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welcometothejianghu · 3 months

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Welcome to another round of W2 Tells You What You Should See, where W2 (me) tries to sell you (you) on something you should be watching. Today's choice: 心宅猎人/Psych-Hunter.

Psych-Hunter is a 2020 drama about a hot young amnesiac who, accompanied by a rich psychiatrist with major daddy issues and a rich girl who cosplays as a cop, uses his Inception-style psychic powers to solve crimes that are part of a shadowy conspiracy orchestrated by a mysterious figure.

True story: Once I couldn't remember the English name of the drama, so I called it "House Haunters," and now my brain insists that's the real English title. If only!

Do not, under any circumstances, labor under the impression that this show is good. It's not. It's incoherent. The writing is bad. The villain is absurd. The vibe is comically melodramatic. People make inexplicable and out-of-character decisions all the time. Countless complex mysteries get set up with no way to resolve them. There's a thin lampshade hanging over it that blurs the line between bad decisions made on accident and bad decisions made on purpose, but the net result is largely the same. This is the show that first inspired my wife to declare something dumb as a guinea pig in a roller skate.

But it's fun. It's a sea of colorful chaos with brilliant pieces that shine through like strange gems. It knows how to work an atmosphere and does so to create some legitimately creepy moments. It spins a wild yarn filled with bizarre and loveable characters. And it has some twists that truly have to be seen to be believed. In the mood for some beautiful nonsense? Here's five reasons that despite everything I warned you about in the previous paragraph, I think this one's worth watching.

1. Psychonauts for Jazz Age homosexuals

Honestly, that phrase alone should let you know if this is the thing for you. But just in case, let me explain the basic premise of the show:

Jiang Shuo, a man who has lost his memory and been adopted by circus folk, is capable of jingling his keys and diving full-body into someone else's subconscious, represented by lovely and thematic dreamscapes. He does this to solve crimes. Sometimes he takes along a handsome doctor who seems like he might know more than he's letting on, by literally tying their hands together with a red string.

Also, when they do this, they get gorgeous steampunk magical girl costume changes, complete with the cutest little pony nub you've ever seen.

This show can be stunningly beautiful. It knows how to manifest dream logic eerily well. Most of these cognitions are gorgeous, and many are done with primarily practical effects, like it's a stage play. ...And it's good it relies on that so much, because the CG it has is kinda cheap and terrible! So, yeah.

(Side note for the DMBJ fans: This is directed by the same guy who directed Sand Sea, which I assume is related to how this both is a visual treat and completely falls apart on the back end.)

The reason I'm a bit surprised that this hasn't taken off more among the creative set is what a great piece of worldbuilding this Psych-diving is. These boys (and, once, the girl) get to short-term manifest bodily in someone else's materialized mental state, where the person whose brain they’re in neither controls the experience nor remembers what happened after it’s done. Were you writing weird Arthur/Eames fic a decade ago? I got a new best thing for you. Can you say freaky dream sex? Because I can.

The base premise should be more than enough to get your gears going. Come ready to get weird with it. There's so much potential here, and so much of that potential is incredibly gay and wearing impeccably tailored suits.

2. Your friendly neighborhood circus family

As I mentioned before, Jiang Shuo lucks into the best possible fate that can befall an amnesiac: being picked up by carnies.

The troupe includes Ventriloquist Man, Really Big Dude, One-Eyed Acrobat, Other Acrobat, Cheerful Fat Girl, Boy Who Looks Like A Kid But Is Actually Played By An Adult So I'm Not Exactly Sure How Old The Character Himself Is Supposed To Be, and Silver Fox Circus Dad, who manages the whole crew. They're a ragtag bunch of performers who all live together in this cute little compound in some very nice slums, and sometimes they open the gates to their lavish compound and put on a circus show for all the common people!

Now: You know this is not going to be the wokest, most sensitive portrayal of body differences, because of course it isn't. But damn, it's pretty not-bad. The show treats all the circus members as valuable people worthy of affection, whose (occasionally exasperating) quirks are no more or less exhausting than those of the non-circus weirdos in the rest of the supporting cast.

I was half-expecting them to disappear after the first arc, but no! They’re a constant fixture through the show! They’re mostly there to support the show’s more comedic moments, but some of them get wrapped up in more emotional plotlines as well. And every now and then you get to see them actually do their circus shit, which is great.

I will admit that my fondness for them is related to how much I generally love fictional Freaks — you know, misfits who have banded together because society considers them unacceptably weird, but together their weirdnesses make them strong. When you find them, they’re usually the bad guys (e.g., the Gung-Ho Guns from Trigun, the Scorpion crew from Word of Honor) whose freak statuses make them formidable and occasionally sympathetic antagonists. But not so here! The Psych-Hunter Family Circus is good guy support all the way through to the final episode.

I know "found family" is a term that suffers from overuse, but that's the best way to describe what's happening here -- really, it's a family that's already found itself even before the show starts, and now they all live together as an unconventional collective of astonishingly flexible people. How did they find one another? Doesn't matter! What matters is that they all love and would do anything for their newest member, and they think it's great when he comes home with his attractive rich friends, who often arrive bringing snacks, which is really the best use for rich people, if you think about it.

3. Two hands, one ring

Now, if you've seen the series already, you know the moment I'm talking about. But if you haven't (and, statistically, you haven't), know that what I mean is the relationship between these two losers.

Together, Qin Yiheng and Jiang Shuo form the emotional core of the series. They're both drawn to one another because of mysterious circumstances that have started to align. Jiang Shuo's memory is missing, Qin Yiheng's dad has vanished, and all signs point to those absences as having something to do with one another.

Very early in the show, we see Qin Yiheng pull a "come with me if you want to live" on Jiang Shuo, giving the impression that he knows just what's going on in this crazy city. Except, no, he doesn't. Or does he? No, we're pretty sure he doesn't. Or he does, but he's forgotten what he knows, if he ever even knew it in the first place. Anyway, time to tie their hands together and jump into someone else's brain!

I'd say they're in love, but that's not quite it. Dr. Qin Yiheng, high-class homosexual, is in love with Jiang Shuo to the point where he's about to murder someone (possibly Jiang Shuo himself) out of frustration about it. Jiang Shuo, on the other hand, is much more sticking his fingers in his ears and going LA LA LA YOU CAN'T CATCH ME GAY THOUGHTS while trying get a girlfriend in an effort to pretend that all the shit they get up to together isn't tremendously romantic.

That is, until the scene that leads to the which-hand ring guessing game, at which point the burden of their relationship falls on Jiang Shuo (and the Inception parallels get unignorable) for exactly as long as the show will allow it to, before it freaks out and has to add another girl love interest just to make sure all the homos got no'd.

It's not textually gay, because seriously, have you met Chinese television? But it's pretty gay. Or, rather, I think Liu Dongqin (Qin Yiheng) is playing his character as a dedicated homosexual on purpose, and Hou Minghao (Jiang Shuo) is just ... kinda like that? I mean, everything I’ve seen him in, he gets real dreamy-eyed around strong men who pay close attention to him. Maybe it's just his thing as an actor. I'm not judging.

However, the main cast isn't just the two of them. One of the things that led me to this show was the promise of an OT3. And does it deliver on that promise?

Well ... sorta.

Qin Yiheng, Jiang Shuo, and Yuan Muqing are a pretty standard MFM not-love-triangle trio of Male Bestie, Main Guy, and Girlfriend (respectively). There's about five seconds at the beginning of the series where it looks like Yuan Muqing might be into Qin Yiheng, but no, that evaporates almost instantly and is never spoken of again -- and with it disappears most of their interactions with one another, period. So it's less an OT3, and more a case of bisexual cutiepie Jiang Shuo getting both a boyfriend and a girlfriend in a world where censorship will only let the latter relationship exist textually.

But damn if these boys aren't made for one another. Sure, there's a level of conscious comical queerbaiting to it -- I mean, there's straight-up an "only one bed" moment, so you know the show isn't stumbling into rainbow territory on accident. No matter how sexual or nonsexual or whatever you read it as, though, their dynamic is the spine that holds the story together. Really, it's almost sad how often the relationships are set parallel to one another, because when you do that, it becomes obvious how intense Jiang Shuo's bond with Qin Yiheng is, and how largely lackluster and comphet most of his canon romance with Yuan Muqing is by comparison.

Like so.

sidebar: The Girl

I am not going to go into a full-throated defense of The Girl this time, as I am wont to do, mostly because I think Yuan Muqing is full of potential in concept but so badly executed that there's really no hope for her. Her entire personality is whatever they need her to be in any particular scene. It's just that once in a while, what they need her to be is completely insane -- like, seeing-things-that-aren't-there insane -- and it's so great that it makes me mad! She could have been like this all the time! But noooooo

As it is, she has a perfunctory canonical romance with Jiang Shuo that's about as endgame as anything is capable of being (see point 5), and it actually gets pretty cute when it finally gets to the point where it's not just awkward obligation! But alas, it only does that so late in the series that it's not even worth it getting invested in it.

She is a creation of the show. She has no novel counterpart. Her entire function in the drama is to un-gay the dynamic between the boys. You can tell that she was initially supposed to have a different role -- to be the muscle of this trio -- but the narrative forgets pretty quickly that she's got that skill set, and she regresses to being The Girl. She makes dumb decisions that forward the plot. She gets put into danger whenever it's convenient. She demands Jiang Shuo do manly things for her because that’s what a girl is supposed to do, I guess? And then there are moments where she’s cool and crazy and it’s awesome! But they never last.

So if you are going to watch this, be prepared for the fact that the female lead is badly written to the point of frustration. I feel her actor is doing the absolutely best with what she's got; the problem is that what she's got is pretty crappy. Still, Muqing gets some pretty charming moments here and there, and I think it's worth hanging onto those and imagining the character she could have been, if the writers had cared just a little more, or even at all.

4. Powerfully surreal worldbuilding

I'm not even talking about the way people's psyches are structured according to dream logic -- the "normal" waking world is almost equally bizarre. The story takes place in sort of the real world c. 1930, except that a lot of things are off. For example, Japan and England are real locations, but China kinda isn't -- instead, the show takes place in a Shanghai-like city-state run by this moustachioed generalissimo with a faux Latin American dictator aesthetic. The place has its own flag and government and police force (where all the cops have coordinating surnames) and diplomatic relationships with other countries, so it’s clearly its own thing. But what that thing is? What it’s even called? Look, don’t worry about it. Nobody else is worried, so you shouldn’t be either.

You will, at every point in the series, be wondering if the show is trying to telegraph to you that Something's Not Quite Right Here, or if it's just making weird decisions for the sake of artsy weirdness. But don't worry -- there's absolutely no way to tell the difference between the two! Just roll with it.

There's a weird mix of universe rules happening throughout, where everything is mostly period-appropriate for a while, and then somebody builds a clock with levitating parts, or causes someone else to have very specific memory loss — or, again, swings some coins in front of a person’s face and gains the ability to treat their subconscious like a VR amusement park.

You can sort of reconstruct the evolution of this weirdness: The book has actual factual ghosts in it. Well, that’s fine for books, but TV isn’t allowed to have ghosts. But TV can have people who imagine ghosts, so long as it’s all in their heads. Okay, but you know jumping bodily into those imaginations isn’t actually a thing real people can do, right? Well, then let’s make it scientific. How can that be scientific? I don't know, it’s psychiatry. I don’t think that’s psychiatry. Look, it could be. Well, it’s definitely not psychiatry in 1930s Shanghai, and that’s the set we’re allowed to film on. Okay, what if it weren’t actually Shanghai? What if it weren’t actually 1930? What if all of this were at best a weird approximation of the period that adheres to no rules except the ones we want?

Once you’ve thought that, the sky’s the limit.

The show has a very inconsistent grasp on reality, and I am listing that as a pro instead of a con because I am choosing to embrace it as a deliberate choice rather than assume it’s the result of craven incompetence. There's something to be said, though, for how pervasively inconsistent it is. It'd be one thing if there were just a few plot holes here and there (and there are), but this is more along the lines of: We woke up in a mysterious boat and got taken to an island with a giant sea monster skeleton on the shore! What's that all about? Couldn't say! Was it real? Maybe! Moving on!

Let the number of "it's fine! who knows!" comments I've made throughout this rec indicate how much this is the kind of show you just have to roll with. If you are a nitpicker or someone who is troubled by unexplained nonsense, this is not the thing for you. If you love artistic magical realism and high strangeness, you will eat this up with a spoon.

And the lampshade that hangs over all of this worldbuilding is...

5. THE STUPIDEST POSSIBLE ENDING EVER

Okay, usually I am coy about when I think an ending has problems. I am going to drag this one out front and center: Psych-Hunter has an ending so jaw-droppingly, head-clutchingly stupid that I'm actually listing it as a selling point, because it has to be seen to be believed.

When I first watched it, I suspected the show ran out of time or money or something and just had to slap together the quickest possible ending ever. But no! This is the ending they meant! If you go back to the rest of the series, you can see that this is what they were (kinda) setting up the whole time! They just set it up so poorly and decided to make the twist hit at such a late point that not only is it complete nonsense, it actually renders moot the entire emotional stakes of the show! Absolutely incredible!

Now, as I've said before in other places, I don't begrudge the actual twist itself. I mean, it's stupid on its face, but I think they could have done something with it — if they'd had it happen halfway through the series, when the characters would have had time to adjust to the new knowledge. Instead, they slap it on at the last possible moment, when there's no time to have any reaction to it. It's just jarring and baffling, and then the whole thing's over.

I've seen lots of people say "season 2 when???" Season 2 never, friends. There was never going to be a season 2. The only reason you think this was an even remotely acceptable narrative move was that you were assuming that this would be the midpoint, not the end. You're having the same reaction I did, only I can tell this was always meant to be their spectacular dismount.

(To me, it's clear what happened: They J.J. Abramsed themselves into a cool premise for a mystery with no idea how to solve it, hoping they'd figure it out along the way. When they got to the end and still hadn't figured it out, they simply ... opted out of solving it.)

Now, if you want a normal viewing experience out of this show, watch to the end of the next-to-last episode, close your browser window, and have imagination adventures about how you think all the mysteries should resolve. But you're not going to. You are going to continue on to that last episode, and you are going to realize that nothing I could have said here could possibly have prepared you for this. And somewhere, I am going to feel the urge to cackle wickedly and not even know why. Except I'll know why. We'll both know why.

Want to watch this hot mess?

That baby's an iQiyi exclusive! But you can watch the first episode on YouTube, if you feel like getting a taste that way.

Look, I know I may have spoiled my pitch somewhat with that last selling point. After all, why would you bother watching a series if you know it has a shit ending?

I refute your objection thus: Knowing it has a shit ending changes the whole game, because it removes the feeling of betrayal that hits upon your discovering that the ending isn’t what you wanted. You know that already now, so there can be no betrayal. The ending goes from being an unpleasant surprise to being exactly the unexpected thing that you expected. With that in mind, you can dive right in (ha ha) knowing that you’ll never get the closure you crave, and therefore whatever you make up along the way is perfectly valid.

This is obviously a turnoff if you prefer shows that are like seeing someone start a magic trick, perform it without breaking a sweat, and walk off calmly, leaving you wondering how on earth they accomplished such an amazing thing. Think of this more as someone starting a magic trick, accidentally letting the rabbit fall out of their hat, saying “I meant to do that!” like thirty times, and suddenly vanishing through a trapdoor, leaving you wondering what the trick was even supposed to be in the first place — but they were really good-looking and well-dressed, so at least whatever they were doing was nice to look at while it was happening.

See? They're having fun.

#psych-hunter #心宅猎人 #house haunters #i made this #rec post #please watch this and then write more fic for it #I have a very selfish agenda here

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dangertoozmanykids101 · 4 months

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Toozmanykids Writing Prompt

OMG. I am laughing so hard that I don't even remember why I opened YouTube this morning in the first place. This John Mulaney short automatically started playing and immediately I knew it had to be a Writing Prompt for today. Right??? At least a drabble?

Here. I'll start.

Unfortunately, no smut. It was going to be quick and funny quips at each other, yet I don't think it turned out that way by the time I got done. BUT AT LEAST THIS PROMPT GOT ME WRITING! RIGHT? Now it's your turn, y'all!

SUMMARY: No smut. Just Avengers getting on each other's nerves. Not as funny as it should've been. Damnit.

No warnings.

Word count: 730

Do you believe in ghosts?

The Quinjet had been circling for hours a ways off shore, low to the water to avoid detection, while two dozen of Tony's surveillance drones quietly searched miles of coastline for the mission's target. Four friendly neighborhood Avengers waited patientły impatiently aboard, going stir crazy quicker than anyone would admit.

The silence was thick and tense, but far more preferable to the alternative.

"Hey Mr. Stark—"

"Don't. Just don't," Tony cut off the eager new Avenger. The other two passengers groaned at the sound of Peter's voice. Again.

"But—"

"I swear if you ask me one more 'Would You Rather...?' question, I will rip Charlotte's Web right out of your insides, wrap you up into a perfect spider snack, and feed you to that starving pig."

"Geezus, Tony. Wilbur would never have eaten Charlotte," Natasha pretended to placate Tony, not even attempting to hide her smirk.

"No. No. It's not another 'Would You Rather...?' question, I promise. I got that message loud and clear the second time Miss Romanoff held a blade to my throat." Peter's hand travelled up to his throat while his other waved at Tony in surrender.

Natasha gave Peter a tiny wink when he glanced over his shoulder and offered her a sheepish and awkward smile.

"I told you, she doesn't joke when she's holding a knife," Tony cautioned again.

"Yes, she does! All the time."

"The kid's right, Tony," Natasha admitted. "I prefer to stay unpredictable."

"So Mr. Stark," Peter quickly changed the subject, still gently rubbing his neck. "Do you believe in ghosts?"

"Of course I do," Tony answered without hesitation or even a glance away from the computer screen.

"Seriously? Even after all we've seen?" Peter moved forward, leaning closer to Tony.

Natasha spun her chair to face Tony and gave him her full attention as well. "Yeah, Tony. Seriously?"

"Especially after all we've seen. I'm surprised at you two. How can you not?"

"Have you ever seen a ghost, Mr. Stark?"

"That's a ridiculous question," still not looking away from his computer screen.

"Why is it ridiculous? Have you?"

"Oh damn," slamming his hands onto his knees. "I knew I was forgetting something. I'm so sorry." Sitting up straighter, Tony turned his chair toward the back of the jet and shouted, "Hey Manchurian Candidate! I guess I never properly introduced you to the team."

In the far back end of the jet, camouflaged within the shadows wearing all black combat armor, the fourth passenger hadn't said a single word since boarding. He sat slouched in his seat, arms crossed over his chest, and knees spread wide above huge heavy black steel tipped boots polished to a shine, reflecting the only light in the tailend to infiltrate his shadows. His face was hidden by shaggy brown hair and a well worn baseball cap pulled down low.

"Baby Spider and the Spider Queen are your chippy little cohorts today if we ever spot this asshole and can touch down. Spidey friends, may I present our very own paranormal soldier, Sergeant Bucky Barnes."

"High-fucking-larious, Stark. Now fuck off," Bucky grumbled, pulling the bill of his hat even farther down over his face to look like he was napping.

"Holy shit! I didn't even know he was on board. How did I not sense him?" Peter shouted.

"That's my point, kid," Tony said. "He must be a ghost. Think about it. There's no other answer. He's straight up Jacob Marley, but missing the heavy chains with a door knocker for a nose."

They all burst into laughter - all but Bucky who grumbled some more.

After about an hour or so, Peter walked to the back of the jet and cautiously sat down next to Bucky.

The soldier didn't say anything; he didn't move; he didn't even look to be breathing.

Leaning toward him, Peter softly asked him, "You're not really a ghost, are you sir?"

"I have no idea," Bucky answered flatly and with finality.

Peter's eyes widened, more unsure of his beliefs after that cryptic non-answer than he was before he asked.

"Oh... Yes, sir," Peter said as he retreated back to his chair next to Tony.

Silence hung heavily in the Quinjet after that.

Finally.

Bucky gave Natasha a wink at one point when their eyes met. Eventually Peter would ask more questions, but they enjoyed the silence as long as it lasted.

The End.

It's a new year, and I'm going to be push myself harder to actually post. Good, bad, stupid, or slutty - I'm gonna post stuff anyway. This will be the year of drabbles, false starts, unfinished stories, and plots that go nowhere.

JUST WRITE AND POST, TOOZ!

JUST WRITE AND POST—OFTEN!

My drabble here didn't turn out the way I had planned, but I can see this idea take a fun turn if Bucky actually is a ghost. He could be!!!

He could be trapped on Earth and tethered to his super soldier body that won't decay. At least MOST of the missions Hydra sent him on were to kill other bad guys. Right?

Tony had some other theories too. But it's 3am and now I don't remember what his theory was. Grrrrr.

Anyone else looking for some inspiration?

@nildespirandum @ladyoftheteaandblood @caffiend-queen @redfoxwritesstuff @so-easy-to-love-me @acidcasualties @americasass81 @jtargaryen18 @alexakeyloveloki @devikafernando @spectre-posts @wiypt-writes @nonsensicalobsessions @latent-thoughts @mastreworld @talklokitome @wolfsmom1 @lokisgoodgirl @lokischambermaid @holymultiplefandomsbatman @muddyorbs @fictive-sl0th @villainousshakespeare @liminalpebble @jobean12-blog

I really hope to post more this year. I'm serious. AND I'll do an actual tag list. Please confirm if you want to see my stuff or prefer that I leave you alone. You are not required to listen to my drivel for me to still love reading from your blog. I promise. Honest. Just let me know.

#toozmanykids #tooz writing prompts #tooz prompt

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factoryfileshorrorseries · 24 days

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Factory Files Vol. 4 - Puppets & Parlors . . . Pt. 4

[ DO NOT REPOST, ALL ART & CONCEPTS WERE MADE BY ME ]

Illustration Time of Pt’s 1-5: Pending . . .

Characters Featured (Within Story): Sandra Muller, Violet Delaney, Lucky, Wen Elijah, Gordon O’Brian, Ricky, Pearl, Arnold, Goblette, Normal, Lilliana, Junebug, Leonard, George, Ray, Hand, Randy, Pig, Curtain Call, and the remainder of the MFN crew.

Fandom: My Friendly Neighborhood

Fanfic Title: “FF Vol. 4 - Puppets & Parlors”

Coming Soon . . .

[ This is a FNaF’s / PoppyPlaytime / My Friendly Neiborhood AU, in no way is this canon to any of the OG storylines. ]

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magician-kitty · 3 months

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Beach Episode

It was a hot day today at Megapolis, and when I mean hot. I mean very, very hot. Like it's so hot that you could probably cook some eggs on the sidewalk.

"Sizzle, Sizzle, Megapolis City. It's hot out there! But don't fret it or sweat it. To beat the heat, you just gotta hydrate and refrigerate. Get yourself a nice frosty ice cream cone. Stay out of the Sun, or you'll end up well-done. Find some shade, or better yet, go on and get wet, wet, wet! Talking about a fishing hole or a swimming pool, fool! Stroll down to your friendly neighborhood river, lake, or stream, and leave the cool tubes to me."

"Ugh it's so hot..." MK groaned as she was fanning herself, sweating a lot.

"You said it, MK. Today is very hot." Mei replied as she was sweating too, her jacket wrapped around her waist and slouching over her chair.

"Hey, why not go to the Weather Station?" Mei suggested, MK shook her head. "Can't, it's still being repaired after Red Son took over it."

MK groaned in frustration, the one day she couldn't be more mad at the fire demon.

"Pigsy, Tang? You guys, okay??" MK asked, she glanced down and sees them sprawled down on the floor. "Stupid hot weather." Pigsy groaned, wiping sweat from his face.

"I think...this is the end for me." Tang groaned as well, his glasses halfway off his face. "I always knew we'd go out together, my sweet."

"Aw that's swell Tang."

Mei was about complain until she came up with the perfect solution. "Ooh, I know! We should all go to the beach!!" Mei said as MK, Pigsy, Tang liked the idea.

It's been such a long time since they all went to the beach--probably because everyone just goes to the Weather Station instead.

"Ooh! That's sounds like a great idea, I can buy me that swimsuit I saw the other day!" She grinned excitedly, scrolling through her phone for swimsuits.

"It better not be inappropriate, young lady!"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Yeah, I think I could get used to this," Tang sighed in relief at the cool shade that was the umbrella he laid under, swirling an icy drink in his hand, he glanced over to the grumbling pig at his side. "C'mon, cheer up hon, Enjoy yourself."

"How can I, I told the kid not to pick that damn swimsuit." Pigsy murmured irritatedly, eyes darting around the crowded coast. A hand grasped his, comforting thumbs that traced over his knuckles.

"As much as you don't like it she Is growing up, and you're going to have to accept that."

The chef demon just grumbled, "Hey c'mon, take a break and relax. Please, My big strong noodle maker?~" Tang cooed, scratching Pigsy under his chin, making him squeal in delight.

A soft smile growing on his face, before turning to the sea with uncertainty. "Okay, Okay, hon. Whatever you--Aaugh!!" His face was caked with sand as a volleyball hits him in the face.

"My bad, Pigsy!" Mei called out.

"Me as well!" Sandy called out.

Pigsy growled and was about to yell at the river demon and dragon girl, until they all heard screaming, they looked to see everyone running away. "What the heck is going on?" He questioned.

"Oh no..." Tang sighed, having a clue to what's happening.

"Peasants!!" A familiar voice shouted, The group sighed in irritation.

The bull prince, Red Son stands before the group with millions of his Bull Clones behind him. He wears a white visor, a pair of sunglasses with an indigo rim, a black tank top, a pair of indigo swim trunks with a white stripe running down each side, and brown flip flops.

"What do you want, Red Boy?" Mei demanded, tapping her foot on the sand. "We don't really feel like fighting you today."

He scoffed, taking off his shades. "Please, As if I wish to fight you peasants today, I'm here to enjoy myself, As like the rest of you."

"That's reassuring." The pig demon grumbled, sitting back into the shade. Red Son looked around, as if someone was missing. "What? Noodle girl isn't here to save you all today?" He cackled.

"For your information MK's here, she's on the other side of the beach enjoying herself." The dragon girl pointed to the other side of the beach, towards the water.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Whoo!"

She let out a loud cheer as she jumped into the water, riding the waves wearing a black two-piece swimsuit with flower prints.

The brunette screams as she looses her footing off the board and into the ocean. MK's head shot up from the water as she laughed, feeling her body relaxed from the intense heat. "Whoo! Now this is more like it." She then started swimming as she got out and dryed herself with a towel.

She lie down on her beach towel and starts reading a Monkey King comic book. She started reading but five minutes later, she was just starting to doze off when two shadows appearing over her startled her awake.

"Huh? What the?" She murmured, sitting up to stretch, She looked up and saw two demons that were gawking and grinning at her.

"Oh no, not this..."

"Excuse me pretty lady, but me and my friend couldn't help but admire you from afar~" one of them said seductively, waggling his eyebrows.

He had dark green eyes, a pig-like nose, buck-tooth grin, and short, messy red hair.

"Yeah, smokin' hot in that bikini!" The other agreed. He had slicked back black hair, black and white horns, lavender skin and a little stubble on his pointy jaw. His brown eyes glinted with mischief.

MK rolled her eyes at their crude remarks. "Wow, that's very sweet of you to say," she said sarcastically before going back to her comic book. "But please go away, Thank you."

"Aw, no need to be so cold darlin' I'm Stone, this is my friend, Wayne." He introduced himself and his friend.

"Say, wait a minute," Wayne suddenly said, eyes widening in recognition. "You're that Monkie Kid chick!"

"Really?" Stone leaned in towards MK, getting far too close in personal to her face, peering at her with narrowed eyes. "Hey! You're right, She is!"

"Yeah, what of it?" She crossed her arms, clearly not in the mood to be bothered by these guys.

"Aw, no need to be so cold darlin' We're really huge fans of yours you know." Wayne nudged his friend in the arm, grinning.

"Hmph! Yeah, I'm sure you are."

"Oh, no, it's true, we are! Ain't that right, Stone?" He nodded quickly.

"Definitely! So whatcha doin' here all by yourself?" Stone asked.

"That's None of your business, jerk." MK replied hotly. "Look, leave me alone, okay?" MK shoved past them, heading back towards the water where she hoped she could cool down, not only from the heat of the sun, but from having to put up with these perverts.

"Aw Cmon darlin' don't leave," Stone growled as he and Wayne chased her down and gripped her both arms tightly. "Not without an autograph at least~" He cooed, wiggling his eyebrows.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"No fair, you cheated!"

"I did no such thing. I won your little game fair and square!"

"You didn't have to hit the volleyball that hard, you little punk!" Pigsy scowled the fire demon while tending to his unconscious husband, who has a shiner on his head.

As they continued bickering, a loud, panicked scream pierced through the white sandy beaches, Sandy's ears perked, his large amber eyes went out towards the area, scanning it. He gasped. "Oh no, no look!" He points to a spot further out into the deeper section of the water.

Red Son followed his gaze, squinting to find what the gentle giant was referring too. Once he saw it, his eyes widened then narrowed in anger.

He growled.

"Hey, what are you?"

Before Mei could question him, Red Son was shoving past the group, zooming towards the water, shoving past anyone in his path.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Alright, I'm warning you pricks to buzz off, Or else I'll show you what happens to those who mess with The Monkie Kid!" MK hissed, towering over the boys hoping they'd buy her bluff and leave her alone.

Unfortunately, these two were smarter than she anticipated. "Oooh, sounds like fun! Can wanna see~!"

MK shrieked as she suddenly felt her bikini top loosen, the strings falling across her shoulders. "GET OFF ME!" MK screamed, She cried out when she found herself tackled from behind.

Oh, that's it she swore she would handle this and not pull out her staff but that's it!!

Unfortunately, someone has already beaten her to the punch, literally. An incoming fist landed on Stone's face, sending the jerk flying inches away from MK.

Both MK and Wayne froze when they heard the deep growling and the smell of smoke. MK glanced over Wayne's shoulder and saw the familiar red headed demon, His normal green eyes were glowing with a red burning rage, his hair blazing fire, smoke snorting from his nose and his mouth was drawn back in a menacing snarl, revealing his very sharp and deadly-looking teeth.

"I believe she told you both to 'Go away'," Red Son rumbled. "Or are the both of you hard of hearing."

"Woah, c-calm down pal. W-we were just playing around with her! Just having a little fun is all!" Wayne insisted, but immediately fell silent with the icy stare that was sent his way.

Red Son quickly glanced over to MK, who had her back turned to them, attempting to retie her top--surely to have come undone by those guys, The mere sight of her trembling state made his heart ache inside.

And he did like it. One. Bit!!

Red Son grabbed the two creeps by the back of their necks, holding him up in the air. The two yelped and struggled, but the fire user's grip was too strong.

"You hideous second rate demons have the audacity to harass an innocent young woman just because she said no!? It's filthy peasants like you who make it hard for women today to enjoy the beach comfortably."

"Wow, who knew Red Son was such a feminist."

"You can't help but try to get your grubby little hands on them and then assault them when they don't want to have anything to do with you. Well, let me just warn you..." He shoved them to the hot sand, hovering over them, a wicked grin plastered on his face.

"If I ever catch you fuckers pestering her or anywhere near her again, I will personally show you what happens to those messes with me, Understand"

Y-y-yes s-s-s-sir!" The demons stammered, giving him a shaky salute. "W-w-we promise! J-j-just spare us!"

Red's mouth turned up into an impish smirk. "Don't worry, I wouldn't dream of touching the likes of you, however..." he let his sentence hang there.

Wayne and Stone nervously turned around and his Bull Clones surrounded them, General Ironclad pounding on his robotic fists.

Extremely satisfied, The Bull prince left them to the beatdown they were receiving. He goes over to MK's side, who had finished fixing herself up. "Honestly, Noodle Girl, surely you could have put up a better fight than--" He was cut off when MK launched herself towards him, wrapping her arms around him in a tight hug, making him freeze up.

"Thank you..." She whimpered, burying her face into his chest.

"I-I-I..." Red Son stood there flustered, his entire face pink, his heart pounding, he could swear he saw little hearts floating over him. "Y-You're...Your Welcome?" He finally managed to say.

"MK, are you alright?" Mei asked frantically as the prince wrapped his towel around her shaking frame, eyebrows furrowed in concern.

"Yeah I'm fine, I'm okay," MK fixed her best friend with a tired smile. "Just a little worn out is all."

"Thanks for helping me, Red," the Monkie kid eventually spoke, smiling. The fire demon looked away uncomfortably, still trying to keep his composure. "I mean, I-I, Uhh..." He stammered, trying not to blush.

"Wow, never took you for the gentlemen type, Red Boi.." Mei said, crossing her arms.

"It's Red Son! And How dare you," Red Son screeched, looking rather offended. "I may be a villain but I was taught to respect a woman!"

MK gaped in awe as she could feel her heart race, 'A woman? Wow that doesn't sound half bad' Her face as red as a tomato at him referring to her as a woman rather than girl.

MK took a glance at the viewers watching, or reading.

"I think he's starting to grow on us, don't you think?"

"Uh, MK who are you talking to?" Sandy asked her.

"Uhh..."

#lego monkie kid #tales of the monkey princess #monkie kid mk #lmk red son #lmk spicynoodles

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bss-samsiyye · 9 months

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Adeia 2023

- The gods have been very good to my garden this year. I even had four plants make a miraculous recovery after I was certain they would die. So this year I'm thanking them for it with honey libations and by repotting everyone to air out the soil and fertilize it, and focusing mostly on asking for regular rain. We had some rain this winter, which should NOT happen, and on the other hand I've never seen less rain in a wet season...which of course did not stop my city from flooding because it used to be a wetland. I'm asking Ba'al for lots of rain next summer.

Pictured here: wild amaranth, rosemary, marigold, arnica + lavender, wild Mexican tea and a baby chayote.

- I also prayed for Demeter's blessings for the sustainable urban designs I'm submitting to the relevant government departments some time next week, and for a proposal I want to introduce in my neighborhood to switch to native grass species, plant more flowers for native pollinators and upgrade outside lighting to be more firefly-friendly. I also asked her, and Persephone, to protect agricultural land, which is being threatened by both global warming and an increasingly violent political situation.

- Collected organic waste in a jar for three days to mix with the plants' new potting soil. A friend of my grandmother's gave us chicken eggs from his sustainable farm so I felt more pressed to not just throw the egg shells away and show my thanks.

Pictured here: a grinding stone shaped like a pig, for Demeter, and crushed eggshells in a jar mixed with wilted carrots.

- The wheat I planted last year suffered an untimely death by pet rabbit (his name is Apollo) and the one I planted in March to replace it is taking it's time, so I offered it only in spirit.

Pictured here: rabbit-appropriate wheat (with some chickweed) and a green wheat stalk for the gods.

- I also planted cattails (ethically sourced from my local zoo's restored wetland habitat) to keep it water-themed. Some will go in my garden, others to friends' gardens, and a few to my grandmother's artificial pond.

- For the food offering, I wanted to prepare chiles en nogada, stuffed (big) peppers with walnut and goat cheese sauce and pomegranates for decoration. The ingredients for it are in season so I thought it was appropriate, but it's also a reminder that we have to think about where our food comes from and protect those sources. Chiles en nogada are a traditional September dish; unfortunately, the recipe has changed in recent years because one of the ingredients used in the stuffing, called acitrón, comes from a barrel cactus species which is now endangered. Alas, it's quite a labor-intensive dish and it's a busy weekend for my family, so we're making it next week instead.

#cattail pictures incoming

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tracidant · 2 years

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The Muse has been active the last few days. 🙂

Writing prompt: the batfamily adopts multiple guinea pigs

Damian called an emergency Robin meeting.

"Father says I'm only allowed to have 1 guinea pig, but there are 5 total in the litter, so each of you must adopt one, so we can rescue the whole group. Before you start whining, Drake..."

"I didn't say a thing!"

Damian glared at Tim. "I shall take care of them, feed them, and clean the cages. All you have to do is say they're yours and play with them occasionally. I've already chosen tentative names, but if you wish to name yours yourself, I have a list of acceptable names from which you can choose. I have folders for each of you on proper guinea pig care, plus a picture of the ones I've chosen for you. Are there any questions?"

"Little D, what if someone doesn't want a guinea pig? Most of us don't even live here at the Manor. I don't even live in Gotham!"

Damian reached behind him and pulled out a folder. He handed it to Dick. "Grayson, this is the one I chose for you. She matches Haley's color perfectly, and I've chosen the name Mary for her to honor your mother."

Dick sighed. "Ok then. I guess Haley has a sister now."

Damian nodded at his oldest brother before turning to an excited Stephanie. "Brown, before you ask, yes. You may name yours Waffles. I have more dignified names on the list, but if I picked one of those, you would just give it a ridiculous nickname anyway. It's a boy, by the way." He handed Stephanie her folder.

"Sweet! I got a piggie named Waffles!" She opened her folder. "Oh yay! He's even got crazy hair!"

"Todd. Put your hand down. Yours is female, and you may NOT call her Pig. Creativity won't kill you. Speaking of what will, Crowbar is not an acceptable name either."

"Ouch, kid! Maybe I won't take one then."

"And maybe I have new evidence of a certain mysterious food poisoning incident at Blackgate that occurred at the same time you were a guest there a few years ago."

Jason and Damian stared at each other for a few moments.

Jason blinked first. "Fine. So what's my new pet's name?"

"Well, I know you've been rewatching 'Game of Thrones' recently, and your love of warrior women is no secret, so yours is Lady Brienne. I do have a list of other names..."

"Nah, Brienne is perfect."

"Excellent choice, Todd. Here's your folder."

"Drake, I've given a great deal of thought to the name of your guinea pig. It's a male, by the way, and I've decided on Peter Parker."

Tim was a bit taken aback and a bit suspicious too. "You named mine after Spider-Man? That's actually pretty cool. But why?"

"He reminds me of you. He's really one of the most powerful Avengers, yet he'll gladly step back to being the 'friendly, neighborhood Spider-Man' when needed. You didn't think twice about stepping back into the Robin role when I was gone, because you knew that's where you were needed."

"Wow. Thank you, Damian. I didn't realize you saw me that way." Damian nodded and handed Tim his folder.

"I'm not a child anymore, Drake. I can admit that others are better at things than I am."

"So what's your piggie's name, Damian?"

"Her name is Mademoiselle Marie, Brown. She was a leader in the French Resistance..."

"Wait, isn't that Alfred's baby mama's name?"

"Correct. Although I wouldn't refer to her by that term around Pennyworth."

A week later, the Robins got together again to put together the giant habitats for their new pets. (The empty bedroom next to Damian's was taken over for the newest members of the family.) There were two main sections, so the males and females could be kept apart, with a divider that could be removed for supervised interactions. Both sections had several water bottles, feeding stations, tubes, wheels, and sleeping areas.

Bruce and Alfred were watching the scene from the hallway.

"I know this was just Damian's way of getting all five of those guinea pigs, despite me telling him he could only have one, but at least they're working together."

"I've noticed Master Damian has been much more agreeable towards Master Timothy as well. They're actually working on a case together willingly. Perhaps five guinea pigs are a small price to pay, Master Bruce."

"Yeah, but Duke and Cassandra will be back next week, and I heard Damian mention something about a bonded pair of rabbits at the shelter."

The two men sighed. "Well, we do have plenty of extra rooms, I suppose."

#batfamily #batpiggies #guinea pig #damian's menagerie #damian wayne #dick grayson #jason todd #tim drake #stephanie brown #bruce wayne #alfred pennyworth #cassandra cain #duke thomas

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paper-starz · 6 months

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Some Gordon because i need to PRACTICE drawing him

heres the LOVELY anatomy practice!

Gordon in a suit! Doesn't he look positively dashing?

Hes going to a fancy party!

SQUISH

I feel like Gordons face would be squishy.

heres a small doodle of @the-friendliest-freak's design of Gordon! (Go check out their blog!)

(Wah? More doodles below??)

#my friendly neighborhood #my friendly neighborhood game #mfn #mfn fanart #mfn pig #mfn gordon #mfn gordon o’brian #traditional illustration #Every day that passes #i get better at drawing <3 #Practice makes PROGRESS kids!

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normalnorman · 8 months

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Hand puppets: Handy Randy and Pig model references free to use for art and anything else

#mfn #my friendly neighborhood #mfn game #mfn handpuppet #handy #randy #pig #mfn pig #mfn randy #mfn handy #hand puppets #mfn hand puppets

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emeriethevalkyriegirl · 2 years

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This Little Spidey Piggy

A/N: So after reading @parker-fluff , @tklfluff , and many many other amazing tickle arts and writers, I got the idea to create this one! Inspired by Peter 1’s snorts (oink oink 😂)

Summary: Peter 1 gets home from school sad because he had a bad day at school. So the other Peters cheer him up by making pigs in a blanket (his fav) with a few surprises tickle attacks with it of course.

Peter 2’s tingle went off before the front door opened from his apartment. “Hey Lil Spidey!” He said, expecting a response form his youngest brother. But all he got in returned was a ‘hey’ before Peter 1 left to retreat into his room.

Peter 3, who was sitting on the couch along side Peter 2 in the living room looked confused. “Is everything okay?” He asked as Peter 2 shook his head. “I don’t know. He didn’t seem like his usual self.”

“Yeah. One would come bursting through the door when he notice us. Then he would start rambling about how much he wants pigs ‘n blanket.” Peter 2 chuckled, remembering how much he loved it when One would whine whenever he didn’t get his favorite dinner. “Maybe something happened back at school. You think we should check on him?” Peter 2 asked as Peter 3 gasped and got up on his feet. “Of course we should. What type of big brothers would we be if we didn’t?” Peter 3 held out his hand for his eldest brother to help him off the couch. Peter 2 happily accepted it and was more grateful when he didn’t comment on his old age. “Why don’t you go talk to him first. I’ll go start us some dinner.”

“Lemme guess, pigs in a blanket?”

“Pigs in a blanket.”

--------

Peter 1 slumped on his bed, burring his face in the pillow to try and stop the tears from falling down. He didn’t want his brothers to see him like this. He’s suppose to be Spider-Man. The hero of New York City. The Friendly Neighborhood Hero of his Hometown. He wasn’t suppose to break down like this. What of a hero is he if he’s like this?

Peter 1 pulled the covers up to his face and curled himself into a ball. He was just about to drift off into dream land and wake up at around dinner time, hoping the tears would stop falling by then, but his spider tingle went off and his bedroom door opened to reveal Peter 3. Peter 1 gasped quietly and pretended to be asleep.

If I stay like this, he’ll leave

Peter 3 closed the door behind him and sighed. “You do realize I can tell when you’re sleep right? I heard you crying from the living room.” he replied, walked towards the sad teenager and sitting on his bed. Peter 1 didn’t move. Just laid there in the bed. “Come on buddy, I just wanna know why you were crying that’s all.” Again, no response.

The middle child was getting impatient. And he knew just how to deal with it.

Peter 3 smirked and shrugged his arms. “Okay, if you’re not gonna tell me, I might as well finish my dinner.” Peter 1 gasped and covered his mouth. This morning, Peter 3 came into his room to wake him up for school. And how did he do that? Well, by tickling of course. He grabbed one of his feet and started to chew on his toes. The bites were gentle but it tickled like crazy. And worse, he even did the ‘This Little Piggy’ song with his toes but he changed it up to ‘This Little Spidey Piggy’. He never got to finish his meal however because One was running late for school. But now, he’s back.

And he has nowhere to go.

Faster than One could ever dread, Peter 3 grabbed one of his feet like he did last time and scooted closer to his feet so it could be more comfortable. “Ready for round two?” Peter 1 was too afraid to respond and just muffled his giggles. Unfortunately, Peter 3 was able to hear him. “Aw, are you already waiting. You’re such a good little Spidey. Yes you are. Tell you what, sense you’re waiting so patiently, I’ll start right now.” At that moment, Peter 1 tried to tug his leg from Three’s grip, but the grip was too firm.

It was too late.

Peter 3 used his index and thumb finger to wiggle his big toe. “This little spidey piggy went to market.” he said in an annoying baby voice. Peter 1 couldn’t contain his giggles and let them all out. “Gah! Nohohohoho threhehehehehehehehe stahahahahap!” Peter 3 gave his toe a kiss and moved on to the next one. “This little spidey piggy stayed home.”

“Eeeeeeehehehehehehehehehehe ahahahahahahaha!” Peter 1 squealed earning another kiss to his second toes. “This little spidey piggy had roast beef.” Peter 3 smiled when a couple of snorts escaped from his little brother’s mouth. Peter 1 stuck his tongue out but was grateful for the covers covering his face. “This little spider piggy had none.” Peter 1 knew where this was going. “NOHO PLEASE!”

“And this little spidey piggy cried...” Peter 3 pulled the covers back so Peter 1′s head was covered up but his body was exposed. Peter 3 slowly, with anticipation (and a smirk on his face), lifted his shirt up a bit and scribbled his fingers surprising the little spider. “AAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHA THREEEEEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHE!!!”

“WEE WEE WEE!! All the way home.” As if on cue, Peter 1 made another snort sound. Peter 3 couldn’t help but chuckle as he pulled the covers from his brother’s face to reveal what he was searching for. A smile on his face. “There he is. There’s my little spidey.” Peter 3 said helped up Peter 1 while still recovering from his giggle shocks. Three placed him on his lap as One snuggled into his chest. “So, wanna tell me what happened?” he asked with sympathy as One sighed and told him about how the kids at school treated him like a bully again because he was so smart. “Hey, those kids ain’t got nothing on you. You’re the real deal. At the end of the day, those kids are just jealous cause they want to be as smart as you and they can’t be.” Peter 1 smiled and chuckled. “Thanks bro.”

“Any time. Little spidey!” Peter 3 said, putting his brother into a headlock to give him an all out noogie. “Hehehehehehey stahahahap iihihihihihit.”

“Bros, dinner’s ready! And stop nooging our little brother, he’ll have to use your shampoo again.” Peter 2 called from the kitchen making both little brothers laugh. “Come on One, Two made your favorite.”

“Pigs in a blanket? YES!” Peter 1 cried as he zoomed into the kitchen, Peter 3 right behind.

#tickle #ticklish #this little piggy #marvel #spiderman #lee!peter1 #ler!peter3 #peter2 #so cute #best bros ever #spider bros forever

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