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nerdzzone · 1 year

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A Ghost of Christmas Past

Summary: After being kept apart by their busy schedules, Madeline and Chris reunite for the holidays.

Part of the Back To You series

18+

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December 24th 2012

“Merry Christmas!”

There are things in life - songs, smells, certain tastes - that trigger a feeling and take you right back to another moment in time. For Madeline, Lisa’s welcoming greeting as she swung open the door of her house with the sounds of Christmas music blasting out somewhere in the background was one of those things. She was immediately filled with the same comfort and contentment that she’d been lucky enough to experience every holiday season for as long as she could remember. No one had to work, the kids were done with school, there were no commitments weighing on anyone’s mind and for the next few days no one had anything to do but enjoy one of the rare times that everyone got to be together.

It was without a doubt her favourite time of year and she could already feel her cheeks starting to hurt from smiling as she returned the greeting, chorusing with her parents as Lisa ushered them all inside.

“I’m glad that you made it,” she commented as they slipped out of their coats and left their wet boots by the door. “As soon as the forecast changed last night and they said we’d be getting all this snow, I was worried you’d get stuck in New York. Chris even started looking at flights just in case the roads were too bad, but I think the airport is already getting pretty backed up too.”

Even just the mention of his name had Madeline’s heart fluttering with excitement and while she was looking forward to catching up with Lisa as well, she couldn’t hold back the question that had been burning in her mind since they’d been walking up the path to the door.

“Is he here? Is he home?”

They’d been texting all day as she updated him on their ETA, but he had mentioned earlier that he had a few errands to run so she wasn’t sure if the fact that he hadn’t appeared with Lisa to greet them was because he wasn’t there. However, before Lisa had a chance to answer, her dad jumped in.

“Wow,” he chuckled, glancing at his watch. “She made it almost one whole minute before she wanted to ditch us for Chris.”

“I just spent five hours in a car with you, Dad,” Madeline pointed out with a roll of her eyes. “I think we’ve had enough quality time together.”

“It’s fine, Chris has been the same. He’s been counting down the minutes until your arrival since he got here. We’re just not important anymore,” Lisa teased, continuing before Madeline could argue that claim. “He’s in the kitchen, he’s been helping me bake.”

Unable to wait even a moment longer, Madeline quickly excused herself and hurried off towards the kitchen.

Once again, it had been far too long since she’d seen Chris. Their original plan was for him to join her parents at the closing night of her recent show and drive back to Massachusetts with them after a few days of last minute Christmas shopping in the city - as was their tradition almost every year - but he’d been held up in L.A. with some press and meetings that he had no way of getting out of and he’d had to cancel their plans. They’d both been disappointed, but over the year and a half that they’d been together they’d gotten somewhat used to the stretches of time they were forced to spend apart.

However, that didn’t mean they were any less relieved and excited when they were finally reunited and as Madeline walked into Lisa’s kitchen - greeted by the sight of a very flustered Chris stirring a bowl of ingredients together - she had to admit that the feeling of complete joy that she got every time they finally reconnected was almost worth the pain of any distance between them.

“Oh, man,” Madeline giggled, catching Chris’ attention as a grin slid onto his face. “I wish I had my phone on me, the internet would love this.”

“I dunno about that,” he argued. “Photographic evidence of me ruining Ma’s cookies might shatter some illusions about me.”

“You ruined them? How?”

Madeline crossed the kitchen to look at the tray on the oven as Chris shrugged.

“I dunno, I followed her instructions and did everything she said, but they don’t look like hers.”

He gestured to the plate on the counter where the successful batches sat and Madeline immediately knew the issue.

“You used too much sugar,” she informed him. “That’s why they’re darker, but they’ll probably taste fine - especially after they’re decorated.”

“How do you know?” He asked as he leaned on the counter beside her. “I used exactly how much she told me too.”

“Sometimes even just a little bit too much can make a difference,” Madeline shrugged before a smirk slid onto her face. “But I know because I’m a woman of many talents.”

She flipped her hair for dramatic affect and the imperfect cookies were suddenly gone from Chris’ mind.

“I’m familiar with many of them,” Chris matched her smirk, reaching out to pull her gently towards him until she was pressed against his body. “I’ve missed you.”

The words fell from his lips as a sigh and Madeline smiled as she let her hands slide up to rest behind his neck.

“I missed you too. I hate it when we’re both so busy.”

“It’s the worst,” Chris agreed. “And I’m really sorry about missing your show…”

“I don’t think I’ll be able to forgive you,” Madeline sarcastically informed him. “You’ve only seen me in the Nutcracker every year since I was twelve.”

“But still,” Chris smiled. “Every time is an absolute pleasure.”

If he hadn’t sounded so sincere, Madeline would have rolled her eyes, but she knew that he really did mean it. Ever since she’d started dancing, Chris had been her number one fan. Most teenage boys would probably consider going to ballet recitals to be a cruel form of torture, but Chris not only went to every recital that Madeline had, but he did it enthusiastically. He listened when she ranted about things she was struggling with, he celebrated with her when she had success and he genuinely took an interest in her life in the dance world that not many of her friends did. She knew that it could be hard to relate to, but he made an effort to understand and support her right from the start and she was incredibly grateful to him for that.

“You’re sweet,” she told him as her smile shifted into a smirk. “It’s a shame that your baking isn’t as good as your charm.”

Her teasing remark earned a dramatic gasp from Chris, but before he could voice his protests, she stretched up to silence him with a kiss. It was another feeling that truly felt like home to her. Every moment she was with Chris filled her with a contentment that was hard to find when he wasn’t nearby, but any moments of soft physical touch that they were able to sneak in amongst the chaos of their lives always had her feeling more love than she ever thought was possible.

Unfortunately, having their parents in the house was somewhat of a hindrance to their alone time and they pulled apart as they heard the sounds of them walking into the kitchen.

“Are you distracting him?” Lisa teased. “I left him with an important job to do.”

“He’s doing it wrong anyway,” Madeline smirked. “He used too much sugar.”

She moved back towards the tray to hold up a cookie as evidence of her claim despite the many protests coming from Chris, but it was her mother’s voice that got her attention.

“Oh, Madeline,” she laughed, shaking her head. “Clean yourself up!”

Her eyebrows furrowed in confusion, but the snickers of laughter from Chris had her immediately suspicious.

“What? What are you talking about?”

She craned her neck to try and see what had drawn everyone’s attention, but Chris smirked and told her to hold still as he pulled out his phone. She scoffed as he honed his camera in close to her bum and when he showed her the picture - with two floury hand prints clear on her leggings, one either side of her ass - she snorted out a laugh as she rolled her eyes.

“Chris!” She groaned as she quickly wiped away the mess he’d left. “You’re such a child.”

“I didn’t mean to!” He insisted despite his chuckles of amusement as he discreetly saved the photo that he’d taken. “Baking is just a messy job, but you should know that since you’re such an expert.”

“I’m not an expert just because I can tell how someone ruined a batch of cookies.”

“You said they weren’t ruined, you said they’d taste fine!”

“I was just trying to spare your feelings.”

Her inability to keep the grin off her face gave away her lie, but Chris shook his head in mock disbelief.

“This is unbelievable. I slave away all day and this is the thanks I get?”

“Sorry, kid,” Greg chimed in. “There’s no Hollywood yes-men here. If you mess up, we’re gonna call you out on it and hold you to the same standard as everyone else.”

A giggle slipped from Madeline’s lips at the indignation on Chris’ face, earning her a gentle swat on the arm from her disgruntled boyfriend and prompting his mother to step in.

“Alright, alright, leave poor Chris alone,” Lisa demanded as she rolled up her sleeves. “His cookies will be fine once they get a little icing on them, but if we don’t keep going then they won’t all be ready in time for the kids to decorate when they get here.”

“Are the rest of the decorations out yet?” Madeline’s mom, Connie, asked, waiting for Lisa to shake her head before she continued. “Then why don’t you three leave the baking to us and get the decorations ready for later?”

Madeline, Chris and Greg all nodded in agreement and Chris slipped an arm around Madeline’s waist as they followed Greg out of the kitchen.

It was another comfort-bringing Christmas tradition for the Evans and Daniels families. Every year for as long as any of them could remember, they’d spent Christmas together and before the big day they’d always gathered together to decorate the Evans family tree. Once everyone grew up and moved away, it became harder to coordinate a time when everyone was home to join in so they’d settled on making it a Christmas Eve tradition when it was guaranteed that everyone would be home.

So, that was how they spent their evening.

Scott, Shanna, and Carly and her family all arrived back at Lisa’s house just before dinner after spending the day enjoying the unexpected snowfall and the group settled in to eat their festive cookies - with Chris smugly noting that his cookies did taste just fine once the kids had smothered them in icing - and cover the tree in ornaments, reminiscing about all the years they’d spent together. It was refreshing for both Chris and Madeline to have those grounding moments - those moments that remained unchanged despite how busy their lives were - and they both soaked up as much family time as they possibly could.

However, they were also very much looking forward to getting time to have a moment alone. They’d stayed close together all evening - exchanging soft touches and gentle kisses whenever they possibly could, earning them plenty of teasing from Scott - but after the time they’d spent apart, they both craved the chance to be by themselves to really catch up. Which was why, when Connie yawned and suggested they wind down the activities for the night and reconvene in the morning, Chris and Madeline happily agreed.

Because of the unpredictable weather they’d been having, it had been unanimously agreed that everyone would stay the night in case the snow piled up and made driving difficult in the morning, but - after a brief discussion about sleeping arrangements - it was eventually decided that Madeline and Chris would spend the night at her parent’s house. It was only a couple of blocks away and well within walking distance and that freed up Chris’ old bedroom for his nephews to use. Chris dashed upstairs to grab what he’d need for the night and once he returned, they said their goodbyes and headed out into the snow.

It was calm outside as it always seemed to be after a heavy snowfall with the messy state of the roads keeping everyone home and the thick padding of snow on the ground seemingly absorbing all the sounds except for the crunching of their footsteps. Chris linked his arm with Madeline’s and pulled her shivering body close against his and they walked in silence until Greg spoke up.

“So, Chris, are you home for a while or do you have to race back to work right after the holidays?”

“Nah, I think I’ve got most of January to relax before I have to start thinking about work again,” Chris smiled. “Which means I get at least a month of being allowed to drink and eat things that actually taste good before I’m back on the superhero diet again.”

“It must be exhausting staying in shape like that,” Connie mused. “Especially once you start filming and work such long days.”

“Yeah, there isn’t much time to hit the gym once we start shooting,” Chris admitted. “That’s why I try to get in the best shape possible before so I have some wiggle room if I lose it a little as we go.”

“That’s a good plan,” Greg nodded. “And you know, I’ve actually been going to the gym lately too.”

That admission pulled a snort of laughter from Madeline, but Chris seemed genuinely intrigued.

“Oh, yeah?”

“Yep,” Greg nodded. “I’ve been trying to go at least four times a week so if you need any advice on getting swole, you just let me know.”

Chris bit back a laugh at the offer as Connie let out a groan and shook her head while Madeline giggled unashamedly and gave her dad a very skeptical look.

“Getting swole?” She questioned. “What does that even mean?”

“It’s slang, honey,” Greg informed her with a playful roll of his eyes. “It’s used in the gym rat community to describe someone with lots of muscles. Many people would probably use it to talk about your boyfriend, or at least they would when he’s in Captain America condition.”

“Hey now,” Chris smirked, lifting his free arm to flex his muscles in an attempt to demonstrate despite the thick winter coat that covered his arm. “I think I’m still pretty swole for an off-season.”

His use of her dad’s new slang had Madeline cringing, but her mother cringed for a different reason.

“Chris, please don’t encourage him,” she pleaded. “He got out of breath putting up our Christmas lights the other day, he has no idea what he’s talking about.”

“Because climbing up and down that ladder was hard work, that’s nothing to do with lifting weights!”

“Well, what about last week when you came home with a sore shoulder from getting too ambitious?”

“You have to push yourself, Connie,” he argued. “Or you’ll never improve.”

“But I think you’re supposed to make sure you do it safely,” Madeline pointed out. “You’re not supposed to push yourself so hard that you get injured.”

“It was one time!” Greg protested. “Most of the time I’m doing pretty good!”

His insistence earned a laugh from Madeline, an eye roll from his wife, and a smirk from Chris as he reached out to pat his back in a reassuring - but somewhat condescending - way.

“It’s okay, Greg, it’s a process. We can hit the gym together while I’m here and we’ll have you in superhero shape in no time!”

“Gee, thanks.”

Greg’s tone was flat as he was clearly unimpressed by the direction the conversation had taken, but - as was his nature - all was forgiven by the time they made it home. Considering what a long day they’d had - driving home from New York and all the celebrations that had happened that evening - everyone was happy to head straight to bed once they’d shed their wet coats and boots.

Madeline let Chris use the bathroom first, but when she finally came back to her childhood bedroom and saw Chris lounging on her bed in nothing but a pair of boxer briefs with a blissful smile on his face, she could barely hold back a grin of her own.

“I was hoping this outfit would earn me a smile,” Madeline admitted, referring to the short, red, and lacey nightgown she was wearing as she crawled onto the bed next to him. “But it seems like you’re pretty happy already.”

Chris chuckled and rolled onto his side, sliding a hand up and down the smooth material as he pulled her close towards him.

“I am happy,” he informed her, nestling his hips against hers and embracing the comfort of having her in his arms again. “I’m happier than I’ve been in a long time.”

The sincerity in his voice has Madeline’s heart swelling in her chest as she lifted a hand to stroke his stubbly cheek and hooked her leg over his hip.

“Yeah?”

“Absolutely. Being here - at home - it always makes me feel good. Being around people who really know me, knowing I don’t have anyone to impress, it’s always the best feeling in the world,” he explained. “And now, getting to share that with you as my girl, not just a friend, it’s made a good thing even better. I feel like I need to pinch myself sometimes because I just can’t believe it’s real.”

“Awe, Chris,” Madeline murmured, feeling her emotions rising at his sweet words. “I feel the same way. I’ve always loved Christmas, but I have to admit that this year and last year have felt extra special.”

Chris nodded in agreement as best he could with his head leaning on the pillow beneath them before stretching up to press a soft kiss against her lips.

“I love you, Maddie.”

“I love you too.”

The sound of those words had the smile on Chris’ face reaching even wider before he captured her lips once again. His movements were still soft, his lips barely pressing against hers and the hunger that had built over their time apart had Madeline leaning in to deepen the kiss. Chris, however, had other plans and dipped his head, nudging her chin up with his nose as he trailed kisses down her throat. His hand that had settled on her thigh began to slowly creep up, pulling her temptingly smooth nightgown with it until the material bunched at her waist leaving Madeline exposed as he explored her soft skin.

He let his hands wander as he tried to savour the moment, but his need was quickly growing and his impatience had him quickly shifting her onto her back as he moved lower on her body and pushed the dress even higher until Madeline was eagerly pulling it over her head. He chuckled at the enthusiastic glint in her eye as he slid the rest of the way down her body until he was settled between her legs and when he parted her thighs, he let out a groan of pleasure at the sight.

“So pretty, baby,” he murmured. “I’ve been dyin’ to taste you all day.”

A smirk slid onto his face as he noticed the way his words made her quiver with anticipation, but he never could resist an opportunity to tease her as he slowly kissed his way up her thigh and pulled away when he reached the top. With her legs settled over his shoulders, he could feel her stroking his back with her feet as if she was urging him closer, trying to silently coax him into doing what he knew she wanted, but Chris was undeterred as he kept his movements slow and measured. Using a hand to spread her open to him even more, he gently blew on the damp skin he’d exposed and reveled in the soft whimper of pleasure his actions earned before moving away again to press his lips against her other thigh.

“Chris…”

His name fell from her lips in a whine as he toyed with her, taking his time as he trailed his lips and tongue all over her skin, everywhere except the spot she wanted him the most. He could see the effect he was having on her as the wetness gathered quickly between her legs and he felt a familiar sense of pride as seeing just how wet he could get her was one of his favourite challenges. However, while the time apart aided him in his task of working her up, it left her with much less patience then she usually had for his games and as he rested his face between her legs, letting the warmth of his breath wash over her, Madeline couldn’t resist the urge to press her hips up towards him.

Her eager actions earned a chuckle from Chris, but the tightening of his grip on her hips was a clear warning for her to behave so Madeline tried a different tactic as she let out a stream of mumbled pleading. Chris let her go on for a moment or two - enjoying the sound of her desperation - before giving in to her request and finally sliding his tongue between her folds.

The relief hit Madeline almost as much as the instant pleasure as his well-practiced tongue knew exactly what she needed. He traced over every inch of her, using expert precision to know just where to ease up and where to keep the pressure high, but as the sounds of her encouraging pants and moans of approval filled his ears, he reluctantly pulled away.

“Maddie, you know I love to hear you,” he assured her, feeling almost pained to have to finish his sentence. “But I don’t want anyone else to so you gotta keep quiet. Okay, baby?”

Madeline’s cheeks flooded with embarrassment as she knew who he was trying to prevent from hearing them and she eagerly nodded her head. He knew that in that moment, she would have agreed to almost anything to get him to return to what he’d been doing, but he trusted that she would do as he’d requested and settled back into the task at hand. Immediately, Madeline felt a rush of pleasure, her head falling back against the pillows as she bit her lip so hard that in her attempts to stifle herself she almost broke the skin.

Now that Chris had felt she’d been sufficiently teased, he was relentless and the sensation was almost too much for Madeline to handle. He focused his tongue on the little bundle of nerves that had been straining so desperately for his attention and he expertly lapped at it until he had Madeline writhing beneath him as her hands gripped the sheets. She whimpered out a warning of her impending release with another pleading request for him to keep going and as Chris tightened his grip on her hip once again to show he understood, he felt her fall apart beneath him.

Her hips instinctively pulled away from his touch as the muscles in her body tensed with pleasure, but he pressed forward and kept the pressure steady until she relaxed against the bed, panting from the strain of keeping herself quiet. He gave her a moment to catch her breath, returning his lips to soothingly kiss the inside of her shaking thighs, before moving back up the bed to soak in the sight of Madeline’s flushed cheeks and heaving chest.

“Chris…” She smiled, fighting to slow her racing heart. “That was amazing...”

“See?” Chris smirked. “The anticipation makes it worth the wait.”

Madeline knew he was right. She’d never admit it, but she loved when he teased her. She loved feeling so at his mercy and feeling like she wouldn’t be able to stand it for a moment longer when he finally gave her what she craved. She loved the slow mounting pressure and the smug look on his face as he teased her until she begged him to stop. It was a game she was more than happy to play, but that didn’t stop a smirk of her own from sliding onto her face as she slid a hand down to stroke him through the briefs he was wearing.

“You’re right,” she agreed as his eyes slid shut and he shuddered under her touch. “I was planning on pushing you straight onto your back to repay you for what you just did, but maybe it would be cruel to deprive you of a little anticipation too.”

Chris’ eyes immediately snapped back open with a warning look in them that had a shiver running down Madeline’s spine.

“I’ve had enough anticipation,” he assured her, moving his hand down to his underwear and shifting slightly as he pushed it down his legs and discarded it. “I’m hard as a rock. You know what going down on you does to me. Your smell, your taste, seeing you lose control, it drives me fuckin’ wild.”

She’d moved her hand back to stroke him once his last piece of clothing was out of the way and the feeling of him just slightly leaking confirmed his statement. Knowing that he was so worked up from pleasuring her, Madeline felt a fresh pang of arousal despite her recent release and she stretched up to press her lips against his as she hesitantly let him fall out of her hand before using her hips to maneuver him onto his back.

He let her take the lead as he rolled over and watched her straddling his hips, but once she’d lined him up with her entrance he couldn’t resist taking back some control as he thrust his hips up and slid himself inside her.

Despite the almost blinding pleasure he felt from finally feeling her tightly around him, he was immediately distracted by the sight of the blissful look on her face as a gasp fell from her lips. He settled his hips back on the bed and groaned as Madeline followed, but as he watched her shifting slightly as she tried to adjust to how deep the position allowed him to be, he found himself struck by an overwhelming feeling of gratitude. The desperate need for relief that he’d been feeling moments before was suddenly pushed from his mind as he wondered how on earth he got lucky enough to end up where he was in that moment. To be with someone so passionate, so loving, so thoughtful and so fucking gorgeous had him feeling thankful for whatever he’d done in his life to deserve a chance with someone like Madeline and he was so unbelievably happy that she was his.

“Hey,” Madeline’s soft voice pulled him out of his thoughts as she noticed his eyes growing glassy. “You okay?”

“Yeah,” Chris croaked out, letting his hands run up and down her thighs as he fought to rein in his rising emotions. “Just can’t believe you’re really mine.”

It was an unexpected admission given the situation they were currently in and Madeline found herself quite caught off guard by it. It warmed her heart, but left her momentarily speechless and she leaned down to press her lips against his until she recovered enough to speak.

“I’ve always been yours,” she murmured, resting her forehead against his. “And I always will be.”

Chris nodded, not trusting his voice if he’d tried to speak, and took advantage of her new position to press his hips up towards her. The motion pulled another gasp from Madeline’s lips as her eyes drifted shut and Chris felt his emotions begin to simmer as a smile slid onto his face.

He knew her body and he knew her tells and he knew from her reaction that the angle of their bodies was letting him hit all the right places. After the time apart and the build up of watching her earlier pleasure, Chris was fighting to find some restraint, but he kept his pace slow and steady as he soaked in her stifled sounds and whimpers and focused on providing her as much pleasure as he could with every drag of his cock.

It didn’t take long for him to notice that she was getting close to another peak and he could see the strain on her face as she struggled to keep herself quiet. Chris felt a wave of pride that it was so easy for him to have her falling apart, but the genuine struggle he could see her fighting through had him taking pity on her. Using his hands that had settled on her ass, he tilted her hips just enough to increase the friction on the bundle of nerves he’d been teasing earlier and the change - along with some grunted words of encouragement - was all it took to have Madeline falling over the edge again.

The feel of her clenching around him as her lips parted in a silent cry of pleasure had Chris letting out a soft groan of his own, but he waited for her body to relax against his chest before he changed his rhythm. His thrusts grew quicker and more sloppy as he chased the release he’d been craving and it took barely a few more moments before he dug his fingers into her skin as he choked back moans of his own and came undone beneath her.

Madeline stayed where she was, smiling against his chest until she felt his heartbeat return to normal as she fought with a similar feeling of adoration that had overcome Chris. She’d spent her entire life thinking that Chris was just an unattainable dream and now - even despite the logistical challenges they often faced in their relationship with their need to often be thousands of miles apart - she was determined to make the most of every moment she got to spend with him.

Rolling off of him and curling against his side, Madeline struggled for the words to convey what she was feeling, but as Chris leaned down to place a kiss on the top of her head, she knew that there was nothing that needed to be said.

That is, until Chris stretched out a hand to check his phone and a grin slowly slid onto his face.

“It’s after midnight,” he informed her. “Merry Christmas, Maddie.”

The greeting once again filled Madeline��s heart with a warmth and comfort that almost brought tears to her eyes and she pressed a kiss against his chest before she replied.

“Merry Christmas.”

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#chris evans #chris evans smut #chris evans fanfic #chris evans fanfiction #chris evans fan fiction #chris evans fan fic #chris evans fic #back to you

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strawwritesfic · 4 months

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Enma Kozato x Female!Vongola!Reader: Coda

Summary: Can we try again?

Rating/Warnings: T (post-Inheritance Ceremony arc; Friends to Lovers; Enemies to Lovers; Love Confessions; Face Slapping; Slapping; Delivery Person!Reader; Adelheid & Enma; Adelheid/Julie)

Tag List: @imaginesfire

Notes: I've been in a Reborn mood lately, reviving some old OCs of mine with a friend via email. I'm even rereading what little of the official English translation manga there is. So I thought I'd brush off some of my old one shots for the series and post them, especially since I've had such kind feedback on the ones I've got on my Tumblr.

This was written back when I was in college, so probably circa 2011/2012. I did polish it up for this repost! Although there's really no helping the abrupt ending. I suppose I could have tacked something on, but the style would be so obviously different that it would really only make the original ending seem even more painful.

The reader character is based on (and originally written as) an OC in a roleplay group that I was in on DeviantArt at the time. I no longer recall the username, but credit where credit is due, so much as I can give it. The character's name was LaRae Souma.

Coda

Enma’s heart had never beat so wildly in his chest. Ba-thump, ba-thump, ba-thump. In the silence of the growing evening surrounding him, the noise felt abnormally loud. He lifted a trembling hand to his chest and pressed it against his rib cage.

“Why are you doing this?” he mumbled.

His heart, of course, gave no answer. Or maybe it did. Maybe its attempts to tear itself free from his insides were its way of telling him how downright crazy this entire plan was. Whatever the reason, Enma really wished his traitorous organ would stop. This whole situation was hard enough without adrenaline rushing through his veins.

Trying to calm down was a vain effort. Enma knew that. He’d been trying to do whatever that would take since school got out hours ago. How many girls had passed by, giggling because of how weird he looked standing at the gate? How many bullies had come by to exact their “standing” tax?

Maybe that was why his heart was still going crazy. Maybe he was finally running out of blood, and this was its last, desperate attempt to get what was left to the rest of his body before it gave out. Enma supposed that wouldn’t be too bad, really. At least if he was dead he wouldn’t be picked on anymore. He wouldn’t fail any more tests, either. And, for the love of God, he would not have to do what he was planning to do next.

The bag at his side buzzed. His head turned toward it. He blinked before slowly plucking his cell phone from the bag's pocket. Who would be calling him now? It was nearly dark, and the Vongola had no reason to contact him.

“Hello?” he said.

“Enma. Are you all right? It’s late.”

Oh. It was only Adelheid, then. He probably should have known, but Aoba had stolen his phone and changed all the contacts to pictures of himself flipping the camera off, so now Enma had no way to tell who anyone calling him actually was.

“She hasn’t been by.” He stared down the street again. Still no shadows appeared to be growing against the bright red sky. “Maybe she’s not coming.”

“It’s nearly dark. I would say she’s not.”

“She could be working overtime.”

“Enma, just come home. We’ll order more food, and you can talk to her then.”

“I don’t want to say it front of Julie.”

“He’s not going to say anything. If he does, I’ll hit him.”

"I'll wait a little longer.”

“Okay.” This time, her voice sounded a little warmer. “Call me when you’re on your way home.”

“Yeah. Bye.”

“Goodbye.”

He ended the conversation with a simple push of a button. Why hadn’t he taken the out Adelheid offered him? This was her idea to begin with, and Enma was seriously beginning to doubt her understanding of the matter. Her relationship wasn’t really comparable to his. All Julie had to do was grope her every once in a while.

Oh, God, was he going to have to grab your breasts? Did you even have those? It had been so long since he'd seen you that he didn’t remember. And Adelheid usually still slapped Julie when he did that. Enma didn’t really feel like being slapped.

Was this what hyperventilating felt like? He had never done it before, so he didn’t know.

A rapid tapping came from down the vacant street. Enma looked up. Running down the shadowed walk was a figure moving at a quick pace. He stood straighter. Was it you? It had to be. His hands had started to sweat again. This did not make him feel any less like an idiot. He wiped them on his pants. That only made it worse; now he had wet patches on his legs.

The figure continued to draw nearer. The golden pool of light surrounding him was soon the one they stepped into, bringing their features were placed in high relief. [Color] hair, [color] eyes, waitress uniform. Yes, that was definitely [F Name] [L Name]. It didn’t take the painful lurch in his heart to tell him that much.

The moment of recognition must have been shared because you froze mid-step, one leg stuck awkwardly in the air. Enma reached up to ruffle the back of his head. Now he was completely lost. What was he supposed to do? You were just staring at him like he was a particularly disgusting bug that had fallen directly in your path.

Then your expression hardened. Your normally warm eyes he grown so accustomed to turned more brittle as you smacked your heel back down against the pavement. For a split second, he thought you were going to say something. Instead, you started moving again, your movements now choppy and stiff.

“[Name],” he said as you passed.

You didn’t even spare him a second glance.

“[Name]!”

You did not even so much as twitch in his direction.

Enma sighed. Now what was he supposed to do? Adelheid hadn’t described her plan past his finally making contact with you. Still, he was not the same boy you had known a year ago. Steeling himself, he moved off the wall and into step beside you. It was only be the grace of God that he didn’t fall flat on his face doing so.

"[Name].”

"What?” He had never heard you speak with that much venom in your voice before, at least not directed at him. He gulped. Maybe this was a dumb idea.

"I need to talk to you.”

“I’m in the middle of a delivery.”

“I know. It's for me.”

Thankfully, this was enough to get your attention. Once again, you stopped completely, though at least this time you remembered to put you foot down. Your mouth fell open in an “o.” Then you narrowed your eyes.

“What do you mean, it’s for you?” you asked.

“I ordered it. Can I have it, please?”

“No! I’m not giving you anything!”

“I’m going to pay for it.”

You continued to watch him for a few more seconds, then tossed the container at his head. Enma flailed. The box knocked straight into his temple before falling open on the ground.

“Fine, then!" you snapped. "Eat it! See if I care!”

“Thank you,” Enma murmured.

He bent down to retrieve the contents of whatever food he had asked for. He was so nervous that he didn’t remember, nor did he think he’d actually be able to stomach it if he tried. If he remembered correctly, most girls didn’t think it was cool when boys threw up their food. Once he had the scattered contents all gathered, he rummaged in his pocket until he found the wad of cash he had stuffed in it that morning–more than enough for both his food and a decent tip for you.

“Your money." He held it out to you.

You said nothing as you snatched the cash out of his hand. And then you stood there. And continued standing there. Apparently you were intending to watch him eat the food.

Groaning inwardly, Enma picked up the chopsticks and dug in without looking at what he was digging into. It was probably good, but he didn’t get to taste much before he started to choke. Seemingly satisfied with this development, you hopped on the wall and crossed your legs, the better to see him.

“Why’d you order from there anyway? Thought I didn’t work there anymore?” you asked.

“N-No,” Enma stammered. He was still coughing up bits of rice. “I needed to talk to you.”

“So you ordered food from my workplace?”

“It was the only way I could talk to you. You were avoiding me.”

“Because I didn’t want to talk to you.”

“Right.”

Enma gazed forlornly at his eating utensils. Why had he done this? Of course you didn’t want to talk to him. After what he did…The look of betrayal on your face as you stood there with the rest of your family, the way your eyes seemed to grow dim as you watched him mutilate your friends…His gut clenched every time he thought of it. Who was he kidding with this? You weren't going to want to hear him out. You didn’t even want to be his friend anymore.

He took a deep breath and looked up toward you. It looked like he was still Loser Enma after all. What he realized, however, was that you were no longer looking away. Instead you had the full force of your glare on him. He flinched.

“Why didn’t you tell me?” you asked.

There could be a million things he hadn’t told you that you were asking about, each a worse secret than the one before. But Enma thought he had a pretty good idea what you were talking about.

“I didn’t want you to get hurt,” he said.

“And why would I get hurt?”

He licked his lips. “My family…what we were doing…”

“Yeah, it was pretty stupid,” you snarled. “And thank you so much for showing such faith in me.”

“I didn’t want you to tell Tsuna. It was important. What if you said something and they found out?

You snapped straight up. Enma stumbled backward, managing to stay on his feet but spill what was left of his meal. This did nothing to stop you. In one easy movement, you jumped off the ledge, landed on your feet, and marched up to him. For a moment, all you did was look into his eyes. Then you launched yourself forward and started trying to smack every bit of him you could reach.

“Are you kidding me?" You all but shrieked. "I thought you trusted me! I thought I was your friend!”

“Ouch. [Name]. Stop."

Your punches, if anything, merely increased in number. Enma groaned. What would Aoba and Julie say if they saw him now? Probably something along the lines of “You’re totally whipped!” Without thinking, he grabbed your wrists. You sucked in a breath. He supposed he had surprised you. The him of a year ago wouldn’t have tried to defend himself at all. One split second later, however, and you were back on the offense.

“You.” You tugged. “Are.” You tugged harder still. “Such a jerk, Enma Kozato!” You arched backward as far as you could. Still he did not let you go.

“I know," he said. "I’m sorry.”

“Sorry isn’t good enough! I don’t care what you have to say to me. Just go away!”

Enma took a deep breath. Now was good as ever. He didn’t think you were going to let him stick around much longer anyway. “I think I love you.”

The anger drained slowly from your face. Feeling that it might be safe to let you go, Enma released your wrists at last. He stuffed his now-free hands into his pockets and stared at his feet. The silence stretched on for several more minutes, and then there was a sudden whoosh and the sound of flesh meeting flesh.

Enma’s eyes went wide. The sound of the slap echoed in the empty road.

“That’s for avoiding me for a year!” When he looked up, you were rubbing at your wrist and scowling. “Did you think I was going to yell at you?”

“Well, you’re doing a good job of it now,” he said as he pressed his palm against his stinging cheek.

“Because, Enma, you are an idiot.” You scowled at him again, then whirled on your heel and marched over to your delivery box. Without looking at him, you continued, but he noticed your voice was quavering a bit when you spoke: “If you’re just going to say empty words, then you can leave me alone. For good this time.”

“They weren't empty.” he mumbled at the ground. Enma thought that maybe he heard you pause before going on your way. “I won’t bother you anymore.”

Before you could answer–if you were going to answer, which he didn’t believe could be true at all–he started shuffling away. He didn’t get far before he managed to trip and crash face-first into the sidewalk. A sickening crunch sound coming from his nose told Enma that he had just seriously screwed up. Perhaps it would be best if he just stayed there in the dirt until you left. He didn’t want the last thing you saw of him to be the blood spilling profusely from his face.

“Enma? Are you okay?”

Oh, crud, you were standing right above him. He craned his neck so he could see, trying to make sure you couldn’t get a look at the newest disfigurement on his face. You knelt down next to him and then dragged him to his feet.

“You’re bleeding.”

“Yeah. Don’t worry about it.”

You frowned. “No, I will worry about it. Sit down.”

You pushed down on his shoulder and Enma obeyed without thinking. What were you doing? Why were you still talking to him? Hadn’t you already left, glad to have him out of your life? While he was pondering all of this, you were digging around in your own bag. A few moments later, you pulled out a first aid kit.

Enma leaned back. “You don’t have t–”

“Yes, I do.”

Enma fell silent as you began to work on him. It almost felt like old times, except for the part where the girl he was in love with hated him. He could probably do without that. Well, that and the broken nose.

“Hold still. I’m going to set it. It’ll hurt.”

He braced himself. Sure enough, you pressed your fingers onto both side of his nose and pushed. There was a loud pop and pain streamed into his face. Enma lifted his hand to feel his nose.

“Why did you…?”

“Did you mean it when you said you loved me?” you asked.

“Y-yes.” Did you find him terribly stupid? Were you going to laugh at him?

You turned, face hidden as you placed your kit back in your bag. “Then why didn’t you talk to me for so long?”

“I was afraid you hated me. I didn’t want that.”

“I didn’t. I just wanted to hear from you. When I called and you didn’t answer…” You trailed off. He could see your eyes again. They were filling with tears. “I thought we were friends.”

“You’re my best friend, [Nickname].”

"It doesn’t feel like it.”

Enma stared at you. You looked away and dabbed at your eyes with your sleeve. “I’m sorry.”

You didn’t answer.

His eyes darted about the street. What he was about to do was risky, but maybe it would work out? Maybe this time he could actually do it. Maybe this time he wouldn’t be a loser. “[Name].”

You looked back. He shifted his bag so it was behind him, then opened his arms. You gawked at him, and he lifted them slightly. For a few more seconds, you did not move. Another flurry of anxiety rushed through him. Was he being dumb? Should he put his arms down? Were you just going to hit him again?

You blinked back another set of tears. Then you leaped forward and threw yourself into his arms. Enma closed them around you, shut his eyes, and buried his face into your soft hair.

“I love you, [Name]. Can I try again?”

“Only if you promise,” you sniffed, “to never lie to me again.”

Enma smiled. “I promise.”

In return, you wrapped your arms around him. “I love you, too, Enma.”

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wip · 2 years

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hey there!

this is important 👀 what is your favorite taylor swift song???

Answer: A very fine aftermorrow to you, @baileysimone.

Nay, I shan’t believe it. ‘Twas just weeks yonder when I mentioned in this previous WIP that it was thought that Ed Sheeran, the subject of said question, was a close acquaintance of Tay-Tay, aka. Taylor Swift. And here: she materializes in another captivating chapter of the WIP story.

As a result, we have a multi-part answer for you to this latest, imperative question you raise with us: The Taylor Swift Question. We’ve been expecting you.

Jon (Tumblr Marketing): It is funny you should pose such a question as the music of Taylor Swift has, in its strange ways, been a constant presence threaded through the tapestry of my adolescence. We are of similar age (only Tay-Tay is a few years my senior), and her path is one that, in some unexpected twists, mirrors my own. For example, I was in a history class with none other than Harry Styles’ cousin during college. Only he and I, sadly, did not share such a passionate liaison; let alone did I pen a global hit based on the events of the affair!

One song, however, seared into the rear-view mirror of my youth is Red (2012), from the album of the same name. At the time of the record’s release, I was but a mere shop assistant at a (now defunct, “lol”!) British department store. I was tasked with working in the children’s wear department; it was not a position I handled with much skill or confidence. When I wasn’t being mercilessly picked on by one senior member of staff named Ernie, botching almost every transaction handed expectedly to me by customers, waiting to go home and be disappointed by Halo 4, or doing my hair in the mirrors, I was strolling the luminous white halls and listening to the music reverberating through the store speakers.

One day, one such composition began with a captivating, shimmering guitar line; it was tinged with the moreish melancholy that only the most intoxicating dalliances in love and lust can induce. Loving him is like driving a new Maserati down a dead-end street, Tay-Tay began, faster than the wind, passionate as sin, ending so suddenly…; I stood mesmerized, no longer fixated by my own reflection but by the yearning in her voice. But loving him was red, Tay-Tay sang, re-e-e-ed, re-e-e-ed, RE-E-E-ED, RE-E-E-ED. And there I, too, stood crimson*.

*The problem with working at department stores, as many others may attest, is that the same music plays over, and over, and over, within the same day. It is then repeated day, after day, after day. In short, Red (2012) Taylor-Swiftly became a nuisance.

Secondly, I made previous reference to one Mr. Styles. As such, my second choice is Trouble (2012), from the same record, thought to be inspired by the affair between his esteemed person and Tay-Tay. For all its artistic merit and complexity in composition, the song quickly became infamous for one startling remix; a remix which was not only a striking and compelling take on the original work, but all the more remarkable when one considers it was produced by a goat. As sproglets, my friends and I of, nay, little more than 18 years of age, would attend balls and night dances at which we too would intoxicate ourselves with liquor and harbor hopes of romantic affairs by the moonlight. Trouble (Goat Remix) was one such number played at these affairs. On arrival of the chorus, one and all would scream with goat-inspired delight in tribute to a most talented ruminant mammal.

Thirdly, and finally, my simplest choice. Shake It Off (2014), was the soundtrack to many a night’s entertainments during my first years at university; nights in which strobe lights would flash, the floors were sticky with alcohol and enthusiasm, and couples would vanish into the bathrooms for discreet merriment. Night after night, Ms. Swift, unseen, would chant of play play play play play…, hate hate hate hate hate…, shake shake shake shake shake it off…, and we would all dance like those long inflatable dancey men one encounters at used car dealerships; it was an altogether wonderful time. And as I grew older and more distant from Ms Swift, I, too, nonetheless learned of the music in my mind assuring me that it’s gonna be alright.

L (Tumblr Engineering):

Blank Space: doesn’t have a story, I just like it.

Welcome To New York: this song brought me to Tumblr. Here’s how (#long post):

I was living in Mexico City with my husband, my toddler, and my dog. My daughter started watching movies, and at the time, her favorite was “The Secret Life of Pets,” and for a 2-year-old, it means watching the same movie over and over and over and over. The movie starts with “Welcome To New York,” while Max rides a bike with Katie through central park. To avoid my kid from watching too much TV, we started playing the soundtrack in the living room… so more “Welcome To New York” was subconsciously whispering that “its been waiting for you.” At some point, we planned “the last holidays before our daughter turned 2” to NYC. This was when I visited Tumblr’s office when it was still part of Verizon Media Group, where the unicorn lived, along with a giant pizza slide and weird signs, Guy Fieri’s posters… You could just breathe the team culture, and I wanted to be part of it. Fast-forward 2 years later, I finally decided it was time to apply to a8c and join Tumblr Staff, and here I am.

Shake It Off: no long story here. We just put our ballet skirts at home and dance this. And yes, this includes my son, he wears a ballet skirt too, and he loves it. And yes, I “let” him wear one. As someone who grew up among 4 boys, I hated being left out or not “allowed” to play some game or with some toys because it was “boys only.” I don’t believe in “boys only” or “girls only.”

Julia (Tumblr Engineering): I love ME! (feat. Brendon Urie) 👌

Cyle (Tumblr Engineering): Who’s Taylor Shift

Best,

—Your good friends at WIP.

#editorial #WIP speaks #taylor swift

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studentofhistory · 8 months

Text

The Secret World Backer RAW PDF

So I got my copy of the RAW Backer PDF and here's what stood out to me from the lore chapters (spoilers below the break):

General

It's been 10 years since the Tokyo Incident, and Gaia has started a new "mass awakening" of bees after the 2012 surge.

Apparently, something called "The Long Night" has made everyone's memories kind of hazy about what has exactly happened in the past 10 years, the Hive might have triggered a "soft reboot" of the Fourth Age.

It also mentions that with so many active bees this time 'round, Anima is being spread a little thin.

There's sense that the Secret World has been pushed back into the shadows, but the End of Days have gotten more urgent, and the Gaia Engines are in a worse state than they were in the MMO.

There's more information on the origins and motivations on the Host, Grigori, and Nephilim.

Zuberi is the default mission contact, though you can make use of your own. He's also the Independent "faction handler".

Sarah has made it out of Tokyo and now is working in Paris

Factions

Amparo Osorio is now the public head of the Council of Venice, Arturo Castiglione was forced to retire after the whole Phoenician blackmail was revealed.

Apparently Lorraine did have another child, named Emma, while she was a Council agent and they told her the child had been stillborn. Make of that what you will.

The Big Three have remained much the same, but Dame Julia went missing going after Marquard in the DRC, and the Dragon have a new Golden Child.

Sonnac is also confirmed to be related to 13th Century Templar Guillaume de Sonnac.

Bong Cha is still in Seoul, the Dragon had placed in her in a psychiatric treatment center after Daimon took over....and she wandered back to the temple and is being treated as if she's a new recruit.

Che leaked a bunch of Morninglight files about the Tokyo bombing and split the cult in half. Marquard and his followers are still holed up in the DRC, and Che took the new age crowd to Costa Rica.

Solomon Island

Solomon Island ... is fine, everything's fine. Helen Bannerman is now mayor, Andy Gardner is Sherrif and married to Moose, Rogêt is still playing up the fake psychic schtick and everything is fine...

Except no one can remember what exactly happened because of the Long Night, including how the fog was lifted and the anniversary of Andy and Moose's wedding.

Whenever a problem does come up and Andy goes to investigate, it magically solves itself as if it never happened in the first place.

Norma Creed might have also disappeared before the Fog was lifted.

Montag, Usher, and Carter from Innsmouth Academy actually do remember the past 10 years, and Montag was able to discover a way to cure a Filth infection in its early stages. Unfortunately he himself is in a terminal stage and can't leave the academy grounds without risking the spells holding his infection in stasis.

Carter is working for the Illuminati to discover a cure for Montag. She needed massive resources and few scruples, the firm of Eye, Heart & Pyramid has both.

The Wabanaki have completed that eyesore casino, but they mostly use it to perform their rituals to keep back the Dreaming One under Blue Mountain.

Did I mention a new mining company bought the Blue Ridge Mine and are actively excavating the Gaia Engine?

Egypt

Meanwhile in Egypt, the Valley of the Sun God remain under the watchful protection of the Marya, even as the Atenists apparently take a page out of the Morninglight playbook and opened a "Wellness Center" in town.

Shani still runs the Marya from town, while Nassir is in charge of the Training Camp protecting the City of the Sun God. Apparently he and Said play online scrabble together.

The Sentinels are no longer bound to their statues in the City of the Sun God, but they can communicate through their old shrine...maybe? Either way Marya have taken over guarding the site.

Abdul Doud is a story hook since we never find his body after Last Train to Cairo.

Transylvania

Remnants of Mara's Vampires still wander Transylvania, but not in the same number as in the MMO.

The Draculesti have made their way back to Transylvania, mostly to keep an eye on things.

A Werewolf pack has made their way to the Carpathians, claiming to want to create a home for werewolves among the mountains

They don't want the werewolves who served in Mara's army though, apparently they're tainted.

There is a new facility in the Nursery, called the Bachman Institute, that studies the effects of Fungal Filth on voluntary test subjects.

Tokyo

Anima managed to cleanse Kaidan, but her and the Gaia Engine have vanished from Orochi Tower.

Kaidan is now the Secret World equivalent of Casablanca with Kaoru and the Dream Palace playing the role of Rick Blaine and his cafe.

Ricky Pagan has started new gang of Pagans to watch over Ginpachi park.

Harumi and Yuichi have a new apartment outside of Kaidan.

New Stuff

There are three new cities, Boston, Paris, and Mumbai

Boston has its own Illuminati branch office, who think themselves the rivals of the New York office.

The city is the home of several magical covens, some more subtle than others, all of them don't trust the Illuminati.

There's also a group of former black ops government agents in Boston who got burned out covering up the Secret World.

The Fog has rolled into Boston Harbour.

Paris Templars are apparently less posh than London Templars and are constantly fighting against the ghouls that inhabit the Paris catacombs. They may have caused the Notre Dame fire....

The Templars supported the French Revolution once they discovered the Bourbons were reptilian demons from the Hell Dimensions.

Mumbai is Dragon territory, but is also home to a Jinn worshiping cult and the new headquarters of the Orochi Group.

Samael has created a new cult of Kali (which is a little Temple of Doom, but is explicitly noted to be different from actual Kali worship) in an effort break Lilith from the extra-dimensional prison the Nephilim locked her up in. It hides behind the facade of a gym in Mumbai.

#TSW #The Secret World #Secret World Legends #TSW RPG #The Secret World RPG #Long Post

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masterofdemise · 1 year

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(MFB OCs) Fifionne and He Li Hua Info Dump

I came up with some more information on Fifionne and He Li Hua, so I’m going to share them here so I don’t forget about them :p

Fifionne:

Fifionne is not her actual name. Legally, her name is Inari Miyata. Fifi was named after the Japanese God Inari. Her parents named her after the god itself due to their association with harvest, agriculture, and well, foxes. Miyata means "rice paddy of the shrine", also connecting to Inari in a way due to the god also being associated w/ rice. Since Fifionne's mother is the head of the Inari Shrine in Japan (in my MFB universe), Fifionne herself has a lot of connections related to shrine maiden sort of things (hence her alt outfit I posted 1-2 weeks ago). It hasn’t been decided yet but Fifionne’s dad is some sort of agricultural business man. Fifionne originally used her current name as her English name when she went to a summer exchange program outside of Japan (not sure where but she meets He Li Hua there).

Fifionne begins to go by this name fully after the Sessho-Seki incident of 2012 (this event occurs ten years earlier than in real-life to align with the Nemesis incident since Fifionne’s evil arc occurs after). Since Fifionne is almost possessed by the spirit of Daji/Tamamo-no-mae in order to corrupt her, Fifionne forgoes her original name to try and separate herself from Inari. When Fifionne finally goes back to normal, she still uses the name Fifionne but also no longer cares if people want to call her by her normal name.

Fifionne’s original bey was a Flame Fox TH170D, but it ends up getting discarded for her new bey, Divine Fox TH170EWD.

He Li Hua:

As a proud member of the Beylin Temple, she is initially very against the Beylin Fist rejoining the Beylin Temple due to the many unjust actions committed by the Beylin Fist, including working alongside Nemesis and attempting to humiliate the Beylin Temple during Metal Fury. As someone who cares a lot about balance and harmony, she refuses to allow Aguma and the others to join the Beylin Temple unless they are able to prove they can really change for the better. This is not helped by Li Hua seeing the Beylin Fist as a nasty stain in Beylin Temple’s history and also seeing them as inferior. Team Wang Hu Zhong is split between letting in the Beylin Fist as Li Hua makes a reasonable point in her argument. She challenges Aguma to a bey battle to settle the dispute, but they draw after Li Hua realizes Aguma proves himself. Although Li Hua is still very weary and cautious of the Beylin Fist members for a period of time, she learns to get along with them and they eventually become friends some years before the events of Zero-G/Shogun Steel.

Fifionne and He Li Hua:

The two of them have some similar design motifs, mainly their hair and earrings. Fifionne has mostly white hair as many of Inari’s messengers (the god) are pure white kitsunes. However, Fifionne does not have pure white since she herself is not fully connected to the god due to her not really caring much about her shrine duties at all (hence her leaving home to pursue different paths).

Li Hua has a white to transitioning black hair to resemble Chinese ink wash paintings. This goes with the rest of her design, which is mostly achromatic asides from a few accent colors spread throughout.

Fifionne and He Li Hua are both best friends, meeting each other during a Summer exchange program. They got along very well and have been keeping in touch with one another ever since. Their earrings on matching sides is a symbol of their everlasting friendship. This is especially so since the two of them have associations with longevity and immortality.

Even though they seem quite similar to one another, their ideals and perspectives are quite different. He Li Hua is a lot less selfish or willing to step on others to get what they want in comparison to Fifionne. Fifionne is not afraid to be mean or pull nasty tricks to get what she wants.

He Li Hua is much more traditional in comparison to Fifionne. While He Li Hua is happy to maintain her strict family traditions, Fifionne couldn’t care less about working as a shrine maiden at all. While she loves that her family has such a strong connection to foxes, Fifionne has no interest in confining herself to the family temple. She is more adventurous by nature, and wants to have the freedom to pursue the things she cares for most. It’s not to say He Li Hua or Fifionne is better in what they want to do, people have unique interests and the two are no different.

Here is just some of the information. I have quite a lot of things to say about design elements for the two of them but that would make this post infinitely longer so I think I’ll save that for another time...

#metal fight beyblade #beyblade oc #mfb oc #oc #demise rambles #masterofdemise oc

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fabuloustrash05 · 2 years

Note

Hey! I have a question about your Oc Ayame 🌸,

she ever wondered who her biological parents were?, why they abandoned her?, or she doesn't know that she's adopted?, or she doesn't care about them?.

I'M SORRY IF IT'S SO MANY QUESTIONS--

Here’s the short answer:

Yes she has.

They couldn’t take care of her… for reasons.

She knows very well that she’s adopted. It’s pretty obvious when you’re a human girl and your father is a mutant turtle.

She cares about her birth parents despite never knowing them, but in the end, to Ayame, Leo is her father and she loves him.

Here’s the long answer:

So for my OC Ayame I originally planned for her mother to be Lotus Blossom (from the 87 series) but she would never really be a present character, it was just a fun way to incorporate more classic 80s tmnt characters, but then I ended up creating my own version 2012 Lotus Blossom that you can check out HERE

I still liked the concept of Lotus being my OC Ayame’s biological mother, but my 2012 Lotus is from another time period (700 AD to be exact) so I wondered how I would be able to work with both ideas, but I finally do have my story for Ayame and even her mother Lotus Blossom.

I’ll try to keep this part short: Leo meet Lotus Blossom during another one of his time traveling adventures with his brothers and Renet to 700 AD China. During their journey to get back home Leo bonded with Lotus and soon a romantic spark began ignite between them.

Renet warned Leo NOT to develop any deep relationships with anyone from the past for this could effect their future. Renet even informed Leo that according to her Time Scepter Lotus it’s not supposed to live, that she will eventually die during her journey that they are accompanying her on. Leo, now in love with her, doesn’t want that to happen to her so Leo effects history by preventing Lotus’ traffic death. Lotus’ timeline has now changed.

By the end of their journey Leo and Lotus say their goodbyes for he knows he cannot stay with her and they cannot be together because of the different time periods their from. But Lotus does give Leo a kiss goodbye (my blue boy finally gets his first kiss) before she rides off on her horse, never to see Leo again.

Renet knows with Lotus still alive this leads to the possibility of changing history. Basically the butterfly effect. So Renet puts it upon herself to keep an eye on Lotus using her Time Scepter, watching Lotus grow older, become a young woman, and eventually have a daughter. The day of her daughter’s birth, Renet arrives again. She informs Lotus that her daughter was never meant to be born for that lotus was supposed to die as a teenage girl (the day she met the turtles) and how now her fate is finally reaching her for she is dying from child birth. Renet tells her that her daughter’s existence will effect the world’s history and she cannot allow that. Lotus understood the situation and knew her time was nearing its end, but was still grateful that thanks to Leo she was able to have a longer and happy life, but she knew due to the butterfly effect her daughter could not exist in this time period. Lotus request to Renet that her daughter be taken to Leo’s time period and be raised by him, for she knew he’d take care of daughter and protect her as well as history will remain its course. As a token to always be with her daughter she gives her a special hair pin in the shape of a lotus flower (that my OC Ayame always wear).

Renet agrees to Lotus’s request and as Lotus meets a peaceful death as she closes her eyes, Renet with the baby girl travels to the present day (turtles are adults now) and leaves the baby on the door step of Leo’s dojo in Japan. She knocks of the door and leaves. Leo opens the door to find the little baby girl he will eventually name “Ayame”.

Now I know what you’re wondering “Does Leo know that Ayame is Lotus blossom’s (aka the woman he deeply loved and changed history for) daughter?”

My answer: Yes. As soon as he saw the hair pin Ayame had with her he knew she was Lotus’ daughter for she wore the same hair pin when he first met her <3

So that’s my official story of my TMNT 2012 OC Ayame! Thank you so much for asking this question! I’ve been wishing to share this concept but never had the opportunity to!

#also don’t worry #I love answering questions about my OCs #I’m glad someone finally asked this so I can share Ayame and Lotus’ official story!#asks #answered #deliciousdonutfestivalfriend #tmnt 2012 #tmnt #teenage mutant ninja turtles #tmnt leonardo #renet tilley #lotus blossom #Leo x Lotus #Leo x lotus blossom #tmnt Ayame #ayame hamato #tmnt oc #tmnt next gen oc

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purplesurveys · 2 years

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1443

survey by joybucket

Have you ever had a pet that was black and white? Yes! Kimi’s white and used to have black fur on his ears, but that’s all faded out as he’s aged.

Which cartoon character do you think you look the most like? Diane Nguyen.

What are three places you've been on vacation? China, South Korea, Malaysia.

What are three places that you want to go on vacation? India, Turkey, Thailand.

Come up with 3-10 words using the letters in your first name. Sure...uh, there’s rob, nor, born, orb, and boy.

What are three things you are thankful for? That it’s Friday today; my friends; my dad being around.

What are three things you wish you had, but you don't? A million pesos, wireless earphones, and a loft bed.

Where does your last name originate from? Spain and Portugal.

Do you like to take pictures? I like it just fine. I don’t always do it but I tend to whip out my phone’s camera when with friends, or a group I’m comfortable with.

What are three of your favorite things to take pictures of? Food, landscapes, and my dogs.

What year were you born? 1998.

What song was the most popular the year you were born? I’m not sure what the biggest song had been for the entire year, but apparently the #1 song on the week of my birthday is All My Life by K-Ci and JoJo? I’ve never heard of that before but there you go.

What are three great toppings for pancakes? Bacon, peanut butter, and whipped cream.

If you could choose an Olympic sport to compete in, what would it be? Table tennis.

What is something new that you've learned in the past year? NBA trading cards, lessons courtesy of Hans. As someone who collects photocards, I was genuinely interested in how the card culture is in basketball hahaha. I should check in on Hans to see how much his card collection has grown since we had that discussion.

What is your favorite song at the moment? I don’t usually have a current favorite song; I just listen to whatever songs I feel like listening to at a given moment.

What is your birthstone? Diamond.

What is your favorite gemstone? I don’t really have one so when I get asked this I just go with diamond.

Have you ever had a friend that had the same name as you? Nah but I got to work with a Robyn before! I didn’t and don’t consider her a friend though, lmao.

What are three of your favorite musical instruments? Piano, violin, and saxophone.

What are three things you are good at? I’m good at writing; at listening to people and reading them and remembering the little details about them; and people usually come to me when they’re needing food or bar recos so I guess I’m good at that too?

What are three things you are not good at? Singing, creating art, and cooking.

List 5-10 positive adjectives that start with the first letter of your name. You have rad, radiant, reliable, rational, rosy, revolutionary, and robust.

Do you think your hair looks better long or short? I think it looks fine either way, but I do prefer the way I look like when it’s shorter. My hair’s really thick so it takes up so much of my head the longer it gets.

What year did you join Facebook? I joined in around 2012 or 2013 when I had no choice but to sign up – we were required to post a video on there for a school project.

What was your high school's mascot? We didn’t have a mascot, just school colors.

How many people do you know whose name starts with Y? A number. The name Yana/Yanna is pretty common here.

What's your favorite kind of birthday cake? Cheesecake. I like chocolate cake too but it’s mostly a hit or miss for me.

What's your least favorite animal? Cockroaches.

Do you own washi tape? Yes, Angela gave me a roll a few months ago for my photocard toploaders and such.

What is the last craft project you completed? I’ve never completed any artsy thing I started.

What health issues do you have (if you want to answer)? I have scoliosis. This one is pretty much on its way to healing, but I’m also currently dealing with a sprained ankle.

Do you know anyone who is colorblind? I don’t think so. Not to my knowledge, anyway.

Have you ever seen a double rainbow? I’ve probably encountered it once or twice.

What color was your first phone? It was I think grey but already came in red casing when my parents gifted it to me.

Was your first phone a flip phone? It wasn’t; it was one of the older Nokia phones that came with the Snake game.

What are three things you like to do at the beach? Swim, talk with friends while sitting on the sand, sunbathe.

Do you own a Santa hat? I know I do, I always just keep forgetting where it is.

Which of these names do you like best: Simone, Carlotta, Rhiannon, Skylar, or Jade? Ooooh, all these names are really pretty. I’d have to go with Rhiannon though, then Carlotta.

How many people do you know named Chloe/Cloe? A good amount; it’s a fairly common name where I’m from.

How many people do you know named Zoe/Zoey? I’m pretty sure Jo’s ex after Aya was a Zoey.

Who was your first best friend (besides a sibling)? Angela.

When did you last go to the doctor? May 2020.

What's your favorite thing about going to the dentist? Idk, getting my teeth professionally cleaned maybe? I honestly find the whole process satisfying, hahaha.

What year did you graduate high school? 2016.

What's a vlog channel you like to watch on YouTube? Ooooh not very big on vlogs anymore; I find that they mostly bore me now. I just catch up with channels that regularly do funny compilations of BTS, and Good Mythical Morning.

Have you ever been hypnotized? No and I don’t believe in that either.

What's your favorite fruit? Avocado.

What are you allergic to? Grass, if I’m exposed to it long enough.

Do you prefer crossword puzzles or word searches? Word searches. I’m not too great at crossword puzzles, actually.

Do you like unicorns? No.

What is your favorite Halloween candy? Idk what separates ‘Halloween candy’ from just ‘candy’ lol, but in any case my favorite candies are Twix and Reese’s. I guess they’re more chocolate than candy, but still.

What was the last thing you spray-painted? I don’t think I’ve ever used spray paint on anything.

What are three Pinterest crafts you'd like to try? I’m not a big Pinterest user, so I don’t have the first clue what the trending crafts there have been/are.

What was the last type of pie you ate? Pizza, I guess? Hahahaha.

List five things you like that are brown. Chocolate, peanut butter, brown dogs, coffee, cookies.

Have you ever experienced a tragedy? In various formats, yes.

Do you prefer oak trees or maple trees? I don’t have a preference; I’ve never seen either anyway.

Do you pray to God every day? No.

What are three of your favorite Christmas carols? I don’t have any favorites.

Do you like pumpkin spice? I’ve never tried it, so idk what to think of it.

What is your favorite thing to drink in the summer? Just really, really, really cold water.

Do you own anything with a British flag on it? I doubt it.

Do you own anything with an American flag on it? I also doubt it.

What were your favorite stores at the mall when you were a teenager? Forever 21, Topshop, and Cotton On, to name a few.

Do you own an umbrella? Yup.

Would you rather carve or paint a pumpkin? I want to try carving! That’s not really a Halloween tradition here but it looks kind of fun.

What are three things you've gotten a lot of compliments on? My writing, work ethic, and...idk, resilience, I guess? People have drawn attention to my ~strength after some personal struggles and that’s always nice to hear.

#survey #surveys

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bigmacdaddio · 11 months

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The Beach Boys And Beatles 101 : The Bands The Music The History · Al Jardine At 80 Years Old. His Voice Is Stronger Than Ever

The Sometimes Overlooked Beach Boy, Who Definitely Deserves Some Recognition. Especially Now More Than At Any Other Time. With Brian, Carl, Dennis and Mike Love all in the same band and his low key quiet demeanor, he at times takes a back seat in recognition to the rest of his band mates. Born originally in Ohio, Al would eventually spend the majority of his youth in Hawthorne, California where he would end up meeting a young Brian Wilson in his High School years. At first it wasn’t music that brought the two friends together but football as they both were on the high school team.

Eventually Al would learn that not only Brian but his baby brother Carl had talent in music. It would be when both Brian and Al attended college that the two came up with idea of forming a band as they worked out harmony vocals in the college’s music room. Originally Al wanted to push Brian into forming a Folk group because of his love of that genre of music and his love or playing banjo and acoustic guitar. It obviously didn’t work out that way but through the years Al definitely brought a folk influence to the band, the best example of course is the song “Sloop John B” on the “Pet Sounds” album. Al would play stand up bass on the very first Beach Boys’ song “Surfin” before realizing their might not be a stable future in the music business, leaving the group to pursue a career in dentistry.

It’s obvious that Brian Wilson definitely respected Al and his talent as a musician, especially since he was more than happy to allow him back into the band to play his bass parts. For a brief period both Al and his replacement David Marks were in the band together, yet David would leave a short time later and Al would become the band’s rhythm guitar player, harmony vocalist and eventually a lead vocalist on assorted songs, the first being 1964’s “Christmas Day”. From there Al’s voice would be featured notably on songs like “Help Me Ronda” (and Rhonda), “I Know There’s An Answer”, “Lookin’ At Tomorrow (A Welfare Song)”, California Saga : California “, “Lady Lynda”, just to name a few. He’s also proven his talent for taking cover songs from other artists and turning them into great Beach Boys tunes. “Then I Kissed Her”, “Sloop John B” “Cotton Fields”, “Come Go With Me”, and “California Dreamin’” are all great examples.The ability he’s had through the years with his voice to cover many of the songs originally sang by Brian for the live shows was also one of his most vital contributions to the band.

Of course we also can’t forget that in some ways he gets a pass where Mike Love doesn’t. Al definitely was a huge ally to Mike in the mid to late 1970s which put him at odds with Dennis and Carl Wilson by pushing to keep The Beach Boys as a nostalgia act. It’s kind of ironic now that he and Mike no longer are close, and Mike did everything in his power to kick Al out of the band when Carl Wilson got sick in the late 1990s, even bringing David Marks back which Al definitely wasn’t happy about. Al would lose the right to use any part of The Beach Boys name in his concerts which made the late 90s and the following decade a tough time for him personally and professionally. He did however form a touring act with his two sons and Brian’s two daughters (Carnie and Wendy) known as “Al Jardine’s Family And Friends” which did get some great concert reviews. Thankfully the tide has definitely turned for Al.

Over the last decade he has truly been an unsung hero to both The Beach Boys and Brian Wilson as a solo artist. For one thing, his voice may be better now than it ever has been. The man is freaking 80 years old and his voice soars more now than ever. If you need proof just listen to the beautiful song “From There To Back Again” from the 2012 Beach Boys’ reunion album “That’s Why God Made The Radio”, which in my humble opinion is his greatest moment ever as a Beach Boy. That coupled with his excellent work on Brian’s “No Pier Pressure” solo record proves his voice has the ability to make a good Brian Wilson song great. He’s been a regular in Brian’s touring band since the reunion tour and after, to this day, touring with Brian on his acclaimed “50th Anniversary Pet Sounds” tour, and most recently Brian’s last tour in 2022.

He also released a solo record in 2010 called “A Postcard From California” that is in no way any type of artistic statement, yet hardly a embarrassment either. Through it all Al has proven he can be a class act, especially with the fans, and even though he doesn’t get the recognition that both Brian and even Mike Love still get, he has done more than enough to earn every Beach Boys fan’s respect. Hopefully Brian has some more great songs on the horizon for his angelic voice.

Essential Albums : With The Beach Boys-Little Deuce Coupe (1963) Shut Down Volume 2 (1964) All Summer Long (1964)The Beach Boys’ Christmas Album (1964) The Beach Boys Today ! (1965) Summer Days (And Summer Nights !!) (1965) Beach Boys’ Party (1965) Pet Sounds (1966) Smiley Smile (1967) Wild Honey (1967) Friends (1968) 20/20 (1969)Live In London (1970) Sunflower (1970)Surf’s Up (1971) Carl And The Passions : So Tough (1972) Holland (1973) The Beach Boys In Concert (1973) 15 Big Ones (1976)Love You (1977) MIU Album (1978) L.A. (Light Album) (1979) Keepin’ The Summer Alive (1980) The Beach Boys (Self Titled 1985) Summer In Paradise (1992) Good Vibrations : Thirty Years Of The Beach Boys (Box Set) (1993) Endless Harmony Soundtrack (1998) Hawthorne CA : Birthplace Of A Musical Legacy (2001) Good Timin’ Live At Knebworth England 1980 (2002) The Smile Sessions (2011)That’s Why God Made The Radio (2012) Made In California (Box Set) (2013) 1967-Sunshine Tomorrow (2017) The Beach Boys With The Royal Philharmonic Orchestra (2018) 1968-Wake The World : The Friends Sessions (2018)1968-I Can Hear Music : The 20/20 Sessions (2018) Feel Flows (Box Set) (2021) Sail On Sailor (Box Set) (2022)

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the-letter-horror-lover · 1 year

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Unholy Creatures by FormerLoserWeeb

Anime » Kuroshitsuji Rated: T, English, Romance, Sebastian M., OC, Words: 10k+, Favs: 114, Follows: 128, Published: Nov 5, 2012 Updated: Oct 24

73Chapter 1: One

2022 Wilma: Hello! So, I've been writing this fanfiction (originally titled His Butler, In Love) since I was 13 years old. I'm 23 now with a shiny new English degree and still trucking on this story. I want to continue writing this one, but the first chapters are *jean ralphio voice* Garbaaaaaage because I was 13 and barely knew how to write.

OG readers, do not panic. Yes, the name is different. Yes, the old chapters are gone. NO, they will not stay gone! NO, it is not a different story. I'm just going through and editing everything (yes, EVERYTHING) from the last 10 years and reuploading. This means the story will be massively improved. Fear not, the story will be back and better than it was before (with bonus content)!

The sound of the doorbell ringing through the large house was incessant.

Ciel groaned. He had been about to call upon Sebastian to begin readying for bed, but it appeared there would be a delay. Who was at the manor so late? "Answer the door, Sebastian."

"Yes, master."

Ciel yawned loudly and stretched in his seat at the large desk in the study. His days seemed long as of late, the work never-ending as autumn began and signaled the start of Funtom's preparations for the holiday season.

Ciel rose and strode to the front of the manor at a leisurely pace. "What's the meaning of this?" He asked as he walked up behind Sebastian.

"It appears the reapers have a stray for us," Sebastian said.

The reapers? Ciel thought, peeking around Sebastian to see the reaper William with a young girl next to him, her dress filthy and brown hair disheveled. Who is that?

The girl looked far away, confused, and frightened. What happened to her?

"Good evening," William greeted the Earl. "I'm sorry to come so late, but you and your entourage seem to be the safest place for her. Her name is Angeline."

"Why did you bring her here?" Ciel asked.

"It seems we have not rid ourselves of those pesky angels just yet," William said. "And Ash has taken a liking to Angeline."

Ciel's eyes narrowed. Ash.

"Her family perished in an earthquake and she was abducted by Ash," William continued. "I was able to retrieve her, but she needs somewhere safe to stay until the reapers can dispose of him."

Ciel sighed, reluctantly resigning himself to the wishes of the reaper.

"Take her to a guest bedroom, Sebastian. Any one will do." Ciel instructed to his butler. I will have to notify the Queen of this. Reapers or not, she will want her own task force to handle Ash.

"Yes, master." Sebastian replied. He obediently rushed to the Reaper, who was supporting Angeline at the entrance of the manor. Sebastian swept Angeline into his arms and carried the tired, unresponsive girl to a guest bedroom.

In a house full of the supernatural, the melody in Angeline's head grew louder.

London Bridge is falling down… Build it up with iron and steel… iron and steel will bend and bow… My fair lady.

Ciel now sat at the foot of his bed, no longer tired. He procured newspapers recounting the events of the earthquake that had been the demise of Angeline's family, desperate for anything that would help in finally defeating Ash. "Angeline Juliet Redthorne," Ciel murmured. "Her parents and older sister died in an earthquake and she was nowhere to be found," Ciel said aloud to Sebastian.

"Young Master," Sebastian began, "Go back to bed or I'll unleash your fiancé on you in the morning, and you know how she can dote."

Ciel cursed and got back into bed, knowing it was more reasonable to get his rest and think about this in the morning. He drifted off into an uneasy sleep.

The ground underneath Ciel's feet shook. He was in front of a house in a rural area he had never been to before, facing a large house on acres of green land. A mysterious unknown voice sang from somewhere above Ciel.

"London bridge is falling down, falling down, falling down," It sounded like a man's voice, and vaguely familiar.

"Mother! Father! Sister!" A shrill scream sounded from the crumbling building.

"London Bridge is falling down, my fair lady."

In response, a woman's voice sang from inside the house. "Build it up with wood and clay, wood and clay, wood and clay. Build it up with wood and clay."

"Wood and clay will wash away, wash away, wash away. Wood and clay will wash away, my fair lady."

The woman's voice sounded again. "Build it up with iron and steel, iron and steel, iron and steel. Build it up with iron and steel," A girl appeared in the doorway in a hypnotic trance, green eyes glinting through the smoke.

"Angeline?" Ciel asked. No one appeared to have heard him.

"Iron and steel will bend and bow, bend and bow, bend and bow. Iron and steel will bend and bow, my fair lady," The voice sounded from above.

Angeline continued singing as a winged man came down from the heavens. Ash. Ciel thought bitterly.

Ash sang to Angeline, landing in front of her and taking her hands. "Silver and gold will be stolen away, my fair lady."

"Is there no solution to the broken bridge?" Angeline asked, looking back at the rubble that used to be her home. "Or my broken heart?"

"I'm afraid not, my lady." Ash responded.

"Why did you take my family away?"

"This world is slowly being cleansed, my dear. I'm sorry, Angeline, but it's all part of the process. Angeline, that's such a lovely name. Fit for an angel like me." Ash said, releasing her hands and wrapping one arm around her waist.

"What is the meaning of this, angel?" Angeline asked. She had always been told that angels help people, she read it in her bible and listened to the preachers at church. Surely this angel couldn't be one of them?

"Please, call me Ash," The angel said. "Angeline, shouldn't you have a form worthy of your name? Surely, being human isn't enough for you."

"Actually, it is, thank you very much." Angeline replied. "Besides, why me?"

"Because, I chose you, my dear. Don't you want to be spared? Don't you want to join me in my cleansing?" Ash asked.

Angeline looked once again at her crumbled home. "My mother, my father, my older sister, they're all in there and they won't ever come out again," Angeline looked at Ash with absolute hatred. "If killing innocent people is your idea of a cleansing, I want nothing to do with it. The only thing that needs to be 'cleansed' is demons like you."

Ash frowned. "Well, I should have to try to change your mind," He said. Angeline's eyes widened as his grip tightened on her. "And I am an angel, not a demon."

"Your actions beg to differ." Angeline replied bravely.

"Angeline, get out of there!" Ciel shouted, unheard.

Ash opened his gigantic wings and carried Angeline up, up, and up, higher and higher. Angeline struggled to break free, screaming as loud as she could, but Ash's tight grip on her waist never loosened.

"Angeline!" Ciel shouted again.

Ciel woke with a start. What a strange dream. He thought. Ciel got out of bed and dressed himself, finding Sebastian dusting a stair railing.

"Young Master!" He said, "You're up early."

"I will be eating in my study this morning; I have an important letter to send to her majesty."

"Yes, master," Sebastian said, watching the young Earl retreat to his study.

"Has the Redthorne girl had anything to eat?" Ciel asked, stopping and turning to the Butler.

"She is still asleep, master," Sebastian informed.

"Bring something up to her room for when she wakes up. We don't want her starving while she's here."

"Of course, right away master."

2: Two

2012 Wilma: I've been really busy with school and stuff so I haven't had time to update. Also, the computer was in the family room and i didn't really want anyone looking over my shoulder. My family already thinks I'm a complete nerd XD.

2022 Wilma: Wow, you talk a lot. You really were just writing fanfiction about anime bois in front of your whole family, weren't you?

2012 Wilma: ANYWAYS, my dad gave me a computer for my room (Thanks dad!) so I'll update much more frequently, hopefully on a weekly basis or once every two weeks. We'll see.

2022 Wilma: Dad is such a G, the computer was for school but I bet he noticed how much we were writing and wanted to support it. Anyway, we will now be updating with the improved chapters in order of when the story takes place, so 2-3 times a month.

Sebastian approached the door to Angeline's room, knocking softly on the wood. "Miss Redthorne?"

Angeline didn't answer.

The door opened and she heard something being placed on the bedside table. "I know you're awake, and you really should eat something Miss Redthorne."

Angeline didn't move, she only let out a sigh. "I'm not hungry." She stated simply.

Sebastian frowned. "In that case, the young master wishes to see you in his study. Do you need assistance dressing?" Sebastian asked.

Angeline shot up. "No!"

Sebastian chuckled with an amused smirk plastered on his face and left, closing the door behind him.

Angeline reluctantly got out of bed and opened the wardrobe. The wide array of dresses nauseated Angeline, who hated making decisions. Eventually she chose a dark blue one, not bothering with a corset, and found her way to Ciel's study. Standing at the front of the door, she knocked softly.

"Enter," Ciel mumbled from inside.

Angeline opened the door, stepping inside the large study.

Ciel looked up from his paperwork. "Well, don't you look lovely. please, sit." he said. "Sebastian, tell Mey-Rin to run a bath for Miss Redthorne. She's been missing for three weeks, I'm sure she could use it."

Angeline couldn't even be bothered to take offense. He was right, she certainly smelled like she'd been missing for three weeks.

"Yes, master." Sebastian said before exiting the study.

Ciel put down his pen. "Well, Miss Redthorne," he began.

"Please, call me Angeline," She interrupted.

"Very well, but I didn't bring you in here to chat. I'll be blunt, where were you in the three weeks you were missing? You disappeared immediately after the earthquake that destroyed your home and killed your parents and sister."

There was a long pause as Angeline considered her next words. If she told the truth, Ciel could send her to a pauper's madhouse and she had no one to come looking for her. "You won't believe me if I tell you."

"I assure you, Angeline, I have seen many strange things in my short life. You need not worry about how I perceive you."

Angeline's gaze flicked the the floor. "You'll send me to Bethlam."

Ciel sighed with frustration. Her fears were not unwarranted, she knew not of the supernatural that walked among the citizens of London as Ciel did, but this would certainly be easier if she was willing to be candid.

"I had a disturbing dream last night," Ciel said.

Angeline's brows knitted together, her confusion toward the change in subject clear. Ciel went on, describing the events of his dream to Angeline in as much detail as he could remember. When he was done, he threw a pointed look at Angeline. "Surely what you've been through isn't more unlikely than that."

Angeline was looking at Ciel inquisitively. "That is exactly what happened," She admitted.

"What happened after he carried you off? Before William retrieved you?" Ciel asked.

"Who's William?" Angeline asked.

She doesn't remember last night, Ciel realized. "Before you arrived here," He clarified.

There was a long pause as Angeline thought. "I don't remember."

Of course, nothing could go without some mystery. "That's alright," Ciel said. "What's important is that you're here now and we know of Ash's plans and whereabouts."

A knock sounded. "Enter," Ciel said.

Sebastian opened the door. "Angeline, your bath is ready," He said.

"Thank you, Sebastian," Angeline said.

The sound of his name in her gentle voice was refreshing and Sebastian gave her a smile. "You'll find it at the third room to your right."

Angeline nodded and excused herself from the study. It was true, Sebastian thought, Angeline was dirty enough to say say the least, but she looked lovely in Lizzie's old dress. He watched her leave the study, then turned to Ciel for further instruction.

"Take this and send it to the queen." Ciel instructed, holding the letter out to Sebastian.

"Yes, master." Sebastian replied, taking the letter. "May I?"

"You may as well."

Sebastian walked down the corridor, scanning the letter.

Your Majesty,

I must inform you that I have found Angeline Juliet Redthorne. While she was missing, she was not in hiding as would be expected. She had been kidnapped. I hate to alarm you so soon after your recovery, but the kidnapper was your angelic butler, Ash. he has returned to cleanse the earth once again. I need to know what you would like me to do with Miss Redthorne, she has yet to tell me how she escaped Ash's clutches.

Yours Truly,

Ciel Phantomhive.

"Ash has returned and he is after miss Redthorne," Sebastian mused to himself as he stuffed the letter into an envelope and sent it. "Well, that will not do. I won't stand for it, he should not soil her."

Meanwhile, Mey-Rin, who had been peaking around the corner at Sebastian, turned and walked away in a fit of jealousy. What's so special about her? I know you, Sebastian. I've worked with you for years and she's won you over in a matter of days, yes she has! It's not fair, no it's not!

Lizzie, who was expected at one-thirty, arrived at the estate fifteen minutes early.

"Ciel!" She shrieked, throwing herself at her fiancé.

Ciel grunted as Lizzie ran into him. "Hello, Lizzie," he said, his face reddening in the cheeks. "It's good to see you."

"Oh, I missed you so much!" She exclaimed, squeezing his cheeks. "You're always working, I never get to see you!"

Ciel sighed. "Yes, I am afraid there is much to do today," He said.

"That's not fair!" Lizzie exclaimed. "I came all the way here to see you!"

"I have a guest, Angeline," Ciel began. "She is surely very bored here. Would you and Paula mind terribly taking her shopping? I promise I will be done in time for dinner and dancing."

"Dancing?" Lizzie's voice went up an octave, excited.

Ciel despised dancing, but if it would make Lizzie happy he would endure it.

"You won't mind if I leave you here?" Lizzie asked.

"Not at all, I will see you tonight," Ciel confirmed.

"Alright," Lizzie agreed.

Sebastian knocked on the door, opening it at Ciel's command. "Angeline is here."

"Send her in," Ciel replied.

Angeline stepped into the room. "You look much better," Ciel commented. "Lizzie will spend the afternoon with you, if you don't mind."

"Not at all," Angeline said.

"It will be fun, Angeline!" Lizzie said. "I'm Elizabeth, by the way, it's nice to meet you! You can call me Lizzie."

Angeline smiled at the young girl who could not have been older than thirteen. At twenty-two, Angeline guessed she had to be more than five years older than Lizzie, a similar age difference she'd had with her older sister. A pang ripped through her chest, but she swallowed it down as she followed Lizzie to her carriage, Sebastian in tow at Ciel's request.

"Oh, that dress is just lovely!" Lizzie exclaimed, looking into the window of a shop. "I have so many already, but it would look amazing on you, Angeline!"

"It is certainly eye-catching," Angeline agreed.

"You must buy it! I'm sure you need new clothes at the manor," Lizzie said.

Angeline did not take her eyes off the dress. She had nothing but the clothes she arrived to the manor in and no funds for anything, especially new clothes. Used to decent wealth, Angeline was too embarrassed to admit how dismal her life had become.

"Oh, you think you forgot your money!" Lizzie said. "Sebastian remembered and brought it with us, don't worry! I'm sure it's enough for a few dresses."

My money? Angeline wondered. She had no money, but sure enough, Sebastian was holding a small satchel full of coin toward Angeline.

"Oh," Angeline said. "I would lose my own head if it weren't attached to my neck. Thank you, Sebastian."

Though this saved her from the embarrassment of her abysmal funds, she would have to inquire later about how Sebastian expected her to pay him back.

"Thank you for keeping my company, I get so bored when Ciel is busy!" Lizzie said when they returned from town, Lizzie and Angeline both holding bags of new clothes and Sebastian following behind with stacks of boxes.

"Of course, it was such a fun time!" Angeline replied. Lizzie bid Angeline goodbye before walking in the direction of her fiancé's study while Sebastian took Angeline's things to her room.

With nothing else to do, Angeline wandered through the halls of the exquisite mansion, taking in the craftsmanship of it. Eventually she stumbled upon the kitchen where Sebastian was preparing dinner.

"You didn't pay for my things with your own funds, did you?" Angeline asked.

"The Earl pays me a handsome salary along with the room and board, but I have no need for so much coin. The excess is useful in situations like this," Sebastian replied easily as he chopped vegetables on a wooden board.

"Situations like this?" Angeline asked. "How many kidnapped girls do you house here?" She joked.

Sebastian cracked a subtle smile. "You would be the first."

"I'll pay you back somehow," Angeline assured him.

"No need," he insisted. "Like I said, I have no use for the excess wages. You have been through enough, the least I can do is make life easier for you where I can."

"At the very least, can I help you in here?" Angeline asked.

"Angeline, you are our guest," Sebastian sighed.

"I'd like to help, please."

It took a moment, but Sebastian reluctantly agreed. He set up Angeline at a station to peel potatoes and she happily worked in silence alongside the butler, though she was unsure if she was completing her task correctly. She had never tried to cook before. She was about halfway through the job when one of the potatoes slipped out of her hands and the peeling knife nicked her palm. "Ouch," She murmured.

Sebastian, who had been across the kitchen, was beside Angeline before she could blink. He caught the dropped potato before it hit the ground and put it on the chopping board, then took her hand so he could inspect the damage.

"How did you move so fast?" Angeline asked while Sebastian tended to her cut.

His gaze flicked to her face for only a moment before he continued dressing her wound. "I am simply one Hell of a butler," he said.

Helpful, Angeline thought sarcastically. Sebastian sent her off to ready herself to eat with Ciel and Lizzie.

As she left, Angeline looked back at Sebastian as he worked. Something's odd about that butler...

3: Three

2022 Wilma: Whew! This one was a MONSTER to edit, not gonna lie. I'm not fully satisfied with a few sections tbh, but it's wayyy better than before so at least there's that.

Angeline woke up the next morning feeling groggy. She had never been one to feel well rested upon waking up and it had become worse since the earthquake on account of her anxiety, nightmares, and grief.

Suffice it to say, she was not a morning person. She stumbled out of bed, scavenging a dark orange dress from the wardrobe. In the corner sat a large grandfather clock, alerting her it was 10:15 in the morning. She hadn't realized she slept so late.

As she made her way downstairs she saw Sebastian, who appeared as though he was about to leave. "Where are you off to?" She asked in curiosity.

"Out to run a few errands for the young master," He replied.

"Would you mind if I come?" Angeline asked. "I could use the fresh air."

"I don't see a problem with you accompanying me," Sebastian said. "I'm sure it will be better than babysitting Lizzie."

It was true. Angeline liked Lizzie well enough, but it was hard to form a genuine friendship with the girl, especially when Angeline was five years her senior. Angeline swallowed the lump that formed in her throat when she thought about the inexplicable loneliness she'd been feeling since her family was ripped away from her, especially because she no longer had her sister to keep her company.

Angeline followed Sebastian out the front door and to the carriage. There was an uncomfortable silence for the first part of the ride, the easy silence they had formed in the kitchen nowhere to be found. Angeline looked out the window and Sebastian was staring so intently at her, she would've thought he was trying to see into her soul.

"Sebastian, please stop staring at me like that," she whispered.

Sebastian blinked, then sat back a little further. "My apologies, Angeline." He said sincerely. "That was rude of me; as a Phantomhive butler I should know better."

Angeline merely shook her head. Something was... off about the Phantomhive butler.

"Well," Sebastian started as the carriage stopped, "We've arrived at our first destination. After you, Angeline."

Angeline breathed in the warm air as she walked behind Sebastian. It was a pleasantly warm day and Angeline knew the air would soon have the bite of cold as autumn swept in to make way for winter.

Sebastian led Angeline to a simple market. "You must promise me you'll never tell Bocchan, he'd have a fit if he found out this is where I get our produce," he said with an amused smile.

"I won't tell him, but why? Can't you just get them from where he'd want you to?" Angeline countered.

"To him, labels are everything, but I've found this to be much more reliable and fresh in the produce department than the market he insists he prefers," Sebastian explained, examining the eggplants.

"How can you be sure about that?"

Sebastian shifted his gaze toward her, eyes glinting, a mysterious smile etched onto his face. "You see, I am simply one hell of a butler."

It was the second time he said that and though Angeline had no idea what it meant, something in the way he said it shut her up. She silently followed the butler around the market, observing him as he moved about the stands. That meant something, but what?

Angeline followed Sebastian to five different vendors. She asked him to teach her how to pick the best options out of the selections and he was happy to oblige. "Why do you want to know? If I may ask," Sebastian inquired as he taught her how to spot the best piece of fish.

"My family always hired servants for this sort of errand," Angeline began. "Seeing as I no longer have a family or their wealth, I should learn to take care of myself. going to the market is a small thing, but it's a start."

Sebastian nodded thoughtfully. He knew she was in pain, grieving for her family and processing the trauma she'd been through, but she was handling the situation exceptionally. He did not know many humans who would be as proactive as Angeline was being in her situation.

After they were done shopping for food to stock the manor with, Sebastian began leading her back to the carriage. As they walked, a black cat crossed their path. Bad luck, Angeline thought. Her luck decidedly could not get worse after the events that had taken place in her life lately, so the usual fear instilled in her by her religious and superstitious family was nowhere to be found within her. Sebastian stopped before the cat, hesitating a moment before bending to scratch at its neck. The cat purred, wrapping itself around Sebastian's leg and an easy smile graced the butler's face.

"You like cats?" Angeline inquired.

"I adore them," Sebastian answered, giving the cat one last scratch between the ears before straightening. The cat meowed happily and went on its way. Sebastian watched it disappear into the throng of shoppers before he began leading Angeline to the carriage again.

"Is there a cat of yours at the estate?" Angeline asked as the carriage moved back toward the estate. "The grounds are so big I could have missed it."

Sebastian shook his head. "The master would allow it, but I know he is not fond of animals and I haven't the need."

Angeline hummed thoughtfully, then gazed out the window as the carriage rode into the grounds of the estate.

"Thank you for accompanying me," Sebastian said as they made their way back to the estate. "I must admit, the errands are not as soul-sucking with company."

"Thank you for letting me," Angeline replied, her heart springing upon hearing that Sebastian enjoyed her presence so much. She practically floated up to her room, she was in such a good mood. The fresh air had always done wonders for her.

She stopped short in the corridor when a melody invaded her mind. London bridge is falling down, falling down, falling down...

She vigorously shook her head, willing it away and clearing it out.

It was nothing, only coincidence. Ash put that song in your head for weeks, of course you'd think about it sometimes. Don't worry about him. She told herself.

Still frightened, she slowly made her way to her room, looking out every window to make sure the accursed angel wasn't there. It was nothing. It was was nothing.

"Let me out, Ash! Let me out! Please!" Angeline cried. She couldn't see anything, but she could hear the angel.

"Not until you join me," Ash bargained, his voice calm.

"Ash, please," She sobbed, her voice breaking. "I won't tell anyone, just please let me out."

Ash sighed. The girl didn't understand. "Secrecy isn't what I want. I want you to work beside me. We would make a very good team."

"You know I won't," Angeline spat, some fighting spirit finding its way out of her despite her exhaustion and helplessness. "Let me go."

"This is getting rather tiresome, my dear, and you talk too much. You sound sleepy, shall I sing you a lullaby?"

"No!"

Ash disregarded Angeline's plea and began to sing, the first refrain of "London Bridge" echoing through the room.

"You monster," Angeline said, voice faltering.

"London bridge is falling down, my fair lady."

There was no sound from Angeline.

"Rest well, darling." Ash said. "Hopefully when you wake, you'll learn to see things my way and love me like I love you."

Ash left, certain his dear Angeline wasn't going anywhere. Soon, however, the reaper William entered the room. It was to his advantage that Ash was unaware that as a neutral party between life and death, reapers could occupy any space in not just the human world, but the realms of angels and demons alike. "Found you," William said.

The reaper freed the sleeping Angeline from her prison, softly singing "London Bridge," and her eyes opened. She was awake, but still clearly exhausted.

Then, Angeline woke up. She had fallen asleep on a chaise. The song controls my sleep! I remember! She thought, scrambling off the chaise as quickly as she could so she could tell Ciel, who she knew was speaking with the Queen about Ash's whereabouts. She supposed she shouldn't be surprised that the Royal family was involved with this, but she never considered the reality of the supernatural and how it might affect politics.

A knock sounded at the door to Ciel's study. "Bocchan, you've received a letter from her majesty," Sebastian informed Ciel, holding out a silver tray with a letter on it.

Ciel took the letter and ripped it open.

Ciel,

Thank you so much for informing me about Miss Redthorne and Ash.

I would like you to let her stay at the Phantomhive manor for the time being. She will be safe there and she could be valuable in the new effort to defeat Ash. Make sure she is safe from him. He will come after her, I know him well enough to know that.

Regards,

Victoria.

Angeline joined Ciel for dinner. Afterward, she requested a book from Finny and lounged on a sofa to read.

Several chapters into her book, Sebastian entered the room to check on her. She thanked him and declined his offer of tea or a sweet, saying she'd rather have tea before bed.

"Do you know how to play chess?" Angeline asked.

Sebastian looked at her, expressions quizzical. "Yes."

"Will you teach me?"

There was a pause and Angeline's face heated when she realized Sebastian was likely busy with his duties as a butler. "I'm so sorry!" She said. "You must have so much to do, entertaining a bored girl should be the least of your worries!"

"The Earl has gone to bed," Sebastian said. "We can play chess."

Sebastian procured a chess board and lead Angeline into a lounge. They sat at opposite ends of a small table and Sebastian set up the white side of the board. He had Angeline mirror it on the black side so she could learn how to set it up. "You can play white," He said.

"What does that mean?"

His crimson eyes glanced up at her before moving back to the board to finish setting up the white pawns. "White goes first."

"Is that advantageous?" She asked.

"Of course."

"Then why forfeit the advantage?"

Sebastian spun the board around so the white side faced Angeline. "I prefer playing black," He said. "It's my lucky color, I suppose. Besides," He continued, looking up from the board and flashing a playful, wicked smile at her. "I have every confidence I'll win."

Angeline's face cracked into a grin. "Of course you will," she said. "I've never played before."

Indeed, Sebastian won, but he assured her that her playing would improve the more they kept at it. "The nights get boring when the Earl goes to sleep," The butler said, tucking the chess set under his arm. The pair stood and walked side by side out of the lounge. "Chess instead of duties will be a welcome rest. If you'd like to play regularly, of course."

"You could sleep," Angeline pointed out. Sebastian glanced down at her from the corner of his eye as they walked.

"Of course, but the Earl is young and retires early. It leaves far too much time for me to know what to do with."

Angeline looked ahead so he couldn't see her eyes narrow with suspicion. Liar, she thought. Did the butler sleep? Was he of supernatural existence as Ash was?

She supposed she would find out before long. "I suppose I can entertain you with endless wins in chess," She teased. "But I need to rest."

"Of course. Goodnight, Angeline."

"Goodnight, Sebastian."

As Angeline readied herself for bed, putting on a nightgown and brushing her hair out of it's braid, she couldn't shake the feeling something was watching her.

"London bridge is falling down, falling down, falling down."

Angeline gasped, the brush slipping out of her grip and clattering to the floor. Before she could react or call for help, sleep started to take her.

"London bridge is falling down, my fair lady."

Outside, Ash waited. He was calling her, and she was sure to come.

2012 Wilma: You clipped out Grell's introduction!?

2022 Wilma: Yes! The transphobia was coming from inside the house. Don't worry, Grell will still find their way into the narrative.

4: Four

2013 Wilma: How did I miss the fact that Madame Red's name is Angelina!? It's way too similar to Angeline! God I need to pay more attention!

2022 Wilma: We've never been the most observant.

Ciel woke in a cold sweat. Something is happening, he thought. He quietly climbed out of bed, making his way out of the bedroom and into the corridor. His blasted estate was huge, even walking to the lookout over the entry took far too long. As he scanned the front door for signs of intrusion, Angeline passed next to him, descending the stairs.

"Angeline? What are you doing?" Ciel questioned.

She ignored him, her step steady. Did she hear me?

Suddenly, Angeline started singing. Her soprano voice pierced through the silent manor. "Build it up with iron and steel, my dear angel."

As she sang, the front door swung open with unnatural force, especially because it appeared to open on its own. Wind howled into the foyer, whipping Angeline's hair as it flew around her face. Ash stood outside the door, wings spread, arms wide, waiting for Angeline to come to him.

Ciel's heart dropped, dread pooling into his gut. "Sebastian!" He yelled. "Get Angeline before Ash does!"

Only a moment passed before Ciel's orders were met. Sebastian appeared, grabbing Angeline by the waist and pulling her away. Her gaze stared at nothing, void of expression. Sebastian set her down on a step before flying toward Ash. His eyes gleamed with fury, his distaste for the angel morphing into raw hatred.

He couldn't claim to know Angeline- a few errands and a chess game hardly counted as quality time- but he did know that she didn't deserve what Ash was doing to her. She deserved the simple, charmed life that used to wait for her, not the hysteria that her life had become because of him.

Armed with cutlery, Sebastian took the first swing at Ash. Angeline stood from her seat and wandered back to the angel.

"Build it up with iron and steel," She sang softly.

"Sebastian, the song!" Ciel exclaimed, his voice fearful. He watched as her trance swept her toward the angel as if her fear of him had never existed. "It's as if she's possessed!"

Sebastian's gaze flicked toward Angeline. He knew what was wrong with her and began to sing. "Iron and steel will bend and-"

"No!" Ash roared, interrupting Sebastian's singing. "She will not be taken from me again!"

Sebastian flung an assortment of knives and forks at the angel. They buried into his wings, pinning him to the wall and Ash struggled to free himself to no avail. With each movement, more blood poured out of his wings and onto the floor.

"Ash," Angeline whispered, walking toward the enraged angel. "Build it up with-"

Sebastian swooped by, grabbing Angeline effortlessly, cutting off her singing. He gathered her into his arms and ushered her away from Ash. As he looked at the vulnerable limp girl, he started to sing again. "Iron and steel will bend and bow, bend and bow, bend and bow. Iron and steel will bend and bow, my fair lady."

His voice echoed through the manor and he watched as Angeline's eyes cleared. She blinked and her gaze focused on him. "Sebastian?" She asked.

"Welcome back," He said.

Angeline knew something bad had happened, but she didn't want to worry about it right now. She felt safe with him and she wanted to bask in the calm she felt knowing he had protected her. She sighed, her eyes closing, her fingers clutching the lapel of his tailcoat.

Sebastian's eyes rested intently on Angeline's face. Were her eyes open, the intensity of his gaze would have surely frightened her. When he was sure she wouldn't faint, he looked toward the angel. He wanted to see Ash suffer in watching his own defeat, wanted him to see Sebastian and Angeline in the middle of the floor with her cradled in his arms. The feeling was strange, unlike anything he'd felt before, even in Greece.

Angeline's eyes opened again to look at Sebastian. "What happened?" She asked.

"An angel called you." Came Sebastian's simple reply. Angeline glanced in Ash's direction.

"You!" She exclaimed, outraged. "You put me to sleep, didn't you? You called to me!"

"Angeline, you were meant for me!" Ash insisted in lieu of an answer.

Angeline's eyes closed as she tried to settle her frustration and let out a shaky breath. "Sebastian, put me down," She demanded.

"My lady, I'm not sure that's a good-"

"Put me down, now!"

Sebastian sighed in defeat and set Angeline down. She walked closer to Ash, her gaze full of hatred and anger. "Why won't you leave me alone?" She spat, her voice dripping with venom. Ash appeared to be stuck to the wall, and his wings were bleeding. She stepped closer for a better look. Are those butter knives? And forks?

Ash reached out for Angeline, but Sebastian pulled her back. "Careful now," he said. "Don't get too close." The Phantomhive butler swept Angeline behind him with an arm before he pulled the cutlery from the angel's wings one by one. Ash hurled himself into the air, struggling with his injured wings.

Bang!

Angeline's body recoiled at the loud sound, her eyes scanning to see where it had come from to find that Ash held a pistol on his hands. Where did that come from? She wondered, the thought frantic.

"Angeline!" Ciel shouted. No, I have orders from Victoria to keep her safe!

"Dead or alive," Ash said, crazed and breathless, "She will be mine!"

Angeline flinched further into herself with each shot the angel fired, her heart pounding against her chest as she waited for one of the bullets to pierce her. Ash stopped shooting when he ran out of bullets, his frenzied eyes scanning the room to see if he hit anyone.

Sebastian sighed and set six bullets down onto a nearby table. He launched himself up to Ash's height and grabbed his collar, pulling him down. He brought Ash's face close to his, a mock smile plastered on his face, and Ash's eyes narrowed with distaste. "Ash, you should know to be gentle with a human. They're such fragile creatures."

"You've won this time, but I'll be back for her," Ash muttered darkly, taking his leave.

The manor lapsed into silence, the only sound heard that of Ciel and Angeline's panicked breathing. Angeline looked at the young Earl, who's face had lost its color. "Are you alright?" She asked. He's only a child, she thought.

Ciel gulped, his breath still coming heavy. He looked toward Angeline, surprise glinting behind the fear in his eyes. "Yes, I'm fine," He answered.

Angeline looked toward Sebastian, his voice running through her head. Humans are such fragile creatures. She knew Sebastian was strange, and though she had suspected it before she knew now he wasn't human. Only a being of the supernatural could catch six bullets from the air and take down someone as powerful as Ash with the household silver.

What has my life become? She thought.

In the aftermath of the chaos, Angeline began to feel sick. Ash was gone for the time being, likely to show himself another day, and in the silence Angeline's thoughts turned to what she could have done for God to deal her this hand.

She closed her eyes against the sickness turning in her stomach, her focus turning toward a new effort not to heave. She would never recover from the embarrassment if she soiled the floor of the estate with her sickness.

Her breaths became quick and she struggled to keep them under control, her head beginning to spin as her stomach turned again. She groaned, unable to hide her discomfort, and blinked rapidly to attempt to clear the fog.

Sebastian swore as Angeline's eyes rolled back and her legs buckled underneath her. He was at her side in an instant, catching her and holding her to him before she went down to the floor. He eased her down to the floor, kneeling on one knee so he could support her. Her back rested on his propped thigh and he held her limp head up with his hand. He glanced at her chest to make sure she was breathing and when he saw the steady rise and fall of her lungs he focused on her open eyes, waiting for them come into focus.

"What happened?" Ciel demanded.

"She fainted," Sebastian said. "It was only a matter of time, I suppose, until this happened. I'm sure she's been in a perpetual state of shock since the earthquake and it must be catching up to her."

A small sound escaped Angeline and her eyes blinked rapidly as she woke, her vision clearing and the black fading slowly from the center of her vision to the edges. "Sebastian," her soft voice sounded as she took in the sight of him, her thoughts still catching up to her.

Ciel sighed, resting his forearms on the banister and hanging his head. Several moments passed before he spoke again. "Take care of her," he instructed. "I'm going back to bed."

"Yes, master."

Sebastian watched as Ciel disappeared toward his bedroom then looked back to Angeline. She lifted herself to sit on her own and braced hand on the floor to stand.

Sebastian's hand moved to her shoulder and pushed down, preventing her from moving further. "You shouldn't stand," he said, stopping her and hoisting Angeline into his arms. She began to protest, but found herself without energy for anything as he carried her to her room. She fisted and flexed her fingers, her hands and feet tingling after her spell.

Sebastian set her on her bed, murmuring "forgive me," as he unlaced her dress and stripped her to her chemise. She couldn't bring herself to protest, too exhausted to feel uncomfortable. She shifted to settle into bed, her eyes closing as Sebastian settled the quilt over her.

"Thank you," she mumbled as her thoughts began to fade again, sleep overtaking her.

Sebastian blinked in surprise, shocked she was still able to express her thanks considering how tired she must be. He settled into a chair near her bed, ears tuned to listen to his surroundings should Ash reappear while she was so vulnerable. His eyes focused on the nearest place that could be used to enter the manor- the window.

Well into the night Sebastian was still keeping watch as Angeline slept, never losing focus on the surroundings.

Suddenly, he heard Angeline let out a fearful cry and his eyes snapped toward her. The bedding rustled as she tossed and turned and he leapt from his seat, swiftly crossing the room. He leaned over her bed, reaching out to shake her awake just as her eyes flew open and she shot upward in bed, her hand settling over her heart. Sebastian's head jerked back several inches to avoid their faces colliding as his eyes widened, surprised. Angeline's panicked gaze flicked to meet his eyes, her breathing heavy. He's so close, she mused, looking into the dull crimson eyes several inches from hers.

"Are you alright?" Sebastian asked.

Angeline looked down to where his hand had stilled on its way to wake her. "Bad dream," She muttered. Her eyes watered and she tried to blink them away, but her body no longer allowed her to ignore her misery. Tears slipped down her face and she slumped back, her head tilted upward as it rested against the headboard.

Sebastian's thumb wiped at her cheek, leaving it burning in its wake. Angeline shook her head softly. Her thoughts an feelings were so muddled, her heart heavy at the same time it pounded from his touch.

"It's been a... long night," Sebastian began. "You should rest."

Angeline couldn't have agreed more, but her body was alive with panic and something else she couldn't place. "I can't," She said. "Ash might come back for me."

Sebastian gently wrapped his hand around Angeline's bicep, the touch soothing her as he looked at her sincerely. "I can assure you you're safe here, Angeline. You'd be with Ash right now if you were in danger of him."

She shook her head. "Sebastian, I can't," she said again, her voice breaking.

"I'll stay here, if you wish."

Angeline hesitated, a light pink dusting her cheeks and the bridge of her nose. "I... suppose that would help me sleep better..."

"Very well," Sebastian replied, returning to his abandoned seat. He listened to her breathing for half an hour, knowing she was asleep when it steadied and slowed to a consistent pace. When the sky began to turn grey with the first light of morning, he quietly stood from his seat and started for the door, passing by Angeline before he left to start his duties for the day. He brushed a stray lock of hair from her face, revealing her peaceful expression.

An overwhelming protective feeling washed over him as he realized she should look like that when she was awake, not just in her sleep. Because of Ash's sick wishes he had an innocent girl living in constant fear. He shook his head. She's only a simple human, he insisted, trying to convince himself he was acting on Ciel's orders.

2013 Wilma: ...Fluff already? ...Fuck. I like fluff too much.

2022 Wilma: ...Where? Do you even know what fluff is? Trust me, we read WAY more romance novels now and this is nothing. And I even added a little more between Angeline and Sebastian to spice it up.

5: Five

Narrator: It was at this moment she realized her main character is void of any personality.

2022 Wilma: Yeah, it makes editing a story you've been working on for 10 years pretty disheartening.

2014 Wilma: Angeline has personality!

2022 Wilma: Being soft and likeable and liking books aren't personality traits.

While Angeline enjoyed the fashion of her time, she often found it extremely difficult to dress. It was made more difficult by the lack of staff at the Phantomhive manor- Finny and Bard couldn't tighten a corset if their lives depended on it, and for some reason Angeline couldn't fathom, Mey-Rin seemed unwilling to help her.

She was struggling to lace her corset by herself when there was a knock at the door. "Just a moment," She said, her neck craned in an attempt to see the task she was trying to complete.

Sebastian's voice penetrated the door. "Is everything alright? It's quite late in the morning," He said.

"Fine," Angeline answered, biting her bottom lip as she continued trying to tie the strings together. "Just tired. It seems you've forgotten the exciting night we all had."

"Is there anything I can assist you with?" He asked from the other side of the door.

Angeline huffed with frustration. Her family had servants who were women to help her and her sister with their clothing, but it appeared that Angeline would have to ask Sebastian to help her and get used to being around a man in her state of undress. "Do you know how to tighten a corset?"

"Of course," He said, as if it were obvious, as if the idea that there was something he couldn't do was ridiculous. Sebastian let himself into the room and Angeline's skin went hot from head to foot. She thought it was impossible to feel more vulnerable in her life than she had since the earthquake, but she hadn't considered the notion of a man seeing her before she was fully dressed.

"Are you alright?" Sebastian asked for the second time. "You look flushed."

"Fine," She said again, but her face heated further as she did so and she had no doubt he noticed. He looked at her, contemplative, then shrugged.

Eager to be done with the situation, Angeline turned away from him. She could hear his footsteps approaching her and the room was quiet as he assessed the ties on her corset. "You only have it laced halfway, how long did that take you on your own?"

"Too long," Angeline admitted. "I'm sure there are plenty of women who are capable of lacing their own clothes, but I wasn't taught much about taking care of myself, if you remember."

"I remember," Sebastian said. She could feel the fabric shift as he adjusted the ties, fixing her sloppy work. "The first step of your independent life was picking out eggplants, the second is learning to tie your own corsets."

Angeline cracked a smile. "Perhaps you can teach me that, too. Sebastian, master teacher of eggplants, corsets, and chess," The last word of Angeline's sentence came out breathy as Sebastian finished lacing the corset and tugged slightly.

"One more big pull," Sebastian said and Angeline braced herself as the clothing tightened around her.

"One moment," Angeline said when he let go as she went to the armorium, pulling out one of the dresses she bought with Lizzie. "This one has ribbon in the back, if I can ask your help with one more thing."

"You can ask me for help with whatever your heart desires," He joked, "And I will make it happen. I am, after all, one Hell of a butler."

The lighthearted air between them dampened as he said this and Angeline remembered that the Phantomhive butler was most certainly not human. She forced a smile onto her face, saying "Be careful what you say, Sebastian, I have lost many important things. I won't go against God's will through Ash's cleanse, but there are some people I'd go against His will to bring back."

Once she had the dress on, she turned away from him once again and he helped her lace the ribbon. "I can do most anything," He corrected himself, "But not that."

Angeline's face flushed as Sebastian's deft fingers swiftly tied the ribbon and he rested his touch on the back of her neck for only a moment before he stepped back, indicating that he was finished. "Thank you." She said, moving her hair to cover her back once more, ignoring the way her body came to life where he had touched her neck, the shiver running through her whole body.

"Of course." Sebastian replied, bending at the waist.

"You don't have to bow for me, Sebastian. You work for Ciel," Angeline said.

Sebastian blinked at her, surprised. It wasn't often that guests at the manor treated him as more than the help. "If you insist," He said. "Ciel wants to see you in his study."

"Perfect," She said. "My favorite part of this new living situation is getting told what to do by a boy."

"He is a young boy with adult responsibilities, unfortunately," Sebastian agreed. "But if it makes a difference, he is acting on orders from the Queen."

"I suppose it does help to think of it that way," Angeline mused. "Thank you, Sebastian. I'm sure you were busy with much more important things, I'll let you get back to it."

Sebastian caught himself from bowing, choosing instead to give her a nod before exiting the room.

Angeline went to Ciel's study, knocking on the door. His voice sounded from inside, indicating her to enter, and she opened the door and slipped inside, closing it behind her.

"Good morning, Ciel," Angeline said, beginning to make her way further into the large room.

Ciel looked up at her from the documents on his desk. "I think it would be best for you to stay inside," He said, forgoing a greeting.

Angeline stopped in her tracks. "What?"

"I don't want Ash abducting while you're out, so I think you should stay in the manor where Sebastian and I can look after you," Ciel insisted.

"I'm not a child," Angeline argued indignantly.

"Of course not," Ciel said. "And of course I have no authority to tell you what to do. You may leave any time you please, though the Queen would be very unhappy with me. I only suggest this because it is likely the most effective way to keep you safe."

Angeline's first instinct was to argue, but she knew he was right. She was helpless on her own. If she left, where would she go?

"Fine," She huffed.

"Then it's settled. You'll remain on the estate. If there is ever a time you must leave, take Sebastian with you as an escort."

Despite knowing the precaution was necessary, she rolled her eyes. "Alright."

Angeline found that the Phantomhive manor housed a library and busied herself by reading for hours.

As the sun dipped below the horizon, Angeline closed her book and started down the hall to prepare for bed. She looked out a window and saw Ash hovering a few feet away from the glass, a dangerous glint in his eyes. Her heart crashed through her insides, dread filling her body from head to toe.

Before she could think, she screamed for Sebastian, his name escaping her lips before the panic bubbling in her stomach could make its way into her throat and prevent her from calling for help.

"Angeline," Ash mumbled. "It's time to go."

Angeline couldn't move. She was too scared.

Her eyes flew open as she shot upward, her breathing erratic and heavy, and a dull "thunk" sounded beside her. Her head whipped around, taking in her surroundings. Indeed, she was in the library, but Ash was nowhere to be found. She looked at the floor where the book she'd been reading fell from her lap upon waking.

Her gaze focused on Sebastian, who was crouched next to her where she had fallen asleep on a chaise, his hand on her shoulder where it had shaken her awake. His brows were knitted in concern as he looked at her. "You called for help, are you alright?"

She gulped as she tried to steady her breathing, her hand clutching the fabric of her dress near her wildly beating heart. "Bad dream," She choked out.

She rubbed at her temple with her free hand as she tried to put her panicked thoughts in order. Her throat burned and closed up as tears welled in her eyes. She felt like she was always crying lately.

"It's alright," Sebastian said, his thumb sweeping across her shoulder comfortingly.

A small sob broke out of her, the tears breaking free and running down her face. Sleep gave her no solace from the loss of her family or the fear that Ash would come back and her days were never ending, fear lingering inside her even in the safety of the manor. How was it that even when she awoke, she was still in a nightmare?

After Angeline calmed herself, she insisted that Sebastian be on his way. "I know you must have other priorities," She insisted.

She always does this, Sebastian thought. This would not be the first time Angeline sent him away because she felt she was keeping him from his duties.

"Are you sure you're alright?" He asked. Angeline nodded firmly and watched as Sebastian contemplated a moment before nodding and exiting the room.

Angeline watched him leave and took a few minutes to gather herself. She was grateful to have so much time alone in the manor so that her thoughts might roam free without the burden of keeping up with socializing.

When she decided her thoughts were orderly enough, she stood and picked up her book where it had fallen, putting it on a table to continue tomorrow.

She leisurely made her way down the corridor that passed Ciel's study and branched to her sleeping quarters, stifling a yawn. As she passed the study, she heard Ciel and Sebastian's hushed voices. She would have continued on her way and left them to their conversation had she not heard Ciel say her name.

She stopped short. She could hear her mother's voice in her head discouraging her from eavesdropping and gossip, but she couldn't help her curiosity. She leaned into the door, which was left ajar, so she could hear better.

"I've been losing sleep," Ciel admitted. "Waking at every sound worried it might be Ash. If I lose the girl, the Queen will have my head."

"I don't believe she would go to those lengths," Sebastian mused.

"Figuratively, Sebastian," Ciel sighed. He paused, then continued with an order. "I have decided to make Angeline your priority. Watching after her comes first, she's not to leave your sight. Take care of the rest of your duties where you can. The others will fill in the gaps, which I'm sure will cause a chaotic household, but we'll manage."

"Yes, master."

Angeline's heart jumped into her throat. While Sebastian was always there for her to call, she didn't see much of him because his duties kept him so busy. The only time she knew she would see him was for their chess games after Ciel retired, when she would seek Sebastian out (or call him when he was particularly hard to find in the expansive mansion) and ask if he wanted to play. He always said yes. Why was her heart racing so quickly at the thought of being escorted everywhere with him?

"Maybe I'll finally get a full night's rest," Ciel mused. "Knowing your demon abilities, I'm sure you're better suited to keep her safe than anyone else in this house."

Angeline stifled a gasp, her eyes widening and shoulders leaden as she heard the new information. She knew Sebastian wasn't human, but... a demon?

Angeline grew up in the church as most people did. She grew up believing angels were on the side of God and demons were to be feared, but Ash tormented her. Sebastian helped her, protected her. Sebastian was kind to her.

Her thoughts had never been so muddled. Ciel and Sebastian's conversation grew warbled in her ears as they began roaring. She enjoyed the little time she had with Sebastian- was that a sin? It was, she was certain. When she passed, would she be sent to Hell for rejecting an angel and keeping a demon as a companion? Surely it wasn't God's will for Angeline to support the murders that Ash desired to commit, but it was certainly against his will to involve herself with Sebastian instead.

Then, there was the matter of the way she felt when she was around Sebastian. She felt safe with him, comforted. She didn't see how she could be at fault, surely anyone would feel that way when they had been protected as Sebastian protected her. But she couldn't deny how her body reacted to his touch when he woke her from her nightmares- or this morning, when his fingertips on her neck made her body sing.

You can't be thinking like this, Angeline scolded herself. You must repent for these thoughts, the sins you've committed.

Yes, she decided. She did not knowingly commit her sins- surely God could forgive her.

As quietly as she could, she shuffled down the corridor. There was no helping the sound the heavy front door made when she opened it, but she could stay in this house no longer, even if it meant going against Ciel's wishes for her to stay inside.

Angeline shivered at the chill of the October evening as she stepped outside, wrapping her arms around herself as she left he estate.

The wind howled, strands of her hair loosening from her braided hairstyle and whipping around her face. The sun had gone down, leaving London in a dusky glow. Leaves fell around Angeline as she hastened down the roads and through the streets.

It felt as though she had walked for hours when she came upon the church. Angeline quickly ascended the front steps and opened the heavy door, slipping inside.

#black butler fanfiction

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finneganmikkelsen9 · 2 years

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nevermindirah · 3 years

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Dorothy Freeman facts

By facts I of course mean headcanons, because Nile's mom doesn't get a first name in canon (or even confirmation that her last name is Freeman). All we know about her is the picture on Nile's phone lock screen (which is Kiki Layne's real-life mom and brother!) and a few lines that Nile tells Andy about her. I’ve been collecting my Dorothy headcanons for a while now to eventually make a post, and @mprosperossprite‘s excellent post giving non-Americans context for what it means that Nile is from the South Side of Chicago prompted me to go ahead and share this. Disclaimer that I’m white and I will absolutely make corrections if it’s pointed out that I’ve caused harm with any of this.

So here have some fun facts about the version of Mama Freeman who lives in my head rent-free:

Her family and growing up:

she was born in the mid-'60s and named after Dorothy Dandridge

I can’t decide whether she was born in Chicago or moved there later on (maybe with Nile’s dad?) and when in the waves of the Great Migration her family left the South

she came of age in the "post"-Civil Rights movement and went to college in the mid-80s when a lot of what are now the foundational classics of Black feminism were being written

she was a young adult when Anita Hill risked so much to report that a Supreme Court nominee had sexually harassed her, and as a result she HATES Joe Biden

Marriage and babies:

she met Nile's father — I can’t decide how they met and I have two competing headcanons for his name, either Gideon for the hefty Biblical masculinity vibes (Giddy for short among family, that man loved to laugh) or Carl, which started out as a shitty Carl’s Jr burger chain joke that turns out to be perfect (it means free man!), and @knoepfchen used it in the sequel to if you do take a thief where Carl is alive!! — and Dorothy was a little skeptical of his near-religious devotion to the military but he was really hot and really devoted to her and they made it work

she's a little pissed that she was right but it's unbearable if she thinks about it too often

it's going to be a long, long time before she can look back on pictures of Baby Nile stomping around the house in her dad's combat boots (this is a Gina Prince Bythewood headcanon, whyyyyyyyy can I not find a link to where she said this)

she named their second baby Indus, Indy for short (this is nearly as established fanon in Book of Nile circles as how much Booker loves eating pussy, and Indy Freeman as a young adult is portrayed by either Aldis Hodge or John Boyega I don’t make the rules)

Work:

Dorothy did some office jobs but nothing really grabbed her, and she was probably gonna have to move for her husband's career, so she decided on teaching — high school humanities

she’s been active in CTU (one of the strongest teacher’s unions in the US) her whole career and one year she was on the bargaining committee and her babies know damn well never to trust a boss, not even one who says all the right things — if she ever finds out the way Nile said "like Quynh?" when Andy promised to protect her, she will lose her mind with pride

(Nile was 18 and freshly graduated from high school in 2012 when CTU went on strike for the first time in a generation and she brought her mom snacks on the picket line)

one of her very favorite things is getting her students to laugh despite themselves at her "oh my GOD you're so EMBARRASSING" old-people jokes

she's one of those teachers who can get 30+ teenagers to go dead silent with judicious application of body language

she's known to occasionally go easy on grading subjective things like essays when she knows students are having a particularly rough time at home, but the second she gets the feeling they're taking advantage and not trying their best that shit is over and they better mind their Ps & Qs

she's the kind of person who says old-people shit like that

she gives her students assignments like "help 5 neighbors register to vote" and "write a compare/contrast table about the candidates in this local election" and "research 5 different ways you could get grant money to do X" and other practical civic-minded shit

standardized testing is her supervillain origin story, just kidding it’s Rahm Emanuel, why the fuck did Obama trust that asshole

After her husband died:

she would have lost her goddamn mind if it weren't for her church friends after her husband died, people from the church raised money so they could make ends meet while his pension paperwork was taking forever, church friends watched Indy so Nile could go out for the soccer team, etc etc

she sold her and her late husband's house and moved to a 3-bedroom co-op unit when Nile started high school, it's more affordable and it meant she didn't have to worry about household repairs in the same way, she can use a wrench if she needs to but she doesn't have time and it just makes her grief flare up (co-op housing has a long history in Chicago and other US cities (like Washington DC where I live) as a way for Black people to access decent, affordable housing in the face of entrenched discrimination)

the move meant putting a longer commute between her and church, but she didn't even bother looking for a church closer to their new home, she loaded the kids into the car on the weekends, parking is hell in their new neighborhood but it's worth giving up a hard-won parking spot to not have to wait so long for the L on Sunday mornings

Indy lived with her through college and he was gearing up to get his own place when Nile died, Dorothy was planning to move into a one-bedroom in the co-op building because she doesn't need so much space anymore, Indy took a day off from his new job (not so new anymore, her baby's so grown!) to help her sort things to donate when those dress-uniform Marines came to their door

part of her wishes she could've been home more and not had to rely on Nile so much for help with Indy, but he's turned out such a kind young man, and he's a much better cook than his sister is (was, oh God — no wait, is! she’s alive! what do you mean you’ve been alive all this time??)

some of the girls from church are encouraging her to check out this social dancing thing, nobody's pressuring her to date but there's definitely been some ribbing, and with Indy out of the house... maybe? probably not, but maybe

Her feelings and beliefs and likes and dislikes:

she's an absolute badass and also she's a soft human woman with lots of feelings

she's very, very traditional in some ways, and part of her mixed feelings about Nile following in her dad's footsteps is gender stuff, she's proud of her daughter and would never stand in the way of what Nile wants to do with her life, and if Nile came home and told her she's a lesbian she would never reject her, but if Nile came home and told her she's bisexual maybe she can just try focusing on men? “I love you sweetheart and I want you to be happy I just know how hard it is already for us in this world” type shit

she has been on team natural hair basically her entire life and one of the worst fights she and Nile ever had was over Nile wanting to straighten her hair as a pre-teen

Indy takes more after her and Nile takes more after their dad, she's so proud of both of them, but Dorothy's activism was mostly wearing her natural hair to work and daring bosses to give her shit, Indy's out there marching in the streets like her parents had and she WORRIES

she teases Indy for going to so many protests like he's using it as an excuse to meet girls, but she WORRIES

when she turns 60, she gets box braids with streaks of dark purple, subtle enough that it's still work-appropriate but it makes her smile, she may be old now but damnit she’s still pretty!

she loves Grey's Anatomy and Star Trek and she watched Bridgerton all in one day

she has a dirty-old-lady celebrity crush on Chris Hemsworth

if she's ever masturbated thinking about Donna Summer, well, that's nobody's business but her own (do non-Americans know about the queen of disco??)

If you want to read fic featuring Dorothy:

I won't have to leave alone, 1000 words, Nile has a nightmare and decides to go tell her family she's immortal

I See Your Eyes Seek a Distant Shore, 65k, Nile adjusts to immortality and does a lot of soul searching about what it means to "do what we think is right", Booker goes to grad school for trauma studies, the working title of this fic was Booker Reads Edward Said and Gloria Anzaldúa and Goes Down on Nile and the final product has an annotated bibliography in the author's notes if you’re into that kind of thing, a lot of my Dorothy Freeman headcanons were born of my process writing this

Gather round the table, we'll give you a treat, 2279 words, college AU, Nile brings her Jewish boyfriend home for Christmas

a contribution I made to Shitty Old Guard Deaths: (Booker, USA, 2025, cause of death: a mother’s righteous wrath)

#nile freeman #nile's family #dorothy freeman #tog headcanons #tog meta #mine #long post

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chrisevansluv · 3 years

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Here is the 2012 Detail Magazine interview with chris evans:

The Avengers' Chris Evans: Just Your Average Beer-Swilling, Babe-Loving Buddhist

The 30-year-old Bud Light-chugging, Beantown-bred star of The Avengers is widely perceived as the ultimate guy's guy. But beneath the bro persona lies a serious student of Buddhism, an unrepentant song-and-dance man, and a guy who talks to his mom about sex. And farts.

By Adam Sachs,

Photographs by Norman Jean Roy

May 2012 Issue

"Should we just kill him and bury his body?" Chris Evans is stage whispering into the impassive blinking light of my digital recorder.

"Chris!" shouts his mother, her tone a familiar-to-anyone-with-a-mother mix of coddling and concern. "Don't say that! What if something happened?"

We're at Evans' apartment, an expansive but not overly tricked-out bachelor-pad-ish loft in a semi-industrial nowheresville part of Boston, hard by Chinatown, near an area sometimes called the Combat Zone. Evans has a fuzzy, floppy, slept-in-his-clothes aspect that'd be nearly unrecognizable if you knew him only by the upright, spit-polished bearing of the onscreen hero. His dog, East, a sweet and slobbery American bulldog, is spread out on a couch in front of the TV. The shelves of his fridge are neatly stacked with much of the world's supply of Bud Light in cans and little else.

On the counter sit a few buckets of muscle-making whey-protein powder that belong to Evans' roommate, Zach Jarvis, an old pal who sometimes tags along on set as a paid "assistant" and a personal trainer who bulked Evans up for his role as the super-ripped patriot in last summer's blockbuster Captain America: The First Avenger. A giant clock on the exposed-brick wall says it's early evening, but Evans operates on his own sense of time. Between gigs, his schedule's all his, which usually translates into long stretches of alone time during the day and longer social nights for the 30-year-old.

"I could just make this . . . disappear," says Josh Peck, another old pal and occasional on-set assistant, in a deadpan mumble, poking at the voice recorder I'd left on the table while I was in the bathroom.

Evans' mom, Lisa, now speaks directly into the microphone: "Don't listen to them—I'm trying to get them not to say these things!"

But not saying things isn't in the Evans DNA. They're an infectiously gregarious clan. Irish-Italians, proud Bostoners, close-knit, and innately theatrical. "We all act, we sing," Evans says. "It was like the fucking von Trapps." Mom was a dancer and now runs a children's theater. First-born Carly directed the family puppet shows and studied theater at NYU. Younger brother Scott has parts on One Life to Live and Law & Order under his belt and lives in Los Angeles full-time—something Evans stopped doing several years back. Rounding out the circle are baby sister Shanna and a pair of "strays" the family brought into their Sudbury, Massachusetts, home: Josh, who went from mowing the lawn to moving in when his folks relocated during his senior year in high school; and Demery, who was Evans' roommate until recently.

"Our house was like a hotel," Evans says. "It was a loony-tunes household. If you got arrested in high school, everyone knew: 'Call Mrs. Evans, she'll bail you out.'"

Growing up, they had a special floor put in the basement where all the kids practiced tap-dancing. The party-ready rec room also had a Ping-Pong table and a separate entrance. This was the house kids in the neighborhood wanted to hang at, and this was the kind of family you wanted to be adopted by. Spend an afternoon listening to them dish old dirt and talk over each other and it's easy to see why. Now they're worried they've said too much, laid bare the tender soul of the actor behind the star-spangled superhero outfit, so there's talk of offing the interviewer. I can hear all this from the bathroom, which, of course, is the point of a good stage whisper.

To be sure, no one's said too much, and the more you're brought into the embrace of this boisterous, funny, shit-slinging, demonstrably loving extended family, the more likable and enviable the whole dynamic is.

Sample exchange from today's lunch of baked ziti at a family-style Italian restaurant:

Mom: When he was a kid, he asked me, 'Mom, will I ever think farting isn't funny?'

Chris: You're throwing me under the bus, Ma! Thank you.

Mom: Well, if a dog farts you still find it funny.

Then, back at the apartment, where Mrs. Evans tries to give me good-natured dirt on her son without freaking him out:

Mom: You always tell me when you think a girl is attractive. You'll call me up so excited. Is that okay to say?

Chris: Nothing wrong with that.

Mom: And can I say all the girls you've brought to the house have been very sweet and wonderful? Of course, those are the ones that make it to the house. It's been a long time, hasn't it?

Chris: Looooong time.

Mom: The last one at our house? Was it six years ago?

Chris: No names, Ma!

Mom: But she knocked it out of the park.

Chris: She got drunk and puked at Auntie Pam's house! And she puked on the way home and she puked at our place.

Mom: And that's when I fell in love with her. Because she was real.

We're operating under a no-names rule, so I'm not asking if it's Jessica Biel who made this memorable first impression. She and Evans were serious for a couple of years. But I don't want to picture lovely Jessica Biel getting sick at Auntie Pam's or in the car or, really, anywhere.

East the bulldog ambles over to the table, begging for food.

"That dog is the love of his life," Mrs. Evans says. "Which tells me he'll be an unbelievable parent, but I don't want him to get married right now." She turns to Chris. "The way you are, I just don't think you're ready."

Some other things I learn about Evans from his mom: He hates going to the gym; he was so wound-up as a kid she'd let him stand during dinner, his legs shaking like caged greyhounds; he suffered weekly "Sunday-night meltdowns" over schoolwork and the angst of the sensitive middle-schooler; after she and his father split and he was making money from acting, he bought her the Sudbury family homestead rather than let her leave it.

Eventually his mom and Josh depart, and Evans and I go to work depleting his stash of Bud Light. It feels like we drink Bud Light and talk for days, because we basically do. I arrived early Friday evening; it's Saturday night now and it'll be sunup Sunday before I sleeplessly make my way to catch a train back to New York City. Somewhere in between we slip free of the gravitational pull of the bachelor pad and there's bottle service at a club and a long walk with entourage in tow back to Evans' apartment, where there is some earnest-yet-surreal group singing, piano playing, and chitchat. Evans is fun to talk to, partly because he's an open, self-mocking guy with an explosive laugh and no apparent need to sleep, and partly because when you cut just below the surface, it's clear he's not quite the dude's dude he sometimes plays onscreen and in TV appearances.

From a distance, Chris Evans the movie star seems a predictable, nearly inevitable piece of successful Hollywood packaging come to market. There's his major-release debut as the dorkily unaware jock Jake in the guilty pleasure Not Another Teen Movie (in one memorable scene, Evans has whipped cream on his chest and a banana up his ass). The female-friendly hunk appeal—his character in The Nanny Diaries is named simply Harvard Hottie—is balanced by a kind of casual-Friday, I'm-from-Boston regular-dudeness. Following the siren song of comic-book cash, he was the Human Torch in two Fantastic Four films. As with scrawny Steve Rogers, the Captain America suit beefed up his stature as a formidable screen presence, a bankable leading man, all of which leads us to The Avengers, this season's megabudget, megawatt ensemble in which he stars alongside Scarlett Johansson, Mark Ruffalo, Robert Downey Jr., and Chris Hemsworth.

It all feels inevitable—and yet it nearly didn't happen. Evans repeatedly turned down the Captain America role, fearing he'd be locked into what was originally a nine-picture deal. He was shooting Puncture, about a drug-addicted lawyer, at the time. Most actors doing small-budget legal dramas would jump at the chance to play the lead in a Marvel franchise, but Evans saw a decade of his life flash before his eyes.

What he remembers thinking is this: "What if the movie comes out and it's a success and I just reject all of this? What if I want to move to the fucking woods?"

By "the woods," he doesn't mean a quiet life away from the spotlight, some general metaphorical life escape route. He means the actual woods. "For a long time all I wanted for Christmas were books about outdoor survival," he says. "I was convinced that I was going to move to the woods. I camped a lot, I took classes. At 18, I told myself if I don't live in the woods by the time I'm 25, I have failed."

Evans has described his hesitation at signing on for Captain America. Usually he talks about the time commitment, the loss of what remained of his relative anonymity. On the junkets for the movie, he was open about needing therapy after the studio reduced the deal to six movies and he took the leap. What he doesn't usually mention is that he was racked with anxiety before the job came up.

"I get very nervous," Evans explains. "I shit the bed if I have to present something on stage or if I'm doing press. Because it's just you." He's been known to walk out of press conferences, to freeze up and go silent during the kind of relaxed-yet-high-stakes meetings an actor of his stature is expected to attend: "Do you know how badly I audition? Fifty percent of the time I have to walk out of the room. I'm naturally very pale, so I turn red and sweat. And I have to literally walk out. Sometimes mid-audition. You start having these conversations in your brain. 'Chris, don't do this. Chris, take it easy. You're just sitting in a room with a person saying some words, this isn't life. And you're letting this affect you? Shame on you.'"

Shades of "Sunday-night meltdowns." Luckily the nerves never follow him to the set. "You do your neuroses beforehand, so when they yell 'Action' you can be present," he says.

Okay, there was one on-set panic attack—while Evans was shooting Puncture. "We were getting ready to do a court scene in front of a bunch of people, and I don't know what happened," he says. "It's just your brain playing games with you. 'Hey, you know how we sometimes freak out? What if we did it right now?'"

One of the people who advised Evans to take the Captain America role was his eventual Avengers costar Robert Downey Jr. "I'd seen him around," Downey says. "We share an agent. I like to spend a lot of my free time talking to my agent about his other clients—I just had a feeling about him."

What he told Evans was: This puppy is going to be big, and when it is you're going to get to make the movies you want to make. "In the marathon obstacle course of a career," Downey says, "it's just good to have all the stats on paper for why you're not only a team player but also why it makes sense to support you in the projects you want to do—because you've made so much damned money for the studio."

There's also the fact that Evans had a chance to sign on for something likely to be a kind of watershed moment in the comic-book fascination of our time. "I do think The Avengers is the crescendo of this superhero phase in entertainment—except of course for Iron Man 3," Downey says. "It'll take a lot of innovation to keep it alive after this."

Captain America is the only person left who was truly close to Howard Stark, father of Tony Stark (a.k.a. Iron Man), which meant that Evans' and Downey's story lines are closely linked, and in the course of doing a lot of scenes together, they got to be pals. Downey diagnoses his friend with what he terms "low-grade red-carpet anxiety disorder."

"He just hates the game-show aspect of doing PR," Downey says. "Obviously there's pressure for anyone in this transition he's in. But he will easily triple that pressure to make sure he's not being lazy. That's why I respect the guy. I wouldn't necessarily want to be in his skin. But his motives are pure. He just needs to drink some red-carpet chamomile."

"The majority of the world is empty space," Chris Evans says, watching me as if my brain might explode on hearing this news—or like he might have to fight me if I try to contradict him. We're back at his apartment after a cigarette run through the Combat Zone.

"Empty space!" he says again, slapping the table and sort of yelling. Then, in a slow, breathy whisper, he repeats: "Empty space, empty space. All that we see in the world, the life, the animals, plants, people, it's all empty space. That's amazing!" He slaps the table again. "You want another beer? Gotta be Bud Light. Get dirty—you're in Boston. Okay, organize your thoughts. I gotta take a piss . . ."

My thoughts are this: That this guy who is hugging his dog and talking to me about space and mortality and the trouble with Boston girls who believe crazy gossip about him—this is not the guy I expected to meet. I figured he'd be a meatball. Though, truthfully, I'd never called anyone a meatball until Evans turned me on to the put-down. As in: "My sister Shanna dates meatballs." And, more to the point: "When I do interviews, I'd rather just be the beer-drinking dude from Boston and not get into the complex shit, because I don't want every meatball saying, 'So hey, whaddyathink about Buddhism?'"

At 17, Evans came across a copy of Hermann Hesse's Siddhartha and began his spiritual questing. It's a path of study and struggle that, he says, defines his true purpose in life. "I love acting. It's my playground, it lets me explore. But my happiness in this world, my level of peace, is never going to be dictated by acting," he says. "My goal in life is to detach from the egoic mind. Do you know anything about Eastern philosophy?"

I sip some Bud Light and shake my head sheepishly. "They talk about the egoic mind, the part of you that's self-aware, the watcher, the person you think is driving this machine," he says. "And that separation from self and mind is the root of suffering. There are ways of retraining the way you think. This isn't really supported in Western society, which is focused on 'Go get it, earn it, win it, marry it.'"

Scarlett Johansson says that one of the things she appreciates about Evans is how he steers clear of industry chat when they see each other. "Basically every actor," she says, "including myself, when we finish a job we're like, 'Well, that's it for me. Had a good run. Put me out to pasture.' But Chris doesn't strike me as someone who frets about the next job." The two met on the set of The Perfect Score when they were teenagers and have stayed close; The Avengers is their third movie together. "He has this obviously masculine presence—a dude's dude—and we're used to seeing him play heroic characters," Johansson says, "but he's also surprisingly sensitive. He has close female friends, and you can talk to him about anything. Plus there's that secret song-and-dance, jazz-hands side of Chris. I feel like he grew up with the Partridge Family. He'd be just as happy doing Guys and Dolls as he would Captain America 2."

East needs to do his business, so Evans and I take him up to the roof deck. Evans bought this apartment in 2010 when living in L.A. full-time no longer appealed to him. He came back to stay close to his extended family and the intimate circle of Boston pals he's maintained since high school. The move also seems like a pretty clear keep-it-real hedge against the manic ego-stroking distractions of Hollywood.

"I think my daytime person is different than my nighttime person," Evans says. "With my high-school buddies, we drink beer and talk sports and it's great. The kids in my Buddhism class in L.A., they're wildly intelligent, and I love being around them, but they're not talking about the Celtics. And that's part of me. It's a strange dichotomy. I don't mind being a certain way with some people and having this other piece of me that's just for me."

I asked Downey about Evans' outward regular-Joe persona. "It's complete horseshit," Downey says. "There's an inherent street-smart intelligence there. I don't think he tries to hide it. But he's much more evolved and much more culturally aware than he lets on."

Perhaps the meatball and the meditation can coexist. We argue about our egoic brains and the tao of Boston girls. "I love wet hair and sweatpants," he says in their defense. "I like sneakers and ponytails. I like girls who aren't so la-di-da. L.A. is so la-di-da. I like Boston girls who shit on me. Not literally. Girls who give me a hard time, bust my chops a little."

The chief buster of Evans' chops is, of course, Evans himself. "The problem is, the brain I'm using to dissect this world is a brain formed by it," he says. "We're born into confusion, and we get the blessing of letting go of it." Then he adds: "I think this shit by day. And then night comes and it's like, 'Fuck it, let's drink.'"

And so we do. It's getting late. Again. We should have eaten dinner, but Evans sometimes forgets to eat: "If I could just take a pill to make me full forever, I wouldn't think twice."

We talk about his dog and camping with his dog and why he loves being alone more than almost anything except maybe not being alone. "I swear to God, if you saw me when I am by myself in the woods, I'm a lunatic," he says. "I sing, I dance. I do crazy shit."

Evans' unflagging, all-encompassing enthusiasm is impressive, itself a kind of social intelligence. "If you want to have a good conversation with him, don't talk about the fact that he's famous" was the advice I got from Mark Kassen, who codirected Puncture. "He's a blast, a guy who can hang. For quite a long time. Many hours in a row."

I've stopped looking at the clock. We've stopped talking philosophy and moved into more emotional territory. He asks questions about my 9-month-old son, and then Captain America gets teary when I talk about the wonder of his birth. "I weep at everything," he says. "I emote. I love things so much—I just never want to dilute that."

He talks about how close he feels to his family, how open they all are with each other. About everything. All the time. "The first time I had sex," he says, "I raced home and was like, 'Mom, I just had sex! Where's the clit?'"

Wait, I ask—did she ever tell you?

"Still don't know where it is, man," he says, then breaks into a smile composed of equal parts shit-eating grin and inner peace. "I just don't know. Make some movies, you don't have to know…"

Here is the 2012 Detail Magazine interview with chris evans:

The Avengers' Chris Evans: Just Your Average Beer-Swilling, Babe-Loving Buddhist

By Adam Sachs,

Photographs by Norman Jean Roy

May 2012 Issue

"Should we just kill him and bury his body?" Chris Evans is stage whispering into the impassive blinking light of my digital recorder.

"Chris!" shouts his mother, her tone a familiar-to-anyone-with-a-mother mix of coddling and concern. "Don't say that! What if something happened?"

Evans' mom, Lisa, now speaks directly into the microphone: "Don't listen to them—I'm trying to get them not to say these things!"

"Our house was like a hotel," Evans says. "It was a loony-tunes household. If you got arrested in high school, everyone knew: 'Call Mrs. Evans, she'll bail you out.'"

Sample exchange from today's lunch of baked ziti at a family-style Italian restaurant:

Mom: When he was a kid, he asked me, 'Mom, will I ever think farting isn't funny?'

Chris: You're throwing me under the bus, Ma! Thank you.

Mom: Well, if a dog farts you still find it funny.

Then, back at the apartment, where Mrs. Evans tries to give me good-natured dirt on her son without freaking him out:

Mom: You always tell me when you think a girl is attractive. You'll call me up so excited. Is that okay to say?

Chris: Nothing wrong with that.

Mom: And can I say all the girls you've brought to the house have been very sweet and wonderful? Of course, those are the ones that make it to the house. It's been a long time, hasn't it?

Chris: Looooong time.

Mom: The last one at our house? Was it six years ago?

Chris: No names, Ma!

Mom: But she knocked it out of the park.

Chris: She got drunk and puked at Auntie Pam's house! And she puked on the way home and she puked at our place.

Mom: And that's when I fell in love with her. Because she was real.

East the bulldog ambles over to the table, begging for food.

What he remembers thinking is this: "What if the movie comes out and it's a success and I just reject all of this? What if I want to move to the fucking woods?"

Shades of "Sunday-night meltdowns." Luckily the nerves never follow him to the set. "You do your neuroses beforehand, so when they yell 'Action' you can be present," he says.

And so we do. It's getting late. Again. We should have eaten dinner, but Evans sometimes forgets to eat: "If I could just take a pill to make me full forever, I wouldn't think twice."

Wait, I ask—did she ever tell you?

"Still don't know where it is, man," he says, then breaks into a smile composed of equal parts shit-eating grin and inner peace. "I just don't know. Make some movies, you don't have to know…"

If someone doesn't want to check the link, the anon sent the full interview!

#chris evans #cevans #Details Magazine #2012 #interview

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getitinbusan · 3 years

Text

10 years with Jungkook

California

You met Jeon Jeongguk in the summer of 2012. Two kids brought together by a calling to California and a chance at making it big. Best friends from the start, what happens when only one of you becomes successful? Do you ever forget your first love?

Childhood friends to lovers, angst and smut.

Words: 4600

Warnings: 18 plus smut. Oral F, Sex MF, Swearing. Pretty Mild for me. This is a previously posted fic that has been updated and reworked.

It was a rare rainy August day in California. The heavy drops created a sad melody on the window as you put the dishes away. Tired and lonely, the feeling in your gut kept nagging at you, maybe it was time to give up.

The savings account was drained, there were no jobs to be found and this was the second month of falling short on rent. Surely it would only be a matter of time before your roommates would stop exchanging house cleaning for money.

Hanging the threadbare towel over its hook you stood in the kitchen, your mood mirroring the dim light of the afternoon. Feeling frusterated and stupid, it had taken you way longer than it should have to realize that in LA, you were nothing. Not pretty enough, rich enough, skinny enough or talented enough to ever make it big. So this is how the great Califonia chapter of your life would end, not by choice but necessity.

Gathering up the mail that was strewn across the countertop, you shuffled through it sorting its priority. Junk mail, bills, personal…one in particular standing out. Your heart began pounding as you took in the details.

The penmanship was nice, black ink on an unassuming envelope. But it was the stamp that caught your attention. It was sent from Korea.

Flipping it in your hand you examined the torn top. The letter, having been read, was cradled back safely inside. Addressed to your roommate a frown crept onto your face. Why wouldn’t he write to you?

It was a ridiculously hopeful notion but you widened the envelope and inhaled trying to find a trace of his fragrance, something, anything to trigger a happy memory. Cool California nights were the best excuse. How many times had you borrowed his sweaters just to have his smell on you?

You missed him. It had been a year and a half and you couldn't help but once again ponder the nagging question that always crept back. If you hadn't forced him to break the rules would he still be a part of your life?

It was too tempting to resist, your fingers pinched the paper inside of the envelope and pulled it free.

I’m feeling low, I don’t know who I am, only who I’m supposed to be.

What would life be like if I had stayed in California? We could all be roommates, hanging out and having fun, going to the beach on weekends.

Does she even think about me?

It sounds greedy that with how much I have right now, it’s not enough. I would give anything to wake up in bed beside her everyday. I want more than anything to be able to talk to her about these things but I can’t. I’ve made the mistake of trading her for fame and now I’m destined to keep her at an arm’s length so she’ll never know the price I paid.

How does she even see me? As an Idol? As the boy who abandoned her? Has she forgotten the good days we spent together?

I’ve been wrestling with myself, whoever that is. I wish I could be the teenage boy from that long ago summer again. I wrote this song thinking about it…

~When I see you smile in the screen

You’re good at everything

You’re just perfect

Feels like I've never been you

Do you even see me?

Do you know who I am?

Or how do I look now?

You don’t like me like that

I want to be your decalcomania~

I’m afraid I may not get back for a while, please write. Your friendship and thoughts of her are the only things that are keeping me tethered to some semblance of reality.

Clutching the letter to your chest, your mind took you back to that day.

"Decalcomania, the art or process of transferring pictures and designs. Making a copy of the original on a different medium"

Reading the description on the wall you’d both stood laughing at the piece's strange name, Decalcomania. The gallery visit felt like lifetimes ago but you still remembered clearly. You remembered, not because the piece had struck you as particularly special but because that's where you had decided that Jeongguk's laugh was the best sound you'd ever heard.

California had lured you into its promise when you turned 14. Having been accepted to an intensive dance program at The Movement Lifestyle Studio you packed up and headed West for the summer.

It was July and it was hot, the dancers stepping off the bus one at a time took their places in the studio.

Looking around there were so many older kids, you were probably one of the youngest. Calling out names they put you into groups, it appeared to be by age so you made your way across the unfamiliar wooden floor to the tiny gathering of teens in the darkened corner.

Shy introductions were made as one more member was ushered over to where you had congregated. “This is Jeongguk.”

He had the cutest smile and barely spoke english but his eyes twinkled like the constellations. Immediately drawn to each other you became fast friends.

Absolutely exhausted by the end of the first few days he quietly knocked at your door.

He was homesick and lonely, used to being surrounded by his six members, he couldn’t sleep well without someone beside him. You let him crawl into bed with you, you were 14 and it was innocent.

Inseparable, days and nights were spent side by side, the others began referring to you as the twins. It was the best summer of your life but like every boy meets girl summer story, it had to come to a close. Promising through tears to keep in touch and stay friends you went your separate ways.

Jeongguk would send silly videos of his practice sessions, goofing around with the other members. He’d facetime and text but he always loved to send handwritten letters.

They lived in a box under your bed and contained stories of how hard he was working to become an idol. He always signed off with, "I miss you,” and a few lines of lyrics he’d written.

You didn’t know then how important they would become, the only tangible piece of him you could still hold on to.

Whenever he came back to America you did everything you could to see him. You always found a way to get to the small tour stops whenever they came through. 2015 was the first, then KCon in 2016, but 2017, it was different.

Facetiming you with the news that they were bringing the Wings tour to NY, Chicago and Anaheim, he asked if you’d be part of the dance crew. How could you turn down two weeks with Jungkook the hottest new K-pop Idol? They were getting bigger, more popular and their lives were changing rapidly.

He had strict rules, girls were completely off limits. No talking, no hugging, no smiling at one another, any little thing could be easily misconstrued by the fans. Everything had to be done in secret. Jungkook would sneak you into his hotel room where you would spend your nights together catching up. The boys would bring you in food and cover for him while you both stayed locked away out of sight.

While happy to be with him, you could tell there was an underlying sadness he was holding on to.

"I wish I could go and explore the city with you like we used to," his voice trailed off.

You were laying in each other’s arms cuddling on his bed. Leaning over he kissed the top of your head.

"All I really want is to take you on a proper date."

You snuggled closer into his side as he exhaled deeply, releasing his secret.

"I’ve been waiting so long to become someone, a man worthy of your affection. Now I’m stuck. I have everything I wanted and I’m not allowed to share it with you."

His arms gripped you tighter.

"I’m sorry, this is a terrible confession. I don’t expect you to love me back, not under these circumstances, I just need you to know, you’re the only girl I’ve ever loved and there won’t be anybody else, ever."

Every bit of his confession, every moment of that last night in the hotel room had stuck with you to this day. The words of a 19 year old boy whose life had become bigger than the feelings of two people.

He'd left in the morning without knowing. You were a coward, too afraid to tell him you loved him too.

LA became your home right after they left Anaheim. Focused on your dancing, if you became good enough, maybe you could join the tour with him.

A letter with a big bouquet of flowers arrived a few weeks later.

"Congratulations on your new house in LA!

I hope that all of you are getting along as roommates, it’s hard living with others sometimes.

Last night I dreamt that I was there with you and all of our friends. We were having a party on the beach and we sat together watching the sunset.

Do you remember after practice when we would skateboard as fast as we could to the ocean so we wouldn’t miss the colors?

Maybe one day my toes can feel the sand there again.

I miss you, I miss me… the me I am when I get to be with you.

We're coming back in October for a few days and I’m hoping I can see you, I’m lonely already.

Jeongguk

~Won’t you please stay in dreams

I can hear the sea from far away

Across the dream, over the bush

Go there where it becomes clear

Take my hands now

You are the cause of my euphoria

When I’m with you, I’m in utopia~

By the time The AMAs came, the plan had been finalized. You would steal Jungkook away so that you could take him on your first real date.

Having enlisted Namjoon to help, he was your inside man. The boys, happy to help finally get you together, would cover for his whereabouts with management. The day before the awards they were only scheduled for styling, as long as he wasn’t late for the press rounds the next afternoon your plan could work.

It was Namjoon’s job to get him out of the building. Telling him to follow his lead, Joon convinced the managers that Jungkook must have eaten something bad for lunch. Claiming to not feel well, he was whisked away to meet you at the hotel’s back receiving door.

Sitting in the shiny red rented convertible you tossed him a pair of sunglasses. What you wouldn’t give now to see that smile again.

Barely giving him time to get in you’d sped away heading straight for In And Out Burger.

"Kookie, I hope you’re ready for the best day of your life! We’re going to eat until we explode, drink and party at the beach and then, instead of returning you to your fancy 5 star hotel you’re staying the night in my crappy little house with a tiny uncomfortable bed!!"

He laughed, that perfect laugh. It was so pure and honest, thinking about it now made you sad. Was that the last moment he'd gotten to be his true self? Jeongguk the man not Jungkook the personna?

Knowing you only had one day to give him everything, one day to show him you loved him, you tried to make the best of it.

Picking up the food Jungkook held onto the red and white bags in the passenger seat, sneaking his hand in to steal fries when he thought you weren’t looking. If you weren’t sure you were in love with him before you you certainly were now.

Pulling up beside the tree on the beach he was stunned, "Ahhh Jagi, I can’t believe you brought me here."

Happy that it meant as much to him as it did to you, you both sat on the branch and ate. Two blocks from the old studio this used to be your escape. Every break you’d make your way to the tree for some time alone, together.

With the burgers done he turned to you and smiled. It felt like he wanted to say something, but stupidly, you'd cut him short leading him back towards the car.

Making your way through your checklist you brought him back to where you'd first met. The Movement studios students were starstruck when he walked in. After insisting that he teach some choreography, he reluctantly led the class.

Your eyes were glued to him as he moved in front of the mirrors, no longer that awkward teenager but a full grown man mesmerizing you with his every move.

Getting back to the car he stopped you before you reached for the handle. Putting his arms around you he pulled you in close. But again, you resisted him.

"You stink Jungkook, our next stop is the ocean."

You remember pulling away. How stupid you were, you should have held on to him longer. Reaching into the back seat you revealed a pair of swim shorts and a towel. He looked disappointed that you kept interrupting his attempts at intimacy. It broke your heart but you had a plan and limited time to execute it.

The Ocean was chilly but the wind was warm, he came out of the change room with the shorts on but still wearing his shirt.

"Kookie, this isn’t Korea, you don’t have to be so modest here. Plus, you should grab some sun, you may not believe it but when your skin is sunkissed," you grinned, "you look really sexy."

He raised his eyebrows and quickly removed the shirt at your request.

Running into the water you splashed and played and he took great pleasure in picking you up and throwing you as far as he could.

The sun was getting ready to set and you wanted to dry off before the cooler air set in.

Leading him back to the shore you both laid down on the towel. He put his arm around you and you cuddled into his side.

"My god Guk, look at your abs!"

He blushed like crazy as you traced the muscles on his stomach.

"Stop, it tickles," he giggled.

But you didn’t, you kept tickling him until he held you so tight you couldn’t move. He had you pinned, flipping you on your back he shook his wet hair flinging water droplets all over you. Pleased with himself he leaned in closer to you, his eyes asking for permission to kiss you. As the gap between you got narrower you could hear his name being shouted and footsteps running closer. He flopped onto his back and sighed as your roommates and friends piled on top of him.

Eating, drinking and catching up with everyone you watched each other from across the bonfire. Moving from person to person he slowly made his way back to your side.

"Welcome back." Running your hand through the back of his hair, it was now or never.

Pulling him closer your lips finally met in the way they were destined, soft, slow and full of love. His hands instinctively moved to cup your face as the world stopped around you.

"I love you," you whispered.

Nose to nose he smiled at you and it was the most beautiful thing you’d ever seen.

It didn’t last long, his phone started going off incessantly. The managers knew, you’d been careless, photos and videos of him from the studio had been posted online.

"I’m so sorry Jungkook, I didn’t mean for you to get in trouble."

His eyes turned hungry as he grabbed your hand.

"You promised I wouldn’t be going back to my hotel tonight, let’s get out of here."

If he was going to get in trouble anyway, why stop now?

The drive back to your place was quiet, adrenaline and hormones flowing like electricity through you both. The time for smiling was over as the seriousness of the situation lingered in the air between you.

It wasn’t just being in trouble or being caught, but the fact that you both knew what was going to happen when you stepped into your bedroom. One act that would change everything between you, it held the power to change the dynamic of your relationship forever.

Leading him to your room you closed the door and stood staring at him as he sat on your bed. He raked his fingers through his hair before he spoke.

"I’ve never wanted anything more in my life than to be able to make love to you. BUT I also know that when I leave I’m not going to get to see you again for a very long time." His head hung low. "Management is going to do everything possible to keep us apart and that won’t be fair to you. I think that maybe we should just let our happy memories of today be enough, I don’t want you to regret anything. "

Walking closer you stood between his legs and he wrapped his arms around your waist.

"The only thing I'll regret is never getting to experience all of you. I can’t live not knowing how it feels to be totally yours even if it's only for one night."

He rested his head against your chest, "You’ll always be mine."

His hands traveled to the hem of your shirt and his fingers ran over the soft skin of your stomach. Undoing the button of your jeans he slowly slid them down your legs and you stepped out of them.

Standing up he lifted the thin fabric of your shirt over your head and you stood before him waiting as he took his off too. Unclasping your bra he sighed as he looked at you taking in your shape, his fingertips hovering over your hard nipples.

"I’ve never done this before," he confessed.

"Me either," you whispered. "I've only ever wanted it to be you."

More relaxed he let his mouth start exploring your body. You were goosebumps and shivers beneath him as his tongue found it’s home between your legs.

He was soft and careful, placing his lips over your clit sucking it in delicately until your moans couldn’t be contained any longer. You could feel his eyes burning into you as he watched in awe as his finger slid inside you.

"It feels good Kookie, please…"

You could feel his mouth stopping to smile before he picked up speed. Moving your hips to eagerly meet his mouth you were unravelling quickly.

"The way you taste is better than anything I had imagined."

Devouring you in sessions between his words of adoration you came hard on his tongue.

"I'm really regretting running you all over town today when we could have just been here...doing that.. " You were out of breath.

"I was worried that I wouldn't be any good." He grinned at you pleased with himself.

Moving up to where your head lay on the pillow he pushed the dampened hair off your face, "Are you ok? Do you need anything?"

He placed his forehead against yours.

"I just want you. I need you to know I'm yours, forever.

Rolling a condom on he moved slowly to line himself up with your entrance.

"Tell me if you need me to stop okay?"

He pushed carefully, slowly stretching you around him. Watching intently for discomfort he froze when he saw the tears welling in your eyes.

"Shit, I’m so sorry, let’s stop, I didn’t mean to hurt you." He was apologetic as he thumbed away the tears.

"No," you delicately kissed his lips. "I’m okay… I’m just so happy, so overwhelmed with how much I’m feeling right now."

He smiled down at you, pressing his body closer he gave another push until he was fully inside. Your bodies fell into a beautifully choreographed rhythm until Jungkook was so lost in pleasure he began to move at his own pace. Quicker and deeper he moved until he finally spilled into the condom.

Laying together in euphoria you kissed, and kissed, and kissed until you finally found sleep while wrapped around one other.

Every few hours he’d wake you up. His hands running over your body checking to make sure you weren't just a dream. You’d made love each time, everytime better than the last.

It was 9 am when he caressed you awake once more.

"I have to leave soon. I don’t want to." He spoke in whispers nestled into your neck. "Please tell me to stay."

Your heart broke at his words. "If I ask you to stay, I’m selfish, you’ll always wonder if you made the right decision." The tears came, knowing you had to do what was right. "If I tell you to go, your dreams come true… ” your voice trailed off.

"And I’ll always wonder if I made the right decision,” he finished.

Your phone started ringing and you knew time was up.

It was Joon, "I’m outside. Sorry, I held them off as long as I could. I told them that I’d come get him so you could at least have time to say goodbye."

Your tears fell out in heavy ugly sobs, "Okay, five minutes… and Joon… thanks, I know you’re probably in trouble too."

Hanging up you turned back, Jungkook was already out of bed with his clothes thrown on. He stood with open arms bravely waiting.

"Thank you for yesterday I'll never forget it."

Laying your head against his chest you took a moment to listen to his heartbeat. You could hear him sniffle and knew he was crying too.

You flashed back remembering that night long ago when he came to you homesick, holding you so he could sleep while he tried to hide his tears. There was a knock at the door and Namjoon’s voice broke through the moment.

"We’ve got to go Jungkook."

Stepping away you’d left his shirt soaked in tears, handing him his sweater he pushed it back towards you. "You keep it."

He kissed you one last time before opening the door to reveal Namjoon's weary face. His Hyung put his arm around his shoulder and led him to the car.

Turning one last time he looked back, his eyes were filled with tears as he gave a small wave before getting in the back of the big black sedan.

For months you pretended that management was the only thing keeping you apart.

You held on to that silly notion until May when they were coming for the Billboard awards. For weeks leading up you waited for a message, a secret meeting arrangement, but you got nothing. His image was all over the TV and his voice echoed through your empty heart. Then, just like that, it was over and he was gone again.

Now, here you stood in your kitchen, his letter bringing him to the forefront of your mind and opening old wounds.

He was just as sad as you but what could you do?

Picking up a pen you began writing…

I shouldn’t have done it but I read it in your letter

You said to a friend that you wish you were doing better

I wanted to reach out but I never said a thing

You don’t ever have to be stronger than you really are

And honey, you don’t ever have to act cooler than you think you should

You’re brighter than the brightest stars

You’re scared to win, scared to lose

I’ve heard the war was over if you really choose

The one in and around you

You hate the heat, you got the blues

You’re changing like the weather, oh, that’s so like you

I’ll pick you up

I’ll catch you on the flipside

If you come back to California

We’ll do whatever you want, travel wherever, how far

We’ll hit up all the old places

We’ll have a party, we can dance till dawn…

Y/N

October came again and a chill was in the air, the smell of the ocean hit your nose and you stopped to take it in.

Bundled in Jungkook’s hoodie you threw your bag over your shoulder and began your walk to work. You'd gotten lucky, Movement had hired you just as you were about to give up and leave California. Filled with hope and excitement a new intensive program was scheduled to start today and you were going to meet the future superstars of the dance world.

Memories flooded your mind as you made your way through the familiar neighborhood. It still hurt, but things were beginning to feel happy again. Writing the letter had given you closure, he knew how you felt and beyond that there was nothing else you could do.

Opening the heavy door to the studio you caught a familiar reflection moving in the mirror. Chalk marker in hand he was writing something, It couldn’t be?

Hearing the door click back into place he turned to face you.

"Hi."

He walked towards you slowly. Unsure of what your reaction would be, he approached with caution.

"Hi."

You were breathless, in the months of not seeing him he’d only grown more handsome.

"I can’t change what happened… and for the rest of my life I’ll be sorry for all of the time we missed."

He was getting closer.

"But I can’t take another day not knowing if I can fix this… somehow…"

He reached for your hand but you pulled it away. His head fell in disappointment.

"Jungkook, I can’t listen to this… look at me."

Reaching for his chin you pulled his head up until he was facing you again.

"I refuse to listen to you apologize for something that is out of your control. Your life was decided before you met me and I am nothing but grateful that I got to appear in some part of your story."

He tilted his head and pressed a small kiss into the hand that was still holding his chin.

"God I’ve missed you." He wrapped his arms tightly around your waist.

"How long are you here? I’ve got to teach class.. It’s the first day but I’d love it if we could catch up?"

He laughed at you and your knees buckled at the sound of his happiness.

Taking his chance he pressed his lips to yours and you could feel the smile forming on his face.

"I’m your private lesson Jagi, I’ve booked you for the next two weeks."

Taking a step back you had to ask, "How Jungkook? What will you be giving up?"

Pulling you back to his embrace he began to dance with you.

"There is no more giving up, on anything. Our contracts were over and I only had one thing I wouldn’t negotiate on, that’s you."

He guided you to look at the mirror.

"I wrote you something."

~Please call my name one more time

I’m standing under the frozen light,

but I’ll walk step by step towards you

Still with you ~

"I promise I’ll never let you go again."

#jungkook #bts jungkook #jeon jungkook #Jeongguk #jungkook x reader #kookie #nochu #10 years with jungkook #california #lana del rey

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