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#okay now obviously i could make a super accurate actual version of this using a wider variety of pics
skitskatdacat63 · 6 months
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2011 British gp Fernando is such a mood...
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mochinon-yah · 10 days
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I just realized we all technically have the power to ask any questions on this site, and I never got to doing it. So....
[Points S.E.E.S evoker at you]
Who are the fictional characters you ship your mutuals to? Doesn't have to be necessarily their self-ship. I am deadass curious. Spill the tea, Imbibitor's lover—
We can lower that down, brynn- no need to get all aggressive now-
*cough* ANYWAY!
I'll list them down below, and if they're not accurate or you're actually gonna fight them rather than making out with the characters that i chose then yeah, that is probably my plan 😀 /silly
Oh and! I'll mostly be using genshin and hsr characters because yeah-
@beloved-brynn -> heizou and ratio. NGL, YOU + HEIZOU, OR YOU + RATIO, OR EVEN THE THREE OF YOU WOULD TOTALLY BE SO FUNNY AND CHAOTIC 😭☝️ they can counter your wild statements while also being the (somewhat) saner one but could also say smth wild as well. I could see you and one of em (possibly ratio) be like "oh yeah, the other day, i was eating my lunch while watching that gorey movie-" "what." "yeah, i was hungry at that time, so like why not yk-" (this is based on my real experience guys, guess which dialogue is me lmao)
@meimeimeirin -> hmmmm, koh zhongli maybe? Okay, let me tell you the reason why... it's simply because she NEEDS someone who can pamper her! I don't know where that conclusion came from, but yeah. Anyway, if we're talking about other characters, then i think welt, or even zayne from lnd could fit. Basically: "I need someone older, just a little bit colder." lmao (oh, mochi, did this conclusion came up because you know rin's the youngest in her family and now you ship her with men older (and more experienced) than her? whaatt... ofc not, haha-)
@leftdestiny-posts -> absolutely cannot see them with anyone other than dottore. Cute and kind but is secretly crazy "i want to watch the world burn" x The human version of the word 'crazy' "as you wish, my love" would be their dynamic, i suppose...? WAIT OH! I can actually see shiro with ayato or maybe sunday! I bet they would like such a cute, innocent-looking darling to control, but then they would get so surprised and maybe super interested into trying to control the darling despite how crazy the darling actually is- (shiro ily, if ur crazy then we can be crazy together 💐)
@navxry -> arlechinno, and maybe black swan. Yeah, that's it. No explanation needed.
@jessamine-rose -> hmmm, would it be weird if i say capitano? I don't know why or how did i get to that conclusion, but yeah. And maybe blade? IDK WHY I'M PARTNERING HER WITH CRAY CRAY MEN- SORRY JESS, I (subconsciously) THINK YOU CAN LIKE CALM THEM OR SMTH AJFIAWOF-
@stardust-for-your-soul -> funnily enough, i can see her with aventurine. They'll say sweet words that probably have a double meaning and also probably have a teeny tiny bit (maybe a lot lmao) of 'enemies to lovers' moment. (wow, cherry, your new bf is a gambler- /smack). But anyway, i could also see her be with march 7th who is so bubbly and sweet, and i'd think cherry would love to tease march hehe
@teabutmakeitazure -> ACTUALLY NGL DAN HENG????? He would listen to her ramblings and also help her write her fics. It just sounds so cute in my opinion lol. Other than dan heng (who is obviously the best choice), zuri would probably look into red flag charas, like... yeah, aventurine- but still tho, dan heng! But i get what zuri is thinking tho, red is such a sexy color- /smack
@harmonysanreads -> ngl alhaitham or kaeya would be cute if paired up with her! Idk where did kaeya come from, but when i thought about it, instantly "cute!". I think, harmony has this really 'weird' calming aura that could make those two charas just fell in love with how comfortamble she can make them feel. BUT LIKE IDK THO-
@fishanonishere -> Albedo...... i think? Fish, i know what you are- i mean like as in how chaotic and just how 'what in the world is this person thinking???' you are. With how calming and 'would jump into any interesting topic' he is, i think fish and him could be such a cute duo. Fish's ramblings and their drawings are some of the things that make him really interested in fish
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threestripeslider · 1 year
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The peepaw multiverse is so funny to me because like, how did this happen? Why are they all together? Why is their immediate answer to everything to either band together to protect thier children using thier collective skills and battle strategies or just to simply Cain instinct the hell out of it? Most importantly, why do Leonardo and Leon constantly attempt to kill each other? What provokes them so much about each other than any of the others? I have so many questions and not enough answers
oh boy is it already time for a history lesson SKJDJKDHFKJ–
OKAY! let’s see if i get this right – disclaimer; i am pretty sure i got the whole thing rolling but i am obviously not the sole contributor or uhh idk. the CEO of the Peepaw Multiverse? whatever, i dont hold a monopoly over it KJDBKDHB.
so. obviously a bunch of F!Leo fics started popping up and everyone was just doing their own thing. as i wrote odd man out, i was partially inspired by MNMC – Mutant Ninja Midlife Crisis through which i met CJ. we get to talking and basically just kind of pick each other’s brains a lot when it came to our fics lmao so we started joking about the differences and similarities between Leonardo (OMO) and Leon (MNMC) to which i started making silly little doodles bc those two should actually never meet; they would make each other worse (or better), they are Worsties, they are Besties etc etc etc
anyway. i start posting these doodles just to be a little clown and ppl kind of picked up on it – artists who are fans of either or both fics started contributing to the fun. obviously not all iterations are super accurate, which is pretty fine since honestly? the Peepaw Multiverse is just a fun little separate thing as a kind of reprieve from the emotions the fics might give you LMAO yknow, just kind of a breather.
now, honestly, we have no idea why our Peepaws are the way they are together but idk what do you actually expect from a bunch of traumatized middle-aged men who are suddenly in charge of way too many kids and are now meeting several other version of themselves. in my mind, i think they all just loosen up a lot when it’s just them – without trying to put up a front for the kids, they just. idk. they all just become a lil unhinged i guess LMAO some just want their peace & quiet bc god knows if they can ever get it in a house full of teenagers at their height of puberty, some just want to hang out with guys who actually understand what’s bothering them. they could do group therapy or, yknow, make each other worse, idk you choose i guess, whichever is more entertaining RIP.
as to Leonardo and Leon specifically...in short; Leonardo is annoying with his Fake Smiley Bastard attitude doing the whole Conceal, Don’t Feel bit, so Leon just kind of tolerates him. unfortunately Leonardo kind of just never leaves and starts to grown on Leon like mold HJASDJHB all in all they have a very Cain Instinct-induced friendship in which Leon would sell Leonardo to Satan for one corn chip, but also if anyone other than him bullies Leonardo, Leon will kill you probably.
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Some random selfship meme?
I can’t find it anymore, but there was this meme for self-shipping I saw somewhere that basically said:
Step 1: Open Spotify Step 2: Go to your liked songs Step 3: Turn on shuffle Step 4: Start playing the playlist. Step 5: Think of a f/o before the songs start, that song (Given it has lyrics and isn't fandom-related.) will describe your relationship with that F/O.
For fun, I decided to do it, and uh-...
-Advanced warning! Some of these songs contain swearing, and the song for Aaravos is slightly suggestive in places-
Loki Odinson:
   UHHHHH- while the original song I find fairly endearing, this version? It honestly gives me some thriller/stalker vibes, which is not a good sign. Based on the lyrics though? ‘My only friend was a stray kitty’ especially? I’m getting the feeling that in this instance, I’m the stalker. Oh, no-
Scarecrow/Jonathan Crane:
   Oooh, I love Mother Mother songs. Let's see... Well, I gotta say, it does have Scarecrow's vibe. The song is about trying to force change in yourself, but said change isn't working (And you end up hurting yourself by trying to in the process.) Or...at least that's my read of it.
   So, Someone tried to change themselves for the relationship and it didn't work, which ended up hurting them? Sounds like a failed villain redemption and subsequent relapse to me. (Try to be not a villain for your civilian partner, only to end up turning around later type of thing?) ...So, I'm gonna assume this is BTAS Scarecrow, then-
Brahms Heelshire:
   I- I mean... well first of all, the 'dressed in green' line would imply that Brahms is the frog, seeing as his cardigan's green and I never wear green, in fact, I usually wear black or brown, which are actual scorpion colours anyway-
Tomura Shigaraki:
   Ooooh, that's a nice match. Honestly, yeah, it kind of feels that way, especially with what quirk I gave my S/I, and Shiggo's quirk as well. 
   Sounds like someone attempting to coerce someone else into joining a ‘team’, only to finally open their heart to said person, and right then, that person they coerced gets hurt because they were joining that team? Idk, maybe you could replace that 'team' thing with the LOV? (Or the Paranormal liberation front?) Either way, sounds angsty, I'm in!
Aaravos:
   Well, that's certainly not what I expected-
   Okay, so what am I getting from this... Well, duality first of all, perhaps indecisiveness? So this is probably talking about me then, haha. Honestly from that context, this makes way more sense.
Newt Scamander:
   Yeah, I feel like the lyrics on this one are pretty self-explanatory. Person the song is in pov of was in a bad relationship before and they’re scared to be open to their new lover.
   Honestly, in the context of this involving Newt, it reminds me of this 'x reader fic' I came across at one point, that involved the reader coming home from fighting in WW2 and being severely affected by it. It was pretty good all things considered.
Prince Stolas:
   Wait, isn't this song about being trans? Regardless, lyrics-wise sounds pretty accurate, to me at least, especially in the story I gave him with my S/I. Poor man didn't deserve all that hardship, he only has his daughter and his man and me, now.
Viktor (Arcane)
   I swear to god, it was on shuffle, I promise- What a coincidence that it ended up being the awesome song from his own source! Though, that doesn't bode well for the relationship, I guess. Sounds like it'll be angsty, oh no. But then again, knowing who Viktor is, I suppose that's kind of a given.
   I get vibes of 'everything is crumbling down around us, so let's spend these last few moments of normalcy together' from this match up. (Which should make sense with where Viktor ends up going in LOL lore.)
Rook Blonco:
   I can't say I expected this one either. I also can't say I'm super clear on who in this dynamic would be the one who's pov this song is from here?
   Obviously, more angst. The song is about changing yourself for someone you love, a theme we saw with Scarecrow as well. Hmm, there's a lot more angst here than I expected...
Vilkas (Skyrim):
   Oh no. Vilkas, hun, don't say shit like this, you're breaking your husband's heart- 
   Bad snippet of the song since you can’t actually hear any lyrics, but yeah. Nothing like a little bit of ‘I don’t think they’d really love me’ to get the heart wrenching, right?
Anyway, though!
   That's all the ones I'll do for now, trying to figure out how to embed stuff like this frustrated me, so- Yeah.
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freddiekluger · 3 years
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please drop the essay length analysis Judas and Jesus (extra gay Swedish edition), O great and knowledgeable monarch of our times
alright, you ask i deliver! please excuse any typos, my eyes aren't exactly working rn
welcome to my probably super subjective but correct analysis, aka
Judas Was Right and Jesus Was A Victim (At Least, In Swedish)
Before we get started, a couple points: i’ll try to avoid comparisons to other specific productions, i’ve only seen the other recorded 2012 british version which i didn’t like for reasons including but not limited to the amount of white people with dreadlocks. Also, my understanding of swedish is limited to a couple words and phrases, so most of the lyrics i reference will be english subtitles from Ola Salo’s swedish translation and therefore might not be the most accurate !
There’s so much i could cover in this, but for now i’m going to focus on how jesus and judas are portrayed in the 2014 swedish arena tour of Jesus Christ Superstar (JCS) starring Ola Salo as Jesus and Peter Johansson as Judas, along with how this production more implicitly views god. 
From the opening number, translated into swedish as En Dimmig Himmelsdröm (A Foggy Heaven’s Dream), Peter Johansson’s acting and semantic differences in the lyrics present us with a deeply sympathetic portrayal of Judas. Looking purely at language, the english equivalent Heaven On Their Minds instantly paints Judas as much more of a faithless doubter- lyrics exclusive to the english version like “all your followers have gone blind / too much heaven on their minds” and “they think you’re the new messiah / and they’ll hurt you when they find they’re wrong” strongly enforce Judas’ main motivation for his actions being that he has less belief in Jesus and God’s plan than any of the other disciples with strong statements judging the other disciples for following him and claiming that Jesus ISN’T the messiah. The swedish translation doesn’t paint exactly the same picture- the focus of Judas’ number becomes his fear for Jesus’ wellbeing, not because he isn’t the messiah (the production remains fairly ambiguous on this point), but because Jesus can’t cope. The root of Judas’ concern comes from fear for Jesus’ wellbeing, and the disciples are referenced as regularly misunderstanding and wilfully twisting Jesus’ words. The swedish equivalent lyrics for the above examples are “they say, “jesus is god’s son” / but you know how people can change” (judas isn’t concerned with truth, just the danger that jesus will be in if the tide turns), and “the kingdom of heaven is within us, that’s what you said / bu they sew it, stitch by stich into some kind of foggy heaven’s dream”. Judas is showing that he HAS been listening and cares for Jesus’ teachings, but ‘they’ [his disciples] are turning them into something else entirely, and Judas’ worries that the support of the masses is fragile at best- the lines “and everything you say gets twisted by your lackeys / it will be anything but what you’ve said”  and “you are being used by people who want you in their battle” reinforces this again. When combined with Peter Johansson’s tough but tender performance, in which he dances between disdain for Jesus, the institution, and affection for Jesus, the man (an important distinction), Judas is the harsh realist doing his best to look out for the man he loves. The way he takes Jesus hands and looks at him with love and urgency straight away establishes that his motivations are pure- Judas is doing what he thinks is best, even though it feels like no one will listen to him. 
That was long, but En Dimmig Himmelsdröm is the perfect character introduction for Judas. He’s not totally unrecognisable, still delivering digs about ‘Jesus, the little carpenter’s son’, his manner is still rough and at this point we’re not sure whether or not the claims he makes about the disciples have any truth to them, BUT we can also see how much Jesus means to him, an important point that give context to the intensity of their future arguments and really makes the whole story much more heartbreaking.
This brings me to Ola Salo’s Jesus. Delightfully camp and queercoded, Judas describes him as being caught up in his own magic and mystery and buckling under the pressure, and he’s not entirely wrong. Throughout the first act, Jesus basks in the luxuries that being messiah can give him (the oils Mary paid for using disciple funds that were supposed to go towards helping the poor, him absolutely thriving in the shopping cart in What’s the Buzz?), and is shown actively avoiding any reminders of the seriousness of his position. He’s sick of the disciples asking him for a plan, he chooses the comforting Mary, who’s theme consists of telling Jesus everything is okay and he doesn’t need to think about anything, over Judas, who is less perhaps ‘cosy’ but is actively trying to warn and protect Jesus from an awful fate. During The Temple, he starts to crack as he’s overcome by the followers begging him to make him well, fear in his eyes as he raises his arms while frozen on the spot trying to avoid being devoured by the frenzy in desperate need of a messiah. Judas’ point about Jesus buckling under the pressure is starting to look more and more reasonable, and the dashes of showbiz campness add to the sense that much of Jesus is a persona constructed for the masses to give himself enough distance to prevent him from being crushed by the weight of God entirely. Jesus, the institution, prances around, lays his hands on his followers, and projects an air of easygoing calm. Jesus, the man, is scared and alone, and Jesus, the man, really comes out in Last Supper, but before we get there, I want to circle back to the Jesus/Mary/Judas thing.
Jesus, Mary, and Judas are presented as a love triangle: so much so, that Judas seeing Mary sing of her love for Jesus (I Don’t Know How To Love Him) is actually played as the inciting incident that sends him to the pharisees. Judas, the picture of the jealous lover, storms onto the scene, breaking them up and attempting to kiss Jesus, who instead shoves him to the ground in disdain. Judas, who is perhaps a little controlling, realises that any influence he had over Jesus has gone, and it’s likely a combination of jealousy and the knowledge that Jesus won’t stop that prompts him to head to the pharisees. In his meeting with the pharisees (known in english as Damned For All Time, although that phrase doesn’t appear once in the swedish), Judas’ expresses outright that “I’m the one who sees / Jesus, he can’t handle it anymore” “the truth is that this hysteria is making him lose control”, once he can get past explaining how much this plan of action feels like a last resort. He never even verbally or physically accept the pharisees’ offer of money, he denies it twice before it is eventually thrown over him after he reluctantly gives them the date and time to find Jesus- we never even see him pick it up, unlike other productions which show Judas grabbing for the cash and place a higher emphasis on Judas making sure he ‘won’t be damned for all time’, painting Judas as far more self serving. When it comes to Jesus, Judas is active- he’s running around trying to help, caressing him, embracing him, grabbing his hand, kissing him. They share countless moment of intimacy, especially at the start, establishing the fondness between them instead of instantly jumping to their conflict. When it comes to Mary (and admittedly, this is partially because she’s a secondary character- don’t get me wrong I still love her and Gunilla Backman does a brilliant job), she’s much more passive. Other than the much more gentle kisses in I Don’t Know How To Love Him and her penchant for dabbing Jesus’ forehead, she’s mostly just ‘there’. She cares for Jesus after the fact, and even when performing acts of intimacy like the oil and the kiss, she maintains a lot of physical distance- her songs touch on this as, much like Jesus (admittedly for different reasons), she actively distances herself from feelings to protect herself, so naturally she literally places distance between herself and the object of her love.
This brings me back to Last Supper, Gethsemane ( I Only Want to Say), and the kiss of death that broke all of our hearts. Throughout this segment, this is when Jesus, the man, really comes through, and it’s devastating. In Last Supper, he properly expresses the sheer amount of loneliness he feels, reiterating how he feels everyone will forget about him once he’s gone, and doesn’t really care about him as a man (”for you, my blood is not worth more than wine / for you, my body is not worth more than bread” “you will have forgotten me as soon as i give up my life”). This devolves into the disciples fighting each other and, you guessed it, ignoring him. For the first time, Jesus meaningfully lets out his anger, and as it turns to Judas, Judas does the same. Because of the set up of their complicated romantic relationship and the stakes involved, the amount of personal attacks and anger that comes out of Jesus and Judas’ repeated fights (which get physical) make complete sense- Jesus’ frustrations come from the fact that his entire fate has been predetermined and to him, Judas is just another instrument in the ways he’s been controlled (both with Judas being his betrayer, but also the way that Judas’ constant advice and interference with Jesus’ life (most obviously, the mary thing) are acted by Ola Salo as becoming increasingly frustrating to Jesus)- these frustrations are directed at their real cause, God, in Gethsemane. Judas’ frustrations come from the fact that no matter how hard he tries to help Jesus and keep him safe, Jesus keeps rejecting his efforts resulting in “all that we’ve built up [being] destroyed”- Judas’ heart hasn’t just been broken by Jesus rejecting him romantically, but on every level. Here, he’s actually shown to be the disciple most passionate about helping people practically and long term, being the only one concerned about Mary taking money which was supposed to help people, manipulated by the pharisees with the promise of doing good for the masses, and criticising Jesus for how they could be doing so much for people, ending his part of Last Supper with “every time i look at you i ask myself why you let all your things go so wrong? / all i ever wanted was to help you”. 
This is also the point where Judas’ claims about the disciples are essentially confirmed, and this productions intent to portray Judas as more of a tragic hero become absolutely clear. In the english version, the disciples chorus remains virtually the same each time it appears, generally being far too calm considering their leader is about to die, revealing their aspirations to be apostles, and their intent to write the gospels to be remembered. the swedish translation still achieve this, but with variations from chorus to chorus it becomes much more poignant. i’m just going to stick to ttwo, which are choruses 1 and 3. In chorus 1, lines roughly translate to “i’ve always wanted to be an apostle / life is so nice when you’re saved/ then when we’ve got time we’ll write the gospels / then everything will be the way we want”-  the apostles declaring that life is so good when you’re saved supports Judas’ opening statement that they care more about some idea of heaven than anything else, not to mention ignoring the absolute horrors that Jesus will have to go through to be saved, while the final line about the gospels introduces their intent to change whichever details they need to make ‘everything the way we want’: once again, exactly what Judas warned us of in En Dimmig Himmelsdröm. In chorus 3, taking place after Judas storms out for the last time, these lines change to “never really liked that judas / never saw what jesus saw in him / then, when we’ve got time we’ll write the gospels / and we’ll angle it so he gets all the blame”. Judas as a sympathetic character is confirmed here, as the disciples straight up admit how they don’t like Judas anyways and intend to write him as a villain (also inadvertently admitting that, since they have to write the gospels to make it look like only Judas’ fault, Judas isn’t really the sole one responsible for everything that is to come). It’s deeply unsettling, and for me was the point where I really began to question how good any of these disciples were, and by extension, how good is this production’s God if his truly sanctified followers are acting like this?
Jesus vents out all of his anger and desperation in Gethsemane. He acknowledges his own powerlessness and begs him to change the plan, but with the dark stage and no response (along with Ola Salo’s spectacular acting) it becomes clear that if anyone is there, they’re certainly not listening (”you, who have all the power / can you please change the plan / for i can already feel the pain burning in me”). It’s worth mentioning that a lot of the imagery in this swedish version is much more intense than the english, both in this song and the production as a whole. Jesus plainly calls god “thoughtless”, begging to understand, and it’s that this point we realise that he agrees with much more of what Judas has been saying than he’s been letting on- Jesus’ faith appears to be the only thing keeping him from listening to Judas and running away. Judas’ messages about people misunderstanding Jesus’ words also come out (”you care that everyone sees / but not that anyone understands”), and his eventual agreeing to die is played less as an inspiring act of faith, and more an act of desperation as he realises, he realise has no other choice. In this song, we see just how much of Judas Jesus has valued and taken on board, and that his air of carefree aloofness which frustrated Judas was, as we’ve already touched on, a complete act. The line “might as well finish what i’ve... what YOU’VE started” is absolutely miserable, reinforcing one of the major themes of this production: the idea that Jesus and Judas were both just ordinary men tormented by futures defined by forces out of their control. Just as Jesus has absorbed Judas’ logic, as an audience so we have, and it’s difficult to view the rest of the play’s events as anything other than an immense and unnecessary act of cruelty.
we’re almost done i promise!
Even knowing what Judas has/will do, Jesus still greets him with love. Judas, still under the impression that Jesus will be okay and that he’s doing what’s best, approaches him with the utmost tenderness, and the kiss is a beautiful signifier of two things. For Jesus, the return of his love for Judas shows his realisation in Gethsemane that Judas isn’t the one who’s sealed his fate and has only being trying to help, it’s god himself who has decided Jesus’ future. For Judas, the kiss shows that despite all of the anger and frustration that has been pouring out of him, he truly does love Jesus, and the way he cradles the scared and alone Jesus to his chest afterwards shows just how much he wishes he could be the one to help him and keep him close. Even with all their arguments and dysfunction, here Jesus and Judas find comfort in each other, and it almost seems like everything will end up alright. It’s in this moment that Judas and Jesus are most identifiable not as enemies, or as villain and hero, but as archetypal lovers from a Shakespearean tragedy. Neither of them set out to hurt each other, but through miscommunications, their own flaws, and external forces (both natural and supernatural), their love is simply never to be. Furthermore, in the following torture and spectacle, everything that Judas predicted for Jesus is about to come true. Another detail I find interesting is the way that Jesus and Judas both sport black nail polish, leather pants, and similar length hair: along with just looking cool as hell, the similarities really reinforce how close they are and how much they influence each other- it feels like a contemporary version of carrying a cameo or a lock of your lover's hair with you, a way for 'star crossed lovers' to keep a piece of their beloved no matter what.
The disaffected persona of Jesus, the institution, comes back as he’s taken by the authorities and subsequently insulted, degraded, and whipped. Also the swedish version of The Arrest, when the chorus starts singing questions, contains this dick joke and I think we all deserve it: “why were you dating a whore? / talk about a huge magic wand!”
Skipping forward to Judas’ Death, this is where both his character and the production’s conception of god beautifully (and miserably) align. When Judas runs to the pharisees, minor semantic changes (along with the genuine concern and great acting from Peter Johansson) reinforce that this Judas genuinely didn’t know that Jesus would be beaten and sentenced to death the way he has been, and Judas’ concern regarding how things look is played less as ‘oh no people will hate ME!’, but how having sentenced the man you love to death is one nightmarish thing, but for everyone to think you did it knowingly and willingly and then congratulate you for it is unthinkable. Where the english shows Judas’ attempting to evade responsibility for Jesus death, the swedish is more focused on Judas’ guilt, horror, and regret. The english “I’d save him all the suffering if I could / don’t believe our good / save him if I could” is swapped in swedish for “If anyone should die here I should / don’t say I’m good / better if I died”. While the english statements are somewhat empty (sure, Judas says he’d save Jesus’ suffering if he could, but he can’t so we’ll never truly know) and are still focused on Judas’ attempt to construct himself as a good guy, the swedish translation has Judas admit his guilt (even if it’s not really his fault), and make the promise of “better if i died” which, given the name of this sequence, he later delivers on. When english Judas sings “Christ, I’d sell out the nation / For I have been saddled with the murder of you”, swedish Judas sings “Jesus, I’ve been deceived / because of my act your blood’s now being spilt”, and instead of ending this first section with “I should be dragged through the slime and the mud”, swedish jesus returns to the theme of character assasination with “i will be cursed as the one behind your murder”. 
The swedish translation of the next rework of I Don’t Know How to Love Him also places much more emphasis on Judas’ genuine romantic love for Jesus- we’d be here for hours if i listed everything but here are a few key contrasts. The english has Judas sing “I don’t know how to love him /  I don’t know why he moves me”, whereas the swedish has Judas crying while singing “how do I show my love / all I want is to be close to you”. Along with acknowledging Judas already loves Jesus, the entirety of this segment is shifted from Judas singing about Jesus in the third person ‘he’, to a direct address. Judas isn’t performing his sadness, or venting his emotions, he’s emitting one last desperate cry to the man he loves as he sobs on a stage completely shrouded in darkness, and it’s devastating. Peter Johansson lets his voice run raw as he’s belting, and interrupts lines with sobs, and this Judas answers the question of “do you love me too? do you care for me?” with a quiet “no”- Judas is about to go to his death convinced Jesus must hate him, just as Jesus will face his knowing his love inadvertently put him there.
We finally reach Judas’ actual death, and the production’s far more ambiguous (if not negatively geared) depiction of god comes to a head. Judas’ screaming at god the moment he realises that his god essentially forced Judas to be the one to kill Jesus (an act of ultimate cruelty given their love) comes across as horrifying in it’s validity, unlike in other english language productions where it follows the more common characterisation of Judas being an unbeliever who can’t take responsibility for his own actions. When he spits on the ground, screaming “you have murdered me!”, we can’t help but agree- Judas was trying everything he could to stop Jesus from dying, and yet here he is. Most notably, Judas doesn’t set up his own suicide- a noose literally descends from the heavens, already tied, and Judas is literally trapped between the edge of the stage, and the symbol of death behind him. Much like he didn’t choose to kill Jesus, Judas has no choice in his own suicide- it’s suggested to merely be another part of the plan god has for him, and Judas raising his arms to form a crucifixion pose before he finally turns and jumps, disappearing into the depths of the theatre as the rope trails down (somewhat evocative of a leap to hell), highlight the sick joke. Much like Jesus begging in Gethsemane, a plea with god that in anyway implies fault or cruelty is met with silence followed by a death sentence. 
When Judas reappears to the broken and bloodied Jesus in Superstar, he appears as more of a twisted hallucination than the literal spirit of Judas. He’s the opposite of everything he was in life, draped in colour, surrounded by red lighting instead of the signature blue, his hair quite literally let down, joking and dancing. Despite singing about him, Judas virtually ignores Jesus for the whole song except when he’s taunting him, snatching his hand away after a broken and desperate Jesus reaches out for the image of his beloved (refuting Judas’ belief that Jesus would die hating him), along with the swedish additions of Judas repeatedly addressing him as “little Jesus”. Where the living Judas was serious, sometimes harsh but always well intention, often paying more attention to Jesus than he received, this Judas is the opposite: light hearted but cruel, not caring about Jesus one bit. It’s somewhat an inversion of the beginning of JCS, where the tormented Judas was constantly reaching out to Jesus, and often met with scorn and insult (see: most of their arguments, this line from Everything’s Alright: “the thought is beautiful but quite unrealistic / yes, even quite stupid”). As the song goes on, and even as Jesus is crucified, the victorious scoring of the Superstar theme ends up reinforcing the cruelty and questioning of god distinctive of this production: Ola Salo’s Jesus is one of the bloodiest Jesus’s (Jesii?) I’ve been able to find, with blood covering his torso, his arms, and all over his face, not in passive dribbles, but violent ‘swooshes’ spreading out from his eyes, emphasising the fear and pain contained within them. As the music suggests how great and wonderful Jesus’ death is, the images straight out of a horror movie before us don’t seem to match up: as both Judas and Jesus question, if no one is understanding what Jesus is saying, why kill him? instead of making a point, you’re ensuring that the falsehoods continue to circulate, unless spreading the true message isn’t really the intent at all. or, simply that Jesus was wrong: his interpretation and teachings of god were far too kind and practical, and the true god really is the one that he briefly saw in the garden of Gethsemane, and that Judas saw before his death- a cruel and vindictive god using them for his own sick purposes. If you're a strong Christian, I'm sure you could watch this production and still believe that God was right (although I think Jesus and Judas being in love counts as blasphemy), but I think in doing so you'd lose part of what makes this production so hard hitting and, as i keep saying, devastating.
that’s pretty much it for this one! i feel like jesus and judas as a queer couple is less significant to this production than the fact that it’s specifically jesus and judas that are in love - they don’t face explicit homophobia as such, although i do think the paratextual and historical associations of queerness (both with them each looking visibly queer, and them as a couple) adds a beautiful dimension by subverting the standard christian teaching of Jesus’ sacrifice as “a love that changed the world” and making the love that truly could have been transformative (and was, to a degree) the love between Jesus and another man, not to mention the way in which queerness is often viewed as radical perfectly upholding the ‘radical’ views of god and the story of Jesus shown in the production. Why wouldn’t the love between two men be the love which has us questioning god, faith, and that which many of us have been taught since birth? Ola Salo has talked about how he’s able to be positive and negative towards christianity, along with how he wanted Jesus and Judas to really represent two sides of the same coin (’faith and intelligence’), and being bisexual along with having alluded to being raised christian (not to mention Breaking Up With God, a song by his band The Ark), it’s not surprising he’s managed to present such a nuanced and layered interpretation of Jesus Christ Superstar that even me, a trans exvangelical, can fall in love with.
UPDATE: @bands-and-hobbits has just let me know that Ola's dad was a priest! Apparently he's said that he liked the organs and the music, but that was all when it comes to christianity, which (when combined with Ola stating in interviews that the JCS soundtrack has been one of his favourite albums since he was 14) makes a lot of sense about the level of familiarity he had with the text giving him confidence to go in and make changes to really capitalised off of some of the themes that are hinted at in the english version- you have enough information to understand how everything works together, but aren't so dedicated to preserving belief that you feel you can't improve/change things (and my god are we glad he did)
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darkmagickingdom · 3 years
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Gush hours! Tell me your OTPs and why you love 'em
You have opened the floodgates now
I'll only talk about my Disney Villains ones for now because that's all that relates to the blog, but if you want to hear about the ones I have outside of the disney fandom I would be more than happy to gush about those too.
The Lich's Dark Fairytale--aka the Horned King/Maleficent
- Okay, I talked about this one a bit a while ago. But unsurprisingly, I have more to say. So this wasn't my first enemies-to-lovers ship--I think my first one was created at least four years ago, but it's probably closer to six, and even that might be undershooting it--but this was my first "oh they'd try to kill each other, that's spicy" ship.
It started as a thing that wouldn't last, just a way to explore the kind of pairing where they're both trying to kill each other while trying to ignore their less-murdery feelings for each other.
It was a pairing dynamic I didn't really explore before then. Then I ended up liking both characters, their similarities, their shared dynamic--so much that I just had to make it a sincere enemies-to-lovers. And I'm a sucker for villains that have a soft side for someone but are still, y'know, evil. And given how Maleficent's whole thing in her movie is sticking it to the "true love conquers all" trope, I like the idea that a relationship wouldn't magically make her good. Sorry, Jolie, but she's just more fun of a character to me as a bad girl.
I would also love to see someone as gleefully evil as Maleficent try and lift the King out of his bitter and somber little grave. It'd be good to hear him maniacally laugh more often. Or really, at all. Maleficent's come back to life a ton of times, and might not be fully killable, while at least in my personal headcanons, the King can't ever fully die, being able to remain aware and keep his soul in his body no matter how horribly its damaged. So there's none of that immortal's angst that either of them would get from a relationship with a mortal.
I also love seeing characters be ruthlessly protective of one another, and I think these two have great potential for that. They both have potential to get absolutely bloodthirsty on the battlefield, even if Disney never really let us see either of them doing that. But you don't get a reputation like Maleficent's by sitting on a throne all day, and you don't achieve a reputation like the Horned King's by never riding into battle and cutting a few thousands down upon an accursed, blood-soaked blade. In fact, book-accurate depictions of the King have him surprisingly jacked, and looking a lot more battle-ready than his animated counterpart. I like to think that's how he was when he was much younger, before he started rotting. So if it comes down to it, they'll both wreak havoc on a battlefield, or they'll form an impenetrable defense to shield the other. And that is my JAM.
If I had to pick one song for them, it would be Love Me Dead by Ludo. But I have a whole playlist for them tbh.
Cards & Dice--aka Facilier/Oogie
Now this one is just. Fun. These two have such a similar aesthetic and flair for elaborate jazzy song-and-dance numbers (with use of blacklight!) that I just had to have them become friends. And gradually I decided "okay. But what if...they were friends-to-lovers?" And thus, Cards & Dice was born.
Honestly I think they'd be the most fun of my OTPs to play third-wheel to. They'd get up to all kinds of villainous shenanigans, make a TON of enemies, and make a narrow getaway every time.
Also? Considering they're both more nervous on average than the average Disney villain (with Oogie being one of the only ones actively terrified of his hero, and Facilier one of the only ones seen nervous and afraid before his demise) I like to think they could help each other with their respective fears. Facilier standing up to Jack, Oogie standing up to the "Friends" (even if neither are actually powerful enough to win). Oogie just sitting and hearing Facilier out when he's freaked out about how the "Friends" might still be searching for him. Facilier saving the HBIC (that's Head Bug In Charge, aka the Brain Bug, aka the green earwig Santa squished) just in time when the rest of Oogie's body gets destroyed. That's all just so good to me.
And don't get me STARTED on them singing and dancing together, completely stealing the floor every time! They're WONDERFUL, Your Honor.
If I had to pick one song for them, it would be Poker Face by Lady Gaga. But I got like a whole playlist for them in the works lol
A New DIRECTIVE--aka AUTO/Doris
Yes, I did just come up with that name. I think it's quite good.
So this one started as like. A joke. A what-if. A "hey, they're the only robots so they oughta stick together". How did it end up like this? It was only a kiss, IT WAS ONLY A KISS
So I am a sucker for the trope where the more chaotic one breaks the orderly one out of their shell and gets them to be less rigid. What if that, but evil?
"Hey boy, how would you like to go from lawful neutral to chaotic evil?"
"I don't suffer from 'I could fix him' disease. I think I could make him worse."
Theirs is like the inverse of the "love makes the bad guy turn good" trope. Love makes the robot disobey his programming, go rogue, and help his girl take over the world.
They're like the evil version of WALL-E and EVE. Except with the roles reversed, because the guy is the one from space who wants to follow his DIRECTIVE while the girl is the one from Earth trying to be like "no dude, check this out, I can control people and stuff all by myself. We should totally rule the world, it'll be awesome."
I usually imagine this pair with humanoid android forms because it's. Kind of hard to get invested in a ship's wheel and a hat. They're both a lot less expressive in their base forms than either WALL-E or EVE, so giving them cool android forms helps. I don't imagine them as super human-looking droids though, cause if they're more obviously robots it looks cooler. Though I DO think Doris deserves a face so she can go >:D sometimes. And AUTO deserves the ability to go >o|
If I had to pick one song for them, it would be Daisy Bell by Harry Dacre. Because they're both HAL 9000 references (Doris a lot less obviously so, but she's still got that one red eye), and evil robots the way HAL was, and that's the song HAL starts singing before he's deactivated. Which in and of itself is a reference to the first speaking/singing computer-generated voice program, IBM704, which famously sang the song Daisy Bell. (there's also a Futurama episode where Bender dates a HAL 9000 reference character, and there's a montage of them doing romantic things set to Bender singing Daisy Bell. For all my fellow Futurama fans out there ;) I'd especially recommend this version, where someone had both the original IBM704 and VOCALOID4 sing the song as a duet. (Because I like the idea of Doris getting a Vocaloid or Vocaloid-like voice if she was able to speak actual words instead of that admittedly really cute droidspeak language from the movie)
There are also plenty of villain ships in this fandom that I've seen that I love (such as FireSerpent--aka Jafar/Hades--, EvilPuppies--aka Grimhilde/Cruella--, and SeaDragon--aka Ursula/Maleficent) but I wanted to talk about only the ones I developed myself, since I think the creators of those ship names would be better equipped to talk about them.
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pencilofawesomeness · 3 years
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Fics I Absolutely Adore and Would Recommend to Anyone
I’ve been meaning to do this for a long, long time, because I love reading fanworks and they deserve a lot of love and I love sharing things that I love. 
Obviously this isn’t everything, and if it’s not on this list that doesn’t mean I don’t love it, it just means I forgot at this moment. I will be adding to the list and I remember things or come across it again. (Trying to sort through my bookmarks and subscriptions is like trying to catch a fish bare-handed.) I’m also gonna shy away from the one-shots, even though I adore fun one-shots, just for the sake of organization. The list would be super long otherwise, and those are best sorted by fandom. Here... Here are just some brilliant works I want to rant about. 
Disclaimer: I say “recommend” because I would recommend these works, any time any place, but do keep in mind the story’s rating and tags and stuff. Not everything is kid-friendly.
There is absolutely no hierarchy to the list below. They are added as I add.
Fairy Dance of Death
by Catsy ( @fairydanceofdeath​ )
Fandom: Sword Art Online Word Count: 660,282 Status: ongoing
「AU reboot of the entire SAO storyline, beginning from the premise that Kayaba Akihiko was obsessed with magic and Norse Mythology rather than swords and pure melee. As a result, he created the Death Game of Alfheim Online rather than the floating castle of Aincrad—a world in which player-killing is not a crime, and the nine player races are in competition with each other to reach the top of the World Tree. Multi-POV epic following the stories of multiple canon characters throughout the game.」
If Catsy wrote the SAO light novels and anime, SAO would be among the legendary series. Fairy Dance of Death has this amazingly simple premise of making Alfheim Online, the video game from the original series’ less-than-stellar second part, the game that the main cast becomes trapped in. However, it’s so much more. They took the characters and made them characters, and everyone gets ample spotlight—even background characters that normally wouldn’t receive a second thought. It’s masterful work, and to boot, there is a lovely frame of in-game mystery and player conflict. The organization is phenomenal and I aspire to world-build the way they did. Not to mention that stakes are so much higher and this series has ripped my heart to shreds more than once. 
It has also brought me great joy, and even when I was in the dumps and didn’t want to read anything, a FDOD update made me pick up my phone and read when I otherwise wouldn’t have. It has a really special place in my heart. It updates once in a blue moon, but that’s okay. 
Even if you have never seen a single piece of Sword Art Online, Fairy Dance of Death is still a great read. In fact, it’s the Better Version of SAO, if we’re all being honest, so I would especially recommend it if you hadn’t seen the original. Or if you have. The characters are given so much love and detail, to the point where Fairy Dance of Death’s characterizations are More Canon to me than Kawahara Reki’s work. It is just a beautiful piece of fiction, and it makes you question the depravity of man on levels that SAO shied away from. 
Poisoned Dreams
by StrangeDiamond
Fandom: Genshin Impact Word Count: 82,852 Status: Complete, with a complete sequel and more to come
「 Every night now, Diluc dreams of death. Usually Kaeya's. In between these nightmares his life is falling apart. It doesn't take Kaeya long to realize that this is something much more insidious than simple bad dreams. His brother's life and sanity are on the line and there is nothing Kaeya won't do to save him. Bonus chapter added.」
In a growing fandom from a new game, StrangeDiamond swooped in and characterized these bad boys so well I think it’s canon. It really breathes life into the video game lore, and it’s an A+ depiction of awkward sibling re-bonding post-Terrible-Happenings. Poisoned Dreams can be read alone with a basic understanding of Genshin storybuilding, but StrangeDiamond has an entire group of fics and oneshots set in the same headcanon, and they integrate them really well and subtly together. Not to mention that the narrative style is really clever with making you question what is real and what is dream (a big point in this story) and the inner voices of the point-of-view characters are very compelling. 
One Word to Change the World
by AgentMalkere 
Fandom: Fairy Tail Collective Word Count: 43,988 (30 parts) Status: probably never coming back
「 In just one universe, Ultear called out to her mother instead of turning away and the fate of Fairy Tail and the world was irrevocably altered. These are glimpses of a world where a single word made all the difference.
In other words, welcome to the Butterfly Effect - Fairy Tail style. 」
It’s a really cute canon-divergent, and while the series makes no attempt to re-write Fairy Tail, it addresses the major events and just snippets in between. It does a good job at giving the vast cast ample spotlight, but it’s also an easy read. It’s special to me because it was the series that made me really pay attention to Bickslow in particular, and I respect that.
Vigilantis Pretium Libertatis
by aradian_nights 
Fandom: Attack on Titan Word Count: 399,226 Status: Complete
「 Five years ago, an accident freed Eren Jaeger, Mikasa Ackerman, and Armin Arlelt from an experiment that forced the most extraordinary powers onto them. After five years of separation, of being raised apart to be heroes by a set of three very different adults, they meet again. As they uncover the truth behind their captivity they realize being free and being heroes are sadly nothing but an illusion. 」
This wrecked me.
I still remember when I read it. It was the beginning of 2018, and I had the flu and a lot of time on my hands, so I binge-read this. It was simultaneously the best and the worst thing I have ever done, because I resonated with it so deeply there were times I was just staring up at the ceiling wondering what was real. I empathized with the characters to a level I rarely achieve, and I empathize easily. I laughed. I cried. It was amazing.
I refer to this story in conversation to this day. It handled themes published authors have only dreamed of achieving. Heck, if Dani (the author) took out the names of the AoT cast and replaced it with new ones, it could be its own stand alone novel. It is worldbuilding from the ground up, and any fandom knowledge you take in with you is used against you like a knife leveraged against your throat. Yet, no one is out of character. It’s phenomenal. I would say more, but this is something I daren’t spoil for anybody, because you must be as wrecked as I was. Vigilantis Pretium Libertatis is a level of writing I achieve to gain as a writer myself. It is a masterpiece in every sense of the word.
Life in Glass Houses
by blueskyscribe ( @blueskyscribe​ )
Fandom: Transformers (Transformers Prime, Transformers: Shattered Glass) Word Count: 119,900 Status: Ongoing (maybe, I hope)
「 No one would have thought Bumblebee and Knock Out were capable of getting along, but when they're stuck in a strange new world and their only hope of survival is cooperation . . . Yeah, they're probably doomed. 」
I could be biased because Knock Out and Bumblebee are two of my favorite characters, but it really is brilliant. Two enemies, stuck together—but not in an overly cliché way. It’s the right amount of cliché, with heaps moral conflict and inner conflict and sometimes just beating each other with a broom when no one is looking. It’s also a fascinating look into what makes a character the way they are in relation to the morals they possess, and how stalwart those morals can be. I can’t help but think of this story whenever I see or write a “role reverse” or mirror-verse AU. It does an excellent job at making all of the characters engaging and their own character, despite being in a mirror-verse.
Yesterday Upon the Stair
by PitViperOfDoom ( @pitviperofdoom​ )
Fandom: My Hero Academia Word Count: 424,070 Status: Complete
「 Midoriya Izuku has always been written off as weird. As if it's not bad enough to be the quirkless weakling, he has to be the weird quirkless weakling on top of it.
But truthfully, the "weird" part is the only part that's accurate. He's determined not to be a weakling, and in spite of what it says on paper, he's not actually quirkless. Even before meeting All-Might and taking on the power of One For All, Izuku isn't quirkless.
Not that anyone would believe it if he told them. 」
As a person who normally doesn’t read these kind of minor canon divergences, especially at the time of reading, I frickin’ love this fic. In fact, I think YUTS gave me a deep appreciation for canon divergence fics. It’s MHA in all of its glory but it’s so much more, and even the parts that rehash canon give new light to the characters and their points of view. 
I had read Viper’s work before and saw Yesterday Upon the Stair filling my inbox, and then I finally watched My Hero Academia. It was one of the first MHA fics I read and it still has a very special place in my heart. I recommend this series to people who don’t even watch MHA; in fact, there are some who might prefer the darker tones and themes of heroism vs apathy to the main series. Not to mention the writing style is phenomenal, and I aspire to be that good. It made me laugh. It made me cry. Yes, tears streaming down my face crying. It is the best ghost story I have ever read.
the Vantage Point Universe
by Aggie2011 ( @aggie2011whoop​ )
Fandom: The Avengers (MCU) Collective Word Count: 1,032,651 (35 parts) Status: Ongoing (just slowed down)
「 Six months after the Loki incident, Clint isn't adjusting well. When an enemy from his days in the Army comes back to haunt him, he'll be forced to face a part of his past - and to move past Loki, if he has a hope of finding his place with the Avengers. (First of a universe created to center around Clint Barton) 」
// description taken from first installment
Have you enjoyed the MCU, especially the first-era Avengers phase, but like me, were disappointed in the fact that Hawkeye was barely there? The VP universe is for you. 
I honestly have a hard time remembering what was canon and what was VP. And if it’s not canon, it should be. The VP universe gave so much life to Clint and to Natasha and to all of SHIELD and even the rest of the Avengers. It’s just...so good. It’s completely immersive. It focuses a lot on Hawkeye and Black Widow from before the Avengers team-up, as well as after, and it all flows together so beautifully. Not to mention that I can be reading a mission that happened pre-series, so I know that they are going to live with all of their limbs, and I still sit there on the edge of my seat the whole time.
The OCs, minor as they are, that are created for this are also wonderfully done. I can’t believe Dan and Phil don’t exist in canon. Every character, canon or no, is engaging and dynamic, it is a pleasure to follow each point of view. The emotional turmoil is also handled very well, and the VP universe carries the MCU trend of humanizing its heroes and takes it so much further. 
Ghosts of the Future
by Evan Stanley ( @evanstanleyportfolio​ )
Fandom: Sonic the Hedgehog Word Count: comic (18 issues) Status: ongoing
「 About 200 years in the future, Silver the Hedgehog is an average kid living in San Francisco... except for his strange and terrible dreams of a dying Blue Hedgehog, a Black Hedgehog, and mysterious gems called "Chaos Emeralds". What will he do, when these "figments of his imagination" appear before him in his real life? 」
// description taken from first installment
Okay so this is the only one that isn’t an Ao3 story, but rather a comic on DeviantArt. However, it is still one of my favorite stories. Even though it takes the commonalities of Sonic canon and turns them on its head, GotF really treats the characters well. There are enough familiar world elements to create intrigue, but it is set in a completely different take of the future, so there is ample opportunity for world building and being able to engage with a completely new thing. I wish SEGA put as much love in the series (namely the games, because the comics are *chef’s kiss*) and all of its possibilities as creators like Evan Stanley do.
The friendship and family relationships in GotF are so diverse and all so fantastic to witness. It’s a keynote example of the new hero and the old veterans, and both parties are active and trying their best.
Do not be alarmed by the starting art style. Sure, it’s rough around the edges at first, but then it gets better, and then it gets gorgeous, and then you’re left there so stunned that it looks like just life canon art. And then you could be like me, blinking slowly as my small brain finally connected that this Evan Stanley is in fact the Evan Stanley. GotF is an amazing fanwork, but she also draws and writes for the Official Canon comics (the IDW ones now) and that work is also phenomenal and should be supported. 
Whirlwind
by Lynse ( @ladylynse​ )
Fandom: Danny Phantom, American Dragon: Jake Long, Miraculous Ladybug, Randy Cunningham: 9th Grade Ninja Word Count: 75,556 Status: Complete
「 Jake should be used to ominous predictions by now. Randy should know better than to blindly follow McFist. Adrien should think twice before sneaking away. And Danny really should've expected something like this when he got that phone call from Jake. (Secret Quartet fic) 」
I have to start by saying that I adore all of Lynse’s fics, and I chose this one simply because it is one of my favorites. But it’s all fantastic, one hundred percent. I also love Mirrored, the sort-of prequel to this fic, but Whirlwind just has the chaotic pure bean energy that each of the shows bring and it foils against each other so perfectly. This is the epitome of the Secret Quartet crossover, truly.
All fandoms and all characters get ample love, and the way the reader gets to see just how badly the characters’ assumptions are going is positively wonderful. It’s so easy to fall into the “I know what’s happening and so do the characters” trap, but Lynse leaps over it gracefully and lands in greatness. The fic had me smiling like a maniac one minute, and feeling sorry for my babies the next. Wonderful. Simply fantastic!
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Goddamn it Kyra I wasn't even interested in the Lego Lokis before, but now that you've so rudely posted pics of the options I'm probably going to have to buy some. So, couple questions: I'm not familiar with the website you linked to (it doesn't help that I'm on my phone lol) - do you get them from that site or just Aliexpress? I've kind of poked around there but I don't think I've ever actually bought anything - do you have links to those ones you bought or any tips for finding them on the site? (or like. using the site in general without getting scammed or something? Idk much about it other than stuff being low priced lol).
😇😇😇
putting the rest behind a cut because oops this got long
OKAY SO the cool thing about knockoff Lego figures is that a) there are a ton of them, so you can probably find multiple versions of most characters, and b) they're super cheap, so if you do end up getting ripped off, you're probably only out a few bucks. plus if you don't get ripped off, you feel like a genius, because authentic Lego minifigs tend to cost way more than they should (and if you get them online, you probably don't have a good way to know that they're authentic) and here you are getting something just as good or better for way less.
the site I was getting pictures from is HeroBloks, which I only just discovered myself a couple days ago; it looks like mostly it's good for tracking your collection (and learning more about bootleg Lego minifigs in general, maybe--I didn't really realize until now how many different companies there are making Lego-like minifigs) rather than buying, with individual pages including sale links that are only mildly useful. like, the extremely sad TVA Loki has an AliExpress search link that apparently just searches for "blocks," which is the least helpful search term imaginable; the eBay link uses "xinh+xh1745+loki (tva)" as the search term and that's definitely better, although it doesn't actually turn up anything. maybe that one's too new to be widely available yet, I don't know. (I hope that's the case. I need him and his sad little face to come and live with me.)
anyway--eBay is a possible source. searching for "loki minifigure" gets me results for several of the new ones I’ve been seeing, and they all seem to be shipping from Japan or South Korea. the problem is they're all selling for $4.99 plus $7.49 shipping each, which is...more than I want to spend on something I know is a knockoff of some kind when I don't know anything about the quality control and I'm not guaranteed to get what's in the picture. (here's another listing asking $40 total for all 8 figures I bought yesterday, which is actually a better price, and I'd probably end up doing that if I hadn't found them elsewhere, but that's because I have a problem.)
this is why I like AliExpress, because the risks are slightly higher but the prices tend to be much lower, even with shipping prices having gone up a bit over the last couple years. as I understand it, the site is basically just a huge marketplace for tons of different sellers in Asia, like if eBay only allowed fixed-price listings and it was based in China. the vast majority of the site reads like it went through Google Translate, because it probably did. you can find...basically anything there. I have no idea if any of it's authentic. (I also don't know anything about how or where any of the knockoff stuff is made, so...there is that.) I would not, for instance, drop $300 on a Hot Toys Loki from here, even though I absolutely would have the option to do so, for the obvious reason that I'm not going to risk that much money on an item that might be a cheap knockoff or could arrive broken. there is, in general, a solid possibility of breakable things arriving broken, because decent packaging costs more. cheap shipping will be slow (by which I mean like...up to 90 days), and most purchases either won't have tracking at all or won't have accurate tracking, so this is absolutely not a place to buy anything you want to get quickly. you also don't want to just buy something and forget about it, because there are (variable but generous) time limits past which you can't get a refund if you don't receive your items. the site's UI is...mostly functional. you often have to get a little creative with your search terms to find what you want (and sometimes you won’t find what you want through searching, but through looking at related items on the pages of things that aren’t quite what you want or are what you want but aren’t a good price). you will, absolutely, come across a lot of stolen art on things like pins, t-shirts, stickers, and phone cases, which you might not realize until you see something you recognize from a fanartist you like, and obviously that sucks. listing photos are nearly always stock photos, so in many cases they won't tell you anything about the item you're actually getting. you know the Wish app, and all the crazy things people get from that? you can find all the same stuff on AliExpress, at similar levels of quality.
however, if you approach it keeping all that in mind, it can be a great resource. I can't make any guarantees about the site's safety, but to the best of my knowledge it's secure and I've never had any weird charges show up after buying something. it's also my understanding that Alibaba, the parent company, is more or less the Chinese equivalent of Amazon in terms of the amount of business it does, which would probably be pretty tough if customer data were routinely being exposed to thieves, you know? I've also successfully gotten several refunds for items that never arrived, which actually hasn't happened all that often--but knowing that it can happen and that the return period expires, I’ll check back on the site if it seems like it’s been an unusually long time and I’ll make a reminder for myself of the deadline so I can contact the seller in time if necessary.
so the way I shop there is, I don't buy expensive or fragile things in general, because I recognize there's a nonzero chance I'll get a cheap knockoff, or something that was broken in transit because the seller tossed it in a box with no padding and called it good, or sometimes nothing at all. but like eBay, the sellers and items have ratings and reviews from customers, so that helps avoid some risk. items with lots of reviews tend to include at least a few customer photos, which are great for getting a better idea of what the thing you're buying actually looks like. I took a bit of a risk last year buying a Hot Toys (or the equivalent, I actually have no idea) Steve Rogers head for about $20, for instance, but I wasn't super worried about it because the customer photos looked good, the seller I used had a lot of sales and a lot of good ratings, and it was still a lot less than I would've paid for an authentic Hot Toys Steve Rogers head--and in fact he got here just fine and he looked fantastic. I also spent about $20 for a knockoff Iron Studios Loki statue, because in that case it was like...yep I’d love the real thing, nope I’m not willing to spend hundreds of dollars on it, yep I am willing to spend $20 on something that doesn’t look quite as nice but still looks good enough for me in the customer photos. well, and I’ve also bought knockoffs I knew would look bad, because they were cheap and I want all the Lokis and I have enough of an addiction that all the Lokis does in fact sometimes mean “even ones that look really bad” to me.
anyway, uh, Lego-type minifigs. this is an especially good area to go knockoff, because--okay, apparently I can’t link to a page of HeroBloks search results for some reason, but it’s the best resource I’ve found for this type of thing that isn’t just authentic Lego figures. but if you go there and do a search for “loki” you’ll get a bunch of results and you’ll see that they come from like...9 or 10 different brands. Lego specifically has only four Loki options: Avengers Loki in black, Avengers Loki in gray for some reason (which, frankly, looks like a cheap knockoff but isn’t), movie-inaccurate Ragnarok Loki with the blue outfit and the full helmet, an ugly Classic Loki, and a mostly green Loki from I guess the first Thor movie (and then I think they’re going to release a TVA Loki, a Sylvie, and a Throg). all those other results--all those different outfits from every single Loki appearance, and different variations on those outfits, nearly all of them more screen-accurate and/or detailed than the Lego versions--are technically knockoffs. they’re better and you can buy them for way less. (I mean, a lot of them are new so I don’t have them yet, but I do have frost giant Loki, better Ragnarok Loki, better Avengers Loki, opera Loki who actually has another face that’s half-Jotun, and at least one chrome-helmet option, and they all look basically like the photos. so I think I can reasonably expect most of the new ones to look basically like their photos too.) 
for reasons that I don’t understand aside from a vague guess that it’s copyright-related, AliExpress pretty much no longer shows full pictures of Lego-type figures in their listings--instead, you have to pick just based on the heads. this is a problem when lots of heads look very similar to each other! luckily, the listings also typically have the actual serial numbers for each figure, as do the HeroBloks listings, so you can cross-reference them to see what you’re really getting. for instance let’s take this listing because it’s cheap and it offers most of the Loki figures that are currently available. say you’re interested in one of the horn-less Lokis. there are...let’s see, five of them, but you have no idea what they actually look like aside from slightly different facial expressions and maybe weapons. however, the first one listed says XH1359 for its color...and what do you know, 1359 is the serial number for this Loki by a company called Xinh. okay cool, how about the last one? the “color” is listed as WM2182--and yes, HeroBloks has a listing for a Ragnarok Loki from World Minifigures with the serial number 2182. (I just ordered all 8 of the new World Minifigures ones yesterday, so again, I can’t personally guarantee yet that they’ll look as good in person as in the pictures--but I think they probably will, and more importantly they cost a whole dollar each.) and if HeroBloks doesn’t have a particular figure, you can probably find something useful just by googling the serial number.
I specifically bought from this listing yesterday because they currently have a bit of a sale going and a deal for free shipping if you buy 10 figures, and I wanted a couple duplicates, so it worked out to be the cheapest option. the same store has another listing for a bunch more Marvel characters, including a couple more Lokis I already had, so it should be pretty easy to get the free shipping so the figures are less than a dollar each and you’re only risking about $10. if you’d rather try one or two and see how it goes, it looks like this listing is probably the cheapest, with figures currently going for a little over a dollar each once you add shipping (although it’s totally possible shipping is more for me because Alaska).
that’s...probably already way more information than you really wanted, but I hope at least some of it makes sense. feel free to ask other specific questions if they come up--I might not be able to give answers exactly, but I can probably tell you what my experience has been, which is better than nothing.
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scottspack · 4 years
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SO YOU JUST FINISHED THE UNTAMED AND YOU WANT TO READ SOME FIC
Congratulations Jen @jlf23tumble on finishing The Untamed (tomorrow)! Now that you’re done with the show (tomorrow), you can finally dive into the wide and wonderful world of untamed fic!!! I’m ecstatic to be personally curating your reading experience! LET’S BEGIN!
I’ve started off with a list of 5 fics I think you should read in this specific order to 1. get some resolution from the end of the show and 2. get you acclimated to untamed fics! Then, I’ve listed a bunch of fics in different categories for your perusal to read at your leisure! This is an unbelievably long post holy shit brace yourself.
I’m like fairly certain that all of these follow the tv show canon BUT also its very typical for authors to combine many aspects of all of the different forms of canons to their liking. Therefore, I feel like I need to give a quick explanation of a couple things from the novel that show up frequently in fics that idk if you know already or not:
In the book, when Wei Wuxian is resurrected, he is brought back in Mo Xuanyu’s actual body and has his face and everything. Mo Xuanyu was pretty young when he died, I wanna say maybe 17 or 18??? and he was also short and pretty and flamboyantly gay. This is where the references to their crazy height difference come from, but again, I think I tried to include mostly fics that skew more heavily to the tv version where WWX keeps his same body and he and LWJ are more evenly matched physically.
Its novel canon that LWJ smells like sandalwood incense and has golden colored eyes. This is mentioned in like almost every single wangxian fic ive ever read, even if the author said they were strictly adhering to show canon lol
At the end of the novel wangxian run away together and elope! Obviously in the show that’s not how it goes down, but I think a couple of the fics I’ve recced might mention it in passing. (Oh also when they elope they make a pact to fuck “everyday,” a concept that might be mentioned as well.
Obviously, we have to kick it off with some fics that both reunite wangxian and give more resolution to the actual show. If you’re like me, it both took you a while to get all the way through the show AND took 100% of your brain power to remember all of the characters and plot lines. If that’s that case: these fics should be helpful in serving as a kind of emotional refresher for the show to wrap up some loose ends and to dive deeper into some of the things the show glosses over for one reason or another!
1. A Lot of Edges Called Perhaps by hansbekhart (Wangxian, E, 21k) 
The funny part is - and it is a little funny, even if Wei Wuxian has no one left to share the joke with - they never have. Not anything. He has never kissed any part of Lan Zhan besides his slim hands; never been even partially undressed with him anywhere besides a miserable, xuanwu-infested cave. It’s always been like this between them, this simmering need, this desperate understanding: a knowledge so deep that it lives somewhere in his bones, that if he wanted to have Lan Zhan he could have him, and if Lan Zhan wanted Wei Wuxian he could have that too. But they never have.
I found this fic on someone’s blog when they said that it was the definitive fic to read directly after finishing the series so i saved it, read it directly after finishing the series, and felt COMPLETE. Beautifully written, seamlessly fits with canon, and has a super fulfilling resolution. The perfect way to kick off reading untamed fic!
2. One Rogue Spark In My Direction by hansbekhart (Lan Wangji/Xiao Xingchen/Song Lan, E, 5k)
He’d thought, in Yueyang, that they’d seen something in each other, something familiar. That maybe they’d recognized something in him. But it’s been many years, and many things have happened since, and he’s guessed wrongly at other people’s hearts before. Lan Wangji looks back down at the table, at his steaming, bitter tea. He’ll beg if he has to.
In “A Lot Of Edges Called Perhaps” Wangji mentions that he has had sex before and this is the in-universe story of that time and WHEW BABY!!!! AHHHHHH!!! While this fic is like, almost pure smut, I think there is a ton of value to it in terms of emotional perspective on how fucked up LWJ was after WWX’s death. Also, it’s very hot.
3. Gathered Herbs & Sweet Grasses by hansbekhart (Laz Sizhui & Lan Wangji, G, 19k)
Later, when he’s older, it’s this that A-Yuan will remember most: the stretch of silence, the two of them both dirty and shaking with fever, as he looked at Brother Rich, and Brother Rich looked back at him.
This is a fic about Lan Wangji raising Sizhui from when he rescues Sizhui from the Burial Mounds until they bring WWX back to the Cloud Recesses after he’s resurrected. It made me cry about 18 times and I consider it fully canon in relation to the show. I think this gives a lot of emotional depth to the Wangji/Sizhui family relationship that is very important in most fics, so this acts as a good base since the show doesn’t really talk about it too much.
4. Your Name, Safe In Their Mouth by astrolesbian (Lan Sizhui & Wei Wuxian, G, 10k)
“You’ve got a fever,” Wei Wuxian says soothingly. “You just keep still as well as you can. We’ll have you fixed up soon.”
Lan Sizhui recognizes his tone—this is the voice that Wei Wuxian uses on hurt people and young children, a very calm and no-nonsense voice that has none of the mischief and cheer of the way he sounds the rest of the time. Lan Sizhui looks up and meets his eyes, and they are dark, stormy gray, muddled and concerned.
“I’m all right,” he croaks.
“Hush,” Wei Wuxian says, in a low croon, like someone quieting a baby. Then he blinks, and looks away, awkward. “I mean—you shouldn’t speak. You’re tired. Rest if you need to.”
or: lan sizhui gets sick on a night hunt. wei wuxian comforts him. they both have a lot of feelings about it.
The Wei Wuxian and Sizhui bonding fic that I so desperately desperately needed to read. Since we got the emotional depth to Wangji/Sizhui in the last fic, here’s some emotional resolution for Sizhui and his other dad!!!!!!!!!! Scratched the very particular itch of “but have they REALLY talked about what it means that they’re reunited after 16 years???”
5. climbing up that coastal shelf by Sour_Idealist (Jin Ling, Jiang Cheng, & Wei Wuxian, T, 15k)
Jin Ling had begun to suspect years ago that there were parts of his family history that had been crossed out; long streaks of black where Wei Wuxian had been. The truth is more like whole books being brought up from their hiding places again.
Or: Jin Ling tries to figure out what family means, now.
OKAY!!!! Last emotional resolution before I send you on your way to explore! This is the emotional resolution for the other half of WWX’s family. Featuring just a FUCK TON of family feels and a lot of TALKING that this fucked up family needs so damn bad. *chefs kiss* muy delicioso! ALSO i think this is a good introduction to a lot of the naming conventions that are used frequently in untamed fic that took me a while to pick up on!
WHEW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Now that you’ve gotten some post-show catharsis in the form of a few extremely well-written fics, it’s time for a full rec! I’ve divided it up into seven categories: long fics, smutty one-shots, 3zun (lan xichen/nie mingjue/meng yao) fics, fics about the juniors, family fun fics, some miscellaneous fics, and then some yizhan RPF! I wouldn’t have put any of these fics on here if I didn’t think they were worth reading, BUT! I did mark my particular favorites with asterisks to demark the crème de la crème of the bunch. SO! LET’S DIVE IN!
EPIC TALES (LONG AND/OR IMMERSIVE)
My Age Has Never Made Me Wise by idrilka (Wangxian, E, 63k) ***
“We hear that His Excellency might be married by summer’s end,” the merchant’s wife says and Wei Wuxian freezes, his heart in his throat. “The Gusu Lan sect has been buying enough red silk and brocade that the merchants in Caiyi can’t satisfy the demand.”
He feels himself grow brittle inside, like a flick of a finger to his temple might make him shatter. His ears are ringing.
“Who’s the lucky bride?” he asks despite himself. His tongue sticks to the roof of his mouth.
Or: The story of a marriage.
I LOVE THIS FIC. YOU MUST PROMISE ME YOU’LL READ THIS FIC. The absolute best kind of slow burn and I think such an extremely accurate representation of the canon material. I’m always surprised by the authors in this fandom’s ability to write shit that is so concretely grounded in the universe. This could and should be a real companion novel. Amazing. I love it. (Also I know you said you’re not into fics that are long just to be long and I think this fic is the exact opposite of that, it’s long but for good reason and has such an insanely satisfying payoff that it’s completely worth dedicating a few hours to!)
The Year of Drought by idrilka (Wangxian, E, 24k)
Wei Ying could not be contained by the walls of the Cloud Recesses, alive again and overflowing with it, bursting like a dam in spring with the force of two lives unspent. And so he had to go. Lan Wangji understands that—he understood it when Wei Ying told him of his plans, looking at Lan Wangji above the rim of his cup with an apologetic smile, like craving freedom was something to apologize for.
Wei Ying would go, and Lan Wangji would see him off; this has always been the only way it could be.
Or: In the absence of Wei Wuxian, Lan Wangji waits.
The previous fic but from Wangji’s perspective. Absolutely required reading if you read the other one. Wangji baby.......i love you.....
further than the grave by idrilka (Wangxian, E, 32k)
There is something about grief that turns Lan Wangji numb. He cannot be certain if it is not some kind of defect inside him that makes him so. But just as he grieved his mother’s passing with dry eyes and a stone in his chest, so he grieves Wei Ying: quietly, frozen inside, without tears. Beyond the Jingshi window it might be spring, but Lan Wangji’s body and mind are still held within the winter’s grasp.
As the anniversary of his leaving seclusion approaches, Lan Wangji ponders the nature of grief and healing.
One last fic from the same verse as the previous two, this talks about Wangji post-WWX’s death and then them dealing with the past post-marriage. Its just as good and immersive and amazing as the previous two parts, but this is the only untamed fic that actually made me gasp out loud and if you read this and can guess what it was we will be best friends forever. (There are two other fics in this verse that are also good but these three in particular are god-tier in my eyes.)
Vagabond by xantissa (Wangxian, E, 66k)
Wei Wuxian comes back to Cloud Recesses after a year of wandering the world, hoping to start a relationship with Lan Zhan. He doesn’t expect to come into the middle of a case of sleeping sickness mysteriously killing people, nor does he expect what follows, putting everything he holds dear on the line once again.
OOOWEE CASE FIC! CASE FIC! This is truly the twisty turny intense and INTERESTING type of fic from this fandom that blows my mind. This could fully be a stand alone novel its that good and there’s that much to it. Another one that isn’t long just to be long, it has so much PLOT!!!!! REAL GOOD SHIT!
Seldom All They Seem by Fahye (Wangxian, E, 25k)
or, one hundred and thirty-three principles of the Gusu Lan, pertaining to the state of marriage
***
He bows to Wei Wuxian, sword in hand, sleeves falling properly. Wei Wuxian bows in return, and the sect leaders begin the opening courtesies, and for all of ten minutes Lan Wangji is under the impression that he is betrothed to a boy who is perfectly normal and acceptable apart from an unfortunate tendency to fidget with his clothes.
That impression does not last.
A canon-divergent fic exploring “what if Lan Wangji and Wei Wuxian were betrothed from when they were young like Yanli and Jin Zixuan?” It’s extremely good and very compelling and also made me cry multiple times. (The confrontation in the rain doesn’t get any easier even if they’re betrothed!)
Half Cloak & Half Dagger by Fahye (Lan Xichen/Meng Yao, E, 13k)
Jin Guangyao lifts his head and smiles. "I'm considering a problem."
"Can I be of any assistance with it?"
He drops a kiss on Lan Xichen's chest. With the nail of one finger he lightly traces the characters for irony on Lan Xichen's side. "Not this one, er-ge."
A follow-up fic set in the “Seldom All They Seem” universe but focused on xiyao. Has hands down the best written characterization of meng yao in any fic ive read so far. I continuously come back to this fic just to read the absolutely genius way this author writes the Head Bitch In Control of the cultivation world.
The Absolutely True Story of the Yiling Patriarch: A Manifesto in Many Parts by aubreyli (Wangxian, T, 20k)
Wei Wuxian’s hand jolts, spilling a drop of wine onto the tabletop. “Love?” he croaks, then clears his throat and tries again. “Lan Zh— uh, Hanguang-jun, in love?”
“Have you not heard the story?” the other young woman asks, looking pitying. “You must, it is a truly heartrending tale of star-crossed romance and mutual pining — go to any storyhouse in town, everyone has been requesting a reading of this book.”
“There’s a book?” Wei Wuxian says blankly.
In which the junior disciples (namely, Lan Jingyi, Ouyang Zizhen, and a reluctant Lan Sizhui) turn to RPF in an attempt to rehabilitate Wei Wuxian's reputation so that he and Hanguang-jun can get together and get married and live happily ever after. It's... surprisingly effective.
I kept avoiding this fic, even though it was really high up on the list of most popular fics in the fandom, bc the premise sounded pretty goofy BUT I finally bit the bullet one day and AHHHHHHHH!!!!! Very very very cute and fun, made me smile like an idiot throughout the entire thing. Heartwarming and very well written!!!
never let me go by yiqie (Wangxian, E, 69k)
Wei Wuxian has certainly hoped so ardently in his two lifetimes, for so many different things, in so many different ways, that he could have summoned the demon to his front door with his bare hands. His eyes wander to Lan Zhan, settle on the back of his head, the blue-black curtain of his hair. Oh, how he has hoped.
Another extremely good and super immersive case fic. If you ever just want to sink really deep into an untamed fic, this is a great one for it.
hunters seeking solid ground by Attila (Wangxian, E, 24k)
“Hanguang-jun,” Wei Wuxian repeats. His heart clenches. He wants—but he’d really meant to have this nightmare stuff down before they met again, so he wouldn’t find himself relying on Lan Wangji’s nearness. He’s not supposed to go back yet. But he’s so tired, and his will crumbles. “Yeah,” he says. “All right. Take me back to Gusu with you.”
You want hurt/comfort? I gotcha hurt/comfort RIGHT HERE!
shadows in the sun rise by Yuu_chi (Wangxian, E, 25k) ***
“Wei Ying,” Lan Wangji says, voice slow and a pitch too quiet. A second later Wei Wuxian understands why. “I cannot hear.”
Or; Lan Wangji is cursed into internal isolation. Their ability to understand one another remains as unwavering as ever.
OH GOD OH GOD OH GOD. I have been thinking about this fic nonstop since I read it. It is…..fucking incredible. One of the best qualities of wangxian is that they’re so in tune with each other and able to work so cohesively with little communication and this fic is like “what if we take that and DIAL IT UP TO ELEVEN” and i was like AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!
I hope that you will come and meet me by feyburner (Wangxian, M, 28k) ***
The second time Lan Zhan said Wei Ying, come back, Wei Wuxian did.
okay so this is literally getting added to the fic rec one day before i send it to you because i just finished it and WHEW BABY!!!!! YES it is just another wangxian post-canon reunion get-together fic, BUT 1. i cant get enough of that specific brand of fic and 2. ITS SO GOOD. ITS. SO. GOOD. achingly tender and incredibly soft but also funny and sweet and very in-character! i love it!
THE BONE ZONE (WANGXIAN SMUT)
Sweet Night by corteae (Wangxian, E, 10k)
It was like coming back to life again, like being restitched into existence, cell by cell, nerve by nerve. From the surface of his skin to the marrow of his bones, everything new and purposeful. Like being pulled back from oblivion into an embrace of pure light. A feeling of absolute asylum.
That’s what it felt like, to realize Lan Wangji was in love with him.
An in-show au of “what if they just admitted they’re in love and fucked during episode 43?” Soft and romantic and hot!
the crucial point by dissembler (Wangxian, E, 7k) ***
Months after parting on the mountain, Lan Wangji makes up his mind, plots his course on a map, and has faith.
I LOVE THIS FIC! Very realistic and sweet wangxian reunion fic from wangji’s perspective. Has so many good little details and is very true to their characters. Good shit. Great.
Stainless by Fahye (Wangxian, E, 6k)
"I'm starting to feel," says Lan Xichen, "that this was a counterproductive suggestion."
Wei Wuxian looks down onto the pristine, tranquil cold springs of the Cloud Recesses. Sitting in the water, their bare shoulders rising like dumplings carefully spaced in a steaming-basket, are a large number of Lan disciples.
"They seem to be doing better," he says, encouragingly. "If they--oh, no, I see what you mean."
At the near bank, someone has pressed someone else against the rocks and is kissing them frantically.
What is getting into a new pairing if not an excuse to read sex pollen in new and exciting ways!
To Recklessly Confess by la_dissonance (Wangxian, E, 8k)
Lan Wangji has a fantasy. Wei Wuxian gets several clues.
The “what if they just fucked in episode 43” au but from a different angle.
all the depths of me, real by northofallmusic (Wangxian, E, 15k)
Wei Wuxian is dealing with a curse a little worse than he'd like to let on, and Lan Zhan is a little less than willing to let it slide.
Another “what if they just fucked in the show” fic, this time set when WWX has the curse on his leg and Wangji has to carry him back to the inn. 
Every Day, Learning More by phnelt (Wangxian, E, 6k)
The pink was high on Wei Wuxian’s cheeks. “I mean I haven’t been able to… that I can’t. Not without you.”
Lan Wangji stared. “In this body, the whole time you’ve had it -- you’ve never…”
Wei Wuxian kicked his heels into Lan Wangji’s back. “I just said that!”
I knew at least one of these was more book verse than show! WWX hasn’t been able to jerk off in his new body, LWJ helps him out :-)
the meaning of the ritual by newamsterdam (Wangxian, E, 8k)
“Lan Zhan… wants to bed me?”
The hand on his chest is shaking, slightly. “Mn.”
“Oh,” Wei Wuxian breaths out.
There’s something— something powerful, about that. Lan Wangji wants to bed him. Lan Wangji wants to sleep with him. Lan Wangji wants to touch him, and kiss him. The immovable, implacable Second Master of Lan, with a face and principles both carved from jade, wants him.
“Is this a fantasy of yours?�� Wei Wuxian asks. “Forcing all the demonic energy out of me with your—”
Lan Wangji claps a hand over his mouth. “Silence, now.”
When the entire cultivation world turns against the Yiling Patriarch, Wei Wuxian makes a risky gamble— he'll agree to participate in an ancient ritual for cleansing the spirit, so that his character can no longer be called into question. The catch? He has no idea who his partner for the ritual will be.
This is also book-verse! As the tag says “Let Lan Wangji Fuck the Yiling Patriarch”!!!!!!!!!!!
Hurricane by gdgdbaby (Wangxian, E, 6k) ***
"Haven't you heard?" Nie Huaisang replied, clicking his tongue, though he was clearly pleased that he could be the one to break the news. He leaned in to announce with a dramatic flourish: "Lan Wangji just took emergency family leave this past weekend."
WANGXIAN AS SPIRK STAR TREK PON FAR AU!!!!!!!!!!!!! WEEWOO WEEWOO WEEWOO!!!!!!!! This was actually recced to ME by CHI and I have not stopped thinking about this fic for a full month. It’s like author gdgdbaby sat down one day and was like “Tumblr user Liv Scottspack deserves everything she wants in this life.” and then wrote this fic. Thank you author gdgdbaby, I love you.
WORLD’S WORST THROUPLE (3ZUN)
The body is a blade by rheawrites (3zun, E, 2k) ***
In which Lan Xichen is taken by surprise, Nie Mingjue takes what he can get, and Meng Yao gets what he wants.
This was the first 3zun fic I ever read and whew baby, got it in one! It’s actually a slight AU but it gets their characterization so right and is a very fun read. One of those fics I go back to frequently because it does so much with so few words.
shang tiantang by fuckwarlock (3zun, E, 4k)
They wanted so much, and with the way A-Yao gasps at the saber-calloused hand unfastening his belts, he does, too. The night air twirls with the scents of osmanthus and cinnamon and melon. Lan Xichen smiles, leans in, and ghosts his lips over the crook of A-Yao’s neck. What kind of brother would he be if he didn’t give A-Yao what he wanted? “I think it’s your turn to ascend, A-Yao.”
The Venerated Triad celebrates the Mid-Autumn Festival the best way they know how.
Truly the only way the venerated triad works is if meng yao gets Destroyed :-)
Favour and Fate by soulgusttheguardian (3zun, E, 8k)
There have been times in Meng Yao’s life when he couldn’t help but wonder how he came to be in his current situation. Found himself reflecting on the choices leading up to whatever misfortune had befallen him that day, and pondering why fate hated him so.
Granted, there had also been times when he couldn't help but wonder just what he had done to earn the favour necessary to be rewarded with certain things...
The current situation he found himself to be in, however, was definitely the latter.
More of the same! Truly I personally can never get enough of the 3zun dynamic in smut fics its just too goddamn motherfucking GOOD!!!!!!!!!!!!
the stars do not take sides by everyearning (3zun, E, 4k)
Mingjue isn’t sure he’s ever seen Xichen do anything other than treat the boy like a porcelain doll and it’s laughable to him, to think of Meng Yao as something breakable, instead of the sharp, deadly object he is.
Okay one last “Destroy Meng Yao” 3zun fic! Enjoy!
never as alive as we are right now by ThirtySixSaveFiles (3zun, E, 12k)
Three perspectives on three sworn brothers, at three different times in their relationship.
(Or, three times 3zun got it on and some of the feelings they had along the way.)
Wait actually I want to end the 3zun fics on this one because it has true Emotional Resolution at the end and I think they deserve a little healing.
BABY BOYS. BABIES. (THE JUNIORS)
A Civil Combpaign by Ariaste (Jin Ling/Lan Sizhui, T, 20k) ***
“And,” said one of the pompous ministers, “there’s the matter of a marriage to consider as well!”
Jin Ling, who at the beginning of that sentence had expected to slam into the very last wall of his patience and lose his temper entirely, paused. “A what?”
Thing was… it wasn’t such a bad idea.
A MUST-FUCKING-READ!!! Jin Ling gets it in his head that as sect leader he should get married and sets his sights on Lan Sizhui. I cannot stress enough how FUCKING CUTE this fic is!!! Sizhui being the best boy! Jin Ling having more uncles than he knows what to do with! Jiang Cheng being the worst at relationship advice! It’s so fucking good it love it so much.
Anyway, Here’s Wuji by kakikaeru (Lan Jingyi/Lan Sizhui, T, 18k)
The melody gets a little clearer when he breaks out of the trees, and Jingyi changes course with certainty, barreling down the back hill and through the Cloud Recesses, dodging scandalized disciples left and right. He throws open the doors to the Receiving Hall without announcement and bows nearly double, eyes on the floor instead of on the shocked faces of the Mei delegation and the impenetrable gaze of the Chief Cultivator.
"Forgive this disciple," Jingyi shouts, because he's going to get punished for rule breaking regardless. "From the back hill, Hanguang-jun, there is a song in the wind!"
Lan Jingyi comes of age.
A Jingyi-central fic about Jingyi growing up and falling in love and being a hero and being the second best boy of my heart right after Sizhui. Not only is this fic sweet and romantic but it’s another one that explores a lot of interesting things within canon and all of the supporting characters are written very well and are just as interesting as second best boy Jingyi.
Ok, JiuJiu by kakikaeru (Jin Ling/Ouyang Zizhen, T, 16k)
Uncle's jaw works in the way that suggests he's about to say something irredeemable. Jin Ling, in a move of diplomacy he hopes the Chief Cultivator appreciates, distracts him with spicy food and his favourite subject: the incompetence of his own officials.
"I hear the lakes in the south east are having drainage problems?" he asks nonchalantly, sticking three big slices of braised pork belly into his Uncle's bowl.
Jin Ling just wants to get through the Discussion Conference with his Sect, his dignity, and his heart intact.
A follow up fic to “Anyways, Here’s Wuji.” I LOVE the Jin Ling/Ouyang Zizhen dynamic of Jin Ling having been raised by Jiang “I keep all my emotions right here and then one day I’ll die” Cheng AND being hopelessly charmed and smitten with Ouyang “President of the I Love Love Romance Novel Book Club” Zizhen! I LOVE IT! EXTREMELY CUTE!
Lan Sizhui's Guide to Courtship by Kimblydot (Lan Sizhui/Lan Jingyi, T, 23k)
In which Jingyi is a little oblivious, Sizhui is patient (and should have said something in the beginning), and everyone else is resigned to watching them dance around each other for far longer than necessary.
(Or: five things Sizhui tries to do in his courtship, and the one time Jingyi realizes there was one happening in the first place.)
I’ll stop describing fics about the juniors as being “cute” when they stop being SO FUCKING CUUUUUUUUUUTTTTTTTEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!
His Merit All My Fear by violettressed (Lan Sizhui/Lan Jingyi, G, 16k)
It’s too late for any of Hanguang-Jun’s rabbits to be awake -- one of the sundown chores for young disciples is to herd them back into their hutch -- but the rabbit field is as good a spot as any for quality sulking, so Lan Jingyi makes his way there.
Someone has beat him to it.
Lan Jingyi stares at Hanguang-Jun. Hanguang-Jun stares passively back.
When Lan Sizhui is swept away with the Ghost General, off on a new adventure, Lan Jingyi is the one who returns to Cloud Recesses alone.
Not only another extremely cute Sizhui/Jingyi fic BUT one that includes a Wangji/Jingyi friendship??? Incroyable! *chefs kiss*
spirit running wild by idrilka (Lan Sizhui/Lan Jingyi, E, 17k)
He doesn’t know, exactly, when the friendship he shared with Sizhui over the years has changed into something that’s made Jingyi finally understand why Hanguang-Jun always wears that expression whenever he looks at Senior Wei. There hasn’t been one single moment that he can point to and say, yes, this is where it started, because the thing about falling in love with your best friend is that it happens gradually, until it’s impossible to tell which step has been the deciding one.
Jingyi goes to Baling with a crush.
Written by the same genius that wrote the first three fics I made you read so you know it’s good. Its truly the childhood best friends to lovers of it all! Sizhui is adorable and Jingyi is a mess! *muah!*
FAMILY FUN TIME (NO ROMANCE, JUST FEELS)
Grow by cafecliche (Lan Sizhui & Wei Wuxian, T, 14k)
“Okay,” Jingyi says, as Sizhui puzzles this out aloud. “Okay! So the demon has been turning its victims into children.”
“I think so,” Sizhui says.
“To make them easier prey,” Jingyi says.
“Yes,” Sizhui says.
“So—” Jingyi’s voice cracks here, “this kid is Senior Wei.”
Wei Wuxian, still tangled in his own massive robes, blinks politely at them.
(Or: Wei Wuxian is cursed on a night-hunt, and the junior quartet rapidly finds themselves in over their heads.)
What I expected to be a goofy, silly fic turned out to be extremely emotional and made me FULLY CRY! It’s a very moving fic about Sizhui coming to understand himself and Wei Wuxian a lot better AND features all of the juniors arguing over who’s turn it is to hold 6 year old Wei Wuxian. A true win/win of a fic.
To The Act of Making Noise by words-writ-in-starlight (Lan Sizhui & Lan Wangji, G, 19k)
His father in white plays the song late into the night, and when A-Yuan wakes up confused and afraid, the guqin lulls him back to sleep.
Lan Sizhui hears his father play the same song every night for his whole life, and never, ever get an answer.
Another very moving and heartwarming fic about Lan Wangji raising Sizhui and Sizhui figuring out Wangji’s past and then eventually reconnecting with Wei Wuxian. It’s cute and soft and Sizhui is my best boy!
History (Proud To Call Your Own) by words-writ-in-starlight (Wen Ning, G, 5k)
“A-Yuan? Um—Lan-gongzi,” Wen Ning corrects, trying to set a good example. The children are young, seven and eight, exactly a dozen of them lined up in two crisp lines of tiny blue and white robes. Wen Ning can feel them staring at him, even though most of them have already mastered that Lan trick of neutrality. The smallest, a little girl with liquid dark eyes, is clinging to her nearest shijie’s sleeve and half-hiding. “Can I—what can I do for you?”
Wen Ning gets himself recruited for services, while he and Sizhui are visiting Cloud Recesses. Wei Wuxian gets a fan club.
Set in the same universe as “To The Act of Making Noise,” a very cute fic about Wen Ning finding his place in the post-canon world and being proud of Sizhui and being the world’s best substitute teacher. As the official Wen Ning Fan Club President, I had to include this.
the stone-filled sea by yukla (Lan Sizhui & Wei Wuxian, T, 9k) ***
He forgets how quickly Wei-qianbei changes faces, sometimes. Like pulling a theater mask over a bruise—color over color, a diversion with the swipe of his hand.
Lan Sizhui navigates a world that hates his father, one endless wave at a time.
Oh man oh man. I will never get enough of the fics where Sizhui (and the rest of the juniors) get ANGRY on Wei Wuxian’s behalf!! That’s their dad and their teacher and their friend and they will DEFEND HIM!!! YEAH BAYBEEEEEEEEEE!!!
PICK & MIX (MISCELLANEOUS)
This Side of Paradise by greenfionn (Wei Wuxian/Wen Qing, E, 3k)
Wei Wuxian does some very quick math in his head that goes something like this: He is pretty sure he’s in love with Lan Zhan - Lan Zhan is not here and likely never will be here - Wen Qing is here, not to mention very hot and let us not forget, actually interested in sex with him - there’s a solid chance he goes genuinely crazy or dies, or both, in the next few months and really, who wants to die a virgin?
Listen.......the fic premise is “Wei Wuxian and Wen Qing, noted bisexuals, figure life sucks enough at the Burial Mounds, they might as well have any fun they can before they die” and........I Am Looking Directly At It. It features Wen Qing bossing Wei Wuxian around and Wei Wuxian’s canon he-wants-to-be-pregnant kink. It’s........I liked it.
palm to palm is holy palmers’ kiss by iodhadh (Song Lan/Xiao Xingchen, M, 15k) ***
The realization strikes Song Lan like a bolt of lightning: Xiao Xingchen laughs, and he wants with a sudden, stunning desperation to kiss the mirth from his beautiful mouth. How, precisely, he is meant to manage that—that, he has no idea at all.
Or: introspective meditations on touch, trust, and the problem of desire.
I Am Baby and for some reason cannot handle how sad the entire Song Lan/Xiao Xingchen storyline ended up so I rarely read songchen fics, and when I do they’re always soft pre-canon fics like this one. Luckily there are some very beautiful and moving pre-canon songchen fics!!! I love you fandom!!
purpose and ritual by iodhadh (Song Lan/Xiao Xingchen, E, 8k)
Song Zichen has beautiful hands. He's a powerful swordsman, strong and skilled, unfairly impressive and unreasonably handsome. He is devoted and self-disciplined and he takes direction like a dream. And he doesn't touch people—no one at all, if he can help it, except for Xiao Xingchen.
The poets might call him a saint, but Xiao Xingchen is so very, very human.
More of the same :-)
born to sweet delight by la_dissonance (Song Lan/Xiao Xingchen, E, 10k)
Xiao Xingchen lightly jumps into the center of the pool, the water a shock that cools his sticky, heated skin, and does nothing for the heat building inside him. When he surfaces, pushing the hair out of his face, he finds Song Lan's gaze and meets it. Between them, everything goes both ways. What Song Lan will offer, Xiao Xingchen will freely give too.
Or, Xiao Xingchen and Song Lan meet, pledge their lives to each other, and then fall in love.
This is about the angstiest I will go for songchen and its still absolutely Baby Soft lmfao!!!!!!
Pin it down by rheawrites (Jiang Yanli/Jin Zixuan, Jin Zixuan/Nie Mingjue, E, 2k)
“Yanli, I did not lie on our wedding night. You are the only woman I have gone to bed with. But… there was a man.”
“Oh?” Yanli blinks up at him. She does not appear horrified, or betrayed, which is surely a good sign.
Jin Zixuan swallows. “It was Sect Leader Nie,” he says quickly, as though that will make it easier.
“…Oh,” says Yanli, and her eyes are dark.
-
Jin Zixuan tells his wife a war story. Or, two thousand words of Jin Zixuan getting railed.
Have you ever looked at Jin Zixuan and been like “I bet that mf likes getting PEGGED!!!!!!!!” Well here’s the fic for you. 
*YIBO VOICE* DIDI LOVES YOU! (YIZHAN RPF)
never really over by gdgdbaby (Yizhan, E, 10k)
The thing is: it would be good to see Xiao Zhan again — if Yibo could just trust himself to be normal.
Author gdgdbaby is the yizhan master, so here are five of my personal favorites of their fics, starting with this post-filming reunion fic that was the first yizhan fic I ever read and HIT real good after having just finished the show myself.
pedagogy by gdgdbaby (Yizhan, E, 17k) ***
Yibo opens his mouth and says, "I want to learn," barreling past the rapid rise of Xiao Zhan's eyebrows. "To last longer. Will you teach me?"
Quick-fire Yibo comes too easily and Xiao Zhan helps train him to last longer :-)
you’re the reason that i just can’t concentrate by gdgdbaby (Yizhan, E, 10k)
Xiao Zhan hears about it from Yu Bin, which probably should've been the first warning sign.
Yibo was only 20 when they filmed the untamed, which lends itself perfectly to fics like this.
a truth so loud you can’t ignore by gdgdbaby (Yizhan, E, 5k)
It's their last day of filming in Hengdian when the secret comes out.
If yibo has to be a fictional virgin than SO DOES XIAO ZHAN!
if you would only let you by gdgdbaby (Yizhan, E, 32k) ***
"Well?" Yibo demands. Past the severe frown tugging at the corners of his mouth, a flicker of the old him slips through, the persistent boy who shoved his way into Xiao Zhan's space without a second thought and made a home for himself there. "Are you coming or not?"
Xiao Zhan's heart twists. He forcibly settles it back in his chest. He's only told Yibo no once in his entire life, and it was already the hardest thing he's ever had to do. "Okay," Xiao Zhan murmurs, quiet but decisive, and thumbs his phone off. "Let's go."
Like I said, all gdgdbaby fics are incredibly good, super well written, and very hot, but this one does stand out from the bunch for being a Full Epic Romance! This is one of Chi’s favorite fics so that should speak to it’s quality!
baby, who’s counting by nobirdstofly (Yizhan, E, 12k)
Xiao Zhan gasps, trying to rein in another peal of giggles. “What do I owe you anyway?”
Yibo shrugs one shoulder, and his smirk deepens. “Haven’t decided.”
Xiao Zhan’s still staring at him, laughter gone in his dry throat, when he hears someone yell for a reset. Yibo’s eyes are so, so dark, and he hasn’t stopped watching Xiao Zhan this whole time. Xiao Zhan swallows, nods, and pushes every dirty thought out of his head.
(Or: Yibo bets Xiao Zhan he'll break first during a take, Xiao Zhan loses, and it's all downhill from there.)
Ah sex bets, who doesn’t love sex bets!
Mystery Dance by mrsronweasley (Yizhan, E, 16k)
"That? That's your confession?" Yibo's toppled onto Xiao Zhan's side and is clutching his shoulder, trying not to fall over. "That's pathetic!"
"Oh, what, you can do better?" Zhuocheng is pretty flushed and there's a challenge in his voice that Yibo just can't walk away from.
"Hell yeah, I can. Hit me, Yu Bin." Yu Bin cheers and refills Yibo's shot glass. "All right!" Yibo downs the shot, gags only slightly, and says, "Everyone! I'm a fucking virgin!"
WHAT’S better than a Yibo virgin fic? A SECOND YIBO VIRGIN FIC!
This author also writes extremely good yizhan threesomes so here’s three of them!
Some Nights by mrsronweasley (Yizhan/Xuan Lu (Jiang Yanli), E, 2k)
Xuan Lu opened her legs to him and Xiao Zhan wasted no time diving in. He pressed his mouth against her pussy, licking her out steadily as her thighs trembled around him. She was nestled between Yibo's legs and if Xiao Zhan looked up, not only could he see the planes of her body, her small breasts going up and down with her breathing, ribs expanding, her tipped back head and open mouth, but Yibo, gaze boring into Xiao Zhan's as he ate Xuan Lu out.
The entire cast is hot and there is no reason they shouldn’t ALL fuck! Not one reason!!!!!!
gege loves you by mrsronweasley (Yizhan/Wang Zhuocheng (Jiang Cheng)), E, 7k)
"We are very sorry," Xiao Zhan murmured as he unbuttoned Zhuocheng's jeans while Yibo kissed his ear, "for how we've been acting."
"Is this how you apologize to everyone," Zhuocheng panted, hands already going for his zipper to help Xiao Zhan along, "or am I special?"
WHEW LORD!!!!!!!!! WHEW!!!!!!!
Talking in the Dark by mrsronweasley (Yizhan (Side Xiao Zhan/M/F), E, 14k)
Xiao Zhan has a light-hearted romp of a threeway with some friends, then makes the mistake of telling Yibo. It goes down.
A non-yizhan threesome BUT features jealous!yibo which is a ton of fun.
Finally, a couple AUs!
With Joy and Purpose by feenwitch (Yizhan, E, 30k) ***
Yibo has been alone for approximately five Earth years when Xiao Zhan crash lands on his planet.
YIZHAN ANDROID AU!!!!!!!! This is a very star trek-esque universe which is fun, but the fic itself is also CRAZY interesting and moving and beautiful!!!!!!!!! It’s A LOT! This was a rec from Nina, so thank you Nina!
Bound With a Same-Heart Knot by mrsronweasley (Yizhan, E, 59k)
London, 1892. Xiao Zhan, a promising young attache at the Chinese embassy is tasked with showing the new ambassador's son Wang Yibo around London. The inevitable happens.
Victorian AU! I actually think you already read this, but included for posterity.
AND SCENE! This is the result of two months of daily fic reading, having 50 tabs of fic open at any given time, reading truly anything and everything, and Loving The Untamed. I’m SO EXCITED you’re diving into fic for this show and I can’t wait to talk to you about all of them and to have someone to scream with! WOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!
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miraculouscontent · 3 years
Text
Askplosion #12 1/4:
.:Asks Referring to Previous Miraculous Posts:.
Anonymous said:
I think that story with Delmar, Sabrina and Alya is only type of Alya demonization you accept.
(the post this anon is referring to)
Absolutely.
I also accept “demonization” for like--comedic purposes. For example, if they had Alya be all in on the love square and all no Marinette you’re not allowed to give up on Adrien if it’s Lukanette endgame and Alya’s (and possibly the rest of the girl squad) “demonization” is for the sake of their dramatic reactions to the mere idea that Marinette would be both not into Adrien anymore and also into someone else.
I just think the idea of turning things on its head by making the people around Marinette the subject of jokes instead of it being Marinette herself.
Anonymous said:
Alya going "Need Some Help?" reminds me of Karma and Nagisa from Assassination Classroom(I said it right this time!). Obviously Alya is Karma and Sabrina is Nagisa(and now Karma's jazzy motif is playing in my head). And Delmar is probably(and by probably I mean almost fucking definitely) Kayano. For real though, I didn't even know Delmar's name until I read that ask/response now. I mean, like, that's how forgettable and underutilized he was. And no, Ms. Bustier isn't worthy of being Koro-sensei.
(the post this anon is referring to)
Still not familiar with Assassination Classroom so I will let the other anons who are familiar with the series silently judge for themselves. ;P
As for Delmar, don’t feel bad; his name actually isn’t mentioned in the special to my knowledge, and it was a tweet that confirmed his name.
Anonymous said:
Oh yeah, the "Astruc gets hit with a washboard" was SUPPOSED to be a shout-out to Koro-Sensei Quest, in which Karma gets hit with a washboard(don't ask where it came from or where they go when they hit the ground, the world may never know) every time he acts like a smug-ass little bitch. You know, like Astruc. Often, the washboard will ricochet off his head and hit a red button, which then opens up a pit which Karma then falls in. In other words, Karma getting Karma! If only Astruc could too.
(the post this anon is referring to)
khfjdgdg ahhh, yeah, thanks for explaining! I’ve always said that I’m not very media-savvy so sometimes I don’t know about more popular shows.
Anonymous said:
Eventually Salty Decadent Court
(the post this anon is referring to)
lol we just slowly upgrade our way through the salt ranks
Anonymous said:
I was thinking about your edit of Desperada, and how I would definitely love to edit the ATLA finale to cut out Kat/aang and Mai/ko stuff lol.
(the post this anon is referring to)
Oh yeah, that’d be amazing! I imagine it’d be difficult, but not impossible. Sometimes it might be better to sacrifice good shots or move scenes around for the sake of making things cohesive.
Anonymous said:
Kagami when adrien its back from NY: I'm sorry adrien, but I have feelings for two blueberries, we have to broke up
Adrien: eh? Broke up? We were dating?
(the post this anon is referring to)
I like how this ask doesn’t specify whether the joke is that Adrien might’ve just been way too “friendly” with Kagami and gave her the impression that they were dating, or a joke on the fact that the show itself doesn’t specify that they’re dating, or both.
A+ 10/10
Anonymous said:
If Adrien does get akumatised because of jealousy about Marinette, I hope someone (Kagami would be great) points out that Marinette was never akumatised for that reason even though she had waaay more scenarios that could have turned out that way. So don't blame yourself, Marinette!! (I also hope Kagami yells at anyone else *cough*Alya*cough* who tries to blame Marinette.
(the “Didn’t Need Burrow” that this anon is referring to)
We just want someone unambiguously on Marinette’s side, is that too much to ask?
Anonymous said:
"It's difficult to animate" hasn't stopped others before (Lord Shen, the Phantom Thieves of Hearts, etc). You may do it as a hobby, but this are professionals who should have done more than the bare minimun.
(the post this anon is referring to)
I agree. I’m just trying to keep things like budget in mind. A bunch of free-flowing clothing is fine but I’m basically like--okay, but you don’t NEED the stuff that would hamper the budget to make things look good.
Anonymous said:
I don't know why, but I'm picturing Ladybug confronting Chat Noir after he gets back from New York like a mother scolding her teenage daughter for sneaking out at night.
(the post this anon is referring to)
Honestly? Accurate.
Anonymous said:
Clara Nightengale: I sensed Marinette was in trouble, so I came to this school on the doub-- Jagged Stone: It's okay, I already got her.
(the post this anon is referring to)
jdhgdjkfgkjfg Jagged and Clara walking down the street together all cool, Jagged still having Marinette slung over his shoulder, and everyone watching is just, “??????”
passivedecept said:
Honestly
After reading your last bit i feel cheated that Jagged isnt included more
But it may be better that he isnt like luka's dad.
Can you imagion?
Luka: dad. I like someone.
Jagged: who?
Luka: a real nice and talented girl name marinette and- who are you calling?
Jagged: penny because we need a place for your wedding STAT!
Because i firmly believe if jagged had a son who was dating marinette he would do everything to get mari as his daughter in law.
Okay that was it. Love every fic and small bit you make. And i was wondering if you had your own fav. Like. What have your written so far that you like the best yourself?
(the post this anon is referring to)
Do you mean it’d be better because love square is endgame so it’d be messy? Because otherwise, not gonna lie, Jagged meddling and being super supportive sounds fun. :P I’m not here for love square meddling but Lukanette meddling is cute because both parties would be mutually aware of it and also be into it.
As for my favorite fic I’ve written? That’s probably too tough to answer, ahaha. For sure, it’s something Lukanette-based, but I know that doesn’t narrow it down much at all. It would also probably be one of my fix-its/canon divergences because I’m crazy for multiverse/alternate timeline stuff (I hate time travel, but I’m all about multiverse, I adore that stuff).
Anonymous said:
In one of your Didn't Need Burrow masterposts, when someone said that Marinette and Adrien had kids and a hamster who'll get Miraculouses, I somehow misread that as "the kids as well as the hamster itself will all get Miraculouses".
(the post this anon is referring to)
I’m sure at least one of my anons would snap back at that with a joke like, “well, with the standards set for who gets a miraculous, I wouldn’t be surprised.”
rogueinthedigitalworld said:
Would like to pop in for a second to say that yes, Maribat *did* start out as a spite ship, because the original creator was a heavy Adrien salter and wanted someone to replace him… and chose Damian Wayne, for some reason. Since then, Marinette has been shipped with all the Robins (and from I can tell, they’re all warped into actuallynice!Adrien with two gimmicks added from the *actual* characters). I’m pretty sure I’m forgetting something, but that’s the gist of it.
(the post this person is referring to)
Thank you for the response! Yeah, I didn’t know if it was like Spider-man and Ladybug - which I don’t think is a spite ship but I might be wrong - so I didn’t want to say that it was a spite ship without being sure (and obviously, some shippers of it could be just genuine shippers, who knows).
Anonymous said:
Okay, but seriously, when I first joined the ml fandom I was so confused about the maribat. I'm not really a big fan of either romance or comics (except for sandman lol) so I kind of filtered them out but it's kind of an experience tbh. I'm pretty sure it started on tumblr though- everyone sites it as the ozmav au
(the post this person is referring to)
Thank you for the extra clarification, anon! Yeah, I have that ship blacklisted (so I don’t see it around) but not really out of hatred for it; I tend to blacklist names/people/ships that I’m either indifferent to or don’t like (I immediately blacklist people who write angst, people who cross tag, and people who do onesided-Lukanette and don’t tag it that, even if it’s just one offense; I don’t play games, lol, if anyone does something I don’t like, I filter it out because I filter everything).
Anonymous said:
Your images of Luka and Marinette kissing are so super kyute! What program do you use to render them?
(the post this person is referring to)
Thank you! I made them myself!
The program I use is MikuMikuDance, using an edited version of the shader “GreenerShader 1.14″
14 notes · View notes
level247-table-tech · 4 years
Photo
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here are the sprites on their own! not all of them, but there are way too many to fit up there. i’m leaving the rest under the cut.
others include significantly asymmetrical sprites, as well as a bonus set. 8)
these don’t really clarify their relative heights. they are not adjusted to the bottom pixel i actually drew for sure, that’s not how i aligned them. i actually have a guideline in the file, but. i can’t really show that.
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above are the regular sprites. it took ages to figure out what i wanted to do with virgil’s plaid, but it turned out going simple with it was the best plan. also it looked very bad until i figured out to use values correctly.
also, while we’re at it, i can tell you some things i changed between projects! this is a remaster of my last attempt at pixelology, and i do  believe it’s an overall improvement.
virgil’s plaid, yeah, changed that, but also the colour of his hair, because the old one blended too much with his skin. glad that happened to virgil, because i was trying to keep the hair highlights the same for everyone, with differently-tinted shadows. i did give him a bat instead of the wings this time, because a, he seems like a bat kind of guy, and b, the wings sucked and i don’t think i could improve them. like, the best thing about those wings is that they were the ace flag colours, and since his general colour scheme is already like that, it’s not a spectacular saving grace. they also made the frame fit weird, but i don’t like drawing wings absurdly small, like why bother? i alos tried to be a bit more competent with the jacob lines in his shading. those are an indicator of fear so of course i wanted to keep them included, but last time i feel like i didn’t do great, and this time i think i improved. especially on the legs. it is kind of a pain how there are adjacent sections where the shadows are done in the same colour, but. that’s really who virgil is, let’s be real. wouldn’t be the same without the all-black clothes.
also, patton’s different skin tones were really bad, you could barely see the shadows, so i changed them. his overall shape also did not work, so this time i stylized it a bit more to fit with the pixels. also i gave him a different weapon. hopefully it’s still funny in its incongruity!
roman had very little change. like, i really like his original sprite! i did change some of the gold details, but the biggest thing is probably the pants. they’re white with a red stripe because, a, it looks very good, and b, it set up a parallel with remus.
and remus. most obviously in the first one, his different head angle super didn’t work. it was very bad! which, in his case doesn’t automatically rule it out, but this one looks way better next to the majority of these. i mentioned relative heights earlier and this one should actually be the same height as roman, you can align them by their chins. aside from that, i added a lot mor detail to his ruffles, i tried my best to maintain clarity on his torso, i got the sleeves just plain wrong, but it looks fine, and it happened to be very good art that led me astray on that, so whatever. i feel like his morningstar might have gotten worse between versions, but what can you do. maybe i accidentally put it at a slightly harder angle to make look nice. whatever.
logan! i don’t think i’m doing these in any real order, sorry. like patton, his shape has been changed to be more stylized to fit the pixel thing. like, a realistic taper on the legs, as it turns out, looks pretty bad! exaggerate it or make it just straight lines and it is better. i feel like i very much improved his hair, and i also added the belt that he wears which i forgot last time.
lastly, janus. well, lastly for now, but the next one won’t be a remaster of anything. i gave him his canon weapon instead of snakes, which, not sure what i was thinking gameplay-wise for those. [that’s a lie, i was thinking nothing about gameplay because i am no gamemaker. i’m not even an animator, much as i’d like to be.] when i made his last sprite, i forgot the lining of his cape is yellow. also last time i had not seen the magnificent longer cape from the game sections of svsr, which as i’ve mentioned elsewhere i am never letting go of, ever. so that features here. it kind of blends with the backgrounds i use for the vs character selection screens, but i don’t think that’s necessarily a downside. aside from that, i did remove some scales from his right hand because we have now seen it, and it’s proven bereft of those. as you’ll see in a second though, fortunately no such thing can be said of his legs. nor upper arm.
now for the bonus set. you may recognize this theme if you’ve followed this project awhile. 8)
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some notes on these specifically:
-this is simply a complete set based on janus’ bonus sprite from the original project this is remastering.
-i tried to base the colours on their onesies. that proved harder than expected. remus and janus have no shown onesies, but
>i had janus’ previous sprite on hand, so that was him taken care of.
>virgil’s onesie didn’t really have multiple colours, so it’s just different shades of black, with some grey thrown in because white is already a base colour.
>logan’s, oh boy, i thought i remembered it having two colours, but i was wrong, it is just blue. and white, but again, that doesn’t work. so i gave him a couple of shades.
>patton’s, i didn’t really want to use grey as a colour, but it actually had two others, they were just in trace amounts. it was okay.
>remus. nghh. i wanted to use like, an inverted version of roman’s colours, but it turns out blue and yellow inverted is yellow and blue. so i used the orthogonal colours instead, and i’m not really sure it was a good look.
-aside from colour schemes, each of these has its own little variation, because i felt like having fun. aside from any kind of socks/leggings, because whatever, those are pretty variable anyway, each has one detail different. from most to least noticeable as i see it:
>patton has pants instead of a skirt. i just thought the look suited him better. the thing about patton is i always imagine him in Dad Fashion, which doesn’t have a ton of skirts in my mind. maybe that’s just my dad, but eh. i do think it’s a good look but i didn’t draw it very well.
>roman has a different crown. need i explain further? adding the others’ crowns was a bit of a pain considering how they interact with hair that isn’t drawn in anime style.
>virgil’s might not be too noticeable on its own, but the leggings kind of direct the eye there. he’s wearing his own boots instead of any variety of sailor scout ones. mostly because they are much, much cooler.
>logan has a different collar. closer to his usual polo than... whatever the sailor collar is actually called. he also might not have the same choker necklace as everyone else, but mostly you just can’t tell. still tied with a weird bow thing, though. how the hell do those bow accessories work?
>janus has a longer cape. again, need i explain further? he’s also the only one with a magical girl wand, because his colour scheme* was the most permitting and i really wanted to draw coily ribbons.
>remus is kind of like virgil with the leggings, but again, those don’t count, and with remus they draw attention away from his change. anyways, the different thing about his outfit is the sleeves. i only noticed long after i was out of the pixel stage that none of the sleeves are accurate, but his are even more not accurate, they do the poof thing. also his neckline’s a bit lower, but i mean, how could i not?
-i might assemble a full scene with these, if anybody asks. or nobody, i kinda just want to. it’s not too much trouble, but it won’t be animated this time, that took ages and i don’t think it even turned out well. i gotta find somewhere to actually get taught things about animation, though it also just does not gel with my medium.
-i can’t for most of these, but for janus i can talk about some improvements. his crown looks more visible, though that might just be compared to this side of his face. the skirt is not better and might be worse to be honest. also the bow on his chest. other than that it’s definitely better for the gloves actually being incorporated in this one.
*i do actually have set colour schemes for these. i tried to even limit the number of colours for each one. that said, most of them have exactly 17 instead of the nice power of two 16, and one of them couldn’t even fit that bill.
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howlingmoonrise · 4 years
Text
Thoughts on Petshop of Horrors: Wandering Ark volumes 1 & 2
(also on dreamwidth)
HOW did I manage to miss the translation of my long-awaited Papa D PSOH series?? I've been stalking it ever since I found the announcement and somehow the fact that @ruthlessnightsscans​ already put out the first two volumes completely went past my head.
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Obviously I had to read it right away, sleep be damned.
this is the edited version of my brain thoughts after i managed to get two sleeps and calm down a bit or it would be a lot more incoherent
The art: the initial pages really remind me of the old art! Unfortunately it goes back to the roundness prevalent since the Shin series (which has only become even rounder with time) not long after. That art style is also a lot less dynamic than the original, I find. It's a bit of a problem on scenes that are supposed to have some tension caused by movement. This is nothing new since, like I said, Sensei has been using this art style since a good while ago. I really miss the original art though. It had a major nostalgia punch to it and a lot more feeling as well.
-- First chapter: "I am on a journey with no destination in mind" just say you're on vacation and go off I guess. 
Papa is... weirdly easy-going. I want to say it's because he's not yet mad with grief and his son being taken away and so on, but the glimpses we saw at his time in university definitely didn't paint him this soft. There's no edge to him, on this volume or the next. 
Regarding the story itself, I can't say I loved it but it’s not the worst out of all of them (there are four in total between these two volumes, and a third volume is on the way). I liked Koushun's character, but Seiyou annoyed me, especially when he presumed to know what she wanted (or perhaps he didn't presume, but decided for her what was better anyway) - something like I Shall Revive This Species So Breed In My Name Okay Bye. Note also that while Koushun was willing enough to marry (thinking she was marrying someone else but that's another point entirely), the groom himself came in chains. And then Seiyou... locks them in together? Great. Just great. Very conducive to a loving mood indeed, locking a woman with a potentially dangerous stranger who might cause her harm and telling them both to fuck (note. the. chains. you don’t put chains on someone you think is harmless; they never put any on Koushun even when she attacked Seiyou). I was afraid for her when it cut to another scene here, with the last we saw of her being pushed against a wall and being told by the groom that it seemed that he would have to make a child with her. "Rather than hate each other, I want to break that curse"? Seiyou, sweetie, that is NOT the way to make them not hate you. ((The reveal that Koushou is some sort of creature - very PSOH-y - does not help, since putting two wild animals together without them being used to each other is perhaps even more likely to them killing/harming one another.))
MAJOR little mermaid vibes on Koushun standing over a sleeping Seiyou with a knife. 
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There are quite some parallels with the D species on this tale of bloodshed and revenge. The Ds could stand to learn from this, though historically they don't. "Even if you kill the third prince, the Kagetsu people are already gone. They won't return." Papa himself says that 'winning on the last available tile' is a waste of time, which really resonates with his research into reviving lost species and the issues of his own kind. A reference to the health of descendants when no new blood is introduced is also made here, which might or might not point to our D depending on where in time this Papa is from.
--
Second chapter: it's... frankly, super choppy. The story is all over the place. On the author's note, Akino herself says that it's a challenge to put the whole life of that empress in 57 pages, and I have to agree. Either it should have been cut to the REALLY relevant parts and worked on them some more, or be discarded in its entirety. It's too rushed. The whole first part was unnecessary: it could have started with her already working at the palace or being chosen as a concubine, and then made references to her previous life in her thoughts instead of wasting several pages on it when that backstory won't be going anywhere (except for some references to Hakubun whom she sees on that other actor - who dies like, two or three pages later, so that's that on that). I do like Ranji herself as a character: she's clever and quick to pick up on things. Her life is just a series of tragedies one after the other, unfortunately. 
Papa D is some sort of benevolent helper in this chapter for some reason - this pattern repeats somewhat on the next chapters, but on this one there isn't really anything to gain for him at all, other than perhaps his dubious acquaintance with one of the concubines/future empress, which wouldn't really hold much weight since he met her ?once? apart from near her death.
And then, somehow, the initial Papa D in this chapter was actually Sofu?
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Sofu???? I'm calling bullshit. As far as we know - going back to Sofu's own series and flashbacks on the original PSOH, even - Sofu never had a hairstyle of that length, and out of our three known Ds (new!D excluded) he's the one least likely to help a human just because. The ark is also said to travel through space and time, so I'm saying that's Papa D and that's it. Fun aside: on this chapter, Papa says he's the "third generation", meaning that on this series he's probably the youngest existing D (and by inference our D does not exist yet).
Also, some issues with in-story continuity here: when the last emperor dies Ranji still looks fairly young and the emperor-to-be is three years old, a couple pages later she looks a lot more aged but the new emperor is still three years old. To be honest, I think the story would have been tied off much better if A-chan had some connection with Hakubun or the eunuch instead of each having their very brief, individual emotional connections to her - which, in turn, doesn't really make them memorable. The "wishes" thing was interesting, really called back to the old PSOH tradition with the mystical pets and bittersweet be-careful-what-you-wish-for endings.
--
Third chapter: I think, overall, this was probably the one I liked the best. Can't really bring myself to call it my favourite though, since none of them even begin to compare to the original PSOH chapters. I cackled at the "jawline is too sharp" dialogues and thoughts: with this art style EVERYONE has the same round jaw as every other character, and it's the furthest thing from "sharp" possible.
With this series it really seems like Sensei is giving more focus to trying to tell historically-accurate stories rather than focusing on the stories themselves, as there is a huge amount of superfluous historical information to be found in these volumes. 
The empress Elizabeth reminds me of Sofu, in truth. She won't "mind" affairs and the like (read: she will hate it but ignore them) as long as it works towards her ends. Her taking away the newly-born child is a huge parallel to Sofu regarding both Papa and D, and D and new!D. Child-snatching FTW! That being said, I actually kind of liked her, ruthless as she was: the whole reason why Sophie made it as far as crown princess was because Elizabeth valued her hard work. You don't get to hold an empire together without having a steel spine and a cunning mind (or people to do the work for you I guess, but here it doesn’t seem to be the case).
I hate that Sophie had to change even her name and religion to fit her new reality, accurate as it is to history. That sort of thing always messes me up (throwback to the Nazi/teddy bear chapter of the original PSOH series, where there was also a name/religion change for the sake of survival). Not a reflection on the author in any way, I just hate that this is something people had to go through. As something I hated that kinda does reflect on the author, though, was the ugly = terrible association with Pyotr and the maid. Sophie/Catherine is initially said to not be beautiful but she's not depicted in the same way those two are at all. 
Papa's benevolence is thankfully offset this chapter by the fact that he does have something to gain here. For some reason Ds doing things merely for the goodness of their hearts kind of rubs me the wrong way unless it's D during or post-Leon. 
Most PSOH victims clients: oh a pretty person! WHAT DO YOU MEAN IT'S AN ANIMAL Sophie/Catherine: a dog you say? sounds kinda hot ngl
Gotta respect how she just jumps straight into the dog affairs. The take-back of the empire was also nicely executed, and I'm always here for ladies in traditionally male clothing. 
--
Fourth chapter:
This is linked semi-directly to the third chapter by virtue of the amber room Papa D craved. Marks also the second time that Papa takes a human on board of the ark.
D, circa end of original PSOH, a single tear rolling down his cheek as he watches Leon plummet towards the earth: Humans have not earned the right to board this ark. Papa D: I'm gonna go for a joyride and take along this human and this human and this human and this human and--
Papa really gives Doctor Who vibes on the ark matter. Travelling through space and time, occasionally taking human companions? The one for this chapter - who I'm guessing might be a cameo from one of Sensei's other series, since I didn't recognize him and there was no backstory for him on the chapter - even has era-appropriate wardrobe changes (at least assuming it's the same person and not just someone who looks similar scratch that they have eyes of different colours so I guess Papa has been giving rides to delivery men now), the second of which leaving me very ??? as to WHEN he is from. 
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That last Look(TM) reminds me a of Leon Orcot, between the long ponytail and the clothes resembling the ones Leon wore on the last chapter of Shin PSOH (in PSOH time, that would have happened approximately 15 years after the end of the original series, meaning that Papa was already long dead then. Unless Leon's style was just stuck in time, which is also very possible). 
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It might or might not have endeared him to me for that exact reason. What can I say? I'm a sucker for Leon Orcot, and apparently also for characters that visually remind me of him. ANYWAY.
Why another Nazi-era chapter??? Sensei plz. One was already enough on the original PSOH - it wasn't anywhere near my favourites back then, either - and the fact that this one mostly followed a Nazi colonel didn't help either. Here we witness them tearing down the amber room, "reclaiming" art from all over the world, a father's heartbreaking sacrifice to “save” his daughter’s dog, and Papa D coming to meet the Nazi dude. One would expect the Ds to avoid genocidal racists given the fate of their own species, but apparently the Nazis were relevant enough for not one but TWO Ds to interact with them. Oh well. Either way, I really don't like how Papa appears to not care one way or another - when the D for the original series interacted with people he didn't like, his mask was really fairly obvious (at least for the reader). Perhaps Papa simply has a better mask. Perhaps those nuances were lost to time and round art styles. Perhaps Papa or Sensei just don't give two shits. Guess we'll never know.
EVERYONE seems to comment on the flavour of Papa's tea: it's 4 out of 4 so far for these two volumes, and in this chapter in particular it seems as if it's laced with some kind of truth serum - it seems to be Papa's version of D's (and possibly Sofu's?) incense from the original PSOH. A reference to the original PSOH's Nazi chapter is also made here, with Papa mentioning that Sofu was on friendly terms with Eva Braun: this implicates that in this time they were in closer contact (not surprising since Sofu probably hasn't stolen his still-non-existent kid yet).
The colonel seems to value art over human life - surprise surprise! - so he kills his own comrades to keep the art "safe". A stomach-turning moment comes where they find human golden teeth being kept as treasure, which Papa mentions remelting to turn into golden nuggets. Why, Papa/Sensei, why? It's in poor taste, even if you're testing the colonel the way D did with some of his clients on original PSOH.
At the very least an eerie moment comes next where Papa explains that dead creatures can be revived using DNA. "Even dead people?" Cue Papa's all-seeing stare directly into the reader's eyes (and presumably the colonel's as well) with a backdrop of an inverted black-and-white multitude of graves as he says that future is not very far. Colonel almost shits his pants, with reason when you consider the amount of people the Nazis killed off that would presumably come after them. This almost forgives the teeth comment, and it's probably the first moment in these two volumes when we see some genuine emotion on Papa's face (on this page and the next), creepy and maniac as it might be.
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Colonel dude has spent the whole chapter justifying everything under "orders of the fuhrer" so far. Then comes the moment that Papa calls him out by saying that the orders were to burn his sweet dear art so that it wouldn't fall into enemy's hands, and it's here that we see how much of an hypocrite the colonel is when he doesn't want to follow those orders. Suddenly it's "treasures of mankind" (even though he's been stealing them left and right) and the fuhrer is "a fool" (even though he's been using his orders and his "greatness" as justification for everything). 
Suddenly, Papa's companion! Who the heck is that! Shoots him! This is someone whose family was killed by the colonel (directly or under his orders) or so he says; he's gripping a piece of art we don't get to see, which is presumably the reason for those deaths. Now in the future! A guy who looks a bit like that other man who shot the colonel, but who I'm not 100% sure if it is or is not the same person because the round art style makes everyone look alike Someone who is definitely not the same guy because his eye colour is different (and who's dressed in a sporty outfit with a long ponytail, which I've mentioned kinda reminds me of Leon) looks for the amber in the place the art was stored, alongside Papa. He flies on the ark (all these humans on the ark, Sofu would have a conniption!) and reminds me of Leon once more while being shouty and holding on to the main mast for dear life.
The sacrificial father mini-plot also gets resolved with the dog returning (but not the father himself) along with a picture with that family. Which is presumably the picture the other dude who shot the colonel was holding, which begs the question: how is he related to them? He doesn't look like any of them, but he did say the colonel killed his family while (presumably) holding that same picture, so hmmm. Maybe he's the dog, colour-scheme aside? But apart from the father, the rest of the family seems to have survived, so it's kind of a strange thing to say since that sort of wording usually means more than one person. Even if he is the dog (my money is on that option), it's not exactly obvious to a reader who's not looking very closely. Some loose ends there, or at least ends that don't really look like they're tied together at all.
"No matter how long winter is, spring will come." Fairly hopeful final words there, Papa D. These echo similar ones spoken by D at the end of Shin PSOH, after running from Leon once more ("someday, the season for returning will come"): perhaps both these Ds are not as pessimistic as to their future, at least at this point? Poor Papa definitely had a change of heart between his series and the ending of original PSOH, unfortunately.
--
General thoughts: Sensei hasn't quite managed to replicate the feeling of the original PSOH just yet. The storytelling feels a bit shallow and rushed, though the pacing improved from the first volume to the second. There's also very little focus on Papa himself for some reason: he's more of a background character on his own series except for the fourth chapter, which is a very strange narrative choice. In part this might also be because he doesn’t have a permanent companion to discuss/argue with like in previous iterations of the PSOH series. I wonder if the third volume will continue on this trend? I wish it’d delve a bit more into Papa, but either way it’s still nice to get some more PSOH content.
I've heard Vesca will make an appearance next volume, I'm so excited!! Out of Shin PSOH, my favourite chapters were Leon's (surprise surprise!) and the ones with Papa and Vesca on their university days. Papa definitely seemed a lot sharper there, which I miss here - I feel like Sensei has been smoothing out all their edges like with the art style lmao, and in turn it makes them feel a bit lacking since the Ds are not meant to be bland and forgiving and easy-going, at least as per their original portrayal. I've also seen sneak-peaks of Leon and D from author notes of the next volume so I can't wait at the chance to weep at the slightest panel of my son Leon.
A final shoutout to RNS for continuing the PSOH translations! I really can't thank them enough!!
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canaryatlaw · 3 years
Text
okay so, I have a super long crazy travel story from June 2014 that I'm always telling and the full version of it just came up on my facebook memories and I feel the need to post it (it was a tumblr post at the time too, it got like 150 notes) mostly so I can post the link on twitter, so here you go:
Okay, here is the full, unedited story of the absolute ridiculous adventure we went on yesterday. It is long.
The plan for the day was to pack up from our London location, hop on a train to a town called Keighley, where we would get on a steam engine train to a town called Haworth that is the location of the Bronte sisters home, and spend the day there. We were then going back to Keighley, take the train to Lancaster, then catch the final train up to the Lake District, with an expected arrival time of 8 pm.
Well, for waking up at 6 and running across London, through the tube, and to the train station with all your luggage for a 10 day trip went surprisingly smoothly, but after we get on the first train that ends. Upon arriving in Keighley we had about half an hour to get the next train, so the plan was for a rental company to bring a van to the train station in which we could store our luggage for a few hours, so we could walk (up a ridiculous incline) all over Haworth freely. Get to train station, no van. Oh. Well apparently the rental company sent somebody to take our professor to get the van and bring it to the train station without telling us, and said person was sitting in their car texting, oblivious to the visibly panicked Americans who just showed up. He does find her and manages to get the van back to the station. We load our luggage in and quickly hop on the steam train. Okay, stressful, but not too bad.
We arrive in Haworth and are told the Bronte house/museum was "just at the top of the hill." Well, apparently the British have a different definition of this phrase than Americans. Just up the hill turned out to be several miles up through fields, stores, old houses, everything. But yes, we reached it- and it was at the very top of the hill. Go on tour, look around town, nice little time. We were to meet to walk back and catch the train at 4. It was imperative that we were on time, as upon arriving back in Keighley, our professor had half an hour to return the van and catch the only train back to Lancaster. Amazingly, we did it, despite how far away the rental place was. It looked like that headache was over and we just had a long, luggage attached ride up to the Lake District.
Well, now the real fun begins. We arrive at the Lancaster station right on time, with about 20 minutes until our train north. Our professor double checks with the station manager about what platform and what train. The warden is very friendly, assuring us that we're in the right place and cracking jokes with us. As the train pulls in, our professor yells to the warden to confirm, and he does. So we board the very crowded train with all of our suitcases. It takes us a good 5 minutes just to get seated with our luggage out of the way. As we get settled in, the conductor comes to check tickets. Our professor hands him our group ticket with itinerary....oh no. This is the wrong train going in the wrong direction. Bad. We were told we had to get out at the next stop to take a train back to Lancaster, to then board a correct train.
Well crap. We get off at the next stop, irritated, and again ask for assistance. We easily found the train we were looking for....the one that didn't arrive until past 9. It's just past 7 at this point. Mind you we are in the middle of nowhere. There is literally a station platform and a small strip of stores. No town, no wifi, no buses, nothing. This sucks, but we have to just wait it out. At the end of the small strip of shops is a "micropub." Everyone was pretty fed up at this point, so we decided to head over to unwind a bit. Micropub was a very accurate descriptor. The whole place was about the size of a bedroom, and already filled with people. Did I mention there were 15 of us? Also, they only had drinks and pub snacks. Oh well, everyone is just like what the heck so we get some snacks and a good number of us get a (singular) drink. We sit on the sidewalk outside of the pub consuming this, much to the amusement of the British patrons. They got quite a kick out of the largely given up hope group of Americans. We actually manage to have a bit of fun, and by the time the train comes everyone is happy and laughing, and just a little bit tipsy.
We take the train back, literally one stop, and wait at Lancaster for the right one. Everyone was pretty much in that crazed overtired mode where you act ridiculous and think everything is really funny. The other train patrons obviously thought we were crazy, and the station manager was quite embarrassed by his snafu that landed us back here. But hey, the right train finally comes. It takes a good 5 minutes stopped at the station for us to get all our luggage stacked and make sure everything was correct. We call ahead to the car company that was to meet us with the rental in the Lake District and the Bed and Breakfast where we'd be staying and they were both able to accommodate our time change. How lucky! Almost. We get off the train at the Lake District and unload all our luggage. Just as the train is leaving and and everyone is collecting their individual bags, we notice that nobody is claiming this black suitcase, that suddenly looks quite unfamiliar...oops. We took someone's bag by accident...and the train is gone. Well we all felt bad knowing we just made someone else's day a little worse, but we give it to the station manager and go to meet the people with the two vans we'd be using for the next two days. Except there not there. So we wait...again. Finally, they do show up, with a quite clueless old man trying to instruct us on how to program where we were going into the GPS and failing miserably. Keep in mind we had very shotty cell service (since we were still in the middle of nowhere) and using data overseas is quite difficult. We can't figure out how to turn the audio of the GPS on, so we resign to leaving the station going off the visual instructions. It was only supposed to be about a 20 minute ride, and hey, what else could go wrong at this point right? Surely we had exhausted our Murphy's law quota for the day. I mean, we had gone on 9 trains.
Well. Apparently at this time of year the sun sets very late here. As in it was finally getting dark…at 11. But when it did set, it was very dark. So we are traveling further and further away from the small bit of civilization we had on very narrow European roads, in the middle of the woods, in the middle of nowhere, and the GPS starts malfunctioning, telling us to go down a road then when we do starts re-routing us elsewhere, ad infinitum…Oh yeah, and there's also a whole lot of mountains here (seriously it looks like the shire, it's gorgeous) so the roads were quite hilly, and we had an American driver who's not totally accustomed to this, and it's a manual transmission…what's that burning smell? Is that smoke? Oh no, that's smoke. And it's coming from the car.
Crap.
The transmission was not happy and started smoking, everywhere. The smoke then got through the AC vents into the car, where everybody starts choking and coughing…so we pull over and literally jump out of the car. It was at this point where I was legitimately worried for my life. We were in the middle of the woods, on a hill, with a broken car, no cell phone service, and by now it's midnight…yeah, this was bad. I was also partially convinced the car was going to blow up.
And then in an unforeseen plot twist, I managed to save the day. We were trying to figure out what the heck to do when I tried to look at my maps on my cell on a whim…and it loaded. What? It had us located. Okay….so I type in the name of the bed and breakfast, not knowing the address…and it loads. Oh man, the GPS on my phone is working!! The transmission had cooled down some, so we very carefully climbed back in the car, trying to follow my GPS. It took us another 40 minutes of nowhere-ness…up to the point where the road was only wide enough for one car, barely even enough for our van. And about a hundred "are you sure we're going the right way?" to which I could only respond "…no?" And then there was a rabbit in the middle of the road, so we slowed down…and it stopped. So we move forward and it moves, then reverses, then stops and we were all going crazy and screaming for the poor rabbit to get out of the road and not meet it's death at our hand. It's probably relevant to mention that this is also where Beatrix Potter lived, so that probably fed into that….and the inn appears. Miles away from absolutely everything. We pull in, I shut the navigation off, and then look in the corner of my phone to see that it had just now switched to no service whatsoever.
The really crazy part? When we headed back into town today with a better sense of direction, I had no service for at least 5 miles away from the place. There's no way my GPS should've lasted that long. And so that's the ridiculous story of how Rachel saved the day. 📷
(the fact that is left out of that story is my phone gps only worked because I went ahead and switched my data on, which resulted in a $600 phone bill, but I deemed it was in fact an emergency and my dad had no issues paying the bill, so it all worked out)
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radramblog · 3 years
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Star Wars Battlefront II (the good one)
My nonfunctional internet is preventing me not only from finishing off my essay, not only from watching the lecture that I would have shown up for were it not for mediary COVID restrictions, but it’s also stopping me from writing anything here that would require any sort of research or confirming details. That leaves me with less options that I would have thought.
Browsing through my Steam collection for ideas on what to talk about, and something jumped out at me pretty quickly.
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Star Wars Battlefront II (the 2005 game, not Star Wars Battlefront 2, the sequel to the EA remake much maligned for malicious microtransactions) is a first/third person shooter that, while showing its age, remains one of the best games the franchise has ever put out. This is, of course, an opinion coming from someone who has yet to play Knights of the Old Republic, but it feels like Star Wars as a franchise has more misses than hits. So what makes this one land?
While I’m woefully unfamiliar with the early 00s shooters that Battlefront II was competing with (aside from Counter-Strike Source, but I’d argue that’s a different target market), I am extremely familiar with this one. I think part of why Battlefront II is so fondly remembered is on account of it being almost a gateway game for people getting into shooters in general- I for one played it extensively on my mate’s PS2 in primary school, and later on someone else’s PSP, and I doubt I would later have clicked so strongly with Halo if I hadn’t.
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But what Battlefront II has more than anything else I feel is ambition. After the conclusion of the prequel trilogy, Star Wars’s universe was big, and the developers seemed interested in representing about as much of what we see of it’s style of warfare as they possibly could. As a result, the maps are a glorious smattering of worlds and terrains, loving and detailed recreations of places from the various films as well as a few that are probably new (I might just not remember them), each drizzled with vehicles and turrets and resources. Each of the game’s four factions share the basic units with very few differences (except for the Super Battle Droid), making them easy to understand and grasp for newer/younger players, with the complexity of each’s unique units paying off those willing to grapple with their weakness and play to their strengths. Some are definitely better than others, but that isn’t especially obvious at first. The basic classes reflect tropes seen in other games and while again some falter it’s not by enough that picking them in the wrong situation is a guaranteed blunder.
There are, of course, the heroes, major characters from the series granted to a player who’s doing pretty well, and I feel like this is another pretty well handled mechanic, even if a little awkward. There are enough of them, and they’re distributed enough between maps and factions, that they don’t tend to feel stale, and it’s pretty obvious that while they can absolutely ruin a team it’s also pretty easy to mishandle them. Unfortunately, heroes are related to one of my biggest complaints about the game, but we’ll get to that later.
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One of the biggest selling points in my eyes are the dogfight levels. Now, I’ve never played X-Wing or the like, in fact my experiences with dogfighting games is extremely limited. But this part of the game fucks so hard. The design ideas begun with the class selection continue with the (admittedly small) range of starfighters you can pilot, with specialised interceptors, bombers, and landing craft to go alongside the effective all-rounders. The mode offers a variety of playstyles, between hunting down opponent’s fighters to bombing their flagships to boarding said flagships and destroying their systems from the inside. There is also the option of manually controlling the turrets, as well as acting as a gunner for someone else’s bomber/lander, but these positions are unfortunately underpowered and underexplored- they’re also, ultimately, less fun. But the dogfighting just feels right. I can’t really explain it, but moving in that 3-dimensional space feels not only satisfying but accurate to the source material in a way I don’t think any future Star Wars game has yet replicated.
I suppose the various game modes are worth discussing. Skirmishing on whatever map you want is the standard, at least in multiplayer, but there are a few unique offerings you won’t see in other modes- Hunt, where it’s a faction versus some of the series’s wildlife in a mode that always feels imbalanced towards one side or the other. There’s obviously Assault- the standard name for the space dogfights but on one ground map (Mos Eisley) it is of course the ever-popular heroes free-for-all, a chaotic mess but one where you can test out each one and figure out what their abilities actually do. But in the broader strokes, you’ve got the story, and the Galactic Conquest, as the two main other modes.
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(oof, they really didnt build this with this resolution in mind huh)
That’s right, this game has a story, and it’s…okay? Ultimately it’s just a series of missions with the 501st, as they fight in the clone wars, turn on the Jedi, and ultimately become the Empire’s tool of oppression, separated by exposition. You get to run through some scenes from the movies, including the boarding at the start of the first movie and the Battle of Hoth, though some of the missions feel harder than intended- no matter how good the player is, the AI is not going to fare well in the tougher missions and you have a solid chance of ending up on your own.
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Galactic Conquest is the game’s more unique selling point, being something like a basic version of Risk but with the dice-rolling battles replaced with Star Wars Battlefront II. You earn credits over time and through victory that you can spend unlocking types of units, getting new fleets to improve how many fronts you can wage war on, and unlock powerups for use in the actual battles. It’s largely fine, feeling like a bit more controlled and strategic version of just playing randoms in Instant Action, but it suffers the most from the biggest problem this game has.
The game’s truest flaw is its AI. They are dumb as a sack of potatoes, and the main thing holding the game back from perfection. And it was the early 00s so imperfect AI was to be expected, but it’s a bit more than imperfect here, I guess. Robits standing still while shooting you (or just at all, while you’re sniping them), extremely questionable vehicle and turret usage, and literally crashing starships into you, your flagship, or their own flagship. Bumping their difficulty up doesn’t really help, either. Even more egregious is the AI’s usage of heroes- or rather, that they don’t. If you’re playing single player, the game will always give earned heroes to you rather than your robot teammates, will not let one of them take if it if you decline to use the character, and you will never see one on the opposite side. This would imply that there wasn’t code for the Ais to use them, except there clearly is because Assault Mos Eisley exists- and they’re arguably much better there than in any other mode! It’s a real shame, because the low quality of the AI combined with the nature of the games means that victory is extremely polarised based on the player’s skill- if you bad all the way up to pretty decent at the game, your input basically doesn’t affect the outcome, whether you win or lose. If you’re good at the game, you will never lose at singleplayer, possible exception again being Assault Mos Eisley. It’s a little absurd, honestly. Also, I’m not even sure they go for the flag in CTF in space.
I am, however, willing to look past these flaws. The game is far from perfect, but it’s just incredibly fun. It’s a type of gameplay that they’ve tried to replicate, but never quite recaptured- and I think part of the reason for that is because the awkwardness is part of the charm. It’s nostalgic- both for those who played it when they were younger and just those in my generation who grew up on the Prequels. It’s also way more expensive on steam (bruh 14.5 AUD for real?) than I expected, but it goes on hard sales pretty often (I think I paid like a buck fifty for it), so it’ll be within budget at some point. I don’t know if I can recommend it for those who aren’t nostalgic, though, solely on account of those awkward features you likely wouldn’t be able to ignore like I do. And that’s a shame, because it’s not like they’ve made a better version of this game.
Fuck EA, basically.
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havendance · 4 years
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The Gaang as MASKS Playbooks
(Because I am nothing if not a creator of niche content when I actually make stuff.)
This is for the Alternate Universe where they’re all superheroes because I love both MASKS and Avatar and I have opinions that I’m going to share. There’s at least two potential playbooks for each character because there’s a lot of possibilities and different playbooks can focus on different aspects of the characters. Plus, more option is always good. 
Anyway, without further ado (under the cut because this got long, I have a lot of thoughts on this matter apparently) the Gaang as MASKS playbooks:
Aang
The Legacy - This is the one that makes the most sense to me and the one that I feel most reflects Aang’s core internal conflict in the show. The legacy is all about bearing the weight of previous generations and their accomplishments and actions. Aang is just the latest in a long line of heroes known as The Avatar who can wield all four elements. For the portion of the playbook that’s about interacting with previous members of the legacy, you could either go with him talking with the past lives like we see in the show or, alternatively, the past couple Avatars could still be alive and kicking. Either way, they’re still watching what he’s doing and trying to push him in what they think is the right direction.
The Nova - This one fits a little less but could still work. The Nova playbooks’ about having a huge amount of power that you can’t necessarily control. For the most part in the show, we don’t see Aang worrying about not being able to control his bending, but this playbook would play more into his fear of losing control in the Avatar state and his worries about hurting someone with firebending.
The Outsider - Okay, this one is a bit of a stretch since the playbooks’ weighted in favor of the hero being an alien or from another dimension. But! I feel like you could definitely hack the playbook to accommodate Aang just being from a hundred years in the past as well if you want to play with that aspect of canon Aang. This playbook would definitely lean more into the whole ‘a lot has changed in a hundred years’ thing. (The Innocent playbook is explicitly from the past, however, it also has a future, supervillain version of yourself running around which, while could be cool for Aang, also deviates a lot from canon
Katara
I’m going to be honest, Katara was the hardest one for me to come up with. None of the MASKS playbooks’ particular flavors of teenage angst really jive with Katara’s drive and passion to help people and make the world better after it hurt her. I’m going to toss out a few options here, but if anyone else has any better ideas here, feel free to add on.
The Legacy - Katara as this playbook would really play into her status as the last Southern Waterbender. It’d take tweaking of the playbook but you could shift it so it’s about this legacy of heroes and more about the legacy of her culture. So it’s less about the outward pressure to uphold the legacy and more about the inward pressure from herself to uphold it.
The Protege - The Protoge playbook has a specific mentor who’s trying to shape the hero into their vision of how a hero should be. Using this playbook, you could definitely really examine her relationship with Pakku or Hama. However, it’d definitely be exploring more of a niche of Katara than her overall character.
The Soldier - Once again, this recommendation is based less on canon and more on stories that would be potentially interesting to tell. The Soldier playbook focuses on the relationship between a hero and the larger organization that they’re a part of (the generic on the game gives is a SHEILD equivalent). I could see Katara being a passionate member of a similar organization (possibly one White Lotus themed since this is the Avatar version of MASKS) and trying to change the world through that. I feel like this is one where Katara’s character could definitely shine, however, it’s definitely a setup that doesn’t have a lot of basis in canon so if you were wanting to play Avatar more straight in MASKS it wouldn’t work as well.
Sokka
The Beacon  - Sokka is a textbook beacon. The beacon is a low-powered hero who’s in the heroing business because it’s fun and exciting and a lot of their angst draws from the fact that they aren’t really sure if they belong in a world of superpowered individuals. Sokka’s got his boomerang, he’s got his sword, and he’s got his tactical mind. All of his friends are like crazy powerful. He’s the Beacon.
The Joined - The joined is a playbook that shares a lot of the material of another playbook; the two characters have a close relationship. Now, I’m not saying that Sokka’s just playing second fiddle to Katara. What I am saying is that it was Katara’s idea to become a superhero in the first place and she dragged him along with her into it. Did Sokka want to be a hero? No, he want to stay home and focus on taking care of his family. He didn’t want to be the Painted Dude or whatever Katara said his hero name should be. But does his sister listen to him? No.
Suki
I, unfortunately, have less to say about Suki. We should’ve gotten more of her in the show, that’s what I’m going to chalk it up to.
The Protege - Okay. I will admit, this one is purely what I think would be cool and isn’t actually based in canon. But imagine: Suki as the protoge of Avatar Kyoshi who’s still alive, still kick ass, and still very opinionated. Can’t you see the glory? The potential?
The Soldier - This playbook would probably reflect her most accurately. She’s a member of the Kyoshi Warriors first and foremost in the show and her interactions with the Gaang are always affected by that. In a superhero setting, I could definitely see her and the other Kyoshi warriors being some sort of superhero squad that works throught the SHEILD equivalent
Toph
The Janus - The Janus is the spiderman playbook. You’ve got a mundane life, you’ve got a secret identity, and you’ve got to balance them. Toph is rich heiress of the Bei Fong family by day, and notorious vigilante The Blind Bandit by night. This is the perfect playbook to explore the dual life Toph led before she straight up joined the game. Her parents are super annoying, her life’s a drag, at least as a hero she can be free and who she really is.
The Delinquent - The Delinquent is, in essence, a rebel. Try and tell me that that’s not Toph ‘Let’s break some rules!’ Bei Fong. I mean, just look at some of those playbook moves: Troublemaker, I don’t care what you think!, Team? What Team?, Mary Contrary. Those are such Toph moves.
Zuko
Okay, Zuko has a lot of possibilities. I’m going to blame it on the sheer amount of angst that boy has packed into him.
The Soldier - Okay. I know that I’m using the soldier a lot (it’s because they’re all child soldiers) but hear me out. This would be Zuko if you wanted to play with him going through his redemption. In this case, the Fire Nation wouldn’t super obviously supervillains. They’d probably be some sort of organization that looks outwardly good but is secretly fishy. Ozai’s at the top and of course Zuko’s loyal to them. They’re the good guys. (They aren’t.) The soldier isn’t specifically about breaking away from your organization but it definitely can be.
The Reformed - This playbook fits post redemption Zuko like a glove. The Reformed playbook is one where you were specifically a supervillain previously. You’ve done villainous things, but now you’re a good guy and it’s complicated. I don’t think I really need to explain why this playbook is Zuko. It just is.
The Janus - This is for all of you Blue Spirit!Zuko needs. Look, his life sucks, his Dad’s a jerk. There’s way too much expected of him. At least he can put on this Blue Spirit mask and go out and do vigilante stuff.
The Scion - I’m going to be honest, I’m not super familiar with this playbook but I feel like I have to mention it because it’s about being the child of a supervillain. So I’m tossing it out there. Other people who actually know about this playbook can talk about whether or not it actually fits Zuko.
Bonus:
Mai - The Beacon. She’s the least enthusiastic Beacon you’ll ever meet, but look at her and tell me that she’s not in this because being a hero is the most interesting thing that’s ever happened to her. Her life was so boring before Ty Lee walked up to her and was like hey, let’s be vigilantes together. She’d never admit it, but she loves being a hero.
Ty Lee - The Star. The Star playbook is all about being flamboyant, showy, a celebrity. Being a hero is what separates her from her sisters and she’s going to milk it up. She’s still non-powered for the first part, only having her martial arts and auras, but she knows how to play it up. She definitely has a huge social media following.
Finally, The Outsider playbook could work for any of the characters if you just want to play it straight as a character from the Avatar universe getting dragged into this alternate world of superheroes.
Feel free to discuss and share any ideas you have!
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winbutlerscowbell · 4 years
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Terminator Dark Fate Analysis Mexico Edition
Welcome to the Terminator Dark Fate Analysis Mexico Edition, where I’m going to dissect, comment and give my constructive criticism at every reference, landscapes, locations and well, everything that goes Mexican in this movie of ours.
  First things first: I just realized the version delivered to the mexican theaters is DIFFERENT to the rest of the world, why? Because the characters who originally speak Spanish are DUBBED AGAIN, like double dubbed. So ironically, in Mexico we couldn’t get to hear precious things like “no mames”, WE WERE DAMN ROBBED.
OK HERE WE GO:
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That bridge is sending me, it really looks like a bridge from here or vial distributor like they call it in a more elegant way.
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No, forget it. That kind of bridge doesn’t exist here but nice try, I appreciate that.
Here’s where something really funny starts because what they say doesn’t match with the subtitles at all hahaha 
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The girl says “no mames” and it’s subtitled to “Oh my God” AND it was dubbed as “No inventes” hahaha this can’t be...
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And here, the guy says “yo siento lo mismo”, it’s subtitled as “I feel it too” which is accurate but when they dubbed it they went with “¿y esos ojos?” lmao
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Can’t forget to mention this ICONIC scene, of course.
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The moment when the cops arrive reminds me of the meme where there’s some thiefs robbing something and the cops are asleep but there’s someone naked or doing something else and a fucking troop arrives, here is one example of the meme I’m talking about:
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kidnappers - cops asleep, thiefs - cops asleep,narcos - cops asleep,an old lady selling flowers - the fucking troops.
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"¿Qué le pasó a tu amiga, wey?" the cop saying this hahahsha lmao like I said WE WERE FUCKING ROBBED.
The girl saying “qué pedo wey” when they’re arresting her hahah, I actually predicted at least one “que pedo” would be said in this movie and finally I can see my prediction turned out to be true #SamPatchVidente
The casa de papel guy aka the cop is going to be beaten the shit out for wanting to take Grace to the ministerio publico.
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Cops getting beaten the shit out of them: oil on canvas 
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And here’s the first mistake: the patrols have signs saying “policia municipal” and “cdmx” (Mexico City). In real life that’s impossible as “policia municipal” (municipal police) is one thing and “cdmx” is a totally different city, patrols can’t have both things but hey, the design is spot on.
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"Eso estuvo padrísimo wey" hahsha lmao this time I prefer the dubbing where they go with “eso estuvo padrísimo, güera”, cause I like when they call Grace güera.
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Never in my life I imagined I’d be alive to see this piece of art: Mackenzie with “Sí señor” playing in the background. The first time I saw this I was losing my shit even more cause Mackenzie was somewhere in the same room, probably watching the scene too. This is so powerful, wow.
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This is sending me hashaha, in the dubbed versión the guy shouts at her “pinche gringa ratera” (fucking gringa thief or something) and it’s translated to “Go to hell lady” come on hahahaha so I prefer that over the original version, damn it I wish I could have a hybrid version of this cause is gold.
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The heroic CDMX, fuck yessss! I would have loved to see the Popocatepetl. I’d like to think the suavicrema is in the background, so maybe is Chapultepec?. So what is a suavicrema? Could be like a brand of ice cream wafer and that tall building in the background looks like one, lol. Omg, ok I’ll stop.
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Next: we can see doña pelos in here cooking her food. Doña pelos or doña lupe is how we call every lady who sells food in the street, so for practical effects this lady is doña pelos.
Here’s the proof we call them like that:
It translates: “So doña pelos is taking marketing courses” cause she’s using an Adobe logo to promote her food of the day, which is “adobo de cerdo” hahaha
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Let’s move on.
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No, it’s not “do you want your tamal”, it’s “tortita de tamal” aka the famous guajolota, that’s what she’s asking. A guajolota is “a sandwich composed of a tamal placed inside a bolillo or telera, which is a rounder version of a bolillo.” Yes, I got it from Wikipedia, don’t judge. 
Also, a lady selling garnachas (like quesadillas, etc.) AND tamales? That’s new.
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She also sells mangos? Wowowowow that’s versatility. 
And “le robo un manguito” “can I steal a mango?” Dani, you have to pay for that, you can go to jail for like 30 years, I’m serious, remember the meme of the cops?
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Someone said she may be a prostitute and I can’t even…so you can’t dress with whatever you want? But also I’m a little suspicious and she actually may be one depending on what zone is Dani supposed to live. 
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A pink cab! I thought it was a Nissan Tsuru because they always are but this time it’s not. Missed opportunity, production design team. 
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“Let’s put Frida Kahlo to emphasize this is Mexico, what a good idea , why not?” 
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Multifamiliar o vecindad? we're about to find out.
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Why does she have a bike hanging on the wall? Is that a thing? 
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The fruit on the table, the vase, and the squared table cloth, that evoked things in me.
About the music: I mean, it’s okay they put latin music but I am fucking sick to death of this Bomba Estereo song, I fucking hate it. There, I said it.
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147 likes, that’s how excited the guys who think they’re Dj’s or something are when they upload things to soundcloud. 
One thing I don’t understand is: if they live in Mexico City, why are they talking in english now? Did I miss something? 
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Never seen anyone in my life name a dog “Taco”, only “Chilaquil” but that’s another story.
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Arturitooo from la casa de papel! or how I like to call him: el cñor <3 (it means señor but with a c because it sounds the same).
Interestingly, now there are two actors from la casa de papel appearing here hahaha 
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LMFAO that’s a flagrant fucking typo: “tomalito” hahshaha that’s an unforgivable mistake. It’s “tamalito” obviously. 
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Now, what’s up with the serape blanket on the wall? Hahaha we call them sarapes but come on, we’re not like that…well yeah but no… It would have been funny if the serape had a drawing of the last dinner hahaha that would have triggered childhood memories.
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The cñor from la casa de papel is going to the imss for his medical check up. Imss is a horrible public health institution but that’s what we have so…
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Ok, this is GOLD: the serape blanket, a picture of la Virgen de Guadalupe, the couch covered with sheets and ANOTHER serape blanket, the sewing machine hahaha they missed the calendar from the fruit store or the butch shop, damn haha
Did taco survive? I guess not :(
Also when Diego sings: Y’all, you could have saved some good money by picking up another song, I mean, it’s a beautiful song by Juan Gabriel but I heard it was very expensive and now in retrospective you could have saved something in this little simple thing.
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So it’s a vecindad I guess.
And how did they hang the clothes in the middle? :v Can these people fly? That would be a Mexican super power to take advantage of the maximum possible space. 
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  Un viejo encueradooooo, tápese cochino.
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A green bussssss!!! We call them microbuses and the location gives me historical downton vibes because of all the people in the street. 
Oopppp another pink cab, I love it. 
I am the only person on this planet who is excited to see those microbuses in this movie, yes I am. 
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I FINALLY KNOW WHAT THE ROUTE OF THE MICROBUS SAYS! It says "LAGO DE GUADALUPE, E. ZAPATA" WHICH IS INCORRECT HAHAHAHA. Also, the man with the hat hahaha it’s Mexico City not Monterrey.
Lago de Guadalupe is not in Mexico City and “E. Zapata” maybe is the subway station but they’re absolutely not close to each other, well let’s move on. 
 The casa de papel guy aka Dani’s dad is speaking with a heavy spanish accent tbh
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And... Goodbye Mr. casa de papel :(
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They make it look as if everybody works there, it’s not a little town, you know?
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Why the fuck is an employee riding a bike inside the factory? I don’t get it. 
When diego says "chale" hahaha same.
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"Un robot, que chido eh" hahaha chido and it’s subtitled as "it's cool" adjka god help me please.
El señor Sánchez represents me.I mean, there was a little bit of criticism because all the mexicans represented here are white but hey, try looking for someone who looks like a mexican in damn Europe, they did the best they could.
Aaaagain: if they are in Mexico City, why the hell are they talking in english? I’ll never understand.
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Typical police guy distracted with the damn phone, yes we are in Mexico.
That policeman looks like Burt Reylonds (?)
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Wish Grace would’ve arrived in that microbus hahahaha
That microbus is weird, nope I don't know her. 
That microbus has the same route as the previous one but it has something else under “E. Zapata”, like “Tecnologico” or something like that, ooofff maybe it’s Tecnologico de Monterrey hahaha that college is kinda near Lago de Guadalupe so haha ok, let’s keep going. 
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Another distracted cop, my Mexico.
I love how Grace beats cops everywhere, this is an irrelevant scene for this analysis but I just love it so much.
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Back to the factory: "Qué hace aquí tu jefe?" jasjdd "que haces aquí, jefe", the slang is on point here haha
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"Olvidaste tu comida mijo" jasdjkhd
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"Me quieren reemplazar por esa pinche máquina" apparently translates to a "they’re replacing me with that damn machine" jaksdj at least put a “fucking” or something.
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Again that heavy spanish accent with that deep voice, hmmm
I’m going to ignore the Factory fight because there’s no Mexican stuff here.
Well, Diego and Dani keep saying “vámonos” and they don’t fucking leave haha
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“GET IN” and Dani saying "ya güera ya güera" jakdhakjd I love her
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Pink cab is saved from being destroyed by Grace.
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Here comes the policía municipal to spoil everything. 
Ok, my theory is they are in the limits of Mexico City and the metropolitan area aka the state which is also a kinda not very good looking place and omg hahaha I love that.
Here’s when Diego slips an almost inaudible “no mames”, I know I heard it.
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And well, THANK YOU GOVERNOR OF MEXICO CITY BECAUSE THE PATROLS ARE NOT THE SAME COLOR AND THEY’RE NOT ACCURATE ANYMORE, THANK YOU FOR SPOILING EVERYTHING.
These are our patrols now:
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Ugh.
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Noooo the tacos :( this really hurt a lot.
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This is where I think they enter a highway called “circuito exterior mexiquense” that effectively connects the metropolitan area of the state with Mexico City and I LOVE IT. I love everything, do I?
Also some say the Rev-9 is driving a snow plow truck, is it? The only time it has snowed in Mexico City was in 1967, a long time ago.
Everything is screaming “circuito exterior”, yes I’m getting those vibes and I’m here for it.
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Another pink cab is seen. Fun fact: because of its pink and white colors, we call them “hello kittys” and before that they were like wine color and gold so we called them “iron man”.
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“FASTER GO FASTER”  Grace: “shut the fuck up, dummy”  and giving looks that could kill.
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Hahahaha those license plates are so damn old and they say “Chihuahua” and “Guanajuato” ahaha doesn’t make very much sense.
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The car of my friend hahaha
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The truck behaving like my friend’s car.
Here’s where as a mexican citizen who used to drive every day in that highway, I detected some continuity details in the pursuit scene: 
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ROAD SIGN 1: Nextlalpan/Jaltenco haha on the opposite side of the road.
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ROAD SIGN 2: Querétaro/Toluca/Tultitlán on the right side they’re driving
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ROAD SIGN 1 again: first mistake fellas, now the sign is in the lane where they’re driving.
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ROAD SIGN 3: Ecatepec/Texcoco, how do I know? I just do.
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ROAD SIGN 4: This is my fave because in this one there's my shitty town hahaha SALIDA LECHERIA-TEXCOCO AV.JOSE LOPEZ PORTILLO Y COACALCO hahaha
It really looks like the circuit, I drive there a lot of times and Grace was there, destroying everything :')
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ROAD SIGN 4: My fave sign now is on the opposite side, mistake number two.
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Each and every one of the times I went to the theaters to watch this movie, in this scene everyone was like "ohhhh what? omg nooo" 
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ROAD SIGN 4: Mistake number 3, the sign of Lecheria is shown again when the Grace truck had already passed there on the other side of the road.
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ROAD SIGN 2: There's again the sign of Queretaro/ Toluca/Tultitlan when Grace's truck has already driven over there.
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ROAD SIGN 5: Toluca/Lago de Guadalupe, remember? Lago de Guadalupe,  just like the microbus route sign.
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ROAD SIGN 5: Just because I love to see Mackenzie with those signs in the background hahaha
Anyway, the circuito exterior mexiquense is a fucking mess and of course I love it.
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Dani, I wouldn't go to the police either, they’re a bunch of useless idiots and I'm sure they would blame YOU for everything and get you into jail for 40 years.
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Really bitch? RECETA MEDICA AJSDKASDK he's asking her for a prescription lmao her face I can’t...
Also I always wondered how Grace understood the pharmacy guy but now I know that in the version brought up here, this guy was dubbed to spanish while in the original version he spoke english, those little differences and  I’ll never understand why they did it.
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Typical guy filming the mess hahaha 
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"Qué pasa güera" traduced to "what the hell", nice (not actually)
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That looks like a little town but God knows where is it, eww
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Sure, we all have an uncle who is a coyote (no, not true). We call them polleros, not coyotes but whatever.
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"Ojalá ustedes no fueran tan blancas" "I wish you two weren't so white" hasjdaj Love it.
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So they're going to the famous BESTIA (beast), that's the nickname of the train because it's so huge.
I'm laughing hard because in some sites they called this scene "train station scene" hahaha this is everything but a train station haha ffs
Fun fact: I see that train everyday just without migrants, I think they ride the train in other certain places. This is a pic a took of the real bestia:
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LOS HEROES TECAMAC JAJAJAJAJA lmao lmao I can't fucking believe it jasjdkaja the little shitty town close to mine LOVE IT
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Ciudad Valles jaskdja
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Ciudad Victoria.
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China??? wtf now that's just random places.
EDIT: Someone replied to his post and told me it’s a place in Nuevo León and yes it is, CHINA, Nuevo León Mx. close to Ciudad Victoria AND LAREDO. And this means I don’t know my country enough. Gracias @vickysan24​
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Is this supposed to be Guanajuato? when on earth they went to Guanajuato? I need to talk to Sonja Klaus asap
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Mackenzie saying "hola" is one of the best things that could've ever happened to me.
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ahhh the food jasjdja has a lemon in it, I don't know, could be sincronizadas? hahahsha I think it’s eggs and beans with pico de gallo.
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Mastering the skill of grabbing the tortilla like a spoon, nice. She has my seal of approval.
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cartel de Sinaloa... really?! I really don't know what to think about this one...come the fuck on.
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So that's how they cross huh, they keep putting walls but people always will find a way.
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La migra got them:(
I’m going to do a big skip here. The border patrol and the detention center are next and key in the story but I don’t really know how can I bring something new in this analysis, maybe I’ll try later.
Next: When they find Carl.
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For a looong time I really thought those beers were Corona and now it turns out they weren’t, sad day but oh well there are much better beers out there, so... *nail polish emoji*
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Is that... MOLE DE LA COSTEÑA???? JAJAJSJAJD Did you think I wasn’t going to see that?! That’s a great product placement.
And another picture of la Virgen de Guadalupe.
I'm far from being an expert but i'm not sure if we drink beer like that, with the lemon in the bottle.
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Another beer?  Yes, thank you.
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Even Grace is not sure if beer is drank in that way.
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But beer with lemon and salt is everything, I admit it.
Ok, fast forward, no mexican things until the very end;
"Mataste todo lo que quería cabron" jsadkhdjha what a delight! and it’s been translated to "you took everything I had, bastard" lmao yeah, right. Sounds better in spanish, obviously.
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Yes people, only a mexican can throw herself to a Terminator and fight with it with her own bare hands.
And to finish this deep analysis, I want to point the great originality (sarcasm on) they had with some character names: Diego Boneta is Diego, Alicia Borrachero aka Carl’s “wife” is called Alicia and at some point the Rev-9 is called Gabriel, like hmm ok, I remember Diego Boneta’s character was rumored to be named Miguel but yeah it was just a rumor. Ohhh and the lady selling tamales her real life name is yes, you guessed it: Mona.
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If you’re reading this, I want to thank you for getting this far, for taking your time and I hope this “little analysis” helped you to understand some things better about the movie that maybe you’ve missed in your viewings or to discover new things about Mexico. Did I miss something? Let me know what you think.
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