#ooh la la la deserved better

[lurkingshan]

Top 5 BL characters you wanted to hug and send to therapy?

Ooh good one, thank you for sending! Caveat that I think just about everyone can benefit from therapy, including every character in bl. So for this list I’m sticking with 1) characters I genuinely like; 2) who could clearly use a little more support. Here are the five I most want to give a big old hug and then sit them down on the therapist's couch:

Han Baram, Sing My Crush

Baby boy, I am very glad you found your Im Hantae and your voice again but I still think getting some support to unpack some of the damage that evil man did to you is a good idea.

Uea, Bed Friend

Do I need to explain this one? As @bengiyo says, dick is not magical and it cannot fix you. Uea, please enlist the help of a licensed professional to work through those mountains of trauma.

Kiyoi, Utsukushii Kare

I am honestly so proud of you already my guy, you have grown leaps and bounds in your ability to communicate with your partner. That said, you have plenty of your own shit still to work through and Hira is a real next level psychological minefield, so you definitely need help.

Tien, La Pluie

Who takes care of the caretaker? Certainly not any of the self-centered assholes you have surrounded yourself with, baby bro. You deserve someone who will actually pay attention to you.

Gun and Cher, A Boss and A Babe

These two get a two-for-one deal, straight into couples counseling so they can learn how to tackle things as a team rather than running their own schemes for the others' benefit without communicating.

Bonus: Jae Won, The Eighth Sense

I know he is already in therapy but it is very important that he continues and I just want to make that crystal clear. If we ever get that rumored season two I better see you at that office looking through the fishbowl lens every week.

Ask my top 5 anything in bl

#top 5 anything in bl #shan answers #ask game

[industriallyinsecure]

ooh hello is it ok to make a little request for la sqaudra reuniting with their s/o after they were gone on a 2 month trip that was back in the usa? I’m having thoughts an if think it’d be a cute reunion maybe aa ( if you could please include Sorbet & Gelato I would greatly appreciate it <3 if not that’s also ok ) thank you! i hope you’re doing ok c:

I realized you might have meant La Squadra was on the trip and came back after I had written most of them, whoops -v-

Risotto doesn’t let on how happy he is you’re back. His face is stoic and bold as ever. It’s only when you’re both cuddled up in bed that he even acknowledges you were gone. He mumbles in his deep voice that he missed you, bumping his large Roman nose against yours in a rare display of vulnerability. Normally he likes to hold hands while sleeping, but this time he’s laying his head across your chest, holding your waist with one arm and linking his fingers with yours with the other. For once in his life, he neglects his work the next day to just spend time with you, shyly peppering kisses across your nose with such gentility that it makes you giggle. He admittedly has abandonment issues, but he doesn’t let you know that he was constantly checking WhatsApp to make sure you were okay, or that he had worried himself sick thinking about almost every ‘what if’ possible. But you’re safe in his arms now, and that’s all that matters to him.

Ghiaccio acts like your absence didn’t bother him, until you mention the ski trip you took with your family. Then, he pouts for the entire drive back from the airport, his face scrunched up and tinged pink. He’ll listen to you for a while before bitching that HE could’ve taken you to a FAR better place in the Alps, and blah blah blah Italian superiority blah. The only way to shut him up is to either kiss him on the lips or force him to cuddle you. Cuddling is probably the way to go, at the very least you’ll make his entire face turn red from the close contact.

Melone is all over you as soon as you pass the airport gates. It’s a little embarrassing how he litters your face in kisses and picks you up and twirls you around in a surprising display of strength. Wants to know every detail about what you did, who you were with, what you ate, what you saw. He loves to watch your facial expressions while you recount your trip, smiling dreamily as he absorbs every detail. If you give him a gift, he’s over the moon and gushes about whatever it is to whoever will (and even those who won’t) listen to him. Missed you probably a bit too much.

Proscuitto is happy you’re back, but he doesn’t show it physically until you’re no longer in public. He’s the type of person who believes any intimacy needs to be kept behind doors. Not because he’s a prude (even though he can be some times), he just believes things like that deserve to be special and just between those involved. He asks about how your trip was, gently nipping at your ears and holding you close in his lap. Normally he doesn’t hold or touch you a lot, but two months of not being able to hold you while you slept in the same bed meant he had a lot to make up for. He sits and flutters his long eyelashes at you, waiting patiently for you so be done with your story so he can bring you into a passionate kiss that leaves you breathless. Lots of smooches and cuddling.

Pesci is freaking out!!! In a good way, that is. He was so lonely while you were gone, even Prosciutto didn’t help his mood improve. You’re immediately smothered in love and kisses by your sweet fishie boy, his face beaming with happiness. He hangs off every word you tell him, cheeks burning when you present him with a gift. You spend most of your time smothering him in love and affection and recounting your trip to him, soothing away his worries about maybe finding someone else.

Illuso acts aloof and cold until you’re in private. Then, he’s touching and holding and kissing and whining to you about everything. He bitches to you about how terrible his squad was to him, even though you know he’s probably the villain in all of his stories. When he’s finally done with his laundry list of complaints, he asks you about your trip. He does care, he just has a funny way of showing it, like making fun of the people you encountered or the restaurants you ate at.

Formaggio honestly probably didn’t even know you were gone. It’s a bit disappointing, to tell the truth, but it’s expected. Feels bad that he didn’t know and tries to make it up to you by listening to your stories from the trip. Falls asleep halfway through. Once again, expected. Formaggio does admit that he missed snuggling and cuddling you, and that his cat wasn’t a good replacement (he’s covered in scratches). Fontina probably notices your absence more because she doesn’t get as many treats.

Gelato is one of those people who makes an embarrassing sign to hold as they wait for their person to come through the gate. Sorbet tried to get him to spare you from embarrassment, but Gelato insisted. So, you’re greeted with a huge “WELCOME BACK FROM REHAB” sign with poorly crossed out pictures of various drugs pasted over the sign, Gelato behind it with a shit eating grin. Sorbet just looks tired. Gelato wastes no time telling you how miserable he and Sorbet were without you, but Sorbet has to assure you that they were fine and didn’t deviate from their usual routine.

#la squadra di esecuzione #ghiaccio #prosciutto #melone #risotto nero #pesci #formaggio #illuso #ghiaccio x reader #sorbet and gelato #la squadra x reader #prosciutto x reader #melone x reader #risotto x reader #risotto nero x reader #sorlato x reader #pesci x reader #illuso x reader #formaggio x reader

[olympeline]

I’ve only ever been vaguely aware of Eurovision in the past in a “oh, Eurovision is on? Yeah, sure, let’s watch it 👍” kinda way. Some years I’ve let it completely pass me by. But I’ve made a friend at my board games group who looooves Eurovision. It’s absolutely his thing that he waits all year for, and he’s helped me get into it too. I get it now. It’s really fun :D

So, I just binge listened to all the entries and here’s some thoughts from a newbie:

First off, who do I think will win? Croatia. Croatia: 100% my pick for #1. Never heard of Baby Lasgna before but now I want to listen to everything he’s ever made because what a banger Rim Tim Tagi Dim is! If this song doesn’t get at least top 2, that’s a paddlin crime. Seriously, it just has everything. Great melody, great lyrics, great message, super memorable. What more do you want? Come on, Croatia bros! Get your first win! 🇭🇷

That being said, if there’s anyone I think could give Baby Lasagna a run for his money, it’s Switzerland. I don’t think The Code is quite on Rim Tim Tagi Dim’s level, but live performances can mean a lot. If Nemo has a great night and Baby Lasagna fumbles his performance? Nemo could swing it. Some of his vocals? *Chef’s kiss* Even stronger than the strongest parts of Rim Tim Tagi Dim. It’s a dust up between a song I think is consistently super high in quality all the way through (Croatia) vs. one with quality that dips higher and lower at certain points (Switzerland) if that makes sense. I think the Swiss could walk a top 3 placement with this, easy 🇨🇭

Probably the entry where I differ most from the general opinion is Italy’s song. After listening, it struck me as a UK-tier entry (see below). As in good, but nothing remarkable. Middle ground. But that’s a minority opinion because everyone else loves La Noia! Everyone is saying it won’t just rank high, but will be huge after Eurovision and become a big chart topper. And I’m just here like: “Huh? Really? This one? 😯” Don’t get me wrong, it’s fine. But I can’t muster up any bigger feelings for it beyond “fine.” Guess it’s just taste at the end of the day 🇮🇹

Ooh la la, France’s song is beautiful! Absolutely gorgeous! As a side note, I love that so many entries are singing in their native languages. It’s so much better than everyone doing English. I do hope they give us a subtitles option, though. I can’t remember if that’s something Eurovision does? Anyway, I don’t know how true this is but I’ve heard Eurovision really doesn’t like slow, soulful ballads so maybe that will hurt Mon Amour? I hope not. It’s so lovely I think it deserves a lot of points. Slimane is another artist I’ve never heard of but I need to look up now. From across the channel, vive la France! 🇫🇷

The Netherlands’s Europapa is the dark horse of this competition. Has to be. I don’t think it will win - not against entries like Rim Tim Tagi Dim - buuut if it did, I wouldn’t be super surprised…? I can see a top 5 or even a top 3. I know the jury people can be sniffy about songs that are too silly and playful so maybe they will be Joost Klein’s downfall? I think viewers will love it, though. I certainly did. I wouldn’t be mad at all if Europapa won 🇳🇱

If the Netherlands is the dark horse then Finland is the dark horse’s dark horse. I love No Rules! It’s so much fun and a real camp banger, too! Just pure, pure cracky fun. I think this will be a real love/hate, marmite “you either get it, or you think it’s really dumb” entry. I have no idea where this one will place. If it came bottom 5 I’d be like, “yeah, understandable” and if it came top 5 I’d be like “yeah, understandable.” Love it either way. Keep doing you, Finland (and yes, I agree you deserved to win last year) 🇫🇮

Before getting into this contest, I had no idea Luxembourg was such a Eurovision powerhouse! Look at this little Duchy that could, coming out every year swinging at the big boys and getting knock out after knock out. What an inspiration for the little guys of the world. It’s awesome, just like their song. I think this could be a mid to upper entry? Fighter is low in the odds right now, so I’m hoping this will be an entry that ends up surprising everyone on the day. Keep that David and Goliath energy going, Luxies! 🇱🇺

Spain was a surprise! I know from my limited Eurovision awareness that they usually score low, so I wasn’t expecting much. But I really liked Zorra a lot. Apparently people think it will either do really well or really badly? I hope it does well because I loved it. Go, Spain! I hope you crack the top ten 🇪🇸

I can’t make up my mind about Austria’s We Will Rave. Sometimes I like it, sometimes I think it’s too generic club banger? Of all the entries, this is the one I’m going back and forth on the most even after lots of repeat listens. If I had to choose a position, I’d say middle to upper middle? Hmm. IDK. We’ll see how you do, tricksy little hobbitses Austria 🇦🇹

As for closer to home in the British Isles, I didn’t care for Ireland’s song, sadly. I’ve listened to it twice now and I can barely remember it. Which is surprising since even I know Ireland is usually one of the big, swinging dicks of Eurovision. One of the few countries who can give the Swedish master race a run for the top spots. I was expecting a lot from Ireland but, IDK, it didn’t feel like Doomsday Blue could find an identity? Like, it’s stuck halfway between a serious and a wacky entry? It’s hard to put into words because I’m so musically illiterate lol, but I’ll try. It’s not dramatic enough to compete with Rim Tim Tagi Dim or The Code, but not crazy enough that it doesn’t get overshadowed by Europapa and No Rules. Speaking of, I think it’s trying to do what Europapa has but didn’t quite make it? Ehh, we’ll see 🇮🇪

The UK? Hmm. Eehh. Mmm? Hmm…I think Dizzy is a good song and I like it better than Doomsday Blue, but I’d be surprised if it was a threat to the upper echelons. It’s too safe. Competent, nothing wrong with it, but doesn’t stand out. I don’t think it will do badly exactly - unless Olly Alexander really boobs it up on the night - but I can’t see a top ten placement. If our Irish bros come low, I think we Brits will come an unremarkable middle of the pack? Or just under? Again, we’ll see 🇬🇧

Speaking of countries who are usually members of the Eurovision Cripples Team as my friend calls us (wooo! Yeah! Go go useless nations! 🇪🇸 🇩🇪 🇬🇧 😂) apparently poor Germany is predicted to come last again. And yeeeaaahhh, considering this is another entry I can’t remember at all despite multiple listens, I’d believe it. I still love you, Germany. Don’t give up! Satellite was one of the Eurovision finals I actually saw, so I believe they can be good again 🇩🇪

Aaaaaand those are all my thoughts so far. It’s still a few months away, but I’m already getting excited! I can’t wait to go to my first watch party. Then afterwards it will be fun to look back on this post and see how my predictions held up. Maybe I’ll have some beginner’s luck? Either way, best wishes to all countries performing! 😄

#eurovision 2024 #esc 2024 #my posts #not hetalia

[hamartia-grander]

Alrighty here’s mah lil ranty rant (But long, many apologies I dunno how I could shorten it)

Let’s start with Ada bc mommy- I mean mommy- I mean- (/j)

Ada Wong:

-So I see a lot of people trash Ada for the fact her personality seems to be more cold. She has distant she’s cruel (although she still seems to have lines she won’t cross, like with Wesker and the Las Plagas sample). I see people complain about that but I would like to make a hot take, here: it’s actually better. She’s a mercenary. She’s a gun for hire- her job has to be cold because she could be betraying her friends at any given second. In the older games, she was sort of just… I don’t know… A bit too human for the job, and the role in the story that she is meant to fill. I see people describing her as a Bella, and honestly, I strongly disagree. In fact, I would argue that the original was more of a Bella then the remakes. This is because all she was really there is for the generic “Ooh look pretty woman, bad ass eye candy” trope. I’m not saying that she didn’t have any depth as a character- I’m just saying that the remake gave her much more credit as a character, and made her much more interesting.

all right, moving onto the old man. (#1 Wesker hater over here I’m sorry I’m not sorry lol)

Albert Wesker:

-I know that I hate this guy, but even I have to appreciate that out of quite a few of the Weskers that have been made, this version is just better written. I see people complain that he is too angry and honestly, I disagree. The fact that he has a hidden anger, makes sense from a character perspective. And he’s getting increasingly more cheesed off at Spencer for obvious reasons. No wonder he’s pissed. Personally, I think the fact that they’re showing that he has emotions- he’s just learned to control them- is honestly much more compelling. I still hate the guy, but I can see where he’s coming from- in a twisted and a messed up way.

yeah. That’s it l. that’s all I got for him. I don’t really like him that much so he doesn’t deserve a whole essay like Ada imo. (Still like his character, though he’s very interesting.)

that’s my rant. Thanks for hearing me out -> I know this was ridiculously long. That’s why I asked permission first. I basically just wrote an entire essay in your asks and I am so sorry lmao

hjadsg no need to apologise. I may have to contest you for #1 wesker hater tho,,, 👀 I hate his guts too

BUT you're absolutely right the DLC added so much depth to their characters. and personally made wesker MORE hate-able to me personally because we just further see how messed up he is, to the point where even Ada - who has had to numb herself to the details of the job to survive - had visible negative reactions to his genocidal nonsense. I loved Lily's performance in the base game but she especially got to shine in the DLC, she absolutely nailed the cold look with emotion hidden underneath. Ada's cold exterior is her armour against her own emotions, she can't take a second to feel as that could be the second she dies, she doesn't have the luxury of emotional vulnerability; even though she does feel, she does care, she cannot afford to let herself. And little things like eye movements, lip twitches, subtle body language, and her inflections were all techniques Lily used to portray that tumultuous relationship between Ada and her feelings, and Lily did fucking amazing at it. Best Ada performance ever. Ada's never been allowed that depth before because she's always had to be palatable to the male audience :) so I'm glad she's finally getting it. And Wesker finally feels like a real villain, rather than just another power hungry white guy (which, he very much is, but now there's depth to it lol). Wesker's dialogue in the DLC is scary, and it makes the audience more aware of what exactly he believes and what his motives are. This DLC added so much to the base game that really drives it as my favourite RE game.

#and ofc Ada is mommy #Ada Wong #albert wesker #resident evil 4 remake #Separate Ways #resident evil 4 #resident evil analysis #asks

[tortugatalks]

𝗖𝗮𝗻𝗱𝗹𝗲-𝗟𝗶𝘁 𝗗𝗶𝗻𝗻𝗲𝗿𝘀 𝘄𝗶𝘁𝗵 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗪𝗞 𝗩𝗶𝗹𝗹𝗮𝗶𝗻𝘀|ᴴᶜˢ

a.n. wine and dine? wine and dine! paisley paver and rex will be exempt from these hcs ahahem... i have yet to fully watch their eps, but they'll be here soon! trust 🤝

𓆉 gender neutral reader

𓆉 established romantic relationship

𓆉 no warnings!

Zach Varmitech

━ wild rats, wild varmints—ugh! it's enough to drive any evil genius insane! what better way to rid yourself of these burdens than to have a nice candle-lit dinner with your love? and you know what...? that actually sounds like a feasible idea! that settles it. he'll call in his zachbots and have them prepare the table and food for you and him. up in the city sky within his skyscraper, that's where! this is a night truly well deserved after all. your host? him of course!

━ type of guy that thinks he has it all planned out, but in execution? mmm, perhaps not. ever seen those really long tables in the movies? where two people sit opposite of one another and there's this entire space left in between? yeah, you both will be seated at one of those. it looks formidable and exquisite, sure, but when you two actually talk to each other? mans is just yelling out 'WHAT?'s whenever you speak and it's really not that efficient. he ultimately, and rather begrudgingly, has a zachbot seat you closer to him. does it kill the vibe? for him, probably, but for you? not so much!

━ his zachbots will be your waiters for tonight ooh la la, but like, c'mon, they're not entirely the best at double meanings and social cues. can't read the room! you'll have zach call them over to "fetch" him a bottle of wine and the bots take it a little too literally. it's chaos, but honestly? you'd be lying if you said you weren't having the time of your life.

━ little romantic moments with the self proclaimed genius inventor are few and far between, but in this moment, he likes to indulge in the fact that he's the one in control. no distractions, no green boy or blue boy to be seen; just you two. tries to be sauvé, and it works out for him at the start, but there's bound to be a few slip ups here and there. i.e. when he mistakenly initiates a flower protocol that instantly has his bots waltzing in with bouquets. they're decorated in pretty black wraps and ribbons, and for a second his face is crimson. he panics and yells that now wasn't the time and he tries ever so hard to get you to think that the flowers that just so happened to be your favorites "weren't" for you.

Donita Donata

━ she's worked terribly hard. fashion designing, evil schemes, organizing runway shows; it's an exhaustion that has her extremely burned out! so... why not plan a dinner date just for her? yes!! tell her about it and there's already sparkles in her eyes. she talks a lot about the kind of scented candles you'll have, the luxury wine, the appetizers—oh, she just has to call in dabio! and it must be in her glamorous mansion too! she gets so into it and completely forgets that you were the one who was supposed to be planning the night, but oh well!

━ dresses up nicely in luxurious clothes she knows you'll like! she's quick to put together something for you too, and without a doubt, its definitely matching. even dabio gets his own little fancy suit! (he'll be your lovely waiter for the night, of course!)

━ all lights are dimmed to a light pink once the clock strikes night time. if you're to pull out her chair and get her cozy in her seat, she'll let out a low but a loving hum. consider her impressed! bonus points if you compliment her, but c'mon, she already knows she owns the look! through it all, the mood is relaxing. conversations consist of casual flirtatious comments, plans for the future and so on and so forth. loves maintaining eye contact with you, so when you speak, you'll typically see her resting her chin on the palm of her hand with her elbow resting on the table, eyes trained on your face. if you're one to fluster easily, she'll have herself a fond laugh <3

━ would absolutely love to slow dance with you. stand up from your seat, offer her your hand and she'll be pleasantly surprised! she'll rock with you in your arms and give you tiny squeezes here and there. she loves toeing with the line of propriety and can be a bit of a tease every now and then!

Dabio

━ the sweetest ever! he hardly has any time for himself considering that he's always assisting donita with her fashion work. you gotta convince her to lay him off work for a bit, if just for one day! much to your surprise, she gives in to your wishes. just one day, though, but that's all you need before you're off planning a relaxing homemade date night for the both of you. tell dabio about it and he's just as happy, if not more than you! very excited and can't wait to spend the evening with you. he insists that he helps you cook, and you just can't say no to him <3

━ the dinner date isn't as fancy as the former two, but it holds a lot of love. despite not being on the job, dabio is ever the gentleman! he's fully decked out in the clothes donita made for him, he pulls out your chair for you, gifts you flowers, compliments you—the works! but of course, the dinner date is meant for him as much as he treats it like it's for you. if you happen to have a gift for him, he'll be on cloud nine! rest assured, whatever it is, he'll cherish it forever (or for as much as he possibly can!)

━ dinner talk is filled to the brim with laughter and conversations about practically anything you two can think of! he, however, loves to listen to you talk. whether it's about your day or your interests, dabio patiently and intently listens to everything you have to say while he eats and chimes in with a few comments of his own.

━ serve him some wine or offer to get up and get him a second serving and this guy has got hearts in his eyes! he absolutely adores your kindness and is very much appreciative, but don't think for a second that he won't do the same for you. he treats you like royalty and c'mon, to him it's only fair!

Gaston Gourmand

━ prepare to have yourself the most delicious and exquisite dinner you've ever had. having a dinner date was his idea and he takes it as an opportunity to woo you with his killer culinary skills and romantic gestures. the location he chooses isn't the most grandiose, but it's sweet with you in mind. he opts to dine somewhere familiar: out in the open (preferably next to a lake or river) in the foldout cafe area of his camper—string lights galore! surprise, surprise, he doesn't tell you what he has planned, but you know he's up to something with the way his tone dances as he speaks. all he does manage to tell you is for you to dress in comfortable clothes come night time! doesn't have to be anything particularly fancy—you'll look great in anything!

━ doesn't take long before he gets started on the cooking. everything will be made a la gourmand! he would like for you to feast on a rare dish, but it seems that whenever he does try to go and hunt something, green grape and blueberry are always there. he mulls over the thought a bit and ultimately decides that he doesn't want to go through all that for tonight at all. besides, he has exceptional cooking skills! whatever he makes will be jaw dropping and drool inducing either way.

━ very cheesy in execution. he does that thing where he covers your eyes with his hands as he leads you to his makeshift café. he pays close attention to your reactions and his heart swells with pride once you catch a whiff of a dish that smells particularly tasty! once he takes his hands off your face, he puffs out his chest with every compliment you throw at him. he may not look the part, but gourmand is determined to impress you!

━ as your dearly devoted partner, he takes full responsibility in serving you and making you feel content through and through. doesn't expect you to eat all proper, rather, he enjoys seeing you scarf down your dinner plate. he loves to talk big, his ego blinding, but he does like hearing you talk. he lets you get your own way in everything you do, not expecting anything other than the same from you in return <3

#wild kratts x reader #zach varmitech x reader #donita donata x reader #dabio x reader #gaston gourmand x reader

[randomvarious]

La Bouche - "You Won't Forget Me" 1997 Eurodance / Eurohouse

Well, this one definitely deserved better, folks. With German group La Bouche's trio of Eurodance hits that managed to make it Stateside, there was always an incorporation of some brief and catchy wordless vocal from frontwoman Melanie Thornton that would further enhance the tune's overall stickiness. Their biggest hit, "Be My Lover," which actually won an ASCAP award for being the "Most Played Song in America," had the unforgettable "la-da-da-di-da-da-da-da;" their second-biggest hit, "Sweet Dreams," had "ola-ola-ay;" and with "You Won't Forget Me," there was "ooh-ooh-ooh-na-na-na-na."

But ironically, "You Won't Forget Me" would turn out to be the group's least memorable dancy single in the US, only managing to hit #48 on the Billboard Hot 100. And while it was probably the weakest of their little US run, it was still a fine Euro-pumper with a long and very catchy combined chorus and post-chorus that, once again, showed the dynamic power of Melanie's terrifically deep diva voice, as it was paired with a little and well-executed, clinking synth melody.

So, I feel like this one should've gotten a lot more love in the US than it ended up receiving, and I don't really understand why it ultimately got such little radio rotation, because listening to it, it feels like it was a perfectly good fit for either a pop or dance-oriented format in 1998. But for whatever reason, "You Won't Forget Me" just never took, and, sadly, it marked both the last time La Bouche would ever enter the Hot 100, and their last moderately successful hit in Europe too 😞.

More fun videos here.

#eurodance #euro dance #dance #dance music #euro house #eurohouse #house #house music #electronic #electronic music #music #90s #90s music #90's #90's music #Youtube

[kelyon]

Courtship 14: Bridesmaids

Lacey tells her friends about the wedding

Read on AO3

Wednesday morning, Miss French opened Game of Thorns and worked the morning shift, accompanied by the sullen, silent presence of her father. At noon, she got ready for her weekly lunch with Janine and Mara. She decided to wear all new clothes today. The future Mrs. Gold had to look her best at all times. 

She started with a tight gray pencil skirt that went down to her knees. At Modern Fashions, she had managed to find thick socks that went up to her thighs but didn’t connect in the middle. That would keep her warm while still following Mr. Gold’s rule about having as little as possible covering her up. The socks were boring black, so she livened up the look with a pair of burgundy leather boots. Her top was a luscious maroon, almost see-through if she didn’t wear a camisole underneath. She had camisoles now, five of the same shirt in different colors. Once, that would have been an unthinkable luxury.

The only thing she didn’t have new was underwear. Modern Fashions had a limited selection of black and beige granny panties, and the bras were equally dumpy. Miss French deserved something more interesting than that. Well, Mr. Gold deserved something more interesting than that. She had been waiting for the right opportunity to visit Mara’s lingerie boutique. Maybe today, after lunch, after she picked up her birth control from the pharmacy. 

Leaning into her mirror to put makeup on, Miss French tried not to contemplate what being on birth control would mean for her. Of course she didn’t want kids now, so Mr. Gold was right to stop that process before it could start. But she had always thought that she’d have children someday. Some nebulous future after college and a career and a husband and a house. Of course, those blurry dreams always had Mom around, enjoying being a grandmother.

“Fuck!” She’d stabbed herself with her eyeliner pencil. Tears welled up in her eyes and she quickly blotted them with toilet paper. “Fucking cheap shit.”

She would get new makeup at the pharmacy. Mr. Gold had given her enough money for it. She’d buy out the whole department, get the most expensive brands in every color they had. 

Blinking and squinting, Miss French salvaged the rest of her eye makeup. Examining herself in the mirror, she looked good. She looked like Miss French, like the future Mrs. Gold. This was her first time showing off this side of herself to the big wide world. She’d better make a damn good impression.

****

This time, it was Mara who was first at Granny’s. When she saw Miss French from across the diner, she mimed a face of shock and awe. 

“You look so good!” she said. “What’s going on? Do you have a business meeting later? Are you pitching Game of Thorns to some venture capitalists in Boston?”

“No, nothing like that,” Miss French laughed. She took off her hat and new coat, but left her gloves on. “I do have good news, but I want to wait until Janine gets here before I say anything.”

They didn’t wait long. Janine burst in, her salon smock peeking out from underneath her parka. After a round of hugs, she slid in the booth next to Mara. 

“Hey strangers,” she said. “Sorry I’m late. The month started yesterday and I am booked.”

“Told you!” Mara said. “One week! That’s all it takes to flip your life upside down.”

Miss French laughed at that, a little too loudly. It was true! A week ago she had just finished her first date with Mr. Gold and now she was getting ready to marry him. 

“Hey.” She put her gloved hand flat on the table to get their attention. “You guys order whatever you want, okay? Full meals. It’s on me.” 

“Ooh, la di da!” Mara grinned. “Does this have to do with your good news?”

“You have good news?” Janine asked. “God knows we need more of that.”

“Let’s order first.” Miss French hid her coy smile behind her menu. 

When Ruby the waitress stopped by the table, Janine and Mara both looked at her for confirmation before they ordered. She nodded enthusiastically. 

“So,” Mara said when they were done. “Spill the beans. What the heck is going on?”

Miss French took a deep breath. Her heart was racing. She tried to pretend it was just excitement, that she didn’t have a shred of fear about telling her two best friends the best news of her life. 

Slowly, deliberately, she took off first her right glove, then her left. She held out her left hand for them to see her ring. It took them a second to put the pieces together.

“Oh my God,” Janine whispered. “Did you get married?”

“Not yet,” Miss French said. “This is sort of a combination, an engagement ring and a wedding ring at the same time.”

“Wha--” Mara kept shaking her head. “When? Who?”

“There’s a man that I’ve been dating for a while. I wasn’t sure what it was so I didn’t want to tell you guys, but then on Sunday he proposed.”

“Oh my God!” Janine squealed. “That’s amazing! But I can’t believe you didn’t tell us! You sneak!” 

“It all happened pretty fast,” Miss French admitted. 

“How fast?” Mara asked. “How long have you had a secret lover?”

Miss French giggled. “Not too fast. I know getting married is a big step, but I really think I’m ready for it. And of course I want you two to be my bridesmaids.”

“Oh, Lacey!” Janine’s smile filled up her face. “Of course! God, we used to dream about being in each other’s weddings!”

“Have you set a date yet?” Mara asked. “And who the heck is your husband?” 

“It’s actually coming up really fast,” Miss French said. “It’s gonna be on February twelfth, at Dodici’s.”

“Wait, the twelfth? Next Saturday?” Mara looked her up and down. “Are you pregnant?”

“No!”

“It’d be okay if you were. We’d support you.” That came from Janine, who was already supporting her mother and sister--and failing at it.

“I’m not!” Miss French repeated. “That’s not what’s going on.”

“Yeah, Uncle Moe isn’t really the shotgun type.”

“So why so fast?” Mara asked.

Miss French shrugged. “When you find someone you want to spend the rest of your life with, you want the rest of your life to start as soon as possible.”

“Who is this guy?” Mara was almost shouting now. “You never talked this way when you were dating Hunter.”

“Yeah, and Hunter was a catch,” Janine said. “Cool, rich and gorgeous? You were so lucky.”

“He was alright,” Miss French shrugged. “But I’m doing a lot better than Hunter now.”

“A lot better with…?” 

Mara wouldn’t let this go. The fact that it was a perfectly reasonable question only made it more awkward that she didn’t want to answer. For just a few more minutes, she wanted to bask in her friends’ celebration. She wanted to stay in the fantasy that they would embrace and support her and the man she chose to marry. That they would have no reason not to. 

She got a break when Ruby came back with their lunches. The waitress set their orders down, made sure everything was correct, and went on her way.

“I’m serious, Lacey,” Mara said as she took a bite of her lobster roll. “If you don’t tell us who you’re marrying, I’m gonna drag you into the harbor by your nostrils and stick you under water until you do.”

Miss French smiled sheepishly, and added extra pickles to her burger. “Okay, I’ll tell you, but you have to promise not to freak out.”

“Why would we freak out?” Janine cut into her lasagna. 

“Well, my dad freaked out when I told him. So did my uncle Manny.”

“Yeah, well they’re old farts,” Mara said. “We’re the hip, cool, new generation. And we’re your friends, so we’re on your side no matter what.”

“Really?” Lacey’s heart leapt to her throat..

“Yeah!” Mara said. Janine nodded her agreement. 

“Okay,” Miss French took a deep breath. “And just… understand that this isn’t as bad as you might think it is.”

“Why all these cautions?” Mara asked. “Did you sell your soul to Lucifer or something?”

“No,” she said softly. “No, it’s not like that. It’s… It’s Mr. Gold.”

There was a moment’s silence. 

Janine’s eyebrows furrowed. “What about Mr. Gold?”

“It’s him. He’s the man. I’m… going to marry him.”

Her friends’ expressions were exactly the same: Shock giving way to horror and sorrow. Janine set her fork down and looked at her lasagna like she had found a severed thumb inside it. Mara kept trying to say something and kept failing. 

“W-W-W-Why?” she finally managed. “Lacey, are you okay? Does he have something over you? You know you have options. You can go to Sheriff Graham. Do you need us to give you money?”

“You don’t have money,” Miss French said coolly. “And I told you, this isn’t a bad thing. I like Mr. Gold. I want to marry him.”

“You--you can’t,” Janine sounded like she was about to cry. “He’s so old. And he’s so horrible.”

“He’s not that bad.”

“You can only say that because you don’t owe him money.” 

“No, I owe him more than that,” she said. “He’s given me things you can’t even imagine. And I love it. I want more of it. I’m going to marry him and I want you guys to be there with me. Please.”

Mara set down her lobster roll. She seemed to have put together where all this newfound cash was coming from. 

“He’ll pay for your dresses!” Miss French tried. “And Janine, you can do my hair! Do one of those crazy updos you like to do? I’ll pay you for your time!”

“Lacey,” her cousin whispered. 

“Me being in this position will be a good thing for all of us,” she went on. “Mr. Gold throws money at me, I can pass it on! I can help you guys!”

“Oh my God, he pays you?” Disgust painted Mara’s face. “And you take it?”

“Yeah, I take everything he gives me,” Miss French snapped. “Take it any way he wants me to.”

“And you’re proud of this?” Mara shook her head. “Lacey, don’t you know what this makes you?”

“A whore,” Miss French said bluntly. “Yeah, I know. That’s why I’m marrying him, so I won’t be a whore anymore.”

“What will you be?” Mara went on. “You think people will call you any less of a golddigger just because you’re wearing a ring? Do you think he won’t know you’re bought and paid for? Lacey, he’ll use that as an excuse to do anything to you!”

“That’s what I’m hoping for!”

“I mean he’ll treat you like shit. This is a classic recipe for you being in danger.”

“I’m not in danger.” She rolled her eyes. “Mr. Gold isn’t a monster. He’s just a man who gets what he wants--and right now, he wants me! I think that’s great!”

Janine seemed to have shut down for a few minutes. When she finally looked up, her sky blue eyes were full of tears. “You’ll be a totally different person once you’re married to him. You’re already different.”

“Yeah, that’s the point,” Miss French said sharply. “I want to be different. I want to be better. Mr. Gold is my ticket to an actual life and not just scraping by to survive all the time. And I can find ways to take you with me! He told me he wants me to take care of you two. We can do this together!”

“Do you mean…?” Mara made a face. 

“No! No, of course not.”

“He’ll ask for something like that,” Janine said. “You know a man like that is probably some kind of pervert.”

“He’s the best kind of pervert,” Miss French told them proudly. “He’s the kind of pervert I’m into.” 

“Oh my God.” Janine covered her mouth with her hand. “How could you do this, Lacey?”

Defeated, Miss French slumped in her booth. “Why did I think you two would be different? Like, I understand my dad going apeshit because I’m having sex with a man he personally hates, but I thought you guys would get it.”

“He’s a bad man,” Janine whispered. “He’ll make you do bad things.”

She scoffed. “You sound like a child. That’s how Chloe would understand the world.”

“She’s not wrong,” Mara said. “I don’t think this relationship is good for you, and I know that being married to him will be worse. Worse for you, Lacey. He will hurt you!”

“That’s what I get off on,” Miss French said in a catty stage whisper. “I like the way Mr. Gold treats me. I want to be the person he thinks I can be.”

“Oh God!” Janine said again. She pushed herself away from the table and ran crying into the bathroom.

Mara gave her a withering look, then ran after her friend.

Miss French stayed where she was. She ate her burger, and waited for them to come back. They would come back. If nothing else, they wouldn’t waste a free lunch. 

Would they?

After waiting for half an hour, she tossed a fifty on the table and left. 

****

She stormed the short walk from Granny’s to Dark Star Pharmacy. Those fucking bitches. Those small-minded, puritanical idiots! Couldn’t they see what was right in front of them? Were they so blinded by hate and fear that anything to do with Mr. Gold automatically became unclean? Who were they to tell her what she could and couldn’t do? Who were they to judge her? Fucking virgins, so obsessed with being good they’d never get a chance be alive.

She ground her teeth.

It wasn’t fair. She wanted to be with Mr. Gold. He made her feel happy, he made her feel everything. Why couldn’t anyone in her life understand that? Why did gaining him mean she had to lose them?

Was it really too much to ask for both?

When she got to the pharmacy, she grabbed a basket and immediately started filling it with the most expensive things you could find in a drug store in Storybrooke. The brand-name organic lotion in all the offbeat scents? She got one of each. The salon-approved shampoo and conditioner for curly hair? Yes please! Shaving cream and razors, nail polish and face masks, she got all of it. Everything she’d ever thought was too indulgent to spend on herself. Everything she used to think she was a better person for not using. Lacey French hadn’t needed to fuss over her appearance, her brains would carry her everywhere.

But she wasn’t that girl anymore. Mrs. Gold would be a stupid slut and she’d have more luxuries than that delusional child could ever have dreamed of.

She rounded the corner and found herself in the magazine aisle. There was a girl, maybe twelve or so, with lank dark hair and owlish eyes that were too big for her face. She was staring at the magazines, at the models and celebrities with big boobs and perfect smiles. Her expression was something between rapture and starvation. 

Lacey recognized the feeling. The bone-deep hunger for the lives that you knew were fake but wanted to be real. It was frivolity and vanity, but it was also joy and glamour. To be the girl everyone looked at--or even just the girl who could fit in with the girls everyone looked at. To be wanted and idolized. To always wear the right clothes, say the right words, be the right person. To be pretty, effortlessly pretty. To sparkle and shine and feel like you can do anything.

And then to hate yourself for wanting something you’d never have. Something that no one ever really has. Even the models on the magazines don’t really live the life they’re selling. You’re smart enough to know it's a lie but you still hate yourself for not having it. You want to believe in the dream, want it so much more than anything in your real life. 

The girl looked at Miss French, head tilted, mouth open a little. The kid was dressed in loose jeans and dirty sneakers. Her top half was covered by an insulated hoodie big enough to belong to a grown man. She looked at Miss French in a form-fitting wool coat and burgundy boots. She looked at the styled hair, the makeup it had taken her half an hour to get right. 

Miss French caught the girl’s eye and winked. “It gets better,” she said. “You won’t be in middle school forever.”

Then she grabbed a copy of Vogue and a copy of Cosmopolitan and put them in her basket. It was getting heavy now, so she might as well check out. She went to the prescription pick-up counter and waited for Mr. Clark, the short little pharmacist who was always sneezing. 

“Hi!” she said when he came to the counter. It was easier now to be bright and chipper, to play the role of Mr. Gold’s fiancee. “I’m here to pick up a prescription.”

“Oh right.” Mr. Clark nodded, then turned his head to sneeze into his elbow. “Dr. Whale called me at home last night for this. He said the order came from Mr. Gold?”

“Mmm-hmm!” Miss French smiled. 

Mr. Clark gave her a puzzled look. “You’re Lacey French, right? From the flower shop? Why is Gold throwing his weight around to get you an express prescription?”

Her anger came back with a vengeance. She didn’t owe answers to a pharmacist. She was going to be Mrs. Gold. She didn’t owe anything to anyone. At that moment, something inside her turned sharp and hard and brittle. The hot lava of her rage solidified into an obsidian blade.

She smiled.

“Well you can see what the pills are, can’t you?” Her voice was cheerful and patronizing, like she was talking to a kindergartner she was trying not to murder. 

“Yeah.” The pharmacist was oblivious. He looked down at the label on the white paper bag. “It’s birth control.”

Miss French leaned over the counter to get in his snot-nosed face. “Why do you think Mr. Gold is buying me birth control? Hmm? I’ll give you a hint--it’s not so I can fuck anybody else!”

“Jesus,” he whispered. “Look, I’m sorry, I--” He turned away for another sneeze, then came back, wiping his nose. He stuck the used tissue in his pants pocket. “I didn’t mean to offend you.”

“Yeah, well you did,” Miss French said. “So why don’t you just check me out and I can move on with my life?”

The pharmacist exhaled a long breath. After a quick moment to douse his hands with sanitizer, he began to ring up her stuff.

****

As she left the pharmacy, Miss French looked down the street towards Mr. Gold’s shop. Part of her wanted to run to him. She wanted to take refuge in the steady warmth of his presence. She wanted to unburden herself, tell him what a rotten day she was having, that she’d been betrayed and abandoned by people she’d known since she was born. Maybe he would listen to her, maybe he’d have good advice. Or maybe he’d just fuck her until those bitches didn’t matter anymore. Maybe he’d punish her for needing them so much in the first place.  

But he hadn’t asked her to visit him today, and she didn’t want to interrupt his work. She couldn’t go demanding his time and attention over every little thing that bothered her. Mr. Gold was a busy man, an important man. When he focused on her, it was because she was important. She couldn’t ask for that all the time. 

Besides, she was an adult. She could deal with stuff on her own, especially this petty shit. Mr. Gold had given her money and a shadow of his power. She wore his ring and soon she would have his name. What did it matter what lesser people thought of her? What did it matter that a pharmacist gawked? What did it matter that a hairdresser and a lingerie seller might never talk to her again?

She was going to be Mrs. Gold. She had better start acting like it.    

#courtship #rumbelle #golden lace #rumbelle fic #golden lace fic

[dcvrimb]

  ♡ don’t be afraid i feel it too, a devrim & mi-reu playlist ♡                ( escuchar )

❝  they longed each to invade the other’s heart ❞.

para @h-mireu ♡

        •——» 𝙩𝙧𝙖𝙘𝙠𝙡𝙞𝙨𝙩 «——•

01. LITTLE NUMBERS de Boy ( i've re-arranged parts of my living room but time is hard to kill since I met you [...] watch the sky change to a darkened blue. i can't think of another thing to do and every song just makes me think of you )

02. FUERTEVENTURA de Russian Red ( do you remember when we used to live things separate? we hadn’t met or thought that could be possible. i’m glad you had your life. so good so listen to your past all of those things brought you with me and now we’re two )

03. I WANNA GET LOST WITH YOU de Stereophonics ( do you remember lighting the flame? was a birthday party of someone, then you told me your name. thought you were one in a million. i wanna get lost with you. it's the only thing I wanna do. get out of my mind with you )

04. HOLD U de Indigo De Souza ( you are a good thing i've noticed, i've noticed. and i want a good thing with you. you are the best thing, and i've got it, i've got you and i would do anything for you. and I will hold you, i will hold you, oh-oh )

05. ¿QUÉ SE SIENTE QUE ME GUSTES TANTO? de Daniel, Me Estás Matando ( hoy conspiran mis suspiros en contra de mis ganas cuando pasas y te miro y más allá de lo instintivo, tus ojos tienen algo que me deja pensativo [...] ¿qué se siente que me gustes tanto? que debo de aceptar que tengo miedo de tu encanto. ¿qué se siente que me gustes tanto, amor? que si un día tú te vas con alguien más, yo voy también )

06.  DREAMING OF YOU de Cigarretes After Sex ( seen you from afar wondered who you are, wondered what you're like. think you're just my type and now I'm dreaming, dreaming, dreaming, dreaming, dreaming of you )

07. ACURRUCAR de Ed Maverick  ( aunque no te culpo, hay veces en que ni siquiera yo me entiendo. quiero que sigamos aturrándonos la vida de recuerdos, quiero que me digas que me quieres y que me vas a extrañar [...] un día más, una vez más. en tus brazos, yo me quiero acurrucar )

08. PARIS IN THE RAIN de Lauv (  i look at you now and i want this forever. i might not deserve it but there's nothing better. don't know how i ever did it all without you. my heart is about to, about to jump out of my chest. feelings they come and they go, that they do. feelings they come and they go, not with you.  we don't need a fancy town or bottles that we can't pronounce, 'cause anywhere, babe is like paris in the rain )

09.  HYPNOTISED de Years & Years ( surround me, body and soul pull me into your glow, make me blush. unbound me, spin me in gold as the story unfolds in your touch. ooh, who can breathe me into life? ooh, just one more look at you my heart has been hypnotized )

10.  JUMP THEN FALL (TAYLOR’S VERSION) de Taylor Swift ( i like the way you sound in the morning. we're on the phone and without a warning i realize your laugh is the best sound i have ever heard. i like the way i can't keep my focus, i watch you talk, you didn't notice. i hear the words but all i can think is we should be together.  whoa, oh, I'm feeling you, baby. don't be afraid to jump then fall, jump then fall into me )

11.  I ALWAYS KNEW de The Vaccines ( down, down in my bones somewhere I'd never ever known, right at the back of my head. it hit me like a beam of light, hit me like a hook of the right. and i could have fell to the floor 'cause you talk to me and it comes off the wall. you talk to me and it goes over my head. so let's go to bed before you say something real. let's go to bed before you say how you feel )

12. NORTH de Clairo (  i'm nervous, couldn't tell you why. touching me, hands warm on my thighs and i know i could turn a blind eye. afraid of what i'm gonna find, does it really have to be this way? oh, when my body hasn't felt the same? since you left my apartment. think how it feels to have your scent )

13. JAZZ BAR de Dreamcatcher ( english translation / even for the smallest movements i can't help but respond. baby, you know it (know it). know, baby, you know it. perhaps we are similar, thinking the same thoughts. seemingly wanting for something. did you slip in through open doors and sit down just to look at me like that every day? when our two eyes meet, i want to stop singing and draw closer to whisper.  i feel I love you. oh, I love you. oh, I like you. do i know you? )

14. VEN AQUÍ de Los Bunkers ( si no tienes a nadie a quién quieras hablar por esta noche llámame. no te quedes quieto ni por un segundo tras mi puerta. ven aquí, no sabes cuánto te esperé. oh, las noches que no me dormí. no sabes qué es morir después. oh, de estar borracho y solo por ti. )

15. ONLY US de Laura Dreyfuss & Ben Platt ( i don't need you to sell me on reasons to want you. i don't need you to search for the proof that i should. you don't have to convince me. you don't have to be scared you're not enough 'cause what we've got going is good. i don't need more reminders of all that's been broken. i don't need you to fix what i'd rather forget. clear the slate and start over. try to quiet the noises in your head. we can't compete with all that, so what if it's us? what if it's us and only us and what came before won't count anymore or matter? can we try that? )

16.  TOURIST de Yuna ( i guess i'll hang around a little while, while you here. no, i don't feel like being somewhere else. i guess I wouldn't mind to fall in love a little bit. ouch, i think i fell a little more. hanging on to nothing, i wouldn't change a thing. stay where you are now. oh no i've said too much. got both feet in. my dear you fear too much, i'm just a little bit love ridden. i'm falling in to you )

17. CAN’T GET YOU OUT OF MY MIND de Dreamcatcher ( i can't get you out of my mind. it's getting too stronger my feelings for youI can't get you out of my mind. i'll try to be patient, don't want you to rush. just can't get you out of my mind. you say we're not together but why do you hesitate, oh why )

18. GOLD DUST de NCT 127 ( english translation / only then did i notice that the light in my hands was not a star, it was you. a road came to me in thе dark night and carved you a golden sea moon has risen when time seemed to have stopped. i thought of you immediately, could this be love? good night, my moonlight. come and embrace me deeply. lying on the ripples of the embroidered night sky, perhaps you don't know how pretty your light is )

19. TO YOU de Seventeen ( english translation /  in a swirling day you've given me a piece of happiness. you've placed all of the smiles in the world in my hands. so even if I run out of breath on a steep road, even when i lose my path during a cold day, we're still holding hands with warmth. to you, to you. the story i want to express to you, to you. i want to say more things like this. oh-oh, in a swirling wind if there's an eternal love, then you're that person )

20. PRETTY BOY de The Neighbourhood ( even if my heart stops beating you're the only thing i need, ooh, with me. even if the earth starts shaking, you're the only thing worth taking, ooh, with me. even if the sky's on fire. got you here, it's alright, oh, with me. as long as i got you i'm gonna be alright. as long as i got you, yeah. i'm not afraid to die, i'm alright. pretty boy, you did this with me, boy )

21. MILLION LITTLE REASONS de Oscar Lang ( there's a million little reasons for why i like your smile. there's a million little reasons for why i like your style, if I tried to write them down i'd run out of ink. there's a million little reasons for why i want you here. there's a million little reasons for why i want you near, if I tried to write them down i'd run out of ink )

22. LOOK AT ME de Damien Rice, CACUCA ( look into my eyes and you'll know that i truly love you. look into my eyes and you'll see that no one will harm you. look into my eyes and you'll feel that i will protect you. look into my eyes and you'll feel that you belong. look at me, look at me and little by little be sleepy. look at me, look at me and you'll see that the dreams will come. then close your tired eyes, so wet from crying. close them and you'll see that no one will hurt you at all. )

23. SNOW ON THE BEACH ft lana del rey by taylor swift ( i can't speak afraid to jinx it i don't even dare to wish it but your eyes are flying saucers from another planet, now i'm all for you like janet. can this be a real thing? can it? are we falling like snow at the beach? weird but fucking beautiful, flying in a dream, stars by the pocketful. you wanting me tonight feels impossible but it's coming down, no sound, it's all around like snow on the beach )

24. POPO (HOW DEEP IS YOUR LOVE?) de Kim Yerim (  you'll never know how much your voice attracts me, boy. it's exceptional. especially, when you're playing the song for me. i can't take my eyes away, can i walk with you or have a tea with you? your scent makes me feel like i live in paris can i love you? giving my all to you? you, yeah. get away from their unkindness but this time we should run together, you don't have to worry or hide, 'cause i get you with my heart. now you know how much your eyes make me wonder 'bout how deep is our love. especially, when you appreciate for me. i can't help loving you more )

25. SEPTEMBER COVER (EARTH, WIND & FIRE) de Taylor Swift ( do you remember the 28th night of september? love was changin' the minds of pretenders while chasin' the clouds away. our hearts were ringin' in the key that our souls were singin' as we danced in the night. remember how the stars stole the night away. ahh-ahh-ahh. hey, say that you remember. ai, ai, dancin' in september. ai, ai, never was a cloudy day ) PLUS * 26. VEN PORQUE TE NECESITO de Los Temerarios ( cuando te veré otra vez. mi vida cuando. paso las noches imposibles sin tu calor. cuando te veré otra vez, mi vida cuando. son las noches imposibles soñándote. ven, ven mi amor. ven a alegrar mi vida. ven, ven, mi amor )

#╰★ ﹙ playlist ﹚ #h-mireu #esta playlist existe desde hace siglos pero siempre me ganaba la flojeraaa #pero no #llegó el día pa' que veas jijiji #esta bien largaaa #pero es que era necesario #pues ya está actualizada *chef's kiss* #*se va a escuchar la playlist* #ahora sí a rolear xD prdón #also la última que rolón asies :'D

[laplupludetuvida]

Episosede 8 of house of the dragon in my house is...

My mom's boyfriend, seeing viserys: he looks like absolute shit!

My mom: and he is alive! Still alive! Why he doesn't die already so we can have the rebels and the killing and the blood and war!

The bf: what he has? Lepra?

No but like what is happening to viserys he is a rooting corpse

My mom's bf: why they don't kill him? Like... in a little help?

My mom: it would be treason

...

Why is this child crying. Dyana. Im scared. Ohh no

Alicent: what a beautiful name

My mom: for a dead woman.

Me: oh shit. Alicent i know you wont do it

And she didn't. In your face mom. Dyana sweetie run away from this shitshow

...

Aegon you disgusting little shit

Good slap, my mom snorted from the kitchen. What an absolute win

...

i cant tell luke and jace apart shit

Ooooh i got them, dark hair is luke AKA the youngest and brown hair is jace AKA oldest okokok

aEMOND

LOOK AT HIM GO

Oooh the velaryon have arrived bitches

...

rhAENYS

She is so hurt for laenor :(

Ehehehe rhaenys knows Whats up

My mom's bf: what just happened??

My mom: she is telling the princess that is a good idea but if tomorrow the hightowers do their best to fuck with her and win, rhaenyra will be fucking alone

...

My mom, forgetting what she said at the start of the episode: well can we kill the King already?

My mom's bf: they can last that long?

My mom: usually? In that time? No, but he is very stubborn.

Rhaenyra what are you saying? That you do not want the realm?

Viserys really said im going to sleep, good bye

Oh shit is he dead?

finALLY?

Oh he isn't, but it would have been hilarious

Viserys: i wanna eat with my family

My mom: bc after it im gonna die, not before i do another little fuck up. As a goodbye for everyone

...

Yeah you go vaemond

Ooooh RHAENYRA STOP everyone knows

Lets see what bullshit she will say

OH MAN VISERYS IS UP AND WALKING

My mom: he is so SLOW, can anyone give him a piggy walk to the poor old man

My mom bf: until he gets there...

My mom: THE EPISODE WILL END WHEN HE GETS THERE

you know i dont like viserys but man they could have dressed him with something lighter, poor man cant walk and you put him in THAT

My mom, when daemon helps viserys: shitty fucker started hating him now he is a Goodie. Why you doing that

Oh shit rhaenys, well, im still with you, Lady. You rock

Vaemond im so sorry for you

OOOOH VAEMOND HAS HAD ENOUGH

Yeah dont allow it vaemond

OOOH VAEMOND SPITTING FACTS

oOOH HE SAID IT >:D

OOH HE SAID THAT :0

NOOOOO VAEMOND

Daemond you bitch

Aemond what are you thinking you little scheming blondie

...

Not alicent being so religious... religius... religeus... RELIGIOSA, what the trauma does to a lady

Aegon you little shit shut up

My mom: viserys will drop dead in his potatos

ohhh he is

Oh god his face

Viserys: i love you all guys

My mom: except the hand of the King, who is very much a son of a bitch

Ohhh rhaenyra said sorry? Alicent and rhaenyra bien kind and nice to each other??

My mom: at least for tonight

Mi brother: they have to keep appearances

Aegon pls youre embarrasing me in front of my Team Black Mom

Jace: i have good memories of our childhood

The rest of the damn table:

Halaena BABYGIRL YOU DESERVE BETTER

My mom: and now, in such a little moment of family and laugh and dances and utter stupidity, viserys dies.

He didn't.

Thats it, viserys fucked off, its time for killing each other

OOOH AEMOND WHAT ARE YOU DOING

Aemond: they are like their father... strong

Yiss this man is a little shit, but a different kind to aegon

OHH RHAENYCENT MOMENT? AN HONEST MOMENT?

AAAAA

....

MYSERIA? MYSAIRA? MISEYRA? LA DAMA MISERIA

What are you plotting beautiful Lady?

....

Well no one can deny that alicent is trying her damn best with viserys.

Oooh the King is fucking it up one last time

Shit

oh nonono

Alicent's FACE

Oh shit is he going to kill himself? Oh he didn't

Episode ends

My mom's bf: is he dead?

My mom: we dont KNOW. UNTIL I SEE A DAMN FUNERAL HE ISN'T DEAD. and even then i will doubt it. He lasted this much seems pretty sus that he just dies now.

Once again, my mother is upset bc of the lack of murder and blood and war, she gives a 0/10

#house of the dragon spoilers #hotd #spoilers #alicent hightower #vaemond velaryon #aemond targaryen #rhaenyra targaryen #anti rhaenyra targaryen #just in case #viserys targaryen #rhaenys targaryen #anti viserys i targaryen #just in case too

[benjaminthewolf]

A Chef’s Snack (Vore Story)

OH BOY WHERE TO EVEN START ON THIS ONE-

So this story was started all the way back during the summer but was abandoned soon after. Only now have I decided to come back and finish it, and wow I cannot describe to you the amount of relief I feel now that this is finally done. Just uh…yeah, enjoy.

****

“ COME BACK HERE WITH THOSE BABY TAPIRS, DONITA!” Chris Kratt cried out to the villainous fashion designer Donita Donata between his sprinting pants through the dense, humid Brazilian rainforest as she continued to comfortably cruise along in her pink jet-scooter while hauling a bunch of captured Tapir young behind herself via posebeam.

“YEAH, THEY DON’T DESERVE TO BE MADE INTO FUR COATS FOR YOUR FASHION LINE! THEY DESERVE TO BE LIVING FREE AND IN THE WILD!” his brother Martin added on just a few seconds later.

To the Kratt brothers’ persistent, unwavering trademark environmental preaching, Donita could only scoff and roll her eyes.

“Dabio, would you be so kind as to take care of them for me please? I need to work on designing my new line of Tapir fur products; OOH LA LA! Isn’t it just exquisite?” she instructed her decidedly dim-witted and gullible, yet somehow considerably handsome, blonde, and buff minion laying leisurely upon the backseat of the scooter.

Dabio, adhering to Donita’s demands, instantly pulled another pose beam ball out of cartoon hammerspace and aimed it towards the pursuing brothers, letting out an obedient: “Yes, Donita!” as he did. The first couple shots were just barely able to be dodged by the chasing brothers, ducking and weaving away from the commanding control of the magenta energy beams as they did their very best to keep up the pace on the two longtime greed-filled eco-villains.

Unbeknownst to the two brothers, however, was that Donita’s current Tapir plight, was only but a diversion. A diversion that would allow the show’s other two main villains to infiltrate the Wild Kratts Tortuga completely unseen.

“Hehehehehe! Never saw this one coming, isn’t that right you Wild Ratts?” Zach Varmitech, a tall lean man with smooth, black shiny hair, as well as a goatee, a black sweater, green eyes, and pale gray skin slowly rose out of some nearby brush twiddling his fingers together in the way that cartoon villains do.

“Once we steal those o’ so precious tellurium crystals right out of that turtle ship from under your noses, it's bye bye to your beloved creature adventuring FOREVER! AHAHAHAHAHAHAHHA!”

“And better yet, Zach,” the villainous chef Gourmand piped up as he, too, rose up from the brush. “Once those crystals are ours, we’ll be able to kickstart OUR OWN creature adventuring with generous amounts of funding! Hehehehehehe!”

Gourmand wore a typical chef’s outfit, and had a rather large, muscular upper body and arms, as well as a shaved head, with a bulbous, pink nose protruding from the middle of his face that he considered to be his best feature. He had a metal quiver on his back that held a wide array of cooking utensils from spatulas to rolling pins.

Whilst Donita continued leading Chris and Martin left right, diagonal, and away from Tortuga HQ through the thick, humid, sight-inhibiting floor of the lively Brazilian Rainforest, Zach and Gourmand villainously tip-toed towards the Wild Kratt crew’s iconic turtle ship as silently as they could manage, before at last, they were lying within some bushes just a few feet away from the entrance ramp leading up to the unorthodox aircraft’s main door, prompting Gourmand to relay the plan to his heist partner one last time before said plan was put into action.

“Okay Zach, now ya see that shell plate panel thing that’s riiight above the leg on the right side?”

“Wha-of course I do! I’m not that incompitent!” Zach semi-agressively snapped back, causing Gourmand to roll his eyes.

“Well if you lift up that panel, there’s a secret entrance into the air ducts through there.” he did his best to continued on in the most professional tone he could muster.

“...because of course it's always gotta be the air ducts.” Zach grumbled to himself as he and Gourmand began to rise out of the bushes once more in order to sneak their way over to the Tourtuga’s right leg.

Once the two of them had made it, Zach immediately began trying to hop up onto the light green, metal limb in order to reach the described panel. When this didn’t work, he thought he might be able to scale it by climbing. Upon witnessing both of these attempts failing miserably, Gourmand smacked his palm on his forehead.

“Can you seriously not make it up there?” he sighed heavily in slight embarrassment to his heist partner as the struggling, weak man slowly slid back down the slick electronic leg upon yet another attempt to climb up it.

“Easy for you to say! I’m not the one with the grotesque, hairy gorilla arms here!” Zach instantly spat back in contempt, before realizing just how stupid he really was to have uttered that sentence but a nanosecond later, prompting him to frantically screech out: “WAIT NO NO NO NO NO NO NO WAIT!” in a desperate attempt to save his skinny ass from what was coming next. Unfortunately for him, the deed had already been done.

A, naturally, considerably pissed off and rage-blinded Gourmand bolted over to the foot of the metal limb, picking up Zach’s now completely and utterly limp-from-fear being by the back of his sweater’s neck, aggressively and non-mercifully twirling him around a few times in his grasp, before at last letting go and firmly flinging him up towards the panel with speed that would make a Cheetah jealous; but due to Gourmand having aimed a little too high, Zach splat face-first onto a panel a couple feet above instead, sliding down the smooth surface of the shell plates as such with that iconic cartoon squeaking noise, before at last sticking a landing. His legs dangled freely on either side of the turtle ship’s own, the impact causing him to let out a bit of a pained “Ow…” a few seconds later, leaving Gourmand from below filled to the absolute brim with nothing, zip, nada, but the sweet, sweet, sweet feeling of revenge.

“AHAHAHAHAH! JUST LIKE AN ANNOYING LITTLE FLY, YES, THAT’S WHAT YOU ARE! AHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!”

As Gourmand only continued to cry out his gutheral screeches of victory, Zack on top of the leg had finally recovered to the point where he was able to start fumbling his fingers around on the surface of the panel in an attempt to figure out how to open it. After a few seconds of aimlessly tapping around and praying something would happen, the metallic plate finally opened up via a subtle beep noise and a subsequent sliding down into an unseen compartment somewhere underneath, causing the thin, goth man observing the spectacle to give a small shrug, shake his head for a while, and at last call out a firm “HEY!” to the chortiling chef below in an attempt to reassert some level of control over the situation at large.

“Yeah that’s right ya fatty, stand still and be shocked! ‘Cause while you were down there gloating your supposed superiority, I actually managed to get this stuppid thing to open, so why don’t you make yourself at least somewhat useful and get inside already?”

Gourmand almost instantly screeched to a halt. “I’m sorry…what did you just say to me, now?” he slowly scowled out, naturally not very fond of having his situational authority challenged. Or being called a fatty.

“I SAID GET A MOVE ON YA BIG FAT LUG, OR HOW ELSE ARE WE GONNA STEAL THOSE CRYSTALS?” Zack’s voice echoed out from inside the Wild Kratts’ ship as the lean, gray man carefully clambered his way inside.

Despite all his past attempts to make sure that this mission happened the other way round in terms o the division of power, Gourmand was now left with absolutely nothing else he could do except silently follow behind, letting out a slight *pffft* noise, narrowing his eyes and sticking out his tongue in the direction Zack had just been, before at last making his way over to the Tortuga’s leg, so he may climb up its length, and finally make his way inside.

****

“NNNNRGH-STUPID-AAAA!” Gourmand growled out in irritation due to having gotten somewhat stuck in the tortuga’s ventilation system on the way into its chambers. A sudden pop noise could be heard echoing through the air, followed promptly by a great thud, an “OOF!” and finally, a low-pitched “Ungh…”

“Well…” the former gourmet chef mumbled to himself while gazing rather transfixatedly around the room. “We’re here.”

Brushing himself off as he peeled his poor, flattened being off the ground, Zack could only murmur a few somewhat agreeing: “Yeah, yeah, whatever” s as he, too, surveyed the area around them.

The two of them had ended up inside the invention storage room, surrounded in full by all the technological bits and bobs that the Wild Kratts crew would utilize on each of their creature inventions. Everything from the iconic miniaturizer to the lesser known buzz bikes were there.

As none of these inventions were the planned targets of the two villains, however, both of them were rather quick to internally dismiss them all as useful to the mission as they attempted to remember what room the tellurium crystals they were actually after were even located in in the first place.

“I…can’t seem to remember, was it the engine room?” Zack calmly asked himself out loud as Gourmand right behind him only rolled his eyes.

“Didn’t Donita tell you this before we started the mission?” he piped up suddenly at the sight of Zack not remembering the room.

“Tell YOU?” The thin, gray man almost immediately snapped back while scoffing in disgust. “She told the both of us! Don’t you try to weasel yourself out of responsibility this time, big nose!”

It was right in that moment, right in that one, singular moment, when Gourmand’s being snapped. Clenching his teeth aggressively whilst taking one step forward, the now positively fuming man could only let out a hushed: “I’m sorry, what did you say about my nose?” while maintaining rather tight eye contact with his soon to be victim as such, provided Zack refused to apologize right then and there of course. Making fun of his weight was one thing. Making fun of his arms was another thing. But making fun of his nose? His beloved king sized schnoz? Nuh-uh. That. THAT. Crossed a line.

“YEAH YOU HEARD ME YOU PATHETIC CHUBBY NOSED CHEF! YOU DON’T EVEN HAVE A REAL LICENSE! AT LEAST I HAVE A LEGITIMATE INVENTOR’S LICENSE, YOU-”

Silence. All that rang throughout the Tortuga HQ’s invention storage room in those next few seconds, was, quite simply, only silence.

****

“Urrrgh… *cough cough* ugh…where am I?” a considerably groggy Zack, who couldn’t remember at first how he had gotten knocked out in the first place, wheezed out while gingerly lifting his head off the floor. The first thing he was able to pick up was the color white upon the ground. While this did indeed confirm to him that he hadn’t been killed by whatever force had previously knocked him unconscious, it still left him with far, far more questions than answers.

Attempting to clear his vision as he made out many large, blurry, multi-colored shapes from his slowly adjusting field of view, Zack’s eyes swiftly snapped onto what was currently the biggest object he could see, a largely tan one with a bit more white around it to boot. The poor, gray man would have to wait a little while for his brain to finish booting back up before he was able to place an identity on what the thing was, but luckily for him, the moment this task was accomplished, the rest of his previously waking body practically insta-reset itself in a jolt as the terrified, skinny man frantically scrambled to his feet.

“G-GOURMAND!” was all he was able to sputter out as the now gigantic chef before him gave a single hearty laugh.

“YES THAT’S RIGHT YA PUNY, FRAIL LITTLE COCKROACH! TOOK YA LONG ENOUGH TO ESCAPE FROM DREAMLAND, HUH? DIDN’T IT?”

Zack was absolutely lost for words. Not because of anything Gourmand was saying to him, but because he still had absolutely no clue how he had gotten so small in the first place. It wasn’t until he began to meticulously piece all his observations together, however, did he finally understand. The white-gray bottom, the circular shape, the fact he was shrunk…all of it could only point towards one thing…

“LOOKS LIKE THIS DARNED MINIATURIZER CAME OF SOME USE FOR ME AFTER ALL, HEHEHE!” Gourmand only continued on, hurling sentence after sentence of overjoyed, catharsis inducing insults at his tiny fellow villain, as Zack standing on the center of the invention was only able to stand still and shudder.

“...wh-what’s going to happen to me now?” Zack slowly stammered out in pure, undistilled horror as the looming giant before him formed a cheeky grin upon his face.

“WHAT’S GONNA HAPPEN TO YA? WHAT’S GONNA HAPPEN TO YA? THINK ABOUT IT, ZACK!” Gourmand practically howled out at the miniaturized man below as the delightful jittering across his body only grew. “Why…I am a chef, Zack.” Gourmand began to explain before swiftly reaching out an arm and aggressively clenching his grasp around the form of the poor, unresisting tiny as such, before getting up to his full height and raising his fist to the sky. “Which would, naturally, make you……MY DINNER!”

And just like that, Gourmand’s fist opened up, causing Zack to plummet unrelentingly into the gaping, cavernous maw that awaited him below. The larger man’s hot breath brushed upon his skin as he breached the barrier of the lips, causing Gourmand to snap shut his jaws but a mere second later, trapping poor Zack inside as a result.

Zack had become so mentally numb at this point that he didn’t even fight back at all as the slick, smooth tongue gently slid its way out underneath him and began to douse him thoroughly with its warm, sticky saliva, starting, of course, with his head. The sleek, pink muscle trailed across the shrunken man’s hair and face, coating it nicely in a thin layer of wetness, before tracing itself around the man’s middle, stopping periodically so it may savor the taste upon its buds for but a few moments.

Gourmand could not help but drool a little as he rigorously examined the flavor. Zack tasted a bit like a delicious Oreo cookie, his dark black hair and clothes acting as the cookie’s exterior, while his gray-ish skin exuded the taste of the creamy white stuff within. The considerably larger chef on the outside delicately soaked in the tingling upon his tongue as he practically wrapped up poor Zack in a squishy blanket of flesh before sensually swishing him between his cheeks, warming and wetting the poor man even further with each and every single second gone by.

Eventually, though, it was time for Zack to be delivered down to his ultimate destination. Thus, carefully unwrapping his tongue from his prey, Gourmand immediately flung the poor, unresponsive man all the way towards the back of his throat, the practically frozen man within just barely avoiding scraping his head against the rough ridges at the roof of the maw, and leaving him hanging head-first above the gullet as soon as he landed, able as such to stare all the way down into its deep, squelching confies of Gourmand’s throat, the plump, dangling uvula swinging freely above his head all the while.

Gourmand was just about ready to gulp, thus squeezing Zack into his esophagus and sending him plummeting down towards his stomach, before, for the second time this hour, his body instantly froze.

Zack on the inside had no way of knowing what was going on. In his mind, Gourmand was only stalling the swallow as a method of teasing him, going “Haha, I have the ability to send you into your doom at any time I like, but I choose to suspend the moment, if only for my pleasure!”

Quite unfortunately for the larger man on the outside, however, that was not to be the case. Aviva, Koki, and Jimmy, who had only now returned to the Tortuga, honestly would’ve just chalked it up as a gulp of fear if they had really noticed it, but ultimately, it really didn’t matter. All Gourmand was able to sense in those next few moments were the blurry forms of the rapidly dissipating world and people around him as he frantically dashed for the exit, taking the door closest to him that the three members of the Wild Kratts crew weren’t blocking the way of.

Of course, Zack on the inside still had no idea that what had previously been his and Gourmand’s mission was interrupted. All he was able to pick up as the pink, squishy muscles of the throat continuously squeezed him on down, was the distant, yet rapidly growing heartbeat (in both speed and intensity of course, not like Zack was able to tell,) that boomed and thumped away inside the larger man’s chest.

By the time that the only thing separating Zack from Gourmand’s heart was a thin layer of slick, smooth muscle and saliva, the pounding was practically echoing all around him as his ears worked rapidly to make sense of all the intense audible waves being delivered into them, causing poor Zack within to become numb to the sounds as well after a while, leaving him thus unable to tell when he was to be squelched through the lower esophageal sphincter and make a splash landing into the giant chef’s stomach as a result. Of course, he still had the option to just, well, look down, but in his current state of mind, such a logical thought was practically impossible to be formed, and due to all this, once Zack could feel his feet entering out into a considerably wider area, he knew his journey was just about done.

Gourmand, meanwhile, only seemed to be getting started. Yes, he had managed to get out of the Tortuga just fine at this point, much to the combined confusion of emotions that was relief and dismay of the Wild Kratts crew, but since he had managed to get through that hurdle…now what? He had made it here via Donita’s jet, not his truck, and frankly, he had absolutely no idea where that thing was parked at the moment, so for now, his only option was to run. Internally cursing himself for not knowing where a gigantic, pink jet was located in the middle of a dense, green jungle, Gourmand eventually decided to just dive headfirst into the nearest hole in the ground he saw, and pray continuously that no animal that he couldn’t beat in a fight was inside. Not even a second after he had done this, however, did he sense a slight sloshing motion coming from within his guts. Reasoning it must’ve been from Zack landing inside his stomach, Gourmand let out a sigh. Then he began to think. And think…and…well…eventually, Gourmand had an epiphany.

Yes, the mission failed. Yes, he didn’t have the crystals. Yes, Donita was probably going to hate him for months upon months upon months after this…but, really…in the moment, to Gourmand, none of that mattered. None at all. All that did matter was the fact that right now, the infamous Zack Barnitack, the fellow villain who had just attempted to override his power, was trapped helplessly inside his guts, only able to squirm and shiver around as any attempts to escape were simply all in vain. Of course, due to how out of it he was right now, Zack didn’t exactly have it in him to start resisting, but nonetheless, the point still stood. Winning the war could wait, because right now, the battle was Gourmand’s.

Meanwhile, back on the inside of the victorious chef’s guts, Zack had all but curled into a fetal position against the walls, and was trying his very, very, very best not to shed a tear. He had absolutely no idea why the splashing, rippling pool around him wasn’t painful in nature, but really, that didn’t matter. After humiliation like this, after all, Zack might have even preferred being dead, but regardless, right now, he was alive, and shivering helplessly inside the warm, gurgling chamber that was Gourmand’s stomach. That was his reality, and for the time being, he was just going to have to accept it, in order to not go insane.

The thick, goopy walls churned and squeezed around him as the ambient white noise let out a series of high-pitched gurgles and rumbles, followed after a while by a much lower growl. As the ever-present, enveloping heat continued to soak itself into his skin, and the harmless, liquid pools gently sloshed and swished around him, Zack soon found himself pushing his head and upper body deep into the walls of the stomach, if only so he may make use of their rather cushiony nature, and escape back into a pleasant land of dreams.

Sniffling slightly from the entirety of the situation at hand, it finally began to settle within Zack that if he buckled under pressure like this so easily, handling those situations as a leader was well outside his capabilities.

Of course, all he had been after in the first place was the power, but really, what use was any of that if he didn’t know how to use it? Merely permitting these questions to start to settle in, Zack slowly closed his eyes, as he snuggled up against the walls of the giant villainous chef, until at last, he began to drift asleep.

Allowing his tongue to loll out of his mouth as he gently pat over his guts (the moment he had re-angled himself into a comfortable-ish position inside of the rather tight hole, of course), Gourmand nodded his head, as a soft bout of his iconic, evil laughter leisurely escaped from his throat.

Suddenly feeling something else attempting to escape his throat, Gourmand did have a slight moment of panic where he thought that Zack might have found a way to get hurled back up, but as soon as the deep, echoing force that was a gigantic belch graced the ears of the rather satisfied chef, he rather quickly calmed down with a slight shudder of delight, allowing the reality of the situation to tingle its way up his spine.

Patting over his audibly growling stomach a few times as it tirelessly worked away at all the nutrient slush therein (excepting Zack of course, though Gourmand also had no idea why that was the case, not like it mattered,) Gourmand proceeded to stretch his arms outwards (due to the nature of the tunnel he couldn’t really do so vertically) as a great yawn was released into the area, causing him to gently smack his lips a few times after it had finished.

Over the next few minutes, after having closed his eyes, Gourmand would slowly drift asleep himself, whilst keeping one hand over his guts, absolutely nothing, zip, nada, but wondrous bouts of euphoria coursing through his veins. For right now, he had managed to claim the victory over the one who dared to challenge him, and to Gourmand, in that moment, absolutely nothing, NOTHING. Else mattered.

#soft vore #safe vore #male pred #male prey #male predador #m/m vore #male vore #gt vore #g/t vore #vore story #vore stories #vore writing #v.ore #v/ore #v0re #v0r3 #vor3 #unwilling prey #unwilling vore #human pred #human prey #human vore #Old now marked mature

[junkissed]

for the made up fic title thing: what about…. “such haunted halls we walk” 👀

or if you want something silly: “i put the ‘ass’ in ‘astrophysics’” ddssfhhgdhjfh

HELPMNKJDFSN 😭 i'll put this under a cut bc both of them got kinda long hehe

also fair warning the first one is soo sad pure angst there is not a hint of happiness skdgjfs skip to the second divider if you don't want to read it

send me a title and i'll tell you what i would write for it!

ooh i really like the first one!! i'm thinking a historical au. some kind of period piece a la jane austen featuring vernon as mr. darcy and it's super angsty, kinda like a cautionary tale about life and love and loss. it's told in a series of flashbacks as he walks down a hallway in a house; even though it's daytime outside, the curtains are drawn and it's just dark and dreary, reflecting his mood as he looks at each portrait hung on the wall and thinks about the memories that should be good and happy, but they're tainted as he looks back on them and remembers all the bad things that came afterwards instead. i'm thinking at the very end there's a reveal that's like, you ended up parting ways, not for some big, dramatic reason, but you just fell out of love with him and you didn't want him to feel like his love for you wasn't reciprocated and that he deserved someone who would give back to him all the love he has to give. it was such a clean break that he shouldn't have any reason to be so melancholy (it's not like you cheated on him or ran away with his brother), but it's such an unsatisfying end that he almost wishes you'd had a huge argument and blown up at him; he wishes he would have some reason to be mad at you, to hate you, but you did nothing wrong but give him a chance to experience what it feels like to be loved, because that's something you knew you wouldn't be able give him. so like a theme throughout this one is that in each painting and each memory he looks back on, he's remembering it and wondering when exactly you stopped loving him and why didn't he realize it sooner. ooh actually adding on, maybe he used to be a semi-successful painter and people would hire him to paint their portraits, but after you left he hasn't been able to pick up a brush since, and everything he tries to create comes out dark and tangled and choppy, nothing like the beautiful, bright, joyful paintings he used to make. so not only does he lose someone who brought love and joy into his life, he lost the ability to create art that captures that love and joy. so for the rest of his days all he can do is walk that hallway, staring at the portraits that remind him of better days and wishing he would've known some way to make you love him back.

(tagging @duhnova for this one i want u to suffer cheol thots) okay ass-trophysics is about economics major seungcheol who has to fulfill his lab credits and of course he waited until the last possible second and every other class was waitlisted so the only class available is an analytical physics class. by some miracle the prerequisites for that class are ones he's already taken for his degree and his schedule lines up perfectly for him to take this class. reader is a physics major or something so this class is required for them. you show up bright and early on the first day of the semester and you're getting out your notebook and laptop and stuff and in walks this insanely built frat-looking dude with the fattest juiciest ass you've ever seen in your entire goddamn life, and he plops down in the seat next to you and introduces himself like he isn't the most gorgeous man you've ever seen walk into a math classroom. and the semester goes on and you kinda become friends but not really friends more like classroom friends yk? and you know cheol is smart as hell but for some reason he just doesn't understand this one concept and it sucks because the entire course is pretty much built around understanding this concept. and so you try to help him pass the class and you start becoming closer, and maybe you have a crush on him but you really definitely don't btw. later maybe there's an angsty run-in with an ex girlfriend who makes all these crazy threats and tells you to stay away from him because she knows he'll come back to her, he always does, and you're like "girl i'm literally just helping him learn physics wtf do you want from me please" and she's like "i know what you're REALLY doing... back off" and so you're like. jesus okay fine whatever. so you start making excuses for not being able to help him on the weekends and evenings and days off anymore and he gets pouty and sulky like :( my bffp (best friend from physics) what did i do? and one day he's had enough and he finally manages to corner you at your favorite place to eat on campus and he's like. tell me why you're avoiding me. and you're like "well tell your dumbass girlfriend to stop sending me death threats and i'll help you with your hw again" and he's like "??? what girlfriend i haven't dated anyone since i met you at the beginning of the semester" and so you describe her and cheol lets out the biggest longest most aggravated sigh and he explains that she is his ex but she's literally insane and he has no intention of getting back with her ever and then more drama etc etc but then FINALLY they get things figured out, there's a big moment where he passes his final and you go to hug him but he goes in to kiss you and it's 🧍‍♀️ Awkward and he gets all shy and pouty again and your face is so damn hot and you're like "why did you just try to kiss me" and he has this whole speech about how he really appreciated your help over the semester but he was hoping you would go out with him because he thinks you're really smart and pretty and he just goes on and on about what he likes about you and you're just standing there shocked thinking. this man with the ass of a kardashian is professing his love to me in the middle of a starbucks and a barista is definitely giving me the side eye but oh my god yeah i kinda really do wanna kiss him and then 🫶 kissing happy ending etc etc

#🌃 : june.writes #🌠 : ask games #savventeen #im sorry the vernon one is so angsty PLS i dont know where that came from but i love the concept of an austen vernon #i would never write it bc i cannot do angst ksjdhfsj but i feel like it would be fun to play around with perspective and- #-narration and motifs and the symbolism of color and things like that yk? #also for cheol im an english major skhdgsh i hope its not obvious i have zero understanding of math and science 💀 #fun fact ! the bffp thing is a real thing my high school physics teacher used to tell us 😭 mr. berg i miss u dearly #also also if u would like an emoji just lmk!! i see u around occasionally <3 hi i'm june btw

[theowlhousesucks]

Barring the facial features thing, I feel like Luz just doesn’t have a strong feeling of an Afro-Latina identity. Like, we have no clue about her dad, but it seems to be the consensus that her mom is an immigrant(don’t remember if it was every canonically confirmed either behind the scenes or onscreen) but it just feels like Luz isn’t a second-generation immigrant at times.

Like, no Luz trying to recreate a Dominican comfort food, or talking little tidbits about her mom and home life that are laced with Dominican culture, and I feel like her slipping into Spanish has occurred less frequently as time goes on. Yesterday’s lie feels like the first time we really got to see any form of it, and that is like really small(the food Camilla was going to cook, Spanish speaking, and the whole la chancla thing, which seems to be a bit divisive in if it’s inclusion was good rep or just adding to stereotypes). It feels like her cultural identity overall is kinda steamrolled, and it doesn’t help that the fandom is adamant(especially during previous hiatuses) on her abandoning the Human Realm and her mother for Amity and the boiling isles and basically forgoing all human culture for boiling isles culture

I’m not saying Luz has to be expositing her cultural identity at every second, but considering the whole ‘First queer Afro-Latina protag rep!’ thing and the whole representation thing the show has going on, it feels absent in showing Luz as an Afro-Latina teenager, growing up in an Dominican immigrant household, especially when the world she’s in is just a bunch of Medieval European imagery with some steampunk slapped on top with the wholly original concept of ‘ooh it’s like our world but things have eyeballs and teeth on it and they bite’

Another thing to note! Luz is definitely better on the latina side of her afro-latina identity, but it's still not perfect. I'm not a spanish speaker, so I'm only going off of what I've read from those who do speak it, but I've heard the regional dialect is all off. Luz's spanish apparently isn't consistent with what one would expect from a Dominican family. Again, not my specific place to speak on it, but I wanna augment the complaints of those who deserve to have their culture acknowledged and celebrated by a show that claims to so badly want to represent them.

#luz noceda

[stressghoul]

For all the theories and anyone who thinks about them, I just want to mention one thing (because I was slow to process as well): Whiskey a Go Go is in LA, meanwhile the "Abbey" is, from more or less canon sources, in Linköping.

It is comical to think that Seester was late to the Ritual because she still had to catch an hour-long flight to get to LA, but we know that's unrealistic. She was therefore in a US Church or Abbey, all mad and stressed for some reason before going to the Ritual (but for what happened to happen, it would have been better to have stayed at home, dear Seester. I am free, though. That man doesn't deserves you!)

Doesn't add much to the theories, but I wanted to share with you guys.

– π

ooh this so defs something that didn’t cross my mind! ty anon :))

#stressghoul askbox #ghost #the band ghost #moac #mary on a cross

[atmymercy]

Hello darling! I'd love to participate in your giveaway if possible! I'd ask for question number 3: will you finally get your beau?🥰. Thank you so much 🤍

hello hermit! aww darling? me! you are such a darling! i'm so glad you're here! and ooh with a question about a beau! ooh la la! let's see!

for you & #3, i got the 5 of cups, 10 of swords & 5 of swords.

ooh la la... yikes. unfortunately, this is not the valentine's day where you get the beau. your spirit guides are saying not this time and they know that absolutely fucking sucks and yes you can mope about it! whatever helps you get over this old beau, your spirit guides want you to do it! you deserve to feel better so make sure to treat yourself that day and yes you can ruminate for a bit and maybe even burn a letter or two! but then it's time to move on from this faux beau! nope! no arguing your spirit guides are saying! we are moving on now and onto better things! trust them when they are saying they are going to find you something better! flowers by miley cyrus started to play too! so yep! time to cry it out and then move on! we got better coming for you! don't worry about old trash. because yes your spirit guides will run off this old beau if they to! lol oh geez they don't kid around with you! lol

hope you enjoyed it! please give feedback or buy me a coffee when you can! if you want to explore this further, please consider a private read as well. also thank you for sharing with me!♡

love & light!

-tea

as always, my rules & info are in my pinned post if you're interested in a reading of your own!

#tea tarot reading #tarot reading #tarot witch #tarot reader #tarot read #tarot #tarot cards #tarotcommunity #free tarot #i love tarot #thehermitqueen

[therealeagal]

Joker: Folie a Deux (trailer)

RA RA AH AH AH

ROMA ROH MA MA

GAGA OOH LA LA

Irony works on multiple levels. Sometimes if-then doesn't suffice. It's hard to explain.

Picture of a man. A tragic anti-hero really. So fully justified was he in killing his bullies. They got what they fucking deserved. But SOCIETY couldn't handle it!

So our hero finds himself in the clutches of Gotham's very own Arkham Asylum. But all is not lost, because he finds the love of his life, one Harleen Quinzel, also trapped by the wicked whims of the SOCIETY that they definitely both live in. So begins their whirlwind romance that we should definitely see as heartwarming because they are SOCIETY's true victims, you see. Don't let the fact that Harley is played by Lady Gaga fool you. It's not a bad romance at all. It's a great romance.

THIS Joker and THIS Harley are completely in love. Because THIS Joker and THIS Harley live in a SOCIETY. Their love is ideal. #RelationshipGoals

I WANT YOUR LOVE AND I WANT YOUR REVENGE UPON SOCIETY

YOU AND ME COULD WRITE A GREAT ROMANCE.

It does have a certain ring to it, doesn't it?

What the world needs now is love, sweet love. It's the only thing that there's just too little of. Joker: Folie a Deux is set for release on October 4th of this year. Once again I am debating the pros and cons of watching it.

On the one hand, I'm always right, so do I really need to see it for you to know that my description is correct? On the other hand, is a review of any substance if the reviewer hasn't read it. I never read Mein Kampf, but I could probably hazard a guess that it's not about puppy dog kisses and cotton candy dreams.

Somewhat surprisingly, no one got pissy at me when I criticized the first movie. Well, not here on tumblr anyway. Over on Twitch, I've got a sporadically ongoing argument with some folks over whether Jared Leto and Cameron...what was his name? I think it was like, Monaghan or some shit...the guy from Gotham. Anyway, whether those two were better Jokers than Joaquin Phoenix. Spoilers: I argue on the side of "They were".

And I mean, not to knock on Joaquin's door personally. Actors, by and large, work with the roles they're given. You can't dunk on them just because they were in a bad movie. Well, you can. It's literally possible. But you probably shouldn't. Depends on the movie, I guess...

But just for old times sake, if you find my assessment to be mistaken in any way - if you, in fact, consider Joaquin Phoenix's Joker to be the greatest movie ever made and you greatly anticipate falling asleep masturbating to Joker: Folie a Deux every night - I want you to very strongly consider not @-ing me about it, bro.

Please and thank you. :)

P.S. I brought back the masturbation joke! And it's still funny! When you got it you got it.

Cheers!

#joker #the joker #joaphojo #joaphojo part 2 #joker folie a deux #lady gaga #joaquin phoenix #harley quinn

[bipherpol]

Damn it, Kaku! Live your dream! We get it, but please! Nami is all of us when it comes to that, honestly. It's such a hilarious concept to think about! Secretaries are very underappreciated, so Jabra absolutely earned and deserved that kick. At least Kalifa was appreciated in Galley-La! All of these songs are good, including the ones in the tags! I remembered the two non-foreign songs that were in the eaten ask, so here you go! "How's It Going to Be" and "Never Let You Go" by Third Eye Blind.

kaku will absolutely get to live his dream whether or not he decides he wants to. as far as the rest of them are concerned, kaku's the baby brother and therefore they will do everything up to and including murder, treason and (if necessary) mild world domination to make it happen. (kaku is the youngest. he is mildly annoyed by this fact) (lucci gets to be the older sibling with him, it's great esp whenever he starts bickering with robin again.)

galley-la collectively knew better as soon as kalifa showed up because the two weird overly competent new guys immediately treated her with respect and as if she was mildly terrifying and figured they probably had the right of it. the fact that the pigeon was telling/threatening them to respect her also helped. (fun fact: to this day, no one outside of lucci and hattori actually know whether the fuck hattori just. somehow learned how to talk on his own or if he was just intelligent enough to suffice as lucci's ventriloquist dummy. current bets are on the former.)

ooh third eye blind! god talk about a band of my childhood. i love those songs, too.

i've got "laying me low" by david cook and (i can't believe i did not think of this one before) "russian roulette" by rihanna

#sibling verse #jabra did very much deserve the kick and also very very much regretted his joke immediately