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umbrellagoblin · 1 year

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Transmutatio Infernalis

Hey there! Long time no see!

Sorry about my absence for the past like, two months. School and work both have been hell. However, I finally had some time during the winter break to sit down and write again, so here's something I had in the works for a while! For @kwillow as always.

After what felt like an eternity of cruel torment, it appears Comte DeLuxe's story comes to a bitter end... Or, perhaps, there is a new beginning for both him AND his tormentor! Be wary, though, it involves lots of magic and even potentially some GAY content (gasp)!

// CW: Mental and Physical Anguish, Torture, Bloodletting, Despair, Satanic Imagery, Death.

Cold. It’s so cold this time around. Usually in October, this far south, the sun shines and shimmers even way during the month’s end. Yet, the gloomy, gray sky with moist, chiseling snow dropped heavier than shackles on a prisoner’s ankles. The harsh, rocky terrain did not go easy on a prisoner’s gilded hooves, either, as the captive himself stumbled and limped through snow-capped rocks and roots of olive trees. And as he trudged through torturous, slippery soil and gravel, the prisoner chuffed and moaned through the gilded muzzle, bestowed upon him akin to a crown - encrusted with runes for “protection,” no doubt. There is nothing but a while gown marked in runes of sangue on the prisoner - so the cold shudders eventually get to him, and so he falls again.

The Hierophant posing as the Good Shepherd leads his Sacrificial Lamb to slaughter… Or worse.

It happened on the outskirts of a boreal desert. Comte DeLuxe was deceived and pushed into the heart of Killinger territory. Back in the olden days, Mortimer’s family served as advisors to the Basileus, so they were granted a tiny, yet most privileged estate - quite close to the Holy Mount, no less. One really could wonder how such a noble bloodline got lost in foul sorcery and hedonism, but that’s too big a rabbit hole for anyone to explore. Even the Killinger heir, himself. But that’s besides the point! What matters is - the old Killinger estate is quite nearby, abandoned and ripe with energy for Mortimer’s ritual to commence.

Ambroys’s leash clicked and clanked against the muzzle as he was shoved and tugged on it by Mortimer’s gloved hand. “Come on then, your gait is lacking!” he grumbled, impatiently yet encouragingly. The wizard-doctor’s hide-booted paws hurried atop a rolling hill. Perhaps he’s gone too fast - there’s a muffled “Oomf!” following suit. Oh Heavens, another bruise on the old count’s kneecap. All the more disappointment is added to the fat cat’s pouting face. Mortimer slowly turned around and gazed down upon Ambroys, with utmost contempt in his eyes. Ambroys, in turn, didn’t dare look up, shuddering and sniffling like a stray dog.

“…You were right. I should have left some more spirit in you,” Mortimer said then, “You’re too weak to run, to walk, or even curse me. What a waste.”

Something within Ambroys still boiled and threatened to pour over. His pride, his poor, insulted pride got him back on his feet in an instant. The potion’s effects are wearing off. His halo flickers and tries to form. The glorious, angelic donkey prepares to use his horn to pierce the wizard’s heart, and finally free himself of bondage with sheer strength and passion!

…Yet all he gets in turn is an awkward stumble forth. The fat cat’s leash be damned! And, to add more injury to insult, Mortimer suddenly bent up, then down. His leg was raised, and the heel of his boot urged Ambroys to fall further. Harder. Painfully so. The joints popped on that aging noble-pony, and a muffled, pained yowl soon followed. The warlock ground the hard iron heel into his face, then went back to clacking along the rocks with speed Ambroys could never hope to catch up with.

“Told you,” he said, “You’re pathetic, Your Grace. Nothing screams of helplessness more than your raging and bickering. And yet, it entertains me so… Keep walking, lest you want me to geld you before my lords and saviors.”

And Ambroys followed. Chuffing, Comte DeLuxe was nearly brought to tears with the pain in his guts and on his face, his shackled wrists reached up to wipe the salty wet and soot off the latter. Thus, the stumbling continued at an increased pace, with increased proneness to frostbite and injury. This was no spot to collapse again. And so, Ambroys no longer walks out of fear or out of pride - he walks out of sheer spite for the second wizard that screwed his life over.

Those pesky wizards… How did he even get here? What WAS the cause of such a tragic downfall? Hyden. It must be Hyden’s game all over again, the pony thought, grumbled, professed. Yet, there isn’t a Hyden to be seen around here, so he refuses to acknowledge Mortimer’s power over him - even after several months of mocking captivity in one’s own home. It was time to continue the path “home”, however. No room for thought. The unicorn stumbled forth, and, at last - the two found a clearing on the steep cliff they climbed, below which there was nothing but cold, dark saltwater.

A house stood on that cliff, too. An old, rugged manor of brick and mortar - so little wood it almost felt like a cave, both within and without. Broken columns surrounded the outer courtyard, while a tiny stone chapel was juxtaposed to the abandoned manor. However, the first Killinger estate isn’t as abandoned as it would seem upon first glance: Eight servants in all-black, save for their neckerchiefs, slowly come out through the front door’s dark portal. All carried a dagger of silver and a big torch of sweet sage. Once their hoods of sangue and soot were lowered down, it’s clear to Ambroys that most of them are dogs. The bigger ones are twice Mortimer’s size, and yet they wordlessly follow his gestures and directions. Frightening beasts, yet still servile to the core… Disgusting.

Ambroys’s muzzle and shackles were, at last, undone. Truth be told, they were there only as ballast and cheap tools of Mortimer’s entertainment. There was no need to restrain the once-shimmering, haughty unicorn. His weak state was going to be his downfall - and he wouldn’t run a hundred meters even if he put his mind to it. Mortimer also bestowed the honor upon himself to do this, so that he could wrap his grabby paws around Ambroys’s malnourished waist and snatch him by it. How sweet of him.

Everything was prepared for the ritual. Way in advance. There are three magical circles forming a target around the rotund, heavy altar of Roman concrete. Some evidently tried to turn it into a fountain of sorts, but failed miserably at doing so. Within the magical circles, there were plenty of runes and symbols etched. Inscriptions in old tongues, scriptures going from left to right and right to left, akin to snakes eating their own tail. And by each column, there was a mark - the four cardinal directions, and the adjacent directions with them. Trails for liquid were placed right where the servants stood, and they led directly to the multiple circles etched into stone.

Now, this was a sight as grim as any. Still - Ambroys tried to be courageous in the face of the enemy… And he failed at it miserably:

“I ah, I still haven’t figured out why you’re so obsessed with me, Witch,” he finally spoke, panting yet smirking.

Mortimer stopped in his tracks. The whole preparation process stopped, in fact. The fat cat’s ears flickered as his eyes trailed down to gaze upon the grinning prey. “Really? Give me a rundown of ideas, then,” The “Witch” inquired, as the celestial bastard started chortling.

Ambroys laughed in Mortimer’s face, perhaps out of fear and desperation. The frail, drained unicorn’s grin missed a tooth or two, but it was still there, mocking the warlock’s efforts at breaking him down. Because of one reason he states after the fit ends:

“Heheh! Heh… Well it could be anything with you, really! Spirit of competition? Some sick need for validation? Ph- Perhaps some, some utterly perverse sexual gratification out of making me suffer?!”

A confounded silence followed. Mortimer’s face was unimpressed with such blatant accusations. Yet, this is all Ambroys had. Perhaps embarrassing him in front of his servants was the only way of getting back at him, now that the warlock’s achieved nigh absolute power over the celestial halfblood.

“…Interesting. But what makes you think about that last bit, though?” Mortimer inquired some more, moving in closer and leaning over the prostrated unicorn.

“You make it obvious with your flamboyance and gests, you idiot,” Ambroys snarled in turn.

“Oh, is that so? If that would of been the case, dear Ambroys, it wouldn’t be wrong of me to claim you’re the most decadent, frilly little fruit for all Uranians wherever you go,” Morty replied then, “Have you seen the way you dress? Gest? Speak? Compared to you, Amby, I am but a humble romantic in search of a little fun~”

“So you DO admit you’re a homosexual?! I knew it!” Ambroys got even more accusatory, now, and pointed his lithe finger at Mortimer looming above. The cat, on the other hand, rolled his eyes and gently pushed the hand away.

After a long, winded sigh - Mortimer felt like his actions deserved an explanation. It’s something akin to a confession during the saint’s last supper: “…Why yes. You’re right. I am gay, Ambroys. But I’m certainly not gay for you. And I’ve no need for gratification - you serve no purpose but being my current target and sacrifice, and, well... Ahem. Because, while you might have some attractive qualities, and a rich, vapid taste in garments - it’s not what I am after. For me, you’re nothing but a means to an end. A tool I have used to get a cushy resting place for a month, and will use to finally bring a good friend of mine here. The last droplets of your blood, your sweat, your tears, your everything are what I’m after. Nothing more, and nothing less.”

“But… What of the torment? What of the passion you have demonstrated? Wh- What about your stupid, disgusting means of seeking MY approval through “healing” me?! What was all that for?!” Ambroys yelled, rising back to his hooves and shaking his fists.

Now it’s time for Mortimer to smile and chuckle: “Ahh, the torment… Nothing but cheap entertainment, really. I don’t hate you, Amby. I don’t love you and I don’t hate you, I just don’t… Have any strong feelings for you. There isn’t anything of worth in my connections to you, besides your flesh and blood of course. Evidently I don’t need your money to support myself, and - I don’t need your company. It’s you who wants to live the life of a rich lordling, deceiving others into believing you have a modicum of nobility, and yet…”

“But you… You… Liked, me. You did, I- I saw your dirty little diaries, I…” Ambroys stammered then, and then some. His fists were clutched so tight tiny specks of his golden blood rushed down the fingertips - the sharp, overgrown nails dug in too deeply. Shocked, baffled, and angered to the core, he was juxtaposed to a calm and calculating cat right before him. Mind you, the guards were ready to tear the pissy prissy pony apart for such strong words and yowling, but Mortimer gave each a command to standby. After all, it was his mess to handle.

Mortimer nodded, and spoke of the events long gone rather somberly: “That you did. A long time ago. I’ve simply grown out of it, Amby, and you should have, too. I don’t have too many attractions to the material plain, as you might have noticed. The riches come and go, so - I don’t need some fop to mooch off of me for the rest of my days here. Sorry, not-sorry.”

“Quit your bullshit, Killinger!!!” Ambroys yowled, on the verge of tears, “You did all of this to me only because you were bitter I never liked you! YOU liked me first! It was YOU!!!”

“Stop humiliating yourself,” Mortimer replied, “You’re b- Well, actually - no. You aren’t better than this. What are you going to-”

Fall down and bang his fists on the floor. This is exactly what Ambroys did. His halo flared up and flickered, quite weakly so, as his words grew incoherent and his face was blinded with rage and tears. Clearly, the cat’s had enough of that bickering, so he calmly walked up to the tantrum-ridden unicorn, and smashed his heel into his liver. That finally caused the celestial to quiet down and hungrily gasp for air, his still-teary eyes flickering up in more blind rage. Mortimer, on the other hand, was cold and hateful in his eyes, as he loomed over the poor thing once more and growled over his floppy ears:

“Would someone that loved you even for a second do THIS to you? Quit struggling and prolonging the inevitable, you stupid, vain, ugly, good-for-nothing Piggybank of an ass…”

These words hurt. Physically and mentally. Ambroys sobbed and tried to get up, but couldn’t. Mortimer’s face grimaced in suppressed anger and disgust, as he nodded to his servants. And thus, they carried something heavy out of the abandoned manor. A pole of wood with another log nailed to it, whilst more and more nails soon made it out to the rune-covered flooring. The ritual was nearly prepared, and so - Ambroys finally gave up on his attempts to stop it. The pony finally sat still and silent as Mortimer proclaimed “NAIL HIM!” With a voice loud as thunder. There was no stopping as to what was coming, but hey… perhaps there will be some relief soon to come.

As the brutes brought Ambroys to his back, Mortimer tossed his hood away and revealed his full ceremonial outfit: The all-black cloak was folded and thrown elsewhere, and thus revealed a sleek robe of harsh cotton and wool - all painted black and crimson. The seal of some infernal beast was present on Mortimer’s chest, welded into a copper medallion. It was polished. Prepared. Glistening and steaming from the temperature contained within. Shining, shimmering boots with pointed heels seem to grow all the shinier, too. Falling snow thaws within the circle, even as the blizzard starts to get stronger. Something about this whole place is dry, filled with death. Uncomfortable. One could even say disgustingly-warm. It’s clear - there is a summoning the wizard has planned, and most certainly an infernal one:

The unicorn’s weak, limp body was then carried off to the cross by two hounds at the front. Mortimer was too busy adding logs to the fire by the circle’s east. The cross was put on the opposite side - the circle’s very western border. And so the hammers did their harrowing deed - causing the shimmering unicorn to scream in utter agony, as the three nails of wrought iron caught both his wrists and his crossed ankles, thoroughly nailing him to the logs of smoked sandalwood. There was no use in pleading or crying anymore - not that Ambroys had any more tears left in him. Either way, the wrought iron is already set, and rust starts running down his bloodstream…

That wasn’t the only damage done. There would be no mercy - no single slit to the throat, no. Instead, Mortimer personally came over, and, smiling from ear to ear - slit both his wrists with an aluminum knife. Ambroys stared right into his glowing coals for eyes, defiant to the very bitter end. Mortimer let the pain of a wound that couldn’t regenerate seep through, causing the angelic creature to gasp and call unto its father’s name. In spite of his defiance, however - the summoner knew just how to break his victim. And so, the last thing that broke Ambroys in two was a deep, disgustingly-squelchy stab in between the ribs, right by the left.

There wasn’t anything human about the felinid looming above the prostrated unicorn. That smile had a dozen teeth too many to be human, all of them fangs. Serpentine tongue slithering in between them, almost chomped off and drawing blood. And the eyes indicated nothing but infernal joy over yet another soul being brought down to its inexistence. With that last look before departure, Killinger stepped back, and a mere step later - Comte Ambroys DeLuxe was crucified. Hoisted above ground as he bled, and the droplets of gilded sangue befell the soil marked with someone’s seal. Someone powerful, no doubt… Yet not as powerful as one could presume.

As Ambroys struggled to stay awake, moaning and screaming his gargling lungs out, the flames in the pyre opposing him burst high into the sky - and the summoned revealed himself unto others, much to the Count’s horror: A period-piece straight from the Wild West appeared in the center of the circle. A leopard, no less than eight feet tall, in a cowboy get-go of red, brown and gold. His boots’ heels clacked against burning-hot stone as he got up onto his feet and gave each of the hounds a disgusted look with his amber eyes, whilst the whole of his body was still coated in smoke. Grinning and clearly overwhelmed, Mortimer dropped to his knees and kissed the seal resting by his neck:

“Ganic Tasa Fubin, Flauros! Ganic Tasa Fubin…”

Ambroys was horrified. He never knew his blood, pure and clean, could be used for purposes so nefarious. Well - he did, he simply never saw it. Because unlike Killinger, Hyden had the decency to never harrow his trusted blood donor. Now, the disgraced celestial could see and feel the true potential of angelic blood - as an infernal creature stood right before him, staring Killinger and his servants down for a long, tense moment. Everyone fell quiet besides Mortimer, who went on with his enns and praises until what looked like a bounty hunter loomed directly over him. The tiger then spits off to the side, and lowers himself down to one knee:

“Why. The fuck. Did you bring me back to this shithole?”

That question rumbled across the field with thunderous volume, as the summoned contract killer’s voice roared in proper feline fashion. Even Mortimer looked a little flabbergasted - but not nearly as pissed-off as Flauros, himself. When the bigger cat took a look around, his flaming gaze focused on Ambroys. For once, amidst all the surrounding bastards - he felt a bit of… Empathy? Towards him in particular? It couldn’t be - a damned demon was more invested in his health than anyone else surrounding him. “...We’ll talk in a moment,” he said then, growling next to the wizard’s ear, “For now - take this poor creature down, at least!”

The hench-dogs looked rather confused as to who they should listen. Disappointed and desperate to suppress his own anger, Mortimer nodded, replying: “Well - you’ve heard the man. Take that… “Poor creature,” down from the cross. And don’t forget about the nails, or they’ll end up in your wrists, instead!”

With all that said - Killinger and Flauros walked together in a tense silence, while the wizard’s servants got to mounting Ambroys down. By this point, he was left entirely unconscious, and seemingly losing his breath with every strained huff. With a common shrug amongst the remaining hounds, they pulled the cross down, the nails out, and quickly dispersed from the lodge, leaving the dying unicorn to rest in the slowly-pouring rain…

***

“GAGH!!!” - A loud, gurgling grunt yowled past Mortimer’s lips. A kick to his gut, then another directly to his chest, incapacitated the whole of his breathing. To say Flauros was furious with his sudden summoning would be a grave understatement.

“You annoying, pestering, fffucking bookworm,” Flauros growled at the panting cat, “I told you not to kill in my sake on the grounds again. I fucking told you, several times, and you did it again!”

“I h-had good reason for it,” Mortimer stammered, “Flauros, listen to me, I had a damn good re-EGHRNGhh…” - another kick to the spleen left the mage coughing and sputtering, almost to the point of actually drawing blood. There was no threat like a demon scorned, and even though Flauros was enraged - he still tried to listen:

“Really? What good reason?” he inquired, “Name one good fucking reason for killing another halfblood celestial in front of everyone. Sure. Enlighten me.”

For a moment - one could see true fear and uncertainty in Mort’s eyes. Something so-very rare nowadays, even his older henchmen couldn’t recall a moment like this. Yet, he spoke like a complete coward, with his voice growing shaky in Flauros’s presence: “H… Heyyy, Flauros, you ought to relax a lil’ bit! Chill, Mr. Danger - I think I finally have a proper trail to Hyden! This mutt I brought over for ya? He’s got a real lea- ACKhh… GaACKhh…”

As soon as talk of Hyden resurfaced - Flauros simply grabbed Mortimer by the neck and made sure the fire from his palms licked at the flesh underneath, his squeeze utterly merciless.

“I told you, Killinger - I told you,” Flauros snarled, “To put that damned wizard’s name off your TONGUE! Three hundred years ago I told you so, kept telling you so until this moment, and I’m telling you so now. Shut UP, about Hyden, he is GONE!!! Stop killing in my name for something that doesn’t exist!!!”

“But I didn’t do anything in your name!” Mortimer warbled some through the tight grip, “All I gh- did was t-try and find more clues, more leads, and I finally found proof that he still exists!-”

“Killinger…” The bounty hunter sighed, and let go of the hopeless fool. Flauros then took a pause to pinch at his nose and cool his senses off - this was his patron overground, after all. “...I don’t care about your passion for Lord Hyden. I really do not. You must understand. I only care about the fact you kill celestials, halfbloods or not, so fucking overtly.”

Oh, Mortimer wasn’t too happy to hear about that. So, his tail swayed, and his own coatrims caught fire as he angrily stepped past Flauros. “Really? You don’t care?” he said, “While I do understand why, I don’t understand why you never bother to look deeper into this issue.”

“What other issue is there, besides YOU committin’ bloody murder of the blessed?! Murder, that attracts attention to ME?!” Flauros snapped, “All you do is meant for your own gain, no matter how many of your employees, co-workers, friends, family you have to step over the heads of. I will NOT be that guy, Killinger - I will NOT get smited just ‘cause YOU wanted to meet your stupid fuckin’ sensei!!!”

The smaller cat could only roll his eyes, as the leopard fluttered and fumed right behind him. “If you feel like you aren’t cut out for the job, we can end it there and I’ll find someone else,” Mort said, “Though it would be a shame - never thought Flauros the Kinslayer of all creatures would be willing to break contract. Over a few bodies, no less.”

“Look, Killinger,” Flauros snapped, “All I’m saying is - you should summon me for more important matters than jus’ some ghost-huntin’. I care about my own safety first, but also about yours. Haven’t you ever thought it might be dangerous for a Sylvanian t’provoke the higher powers so much? No, seriously…” Flauros then stepped forward. Cooling off a tad, he squatted down in front of Mortimer and placed both hands on his shoulders, staring him down intently: “...You sure you ain’t goin’ mad? Cause the Baron Killjoy I know would never.”

At long last, the two of them have come to their senses. With Mortimer’s eyes dashing over to the altar hill, he simply trailed off for a good while.

“...No. I don’t think I am going crazy - in fact, I’ve always been a bit of an obsessed loon,” Mortimer said then, hushing his voice down and returning to his mercenary, “But I knew DeLuxe. He had a strong, strong connection to Hyden. Stronger than I ever did. I summoned you here just so you could try and track him down. Please, Flauros, just this once - take a whiff…”

It was rather unusual to hear Mortimer beg for something, for he nearly-never does. That caused the spotted bounty hunter to raise a flaming-red brow, only for the smaller witch-cat to pull out a fanciful rug stained in Celestial blood. A few seconds of pondering passed, and so - with eyes closed and heavy chest heaving steam - Flauros took Ambroys’s soaked neckerchief.

“I swear by my titles and fortune, Killinger - if this is another ruse, our contract is void,” he said then, bringing the silky rag up close. The leopard first took a whiff of it, then - licked over the traces of blood, dried and wet, left on top of it. Muttering something under his breath, Flauros snapped his head elsewhere - so much so it crackled in a gut-wrenching snap. The whole body of his was soon to turn in the direction opposing the altar hill:

“Northeast,” he said, “I sense a strong, yet contained, magical presence there. Far, as far as one can go, but it’s there… Smells of, hold on… Rabbit.”

“See?! I told you, this hunt is going to be one of my last! I’m almost at my goal!” Mortimer beamed and bellowed right after Flauros’s analysis, “Come, come with me, we are heading out now!”

And so, the fat cat started rushing back up the hill, with the bounty hunter slowly trailing behind him. “You know there could be more than one wizard who just happens to be a rabbit, right?” Flauros said, only for Mortimer to turn and snap back:

“Why yes, but there’s only one DeLuxe spent lots of time with, and only one who could give off a trail so potent… So lively now, I’m getting my cart as soon as we get upstairs!”

Baron Killinger was in a hurry like no other. He didn’t even care about the altar any longer - he won’t be here to witness Ambroys be thrown off or buried, anyway. Flauros, grumbling under his breath, rushed to the front and lead the way. With his getaway vehicle already prepared, Mortimer quickly planted himself within and let Flauros handle the directions, leaving his henchmen to do the rest of the work on their own! The bounty hunter, naturally, didn’t share the same passion, but if rescuing someone Killinger admired meant a big payday for him, well… He can at least pretend to care about earthly things for a short while. And so they were off, in such haste the clouds of dust covered nearly the entire place of sacrifice. With the Comte’s cross pulled down, there was nothing left to do, besides get rid of him…

…With that out of the way, it seems the yearning student caught onto his teacher’s distant trail.

***

“So, boys - what da HELL do we do wit’ dis thing?” One henchmen asked the other, as more and more dogs piled around the body of a barely-breathing unicorn. Taken off the cross, it disassembled and used for parts, all that remained as the evidence of crime was Ambroys, himself. Lost in thought, or lack thereof, the big dogs looked between one another as the disgusting, near-death gurgles of a man soon to fall into the depths of Hades. An unbearable sight at best, with the arms slit and the face falling limp, Killinger’s houndish henchmen started to scram.

“I asked, what do we DO?!”

“J-Just leave ‘im there, no one comes ‘round here anyway!”

“Nah, nah, get the fuggin gasoline, we can’t let anyone-”

“Drop that cunt down th’ ditch an’ be done with it, I wanna go home an’ have a smoke already!”

“Y’know what? Dat’s a good idea!”

“Yeah!”

“Yeah. Down th’ ditch it is…”

Ambroys… Tried to shake his head, in a last-ditch effort to protest his seemingly-inevitable fate. His spine and lungs hurt too much to budge more than an inch, however, so, grimacing, he was forced to lay limp and continue bleeding out on the scorched field of sacrifice. New tears found themselves running down his cheeks, with his face losing color and his mind losing its grip on reality. This whole ordeal was already beyond-humiliating, but… Oh Father Almighty, is he really going to be tossed down a cliff by these oafs?! No, this cannot be!

“Nghrnhh… Rn-RNHGHNHHRNHH- Nghoohh! NghhRNHOHH yghooh fghrrnghh!!!” - the fanciful pony bellowed through grit teeth and the last seconds of rage he could possibly ever experience. However, the pressure was too much. His wounds squirted more of that precious sanguine fluid out, and soon, he started to drift into sleep, right as his wrists were grabbed and the meatheads laughed at his misfortune. Not for long, however, will they laugh, as, through the veil of death-slumber - Count DeLuxe heard profanity and the same disgusting gurgles. Hot, slimy fluid rushed itself over his stripped frame, yet it wasn’t just rain. Rain could not of been slimy, not in these arid parts, no…

Surely it must be someone’s blood. A hound’s blood.

With all the forces he had at the moment, Ambroys opened his eyes, and saw a hooded figure slice and gut Mortimer’s hench-dogs, one by one. The clacks of jaws indicated canine origins of his sudden savior, as well. He… Couldn’t see too clearly, as his eyes started rolling back and more blood splattered all across him. With all the threats now either gone or limping and gurgling, Comte DeLuxe’s guardian angel turned out to be nothing but some small, thin, yet rather fit dog, with his muzzle barely sticking out of his cloak’s hood. Too weak to say or do anything, Ambroys laid there, barely bleeding at this point… And that’s when things started to get really weird:

“Adoni, atama ki’ire tama ava’akim ve ke sakha to no cheloh,” The dog spoke in an unknown tongue, yet in spite of his senses signing off - Ambroys could hear every word of it. Something about it seemed so pure, yet so… Disturbing. Nothing good came of it in the long run, and yet - there was no more pain in his wrists and forearms, as they itched more than ivy and started to spasm. Ambroys’s chest burnt as the mysterious dog placed his arms onto it, even leaving proper red marks once he withdrew them and raised his frame to look to the northeast. “Ten lolah ku’um, Adonai! Ten lolah ke’mariim, Adonai!” - the hound continued to bellow and violently toss his arms to the northeast, bowing and kneeling and then jumping back up, until Ambroys felt a mysterious, foreign force pull him back up, and…

He gasped himself back into consciousness.

“GAAH!- G-Get away! Get away from me!!!” Ambroys yelled at the top of his lungs, stirring awake and lucid, utterly terrified and freezing-cold due to the rain. Staring upward, he soon found his sudden savior walk among the corpses of his kin, only to take his hood and cloak down to reveal himself:

Ambroys was right - his savior was a dog. Most definitely a dachshund, judging by his rather distinct height and spread of body mass. He looked prim, proper and noble, with a sapphire-blue waistcoat hugging rather tightly around a crisp-white shirt and a black neckerchief wrapped just as taut about his neck. His beige breeches were, no doubt, made of the finest material - so was his tailed greatcoat, hanging rather loosely on one ornate silver button. Goodness, there’s quite a lot of jewelry about him for someone stranded so far away from his presumed home! Even his boots’ belt buckles appear to be made of silver or cobalt instead of brass.

The hound’s fur contrasts greatly with his cool outfit, however - as a warm beige domineers over his short, plush fur, with a longer “mane” stylized as hair being a hot redwood ginger. Darker circles over his eyes and black nose also indicated for spots of interest, and lastly - the warm, trustworthy, russet-brown eyes stared directly downward, the patron’s gloved hands soon planted directly on the blood-soaked ground just to move in closer to the pony at hand.

“It’s okay, Your Eminence - it’s okay, you’re okay, now,” the hound spoke, his voice mellow and soothing. He tried to get to Amroys at a face’s reach, yet the unicorn stumbled back in terror.

“Wh- Who are you? Who hired you? A-Are you here to put me back on the gurney?! Answer me!” the Count snapped, over and over again, until the dog silently raised his hand and explained himself:

“Your Eminence, I’m… My name is Douglas. Douglas Dollopworth. I, too, am Sylvanian nobility, more recently promoted than your house, and I’m here to help you. In fact, I believe I’ve saved you from the-”

“Shut up!!! Shut up, I get it!” Ambroys bellowed again, as Douglas rose with a quiet “Yes Your Eminence.” Wobbling and trembling, the horse - yes, horse - got back onto his hooves, and looked downward - only to witness his horrifying reflection: Above him, there was no halo. Nothing, indeed. His hair, of gold and silver, simply turned to a dull, shimmering steel and a harrowing ashen-grey where gold once used to be. His face - sagged, with twice the wrinkles adorning it, alongside much, much darger bags under his eyes, and his spine suddenly no longer able to support his weight as much. Ambroys slouched, and touched his face repeatedly in utter horror at what has become of him.

“What… Where… Wh-Where is it? Where’s the halo, the, the essence, the… Where are my powers?!” Ambroys wailed, so much that his voice returned a couple of times from the hills nearby. Douglas did not answer, at first. The Count’s eyes flicked between his reflection and the hound that “saved” him, absolute terror evolving into soul-scorching despair. More tears soon fell down the olden pony’s cheeks, with the whole of his face blanking out before a set of screechy, broken wails echoed across the hills once more.

Ambroys knelt. He knelt before his scarred, aged, disgusting reflection, demonstrating and reminding him with every passing second that he was now a mortal. He couldn’t look, he couldn’t face the facts, so instead the once-unicorn rolled on the ground and brayed in unabashed hysteria. Then, after the initial panic had set in - Ambroys hyperventilated, his chest heaving so much his heart looked like it was ready to jump out. Eyes wide and rabid, he soon turned to the edge of the cliff, slowly starting to crawl toward it… Only for the dachshund to swiftly catch him and wrap his arms around him, with surprising strength and tightness at that.

“L-Let me go, I cannot, I- I cannot exist like this-” Ambroys stammered, only for Douglas to hus him up:

“Y-Your Eminence, you simply cannot do that! Your existence is a detriment to solitude!”

“What does it matter if I am no longer MYSELF?!”

“You’re still you, Your Eminence! Please, you have just been brought back and you’re out of blood! It needs to be restored before-”

“Shut up! Shut up and let me go! I no longer wish to be around, n-no one can SEE me like this, I SAID LET ME GO!!! IT IS AN ORDER!!! LET ME GOOO!!!” The Count broke down into a full panic attack once more, though at this point - it appears Douglas wet a cloth with something sweet and herbal-scented:

A soft press of said fabric over Ambroys’s muzzle followed not long after. Doug held onto the wailing and thrashing husk of Ambroys DeLuxe, slowly letting the valerian and poppy take hold of him instead of sheer strength. The violently-writhing horse’s eyes rolled around in panic and despair some more, marked with tears of what appears to be silver, which soon turned transparent the more he “bled” liquid from his eyes. So much for holiness, and yet… The sedation forced Ambroys to be at peace, in spite of a storm still raging within his mind, still.

“You’ll be alright, Your Eminence,” Douglas whispered to Ambroys, “You’ll be alright…”

A few whines slipped past the ex-celestial’s lips, until his limbs were too weak to protest. Douglas moved silver hair out of the Count’s face, and simply let him drift off to a peaceful sleep. Celestial or not, it doesn’t matter now - at least, Ambroys felt like he was in strong, safe, trustworthy hands. And that thought, that thought alone let him drift away to slumber, finally at peace and no longer bound to a gurney…

#amaranthine #ambroys deluxe #mortimer killinger #my wriitng #my wrist is dead #for that matter #semi-fanfiction #WOO who loves seeing this honse tormented raise your hands!!!

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peppapiglover · 1 year

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I had a pretty productive day playing sdv today!! 😄 For context I am currently Winter 16, Year 3

Winter 11 - got my first ancient fruit!! I found an ancient fruit artifact back during Year 1 - I gave it to Gunther & he gave me a single seed but my dumbass assumed that ancient fruit seeds are a one-time harvest & I would have to keep replanting them (I confused them for starfruit...) so bc of that assumption, I never bothered planting my ancient fruit seed. I was scared it'd take me forever to get a second seed (my dumbass fr forgot the seed maker exists) but at the end of fall, I was like "yolo, I'll just plant it & see if anything good comes out of it 🤷" It's been growing ever since then but Winter 11, I got my first harvest ❤️ I put it into the seed maker & it gave me back 2 more seeds so those are growing now. My greenhouse is strawberries only but I plan to replace them with ancient fruit. I've been told the game feels too easy and boring once I start growing ancient seeds so that's something I'm concerned about. But I'm also aiming for 100% perfection so idkkkk. I plan on making a new save after completion to keep myself from getting bored with sdv but I also need the 10mil clock for perfection, & the fruit would help financially. so idk!!! I'm worried but not worried

Winter 11 - First prismatic shard drop in the caverns! I've earned two prismatic shards before. One found in a mystic stone in the quarry, and my second from reaching the top of the volcano dungeon. But I've never gotten any rare drops like this one during a cavern run so this was definitely exciting. I have been avoiding the Skull Caverns for literally foreverrrrr. The ONLY reason why I bothered going into the caverns was because I need dino mayo for the missing bundle, and ig dino eggs are better dropped in the caverns... I'm still very new to skull caverns so I was not expecting to get one this early and it made my night!! I got this one on floor 48 I think, which adds to the excitement bc all the bad drops are at these levels

Winter 13 - I finally did all of Mr. Qi's quests (just like skull caverns, I've been too terrified of doing anything Qi related so I've been avoiding him LIKE THE PLAGUE.) I was finally allowed access to the casino and I dunno why I was ever scared bc he honestly seems cool af (but yes im still scared of him for some reason)

Winter 14 - my first time seeing the 10 heart event with Harvey 🥺 HONESTLY........... I like Harvey. I think he's adorable........ but I cannot bring myself to LOVE him. I can't! I want to join the Harvey hype train so bad but I JUST CANT. He's missing that little something, that oomf, that I need to be able to love him. Plus, he's the town doctor and IDK the patient/doctor situation does not help. But I like his character!! And his cutscene was so cute!! I myself can't see romance with Harvey, but it's fine, I'm loyal to my beloved emo frog boy 💙

Winter 15 - I got another two prismatic shards from omni-geodes! I had about 110 geodes from the skull caverns (I did not realize how easy it is to get them from the skull caverns) so I spent that morning bouncing between my farm and Clint's. I donated one to the missing bundle and the second to Gunther

Definitely a productive day!! My to-do list for tomorrow is super long too

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nilikhangdiwa · 1 year

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2022 Fic Wrap Up!

basically i will talk about every fic i've written this year, behind the scenes of them, plus some bonus stuff i've written! i'm pretty sure all of it is a3, with like. one or two outliers, if any. anyway! enjoy my rambling.

btw, all my fics are private for the time being, so you'll need an ao3 account to read them. sorry about that, bots are. shit.

I Touched a Magic Mirror and Ended Up in My Parental Figure's Favorite RPG?!

masumi isekai fic, kniroun extended universe, mentioned lancelot/gawain/arthur

basically when i was wtiting this fic it was around this time of the year, and i was like "i'm gonna finish this fic by the time classes start up again!"

SPOILER ALERT. I DID NOT.

it kept getting longer and longer. umm. i do really like it! i love kniroun a normal amount, please ask me about the extended kniroun universe always. i did love writing it a lot, even though it caused me some grief because i was like i am not splitting this into two chapters fuck off.

so, yeah! also i'm sorry to oomf, who always cries when they reread the fic because fictional britain is homophobic. ummmm. sorry. lancelot has issues. again, please feel free to talk to me about kniroun.

- - -

when the moon fell in love with the sun (all was golden in the sky)

short fics collection, lone wolves week, mostly platonic with azuhiso and azuchika thrown in

lone wolves week 2022! i ended up putting all my little drabble submissions into one fic. i think i wrote most of them the day before the actual day it was supposed to be posted? as usual, i skipped free day because i'm so bad at those.

azuma and sakuya one was cute and domestic! i like them and i always have camellia to cherry blossom on the brain (the fic by desikauwa i think) so yeah!

azuchi brainrot is azuchi because my friend super loved azuchi when they were into a3 and it rubbed off on me lol

the hisoka and sakuya one is silly because the entire fake play it's based off is actually a sakuya/homare play. nieves (hisoka) is my favorite because i love hisoka, and she's in love with zenaida (citron) to a. hm. questionable degree because i'm a sucker. liberato's (sakuya) the colead, he's cute but a menace, and he betrays vedasto (homare, lead) at the end of the second act. other actors in the play are ramil (azuma) and basilio (chikage), and all the names are based off filipino gods/names/words.

azuhiso cute and soft there's nothing much to say, tbh.

chikage & hisoka is the. most un-normal one. idk. they have me fucked up. they are also fucked up. they are traumatized in the same way but in a different way but they are family and it's. certainly a thing.

the last chikage & sakuya one is. hmm. i think it's inspired partially by another similar fic that percy timeskipped wrote + partially by the scene in act 12 (or 11?) where sakuya sees aunt yoshinaga, but don't quote me on this because i barely remember writing this tbh.

- - -

Jun. Fucking. Hates. DRINKING PARTIES.

tasuhoma, nonokou, nocturnality

this one was for a valentine's fic exchange and i actually like nonokou a lot! i'm personally a furarei nonokou kind of guy, so getting the excuse to write it was fun! nonomiya is such a normal guy, it's fun to see him get tossed into shenanigans, whether that's the supernatural kind, or his dumbass coworker-slash-lover gets shitfaced

- - -

utsuki chikage rates harry potter characters on how hot they are

crackfic

i have nothing to add. this is one of those fics where i basically just write down the stuff my friends say but make a3 characters say them. like the kfc crocs thing. discord servers are wild

- - -

'cause i'm not too far, and you're my favorite place

chikaita, fluff, established relationship

this was a commission for my friend, cg! truth be told, i only really got into chikaita around like, december last year, thanks to rptwt. i'm usually an itatsumu guy, but i love all the ships!

this one turned out super cute and i'm really happy! honestly there's nothing much to say, i just think that they deserve a cute little date with no danger of anything.

- - -

Letters in Paper Airplanes

madomika

okay so backstory on madomika. me and some friends were playing frantic fanfic earlier in the year and then ended up with this ship? so CLEARLY. _CLEARLY_. I DECIDED TO BE INSANE ABOUT IT. because i love madoka and i love mika so clearly i am insane about this.

they're just so cute and understanding and soft spoken, but they really do care about each other a lot! in general, i think mika deserves a lot!

this fic is actually the 5000th (i think. or 6000th) a3 fic on ao3! my friend also wanted to be that milestone fic but i beat her to it and it was a little petty of me ;;; sorry aud

- - -

Love is Stored in the Car's Center Console Box

igawa & tenma, father's day

father's day fic! this one's pretty straightforward, i just adore tenma and igawa's relationship and i hope we get to see them more moving forward! i like to contrast tenma's relationship with issei vs with igawa. umm. igawa best dad.

- - -

The Ocean at Sunset

hisohoma, established relationship, dresses

this was for a pride month exchange! umm, honestly, i'm not auper sure if i captured what my giftee wanted, but i had fun writing it! i... actually i just like writing hisoka as down bad as humanly possible.

it was challenging for sure, tho! because i. am not good at writing hisoka, despite him being my fave. so i'm not sure what compelled me to write in hisoka's pov. but i think it worked out!

- - -

You've Got My Time, You are My Plans

tonoita, established relationship, breakfast

this was supposed to be for the "spoiled" prompt of rarepair week, but i finished it early, got another idea for the prompt, and then decided to just post it solo instead.

i am. coming out as a tonoita liker. they make me feel vicious. feral. it's insane. this was kickstarted because my friend likes them and i got dragged in. funny banter. but also they are exes. but also they are still in love with each other. they both hurt each other but they are both stubborn. i want them to make out.

- - -

10.

(before you went on a journey) i had something that i wanted you to hear

banri & itaru, background chikaita, nobles au

another comm for cg! this one's based off an au that i have called prestige au, where basically as a kid itaru was forced to move out and live alone in a separate manor as his noble family, and his isolation continues to adulthood causing rumors to spread. banri's his bio brother in this one.

it was tricky to write because i got used to expanding this au verse through rp, but writing it out like this was fun too!

if you're curious, you can ask me about prestige au because i love my little blorbo. my little fumkin guy.

- - -

11.

everything stays right where you left it

banmisu, first meeting, canon compliant

day 1 of rarepair week for the pairing "forgotten". um. okay, the thing is, i'm pretty sure banmisu wasn't my original plan for this. i'm fairly sure it was supposed to be some other ship actually, but things changed and i don't remember what the original ship was! also i forgot where i put the original list of ships i was gonna do so yeah.

banmisu brainrot is juju's fault btw. that's all. i think banmisu is such an interesting ship to think about. this is also partially mikael's fault i think but that's from years ago. please feed me more.

- - -

12.

Silk-Spun Threads

azutsumu, slightly more mature idk

I AM THE NUMBER ONE AZUTSUMU ADVOCATE. it's up there as one of my favorite fuyu ships, right beside tsumuhiso! i think as a pair they're super slept on so i decided that yeah. i think they're neat. i think this super hot and gorgeous and sensual person should be _down fucking horrendous_ for the chuuni mushroomhead with dirt on his face.

that is to say, please make more azutsumu food i need this

- - -

13.

How to Melt Your Gamer Boyfriend

hisoita

OKAY THIS ONE. day 3 - heat haze. the other prompt was downpour. and actually, this day was supposed to be banmado downpour where bamri shows up at fuyou while it's raining to pick madoka up from class. and i ended up not writing it because i was struggling so i settled for the good, old-fashioned itaru pov cute fluffy fic.

i love hisoita a normal amount. i think this is the only hisoita i wrote this year but 2022 was the year of hisoitas (thank you bee and quill), and ali (hisoita oomf) is definitely a major part of my brainrot

- - -

14.

Starlight

juligawa, we ignore canon, fluff

i'm pretty sure the tumblr ppl don't know about juligawa which is super funny. i love talking about juligawa because i love seeing people like WHY ARE YOU SHIPPING JULY AND IGAWA and my answer is that it's fun.

this is the only rarepair week fic i actually finished before the week (aside from the tonoita one) and i was so excited to share it to specifically attack oomf. ryu ryukogo ceo of juligawa real! i am so attached to this funny little crackship i hope them happiness

- - -

15.

Wheel of Suits

citoju, citron harem au

i feel like this one requires a lot of context. um. back in 2020/2021 i ended up in a discord roleplay game where basically my friend and i roleplayed citron and july respectively. and the thing is that they literally just antagonized each other the whole time and then we decided that _yeah we are ill for this ship now_ so yeah.

citron harem agenda is an entirely separate au where everyone i ship with citron is part of his bigass royal harem. this is literally everyone from tsuzuru to azuma, barring guy, plus augju. you can also ask me about this if you want. each of them has a specific like little character arc and they have fun little limk skills and everything.

okay, back to citoju. umm. so the thing is. this wasn't supposed to be the first citoju fic. but i did not have the time or energy to write a 20k fic featuring truth and betrayal and first love and separation and forgiveness and tenderness so here we are. nonetheless. i love em.

- - -

16.

Hollow Gods

harutsumu, first meeting, pre-canon

i really... really... like harutsumu. i think they're fun and they are _actors_, and they have so much love and passion for it that it makes me want to make them kiss. i also like to think about how fucked up godza was to like. everyone. literally everyone. even reni. no one was winning. if i could i'd love to expand harutsumu's dynamic and relationship but idk.

- - -

17.

Caravan

georgetim, lucitim, kazuhoma, kazutsumu, lumicirc

i am so insane and fucked up over georgetim you would not believe it. okay first off this was supposed to be purely kazutsumu because they're one of my fave ships to think about, but then lumicirc happened.

i hate lumicirc. because. GOD.

i'm just going to copy and paste the essay gave my friend because i am ill over them

anyway. this is fucking horrible why is tim so in love with george. why are they clown augju. george is so DUMB and a ditz and totally golden hearted and tim is more realistic and logical but at the same time he owes george his everything and he loves george so much for being there for him and giving him a family and i just. god what the fuck the pining i hate this stupid ship i feel very violence

they have me in a VISE GRIP george is such an idealist and an optimist and tim is the realist that levels him out, but even in the play you can tell that tim does care about george so much and he's the only one who stayed when nick and will both left but tim has always been by his side!! they even trained together doing circus acts when they were younger

tim can come off kind of cold but he's just like. a little blunt and i care about him a lot he's very realistic but he's not a bad guy,, he wants the circus to succeed too, just like george. they're working for the same dream. i am crying

anyway, please consider

- - -

18.

you could be my queen, i could be your dream

summer troupe, frantic fanfic, humor

after rarepair week i got into a super writing slump for like a solid 3 months, where i could barely write anything. this one was for an exchange that i signed up for a few months prior, but finishing it gave me a sense of accomplishment. like, i had to sit down and write and write _something_ and i did and i finished it and i like it!

so about the fic. it's so stupid. don't let the title fool you, it's literally just a funny little fic where summer troupe writes franfic. i had like a spreadsheet open for everything and all the pairs that went together and who everyone got i swear i'm sane.

- - -

19.

Black and Red Dress

mukuyuki, minatori, last runway, +3ghosts, major character death, hospitals

this one was a commission for ryu! minatori (minato [muku +3ghosts] and kikukawa [yuki last runway]) the world! the ship started because of just some silly roleplay we did on a whim and then we got attached. god. they are cute and tragic, best combo

i actually finished this comm the day after ryu asked for it because i went insane and speedran it. ummmm. :> yeah.

- - -

20.

Stapler Eater and Papercut Boy

bansaku, soulmate au, first meeting

comm for raina! I CANNOT BELIEVE THIS IS THE ONLY BANSAKU FIC I WROTE THIS YEAR. actually, the entire year i was struggling to write as much as last year but you know what. i'm okay with that actually. 20 fics is still a lot. anyway.

soulmate au where the marks on your skin appear on your soulmate's skin. it's super cute and fluffy and me and raina talk about their funny little dynamic on twitter and i just love it. i love them.

- - -

bonus!

Memory Foam

citochika, non explict sex

this one's on anon actually but yeah i wrote it. i was having a time. i love citochika and the trust and love in their relationship. i love writing chikage in nsfw situations and then making it unbearably soft and tender. i'm normal. 👍

- - -

bonus!

twitter rp thread speedrun! (i'm not linking these, that's embarrassing.)

hazuki au

i want him to be happy. do you ever think about what if the org found out about mankai? yeah. fucked up. but he's my baby and i care him so much i'm sorry for traumatizing him

74 threads

ngl not all of my writing in these threads are my favorite but you know it's super fun coming up with thoughts and ideas for july to torment itaru so

sunflower july au

...... july nice guy era? i wish i'd finished it. but anyway. i think i can fix him

hafez au

i'm sorry i keep fucking up the bunny, i didn't mean it! yes i did. i think it's fun to watch chikage react to various horrible situations. i love the hurt part, but i love the comfort part. i love seeing him heal and get over his past and move forward. yes i know i gave him that horrible past but you can't just say secret mercenary spies and leave it at that a3

- - -

OKAY END. THANK YOU FOR LISTENING. if you clicked any of the links i love you. hope to write more next year! :3

#a3 #lanchan talks #fic writing wrapped

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lqfiles · 23 days

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Im back to inform u that ttf isnt gonna be on the setlist for tds3 ummm? I THOUGHT WE WERE THE ONE. TRIGGER THE FOMO MORE LIKE. @CHENLE FIX THIS JEBALLLLL

Ok but imagine teddy bear is on the setlist like we will be cheering (from home) 🙂‍↕️🙂‍↕️ OMG THAT REMINDS ME ARE U GOING TO ANY OF THE TDS STOPS???

SHSHSBDHDJDBDJ STOP I JUS SAW UR REPLIES TO MY MSGS now ur scaring ME dont say we're oomf in laws like thatttt 🌝 im just a girl behind a petite priv we do a lil trolling here and there and if i am actually oomfies with the lqfiles we might have to scream

- 🍮

this set list is CRAZYYY like why did i find out today that they’re also going to perform FIREFLIES… LIKE OH THATS NOT…. cute song but out of your whole discography you fought for that one?? they have to be trolling like these trolling kings am i right 😅 also tmi but i honestly never rlly cared about ttf like i never willingly listened to it but the amount of times i’ve seen it on my tl it has grown on me, WE ARE FHE FUCKING ONE DONT EVEN PLAYYY 😂😂 i’m curious to know what they’re gonna replace it with like ttf is the national jumping anthem, it’s our aju nice YOU CANT REPLACE THIS.. FLY HIGH QUEEN, CHENLE YOU SERVED US WELL WITH THAT ONE FANCAM

i feel like they will add teddy bear this time because they even got told on an interview how fans wanted it BAAADDD like if they’re not gonna do it this time they’re just playing too much 😒 anywaysss i’m not sure i wanna go sooooo bad tho, when i tell you i was watching tds fancams last month and the FOMO was bad like fuck i shouldve been there on the stage WITH THEM.. I HAVE TO GO THIS YEAR I JUST HAVE TO, pls pray for me 😭 my whole yt history these past weeks is just tds2 fancams i even got a playlist shdhdjssk

THAT DESCRIPTION WOAHHH that’s so me like just a girl who moved to a priv account where she gets silly and trolls a bit 🤫🤫 it would be so hilarious if you turn out to be a mutual or smth tho like THATS OOMF (serious) 😭😭😭😭🫶🏽

#asks.#from 🍮 anon #we triggered we fevered and god we were the fucking one for sure 🥹🚬#(insert that duck smoking gif)#ALSO RENJUN NOT VEING HERE UGHHHH WE NEED TO KREEL SOMEONE..

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megumifushlguro · 4 months

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@/Phanecore who you have rted a few tweets from has implied TWICE that two different lesbians were faking their sexuality because they shipped satosugu (while they are bi), has supported homophobic rhetoric from dudebros, mutuals with people like yosanobbygirl (who has made fun of people who get sad and/or mad when they get misgendered + supports homophobic rhetoric against queer ships) and @/tailor_0f_chaos who has done the same as the last person mentioned + calls queer people "snowflakes".

First of all, thank you for sending me the names of these people, anon, and second, here's my response.

Let's start: I only interacted with this person TWO times, and I have NEVER followed them nor known them personally. So I never knew they were like that as you described, but now that I know, thank you for alerting me.

Second, yosanobbygirl was my follower but I never followed them back and their tweets never made it on my tl, so again, I didn't know. I'm sorry.

As for these other two you mentioned, I've had these people blocked WAY before all of this started, and one of them even has ME blocked.

If I ever interacted with these types of people, it is only because they made a point about something regarding ship wars and the way some stsg shippers love attacking ACTUAL harmless people over nanago and gojohime. I have never known them personally nor been moots with them. I'm a lover of all three ships myself, so I always try to see their fandoms (while knowing all three have their own bad apples in them) in a positive light EQUALLY. That being said, spreading rumours about me to my oomfs wasn't cool, and I won't post this on twitter to expose you because I'm not that type of person and I don't wish any harm on you, so instead I hope you see this here. If you continue spreading rumours even after this, that's when we're gonna have problems. Other than that, thank you for coming here as I asked. I hope you have a wonderful day and this ship war nonsense doesn't bother you too much.

EDIT: I wanna add that if any dudebros or other homophobes come onto my hit tweets when I occasionally get them, I don't associate myself with those people and I have all my hit tweets MUTED. so I don't see what's happening. If this happens again, please, instead of spreading rumours and making me anxious, come here, explain the situation, and I'll block and mute as told.

#anon ask

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r-gie · 2 years

Text

WiP shots of my recent Willow fanart. Thinking of drawing Wolfgang next, not sure when I'll be able to start/finish drawing him tho. It's prolly gonna take a couple of weeks from now as I'm slow af and also got other priorities to do oTL

We will see :'))

(I struggled drawing this one more than my Wilson fanart. Mainly because I lacked focus and confidence painting/anatomy-wise. I was concerned that the head might be too big to the point that it becomes distracting, but my friend told me it's fine so I trusted her lol It's always the flippin' head :L I think exaggerating some parts is alright as long as it works well with the overall idea, and you're not only doing it because you're lazy to draw it the right way. This one I drew with a reference picture that I took of myself and I saw from my reference picture that the left arm doesn't look that way from that angle. But I didn't change it to the way it looks realistically because it doesn't have that same oomf effect that this exaggerated pose does. I also didn't know what to do with the background. I didn't want it to just be some boring wallpaper design. I want it to compliment her and to add a bit of narrative to the overall illustration. So I added smudges and some crystal-like highlights here and there.)

#Don't Starve #Don't Starve Together #DST #Willow #Willow dst #fanart #werkenpregress #sorry I wrote a bunch of stuff here #just wanted to share my thoughts while drawing these stuffs #it might be insightful #or entertaining #or not #lol #I just added a Keep Reading point just in case y'all find my bla bla bla annoying

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headtothecoast · 4 years

Text

hogwarts!geraskier au

geralt is a hufflepuff and jaskier is a slytherin if you think otherwise be prepared to catch these hands. and maybe a lute.

geralt's appearance is very much meant to intimidate and jaskier's is meant to sooth. however, the sorting hat doesn't care about that. it cares about intent. jaskier intends to get famous. geralt intends to help people.

so picture this,

muggleborn jaskier who realizes he can literally enchant people with his music and wants to become famous. pureblood geralt whose father vesemir separated from their family when he was younger but takes in children that are unwanted in some way, be it birth/magic/social status.

the two meet on the train. geralt is sitting alone in a cabin and he's quiet and angry as a kid because his family didn't want him and his brothers are off somewhere having fun but he isn't sure he wants to go to hogwarts because he would much rather be at home with roach. he was scared he wouldn't be good at this whole magic thing, eskel had told him that's why his parents didn't want him so he may as well show up, not get put in a house, and take the train home back to roach. that's the plan anyways.

at least until he hears a commotion in the hallway of the train and sees two 3rd years holding a 1st year with wants pointed at him and wicked smiles on their faces and it doesn't matter that geralt's never cast a spell he's seen eskel and lambert practice movements and vesemir perform this one often enough around especially vindictive parents that geralt casts such a strong protego he sends the 3rd years flying and the small 1st year is staring at him with the largest eyes he's ever seen and a split lip.

geralt intends to just walk away because the 3rd years don't look like they're coming back and geralt honestly can't believe it worked except the other 1st year sticks his hand out and introduces himself as jaskier the famous musician! and thanks geralt for helping him and well no he didn't exactly have it under control and my goodness what year are you in because none of the older kids really wanted to help me the sods but you're much nicer than them aren't you and i don't really know how i keep getting myself into those sorts of messes and what magic did you just perform there? i've never done magic before! didn't know it existed until my parents got a letter and they were more surprised than me i guess by golly you are tall mr. oh my goodness i am so sorry i didn't ask your name, what is your name?

and geralt has a headache as well as a better understanding for why those 3rd years wanted this kid out of their cabin but also it's less lonely in his cabin now that jaskier is sitting next to him jabbering away and fidgeting a little because of the silence and geralt almost forgets he was asked a question but tells jaskier his name and is rewarded with more conversation and praise and if jaskier rubs his wrists where the other kids had grabbed him then geralt ignores it and definitely doesn't hand him a chocolate frog when the trolley comes around and smile a little when jaskier's eyes nearly burst from his head when the frog leaps right out of the box and into his hand. and then jaskier's sad because he doesn't want to kill the frog and geraaalt isn't that mean, to eat a real frog and geralt doesn't even get to weigh in that it's a fake one before the prefects walk around and remind everyone to change into their robes.

so geralt and jaskier are sitting again except jaskier keeps going on about his robes and then looks speculatively at geralt and asks if he knows anything about hogwarts. geralt says he has older brothers and sisters that have attended and have been sorted into every house. when jaskier asks him about the house system geralt tells him everything his brothers had told him, albeit haltingly. gryffindor is for the brave, slytherin for the clever, ravenclaw for the smart and hufflepuff for the loyal. jaskier asks how the hat determines which one you are and geralt says it reads your mind, talks to you sort of, asks you what you want in life. jaskier says he wants to be a musician and asks geralt what he wants. geralt says he wants roach. jaskier laughs and geralt prepares to be made fun of but jaskier says that's a wild name and asks what roach is and that it's so cool geralt has a horse or a foal because she's so little and goes off for a little bit before seeing the castle in the distance and sobering long enough to ask geralt if he thinks there's a bad house to get put in because he heard one of the older kids talking about slytherins.

geralt thinks for a moment because his brothers and sisters had been in every house. there were slytherins, gryffindors, ravenclaws, and hufflepuffs all over kaher morhen during the holidays, so many he was sure they could hold class on the estate and hogwarts need not open its doors. he knows that gryffindors are usually loud and boisterous, that ravenclaws are dedicated and single-minded, that slytherins always have a goal, and that hufflepuffs can always be found next to one of them. he tells jaskier that none of the houses are bad, that each one is different and that whichever one jaskier gets put in would be lucky to have him. slytherin just means you know what you want and you're determined more than anything to do it.

and suddenly geralt has his arms full of jaskier who is laughing and thanking him and telling him that he hopes they're in the same house because who wouldn't want to be in the same house as their very best friend.

geralt's eyes go wide because except for his siblings, who don't count, he hasn't ever had a friend. and maybe from the look on jaskier's face of wide eyes and an unsure smile he thinks neither has he. so geralt just nods and says even if they're not in the same house, siblings get put in different places all the time so it's not like they wouldn't see each other.

and suddenly they're standing in a hall with long tables and high ceilings and a short stool in the middle of stone floors while the headmistress explains some updates that geralt and jaskier are too nervous to hear but then the sorting hat sings a song about unity and trust and geralt elbows jaskier as if to say i told you so and suddenly he's sitting on the stool and talking to a hat.

another rivia. how interesting. you remind me of your father. geralt sits up straighter at that. the one thing vesemir had always refused to tell them was his own hogwarts house. he didn't want to admit to favorites. yes i can see that you would like that, or that you think you would like to be like your adoptive father. interesting. and yet the boy you met on the train earlier - jaskier, now there's a talkative kid if you've ever met one. and geralt remains mostly silent while the hat deliberates, he doesn't know if he gets to say anything or weigh in on the decision. of course you get a say. what house do you prefer? and geralt draws a blank. he doesn't know. supposes he doesn't care but that's not right he does care he just, never saw himself getting this far really. expected he'd be back home with roach by now and not actually having to pick a house. so geralt asks the hat which one is your favorite and the hat is surprised. geralt thinks its laughing on his head and then so much like vesemir before the hat shouts HUFFLEPUFF

and there's clapping when he steps down from the stool and he goes to sit at the table except jaskier hugs him and is smiling and geralt smiles back and says good luck and then he's sitting by kids dressed in yellow and waiting for his friend to sit beneath a hat.

ah. a muggleborn. jaskier. geralt's friend. you have an interesting mind. though i'm sure you know that. surprised you aren't talking my flaps off right now actually given how much i saw you talk in geralt's head. ah well. let's see. you want to be a musician correct? at the question jaskier startles and peeps a yes, because the hat didn't sound like it was saying things outloud but just in his head and it was a strange feeling and jaskier wanted to ask geralt what the hat said to him except the hat asked him something else which he didn't quite catch but he heard the laughter and then - yes your thoughts are so fast it's hard to keep pace, and i can read minds. well, given their speed and determination i guess we'll go with SLYTHERIN - the hat shouts and then jaskier is being wisked off to a sea of green.

and when the headmistress looks out over the tables and finishes her welcoming speech she claps her hands and says alright now off with you, arranged seating is only for the sorting ceremony, sit where you like

and geralt barely gets out an oomf before jaskier slams into him talking a mile a minute and geralt just smiles to himself and listens.

*sorry, these are always longer than i mean them to be. they’re too long to feel like a headcannon and too short to be considered a fic.

**not sure how/when to add yennifer sorry, maybe she’s a year above them and no one can figure out which house she’s in since she stole an outfit of each color because i wouldn’t put it past her

#geralt of rivia #geralt x jaskier #jaskier #geraskier #hogwarts!geraskier #slytherin!jaskier #hufflepuff!geralt #the witcher #hogwarts au #vesemir #eskel #lambert

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theydontknowaboutusimagines · 3 years

Text

Valentine’s Day Surprise - Harry Styles Mini Series (Part 5)

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4

It was the morning of Valentine’s Day and sunlight made it’s way through the curtains and into the bedroom. Arms were wrapped around you and you could feel content breathing against your neck. You smiled realizing where you were and knowing it wasn’t a dream. You gently and as quietly as you can turn around so you’re facing your boyfriend.

He was still sleeping so you contemplated on your next move. You didn’t know if you rather lay next to him and enjoy a lazy morning or go into the kitchen and make a special breakfast. You ended up deciding on the best of both worlds, staying there for a few more minutes before going downstairs.

“Whatever you’re doing, stop,” Harry mumbled.

“Excuse me?” You giggled, looking down at him.

“You’re overthinking something,” he said, pulling you closer to him.

“How do you know that?” You laughed.

“Because I just do,” he said. “Now, what are you thinking about?”

“Nothing huge,” you said. “Just whether I should stay here or go cook up some breakfast.”

“Here, definitely stay here,” he smirked.

“Why? You were sleeping, plus you still have your eyes closed,” you said. “I know I look a hot mess in the mornings, but I didn’t think it was that bad.”

“You don’t,” he said. “You might smell a bit, but you look beautiful.”

“Fuck you,” you groaned hitting with a pillow.

“Heeey!” He whined.

“What?” You said innocently.

“Oh it’s on now,” he smirked, tickling your sides.

“Harry! Stop!” You whined trying to move out of his reach.

“You started it,” he pointed out.

“You told me I smelled,” you pointed out.

“Well... I mean,” he shrugged.

Rolling your eyes, you decked him with a another pillow.

“Oomf,” he groaned.

You giggled jumping up out of the bed and running out of the room.

“So, that’s how it’s going to be huh?” He laughed chasing after you.

You let out a screech as you run through the house, but low and behold you he wraps his arms around you, tickling your sides.

“Why are you naked?” You laughed.

“I believe the real question is why aren’t you naked,” he smirked kissing your cheek.

“Because I get cold,” you answered. “Duh.”

“I’ll keep you warm,” he whispered against your neck.

"Oh, is that right?” You asked.

“I’ll be more than happy to show you,” he said.

“Lead the way,” you smirked.

A few hours later, you and Harry were sitting out in the backyard enjoying your Valentine’s Day brunch. Yes, it involved the cheesy heart shaped pancakes, or at least the attempt at them. There was a ton of fruit and your other favorites. Harry made mimosa’s that you two sipped on well after you finished eating.

There was a swing out in backyard the two of you were cuddled up. His hand ran up and down your legs as you laid your head on his shoulder. He smiled kissing your head.

“You know, it’s strange to think this time last year, we hadn’t even spoken to one another in years and now here are together,” you said. “I can’t believe how much as changed for us in the last few months.”

“I know,” he smiled. “I wish I would have reached out to you sooner. Then we could have had more moments like this.”

“Yeah, but now this just means we get to make up for lost time,” you smiled. “Oh, wait. Your presents.”

Before Harry could protest, you had already gotten up to head inside. Harry followed you and was surprised to see you standing there with a red and pink gift bag.

“You didn’t have to get me anything,” he said.

You rolled your eyes, “We’ve always gotten each other Valentines. Well.. except during the time we weren't really talking... but that doesn't count,” you said.

He laughed taking the bag from you and opening it up. First he took out the teddy bear and he quickly laughed, wrapping his arms around you.

“I love this,” he laughed. “Where did you find it?”

“A shop round my house,” you giggled. “I couldn’t resist when I saw it.”

“Thank you,” he smiled kissing your head.

“There’s more,” you said.

He took out his favorite candies and the tiny bag holding the bracelets you had gotten. He put the other items down as he opened up the drawstring bag to reveal the beaded bracelets. He smiled when he noticed your and his first initial with a + sign in between.

“I added that little touch,” you smiled. “We have matching ones... just like when we were younger.”

“I love you,” he smiled pressing a kiss to your lips.

“I love you, too,” you smiled widely.

After spending the rest of the day in bed, watching movies, and just spending sometime together. It was time for Harry’s plan to be activated. You got out of the shower to a large box waiting for you on the bed. Harry was getting ready in the guest room and let you get ready in his room. You walked over and saw a note on the box.

“Just a little something I thought you might like. Feel free to wear it tonight. Love, H.”

You smiled opening the box and saw the most beautiful dress if you have seen at least in person. It was a little different than what you normally purchase for yourself, but you were looking forward to putting it on. You laid it out on the bed and of course, you needed shoes to pair it with. You did bring a few pairs of shoes, so hopefully you had a pair that looked okay with the dress.

But before you worried about that, you went back into the bathroom to finish up your hair and makeup. Working from home, you hardly ever put on makeup and even if you did, it was only a little bit. But you really did like the moments you could go all out with your hair and makeup.

Once you were done with that, you walked over to your suitcase taking out the shoes you had brought with you. Luckily, you had one pair that looked decent enough with the dress. You slipped the dress on and it surprisingly it fit perfectly, you were always nervous about getting clothes from other people because women’s clothing always fits differently based on brand and style from some reason, so it can be pain.

Anyway, you waited until you had the shoes on before looking at yourself in the mirror. Your lips turned into this wide smile because you felt absolutely beautiful. Not that you didn’t think you weren’t beautiful before, but this was one of those moments where you saw yourself as a different type of beautiful.

“Y/N, I’m heading down to make sure the driver’s on his way, you almost ready?” he asked.

“Yeah, I’ll be down in a bit,” you smiled.

You waited until you heard his footsteps leave and walk down the stairs before you opened the door to follow him. He was on the phone with his back turned to you as you made your way down. Before you got to the bottom, you cleared your throat.

He turned around, phone still at his ear and his eyes went wide. He quickly ended the call and walked towards you.

“You look... wow,” he whispered.

“Good wow or bad wow?” you laughed.

“Both,” he laughed.

You cocked your head to the side, “What?”

“Good because you look amazing, bad because you look amazing and I don’t exactly want to leave the house,” he laughed taking your hand as you walk down the stairs.

“Did we just have a Titanic moment?” You giggled.

“A small one,” he laughed. “Care to reenact the drawing and car scene later?”

“Oh, I already plans for later,” you smirked.

“Do you now?” He asked, raising an eyebrow.

“Yep,” you said. “Now, let’s go before we’re late.”

“Why did I make reservations again?” He groaned.

“Because you love me and want to take me out to a big fancy dinner,” you smirked.

“Right, right,” he laughed. “The driver’s here anyway.”

“No getting drunk,” you said.

“I don’t get drunk,” he scoffed.

“I’m sure one phone call to Jeff can debunk that statement of yours,” you added.

“You’re one to talk about getting drunk,” he said.

“That was one time! and it was your fault, might I add,” you said.

“How was I supposed to know they were my Mum’s wine coolers and not juice,” he said.

“We were fifteen,” you said.

“I was naive,” he said.

“And the lie detector determine that was lie,” you joked.

“Oh whatever! You were the one who kept drinking them, even after we figured it out,” he said.

“They were refreshing, okay,” you said.

He laughed kissing your head as the two of you got inside the car.

The restaurant was located on a hill overlooking the ocean. You were worried about it being packed with other couples for the holiday, but surprisingly it wasn't too bad. Harry placed his hand on your lower back as the two of you followed the hostess to your table. It was in the very back of the restaurant, in the corner facing the window with an ocean view.

“Wow, this place it gorgeous,” you smiled.

“And the food is good, too,” he said. “Definitely worth it.”

“How expensive are we talking?” You winced.

“Don’t worry about it,” he said.

You give him a look, but he grabbed your hand, “Don’t worry about it.”

“Okay, okay,” you said, squeezing his hand.

After a few minutes, you both order and sip on your drinks.

“Oh, I forgot to thank you for the dress,” you smiled. “I love it.”

“You’re welcome,” he smiled.

“I feel bad now though. You did all this and I only got you a teddy bear and cheesy bracelets,” you said.

“Don’t be,” he said. “The dress was just something extra. And I love my gifts.”

When you were finished with your meal, you and Harry decided to take a walk on the beach while you waited for your driver to pick you up. Harry carried your shoes in one hand and held your hand with his other one. You smiled wrapping his arm around your shoulder.

“It’s so beautiful here,” you said. “Even at night.”

“Yeah, it is,” he nodded. “But it’s not home.”

“Yeah, I get what you mean,” you smiled.

“Speaking of home,” he said. “I have something I want to ask you.”

“Oh boy, what it is?” You asked.

“Well, I started thinking... about us,” he said.

“And?” You asked.

“Would you... would you maybe want to uh... move in together when I go back home?” He asked.

“Really?” You asked. “You don’t think that’s too soon for us?”

“We’ve known each other our whole lives... I know we’ve only been in a relationship for a few months, but I love you and you love me. I’m ready for this, if you are. You don’t have to give me an answer right now-” he said.

You wrapped your arms around him and pressed your lips against his. “My answer is yes,” you whispered. “It’s always going to be yes with you.”

He smiled widely pressing his lips against yours again as the waves crashed at your feet.

You weren’t sure if it was the drinks at dinner finally kicking in or the thought of moving in together, but as soon as you and Harry were back at the house you were practically attached at the hip. Your arms were wrapped around him as he walked you back through the house and he kicked the door shut.

“Hm, bedroom?” you mumbled against his lips.

“Eventually, but I’ve got one more surprise for you,” he said.

“Ugh, fine,” you groaned removing yourself from him.

He kissed your pouted lips before putting his hands over your eyes, “No peeking,” he said.

“Remember, you just asked to move in together, surely you’re not wanting to kill me already,” you joked.

“Eh, not yet,” he smirked.

Harry helped lead you through the house and out into the backyard. The first thing you noticed was the soft sound of music playing in the background.

“Okay, open your eyes, love,” he whispered in your ear.

You weren't sure what you were opening your eyes to, but it was not anything compared to what you saw when you did. Red and white lights were strung along the backyard. Candles and roses were floating inside of the pool. There was a large cabana placed right into of a makeshift projector screen ready to play your favorite movie. There were blankets, snacks, and drinks all set up and ready to be eaten.

“You did this?” You smiled, looking over at him.

“I had help,” he smiled. “Do you like it?”

“I love it,” you smiled. “This is amazing and I can’t believe you this. When did you do this?”

“My help came while we were at dinner,” he smiled.

“Wow, I can’t believe you pulled this off,” you said.

“Hey, not sure if that’s an insult or complement,” he laughed.

“The latter,” you smiled. “We should probably go change. I don’t think wearing fancy dinner wear is suitable for this level of luxury.”

Both you and Harry changed, him in a pair of jogger pants and a hoodie, while you put on one of his hoodies over the lingerie you had on underneath your dress. Once changed, you both cuddled up in the blankets while snacking and watching the movie.

At the halfway mark, your mind had left the movie and was only focusing on your boyfriend who laid next to you. You wrapped your arm around his waist as you cuddled closer to him. You placed your leg on top of his and started kissing his neck.

“What are you doing?” he laughed.

“What do you think I’m doing?” You smirked turning to straddle him.

“Don’t you want to finish the movie?” He asked.

“I’ve seen it a hundred times. I know how it ends,” you said.

“Well, when you put it that way,” he shrugged leaning up to kiss you.

Your fingers found their way to his hair as the two of you kissed. His hands ran up along your legs as he deepened the kiss. Soon, you tugged on his hoodie, signaling him to take it off. He tossed it to the side and you smiled running your hands over his chest and shoulders.

“Now, off with yours,” he smirked. “It’s only fair.”

“Go ahead,” you said sitting back a bit.

His hands quickly found their way to the bottom of the hoodie, pulling it over your head. You counted in your head how long it took for him to realize what you were wearing underneath. You only managed to get to about one and half before he uttered a fuck under his breath.

“What was that?” you smirked.

“God, you’re so fucking hot,” he mumbled against your lips.

“Happy Valentine’s Day,” you giggled.

“Happy Valentine’s Day, indeed,” he laughed.

And that remained true for the rest of the night.

THE END! Hopefully you enjoyed it!

Don’t forget to send in any ideas or what you want to see happen for my AU series Sunflower! I hope to have the next part of that updated in the next few days. :)

#Harry Styles Imagines #Harry Styles Fanfiction #Harry Styles Fanfic #Harry Styles Fan Fic

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oikaw-ugh · 4 years

Text

HAIKYUU DEBATE NIGHT!!! (Inspired by Going Seventeen Debate Night)

*taps mic* Mic test? Mic test?

Akaashi: 1, 2, 3, 3, 2 , 1, 1, 2 ,3

Ahhh. They’re working. Good evening, Akaashi!

Akaashi: Yes, they are. Good evening to you, too, Leia. And to anyone who is watching this, good evening, morning, afternoon.

Ah, yes. Hello, viewers! This is Leia!

Akaashi: And Akaashi.

Us 2: ON HAIKYUU DEBATE NIGHT!

So, how are you, Akaashi? Are you feeling fine? Have you eaten your dinner? Do you feel uncomfortable? I have a better seat it’s called ‘my lap’-

Akaashi: I am fine. Yes. Yes. No. And I’d rather sit here, thank you. Why don’t we introduce our debaters for the night?

But you could really use my lap-

Akaashi: The debaters, Leia-chan.

Ah, right! Anyways! On the right we have:

SUGAWARA, ATSUMU, KENMA, OIKAWA, KAGEYAMA, AND TANAKA

Akaashi: And on the left we have:

BOKUTO, HINATA, TSUKISHIMA, USHIJIMA, KUROO, AND OSAMU

Alright! We have fully introduced our wonderful debaters for tonight! But before anything else, we would like to know their name as a group.

Akaashi: Right team, have you decided on a group name?

Oikawa: Ah, yes! The moment we knew we were in the same group…

Suga: We knew what to name ourselves c:

Atsumu: We will be called ‘Pretty setters plus a Wing Spiker’

Pretty Setters plus a Wing Spiker: 👁️👄👁️

Tanaka: In my humble opinion, I think tHAT GROUP NAME IS TRASH.

Kenma: *sigh*

WOOOW! I LOVE THE DYNAMICS OF THIS GROUP ALREADY! Oozing with unity and familiarity. Don’t you think, Akaashi?

Akaashi: …Yes. Now, to the left team. Have you decided on a group name?

Bokuto: YAH! WE HAVE DECIDED ON ONE! TSUKISHIMA WILL TELL YOU!

Tsukishima: Why me?

Kuroo: Come on now, don’t be shy. Tell them our group name!

Tsukishima: ….

Hinata: Come on now, Tsukishima! Say it! Say it!

Tsukishima: …. 3rd Gym Debaters.

Akaashi: 🙂

Ah…but quick question, though. Why?

Bokuto: OH! Because Kuroo, Tsukishima and I used to hang out at the 3rd gym a lot!

Ushijima: I played at Season 3.

Osamu: Hinata and I both have three syllables in our names. ✨

Everyone:

Tanaka: *suddenly feels fine with their group name*

Tanaka: *slight*

Akaashi: ….. 🙂🙂🙂

Wow. Logical and makes sense. Before anything else, Akaashi, would you please say what happens at Haikyuu Debate Night once again?

Akaashi: Right. Here in Haikyuu Debate Night we are going to talk about issues that we experience in our daily lives. We will have in-depth and logical debates about them.

And with that, Haikyuu Debate Night starts now!

Pretty Setters plus a Wing Spiker: *claps in a way a decent audience would clap*

Bokuto and Hinata: WOOOOOOH!

Kuroo and Osamu: *claps like a child*

Tsukishima and Ushijima: *too embarassed and too stoic to clap*

Just to make sure, I will state the rules:

This is a team-based debate

Each team take turns to restate their logical arguments.

Each team can counter other team’s logic and they can counter-counter-argue.

The debate will end when both teams have no logic.

Easy as 1, 2, 3!

Akaashi: Now, I’ll reveal the first topic: Supervision vs. Superhearing

Supervision gives you the ability to have superb vision to the extent that you can see through human’s pores - which I find disgusting, by the way. Whilst Superhearing gives you superb audio processing to the extent of hearing a person’s whisper who is 1 km away from you.

Akaashi: With the Pretty Setters with a Spiker in favor of Supervision and with the 3rd Gym Debaters in favor of Superhearing.

The debate starts with the 3rd Gym Debaters’ arguement.

Hinata: First of all, when you have superhearing, this helps in volleyball! With this, even when the setter hasn’t called for you, you immediately know they’re calling for you!

Kageyama: But superhearing only grants you to hear anything that is 1 km away from you, not somebody else’s thoughts, dumbass.

Hinata: 😡

Hinata: You’re right.

Hinata: But still! If I can hear someone who is 1 km away from me, shouldn’t I be able to hear someone else’s thoughts who is a couple of meters near me?!

Tsukishima: Oh my God. 🤦‍♂️🤦‍♂️🤦‍♂️

Kageyama: What?

Atsumu: Yer honor, the moment this tangerine spoke, this debate has lost its logic!

Akaashi: You know-

Kuroo: Your honor, let me redeem what my co-debater has said!

Kuroo: *stands abruptly*

Kenma: Here he goes...

Kuroo: What he’s trying to say is, imagine yourself in the court. And everyone is so intense to the point they mutter their thoughts out loud. Now, imagine your setter wanting to do a synchronized attack to surprise the opponents. The setter wouldn’t need hand signals or whatever.

Bokuto: Yeah! All the setter needs to do is *whispers* synchronized attack! And the team would immediately know!

Tanaka: Oh, he’s got a point-

Kenma: But that can also happen if you have supervision. Your vision would be enough to immediately sense the slightest difference of how your setter would be tossing.

Kuroo: Ah-

Bokuto: Oh, shit. He’s right.

Osamu: But wouldn’t supervision be overwhelming? I mean, everything around you is a hundred times clearer than how you usually see them. What if you get overwhelmed with how ugly Tsumu is at court-

Atsumu: You piece of-

Osamu: Then supervision wouldn’t be as effective as superhearing, don’t ya think?

Kuroo: Right! I was about to blurt that out. 👀 *he didn’t really think of that*

Kenma: I see where Atsumu’s brain cells went.

Atsumu: Excuse me? 😲😲😲

Okaaaay we’re kind of drifting away from the debate, aren’t we? 3rd Gym Debators, any more arguments?

Kuroo: None, your honor.

Akaashi: I’ve been trying to correct this but we’re only moderators, Kuroo-san.

Right. Now, Pretty Setters plus a Wing Spiker, it is time to present your arguments.

Sugawara: Kenma has emphasized this out but supervision can come very handy such as how the team can use it to their advantage at court. However, supervision can also be very effective for other things.

Sugawara: For example, what if you’re trying to read the person beside you at the bus’ text? With supervision, reading it wouldn’t be as hard-

Osamu: Wait, are you saying you’re using your supervision for the wrong cause-

Osamu, please respect the speaker of Pretty Setters and a Spiker. Rebutting is banned for now.

Osamu: w h a t 👁️👄👁️

Tanaka: I still don’t like the group name-

Sugawara: With my supervision, I can immediately know if the person I am beside with is having a fight with their loved one! Or they’re cooking ramen for dinner. How convenient, right?

Oikawa: Right!

Atsumu: True.

Kenma: ….

Tanaka: It sounds wrong but it is definitely, right!

Tsukishima: How is invasion of privacy right-

Sugawara: I rest my case!

Tsukishima: hOW IS-

Akaashi: Okay, 3rd Gym Debaters, you may now counter-argue Pretty Setters’ argument.

Tanaka: It’s Pretty Setter with a-

Bokuto: Your honor!

Tanaka: OI LISTEN TO M-

Bokuto: *reading on his paper without pauses* Allow me to show to you why supervision is a necessity, and is sensible and more practical than supervision! Superhearing can make me hear things louder and clearer!

Everyone:

Everyone: And?

Bokuto: That would mean I can hear the cheers of the crowd for me and even those who are 1 ki-meter away from me!

Akaashi: It’s 1 kilo-

Bokuto: That would mean I can hear Hinata’s cheers for me even if I am in Tokyo! 😊

Everyone:

Tsukishima: *facepalm* I’m sure Miyagi and Tokyo is not just 1 kilometer apart-

Kuroo: Shhh! You’re ruining our argument!

Bokuto: 😊😊😊

Ah…Is that all, Bokuto-san?

Bokuto: Yes. 😊😊😊

Ah…thank you. *clears throat* Okay, Pretty Setters?

Tanaka: I TOLD YOU, IT’S-

Oikawa: Your honor, I would just like to counter-argue Bokuto’s statement. How is hearing people’s cheers a necessity, Bokuto-san?

Bokuto: Well, it’s-

Oikawa: See? It does nothing. Can hearing other people’s cheers help you as you play? No. It can only rile you up. But do you know what it really needs to be good at playing?

Oikawa: *stands dramatically and goes towards the center*

Hinata: Good jump?

Kageyama: Good set.

Oikawa: Almost there, King.

Atsumu: Good hair?

Tanaka: Kiyoko-san.

Ushijima: Talent-

Oikawa: I don’t want to hear that from you.

Suga: Good teammates?

Oikawa: Almost there, Mr. Refreshing-chan.

Kenma:

Tsukishima:

Osamu: …I was gonna say skills but-

Oikawa: B O O M ! Exactly! Good skills! What’s the cheering going to do if you suck at playing and you can only receive by using your chest?

Tsukishima: OOMF-

Kenma: Pfft.

Osamu: That was uncalled for!

Oikawa: 💅

Bokuto: A-Akaashi…

Akaashi: I’m a moderator, I’m sorry.

Hinata: *loud gasp* 👁️👄👁️

Kuroo: That’s gotta sting.

Oikawa: Back to my point! What do you need for you to have good skills? *snaps* G o o d e y e s i g h t . 💅

Tanaka: *Gasps like he just invented the cure to this pandemic* Right!

Atsumu: Oh, shit. That’s true. *Matrix moment*

Oikawa: *flicks hair* I think I have proven my point on point. And with that, I rest my case. *goes back to his chair* 💅

Okay! Thank you for that Oikawa, love. Now, for the 3rd Gym Debaters.

Ushijima: *stands* Your hono-

Oikawa: AD HOMINEM!

Ushijima: I haven’t said anything yet.

Oikawa: Your presence alone is attacking me!

Tsukishima: Now, that’s ad hominem.

Oikawa: nOw tHat’S aD hOmInEM

Suga: Tsukki >=[

Tsukishima:

Akaashi: Anyway, Ushijima-san, please continue.

Ushijima: Right. Your honor, I would like to add to my co-debaters points. First of all, the other party is only focusing their arguments to how effective supervision would be if you are on court. Well, I would like to emphasize how effective superhearing can be even off court.

Kenma:

Kageyama: *is all ears because he respects Ushijima*

Sugawara: I’m sorry. Mr. Volleyball-is-life is gonna talk about using superhearing without the mention of volleyball?

Ushijima: First, superhearing is very useful when it comes to helping other people. Even if I am busy trimming the grass or harvesting the crops, I can hear someone’s cries no matter how faint they could be.

Oikawa: Are you a farmer-

Ushijima: I can also use it as a pre-caution. With my superhearing, I can hear when a truck is about to hit me or an arrow is flying towards me. It can also help me when I accidentally lost Tendo at the grocery store. But most importantly… *flipping page*

Pretty Setters Squad and a Wing Spiker: …

Ushijima: It can help me locate other players’ breathing when playing hide and seek.

Pretty Setters Squad plus a Wing Spiker:

Kenma: Anti-climatic.

Tsukishima: *deep sigh*

Akaashi:

Ah…thank you, Ushijima-san. That was…sensible. Pretty Setters?

Kageyama: *stands up stiffly* Y-Yes!

Suga and Tanaka: *claps*

Oikawa: *rolls eyes*

Atsumu: *whistle* Go, goody-two shoes!

Hinata: *sits properly*

Tsukishima: Another idiot-

Kageyama: I-I am here to defend my house’s stand! *flips page* I am here to point or to present some major flaws if you choose superhearing! F-First! It is considered as an invasion of privacy! What if you hear someone confessing under your 1 kilometer radius? And you hear them getting rejected? You are then violating that person’s privacy!

Hinata: But-

Kageyama: I’m not yet done, idiot!

Oikawa: He’s not yet done, shrimp!

Note: they screamed that together.

Hinata: 🥺🥺🥺

Kageyama: T-Two…superhearing can be very overwhelming. What if you are in the middle of the city? Surrounded by the crowd, specifically. how can you focus or how can you stop yourself from hearing them?

Kageyama: Also, you cannot block superhearing BUT you can block supervision by closing your eyes!

Hinata: But we can block it by listening to music!

Oikawa: What? Are you saying you’re gonna listen to music for the rest of your life just because of your superhearing? 💅

Tsukishima: *yawn* What about supervision then? You’re gonna close your eyes for the rest of your lives?

Oikawa: That’s…

Pretty Setters with a Spiker: 👁️👄👁️

Tanaka: But at least closing your eyes is not as dumb-looking as plugging earphones for the rest of your life!

Tsukishima: *triggered*

Atsumu: OOMF

Akaashi: Okay, hush, everyone. 3rd gym debaters?

Osamu: Your honor, allow me to end this debate once and for all.

Kenma: That would mean you ran out of logic-

Osamu: One! Superhearing is very convenient. I can hear a single whisper as long as it is 1 kilometer near me. You whisper you ran out of paper while you’re at the grocery story? Don’t worry, I’m on my way to give you some!

Sugawara: What-

Atsumu: They can just buy at-

Osamu: You’re a teacher and you forgot to tell the class about their homework? Worry not! I heard you and let me tell my classmates on yer behalf.

Osamu: You think Atsumu is ugly? I will look for you from the crowd and I’d tell you “Lmao ikr.”

Atsumu: What the fu-

Kuroo: PLUS! PLUS, PLUS, PLUS!

Kuroo: *stands up from sitting* What good will your superhearing give you if…

Pretty Setters and a Spiker: ….?

3rd Gym Debaters: ….?

Akaashi and I: ….?

Kuroo: If you can’t hear how my heart beats for you?

Sugawara and Oikawa: *groans*

Kenma: *disgusted look*

Atsumu: 👁️👄👁️

Kageyama: *blushing idk why tho*

Tanaka: …. *Wonders if Kiyoko-san would hate him if he couldn’t hear her heartbeat*

Hinata: *mindblowned like a 10 yr old who saw porn for the 1st time*

Tsukishima: *pukes in virtual*

Bokuto: *gasp* KUROO, THAT WAS SO GOOD! I KNEW IT’S GOOD THAT WE’RE IN THE SAME TEAM

Osamu: *confused boner*

Ushijima: *didn’t understand why everyone is so surprised when what Kuroo said is true*

Kuroo: *places finger on temple* Let that fact sink in.

Bokuto: *still mindblown*

Pretty Setters plus a Spiker?

Atsumu: Yer honor, supervision is WAY MORE convenient. It can help me with it, I can easily locate the ball! I can easily find the other pair of my shoe, ye know? I can clearly see how Osamu is way more stupid than me-

Ah, Tsumu, we don’t tolerate lies in this debate.

Atsumu:

Suga: That’s right, Tsumu. Don’t lie.

Atsumu: 👁️👄👁️

Osamu: PFFT

Akaashi: *is confused whether to laugh or to feel pity*

Atsumu: That’s mean.

Atsumu: WITH SUPERVISION, I wouldn’t lost my mother at the grocery store! Also, I can immediately find my teammates who are playing a prank on me. I also have the advantage in hide and seek!

Ushijima: I can hear the other players’ breathing-

Atsumu: Plis don’t expose how weird of a person ye are, dood.

Ushijima:

Kenma: *grin*

Tanaka: *raises hand*

Yes, Tanaka-san?

Tanaka: To counter Kuroo’s claim though...what good would it bring if I can hear your heart beat if I can’t see your worth?

Pretty Setters plus a Spiker:

Atsumu: Holy shit. That’s some cool angst. *places left hand on waist and right hand on chin*

Oikawa: *looks away as he surprisingly felt that*

Kenma: What...

Kageyama: *is blushing again idk why*

Suga: I--I am---I *chokes*

Kuroo: *silent because that shit hurted*

Hinata: *mindblowned like a 10 yr old who saw porn for the 1st time* (2)

Ushijima: *knew about this fact not too long ago so this does not surprise him*

Osamu: *confused sad boner*

Tsukishima: *is done*

Bokuto: WHY ARE YOU NOT ON MY TEAM?!?!? THAT WAS GOOD, TOO!

That got me thinking, too...

Akaashi: *silent because he is analyzing*

Tanaka: *suddenly feeling proud* nOw, LeT tHaT fAcT sInK iN...

OKAY! Kenma and Tsukki, any thoughts? You have been silent the whole duration of this debate.

Kenma: *disgusted face* I’d rather not.

Tsukishima: I refuse to partake in this idiotic debate.

Akaashi: *totally understands the setters’ decision*

Well...ummm...okay...So I guess both teams have lost their logic?

Akaashi: Right.

So! WHO DO YOU THINK WON THIS ARGUMENT? IS IT THE PRETTY SETTERS WITH A SPIKER? OR 3RD GYM DEBATORS?

Akaashi: Please leave your thoughts and your votes on the comments down below.

Once again, this is Leia.

Akaashi: And Akaashi.

Both: Your moderators and this is: DEBATE NIGHT!

also everyone: *still feeling angsty with Tanaka’s statement*

also Tsukki and Kenma: Finally, it’s done!

-END BECAUSE I HAVE NO CLUE WHAT TO WRITE NEXT LMAO-

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