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haggishlyhagging · 5 months

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Between 1984 and 1986, the number of liposuction operations rose 78 percent—but the procedure barely worked. Liposuction removed only one to two pounds of fat, had no mitigating effect on the unseemly "dimpling" effect of cellulite, and, in fact, often made it worse. The procedure also could produce permanent bagginess in the skin and edema, just two of the "variations from the ideal" that the plastic surgery society cataloged in its own report. Another "variation" on the list: "pain."

Furthermore, the plastic surgery society's survey of its members turned up several other unfortunate incidents. A liposuction patient lay down to have stomach fat removed and woke up with a perforated bowel and fecal matter leaking through the abdominal cavity. Three patients developed pulmonary infections and two had massive infections. Three suffered pulmonary fat embolism syndrome, a life-threatening condition in which fat can lodge in the heart, lungs, and eyes. And "numerous patients" required, as the survey delicately put it, "unplanned transfusions." On March 30, 1987, Patsy Howell died of massive infections three days after a liposuction operation performed by Dr. Hugo Ramirez, a gynecologist who ran a plastic surgery clinic in Pasadena, Texas. The same day Howell had her operation, Ramirez performed liposuction on Patricia Rogers; she also developed massive infections, was hospitalized in critical condition, and eventually had to have all her skin from below her chest to the top of her thighs removed.

Howell, a thirty-nine-year-old floral shop manager and the mother of two sons, submitted to liposuction to remove a small paunch on her five-foot-one frame. She weighed only 120 pounds. “This literature she got at a shopping mall said the procedure was so simple,” her friend Rheba Downey told a reporter. “She said, ‘Why not?’” She made up her mind after reading Ramirez's newspaper ad, calling the surgery "the revolutionary technique for reduction of fat without dieting." No one told her about the dangers. Ramirez operated on more than two hundred women, causing numerous injuries and two deaths before his license was finally revoked.

By 1987, only five years after the fat-scraping technique was introduced in the United States, the plastic surgery society had counted eleven deaths from liposuction. A 1988 congressional subcommittee placed the death toll at twenty. And the figure is probably higher, because patients' families are often reluctant to report that the cause of death is this "vanity" procedure. A woman in San Francisco, for example, who was not on the surgery society's or Congress's list, died in 1989 from an infection caused by liposuction to her stomach; the infection spread to her brain, her lungs collapsed, and she finally had a massive stroke. But her family was too ashamed about the procedure to bring it to public attention.

The society's 1987 report on liposuction, however, seemed less concerned with safety than with "the reputation of suction lipectomy," which its authors feared had been "marred by avoidable deaths and preventable complications." It concluded that all problems with liposuction could be easily solved with "guidelines governing who is permitted to perform and advertise surgical procedures." In other words, just get rid of the gynecologists and dermatologists and leave the surgery to them.

Yet some of the liposuction patients had died at the hands of plastic surgeons. And the most common cause of death was the release of fat emboli into the heart, lungs, and brain—a risk whenever inner layers of epidermis are scraped, no matter how proficient the scraper. As even the report acknowledged: "[Liposuction] is by its nature a tissue-crush phenomenon. Therefore, fat embolism is a realistic possibility."

Surgeons also marketed the injection of liquid silicone straight into the face. Vogue described it this way: "Plastic surgery used to be a dramatic process, but new techniques now allow doctors to make smaller, sculptural facial changes." This "new" technique was actually an old practice that had been used by doctors in the last backlash era to expand breasts—and abandoned as too dangerous. It was no better the second time around; thousands of women who tried it developed severe facial pain, numbing, ulcerations, and hideous deformities. One Los Angeles plastic surgeon, Dr. Jack Startz, devastated the faces of hundreds of the two thousand women he injected with liquid silicone. He later committed suicide.

For the most part, these doctors were not operating on women who might actually benefit from plastic surgery. In fact, the number of reconstructive operations to aid burn victims and breast cancer patients declined in the late '80s. For many plastic surgeons, helping to boost women's self-esteem wasn't the main appeal of their profession. Despite the ads, the doctors were less interested in improving their patients' sense of "control" than they were in improving their own control over their patients. "To me," said plastic surgeon Kurt Wagner, who operated on his wife's physique nine times, "surgery is like being in the arena where decisions are made and no one can tell me what to do." Women under anesthesia don't talk back.

-Susan Faludi, Backlash: the Undeclared War Against American Women

#susan faludi #liposuction #plastic surgery #womb envy #beauty standards #male entitlement

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ch1-kasako · 22 days

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NO PLEASE I LOVE READING CUPHEAD HCS PLEASE PLEASE I HAVE SOME BRO SHARING IS CARING NEOW BROO PLEASEEEE😭

OH GOD I'M SCARED OKAT I'LL JUST LIST OFF THE ONES AT HBE TOP OF MY HEAD

•his conscience is based kinda like a boat tower thing where there's this big ass building that has a light that changes colour based on his emotions and when he goes into a black out it shines red really bright and there's like black and yellow accents

•most of the beings in his conscience/conscious idk are different vers of him and there's one of him that's a whole ass wendigo

•really likes cats, cats r his fave animal omg

• will wood, MSI and maybe mitski coded idk

•cuddle bug, if he falls asleep in yo arms you r NOT moving🙏

•lowkey bi, screw the wiki he's def kissed some men

•can cook, but can only cook what kettle has taught him, couldn't make a simple fried egg but could cook a while 5* steak and mash no problem and could make the best cakes ever (credits to baroness von bon bon she def taught him💪)

•has probably been fed human before by blackhat and flug

•used to be besties w dementia

•mamas boy🙏

•is the one out of him and mugs that can actually save money somehow even though he's the one who has a gambling addiction

•remember the fight w him and bendy where bends bit his arm? Yeah, that arm is completely numb, occasionally nibbles on it like a stress toy

•would cry if someone gave him a cat on his birthday, especially if it was old asf or disabled in some way, would care for it like his own child

•no idea what happened between him and meg but would also cry if he had to face her again (she would humiliate his ass like the queen she is🎀)

•has had the most questionable convos w Jeremy Fairfax ever

•lowkey would be a small spoon when he's sad

•has really nice nails and actually natural eyeliner, like he looks like he's wearing eyeliner but he isn't he just built that way

•man boobs, had a breast reduction during his heart surgery non-consentually😭

•walks like a model (natural catwalk or whatever but not as dramatic)

•i honestly feel like demitasse wouldn't accept him as her son because of his demon blood :(

•one of his eyes has a yellow spot near his pupil and the other has a pink spot near the edge of his iris (I'm not sure if it's heterochromia or central heterochromia)

•cried so hard he had a panic attack when he woke up after nearly dying during the experiment when he was like 13 and mugs was scared for him :((((

•his pupils expand like a cat when he sees someone he loves or when he eats sugary stuff (cat coded💪💪)

•his nails r claw like, meow ig

•goes limp when ppl touch his hair, like that shit hits different he will melt that's why he hates it when ppl touch his hair

•knows like one dance meg taught him, and just so happens he only knows the woman's role so it's basically useless to him

•Quadratus once told him to look at the stars to guide him (when he had just lost to the devil and was about to leave inkwell isles) and if the stars failed him to turn to the oceans waters and call to quadratus for help (I like to think quadratus can just spawn in any water source but only if u use a certain rune that cup knows)

•lowkey really likes learning about cannibalism and crazy shit like that

•along with wood lillies, some of his fave flowers r black dahlias, roses, lily of the valley, spider lilies, and others🙏🙏

Let me know is there is anymore type of headacmons u wanna know about I have angst, NSFW and probably a lot more idk🙏🙏 holy shit I need to learn how to spell and type slowly😭

#bendy and boris in the inky mystery #quest cuphead #inky mystery #babtqftim

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jesterpunk · 2 months

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yo a they/it agender ex-tittitian? im kinda in the same boat (also they/it agender), as in, dont exactly know how to feel about my physical appearance (i dont mind it, but i still wonder). Makes me curious, dya regret the surgery? or is it more like a general grievance? akin to a loss

hell yeah !! def don't regret the surgery but definitely still feel a loss or grievance. I'm gonna reuse a half on an answer I sent someone else privately:

I miss having them. I see non-binary transition and being agender to be a messy and imperfect process. there's no guidebook for us for how to look, we are just given the checklists our trans men and women counterparts tend to be given (facial hair? breasts? low voice? softer skin?) and we pick and choose which aspects we like and dislike.. a binary choice for each option.

you and I don't have a binary way to answer, "do you want breasts?" somedays it's yes. somedays it's no. I decided to go with No by default but yes when I wanna put on my breast forms, as opposed to the other way around. you don't have to do the same as me. I don't regret it at all, but I do miss my tits and I am still grieving them. it's a lot to lose a part of you but it's also euphoric being able to present in a way I was never able to before .

and specifically about being agender and how that affected my decision:

two things I was sure of for myself regarding my chest: I didn't want a reduction (I liked being stacked and since my booty isn't that thick I liked the disproportion) and if I got the surgery I did not wanna keep my nipples (I didn't want a """"male"""" chest, I wanted a freak chest) and as U know, I went with the latter. I am agender, and I really love showing as much as possible that I'm not a man or woman, so even if my scars eventually fade, the flat nippleless chest is such a blatantly genderless move, that I'm really happy about choosing.

my biggest take away as an agender person is that there's no right decision. There doesn't need to be a decision and it doesn't need to be right or logical, so I went for it knowing my body isn't what makes my gender to begin with or end with. at the end of the day, idk how I feel about my body either, but I thought I looked hot in a crop top when I had DDs and I still think I look hot in a crop top with a smooth flat chest, so in that sense, you win some, you win some 😎

(same shirt before & after)

#gender ask #watermelon-swag

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freckliedan · 5 months

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real talk then-if gender is made up than aren't we all on some level both conforming and defying gender?

i mean, yes and no? man i'm going to get lengthy with this one again. WAIT SIKE. (not fully sike, but imagine this easily twice as long and now you know why i said sike). i was four paragraphs in and remembered the 'no such thing as fish' gender post which expresses those 4 paragraphs way more concisely than I can.

we all know what a fish is even though there's no single universally applicable definition of fish. the same is true of gender. because it is impossible to define with any type of specifics, it is impossible to get a 100% in conforming to gender.

so like. there's a window of tolerence. because man and woman are such broad categories, successful & more complete conformity to a binary gender doesn't mean getting it right all the time. it means displaying nonconformity rarely enough that it's understood as an exception to your usual behavior, sometimes even an exception that further reinforces your status as correctly gender compliant.

so, the closest it gets to a yes is the fact that yes, most people perform gender in ways that are both conforming to and out of alignment with the way that their gender is defined by the collective.

but even in that scenario i have to say most people, because intersex people exist! and different intersex conditions result in development of different primary and secondary sex traits so there's no universal intersex experience but like. some of us never had the option of fitting into either binary/sex gender category to start with.

& the other reason that's a "most people" is because there are plenty of nonbinary people whose gender expression categorically removes us from passing effectively as either gender.

there's no gender FOR me to conform to. if i tried performing womanhood like my sister or manhood like my cousins both options would come across as draglike. i'm not the only person living life like this, either—that's what makes an all statement like yours inaccurate/impossible.

& the other reason for my no in my original yes and no? that's largely something that comes down to semantics for me. not everyone intentionally defies gender, though everyone does definitely fail to conform to gender at times.

wearing makeup is a common form of gender conformity for women. in this example, not wearing makeup is unintentional nonconformity, whether it's because you can't afford it, or were running late and didn't have time, or because you're disabled and lack the motor control to apply it, etc etc. for a woman to choose not to ever wear makeup because of a refusal to opt in is gender defiance.

defiance isn't passive, it's active.

(of makeup: i said common form of gender conformity, because there's definitely contexts in which excess displays of femininity are not rewarded. i'm not expressing this well as it's the middle of the night but @drdemonprince has an excellent article i reccomend reading & is someone whose work i reccomend in general).

the umbrella of gender nonconformity covers both unintentional nonconformity and active defiance, when it's used in discussions. it's a useful umbrella, because it's important to be able to discuss the way gender nonconformity is responded to by those who uphold cishetero patriarchal ideals of gender. because they're not going to ask whether or not it comes from a place of defiance before treating people differently for our gender failures.

(i've used the phrase gender failure multiple times tonight. i can pinpoint the exact reason i use that phrase! the book gender failure by ivan coyote & rae spoon, which i read last year after top surgery. i consider myself someone who has failed at gender, and that's something i think of myself with love and pride).

so: a little bit yes, but mostly no. to say yes feels reductive, but to resoundingly say no to your ask is unfair, considering how long it took me to explain my thoughts in detail, & how much of that no is tied up in semantic disagreement.

#jam replies #anon #my autism also factors in to my inability to succesfully conform to any gender. i'm just already talking for such a long time #it's something i'd love to elaborate on though #gender #jam posts

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sawyerquinnbrown · 8 months

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Adventures in Boob Removal

Check out my new blog post on Wordpress!

Where to start? Probably in April 2022, when I met with the first surgeon who was supposed to perform my top surgery.

This surgeon, who we will call Dr. Rude, began by explaining that my chest “wouldn’t look like a man’s chest” post-surgery, to which my non-binary ass replied,

“Good thing I’m not a man, then.”

Dr. Rude did not get the joke. He went on to complain about my having had a breast reduction surgery in the past, claiming I was “making [his] job more difficult.” I refrained from sarcastically apologizing,

“Sorry my understanding of my gender dysphoria didn’t happen sooner, good buddy.”

Anyway, it’s a good thing that first attempt at top surgery didn’t work out before my move to Chicago, because I wasn’t sure I could trust Dr. Rude, who had apparently never met a non-binary person before.

Once I moved to Chicago, however, it became clear that if I got my surgery there I would be waiting years for an appointment. The soonest they had for a consultation appointment was a year out. “Don’t bring your paperwork,” they told me, so to hell with that.

Instead I settled on flying to Boston for my surgery, since 1) I wouldn’t be waiting a year, 2) some of the best surgeons are in Boston, and 3) I have family and friends there with whom I could stay for my recovery.

My discussions with the receptionist at the new surgeon’s office (we’ll call him Dr. Did-My-Breast-Reduction-Six-Years-Ago Second Try) involved crossed wires, however.

“How long have you legally been a man?” they asked.

Puzzled, I replied, “No time. I’m non-binary.” This stumped the receptionist for a moment. “There’s an ‘X’ on my state ID?” I offered.

“Okay. And how long have you been on hormones?”

“I’m not on hormones.”

Once again this threw the receptionist for a loop, but we did manage to schedule a pre-surgical exam, so go us.

At the pre-surgical exam I met with the surgeon’s assistant, who spent about fifteen minutes flapping her hands over my boobs while she told me about the surgery. Fondling complete, she told me to wait in the lobby to schedule my surgery, and she’d see if Dr. Second Try was available to speak with me. So I waited in the lobby, where I was told my surgery couldn’t be scheduled until they submitted to my insurance anyway, at which point Dr. Second Try appeared, fully scrubbed- and masked-up, and announced to the room,

“So no nipples?”

“No nipples,” I confirmed with a thumbs up, glad that the entire waiting room now knew this.

Off I toddled back to Chicago to wait for my surgery date. The first time my info had been submitted to insurance, with Dr. Rude, it had taken about two weeks to hear back, so I was surprised that I hadn’t heard in three weeks. I finally got a call saying they’d never received my letter of approval from my psychiatrist.*

*This is a fun thing about being trans. It’s not enough to say to a doctor that you have gender dysphoria. First you have to go to a mental health professional to say you have gender dysphoria, then that mental health professional writes down that you have gender dysphoria and informs the doctor that hey, this person has gender dysphoria. Very efficient system, makes perfect sense.

“What do you mean you never got my letter? It’s the first thing I handed over at my exam.”

“We never got it.”

“It was in an orange folder.” They told me to hold.

Three minutes later: “We found the orange folder!”

“Why did it take three weeks to determine that you didn’t have my letter?” I asked politely, masking my understandable annoyance.

The scheduler said, snippy, “We have other things to do.”

Well excuse the shit out of me.

I’d go into more detail about the rest of the process, but everything went pretty smoothly for scheduling after that, as well as the surgery itself and the recovery (which was very itchy. No one warned me). The only moment of note was when I went to get my drains taken out (if you don’t know about drains, consider yourself very lucky).

The nurse who was assisting Dr. Second Try started to speak. “She–I mean, he–“

“They,” I corrected gently but wearily.

“They need more bandages,” she finished. Bless her, she was trying.*

*I find it a little odd that so many of the staff struggled with my pronouns and gender identity. This surgeon had done top surgeries many times before.

Anyhow, that was my top surgery adventure, and I’m finally able to lift my hands all the way over my head again. Yay! Though I do have something I call "phantom boob syndrome"--similar to phantom limb syndrome except that it means sometimes my chest will be itchy but no matter how much I scratch the itch won't go away because the itch is on my no-longer-existent boob. #suffering

#writing #humor #personal #funny

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erigold13261 · 7 months

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Any opinions on she/her, it/its user Eve?

Your ask immediately made me think of this shirt for some reason. I have no idea if I made it up or saw it at some point, but I can see Eve relaxing in it lol.

Anyway! My opinions! (there is a lot more than I thought lol)

I personally like Eve using just she/her pronouns (and for now I will use she/her until I get to the it/its pronouns) but she has a very complicated relationship with her gender (which also encapsulates her sexuality).

Like I even want to start drawing her with top surgery scars thinking she either got a breast reduction or fully got rid of her breasts. Maybe she took some testosterone at some point but also leaned very far into the feminine aesthetic.

Sometimes wears butch or masc clothing, or makes her hair very short. Her entire display is just supposed to be experimental and all over the gender spectrum but also leaning a lot into the feminine even when playing around in the masc area.

And because she plays with her gender and expression in this way, she also always wants to exclusively use she/her. Those are what works but can also confused others when she is going into a more masc appearance. Even when she got her top surgery she had to be adamant to the people around her to keep using only she/her, not he/him or they/them which some people tried doing.

That is what I personally prefer for Eve.

However! I guess it/its pronouns could make Eve feel differently! (and now I will start using she/it for Eve).

All of what I said above would probably still be true, except that over time Eve might lean more into using it/its pronouns. It would be like reclaiming a part of itself that it never knew it lost.

I'm sure there were some people in Eve's life that made it feel less than human, even her own thoughts probably did that. Made her feel like an object (which is why it will sometimes present as a literal object like the chair) and so over time it just... ran with the idea of being an object but one with life.

At least that is what Eve would eventually come to think of herself. After the revolution, getting closure from Zuke, growing more into itself, all of that would need to happen before it would be able to see itself as an object with life instead of an object with purpose.

Let me try to explain what I mean by that.

Eve would see itself as a combination of a woman and natural phenomenon or object that needs a use to be important. Disguising herself as a chair, or comparing herself to tectonic plates, both of those instances were Eve is trying to reclaim what it means to be an object, but they were objects with purposes, easily forgotten about until they are needed or make some kind of dramatic act.

"A chair without a sitter is left with no purpose to exist." Without the direct purpose of a sitter (or another person) then a chair has no reason to exist (Eve has no reason to exist). This mindset shows Eve's co-dependency, but also shows how it sees itself. How it is an object, but it's usefulness and reason to live is defined by what others need of it or of how others see it.

Eve realizes she is a tool, that the only way that it has a reason to live is if it is helping others, or fulfilling other people's needs. She is not fulfilling her own needs, her own idea of who she is. No, instead Eve is acting as an object for others to use, which is why it started going by it/its pronouns.

"Remember when I was the tectonic plates and you were the sea?" This line is another reason why Eve would have started using it/its pronouns. In this aspect, it is still an object, but one that most people forget about until it does something dramatic like causing a tsunami with the sea or earthquakes on land.

Unless you are actively looking at tectonic plates, learning about them, then you really wouldn't care about them until they affect your life. That is how Eve feels. Unseen and forgotten about until it is seen as important.

Being a megastar is kinda like being a constant earthquake, where people can see her all the time and have her on their minds, but over time they get used to this life and what Eve is offering which makes Eve chase a new dramatic flare, a new music style, a new purpose in life to be seen by anyone around her.

When it can find a researcher who cares deeply about the beauty and importance of tectonic plates and is willing to learn more about them to understand them (so someone like Zuke who took time to learn more about Eve and understand it), then she feels seen and loved. Loved as the object that it perceives itself as, that it thinks everyone had forgotten about except for one person. It can start loving itself because of that one person who loves it (and when that person goes away, that love goes away too).

However, ones the revolution takes place and Eve gets closure from Zuke and starts to work on itself, I can see it questioning why it started using it/its pronouns in the first place. Even if it was always just personal use that only a select few people knew about (Zuke and Tatiana definitely knew) and not public knowledge, Eve would still start to question why she started using those pronouns and wonders what it is about that specific set that called out to her.

I can see Eve figuring out all this from above, or at least the general gist of it through therapy and self reflection. Maybe this would make it upset that it was using these pronouns in this way. Feeling cheap or fake for using them (even if it was only known by like 2 other people). There would always be this questioning that Eve has if she truly wants to go by she/it pronouns, and if its reasoning is good enough justification to continue to use them.

Honestly, I love the idea that Eve always kept this mainly to herself. This questioning aspect. I'm sure Zuke and Tatiana would have still used she/it for Eve only when talking with Eve (never outing her since she never said she was okay with that). Mayday and Haym definitely do not know about this. I can see Purl maybe figuring something out about this, or knowing of the it/its pronouns from one of their late nights together, but they never used those for Eve as she never explicitly asked for that to happen.

All that comes to a head when Rin starts going by it/its pronouns. Rin's whole reasoning for going exclusively by it/its at first was to piss off haters and to have fun with its gender. There was never a big deal about it, and soon those pronouns just truly grew onto Rin and stuck.

This was something entirely different to how Eve saw itself using those pronouns. But it also didn't like that justification really at all. Just doing something to piss people off felt too similar to what she was doing before, having pronouns based on how people would or have reacted to a part of the person.

Eve wanted something more internal. Not related to other people, something she could see in herself with these pronouns.

And honestly, if you want to keep this related to the NSpidR AU (or even my Eriverse in general), Hobie and Lizze Natividad would be the perfect people to have Eve realize it is an object with life and not an object with purpose kind of it/its user.

Hobie is in the same boat as Rin, using they/it pronouns to piss people off but to also break free from gender constructs and confinement. It is about being rebellious and messing with people, but also having freedom and power over your own identity.

Similar to Eve, Hobie's gender performance is like literally a performance. Although Hobie performs for themself while Eve performs for other people. That is a thing that Eve will have to learn to change over time.

Lizzie at this point in life is probably still a Psychonaut, same with Raz, and since Eve knew Raz and they reconnected together after the revolution, I can see Eve getting to know Lizzie a bit.

Lizzie going by It/They pronouns with he/him sprinkled in (very rarely she/her) is something that Eve would take interest in. Especially for the reasoning as to why Lizzie would add it/its to they/he/she pronouns.

That is when I can see Lizzie using an example I love, where it tells Eve that using "it" isn't always derogatory and has a lot of built in love and admiration into the pronoun. It's just hard to see if you aren't looking for it.

When someone talks about the sunset or moon saying 'It's beautiful" or that people will talk about a stuffed animal or childhood home they loved and use "it" as a default shows that even though those things are being described by it/its pronouns, the love is still there.

Those things are more than just objects, they are moments of love, cherished memories. Not all of them are that. Sometimes they are just a part of time that happened, but it helped shaped who you are even if you don't realize it. They have no real purpose but to make life full of... well, life.

Lizzie would tell Eve about how the smalls things can seem big, and the big things seem small. They shift and change, sometimes they don't have any purpose to life, but you can just make up a purpose for them to be important. It doesn't matter, as long as it is something that makes you happy, confident, safe, anything positive really.

All of this, seeing so many different reasons as to why some people would use it/its pronouns or a combination set, would allow Eve to figure out her own reason for using them.

I'm not sure exactly what its reasons would be. Probably reclaiming its own identity again but this time in a positive way that is built on introspection and not built on other people's potential view of it.

There is definitely something a lot more complex going on underneath everything. Stuff that Eve might never be able to truly get into words, so it would be hard for me to put it into words (which is how I get when I have to explain my own use of it/its pronouns sometimes), but no matter what, Eve is using these pronouns because they make it happy and more comfortable with itself.

I can even see Eve coming out to the public as using she/it pronouns. Maybe it would be another performance, but a performance that Eve would want to see herself, and not one made specifically for other people. This performance wouldn't be trying to get people onto its level, or trying to get down to people's level, it's not one to make them understand, but one for people to see it as it is.

Otherwise, I see Eve at least letting its friends, family, and loved ones using she/it for her like how Zuke and Tatiana were using them. It would at least no longer be a hidden aspect of her personality when it comes to the people it cares about, and once it sees the acceptance it got (especially from Mayday and Haym), it would feel even more comfortable and confident in its choice to come out fully.

Because I'll be honest, it's one thing to dress in a way different from your gender than it is to be referred to as different from your gender. At least for me it is. I primarily present femininely, but I like trying to go by any pronouns, especially they/it pronouns.

I can see Eve being the opposite, where she does not feel any dysphoria or apprehension when it comes to its visual expression, but there is always a slightly weird feeling when verbally being called something you don't think you truly are. Even if you do think you are truly they/them, it/its, she/her, anything, hearing it is different from seeing it, which is different from visually showing it, to just acting in a different manner.

All of this is complex stuff that Eve has definitely had to go through. Some things easier than others (like her visual self), and it still has lots to work on, but at least it is on the right track for progress.

Anyway, thanks for making me think of this! I love that I was blatantly for she/her exclusive Eve at first, but now I think I changed my own mind lol. I might start referring to Eve with she/it pronouns. Love it when I can make propaganda for my own mind hehe (it always happens too! Because I try to make someone else's view of a character valid, even if it isn't my own cup of tea, and then I just love what I came up with and just start using it too lol :3)

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butch-reidentified · 7 months

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i know it’s none of my business, but if you mind sharing, why did you get top surgery? i haven’t heard of any woman who has gotten it for reasons further than being transgender (or medical ones)

I dont mind; it's just a bit complex and hard to communicate. I've found that whenever I try to on here, people end up misinterpreting a lot of it. I'm willing to try tho, esp since I've previously talked about it only in specific contexts and not just discussed all the reasons.

I had a few reasons, and part of it was medical (primarily bc of constant painful cysts), and I did have what I think may be a version of "sex dysphoria" (tho I'm not 100% bc other ppl describe sex dysphoria so differently & I didn't have body image issues or care how I looked to others or in the mirror) where my breasts felt (felt as in a literal physical sensation) like a prosthesis that I was wearing all the time. I had genuinely gorgeous, ideal-by-societal-standards breasts, and I actually quite liked them aesthetically. but they got in the way a lot and caused all the usual issues that large breasts do, so I was gonna get a reduction regardless. I was kinda like, why not go all the way and then I won't have to deal with cysts or that odd sensation I mentioned? I think it kind of comes down to that + the fact I knew I'd enjoy being a butch woman with a flat chest.

but then I also kind of got this sense of amusement from the idea of removing from existence a pair of breasts that sooo many people who saw them called flawless, just because they were "too perfect for this world to have." that's now the reason I give men who ask me about it, bc the reactions are honestly priceless.

I did a whole ton of research, including a lot of exploring stories of women who regretted doing this for the pupose of checking my motivations for pursuing it, my external and internal contexts around it, and my thought process and actual process I had designed for myself to complete before "clearing" myself to go forward with it - the idea being if any of those were a match with anything I read in a regret testimony, I would not move forward. I did therapy as well, specifically not affirming and with the woman who was my therapist after surviving the Pulse shooting in 2016, who I trust and respect deeply and who is not particularly on board with trans stuff or the new brand of "feminism." And I waited over 4 years from when I first thought about it to do all the above, and so it wouldn't be at all impulsive as I'd had a lot of time to dig deep, analyze, try other options, and really think hard about it/how I'd feel. And so I'd be old enough that my prefrontal cortex was more or less done cooking 😅

I'm not really sure either way if I would do it now if I still had them, but that's only bc I'm informed about the cosmetic surgery industry now in ways I wasn't then, and as a result, I'm opposed to giving that industry my money. But it would still be a tough call if I'm honest. I really like the way my chest is now. I'm quite happy with it and find it much more convenient in several ways, so I couldn't honestly say I have any regrets about it.

I truly had zero desire to be viewed as a man or "nonbinary" and went a bit overboard making sure people knew that for a while after my surgery. My misandry runs too deep to ever not love being a woman, no matter what the world is like, if I'm honest. I am so madly in love with womanhood and sisterhood and being a lesbian and female solidarity and devoting my life, body and "soul," to women's liberation. It's my cardinal raison d'être. And I do think there's some good can be done by an extremely gnc woman with no breasts who's loud and proud about being a woman.

#mine #ask #sex dysphoria #NGAMT

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apricotbuncakes · 4 days

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I Need Top Surgery ASAP

My dysphoria is off the charts. I've been doing literally anything I can to reduce the dysphoria around my chest but it is way too costly for me to buy trans tape that doesn't work well for me and chest binders that stretch out even with proper washing. Binding regularly makes it near impossible to breath and with my job as a lifeguard it's really unsafe to bind because of how hot the pool room is and the physical demand of the job. I end up having to bind anyway though because daily dysphoria is more crippling than milder dysphoria and some breathing troubles.

I've wanted top surgery since I was 14. For years I've had dreams of getting top surgery and crying when I wake up because it wasn't real. Now at 20 the possibility is finally here to make my dreams come true, for me to resolve my chest dysphoria and back pain, to make me feel more comfortable as myself. I've needed top surgery for YEARS but am just now reasonably able to get it.

If you donate ANY amount of money (a few cents, a dollar, five, ten, twenty, whatever!!) to this gofundme you will get your name personally written on a trans flag that I will share online! Anonymous donors will have their own section of the flag so you can still get recognition without your name being displayed publicly! So far the GoFundMe has raised $255! Through my own savings, the total money saved is a bit past $310.

Can't donate? Reblog, repost this GoFundMe to other platforms. Share with friends who may be able to financially contribute. Just share it around (and be sure to link the GoFundMe too!!).

More Info:

I realize some people are hesitant to just donate money to those they don't know so my ask box is open for any questions you might have about the GoFundMe, but I'll go over the broad strokes here too!

"Do you have someone willing to perform the surgery on you?"

I already have a surgeon willing to perform top surgery on me AND a therapist willing to write a letter to said surgeon to also verify that this surgery is appropriate for me!

"Why is it so expensive?"

The surgeon I chose has told me the price for the surgery itself is $8,500 BUT! My goal is $10,000 because of other costs associated with the surgery! Things like aftercare supplies (things to help with scarring, comfort items, etc), bills (car, phone, pet supplies, student loans) that I won't be able to earn the money for during recovery, and after surgery visits. There are other smaller expenses to take into account as well that I haven't listed. All of those things cost A LOT. I likely won't be able to work for a few months after surgery due to not only recovery time but also my line of work, which is why I'm including them in the surgery cost. All of these things have to be taken into account for the pricing, hence why my goal is $10,000.

"Why can't you just go through your insurance?"

The fuckers gave me an out of date list of surgeons in my area, most of which don't specialize in top surgery or related procedures, and SEVERAL of the surgeons on there are actually deceased. They have been of no further help on this. Of the surgeons eligible on the list, ONE responded (and he was an absolute dick who told me I had to lose weight before he would even consider performing it on me). They also have a load of requirements like being a whole year on HRT (I'm only 7 months at the end of April 2024), having a certain BMI (a bullshit requirement for ANYTHING), and a handful of other factors that I wouldn't be able to meet reasonably soon Truly, out of pocket is the safest and best option for me.

"Why can't you just get a breast reduction?"

What's the point of a reduction if I'm going to bind what's left anyway? I don't want my breasts. They distress me and make me dysphoric. Top Surgery is the best option for me.

"What happens if you don't need all the money you raised?"

In the unlikely event that I don't need all the money I'm asking for, I will likely use it for other important things in my life or donate the money to someone else who needs top surgery. I'll likely donate through GoFundMe, but I'll look around locally too in case there's someone who needs money in my community.

My ask box is open if you have any other questions not addressed here.

#transboy #trans boy #trans visibility #trans #transgender #trans guy #transmasc #ftm nonbinary #ftm #trans ftnb #trans ftm #top surgery gofundme #medical gofundme #trans gofundme #gofundme #hrt testosterone #trans hrt #ftm hrt #hormones

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help-help-i-need-an-adult · 1 year

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If anyone tries to hold up the defense of the anti-trans laws because they don’t want kids getting gender reassignment surgery, feel free to tell them my story.

I’m AFAB. I have huge knockers. They hurt as a result. (Duh.)

So I finally decided to do something about it. A reduction. I’d love a respectable A cup as apposed to the double F’s I’m currently toting around.

So I went to the doctor, discussed it with them, and my network had 3 requirements for a breast reduction.

Non smoker

8 weeks of physical therapy to prove more conservative means won’t reduce the pain

BMI of 35

I’m not a smoker. Check.

I just completed 8 weeks of physical therapy and it’s costing me about $1,200 ish after insurance covers their bit. Check.

I had a BMI of 37 when I started this venture in January and as of 3 weeks ago, had a BMI of 35.4, just squeaking by. Check.

The surgeons office called me and asked me if I had met these requirements and what my bra size was. I hit all of their requirements.

Then I didn’t hear back for 2 weeks. So I called my doctor today to see what’s up.

The surgeon denied me because I happen to be gender fluid.

Because I’m on the trans spectrum (regardless of the fact that that’s not the reason for me wanting the surgery and I’d still have a breast size normal for my assigned gender) she has more requirements she demands I meet before she will even see me for a consultation.

I now have to also see psychological professionals for evaluation and get notes from them that meet standards she wouldn’t even spell out in her denial message before she’ll even see me FOR A CONSULTATION.

Because my chart mentioned that I’m gender fluid.

She didn’t even call me to tell me this. Didn’t send me a letter. Didn’t bother to bring me in and explain her concerns. She just told my primary doctor who fought her about it. Because my primary doctor did explain that I want this for back and neck pain. Reduction. Not top surgery.

So now I have to go out of network to try and find a surgeon. Or I have to jump through hoops.

I’m 29 years old. I’ve thought this through. But they don’t care. I can’t get MEDICAL TREATMENT because I happen to be on the trans spectrum.

Kids aren’t getting sex reassignment surgery. If they are, please give me specifics because I want to see their doctor. But I doubt anyone can give me doctor info because it’s not happening. Not for children and not for consenting adults either.

Fuck off with that argument.

#transgender #gender affirming care #breast reduction #surgery #discrimination #genderfluid

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pins-and-needles-and-gears · 1 year

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Fuck it.

Genderfluid Natalie.

Headcanons below:

Natalie... didn't realise he was genderfluid until he was a bit older. He just always thought that people felt this way.

So, one day, after accidentally getting called "sir" while going out by himself, she realised...

...she didn’t hate it.

Anyway, Nat had a really big think about things.

And a lot of research, late calls with Doby and Toby, and a few pints of Ben and Jerry's later, she realised...

...he was genderfluid.

The first person he properly told was Leo. After all, she did want him to know. And he is straight (to her knowledge (he's actually demi)).

It resulted in a very big emotional speech, which ended with "and if you feel the need to leave me, I completely understand."

Leo - after a bit of thinking, and learning about what genderfluidity means - simply asked "So, it's a 2-for-1 deal?"

"...it's a 2-for-1 deal..."

"Rad."

So, now Leo has a boyfriend/girlfriend.

Anyway - when Natalie properly comes out, he cuts his hair. Shaves the sides of his head, and flops it over to one side.

He actually uses his hairstyles to try and reflect how he feels - masc or fem.

She also tells Toby pretty soon after Leo. He is her best friend after all.

The two have a cry and a cuddle. And Toby is really happy for him.

Nat probably wouldn't start Testosterone, but he would get top surgery/reduction. Doctor Smiley was more than happy to help her (plus, it gives Smile a free snack/j).

She definitely steals Leo's clothes on masc days before she buys some of her own. His favourite thing to steal is Leo's suspenders. They give him so much gender euphoria.

Also, wearing a baggy hoodie is the best cure for his dysphoria. Nat has a blue, white, and orange one he stole from Toby a while back.

Natalie probably wouldn't change her name.

She'd just go by Nat on her masc days - just because it's shorter/sharper.

But, yeah.

Tldr? Genderfluid Natalie, baybee!

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hathsinsurvivor · 10 months

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when i fucking tell you that i just realized — A YEAR AND A HALF AFTER MY BREAST REDUCTION SURGERY, MIND YOU — that what i wanted (and still do) was a full on TOP SURGERY and not just slightly smaller boobs because of a fucking random tiktok video i just watched of liv hewson talking about their top surgery… i got no words

it blows my mind because i remember showing the smallest fucking boobs known to man kind to my doctor before everything saying that’s what i needed and although she was awesome and they were obviously smaller after (not as small as the pictures tho) i was sooo disappointed that i still had them. and i kept telling myself that i was happy and they’re swollen so it was fine but i was gaslighting myself as usual lol

i didn’t like my boobs after the surgery!!!! i told myself and people close to me that i loved them in hopes to believe it at some point (i love to delude myself, truly a hobby at this point) but i have notes on my journal about how “weird it is that i’m not as happy as i hoped” like mf WAKE UP. i didn’t say anything about how they could’ve made them even smaller because surgeries are expensive and i didn’t want to act like i didn’t appreciate it, because i did. but.

BUT. i don’t like them. i don’t want boobs. i didn’t have the words to express how i felt about it when i was younger and when i did have those words, i still didn’t know they applied to me. i started thinking about gender and my gender expression months after the surgery. i toyed with the demigirl label for a while and now i’ve been happily identifying as non binary but fuck, you know? i could’ve figured it out months or a year ago and it’d have made so many things make more sense aaaaa

it’s just crazy to me how a random video on my for you page made me realize this. holy fucking shit man, it really was gender envy all this time lmao😭 i’m a dumbass

#personal #gender envy #breast reduction #top surgery #girlies when i tell you i’m a dumbass #believe it !#nonbinary #nb #and that’s not to say you can’t be nb and want just breast reduction or no surgery at all #this is just my experience #chest dysphoria

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c-kiddo · 1 year

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Something I've noticed from the few UK top surgeries I've seen is that their scar lines are remarkably straight and thin! Whereas, American surgeries seem to end up with many more thick and crooked lines. Just something interesting to me! Maybe Americans aren't as careful with themselves during the healing process or maybe UK top surgeons just perform neater surgeries. Interested to find out which it is but that seems to be a very hard census to run.

oh huh i feel like i haven't looked at scars enough to notice this. my scars are very thin and parts have got v close to my skin tone already though :-o but, see, there is actually one thing i did notice - in the run-up to surgery i was doing all this research of course, on what to bring and eat and use, and all the american videos they had SO much stuff for like after surgery and before compared to non-americans i watched who just kinda left things alone to heal. like, things that when i actually spoke to the surgeon he was like no thats unnecessary you just have to keep it clean and safe and it'll be fine. (i was ready to be redoing dressings like th american videos but actually i just kept things totally untouched for a bit over a week, then had a new dressing on one side for reason i will say next, and then basically not much at all... so maybe that effects things?).. i also didn't have drains, which i've noticed being more common with americans i think, because my surgeon didnt want to have them when again theyre not necessary. i had a small fluid/dead blood build up on one side under the incision but it was just drained manually (im not scared of needles to its fine) and the other side didnt need anything.. so i wonder if the drains effect it at all? i've seen people having problems with the hole where they enter i think, things reopening which, scary. Another thought that just occurred to me is that people in america seem to travel very far (yknow because its a big country) to go to specific surgeons whereas here its like,, get it on the nhs or go to a private cosmetic surgeon, so idk if there's difference there. .. my surgeon also didn't do incisions that i've seen on (again) mostly american peoples videos. . like inverted-t (he advised against this because its mostly for breast reduction and doesnt lay as flat and is harder to heal sometimes) and button and fish-mouth and that double incision thats connected in the middle (though correct me if im wrong but i think this is used more so for if youre heavier weight? iirc?) .. i just had double incision w nipple grafts and hm ye, it turned out v neat. ok this is a long ramble, but ya. if there rly is a noticeable comparable different between places thatd be interesting to figure out for sure . this is just thinking out loud because thats an interesting thing to bring up ngl

#this isnt generalising americans its just that when you search up top surgery things it is mostly americans lol #like making vlogs about it #my mam was like No more american vlogs it feels like a tv show. when i sent her a bunch of us and uk ones akjnfksn #also not mentioning other countries since idk and im from scotland so it doesnt apply #asks #long post. . .. . jeez

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