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#not heavy relationship focused fic
pyrefection · 9 months
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there needs to be more fic of the ghouls being satans little helpers. running errands and attending mass, working their ministry jobs and living normal daily life
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gay-ppl-real · 5 days
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Been writing quite a lot of WH fic in my spare time recently and I realised I've kinda accidentally created a consistent interpretation of how the neighbourhood would see Frank X Eddie (liking each other or being together but on the down-low):
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To be clear these aren't my theories on what's going on in the ARG, it's like... just in the world of the WH show itself, without getting deep into the horror and mystery elements, and therefore excluding facts like that in canon there's probably going to be homophobia themes to the story iirc. This is how I imagine it'd unfold if it just happened normally without whatever scariness is going on in Home as a factor.
Also I like playing around with lots of different ideas and dynamics and interpretations; this is just a bit of fun.
Transcripts (and a bunch of extra explanations/info) under the concealment charm! ⬇️
Sally:
Has no idea, because she's not paying attention to them.
Would be like "Cool. Now about MY NEXT PLAY!" if it was pointed out to her.
Unless she could make it into something dramatic.
(Extra: like if she thought of a way to basically make a performance out of it, I can imagine she'd do that. Eddie and Frank would both think she was being very strange.)
Poppy:
K N O W S
Possibly before even Eddie does, and trying to drop him hints.
Thinks they'd be wonderful together.
(Extra: She wouldn't think it was her place to say anything outright, especially because that could risk outing either of them, but she'd be like "Frank can be very protective of you, you know..." HINT HINT.)
Howdy:
Has a vague suspicion.
Doesn't think it's really his business.
DOES think they're cute together.
(Extra: it wouldn't really interest or concern him much so he wouldn't feel a need to offer input or say anything, but he would sometimes see them talking and be like 'lmao these bitches gay! good for them, good for them,' in his head.)
Wally:
Knows Eddie & Frank 'love each other' but is unclear on how this differs from how he loves all his neighbours.
Would be very happy for them if someone explained it to him.
(Extra: he wouldn't pick up on anything particularly special about them/their relationship, he just assumes that all his neighbours love each other because, in his opinion, what's not to love. He'd also likely be one of the first people either of them would feel comfortable telling.)
(Extra 2: also no-one would ever explain it to him properly. Eddie would get into embarrassed blethering and Frank wouldn't know what to say beyond that it's "just different," Barnaby would keep giving joke answers, Poppy and Howdy would just be like 🤷not my place, and Sally and Julie would keep telling him things that only made him more confused.)
Barnaby:
Would eventually pick up on it, and take great joy in teasing either of them.
Ultimately supportive, though.
(Extra: He'd greatly enjoy irritating Frank and making Eddie flustered in ways that meant nobody else but them knew what he was hinting at lol)
Julie:
#1 Frank X Eddie shipper.
She finds out because Frank talks to her about their feelings, and she's rooting for them from then on.
(Extra: she'd try to be Frank's wingman and just end up confusing and scaring Eddie and making Frank facepalm.)
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welcometoteyvat · 8 months
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the rarepair pipeline really is just (wants to see two characters interact) (the only people who make content of those two interacting are the shippers) (doesn't mind them having a romantic relationship and thus is converted into the rarepair)
#xiao.yun...... albe.qiu....... any iteration of the xq cy xl ht xin.yan yj gang that don't involve xing.yun.......#i think the minds of koko.mi x raiden shippers are very large but i honestly haven't interacted with enough ship content to rlly get a vibe#yae.sara is also something that tickles the brain mostly bc the people who write fic of them give them so much depth its very nice#x.iao x ht too tbh#like maybe i haven't read enough gen fic of them but i feel like there are so many good potential parallels and a lot of them#are only present/prominent in the ship fics between the two. bc there the writer will have a heavy interest in developing both chars and th#relationship (in the platonic and nonplatonic sense) they have w each other#idk man i'm like thinking about why i seem to ship an endless amt of rarepairs and i think the answer is just ships give people a lot of fr#freedom in imagining things#since so much fanfic is like romance geared bc the development of a relationship begets a natural plot#like yes that's probably something to take note of in fandom that there's so little nonromantic stuff that focuses on more than 1 character#but i dont mind its cute to play w characters like dolls and make them kiss kiss fall in love or whatever#as long as they're a round character and not just used for romance reasons or flattened into like 2 traits im down#ramblings!#2 clarify i honestly think those ships i mentioned are really cute im just analyzing how one could get into them (neutral connotations)
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wife-of-all-dilfs · 5 months
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Hii! I love love love all of your finnick fics! Could I please request a fic where reader is also a victor from an earlier game and she is in an established relationship with Finnick. They both get reaped (not the same district) for the 75th games and reader gets critically hurt in the part where the cornucopia spins. Like she falls into the water after maybe being injured and she can’t swim, so Finnick has to risk everything to save her life.
I’m really looking for like a hurt/comfort with a seriously injured reader and Finnick going through hell to save her because he cannot imagine a life without her in it.
Thank you so much if you’re willing to write this or something like it, feel free of course to change anything to your liking!
two souls, one heart | f. odair
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summary: finnick refuses to lose the love of his life. your inability to swim complicates things, especially when the cornucopia begins spinning.
pairing: finnick odair x fem!reader
warnings: pre-established relationship, heavy angst, drowning, death, bone fracture
notes: thank you so much!!! i really enjoyed writing this, shed a few tears but still enjoyed it lmao. listen to 'beginning of the end movement v' by the newton brothers on repeat for the full experience <3
A quiet nursery rhyme was being sung by the water's edge.
The calm waves around the Cornucopia lapped at the rocks, the blistering sun causing the surface to sparkle. Wiress' voice interrupted Peeta as he mapped out the arena's clock-like wedges in the dirt. Everyone was focused on the map; you should have been too.
Dark blue ripples had your eyes captivated. So tranquil. So hauntingly beautiful. Loving the sea was in your blood, as your District Four was your home. You would think coming from a fishing district would mean your swimming abilities were mastered. In reality, they were practically non-existent. No matter how many times Finnick had attempted to give you lessons, they never stuck.
Neither of you seemed to care though, always too enraptured by simply being in each other's company—feeling Finnick's hands support your body as you floated on the surface...
"Don't you let go of me, Finnick Odair, or I swear to god I'll drown you."
"Will that be before or after you drown first?" he chuckled, though ultimately tightening his grip on your body in an attempt to reassure you.
....hysterically laughing when he got wiped out by a sudden wave...
"No way! I can't—" You broke into a fit of laughter— "I can't believe that just happened!"
"Are you laughing at me, sweetheart?" Finnick asked, trudging through the water towards you, his hair drenched and swept across his forehead.
"Yes!"
You doubled over, knees buckling as you struggled to contain your laughter. Despite trying to put up a serious front, Finnick too let a few chuckles slip at the hysterical sight of you.
"Oh really?"
Just like that, his arms wrapped around your waist and pulled you down into the cold water, earning him a squeal just before you crashed together below the surface.
...and washing up on the sandy shore in each other's arms, salty lips capturing one another.
"I'm covered in sand," you murmured against Finnick's lips.
He gave you another kiss before pulling away. "It's okay," he said, pecking your lips again. "I'll help you wash off in the shower when we get back." And then sent you a stomach-flipping grin.
Even though you wouldn't trade those memories for the world, if you had known your life would soon depend on the ability to swim, you would have paid much more attention to the lessons.
Finnick stood closely beside you, his trident digging into the dirt as he gripped it tightly in case of an attack. He had noticed your drifted attention, observing the way your eyes stared at the rippling water, like death was lurking just beneath the surface waiting to drag you down to the murky depths.
He could protect you from most things in the arena, but fear was something entirely different. A trident couldn't defeat the darkness in your mind.
A hand slid onto your lower back, rubbing gentle strokes to gain your attention. Your gaze tore from the blinding blue and settled onto Finnick's face beside you, watching his mouth curve into a light smile. You knew the silent words he was trying to convey: 'You're okay, sweetheart. I've got you.'
For a fleeting moment, the anxiety had disappeared. How could anything ever go wrong with Finnick by your side? The corners of your mouth quirked, preparing to send him a smile in response. But it never came. Something new had caught your attention. The woman by the water was no longer singing.
Wiress had been murdered.
The second Katniss let her arrow fly into Gloss' chest, everything around you seemed to explode into action. Anything that could go wrong would go wrong—Murphy's Law. And it did.
The Careers had initiated an attack.
Charging forward from the waterside was Cashmere, determined to avenge her brother's death. Instinct quickly kicked in and the spear in your hand was sent barrelling through the air and into her chest. As you watched her body slump to the ground, an enraged yell came from the side.
Finnick was fighting Brutus.
With your only weapon lodged within Cashmere's chest, aiding Finnick was impossible. Enobaria revealed herself beside Brutus, displaying her vicious fangs and throwing a dagger that sliced a small cut across Finnick's shoulder. Though the wound was minor, your heart lurched as he cried out in pain.
Before a single thought in your brain could form, your legs were moving. Not towards Finnick, but after Enobaria. Remember who the real enemy is—screw that. Finnick could have died. Your Finnick. He called out your name, his voice hoarse and frayed, but you continued on, hatred fuelling each step. It seemed Katniss and Johanna had the same idea, following behind you with their weapons bared.
Salt water sprayed onto your face, but you paid it no attention. Nor did you notice as the jungle surrounding the island began to blur into one overwhelming hue of green. Only when your body was thrown to the harsh rocky terrain did you realise what was happening.
The Cornucopia had started to spin.
Nothing could compare to the terror you felt as gravity's merciless force dragged your body toward the violent waves surging against the rocks. Just as your lower legs breached the edge, a hand grabbed onto your own. Katniss. She too was hanging onto Johanna whose only lifeline was an axe buried in the rocks.
A moment—that was all you were given to scan your surroundings. Supplies and sharp-edged weapons were flying everywhere. White water was spraying into the air. Finnick, who was thirty feet away, was gripping onto a rock ledge whilst keeping Beetee from sliding into the furious waves. His head turned to the side and even from a great distance, your eyes met.
It was at that moment you knew, you just knew the odds weren't going to be in your favour. God forbid you lived a simple happy life with the man you loved, days spent together on a calm beach. God forbid the Gamemakers gave you one last chance to be in his arms. God forbid you survived.
And with that sudden realisation, the universe, sick as it was, decided it was time.
Your hand began slipping from Katniss's; an unseen tear fell from your eye, and you smiled. A smile of goodbye sent to the love of your life. His face contorted into one of agony, lips moving but you couldn't hear his voice over the roaring waves. Still, you knew exactly what he was shouting.
"NO! NO!"
There was nothing he could do but watch your body disappear into the waves, repeating over and over "no, no, no," and praying his cruel eyes had deceived him. They hadn't.
Dark blue was in every direction you looked. The undertow tossed and rolled your body like a ragdoll in a washing machine and despite your attempts to swim, the surface only seemed to be slipping further and further out of your reach. Darkness engulfed you, so thick that you couldn't tell which way was up or down. That was when the panic set in.
Your arms and legs thrashed frantically, struggling against the water's force, desperate to reach safety or an air pocket. Cold water flooded your throat as you gasped uncontrollably. You screamed as every attempt at breathing felt like fire burning in your lungs. Finnick. Where was he? Where were you? What was happening? Why wouldn't it stop?
Thoughts submerged your mind in terror, and you were powerless to stop them. All you could do was feel. Pain. Fire. Burning
At some point, the Cornucopia had ceased its spinning and your body came to a rest in the water. An eerie calm suddenly washed over you; a sense of clarity stilled your wild movements. This was the end. There was no future. No hope. The world above wasn't yours to call home anymore. You now belonged to the sea.
Of course, your water-logged mind had forgotten that home was where the heart was, and your heart was still beating... above the surface, in the aching chest of another.
Tendrils of hair floated around your face like fronds of seaweed. Rays of sunlight penetrated the surface, turning the surroundings a vibrant sparkly blue. As you sank further down, the water, now a comfortable lukewarm, cradled you in its embrace. It felt safe, like being in Finnick's arms again. Like home.
You gazed at the sun's rays; they looked beautiful. You felt beautiful. But time was running out and the bright light soon began shrouding your entire vision, though not before you witnessed a dark figure dive beneath the waves.
**********
Finnick loved the ocean. He spent most days in District Four down by the beach, swimming, spearfishing, and watching the sun rise and set on the blue horizon. If he believed in reincarnation, he would have imagined himself to be a lionfish or dolphin in his past life, living in an underwater world, free from tyranny and oppression. He loved the ocean.
But that love was incomparable to what he felt for you. So, when he dove into the rocky waters to save you and felt the currents fighting against him, he determined there was nothing he hated more than the ocean. Not as he watched its strong grip drag your motionless body further down below him.
Your back had just touched the soft seabed when he swam far enough down to envelope you in his embrace. He should have swum you back to the surface immediately, but in his distressed state, he couldn't help but foolishly stare at your lifeless appearance. Your skin was blue. It's just the water's colour, he told himself. Your eyes were closed. She's just asleep. Your neck didn't pulse under his touch. She's... She's...
He had no justification for that. Feet planted firmly on the sandy floor, he propelled both himself and you back up to the surface. As Finnick paddled back to the Cornucopia, the others reached down and helped lift your limp body onto the rocks.
"Is she...?"
"Peeta," Katniss quietly reprimanded him.
Finnick paid them no attention. He said nothing but trauma screamed in his eyes. His breathing was ragged and his hands were trembling as he frantically checked your pulse again—in both your wrists and your neck; he even pressed his ear to your chest. All he heard was the waves lapping against the rocks.
"No," he whispered again.
It seemed to be all he could say anymore. No. No, this couldn't be happening. You were just standing beside him a few minutes ago; your eyes were just looking into his. However much he tried to deny reality, it didn't seem to make it any less true. You were gone.
He choked out a rough determined breath, interlocked his hands over your chest, and began pressing repeatedly over your heart. Wet strands of tangled hair were strewn across the rocks like dead seaweed. The usual soft pink accompanying your cheeks was nowhere to be seen, devoid of any life.
"Come on, sweetheart," he muttered before pulling down your chin to blow air into your lungs. The kiss of life. And when nothing happened as he pulled away, he restarted the chest compressions. "Oh, don't do this to me," he begged, voice breaking. "Don't do this. Breathe."
Any moment now. Any moment, your eyes would flutter open, the colour would return to your glowing skin, and your heart would beat with life beneath his hands. Your lips would whisper his name and he would pull you into his arms, where he would keep you safe until the end of time.
"Breathe."
Thirty compressions. Two breaths. Nothing. He did it again. Thirty compressions. Two breaths. Silence. Maybe he should've just ripped his heart out and replaced yours with his own. Death would come for him within seconds but hearing something beating inside your chest would've made the sacrifice worth it.
Life would flash before his eyes and your beaming smile would be the last thing he'd get to see. His last thought would be of relief that you were alive.
Johanna rested a tentative hand on Finnick's shoulder. "Finnick, she's—"
"No, she's not!" he exclaimed, continuing his movements. "She's fine. Aren't you, baby? You're fine." He cupped your jaw, his thumb stroking your soft skin before he pressed his lips to yours and blew twice. "You're fine."
The golden bangle around his wrist glimmered in the sunshine as he pressed on your ribcage. All he had to do was keep you alive until Plutarch rescued everyone. One simple task and he failed.
"Finnick, we have to go," someone said. Who? He didn't know nor care.
Leave me, he wanted to say. Leave me here to die. Let the Careers mutilate my body, take my life, my last breath, but let it be by her side.
Something cracked beneath his palms and he knew one of your ribs had fractured. His arms stilled, half-expecting you to cry out in pain but then he remembered. And with that sickening crack came a devastating realisation—you really were gone.
A sob erupted from his throat and his head fell to your chest, drenching your already-soaked wetsuit with hot tears. Everything else seemed to disappear. The arena, the Careers who could attack again at any moment, the spectators who were avidly watching. Everything.
It was just him and you. He didn't care that his screams and deafening sobs could bring unwanted attention or jeopardise the group's safety. Any tribute with half a mind would know crossing him in such a state would be a fatal flaw. Even if they did, it wouldn't matter. Nothing mattered. Life no longer had meaning.
Finnick pulled your lifeless body onto his lap and cradled you protectively in his arms, lightly rocking back and forth. His forehead rested against your own, cold and damp. You always were the cold one, needing his touch to light a fire beneath your skin. He loved having you rely on him for warmth, but not like this.
"Come back to me, baby, please," he begged almost inaudibly. Tears were running down his cheeks as he brushed pieces of hair away from your face. His lips were on yours once more, heartbroken and painfully delicate; not to fill your lungs with air, but to fill your heart with his love in the hopes it would be enough to bring it back to life. "Don't leave me."
Pleas, prayers, begs, and wishes flew past his lips, over and over. And then they stopped and Finnick simply stared. Silence fell across the entire arena. The birds didn't chirp, the other tributes remained quiet, and the trees stood still. Even the water had calmed, resembling a perfectly flat mirror.
Finnick only had three words left on his tongue. Three final words to give you, wherever it was that you were. He slowly leaned down, squeezed his stinging eyes shut, and pressed a long farewell kiss to your forehead. His eyes remained closed as he parted from your skin, unable to take another look as he whispered his final goodbye.
"I love you."
And then, for the first time since he had rescued you from the blue depths, he felt his heart beating again. Just like yours was.
**********
There was a voice, distant yet reassuring—a lifeline to consciousness. Black was all there was. Coldness was all that was felt. It was desolate. But that voice... that voice was so anguished yet so familiar and encouraging that it lit a fire inside your chest, warming you from the inside out.
In the distance of the dark void was a figure, their body made entirely out of a pulsating golden light. Each word the voice spoke enhanced the light's brightness. "Come... me, please..." Brighter. "Don't leave..." And brighter.
The light was warm and comforting, just like the voice attached to it. Whoever's voice it was that brought the light resonated deep in your mind, tugging at the strings within your heart.
Your heart.
The thumping in your chest was weak, almost non-existent, but it was still there. Though it seemed time was running out. Pitch-black darkness outweighed the golden light ten-to-one; you could feel its cold breath creeping onto your back. So, you started running towards the figure. Sprinting. Until all that surrounded you was golden.
"I love you."
Water. At first, it came trickling out in two fluid streams from the sides of your mouth. Then suddenly, it was spraying into the air as choked coughs forced the liquid from your burning lungs. Light flooded your vision—not golden and inviting, but vivid and overwhelming.
There was something warm beneath your legs, against your arm, rubbing at your back, holding you in an upright position. While you heaved, dry-retched, and gasped, that soothing warmth remained.
As your airways began to clear and the expulsion of water ceased, your half-lidded eyes rolled around the area. Still dazed and disoriented, you struggled to make out what surrounded you. There was immense rippling blue, vibrant hues of green in the distance, dark rough grey beneath you, and elongated blobs of colour that stood a few feet away.
"Just–just keep breathing, sweetheart." That voice. The one belonging to the figure of light that brought you back. It was madly repeating the same words over and over. "You're okay", "Deep breaths", and "You're alive."
Shaky fingers brushed the stray wet strands of hair from your face. So warm. With the little energy you had, your head turned to seek out the golden light again. And you found it.
The blinding sun shining down reflected off his bronze hair, turning it a divine golden hue. His brows were raised and scrunched together as though he couldn't possibly believe what he was seeing. Deep lines were etched into his tear-streaked skin, evidence of his previous turmoil. Those sea-green eyes stared at you, afraid that if he so much as blinked, you would fall lifeless in his arms once more.
"You're here," he whispered.
Finnick. YourFinnick. Your light.
When your eyes met, a splitting grin lit up his face, made up of an inconceivable amount of raw emotion. You weren't sure what to do—smile, laugh, cry, kiss him? Your mind was scrambled, overwhelmed with love for the beautiful golden-haired man in front of you.
Without warning, your face scrunched up and the tears began flowing. You weren't sure why you were crying. Maybe it was because you had just been brought back from the brink of death; maybe it was because you couldn't believe someone actually cared so deeply about you.
Finnick cradled your face in his hand. "It's okay," his voice trembled, tears now cascading down his cheeks. His smile, however, never disappeared. "You're okay. You're safe now. I'm not letting you go."
He took your face into two large hands, brought you to his lips, and pressed a tender kiss to each tear that rolled over your skin. One of your hands rested over his; the other was placed against his chest, feeling it rise and fall so you could synchronise your breaths.
His arms moved to pull you tightly against him, almost like he was trying to merge your body with his. Or perhaps, it was your soul. You didn't care about the pain aching in one of your ribs. You wanted to tell him that his soul was already intertwined with your own, but words couldn't describe the sentiment as profoundly as you felt it.
In the simplest of terms your water-logged brain could muster, you whispered, "You're my light, Finnick."
Brows scrunched together, he looked down at you, fighting back the urge to start sobbing in your arms. If he had been anywhere else, if there wasn't an entire country watching, he would've gone on for hours, explaining how stupidly, selfishly, and incredibly in love with you he was.
But he couldn't do that. Not now. So, he placed his hand over the one you had resting on his chest and readjusted its position. He could feel the thumping, even through your palm.
Your eyes were full of emotion as you stared up into his. You already knew what his next words were going to be and for the first time since you were thrown into the water from the Cornucopia, you smiled.
Rhythmically, your hand and his pulsed together. Finnick's gaze flickered across your face and he grinned. "You're my heart."
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chrollohearttags · 5 months
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“silly boy, come find me when you’re older!” • a. artlert
synopsis: two lovers realize their relationship isn’t meant to be but that doesn’t mean they have to part ways forever..
content + themes: fem!reader (black coded), age gap (2-3 years, armin is 19, reader is 21-22) college au-ish (armin is going to nursing school + reader is a business grad), star-crossed lovers trope, angst + comfort, missionary, riding, hand holding, heavy kissing, crying (not dacryphila), accidental creampie, pet names (baby, mama, baby boy, angel), drug mentions, he gets possessive for like .2 seconds.
word count: 3.1K
📝: I have been so in love with fluff and the idea of soft smut lately (maybe it’s the holidays, maybe it’s my hormones..who knows!) but this is a part of a new au I’m starting! A new story that’ll be coming out soon and I can’t wait. For now, enjoy one of several side fics to accompany it! Also, please tell me y’all know this title reference 😭
───✱*.。:。✱*.:。✧*.。✰───────✱*.。:。✱*.:。✧*.。✰────
“I really wish you wouldn’t look at me like that…”
the phrase seemed to have alluded him yet again..slipping through one ear and out the next. Almost as if only his body was present and his mind and spirit were elsewhere. It was to be expected though..
“..armie..? Aren’t you going to say something, baby? Anything?..”
you had just confided in him quite possibly the worst thing ever. In truth, his heart was breaking and there wasn’t a single thing that either of you could do to mend it. Although, you felt solely responsible..that the reason for his pain was entirely your fault. But it was a necessary confession nonetheless. One that you truly believed would benefit you both. Distance. Distance between the two of you so that he could properly pursue his education. A long sought after dream of becoming a nurse. Following directly in his mother’s footsteps and making her proud..it was all Armin ever wanted. As it stood, that was a mere concept and it was thanks to the girl lying next to him. His sweet, beloved (y/n). The (y/n) he reunited with at a house party one night and had been wildly entangled with ever since. Hooking up, drinking and smoking…what most peers your age was doing but you also had bigger aspirations for both Armin and yourself. He wanted to become a registered nurse, working with children and you were already two years deep into your collegiate journey as a business major. Laser focused and ambitious..ready to conquer your goals. You couldn’t waste your lives away in the back of his car, hotboxing and having sex. As fun as this little whirlwind romance was, you had to cut things off. At least for the foreseeable future..for both of your sakes. It wasn’t an easy decision in the slightest and you were far more torn up by the situation than what you were letting on but it had to be done. Regardless of your emotions..
“..I just don’t understand..I mean, is there someone else? Why don’t you want me anymore?…”
there it was..underneath all of those newly etched tattoos, shaggy blonde locks and suave charm lied that sweet, gentle boy. The same nerdy kid you’d first encountered whilst attending the same high school. Although two years apart, you found him to be adorable and couldn’t help but to grace the awkward brainiac with a smile every morning on his visits to the library. A beautiful goddess like you even acknowledging him? He was grateful for that alone! But it wasn’t until his senior year did the two of you reconnect. By that time, he had shed his thick, wire framed glasses for icy blue contacts to match his own..grew out his blonde bowl cut to a curly shag and had even acquired a couple of art pieces on his arm. Not to mention, gained some muscle from playing basketball. Some say you were the catalyst for his sudden change. Although this appearance was new, deep down, he was still that wide eyed genius with unbelievable intelligence. And best believe, your kindness wasn’t lost on him. So it came as no surprise, when you happened to cross paths with him at a graduation party that your younger sister, who happened to be in the same class with him, was attending..he found the courage to finally talk to you face to face. All of his newfound confidence flew out of the window when he saw you..that ethereal skin, deity like features and of course, that smile. That smile that made his heart flutter. “You haven’t changed a bit, baby boy…”
certainly his looks had, but you saw through all of that. You saw Armin for who he truly was and for that, he couldn’t allow you to slip away without confessing his true feelings. So that night, with liquor in his veins, he charmed you with sweet words and told you that he’d always had the biggest crush on you. It didn’t take long for you guys to get involved..days after that party, you began seeing one another. Both romantically and intimately. However, your relationship wasn’t exactly conventional or ideal..you were good for each other, perhaps a little too well. Because every moment that presented itself, you’d find yourself in every bed, couch, bathroom or backseat..going at it like rabid animals. The sex was insane and you couldn’t get enough of each other. It was only coupled by the sensation of the drugs coursing your veins..stimulants that sent your mind to places you didn’t need to be. Although there was never a single fight between you two, you knew the relationship wasn’t a healthy one. You encouraged each other’s worst habits. He had gotten a full ride scholarship to his dream school and you had obtained several as well for your ideal program. But you both stood to lose those if you didn’t make some changes. Ditching class to go smoke and then fucking him in every square inch of your off campus apartment. Sending him nudes and salacious messages during class, along with always being underneath each other. He’d never be able to focus and stay on track at this rate! Hence why you had to be the mature one and break things off. Even if it brought you to tears as well. So with a shaky palm, as you lay in bed next to one another, you’d bring a hand to his face and quell his doubts.
“You couldn’t possibly think that..you're the only one I want, Armin. I swear on everything..but..we can’t keep doing this. I love you so much but we’re no good for each other. At least not right now..”
but he’d attest, almost immediately. Insisting that he could buckle down and focus on his goals at hand. However, your mind was made up. That blind obsession and adoration for you would never allow him his room for growth. It wasn’t fair. Here you were only another year shy of receiving your degree and he was barely even started. You had to give him a fair shot, even if it meant removing yourself from the equation. You had even found an internship. He’d try to talk you out of it, convince you that he could juggle both college and you but regardless of how smart he was, nursing school was an entirely different beast in and of itself. It would require his full attention and dedication if he wanted to be an exceptional caregiver. No drugs, no distractions…no you. His studies deserved all of his time.
“So why can’t we make it work then? Isn’t that what couples do or was I nothing more than a joke?”
“Armin…”
in that moment, he’d tug away and roll over onto his side, giving you the proverbial cold shoulder and it stung like hell. The last thing you wanted to do was fight the man you loved. If anything, you wished things could stay like this forever. But you both had growing up to do and until that happened, it was best you parted ways.
“..I have an idea..”
But it wasn’t something that had to be permanent..for now though, there was no need to be upset with one another when you could spend your remaining time enjoying yourselves. Gently pulling him back towards you, you’d maneuver your legs until you were able to crawl on top of him. Those long acrylics scaled his freshly tattooed chest as you gently straddled his waist..at that moment, his little cheeks flushed red and you’d feel his breathing becoming slightly heavier. You’d lean down and begin peppering light kisses to his temple and all around his face..all while slowly rolling your hips against his crotch. With you, he was vulnerable..at his softest and would undoubtedly listen to whatever you said. “I’m all ears..”
that’s when you’d devise a plan that you believed that both of you could agree upon. An agreement of sorts.. “..two years..in two years, we can see each other again, just like this. We’ll work hard and reach our goals. You’ll be in your senior year, doing clinicals and I’ll be at my new job. We can find a place and finally start our lives together. Armin, I love you so much and I don’t want to see you throw your life away. Please..promise me you’ll find your way back to me when you’re ready. When we’re both in a better place..” once he spotted your tearful plea and heard the tone in your voice, he knew what had to be done. Personal feelings aside..you were absolutely right. He knew if he stood any chance of keeping you in his life, he had to blossom into a grown man that you could be proud of. One that was worthy of being called yours. Reaching up, Armin would grasp your hand and bring it to his lips for a gentle kiss, holding it close. He wanted to remember that feeling..savor it and savor you as well. God, he didn’t want you to leave, he wasn’t ready to say goodbye!..but this was the only way. The only way he could ensure that he got to have you in the long run. He wanted you two to grow old together so he’d make this temporary sacrifice to be able to share an eternity with you.
“..you have my word, angel. I promise..I promise I’ll come back to you a better man than what I’ve been..”
“Then take me…right here.”
just then, you’d feel his hand snake up your spine and tug you down towards his chest..not another word was exchanged. Just slow, tender pecks and breathy moans..immersed in the covers and in one another, you’d allow the moment to take you both. Your palms cupping his cheek and his gripping your ass, you’d tousle around underneath the sheets. It didn’t take long for the endearing moment to become rather heated but it was a true testament of the passion between you two. In a moment of haste, his nails would gently dig into the curvature of your back as you leaned up. In a matter of minutes, you’d feel his once flaccid erect growing harder underneath you. The sensation of your dripping heat making direct contact with him..and it was driving him crazy! He needed you so badly right now and you were just the same.
“Armieeee..”
calling out with a high pitched whimper as you ground yourself against him. You couldn’t stop either..almost as if you’d simply combust if you were to be pulled away from him right now. Frail cries would escape his lips as well but he’d find a semblance of control to satisfy your desires, which took precedence over everything else.
“Yes, baby? Tell me what you need..”
cooing to you in that sweet, loving tone that always managed to turn you to meet putty in his hands every time. You were still hopelessly rutting yourself against him; arousal overflowing from between your thighs that quickly. He knew what you wanted but he needed to hear you say the fateful words..give him instruction and guidance the way you had always done. “Hey, look at me, mama..” gently snatching your head forward and forcing eye contact as your chest heaved. “N-need you. Need you so bad, baby..please. Make love to me..” and with that whiny declaration, he’d make haste in fulfilling your wish. With a cocked smile, Armin would reign you in tighter, reaching for you. “Then here..take my hands, angel..” on his command, your hands would join in a gentle clasp, combining as one as you adjusted your lower half to align with his. He’d buck his hips upward and you’d lower yourself down as your bodies became one… meeting in an instant. “Fuck…” the word escaping your mouths simultaneously along with gentle moans. That seemed to be the theme for the night. A stark comparison to the wild nights you shared together previously. Perhaps.. it was the realization that this was really the last time you’d get to do this for a while. That he wouldn’t be able to feel the comfort of your body, to smell your intoxicating scent..to clash with your plump lips..to taste the sticky gloss that coated them. To stare into those gorgeous brown eyes. So as he lie underneath you, being rode to kingdom come as your tightness constricted around him once more, Armin would close his eyes and absorb every memory, every fiber of you..ensuring that he’d never forget his first and true love.
“There you go, baby. Right there..ride me—fuck!”
and he couldn’t possibly forget how you made him feel. How you set him ablaze with your overwhelming passion..still bound hand in hand, heart to heart, you’d keep going. Throwing your head to the wind and calling out your lover’s name, lifting it to the heavens as you bounced up and down. Taking him to your hilt; allowing that swollen tip to prod your most sensitive area. “Armin, baby! Yes..oh my gosh, you feel so good.” For the first time, you didn’t just fuck him. His flesh was more than a mere vessel of pleasure..it was your soul becoming one with his own. You were experiencing true pleasure in its purest form..and neither of you wanted it to end. Finally opening his eyes, he’d be greeted by the ethereal view of your breasts swaying and your beautiful face throwed in ecstasy filled bliss. “Aw, baby..you’re so beautiful. My favorite view in the entire world.” Smiling as tears streamed generously down your cheeks. “Oh my God—I love you, Armin! I love you so much.” Confessing with all that you could muster. And that warm, gushing sensation derived from your sex wasn’t lost on Armin either. He’d find himself in a fit of heaving as your walls closed in around his cock. Squeezing him as if to never let go. “Ahh!-shit..I love you too, baby!—“
in that moment, he could no longer hold back his urges. His need to claim full dominion over you..hastily, he’d bring you to a cease before maneuvering and flipping you over onto your back. It was then that he’d mount you. Diving between your legs as he held each in place. He didn’t even take a moment to adjust. It was mere seconds before you’d find yourself filled with him yet again and he’d begin his descent into your mix. Sloshing and drumming up slick as your thighs collided in a fiery haze. The bed..the one that you’d messed around in so many times before served as the place of consummation for your devotion tonight..ricocheting and colliding with the wall as thunderous slams erupted. Your limbs entangled as your legs found home around his waist and your arms on his back. His entire frame lay bare and pressed to your own as those hips crashed into you. It felt unreal..so unbelievably unreal. But this was the present..your reality for the time being so you’d savor every last moment you got together. Drilling further into your body, his pace sped to a barrage of more steady, consistent strokes. Ones that he would accompany with sloppy tongue kisses. Filling your mouth with them as he pounded you gently. You couldn’t keep your hands off of each other. Regardless of how many times you slept together, something about this moment was starkly different. “Look at me, (y/n)!…” once again, snatching your head forward to meet his gaze. “You’re mine..you’re mine and I don’t give a damn where you go. I belong to you, you hear me? Don’t forget that..” those tears that had been brimming in his eyes finally fell and you’d affirm his sentiment with a fierce nod of your head, assuring him that no amount of distance or time could ever dissipate the love you shared for one another. “Yes baby! And I’m all yours, forever. I won’t ever leave you.” Sealing your promises with one final act..
“Yeah? You mean that?” “Every word, baby. I want you to always be with me..” Vocalizing back and forth as he continually thrashed around inside of your pussy until he sensed the urge that you were close. Upholding one another’s heads in a passionate fury, you’d exchange breathy words amid your love making. Telling him you’re near your peak and him telling you to let go. “Come for me, baby. You can come all over—“ but alas, before he could grant you permission, it would seem that he’d reach his climax first; glaring with a wide eyed expression as his seed filled you to the brim..something he’d never done before! Cursing himself and apologizing as he shook violently, draining every drop of himself into you. Perhaps he took your words a bit too literal but it was far too late to turn back now and shortly after, you’d follow. Showering him with a splatter of sticky rain. Squeezing and dripping all down his shaft. You’d convulse and flail around the mattress until he was able to quell you with gentle kisses. “I’m right here, mama. Let it out, it’s okay..” but once you were back into consciousness, you still wouldn’t let go and you remained entangled like this minutes afterwards. Exchanging “I love you’s” and sweet nothings. Along with tears..shedding them not for what would be lost but the time you had together and the comfort in knowing that you’d reunite soon enough. This time as more than friends with benefits or even mere freshmen sweethearts. But as an entity, an item that could never be separated because your bond was forged on a stronger foundation than one made of pure lust. It was love that would drive you to be better versions of yourselves, to work hard and it was love..that would bring you right back to one another when the time was truly right!
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@citysweet @greenieweeniesworld @hoohoohope @c0pkiller @bey0nseh @violetxxvenom @dragonmaiden79 @fuck-your-chickenstrips-hoe @saiki-enthusiast
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I have a document called Everything RemRom. Had it for 2 years now. But back in July I made a new doc, Everything LoCeit. So one of my current “problems” is trying to decide which doc to put my ideas.
This happens too much.
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wonysugar · 15 days
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close the door | hanni pham
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synopsis : you had no idea what you were doing, and neither did she.
genre : fluffy smut!
pairing : non-idol!hanni x gf!femreader
tags : they’re in love your honor, lots of kissing and making out, cuddling, l-bombs, top!femreader, bottom!hanni, they’re both virgins, fingering, clit play, nipple play, neck kissing, hanni’s dogs are mentioned twice lawl, lots of comfort, lots of consent! they’re literally just lovey dovey girlfriends having sex for the first time aheheh
warnings : none :]
word count : 2.5k
a/n : if you’re rereading this and thinking “hey the synopsis changed and there wasn’t an author’s note before!!” well you’d be right I POSTED THIS IN A RUSH I’M SO SORRYYFKEJF
anyways!! this is just to say that this fic is inspired by the lovely writer that is sorry for tagging you twice ahh @facefullofsadness’s fic right over here :] sooo GO READ THAT FIRST! it’s truly lovely and i really enjoyed reading it, hence why i wrote thisskfke. thank you for readingg<33
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oh how you loved your girlfriend.
you would die for your girlfriend, actually, even if you only started dating barely a few months ago. who could blame you? that’s what happens when you’ve been best friends prior to your relationship for so, so, so long. it simply started with a ‘hi! my name’s hanni! what’s yours?’ from her part at the innocent age of seven and just like that, years later, you guys were still inseparable. 
so really, your life-long friendship and months-long relationship were both with the same gorgeous and outgoing girl, and the only thing distinguishing those two was the label you used to describe them.
“bro i genuinely don’t understand why he doesn’t just… run away. cause— get this, there’s obviously a murderer in his house right? and what does he decide to do about that? just stay in there. like, okay.. like i’m aware they needed plot but lord, i don’t know at least make it somewhat realistic you know what i mean—“ was what your girlfriend said, on her bed as she sat down in between your legs and leaned her back against you, her head facing forward and resting on your shoulder.
you simply nodded along to her words as you played with her hair, trying your hardest to stay focused on the piece of media before you whilst also paying your utmost attention to her, despite her constant ranting and criticizing of the entire movie. you, having originally liked the film, were now conflicted about your opinion on it. it’s not like she was wrong, her very heavy criticism had to have come from somewhere, after all, but you couldn’t help but slightly appreciate the storyline. so, you weren’t really sure what you felt about it anymore.
one thing you were certain of, however, 
was that your girlfriend looked really good while passionately rambling. like, way too good. she had tied her dark hair into a high ponytail, it also looked wavy due to the rain that was pouring on you guys earlier, her messy bangs fell perfectly onto her forehead. and her smile? it always looked perfect. she always looked perfect. 
and since you apparently weren’t hiding your admiration well enough, she very quickly noticed it.
she giggled teasingly. her voice sweet like honey, her australian accent more prominent than usual, she spoke up, “hello?” before full-on laughing, “were you even listening to me?”
you could only kiss her, that seemed like the only appropriate response in the heat of the moment. she, of course, kissed back just as lovingly before pulling away moments after, a curious and confused look on her face. 
“no seriously, what is up with you?” she kept teasing, smiling stupidly as she kept her gaze lingering on yours for the following seconds, her eyes unconsciously drifting to your lips. “you look stupid.”
“and you look really pretty.” was what you whispered back to her, earning a shy smile and an exaggerated eye roll from her. immediately, you made your lips come into contact with hers again. it felt as if the world would stop spinning if you didn’t, like a slowly growing urge to keep touching her suddenly came over you and you needed to fill it.
“so.. so pretty.” you mumbled, so quietly that it was almost to yourself, before going back in. you allowed yourself to make the kiss deeper and slid her tongue across her soft lips as you demanded entrance. you could hear her let out slight noises, she clearly was not expecting you to do anything of the sorts, at least not right now. she was a tad bit confused, but let you in, who in their right mind would pass up the opportunity to kiss their girlfriend? immediately, your hands wrapped around her waist whilst you continued kissing her lovingly, your tongue roaming every part of her mouth.
it didn’t take long before your hands started naturally reaching under her top, caressing on her tummy and progressively going higher with each sound she let out.
you pulled away, slightly worried of going too far, “c-can.. can i continue, hanni?”
you were scared, terrified, even! despite knowing each other for years, you’d only been dating for a few months; those are two completely different things! it’s not like you see your completely platonic best friend’s naked body every tuesday. even then, despite dating, you still haven’t gotten that stage of the relationship. and on top of that,
the two of you were a proper pair of virgins. you had no idea what you were doing, and neither did she. you didn’t want to seem like an inexperienced loser to her, you wanted to take care of her and make her feel good. what if that didn’t happen? what if you made it awkward between the two of you?? it was nerve-racking.
as if barging into your mind and reading your thoughts, wanting to reassure you, she grabbed your hand in a gentle manner before nodding. then, she spoke up, “can you close the door?”
“there’s.. nobody home, though?”
she giggled, “oh i know, it’s just that i don’t want the dogs to potentially walk in on this.”
you groaned dramatically, laughing and insisting that you were too lazy to get up and that her dogs wouldn’t understand the situation if they even walked in. she, in response, just tapped your knee with a cheeky smile, encouraging you to stand up.
“come on y/n, close the door. think about milly and mia; think about their innocence!” she exaggerated.
after playfully hitting her arm and laughing along with her, you got up, proceeded to close and lock the door like she asked you to and eventually walked back to her bed, sitting back on it and positioning yourself the way you originally were, her back to you again. 
“happy?” you asked in a fake arrogant tone.
she hummed, radiant, “yes, very happy.” before turning her head just right and kissing you again.
eventually back to the original rhythm of the kiss, you placed your hands back on her stomach again, slowly caressing and teasing higher and higher with time. once you reached her bra, you proceeded to impatiently unhook it, immediately taking it off of her.
her breathing got heavier with each second that passed, partially due to nervousness, probably. you’d be lying if you said that wasn’t the case for you too. the more your hands carefully roamed her body, the more self-conscious you got, you truly had no idea what you were doing. 
then, as if something in your mind clicked, you had an idea. what if you just did to her whatever you enjoyed doing to yourself in moments like these? that could work.. right? maybe??
you glided your hand upwards, your finger lightly grazing her nipple. in response to the sudden movement, a lewd sound accidentally escaped from her pretty lips, her breath hitching. that sound was a small moan.
a small one, barely audible, yet it was still enough for you to feel the activation of every single neuron residing in your brain.
then suddenly, it’s like the concept of making love to her wasn’t as nerve-racking as it originally was.
“s-sorry..” she apologized, seeming slightly embarrassed.
you kissed her cheek, reassuring her, “don’t apologize, i wanna hear you.”
despite it being an accident, she seemed to enjoy the sensation of your hand on her chest, so you went back to teasing her tits and gently groping them before you eventually asked, “is it okay if i go further..?”
nodding in a keen manner, she swallowed her saliva, then breathed out her response, “yes. yes keep— keep going. please.”
well shit! even if you wanted to stop, it’s not like you could, not with how good she sounded pleading for you.
not wasting any more time, you proceeded to separate one of your hands from her chest and quickly slid it downwards; to the band of her sweatpants. now, of course, your other hand was still in its original place, working its magic, but you wanted her to feel more. so much more.
you wanted to convey every surge of affection you violently felt for her into pleasure. and, if there was one thing you surely knew how to do, it was kissing her. 
so, you started kissing on her neck, which she didn’t expect whatsoever, and still heavily concentrated on the hand you had on her breast. then, you pulled on the sleeve of her tee just enough to expose her shoulder and moved your mouth towards it, nipping and gently licking it.
your hand now fully slipped into her pants, you teased her entrance through the fabric of her underwear as you kept kissing her naked shoulder. you listened to her attentively and took mental notes of her reactions; so far, her breathing got heavier, her thighs slightly clenched around your hand and she was now frequently biting her lip. 
plus, her panties were wet. 
did all of that mean you were doing good? …perhaps it did!
and did her drenched underwear make you short circuit? perhaps it did as well!
“d-d’you feel okay?” you asked, before going back to slowly kissing her shoulder. she threw you a quick glance, chest heaving up and down. 
“s-so okay.” she giggled.
her smile being contagious, you found yourself doing the exact same thing, content with the answer she gave you.
soon enough, you traced your finger up her clothed slit before eventually sliding it into the undergarment she wore, making her shudder. after what felt like an eternity, you could feel her slick coat your digits from one swipe of the finger. 
it was tantalizing.
growing impatient, you quickly yet carefully settled your middle and ring finger on her swollen clit, making slow circular motions on it, looking at her in the process. full on whimpering, this time, she stared back at you, no longer embarrassed. she wanted to let you know how good you were making her feel, hence why she was getting louder with each movement you made, and it filled you with enough confidence and adrenaline to gently push her head towards you, leaning in for a kiss.
thankfully, she kissed you back, deeply at that, her eyes closed and her quiet moans muffled.
you pulled away after a few moments, “tell me if it hurts, okay?” you reminded her. she simply nodded, brain all fuzzy from arousal.
she grabbed your other hand and intertwined her fingers with yours. “g-go slowly.” she whispered.
“i will.” you affirmed.
slowly and gently, you slid your fingers into her core, making sure not to go too fast or too rough. thankfully, the wetness was making it easier for you, and probably for her as well. every time that your girlfriend’s breath hitched, that her hand gripped harder on yours or, hell, every time that her eyes closed, you stopped in your tracks and double checked to see if you were hurting her, so it took a little while for your digits to fully penetrate her. 
fortunately, she assured you that you weren’t, in fact, hurting her. some moments just felt more comfortable than others, is all.
once they were fully in, you gave her time to get used to the feeling, still double checking on her state every now and then. after a few deep breaths, she nodded.
“i-i’m ready.”
you started to pump your fingers in and out of her, taking in all of her as your speed slowly increased as time went on. naturally, as more time passed, you felt the urge to make her feel good get even stronger.
that’s when you decided to increase the pace, your fingers curling on just the right spot inside her, pumping faster and faster as your thumb played with her clit.
“is this okay baby—” you asked.
“f-fuck— yes y/n that feels good—“ was what she moaned out, cutting you off. a feeling of bliss progressively and clearly overtaking her whole body.
when you tried to look at her despite only being able to see her side profile, you could’ve sworn you saw an angel. her cheeks were slightly tinted with a pinkish color and her eyebrows were upturned, her whole face contorted with pleasure, her skin glistening with sweat. her eyes hooded with lust, hanni looked down at herself and attentively watched as you played with her. your fingers swimming in her slick, navigating in her folds the way a skilled sailor would the vast ocean, it was hypnotizing, and she realized how this was probably the way you got yourself off on a regular day, and she couldn’t help but moan at both the thought and the sensation. 
you made her feel good, you made her feel happy, loved. you always did.
amidst the chaos that was her messy bed, the setting somehow looked better than every piece of artwork you’d ever seen combined. the bed creaked ever so slightly, and she looked and sounded so beautiful, especially with the way the sun set directly on her parted lips at that moment. 
you were certain that your heart skipped a beat at the sight.
“i love you so much, hanni.” you softly said, kissing the back of her ear whilst you kept fingering her. she couldn’t form proper words, so she simply tightened her grip on your hand more, as a way to say it back.
then, once you picked up a stable pace for a few minutes, her back arched against you, her breathing getting heavier, practically panting. her hand’s grip on yours getting tighter, you felt her hot breath hit your neck once she settled her head into the crook of it.
“y/n— baby i think i’m- i’m— mmh—“
that was the moment she reached climax, letting out a long and loud moan as she rode out her orgasm, bucking her hips against your hand before smashing her lips onto yours. quietly, she let a few i love yous slip out of her mouth between kisses, her hand resting on your head, fingers intertwined with your soft hair. 
you particularly made sure to say it back to her every time.
you pulled out your fingers and took your hand out of her pants. still coming down from her high, she smiled at you with tired eyes and kissed your cheek. you smiled back, looking at her lovingly.
“d-did i do okay?” 
she giggled, “..are you seriously asking me that? do you not see me right now?” 
you raised your eyebrows, playful, “for all i know you were faking it.”
“yeah, actually.. i was faking it, especially with how wet i was from the whole thing. aren’t i such a good actor y/n? it’s almost like i legitimately came really hard—”
“shut up.” you elbowed her, laughing. she gave you a cheeky smile before she got up from the bed, grabbed a pair of new underwear from her drawer and opened the bedroom door, heading straight towards the living room to pet her dogs after changing. 
“hey y/n?”
“hm?”
“…wanna bake brownies in a bit?” 
“uhm.. yes? what kind of question is that?? let me just go wash my hands first.” you replied, getting up and walking towards the bathroom before adding on, “unless you wanna eat very unsanitary cum-buttered brownies, of course—“
you heard her contagious laugh from across the hallway, making you smile to yourself, “you’re fucking disgusting— go wash your hands, you weirdo!”
oh how you loved your girlfriend.
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admirxation · 14 days
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Marriage is just a piece of paper ~ Leon Kennedy oneshot
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father-in-law!leon kennedy x daughter-in-law!afab!reader
summary - Leon has had his eyes on you ever since his son introduced you to him, and after the honeymoon he decides he won’t let your union come in the way of what he wants.
cw - this fic contains pseudo-incest and heavy smut; actions in this fic are not condoned; I do not condone everything I write; this is just fiction where real people cannot get hurt, continue at your own discretion // 18+ heavy smut (mdni), description of disappointing sex with partner, pseudo-incest, injury, slight hurt/comfort, touching, tit play, unprotected sex (p in v), back scratching, dirty talk, and coming inside. (word count: 2.4k)
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Honeymoon. A period of harmony following marriage. The word is known and experienced by many, whether it is a short getaway, a dream vacation, everyone has the notion that the honeymoon entails a dream like state of beauty. You, like many others, dreamt of sharing a honeymoon with a lover for so long, expecting it to be one of the best moment of your life, next to the actual marriage ceremony. After all, it’s in the name with the connotations it provides. Honey implies sweetness, and the moon casts an imagery of beauty and romance.
But expectations tend not to be fulfilled.
You and your partner had everything planned: going to your dream destination, it was a smooth journey, didn’t forget anything, surrounded by wonderful people, culture, many things to do and plenty of time to complete them and rest… But those weeks were the worst weeks of your whole relationship.
The first night was okay, nothing exciting. You got to your place and had some spontaneous sex, but it didn’t quite hit the spot, you felt like you had to perform every moan, every whine, and every movement — but you just ignored that, thinking you were just tired from all the travelling. Then, you tried a second time, you felt zoned out and faked another orgasm, it wasn’t one of your proudest moments. The third time, you two just stopped in the middle of everything because neither of you “felt it”, cleaning yourselves up and rolling over to go to sleep. You two were newly weds, but it felt like being trapped in a loveless marriage of 30 years.
The sex just stopped altogether on that journey. You did most things separately, him going on retreats and you staying at the beach; the only times you were together was just before bed watching whatever show the hotel allowed on and dinner time. This wasn’t how things were supposed to be, but communication was a terrifying thing.
You two came back and were greeted with your house needing to have some renervations to be completed; you were lucky your partners father, Mr. Kennedy opened his home to you with no questions asked.
Mr. Kennedy was always lovely to you. You were terrified of meeting your partners father, but the moment you saw him all those fears melted away; he accepted you, supported and never made you feel unwelcome, he would even allow you to call him by his first name but you always felt uneasy and disrespectful.
You were now in a sea of thoughts about the honeymoon, analysing every moment and every bit of shared speech — but there was little speech to be focused on. Standing in the kitchen in a silky night dress that came to the midway of your thighs, distracting yourself with the coldest glass of water, the wet surrounding the glassy outlayer dampening your fingers as you stared out into the garden, surrounded by nothing but darkness and street lamps.
You were a wife. It was difficult to let that settle in, especially when the happiness of that wasn’t even short lived, it was non existent. It seemed like god was playing a cruel joke on you, punishing you for maybe picking the wrong person, or not trying hard enough. Whatever it was, you wanted it to stop.
As you kicked your head back to finish the last drops, feeling the cold wave pass down your throat you turned around to put the glass away, startled at your sight of Mr. Kennedy standing in the doorway.
Smash.
The sound of glass hitting the tiled floor filled the room, leaving you to hurriedly trying to pick everything up in a panic, Mr. Kennedy coming to your aid.
“I-I’m so sorry, sir, I didn’t mean to, you know I wouldn’t do this on purp… Ahh!” you felt a piece of sharp glass slide against your gentle and soft skin of your index finger, automatically shoving the tip of your finger into your mouth, feeling the metallic thick taste of blood coat your tastebuds.
“Shh, shh, it’s okay dear, go sit down I’ll clean this up,” you hesitated at first just followed suit with sitting at the dinning room table just a few steps away from him; guilt eating at you as you heard the clatter of glass as he swept it all up.
The moment all the glass was swept away and collected in the bin, he came over to you with those kind eyes, motioning with his hands to come take a look at your finger.
“Ooo, seems like a nasty cut,” he said with sympathy, reaching out to a box in the middle of the table and grabbing a band aid, before gently wrapping it around your finger, gently shushing you as you winced in pain.
“Thank you, Mr. Kennedy,” you smiled.
“You know it’s okay to call me Leon sweetheart,” you quickly apologised and rephrased your previous statement with the replacement of his last to his first name, “Why are you here, shouldn’t you be asleep, it’s quite late.”
“I could say the same thing to you… Leon.”
“Stop avoiding the question. What’s wrong? My son hasn’t hurt you has he?” a streak of protectiveness was shown.
“No. No. He’s been wonderful. Just… Just kinda getting used to the whole… being a wife thing,” the tone of your voice dropped in the last few words, you still couldn’t comprehend that you were a wife, especially with the lack of opportunity to feel like one.
“Trouble in paradise? You shouldn’t be having those thoughts, it’s too early for that.”
He wasn’t wrong.
“The honeymoon wasn’t exactly a honeymoon. We barely spent time together.” you felt him look at you differently, just then, feeling like his gaze was never going to sway and feeling like it was glued to your form, “anyways… thank you for helping me, I best get some sleep.”
As you were walking to your room, you were stopped with a rough hand grab your wrist. You never experienced this before with him. He never touched you like this; the only times he touched you was to hug you.
“Why don’t you stay… I could keep you company… Besides I can’t sleep anyways, I’m sure my son wouldn’t appreciate being awoken to you coming back to bed,” there was a small moment of feeling alarmed, just then, but that was easily and quickly diluted to how much trust you had in him.
You sat back down in your seat, feeling his gaze get stronger as the thin strap of your nightdress elegantly fell to the side; you didn’t think much of it and went to put it back in place, but Leon bet you to it. He leaned in and let his fingers tuck onto the band, placing it back on your shoulder and letting it linger there for a few moments before gliding down the soft skin of your arm — all you could do was blush at how close he was, and how touchy he was starting to become.
You should have turned him down right then; but you would be lying to yourself if you said you didn’t like him taking the freedom to get closer to you. All you could do was let out a soft giggle to ease the tension of unspoken words and exchanging glances between you two.
“I don’t know why he didn’t spend that much time with you. I wouldn’t leave your side,” your blush was getting intense, feeling how warm your face was and how your body was beginning to tremble with slight tremors due to his gaze.
“Thank you… I appreciate that… But I guess that’s what I have to get used to… besides married couples do tend to spent more time apart… or so I’ve heard.”
“Yes many do,” he took the invitation to have his hand place on your exposed thigh, roaming it up and down and slightly lifting your silky dress, so close it exposed your lack of underwear; Leon looked at your cunt with hunger as he felt his cock grow with looks and fantasies building from just imagining to fill that pretty pussy of yours, to give you everything he wanted to over the years. You sat there for a moment, wanting him to just take you, to smash your body against the table and feel him fuck you hard — but you were a wife.
You slowly pulled down the hem of your dress, looking away and not wanting to greet that blue eyed gaze that was already undressing you with suggesting staring.
“You know, the couples that do stray away from one another do it for a reason,” his hand ventured further and you could feel his fingers just hoovering around your pulsating heat, “sometimes that distance helps people find the one they need. It starts with just one night, then another, and then they find the right person.”
He wanted you. God he fucking needed to feel you, to hold you, to hear you, he wanted that for years and now he was taking the chance.
“… I’m not a bad person… This is wrong,” morality and sexual wanting was fighting in your brain, you needed a sweet release but knew betraying your husband was despicable, how would you feel if he laid with another ?
“You can’t deny that you want me… Is it so bad to indulge in a natural instinct, after all marriage for love is a new conception… The human body knows what it wants,” his voice was thick and smooth like honey, it enticed you with temptation running its course through each and every word and action Leon gave to you.
“And we live in a world where the conception is practiced. I married your son… I made vows that man, I signed the papers,” you tried to argue.
“Marriage is just a piece of paper, sweetheart… And right now, you can’t deny we both want to rip that paper up as much as I want to rip that dress from off of you,” he was leaning even closer.
“Will you… Will you keep it a secret?” if you were going to indulge in immorality you needed to cover your tracks.
“I’ll keep it a secret. I won’t tell anything you don’t say first. Now let me see if my fantasies come close to reality.”
Just then you felt a heat pool in every corner inside your body, feeling that urge and letting it make you lunge right into his arms, and letting him kiss you has hard as he wanted, feeling your lips collide with each interlock as your tongues glided against one another’s as he roamed his hands along your body as if he was your actual husband. You quietly moaned as his grabbed the fat of your ass, leaving an imprint of his hand the harder he squeezed it.
“Mmm,” you moaned continuously within that deepening kiss that made your core get hotter and needier, you felt Leon grow against you as he finally pulled the straps of your dress and tugged the material harshly, leaving the straps to snap off, and leaving you fully exposed under his scrutiny and the cold bite of the air surrounding you both.
“Fuck. You look even better than I imagined,” he cooed in your ear as he let his large and calloused hand grab your prominent breast, making you yelp at his touch, having him grab harder and with purpose the more he kissed you, and left bites on your lower lip.
“Oh god,” you groaned as you tossed your head back the moment he let his thumb and index finger trap your pebbled nipple and pinch it, rolling the bud along his fingers as he left you panting. “L-Leon,” you let out a whispered hush, just before he pushed his lower half into you and made you collapse on the table, leaving you to sit and wait for his next move.
You watched as he stripped himself and exposed his strong phsique, getting you even wetter as he frayed his hands by his waist and pulled down his pants, exposing his large and erect member that was tinted with a blush of red and wet with precum, waiting to come inside your entrance. You bit your lip as he started to stroke along the shaft, pumping himself before meeting the tip of his cock in your wet folds; you whimpered with just his slight touch, you wanted needed him. You felt yourself grow more impatient the more he slid along the folds that left a slick on his cock, leaving him to play at smirk at the corner of his lips to himself.
He finally had you.
“Do you want me?” he whispered in your ear.
“Of course I do.”
“You would have made a great wife for me,” he uttered as he slowly pressed his length inside you, releasing a laboured and long breath as he felt your wet walls surround him, feeling you clasp around him and beg to make you his. “Fuck, you feel amazing,” he hissed.
You let your body go and feel every single thrust Leon pumped into you, hearing his gutteral groans and dirty whispers in your ear everytime he pushed his large, throbbing cock inside and hit that perfect spot just right. You press your mouth against his shoulder, trying so hard not to let out your moans and wake your real husband up.
“God, all I want is to hear that pretty mouth scream my name,” he uttered.
“He’s g-gone tomorrow.”
He raised an eyebrow out of interest: “Oh, I thought this was a one time thing,” he slowly released as he continued to thrust himself in your aching pussy, his fingers pressed into your hips as he forced himself inside.
“I need you so much more.”
You saw a glimmer cross his blue eyes, a darkening clouding his vision just before he smashed his lips against yours, groaning into your mouth as he rocks his hips back and forth, picking up the pace to fuck that pretty pussy of yours.
He thumbs your puffy clit as he continues to fuck and drill into your cunt, jabbing that sweet spot over and over again.
“I want you to cum on me, I want to see your face as you do it,” he moans as he continues to maintain the pace with bucking his hips forward and circling your sensitive bud, making your breathing depending and elongating every time he messes with you.
You reach your peak with his masterful movements, letting out pants as you cover his cock with your release; shuddering, you not long after feel his nails dig into your back, lightly scratching and making you wince, as he releases streams of hot cum inside you, making your eyes roll back to your head as you feel him pump his seed further into you and make you his.
“You’re mine now, sweetheart.”
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a/n: when i posted this on my wips post (in pinned post) i saw excitement to the father in law leon so i just had to post it. i will say ik it’s a little rushed but i wanted to get it out a bit quicker, i might also write some more father in law stuff, we’ll see. i hope you lot like this and all engagement is appreciated *kiss kiss*
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sundrop-writes · 3 months
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Figure It Out
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A Criminal Minds Casefic
“All things are subject to interpretation. Whichever interpretation prevails at a given time is a function of power and not truth.” -Friedrich Nietzsche 
Summary:
Since you joined the BAU, you have been keeping a terrible secret from the team.
When the team takes a case in your hometown - your festering secret comes to be known with a vengeance.
Fem!Reader x Gen!BAU Team (Platonic). General Casefic, modelled after a Criminal Minds episode. Angst, Mystery, Hurt and Comfort. Set during Criminal Minds Season 3.
Word Count: 18,000
Criminal Minds Masterlist | AO3 Link
Detailed Warnings and author's notes below the cut.
Warnings: this is a general casefic - there is no romantic pairings in this fic, it is more about the mystery of the case and how the reader character fits into it (if this were a real Criminal Minds episode, this would be the episode named after the reader) - with that being said, the main relationship focuses are between Emily and the reader and Spencer and the reader (because I am biased and I love them) but there isn’t any romantic threads or romantic tones, it is all platonic; the reader character uses she/her pronouns and is described as a woman, but I went out of my way to make sure that there is no descriptions of the readers looks or body type; there is use of Y/N and L/N (as in Last Name); mentions of the reader being from Georgia (because the case takes place in her hometown); smoking/cigarettes - mentions of the reader character smoking tobacco; mentions of the reader character being injured (severely in a past incident, and minor injuries during the course of the fic); mentions of vomit/mentions of the reader character throwing up; lots of warnings for general Criminal Minds topics; murder, killing, somewhat graphic descriptions of dead bodies, violence, guns/gun violence, mentions of rape and sexual violence, mentions of systematic violence towards women; there is no graphic depictions of rape/no rape scenes in the fic, but there is mentions of the event of rape happening to certain characters, references to rape culture, and the shame/guilt/self blame a rape victim feels; mentions of stalking/stalking behaviors - including the delusion mindset of a stalker, obsessiveness, sending someone unwanted letters, mentions of a ‘one sided’ relationship; mentions of trauma/PTSD; descriptions of symptoms of PTSD; themes surrounding the cycle of violence; I did kind of purposefully make the warnings a bit more vague than I usually do, because I really don’t want to spoil the plot of this fic. But as lot as you are okay with the maturity of all these themes, you should be okay with this fic!!
A/N: This is pretty much 100% inspired by the music video for Figure It Out by Royal Blood - which the fic is named after. I highly recommend watching the music video, because it is fucking art in my opinion, but I have taken such heavy inspiration from it in terms of the style, tone, and even storyline - so the music video kind of spoils this fic. So probably watch it after you read the fic lmao. I also feel like the instrumental version of the song goes very well with this fic. This fic is not at all typical and I am terrified that people won't like it, or that they won't 'get it'. But I am very proud of it, so I am going to put it out there and hope that people enjoy it. So - please enjoy!! I really love writing Criminal Minds casefics and coming up with the details of a case, and writing it in this style was so, so exciting and interesting for me, and I really do hope that you can enjoy reading it.
...
“All things are subject to interpretation. Whichever interpretation prevails at a given time is a function of power and not truth.”
-Friedrich Nietzsche 
...
Thursday, August 16th, 2007. Madison Police Department, Interrogation Room #1 - Madison, GA. 3:39AM.
The chilled air of the interrogation room only made the regret more palpable in your lungs. 
The hum of the fluorescents overhead made you feel like a bug about to be zapped - like your entire life was over and you would soon be resigned to a cage. 
You hated it, but you had to wonder what you would have done if you had ten more minutes. Ten more minutes before they had arrived, sirens screeching, lights flashing. Your mind kept replaying the moments over and over again. The knife had felt so perfect in your hand. 
Ten more minutes. 
“I just want to talk.” 
So caught up in your thoughts, your mind so foggy from the hectic night - you had almost forgotten that there was someone sitting in front of you. 
He looked so entirely stiff - wearing his cookie cutter suit and his carved-in scowl. He did nothing to shift your mood. 
“This is just a conversation. Nothing more.” 
He continued on, using a monotone, would-be soothing voice when you didn’t say anything. 
The metal chair felt stiffer underneath you, and you felt further suffocated within that small, concrete box. 
You felt inclined to call it an interrogation, but you wouldn’t be so quick to tell him that. It’s not like you were going to tell him what he wanted to hear. 
“You can smoke in here if that makes you feel more comfortable.” He added on, pushing something from the middle of the table toward you. 
A pack of cigarettes and a lighter. There was also an ashtray. A collection of things that someone had put there, knowing that you would be resigned to this tiny, tiny room. 
“You don’t have to treat me with kid gloves, Hotch.” You huffed, saying his name, using the same technique that he would likely be using on you. You could mirror him, get ahead on the mind games. “I’m not as crazy and detached from reality as you think I am.” 
Perhaps that was a false statement. You weren’t even sure how crazy he thought you were. Perhaps, that in itself made you detached from reality. You couldn’t be sure. 
Nonetheless, you took him up on the offer. You reached out and eagerly picked up the pack of smokes, ripping off the outer plastic before you took one out, shoving the tip between your lips and lighting it up. 
You took a heavy draw, and the nicotine throbbed through you. Seemingly adding to the headache you already had from the large gash on your forehead that they had hastily bandaged before bringing you in here, rather than relieving it. Still, you sucked on the cigarette like it was your only lifeline - taking a moment to tap some of the ash into the small ashtray while you stared at Hotch carefully. 
You wondered if you should really tell him all the gory details. 
“Just tell me what happened. Tell me your side of the story.” Hotch said, trying his best to sound warm and convincing. It didn’t work. “I’m just trying to figure it out. Just like you are.” 
Perhaps your biggest regret was that you were here, cooped up in this hole - and he was in the hospital somewhere, laying in a soft bed, being attended to by nurses, being comforted. The fact that he was still breathing - even with the assistance of a tube down his throat, and not in a body bag.
“You’ll never look at me the same if I do tell you.” You managed to find these words, and these words only. Ominous, almost threatening - more so than you intended. 
“I won’t.” He returned. Shallow, fallible. 
Suddenly, a crash from the hallway broke the tense silence that was brewing between the two of you. The door was thick, but it wasn’t enough to disguise the ruckus coming from outside. 
“No! No! You have to let me through! I have to be in there!” 
The voice was familiar, but that tone of desperation certainly was not. 
“Reid, he specifically told us to sit this one out-” 
“Sit this one out?!” Reid repeated the words back, his voice warping with pure shock, the inability to conceptualize such a thing. “You expect me to just sit out?” He scoffed. “If it wasn’t for me, two more people would be dead, and there wouldn’t even be a ‘this one’! Now let. Me. Through.” 
“Reid-” 
With all his bolstering stubbornness, he shoved past whoever had been trying to stop him, and as you took another heavy puff off your cigarette, the interrogation room door came flying open. 
Hotch stood up, rushing to block the door, but you smiled. Though you were numb from the day’s events - it was your natural instinct upon seeing him. 
“Reid-” Hotch choked out, trying to block the gangly man from even entering the room. 
“Good evening, Doctor Reid.” You greeted him gently. 
Upon seeing your reaction - so much more open and warm - Hotch allowed him in. This was the wedge that he needed to pry you open. Reid closed the door behind himself with an indigent huff and a glare toward his superior. 
Reid crossed his arms, hovering near the door as he turned his stiff-jawed glare toward you now. Your cigarette turned to a hot cherry in your hands - sucked to death already, and you stubbed it out in the tray before starting a new one. You knew chain-smoking was an even filthier habit than the occasional ciggy, but you had one hell of a day under your belt. If there was ever a time, it was now. 
“What the hell is wrong with you?” Reid asked, his voice stiff and oppositional. 
“Oh, so many things.” You said, your tone clever and unphased. Hotch let out a sigh as he sat back down in his chair. He was glad that you were talking openly now, at least. “Shall we go in alphabetical order, or start at my birth and work or way back from there?” 
Reid let out another nasal thick sound. Apparently, he wasn’t in the mood for banter. 
You were met with nothing but a stony wall of silence, and cold glares of disapproval. It almost made you feel guilty. Almost. 
“Let’s start with this,” Reid corrected you. “Why?” 
Truthfully, you couldn’t give him that answer. You didn’t think you would ever have enough time to conjure it up within yourself. 
“You’re the genius profiler, Doctor Reid.” You fired back coldly. “You tell me.” 
… 
Thursday, August 16th, 2007. Abandoned Country House - Madison, GA. 2:20AM.
Prentiss led the team as they searched through the house. It was the only solid lead they had as to where you might be. It was a house that your parents used to own - a place of significance because you had lived there the summer when it first happened. 
“Clear!” 
She went through the living room, the kitchen, the entire first floor, leading the team with Reid at her side, guns drawn. 
“Clear!” 
As she crested the top of the stairs, she heard sobbing. 
It was distinct - something that tugged harshly on her heartstrings. 
Even though it was against protocol not to clear the rooms in order, she rushed toward it. Reid continued to flank her - obviously he had heard the noise too. 
Prentiss landed a sharp kick on the door’s handle, causing it to fling open. 
The picture on display in front of her almost caused her to drop her gun. 
Hotch had been right. 
You were on top of the man, straddling him. Both you and the man were badly beaten - but right off the bat, Prentiss could tell that he was far worse off. Clearly, you had bested him in the fight this time. 
The contents of the room strewn about; broken glass, busted furniture, the curtain rod torn down. It looked like the remnants of a bad WWE brawl. You were the picture of desperation - heavy, hot tears coming from your eyes, blood smearing down your face from a gash on your forehead as you stared down the man beneath you with fiery madness in your eyes. 
You had a knife to his throat. A large hunting knife - the same kind that all the other victims had been stabbed with. 
You had the tip of it poised to his throat, just barely touching his skin. If you put any amount of pressure on the blade - if you bared down, then you would slice right through his esophagus. It would take almost no effort from you at all to end his life. 
From what Prentiss could see, the man was unconscious. He was completely slack, his body still on the ground. He was bleeding from a small head wound. His life was entirely in your hands. He couldn’t fight back. 
Both your hands shook vigorously as you struggled with the warring inside of you, as you struggled with the weight of the confrontation with your life’s biggest monster. 
Though it went against everything inside of her, Emily kept her gun raised. She kept her arms stiff, keeping her gun pointed at you. As much as she detested that man, knowing what he had done - it was her job to shoot you if you tried to kill him. Right now, she hated that job. 
“Put the knife down!” Prentiss ordered sharply. 
You didn’t move. 
Naturally, Reid, in all of his softness and empathy, slackened his arms and holstered his gun before anyone could blink. 
“Come on, put it down.” She tried again. 
You ignored Prentiss entirely, your hands still shaking, making no moves to lift the knife away from the man’s throat. 
Reid moved to step into the room, and from his view at the top of the stairs, arms stiff and gun pointed in your general direction - Hotch called out to him. 
“Reid-!” He tried to warn Reid against doing this. Of course, he didn’t listen. 
Reid knelt down beside you, posturing in surrender with his arms. Of course, he wasn’t even on your radar at the moment. Your entire gaze, your entire focus was on the unconscious man underneath you - the true target of your agony. 
“Y/N,” Reid said your name calmly, trying to capture your attention. “You don’t have to do this.” 
You hesitated for a moment, and Prentiss worried that even his gentle voice wouldn’t be able to get through to you. 
“I have to.” You sobbed out. More heavy tears slid down your face, and you began to shake more visibly, shockwaves moving throughout your entire body. 
“You don’t have to.” Reid told you, his voice calming, gentle. “You - you can give me the knife, and then we can just… walk away. And then it all ends.” 
“It won’t just end!” You screamed out, your voice a curtling weep that bounced off the walls. 
It made Prentiss’ heart jump inside of her chest. If it wasn’t protocol, she would have dropped her gun and run over to comfort you with a hug. But she knew that you weren’t in the most stable place. You might have tried to stab her with the knife. 
“It can end.” Reid assured you calmly. “You just have to come with me. You just have to put the knife down and-” 
“I have to make it stop!” You screamed, trampling over his quiet voice. “I killed those women. I killed them!” 
“Prentiss!” Hotch edged in, warning her. 
If you didn’t move off of the unconscious man soon, then she would have to take you down. 
“Just give him a minute!” Prentiss fired back. She had faith in Reid. 
“We both know that’s not true.” Reid told you. “You didn’t kill them. You didn’t mean for this to happen-” 
“He killed them because of me!” You shouted, cutting him off. “We both know it’s my fault.” 
“It’s not.” Reid choked out. “Please don’t say that.” 
There was a gutting silence. 
“Please, just give me the knife.” 
At this point he was doing some pleading of his own - but your hands were unsteady and you still refused to look at him. 
You weren’t going to give up the fight that easily. 
… 
Thursday, August 16th, 2007. Somewhere On The Country Backroads - Madison, GA. 2:11AM.
“I want two squad cars down the road, I want state police cutting off all the possible exits to the major highways.” Agent Hotchner was on the scene, doing what he did best - giving orders. “I want to cut off any chance of possible escape incase the suspect tries to flee-” 
“Hotch, do you really think that’s necessary?” Morgan asked. “We’ve got the house. Thermal cam’s got two bodies on the second floor. There’s nowhere to run from here. We’ve got spike strips on all the dirt roads. No car is getting past any of that. It should function as a hard extraction from here.” 
Hotch glared at Morgan as he fastened the straps on his bulletproof vest. The glare of the red and blue lights from the squad cars only made the deep frown lines on his face look firmer. 
“I am not taking any chances.” Hotch said. “We both know this is an incredibly delicate matter. We found one of the victims across state lines. We know this suspect has mobility. I’m not risking finding another body.” 
The air became tense as everyone realized what he meant by ‘another body’. 
“I want tactical swat to go in first-” Hotch began, and was quickly cut off by Morgan. 
“You’re sending in swat when there’s a hostage in there?” Morgan questioned harshly. 
“Even if we go in there blazing, showing force, she might not come in quietly.” Hotch explained.
“You’re serious?” Prentiss replied, hooking the wire of her earpiece around her ear in order to tuck the mic in. “She’s the one you’re worried about? She’s a victim in all this.” 
“You saw the incident report.” Hotch reminded her. “The amount of defensive wounds she had… the first time he attacked her, she fought back hard. She’s desperate, she’s feeling cornered, she-” 
“She’s terrified right now.” Prentiss pressed harshly. “She doesn’t need a bunch of men going in there waving guns in her face.” 
“She could sacrifice him.” Hotch theorized, further trying to prove his point. “This could be her chance to finally get justice. Finally getting rid of the man who’s tormented her for all these years.”
“So we have to bring them both in. Quietly.” Morgan said. “We can’t just go in there shooting. If your theory is correct, then she could use him as a human shield.” 
Hotch nodded. “Fine. No tactical swat. Prentiss, you take the lead.” 
“Yeah, and I’m taking Reid with me.” Prentiss told him sharply. “Somebody with a little compassion around here.” 
Prentiss nodded and scoffed, walking past Hotch, gently whispering ‘what the hell is wrong with you’ on her way to get in the car with Reid. 
… 
Thursday, August 16th, 2007. Madison Police Department - Madison, GA. 1:45AM.
When JJ let out a harsh sigh, Emily turned to her, swiveling in the borrowed office chair with a creak. 
“What is it?” Emily asked. 
“Don’t you feel that?” JJ replied. Emily shrugged, waiting a moment for her to finish the thought. “That… overwhelming feeling of dread?” 
Of course, it was obvious. No leads. No breaks in the case. 
It was hopeless. 
“Come on, I thought you were the hopeful one.” Rossi pointed out, tossing his empty paper coffee cup into a nearby trash can. 
“How can I be hopeful when one of my best friends is caught up in all this?” JJ fired back. “If she-” 
Before she could finish that thought, Reid stormed in, capturing everyone’s attention. 
“Guys, I think we got the profile all wrong.” He announced, a look of worry knit into his features. “And - if I’m right, then I think I know where she is.” 
… 
Thursday, August 16th, 2007. Abandoned Country House - Madison, GA. 1:45AM.
You knew that it was cruel, but you couldn’t help but to enjoy his groans of pain. 
There had been so many others - so many monsters to take down. So many men that you had gotten rid of without a second thought. Men you had put bullets in that didn’t mean as much to you as this. So many others you had easily forgotten about. But he had taunted your soul in a special way. And you knew that you were enjoying this too much. 
“Tell me you like it!” 
You screamed, taking another downward swing with the piece of wood - a leg broken off from the chair he had bound you to. He had been convinced that you wouldn’t break free. Laughable. He should have known better.  
When he didn’t respond, you took another swing. 
You could have stopped. You could have ended it. But you didn’t. 
“Come on, tell me you like it!” 
You screamed in his face, sputtering blood across him. At one point, he had punched you in the mouth. You weren’t exactly sure where the blood was coming from. You didn’t exactly care.
That would be your excuse.  
He had hit you too. You were battered. You were just a fragile woman, after all. 
“You’re a fuckin’ crazy bitch.” He coughed, sputtering out some blood himself. “I… I always liked that about you. It was one of the reasons I fell in love.” 
He grinned - bright red spread out across his teeth, and it gave you the intense desire to see those teeth missing. To make him swallow them. 
“You don’t love me.” You told him firmly. “You just get an adrenaline rush from being around me because I’m not afraid of you.” You explained. “Unlike the other whores, I fight.” 
While you were preoccupied with the words, he flipped onto his stomach and began crawling across the floor. 
He thought you were too stupid to notice, but he was inching his way toward the hunting knife that had been thrown out of his hand during the scuffle. It was a slow, sluggish crawl. You had broken a few of his ribs, his kneecap. It was nice to see him so slow. You had probably severely damaged his internal organs with how hard you had been beating him with the makeshift baton. 
It was worse than last time. You stood above him like a menace - watching and waiting. You hated that you knew you would take an odd kind of joy in removing his hope when you stole the knife from his grip. 
Just as he grazed his fingers across it, you brought another harsh swing down across his achilles tendon, causing him to scream out in pain. 
You still had a lot of strength left in you. He was tiring out. 
He was losing the game. 
“Come on baby, tell me how you like it.” You continued to mock him. “Tell me how good I am.” 
“Fuck you.” He moaned out. 
You felt satisfaction bloom inside of you - those were the words. 
He had finally given up hope. He had finally realized that maybe: he wasn’t going to beat you. Maybe he wasn’t above you on the playing field anymore. He was fucking around with a fellow predator, not toying with his prey.  
“Oh baby. You know I’m only doing this because I love you.” You said, repeating his own words back to him in a cruel mockery. 
That was when he realized: this wasn’t just a lover’s spat. This was a culling. 
… 
Thursday, August 16th, 2007. Just Outside of Madison Police Department - Madison, GA. 1:04AM.
Reid needed some air. 
Working on the case so diligently, not coming up with any leads. It was intensely difficult. Letting the balmy summer Southern air flow over him, getting a good gulp of the fresh air into his lungs - it was a bit more awakening than drinking his sixth cup of coffee for that day. 
He was surprised when he rounded a corner, trying to go for a short walk to stretch his legs, and he saw a very recognizable face hovering near a gray Honda. 
“Mrs. L/N?” He posed, approaching her gently. “It’s late. What are you doing here?”
JJ had promised to call her if there were any updates. Reid didn’t want to disappoint her by telling her that there were none. 
“It’s Miss L/N.” She said quietly. “I never married.” 
Reid nodded at this. “My apologies.” 
She looked deeply troubled. 
Reid waited patiently for her to reply to his initial question - for her to tell him whatever was burdening her. If he was lucky, it could help with the case. It was always the families who could help put those final puzzle pieces into place. That was something Gideon taught him, so he took it as sacred advice. 
“You’re Doctor Reid, aren’t you?” She posed, stepping forward to approach him slightly - still stiff, still stand-off-ish. He easily understood why. He nodded in response. “My daughter speaks very fondly of you.” 
Reid cracked a small smile at this. 
His attention was then brought to a small box - a shoe box as she held it out to him. 
“I don’t mean to bother you at this late hour, but… you said to let you know if I thought of anything that might help you.” She reminded him. He nodded again. “And I - well, the reason I didn’t bring these up the first time… you can understand that I have a need to protect my daughter?” 
“Of course.” He affirmed. “It’s every parent’s natural instinct to protect their child.” 
She looked solemn at his words. 
“I had no idea that… that what happened to her could potentially be connected to these… these murders in any possible way.” She told him, shuddering as the word passed through her lips. “I was just trying to shield her, you have to understand.” 
She handed him the shoebox, and when he took it and lifted off the lid, it took him only a moment to understand. He would need to find a quiet place to fully inspect the contents, but it was all being pieced together in his mind now. 
“Thank you for bringing me this.” He told her quietly. 
“Doctor Reid, you have to promise me that you’ll bring my daughter home unharmed.” She said, tears coming to her eyes. “She’s a good girl. Please, just bring her home.” 
Unfortunately, he couldn’t promise her that. Not under the circumstances. 
“Ma’am… I will try my best. That is all I can promise you.” He told her. 
She nodded in quiet understanding before Reid turned and marched back inside. 
… 
Wednesday, August 15th, 2007. Abandoned Country House - Madison, GA. 11:03PM.
The flint of the lighter flicking seemed to be the loudest thing in the room in that moment - even with the low hum of the eleven o’clock news playing in the background. 
It was so odd. Everything was exactly like you remembered it. Withered - but the same. 
Even the chair you were sitting in. The old wooden chair that had been lugged up from the kitchen, one that you used to sit in for hours and do homework - it was rickety, but somehow the same. 
You took a sharp drag off the cigarette after it was lit for you, continuing to listen to the feminine voice on the radio as the news played. 
“I’m Special Agent Jennifer Jareau, and I’m speaking on behalf of the Madison Police Department. Tonight, we are making an urgent appeal to the public for information. Earlier this evening, a woman went missing in the area of-” 
“I never took you for a smoker.” He said, his voice sharp and confident in the words. 
You tapped your cigarette into the ashtray with your free hand before raising it up to your lips to take another drag. Right now, the smoke heavy in your lungs was the only thing keeping you sane. 
“I never smelled it on you back then.” He added on when you didn’t respond to him. “Bitches who smoke always smell like dirtbags. You just… smelled nice.” 
“I didn’t smoke back then.” You quietly replied. 
He had driven you to take up the habit. 
You took another drag of your cigarette - you wanted to enjoy it. The longer you could drag it out, literally, the longer you could delay the inevitable. 
“-The suspect was last seen driving a blue and white, 1970s Ford truck. If you see the vehicle, please-” 
“They’re lookin’ for ya.” He said casually, nodding toward the radio. 
You wished they weren’t. 
You directed the conversation elsewhere. 
“Tell me how this is gonna end.” You urged him quietly, ashing your cigarette again. 
“You and I both know… this was only ever gonna end one way.” He told you, his voice irritably cocky. 
He had you now. He had won. 
“-We believe that this abduction is connected to a string of recent murders in the area. It is critical that if you have any information, you call our tip line at-” 
He rose from his spot then, and turned off the radio. 
The silence was gutting. 
He moved toward the door, but you abruptly caught his attention. 
“Remember,” You told him. “You made me a promise.” You said quietly. “No more. No more girls.” 
He chuckled at this. “Of course, darlin’. No more.” 
It felt like a lie. 
“But only because I love you.” He gave a filthy grin along with these words, and your insides shuddered. 
You knew that he wasn’t actually capable of love. You had known that from the moment you first laid eyes on him. 
You didn’t bother to muster any words in return. 
He crossed the room back toward you and leaned down, planting a kiss on your forehead. Your body stiffened, entirely stony toward it. It was selfish on his part - loving on you like a doll, rather than trying to bring you any comfort. 
He moved back to the door silently. 
You worried about what would happen the moment he went out the door. He turned to you just before he left. 
“Don’t run off now.” He said with a wink. Ego. Sarcasm. 
“Where am I gonna go, Dan?” You sighed. 
You lifted your tethered hand up to drive the point home, and the clink of handcuffs was now apparent in the otherwise silent room. 
He shut the door with a chuckle. You put out your cigarette in the ashtray, reaching for the loose spoke in the back of the chair. This was a chair that you used to sit in for hours while studying. That loose spoke used to bug you all the time. 
It came free after only a few tugs. 
… 
Wednesday, August 15th, 2007. QuitTrip (Corner Store) - Madison, GA. 10:24PM.
The previously dark parking lot of the secluded, back country convenience store was now entirely lit up with red and blue. Four police cars had crowded into the area, surrounding the place where you had last been seen. 
Inside, under the harsh white fluorescent lights of the store, Hotchner and Prentiss were interviewing the store clerk - a young man who had supposedly been the last person to speak to you before the abduction. 
“So, you’re sure that you didn’t see anything?” Hotch pressed the young man - someone who seemed so entirely nervous under his harsh, unmoving gaze. 
“I swear, man, I didn’t see anything.” He said, his voice cracking slightly as he spoke. “She was parked in the back of the parking lot, and once you walk around the corner, there’s no way to see someone through the doors. It’s like - like a total blind spot, man.” 
“The UnSub had to have known that.” Hotch noted quietly, turning to Prentiss. “He approached her knowing that he wouldn’t be seen.” 
“Do you think he was waiting out there?” Prentiss wondered aloud. 
Then she turned back to the clerk. 
“Was there a man in here before she came in? He would have been in his 30s. Very cold, he wouldn’t have said anything. Just paid quietly and left. He might not have even bought anything - he might have just walked around, checking the blind spots. And if you asked him what he was looking for, he would have given you a glare rather than speaking. This man is not sociable. He’s very distant. He likely wouldn’t have looked you in the eye.” 
The clerk shook his head. 
“No, nobody like that.” He explained. “That lady - she was my first customer in, like, hours. She just bought her ciggies and left. And I thought it was weird cause she bought a lighter too. Most smokers already have a lighter on them.” 
“I didn’t know Y/N smoked.” Prentiss said quietly. 
“Me either.” Hotch confirmed. 
Hotch’s attention was captured by a screen behind the counter - surveillance feed, showing several different places inside the store. There was one camera just outside the door. If he wasn’t mistaken, that camera was pointed at that ‘blind spot’ in the parking lot. 
Without asking permission, he raised the partition and walked around the counter, his eyes hyper-focused on the screen. 
“Can you get me this footage from a few hours ago?” He prompted toward the clerk. “The view of the parking lot. We need to see what L/N did after she left the store.” 
The clerk nodded and began typing things onto the keyboard, and Hotch prompted him to stop when he saw you appear on the footage. Prentiss came around the counter as well, leaving the three of them crowded in close to the small screen as they watched the past version of you. 
You walked across the parking lot - toward your car, a cigarette hanging out of your mouth. You were making determined steps - until something stopped you. 
“The UnSub caught her attention.” Prentiss noted. 
Then - something entirely strange happened. While staring at the man off screen, you leaned against your car, and began ashing your cigarette, as if chatting idly with him. 
“He’s not using force.” Hotch thought aloud. “Do you think he’s got a gun trained on her?” 
“Maybe.” Prentiss hummed quietly. 
He was out of the frame, so it was only a guess. 
Then, after a few moments of this - you simply walked off. You walked in the direction he had been standing. 
“Did - did she just go with him willingly?” Prentiss gaped, entirely in shock. 
When she glanced over her shoulder, Hotch was gone. 
He stormed out into the parking lot, frantically gazing around. Prentiss followed him, chasing his chaotic energy. 
“Hotch!” She called out. “Hotch-!” 
“We need more camera angles! We need-” 
“Calm down.” She urged, grabbing him by the shoulders. 
“It just doesn’t make any sense.” He rasped. “Why would she go with him willingly? Why - why? Why would she?” He was frantic. “He must have threatened her. He must have-” 
They both didn’t want to think of the obvious. 
That you didn’t fear him. That - it hadn’t even been an abduction. 
“He must have threatened her.” Prentiss easily agreed. “She wouldn’t have gone with him otherwise.” 
They didn’t bring up the fact that you had a gun and plenty of training on how to use it. They didn’t bring up the fact that the profile said the UnSub couldn’t easily charm - he would have kidnapped you by force. 
Unless you were special. Unless he thought he could talk to you specifically for some reason. 
“Guys, what’s the news?” JJ asked, finally walking onto the scene. 
She hated the grave looks on Prentiss and Hotch’s faces. 
“I want you to put a press conference together.” Hotch said, straightening himself out and turning to her. “Make an appeal for witnesses. Tell them that there’s been a woman abducted in the area, but don’t tell them that L/N a Federal Agent. It could set the UnSub off if he believes that this abduction is being treated with a higher priority. If he feels a higher pressure from law enforcement, he might-” 
“Right.” JJ nodded. Hotch didn’t need to say the words in order for her to understand. “So: release her name and her photo, but act like she’s just a regular civilian?” 
Hotch nodded. “Exactly.” 
“If I get going now, I think I could still make the eleven o’clock news.” JJ said, rushing off with her cell pressed to her ear. 
“Let’s just hope that it brings Y/N home safely.” 
Wednesday, August 15th, 2007. QuitTrip (Corner Store) - Madison, GA. 8:03PM.
You felt an odd amount of relief having nicotine in your system again. 
This was the first time you had smoked a cigarette in years. You had quit the habit shortly after you joined the FBI Academy when one of your advisers warned you that it might cause you to fail the fitness test. And you felt like you should just knock the habit, seeing as the only reason you had taken it up was because of… him. 
But - all of this was so triggering. Being back in your same small shitty town. Feeling it suffocating you like a plastic bag. 
The murders. 
You sucked on the cigarette for dear life as you walked back to your car, and just as you were about to get in - the windows of the car open, inviting in the sweet summer air, the keys still inside because you did feel an odd amount of trust in your hometown - something captured your attention. 
“Y/N.” 
Hearing your name in that voice made you freeze on the spot. The warm breeze felt like ice against your skin as you took your hand off the door handle, turning toward him. 
“You’re lookin’ gorgeous as ever, darlin’.” 
“You.” You ground out the word with as much disdain as possible, hot rage boiling in your blood as you looked at him. “I should have known it was you.” 
He let out a sharp chuckle - a sound that made your throat tighten up. He flicked his tongue out across his teeth, grinning his terrible Cheshire grin at you. 
A hand instinctively went for your gun, and your palm hit an empty section of your belt. He let out another sharp chuckle when his eyes followed yours, making the same realization that you did. 
You had left it sitting on the passenger’s seat of the car. Right beside your phone. 
You wondered if you could dive through the open window before he could get to you. When he made a posturing move, brushing his unbuttoned plaid shirt away and revealing the gun he had strapped to his belt underneath - you realized he would shoot you if you moved too quickly. 
You were stuck. 
“Of course it’s me, baby.” He said, casually replying to your earlier words. “You had to know that I did all this for you. For us.” 
Giving into your fate, you propped yourself against the side of the car - trying desperately to steady your wobbling legs without making it look like you were doing so. You tapped your cigarette, spilling some of the ash before you brought it to your lips once again. 
“I missed you like hell.” He told you with a snakeskin grin. 
“I didn’t miss you.” You bitterly fired back. “Not for a fucking second.” 
“Guess I made it difficult to miss me, huh?” He said, cocky as ever. “With my frequent correspondence and all?” 
“You know what I meant.” You fired back.
You glared at him sharply but didn’t say anything more, afraid that he would whip the gun out and shoot you. 
He sucked in a breath through his teeth, something that sounded utterly sarcastic. 
“Ooh, darlin’ that’s harsh.” He said. “That would almost hurt. If I didn’t know the truth.” 
You wanted to argue. You took in another large drag to help hold your tongue. You knew the results of arguing with him - it wasn’t worth it. 
“So… I think you know how this goes.” He announced. “You can come with me now. Or… I can go get another girl.” 
“No more girls.” You told him. “I’m here now. You won. Whatever business you have - it’s with me.” 
You stamped out your cigarette as you walked toward him, and your phone began to ring on the front seat as his truck rumbled to life and pulled out of the parking lot. 
… 
Wednesday, August 15th, 2007. Madison Police Department - Madison, GA. 7:26PM.
“Hello! Everyone, listen up.” Hotch called everyone to attention as the local police continued to filter in, most of them standing around with cups of coffee in hand or notebooks out, ready to take notes. “We’re ready to give the profile.” 
“Yes, and please keep in mind that this is just a general set of guidelines describing the suspect.” Rossi said. “This is not a concrete list of things you should be looking for. A profile is more useful in the elimination of suspects, rather than the inclusion of them.” 
He then turned to Derek, who began reciting the profile that the team had put together so far. 
“This UnSub, or Unknown Subject, is most likely a white male in his thirties to forties.” Morgan explained. “He drives an American made vehicle, something large enough to conceal and transport victims, and something that has off-road capability in order to get to the more secluded areas where some of the bodies were found. So think trucks, heavy duty vans, anything with thick treads on the tires and a large payload. And his vehicle will most likely be in a more discreet color. This guy won’t be driving around in something flashy. He’ll be in something that blends into the background, like a beige or black truck.” 
“So what?” One of the local cops piped up. “We put out an APB for every single heavy duty black truck in the area? This is the south, do you have any idea how many people around here drive a truck? Especially ones driven by men in their forties.” 
“There’s more.” Hotch noted, looking toward you. 
“This UnSub likely believes that he is dating these women in some capacity before he kills them.” You explained. “He has left scraps of poetry at the scenes, pages of romance novels - several of the victims had wine in their stomachs or burns from candle wax on their skin. And it’s highly likely that he turns violent when the women reject his advances, or don’t live up to the fictionalized relationship he has made up about them in his mind.” 
“How does that help us?” Someone asked. 
“Well, it’s very likely that he frequents the same hunting grounds.” Rossi explained. “We encourage you to go to local bars, and nightclubs, even gyms or cafes and pass out the profile to women who fit this type.” He said, motioning toward the pictures of the other victims. “He will be on the hunt again soon, and he has a very narrow hunting ground, living in such a lowly populated area. So we might be able to catch him off guard if his potential victims have the profile as well.” 
“This man is romantic, but he’s not charming.” You added on. “He isn’t sociable. He’s very cocky, very self-centered. He believes that he is God’s gift to women, and he has a very fractured sense of reality in general. If women reject him in everyday interactions, he will get noticeably irritated, and even violent. So he will be remembered as an unpleasant person in most women’s stories.” 
“This UnSub most likely has an inside knowledge of law enforcement.” Reid stated. “But, because he has a very antisocial personality, he wouldn’t do well working with the public. We currently have our analyst combing through files of those who flunked out of the police academy or live in the area and are retired from the military in some capacity. We believe that he might have even been in prison for an unrelated crime or institutionalized at some point, giving him a close look at the inner workings of law enforcement, and also attributing to the large break between the first two crimes.” 
Reid took a breath, and then continued on. 
“He was knowledgeable enough to purposefully dump one of the bodies across state lines in order to get the FBI involved in this case, but it was just one of the bodies, and it was dumped in a very well trackied area where it would be found. So that leaves a heavy insistence that he was fed-up with the local police not giving his case enough attention or - simply not being smart enough to keep up with him.” He explained. 
“He is very cocky.” Prentiss added on. “Incredibly over-confident. He is a narcissist to his core, and he believes that he will never be caught unless he wants to be. He thinks that he has an intricate cat-and-mouse game with law enforcement, and he can go off the grid and disappear at any time that he wants.” 
“Well… isn’t that true?” One of the cops asked. “I mean, the guy’s been at it for years and we still haven’t caught him. There’s no DNA, no real leads.” 
Hotch hummed, nodding. And then he walked over to the evidence board and motioned to the pictures of the two most recent victims - barely recognizable compared to the shining, smiling photos their families had provided. 
“We believe that he’s decompensating.” Hotch explained. “He is growing more violent toward each victim, which means that he is getting more sloppy - eventually, he will go off-book. He will break his routine in some way, and that will be the moment he’ll give us something to catch him with.” 
“So… you’re just waiting for him to kill again so you can actually catch the guy?” Someone asked sharply. 
“No.” You easily replied. “We’re praying it doesn’t come to that.” 
“Thank you everyone.” Hotch said, clearing his throat, giving an unconscious signal for everyone to disperse. “That’ll be all for now.” 
Everyone easily fell under his authority, and meandered back to what they had been doing before, now armed with the profile and ready to distribute it to members of the public, to the potential victims. 
You had a harshly, sickly feeling in your stomach as you gathered some of your files. It was the same feeling that had been turning your guts into knots since you had arrived back in Madison for the first time in years. Your eye accidentally caught the evidence board - the tall, intimidating wall lined with the gruesome photos of all the women. 
Women who looked strangely like you. Same hair color, same skin tone, same body type. All of them horribly brutalized and left for dead. All of them terrorized, tortured right up until their last moments.  
“Hey.” 
JJ’s voice snapped you out of your swirling dark cloud of thoughts, drawing your eyes away from the evidence board with a gentle hand on your upper arm. You huffed out a harsh breath as you let her guide you, turning around to face the blonde woman as she stared you down with a distinct look of concern knit across her features. 
“Are you okay?” She asked. “I’ve never seen you like this.” 
She had a point. You had been doing this job for some time. You had gone to the FBI Academy straight out of college, after getting a degree in criminal forensics. And none of it ever bothered you. You had learned about the study of blood spatter and the decomposition of bodies on live body farms, and you never flinched. 
But this case - it was getting to you. 
It was likely the first time anybody on the team had ever seen you so disturbed. 
“I’m fine.” You lied, trying to shrug off her touch. 
“Come on.” JJ sighed in return. “I don’t need to be a profiler to figure out that was a big fat lie.” 
You rolled your eyes at this. 
“You’re so brilliant.” You let out a sigh of your own, and put down your files on the nearby conference room table. You stretched out your back, deciding that you would give her an inch, hoping that she wouldn’t take a mile. “I’m freaked out. So what? Doesn’t everybody have room for a bad day?” 
“Of course.” She nodded. “Of course, you can have a bad day.” Her lips pursed, and you knew there was more coming. “Is - is it anything more than that?” 
“I’m tired.” You lied again, hoping she wouldn’t call you out on it this time. “It’s been - what? More than twenty hours since we landed. For these guys it’s been years, searching for this bastard. I wanna catch him.” 
“We will.” JJ assured you, sounding rather dull in her declaration. 
“I’m gonna drive down the street and grab an energy drink or something.” You announced, grabbing your blazer off a nearby chair and putting it on. Not that you would need a jacket with the southern weather - but your cash and your keys were in the pockets. 
“I thought you quit Redbull.” She chuckled. 
“It’s been one of those days.” You replied, shaking your head as you walked out of the room. 
Wednesday, August 15th, 2007. Madison Police Department - Madison, GA. 5:13PM.
“There’s still one thing that’s buggin’ the hell out of me.” Morgan announced as he walked back into the room with a fresh cup of coffee in hand. 
“That is?” You posed, looking up from the stack of personal files - potential suspects - that you were reading in order to engage him in the conversation. 
“What is with the two year hiatus from this guy?” He said, motioning to the board. 
The first victim had been abducted and killed all the way back in the summer of ‘99, but none of the other victims matched up until a missing person from September of 2001. And from there, the killings picked up in frequency - and the killer had taken over twenty six victims in and around Madison up until now. 
“It is weird.” You commented. “Usually after the first kill is when an UnSub is the most hungry for more. After that first taste for violence.” 
Morgan raised a brow at your strange choice of words and you shrugged it off. 
“Maybe he was hospitalized.” Reid said, appearing seemingly out of nowhere to make this comment, studying the board with his own intense expression. “Institutionalized? Maybe he was arrested for something completely unrelated, like - drugs, outstanding traffic violations?” 
“That’s helpful.” You sighed. 
“It could be.” Reid replied, sipping his own coffee. “I mean, we theorized that this UnSub has pre-existing knowledge of law enforcement - if he was in prison, maybe he was reading up on the law while he was in there? Who has closer knowledge of the law than ex-cons?” 
“Good point.” Morgan nodded. “I’ll call Garcia and have her widen the search.” 
“She is gonna love that.” You mumbled under your breath, already frustrated with the large pile of potential suspects you had to go through. 
Morgan took out his cell and walked into the other room, and you heard a distant ‘hey mama!’ as he chirped to Garcia on the other end. 
Then, you heard another voice that was all too familiar to you. 
“See, you’ve all just been working so hard, I thought you could use some sustenance!” 
It was your mother. 
You rushed out of your seat to find her in the middle of the bullpen, handing out muffins from a large basket that she had in her hand. 
It wasn’t entirely surprising to you, but it made your stomach sink. She was too much of a social butterfly for your liking. She knew about the last time you had been in this police station, she talked too much. No. You couldn’t risk her telling anyone. 
“See, that one’s blueberry, you like blueberry?” She was chatting idly, being her usual overly social self. 
“Yes, thank you so much Ms. L/N,” Prentiss smiled as your mother pushed more food into her hands. 
“Oh please, call me-” 
You knew that you must have looked like a storm, walking toward her with a scowl on your face. 
“Ma!” You barked, much harsher than you meant to, causing her to look up at you abruptly. “Ma? What are you doing here?” 
“Well see, you’ve been here all day, and you’ve been working so hard, so I made dinner for you and your friends,” She grinned, motioning toward a large tinfoil tray filled with mac and cheese that she had placed onto one of the desks next to a stack of paper plates and plastic forks. Naturally, a chunk of it was already missing. 
You wanted to scream when Reid walked over and began scooping out a portion for himself. 
“Ma, they’re not my friends, they’re my co-workers.” You said, exasperation ripe in your voice. 
You knew that this, too, ended up sounding much harsher than you had intended. As if you didn’t think of these people as friends. But you couldn’t stand the woman babying you. It’s not like she did much of that when you were an actual baby. 
“I’m an adult now, and-” You continued on, and she cut you off. 
“Oh yes, yes.” She nodded, reaching out to pinch your cheek in an utterly frustrating way. “Your co-workers.” 
“Please, Ma.” You sighed. “You can’t be here right now. This is a police station, not a bake sale.” 
“She can stay for a few minutes, can’t she?” Prentiss grinned, peeling the wrapper off her muffin. “We can take a break for dinner. I wanna hear some childhood stories about you.” 
Reid looked up eagerly at this, and you glared at both of them. 
“Oh, you should hear about the time she painted her face blue with the paint from-” Your mother began to tell a delightful embarrassing story, but you cut her off. 
“No.” You said sharply. “I’m sorry, but we have work to do. Important work. Once we actually catch the guy, I’ll bring everyone by the house for tea and cookies and you can show everyone my naked baby pictures, the whole nine yards. Just - not now.” 
You unceremoniously ripped the basket of muffins out of her hands and placed them on the desk beside the tray of mac and cheese, and she began to argue with you, calling you rude, telling you that she had raised you with better manners while you ushered her out the door. 
Prentiss and Reid exchanged a particular, concerned look as they watched you and your mother argue through the glass doors of the precinct. 
“Now what do you think that was all about?” Emily asked quietly. 
“For once, I have no idea.” Spencer mumbled in return. 
Wednesday, August 15th, 2007. Georgia Highway 72 - Madison, GA. 1:32PM.
“This is new.” Morgan noted as the two of you walked away from the SVU, approaching the dumpsite where the latest victim’s body had been found. “This guy doesn’t usually dump bodies out in the open. You think he was in a rush?” 
The two of you had been sent to check it out while Hotch and Prentiss spoke to the family, and the others went over evidence from the many pre-existing cases at the station. 
“Not likely.” You replied. “Preliminary report says there’s still no DNA, no skid marks from his tires, no shoe prints. He’s not getting sloppy.” You felt a sickly wave of vomit splash up as you looked at the woman - her ankles sticking out of the tall grass just off the edge of the highway, where she had been left, entirely visible for anybody passing by to see. “This was a present. Like a fuckin’ cat leaving a dead mouse on the porch. He wanted us to find her. And he wanted us to find her quickly.” 
“I’ll tell you one thing,” Morgan noted, tentatively stepping into the grass and gently moving the long spokes of greenery back to get a better look at the victim. “He’s definitely escalating.” 
You crouched down to get a better look yourself, and you had to agree. 
Her face was almost entirely caved in, but it appeared to be from a series of blunt hits, and not from a singular swing with a heavy object. Between the pre-mortem swelling and the post-mortem rage, where he had continued to mutilate her even after her death, she was practically unrecognizable from the photo that her family had provided you with. The only reason the team had been able to confirm her identity for sure was that she had been reported missing, and she had been found wearing a unique custom charm bracelet that her parents could confirm belonged to her. 
You wished that you could guarantee they would never see her body in this state. 
“What’s that?” Morgan wondered aloud. 
You hummed back in confusion. 
Before you could wonder any further about what he meant, he reached out and gently pried open the victim’s mouth, fishing out a small piece of plastic that he had seen sticking out from the corner of her swollen, bruised lips. He had to fight to get it out of her stiff, death rigored body, but when he was able to - a small plastic bag came out of her mouth. 
A small plastic bag containing a piece of white paper. 
“What the hell?” Morgan mumbled quietly. 
Naturally, he opened the bag and took out the paper, and you looked on with nervous curiosity as he read what was on the note. 
“You are the stars hidden by clouds.” He read aloud. “I know you’re there even when I can’t see you. Your shine peeks out and reaches me in the depths of my soul. Tell me your arms are long enough to reach me across oceans. Tell me someday we will be together, somehow, some way. Tell me that this love we have can survive being together as well as we’ve survived being apart. Tell me we are more than the chasm of our divide.” 
Bile splashed up in your throat. 
You hated that the quote was distinctly familiar to you. You hated how you knew it. 
You could still hear his voice in your head, and it made your bones quake. 
“Hmm.” Morgan looked over the paper thoughtfully. “It’s another page ripped out of a book. Just like the other one. I’ll call Garcia and have her look it up, maybe-” 
“You don’t have to.” You said, hoping that your throat wasn’t too painfully constricted around your words. “It’s Jacqueline Simon Gunn.” 
Morgan easily saw the haunted look behind your eyes - the years old terror that you were having a much harder time suppressing now. 
Oddly enough, it was a feeling that he knew well. Perhaps that’s why he saw it in you so easily. 
“You alright?” He bothered to ask, even though he knew the answer was ‘no’. 
“I’m fine.” You lied. “We should bring this back to everyone else.” 
You rushed away from the crime scene like a bat out of hell, and even though he knew he should have pressed further - he let you. 
… 
Wednesday, August 15th, 2007. Madison Police Department - Madison, GA. 10:08AM.
“Good morning, y’all.” 
The BAU was greeted by Chief Dalton, the Madison County Chief of Police, as you all filed into the small police department. 
“You can set up in the conference room over there, I hope we got y’all everything you need.” He said, flashing a warm, welcoming smile. 
“This looks fine, thank you.” JJ said, reaching out to shake his hand. “I’m Special Agent Jennifer Jareau, this is Doctor Spencer Reid,” She pointed to him, and he nodded in return - of course, rather than shaking hands. “This is Special Agent Emily Prentiss, Agent Rossi, and Agent L/N. Our Unit Chief Aaron Hotchner and Special Agent Morgan will be here later - they wanted to go and interview some of the families of the victims, get some more background information.” 
“L/N?” He motioned toward you, his eyes becoming fixated on you as you set down your bag and lifted one of the lids off the boxes to get a glance at some of the files. “That name sounds awful familiar to me - are you from Madison?” 
“Oh yes, I am,” You grinned at him, stepping forward and giving him a handshake, to which he grinned back widely. “I grew up here. This is actually my first time back in years.” 
“Well, welcome home.” He said. “I wish it was under better circumstances.” 
“Me too.” You easily agreed. 
You thought that would be the end of it, until: 
“You know I hardly recognized you. Such a pretty face, but the last time I saw you, you was beat to a darn pulp.” He remarked, giving a pained chuckle. 
Your stomach swelled with anxiety, and it felt like a pure balloon of concrete sitting inside of you. You felt all the eyes in the room on you - Rossi, JJ, Emily, Spencer - all of them staring you down as this man aired your dirty laundry like it was as casual as the weather report. 
“You came through here - what was it, the summer of ‘99? I’ll never forget that assault report. I’m surprised you can still see out of that right eye of yours, with the way-” 
“Coffee?” You cut him off when you managed to find your voice, rushing to change the subject and praying he would get the hint. “Where can I get a coffee around here? Long flight. And we’ve had an early morning. Long flight, going over the case.” 
You didn’t even realize you were tripping over your own words, repeating yourself in a rush to fill the air so he wouldn’t speak about the past anymore. 
“Oh, it’s right through there. In the break room.” He said, motioning vaguely behind him. 
“Would you mind showing me, please?” 
You knew it was cowardly, but you were now desperate to escape your colleagues, and wanted to drag the Chief away before he spilled anything else from his loose lips. 
He escorted you out of the room and it was only a mere moment before conversation ensued about the strange thing that had just happened. 
“Am I gonna be the first person to say ‘what the hell’?” Rossi asked, looking around to his teammates, who all had equally shocked and confused expressions. 
“It’s a small town. These people don’t exactly understand secrecy. Or tact.” JJ sighed. 
“Yeah, but why would Y/N keep that a secret from us?” Spencer asked, frowning. “If she was assaulted-” 
“Yeah, in the summer of ‘99.” Emily pressed. “That was a long time ago. Have you told everyone on the team every little detail about your life from ten years ago?” 
“Eight years.” Spencer easily corrected her. 
“Whatever.” Emily rolled her eyes. “We’re not here to profile her. We’re here to catch another scumbag and leave.” 
There seemed to be a resounding nod at this.
“If she wants to tell us about what happened, she will.” Rossi added on.  
… 
Wednesday, August 15th, 2007. Outskirts of Madison - Madison, GA. 9:52AM.
“There’s my beautiful girl.” 
He had a perfect view of you through the scope of his gun. 
Of course, he would never hurt you. There was no bullet in that gun that was intended for you. This was just the perfect way to see you. Up close and personal. Just the way he liked it. 
This was the first time he had seen you in so long. You wore your makeup differently now - your hair was a bit different. But you were still his girl. 
“You’re gonna love the present I left for ya.” 
You spoke his language - violence. 
You wrote your life in blood, just like he did. 
You were perfect. His perfect girl. 
Wednesday, August 15th, 2007. Inside the BAU Jet - Somewhere Above America. 7:12AM.
“So, the ME dates eight of these victims from within the last year alone?” Prentiss questioned, looking over some of the files on the table in front of her. 
“Well, it’s difficult to tell with the soil erosion and the heavy rain that the area had recently, but they are significantly less decomposed than the others.” JJ explained. 
“What I don’t understand,” Morgan noted. “Why would he give up his gig now? I mean, twenty four victims in a mass grave in the middle of the woods, and he leaves a twenty-fifth victim in the middle of the road, clearly intending for police to find it. With a damn note attached, giving up the exact coordinates of his mass dumpsite. Why?”
“It is strange.” Reid agreed. “Typically, whenever killers have contact with the police, it is to taunt them for their inability to get caught, believing that the police are stupid and they as killers are invincible.” He said. Naturally, this rolled into a rant as more facts came to mind about the subject. 
“Serial killer Dennis Rader, also known as the BTK killer, standing for Blind, Torture, Kill - he taunted police with letters over a period of three decades, between 1974 and 1991, each one that he sent to the local police simply saying ‘good luck hunting’.” Reid explained. “Occasionally, he would send them graphic descriptions of how he had posed the bodies at each crime scene. And he was only caught when a floppy disc he sent to a local television station was traced back to a computer that he had used at his church.” 
Reid laughed at this revelation, finding it amusing. With all eyes staring at him, he reached the realization that this wasn’t helpful to the case at hand - and then he easily clammed up. 
“So, this UnSub gives up the dumpsite because… he’s feeling remorseful? He wants to get caught?” Rossi theorized. 
“The level of violence across these recent victims has no indication of remorse.” You replied. “One of the bodies found at the dumpsite was missing over half her teeth, and had all ten of her fingers broken in multiple places. Seemingly pre-mortem.” 
There was a heavy silence at this. 
“Perhaps he’s feeling ignored,” Hotch posed. “He feels like his crimes aren’t being well covered by the media and he wants glory. He finally wants recognition for what he’s done.” 
“Well, wouldn’t he have sent some kind of manifesto or another letter to the police?” Morgan posed. “And it seems like the guy went through a whole lot of trouble for a long time, trying not to get caught. He buried them out in the woods, secluded. Wrapped them in plastic, scrubbed the bodies clean so there’s absolutely no DNA. Doesn’t seem like someone looking for glory to me.”  
“Not to mention that he wrote the coordinates for the dumpsite on the back of a page ripped out of a novel.” Rossi said, squinting down at one of the files - a close up forensic photo that had been sent over by the local police department. 
Prentiss held out her hand, and Rossi handed over the photo, and then she began reading the words off the page aloud. 
“-I wish, as well as everybody else, to be perfectly happy, but-” 
“-but, like everybody else, it must be in my own way.” You finished the quote before she could, the words flashing through your mind with a sickly twist in your gut. It was all too familiar to you, in the worst way. “It’s Sense and Sensibility. Jane Austin.” 
Everyone fixated on you with a strange gaze, wondering how you knew this off the top of your head. Especially when usually this would only be something that Reid would be able to recite so perfectly by heart. 
“Maybe he thinks that he’s romancing these women?” Prentiss theorized, trying to move on from the strange moment. 
“That’s plausible.” Hotch agreed. “When we land, Morgan and I will go interview some of the families. JJ, get us their contacts. I want to know if any of these women had problems with an ex boyfriend or even a bad date whom they rejected. It could be someone they once viewed as a potential romantic partner that went horribly wrong.” 
JJ nodded at this, going to look through her files for the information. 
“This level of torture - it’s likely a substitute for sexual gratification.” Morgan theorized, looking at the crime scene photos one again. “Maybe he is romancing these women, but in his mind, this is the ultimate form of romance? Having all of his conquests together in death - it’s a declaration of what a casanova he is. In his fractured world.” 
“It still doesn’t explain why he gave up the dumpsite to the police.” Prentiss argued. 
“Men like to brag about their sexual exploits.” Rossi said, nodding toward Morgan. “If these women are his conquests, in his mind, then he wants his manliness, his accomplishments, to be appreciated by other men.” 
Prentiss sharply rolled her eyes at this. 
“Well, at least we know our UnSub’s not a woman.” She remarked sharply. 
… 
Wednesday, August 15th, 2007. BAU Offices (FBI Headquarters) - Quantico, Virginia. 6:15AM.
JJ stood at the front of the room, ready to present the newest case to everyone. 
“Last night, a body was discovered on the backroads of South Carolina, about five miles outside of the town of Delph. She was found naked, mutilated. Heavy bruising all over her body that insinuates the killer kept her and tortured her for days. Final cause of death appears to be blunt force trauma from multiple hits to the head, but she also had several shallow stab wounds across her body, seemingly from some kind of hunting knife with a rough blade.” 
JJ explained, beginning to present the case as she clicked the small remote, causing images of the crime scene to pop up on the large screen in the room. 
“The victim - now identified as Ashley Prembrooke, hadn’t even been reported missing. She left her parents house in Madison, Georgia, about three days ago to drive back to her dorm at the University of South Carolina. When she didn’t show up on time, her roommate assumed that she was staying at home for a few extra days. Her father has cancer, so she wanted to be there for him.” 
There seemed to be a particularly dark aura in the room at this news. 
“Did the killer know that she wouldn’t be reported missing, or did he just snatch her up by chance?” Morgan asked. 
“Her car was found abandoned at a rest stop a few miles from the border of Georgia.” JJ explained. “So… it seems to be random.” 
“Well, I hate to ask this,” Rossi said. “But why are we being called out for just one body?” 
“That’s the thing.” JJ sighed. 
She clicked the clicker again, and several close-up photos appeared. Photos of the victim’s mutilated body - among the harsh bruising on her torso, there was a piece of white paper, partially stained with blood. It had been folded and stapled into her flesh. 
“The victim was found with this page… stapled into her skin.” JJ said, clearly finding the words disturbing to speak aloud. “Written on the back, was a set of coordinates. Local police discovered that these coordinates lead to a random patch of woods, about ten miles outside of Madison, Georgia.” 
JJ queued more pictures onto the screen. It was those very woods - overturned dirt. And more than a dozen bodies, wrapped in plastic among the soil. 
“It was the site of a mass grave with twenty-four other victims - all women around the same age, with the most recent ones all having the same body type, the same hair color, same general makeup as Ashley Prembrooke.” 
“He has a type.” Hotch stated the obvious. 
“And for some reason, he tipped the police off to his hiding place.” JJ reminded them all. 
“Twenty four victims?” Prentiss questioned, clearly shocked by this number. 
“That’s what they’ve found so far. The decomposition on some of the bodies seems to go back as far as a decade, but it’s difficult to date them exactly.” JJ replied. 
“So… the guy is experienced, hasn’t been caught in years, and he hands over his honey pot to the cops? Is he trying to get caught? Is he feeling guilty?” Rossi posed. 
“No, not with that level of violence. There’s no remorse there.” Morgan replied. 
“He dumped Ashley Prembrooke over state lines. We could be looking at somebody with an incredibly wide hunting ground who gave up one of many dumpsites as a way to taunt police.” Hotch theorized. 
“That doesn’t seem to be the case.” JJ explained. “So far, eight of the most recent victims have been matched up with missing persons reports, all of them women from Madison. All within the last year alone. It seems like he targeted Ashley because she was from Madison - that’s his comfort zone.” 
When the pictures of the missing women - now confirmed dead, murdered violently, popped up on screen, your throat tightened. 
You had known at least two of them. You had gone to school with them. You had seen them cheer proudly at high school pep rallies - you had known them lively and bright. And now they were bones rotting in the soil, taken by some monster. 
Beyond that, there was an alarming trend. 
They looked like you. You couldn’t deny that. Same hair color, same body type, same skin tone. 
And they were from your hometown. 
Between this, and the letter, the morning was getting to be too much for you. You wanted to believe it was all a series of terrible coincidences, but… 
Looking across the roundtable at you, Reid was the only one who saw that sickly look come over your face. He was desperate to know what was troubling you. 
“Reid?” Hotch got his attention, finding it strange that the overly talkative man was quiet this morning. “You’ll work the geographical profile?” 
“Yes.” Reid nodded, finally taking his eyes off you. “It’s unusual for the killer to hunt wider than a five hundred mile radius from home. So it’s likely that he lives, works, and operates all within Madison.” 
“Good. We could be looking at a copy-cat who knew about the previous killer’s dumpsite, or… something else entirely. But we need to get on the ground there and find out.” Hotch said. “Wheels up in thirty.” 
Everyone dispersed from the table when Hotch finalized with this, and you found yourself much dizzier than you realized as you tried to stand. As everyone moved to their desks to gather their things, you moved to the counter to get a coffee - hoping to calm your nerves. 
“Y/N.” 
You nearly jumped out of your skin when Reid’s voice came from behind you - your own blood was pumping in your ears, and seemingly, he had snuck up behind you. But his usually quiet footsteps simply couldn’t be heard beyond the nagging thump of your own anxiety. 
“What?” You barked back, knowing it was far too harsh. 
“Are - are you alright?” He asked, hesitant to bother you with the question. 
“I’m fine.” You lied as you dumped the sugar packets into your cup, your shaking hands accidentally spilling some across the counter top. 
“Are you sure?” Reid pressed. 
You let out a heavy sigh and turned to face him, crossing your arms heavily over your chest. 
“What?” You said the word again, sternly, glaring at him. 
All he did was give you a soft, understanding expression in return. 
You hated it. 
You hated how he was so open - it was almost horrifying, how you could have easily told him what was bothering you. 
Sweet, accepting, understanding Reid. 
If you told him the truth, he probably would have told you some statistic that he found comforting. It would have been sweet, coming from him. But then, he would have been looking at you with those eyes all damn day, holding pity in his heart and not truly focusing on the work that needed to get done. 
“Can you look at the shit we see every single day and always be okay with it?” 
You easily made up an excuse, pretending you were rattled by the crime scene photos, even though this murder was no more graphic in nature than any other you had been subjected to seeing recently. 
“I’m human. So what?” 
Reid studied your face carefully. He saw guilt dancing in your eyes - the way you gently bit your lip was your tell for lying, that much he knew from playing many rounds of poker with you on the plane rides home. 
But he felt that simply nagging you more wouldn’t get the truth out of you. Not right now. 
“Okay.” He acquiesced. “I know it’s hard. If you ever need someone to talk to-” 
You stormed off, accidentally slamming into his shoulder on the way along in your haste to escape the conversion. Reid heavily eyed the cup of coffee that you had left cooling on the counter before he turned and left himself. 
… 
Wednesday, August 15th, 2007. BAU Offices (FBI Headquarters) - Quantico, Virginia. 6:04AM.
You walked into the bullpen with your bag on your arm, sipping a strong coffee in a travel mug you had brought from home. 
“You look tired.” Emily commented as you walked over to your desk. “Late night?” 
You moaned in reply, not yet ready to let go of nursing your coffee mug, taking a few more long gulps as you took the strap of your bag off your shoulder and slung it into your chair. 
“Last night, the fire alarm in my building went off at 3am.” You told her, finally surrendering the mug and putting it down on your desk. “I was out of bed in a panic, barely awake, went into the hallway to evacuate - and the sprinklers had gone off. So I ended up standing outside for more than an hour in my little jammies, soaking wet, and it turns out - some teenager from the third floor pulled the alarm because he was having an argument with his mom. He didn’t want to go to summer school.” 
“Yikes.” Derek commented. “Well, you know, if you ever need a calm, cozy place to sleep, you can always give me a call. And you can bring your little jammies.” He told you with a wink. You rolled your eyes, knowing that flirting was his default. “As long as you don’t mind Clooney licking at your toes in the mornin’.” 
That almost made it sound more appealing. You did love that dog. 
“You know, a study was done at the University of New Hampshire that concluded that twenty to thirty minute windows of sleep actually optimize the human brain for functionality the most.” Spencer added on, leaning back in his chair at his desk as he explained this. 
“The schedule of a ten to twelve hour work day, followed by an eight hour sleep period has only been instituted in society as a commonality since the industrial revolution. And it doesn’t actually flow with how the human brain has been optimized by evolution. Before that, most people optimized their lives around a wake-sleep period of three to four hours, taking care of chores in the morning, participating in a midday nap, and then socializing in the evening and partaking in community events before sleeping again in the evening. And most communities functioned around people sleeping and waking at vastly different times rather than everyone having one collective morning routine.” He concluded, giving you a smile. 
You found his rambling fascinating, but you found it ironic that you could barely process half of what he had said - because you were too tired. 
“Well, unfortunately we can’t all live in villages and pick berries for a living.” Emily remarked with a yawn. 
The conversation shifted when Penelope walked in, and gave you a bright smile. 
“Good morning, pretty girl.” She greeted you. 
“Mornin’, Penny G.” You replied.
“This arrived on the mailcart for you, postmarked from a few days ago, stamped express. I figured you’d want to have eyes on it as soon as possible.” She told you, handing you a very average looking white envelope. 
You weren’t sure why, but it invoked a strange feeling in your gut. 
The moment that you saw the handwriting on your front - the script that made up your name. 
The way he had written it. 
Bile rose up in your throat, and you forced yourself to swallow it back down. All eyes in the room immediately knew that something was wrong. 
“What is it?” Emily asked. 
“Nothing.” You quickly replied. 
You didn’t even want to open it, but bitter curiosity was eating at you. 
How the hell had he found your work address? He knew where you worked now? 
“I’m gonna - bathroom.” You mumbled an excuse as you rushed back out of the room again, practically fleeing toward the bathroom, leaving all eyes on your shadow. 
In particular, Spencer’s eyes followed you hard as you retreated. He wondered how a simple letter could upset you so much. 
You secluded yourself safely in a locked stall, your heart thumping in your chest as you began to tear into the letter. The envelope turned to sinew in your hands with your anxious inability to open it properly. In a few moments, you pulled out the piece of paper with a shaking hand, and dropped the shredded envelope onto the floor. 
You barely managed to read its contents through tearful eyes. 
Lover, 
Fate has sent us on such different paths, but I will be with you again soon. 
I still miss you every single day. I remember your smell. 
I know none of the men you have spent your recent years with can measure up to me, which is why I have set you on the path back to me. 
“I wish, as well as everybody else, to be perfectly happy; but like everybody else, it must be in my own way.” 
-Daniel 
Your chest caved in when you realized that there was something taped to the corner of the page. 
You recognized the piece of dark cloth in an instant. 
It was from that night. He had kept it. 
You couldn’t keep the bile down that time. You turned to the toilet and puked up a horrible swirl of black coffee and half a toaster waffle that you had scarfed down while getting dressed for work. 
When you had just barely caught your breath, you heard the door to the bathroom creak open. 
“Y/N?” Emily called out your name. “Are you in here?” 
You didn’t answer. 
Instead, you heaved a large glob of putrid spit into the toilet and wiped your mouth with the back of your hand. 
“Are you okay?” She asked, her voice now coming from right outside the stall you were in. 
“I’m fine.” You handed out that lie, not knowing how many times in the next day you were going to be saying it. 
“You don’t sound fine.” Emily told you. “I thought I heard you throwing up.” 
“Bad sushi.” You lied. “Stopped by the corner store on my way home. You know I never cook. Food poisoning is usually 50/50 with that kind of shit. Just another thing to add to my great night, right?” 
You let out a sour, sarcastic chuckle, but Emily didn’t follow suit. 
You knew that you would have to face her sooner or later, so you wiped your mouth again and then turned and unlocked the stall door. 
“I’ll be fine.” You told her, throwing her a very fake smile. 
“Yeah.” She said, tone flat, entirely disbelieving. “Would it have anything to do with that?” 
She motioned to the letter, which you had almost forgotten was crumbled up in your fist. 
“Can I see?” 
You didn’t even consider how suspicious it would be, but as her hand moved toward the paper, you ripped it up and tossed it into the toilet, grabbing the envelope up off the floor and tossing it into the mess of paper and vomit as well before you flushed it all down. 
“It’s nothing.” You grunted out, another very poor lie coming from your lips as you exited the stall and moved toward the sinks. “It’s garbage.” 
You turned on the tap and leaned down, taking in a mouthful of water to rinse out your mouth while she watched you with careful, piercing eyes. 
“It’s kind of pathetic that you’re trying so hard to bullshit me.” Emily remarked. “Not just because we’re both profilers, but because it’s so painfully obvious that something is wrong.” 
You swirled the water around your mouth, rinsing it out, and then spit into the sink before you turned the tap off. When you rose up to your full height, you caught Emily’s eye in the mirror - pitying. You hated it. 
It was that kind of pity that held you back from telling her the truth. 
She reached over to the dispenser and got you some of the paper towel, handing it to you as she spoke again. 
“You know you can tell me what’s bothering you, right?” She said, reaching up to put a gentle hand on your shoulder. 
There was a small, quiet moment - the words edged on your tongue. 
You truly considered just coming out with it. 
But then- 
A harsh knock on the door cut through the silence. 
“Y/N? Em?” JJ poked her head in through the door, clearly looking for the two of you. When she spotted you, she continued on. “I need everybody at the roundtable in five.” 
“Let’s get going.” You said, wiping your mouth and then crumpling the paper towel to toss it into the garbage can. 
… 
Thursday, August 16th, 2007. Madison Police Department - Madison, GA. 1:45AM.
Reid stormed in, capturing everyone’s attention. 
After being given a shoebox full of strange letters by your mother, he had finally pieced it together. He finally realized the secret you had been hiding - the thing that put you right in this killer’s crosshairs. 
“Guys, I think we got the profile all wrong.” He announced, a look of worry knit into his features. “And - if I’m right, then I think I know where she is.” 
He motioned to something in his hands - it was a worn-out old shoebox, something that made everyone curious and confused. 
“What the hell is that?” Prentiss asked. 
“Come on.” Reid ushered everyone into the conference room, and once the whole team was gathered, he shut the door. 
He opened the box and spilled it into the middle of the table, revealing a flood of hand-written letters. JJ stood back in shock, Hotch observed carefully and silently as usual, and Rossi, Morgan, and Prentiss began to pick through them while Reid explained his revelation. 
“Y/N’s mother gave me these.” He explained. “All of them are addressed to Y/N, and from what I can see, they’re pretty much weekly, and they go back as far as 1999.” 
“When the first murder occurred.” Morgan easily pieced the two things together. 
“Not only that,” Reid added on. “The first murder took place in August of ‘99.” He said, pointing to the picture of the first known victim on the evidence board. “And I think the first letter, or one of the earliest, is from July of ‘99. At least.” 
“So - so she was having correspondence with the killer?” JJ questioned. “What? Was he in prison? Are you saying that Y/N is involved with this in some way?” 
“No-” Reid rushed to correct this assumption, and Morgan cut him off. 
“She was at Quantico when the latest victims were killed. Even if the guy has a partner, I really don’t take her as bein’ responsible for this.” He said. 
“Plus, these don’t exactly read as love letters.” Pretniss pointed out, her expression growing disturbed as she read what the killer had written from the letter in her hands. 
“-every day I dream of you, my love. I remember the way you felt underneath me - clawing for your life, desperate. I remember the way you screamed. Tasting your blood for the first time made me feel alive again. I hope the bruises meant as much to you as they did to me.” 
“The use of ‘I’ language denotes self importance - the author has a natural narcissistic personality disorder, but he pretends that it’s a fulfilling two-way relationship, when naturally it’s a fixation on someone who could never truly live up to his fantasies.” Reid explained. 
The room fell silent as the reality of it hit everyone. You were the target of someone truly dangerous. Someone who was going to kill you when you didn’t perform the fantasy that he had in mind for you. 
“She was being stalked.” Reid declared quietly, sounding defeated. “She still is.” 
“These killings aren’t someone having separate, individual fantasized relationships with each victim; this is about the killer repeating the same relationship over and over again, performing the same ritual killing in order to relive the same fantasy over again, projecting it onto different women of the same type.” Hotch said, coming to the realization as he stared at the different victims photos on the evidence board with a firm look on his face. “He’s been in love with the same woman in his mind for years, but nobody can live up to the real thing. That’s why he gave up the dump site. Because he wanted to lure her here. He wanted the FBI here, because he wanted to get L/N here.” 
“Okay, but the bigger question is: why L/N? What was the incident that got him fixated on her in the first place?” Rossi questioned, asking what was on everyone’s mind. 
JJ’s face was struck with horrible realization, and she ran to the door, ripping it open. She screamed the Chief’s name at the top of her lungs until she got the man’s attention, looking entirely crazed to everyone else in the station. Naturally, she didn’t care. He bustled over, scurrying toward her urgent voice, spilling coffee on himself in the process. 
“Chief.” JJ breathed out. “You said that Y/N came through the station, and she was beaten up the last time you saw her - when was that?” 
“Oh, I dunno?” He creased his brows with concentration, trying to remember. “About ‘98? ‘99?” 
“Did she file a report about the incident?” JJ asked. 
“Yeah.” The Chief replied. “It was a break-in. Poor thing. Summer vacation, her mother wasn’t home, off with the church on a retreat hittin’ the bingo halls up in Texas. She said that she never saw the attacker, though. He was wearin’ a ski-mask.” 
There was a silent exchange among the group that said they knew the truth - you had seen the attacker, you knew him. It’s why you had gone with him willingly this time. But you hadn’t told the police the truth back then because you had been too scared. 
“Can you get me that report?” JJ asked. 
After too many anxious minutes, the Chief came back with an old file in hand, and JJ snatched it out of his hands with a mumbled thank you before she shut the door in his face once again. She placed it down on the table among the mess of letters, and flipped it open. 
“Oh my god.” Emily gasped when she saw the photos inside. 
There was a spread of old polaroid photos, pinned to the sides of the file. They were almost too graphic for the team to look at - one showing the damage to your face; both of your eyes bruised, one of them entirely swollen shut. Scratches, deep gashes, harsh bruising all over your body. You were wearing a dark cotton tee shirt with patches ripped out of it - as if someone had been clawing at you and nearly ripped the clothing off your body to keep you from getting away. 
“This wasn’t a burglary.” Derek mumbled, frowning as he picked up one of the photos and inspected it closer. 
“Get Garcia on the line,” Hotch told JJ. 
She dialed the tech’s number on the conference hub, having to unbury the small bit of technology from some papers before she did it. It rang for a few moments before the woman on the other end picked up. 
“Where’s our girl?” Garcia asked anxiously, talking about you. “Is there any news? You’re calling because there’s good news, right?” 
“Babygirl,” Derek called out, trying to get her to focus, but she trampled right past this and continued to ramble on. 
“Please don’t tell me she’s dead!” Garcia shrieked on the other end. “Cause I can’t keep losing people! And I know it’s selfish to say that I can’t lose her, but she’s one of my best friends, and I’m gonna be a mess! And she promised to be the maid of honor and my wedding, and I know I’m not even engaged, and I don’t even have a boyfriend, but I need to have her around for big milestones in my life like that, she’s like the best person I know, and-” 
“Garcia, we need you.” Hotch told her firmly, cutting off her emotional ranting. 
“Right.” The tech replied, sucking in sharply, trying to catch her breath. There was some scraping in the background - the wheels of her chair on the floor as she scooted her chair into her desk. “What do you need? I’m here.” 
“I need you to look up reports of rape in and around Madison County between 1991 and 1999.” Hotch told her. 
“Rape?” Garcia replied, seemingly shocked by the topic and how it might relate to the case at hand - how it might relate to you. 
“Come on, babygirl.” Derek encouraged her. “Work your magic.” 
“Yeah. I got it.” She said hesitantly, and then there was the clacking of her keyboard as she worked. 
“Oh. Ugh.” 
“What is it?” Rossi was the first to ask. 
“There’s over five hundred cases.” Penelope told them, clearly disgusted by this number. 
“Can you narrow it down to women in their twenties? With similarities to the victims who have been targeted by the killer. Same hair type, same race, same body type.” Hotch told her. 
“Turning on the creep filter.” Garcia said, using her usual sense of humor that she turned on to shield herself. “That leaves us with… about twenty cases.” 
“Were any of them prosecuted?” Hotch asked. 
“Two of them.” Penelope replied. “A couple of sorority sisters from the University of Georgia were held at gunpoint and raped by a pizzaman in ‘95. He went to trial, got ten years. And he was paroled for good behavior in 2003. Yikes.” Emily rolled her eyes in agreement with his comment. “And shortly after his parole, he crashed his car into a tree in a drunk driving incident. Looks like he’s probably not your guy.” 
“What about the other eighteen cases?” Reid asked. 
“Um… no.” Garcia replied. “None of them went to court. A lot of these say that the victims were attacked by a stranger… that he broke in through the back door. Hold on.” 
“What?” Derek prompted her. 
“There is one here. Terry Driver. She said that she was raped, and she identified her rapist as someone she knew - Daniel Matthews. But he was never arrested because his brother gave him an ability for the night of the incident.” Garcia explained. 
“I bet that one was air-tight.” Rossi scoffed. 
“What type of injuries did the victims have?” Hotch asked. 
“Um… nothing major.” Penelope replied. Hotch frowned. “A black eye… a few scratches.” She hesitated. “Ligature marks… from being tied to their beds. God. That sounds like the most horrible night of your life, doesn’t it?” 
Hotch shook his head, sweeping a tense hand over his face. “He doesn’t fit the profile.” 
“Wait.” Reid swallowed thickly, staring at the photos of you that were sitting in the middle of the table. 
Battered. Bruised. Broken. 
“Some of the letters refer to him having an awakening. ‘An awakening in my soul. A bond through blood.’” He explained, naturally reciting the words from memory after having only read them once. 
“She fought back hard.” He held up one of the photos - one of your arm, showing deep, bloody scratches. Defensive wounds. “She found back so hard - he must have liked it. It-” 
“It gave him a taste for violence.” Prentiss finished off the thought, fear written all over her face. “She - she was the one who made him realize that he could use violence to replace sex completely. So he switched from rape to murder.” She came to the shocking realization aloud, her eyes flickering from the photo of you to all the photos scattered across the evidence board - all the victims he had practiced on in the wake of you. 
“Oh - oh my god.” Penelope gasped, having heard all of this over the intercom. “He’s gonna kill her? He’s gonna kill Y/N?” 
“Garcia, What can you get me on Matthews?” Hotch asked. 
“Um, right - Daniel Matthews…” There was more clacking of keys, and then Penelope replied. “He grew up in Madison. Looks like he went to the same high school as Y/N. He used to play football. He has a juvenile record for… vandalism, underage drinking. The usual. Oh…” 
“Oh?” JJ wondered aloud. 
“He had a very brief stint in the FBI Academy. He was kicked out 2001 when he was accused of sexually harassing fellow female applicants, and he was flagged on the psych eval as having a possible narcissistic personality disorder.” Garcia explained. 
“Bingo.” Rossi sighed. “That’s our UnSub.” 
“Oh my god. The hiatus.” Morgan said, his eyes fixated on the evidence board now. “‘99 was the year he attacked Y/N, when he first got a taste for it… and then… he followed her to the Academy?”
“And he resumed the killings when he got kicked out.” Rossi picked up on the thought. “When he couldn’t be in close contact with her anymore… he couldn’t get a high off of retraumatizing her, reliving that night in his mind, he needed to relive it through the other victims.” 
It all fit together now. 
It was a horrible puzzle, but it all fit together around you. 
“Reid, you said you might know where he took her?” Pretniss said, turning back to the very tired looking genius. 
“Yes,” Reid shoved aside the file with the graphic photos of you, and went shuffling through the letters for something. When he found it, he handed it over to Prentiss. “A lot of the earliest dated letters make reference to ‘our special place’. Or-” 
“-the bed I first made love to you in.” Prentiss read it off the page, clearly holding back vomit. 
JJ grabbed up the file with the report about the break-in, shoving aside the photos, looking for an address. “It’s here. I’ve got it.” 
“Okay, I want squad cars, tactical swat, I want spike strips on every road in or out of that place. I need everyone mobile in ten minutes.” Hotch ordered sharply, causing everyone to jump into action. 
Thursday, August 16th, 2007. Abandoned Country House - Madison, GA. 2:20AM.
It should have felt like a victory to hold a knife to the throat of your rapist - someone who had been taunting you for years after the incident. 
But somehow, you still felt small. You still felt so chaotic and out of control. 
Both your hands shook vigorously as you struggled with the warring inside of you, as you struggled with the weight of confronting your life’s biggest monster. 
In the back of your mind, you were aware of the guns pointed at you. You would have liked to believe that because Emily was your friend - she wouldn’t shoot you. 
Part of you thought it would be worth it. To kill this man and take a bullet in the process. 
You just hoped that she would aim to wound and not to kill. 
“Put the knife down!” Emily ordered, her voice sounding muffled in your ears as blood thumped hard through you. “Come on, put it down.” 
“Reid-!” 
You heard his name being called out, and you saw a figure moving from the corner of your eye, but all you could focus on was the blade in your hand. The sight of a thick, unmarked neck, ripe for the taking in front of you. The idea that all you had to do was press down and slice through flesh - and then, this would all be over. 
No more torment. No more letters. No more taunting. 
“Y/N,” 
His soothing voice spoke your name, and you held a sob inside of your chest. 
You had grown so much of a life beyond this. Beyond him. He had tried to ruin you, he had tried to keep you in some little cage in some shitty town, and you had outgrown him. You had friends. You had people who loved you. 
But you still couldn’t escape him. 
“You don’t have to do this.” 
Your hand shook as you held the knife. 
“I have to.” You replied, unable to hold back your sobs. You barely noticed the tears coming out of your eyes - barely able to identify why your vision was blurring, why your face was suddenly wet. 
“You don’t have to.” Reid told you, his voice calming, gentle. “You - you can give me the knife, and then we can just… walk away. And then it all ends.” 
“It won’t just end!” You screamed out, your voice a curtling weep that bounced off the walls. 
If you let Daniel walk away from this, he would come for you again. He would. 
Or he would keep killing other women in your place. And you couldn’t let that happen. 
You couldn’t let your cowardice be the reason that so many women had died. You should have killed him the first time he had ever touched you. You should have been brave enough then. 
“It can end.” Reid assured you calmly. “You just have to come with me. You just have to put the knife down and-” 
It just sounded like noises in your ears at that point. 
Spencer just didn’t understand. 
“I have to make it stop!” You screamed, urgent to make him truly hear you. “I killed those women. I killed them!” 
“Prentiss!” A voice called her name, but it was so distant in your ears. 
“Just give him a minute!” Prentiss fired back. 
“He killed them because of me!” You shouted, cutting him off. “We both know it’s my fault.” 
“It’s not.” Reid choked out. “Please don’t say that.” 
There was a gutting silence. 
“Please, just give me the knife.” 
You couldn’t give up. 
You had come too far to let Daniel win now. 
“It was my fault. I know what happened. If I had just been a good little girl… if I had just laid there and taken it… it’s all my fault.” You quietly wept, your arms still shaking - muscles ripe with hesitation as you struggled with your grip on the knife. “I have to be the one to make it stop.” 
By violence it was done, and by violence it would be undone. 
You could be brave enough this time. You could be the one to end it. 
“No, no you don’t.” Reid told you. “You don’t have to do it alone. We can make it stop together. Just give me the knife. Please.” 
You had been alone your whole life. What was one more thing? 
Just press down. Something in your mind screamed. Slice his throat. End it. 
“Please, just look at me.” Spencer begged, his voice growing more desperate. “Please.” 
You didn’t look up at him. 
You knew that you couldn’t. 
If you took one look at those soft, pitying eyes, then the tiny bit of bravery you had gathered up would crack away. 
“Y/N, please.” Spencer continued. “I know why you think you have to do this. I know that his face is the one that’s been in all your nightmares since that night. I - I know you were all alone then, on the night that happened. You must have felt so alone.” 
You let out another sob at this. 
You had been so alone. 
“But you’re not alone now. You’re not alone now, okay?” 
Spencer’s gentle voice delivering the words made them feel so true. 
“We’re here with you now. I’m here with you. You don’t have to do this alone. You don’t have to fight by yourself anymore. You don’t have to be strong.” 
You heard a crack in his voice for the first time - his own tears. 
It wasn’t pity. 
It was genuine sadness for you, as he thought about what had happened to you. What had happened in this very bedroom all those years ago. 
“Spencer-” You choked out his name, and your body betrayed you. 
You finally collapsed, your hand dropping the knife, and Spencer reached out and grabbed you as you fell, helping to move your shuddering form away from the unconscious, horrible man as the others finally moved in. 
You heard more voices, more shouting - maybe Hotch giving orders. 
But all you felt was Spencer’s arms around you, creating a shield as he rubbed your back and gently hushed you, letting you sob as loudly as you needed to, giving you a kind of comfort that you had never felt on that horrible night. 
… 
Thursday, August 16th, 2007. Madison Police Department, Interrogation Room #1 - Madison, GA. 3:39AM.
The chilled air of the interrogation room only made the regret of it all more palpable in your lungs. 
Maybe Reid had saved you from yourself, or maybe he had caused you to make the biggest mistake of your life. 
You should have killed Daniel. 
You hated it, but you had to wonder what you would have done if you had ten more minutes. Ten more minutes before they had arrived, sirens screeching, lights flashing. Your mind kept replaying the moments over and over again. The knife had felt so perfect in your hand. You should have sliced his throat. 
Ten more minutes. 
The hum of the fluorescents overhead made you feel like a bug about to be zapped - like your entire life was over and you would be resigned to a cage. 
Daniel had been hauled away in an ambulance. He had been entirely unmoving. In ‘critical condition’. They would likely charge you with manslaughter if he didn’t recover - it wasn’t likely that he would. You had overheard Prentiss remark on the irony that he was an organ donor. Because you had beaten him so badly, but not killed him, it was likely that his comatose state would lead to his organs being donated, and saving more lives. 
It could be viewed as a beautiful thing. 
But you had to wonder if the poison he had in his veins was contagious. Should the heart of a killer really live on inside someone else’s body? 
“Let’s start with this,” Reid asked you sharply. “Why?” 
Truthfully, you couldn’t give him that answer. You didn’t think you would ever have enough time to conjure it up within yourself. 
“You’re the genius profiler, Doctor Reid.” You fired back coldly. “You tell me.” 
You let out another puff of your cigarette, and he frowned at you. 
“No.” He said. “No more bullshit. No more games.” 
You definitely were not used to this version of Reid. 
You were surprised that it had taken you almost killing someone to bring out his cold side. But you supposed that everyone had a line. And you had crossed his. 
“Why didn’t you tell us you had been raped?” He asked. “Why didn’t you tell us that the rapist lived in your hometown and was a viable suspect in all of this? Why didn’t you tell us that the letter you received the other morning was just one of many your rapist sent you over the years, stalking you, obsessing over you after-?” 
“Why?” You said, your voice scraping against the word harshly as you tossed it back at him, cutting off his ranting. 
He gave you an impatient expression as it hung in the air - eyes wide, pursing his lips. 
It caused you to flare with anger. 
You let the cigarette burn down to a hot cherry between your fingers, the harsh sting against your skin being the only thing keeping you from lunging across the table and strangling him. 
You stubbed it out in the ashtray before you answered him. 
“Why didn’t I want to suddenly announce to a group of my intellectual peers that I was raped?” You echoed back, more tears gathering in the corners of your eyes - you knew that you must have looked quite crazed, especially when Hotch stiffened, and Reid’s expression dropped. “You know, when I first came to the BAU, it was the only time in my life that I wasn’t viewed as a victim.” 
“Y/N-” Spencer said your name in that gentle tone again, but you weren’t having it this time. 
“My dad left us when I was only a year old. And everybody viewed my Mama as this fucking martyr because she raised me by herself. ‘Oh poor girl. She doesn’t have a daddy. Poor little girl, all alone. Her mama does such a good job.’” You said, ranting in a crazed tone. But the floodgates had opened, and you couldn’t stop it. “Nobody wanted to talk about how my Mama was off half the time, drinking at bars, out partying with friends. She got pregnant at sixteen and she didn't want to stop having a life. God forbid I get in the way of that. I took care of my damn self! I raised myself!” 
You knew you were screaming, but you couldn’t stop it. 
“L/N-” Hotch tried speaking to you in a firmer voice. 
But you couldn’t stop. 
“Daniel only broke into the house that night because he knew I would be alone.” Your voice warbled harshly on the word, and you hated it. 
You hated the look that Reid and Hotch were giving you. 
Pity. 
That look you had been trying to avoid for so long. 
“When I came here that night and made the police report, they all knew I was bullshiting. They knew that it wasn’t a fucking burglary.” You pressed on. “But none of them said anything! They didn’t care.” 
There was a tense moment. You swallowed thickly around your own tears, holding back sobs once again. 
“Why didn’t you tell us?” Spencer tried again, seeming to be personally stuck on this point. “I asked you if something was wrong. Why didn’t you tell me?” 
“That look in your eye.” You told him, entirely honest. “That look you have right now. I - I couldn’t stand the idea of you looking at me like that forever.” 
“Daniel approached you in the parking lot of the corner store.” Hotch stated calmly. “Why did you go with him willingly? Did he have a gun on you?” 
“He had a gun.” You told him. “He did have it pointed at me. But - I didn’t have mine. I didn’t like the odds.” 
Hotch nodded at this. 
“I didn’t want him to take another girl.” You added on. “I knew they were replacements. At that point, I realized what it was. I figured nobody else should have to die because of my mistake.” 
“Mistake?” Spencer echoed back quietly. 
“Not killing him the first time.” You said, knowing this was likely a bit too honest. “I should have killed him the first time he ever put his hands on me. I should have. I wanted him dead.” 
Tears leaked hot from your eyes at this, and Spencer’s eyes grew glassy - he blinked back his own. 
“You wanted him dead, but… did you want to kill him?” Hotch posed. 
“I don’t know.”
...
“That is how heavy a secret can become. It can make blood flow easier than ink.”
-Patrick Rothfuss
...
A/N: This is a oneshot, meant to function as an episode of Criminal Minds, so please respect it as such. Please do not ask for a sequel or a continuation, because there will not be one. If you are going to comment about the work, please comment about the body of what has been written. I highly appreciate reblogs and comments if you enjoyed it, and if you want to see more of what I have written for Criminal Minds, definitely check out my Criminal Minds masterlist.
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I Know it Won’t Work || Tom Blyth x singer!reader
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Summary: You and Tom break up after three years of dating and you perform a song about the truth of the breakup for the first time live.
Warnings: slight age gap, reader is 23 and Tom is 30
Wc: 658
A/n: these r addicting to make lol. Also, changed up some lyrics for the sake of the storyline making sense. 2/4? Fics I’m posting today!
Tom Blyth x singer!reader au masterlist
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Divider by @pommecita
You let out a shaky breath, "I left you here, heard you keep the extra closet empty," You sing the first words of your unreleased song to the crowd. "In case this year, I come back and stay throughout my twenties, what if I won't? How am I supposed to put that gently?" You had just freshly turned 23 and broken up with Tom.
You honestly don't know how you ended up here, in-front of a crowd of hundreds in London. Performing in front of people was the last thing you wanted to do at the moment but you had to keep a strong front for your supporters, this show was highly anticipated.
"I've had the thought, tried to work it out through anxious pacin'" Your biggest coping mechanism was writing songs. You never knew how to really express your emotions in sentences to someone, so instead, you write them into songs. Your real feelings and emotions laced into words that in the end, formed a song.
"But it's a lot, all the shine of three happy years fadin'" The crowd watched in silence, partly because it was a new song and they did not know the lyrics to sing along, but also because they were mesmerised. Your voice held so much emotion.
Your fans weren't aware that the two of you have broken up, but a few had already pieced it up. "The whole facade, seemed to fall apart, it's complicated." Everyone viewed you and Tom as the power couple, deeply in love with one another with no flaw or doubt in the relationship
While half of it was true, the other half wasn't. The seven year age gap different had been brought up so many times throughout your relationship. You remember the first time the two of you got together, you were 20 and he was 27.
You both received heavy backlash from the internet but the two of you ignored them all. They weren't the ones in the relationship, they weren't the ones to make the call about whether or not you should be together.
"And part of me wants to walk away 'till you really listen, I hate to look at your face and know that we're feelin' different," As the three years went by, uou hoped you weren't the only one in the relationship that doubted a few things. You didn’t want to admit that other people's comments were getting to you. As the three years progressed with Tom, you felt as if you were just both in such different phases of life.
You were still so young in your early twenties and fresh in your career while it seemed that Tom was ready to settle down, marry, and start a family. He would always mention starting a family and you would listen, not really knowing what to say to him.
But recently, you came into terms with the truth that both you and Tom don't share the same feelings or goals at the moment. "Cause part of me wants you back, but, I know it won't work like that, huh?" You loved Tom, parts of you still do. He never did anything wrong, he was everything you could have ever wished for. You like to think of him as the right person, wrong time.
But nothing was going to change the fact that you two were just in different stages of life. Nothing will change the seven year age gap between the two of you. "I know we cut all the ties, but you're never really leavin'"
Tom hasn't left your mind. It would've been easier if he did. But he just couldn't. "And part of me wants you back, but, I know it won't work like that, huh?" Your voice slightly cracks, a single tear drop runs down your face. Eyes closed, you let it. The dewy stream your tear left—accentuated with the bright lights focused on you—did not go unnoticed.
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bakubunny · 6 months
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Slayyyy happy almost birthday bunny 🫶 it’s your bday but you are giving us the gift of your writing? I’ll take it.
I am on my knees asking for a fic where pro hero Kiri teaches pro hero Bakugo how to fuck reader 🤲
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a/n: thank you so much for this. 😮‍💨 it was a fun one. i got carried away for sure haha. hope it was worth the wait!
wc: 2.4k 💀
tags: aged up characters; bf!kiri; best friend!bkg; f!reader; established relationship; oral sex (m receiving); deep throating; mfm with a lil m/m action; fingering (f receiving); overstimulation; unprotected sex; creampies; sloppy seconds; katsuki has a bit of a praise kink; katsuki’s a little subby but not really; eijiro takes control
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You weren’t sure how you ended up naked between your boyfriend and your best friend, but you did.
Okay, well, you knew; you were there at the boys’ shared apartment when the topic of Katsuki’s sex life (or lack thereof) came up in conversation. Still a virgin in his late twenties, he’d focused solely on his career to the point of having a small number of relationships he’d intended to be serious, but they never took off.
Without hesitation, Eijiro said, “We’re here if you wanna see what the fuss is all about. I could show you how.”
Your eyes widened a little as you looked at Eijiro.
Katsuki’s face flushed down to his chest. “I-I don’t need you to show me how,” he sputtered. “I know what a fucking pussy looks like, give me some credit.”
Eijiro grinned, a glint in his eye. “Yeah, bro, but sex is a lot more than knowing where your dick goes. Isn’t that right, baby?” he said, turning to you.
His hand slid around your body as he pulled you into him, trying to gauge your reaction. A flush had washed over your cheeks as well; Eijiro knew you thought Katsuki was attractive and teased you about it every once in a while, but you never thought he’d suggest this.
“It-it is, yeah,” you replied.
“Have you even had your cock sucked before?” Eijiro said.
Katsuki’s face reddened further as he futzed with his hands. “Once,” he mumbled.
“So that was the only time?”
“Yes, shitty hair, the one time you sucked my dick was the single fucking time I’ve gotten a blowjob,” Katsuki spat. “Fuck, you’re so damn irritating.”
You held in a laugh at his response until Eijiro fired back.
“That can change. There’s a pretty little cock sucker right here, and I’d say she’s damn good,” he said.
“Ei!” You gave him a shoulder check, eyes wide.
“What? You know it’s true. I’m just trying to help a bro out, here,” Eijiro replied.
“Tch. He’s too nice. I doubt you’re that good,” Katsuki said under his breath.
Your brows raised as you spoke. “Oh, is that what you think? Fine.” You grabbed a throw pillow from the couch and put it on the floor. “Come here.”
Katsuki looked at you like you’d gone crazy while Eijiro’s grin grew.
“Now,” you demanded.
Slightly surprised by your tone, you could see both a hint of anger and timidity in his expression. But as you kneeled on the pillow, he walked towards you.
“Are you fucking serious right now?” Katsuki asked.
“Yes. Get your dick out.”
He hesitated. You could see the flurry of thoughts running through his head as he looked at Eijiro and down to you.
“Kats, I’ve known you for what, ten years now?” you said. “If I didn’t want this, I wouldn’t do it. Do you want a blowjob or not?”
Katsuki’s cheeks flushed again as he reached for his belt, mumbling under his breath. Maybe it was the nerves, but he was still soft when he pulled his pants and boxer briefs down. The scent of clean sweat and burnt sugar hit your nose first. Your eyes fluttered for a moment, drinking in the sight of his thick, soft cock hanging down over heavy balls. Even soft, he was still a little bigger than most guys when they’re fully hard.
“What?” he spat nervously. “Not big enough for you or somethin’?”
Eijiro caught the look in your eye, glazed over with want. “Nah, dude. Look at her.”
Staring him in the eye, Katsuki seemed to get it as a grin drew across his lips.
You leaned in, lips grazing his cock as you spoke. “Wipe that fucking smirk off your face. I doubt you’ll last more than a minute,” you teased.
His jaw clenched and you grinned taking his cock between your lips. Katsuki’s dick quickly grew in your mouth until you had to bring up a hand to support the weight and size. You sucked his cock as you let saliva pool into your mouth, spitting on his shaft every now and then to get the slick movement you needed in your mouth and under your fingers.
Katsuki huffed and panted with flushed cheeks, body tense as he watched you work. By the time he was fully hard, you could get a hand around him, but not by much. He was probably a solid eight inches if you had to guess, a little bit longer and not as thick as the dick you were well acquainted with. The same dick you could see visibly bulging in Eijiro’s shorts as he stood next to Katsuki and watched.
“Fuck, baby, you’re so pretty, doing such a good job,” Eijiro said, his voice warm and sweet.
You felt Katsuki throb between your lips as Eijiro reached out to run a hand over your head.
A shiver slid down your back as your eyes fluttered shut for a moment. “Shush, you. You’re gonna make him cum and I’m just getting started.”
Before Katsuki could protest, you started working his shaft slowly in long strokes, one hand twisting and stroking just below your lips as you used your tongue to massage the vein on the underside of his cock. You let his cock hit your throat before pulling out almost entirely and sunk back down again and again.
Katsuki’s head fell back and he whined a soft, “Holy fuck, shit, fuck.”
You felt his thigh tremble slightly under your free hand and stopped. He panted.
“If you’re gonna insult my cock sucking skills, you’re gonna watch me when I prove you wrong,” you said. “Dunno if I should continue though. I’m not sure you like it. You’re pretty quiet.”
His head snapped forward and he looked you in the eye, full of hunger and a thread of desperation, fists clenched tight. “Please,” he whispered.
You grinned and stroked the head of his cock. Another groan left his lips.
“Please, what, Kats?”
Frustration built on his face. It was hidden by a little anxiety, but you could see his desire to let anger take control from you. You waited for him to swallow his pride.
“Suck my cock. Please suck my cock,” he said.
You kissed his red, angry tip. “That’s what I like to hear.”
Katsuki moaned as you took him back in your mouth, working his shaft again without moving too quickly to be just a little nice. You grabbed his hand and putting it on the back of your head.
“I’m gonna take a breath, and when I look up, you push a little. You’re not gonna hurt me. I’ll push myself off if I need you to stop.”
You caught Eijiro flushed and grinning, palming his bulge through his shorts in the corner of your eye and tried not to smile too hard when you saw Katsuki’s wide eyes before you looked away. As promised, you took a good breath and looked up before sinking his cock between your slack jawed lips, pushing further when he hit the back of your mouth. After a couple of tries, he slipped down your throat and you sunk until your nose pressed into the wirey blond hair at the base of his dick. Katsuki groaned and watched in disbelief as your eyes watered and rolled in pleasure, a shudder running down your back.
“Oh fuck, shit, I’m gon-” He was cut off with a whining moan as he came.
You bobbed your head and gently massaged his balls as he throbbed, shooting his load down your throat. You pulled off with a gasp, drool on your chin and tears in your eyes. Katsuki stepped back and a familiar, callused hand pulled you into his groin. You whimpered.
“Ei, really?” you said.
“Yeah, baby. You look so fucking pretty, I need more of you. Show him what a good girl you are, hmm?”
You sighed. “You’re lucky I love you and your dick.”
Eijiro pulled his shorts down and you greedily made quick work of getting him off. The feeling of his hands in your hair amplified every little sensation of pleasure, though it was brief.
You took Eijiro’s offered hand to stand and wiped your chin as you turned to Katsuki. “Now, what have we learned?” you teased.
“I was fucking wrong, okay? And…” his voice fell quiet. “Maybe I’d be okay with learnin’ a thing or two.”
A shared look with Eijiro told you he was far more excited about this than he should be.
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Eijiro held you as you leaned back into his chest, his arms wrapped around you. Katsuki awkwardly lined his dick up with your wet cunt.
“Don’t push in right away, tease her a little bit,” he said.
You whimpered. Eijiro and Katsuki had already done that plenty between the two of them; two pairs of hands wandering your body, two pairs of lips tracing their way across your skin, one that felt like home and another that was nervous and unpracticed but greedy. Two hands that took turns fingering your achy cunt until Katsuki was able to pull you over the edge as you shook and clenched around his hand, and Eijiro had worked worked you back up immediately after despite your protests from overstimulation.
The head of Katsuki’s dick ran over your clit. You whined again as pleasure washed over you.
“Kats, c’mon please?”
Before Eijiro could stop him, Katsuki was sinking the head of his cock into your heat as you both groaned. He panted heavily and a shaky whine left his throat. Katsuki throbbed inside of you as he pushed in slowly, so overwhelmed by the tight, velvety feeling wrapped around his cock that he almost came when he bottomed out, hips meeting yours. He hadn’t even moved yet and his head was spinning.
Eijiro’s dick twitched against your back. “That’s it, just go slow. You look so fucking good,” he said.
Katsuki throbbed again and his grip on your body tightened. “Shut the fuck up, shitty hair. I’m tryna fuck your girlfriend.”
“You want my help or not?” The grin plastered on his face was almost smug.
“Don’t need your fuckin’ comments,” Katsuki replied.
He waited for his head to stop swirling a little before trying with short, tentative thrusts that started slow and got faster before he stopped. Katsuki paused to keep himself from losing his mind and started again. Though it wasn’t much movement, he was so big that it still made you whine as Eijiro groped and teased your tits.
“H-harder,” you said.
He pushed his hips deeper without really pulling out. Katsuki couldn’t think beyond the grip of your cunt, wasn’t sure if he’d actually be able to fuck you and if he kept this train of thoughts going, he’d probably go soft and look like a huge fucking idiot. He was stuck in his head when Eijiro pulled his head together.
“Bro, relax. You’re doing just fine,” Eijiro said. “Pull out more before you thrust.”
Katsuki’s thrust, though tentative, changed to one that was long and dragged against your sweet spot. He pulled a gasp from you once he got the hang of it, fucking you harder with each snap of his hips.
“That’s it. Fuck that pretty pussy like you mean it,” Eijiro said, a heated roughness settling into his voice.
Katsuki grunted with a hint of frustration, his thrusts getting continually harder as you moaned, skin slapping on skin slowly filling the room. “Wha’d I say about the damn talkin’?”
“You like it,” you said.
“Shut yer fuckin’ mouth,” he replied, articulating it with a hard thrust. “You don’t know what I like.”
Eijiro grabbed Katsuki by the face and leaned in a little. “No, but I do. C’mon, Kats, make her take your fucking cock.”
Katsuki groaned louder than you expected at Eijiro’s slight show of dominance, his thrusts getting sloppy as a shudder ran down your back.
“That’s it, such a good boy,” Eijiro said. “Gonna fill that pretty cunt for me, aren’t you?”
Katsuki moaned as heat flooded your core and you whined in return, not quite close enough to get off before his hips softened and slowed to a stop.
“Fuck you, dickhead,” Katsuki grumbled, no malice behind his words.
“Don’t tempt me,” he replied. “Get out of the way and I’ll show you how it’s really done. Ass up, princess.”
Cum slid down your ass when Katsuki pulled out. You turned over and laid yourself on Katsuki’s chest, back arched and waiting while Eijiro got behind you. He gave your ass a playful smack as he started down at your messy cunt.
“Fuck, you look so perfect like this. Should get you covered in Kats’ cum more often,” he said.
“Baby, will you please just - oh fuck-”
Eijiro grabbed you by the hips and pushed in without warning, his girth a welcome change. The weight of his hips pounded into you as you moaned, eyes rolling as Katsuki watched. Just the pressure of Eijiro’s hips hitting yours had you coming undone as he pulled you up and into him, fucking a deep, tender spot that made you see stars.
“Tch. Y’really like gettin’ fucked hard, huh?” Katsuki said.
You managed a groan of approval, already too lost in pleasure to form a coherent response, the wet sound of Eijiro’s balls clapping against your clit filling your head.
“You’re so cute when you’re getting fucked stupid like this. Can’t even speak,” Eijiro said.
Eijiro’s fingertips dug into your hips, a grunt on his lips. Your legs started to shake, shockwaves of pleasure washing over you.
“Kiss him, baby,” he demanded.
Weakly, you pushed yourself and leaned in towards Katsuki’s face. He grabbed you, kissing you hard, the smoothness of his tongue amplifying the electric feeling on your skin. Eijiro reached down and rubbed circles into your clit. You moaned into Katsuki’s mouth, your vision going white as a shudder rippled down your body and you came, your core fluttering and clenching hard. Eijiro fucked you through your orgasm with a heavy groan as he came with you, filling you with his seed.
Still inside you, Eijiro collapsed and held you in his arms next to Katsuki. “We’re definitely doing this again.”
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tagging the gremlins bc i just know y’all need to see this.
gremlins: @callm3senpaii @arlerts-angel @dcsiremc @darkstarlight82 @bookcluberror @breadandbutter33 @i-literally-cant-with-this @she-who-writes-for-multi-fandoms @rinalouu @stvrfir3 @r4td0lll @emmab3mma @mhadabiandhawks4eva @aria-chikage @gold24fish @yazminetrahan @doumadono @dreamcastgirl99 @maddietries @jazzafayesworld @karebear5118 @unofficialmuilover
if you’d like to join my tag list, let me know. ♡
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ewanmitchellcrumbs · 4 months
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Hallowed
Pairing: Michael Gavey (Saltburn) x f!reader Warnings: Toxic relationship dynamics, face sitting, smut. Word count: ~1.3k
Summary: Her Early Medieval Literature essay is due, and Michael has his own cruel way of ensuring she stays focused.
Author's note: Can be read as part two of this fic, but also works as a standalone. Day six of the Smuffmas prompts - "future and face sitting". No tag list. Follow @fics-by-ewanmitchellcrumbs and turn on post notifications.
She lounges on Michael’s bed, clad in only knickers and one of his t-shirts, a copy of the Canterbury Tales grasped lightly between her fingers. Her eyes move over the words of Chaucer, but take none of them in, how could they? His long fingers draw lazy circles on her ankle, her legs stretched out up to the pillows where he reclines, the duvet wrapped around his bare midriff while he reads from a textbook called the Book of Proof.
Life feels simpler since Michael has entered it, despite the turbulent beginnings. She has given up her friends, under his advice, and there is now far less pressure to conform. Her only focuses are her studies and pleasing him, the latter of the two she takes great pleasure in.
It is always on his terms; when they see each other, what they do, how they do it, and despite his obvious initial inexperience he is a fast learner. His ability to make her fall apart, to make her relinquish all control is something he does expertly. The slight fear she feels towards him only adds to the excitement; he could destroy her if he wanted to, but if she plays nicely then he won’t, and she is more than happy to play nicely when the rewards for doing so are as satisfying as they are.
She sighs, his fingers upon her flesh making her core throb with want, even from the simple gesture of absentmindedly touching her leg. She lets her book slip from her fingers, raising up on her elbow to look at him.
“Michael…” she whines.
He looks at her impassively, adjusting his glasses. “The first of your three essays is due soon, isn’t it?”
“Mmm,” she responds with a roll of her eyes, flopping back down and stretching her arms above her head. “Early Medieval Literature.”
His hand moves from her ankle, fingertips ghosting over the exposed skin between the hem of his t-shirt and the waistband of her underwear. “And what have you written?”
She shivers beneath his touch, squirming slightly. “Am I really here to study?”
“I’ve no interest in sleeping with a failing literature student,” he pulls his hand away and she immediately misses his warmth. “So tell me.”
She groans in frustration. “Oh, I don’t know. Probably something about irony in the Merchant’s Tale.”
His textbook thuds closed and she hears the heavy sound of him dropping it onto the bedside table. When she chances to glance up at him she sees he is sitting straighter in the bed, his gaze hardened as he looks at her. “Probably?! You mean you haven’t started it? Have you even thought about your thesis statement, your in-depth analysis or how you’re going to conclude your ideas, if you’ve even had any?”
“Oh, come on,” she says softly, sitting up and reaching for him. “There’s still time. Can’t we just–”
“No,” he cuts her off. “I’ve been spoiling you, and it’s made you stupid.”
“I’m not stupid!” She protests. “If I remember correctly, it was you who called my degree a ‘glorified book club’.”
“You still need to try,” he tells her, frowning.
“You don’t try,” she argues with a shrug,” and marks in your first year don’t count towards the final degree.”
“I don’t have to try, but I still get firsts in everything. Marks this year may not count towards the final degree you get, but they count towards you keeping your scholarship. Think about your future instead of being a fucking brat for once in your life.”
His words are a sharp sting to her already fragile ego, and she lowers her gaze, fighting the sudden urge to cry.
“I’m not touching you again until your essay’s handed in and I’ve seen what your mark is.”
Her head snaps up, eyes wide with disbelief as she looks at him, searching his features for any indication that he’s being unserious. She finds none; he really means it.
“And you’re not to touch yourself. I’ll know.”
The next two weeks are torturous for her. On the occasions that Michael does invite her to his room, there is no more casual half dressed lounging on his bed. Instead, he has a study space set up for her at his desk, and won’t allow her to speak or leave until she has at least a thousand words written. 
They meet up in the library during free periods so that he can read through what she’s written, and her skin burns hot with humiliation each time he screws up a page and throws it into the waste paper bin, calling her arguments “lazy” and “uninspired”.
It lights a fire of determination beneath her, but bubbling under the surface is also a heightened state of arousal, driven by the lack of intimacy, and the fact that she finds that she likes it when he is so authoritative over her.
By the time she has finished, she has produced an essay that both her and Michael are satisfied with; it discusses the use of irony in Chaucer’s poem, the Merchant's Tale. She has used a number of excerpts and lines from the poem for analysis, revealing the instances of irony in each, and from this has determined that the irony Chaucer used in the Merchant's Tale is controlled.
Her eyes light up when Professor Ware hands it back, and she sees the 85% that’s circled at the top of it.
A first.
She feels giddy with excitement as she knocks on Michael’s door that evening, brandishing the now dog-eared pages at him as he opens the door.
“A first, I got a first!” She squeals, watching as he takes the essay from her, his eyes moving slowly over the top page.
“Hmmm,” he settles it down on the desk, removing his glasses and placing them on top. “Take off your jeans and underwear.”
“Wha–what?” She stammers, her grin fading.
“You want your reward, don’t you?” He asks, moving to lay back on the bed.
She swallows thickly, excitement fluttering in her lower belly, as she quickly complies, ridding herself of the clothing that covers her lower half.
“Come here,” he commands softly.
She joins him on the bed, a gasp leaving her as he manhandles her until her knees are positioned either side of his head.
“My clever girl,” he whispers. His words could be mistaken for softness, were they not directly juxtaposed by the rapid darkening of his blue eyes, and the way his thumbs drag across the indentations between her thighs and pelvis. “I knew you could do it, you just needed a little…push.”
He drags his tongue from her opening all the way to her pearl, and her jaw goes slack, the wet sensation making her clench as she falls forward, hands clawing at the wall in front of her.
His grip on her thighs tightens and he tugs her flush against his face, the sloppy sounds of him devouring her are lewd combined with the wanton cries of pleasure that tumble from her lips.
She feels her mind go blank as he inserts his tongue inside of her, keeping it rigid as she begins to grind herself in a circular motion, keeping his nose pressed against where she needs it most, desperately chasing the release she’s needed the last couple of weeks.
His hum of appreciation reverberates through her core, and as he withdraws from her, plush lips wrapping around her sensitive bundle of nerves she feels herself fall apart as the growing ache intensifies, completely at his mercy as he laps at her, while white hot waves of pleasure wash over her.
She raises up when it becomes too much, jerking at how oversensitive she feels and gazes down at him through heavy lidded eyes, breathless.
He looks like an utterly different person without his glasses, almost kind, though she knows better. His chin is shiny with her slick as he smirks up at her.
“You’ve worked so hard,” he says quietly, though the edge of malevolence to his voice is unmistakable. “But don’t worry, you can give that pretty little mind of yours a rest while I fuck you stupid again.”
She is powerless to resist as he tugs her back to his face once more, beginning the exquisite torture all over again.
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neptuneiris · 6 months
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sparks (epilogue)
Yeah, I saw sparks And I saw sparks
pairing: business-boyfriend!aemond x fem!reader
summary: at the beginning your relationship with aemond is perfect and there were no worries. until he becomes the Heir of his father's company, the most important in the whole country and certain events and certain people start to interfere in the relationship.
word count: 9.4k
previous part • series masterlist
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sorry for the delay, I had some inconveniences, but here it is finally!
unfortunately everything has an end and the time has come for this other fic of mine that i have really loved writing
i never imagined that you would like it so much, which is the same thing i say with every single thing i write and post, i know haha, but i am really surprised how much you like my ideas and how much you support me, seriously thank you
i hope that in the future we can see more of this aemond and this reader, whom i keep in my heart. i loved this idea and i am very happy that you loved it too
i love you beautiful people, see you very soon in my next fics, thanks for all the support to sparks:)
warnings: angst, language, sexual content, smut
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Never before in your life have you felt so uncomfortable being in Aemond's presence.
How did we come to this?
You ask yourself, incredulous and with sadness in your chest, as you can't even look at him.
The awkwardness lingers because you both have seen each other again after almost five long months where you knew nothing about each other, also because everything between you ended badly and it's just too much now to be here together in his car… alone.
At first when Jenna got out of the car once you got to her dorm you thought about staying in the back seats, but you knew it wouldn't make any sense, neither did Aemond say anything to you but you decided not to make this even more uncomfortable.
So you got out of the car, said goodbye to her and with your shaky legs you move to the passenger seat.
You avoid looking at him at all times as you buckle up, but the shoulder-to-shoulder approach seems too much for you and the space in the car feels small even though you've been in here before.
You both watch as Jenna enters her residence building safely and once you see her disappear through the glass doors, an awkward silence envelops you both even with his music playing in the background.
Until finally your dumb brain reacts and uncomfortably you shuffle in the seat, swallow hard as your throat feels dry and you bite your lips for a second.
Aemond tries not to look at you, but does so out of the corner of his eye, as he looks straight ahead with an expectant gaze while keeping one hand on his chin and the other on the steering wheel.
Clearly he's waiting for directions, which you don't understand in the first few seconds, feeling incredibly nervous.
"It's four blocks down, then left," you point out trying not to make your voice sound nervous.
He doesn't say anything, just understands the directions and starts the car again.
You watch the window at all times, avoiding eye contact of any kind with Aemond, who is totally focused on the road and also feels the same way as you, where neither of you knows what to say.
And now you are both here, again with that silence between the two of you and that heavy tension in the air that makes you both feel uncomfortable, since not even the music helps. Neither of you speaks for as long as the drive lasts.
So it's easier for both of you to just keep quiet and wait for this to be over.
You on your side also experience a mixture of intense emotions. You want to talk to him, you really want to try, you even want to offer him your condolences for his father's death, but you can't find the right words to speak and the worry that you will make things worse keeps you silent.
Aemond on the one hand wants to break the ice and find a way to try to talk to you, but the uncertainty and fear of rejection paralyze him.
It's very difficult, he can't, he doesn't feel capable and all he feels is that sharp pain in his chest.
Not to mention the incredible nerves you feel all over your body.
As the ride continues, you watch in the distance as some lightning flashes in the night sky, catching your attention. You briefly glance out of the corner of your eye at Aemond but continue to keep your gaze firmly on the window.
Not until a few minutes later a gentle rain begins to fall, creating a sort of melancholy atmosphere, which you don't know if that makes the whole situation worse.
But there are also more words you want to say, but you just can't.
The raindrops gently tap against the windshield, Aemond turns on the windshield wipers and slows down a bit.
You realize that it's not long before you have to tell him what your building is, but you still feel that lump in your throat that prevents you from speaking, even to tell him something as simple as that.
You recognize that you were the one who broke up with him and that although it hurt you too and you also suffered, you also recognize that you caused him more pain by deciding to end it all that way, taking advantage of his situation.
But you really want to offer him your heartfelt condolences, to let him know that despite everything, you still care about him, but you feel the great tension all over your body.
What right do you have to say something like that to him after what happened?
What right do you have to be empathetic with him in that regard when what you did with him trying to find you to fix things, was that you blocked him from everywhere and just disappeared from his life as if you never existed?
And you can't imagine all that he must have gone through, all that he must have felt and all that he must have endured as well for his promotion in the company.
You know you have no right.
You know the damage you caused and the most acceptable thing would have been for you to have sought him out when it just happened, but you didn't.
You honestly don't know what these months have been like for him and in trying to find the words to be able to talk to him, you don't need to, as he talks.
More than anything Aemond asks you the first thing that comes to his mind after briefly seeing some small buildings with the name of your university below the name of the residence hall, breaking the silence.
"You live in a dorm now?"
He asks you with a certain disinterested and casual tone, which still makes you feel nervous, mostly at the thought of what you will say to him before you speak, still feeling that tension and awkwardness in the air.
"Yeah," you reply softly almost in a trembling tone as you still stare out the window, "Yeah, it wasn't hard to request it in the middle of the semester, you know… because of the scholarship."
You bite your lips, feeling really very nervous indeed even though the ice has been broken, though not really. And Aemond only hums in a nodding sound, not taking his gaze off the road and not saying anything else.
You bite your lips again, wishing he would say something back, anything, so you can talk to him, tell him what you want to tell him, but the words continue to get stuck in your throat and he says nothing more.
The ride continues for a few more long minutes until you see through the window that it is almost time to tell him which building is yours, causing you to despair.
Now or never.
You say to yourself, then begin to gather bravery and fill with courage, finally letting out a long breath and without thinking too much, you look at him again and speak.
"I'm sorry about your father," you say in a soft and compassionate voice, daring to look at him.
A complex mixture of feelings invade Aemond inside, definitely not expecting that.
He hides his astonishment, still fixing his eyes on the road, suddenly feeling a knot in his stomach, as well as feeling a warmth expand throughout his chest at your words.
He doesn't know what to say.
Much less what to do.
What would have happened if you had been with him at the time when his father left this world and he went on to become the head of all Targaryen Inc?
Even though the two of you didn't end well and now he feels that support from you towards him, however small it may be, it still made him feel grateful.
Although… he can't help but feel sad too, as inevitably his mind takes him back to remembering the good times when you and he were together.
Your words spill out all over the inside of the car, suddenly feeling vulnerable and exposed due to his lack of response, until he finally clears his throat as he shifts a little uncomfortably in his seat, then nods, even though he doesn't return your gaze.
Probably everything would have been a little easier.
That's why he also feels a bit angry to see once again how everything is now between the two of you, where there is no longer an 'us'.
"Thank you," he says back in a soft, emotionless voice, not daring to look at you.
And again another awkward silence sets in.
You want to ask him how he is, what he has done, how is the company, his mother, Hel, even Aegon and Daeron, you want to know what happened to his grandsire and Alys Rivers, but again… you can't speak.
At least you're thankful he didn't ignore you after you ignored him and you feel a weight off your heart, you look out the window again while biting your lower lip, still feeling that awkwardness and that tension all over the air, but strangely feeling a little relieved.
And finally that moment comes, you see your residence in the distance.
With this also coming to an end, with a resigned feeling you point to the building, again feeling on edge just from talking to him.
"It's over there," you point to him and he doesn't say anything to you, just starts to pull up to the curb to park.
You swallow hard and Aemond brings the car to a complete stop, right in front of the doors of your building, then continues to stare ahead, expectantly, waiting for the moment when you will get out of his car and probably never see you again.
With a sadness in your chest, you grab your phone and also your purse to get out, also being aware that after this, you probably won't see him again for a while. Or maybe never again, because of your new job position.
And that disappoints you, makes you feel sad and inevitably, you resist the urge to cry.
"Thank you, I really appreciate it," you tell him honestly and sincerely, placing your hand on the handle to open the door and walk out.
He just hums back with a slight nod, not watching you, his hand resting on the steering wheel and the other on his chin, his gaze straight ahead, which hurts you, that he can't even watch you. At least not at this moment.
Because he doesn't want to see you go again.
He doesn't want to have another image of you leaving, leaving him, not knowing when he will see you again or if he will even see you again.
Again you feel that sharp pain in your chest as he apart from not being able to watch you, he can not even speak to you again, just waiting for this to be over and nothing more.
Although… just as you are about to open the door to leave and enter your building, you stop.
And you understand. You understand his lack of interactivity and also his lack of words. But this is just as painful for you as it is for him.
Your shoulders slump from the tension you were feeling, suddenly feeling defeated and like you have nothing left to lose. That's why you stop all your movements and with a thoughtful and disappointed look, with your lips parted you turn to watch him.
And that's when you finally ask him the question that was always invading your mind since you broke up with him, even crying, being more of a statement than a question but now you can finally know his answer.
Aemond frowns slightly as he notices out of the corner of his eye how you stop and don't get out of his car.
He feels your gaze on him and when you don't move any further nor say anything to him, he finally looks directly into your eyes with a confused and expectant expression at the same time.
You know your question is risky, but you need to know.
"Do you hate me?"
You ask him with uncertainty in your voice, your eyes full of sadness.
"Because of how I ended things?"
A heavy silence again fills the interior of the car for a moment with your words hovering, as Aemond feels astonishment again but hides it well, also not expecting to hear those words from you, as an unfamiliar feeling settles in his chest.
He remains completely silent, thinking about your question and also what he will tell you next.
Answer with the truth or be just as cruel to you, as you were to him, even if it's not true?
The simple question in his mind makes him feel absurd and also makes him scold himself, as it doesn't make any sense.
The sound of the light rain still patters softly against the car, the lightning continues to reflect every minute, his music also plays softly in the background in that delicate moment, where you wait for an answer and he feels a whirlwind of emotions, contemplating the question with seriousness.
And finally he breaks the silence between the two of you, deciding to answer your question honestly, still focused on the road and not watching you.
"No."
His voice is clear, but with a slight sadness and his answer makes you feel more that pain in your chest and also that a new knot forms in your throat, feeling more the urge to cry, but inexplicably you feel a relief inside because of his answer.
Despite everything, he doesn't hate you.
You think with wonder and longing, for he should hate you, really. Yet he doesn't. And you don't know if that just makes everything worse.
"I-I thought…" you begin to say, trying to control your trembling voice, "I thought you had moved on and—
And after his confession, Aemond lets out another long breath, not saying or doing anything else, still expectant of what you will do, whether you will finally get off or say something else.
And you nod your head slightly as you bite the inside of your cheek, chasing away your tears.
You stop as you hear him let out an incredulous snort with an amused grin, shaking his head, averting his gaze from the road for a moment, feeling anger sweep through his body.
"Do I look like I've moved on?"
And before you can say anything else, he speaks again.
He asks you as he finally watches you with disbelief and anticipation in his gaze. And you bite your lips, further controlling the urge to cry, as Aemond turns his gaze forward, clenching his jaw in annoyance.
"You did what you thought was right and necessary at the time," he says seriously, "It wasn't what I wanted but I don't blame you because I know I made mistakes too," he acknowledges, "My father's death just made everything worse," he says finally, still with annoyance in his gaze.
And right after his words and silence again settles between the two of you, you know you have nothing more to do here.
The rain continues to fall and with your heart in a fist, you finally decide to get out of his car and take refuge in your room, where you will cry yourself to sleep. So you grab the door handle, making sure one last time that you have all your things with you.
You withdraw your tears and speak without daring to look at him.
"Thanks again for the ride."
You tell him for the last time in your soft, sad, broken voice, controlling your emotions and your sobs.
And just as you open the door and the sound of the rain becomes more audible, before one of your legs touches the ground and you get completely out of the car, this time it is Aemond's voice that stops you.
"And do you hate me?"
His question with a soft tone makes you stop immediately, making you freeze in surprise for a moment, since you did not expect that, and then slowly turn your gaze back to him, where he is already watching you with the same need to know your answer as you were watching him before.
He notices your glassy eyes, he notices your sadness and also how you are controlling your crying, he notices it all. And you also notice the sadness in his eyes, that longing that you can't really explain.
Because you also feel that same longing inside you.
"Do you hate me for not fighting hard enough for you?"
And in that moment, you both know he means everything.
For not fighting Otto Hightower, Alys Rivers and his work hard enough. For allowing everything to escalate, for not fixing it soon enough, for making you reach your breaking point and that's why you decided to break up with him.
And you… had never thought about it, about hating him. But you immediately know the answer, without hesitation.
"No."
And again Aemond feels caught in a whirlpool of emotions.
His gaze reflects slight surprise and also slight relief, but also regret. He honestly didn't expect to hear that answer from you. And his surprise is mixed with his confusion.
Even though his own grandsire interfered in the relationship and also his possible partner Alys Rivers in a completely improper way, where they both pretended you didn't exist and he didn't do enough to protect you and the relationship, he wonders in confusion: why? Why don't you hate him?
"You don't even do with knowing that I could have done more to make it all work?" he asks you softly and uncertainly, "So we could have been together?"
You focus your gaze on the rain-fogged windshield, watching the drops fall and slide down the glass, as you again feel a lump in your throat and process his words.
You bite your lips, again feeling the urge to cry.
Honestly you did had wanted him to have fought harder for you, for both of you. But you know it wasn't his fault. It was just things he couldn't control, things that weren't entirely in his hands.
You know that work is work and he really tried by putting his boundaries firm with Rivers and also by worrying all the time about you, all the time making you his priority.
But sadly it wasn't enough.
You let out a sigh and with your eyes on the rain, still feeling a mix of complex emotions, you speak in your calm and soft voice, mostly honest, but at the same time with a touch of sadness and resignation.
"No, I don't hate you," you clarify again, "It's not fair to blame you for what happened, the situation was complicated and we both made mistakes," you watch him with your teary eyes, "And I know I owe you an apology."
Aemond's gaze contracts into one more of sadness, watching you intently but with that hard look on his features where he tries not to break down, as the rain out there intensifies and you gently close the door again.
"I'm really sorry," you sigh, in a light sob, "I'm really sorry that I took advantage of your trip to give you no time at all. I never meant to hurt you like that," you tell him honestly, "I did what I thought was right. But you didn't deserve that."
Aemond feels a slight ache in his chest, with that feeling of sadness again taking over and his mind goes back to the past, to remembering that horrible day in that horrible moment, when you left him without looking back.
And he thinks of all he could have done and all he could have been.
But despite this, he feels a flash of relief to know that you don't really hate him, but he is also overcome with regret for apologizing to him, when he never felt the need or thought you owed him an apology before.
Just like you, he feels remorse, a longing, and that longing inside him that still lingers and grows bigger.
"I regret… everything," he tells you in a soft, low murmur, drawing your full attention, "I regret not trying harder, not showing you how much you meant to me…" he pauses a little, "Not stopping my grandsire sooner... and I'm really sorry, for everything I put you through."
And he tells you all this with restrained emotion, feeling completely vulnerable and sincere, wanting you to understand the depth of his feelings.
And you do, you really do.
But honestly, you can't take this anymore.
The rain is getting heavier and heavier and what you need is to release all the tears you've been holding back for a while now. And you don't want to cry in front of him, simply because you don't want to look so vulnerable and you want to get it over with, because in the end, he will go back to his own way and you will go back to yours.
And it's better for you to end it once and for all before it gets harder for you.
"You don't have to apologize," you say through your held back tears, "But if that's what you need to say, it's okay, I understand."
You try to keep calm in your voice, but there is a mixture of sadness and understanding in your tone. And even though Aemond feels a weight less on his shoulders, the sadness is persistent and he says nothing more, with silence enveloping them.
And that's when you decide it's time to leave.
"Take care of yourself, okay? And thanks again."
You don't watch him when you say it, you don't dare to watch him, to watch as you again leave him behind, as you quickly wipe the tears that have escaped from your cheeks and again place your hand on the handle to open the door, turning your back on him.
And here it comes, the ultimate goodbye.
Aemond noticing all this, with his sad, desperate, anguished and worried expression, says to himself too: now or never.
And again he stops you with his words.
"I fired my grandsire."
He says to you in a tone just as desperate as his face, almost in a needy tone, again stopping you and making your breath catch for a moment, listening to him carefully.
"As soon as I became head, I fired him," he tells you more plainly, watching you sadly and desperately, "Rhaenyra took his place and I never associated with Rivers," he says and between your parted lips in surprise, "In the end I cut all connection with her and her company. And instead I successfully partnered with Rodrik Greyjoy, who has connections to Dorne and Essos."
You turn your gaze slowly back to him, where he is already watching you, being completely honest with every word he is saying, drawing your attention and making you focus entirely on him, now knowing the answer to the questions you asked yourself in the pub when you saw him.
And… you don't know what to say.
His grandsire and Rivers, they're both just not around anymore.
And probably if Aemond had become the boss sooner, maybe you and he would still be together. And that's what hurts you the most, that Aemond couldn't act sooner until he was the boss.
And how you wish you could have been present at that moment in his life.
Aemond averts his gaze from yours for a moment, where neither of you say anything else nor do anything else, submerging you back into that silence that is eclipsed a bit by his music and also the rain outside.
And Aemond again summons up the courage to ask you what has been going through his mind since the relationship ended, all the while feeling a sadness inside, along with helplessness, frustration and jealousy, thinking the worst.
"Do you…" he pauses for a moment, feeling the bitterness in his tone that he can't help, "Do you have someone new?"
Your eyes immediately meet his, who watches you completely attentive to your answer, wanting, no, needing to know that question that has tormented him every night and day, making him feel jealous and annoyed.
And your gaze shows a mixture of emotions, from mild surprise to sadness and indecision. But not because of the question, but because of him.
How could he think you have someone new when he's been the greatest love of your life so far?
Practically Aemond has ruined every other man for you and you are still completely in love with him. But you understand his question, because of the sudden way you decided to break up with him.
And honestly, you too sometimes wondered the same thing, if he had found someone else or if he finally decided to get involved with Rivers.
"No," you answer him truthfully.
Just you.
You want to say, but the words get stuck in your throat.
And Aemond feels a huge relief course through his body, as he looks away from yours once more and nods his head slowly, running a hand over his chin.
And you can't help but ask him the same question with a certain cautious tone, just to make sure.
"Do you—
"Of course not," he tells you immediately, still with sadness in his gaze.
And that to this day still lingers, just in the same way that you are still in love with him.
It's also absurd for him for you to return the question, since finding someone new was the last thing on his mind.
And even though he moved on with his life and his work more than anything else, his mind and heart were still anchored to you in a way that he couldn't get over.
Aemond unable to contain his emotions any longer, finally tells you the words that have been stuck in his throat for a while now in a trembling voice.
"I haven't stopped thinking about you, not even for a moment, since you left."
His gaze meets yours, feeling just as vulnerable as you did before, as your eyes fill with emotion, longing and surprise, beginning to feel your heart beating too hard, unable to control your heart rate.
"I came to keep Floris company because I knew you would come, that's the only reason I decided to show up, because I wanted to see you again and try to talk to you, fix what I couldn't fix before, if you would let me," he tells you honestly, then lets out a bitter laugh to himself, "How could I have anyone else when it's clear I'm still completely crazy about you?" he slowly shakes his head, "I still love you, more than you or anyone else could ever imagine."
And it is there, in his most sincere confession, that he tells you that he still loves you in his slightly trembling voice.
And you for a moment, you are silent, struggling to contain your emotions. However… inevitably tears begin to slide down your cheeks freely, uncontrollably.
Tears of happiness, excitement, surprise, but also of sadness and nostalgia simply because of the situation. And Aemond seeing your state, feels like a dagger piercing his heart, still hating to see you cry and it's worse when he knows you're crying for him.
But before he can say anything to you to stop you from crying, feeling guilty, you with your emotions running high, suddenly feeling a liberating impulse, you let yourself go.
"Oh Aemond," you sigh through your tears.
And without giving him time to anticipate anything, surprisingly in an act necessitated by that impulse so suddenly in your system, you lean fully into him and press your lips to his.
And Aemond without thinking at all, though still in surprise, wastes no time at all and kisses you back in an equally needy way, also leaning completely into you, where one of his large, firm hands takes you around the back of your neck to hold you close, kissing you deep and slow.
You gasp softly into his mouth at the sensation, then move your lips again in rhythm with him, feeling every texture of his lips, those lips you missed so much, bringing your hands around his neck, clinging completely to him.
You both almost devour each other, it being a kiss with a slight mingling of teeth and where it feels so fucking good, his lips moving in coordination with yours, deep.
And you find yourself responding to his kiss now that way, being completely addictive, enjoying his warm and consuming lips, not wanting to stop, feeling your desire increase every second for wanting to feel his closeness, also that little tingle in your between leg.
"Fuck baby," he sighs into your mouth.
Then his tongue makes its way all the way inside your mouth, unable to help it, making you gasp and feel a curious sensation in your lower abdomen as well from your nickname that you haven't heard in a while.
"I love you too," you tell him in between kisses, "So fucking much. Never stop doing so."
Aemond groans in your lips, feeling that warmth from before expanding again in his chest when he hears your words, as well as he feels a fire starting to grow inside him that makes him take you with his other free hand from his hip and forces you to sit in his lap.
His moist, warm mouth welcomes you back, taking in the slight smell of beer and cigarette which doesn't displease you at all, on the contrary, it makes you continue to more fervently caress your lips with his in a deep way in wet sounds.
It's not complicated even though you are both inside his car and the steering wheel is right behind you, being a little uncomfortable, but you don't mind.
So with the same need he has to feel you close, you make yourself comfortable and with your hand around the edge of his jaw, bring his face closer to yours to kiss him again.
This way Aemond can hold both hands on your face, keeping you exactly where he wants you, then gently caress your curves and breathe hard against your face.
"I love you so much," he murmurs against you between kisses, kissing you again, "I can't get enough of you."
You slide one of your hands down his chest, inhaling deeply to return his demanding kisses, as he continues with his hands on your hips, pressing you against him, letting you feel what is happening inside his pants.
You almost let out a whimper as you feel his rigid, hard, hot arousal beneath you, almost below your center, where your juices begin to flow.
"Did you miss me?"
He asks you in a low, husky murmur, completely aroused, then pulls his lips away from yours and begins to leave soft, wet kisses down your neck, starting a trail, making you gasp loudly and tilt your head to the side to give him more accessibility.
You bite your lower lip as his hands go all the way down and briefly caress your thighs, then squeeze and lightly caress the soft skin of your ass above your skirt, increasing your arousing desire all over your insides.
"Yes baby, all the time," you reply with a little difficulty, panting and breathing hard.
"Miss you too," he says in a hoarse murmur as he kisses your collarbone, your throat and again your neck.
Placing your hand back on one of his cheeks, you kiss him again with need, beginning to move smoothly and deeply back and forth your hips against him, his hardness slamming directly against your center, making you moan.
Aemond lets out a deep growl as he feels the friction of your movements against him, squeezing both of your ass cheeks with more fervor, not wanting you to stop.
Simply everything around you both disappears at that moment, the rain is still coming down hard and you're both too busy to worry if someone will walk by and see you like this.
"I want you, now," he murmurs against your lips, breathing and panting just as hard as you are.
And this catches your attention, causing you to stop kissing him and watch him at the eye that is fully dilated and full of lust and arousal, which you also know your eyes must be like this.
And as much as you want to calm that slight delicious ache of arousal in your nerve center since it's been too long since he was last inside you, at that moment you remember where you are and look around, barely being able to see anything through the rain-fogged glass, but still causing you hesitation.
"But..." you say with your voice and look not entirely convinced, again trying to see something through the glass, "H-here?"
"It's been so long," he tells you, again leaving wet kisses on your neck that make you shiver all over, trying to convince you.
"I know b-but… "you say still undecided, "I don't know—
"Please, baby," he looks into your eyes, "Feel what you're doing to me."
It forces you to again move your hips against it deeply, fully feeling its heavy hardness in need of attention and release, the friction sending delicious waves of arousal that also need attention.
"I want you. Right here. Right now. Don't tell me you don't want me too, I know you do."
You almost let out a little cry of surprise when unexpectedly, he sniffs under your skirt and just above your panties, you feel the huge palm of his hand cover your pussy with ease, caressing you in your entirety.
"A-ah!"
A soft whimper escapes you and you furrow your brows with the clear excitement and pleasure in your gaze, beginning to breathe harder, agitated and shaky.
"You're all soaked, baby."
He says in the midst of his excitation, delighted by the way you're dripping all over him, stroking you with his huge hand all over from front to back, making you moan loudly and start to move your hips against his hand, needing more, the friction being absolutely delicious.
And just as one of his long, slender fingers is about to pull the fabric of your panties aside to touch you directly, with a feeling of regret for the pleasure but also desperate, you stop his hand abruptly, not letting him go any further.
Aemond furrows his eyebrows in confusion amidst all his excitement, staring at you blankly, as you return your nervous, worried, agitated gaze, suddenly feeling embarrassed.
"I-I wasn't expecting this," you begin to say, even with your hand completely stopping his movements, nervously, "And it's been a while since I've shaved."
Aemond's confusion only becomes more noticeable even after hearing your words, understanding but at the same time not, as you watch him completely worried and on alert, not having the slightest idea what will happen next.
But Aemond knows what exactly will happen next, still not understanding why you said that and why you look so worried about it when he understands that you already know.
So he shakes his head briefly in your direction, still confused.
"And you think I care about that?"
His words take you completely by surprise and before you can say or do anything, his finger finally pulls the fabric aside and with his index and middle finger directly touches your dripping wet center, stroking you in slight circles making you moan and arch your back with your face contracting in complete pleasure.
Aemond can't help but smile in satisfaction at the way you react and respond, feeling you moisten his fingers more, loving your every expression and how you are like this to him.
And finally he expertly slips his fingers between your folds as if he wants to check how wet you are.
"Aemond," you moan his name, wiggling your hips against his hand again.
"Yes, baby," he praiseswith even satisfaction and desire in his gaze, "God, you are so fucking hot."
"Please," you whine, watching him with need and pleasure, "Please fuck me, fuck me with your fingers."
"Yeah? You want that?"
He watches you with tease, feeling his fingers slide all over your entrance, making you moan and sigh for him, feeling so good but not enough, as you need more.
"Aemond," you say his name in a plea.
And that smirk appears on his lips, deciding he doesn't want to tease you since he's just as desperate as you are, but this little moment is about you.
"Here you go, baby, all for you. I'm gonna take good care of my girl."
You moan prologue as he slips both fingers into your tight, hot, needy entrance, moving them inside you in a way that steals the breath from your lungs.
You arch your back as you moan and your chest is right in front of him, his eye going at that moment to your confined breasts, needing to be released and also needing to receive attention.
He doesn't need to say anything to you, as you are too busy receiving and enjoying the feel of his fingers inside you, so with his free hand he moves it up the back of your top, reaches in and with a calculated and expert movement, undoes the clip of your bra.
This doesn't totally get your attention, what does is how Aemond moves your bra out of the way and down the front of your top, exposes your breasts for him by the side of your cleavage.
"Gods," he murmurs to himself in delight to then bring his hand up, kneading your left breast all over and bringing his lips to your nipple on your right breast.
Now the feel of his lips and one of his hands on your breasts makes you moan louder as you continue to feel him move his fingers inside you just the way you need and exactly how you like.
Just as he knows exactly how you like it when he licks and kisses your nipples with need, grunting in the middle of his licks, watching your face at all times, not wanting to miss every expression on your face.
"Yes, just like that, p-please," you whimper, arching your back more and bringing one of your hands to his hair to push his face more against your breasts.
But you lose it completely when he twists and arches his fingers inside you with purpose, stroking and searching until he finds the spot that draws a gasp from you.
"There we go," he murmurs, watching you, "Fuck, you're so warm, baby, "he groans, "You're going to feel so fucking good around my cock."
His words send more delicious waves of pleasure to your center that he continues to caress and soothe, as he watches his fingers disappear inside you again and again, continuously, to return his attention to your breasts.
Each caress of his fingers, hand and lips make you melt completely on top of him, still panting and feeling dizzy and lightheaded, having no coherent thought because of the sensations.
And yet, it's not enough, you need more, need more of him, desperately.
"So fucking good," you murmur in sighs, your breath coming in ragged gasps, "Please, baby, don't stop."
Aemond groans
"I can feel you squeezing my fingers, baby," he says, stroking your soft spot, "Are you going to cum?"
"Y-yes," you say in a faint murmur, contracting your face into one of pleasure and need, moving your hips faster against his hand, "Oh fuuuck."
"You are so beautiful," he murmurs, beginning again to leave wet kisses down your face and neck, "I can't believe you're mine… and how perfect you are," he says over the softness of your breasts, husky, "Fuck."
"Aem-mond," you say in a desperate tone, still swaying your hips and about to reach your high point.
He feels you clench tighter all around your fingers and before you can finally feel your orgasm hit you, he stops his movements and removes his fingers from inside you.
You whimper with confusion and discomfort more than evident on your face, watching him instantly, breathing hard and fast, with the slight sweat on your forehead, about to reproach, but Aemond speaks quickly.
"On my cock," he clarifies to you, taking his hands off you for a moment, bringing them to his belt to remove it and also unbuckle his pants, "I want you to cum all over my cock."
As he begins to remove his belt with a little difficulty, he is totally focused on that, but as he unbuckles his pants and is about to release his hardened member, he turns his eye to your face and sees even the discomfort and frustration on your face from the denied orgasm.
"Oh baby, don't look at me like that," he tells you with the smirk in his gaze, leaning down to leave a soft kiss on your cheek, "Don't worry, I'll give you exactly what you want. Be a good girl for me and be patient."
This inevitably brings waves of pleasure to your aroused yet aching center for not cumming, so you squeeze your thighs together in a vain attempt to find relief.
And finally Aemond releases his big, hard, hot cock from his underwear, watching you all the while with pleasure and completely ravenous.
His long, slender fingers wrap around the base, then stroke himself with deep, long strokes, grunting lowly each time his thumb brushes over his sensitive, red tip.
At the scene of him stroking himself with your lust-filled eyes, you can't help but moisten your lips with the tip of your tongue, needing him inside your mouth or inside you, either is fine with you.
"Spread your legs for me, baby," he says, bringing one of his hands to your thigh, "Let me see that pretty pussy."
Even though it's been a while, you still shamelessly try to spread your legs as wide as you can, letting him see your wet pussy dripping with your juices, glistening slightly and fully engorged, needing him.
"Fuck," he growls, "All this for me?"
He brings his hand to your center again and with his thumb strokes gently but with just enough pressure your sensitive bud, making you moan and arch your back from feeling it more intensely.
Aemond bites his lower lip as he watches your pussy contract from his caresses, then he moves his eye up to your face and at the end he focuses totally on your slightly sweaty body, your perfect breasts with both hard nipples making his cock throb in a painful but delicious way at the same time.
"I want to ride you," you say in the middle of your expression of pleasure, panting.
Aemond smiles and pulls his hand away from your needy pussy before he goes any further and places them both on either side of your body, watching you expectantly.
"Go ahead, baby. I'm all yours."
This only heightens your arousal more and the idea of riding him rough is too delicious and makes you feel yourself getting wetter.
You wrap his heavy cock in your hand, breathing through your mouth, then rise up on his lap and direct his tip to your needy, dripping pussy.
You slowly lower down and feel him open you all the way, making you moan his name too loudly.
"Oh my god, Ae-mond" you whined, closing your eyes in complete delight.
"Oh fuck," Aemond groans, "Fuck, baby."
You both curse as it feels so fucking good.
You slowly descend, moaning throughout, feeling yourself open wider for him, causing Aemond to groan and curse louder as he feels you squeeze him in such an exaggeratedly good way that it almost makes him cum.
Even with more of his long, thick cock left to enter your pussy, he grabs your hips with both burning hands and pushes you down to finish sinking all of him inside you, where you both moan and grunt deliciously.
"That's so fucking good," you praise, completely drunk with pleasure and how he fills you completely.
Only he fills you this way, being exactly what you need. And you've missed it.
He gives you time for your body to adjust to his size after so long, while this time with both hands he caresses your breasts, giving attention with his tongue to your hard buds, making you moan as it feels too much, though not enough.
"You like it that much, hm?"
He teases you and then runs his tongue right across your right bud, lightly grazing it with his teeth, making you gasp as his hands continue to caress the softness of your breasts with sharp movements that take in all your skin.
And once you feel comfortable again with his size inside you, you begin to move your hips against him.
"Oh yeah, baby," he grunts, "Just like that."
You continue to move back and forth, moaning his name, feeling his warm breath against your breasts, beginning to feel your skin bristle from all the sensation that is too much but not enough at the same time.
"Yes, baby," you say in a whimper, "Please, you feel so good."
You begin to move more purposefully up and down now, causing him to growl again and let out a curse in your ear, holding you tighter around your waist by how you bounce against him.
The rain out there probably helps make your moans not so audible, but you no longer care where you are and if anyone might notice you both, especially since the car is moving with your movements on top of him, but you don't care.
You can only focus on one thing and that is Aemond, your perfect boyfriend.
You only feel more waves of pleasure that his cock soothes as you see his beautiful smooth but slightly contracted face in intense pleasure, with a few strands of his now short hair sticking to his forehead from his light sweat, looking so sexy.
Each drag of his cock head sends electricity throughout your body and a feeling of euphoria, almost making you see stars and fireworks, moving more fervently against him.
His breathing is just as fast as yours, hearing on top of that the slapping of your ass against his thighs every time you thrust him deep inside you again.
"That's it," he hums, then tightens the grip of his hands on your hips and begins to move faster and harder on top of him.
You moan loudly, feeling too much, delicious and driving you completely crazy.
"Fuck," you whined at the way he guides you, closing your eyes in complete delight.
And the next thing he does as he feels your walls contract around him, he wraps his arms around you and holds you with his warm hands from your lower back, grunts and begins to meet your movements as he too thrusts his hips upward in hard, fast, hard thrusts.
The air is completely gone from your lungs once more and you moan louder, the sound of both your skins sticking together also being heard, making your eyes roll back.
"Yes, yes, baby," you say as best you can, drunk with pleasure, frowning as you feel yourself cumming soon.
"Holy fuck, baby," he croons, "Keep goin', baby. Squeeze my cock. I wanna feel you cum first," he groans, his voice almost desperate.
He continues to whisper obscene things in your ear, that you are his, how much he loves you, how beautiful you look all desperate with his cock inside you, what he wants to do to you next, how long he has waited to be inside you again and how much he loves to hear your beautiful sounds that are only for him.
You can't help but react to his dirty words and your pussy squeezes him harder, making him grunt and curse with his eyebrows furrowed in concentration, his cheeks pink from the heat and his lips half-open, breathing hard.
"Fuck-fuck," you say quickly, clinging tighter to him in a desperate way.
"You're going to cum, aren't you?" he purrs and you let out a moan, trying to speak, "Yes, baby. Cum for me, please."
He leans in and kisses you with need, as he continues to grind his hips against yours and you moan into his mouth as he brings his thumb back to your bud and strokes it with just enough pressure to make you moan and feel more of your pleasure on the verge of exploding.
And with three more sweeps of his thumb on your clit, you get goose bumps and collapse on top of him.
You moan his name and every muscle in your body tenses at once, you tingle and your mind goes blank as you let out a high pitched moan louder than the previous ones and you see stars behind your eyes as a wave passes all over your insides.
You feel the euphoria all over your head and you jerk for a moment, almost aching from it all, feeling too much as Aemond continues to fuck you through your orgasm, reaching his own peak.
"Oh, fuck," you hear him moan and with one last hard, hard lunge, a hot liquid spurt of his cum fills you inside you.
The pleasure burns all over you, it courses through your body and you gasp, breathing hard and barely processing everything that has just happened.
Together you wait for the high to subside as you drop your head heavily against his shoulder and he continues to hold you, waiting for his racing heartbeat to calm down.
He begins to leave soft kisses on your forehead and brushes away your damp locks stuck to your sweaty face gently, smiling completely happy and satisfied, while you continue to melt under his touch and watch for a moment as the rain continues out there.
"Are you okay, baby?"
He asks you while still trying to catch his breath and you hums in affirmation, slowly sitting back up to look him in the eye.
"More than okay," you assure him with that satisfaction in your body.
You smile at him with love in your gaze and lean in to kiss him, where once again you think of how much you missed him and how happy it makes you to be with him again in this way, being all you needed.
"Stay with me in my room," you tell him as you pull away from him, not taking your hands away from his face.
"I wasn't planning on not staying, love."
He smiles back at you and he leaves one more kiss on your lips again, pulling your whole naked body against him again, holding you tight, as if he doesn't want to let you go.
His cock softens inside you and you carefully pull away from on top of him, feeling like there's a mess on your crotch and thighs, but nothing you can't fix since your room is a few feet away.
Once you both finish cleaning up what you can inside his car, where barely Aemond cares about it, you and he run under the rain to hurry into your building, where you take him to your room.
Tonight is not the last time Aemond makes you come, as once you are both in the four walls of your room, he makes you come with his fingers, tongue and cock, proclaiming it is to make up for the time you were both apart.
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The next morning, in your bed, you can't help the silly smile that appears on your lips when you see the serene and calm face of Aemond, who is sleeping peacefully next to you.
You immediately place your head on his chest and hug him, wanting to feel that closeness and touch from him, completely happy but also tired from everything you both did last night.
You feel that satisfied tingle between your legs and now being like this with him, just time seems to stand still for you, wanting to be like this forever.
Aemond stirs a little under you and you feel and hear him inhale deeply, then feel his warm hands wrap around your bare back, pulling your body closer to him, making you smile softly.
"Hmm," he says hoarsely, sending a vibration you feel in his chest, "Good morning," he says still sleepily.
You laugh softly under your breath, lifting your face to watch him.
"It's the afternoon, actually," you tell him amused then leave a soft kiss on his lips.
He hums, still keeping his eye closed, while instead of seeing his blue sapphire in his left empty socket, he has on his prosthetic eye, which you hadn't seen in some time, but still had missed.
"Really?" he asks you still sleepily.
"It's twelve o'clock," you let him know, then look at him somewhat warily, "Don't you have to work or something?"
"Hmm…" he says for a moment, hugging you against his chest more firmly, "Yeah but it doesn't matter, I want to take the day off."
You can't help the small tight-mouthed smile that appears on your lips and you pull your face closer to his, closing your eyes and melting under his touch and the comfort of your bed, while out there the weather is cloudy from the storm at night.
"You know my work now won't interfere between us, right?" he suddenly asks you softly, getting your attention, "I'm not going to make the same mistakes as last time. I'm going to do this right."
Again you can't help but smile a little, as you remain silent for a moment and gently nuzzle your nose with his.
"Now I know," you murmur softly to him, in response.
Aemond smiles softly, marking his dimples on either side of his cheeks, as the two of you make no effort to get out of bed and entwine your legs together, intending to stay here for a while longer.
And in that moment, it's just you and him, both in the right place at the right time.
That day in your room, you both talked about everything, about what would come next and how you would face it together, how you would do things now and also caught up for the months apart.
There were all kinds of laughs and heartfelt conversations. Instead of focusing on the mistakes of the past, you chose to look forward and build that new future together.
A few weeks after you and Aemond got back together, the topic of you both living together comes up again, but this time, he gives you the news that he stopped living in the apartment where you both lived together and recently bought an apartment for himself in the upper suburbs.
And it's only a matter of time before you both now create new moments in a new place.
Even the press gives the news after they see you both in a luxurious restaurant enjoying a rich dinner, where there is no lack of physical contact and some innocent kisses, where you both look absolutely happy.
Aemond's family, Hel more than anything else, are happy that the two of you are back together, where you never crossed paths with Otto Hightower.
And it is also only a matter of time before all the other close people around know that you and Aemond are back together again.
But Aemond couldn't care less, since he has you back, his sweet girl and that's all he cares about.
His company continued to be successful, even increased with now him being the boss and your classes and work remained the same, only with the difference that you now have that stability you had so longed for back.
And fortunately it came back into your life, as well as Aemond's new life, having you back.
You both supported each other in your goals and dreams, finding strength and inspiration in this new chapter of your lives.
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kelcemenow · 11 months
Text
Anything.
Pairing Travis Kelce x Reader
Words 2539
Warnings Strong language, some fluff and lots and lots of smut. I went a bit heavy on the foreplay but I just can't help myself!
Another anon request that I just had to do! "Hi there. I loved your most recent fic and was wondering if you would be willing to write a smut where the reader (female) promised travis that if he won the superbowl that he could do anything he wanted to her?"
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"Anything?" Travis' eyes widened and his mouth gaped open slightly.
"Anything." You repeated, but without the questioning tone. "You win that Superbowl baby, and you can do anything to me."
Travis froze for a second before laughing and rubbing the back of his neck, "Oh baby, you don't know what you've done."
You leaned forward so you were only inches away from his face, "And when I say anything, I mean anything."
His eyes darkened and he leaned in to kiss you but when his lips grazed yours, you pulled back and continued eating your dinner. Travis' eyebrows lowered in confusion.
You pointed your fork to his plate, "Eat your dinner big guy, you've got an important game next week."
Travis didn't move for a second or so, keeping his gaze on you, hoping for a change of heart. You continued eating your chicken, not making eye contact with him. After a moment, Travis breathed out a laugh and started shovelling his food quickly into his mouth.
"Right, I've finished, can I have a kiss now?" He pushed his lips out.
You smiled at his begging expression, placing your hand under his chin and bringing his face to yours for a gentle kiss. Travis hummed in contentment before you leaned back and returned to your plate, flipping the page of your magazine.
"You're going to be sorry. You'd better have a strong coffee on the morning, baby. Imma have you up all night." His eyes lowered down your body.
You continued to read your magazine, "You're that confident that you're going to win?"
"Baby! Do you know who I am? I am the-"
"Yes, yes, the fastest tight end to reach 10,000 receiving yards." You said quickly, "Now, could you add another few yards and get the laundry out of the dryer, please?"
Travis shook his head and laughed, "You keep me humble, babe."
You smiled down at the article you were reading. You liked to keep Travis on his toes and he enjoyed your playfulness. You had been dating for around a year, so it was still relatively the early stage of your relationship. You met soon after the previous season, as a friend of Isabelle Butker, the wife of Travis' Chiefs teammate Harrison. She had invited you to a barbeque at her house and you spotted Travis.
"Isabelle, who's that?"
He was chatting to some other players excitedly.
"Oh, that's Travis." Isabelle nodded as she opened a beer from the cooler, "He's great, I think you two would get along, actually."
You narrowed your eyes, "If you're saying what I think you're saying, no way."
"What?" Her head snapped up quickly, "What do you mean? I'm an excellent matchmaker!"
"That guy you set me up with a couple of months ago? He ordered a salad for me and then started lecturing me about why women should stay and home and take care of the children instead of go to work!"
"Okay, okay...fair enough. But seriously, just go and talk to him."
You picked up your glass of wine and looked over towards him. He was talking enthusiastically with a couple of guys you recognised. He seemed to be focused on the conversation but his eyes suddenly found yours and you felt your breath hitch as he smiled before continuing with his discussion.
You tilted your head to the side, "Hmm, I think I might."
That was almost a year ago. And now you were in your home in Kansas City, getting ready to leave for a week in Arizona for the lead up to the Superbowl. Travis didn't seem nervous, but you knew there was still time. This was the biggest game of the season He had won in 2020, but lost the year after. You really wanted him to win his second ring, to experience the celebration with him. You knew it would be a difficult game for him as he was playing against his brother, Jason, meaning the entire Kelce family were there and the result, whatever it was, would be bittersweet for whoever was on the losing team.
After you had finished dinner, both you and Travis checked over your bags that you had packed for the week in Arizona, but your thoughts were consumed with what plans Travis had for his winning night.
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Your heart was in your mouth as the red and gold confetti filled the sky. The stadium erupted into noise and the entire viewing suite jumped to their feet. Patrick Mahomes' wife Brittany threw her arms around you and Isabella grabbed onto both of your hands as she jumped repeatedly in the air.
"Oh my God, oh my God!" You screamed as you could feel tears forming between your eyelids.
Isabella quickly pulled you both out of the suite, "Come on, we need to get down there."
The three of you, followed by other players families, whizzed through the corridors to get onto the field as quickly as possible. The atmosphere was electric and your head was spinning with the vast amount of people piling onto the field. Your eyes were darting around to locate Travis but as you were searching, you saw the two brothers sharing an emotional hug.
"Congratulations, go celebrate."
Travis looked at his big brother, "I love you, man."
Jason winked and nodded his head towards you and Travis turned around quickly. As soon as he spotted you, his eyes lit up with tears and he came running to you, picking you up and spinning you around. Camera flashes blinded your eyes so you closed them and pressed a firm kiss onto Travis' lips.
As he lowered you back down onto the grass, you stared up at him, "I am so proud of you, baby." You placed your hands onto the sides of his face as he stared lovingly down at you, "So proud. You did it, you won. I love you so much."
Travis leaned down to meet your lips with his again, "I love you too, baby."
You felt his hand lower to grab your ass firmly, squeezing the supple flesh. Your own hand grasped at his toned biceps and you watched as his chest rose and fall hastily.
"You're not too tired are you, big guy?" You hands ran along his arms as you looked up at him.
He leaned down so his mouth was close to you ear, "Not a chance, I'm getting out of here as fast as I can."
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"You...are amazing. I...love...you so much." You said in-between breaths as Travis was latching onto your neck, leaving wet lazy kisses across your skin.
His hands were roaming your clothed body, grasping at the fabric and pulling it so he could have access.
You pulled away from him and walked slowly to the hotel bedroom, his hungry eyes following every step you made. As you reached the bed, you spun on the spot and sat on the edge, looking up at your 6 foot 5 inch man.
"So, you remember our deal?" You asked, a husky rasp to your voice.
Travis nodded and silently made his way to his suitcase, his broad back obstructing your view as to what he had pulled out of it. You waited patiently until he turned to face you, a long black piece of material in his hand.
"I'm going to make you feel so good, baby." His head shook slightly as he spoke, his words laced with lust.
You tilted your head as he came closer to you, "But this is your treat?"
"Watching you squirm as I make you cum is a treat for me."
Your thighs tightened and your pussy throbbed at his words.
He climbed onto the bed behind you and pulled your hair to one side, placing soft kisses on your neck and shoulders, your skin tingling at his touch. Your eyelids fluttered closed and you gasped gently. You leaned back slightly and rested on his chest whilst Travis placed one hand up your jersey, searching for your breasts. His fingers grazed your right nipple and you felt a jolt of pleasure through your body.
Just as you were melting into his touch, he quickly moved away from the bed and walked around to face you. You looked up at him, your pink swollen lips parted and his eyes darkened further. You smiled when he placed the black fabric over your eyes and tied it into a knot at the back of your head.
Suddenly, your world was black and all you had to rely on was your other senses. You felt Travis' hands run up your thighs and as you stood up, he gently pulled down your tight, ripped jeans and you carefully stepped out of them. All of the sudden, you felt Travis' lips on yours, gently and almost ghosting over your mouth. You leaned forward for him but he wasn't there. You could hear movement on the bed behind you but you stayed where you were, wanting to be under Travis' full control.
You felt his breath on your neck behind you and he pulled the jersey you were wearing over your head so you were left in your lace bra and thong. Travis let out a small groan at the sight of your ass and you heard him shift again on the bed behind you. He placed a gentle grip on your arm and guided you down onto the bed so you were laid on your back. After a couple of seconds, his hands slowly removed your thong as his lips kissed your stomach and hips, getting closer to your pussy with every kiss.
You let out a sigh, your chest quivering and struggling to control your breathing. Travis blew gently on your exposed clit, and the cool air made you throw your head back in preparation. He had always been good with foreplay, he knew exactly what to do to drive you crazy but you knew this night was going to be different.
You parted your legs slightly and Travis' wet tongue drew a stripe up your folds, flicking your clit at the end. Your legs tensed tightly and then opened further so you could allow him better access. Travis got to work immediately, his tongue expertly exploring your pussy. His movements were gentle but firm, and you could occasionally hear him humming, the vibrations running through your body. A tightness built up in your lower stomach, causing you to arch your back off of the bed and a low guttural sound to leave your lips. Travis ran his hand up your stomach, reaching for your chest. His fingers found your left breast, nipping at the skin, pinching your nipple and tugging at it. You hissed at the slight pain, enjoying the sharp sensation that flooded your body.
He removed his tongue and replaced it with his fingers, gently pushing them inside of you. You felt his frame cover yours, his mouth kissing your neck and chest. Your breathing became uneven and you curled your toes, holding onto the orgasm that was building up inside of you. Travis must have noticed as he lifted his lips to your ear.
"Go on baby, that's it. Let that perfect pussy cum for me."
His low growl in your ear made you completely release, a wetness covering his fingers with force. You heard Travis gasp, and then felt him speed up, pumping his fingers in and out with an impressive pace. You squealed as you released some more, your cum spurting with force.
Travis quickly flipped you over so you were lying on your front. He moved behind you and lifted your hips upwards, steadying yourself on your knees. You pressed your cheek into the bed, letting your torso relax. You arched your back as he returned his tongue to your vagina, lapping up the juices that were covering your folds. Your muscles quivered and your body writhed with pleasure.
"Mmm, you taste so sweet." He breathed into your pussy.
You bit down on the pillow next to your face to stop yourself from screaming and Travis responded by grabbing at your thighs, digging his fingers in and flicking your clit with his tongue. Your back arched even further and your throat croacked.
"Travis...baby...I need your dick." You panted, "Please...uhh...p-lease."
His hands moved to your ass, slapping his hand across the skin. You moaned at the sting but continued to beg for him.
"Fuck me, Travis...do what you want to me...fuck me, baby."
Travis chuckled and lifted himself up onto his knees, his thick erection perfectly positioned at your entrance. You bucked backwards slightly, pushing his tip against your wet lips. You could feel your pussy pulsating and with one easy motion, he slid himself inside of you, causing you to gasp at his size. Your walls stretched around him and you whined as you adjusted to him.
He started slow and gentle, letting you feel every inch of his cock. He rested his hands on your back before he tangled them in your hair, grasping at it to pull you upwards and onto your hands. You clutched at the bed sheets, tightening your fists as you took his length. He grunted with each thrust, his sounds fuelling your second orgasm.
Quickly, he pulled his member out and flipped you back onto your back before removing your blindfold. You blinked and your eyes adapted to the light. He smiled when you locked eyes with him, finally gazing upon his handsome and strong features. His mouth parted and he bit down on his bottom lip as his dick plunged into you, your cum spilling out. Your eyes widened as he repeatedly thrusted with a powerful force. He pressed his forehead to yours, steadying himself as he increased his speed. Contrary to earlier, you screamed this time with no care for how loud you were, making wild sounds to signify your intense pleasure. Travis breathed through gritted teeth, the muscles in his arms bulging and flexing with each movement.
You vision started to get blurry as you sensed your next orgasm. You licked your dry lips and grunted Travis' name before you felt a release of ecstasy wash over you. Every muscle in your body seemed to tense then relax, your breathing even more rushed and manic than before. You turned your head slightly but Travis placed a large hand on your chin and pulled your gaze back to him, his urgent expression prolonging your climax.
After some laboured thrusts, Travis tightened his grip on you and his body contorted as he released his cum into you. Your walls clenched as you felt him pulsate, his ejaculation filling you up. He collapsed slightly, but was careful not to put his whole weight on top of you. Instead, he held himself up by his elbow, stroking the side of your face with his other hand.
His face was red and speckled with beads of sweat. His eyes bore into you as he smiled, "You are perfect, baby."
"Nobody is perfect, Travis."
He narrowed his eyes, "You are. I love you so much." He pushed some rogue hairs away from your face with his thumb and kissed your forehead, "I would do anything for you."
"Anything?"
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I am really enjoying getting requests these days! You all have such wonderfully creative ideas! I also wanted to check whether people would want me to start a standard taglist? I have one for my Touchdown series, but wondered if I should have a regular one for all of my writing?
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zeezelweazel · 2 months
Text
Leah Williamson| Deal-breaker|
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I randomly got this idea and finished it on one go, I'll get back to that Lia fic now
Summary: You and Leah have been dating for well over a year now. It all comes crashing down when a touchy subject is brought up and an impossible to close chasm opens up between the two of you.
TW: talks of pregnancy and having children, angst (no happy ending)
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Everyone knows how healthy and happy your relationship with Leah is. All of your teammates have it as an example of how all relationships should be. With cute and romantic dates, a lot of communication and appropriate boundaries your relationship is ideal. Perhaps that was the first red flag. It was too good to last.
It all happened on a Wednesday night, after one of your dates. Both of you were cuddled up on the couch watching a crappy movie that the blonde somehow enjoyed. You weren't really paying attention, more focused on Leah's heartbeat and her sweet perfume.
Suddenly Leah started tapping your head and you half heartedly looked at the screen to see what your girlfriend was so excited about. There was a family on the screen, a mother and a father watching delighted as their child took her first steps.
"Isn't she adorable?" Leah cooed at the bald baby on the tv. You only hummed in response, not thinking anything of it, as you pushed your face back on it's rightful place between Leah's shoulder and neck.
For the remainder of the movie Leah was quiet, which you definitely didn't mind, you were almost asleep on the blonde's arms. You didn't even realise the movie was over until Leah repositioned, forcing you to pull back grumpily. Leah looked deep in though as her eyes moved from the dark screen to your face and back on the turned off tv. It was clear she was pondering wether or not to say what she had in mind.
"Have you ever thought about starting a family?" Your eyes widened and a heavy weight immediately pulled on your stomach. Leah looked at you, nervous for your answer but she was trying to hold back a smile, clearly telling you what type of answer the defender was expecting.
"No. I mean I have, obviously, but I've known for years now that I don't want kids."
Leah's face shifted through every possible emotion until it settled on what seemed like pure distraught. You clenched your hands around the blanket and waiting for her to say something.
"You... don't want kids. Ever. You don't to start a family with me?" Leah's voice was shaking and her eyes were teary in a way that made you nauseous. You hate seeing her upset, but especially when you're the reason why. Right now though you were more concerned about the direction this conversation was headed towards.
"No Leah. I" you paused to take a deep breath and calm yourself." I thought you knew? I mean we've been friends for years and I've mentioned a thousand times how I don't like children."
Leah curled in on herself, almost recoiling away from you, all while her shoulders started shaking. You sighed and got up, kneeling on Leah's side and pressing a hand on her back, desperate to reassure the blonde and calm her down. Leah, however, pushed your hand away and abruptly got up.
"I thought you saw this as a serious relationship-"
"I do! Kids have nothing to-"
Leah laughed humourlessly and shook her head. Both of you were standing facing eachother, angry and upset.
"I always wanted to start a family with you. God I was such an idiot." Another empty chuckle pushed its way pass her chest." Making plans and daydreaming."
You were getting angrier by the second. You don't understand how Leah could be making plans for such things when she knew for a fact you didn't want kids. Did she think you'd magically change your mind? You felt betrayed in a way, like Leah never truly loved you, like she prayed every night that you'd wake up a different woman in the morning.
Imagining yourself with a child in your arms, your child, made you want to throw up. The idea of having a kid of your own never was one you entertained for more than half a second. It's been this way since junior high and it sure as hell wasn't going to change now.
"I love you Leah. I love how you look so serious and pissed off all the time but you're actually a sweetheart. I love how you have no idea how to cook but you try anyway. I love how passionate and hardworking and smart you are. I love you and I really thought that was enough."
You were close to crying at this point, your thoughts running a thousand miles per hour. Neither of you spoke for a moment as you simply tryied to understand what just happened. What this means for your relationship.
"If you think I don't take our relationship seriously because of something that you've known for years I can't do anything to change your mind Leah."
"And I can't do anything to show you how much starting a family means to me."
Leah sat back down on the couch, shoulders slumped in defeat as she breathed heavily through her nose. A lump gathered in your throat as you realised you hit a dead end. You pushed all the emotions back down and you closed your eyes, taking in the words that are about to leave your mouth.
"This is it then... We're breaking up." Leah raised her head and looked at you panicked. She got up and reached out for you, only to grab at empty air when you moved a step back. Leah shook her head as tears slipped down her cheeks. You let out a shaky breath as you framed her face softly.
"We want different things in life Leah, very different things. I can't force you to forget about starting a family just how you can't expect me to change my mind about becoming a mother." Your voice broke and your eyes were full of tears. Neither of you wanted this but it was clear it had to be done.
You still remember the anguish in Leah's voice as she yelled and begged for you to stay but you couldn't. The sound of the door banging shut left a migraine inducing ringing in your ears. The world was blurred as you closed the door of your car after sliding in. You stared blankly at the steering wheel not knowing what to think or how to react. The tires screeched against the rough street and your heart was tearing itself up in your chest the further you went away from Leah.
You kept driving anyway.
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callme-holly · 1 month
Note
Can you do a three times the gang almost caught and the one time they did with two dal or steve
But the reader is also a Curtis? Like their sister?
𝐇𝐞’𝐬 𝐍𝐨𝐭 𝐏𝐞𝐫𝐟𝐞𝐜𝐭, 𝐁𝐮𝐭 𝐇𝐞’𝐬 𝐀𝐥𝐥 𝐈 𝐖𝐚𝐧𝐭 [𝐭𝐡𝐫𝐞𝐞 𝐭𝐢𝐦𝐞𝐬 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐠𝐚𝐧𝐠 𝐚𝐥𝐦𝐨𝐬𝐭 𝐜𝐚𝐮𝐠𝐡𝐭 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐝𝐚𝐥𝐥𝐚𝐬 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐨𝐧𝐞 𝐭𝐢𝐦𝐞 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐲 𝐝𝐢𝐝]
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𝐚𝐮𝐭𝐡𝐨𝐫'𝐬 𝐧𝐨𝐭𝐞 - i'm so sorry this took so long omg. I'm really trying to be faster but my attention span is so short and I just can't sit down for longer than 10 mins. I will probably also end up writing this sort of fic for Two-bit and Steve too, only bc I have literally nothing for them yet lmaoo. Anyways, hope ya'll enjoy and as always my asks are still open for requests!!
𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐝 𝐜𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐭 - 3.5k
𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬 - mild swearing, mentions of fighting
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0.1 - more charm than sense 
The Curtis home is unusually quiet; everyone either out or at work. 
The radio plays on low, some commercial station that only seems to play the same ten songs before switching back to the first and replaying them all without end. 
You’re standing in front of the sink, towel in hand, and as you clean up the remnants of breakfast, your brother’s dirty plates are dumped haphazardly atop the counter in a less than neat pile. The water runs clear under your steady hands, and for a moment you forget that you aren’t entirely alone in the house, too focused on cleaning up to notice anything further than the sound of your own breathing and the light static of the radio.
You're so lost in thought that you barely register the lingering presence behind you, only startling once a familiar pair of arms wind themselves around your waist from behind, the familiar scent of cigarette smoke and cheap, most likely stolen, cologne filling your senses. Lips are pressed against the base of your neck, and a chin rests on your shoulder. The sudden weight is warm and familiar. 
“I thought ya invited me over to spend some time with me, doll, not clean.” Dallas drawls, his voice rough and his accent heavy. You can feel him smile into your skin as you sigh, letting go of the cloth in favour of turning towards him and wrapping your arms around his shoulders. His hands fall to your hips, and his thumbs trace lazy patterns into your skin. 
“I didn’t invite you, Dal,” You raise your brows, “You climbed in through my window.” 
Dallas laughs lowly in response, shrugging nonchalantly as he drops a kiss on the corner of your lips. “Didn't expect ya to be so preoccupied.” He trails off, nuzzling his face into the crook of your neck and nipping lightly along your jawline. “Thought I’d be gettin’ more attention than this.” 
You roll your eyes fondly in response, but don’t move away as he continues peppering kisses down your jaw and collar, your hands wandering idly to the hem of your shirt. You’re quick to slap him away, fixing him with a warning look. He just grins lazily, leaning in close enough to press his lips just below your ear. 
“Dallas.” Your tone is stern, and it has absolutely no effect whatsoever on the greaser, who merely hums in reply, hands moving back to your waist to pull you closer. “Not here.”
Dallas’ grip tightens for a moment, and he pulls back, tilting his head to the side. “C’mon, doll… You’re brothers are gone; what’s there to worry about?” There’s a wicked grin on his lips as he steps away from you and leans against the kitchen counter, watching you carefully. 
It had been a mutual agreement to hide your relationship from the gang, a decision made to spare you from the headache Darry would no doubt give you and the black eye Dallas would receive for even thinking about touching you. You knew it was stupid to try hiding things from the gang, especially when they could see right through you like nobody else did, but you just couldn’t bring yourself to tell them.
Darry would probably skin you if he found out you were dating a hood like Dally, and you didn’t want to risk it. 
“There’s plenty to worry about,” you conclude, turning back to the sink. “What if Two-Bit or Johnny decide they wanna pay little old me a visit, huh, and they catch us here in the kitchen?” 
Dallas chuckles before placing his hands on your shoulders, leaning in close to whisper directly into your ear, “They won’t catch us, darlin’. They haven’t yet.” His hands begin to wander once more, and you drain the sink with a sigh, trying to find what little composure you have left to resist him and his words. He's relentless, damn him, and you know better than to hope for any sort of peace and quiet when you're home and alone.
His lips continue to trail a line down your neck, mouthing teasingly along the sensitive skin before moving back to your lips. This time, however, you give in, your fingers threading into his hair as you meet his eager advance. 
It's almost too easy to lose yourself in the haze of the moment, so much so that you hardly notice the thumping of footsteps on the porch until the screen door opens suddenly and Sodapop’s voice rings out.
“Y/N! You here?” His voice is loud with excitement as always, and you’re quick to jump away from Dallas, your eyes wide with surprise. 
“What the hell?” You hiss, glancing around the room frantically before spotting before your gaze lands on the bathroom door. You shove Dallas towards it, mumbling under your breath as you do so. “Get your ass outta here.” He snorts quietly, following your gaze and pressing a kiss to your cheek before closing the door behind him just as Soda rounds the corner in search of you. He beams brightly, and you let out a sigh of relief. 
“You’re home early…” You start, and he shrugs, heading to the dining table to grab his lunch which is still sitting where you’d left it out this morning. 
“Forgot this,” He holds up the bag and you roll your eyes internally. Typical. 
“You know,” You head back to the sink, taking out the now-clean dishes and stacking them back in the cupboard. “Sometimes I wonder how you’ve lived this long.” 
Soda smirks and raises an eyebrow, backing towards the door, lunch now in hand. “What can I say? What I lack in sense, I make up for in charm.” He winks, flashing a cocky grin as he leaves the house, the door banging shut behind him.
You watch to make sure he's completely gone before jogging to the bathroom and throwing open the door. “I told you this would happen.” You start, but stop short when you see that the room is empty.
The only sign that anybody had even been in here in the first place is the open window, the lingering scent of cigarette smoke, and that stupid cheap cologne that lingers in the air.
“Goddamnit, Winston…”  You huff, shaking your head and walking over to pull the window shut. 
0.2 - some unwanted visitors  
There’s a slight chill in the air; the summer nights slowly beginning to turn cooler as fall begins its slow, sleepy crawl across the state. 
Dallas has an arm thrown lazily over your shoulders, a cigarette dangling between his lips as he presses close, and a smirk pulling at the corners of his mouth. You lean into him slightly, savouring the warmth surrounding him and feeling content in his hold. A comfortable silence falls over the two of you, neither wanting to break it nor quite being comfortable staying silent either.
“So... I suppose you're wanted back before curfew, huh?” Dallas eventually drawls, shifting slightly to lean his head against yours. You let out a small laugh, leaning further into him and  allowing your cheek to rest against his chest.
“You know it,” You murmur, and he hums, his fingers tracing little circles on the small of your back absentmindedly. “Darry thinks I'm out with friends again, so you’ll have to drop me off at the end of the street.”
The greaser frowns at that, a faint crease forming between his brows. “I ain’t lettin’ you out of my sight, doll, 'specially not this late.” He looks almost offended that you'd even suggest such an idea, and you shake your head, looking up at him. 
“Dal, I can handle myself. I don’t need you watching my ass 24/7.” 
He rolls his eyes, giving you an indignant scoff. “You ain’t got to act all high and mighty, doll. You know I ain’t going to let you walk alone.” He leans in, his lips brushing against the shell of your ear as he whispers the next part. “Besides, we both know you like it when I watch your ass.” He pulls back then, grinning wildly when you roll your eyes dramatically, pushing him away. 
“Whatever, Winston,” You mutter, a coy smile tugging at the corners of your lips as he reaches for your hand, lacing your fingers together loosely. “But seriously, though, I’ll be fine.” 
Dallas simply grunts, choosing to drop the subject, giving you no further argument. You know he’ll still insist on walking you to your porch, regardless of whether your brothers spot you or not.
He thrives on adrenaline and the thrill of getting caught is just too much for him to resist. 
You both turn back to the movie playing on screen—some old beach movie with a plot no different from every other. It's cliche and unrealistic, but you're willing to put up with it just so you and Dallas can spend time together without hiding. 
It's not until halfway through the movie that you spot a familiar pair of faces making their way towards your row of seats, too caught up in their debate to spot you. Dallas currently has his head buried in the crook of your neck, the movie long since forgotten as he trails kisses along your jawline, and you're barely keeping your attention focused on the screen.
“Dal,” Your tone is hard, and you elbow him sharply in the ribs, eliciting an annoyed groan. “We’ve got company.” 
Dallas turns to glance towards the end of your row, and, sure enough, there stands none other than your brother Ponyboy Curits and Two-Bit Mathews, both of whom are yet to notice you both. 
“Shit,” He growls under his breath, arm slipping from around your shoulder as he turns his body away from them. “What’re they doin’ here?” 
You give him a half-hearted shrug, scanning the area for a way out and coming up short. The closest exits are the ones closest to your brother and Two-Bit, and you have no doubt that they’ll spot you if you try to make a break for it.
You're about to suggest going the long way and cutting through the crowds when suddenly someone comes up behind you, hands slamming into your shoulders and your voice cutting through your internal panic.
“Y/N Curtis!”
You whip your head around, meeting the gaze of Two-Bit, who is grinning like a madman. Dallas lets out a grunt of irritation, crossing his arms over his chest and shooting the two boys a cold look.
“What’d you want?” He snaps, and Ponyboy frowns, looking over at you curiously.
“I thought you told Darry you were out with friends tonight?” 
Your eyes widen, and your face heats instantly. “Well…” You trail off. “There was a change of plans.” 
Pony raises an eyebrow, seemingly sceptical at your words, as Two sits himself down in the seat beside you, stretching out and taking a sip from his drink. Dallas says nothing, his expression darkening, and you feel him tense up beside you. 
There's an awkward pause, broken only by the crackling audio of the movie, before Dal huffs impatiently and rises from his chair. He shoots you a look, and you instantly understand, standing in your own chair. 
“We’re going to go grab some drinks.” You state this before turning on your heel and following Dallas away from the seats, weaving through the rows until you find a secluded spot, away from the larger crowds and the prying eyes of the two greasers.
Ponyboy and Two-Bit watch to both go, frowning in confusion before Two raises a brow. “They seem pretty close.”
Pony shakes his head, rolling his eyes. “My sister isn’t stupid enough to date a hood like Dally.” Oh, how wrong they are…  
0.3 - who’s jacket is that? 
You’re at the DX, leaning back against one of the gas pumps as you listen to whatever wild story Steve is telling you. His hands flail around dramatically, and you nod along slowly, only half paying attention as Dallas comes to stand beside you, a cigarette hanging lazily between his lips. 
He doesn't speak, simply resting a subtle hand against your lower back, his fingers drawing lazy patterns into your skin. Your mind races, and you take note of the people around you. How could any of your friends notice the small display of affection happening between the two of you? But they all seem too caught up in their own conversations to notice. 
Steve’s voice cuts through your thoughts just then, drawing you from your reverie and your attention away from Dallas. 
“And then she tosses her milkshake right in this asshole’s face and leaves!” You have no idea what he's talking about, but let out a small laugh regardless, at least trying to look somewhat interested in what he’s saying.
Dallas shifts a little next to you; the pressure of his hand is now more noticeable against your lower back, and you know that he knows you're distracted. You can almost sense the smirk he’s holding back, and you resist the urge to turn and glare at him, instead focusing back on Steve and the other boys, their mindless chatter continuing for a few moments longer before Johnny speaks up, his tone laced with curiosity.
“Hey, Y/N, is that a new jacket?” 
You turn to stare at the boy, brows furrowed in confusion. “Huh?” You glance down, and you swear your heart stops for a moment. You're still wearing Dallas' jacket. Shit. 
Quickly, you clear your throat, hoping that the colour flooding your cheeks isn’t too obvious. “Oh… Uh–” By now, all eyes are on you; the previous conversation has long been forgotten in favour of watching you intently. It’s uncomfortable, and just as you’re about to offer up a poor attempt at an answer, Steve pipes up again, his brow furrowed. 
“Ain’t that your jacket, Dal?” He looks over at the greaser beside you, and Dallas hums, taking another drag of his cigarette. There’s a small smirk on his face, his eyes flickering down at you before he gives a shrug, blowing out a thin cloud of smoke. 
“Dunno. Could be.” He states this nonchalantly, hooking his thumbs in the pockets of his jeans and slouching against the gas pump. “It looks awfully similar.” 
You swallow hard, averting your gaze as the gang glances back over at you, all sharing the same confused expressions. It seems Dallas isn't going to offer up any more on the subject, so with a few heavy sighs, everyone seems to drop it, returning to their previous conversations. 
Letting out a small sigh of relief, you turn to look up at Dallas, who is still grinning smugly. His hand rests comfortably on your back once more, your fingers resuming their rhythmic pattern, and you allow your shoulders to relax a little, knowing he’ll tease you relentlessly later on. 
“They look awfully comfortable.” Steve remarks quietly, nodding his head in yours and Dallas's general direction. It seems your fond expression for the hood hasn’t gone unnoticed, and Soda snorts, nudging his buddy in the ribs. 
“What’re you talking about?” He raises a brow, taking a rag from his pocket and wiping off the oil staining his hands. His attention moves to you and Dallas, a knowing look spreading across his features as he watches the two of you interact and an impossibly soft look in Dally’s eyes as you talk to him. 
He can’t help but notice the jacket once more, how it’s just a little too big on you, and how it looks a little too much like Dallas’'s to just be a coincidence. No, there’s no doubt in his mind about who exactly owns it, and if the smug smirk tugging at the corners of Dallas’ lips is anything to go by, then maybe, just maybe, Steve is right. 
Things are slowly starting to add up. 
0.4 - caught...
It’s early evening, and the sun is sinking low in the sky, casting dim rays of golden light throughout the room. It’s peaceful; the excitable chatter of the gang in the living room fills the air, muffled by your closed door. 
Dallas has his head resting in your lap, a cigarette held loosely between his fingers as he blows smoke out through your open window. His eyes are closed tight, bruises and cuts litter his face, and his skin is stained with blood and dirt. He doesn’t speak, merely wincing as your fingertips trail over his wounds, stopping occasionally to press gentle kisses to his hair. 
There’s a nasty gash above his eye, the blood trickling freely in little rivulets, and you wipe at it lightly with a wad of gauze, the sting of the alcohol drawing a pained grunt from the greaser.
“Do ya have to do that?” 
You give him a sympathetic smile, brushing your lips over his forehead tenderly. “Sorry,” you mutter, running your fingers through his matted hair. “I’m almost done.” 
Dallas doesn't move; he just stays silent, letting you dab gently at his injuries, his expression unreadable.
You never know how he's going to act after a rumble. Sometimes, he's fine, joking around and teasing with the others, but then there’s those small moments where the tension from the fight doesn’t dissipate, where he sits in complete silence, letting you work without complaint. 
These are the times when you worry, when it becomes obvious that he is hurting. He won’t tell you, not directly at least, but you know something's wrong. You can tell in the way he holds onto you, his face hidden from view, as his hands grip desperately at the fabric of your shirt. 
“Dal,” You murmur softly, and your tone is soft and soothing. “Talk to me.” Your fingers trail softly through his hair, gently scratching at his scalp, and you notice his shoulders drop a little. He exhales heavily, pressing his cheek against your thigh, his eyes closed tightly.
“Not right now,” His voice is thick and rough, and words slurred slightly as he struggled to stay awake. Your eyebrows furrow as a soft sigh escapes your lips, reaching your free hand out to brush over his bruised jaw. It's rare to see him so vulnerable and obviously upset, and it hurts knowing that he will bottle things up and hide them away until he’s forced to let it all out. 
You don’t push, though. Instead, you take his hand in yours, running your thumb over his bruised knuckles as you lay back against the pillows. The movement causes Dallas to shift slightly, and he wraps his arms around your waist, pulling you impossibly close, and he drifts off within seconds. 
You let your slip shut, allowing yourself to drift easily along with him, content to lay here with him and wait patiently until he’s ready to talk. 
“Hey, where’s Dally and Y/N?” Pony’s voice breaks through the cheerful laughter of the gang as they bounce around the living room, most still high on adrenaline and excitement, only slowing down slightly once the question reaches their ears. 
They all glanced about the space, their eyes scanning over every possible corner, before coming to rest with each other, sharing the same look of confusion. 
Darry pushes himself up from his chair with a sigh, tossing the first-aid kit in his lap to Soda, who catches it with ease. “Y/N is in her room. She might know where Dallas is.” The gang all watches as he heads down the hall, stopping just outside your door to knock softly. 
When there's no response, he frowns, glancing back towards the gang before knocking again. Still nothing. With a quick shrug, he turns the doorknob gently, pushing open the door and peeking inside.
Your bedroom is dark except for the faint glow emanating from your desk lamp, which illuminates the walls with a soft pale glow. Darry is about to call out to you, about to question you on where Dallas is, when he spots the hood in question asleep with his head in your lap. 
His breath hitches, and he pauses, his gaze wandering to you, your fingers threaded through his blonde locks. 
“Soda. Pony.” Darry calls quietly, catching both brothers’ attention immediately as he speaks. “Get over here.”
The two boys scramble up from their places on the couch, racing across the room and peering into your darkened room curiously, their eyes widening at the sigh before them.
“Well, damn.” Sodapop lets out a low whistle as the rest of the gang come up behind them. Two-Bit lets out a short laugh, and Steve cuts him off with a sharp elbow to the ribs. “I told you,” the former whispers, grinning broadly. “I told you they had something going on!” 
The group all share a look, the sound of Darry clearing his throat echoing in the quiet house. Slowly, he backs out of the room. closing the door once more and letting out a breath. 
There are words that will need to be had, promises that need to be made, but he supposes that can wait for another time. Right now, he'll let you and Dallas have your moment because it seems it's been long awaited. And it certainly has.
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𝐚𝐬𝐤𝐬 𝐚𝐫𝐞 𝐜𝐮𝐫𝐫𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐥𝐲 𝐨𝐩𝐞𝐧 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐫𝐞𝐪𝐮𝐞𝐬𝐭𝐬!!
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