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sadfantheories · 2 years

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Adventure Time: Marceline’s vampirism as a metaphor for sexual assault

CW: sexual assault, trauma, PTSD

Spoilers: Adventure Time “Stakes” miniseries (season 7, episodes 6-13)

Okay, I wanna talk about Stakes. For those who don’t know, it’s an 8-episode miniseries in the middle of season 7 that focuses on Marceline. I’m not going to go super deep into the plot details, but the gist is this: Marceline decides she doesn’t want to be a vampire anymore, so Princess Bubblegum cures her and in doing so releases all of the vampires she killed and got her powers from. She then has to kill them each one-by-one with the help of Finn, Jake, PB, and Peppermint Butler. At the end, she faces the Vampire King, the one who originally turned her into a vampire, and he turns her back into a vampire.

As someone who has experienced sexual assault, this series felt like it had such clear parallels to it. Even if it’s not explicitly what the writers intended, it resonated so strongly with me and I wanted to articulate those feelings.

How Marceline became a vampire

The clearest, most direct mirror of sexual assault is how Marceline gets turned into a vampire. In episode 8 (”Vamps About”), we see her fighting the Vampire King; she’s been fighting vampires for a long time, and killing him would finally wipe them out. It seems to be an evenly matched fight until suddenly, the tone shifts; he whispers “You know, Marceline, there's still another way...Another way to save my people.” The reality of what is about to happen sets in - he lunges towards her and bites her. He is physically on top of her, restraining her, as he bites into her neck and pushes himself into the stake she planned to use to kill him. She’s screaming “no,” only making him push farther. Finally, he’s gone: the stake worked, it killed him, but it’s too late. She’s left on the floor, sobbing.

For those who have experienced assault, this is a raw, violent, and violating scene. It immediately brought up memories of my own experiences and brought me to tears. The VK physically asserts control over her; he is violating her space and her boundaries and is clearly violating her physically. He’s pushing down on her so hard that the stake she’s holding eventually kills him, but not before he irrevocably hurts her. And at the end of it, he has changed the course of her life forever: she is now a vampire.

This is a pivotal moment in her life that she cannot go back on. This is clearly a traumatic experience for her and it was inflicted upon her by someone in a violent and cruel way. This is now her trauma to carry.

Marceline’s view on vampirism

At the start of episode 6 (”Marceline the Vampire Queen”), Marceline explains that “some bad things happened to me when I was little. When I became a vampire, I was just a messed-up kid. Now it's 1,000 years later, and I'm still messed up.” As someone with PTSD, this felt like it was lifted from my own thoughts. Trauma does this to you - it freezes you in the moment when the trauma happened. Her being a vampire is a clear physical manifestation of this, but so are her thoughts. She’s been living with this trauma her whole life, unable to escape it because it won’t let her.

For many with PTSD, it feels like that trauma happened yesterday, and I think that’s what Marceline is getting at. This one single moment froze her, physically and mentally, and she wants to be done with it: she says “I don't want to spend eternity like this, with this emptiness.” She wants to heal.

Marceline’s attempt to cure her vampirism

She’s decided she’s ready to heal, so she consults Princess Bubblegum. She goes into a machine that removes all the vampire effluvium (aka vampire juice). It feels too easy almost, right? Unfortunately, that is the case - doing so releases all of the vampires she killed, the Vampire King among them.

Honestly? I can’t blame her for trying. I’ve personally had the thought more times than I could count that I wish I could wake up and be cured, that I could just forget this trauma or make it so it never happened to me. She did what so many people wish they could do and removed the evil bad thing that happened to her so she could finally be healed. Unfortunately, that’s not how it works, and it just brought up new wounds and will bring her back to facing her assaulter.

Marceline’s fights against the vampires

After they were freed, Marceline now has to fight each of these vampires one by one again. While I’m not going to get into the larger significance of each of them (although there are a number of great analyses on their mirrors in tarot and what each represents to Marcy), the order and way each gets tackled is important.

Everyone is out in the woods looking for these vampires, ready to use their new tools as a team. Marceline tells them all to go back to the cabin; she wants to do this alone. After finding their encampment, she easily defeats the Fool by herself, just like she did in the past. However, she is suddenly faced with the VK, her assaulter. Rather than fight, he asks to be friends, claiming he has changed as so many horrible people do. And deep down, Marceline knows this isn’t true: she tells him “it doesn't matter how you pretend to change. You've done enough already to get staked a thousand times over. You're monsters. You'll always be.” To her, he will always be the one who did this to her, and the fact that he wants to be friends is disrespectful and insulting. He just wants to come back and act like it doesn’t matter? Fuck. you.

However, her time with the VK is short, and it’s clear this won’t be their final fight. He informs her that one of the others is moving towards the Ice Kingdom, towards Simon.

She turns her attention to the Empress because she poses the most immediate threat to Simon. She tries to fight her alone but nearly fails until PB show up to help. For those with trauma, this signifies a common desire to heal it alone. The thought process of “I don’t want to burden anyone, I don’t want to make them afraid or view me differently. It’s my trauma, I can handle it alone, I’m strong enough to do this.” But, as we quickly come to see, that’s just not possible. She has to let someone in to help her, and it does help: they’re able to defeat the Empress, together.

As a team they tackle the other vamps until Marceline gets injured. PB takes her back to the Candy Kingdom and Finn and Jake are entrusted with the second-to-last vampire. Marceline has to let go of her control to step back and heal herself, which is an incredible step forward. She entrusts others to help carry this burden, at least for a moment, which is something we haven’t seen yet. But we know this can’t be the end: the Vampire King is still out there.

Marceline vs the Vampire King

Finally, after defeating all the other vampires, Marceline is left to fight the VK. Yet, he doesn’t want to fight - he wants his powers removed too. He throws an epic tantrum that is incredibly disturbing: here is this violent man splashing around acting like a child. I’m not going to delve into the meaning of this here (but this post does an amazing job covering it, imo), but the summary is that he gets his powers removed and we are left with him turning into a docile lion and a bucket of black vampire goo. The bucket gets spilled, releasing a dark lamb-shaped cloud of pure evil. Now, we see the true final enemy.

Surviving

The gang gets ready to fight the evil cloud, but Marceline is noticeably upset. When asked what’s wrong, she responds, “Me. I'm wrong. This—all of this—this is all my fault. Even just fighting the vampires in the first place screwed everything up. Sure screwed me up, anyway. And, geez Louise, trying to fix it—trying to fix me... Just made things a thousand times worse. So why even try, you know? What's the point?” She’s resigning - she has done everything she can to try and make this trauma go away, and all it did was bring her back face to face with her assaulter. Not only that, but now the people she loves most are tangled up in it. So, she won’t fight.

That doesn’t deter everyone else, and as a united front from all kingdoms they launch an attack on this cloud. It’s an incredibly powerful moment of unity, but it doesn’t change Marceline’s mind. Instead, she sits on the rubble of PB’s cabin and sings, when suddenly the Ice King/Simon shows up. He says he won’t be fighting either, and tells her “You and me—we're survivors, right? Like cockroaches or rats. Sure, you could fight and try to save the day, but what if you lose? Then what?"

For those with trauma, this is a powerful sentiment. The idea of “your trauma made you stronger,” is bullshit. I made me stronger; I survived it. Marceline has lived with this trauma for so long, and now, she’s tired of fighting it. I don’t blame her. Yet, the most powerful act she could do is what she’s already done: she survived.

Finally, Marceline changes her mind and goes to fight. After all, everyone else’s efforts have been futile; perhaps she is truly their last hope. Or, perhaps she realizes that she has to be the one to face this. Other people can help in the journey of healing, but ultimately, it is up to her. Finally, she gets to be in control of it.

She charges into the cloud and a mouth opens, right over her heart, and starts consuming the cloud from the inside. She’s winning - she’s defeating it. Right before the last of it is gone, fangs appear and bite her neck.

Everything Stays

So, where are we left? Marceline at home, a vampire once again. Her friends are there with her and have tried to make her space as comfortable as possible. Finn struggles to say what many people close to those with trauma can’t articulate either: he asks, “Are you, uh... Do you feel bad? I don't want to say, like, ‘I'm sorry about who you are’ or anything if you're feeling okay, but I don't know how bad news all of this is... Right?” Marceline basically hasn’t changed in a physical sense since she’s a vampire once again, and it’s difficult to clearly express how that feels. Clearly she’s been brought back and relived her trauma, and Finn senses this, but it’s not clear where she stands on it. She says it’s okay, that she’s gained “more empathy or something” and is “more grown-up.” Her friends say goodbye, and she’s left alone again. She sings, for the second time in the miniseries, “Everything Stays.”

Everything stays, right where you've left it

Everything stays, but it still changes

Ever so slightly, daily and nightly

In little ways

When everything stays

She stays.

There is no world where her trauma didn’t happen to her. There is no world where she will wake up one day and forget what has happened to her.

Everything stays

But that doesn’t mean she can’t heal. Every day, she survives; every day, she grows; every day, she heals a little bit more than the last.

But it still changes. Ever so slightly, daily and nightly

She faced her trauma, and in her own way, she won. She saw him, the Vampire King, again. She helped her friends, and she allowed her friends to help her.

In little ways

This is a part of her. This is a part of her story. It doesn’t make her weak, it doesn’t make her bad, it just is. Even though she’s a vampire once again, she is changed.

When everything stays

#adventure time #marceline #adventure time marceline #marceline the vampire queen #stakes #adventure time stakes #everything stays #sa #tw: sa

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tenderlyrenjun · 4 years

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The One with the Halloween Party

summary: your best friend has a halloween party but all you want to do is make out with your secret fuck buddy

↛ ↛ ↛ best friend’s younger brother!Yanyang x older reader

↛ ↛ female reader, college au, mentions of alcohol, suggestive, halloween party, sneaky relationship, secret make out sessions in a closet, inspired by Monica and Chandler from F.R.I.E.N.D.S. (the one where phoebe hates pbs), the next part is going to be spicier (smut)

↛ word count: 7,6k; previously titled: “The One with the Best [Sex] I’ve Ever Had”

preview > part one > part two

It becomes exceedingly apparent that Ten never replaced the strike plate – the gold one, in the closet door by the front entrance of his apartment. He has been living here for two years and still has not replaced the locking mechanism. And you only really take notice because you feel it. The door opens way too easily. You are not even sure why you turn the handle, since the door opens so easily, so goddamn easily. Then, on top of that, the strike plate scratches your nose when you peek out the coatroom. You have to send prayers, begging for no one to hear you creak open the door or hear the squeak from your throat. And the spotlight effect theory, that Yangyang rambled on last week before his social psych midterm, comforts you somewhat, reminding you that all those cliché Halloween costumes in the living room are probably not attune to your indecency as you think they are. Maybe a quickie during Ten’s overcrowded Halloween party (although it was not this packed last year) was not the best decision. Especially, since your own cheerleading skirt, equally cliché, slips down your waist for the first time tonight, rather than riding up like it did minutes before. And you tiptoe back into the closet again, half-bent over to stop your outfit from completely falling off while pressing a hand to close the door as silently as possible. The thought of accidentally exposing yourself in front of all your friends is so embarrassing that your face heats up nearly enough to brighten the room, like a candle or 80s built house.

Right into Yangyang’s bare chest.

“Ow,” you mutter, palm protectively flying to your forehead. It did not hurt – bumping into him, but hopefully, covering some parts of your face understate the extent of this mortifying rendezvous. You take a baby step backward, then knock into the door and the tongue rattles, making you stiffen, making you freeze for a second. Yangyang puts his hands on your upper arms, rubbing them warm, as you look over your shoulder to verify that the door is still, in fact, closed. Both you and Yangyang are honestly incredibly lucky that no one caught you two, so when you confirm the locked door, your arms droop and you lull closer to Yangyang. Your eyes open after a second, and you jolt up again, realizing just how naked he is and how naked he is going to stay. You drag your nails down his pecs and ball your fingers into loose fists before completely breaking off him.

“Back up,” you whisper-shout, as if this command is part of some grand scheme.

Yangyang smirks, his smile curling wider. “I’m not the one touching someone’s rock hard abs.”

You want your glare to push him back, like your command, between all the jackets and superhero capes, but you get provoked by his cockiness. He was so much quieter and pliable when you first met. Now, you are the quiet, pliable one, or at least you are in this situation. Yet you bite at him – with your words, not your lips like his evil grin implies that he wants. “You wish.”

“That’s not what you said last night.” Yangyang approaches you, gauging your reaction until his breath ghosts over yours. And not seeing any actual restraint, he kisses the corner of your mouth teasingly, like it could start another round. Then he lowers his lips to your ear and whispers, “Or five minutes ago.” You wonder if he can feel your eye roll because he tries to change it from annoyed to turned on, sucking on the vein behind your ear.

And for that reason, you put a hand on his chest again, this time lower, on his stomach, specifically on his abs. His smirk broadens and his lips part again, aggravatingly making that clicking sound with his tongue, so you push on him. “Just –“ You pull your hand back to your face again, noticing the lack of change in warmth between his stomach and your face; maybe he is as embarrassed as you are, or turned on all over again. The latter is worse, probably, hopefully, not really. He looks really good and you just want to … You shake your head. “Wait a minute after I leave so this –“ You gesture between yourselves, touching his stomach again, then jerking away again. “- doesn’t look suspicious.”

Yangyang grabs your waist, sympathetically, although not entirely agreeing with your request. He tugs your bottoms over you ass and you expect him to retract immediately after, including the baby step that you asked for, but he only stops you from moving, keeping you locked in place – in place next to him. You roll your eyes again, unhooking his hands. Before you can completely detach, he interlocks your fingers and pushes you against the door, kissing you warmly.

Your head knocks into the door, loudly you think, and you stiffen again. Until his left hand travels behind your knee, up your thighs, and his lips open over yours, his tongue sliding next to yours. You stand on your toes, back curving into his embrace, off the extremely wiggly door, your arms hugging him closer as he pulls you up, pulls your clothes up. His right hand slides down your spine, thumbing at your waistband. This entire embrace is another persuasion, you note, and it usually works, like those mornings before AB Psych, but you two are in a closet, at a party, barely blocked by an unfastened doors that you are actually not sure is soundproof. So, you come down onto your heels and bring your hands to his chest again.

“Mmm mmm.” You shake your head off him. He trails you forward but you end the embrace, tightening your hands over the lapels, to close it, to close off his dumb attractive abs this time. “We have to get back.”

Yangyang pokes your personal bubble again, sliding his chest onto yours, and your arms stretch behind his neck, the closeness giving you some pressure on your boobs. He looks at you for a second, pupils scanning your eyes before he bends his neck on your, opening his mouth during an open mouth kiss.

“We’ve only been gone for a minute,” he seduces you, simultaneously sliding his tongue between your lips to prod at yours.

You slide your hands onto his face, comfortably holding his jaw in place as you look into his eyes, reinforcing your reasoning. “Try twenty.” You sigh, letting go of him. “I feel like such a bad guest. I haven’t even greeted the host yet.”

“Ten will be fine,” Yangyang reassures you, pushing past your fingertips to kiss you again. “Meanwhile –“ He kisses you deeply and you exhale, basically melting all over again. If he did not support you, you might have fallen onto the ground. God, he has some effect on you, and you cannot entirely describe it. “- I am not fine. You could greet me a little more enthusiastically.”

“I’m pretty sure you finished being so enthusiastic, a minute ago,” you scold. You square your hands over his shoulders and gently lean him off you, successfully separating him in the process, then reach for the doorknob. “We’re playing a risky game here, with the door unlocked.”

Yangyang slants forward, fusing you with the door. Your arm bends behind you, at your side, as he envelopes you, so he relaxes you again, taking down your elbow. You look at him with wide, pouting eyes, like that iPhone emoji. He can keep persuading you, effectively, and you will stay with him, but …

“Mmm mm,” you protest, pulling away. You hit your head on the door, hoping that it was not loud enough for someone to hear. “We – I really have to get going.”

Yangyang sighs, ceding, “Alright, fine.”

He beckons you out, looking away, flicking his wrist. And you wonder if he is actually complying. You look from him to the door, stuttering back to him. This would be the time for him to persuade you into staying again, and his gaze is devastating enough to convince you, but you really have to enter the party. As you grip the doorknob again, Yangyang hugs your back, clasping his hands like a belt over your skirt, and you can feel him pout into your shoulder, chin descending further into your skin. You placate him with a brief kiss to his knuckles – something chaste and fleeting, nothing like the fluttering in your heart. And since you cannot see his expression, you wonder if he actually enjoys these small acts of intimacy, of if he cringes; if he does cringe, then he is really good at hiding it, because you cannot perceive anything from him. Although, the moments in bed, in the most intimate hours, when the pads of his thumbs press into your lower back, you think that he feels it too.

Unfortunately, he cannot do that right now. And you head out the door first, straightening your direction over to the bar like a new arrival, or like someone who did not come to their best friend’s party just to make out with said best friend’s younger brother, or closest thing to a younger brother as he can get.

It only takes a few seconds for Yangyang to consider your goodbye, before completely rejecting it, then he groans into the empty closet, throwing his gaze at the ceiling. After, he pokes his head out the door, looking left and right like crossing the street, until the coast is clear for him to leave. When he rejoins the party, he instinctively searches for you among the cliques of cliché Halloween costumes. And he finds you, easily if he might add, at the bar, chatting with Jacob, probably about your matching basketball uniforms. Well, you wear a Trailblazer’s outfit and him a Jazz one – natural rivals but neither of you take it serious enough to start an argument in a semi-public setting.

Yangyang waits for you to leave the bar and meet up with Ten, interrupting his conversation to say hello. He nicks a capri sun from the fridge, then joins you right after with a bright smile on his face, middle fingers pressing into your lower back like a greeting wave. The act might have been offensive, had you been in a club and he a stranger, but he knows you, he likes you. And he smiles even wider when you relax into his hand. Nevertheless, Ten stands three feet away, putting the two of you on edge, and your spine straightens in the most attentive way possible, like you are a military subordinate or something, even though you are dressed as a basketball cheerleader from the U.S. state where you spent a winter semester abroad during freshman year, before Yangyang joined your university. So, to make the conversation more natural, Yangyang high-fives Ten, while you take his juice box away and open it for him. He stares at you, smile faltering, suddenly feeling smaller as you take care of him and Ten resumes whatever the hell you two had been talking about until he entered the conversation.

“Oh, come on,” Ten whines, hitting your arm after you hand Yangyang the capri sun. You glare at him sharply, then make sure Yangyang is okay, rubbing his arm comfortingly. He wants it to mean more, because he does not know what you want from him, but now is not the time, not when you are trying to keep everything on the DL. “I want to meet the guy who is the best sex you’ve ever had.”

Yangyang mimics your body language, though peppier as he smirks. “Really?” he asks Ten. “That’s what you heard?” He turns to you, tilting his head teasingly. “That’s really what you said?”

You baby-step out of the trio, slightly further from Yangyang specifically until you knock into Winwin behind. Your conversation partners giggle at you as you throw a small apology over your shoulder, then you glare at them upon returning to the group. You exhale slowly, giving yourself time to think before speaking, and redirect your annoyance at Yangyang more than Ten. “I might have.”

“Why didn’t you invite him to the party, huh?” Ten asks, bumping shoulders, wiggling suggestively. He raises his eyebrows, glancing at Yangyang to rope him into the teasing too and he falls into it because your mystery boyfriend is already here. Yangyang stops dancing when Ten’s expression changes, softens and reminisces. “I get the whole ��respecting his privacy thing, but, like, I really want to meet the guy who helped you get over Renjun.”

The name drop causes Yangyang to shoot his eyebrows to the moon. His neck snaps at you faster than Kun’s when he jokingly accepted a marriage proposal. He watches you widen your eyes at Ten and smack him loudly. Maybe not everyone knew that, he thinks; he certainly did not know that, and he has known Renjun longer than you or Ten have. While you and Ten stare each other off, irritated and shocked, respectfully, Yangyang loudly slurps the last of his capri sun.

Yangyang tries to break the tension by pointing to the wall adjacent from you all, at Renjun. “He’s taking five shots of Smirnoff with Jeno right now, while Jaemin holds lemons at the ready.”

“Big deal,” Ten waves him off while keeping eye contact with you. Yangyang stares at his face, looking him up and down, then decides to take a baby step in front of your leg, almost protectively. He cannot gauge where Ten stands, where the conversation is going, but he knows that he will be there for you, just in case. “I did that when I was 17.”

You smack Ten, with the arm opposite of Yangyang, using the other one to pull Yangyang back into an equilateral triangle. “Don’t normalize underage drinking.” Yangyang almost rolls his eyes at that; who are you even saying that too?

“Hey!” Ten counters. “No one is underage at my party.” He holds your hand and pulls you into his side, into a scalene triangle, while covering your mouth. “Shhh, you can’t say that out loud. I invited Mr. I’m-A-Lawyer-Now, and besides, -“ You pull out of his arms and stand slightly in front of Yangyang. “-I just happened to invite the babies, too. Like Yangyang.” Ten turns to the devil in disguise and pinches his cheeks. “Baby.”

Yangyang single-handedly unbuttons his shirt again, like an act of defiance. “I am not a baby!”

Ten drops his head to the side, quirking an eyebrow. “You respond to baby,” he retorts, “And you’re drinking a juice box.”

“I had a bottle of soju earlier!”

“Oh? Just one?”

Yangyang folds the aluminum capri sun into his pocket, hopefully discreetly, and scrunches his nose at Ten. He feels you gently draw him back at your side, via his wrist, and expects you to defend him, but you just tease him further:

“Pics or it didn’t happen.”

Yangyang straightens up, his jaw dropping, then he crinkles his nose and sticks his tongue out at you. He accepts it though, not changing the topic, because he sees the way your posture shifts when everyone moves away from the romantic department.

Although, he might want to talk to you about it sometime.

Ten grounds him back to the conversation, patting his hair – the same spot you place kisses when the two of you cuddle and he is the small spoon, so Yangyang ducks away, slapping Ten’s hand out of the air. The whole hair touching thing reminds him that you are never really vulnerable enough with him, to let him hold you like baby. He wants to try it, especially since Ten keeps babying him in front of you, but he is not sure if you even like it.

“Yeah,” you agree, your voice low. You poke Yangyang’s side then cross your arms over your cropped jersey. “You’re so cute.”

Yangyang circles his neck towards you, smiling reassuringly, or at least he thinks so. His gaze wanders from your eyes to your fingers, which are coiled around your upper arm, so he starts taking off his jacket, pulling off the cuffs behind his back. But he stops after feeling your hand on his bicep. He glances at your hand, then stares at your eyes before pouting:

“I don’t want to be cute.”

He stops stripping but still decides to keep you warm, with another back hug, this time enveloping you into his jacket while he rests his chin on your head, even tiptoeing just to commit to the hug. When you squirm, shaking your shoulders to hit his pecs, he just hangs on slightly tighter until you stop. And after you relax, resuming natural conversation with Ten about anything other than your former crush, he smiles, coming back down to his heels and leaning on your shoulder. The new position tempts him to kiss your neck, and he almost does, but then he feels Ten’s eyes look at him, so he cannot even press a small peck at your jugular like he does sometimes when he catches you at the café by the physics building – the one that only Jaemin goes to, out of all his friends; the one where neither of you get spotted by your friends so it seems like a date, not that either of you have ever called it that. Nope. He avoids kissing your neck and just brushes his nose along your skin. It does not come off as platonic, he recognizes, but Ten does not ask any questions and Yangyang slowly phases out of the conversation to meet up with Hendery who walked through the front door as a pink bunny rabbit.

Yangyang slipping out of the trio feels so sudden, you think after feeling his hands unbuckle around your waist.

Maybe he does not feel important in the conversation anymore. So, you lock your elbows into your sides, clasping your own hands over your stomach to make him stay put. You knock your head onto his collarbone, prompting him to say something, but he does not, only resting his chin on your shoulder. Hopefully, he is smiling; you like his smile. His cheek pokes you at your neck, similar to how he almost kissed you in front of Ten just minutes ago. Then, he pushes his hand in front of you, to wave at Hendery, opposite the room, and your smile quirks down, somewhat embarrassed, as you trace his direction to the pink, fluffy ears bopping along to last year’s Travis Scott song. Ten copies you, twisting hesitantly behind himself. Meanwhile, Yangyang grows a little bolder, hunching forward onto his tiptoes to kiss your cheek silently, before dashing off with his friends.

Too stunned, eyes wide, mouth smaller, you miss the way Ten turns around, his smile wide with a teasing remark on the tip of his tongue. It goes away though, when he sees your face, so after making eye contact, you are met with an ominous stare. It is also curious, but the ominousness throws you for a loop. Then he raises his brow slightly, and you smack him, simultaneously asking what he wants.

“Nothing, nothing,” he laughs, crossing his arms over his pilot costume. He relaxes once you show no intent to hit him again, then he locks his hands behind his back, leaning toward your face mischievously. And when his nose almost pokes your eye out, you jump back into WInwin again, glare prompting him to ask stupid questions. “I simply want to know what all that was about.”

“What?” you bite at him, annoyed, following your second apology of the night to Winwin. And instead of meeting his eye (to give yourself more time to think of an excuse, no matter how flimsy), you flatten down the bottom of your top, where a iron-on patch of Dillard’s number disrupts the obnoxious Portland ‘P’ – you wonder if anyone connects your costume and Yangyang’s favorite basketball team, because no one says anything. Except, Ten is saying something right now, continuing the silent taunting into your personal bubble, getting almost as close as Yangyang was just a minute ago. So, you poke him away, on his forehead. “You want to know why I keep running into Winwin?” Ten rolls his eyes. Your voice does not feign innocence as well as you want.

“That was all you,” he deflects, eye contact maintained but he points at your vodka party drink, implying that you might have had a bit too much tonight. You swallow the alcohol faster, defiantly, and hold your breath, exhaling longer while you pause, holding the empty cup still above your dry tongue. “No, yeah, but, uh, no, that whole thing with Yangyang.” Ten bumps your arm with his elbow, coming to your side so that both of you can watch the man in question from across the room. “Huh?” he teases lightly. “Are you entertaining him? [Because] You two seem really … close.”

“I’m close with you,” you retort, touching his shoulder, into the crook of his neck, with your head. Then you stand back up, reflexively smiling when Yangyang laughs at a new TikTok dance that Hendery shows him. He even looks back at you, waving once your eyes meet. You throw him a thumbs up, and you swear that his smile gets brighter. It probably was not because of you though, because he starts giggling louder and dancing alongside Hendery right after. “We’re all –“ You turn to Ten, smile still blanketed under your nose, then you frown. “- friends; what’s that look for?”

“Nothing!” He imitates innocence better than you do, baring his palms for dramatic effect. You face him frontally, examining his devilishly handsome face for a crack. And he gives it to you: “It’s just that we’ve known each other for eight years and you never let me cuddle you like that.” He pokes your hip, where Yangyang was attached. “You’re closer with someone you just met.”

“You introduced us. In March!”

Ten waves a hand lazily. “Minor details. Besides –“ He blocks Yangyang from your view, not that it really mattered because you are trying to have a conversation with Ten. But it helps you maintain eye contact. “- you seem really comfortable with him being naked on you.”

You open and close your mouth in one short breath, swirling the empty red solo cup at your side, nervously. He has a point; you know he has a point – you are very comfortable with Yangyang being naked on top of you. Wait, he said on you. Either way, Ten is right. You do not want to admit it because that implies feelings, something that you are definitely not willing to talk about at the moment, especially this moment, but he is right. The question is if he needs to know.

“Did you hear about Yangyang and the anatomy student from Renjun’s class? They’re also close.”

You deadpan. As it turns out, he does not need to know. You are not dating, anyways, so …

“It’s my business, because…?”

“It’s not,” Ten agrees, shrugging. He looks off, turning his head toward Johnny, dressed as the Kellogg Tiger, before looking at you again. “Just thought you’d like to know.” He shrugs again. “If you didn’t already.”

“Uhh, okay,” you confirm, as nonchalantly as possible. You mirror his body language, standing straighter. Ten says nothing, not noticing the way your body stiffens, or at least, you hope so. “So you’re telling to what?” Get you jealous? “Give him advice?”

“Nah, we both know that he’s fully capable on his own.”

“Please,” you scoff. “He’s a baby who lives in a frat apartment with seven other dudes and buys food at the café by the physics department to avoid washing a knife.” Well, he charmed you, so how can you criticize his flirting abilities? You shrug – maybe, he was just that horny. He has always been a typical teenage boy. Although, he turned 20 a couple weeks ago.

“Huh.”

“What?” You come down from the high that somewhat roasted your sex partner … fuck buddy? friend with benefits? He is something to you - a little more than a friend but you do not think he would willingly be your boyfriend. Your voice sounds less excited now, and you run your hand through your hair, pulling slightly harder at the ends.

“Nothing,” Ten shrugs again. He twitches at you, briefly spinning his hips. “It’s just that Yangyang mentioned you go to that café too.”

“Yeah,” you drawl, like it is obvious. Ten smirks, knowingly, you think, so you crush him, “Jaemin, too.” You lift your eyes to the ceiling for a second, like it would give you an out. “And Kun on Tuesdays after 5.”

Ten scrunches his face, now facing you again. “Oh, we both know that Kun goes to the kiosk in the chemistry building for the cute barista with a good taste in music.”

You mockingly smile at him, squinting above your nose. He does not get the satisfaction of an equally annoyed laugh – probably because you might crack, your voice might crack and accidentally give something away. It’s not that you don’t want anyone to know that you are sleeping with Yangyang – you don’t, but not because it is embarrassing. You just do not particularly want to hear the two cents everyone seemingly needs to donate, like a commercial tax, especially with their baby Yangyang.

“Why did Hendery even dress up as a bunny? A pink bunny. Is he puling a Chandler?”

“No,” Ten shakes his head. This is the third conversation change you have made, and surely, he caught on by now. “Only Jisung and Winwin are watching F.R.I.E.N.D.S. with Chenle; I think that Hendery just like the costume.” Ten points at Johnny, flashing a wave, then glances at you. “I’m gonna head over there. I haven’t seen Johnny since he left for a Paris project.”

“Yeah, no,” you gesticulate, nodding, “go ahead. I’ll meet you later, or something.”

“We’ll catch coffee on Monday.” Ten’s voice shrinks as he moves away. “After office hours!” He turns around one more time, emphasizing his words louder, “At the physics café!”

Yangyang, along with a couple other people, snaps his neck at Ten walking away from you, especially after hearing the bit about the physics café because, no offence to Ten, but that is his place. With you. The café on 17th is his rendezvous point with you. He likes the whole secret aspect of your relationship – it is so sexy; you are so sexy. It is just … the face that everything is secret prevents him from explicitly opposing Ten’s suggestion. And before he knows it, Yangyang makes his way toward you, waving goodbye to his psych friends.

He already knows where you are, because sometimes he would glance over at you when someone made a joke, just to see you laugh, to laugh with you. Occasionally, you would be smiling brightly, at whatever Ten said, and look to him. So, all he has to do is turn right and find his annoyed cheerleader, to annoy you even more.

The music is louder by the kitchen exit, where you are, curled against the wall with an empty red solo cup, blue light from your phone glowing across your face. Yangyang takes the opportunity to scare you, hiding behind a couple groups until he reaches you, creeping slowly. Then he strikes, poking your obliques.

“Boo!”

“Ah!”

You jump against the wall, clutching all your belongings closer while he laughs at you.

“Aw, did I scare you?”

Yangyang envelopes you into a hug, ignoring the way you glare at him. And he relaxes, when you do, feeling you squeeze his waist and sigh. You will never admit it, but the two of you know that this is how your dynamic works – he annoys you, then you cuddle him. And he has so many ways to annoy you. Like, next, he pulls a 180 – both coming behind you and switching up the mood to grind under your hips.

“What are you doing?” he whispers in your ear, fast, grabbing your waist to guide you over his pelvis. He gets dangerously near your cheek, excusing it as a way for you to hear him better, since you two stand adjacent to the speakers, where the music is above talking decibel. His eye catches onto Lucas’s, and he winks, hands tightening above your skirt, because, despite all the teasing, this is not actually how he wants your entanglement to get out. “Wanna head upstairs? I just found a new TIkTok challenge you can practice on me, like the WAP one.”

“What are you doing?” you retort, laying your fingers on his bare chest – he likes that you keep touching him, not so much when you push him away. He wonders if you know that. Like, he chose his outfit for tonight because, well, he looks good, but also because he figured that you would think he looks good, too. It seems like you do, considering that your hand always finds ways back to his abs. So, he grows more confident, nipping at your ear while you push him against the wall, further away. Your eyes flutter, lashes blinking rapidly as he holds you closer, left hand toying with the hem of your shirt. He has this trick that you always react to, and he wants to do it now, while no one pays attention to either of you (larger parties afford far more privacy than smaller ones). You lean your head on his warm shoulder, then he presses his palm into your spine until you are chest to chest with him, impossible to get closer. Your breath sounds louder, as the music transitions to Goodbye feat. Lyse [slow version], and he wonders if he can elicit a moan from you, in the same frequency as the song’s growl. His right hand travels between your thighs, until you stop him, slapping his hand and holding him still. “We’re in public.”

Yangyang spins you around, showing off his own point of view as a counter argument: no one is paying attention. The whole thing bumps your connected hips into the wall, and his arm belts over your lower waist, driving you to essentially demi plie over his thigh that sneaks through your legs. At the sudden movement, you gasp, death gripping over his arm. He does not mind very much, only the red solo cup tapping rhythmically between the wall and his elbow. You barely get time to relax completely before he drops lower, just enough for him to look up at you. And he takes note of the sexual tension essentially radiating off the two of you, so he alleviates it, giving the illusion that there is only dancing going on right now. Though, you baby-step forward, to give him more space. His smile falters, twitching down, and he is thankful that you seem oblivious to it, because you comply with his action, letting your skirt flower spread over his leg and the smile return to his face. Yangyang guides your swaying left and right, grazing over his abs.

“I’m offering to go upstairs,” he answers definitively, still whispering in your ear. “More privacy.” His hands travel up again, skin getting lightly scratched by your top’s texture. Your nails might do a better job, if he remembers correctly. God, he wants you to take up his offer. “You didn’t have a problem with it an hour ago,” he points out, while dropping his gaze to your neck, once again tempted to mark you. He pulls away some of the baby strands that fell out of your hairdo, then locks eyes as he traces your ear shape. “Do you have a problem with it now?”

“No,” you answer him quickly, shaking your head for even more emphasis. You turn around fully and scan his eyes before shaking your head again. “I don’t have a problem.”

Yangyang smiles wider, instinctively bowing forward. Your ambiguous answer tells him more than he asked. He almost reveals something in return: that he enjoys kissing you, because he would totally do it right now, but you keep stopping him. He is all for consent, honestly; it just gets really confusing with you. Even now, he initiates a small, intimate touch while this moment afford you two some privacy, breathing open mouthed kisses onto the vein behind your neck, slightly illusioned in the dark lights as just talking to you. All the boundaries do no really define what he can, or cannot, do in public. Like, apparently, you two can have sex in a closet right before his best friend’s party – a best friend shared between you two, but there are rules about how close he can stand next to you. Both situations still involve secrecy. Although, one is far more sexier than the other. But he wants the whole damn thing – to hold you in public, and private, to kiss the part of your trapezius muscle that he likes so much, to be able to say that he knows places too, like the physics café where he doesn’t want Ten to take you because he takes you on dates there!

Then, you sigh.

Why are you sighing? It feels like that should be his response.

You clasp your hands behind his neck, evidently hesitating to reveal something – he knows because you fiddle with his collar a few times before moving onto the ends of his hair.

“It’s just …” You pause, so he tries to make his gaze unwavering, to hold you securely. “It’s just that a certain classmate might have a problem.” He furrows his eyebrows, bending onto his knees to ask for clarification. “You know … a certain classmate.”

Yangyang narrows his eyes, lost in translation. He slides up the wall and squeezes your waist, thinking, trying to figure you out.

“Oh!” he catches on. “Oh, I don’t think Hyunjin would have a problem with us.” He moves his hand to your shoulder, rubbing it comfortingly. “I don’t really see how anyone in any of our classes would have a problem with us, much less, like, know about us.” He cocks his head to the side sympathetically, lips brushing along your cheek to ear. “I don’t have a problem with us.” He drapes his arms around your sides. “Just FYI.”

“Me neither.”

He smiles wider. You two are on the same page about something. He almost kisses you right then and there, but settles for brushing his nose on yours, simultaneously taking a step backward, closer to the wall so that no one sees the obnoxiously domestic display of affection. Actually, it might be weird for Hendery, Xiaojun, or one of his psych friends to see him act so … boyfriend-like, so romantic. He doesn’t think that anyone would anticipate that kind of behavior from him, and he is honestly too sure if you see him like that. He would try it though, you know, because he is curious and he would like to be your boyfriend.

“Did Ten tell you about Hyunjin?” Yangyang asks, prodding slowly.

You nod, equally slow, eyes falling down. “He didn’t mention any names, -“ Yangyang feels something in his chest drop. He put a name to the idea, and now he watches your eyelashes flutter and the lump in your throat shake, as you try not to say the name. “- but yeah.” He hugs you, bending your arms around his stomach so that he jackets you in his empty shirt. You have said that he has a natural body warmth, and hopefully it is comforting right now, because …

“It’s not really his business who I talk to.”

Yangyang almost apologizes for creating an environment that fosters mistrust or makes room for insecurities. Except, (1) that sounds like a note he would write in his case study’s conclusion for class, and (2) how the hell is he even supposed to say that? He tries to show that this – whatever it is – is exclusive. Like, now, he just holds you tightly, during a Halloween party, only slightly out of view from his friends. He almost apologizes, and it is on the tip of his tongue, but he holds back, pursing his lips as you open your mouth.

“It’s not my business either,” you reason, stepping back. His embrace slackens, like rock climbing because he catches you, not letting you fall off him, even though you wiggle out a little bit, pushing him back into the wall. “Because we’re not dating.”

“No,” Yangyang partially agrees, standing straighter, supported by the wood. “We’re not, but we’re …” He wants to tell you about the exclusivity, that he considers the two of you to be exclusive. Some part of him thinks that you hold the same thought. And he cocks his head to the side, rolling his tongue behind his teeth. “We’re good friends. And, you know, we’re like, yeah. So, it’s your business too.” He rubs your shoulder again. “Wanna go upstairs and talk about it?”

Yangyang smacks your ass for attention, trying to make the situation fluffier, simultaneously gesturing to the second floor with his hair. This is not really the time nor place to dissect your relationship, and he would totally put it under the microscope. Just, maybe, at another time. You seem to agree, walking away first, holding his hand to guide him up the secretive stairs.

And despite this being his idea, Yangyang stops before the first step, waiting for you to march a couple feet taller than him. His eyes linger at the lowest hem of your skirt, until you plant one foot in front of the other, on two separate levels. You look over your shoulder and roll your eyes. He expected it, quickly meeting your gaze innocently. Then he smacks you ass again, as if he were not just looking up your skirt a second ago. You glare at him, but he slaps your ass again and races upstairs.

“You’re so annoying,” you comment after him, still running to meet him at the top.

Yangyang smiles. Yeah, but you love him. He opens the nearest bedroom door, beelining to the bed where he manspreads across the full-sized mattress. You walk into the room quickly after him, turning around to close the door. Your skirt swings chastely around your thighs, and he cannot take his eyes away from it, wishing for you to swing them around his hips.

“Wanna be annoying with me?”

You roll your head, clicking your tongue, after finding him sitting relaxed on the comforter with suggestive eyebrows. “Yeah, I guess.”

Yangyang lifts his arms to catch you when you dive between his shirt, the lower part of your body thrusting on top his as you prowl beside his torso. He leans back, hands anchoring himself to your face. You push him deeper into the mattress, and he feels your nails airily redraw each indent on his carefully contoured abdomen. He smirks, asking if you like what you feel, and tilts his chin up to give you better access to his mouth. You tell him to shut up by biting his lower lip, though you match his expression, shaking your head as you decline into him. Yangyang cannot maintain his position any longer, almost breaking a sweat when you unbuckle his very thin belt and tap into the metal button barely holding his pants together. He whines, briefly breaking the kiss, then he flips you over, bending one of your legs up to fit his in between.

“I don’t want you to just guess,” Yangyang whispers. He slowly retreats his palm from under your shirt to the spot on your stomach where your shirt lifted up; he wants your verbal consent before doing anything else, and he waits for it. The kiss gets longer as you sigh into it, lazily hooking an arm around his neck. So, he stops. And then brushes your hair behind your ear, just hovering over you with tender eyes. “I don’t want you to just guess.”

“I’m not guessing,” you reassure him. You play with his hair, the way he likes, toying the strands on the top of his head then combing through the rest until reaching his neck. He looks at you innocently again, in case you crack. But you don’t. He restarts the kiss, sliding his hand under all the layers covering your torso.

Yangyang helps you out of your shirt, watching the way your chest bounces without support, so he gives you more, adding his lips like a low-set suction. “You’re so pretty,” he confesses, kissing into your sternum after you arch it up at him. And he wants to know your reaction, so as he presses an open mouth kiss into the side of your boob, he looks up at you, your lips parted by a silent moan. “You are so, so pretty like this.”

Unlike you, Yangyang moans audibly.

He feels you curl your fingers into his waistband, touching his tip outside his underwear. With his eyes closed, he drops on his back and feels you move around his lower thighs, teetering above them lightly. You meet him between the velvety sheets, giggling with him as your hair tickles his face. He opens his eyes, combing the loose strands behind your face again, finishing the act of endearment with his knuckles stroking your cheek. Sometimes he lets himself fall into these more romantic displays of affections.

Yangyang grips your ass, under your cheerleading skirt. When he remembers that you have his favorite player’s jersey patched onto your crop top, he pulls his chin up, nipping at your bottom lip. You draw him in further, towering over him until he drags you down with him, mixing between the sheets, laughing again. He really loves hearing your voice, and he loves it even more that he can make you have a fun time, make you grin so vocally during the moments that matter. So, he tries it again, slipping under your underwear too, massaging your skin.

“Mmm,” you moan.

Yangyang feels you slither his shirt off his shoulders, your nails grazing around his biceps as he tilts up to kiss you over and over again. Then, abruptly, you sit back, on your knees, around his hips, alert at attention. The new position allows him to mark your neck, one hand sliding through your waist band, over your ass, to have you grind down on him. His lips nibble at your collarbone, tongue breezing along as he waits for your reaction.

“Wait, wait.”

He stops, looking at you from under his eyelashes. A minute passes, and you don’t give any more restraints, so he resumes taking off your underwear. He keeps the same consistent eye contact because you remain alert above him, but you close your eyes and lean your head closer to him. He pulls his arm completely out of his sleeve so that he can hug you firmly against his body. Your chest grazes his, and he moans.

“Shh,” you silence him, kissing him quiet, hands still on his shoulder, “Do you hear that?”

“No, mm.” Yangyang breaks the kiss. “What are you –“

“Shh!”

You move your hands onto his pectoral muscles, his shirt near completely off his body, as you turn your head at the door. His head stutters in the same direction, stopping every half millisecond to return back to your face and make sure that you are okay. Then, he hears it: Xiaojun stumbling into the walls, jiggling the doorknob.

Yangyang stiffens. “Did you lock the door?”

A bit of light from the hallway cracks into the room, along with intoxicated hushing and giggling.

“Shit, no,” you answer, obviously, then start to pick your clothes off the bed and stand up. After a moment of hesitation, Yangyang follows you, buttoning up the middle of his shirt and meeting you in the center of the room, shielding your exposed chest as you clip on your bra.

Yangyang looks at the door when it creaks louder, eyes caught by a headlight. Before he knows it, you shove him into a closet. Neither of you are getting the opportunity to be annoying together because Xiaojun drunkenly stumbles into your space, moaning after his own date. Yangyang rolls his eyes and feels you slide into his shirt with him, scratching his back with your spangled top. He knows that there is no other option, since you two do not want to expose your relationship, especially like this, but he would rather not ruin his relationship with one of his best friends due to indecency – either of theirs. Thankfully, he gets an out, after Xiaojun hides under the blanket.

When you two make it downstairs, Yangyang bursts into laughter, yours following too until he gives you a long chaste kiss, screening you behind the wall to maintain that secrecy he did not want Xiaojun to break.

Although, Yangyang pulls away, brushing your hair behind your ear again, hand holding your waist to prevent you from leaving. You stare at him, at the domestic moment of tenderness, then fall into his chest again. And that is when he realizes it: he doesn’t really want to be a secret.

#yangyang #wayv #liu yangyang #nct #nct smut #wayv smut #yangyang x reader #yangyang imagines #yangyang fluff #yangyang angst #wayv angst #wayv fluff #wayv imagines #nct fluff #nct angst #nct imagines #/mine

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life-with-my-three · 2 years

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I am so over seeing people make these great big “everyone just needs to show respect for one another” posts on social media.

I agree the world needs a little more kindness, but when the whole point of the post is to vent frustration over everyone wanting to know each other’s vaccination status and how that information is no one’s business, how we should just be hanging out with whoever without first checking vaccination status, it’s driving me to a point where I just hate myself.

Normally I don’t care regarding someone’s medical decisions. Normally I would agree that we shouldn’t be privy to each other’s information. In this case it’s so much easier to make such a judgement when you don’t have someone in a very high risk category, who themselves cannot be vaccinated.

I’m lucky to live where I do. 80% of the population has been vaccinated against covid19 in the eligible age range.

It’s so easy. It’s so easy not to care about other’s vaccination status when you’re not being told from respiratory specialists to be extremely careful with your child. It’s so easy when it’s not your child you’re holding down multiple times a day to give inhalers to, just to try and protect their lungs from simple things like exercise, and pollen in the air. It’s so easy when your child isn’t the one who is being prescribed medicine not on the pbs for kids under 5yo (when they’re only two) because asthma usually isn’t so severe in such a young age, and they haven’t even yet hit the usual asthma age. It’s so easy when their lungs are damaged already, and covid would destroy them completely.

But I feel like a fraud. I believe in kindness to others, but apparently I’m a complete jerk, because I try and make sure those who are around my kids and I are vaccinated, quite plainly for their lives!

You can preach that asking for someone’s vaccination status is an arsehole move. I invite you though to sit through an appointment with one of the top respiratory specialists, at one of the top children’s hospitals in the country, and listen to them tell you that you must take such precautions because your child’s lungs just could not take covid! Because I wish I could be so free about not being bothered. I wish it so badly.

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jennibeultimate · 3 years

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I'm going to assume you stumbled across my breakdown of how this could be possible on reddit and disliked it. I made quite clear how I thought the numbers could add up for him in that post. There are not many men who are logging 95-100 SPs consistently, and with one quad - which seems quite possible - Jason could easily break 100. Jason already also racks up 180 FS - the 180 FS I noted in the post was even with a quad attempt popped to double - which gives him the numbers to compete. 1/2

I will be plain honest here and break some points to you:

No I am not on Reddit and I just read there if someone points me to posts specifically, which happened like two times ever in all my fandom life, but if you want to share your "Jason breakdown" feel free to share. If you have to know it I read it in a reply on Tumblr at another ask and many other times on Twitter...

Jason's SP: Jason scores good in his SP with his triples 96,81 is his PB. That's with almost maximum GOEs and best PCS. A skater like Misha Kolyada, Shoma Uno, Yuzuru Hanyu, Nathan Chen all score 92/93+ with a big mistake. So for him he needs to be picture perfect to come close and those above mentioned skaters + Yuma Kagiyama all have scored 100+ if clean. Means to be in contention after the SP he would need at least 5 skaters to falter in the SP. He cannot be in the Top 5 on his own terms, he needs to rely on mistakes of the other 5 + skaters like Kevin Aymoz and Keegan Messing, who also score in the 93+ range. I see 1-3 skaters falter, but all? I just simply hope that's not the case as I am always for a good competition with good performances. Assuming Jason adds a quad to his SP that increases his BV by 4,2 points with a 4T or 4,6 with a 4S - so breaking 100 in the SP is possible, but a big fat question mark. Will he risk it? What for? For 4 more points? A risky quad which possibly results into a fall or UR or bad landing? Why risk it if you get 90+ without it. In all other skater cases I would say "go for the quad" with Jason's sky high GOEs he doesn't need it and his quad probably won't even gain more GOEs than his 3F, so a quad would only add BV. And frankly you can't win a competition with the SP, but you can lose it.

180 points is his personal BEST score (with Nathan absent btw - yes politically it makes a difference). Not a given. Here is a list of his free skate scores in the past two season including Nats...I think they speak for themselves.

Assuming he adds a quad and lands it cleanly that would add about 10-12 points. Well 190 is a super good score, but only 4 skaters ever have scored 190+ (Nathan Chen, Yuzuru Hanyu, Vincent Zhou and Shoma Uno - all with multiple quads btw) To put it plainly it isn't impossible but unlikely for Jason to get 190 in the free skate.

Will Jason have a quad? I'd say his chances are better than they were the last years. He had a good attempt at Worlds 2021. I am sure he will go for at least one quad. But not to diminish his tries I just don't look at what is possible, but at what the skater actually did show in competition already. Look we can predict that Nathan will go for multiple quads and land at least 4/5 quads and that is super likely, can we assume the same about Jason's quad? I don't think so. I predict based on what the skater currently really has in store, not what is possible. (Hey I can predict Shoma lands a 5 quad program with a 3A4T at the Olympics - is it possible? Yeah why not he did 3A4T in training, he had landed 5 quads in comp once, so sure thing it's possible, is it likely? I wish 😅)

I agree on this much as all medal contenders (barring Nathan probably) are all headcases. But Jason is a headcase himself. So what's your point exactly that the others will all falter and Jason not? I mean that would mean a complete meltdown for 5-6 top skaters. Is that what you want for Jason to medal? I hope that's not what anyone wants for the Olympic competition.

Let's talk about Jason's weakness compared to the other medal contenders: 1. The 3A itself is a problem. He often messes up his 3A. He often either pops it or URs it. It's not stable. No stable quad, no stable 3A - that's a big disadvantage. 2. His BV is much lower than those of the other contenders, means he has to be perfect to score well, while someone like Shoma and Misha can score the same with mistakes.

As you brought up the 2018 Worlds FS again. You know that the last group all imploded. A cursed ice lead to everyone beside Nathan in the last group to perform badly. Shoma placed 2nd with 3 falls, Kolyada got Bronze with 2 falls and why was that? because they had quads! If I learned one thing from that free skate, if one starts to falter, others follow. So what makes you sure Jason will be the one not faltering?

One thing I do not agree is Jason being the finest PCS skater. I beg your pardon Jason is a good PCS skater, but Yuzuru Hanyu is much better. I could name others who are at least on the same level, but i don't want to start other discussions. Look if Jason wouldn't be from the US he wouldn't even receive those PCS and that's all I am saying and it's the truth, not a myth.

I wouldn't mind Jason winning an Olympic medal, but for this to happen we would need all inconsistent men to be inconsistent as hell. And this I don't want to happen. It is possible for Jason to win a medal, but at what cost? I wouldn't ever say anything is impossible, ice is slippery, it's just unlikely. (Nathan could also not even medal, it's possible but unlikely.)

I don't like basing predictions on other skaters faltering. I predict based with good skates, that you can actually calculate on base values and GOEs and not on who may fall how many times. Jason can't win a medal with his own abilities, Nathan Chen and Yuzuru Hanyu can definitely win a medal and at least Mikhail Kolyada, Shoma Uno and Yuma Kagiyama can also win with their own abilities. The other contenders would also need a bit of luck and mishaps of the others.

I can and probably will do a full base value calculation but I already spend enough time on this post, so I put that to a later day.

Also guys it's so early in the season, I know I have started the topic myself, but anything can happen in the season. There is also the possibility some of the medal contenders don't make the team, get injured or suddenly show up with new quads and unknown consistency, who knows. We will see many predictions in the next months, but if I learned one thing, the Olympics are a different beast and miracles do happen. Results seldomly turn out like they are predicted. (Hello Yuzu's 2nd Olympic Gold wasn't predicted "no one wins the Olympics twice!" Yes he did!)

So I am not sorry for writing this, but I am sorry it got so long. You deserve a virtual cookie😅

#jason brown #replies #figure skating

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mhdiaries · 4 years

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13 Wishes Twyla Diary

The Sixth of September

When you spend your unlife living in the shadows you get used to seeing things that are missed and missing things that are seen. Lately though, I feel like I’m missing more than I’m seeing, like today, for instance. There is a little garden cemetery not far from Monster High where I like to go and contemplate the simple joys of monsterhood. It has a little fountain with a park bench and a simply ginormous creeping willow tree. It’s like a giant umbrella that casts the most amazing shadows. Most of the time I am the only monster there except on Wednesday when a group of troll ladies show up to play bridge. Anyway, I was sitting in my usual spot today with my back to the tree facing away from the fountain. I heard footsteps and voices approaching. I thought it was probably some monsters coming to pay their ghast respects and I didn’t want to disturb them, so I just sat still. If I am in the shadows and I do not move or open my eyes I cannot be seen. As the footsteps got closer I recognized the voices - it was Lagoona and Gil. They were arguing about something and they stopped right next to the fountain. Now I could have just stepped from the shadow I was in to a shadow somewhere else, but I didn’t. I stayed because I’m a bad monster. I am not going to write down what they said though, because if some other monster ever reads this it’d be like betraying a trust. But I was sad the rest of the day over what I heard. They are both so sweet and make such a great couple that I had no idea they were facing such outside pressure on their relationship. I guess I was looking but not seeing. I really wish they could get this problem resolved, but some things can’t be wished away, only worked through. Eventually Gil left, but Lagoona stayed a little bit longer. She sat for a while, and I could hear her crying. I guess at that point I wanted so much to just run over and hug her, but I couldn’t. I know, I know, I’m a terrible monster, but I didn’t know what to do. That’s not true, I mean the terrible monster part is, but I should have just gone over and given her a hug...epic fail. I waited a bit after Lagoona left and then I left too.

The Tenth of September

Being able to jump from one shadow to another without having to step into the light means that I can avoid talking to other monsters if I don’t want. It’s not that I don’t like other monsters, but I feel kind of awkward sometimes, like maybe I’ll say or do something wrong and embarrass myself. I remember I’d been at MH for a while but I hadn’t really made any friends. Not because the other students hadn’t been nice to me, they were, I just always sort of disappeared before I let them get too close. I remember the day that I got cornered, literally. I was sitting by myself in the very back corner of the creepateria at a table underneath a burned out light that was casting a nice big shadow. I was just eating my lunch and watching when Howleen started walking my way. I sat still knowing that she wouldn’t be able to see me but I didn’t want to leave either cause I was hungry. So she came over and sat right down across from me. She sniffed a couple times and said, “PB&J?” “Eww cam seef me?” I answered with a mouth full of sandwich. “Nah, but I can smell you.” “Nobway!” “Of course I can, I’m a werewolf, and the nose knows. You smell like dust and strawscarry jam.” I started to excuse myself, but Howleen asked me not to, “I really don’t feel like eating lunch by myself - would you mind hanging out?” So I didn’t disappear, I stayed and I made a friend for unlife plus I didn’t embarrass myself even once. #WinWin

The First of October

Usually Dustin meets me at the door when I get home from school, but he wasn’t waiting for me today. I called for him but he didn’t come. I checked all his usual hiding places: under the bed, behind the doors, in all the corners, but he was nowhere to be found. I started to get worried. I even went outside to look, although he hasn’t been out on his own since the day a big wind flew him into the blackscary brambles. I went back inside and was just about to start making lost posters to hand out around the neighborhood when I heard thump scratch - thump scratch - thump scratch. I looked up and there was Dustin, covered in glitter, double stick tape and beads. He had taken a nap in my craft box, and the end from a roll of necklace wire had wrapped around his foot while the spool had gotten stuck in the box. I would have taken a picture with my iCoffin, but he just looked so pitiful. It took me two hours to get him all cleaned up. I’ll have to save dryer lint for a week to patch all the bare places.

The Fifteenth of October

I went to Howleen’s house for a sleep over. It was cool getting to know her family. I mean I’d seen Clawd and Clawdeen around school, but this was the first time I really officially met them. I wish now I hadn’t waited so long because I feel like I missed out on some good times being so shy. I also got to meet another one of Howleen’s sisters. Her name is Clawdia and she’s going to college in Londoom. She actually wasn’t “there” so we talked to her online with video chat. She is studying to be a writer. She’s really funny and she had everybody in the house cracking up about what it’s like living in Londoom. Clawdeen left and went to fang out with Draculara and Frankie at Frankie’s house, so Howleen and I stayed up late talking. We’ve got like tons in common, we like the same TV shows, the same music - Catty Noir ‘natch, the same kind of styles and we even think the same boys are cute. The one thing that we don’t see eye to eye on is the need to be popular. I don’t care if I am and Howleen feels like is she isn’t she’ll disappear in the shadows of her older siblings. I told her that living in the shadows wasn’t all that bad, but she was totally focused on being in the spotlight. Eventually though she got out of her funk, and we spent the rest of the night watching movies. We had a scary cool time, and I can’t remember when I have ever laughed so hard. When Howleen fell asleep I snuck out and grabbed a late nightmare snack. I got back before morning and woke up to the smell of banana scary pancakes and bacon coming from the Wolf’s kitchen. So much fun and so happy to have a friend! Maybe I’ll try and spend a little more time out of the shadows from now on...maybe.

The Twenty-fifth of October

Most monsters stay away from normies as much as they can, my family not so much. We have what my dad calls a “symbiotic relationship” with normies, only they don’t know it. They think the Boogeyman hangs out under beds and in their closets to scare them, but that’s not it at all. We are “dream eaters” -- well, nightmare eaters, actually. We hide in the shadows and watch for them; then when we see one we pounce! It’s why our eyes glow in the dark so we can see the dreams. Of course we can’t see what’s in the dreams, we recognize them by color. Yellow for happiness, red for action, blue for flying, green for fantasy and lots of in between colors and shades that mix different kind of dreams together. Nightmares are the color of storm clouds, all grey-black and menacing. I only wish my dreams could be pounced on, too, but it doesn’t work that way for us. I dreamed a dream last night that I was on a frightly lit stage in front of the whole school. I was supposed to give a speech and I forgot the topic, so I just stood there looking for a shadow to hide, but there weren’t any. Then every monster started laughing at me. I turned to run and tripped off the stage, which was suddenly at the top of a very tall tower and I was falling an falling and falling. Then I was back on the stage again, and every monster in the audience was giving me a standing ovation. I looked behind me, and there were a panel of judges holding up scorecards.

9.5 9.5 10.0 9.5 4.0

So I started arguing with the judge who gave me the 4.0 and she told me that I flapped my arms too much as I was falling. Then I woke up. I told my dad about it, and he said it was probably just something I ate. Dads are so weird.

The Twenty-eighth of October

Howleen is not enjoying her popularity as much as she thought she would, and there are shadows in places where they should not be. I am worried, and no monster seems to be listening to me. I must find a monster that will.

#monster high #monster high diary #twyla #13 wishes

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embeanwrites · 4 years

Text

Finding Home Gavin Reed x Reader

Chapter 15

Masterlist

Connor had driven me home after we finished the movie and now, I was laying in bed looking at my phone. I decided to send Gavin a text before heading to bed.

How’s burning the midnight oil with Nines?

lame, i wish i was with my cats

Me too lol

how was dinner

Pretty good, we watched Into the Spider-Verse after. Connor had never seen it!

i haven’t either

You’re joking, right? Is this the Jameson and Ginger Ale thing again?

i barely have time for new movies, let alone old ones

We’re watching it ASAP

lol ok pipsqueak

hey i have bad news

Damn, you couldn’t secure a place for the Dead Mom Society to meet? Or is the bakery out of chocolate chip cookies?

no i have to work through lunch on monday

What are you going to have for lunch then?

idk a pb&j from the breakroom

Would it ruin your “working through lunch” if I brought you lunch and we eat it in the breakroom?

nines wont be too happy

Tell him it’s revenge for lying and setting us up!

ok ill work on him and let u know

Awesome! Good luck saving the city tonight, Batman!

ur the biggest nerd ive ever met

yet for some reason i like u

Awwwwww you like me

…hm

Yeah, yeah I like you too

I gotta go to bed, talk to you later

Sleep tight, pipsqueak

I smiled at the screen for a moment, even if that nickname was rude and had started as an insult, it was his thing for me now. I'm an adult woman. A nickname shouldn't make me feel this giddy, but here I am, grinning at a now black phone screen, thinking about how he only grins and never smiles and how handsome it is when half his face scrunches up to accommodate those grins. I wonder if he's grinning now, a small one at his desk, maybe into a cup of coffee to hide it while he returns to his case files. I hope he's grinning, feeling like a stupid teenager. I hope he likes me as much as I'm starting to like him. I fell asleep soon after, thinking of what I should bring him for lunch, trying to guess what would surprise him most without being too flashy, what I could do to make him grin for me again.

I woke up the next morning around 10 am, and laid in bed for a moment questioning how necessary it was for me to get out of this nice warm cocoon of blankets, with the sunlight streaming in gently just out of my eyes, and sighed loudly when I remembered that it was indeed necessary that I get out of bed, as Tina would be here to pick me up at 11:30. I kicked the covers off, grabbing my phone off the charger and moving to sit on the edge of the bed to check it before truly getting up. The first notification was a text from Gavin, sent around 5 a.m.

u can come on monday probs around 11 bring whatever im not picky

Will do, Batman!

I turned on a throwback playlist while I got ready, a quick shower where I debated too long over shaving my legs before I actually did so, thinking about how Tina might have me try on a suit or dress for the wedding. I hadn't decided what I wanted to go for yet, hence the indecisiveness with the razor. Eventually I bit the bullet and just took the extra five minutes to shave just to the tops of my knees, not bothering with my thighs as I highly doubted I'd be wearing a mini dress to a formal event, though it might be fun to see how Gavin would react to more revealing clothes. I filed the thought away while I got out of the shower, toweling off and tying the towel around my hair and brushing my teeth. By the time I had thrown on a pair of well loved jeans and a plain tee, Tina was calling me, I answered and before I could even put the phone to my ear, I could hear music blaring in the background, and then Tina screamed "HERE BITCH!" and promptly hung up. I pocketed the phone, and hurried looking for my Birkenstocks, of course they weren't by the door, they were in front of the fridge, where I had stopped last night upon arriving home to grab some food before heading to bed. I slid the sandals on, stopping for a moment to grab two packets of the applesauce squeezies for a quick breakfast.

By the time I got to the car, Tina was listening to a different song, but the volume was the same, I'm sure my poor neighbors who were trying to sleep in on a Sunday morning were not very pleased. I opened the door and slid in, Tina turned the volume down. What a shame, she had excellent taste in music, ‘Do I Wanna Know?’ by Arctic Monkeys isn't a song you just turn down!

"Took you long enough!" She laughed, a smile stretching across her face.

"Shut up I couldn't find my shoes!" I shouted, holding up my feet and wiggling my toes in the most comfortable pair of shoes ever made. She looked at my feet and raised her eyebrows, snorting.

"Jesus Christ I’m a lesbian and I still wouldn’t wear those ugly ass shoes, (Y/n)!” I gasped and smacked her arm.

“You’re disrespecting your culture!” I shouted, as the car silently started and began to pull out into the street, heading towards the dress store. Tina just giggled and I huffed.

“For that, I’m not giving you the applesauce I brought for you.” I tore open the packets, double fisting them and squeezing all their contents into my mouth. Tina howled with laughter

“What are you, fucking two years old! I cannot believe you!”

“You’re just jealous that you aren’t as stylish as me and now I’ve had a healthy breakfast which I assume you didn’t as you were at the station all night. I was going to be a good, kind, maid of honor and offer you sustenance but if you disrespect the birks, you disrespect me.” I joked, crossing my arms and looking out the windshield past her.

“Oh my god my maid of honor is two years old!!”

“Hey! That’s uncalled for, I’m not a toddler, if anything I’m like a seven year old, I make sense but just barely.” I joked. She laughed and nodded.

“Still can’t buy booze.”

“That’s why there are other best people who are of age who can.”

There was a natural pause in the conversation, the song changed and we both listened for a moment before Tina turned to me, a devilish grin on her face making me nervous.

“What?”

“So, I noticed something strange at work last night.”

“Yeah, what did you notice?” I laughed.

“A certain someone kept texting on their phone and smiling AND Nines wasn’t giving them a hard time for being on their phone.” She smirked. “I thought the date went bad?”

“How do you even know it was me, future Detective Chen?”

“Well, I may have glanced over his shoulder at some point and saw your name.” I laughed.

“Tina! I was going to tell you. You didn’t have to spy on Gavin!” She laughed.

“It was the heat of the moment. I promise the next time I spy on him I won’t tell you.” I shoved her shoulder and we both laughed.

“Man, I’ve missed you.”

“I’ve missed you too.” The automatic car pulled into the bridal shop and we both squealed, jumping out of the car and practically running inside.

"I win." Tina said smugly as she crossed the threshold of the store before me.

"Hey who's the kid now!"

Time went by fast in the shop, the consultants immediately brought us back to a sitting area, offering us complimentary champagne that we happily took. Our consultant, a happy-go-lucky android named Lance, brought out a selection of pantsuits for Tina to try, and offered excellent counsel on all of Tina's concerns. She wanted something elegant and more masculine. She tried a couple things before deciding pinstripe made her feel like a mobster and that white was definitely not her color. Lance was always smiling and laughing with them, not minding at all when they laughed at one of the options or didn't like what he had brought for her. He was very efficient in bringing options, and after three 'no's' he brought out a selection of black jackets and pants, assisting her in a pair of slim fit high waisted slacks with a center vertical pleat to help her look taller, a simple white dress shirt with a short popped collar, and a sleek black satin jacket, with a black lining. The fabric shone nicely in the light, a little bit of a sparkle in the thread. She looked gorgeous, and I could tell she felt it too, the way her eyes shone a bit, and her cheeks flushed, though she would probably blame that on the champagne if I brought it up later.

“You should try on some bridesmaids’ dresses. I’ve got my suit and now I want to judge others!” Tina plopped down on the couch next to me and took my champagne from me.

"You haven't even decided on the style you want! Are you matching both bridal parties? Doesn't Valerie have a say in it then!" I squawked, reaching for the champagne flute she'd stolen from me.

"We actually have talked about it, and we decided that as long as everyone has blush pink or yellow in their outfit, whatever style they want is best. It eliminates the drama and keeps our wedding day happy." Tina said, tipping her head back and downing my champagne in one big gulp. I smacked her arm.

"Ah, I'd be happy to help you find a dress Miss. (L/N)." Lance offered, moving to sit next to me and offered out his hand, images of dresses popping up on his hand.

"What are you thinking Miss (L/N)? Would you prefer the blush tone or yellow?" Lance asked, looking at my face instead of his hand.

"Ah, blush please." I requested.

"Not a problem, it's a popular color so we have a lot of options. Now, what style cut do you like?" I looked at him like a fish out of water.

"I'm not sure, what do you think would look best, Lance?" He smiled, before pulling up a couple of images on his hand and explaining the styles and what design choices would flatter my features. I nodded, and he guided me back to the dressing room.

"I'm going to run and grab some of the options we discussed Miss. (L/N)." He told me, before shutting the door. He knocked when he returned about five minutes later, hanging six dresses on the wall for me. "When you're ready, join us in the showing room, and we can adjust the fit and see what the bride thinks." He told me. I shouted 'Thanks!' through the door before turning to decide which dress I wanted to try first.

“Wow.” I murmured looking at myself in the mirror. From the tag on the dress I learned it’s a ‘long chiffon dress with halter neckline.’ I didn’t really understand what any of those words meant, but this dress was…amazing. It made me feel like a goddamn princess.

“What’s taking so long!” I heard Tina shout.

“Give me a minute, you drunk!” I walked out of the dressing room, towards where Tina was sitting.

“Holy shit.” I laughed and spun around.

“It’s pretty good, right?” She got up and walked towards me.

“You’re getting this one. No question. I’m not letting you leave without it!”

“Are you sure? I can try a light-yellow dress if you want.”

“No, this one is perfect.” She smashed her cheek on mine and we both looked at ourselves in the mirror. I was smiling so wide my face was starting to hurt. She quickly grabbed her phone and snapped a picture of us, and I laughed.

“Tina!”

“What! I want to remember this moment.” She kissed my cheek. “I can’t wait to come back here with you when Gavin proposes.” She teased, causing you to laugh.

“We’ve gone on one date! How much champagne have you had?” She shook her head.

“Just three glasses, I’m drunk on happiness! Come on, change back and buy that dress!” I laughed and walked back to the changing room. I picked up my phone and saw Tina had sent me the picture already. Smiling, I sent the picture to my dad.

Got my dress for the wedding!

Beautiful kiddo!

#gavin reed x reader #gavin reed #detroit become human #tina chen #dbh #hank anderson #x reader

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andi-justplays · 4 years

Text

Onto The Royal Masquerade next on the lost of books I can now catch up to because of VIP and I. cannot. believe. it’s. also. a. STANDALONE. This book had me holding my breath the whole time I was reading it! I loved the conflicts, the twists and literally everything about it.

Hmm I try to write about the books as non-spoilery as possible since there might be others like me who are still just catching up, but I can’t help but talk about it here so SPOILER WARNING!

I must admit, Renza was such a good villain of the story (Although I had a sneaking suspicion when she gave us our favorite drink far too often. I was still surprised but it definitely gave me enough of a bad feeling) also I love how they wrote someone as despicable as Cyrus. As someone who enjoys proper characterization very much, I enjoy it when I’m truly invested in feeling hate or annoyance or frustration at a character because it means they were written well. Speaking of characterization, my MC from House Everhart, was a very loving and noble character which is why I chose things that do not directly benefit herself for the hard choices like Marrying her sister away or letting Hunter take the blame for releasing Kayden. In the end I chose her to rule alongside Fabian as Queen, and I thought about it and I think it would still fit within the narrative because she didn’t choose a life of comfort of being with Hunter (Asian/Male Hunter is my LI for this) because honestly she can’t just leave Fabian to do everything when she literally just thrust a whole kingdom onto him in one day. (Speaking of Fabian, I kinda wished they linked our selection from TRR on which his face is gonna be because I never ever picked White Liam lol)

I think the only selfish (if you could even call it that) choice I made for her was choosing not to accept her mother because I just couldn’t believe this woman already decided the fate of two children who never asked for any of this in the first place. She consciously gave her daughter away, and though it was for a good cause (she wanted her daughter to be raised in a better environment) she did it at the cost of another baby’s future. She punished the child for the mistakes his father made before him, things he never had a hand in himself. To top it all off, she deprived a woman of her son on purpose. It’s just so twisted to me. Also I honestly thought Vasco was her father lol.

Other things about it I would have wanted more answers to was, WHO THE FUCK WAS THE ASSASSIN?? I don’t think there ever was a proper answer?? And the fact that they highlighted his super strong armor at the end, but they never really explained why the armor was so strong and not like other armor? Also I’m surprised at how unguarded a lot of these places are. Specifically at the Nevrakises’ part if you decided to buy the scene where you sneak in to dig some dirt on Theodosia? I get how Kayden can sneak in but MC and Hunter?? Hunter maybe 50/50 but seriously?? Also wasn’t there something about Renza hinting towards another Noble house?? in a diamond scene in her chamber of desires. Or did I just misunderstand that part? Also why did Kayden’s power only get an aftermath?? like??

Oh! also I know it’s PB’s specialty to make puns on their notification thingies of accomplishments or failures that appear at the top of the screen and I loved that one we got from Theodosia (after using a skeleton key to look in Cyrus’ chamber of desires) was “What to say to you” I’ve been on a Hamilton high for weeks now and the songs are still in my head and I love “Dear Theodosia” so much so I appreciated this one lol.

TL;DR - I LOVE THIS BOOK IT STILL HAS SO MUCH POTENTIAL!

#playchoices #the royal masquerade

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rinrenrina · 4 years

Video

youtube

Protests and social movements: local news media and you.

This Patriot Act video by Hasan Minhaj is about how important local news is to covering what affects us, especially in light of BLM and antifa protests. Local news media are compiling lists of Black-owned businesses, protest groups that need support, community resources, and documenting/recording perspectives and events. It's also local news media that are breaking stories of national importance like Epstein.

First, a timely article about the Seattle autonomous zone/CHAZ that’s an exact example of what’s going on in the video: local Seattle Times journalists did original reporting [link] and fact-checked some claims (yes, it’s peaceful; no, crimes are not happening; no, local businesses are not being extorted and in fact are doing well; yes, the mayor and governor told Trump to shut up) along with USA Today, which picked up ST’s reporting and added more information [link]. And here’s more original local reporting about armed right-wing groups being dangerous and obnoxious because they boogeyman antifa: [link]. Industry callouts on Fox News for creating and publishing doctored images of CHAZ, which is as ridiculous as it sounds [link].

Ridiculous.

To the point, the video had me thinking about the widespread "Why isn't the media talking about this" or "What the media won't show" messaging that's in nearly every high-note protest/BLM Twitter thread or Tumblr post I’ve seen that are not only often false (Yes, local and national news organizations are reporting that protesters are peaceful [link], cops are abusive+lying to everyone about the content of their body cams [link], and communities are creating resource and hydration centers [link]. No, news media will not ignore you if you keep protesting - the video in this post [link] is from NBC.), but show how much of an information bubble some people live in.

Remember, these are your news orgs, not a government's news orgs. Everyday people are the voices in an article, especially in local and community news.

The same popular posts I see about not trusting Democrats/Biden/liberalism and incrementalism are voiced by several knowledgeable activists in this article, New generation of activists, deeply skeptical of Democratic Party, resists calls to channel energy into the 2020 campaign [WP link | non-paywall MSN link] by Cleve Wootson Jr. [link].

Some pull quotes (but you should check out the article):

“Some people are like I’m . . . done accepting what the Democratic Party has offered us. It’s not getting better,” said Keene, 37. “This current moment is a reflection of the United States’ inability to meet any of the demands black people have put forward. I wish they would stop holding black people responsible for the failures of the Democratic Party. Why aren’t y’all responsible for not giving us a candidate worth voting for?”

Malcolm X warned people that neither Democrats nor Republicans had adequate plans to help black Americans in his “Ballot or the Bullet” speech. And Martin Luther King Jr. called on his followers to not accept political stalling.

“It’s always come down to the question of time,” Delmont said. “Dr. King had so many great sermons or speeches about time and how that group of activists just could not wait. People feel the same way today. You can’t wait for Biden to get elected. You can’t wait four years. We can’t wait on politicians if we want to see these things change.”

These are the same ideas that have floated through the blogosphere, especially here on Tumblr.

That isn't to be an idealist though. There's a lot to complain about in US journalism. At the top editor positions, it's highly staffed by white people, men, cishets, and those with privileged backgrounds. All journalists use news judgement (PBS has information on what news judgement is here: [link]), which in front page design aims to showcase what’s important to know in terms of impact, but deciding "what's important/what will people read" when the decision-making team is homogeneous and privileged leaves valuable voices unheard, entire life experiences unaddressed, and harms marginalized groups.

This is something recognized among journalists: The Inquirer's POC staff had a sick-out and open letter about a now-fired top editor's news article that insensitively riffed on BLM [link], NYT staff and union came out against the now-demoted opinion editor’s publishing of an opinion piece by the Arkansas governor that called for violence against protesters [link], Post-Gazette was publicly criticized by staff, union, and the public when management barred a Black journalist from reporting on protests because she joked about anti-protester hypocrisy [link].

There's a lot of criticism to be had about US journalism, but the "Why isn't the media talking about this" or "What the media won't show" messaging I'm seeing on Tumblr and Twitter is inaccurate because the very things people are saying are not being reported actually are being reported. It's coming from a place of not having the methods to access this information - maybe it’s not visiting non-social media sites to receive the news that affect and reflect you, not understanding that articles of quality take time, not knowing that you can reach out to news orgs and tell them what the news is, and/or not knowing how overwhelmed/source competitive news organizations are.

A read more to not dash stretch. Under the read more is information on how to escape the “Why isn’t the media reporting”/”Why am I only just hearing” information bubble (visit a news site), why the news takes days to be good (imagine writing an original research essay), and tips on avoiding paywalls and on basic journalism.

Receiving the news that affect and reflect you

There's a significant difference between the news you will see on a social media feed (even if you do follow news orgs) and the news you will see by going to any news website. I can write more about it later, but the tl;dr is that the news you see on a social media feed is decided entirely by algorithms, money, and community bubbles, which isn't evil, but causes other important news to be buried on your feeds. Social media are great for fast news and no longer letting only a select few people, who cannot reflect the need-to-knows of everyone, decide what's important. And to better avoid the information bubble, you can combine your social media feeds with news websites so that you can better avoid the "Why am I only just hearing about this" phenomenon and see that yes, the thing you said was never reported on, probably was reported. Yes, the front page curation won’t reflect the need-to-knows or even nice-to-knows of everyone, but the information available is still valuable and impactful - I saw the article on armed right-wingers holding an anti-antifa block party by visiting Seattle Times, Wootson’s article from MSN, the article on cops lying on documents about their body cam recordings from CNN’s front page. By visiting news websites, you may find information and topics that never landed on your feed - which you can now introduce to and improve your social circles with.

Articles of quality take time, aka "People wanted the news five minutes ago"

There's a few tweet threads where someone is shooting video of a currently developing situation, with a caption akin to "Why isn't the media talking about this" ...even though this is something that is currently happening, so of course no one has sat down and made the article or video segment. Especially if they’re waiting on comment from city officials. Tweets are a fast, immediate information delivery method and this is where protesters have an advantage. If you had checked YouTube's front page from the US the past weeks, you may have noticed that the news video article/news livestream section took about two days from the start of the protests to say that the protesters are peaceful and that it's the police that are violent. It's extremely slow compared to a protester's tweet. If you combine the speediness of a protester's tweet with the context/backstory/statement from officials in a news article, your knowledge of what's happening is more thorough. The news article takes time to come out and be worth reading, though.

(Related to the topic of speed and quality is the Mueller Report. It's 450 pages, yet news orgs were writing about it on day one. It was all junk because they were reading from the Trump CliffsNotes in the rush to meet the people-want-to-know-yesterday/first scoop demands so the articles worth any time only started coming out a week after the Report's release. News orgs admitted to their initial reporting being garbage and being led on, but by then readers who don't look at news websites had moved on. The same goes for any protest or breaking news coverage: it's usually junk for the first few days. Sometimes subverted by local news orgs due to their proximity to the events.)

Reach out to news orgs

There's important ground information coming from protesters and observers - first-hand experience with police brutality, police militarization, and just how tired Black Americans are of having to protest for their lives. Among this info are communities' food and hydration resources, example here [link].

"What the media won't show." "These stories need to be told."

Two things that go well together by remembering to tell your local news organizations. And if they show up (you might get the reporting from a desk treatment: adapting a press release (which btw, nonprofits and non-organized groups can write and submit too) to an article), you have their ear: tell them your message. Something every journalist has heard? "Your article is only as good as its sources." You can be the reason that article and news org are good.

The above mostly applies for when you don't want to be a press worker. But another angle is to be your own community's source of news and watchdog. You have access to the exact same information a news organization is privy to (FOIA and PRA), the same protective laws (shield laws, the First Amendment guarantees the right for journalists to work), and being a writer is free to learn and easy to do especially in the time of free blogging and content hosting. As this NPR post [link] put it:

I think I can say that I have some professional credibility as a journalist. I have a master’s degree from a major university, a national Emmy award, work in all forms of media, and am in charge of journalism at Wayne State University in Detroit.

Yet legally, I have the same standing as a journalist as a high school dropout who writes a blog in his grandmother’s basement, and that is exactly the way it is supposed to be.

And if you do start your own community news source, forward the articles you publish to the wider-area news orgs above you. Tying it back to the video: this is how the news works - local news media are important to national discourse.

Here’s some other things that can hopefully be helpful to understanding the essential field that is journalism:

- If you're being paywalled by a local or national newspaper or by a magazine you want to read, check if your library (or a friend who will let you use their library card) already pays for online access either through a website or through an app like Flipster. Or, search the title of the article and see if an another site (such as MSN) offers it free. - Tips: You only need to read the first two-three paragraphs of a news article, but it helps to read the rest. How and when to be an anonymous or on-background source: when you have information no one else has and/or you would face retaliation for speaking. More here: [link]. What differentiates an opinion from an editorial: editorials are the opinion of the editorial board, opinions are written by columnists, officials, and readers. Figure out what type of article you like better: inverted pyramid favors quick reporting (minutes to hours) and fewer facts, feature style favors long-term reporting (weeks to months) and more research, details, and human-focused anecdotes/testimony.

To nitpick the video: local and national broadcast news has more than what’s on TV, they also have a robust web article and web video article presence. For example, NBC’s article about BLM NY members’ and other activist groups in NY’s social justice and policy goals (and an app that creates digital models of Black and brown heroes of history to educate!). [NBC link | MSN link]

#blm #black lives matter #seattle autonomous zone #patriot act #journalism #chaz #'the news doesnt cover protests anymore': consider that your social media feeds arent enough #its true of youtubes featured news section (all corona) for me #but its 90-10 where 90% of front page coverage is protests and social justice and black art on local news sites msn wp nyt and even fox

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hellospunkiebrewster · 4 years

Note

First fight ernest x emmeline????

So it is 100% about Percival. I really struggle with PB’s use of the secret child being the actual secret child of Richards and Roselyn. Literally, this child could’ve been something Gideon made up after he learned of Tristan’s affair and Roselyn Sinclaire’s pregnancy and death. He could’ve searched for a close enough aged child in an orphanage in France and sculpted the narrative from there. That Ernest told no one of the child and shipped him to France to live with Roselyn’s family. That this random French child was the heir to Karlington. This was possible and believable. After all, do we really think Gideon Payne, revolutionist extraordinaire, would trust Tristan Richards any further than he could throw him?

Tristan Richards should’ve literally just been a plan to get back to England and back in the ton’s social circle. He would’ve kept the child secret to be revealed once Richards worn out his use.

I will always struggle with PB’s decision to have Ernest keep Percival a secret until you are quite literally only several weeks from marrying him. Ernest Sinclaire is supposed to be sincere and this move is anything but. Sure, perhaps if he wasn’t an LI this move makes sense because he owes MC nothing as they aren’t in a relationship outside of frequenting the same circles. The move is entirely out of character for an Ernest Sinclaire who is engaged to the MC.

Anyhow, enough of my griping, here’s a little drabble about it.

Ernest Sinclaire knows he made a grave mistake the very instant that Emmeline’s face snaps away from him, downcast and to the side. The bit of her cheek closest to her mouth pulls inward, between her teeth and her nostrils flare with a deep, shuddering inhale. The Countess pushes the tidal surge of emotion threatening to crash from her down. Though she can feel the painful prick of tears on her eyes, she remains steady, unmoved, for a moment as she allows the completely unbelievable truth to seep into her mind and take hold.

Ernest can see a movement lower along her body, her hands clenching into fists or her chest heaving in emotion perhaps, but he cannot look away from her eyes. The instant the words left his lips something changed behind them.

Once dark orbs that held a fire that the country squire enjoyed toying with, the radiance in her gaze shifts to something dangerous and out of control. Emmeline takes one step back from him, then another, before she turns away entirely. Her head shakes from side to side, again and again, as though she cannot reconcile the words she just heard with what she knew about the man she was to marry.

Her clenched hands disappear from Ernest Sinclaire’s view and he can only assume she’d crossed her arms as she begins pacing. She finally speaks and it causes Ernest to release a breath he hadn’t realized he was holding.

Her voice is quiet at first, hurt and wounded. “This entire time... you withheld this information from me.” Emmeline takes another deep breath and when she exhales partially she hugs her arms tighter to her ribcage. In a singular explosive flash, her face, once holding an injured soft brow, contorts and hardens. Her next words are louder and the fire Ernest had grown fond of blazed to an inferno and she meets his eyes for the first time since he’d confessed to her.

“How am I meant to trust you after you hid such a thing?”

Ernest’s insides twist into a knot worse than the one he’d been living with since Gideon Payne showed his face once again under the guise of Comte Renard. He looks down at his hands, wringing and writhing over one another, and he cannot bring himself to meet Emmeline’s gaze again.

“I will understand if you can’t.” He weighs his next words in his mind first before they cross over his tongue. “But, I do hope you know that I remain faithfully behind you, as always.”

Emmeline’s brow softens a nearly imperceptible amount when Ernest finishes, though she still appears more angry than comforted. Her voice wavers, tiptoeing along the paper’s edge of her emotion, when she is able to speak again.

“And I, you. Surely you realize it has always been so for me.”

Ernest massages the fingers of his left hand on his temple and back, his finger tips disappearing into his hair. “This I know, but it never seemed relevant, and I suppose I wished to bury the past and move on.”

In her tepid partial forgiveness, Emmeline had released the inside of her cheek from between her teeth, but as Ernest speaks she starts to chew at it once more. There’s a faint metallic taste there, though she feels nothing. “You honestly cannot believe that this information was never potentially useful before.” Her chest swells and instead of completing her though, she watches Ernest intently and he has no words.

“I have no secrets from you.” Emmeline’s voice cracks.

He feels utterly scrutinized under her gaze. Though he’d attended a top boarding school after his parents’ deaths and a couple years at Oxford before he was entirely prepared to take over as the young Master of Ledford, he felt an idiot at this moment.

Emmeline huffs, her eyes still not wavering from Ernest. “Quite possibly that whole engagement with Richards,” her face contorted at his name as though it left an acrid taste in her mouth and her eyes flare with a renewed fire, out of control, “might have been avoided if you could’ve swallowed your precious pride.”

Her words eviscerate Ernest, leaving him feeling as though there was a gaping hole in his chest.

The moment Emmeline’s lips purse close she realizes the mistake she’d made. Her fiancé was far from proud, he was probably the exact opposite. All these years he had protected Roselyn’s honor for her family’s sake. All these years he had kept quiet after saying goodbye to a child he had begun to love as his own. While he had never told Emmeline something that could’ve been vital and important information he had reasons, as stupid as protecting a dead girl that he owed nothing to was. Sometimes she spoke too fast for her own good and dug herself a hole, just as she had right now. She hadn’t meant it but she was far too hurt by his inability to share with her to take it back right now.

The silence between them fills the extravagant parlor of Ernest Sinclaire’s townhome, taking residence in every little nook of the large room. Emmeline desperately wanted to know the entire story of Ernest and Roselyn this time, but she felt so entirely ashamed by what she said that she can’t bring herself to speak.

When someone finally speaks, it is Ernest and his voice is small and defeated. “I deserved that.”

“This does not change my feelings for you Ernest, my love, nor my intention to marry you but realize that it may take me some time to get over this revelation.” She pauses in her thought and moves across the room to the settee. “But I should like to know the full story.”

Perma-tags: @darley1101, @blackcatkita, @fullbeaumonty, @melodyofgraves, @anxiousdepressedintrovert, @theroyalweisme, @bella-ca, @katurrade, @hopefulmoonobject, @shwarmi, @cocomaxley, @writtenbycandy, @gardeningourmet, @thequeenofcronuts, @tmarie82, @mfackenthal, @paisleylovergirl, @pixieferry, @the-writerly-night-owl, @flyawayboo, @regency-lady, @tabootheunicorn, @choicesyouplayandmore, @daisy-ashton, @x-kyne-x, @universallypizzataco, @desiree-0816

Sinclaire/D&D tags: @kamybelen-blog, @shelivesinthewoods, @indiacater, @choicessa, @choicesthot, @innerpostmentality, @topsyturvy-dream, @alegria1580, @walkerismychoice, @walkerduchess, @snickette, @tornbetween2loves, @mr-sinclaire, @drakewalkerfantasy, @endless-vall, @endlessflame, @peachydaisykeen, @elles-choices, @bardiniwalker, @alesana45, @crispymilkshake-choices, @thefarrari, @llamasgrl, @stopforamoment, @gooddaykate, @missameliep, @elainew13, @deadpoetbyron, @mrsbriarmarlcaster, @noeschoices, @symonde, @jasidu2, @lovelysinclaire, @sonic200, @princess-geek, @xphantomphanphanaticx

#asks #anons #i will never be over the way PB treated this bit of information #there are 7 MILLION better ways

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ladyhistorypod · 4 years

Text

Episode 8: I’m Holding out for a She-ro

Sources:

Ida Lewis

Thought Co

Atlas Obscura

Smithsonian Learning Lab

Archive.org

Traditional Music

Further Listening: “The Memory Palace”, “The Eyes of Ida Lewis” by Reg Meuross

Selena Quintanilla-Pérez

Smithsonian Insider

National Portrait Gallery

PBS: Latin Museum USA

CNN

Biography(dot)com

20/20

National Museum of American History

Sábado Gigante

Interview

Further Reading: To Selena, With Love

Rose Valland

Rape of Europa (documentary)

Monuments Men Foundation

The Collector

WideWalls

Statue “of” Rose Valland (image)

Attributions: Airplane Seatbelt Beep, Sailor Song, Spanishy Guitar Thing (that’s the actual name of the file), French Horn Sounds, Trio for Piano Violin and Viola

Click below for a transcript of today’s episode!

Alana: We were talking and I was giving Lexi like things that she could cut from episode six and I was like you can cut just like most of me talking and let someone else… give them, give everyone a break from my voice. And then Lexi was like you're our fearless leader though and I was like no. I'm scared of everything and I just love listening to myself talk, that's what the deal is here, that's what's happening.

Lexi: The fear doesn't come across. So.

Alana: Oh that's good. I wasn’t on TikTok because I don't go on TikTok because I don't have a TikTok because I don't get it. But I follow an account on Twitter that just posts all of Hank Green’s TikToks. Apparently there's like some dance challenge, I bet, or something, I’m making an assumption, where you like put on your shoes or something, and I don’t know. I don’t know. But he was like leaning over doing something with his shoes and then he threw his shoe at the phone and yelled “do your homework” which I thought was very funny.

Haley: Are you gonna talk about Hank Green every episode?

Alana: Yes.

(Haley laughing)

Alana: I wish he was my dad!

[INTRO MUSIC]

Alana: Hello and welcome to Lady History: the good, the bad, and the ugly ladies you missed in history class. It's time for my favorite Zoom meeting. Up in the top left corner is Lexi. Lexi, what's your superpower?

Lexi: My superpower is writing essays the night before they're due, not double checking them, submitting them, and then having the professor say wow you're a great writer.

Alana: And down at the bottom is Haley. Haley, what would your superhero name be and why is it Sprinklebear McPuss-n-Boots?

Haley: Ugh. I really, I had my super power all ready to go and you switched it up on me. Sprinklebear McPuss-n-Boots was something off of a whim. That was like a gut visceral reaction to my super power name. I guess I'll stick– I don't know why it's that long. I have a really long last name. I love short and sweet names. I hate that it’s Sprinklebear McPuss-n-Boots.

Alana: I need to– we need to like keep bringing it up so that we can have Sprinklebear McPuss-n-Boots merch someday.

Lexi: Please if you'd like to contact Haley write to our podcast.

Alana: We cannot stress this enough. Even if you don't have anything to say, send us a DM and just be like this is for Sprinklebear McPuss-n-Boots

Haley: This is why I can't speak freely and… I don't know. I can't have nice things because then I say crap like that.

Alana: And I'm Alana and I watch blockbuster superhero movies the way they were meant to be seen; on the tiny airplane screen on the back of the seat in front of me. Or at least I used to.

Haley: Alright. I have a question for you all. What is the definition of a she-ro?

Lexi: A hero who uses she/her pronouns?

Alana: I love that. I think I'm gonna second that. Yeah. I'm also gonna say like people who were overlooked. I know that's like our whole podcast is like people who were overlooked but… That's– that's how I feel.

Lexi: I'm holding out for She-ro.

Alana: Holding out for She-ro. Til… how does the song go I don’t even know.

Lexi: Til the end of the night.

Alana: Can I tell you the first time I heard that song?

Lexi: She’s gotta be strong and she’s gotta be tough.

Alana: The first time I heard that song.

Lexi (high-pitched): She’s gotta be fresh from the fight.

Alana: For reals.

Lexi (somehow even higher-pitched): I’m holding out for a she-ro!

Alana: For reals the first time I heard that song? Shrek 2. Dead serious.

Haley: Yeah. I think that’s… I think that’s the same for me too.

Lexi: No the first time you heard “Holding out for a She-ro” was right now when I wrote it. You may have heard a different song.

Alana: The original song. The original song.

Lexi: This is parody, therefore it's protected under parody law.

Haley: She-ro on the oracle that is Urban Dictionary has like two top definitions in their like first thing that comes up. The first one is a woman or man who supports women's rights and respects women's issues. The second is female hero, basically saying he as in hero and it's like Greek and Old English rooted words going into all that, we're not here for, it's not fun. The fun part is just how someone put in she-ro as an obnoxious word built off the word hero but in the same breath is like a man or woman who fights women's issues and then truly just like a whole mix of how this word’s obnoxious.

Lexi: Thoughts; I hate the term women's issues.

Alana: Me too.

Lexi: That makes me sick to my stomach.

Haley: Yeah I don't like it either.

Lexi: Second, let’s edit Urban Dictionary. My definition was better because I don't like either of those definitions.

Alana: Me neither.

Haley: There are like a whole host of definitions and that was me dwindling it down.

Lexi: Like the fact that it says female hero like that makes me upset because someone can be female and not use she as the pronouns that frustrates me.

Haley: Exactly.

Lexi: And then also I don't like the term women's issues that just doesn't sit well with me. You know, I don't like that.

Haley: Also I didn't think of like hero as like he I always saw it as H. E. R. so like her.

Alana: So that's why you said her-o in the original spreadsheet.

Haley: I also had a few drinks in me but that's neither here nor there.

Lexi: Also the feminine form of hero is heroine but then that sounds like drugs.

Haley: Yeah that's true, that's also true. Honestly I’d rather be a drug than like a woman. If it– women’s rights or like heroin’s rights

Lexi, laughing: In 2020 America, if you were a drug that was being sold by a pharmaceutical company, you would have more rights than a woman.

(Haley laughing)

Alana: Lexi leave that in.

Lexi: Oh hell yeah I will.

Alana, laughing: Oh god.

(Haley and Alana laughing)

Lexi: So our first she-ro today is Idawalley Zoradia Lewis who was born on February 25, 1842, and in 1854 her family moved to a little island called Lime Rock. It was off the coast of Newport, Rhode Island. The family made the move when her father became keeper of the lighthouse there, and living on a rock meant her and her three younger siblings needed to row a boat back and forth to school on the mainland each day, so Ida became a strong rower. She also learned to swim against really rough waves and so she was just all around really good in the water. In 1858, sixteen year old Ida rescued four young men. The group had been sailing when a strong wave capsized their boat near Lime Rock and Ida, by this time a well-practiced rower, rowed out to where the boys were struggling to tread water. She hauled all four of them aboard and brought them to shore. The event received very little publicity even though this sixteen year old girl saved four people. When Ida was in her teens, her father's health began to decline and he became wheelchair-bound, so Ida had to learn the skills needed to keep the lighthouse running so that her family can continue to run the lighthouse and receive an income. In 1869, a pair of soldiers were on a boat near Lime Rock during a snowstorm and the snowstorm turned their ship over. Ida, who was actually ill at the time, didn't even stop to put on her coat and went out to rescue the soldiers with the assistance of her younger brother. In recognition of her service at this time, President Ulysses S. Grant awarded her the Congressional Medal of Honor. Grant and his vice president visited Ida’s lighthouse to congratulate her and the story about the rescue was published in the New York Tribune. In 1872, Ida’s father unfortunately passed away and her mother briefly became the lighthouse keeper. In 1870, Ida became the lighthouse keeper because her mother was beginning to be sick. At one point, she was the highest paid lighthouse keeper in America. Her mother, who was now at this point very ill, eventually passed away in 1887. There is no written record of the exact number of people Ida saved, but accounts from the time estimate she saved at least eighteen people or possibly as many as thirty-six. Many national magazines acknowledged her for her great heroism and she became a household name in New England. In 1911, Ida is believed to have suffered a stroke. She died shortly after. The city of Newport flew their flags at half mast and thousands of fans came to Lime Rock to bid her farewell. After her death, the lighthouse was renamed Ida Lewis Lighthouse and Lime Rock was renamed Lewis Rock in honor of her 54 years of service. Lewis Rock is now home to the Ida Lewis Yacht Club. Though Ida’s actions and career were considered masculine and caused much debate during her lifetime, she was recognized as a heroine by many young women who admired her. She inspired girls, showing them women could be strong, and save men, something young women at the time likely did not see reflected anywhere else in their lives. And that's what makes her a she-ro.

Alana: I was literally today talking about when I was– when I was like 11 or something we did… my family did like a sort of driving tour of Cape Cod, Connecticut, and Rhode Island and I was literally talking about that trip with my mom on the phone today because it's Sunday, it's call your mother day. So I was like actually talking about Rhode Island today which is really interesting. Like what a weird coincidence. I didn't know anything about her. That's cool.

Lexi: She is a little-named person. She's not frequently mentioned, but she does appear in some historical books, sometimes. Like there's a book in the Smithsonian Libraries that is called like “Women Heroes of our Great Nation” and it's from like 1890-something, like during her lifetime, and it mentions her. And it has a cute little drawing of her rowing a boat.

Alana: Do you have a link to that in the show notes?

Lexi: I do not have that specific link, but I can give it to you and I will put– we’ll put it in the show notes. That link will be in the show notes. It's not yet but I will put it in there.

Alana: I have to see this drawing.

Haley: So this shero might come as a surprise because you might be like why did she save the day? But hopefully the story I tell will kind of steer you on that path. Selena Quintanilla-Pérez, or the queen of Tejano music, was one of the most iconic singers of the late 20th century and a trailblazer in Tejano music. I know I know the theme is “saved the day” and you're probably thinking why Selena? What did she save? Well I basically wrote half a page of this long winded story on why she saved the day in my middle school Spanish class, but honestly just Google the testimonies on how Selena changed the lives of so many people and you be the judge of this whole story. So let’s crack open this history book on Selena. Born on April 16, 1971 in Lake Jackson, Texas, her family wasn't originally from fame, but before fame she was a singer of her family's band Selena y Los Dinos, that worked weddings, fairs, and other venues along the US-Mexican border. And her father was also a musician back in the day, so not only did the kids get the musical talent from him but they also were trained and mentored by him. And you see a lot of the family influence come out and her music later. So funnily enough she grew up speaking English, not speaking Spanish but her father taught her how to sing in Spanish so she could connect better with the Latin American community. And in the HBO 1997 Selena movie with J. Lo you kind of see like how and why Abraham, her father, picked that. And she did learn to speak Spanish fluently because actually rose to fame she had to kind of be in interviews and a lot of these were Mexican broadcasting news organizations, which they were going to be asking and expecting her to answer in Spanish. So her rise to fame, she had to break so many barriers because of Tejano music, which is a style of music that fuses Mexican, U. S. and European elements together, was heavily male dominated. In 1990, her Ven Conmigo album was the first to Tejano album by a female artist to go gold, and in the following years songs like gonna Como La Flor, Bidi Bidi Bom Bom, Si Una Vez and others quickly made it to the top of charts and are still iconic songs. Even on the radio, a few days ago I listened to this. I was listening to some channel and Como La Flor came on and I was like “I'm doing her this is like a sign” because I really struggled to pick a shero. Through all this fame, she is noted as humble, caring, and overall a lovely girl who truly put her family, friends, and fans above her own happiness sometimes, and people would just comment on how great she was in interviews, just meeting her on the street, and even the HBO and other documentaries, movies, show that she was just a lovely lovely human. To pivot slightly she was most definitely a renaissance woman while continuing her musical career, she started a whole fashion experience. Her style overall was considered to be breaking bounds of toting the line between “sexy rebel” and “Mexican American good girl” and for those who do not know, she is most known for her bustiers, tight pants, and jackets. All these fashion icons were inspirations from her stagewear, which she made available to the public because she made those herself which I thought was pretty cool like all her stagewear is coming from her. Especially when they were just like a touring small band along the border, they would have to get creative and Selena would take charge in what everyone would wear on stage. The Smithsonian's National Museum of American History actually has one of the leather outfits she wore and I couldn't figure out if it was on display or not but they do have that and I believe other Selena artifacts and have done a lot of stuff of Selena which will all be on the show notes. She is also sometimes is referred to as “Mexican Madonna'' which I personally think is garbage for so many reasons because both of those females, women, ladies are their own identities and like her music doesn't sound like Madonna.

Alana: No. The only way that Selena is the Mexican Madonna, is if Madonna is the White Selena.

Haley: Yeah.

Alana: Like I would accept like either of those because I love flipping that script.

Haley: I saw that quote like “Mexican Madonna” too many times to not put it in and just be like this is a dumpster fire

Lexi: But like I think only similarity is the leather.

Haley: It’s like the leather and the bustiers, and the bustiers she would wear would be like bedazzled bras... so I was thinking like Madonna and the cone boobs. And it’s like, what, we're gonna call Katy Perry like...

Lexi: So many female singers dress like that

Haley: Yeah, so like I wish I was born, I was born right after #1997Baby because I would have totally gotten a leather jacket from Selena. Like when she did her whole public appearance, there are so many interviews of her talking about her clothing, and you see how passionate she is. She broke even more barriers when she became the first Tejano artist to win the Grammy for best Mexican-American album in 1994 and this was at the 36th Grammy Awards. Unfortunately, only a year after her Grammy win at the height of her fame she was murdered. At age 23 she was murdered by the president of her fan club, Yolanda Saldivar in Corpus Christi, Texas, and Yolanda was considered like her close friend, part of the family even though Abraham has been on record saying like he didn't trust her, especially when a lot of like paper trails of money going missing and just fans being like this is not right like I ordered this thing and this came instead or nothing came at all, where he was like “okay, why is Yolanda in our life, how did she come about?” and really Yolanda approached Selena and was like “I’m your number one fan, let me do all this stuff for you.” Once the money laundering and all the other like sketchy stuff was coming to light that's when she killed Selena with a gun. So there's a lot of info about like Yolanda and her head space for this and since she survived and Selena didn't obviously they use Yolanda. Like 20/20 did a whole episode interviewing Yolanda and there's a clip even where she is saying her conscience is clear, she didn't mean to kill Selena, and the murder was a complete accident and like she... I got the sense that she felt worse that she didn't commit suicide versus like murding Selena. Yeah, Alana is giving me that face. It was just such a horrible, horrible scenario. I got the sense that Selena went to confront her or told her dad that she’ll confront Yolanda, starting like “Hey, there’s a lot of sketchy, criminal activity coming out, and you are the president of my fan club, what is going on? I’m talking to you as my friend and I want to work this out with you.” Apparently Yolanda had a gun, was willing, and did use it on Selena. I believe she died either on the way to the hospital or at the hospital. I couldn't get a full confirmation from a reputable source of what happened there. Honestly that whole 20/20 I linked in the show notes it's on YouTube and different parts, someone kindly posted that and it just shows you how sketchy Yolanda was and clearly the interviewers were trying to like kind of be like okay you're kind of a kook we don't have Selena's mark, we want to do a tribute of her overall legacy, we're gonna pick you. And Yolanda is actually up for parole in 2025 which I knew when I saw the movie in middle school, hence she saved my day that day going back to that. Now it just feels so much more real being like in 2020 versus like some random mid 2000s because all our whole like middle school class was obsessed with Yolanda. Honestly most people were for like the wrong reason like they start looking at her Wikipedia's seeing that Yolanda has like a fan club now which is like completely inappropriate. But I kept thinking like yo, why is she on parole and she would be on patrol because she would have served at least thirty years of her sentence so it's like thirty years to life sentence. Honestly, I don't think she's going to get paroled. I never read an indication that she was but you never know.

Alana: The Yolanda fan club kind of goes back to what we were saying in our lady criminals episode.

Haley: Yes.

Alana: Like these friggin serial killers that have fan clubs and that's so messed up.

Haley: I almost actually paved Yolanda Saldivar as my lady criminal because just whole rap sheet on her and there's just so much on like her publicness, she is still alive, and in the interviews she's like wearing makeup, wearing nice clothing, and I’m like you are painting her as an innocent, sweet lady, she is talking about murder! This is… no. I feel like we wouldn't do that for certain people like people still have sympathy for her, hence she's not wearing like the prison jumpsuit they're not doing in a prison yard. They're like creating this space to paint a picture. So to end on a happy note I've kind of compiled the list on her legacy and Boy Howdy even just in the past few years the list goes on and on. I made like a whole list from when she died and after so like 1995 to 2020 and yes it's a lot of years, but just all the stuff. There's a lot of family drama, court drama, stuff with Yolanda Saldivar and to keep it positive and keep it with stuff that we can use as Lady History and just like us as a community, loving her… Mac cosmetics has created two makeup lines in her honor. The lipstick is chef's kiss gorgeous. It's like her iconic red lipstick. I'm still looking for it. I keep thinking I’ll see it when I go to Mac or Sephora and I should probably just order online. She also has a Hollywood Walk of Fame star which you can go visit. Lastly, we have a ton of documentaries and biopics, notably the movie with J. Lo that is and back on HBO and I believe Netflix is also in the works with creating a series within the near future. The trailer’s out it looks fantastic and in my ever so humble opinion, a lot of these biopics are actually pretty decent. They do show the good, the bad, and the ugly and I could be wrong, you could totally fight me but when I watched the movie when I had HBO, made a list of points I wanted to hit or kind of corroborate because I thought it was interesting when I was watching the movie of like oh the J.Lo movie did like a great job because all that like I could find in like interviews or like the Smithsonian had a bunch of PBS, CNN for a PSA for the sources; lots of visuals this time, so if you're a visual, you like the videos you like the audio for it, rather than the text of all the books definitely check those out.

Alana: That was cool. Definitely not someone I think of as fitting this topic, that was awesome.

Haley: We defined sheroes like anyone who makes an impact

Alana: Yeah.

Haley: And honestly I had the whole joke of how I really do want to be in my Spanish middle school class and I didn't know of her existence beforehand. I've listened to some of her music growing up I didn't realize like her whole story and that was Seleh-na, Seleena, however you want to say it, I don't know you can you can fight me on how to pronounce the name but like it was the first time I saw Spanish representation in a Spanish class which is saying a lot.

Alana: Awesome, That's so cool. I guess it helps when you are telling real stories and not being, or at least trying to tell real stories and not making shit up.

Haley: Yeah, also at least for the cast for J. Lo, I'm thinking off the top of my head weren't like white people playing Hispanic, Latino characters. The Spanish was good. Like we'll see West Side Story and Natalie Wood with brown face on that was not the situation will not be the situation for Netflix.

Lexi: sings * MMMAAARRIIIAAAA *

Haley: I will get so mad if that comes around like that again.

Lexi: Ya know I can play Maria on the French Horn.

Alana: So something that Lexi and Haley know about me and now all of our lovely listeners are going to know about me is I have two favorite things: museums and fucking over Nazis. This story has both. Lexi is giving me a round of applause. We love it. So did you two see “Monuments Men?”

Haley: No I have not.

Alana: Lexi is nodding. Well my lady for today is the inspiration for the character Claire Simone played by Cate Blanchett in the movie “Monuments Men.” She's kind of turned into just a love interest but this is not a movie review podcast this is a history podcast. So. Rose Valland. She was born on November 1, 1898 in a small town in France that I'm not even gonna try to pronounce. It occurred to me that this is why we tend to stick with ladies who are American and British is because so many of these sources were in French and I was like I don't speak French. Sometimes I feel bad about that but other times I'm like I can't read these sources.

Lexi: We should get some listeners to send us translations of ladies from their home countries that we can use. So if you have a lady from your home country or speak a language of a country, translate some sources for a rare lady and send them to us.

Alana: We would love to talk about rare ladies who are like– that's the whole point, like overlooked by history.

Haley: Google Translate does not help. I'm ready for someone to be like use Google Translate because I’ve seen that on so many podcasts.

Alana: Yeah. I have a Google Translate story later in this about how bad it was. Rose earned two separate degrees in art history from the École du Louvre and The Sorbonne. I over-pronounce things in French because you can't be corrected if you're wrong on purpose. She also has two previous degrees from École des Beaux-Arts in Lyon and in Paris which I think translates just like to school for fine arts or school of fine arts. And yet, she takes an unpaid volunteer job at the Jeu de Paume in 1932. It says volunteer, I've been thinking of her as an unpaid intern because that just resonates with me personally. I watched the documentary “Rape of Europa” which is all about this project. I did that while I was a little bit drunk and I looked at my notes afterwards and I have this line here in all caps, holy shit she was unpaid. I was very excited about her being an unpaid intern because unpaid interns can do anything.

Lexi: The amazing thing about that is that for most of museums’ history, once women were allowed in, they weren't allowed to be paid to work.

Alana: That's a whole other issue.

Lexi: When you look at the Smithsonian archives, the number of women that were just there because their husband was there but then actually contributed way more than their husbands but then got paid like eighty bucks as a present one time? Like… crazy. I digress.

Alana: And the Jeu de Paume is an art museum a little bit further from Paris, a little bit lesser known from Paris. It's like… for my DC friends, my DC audience it's like the Louvre is the National Gallery of Art and the Jeu de Paume is the Hirschhorn. So like it's a little bit lesser known but like still really cool. I can't find a good timeline for like her level of promotion and how far she came which… how? This was like less than a hundred years ago, but okay. Eventually she gets a job being a paid attaché and then becomes assistant curator when the curator falls ill. She was in charge of modern art exhibits which is very interesting because a very prominent art school reject has just become Chancellor of Germany and hates modern art and thinks it's degenerate. Oh. This will come into play later. It was Hitler. I just want to be like Hitler was an art school reject who thought modern art– I guess 1930s art was degenerate. I just wanna explain the joke.

Lexi: That’s my second favorite fact about Hitler.

Alana: What's your first favorite fact?

Lexi: That he only had one testicle.

Alana: That he only had one testicle. Okay. So. In October of 1940, the Nazis commandeered the Jeu de Paume for storing looted art. This was the Eisen– I don’t speak German. I’m gonna get it clean. Einsatzstab Reichsleiter Rosenberg Project. It was the name of the operation that Hitler used for all of the basically art looting that he did. That was like the name of the project; name of the operation. And then the director of the French National Museums says to Rose Valland “stay there. Be a spy.” And she's like “okay” and she works the phones which is an amazing way to like listen in to keep track of movements. But guess what? They're like being all loosey-goosey with their info around her because they're like “oh she's French, we're speaking German, it'll be fine.” Plot twist, she knows German! So she managed to keep a diary of which, like, prominent Jewish collectors owned what and what went where and who took it and where it was going and catalogued all this stuff. She was interrogated for being a spy twice and there is a quote from her– like she wrote a memoir about this, this time in her life and she says “he looked at me straight in the eye and told me I could be shot. I calmly replied that no one here is stupid enough to ignore the risk.” And that is movie dialogue level shit. Like, oh my god. Incredible. But like so, she's interviewed a couple times and she was like “no look I'm a woman I can't be a spy, look at my glasses.” (Alana laughing)

Haley, whispering: I’m a spy.

Lexi: Remember, women can't be money, women can't be spy.

Alana: Women don't be money women don't be spies.

Haley: We all have glasses, so we are all spies.

Alana: We are all spies. Can’t be glasses. She has– there are like all these cute little pictures of her and she was wearing Harry Potter glasses but this was way before Harry Potter and also like Harry Potter's kind of cringe now so I think we need to call Harry Potter glasses Rose Valland glasses. That's my new social movement, that's my new fight.

Lexi: Acceptable. We should start a Twitter campaign.

Alana: Yeah. I should. After the war, she kept working with the museum and she kept working with the Monuments Men. That was like their actual name, that's not just the name of the movie. And she was looking for the stolen art and she was part of the French Commission on Art Recovery. At age 54 she was finally made curator. Women… Women don't be museums, women don't be money, women don't be spies, women don't be museums. She's also given so many awards before she's even made curator. She's like the most decorated woman in France and then she's made curator. And like, that's all she ever wanted, was to be a curator but she has like– she's awarded the Legion of Honor, the Medal of the Résistance, the Officer’s Cross of the Order of Merit of the Federal Republic of Germany, she's made Commander of the Order of Arts and Letters. In 1948 she was given the Presidential Medal of Freedom, but all she wants is to be curator of this museum.

Lexi: I have never felt a story on this show so hard.

Alana: And then , wait, how us is this part? She retired from the museum in 1968, but she went back to being a volunteer for ten years. I've never felt closer to a woman.

Lexi: Incredible. Yeah. I think this is my past life.

Alana: Yeah, right? She published a book called– it's basically like “The Front of Art” like “The Art Front.” It's a pun on a different book called “The Art of the Front.” But so she's just talking about like fighting the war but from the perspective of an art museum, essentially. It became the Hollywood movie “The Train” in the sixties but in her book she's not like a hero or glorifying herself. She's very objective and her fictionalized character in “The Train” has like ten minutes of screentime. She just wants to talk about the deeds, not really herself; she's just like “I was doing my job…” Which is the only way you should be using that phrase in the context of World War II. But James Rorimer, who is fictionalized to James Granger and Matt Damon– Matt Damon's character in “Monuments Men”– in an early draft of his book, he literally says “Rose Valland is the hero of this story.” I just think it's so amazing that she was so prominent in this, and all she's like “okay I just want to go work at my museum now, goodbye” but with a French accent… because she was French.

Lexi: I was gonna attempt it but I'm not going to.

Alana: I’m not gonna do it, I can't do it. There is a statue of– it's sort of, there is a statue that's sort of of her in Lille, France L. I. L. L. E. France. Which is like a little town about 225 kilometers or 140 miles north of Paris. It's pretty close to the Belgian border. The way in which I had to go to the Hebrew language Wikipedia page and translate it to English to find out that's where the statue was… So here's my Google Translate story. In Hebrew, I speak very little Hebrew, shout out to my at-home synagogue who gave me a job teaching Hebrew even though I don't speak it. I love that. But there's a prefix V- which means and. And so when I translated the page into English, the computer translated Rose V-alland to Rose and Allan. So that's why we don't trust the Google Translate. That's why we don't trust the computer translate. We only trust the people. The humans. Because there's like no capitals in Hebrew, so you can't tell what's a name and what's not. This statute does not look like her at all. It's more like a monument to her. It's like a woman, wrapped in a sheet, surrounded by empty frames, and it's kind of weird but it's like a memorial to her. There is ongoing work with the recovery project. There are still paintings that the Nazis looted that haven't been found; it is called the E. R. R. project for. Eizen– Eizenstab or whatever. And they're trying to find the stolen works and it is sponsored by the United States Holocaust Memorial Museum– please give me a job United States Holocaust Memorial Museum– and the Jewish Claims Conference. So it's like her life is not– like her life's work is not complete and we have to finish it. I had a really good time researching this story. Shout out to my dad for the four bucks he gave me so that I could rent “Monuments Men” on Amazon. Yeah. I also have documentaries this week. It's fun that we've like done different kinds of sources.

Lexi: We covered such different she-roes like–

Haley: I love it.

Lexi: Mine’s like the classical like she literally like pulled someone out of water.

Haley: Yeah.

Lexi: And then Haley's is more like look how many people's lives that she touched and therefore like saved people through music and then Alana’s is about saving art. Which is so cool that we all have different types of heroes. There's no wrong way to be a she-ro.

Haley: That's why I wanted to ask the question.

Alana: What is a she-ro.

Haley: Yeah. I love that.

Lexi: Anyone can be a she-ro.

Alana: Anyone who uses she/her pronouns can be a she-ro. Lexi's doing a fist pump and it's very funny that she has a screenshot from one of our previous Zoom meetings as her Zoom background.

Haley: What would be the non-binary version of hero/she-ro?

Alana: They-ro.

Haley: Okay.

Lexi: Yeah, I love that.

Haley: Well, I wanted to say that but then I didn't want to be like– that was in my head, but…

Alana: They-ro.

Haley: Trying to like pronounce it sounded weird.

Alana: Like my favorite joke that nobody likes, like happy Rosh– or like, Shana Tova to all my Hebrews, shebrews, and theybrews.

Haley: Yes.

Alana: My favorite joke in the whole world and I made it on Twitter nobody liked it. If you see me on Twitter no you don't.

Lexi: You can find this podcast on Twitter and Instagram at LadyHistoryPod. Our show notes and a transcript of this episode will be on lady history pod dot tumblr dot com. If you like the show, leave us a review or tell your friends, and if you don’t like the show, keep it to yourself.

Alana: Our logo is by Alexia Ibarra you can find her on Twitter and Instagram at LexiBDraws. Our theme music is by me, Garageband, and Amelia Earhart. Lexi is doing the editing. You will not see us, and we will not see you, but you will hear us, next time on Lady History.

[OUTRO MUSIC]

Haley: Next week on Lady History; we're heading to the zoo to monkey around. Get ready for some zoologists, zookeepers, primatologists, you name it. It’s going to be such an animal party.

Alana: I have a confession to make. Every time you say the birthdate of one of your ladies I’m like “Oh, so her star sign is…”

(Lexi laughing)

Alana: Like, Haley was like “she was born on April 16th” and in my head I'm like “so she's an Aries…”

Haley: I think of the same thing. I like–

Alana: It's just like where I am. I always think that like… every time I write down a birthday I'm like “oh maybe this time I'll be like oh that makes her a Scorpio. Like, Rose Valland, Scorpio.

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whatimpunsexual · 4 years

Text

Animated character that was your gay awakening? - I’d have to say both Danny Phantom, and also Sam Manson.

Grilled cheese or PB&J? - PB&J but only with strawberry jelly

What show/YouTube video(s) do you put on in the background when you when you don’t have anything to watch but you want something on? - I usually let one of my various “Music Mix” playlists

Your go-to bar order, if you drink? - I am 20, I cannot legally drink or go into bars, but a rum and coke or a fireball is nice occasionally

What’s your favorite pair of shoes that you own? - The 5 inch heels i use to intimidate @paxonia

Top three cuisines? - Japanese, Mexican, Italian

What was your first word as a child (that wasn’t a variation of “Mom” or “Dad”)? - No idea, but i know that my first sentence was me quoting Shrek. Unfortunately, my dad doesn’t remember the sentence, but I’ve always felt a connection to “That is a nice boulder.”

What’s a job that you’ve had that people might be surprised to find out you’ve had? - I worked as a Manager at Mcdonalds for 3 and a half years, but that’s also like the only job I’ve had besides my current one

Look up. What’s directly across from you? - My fish tank with my Betta fish (Karma) in it

Do you own any signed books/memorabilia in general? - I have the Limited Edition Journal 3 signed and numbered by Alex Hirsch

Preferred way to spend a rainy day? - In bed, preferably watching movies

What do you get on your bagels? What WOULD you get if you had access to anything you wanted? - Butter on an everything bagel. If I had access to everything, I think I’d still go simple lmao

Brunch or midnight snacks? - Midnight snacks

Favorite mug you own - One that I got for Christmas a couple years back. It’s just a nice maroon color and it tapers out to be a bit wider at the top, and I Just Think It’s Neat

What coffee drink would you describe yourself as? - One of those Starbucks caramel iced coffees that you can get at gas stations

Pick a song lyric to describe your current mood (and drop the name and artist!) - “ the world might do me in / It's all right cause I'm with friends / Cause I'm giving up again / It doesn't matter” - Ghost / Mystery Skulls

Fruity or herbal teas? - Herbal

What’s that one TV show that you’re a little bit embarrassed to watch but you still like nonetheless? - Big Mouth

That book you were forced to read for class but actually ended up enjoying? - Oedipus was actually really good, and like all of the Shakespeare things we read in AP Lit

Do you match your socks? - Almost never

Have you ever been horseback riding? - Not by myself, but at September Fest one year, they had a person guiding kids around on horseback and that was fun

What was your “phase” when you were younger? (i.e., Mythology Nerd, Horse Girl, Space Geek, etc) - Mythology..

Have you ever been to jail? - Nope

What’s your opinion on Lazy Susan’s (the spinning tray in the middle of tables)? - They’re convenient

Puzzles? - Yes

You can only have one juice for the rest of your life, what is it? - Orange juice

What section do you immediately head for when you walk into a bookstore? - Manga/Graphic Novels

What’s one thing you’re trying to learn/relearn in your downtime right now? - Drawing hands and proper anatomy lmao

Who’s your go-to musical artist when you’re feeling upbeat? - Recently, Mariana’s Trench

Where could someone find you in a museum? - Greek and Roman Mythology, or the classical art

What’s that one outfit in your closet you never get the chance to wear but want to? - I keep wanting to wear my overall shorts but it’s too cold

Rainbows, stars, or sunset colored clouds? - The clouds are always so fun to look at

If you could own any non-traditional pet (dogs, cats, fish, rodents, etc), what would it be? - A little baby red fox

Do you have more art on your walls or more photographs? - Art/posters

You have to get one meme tattooed on your body, what meme is it and where does it go? - the Lenny Face, and on my ankle

Pick a superhero sidekick to hang out with - Dick Grayson

Lakes, rivers, or oceans? - Rivers

Favorite mid-2000s song - Dear Maria, Count Me In

How do you dress when you’re home alone? - Pajama pants and a sports bra

Where do you sit in the living room (we all have a preferred spot, and you know it)? - The right side of our couch, curled up in a comfy lean

Knives or swords? - Swords

A song you didn’t think you’d enjoy but ended up loving - Bang! by AJR, Idk why, I just didn’t expect it to hit as hard as it did lmao

Pick an old-school Disney Channel Original Movie - High School Musical 2

Are you a “Quote that relates to the photos” caption-er, an “explanation of where I took the photos” caption-er, or a no caption kinda person when you post pictures online? - It depends on the picture

Name a classic Vine - ROAD WORK AHEAD?? UH YEAH! I SURE HOPE IT DOES!

What’s the freezer food that you stock up on when you go to the grocery store? - Pizza Rolls

How do you top your ice cream? - Whipped cream

Do you like Jello? - Yes, but only certain flavors

What’s something that you don’t have a picture of that you wish you did? - When Pax and I got pretend married at our first Sadie Hawkins Dance

How are you at climbing trees? - Depends on the tree. Outside of my gma’s old house there was a Japanese Magnolia tree that was perfect for climbing, but I can’t climb straight up

You happy, @soliduslion ?

#ask #reply #personal

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fluffy-marshmallow-heart · 5 years

Text

Drake's Diary ch.29 -The Chosen One

The Royal Romance canon from Drake's POV

Words: 2057

Master List (Catch up here)

This chapter was a bit difficult, because almost none of it was in the book. PB (in my opinion) dropped the ball with that. So, I put in what I think would have (should have) happened. I hope you enjoy it

Drake stood hesitantly on the hotel balcony facing Emma. “We need to talk…about us.”

Please tell me I’m not too late. Please tell me things didn’t work with Liam.

She nodded. “Yeah, we do. Drake…Liam proposed to me tonight.”

“Oh!” His heart sank. I actually thought you might choose me, though. He tried to hide the hurt coursing through him. Trying to smile for her but failing. “I’m hap…”

“I said no.”

He inhaled sharply. Did she just say…. “….What?”

She took a step closer. “Drake…I might’ve come here for Liam, but I want to be with you. You’re the only one I ever really cared about.

It’s…happening? Does she know what she’s giving up? Is she drugged? “Rose…do you really mean that? Liam is a King. I can’t offer you half of what he can.”

She gave him a soft smile. “I didn’t come here looking for a Kingdom, Drake. I want to be with you. And I think you invited me out here tonight because you want that too.”

He stares at her, falling silent for a moment as his disbelief slowly fades into resolve. “I do. I have for a long time, Rose. I guess I’ve been afraid of what that would mean. For you, for Liam…and for me. But if you…”

“Drake. I’m sure about this.” She interrupted.

He nods, running a slightly shaky hand through his hair. They both take a step closer to each other. Drake’s gaze never strays from her face. It’s real. This is real. Our feelings are real. I am a lucky bastard. “Is this the part where you tell me to stop talking and kiss you? Because I really want to kiss you.”

She bit her lip and his eyes fell to it. “Well…So do I, but aren’t you worried someone will see us?”

He follows her pointed gaze over to a nearby building, where a few dozen people seem to be throwing a party on the roof. He grinned. Nope. I really don’t give a fuck. “Let ‘em look. I’m tired of being careful.”

He pulls her toward him, his lips catching hers in a searing kiss as his arms wrap comfortingly around her waist. He can’t help but feel gentle, astonished joy as he pulls away. “I don’t know what the hell I did to deserve you, Rose. But I’ll never stop trying to be worthy of it.”

God, she’s everything and more. And she chose me. I’m in love with this woman.

She smirked. “So, you won’t resent me for being a duchess?”

Like I could ever. “I’d never re…Wait. What did she say?

“Wait, a what?”

“It’s been an eventful night. I’ll fill you in.”

Drake listened as Emma told him what transpired with her and Liam. He felt awful…to an extent.

I can’t believe he used her dog to propose…that’s genius. How am I going to top that?

“He also said that affairs are common in Cordonia, as long as you have the permission from your spouse.” She continued. “He asked me to sleep with him.”

Drake stared at her in shock. He what???

“Obviously I didn’t. But I think his ego may be a bit bruised. I just don’t want to go into this relationship without telling you everything, and even though we aren’t actually married yet, I just…I want you to know I would never do that. I choose you, Drake. I always have, and I always will.”

Drake let out a heavy sigh while running his hand through his hair. “Well…I’m a bit hurt he did that…but I also know that you’re pretty damn irresistible, Rose. And I know I can trust you, especially since you came right out with that. I have to ask though….” He trailed off, unsure of how to proceed.

“No, I never slept with him.”

His eyebrows shot up and she let out a laugh. “Are you really surprised that I knew you were going to ask?”

The corners of Drake’s mouth turned up. “I suppose by now I shouldn’t be surprised by anything you do. You’re amazing, Rose. And just so you know….it wouldn’t have mattered.” Much.

“You can kiss me again, now.” She stated.

Drake grinned and wrapped his arms around her, capturing her lips in a ravenous kiss, his hands trailing down the curves of her body, grazing her breasts and moving lower.

“You look amazing.” He murmured into her lips. “But your dress is far too long.”

Emma giggled playfully. “I suppose it’s for the best. Although I love that you’re finally unafraid of being seen together…we don’t need to show everyone exactly how ‘together’ we can be.”

“Come on then, let’s go.” He said huskily.

She smiled at him before taking his hand and letting him lead her back to her room. She walked inside, leaving the door open, but Drake hesitated.

“Uhm, Rose…Before we go any further…I really want to talk to Liam. I just…” He rubbed the back of his neck sheepishly.

Why do I feel like I need Liam’s permission? I’m a grown ass man, and so is he. I still can’t believe he tried to sleep with her after she told him she wanted me. That’s a dick move.

Emma sighed. “I get it, Drake. You’re a good friend. The best friend. Liam’s best friend in particular. But, you do know that you can let yourself be happy sometimes, right? It’s not your responsibility to make him feel good about himself. I love that you care so much, I do, but…. Drake, I chose you tonight. And you still won’t let yourself be with me. What does that say?”

“It says I love both of you.” His widened in horror at what he said out loud.

Fuck! I just told her I love her…for the first time…in the same sentence as I said I love Liam. Way to go, Walker. Really smooth. She must think I’m such a…

“I love you too!!” She squealed, before jumping in his arms.

“Whoa!” He kissed her back fiercely, spinning her around and grinning like an idiot.

“I love you so much, Rose. Er, Emma.”

“And I love you, Drake Walker.”

She paused, giving him a mischievous look. “You know…there are other ways to enjoy ourselves that aren’t intercourse…” She began trailing a finger down his torso and he gulped, grabbing her hand when she reached his pant buckle.

Fight it, come on, fight it, not yet, don’t give in…I really want to give in…I can’t give in. Oh god, why am I choosing to be moral right now?

He licked his lips and whispered huskily in her ear. “I won’t be able to stop until I cum inside you, Rose. You should know that I fully intend on coming inside your pussy the first time we do anything together.”

Her jaw dropped slightly, and he saw a hint of a blush on her cheeks. He smiled in satisfaction.

She cleared her throat. “Well then. You better go, because I have A LOT of pent up sexual tension to get out, and since you’re not staying…” She walked over to her nightstand and pulled out a jet black, smooth looking vibrator. “I’m going to get busy myself and pretend it’s you inside me instead of this toy.”

What the…is she…how do I…what do I….uggghhhhh

Drake groaned, his dick jumping in his pants. “You make this so difficult, Rose. Maybe I should…”

“Nope, too late! You had your chance.” She smirked as she kissed him on the cheek, then turned the vibrator on and pressed it lightly where her lips had just been. He moaned lightly at the sensation before she took it away.

Good god, that’s going on her….

“Goodnight. Sweet dreams.” She shut the door right in front of his face, and he just stood there completely dumbfounded. He heard faint moaning coming from behind the door and he took several shuddery breaths before finally making himself walk away.

I’m so stupid. Goddammit. So, so, SO stupid

Scowling, he went to Liam’s quarters and knocked on the door. “Liam, it’s me.”

A moment later, Liam appeared at the door, clearly disheveled and looking at him in confusion. “Drake? What are you doing here? At this hour?”

Taking a deep breath, “Can I come in? I’d like to talk to you about something.”

A flicker of sadness crossed Liam’s eyes but in a second it was gone, his usual stoic look replacing it. “Of course. You know you’re always welcome.”

Sitting down in a chair, Drake began. “I understand you proposed to Rose, tonight.”

“I did. She turned me down.”

Drake nodded guiltily. “I…I’m sorry, Liam. I didn’t mean to fall for her, I tried so hard not to, it’s just I was always around her, and then I wanted to always be around her, and anytime we all hung out anywhere she would always put herself next to me and we have had so much spare time together and late nights at bars and playing games, searching for Tariq…it just happened. I’m so sorry I didn’t tell you. I never in a million years thought she would ever choose me over a King. No one ever chooses me.”

Drake knew he was rambling, but he couldn’t stop the words that came rushing out of his mouth.

Liam gave him a half-hearted smile. “I admit I was…shocked. I had no idea that anything was going on between the two of you. For how long have you been together? I couldn’t bring myself to ask Emma.”

“We’ve never actually been together. We still haven’t been together. We’ve kissed and that’s it. I’ve never taken it further. I didn’t want sex to mess with her decision. Because it was her decision, Liam. And although I feel bad for hiding my feelings from you…I can’t feel bad about her choosing me. And I really, really want you to be happy for me. For her. For us.”

Drake looked pleadingly into his best friend’s eyes. Please Liam. You’re like my brother.

“I cannot lie and tell you that I’m not hurt. I am hurt. I have been planning for a future with her for months and you knew that, Drake. You knew how I felt about her.”

“I know.” Drake dropped his gaze to the floor. “I did know, and that’s why…”

But Liam rose his hand to stop him. “Drake, I didn’t know how you felt about her because you never told me. You’ve never kept something like this from me before. Would you ever have told me? If she had accepted my proposal tonight, what would you have done?”

Drake thought a moment before responding. “I would have wished you both the best. I never would have told you, and I would have convinced Rose to never tell you either. After that…I really don’t know. Because I can’t imagine my future without her in it. And I never want to. So, I haven’t even allowed myself to daydream about the possibility that she may return my feelings. I didn’t want to set myself up for disappointment. I just took things one day at a time.”

“Even after you kissed?” Liam rose an eyebrow.

Drake just shrugged and to his surprise, Liam let out a small laugh.

“You always were pretty dense when it came to girls, Drake.”

The two men chuckled before falling silent again. After a minute, Liam spoke again. “You’re my best friend. Of course, I want you happy. And if Emma makes you happy then…of course I support you. Always, Drake. We’re brothers.”

Drake grinned and stood up, exchanging a hug with Liam. “You’re a great guy, Liam. The right girl will come along for you, I know it.”

He watched as Liam’s face fell a bit, and he immediately wished he’d said something else.

“Yes, well. I’m quite tired after today, so I think I will turn in, Drake.”

Drake nodded, guilt slowly creeping back in. Dammit, why did I say that? Stupid! At least wait a day!

As he went back to his own room for the night, Drake couldn’t help the small smile forming on his lips.

I do feel bad for Liam. And I said one too many things to him… But fuck if I’m not completely ecstatic that Emma Rose chose me!!!!!

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