#our time chapter 3

[taestefully-in-luv]

Our Time | JJK (Three)

Summary: After an accident and being in a coma for three months, you finally wake. But the last nine years of your life have been completely erased. You rely on none other than your best friend, Jungkook, to help regain your memories and yourself. But what happens when the truth of your missing time starts unraveling and it isn’t all it’s made out to be?

Pairing: Jungkook x Fem Reader (Detective!Jk x Graphic Designer!OC) side pairing: Seokjin x Reader

Genre: crime au, fluff, heavy angst, smut, romance, darker themes, amnesia au. Best friends to ???

Word Count: 12.8k

Warnings: swearing, frustrations of amnesia, mentions of sex dream, mentions of alcohol

a/n: an important chapter 🤭 please let me know what you think! Send an ask if you want to be added to the taglist or just want to chat :]

© taestefully-in-luv

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You are aware that everyone has something like a telltale tic that gives them away when they lie. Body language speaks louder than we think. Whole conversations happen with just the body alone. Arguments, comfort, affection, sex and even a fist to the face. The body speaks even when our mouths refuse. 

You’ve been told all your life that when you lie you always avoid eye contact and shrug awkwardly. Even with knowing that information, you still do it. Because your body speaks for you. Just like how you’ve told Jungkook for years that when he lies he always, without realization, touches or tugs at the skin of his neck while he speaks. His body moves on its own to speak without him having to do it himself. 

Of course there are times you don’t catch it. Heat of the moment, you can’t always observe every little detail and pick up on someone’s body language. But there are times when you do.

Jungkook has been quiet with you since he practically dragged you out of his apartment. No matter how gently he pulled you away from that place, you know when you’re not welcomed somewhere. The drive to your house is only five minutes—if that—but it feels like an eternity of dreaded silence. But his body is speaking. And it’s asking you not to ask any questions. 

It’s too bad that don’t have the patience for that. 

Having patience has never been a trait you’ve had and you doubt that’s changed in nine years either. 

“Jungkook.” You say his name as softly as you can but he still flinches, knuckles turning white from his grip on the steering wheel.

He lightly clears his throat before glancing your way, though his eyes never meet yours. “What’s up?” 

“Do you…” You keep your gaze on him, determined to get at least some answers to what you just saw. “Do you really live there?”

Jungkook’s grip stays the same, his body not tensing more nor tensing less. He expected this question. He keeps his eyes on the road as he answers you, “Yeah.” 

Truth.

“Oh.” You nod slowly, his answer almost throwing you off guard. You didn’t really plan what to say if he answered with ‘yes’. “I’m surprised.” You say honestly, “It barely looks lived in.” 

You watch Jungkook carefully but he stays the same. Tense, expectant, worried. 

You keep going, “Ah, but you are mostly having meals with me at my house so I guess that makes sense. You’re more at my place than yours, huh?” You tilt your head cutely, giving him the indication that you’re trying to lighten the mood and make him more comfortable. 

It works. Your eyes go to his hands and you see how his grip loosens and he’s nodding his head, though it looks hesitant. “Yeah, exactly.” He tells you but his eyes stay on the road still.

You nod, smile appearing on your face. “Exactly.” You repeat. 

He relaxes more as he turns into your neighborhood and he finally glances at you, eyes on yours for the first time since the apartment and he actually gives you a timid smile. 

You’ll take it. For now. But your curiosity is only growing. You know so much is being kept from you and it feels deeper than you first assumed. Jungkook is proving that. You have questions but you’ll have to be smart about how to get your answers.

“Hey,” You start conversation again, gently speaking once more and thankfully, Jungkook doesn’t flinch this time. He only turns his head to look at you for a second, raising his brows before his eyes go back to the road ahead. “Why don’t we still go to the park for ice cream?”

“Oh?” He looks a little surprised. You wonder if he’s surprised because you’re letting this entire apartment thing go. “You want to?”

“Mhm.” You lean back in the seat, legs stretching in front of you. “I read doing as many things as possible could help with this amnesia thing.” You didn’t actually read that but it sounds believable. “Let’s go or what?” You just want him to relax and smile again. 

Jungkook is quiet for a moment, his teeth lazily chewing his lips before he nods. “Yeah, that sounds good.” And then he releases a long breath and you swear you can see his nerves releasing as well. 

You study him for a moment longer, mind whirling in questions and assumptions. But you won’t allow yourself to come to any conclusions.

Not yet.

~

“I can’t believe I’m not friends with Jaewon anymore. I really thought we would be tight forever.” You say right before licking your double scoop ice cream. “Did we have a falling out?”

Jungkook chuckles, “Not at all. He got a girlfriend, moved to France and I think he’s been married for a while. I know they have two kids together.”

“Jaewon has children?!” You look at Jungkook, expressing your disbelief. “I remember when he and I went around looking for these adorable stickers that came with some snack to finish his impressive collection and,” You pause to lick your ice cream again. “He found only one cake left at the same time as these two kids. They were clearly wanting the stickers too. So I said, ‘hey why don’t we just give it to them?’ you know, because they’re just little kids. But he looked me dead in the eye and said ‘fuck them kids.’ And now he’s a father.” You snort, “Truly amazing.”

Jungkook laughs with you, “Isn’t it?”

“I’ll have to stalk him on Instagram when I remember.” You say while mindlessly licking your ice cream again before you remember another old friend. “What about Seri? Are we still friends with her?”

“Seri?” Jungkook tries to hide a peculiar smile. “Were you ever really friends with her?”

“I mean, kind of?” You shrug. “I’m guessing we aren’t close then?”

“y/n,” Jungkook hides his teasing smile behind his ice cream cone. “You never liked her.”

“What? Yes I do. She just annoyed me sometimes.” You quietly huff out, looking defensive.

“Why is that?”

“You know why,” You roll your eyes, bumping into his side. “Sometimes she took her crush on you too far. Like, it’s cool that she likes you—well, liked—but sometimes she made it her entire personality.”

“Uh huh.”

“I’m serious! She is great other than that.”

“Uh huh.”

“Okay, wouldn’t you get annoyed too? I remember one time I was sick and instead of asking me if I was okay she asked if you were free to hang out then?!” 

Jungkook laughs at this, head thrown back before he shakes it. “That’s hilarious.”

“Sure.” You look displeased. “She has other good qualities though.” 

“Oh, y/n, y/n, y/n.” Jungkook puts a hand on your shoulder and he spills a little secret. “It’s okay, you don’t need to pretend. One time you admitted to me how you truly feel about her.”

You stop walking and he stops too, blinking at him in surprise. “I did?”

“Mhm,” He drops his hand and starts walking again, urging you to follow. “Years ago.”

“Oh.” You nod your head, feet moving again. “In that case, yeah, she also chewed with her mouth open all the freaking time. She talked way too much during movies and not to mention, she tried hooking me up with her brother! And we all knew he was trash.”

“Wait, Seri tried hooking you up with her brother?! He is literally in jail now.” Jungkook looks peeved, “You never told me that. Why didn’t you tell me that?”

“I don’t know.” You shrug. “I think I planned on it. But wait, why is he in jail?”

“He’s a fucking creep.” Jungkook says, annoyed. “He paid for prostitution, got mixed up in drugs…honestly, the list goes on.” 

“Well, not surprised.” 

“None of us were.” Jungkook agrees, “But anyway, back to Seri.”

“You know she told me that you two made out at Misuk’s 22nd birthday party. I always meant to ask you about it.” You mention this as easygoing as possible. “So did you guys? If so, you definitely made her dreams come—”

“—You definitely did ask me about this,” Jungkook cuts you off, his tone is lighthearted. “Much later, but yeah, you asked.”

“Oh.”

He glances at you and smiles, “I was never interested in Seri. You know me, I didn’t hook up with anyone I wasn’t seriously interested in.”

“I guess.” Your eyes trail across the park, landing on a pond nearby. “Oh! Let’s go over there.” You point at the small body of water before continuing your conversation, “Anyway, what’s Seri up to now?”

“No clue. I don’t follow her on anything.” He hums, “But do you remember her friend Mijoo?”

“Mijoo…wait, the girl who was dating the guy that Subin is into? Wait, I mean was into since she clearly isn’t anymore. You know, with a whole marriage coming up.” 

“Yeah!” Jungkook’s fingers wrap around your wrist to lead you to the pond, “You like this side of the pond better.” He tells you as he guides to the other side where some trees are. “Anyway, Mijoo ended up marrying that guy. But the point is, she works at the company you work at. You two aren’t close but I think you were acquaintances before you started working from home.”

“Oh.” You nod in understanding, “That’s cool!”

Jungkook is offering information about your life. Maybe because he believes it’s harmless.

You two stroll through tall grass that sways left to right, completely abandoning the concrete path. The sun is setting now, the sky a mix of pinks and purples while the sun is a deep, glowing orange. You and Jungkook finish off your ice creams before getting closer to the water.

“It’s pretty, right?” Jungkook stares out over the calm water. “We can see the sun set here.”

“Do we come here often? It kind of feels familiar.” You admit to him, heart picking up but you can’t place why.

Jungkook doesn’t tear his eyes off the sky or the water, his mind figuring out an answer when he settles for, “Sometimes.”

Truth.

“Do you…” You focus on the feeling in your chest. You can’t tell if it’s discomfort or if it just feels unknown. “Do you like it here?” You ask, voice quieter than before. You aren’t sure why you even asked that, really.

Jungkook’s chest stops moving. Like he is suddenly holding his breath and it doesn’t go unseen by you. “I don’t know.” He finally answers. Tongue pushing against his cheek and you know, like usual, it means he doesn’t intend to elaborate. 

“Then—”

Suddenly, Jungkook chuckles to himself. “—By the way, when you were like 27 you got us kicked out of a bar.”

“Huh?” You stare at him, his eyes still on the water. “Why did I get us kicked out?” And why is he bringing it up?

“Some random guy tried to fight me.” He shrugs like it’s no big deal. “I didn’t even notice that he had beef with me. Anyway, you noticed.” He cracks a smile. “And you tried to fight him in my honor or something.”

You stare at him, bewildered. “No way.”

“I’m serious,” He turns his head to face you, big smile growing on his lips. “You hated the way he talked to me, I guess. And before I knew it you were pushing him and claiming he was going to hit me.” He starts cracking up. “I had no idea, seriously.”

“Wow, I am so cool.” You nod subtly, “Best friend of the century.”

Jungkook’s smile goes from big and wide to soft and shy. “You are.” Then he rolls his eyes. “But the guy was friends with the staff so they kicked us out instead of him.”

“Of course.” You roll your eyes too, giggling. 

You realize he isn’t just telling you things he believes would be harmless. No, that’s not it. He’s telling you things to compensate for the fact he’s not really telling you anything. He’s feeding you stories to distract from his own story. The one you’re more curious about and you know he knows that.

You both share a moment looking out at the pond. Water as calm and still as can be. The complete opposite of whatever is going on with your heart. There’s something about this place that feels so familiar but you can’t place it and it drives you crazy.

You only see the top half of the sun now, the bottom half dipped into the horizon and the sky is lacking as many colors as a dark and deep blue starts taking over and a few stars start to shine.

“This looks like the perfect place to share secrets.” The words spill mindlessly from your mouth before you feel your entire body go as still as the water. 

‘Doesn’t this place make you want to share secrets?’ ‘Oh? What secret should I share with you?’ ‘Something juicy.’ ‘How about the first time I—’ 

“y/n?” Jungkook’s voice interrupts your thoughts. “y/n…” His hand comes to your shoulder and you feel his worried gaze on you. But you can’t focus on that.

You’re trying to focus on breathing again.

What was that?

Sunset. Another sunset. Water. Ducks. Rain. Sunshine. You. Jungkook. Tree. 

You try to make sense of what you’re seeing in your head. The voices. Your voice. Jungkook’s voice. You and him. Here. 

You stare at the water, blinking fast now as you try to make sense of the images in your head. Suddenly, you’re breathing. But you’re breathing too much.

“Hey,” Jungkook steps in front of you, both hands on your shoulders. You find his eyes and you find comfort immediately. 

Was that your imagination? Did you remember something? Did you brain make that up? You swear that felt real…felt like it’s happened.

“J-Jungkook.” You feel the panic set in. Your lips tingle and your hands are growing sweaty. “I think I kind of…” You pause, mouth going so dry it feels impossible to speak. You urge yourself to calm down but you only feel anxious. This feels new—brand new—unknown and scary. 

“Hey, hey.” Jungkook rubs his fingers into your shoulders, “Okay, it’s okay.” He remains calm, his voice smooth and steady but the concern is evident in his eyes. “I’m here.”

You nod your head quickly, trying to let him know you understand but you feel lightheaded. “Please hug me.” You request almost silently. “Plea—”

Jungkook brings you close to him, your body melting against his. You inhale him as you breathe and his scent automatically gives you a sense of comfort but almost instantly it feels like ten different images start shooting through your brain. All hugs with Jungkook. All ten images are different scenarios of Jungkook’s arms wrapped around you. Even some you recognize…like the hug he gave you the day he thanked you for coming to his police academy graduation. And one hug you don’t recognize at all.

Overwhelmed, you push Jungkook away.

“Sorry, I just…” You mumble, eyes darting around the park. “I think I know this place.”

Jungkook tries his hardest not to frown but he does. “You’ve been here a lot.” He says, almost nervously. “I thought it would be a place to…” He stops, eyes falling to his empty hands. “There’s a lot of memories here so I thought—”

“—Are some of those memories not good?” You ask him, trying to keep your voice calm.

“Not every memory that lives lost in your head is a good one.” He says, his voice just as calm. “But I am here with you for every single one.” He lifts his eyes back to you. “I promise.”

For the first time, you don’t want to avoid a memory because it could be overwhelming. You’re suddenly wanting to stay away because you’re starting to gather that not everything is rainbows and sunshine. Not just your life but other’s lives as well. Your best friend for instance.

“Hey,” Jungkook walks closer to you again, his hands finding your hands. His fingers playing with your fingers and the touch feels like how you yearn for. You don’t remember it ever feeling this way. “I didn’t mean to scare you.” He says quietly, his voice only for you. “There are so many good things running around in your brain and I can’t wait for you to know them.”

You might be curious about a million things right now. But 24 year old you, with a huge crush on this man before you, has something else to be curious about.

What exactly is your relationship with Jeon Jungkook? Because this feels like something you know, you just don’t know it yet.

~

You know it has to be around 9pm by now. The sun has long set and the night sky is dark and cloudy but it feels nice. Jungkook parks in front of your house and you know his intention is to just drop you off because he doesn’t make a move to turn off the engine or take his seatbelt off. Usually it would be fine—going home by yourself for the night—but you imagine your best friend returning to his apartment and the thought makes your heart pinch.

“Want to stay the night?” You throw out the idea with obvious enthusiasm. “It’s Friday!”

“Stay the night?” He repeats your question quietly, eyes looking ahead. 

“Yeah.” You finally reach to unbuckle the seat belt that feels tight against your chest. “I don’t really want to hang out by myself. I’m still wide awake.” You try to give a solid reason. “You don’t want to keep being with me?”

Jungkook’s head immediately turns in your direction and his eyes are big and guilty on you. “No, no.” He shakes his head now, “That’s not…of course,” He pauses, gulping down his spit before continuing. “Of course I’d still love to be with you, y/n.” He tells you, eyes still looking guilty. “Is that what you want?”

You feel it’s a bit easier to breathe. Because the seatbelt is no longer caging you in? Or because he still wants to be with you? Either way, you’re content. “Yeah.” You say, nodding in the direction of your house. “Let’s go inside and have tea or something. We can watch a movie.”

Jungkook nods slowly, his fingers messing with the buckle of the seatbelt before he’s getting out of his own restraint. “Okay.” And then he’s turning off the car.

You both walk to your front door in silence, side by side and you feel a mix of emotions swirling inside your belly. You cringe at yourself and laugh internally because why does it feel like the kind of nerves you have after a first date? 

You walk slowly and so does he. He’s right next to you and you feel fucking nervous. And you know what doesn’t help? When his knuckles barely brush against yours on fucking accident and you both quickly bring your hands to yourselves. How strange. How awkward. But also, how interesting.

Once inside your home, you head to the kitchen to make some tea. Jungkook accompanies you but he’s only sitting at the counter, fingers laced on top as he stares down at his hands in silence. Since waking up from the coma, you have felt a strong, lingering sadness inside of Jungkook but lately, especially after today, you feel it’s only gotten stronger.

You blame yourself, of course. He’s your best friend and you know with everything that has happened that he’s taken it hard. You don’t blame him, you have lost nine years of your important friendship with him and you imagine that must be tough for him to live with. But what really worries you is that he lives alone in an apartment that feels like the furthest thing from a ‘home’ and he isn’t able to talk to you about it. Is he afraid he would overwhelm you?

“Here.” You slide a cup of tea across the granite countertop. “It’s hot, though.”

“Thanks.” He murmurs, eyes lifting to yours and you wish you could make the apparent sadness in them go away. 

You decide to lighten the mood with a small, teasing grin. “See? I can do things for you too!”

Jungkook’s big eyes only look more sad as he responds, “You always do things for me, y/n.”

“Ah really?” You keep your gaze on him, grin falling into a tender smile. “Like what? What’s something that I’ve done for you that I have no idea?”

Jungkook cracks a half smile, “You’re trying to get things out of me, huh?”

You respond with a smirk, “Tell me something harmless, Jungkook.” 

Jungkook hums out cutely, eyes narrowing before he reaches for the cup of tea and blowing on it, eyes locking with yours, taking his sweet time as you wait. 

“Oh, come on.” You place your elbows to the counter and lean your chin into your palms, “I can handle it.” 

“Okay.” He says before taking a small sip of the tea. “I was working really late one night…on a really important case.” Jungkook stares down at the cup of tea in his hands before setting it back down. A certain look flashes across his face but he shakes it off. “I was so stressed and you showed up out of nowhere. I swear, the only times Jimin smiled at work is when you’d show up.” He rolls his eyes at this, “But anyway, you showed up with takeout and homemade cookies. And you hung out with me for a while to kind of,” He pauses to think about it. “I don’t know, I think you just wanted to distract me from the stress for a while before I got back into work.”

“Homemade cookies?” You tilt your head, “Since when do I bake?”

He chuckles, “You got pretty good at baking.”

“Oh wow.”

“Anyway, I remember when I thought I finally got a good idea on how to crack the particular case and I didn’t even have to tell you anything.” He bites down onto his bottom lip, perhaps suppressing a smile. “I swear you saw the look on my face and you knew immediately. You left me to it and I got the furthest I had ever gotten. Anyway, I swear I wouldn’t have without you showing up that night to kind of get me out of my head so I could have fresh thoughts, I guess.”

“Wow, I’m amazing. I’m like your support detective.” You soften, dopey smile growing on your lips. “I should have become one too.” You say, obviously joking.

“Well, you’d be good at it.” He tells you, fingers wrapping around the warm tea cup again. “You’re the whole reason I wanted to become a detective, anyway.”

Your eyebrows climb up your forehead in genuine shock, “W-What?”

“Oh, right.” Jungkook’s eyes stay on the tea. “I didn’t tell you that until years later, huh?”

 You straighten your posture and point at yourself, “I’m the reason?”

Jungkook’s eyes stay lingering on the cup in his hands, “Yeah.”

“Can I ask why?”

He finally tears his eyes off the cup and looks at you with a smile, “I’d expect you to.”

You stare at him in complete awe, your dopey smile returning to your face. “Okay then—”

Suddenly, your phone is ringing in your pocket. You’re quick to slide it out and see who is calling you and you glance at Jungkook in apology when you show him the screen to show Misuk is calling. 

“Hello?” You answer on the fifth ring.

“Hey!” Misuk sings out, “Sorry it’s kind of late but Subin and I were thinking of having breakfast at that café she likes. Want to come? Like 10ish?”

“Oh,” You look at Jungkook again, his attention on the tea. “Yeah, that sounds nice. Can Jungkook come too?” You ask, innocence in your voice but Jungkook looks up at you immediately, worry in his eyes before he’s shaking his head. 

“Umm,” Misuk is quiet on the other end for a moment before continuing, “I was thinking it could be a girls thing?”

“Since when did we only do girls stuff and exclude—”

“It’s okay.” Jungkook whispers to you, head still shaking. 

“Fine,” You keep your eyes on him, “Girls thing it is.”

“It’ll be fun! The three of us!” Misuk tells you, “I’ll text when I’m on the way in the morning. See you then.”

“Okay, see you. Bye.” You lower the phone from your ear, pressing the ‘end’ button before placing your phone on the counter. “Sorry, it’s a girls thing.”

“It’s okay!” Jungkook gives you a trying smile. “You should spend time, just you three. They’ve missed you, too.”

“Yeah,” You nod at him. “I guess you’re right.”

“Should we watch a movie now?” Jungkook stands from the stool, taking his cup of tea with him. 

“Ugh, another movie to spark a memory, huh?” You watch as he makes his way to the living room, your feet dragging behind him. 

Jungkook turns only for a moment, “No. An old movie we both love. A movie you already know.”

You can guess why, but the pressure to not try hard to remember something you’re supposed to know suddenly makes you feel so much lighter. And Jungkook probably knows you’ve had enough for the day. “Perfect.” You answer, “That sounds perfect.”

~~~

Waking up drenched in sweat in not how you expected to greet this Saturday morning’s sun. You lay here, eyes wide and on the ceiling trying your hardest to replay the dream you just had. You aren’t laying here trying your best to rewatch a nightmare. No, that’s not why you woke up with sweat gathered at your hairline and a racing heartbeat. You’re trying so hard to replay every little detail of this dream because it was hot. Steamy, sexy hot. Not hot as in heat and that’s why you’re sweating. 

You close your eyes, images of the dream swarming behind your eyelids. Hands. Hands all over you. Lips. Lips all over you. Tongue. Tongue all over you. Your eyes spring open again, your chest still heaving from the dream as you try to dive back into it. But the dream is fading. And it’s fading fast. Suddenly, you can’t remember any of the details anymore. And it pisses you off. 

After showering and getting ready for your breakfast hang out with the girls, you quietly slip out of your bedroom. You walk through the hall and you stop dead in your tracks when you spot Jungkook. He’s innocently sleeping on your sofa, mouth slightly hung open as soft snores escape. He looks peaceful. You swallow hard, your fingers smoothing down your blouse as you keep watching him. 

How would Jungkook feel knowing you just had a very steamy sex dream about him? His hands, his lips, his tongue. Lucky for him—and lucky for you—you don’t remember too much about it anymore. But you know the dream happened. But as much as you wish you could remember every little detail and play it in your mind on repeat to fulfill some delusional fantasy of yours…you’re actually glad that it can’t distract you for the rest of the day.

Because it fucking would.

You check the time on your phone.

9:32am

You need to head out. You take one last look at sleeping Jungkook before turning on your heels to grab your purse, shoes and keys to your car. You have yet to drive your own vehicle so it’ll feel a bit fun—brand new car to you—and Dr. Lee says you can drive short distances now.

You pull into the same café that Subin brought you to that one time, eyes on the lookout for a parking spot but it is Saturday morning and it’s looking busy. Finally, after driving in circles, you see someone pulling out and you rush to take the free spot. 

Inside the café is just as busy as the parking lot. Tons of full tables, servers running around in panic about some wrong order and the hostess remaining calm as customers complain about the long wait. Luckily, Subin and Misuk got here before you and they already have a table. Somewhere near the back again, by the bathrooms. 

You spot Subin, waving her hands around with a huge smile on her face. You return her smile while walking closer to the table that her and Misuk are at. 

But you run into someone—literally.

“Oh sorry!” You apologize quickly, “I—” You stop speaking when the same feeling as last time comes back to haunt you. You glance down at the name tag again.

Nabi.

“Oh…no, no.” She shakes her head, smile on her lips. “It’s okay. Really…it’s okay…” She tells you, her eyes suddenly looking everywhere but you. Her voice is soft and kind. And so fucking familiar. 

“You’re the one who served us last time.” You tell her, trying your best to make eye contact. “You probably don’t remember—”

“—Ah, no. I remember.” Nabi finally looks at you and there is undeniable kindness in her eyes as well but there is also something else. She glances around again, her eyes going to other tables, to the windows, behind her, behind you…before she finally looks at you again. You see concern in her eyes. “Have a lovely meal.” She says quickly, bowing her head before walking off. 

Weird.

You shake off the familiar feeling before approaching the table your friends are at.

“Hey!” You call out, still a feet few away before you’re pulling a free chair out and sitting down. “This place is poppin’, huh?” You say while glancing around. 

“Yeah.” Subin agrees right away, “Crazy, right? It’s only been open for like, what? Two years probably? I saw a Tik Tok about it and had to check it out.”

“Not even going to ask about whatever Tik Tok is.” You mumble, eyes going down to the menu in your hands.

“I told you about it!” Subin whines, “You need to download it!”

“Eh,” You shrug. “33 year old me is off social media apparently. I’m trying to respect her wishes.” You joke, eyes scanning the menu when you see an omelet that catches your eye.

“And how is 24 year old you liking that?” Misuk chuckles, “Are you surviving?”

“Somehow I am.” You laugh as well before your mind thinks of something else…”Hey…do you guys know why I deleted my social media?” You look up from your menu, “I didn’t think much of it but,” You look between your two friends but they don’t have any answers written on their faces. “Well, Jungkook mentioned it was maybe around six months ago…and here’s the crazy thing…I ran into this guy who said I randomly ghosted him around the same time!” 

Misuk’s brows pinch together, “A guy?” She then glances at Subin who looks as confused as her.

“Yeah!” You nod quickly, “I thought maybe he was an ex. So I started connecting the dots! Maybe we broke up and I wanted to lay low after the breakup? And that’s why I del—”

“—A breakup?” Subin asks, her eyes going between you and Misuk. “I don’t think you were…dating anyone…” She says slowly, carefully. Eyes darting between you and Misuk and you can see how she’s silently asking Misuk to help out. And as usual, Misuk doesn’t get the hint.

“Maybe I just didn’t want to make a big deal about it?” You question more to yourself. “Maybe I was trying to be lowkey…”

“Did you tell Jungkook?” Misuk finally contributes. “Did he know who the guy was?”

“Huh?” You finally set the menu down to the table. “No, he wasn’t with me. And when I mentioned it, he had no idea either.” 

“Well, I feel just as clueless.” Subin admits softly. “Maybe the guy got the wrong girl.”

“No,” You look down, teeth nibbling on your lips. “I think he knew me.”

“Well, maybe it just isn’t important.” Misuk decides to say, her eyes going back to the menu. “What’s important is you regaining memories that probably matter more.”

“Workin’ on it, boss.” You say blandly, with the roll of your eyes. 

“Hey,” Misuk’s tone grows softer. “I know.”

“Anyway,” You shake your head and plaster a smile on your face. “Subin, your pictures were this week, right?”

And immediately, Subin’s face brightens. You love how in love she looks. “Yes! Oh my god, I have a few that the photographer sent me. Let me show you!” She is quickly grabbing her phone and finding the photos. 

You take her phone and start scrolling through a few images. Your heart melts at the sight…Subin looks gorgeous in the arms of her soon to be husband. You don’t even remember his name. And his face in these photos definitely don’t ring a bell.  “You look amazing.” You breathe out, “And so happy.”

“Thanks.” Subin blushes at the compliment, “Garam is the love of my life. And I can’t believe we waited this long to get married and what not!”

“Well, we all know y/n doesn’t believe in wasting any time when she knows something is right.” Misuk chuckles, “Remember when she switched her major the second she realized she loved digital art more than environmental science?”

“Oh yeah,” Subin covers her mouth while she giggles. “She didn’t even have experience in it, right? But she looked us in the eyes and said, ‘I’m going to do this as my career.’ And the next day went to her advisor and made the switch.”

“What can I say?” You smile, feeling proud. “I knew it in my gut that it was what I was meant to do.”  

“I also remember that Subin and I were so against it.” Misuk shakes her head, still smiling. “We asked you to at least think about it!”

“I swear maybe she would have thought about it but Jungkook was totally on her side.” Subin sighs out, “He took one look at what she created on her tablet and said—”

“Isn’t this what you’re meant to do?” You say, almost dreamily as you remember your best friend’s words. “He even went with me when I went to talk to my advisor. He waited outside the door and when I was finished he took me drinking to celebrate.”

“Went drinking?” Misuk avoids your eyes, “Not surprised.” 

“Misuk.” Subin says quietly before brightening again. “How are things with Jungkook? He’s taking care of you?”

“He’s the best.”

“The best.” Misuk scoffs.

“Misuk.” Subin says her name louder this time. “It’s—”

“—I don’t know what went wrong with you and Jungkook, Misuk.” You cut in, face falling more serious. “But Jungkook is my person and I hate seeing how you clearly have beef with him. He’s being civil so why can’t you be?”

An inevitable silence falls on the table. As well as inevitable tension. 

You take a deep breath, trying to calm your fiery nerves. “Just tell me what happened already. I can’t stand—”

“No.” Misuk says, voice calm but there is something cold to it. “Not yet, anyway.”

“Why?” 

She looks at Subin who is, as usual, speaking with her eyes. “I just can’t.” Misuk tells you, finally looking your way. “Nothing would make sense anyway. Let’s just drop it. I’m sorry.”

You scoff. And you scoff loudly. “Okay.” You feel peeved but you don’t want to ruin the breakfast. “I’m going to use the bathroom really quickly.” You begin standing from your chair and point towards the wall behind you three where the bathrooms are.

Neither of them answer with words. 

You walk into the hallway and immediately lean against the wall, sighing out quietly as you try to remain calm. You hate not knowing what’s going—in regards to so many things. Your ears perk up when you can hear Subin and Misuk’s voices from behind the wall.

“You need to go easier on him, Misuk…” You hear Subin’s quiet voice. “This has been hard on everyone. But especially—”

“—Good.” You hear Misuk cut her off bitterly. “I hope he’s fucking suffering.”

Your entire face twists into a look of confusion…what the hell is happening?

“You don’t mean that.” Subin says. “He’s your friend too.”

“Why are you always defending him?”

“I’m not. But we don’t even really know—”

“Drop it, Subin. It gets us nowhere.” 

And then there’s silence. Like their own inevitable tension rises around the table now too. 

You finally tear yourself away from the wall and go inside the restroom. More questions and even less answers. Great.

~

It’s already late afternoon when you return home, tired eyes land on Jungkook who is on the phone while sitting on your sofa. You raise a hand to lazily wave at him and he nods at you while he continues to speak on the phone.

“I know.” He talks into the phone quietly, “You swear he has—Okay, okay. Got it. I can be there in 20.” Jungkook doesn’t even wait for the other person to respond before he’s ending the call. “Hey.” He stands, slipping his phone in his pocket and smiling at you. “How was time with the girls?”

You eye him suspiciously. It feels like how you’re seeing everyone nowadays. “Fine.” You look down at your feet as you take your shoes off. “What have you been up to?”

“Just relaxing.” He tells you, “Working on some stuff too.” He glances at his open laptop that sits on your sofa as well. “But I actually got to head out for a while.”

“Sure.” You respond, feeling and sounding detached. You walk into the living room but before you can sit down, Jungkook’s fingers wrap around your wrist and you struggle not to look into his eyes and crumble. 

“What’s wrong?” Jungkook questions you softly. His fingers still wrapped around your wrist and you swear you feel the heat seep into your skin, like the feeling of first dipping into a hot bubble bath. “You okay? Tired? How’s your head?”

You don’t mean to pull away so quickly, freeing your wrist without much thought. “I’m fine.” 

Jungkook’s brows pull together, his eyes going to his fingers when he examines how empty his hand is now. “O…kay.” His eyes go back to you, “Are you sure?” “No.” You say honestly. “But it’s whatever.”

“It’s not whatever.” Jungkook steps closer to you, his eyes searching yours for answers. “Talk to me, y/n.” He doesn’t rip his gaze off your eyes. He’s staring at you intently and it feels so confusing. “Please…talk to me.”

You feel sucked into the way he’s looking at you. You see his concern so clearly. You see so many thoughts and feelings taking over his eyes and you can read them but some don’t make sense. Not now. You force yourself to look away.

“I said I’m fine.” You sit on the couch, hand going to the top of his laptop and you shut it yourself. “Aren’t you leaving?” 

Jungkook stands here, unsure of what to do. You can see that. You can see how he struggles with how to handle this. You stare at nothing. Hoping there isn’t any readable expression on your face. But you guess there is.

“Y/n…” Jungkook says your name. And suddenly you wish you forgot that too. 

“What?” You finally snap at him, eyes landing on his figure. But you gulp, guilt settling in your chest when you see how he winces. You close your eyes for just a moment, collecting yourself even though you don’t even want to. “I’m so—”

“—Don’t be sorry.” He cuts you off, tone gentle. “It’s okay if you can’t talk to me but is there anything I could do? To help you?”

You open your eyes again, staring at him. You just stare. Expression hardening because you can’t help it at this point. But Jungkook takes no offense. Instead he tries to smile for you and he takes a seat right next to you, his leg pushed against yours.

“What is it that you need?” His fingers go to your chin, barely touching it as he guides your face to tilt in his direction. “Tell me what you need.” He softly demands, eyes boring into yours and you feel trapped in his trance again.

“You.” You reveal without meaning to. You never intended for that to be your answer. But your mouth forced the word out and you’re left here wondering why that felt so natural. 

Natural for both of you.

Because Jungkook nods in understanding, his fingers brushing against your cheek now and you decide now is the time to crumble. Crumble because his touch. And crumble because you are best friends so answering that the thing you need is him could also still be platonic. You release a long, tired breath before your head falls to his shoulder. “I’m stressed.” You decide to admit.

“I know.” His other arm comes around your back, hand gripping your side. “I’m sorry this is so hard for you. I really don’t know what to do anymore.” He is the one with admissions now. “I see how hard this is for you and I don’t know what’s better or what’s worse…but these are still doctor’s orders, y/n. You—”

“—I know.” You squeeze your eyes shut, “But what if my memories never return? Am I just going to be a stranger to my own life forever? Your life forever?”

Silence fills the space between you both. 

Maybe it’s not something either of you want to have answers to. 

“I never want to be a stranger to you.” He finally responds, “But let’s give some things some time.”

You sigh out, lifting your head from his shoulder before you look up at him. “Can you promise me something?”

Jungkook gives you a determined nod before speaking, “I can promise you anything.”

“Do you promise this is the best for me? Me not knowing so much?” Your eyes are pleading and you swear you see Jungkook’s heart in his eyes and you see how it breaks into pieces.

“I promise you that this is best for you.” He tells you, no regret anywhere heard in his words. Truth. “So promise me…that you’ll always trust me.”

“Okay.”

“No,” He shakes his head, troubled smile on his face. “Say it.”

“I promise.” You tell him but his troubled smile only grows as his eyes turn somber.

“You will probably break that promise later.” He whispers, “I—”

His phone starts vibrating in his pocket. Another phone call. “Sorry,” He slides the device out and you see Jimin’s name. “I got to go.” He sighs, standing from the sofa now. “But I’ll come over after and we’ll do something fun, okay?”

You nod, “Okay. Umm,”

“What is it?” He asks you.

“Nothing, nothing.” You try to shake his last words out of your head. Why would he say that? “Be safe and come back to me later.”

Jungkook’s eyes expand at your words before he cracks a smile. “I always do.”

~

You fixed yourself something light and easy for dinner. Surprisingly, you had an appetite to eat. You could probably thank the four hour nap you took earlier and the two different sessions you had in your bed where your fingers met the sensitive parts of your body, having yourself come undone and although you feel like some tension has been released…it wasn’t totally satisfying. 

You’ll blame the dream that you can’t even remember for the ache between your legs that still lingers.

You’re sitting at the dining room table, plate growing emptier as you take one last bite of your late dinner. It’s around 8:30pm and Jungkook still isn’t back. You assume he’s off doing something with Jimin. His ex-work partner that you realize he isn’t necessarily fond of. But they’re clearly working together on something…despite the fact that Jungkook isn’t a detective anymore.

Of course this piques your interest. You’re dying of curiosity. You have an idea…but…

You sigh out, pushing the chair back and ignoring the way the wood screeches against your tiled kitchen floors. Once standing, you grab your plate and the glass of water and head towards the kitchen sink to run the hot water.

A couple minutes pass, your hand lazily squeezing the sponge as you scrub the plate clean, your eyes zoned out and focusing on nothing at all. You continue to scrub the plate in soapy circles before you suddenly see something in your head. Eyes narrowing at nothing now as you try to focus on the image that your brain has randomly come up with. The same lake and boats from your dream. You’re just recalling an old dream. You scoff to yourself, you wish you could remember your sex dream.

You laugh a little before it dies on your lips when you see another image that makes no sense. 

A boat, floating at the dock. It isn’t the same boat from your dream…a different—

You drop the plate to the sink when your ears ring in someone’s scream. 

What the fuck?

You look around quickly, but you’re met with silence. You wipe your hands on the towel that rests next to the sink, quickly drying them before rushing out of your kitchen and going to your front door.

You know you heard someone scream.

You swing the door open, stepping outside, your head whipping in every direction.

But the neighborhood looks unbothered, the stars in the sky look unbothered, the blades of grass look unbothered. You see a few houses down, an older couple sitting on their porch, quietly talking and laughing to themselves. Completely unbothered.

Someone screamed, right? You heard it, right? 

You remain outside for a few more moments but the night carries on like nothing happened.

You didn’t imagine the scream, right? You know you heard it. You were standing at your kitchen sink, washing dishes, remembering a dream about boats on the lake water…when someone screamed. That wasn’t part of your dream, right? But it sounded so real. 

Giving up, you decide to go back inside your house. But a strange, eerie feeling sticks to your skin and you want nothing more than to wash it off. A shower it is. Maybe Jungkook will be back by the time you’re done and you can forget about all the things your brain is forcing onto you—things that don’t make any sense at all.

It’s around 9:30pm now when you leave your bedroom, feet taking you into the living room so you can relax on your amazing sofa…you’re shocked now that you hated it at first glance. It’s definitely the best couch you’ve ever had the pleasure of owning. A dull pain resides on the other side of your skull, pushing against your forehead in rage. You wish the headaches would start to ease but it seems lately, they’ve only gotten worse.

You decide to go to the kitchen first and take your night dose of medications, realizing it’s time you can take them. Hopefully it’ll help. It’s been a long day and you can’t wait to totally unwind and grow invested in some TV show so you don’t have to think about your own life. And you can’t wait for Jungkook to get home so he can do that with you. He looks stressed too and he probably also needs to focus on some fictional problems instead of his own.

Once you’re cozy on your sofa, wrapped in the blanket Jungkook always uses, you check your phone for any messages and you feel yourself grow a little warmer when you do have one.

Jungkook 9:38pm

Hey I’m on my way to your house 👍🏼 Want me to bring you anything?

You smile, typing your reply.

y/n 9:44pm

no no just you🐸

You click your phone off and shake your head, laughing at yourself. All it takes for you to feel better is Jungkook. You’re so whipped, probably. 

It only takes Jungkook 24 minutes exactly to walk in through your door since his text. Not that you were paying attention to the time but of course you were. You missed him.

“You’re not sleepy yet?” Jungkook is bent over, looking at you through the fringe that falls over his eyes as he takes his shoes off. “I figured you’d be knocked out on the couch by the time I got here and then oh no, I’d have to sleep in the bed.” He jokes, making his way over to you.

“I took a long nap.” You say, eyes on the TV. “So I’m not very sleepy now.”

Jungkook’s lips curve into a soft smile, “Did the nap help make you feel a little better?”

You finally glance at him, “Yeah. Also,” You nod towards the hallway, “You can sleep in a bed. You just choose not to.”

Jungkook’s smile fades, his eyes following yours, a solemn expression falling onto his face when he looks over to the hallway. “No, that’s okay.” He murmurs. “I like the couch.” And then he takes a seat right next to you.

“Does that mean you’re sleeping over again tonight?” 

He blinks at you for a few seconds before he’s smiling sheepishly. “Sorry, I didn’t even think about that.”

You laugh, “I’d rather you be here, anyway. Your apartment is too far for my liking. Doesn’t feel like we’re neighbors enough.” 

Jungkook’s eyes are so soft on you. You hate it. You love it. You want more of it. You want less of it. 

“It feels a little colder out tonight.” He says, fingers tugging at the blanket that’s wrapped around you. “Mind sharing?”

You chuckle, unwrapping the blanket from yourself to share with your best friend. “Do you remember when we rented that cabin in college but you and I wanted the outdoors experience so we built a tent like 10 feet away from the cabin?” 

“You only packed one sleeping bag.” He deadpans. 

“You could have gone inside and got blankets if you really cared that much!” You throw back and he shakes his head in an instant.

“Then it wouldn’t have been the total outdoorsy camping experience!” He retorts, “It would have defeated the whole point of us building that tiny tent. That you claimed you knew how to build because of a YouTube tutorial.”

“And I swear I did! But we had no service! So I couldn’t look at the video…” You pout but Jungkook starts laughing.

“And then we had to actually read the instructions. Imagine that.” He rolls his eyes, playful smirk on his lips. “Well, I did. You wanted to give up.”

“Anyway,” You nudge his shoulder with yours, both of you completely covered in this blanket now. “This reminds me of that time.”

“Because we shared the sleeping bag?” He asks you innocently. 

You nod, “Yeah. I thought we were going to freeze to death at night but I learned really quickly how freaking hot your body is.”

“Oh, thank you.” He teases.

You snort, “Not what I meant.”

“It’s not like you don’t think that too, though.” He says, eyes on the TV screen now. 

You whip your head to look at him, his eyes totally avoiding yours as he watches whatever you have pulled up on Netflix. He’s got such a teasing grin splitting his face in half. You stare at him in disbelief before you start laughing, “Wow. Is that something I told you and I have zero memory of it? And don’t lie, once I get all my memories back, I’ll know.” 

“You might be surprised at what stuff you might remember.” He continues to tease you and it feels…strange yet familiar. More of your suspicions seem to be checking out. 

“Is that so?” You decide to play along, “What kinds of things will I remember? You know, that are in relation to you thinking you have a hot body?”

“I never said it’s what I thought.” He bites down onto his bottom lip, another smirk being poorly concealed. 

You scoff, heat creeping up the back of your neck. “It’s not what I think either.”

“Mhm.” He finally looks at you, “You sure?” 

No, you aren’t sure. Well, you are sure that he’s hot. Yes, of course. But you aren’t sure what is going on here. More confusion wraps around you both just like this blanket. This doesn’t feel how you always remembered. No, this feels different. But it feels familiar. Like it isn’t totally brand new but it is. For you. But you’re wondering if this is brand new to him.

Yes, you have your suspicions. And little by little, you will uncover the truth. But for now, you’re not going to jump the gun. No conclusions yet.

“Hey,” You finally look away from him, eyes going back to the TV as well. “Are you sure we never went to another lake?”

“Lake?” Jungkook’s attention is mostly on the show now. “What lake?”

“No…I mean, was the only time we ever went to a lake was during that trip to the cabin?”

“Yes?” He finally glances at you, confusion in his eyes. “Why?”

You shrug, “I don’t know. I feel like I was remembering that dream I told you about where I saw your tattoo. That same lake…the boats.” 

“It was a dream, right?”

You think about it for a moment, eyes losing focus. “Yeah, you’re right.” But you aren’t so sure. 

“I told my parents and your parents that we would visit not next weekend but the weekend after. They’re very excited.” Jungkook changes the subject, his tone lighthearted. “It’ll be so nice to be in Busan for the weekend.”

“I agree.” You say, your eyes widening when you remember something your mom told you. “Did you know Mrs. Jung remarried? Apparently to a guy half her age!” 

Jungkook starts laughing, eyes crinkling in the process. “Yes and did you hear the best part?” He asks, eyes on you. “Apparently the guy she married has the same last name as her ex-husband so she didn’t even have to change it.” 

“Wow, lucky her.” You chuckle, “I don’t remember my mom saying that part.” 

“It’s hilarious. I thought the guy was her son when I first saw them walking out of her house! But imagine my shock when he kissed her. On the lips. I still didn’t register it wasn’t her son so you can probably guess my confusion and level of disturbance.” Jungkook shudders when he recalls the memory. “Mrs. Jung is loaded though, so I guess he’s the lucky one.”

“Jungkook!” You slap his thigh, “Money isn’t everything! Maybe he’s deeply in love with her!”

“I never said he wasn’t! I’m just saying, he got lucky. Sugar mama and all that.” He snickers when you gape at him. “What? I’d love having a woman pay for all my shit.”

“You’re a gold digger now?” You cock a brow at him. “I’ll have to keep that in mind when I’m being your wing woman at bars again.”

“You’re the worst wing woman.” He rolls his eyes, “Every girl that would get interested in me, you’d scare them away.”

“I did not!” 

“Yeah, you would.” 

“No.”

“Really?” He leans away from you, eyes narrowed as he smirks. “You don’t remember when a very pretty girl tried hitting it off with me but you totally ruined it when you—”

“—I thought she was bothering you. Don’t get me started on this again. She had so many red flags, you cannot be serious. I was helping you out.”

“I didn’t care about her red flags! I was just looking to get laid.” 

“I thought you didn’t hook up with anyone you weren’t seriously interested in?” 

Jungkook’s eyes widen and he starts talking nonsense, clearly getting playfully defensive. “Do I need to remind you why I was out in the first place?” He challenges you. “Because if I remember correctly, you told me I should go out and find someone! You told me I needed to get laid because I was annoying you with how stressed I was with my training after the academy. It was during my first year in the investigation department.”

“Oh yeah, you were kind of unbearable.” You snort, “But come on, she was such bad news. And don’t make me remind you of Haesoo. I had every right to feel protective over you!”

“Oh god, Haesoo…” He cringes in his spot, “Okay, she was something else.”

“She was the worst.” You say with a straight face. “I’m your best friend and she openly admitted to me ‘girl to girl’” You mock with the roll of your eyes, “That she was using you for sex. I had to tell her that you’re a person. But she said, ‘he’s hot, all men are trash so I’m not hurting anyone’ I was so fucking pissed.”

“Yes, yes. I remember.” Jungkook smiles at you fondly. “My hero.”

“I am your hero, you’re goddamn right! You didn’t see through her evil ways but I did. I wanted to put her in a headlock.”

“Somehow I’d love to see that.” He grins teasingly at you. “It’s not like I was serious about her.”

“You totally liked her.”

“Okay fine, but only because she did witchcraft on me or something.”

“I’ll accept that answer because I think it’s true.” You say, “But honestly, you got better at standing up for yourself. Haesoo was during your time at the academy, right? You were what? 21? 22?”

“Yeah.”

“You were still pretty shy back then but I think sometime after you graduated and you started your first 6 months at the police station—before you did your one year in the investigation department—you kind of…grew up a lot. Stronger, I guess. Not as scared of confrontation.”

“Well,” Jungkook leans back into the sofa, “I guess in my years of being your friend, I finally learned something.” He chuckles.

“Thank god for that, huh?” You lean back onto the sofa as well, your body shifting to properly face him. “Who’s the worst guy I ever dated?”

“Hmm,” Jungkook looks up at the ceiling, thinking about it. “Dusik for sure.”

“What?! He was so nice!”

“I didn’t like him.”

“You never told me you didn’t like him!”

“Yes I did!”

“When—”

“—Oh.” Jungkook bites down onto his lip, “I guess I never admitted it until way later. You don’t remember…”

“Give me a reason.”

“I just didn’t like him.”

“Why?”

“Because I didn’t.”

“Why?”

“Seriously? You sound like a talking bird that only knows one word.”

“Why?”

He raises a brow at you, showing you he’s not enthused. “Stop.”

“Why?”

“Because he was probably the closest thing you had to a real relationship.” Jungkook purses his lips, eyes going to his hands. “And I just didn’t think he was good enough for you.”

Your mouth falls open, “Seriously?” 

“Seriously.” He responds childishly. 

“You didn’t approve of him because…you just sound jealous.” You snort, not taking this too seriously but Jungkook isn’t laughing.

“I was jealous of him.” He admits before the panic settles in his eyes. “Not in a weird way. I just hated that he was stealing you from me.”

“He didn’t steal—”

“—According to you, this was our biggest fight.” He reminds you, “You forgot about plans with me three times because you were with him. I wouldn’t have minded as much if you would have properly canceled. But apparently I was forgettable to you.” He sulks in his spot, an adorable pout on his lips but you can see that he’s still a little bitter about the whole thing.

“I know. I’m sorry. But hey, you got your revenge! You didn’t talk to me for four days. I hated those four days so much.”

“I hated it too.” He finally smiles, “At the time, those four days were like, the worst days ever. I wish I could go back. To when that was the worst thing.” He mumbles softly, smile still barely on his lips. 

“Hey,” You lean into him, eyes on his as you poke his cheek with your finger. “You also know you’re not forgettable to me, right? I literally have amnesia and my brain is still full of you.” 

Jungkook’s smile drops from his lips, eyes on yours with much more intensity as he processes your words. 

You are about to back away from him, a sudden tension growing between your bodies but before you can, Jungkook’s fingers go to your hand, you’re both twisted in one another’s directions. He’s so close. You’re so close. Your gaze drops to his lips when his tongue pokes out to lick them. The heat basically rolls off his skin and warms you up, reminding you of the night you two spent in that tiny tent—not that anything happened…it’s just the warmth, the close proximity. Not to mention, it might have been the first time you had not so innocent thoughts about your best friend.

His fingers leave your hand and you gulp, feeling the sudden absence of his touch but it doesn’t last long…not when his hand rests on the side of your face, fingers behind your ear, thumb brushing your cheek.

“Your brain isn’t full enough of me.” He whispers, eyes still boring into you and once again, you want to crumble. Crumble for a million reasons and right now, you can’t even name one.

“I don’t know if that’s even possible.” The words dribble out slowly. The tension growing, a force that pulls your bodies closer.

You stare up at him, both of your hands sliding up his chest and you feel his heart hammering against it. It’s strong. It’s loud. It’s alive. 

Jungkook is lost. You’re lost. A trance being shared between you both and you know for a fucking fact that this isn’t new to either of you. You have no proof but this moment might be evidence alone. This cannot be the first time you two share a moment like this. You refuse to believe this is a first. 

“Jung—”

“—Did you want to watch something like a movie?” Jungkook’s hand drops from your face, his cheeks flushing as he leans away from you, eyes going back to the TV. 

You feel like someone ripped a rug from beneath your feet. You stare at his side profile, body gone still as you process what just happened. And what is currently happening. 

You laugh internally again. Your hands coming back to your own body and you face the TV as well. “Yeah, a movie sounds good.” 

It seems your brain is playing tricks on you lately. Making you see things. Hear things.

But you cannot be imagining this. No, your brain can’t make you imagine a feeling, can it? 

Your gut is telling you one thing and you’ve always been one to listen to it.

~

Jungkook snuck out early this morning, leaving you a note that said he has some things to take care of but he would be back around dinner time.

You won’t feel annoyed, not today. You’re tired of questioning every little thing and today you just want to not think about all the things you don’t know. Today you just want to be lazy and binge watch an entire series or something. Today you just want to be a normal person. A person who doesn’t have amnesia. 

You made a sandwich for lunch and ate while watching a show. You’re already on episode 5 of Strong Woman Do Bong Soon and you realizing love is real, it has to be, because these two main characters are making you swoon. 

You make dinner as well, eating while continuing the show. You’re not even ashamed to admit you’re on episode 8 now. Meaning, you’ve watched eight hours of this show just today. You check your phone to see the time.

7:02pm

Jungkook still isn’t back and he hasn’t texted. You know you shouldn’t feel worried or anything. But you’re going to call him anyway.

Your heart feels calmer when he answers on the third ring.

“Hey,” You say into the phone. “I was just checking if you were uh, still coming over today.”

“Yeah.” You hear the smile in his voice. “I just came by my place real quick to shower. I’m about to head over though. Sorry, um, my plans ran a little longer than I thought. I should have let you know…”

“No, no, it’s okay.” You say, relief evident in your voice. “Sleep here tonight, too.”

“Okay.” He tells you softly, “I’ll see you in a few minutes.”

“Kay, bye.” You hang up the phone, already feeling lighter knowing he’s only five minutes away.

Just like magical clockwork, your front door opens and Jungkook is walking through. He grins at you, slipping his shoes off as he empties his pockets of his things. Wallet, phone and keys being placed on the little table by your entrance.

“Hi.” You sing out, patting the spot next to you on the couch. “I started a show today and I love it!”

“What show?” He asks, walking into the living room, eyes on the TV. “Oh! Strong girl! Yeah, this is your comfort show.” He tells you, plopping down right next to you. “We love it.”

Your mouth falls open in surprise, “I’ve seen it before?!”

Jungkook chuckles, “Yeah. You watch it every year.”

“Oh damn.” You nod to yourself, “I guess I really do love it.”

“Mmmmmm…” Jungkook leans back into the couch, eyes closing. “I’m so tired.”

“You do look a little tired.” You admit, fingers ruffling through his hair and he sighs in contentment.

“I almost fell asleep in the shower.” 

“Don’t tell me you’re already ready for bed? It’s barely 7!”

“Not bed…but what if I take a one hour power nap?” He cracks open one eye to look at you, “Super quick nap that gets me ready for a night full of binge watching the rest of this show?”

“Hmm,” You pull your fingers away from his hair. “Just one hour?”

“Just one hour.” He nods in excitement, “I promise I’ll wake up and hang out with you for the whole night.”

“Okay, deal.” You say, “Only because you do look pretty exhausted”

“You got no idea.” He tells you, “It was…a really long day.”

But he doesn’t elaborate. But you do have an idea what it could be about…

“Can I ask you something?” You blurt, your brain wired to demand answers. 

“Hm?” He sits up from leaning back, eyes focused on you.

“You were with Jimin, right?” You ask him, the words leave your mouth slowly as you gauge his reaction.

“Yeah.” He tells you and you know he’s being honest. But you aren’t done asking questions.

“And…” Your stomach feels uneasy from nerves but you continue, “Is it because…are you trying to…um, trying to figure out who caused my accident? Since it was a hit and run?” 

Jungkook tilts his head, eyes becoming unreadable. 

You reckon it’s a solid assumption. He was a detective after all.

Jungkook’s hand goes to his jaw, eyes going to the ceiling like he’s trying to figure out his answer when slowly you watch as his fingers slide down from his chin to his throat, fingers caressing the skin before he’s softly tugging at his neck and he finally answers, “Yeah.”

“Oh, okay. I figured.” You reply, eyes still on his fingers. “I kind of guessed that’s what you were up to.” 

He drops his hand and offers a timid smile, “Mhm.” 

Your insides are twisting.

“Well, I’ll let you sleep for an hour!” You stand from the sofa, “You better wake up when I tell you to, Jungkook.” You smile now, “I’ll be in the kitchen, think I’m going to make something.”

“Ah, okay.” Jungkook puts his feet up before laying back on the couch, blanket draped over him. “Can you turn the light off too?”

“Yup.” You walk towards the wall and switch the light off. Light from the kitchen still on and you start going towards it. “Have a nice nap.” You say before disappearing into the kitchen, only Jungkook’s distant hum in the background can be heard.

You take a seat on the uncomfortable bar stool and only one thought echoes in your mind.

He lied.

You sit here for like 30 minutes, trying to make sense of his lie. Why would he lie? But if he’s not doing that? Then what is he doing? What exactly has he been getting up to? You know he really was with Jimin. All the phone calls, the texts, the ‘going to take care of some things’. But if it’s not about your accident…then what is it about?

You sigh, feeling defeated because you can’t come up with a logical explanation. 

You don’t want to feel upset about the lie because he asked you to trust him so you will. And he does look utterly exhausted. You feel sorry for him…the state his apartment is in, losing his job, clearly working on something with Jimin. He’s tired. Not to mention, he takes care of you. 

And you want to do something for him. Something that will—that’s right. He did mention something…

You stand from the bar stool, excitement and nerves running through your veins as you rummage through the kitchen. You check every single drawer, cabinet, closet. You even looked in the fridge—desperate times, desperate measures. But nothing. No recipe books anywhere! You quietly go into the living room and search as well, eyes glancing at your knocked out best friend every now and then. Thank goodness he is a heavy sleeper. His snores are honestly louder than your rummaging, though.

There’s no way you don’t own any recipe books…you even remember the ones you had in college. You remember owning some as a 24 year old. So where are they? Jungkook said you got great at baking and he seemed to enjoy your homemade cookies—whichever ones they are. But there is no book around or papers or anything with a recipe on it!

But then a thought hits you. He didn’t…no, why would he? But maybe? You instantly remember the attic. How Jungkook put a bunch of stuff in there to not accidentally overwhelm you with a million things. It’s possible…? It wouldn’t hurt to look, right? You swear you’ll be careful. Eyes looking for recipe books and that’s it!

Alright, you made up your mind. You glance at sleeping, snoring Jungkook again. There’s no way he would wake up anytime soon…he’s completely passed out on your sofa due to exhaustion. You look towards the table by your front door, eyes on his things. His wallet, phone and of course, his keys.

You tip toe over to the entrance, one last glance at Jungkook before swiping the keys off the table. The jingle louder than you anticipated, head snapping in his direction but he only snores louder. You release a breath in relief. You look towards the hallway, a determined look on your face as you walk over there. 

But a look of annoyance quickly falls over your face. Right, it’s an attic. It’s locked. And it’s you know, on the freaking ceiling. You huff out quietly, trying to think of what you can do. Right…there’s a ladder in the guest bedroom closet. But you’re hoping you can do all of this quietly. 

You stuff the keys into your pocket and go inside the bedroom, quickly going into the mostly empty closet when you find the 6ft ladder leaning against the closet wall. You pick it up, thankfully it isn’t very heavy at all and bring it out into the hall, right below the attic door.

You listen for Jungkook’s snores and when you hear them you sigh out. Good. He’s still in deep sleep. You set the ladder up, climbing it quietly, stopping every few seconds to make sure you still hear Jungkook’s snores. Once near the top, you reach for the keys in your pocket. Feeling slightly uneasy being this high up. 

You try to steady yourself, fingers searching for the right key but you have no idea which one it could be. So you begin trying them one by one. Nope, not this one. Nope, not that one. You fiddle through the keys when you spot a small gold one and you decide to try it. You try to get it through the key hole when your shaky fingers fumble the keys and they fucking drop. You feel like you’re losing your balance, heart sinking to the bottom of your stomach. They landed on the metal step right next to your foot. Fucking lucky they didn’t fall to the ground. But damn, it was loud.

You try to calm your breathing.

Your ears paying close attention to every sound around you and a huge lump forms in your throat when you don’t hear the consistent sounds of Jungkook’s snores. 

You’re frozen in your spot. Skin feeling cold but sweaty. Like you’re doing something you’re not supposed to.

After what feels like an eternity your entire body fucking relaxes when Jungkook starts snoring again.

You swear you could laugh and cry at the relief you’re feeling. 

You carefully step down to easily grab the keys again before stepping back up. Your fingers are still shaky but you manage to find that small gold key again and you try to fit it through the keyhole. You try turning it and bam. The door unlocks. 

You wish you could scream in celebration but you remain quiet. 

It’s unlocked.

Feeling giddy, you quickly step down from the ladder and move it to the side. You reach for the long string and pull hard, the door coming down and a wooden staircase follows. You’ve done it. You’ve opened the attic and now you can do as you promised, you can find the recipe books and get the hell out of there before Jungkook even knows you went in.

You take a hesitant first step, glancing once more behind you, his snores soft and consistent before you finally climb the steps and go inside.

It’s dark, dusty and maybe a bit creepy. You reach for your phone, turning on the flashlight as you look around. You find the light switch, turning it on and suddenly the entire attic is glowing in a soft yellow. 

Boxes everywhere. You don’t even know where to begin looking. But the nearest boxes are probably the most promising, right? Your fingers slide over the top of one of the brown boxes before you decide to pry it open. But you aren’t really sure what you’re seeing. A bunch of books, loose papers and random notes. It’s your handwriting. But you don’t know what anything means. So you ignore this box.

You open the next box but there isn’t anything but old clothes in that one.

Next box is a bunch of notebooks.

You groan in frustration, okay maybe this pile wasn’t as promising as you thought so you decide to move on to the other side of the attic. A few boxes that are less dusty than the rest. Okay, maybe this is more promising.

You open the first box you see, fingers lifting each flap open and when your eyes land on the thing lying on the top, your jaw immediately drops. Your heart is thumping more wildly than you’ve ever known, chest tight and stomach dropping completely where all the butterflies reside. You stare at what you’re seeing. In shock? Disbelief? Your hands are still just as shaky as you reach for the thing that rests at the top of this particular box. 

Fingers wrapping around the frame, eyes blinking rapidly as you try to make sense of what you’re seeing. 

Well, you had your suspicions. But not this far. You thought you and Jungkook perhaps maybe hooked up before during these past nine years, or that you did confess to him at some point or you don’t know, but not this. 

You aren’t sure if it’s shock, disbelief or your own selfish happiness. 

You lift the frame up, a smile growing viscously on your lips. “Well, holy shit.” You mutter to yourself. “No fucking way.”

You stare at the framed photo. You and Jungkook, together, in a wedding gown and tux. The year 2016 engraved at the bottom. 

Jungkook isn’t just your best friend.

No, he is also your husband.

~

Next

#bts #jeon jungkook #jungkook smut #bts smut #jungkook fluff #bts fluff #jungkook angst #bts angst #jungkook x reader #jungkook x you #bts fanfic #jungkook fics #Kim namjoon #Kim seokjin #seokjin smut #min yoongi #jung hoseok #park jimin #Kim taehyung #our time chapter 3

[becca-e-barnes]

Sub Bucky and a breeding kink 💀 dead unlived it's one of my favourite things 😌

This is pretty high up there on my list of dream fantasies 🥵 these are two of my biggest weaknesses, don't even look at me rn

One of life's greatest joys is cuddling with the other person's head resting on your chest so you can play with their hair and rub their shoulders. I love that shit, having someone else's body weight on you is so comforting.

I imagine that's something Bucky would really enjoy too. It's so soft and sweet and tender and getting to feel cared for would really appeal to him.

But that's up until his hands work their way under your top, up over your bare skin so he's able to cup your breasts and bury his face between them while he's getting his hair played with. Life's pleasures don't get much simpler than that.

After a few moments he shifts slightly, tugging the neckline of your shirt out of the way to give himself space to kiss and nip your skin. All of a sudden he's desperate and it's beautiful to watch.

"Please." He whispers between frantic kisses, flicking his tongue over the stiff peak of your nipple before engulfing it with his warm, eager mouth.

"Please, what?" You tease, tugging on his hair just a little for emphasis.

He groans, frustrated by his own lack of coherence, pulling his mouth from your nipple. "Please let me put a baby in you."

That's not what you were expecting but fuck, he makes it sound pretty appealing.

"Bucky-" You begin but he cuts you off, giving your other nipple the same attention as he gave the first. God, that's distracting.

"You'd make. Such. A pretty. Mommy." He whispers, kissing his way down your body until he reaches the bottom seam of your top. From there, he pulls it off, letting it fall to the floor before removing the rest of your clothes.

"You'd look so pretty with a little baby bump." His huge hand rests on your bare tummy, imaging how your body would change.

"I want it, Buck." You mean it too. It doesn't sound like such a bad idea when he's taking his clothes off.

"I know you want it." He groans, rubbing the tip of his dick against your soaked core. "Y-you're so wet."

He presses his hips forward, sliding inside you and you can't explain it but you swear it feels different this time.

"Don't even think about pulling out." You cup his face in your hands, keeping his eyes on you and you almost worry he's going to fuck himself senseless into you. "I want you to make me a mommy. You're going to give me every single drop of cum and when it starts to drip out of me, you're going to fuck it back in."

His head falls onto your shoulder, sobbing a pathetic moan against your already hot skin. The pace of his thrusts matches his need, his hips slamming into yours and when he finally gives in, he cums inside you with your legs clamped around his waist, making sure he couldn't pull out even if he wanted to.

#asks answered <3 #becca writes spice #anon #sub!bucky #subby bucky #this is one of those fantasies that's nice in my head #I think I'd like to be at that point in my life but it's absolutely not where I'm at rn #maybe some day tho #I started writing a new series yesterday #making a lil moodboard #excited to post the concept #can't decide if I want each chapter to feel like a continuation of the one before #or if I want the chapters to be more detached from each other with time passing in between #might actually space it out over a weekend? #I took my lil granny out for lunch today and she's just the cutest #she usually comes up to ours for Sunday lunch but my parents were out this weekend #so I made her dinner last night and took it down to her and I asked if she wanted to go out for Sunday lunch for a change #she made me book the table right there in front of her so she'd be able to look forward to it 🥺 #I sat with her for over an hour yesterday evening and she smiled nearly the whole time #she's too cute I swear

[lunarharp]

i wanted to put these four together chatting, cooking, dancing, and trust

#witch hat tag #orufrey #sorry for repost of 3 of these images the 4th is new. #based on kitchen chapter 10 and all the emotions that a COOKING SPINOFF gives me. it looks uh. weird. to me. now #but i understand what i mean. always. i like that art can be a way of capturing that for you (and writing) #secrets and food and the one dance we've danced our whole lives and The mountain apple - your heart - the trust i have for you #“If you're the one saying it then it must be true” no offence but yet again official translation chose something paltry compared to that #What if i would die first before i would poison you but what if your trust in me is killing us #What if you're the one who should be trusted wholeheartedly yet still I'm the one who holds back? Who does not take the apple? #What if this is SO evocative of yet so different to the cantarella scene in utena and cai loses their marbles for real this time #drawing wine drops from the apples makes it look like the snow white apple. i cant take it #a week (or 4 days) of randomly trying to be more intuitive with composition or..idk. this weird sloopy brush is good for that. Sloopy i say

[purpletrashsnake]

Throws these here without context

#poppy playtime chapter 3 #poppy playtime #poppy playtime deep sleep #a little something...... #dogday #catnap #another possible au on our hands! #but this time I'm not the creator. I am a part of it :) #so proud of these designs fr fr #please lookie

[maddymoreau]

My Thoughts on Poppy Playtime Chapter 3

Ollie is ADORABLE!!!! "No ouchies or lost body parts?" HE'S A BABY I NEED TO PROTECT!!!!!! AHHHHHH!!!!!! (¬‿¬) I have ZERO evidence for this but my theory is he’s The Prototype.

I’m REALLY happy to see the phone Ollie calls the player on is identical to the one in Project: Playtime! It’s nice seeing stuff introduced in Project: Playtime finally appear in the main series.

( ⚆_⚆ ) ESPECIALLY DR. HARLEY SAWYER!!!! WOW THE TAPE FEATURING HIM TALKING TO THE PROTOTYPE WAS DARK!!!! I knew a man like Dr. Sawyer would be a sick and twisted individual since he created the Bigger Bodies Initiative.

Despite that I was NOT prepared to hear the joy in his voice to experiment on children. It was revolting.

This exchange:

Prototype: "You stick us. Beat us. Tear at flesh. Do you feel it?"

Dr. Sawyer: "There is a secret inside you, 1006. Valuable beyond all measure. I cut and prod and burn at it, and I get closer with each session . . . So speak, or don't. Fight, or give in. Regardless, I learn something new about you every day . . . (Laughs) It excites me!"

Prototype: "Thank you."

Dr. Sawyer: "You . . . thank me?"

Prototype: "Absolutely. I learn something new about you every day."

THAT FINAL LINE WHEN THE PROTOTYPE IS MIMICKING DR. SAWYER'S VOICE AHHHHHH!!!!

＿|￣|○ I WANNA KNOW WHAT HAPPENED TO DR. SAWYER SO BADDDDD!!!!!! He wasn’t around for The Hour of Joy but I hope he suffered.

Leith Pierre: "Normally I'd have Dr. Sawyer do this but he's uhhh . . . out, let's say. So you got me until they find his replacement."

(o ´ _ ` )o The contrast between how Dr. Sawyer speaks to the experiments VS Leith Pierre the Head of Innovation at Playtime Co.

Both dehumanize the experiments in different ways.

Leith Pierre can’t even bother remembering Catnap's real name. He puts on this fake friendly facade. Referring to Catnap as his Pal and Buddy. It's so disingenuous.

Especially when he asks, "Heya Theo! How ya doin' bud?" Pierre could care less about how Catnap feels. It's only when Catnap responds, "The Prototype will save us." That gets Pierre to finally drops the corporate spiel. Admitting to what this place is. Catnap’s prison.

No wonder Catnap worshipped The Prototype after being save when this is what he’s told about his horrific situation.

Leith Pierre: "THIS is your life now. Get used to it."

I absolutely LOVED all the new features for the Grab Pack. The air jet looked SO FUN!!!! Watching people desperately shoot the flare gun against smiling critters in a cramped space WAS SO INTENSE!!! The smiling critter's small growls and whimpers made me sad.

(ʃƪ 〃’▽’〃)♡ The horror in this chapter was INCREDIBLE!!!! While I had fun playing Chapter 2 I remember feeling disappointed by the scares.

CHAPTER THREE HAD ME HORRIFIED!!!! EVERY JUMP SCARE HAD ME FLYING OUT MY CHAIR, THE ATMOSPHERE WAS AMAZING AND AHHHHH THE HOME ORPHANAGE SECTION!!!!!

It reminded me of PT ∑(; °_°) Especially with the radio informing us that in Elliot Ludwig's house it was discovered he HAD THE BODY OF A CHILD IN A DUFFLE BAG!!?!?!?!?!?!

ALSO THAT ONE RADIO'S REVERSE MESSAGE!!!

"8-8-1995 I find your presence intrusive. After all this time you return. You come in here and yet you kill and murder. You pilate and destroy. Your presence was demanded 10 years ago and yet you didn't show up . . . 8-8-1995 You were supposed to be here. Why weren't you here? You missed the event. You missed the meeting. You missed the party. You have no right to be here . . ."

AHHHHHH MOBGAMES KNEW WHAT THEY WERE DOING WITH THE LIGHTING IN THIS SCENE!!!!!

I thought I was going to see MY BOY 😭💔!!!!!!

Huggy Wuggy is completely fine.

Kissy Missy was so sad and adorable in this chapter. Seeing her stare at the picture and hug herself BROKE MY HEART ( o̴̶̷᷄ _ o̴̶̷̥᷅ )!!! She deserves the world.

Catnap acting like a child and avoiding school 😭💔

Miss Delight was a minor spoiler I knew about since people used her face in their thumbnail. However I was NOT prepared for her to act like a Coil-Head!!!!

Theodore being described as antisocial and having a peculiar relationship with an imaginary friend _(:ì」∠)_.

That “imaginary” friend being The Prototype. Who guided Theodore to help them both escape. Only for Theodore to get electrocuted since he was just a child who didn't know how to safely use a Grabpack.

The Prototype throwing away their chance to escape to save Theodore by bringing him to the staff. Showing The Prototype does care in some way.

Only for Theodore to be later turned Catnap.

THEN the player electrocutes Catnap the SAME way Theodore originally received his injuries. The Prototype comes to “save” Theodore once again but this time by making Catnap a part of him AND CATNAP ACCEPTS SO WILLINGLY (˃ ⌑ ˂ഃ )!!!!

It felt like I was watching a religious experience.

I love Poppy Playtime but I do think they show too much in their trailers. Dog day is a great example but even then his scene was *chef kiss*

All the smiling critters crawling inside Dogday as he desperately screamed in agony and for us to run away left me speechless.

I liked the detail of Dogday calling us angel. I'm excited to see all the AUs people create where we save him.

ALSO THE HOUR OF JOY WAS A BLAST TO WATCH!!!!!

I know Poppy is right that it was just senseless slaughter. How all that death didn't fix or help anyone. Especially when it didn't matter if those killed were innocent or not.

However imagining these characters being painfully experimented on and stripped of their autonomy. Going though years of hell and finally reaching their breaking point. It's hard to not feel good for them getting to release that anger. Even if I know it's wrong.

ALSO I GOT TO SEE MY SECOND FAVORITE CHARACTER BOXY BOO YAYYYYYYYYYY!!!!!!!!!!!

THERE WAS SOOOOO MUCH HUGGY WUGGY IMAGERY IN THIS CHAPTER AHHHHHHHH!!!!!!

I'M GOING TO OVER THINK IT!!!!!! I HAVE NO THEORIES I’M JUST POINTING DETAILS OUT!!!!!!

When hallucinating Huggy Wuggy's face is on the employee training video:

“Join the Innovationists, where the bounds of science are continuously pushed. Or join the Counselors of Playcare, whose diligence and care for our children will help shape a brighter future, just you see.”

“Now every one of you has your part in that future, so should you come back tomorrow feeling unhappy for where you are, or what you’ve done . . . worry not, for your supervisor is here and happy to listen! And . . . should you come back . . . years later . . . your conscience finally getting the better of you. May you descend into the dark and the dust, finding all that awaits you are incomprehensible horrors . . . each hungry for your return, each eager that they might find you. Perhaps they’d smile at you from a shadow, their smiling mouths full of teeth and meat and plastic, watching and waiting patiently for their turn at a warm welcome. Or perhaps they won’t allow you such a time to figure your place in the world you’d left. A world that’s theirs now. Welcome home.”

The video transforms into a manifestation of the player's guilt. Not only for their involvement for whatever they did while working at Playtime Co. but for being gone and returning after ten years.

This is also paired with the player's possible guilt for killing Huggy Wuggy and their fear of him.

The hallucination version being a more exaggerated version of the Chapter 1 Huggy Wuggy vent chase.

When Catnap causes the player to later hallucinate:

Poppy: “Do you even know what’s real?”

Poppy: “No you don’t.”

THEN AT THE END OF THE HALLUCINATION IT SHOWS US THE DAY OF JOY!!!! Which is very odd when you consider two things. We've been told multiple times we weren’t there and during this scene we didn't know what the Hour of Joy was.

So the player hallucinating being in front of Huggy Wuggy’s podium during The Hour of Joy with a large Prototype hand reaching for us IS ODD!!!

ALSO THE TAPE IT SHOWS THAT’S WHERE HUGGY WUGGY WAS DURING THE HOUR OF JOY!!!!!!!

WHAT DOES IT MEAN?!?!?!?!

This is just speculation but perhaps the player's memories aren't as trustworthy as we think. After all we still aren't even sure who even sent us the letter or tape in Chapter 1.

"EVERYONE THINKS THE STAFF DISSAPEARED 10 YEARS AGO WE'RE STILL HERE FIND THE FLOWER"

It’s important to point out the characters from Chapter 2 made ZERO appearance during these hallucinations. Mommy Long Legs, PJ Pug-a-Pillar, Bunzo Bunny and the Wack-a-Wuggy.

Is the Huggy Wuggy imagery used because he’s who we encounter at the start of the game?

OR SOMETHING MORE AHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!

#Something something something the first key we needed in game was held up by Huggy Wuggy while on his podium. #So is The Prototype in the hallucination symbolizing he's the key to answering all our questions or am I overthinking everything asdnsf;alk #Rambling about my Poppy Playtime Self Insert -> I haven't decided what but something happened to my self insert to cause her memory issues. #She remembers small details from her time working for Playtime Co. but not the experiments. #So throughout the Chapters she's slowly unraveling the mystery of not only Playtime Co. but herself. #Everything story wise plays out the identical in all the chapters except one thing. #At the end of Chapter One instead of the box falling onto Huggy Wuggy. My self insert doesn't pull the box down in time. #Just as Huggy Wuggy is about to kill her. He finally gets a good look at her face. #Which she had hidden in the beginning with a mask + hat and hoodie because of the cameras. #As she ran and descended further into the facility she discarded her disguise. #Once Huggy Wuggy realizes who she is he stops trying to kill her. #Since there's not enough lore about the player's backstory yet I haven't decided why. #However whatever reason or friendship or connection they had she can't remember. Whatever it was causes Huggy Wuggy to not kill her. #During Chapter 2 Huggy Wuggy follows besides her. Helping when he can. #He can't help during the tests however since Mommy Long Legs considers that cheating. Mommy even is confused WHY he's helping her. #At the end of Chapter 2 when listening to the tape about Huggy Wuggy being the optimal outcome. #My self insert feels guilty and worries the only reason he hasn't killed her is because of what they did to him. #However the goof reassures her in his own odd way (pat on the head or a hug) that's not the case. In Ch. 3 he's with Kissy Missy and Poppy. #When Kissy Missy attacks my self insert he defends her (no violence just shoving and growling) but Poppy and I dissolve the situation. #Since Huggy Wuggy can't be protected from the Red Gas I imagine he has to wait with Kissy Missy and Poppy. #As for what history Huggy Wuggy and my self insert have to make him not be violent towards her I haven't decided. #The hallucination nightmare imagery remains the same. Although she feels comfortable with Huggy Wuggy now there's no denying he scared her. #Combined with her slowly remember her involvement and the guilt consuming her. Wondering if subconsciously she always knew. #I'm excited to delve more into their friendship and past. Although aggressive Huggy Wuggy is extremely smart. #Using the vents and escaping the facility. He doesn't act like a lost puppy or anything. He has his own agency. #Despite his hunger and aggression whatever their history is it's important enough he wants to ensure her safety. #Poppy Playtime #MaddyMoreauPost

[immoralkombat]

i'm going to be so mentally ill about evil ninja mime and fire lord johnny cage now <3

#mk1 spoilers #mortal kombat 1 spoilers #johnny cage #mk1 #mortal kombat 1 #mk1 2023 #mortal kombat 1 2023 #ninja mime #FIRE LORD JOHNNY IS REAL! shame he's evil but ah well. pobody's nerfect <3 #i am so fuckingggggggggggggggggg #i rly love the way that the writers merged both endings of mk11 but also. not a fan of multiverses tbh #hopefully they don't screw the pooch on this one and make things a fuckstorm of infinite proportions #also johnny and kenshi are so totally banging. shame they didn't have the balls to show any kisses on-screen that weren't heterosexual :/ #like yeah liu kang and kitana are my favorite straight couple in these games but like. c'mon. where's the yaoi or the yuri? #must homosexuals be condoned to a life of tender shoulder touches and carries? #has not our keeper of time a heart that understands how deeply it beats and yearns for love and compassion... regardless from whom? #(i mean. he should. he and geras were probably slangin' dong on one another on the regs before the kangtana reunion tour) #i'm just saying if raiden were the keeper of time there would've been an entire chapter dedicated to yaoi and another to yuri #raiden threw the first brick at stonewall #can't believe i get to bring that fucking tag back. #anyway sorry for the big tag rant. overall i rly like mk1 and look forward to seeing what else happens <3 #but also i would've loved to have had more confirmation that johnny is actually Straight Up With another person besides the ex-wife #also side note love his ex-wife and her weird inconsistent accent #oh speaking of inconsistent acting megan fox sweetie i love you but i have the feeling you had no idea where you were for these recordings. #like miss thing sounded so confused that entire time #@ netherrealm if you want i could be a kombat pack nitara voice replacement. i'm no megan fox but i am transgender and also homosexual <3 #wait nvm i just realized that'd be crossing the picket line. stand with SAG-AFTRA and the WGA besties #anyway. yeah. mk1 (2023) was p good and i'm excited to see what they're gonna do with this new set of events and the new chara alignments #they really did babygirlify shang tsung and quan chi huh #not sure how to feel about that

[ahhhsami]

Comments, man...

I don't complain much, but I gotta get this off my chest. If a fic you like hasn't updated and you're hoping for a new chapter, DO NOT go to the writer's other stories and ask for an update or status of a different fic.

Guess what, on AO3 all comments go to the same inbox. So comment on the fic that you're hoping to update. And even then, don't say "Hey is this abandoned?" "Update?" "When are you going to update?" etc. Be encouraging, say what you like about the story and that you're excited for the next chapter no matter how long it may take. Wish the writer well. Generally be nice about it. Put yourself in the writer's shoes and think about what you may want as a comment if you were working on a story of your own. Even keep it simple to "Really loved this and can't wait for it to continue." It's that easy.

As much as I appreciate the enthusiasm and the love for a story, I seriously recommend keeping comments related to the fic you're commenting on. It's pretty off putting getting a comment on a fic that you worked hard on and seeing that it's completely unrelated and about a different ongoing fic you have.

PS: This may sound crazy, but just receiving a positive emoji ❤️ 🥰 or "loved this!" would be more encouraging than being asked over and over the status of ongoing fics.

PPS: Think of it this way. If you have a task you have to do, if someone kept asking you when you're going to get said thing done over and over and over. Does that motivate you to do it more? Or would it just be grating at a point? You know you're going to get it done in your own time, yet instead you're being pushed to do it. And say you do, would that task be done to it's full potential or would being forced to do it result in the end outcome not being as good? But say someone is cheering you on and uplifting you while you're doing the task. That's much more motivating, right? It's not a one to one, but it's something to keep in mind.

#rant #ao3 #archive of our own #i seriously appreciate the comments and love for a lot of my stories but it gets waring at times #fanfiction #got 4 comments in 3 days asking for updates/abandoned and it frustrated me. that is all #just feels like i'm being nagged honestly #I am working on multiple ongoing fics. I just don't post status updates on social media cause it's not needed. #Be patient and new chapters will come #personal

[perexcri]

happy one year to her and one of my better opening lines for a fic <3

now, because i'm curious:

#to hell and back again #i genuinely can't believe it's a year but i guess that's how time works huh :') #anyway umm gonna leave some retrospective thoughts in the tags: #1. i hold this fic near to my heart but also have a very complicated relationship with it now- #mostly bc i feel like my writing has improved so much and it's hard for me to reread parts of this lol #2. i honestly feel like it's a product of its time? like i think if i was publishing it now people wouldn't like it nearly as much #(especially with the opening line wHICH HAS A POINT AND COMES FULL CIRCLE AT THE END OK JUST TRUST ME) #3. on a sadder note this also means it's been a year since we had to put my family's eldest dog down #i remember i was gonna post this first chapter later when i had finished another fic up #but then our dog just like. straight up started dying on my mom's bedroom floor #and my mom was too distressed/upset to take her to the vet so i had to put her in my car and take her on my own #and then had to go to work right after that #so yeah i was upset and was like 'well dammit im gonna post this then bc it's silly and makes me laugh and i am sad' #so yeah!! some thoughts and behind the scenes info for anyone who's bothered to read this many tags #idk these things just feel like Tags thoughts not Post thoughts #anyway thanks for all the love this one has gotten!! i'm glad people are still enjoying it though *will voice* it's been a year mike #byler

[campbyler]

PLEASE IM BEGGING YOU WHAT TIME IS CHAPTER FOUR COMING OUT BECAUSE CRUEL SUMMER HAS BEEN STUCK IN MY HEAD FOR A WEEK AND I NEEEEEED IT

hi there! we’ve gotten a lot of asks like this in anticipation of Chapter Four Day and we love the enthusiasm and are flattered you guys are so excited !! <3 unfortunately it’s hard for us to give an exact time for chapter drops — more than like. maybe a couple hours in advance? — including ch4 :/ all three of us are super super busy during the day so we can’t often promise a time and be able to stick to it (chapters 2 and 3 were posted Literally the second andi and i could step away from work on a break) but rest assured thea is hard at work on finishing up and making sure it’s good to go! i would MAYBE expect it sometime around late evening-ish EST but don’t hold me to that bc we take editing and fine tuning very seriously 🤸we will let you know before it happens though so you can be on the lookout 🫡 for anyone who might miss it tonight because of time differences or the woes of being Sleepy, just know you’ll wake up to a brand new shiny chapter of acswy tomorrow morning 💞💞 we think you guys are going to enjoy this one :)

#weekdays are chaotic for all of us especially fridays lol #we were lucky enough to find time to upload 2/3 early in the day but i would not be surprised if in the future chapters were posted after #5 or 6 pm in our respective time zones (pst/cst/est) #just to keep expectations realistic! we would hate to say one time and keep pushing it back #anyways glad you guys are excited! hehehehe #asks #ch04

[burning-thistles-bt]

reasons i havent been writing number 1...

(spoiler: its an hour long again)

BUT!

good news! i know we've really just been teasing you and stringing you along here BUT! BUT BUT BUT!

ive started my ftf (face-to-face) college classes! WHICH MEANS! I AM GOING TO BE WRITING A LOT INSTEAD OF PAYING ATTENTION IN CLASS! (dw it's how i learn best/stave off the boredom)

now i think i'll write a chapter for my WGTKITD? fic (LMK fandom) first just because writing about the complex character relationships and family angst does something to my brain

BUT AFTER THAT! i will start getting myself back into the Burning Thistles GROOVE!

#it doesnt help that we like left off on a filler chapter i think gjksdfgkjsdf #our writing speed deffo wont be as fast as it was in hs bcus i only have 4 college days and then 3 work days #and i have 3 classes one day and 1 class the next and then repeat yknow #sooo its looking like my 1st class on the 3 class day and lunch are gonna be my prime writing times #but i likely wont get any on the 1 class day because its Algebra #and if im writing during math it means i am incredibly depressed/struggling/crying over math and want to ignore it #so really this is 2 writing days out of 7 a week. i can work with that but only one scenes/chapters i really like #what was the last chapter even. scourge had a baby #lolling thoughts #burning thistles #burning thistles au #update #bt update

[urielopot]

Hsy and yjh bickering is so amusing I love themmm <3 they're never on the same wavelength it's hilarious

#han sooyoung #making the novel 10 times more fun to read simply by existing #i love her so much #my girl is finally starting to truly step into her role as one of our three protagonists and the dialogue is all the funnier for it <3 #the interactions between those three are givibg me life and I've only gotten an itty bitty taste of it so far #chapter 386 #could have been farther had i not been busy studying and also forgoing reading the actual book to instead engage with fandom content... #fortunately orv spoilers are so confusing you might as well not have been spoiled in the first place lmao #orv novel

[hislittleraincloud]

Nobody:

Me: I think I'll go on a drug and writing binge to start the weekend early

#writing #writer problems #writer probs #writer probz #yes i realize that i post abt taking drugs while @ the same time bitching abt my addict neighbor who's completely abandoned our 'friendship #the difference is that i can take a lot of shit and still be breathing the next day AND not wanting to do it again immediately cuz addictio #isn't in me...like for anything #except books and media those i am addicted to #so off i go #hopefully i can finish Chapter 3 #miller's girl #miller's girl fan fiction

[eddsworldstuck]

"hey Joker, how's it going? with writing or just, anything."

i blacked out and wrote some of two different chapters for two different acts

#eddsworldstuck #ews creator #when the inspo hits: it hits HARD #i recently wrote and posted a game of dice fic again and the same thing happened #i got hit with inspo. blacked out. woke up to 800+ words. posted at 2 in the morning #...not the first time i wrote everything in one go and posted in the middle of the night (also for game of dice) #i think if i were to actually want to post ews' story to the public again: i'd wait until at least the first act is finished #i'm just writing ews again for me in my downtime aside from working on game of dice stuff #so i don't have a set schedule or anything for ews #what listening to the persona 3 ost (og & reload) and marianas trench on repeat does to me #also what spite against my old writing can do #17 year old me our writing was a mess girl (gender neutral) #also i renamed one of the chapter titles cause i got a new song and i went 👀 listening to it #it's the chapter for the screenshot on the right actually

[cream-and-tea]

LAY ME DOWN. chapter seven excerpt. unedited. featuring: agnes taking some time to explore her new surroundings and reflect on her old ones. blasphemy. implied homophobia. religious trauma. mild injury.

[Transcript under the cut]

hiiii! we’ve had pallas’s existential gender ponderings so it’s only fair that i post something that features much more heavily in the plot: Agnes And The Ongoing Sexuality Crisis! now go and listen to hallelujah (in your arms) by semler at least 50 times to accurately recreate the experience i had writing this chapter <3

TAGLIST (ask to be +/-). @vellichor-virgo​ @nicola-writes​ @doctormoss​ @gerbermatter​ @cactusprincewrites @houndmouthed @muddshadow @just-wublrful @midnights-melodiverse @corkywantstowrite @paradisiacalshroud @andromedatalksaboutstuff @kingsinking @lungs-and-gills @lychniscitrus @phantomnations

This isn’t the first time she’s dreamt of girls. 

Agnes considers that fact as she pulls everything out of the chest sitting at the foot of the bed (spare bedding mostly, sheets and quilts and pillowcases— multiple of each—and at least one heavy coat). They’ve never felt like that before though, clear and cold like water running over her skin, so obviously there. Most of the time she doesn’t even remember the other ones, just the feeling of them, waking up part ashamed and part euphoric (the euphoria always wore off long before the shame).

Agnes checks under the bed, then opens and closes the drawer on the end table, scoots it over to peer behind it, not really sure what she’s looking for. Secret passages maybe? Hidden traps? Something to let her know what the rules are here. 

There are, in her experience, at least three kind of rules in the world: the kind that people will tell you up front, the kind that they expect you to just know about and act surprised when you don’t, and the kind that they never say out loud but you can feel somewhere in your bones must be followed at all costs (We don’t talk about how Agnes sees ghosts and we don’t talk about how Agnes thinks about girls both fall into this category). Normally it takes her way too long to figure out which are which, she can’t afford to do that here where everything is already so confusing. 

Pallas would probably know all the rules, if she can find them, if they don’t make her brain explode when she does. Pallas had seemed to know everything about whatever this place is. What would they think of the girl in her dreams? They’re a weird and very sharp sort of person, she thinks, not really anything in particular at all. A why more than a what. If they weren’t definitely going to murder her if she looked at them wrong she would ask about that. 

There’s nothing in the desk but pencils, pens and a stack of notebooks. There’s nothing under the rug or behind the dresser filled with clothes that all look her size. The bookshelf is half full of titles she doesn’t recognize. She’s too weak to climb up to and push aside the strange painting of a human-faced deer full of arrows that hangs over the fireplace. When she limps her way to the bathroom the tub is still full and stagnant from when she filled it the night before but her clothes have mysteriously vanished from their crumpled pile on the floor. 

Agnes sways, then sits on the edge of the bathtub to appease her screaming ankle. She swings one leg into the water, hoping that will somehow help the pain, presses the heels of her hands into her eyes. “Okay. Okay okay okay.”

Things she knows: This is a library in a forest a long time after libraries stopped being something people thought about (her mother is dead). This library is supposedly full of people like her and people like Pallas (her Papá is gone). It’s going to teach her about what she is (her mother is dead). It’s not going to be easy (her mother is dead). She shouldn’t tell anyone her name (her mother is dead). The Library is supposed to save the world. (her Papá is gone). There are doors in trees that lead to tunnels that lead to here and things that look like dogs but aren’t and people that can bend blood and flesh and a Director who’s office sits in the void with a sword hanging above it in suspended animation (her Papá is gone and her mother is dead her Papá is gone and her mother is dead but somehow she is alive alive alive).

Things she doesn’t know: How exactly The Library is going to save the world. What The Library knows about the men in white. Where the men in white could have taken Papá. How these people can teach her about ghosts. How this place stands untouched in a forest that consumes everything around it. Why the girl in her dreams was asking her to find her. Whether or not there will be people her age here. Why the dogs and the Director and the librarian remind her of what the men in white did to her mother. Where her clothes went. If she’ll ever see Pallas again or if they’ve left her for good. If God hates her or not. Why there’s a sword in the Directors office. If there’s a place she can get food. If there’s any point to the deer painting or if it’s there just to creep her out. 

The closest thing they’d had to art on the walls back home was a wood-burned etching of the Virgin Mary that sat propped on a shelf above the kitchen table. Papá had made it for Mother for some anniversary and it really was very beautiful, dark line’s swirling across polished cedar. Her mother loved it and Agnes loved it too, there was something mesmerising about how the natural whorls and grain of the wood mixed with scratchy charcoal dark swirls. She’d liked the way the Mother of Gods eyes were ever so slightly downcast, as if she wanted to look at you but couldn’t quite bring herself to. Agnes could relate to that. And then one night when she was thirteen and everything seemed awful forever she’d gone to bed late after too little time spent with Mother and too much time wandering with the ghosts and dreamt that the carving had come alive. 

Mary had still been the colour of wood in the dream, but soft to the touch, human and wrapped in flowing fabric. Agnes had been standing barefoot and bareshouldered in the middle of the kitchen and Mary had knelt in front of her very very close and Agnes had used to clumsy hands to move the veil from her hair and the Blessed Virgin's hair had come loose around her face and she’d put her carvedgirl hands on either side of Agnes’s face. 

Then Mary had said nos diligimus, quoniam ipse prior dilexit nos and put her lips close to Agnes’s and Agnes had woken up screaming like someone had doused her with boiling oil. 

This, obviously, woke her parents, but she’d been too sick with horror and shame to lie so instead had sobbed out everything into Papá’s shoulder. Then Mother had begun to talk in the high and strung out way that there was something very, very wrong and Papá had sent her to sit on the steps outside in the gnawing February air where she’d pressed her hands to her ears and her snot-streaked face to her knees, trying to block out the sound inside while a dead woman and her barely-there son had pressed to either side of her, trying to be comforting but really only making her colder.

She felt about the same then as she does now, half-awake and shuddery and like she could make one wrong move and the world would collapse in screaming fire around her, well-worn prayers buoying in her heavy head, bits of wood carried along by a torrent of floodwater.

Oh Lord, what’s happening to me.

Oh Lord, why why why why why.

#listen ok. listen it was so hard to decide which warnings to put at the top of this one #how dare i say can i accurately sum up ‘so one of my first Gay Awakening moments was with the wood burned carving of the virgin mary my pa #rents kept in our kitchen. yeah it was kind of hot. yeah it scarred me for life’ #i think i did well considering the circumstances lol #and yes despite this being in chapter 7 agnes will take the majority of the book to admit she likes girls #not that i blame her but babygirl. sweetheart. pls take a moment and sit down and think #it’s so funny bc for the entire story pallas is like i am so Brooding and Traumatized #i have Secrets That Must Never See The Light Of Day i am lying to myself at all times #meanwhile agnes is operating at a baseline repression level they can’t even DREAM of #it’s the growing up catholic <3 #wip: ghost story #creme does a writing

[lesenbyan]

There are few things worse, I think, than reading a call to action memoir that is so close to right but really should have been shelved for at least 5yrs before going to print so the author has time to learn enough to see all the false equivalencies that really hinder the point

#personal; #yeah fatphobia is bad but dont you dare act like people aren't asking disabled people to medically alter themselves every day??? #you compare bariatric and gender affirming surgeries in such a way that makes the latter sound easy to get?? #and in fact don't at ALL go into the struggles for transition care except for a nod at FL while comparing us (trans people) #to fat people like our lives are Much Easier instead of /oppressed by the same white colonial structures that enforce fatphobia/ #but go off i guess #i was giving a lot of leeway when i was just side eyeing the comparisons with racism bc i'm not fat and i've not experienced enough racism #to say either way on those #but the MOMENT she started using trans and disabled comparisons i about lost it #and also randomly started calling it antisemitic (sure as much as it's violnt to all poc) in the last chapter with nothing supporting it #like you can tell it was written over the course of the last like 2 maybe 3 years without enough space to breathe #i have listened to a book on writing memoir so often i've got some of it all but memorized #and i agree that if it's more recent than a decade you're probably too close to be writing it #and this author's writing mostly about during pandemic times. this is more a journal and call to action than memoir #but its not polished enough to be a proper call to action bc there's not much it gives you to do other than 'stop dieting & dare to be fat' #which isn't an effective call to action when only those most harmed by fatphobia can act on it you know??? #lots of complaints #3/10 #edit: reiterting that i'm not saying it' #*it's not anti-semitic; just that a good published work of this kind doesn't make last second claims and certainly not ones #they haven't already explicitly supported in the text #i feel the need to clarify with the very very vocal rise of anti semitism esp in the left #like yes there are anti-Semitic ties. she didn't name them. just said 'they exist lol' and this went to print #great study in poor research slipping onto shelves bc topic matter is relevant

[b4kuch1n]

current round of ink comm finished! I am on a train! this will not be the last time

#bakuspeech #this is to say: probably wont be able to get to that third round of the month dangit sorry lads #I'll open for that again in august probably... cause july is art fight #and fic time as well. I wanna get on at least starting the next chapter of burnished house while on this trip #either there are two puppies in the catering car of this train or the engine makes some real interesting noises #theres also a guy who came into our compartment (we got two beds in a six-bed one. its an overnight train) and just #slept on the bottom bunk for the night. I went to sleep at like 3 and he was there. woke up at 8 and he wasnt there anymore #trains are Very cool. anyways next week I will be away from most things and close to specific things #so uh. might be hard to get ahold of me be warned! thats it babeyy #have a good day! a train is a kind of dragon