#now i have to recover

[rubenesque-as-fuck]

You mean I have to go through the mortifying ordeal of being known all OVER again now??!?

#done got dumped #a friendly amicable dumping but still #now i have to recover #and then spend who knows how many years again looking for someone worth my time #someone who at least seems worth trying to let in #the mortifying ordeal of being known #I don't wanna have to make myself vulnerable again #all of the 'I'm like -this- can you like me anyway' little potentials for rejection #can you like me despite my body and my health problems and my cptsd and everything else wrong with me #can i offer enough to be worth your time and affection #will i even be enough for someone to really want #texts to nobody

[suntails]

reality

#blinks so cutely at u. im baaaack #i only have it in me to do one piece for 7.7 i think. i just dont think the rest grabs my brain id rather draw other stuff :D #ive started a new job (NOT animation) by now so im re-adjusting to job hours vs fun hours but the job is easy breezy so im happy!!! #i work in an office i answer the phone like twice a day and i file some paperwork and i eat candy at my desk. its the best #AND im lined up to take over as supervisor in a few months. smiles lovingly at the camera. the dream <3 #speaking of dreams haha idia my guy umm so how u doing buddy. u doin okay? will u recover from this buddy pal chum guy? :D #he'll be fine im proud of him #twst #twisted wonderland #idia shroud #book 7 spoilers #ch 7 spoilers #suntails

[transgendz]

My roommate and I are financially unstable while he does through a long, complicated diagnosis process that started as we stopped being homeless. I just got a job, and it's going to pay well and allow us to get caught up and stable, but I don't get my check for a week and a half. We have rent due on the 1st, our storage bill due at the end of the month, and we are out of food.

Dm me for proof or details

I will do art for anyone who gives, just message me @theartistrans I also take commissions there.

Dm me for zelle

$creepiecrippl

V

PP

$0/$900

#for anyone curious we are growing our own food to reduce food costs and thats going well but takes literal months and we were only able to #start as it got warmer so things are a little slow on that but we also have enough planted to feed us already so theres that #and i am actually still applying to more jobs in hopes of getting a 2nd because its expensive to have medical issues turns out #we are just now recovering from bad malnutrition issues thats kept us both on and off sick for months and my roommate is still severely #underweight but hes gained a little🎉

[mugwot]

funnyjokespunperson

#cozy-comfy reading a book recovering <3 #vulnerability? sorry all they got is puns #love them for it tbh so real for that #i imagine this being somewhen post-game so #isat spoilers #sorry but i do not believe that Vaugarde or really any other place has no constellations at all #they are so usefull! for navigation or for calendar keeping! #so yeah now there Are constellations they are just niche knowledge for like sailing or for understanding how the calendar formed #i guess there is also specifically ursa minor what a coincidence #did you know that there are myths based on how constellations behave through out the year? #scorpio and orion are never seen on the sky at the same time and theres a myth about how the scorpion killed him #but he was immortalized on the night sky (the scorpion also got immortalized because fuck orion) #rant over have a nice day #isat #in stars and time #isat siffrin #my art

[silksongeveryday]

Drawing Hornet everyday until Silksong comes out - Day 348

I’m often not good at articulating my words with this kind of thing and often get anxious talking about this stuff because I’ve made plenty of mistakes in the past accidentally posting misinformation or outright wrong information. So I’ve been taking the time to be careful about what I choose and researched and educated myself on the sources below to make sure they’re real and actually helpful.

Below this are links to sources of different things that can donate and help with the current events going on in Palestine. If you can’t donate for whatever reason, you can still help my reblogging and spreading the word. Please do your part.

PCRF (Palestine Children’s Relief Fund)

Feminine Hygene Kits for Gaza

Fresh Food Supply for Gaza

^ they also accept PayPal donations

E-Sims Donations (allows connection to outside)

#free palestine #hollow knight #silksong #hk hornet #hollow knight hornet #silksong hornet #hollow knight fanart #hk fanart #also a bit of context for those wondering why I didn’t do this sooner: #I’ve been sick for the past week and have barely started to recover #I wanted to write this with as clear of a mind as possible and that hasn’t happened until now

[biggest-gaudiest-patronuses]

*tries to organize my thoughts*

*remembers i'm not in school and therefore beholden to neither heaven nor hell nor any man's grading system*

*joyously shredding & tossing all my carefully arranged 3x5 mental notecards into the air like so much beige confetti. raising my arms in victory, cheering raucously until i accidentally inhale bits of homemade confetti*

(*coughing up itty bits of paper like a cat evicting a hairball with a firm understanding of tenants' rights*) wait wat happens next

#i marie kondoed my thoughts and *i* feel great. but now my stream-of-consciousness has escaped containment #so many innocent bystanders at stake #every time i try to organize my thoughts i run out of plastic bins and have to make a trip to the container store where i get even more dis #racted so. you can't just hand me THIS brain and NO catalogue OR library classification system #and expect me to single-handedly sort through all this nonsense? bad form but fucking form not in my job description #aNYways. formal education sure did a FUCKING NUMBER on us huh #(a number i measure not in gpa or dollars of student debt. #but in the number of therapy sessions & medical debt it will take to recover.) #seriously folks. our education systems are...innately traumatizing for a huge number of students. and we NEED to address this. #the fact that it is culturally common for adults to have anxiety nightmares about school/exams...even decades later? #that is not cute. it is Alarming. #no one--much less entire generations--should be spending their developmental years in an environment of chronic stress & pressure & strain #and yet that is the reality for millions and millions of pre-teen and teenage and young adult students #this isn't healthy and it serves and empowers NO ONE #...except of course the many exploitative educational & financial & debt-collecting institutions thriving from the current balance of power #and of course it's a nefarious and powerful way to sabotage/erase the middle class #which billionaires and the wealth-inequality creators they finance couldn't possibly have any noteworthy interest in whatsoever #it's not like there's an elite group of people with huge financial incentives to drain/steal resources from the masses... #anyways sorry for going all Conspiracy Theory on you. #obviously the billionaires who control the vast majority of our resources and news and political campaign funding #are not tied to every single itty bitty social issue and i'm a silly billy to imply it #please tell elon musk to ignore this tweet i am so subservient and acquiescent #mr musky u r so good at inheriting slavery-built mining fortunes & buying other people's companies #& building rocket ships & fancy cars that do NOT explode/catch fire & also NOT running billion dollar companies into the ground #mr musky u r so talented genius billionaire playboy with 10 kids and ex-wives who find you creepy af babe u r basically iron man

[thesunsethour]

in the matinee performance of les mis today in london enjolras came sprinting on stage during One Day More singing “ONE MORE DAY BEFO-“ and then slipped and fell flat on his ass and it was absolutely glorious. so privileged to have seen this in person

#djavan van de fliert you now have my heart #les mis #enjolras #les miserables #he recovered BRILLIANTLY #whenever professional actors have little mishaps like this it makes me feel better about falling off a chair while i was in Chicago

[uncanny-tranny]

Anger is such a normal part of recovery, and I wish it were normalized. I think it is genuinely harmful to depict recovery as this era of your life that only sets you free and makes you euphoric, and there will never again be a cloud in the sky because you have Ultimately Healed.

It's the fucking opposite sometimes. Recovery can feel violent, because the things you are recovering from are often (though not always) violent. It is so common to feel white-hot rage, grief, catharsis, elation, numbness - in essence, a whole host of emotions that aren't pretty, or aren't simple little categories to be neatly boxed and sorted and understood by the "normals."

Those recovering: Your emotions are real, and they aren't bad. You aren't a bad person for how you are processing and healing. You, however, aren't alone. You are doing so fucking well, no matter what it is you are healing from or for. I genuinely hope you can be proud of that.

#mental health #mental health advocacy #recovery #the first time i actually *let* myself feel anger and rage was truly the point i felt free #because throughout my time trying to recover i was TERRIFIED and HORRIFIED that i could feel those Bad Emotions #and that rage hit me suddenly because i couldn't hold that anger in anymore #it's almost funny to me now though #me driving: 😀 || my brain: I Am So Fucking Irate About [recovery thing] I Never Deserved That || me: 🤬 #i know for a fact that i have talked about this but i quite literally still need to talk about this

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

"See you tomorrow"

MDZS Disco Elysium AU part 4 [prev parts]

#better drawn mdzs #MDZS Disco Elysium AU #mdzs au #Lan wangji #wei wuxian #yiling laozu #Happy Belated Halloween! #digital art #Thank you all for your patience as I drove myself into a madness only known by those lost at seas alone. #I put a lot of time into this one! It's not perfect but I am very happy with it + I am so happy to put down the tablet pen. #Digital art has some nice features but I'm sticking with traditional! I need a month to recover from the 2+ weeks of torture. #Okay lets talk about the AU and the comic now #Disco elysium has some of the best existential-horror-dream sequences I have ever seen. #The dialogue here is heavily inspired by The Final Dream - A scene I'd love to talk about more were it not so heavy with spoilers. #My AU is a lot more complex than a simple character swap but I really felt like LWJ + YLLZ fit this scene. #The final dream is about being unable to move on from a lost love. From something You made holy. From something You ruined. #It is about realizing that no matter how smart you are or what you offer or how you try to change - #You will never be able to turn back time. You will never ever be able to fix what is broken. That you also have been broken for a long time #You are a fuck-up who worships the nail covered ground of someone who did not want to be holy. And even though it hurts- #You cannot let this nightmare go. The pain keeps the love close. It is worse to forget. You promised to remember. #WWX died thinking LWJ disliked him. LWJ lost someone he thought was revolted by his love.

[kaladinkholins]

yall i just KEEP doing back to mizu and taigen's wrestling scene in master eiji's forge and like i know that taigen literally got a boner from it BUT THE THING IS out of all the scenes these two have together, this scene actually has the least sexual tension ?!? cuz like the boner aside, this scene is actually very soft and emotions-driven rather than pure passion or lust.

arguably, a more passionate and sexually-charged scene would be their previous brawl in the snow with the chopsticks, which is tense and angry and also the scene that mizu thinks about when madame kaji talks about being honest with one's innermost desires.

but THIS scene in the forge? warm colours. their laughter and their smiles that both equally genuine. the WAY taigen looks at mizu in that scene, staring first at her lips, her smile, then looking into her eyes. and you can see by the framing of the scene and the look on his face that he is, for the first time, seeing her eyes as something beautiful rather than off-putting or frightening.

like before this point he's already come to not only respect mizu as a person and an equal but also admires her as an incredible swordsman and as someone who is kind and honourable* for having saved his life at the expense of her revenge quest. so as of the time of them tussling in the forge, taigen has already put aside his prejudices about mizu's blue eyes and no longer finds them as any cause for disgust. but in this scene he's not just indifferent about her eyes, but attracted too it.

and i'd also like to argue that his boner is not from the physical exertion or the act of wrestling itself, but from the intimacy of a playful spar, enjoying each other's easy company after having established a deep trust with each other (taigen endured torture for mizu and helped defend her from archers in the chasm while mizu saved his life from fowler's castle)

and all this while in the safety of mizu's childhood home while both of them are still recovering from near-death, amplifying their vulnerability with each other.

like when was the last time mizu cracked a genuine smile, let alone a laugh that's more than a little wry chuckle?? and for this to happen at such a low point in her life also speaks to the comfort this little friendly spar gives her.

because like, this is after she failed her mission to kill fowler. meanwhile her sword--the embodiment of her soul--is broken, and ringo who is her closest confidant is now angry at her and barely even looks at her. it just further lends to the inherent tenderness and intimacy in this scene. and i just. AHHHH i love them your honour....

* ALSO as a side note about taigen believing mizu to be honourable: he later realises that this assumption turns out to be quite false when she reveals that she'd not only allowed akemi to be taken away against her will but also has said nothing about fowler's impending attack on edo. also i find it very interesting that out of the two revelations, taigen is less angered by mizu letting akemi being married off (he sighs angrily and marches off saying he has to go to edo to find akemi), but much more angered by mizu's refusal to save the shogun and the shogunate as a whole. this is more proof that taigen's central principles are firmly rooted in the bushido and the concept of honour that comes with that. it's why he lashes out at mizu. because he'd believed mizu to be honourable and righteous, but was proven wrong. that's not to say that taigen is in the right for calling mizu a demon, not by any means. but i just find it a very interesting part of his character and it relates to his relationship and perception of mizu

also while rewatching the episode i found this very funny they just lyin there in the cart like this 🧍🏽‍♂️🧍🏽‍♂️

#blue eye samurai #mizu x taigen #taimizu #taizu #taigen blue eye samurai #mizu blue eye samurai #blue eye samurai meta #sorry yall but i prefer taimizu as the ship name so i'll probably just be using that from now on 🫡 #also like.. the way im still recovering from covid while i have 2 deadlines back to back tomorrow and the day after #but im too busy hyperfixating on this show!!!! #if only i could channel all this energy into my actual literary studies papers that'd be great #but at the moment i be caring more about these fuckers than whatever william blake's got going on #jk i do still love william blake's poetry but my stupid ships take up way more space in my brain ykwim 🤒 #anyway... #shut up haydar #meta dissertations.pdf #fandom.rtf

[booksandmate]

On understanding and other things

I think part of the reason why that final talk is so painful is because it shows that they don't know each other as well as they wanted to believe. Both of their ideas about who the other is and what they want are based mostly on what they want the other to be and not on who they really are.

They both want to be together, but in different ways. Aziraphale wants them to be on the same side, on the side of heaven. Crowley wants them to be on their own side, one apart from heaven and hell and everything they know, one where they can be themselves as Crowley and Aziraphale, not as angel and demon or even angel and angel.

And I think the reason they want such different things has to do with a number of things that could be summed up in their different life experiences and, consequently, their views on idealism and big changes.

Aziraphale never got over who they were in the beginning. I think for both of them that might have been one of the most beautiful moments of their lives, because they were still together, on the same side, simply in awe of the beauty of creation and unaware of the problems that would arise in the future. It is the only part of their history where they could be on the same side without breaking the rules, so it is only natural that Aziraphale remembers it as the best of times. But it ended with Crowley being unfairly cast out, so it's only sensible that he has a completely different perception.

And Aziraphale still believes Crowley to be an angel. He interprets his rejection of evil and his pursuit of goodness as a remnant of the angel he used to be and his desire to be one again. And actually, this interpretation makes sense, but it’s just not the correct one. Crowley has again and again denied his demon nature, doing everything in his power to do as little evil as possible without his head office noticing, yes, but not because he wants to be an angel.

Crowley has given up the idea of heaven as fundamentally good a long time ago, as it has proven, in more than one ocassion, to be capable of as much cruelty as hell itself in the name of an imagined greater good. Crowley's experience as an angel was good only at the very beginning. Once he learned that heaven was more about following rules than doing good, his idea of it was lost.

In short, Crowley doesn't want to be a demon any more than he wants to be an angel. It is not a matter of which side, but of the existence of sides per se. He does not like the system and does not want to be part of it from either side.

That is why he is hurt, because after so long, Aziraphale misunderstood his true nature. Crowley wants to be good, yes, but not in an angelic way. He doesn't want to go back to the place where rules and great plans matter more than real goodness. He just wants to be himself, outside of preconceived ideas of good and evil.

And so Aziraphale's offer to return to all that comes to Crowley as a disappointment. To realise that after all these years the one person you can consider a friend doesn't really understand you, the one person who has stood by you, listened to you, protected you, and done everything that no one else ever did. That even that person can't understand what you are, well, it must have felt like a stab in the chest.

And the same is true the other way around.

Crowley wanted to think that after the events of s1, Aziraphale had finally accepted who he was and what he (they) wanted. In the same way that Crowley hasn't been good at being a demon, Aziraphale hasn't been good at being an angel, and Crowley thinks that puts them in the same place. But it doesn't, because although Aziraphale is not just a clueless angel who silently follows the rules, neither has he been let down in the same way that Crowley has.

As I mentioned earlier, their difference of opinion is based (not entirely, but largely) on their different experiences of heaven. Aziraphale has been let down by heaven a couple of times throughout history, but none of them could match what Crowley had to go through when he was cast out. Aziraphale knows this, but he can never truly understand it.

So even when they both understand that heaven is not ideal, one of them approaches it with exasperating idealism, while the other doesn't even try anymore.

#may have forgotten important points but this is all i can do for now #i will need 5-10 business days to recover #good omens 2 #good omens #good omens season 2 #good omens spoilers #gos2 spoilers #good omens meta

[aroaceleovaldez]

related to Nico's ridiculous crush on Percy, we don't talk about this bit from TLO enough as a fandom

Nico's having A Moment thinking about his crush here and it's so funny to me.

#pjo #percy jackson #nico di angelo #Nico seeing that Percy is Even Hotter and More Badass now: WHAT HAVE I DONE #its also funnier knowing Nico has only just recovered from nearly passing out #which also is funnier when you take into account BoO and Nico - one foot in the grave - coming out to Percy #Nico whenever he's mildly delirious and around Percy: i need to be gay RIGHT NOW

[couch-house]

some echidnas and a jackass

#sth #sonic the hedgehog #knuckles the echidna #stc #sonic the comic #fleetway sonic #fleetway knuckles #comics #fanart #id in alt text #i couldnt figure out how to word the comic but like. knuckles remembering things abt his old life is a big deal i think #paint is obviously contextual to each person and this is supposed to be paint that wasn't really For him #but he's exploring roles he couldnt have before since like. it's just him now. #he's testing things out. this is important to him. #and sonic iiisss a dick :) #incapable of being nice #anyway sorry (no im not) for not posting. ive been busy. and recovering from being busy #i had a fun two-page comic idea i might still do. or maybe not. that's a lot of work

[dawnbreakersgaze]

Shut the fuuuuuck up

I've long suspected that Mt Eternal is where the Tower of Thorns rests (or what is left of it anyway) due to several factors- the biggest being how chapter 8 ends with Zayne on Mt Eternal either sealing or clearing (interacting in some way at least) with something frozen or buried in the ice and snow there.

However, last night I was doing some rereading, and this afternoon a very specific thing caught my attention.

That is DEFINITELY the exact same mountain peak. I grew up in the Teton mountain range in the Rockies, my stupid little lizard brain recognizes peak patterns before anything else lol.

Maybe I'm super late to the party and everyone else already knows exactly what it is Zayne is doing here, but this makes me feel like he's finally remembering who he is now, and he's trying to either gain access to the tower (for abilities? A prophecy? The staff?) Or he's bound and determined to not let whatever is in there out again if it's trying to reclaim him.

"Remains shackled to time" is also especially troubling when you consider the vines of thorns and chains that literally bound him, and the verse from his myth:

"Astra gifted one of his eyes to the Foreseer. By walking the winding path of time did the Foreseer understand its passing. This is the power of a god” -Philos: Tome of the Foreseer.

The eye of Astra quite literally shackled him to time. While he was boundless in the sense of existing outside of time, he was more constrained than anyone bound to death.

Idk there is a lot to dissect but I need time to piece it all together. I just needed to get this out before I imploded.

#kay's mumbles #love and deepspace #love & deepspace #zayne love and deepspace #zayne #li shen #lads #l&ds #love and deep space #love and deepspace zayne #my brain is mush from lack of sleep but i have so many theories now #I'll rewrite this when i recover from being how i am rn

[letssofia3006]

@octoemm au where wittechild met the first grimwalker haven't left my mind since.

There are so many possibilities, their slow born friendship, how are their relationships with their parental figures, and how both Evelyn and Belos choose to cope with Caleb's death. The inevitable angst for 1st grimwalker death, and later, how would Wittechild and Evelyn's dynamic change with the two of them having survivor guilt...Ngggggg

Nevertheless, have this minicomic....as a treat

#the owl house #toh #caleb wittebane #I still have many thoughts #and now that my drawing tablet is recover I can finally smash them into my drawing app #Also I forgot to mention #but I live for the headcanon that Caleb taught Evelyn how to carve #And that the two of them started the Clawthorne palisman carver tradition #my art

[kirby-the-gorb]

#kirby #firearms #guns #swearing #ask to tag #daily kirby #my art #digital #hal laboratory #nintendo #it's a goddamn Day once again #while still recovering from the rest of the week my doctor informed me that it's clinic policy that I can't stay on my prednisone #so I have to either leave the clinic or lose the one med giving me even a desperate tenuous grasp on basic tolerable qol #and then while I was drawing there was some kind of altercation in another building #so now I'm on high alert for that too #also fun fact I have not touched a firearm in 7 1/2 years but I drew that m4 from memory lol #(btw this is a play on 'I am not god's strongest soldier') #(which is a play on 'god gives his toughest battles to his strongest soldiers') #tbh I should've drawn kirby sharpening a knife but this is what we got today