With credit towards @jhaernyl who shared some fantastic doctor/surgeon humor with me that ended up leading to.....
The ZoLaw AU No One Asked For...
Where Law is a surgeon on some small Northern Island.
Recently Transfered Nurse Sabo: Excuse me, sir, there is a man here? Roronoa Zoro. He's apparently suffered a small injury.
Law: *sighs* Let me guess, that loudmouthed robot made him come in.
Nurse Sabo: No, he-
Law: Robo-ya's wife then. At least one of them is sensible.
Sabo: He came alone, sir, said he was training and suddenly felt something was off balance. I couldn't -
Law: *Going completely still*
Law: *Turning and grabbing the poor new trainee by the shoulders* QUICK! Answer me this: did he finish his training?
Sabo: Err, no, he said he was worried and he came right in so-
Law: BEPO GRAB THE CRASH CART! WE HAVE A CODE GREEN!!!
Law rooming down the whole hospital.
Law: WE CANT LET HIM GET AWAY HE IS SERIOUSLY INJURED *Pointing dramatically as Shachi and Penguin nod to one another, both grab jing gurneys and blocking off the ER exit*
Zoro: *Raising an eyebrow, though also still suspiciously holding onto his arm* Honestly, Torao it was no big deal, I feel fine now.
Law: *sighs* Zoro-ya... *looking down at the floor.*
*....And there is just a trail of blood on the floor leading to Zoro who is holding into his arm which he has (roughly) bandaged on.*
Zoro: What?
Law: .... Zoro-ya, give me your arm. Now.
Zoro: Torao, I told you, its fine, I just needed some ba-
Law: Give. Me. Your. Arm.
Zoro: Tch *hands over his stupid traitor arm*
Trainee Nurse Rebecca: *passes out cold*
Law: Zoro-ya, what has Law said about cutting off your own limbs!?
Zoro: But you always fix it and it was easier than-
Law: That's not the point Zoro-ya! You can't just cut off limbs whenever it's easy!
Sabo: So are they always like this?
Older HCA Ikkaku, who is used to these idiots: *holds out popcorn bucket to share*
No words. Her show is on.
Sabo: But none of the TVs are-Ooooh
HCA Ikkaku: I said shhh!
Ikkaku: Roronoa just mentioned Doctor Trafalgar just being sour over Zoro's ankle stitches. That ALWAYS leads to drama.
2nd HCA aka Perona: *appearing from nowhere to grab a handful of popcorn* Doctor Trafalgar hates those scars. Everyone in the hospital - depth, probably the whole town - knows as much. Law doesn't exactly make it a secret.
Like catching someone up on a your favorite long running television show.
Only its live and one of the people is holding a detached bloody arm.
Ikkaku: *ignoring the wide eyes stare from young nurse* Ooh, Looks like Roronoa is going to let him attach it.
Perona: *giggling* Doctor Trafalgar is gonna give him such a hard time! Horohoro, I'll bet he wouldn't even call for the anesthesiologist!
Law: AND DON'T BOTHER GETTING CESEAR! WE'RE DOING THIS NOW!
Ikkaku: Yo, new guy, stop just standing around and get your pal there off the floor.
Perona: And hurry up, we doesn't want to miss when Roronoa finally smiles. Doctor Trafalgar goes bright red! It's SOOO cute! 💕
She's right, too, as anyone whose worked there long enough will attest. It's the best part of the whole show.
The trainee and new transfer are not sure about all this, but the employees who have worked there awhile seem to be.... enjoying it?
Law: WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU, IDIOT!? WHAT IF I WASN'T HERE TODAY!? AND DON'T JUST ACT LIKE IT WAS A MINOR PAIN!!!
Zoro: Hey! Last time, when Robin made me come (damn noisy witch) and I showed the lady what was wrong, she passed out and you got all-
Law: Because you can't just show our poor check in team a gaping chest wound, Zoro-ya!
Law: *eyebrow twitching* Still! You're supposed to mention when you've CUT OFF YOUR OWN ARM!
It doesn't seem fair for Torao is getting so upset with him, especially since this time Zoro came in without even being made to. Oh, and he knew it wouldn't be a problem! Torao is the best surgeon in the world, Zoro knew he'd be able to fix him.
Sure enough.....
Zoro: Oye, Torao! Look at that! It's good as new! *Bright, sharp smile* See, ai knew there was a reason we kept you around!
Law: *immediately frozen*
HCA Ikkaku: *nudges nurse* Wait for it...
Law: *frozen*
HCA Perona: *holding onto the trainee Nurse too tightly, eyes wide* Here it comes....
Law: *whole face turns bright pink, pulling his surgery mask up as if hiding* Whatever you idiot! Now, stop getting yourself hurt! I'm not sewing on any other limbs for another month at least, I swear!
Zoro: You are the best, Torao *smile getting even brighter*
Perona: 💕 Ahh, aren't they so cute? 💕
Rebecca: Are they?
Sabo: Or are they just scary?
Zoro: *still with that sharp smile as he twists his arm, practicing all his sword moves. Absolutely glowing with pride* Not even a scar, doc. You really are the best.
Law: Of course I didn't leave a scar! I'm not some useless sack of flesh like that Hogsback asshole. I would never leave you with an unwanted mark.
Zoro: *still studying his arm, smile becoming softer, warmer* You know... I wouldn't mind a little mark. So long as it was from you.
And Law's mask gets pulled up so high he's practically got his eyes covered.
(It's both.)
(They're both adorable and scary.)
57 notes
·
View notes
Sliding into your DMs for the OF au 🫡 Soooo, they obviously like each other physically. But can they communicate about what they like in bed? Like, are there things that maybe especially Marc does or doesn't feel comfortable doing (because of his job and stuff) and then they talk about it and Vale is all caring and stuff and Marc feels at home with him?
Vale calls him a slut once in bed.
It’s clearly directly out of some porno Vale has seen (Vale has decades of porn-watching under his belt, something that is slightly intimidating and also hilarious to Marc). He’s obviously trying to be sexy; Marc does love it when Vale is dirty and runs his mouth, so it’s not necessarily surprising that they have arrived at this point.
It’s decidedly un-sexy to Marc, though.
He jerks his head back away from where Vale is kissing him, and inadvertently smacks his head against the headboard.
“Ow! Fuck!” he gasps, grabbing the back of his head.
Vale hisses in sympathy, gently cradling Marc’s face in his hands and turning his head to look at him. He clearly doesn’t find any blood (Marc didn’t hit himself that hard) but the moment is still broken. Marc winces as Vale adjusts so he’s sitting beside Marc, and he continues checking him over.
“What happened?” he asks.
Marc winces.
“Please don’t call me names.”
Vale’s eyes widen, and Marc can tell he’s immediately feeling guilty.
“I’m sorry,” he says, immediately.
Marc tucks himself against Vale. He needs to be touching him when they have this conversation, and he’d prefer not to have to look his boyfriend in the eye as he admits these things.
“I’ve only ever been called a slut and a whore by people who are angry with me or being creepy. Mostly it’s from men who try to get me to do things and get rejected– then they call me a whore or other mean names. I don’t like it. I don’t want you to ever call me that.”
Vale rubs Marc’s arm, holding him close, and presses a kiss to his head.
“Sorry,” Marc says as an afterthought, suddenly overcome with the feeling that he might be disappointing Vale. Maybe he could get used to it, he thinks, if it would make Vale happy. He opens his mouth to voice the thought but Vale speaks first.
“Thank you for telling me. I won’t ever call you that again, amore. Is there anything else you don’t want me to say? Or anything you want me to say?”
Marc is quiet for a moment.
“I like it when you tell me nice things. I like it when you call me pretty and tell me I’m perfect. I like to be good for you. I like it when you say I’m yours.”
He truly just wants to be a good boy for Vale. He hopes that Vale won’t be disappointed with him.
He feels him smile against his hair.
“You are a good boy for me,” Vale says. “You’re beautiful. You’re perfect.”
He kisses his forehead again, and Marc wiggles closer in satisfaction.
“Thank you,” he says, quietly.
“You’re mine,” Vale says. “It’s my job to keep you happy.”
Marc finally looks up at Vale again, and Vale presses a kiss to his lips.
The moment that was ruined earlier picks up again, and pretty soon Marc has Vale on his back and his dick down his throat.
He looks down Vale’s skinny torso to meet his eyes, where his head is thrown back against a pillow.
“Fuck, Marc,” Vale groans.
Marc bobs his head, using his hands to pump the base of Vale’s cock that he isn’t reaching with his mouth. He swallows as much as he can around Vale’s cock, willing his gag reflex down. Marc doesn’t actually have that much experience with blowjobs; he is actually less experienced in in-person sex than Vale is.
“You’re so perfect. I love your perfect little throat. You’re choking on me and you’re still doing so well,” Vale encourages.
The praise goes straight to Marc’s cock, and he whines around Vale and rocks his hips against the bed. Vale seems to take notice of how he’s affecting Marc, and he continues to run his mouth.
“Look at you, humping the mattress. Are you going to get off on sucking me off? You’re so perfect for me,” he coos. “Such a sexy, beautiful boy. So many men have seen you, but only I get to watch you like this. I’m the only one who gets to see your perfect mouth wrapped around my cock.”
Marc whines and picks up the pace. He accidentally takes Vale in too deep, and pulls off with a choked little gag. He looks up at Vale with watery eyes.
He bows his head to suck Vale’s cock again, but Vale stops him with a hand on his cheek.
“You are so beautiful,” he says, looking directly into Marc's eyes. It makes Marc want to cry a little bit, seeing how earnest Vale is.
Marc thrusts his hips against the bed again, and Vale laughs. He gently guides Marc’s mouth back onto his cock, and Marc resumes sucking with renewed vigor.
Vale moves his hand, and Marc grips his wrist. He guides Vale’s hand to the back of his head, and groans as Vale tangles his fingers in his hair.
Marc can’t control his thrusts against the bed. His cock is too hard, and the praise from Vale has drained the brains right out of him. He’s close, and he whines and picks up the pace.
At this point he’s basically holding Vale in his mouth while he focuses on his own release.
“That’s it. Come for me, Marc. Rub yourself off. You’re so perfect, so beautiful.”
Marc thrusts one, two, three more times before he’s shooting cum across the bedsheets with a cry.
He sucks Vale’s cock deep into his throat, and Vale holds Marc’s head in place as he shoots his own cum down Marc’s throat. Marc feels Vale’s cock pulse as he comes, and he groans and sucks him through it.
Marc crawls his way back up the bed, flopping against Vale.
“Okay?” he asks, voice rough from Vale’s cock in his throat.
“Perfect,” Vale says gently, pressing a tender kiss to his lips.
29 notes
·
View notes
and another very small, very minor entry on the list of Things I'm Getting Just a Tiny Little Bit Miffy About Seeing Repeated (Not Angry Just Ever So Slightly Annoyed)TM:
dnd elves do, in fact, mature at the same rate humans do. they're not "like children" or "not considered full adults" until they hit 100- not to anyone other than other, older elves.
like I get where the thought comes from, I fully understand it, I've read many of the source materials myself, I've read Mordenkainen's and see where the misunderstanding comes from, but... to a human, or a tiefling, or anyone else shorter-lived than an elf, a 50-, 60-, 90-year-old elf is just like a 50-, 60-, 90-year-old of their own race would be. they just look much younger than their age, and act in accordance with their personality, which is.... much less tied to someone's age than many may think. (I mean, have you never met a 50-year-old who seems just staggeringly immature? a 20-year-old who is wiser than their years would allow? have you never been to a retail establishment???????)
it's only the other elves who view a younger one as emotionally immature, and that's mainly because they have yet to bury their first generation of friends and loved ones: something a shorter-lived person only has to do once, while elves may very well go through several cycles of that in one lifetime. They have also not yet had their Drawing of the Veil, when they stop being able to access primal memories, memories of their soul's previous lives, but it's mainly the "all my once-powerful and vibrant friends are now frail and dying from old age, and yet here I remain, as young, strong, and beautiful as the day they met me, untouched by the inexorable crawl of time, what is mortality, what is death" thing.
if the people of Faerun in general thought of a 40-year-old elf as immature, as if they were a child, Astarion would have just patently not been an appointed civil administrator and judicial officer (which is what a magistrate is) 200 years ago. like he could have of course been lying when he said that that's what he was, but taking it as the once-truth, nobody would have let someone they see as a child fill such a position of responsibility. It was, however, a perfectly mundane thing for a learned adult man, such as he was, to do. (what he may or may not have done with the power he allegedly had, the kind of person he was, and whether letting him have power was the right move overall, is pretty much completely irrelevant at this juncture. corrupt officials exist regardless of age, just look at the judicial system of any country today.)
an older elf like Halsin, their maturity is not just on a different level, it's measured by a different metric than that of a shorter-lived character.
it's hard to accurately roleplay or grasp something like this with our human minds, none of us have ever spoken to a 300-year-old after all, but.... a 100-year-old elf is not a "young adult", unless you're an elf yourself. If you're a human, they're just... an adult.
28 notes
·
View notes