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rachiecrown · 6 months

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I dont fully remember what the og ask was but im p sure it was smth like

Hotguy and Cuteguy fighting for mumbos (a civilian) attention

Could be villain v hero, vigilante v hero, vigilante v villain, both on the same team

HEEHEEHOO THIS was so fun to write honestly :33 freakin have some villain Grian and hero Scar fighting over the silly civilian reporter with a mustache they both have crushes on!!

Also btw I used Xelqua for Grian instead of Cute Guy cause I feel like the resident supervillain would not appreciate having matching names with his arch nemesis.

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Today was a perfectly average day. The temperature was nice, not too hot to sweat, not too cold to wear a coat. People made their way to and from work, here and there from places in the shopping district. Traffic wasn't too bad and the sun was about to reach its solar noon.

Everything, today, was normal, and Mumbo hoped to the high heavens above it would stay that way. Now, that was an odd wish for someone of his occupation, but nowadays all Mumbo wished for was just a bit of normalcy.

Mumbo was a journalist, you see, but not on mundane topics like coffee shops or pigeons (not like they were boring, no, they were plenty interesting in their own ways). He followed the stories and fights between heroes and villains as up close and personal as possible, even risking his life several times in the process.

At first, it had been an exciting job to follow fights both big and small with his fancy camera in one hand and his motorcycle's handles in the other, weaving through traffic dangerously and filming the way the most powerful hero and villain fought together above traffic. The hero lived up to his name, Hot Guy, with his majestic hair and his somehow beautiful scars, and the villain, Xelqua, was stunning with his white wings and graceful movements.

It had all gone downhill the day Mumbo got caught between a violent fight between the two. His adrenaline had peaked that day, he thought he was really gonna die! But for some inexplicable reason Hot Guy and Xelqua stopped their fighting, showing some sort of immediate interest in the journalist. Mumbo honestly believed he would never be scared again after that day.

Weeks and months passed, either one or the other of the powered menaces finding Mumbo and causing all sorts of mischief to surround him. Three months ago, all Mumbo wanted was a shot as a journalist to earn good money.. but today, all he wanted was a sense of peace and normalcy.

"Well, well, well." Well, there goes that wish. "If it isn't mister Mumbo." Ohh, great, he knows my name now. Mumbo turned around slowly to face the one and only Xelqua. The villain had his hands folded behind his back, his wings spread behind him as he took a few steps towards Mumbo.

"Well well whoopsie, looks like I'm in the wrong place at the wrong time." Mumbo muttered, turning back around to continue walking. He was stopped by silky gloves grabbing his shoulders and Xelqua putting his chin on Mumbo's shoulder from behind. "Don't be a party pooper, pretty boy." Xelqua cooed. Mumbo just slipped out of his grasp. "Listen, I'm sure you understand time constraints, I have somewhere to be." Mumbo lied.

Xelqua basically wilted at this. "You're saying you don't want to spend time with me?"

"When did I ever want to do that?" Mumbo shot back.

"Well hello there!" A third voice sounded.

Mumbo wanted to scream.

Hot Guy approached the two with a lopsided smile, his hand going to Xelqua's face and pushing him away. "Is this horrible, horrible villain bothering you? Do you need a safe escort to wherever you're going?" Hot Guy wondered. Mumbo glared at the two. "I have a lunch to get to before I get hungrier. Now if you'll excuse me-"

Mumbo turned on his heel, only for both of his arms to be grabbed by two pairs of hands. "I'll go with you!" Xelqua shouted, siding up to Mumbo. Hot Guy pulled Mumbo away from Xelqua, picking him up bridal style. "No, I'll get you where you need to go, safe and sound!" He proclaimed. Mumbo just sighed. "Here we go again.."

Hot Guy turned and ran the second Xelqua reached for Mumbo. "So where do you need to go, Mumbo?" He asked, his mechanical glider unfolding and letting him take flight. Oh, wonderful, you know my name too. Well, as long as this gets me where I'm going and you leave me alone, I'll accept it. Mumbo thought. "Shopping district, food court on Ninth Street." Mumbo said. At least this was free transportation.

Mumbo looked around and spotted Xelqua, soaring after Hot Guy with an upset look on his face. Mumbo sighed. "Xelqua on your seven." He exasperated, in which Hot Guy turned quickly around a corner and set Mumbo down. "I will defend you, beautiful citizen!!" He shouted boisterously, striking a pose just seconds before Xelqua tackled him

The two went tumbling into an alley. Mumbo, truly, was unfazed. He snapped a photo of the two wrestling for the news before he turned and walked towards his lunch spot, which was luckily only a block away now.

All I want is one day. One day! But noo, these two utter buffoons have to bother the ever living bits out of me. I'm chuffed, and not in the good way today. Mumbo's internal dialogue spoke as he entered the shop and made his order. He sat at a table near the back. Ugh, he couldn't even enjoy window views anymore because of those two..

Whatever. He had his food, and that was a good thing. Customers came and went as Mumbo filled up, slowly becoming more content with his day again..

..until Xelqua entered the shop.

There were shouts and screams from civilians as Xelqua spotted Mumbo and made his way towards the back. Mumbo would've let himself faceplant into his dish if he wouldn't get dirty. Xelqua stopped in front of his table and held up a thorny rose that was so very clearly picked from someone's rose bush.

"I'm sorry about Hot Guy ruining our special day," Xelqua said, "please take this rose!"

Mumbo stared at Xelqua incredulously. "What kind of stunt is this then!?" He blurted out. Xelqua pushed the rose forward. "I'm not taking the flower! It's full of thorns!" Mumbo then shouted.

The shop's door chimed again as Hot Guy entered, sauntering his way over to Mumbo and shoving Xelqua out of the way with a bouquet of red carnations. Hot Guy placed the bouquet in Mumbo's arms and procedurally messed up the mustached man's hair in the process.

"Is he bothering you?" Hot Guy basically cooed. Xelqua squawked in offense and grabbed Hot Guy's hair, pulling it, causing the hero to shout and grab back at Xelqua. Mumbo simply watched apathetically. Weeks ago, he would be flustered beyond no end, probably folding in on himself and unable to properly take the attention, but he came to realize in this moment that he had become desensitized to the antics the hero and villain put up.

Goodness, these two made Mumbo feel less like himself with each encounter. He dropped the flowers on the table and stood, snatching up his food and walking out as the two fools fought behind him. Being around them really just drained his energy, now.

It was hours later when Xelqua pulled off the stupidest stunt of them all, and Mumbo found himself stuck in an abandoned apartment in a pile of pillows with the villain curled around his torso. Despite his apathy towards Xelqua and Hot Guy fighting over him and getting him flowers, he could at least admit that his face felt a bit hot at how Xelqua's head rested on his chest and how his leg crossed over his waist.

Mumbo could only groan in defeat at the desperate antics of the avian. Whatever. He could maybe give in just a little bit, right? Not like this would matter once Hot Guy found this place and distracted Xelqua enough so he could make his escape.

Hesitantly, Mumbo let his hand hover over Xelqua's head. His mind distantly brought up the idea of pulling Xelqua's hair to get him off, but he mentally shot that down, as that would really only make the avian angry. He was a highly dangerous villain, after all.

He let his hand settle on Xelqua's halfway up hood. It would be a small gesture for anyone else, but to Mumbo it was a huge step of faith that the villain wouldn't get even more lovey over him.

Thinking back, this was probably a mistake.

Mumbo and Xelqua jumped as the door slammed open. "So this is where you've taken him!! You scoundrel!! You menace!!" Hot Guy shouted, pointing at the now incredulous Xelqua who held his head up with a look of shock on his half covered face. "How did you even find us!?" Xelqua shouted, which Hot Guy marched over and shoved the screen of his phone in Xelqua's face. "I tracked his phone!"

Mumbo cringed at that. Is that how Hot Guy's able to find me so easily? He was grabbed and lifted by Hot Guy, which Xelqua shrieked and grabbed Mumbo's arm. This quickly resulted in a tug of war with Mumbo as the rope.

"He's mine! I had him first!"

"guys-"

"Let go of him, you fiend!!"

"you both, please-"

"I kidnapped him fair and square!"

"Well I'm here to rescue him!!"

"BOTH OF YOU!!!'

Mumbo yanked his arms away from the two and pulled in on himself. He was about to make a horribly stupid negotiation. "You two either get along and share me on that pillow nest right there-" he pointed past Xelqua, "or none of you will receive any positive emotion from me! Ever!"

The hero and villain both stared at the journalist, and something inside Mumbo's mind screamed at him for saying such a stupid thing. He already began to get nervous by the time the two shared a glance.

"Fiiiine.." Xelqua rolled his eyes, crossing his arms. Hot Guy kicked idly at the floor with a pout. "..maybe I could share.." he mumbled out.

And that was how Mumbo found himself more flustered than he'd like to admit in the grasps of two extremely powerful people who were just so oddly infatuated with him. Xelqua laid with his head tucked under Mumbo's arm, his left arm over Mumbo's stomach and his legs linked around Mumbo's right thigh. Hot Guy had opted to tuck Mumbo's left side into his chest with his right arm over Mumbo's chest and his left pillowing Mumbo's head. One of Xelqua's wings covered the three of them together, blanketing them in a sort of nice warmth that Mumbo didn't know could come from wings.

The journalist could practically feel the animosity radiating off the two, but he could really care less about their feelings for each other. He rested one hand in Xelqua's hair, and the other on Hot Guy's hand. Both the villain and hero made pleased noises at the touches. Mumbo rolled his eyes. "Goodness, the both of you are complete dorks."

Mumbo would just pretend that his cheeks weren't bright pink.

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frozenjokes · 24 days

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Couldn’t study until I drew them. One day I’ll make actual cuteguy and hotguy designs. CubGuy has infected me though I’m a little insane about him. Uh. ao3 link.

So today, they were the assholes hogging the private bathroom, but Grian couldn’t have cared less. Washing his hair in the sink was a process, and even just picking the glitter off and out of his clothes was a certified nightmare, one that would take hours, though only forty-five minutes passed before someone knocked hard on the door, clearly annoyed.

“Maybe it’s time to go,” Cub mumbled, still sparkly and purple himself (clothes far more wrinkled than they were before), and Grian huffed, still unhappy with the state of his uniform. Cub bumped him gently, throwing a small smile his way, “Most of its out at this point, we can do the rest when we get home.”

“We? You did not just say we.”

“Ah, look at the time! We’ve been here for a while, haven’t we? Time to go, yes, time to go,” Cub grabbed his bag, barely giving Grian enough time to fix his hair before throwing open the door, only to be met by the one person they could not be seen by today.

“Cub!?” HotGuy almost shrieked, his voice cracking in his surprise, “What are you doing here? You can’t be here! Is- CuteGuy! You said you weren’t working today! Did you sneak him in? Why are you both purple? Why is the bathroom purple!?”

“CUBGUY!” Cub suddenly had another small container of glitter in his hands, and HotGuy couldn’t even scream before it was thrown in his face, nor could Grian do anything before Cub’s hand was in his, pulling him out of the bathroom and away faster than Grian had ever seen him run before. Normally Cub would have trouble keeping up with Grian, but the roles were switched today, Grian cackling so hard he couldn’t suck in enough air to breathe. And given that HotGuy didn’t catch up, or even try to follow them in the first place, it appeared that the distress of being assaulted with glitter (sparkly silver this time) immobilized heroes with masks just as effectively as heroes without.

#CUBGUY!!!!!!#hermitcraft #gtws #goodtimeswithscar #grian #cubfan135 #cubfan #hotguy #cuteguy #cubguy….. the worst hero in the world #the worst villain in the world #the worst <3

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