#or the times when i've looked at the cis men around me and realized not only do i not talk like them but that i don't really want to

[cardentist]

op turned off reblogs on this post [Link], so I'm reposting this over here:

it's Extremely Unfortunate that we're at the point in trans masc exclusionism where we have to be hyper vigilant against seemingly innocuous posts.

when the op of this post says "men" in this post she means trans men.

trans men who present masc before (and sometimes during and after) hrt are often clocked as butch lesbians, because they are seen as feminine bodies presenting masculinely.

while there Are cis men who present similarly to butch lesbians (there's a very famous meme about it), how many cis men do you know that are Actively Trying or Want to present like butch lesbians?

or how about the Not Insignificant Overlap between trans mascs And butch lesbians (and lesbians in general)? the amount of trans mascs who identified as lesbians before they knew, who sometimes continue to feel a connection to that community as they realize more about their identity.

when op says "transandrophobia truthers" are the exact group of people this post was made about he's talking about trans mascs. this is a post saying that Trans Mascs aren't The Real Thing. and more specifically, the "transandrophobia truther" dog whistle refers back to trans mascs who stand up for themselves. who want their trauma to be taken seriously, who want to be treated like equals within the community. [Link]

it is a derogatory term that was specifically created by exclusionists to belittle trans mascs who speak up for themselves. it is Explicitly About trans mascs, and yet it's a term that people who are unfamiliar with the harassment happening towards trans mascs won't recognize.

and the nasty thing about it is that op was Intentionally trying to make a jab to hurt and belittle trans mascs while Framing it as a support post for trans and lesbian women. people who don't Already Know are going to interact with this post thinking that it's Only a positivity post.

thinking that it's just a silly little post punching up at cishet society.

when it's transphobia pointed at trans masc people.

I've said it before, but all exclusionism on this site is the same. it's the Exact Same tactics used over and over and over again, just with different targets.

and you saw Exactly this technique with ace exclusion All The Time. make a post that seems silly and lighthearted on the surface, that's Worded like it's referring to a privileged group, so that people pass it around without thinking about it.

but the Undercurrent, is a coded message to hurt a specific minority group, to hurt the target that's Familiar Enough with their own exclusion to read the intended insult.

and by Coding It, by making it a dog whistle instead of making it explicit, it Seems like more people support their position than they do (furthering the feeling of isolation in their victims). and works to help Normalize their talking points as they slowly become more explicit (intending to convert more people).

with asexuals it was "cishets trying to invade queer spaces," with trans mascs it's "men trying to invade trans/women's spaces."

it's intuitive that queer people punch up at cishets, it's Intuitive that trans people and women punch up at men, and That's The Point.

if the op of this post hadn't Explicitly referred to trans mascs in the notes ("transandrophobia truthers"), then I probably wouldn't have figured out what they were doing. I would've felt put off by it (as I was intended to, as it was created with the explicit intent to make people like me feel uncomfortable), but I wouldn't have had reason to look further into it. I probably would've just brushed it off and moved on.

unfortunately the only way around it is hypervigilence (learning the dog whistles, familiarizing yourself with how exclusionists talk about their victims), and hoping that the hand was tipped somewhere. hoping that the people who do this give away what their real Intent was.

and it's frustrating because the Vast Majority of the notes on the original post are just people having fun. who saw a post about trans butch lesbians and got excited and happy. and it's So Gross to see someone weaponize that.

it's unfair that people Need to be hypervigilent about posts About Them. it's one of the more upsetting aspects About exclusionism.

#discourse #exclusionism #transphobia #transandrophobia #queer unity #I do think the fact that op immediately locked down #means that I was right on the money #not that it was up for debate #because they said what they meant outright themselves for free

[olderthannetfic]

I have really mixed feelings about the small proportion of F/F fiction (original or fanfic), because yeah sure, people have their desires, they should write what they want, I get it. It all works out when I hear it from person to person. But somehow the logic only ever applies in one direction? "There are more male protagonists because men only care about male characters! Women also mostly care about male characters, because that's the majority of characters they get!" And then somehow we also yet kvetch when men write female characters (because it's incorrectly or something, nevermind if women are writing male characters correctly). Why don't we expect gay men to feel compelled only by femslash for the same reasons (but gender swapped) as the lesbian slashers/fujoshi? All of those very rational justifications are applied selectively, "for me for not for thee," and it all only leads to "idk I just don't wanna write femslash", for Reasons. Do we get to call them microaggressions yet?

--

No, you don't get to call other people's fantasy life a microaggression.

That is indeed "for me but not for thee" in the sense that you get to want what you want but other people aren't supposed to follow their id.

Do you also police gay men who spend too much time on drag and obsessing over female divas? That's an actual real world behavior that's somewhat equivalent. It frequently goes unchallenged, at least by progressives, because men are allowed to do whatever they want with chick stuff, while women are "stealing" if they dare to stray into dude stuff.

(God, I've seen so much more policing of drag kings being ~problematic~ for acting out stereotypical gender than policing of drag queens for the same. It's nuts!)

Fujoshi are often queer, but it's absurd to think we're mostly lesbians. We tend to be bi or asexual women with gender stuff going on, though there is a mix of everybody, including lesbians. There are also a lot of AFAB non-women who get lumped in with us. On the rare occasions I find a man willing to admit to being a similar demographic, he usually does like gender play in his hobbies and entertainment. It's just that men face even more pressure than women do to fit into tidy categories. Bi women get told we're whores. Bi men are told they don't exist.

Yes, I know plenty of lesbians who write more m/m than f/f, but in the big picture of all of AO3 or all of fanfic or all of media, they aren't the demographic driving these numbers. They're vastly outnumbered by the bi women, the asexual women, and the straight and gnc women.

The men we should be looking at as an equivalent aren't cis gay men but bicurious soy boys and the like.

Do most of us fujoshi object to equivalent men doing an equivalent thing? I've seen it sometimes, and I agree it's hypocritical. I'd like us to afford men the same ability to play and take on identities in their art. I remember enjoying Ranma fandom back in the day and reading quite a lot of f/f that was probably by men. It had some of that same sense of distance and fantasy that I so enjoy in m/m aimed at fujoshi. (I do consume some by-cis-gay, for-cis-gay content, both m/m and f/f, but it's often too literal and too bound up in specific named identities for my taste.)

On average, the people I see complaining most about men producing f/f material are the same people who think that because I have a clit, I should center my life around women exclusively. In other words, people spouting radfem ideology, perhaps on purpose or perhaps without realizing.

I do agree that some of the ways of expressing a lack of desire to write femslash can get pretty douchey. I want us to move away from some of the less accurate ones like "There are no compelling female characters" because of this.

But the reason for all these jerkass explanations is that women and people perceived as women who like m/m are constantly asked to explain ourselves. These aren't usually microaggressions: they're openly hostile. People get defensive and try to answer with important-sounding reasons about identity and pain because society at large won't accept "I like this" as the true explanation.

Pleasure is never enough of a reason for a woman to do something.

[ms-demeanor]

i really liked OJST in the mid-2010s but i didn’t stop reading cause of the cuck comic - wasn’t there also a comic erika moen wrote about (functionally) harassing lesbians with her now-husband?

In the mid 2010s closet-keys criticized one of Erika Moen's early diary comics and described Erika Moen as "Reassuring a cishet partner that it’s totally okay to use hate speech towards wlw at Pride" and condoning the harassment and fetishization of lesbians because of a 2007 comic that she had made as part of a webcomic she had written about gender and her interactions with her queerness.

The hate speech in question is the partner asking "are you sure you want to hold my hand with all these dykes around?" while they are pretty clearly at a Dyke Day event during pride, and the reassurance that 'it's totally okay to use hate speech toward wlw' is Erika responding "sweetie, I'm proud to be with you."

The comic is still up with a disclaimer that it was written at a different time, and I know that's probably not going to fly with a lot of people but if you were a bi woman in the early to mid 2000s it was pretty common to use statements like "lol yeah i'm into women my boyfriend is fine with it as long as I take pictures" to diffuse the biphobia from straight people AND to say shit like "I'm not a party bi, I actually love pussy, thanks" to diffuse the biphobia from queer people. (if you were a bi guy in the early to mid 2000s i'm sorry and I'm sorry now because we got LUG but that mostly went away and you *still* have to deal with the "gay in waiting" bullshit).

That comic ends with Erika and her partner looking at a woman and saying "I'd totally do her" while the woman thinks "pigs" and if you think that means that they literally sat on the street and vocally commented about lesbians passing by them or that they condone harassing lesbians (in, I cannot stress this enough, a diary comic written by someone in their early twenties who is realizing they are occasionally interested in some men some of the time after identifying as a lesbian their whole life), then I'm gonna go ahead and recommend signing up for some variety or other of literary analysis class. Do we think that Erika is seriously implying that she is going to make her boyfriend gay if she fucks him in this comic from a year later?

If this comic bothers you and you see it as a straight-passing couple giving the go-ahead to harass lesbians, you do you, I'm not saying you have to read the comic or enjoy Erika Moen.

I am saying it's a bit of a stretch, though, and certainly the least charitable explanation possible, and that we should probably give people some space to say awkward things about their sexuality and to make missteps when discussing it in their early twenties and not call them lesbophobic fifteen years after the fact for a college comic.

Moen also gets called transphobic because she has described trans men as adorable/cute in a way that could be read as patronizing in one comic and because she made a comic about wearing a packer for fun and for sexual gratification with her cis male partner as a cis woman.

Appropriately, all of these things feel very "late twenty teens tumblr callout post."

If it bugs you, you don't have to read the comics but I've talked about Moen before and I've gotten the anons in my inbox calling me lesbophobic for recommending her comic when in 2007 she made a comic about catcalling lesbians and condoning street harassment.

Which is frustrating because Erika Moen writes a comic about sex toys that has incredible body and gender diversity and is interested in making sure that people of all sexualities are having safe, enjoyable sex and talking openly about it. This is Rebecca Sugar condones war crimes level discourse over a creator who makes a genuinely good comic and gets dismissed as cringe by people who hate open discussions of sex and gets dismissed as a bigot (in ways that I think are incredibly unfair given the vast majority of her work) among people who *claim* to love open discussions of sex but who *actually* love witch hunts.

[archangeldyke-all]

Have u ever done amab sevika getting her ass eat or her being really needy for her gfs strap?

hehehe, i've done sub-top amab ceo sevika, but i haven't done bottom ceo sevika yet!

disclaimer! im cis, so please lmk if there are any mistakes and ill fix it asap!

men and minors dni

"when was the last time you got high?" you ask.

sevika looks up from her book with an eyebrow raised as she shifts her attention to you on the other side of bed. you've got a mischievous look in your eye, and it makes her smile.

"why?" she asks. you shrug.

"i dunno. i've known you for about a year now, and we've been dating for a few months, but i just realized i've never seen you high." you say. sevika considers this, chewing on her cheek before she speaks.

"it's been a while. probably since before i became ceo." she says. you hum.

"we should probably do something to change that." you tease. sevika smiles, throwing her book onto her bedside table before reaching over and pulling you into her arms, curling her body around yours.

you giggle as she adjusts your body, waiting for her to get comfortable before you wrap your arms around her.

"how's this weekend sound?" you ask. sevika nods against your tits.

"you gonna smoke me out?" she asks. you giggle.

"no, i don't want to stink your place up. i'll get us edibles, it'll be fun." you say. sevika just hums as she nuzzles against you, ready to go to sleep.

"sounds like a plan, baby." she mumbles. you snort and elbow her.

"don't fall asleep, you didn't turn the lights off yet!"

sevika groans dramatically as she pulls herself off of you and over to her little nightstand. she flicks the lamp off, then jumps back on top of you, both of you giggling as you adjust in each other's arms.

you guys share a chocolate bar on saturday morning.

sevika swears that she doesn't feel anything for the first two hours, and you just roll your eyes at your stubborn girlfriend.

by the time lunch rolls around, though, she's definitely starting to feel it. you can tell.

her eyes are hooded, and a soft smile's taken over her features. she's still in her sleep-wrinkled pajamas, and when she starts giggling at nothing, you know it's kicked in.

you're no better than her, but you're a little more used to the feeling. you grin as you watch sevika snicker, nudging her with your toe.

"you feeling it?" you ask. sevika smiles at you.

"nah." she says. you burst into laughter.

"yeah fuckin' right!" you laugh. sevika smiles a goofy grin at you and she crawls across the couch to flop on top of you, nuzzling her nose against your neck. you hum as you start scratching her scalp.

"mmm... you're so warm..." she hums as she slides her hand under your shirt to grope your tits. you giggle.

"you're cute." you sigh.

"you're cute. everything feels so good right now." sevika sighs happily. "thanks for getting me high."

you laugh. "anytime, baby." you promise, kissing her scalp.

you enjoy the moment for a while. sunlight is seeping through the windowed walls of sevika's penthouse, bathing the two of you in warmth and light. you're feeling floaty and content, and there's nowhere you need to be, nothing you need to do. the break is nice.

but after a while, sevika's breath starts to even out, and you know she's on the verge of falling asleep. you'd be happy to take a mid-afternoon weekend nap with your girl, but you don't want the edible to go to waste.

"hey." you say, nudging her from where she lays on top of you. she grunts against you. "don't sleep. we should do something fun." you say. sevika grunts again. "we could watch tv?" you suggest. sevika shakes her head. "i could make you a snack?" this gets her attention, and she lifts her head up from your tits to consider this.

you watch in adoration as sevika hazily tries to make up her mind about what she wants to eat, gnawing on her bottom lip while she thinks. you can't help but reach up and cup her cheek as she considers your offer. she leans into it automatically, nuzzling your palm.

an impish expression takes over her face as her eyes catch on yours, and she smiles. "what do i need a snack for when i've already got you?" she asks. you giggle. "get it?" she asks, giggling herself. "'cause you're a snack, babe." she explains. you laugh.

"i got it sev." you say. she grins, and swoops down to press her mouth against yours.

she's more uncoordinated than usual, and you are too. time's moving slower than usual, and it feels like you could build a whole life in the span of your kiss.

you hum happily as you wrap your arms around your girlfriend, dragging her closer and closer to you until she's flat on top of you, slowly grinding her hips against yours.

when you finally pull away from her lips, you gasp for are, suddenly aware of how long you'd been kissing. "should we--" you cut yourself off with a gasp as sevika starts to suck a hickey into your neck. "should we go to the bedroom?" you ask.

sevika doesn't answer you with words. instead, she shoves her arms under your ass, then pulls up off the couch, carrying you to the bedroom with her head still buried against your neck.

you giggle and wrap your limbs around her body. at the sound of your laughter, sevika starts to giggle too, and by the time she throws the two of you onto the bed, you've both dissolved into a fit of laughter.

"fuck, where did you get that edible?" sevika laughs. you grin, taking advantage of her giggly, pliant state to pin her to the bed as you straddle her.

"seamus makes 'em once a month." you say. sevika falls into another round of laughter at the secret-- her nerdiest, awkwardest accountant is a huge fucking stoner.

"i should fire him." she giggles. you laugh.

"what for!?"

"for not givin' me one of these before." she says. you chuckle, and sit back on your haunches to watch your girlfriend laugh.

she's so pretty. you're high and she looks like... like a sunset. or the ocean. or your favorite movie. you just can't pull your eyes away.

she's got her head thrown back as she laughs, her eyes crinkled up and her gap-tooth on full display.

her shirt's ridden up a bit, the hem resting over her bellybutton, just high enough for you to see the first few inches of her happy trail. her abs are contracting with each of her laughs, her hands are scrunched up into the blankets beneath her, and you're suddenly overcome with lust.

it hits you like a truck. you've been turned on since she started kissing you, but now you're ravenous. you can't think beyond the woman in front of you, and you're dying to show her what she does to you.

she's still giggling, wiping tears from her eyes, and you surge forward, tearing at her shirt.

sevika gasps at your sudden desperation to get her naked, but you shut her up by shoving your fingers in her mouth before she can even ask. she moans as you tear at her pants with your free hand, your mouth otherwise occupied with sucking on her tits.

sevika's shivering beneath you, moaning around your fingers and trying to kick her pajama pants off. you pull off of her tit with a pop, taking your fingers out of her mouth so you can sit up and hover over her.

her eyes are blown and big, and she seems to have forgotten she has arms, her hands clutching the blanket beneath her instead of reaching up to grope you like they usually do.

"can i make you feel good?" you ask. sevika gulps and nods.

"yes please." you grin-- sevika's kinda subby when she's high. you think fondly, tucking that information away for later.

"tell me what you want."

"your mouth." she whimpers. you grin, kissing her on the cheek before you quickly trail kisses down her chest, taking a second to lovingly bite at each of her tits before you lick all the way down her happy trail, tugging her boxers off as you go.

sevika has such a pretty dick. you could look at it all day long, honestly. you feel yourself clench around nothing as you watch it flop out of her boxers, eager to be free, and smack her abs.

her hips are squirming beneath you, but she's patient as you study her. her cock's twitching in time with her heartbeat, and a tiny little pool of pre-cum's forming on her abs. you lick your lips.

"i love you." you sigh. sevika whimpers, and her dick spurts a little bit more pre. you grin.

"i love you too." she whines. you kiss her hip.

"say please." you say, just because you've never seen her so sweet and compliant in bed before, and you wanna see how far you can take it.

"please please please ple--"

"i got you, baby." you cut her off. she sighs in relief, and you smile, pressing a kiss to the tip of her dick. she twitches and whines, and you decide to stop teasing her, finally taking her into your mouth.

sevika cries in relief, and you reach up to intertwine your fingers with hers. she squeezes your hand.

you sink your head down, taking her a good six inches before pulling back up and trying again. with a few bobs of your head, you manage to relax enough to take her all the way. she whines, a pathetic, high pitched thing, and you blink up at her. she gasps as your eyes meet.

your drool starts to collect around her shaft, and you pull off to jack her off for a second while you breathe. you smile at her.

"you taste amazing." you sigh. sevika shivers, humping her hips up into the air and widening her legs. you laugh, taking the hint, and put your mouth back on her cock.

she fucks your mouth with a few quick thrusts, and you gag, caught off guard. eventually she settles back down, letting you pull off and glare at her. she just giggles.

fine. if she wants to play dirty, you can play dirty.

you duck down and suck her balls into your mouth, and sevika gasps, her legs scrambling while her thighs twitch.

"fuck! cut it out!" she whines.

"why? you gonna cum already?" you tease. she huffs, digging her nails into your hand, squirming beneath you.

you would go on teasing her if your mind didn't just screech to a halt as you catch a glimmer of something between her legs.

"what the fuck was that?" you growl as you spread and pin her legs to the bed. she gasps, sitting propped up on her elbows so she can gawk at you.

"what?" she asks, panicked. you can't answer-- too busy taking in the mindbogglingly hot image of a pretty pink butt-plug in your girlfriend's ass. without your words readily available, you just answer sevika's question by tugging on the little jewel.

she gasps and collapses on the bed, her eyes rolling back in her skull. "fuck i forgot i put that there." she says. you giggle.

"you forgot?" you tease, suddenly able to talk again. sevika reaches up to hide her face, clearly embarrassed. you bite her thigh and she jolts.

"i put it in this morning." she explains. "weed makes me..." she trails off.

you grin at the half-revelation and tug at the plug again, watching in fascination as her dick jumps.

"can i fuck you?" you ask.

sevika moans, her hips flying off the bed, and you giggle.

"is that a yes?"

"please!" she cries.

"get on all fours, i'll go put the strap on."

sevika scrambles to follow your directions, but you stop her before she can get far. "wait!" you call. she freezes, and you duck down to lick up the little pool of pre that had formed on her abs, then kiss the skin. "okay, you can go now." you say. sevika grins, and you kiss her cheek as you scramble off the bed to get strapped up.

you fumble with your harness, watching as sevika slowly, seductively turns over on bed before lifting her hips up to present her ass to you. you laugh.

"you're such a slut." you chastise. sevika giggles as she rests her head against her folded forearms.

"you like me like this." she says. you giggle and nod.

"damn right i do." you say as you crawl behind her, smacking her ass and watching her jump.

she wiggles it at you tantalizingly, and you smile at the sight. you grab the base of her plug, giving it a tug and giggling at the way her thighs twitch, before pulling it out all the way.

you groan at the sight of sevika's hole, gaping for a few moments before winking closed.

"i'm so in love with you." you sigh. sevika giggles.

"i love you t--oh!" she cries as you stick your tongue into her ass as far as it can go. sevika's hips fall toward the bed, but you grip them in your hands, keeping her steady so you can bury your face in her ass.

"oh my god, oh my god, fuck, fuck, please, i love you so much, please!" sevika begs as you suck and kiss her rim sloppily.

"please what?" you ask. sevika groans, shifting backwards to press herself against your face again. you groan as she smothers you with her ass, her legs spreading farther and farther on the bed until she's practically limp against it while you hold her up by the hips.

"p-please fuck me, i wanna cum on your cock but you're gonna-- you're gonna, fuck right there!" she cries.

you pull away for a quick breath. "get the lube." you demand before diving back in.

sevika cries, shakily smacking the bedside drawer for the lube bottle, then tossing it behind her before collapsing face first on the sheets. you just sink down with her, your tongue buried in her ass, getting even higher off the sweet sounds of her whimpers and whines.

"you need fingers?" you ask when you finally pull away, lubing up your strap. sevika shakes her head urgently.

"no, fuck no, 's why i had the plug in, please-- just need you, just need your cock, baby." she rambles against her pillow. you laugh and smack her ass one more time.

you don't tease her much more. using one hand to spread her ass and the other to line the strap up, you slowly sink into your girlfriend, groaning as you watch your strap disappear into her inch by inch.

when you bottom out, you sigh gustily. sevika picks her head up from the mattress, the blanket between her teeth as she moans.

"you okay?" you whisper.

you don't get an answer. instead, sevika jumps up on her knees and pushes her hips and ass up in the air, taking your hips with her. you gasp as she starts fucking herself backwards on your strap, a loud, smacking noise starting to echo through the bedroom.

"fuck fuck, please fuck me, i need you to fuck me, i need--"

you cut her off with a hand to the back of her neck as you push her against the mattress, starting to pound into her. sevika squeals, half laughter half moan as you fuck her.

"like this?" you grunt out. sevika nods into the pillow beneath her.

"yes, yes, yes--"

"fuck, i love you. you're so fucking hot, i love you so fucking much, i'm gonna cum so hard--"

"inside me." sevika suddenly demands. you nearly cum at the words. instead, you flop forward to plaster your chest against sevika's back, nodding against her shoulder.

"of course, baby. of course. want me to knock you up, huh?" you ask.

it's risky, you've never teased about sevika's breeding kink when she's on bottom, but it pays off incredibly fucking well if the way sevika suddenly clenches around your strap and growls is any indication.

you're both sweaty and sticky, huffing for air as you rut into one another.

you're so high, you don't know if it's sevika or the edible or a bit of both, but you're pretty sure you're higher than you've ever been. it feels like you're melting into her, melting into the bed, into the earth, slow and gentle and warm like honey. you've never felt so warm in your life.

"i'm gonna-- baby--"

"you gonna cum?" you ask. sevika nods. "good, it'll help the pregnancy take." you grunt.

sevika suddenly gasps, shivers, then goes completely limp against the bed. you continue to fuck into her as she cums into the bedsheets below, until you're cumming in her ass and collapsing on top of her.

you're pretty sure you don't fall asleep... there's ten minutes there where you're both trying to catch your breath and find your words again after your orgasms where you might have drifted off, but you think it's just the edible making your mind... silent.

eventually, though, you manage to speak.

"you okay?" you mumble. sevika bursts into giggles beneath you.

"i didn't know i had a breeding kink like that." she says. you giggle.

"it's hot, right?" you ask. she nods, and you lift your face up just enough to kiss the knob of her spine. "i need to get you high way more fucking often." you mumble. sevika snorts.

"you just want to top more."

"yeah, i do, and you always manage to seduce me out of it when you're sober. i need you stupid so i can have my way with you." you say. sevika shivers again and you grin, biting her shoulder. "you like it-- don't act like you don't. you're laying in the proof."

sevika giggles. "i love it." she admits shyly. you grin, pulling out of her and kissing her shoulder when she cringes, before helping her turn over and out of her puddle of cum.

"i love it too. you're real cute when you let someone else be the boss for a while." you say. sevika giggles.

"you're the only one i ever met competent enough to boss me around." she replies.

you laugh, then swoop down to kiss her again.

taglist!

@fyeahnix @sapphicsgirl @half-of-a-gay @ellabslut @thesevi0lentdelights @sexysapphicshopowner @shimtarofstupidity @love-sugarr @chuucanchuucan @222danielaa @badbye666 @femme-historian @lia-winther @gr0ssz0mbi3 @ellsss @sevikaspillowprincess @leomatsuzaki @emiliabby @sevikasbeloved

#sevika #sevika imagine #sevika arcane #sevika x reader #sevika x you #soft sevika #sevika smut

[boringkate]

I watched Lena Dunham's Sharp Stick (2022) with a babe last month. Which I absolutely loved!!!

It's never explicitly acknowledged, but the main character is clearly supposed to be (despite the producers claiming otherwise) in some way neurodivergent. Or something. She's meek and impossibly sexually naive (to the point where me and the girl I watched it with had initially assumed the character was intended to be a child). Apparently they had approached an autism sexuality advocate to work as a consultant for the film before backpeddling.

Trans girls tend to be autistic.

The main character also had a hysterectomy (as did Lena Dunham).

Trans girls tend to be infertile.

She's shown taking estrogen.

Trans girls tend to take estrogen.

She becomes obsessed with porn and begins having one night stands with random men from the internet in hopes of finding validation by proving her sexual desirability.

Trans girls tend to do that shit.

It ends with her realizing and leaning into her impregnation fetish (while getting fucked by the one black guy she knows who had just brought over some 40s and called them homies and also while her black step sister's hands unexpectedly drift in from off screen to hold her because even when she managed to push it off to the last second Lena Dunham is incapable of being chill and normal about race).

Trans girls can't go ten seconds without making the same joke about how if you don't think you can get a trans girl pregnant then you just aren't trying hard enough (and the frequent fetishization of black men in trans and especially neighboring sissy communities can't really be denied).

Also the bartender is played by Tommy Dorfman (a trans woman) with it being her first time playing a character with a girl name.

But I'm not trying to suggest it's intentionally a movie about the tgirl excperience. That would be silly. Really the takeaway should be that (no matter how varied women's lives may be) we (trans women and cis women etc) can still always find common ground and shared excperiences. We're all in this together.

But anyways I was looking at Lena Dunham's Instagram yesterday (I've been off and on again rewatching Girls, so she's stayed on my mind).

One post features the music video she directed starring famed trans girl Hari Nef.

Another post shows that she recently read trans boy Elliot Paige's memoir Paige Boy.

Another post shows a conversation she had with Jon Bernthal (on his podcast) where she explains the word cis to him and talks about having also explained it to her husband (this is the only clip from her appearance on the podcast that she chose to post).

BTW did you know that she was an executive producer for the 2021 show Genera+ion (which I recall featuring a trans boy actor playing a cis boy character who gets a girl pregnant).

Fascinating!

Meanwhile. Ten years earlier. In 2013 (a year into my transition and a year before Time declared that we've reached the trans tipping point) an episode of Girls features a doorman telling one of the titular Girls that "a tranny walked in last time and he was just walking around the floors, but it was nothing." (lmao)

UPDATE: s05e02 features a "did you just assume my pronouns" bit. (in a way that felt reactionary and gross because the theyfab saying it was an absurd hipster barista that the audience isn't intended to sympathize with)

UPDATE UPDATE: s06e02 features the leader of a group for women entrepreneurs saying "For those of you asking on our Facebook if the group is open to trans women: The answer is: We don't know. Okay?" (which I thought was fun)

UPDATE UPDATE UPDATE: s06e03 (the literal next episode) "I even went to a couple of hookers and one of them had a dick."

[jamisonwritestf2trash]

Slightly boring question, I know, but what LGBTQ+ headcanons do you have for the mercs (if any) , and for any of those, how do you think they realized?

LGBTQ+ Headcanons For The TF2 Mercs

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oh no anon this isn't boring at all, I love talking about queer shit, and TF2 so this is super fun for me!

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Uhhhh, light homophobia and transphobia??? I tried not to add any but a little bit of it!

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Demo is trans and gay. He was like twenty when he realized he was trans, like this dude was sitting in his home, and it just randomly clicked? Immediately thinks,

"Oh, that explains a lot." He had absolutely no clue what to do with that information, but he eventually figured out how to be comfortable in his own skin. As for him being gay, it was probably just the natural progression of things. He liked men before, and he liked men after. This man was so scared to tell his mom that she literally didn't care, she loves her son.

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Engie is pan and trans. Engie just always knew, like felt it in his bones knew. One of those kids who the moment they could talk just goes, "Oh yeah, I'm a boy now." His parents would just tell him he was a tomboy and that he'd grow out of it. Wrong! He only became comfortable with his identity when he was fifteen, only after years of internalized guilt and transphobia though. Uh, he definitely had to keep it a secret for a lot longer than that. He also just always knew he was pan. He always liked women and men, and he realized he didn't even care if the person he liked was both or neither. He just likes people!

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I think Heavy is bisexual,and like, he didn't even realize it until he met the other mercs. He just ignored the fact that he liked men. After all, every man around him seemed to only like women, so he just focused on women. (Well, not really, lmao) anyway! One night, all the mercs were talking about their escapades, and then some mercs brought up their experiences with men, and he just stared at them and was like,

"You, you can do that?" The team is just like,

"Yeah???"

"Oh."

(I've seen other people headcanon this and I love it and agree so much.)

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Medic is intersex and it just went unnoticed? Lack of proper medical care and a neglectful mother will do that to you. He's glad, though. Growing up, it was confusing for him, especially when he realized that his body was different, but he learned to love himself. He actually learned that he was intersex indirectly. He read some books on anatomy and realized he didn't look like the people in the book and that his body couldn't quite be defined as male or female. Would only be able to put a name to it years later. (I think he'd have Klinefelter syndrome) He's also gay! I think he just always knew, he just never had interest in women, but always chalked it up to being to busy with his work and studies to have time for dating, then he kissed a guy, and oh boy it clicked then. Once, he didn't have to worry as much about being harmed for his identity he became the silly guy you see now.

(His ass does not have a wife! He would call his husband his wife.)

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I want to trans Scout's gender so bad, but alas, it's funnier if he's cis with T-boy swag. BUT, this man is a queer. Bi disaster. He had a stroke when he first joined the other mercs. This man had to work through a lot of shit, all while pretending he isn't working with men who make him question his sexuality on a daily basis. I think at first he tries to convince himself that it's nothing or battles with extreme internalized homophobia and self hatred, and it takes him forever to accept the fact that it isn't weird or wrong to like both men and women. He's still just scared that even though he likes both, he's not good enough for either. (Oops, got angsty my bad.)

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Sniper is queer but just doesn't care too much about exploring his sexuality. He knows he has a preference for men but also has never considered being attracted to other genders, but also doesn't think he'd mind, and over all he just, doesn't know, and it's easier for him to just call himself queer and not have to figure it out. I don't think there was a defining moment, I think one day he just realized he wasn't attracted to just women anymore.

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"You can't just headcanon every shapeshifter as genderfluid!" Uh, yes, I can. So Spy is genderfluid. Spy dress might not be canon, but it's canon in my heart. He has no problem with being masculine one day and feminine the next. I think he realized on a mission one time (not with the other mercs) where he had to present fem for some reason, and he really liked it. He's also bi with a preference for women. He dealt with a lot of internalized homophobia like Scout did (like father like son and all that), but eventually came to terms with it when Scout came out actually. He realized that it probably wasn't that weird, especially when the other mercs chimed in with their sexualities.

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Soldier is pan, but he is also another case of "I want to trans his gender so bad, but it's funnier if he's cis." The comedic value of him not understanding being trans so he's supportive in the weirdest ways. Um, as for him being pan, he just doesn't care. He likes anyone who's a similar personality type to him, gender doesn't matter. It's all the same to him. I feel like it's another case that he always knew, dealt with internalized homophobia, and then the other mercs helped him work through it. (The team is very helpful when it comes to being queer, nothing else, though, lmao)

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Pyro is well, a whole bunch of identities, but I personally rock with, mtf trans agender, pan, and ace. So the mtf and agender part might seem kinda complicated, but I'll do my best to explain! I feel like Pyro was born male, but just always hated they're body and always wanted to have a female body, but then they realized that they wanted to have a feminine body, but no gender, so they did just that. Another case of them liking everyone, they just have a lot of love to give. Being ace, for Pyro, is no sexual attraction at all, just wanting to love a person, wanting romance, not anything more. They realized everything separately, being trans when they were around their teens, basically going through puberty and realizing how awful it felt for them to present as male, being agender years later when someone referred to them neutrally and they really liked it, and being pan when they forst started viewing people romantically, and ace when they got into a relationship.

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Not that it was asked but Miss Pauling is a lesbain btw

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Ah, these queers. UH Medic did everyone's surgeries, in case you we're wondering. He has so many uteruses lying around.

Some short and sweet hcs, uhhh, i have no idea what order im writing anything rn to be completely honest, I'm hoping I'll get through my flufftober asks, then some angst and some other asks but we'll see if I switch this up.

I had such a hard time writing this, I kept getting embarrassed at my writing style and thinking it was the worst thing ever written 😭

#tf2 #team fortress 2 #tf2 headcanons #team fortress headcanons #tf2 hcs #tf2 demoman #tf2 engineer #tf2 heavy #tf2 medic #tf2 scout #tf2 sniper #tf2 spy #tf2 soldier #tf2 pyro #tf2 miss pauling

[thiswaycomessomethingwicked]

3, 9, 10, and 49 for Grima?

Two Grima anons!! Because you all are amazing and know me and the way to my heart

3. Obscure headcanon

Honestly, I feel like I've talked enough about Grima that all my headcanons have been exhausted in the "Grima Thoughts" tag and the "Grima Wormtongue" tag more broadly on my tumblr.

I suppose one that I've never voice too much, and haven't played with (YET. GET READY.**) is that I headcanon him as distinctly Not Cis but he's very convoluted and vague about what that means. The whole seidr aspect I read onto him adds different layers to how you can interpret that, especially given some views that seidr-working might have been viewed as an alternative gender, or an additional aspect to gender, or something in that ballpark of being different from man and woman.

I just enjoy that, aside from Eowyn, he is one of the characters you can make the strongest argument for being Outside the Gender Norms of Their Respective Society. This makes me very pleased and happy.

Grima just wants to be queen. Let him be one!!

--

**this only applies to people reading What Makes a King

9. Scene that first made me love (or hate) the character

For the movies it was the tear-drop scene in TTT after Saruman sends the uruk-hai off to Helms Deep. So much regret and realization of the scope of the impact of his actions captured in a single emotional moment. And it's fleeting! But so well done. No words are needed. Just dawning horror and that stomach-dropping-out-from-your-body feeling of What The Fuck Have I Done - This Was Not How It Was Supposed To Go.

In the books it's 100% when Grima is sassing back at Treebeard. He is Peak Drowned Rat and a GIANT TREE is telling him: You need to go to Orthanc. It's voer there.

And Grima. Who has been on a horse for two days straight, riding through the night, and probbaly hasn't eaten in 48h, and is now stinking soaking wet becuase Treebeard dropped him in the muck and mire of the waters around Orthanc. That man. That man looks at the Giant Tree, the stuff of childhood legends in Rohan, and his instinctual reaction is to be the sassiest most lie-filled bitch on the planet.

What the fuck Grima.

Grima: Well, since you don't think I was here on behalf of Theoden which was My Quickly Thought Up Plan Because I DID NOT Expect This. I will now just be super sassy at you as my fall back. Seems reasonable.

Tree Beard: ????

Love that deranged bastard so much.

Grima: [sees a being way, way more powerful than him. Gandalf, Treebeard, whatever] What if I just said some sick burns and was a petty bitch for fifteen minutes??

Eomer: . .... ..,, , as a treat?

Grima: As a treat!!

10. Best moment on screen (or in the book)

I loved his seduction scene in the film. That whole speech is masterfully rendered by Brad Dourif and Miranda Otto is also fantastic in that scene. Seeing her tempted, truly tempted, then pulling back like: nope, nope, nope, I can't. Grima's face when she leaves. Absolutely phenomenal.

I also love the "These Men Don't Know What Personal Space Is" scene with Eomer.

Nothing to see here. Move along everyone.

In the book, the best scene is everything in the Scouring of Shire. The wanting to take Frodo's offer of a helping hand. The desperation for that salvation from himself and the situation he is in - yet, he is so trapped in whatever it is he feels for Saruman. That quasi-enslaved state by the time we get to the end of ROTK. It's so fucked up and such a fantastic representation of the push/pull of abusive situations. I want out/I can't leave/I can see a future/I can't see a future. So well done.

(And I think Saruman-Grima dynamic is something Tolkien didn't know he had - at least in terms of the potential that is in it.)

While I have gone on before about Grima's death being a let-down in terms of thematic satisfaction, I do love, love, love that he gets to kill Saruman. He gets to put the knife in Saruman's back. That is so fantastic as a full circle of all the traitors betraying each other. ALSO, of course, Grima gets to kill the man who has spent the last eleven months torturing him for shits and giggles. We love to see it.

16. Deepest darkest secret they won’t even admit to themselves

I think Grima is very afraid to look at a lot of things about himself. He cannot look into the mirror straight-on. All truths about himself have to be captured in peripheral vision - which is to say, only ever faintly brushed against.

I don't know what the darkest secret is that he can't admit to himself. I suspect, for him, it's several. He's done so much harm in his life, and he's been also denied so much too, and wants so much, and has broken so much - it's all a tangled mess.

I think for Grima, what drives a lot of his actions post-Helm's Deep is a two-fold sunk-cost fallacy (that's the thing he can't admit to himself - it's not all lost. He can and should walk away. "If it's shit, hit the bricks" was not something he ever learned) and the inability to be able to see a life outside of Saruman. A path away from Orthanc. (Granted, no one was being helpful in that regard until Frodo. Literally no one. Not in any meaningful capacity.)

24. Most annoying habit

Maybe stop stealing things from people?

Probably, though, the sycophancy. The whole "oh my lord" this and "a wise/brilliant thing you said my lord" that. Ugh. Miss me with the verbal dick-sucking there, Grima.

I get why he does it. I 100% understand. I still find it grating. This is something, I will say, that turns up in fanfics more than canon. I've written it, myself, because it works for his character! It's what he would do! It makes sense post-Saruman that he would be like this! If he wasn't it would be weird! But my god Grima, get a spine and a sense of self-worth!

(Grima: shall not.)

For proper canon things, we don't really see enough of him to have specific habits to pick on. Because frankly, I find his thieving delightful and funny, if not a little whimsical. In fact, he should do more. Steal more things! Steal more things!

(Grima: Shall!!! Right now!!)

32. Something guaranteed to make them smile/laugh

Scathing commentary on people he hates. This man is a gossip and a first-class professional Bitcher. He can bitch with the best of them. Hearing dirty things about people makes him so happy.

Also, I think he likes word play and clever jokes. Riddling games and the like, especially ones that are terribly, terribly clever are near-guaranteed to make him smile.

I don't know that he laughs all that much. I think he does that snort/exhale as a form of "laughing" but I don't think he does full on laughing. Save very rarely, and I think it's a shockingly warm sound for someone who is a walking glacier in many respects.

49. Favorite toy as a child

Oh gods. This is hands down the toughest question. If only becuase I have only ever envisioned Grima's childhood as fairly toyless. But he would have had toys - even in the bleakest versions he would have had toys.

I can see little Grima, as a four/five/six year old, being partial to a small, carved cow. He likes the gentle eyes and is familiar with cattle and they smell like home. I can see him also having a small wagon as a boy and he would go out to a small copse and pretend to be a runaway who has joined up with a band of robbers or highway men. In the wagon he'd pack food and water and such, also his bow and a small knife.

Practicing a quick get-away since he was eight.

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Thank you both so much! <3 <3 <3 This got long but 0 regrets. Grima deserves it.

#grima wormtongue #lotr #lord of the rings #eomer #lotr ask #ask meme #ask game #anon #reply #Grima Thoughts

[bitchfitch]

sometimes I forget I've locked myself in an anechoic chamber and only realize it when people comment on the characters who do gender weird in my art because to me. An it/its character just existing in a story is normal, Multiple they/thems in a story is standard and having they/them(singular) exist in the same room as they/them(plural) is barely worth commenting on because of course there's a handful of they/them(singular)s kicking around. Men who look like women, women who look like men, trans characters doing their gender wrong, cis characters doing it wrong in the same ways, cultures with radically different ideas of what gender even means, intersex folk doing their own spin on things, and neopronouns just being bog standard, it's all just Normal and boring and utterly unremarkable.

And since I spend most of my time in my own head I always forget that it's Not. Funky genders are rare even in queer art. and people complaining about not seeing them aren't like missing something. These sorts of characters just. don't exist outside of niche internet circles for the most part, and when they do their weird genders are never like, a passive thing that just is and has very little to do with the actual story, it's always some big deal that makes them being there feel just as othering as if they weren't. and idk. It's a weird vibe. to have that realization that what's standard in your head isn't standard anywhere else.

It's like, you spent your life learning to paint with every color and mix them in every way you could, and then when you stepped out into the basically Everything and Everyone was only using two, refusing to mix them, and refusing to use them 'wrong' and then getting weird about seeing the pallets you paint with.

#idk i had to explain it/its pronouns to my bf and how i prefer it/its over they/them and he just couldn't get his head around the concept #And yeah of course he cant. hes never seen it/its used in a non derogatory way #like i dont even think my stories are all that diverse. #They're mostly just bisexual men doing gender weird and saying Hannibal ass lines at eachother

[narrativelysignificantturtleduck]

yknow in regards to trans hcs, im surprised not more people hc sokka as trans. obviously there are more than a lot of the other characters, but when someone asked me if i had any trans hcs once, I thought abt it and the conclusion I came to was Sokka

i feel like i've seen a fair amount of people headcanon him as nonbinary, which falls under the trans umbrella depending on how you define things. that's where i'm at with him. sokka puts a lot of pressure on himself to live up to a warrior-masculine ideal, and his arc is about realizing his strengths outside of that - creativity versatility intelligence, as piandao put it. and while that could just be an arc about learning to embrace a different kind of masculinity, it's an arc that includes a scene of him dressing in drag and looking down at himself in awe, as well as the scene i put at the beginning of my queer sokka compilation. (the tags on that vid were mostly "omg he's bisexual" which isn't wrong but i threw that in as a nod to him being nonbinary.) i don't think he's transfem - i think most of his issues with masculinity are about the narrow ideal of it - but i do think he'd be comfortable playing around with different gender expressions and wouldn't mind being gendered differently in the kyoshi warrior uniform.

being the scientific guy (gender neutral) that he is, i imagine at some point post canon he's like "well when you analyze gender it really doesn't make any sense! like if women aren't better at sewing and men aren't better at war and it's just some anatomy what's the point? plus anatomy isn't even that binary! gender is ridiculous!" he's baffled when other people agree with him but also affirm that they identify with a gender. objectively speaking, gender is stupid? why would you do that?

(to be honest sokka, i don't know. because that is very much my view of gender and yet when i questioned my identity i still came to the conclusion that i'm a cis woman. my gender is "girl, but on purpose this time".)

i've also seen transmasc sokka, where his struggles with masculinity are because he feels he needs to prove it extra hard. that's a pretty interesting take but not the one i feel personally. he more strikes me as someone who's rigidly stuck in what he thinks he was born to be. he idolizes his father as the warrior ideal he's supposed to live up to, not realizing he can have a sense of self outside that legacy. i think an important step in sokka's gender journey would be realizing his dad is not some hyper-manly warrior. according to bato's stories, hakoda's a fun goofy guy who loves coming up with pranks and riding animals (very aang-like, tbh). like i've said, the vibe i get from him is dad who builds legos and tinkers around with shit in his garage. not gender non-conforming, exactly, but definitely not hypermasculine. also i think hakoda's bisexual.

basically, i'm right with you. i definitely think sokka's got some gender shit going on

#ask #nina's personal log #sokka

[cryptidfuckery]

Your old social media was literally my first ever introduction to anyone identifying beyond the gender binary. In 2014, I was watching youtube videos in the small UK city I grew up in, and your videos were recommended. And I felt instant recognition when you talked about gender things, because I'm non-binary and I'd never heard of anyone identifying or expressing themselves that way when I was younger. You were the LGBT+ elder that I really appreciated advice from. (Even if you are only a few years older than me, you seemed much wiser). So I just wanted to say thank you for being your out and authentic self for so many years. Wishing you a good week. P.S. if you like cute animals, I highly recommend looking up photos of bog turtles, they definitely made my week better.

I'm really, really glad that I was able to help you!!

This definitely isn't the first time I've heard this. Notably, when I was at an anime convention years ago during that time, I had someone approach me and say essentially the same thing and also cry. Wonderful experience, also a fucking wild experience!!

It's one of the things I'm proudest of my younger self for. I was lucky enough to learn through my close friends at the time, but I definitely saw that there just. Wasn't enough information readily available for the people who might be interested. So I dug my heels in and allowed myself to be a resource, because it was important. Most of what I was doing was regurgitating what I was learning from my own elders and community, but it was important for people to have a face to the idea. Someone they could talk to and be validated by.

That was either around or over 10 years ago now. I've identified as genderqueer for over 10 years. I sometimes think about an the people who might have a similar time line just for the sake that I talked about it openly.

That time also helped me realize that I didn't want to go into activism full time. I love it, its important, but it made me realize that it would take too much out of me. Maybe I was able to handle it better because I was still being supported by family, and my only obligation (that I shirked a hell of a lot of) was highschool.

That doesn't mean I Completely stopped though. I'm one of those people you can make the joke "they'll trans your gender." I have a joke that the only people who don't end up more trans by the end of dating me are Very cis men. (I have a theory that the people who do end up "more trans" are attracted to the androgy for a reason, whether they realize or not).

I like to think it's because I know what questions to ask, not to push too hard, but more than anything, let them describe how they're feeling about their gender/sexuality with no judgements. Letting them explore it in a safe space. So my activism kind of happens there.

But more than that, I'm a hairdresser that caters toward queer/trans/gay people. That's where I feel I actually do my activism.

And I'll be real with you, I'm not out to all my clients. I work in a mixed bag neighborhood (old conservatives, young liberals, EVERYTHING inbetween) so half of that is keeping myself safe. The other half is not wanting to put extra work on myself trying to fight to explain my identify to someone who 1) doesn't actually care and 2) most likely won't actually hear a thing i say. I talk to the clients that bring it up, and come out to them if they ask. I'm not necessarily tight lipped about my queerness, but like all of us, at know how to illude without specifics. I let my clients decide their comfort level.

But my TRANS CLIENTS. They are SO important to me. I'm able to surround myself with the people I love, who I can crack a gender joke at and know I'll get a laugh. People I can really talk to about dysphoria, about hormones, about surgeries, about relationships, about sex, about family, about friends, about life in a way I don't get to with my other clients.

Even more important than that, I can make a huge step in their transition that much easier. I had a good amount of freshly cracked eggs find me after quarantine/the pandemic (it's not over). As we all know, it was a huge self reflection time. But I got to be there to be the first to validate their gender through their hair. That in itself can be an extremely nerve wracking process. My trans clients coming to me have allowed me to figure out the best way to naviagte the situation in a way where they feel comfortable and validated. It means the world to me. Seriously.

This is where I feel I actually do my activism. It's not explaining what gender is, it's not explaining pronouns. It's getting to assure someone they're on the right path. That what they're doing is good, and it's happy, and there's someone who's proud of them for going through the hard, hard process. I have people I've now been seeing for years who I've gotten to support through hormone changes, through identity changes, through relationship changes.

But one of the things I really try to stress is that being trans, while it absolutely has it's difficulty, it's supposed to be joyous. It's supposed to be the joy of being who you feel you really are. The joy of being loved for who you are. The joy of loving as you are. The joy of being loved by your community. The joy of loving life. Being trans is the joy of love, and the constant readmission that you love yourself more than anyone else can take away.

I cried a little bit writing that ngl.

Last thing I wanna say is that if I did happen to touch your life in a way that helped you become more fully realized, pass on the favor. The next time you have a friend or loved one you're getting the signals from, ask the questions. Be patient with them. Let them change their answers. Nudge but don't shove. Crack a joke. Meet them where they are.

Do it with love.

#making my OWN DAMN SELF cry before work #this stuff is still. really important to me #this got really long but if you've been here for a while you know me. this shit gets long

[canichangemyblogname]

When I started therapy, I was actually hung up on the fact that I didn't seem to have ever experienced dysphoria, which is a lie that has its origins in part in the fact I had no fucking clue what dysphoria actually is. I've since found that it's actually kinda hard to explain, and that's why these narratives that dysphoria is when trans people are revulsed by their body and agab, or when they "hate" their past self, persist. It's also why these "trapped in" bodies and "wrong" bodies narratives exist.

Like. I'm in my body. My body is my body. My consciousness isn't in another person's body; it's in my own. And I know myself. I know myself well enough to know that I am not a woman despite society telling me that my bits, pieces, and parts "make" me one. And how else do I explain this to someone with no frame of reference for this? I liken it to "Freaky Friday," despite the fact that's- technically- what it isn't? It’s like having an out-of-body experience. You're looking at your body. You know it's your body. But there's also a disconnect. Something's missing, and something's there that makes no sense.

I also don't think I could ever hate the girl my parents tried to raise or the woman I wanted so desperately to be. That wouldn't be very kind to me. She really tried her damnedest. And she's not "dead" because she's a vital part of my past. I, quite technically, wouldn't be trans if "she" never existed. I'd be a cis man if I was never afab. "Trans" is an important part of my lived reality.

Was I ever a "girl"? A part of me still has no idea. I know I truly believed I was, but the reasons I believed I was weren't healthy.

I held on to a lot of sex-essentialist ideas for a good portion of my youth. Why? It was all that connected me to the identity society and my family was trying to raise me into. When my cousin gifted me a uterus pin with the words "Women's rights" on it, I wore it proudly. It was a very tenuous connection to womanhood, and it was a connection I needed to critically rethink when my mother and grandmother were both diagnosed with cervical cancer (I was 11). I knew that it ran in my family and that, one day, I might need to go through the same surgery they did just to live.

I asked my mom what connected her to womanhood, and she replied: motherhood. I was never, ever going to be a mother, so I returned to the drawing board. I asked my grandmother what connected her to womanhood, and she replied: standing up to violent men and men who denied her and other women the opportunity to work; community. And I realized that I had never been extended the same community my grandmother always had been. Part of the disconnect I felt was due to violence (sexual and not) I had experienced in single-sex, "women's only" spaces. Girls in "girl's only" spaces made it clear that I was not welcome, and, at the time, I didn't understand why they singled me out and picked on me.

Even though my family was trying to raise me as a girl, the society around me saw me as nothing more than a "failed" girl. I was an "unwoman," not "woman enough," for reasons such as what I preferred to wear. But it's not like in marking me as "unwoman," they made me into a man, far from it. They sorted me- on the basis of my queerness- into some other third category. Something of a eunuch.

And it seemed like the only thing I had was some sex-essentialist, cisgender pretense (I absolutely loved the linked blog post as I found it quite striking, even though I was *never* trans-exclusionary, and I never supported those ideas about trans people) to sort of reassure myself that I belonged in society. Every time I usurped or rebelled against our sex/gender norms, I would work to distract myself from how I constructed my body into a binary and thus ignore how being made into a girl was wrong for me. I literally disconnected myself from parts of my internal self & internal thoughts, and I denied myself the opportunity to construct an identity. I was constantly gaslighting myself and consistently engaged in thought-stopping. In part because I was terrified of being "different."

I so desperately wanted to be just like every other girl that I ignored the fact that I likely never was (and that there is no such thing as universal woman/girlhood). With that realization, I could hear the words of my school-yard bullies from years ago, words which, it seems, many trans masc people have heard in their lifetime, "What's wrong? We're all girls here, aren't we? We're all alike."

I've been unable to recognize my own dysphoria because I have spent my whole life purposefully ignoring and distracting myself from those moments of "huh. something's off." I spent some 23 years of my life essentially disassociating from myself (I'm 26 now). I felt detached from my body and detached from the world around me. It felt as if everyone else was moving, but I was floating in place. I disconnected myself from my thoughts and emotions in an attempt to be accepted by a society that finds queerness disgusting.

I literally felt like I was watching my life and body unfold without my consent rather than me unfolding it myself. So, I liken my experience to "Freaky Friday" because that's also what it is.

#TW: depersonalisation #TW: assault #TW: dissociation #TW: transphobia #this is what therapy is for #It’s been healing to start to recognize what moments are dysphoria #Which might seem counterintuitive #Like. Why would I want to learn to recognize the moments of distress that come from an incongruence between my identity & body? #It’s so that I can better address them #And learn better coping mechanisms to deal with my mental distress #Help lessen some of my internal self-perception issues (very hard on myself mentally & not physically) #Helps me identify mental self-harm #Mental self-harm is not a way to process my distress. It only stresses me further 😅 #Gender journey

[drdemonprince]

History anon here with appreciation and a couple clarifications:

The worst thing *I* could be was a trans man, not the worst thing *anyone in the world* could be. I realize I didn't write this super clearly, so that's on me, but I was talking about the worst felt sense of identity I specifically could have. Like, being a murderer would be worse, but you don't come to be a murderer by keeping yourself up at night, wondering whether it best describes who you are. I thought I could force myself to hold a different identity, one that wouldn't be betraying the feminist values I was surrounded by and looked up to.

I didn't say anything about how my experience compares to trans women, though for the record, they were also treated terribly in the spaces that hated me, and I also stood up for and worked with them. Most of my academic scholarship has been focused on trans men because that's the area where I'm most passionate and qualified, but that's my personal work right now, not some sideways way of putting others down.

I didn't know you'd been hanging out in trans masc spaces in the early 2000s. High five for guys who survived those days.

I don't use Tumblr, so I don't have an @ to give you. This account I'm posting from? It's technically a work account I set up for a job almost a decade ago that decided it didn't want the page after all, so it's still linked to my email. There's no other way for me to reliably contact you that I know of, but if you think of something, I'm totally open.

Hey there, thanks for the clarifications, and sorry to have mischaracterized what you were aiming to convey in your first message. You have a lot of experiences and knowledge that I'd love to learn from more to the extent you are fine with sharing.

I have a friend who grew up in the SF Bay area in the early 2000s and was a trans guy then, and from them I've gathered little threads here and there regarding how trans men were seen and treated at the time (all the trans guys were expected to be bottoms, not just for the reasons that's such a Thing today, but also because in feminist spaces it was seen as the appropriate position for a trans guy to be relative to a cis woman, within the community hierarchy)... there are certainly big elements of the scene and regional differences that I know next to nothing about, when it comes to trans guys experiences at the time. I think the Midwest queer/feminist scene was probably very different in a lot of ways. It certainly was very sex negative. I'd be curious to hear a lot more about the ambassador program pushing for trans male inclusion at the bathhouses that you mentioned, and more about where you're from in general.

For all that I challenge contemporary complaining about "trans male invisibility," it really is true that gay trans men were completely excluded from the communities I was around back then, and I didn't really feel that we could exist (though I had known some bi trans guys at that time). That certainly kept me from transitioning for far longer than I otherwise would have. And I feel like I have witnessed the canonization of Lou Sullivan happening in real time here on Tumblr... even more recently than much of the advocacy that you shared about. He just was not on my radar or someone that anyone in my circles was talking about until a few years ago. But I guess it's not surprising that radfems who considered gay men to be privileged perverts weren't speaking about him. Man Columbus Ohio sucked dick

I'm not sure how best for us to get in touch, then. My twitter DMs are open too. I keep most of the rest of mine shut for lots of reasons. Funny that your account is a brand account on here...are you the Dennys tumblr account

[spitblaze]

Cis Men run... every institution. Cis men are at the head of every government in the world, Cis Men created the system we all have to live in and made themselves the Societal default. It's kind of hard to feel sympathy for Men on anything other than an individual level when in a broad sense, Men are the reason for literally all of their own problems. Men are the ones who protest ANY form of progress, even if it would be beneficial to them, even when it means addressing and getting rid of things like Toxic Masculinity and allowing them to live in a freer, less rigidly definitive way. Men are the reason we literally all have to be scared all the fucking time just to stay safe. That's not TERF shit. That's literal centuries of oppression and the result of everyone who isn't a Cis Man having to learn very quickly how to keep themselves safe FROM Cis Men. Masculinity isn't the problem, Maleness is not inherently the problem, not all Men are inherently the problem. But in an abstract sense, assuming all Men are untrustworthy or potentially dangerous is the only way to keep yourself safe. I'm a Trans Woman. Yes, the TERF movement is primarily made up of Cis Women. But when I go outside the reason I try to make myself as unnoticed as possible, the reason I am afraid for my safety, the reason I don't present unless I have people around me, is because of what a Man could potentially do to me. Because of what Men HAVE done to me. And I'm not an outlier. It's all very well and good to say "viewing Men and Maleness as inherently bad is wrong" in the abstract? But in practical terms if I suddenly let my guard down I'm fucking dead.

Hi, I'm a trans man. I know exactly what you're talking about, I've been there during the time before my egg cracked, I've been there AFTER my egg cracked, and I'm not about to tell you you should innately trust every man or masculine person. Unfortunately, for a lot of people, it's the most surefire way to stay safe. I get it, I've had that moment where a man approaches me in a way where I'm positive I'm about to become a statistic, I've seen the kinds of grifts run by men to convince other men that the only way forward is domination and fascism, I've seen how many men see any sort of pushback on their privilege and place in the world and go berserk. 'Misandry' is a loaded word thanks to MRA shitheads, and it's not one I like to use. Cis men have historically not faced sex discrimination anywhere in the GALAXY of the magnitude of women.

The point I am making is not that you have to trust and love and tolerate every single man. I would be a goddamn hypocrite if I told you to do that, I don't even do that. What I'm saying is that there are a lot of people who, for whatever reason, see men as inherently inhuman, inherently incapable of love, inherently predatory. It's what fuels TERFs in their ideology, the idea that someone within spitting distance of masculinity has only one goal, and that is harm. There are people who look at men expressing their love for other men and mock them or react with disgust, not because of garden variety homophobia, but because they are men, and who could possibly love a man? You see people in queer spaces get uncomfortable when someone who doesn't shave their facial hair walks into the room, exclude trans men and nonbinary amab people on the basis of their proximity to manhood. I understand why it happens, but getting jumpy right off the bat in situations like this helps nobody. Designating women as the 'victim' gender and men as the 'predator' gender is reductive, and while I understand a lot of this behavior is an overcorrective (healthy) fear of strange men, the real fact is that, like...most men aren't dangerous. There are a lot who are, and I'm not asking you to lower your guard on the bus or whatever, just to realize that like. Someone being a man does not preclude them being inherently predatory or regressive, and someone being a woman does not preclude them being 'safe'. That's all.

#spitblaze says things #long post #did you guys not see the 'some' #*some* of you have terf brainworms #others have a healthy fear that may or may not be leaking into your perception of men on the whole #idk. i dont know you. i dont know your story or your history #im just fucking asking people to stop seeing trans men and aksing why we would possibly want to be a MAN or side with the 'enemy' #or seeing mlm express attraction and shit on us because theres nothing more disgusting than a man #or freaking out the second someone who's not Feminine wants to enter a queer space #btw im not just talking about men. im also talking about people who get jumpy around butches because AAAH MASCULINITY SCARY

[the-grey-hunt]

talking with friends in the ol dracula daily chat and:

jonathan cares SO MUCH for mina in today's entry. we know what's going on, we see mina's side, but jonathan is trying so hard to keep her well and safe and he's been told that the way to do that is to not tell her what's going on. his train of thought is just "aw man it goes against every fiber of my being not to share everything with mina but she's already not feeling well, i'd hate to make her feel worse"

it also made me realize what's going on with the harkers and why jonathan agreed to exclude mina in the first place. they were lonely when they were apart and unstoppable as a team, but now that other people (and jonathan's peers, no less) are a part of the dracula team, the harker duo has been defeated by a terrible foe: Social Norms And Expectations.

they're victorians! there are so many social rules all the time and it's nigh impossible to break them, especially if you're higher up on the social ladder! it is Simply Not Done. jonathan has been absorbed (awkwardly) into the boys' club and is competent and can go along with it, but he clearly doesn't enjoy mina's exclusion. mina doesn't enjoy being excluded, and misses hanging out with jonathan, but the Token Woman trope for a team-up of adventurers hasn't been invented yet. this is also why jonathan considers sending her home to Exeter: if the wife goes home, she'll be happier, right? they're both trying very hard to do what society tells them they should be content doing.

(obviously there's a gay way to read this—something something compulsory heterosexuality—but I'll get back to you)

I read some great meta a few entries ago about how jonathan enjoys mostly female society and this is his first time being in this kind of boy's club. i've posted before about jonathan's role in the female gothic trope (the victim in the castle, the dramatic sufferer of victorian novel disease). right now we're seeing him, by being brought into the wider circle of male characters, do his best to make a turn-about into conforming with them (both from an authorial standpoint, as in how stoker writes him, and from a character standpoint).

jonathan declares that when van helsing brings him into confidence re: dracula, he's curned from his Victorian Novel Disease. brain fever who? now jonathan's running around doing solicitor things, paying small bribes and getting information from lower-class men (as we have seen various (male) News Correspondents do so far). He goes with the boys as they mimic Dr. Seward and observe Renfield; he goes with the boys as they follow Van Helsing into the gamut of vampire fighting. Notably, Jonathan's ill-fitting adoption into the group is notable in the way Seward forgets to introduce him to Renfield.

At the same time as he makes this turn, Mina, who has been critical in figuring out what's going on, is pushed into a more traditionally female role in the proceedings. the boys can't clue her in on things. Why? Perhaps they're all still scarred from what happened to Lucy—three lovers, doing what they wish they could have for their loved one and trying to keep her far away from danger. But also, when you have a Boy's Club For Fighting Vampires, you can't just have one of the boys' wives hanging out with you. Mina becomes the wife waiting at home for their triumphant return, watching through the windows, not unlike the women Jonathan once imagined might have lived in the nicer apartments at castle Dracula.

the harkers, as tumblr's favorites, have of course had queer labels bestowed on them in interpretation (not that i'm against that). their attempts to ascribe to the social norms expected of them, and seeming inability to do so successfully, speaks to me to a very similar experience that many queer people have in this day and age, trying to fit into a heterosexual, cis framework of life. while it's possible to LOOK like they're getting it right—as a m/f couple they can at least look the part—queer readers understand that the novel can only make real breakthroughs when they give up trying to pretend; when jonathan is free to include mina in his thoughts and knowledge, and when mina is free to contribute and be taken seriously by the group.

#dracula #dracula daily #long post #meta #jonathan harker #mina harker

[insecateur]

hi hi hi! fellow transmasc here!

Do you actually headcannon Lysandre / Sycamore as being transgender? I've seen it going around on social media a bit and I was curious about your opinion on it :) (sorry if this is a lame ask)

THIS IS NOT A LAME ASK AT ALL !!! please never worry about sending me asks... i sometimes will take a little bit to reply for busy or timezone reasons but i do not mind getting them. i actually enjoy getting them a lot this was like the one thing i missed the most from no longer being on tumblr 💔

to answer your question..!! i don't know if i would say i headcanon them as transgender as like, a general rule (as in i think of them as transgender as like. their default state when i envision them in my mind's eye) but i do love and cherish the idea of them being transgender!! i have drawn both of them in trans pride stuff in the past and i've even written augustine as transgender once although it was in porn so .

i am sometimes... i guess "wary" of stuff where augustine is trans and lysandre is cis and it has this kind of . oh augustine is smaller and lysandre is manlier so obviously this is the way this makes sense vibe to it HOWEVER. i realize that for some people it's more of a "projecting on the character who looks more like me/who i like more" thing. so i don't begrudge anyone for it although i do wish there was more trans lysandre in the world... (and especially more t4t prfr tbh.)

wait actually this is making me realize i haven't talked about me being professionally diagnosed with lysandregender here ?! at least i don't think so. okay so when i went to see a gender therapist in order to start transitioning the guy was asking me random questions i think it was at our second appointment. and he was like "do you collect anything" and i, FOR SOME GODFORSAKEN REASON, decided to tell him i collected merch of my favorite pokémon character lysandre. and then i was like "actually, i'm wearing a shirt with him on it right now" and i lifted up my hoodie so he could see my lysandre shirt. i don't remember the exact conversation that followed but basically he looked right through me and went "this is about your Gender." and i was like "this is definitely about my Gender." and this is how i was professionally diagnosed with lysandregender

i do genuinely think i have a lot of Gender Feelings tied to lysandre which is also why i like the idea of him being trans, although for a long time it felt too self-indulgent so i kind of refused to partake in it fully. thankfully for everybody i no longer feel a sense of shame about anything so we all live in a post-trans lysandre world now

my favorite thing about them being Gender is that augustine is actually exclusively a "feminine" name in french, and lysandre is gender neutral so both men and women can be called lysandre, although it's rarer for women (kind of like the opposite of "camille") so i think they should both be allowed to trans their genders as much as they want. that is my wish,

#la réponse d #also lysandre uses watashi in japanese and one of my friends once joked about how that made him 'gnc as fuck' #it actually makes total sense that he would use watashi (the mere idea of him using ore terrifies me to my core) but it's still funny #sycamore also uses boku which is another story entirely #anyway i should definitely draw more trans lysandre is what i should do #you: sorry if this is lame me: replies with a wholeass novel #(this is my last aside i promise) i also kinda like lysandre being trans as being one more thing tied to his concerns about his legacy... #maybe i will write about it someday <- said by man who already has too much shit to write about

[starchilddante]

For my first request, dear artist...

Prince to Princess.

Basically, she starts off a cis male who feels body dysphoria and wonders why, thinking that as a Prince he is perfect and there's nothing wrong with him... then one of her servants teaches her about LGBTQ+ and Trans people, and she realizes... oh my Irene, I'm not a Prince. I'm a Princess.

(also please please please make the parents supportive, I suffer from a self-proclaimed but really not supportive dad but incredibly supportive Mum and Step-dad)

“Good morning, your Highness. It’s time to get up.” I open my eyes blearily to the face of my attendant, smiling softly at me before heading over to fling open the window curtains. The light of the morning was already streaming through the windows. This is the third time I've overslept this week. Whoops. 

I rolled over to the edge of my bed, stifling a groan. Now I would have to dodge Irene’s string of concerned questions all day and sit through another worried lecture from Mom. 

It’s not that I didn’t appreciate their worries. I just… didn’t have any answers to my own questions, let alone theirs. It was easier to just pretend everything was fine. Even if I’d rather be sleeping lately. 

“Come on, up and at ‘em.” Irene was never one to let me mope. “Just because you’ve got nothing going on this morning doesn’t mean you can lounge around, Prince Alexander.” 

Irene had already laid out my outfit for the day, and I could hear the water running from the bathroom. A bath didn’t sound terrible. 

I pushed myself from the bed, staggering over to the bathroom. Irene rewarded me with a slight smile, laying my undergarments next to the tub. 

“I’ll help you get dressed once you’ve finished.” 

After Irene closed the door behind her, I began to undress, doing my best not to look down. As I sank into the hot water, I caught a glance of my chest, where chest hair had become dark enough to be visible. An uncomfortable feeling settled underneath my skin. I’d been growing more and more body hair lately, a fact that caused me to feel more and more self-conscious. I did my best to ignore it. Body hair is normal for someone my age. My mother had said it plenty of times. I just needed to get used to it. 

Once I was finished, I shoved on my undergarments and opened the bathroom door to Irene making my bed. Normally, a royal’s attendant would help them bathe and dress them in the bathroom, but I would feel weird asking Irene to do that for me. It was odd enough that I had specifically requested a female attendant. I didn’t want her to get the wrong idea. 

Not that she would anymore. We’d gotten pretty close over the last year. She told me about her wife and two kids and I told her that I exclusively liked men. She told me about how she had been married to a man for four years and I told her that I didn’t come out to my parents as gay until I had to court a princess for the first time and I bawled my eyes out. 

I didn’t tell her everything, though. There were some things you couldn’t tell anybody, not even your extra cool lesbian attendant. My stomach roiled with anxiety at the thought of it. 

“Your parents want to see you for breakfast,” Irene said, pulling me out of my thoughts. “They waited for you. And then you have a meeting with your Father this afternoon to plan the ball for next month-” 

Irene paused, staring at me as she combed my hair. “Prince Alexander? Where are you today?” I winced at the use of my name. Sometimes people used it when I wasn’t prepared and it felt like a bomb was being dropped. I don’t know why. 

“I’m right here, Irene,” I replied. “We’re in my room, in case you didn’t know. In the castle.” Irene snorted at me, resuming the process of managing the thick brown bush on my head that I called hair. 

“Wiseass,” she retorted. “You know what I meant. You’re stuck in your head again.” Her expression softened, and I knew what was coming.

“Everything okay in there?” she asked. “You’ve seemed… different these days. And you’ve been oversleeping a lot more recently.” 

I brushed away her questions with a chuckle. “Come on, Irene. You know me. I’m just a grumpy old man in a 17 year-old’s body. Old men need their sleep. And it’s probably a good thing I’m thinking so much. It’d be a problem if the heir to the throne didn’t use their brain.” 

Irene turned her head to look at me sternly, but I knew her well enough to see the smile hiding at the corners of her lips. I always knew how to lower Irene’s guard. It was my speciality.

“Still, you know you can talk to me about anything,” she finally said. “That’s what I’m here for, Alex.” 

My heart fluttered a little. I much preferred Alex to Alexander, but Irene would only call me that every once in a great while, when we were alone. 

“I didn’t know you were here to be my therapist. I thought you were my attendant.” Irene offered me a playful smack on the shoulder. 

“Go to breakfast, your Highness.”

A short part one to let you know I did not forget this idea, I'm just a old and tired college student :p

Or if you'd rather read on Wattpad, I will continue uploading parts here and there:

Hope you enjoy the story!

#lgbtq #writing #short story #transgender stories