just idk mate theyre such dumbasses (esp steve) and steve is such a fucking lost puppy (part of why he end up with a full litter of pups ig)

Anyway i do not know much about hopper but i was really rooting for him in this ine fukcing fic where steves parents are being abusive shitheads and hopper gets him thr fuck outta there and him and wayne lowkey fight over custody of steve for a split second but then i found out hes a cop so i was instantly like ehhhh yk what maybe lets not put so much faith in him right away and then i was checking out that cws last night befire watching out of curiosity (NO IS TILL HAVENT SEEN ANY OF IT I GOT DISTRACTED BY AO3 AGAIN TILL 4 AM) and a commenter said that hes a bit of a dipshit to eleven at some point so like hmm mixed feelings dont know enough (ie dont know shit) abiut canon to have any opinions i could back up with aby sort of argument on him specifically

AND YES I DO KNOW WHO DMITRI IS AND I HAVE ONLY SEEN HIS NAME ONCE IN YOUR DAMNED POST KEDREEVA

I know a teeny tiny bit about the russians doing some fucked up shit at some point in the series and steve and robin getting tortured or something (because there was this scebe in this one fic where steve would constantly sneak in through the windoe and sleep eith robin in her bed after that debacle cause neither could sleep or something alomg the lines of that it was SOFT ok it was H/C OK but anyeay ive got NO clue who that fucker really is i imagine him as eithe some average stereotypically russian looking man or like fucking dartagnan but like that twink version of hik dont ask me whats going on in my brain but as i said THOUGHTS and OPINIONS™ (which i am so very unqualified to give)

ALSO I JSUT NOTICED THE FUCKING TAG YOU USED FOR THE ASKS TOU FUXK YOU FUCKER YOU MOTHERFUCKER THATS VERY SWEET YOU FUCKKING FUCKER

And apologies for the novek length ask (hope tumblr doesnt eat it cayse it usually eats any long asks i try to send) and the immense amount of misspellings but i have been outside in the cold for about 5 hours in a thin leather jacket so my fingers are kinda freezing and its also drizzling so ohone slippery

I cannot believe your computer's operating system hates me, specifically, like this. The hat throw is essential I'll have you know. Like he actually really loves the outfit except for that!! fucking!!! hat!!!

I think it's sweeeeeeet! You adopted many children because you are kind and good to them!! You are loved by small innocent beings that recognize you will help them!!

I am justified in offering any bribe I want, tyvm! It's on you if you want to accept it after doing well. I will be proud of you finishing such a big task either way!

Steve and Robin are definitely platonic soulmates! If you watch nothing else of the show, you simply MUST see the bathroom floor scene between them, you will cry over them with the rest of us. I can also advise you see the scene where they're tied up in the Russian holding room, lying on the floor confessing things to each other. Breaks my heart. I love them so much. They deserve cuddles. They DID totally get captured by Russians but I think you're missing the important part. They got captured because they were down in that base on ACCIDENT. Dustin got them into this mess, with help from Robin, and Erica. Steve was practically just along for the ride. And then the Russians CAUGHT THEM wandering around the base, and Steve took 1 look at the situation, decided that not all of them were going to make it, SOMEONE had to get caught and it sure as hell wasn't going to be His Children, so he purposely stayed behind. And when he called out to Robin, because he knew he couldn't hold the door the Russians were trying to get through by himself long enough, Robin (who you MUST understand, she is brand new, she's known Steve for like... a month, she's known Dustin for a day or two, she's known Erica for a few hours, she doesn't even KNOW about the Otherworld Shenanigans yet, as far as she knows this is just about commies in the basement) takes one look at Steve, at Dustin and Erica, and she bolts to his side knowing full well she's gonna get captured, too. But they are gonna make sure the kids don't. together.

Hopper is COMPLICATED. He's an asshole, no mincing that. He was a child soldier, or close to it, who was experimented on w/ chemical warfare bullshit that ensured his military-group companions either couldn't have kids or their kids were messed up and died as babies. Hopper fell in love and had a child, a little girl, who died when she was little (five or six-ish?), and it broke him, and him breaking also broke his relationship with his wife. Over the course of the show you get to witness that he desperately, desperately, just wants Family (and by god, who does THAT sound like) and to make sure no kids are ever harmed if he can help it. He was serving as chief of police because he didn't really know what else to do with himself, and then The Horrors happened and he realized oh fuck my mission in life is to protect El (and what that looks like varies, because what he WANTS and what he is CAPABLE of doing are separated by a canyon at times, he is a disaster of a human being but he's trying and they love each other even when they're screaming at each other) and make sure none of these dumbasses get hurt around her. And then he goes and falls in love with the mom that loves her kids more than life. Like, don't get me wrong he's still a dick. He's just also full to the brim with love. And they killed him in season 3, but he's fine now.

Dmitri, my beloved. he was the prison guard that was trying to save Hopper and help him escape the russian prison he'd ended up in due to nonsense.

I went and personally grabbed this screenshot from my own copies of the show, just so I could show you his smile upon realizing that Hopper starting a fight w/ him so they could beat the shit out of each other was actually NOT because he hates Dmitri, but so that he could grab things off the guards that separated them, so they could use those things to fight monsters with together. Oh!!! They are still friends!!!

anyway I want them to have upside down shenanigans instead of russian prison shenanigans. they deserve to fight each other and monsters. I want married couple bickering. I want them to hate each other for a while, but band together to fight off worse threats, but fall back to fighting each other after. I want... one of them to be injured and the other has to take care of them because they don't wanna be alone. "I'm the only one that can kill you, dickhead."

I'm sorry I didn't get to this sooner, I went and did responsible things like write my nanowrimo story and tend my birds and clean some stuff. But you gave me smiles all day, and I appreciate that, you are lovely <3

#Anon asks #asks #stranger things #Anon (Delightful) #buckington besties #Jim Hopper #dmitri antonov #dash stretcher

[lazuli-writes]

Outtakes - 25 quotes from the Silver Quartet

summary: 25 random quotes from each member of the Silver Quartet.

genre: angst / fluff / humor

estimated word count: 1400 words

a/n: Just trying to get back into writing more. I have so much stuff for this series, but I’m struggling to refine it. Here’s a droplet fic for Slytherin’s resident four horsemen. Remember folks, copying other people’s works is plagiarism and that’s illegal. Don’t be that kind of person. Anyways, hope you all enjoy it :)

©little-lazuli. Do not copy, repost, or translate without permission

Tracey

“Areyougoinhtoeatthat?”

“It must be the galleons talking.”

“We’re like a failed Monty Python.”

“If having half the prat-blood you have makes me less than, than I’ll happily be less than.”

“So the beast wouldn’t attack any of us, right… just asking.”

“You filthy barbarian, fish and chips are a DELICACY! What are you, AMERICAN?!”

“What would your mum do if we were to break the uncooked pasta noodles?”

“Fun fact: I don’t care.”

“There’s enough oil in Snape’s hair to satisfy the needs of English fish frying for at least a decade.”

“I’m a witch, not a prophet.”

“I will strike down upon thee with great vengeance and furio- not a single one of you know which film I’m quoting right now.”

“Banoffee pie was a gift from the heavens.”

“Oh please, by the time we reach your age Professor, I’m sure at least one of us will have made a name for ourselves other than being stuck in a castle teaching delinquents the refined arts of magical cooking.”

“Run Theo! Run” *cue the laughter as she watches Theo run from being disciplined by Bartholomew Greengrass.

“I want the skeletons. Oh and the jewelry please!!”

“It’s almost as if I don’t care.”

“Daph, you’re forgetting the fact that Ron and Theo share the same braincell… Wait… I forgot you don’t know what a brain cell is.”

“Mutually assured destruction. Truce?”

“What crawled up her butt and died?”

“Oui oui” “Tracey I am Italian, NOT FRENCH!” “Yeah yeah whatever.”

“That’s a lot of deathies. They would probably need multiple Potters going separate ways to possibly make an escape.”

“Ron you’d be Ginger Spice, Daphne you’d be Posh Spice, Theo is Baby Spice and of course I’d be Scary Spice-“ “why can’t I be sporty spicy” “because you can’t even say their name correctly Theo.”

“Do you think you’ll find something as perfect as they did?”

“Over the hills and a long way off…”

“Theo… I’ll be with you soon…”

Daphne

“So the first place you choose to hide is in a room with dead bodies?”

“She looks like the love child of a troll and a fairy.”

“Stupid mirror.”

“Ronald, why is our potion pink?”

“Father is gonna kill you two for going into the chamber you know…”

“You. Ate. My. Cauldron. Cakes.”

“You tell Ron anything and I WILL tell Tracey how you find her lips very interesting lately.”

“For a dirty stray, he does kind of look like Falkor.”

“You won’t look like that when you get old, right Ron?”

“So blue is out of the question. I guess the typical silver would look nice.”

“Do you think he found u-AHHHHHHH!”

“All I know is that I lay claim to any and all dresses, cloaks, shawls and the likes. Any clothes in this room is MINE.”

“A quintaped has five limbs.”

“Harpy, veela, vulture… same thing.”

“He’s more of a man than you will ever be.”

“It was Theo and Ron’s idea.”

“He had the breath of a damn merling!”

“You gave my parents the greatest gift they could have ever gotten in that moment… hope that their daughters… their family will survive this war. You gave them hope.”

“Not even death can dispute my love for you, Ronald Bilius Weasley. I would be blessed to be able to call you my love, my partner, my friend and my husband for eternity. By these vows… I declare, I do.”

“I think insanity is a social construct. We may think he’s unhinged beyond compare… but he’s definitely the hero in her world.”

“I killed a child Ron! How can you still look me in the eye and say you love me! HOW?”

“I’ve never killed a mutt before.”

“He asked to take my name. He felt that he had no right to give a name he was deemed unworthy of.”

“It is hard to play a game when you don’t know the rules.”

“Say hello to mother and father for me sis. I’m gonna miss you… so much.”

Theodore

“Why do you look like that?”

“Sectersuper?” “Sectum—sempra” “shut up Weasley.”

“Auntie!! Daphne and Tracey are breaking the pasta noodles!”

“You have troll breath.”

“You didn’t have to do that. You’re not bad Weasley. Not bad at all.”

“I would have called him a filthy spawn of inbreeding but then… that would have also… applied… to-“ “SHUT UP THEO!” “What, it’s the truth Daph!”

“Oh yes, because the lion is the most amazing creature in the world. *eye roll* When a lion talks and starts killing witches and wizards, talk to me then Weasel.”

“I didn’t mean for Malfoy to call you Weasel. Accident, truly it was!”

“Why are you always staring at Ron?”

“Why would he think he even had a chance with Trace?! He looks like the love child of a hag and a house elf.”

“I’m telling you my dear cousin, that Malfoy has been staring at Ronald’s bottom almost as much as he was staring at yours.”

“I’m gonna be a rich man!!” “You already are a rich man Theo.” “Then I’m gonna be an even richer man!! I call dibs on all weapons!!”

“I don’t know why!! I was too busy saving your sister to think ‘oh how much money is this worth’.”

“It’s not my fault you failed to save mother.”

“God save the witches and wizards.”

“I’m not staring at Tracey you imbecile!”

“You cannot be both annoying and lacking magical prowess. Please pick one failure to endure.”

“If you must know, banoffee pie is actually scrumptious. If you are going to advertise your lack of taste, please do so away from my presence.”

“Why do we have to go back to Ron’s old bat of an aunt? She’s so mean.”

“If you wanna be my friend… you gotta get with my… other friends.” “Horrible rendition sporty spicy.” “Shut up Ron!!”

“I wanna live in a small cottage when I choose to settle down. I want a place surrounded and engulfed by all of my favorite plants.”

“Still got troll breath I see.”

“I wish I could see what is it you see every time you look at me Trace.”

“I love her. So damn much.”

“DON’T YOU TOUCH HER!!!”

Ronald

“Do you have an eye problem?”

“Theo has a bag of bezoars for a brain.”

“Daphne will kill us if she knows what we’re doing and Tracey will laugh at us if we get hurt. I already know.”

“Stupid mirror.”

“You hear that Tracey, us peasants mustn’t talk anymore.”

“Do you think Snape has a pet under that robe? He always smells.”

“Potter, Granger and Longbottom seem to have this obsession with all things ‘not their business’ that it’s actually quite funny at times.”

“Me and you remember Valentine’s Day very differently.”

“Bill and Charlie ran away the first chance they got. Percy has a superiority complex, Fred is sadistic. George just thinks Fred’s farts smell amazing, and Ginny has this weird habit of hero worshipping people who aren’t heroes.”

“Theo… could you think of anything else other than… her.” “Shove off and stay out of my head Ron.”

“Bloody bint… that thing is worse than Snape…” “Ron that was a quintaped.” “An ugly one at that!”

“Some of my family has this… belief that I’ve been ingenuous about my character. When really, they just don’t seem to understand me all that much.”

“I.. don’t know… I can’t find the words to tell you how I’m feeling Daph.”

“Muggles do have the big boom booms. What are they called again? Nookies?” “Nukes Ron.” “Oh.”

“How do you think she’ll kill us for leaving? Do you think she’ll really castrate me?”

“You want to… marry me? Why?”

“Auntie, if you turn me away now, I’m literally gonna slap you with my hand.” *proceeds to wave his amputated arm, much to the silent horror of Muriel Prewett*

“There will never be a second in this lifetime or the next, that I will ever stop loving you Daphne. You bless me with the honor of being able to call you mine and I yours. By these vows I declare, I do.”

“Still sour about the Manor Lady Lestrange? If it’s any consolation, your husband’s wand works wonderfully.”

“I mean I could… but why would I want to do that Daph?”

“All I ever wanted was to be a real Weasley, dad. And I fucked that up the moment that hat screamed Slytherin.”

“And now we are both here. Rotting in Azkaban. Yet only one of us has any chance of leaving.”

“You what?” “I gave birth Ron.” “. . .You were pregnant?”

“This is your grandma and grandpa. That’s your aunties Tracey and Tori, and your funny uncle Theo.”

“Daphne did you hear!! Albus is a Slytherin HAHAHAHAHAH I can’t wait to shove that in Ginny and Harry’s face.”

#lazuli writes #hp headcanon #hp fanfcition #hp fanfic #ron weasley #ronald weasley #slytherin ron weasley #slytherin ronald weasley #ronald weasley fanfic #ron weasley fanfiction #ron weasley headcanon #ronald weasley fanfiction #ron weasley fanfic #ron weasly imagine #ron weasley angst #ron weasley fluff #ronald weasley headcanon #theodore nott fanfiction #daphne greengrass #theodore nott #tracey davis #daphne greengrass fanfiction #tracey davis fanfiction #fanfic info post #fanfic quotes

[probablygoblins]

A Comprehensive List of my F/Os

Hello Tumgle.Cum :)

Here, I will document all of my F/Os, and why I decided to wife them up. This is absolutely an excuse to yell about my blorbos, and you couldn’t stop me if you tried. All of this is MY OWN INTERPRETATION of the following characters. Canon can suck my dick :)

Ghiaccio

Ah, my original Best Boy! Husband Prime, if you will. I was barely into JJBA the first time I saw this idiot. I took one look at him and went “Yep, that’s him. He’s the one. That’s my next hyperfixation.” And I never looked back. Did I even know his name at the time? No. Did that stop me from thirsting after him? No. I needed that ice dick like I need air.

First of all, his design is amazing. I love the mostly monochrome design with the pops of red! It looks like he’s wearing converse, which is amazing in it of itself. He looks so cute in his glasses. And the hair? The hair is immaculate. Ghiaccio’s curls make me wanna run around my room banging my fists on the walls and floor and my desk. They look SO SOFT. If I ran my fingers through that man’s hair I would be RUINED. And I know, canonically, he’s always making ugly faces. But I think they’re so endearing. And when he’s not making gremlin faces, he’s so damn handsome.

Personality-wise? That man is the biggest tsundere and you CANNOT convince me otherwise. He is an enraged wet kitten hiding under a box. I am picking him up by the scruff of the neck and holding him as he takes swipes at me. Angey lil boy makes me go doki-doki. Ghiaccio strikes me as the type to be super cold when you first meet him, no pun intended. He doesn’t like to engage, and he doesn’t like to get close to too many people. But if you can get past the icy exterior, he can be so warm and sweet in his own way. His love language is definitely quality time. He’d just love to sit next to me and play games and bask in my presence.

Hol Horse

Can someone say HIMBO? First time I laid eyes on him, I knew. This man is a big fucking idiot. And the further I got into SDC, the more it solidified my opinion. Thing is, I love idiots, and I am also a bit of an idiot, so we’re a match made in heaven :)

Hol just looks so... dusty. A dusty crust man. A stinky ol’ cowboy. Probably a bit older, but has none of the wisdom that comes with age. He has 3 braincells. Two are dedicated to guns and horses, and the remaining one is always thinking about ME >:D His color scheme is really pleasant, and his pants? Exquisite. They may not be assless chaps, but I adore them anyway. And his weird double shirt thing he has going on is charming. And the FUCKING SIDEBURNS. AWOOOOOGA.

Overall, Hol is just so funny and charming. He may be a villain, but he’s a villain I adore. Nothing ever goes right for him, and he doesn’t exactly take it in stride, but he presses on nonetheless. Whatever antics he gets up to never fail to make me laugh. Love me a big goofy, dusty cowboy. I’m always thinking about the good western-style romance we could have. Going on long horse rides together, where one of us falls of and has to rescue the other. Dancing under the stars. Drinking on the front porch and making of fun of each other, dying of laughter. Deep down, Hol’s a big mischievous golden retriever. And he’s perfect.

Prosciutto

I blame @jellyluchi for this one. She exposed me to a hot old man, and I am left to wallow in the consequences of her actions. In all seriousness, I didn’t used to be that into him. I thought he was kinda mean. After consuming way too much fanfic and art of Prosciutto, I still think he’s mean, but now I’m SUPER INTO IT. He is so SEXY and MEAN and DOMINANT and I want him to STEP ON ME with his OLD MAN BOOTS.

I mean, have you SEEN HIM. He’s just so dapper!!! The colors of his suit? SEXY AS FUCK. The ascot? I want to pull it off him, and then I want him to tie my wrists with it. Or maybe tie his wrists with it. Whatever works. The deep V-neck is so fucking slutty, and I can do nothing but stare at those glorious boobies. I love his hair, too. Prosciutto’s hair is so unique. I’ve never seen anything like it, but it’s so pretty. 10/10 Old Man design.

Like I said before, this man is MEAN. He is NOT USED to being emotionally vulnerable, and covers it up by being a dick. He would definitely make me cry a couple times, but he’s so old and rich and emotionally stupid, he doesn’t know what to do. So he just... throws money at me. And I can laugh at how awkward he is trying to apologize. And when he’s not being mean and awkward, he’s so tender. And sweet. And cuddly. He’d wrap me up in his arms and lay me on his chest, telling me how beautiful he thinks I am. And if that’s not what I get in an IRL relationship, I DON’T WANT IT!!!!!!!

Cioccolata

Oh boy... this bitch... another man I got into because of fancontent. If you don’t know already, I am the biggest fattest slut for pet play. It’s in my top 3 kinks. And then I read a series of headcanons about being Cioccolata’s puppy, and it was all over for me. His is moldy and gross and a terrorist. But he’s my moldy gross terrorist.

Idfk what to say about his appearance, he’s just.. mold. His hair looks like mushroom, or perhaps seaweed. He’s hot weird green face paint. His eyes are funky. He wears half a thong. And yet... he just looks so fun. It’s a fun design. I wanna pull on his mushroom hair and call him Doctor~

Cioccolata is a nasty, terrible man. But my brand has sort of become simping for awful terrible men, so there’s really nothing new here. His voice is sexy in both sub and dub. He may be insane, but he’s sexy. And I love when a crazy insane evil guy has their Person(or Persons) that they’re soft for. Just... Cioccolata who’s so crazy and evil in public. He’s still kinda crazy and evil in private, but he’s more of a crackhead than anything. Random headpats. Staying up til 4am watching horror movies. Participating in whatever weird experiments he’s doing, and bantering about it. I love villain love <3

Secco

What’s better than ONE pet play-obsessed thot? TWO OF THEM, OF COURSE!!! I knew a little about Cio before watching Vento Aureo, but I had ZERO INFO about Secco. And as soon as I saw him running around like a feral possum and fucking shit up, I knew. That’s my soulmate.

Secco’s design is pretty simple, all things consider. You only ever see him in the suit, but the suit is honestly... kind of sexy. What little we can see of his face is big and fucked up. But I LOVE big fucked up eyes and hyper-detailed teeth. Like, sir? Sir??? Please bite me. I need it. Without the suit, I think he’s just a fairly skinny, pale dude. He’s probably got a lot of scars from Cio doing experimental surgery on him, but he’s a freak and he’s into it. I’m a proud part of the Blue Hair Secco Cult. He has indigo hair and it’s messy and curly and falls down his neck and it’s FUCKING HOT.

I love the duality of “acting as a man’s dog” and “striving to be better and important”. He’s a fucked up little guy. He’s feral and loves to go crazy and tear shit apart. But he’s really smart in his own right, and probably has trouble articulating it, cuz he’s so used to being a dog. But he loves letting go and being a little creature. I’d love to just lose all my inhibitions and go batshit with him. I wanna wrestle with all night long, and get dirty in the garden. He loves to do stuff with his hands. But he’s also happy to just sit next to each other and draw. And I love that.

Hazamada

So... uhhhhh.... hmmm... *sweats* I just... I saw a really good piece of art of him, from before Araki babygirlified him. Not, like, BUFF Hazamada, but just a real cool-looking, skinny alt Hazamada. That was it. That was all it took. I am weak for greasy alt boys. Don’t look at me.

Hazamada is literally juts Some Goth. He looks like a wet greasy napkin. Hasn’t slept in his entire life. Spends all his time watching anime and drawing fucked-up questionable shit. But, y’know? That’s part of his charm. I love the sleek glossy black hair. His coat looks badass, and his stand is super cool. There’s not much to his design, but I love it all the same. Dumbass Edgy Alt Hazamada supremacy.

He’s just so weird and unhinged. We didn’t get a lot of him in the series, and what little we got was rather violent. But we love that for him. Love me a fucked up little guy. Fucked up little weeb men own my heart. I HC him to be kind of depressed, and with deep-seated anger issues from loneliness. He needs a hug. Therapy, mostly, but also a hug. And I am happy to hug him and inhale the smell of paper and ink. I just know he’s an artist. Draw a lot of surrealist art, and scenes from his favorite anime series. I’d love to sit and watch him draw and talk about nothing for hours. And afterwards, we can binge watch his favorite series, and I can watch how his eyes light up at the climactic scenes.

Mikitaka

EIRIAN, ANATA NO EIIIIIRIAAAAAAN!!!! God, I loved Miki from the first episode he showed up in. He’s so weird. And so very Gender. Clueless Non-Human is one of my favorite tropes. Sometimes he’s a little awkward, but aren’t we all? And I would absolutely eat the ice cream made from his fingers.

LOOK. AT. THIS. MAN. He is TOO DAMN PRETTY. The hair. The eyes. The nose ring connected to his elegant ears. I could swoon right now. All the charms on his outfit are so well-designed, and I’ve taken the time to study each of them. My favorite flavor of Miki is in the Super Fly episode where his hair is all curly. HE IS JUST. SO. PRETTYYY!!!!!!

And oh my God, he’s adorable. He’s so sweet and awkward. He just wants to make friends and do the right thing. He’s not quite sure how to act just yet, but he’s doing his best. Whatever he does, he puts his whole heart into, and I admire him. I could teach him so many things and take him so many places. Get him a milkshake. Stargaze with him. Tell him about Earth constellations while he tells me about the stars he recognizes. Pet dogs with him. I want to show him everything and watch him grow.

Keicho

Hehe... well, I did say I liked terrible men, didn’t I? But I’m a slut for a redemption arc, and I WILL make it happen. WATCH ME. I honestly fell for him watching the live-action DIU movie(which you should totally watch btw). Not because I like Actor Keicho. I actually think he looks kinda funny. But that got me thinking about how cool manga and anime Keicho were. And, well, now I love him. So that’s that.

His design actually isn’t all that cool to me. He looks like a dork. But who’s gonna teach him how to dress? His dead mom? His weird goblin of a dad? It’s not his fault he looks like a goober. The ‘BADCO’ logo on his collar is a nice touch, though. Oh, and DON’T get me started on the hair. His hair is a disaster. Wtf is it even supposed to be??? Keicho. Sweetheart. Love of my life. Please go outside. Look at a normal person. DO YOUR DAMN HAIR LIKE A REGULAR GUY.

Keicho’s personality shown in the series isn’t what really draws me too him. It’s the potential hidden in that personality. Imagine if he got to live and had to deal with the grief of all the death he’s caused. And knowing that there’s still part of his dad left in what DIO created of him. He thinks he’s a monster, and perhaps he is. But he doesn’t have to stay that way. He needs a good mix of comfort for his mental and emotional wounds, and a kick in the ass for his arrogance and stubbornness. But I think he could come back. I’d hold his hand until he could walk confidently on his own, and even after that.

#self ship #self ship community #jojos bizzare adventure #jjba headcanons #f/o imagines #my f/os #f/o stuff #ghiaccio #prosciutto #hol horse #cioccolata #jjba secco #mikitaka hazekura #toshikazu hazamada #keicho nijimura #jjba stardust crusaders #jjba diamond is unbreakable #jjba vento auero #GoblinsWrites

[empires-au-ideas]

Three skulls.

The WRA all immediately go all younger siblings on Joey. Everytime they see him with Xornoth there's just a chorus of "oooooh-" s.

Pearl isn't technically corrupted, but she then goes all wine aunt.

Joey: please get these little gremlins off of my wings-

Pearl, sipping wine (pog juice): you're doing great sweetie.

Joey, having to be the bigger man for the first time ever:

Also if the three of them weren't so useful Xornoth would have killed all three by now. Fwhip and his explosions, Gem and Sausage being frighteningly efficient together, Pearl's mastery over weapons.

But also if they phrase it right, Xornoth could get the WRA to do nearly anything.

Fwhip: wait, really?!

Xornoth: correct.

Gem, ecstatic: House Blossom has waged a prank war on us... and you want us three to inactive revenge?!

Xornoth: yes. Lady Katherine is a beast pranker. Make sure you go all out, just like you do to Codfather Jimmy.

Sausage: ha! Done and done!

Fwhip: I do have a few new trinkets I've been wanting to try...

Xornoth: perfect! Hurry up now, there's no telling when she'll strike next

Xornoth soon learn that the more you assemble the WRA, the less braincells they have.

#three skulls au #empires smp #empires smp au #empires smp s1