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#okay but that is literally how it always goes
xenteaart · 2 days
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contemplating mediocrity
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pairing: idol!chan x reader (gn but written with f!reader in mind) word count: 0,9k genre/warnings: er, hurt to comfort, use of "baby", self-doubt, honestly not much else, pretty pg-13 author's note: heavily inspired by @withleeknow 's last seungmin fic, i couldn't handle the angst and needed to comfort myself fkdjfkdjfk. also it kinda made me reflect on why it hurt so bad so i guess this fic is a little support and comfort thingy for everyone who might not be feeling "enough". before reading you might wanna check out the inspo fic itself <3
“baby? what’s wrong?” 
ah, he’s always too quick to notice. 
you take your eyes off the laptop and put a video of 3racha’s festival performance on pause.
“nothing. you guys did a wonderful job, truly. ’m just… contemplating my mediocrity.”
“what?” he’s more just taken aback than anything else but you read it as irritation.
it’s one of those days when everything feels extra sensitive, even the things you can deal with well on a regular day.
“what? chris, baby, i’m not being self-deprecating, it’s just a fact. i truly could not be more proud of you, but sometimes i just can’t shake off the feeling of not doing enough compared to you. 
it warms my heart to know that you are so so loved and respected, it really does. but, i guess.. it’s a little humbling too? i haven’t achieved anything nearly as grand and i don’t have thousands of people cheering for me after i do as much as breathe. which you totally deserve, by the way, i’m not saying you don’t.”
long silence follows as chris frowns, carefully crafting his next response while you’re already starting to regret you opened your mouth at all. maybe, some things should be kept to yourself. maybe, it’s not really necessary to share every dark thought that comes to your pained mind after midnight. maybe, it’s safer for your relationship to just move those conversations to a cozy zoom meeting with your therapi—
“that’s a skewed perception of our dynamic though, baby.” 
oh, shit. he has the look. you know this one too well, and it says “i’m not letting this slide and we’re talking this through”. 
“how so?” you feel tired and discouraged already, mostly annoyed at yourself for making your boyfriend come up with some nonsense points to make you feel better now. 
“don’t put me on a pedestal. firstly, i think you’re forgetting how many people there actually are behind what we’re doing. daily. i’m talking all the staff and production teams, makeup, hair, clothes, art direction, schedule management. everything. there is literally a whole division for us that makes us look the way we look and helps us do what we love.”
you stay quiet, blinking slowly and pursing your lips together. 
“which isn’t to say we don’t work hard or that we haven’t achieved anything, but it wouldn’t have been possible without all that help. 
secondly, in my daily life i’m just a guy, baby. literally just a guy who loves music. nothing fancy,” chan gives you one of those wide soft smiles, and you hear your heart break a little. 
“yeah, well, not every guy who loves music has the amount of awards and recognition you do, baby.”
“okay, where is this truly going?”
there it goes.
“sometimes i worry i just can’t match it? that you’ll get bored of me because i’m not over the top extraordinary or... whatever.”
you feel stupid. 
“so you think i’m with you for your so-called achievements?”
you can’t come up with a response, so he continues, gently hugging you from behind and resting his chin on your shoulder. his favorite way of making you feel loved. 
“i’m with you because you’re my sense of normalcy, baby. you calm my mind when it’s racing too fast. you’re my safe little harbour where i can find peace after hectic schedules and loud noises and crowds. you ease the weight i carry on my shoulders every day.” 
you stay silent, focusing on the feeling of his warm breath on your cheek. the tip of his nose is touching your skin lightly.
“you love the regular channie. you kiss my puffy swollen face in the mornings, and those kisses make me wonder if i’m actually not that bad without all the makeup on after all. you laugh at my jokes and cuddle me when i get needy. you listen to my darkest nastiest thoughts and never judge me for feeling whatever it is i’m feeling. 
what i’m getting at is that... i can just be me around you, you know? that’s why i’m still here. and i feel so proud to have a partner with a big warm heart and a strong mind, honored to be cared for by someone so neat and beautiful in the most mundane things.
do you really think i’d measure my love and respect for you by something like fame or... some noble achievements?”
“i don’t know,” you sound even more confused than at the beginning of this suddenly serious conversation, caught off guard by chan’s words, but mostly — his tenderness towards you. his patience and the way he's willing to spell it out for you if you're feeling too low to see the whole picture yourself.
"well, then i’m telling you. that is just not the case. you’re already everything i could ask for, baby. someone passionate, honest, reliable, loving and kind. someone who holds my hands through the hard days and makes me laugh on the good days. simple as that."
the pressure on your chest is slowly fading as chan's words finally sinking in, finding their ways into your system and rendering as the truth. the ache isn't completely gone but you know it will be in the morning, when the sunrise washes the rest of your worries away.
for now, you turn around in chris's embrace and hide your nose in the crook of his neck, simply breathing and enjoying the lingering scent of his soap. skin to skin.
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astrologylunadream · 22 hours
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What They're Missing With You! 💅🎀✨️ (Pick a card/Tarot love reading)
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Hii it's Lunadream💋💋💋 We're gonna see exactly what that person on your mind is missing out on with you!😎💖 Let me hype you all up right now🙌 hope you find your message🎀
(Some piles may contain 18+⚠️)
Notice: Only take what resonates because the most important thing is your own judgement!♡ If anything doesn't resonate, don't worry! It's not your message right now <3 (Entertainment purpose only. All rights reserved)
Now, shall we begin~? ^w^ Think of the person on your mind, and pick whichever pile that fits the energy you're feeling~😘💖
Pile 1💥
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Pile 2🛍
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Pile 3💄
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Pile 4💸
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Take your time and choose carefully with the heart~♡
On to the readings —> 💕
Pile 1💥
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Sign energy: Shoulders, Leader, Ring, Drive, Year, Sagittarius, Neptune, South node, 6th house, Uranus,👠📞📆🧚‍♂️
🎀Your person's energy: Wow this is some off the wall energy for your person, there is a LOT going on for you both right now.😵‍💫 Could be a connection that is very confusing, unusual or seemingly unstable! This is someone you're not quite sure about, like they're giving mixed signals. They have a lot of green flags yet also many red flags🤨🚩 Signs are Sagittarius, Pisces, Virgo and Aquarius. There is some neptune or uranus aspecting their chart, may have neptune-uranus conjunct for some. This person is very driven by their work, they take a lot of weight on their shoulders that's what I'm hearing.🤯 They appear reliable and detail oriented to others. Time is very important to them, I think they tend to prioritize their work more than other things. But there is a spontaneous spark in this person, could be for better or for worse. Because I'm seeing, they give intense focus to their responsibilities, but they also fail to give their attention to the other things they don't realize will affect them. Like seriously this person is responsible with some things, and completely irresponsible with other things.😫✋️ 17 may be significant, also I'm hearing this person "calls the shots". They radiate energy of a leader in their environment, people may rely on this person a lot. There is a very busy vibe here, like this person is always making work for themselves somehow.💬🤳💼 They tend to hyperfocus and tendency to be perfectionist. They might be on their phone a lot, getting calls or always checking the time.⌚️👀 You may feel like this person is brushing you off in a way, not giving you time or overlooking you completely😭 They seem very unaware of you or the way this connection is going, because they're so absorbed in their own tasks. Some of my pile 1's are not in contact with them, contacting them may be difficult.📵😳 Yeah this person is just caught up with a lot, they may even have a lot of stress about everything. I'm hearing "tight schedule" and I feel like this person isn't able to fully listening to you right now, like anything you say just goes into one ear and out the other👂🙄🔇 Their energy is just so chaotic and disorganized but they think they can handle anything that gets thrown at them, which is admirable yet also very difficult to manage them😔
💋What they're missing with you: Heart, Endless, Perfect, 6th house, Skin, Cancer, Water, Scorpio, 6th house, 2nd house,🫱🍳🤫💛 Omg okay alright Pile 1 you are so perfect!!! It's in the cards lmao seriously you are beautiful like you are such perfection idk how else to describe it haha🙈💖 Also with the 6th house coming out twice which is virgo energy and that just screams PERFECTION!! Lol I love that because I said your person was a perfectionist and like, yeah, you're literally that. Mkay💋💞💅✨️ Your skin is so beautiful and it's like one of your best features, and like your person could be touching that beautiful amazing skin but nooo yeah THEYRE MISSING OUT📣🙌 Also my pile 1's you have the biggest heart, so sweet and gentle anyone would wish to feel your love❤️ When you get emotional and show that side of you, It's honestly so hot😭 Like your person has gotta know that, you are so cute and attractive. Also this is spicy like, they're totally missing out on your sensual side😉❤️‍🔥 Like you're a complete hottie for real please don't doubt that pile 1, you are hot, you are sensually attractive, you are gorgeous.✨️ Your body is perfect, that is what the cards are yelling in my face😂 Your person is missing out on your kind genuine love and magnetic beauty🌹💕 You may be good at cooking or your person is really missing out on you two cooking together like they WISH😩🙏 Honestly your person is missing out on devouring you like please this isn't a spicy pac but it's getting pretty spicy in here🥵 I love love love this pile's energy, because this is just letting pile 1 know they are so amazing. If that person is an ex or you two were intimate, they miss it so much with you. Like they can't get it out of their head obsessively and dwell about how they can't have that again.🙈🖤 You make others secretly obsessed and crave you. You're so pretty omg and you are like a ray of sunshine☀️ Some of my pile 1's have that chest your person wish they could have their hands all over tbh😏❤️‍🔥 Seriously, pile 1 you are so hot never forget it. Your person hates themselves for not realizing exactly HOW much of an sensual god/godess you are. Also you don't have to say anything at all and still be irresistible🔥 Everyone would want a piece of you, I think your person's got to know that~😉 Your person is missing out on that real true love they could experience with you, like you are the only one who is so loving and caring like they will never find that like they can in you. They won't find another sweet loving angel😇 with the body of a devil😈❤️‍🔥 hehe pile 1 you are so lucky, you have the ability to make others secretly fall for you. Your person would get SO jealous thinking of others getting to touch you and have you🫣❤️‍🔥 You are beauty in it's purest form, so lovely and charming. My pile 1's are intensely attractive and also your voice gives that person chills because yeah you are hot af💋
📞Messages from your person: Trust me, You make me jealous, I want to kiss you against the wall, You make me feel special, Believe in us, Don't underestimate me, Things aren't going well, It's a sign. Extra cards: Pessimist, Top, Honest, Energy, Ankles, Leo, Sun, Uranus, 11th house, Eros (Yeah your person has low self esteem because you turn them on so much😭 Because you're so hot and emotionally fulfilling. You seem so special to them, they know you shine pile 1🥺💖)
Thank you my pile 1's! If you feel this resonated, you may tap the heart to claim this message!💌
I hope you enjoyed your reading! ʚ(。˃ ᵕ ˂ )ɞ If you did be sure to let me know pile 1 with the boom! emoji~💥 Pile 1 you are gorgeous😍 Thanks for scrolling through, Hugs hugs hugs!! See you in the next reading👠💕✨️
Pile 2🩷
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Sign energy: Artist, True, Sunshine, Need, Competition, Earth, 7th house, Pluto, 11th house, 5th house,🛬🤪🔫🎱
🎀Your person's energy: Alright so for my pile 2's person, we have a very creative bright energy here. This person appears very kind, attractive and lovely, signs are Libra, Scorpio, Aquarius, Leo vibes, there may be specific 7th/5th/11th house placements, earth signs. There is charming energy to them. This person may be an extrovert/social butterfly type, outgoing and kind. I think this person has people pleasing tendencies, relationships with other people matter a lot to them. I am getting a sort of psychic vampire energy oml like, this person may feed off other people's positive energy👀🧠🔋 I don't think they necessarily steal others good energy but it's more like being around other people makes them feel better. They thrive on compliments I'm hearing. They have a strong need to connect with others in order to feel okay.💬🥲 It's possible that some of you are in the same friend group with this person or friends of friends situation for some. You may be jealous of who all they hang out with, because there is a little bit of envy in this pile for whatever reason. Maybe you feel like they're happy without you or having fun with other people.😢💔 For some of you this person's friends might be jealous or bad perception of you, omg I'm getting toxic friends for some in this pile. Your person is artistic and entertaining, they can be very funny sometimes😋💫 Some of you are obsessed with them, and want to date this person. Others may be jealous or slightly competitive with this person. I'm hearing "who does he/she think they are?" Lol like mean girls energy😝👑🎀✨️ Your person may have creative hobbies and many talents, I'm hearing they drive you crazy🫣 There is definitely some hate/love going on for some of my pile 2's. You may feel like they single you out low-key or might hate you secretly😭 There is a huge enemies or lovers vibe here, like "what do they think of me?? Do they want me gone or are they into me?" Kinda thing🫣‼️ I feel like this person has the sweetest smile but it's kinda off putting to my pile 2's. They are like a ray of sunshine but you're wondering why you're the only person getting sun burnt by them.😂 A lot of people like this person, maybe you hate that everyone loves them and wants to be around them 24/7🙄 Like they are everyones bestie/person and it kinda hurts!
💋What they're missing with you: Endurance, Devience, Enemy, Name, Scars, Mars, Capricorn, Vertex, 5th house, 2nd house,☯️🆚️🦉⛵️ Okay I can't seem to calm down with this pile LOL like my blood pressure is high for some reason, I think that's how some of you feel from this person😫🌋 Anyway this is interesting so enemy did come out which I think is significant here since it's kinda your part of the reading. OMG and the VS emoji, there is some tensionnn💢 Now seriously your person is missing out on my pile 2's hard passion right now, like you guys are on fire.🔥🥵 You've got some abilities that your person would beg for lmaooo like I mean 🔞... WOW okay it's not this type of pac but like for those of you who are into that, your person is honestly missing out on the best s❤️‍🔥x of their life that's what it's telling me.😭 Take what resonates! They're missing out on such a hot spicy romance with pile 2!!! You radiate passion and dominance in all the right ways that can turn anyone on instantly👌🫣 It's giving boss b*tch energy 100% your person is missing out on all the fun they could be having with you😈❤️‍🔥👅 Your deviant side is so attractive and irresistible! Your energy is giving a gorgeous hot villain that can make anyone fall on their knees for you pile 2😍 Just know that person would date you if they could get away with it😭 And it's your call, not theirs! You are in total control of your life and that is so hot!!💋❤️ Also any scars you have look GOOD on you pile 2, like you literally own them. Your body is magnetic, sensual and desirable, also your strength makes you incredibly attractive.👏 That person is missing out on ALL THAT pile 2! You make it look like they're lacking widsom from not noticing just how worth it you are.✨️ The cards are screaming out about how hot you are lmao. Your person is really missing out on your romantic attention, because that is limited they better know😘💅🌹 My pile 2's are so fierce and independent, your person is missing that with you!! If you are working you come off like a complete boss woman/man and like you could step on every little person beneath you. You got it together all while looking like a complete baddie🔥 Some of my pile 2's got that luxury vibe, like you are your own millionare😩💸💲✨️ You're expensive and they know it! They gotta be missing out on the greatest deal of their life if they can't be mature about you.🙌 My pile 2's are classy god/godesses worth billions!👑❤️
📞Messages from your person: You betrayed my trust, Over and over, Everyone wants you, You never learn, You're mine forever, I've heard about you, I know it's hard, I'm losing you (They it it!!! They know you aren't for free like they better work for it☝️😎❤️‍🔥 But they're kinda obsessed ngl) Extra cards: Screen, Enemy, Allow, Pretty, Offer, South node, Lilith, Aquarius, Uranus, Jupiter (OMG But like enemy came out again?!🤯 This is crazyy it's possible your person feels like they did you wrong in some way, maybe they feel like they solicited or allowed friends or other people to torment you or turn them against you. This could be because of your beauty, I think your person may want to offer you better opportunities or you will just get that yourself like the independent boss you are.👑 Pile 2 you are blessed!🙏✨️)
Thank you my pile 2's! If you feel this resonated, you may tap the heart to claim this message!💌
I hope you enjoyed your reading! ʚ(。˃ ᵕ ˂ )ɞ If you did be sure to let me know pile 2 with the shopping bags emoji~🛍 You are so sweet pile 2🩷 Thanks for scrolling through, Hugs hugs hugs!! See you in the next reading👠💕✨️
Pile 3💄
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Sign energy: Clue, Creativity, Mine, Clingy, Bite, 8th house, South node, Sun, 4th house, Uranus,🆕️🧜‍♀️🙆‍♀️💀
🎀Your person's energy: Ahh so this person is hot😳 Some of you are very emotionally attached to this person, like they are YOUR person and you feel that in your heart.🥺💓 This may be a new person or someone from your past, it honestly depends since both messages came out. Your person is very creative and somewhat eccentric, but they have great ideas!💡 You may feel a deep magnetic attraction to them, omg they pull you in like a siren😭🖤 There is a very mysterious energy to them, possible signs are Scorpio, Leo, Cancer and Aquarius. They may have Sun in 4th house, Uranus in 8th, or Scorpio/Pluto energy in 4th house for some. On the other side of this, some of my pile 3's could have neptunian influence.🔱💕 This person is just so magnetically attractive, their gaze is like a black hole that sucks you in🫣 It is hard to resist this person!! You might really miss this person if you two are apart. Now don't get me wrong, your person is very emotional too, they have deep feelings they keep inside😢🌧 For some of you this person may feel a little too intense, there are themes of possessiveness or over attachment from you or them in their energy. This may be a connection one or both of you are not willing to let go, or the relationship has changed in some way. This could be a phase that ended between you two, maybe you thought they were yours, like they belonged to you, but then came a tower moment. It feels like you two are heavily connected, like there is a psychological binding going on here🔗 Something interesting, their bites🫣 Idk if you've ever experienced it from them but that might be something they're really into if that resonates🦷💭 Yeah this person is very attractive like they come off intimate and deep to you. Also so so intimidating like they may scare you in some way, just by how their energy pulls you in😭 I think they are also quite a caring and protective individual. Might be great at guessing, that's something I heard. They are unique for sure, you may feel as if you can't find anyone like them🙏💘 There may be an unhealthy obsession or attachment to your person here, just be careful my lovely pile 3's. You could feel like you can't live without them, like they were your person.💔
💋What they're missing with you: Proper, Therapy, Friends, Learning, Stability, Sun, 8th house, Scorpio, Pluto, Lilith,🐉🪧🩷🧬 Okayyy so this is interesting, it's gonna weigh down on this person just how much they're missing from you😭💖 You are so lovely and charming, my pile 3's are such sweethearts! You seem so genuine and pure and honestly that drives your person crazy🤯💟🖤 You've got such a big heart and everyone knows it!🫵😍 I'm getting a gorgeous preppy vibe from this pile, like you just come off so cute and pretty. You are like free therapy, especially to your person.🫂💞 You are the object of their obsession I'm hearing, seriously they might not feel stable or okay without you. I feel like you just radiate an energy that makes any person fall deeply madly in love with you, pile 3.😌💕 Also your person may feel really jealous because of your relationship with your friends, those who can be closest to you. I think your person is a little envious of that, like I'm kind of picking up on them really wanting you for themselves like they're a little selfish about you because yeah they're pretty obsessive.😳 Honestly you have so much power to you pile 3 and they know this, you are so smart, sweet and classy. They are really missing out on the strong bond you share with your chosen loved ones, which you can be very selective of who you choose to let in which is so attractive.👏😭💞 Like just you sharing your energy with someone is worth so much, that is something your person can't obtain easily. You guys they are missing out on the most loving relationship they could be experiencing with someone!🎀🩷 You both have such a deep connection too and they won't find that in any other like they can with you.💋🔗 Here I'm seeing your person specifically, finds you very very hot🤒🔥 Like even if you act innocent they see you as something of their darkest fantasies. You just appear physically and sensually hot af to this person like what😂🥵 They're kinda missing out on the spicy romance or unforgettable intimacy they could experience with you because you're most likely their physical ideal❤️‍🔥 So like straight up, they're not gonna find anyone who can turn them on as much as you would be able to, pile 3.👏 You unleash their most hidden wild self unlike anyone else can, you may look really good in pink and I think they're missing out you cuz you shine so bright, your femininity is so magnetic and lovely🌟💕 You most likely leave a lasting impression on your person and it's gonna be really hard for them to resist or repress their intense desire for you.😩
📞Messages from your person: It's hard to explain, I wish I could read your mind, I hate it when you cry, Don't look so down, I wanna make your wishes come true, You don't know how much it hurts, Your voice is so pretty, Forget it. (AHH this got so emotional pile 3 lol just like pouring their heart out but then it's like whateverrr It's weighing down on them😭💋💞) Extra cards: Connection, Roots, Sight, September, North node, 11th house, Air, Cancer, Fire, Sagittarius (This connection is heading in a new direction for sure, someone may be manifesting in this connection. There might be a meeting or closure in the future, traveling to a home country or hometown may be significant. September may be a significant month here, something hugely positive is manifesting for my pile 3's regarding this situation!!🙏💕 Stay strong and love yourself 🤗)
Thank you my pile 3's! If you feel this resonated, you may tap the heart to claim this message!💌
I hope you enjoyed your reading! ʚ(。˃ ᵕ ˂ )ɞ If you did be sure to let me know pile 3 with the lipstick emoji~💄 Love you pile 3 mwah💋 Thanks for scrolling through, Hugs hugs hugs!! See you in the next reading👠💕✨️
Pile 4💸
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Sign energy: Technology, Swim, Mutable, Grey, Relax, Neptune, Jupiter, 11th house, Capricorn, 9th house,🦥🗣⛩️⛲️
🎀Your person's energy: So this is someone that some of you are viewing online/through social media, this connection appears to be lacking much physical energy🔇😥 I think you guys are kind of unseen to your person, like they are not aware of your connection like you would want them to be. This person could be from a different country or they are at a distance from you guys right now.🌏💔 They have a very strong presence about them, some signs are Pisces, Sagittarius, Aquarius or Capricorn may be significant. Mutable signs too so like Gemini, Virgo, Sagittarius and Pisces are signs that may resonate. They may have Neptune in 9th house, Jupiter in Sagittarius or 9th/11th house, Capricorn could be over their 9th aswell so that is some possible placements for some.✨️ This person may have close friends that are mutable signs, they are easy-going and calm type of person. For some of my pile 4's this person may not know you exist or treating you that way I'm also hearing "silent treatment" for a select few of my pile 4's there may be some blocking going on aswell. They aren't paying attention to you like you are with them. Your person are very admirable and inspiring and you may really want to hold onto them.😫✊️ I'm hearing "they're a keeper" lol like spouse material! I think this person is blessed in many areas of their life, I'm also hearing "open doors" they may get a lot of opportunities.🚪😎💫 They might enjoy swimming or that is a hobby of theirs, also they probably look good in grey or gravitate to that color.🩶 Some of you might be manifesting this person! It feels like they are someone important, they could have a following on social media or have many online acquaintances.📱💬 I am getting a more mature and cultured vibe about your person.🍷🎓 They may have traveled the world at some point already or they have a bucket list, they're pretty laid back. May seem tired or lack emotion at times, likely they spend too much time on their phone/electronic devices. There is signs of gambling addiction for some in this pile, but your person could just be very lucky.🪙✨️ Overall they're pretty snazzy but I think they aren't very involved with my pile 4's all that much. There could be distance, or emotional blockage within this connection. It feels like your person doesn't show interest in you or that they appear like they are on a different level😫😢
💋What they're missing with you: Letter, Pain, Crown, Lost in translation, Drop, Mercury, Virgo, South node, 10th house, 12th house,🪰😟🟫🆙️ Yeah okay so first of all, pile 4 deserves to be given special treatment!👏👑💖 And your person is missing out of everything they could be offering you right now, like my pile 4's should be lavished and have all their dreams made into reality☝️🙄✨️ I think your person has caused you a lot of pain and you feel unheard or ignored. Just letting you know your person should be insecure not you my beautiful pile 4😭💞 You are royalty, you are a queen/king whatever you wanna be. You are perfect!👌 That person is gonna regret losing you or if they've already lost you, they're a speck just watching you slip away out of their reach lmao they're just so worried. I'm hearing that song by miley cyrus "fly on the wall" because it's THEM, the lyrics may resonate with you if you wanna look it up. Honestly you are jaw dropping gorgeous and you deserve respect and you get it👏🙌😍❤️ Your person is simply missing out on all the incredible conversations you could be having with them, and how intelligent and charming you are. They might really miss your helpful nature, like you just fix everything and make things better.🙏 You are the only person who can truly improve them I'm hearing. Your mind is so attractive and your person is missing out on being in it😘🤪💭 You may look really good in brown and like your person is missing out on just how good you look😫🫶 The cards are saying you are 🔛🔝 you are boss, you own your world. Also my pile 4's are so well put together and admirable! Like you should just look down on those who judge you, because they are beneath you and you know it!😘💅 You deserve appreciation and approval, congratulations on everything you've accomplished you are amazing. Your person is really missing out on how much work you put into yourself and them, they're missing how much effort you give that is unmatched by anyone they'll ever meet.💞 You are high quality pile 4, never forget it!🥰👑 Someone better meet your standards because you won't be settling for anything less. Your person is not even on your level, even if it seemed that way. You're in another league, I can see this person crawling back to you haha it's your choice pile 4 if you're open to giving them your time at all💅⏳️ You are LIMITED EDITION okay? Stand proud, my cards are saying you gotta regain your strength and confidence! Take back that independence and you don't "need" anyone because you are IT🏆
📞Messages from your person: It's obvious we're perfect for eachother, Let's talk more, Don't be so negative, It's true, Your standards are high, I found the one, As expected, Think of things that make you happy, We need boundaries. (Yeah I'm seeing that person actually deeply respects your standards and how you want to be treated✨️ And that is how we find the right person when we set clear intentions and they gotta step up to meet our needs or else so of course you deserve that pile 4!❤️‍🔥) Extra cards: Clothes, Entertainment, Queen of hearts, Bones, Above, Moon, Eros, Sagittarius, Saturn, 1st house (You are just so incredibly top tier, it's just confirming this now. You are a total boss pile 4, strong willed and inspiring!🙌🤗)
Thank you my pile 4's! If you feel this resonated, you may tap the heart to claim this message!💌
I hope you enjoyed your reading! ʚ(。˃ ᵕ ˂ )ɞ If you did be sure to let me know pile 4 with the cash emoji~💸 My pile 4's I love you👏 Thanks for scrolling through, Hugs hugs hugs!! See you in the next reading👠💕✨️
Wanna see more readings like this? Check out my tumblr for accurate readings for you!💗🌊🌸
Thanks for reading! \(*^w^)/💌 -Lunadream <3
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goquokka00 · 2 days
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The Little Things (Hyunjin Ver.)
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The small things he does every day that make you feel oh, so special.
Bangchan | Minho | Changbin | Hyunjin
Jisung | Felix | Seungmin | Jeongin
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| Slow Dances |
Hyunjin is an absolute beautiful dancer. And he really loves dancing a lot, too. That's why there are some nights where he's just in the mood to slow dance with you. Sometimes it's in the kitchen, other times it's in the living room. But he'll always put on a ballad or a slow song and then guide you to an open area in the house so you both can dance.
It's not really even slow dancing. It's Hyunjin swaying with you while holding your waist, your arms around his neck. The two of you sometimes talk and laugh with each other while you both sway back and forth. Sometimes, Hyunjin is gently humming or singing the song playing, and you smile and listen. And sometimes, you two get close and just sway, Hyunjin resting his head on yours while you rest your head right underneath his chin.
If you actually know how to do some slow dances, you and Hyunjin will put on the correct music and perform the dance with each other. If you don't know, then Hyunjin would take time to teach you. Either way, getting to share something he loves doing with you in the evening or during sunset is something he really enjoys.
| Taking Pictures |
Hyunjin is a very photogenic person, we know this. He also thinks you're a very photographic person. Even if you don't think so. This man loves you and your beauty, and just can't help but snap pictures of you almost every day. Hell, I wouldn't be surprised if he has a photo album in his phone's gallery of just you (or pictures of him with you in them).
I'm not even kidding when I say that Hyunjin would snap photos of you doing literally anything. It could be a picture of you walking in front of him during a date, you holding his hand, you cooking, you cuddled up against him, you sleeping on his shoulder, you just sitting on the couch watching TV. And half of the time, you don't even know he's taking them.
He also likes to switch his wallpapers on his lock and home screen of the most recent favorites. And that's when you usually catch the pictures your lover has taken of you. "Hyunnie, when did you take this picture?" "Huh? Oh, that? I...don't know what you're talking about." "Hyunjin, I swear to god--"
| Plays with Your Hair/Hands |
I have this very sneaky suspicion that Hyunjin is someone who, when you're laying against him, will immediately start playing around with your hands or hair, depending on how you two are situated. Whether it's something he does to relax or because he's stressed or something, only God knows.
If you're laying with your back against his chest, let's say while watching a TV series or a movie, Hyunjin takes your hands in his, and begins to play around with them. He'd probably gently massage your hands, fold your hands in his for a minute and admire how your hands look together, gently feel your hands to memorize every knuckle, feel, wrinkle, everything.
If your head is on his chest, then he's playing with your hair. Hyunjin would absolutely be obsessed about how your hair feels. It's so soft, and it's so smooth. He'll run his hands through it, try and do braids (while failing because he doesn't know what he's doing; he'll ask a stylist how to do it later), twist it, gently gather it into a ponytail only to let it fall, the list goes on and on. But he just can't help himself.
| Hello/Goodbye Forehead Kisses |
I don't really think Hyunjin is the type of person to just throw himself on you and smother you in kisses and tell you he loves you before work or that he missed you after. I think he'd gently cup your cheek and guide you to him, gently placing a kiss onto your forehead. He'd say something simple, too. Something like, "I missed you, hun," or, "I'll see you later, okay?"
Hyunjin will usually do this every single day, though. Sure, he might not be a huge sucker for coddling and babying you with everything in him, but he does want to show you he loves you every day. Of course, everything changes when he has to leave for a tour or a business trip.
He will hold you so close, placing more than one kiss to your forehead before he leaves. He'll say the sweetest things to you, too, kissing your lips before he leaves. During the tour, I swear he'll text you every morning with "Morning, beautiful 😘💋Hope you have a good day". And when he gets back, he'll hold you close again while resting his lips against your head, mumbling about how much he missed you.
| Draws/Paints with You |
Okay, this isn't an unknown fact, but Hyunjin ADORES painting and drawing and anything and everything artistic. So obviously, he'd want to share that love with you. He would 100% teach you how to do watercolor flowers and draw landscapes. And if you do art in your own free time, then he'd probably have you teach him a thing or two, too.
I feel like you two would paint and draw on a day off or something. You'd be listening to music while doing so, maybe Stray Kids songs, or whatever you felt like listening to. There'd probably be some small talk, and some compliments on each piece of artwork the two of you would be doing.
I also think that you two would do silly art challenges you saw online or on TikTok. Using only three colors, switching sketchbooks every five minutes, stuff like that. Sure, the things you both create look goofy and you both end up laughing at the artwork you made, but it's definitely you guys' favorite way to spend time together.
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Hey! Firstly, thank you so much for reading this post, and I really hope you enjoyed! If you did, please like, reblog, or comment so I can see how I'm doing with writing and getting feedback! I hope you have a lovely day! Sleep well, stay in good health, and eat something if you haven't! ❤️❤️❤️
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acourtoflight · 22 hours
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big rant incoming <3
being on acotar tiktok comes with dealing with delusional people who are also trying to gaslight you.
the fact that people still believe gwyn is gonna have a book is crazy to me, especially before elain. the fact that people believe sjm is gonna have a man choose is crazy.
let’s address all their arguments one by one, shall we?
1. “elriel is too obvious/cliché”. this makes me laugh because do you even know what you’re reading? romantasy is always cliché. and also, everyone finding their mate and living happily ever after wouldn’t be too obvious or cliché? what stakes would they have? they have no obstacles, that book would be finished in 100 pages unless she made the romance a subplot, which we know won’t happen.
2. “lulu deserves happiness”. okay i’m gonna be real biased here. i don’t care about lucien’s happiness. i don’t care. the only thing i want is for elain to get the man she actually likes, which happens to be azriel. also, if lucien has been through so much so has azriel yet i don’t see all that coddling for him. lucien fans sound like boy obsessed moms and i’m tired of it. you 36! i would loveeee to know what lucien has done to have so many fans.
also, if i entertain the possibility of elucien happening, i will not forgive sjm for making elain “come around” after she repeated non-stop how uncomfortable she is around lucien. she’s not a consolation prize for him, sorry.
another thing. every plot point i have read for an elucien book revolves around lucien, not elain. but then they will turn around and tell you we are the ones who don’t care about elain. that we only want azriel smut. lol first of all, if we only wanted azriel smut we would have no reason to ship him with elain, we could have shipped gwynriel. but we don’t because the smut is not the only thing we want. the only thing we have had for years were the cute/sweet moments, and it’s all we talk about still. so point invalid, once again. next.
3. “azriel only feels lust for elain!”. stop lying. i know you can’t be that stupid. i know you have read the whole series just like me. what kind of man stares at ibuprofen every night for over a year if he’s only looking to get laid? what kind of man questions fate if he only wants to get laid? what kind of man risks dying alone just to rescue her if he’s only looking to get laid? what kind of man goes out of his way to pick a necklace that represents her if he’s only looking to get laid? cry all you want but we all know azriel is a good male and you would rather destroy his character in your head than accept it.
also, if azriel is so bad, why would you ship him with gwyn? she won’t fix him. and the poor girl hasn’t even shown interest in him yet here we are.
4. “elain gave truthteller and the necklace back”. she gave back truthteller because it wasn’t hers, and azriel would need it again because he actually makes use of it. she gave the necklace back because she thought azriel didn’t like her, she thought she had read everything wrong, not because she was the one rejecting him. she gave the necklace back just like nesta didn’t even accept cassian’s gift.
5. “azriel’s shadows don’t like elain”. that’s another big fat lie. i know we all have eyes and have read the same words on paper, let’s not act stupid, okay? shadows swarming him means he’s either mad, uncomfortable, or something is troubling him. so if we know that why would the shadows disappearing be a bad thing? he certainly doesn’t seem worried about it. not to mention those same shadows were like snakes preparing to strike when nesta insulted elain.
6. “feysand and nessian didn’t like each other at first either”. LIE. feyre literally called rhys the most beautiful man she had ever seen and nesta and cassian were attracted to each other from the first moment they met, and we know that because it’s in the actual book! elain and lucien are nothing like that, they have no chemistry for the pov to change all of a sudden, they are uncomfortable around each other because the mate bond basically feels like a curse.
that’s it for now.
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ollypopwrites · 3 days
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Happy Pride Month I am nothing but a sappy bisexual who wants to make love to her video game wife.
Karlach pre-engine fix mutual masturbation.
Karlach x F!Reader
CW: 18+ (MDNI), dirty talk, slight switchy dynamics. Horny and sweet, just like our fiery friend.
❤️‍🔥 you just want some alone time with her not even sexual you just like being around her
❤️‍🔥 sitting in her tent with the flap only barely closed cuz of the heat but your determined to withstand it
❤️‍🔥 but gods it’s hot in there so you remove your shirt. You’re all sweaty and in your underclothes and trousers and now it’s even HOTTER when you notice Karlach’s starting to burn blue
❤️‍🔥 she makes a needy noise “you’re killing me soldier”
❤️‍🔥 “sorry” you say sheepishly, “should I go?”
❤️‍🔥 “don’t you fucking dare.”
❤️‍🔥 it’s torture for her. You’re soooo close, close enough to touch, but she just can’t and even though she’s literally playing with fire somehow it’s worse to think of you leaving
❤️‍🔥 she just crosses her legs stretched out in front of her and her tail wraps around herself tight, trying to maintain self-control
❤️‍🔥 her reaction excites you and you can’t help but speak. “you always ask what I would do if I could touch you,” you lick your lips as a bead of sweat drips down your temple and onto your neck, her eyes watching it as it goes. “But what would you do if you could touch me?”
❤️‍🔥 “everything. I’d do it all.”
❤️‍🔥 she sounds so different. She’s always loud and joyful and silly, but now her voice is so much lower and rougher. You can tell how badly she wants you just by the tone.
❤️‍🔥 “tell me.”
❤️‍🔥 “I want to lick the sweat off your neck there,” her eyes are glued to the spot. She blinks a couple times, “we’re playing a dangerous game here, baby.”
❤️‍🔥 your smile feels wicked as it spreads on your lips. “Live a little,” you tease.
❤️‍🔥 “I’ll burn you,” she says, truly tormented. “I don’t want to hurt you.”
❤️‍🔥 “you won’t.” At her confused look you bite your lip. “You stay over there and I’ll stay here.”
❤️‍🔥 it takes her a minute to understand what you mean ( 8 INT + horny brain, she’s doing her best) but she groans and grins “gods you’re a genius.”
❤️‍🔥 “tell me where you want to touch me” you don’t mind taking the lead, it’s been years since she could entertain the idea of a lover, years since she could experience anything like this with someone else — it’s okay if she needs some help figuring it out again
❤️‍🔥 “I’d touch your face first,” she tells you, and you caress your hand over your own cheek, “touch your lips” you drag your middle finger over the sensitive skin
❤️‍🔥 “take your hand, kiss the palm” you instruct, and when she does you say, “close your eyes.”
❤️‍🔥 she just holds her hand there for a moment eyes screwed shut, you can hear her lips smack against the palm of her hand. She makes another quiet noise, and you let her enjoy the image of it for a moment.
❤️‍🔥 “I’d rip that top off.” She says once her eyes open, gaze glued to your chest. You don’t rip it, but you do remove the last piece of clothing keeping your breasts from her view. For a moment she just stares.
❤️‍🔥 “grab them,” it’s half of a demand, half of a plea, and you do as she asks. Grabbing your tits in your hands, squeezing and massaging them. Karlach’s nearly panting, as she tugs down her own top. You admire the glow of her skin, blue against red in a beautiful contrast, and the way her nipples are already hard.
❤️‍🔥 “play with - I wanna play with your nipples,” she breathes, her own hand coming up to her chest. “Do you like that?”
❤️‍🔥 you nod, a white hot flash of pleasure shooting down your spine as you pinch the the soft skin. Your head tilts back, and you rub your legs together for some friction. “Are they soft? Gods, I bet they’re soft.”
❤️‍🔥 “they are,” you breathe, eyes opening to watch her mirror your movements, little noises of pleasure and heavy breathing akin to how she does in a fight making the space feel hazy. You’d never be able to watch her fight again without getting wet, the dark focus in her eyes looks so similar, the rough grunts and bright heat you can feel radiating off of her all too familiar
❤️‍🔥 “pants, take ‘em off,” she says.
❤️‍🔥 you both wriggle around on the ground, careful not to touch as you take off the remainder of your clothes. It feels good, the heat in the tent is overwhelming but you find it adds to the excitement of it. You feel loose, relaxed and now that there’s no sweat slick clothes sticking to your skin, it’s comfortable.
❤️‍🔥 “you’re so gorgeous,” she huffs. “It’s not fair. I just want to touch you.”
❤️‍🔥 “trust me,” you reply, eyes roving over all of her muscle, all the scars and marks and infernal ridges of her skin, “I know what you mean.”
❤️‍🔥 “open your legs for me, darling,” she says, and immediately you have to swallow past a dry throat. She’s getting more used to it now, she’s feeling confident, and knows exactly what she wants.
❤️‍🔥 you spread your legs, exposing your wet cunt for her, and she bites at her lip. She does the same and you want to bury your face there, let her ride your tongue for as long as she likes, to start claiming back years of pleasure that was she was denied.
❤️‍🔥 “I wanna kiss a trail down to that pussy, baby,” she breathes. “I want to taste all of you.” You tickle your hand down your torso, her watching as you do. Her hands twitch on top of her thighs.
❤️‍🔥 “you can touch yourself,” you remind her. “It’s okay.”
❤️‍🔥 “together.” Is all she can seem to find the brainpower to elaborate on.
❤️‍🔥 you nod, dipping your fingers between your legs, watching as she rubs the seam between her legs but never dips her fingers inside. You spread your lower lips, showing her all of you, the lewdness of the gesture and the way her jaw drops making you twitch
❤️‍🔥 “are you wet?” She asks. “For me?”
❤️‍🔥 to prove it to her you rub through your folds, the wet sounds almost drowned out by the sound of heavy breathing but Karlach is pinpointed into every move and sound you make, and she hisses at it. “Fuck, you dirty girl. Soaked for me. Good.”
❤️‍🔥 oh. Well. You hadn’t expect her to get so comfortable so quickly, nor had you expected the slightly authoritative tone. But you certainly aren’t complaining.
❤️‍🔥 “show me what you like,” she tells you. “When I get my hands on you, I wanna know what makes you scream, love.”
❤️‍🔥 “you first,” you challenge.
❤️‍🔥 Karlach gives a truly wicked grin. She finally gives in, her fingers delving into her cunt. You watch, mesmerized by the lick of flames that dance on her skin, as she dips a finger into her hole, dragging wetness up to her clit where she slowly starts to circle.
❤️‍🔥 you lick your lips, rubbing gently at your own, it’s simultaneously so exciting and frustrating. You want her. You want her to touch you, you want to kiss her, you want to hear those low grunting moans in your ear—
❤️‍🔥 “I know, me too.” The tadpoles must have connected your consciousnesses, and you had a fleeting flash of embarrassment, hoping no one else in the camp had also been included in the connection.
❤️‍🔥 Karlach was twitching, hips rolling up to meet her own touch as she slunk down slightly. Her other hand played with a nipple, pinching and squeezing hard and rough. You memorized the method, mouth watering to put the stiff peak between your lips.
❤️‍🔥 “fuck yourself with your fingers,” she breathed. “I wanna see.”
❤️‍🔥 you sunk a finger into your own heat, the soft wet walls taking the intrusion easily, you were quickly losing focus as you gently pumped in and out.
❤️‍🔥 “you can do more,” she said, eyes intensely trained on you. “Know you can.”
❤️‍🔥 another finger then, anything she wanted, you would certainly do. You pumped, curling your fingers best you could to hit that spot that you loved but it was just slightly out of reach. You knew she’d be able to hit it easily.
❤️‍🔥 “gods I want to try everything with you,” she whined. Her fingers her dancing over her clit, quicker and more urgent. “Would you let me fuck you? Like with a toy?”
❤️‍🔥 “fuck,” you shuddered, “yes.”
❤️‍🔥 “bet you’d beg for it,” she grinned wickedly. “A big red cock, strapped to me so I can feel it in my clit while I rail you. Fuck.”
❤️‍🔥 “thought about it a lot, have you?”
❤️‍🔥 “you have no idea.” She was getting excited, all the things she wanted to do bubbling to the surface in a hazy stream of consciousness she spoke out loud. 10 years of only being able to fantasize seemed to have given her very detailed images of exactly what she wanted, and she was happy to share them with you.
❤️‍🔥 “Just wanna see your hole stretched for me, lick your clit and fuck you until you squirt for me,”
❤️‍🔥 “fuck - Karlach,” you breathed in shock. You had asked her to tell you what she would do if she could touch you. But the list of ideas was so long, so delicious you started to feel yourself tipping towards coming hard.
❤️‍🔥 but she wasn’t ready to stop telling you everything she wanted. “Grinding our cunts together, until we can’t come anymore, hold you down on the ground and ride your face — play with your pretty pussy so you see stars while I fuck myself on your tongue -“
❤️‍🔥 “Karlach,” you chanted her name, “I’m —“
❤️‍🔥 “yeah? You there?”
❤️‍🔥 you nodded, unable to speak much else.
❤️‍🔥 “do it, please, let me — fuck yes.”
❤️‍🔥 you cut her off with a needy whine, back arching and hips rolling into your own hand. Wave after wave of satisfaction making your body break out into a new sheen of sweat, heart thudding in your chest.
❤️‍🔥 Karlach groaned, her hips bucking as she hit her own release. Her entire body burned bright blue, the rush of heat in the tent making your skin tingle. It was entirely worth it to watch her ride out her orgasm, until she fell limp on the ground.
❤️‍🔥 a moment of quiet as you two breathed heavily, the hot air making it even more difficult to slow your breathing down. You were parched, covered in sweat and still twitching.
❤️‍🔥 Karlach laughed. A loud, throaty fully bodied sound that made you grin. “Gods, soldier,” she sighed. “I nearly burnt the camp to the ground.”
❤️‍🔥”worth it, if you ask me.”
❤️‍🔥 “completely.”
❤️‍🔥 she was quiet for a moment. “You know what else I’d do?” You hummed in response. “I’d hold you. All night. Just want to have you near. “
❤️‍🔥 your hand came out, just close enough to hers that it was tolerable to your skin. It was something you two had started doing, hands just close enough to touching as was safe — the closest you could get to holding her hand.
❤️‍🔥 “I’m here.” You assured her. “I’ll never be too far.”
🔥 she grinned, and the engine in her heart glowed.
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inesbaby21 · 2 days
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fluffy kk headcanons maybe?
FLUFFY KK ARNOLD HEADCANONS -
You guys definitely spend holiday breaks together no doubt!
I can see kk being super duper clingy, but in a cute way.
For example like ALWAYS needing a hand on somewhere on you, like your waist, holding your hand etcs
KK most definitely follows the sidewalk rule (you’re always walking on the inside, and trying to switch with her is starting a whole 4 he debate!)
I for sure see KK not splitting the pole, and if you so happen to part ways to split the pole it’s like ww3 (you gotta go back, and rewalk the pole together on one side. no matter how late she’s making you.
I know KK love love loves you doing her hair, I can hear her begging you to do cute styles because “I’m a broke college student, and why would I pay when you could just do my hair baby 😞.” I can literally see the puppy eyes, her cheering when you finally fold and say yes.
I already know KK begs you to go live with her, and when you finally do the comments are full of fans telling you two to “tune down on the pda, and kk hands where we can see them.”
This is kinda (really) random but i definitely see KK and a students sports manager together, I could see Y/N being super shy and KK finally getting through to her!
I also definitely can see KK dating Geno’s daughter who’s like not interested in basketball but goes to Uconn for something like music,or dance! (I can write something about this if you guys want just let me know)
Back to the fluffy- but I know that kk is so whiny, like if you had to leave the state for comps/had to leave your dorm for an afternoon lecture shes getting all pouty and sad fs!
I could also see going to practice with KK, and the girls “flirting” with you. (kk gets super jealous, and is giving everyone mad side eye like!)
Okay guys, I know that was a little short but I have practice soon! Send me more request this was really fun to write!
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sequinsmile-x · 18 hours
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Glissade
(glis·​sade) Noun. A gliding step in ballet
She was grateful that her mother showed up for the kids, but she couldn’t pretend it didn’t hurt. That she didn’t feel jealous that Elizabeth could do for her grandchildren what she’d never been able to do for her. It made her ache. Made her feel like the little girl she’d once been, standing in a room a little too similar to this one, waiting for her mother to arrive. 
-x-
Hi friends,
This was literally inspired by a tiktok I saw of a little girl smiling when she saw her mum in the crowd at a recital. Of course, it couldn't just be straight up fluff...so the mommy issues got involved.
I feel like everyone should know that @cloudlessly-light massively encouraged this as she sat on my couch this weekend haha
As always, please let me know what you think!
-x-
Words: 3.1k
Warnings: None
Read over on Ao3, or below the cut
April 1976
She peeks through the curtain separating the stage from the audience. She presses her lips together as she desperately looks for a familiar face in the sea of parents sitting and chatting as they wait for the dance recital to start. The sick feeling deep in her stomach she’d been feeling all afternoon gets worse as she doesn’t see her mom - an empty seat where she should be standing out in the crowd. 
“Emily, sweetie,” Mrs Stockton says, her hand on Emily’s back as she crouches next to her. Emily turns to look at her, her eyebrows furrowing as her tummy ache worsens, “We need to get started.”
Emily swallows thickly, her eyes burning as her vision goes blurry, tears she knew her mom would be mad at her for gathering at her lashline, “But my Mommy isn’t here yet.” 
She said she’d come. Emily had asked her every day for the last week if she would be here and she’d said yes, she’d promised that she’d come. 
“Your Mommy called,” Mrs Stockton says, her smile kind as she tucks some of Emily’s hair behind her ear, a stray strand having escaped the tight bun she’d put it in for her when she arrived, “She got caught up with work. She said Mr Wright, your driver, will pick you up when we’re done.” 
It takes a second for her teacher's words to sink in, and her chest feels tight, the rolling in her stomach all morning rushing upwards and for a moment she thinks she’s going to be sick. She swallows it back down, not wanting to throw up in front of her classmates, their whispers to each other as they watch Mrs Stockton talk to her loud despite how she tries to ignore them. 
“But…she promised.” 
Mrs Stockton sighs sympathetically, “I know she did sweetie,” she says, “I’m sorry.” 
Emily nods and wipes a tear from her cheek as it falls, knowing what her mom would say if she was here. She’d tell her she shouldn’t cry, that Prentiss’s were strong - whatever that meant. She’d only ever seen her mom cry once, although she was sure she hadn’t seen her. It was just after Emily had seen her dad for the last time a few months ago. She’d had a nightmare and tried to find her mom and eventually sought her out in her office. She’d stopped when she was in the doorway, her fist still lifted to knock, because she always had to knock, when she heard crying. 
She’d walked back to her room, her favourite stuffed animal still hanging from her hand, and decided to look after herself. Something that she thinks she’ll have to start doing a lot more of. 
“Okay,” Emily says, forcing a smile, one she’d always been told looked exactly like her mother’s, “I’m ready.” 
___
“We’re late.” 
Aaron has to stop himself from sighing, well aware that his wife was on edge and that anything was liable to push her over it. Ever since they’d woken up that morning she’d been anxious, a tension in her shoulders visible from the second she’d climbed out of bed. It was something only their children could bring out in her, a constant fear that she was letting them down forever lingering under her skin. She would practically vibrate with it, doubt in her abilities as a mother never far away. He hated that she doubted herself, that she couldn’t see what he could. That she was the centre of their children’s worlds. That Jack, Violet and Benjamin all sought her out at any given opportunity, never tiring of the unrelenting love she has for them.
He briefly looks at her hands, at the way she twists her rings around her finger - a nervous habit that had long since replaced picking at her cuticles, and he feels his heart ache for her. He swallows the sigh, covering it by clearing his throat, and he reaches over the centre console to squeeze Emily’s thigh, smiling when she immediately places her hand over his, linking their fingers together as she tries to draw comfort from him. 
“We’re not late, sweetheart,” he assures her, raising their joint hands to kiss her knuckles before he lets go of her hand to place it back on the steering wheel, “We’ll be there before it starts.” 
She hums absentmindedly and looks over her shoulder to the back of the car, her anxiety slipping away for a moment as she watches Benjamin in his car seat. His tiny hands and one of his feet visible from where he’s facing the back of the car - the 10-month-old’s love of taking his shoes off at any given opportunity well known. She reaches back and touches his hand, smiling when he starts to babble and wraps his fist around one of her fingers. 
“You excited to watch your sister dance, sweet boy?” She asks, her smile getting wider when his babbling gets louder, “Me too,” she says before she turns back to face the front of the car, her hand back in her lap. She feels her stomach twist when she checks her watch again, the minutes slipping by far too quickly for her liking, “She has to know we’re there, Aaron. It’s her first dance recital.” 
Violet had been excited about it for weeks. She’d talked non-stop about the recital, practising at any given opportunity, her brows furrowed together as she tried to remember the routine her dance teacher had taught her. She’d reminded them that morning before they left for work and they’d promised they’d be there, that she’d be able to see them in the crowd, and she’d smiled so widely just the memory of it made Emily ache. 
“We’re almost there, Em,” he says, briefly looking at her before he’s focusing on the road again, “Just another couple of minutes.” 
She huffs out a breath and rests her head back against the headrest, closing her eyes for a second as she tries to centre herself, “I know you probably think I’m being ridiculous-”
“Never,” he replies sincerely, forcing a smile to pass across her face as she shakes her head at him, looking at him through the side of her eyes before she carries on.
“But my mom never came to this kind of thing. And…I just want to do better,” she smiles sadly at him, avoiding his eye contact by looking in the back of the car again, her eyes fixed on Benjamin as he works to take off his other shoe, “I never want them to know how it feels to not have us in the room with them, you know?” 
Not for the first time, and he knows not for the last, irritation aimed at his mother-in-law licks through him, his grip on the steering wheel tightening ever so slightly. He knew most, if not all, of Emily’s insecurity about being a mother, came from what her relationship with Elizabeth looked like. She’d told him once, shortly after they found out Violet was a girl, that she was worried she wouldn’t be any good at raising a daughter. She’d stared at her lap, tears burning in her eyes as she quietly admitted to him she was convinced that something was missing in her, that her own mother’s lack of a maternal nature was genetic. A cycle she was sure she’d never be able to escape. 
He wished he could have shown her then where she was now, how she was their 4-year-old’s favourite person in the entire world. How Violet would beam the second she’d see Emily, her smile wide as she’d run over to her and fling herself into her arms. 
“I know,” he replies reaching for her hand and squeezing it again, “We are doing better,” he assures her, “Did your mom ever confirm if she was coming today?” 
Emily laughs humourlessly and shakes her head, relief washing over her as they finally pull into the school’s parking lot, “No. I didn’t tell Vi that I invited her, that way she can’t be disappointed if she doesn’t show up,” she says, barely waiting for him to turn off the car’s engine before she’s out of it, rounding the car to get Benjamin. She smiles widely at him as she opens the door and unbuckles him, “There’s my sweet barefoot boy.” 
She presses several kisses on his cheek as she lifts him into her arms, the giggle he releases one of her favourite sounds in the world. She kisses him one more time before she hands him over to Aaron, her smile impossibly wider at the sight of them together.
“Mom!” 
She turns just in time to see Jack running towards her, his arms out-stretched as he hugs her, “Hi honey,” she replies, smiling at Jessica as she walks towards them, “Have you been here long?” 
“We just got here,” Jessica says, “You guys made good time.”
Aaron chokes on a laugh, the sound breaking free from his chest before he can stop it, and Emily turns to look at him, her eyes narrowed as she points at him.
“Not a word.” 
Aaron smiles and nods, exchanging an amused look with Jessica before he nods towards the school, “We should go in. Find some seats.” 
Emily hums and wraps her arm around Jack’s shoulders, squeezing him closer as they walk in tandem. He’s telling her about his day, enthusiastically filling her in about what he’d learned at school and the fun he and his friends had at recess, when she spots a familiar face in the school hall, leaving her frozen in place. 
“Mother?” 
Elizabeth smiles and stands up from her seat in the front row, waving them over to the empty seats next to her, “Emily, Aaron - I saved you all some seats.” 
Emily falters a little bit, rooted to the spot until she feels the warmth of Aaron’s chest against her back and Benjamin’s tiny fingers tangling in her hair. She clears her throat and walks over to her mother, casting a glance over her shoulder at her husband, grateful for the assurance she felt whenever he was near.
“Mother, hi,” she says, leaning in to stamp a kiss against her mother’s cheek as she hugs her, “I didn’t realise you were coming.” 
She scoffs as she briefly hugs Emily before she pulls Jack into a hug, “I wouldn’t miss this for the world,” she says, as if it’s obvious, as if she doesn’t have a track record of missing this exact kind of thing, “I got here early so we could sit in the front row.” 
Emily nods, her lips pressed tightly together as she clears her throat, pushing the hurt and repressed anger she’d been hiding for years down into her gut, “Well, I know Vi will appreciate it.” 
“Will everyone please take their seats, we are about to begin.” 
The teacher’s voice cuts across any other conversation, and after a rushed greeting between Elizabeth, Jessica and Aaron they all take their seats. Emily sits with Jack on one side of her and Aaron on the other, Benjamin pressed between the two of them, his fingers tangled in her shirt even though he’s still in Aaron’s arms. She can feel her mother’s gaze burning into her side. The sensation was achingly familiar and she does her best to ignore it. 
She was grateful that her mother showed up for the kids, but she couldn’t pretend it didn’t hurt. That she didn’t feel jealous that Elizabeth could do for her grandchildren what she’d never been able to do for her. It made her ache. Made her feel like the little girl she’d once been, standing in a room a little too similar to this one, waiting for her mother to arrive. 
Everyone applauds when the kids walk out on stage, all nervous and some of them slightly unsteady on their feet. Emily immediately spots Violet and she can see just how anxious her little girl is, her teeth sinking into her lower lip as she looks at the crowd clearly seeking her out. It’s obvious the moment Violet spots her. Her face lights up, her shoulders loosen as she immediately relaxes, her smile wide as she waves at Emily. 
Emily waves back, pride and love overwhelming her as she blows out a shaky breath, tears she doesn’t entirely understand making her vision blur. She jumps slightly when Aaron places his hand on her leg and she looks up at him, her smile soft as their eyes meet and she sees the same proud tears shining right back at her.
___
“Okay, sweet girl,” Emily says, tucking Violet’s bedding around her, “It’s time to go to sleep.”
Violet smiles sleepily at her, her usual attempts at fighting bedtime nowhere to be found, “Today was fun.”
Emily hums and runs her fingers through Violet’s hair, “It was nice, huh?” She says, “You did so good baby.” 
“Thanks, Mommy.” 
She stands up and kisses Violet’s forehead, “You’re welcome,” she kisses her forehead again, “You get some sleep, okay? You know where Daddy and I are if you need us.” 
She nods and wraps her arms around her favourite toy, “Love you, Mama.”
“Love you too, Vi,” she replies, taking a moment to watch her from the doorway before she switches out the light and steps out into the hallway. She jumps when she almost immediately walks into Elizabeth, her hand over her heart as she gasps, “Jesus, Mother. What are you doing up here?” 
“Jack asked me to put him to bed,” she replies, her arms crossed over her chest, “I don’t get a chance to do it often so I said I would. Where’s Aaron?” 
“He’s on Benny duty tonight,” Emily says as she starts to walk towards the stairs, “He doesn’t like to fall asleep alone so Aaron will be there for a while,” she smiles when her mother laughs politely, “Thank you for coming today - and for staying for dinner. I know it meant a lot to Vi.” 
“Of course I came,” Elizabeth nods as they head into the kitchen and Emily goes to the fridge to get out some wine, “She’s my granddaughter.” 
Emily scoffs, unable to stop herself, her nerves shot after a long day. She was so happy for Violet that she had so many people in her life, that they’d filled half a row and been sat right there as she danced slightly out of beat with the music, but she was also jealous. Jealous that she’d never had anyone - not even one person sitting there to cheer her along. It felt wrong and made her feel like the worst mother in the world, but she couldn’t help it. It felt like a rock low and heavy in her belly, forcing her to say something she’d usually keep to herself.
“Well, I’m your daughter,” she says, shaking her head as she pours wine into two glasses, “And it never stopped you from missing my recitals.” 
Elizabeth gasps, a brief moment where her usual mask of never being affected by anything slips, “Emily.” 
She sighs, her eyes closed as she presses her palms against the kitchen counter, the cool marble of it resetting her brain, somehow making her feel worse. Her mother had never been what she’d needed, what she’d wanted, but she knew she loved her. That sometimes made it worse, made the indifference she occasionally felt from the person who should love her the most hurt even more, but she knew Elizabeth had done her best. Even though it had never been enough.
“Mom, I’m sorry. I shouldn’t-”
“No, Emily. I’m sorry,” Elizabeth says, her smile tight as she cuts over her. Emily frowns, her eyebrows knitting together as she stumbles over her words for a second, the apology from Elizabeth the last thing she’d expected. 
“Wh…what?” 
“I saw the look on Violet’s face when she spotted you in the crowd,” Elizabeth says, her arms crossed over her chest, “She lit up,” her smile turns sad, “We’ve never had that and I know thats my fault. I should have…” she clears her throat, “If I could go back I’d make some different choices. It’s why I’m doing my best to make different ones now.” 
Emily stares at her, her mouth hanging open ever so slightly as she tries to figure out how to respond. It didn’t fix or change anything. It didn’t undo the years of hurt and resentment, how they had led her to make so many choices she couldn’t unmake, but it was something. An acknowledgement she hadn’t realised she’d needed, and one she certainly never thought she’d get. 
“Thank you,” she says, not sure what else she could say, “That’s…thank you.” 
The moment ends as quickly as it began when Aaron walks into the room, “He finally fell asleep.” 
“Good,” Emily says, turning to look at him, “I’m glad.” 
“I’m going to go sit down,” Elizabeth says, smiling softly at Emily as she picks up her glass of wine, and if she didn’t know any better, if it wasn’t entirely out of character for her mother, Emily would be sure she was purposefully giving her a moment with her husband, “I’ll see you in a minute.”
Emily nods and watches her go, her throat tight as she stands frozen in place. She only moves when Aaron places a hand on her shoulder, his eyebrows pulled together in concern when she looks up at him.
“You okay, sweetheart?” 
She blows out a breath and shrugs, “I don’t know.” 
He wraps his arms around her and tugs her into a hug. She presses herself against him, her face against his neck as she settles into him, into the comfort he always provided. 
“Want to talk about it?”
She shakes her head, “Not yet.” 
“Okay,” he replies, kissing the top of her head and rubbing a comforting hand up and down her back. He changes the subject, well aware that whatever he’d walked in on was something she’d need to process herself before she spoke to him about it, “Vi did so good today.” 
She smiles so widely he can feel it against his neck and she nods, “Yeah,” she replies, leaning back to look up at him, “She’s amazing.” 
He stamps a kiss against her lips and cups the back of her head, holding her in place so he can rest his forehead against hers, “Just like her mom.” 
-x-
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laughroditee · 10 hours
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Your Ghost | Part 2
Part 1 is here CW: this story takes place after Soap's death and contains supernatural elements, tarot, mentions of death and blood Summary: Evangeline reluctantly goes to talk to Simon about Johnny at Johnny's urging.
The ghost of John MacTavish looked down at me with a serious expression.  “I did.  I need yer help, Evangeline.  Yer the only one who can do it.”
“No,” I said.
He blinked. “‘No?’”
“No,” I repeated, my eyes a little too wide. 
“Ye haven’t even heard what I want from ye.”  John looked annoyed, his brows drawing down in a frown that lined his face. It made him look maybe just a little bit intimidating.  Having issues with displeasing someone, who me?
“Don’t want to.  Can’t.”  I shook my head for extra emphasis as if I needed it.  “Mm-mm.”
“Are ye always so childish?” 
Oof, right in the feelings.  “You want me to talk to someone, don’t you?” I accused, my finger jabbing the air at him.  
“How—?”
“Knight of Swords.  Air.  Communication,” I explained as if this were common knowledge and a perfectly logical conclusion to reach.  “You just have that very chatty air about you, and I dunno, man, I’m not about that life.  I have social anxiety.  I don’t play well with strangers because I’m too busy having a heart attack around them.  It’s just not a strength that I have.”
John looked momentarily apologetic before despair swallowed the expression.  This gave me pause.  Fuck me and my Catholic guilt.  “Fine!  Okay, alright, I’ll hear you out, but I can’t promise you anything.”  I sat down on the edge of the bed, just trying to quell the anxious jitters making my fingers shake, The Knight of Swords card dancing slightly in my grasp.  I placed it back with the other two in the reading and looked up at my ghostly kinsman.
John’s examining gaze was concerned as he stood across from me.  “Ye alright, lass?”
Reminding myself to take a deep breath, I simply nodded.
A single confirmation nod from John was all he gave before launching into his story.  “I was a soldier in life.  SAS.  British special forces.  We were on a mission a few months ago, chasin’ a Russian terrorist in the London tunnels.  Makarov.”  His eyes blazed as the memories washed through him, spitting his enemy’s name as if it were poison.  “We had ‘im too.  But the fucker was slippery.  My captain and I got shot while we were diffusin’ a bomb.”  John’s hand went to his shoulder as if to soothe the phantom wound.  “Makarov was about to finish ‘im off – my captain, I mean – but I managed to get up and clap the bastard, only… I ended up gettin’ shot in the head.  Killed instantly.  Then Makarov buggered off.”
I listened intently to John’s story, my heart squeezing in my chest for him.  “I’m so sorry, John.  I… don’t know what else to say.  You were really brave.”
He smirked.  “A lot of good it did me.  Still, Captain Price is alive, and I dunnae regret that.”  His eyes seemed focused on something far away, and I waited for him to continue.
When he didn’t, I had to prompt him.  “John?  What is it that you want from me?”
His eyes refocused on me, his mouth set in a grim line.  “I need yer help, Evangeline….  My boyfriend was there that day.  One of my teammates.  He’s not doin’ well.”
Shit.  I blew out a long breath as if I was trying to exorcise my demons.  “I’m so sorry,” I repeated uselessly.  “John, I’m… probably the last person you want to go and talk to your boyfriend about your death or literally anything else.  I suck at this kind of thing.  I never know what to say to grieving people, even if I’ve known them forever.  Words just aren’t enough.”
“Please,” he said, kneeling by the bed, his ghostly hand passing through mine as it lay on my lap, chilling me.  “You’re all I have, lass.”
Despite the urgency in his voice, I was hesitant for reasons that should have been obvious.  I stared down at the three cards on the bed once again, reinterpreting the reading as The Knight of Swords representing John, the Death card — for the first time in one of my readings — representing his literal death, and the Three of Swords representing his boyfriend’s subsequent heartbreak.  There are always multiple ways to interpret the cards in every situation; you just have to move through it and see what fits—a little like grief.
I looked back at him with an expression of resignation on my face.  “You’re lucky I like you.”
His face lit up.  “So you’ll do it?”
I sighed, coming to terms with the decision I was about to make.  “Yeah.  I’ll do it.”
“Sorry I called ye childish,” he said apologetically.
“Mm.”
“Yer beau’iful,” he tried again.
I gave him a grin.  “Aww, how kind of you to say.”
“Yes, I am kind. Now you compliment me.”
“Why should I when you just did it yourself?”
He chuckled before his expression sobered.  “Thank you, Evangeline. I cannae repay the favor you’re doin’ me.”
I looked back at him, noting how similar our eyes were.  “You can owe me in the next life, how’s that?”
“Sounds like a fair deal.  So, are ye gonna clean up this mess?”
“Sorry, you’ll have to clean yourself up.”
“Funny.”
I leaned down and started to gather my fallen tarot cards, picking out carpet lint and hairs occasionally as I stacked the deck.
”Y’know…,” he began, “ye make me wish I could’ve met you while I was livin’.  Think we coulda been friends?”
Deck neatly in hand, I looked up at him, a warm, bittersweet feeling blossoming inside my chest.  “Yeah, I think we could’ve been.  Could still be.”
He laughed.  “Well, bein’ friends with me is a blessing in itself.”
“I’m sure it is.”
We headed out by taxi to John’s old flat to see his boyfriend, Simon.  Simon Riley.  I turned the name over in my mind as we drove, wondering what kind of man he was.  It was odd traveling in a car with a complete stranger, knowing that you have a ghost with you.  I kept looking at the driver in the rearview mirror, paranoid that he’d be able to see John, but aside from my own awkwardness, the trip concluded uneventfully.
I stared at the door that I was supposed to be knocking on and felt immediately threatened, that familiar fight-or-flight feeling making my extremities tingle.  “Shit.  John, I can’t…”
“Easy.  I’ll be right here; I won’t leave ye.  But we have to get in and get to Simon, alright?  The eejit’s blootered.”
I stared at him in confusion.  “He’s what?”
John rolled his eyes, exasperated.  “Drinkin’, hen.  He’s right sloshed.  Now get knockin’.”
Stepping toward the door, I looked at John and said, “I feel like your Scottish level just increased.”  I wrapped my knuckles on the door before I lost my nerve and stepped back.
He smirked, though it didn’t reach his eyes.  “I think yer just too American to understand—“
The door flew open, revealing the personification of my Death card: an enormous man wearing a skull balaclava, no shirt, about one billion muscles, and an appropriately sized scowl.  His displeasure was evident despite the mask covering his features.  It radiated off of him in waves like heat, like the smell of alcohol that invaded my nostrils as it drifted out from him.  Piercing dark eyes stared down at me briefly before squinting, and then he slammed the door in my face.  I could hear his heavy footfalls retreating further into the flat.  I looked at John, at a complete loss, and maybe with a bit of anxiety.  Just a wee bit.
He sighed.  “Knock again, Evangeline.  He’ll answer.”  
“Why do you not look convinced?”
“Because I’m not.”
“I appreciate your honesty.  Is he gonna kill me?” I asked, somehow finding the nerve to knock again through my blooming dissociation.  It was a genuine fear.  What do I actually know about these guys?  Not much.  John hadn’t told me anything about Simon besides that they were both in the military.  He most certainly didn’t tell me about how absofuckinglutely intimidating his man was; he looked like he could just break me in half with those dark brooding eyeballs of his, no hands necessary.  My heart lurched, palpitating in my chest wildly like a canary in a proverbial coal mine.
“He won’t kill ye,” John assured me and my anxiety.
Ten beats passed. Nothing.
“Steamin’ bloody Jesus,” John said in frustration and then disappeared through the wall of the flat.  I could hear him swearing and yelling, all in vain.  He emerged, raking a hand through his mohawk in irritation.  When his eyes finally locked with mine, a silent plea filled them.
I didn’t like that look on John’s face; the pain and concern etched there was almost a tangible thing, and it hurt.  It made me feel edgy and a bit unstable, as if the ground beneath me wasn’t as sturdy as I believed before coming out here.  I stepped up and knocked again, louder, more insistent.  For him.
This time, I could hear the lumbering stomps of Simon’s gait as he approached the door to the flat, and I braced myself for whatever might come.  My hair sucked forward from the sudden vacuum the door caused, and I nearly expected the door to be ripped from its hinges, such was the velocity at which the door opened.  I hadn’t stepped back, but Jesus, I wished that I had.
“The fuck do you want?”  Simon’s voice was a low growl, his thick British accent raking across me like a physical attack.
There was that small animal voice in the back of my head as I looked up at the angry behemoth at the door, which said, with zero doubt, “You are going to die.”  He braced a forearm on the doorframe, leaning in closer.  My eyes widened fractionally with every millimeter that decreased between us.  Shit.
“Um… A-are you Simon?  Simon Riley?”
He blinked at me with unfocused eyes.  He’d been drinking heavily as he reeked of alcohol, which was wonderful for me because we all know that drunk people are totally predictable.  “Who’s askin’?”
My eyes flicked to John, who stood beside the door, nodding encouragingly.  “M-my name is Evangeline.  I’m here about John—"
“Johnny,” John — or Johnny — corrected me.
“Johnny?”  I glanced at my ghostly companion, who nodded.
Simon narrowed his eyes.  “The fuck you on about?”
“Look, I know this will sound crazy, but he sent me here with a message.”  This was a bit of a stretch since, now that I thought about it, Johnny didn’t actually give me a message for Simon.
“So, what, you’re a bloody fortune teller?” Simon asked, his gravelly voice seething with bitter outrage.
Shit shit shit shit shit.  “No, that’s not—“ I started, taking a defensive step backward, but he barreled on.
“What the fuck do you want here?”
“Johnny wanted me to—“ 
I had little time to react before he picked me up by my jacket lapels and slammed me against his door, the air quickly evicted from my lungs.  The back of my head stung as I looked in horror at him.
“Johnny doesn’t want anything.  He’s fucking dead.”
I froze under his gaze, which was both hateful and wounded, the cold rush of adrenaline coursing through my bloodstream.
Johnny interjected in a panic, “The first thing I ever said to him was, ‘I’ll save you a seat, sir.’  Tell him!”
I could feel my throat starting to close up.  I couldn’t move, couldn’t talk, couldn’t breathe.
“Shit.”  Johnny rushed forward, moving through Simon, trying to get him to loosen his grip, but it was useless.  Next, he passed through me, my body feeling the chill of his presence, a strange, otherworldly shiver as suddenly, my mouth moved.
“LT, let ‘er go.”  The voice was mine, but the inflection and the speaker was Johnny.
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stuckinapril · 3 months
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The whole “be responsible not for other people’s feelings but to them” distinction is so so true… at some point you need to realize that other people’s insecurities really are their responsibility & dimming or contorting yourself to make them feel better helps neither you nor them. Firstly, bc they need to realize what they’re doing and grow up. And secondly, bc you’re not just compromising on a one-time thing. You’re comprising on who you are as a person. I don’t want to look back when I’m older and stay stuck wishing I held my ground despite people’s projections or asserted my presence more or didn’t apologize so much for who I am. I really just want to own everything (the good and bad) & continue doing what makes me happy
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hood-ex · 9 months
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I have seen you talking about Dick & Dami's relationship and Dick & Tim as well,but what are your takes on Dick and Jason actually?
Like how you wish their relationship should be portrayed today and where are them missing when it comes to making those two acting like siblings?
Do you think in the past their dynamic was better?
How Dick views Jason and how Jason views Dick?
This is difficult to answer because there are like 8 different stages to Dick and Jason's relationship with various dynamics. They also view each other a bit differently depending on which stage we're talking about.
The way I would like their relationship to be portrayed today isn’t necessarily possible thanks to Jason’s integration into the family and acceptance of the no killing moral code. For me, their ideal dynamic is portrayed in Outsiders #44-46. And I know people are gonna find that regressive as hell but, tbh, that dynamic is far more interesting than the kinda awkward thing they have going on now.
Although, I don't mind that they acknowledge their brotherhood in a serious manner now. Like before they'd kinda be like, "Eh... I mean... we were adopted from the same guy but... brothers? Eh..." And now they're more firmly in the, "We're brothers," camp. So that development is interesting.
Character progression wise, it wouldn't feel right for for them to be super close in the way that, say, Dick and Tim are (unless we saw a lot of trust and relationship building between them), but at the same time, there is part of me that kind of wants them to have that older sibling bond (except Jason is closer in age to Tim than he is to Dick sooo actually let's just leave older sibling things to Dick and Cass... not that Cass is much older than Jason though so LOL this is why Dick has to lone the oldest sibling thing by himself... which is funny because Dick is technically no longer the oldest sibling, he's a baby brother now... except Dick and Melinda's relationship really hasn't progressed much sooo you could say they share blood but don't consider each other family yet, in which case, Dick is still the oldest... I mean, regardless, Dick is the oldest sibling of the Waynes... god why did they have to make all of this so difficult 😫).
#jason's like blerghhh dad always loved you best. but also hey we should work together bc you're a killer like me#and then jason's also like hey dick you were the most amazing thing i've ever seen and idk you're cool but i won't say that to you#and then he's also like hey dick i've got girl advice for you and i also need your opinion on my hair. oh now bane is trying to kill us#and then he's also like oh you got amnesia? i don't give a fuck about you and maybe i'll kill you#and he's also like oh you trust me? okay well... we're brothers and i'm gonna save you#and then dick's like oh hey kid call me if you need me. oh you died? i am literally devastated i'm so sorry#and he's also like wow you're very good at what you do but i don't trust you... okay but i trust the intel you're giving me sooo....#and then he's like why the fuck are you dressing like me and killing people?? quit doing stupid shit!!#and then he's like jason what the fuck are you doing--let me help you!!#and then he's like kinda indifferent to jason but jason is still Ugh this family is stupid why am i here#and then dick's like ofc i'm gonna come help you if you need me but also this is awkward af and things are weird between us so bye#except not bye because i'm staying here to help you and your team#and then dick's like i'm being controlled by joker so i'm gonna kill yoooou#and then he's like eh i trust you and i'm gonna help you bc we're brothers but you literally wrecked bruce's car you numbskull#and then he's like you're doing dumb shit and i have to take you down but oh thanks for not letting the train kill me#and then they're both like meh we're doing shit w the batfam even though neither of us should be here rn#and yeah that's how it goes. that's. literally it. writers cannot keep their relationship consistent in the long term#Dick Grayson#Jason Todd#relationship analysis#anon
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bylertruther · 2 years
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"will shouldn't use a gun in season five because his father probably taught him how to use one and that could be a bad reminder for him" have you considered that will using what was very likely a Bad experience to save his life in what is undoubtedly an even worse experience could be a good thing? have you considered that him using a skill he was forced to learn to save not only himself but (as is likely more important and meaningful to him) the lives of others could give him a sense of usefulness and safety knowing that he isn't defenseless and can stand his and others' ground if need be? especially considering that's a skill that we've only seen hopper and nancy possess, making it that much more valuable and himself more helpful to the group? after everything in s1 and s2, he's probably felt guilty for having endangered them and dozens of other people multiple times, i don't think it'd be out there for him to feel "happy" that he can finally return the favor and protect them for once (especially after having complained about being babied and treated like a doll).
"will doesn't have and shouldn't have powers because that makes him different and he doesn't want to be different" not only are you wrong lol <3 but how have you not noticed that will's entire thing since the very beginning is that he is different and he knows it and while he does get his heart broken over the fact that this means he faces constant unfairness in life, he still refuses to be any other way? will doesn't conform nor does he ever try to even when others try to force or shame him to. he gets frustrated and upset at being treated differently, yes, but he stays true to himself. to battle that feeling he sometimes gets that tells him he's a mistake, a feeling he gets not from his own otherness but from living in a world that Makes it an otherness and thus isolates him for it, he seeks out that which he loves and enjoys and throws himself wholeheartedly at it. will lives his truth and is willing to suffer the consequences for it. he refuses to live in darkness and let it take a hold of him. he holds on to hope and all that makes him feel better for being different. he holds on to art, to dnd, to video games, to his family and his friends, and everything that brings him joy and reminds him that it's okay to be different. in s1 joyce defends will ("he's missing is what he is") and jonathan tells him he shouldn't like things that other people (namely their homophobic dad) try to force him to like, that he should like what he genuinely likes. in s2 jonathan gives will the freak speech and tells him that no one normal ever accomplished anything and mentions bowie. in s3, he doesn't get a speech, (though joyce does tell him that when he falls in love he won't find it gross [avoiding the word girlfriend and leaving it neutral]) but he does face backlash from someone that IS trying to conform and IS shaming will for not letting go of "childish" things aka his interests, what's important to him, and what he wants. does will back down or shy away in shame? no. instead, he lets mike sit in his shame for having said something that hurtful, and he says "yeah. i guess i did. i really did." clearly this is a conversation about what makes will different aka his sexuality bc he goes and destroys castle byers (the safe place he and his brother built once their homophobic dad left which is a place will can be himself unapologetically) with what is likely a bat that lonnie gave him when trying to get him into baseball. he calls himself stupid and donates his dnd books, but i don't see this as an act of conformity (he tells mike as much, suggesting he'll just use his books + if he was ashamed he wouldn't have painted the party as their dnd characters and given it to him of all people lol). he felt stupid because he thought they'd always be crazy together, that they were of the same mind and heart still, and that they had the same brand of "otherness" if you catch my drift. then in s4 we get jonathan's tender "you're my brother and there is nothing absolutely nothing that will ever change that" which is the most direct anyone has ever been about that which makes will different. and he doesn't shy away from it! he doesn't deny it, because we can see from his confession and how he breaks down that he's desperately been wanting and needing to hear that. he accepts that love and allows himself to be held and seen by someone else, as he has every other time. because will doesn't hate being different, he just hates that he has to live in a world where that's seen as wrong and thus makes him feel like he doesn't belong because of it. but he doesn't change himself. he doesn't feel ashamed of it. he doesn't see it as a flaw in himself or others and he never has. will is different and he knows it and he wouldn't have it any other way.
will's story since the beginning has been about being different and going through awful things, and managing to not only find the light in it but also make it out stronger because of it all. it's always been about using what makes him different as a good thing and as something he uses to save himself and others.
will being good with a gun bought him time with whatever kidnapped him. will knowing how to run and hide kept him alive in the upside down. will acted as a spy while possessed and managed not only to save hopper but also tell them how to finish this. will's experiences and senses helped them figure out what was happening in season three. will's love and loyalty inspires mike and manages to bring him to a better place even if just for a moment in the van, and again he's the one that knows vecna's current state, aaaand had he been in hawkins at the time it likely would've gone a lot better because as dustin said "we need will".
taking something awful and turning it into a good thing and a source of strength is a wonderful trope. it's inspiring and empowering not only for the character but for those that could use that hope and reminder that there's always a silver lining, that life isn't all darkness and shadows and hurt. not only that, but it's something that they've literally always done for will since the very beginning. he is the prime character for that. his entire message has always been that it's okay to be different and that you can find strength and peace in that; that the things that make you different aren't a detriment, they're precisely what make you strong. like... i'm sorry, but have you not been paying attention at all whatsoever this entire time or... :/
#some of u heard 'sometimes it makes you feel like a mistake' and just forgot every other season ever it seems like#but idk maybe IM the outlier here lmao#characters like mike steve and eleven i can see the conformity argument for#BUT WILL?!?!?!?#will who has always drawn and listened to his music and wanted to hang out with his friends and play dnd and who#gets made fun of for so many things even by those that mean the world to him but has never ONCE tried to change#anything about who he is over that..... THAT'S who you think thinks being different is a bad thing!?!?!#will who has never lied about being a loner or what he likes or what he wants in life or has dressed like other people want him to#will who specifically has received multiple It's Okay To Be Different speeches and came out of them believing them is the character#that you think hates being different? will who loves mike's nerdy self and thinks the absolute world of him and TELLS HIM AS MUCH AND#CONFESSES HIS GAY LOVE TO DESPITE THE SUMMER OF HOMOPHOBIA AND THE AIRPORT FIASCO AND THAT DREW A#FUCKING HEART ON HIS SHIELD UNABASHEDLY AND CONFESSED IN FRONT OF TWO OTHER PEOPLE TOO ON TOP OF THAT#IN THE EIGHTIES!!!!!!! TO MIKE!!!! WHO COULDNT TOUCH HIM AND HAS A CONSERVATIVE FAMILY AND DIDNT TALK TO HIM FOR A YEAR#IS WHO YOU THINK HATES BEING DIFFERENT . HELLO#literally everything that he goes through is turned into something 'good' because that's the POINT!!!!#HE DOESN'T WANT TO BE NORMAL!!! HE IS NOT THE CHARACTER U SHOULD BE MAKING THOSE ARGUMENTS FOR LMAO#jus say u don't want him to have powers bro don't be lying on my blorbito's name like that 😭😭😭😭😭#anyway. crazed frenzy is over im normal now <3#u kno how the long and all too passionate bordering on Is This Bitch Okay mobile posts go#back to being offline now byeeeee 🏃‍♀️
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softquietsteadylove · 2 months
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Hey could I ask for a Thenamesh human au were Thena is raising her little sisters (Sersi and Sprite) after their parents die and Gilgamesh is her co-worker who finds her having a mini breakdown and comforts her? Kinda slow burn-ish and no smut if possible
"Sorry!"
Thena pressed even harder on her eyebrows, sure she would get bruises from it. Maybe then she might actually get medical clearance for time off. "It's fine."
"I didn't mean-"
"It's fine!" she snapped at him again, shifting to swipe at the corners of her eyes and wipe the tears onto her fingertips and then on the sleeves of her cardigan. "I was just...looking for something."
But all she heard was the door shutting gently.
Thena sighed, picking her head up and looking around the shelves. All that was in here was extra paper and printer ink. "Gil, I'm fine."
Gil was sweet, if a little too sweet. He went out of his way for people, which their firm really discouraged. But he was going into family law, which was easy to tell from the 'everything' about him.
"Yeah, I just, uh," she heard him shuffle around before finally turning to glare at him. Her glower was usually strong enough to scare away anyone else. He pointed at the shelf of toner. "Printer."
She closed her eyes, feeling the throbbing in her head from her coffee and the twitch in her eyes from her need for sleep. But they had a lot of contracts to examine, and Sersi was in the middle of the soccer season, which meant she didn't even get home until 6, which pushed dinner to 7 and that said nothing about homework and getting Sprite to bed at a decent hour.
"Um," Gilgamesh gulped, tugging at the suit he was wearing. It was standard attire for the firm, of course, but she always imagined he had a hard time finding suits to really fit him. Perhaps he needed shirts and Jackets in one fitting and trousers in a smaller one. "How was Sersi's game?"
She whipped her head up at him, and she must have looked ready for murder by the way he flinched. "What?"
He went stiff as a board, practically pressing his back to the door. "S-Sersi--your sister, you said she had a soccer game on friday. H-How did it go...if that's okay."
Right, friday; she had rushed home from work, still with half a day's work to complete, picked up Sprite, gotten her not to gripe all through grocery shopping, bundled her up for Sersi's game, which was a loss, and it was a hard loss, and Sersi got a few scrapes and bruises, so then they were both a little cranky for the start of the weekend, and of course that meant she didn't actually get any work done-
"Thena?"
She blinked, feeling as if she had gone somewhere else entirely. This was getting ridiculous. She just needed coffee, she reasoned. Even more coffee. She shook her head.
"Hey," he whispered, not moving from the door to let her out, despite her moving closer. "Are you okay? I know you're...I know you've got a lot on your plate."
A lot on her plate? She had that already with this job and the beginnings of her career. Her student debt alone would be more than a full plate.
That was before handling a joint funeral, and counselling for her sisters, and getting them back to school, and a full year of them not being themselves. And then, when they finally seem to be getting better, both of them start having the worst time with school in their lives.
Or maybe their mother was just better at dealing with it than Thena could say for herself. And while their father wasn't exactly her favourite person, let alone parent, her first year of filing her taxes with two dependants was enough for her to look into a decent accountant for this year.
"Listen, I know you've got this under control," Gil continued, visibly worried about saying the wrong thing. "I know you're tougher than I could ever imagine."
She really didn't know about that.
"But if you need--I mean, if you ever want a hand with anything, or even just logistics, or carpooling or something," he suggested, losing confidence with every new idea. His massive shoulders drooped and he gave her those big, sad puppy dog eyes that always got him the best desk and the best cases and the best lunch, "just let me know, y'know?"
Thena gulped. Heat rose up in her as the horror of her tears resurfaced. She was done crying. It was the middle of the work day. She didn't have time for this. This had never been an issue before.
Can we have lasagne?
Just that simple text from Sprite had set her off. Because Sprite loved lasagne--she loved their mother's lasagne. And for an entire year Sprite couldn't even stand hearing the word, let alone the sight of it. And to have her ask for it, when they all knew that Thena was somehow the worst cook of all three of them.
Gil blinked as Thena dropped her head, squeezing her eyes shut and pressing her hand over her eyebrows again. His hands hovered around her, never crossing the last few inches of boundary she held.
Thena was just as shocked as she leaned froward and her forehead met something firm. But she couldn't choke it all back, a squeak escaping her as her tears dropped to the musty old storage closet carpet below.
"Hey," he whispered soothingly. Of course the bastard was great at comforting people too. Why wouldn't he be? Why wouldn't he be so completely perfect? "It'll be okay."
She usually hated when people spoke so certainly. Because what did they know? What assurance did they have? But Gil meant well. He only ever meant well. Her breathing slowed and she realised she was truly letting him embrace her. What an unfortunate turn this had taken. But he was warm, and he smelled nice. And it felt nice when he rubbed her back.
Gil let her pull away, not making a grand affair out of the whole thing. He brushed away a few more tears of hers, "you okay?"
She nodded. She was far, far from it. But she could probably get through the rest of the work day without humiliating herself further. Her throat felt dry as a bone. "Thank you."
Gil tilted his head at her. He did give off the first impression that he would be some meathead, into his own looks and loud and brash and hypermasculine. But he was kind, he was considerate of others and his good nature only made him more sensitive to those around him. "I mean it, Thena, if there's anything you need at all."
He was one of only a few who even knew about her sisters. She didn't really go around announcing her past, and she wasn't one for keeping precious personal keepsakes on her desk either. But Gil had once seen her phone light up with a notification and asked who the girls on her lockscreen were.
And as much as she could have told him to mind his own business - and he would have, knowing him - it seemed worse to ignore it. So she had told him about her sisters, and how she had basically acquired them as children, as far as the state was concerned.
The biggest advantage to Gilgamesh knowing about her duties outside the office was that he was her biggest defender whenever she couldn't make events outside of work. Of course a lot of deals happened out of the office as well as in, and being able to seal those deals came with the job. But Gil always had an excuse ready for her when she couldn't join them for drinks after work, or make a round of golf or two on sunday morning.
He smiled as she finally picked her head up. "There she is."
She chose to ignore that. She sniffled, dabbing at her eyes again. If anyone asked her if she was okay once she stepped out of this closet, she might commit an act worthy of termination. "Thanks."
"Any time," he shrugged. He still didn't leave. "I saw you get up from your desk. I thought-"
Silence came over him, perhaps at the admission that he had all but followed her here. Any other coworker and she would have her keys in her hand and a knife with his car's name on it. But only Gilgamesh could say something like that and have it be just as innocent as he meant it.
"Sorry," he concluded, having discouraged himself yet again. He blushed.
She truly was a bitch of epic proportions to inspire this level of fear from the sweetest man alive, she gathered. Usually that wasn't a problem, of course, but just this once: it was undeserved. "That's nice of you, Gil."
That seemed to surprise him even more than walking in on her crying in the closet.
She finally reached for the doorknob, and Gil nearly leapt out of her way. She headed back to her desk, with the same papers in hand as when she had first gone in. At least at her desk, she could take a breath. Her computer was still open on emails, she set the papers beside her.
Of course
She replied to Sprite, although if she got more texts she was just going to tell her not to text in class.
If her sister wanted lasagne, then she would find a way to make it happen. Affection was not her most polished skill, but love needed no polishing. If her baby sister wanted lasagne, she would have it.
If only she weren't a horrendously bad cook.
Sersi was decent, but she only ever let her help when Sersi herself seemed eager to do so, and that was usually on weekends. And Ajak was an excellent cook. Her handwritten recipes alone would not help Thena actually produce the promised product.
Thena picked up her phone again. She scrolled until she could select the contact in her phone. Perhaps it was silly to text him when his desk was in sight of hers. She was just in a closet with the man. But she selected his name and typed.
Can you make lasagne?
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goquokka00 · 20 hours
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The Little Things (Felix Ver.)
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The small things he does every day that make you feel oh, so special.
Bangchan | Minho | Changbin | Hyunjin
Jisung | Felix | Seungmin | Jeongin
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| Massages |
We all know that Felix gives absolutely killer massages. And he wouldn't hesitate to give you one on the dot if you asked him to. If I'm being completely honest, I think that Felix would give you one if he felt you needed it, too.
If you come home from a long day of work, or if you're stressed or tired, Felix will sit you down and just give you a massage to help you relax all of your tense muscles from the day. Of course, he'd slip in a kiss or two on your back, too. Every here and there, he'd check in to make sure you're doing okay, smile, and then gently kiss your shoulder or back before continuing.
Felix would also ask you about your day while he worked at your knotted muscles. Ask you what had happened to make you tense. He'd listen to every single word, giving his feedback and thoughts. He just wants you to not have any weight on you. Whether it was physical or mental. He's always gonna make sure you're okay.
| HUGS!! |
We all know that Felix is a huggable person. That, and he's a hugger. This man hugs his other members any chance he gets. You are no acception. Any chance he gets, he hugs you. Hell, he even warned you that he was a hugger when you both first started going out, so you knew what you were signing up for.
This man will literally use any excuse to hug you, too. You make him laugh? He's hugging you. You're being cute? He's hugging you. You made a delicious meal? He's hugging you. You're upset about something? He's hugging you. He's upset about something? Take a wild guess as to what I'm gonna say.
Felix is 100% hugging you if you're upset, though. It doesn't matter how serious or unserious it is. The same goes if he's feeling down. And he's not letting go until he's feeling better, or you're feeling better. Once you're okay, he'll loosen his grip, but he still won't let go. Rather, he'll talk things out with you and make sure you're not sad anymore. And then he'll let go, only to start cuddling you on the couch.
| Language Switching |
Felix is multilingual. That's a given. But if his lover was also bilingual or multilingual, I think that language switching would definitely be a thing. Mainly, you both would be switching between Korean and English. One little bit of the conversation would be in Korean, then the next moment, you're speaking in English.
I definitely think that there would be times where you both would be in public and wouldn't want anyone to really understand what you guys were talking about, and so you'd switch languages depending on where you were. Just so then you could both stay where you were, but not have to worry about anyone eavesdropping.
It's also a great way for you both to stay sharp in the languages you both know. You don't really have to worry about losing any accents you might have, but it also helps you both remember things in each language or remind the other what something means. And if you both can't remember the word for something, then you both have fun trying to remember together.
| Bakes with You |
Y'all, I can't express the amount that I want to bake with Felix. And it's exactly why I think that Felix would want to bake with you. He'd show you how to make his brownies and cookies, and you'd both have a lot of fun doing it, too. Because let's be real here, neither of you would take it seriously in the slightest. You'd try, but you know that it won't last for long.
Flour will be blown towards each other, batter will be booped on noses, messes will be made. You'd both laugh hysterically with each other, though. It'd be a good time. Hell, you'd both have fun cleaning up the mess you made, too.
I also believe that you and Felix would take a ton of pictures while baking with each other. Some of these pictures would be posted on bubble, but only the ones that were of Felix. If he wanted to post one of you in the picture as well, he'd ask permission first. Because you being comfortable is always number one to him.
| Lets You Style His Hair |
Since Felix is currently growing his hair out, I feel like it gets annoying sometimes. And so, he goes to you to help him put it up. You know what you're doing, anyway. And having his hair done is relaxing to him, especially when you spend the first few minutes just running your hands through it and gently massaging his scalp.
I think Felix would sometimes ask you to teach him how to do certain things with his long hair, too. Like how to do different braids. He might struggle with tired arms halfway through, though. And so he'll end up just having you take over. He'll still pay attention to what you're doing. He's just not used to holding his arms up at that certain angle for how long.
Even if he did eventually learn and was capable of doing it himself, he'd still prefer for you to do it. There's just something in the way you do his hair in such a caring way. It's so sweet and gentle, and it's also such a nice bonding time, too. Felix can just rant about whatever's on his mind and you'll happily listen. It's definitely one of his favorite things to do with you.
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Hey! Firstly, thank you so much for reading this post, and I really hope you enjoyed! If you did, please like, reblog, or comment so I can see how I'm doing with writing and getting feedback! I hope you have a lovely day! Sleep well, stay in good health, and eat something if you haven't! ❤️❤️❤️
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eatingfood · 2 years
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your superhero AU has broken my heart 💔💔💔 protective Ted is so important to me
thank you!! ive been enjoying playing with it. and yeah!! like. i just. protective, pining ted and trent's like i am NOT a damsel!! (<- in this instance, is, in fact, a damsel. he will make an exception for one (1) person)
and like more seriously just. the trust it's about the trust!!! trent doesn't rely on anyone and he gets himself out of bad situations and he's lowkey terrified of this hero who's got him cornered and he's been in this horrible situation for so long but then it's ted and he immediately relaxes. and ted--you know ted realized they had trent and immediately panicked and was ready to just bust in there and it was only beard holding him back and making him be practical about it that didnt have him just bursting through the walls ten minutes after realizing. and him realizing trent trusts him.... holding him and being like oh. i can protect him this way and i can comfort him this way and it's working... augh
anyway im glad you like it 😩
#listen. im a simple man. sometimes i want to write my blorbo being battered and scared getting rescued#but it doesnt always make sense for whatever fandom it is so. hence. elaborate au#admittedly that wasn't my sole motivation for writing it or anything but it was up there.#ANYWAY can you blame him?#trents like im a reporter and a damn good one villains literally hate kidnapping me because im the worst hostage and heroes hate rescuing m#bc i am no fucking damsel.#and then ted 'tenderly holds him as he rescues him and asks him so so softly if hes okay with big warm brown eyes' lasso comes along#and its like. okay so i can get out on my own or i can let my crush simply cradle me in his beefy arms and carry me home. hmm#(im being silly ofc but it also has a lot more to do with like. the actual circumstances. but i think that if trent got kidnapped in the re#regular way where hes just rolling his eyes bc this is How The Game Goes ted would show up and he'd be like#oh nooooo look ive been tied up.... (glances down then sticks hands back in ropes) oh nooooo#and the villains like what the h--#please actually now a crack version of this au where trent just lets himself get kidnapped so ted can rescue him and they're the world's mo#most obnoxious couple. villains stop kidnapping him entirely bc then that one hero just shows up and they banter--totally ignoring the vill#villain--for like ten whole minutes while beard quietly dismantles the villain's shit behind them#ANYWAY IM SORRY IVE GOTTEN OFF TRACK#askbox#anonymous#superhero au
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kahin · 2 months
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sort of thinking abt. how suicidal i've been since. the move here. i cant stand living here another day if i have to go outside and interact with people who clearly dont seem to give a shit about me n dont ACTUALLY care abt my culture or my people / brothers and sisters im going to fucking pop.
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