#pick someone that isn't a supervillain | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

maxwell-grant · 1 month

Note

This feels like the kind of ask someone should've gotten around to a million years ago, but it seems it falls to me: The Shadow vs. The Penguin. Is there anything there?

Anonymous asked: How would pulp heroes like the Shadow or Green Hornet respond to The Penguin. Characters like Joker or Ra’s I can see them gunning down but that feels weird to do with Oswald “Pengy For President” Cobblepot

(Penguin by Mike Mignola. The Shadow by Lela Dowling)

It's amazing, really, what you've built here. You had a vision and made it real. Every Batman in existence respects you for it, Oswald. In fact, I'll tell you a secret…people assume that Batman's last enemy on most worlds out there is Joker. Maybe Riddler, or Ra's…but it's you.

See, you grow this crime empire until he has to deal with you. - The Batman Who Laughs #3

What there is here is a bit of an impasse, because yes obviously this is brutally, comically one-sided against The Penguin. Pitting most if not all Batman villains against The Shadow is going to be already one-sided in The Shadow's favor. Pick a Batman villain, even the big ones that make Batman the underdog like Ra's and Bane, and you can name a similar threat that The Shadow already defeated. Even if you don't count superpowered cheating with whatever abilities The Shadow has this moment, he's already dealt with most of everything they can do, he's beaten these strategies and puzzles and countless death traps at their own game, and yeah there's the fact that he's known for the fact his villains don't tend to come back for round two even when they don't die facing him. Villains that he faces tend to die specifically because they try to kill him and he returns their fire (it's important to establish here that, unless his enemies have guns drawn on innocent people, The Shadow rarely shoots first - they always have a chance to lay down their arms and walk away, a chance that most obviously never take), and Penguin's known for his unwillingness to go down without a fight and for his signature move being a concealed sneak attack, which means his odds of dying are near dead certain.

In fact, The Shadow already fought a Penguin-esque guy as one of his few reocurring villains, via The Wasp, Gibson's latter day attempt to make another Voodoo Master/Shiwan Khan. The Wasp is a "Napoleon of crime" whose body and strange buzz voice and antics and operations are themed after his namesake animal/insects, who uses a concealed weapon part of said theme (an electric "sting" on his hand powered by batteries on his belt), who connects Cranston to The Shadow and was also the only villain to figure out that Kent Allard is The Shadow. He was cleverer and more resourceful and harder to defeat than most of the typical Shadow villains, and to his credit he did achieve a thing nobody else really achieved in the run, and it didn't really do him that much (learning the secret identity tends to be a death sentence for vigilantes, but for The Shadow it's really not that big a deal, given how easily he can make new ones) and he still went out like a chump, and he's only really remembered as the less impressive of the reocurring supervillains, lacking the outright superpowers of the others. It seems like a fairly closed case.

Problem is, the more comically one-sided the odds are against Oswald, the more likely he is to actually win or at least survive because of that. Going up against people who should have his goose cooked, getting away with things he absolutely shouldn't, slipping away to survive and put one over Johnny Law, that's his thing, it's been his thing from day one. He is no stranger to dealing with vigilantes or people much bigger and stronger and scarier than him, it wasn't that long ago he was walking off getting shot at point blank and later faking his death. Penguin is no common criminal, and he isn't just a guy who's unusually smart and competent at it enough to waddle among supervillains either. In his narrative domain, The Shadow is unbeatable, but in his narrative home, The Penguin is unkillable, and not just because he's a comic book villain who survives by editorial demand. He has protagonist survival clause now.

In his ups and downs over the years, he survived in large part by becoming a fixture of Gotham, someone impossible to uproot from the setting, with his ignanimous transformation into stool-pigeon and banal crimelord in part a consequence of said survival. After more or less retiring from villainy, the next step was to very gradually join the likes of Catwoman, Azrael, Harley Quinn and Renee Montoya in their careers as independent Gotham-adjacent protagonists, which is why he now gets to have his own tv series (the second one at that, because Gotham exists and if it achieved anything, it was proving that there's an audience for The Penguin Show - and yes it still is very much shitty, but also not remotely surprising, that the instant they made a version of Oswald thin, that guy became a critical and fandom darling overnight). The Penguin wormed his way into becoming irreplaceable and they tried, they tried very hard over the years to replace this guy, and he's taken some brutal lumps and fell off very hard from the Bat-villain totem pole, but even that just enabled him to ascend to a different pole and one that makes it he can't really be just another gangster or supervillain to be knocked around, and one that's almost specifically built to ensure his narrative survival. Someone who serves the story better by being alive.

Has The Shadow ever dealt with a guy like this? Yes, yes he has. The Shadow is no stranger to criminal protagonists, or the concept of nuance, or redemption. He is certainly no stranger to the gentleman of crime who is more than what he seems.

The man who entered was tall and well built. He had the manner of a gentleman. He was attired in a perfectly fitting dress suit, which he wore with the easy air of a man of the world - Kings of Crime

The gentleman of crime arose, picked up his hat and coat and reached for his cane. There, his form obscured, The Shadow stood close enough to overhear what Graham Wellerton was saying. The gentleman of crime was talking to members of his mob.

What was Graham Wellerton's purpose? How and why had the gentleman of crime parted from his men? Why was he no longer engaged in robbery? - Road of Crime

To all appearance, George Ellerby was a gentleman; and he was actually qualified to prove such a claim. But tonight, he was to be a gentleman of crime - Battle of Greed

"I wonder," said Sandersham, slowly, "just how much The Shadow can do, or intends to do. Who is he, Krengle? How powerful is he?"

"No one knows who The Shadow is," replied the lawyer. "But he is death on crooks, they say, and he considers crime to be much broader than its legal implications." - Battle of Greed

There's about 5 Shadow novels that specifically touch on the topic of redemption. There are others where it comes up, plenty of others where The Shadow goes the extra mile in giving criminals a chance, and stories that highlight the lines that The Shadow draws in deciding how to deal with criminals (“To murderers, The Shadow dealt death: to such schemes (robbery, fraud, etc), he dealt ridicule.” - The Third Shadow), but those 5 make a focus of it. In all of those 5, we meet characters that can be called a "gentleman of crime". They are cunning, respectable-looking young men who use their smarts for crime, largely because of social circumstances that force them into using criminal tactics for dealing with life-consuming problems that the law has failed them in, and The Shadow assists them in addressing and rectifying said problems and turning their lives around.

In Kings of Crime, blackmailer and swindler Hubert Carpenter. In Road of Crime, the protagonist Graham Wellerton, "bank robber deluxe". In The Broken Napoleons, engineer Curt Sturley. Battle of Greed opens with George Ellerby, although he's not really the protagonist and is stopped before he commits his first robbery, and that story has two other redemptions that pull more focus. And in House of Shadows, Kid Pell, whose tragic demise opens the story. With the exception of Carpenter, all of these young men are given understandable and even sympathetic reasons for having become criminals, as all of them became criminals specifically because the law failed them profoundly and allowed them to suffer horrible injustice and ruin upon their lives and families, while shielding those that inflicted it upon them and provided no other recourse for them, and The Shadow goes out of his way to directly or indirectly steer them away from the paths they're walking.

Out of these, only Hubert Carpenter had a body count: he is not a murderer outright, but his past deeds had pushed victims to suicide, and The Shadow fully intended to let him serve his sentence in full. It is through the involvement of innocent parties (he took a dive to get the money to his family, he was betrayed, and his wife fell ill, making him break out of jail and desperately try to get the money for her treatment by robbing an old man who turned out to be The Shadow in disguise) and Carpenter’s own serious efforts to reform himself and assist in the downfall of his far crueler former partners that he’s able to redeem himself and face a new life (The Shadow delivers a government pardon so that he serves a month instead of 10 years).

“Somehow, he knew that The Shadow would not see the innocent suffer for the guilty.” - Kings of Crime

Kid Pell, who had already shot at least 6 people and killed 2 before the story began, wasn't quite so lucky. Dying of blood loss after trying to shoot The Shadow, his last words are a plead for him to get the guy who pushed him into this path, and keep an eye on his brother Denry to stop him from going down his path (which ends up happening, but The Shadow is able to save Denry in time).

"They called me a public enemy," declared Pell. "What else could I be, after my first kill? You know what it is to be quick on the trigger. That's the way I am" - he hesitated, his smile dwindling - "or was."

"I tried crime," said the Kid. "It didn't pay. But I was in it - deep. So I stayed. I've got no excuses. I'm not even blaming the fellow that started me in it. What I did was on my own. Understand?"

"Do me a favor," muttered the dying man. "Let me be forgotten - as Kid Pell. I rigged this hideout, so I could close accounts. Let me go through with it the way I want."

The Shadow's whispered tone gave agreement. Pell's face relaxed. In the glow of the lantern, his features lost their forced hardness. It was easy to see why he had been nicknamed the Kid. His age couldn't have been more than twenty-two.

Even his surroundings spoke a pathetic story. The shelves of the trailer were provisioned for a long stay; and among the canned goods were a few jars of homemade jam; probably the very sort that he had swiped from his mother's pantry only a few years ago.

There were books, too, that dated back to boyhood. Even when he had embarked on his career as a public enemy, Kid Pell had taken these along. He was looking at them, eyes open, the jam jars and the books, and he was smiling again, Kid Pell was. But the dampness from his dying eyes was forming into little beads, like raindrops. Suddenly, the Kid's lips stiffened.

A hand was resting on the Kid's shoulder. He could feel the power of its grip: the hand of The Shadow, merciless to men of crime. To this dying youth, murderer though he was, the pressure of that hand had the warmth of friendship.

"Maybe, Shadow" - The Kid was choking the words - "I ought to have met you before. Maybe… if I had-"

The grip tightened. It brought an end to regrets that could not be remedied. It steeled the Kid for what lay ahead - House of Shadows

-the words that The Shadow delivered held Sandersham rigid. Never in his life had the millionaire listened to such pointed accusations; such words that jogged his memory, nor such tokens of prophecy. "Rupert Sandersham," came the voice, "you are a man condemned by your own avarice! You are a master, not of finance, but of greed!"

"While your wealth grows greater," resumed The Shadow's voice, "your life grows shorter. As your schemes expand, your soul shrivels. You have physical comforts, yes"—the tone was mocking—"but who knows how long you shall retain them?"

"Your power, Sandersham, is not equal to the strength of the law. There have been loopholes in your schemes, that certain eyes may discover before your attorneys plug them". - Battle of Greed

Is The Penguin sympathetic? In some ways, yes. Is The Penguin redeemable? Not a question I'm remotely interested in handing a firm "Yes/No" to, because it's kinda both and neither, redemption tends to be conditional and fickle like that, and also irrelevant to the matter here: We've established that The Shadow (again, speaking for the pulp version here, it's what I tend to do) does not go out of his way to execute criminals, but doesn't hesitate to kill them when they try to gun him or others down. Would The Shadow extend The Penguin an olive branch and spare his life in the hopes that he'd come around and use his impressive intellect and resources and drive for the better? No. It would be useless. The Shadow doesn't deal with that kind of "hope", and The Penguin would not be interested in doing so either.

There have been occasions where The Shadow was caught in a bad enough situation that he had to momentarily pause the pursuit of a criminal, but The Shadow does not compromise, nor does he ever really need to, and he knows a true villain when he sees it. He is not keeping Oswald around as a informant, because he doesn't play by Gotham City rules where that seems like a reasonable thing to do. The true villain of most Shadow stories is always the person who stands to profit the most from said calamity, and most of the time they operate beneath suspicion. There is 0% chance of him underestimating Oswald the way Oswald prefers to be underestimated.

There are two ways Oswald Cobblepot would walk away from meeting a quick death at the hands of The Shadow. The first would be if he never killed anyone, or did anything that led to anyone's death ever again. He'd have to commit to undoing the ruin he brought onto people's lives and give back as much to the city and his victims as he possibly could. Such was what The Shadow did in Battle of Greed to Rupert Sandersham, a millionaire who got a kick out of ruining others financially. He is not the villain, nor is he a murderer, but The Shadow manipulated and terrorized him into making amends and repaying all the people he destroyed. These would be the best, most impossibly nice terms The Shadow could offer Oswald, along with him serving time and spend his whole life looking over his shoulder when, and if, he gets out.

"Look at yourself, Sandersham! You are wearing stripes! In front of you are bars! Beyond you, the outside world. Regard it as an omen, and make your choice. Amend the past; rectify the wrongs that you have done—or face the future consequences that your present methods will bring you!"

Rupert Sandersham was staring downward. His startled eyes saw the stripes that The Shadow had mentioned: those alternate ribbons of dark and light, that came from the setting sun. They had turned his gray suit into a convict's garb! Could it be that he, Rupert Sandersham, might find himself within a prison cell?- Battle of Greed

And that is not happening. There is not a single version of The Penguin who would accept these terms or accept this as a thing he's going to do. Short of the most kid-friendly media and even then, much as I argue that he should have rules of conduct, I don't think there is a single version of the Penguin who'd balk at murder or who hasn't committed it with little to no remorse. Oswald Cobblepot may carry much bitterness and heartbreak, but The Penguin loves what he is too much to accept being anything else. He isn't scared of any of these terms and would find them deeply absurd, because who is this, trying to tell The Penguin he isn't allowed to rob this thing, or kill that guy getting on his nerves, or ruin that rich asshole over there. The audacity of this laughing clown! As if he didn't have one too many to deal with!

The other way he lives, at least for a while, is if he turns out to be right about the way Gotham City works, and it turns out that he really cannot be removed from his position without far worse things growing as a result. I don't think The Shadow would have issues with the Batman villains individually, but neither do Batman or most superheroes. It's Gotham City that's the real problem here, and it's a problem that Batman hasn't solved in nearly a hundred years, and neither has Superman or any of the billion superheroes in that universe, a problem that will never be solved so long as there's a profit to be made on Batman. The Shadow can and has cleaned cities of organized crime before, usually by manipulating it's players into destroying each other, but even he has limits and Gotham City is no mere gangster-ridden town, much like how the man who claimed it is no mere crimelord either.

So the final matter at play here is whether The Penguin is right, and if so, whether The Shadow can afford to kill The Penguin, when there are other more pressing matters. Because the biggest reason Penguin's able to position himself where he is, as a necessary evil in-universe and a reocurring side character/even protagonist out of it, is by never being the nastiest or most urgently threatening villain in the room, and therefore always being the one that the heroes have to compromise with or have to defeat quickly to get moving. He has weaponized a Kingpin-esque idea that he is a necessary deterrent, because Gotham can always get worse, and everyone else who can take power in Gotham from him is much worse than him, and therefore you save the most innocent lives by allowing him to do his thing under a leash. Refer that line above, about how The Shadow will not suffer the innocent for the guilty.

There has been at least one Shadow story where he's dealt with this dillemma, in Face of Doom, as I elaborate here. The Shadow defeated the Face through taking the long way around, disarming his individual lieutenants, luring them into traps and disguising himself as The Face and all kinds of strategies necessary to checkmate the guy, but in the process also giving The Face enough time to regroup and strategize and target his agent(s). A similar thing happened when he had to take down Benedict Stark, and had to considerably slow down the operations to rescue Rutledge Mann from kidnapping. Issuing any kind of harm or death to The Shadow's agents guarantees him unleashing carnage on you personally, refer to Gangdom's Doom where he obliterates organized crime in Chicago in response to the death of Claude Fellows, but The Penguin can play smart. He can refrain from doing that, and buy himself more time, as The Shadow goes after those that think they have what it takes.

I think The Shadow vs The Penguin would probably pull elements from all of these stories I'd mentioned. If The Penguin is right, The Shadow would have to defeat, or at minimum stall, crime in Gotham City in a way that could then remove The Penguin from the picture, which means The Shadow would have to go through the rest of Batman's Rogues Gallery. Difference being, he's not going to fight those guys forever, he might not even fight them at all.

For The Shadow, he's up against a particularly smart, resourceful and powerful "gentleman of crime". One with personal tragedies and codes of conduct, one who might have even been like the ones he'd been able to reform if life hadn't twisted him, but who at present poses an active danger to the lives of people of the city, and stopping that is the bigger concern. He's taking down not just one crime king, but an empire that the crime king holds at bay, and god knows how many crime kings in the way, and possibly others who would see the innocent suffer for the guilty and keep this stalemate forever. The Shadow doesn't do stalemates, and Oswald Cobblepot is going to repent for all he's done or die, and nothing in between.

For The Penguin? He might very well be in heaven. He's dealing with death itself arriving from nowhere to give him the greatest challenge of all: surviving. Which just so happens to be the thing he does best and takes the most pride in doing. It might even be the kind of thing that makes him feel alive again. Facing down someone every bit the implacable wall of terror the Bat is, but who is less about the martial arts brute showdowns and more about god knows how many other subtler espionage chessplay and psychological mind tricks, and zero hesitation in putting a bullet in his head.

And possibly taking it's sweet time wiping out all of the competition, going through the long list of wiping out all of Oswald's hated rivals and competitors for him, and possibly a few unfortunate friends. Years, decades of playing the long game, gathering his assets, putting pieces in place, keeping his head low, letting the Bats and the others walk over him and forget he's there, and he's rewarded with the game of a lifetime! To be the arch-criminal who took on The Shadow and won! You'd almost think he'd have planned for The Shadow to come after him, and getting very angry if Batman shows up to get on the case to stop this because huur I'm a big selfish brute who wants to hog all the fun, duuuh Oswald you can do better, we don't kill around these parts Shadow huurgh, god, Batman, *waugh* can you BE any more of a self-important killjoy?

Sure, if no divine intervention comes, he's absolutely going to die, he is not walking out of this confrontation alive even if The Shadow has to go through Gotham ten times to get to him. But, you know, the real problem with Icarus was that idiot drowned when he fell, because he forgot to pack a bathing suit.

And you know what penguins do best, right?

*WAUGH WAUGH WAUGH*

#replies tag #the shadow #superheroes #dc comics #batman #the penguin #oswald cobblepot #shadow magazine #pulp heroes

40 notes · View notes

gentrychild · 1 year

Note

For the ask game:

Not DfO AU

All for One decides to retire. He meets Izuku by chance and decides to give him the AfO quirk copy, to see what he'll do with it.

*hisses at the non dfo au*

1 - After he got half murdered by All Might, AFO decides that it's time to retire. But since he cannot abide the thought of not messing things up, he picks a bullied kid with some wrath in his heart and decides to offer him the chance to be someone. He gives him a quirk to steal quirks and leaves his shadow inside it, so it will corrupt the boy and All Might will be forced to kill a child who used to be his number 1 fan.

2.A - It. Completely. Fails.

2.B - Vestige AFO barely has the time to say "Actually, All Might kinda sucks..." that Izuku bitch slaps him into submission. One does not insult All Might in front of the ultimate fanboy.

3 - Izuku is very happy to have such a cool quirk, obtains more quirk, decides to be hero, etc. On the day of the entrance exam, Nedzu calls All Might and tells him that one of the students has the ability to steal quirks and curly hair and so on. Izuku, after the exam, is asked to go to the principal office, which makes him freak out because he isn't even enrolled in UA, how can he be already called into the principal's office??? But he explains that yes, a strange man gave him a very cool quirk.

4 - No one is willing to believe that AFO could just give quirks without asking for something in return (meanwhile Vestige AFO is screaming to be let out, please, it's full of All Might merch in there, he will be good!) so they share a glance where they both agree that Izuku is probably AFO's secret lovechild and that Izuku doesn't need to know that.

5 - Through his first month in UA, Izuku keeps meeting people, heroes and villains alike, who immediately squint and ask if he is AFO's secret lovechild. Even Todoroki asked it! He keeps telling them that no, that's not the case, he has two parents that he loves very much, and neither of them is a supervillain, but as Todoroki keeps pointing out, one of his parents is "out of country" and "never around" because "working abroad".

+1 - One the day of PT meeting, Izuku arrives with both parents. One is Inko. The other is Star and Stripe.

#5 headcanons game

456 notes · View notes

rachiecrown · 6 months

Note

I dont fully remember what the og ask was but im p sure it was smth like

Hotguy and Cuteguy fighting for mumbos (a civilian) attention

Could be villain v hero, vigilante v hero, vigilante v villain, both on the same team

HEEHEEHOO THIS was so fun to write honestly :33 freakin have some villain Grian and hero Scar fighting over the silly civilian reporter with a mustache they both have crushes on!!

Also btw I used Xelqua for Grian instead of Cute Guy cause I feel like the resident supervillain would not appreciate having matching names with his arch nemesis.

---

Today was a perfectly average day. The temperature was nice, not too hot to sweat, not too cold to wear a coat. People made their way to and from work, here and there from places in the shopping district. Traffic wasn't too bad and the sun was about to reach its solar noon.

Everything, today, was normal, and Mumbo hoped to the high heavens above it would stay that way. Now, that was an odd wish for someone of his occupation, but nowadays all Mumbo wished for was just a bit of normalcy.

Mumbo was a journalist, you see, but not on mundane topics like coffee shops or pigeons (not like they were boring, no, they were plenty interesting in their own ways). He followed the stories and fights between heroes and villains as up close and personal as possible, even risking his life several times in the process.

At first, it had been an exciting job to follow fights both big and small with his fancy camera in one hand and his motorcycle's handles in the other, weaving through traffic dangerously and filming the way the most powerful hero and villain fought together above traffic. The hero lived up to his name, Hot Guy, with his majestic hair and his somehow beautiful scars, and the villain, Xelqua, was stunning with his white wings and graceful movements.

It had all gone downhill the day Mumbo got caught between a violent fight between the two. His adrenaline had peaked that day, he thought he was really gonna die! But for some inexplicable reason Hot Guy and Xelqua stopped their fighting, showing some sort of immediate interest in the journalist. Mumbo honestly believed he would never be scared again after that day.

Weeks and months passed, either one or the other of the powered menaces finding Mumbo and causing all sorts of mischief to surround him. Three months ago, all Mumbo wanted was a shot as a journalist to earn good money.. but today, all he wanted was a sense of peace and normalcy.

"Well, well, well." Well, there goes that wish. "If it isn't mister Mumbo." Ohh, great, he knows my name now. Mumbo turned around slowly to face the one and only Xelqua. The villain had his hands folded behind his back, his wings spread behind him as he took a few steps towards Mumbo.

"Well well whoopsie, looks like I'm in the wrong place at the wrong time." Mumbo muttered, turning back around to continue walking. He was stopped by silky gloves grabbing his shoulders and Xelqua putting his chin on Mumbo's shoulder from behind. "Don't be a party pooper, pretty boy." Xelqua cooed. Mumbo just slipped out of his grasp. "Listen, I'm sure you understand time constraints, I have somewhere to be." Mumbo lied.

Xelqua basically wilted at this. "You're saying you don't want to spend time with me?"

"When did I ever want to do that?" Mumbo shot back.

"Well hello there!" A third voice sounded.

Mumbo wanted to scream.

Hot Guy approached the two with a lopsided smile, his hand going to Xelqua's face and pushing him away. "Is this horrible, horrible villain bothering you? Do you need a safe escort to wherever you're going?" Hot Guy wondered. Mumbo glared at the two. "I have a lunch to get to before I get hungrier. Now if you'll excuse me-"

Mumbo turned on his heel, only for both of his arms to be grabbed by two pairs of hands. "I'll go with you!" Xelqua shouted, siding up to Mumbo. Hot Guy pulled Mumbo away from Xelqua, picking him up bridal style. "No, I'll get you where you need to go, safe and sound!" He proclaimed. Mumbo just sighed. "Here we go again.."

Hot Guy turned and ran the second Xelqua reached for Mumbo. "So where do you need to go, Mumbo?" He asked, his mechanical glider unfolding and letting him take flight. Oh, wonderful, you know my name too. Well, as long as this gets me where I'm going and you leave me alone, I'll accept it. Mumbo thought. "Shopping district, food court on Ninth Street." Mumbo said. At least this was free transportation.

Mumbo looked around and spotted Xelqua, soaring after Hot Guy with an upset look on his face. Mumbo sighed. "Xelqua on your seven." He exasperated, in which Hot Guy turned quickly around a corner and set Mumbo down. "I will defend you, beautiful citizen!!" He shouted boisterously, striking a pose just seconds before Xelqua tackled him

The two went tumbling into an alley. Mumbo, truly, was unfazed. He snapped a photo of the two wrestling for the news before he turned and walked towards his lunch spot, which was luckily only a block away now.

All I want is one day. One day! But noo, these two utter buffoons have to bother the ever living bits out of me. I'm chuffed, and not in the good way today. Mumbo's internal dialogue spoke as he entered the shop and made his order. He sat at a table near the back. Ugh, he couldn't even enjoy window views anymore because of those two..

Whatever. He had his food, and that was a good thing. Customers came and went as Mumbo filled up, slowly becoming more content with his day again..

..until Xelqua entered the shop.

There were shouts and screams from civilians as Xelqua spotted Mumbo and made his way towards the back. Mumbo would've let himself faceplant into his dish if he wouldn't get dirty. Xelqua stopped in front of his table and held up a thorny rose that was so very clearly picked from someone's rose bush.

"I'm sorry about Hot Guy ruining our special day," Xelqua said, "please take this rose!"

Mumbo stared at Xelqua incredulously. "What kind of stunt is this then!?" He blurted out. Xelqua pushed the rose forward. "I'm not taking the flower! It's full of thorns!" Mumbo then shouted.

The shop's door chimed again as Hot Guy entered, sauntering his way over to Mumbo and shoving Xelqua out of the way with a bouquet of red carnations. Hot Guy placed the bouquet in Mumbo's arms and procedurally messed up the mustached man's hair in the process.

"Is he bothering you?" Hot Guy basically cooed. Xelqua squawked in offense and grabbed Hot Guy's hair, pulling it, causing the hero to shout and grab back at Xelqua. Mumbo simply watched apathetically. Weeks ago, he would be flustered beyond no end, probably folding in on himself and unable to properly take the attention, but he came to realize in this moment that he had become desensitized to the antics the hero and villain put up.

Goodness, these two made Mumbo feel less like himself with each encounter. He dropped the flowers on the table and stood, snatching up his food and walking out as the two fools fought behind him. Being around them really just drained his energy, now.

It was hours later when Xelqua pulled off the stupidest stunt of them all, and Mumbo found himself stuck in an abandoned apartment in a pile of pillows with the villain curled around his torso. Despite his apathy towards Xelqua and Hot Guy fighting over him and getting him flowers, he could at least admit that his face felt a bit hot at how Xelqua's head rested on his chest and how his leg crossed over his waist.

Mumbo could only groan in defeat at the desperate antics of the avian. Whatever. He could maybe give in just a little bit, right? Not like this would matter once Hot Guy found this place and distracted Xelqua enough so he could make his escape.

Hesitantly, Mumbo let his hand hover over Xelqua's head. His mind distantly brought up the idea of pulling Xelqua's hair to get him off, but he mentally shot that down, as that would really only make the avian angry. He was a highly dangerous villain, after all.

He let his hand settle on Xelqua's halfway up hood. It would be a small gesture for anyone else, but to Mumbo it was a huge step of faith that the villain wouldn't get even more lovey over him.

Thinking back, this was probably a mistake.

Mumbo and Xelqua jumped as the door slammed open. "So this is where you've taken him!! You scoundrel!! You menace!!" Hot Guy shouted, pointing at the now incredulous Xelqua who held his head up with a look of shock on his half covered face. "How did you even find us!?" Xelqua shouted, which Hot Guy marched over and shoved the screen of his phone in Xelqua's face. "I tracked his phone!"

Mumbo cringed at that. Is that how Hot Guy's able to find me so easily? He was grabbed and lifted by Hot Guy, which Xelqua shrieked and grabbed Mumbo's arm. This quickly resulted in a tug of war with Mumbo as the rope.

"He's mine! I had him first!"

"guys-"

"Let go of him, you fiend!!"

"you both, please-"

"I kidnapped him fair and square!"

"Well I'm here to rescue him!!"

"BOTH OF YOU!!!'

Mumbo yanked his arms away from the two and pulled in on himself. He was about to make a horribly stupid negotiation. "You two either get along and share me on that pillow nest right there-" he pointed past Xelqua, "or none of you will receive any positive emotion from me! Ever!"

The hero and villain both stared at the journalist, and something inside Mumbo's mind screamed at him for saying such a stupid thing. He already began to get nervous by the time the two shared a glance.

"Fiiiine.." Xelqua rolled his eyes, crossing his arms. Hot Guy kicked idly at the floor with a pout. "..maybe I could share.." he mumbled out.

And that was how Mumbo found himself more flustered than he'd like to admit in the grasps of two extremely powerful people who were just so oddly infatuated with him. Xelqua laid with his head tucked under Mumbo's arm, his left arm over Mumbo's stomach and his legs linked around Mumbo's right thigh. Hot Guy had opted to tuck Mumbo's left side into his chest with his right arm over Mumbo's chest and his left pillowing Mumbo's head. One of Xelqua's wings covered the three of them together, blanketing them in a sort of nice warmth that Mumbo didn't know could come from wings.

The journalist could practically feel the animosity radiating off the two, but he could really care less about their feelings for each other. He rested one hand in Xelqua's hair, and the other on Hot Guy's hand. Both the villain and hero made pleased noises at the touches. Mumbo rolled his eyes. "Goodness, the both of you are complete dorks."

Mumbo would just pretend that his cheeks weren't bright pink.

60 notes · View notes

son1c · 6 months

Text

the thing about fibula is that eggman didn't pick him to be his guinea pig for necromancy for a reason. literally, he just randomly chose a grave to rob. fibula wasn't special... he just got "lucky." for the first time in his life. and isn't it ironic? this guy, who spent his whole life working so, so hard... for nothing... falls into the hands of a supervillain Just Because.

it's like spider-man, but twisted. you know?

and while fibula is mostly indifferent about eggman's cause, he pretty much instantly gets attached to eggman himself. because he's the one who gave him this second chance at life--without even being asked. it's the only time someone has ever offered fibula something so meaningful, and he holds onto it with all of his undead strength.

so, yes; fibula owes eggman. but he also just wants to prove that he deserves this second chance. to make eggman proud. because that old hardworking, people-pleaser attitude that fibula carried with him all his life isn't truly dead... it's just found a new source of motivation.

and the best part? eggman DOES appreciate fibula... for what he can do for the empire. finally, someone sees worth in him, and it solidifies his loyalty to a man who, in life, he certainly would have despised.

#fibula the hedgehog #tl;dr guy who spent his whole life vying for appreciation suddenly finds himself valued by an evil doer. and suddenly being evil ain't #lookin so bad!#i think fibula seeing eggman as a sort of father figure would be so sad also. because he never knew his real father. and obviously #eggman is NOT the father type. all of his metal ''children'' are so so twisted. after all...#but that sort of desperate desire to Be Something just hits a little harder when the person he's trying to impress is someone he views as a #surrogate father. yk

65 notes · View notes

oliveroctavius · 2 years

Note

I'm told the old Romita era comics made a number of failed attempts to advance Gwen, and one of them involved taking some of MJ's traits and giving them to Gwen. After Gwen passed away, Gwen then started to be romanticized because she was dead. Did Gwen ever have a personality unique to her or was she always just MJ-lite?

Well... Gwen came first.

The traits she adopted from MJ (at Stan Lee's request) were mostly cool-kid jargon and fashion sense, which are things it makes sense for friends to pick up from each other. They even manage to play it off as cute in-universe characterization.

But they act and think very differently! If anything... MJ was Gwen-lite. Gwen at least got some thought bubbles. MJ started as just eccentric, hot, and self-centered because--well--it was funny.

They have separate lives. Gwen comes from an upper-class household with a cop for a dad and comes off as preppy and sometimes entitled. MJ lives with a working-class aunt and acts more alt-culture liberal but usually isn't on anyone's side but her own. Gwen is getting a scientific degree alongside Peter. MJ is following a long-shot dream of making it big by taking classes at community college. Gwen is Ditko flavored, MJ is Romita flavored.

Gwen is direct and confrontational where MJ is sarcastic and evasive. Gwen will insult someone she likes to get their attention while MJ will flatter people she dislikes just for kicks. Gwen has an investigative bent where MJ has a minding-my-own-damn-business field. Gwen checks in on friends' mental health, angry-cries fairly easily, and asks for help when she needs it. MJ would rather die than have an Unauthorized Feeling.

Gwen is fiercely loyal and cares a lot about things being Fair; she'll get in a stranger's face over something MJ would laugh off. MJ is now known as a combat pragmatist who can hold her own against supervillains, but people forget that Gwen would come at people with her BARE HANDS when she got mad. Just like Peter<3

"boring good girl vs cool bad girl" is the flattest way to read the girls' characterization and I'm sad it's reduced to that in people's minds. I say everything in this post as a huge 616 MJ apologist: Gwen wasn't left behind because she was the two-dimensional one.

#gwen stacy #mj #asks #it took a little while for gwen to grow on me but I will not see her slandered

417 notes · View notes

kineticpenguin · 4 months

Text

A frustrating thing about the liberal need to treat Trump as a supervillain is that everything about him must be treated as outlandish. When his defense argued that he should not be prosecuted because he used to be President, it's actually a fairly reasonable angle. That's the norm that existed for a very, very long time: to ensure the smooth transition of power, and with the understanding that a President may need to do something questionable for the greater good, you do not fuck with former Presidents. On the surface, saying "what next, going after W over WMDs or Obama for drone strikes?" is a perfectly decent argument. "You gave those guys a pass, so how come my client isn't extended the same privilege?"

On one hand, I think it's still a bit weak. They wouldn't have brought this to trial if they hadn't already decided to dispense with that norm. On the other, I think it's completely laughable that the guy whose whole schtick was breaking norms to get what he wants, now wants to be protected by one.

In a way, it reminds me of the dialog from A Man for All Seasons about giving the Devil the benefit of the law:

Roper: "So! Now you'd give the Devil benefit of law!" More: "Yes, what would you do? Cut a great road through the law to get after the Devil?" Roper: "Yes! I'd cut down every law in England to do that!" More: "Oh? And when the last law was down and the Devil turned round on you, where would you hide, Roper, the laws all being flat? This country is planted thick with laws, from coast to coast. Man's laws, not God's, and if you cut them down -and you're just the man to do it- do you really think you could stand upright in the wind that would blow then? Yes, I'd give the Devil benefit of law for my own safety's sake."

Of course, norms are not laws. They are tacit mutual agreements, much more fragile, and in this case, it served to circumvent the law. But for someone like Trump, who happily smashed down every norm that got in his way, well... the wind sure is picking up, and he might not like what he finds staring him down.

38 notes · View notes

aihoshiino · 6 months

Text

chapter 131 thoughts

PLEASE NOTE BEFORE READING: because of the content of this chapter, i will unavoidably have to discuss CSA, grooming, victim blaming and parental abuse and the long term effects of surviving these things. the chapter in question does not depict any of the above but reveals that this is an aspect of Ai's history we were not privy to before and as The Ai Guy, this is something I can't NOT dig into. Basically, stay safe and if you're not in the headspace for it, I'll see you next chapter!

First off though, it's immediately striking to me how quickly the lines are being blurred between the movie's fiction and Ai's reality and how unclear it is when we transition from one to the other. The narration appears to be picking up from Ai's DVD but the visuals are very clearly from the movie as we can tell when Melt shows up as Ichigo. Not only that, but when Ai is introducer to the other B-Komachi girls, we see Mei portrayed as being there even though we know for a fact via 45510 that the founding members were Ai, Takamine, Watanabe and Nino. Over and over, we are shown that the movie is increasingly breaking away from the actual story of Ai's life out of a need to dramatize and fictionalize it into something that can be commodified.

In short, even though this is the supposedly 'real story' of Ai's life, it's just the same shit over and over again. Slicing her fundamental humanity into hunks of meat that can be prepared into something for the public to tear into. That this tragedy is being perpetuated personally by people who supposedly love and wanted the best for her really got me doin the Tragedy Enjoyer boogie

enjoy that one single joke btw i get the feeling this post is going to be pretty light on the yuks

Speaking of inaccuracies, of particular note is the way this retelling clashes with Viewpoint B in a way that feels extremely intentional -- if this was a straightforward retcon, I don't think the people behind OnK would be so far out of their way to make that story as widely accessible as it now is (the audio drama and bundling it with the Spica novel). 15YL depicts Ai as running away and conveniently falling in with Saitou as soon as she got to Tokyo and being whisked out of the children's home and placed in someone's care at great cost to Saitou, all before she formally joined B-Komachi. The reality is so much more dull and mundane: Ai just stayed in the children's home even as she worked as an idol until she aged out of the system. But sad, commonplace reality like that doesn't sell movies.

This especially becomes clear when we finally get to the real meat of this chapter and the introduction of a character whose presence has lingered on the fringes of the story since the prologue arc: Ai's mother, Ayumi Hoshino.

Ai's mother has been a dark shadow lingering in the corner's of Ai's history ever since the start of the story. In both the side stories, her abuse and abandonment of Ai is emphasized and we know that Ai experienced horrific physical abuse at her hands, likely hand in hand with emotional abuse and neglect. Ai is a child who describes herself as a 'people hating liar' who has never loved or been loved by anyone. It paints an incredibly grim portrait of her past and her mother was a boogeyman to such an extent that I'd even seen people speculate she may have had a hand in her own daughter's death.

But of course, the sad and mundane reality isn't quite so dramatic. Abusers very rarely look or act like cartoonish monsters. Ayumi Hoshino isn't some Saturday morning supervillain who cackles evilly as she gloats about making her daughter's life a misery. She insists that she loved Ai and that of course she planned to go back and get her daughter in the same breath as confessing to violently abusing Ai -- AN EIGHT YEAR OLD CHILD -- because she was jealous that her adult boyfriend had taken a sexual interest in her.

I genuinely can't overstate how much this reveal shook me. Based on the way this is phrased, I do not Ai's stepfather followed through on his intent, but I have absolutely no doubt that she was made aware of it given that Ayumi confesses that she began to physically abuse Ai out of jealousy and that the family fell apart as a result. I'd picked up on a lot of stray threads relating to this idea in Ai's behaviour but I had never followed it through to the end result of 'Ai narrowly avoided CSA and was abused by her mother for it'. So many aspects of Ai's behaviour suddenly click sharply into place with this piece of information. Her fucked up relationship with her own totally normal sexual desires, her tendency to blame herself first before anyone else when things go wrong for her - how is she supposed to do anything else when she was abused and then blamed for her own abuse by her own mother?

It's also so, so telling that even as Ayumi cries and paints herself as the martyr in this situation, she admits she would do it all over again and centers Ai as the reason for their marriage falling apart, Ai's beauty and her growing into a woman as the cause of their issues rather than centering her own anger and jealousy or, you know, blaming her boyfriend for being a fucking pedophile. Though she cries and talks about 'atonement', Ayumi doesn't mourn her daughter's suffering but focuses on her own pain and her own regrets. It's so frustrating to read because it's real. Real toxic parents are like this. Real abusers behave like this. Ayumi Hoshino is, as I've previously discussed, yet another example in OnK of a mother who failed her child when she was needed most and it says so, so much about what an incredibly strong and kind person Ai is that she broke that chain and was such an incredible loving mother to Aqua and Ruby.

One last thing before I move on: something that has been a quiet underlying motif of Ai's tragedy for a while is the ways she, as a child, was often... is there a word that's the opposite of infantilization? Adultification, I guess? The point being, she was often objectified, sexualized and evaluated as an adult woman despite being a child. Ayumi's confession takes this implicit idea and makes it explicit and textual: Ayumi did not see her daughter as a child being victimized but as an adult woman to be evaluated and destroyed as a sexual rival. Even before she became an idol, this enforced adultification has been inflicted on Ai as a method of abuse.

oh god. jesus, right. other things happened in this chapter.

I won't lie i did the fattest eyeroll imaginable when I saw Akane hanging around outside lol. Her not revolving around Aqua was nice for the, what, three chapters while it lasted?

maybe I'm being unfair because I think it would be weird for her not to be interfering after she did her death note ass I'LL STOP YOUR PLAN speech back before the arc kicked off but I was so, so glad to see Akane doing literally anything in this story that wasn't solely about Aqua and this feels like some horrible foreshadowing that she is once again going to be reduced to orbiting Aqua because Akasaka is terrified of letting her do anything else. can we PLEASE get some akane focus that isn't to do with Aqua!!! I'm on my fucking hands and knees here bros

break next week.... oshi no ko is my favourite biweekly manga

#oshi no ko #oshi no posting #ai hoshino #hoshino ai #onk spoilers

52 notes · View notes

cairoscene · 5 months

Note

Headcanon C -> khoa ?

i think this is asking for the third one but i'm going to take the opportunity to do all the headcanons for khoa hehe

realistic: khoa does not know and does not care about bruce's kids. which ones are adopted, which ones aren't, which are honorary, what their vigilante names are, what they look like etc. he simply could not care less. sends bruce a dick pic after 4 months of not speaking only for bruce to be like bruce: ?????? bruce: I'm at a parent-teacher conference. khoa: what, are you a teacher now? bruce: I'm the parent??

not realistic but hilarious: khoa doesn't know any of the kids, except tim. i've talked about this before but khoa loves tim. he thinks he is such a little weirdo. i think tim has a certain "at any minor inconvenience i will become the supervillain to end all supervillains" energy that khoa deeply admires and wants to encourage.

heart-crushing and awful, but fun to inflict on friends: this is less of a headcanon and more of a bone i have to pick with canon, but khoa is not a psychopath; but he has latched on to the diagnosis he received and uses it to explain the alienation he experiences from other people. diagnosing an 8 year old child a psychopath is a pretty wildly unethical thing to do, considering we still just don't know a lot when it comes to child psychology. children can exhibit traits like lack of empathy, lack of remorse, low impulse control, antisocial behavior etc but the immediate diagnosis is not psychopathy. and bc of social stigma, such a diagnosis at such a young age would do more damage to him. i get what canon was trying to do here: create a character who is bruce's foil in so many ways. since bruce cares so much and has such empathy, let's make a psychopath be his best friend, someone who has no empathy. but khoa does have empathy, particularly toward bruce. this is turning in to more of a rant but the headcanon is: khoa isn't a psychopath. he was prematurely diagnosed one, and it has since informed what he tells himself he can and can't have, which is why he so often self-sabotages his relationship with bruce and keeps himself at such a distance from everyone else.

unrealistic, but I will disregard canon about it because I reject canon reality and substitute my own: khoa made his peace with the fact that bruce's mission was going to get him killed, back when he first discovered he wanted to kiss bruce in paris 19XX but really, khoa will do anything to prevent that death from happening. through all the years and their various turf wars and skirmishes, all of their ideological differences and arguments, khoa has secretly enmeshed himself into bruce's life so the moment it looks like bruce is finally going to sacrifice himself to his cause, khoa can be there to stop him, consequences be damned. he'll be there to pull bruce back by the cowl and put him back in his place, just like he did when they were little more than children, and bruce will have to live with the knowledge that he doesn't get to die. his life is in khoa's hands. this is unrealistic bc DC will continue to kill bruce off whenever they want and they will forget and frankly already have forgotten about khoa but i never will <3

[send me a character and i'll tell you headcanons]

#answering this got my ghostbat cpu fan whirring like i'm about to take off btw #headcanon meme #minhkhoa khan #ghostmaker #ghost-maker

37 notes · View notes

derinthescarletpescatarian · 1 year

Text

Do you wanna read a new web serial?

Of course you do! Everyone loves web serials. What? You're not really into web serials? Haha, what a silly joke. Seriously now though, have some web serials.

Curse Words: Spellcasting for Fun and Prophet

Kayden is a trans boy with a curse in his heart. Since he was a baby, the most important thing in his life has been keeping it dormant. Until the day he fails, until the day it wakes up, and suddenly, Kayden's mere presence is a threat to his friends, family, and anyone else he meets.

When a mage visits his house promising to teach him to control it, it sounds like a trap. All he has to do is accept a scholarship to the world's most prestigious magic school, away from his family, away from any legal or government protection, away from his life. Knowing the reputation that mages have for killing particularly dangerous cursed people, he knows that it has to be a trap. But what else can he do?

Whisked away to a fun magical world of invisible dragons, mysterious lake monsters, and a teacher who looks way too much like a Disney supervillain to not be evil, Kayden needs to work fast to get a grip on what's going on. Because somebody's trying to kill his favourite teacher and frame him for it, and if he can't understand the situation fast enough to bring the perpetrator to justice, he might be stepping into an entirely different kind of trap that he's woefully unprepared for.

Oh yeah, and the entire world is also in danger. He should probably do something about that.

Time to Orbit: Unknown

Aspen Greaves is a sociologist and pop science author who doesn't even like going to the moon, let alone deep space, so they're the last person who should have been picked to be put in chronostasis and launched at a distant star in humanity's first attempt to colonise space outside of our own solar system. But they were one of the five thousand colonists picked, so they go to sleep, expecting to be woken up in orbit around a new planet.

They do not expect to wake up in the middle of space, five years from their destination, on a broken ship with no living crew and a glitchy AI. Yet here they are, with a new goal: survive long enough to get the ship full of colonists safely to their new planet. With no astronaut training, no knowledge of engineering, and only a basic education in biology, this is a lot harder than it sounds, and Aspen will have to unravel mystery after mystery to figure out what went wrong if they want to have any hope of not dying in deep space and taking the whole ship with them.

Charlie MacNamara: Galactic Ace (on long hiatus)

Charlie was a single mum out taking some photos for her online art course when she was unexpectedly kidnapped by aliens. This, naturally, caused somewhat of a disruption in her life.

All Charlie wants to do is get home to her kids, but this isn't on the cards for her captors. She's been shanghaied by a pirate ship under the command of the mysterious runaway royal the Faceless Princess, so with an alien hivemind made of tiny flying spiders as her translator and guide, she gets to work learning enough about the ship to change their minds -- by force, if necessary.

But she's become embroiled in a struggle much bigger than the fate of one little planet like Earth, and it's going to take all of her intelligence, charisma and extremely mediocre social skills to stay alive. Because Charlie is learning that in the big, wide universe out there, nothing puts someone in more danger than being a human.

143 notes · View notes

littleliterarylesbian · 9 months

Text

Superhero/Supervillain au teehee (violence warning)

James can't believe what he's seeing in front of him. Regulus is there. Regulus stands in the middle of the hideout they'd been trying to find for years of the villain who makes his life a living hell. And Regulus is alive and standing right there and breathing.

James can't believe it, he saw Regulus die, he held him close when his breathing stopped and when he regretted his choices in not saving him. But what choice did he have? The lives of so many others were at stake.

Regulus looks up at him, tears in his eyes, and James runs to him, holding him close and kissing anywhere he could reach. His skin is as cold as he remembers.

"You're alive, you're here, you're- oh god-" He chokes on his words as his own tears fall, "Oh god, I missed you so fucking much."

Regulus reaches and cups his face, and James can't get over the look of surprise and joy and love there. He doesn't think he could ever let this go, not after the first time, not again.

Regulus smiles, soft and small and just for him and James can't pay attention to anything else.

"I missed you too, so much Jamie."

And Regulus brings him in, fully connects their lips for a longer kiss then the quick pecks James showered him with before. James felt like he's on top of the world with this man in his arms. Then James feels pain. The sting hits him out of nowhere and he grunts, breaking the kiss and looking down as he sees Regulus' hand on the handle of the knife that is now lodged blade deep into his side.

He's so confused. "Wha-"

Regulus cuts him off, sliding his hand from James' cheek, to his jaw. He squeezes and James' eyesight swims. Regulus' other hand is still on the knife, twisting. It burns.

"I'm sorry you had to find out this way." Regulus... He truly does look sad about that, but James still has no idea what's happening. The pieces in front of him just refuse to click together.

"Truly, I am, but watching you walk away from me was probably my last straw." He pulls out the knife, twisting as he goes, and it hurts, it hurts so fucking bad. He'll be fine, probably, in a few hours, but for now all he wants to do is double over in pain, lay on the floor, and figure out what the fuck is happening. He refuses to let the pieces connect. It can't be.

But Regulus speaks again.

"I expected you to find this place sooner or later, you're actually way later than I thought. But I suppose your plans don't work half as well when I'm not there."

"Reg, what-" His voice comes out choked, and he can't tell if it's from the pain or Regulus walking away as he falls to the floor, picking up a bag that was on the desk, the desk filled with computers that look long fried and dead. They'll get no information from this. Nothing unless he figures out why Regulus is alive and here.

Regulus' stops in front of him, leaning down and placing his free hand on James' cheek. The smile he has now is mocking and cold and hardly even a trace of warmth left. He can't stand it. This isn't his Reggie, it can't be. This is just that evil fucking bastard taking his form and using it against James, it has to be, he's done things like it before. The Regulus he knew and loved would never do this.

"I'll see you soon. Don't disappoint me next time Potter." He taps a finger on James' cheek, the chill of the rings he would wear are still there, and his hands are just as cold as they always were. But he's different. And James doesn't know why.

Regulus' stands up, fixing his tie with a hand that is still stained with blood and walks out the door, leaving James bloodied and crumpled on the floor. His form morphs as he leaves, shuttering away from the boy he loves to someone else entirely. Regulus could do that too, he remembers.

James breathes in deep, whining as such a task pulls in the wound, and he brings up the hand not clutching his side to his earpiece. His vision is still foggy. Knowing Regulus, or at least knowing the bitch masquerading as Regulus, he probably coated the blade with something. James wouldn't be surprised.

"I have news." is all he gets out before he shuts down completely. The voice of Sirius yelling in his ear is the sound that follows him to sleep.

48 notes · View notes

dycefic · 2 years

Note

I love all your work, and especially your Evil Mart stuff, but I noticed the Evil Mart sequel used a stereotype I see a lot, where not only are there genuinely decent & responsible people on the villain side but also all the heroes we see are either assholes or victims of said assholes. What would happen if a superhero in civvies walked into Evil Mart just because they were doing shopping for a villain friend who was out sick (like WW getting Cheetah a rabbit box)?

Honestly, it's unlikely that anyone would notice. I've mentioned that henchmen, families of henchmen and villains, and non-aligned nonhumans also shop at Evil-Mart. If someone not immediately identifiable as the enemy walked in and told the greeter 'Hi, I'm here to pick up (item) for (villain)' or even 'hi, (henchman) told me I could get the best sensitive-stomach catfood here', they'd probably just get directed to the right aisle. As long as the hero's bright enough to keep their head down and be polite, they wouldn't have any trouble with the staff.

Even a known superhero could canonically get an online order (though they probably wouldn't be allowed into the physical store), if they managed to get a referral from a union member in good standing, or a supervillain was willing to vouch for them, or they just had a good enough reason. If a hero's just adopted, say, a strange green baby that eats a lot of frogs (I've been rewatching the Mandalorian, in case it wasn't obvious), clearly they're not going to get the finest organically-raised live frogs at their local supermarket, and nobody at Evil-Mart gets judgy about strange dietary requirements.

The Evil-Mart stories do come from a skewed viewpoint, in that the narrator is a trained henchperson from a family of henches, and therefore isn't a big fan of superheroes, thus a lot of the stereotype. Most people do tend to think of themselves as being on the 'right' side, even literal card-carrying bad guys. And given that the henches are almost all union, while the good guys are almost all freelancers, well, that's a thing too.

All my superhero stories are set in the same universe, though, and there are good and bad heroes as well as villains - Dog Fox, for example, probably shops at Evil-Mart even after he decides to switch sides after he starts dating Guarde, though he'd get crap about it. Tank could probably get in after helping Nemea out, although he's so recognizable that he'd probably get thrown out for causing too many fist-fights in the aisles. And there are supervillains who wouldn't be welcome - supervillains who treat their henchmen badly can't expect good service from a union store. (My Patrons also got a non-Evil-Mart look at some of the less good 'heroes' not long ago, in an exclusive story called 'The Man With No Name'.)

Mostly, though, if you know enough to know where Evil-Mart is, and how to get in, it's assumed that you're allowed to be there unless you're a very obvious enemy.

#welcome to evil-mart #dyce's supers universe

581 notes · View notes

xxxdragonfucker69xxx · 5 months

Text

The Abyssals crowdfunding campaign closes in about 24 hours.

I did not get to hourinblack all their charms. As penance, I am going to skim just the end of each charmtree, and tell you about the biggest, coolest power of each tree. I am also going to do this for necromancy because i am a necromantic slut.

ARCHERY:

World-Wounding Darkness: Shoot a hole in the world, leaving a black hole that sucks people in. This isn't actually near the end of the tree but it caught my eye and I was like holy fuck.

Heart-Numbing Spike: When you shoot someone, wound their ability to care about things.

Last Days Portent: Shoot out the fucking sun. Kills the lights over the battlefield. If you're being goth about it, kill the lights for miles around.

ATHLETICS

Mountains Become Dust: Physical scale is no longer a limit on feats of scale or destruction.

Light-Killing Stride: Move faster than someone. Didn't ask how fast they moved, you move faster than them.

Temple-Shattering Ruination Curse: Destroy a building to curse the land, making it shadowy and blighted and supernaturally scary. if you were being intense about it, it becomes an abyssal demesne, a permanent upwelling of goth energy

AWARENESS

All-Seeing Overlord's Lair: Extend your senses throughout your stronghold, you can't be surprised inside and your ghostly sentinels (you know, the wraiths you cast to patrol for you) can roam throughout

Morbid Inspiration Witness: Find inspiration in " the morbid, the eerie, or the darkly beautiful: an albatross dropping dead in flight, three black cats crossing the same street in sequence, lightning striking a distant temple." That inspiration grants you bonuses on various projects, and also makes you care deeply about it. This is enhanced by further charms like Fervent Caprice Fever and Unrelenting Obsession Genius

Piercing Gaze of the Unmaker: Pick a place within, like 20 miles. You see it like it's your lair and you're there. Or maybe you want to cast your gaze on your rival instead? they are going to feel a crawling sensation up their spine from your gaze through <3

BRAWL

Illustrative Overkill Technique: When you kill or incapacitate a guy, it's so fucked up you can use it to threaten anyone else. Or like blow up a building or whatever

Explosive Gore Eulogy (!!): When you do that ^ you can also use their corpse as a weapon. Jesus christ.

Life-Annihilating Castigation: Pyreflame your attack and multiply (!!) damage by your opponent's wound penalty. If you get their ass they explode with pyreflame from within, and if it kills them their ghost burns up on the spot

Void Avatar Embodiment: Now with 0% prana! Envelop yourself in the void, dealing aggravated damage on touch and withering ranged attacks away. Also you're as close to death as you want to be <3

BUREAUCRACY

Hateful Scorn Panopticon: when you use Accursed Overlord Authority to inspire hatred in your followers, you can sense when any of them encounter your enemy, and where.

Rotting Palace Proclamation: Reveal that you embedded a traitor in a rival organization. Or was it someone we knew all along?

Iron Tyrant Reign: When you do that Accursed Overlord thing, if it's a Defining Principle you can carve it into the world as an Old Law: everyone who hears or reads it must follow, words bleed through coverings or hover like fire in the air, the mindless dead automatically obey

Suffer No Betrayal: When you do the Panopticon, you can also count people who've broken your laws as enemies. You can immediately gain Defining Hatred... and possibly carve that as an old law with Iron Tyrant Reign? That isn't in the charm im just reading between the lines

CRAFT

Malicious Mechanism Mastery: Jesus this one is a cartoon supervillain bit. Reveal that an enemy has stumbled into your trap! If it's a corpse-based trap, it's worse!

Fivefold Malice Curse: Lay a curse on something you make, for instance if its bearer breaks an oath or acts against one of your principles. and if they trigger the curse they get blasted by your Bleak Expiations, aka Abyssal Limit Break aka You Cannot Escape The Goth

Soul-Tarnishing Treasure: Instead of an overt curse you can cause it to inspire vice, a sword demanding bloodshed or a chalice inspiring drink. You can't be totally free of this unless you give the object up

Drawn to Death's Beauty: When you use Magnificent Cenotaph Allure to imbue something with emotion, you can also fill it with the mesmerizing lure of death, so that people wander towards it like a will o wisp and cant look away

Betrayal-Spurring Gifts: Annatar their shit socially if you've given them something you've made. &btw cursing that shit is free

DODGE

Hanging Shrike Focus: Dodge up into the air and float back down, or fall on your enemies maybe

Queen of Killers Pirouette (!!): dodge so good you turn it back on them, like fucking zelda's neutral-B in smash

Tenebrous Cloud Dissolution: DRACULA FOG its fucking dracula fog

Breath-Seizing Mist: Hey how would you like it if dracula fog was inside your lungs

Icy Sepulcher Entombment: When you cause someone to despair at hitting you the ice literally grows around your heart and then freezes them over. The freezing stuff is actually pretty early in the tree but this is setup for

In Awful Glory Crowned: When you bring them to despair with Frozen Fears Blossom you can also drain their Willpower, and if you drain it all they become obedient to you. Unless they're unimportant in which case they might just fall over dead, turn into a ghost, and then be obedient to you

INTEGRITY

Freedom In Chains: If forced to act against death's chivalry or your principles, brood about it, then break free

Clarity in Hatred: Shaping defense if you're mad enough

Immortal Malevolence: If you've enshrined an intimacy with Eternal Enmity Approach, you can care so much that you simply do not die. Wake up the next sunset completely healed, but you can't use that intimacy again

INVESTIGATION

Heart-Haunting Condemnation: Scrooge a bitch. Nightmares and omens reinforce your accusations.

Bleak Justice Malediction: If your victim of the above draws on Ties to resist giving in to your accusations, the haunting spreads to those people and things too. If they die they haunt your victim. You can fully Book Of Job somebody here.

Omniscient Spymaster's Web. Know something. Your people told you. You think anyone can keep a secret from you?

#hour in black

21 notes · View notes