#obviously the not hot take is there were not enough gay people to be representative of a true dnd campaign

[filibusterphil]

My hot take from the dnd movie is that Edgin is not a bard (no magic) but instead is a mastermind rogue with the entertainer background.

#honor among thieves #dnd #dnd movie #edgin darvis #obviously the not hot take is there were not enough gay people to be representative of a true dnd campaign #and an insane number of wild shapes but it was cool so I’ll allow it #very fun movie #though I needed some more Nat ones/low rolls #we didn’t fail enough #still absolutely recommend #even though our not-a-bard didn’t even try and bone the hot paladin

[grendelsmilf]

regan&goneril 😄 and um ... chu chu

hot take perhaps but lear’s daughters all suck in their own unique ways (cordelia too) but also are extremely justified in how they manage to cope with their circumstance (being crushed under the unyielding boot of patriarchal authority) and while goneril is undoubtedly “the worst” she is reacting desperately to the desperate situation she has been molded by. there’s a great debate ongoing throughout s3 of slings & arrows (the lear season) as to whether regan kills goneril or goneril kills herself and i do think that the conclusion they come to (which is the one stated by the text, obviously), that goneril killed herself out of despair for what she had done, is really the only conclusion that makes sense when considering that she is [supposed to represent] a human being. i bring up their ending only because it so totally frames their entire relationship, being pitted against each other and ultimately undone by a man onto whose power they stake their own, the same way that their competition for lear’s love/land/approval in the first scene establishes that their sisterhood and mutual agreement is conditional. i don’t think that lear was ever kind to them, at least, not after cordelia was born, and i doubt he was ever kind to their mother, either. it’s not that they think his sovereign power is ontologically necessitated, but neither of them has enough hope for their own autonomy within this landscape to even consider playing outside its rules. cordelia does for the same reason that edgar does, which is due to loving their father as a human being, recognizing their fallibility in a sympathetic light, rather than viewing their father as a symbol of authority whose frailty can be exploited for a chance at freedom, as r&g do (and edmund views his father as an arbitrary cage from which he must escape, which is valid, but his downfall lies in believing that seizing the keys to the cage is more beneficial than leaving it altogether, wherein lies is his downfall). anyway i think regan is the sister i empathize with the most, because she manages to “do everything right” but she still loses her loving partner and dies placing her trust in love between sisters superseding her trust in heteropatriarchy. and of course, even though she does die, she’s still right to assume that goneril would never betray her, because she immediately cannot cope with the consequences of her betrayal once she does. they’re obviously very different characters, but she sort of parallels desdemona in this regard. “a guiltless death i die…” (i know that offstage deaths are integral to this play but i do wish we had seen goneril’s suicide just because othello’s suicide monologue really does go so hard.) edmund is of course also central to their relationship, and his relationships to both of them define their differences as people so well. and i think that if they had come to an agreement dictating the terms of both of their relationships with him, where he would be married to regan so she could maintain her security as a recently widowed woman while goneril continued her affair with him, they would both benefit without argument. although perhaps edmund would be disappointed because goneril fighting for him proves that he means something to her on his own terms (even if those terms are just being a better fuck than her aloof gay husband). but whatever. what was i saying…

oh yes. chu-chu. i rmr asking you when i first finished utena what chu-chu means and u were like well he is just a little monkey. i think he is but he is also anthy’s “true” feelings, anthy behind her cynicism and numbness, playful and silly and loving and angry. the fact that he doesn’t go with anthy to akio’s observatory represents the way she disassociates when he rapes her. and the fact that utena first claims that she’s staying for chu-chu is so secretly profound in this context because utena, ultimately, even if she doesn’t know it yet, is not trying to protect/save the rose bride, but anthy, that tortured little girl she saw all those years ago. and who/what represents anthy’s true spirit, the unbroken core of her buried deep within her vessel, that supposedly heartless doll with no capacity for love or pain? utena does not remember vowing to free anthy from her torment, but anthy remembers. and chu-chu immediately takes a liking to her, even if anthy steels herself and attempts to guard her heart from the foolhardy girl-prince who reminds her so much of dios when she first loved him.

#wordforworldisforest #ask #hi <3 #ill get to the other ones later but u know i HAD to talk abt king lear #and chuchu ofc

[thestalkerbunny]

Oh you already know most of the story of team star then, what do you think of them all?

-I had to get up out from under my blankets to get my laptop cause I didn't wanna type this all out on my phone, that was a mistake. it's so cold now, I'm so cold-

TLDR: I love them some of the best Bosses.

Spoilers below

I feel like with Team Star-they learned from Sun and Moon what angle tugs at the players heart strings. Like Team Skull was sympathetic because it was a bunch of displaced teens and young adults. Guzma obviously had a shit home life he managed to get out of, and Plumeria's probably wasn't much better. To me-the whole thing with a bunch of kids just sort of dropping out would have been a sort of head nod on the fact how in the actual Hawaiian Islands-a lot of people can't AFFORD to escape the area because it's too expensive. Too Expensive to live there and too broke to try and escape. Teens who have long since accepted that Alola would be just as much their doom and their grave as well as the place of their birth.

Team Star succeeds in that angle of a strong commentary on how bullying and abuse of authority powers within a boarding school setting can occur. The Team Star members were demonized for fighting back, their leader shoulder the entire blame for it to protect all of them-only for the VP of the School to pull a whole coverup scandal leading to a mass WALK OUT of not only the Headmaster but also all the teachers at the time.

I could go on-but jumping back on focus

Just taking a hot look at the cast of Team Star-these are obviously gay kids. Are you kidding me. Just the way Mela WALKS alone-Gay. Atticus's pretty boy face and interest in fashion? GAY. Ortega's just.....everything? Well there's a reason why being gay in the 1920s was called being a fairy. This is a gay friend group that had enough, fought back and were declared unruly for it.

And I adore them.

They were some of the most fun bosses I've fought in a while-and I greatly enjoyed Pokemon Legends Arceus Warden Fights and the Sun and Moon Kahuna and Trial Fights. Team Star is bright colorful and fun-they all have their own very strong personalities and sense of style and they stand out. You can tell just by looking at them what their vibes are. Even their logo-a Star, has a point of the star to represent each of them. And all of them bring something special and unique to the team from mechanic skills to music to clothing designs, etc.

Personally Atticus is my favorite; but Ortega is running a HARD CLOSE SECOND-we love a little fop of a gent

#TSB ask #Pokemon SV spoilers #Team Star

[aewriting]

This story idea for 9-1-1 Lone Star hit me last night, and made me realize that I haven't written anything from Carlos's perspective yet.  I feel like there's a lot we still don't know about Carlos, but here's my attempt to fill in a few blanks.

Warning for sexual references.

Here it is on AO3, if you prefer.

***

It’s been... a while, since Carlos felt this way. Longer than he really cares to think about. Giddy, almost. Distracted. He’d been surprised when T.K. had texted him about going to a club, taking a friend out with them. “Friend,” huh? Playing third wheel to T.K. and some new guy was not his idea of a fun time. In fact, it made him question T.K.’s motives, even more than he had been already. Because T.K. had been quite the cypher. Here’s what he knew. Real name was Tyler Kennedy. Hot as fuck. Good with his mouth. Good with his whole damn body, actually. And Carlos’s, fuck. Liked it a little rough... maybe even a lot rough, depending. Firefighter. Captain’s son. Moved here from New York City about three months ago. Has been up really high, forty-plus stories on the, the Chrysler building, was it? Going, going through some shit. Obviously. He instigated that fist fight at that shady bar, so some adrenaline-seeking behavior, maybe? Apparently had a bad break up in New York, relapsed, is in recovery now (prefers mineral water), has some mood stuff going on... Is not looking for anything serious right now. So, yeah, he didn’t have the best reaction to the whole text about the club. Until T.K. clarified. Paul just got shot down. Think he needs some fun. Carlos had frowned. Paul. Paul Strickland? He was another firefighter with the 126. Where you thinking? Thought maybe you could guide us. Then, I want to dance. Carlos exhaled. Yeah, he wanted T.K. to dance, too. Preferably with him. There’s Rain on 4th. Sounds good. We get off at 10. Carlos had looked at the phone, debated what he was about to type, wondered if it was too transparent. Paul ok with going to a gay club? Yeah, had come T.K.’s quick reply. He’s straight but he’ll be cool with it. And Carlos had finally relaxed, at that. I’ll drive, he’d typed out, allowing himself a small smile. He’d showered carefully, brushed and flossed his teeth, styled his hair. Put on a little cologne. Spent too much time debating what to wear, because... because he wanted to impress T.K., dammit, but didn’t want it to be obvious. He’d finally settled on a t-shirt and jeans - casual but still nice. Flattering. And, yeah, he’d even gone to one of those drive-through car washes. And when T.K. bounded down the steps of the 126, flashing him a conspiratorial smile and leaning easily against his car, hip to hip with Carlos, he knew that all his preparations had been worth it.

It had felt good, walking into the club next to T.K. - even better when T.K. reached for him, brought him in close. Carlos doesn’t think he’s a particularly possessive guy, not one to show off, either, but there was something about being in that club with T.K., seeing people’s eyes on him, on them, together... it gave him a boost, a direct shot to his ego, having this gorgeous guy on his arm, dancing up against him for anyone to see. Fuck, he’s got it bad. Which is probably why he’s still thinking about it days later. At work. When he should be finishing up a report. He sighs deeply and redirects his attention to his computer. “Hola, Carlos,” comes a familiar, and rather unwelcome voice. “Hello, Roger,” Carlos says, purposefully. Roger was one of only a handful of out cops in the department, and of that small group, he was Carlos’s least favorite. By far. He’d always found him to be overly familiar. Unprofessional. Vain as hell. He’d been relentless when he’d found out Carlos was gay, making pointed comments about how much he wanted to get to know Carlos better, how helpful it would be to let off some steam together... Roger was attractive, and Carlos would be lying if he said he’d never thought about it, but after one particularly lewd comment, Carlos had made it very clear that their... preferences were simply incompatible. While that had at least stopped Roger from directly propositioning him, it didn’t stop the conversation entirely, just shifted it. When Roger approached him now, it was often to brag - about his prowess, his partners. The company dancer with Ballet Austin, the hot barista, the musician... Carlos tried to shut it down, when he could, but with a guy like Roger it was hard sometimes. “How was your weekend?” Roger asks. “Fine,” Carlos says, nonchalant. “Picked up a shift late Friday.” “And after that? You go out?” Roger smiles. “Do anyone fun?” Carlos looks at him sharply, and he’s still grinning. It clearly wasn’t a slip. Roger just tilts his head to the side. “I saw you. At Rain.” Shit. “Yeah?” Carlos says, casually. “Yeah. Waved to you.” “I must have missed you.” Roger shrugs. “Yeah, well, I was up on the second level, and you looked a little, ah, preoccupied.” He gives Carlos a lascivious grin, pulls up a chair, and sits down. Carlos rolls his eyes. “I’m on the clock, here,” he says. “Um, not anymore, Reyes. It’s noon. Lunch break.” Damn him. He must have planned the timing of this. Carlos rubs a hand tiredly over his face. “Eat in the break room with me?” And unfortunately, he can’t think up a good excuse not to, at the moment. “Fine,” Carlos says, tightly. He takes his time getting his lunch out of the shared fridge and heating it up - anything to delay the inevitable conversation with Roger. He knows that look, on Roger, that tone, and he suspects that he hasn’t heard the end of his night out. As expected, Carlos barely sits down before Roger’s talking again. “Quite the little piece of ass you were with. Hope you got some of that. Way he was dancing, kid’s a fucking tease if you didn’t.” He didn’t. Get some. Not in the way Roger means, not that night. What he had gotten, though, was a smile, a genuine one when they’d dropped Paul off at his house, loose and laughing. A firm squeeze of his hand when they’d finally said goodbye at the end of the night. A soft but earnest, “I had a really good time tonight.” Carlos exhales, looks at Roger. “The guys I was out with are colleagues, actually. From the 126. New in town.” He sees the recognition, then, on Roger’s face. The realization. “Oh shit, wait, for real? Was that the new Captain’s son? T.J.? T.R.?” “T.K.,” Carlos says tightly. “That’s it, yeah.” Roger laughs a little. “They came down from New York City, right?” “Yeah,” Carlos replies. Roger grins, all teeth. “Well, shit. Kid knows what he’s doing then, huh?” Carlos frowns. “He and his father have been good additions to the team. Definitely experienced.” Roger barks out a laugh. “I wasn’t talking about that kind of experience.” He shakes his head. “I swear, Carlos, you could be cleaning the fuck up if you would just use a goddamn app. You know how many guys the whole cop thing works for?” He smiles again. “I’ve never fucked a firefighter, though. You think he’s into cops? Or better yet,” Roger leans in closer, winks, “you think he likes it when they’re into him?” And that’s about enough. “Think you’d have to ask him that,” Carlos says, voice cold. He makes a show of snapping his lunch case shut, getting up. “Now if you’ll excuse me, I have a report to finish.” He’s up and leaving before Roger can say anything else. Moves quickly back to his desk and sits down heavily. Damn. Roger’s comments have left him off-balance, out of sorts. Because he knows, knows he has no claims over T.K. - T.K.’s made that very clear. But the idea of T.K. with someone like Roger... He shakes his head. Nope. Don’t think about it. T.K.’s a grown man who can do whatever the hell he wants. And Carlos is a grown man, too, with a very real report that needs completed before end of shift today. But he can’t stop thinking about it. He knows, more than he wants to, about what Roger’s into… and knows it’s not a bad fit, necessarily, for T.K.  And the fact that T.K.’s on Roger’s radar now, well... Carlos can’t help but picture them together - T.K. on his knees for Roger, Roger’s hands on T.K.’s skin, Roger using his body to pull all those wrecked sounds out of him... Shit. This has to stop. He’s not, not usually like this. What the hell is it about T.K. that’s gotten to him like this? He decides to take a lap, goes to the water cooler to refill his bottle. By the time he gets back to his desk, he’s feeling clearer - or at least a little more determined not to think about things he can’t control.

*** It’s almost a week later, and a delegation of first responders is all gathered at city hall for a training about an impending upgrade to the 911 network. Michelle’s there, as are representatives from the 126 - T.K. and Marjan, specifically. Carlos gives a little nod T.K.’s direction, is relieved when T.K. returns the favor. They break for lunch - a catered deal with sandwich fixings, chips, cookies. Carlos is about to rip open a little bag of Lay’s when T.K. approaches him. “Hey.” “Hey,” Carlos replies, looking T.K. over a bit. He looks nervous, almost. “It’s nice out. Wanna sit outside?” Carlos glances to his left, at Michelle, who is just about to start in on her turkey sandwich. She smiles. “It’s pretty bright out, and I don’t have my sunscreen on.” Carlos doesn’t miss her slight smirk, her raised eyebrow. “Why don’t you two go ahead without me?” Carlos gives her a little look, feels the way she kicks him under the table. “Okay. See you in a bit, then.” He grabs his lunch, follows T.K. out to a little picnic table. After some standard pleasantries and a brief discussion about a recent house fire they both worked, T.K. puts his sandwich down. Bites his lip. “You, um, you know a guy named Roger? Roger Sizemore? He’s a cop.” And now Carlos is setting his sandwich down too, responding carefully. “Yeah, I know him. Why?” “Just... I dunno, he was working a call with us - that accident out by the airport yesterday, the bad one.” Carlos nods. “You...” T.K. pauses. “You guys friends, or anything?” He glances down. “Said he knew you, and I wasn’t sure how, if it was just, like, work stuff, or...” He trails off. “Yeah,” Carlos replies quickly. “It’s just work. We’re not, not close or anything.” T.K. seems to relax a bit, at that. “Okay, yeah, I didn’t think so but figured I’d ask.” He looks up at Carlos with those big eyes. “What do you think of him?” He’s an ass, Carlos wants to say. Doesn’t. “He... he can be a bit much, sometimes.” And T.K. blows out a breath, chuckles a little. “Fuck, yeah, glad it wasn’t just me, then.” He shakes his head. “Dude fucking hit on me. Like, hardcore. Right in the middle of a call.” His eyes narrow a bit. “Said... said he heard I liked guys in uniform.” Carlos closes his eyes, briefly. Fucking Roger. “I... god, I’m sorry, T.K. he saw us together out at Rain the other night, with Paul. Asked me about you. Told him that if he was interested, he’d have to ask you, no one else.” T.K. nods, a little tight. “Yeah, well, he asked, alright. Honestly, he’s gonna get himself in trouble with HR if he keeps doing shit like that on the job.” “Don’t I know it,” Carlos mutters. “And I’ve told him that. He used to pull the same thing with me until...” “Until what?” “’Until I turned him down.” T.K. leans back a little in his seat. Looks pleased. “Well, that makes two of us.” Carlos quirks an eyebrow. “Yeah?” “Oh yeah,” T.K. said, a hint of mischief in his voice. “I just told him the truth, though.” “And what’s that?” T.K.’s smile grows. “I just... kindly let him know that I do like a man in uniform. One very specific man.” Carlos’s eyes go almost comically wide. T.K. shrugs. “What can I say, Officer, this whole thing,” he gestures to Carlos’s uniform, “definitely works for me.” He ducks his head, then, looks almost a little shy. “And I know I said I wasn’t looking for anything serious, and then you said you weren’t trying to be my boyfriend, but... truth is I like you and, and I have fun with you, and I hope you don’t mind me saying so.” If they weren’t in the middle of a work function, Carlos would have kissed him right then. Settles for grabbing his hand under the table, squeezing. “Don’t think I’ve ever minded anything less.”

#my fic #911 lone star #tarlos #tk strand #carlos reyes

[gildedmuse]

Oh.

My.

Fucking.

God.

Sometimes, when I pause in the middle of an episode, Crunchyroll will take it upon myself to say I finished it and start me on the next one. Usually, I catch this and go back. Usually I'm not in this much pain. This particular time I was, and so I didn't realize I had missed anything until I was going back to collect a screenshot that came out wrong.

And do you know what I missed?

DO YOU KNOW WHAT I FUCKING MISSED!?

I... Like.... I boys and smile hug face eys hey you I....

It's okay. Give me a second. I do know how words work.

I just can't handle them right now, that's all.

I mean look at them! Look at my two sword boys! Just look how cute!

No, I mean, really look at them. Study the moment, take it all in. Because I'm going to need someone here to explain to me what is SUPPOSEDLY happening here. I mean, without a doubt, I know what is actually happening, but for the life of me I can't think of how to describe this moment that doesn't boil down to, "obviously cause they want to bang" and somehow I doubt that is what they were going for.

Here, let me lead you through this:

As we have discussed, there is a party happening. Everyone is enjoying themselves in their own little ways: Franky is behaving like a mech to entertain the fairies, Zoro is drinking, Bartolomeo is following Zoro around with more drinks, Luffy is just a bouncing ball of food, Law is standing alone off to the side glaring out into the middle distant. So everyone is having their own fun.

Zoro, apropos of nothing, walks over to Law to talk to him.

Okay..

Weird.

This isn't Luffy or Franky or even Robin. Zoro doesn't just go talk to people. So far we have seen every other Strawhat at this gathering dancing or talking or laughing with someone. The only people Zoro has interacted with are people with bottles of alcohol they want to share with him.

You guys, Law does not have a bottle of alcohol.

So why has the least social member of the Strawhats purposefully sought him out? By the way, "come here?" Oh you sweet innocent sunflower. Why not just open with, "Torao! Hey Torao! Laaaw, come here! I want to hang off you out!"

[Oh you bet your ass we will be going through this scene shot by shot.]

At which point Zoro squats down, and even though it's not his "fly into the sky and cut him up!!!" smile, there is definitely more than a small hint of "danger approaching" to that grin, like he's trying to decide what to do with his prey.

Law doesn't look overly happy about any of this and has clearly decided the best policy is just to ignore Zoro. Let's see how that goes for him.

Every single thing about these pictures is perfect. From Law completely losing his mask of dark seriousness, to Zoro's smile going from over the top, clearly laughing his ass off at Law's reaction, to a slightly more dangerous but still brilliant 'got you now' once Law falls into his lap.

You know that moment in the second from the top. That moment where LAW FALLS INTO ZORO'S LAP?

And finally, my boy's just honestly smiling, having apparently achieved his goal of getting Law in his lap having Law on top of him forcing Law to join in, I guess.

I mean, look at his face! That's not a maniacal grin, isn't leering at him the way he does when he sees something he really wants to cut into pieces. He's not beaming in that way that shows all his teeth and means he's reallying messing with/laughing at you, nor is it his smug victory smirk, the one that means he's already won but still looks preditory for some reason. That is just an honest, happy smile.

For Law.

If Drum island suddenly experienced months of 90° weather it still couldn't represent how much I'm melting inside from that.

Not too mentioned Law's look of total shock. I don't think he's even actually struggling, you guys. I mean, Zoro's strong but not so strong his mere presence prevents the Op-Op fruit from working. I honestly think Law is just freaked out because he's forgotten what physical contact with other humans is like unless he is either actively fighting them. Look at his eyes. They have gone completely BSoD. He has no fucking clue what is happening or why it has to be happening to him.

No wait you guys it somehow keeps getting better!

Because Zoro just sitting there, holding onto Law for like two minutes, smiling and laughing and, okay, sure clearly a little drunk but absolutely having a great time. The only thing that manages to pull his attention off Law for even a second is when he's offered more alcohol and you guys?

Guys, he doesn't even react to the offer of free alcohol immediately!

[Law's face says he either knows he's in trouble if Zoro keeps drinking or he knows he's in trouble that Zoro didn't immediately give him up for more alcohol.]

And of course Law is still completely frazzled. "Why is Zoro-ya touching me where not in a fight right now and he's acting all friendly is he planning some kind of sneak attack? No this is Zoro-ya he thrown himself off a mountain to fight another mountain but he's still holding me and acting friendly and arg I cannot handle this what is happening!?"

I love how Law is angling his body as if he's scared of leaning back and actually Ohmigod touching Zoro, but at the same time, making non real effort to escape. Honestly, watch the gif. The boy doesn't even push, really

He's basically sitting there, not trying to get away, but feelings horribly nervous and desperately trying not to lean against Zoro.

[Give in, Law. I'll bet Zoro is all warm and fabulous to cuddle with.]

Basically, this is what my gay brain sees: You know when you like a girl (or guy) but you're both pretty quiet and shy (or silent and badass serious) plus, you know, you're both dealing with a lot what with almost being murdered and taking down an evil regimen. So there is no way you'd ever ask them out or anything.

But then, miracle of miracles, you both live! Everyone lives! And there's a huge celebration with food and drinks and even more drinks and you are a goddamn sword heddghog who defeat a mountain so people keep filling your cup and the you notice the cute emo boy sitting all alone looking so grim even though you guys won! And you're just tipsy enough to think yourself, fuck it, no one that hot should be alone all night so you go over and without thinking about it, grab him and pull him over to your lap.

And you know when you're really not good with people and ha e this reputation for being dark and broody and even in the middle of a party it doesn't feel normal to relax after years of constantly thinking about revenage. Then suddenly a bit guy has you in your arms and it's super embarrassing because you have no idea what to do and know your going to humiliate yourself and just want to get out there but he just keeps his (really musclar, warm) arm curled around you feel you have to protest the manhandling even thought you aren't sure why?

I mean if I had to take a random stab at what these guys were thinking.

I mean, I assume that the official explanation probably has some perfectly innocent heterosexual justification as to why the less sociable Strawhat absolutely had to pull Law in for an impromptu snuggles session but fuck if I can see it through all the gay.

Quick, someone with a straight brain, please explain to me what is happening in this scene!

Because otherwise every time I see the two of them interact after this, I'm gonna be forced to assume that canonically speaking, Zoro struck out with Law.

This is the single greatest moment ever.

#roronoa zoro #trafalgar d. water law #trafalgar law #does zoro always go around just clinging onto random hot guys when drunk? #is that all? #moment of pure wonder #one piece #dressarosa #shipping #zolaw #zoro x law #this post got long #I have a lot of feeling about Zoro #I have a lot of feelings about Law #Zolaw I can take or leave #By which I mean I will take all the ZoLaw or I will be leaving

[jamestaylorswift]

You're so mind-blowingly brilliant -- your posts never cease to make my day! I don't even have a tumblr account, but I check your page at least ten times/day, hoping for a new analysis. Reading your essay on "folklore"'s dreamscape felt like an acid trip in the best possible way. Please share your thoughts on the original "Cardigan" lyrics ASAP!

Thanks, anon! You’ve got me blushing like a damn fool over here 😊 You’re always welcome on this blog, lurking or otherwise!

Okay so this is more a line of reasoning that starts at the OG “cardigan,” not just lyric analysis. I’m not exactly sure how to organize all these thoughts so I’m just going to put them in the order that they came. Apologies if this is a mess. (And under a cut because I can’t shut up lmao)

To me, the OG “cardigan” is the antithesis of the song as we now know it. That got me thinking about how the core of the album might have been much different too.

The album-making process started with “my tears ricochet.” (I believe this song is from Karlie’s point of view, per the notes in the dreamscape essay.) I’m assuming Taylor didn’t edit this song much. She has implied in the past that a song is “written” when it takes musical form (i.e. lyrics literally get put to a track). The idea of a dead lover is also extremely compelling. She made “cardigan,” “seven,” and “peace” next.

It’s likely that these four songs represent folklore’s original ideological pillars. The common thread of Aaron’s three songs (both versions of “cardigan”) is the idea of age or maturity. “peace” and “seven” are age-related endpoints and “cardigan” is a midway point. “my tears ricochet” happens to be an endpoint (i.e. dying, as opposed to reaching an adult maturity).

From these songs, I extrapolate that Taylor wanted to explore emotional growth specifically by addressing Peter Pan and Wendy’s philosophical disagreement. (Also…veer off into gay childhood trauma.) “peace” is about the strongest argument anyone could make in favor of Wendy—growing up is necessary, especially in order to love and treat someone properly. (This song even argues for mutual maturity/understanding.) “my tears ricochet” is the fallout if two people end up fighting with each other, not for each other. OG “cardigan” comes down on Peter’s side—if given the choice to preserve youth or yield to age, one should prefer the former. The album was to transform an endorsement of Peter into an endorsement of Wendy.

The three songs done with Aaron were likely written to appear in the order they do today: “cardigan” as exposition, then “seven,” then “peace.” Observe that to chart a course hitting all four songs, Taylor has to align OG “cardigan” with “my tears ricochet.” “seven” can stand on its own, provided she pads it with enough storytelling. “peace” and “my tears ricochet” cannot both be endpoints of the story, especially because they are at odds with each other. The mutual understanding in “peace” is not at all consistent with the hatred and sadness in “my tears ricochet.” Thus, the track list requires the partial ordering of OG “cardigan,” then “my tears ricochet,” then (much later) “peace.”

Let’s talk about OG “cardigan.” The first verse paints the potrait of Karlie. “Vintage tee, brand new phone // high heels on cobblestones // when you are young they assume you know nothing” alludes to the glamor of modeling, plus its stereotype as the profession of being young, dumb, and beautiful. “Livin’ in a gold age // sneakin’ to my bird cage” reintroduces the tension of reputation, youth and freedom at odds with oppressive forces. “Laughin’ like a damn fool // breakin’ every damn rule” contrasts the characterization of Karlie in the verse. She instead has a marvelous time being hot, smart, and moderately evil. Through this contrast, Taylor suggests that the power of youth is the freedom to choose to ignore very serious problems (pseudo-escapism?). The OG outro full of zingers is Taylor’s perspective as someone who gets burned by the freedom of choice. Young Karlie leaves young Taylor because the high of reputation-era antics wears off. Then, old Taylor, still affected by this loss, also loses her mind in a reverse-“Don’t Blame Me” kinda way.

Word choice, to me, suggests that “cardigan” was originally conceived not as the Breakup Song of the Cenozoic Era but a narrative partner of “illicit affairs.” Karlie and Taylor are on the same team in OG “cardigan.” They have a marvelous time being hot, smart, and moderately evil and breaking all the damn rules together. “You know damn well // for you I would ruin myself” gets spit back in Taylor’s face and is that much more impactful. 

Karlie is justified in leaving because the moment dies. This phrase describes a relationship that mutually and/or slowly dwindles. Karlie makes a decision to leave and save herself, and indeed makes the better choice because she retains her wild and her sanity. Hence, Peter wins the argument.

It’s unclear when “exile” was written, but I think it was early on in the process because Taylor added bird noises to it. “exile” plus OG “cardigan”/“illicit affairs” illustrates two joint affairs, such as double bearding. Pronoun issues with the second verse of “cardigan” aside, Karlie’s eventual downfall (i.e. the emotional end of “illicit affairs”) is implied to be a result of Taylor…also cheating? Maybe it’s the whole Friends “we were on a break” thing. (IDK, I’ve never actually seen Friends.)

OG “cardigan,” “illicit affairs,” and “exile” were once closely affiliated. More pertinently, by the partial ordering, “illicit affairs” and “exile” were meant to explain how OG “cardigan” connects to “my tears ricochet.” Karlie leaves Taylor during their illicit affair; the affair ruins Karlie; Karlie dies and Taylor shows up at the funeral because she’s pissed; Karlie becomes a vengeful ghost and Taylor is also emotionally ruined forever. Scene.

But these are not the connections that Taylor put out into the world. Obviously we can never know precisely why. One thing that does stick out to me, though, is how hard it is to turn around and align with Wendy given the illicit affair narrative.

In “peace,” Taylor shows her own maturity by acknowledging that she was cowardly and dishonorable. For what? Karlie left her in OG “cardigan,” not the other way around. Taylor runs away with someone else in “exile” (“him”), ostensibly to enjoy a more stable relationship. Her playing the role of the angry funeralgoer in “my tears ricochet” is perfectly reasonable. Taylor was promised love and Karlie didn’t give her what she needed, so she moved on. Therefore, we should conclude that maturity is really…hanging onto someone who doesn’t stay? Having the courage to stay in an incredibly tenuous affair? Apparently, one also must be cheated on in order to mature. These are all strange conclusions.

Taylor illustrates Karlie’s maturity with a monologue of numerous promises—of pretty much everything except peace itself. The illicit affair narrative does strongly support the argument that maturity is learning how to stay true to one’s word. Yet its logical beginning is that one must cheat on another—plus be unfaithful to the person they are cheating with—in order to mature. (Karlie gets burned by the freedom of choice only when she later faces the consequences of the affair.) Also strange.

The illicit affair narrative as a primary emotional catalyst of the album generates even bigger inconsistencies.

“august” both humanizes the person cheated with and leaves them worse off than the cheater. “my tears ricochet” emphasizes the opposite: the one cheated with stays alive and becomes a very ugly person, but the cheater dies.

Arguably, both people should have anticipated the fallout of the (implied to be years-long) affair. “my tears ricochet” is internally inconsistent. “I didn’t have it in myself to go with grace” suggests Karlie died an unfortunate or unforeseen death, not an inevitable one. “You turned into your worst fears” suggests Taylor turned around and became a cheater too.

“invisible string” can support the argument that Taylor and Karlie were always bound to get back together after a breakup. Morally dubious underwriting of the initial affair notwithstanding, this song contradicts “mad woman.” Taylor wrote “mad woman” song shortly after “peace;” in it, she is staunchly against cheating. (She avoids morally dubious underwriting of illicit activity on the album by axing the OG “cardigan”/“illicit affairs”/“exile” narrative, then condemning cheating and seducing in “mad woman” and “illicit affairs,” respectively.)

Again, it is impossible to know when, why, or even exactly how the narrative of the album changed as Taylor was writing it. The dramatization I’ve provided of inconsistencies piling up is only one plausible explanation—and a convoluted one at that—for a change of artistic heart. Whatever the reason, I think it is significant that Taylor performed a volte face to never argue in favor of Peter in the first place.

The album version of “cardigan,” and indeed the entire love triangle, supports Wendy’s side of the argument. “cardigan” shows that James and Betty’s relationship was vibrant, joyous, thrilling, and tender, but above all, perfect. The tone of the song helps Taylor denounce James’ choice to leave Betty as cruel and unnecessary. It is James’ fault for leaving once the “thrill expired,” not Betty’s fault for believing James would stay after the honeymoon phase. “betty” reinforces James’ characterization as the ignorant fool too. Because the album necessarily pigeonholes the leaver in the role of the coward, Wendy wins the argument on the grounds of moral fiber.

(James technically ‘wins’ in “august” because the titular character is left devastated and alone. August embodies youth through hope and yearning. James’ lack of conviction kills that hope. Thus, youthful traits are always collateral damage of the entire maturing process. And, the narrative that pits the characters against each other ends with James, regarded as the paradigm youth, losing the most.)

Perhaps this is the best justification for the existence of the teenage love triangle. Introducing characters who are maturing in various ways still allows Taylor to explore emotional growth. Three separate but fixed perspectives act as a proxy for one person’s changing perspective. By aligning herself with each character at a different time in their life, she shows that maturity (e.g. realism, reliability, patience, etc.) always gives one the upper hand.

The love triangle’s main purpose is to illustrate the philosophy that permeates the rest of the album. folklore as we know it is Taylor’s memorial to all the things lost to youth. Maturity would have prevented so many losses. At the same time, it is impossible to mature without first being youthful, making mistakes, and feeling lost while doing so. This is Taylor’s singular but melancholic endorsement of Wendy. How sad, valuable, and necessary, she says of growing up.

Lest my point be misinterpreted as ‘we can confidently reverse-engineer Taylor’s artistic process,’ here are my main takeaways from the “cardigan” changes:

OG “cardigan” is sad and we should appreciate it as such. “I knew to love would be to lose my mind?” Please.

“cardigan,” as a midway point with respect to age, is the only ideologically ‘variable’ song of the original quartet. Furthermore, by placement and construction, “cardigan” is/was intended to be expository. Changing “cardigan” changes the course she charts through the album. Taking sadness out of one song and spreading it over a storytelling album really changes the meaning of that sadness.

Of the eponymous characters, it’s worth noting that Taylor is James, the leaver, whereas she is left in the OG “cardigan.” It’s utterly fascinating that Taylor chooses to embody ‘hanging on to youth’ angle. What we assume is a very deep, primal feeling is one she overemphasizes for narrative purposes. Consequently, dismissing the love triangle as (fix-it) fiction requires dismissing Taylor’s attachment to youth—being Peter. To that end, we might also need to dismiss the infamous “I never grew up, it’s getting so old” line from “The Archer.” Many others, too…

Red herring though it may be, the love triangle alters folklore’s underlying philosophy, hence the very essence of its melancholy. It seems rather unwise to ignore the love triangle or to reduce it to a cheesy storytelling device. Recognizing that Taylor endorses Wendy and only Wendy is, in my opinion, crucial for clarifying other nebulous ideas in folklore. (I know I sound like a broken record, but I really do think abstraction in the music requires abstraction in analysis. It’s really easy to fall into the habit of tying specific lyrics to people or events. Personally, I find richer and deeper connections by actively working against that habit. I’m not saying this is the only way to do analysis—on the contrary, I think all analysis is correct because it’s all subjective. Rather, I think people overlook the value of occasional abstraction, much to my distress. folklore analysis even seems to demand abstraction. Sue me for believing that things like the underlying philosophy of an album are important, I guess?)

Would you believe that there’s more to this change than what I’ve argued? I’m weary that this is answer is already not what you wanted, so I won’t bang on and quadruple its length. In conclusion: the Implications.

#kaylor #folklore analysis #anonymous #qs

[rubyredsundae]

Mass Effect Trilogy Tag!

I was not tagged by anyone, I just really wanted to join in. If you see this and want to as well, please do! I've been loving reading through everyone's :)

I am a fan since… 2011ish? Definitely at least a year before ME3 came out. I remember watching my brother play ME2 and thinking it was so cool. While he was away it was a huge comfort for me to play it in his room, kind of like a bonding or cathartic experience for someone who wasn't there at the time.

When ME3 came out, me and him went to the midnight release at a gamestop like 40 minutes away or something, wearing clothes we threw together to kind of fit the N7 color scheme. Even though we don't talk anymore, those memories are still really precious to me. Also, the nostalgia of playing ME1 after-school or on the weekend, running to get my easy mac from the microwave during a cutscene, stuffing too hot mouthfuls while speeding the Mako towards the conduit on Ilos.

Favorite game of the series: It's a tough call between ME1 and ME2, but I'd say ME2. It's the game I get the urge to replay the most.

MaleShep or FemShep? Femshep all the way. I only play MShep when I want to do his exclusive romances. No offense to BroShep, but ME was the first game I ever played that let me not just be a girl, but customizable. Not just to be the already generated token girl character in a pack of boys. And not only can you play Femshep, but every game you are surrounded by smart, funny, tough women as squadmates. It was such a huge deal to me, and still is. Femshep represents so much. As Jennifer Hale put it, FemShep was a military grade boot to the video game industry glass ceiling.

Earthborn, Colonist or Spacer? I personally tend to lean spacer in-game, but I tend to use Earthborn when I'm writing fics.

Paragon or Renegade? Usually Paragon, but Renegade playthroughs can be really interesting, especially if I have a detailed background about why Shep is the way they are. My first Renegade, Krystle, is pretty bigoted and anti-alien until she meets Liara. Krystle is naturally guarded and quick to anger, so meeting someone who seemed to accept her and listen to her without judgment really opens her mind.

By the 2nd game, she wakes up in the cerberus lab with new biotic powers, having previously been a regular foot soldier. This makes her seeth, having someone completely take her agency, agreeing with the illusive man on the surface but plotting against him the entire time. She starts to lean more Paragon, if only to piss him off. She has the biggest smirk on her face when she blows up the collector base.

Biotics or Tech? Oooh, this is hard. Maybe biotics just the tiniest smidge because of Jack/Samara biotic bubble throw during the suicide mission. I don't know if we'll ever get a screen adaptation but THAT is a moment I would pay to see done with a big SFX budget behind it.

Favorite class: Sentinel! I don't know how much this reflects on my class preference in gaming in general, but I love the 'jack of all trades'ness of it. By the time I get an assault rifle, I don't really feel the need for anyone else to make up for something I lack. Also, tech armor in ME2? Where your shields regenerate automatically when it breaks, and the cool down is when you initially active it, instead of when you detonate it? Chef's kiss. I understand why it was nerfed in 3 but I'm still mad.

Favorite companion: Ho boy. This is obviously very difficult to choose but I'm gonna say Miranda. I've always loved and identified with her character, I love the accent, and she's always useful on missions. I was so happy when I learned she could be a squadmate in the armax arena.

Honorable mention to Ashley in ME1. Her character is rarely used to exposition lore, so she just gets to have her personality fleshed out. I don't always agree with her but she does seem genuinely willing to listen. ME3 tosses her out the airlock though; partially because her content was bugged and never restored, leaving her inclusion feel half-baked, and partly because Ash and Kaidan have to be able to serve the same plot function as each other and it negatively affects her character more than his. This could also be intentional on bioware's part, to try to flesh out kaidan's personality and tone down Ashley's as a response to criticisms of them from ME1.

Least favorite companion: Also difficult, because I don't really hate anyone as much as I am just less interested in some. I didn't like Zaeed for a long time, but I think he's much better and really funny in ME3. James was pushed on me too much at the beginning and it made me really dislike him, but I think he's greatly improved and also pretty funny in Citadel DLC. I'm also pretty indifferent to Jacob; I don't think he's a bad character, just disappointing because there was a lot of potential.

Not that every character has to go on and do some grand quest to be interesting, but I don't feel like Jacob every really got a big hero moment like everyone else. He is a very calm and introverted person (imo) who doesn't really share his feelings, so it's always been hard for to to connect with him on anything.

My squad selection: Depends on the game, but it usually involves Garrus lol. Typically it's Liara/Garrus in ME1, Miranda/Garrus for ME2, and Liara/Garrus again in ME3. I am very boring and predictable! If you have any suggestions for me to try out and mix things up, let me know!

Favorite in-game romance: Also depends on the game. ME1 it's Liara, hands down. It was the first game, really the first piece of media, where I was told two women could fall in love and be happy and that was okay. The amount of enlightenment and comfort in figuring out that I was bi these games brought me is kind of wild to look back on.

ME2 is a toss-up between Garrus and Thane. They are both wonderful but in completely different ways. I tend to now romance Thane on characters I don't plan on importing to ME3, or if I do, to just have a really depressed fucking Shepard lol. I hate how much Thane was brushed off, especially if you romanced him.

Other pairings I like: l love Miranda so much, but I'm a gay girl so I ship her and Femshep. Same goes for Tali, Jack, Ashley... damn I'm just really gay for straight girls huh :/

I don't really have any other ships for non-Shep related pairings.

Favorite NPC: Shiala is really cool to me, I wish we got to see her in 3. Emily Wong is also cool, also wish we saw her in 3. There's probably a lot more that when I come across them next I'll be like, "you! I love you! You're my favorite."

Oh also Joker! And EDI! But not together. Idk I feel like ME3 threw a curveball at me with "do you support organic/non-organic relationships?" Like m'am please don't ask me, I accidentally drank turian liquor last year, I'm not qualified to be an expert on this.

Favorite antagonist: Tbh I really dig Saren. I think his reasoning is super fascinating, both to set up how someone who's indoctrinated can rationalize to themselves that they are still in control; and as a foil to Shepard, to show what can happen when you become too isolated and the ends justify the means. I think his VA does a great job of walking the line between desperate survivor and madman. He's also the only antagonist in the trilogy that we ever fight 1 on 1 (ignoring squadmates) and it feels more personal. I think he's such a fantastic foe for the first entry in a trilogy and I don't think he gets enough credit.

Favorite mission: Is it cliche to say the suicide mission? It's honestly close to perfect. The stakes, the sequencing, the cinematics, the score. Everything works so well.

Favorite loyalty mission: Kasumi's and Tali's are really cool, as we all know. Samara's is also cool because it is entirely non-combat based. Shepard has to prove they can accomplish what seems impossible without a gun or biotics.

The confrontation at the end with Morinth always haunts me a little, because they are both right in their own way. Morinth's final line, "and they say I'm the monster", as you let Samara kill her, watch her scrambling backwards in fear... I know that she's a remorseless killer, but it gets me every time.

Favorite DLC: It's Citadel, obviously. Turns out what I really wanted was quality time and a party with all my friends. I love mass effect for many reasons, but simulating friends and affection when I had none has always made me bond to this series like other games don't. Is it sad? Sure! But I don't think love and affection for fictional characters should ever be shameful until it makes you hurt other people.

Control, Synthesis or Destroy? I'd say destroy. If the other options were presented earlier and we had time to stew with it, maybe I'd be more split. But all of this in 5 minutes? It's not like the collector base where the implications are obvious and the choice is just down to what Shepard believes. The 3 choices all seem like space magic out of nowhere, and none of them seem to really offer any insight on what Shepard should believe. So I say destroy, just because it's what Shep has intended and is most consistent with their character and their admiration of Anderson.

Favorite weapon: The spectre level assault rifle in ME1. Never have I felt more powerful.

Favorite place: Idk why but I just thought of the creepy lab with all the scientists during the leviathan DLC. I really love when Mass Effect leans into the Lovecraftian horror aspect of things. Talking to Sovereign and Vigil in ME1 gave me goosebumps my first few playthroughs.

A quote I like: I have hundreds, but the one off the top of my head is, "After time adrift among open stars, along tides of light and through shoals of dust, I will return to where I began." I have a poster of it up on my wall right now!

#mass effect #mass effect trilogy #mass effect trilogy tag

[penzyroamin]

Hi I know it’s been a bit but I’m the confused bi anon. I really really appreciated your response and it wasn’t too long. You made me feel a lot better. I was wondering if you could maybe suggest some books, tv, movies with bi female characters. Thanks soo much for the entire last response . You are absolutely incredible and so sweet. This means more to me than you could ever know❤️

of course!! i’m glad that my first response helped <3

disclaimer of course: i’m not bi! so i’m not an Authoritative Source on bi rep and what people want to see more of. i do actively seek out stuff about lgbtq+ characters, specifically girls and women, so i have some recs! however, i’ll also be adding some things that some bi folks i know have recommended because while lesbians and bi women have a lot in common, these are at the end of the day representing them, not me :)

extra-super favorites will be bolded! i’m putting this under a read more because... i read a lot of books. and recommended a lot of them.

books:

her royal highness by rachel hawkins-- this book is a pretty easy read-- don’t expect any massive revelations about life from it, and you’ll have a good time!!! essentially, a bi texan girl named millie, after having her heart broken by her friend-turned-sort-of-gf, goes to boarding school in scotland and ends up rooming with the princess, flora. if this sounds outrageous and sappy, that’s because it is! and i love it! sexuality isn’t a BIG part of this book, but it’s discussed, and it’s just a generally fun enemies-to-lovers story about a bi aspiring geologist and a no-fucks-to-give lesbian princess and them falling in love!

fried green tomatoes at the whistle stop cafe by fannie flagg-- hello this is actually my favorite book! unlike hrh it is... a LOT to read. it essentially follows 2 stories-- one about a housewife named evelyn and her friendship with an old woman named ninny threadgoode who she meets at the old folks home her mother-in-law stays at, and the other about the stories ninny tells her about her sister-in-law idgie and her partner, ruth. the book was published in 1987, and ruth and idgie’s story is set during the great depression, so they aren’t actively labeled as lesbian or bi, but it’s made obvious enough through coding and the fact that ruth has relationships with men prior to idgie while idgie spends her entire childhood pining after ruth. both storylines are fantastic-- they have a lot to say about the lives of southern women in the 30s and 80s, and about race relations at both periods. i’ll warn you that there are depictions of extreme racism and of abuse, but it handles both delicately. it’s a critical piece of southern literature, and a landmark for lgbtq+ storytelling. as a bonus, my copy has a bunch of great recipes in the back, so if you read it you might chance upon an edition with those in it. if you like poignant period pieces about wlw relationships, women losing their damn minds, and abusive men getting what they deserve, this is the book for you! you will sob. this is a fair warning.

you should see me in a crown by leah johnson-- i haven’t personally read this one, but i’ve heard great things about it from everyone i know who has! an anxious black bi girl in indiana has to win prom queen at her mostly-white school in order to get enough scholarship money to go to the college of her dreams, but ends up falling for mack, another girl running for queen. 

@landlessbud wanted me to shout out red, white, and royal blue by casey mcquinston-- you’ve almost definitely heard about it before (first son and prince of wales, enemies-to-lovers with a side dish of political drama), and it is primarily about a mlm romance, but nora is a fabulously fun bi girl side character and there’s a lot of great stuff about figuring out your sexuality in it.

leah on the offbeat by becky albertalli-- i’ve read a lot of complex thoughts on this book, and mine are... i like it! it’s flawed, sure, and i wish it had handled a few things a little better, but you know what? it’s cute as fuck! leah is a fat bi drummer, and she’s super cool! abby is a great love interest, and she goes through a whole bi realization throughout the book. all in all, it’s just a fun wlw high school romcom with a couple solid dramatic beats and a lot of goofball shenanigans. also, if you were an american girl kid??? one scene in this book will make the entire experience worth it for you.

harley quinn: breaking glass by mariko tamaki and steve pugh-- hey, we’re in graphic novel territory now! this book is RAD. a really neat look at gentrification, community solidarity, giving people what they deserve, and fantastic lgbtq+ found families. teenage harleen quinzel is taken in by a group of drag queens, and is caught between two sort-of love interests-- mysterious vigilante the joker and classmate and community activist ivy-- and the different forms of protest and resistance they represent. the art here is STUNNING, and it’s a great read!

laura dean keeps breaking up with me, by the great mariko tamaki with art by rosemary valero-o’connell-- the vast majority of the characters are lgbt, with a lesbian main character, and the supporting cast including a bi nonbinary character, a bi girl character, and two mlm characters! this is mostly a piece about modern lgbtq+ teenagers and the way toxic relationships take over our lives. it’s one of the most cathartic things i’ve read in a LONG time, and especially if you’re at a point where your sexuality feels kind of vague, this is a great read because it embraces that vagueness by not needing to clearly label the characters and celebrates whatever point of clarity the characters are at. probably some of the most gorgeous art i’ve ever seen in a book, with a beautiful black-white-and-pink color scheme and a really neat approach to visual storytelling.

movies:

i don’t watch many movies, because i get bored really quickly hskdhskhds. but the movies i DO watch are usually gay!

wowie zowie its fried green tomatoes again!-- fannie flagg came back to adapt this into a film and HOT DAMN is it just as good. the plot is primarily the same, with some stuff obviously cut or trimmed to make it a two hour movie instead of a 450 page books fhsjdhsjhds. mary-louise parker plays ruth!!! it got a GLAAD award and an oscar nomination, and god it’s good. there are a couple scenes in here that i think are going to be in my mind until the day i die. the level of pure butch energy that idgie radiates in this film is a one-hit k.o. and it KILLS me.

birds of prey-- listen. this is not a profound movie. harley’s bisexuality isn’t emphasized, and romance is basically nonexistent in this movie. there is some... quite graphic violence. that said, this movie is so fucking fun. it’s mostly just a bunch of women fucking up everyone who crosses them while margot robbie gives a gleeful performance that you can just TELL she enjoyed the fuck out of. the last 20-30 minutes of this movie are the absolute best part, with a long sequence that kind of reinvented what an action/superhero movie could be for me. again, bisexuality isn’t a massive part of this-- it’s mentioned, and then harley just continues on in her gloriously campy outfits and breaks peoples’ knees. again, i CANNOT overemphasize just how fucking good the last 20-30 minutes are. this movie knows what it is and it embraces it. also, women beating people up in costumes that don’t horrifyingly objectify them is always a plus!

imagine me & you-- i’d be remiss if i didn’t mention this one, considering it’s probably one of the most iconic wlw romcoms. a woman named rachel, while at her own wedding, meets a florist named luce, and they fall in love. it’s a very sweet look at questioning your sexuality when you were already secure in it, and rachel’s husband wins “most genuinely understanding guy in a wlw movie” award. it has a lovely happy ending, and articles have been written about the importance of rachel being a bi character who a) gets a happy ending and b) isn’t shamed for figuring out her sexuality later on or slutshamed. this is just... a sweet movie. it’s the romcom a lot of us need in our lives. also, a LOT of floral imagery.

tv shows:

ok, i’ve got a confession. i reaaaaaaally don’t watch much tv. seriously, the only shows i’ve watched a substantial amount of recently have been parks and rec, schitt’s creek, the good place, and gilmore girls. i have a really REALLY short attention span.

that said, eleanor from the good place is bisexual!! the good place is a really wild ride, it’s half afterlife comedy half philosophical musing, and it will almost certainly make you gasp, laugh, think, and also probably cry. also, eleanor is just buckets of fun and she, like many of us, is often blown away by tahani (jameela jamil) and her beauty.

ummm shows i haven’t watched entirely or at all but that have bi women in them and seem pretty good: black lightning, sex education, jane the virgin, arrow. 

if you haven’t already watched it, do not believe what people are going to tell you about watching glee. it will drag you into a pit of despair and white men rapping, and it’s quite biphobic to top it all off.

i hope you enjoy at least some of these!! i tried to include some of my own favs and some that were pointed out to me, so i hope that at least a couple connect with you and make you feel better. again, the bolded ones are my 100% favorites. i love you and i’m glad you reached out again!!! feel free to send some more asks later on <3

#asks #anon #bi anon #ily <3 <3 i hope these help #if anyone wants to add please do!! specifically bi women of color since theres a shortage of them in fiction and media #dont talk abt b/9/9 though id like to not praise diversity in a show glorifying cops

[tlbodine]

A Plea for Some Non-Cringe Native American Representation

There’s something that has bothered me for a real long time, and I haven’t said anything because it didn’t really feel like my place to say it. But if pasty white folks across the country will insist on continuing to make these books and comics and movies, then I guess this pasty white girl can make a plea to do it better. 

So. Here’s the deal. Native American representation in fiction sucks. 

We’re going to talk about why, and then talk about some ways you can do it better. And it’s going to take a while, so join me under the cut. 

PROBLEM #1: Erasure 

The first problem with First Nations people being represented in fiction is that it, uh...doesn’t happen very often. It’s pretty rare for a show or movie or book to have a Native character, and even rarer for that character to exist without being a vehicle/mouthpiece for some kind of hamfisted message. 

And, of course, Native characters who do show up in movies are sometimes played by non-Native actors, which is just. Um. 

somebody fucking kill me I don’t want to live on this planet anymore. 

PROBLEM #2: The Same Stock Character Over and Over and Over 

There’s this weird thing where TV shows have A Very Special Native American Episode(tm) where a Native American character shows up in a storyline designed to, idk, provide a tidy outlet for the viewer’s white guilt or something. I see this a lot in superhero stories for...some reason: 

Batman and Chief Screaming Eagle (ok, it was the 1960s, surely things have gotten better right? oh...) who’s butting heads with a villain over a bad contract for, uh, the chief’s ancestral lands

There was the Buffy episode “Pangs” where a Chumash vengeance spirit is the villain-of-the day after being disturbed by some construction (and this is honestly one of the better treatments of the premise, at least the episode is well-written) 

There was the Smallville episode with Kyla Willowbrook, the Kawatche Skinwalker (I know, I know) who for bonus points dies tragically in Clark’s arms (I KNOW) and who was deeply concerned with...with some construction...disturbing her sacred homesite...(this is starting to sound familiar)

And then there was The Flash episode where Barry is forced to fight with the complicated-yet-tragically-evil Native American activist woman whose crimes involve stealing cultural artifacts that belong to to the museum (yes I’m screaming) and also murdering people...y’know, for vengeance and stuff. 

I could keep going but I really don’t think I have to. When your only representation of a culture is a character (frequently a smoking-hot member of the opposite sex to the hero) who is an ambiguous villain who is motivated by vengeance and/or justice over having their land/cultural artifacts disturbed, and who has a valid claim but is really going about it in the wrong way and whose tragic death and/or defeat really gives the white character something complex to think about for two seconds.... well. That’s more than a little racist. 

PROBLEM #3: These Are Not Your Stories to Tell 

You know what white people love doing? 

They love appropriating Native culture! Seriously! They love it! And who can blame them, really? Native people have so much rich symbolism and mythology and cool clothes and neat aesthetics. Painted war ponies and buckskin dresses and shapeshifters and monsters, oh my! Indian burial grounds and vengeful spirits (oh for fuck sake enough with the vengeful Indian trope)

But here’s the deal: 

The mythology you’re borrowing from belongs to a group of people who are still alive and sometimes practicing the religion you’re liberally reinterpreting 

There is no such thing as a “Native American” myth. You’re talking about literally hundreds of different tribes who are culturally distinct from one another and have their own complex histories of interaction, diplomacy, war, friendship, etc. with one another for centuries before white folk got here. You erase all of that when you treat Native culture as a grab-bag of cool things you can mix and match to your liking. 

Maybe, just a thought, stop it with the oppression narratives about activists and/or vengeful spirits who are real threatened by white people disturbing their homes? It’s not that there isn’t a lot to unpack in that -- I mean, white people really did conduct mass genocide against a race of people, for starters -- it’s just that this isn’t really your oppression narrative to tell. 

It seems to me that folks writing about Native Americans don’t actually have any idea what Native people are like? They either think of them as anachronistic figures, an extinct and ancient group, or they think of them as people really hung up on their cultural past. Because maybe people can’t think of anything to do with a Native character other than use it as a vocal mouthpiece of one very specific part of their cultural oppression.

But please. Please stop. That is every bit as stupid and racist as making a Black character who only talks about slavery, or a Jewish character who only talks about the Holocaust, or giving all of your gay characters AIDS. 

So what do you do instead? 

Writing Native Characters in a Way That Does Not Suck - A Quick Primer 

I can’t write a definitive guide on writing good Native representation, because there is no such guide, and if there were it would take a whole book probably, and I am not in any way even remotely an authority. 

But I can give you some pointers that will help you. 

(And to be honest, Native representation is so awful that the bar here is really super low, even just attempting a tiny bit is a really welcome breath of fresh air)

Choose a Tribe 

Step one: Figure out what kind of Native people you’re writing about. 

Because, as previously noted, Native People Are Not A Monoculture. 

How do you pick a tribe? Well, start with geography. Where do you want the story to take place? Obviously people move around, so you can find folks outside of their ancestral lands, but they all started someplace, and a lot of people live where their parents and grandparents and cousins all live. 

So where does your story take place? Pick a spot. Then find out what tribes live in that region. It’s not a secret. There are maps:

(Source: http://www.emersonkent.com/map_archive/native_american_tribes_map.htm) 

Or maybe you want to go about this in a different way. Maybe you have a specific story idea in mind and you want to write it in a way that would be accurate and respectful. Cool! A good first step on that is to figure out what tribe actually does the thing you’re wanting to write about. 

Skinwalkers, for example, originate in the Navajo Nation (Dine` people), although there are related myths from surrounding tribes in the area. 

If you’re writing a story about Wendigo, then you should know those myths originate with the Algonquin people of Quebec and Ontario.

If you’re writing something with spiritually significant buffalo, you should probably choose a culture that actually interacted with buffalo -- ie, a Plains Indian tribe like the Lakota-Sioux people. 

And so on and so forth. 

(Note that this is only the first step. You still have to do a lot of research after this to be sure you’re doing everything properly and respectfully. And, y’know, maybe reconsider if you actually want to tell a story respecting that mythology, or if you just want to sound cool and exotic) 

Also, personal preference: Please don’t make your characters Cherokee if you’re just going for “character with Native ancestry.” Please choose a different tribe. For a lot of complicated (and sometimes surprisingly racist) reasons, white people have been claiming Cherokee heritage for a long time, and even when it’s true, it feels cheap and cringey in fiction. If you want to tell a story about the Trail of Tears or something set in Tahlequa, Oklahoma, great! Write Cherokee characters! But if you just want a Native American character for other reasons...pick a different tribe. 

Choose a Name 

Fun fact: Modern Native people that you meet out on the street don’t have names like “Stands With Fists” or “Running Bear.”  

If you have an impulse to name your character any kind of descriptive “adjective + animal” name...just don’t. Please. And don’t go to BehindTheName or some other random site to pick out something that “sounds” Native. 

Names in other cultures are tricky. Some (but not all!) Native people may have a cultural tradition of having multiple names, including naming ceremonies (often as a rite of passage in adolescence). Some tribes have clan names. Everybody’s different. But these special names are culturally sensitive, often sacred, and are not a thing readily accessible to white people. White folks spent centuries trying to wipe out Indigenous people’s belief systems; they deserve to have some things kept private and sacred. 

So what I’m getting at here is that white writers really, really should not touch on the “Indian naming ceremony” trope at all if they can help it, because it’s gonna be real hard to get the details right, and getting the details wrong is going to make you sound like an ignorant racist. And most of the time, it’s not really that important to a story. 

Most contemporary Native people have regular English names. They may also have tribal names and clan names (that they may or may not share with outsiders). But lots of tribal members don’t, and that doesn’t make them any less Native. 

My recommendation for naming your Native characters? Find real people from the time period, tribe, and region you’re writing in. Find a phone book or newspaper from a town on or near a reservation for your chosen tribe. Look at names of participants in powwows. Look at the sports rosters for Native schools. Look at historical records like census data from the year you’re writing about. Don’t just make things up. 

** One Note: You know how “black” names are a thing? You encounter a similar sort of thing in some contemporary Native Americans. I grew up with a lot of kids who had “weird” names like Kirby, Sheriden, Baskerville, Sterling and Precious. (and by “weird” I mean “names middle-class white people don’t tend to use”). There’s also a lot of black-sounding names in Native populations. There’s some complex reasons behind this, and a lot of sociology of naming, and I won’t spend too much time on it right now but just...so you know. It’s a thing. 

Write a Human Being 

This really is the biggest thing, and it’s true of every writing you do, all the time, no matter what: Write a real person and not a caricature. 

Native people are people first. Their cultural heritage affects them the way anyone else’s culture does. The things they eat, wear, do, believe, the stories they know, etc. are all affected. But Native people don’t have a responsibility to be walking representatives of their tribes. And they definitely shouldn’t be a vessel for white guilt. 

(Fun fact: “Iron Eyes Cody,” maybe best known for the “Crying Indian” role in a commercial about pollution, was an Italian-American born  Espera Oscar de Corti) 

Here’s a really, really good article I found while working on this rant that might be of interest to you as wellas you set out on this quest:  https://mashable.com/2015/03/24/american-indians-tv/

I still have so much to say on this topic, and maybe I’ll write more in the future, but this is already very long so I’ll stop. I hope this has been at least a little bit helpful for y’all. Go forth and write non-terrible characters, I beg of you. 

*Disclaimer: I am not a Native person and do not claim any special knowledge or ownership of Native culture, and I beg you to please listen to Native voices when possible in your creative endeavors. I’m just a gal who happened to have spent most of my life living near reservations and growing up around Native people and having Native friends and being taught about historical cultures by my mother who has a degree in Southwest Studies and has done a lot of formal and informal research due to her own interests in the topic. 

If you found this article helpful at all, please consider dropping a tip in my tip jar.

I also have a book coming out! You can pre-order it now! It features a main character of mixed heritage, New Mexico reservation border towns, and zombies trying to get by like everybody else. 

Pre-Order now on B&N: https://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/river-of-souls-t-l-bodine/1131956124

Or on Amazon: https://www.amazon.com/River-Souls-T-L-Bodine/dp/1950305015

Or from the publisher: http://journalstone.com/bookstore/river-of-souls/?fbclid=IwAR14Qna5tMgWBV0We2uGSLreBkmyvZ5SoDAzPQpTKeFn4JR4PWSyKGl0VEo

Or add it to your Goodreads library: https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/46183381-river-of-souls

#how to write #writing advice #native americans #cultural appropriation #representation #long post #but please do read it #I worked on this all day

[serendipitous-magic]

Question Game - AKA Oversharing Hour

I was tagged by @the-angry-pixie​! And I’m a chronic oversharer, so this was fun. I’ll put most of it under a read more line because there’s a LOT.

1. Do you prefer writing with a black pen or blue pen? 

Black. Dunno why.

2. Would you prefer to live in the country or city? 

City city city city city city city city. I’m already going fucking batshit as it is, trapped in suburbia. I want to be able to actually do things, anything. Anything other than just being around the house and / or work. (And I felt like this before the pandemic started.) If you live in the city you can walk out your door and be somewhere else within like 5 minutes. A city park, a cafe, a train/subway, a local attraction, a museum, an artist’s booth, an outdoor market, etc. etc. 

Living in suburbia is like, well, to go literally anywhere you have to get into your car first and drive like 10 minutes minimum to get out of the neighborhood, and then if you want to go anywhere that’s not the grocery store you have to drive 20 minutes to get to another area of town, and then once you get there that’s the only place you can be without getting into your car again and getting a nice shot of anxiety from having to drive in traffic and have aggressive drivers roar up on your ass because you’re going 5mph above the speed limit and they want to be going 15mph above, and god help you if you have to merge, and oh by the way this is your only option to get around because public transit doesn’t really exist in any useful way in Big Suburbia, and nothing in within walking distance of your house except like 2 playgrounds and maybe one (1) gas station. (I hate it here lmao)

If I was trapped in the country I’d probably be chill with it for about a week, and enjoy the break, and the on day 8 I’d snap and go on a murdering spree out of stir-craziness.

3. If you could learn a new skill what would it be? 

I want to learn German and eventually be fluent in it. But since I’ve already started trying to learn and I don’t know if that counts, I’ll say cinematography. As in the actual working of the camera and lighting and all that. I can dream up some pretty striking images but actually getting the camera to do the settings needed to capture them is another story entirely.

4. Do you drink your tea/coffee with sugar? 

Nope. I drink coffee and tea both, and I don’t put any kind of sweetener in either of them. I used to put a shitton of sugar in my coffee and honey in my tea, and then I had some mild eating disorder struggles in college and I never got back in the habit of putting stuff in my hot drinks after that. It just tastes wrong now, after being used to plain black coffee.

5. What was your favourite book as a child? 

Either the Harry Potter series or The Hobbit. My grandma would take care of me a lot when I was really little because my parents both worked full time to support us, and every single time I was at her house she’d sit us down at the dining room table and read something to me. Not Junie B. Jones or anything, either, but real, big, thick books. I loved the shit out of Harry Potter and The Hobbit; I would request them repeatedly. We pretty much went back and forth; we’d read Harry Potter, and then The Hobbit, and then when a new Harry Potter book came out we’d read that, and then The Hobbit again, and so on and so forth.

6. Do you prefer baths or showers? 

Showers. I love baths, they’re magical, but ain’t nobody got time for that unless it’s a special occasion. I got too much shit to do to spend an hour lying in the bathtub.

7. If you could be a mythical creature, which one would it be? 

Vampire. Purely on the basis that if I was immortal maybe I’d finally have time to get my to-do list done and accomplish things. I’d miss the sunlight though.

8. Paper or electronic books? 

Paper. Here’s the thing, I really want to enjoy ebooks, but they just don’t hold my attention at all. Maybe I’m too conditioned by the internet to have a short attention span when I’m looking at a screen, idk.

9. What is your favourite item of clothing? 

I have a dark gray hoodie from the Seattle Aquarium from when I went on a road trip across America with my BFF a few years ago. It’s still my absolute favorite thing. I also enjoy my hiking boots a lot. (I wear them all the time, really they should just be called “everyday boots” haha)

10. Do you like your name or would you like to change it?

I like my name and I would also like to start going by something different. Probably just because I’m a restless soul and I feel the best (and least trapped) when I’m on the move or when things are changing. The second I get somewhere I want to be somewhere else. That’s just how I am. Gwen is a cool name (I’ve personally met maybe 3 people in my whole life with the same name, face-to-face), but there’s a lot attached to that nickname that I don’t necessarily want to carry with me when I eventually escape my hometown and start down a new path.

11. Who is a mentor to you? 

A friend and former professor whom I usually refer to online as Producer Man. He’s a producer (as you may have guessed) who kind of took me under his wing after I was in one of his film classes in college. We work together on film projects now and he’s teaching me bit-by-bit (usually by way of long, rambling, tangential stories / lectures) about the industry. He’s a really good guy. Like, he for sure has a case of Old White Guy sometimes, but his heart is absolutely in the right place. “He’s a little confused, but he’s got the spirit.” He’s always leaving $10 tips at coffee places and working himself to the bone to get his students connected to jobs and internships that will help them with their careers. 

12. Would you like to be famous and if so, what for? 

Yes, my stories. Actually, “famous” is not the right word. It’s just that fame is so tightly associated with success in our society. I want to be successful. Whether I’m widely known or not is pretty inconsequential to me. I want to make stories and I want them to have an impact. Books, film, etc. It’s about as simple as that.

13. Are you a restless sleeper? 

Oh yeah. I have trouble  sleeping as much as I should because I usually kind of jerk awake in the morning with this vague feeling that I forgot something or that I’m late for something. Also I stay up later than I should because I’m a night owl, and yet I like being up early because early mornings are great. And usually if I dream at all it’s something kind of stressful, like I dream that I forgot something important or did something wrong. I’m a Stressed Bean. 

14. Do you consider yourself a romantic person? 

I think so, yeah. I’m pretty obsessed with the idea of romance (I mean look at my OTPs), but heteronormativity got me fucked up enough that I’m bad at actually navigating real romantic feelings or relationships because society never prepared me for The Gay.

15. Which element best represents you? 

Fire, probably.

16. Who do you want to be closer to? 

My mom. We fight a lot and there tends to be a lot of tension between us. It’s a long complicated story. It boils down to, she really hurt me when I came out as not-straight at 15 and she lost all of my trust and even though she’s working on being less homophobic we’re still kind of trying to repair that divide seven years later.

17. Do you miss someone at the moment? 

Dude, I miss everyone. I’m an introvert and I’d love to be at a big party right now. I miss socialization. (As does everyone.) 

18. Tell us about an early childhood memory. 

The first time I experienced deja vu, I was about eehhh 6? And I legitimately believed, for several years of my life, that I had future-predicting abilities. Like, supernatural-level future-predicting abilities. Because I didn’t really know what deja vu was, so I thought, every time it happened, that I had already ~seen~ that moment in my dreams or something. 🤣

19. What is the strangest thing you have eaten? 

Hm. (My immature ass brain yells “DICK.” No, brain. Those were dark heteronormative times. Also, grow up.) 

Probably some of the sushi in Seattle. I actually love sushi, it’s just that when it has full-on legs and eyeballs I start getting a little squeamish. I like the rolls and the kind where there’s some fish meat laid out on a nice little bed of rice, that’s delicious. But when they brought out the whole shrimp with legs still attached, I was like “How in the (redacted) am I going to chew / swallow that.”

20. What are you most thankful for? 

That I happened to be living with family when this pandemic hit. I was supposed to move out (and across the country, actually) as of... like 4 days ago, as it happens. That was the plan. Plane ticket was gonna be booked for 7/15/20. Obviously, things didn’t quite work out that way, because of the pandemic and a few other reasons. But I can’t imagine if I had been in an apartment living with roommates, or in an apartment on my own struggling to get by, when this happened. A lot of people couldn’t pay rent and lost their homes. I was very, very lucky to be where I was, when I was, and very lucky that I have family who let me stay in their house pretty much indefinitely while this clusterfuck of a year happens.

21. Do you like spicy food? 

Yes! I looooove spicy thai food especially. I miss the massaman curry from a local Thai place so much 😭

22. Have you ever met someone famous? 

Um. Maybe? I met Veronica Roth once at an author talk in the library where I work, although it was before I worked there. And I met some guy from New Zealand who’s famous for his sword fighting skills because my dad does sword fighting stuff. Don’t remember his name though.

23. Do you keep a diary or journal? 

Yep. I have to write down everything or I forget. (I often say I have the memory of a goldfish.) Also, I have this compulsion to record and preserve my experiences in life, because I feel like our time on Earth is so fleeting and if I don’t write down what’s important to me, I’ll forget it and lose it.

24. Do you prefer to use a pen or a pencil? 

Pen. Pencil gets smudged.

25. What is your star sign? 

Scorpio, which is ironic because they’re supposed to be ~hyper sexual~ I guess, and I’m like gray-ace or something in that zone.

26. Do you like your cereal soggy or crunchy? 

Crunchy. Who eats soggy cereal? Are you okay? Do you need help? This is an intervention. 

27. What would you want your legacy to be? 

My stories. Life and sentience, as we experience it, is made up of just that: experience. And I read somewhere that, on some level, the human brain doesn’t differentiate that much between real life experiences and fictional experiences. I think that’s true. If you read or watch or hear the right story, it can really touch you and change the way you see life, or even change the way you live life. Stories have an incredible amount of power, both in individual people’s lives and in larger society. A huge amount of power. I want to be able to give people experiences that will Enrich Their Lives (do I sound like a lifestyle coach yet? 🤦🏼‍♀️), but also stories that actively do good in society. Positive representation, body positivity/neutrality, diversity, healthy relationships (Hollywood has a real problem with that). Hope. It’s the best thing I can think to give society, and storytelling is what I love to do.

28. Do you like reading, what was the last book you read? 

I love reading. I wish I did it more. Part of my problem is that I get caught up in the hectic Rat Race of modern society and I never feel like I have time to sit down with a book for hours. Another problem of mine is that I start too many things at once, meaning I currently have like 5-10 (I lost count) books that I started reading, and I want to finish all of them, which means no progress ever gets done on any of them.

I last finished The Goldfinch, and I am currently working on The Secret History, Good Omens, Dune, a book my dad wrote, Directing Actors, Shot by Shot, The Way of Kings and I forget what else.

29. How do you show someone you love them? 

Physical affection, acts of service, words of affirmation, quality time, and gifts, in that order. If I’m close to someone, whether romantically or not, I want all the affection. And I’m kind of dying in quarantine. 

30. Do you like ice in your drinks? 

Depends. I usually don’t put any in, because it’s just gonna water down the drink and get in the way of drinking it (you know when the ice attacks your face?), but I don’t really mind ice in my drinks.

31. What are you afraid of? 

Helplessness. I Have Control Issues. ✌️ Also stagnation.

32. What is your favourite scent? 

Amber. Or any scent that’s kind of autumn-y. You know what I mean. Some other examples include dryer sheets, wood smoke, cigarette smoke (my big sister used to smoke a long long time ago, and although I never saw her do it, I still associate the scent with her), pine resin, rain, that Mahogany Woods scent from Bath and Bodyworks.

33. Do you address older people by their name or surname? 

If they introduce themselves as Pam I call them Pam. If they introduce themselves as Mr. Brown I call them Mr. Brown.

34. If money was not a factor, how would you live your life? 

 If “money is not a factor” means I have an infinite amount of money to spend as I wish, then: buy land, build film studio complex on land, found company, hire fellow creatives, make movies.

If “money is not a factor” just means that I don’t have to work 40 hours a week to afford rent, then: move to Chicago, rent a nice studio apartment, write stories, maybe work 15 hours a week at a used bookstore or coffee shop to get me out of the house and socialize. Go to museums, go to the park, walk along Lake Michigan, go to gay bars, ride the train, brave the Illinois winters, own a cat, paint, play guitar. Build my actual career on writing / storytelling. Probably also do some filmmaking.

Alternatively: buy an RV (not like an American Trailer Park shitty RV, I’m talking the NOICE ones), buy good film equipment, be a freelancer, live in RV driving around to wherever the next filming location is. Life is a road trip and I’m doing what I love. Writing, storytelling, filmmaking. My home would travel with me. Writing in cafes; roadside attractions; early mornings on the road with coffee in the cup holder as the sun comes up; being able to go anywhere to film; always experiencing something new.

35. Do you prefer swimming in pools or the ocean? 

I’ve lived in a landlocked state my whole life, so I guess swimming pools. And, listen, I CANNOT get water in my mouth at the beach without wondering exactly how many kids have peed (or worse) in that water. (I know that’s a thing with pools too, but pools get cleaned.)

36. What would you do if you found £50 on the ground? 

Wonder what some poor European is doing in America right now. But if it was $50, I’d probably yell “DID ANYONE DROP THIS?” and then take it if no one speaks up.

37. Have you ever seen a shooting star? 

A few times, yeah.

38. What is the one thing you would want to teach your children? 

Grades are not the end-all-be-all. Skip some homework assignments to spend time with friends. Skip class sometimes. I’m serious. If you make school your top priority, even over your own personal life, you will come away with good grades and a lot of regret and missed opportunities. Learning is HELLA important, and very very little of it happens inside a school building. Get a 15 hour weekend or after-school job in high school, befriend your coworkers, and have fun with it. Use your paychecks however you want. Join a school club - one that you’re actually interested in. Do stupid shit. Light your textbooks on fire after graduation or go to the 24 hour Wendy’s at 2am with your friends or kiss that person you met at summer camp or sleep on the porch because it’s too hot to sleep inside. Be smart and safe, but follow your whims. If you let yourself fall into routine, apathy will poison you.

39. If you had to have a tattoo, what would it be and where would you get it? 

I already have a couple small ones, but the one I want next is a four-leaf clover. Don’t know where. Maybe my right inner wrist or maybe an ankle. Or like behind my ear. Luck has saved me so many times. (See above, with how I happened to be living with family when COVID hit.)

40. What can you hear now? 

Swamp cooler downstairs, the clock ticking in my office, cars outside, people moving around the house. I’m surprised the neighbor kids aren’t shrieking their absolute heads off as per the usual. 

41. Where do you feel the safest? 

When I’m alone and unobserved. 

42. What is the one thing you want to overcome/conquer? 

TMI warning, but I absolutely despise public bathrooms. How am I expected to pee when there’s somebody sitting like three (3) feet away, with only a partial wall between us, hearing everything that’s going on? My fight or flight response simply will not allow it. It’s too awkward and therefore Not Safe. Either that public restroom has to be empty except for me, or it has to be so loud and bustling that ain’t nobody hearing anything. Anything in-between and I’m in hell.

43. If you could travel back to any era, what would it be? 

The ‘80s. Let’s be honest, even that far back makes my life (as a woman, and as a gay person) hella difficult. But, consider this: it’s the ‘80s. Furthermore, consider this: a part-time job might have actually supported me and paid rent back then 😱 Holy fucking shit. Sign me up. I just wouldn’t want to go any further than than like 1980, because again: lesbian. Being a woman in the past = even harder than it is today, being gay in the past = even harder than it is today, being a gay woman in the past = oh no.

44. What is your most used emoji? 

In order of descending frequency:

😂🙄😊😁🤦🏼‍♀️👀😬🌈🤷🏼‍♀️😙

45. Describe yourself using one word. 

Creative

46. What do you regret the most?

Wasting my entire teenage experience. (See #38.) I did quite literally nothing with my life except homework for like 18 years. If I had taken even a tenth as much time for myself as I did for school, I would be so much farther along as a person today.

47. Last movie you saw? 

In the theaters? ........ uh. Shit, I don’t actually remember. It’s been like 5 months. (As it has for everyone.) But the last movie I watched was Lights Out, because I’ve been watching the director’s youtube channel. You could tell it was low-budget and that the director was still kind of finding his stride, but it had a lot of heart behind it and the creators clearly gave a fuck, which made it enjoyable. I am firmly in the camp of “not everything has to be a Magnum Opus or have a multi-billion dollar budget to be a good movie.” If I engaged with it and got some sort of emotional experience out of it, and if it had a good message, I consider it a good movie.

48. Last tv show you watched? 

I don’t usually watch a whole lot of TV shows (who has the time?) but I think the last thing I watched was either The Witcher or that new Unsolved Mysteries miniseries on Netflix. Oh and I was watching Dead to Me because I just love Linda Cardellini’s face and I want to wrap Judy up in a blanket and cuddle the shit out of her and protect her from all things 🥺 My precious beautiful unstable sweet murder baby.

49. Invent a word and it’s meaning. 

Apapanic. It’s where you’re so stressed about things that half of your brain is panicking but the other half is so overwhelmed that it circled all the way back around to being calm to the point of apathy, so you just kind of sit there like

#about me #tag game #except as usual i'm not gonna tag people because I don't have to social energy to ask people to do things #sorry i know that's kind of cheating #if you wanna overshare just say I tagged you lol #personal #tmi

[pfenniged]

Opinion: Bohemian Rhapsody versus Rocketman. GO.

Okay, I’m going to preface this with saying I’ve been a classic rock nerd all my life: One of the first songs I remember hearing was the Traveling Wilburys’ ‘Handle with Care’ on cassette, and my Dad pointing out each of the iconic rock idols in the band, hence being obsessed with George Harrison from an early age and listening obnoxiously to Bob Dylan and ELO (The other being ‘Do You Love Me’ by The Contours). I was the kid in high school who only had classic rock on their iPod, had a crush on John Entwistle and George Harrison. When I travelled to England for the first time, I literally spent the majority of my spending money getting these boss limited-edition Who Converse sneakers at a mod shop in Kent, and returned at sixteen to Canada thinking I was IT. xD 

My point is, I’ve always been a classic rock nerd, so I think I like to know a bit about what is represented versus actual events, etc. I’m also aware there’s a divide between critics and public reaction, especially in terms of Bohemian Rhapsody. 

That being said, I honestly think Rocketman is a better film in terms of using Elton John’s music to evoke and illustrate different points in his life, and therefore a better film for the snooty classic rock fan. By having the music demonstrative of different points in his life, it felt less to me like a discography (Which is what Bohemian Rhapsody felt like to me), and more of a study of the person behind the music, and what makes them tick. Taron Egerton also sang all the music in Rocketman, which honestly, puts him head and shoulders above Rami’s performance, although I think most people would agree, no one could recreate the vocal talents of Freddie Mercury.

I also think Taron’s performance was more nuanced and more realistic, which is what I like about Elton John. No matter how much of a twat he acts like, he (usually) admits to acting like a twat. Rocketman didn’t shy away from that, and it made an infinitely more interesting character study before that. You understand at the end that Elton is sensitive but creates a persona to create a bravado outside of that: You also have a really unique perspective in a platonic soulmate relationship between a gay and straight man between him and Bernie Taupin, which I love, and is rarely represented on screen in terms of queer relationships. It’s really unnatural, and clearly written by straight people usually, but it’s usually OMG A GAY MAN THAT MUST MEAN HE MUST WANT TO SLEEP WITH EVERYONE AROUND HIM (Which is completely untrue; does a straight person want to sleep with everyone around them? Not usually).

It also doesn’t shy away from the worst aspects of Elton’s character: That he can be downright cruel and lash out if he feels like he’s being attacked, his issues with bulimia, drug addiction, and alcohol abuse, his dependency on the opinion of his parents, when basically it shows what absolute jealous losers they are and how they were disgustingly jealous of their son’s talent, enough to wish he’d never been born. That makes the film ten times more interesting, even without it being the ‘character’ of Elton John. 

It also acts as a great character study of being gay in the late sixties early seventies, and the attitudes there. I found in Bohemian Rhapsody, that really was never addressed? I think it tried to address the cultural divide between Freddie’s family and him, but in real life, Freddie never ‘came out’ to his parents, so I think it was a bit of revisionist history on behalf of Brian May and Roger Taylor. 

I also honestly didn’t think the portrayal of Freddie was particularly nuanced, besides the typical ‘he’s getting too big for his britches’ late second half split that happens in any rock movie. I felt like they were afraid to display any qualities that were too far gone in making him an ‘unlikable’ character, because he’s passed on now and seen as a rock god. But I also found the performance a little boring, to be honest (I felt it was earnest, but Rami didn’t really have a lot to work with).

Live Aid was also moved up in the timeline, which is fine, and expected to make a narrative for a rock band film, but the one thing I didn’t like about Bohemian Rhapsody was that it felt like it was made for a really casual fan? Which is fine, but it really felt like, as previously mentioned, they were just going through the discography of their greatest hits, rather than having them serve any bigger purpose. Now we’re going to have a scene of “We Will Rock You,” now John Deacon is going to write the bass line to ‘Another One Bites the Dust,’ that sort of thing. 

Then, when Live Aid DOES happen in the movie, it’s basically a shot for shot remake. Which is fine, if you haven’t seen the actual Live Aid performance. But if you have, the last twenty minutes of the film basically feels like a pantomime of a better performance with more electricity in the air.

I also didn’t like how they basically played off John Deacon as a joke most of the time, when he literally is responsible for some of Queen’s best songs. I know he’s essentially retired now, and Roger and Brian were basically in control of the script, etc., but seriously. Half the songs they highlight in the film (’You’re My Best Friend, Another One Bites the Dust, etc.) were written by John. Even at the stupid reunion scene, Freddie’s like YOU HAVE A ROLE BRIAN, AND YOU HAVE A ROLE, ROGER, AND DEAKY, WHEN YOU MAKE THAT FACE, and I’m like REALLY. IS THIS ALL THIS FUCKER DOES. XD

Lastly, I honestly just found the insertion of Mary Austin as a major part of the film irritating. I know she played a large role in his life, and I’m not trying to take away from that, but considering the questionable things she’s done in the past towards Freddie’s partner (I.E: Kicking him out of Freddie’s house like literally a month after he passed away, refusing not to be in the first car in the funeral procession with him, not allowing him to take the cats him and Freddie shared with him, etc.), I���m not a huge fan. I also didn’t particularly like where they had that whole scene where Freddie is attempting to explain he loves her platonically and she just comes out dramatically and basically says he can’t be bisexual and basically pitches a huge bitch fit and decides his sexuality for him and yells, “YOU’RE GAY.” Maybe that’s what truly happened, but it just felt disingenuous to who Freddie was as a person (From what I understood, besides saying he didn’t feel sexually attracted to women, he didn’t particularly care what gender people were that he was with), so it just felt to me like they had to have a straight woman in the film to code that Freddie could be in love with a woman so therefore ‘acceptable gay’ (Hot take). Plus she was basically the relatable stand-in for the audience, so we’re basically supposed to take her side  so Freddie’s more ‘queer’ experiences were more relatable. YEESH. XD At least Elton had it right when he said his film was rated ‘R’ because he ‘hadn’t led a PG-13 rated life.’ xD

And that’s what I really liked about Rocketman: You could feel it was written from the perspective of a queer person, or at least with the input of a queer person (obviously). The platonic friendship angle, the fear and coming to a realisation about coming out angle, the fact that many gay men, especially back then, were abused by partners in power dynamic relationships, and even subtle aspects, like that whole scene of ‘Tiny Dancer,’ where Elton is literally surrounded by a party of straight people hooking up, and he’s on his own. He doesn’t fit in, even though he’s literally ‘the star of the show.’ He’s not like everyone else, and can only hope to be like everyone else forlornly and have that love connection he wants so desperately. That’s what I loved about Rocketman, and that’s why I’ve rewatched it several times, while I literally only watched Bohemian Rhapsody once: It’s real narratives and experiences we don’t usually get, and it doesn’t cater to someone’s ‘idea’ of what a certain rock star is. It’s more creative, unique, and nuanced than Bohemian Rhapsody could ever be, and I’m still bitter (along with Elton John), that Egerton won the Golden Globe for Best Actor, but wasn’t nominated for an Oscar, probably because Bohemian Rhapsody was released the year before, and they didn’t want two actors playing classic rock gods to win the Oscar two years in a row. 

But anyhow: I have a lot of feelings about this and thank you for asking. xD

#personal #anonymous #bohemian rhapsody #Rocketman #Queen #Elton John #classic rock #thank you for coming to my TED talk #please avoid throwing tomatoes

[dkettchen]

BLACK MIRROR S5E1 “STRIKING VIPERS” E X P L A I N E D

-with the help of gender and game theory-

Y’all asked for it so here we go

Some things before we start: -If you were watching the episode looking for gay/trans shit, and got disappointed, I’m sorry but I can’t help you because that’s just not what the episode was about and that is ok. It explored some aspects of queer experience, and the limbo between queer and cis-straight experience, that isn’t usually addressed in such an honest and indepth way, which I think is just as important as trans or gay rep.  -I will focus my analysis on the core theme of what certain academics writing about androgyny call the “moment of transgression” so in this case the question of ‘what is Karl/Roxette’s deal & what does that mean for Danny/Lance’s feelings toward and interactions with them?’. -CW: transphobia, homophobia, toxic masculinity, (rpg) uncanny valley stuff, you get it, you know what subjects we’ll be talking about here. 

Now!

I’d like to start by pointing out the title “Striking Vipers” to get the phallus talk out of the way right off the bat x’D: It’s a very blatant penis metaphor, and Vipers specifically are venomous, so represent toxic masculinity. The image of them striking signals danger. The repetition of phallic symbols represents the threat of castration (see medusa turning them bois to stone & the heroic masculinity of the mirror shielded boi who managed to defeat her), which to phallocentric masculinity is the scawiest thing there is (losing the phallus = losing manhood = death?? I guess??). Striking Vipers means that toxic masculinity, by nature, is a threat to itself. (I could talk for hours about the exact warped logic of phallocentricity but Imma spare y’all cause I don’t think it’s relevant for this, I’d even go as far as saying this episode was anti-phallic (which I use here as a more inclusive word for “feminist”, as the episode’s core is about two guys, but still focused on them experiencing and embracing feminine power and freeing themselves from phallocentricity(/patriarchy)’s grasp, just like “what men want” was preoccupied with the toxic masculinity of its female protagonist)) That sets up the kind of horror the episode will be about, the male fear of castration, of loss of identity, of having to face the fact that traditional masculinity is toxic even to the people who conform to it. 10/10 title choice.

Next up: the core question of what label to put on Karl and Danny’s VR interactions (‘Fellas, is it gay to fuck ur best friend in a lady body in VR?’). Which leads to the first question which is: what gender is Karl when he’s playing as Roxette?  An essentialist might say: ‘Well he’s a man irl so he’s still a man even if he plays with a female avatar. Danny’s attraction to him is either him being trapped or just plain old gay.’ But I don’t think that’s the case. It’s not a trap scenario (have some videos on traps and how they’re not real actually: (x.), (x.)), because both people involved know the exact parameters of the situation. Danny knows this is Karl in Roxette’s body, there’s nothing hidden, no misunderstanding to be had here. I also don’t think it’s gay because if it was this would’ve happened irl or with two male avatars, but it only happened once one of them was in a female avatar, that was the change that made it happen. It’s not a fetishising phallic/trans women scenario either, because it’s the opposite, it’s a man’s mind in a woman’s body. There’s no doubt about Karl being a man irl, a queer man sure, but definetely a man. He’s just too into -womanhood while playing her for me to say he’s still male when he’s in that form, like Karl as Roxette isn’t a trans guy as a man’s mind in a female body usually would be (like f.e. Ranma 1/2), I also don’t think Karl as Roxette is an androgyne/non-binary/third term either, because again, he’s embracing her womanhood and the role that comes with it, to the extreme that is hetero PiV sex, too much. I’d argue what we see is the closest to the liberation and euphoria described by other queer men when doing drag, she’s just a more extreme version of drag, of crossplaying, making the fantasy real, wearing not only the clothes of a woman but the body too. Roxette as Karl’s avatar is an alter ego, who is female, so -on the risk of sounding like the biggest performativist since Judith Butler- Karl as Roxette presents as female, so, for all intents and purposes, is female in that moment, regardless of his irl persona maintaining his male gender outside of that. 

But that wasn’t what we wanted to know, was it. Because even if, in the moment that Karl plays Roxette, we can say that person is female, that doesn’t eliminate the fact that Karl, outside of that, isn’t and that he’s still the one playing her. It’s the notion of how the player/actor/performer and avatar/character/persona aren’t the same thing and can have different relationships with someone in real life vs in the game, and how that can be confusing to think about because there is no clear line between the two, something that is called “bleed” in ludology(/game studies, from lat. ludus: game or school; referring to the gladiator schools in like the colosseum), despite their relationships being fundamentally different (in this case friendship irl vs passionate love in game).  Take TAZ as an example: The McElroys are related, but in playing a trpg, the DM, usually Griffin, takes up the mantle of all NPCs in the game world, including love interests. Griffin played Julia, Kravitz, and Danny (different Danny lol), but he’s talking to his brother, except he isn’t, is he, cause it’s not Griffin talking and it’s not his brother responding, it’s two characters interacting. A similar uncanny valley can be found in actor/character bleed: Take Ludi and Pom (the actors for Lance and Roxette) in this one: like 80% of their screentime was spent making out or having fake sex. These actors aren’t dating (as far as I’m aware lol), this is their job, to fake love each other on screen, imagine having to do that with a coworker you feel nothing for. It’s the characters that feel something and you have to play that feeling (which is so meta at that point, they’re playing characters that are avatars being played by characters in the show). Also, talking of role-playing, can we appreciate the scene of Danny & Theo at the bar where they’re role-playing and she’s like that was hot and he’s like mental note bae’s into role-playing, because DAMN that foreshadowing of the erotic potential of roleplay as a concept.

But it’s not role-playing really either with Danny and Karl, is it? They’re playing in avatars other than themselves but they’re not fully a different person. They still very much feel the same just in a different form. Their emotions are real even though they might only apply to part of their experience, the in-game part. Yet they obviously take them seriously and personal and get influenced by them outside the game. Maybe the question is what is and is not role-playing? Where does the bleed start and end, and do we even need to know the answer to those questions? They answer those questions for themselves in the end by testing out their feelings irl to see if they track or not, fully ready for both possibilities (which 10/10 character development love it). They want clarity. It’s about the emotional limbo fantasy brings with it. It’s the same question “Are traps gay” is about. (Not the “Is it ok to feel attracted to androgynous ppl” one necessarily, but) “Does feeling attracted to the fantasy mean you feel attracted to the “real” thing underneath?” Are the feelings for the fantasy alone or also for the reality? Are they only applicable to the latter and does that change something about what you thought you knew about yourself? It’s a question about the fringe edges of limited/monosexuality and the very fabric of reality. 

Let’s return to Karl to look at his experience as Roxette. We’ve established that she is female, but what is Karl while playing her? In the spirit of queer drag as liberating, it’s almost like he’s taking a break from being Karl when playing as her. Drag, crossplay, or this extreme version of it, functions as a break from the toxicity and limitations of traditional gender roles (so in this case traditional masculinity). It is freeing, though what does it free? Some genderless spirit inhabiting each person? But then how do you explain the firm gender identity lots of people, including for all we know Karl, experience in everyday life? As a trans person I know that there is SOMETHING to gender on some level that can create gender dysphoria (social and/or physical) for people when put in a body they don’t identify with. As a drag performer, trpg enthousiast, and notorious crossplayer, I know that taking a break from that reality and being somebody else can be relieving, a break from your own problems. So what is that part of us that translates into fantasy? I feel like this goes into transhumanist territory which I don’t know enough about to even attempt to provide an answer. I think what it comes down to in terms of gender theory is, this is a situation at the height of where performativism is true and relevant. There is a relativity to the nature of reality and gender itself. Whatever base essence there is that causes gender dysphoria at a mismatch between outside and inside, doesn’t apply here. Both notions (of essential and performative gender) are real and have an impact on people but neither is always the case and neither is never the case. They’re not mutually exclusive. 

So, seeing as it seems impossible to pinpoint what gender Karl/Roxette qualifies as (other than all and/or none), let’s look at the nature of Danny/Lance and Karl/Roxette’s interactions and feelings toward those interactions and each other to try and contextualise what label(s) they might fit under.  The desire on Danny’s side when faced with Roxette’s form shows itself in a way he’d never feel toward Karl. That visual change, and the social changes it brings with it (in gender role), makes it so extreme, because it pairs the parts of his friend he appreciates and enjoys (personality and whatever deeper connection a close friendship brings with it), with a form that is attractive to him. That change translates to Karl too. In playing with this new form that has a different role and a different effect on someone he’s known for so long, he flows into that, melts into this new persona and lives it up! The way they interact in game isn’t gay. It is very much reflecting how straight attraction and female sexuality works. On one hand it’s based in undeniable difference (hetero = different), and on the other hand Karl/Roxette’s enjoyment thereof is based in being desirable, in having that power of seduction just by existing, that notion of feminine power and the freedom that comes with it. It’s not autogynephilia, that would imply he gets off on the idea of himself as a woman, which is not the case, he gets off on being desired as a woman, which is what female sexuality is about (source: ContraPoints’ Autogynephilia video (which I recommend, it’s very good))

Still whenever Karl tries to get Danny to keep having VR sex with him/Roxette, he talks about her in 3rd person, like a persona. In saying “it’s just like porn” he poses something that is very much a different activity (acting out the porn by -doin’ it-) as a homosocially (social as opposed to sexual/romantic) acceptable one (watching porn together which I’ve been told is a thing). He attempts to differentiate himself from his female persona and enjoyment there-of (by objectifying her, like a porn actress to be watched rather than identified with), himself and Danny from the queerness (in enjoying femininity and in Danny being down with basically fucking a drag-queen) and to retreat back into heteronormative traditional masculinity, away from the scawy unknown of exploring your sexuality. His internalised homo- and transphobia makes him suppose that Danny, as a supposed straight guy, will only respond to the safety of assured non-queerness, which, honestly, I don’t think is the case with him. Karl supposes his cancelling on him and not wanting to do it anymore is out of the fear for his sexual identity or whatever, but from what I can tell, while Danny also seems to be rather confused about what it all means, the reasons he cancels their nightly sessions, and rejects Karl/Roxette, are always about not wanting his marriage to fall apart. He quite clearly prefers hot VR sex to hanging out with his wife, and cancels out of duty to her rather than fear. Even the first time they kiss, Karl is the one to freak out first. Danny seems much calmer about the attraction part of the situation, to the point of in the end being the one to take initiative and make them try it out irl to put an end to the confusion.

The episode hits hard because it takes the way men play video games and brings it to its logical conclusion. Video games are mens safe-space, and they do play with that playful flirty banter. The show takes that and makes it real, including taking it to its extreme conclusion that is -doin’ it-. It infiltrates the male safe space by taking normalised behaviour, and taking it so far that it puts traditional masculinity and heteronormative attraction in question, the very thing the safe space was supposed to protect them from. That’s why it’s existentially horrifying for the main characters (and viewers that identify with them) and qualifies as a black mirror episode even without having a homo-/trans-/biphobic ending (like other media that put traditional masculinity in question usually do, not to mention all the horror based in queer-coding) 

Hope y’all enjoyed this journey into a bit of mind-bending game and gender theory! Pls don’t expect me to do this like ever again bc I need to go work on my actual essay rip x’D 

#long post #Black Mirror #BM: Striking Vipers #games studies #gender studies

[fandomshatelgbtqpeople]

There’s a post that’s been bothering me for literally four years. It managed to somehow be both homophobic and transphobic and the (very popular) social justice blogger who made it never got any serious blowback. I’m going to post a screencap of it here, but I won’t say who it’s from because it was four years ago. What I will say is that as far as I know, they have never addressed it or apologized despite having been asked more than once, never did anything about all the people in the notes using it as a reason to be homophobic, and that they are still a pretty popular, well regarded blog.

This post was made in response to part of an old conversation that got dragged up. It was one of those things that’s like, maybe this was okay, maybe it wasn’t, depending on the context, which I’ve never been able to find. The person who originally pulled it up was a transphobe who was talking about “biological sex,” so I don’t trust their judgment or intentions, but a broken clock is right twice a day, so it’s possible that something actually homophobic was said. I haven’t posted it here because that would just be taking it out of context again and as OP has pointed out, that isn’t helpful. Here’s the part of their response that deals with monosexuals and making assumptions about people’s gender. The rest of the post talked about why taking the comment out of context didn’t accurately represent their feelings and how the conversation had also been about biphobia and bi erasure, and that’s all fine.

It starts out fine (making assumptions about someone’s gender and anatomy based on their appearance is cissexist and we should all try not to do it), but it turns into “and I don’t do that because I’m bisexual.” Which like, you’re a cis woman so yes you fucking do. I’m nonbinary and I still do it sometimes. And then there’s that line at the end about how gay and straight people’s orientations are based on assumptions about people’s gender and anatomy. 

I’ll note that they were talking about monosexuals, which includes lesbians, gay men, and all straight people and was also read like it was directed at people who were doing it out of ignorance rather than malice, so this post was not specifically about terfs and isn’t really applicable to them at all because they know exactly what they’re doing. Terfs were also considered just as bad in 2015 as they are now, so if that comment had been about terfs, they could have said that and it would have gotten them off the hook with the people who were calling them out in good faith.

They then wrote out a longer explanation about what their current feelings were on the subject. This is broken up into two images just because it was too long to screencap at once. I haven’t removed anything. The first post and second reblog are the OP:

They later edited the post twice--once to specify that they were only talking about cis monosexuals and once to add “and sometimes also bi and pan people do this too,” which did little to address the fact that this post was literally claiming that being gay or straight was inherently problematic and that bi and pan people were automatically less transphobic by virtue of their sexual orientation and just ended up implying that it’s only okay to be gay if you’re trans (because I guess that means you’re woke enough to stop yourself from being attracted to people on sight?). Here’s 

Four years ago, I wasn’t really able to articulate a response that cut to the root of why this post bothered me so much more than any other homophobic or transphobic bullshit and to navigate around the fact that there are parts of it that I genuinely agree with (most of the stuff about anatomy), but I’m older and more practiced now, so here we go.

This post is based on a number of incorrect assumptions:

That gay people can’t find someone they’re not attracted to aesthetically pleasing to look at

That gay people are, across the board, only attracted to certain genitalia and base their sexual orientations off that

That gay people’s thoughts immediately jump to sex the first time they’re attracted to someone

That the only way to be bi is to be attracted to every gender

That gay people base their assumptions about people’s gender on whether they’re attracted to them

That still being willing to have sex with someone after finding out you were wrong about their gender makes your assumption less transphobic

They were not willing to listen to any of the gay people in their notes trying to explain to them that this isn’t actually how being gay works at all or any of the bi, pan, or trans people who called them out for being way out of their lane. The only person they responded to at all was a trans lesbian who pointed out that they hadn’t ever specified that they were only talking about cis gay people (that person also pointed out several ways in which the post was homophobic, none of which were addressed beyond “that’s not what I meant”). 

Basically, the thesis statement here is, “Gay people’s attraction is based solely around sex and genitals and none of them are attracted to trans people, but bi and pan people are attracted to everyone so we don’t make as many assumptions about people’s gender, and when we do it’s less problematic.” Which is obviously very false for multiple reasons. 

I’m going to go through all of these assumptions and talk about the underlying thought processes underpinning them and how they’re even more insidious than they seem on the surface. 

1. Gay people can’t find someone they’re not attracted to aesthetically pleasing to look at

This is actually one of the more benign assumptions and what it really comes down to is not understanding that thinking, “That person is hot” isn’t the same thing as thinking, “I would be interested in pursuing a sexual relationship with that person” (which also isn’t necessarily the same thing as thinking “I would be interested in pursuing a romantic relationship with that person” but this post completely ignores that romance might be part of being gay--we’ll get to that later). It’s really just a fundamental misunderstanding about what sexual attraction is and how it works. 

2. Gay people are, across the board, only attracted to certain genitalia 

The obvious thought process underlying this attitude is that you have to be attracted to women in some capacity to want to date and trans man and vice versa for trans women. There are two possible assumptions that could be causing this. The first is that all gay people (and all straight people) are transphobic and only care about genitalia. The second is that a trans man who hasn’t had bottom surgery isn’t really enough of a man for someone who’s only attracted to men to want to have sex with him, and the same for trans women. You’re either being homophobic or transphobic here. 

In fact, what it really reveals about OP is that, regardless of their self-righteousness on this topic, they are the one equating being attracted to women with being attracted to vaginas and being attracted to men with being attracted to penises. That’s not to say that there isn’t a transphobia problem in gay communities, but the implication here is that these are the objective definitions of being a lesbian and a gay man respectively. There are definitely cis lesbians who date trans women and cis gay men who date trans men. 

OP assigned a transphobic, incorrect definition to gay people and then based a lot of their argument on that. We see this a lot in ace discourse (”it means not wanting to fuck”) and in bi vs pan discourse (”it excludes nonbinary people”). It would be a problem if it was true, but it’s not, and while there are people who ascribe to that definition, those people wrong. There are lots cissexist bi and pan people who equate gender and genitalia until told otherwise, and it’s not less transphobic when they do it. It’s a transphobia problem, not a being gay problem.

3. Gay people’s thoughts immediately jump to sex as soon as they’re attracted to someone

So this is just blatant sexualization of gay people, and it really explains a lot of about the first two assumptions. Being gay is all about sex, so if you’re gay, you can’t possibly think someone is hot without immediately thinking about what they look like naked and how you want to have sex with them. And of course because being gay is all about what kind of sex you want to have, your attraction must be defined by the genitalia of your partners. 

It should go without saying that this is really homophobic. Even for gay aros, this isn’t how it works. I guess I can understand how if you’re equally attracted to everyone, you might not understand how gender plays a roll in attraction outside of thinking about sex, but it does, and that you don’t get it doesn’t excuse this. It just means you shouldn’t have been talking about it.

4. The only way to be bi is to be attracted to every gender

 There are a couple of assumptions that could be underlying this. The possibility that’s most charitable to OP is that they are attracted to every gender and assume that that’s the only way to be bi. This is the only option that avoids exorsexism, but it is biphobic. 

The second possibility is an assumption that nonbinary people don’t exist. Therefore, the only way to be bi is to be attracted to both men and women. This is extremely exorsexist for obvious reasons. 

The third is a little more complicated, but it’s basically an assumption that being attracted to nonbinary people doesn’t, on it’s own, make someone bi. So, a person acknowledges that nonbinary people exist but basically thinks that either, because nonbinary people span so many identities, it’s impossible to be attracted to them if you’re not attracted to everyone. So a bi woman who’s attracted to nonbinary people and women shouldn’t exist because some nonbinary people identify so close to being a man that you couldn’t be attracted to them if you weren’t attracted to men. This is where the fetishization argument that a lot of exlusionists use comes from (I’m not saying that OP is an exclusionist, this is just the underlying ideology they use), and it ignore the fact that identifying as being attracted to women and nonbinary people doesn’t mean you’re attracted to ALL women and nonbinary people. It just means you can be attracted to women and nonbinary people.

Another possible mindset underlying that assumption is that if you aren’t attracted to everyone, the nonbinary people you’re attracted to must be so close as to be indistinguishable from whatever binary gender you’re attracted to, and therefore don’t count as being a different gender. That mindset stems from not thinking aboit nonbinary genders as being as legitimate or meaningful as binary genders and from seeing nonbinary people as basically whatever binary gender you think they’re closest to (”If you’re a bi woman who is attracted to men and nonbinary people, you’re really straight because your nonbinary partner looks like/acts like/is basically a man”). This is again exorsexist for reasons that should be obvious. 

5. Gay people base their assumptions about people’s gender on whether they’re attracted to them

This is the assumption that gay people go: 

I’m attracted to this person -> They must be a man/woman

rather than

I think this person is a man/woman -> I’m attracted to them

This frames gay people’s attraction as the reason the assumption about someone else’s gender is being made, and not the fact that we were all raised in a cissexist society. It’s also lets cis bi and pan people completely off the hook cissexism. If gay people’s assumptions about other people’s gender is caused by or is somehow made worse being attracted to them, then bi and pan people should be basically immune because they’re attracted to everyone (according to OP).

The mindset underlying this assumption is that there are people that you are innately attracted to and gay people are just attempting to shape their sexual orientation around their best guess at who those people are. Therefore, everyone is... I don’t know, varying degrees of bi I guess?... and gay people (and straight people) are just the transphobes who assume they know what everyone’s gender is, while bi and pan people are enlightened enough to realize they don’t. OP claimed in the notes that they weren’t saying monosexual orientations don’t exist, but if the point your making is that monosexual orientations are based solely around an assumption that’s probably wrong, then that is what you’re saying. And they definitely didn’t correct the first reblogger, who was unequivocally saying that.

It completely ignores the probability that a person’s attraction would disappear after finding out the person’s gender was actually not compatible with their sexual orientation, or the possibility that a gay person might know someone at least well enough to have some idea of what their gender is before becoming sexual attracted to them (because, as we’ve covered, just thinking someone is hot isn’t the same as attraction, and many gay people aren’t fantasizing about sex with complete strangers). Unless we’re talking about a closeted trans person, you usually don’t have to know someone that well to know what their gender is.

Shocker: most assumptions about people’s gender are made because they “look like” one of the binary genders, have certain secondary sex characteristics, have a traditionally masculine or feminine name, use he/him or she/her pronouns, or have a certain gender marker on their driver’s license. These are all things that bi and pan people are equally susceptible to. 

6. Still being willing to have sex with someone after finding out you were wrong about their gender makes your assumption less transphobic

It super doesn’t. You still made the assumption. Framing it this way implies that transphobia is all about whether you would be willing to have sex with a trans person. I shouldn’t need to explain why that’s bad.

In conclusion

I want to mention that OP clarified that they weren’t try to say that everyone is bi in a reblog, but if that’s genuinely true then... I honestly don’t know how this post made sense to them. The point is either “people only think they’re gay or straight because they’re making assumptions about other people’s genders” OR “gay people want to have sex with strangers and that’s problematic (but it’s fine if a bi or pan person does it).” Which is a great example of someone setting a standard that requires huge changes from others but none from them and then getting self-righteous because other people don’t meet it (surprise surprise, the post I was referencing when I brought this up yesterday was from the same OP). 

Anyway, regardless of which is true, it’s wrong. This post is homophobic, transphobic, and also erases a lot of bi experiences, and I still can’t believe that so many people just let this go unchecked when it happened.

mod k

Note: I better not catch a single one of you using this post as an excuse to be biphobic. 

#modk #homophobia #transphobia #exorsexism #genital mention #long post

[yourfandomfriend]

Symbolism and Simplification | Good Omens Meta

Aha, I’ve found something to meta about! It’s actually the only ambiguous thing about the whole series: what do you think Crowley and Aziraphale represent? 

** SPOILERS** FOR GOOD OMENS ** SPOILERS **

There’s a lot of argument surrounding GO in regard to the sexuality of the main characters. On the one hand, they’re angels, they don’t breed, they don’t have human brain chemistry, they even really have gender in the sense we’re used to, they obviously lack the baggage of humans and their sexualities. But on the other hand, they’re fictional characters invented within a society, baggage is baked into everything whether we mean for it to be or not.

So what are they already? Are they gay/bi/etc? Are they without human definition? Ace? Queerbaiting? Better left to interpretation? Well. I think all these questions ignore something painfully fundamental that we zero out when we adjust to consuming the hundreds of stories available to modern flixxers: 

They are fictions.

I don’t mean that as a brush-off; I think the questions are valid and being fictitious doesn’t let anyone off the hook for political statements. What I mean is, fictional characters aren’t people but are symbolic of people. Of large ideas and thorny emotions, how we see ourselves grappling with them, with all the noise of reality, the static and blur and contradiction, left out. 

That’s important because nothing in fantasy is ever truly a 1:1 reflection of reality. That would be horribly dull and not at all as sharp and vivid as fiction. We don’t have time for squinting at Monets. The world is ending...

Making the Big, Feel Small

The TV Apocalypse! Hot take: who gives a rats ass about that? A fake world ending and people who never lived are going to die? No consequences for us, so no real stakes! Why should any of us care?

Well, what if the world ending in a TV show took something away that could hurt us in the real world? Reach through the screen and snap us where it counts? But that would mean the show would have to be the one to give us something we wanted in the first place. Needed, even. Something rare and precious, something it could hold over our heads in case we stopped investing our emotions in the make-believe end of days.

I think you get where I’m going with this. The fabric of reality is threatening to be torn apart over some ridiculous war between initial caps Good and Evil, and if they get their way, it’s not just the end of the world. It’s the end of Crowley & Aziraphale’s arrangement/fraternizing/love story. 

And just like that, we feel it tug at our heartstrings. It really could end, oh no!

We like them so we get why they might like each other. But to make us really care, we have to go through it with them and have them go through it with us. It’s not enough for us to want them to be together, they have to want them to be together, too. So the miniseries decides to illustrate anecdotes that the book is content to describe so you’ll know where you were when these chumps fell in love with each other.

As far as romantic moments that leave shippers squeeing, most shows have a few every season at the very best, but Gaimen and co. aren’t forking around. They only had eight episodes, why not go the “Oops! All Berries” route? Every scene they’re in has at least a look or a line that sews precarious, blossoming Love Sweet Love into the seems of this show like a sadistic tailor.

We don’t just want them to be safe in the end. We don’t just want them to be happy. They have to be together.

Making the Small Feel Big

So love stories... Some of us adore them but some of us just don't have the patience for them, or we’ve been conditioned to think they’re too flowery. Just people creating drama for themselves that could easily be avoided. What to do then? How does one make a romance slap?

Why not make it the literal end of the world? Why not rain fish from the sky and summon C’thulu and set shit on fire? Not only is it great drama but it makes for great symbolism and helps out those of us who can’t sit still for a love story.

Why not make saps of your hard-edged audience? Some of us need it.

Making the Ineffable, Eff

“So the HMS Ineff Yourself is the ship to end all ships,” I hear you say. “So what? You didn’t answer the question to our satisfaction! What are they really? Friends, lovers? I want a box to put them in or I’ll explode! This isn’t hyperbole and I’m not a straw man, I’m a real person trapped in a blog post!” 

Well, I can address some of that, relax. Answering the big question requires a buttload of empathy. Not only are Crowley and Aziraphale not human, but they don’t have the culture of humans. Their big taboo isn’t about gender -- in a world where the establishment is casually nonbinary, it’s hard to use these guys as a super-literal reflexion of the real world. The hats have little fingers, the plants are terrified, it’s all a stretch. 

But the idea of two characters in love being torn apart by a false dichotomy that dictates everything about their expression and forces them into narrow little boxes of performance, that if expectations aren’t met could result in their violent deaths, is, among other things, deeply applicable.

It doesn’t just look like this to a biased audience, it was written that way. In order to wrap your brain around something as alien as angels and demons, something you can’t actually know, you have to draw from what you can know. They love each other, but it’s all a little beyond their understanding. But they’re immortal, they have time to figure it out.

That answer may lack the definition some of us want, but what doesn’t?

Better Angels

One part of the story I’ve seen even very smart people stumble over is something I see smart people stumble over constantly in their analysis of great fiction. They just can’t abide a gray area.

Maybe in real life, it makes sense for things to not be all black and white, but they expect things that are a little removed from them, things they might not be paying a lot of attention to (like my blog posts) to be very clear about which side they come down on. They’re like Gabriel that way.

We know most people are blind, biased fools, but we all want to believe we’re not. We don’t have scales on our eyes, we know what’s up and see the world clearly, we want what is Right, not just what is simple and convenient.

But if most people are fools...?

The Heaven part of the story makes no sense to people who see the world in black and white terms because, you know, it’s one thing to portray Hell as bad, but Heaven? Heaven is Righteous, how can Righteousness be bad?

Sure, Crowley’s okay, but that must be because he’s good deep down and always has been, there’s no other reason he’d care about humans. And we like him, and we’re good, so he must be good. (That’s the transitive property of fandom.) It can’t be that we mistake things we like for things that are right and all that’s beneficial to humanity with good-. Ow! Oo, sorry, I think I sprained my sarcasm. (I shouldn’t overtax it like that!)

Along with not seeing the gray in Crowley, most will ignore it in Aziraphale, too, at least on first viewing. After all, he’s just so kind, and willing to rebel against Heaven and everything he believes in and even put himself in danger of smiting to stop a terrible thing from happening. But most of all, he cares about humans and Crowley. He loves. What’s so bad about that?

Well, you can love people and still be decadent, dishonest, willfully ignorant of inconvenient facts, manipulative, self-involved, gullible, silly, (although it hurts me to list that as a flaw) procrastinating, spoiled, and a push-over. 

Actually, looking at a list of some of Azirphale’s flaws makes it clear that most of them come down to him being weak-willed. He wants to be good but as an unsupervised god among men for 6000 years, someone who can magic even small things to go his way, he lacks the willpower to stick to anything once he’s (even gently) been tempted away from it.

And that which seems to be the heart of all his failings, the thing that pissed off Heaven the most about him, also seems to be the thing Crowley finds most compelling about him. It’s the part of Az that wants things for himself, that needs other people, and will break the rules if he thinks they’re unreasonable. That would never, say, damn someone to Hell for asking questions. The part of him that can absolutely love someone who was damned.

Aziraphale spends most of the story being pulled back and forth between powerful personalities, between Gabriel and Crowley, only to ultimately choose and fight for the thing he himself wants most, rather than what other people tell him to do or even the thing he knows is right. Which is good, since his concepts of right and wrong were handed to him by ridiculous bureaucrats.

At least in the series, Aziraphale and Crowley are perfectly symbolic of humanity’s struggle with doing the right thing in interesting times. They aren’t exactly bad people needing to become good, but a lot of little mistakes on their part added up to a big disaster and they both needed to find the strength and the courage to swim against a very wicked current.

In my opinion, the show is about failing and making amends. It doesn’t matter if you’re trying to do the right thing or the wrong thing, we all fuck up more than occasionally, but we have to get on with it and do our best.

Because there are no better angels. It’s just us. 

.

.

.

...What, you want a clearer, simpler answer than that? Fine. The real message of Good Omens is don’t pollute.

#good omens #meta #spoilers #long post

[bladesoflightandshadow]

In RoD that context could have been lost but that pressure isnt always unique to gender. A black male mc with a single father with intense pressure to succeed and to be perfect could also resonate. A number of the people who wanted a non-genderlocked book aren't white,straight or cis and experience that same pressure. Also in books like VOS it accounted for gender and had specific experiences if you played as a female Mc,they could have done that.

right so i lost my progress typing this halfway through so if i end up sounding pissy that’s why

i understand where you’re coming from. i understand how debilitating that pressure to be successful can be when you’re the child of immigrants, when you’re a person of colour, regardless of your gender. i even get how expectations of masculinity can play a role in making that experience even more difficult in some ways for men. i’m not saying it’s impossible to explore those ideas, and there does need to be more media which addresses that.

however, in the context of choices, and the way we’ve seen them handle social issues like that in the past, i really don’t see there being enough room for adding nuance in the way gender affects how an mc’s story plays out. even in the example you gave, veil of secrets, these gender variations were limited to a few interactions that didn’t really affect the overall storyline. and i honestly think vos did the whole gender variation thing the best compared to other books, but ultimately gender had little bearing on the mc’s actual development as a character.

with rod mc, however, her gender has played a huge role in her growth throughout the book, even if it is never explicitly stated. (i am admittedly not caught up, so i’m basing this off of what i have played and other people’s discussions of the book that i’ve seen.) her father’s over-protectiveness, the way he often refers to her as the ‘perfect daughter’, the fact that her entire narrative is based around the theme of freedom from not just her father, but from the world’s expectations of her as a young woman… like, sure, you might’ve experienced some of these things growing up if you’re a guy, but the level of universality that rod mc’s story is able to reach for other women reading the story, because she is a woman raised with expectations coming from a patriarchal society, could not have been achieved if she had been a guy.

and that kind of pressure is specifically tied to one’s identity as a woman, particularly as a woman of colour. even if you are, say, gay or trans, unless you have at some point experienced the world as what other people view as a woman, you will not have experienced the pressures that i was talking about in my original post. (i’m not trans and could only speak from my own experiences about womanhood, so i apologise if any of this comes off as offensive)

as a daughter, especially as an eldest or only daughter, from the moment you are born you are simply held to much higher standards than men are. i’m not saying rod mc is a perfect representation of all the experiences women, esp woc, have had to go through, but as far as choices mcs go she’s pretty fucking close. the fact is, the way her character is written means she represents a lot of these experiences, particularly wrt familial expectations & relationships, for the women reading her story.

and we don’t get to see that very often, so of fucking course we’d get defensive when we play this story, see ourselves in the main character, get emotional over the way her personal growth is written, and then see people telling us our enjoyment of this story is shallow and stupid. even other women who are criticising us–just because you personally don’t relate to the rod mc’s story doesn’t give you the right to tell us we’re dumb for liking it. 

i am NOT saying rod is without its faults, especially wrt how it handles lgbt characters. mona should’ve been a more integral character from the start, and they could’ve easily had another female love interest but they chose not to. this post & its replies explain that really well. 

but a lot of the 'hot’ takes i’ve seen about ride or die have been cold as fuck, because they’re unable to discuss it without making massive blanket statements about its readers (only straight ppl enjoy the book, we’re all homophobes for not wanting a male mc, etc.). plus, if you’re not a woman, your criticisms of this book will often sound disingenuous, because a lot of the time you’ll sound like you’re coming from a place of entitlement, not genuine concern. i’ve seen so many posts by people who aren’t women talking about how rod isn’t beneficial for wlw, how the writers don’t care about gay people, as if we don’t have more than 2 fucking braincells to be able to piece that together on our own. of fucking course that shit is going to sound insincere when you’re not even a wlw, and your main concern is obviously that you can’t play the story as a man. of course, when it comes to books like big sky country or the elementalists or perfect match, etc., they either don’t criticise them or only criticise them when it inconveniences them, and even then are able to look at it through a much fairer lens, because they can actually play as a man in those books. (yes!!!! i’m salty!!!!!)

being not white, not straight, and/or not cis doesn’t give you the right to make blanket statements about people who do enjoy the book, or to act like your opinions are objectively more correct than others’ are. on the other hand, even if you are attracted to men, even if you can relate to the mc’s struggles, you are not obligated to like ride or die. in fact, i personally find those posts talking about how 'ride or die is the best book out right now and you’re all just being salty’ annoying. nobody has to be made to feel bad because they don’t like it! but if people talking about how they like it truly does bother you, the block button is right there. so is the blacklist tool. that’s literally just how fandom works. not everyone is going to have the same opinions as you, and that’s fine.

i don’t have a fancy conclusion to tie all of this together so if any of it doesn’t make sense deal with it i guess lmao

#here it is the fucking behemoth of a post that most ppl wont read #hope yall are having a nice night i just got my period so i'm not #playchoices #ride or die #stfu nisa #long post #long fucking post

[thehollowprince]

Hey, it’s the “coding” anon here and honestly that answer to my question was excellent and the exact reason I come to your blog. I would absolutely love to hear you go on about the fetishization of m/m relationships!

This has been sitting in my inbox for over a week, and I want to apologize. I'm sorry for taking so long to get to this one, but I'm overworked at the moment. I've been pulling 60+ hour work weeks, by myself and I haven't had off since the first of December, so I'm a little tired. But I'm here and I'm ready to murder this bitch of a subject.

For starters, and for context, in case anyone who sees this doesn't follow my blog or, if you do and don't really pay attention, I am a gay man, so a lot of this comes from my own personal experience.

Now, onward my fandom soldiers.

M|M Fetishization & Objectification

I've only been super active within fandom spaces for the last couple of years. Before that, I just scrolled through Tumblr and reblogged gifsets and fluffy headcanons and whatnot, but even then I noticed a trend in fandoms that made me uncomfortable. That trend was the overabundance of gay men (chatacters) in fandom works, especially when there either weren't any gay men in that show or book or whatever.

I'm not at all saying we need less of that. I want and need more gay characters in the things I watch and read. That's actually one of the criteria I look for before I start a new show, or a book series or comics. I want to see myself represented in the media I consume, even if it is only this one tiny piece of who I am. But the problem for me arose when I saw all these fan works and headcanons and gifsets and thesis length metas about gay or bi male characters that were neither of those things in their original source material.

The biggest examples of this occured in fairly popular shows that I loved at one point, but do to a combination of bad writing and then the horrible fandom, drove me to actively dislike and avoid them. And that's always a sad thing, when you end up losing the love you had for something because others just won't let you enjoy it as it is.

Those two examples are Teen Wolf and Supernatural.

For years I watched people go on and on and on and on about Stiles Stilinski and Dean Winchester and how they were bisexual and so on and so forth.

There's nothing wrong with headcanoning a character as gay or bisexual, especially when those characters are severely lacking on screen and on paper. The problem arose when the fandom at large started to ignore the ACTUAL gay or bisexual characters that are in these shows and focus solely on their headcanons as the only representation in the show.

To start with Teen Wolf, we had, in the first season, an openly gay character that everybody in the school loved, that being Danny Mahealani. This character was introduced as gay from the very start, but oddly enough, there is almost no large fandom meta or fics or anything about him. In fact, a lot of his traits and qualities ended up transferred to Stiles, such as his intelligence and overall popularity. Hell, even Danny's attraction to Derek was stolen and transferred to him. These aren't things that Stiles is overall known for in the actual canon. He's clumsy and socially awkward and on the outskirts of the school like Scott (the main character) and has been obsessed (to the point of being considered a stalker) with one girl since elementary school, but somehow, in fandom, Stiles is suddenly the genius polyglot queer with severe depression who has a crush on the broody muscular werewolf who just wants somebody to love him.

Fandom created this portrayal of the character that didn't exist anywhere in the fandom except for his appearance. The reason I saw behind this was twofold. 1: fangirls (fandom is mostly female) want to see two "hot" guys kiss and get it on because they get off to it, much in the same way that straight men get off to lesbian porn. 2: Stiles (or any of these headcanoned characters) becomes a sort of self insert.

What I mean by that second one is that women and girls find a male character that's not "too masculine", usually kind of gangly or skinny, somewhat on the effeminate side. Someone that they can project their ideas and insecurities and so forth onto so that they can that pursue that relationship with the hunky manly man that they want to bang.

You may be asking yourself, "Why don't they just use one of the female characters as a self insert?" and I'm here to tell you that I have neither the time nor the experience to go into detail about internalized misogyny and how effects the way women do almost everything, even watching and interpreting their media.

But the reason they chose the male character is that, years ago, during the dark days of FF.net there was a lot of self insert OCs that infiltrated almost every level of fanfiction. Which caused the fandom gatekeepers to rear out of their hibernation and just shame anyone who tried to introduce an Original Character to this already beautiful world and ruin it with their lusts. Thus the OCs slowly disappeared and identifying with the male sidekick was born. And this is generally where we get the whole "my smol gay son!" bullshit. (side note: please keep in mind that 75% of shows are male characters and their problems, which is another cause for female fans to identify solely with men.)

So, for years, I watched Danny, and then his boyfriend Ethan, being shoved aside in fandom spaces so that the fans could focus Sterek (Stiles and Derek) despite the fact that both characters were stared to be heterosexual and that, on screen, they expressed nothing but mutual dislike for one another, if not outright hatred. This got so bad that Sterek, the crack ship whose members had no romantic or sexual interactions whatsoever, managed to beat (by a very large margin) actual gay ships from both this show and others in a fan poll. It got even worse when the character of Danny was written off the show (with no explanation) and we were introduced to the character of Mason.

Mason Hewitt was everything that fandom!Stiles was. He was smart and funny and openly gay and crushing on a hot werewolf. He even did the research that the fandom loved to attribute to Stiles, literally everything that the fandom had Stiles doing in fanon, but somehow the love for him (Mason) wasn't that big of a note in the fandom. I mean, Mason was even a major plot point of season five and the pack's mission to stop the Beast, but i heard nothing but cricket chirps from the fandom.

You'd think that after Stiles was written out of the show for the last season that maybe Mason will get some love now, right?

Wrong!

I didn't think it was possible to get any worse, but the fandom proved me wrong. Because instead of focusing all their pent up energy on Mason and his boyfriend, Corey, who had a number of cute moments in that final season, these fans focused on another crack ship that had no basis anywhere except in their fantasies. That ship being Thiam, which is based, once again, around two characters who actively dislike, if not outright hate, each other and even physically assault one another. But no, that apparently is a display of affection by someone who is emotionally stunted and just needs love to blossom and be his true self.

You notice how often the fetishization of homosexuality (even if only imagined) intersects with woobification?

You'll notice, if you look at Danny and Mason, that they're both POC, with Danny being brown (Hawai'ian) and Mason being black. Now, as I've said before on this blog multiple times, I am the Whittest White Man to ever White, so I don't have any qualifications to talk about fandom racism, so I'm just going to leave that little nugget there for you to think about and interpret how you will.

Moving on to Supernatural...

Before we start with this one, understand that I have not watched this show outside of an episode here and there since season eight, because I realized that no, this show wasn't going to get any better, so if any of this is contradictory to what has happened over the past six seasons (god, this show needs to die!) I do apologize.

Dean Winchester... I never really liked this character, especially as the show went on and I started to actively dislike and then, hate him. So it was annoying not being able to go into any aspect of the Supernatural fandom without coming across a post about Dean and his issues or his Bi sexiness or how his brother was mean to him.

Also, people, understand that this wasn't a new revelation for me. My dislike for Dean and the fandom's obsession with making him bisexual just so they could hook him up with Cas wasn't an overnight decision. I was there...

I was there at the Beginning, when this show first aired, when the ONLY constant characters on this show were Sam and Dean. I endured the hellfire that was Wincest and its infection of almost the entire fandom. Like, that right there, that was one of the most extreme cases of m|m fetishization I've ever seen, because the fandom needed to get off to two guys being together so badly that they turned to actual brothers for want of any other male character.

That's why Destiel immediately became so popular, because here was another guy that we saw with semi regularity that wasn't rated to the Winchesters, obviously they were meant to ship them.

Now, you may be asking yourself, "I thought this bitch was going to talk about gay fetishization, not his dislike for one character?" to which I'll just say I very easily go off tangent. But all of that is relevant because, come one of these later seasons, there was a scene where Dean was at a bar and the (male) bartender hit on him, and he didn't react negatively or homophobic.

Oh, my God, I watched my dash and the tags explode in post after post, meta after meta, about how Bi Dean was canon confirmed! Now he and Cas will HAVE to be together, because its canon that Dean likes guys. and Cas is an angel, who doesn't follow human sexual limitations, and... blah, blah, blah.

Cut to a few years later, and we're introduced to a character named Max Banes, a witch and hunter, who is openly gay and flirts with Sam in his first appearance. Where were all of his metas and fanfics and headcanons? Granted, he only appeared in two episodes, but I have watched people in this and other fandoms build mountains our of molehills, going on and on about how two male characters weren't actually straight and how they were destined to be together because the once wore similar style shirts a couple of seasons apart, or because of a carnation in a jacket pocket that signified love via the Victorian flower code (or something like that), or how the wallpaper of that room they shared a scene in was a subtle clue to their true desire for each other, etc.

And I'm not exaggerating there, those are actual examples I've seen in fandoms over the years.

But back to Max, why is it that he was left along the wayside, despite fitting most of the criteria that fandoms love in their m|m ships while Dean had entire thesis level posts about that time he shared a glance with Castiel or he let a bartender hit on him and not get upset?

And its not just these two shows, not by a long shot. If you were to go into literally any fandom of a certain size or bigger, you will come across fans putting two straight characters together because of "the chemistry" they have. Even if those characters are confirmed to be straight - especially if those characters are confirmed to be straight. Because when these loud fans don't get their crack ship that they rub one out to, they scream queerbaiting and homophobia and oppression, harassing the actors and producers and directors and writers.

Here are some others that just pop to the front of my mind...

Asher Millstone from How To Get Away With Murder (saw him shipped with Connor a lot, despite Connor's actual boyfriend)

Sherlock Holmes and John Watson from BBC's Sherlock

Tony Stark from Marvel comics (all because of one panel where he said "ladies and gents" when he announced he was off the market

Literally any male character in the MCU, which is his we get the things like Stucky and Stony that permeate the fandom on almost every level (and some leeway is given here because of the MCU's lack of wueer characters)

Klaus Mikaelson and Stefan Salvatore from The Vampire Diaries/The Originals (honestly, I was surprised that people in the TVD fandom weren't immediately all over Josh and Lucas, because they're literally everything that fans want and use in their headcanon gays)

Kol Mikaelson and Jeremg Gilbert, also from TVD

Elia and Filippo from Skam Italia (despite there being, once again, actual gay characters on this show. Hell, the entire second season was dedicated to a character coming out of the closet and being with a guy)

Etc.

I could go on and on but then this post would seem infinite.

Closing thoughts, please keep in mind that I am just one guy and that my opinions don't represent everyone in fandom spaces. But also bear in mind, that my frustrations are well founded and valid from my own experiences in the fandom.

My sexuality and the fact that I'm attracted to men is not a toy for a bunch of sexually repressed fangirls who think two guys being together is hot.

#long post #not sorry at all #rant #m|m fetishization #gay objectification #creepy fangirls