#noetiromantic
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November Carnival of Aros Submission: Aplatonic vs. Loner
When I think of the term aplatonic, fear comes to mind. Do I really want to write about my feelings of being aplatonic (or more specifically grayplatonic in my case) in a book that my family, friends, or co-workers might read? The stigma of not having many friends is one that I fear. Once, someone asked me if I was a loner. The feeling of fear and not knowing what to say struck my heart. The idea of not having a lot of friends makes me feel like there’s something wrong with me, that I’m broken.
In WebMD’s article, What is a loner?, it begins by stating, “Being a loner means that you would prefer to be by yourself rather than with others. Depending on the context of the situation and your personality and preferences, this could be a good or bad thing.” The first section continues by stating, “Loners display varying degrees of wanting to or needing to be alone. There are positive, healthy reasons for being a loner, as well as negative, destructive reasons.” While I appreciate the positive attitude that addresses the healthy reasons for spending time alone, I feel like the stigma against those who are not attracted to spending time building friendships is still emphasized.
The creation of the aplatonic sprectrum as an identity is an attempt to step away from that stigma and accept that it is ok to not feel an attraction to the idea of being friends with someone. But can this spectrum ever breakaway from the stigma of being loners? Aspec people frequently write about the ability to form strong friendships and platonic partnerships as being just as important as romantic or sexual relations to allos. I have never identified strongly with these feelings. While I do have friends and make an effort to find friends when I move to new cities, I have rarely felt such a close bond with friends that I would liken it to being on the same level of importance as a romantic relationship.
In May 2022, I wrote my first submission for Carnival of Aros on being non-partnering. I reflected on the bullying that I experienced, and how it was related to the selective mutism. Because of this experience, and others, I wondered if my experiences with mental health did affect my feelings and desires. For me, being someone who has experienced selective mutism and never sought counseling on it, I feel that the times that are difficult to speak are not just fear based, but who I am. It makes me feel neurodivergent in a way that hasn’t been recognized. This inability to think of things to say beyond the basic conversations of getting to know someone and my career or academic pursuits, makes me seem boring. It’s hard for me to connect with many people or be attracted to maintaining a friendship. I really only maintain friendships with others who are willing to be my friend without judging me, who have common interests, and don’t mind that I’m not going to want to chat with them on the phone regularly. I’ve made friends through board game groups, work, Jewish social events, Chicago’s AVEN meetup, and Meetup.com groups that have events that interest me. I’m grateful for the supportive friends that I have made over the years. So, I don’t really identify with the term aplatonic, but do feel that grayplatonic or noetiplatonic could be an appropriate identity for myself.
Surprisingly, I wouldn’t consider myself non-partnering anymore. I never expected to meet anyone that I would want to date. Several months after writing about being non-partnering, I actually met someone who had a crush on me so much that he wanted to go on a date. After several dates, I realized he was so caring and accepting of my faults that I was willing to be in a romantic relationship with him. The mental connection that we had was similar to the one other time that I had a crush on someone, who didn’t want to date me, that I feel like the microlabels would be noetiromantic and recipromantic. After being in a relationship with him for nearly a year, I’ve definitely learned a lot about relationships with people that are alloromantic and allosexual, but I think I need to save some insights for the book…
#aplatonic#aplspec#grayplatonic#arospec#carnival of aros#aromanticism#noetiplatonic#noetiromantic#recipromantic#aspec#asexual#aromantic
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I’m gonna attempt to explain how my noetiromanticism feels, or whatever it is. a lot of times, when I like someone it’s like liking a walking personality. Idc about the looks, intelligence, etc. imagine instead of people, they were just walking personalities that I’m always in love with.
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Being a noetiromantic writer and godspouse is both the best and the worst.
On one hand you have so many wonderful people to love, and can have such an intimate connection with them.
On the other hand, not being interested in friendship or dating with other irl people because you can never have the same closeness with their minds. And because the people in your head are much more interesting.
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This week’s obscure aspec label is...
Noetisexual
Noetisexual is someone who is only sexually attracted to people they have a mental connection with. This includes shared point of views, opinions, worldviews, and how their minds work.
The romantic equivalent is noetiromantic.
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Hello all! I’ve been doing this project over on Twitter (https://twitter.com/BeccaPaintmore/status/1444700310262456333?s=20 please click through for full size images) - Pride flags colour picked from Star Trek costumes! Suggestions of costumes/flags welcome! I am aiming to do every flag, so watch this space :3
10/?
#Noetiromantic#Imprisexual#Demibisensual#Nullenby#Deminull#Genderfloretten#Neutrandrogyne#NeutralAndrogyne#Nominsexual#Omniacepomo#Ursule#Outherine#Stellarian#StellarNonbinary#lgbt#star trek#pride#colour picked flags#TNG#DS9#VGR#ENT#VOY
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could i ask what the meanings of the noetisexual flag colors are?
Sure!
Black relates to the hidden, the secretive and the unknown. It relates to how the way one’s mind works is ambiguous, a mystery.
White relates to the openness that one is looking for; to learn more about that mystery that is one’s significant others’ mind.
Tan is for the stability in a closeness between people who have an attraction to the others’ mind.
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You all who writes academic posts...
I love you.
You make my sapioattrated ass extremely happy, and I always read these with a dum-dum dreamy expression.
You always make my day better with your random (or not) facts about things and I love you all for it ✨✨
#academic posts#smart people#intelligent#smart#long posts#sapiosexual#sapiophile#sapioromantic#sapiosexuality#noetisexual#noetiromantic
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thank you so much! is there a noetisexual, noetiromantic, etc flag? if not I might just make one myself. I really appreciate the comprehensive answer -same anon
no problem!! and there are a few flag designs - these for specific noeti- orientations, and this general noeti- flag, along with a horizontally-striped version, and lighter-colored versions of the vertical and horizontal flags.
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Noetisexual — It’s a mental attraction rather than a purely "intellectual" one. It’s loving the shape of their mental landscape and wanting to explore it. It’s falling in love with the way they think, their unique mental make up. It’s loving their creativity, their ingenuity, their silliness, their humor, their emotional intelligence, the way they use words, or the way they make mental space for you in their minds, and more.
It’s being attracted to the way their minds work — not how their brain functions — rather than simply one ill-defined facet of it. Noeti can serve as a prefix in itself: noetisexual, noetiromantic, noetisensual, etc. Noetilinking,the general experience, is not a sexuality per se; it can be a type of attraction like sensual or emotional are types.
Michon Neal
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today's cringe of the day is ya boy, veon! (aka me!!!) better pull out your xenogender dictionaries for this because HOLY SHIT
pika is a solarian aligned transmasc enby with enough genders and orientations to shake a stick at!! pika uses sylv/sylv, he/him, 🐺/🐺s, cat/cats, pika/pikas, furb/furby, clown/clowns, fau/faun, eev/eevee, nya/nyas, 💖/💖s, 🌈/🌈s, and 🐲/🐲s pronouns!! pika has too many genders to list, but some of them include charagender, genderfaun, autigender, witchgender, genderclown, scenecoric, cosmicgender, emotugender, malagender, librisett, angeligender, and drakefluid!!! pika also has lots of orientations, including nebularomantic, fictoromantic, objectum, diverseromantic, teratosexual, noetiromantic, xenoplatonic, and amphiplatonic!!
pika's professionally diagnosed with autism, ADHD, depression, psychosis, anxiety, and C-PTSD!! pika also suspects that pika has OCD, EDNOS, BPD, DID, body dysmorphia, and PPD! pikas special interests are Pokemon, MLP:FIM, dragons, cats, Disney, FNAF, creepypasta, furbies, clowns, scenecore, MOGAI, and Undertale!! pika also loves Sony Animated Movies, Nintendo games, Garfield, Tom and Jerry, Hello Kitty, and Minecraft!!
pika is in a polyam objectum relationship with pikas plushies, Chu (a Pikachu), Lola (a leopard), and Jelly (a cat), as well as several of pikas tarot and oracle decks!! pika's also in a platonic relationship with the rest of pikas plushies, and has adopted Cubby (a baby tiger plushie) as pikas own son! pika also has several characters from pikas special interests as F/Os, including Sans, Asgore, Hau, Foxy, Shining Armor, and Jeff the Killer, among others!!
pika is of course also kin, including Sylveon, Pikachu, Frisk, Smile Dog, Big Macintosh, and Kovu!! pika is also draconic, an incarnated angel, a cat therian, and wolfhearted!!
pika is also super scene and will protect microidentities with pikas life!!
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《 introduction 》
— hello!! this is my intro (repost) that I redid cuz I changed my layout.
https://pronouns.cc/@rottinqbonezz
about me:
-minor
-catwolf therian + furry
-im proship + comship but not rlly darkship (educate urself on these terms before attacking me. I’ll probably still interact if u say proship/comship dni if I see that ur definitions of these are incorrect)
-selfship
-they/he and any but NOT SHE/HER
-i use neos/xenos
-i have audhd, ocd, dpdr, and anxiety
-I CANT SEE w/o glasses 💖💖
-atheistic satanist and feminist
-selective mutism
-im every gender and sexuality except binary girl but if u ask I’d probably say I mainly identify with nonbinary, genderfluid, omnigender, and pansexual lesbian
-im aroace, caedfamilial, afamilial, noetiromantic, and semifictoromantic (basically I’m crazy /j)
ALSO, RADQUEER CAN INTERACT BUT I AM *NOT* RADQUEER. PRO-CONTACT PARAS ARE NOT WELCOME.
dni: p3dophiles, zoos, homophobes, racists, people who think pronouns = gender, transphobes, trans exclusionists, people who think lesbianism is strictly wlw and nmlnm (we can’t say gender is a construct then have strict rules for sexuality), people who harass others for fiction, anti-mspec and anti-mogai, radfem/terfs, anti-pro/com/darkship, people who hate on anyone with demonized disorders, pro-contact paras
#introduction#myself#about me#lgbtq#trans#gender neutral#genderfluid#aroaceflux#pronounflux#lesbian#fnf#kny#neurodivergent#pan lesbian#selective mutism
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