#on hope and hopelessness

[dropped-stitches]

The Death of Hope

I am wrung out by war and tragedy, the cruelty of capitalism and the transgressions that people are driven to commit. 

I am neither rich nor poor, I’ve worked (like the vast majority of us) in jobs where I knew I was a cog in a capitalist wheel. I live, work, love, think and create - I exist - in the safe confines of a small life untouched by war and want. I feel smaller as the world gets bigger, here in my snug average life.

I am tired. So very tired. What can I do to help the world? I meditate, I think, I strive to be a better friend, partner, writer, to be a better human in the small ways that we are told will be good for us and for the world. I educate myself, I witness, I speak (loudly in real life, softly in the vastness of the internet). I cry, I rail, I rage against those injustices I know of, in the past, present and the future. 

And through it all, I lose hope. 

I lose hope atom by atom. I feel tiny bits of my soul being burned off with every new atrocity I hear of, and with the awareness of all the atrocities I know must be going on that I don’t know of. How heavy we’ve made life and living. How impossible it feels to hold on to humanity when our individuality is subsumed by the overpowering presence of the group. 

My life is filled with small, significantly insignificant interactions with people. I’ve found most people, one-on-one, want to be good to each other. Or, at the very least, most people, one-on-one, do not want to be bad to each other. Most of us just want to get on with our small lives, maximise our small wins and minimise our small losses. 

But put us together in a group, bring our - entirely human - need for belonging to the foreground, and we end up losing our small, harmless humanity to become part of something greater, and uglier, than the sum of its parts. 

I truly believe we were not made for the digital age. We were not, most of us, made for the sheer volume of information we have access to. We were not made to live our lives with the billions of people on the internet just a thin piece of glass away, shouting at us through the windows of our devices. Our minds are not made for a 24-hour news cycle, for living our lives online, or for consuming the amount of ‘content’ we do. Our brains, poor human things still stuck in the evolutionary rung of some distant pastoral past, are too fragile to handle the noise, and crave peace in the form of moments of silence and moments of boredom.

I also truly believe in the power of stories, in the inherent value of art and in creation. I’m using my luck and privilege now to get back into education and hopefully tell stories, but my voice feels small and selfish. But the very act of creating and writing feels self-indulgent, and posting online feels like adding to the chaos and cacophony on the internet and the world. What does my small, quiet, safe life have to offer in a world gone mad, but more noise and less peace?

There was a thread on r/askhistorians about completed genocides, and that’s where I found out about the people of the Banda islands, a whole society completely eradicated within a couple of decades by the Dutch because they wanted a monopoly on nutmeg and mace. A monopoly! The Banda were happy to trade with them, the way they traded with everyone else, but the Dutch policy was to have a monopoly on whatever they wanted to trade in. This information is going to live rent-free in my head, this event that happened four hundred years ago, that I can do absolutely nothing about. I sit on my comfortable sofa, warm and safe, and draw parallels between cruelty in the past and the present, and anticipate the cruelties of the future. What fresh horrors are we going to unleash upon the world this year, and the decades and centuries following? 

I think of the bloody dots that connect our shared history of fighting for land, fighting to take, to colonise, to retake, recover, fighting for wealth that masquerades as righteousness. All the while, most of us, the average cog in the capitalist machine, are fed intellectual and militaristic opium in the form of the idea that a group of people, of ‘peoples’, bound by made-up concepts, deserve some part of the world. We’ve been taught that humanity has inherited the earth, as though we own the whole world, and don’t share it with millions of other species. 

I think of how Palestinians, who have lived and loved, created, procreated and died on that blood-soaked land for thousands of generations, are been exterminated in the name of someone’s ‘Holy Land’ because...why? Because of something in the Old Testament? Because the British could not stop fucking up every land they touched? Because we have not been taught, as a species, to stop, just for once to please just fucking stop wanting more and more and more of everything? 

How can I not lose hope when we’re all caught up in this ugly mess of capitalism, geopolitics, nationalism and fundamentalist religion that cares nothing for the children buried under rubble. 

#on being human #on hope and hopelessness #we are watching a genocide and still living our lives and sometimes i cannot wrap my head around it #palestinian genocide #ceasefire now you cowards

[elizabro]

please consider how you engage with aaron bushnell's death. you may react to it as you will, but it's crucial to remember that his death was specifically a call to action. it was not meant solely to shock but to draw attention to a vast moral hypocrisy: that to many, a soldier dying in a campaign backed by the U.S. government is noble, even if the soldier kills innocents to do so, even if the cause is morally bankrupt--but this? this is insanity. a man taking his own life, on his own terms, in an attempt to help others while hurting nobody else, is somehow less rational and more horrifying than the mass killing of civilians.

of course aaron's death was horrific. but as he said beforehand, it is realistically no more horrific than what's happening in gaza. if we can't stomach this, then why can we stomach children being bombed? thousands being starved? for all that self immolation is, it brings death in a matter of minutes. it is a fraction of the amount of pain, fear, and grief that people in gaza are experiencing. it's just that we are able to quantify it. and this tiny, quantifiable sliver of horror is still so unbelievably awful. how can anyone bear to think about anything else when this horror is happening a millionfold in palestine? this is the question aaron bushnell was asking. and he wanted you to face it, head-on, watching him burn to death.

I've been seeing people make fanart. minimalist graphics to sell on t-shirts. to commodify his death, to mythologize it not a day afterwards, is not only in poor taste but a hindrance to his message. the answer is not commodification, nor is it defeatism, nor is it rejoicing in his death. if you want to honor aaron's legacy, take action. channel your horror and your outrage into making a material change. this wasn't about him. this was about palestine. remember that it was always about palestine.

#aaron bushnell #I didn't want to make another post about this but #watching that video changed me irrevocably. #there have been many instances during this genocide that I've felt that way. and today is another one of those days. #I have been radicalized permanently by these events. #people speak to aaron's death as a result of hopelessness #but I see it as him having profound hope. he had hope that his death would change things. #and it is up to those still alive to ensure that happens. #free palestine

[jeeaark]

Let the latest patches add whatever new dialogue they write in, but Patch 0 gave me free range to ✨interpret✨ and this will forever be Greygold's canon, HA

For all intents, I did the hell heist as the last-last quest before the finale (So as to be fully prepared and supportive "finishing" babe's personal quest) AND BECAUSE OF THIS, I was tired. Greygold was tired. I was ready to beat the game. I was rushing. STEALING FROM RAPHAEL WAS STRESSING ME OUT. and I dared not go back. So even though Greygold did not want to go through with Haarlep's "game", I couldn't have picked a worse time to forget about their "always another way" philosophy Poor Half-orc was so determined not to fail Lae'zel's personal quest that, for once, ignored companion disapproval. And apparently, with Lae'zel not disapproving nakey Greygy, it looked like Babe was willing to retrieve that hammer no matter the cost either! Until Haarlep said they wanted nakey Greygy to play a "game" with them.

Babe disapproved that time. Babe, who's been cranky all this time, thought not even this way was worth getting the hammer for. Babe still cared about what happened to Greygold.

So by the gods, I happily reloaded and thankfully found a different way, HUAH. Thank you, Babe. Found out later that apparently going the Haarlep way would've suuuuucked. Saved by the babe. Thus I concluded why Babe was so cranky and can't kiss to save her life (I'm looking at you patch 6). And why Greygold's never had another hrm- pleasant conversation with Emps since the last time.

Poor sleep-deprived Lae'zel was bugged as hell killer coconut not because she was mad at Greyg, but because she'd been burning through all of her energy and affection by trying to protect Greygold from any further illithidry influence.

#bg3 spoilers #bg3 #baldur's gate 3 #lae'zel #haarlep #greygold #bg3 fanart #bg3 comic #may not be a silly but was quite a pinnacle perception change/interpretation I had for Lae'zel #IT JUST FELT REALLY REASSURING TO KNOW LAE'ZEL STILL CARED BY NOT WANTING GREYG TO MAKE DUMB DECISIONS AFTER ALL THE BUGGED BEHAVIOR #GREYG'S LOVE LIFE WASN'T A MESS AS I THOUGHT IT WAS HA (it still was but not like a -hopeless- mess) I HAD HOPE AGAIN #HOUSE OF PINA COLADA HOPE #obviously Lae'zel kept those exhaustion points at bay by sleeping in camp during the day when not adventuring with Greygold #who needs buggy patch 6 kisses when I can DRAW MY OWN huehhuehHAR #Me. I need my fancy patch 6 kisses. Gimme.

[akindplace]

it’s okay if getting better is taking longer than you hoped to. if getting better doesn’t mean getting cured. if somedays are better than others. if others seem to heal faster. if it’s exhausting. if your illness is chronic and progressive. it doesn’t mean people won’t love you as you are, it doesn’t mean you don’t deserve help, it doesn’t mean that you can’t ever be happy. you still deserve care, love and kindness when you’re suffering, and i hope you find it within yourself to feel compassion towards your own body, even if some people might not, even if it doesn’t work in the way you wished it would, even if it’s different.

#there is still hope even if things might seem hopeless so please take care of yourself #self-acceptance #self-worth #self-care #on hope #on being human #on being chronically ill #chronic illness #disability #original writing #self-compassion

[nancywheeeler]

hopeless time loop. the way out isn’t to save everyone. the way out isn’t to save even one person. the way out isn’t to change anything. the way out is accepting how it happened the first time is how it always will be. that’s how you acted, that’s how they acted, that’s how you would have acted every time if you weren’t given the curse of hindsight. the way out is accepting you can’t fix the past; you can only forgive yourself for it.

#there's this game i love called little hope that plays with these ideas (though not with a time loop) #i do love time loops narratives that explore how a person is confronted with their life and their choices #when forced to live the same day over and over again #and i LOVE time loops that try to reverse mistakes made and lives lost #but to see a character put themselves through loops upon loops upon loops #trying to rectify past mistakes (especially in the case where people died) only to be confronted with the reality it isn't working #and even in a loop where they save everyone the loop just resets #because the universe is essentially saying 'no that isn't how it happened and you know that's not how it happened' #it compels me! #i feel similarly about time travel where time 'fights back' #like this idea that there is a central timeline that time does not like being diverted from #so it will try to course correct itself #you save lincoln from an assassination only for him to die in a train crash #it's a cool way to confront the idea of fate #anyway all tragedies are hopeless time loops thank you for coming to my ted talk #a shout into the void #1k

[lupucs]

Grrr-friend 🦖

#doodle #comic #Deltarune #noelle holiday #susie deltarune #kris dreemurr #not 3d #2D #grrr-friend #fanart #my art #SUSelle #hey look a rare comic from a while ago hope yall enjoy this different art style and medium haha #noelle is a hopeless roar-mantic #this is so dumb lmao #i wanted to colorize this but it ended up looking lame so i left it as it is #feel free to do whatever with it 😊

[inklessletter]

I dreamed of your voice last night, and it sounded as lonely as I am. Are you trapped in there? Are you... are you real?

Thank you for trusting the process again <3

#stranger things #steddie #steddie art #fanart #art #digital art #steve harrington #eddie munson #no this is not part of any fic #this is me being a hopeless romantic again #and full in love with tragic stories #unless #you consider this a prompt #and write something absolutely cool about it #and if you do please tag me #thank you so much #i really hope you like it

[giantchasm]

Replayed Gates to Infinity recently. I really enjoy the fact that half of the characters in it are like malevolent nihilists.

#pokemon mystery dungeon #gates to infinity #pmd #to be clear i KNOW the game is about finding hope even in a world that seems hopeless and escaping that sense of nihilism via community #and i love it for that #but it doesn't make the way all the characters are like #'this world is full of rotten hopeless monsters' at the beginning of the game #any less funny #especially when put in contrast with how sweet most of the non-villain characters are in the other games

[rickybaby]

L: CH came up to you on the grid. What did he have to say before the race? D: He said he'd ordered me waffles, so he was just going to keep them warm for me 😁 No, he just wished me well and to keep my head down and not be discouraged. Obviously, I know how I feel but not everybody does. It’s a very different situation to McLaren. Especially 2022 I was running on very very little confidence. I was kinda confused with the car and didn't really understand it. I This isn’t that. We’re certainly not achieving what we thought we would be, but it’s not through being lost or losing confidence or anything [...] We're not gunna start letting the noise creep in. We're going to stay true to the course and it'll turn around.

#trust restored 🙏🏽 #i know daniel is the ultimate fake optimism girlie even when things are at the lowest of the lows #but yeah ... this doesn't feel the complete hopelessness of mclaren days #and i hope for his sake they get it right soon!! #daniel ricciardo #aus gp 2024

[floredaqueen]

Y'all can have this (I was supposed to give this to yall a LONG TIME AGO) because I'm gonna redraw it. I feel like I could do so much better--

#artists on tumblr #original art #stranger things #stranger things art #original character #stangerthingsoc #digital art #billy hargrove #billy hargrove imagine #billy stranger things #billy hargrove smut #billy hargrove fanfiction #billy hargrove fluff #billy hargrove x f!oc #oc x cc #oc x canon #cc x oc #hopeless romance art #hopelessly hopeful

[thyhauntedmansion]

“Why am I the only one who remembers?”

…

#this trend is my entire fyp #imagining these two meeting and comforting eachother on their shared circumstance and silent struggles🥲 #Bela: its hopeless.. there’s no point. #Cass: -and you call ME dramatic. #Cass trying to make her feel better despite how heartbroken seeing Bela so impassive makes her- considering HER Bela still has her heart #They could talk about how both their Dani’s are the same- until- #Cass: … you think she knows? Like another version of her? But she’s in our position? #Bela: god I hope not. #I’m sorry😭 #resident lover #resident lover spoilers #bela dimitrescu #cassandra dimitrescu

[probablyasocialecologist]

We struggle not because we think we will win, but because we cannot accept that which exists. Screaming against a system that dehumanises us needs no justification. It is simply an expression of what we understand to be our humanity. Our anti-capitalism is based on the horrors of the capitalist system, not in any confidence that we can create something else. Our struggles are not a means to an end, they are a dignity, a refusal, that arises from the depths of our being.

John Holloway, Hope in Hopeless Times

#Hope in Hopeless Times #hope

[hel7l7]

Some days I do feel hopeful.

But how do I hold on to that. I lose it all so quickly.

#vent art #venting #mixed media #hope #hopelessness #mental illness #vent

[anarchocasism]

the thing about disco elysium is i dont think any media has so well incapsulated “life is tragic poverty is oppressive we are all drifting towards the end of the world and desperately trying to ignore it people are desperate and complicated and there is so much awfulness” with “there is so much hope and love in the world and great beautiful things are possible. tragedy is a reason to fight for a better world and even a tragic life has beauitful wonderful moments” as disco elysium has. it drags you through dread and hope and emotionally throws you around in such a unique way.

#media has never made me feel like how de has made me feel #and it makes you feel it STRONGLY #its hopeless and hopeful and holds space for both #when most media tries to force you into one specific camp #disco elysium

[mishoru]

Don't you think I look pretty curled up on this bathroom floor?

#when I had the idea for this drawing it was about overcomig/living in spite of mental illness #mainly depression #However #while sketching I started to feel a weird nostalgia for all the nights I did spend on the bathroom floor utterly powerless #hopeless #This sinking pit of sadness in my stomach #that can't quite be described #that is always on the brink of consuming you #truly and fully #That drains the world of all it's color and drops you into a sea of uncertainty from which you can't quite escape #but that you also won't fully drown in #Endlessly suspended in a state of unbreathing but still alive #I haven't had a night like that in a while #If you do know that you are not alone and these nights too will pass. #I copied the text I wrote on instagram I hope that is okay #drawing perspective oof #illustration #art #self portrait #procreate #vent art #overcoming depression #the amazing devil lyrics #personal art

[starfall-isle]

games that are like. No matter how this ends for us no matter how futile it might be there is still love and since there is love that makes it worth it

#Auggh. Hope despite the hopelessness! Unwillingness to give up and even if it doesn’t save you in the end as long as there was love