#organised abuse

[tbmc-education]

What Actually is Programming?

Disclaimer: While programming does not always result in the formation of a system, I will be focusing this post on that as it is what I have most information about.

As stated in my 'Basics of Trauma Based Mind Control' post programming is the process of teaching a person unquestioned obedience with the intention of fragmenting the mind and creating dissociative amnesia/barriers between the parts.

But what does this actually mean?

In the most basic explanations it is perpetrators putting the victim through various types of torture to break down their ability to cope and have them turn to dissociation which they can then exploit by creating parts- or alters- which respond to specific triggers with doing whatever action the perpetrators wants them to.

The long explanation is much more complex and I will divide it into three main sections.

Number 1; Creating a system

I will not go into the specifics because I do not want that information to fall into the hands of the wrong people. But in order to create a system the victim must be under the age of 6-9 with many groups starting as young as birth or even in utero (note: you cannot develop DID/OSDD-1 in utero but it can increase how long it takes an infant to return to baseline after arousal.)

The trauma the victim undergoes typically attacks every part of their world and is inescapable which makes the victim turn to dissociation. Traumabonds occur here to make the child attached to the primary handler. (Primary handler and primary programmer are not always the same person, I use primary because there is typically more than one involved.) Once dissociative, perpetrators will begin to implement base/alpha programming as well as scripts.

In infancy scripts are simple so the victim can easily understand what they are being told. A script sets the base for the innerworld, alters and programs that will be implemented. Organisation programs are typically related to the base script.

Number 2; Alters and innerworlds

Alters exist as a protective mechanism and perpetrators take advantage of that by creating scenarios where the victim is hurt less if they do what perpetrators want them to. Perpetrators can also create specific scenarios such as treating the victim as an animal and forcing them to believe they are one in order to split an animal alter. Once an alter is split they are then heavily conditioned through more torture, hypnosis and drugs to believe what perpetrators want them to and follow certain behaviours in response to specific stimuli (cues).

Innerworlds are created through various means which for safety I will not list here but they can range from very simple to very complex and are often elaborated more by perpetrators as the victim grows up. Perpetrators will put in various structures to hold parts, memories, reprogram parts through trauma reenactment, hold discarded parts who were not up the perpetrators' standards, etc. Many survivors report having higher ups who flick switches internally to set of programs and those parts may or may not be fully aware of what the switches do, just that they have to flick them whenever a situation occurs.

Perpetrators are able to control the roles of alters, where they live internally, the amount of amnesia between each part/group and when it occurs, types of switches and their frequency, splitting patterns, innerworld structures, subsystems, subgroups, sidesystems, and more. This is not an exhaustive list and you don't need every single part in order to be programmed.

Number 3; Triggers and Cues

Cues can range from being simple sounds to complex situations and phrases. Hand signals, touches, sounds, phrases, smells, shapes, symbols, situations, etc can all be used as cues and there is no one list of them as each group had their own cues and even in the same group they can vary from survivor to survivor.

They are enforced through drugs, hypnosis, torture and conditioning often for many years and in a variety of situations to make responses to them become automatic. Responses to cues can vary from getting a specific part to front to getting into a specific sexual position to triggering dissociation and/or amnesia to attacking someone to internal punishments. Again this not an exhaustive list but more some examples of what cues can do.

Types of Programs

Note: there are many program lists out there but this is based on what I have commonly seen and what I have most information about. This is not an exhaustive list and I may have forgotten some common ones due to my own bad memory.

Alpha or base programming is obedience and loyalty that sets the base for all other programs to go off of. Dissociation and amnesia fall under this as well.

Beta programming is sexual programming. Parts can range from epsilon nonhuman to 'little girl' and they are taught the ways they are supposed to act during sexual abuse including positions, vocalisations and reactions. Alters typically fit a specific fetish or niche that the perpetrators want to gain pleasure and/or profit from.

Callback or chi programming is exactly what it sounds like. Parts are trained to return to perpetrators at certain dates, holidays, when the victim starts therapy, etc in order to keep the programming from being discovered and/or worked through. It heavily ties into reporter programming as well.

Delta programming is aggression or fight programming. Parts are trained to feel little to no emotions and/or attack on command, it is commonly associated with assassin programming however it's also used for snuff flims, 'dog' fights, and protection for the perpetrators.

Denial programming is feeding into the natural denial that comes with DID/OSDD-1 and turning it into an extreme. Denial of the trauma, specific people's involvement and any trauma disorders are very common with this program.

Duality programming is creating two seperate and opposite sides for example light and dark, day and night which usually do not get along in order to keep the system from communicating and working together.

Go insane or crazyland programming is a subset of punishment programming which is meant to make the victim feel like they are 'going insane.' This is done through flashbacks of being drugged, psychosis, high pitched noises in your head and various others things that parts are told to do whenever this program is cued.

Epsilon programming is dehumanisation programming, most commonly associated with animal parts however some people consider clay, angels, demons, dolls, robots, objects etc to fall under this type. It frequently crosses over with other programs for example with beta to create sexual dolls or sex kittens, or with delta to create attack or guard dogs.

Flood programming is the flooding of emotions, memories or sensations to overwhelm specific parts. It is used as both a punishment and therapy interference program. It can cause natural disasters internally however that is not always the case.

Handler programming teaches specific parts to be handlers be that internal or external. These parts are often responsible for triggering specific programs internally and can be higher up on the hierachy. It is important to remember these parts are not bad and deserve compassion just like every other part.

Hierarchical programming aims to set a strict hierachy internally typically with backups to prevent the programming from breaking down for as long as possible. This can be done by perpetrators assigning parts a place in the hierachy or having parts 'earn' those roles through more torture. The second type typically involves programs such as jewel/gem, metals, royalty etc where parts 'earn' the next rank.

Narco programming is sleep programming where parts will fall asleep on command, typically this is achieved through drugs and sleep deprivation which then cause body flashbacks to put the person to sleep.

Omega programming is suicide and self harm programming. It is a type of punishment program and can involves both successful suicide and intentionally failed suicide which are used as a warning. Self harm is used in similar ways and parts are taught to cut in specific places and patterns.

Organisational programming cover a very wide range of programs that are used to sort parts and make it easier for the perpetrators to keep track of. It frequently overlaps with hierarchical programming however that it isn't always the case. Colour, number, flower, play card programs are exmaples of organisational programming that may or may not also be hierarchical.

Programmer programming is technically a type of delta programming that teaches a part to become a programmer be that internal or external. They are responsible for reprogramming parts internally and are often higher up in the hierachy. They are not bad and deserve the same compassion as all other parts.

Punishment programming cover a wide range of programs such as omega, spin, scramble, go insane and many more. Every programmed system will have at least one in order to protect perpetrators and stop any disclosures of the abuse.

Scramble programming is a type of punishment programming where words and/or thoughts become scrambled which makes speaking and/or thinking very difficult. It is commonly used a therapy interference program alongside being a punishment program. Writing backwards, writing/saying the opposite of wha you mean, etc are all a type of scramble programming.

Shell programming creates a specific front part that other parts front through. They have little to no personality and some may not be sentient at all. Also referred as a default part although that term is not programming specific whereas shell is. These parts exist to keep the system from being detected from both insiders and outsiders, they link up memories for the day-to-day parts to ensure they don't realise they are losing time and frequently numb them to any pain that the body is in.

Silence programming causes the loss of the ability to speak which is useful to perpetrators as a therapy interference program and also as a punishment program.

Spin programming causes the sensation of spinning which can some with dizziness, disorientation and/or nausea. It can spread flashbacks or emotions throughout various parts. Can be both a punishment and/or therapy interference program.

Reporter programming ties heavily with callback programming. Parts are taught to report every life change, move, internal activity, etc to perpetrators even when the victim is no longer physically with the perpetrators to ensure they always know what the victim is up to and make sure programming is not breaking down.

Therapy interference programming is a wide range of programs that occur to make therapy more difficult for the victim and therefore stop the programming from being discovered and worked on. These frequently overlap with punishment programs such as spin, go insane, and flood.

Theta programming is a fairly recent term for religious programming. It's a very broad label covering everything from parts who believe themselves to be God or Satan to parts who believe they are meant to be a sacrifice or carry the next coming of Christ. This is not an exhaustive list and I couldn't possibly fit all experiences of religious programming into one tumblr post.

An important thing to keep in mind is that programming will be unique to the victim and no one can tell you whether or not something is a program. There is also a lot more programs that I have listed here like I mentioned above however I heavily discourage the public use of specific programs because they can very easily be taken advantage of.

Also remember that every part is heavily traumatised and exists for survival. There is no such thing as a bad part because they all exist for a reason even if they have maladaptive coping skills and are programmed to be destructive, patience and compassion is necessary for those parts to recover and recovery for them is very much possible.

Dangers

Ideally everyone would be able to deprogram with a safe professional who is trained in programming however that is not always the case. While you cannot process trauma without a therapist there are several ways for you to slowly begin deprogramming as stated in Allison Miller's Becoming Yourself. However there are still many dangers such as omega and callback programs being triggered which can result in death or returning to your group assuming you left in the first place because many victims don't realise they are still in contact with their groups.

Another danger is consuming information aimed at therapists such as Allison Miller's other book and a whole variety of resources that frequently go around RAMCOA spaces. These books go into far too many details and not only run the risk of triggering programs that could potentially kill victims of programming but also run the risk of heavily retraumatising victims. Suvivors of other types of abuse could also be traumatised by reading such detailed accounts of abuse. It is dangerous to be reading professional resources without a therapist and/or without being in recovery long enough to where your window of tolerance is much wider.

Online spaces are full of misinformation ontop of being very anti recovery. They encourage the use of very specific program names publicly and have roles for those as well as scripts which I shouldn't have to explain how dangerous that is. The more specific the program the easier it will be for bad people to figure out cues and harm you. Remember that safety as a programming survivor is extremely important as groups can and do target people online. Be very mindful of the information you share online about your system and trauma especially if you are minor and/or not in therapy with a strong support system.

Frequently Asked Questions

- Why do people program?

The main reason is power and control. Perpetrators have near total control over their victim and their mind which in their eyes is also a way to never get exposed because of the dissociative barriers which is not always actually the case.

Perpetrators also use programming in order to exploit their victims through human trafficking, drug trafficking, military work, furthering their cult's agenda, teaching them to program so they can continue to work for the group, etc.

- Is programming always a type of organised abuse?

Yes, in order for programming to be successful there needs to be several people in order to reinforce the programming and create the systematic abuse and torture that is needed in order to program someone.

Parents are not always involved however DID/OSDD-1 require a disorganised attachment style which comes from caregivers who are not intune with the child's needs including dismissing any disclosures or signs of abuse.

- Can programming be unintentional?

No, because of the systematic abuse and torture that is required for programming it will always be intentional. However perpetrators may not fully understand the concept of DID/OSDD-1 which can show up in various ways.

- Can programming happen online?

No, programming require near constant access to the victim as well as enough trauma to make the victim believe they will die which is not possible online. You can have preexisting programming be cued online as well as be conditoned online but you cannot be programmed solely online.

- Can programming happen later in life?

Yes, however it will not create a system and if the victim is already a system then the perpetrators will not have the same level of control as they would if they created a system for example they would not be able to control amnesia or switches between pre existing parts or change the splitting patterns.

- What do programs feel like?

In my experience, it feels like I am going into a trance. I only have one thing on my mind and I am heavily depersonalised almost watching myself from a distance. I have little to no control over what I am doing and afterwards I am disoriented and confused as to what happened.

#hc did #hcdid #ramcoa #mind control #organised abuse #tbmc #trauma based mind control #programming

[tortured-self]

I hate being called a survivor.

I know it's a big thing in trauma communities, and especially in RAMCOA/OEA spaces, to refer to oneself as a survivor. But I don't feel like a survivor, and while I may have survived physically, mentally I am not the same as I would have been without going through everything I have, whoever I would've been without all this did not survive and I mourn the life I didn't have, the person I didn't become.

I am a victim of the abuse I went through more than I am a survivor.

#personal #vent #personal vent #oea #ramcoa #organised abuse #organized abuse

[hc-did-culture-is]

Hey um, probably unrelated but do you have any resources that actually explain what ramcoa is? So far I've only seen post half explaining programming and using terms we've never heard of in our life, and the more we try and search for explanations on what it is the more complex the information gets and the more confused we get??

I'm sorry if reading this was triggering in any way but I genuinely wanna know what ramcoa is but nobody seems to have an actual answer past what the acronym means...

not triggering, but we appreciate the concern.

we couldn't find any decent resources that explain all of them together, so we wrote one for you.

RAMCOA is an acronym that refers to three types of abuse: ritual abuse, mind control, and organised abuse. to my knowledge, they're grouped together because they're all very intentional, repetitive, and complex types of abuse that are often (but not always) used in tandem. RA/ritual abuse is when the perpetrator(s) abuse the victim(s) in specific or 'ritual' ways. it is typically centred on a set of ideals or values, religious or otherwise. examples include cults and government training programs. MC/mind control (also known as TBMC/trauma based mind control) is when a perpetrator intentionally and systematically abuses a person into acting/feeling/thinking in ways the perpetrator's desired ways. alongside repeated and severe abuse/torture MC may also include drugs, deprivation of food/water/sleep/shelter, isolation, reward/punishment systems, etc. examples include cults, unethical medical experimentation, and child porn rings. OA/organised abuse is abuse involving one or more perpetrators and one or more victims, where the abuse is planned or structured. examples include cults, trafficking rings, and institutional abuse (like in schools or governments).

hope this helps explain things

#ramcoa #hc did #system #tbmc #abuse #ra #mc #oa #ritual abuse #organised abuse #trauma based mind control #highly complex answers

[unwelcome-ozian]

could you recommend any other blogs on here or other online resources that speak about DID/RAMCOA?

RAMCOA Resources

RA-Free: Ritual Abuse, Mind Control, and Organized Abuse

Beauty After Bruises

ISSTD

First Person Plural

Oz

#answers to questions #RAMCOA #ritual abuse #mind control #organized abuse #organised abuse #resources #blogs on RAMCOA

[antis-hell]

Bit late lol but happy new year to all the survivors of ramcoa/ Extreme abuse out there

Remember that every year you survive is a year of defiance, and you regaining your freedom<3

You will be okay one day

#ramcoa #positivity #organised abuse #cult survivor #trauma support

[hiraetheanine]

TW: RAMCOA, Mentions of Christianity/Catholicism, Last Dawn Programming, Execution Day Programming, Callback/Chi Programming.

I am a RAMCOA victim, but I cannot remember the majority of it. I recently came to a discovery about something I have believed for a long time.

This is the only place I feel as though I can say it despite it possibly not being safe. Perhaps I can find other people through this who have been through the same thing.

I turned 18 this year. I was told I would die by 18. I don’t remember being told this, but for as long as I can remember I thought I would die by 18. In headspace we had a clock counting down our inevitable death.

As the date approached our memory was jogged and we remembered what we were supposed to die by. A green comet. We accepted that fact and fully believed in it, so we did not plan for a life after 18. We theorised what would happen after death. It did not scare us, it comforted us.

Then our birthday came and a month after a green comet passed by the Earth. Green comets are rare.

Our birthday was anticlimactic and afterwards we split an alter who thought they were dead (or multiple) and fell into a severe depressive episode. But that day and the days following up to it were full of dissociation and an extreme mess.

It’s been a few months since then. Sometimes our Chi program acts up and searches for anything and everything about the group to go back. Or people who will abuse us again, the same way, or even worse. It craves it. It wants it to happen. Sometimes our paranoia gets the best of us and worries that they’re back. Something triggers it, but I’m not sure what. Sometimes we wish to die. Sometimes we become hypervigilant and look for all information we can about green comets.

I have a few theories about what the group was, but no names. I don’t know if the green comet was a big part of the group or not. I don’t remember anything. Sometimes I fear I’m making it up, but I remember other groups such as a predator ring and more, and reactions to things that shouldn’t cause a reaction. When I first started reading about RAMCOA it caused a system shut down, it caused us to run away from home, it caused us to sit at 2 am with homeless people talking about the world, it caused us to pass out and have seizures from stress. And now we’re diagnosed with a seizure disorder and have seizures multiple times a week, typically induced by stress. Despite that, I still feel like I’m making it all up, or that I have a delusional disorder of some kind. I think I’m writing this in hopes to have any sort of comfort that I’m not alone or delusional as people have said I am.

My Theories:

1. Green Comet is a metaphor for the Fourth Horseman of Revelation.

2. The cult was a copycat cult of the Heaven’s Gate.

3. It was personalised.

Green Comets are rare, so why specifically green? The Fourth Horseman of Revelation is Death, and rides a pale green horse. I have had a fear of horses, but I thought it was due to my mother’s own fear. It feels like a fear but not my own fear at the same time. We are catholic and come from an extremely Catholic country. The four horsemen are catholic/christian. My step dad was incredibly religious, but he died when I was around 11.

I don’t know too much about Heaven’s Gate but when I try to find information about a green comet cult, it shows up. I recall, when I was younger, naming something Heaven’s Gate before knowing what it meant.

A friend of mine said that the group could have personalised it to me specifically. But I hope not. I don’t want to be alone in this.

I’m not entirely sure what to believe. I think there is a hope that I can find survivors of the same cult, and reassurance that I’m not alone and I’m not making this up.

#ramcoa #tbmc #ritual abuse #organised abuse #organized abuse #hc did #hc did system #ramcoa system #cult survivor #death cult #ra #mc #oa #cult #religious abuse #religious cult #our post

[echo-of-kaushal]

#organized harassment #organized abuse #law and order organized crime #organised abuse #freedom #gangstalking #spirit of justice #social justice #truth #equality #gangstalkers #Article21 #legal #whysosecret

[blurrsbf]

anyway ramcoa isnt real and is a literal antisemitic conspiracy theory y'all are awful <3

#ramcoa #dissociative identity disorder #actually did #ritual abuse #organised abuse #mind control

[dashmore-springs]

Pleasures & Advise

no, not for god. there was no god. it was organised abuse and it was coming from their organisation towards those like himself. this was an empirically lived fact. it was actuality.

excerpt

#pleasures #advise #organised abuse

[laurasimonsdaughter]

Dear MagiSoWo

I'm a teen born to a vampire father and human mother. I live with my father, though. I show no vampiric traits yet, which upsets him occasionally and means he's extremely overprotective of me, so overprotective that I'm almost always stuck at home or I'm at school. He lets me go out with friends sometimes, but not as often as I would like. I just want to be able to have fun with someone who isn't him once in a while. He also wants me to be like him once I'm in my early 20s, but I don't know if I want that. It seems scary, and I'm just unsure of how to broach either of these topics with him. Any help would be awesome.

Thanks.

- A confused halfbreed(?)

Hello,

Thank you for writing to us. It sounds like you're in a very difficult situation. We can imagine why you feel confused.

From what you've written it seems like your father wants to protect you, but your wish to spend time with friends and your doubts about being turned are completely reasonable.

You are always welcome at any of our offices and community centers. Also outside of walk-in hours. But perhaps the solution to bridging the gap between you and your father lies in our local vampire community.

Fanged, Fledged and Future-proof is the biggest vampire-led nonprofit around and they offer peer-support groups of all kinds. There are support groups for half-vampires like yourself, but also for the parents of vampiric children. If your father is worried about your lack of vampiric traits (which is very common in your phase of existence), he might benefit from speaking to other vampire-parents in the community. And perhaps he will be more comfortable contacting a fully vampire focussed organisation like F3. Speaking to other (half) vampires about your situation, might help you both talk to each other as well.

Hopefully this is helpful to you. If it isn't, please don't hesitate to contact us again. We shall enclose our overview of local MagISoWo support numbers, in case you ever want to call or text.

~ the MagISoWo Team

#not included in this message: #the vampire social worker in the team being held back by a human and selkie coworker #yelling their head off demanding to be given this teenager's address #magisowo #vampire #vampires #this ask made me realise I named two different organisations “F3” #the selkie one and the vampire one #I gotta keep my own lore straight #being turned are completely reasonable. #cw child abuse mention

[tbmc-education]

The Basics of Trauma Based Mind Control

- What is trauma based mind control?

According to RA-Info it is when a person is trained to obey another without question. They go onto explain this happens while other parts of the mind are unaware of this which can happen as a result of TBMC not everyone develops dissociative ammesia as a result of it.

TBMC can happen to anyone at any age and is not inherently a form of organised abuse meaning it can be done by a single perpetrator however it can also be done by groups. TBMC exists on a spectrum and covers a wide range of experiences ranging from ritual abuse to parents conditioning their children to prisoners of war being interrogated. Any variety of disorders can develop as a result of this.

- What is ritual abuse?

RA-Info describes ritual abuse as repeated, extreme, sadistic abuse, especially of children, within a group setting. The group’s ideology is used to justify the abuse, and abuse is used to teach the group’s ideology. All RA is TBMC but not all TBMC is RA. Ritual abuse is also inherently organised abuse.

Any ideology can be used in order to perpetrate ritual abuse. The twisting of religious beliefs such as Christianity, Satanism, etc to justify the abuse are very common. Various forms of white supremacy beliefs are also used.

- What is organised abuse?

Organised abuse is abuse that has two or more perpetrators and multiple victims. Cults, TTI, trafficking rings are some examples of OA but definitely not the only ones. A lot of TBMC occurs in an OA setting but TBMC isn't inherently a type of OA. OrganisedAbuse describes several types of sexual OA.

- What is programming?

Programming is a type of TBMC that is most associated with dissociative identity disorder (DID) however it is not the only disorder that can develop as a result of it. Programming is the process of teaching a person unquestioned obedience with the intention of fragmenting the mind and creating dissociative amnesia/barriers between the parts. Programming is inherently a form of organised abuse as it requires constant access to the victim and several people in order to reinforce it.

This is commonly done on children as they can develop DID however certain groups may attempt it on adults which would lead to OSDD-2. It is not necessary to have DID to have gone through programming in childhood, other disorders such as BPD, CPTSD and dissociative disorders can also give perpetrators their "desired results." This account will mainly focus on programmed DID as it is what I have most knowledge in.

- What are programs?

Programs are specific types of conditoning that are given to different parts. There exists a whole lot of different terms for different types however I do not endorse the use of most of them publicly as that can be incredibly dangerous however asks about them are allowed.

Below is a list of broad programs that I will frequently use on this blog. Keep in mind that a specific part can be a mix of two or more of these programs.

Alpha is 'base' programming, it involves obedience and lays the base down for the rest of the programming as well as scripts and organisational programming.

Beta is sexual programming.

Chi/Callback is return/report to the perpetrator, it involves parts staying in contact with the perpetrators and/or going back in order to be reprogrammed.

Delta is aggression programming, commonly associated with assassin parts however aggressive parts of any kind including preparator parts fall under this.

Epsilon is dehumanisation programming, it creates parts which believe they are nonhuman in some capacity such as animals or objects.

Omega is punishment programming, it includes suicide (both successful and intentionally failed), self harming and internal punishments such as floods which as triggered by breaking perpetrator rules.

Organisational programming is exactly what it sounds like, a program to organise parts. Common ones include numbers, gems, flowers, etc.

Theta is religious programming.

- Traumatic conditioning vs programming?

All programming is conditioning but not all conditioning is programming. Programming involves a group of people who intentionally and systematically abuse children or vunerable adults in an attempt to create dissociative barriers whereas traumatic conditioning can be done by any amount of people and can be done unintentionally.

- What is deprogramming?

Deprogramming is the concept of undoing programming or heavy conditioning. It is not something done to you but rather something you choose to do yourself with the help with a professional. It involves processing trauma, building communication with parts, grounding into the present, developing past the trauma and taking on different roles/jobs instead of doing what they were assigned to do by perpetrators.

It is best to deprogram with the help of a therapist who is trained in TBMC due to the risk of triggering omega and callback programming however there are ways to manage your symptoms and start lightly deprogramming alone or with the help of a therapist not trained in TBMC. Books such as Becoming Yourself by Allison Miller is written specifically for survivors and contains plenty of valuable information.

#basics #programming #ramcoa #ritual abuse #mind control #organised abuse #ra #mc #oa #sra #hcdid #tbmc #hc did #trauma based mind control #highly complex did

[transfagfemme]

"We need more complex traumatised characters" YOU GUYS CANNOT EVEN HANDLE ANDREW MINYARD!!!!

#I saw someone call him a RIKO DUPE???????? RIKO??? AS IN THE GUY WHO ORGANISED ANDREW'S RAPE???? ur gonna have to hold me back #also the misogyny allegations too 😭😭 #he's not comparable to a [sexual] abuser or a misogynist. he's just a complex character and a dickhead ☠️ #aftg #andrew minyard #🐈

[unwelcome-ozian]

This is heavy, so I apologize in advance if it's triggering. I'll only add what I deem important, but I'm at a loss and was hoping for some guidance. Proceed with caution. —

When I was around 6, potentially 5, (this would have been around 2009-2010, though there was likely CSA before that, and from 2010-2014 there was no abuse I'm aware of) our mother's boyfriend at the time sexually abused us and even snuck us out late at night to be sexually abused by the fraternity brothers that lived next to our home. I was often intoxicated (usually alcohol or sleep medications) to make me weaker, and had threats made to my life and the lives of those I loved. I have memories of being extremely firmly commanded to kill myself if I ever betrayed my "owners" by revealing the specifics of what happened. I don't know if the word Judas was ever explicitly used, though I have always resonated with Judas's betrayal (and was fascinated with other famous betrayals throughout history, such as Benedict Arnold). I had seen your post about Judas programming a few years (?) back and felt it really resonated with my experience, but I'm not entirely sure. I developed a subsystem, where I as the host of it handled the trauma and "accepted" it, another part holds the disorientation and extreme dehumanization, another holds the loss of innocence, and others are introjects based on certain groups of people that I remember being involved. I'm now trying to work through this trauma, yet don't feel safe enough talking to our therapist at all, especially not about this trauma as its severity is just... too much. I experienced CSA, CSEM, forced dehumanization, and torture, I also believe hypnosis was used although it's hard to tell since I was usually intoxicated. —

That was the background, I just wanted to provide it before asking:

Is it possible that I was programmed by certain members of the fraternity or our mother's ex-boyfriend?

There was certainly a lot of religious influence, and I notice I behave very "soldier-like" at times. I also have certain substitute beliefs that clearly reflect aspects of the trauma, and looking back into childhood I remember engaging in certain behaviors that no child would come up with without specific directions from an outsider, and that were generally bizarre/odd. I don't want to get into detail of specifics, but I was definitely commanded to do those things by my abusers so they could shape me into what they wanted.

I'm just not sure about... anything, I guess? I don't know if these things count as programming or if it's possible that that's what happened. I was likely only under their control for no more than 2 years, and I still had life outside of that abuse (though our daily life was also traumatic at the time). I don't even know if it's possible for a group of young 20 year olds to organize something cohesive enough to create a structured system with programs. I do know there was certainly outside influence on the formation of our system as there's certain aspects of our experience that are clearly placed there for the sake of abuse and didn't form organically just as a result of traumatization. —

That's a lot, and I'll certainly talk to professionals about the specifics and treatments when the opportunity arises, but for now I'm working to gather information on my own while also avoiding triggering certain parts or commands. I just want a simple yes or no of if you think it's possible that programming was involved in those circumstances. If you aren't comfortable answering, no worries, you just seem really educated and I often spiral when I try doing outside research into facets of organized abuse that I relate too much to my experiences. Thank you for everything you do. I wish you well. - HF 🗝️

HF,

I’m sorry for taking so long to reply. 

Is it possible that I was programmed by certain members of the fraternity or our mother's ex-boyfriend?

There are different kinds of programming. The sort of programming you’ve described sounds like grooming, trauma bonds, conditioned responses, used in the form of organised abuse. The range of methods used to traumatise into compliance is a form of programming.

HF, you get to name your abuse. If you feel, and believe it’s programming, call it programming. You can always change your mind and name it something else. Healing is about getting control back. 

I ask for clarification here so I am better able to understand and provide an answer. I’m not word patrol.

I would like to be able to provide you with a simple ‘yes’ or ‘no’. Healing isn’t that black and white. 

Take your time in sorting things out. Be gentle and kind to yourself, and with yourselves. 

Take care,

Oz

#answers to questions #organised abuse #organized abused #TBMC #HR

[zylice]

Abuse in the Loki Show

* Physical and sexual abuse: The main male character was stripped without his consent after being violently subdued, kidnapped and imprisoned. He got bent over a table by a physically stronger female character (B-15) making it look like he was about to be sexually assaulted. He was repeatedly kicked whilst already down, thrown around into things, knocked around and strangled by a much larger and stronger male. There was also a scene where a female character stood over his unconscious body looking like she was going to take advantage of him (Sylvie) who also bit, kneed and elbowed him causing him to clutch himself in pain. He was repeatedly hit, punched and kicked in the balls by another female character (Sif) and lastly he was kissed without giving consent (Sylvie). Another male character (Mobius) was pushed violently onto the ground by his female ‘superior’ (Ravonna.) There was also blatant violence against women such as B-15 punching Sylvie into the ground making her clutch herself and gasp in extreme pain. In the second season, Sylvie blasts the main male character into the ground quite brutally in the third episode. She also brutally hits another female character (Ravonna) in the stomach and kicks her through a time door in the same episode. Sylvie physically assaults the main male character in the final episode of season 2, two of the main male characters exploit a female character Sylvie in the final episode of season 2.

* Bullying, mental and psychological abuse: The main male character (Loki) is shown traumatising footage of events that happened in his life while his captor (Mobius) tells him how bad he is and brings up MORE abusive events and tells him how unimportant he is.

* He was put into a ‘torture time loop’ by his captor (Mobius) where he repeatedly got physically and verbally abused (kicking in the balls, hitting, punching and bullying about ‘deserving to be alone’) by not ‘staying in line’ by the organisation. A female character (Sylvie) leads on the main male character and manipulates him, sexually abuses him, blames and bullies him for all the issues that SHE created and stops him from trying to do the right thing!

* Nazi Symbolism:

- Stripped prisoners without consent.

- Force them to work for you or kill and torture them. Some of the torture methods include being ‘subdued’ and ‘gassed’ inside of a cube.

- Subdue, abuse, restrain, strip and beat them into submission in order to brainwash them, erase their memories and give them ‘Stockholm syndrome’ and ‘befriend’ their abusers (Mobius, B-15)

*Part Two: https://www.tumblr.com/zylice/733670791922778112/abuse-in-the-loki-show-pt-2

#anti loki show #loki show criticism #loki show critical #loki series negativity #loki #loki series #loki tv show #loki tv series #TVA #time variance authority #anti michael waldron #anti eric martin #fuck disney #fuck marvel #tom hiddleston deserves better #justice for loki #justice for Tom Hiddleston #the TVA is a facist Nazi organisation #fuck the loki show #the TVA is a facist organisation #it’s concerning how Disney and marvel can get away with this #save tom hiddleston #protect tom hiddleston #tom Hiddleston was exploited and abused #anti mobius #anti Sylvie #anti lokius #anti Sylki #anti b15 #Loki has Stockholm syndrome

[hellothere-generalangsty]

Okay so remember in like episode 4 when Mon Mothma has a talk with Luthen in the back of the museum-shop and she told him "Don't lecture me on vulnerability. No one is more at risk than I am. You think I haven't thought this through? I'd be the first one to fall."

And remember how in episode 5, Mon Mothma was planning and trying to reorganise a party while Cassian and the team were planning and trying to reorganise a heist against the Empire?

And remember how in episode 6, Taramyn and Gorn and Nemik died, and Cassian had to run away again, and everything was heavy and painful for these people who fought first line?

And remember how in episode 7, Luthen sent Vel to kill Cassian but Cassian was assaulted by a sandtrooper then a protocol droid then arrested and incarcerated without trial, while Mon Mothma was at a party in the comfort of her house, whispering about money and secret rebellions to her friend with a smile on her face and an expensive dress on her back?

And how in episode 8, while Cassian was imprisoned, physically tortured by an electrifying/ paralysing device, working 12h shifts day after day, eating liquid tasteless food through a tube and forced to take a "shower" at the same time as all the other naked prisoners; and while Paak was being brutally arrested and tortured for information; and while Bix was also being arrested and about to be tortured for information; Mon Mothma was at a party in the comfort of her home, an expensive dress on her back, her hair neatly brushed, sharing a drink and smiles with Empire enthousiasts and political enemies? People she seemed to despise a few episodes prior?

Remember?

#i don't know #i just think it was interesting to note #of course she meant that because she is a political figure she is in between these enemies and the risk to be exposed is real #but it's quite a privilege to say she would be the first to fall and then every episode that followed she was organising a party #with these political enemies #while people were/ are dying and tortured and abused and arrested #andor #andor spoilers #sw: andor #sw andor #andor star wars #andor series #mon mothma #cassian andor #star wars #tw mention of torture #tw mention of violence

[emptylotfiasco]

wanting to have sex with a character literally makes EVERYONE STUPID!!!!!!!

#i used to say this about matt murdock and its true. his disease poisons womens brains like the chum bucket helmets in the spongebob movie #and makes them fill his tag with x reader fanfics portraying him as a sexy charming devil even tho his drywall is full of fist sized holes #anywas. this is about sagawa #because i think he is very interesting. i really like this realisation at the end that he was just as much of a cog in the machine as majim #and that all the violence he committed was impersonal and meaningless and thats just part of the world that they live in #but you can also never EVER look for content for him. because everyone hates him and the people who dont hate him WANNA FUCK HIM!!! WHY!!! #and u know what im sure that wouldnt be so bad if wanting to fuck him DIDNT MAKE EVERYONE STUPID!!! #but his grindset mentality and abusive dadcore behaviour has scared away all the intellectual hoes!!!!! #idk.... in the fandom there is a lack of like..... people wanting to engage with a dark crime story on its merits. i know there is antics #but like. theres not just antics. i kind of like the mirei stuff because it goes hey this fan favourite guy you like is A BAD PERSON. #just like all the people in these games. because theyre involved in organised crime. ITS CALLED. ITS CALLED YAKUZA. #so i think icking away from some characters because theyre 'too bad' isnt in the spirit of these games. #when kiryu is beating shibusawa to a pulp at the end of y0 he still thinks of oda you know #and stop wanting to fuck everyone!!!!!!! its making you retarded!!!!!!! ok end of post