#poly vessels

[whatawonderfulexistence--blog]

Fall For Me (Poly! Sleep Token x Fem! Reader) - Part VII

*inhales aggressively* VESSEL CHAPTER!!!!!! FINALLY!!!! Reader has a talk with the boys about what exactly happened with the night's kissing incident, after so much time of him being a bit distant towards reader Vessel decides to let his softer side show, plus more moments with III because I'm in love with him and I can't help myself sorry not sorry hehe I can't wait to know what you all think of this chapter thank you all so much for all the wonderful comments. If you would like to be added to the tag list please let me know!!

WARNINGS: discussion of boundaries, proposals of a polyamorous relationship (I tried my best to make it realistic but I, myself, am not polyamorous), fluffy stuff per usual. NOT PROOFREAD

My Masterlist! ~ AO3 Link!

Part VI - Part VIII (TBA)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The sight before you almost made you want to laugh. The four grown men that sat in various seats around your living room almost resembled a group of school kids waiting anxiously outside the principal's office. “I’m sorry.” III was the first of them to speak up.

“No, if anything I should be the one apologizing.” II quickly follows, both of them unable to even look in your direction.

“I’m not upset at either of you, I’m just… confused.” You respond softly.

“It started off as simple crushes; me, IV, III, Ves.” You noticed Vessel’s shoulder tense as he was dragged into this conversation as well. “We all think you’re beautiful-”

“And very sweet.” III adds on. You can’t help the subtle smile that finds its way to your lips at their compliments.

“We could tell things had gotten a little more serious between you and III so we all decided to back off. But, I can’t lie to you,” II chuckled, “I’m a very jealous man. So when someone tries to keep me from what I want I don’t typically respond the best.”

“And I don’t feel right asking you to commit solely to me when you clearly have feelings for II, as well.” III adds his piece. You found it odd, there was no anger in his voice at the thought of you with his friend. “I guess what we’re trying to say is, um…” he trails off, looking to II as he searches for the right words to say.

“How would you feel about dating all of us?” Vessel breaks the thick tension with his blunt question. You felt like all of the air had been punched from your lungs, your heart jumping into your throat as your head snapped in his direction.

“Vessel, you can’t phrase it like that!” IV groans from his spot on your couch, dropping his head into his hand.

“What? She's a big girl, you don't need to beat around the bush.”

“Dating… dating all of you?” You finally mutter after a few moments of shocked silence.

“Obviously only if you're comfortable with that.” III stands from his seat, slowly stepping closer to you. “You don't have to say yes to any of this. It doesn't matter if you want to date only me, or if you would be okay dating all of us. Hell, after dropping this on you, there's a chance you might not want to see any of us ever again.” You didn't miss the nervousness that laced its way into his laughter. III was genuinely scared that this was going to fully push you away. “But, it's about what you want, that's the important part.”

“And you're all okay with this?” You would be lying if you tried to say you didn't find the offer very appealing. Every member of the group that sat before you drew you to them in one way or another, they were definitely an attractive bunch to put it lightly; III with his subtle intensity, who was always making you laugh, II who would turn you into a flustered mess with his sweet words, IV who’s easily excitable nature and blind confidence when it came to complimenting you made your heart thrum in your chest, Vessel who lets his hand linger on your waist as he maneuvers around you doing restock days, who holds your gaze for perhaps a little longer than necessary when wishing you goodbye at night. But, could you really handle four relationships? 

“The way we see it, we’d rather share you with others who we know are going to take good care of you than to be forced to hold our tongues about how we feel about you.” II explains.

“I…” you trail off as you look between the four of them. “I need some time to think.” Your voice shook slightly as you spoke.

“Of course.” Vessel responds. Without another word II, III, and IV stood, quietly said their goodbyes to you and left your apartment. Vessel hung back for a moment, waiting for III to fully shut the door behind him before breathing out a sigh. “I'm sorry that all of this happened the way it did. I kept telling them to wait to bring it up.” His gaze drops to you, who was silently fidgeting with your fingers as you leaned against the wall.

“I can always tell them to back off, love.”

“No, you don't have to do that.” You brush him off. “It's nothing to do with any of you, you're all incredible. It's just- it's me, that's what the problem is.” You tried to force a laugh to prove to Vessel that you were fine, his unchanging expression let you know immediately that he saw right through you. “You're all so wonderful, and the fact that you would be willing to make such a huge compromise.” You stare through the slits of his mask, believing you were meeting his eyes. “What if it's not worth it?”

You didn't have time to register what was happening before Vessel was in front of you, pulling you into a warm embrace.

“I know I might not be as… prominent with my acts of affection as the others.” He pulls back slightly, one large hand coming up to cradle the back of your head as your eyes instinctively rise to look at him. “But, considering II put things out in the open, I need you to know that I care for you viscerally.” The soft growl that found its way into his voice made your cheeks grow warm. “I don't want you to feel pressured into anything you don't want, but I need you to understand that there has not been a single moment since I met you that would make me think any of this wasn't worth it.” You blink slowly as a hand comes to rest on the top of your head, comfortingly patting the spot. “Would it be alright if I came and checked in tomorrow?” You nod, reluctantly letting your hands fall away from their position pressed against his chest as he stepped back, his warmth fading away with it.

“Goodnight, Ves.” Your voice cracked slightly as you tried to keep your overwhelming emotions in check.

“Goodnight love, rest well.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

You watched the second hand on the clock tick, bringing you closer to when Vessel would usually make his nightly supply runs. You hadn’t managed to sleep at all the night prior, tossing and turning as you played through every scenario you could think of as you made your decision. At the sight of the familiar pick up truck rumbling into the lot you felt your heart race. “This is it.” You muttered out loud to the empty store. “No going back now.” He poked his head through the door before fully entering.

“You still open?” He offers you a playful smile.

“No, but for you I'll make an exception.” You giggle in response. He slowly steps inside and approaches the counter.

“How’d thinking on things go?” He rests his elbows on the counter, bringing him closer to face level with you.

You set a hand down on the counter, Vessel cautiously reaching out to take it in his own. He hesitates for a moment, his hand drawing back slightly as if he was preparing to pull away. His fingers were rough against the soft skin of your hand when he finally decided to take his, his thumb running languidly across the peaks and valleys of your knuckles as he waited patiently for your response. “I want to take things slow… but the thought of having all of you to myself is a little too good to pass up.” He breathes out a chuckle, flashing you a sharp smirk that makes your breath catch in your throat.

“Is that so?” He mulls over how to respond to your statement for a moment. “How about I make us dinner and we can sit down and talk about how slow you want to take things, just so we can make sure everyone is on the same page.”

“You want to cook me dinner?” You shoot him a playful smile. “Is it going to be edible?” He bellows out a laugh in response.

“You're funny, you know I've been told I'm a wonderful cook.” He points an accusatory finger at you, standing up to collect what ingredients he needed from around the store. “Just you wait and see, this is going to be the best damn meal you've ever eaten.”

The whole thing was a bit strange in the best way. If he hasn't told you so directly you would've sworn that Vessel thought of you as little more than an acquaintance. But now, you were sitting on your kitchen counter, a glass of white wine swirling around in your hand, rolling your eyes playfully at all of Vessel’s terrible jokes as he made the two of you dinner. He asks you where you keep your plates, you easily reach into the cabinet behind you and produce a pair, holding them out to him with a soft smile. He carefully plates the pasta he made, penne with bacon and spinach and some type of cream sauce he had pulled together with odds and ends from your pantry. “It smells incredible.” He saunters in front of you, trapping you on the counter by placing a hand on either side of your waist.

“And here you were questioning my culinary skills.” He feigns a hurt tone before a soft chuckle rumbles from his chest. “Come on beautiful, let's go eat.” He pulls away from you, your body trailing after his warmth. You pad your way into the living room, Vessel close behind as he carries your plate for you. You sat close together on the couch, angling yourself to better face him. “So, define slow.” He jumps in immediately.

“Let me at least get a couple bites in.” Vessel can't help but smile at your teasing tone. “I just… I don’t know. This is all so different I don't think I can really tell you what going slow even means.”

“Well, I can assure you that all of us care a lot about how you feel during all of this.”

“And I know that.”

“I think you're worried about more than just taking things slow, love. What's on your mind?” The softness to his tone immediately lulled your anxious mind into a sense of safety.

“I'm worried about things developing quicker in certain relationships than others, I just don't want that to cause any of you to fight.” You absentmindedly twisted your fork around in your fingers, studying it as you tried to put into words what was racing through your mind.

“That might happen, but if it does it's alright. Unfortunately that's just something we have to deal with.” He chuckles. “There's no doubt in my mind that you would be more comfortable moving a bit quicker with III than you would with me, he started flirting with you from the start. We all know that you're in various stages of getting to know us, we're more than willing to give you time to figure all of that out.” Hearing him being so reassuring made the heaviness weighing in your chest lighten considerably. “Is there anything else I can do to ease that pretty little head of yours?” You slowly shake your head no before pausing. You looked at the man before you, swallowing thickly as you mulled over an idea. Vessel was an enigma to you even after months of knowing him. He was aloof, quiet, but the few rare instances he let part of his personality break through you could tell just how wonderful he could really be.

“Dance with me?” The question hung in the air for a moment before Vessel wordlessly rose to his feet.

“I will warn you, I'm not much of a dancer.” He chuckles, outstretching his hand for you to take. His palm was warm against your fingertips; the smudged edges of his paint were a stark contrast to the pale skin underneath.

“What a shame, neither am I.” You giggle in response before he pulls you to your feet. He looks around the room, making a small sound of affirmation to himself before pushing your coffee table out of the way to open up the space. You walked over to a bookshelf in the corner of the room, clicking on your radio and letting the soft tune crackle to life. Vessel stood in the center of the room, hands shoved into his pockets as he waited for your return, a soft smile settling onto his lips.

“You look really beautiful today.” He says softly, one strong arm reaching out for you and wrapping around your waist when you were within reach. Your fingers intertwine with his, Vessel watching carefully as each delicate digit slotted between his own. Your cheeks grow warm as you timidly accept the compliment. You had never been this close to Vessel before, feeling the way his muscles tensed and shifted under the hand that rested on his shoulder sent a shiver down your spine. You were unable to tear your eyes away from him, the intricate detailing along the edge of his mask highlighting how wide and bright his smile was as he gazed down at your flustered form. The music you had turned on was non existent at this point, the only thing mattering at this point in time was Vessel finally allowing you the briefest glimpse inside his walls. You managed to trip over your own feet, yelping slightly as you stumbled into him. “Easy now, I got you.” He chuckles, helping to steady you on your feet. “If you're going to faint at least wait until I kiss you for the first time.” He jokes

“Already thinking about kissing me, huh?” You smile coyly

“It'd be hard not to with a pretty face like that.” You let out a flustered laugh, your eyes dropping to the floor. You jumped when there was a sudden knock on the door. You reluctantly pull out of Vessel’s grasp, his fingers trailing across your waist as he tries to remain connected to you until the last possible moment. You slowly open the door, not knowing who to expect on the other side so late. You froze when your eyes landed on III, who was nervously swaying his heels on the creaky wooden landing outside. The moment he realized you had answered he immediately began to ramble.

“I'm sorry, I know you said you needed time to think and I absolutely respect that. I just, I know we kissed, and if you decide you don't want to go through with this I don't want it to make things weird-”

“III.” His mouth snaps shut as you softly say his name. You look back into your living room, Vessel’s head rested in his hand, he seemed mildly annoyed to be interrupted. Not knowing how to respond, you simply pushed the door wide open, III’s attention immediately drawn to Vessel. “We were actually just talking about that.” His eyes widen slightly, his gaze switching between you and his friend.

“Oh, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to interrupt-”

“I was just leaving, actually.” Your brows furrowed in confusion. You turn to face him as he walks up to you. He cradles your face in his hand, “tonight was wonderful, I hope we get to do this again soon.” He swipes his thumb across your cheek, leaving a thin black streak in its wake. “Goodnight, love.”

“Goodnight, Ves.” You respond breathlessly. You turn to face III, pulling your bottom lip between your teeth before reaching out and taking his hand, tugging him inside your apartment. His eyes stay locked on you as he follows you through the door, shutting it quietly behind him. “I really enjoyed, um… kissing you last night was really nice.” You let out a flustered laugh. “I don’t want you to worry that you made things weird.”

He chuckles, “Well, I’m glad you enjoyed it.” He stuffs his hand in his pockets, shifting his weight awkwardly. “I hope that talk you guys were having was a good one.”

“I think you’ll be very satisfied with the outcome.” You giggle. He gazes at you curiously, the usual playful sparkle back in his eyes when he realized he hadn’t scared you off.

“Is that so?” He saunters closer to you, his towering height and intense gaze threatening to make your knees buckle. “You let me know if any of this is moving too fast, okay?” He says sweetly, gently cupping your jaw.

“Okay.” You smile up at him. He trails his thumb over your bottom lip, his bright blue eyes darting around your features as he drank in the sight of you.

“You are simply gorgeous, love.” He whispers after a moment of silence.

“You flatter me too much.” Both hands slide around your waist, gently pulling you flush against him.

“I'm only telling my girl the truth.” He smiles. Your eyes flash up to meet his, the declaration of being his girl making your heart flutter in your chest. “Well, it seems like we have the night to ourselves. What would you like to do?” Wordlessly you take one of the hands that had settled against the curve of your hip, guiding him towards your couch. You threw on a movie, something mindless that you didn't need to pay attention to. Tonight was about spending time with III. No distractions, no hidden feelings, just you and someone who made you feel like a girl experiencing her first crush all over again. III takes you in his arms, laying back and pulling you on top of him in the process. One arm resting comfortably behind his head, the other slung over your waist as the two of you cuddled in a comfortable silence. “You know, I was really worried all of this would make you never speak to me again.” He speaks up after a while through a quiet chuckle.

“I was definitely a bit nervous about the idea, still kind of am if I'm being honest.” You laugh softly, absentmindedly tracing shapes against the soft material of his sweatshirt on his chest. “But, none of you have given me any reason not to trust you, so despite being nervous I feel like this is the right choice.”

“How you feel about this is very important to me, okay? If there's ever anything I can do for you love, just let me know.” He rubs his hand soothingly up and down your back, keeping you pressed close to him almost as if he was scared if he let you go you'd disappear. The two of you stayed up talking late into the night; you learned that III is more of a cat person than a dog person, his favorite color is red, and he would willingly disappear into the woods without a trace if it meant never folding laundry again. “It's such a dumb concept, I'm going to put the damn clothes on anyways. Why do they have to be folded and put away?” You hid your face against his shoulder, trying to hide the fact you had tears forming in your eyes from laughing so hard. You look up at him with a bright smile, the tangent dying in his throat as his eyes meet yours. He slowly sits himself up on his elbows, your body responding as it gradually slid into his lap. One of his hands pressed into the small of your back, keeping you held as close to him as possible, the other moving to cup your cheek.

“I haven't been able to stop thinking about kissing you since last night.” You admit in a tone barely above a whisper.

“Trust me, I wasn't doing much better.” He chuckles, his gaze briefly flashing down to your lips. “Everything about you… everything about you is just so perfect, and for the life of me I can't figure out why you give me the time of day.”

“Because you make me feel like I'm the only girl in the world.” Your voice shook as you spoke, you could hear your heartbeat thundering in your ears and you were nearly positive that III could hear it too.

“Because you are the only girl in the world for me.” He admits without a second thought. “I haven't been able to get last night out of my head. Of course I want to kiss you again, but this time I want to kiss you and mean it.” Trembling fingers rose to the edge of his mask, glancing up at him through your lashes asking for silent permission to raise his mask enough to kiss him. He nods, studying your nervous expression as you gently took the edge of the fabric and raised it to just below his nose. Your breath was snatched from your lungs as III crushed his lips against yours, your mind immediately swimming in the overwhelming sensation that was him. His lips subtly sweet as he eased your mouth open, his tongue carefully caressing yours, making sure to take things at a bear agonizing pace in order for you to be able to back away at any time. Your hands slid up his torso, III shivered under your delicate touch. You felt lightheaded as the kiss took over your senses; the euphoric feeling of his warm lips against yours, the deep, earthy smell of his cologne, his massive hand kneading at the softness of your hip. You both pulled away equally breathless, your hands coming up to his mask in order to readjust it into place before he had a chance to.

“I think you definitely meant it this time.” You giggle, your forehead falling to rest against his.

“There's going to be plenty more where that came from.” He winks playfully at you.

III decided to leave you for the night when you could barely keep your head up anymore. He scoops you up in his arms. You grumble in annoyance despite the fact you immediately begin to nuzzle your face against his chest. “Where are we going?” You ask through a yawn.

“I’m taking you to bed sweetheart, you need to rest.” He chuckles.

“-’m not tired.” You try to protest, your actions only make him laugh again before he presses a kiss to your forehead.

“Says the woman who can’t keep her eyes open.” You could hear his smile in his voice.

“I don’t want you to leave.” You admit softly.

“I know love, but you have a store to run, I’m afraid I’ve kept you up more than I already meant to.” He carefully maneuvers himself so he’s holding you in one arm, pulling back your blankets with his now free hand. He lays you gently into bed, his knuckles trailing across your cheek. “I’ll see you tomorrow.” His head dips down, allowing you to share one more chaste kiss before he left you to fall into a dreamless sleep.

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[moonchildeath]

group picture!! group picture finally.

( source )

#i love them #gay token #poly token #sleep token #worshitposting #sleep token band #sleep token vessel #vessel sleep token #vessel #sleep token iv #sleep token iii #ii sleep token #iii sleep token #tmbte #sundowning #tpwbyt

[dreaming-of-old-encounters]

The Fifth (Poly! Sleep Token x Fem! OC) Part I

Summary: The members of Sleep Token are exhausted, utterly drained. Sleep beckons for a new addition to take the load off the group; A Fifth.

Word count: 1.8K

I hope y'all enjoy I have a few parts planned out with the potential of this becoming a longer piece if you're interested. Poly! Sleep Token with a Fem! OC but can definitely be read as reader insert.

This was the third night in a row that he had dreamed of, well Vessel wasn't sure what he was dreaming of. It was never pleasant, Sleep's dream rarely ever were, but these were different. 

They were never like this when II, or III first began to plague his dreams. Sleep had been clear with them. They had come with a sense of purpose and drive to seek the new members out. Nor was this like the other messages Sleep had sent Vessel, she had always been clear, given him instructions or a goal. Those dreams had always felt real; Vessel could feel every touch, hear every word, and move freely sheltered in the safety of the dream world Sleep had created.

But this was completely out of his realm.

The clearness of the dreams had been replaced with flashes of images. Mousy hair, deep brown eyes, and pale translucent skin. Never a clear image, and never tangible. He had tried to reach out to the being when the dreams started to happen but the uneasiness of it all had prevented him. It was as if he was tied down and gagged, unable to respond to the chaos around him.

Was it fear? 

No. 

Even when Sleep punished her followers, the fear was never like this. That came with understanding, while sometimes cruel Vessel understood it. This was completely different, wild, unnerving and Vessel did not like it.

Reaching out blindly to the side table by his bed, Vessel searched for his phone. Lifting it to his face, expecting a light to blind him as he turned it on. A low sign left his lips, he had forgotten to plug the darn thing in again. No matter what  time it was now there was no going back to bed. His head was too filled with a heavy confusion he had not felt since the early days of Sleep Token, since the early days of his connection to Sleep herself. 

Pulling himself from the bed, he grabbed an extra hoodie and his mask. Stuffing them both on unceremoniously before dragging himself out of the warm comfort of his room. The promise of a warm cup of tea urging himself forward and down the creaky steps of the band's shared home. 

Even with the newfound success of the band they all still remained in the older Vicornian style home. It was easier that way, the quiet allowed all of them to maintain their identities, at least the very little left that remained of each of them, but had also allowed them to Worship and write in peace. Vessel would not admit this, but the house was one of the first places he had felt at peace in a long time. He was not willing to leave its comforts and as long as the rest of his band allowed him to stay there, he would. 

Entering the kitchen he was surprised to find a tired II, shoulders slump slightly waiting on the kettle to finish boiling. The soft early morning light was the only thing eliminating the kitchen around them, it couldn't be later than four or five in the morning.

 Vessel walk towards the smaller man resting his forehead lightly on top of his head. 

"You're up early?"

II turned slightly to look up at Vessel, his bright blue eye still glossy with sleep, "Couldn't get back to sleep"

Vessel frowned at this but only responded with a quiet hum. 

Reaching over the smaller man, he grabbed their two cups.

 II quickly corrected him, "Better make it four, I heard III & IV moving around when I came down."

Vessel paused a moment longer, his frown drawing deeper onto his hidden features. This information concerned him, the other vessels rarely were affected by Sleep's dreams. Well at least not like he was, being the first of the vessels chosen he had a certain connection with Sleep they did not. For all of them to be having troubles in the dream world, something was not right. 

"Alright, why don't you throw some more wood into the furnace and get some blankets together in the living room and I'll finish up here?"  Vessel suggested.

II nodded at him, before pulling away from the stove. Rubbing his hands over his arms to warm up. It was cold in the house, they had yet to bother adding heating past the wood furnace in the living room and the space heaters in their own rooms. Though IV had refused this comfort all together claiming it was a fire hazard. The other vessels knew it was just an excuse for the man to crawl into their beds when the nights got unbearably cold. Regardless it didn't seem like a big deal as they had planned on getting heating earlier that year but with their sudden rise to fame, home repairs were quickly forgotten. Lost among the other tasks left undone thanks to their busy schedules; not that others minded the extra company. 

Vessel continued to watch the water boil in front of him as he placed the tea bags into their cups, making sure to add an extra sugar cube into III's mug. The routine felt mindless, his thoughts consuming him as he dropped each bag into their mugs. 

Behind him footsteps joined II's, followed by quiet chatter. 

II had busied himself with gathering all the blankets he could, dumping them onto the large couch before moving forwards to feed the flames of the old stone furnace. 

"Looks like we need to cut some more wood this week" IV's voice carried from the stairs as he and III made their way down.

II gave a little chuckle before responding, "I have been telling Ves for days now, but you know how he gets..." trailing off a bit at the end of the sentence. He hadnt meant it in a rude way, IV knew that. But an odd energy had settled into the house the past week, that none of them really understood. Maybe it was the cold, gloomy weather but it had felt more than that recently. 

Walking over to II, IV reached down to help restack some of the wood that piled next to the furnace. "and what about you II, Feeling alright? haven't been much yourself lately either?" 

II paused at this, "yeah Ivy I'm alright" a small smile touching his lips before throwing another log into the flames, "just a bit tired I guess" he added. 

III looked at his two band mates from the spot of the sofa that he had claimed, while he was probably the least in-tuned with the group's feeling but he too had felt the energy shift in the house the past couple of days. That same feeling consuming the air around them now, causing him to shift uncomfortably in his seat.

"Alright you two, get your asses over here I'm freezing"  he held wide arm open, holding extra blankets out to them. Desperately trying to escape the heavy feeling beginning to form in his throat. 

It was domestic really, the three of them snuggled up together on the couch, eyes half closed enjoying the warmth of each other's company. It had been a while since they had been able to relax like this, with the end of the UK Tour, dealing with business deals,signing onto a new record company along with preparing for the upcoming North American tour things had been overwhelmingly busy. It was beginning to be clear that it was taking a toll on the group.

The high pitch whistle of the kettle barely took Vessel away from the thoughts that currently tormented his brain. Running through the lists of things they had to complete before the start of tour. The record label wanted them to start to write for the new album, not to mention his commitments to Sleep, it felt endless.

He grabbed a tray from underneath the counter carefully putting each mug on to it, before turning to the pantry to grab them some biscuits. 

And of course there was the matter of his dreams, flashes of the mousy brown hair flickered through his thoughts as he shifted through the shelves looking for the biscuits. They would need to go into town soon, their pantry was starting to look empty. Just another thing for his endless list of tasks. 

He was tired, beyond tired. He was burning out. 

Turning off the stove, Vessel grabbed the tray of mugs letting his mind wander over to his bandmates in the other room. He knew they were just as tired as he was and it was beginning to frustrate him that he couldn't take more of their burden off their shoulders. But he himself was beginning to fall behind on his duties. 

 Long strides brought him into the living room quickly even with the extra care taken not to spill the tray full of steaming mugs in his hands. 

His bandmate lifting their tried heads enough to great him. III's excited eyes twinkling at the package of biscuits laying on the tray. Ivy always greeted him with a sweet smile and kind words. Finally the lazy eyes of II watching him move into the room with careful consideration. He would look almost uninterested to most but both had been around each other long enough to understand that was far from the case. 

Vessel placed the tray down in front of the Trio, grabbing his own dark blue mug standing there a bit awkwardly trying to find his place. It was II that shuffled away so that Vessel could find his place in between him and III. Slotting himself in the group, Vessel let out a deep sigh, closing his eyes and allowing the warmth of his mug to warm his hands. 

IV leaned down grabbing his and III's respective mugs, and of course the roll of biscuits for III. Who made quick work at opening them and stuffing one in his mouth. Turning himself towards IV, "ew want one" mouth half full with the buttery snack. 

"Sleep help us III, I swear you have no manners" IV chucked before grabbing the snack from his hand and stuffing one in his own mouth. 

II watched the two quietly bicker back and forth before reaching down to the table for his own mug, "Ves?" he begun to question the singer next to him, "hm?" he responded, eyes still loosely shut, as his head hung lazily behind him on the couch.  

"Why aren't you using your favorit-" II stopped mid sentence eyeing the dark blue mug Vessel had insisted on using daily gripped tightly in the singer's hands,something about how it fit in his hands & the texture II couldn't quite remember now. 

"What was that II?" Vessel had responded not bothering to open his eyes. 

“Don't worry about it" II leaned back into the side of the singer, his eyes not leaving the fifth mug swirling a deep mousy brown still resting on the table. "It’s nothing" he repeated to himself.

#sleep token #sleep token worship #vessel sleep token #iii sleep token #ii sleep token #iv sleep token #poly! sleep token #sleep token fanfiction #vessel x reader #vessel x iii #vessel x ii #sleep token x reader #sleep token x oc #vessel x oc #iii x iv #vessel x iv

[slptkns]

What about a Poly!Sleeptoken x nymphomaniac!reader? Reader is just constantly horny. How do you think they would deal with this?

Me reading this

[NSFW Headcanons under the cut]

They would all deal with it pretty well I think?? I have this headcanon that Sleep helps their... stamina a lot... Like what the fuck are they being supplied with because they keep up with you pretty well!!

I feel like Vessel maaaaay get slightly... not annoyed, but definitely a little bothered? But only If he's trying to do stuff for Sleep and all you want is to get fucked up. He'll still fuck you up but he's a lil grouchy about it. Other than that, he will keep up with you and then some. You're questioning how the fuck he isn't tired when you two are going at it for the fourth time that night.

II is Very Much excited about your tendency to be always horny. He likes it because as soon as you get a lil bratty about no one fucking you right there immediately he is like "Oh? Hmm??" And will immediately rock your entire world. ESPECAILLY if you come up and tell him Vessel didn't have time for you, or whatever. He is on it, he will take care of you and is slightly rougher than the others about it. Which is nice.

While II is pretty rough, III is just wanting whatever brings you pleasure. He is there to please you (and Vessel...)! But he takes his time with you, drawing out the experience and being so tentative and making sure your needs are met. He (along with he others) really enjoys when you're like super fucking horny, because... he likes helping relieve that tension.

IV is pretty chill. You go to him when you're super horny but also pretty tired. Because, like III, he'll take his time, and is super mellow! Will literally eat you out for what feels like hours, until your squirming under him and begging for his cock.

They all take care of you in different way! Their favorite thing though? Taking turns with you and seeing how long you can go. "How horny is (Y/N) today?" They will always find that answer. It's almost always 'Very Horny' but they need to find out for themselves... For science...

They handle it very well really, all things considered. NOW... if they're all busy with Sleep and you're left with having to take care of yourself? Please hope they find you... You are sure to be taken care of then.

#sleep token fanfiction #sleep token smut #vessel x reader #sleep token vessel #sleep token ii #sleep token iii #sleep token iv #sleep token ii x reader #sleep token iii x reader #sleep token iv x reader #poly sleep token

[xticklemeemox]

Hey so like if Vessel has three pairs of eyes, right, does that mean he can keep an eye on all three of his beloveds at the same time? =)

Masterlist

#sleep token #ii sleep token #vessel sleep token #sleep token iii #sleep token iv #polyvessels #poly!vessels

[foxgloveinspace]

Is it Christmas morning and I’m hiding in the bathroom thinking of all the ways that Sleep Token love each other? Maybe so.

#sleep token #for blacklist #idk man… it’s the little things to me #it’s the way that Vessel walks ii to the front of the stage sometimes. #it’s the way that iv gets down on his knees when he sees Vessel coming over and if he doesn’t then Vessel gets down on his knees for iv #it’s the way that iii and iv will be soft with each other even when they are rough with each other #it’s the way that iii will follow Vessel around the stage and how they’re different chaotic energies blend so well together #it’s the little things ok. #I’m feeling it today oof #I know I joke about them being poly…. but I genuinely think they love each other. even if it’s not romantic it’s still love ya know. #anyway.

[nocompromise-noregrets]

Chapters: 30/32 Fandom: The Lord of the Rings - J. R. R. Tolkien, The Lord of the Rings - All Media Types, The Lord of the Rings (Movies), TOLKIEN J. R. R. - Works & Related Fandoms, The Hobbit - All Media Types, The Hobbit (Jackson Movies), The Hobbit - J. R. R. Tolkien Rating: Teen And Up Audiences Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Bard the Bowman/Thranduil, Bard the Bowman/Bard the Bowman's Wife, Thranduil/Thranduil's Wife, Bard the Bowman's Wife/Thranduil's Wife Characters: Bard the Bowman, Thranduil (Tolkien), Thranduil's Wife, Bard the Bowman's Wife, Legolas Greenleaf, Sigrid (Hobbit Movies), Tilda (Hobbit Movies), Tauriel (Hobbit Movies), Gimli (Son of Glóin) Additional Tags: Fluff, Valinor, Depression, Recovery, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Reincarnation, Reunions, Women Being Awesome, Strong Female Characters, Indomitable Women, Pre-Poly, Polyamory, Polyamory Negotiations, Past Imrahil/Legolas Series: Part 48 of My Heart Is An Empty Vessel Summary:

After he sails West, Thranduil finds no comfort in the Undying Lands, so his wife and son decide to do something about it. This involves making certain demands of the Valar, and the return of several people Thranduil thought he had lost for ever, not least the other great love of his life.

Sequel to My Heart Is An Empty Vessel, following on from the epilogue Empty-Handed.

Chapter 30 now posted! In which Sigrid visits someone who might be very well placed to help her Ada - and, it turns out, herself and Tilda, too.

Not quite as much of a wait this time! I've been sitting on this chapter for ages and looking forward so much to sharing it with you all! This is where we really start to get into what Sigrid and Tilda are plotting, which will end up in a separate story to this one, if I can ever figure out what to do with it...

#lotr #bard/thranduil #barduil #bard the bowman #thranduil #bard's wife (maudie) #thranduil's wife (auriel) #auriel/maudie #bard/maudie #auriel/thranduil #poly relationships #break you but you'll mend #my heart is an empty vessel #my writing #celebrían #elladan #elrohir #valinor ot4

[ghcstcd]

I'm happy to use my power for evil by converting people to my rare ships.

#poly ghoul supremacy but also #dewii #also Dew/Copia #DewIV #I suppose if I wanna keep in theme #the ghost breakdancing beside you #A little vent I'm in hell. My skin. is so mean to me. I wish to be freed from my meat vessel

[eiectrodev]

VESSELED - Final Teaser

#gamedev #godot engine #horror games #indiedev #low poly #vesseled #audio on

[whatawonderfulexistence--blog]

Fall For Me (Poly! Sleep Token x Fem! Reader) - Part VI

Why hello there! I am finally back with an Eepy Boi update!! Sorry it took me so long to get around to posting this, between the holidays and my work schedule being all over the place and a heap of other junk it took me a bit, lol. We're taking a little jump back? Forward? In time this chapter, the Fall Festival is finally upon us... Maybe a little bit of tension starts to occur? This is going to be a very fun chapter hehe. Thank all of you so so much for your continued support during my hiatus, I see every single note, reblog, and kudos on this fic, I read every single comment I get, all of you are absolutely wonderful, again, thank you. If you would like to be added to my tag list for this fic, please let me know! If you ever want to come be crazy over the Sleep Token boys with me, shoot me an ask or a message! Now onto the good stuff, I hope you enjoy!

WARNINGS: None, fluff, not proofread

My Masterlist! ~ A03 Link!

Part V - Part VI

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“Absolutely not.” Vessel responds blankly as he flips through one of the magazines by the register.

“Ves, come on.” You groan. “It's one night.”

“Yeah, one night with a whole group of people that want to run us out of town.” He retaliates in the same bored tone as he turns another page.

“Everyone's going to be wearing costumes, no one will know it's you.” You offer as you start bagging his purchase.

“They've seen pictures of us, love.”

“What? Those blurry, grainy sasquatch looking photos from the paper?” You sigh, handing him the bags. “Listen, I know you're worried. I know you just want to keep everyone safe, but you hiding yourselves away is only going to make people more suspicious.” You could feel his eyes studying your face.

“I get the slightest feeling that something is wrong we leave, do we have a deal?” He sticks out his hand to you, you clap your own into his without hesitation, giving it a firm shake. “I agree that people might be more comfortable with us being in town if we can exist in the same space without an issue… I just hope you're right about this.” 

“I'll be right by your side the whole time.” You exchange a soft smile.

“Are you closing early that day?” He asks.

“Of course, I have to get into costume myself.” You giggle. “I'll be closing at noon that day, but I can always reopen if you guys want to stock up afterwards.” You offer.

“It’s not that, I wouldn't want to trouble you.” He chuckles. “I was thinking maybe we could meet here before the festival.” 

“I'd like that.” 

“Then it's a date.” He bows his head slightly in dismissal before pushing out the door.

The next day the store was abuzz with excited children picking out glow sticks, mother's buying ingredients for their bake sale items, and last minute costume necessities for all the town's residents. “Miss (Y/N)!” You can't help but smile as a young boy with messy brown hair and a gapped tooth smile rushes up to the counter.

“Daclan, she's busy-” his mother starts, a bubbly school teacher you had gotten to know quite well since she had moved to town.

“Don't worry about it, Siobhan.” You chuckle, pulling the bucket of candy out from behind the counter and discreetly offering it to him. You lean down slightly, “if you don't tell the other kids I'll let you take two.” You whisper with a wink. He shoves his hand into the bucket before quickly and triumphantly retrieving his candy.

“Miss (Y/N), are you coming to the Fall festival?” He asks excitedly.

“Of course I am, I wouldn't miss it for the world.” You smile. “What's your costume going to be this year?” He starts rambling on about his skeleton costume as you ring the two of them up.

“Woah! Mom, look at him!” Your attention flashes over to the door to see Vessel frozen in place as every pair of eyes in the store land on him. As quickly as he caught their attention it was gone, the bustling energy returning once more as everyone continued their shopping. You motion him closer with a wave of your hand. Declan stared up at the large masked man in amazement. “What are you supposed to be?”

Vessel gives you the briefest of looks, not exactly sure how to respond at first. But, seeing the boy's bright smile and lack of fear, it warmed his heart. He leans down, resting his elbows on the counter to bring himself closer to eye level. “The Grim Reaper, pretty scary, right?” He says with a grin.

“Awesome!” Declan exclaims in response. “Mom, can we make a costume like his next year?” Vessel chuckles at the young boy’s excitement.

“Sure thing, honey.” She ruffles Declan’s hair. “Come on, let’s let Miss (Y/N) close up so she can get ready.” You exchange goodbye’s with her, Declan telling you that he hopes you get to see his costume before hurrying out the door.

“So far so good.” You remark as you lean against the counter, you and Vessel shifting to more easily face each other. “I promise tonight will be fun.” You reach out, grabbing his shoulder and giving it a reassuring squeeze.

“Well, if you talk so highly about this festival, I can't see any harm in giving it a shot.” You wait for your last few customers to file out of the store before locking up.

“Where's everyone else?” You ask, looking out in the empty lot for their truck.

“They're in back, I hope you don't mind.”

“Not at all.” You click off your open sign with a smile, motioning with a nod for Vessel to follow you out the front door. Your keys jingled in your hand as you struggled with the lock. “You'd think after all this time I wouldn't mess this up.” You sigh. The front door had a tendency to not shut fully unless things were maneuvered a certain way; the keys had to be slid into the lock a certain way, you had to push the door fully shut with your shoulder, you felt your cheeks start to burn as you struggled with something so simple in Vessel’s presence.

“Mind if I give it a try?” He offers quietly. You shuffle out of his way, the heat of his body noticeable against yours as he slid a little too close behind you. He jiggles the key slightly, slamming his shoulder into the glass pane’s metal frame, managing to slide the deadbolt into place. He pulls on the handle a couple times, making sure it's fully secure, before turning to you with a proud smile. “There, that should do it. He follows you out back, the other three members of the usual group lounging in the cab of the truck. IV was the first to notice you, perking up in his seat when his eyes landed on your approaching form. He nudges II, who looks up immediately from the book he was reading at the mention of your name.

“Where's your costume?” III asks in mock annoyance. He hops down from his place situated in the bed of the truck, his long strides allowing him to approach you quickly and pull you into his arms. He pulls back slightly, his blue eyes finding yours and making you freeze under their warm gaze. “Promise me I'll get you to myself for at least a little while tonight.” You could hear the smile he was wearing under his mask lace it's way through his words. Before you had a chance to respond the passenger door of the truck was kicked open, IV practically falling to the ground as he scrambled out. Your eyes darted up to three, the corners of his eyes crinkling as he gazed down at you. He gives you a quick wink before he steps back, satisfied with your flustered state. 

IV bounds up to you, excitedly taking your hands in his. “I can't wait to see your costume.” You jump slightly as a warm hand if placed against your lower back, you caught the sight of II in your peripheral.

“Well we have to let her go get changed into it first.” He chuckles. “It's good to see you, love.”

“Come on guys.” You chuckle, motioning for the four of them to follow you. “You can hang out upstairs while I get ready.”

It always made your heart swell every time they were all together in one place. The warm, me jovial energy that filled your apartment had you practically skipping to your room to get changed. You could hear the four of them continue to talk in the living room, just quiet enough to make it so you couldn't hear. You opened your closet, pulling out the neatly packaged bag that contained your costume. You shimmied into the tight dress, the stretchy fabric hugging all of your curves just right. Was this the most original costume in the world? Absolutely not. But, considering you were hoping to catch the attention of some masked men in particular this evening, you figured it wouldn't hurt to be a little cliche. You did your makeup as quickly as you could, a dark smokey eye that was finished off by you drawing a little black nose at the tip of your own with eyeliner. You grabbed the headband from your vanity, adjusting it perfectly atop your head before giving yourself one final once over in the mirror and heading back out to your waiting guests. The room fell silent the second you stepped through your door, four pairs of eyes locked on your small form. All of the sudden attention made you feel self conscious about your costume choice, maybe this wasn't such a good idea after all. You wrapped your arms around your torso, your cheeks warming as you looked between the four. “Does it look ba-”

You didn't have a chance to finish your question before they were all scrambling out of their various seats towards you. All of them reassuring you that you looked fantastic and apologizing for staring. Your small group prepared to head out, III hung back to wait for you, his monstrous form taking up most of the doorway. You smile up at him as you straighten up from pulling on your shoes. “You look beautiful.” He compliments you softly, making your cheeks warm.

“Thank you.” He slips his hands into yours, his lips warm through his mask as he places a soft kiss to your knuckles.

“Ready to get going?” You nod, letting your hand reluctantly fall from his.

You piled into their truck, you were currently squished in between Vessel and II, III and IV curled up in the bed. “So, you're all excited about this festival, what are we even going to be doing?” Vessel asks suddenly, breaking the silence in the truck.

“Well,” you start, “there's going to be a lot of food, hay rides, a costume contest, lots of vendors from around the town, a few rides, a haunted house. It's nothing spectacular, but I’m hoping it will make you guys feel more at home here.” You noticed him and II exchange a look over your head. It wasn't long before you pulled into the bumpy dirt parking lot of the fair grounds. III vaulted out of the truck, his heavy boots landing on the ground with a loud thud. You notice II shove him back slightly as he holds out his hand to help you out of the truck. He gives your hand a soft squeeze before dropping it, you were quickly surrounded by the four men, all of you chatting happily as you made your way up to the festival. The four froze, taking in the chaotic sight before then. IV reached out, slipping his hand into yours.

“There's a lot of people, huh?” He asks, startling back slightly as a child rushes past his legs.

“The whole town’s probably going to show up.” You explain. You lean on closer to him, “you alright big guy? We can always turn around and go back to my place if this is too much.” You squeeze his hand reassuringly.

“I think I can handle it if you're by my side.” You noticed his features soften as he smiles under his mask. Your cheeks warm, your eyes darting to the ground in an attempt to try and hide your flustered expression.

“Where should we start?” III slips an arm around your shoulder, you instinctually lean into his side.

“You're the expert, love, lead the way.” Vessel shoots you a sharp grin. The group stayed close to your side, forming a buffer between you and the rest of the crowd. You wandered from booth to booth, letting the boy's childlike wonder take over as they excitedly showed you small trinkets and hand made gifts they stumbled across. The booth of old ladies selling goat milk soap cooed over how adorable all your costumes were, slipping sweets into all your hands as you made your way out. You paused in front of a vendor selling handmade jewelry, you jumped slightly as a hand came to rest on your waist.

“That would look very pretty on you.” II’s gentle voice meets your ears.

“You think so?” You ask through a flustered giggle. II asked to see the necklace in question, the beautifully wire wrapped crystal sparkling in the gradually setting sun. “It is really pretty.”

“How much?” He asks without hesitation. The young woman running the stand told him the price, to which II shocked you by immediately purchasing the necklace. He steps behind you, your hand raising to the unfamiliar weight as it falls around your neck. “A beautiful necklace for the most beautiful woman in the world.” His warm breath bounces off your cheek as he speaks, sending a shiver down your spine. You glance over your shoulder, your eyes immediately finding his bright blue ones.

“You know you didn't have to buy me anything.” You see the corners of his eyes crinkle as he smiles.

“What if I wanted to?” You didn't miss the teasing tone that had laced its way into his words. You traced a finger along the cool metal wire, fully turning yourself to face him. You glance up at him through your lashes, struggling to find the right words to say to thank him. You pushed yourself up onto your toes, quickly pressing a kiss to his cheek.

“Well, I think that’s very sweet. Thank you, II.” You perk up at the sound of one of the others calling your name, III appearing at your side and slipping his hand into yours.

“Mind if I steal her from you?” He quickly asks II.

“Not at all.” He holds up his hands with a soft chuckle. “I'm sure I'll manage to snag her back later.” He winks at you, making your cheeks grow warm.

“What a shame,” III leans down to murmur quietly in your ear, “looks like I'm going to have to beat them off with a stick to get you to myself.”

“Careful, you're all going to make me think you have a crush on me or something.” You tease in response, shooting him a playful smile of your own.

“Only a pretty little thing like you could handle something like that.” He winks. “I want to make sure you eat before IV gets over excited and drags you off to the rides.” He jokes with a smile. He tucks you safely into his side, helping you avoid the bustling crowd that surrounded you.

“Are you having a good time?” You ask him softly. He glances down at you, the corners of his eyes crinkling as he smiles.

“Yeah, I’m spending time with you, of course I’m having a good time.” You let out a bashful giggle, quickly turning away as you feel your cheeks grow warm. 

As the evening carried on you couldn't help but notice II grow more fidgety with every passing hour, occasionally leaning into Vessel to whisper something only for the taller man to clap him on the shoulder and give him a reassuring grin. You were currently sat in a circle on the ground, finding a nice place in the open field to settle down and have some good together. You laughed as IV expertly stole a bite of your corn dog faster than you could comprehend what had happened. “What's your favorite ride?” II suddenly chimes in from his position sitting across from you.

“I'm personally a big fan of the haunted house, I think all the cheap jump scares are fun.” You respond with a laugh.

IV makes an intrigued noise. “We should all go on!”

“Only two people can ride together, unfortunately.”

“Well, how about you ride with me then?” II winks at you, making you blush.

“If you think you can handle it.” You tease in response. II stands, offering you his hand which you eagerly accept. He hoists you from the ground, pulling you into his side and slinging his arm across your shoulders. Vessel tagged along with IV, knowing it would be the only way to stop him from complaining about how he wanted to go too, III elected to stay back to save your spot. You all chatted happily as you stood in line, the slow creeping pace allowing them to see a little of what the ride had in store for them.

Brown metal buggies horribly painted to look like wood creaked along the track, bat shaped hood ornaments were barely recognizable after years of dings and chipped paint.A repeating track of over dramatic screams and ghoulish moaning looped from the speakers. “Next in line, please!” The ticket collector barked, IV and Vessel stepped up first, IV practically vibrating with excitement as he waited for the all clear to get on. II’s arm slid around your waist as you stepped forward, waiting patiently for the next cart to wheel itself into place. “Y’all have fun.” He waves you on. II helps you step into the cart, your body thudding against the thin, leather covered padding on the seat.

“You’re not going to get all scared on me now, are you?” You ask in a playful tone.

“Oh, don’t worry sweetheart, I’ll be right here to protect you.” He returns with a smirk. Your body lurched slightly as the buggy started to move. You were hit with a blast of cold air as you crept into the dark space, II’s arm wrapping around your shoulders, you found yourself instinctually snuggling into his side. You jumped slightly, giggling over being startled by the second air cannon you had rolled past.

You rolled past a growling werewolf, “Look, you can see the wires.” You nudge him slightly, pointing upwards.

“I personally think it adds to the experience.” He chuckles, you can’t help but laugh yourself. “You’re so beautiful.” You feel your breath freeze in your lungs at his compliment. You clung to him as something shot out of the darkness at you, it took you a moment to recognize the plastic skeleton’s limbs rattling at you. Your eyes are drawn back to him as you feel a warm hand slip over your cheek. “And you thought I was going to be the one getting scared.” He chuckles, his eyes flashing briefly to your lips. “Cute.” He fidgets with the edge of his mask for a moment, stretching the black fabric away from his neck. “Can- can I, um…” He swallows thickly, his confidence immediately crumbling as you continue to cling to him for comfort. “Can I kiss you?” You nodded, your wide eyes glimmering in the dim light. Without hesitation II lifts his mask, his lips slotting perfectly against your own. Your hand slides over his chest, you could feel his heart pounding under your palm. As quickly as the kiss had started it was over, II’s mask already neatly back in place by the time your eyes fluttered open. You hide your face against his neck, hoping he hadn’t noticed your flustered appearance. “That was nice.” He suddenly chimes in, making you giggle. You both reluctantly shuffle away from each other as the exit opens in front of you, squinting under the bright lights. II offers you his hand to help you from the cart, your eyes meeting his as he smiles. Your pinky wraps around his as he lets his hand slip out of your grasp. You hear him laugh softly at your actions, allowing your fingers to stay linked.

“That wasn’t even scary.” IV groans as you approach.

“I never said it was scary, I just said I liked it.” You respond. Vessel smiles down at you.

“How was riding with II?” He asks with a chuckle. Your cheeks immediately warm at the question.

“We had fun.” You get out through a nervous giggle. 

“Well, look who’s back.” You can’t help but smile at III’s cheerful tone. He hoists himself up from his position on the ground with a soft groan. “How was it beautiful?” Your eyes trailed after the people that were starting to gather in the open field.

“It was fun.” You felt a pang of guilt in your chest as you thought about kissing II. “See anything interesting while we were gone?”

“There’s a pretty good band playing over there.” He nods somewhere behind you. “Want to go check it out?”

“Sure.” You can’t help but smile as you feel the warmth of III’s hand brush against yours. The two of you lazily strolled in the direction of the music that floated through the air. A local folk group was currently performing under a gazebo, a small dance floor set up in front of the stage. You laughed as III took your hand and spun you around in time with the music, pulling you to him and swaying you in his arms.

“Do you know how to dance?” He asks with a grin.

“Not very well,” you giggle in response, “but I feel like with you that won’t matter too much.” You found yourself easily falling into a rhythm with him, every small misstep and teasing comment from him made you both crumble into fits of laughter. You both paused, looking up at the sky with the rest of the crowd as fireworks started going off overhead. III continues to hold you close, your arms sliding over his shoulders as the two of you watch the display. He fully encircles your waist with one arm, his hand sliding over your cheek, turning your face in order for his warm lips to find yours. Unlike the kiss with II, III took his time letting the sensation of kissing you sink in. You felt so small in his arms, the gentle dominance he had over the kiss allowing your body to fully relax into his embrace as your eyes fluttered shut. He traces a thumb along your jaw before hesitantly pulling away.

“I’m sorry, I couldn’t help myself.” He rushes to apologize, his body relaxing at the sight of the soft smile that had laced its way across your lips. Your eyes meet his, bright blue irises scanned your features with an adoration you had never seen. “I really like you.”

“III-”

“There you guys are!” He jolts back from you, the sudden lack of warmth making you shiver. “We’ve been looking all over the place for you!” It was IV, he jogged up to you. “Vessel wants to get going.”

You found yourself in the cab of the truck between Vessel and IV, II and III electing to sit in the bed for the ride back to your place. Your mind raced as you played over both men kissing you over and over again in your head. You didn’t know what to do. On one hand there was II, his silent charm and the undeniable intimacy the two of you have has drawn you in from the beginning. But then there was III, who made your heart race and dominated every aspect of your senses whenever you were with him. Who, despite his monstrous size, was always so gentle with you. You were absolutely torn. You rumbled into the store’s parking lot, Vessel parking the truck around back. You stood at the bottom of your stairs in a small circle. “Well, I hate to admit it, but that was pretty fun.” Vessel grins at you, there were murmurs of agreement amongst the group.

“Do you guys want to come up for a bit? There’s, um, there’s kind of something I need to talk to you about.” You fidget with your hands as you nervously put the statement out there. You were going to deal with feeling conflicted the only way you knew how, by facing the problem head on.

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Tag List: @spookyghostjelly @herripinkle @thepoisonedchalice @saturnhas82moons @wingsofeternitysstuff @creamwhxre @itsyagirl-snowflake @themultiverseofmars @bookishpenguino @m0cha-bunny @madsthenightowl @dangerkittenclaws @rainy-darling @shad0wcast @amara-among-the-stars @v3nu5s @dontpercieve-me-pls @ripleyswife @thepityscene @lipstick-and-lycanthropes @vmpireskiss @savaneafricaine @sanekiii @ajordan2020 @diditgirl13 @sodomizerrrrr @mishaglass @thisbicc @chewbrry @backwards-readings @popppylove @lovelyan @asianchic-44 @littlemiss-sakura @sleepy-time-dreamy @xdarkcreaturex @deltottoro @chewbrry @thisbicc @miss-multi45 (If I missed you or you would like to be added to the tag list please let me know!)

#vessel sleep token #sleep token vessel #iii sleep token #iv sleep token #sleep token #sleep token iii #sleep token iv #sleep token worship #sleep token ii #ii sleep token #sleep token x reader #vessel x reader #ii x reader #iii x reader #iv x reader #poly sleep token #fluff #fan fic #fan fiction #fanfic #fanfiction #sleep token band #sleep token fan fiction #x reader #x reader fan fiction #x reader insert #x you #vessel x you #vessel x y/n #x y/n

[aureutr]

Chapters: 1/1 Fandom: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Original Trilogy, The Mandalorian (TV) Rating: Explicit Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Din Djarin/Luke Skywalker, Biggs Darklighter/Luke Skywalker, Din Djarin/Biggs Darklighter/Luke Skywalker Characters: Din Djarin, Luke Skywalker, Biggs Darklighter Additional Tags: That's Not How The Force Works (Star Wars), Canonical Character Death, Cinnamon Roll Luke Skywalker, Luke Skywalker Needs A Hug, Mand'alor Din Djarin, (though it's not really relevant), Established Relationship, Married Couple, Planet Fest (Star Wars), Anal Fingering, Rimming, Anal Sex, Threesome - M/M/M, well sort of, Sharing a Body, Possession, Ghost Sex, Closure, Din Djarin is the best husband, Gift Fic Series: Part 6 of Dinluke One Shots Summary:

While searching for Jedi temples, Din and Luke find one that seems to predate the Jedi entirely. It lies in ruins, the only hint of its purpose some writing chiseled into the wall of one chamber:

Step through, you who ache. Bring a vessel, willing and open, for closure and acceptance.

#dinluke #skydalorian #writing #a willing vessel #fanfiction #star wars #the mandalorian #luke skywalker #din djarin #biggs darklighter #biggsluke #dinbiggsluke #i am once again writing the first fic in a poly pairing lol #I'm not as happy with the dialogue as I could be but pretty pleased with the rest

[aloesarchives]

Two for the Price of One (JJK Oneshot)

TW/Warnings: Profanity, NOT POLY SATOSUGU X READER, Fem Reader and She/Her pronouns, ANGST, Angst for Satoru and Reader, Bittersweet ending for Suguru and Reader, HIGHKEY MISCOMMUNICATION, Possible OOC Satoru, abandonment issues if you squint really hard, Reader slowly losing herself, Reader feeling depression/hopeless(implicit), Reader's has a healthy dynamic with her clan

Series: Jujutsu Kaisen

Pairing: Satoru Gojo x Fem!Reader/Suguru Geto x Fem!Reader

AU: Canon

Pronouns: She/Her(Reader's clan has a unrealistic healthy and understanding relationship with her)

Word Count: 6.1k words

Summary: Gojo's lack of coping caused you to drift away and eventually depart after Suguru's defection from Jujutsu Society.

(A/N): I know it doesn't make sense and will make many frustrated with how dumb this is. I just wanted to write my emotions out with this one, okay? I know this wouldn't slide but I'm a sucker for these scenarios. Edit: Since I've been getting positive reactions from you guys, I decided to take out the cringe/unrealistic out of the warning/tws lists. I truly love and appreciate you, loves!❤️

[!!Semi-edited & Proofread!!! 2/8/2024 4:04pm CST]

It was hard on all of you.

More so for you and Satoru.

Ever since Geto’s massacre and defection, the higher-ups and Jujutsu society have been scrambling to get the chaos under control. Having a special grade user become a curse user was sounding red alarms as there was an immediate threat to present-day Jujutsu sorcery.

You knew something was up with Suguru. You did; your observation wouldn’t allow things to go unnoticed. It was a bit here and there, but never a significant concern. You tried coaxing him gradually to open up to you, but your efforts were fruitless. No bells were ringing until the post-Plasma Star Vessel incident. You felt the shift in Suguru’s aura; you noticed his lifeless stare—the growing dark circles around his eyes surrounding the tiny flicker of life left inside. 

You tried being there for Suguru. You did anything and everything to accompany him and not leave him alone. It was selfish of you. To be desperate for your best friend to lean on you for support and not to go down a destructive path. You became even more worried when Haibara returned cold with a frustrated and traumatized Nanami. It was becoming more evident of Suguru’s deteriorating condition, you to confide in Shoko and even Yaga-sensei. 

Grief is like love, a twisted parasitic curse. Even though a year has passed, your grief was a malevolent spirit that latched itself onto your shoulders with a vice grip. A bitter reminder of how Suguru never said goodbye to you. He technically did with Satoru. But it was more of him telling Satoru that he was severing ties with Jujutsu Society by questioning him with his newfound powers. All you got from Suguru was a simple letter Shoko gave you at your dorm. She was with you as you read it. Tear droplets stained the paper, words smeared, and became unreadable. Out of pure frustration, you ripped the paper in half—the tearing of paper cut through the sickening silence. Shoko hugged you as you sobbed in the aftermath. While you were mourning the loss of your friend and your lives together, you were also mourning your life after this would never be the same. It would only get worse from here. 

 Satoru is tossed onto multiple missions left and right, never catching a break.

And there was you, trying to return to your regular school life. Or how every day can it be now? One of your best friends just murdered an entire village and his parents, and the other one is overworking himself to the very bone. Shoko being there for you was a surprising one, but at the same time, it wasn’t. Given that she was the first one Suguru said goodbye to, she understood his actions.

The problem was trying to tell Satoru about it, but he would brush it off, saying that maybe it was the change in weather or sickness. When you tried to explain there was more to it, Satoru would wave his hand at you, saying, 

“You’re overthinking too much, (Y/N)-chan! I’m sure Suguru is fine. We just have to give him some time.”

Though the tone was light-hearted, it provided no comfort. You know Satoru was suffering as well. Individuals process trauma differently, after all. You were seeing this first hand. 

Satoru was overcompensating to the world of Jujutsu with his enlightenment, overworking himself and burying his pain through that charismatic mask he now dons. Suguru is the most common one: Insomnia, isolation, and depression. He slowly became a lifeless husk. On the other hand, you were coping by trying to move forward while acting like a rock for them. Despite the hard transition, you didn’t deny your trauma as you slowly worked to process and navigate through it. You had the support of Shoko, your teacher, and even your clan/family stepped in to support your mental health endeavors. They went as far as providing you with a therapist, who was also a sorcerer.

But you all were suffering in silence.

A year has passed since Suguru left, and you were getting by. You, Shoko, and Satoru would graduate in the third year and officially become Jujutsu Sorcerers. Yet, at this point, it felt more like only you and Shoko. Satoru still attended class and hung out, but missions mainly preoccupied his school life. He recently returned from Hokkaido, only to be sent out again. This time, however, it was somewhere in Western Europe. That’s on the other side of the world. It would only be for a week, but still. You wanted him to rest or take a break, as he never did– not since the incident.

He wouldn’t be leaving for another seven days, so you had enough time to be with him. Yet it was challenging because Satoru didn’t let up. The ravine he created kept opening, the distance stretching far and deep, pushing you away.

Just like Suguru.

You didn’t want to lose Satoru. You almost did, becoming a grim reminder of how much you cared for Satoru Suguru. To fall for your best friend was a betrayal. You didn’t mean it, but Satoru did things that made your heart warm and fluttered. Suguru was the first to catch on; he saw your crush a mile away. Confiding in Suguru about it, you found solace in his words– feeding into an enviable delusion. 

Unbeknownst to you, Suguru's eyes were able to hide his longing for you as you rambled about Satoru and your latest hangout together. Suguru always thought you and Satoru had a special connection—your two powerful chemistry and how you bounce off each other. He presumed Satoru had mutual feelings, but nothing was said. Once he left, he knew you had his heart. There was no space for anyone else to fill it but you. And Suguru was more than willing to live with reality. If the girl who gave his life light is with his best friend, so be it. He would settle with the heartache as long as you were happy.

But you weren’t happy at all.

Over time, you started questioning whether the life of a Jujutsu Sorcerer was worth it. Yes, you were born into the world of Jujutsu, and it has been your whole life. But the last two years radically changed that. You were already exposed to this life's dangers and cruelty; prepare to face it head-on no matter what. Yet second thoughts became third thoughts. Then, fourth, fifth, sixth, and seventh. The more you challenge your initial mindset, the more doubts seep into its cracks.

Why should I continue when I am nothing more than a placeholder in this world?

How can I save everyone if I can’t save one person?

Where is the meaning in all of this if I’ll just die alone and be replaced and forgotten?

Was this endless cycle of Jujutsu Sorcery even worth it?

You wondered if Suguru shared the same thoughts to push him to his decision. Now, you don’t blame him for leaving at all. It was grime. It was depravity. It was futile. You only stayed because you had your clan. You had Yaga-sensei and Shoko. But most of all, you had Satoru to shoulder the burdens of the Jujutsu world.

That’s. . .what you thought. . .

You decided to go to Satoru’s dorm to check up on him. Maybe squeeze a hangout in there. Gently knocking, you hope he was there since you couldn’t sense him around the campus. There was faint shuffling on the other side, signaling he was. You softly call out to him as you knock again. Once opened, Satoru greeted you in his school uniform. You found it odd since he’d switched to his comfortable clothes after school hours. 

“Hi, Toru! I just came by to see how you’re doing. The mochi store we always go to releases its seasonal flavors today! Why don’t you come with me? I heard one of your favorites returned, so I didn’t want you to miss it.”

“I appreciate the thought, (Y/N). But not today, I’m sorry.” Satoru said with a smile.

You couldn’t pinpoint his smile, tittering on, sad and strained. A tinge of uneasiness settled inside your heart, but you still wore your smile to not let it surface.

“C’mon, Toru! You don’t know if they will sell out today. Plus, the weather is great. I heard some festivals with food stands are opening up because of that. It wouldn’t hurt to go out just this once, Satoru.”

Satoru’s smile disappears at your insistence, replacing it with a fine line. His mood change didn’t sit well with you. You had previous attempts to get Satoru to care for himself. However, this is different from all your others because the band that holds your desperation began to wane itself thin. Your solid composure falters in bits. Your bright aura slowly dimmed as your now chapped lips twitched.

“Satoru, I know that you’re busy. Always on missions, meeting the higher-ups, your clan needing you more than ever, you have your hands tied. But it wouldn’t be too much just to enjoy yourself. Just come with me today before you go to Europe next week. It’s been a while since we hung out together.”

“Look (Y/N), I don’t really have time for this. I need to head out now, or it will get dark. Maybe another time–”

Then something inside of you snaps. You didn’t know whether it was your desperation or uneasiness, but assumed both because your facade crumbles to reveal your emotions.

“You always say later, Satoru, but never do! You haven’t taken a break in months! You’ve gotten paler, and your under-eyes are darker than before! You’re pushing yourself too hard and beginning to neglect yourself. Toru, Please! I’m worried about you! You know I can always help you–”

“For the love of God, (Y/N)! Can you STOP TALKING?! GOD, YOUR VOICE MAKES MY EARS BLEED! LIKE HELL YOU WOULD UNDERSTAND MY RESPONSIBILITIES!”

 It was never your intention to snap. But the way Satoru was acting paralleled Suguru. Eat, sleep, and go on missions. It was always those three, the same ones Suguru was subjected to that became a factor in his defection. Satoru was caught in the vicious cycle that pushed Suguru over the edge. 

On top of your crippling fear of Satoru sharing the same fate as Suguru, Déjà vu struck you. Desperation emerged from within as you didn’t want to lose him, breaking your resolve before him. Desperation was fear in another form. 

You weren’t the only one to reach a breaking point. Satoru snapped as well and at you, of all people. You guessed it was from all the stress and emotions he bottled up that exploded there. What Satoru was experiencing was valid and understandable; you knew this. Yet to blow up at you was uncalled for as you made it clear you’re only helping. Your eyes sting as you feel the formation of tears ready themselves, biting the inside of your bottom lip to keep your voice from breaking.

“B-but. . .Satoru. . .I w-was only trying to–” You stuttered out, forcibly pushing out words to fill the silence.

“Help? You were trying to help, (Y/N)?”

Once saying that Satoru let out a sarcastic laughter that could be mistaken for madness. Horror took over your face. Pain-filled eyes were glossed over, showing your tears could spill at any moment. His laughter abruptly stopped, making it so quiet that only your staggered breathing could be heard. He meets his eyes with yours with the most disdain you have ever seen.

“Do you think you could help when you’re just dead weight? You thought you were on par with Suguru and me. Get that out of your stupid little head of yours (Y/N). You were never strong like us.”

“You don’t mean that, right, Satoru?” You said incredulity as you reached out for him. Only for your hand to freeze before him, not going any further. A chill flashed over you, adding to the aching that enveloped your soul.

Did he– Did he just use his infinity on you?

“Oh, but I do. Now, I need to be somewhere. Do yourself a favor, (Y/N), and don’t bother me with your weak presence.”

And before you knew it, Satoru was already gone. He had used his teleportation to get to where he was needed. Leaving you alone with the door to his dorm wide open. The sounds of the crickets took over. They were paired with your small sniffles, furiously wiping away your nonstop tears. 

Were you weak to him?

Have you really been holding everyone back?

Were you that much of a nuisance to him?

Is this how Satoru really felt about you?

Has he always felt this way?

You never saw utter detest and contempt from Satoru. Your previous interactions had him irritated or annoyed, but never like this. This was the first time Satoru had blown up on you, let alone given you such a reaction. Before, you’d repeatedly remind him of your support and help. But it always ends the same way, pushing you away. After what happened, this will be the last time you’d do this for him. 

You were once told that you can’t help someone if they aren’t reaching out for help. And this was a bitter example of it. Your efforts in having Satoru lean on you bore nothing. What’s the point in continuing this if nothing changes after multiple attempts?

You were tired, drained, and indifferent. Your tears keep falling as you enter your dorm, not even stopping as the sound of nature lulls you to sleep. 

You let two days pass to let Satoru calm down and give him space. No interactions or anything to pass some time. You would try to contact him for the next four days after that. But your texts were left unanswered and on read. When you tried calling, your call went straight to voicemail. He blocked your phone number, too. 

 The weight of your doubts and Satoru’s words the other day are fueling your impulsivity. If Satoru called you weak and dead weight, other sorcerers would think so, too. If you become a thorn in their side, you’re doing them a favor by pulling yourself out for them. Even if Satoru didn’t mean it, you knew there was some truth to it because he kept his infinity up. You could never forget how his blue eyes lit through his pitch-dark glasses as he spoke down at you. Giving away that he was conscious and level-headed when he said those words.

You were losing the war against your intrusive mind. Your doubts and thoughts gradually solidified in your consciousness. In the course of time, they won and consumed your psyche.

If becoming a jujutsu sorcerer would get in the way of others, then being a sorcerer wasn’t for you.

With your last attempts to contact Satoru, you have made your decision. A day before Satoru departs for Europe, you decide to pay your clan head a visit. It was sudden and unannounced; nonetheless, they allowed an audience with you. 

They let you speak your mind, allowing whatever you need to be released and run free without judgment. Thus, you confided in them about everything.

This was too much; all of it was too much for you to bear any longer. You couldn’t see yourself as a sorcerer any longer after dealing with what you had experienced. Every day was a battle for you, and you lost every single one. You admitted you didn’t have what’s left of you it in you to shoulder the responsibilities of the Jujutsu world. You didn’t want the life of a jujutsu sorcerer anymore. You wanted one of peace, not having to fight every day. To enjoy the rest of your days as a regular civilian.

Confiding also in missing Suguru dearly and how his departure left a hole in your heart that could never be healed. You weren’t strong enough to face the horrors and hardships anymore and wish to live a peaceful life. 

Although your clan head was shocked at your confession, they were understanding and asked if this was something you truly wanted. An unwavering ‘Yes’ left you, and your clan head nodded. They gave you a choice: to go after graduation in a few weeks or leave now. If you leave now, they will deal with the rest as you finish the important schoolwork. It was just a waiting game with missions sprinkled throughout.

You could wait before leaving, but that’s wasting time. If you weren’t going to continue your life here, you might as well get a headstart now in your new one. You finalize your decision with the head. They said they would have some members pick up your stuff from your dorms tomorrow morning, but you said it wouldn’t be much. As you took your leave, you told them you would keep in touch with the clan. 

“What are your plans for what happens next, (Y/N)?” They curiously asked with your back facing them.

“Hmm, I don’t know exactly. But I have an idea, (Clan Head’s Name). Thank you for everything that you’ve done.”

With a reassuring voice, you turn to respectfully bow before leaving their room. Though they never said it out loud, they saw how your eyes were soft, like tremendous pressure was relieved from your body.

Thinking about it as you leave the estate, you never mentioned your fight with Satoru. Though it wouldn’t change anything. That night, you packed your dorm in your suitcase. Only leave your bedsheets, a pillow, and a few desk appliances behind. Your closet and drawers were empty of any clothes you had. By 10 a.m. tomorrow, any trace left of you would be gone. As you write a letter to whoever finds it about your whereabouts, your thoughts return to Suguru. To playfully think he did the exact same thing before his defection. 

You looked at your school uniform as it hung on your door. You contemplated taking it with you but decided against it. You wanted no strings left attached when you leave the world of Jujutsu Sorcery.

Morning came as you stared at the room you once called your own. The remainder of your things are packed in cardboard boxes for your clan members to get later. You glance back over to your desk as your school uniform is neatly folded on top of it. Your lips are graced with a sentimental smile as you close the door one last time. 

As you walked along the campus, fleeting memories of your days here flooded your mind. You reminisced on the areas and places you spent your youth with your friends and classmates. Now you’re leaving Jujutsu Tech and the Jujutsu World forever. Never to come back. You get to the main entrance of the school.

Before taking another step, you sensed someone behind you.

“So you're leaving, too, (Y/N)?”

It was Shoko.

“Yeah. . . Shoko. I’m going. . .”

She blows out a large smoke cloud from her cigarette, giving you a blank look before sending you a smile.

“At least say goodbye to me. . .I don’t blame you for going. . .” Shoko adds as she holds out her arms. You chuckle at her gesture and give her a hug. By the slight firm grip you felt, she didn’t want you to go, but she couldn’t stop you either.

Once you break away from the hug, you remember something and fish out a folded paper in your bag. You handed it to Shoko, and she eyed it curiously.

“I was going to leave it in my dorm for someone to find, but I thought it would work better if I gave this to you if I ran into it on my way out. My clan is sending members to get the last of my things, so I won’t return to my dorm. Sorry I had to make you the messenger again, Shoko.” You bittersweetly said.

You find it ironic that your departure is similar to Suguru’s. Shoko is the first to see you two go while giving her a letter for the others to read. You laugh as you think this over.

Oh, how history repeats itself.

Shoko tucks away your letter before taking a drag from her smoke.

“Does he know about this?”

You knew she was referring to Satoru. You shook your head no, still have a small smile.

“No, unfortunately. Satoru and I got into a arg– disagreement a few days ago. I don’t know if he’s okay with me to begin with, as cowardly to say. The only ones that know are you and my clan head.”

She hums at your response before going for another drag.

“Your phone number still the same?”

“I don’t really plan on changing my phone number. Even if I do, I’ll text you the new number so you can give it to the others.”

“I see. . .See you around, (Y/N). Keep in touch, will ya?”

“I will. I’ll see you around then. Bye, Shoko.”

Giving Shoko one last hug, you wave goodbye as you leave Jujutsu’s High entrance, disappearing from view. Not daring to look back because regret might come if you did.

Shoko watches from afar, her cigarette being halfway done. She takes one last puff before extinguishing it with the bottom of her shoe. She looks at your letter. The paper was crisp with no wrinkles like it had been fresh from the printer. From this, Shoko knew you had written it recently, no hesitation evident on the page itself. Unlike Suguru’s, her fingers tighten on your letter as she sighs while entering the school.

— — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — —

“What brings you here? He’s a busy man.”

“I’m just an old acquaintance of his. Just a simple chat. It won’t take long, I promise.”

The pretty attendant raises a brow at you as she guides you to one of the rooms. She looks you up and down before facing forward again.

“You have a substantial amount of curse energy. You have a curse technique then; aren’t you a jujutsu sorcerer?”

“I…used to be…but not anymore…I chose to leave that life. I’m just a civilian that has a curse technique.”

You see the attendant smile out of the corner of your eye at your answer. 

“I see. Geto-sama will be happy to take audience with you then.”

You shouldn’t be here. You knew that. Walking in taboo territory could get you hunted down by the very society you were born into. It’s not a secret of Suguru’s position as both a curse user and a cult leader. You remember hearing about him reforming a cult that worshiped Tengan but dissolved after the incident. You found it interesting he hasn’t done collateral damage yet. No incidents or missions revolving around curses terrorizing civilians. Perhaps he was going for something on a larger scale, you thought.

But you missed Suguru dearly. Not in a sentimental reminiscing way. More as in yearning for him entirely. Everyone tells you it’s not the same with Suguru gone, obviously. Yeah, but Suguru plagued your mind after his defection. You want nothing more than to see him again. Yes, things couldn’t go back to the way they were. But you didn’t like the prospects of what your future would hold if you stayed.

You disagreed with Suguru ridding the world of non-sorcerers. But you also understand and agree the current Jujutsu system is a dumpster fire that will never work. At the end of the day, only those the higher-ups favor will get to stay while the rest are sent off to die. You didn’t want to take part in that. You valued your life to know it shouldn’t be tossed around so easily by some dementia geezers who can’t even fight. And yet, you felt a tinge of regret for not staying to fix or break the system. Your only option was to leave and not involve yourself anymore.

The attendant takes you to the room, saying he will arrive shortly. Leaving you alone, you felt your heart race. You hope Suguru doesn’t kill you because he can sense your curse energy. Yet his letter was heartfelt and raw. His apology and the paragraphs after them were for you and you alone, like a confession. Even though you ripped the letter, you keep the two halves. Strangely enough, there was an address and a few words at the bottom of the page. 

‘You know where to find me.’

Here you are, waiting for him with the same letter he sent. As you wait, you can feel his energy get closer. You stare down, kneeling, the letter shaking like a leaf in your hands.

Then the door opens.

You let out a small gasp, not daring to look up as the footsteps approach his seat. A soft chuckle fills the room as you keep your head low.

“I thought I was mistaken when I felt your curse energy. But I now know my mind wasn’t playing tricks on me. Please, lift your head so I can see you (Y/N).”

Your gaze meets Suguru’s soft eyes and warm smile. Both genuine and kind. His eyes widen before returning back to soft when he sees the tears trickling down for your lovely eyes he could get lost in. You stumble to stand, practically pouncing at Suguru. His embrace was like gates opening for you and closing once you entered. You softly sob into his robes as he holds you tightly. Comforting you by gently rubbing your back and hair, giving a soft kiss to the top of your head.

“I missed you so much, Suguru!” was all you said before you continued to sniffle and hiccup into him.

Suguru hums as he pulls away to better view your face. You felt self-conscious as he lovingly gazed at you. Your nose and cheeks were raw from crying, and your eyes became an irritated red. Suguru smiles, wiping away your endless tears with his thumb.

“Oh, (Y/N). I’m sorry for leaving you behind. You understand, don’t you? From my letter?”

You nodded to respond. Holding the paper in front of Suguru. He notices the tear stains and ink smudges from the words he wrote down.

“I would’ve told you in person, (Y/N). Believe me. But I couldn't once they announced my charges. You would’ve been questioned as a possible accomplice. I didn’t want that for you. Do you know what it means for you to see me now?”

“Yes, I’m aware. But I left of my own accord; it wasn’t just for you, Suguru. I wouldn’t be able to last long if I stayed. So I decided to go, leaving it behind, all of it.”

He was a bit puzzled by what you meant. But it didn’t take long for him to piece it himself. Suguru figured something happened between you and Satoru but decided to stay silent out of respect. You both stare with relief and tenderness. Suguru gingerly takes your hand and places a light kiss on your knuckles. You set your unoccupied hand on his cheek, quietly giggling as Suguru leans into your delicate touch. He sighed in contentment. Bring your hand up again to kiss it as he wraps his free arm around your waist. His sincere smile radiates down onto you.

“I guess we have some catching up to do then, (Y/N).”

— — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — —

Satoru was in a better mood today than before.

Satoru cooled off his head after a couple of days from when he made that outburst at you.  He was stressed and tired of being continuously sent out on missions, and you did make a point that he hasn’t taken a break in months. He remembered what he said to you that evening, which made him feel guilty.

He knows he hasn’t been around because the higher-ups have sent him out like a work dog. It was now you and Shoko with him. The stabilization you two had on him once Suguru left.

You’ve been only trying to help him for a long time. Being there for him in your own way while coaxing him to hang out. Yet he took it for granted and said some vile things because his bucket decided to overflow then out of all the times it shouldn’t. You didn’t deserve that. You also didn’t deserve the silent treatment he gave you. He saw your text messages and listened to the voicemails you left. He did not answer because he was too prideful and stubborn to admit he was stressed and hurt you like that.

But sitting with his emotions and reflecting on how stupid he is for prioritizing his ego, he decided to cut down his pride and make it up to you. He unblocked your number and was going to call you. But he chose to just surprise you instead he chickened out. Satoru knew the European mission was a nuisance to his plans, so he had already taken care of it. By that, Satoru somehow teleported himself to where he needed to be in Europe, slayed the high-level curses, retrieved some curse objects, reported what he did, and teleported back to Japan in four hours.

He did all this at the last minute on the sixth day before Satoru was supposed to leave. He did this to stay and spend the whole week with you, make up for lost time, and give a proper apology.

Now, Satoru was strolling through Jujutsu Tech. He whistles as he holds a bouquet of (favorite flowers), a box with a (favorite color) bracelet with (favorite designs/charms), and a bag of mochi and daifuku for you two to share together. He walks around the grounds, trying to search you. He was told no classes today, so he went to your favorite spots. You weren’t anywhere.

‘Huh, that’s strange. (Y/N) would usually be in those places when class is not in session. I wonder where she could be.’

Satoru thought about dropping by your dorm but figured you were with Shoko. On the other hand, he couldn’t sense Shoko around either until Satoru felt it alongside Yaga-sensei. He sensed them in Yaga’s building, so he headed there.

Blissfully unaware of what would await him. 

Satoru clutches your gifts to one side as he opens the door to enter. His six eyes hadn’t kicked in yet, but something in the air felt off. His sun smile hasn’t dropped yet as he scans around, wondering why the two were quiet when he entered.

“Yo, Yaga-sensei, Shoko! I’ve been trying to look for you guys. By any chance know where (Y/N) is so I can give these to her?”

He looks at his teacher, and Satoru’s demeanor instantly changes. There, Yaga stood with his glasses off, clutching a piece of paper with a stern frown. Satoru turns to Shoko, a somber expression replacing her lighthearted one. Satoru just looked back and forth between the two before his eyes settled on the paper in his teacher’s hand. Satoru stands stunned, hearing his heartbeat in his ears grow louder and louder. The air from his lungs disappeared as realization dawned on him. 

Satoru clenched his teeth as he teleported to your dorm room, the clap resonating throughout the hall. He burst open your dorm door, and to his horror, your room was empty. The room was stripped of everything that made it yours. The closet and drawers were emptied, and your desk and bed were bare of anything from you. What used to be your dorm is now an empty dorm room, ready for the next person to claim it. He frantically looks around in hopes of finding any reminds of you.

Then, he spotted your old Jujutsu High uniform, laying neatly on top of your old desk. Satoru just stares, not daring to pick it up. Because if he did, he would’ve broken down. He can’t stay there anymore, to which he teleports back. He bears his pearly white teeth as he closes in on his teacher.

“Where the hell is (Y/N)?” Satoru lowly said.

“Gone, Satoru–”

“I know she’s gone! But where?! Why the hell is all her stuff gone?! Her room is completely empty!”

“Satoru,” Yaga tried calmly speaking, but he was clearly frustrated. “I know this is so sudden. But the (L/N)’s clan head said something came up with (Y/N), and they retrieved all her things. Her clan said they were going to deal with everything else.”

Satoru's breathing became staggered. He could hear it growing louder. He tried his best not to let his voice crack, but that made him angrier.

“Everything else? The hell does that mean, sensei? Why would the (L/N) clan withdraw (Y/N) from school?! School ends in a few weeks! She could have graduated with us!”

“It…wasn’t their decision, Satoru…It was (Y/N)’s…”

Suddenly, Satoru became flabbergasted. He couldn’t believe what he was hearing. This gotta be some twisted, cruel joke that was playing on him. His curse energy was flaring up, and his cerulean eyes lit lightly. The flowers from the bouquet were losing their petals, and his bag full of treats was getting smushed from his intense grip.

“What…?”

“The clan head said it themselves.”

“No…”

“She decided not to be a Jujutsu Sorcerer and leave Jujutsu society.”

“LIKE HELL SHE WOULD!!!” Just like that, everything came crashing down for Satoru. Not being in your usual spots on campus, the empty dorm; hell, he noticed your curse residuals becoming faint. The traces of them becoming weaker and weaker. Your presence here in Jujutsu High was fading faster than he could notice. The anger he built up showed itself as it was on full display. Honestly, Yaga and Shoko don’t blame him for his outburst. Satoru held you close, after all.

“Satoru, please.” Yaga pinches the bridge of his nose as he clenches his teeth. “I’m just as lost as you are. This came out of the blue…Her clan confirmed it, and she said it herself.”

Satoru slightly flinches when Yaga holds the paper out towards him. Gesturing for Satoru to take it.

“I didn’t read far into this because it felt like (Y/N) wanted someone else to read it.”

Satoru’s long fingers snatched the paper out of his teacher’s hands. His hands shake as he opens the paper up to see its contents.

It was a letter–from you.

His eyes slowly followed the words of your neatly written goodbye. His heart rips itself piece by piece as he continues reading. The guilt and shaming grew. He could feel the fatigue and jadedness from your thoughts. But the last paragraph makes Satoru’s heart hurt the worst. Your frustration was transformed into desperation for a new life, a fresh start. Away from the endless curses and scrutiny of the higher-ups, away from the pain and hopelessness, away from it all. You didn’t want to throw your life away. You just wanted to live. Then, you end the letter with an apology. Saying sorry because you couldn’t tell them your honest thoughts, for not facing them in your departure, for not trying hard enough for everyone when it was needed. Then, the last line of your apology made Satoru’s blood run cold.

‘Most of all, I’m sorry for being weak.’

He knew that line was for him 100 percent. You wouldn’t have written it down if he didn’t tell you. To Satoru, you weren’t supposed to be the one apologizing. It should be him. He was the one who yelled at you and said those cruel and discouraging things to you. The one who pushed you away and didn’t allow you a chance to help. Fuck, he had the audacity to use his infinity against you. How dare he do that to you, his best friend the girl he fell in love with. His teeth clenched so hard out of pure anger they could crack. The anger he felt for himself was tremendous. He was angry at Suguru, the higher-ups, and Jujutsu Society. Angry at himself for being so stubborn and prideful, for waiting too long to act and apologize. But above all else, he was angry at what had become of the situation. Fully knowing he could do nothing to change anything as already was set in stone.

If he hadn’t been so prideful, he would’ve apologized to you sooner. If he didn’t blow up at you, you wouldn't become broken and hurt. If only he didn’t push you away, maybe you would have stayed– stayed by his side. But ‘if onlys’ are regrets from the past of the current reality. Now, he is living in it with the consequences of his own actions.

This is the price Satoru had to pay. He lost the only remnant that got him through this world by pushing you away. He lost his only two best friends in the world with no way of fixing it. 

The price of becoming the strongest came at the expense of two of his most dearest friends.

Suguru was gone.

You were gone.

Forever with no signs of ever coming back to him. 

In the end, Satoru Gojo was, truly, alone.

#x reader #jjk x reader #jujustsu kaisen x reader #jujutsu kaisen #reader insert #fem reader #satoru x reader #suguru x reader #gojou satoru x reader #gojo x reader #jjk angst #geto suguru #satoru gojo #jjk satoru #getou suguru x reader #jjk suguru #geto x reader #x female reader #x fem!reader #x y/n #x female y/n #x reader angst #jujustu kaisen #jujutsu kaisen x reader #jujutsu kaisen x you #jujutsu kaisen x female reader #jjk x you #jjk x y/n #jjk x reader angst

[placeinthemiddleofnowhere]

Reign down on me - Part 4

Pairing: Ghost x Hybrid!reader (eventual poly!141)

No use of y/n or mention of gender/race

Summary: Reader is a wolf hybrid in a world that treats them like second class citizens, given a horrible start in life after being thrown into the military with no preparation. After years of struggle, they're finally taken away from their base by Ghost, now a permanent member of taskforce 141 reader struggles to come to terms with the fact that perhaps there's a life there for them - if only they reach out and accept it.

Warnings: hurt/comfort, Angst, abuse mentions, self doubt

-🐺-

“What the fuck do you think you’re doing, mutt?”

Your breaths were coming in hard pants, your body was worn to shreds. It took everything in you to look up at the angry face above, and when you finally mustered enough strength to tilt your head, you were met with deeply disapproving eyes. For once they didn’t rattle you, you’d already seen something so much worse. 

“She’s dead,” you murmured, looking back down at the empty eyed body across from you. 

“And you’re about to be too if you don’t get yourself together, stupid dog!”

You’d been yanked up and forced to keep running, shoved out in front of corners and into oncoming fire. It was a miracle you hadn’t joined your old teammate on the floor - not that you really saw it that way. You drew the enemy’s fire and allowed your current handler to get to exfil unharmed, you in your sorry hollow state had been shot in the chest, or the vest rather. Either way you were terribly struggling to breathe when you were eventually lugged along into the helicopter. 

It was difficult to remember much in the days after that. Your memory was a blurry haze, tugged along and shoved into transport and various different rooms until you were abandoned in an infirmary to heal. 

The main thing you remember is how the tiger girl you’d been fighting alongside had fallen, and no one else had batted an eye. She had been one of the best hybrids you’d worked with, someone the soldiers had clamoured to get onto your team, and none of them gave a shit when she’d died. The same girl that had so earnestly been teaching you and given you valuable advice for the field was no more than a few hazily remembered lessons and an empty vessel. 

The thought burned in your mind when you’d laid on the hospital bed, keeping your eyes narrowed to tiny slits and your tail twitching as you recovered. You’d been too young to actually be assigned to a combat mission, but you’d been sent along with the unit that day because they thought they were doing a routine water run to a nearby village and they’d wanted you to observe.

Now you were marred with your first battle scar and laden with the knowledge that it didn’t matter how good you did - you’d be nothing more than a pile of bones left behind to rot. 

-

“Move along, mutt!”

Maddox loomed over you and smacked you with his club, sending you sprawling as you refused to run his training drill. You’d since recovered and been cleared for work once more, but that was just what the doctors said. You had a different opinion entirely. 

“I’m not doing this,” you said quietly, hefting yourself back up to a standing position. 

“What?” Maddox’s voice came through in a chilling growl.

The sounds of the rest of the hybrid’s running the training exercise he’d set echoed all around you. You watched them scrambling around, flying through the course like clay pigeons, and blinked slowly. They were all just training to be better canon fodder. What was the point? You were all going to meet the same end, whether you died honourably fighting or were shot down into a pink mist from where you stood, no matter how good any of you were it wouldn’t matter. You’d all just die anyway. 

“You heard me,” you growled, puppy voice still too young to actually have much of an impact. 

Maddox wasn’t used to being defied. From day one you’d all tried to do what you could to appease him, had run around trying to make sure you weren’t drawing his ire. None of you liked his horrible booming voice when he scrambled at you, you were all afraid of his club and being at the receiving end of one of his thrashings. What was the point? 

He looked incensed, he was the most angry you’d ever seen him. He smacked you a few more times, landing heavy blows onto your back, thighs and butt, but you weren’t anymore motivated to get going. Instead you lay uselessly on the ground and cried out, ears drawing back as you prepared for his worst. 

“Get the fuck up! Do as you’re told, dog, no exceptions. Now move!”

You whined, but stayed where you were. Even while your back was on fire, even while he still beat dents into you, you didn’t feel anymore convinced to go along with any of it anymore. You just wanted to give up. To stop having to live through the pain, and just accept that it would be all there was. 

In the back of your mind you registered that everyone had stopped running, could feel the ground stop rumbling with their desperate footsteps and had all stopped to watch the spectacle. Though you didn’t really think much about it. 

It took a few more blows, but eventually Maddox seemed to recognise that you were quite happy for him to mash you into a fine pulp. His lesson wasn’t having any effect. So he left you on the ground and walked away a few paces, his shadow falling over your face and draping you with the weight of it. 

You choked out a sob and watched as he addressed the room. His words weren’t immediately intelligible to you, you were too lost in your brain fog still. Everything was dull, and noises were like far away recordings playing on scratchy speakers. Your head was a swelling water balloon fit to burst. 

“-see what happens when you decide you’re not going to do what your commanding officer tells you.”

Thwack.

You heard the sound, but you didn’t feel anything. You tilted your head, ears twitching confusedly as you tried to work out why the pain didn’t reach you. The sound of the wailing banshee scream following soon after clued you into why your bones weren’t rattling with anymore pain. 

“Please, sir! Please!”

It was like a plastic sheet had been melted from your eyes. The white hot screech of the voice burned through you and you scrambled up with a shock, watching on with horror as one of your fellow hybrids was getting whacked like nothing else. A wheezing breath gushed in through your lungs and you screamed in unison with the poor boy, begging Maddox to please stop. 

“Oh now you’re willing to plead for forgiveness? Now you’re ready to participate again? Watch and let this be a lesson - You don’t decide when you’re done! You do as you’re fucking told!”

“No! Please, no! I’m sorry, I’m sorry, Sir. Please, please ple-”

-🐺-

“Hey, Pup, hey, shhh. Wake up, Pup.”

You felt raw, throat vibrating with the last of your unconscious screams, your mind raced as you struggled to register your surroundings. Soft lamplight bathed the room in a warm, hazy glow, and all around you were rumpled blankets, all thrown around the place in splatters of blue as if a tower of paint cans had exploded. Most startling of all though, was the behemoth of a man right in front of you; sitting on your bed and looking down at you with a worried expression. 

You backed away to the wall when you finally noticed him, panting and growling like hell when you searched through your bleary mind and couldn’t recognise him. His eyes were like molten gems, his long face and pouting lips drawn into a picture of concern. There was something almost familiar about him, if you squinted and ignored the shock of blonde hair that gently curled on top of his head (something told you that you weren’t used to seeing that). The only thing that stopped you from jumping him immediately was the calming scent of citrus peels. 

“Who the fuck are you?” you growled, curling your hands into fists. “What do you want with me?”

The man blinked slowly, his eyebrows raising from the gentle frown he’d been wearing and twitching up into surprise. He smiled uneasily then, the look seeming foreign on that big scarred up face, one of the scars at his lips puckered with the effort it took to move over the muscle. 

“Shit, sorry. It’s me, it’s Ghost,” the man sighed, his accent washing over you like a warm wave. “Forgot my mask.”

You gasped, feeling all your muscles release their tension at once as you slid down the wall and into a weary slump. It was ok. He wasn’t some horrible soldier come to drag you away to a new mission, or an enemy looking to startle you before they bagged a kill. It was just Ghost, and Ghost was safe. And Ghost looked… well you were too tired to really get a solid grip on what you thought of how Ghost looked.  

“What are you doing in here?” you asked, only speaking when you were confident you wouldn’t stutter. 

“You were screamin’, Pup. You looked like you were fighting off possession or somethin’, that must’ve been some bad dream you were having,” Ghost said softly, gently running a hand over the top of your dewy head. 

You gritted your teeth and used the butt of your palms to wipe the stray tears from your cheeks, still feeling your throat burn from all the shrieking. It had been a long time since you’d had one of those dreams, or rather memories, but you knew well enough you’d have been loud. You realised you’d probably woken him if he was coming to you bare faced. 

“I’m sorry,” you said quickly, tail tucking between your legs in realisation.

“Don’t worry about it,” he murmured, bringing his hand down to stroke over your cheek. “I’ve woken up with plenty of those myself.”

“But you…you’ve shown your face to me when you didn’t mean to. I’m sorry,” you sighed, looking away guiltily. 

Your toes curled and your body froze up, your instincts gone haywire as you tried to process what was happening. Was he going to punish you now? Would he beat you until you forgot what he looked like? You shuddered at the thought of your dreams piercing through into reality. 

“No, don’t be sorry, darlin’. I’d have taken it off for you sooner or later anyway,” he shrugged. 

You bit your lip, unconvinced that this was the case. Given that his team didn’t think much of the mask, it was clear that he wore it often. He probably didn’t like to be bare faced around other people. Maybe he wanted to keep his face a secret. 

“Didn’t think it’d effect you this much,” he chuckled, chucking you under your chin. “I did warn you.”

“You warned me?”

“Mhmm. Told you I was bloody handsome.”

Nothing could help the snort that burst from your nose. That then descended into full blown laughter, your body lightening from the growing load that your mind posed. You wrapped your hands round your knees, in an attempt to contain the giggles, and only stopped when you saw the gentle smile that sprouted back onto Ghost’s lips. 

“There you go. Better now, huh?”

You nodded slowly and smiled back at him. For some reason mirroring him felt like the easiest thing in the world. It was like a warm glow had burst from him to you, softening your sharp thoughts and turning your body to jelly. You’d be able to sleep again as if nothing had woken you, usually you would stay up until light broke through your curtains. 

“You wanna talk about anything before I get back to my beauty rest?”

“No, I’m good,” you said hurriedly, not wanting to relive everything you’d dreamed again. 

“Alright then…You get back to sleep, you’ve got another big day ahead. Try not to scare the piss out of me again for another few hours at least,” He sighed. 

You nodded, scooting back over so that you could lie back at the head of your bed. However before you could angle yourself down, Ghost drew you into a side hug. At first you resisted it, curled your hands around his arm so that you could stop whatever harm might come your way, but when there was none. Your eyes grew heavier as he held you, his body heat seeped down into your bones and it tempted you ever deeper into the restful darkness.

You let your hands drop and nuzzled into him. There wasn’t anything to fear. 

“S’my good, Pup,” Ghost mumbled, releasing you seconds later. 

You sank into bed afterwards, falling into a deep sleep as if a switch had been flicked. There were no more disturbances after that. 

-🐺-

“Not so hard, Steamin’ Jesus!”

Soap’s whizzed right past your ears like a bullet, you were too focused on getting to the target point. Paintballs splattered overhead, loud noises rang out from the speakers that’d been set up, and your heart was racing. Everything perfectly combined to drive you wild and send all coherent thought elsewhere. The only reason you stayed put behind your current cover was because you knew Ghost was watching - because of some foreign underlying need to make him proud. 

“Johnny, you have to take control.”

“I’m fuckin’ tryin’! Your bloody sled dog has other ideas,” Soap huffed, growling down the line. 

Ghost’s chuckle rattled around the comms like a swarm of bats. The ever present hand on the front of your neck dug into your collarbone a little, but still you persisted and pushed forward through the resistance. Soap had no idea what he was doing, had no idea how to control your advancement through the fake field. 

“Sled dog tendencies aside, you’re not holding em’ right,” Ghost chastised. “Stop the exercise!”

The splat of the last paintball echoed dully around the room and all at once your more human senses returned. The sharp fuzz in your ears dissipated and the blurring at the edge of your peripheries came staggeringly back into focus. You almost sent Soap crashing when you stopped fighting his hold, though luckily for him he swivelled just in time to keep his feet on solid ground. 

“Fuckin’ here we go,” Soap muttered, releasing your collar. 

You frowned up at him in question, but you didn’t get an opportunity to wonder what he was so pissed about. Ghost jumped into the little arena he’d created and crossed the floor, patting your vest before he took a hold of you himself.

“You’re holdin’ Pup round the front like this,” Ghost said, sliding his hand around your collar to illustrate his point. “You’re just choking them and driving them forward to get away from ya’ or get to the checkpoint.”

“Because your precious little Angel keep’s growlin’ and turnin round when I hold the collar round the back like you do. I feel like I’m about to get my face rearranged again!”

Ghost sighed and put his hand on Soap’s arm, driving the other man to give a cursory glance down at you before fixing a hard look on the Lieutenant. There was no mistaking the sharp little shake of his head he gave, no matter how much he had tried to hide it. Ghost put his hand down, holding it up in mock surrender before it fell completely. 

“It’s because you’re holding on too tight, Johnny,” Ghost explained, his voice growing softer. “You don’t have to. Pup won’t hurt you.” 

“You sure about that?”

“Johnny,” Ghost growled. “Don’t say anything stupid, now.”

You looked up, alarmed at the tone Ghost was taking. You didn’t really blame Soap, or anyone else, for being afraid of you. A lot of people were - anyone who knew your reputation at least, and from that little comment you surmised that Soap was well aware of it. Though from the way Ghost was acting, it was as if Soap had told him he was going to shoot you. His eyes were stuck in a stormy glare and his full height was rigidly stretching up over the Sergeant. 

“You know this is difficult for me,” Soap said, jaw as taught as a piano wire. 

“I know…” Ghost sighed. “But it’ll only be harder if you keep going like this, learning to control a wolf the wrong way will only get you both hurt. You’ve gotta dig deep here, push past the bad memories. This one’ll never hurt you like that.”

“So you keep saying,” Soap grumbled. “Why don’t you try tellin’ them to fuckin’ behave when they’re being handled rather’n having a go at me.”

A creeping feeling of shame crept through your mind, suddenly you felt like a very small child in the middle of a fight between your parents. The tiny little voice you hadn’t heard in so long chimed just as true as it did then, They’re fighting about me again. Your ears folded back straight against your head and you leaned closer into Ghost, accidentally catching eyes with Soap as he registered your movement. 

Soap’s eyes softened. 

“It’s not that simple. I have a plan in the works though,” Ghost said carefully, shifting his gaze to you as he felt you press against him, and then back at Soap. “It’s gonna take a bit to undo years of shit training, yeah? I told you how it’d be before, those shitheads at Branhaven always train up hybrids to look as showy as possible for their superiors. That means they pull like crazy and bark and growl up a riot while they work because it looks effective and scary to the knobheads who don’t need to handle them. I need you all to learn how to handle Pup as they are now before I’ve worked with them, and then you’ll be prepared for anything…’sides, its always you n me together, Johnny, remember? Realistically you’re not gonna have to actually handle them on the field, you just need to be prepared to.”

The ‘Just in case’ that eluded his last sentence was silent.

The whole time you couldn’t help dwelling on the fact that Ghost was unusually…tender for a man in charge over the Sergeant. Normally when people bitched at the higher ups in your base they’d be shouted at and told to man up or fuck off. Ghost was actually explaining himself to Soap, trying to rationalise what he was doing as if he somehow owed it to him. He treated Soap like he treated you, ensuring he was able to calm down and trying to fill him in so he could take comfort in knowing what was happening. 

The treatment seemed to work just as well on Soap as it did you. He huffed out a defeated breath and relaxed, looking from you to Ghost while the irate cloud above him dispersed and became lost in the gentle atmosphere. 

“Fine. Can you show me what to do again?”

“Atta boy,” Ghost said, grin evident in his voice. “Hand here, and legs nice and stable. You need to keep moving forward at a nice even pace, you have to set the right speed. Soon as Pup tries to push on ahead, you grip the back of their neck like that.”

You growled as you felt Ghost put pressure on your scruff, instinctively feeling the work drive build up within you. He just shook his head and gave you an unamused stare for your efforts. 

“The growling’s all just noise. Stupid noise,” Ghost said, intentionally setting his eyes on you, “but there’s no intention of threat behind it - not while we’re in charge.”

“What do you mean ‘not while we’re in charge’?” Soap asked, making a face. 

“Pup won’t have any reason to hurt us. We’re not gonna go yanking tails and hitting like fuckin’ children when we don’t get our way.”

“Wh- y’mean that was a commanding officer that did that?” Soap asked, motioning to your crooked tail. 

“Like I said - shit training. C’mon, take the collar.”

Soap didn’t quite look like he’d recovered from the shock of being told about your tail. He gingerly reached out and took your collar with a frown set heavily into his face. You wondered if it was because he really pitied you that much, or if it was because he thought you might take out your anger on him. You leaned more toward the latter reasoning. Despite his reservations though, he was able to do as Ghost asked this time. 

“Good, that’s it, Johnny.” 

Soap visibly puffed up from the praise. His grip on you tightened. He was more sure of himself now, he marched ahead and set you into an even pace, the rhythm catching onto your feet contagiously. Naturally there were still a few moments where you wanted to pull forward and rush through, but now that Soap was placing his trust in Ghost’s intuition, you were gently guided into keeping within his step. 

“Good Pup, keep it up!”

Soap didn’t immediately latch onto what Ghost had told him about your growling, he still wrenched himself back a few times after correcting you. The horrible tractor-like sound would comically twist his features. However this time, he was actually able to get to the checkpoint with you. Then after a few more trials, you were both flying down the course, high on Ghost’s praises and untouched by any paintball that tried to come your way. 

After the fourth time he called for a break, roughly crossing his hands into a T shape while he doubled over and panted and puffed for air. His signature sage scent wafted strongly from him now, invading your senses and forcing you back a step or two.

A discreet smile stole its way onto your face, a smug one if you were honest. There was a steady tension starting to warm in your legs, but you were no where near over extension. Apparently all the breakfast and rest you’d gotten had done you wonders, because you felt like you could keep going all day and all night, maybe longer than that. It made you wonder if maybe Price and Ghost didn’t have a point to all the nice things they were doing for you afterall. 

“You did well, Soap,” Ghost chuckled, wandering back onto the course with a swagger to his step. “You too, Pup. Reckon you’ll be nice and warmed up for Price and Garrick now.”

“Christ, Pup’s gonna do this two more times?” Soap asked, looking over at you in wonder. 

“Mhmm,” Ghost hummed.

“You not tired?” Soap asked, directing his question toward you.. 

You laughed at that, unsure as to why he’d be so shocked you were going to keep going. Normally you’d spend your whole days training when you weren’t on an active mission. Running and sparring were practically all you knew. If you were to tire out early, you’d be punished for it, blamed for not getting enough sleep or not eating your shitty MREs. Stopping wasn’t in the equation. 

“I can go all day,” you shrugged.

“Christ, and they tell me I’m hyperactive.”

-🐺-

Overall impressed with your performance that day, Ghost had insisted on dragging you out to a shopping villiage, or as you now thought of it - a torture desensitisation arena. Even later on at night, there were so many people around: screaming children that were moaning about being tired and hungry, teenagers laughing like hyenas, couples arguing over what they should and shouldn’t spend their money on. It didn’t help that there were so many busy shop fronts as well, colours and flashing lights and products you wouldn’t even know what to do with. It was a circus of too many stimuli and you were stuck at it’s roaring centre, sticking to Ghost like a fly on tape. 

As soon as he’d parked up you’d demanded to know why he’d brought you there, not able to help the rising panic at being taken somewhere new. He’d explained that it was time to buy you some much needed casual clothes. Personal items. At the mention of that dreaded subject, you’d tried to protest and remind him about getting your brand new stack of clothes from the quartermaster, but Ghost had just snorted and said that he wasn’t taking you everywhere in your uniform. He didn’t care for the looks it would get him - said the man wearing a black medical skull mask over his face.

Undeterred by your saying that he didn't need to waste money on you, Ghost all but yanked you into all clothes shops, leading you by the hand and forcing you to pick casual clothes that you liked from the small selection the hybrid sections offered. It was an exercise made to humiliate, you’d thought, you had no idea how to pick clothes for yourself that weren’t standard issue - had no idea what colours and materials and fits went together with what. He’d made you pick what felt good in the end, said that Soap had told him the important thing was picking something comfortable - it didn’t narrow your search by very much.

Propelled by the thought of getting to leave if you just compiled, you eventually settled on some blue vans trainers, a cosy pullover hoodie, two new pyjama sets, a couple of pairs of jeans and a few T-shirts that weren’t too adventurous - save for the one that had some illustrated plants on it. Even that little amount felt like far too much, overwhelming you with how much choice you’d have when your promised downtime would come. Though every time you asked if you’d picked enough, Ghost would just fix you with a stony look that told you to keep going. 

Then as if that wasn’t enough, he took you over to a bookshop as well, claiming you needed something to entertain yourself with in your downtime. Even when you told him you’d managed alright up till that point. However, when you were left to explore so that Ghost could go pick something for himself, it wasn’t the books there that you were most taken by. 

“What’ve you got there then?”

You froze, shoulders bunching as you heard Ghost’s voice softly break your awed silence and looked guiltily down at the little puppy teddy you were holding. You weren’t supposed to be looking at that- that’s what you figured when you saw his shadow cross your path. A picture of his sneering face crossed your mind’s eye, darkened by that unruly blonde fringe of his. 

What were you supposed to say to him? After blankly looking at a few of the books, you couldn’t help but let your eyes wander over to the little displays of plushies, and had slowly gravitated toward it when you saw the little dog that was now in your hands. 

The dog’s fur was so unbelievably soft and its little spotted face reminded you of one of your favourite cartoons from when you were small. It called out to you and lured you in with the reminder of some old theme song that played in your head, made you pick it up and stroke its squishy black and white tummy with a smile plastered all over your face. 

“I got distracted, sorry,” you murmured, gently placing it amongst its spotted siblings. 

Ghost came round to your side and picked up the same puppy you’d been holding. You tilted your head in surprise and watched as he did the same as you, stroking the soft tummy while inspecting it. It looked comically smaller in his hands though, like a newborn pup. 

“You want him?”

Your ears perked in surprise when he spoke. Finally you chanced a look up at him and felt your cheeks warm when you made eye contact, thoroughly embarrassed that you’d been caught. Though he didn’t look judgemental like you’d thought he would, instead he just stared at you earnestly over his black medical mask and gave you a chance to speak. 

“I…um...” you weren’t sure what to say. 

Of course you wanted him. Every little instinct in you wanted to take the toy and hold it and cuddle it and never let go. However that wasn’t the kind of behaviour befitting of a military class hybrid like you, and it was the kind of thing you’d have been endlessly mocked, if not punished for before. 

Soldiers don’t cuddle their teddy bears and blankets, they make their beds quickly and efficiently and don’t concern themselves with such stupid frivolities!

“It’s not a trick question, Pup. No wrong answer,” Ghost supplied, holding the puppy out to you encouragingly. 

You breathed out a sigh, but your chest didn’t feel any less heavy. Even if it was such a silly decision to make, it still felt like such a big undertaking. If you said yes and took it, would Ghost think less of you? You already thought less of you for wanting it. You were already filled with judgement, the voices of all the superiors that had ever disciplined you mocking you in one big evil choir. 

Stupid little baby wolf. 

You whined, but even despite yourself, you took it and held it to your chest. 

“Hey, you deserve to have things of your own, that’s what tonight’s all about,” Ghost said, gently setting his hand on your shoulder as he did so. “You deserve to exist outside of the military, to be more than a war dog. If this makes you happy, then we should get ‘im.”

You wanted to keel over then as you rolled your eyes, let your whole body collapse with the motion. This dog at least was a simple decision in terms of what you liked, much easier than when you’d been standing in front of all those dreaded clothes racks, but it didn’t make finalising it any easier. Not when your feelings were colliding like waves against a harbour wall, one side seemingly solid while the other corroded it.

“Yeah, but…”

“But what?”

“I’m not supposed to want things like this,” you mumbled, holding the teddy out in front of yourself again like it was some kind of alien object. 

“Why not?” he chuckled.

“Because it’s for children,” you said dryly.

“It’s not for children,” he scoffed. “There’s no rules on who gets to buy cuddly toys. Anyway, you clearly want the little fella, so we’re getting him.”

You frowned, looking confusedly down at the dog again. 

“But It’s a distraction…All of this stuff is,” you uttered, feeling Maddox’s voice speak through you like a spell had been cast. “It’ll take my mind off important things and get everyone hurt.”

You thought back to the kid in the bunk next to you, the one that had cried on the first day because they couldn’t have their teddy bear to sleep with. Maddox had lectured you all then and there, almost shouting the fur off your ears, saying that hybrid soldiers couldn’t let anything get in the way of them functioning. Needing a teddy bear to sleep wouldn’t fly when you were overseas and catching bullets because you were sleep deprived, reading books to escape your miserable new lives would get you killed when your heads were still stuck in them, etcetera, etcetera, etcetera. 

“You don’t think we all need distractions sometimes?” Ghost asked. “Distractions make life worth living, and you’re no less deserving of that than anyone on the team. Don’t you think?”

You didn’t have an answer for that. In fact, you were arguing a point that wasn’t even yours. So, in response, you shrugged and traced one of the puppy’s patches.

“I think you care about me like…a weird amount,” you mumbled. 

“A weird amount?” Ghost scoffed, hiding a crinkly eyed smile behind his mask. “Why’s it weird to care about you, huh?” 

You shrugged again. 

“Ok, listen. You’ve been all twisted up by those idiots at your last base and I want you to know that I’m not gonna legitimise a single thing that they’ve taught you. This is what it’s going to be like now, this is what you get for coming in everyday and working your arse off. The fact that you’ve been given no compensation and been run so badly into the ground by those cretins is nothing short of appalling. Believe me when I tell you that I know it’s not as simple as flicking a switch and getting used to good treatment - it won’t happen just because I tell you it’s all over now and I understand that. Just…let me give you a little bit of comfort, yeah? Just to show you how things should be. Just enjoy a distraction or two and see that it won’t be life ending, and it’s not gonna get taken away from you. I promise you’ll be fine” 

Your throat was too thick with emotion to answer. So instead of making a fool out of yourself you nodded your assent and looked down at your new prize with wonder. How long had it been since you’d owned something that didn’t have any function or use on the battlefield? How long since you’d held something so soft?

“Now…did you actually look at any books or did you just stand and bully yourself for wanting something nice?”

You jumped when Ghost’s grizzled voice sounded out and brought your mind back to task, shaking your head of all your musings. Choosing books - right. All at once, the multicoloured aisles came back to view and all the people in them, the room filled out around you and made you hold your puppy down low at your side and out of view.

“Yeah, I um- I think I found something cool.”

-🐺-

That night Ghost let you stay up in bed for a little bit to read. Leaving you nestled in your swarm of blankets sitting side by side with your new friend as the plush sat up against the pillows with you. Your eyes poured over the artwork of your new graphic novels in wonder, admiring the bold colours and thick lines, turning the glossy pages ever so slowly as if your heart would stop beating when you got to the end of the book. 

When you ended the first chapter you smiled down at the little dog rather childishly and bit your lip. It was silly to name inanimate objects, it didn’t take someone standing over you and shouting at you to know that, though you couldn’t help it when the name seemed to cling to him with an unshakable grip. Simon. You’d name him Simon after the main character in the story. It seemed to suit the little black and white dog just as much as it did the hybrid boy, and now there was no changing it - unfortunately for you. 

#simon ghost riley #Simon Riley #Ghost #mw2 #ghost x reader #Hybrid!reader #reign down on me

[xticklemeemox]

The Love You Want: III, Part Seven

hehe <3

word count: 10,413

Ao3 version

Masterlist

Previous Part (six)

Fic under cut <3

The next morning, Vessel is fidgety, following behind II like a comically taller shadow, hand clutching his tightly like a lifeline as II feeds Elvira then goes to make breakfast. He barely meets III's eyes, and when he does, he looks away with a tiny flinch, never straying far from II's side. Elvira comes to linger at Vessel's side while he sits criss-cross on the floor near where her bowls are just outside the kitchen, and Vessel enjoys the feeling of her soft fur between his fingers as she purrs, tail wrapping around his wrist briefly before going back to flicking side to side happily.

Breakfast is a quiet affair as II and III eat and Vessel picks at the skin by his nails until they start bleeding. II forces him to stop, but Vessel only moves on to plucking at the bandages around his arms, beginning to slowly unravel them as he messes with the material. At the first sight of a scabbed over cut, III has had enough.

III frowns heavily, scooting their chair closer to Vessel and offering up a hand in invitation. Finally, Vessel pauses his ministrations, watching III intently, one pair of eyes on III, another on their unbandaged hand, and the last pair eyeing II nervously for guidance. There's guilt in all three pairs, fear and apprehension and III is desperate to know why.

It hurts to see Vessel like this. He's clearly pulling away to protect his heart from whatever damage he seems so sure is coming.

It scares III. Did they do something wrong? Is it something to do with what Vessel is going to tell him? What could it be that has Vessel so frightened of III's reaction?

Slowly, Vessel takes III's hand, and it is III who clasps their fingers together, making it so that Vessel cannot pick at either hand nor his scabs and bandages. Vessel traces over each end of III's fingernails with his available hand, moving to circling each joint in every finger and along every knuckle, before following a prominent vein up towards III's wrist.

III lets Vessel do as he pleases, genuinely unbothered as they continue to eat. II keeps glancing at Vessel in concern, Vessel's negative feelings never abating even as a bit of distraction clouds them.

All three of them remain seated at the table when they're finished, dishes set off to the unused end. It is silent, for a time, as Vessel only continues to play with III's fingers, not meeting anyone's eyes.

II finally breaks the silence softly, "Vessel, its okay. You need to tell them."

III looks away from II to watch Vessel again, watches as Vessel's shoulders hike up by his ears as he curls into himself to appear smaller. A bead of sweat slides down his temple, pupils shrunken.

Its harder to tell III than it was to tell II. Already, Vessel's throat is closing up again and he had been strangely proud of himself for trying so hard to get his voice back just for this conversation.

"I killed those who killed you." Vessel blurts, eyes wide with apprehension.

Vessel takes his hand away as the words leave his mouth. At the expression striking over III's pretty features as he processes what Vessel has said.

"You killed people?!" III exclaims, more in shock than anything, clenching his fists so tightly their nails dig into their palms painfully.

Vessel nods, not trusting himself to speak as he keeps one pair of eyes carefully attuned to every movement III's hands make. Secretly, he is terrified of what III's reaction might escalate to. The house shudders, vines beginning to crawl over themselves and along the floor, distressed.

III stands, and Vessel instinctively leans away, head bowed submissively. III turns to begin pacing by the table, and II watches as vacancy begins to settle into the red of Vessel's irises. He tries to share a warning look with III, but the other is too upset to notice.

"Shit, Vessel! Why would-" III starts, and he can feel his fingers start to itch, spreading slowly down his hands.

"Sleep... He told me you were in pain. That there was a way to rid you of it. If... If I killed them, you wouldn't experience anymore pain. They could never physically harm you ever again." Vessel's voice is quiet, so quiet, and his face is falling into a strange blankness that II knows he normally can't manage.

His concern only grows, but he isn't sure what to say to de-escalate the situation.

"You risked yourself for me! I would have lived with that pain in my body for the rest of eternity if it meant you didn't risk yourself!" III shouts, angry at the thought of what could've happened to Vessel and they wouldn't have known, wouldn't have been able to help until it was too late.

III was too fucking familiar with that sort of helplessness, that sort of hopelessness. He could picture it now, Vessel laying on some dingy alley floor as blow upon blow rains down on him, all alone because he didn't fucking tell them-

"What?" Vessel says, voice small and almost a squeak, numbness spreading through his body.

He's shaking, he knows. Can't stop the tremble in his frame. III's yelling reminds him of everyone Vessel has ever known, and it scares him. III's more outgoing personality is nothing compared to this.

"They fucking killed me and you go and take all three of them on by yourself! You didn't tell us where you went! You leave the car, you leave your phone. Your bond was so close to being completely inactive and radiating that fucking tranquility you put up when you're anything but calm it was like you'd turned the bond off anyway!" There are angry tears leaking down III's cheeks, only worsening when he sees how Vessel has shrunken in on himself, II trying desperately to take Vessel's hand from where it has an iron tight grip on one forearm, nails digging in so harshly more blood is welling up under the thin bandages.

"They could have fucking hurt you! Could've killed you too!" III shouts in frustration, running a hand through their hair.

"Three, honey-"

"It's alright, Two. Let him speak." Vessel says, gaze downcast and distant and II goes reluctantly silent.

Vessel tries to reassure III, "I have my powers from Sleep. I gave them no chance to harm me and I gave them exactly what they deserved."

III takes a deep breath to try and calm down enough to lower their volume, watching as their hands begin to lengthen, becoming spindly, the bones cracking then aching as they lengthen.

"Shit, shit, shit..." They mutter, trying to will them away even as his fingers morph into only three on each hand.

The soft little sound of III's socks, one tie dye rainbow and the other a neon green, is the only sound for a few minutes as III worries their lip between his teeth.

"If... If you'd have asked us, Vessel, I would have come with you." III states, stopping to turn and stare resolutely at Vessel who has frozen in his seat.

"You- Why?" Vessel asks, weak and shaky.

Vessel would never have asked it of them. He would never have risked them getting hurt. He was fully capable of that task alone, he... he didn't need to ask for help with it.

"So you did not go through something like that alone. So with my presence at your side, you could be reassured that I supported you in your decision, that I would not come to loathe you for it." III is quick to answer, and Vessel is struck by the realization that III knows Vessel better than he ever wanted.

"I would have went with you, too." II says, and Vessel is somehow just as surprised by this response. "I did say I was upset you wouldn't let me get a hit in. If faced with them, with the intention to kill, I may have hesitated. Maybe. But even now, with that bruising on your face, Three, I want to wring their fucking necks. The sight of your pretty face and how you cried would have flashed through my mind, as it is now, and I wouldn't have hesitated any longer."

III looks overwhelmed by this new knowledge. To know that not only did Vessel literally kill for them, but that II likely would have too, if given the chance. III wanted to be accepted, and Sleep has given him far more than that. He has given them people who cared enough about him to kill for him.

People often say they would kill for the ones they love. III had never put much stock in the saying. It seemed like pretty platitudes said more for charm than anything else. It lacked conviction, and III knows most meant the saying as an empty promise.

How fucked up does it make III in the head to be genuinely flattered by the thought that the two people he loves most in the world have, and would, literally kill for him?

Unable to find the proper words, III floods the bond with his love and his overwhelming appreciation. II sends down his own love, and it leaves a warm feeling bubbling in their chest. Vessel's bond, still so calm, is also radiating confusion. III wonders if Vessel recognizes what they sent down the bond, but realizes he probably doesn't.

III is going to tell Vessel he loves him today, no matter what. III can't handle waiting, can't handle another night passing by where Vessel hasn't at least heard from their mouths how completely and utterly they adore him.

"Won't people look for them?" III asks, continuing to pace back and forth, back and forth, wringing his hands together.

"Sleep said they'd erase them from memory and records." Vessel replies in a voice vacant of all emotion, keeping two sets of eyes on his lap, the last still trying to discreetly watch III's hands.

The calm projected over the bond is clearly forced, and both II and III hate how easy it is to tell right now that Vessel's tranquil bond is merely a facade.

"I still remember them." III starts, but then they pause in their pacing.

"The one that attacked me. I don't remember his face. Why do I suddenly not remember?" III's bond is a confusing mess of fury and frustration and heartache and so many things in between.

"His memory, you knowing of him, assaulting you again... it was beginning to unravel the magic Sleep cast over your memories of Before. It was causing you pain that would only worsen with time. I had to get rid of him, so your pain would cease and this would never happen again." Vessel explains wearily.

"Will the same thing happen to you both?" III asks, focusing on trying to get their hands back to normal as they sit down at the table once more, hiding the appendages under the table from II's view, to lessen the fear beginning to slink down his bond. "If we run into the people who killed you?"

Vessel's muscles tense up even as he nods, and he's glad for the calm he's been projecting over the bond. It hides the fear that stiffens his body, the flood of memories causing terror and the phantom pains and words he swears he can still hear from people Before.

Vessel would prefer to never see anyone from his past ever again.

"I don't think it will be a problem for me. I think the only reason you had such a problem, Three, is because you were so intimately familiar with the town we live near. With the people who killed you. You had the misfortune of already being near them." II says, a little unsure of his own words but feeling he may be right.

"We're no," Vessel's voice cracks on the emotions raging through him and he clears his throat, knowing his voice is leaving him again, its only a matter of time, "We're no longer near that town. Sleep moved this realm somewhere else in the country. For Three's sake."

"The realm was moved? Sleep has the power to do that?" II asks, and Vessel nods.

"Yes, apparently so."

"What about the bodies?" III questions, II listening attentively, not knowing the answer either.

"Sleep got rid of them." Vessel responds, lips thinning, pinched shut. "I offered them up as sacrifices. It is how He gained the power to move the realm."

III and II nod, accepting the answer. They do not ask more about it, and Vessel is glad. How was he to tell them their God's dripping maw opened up on his chest, the cavity filled with teeth and tar where his heart used to lay. How their God consumed the bodies, how a stray hand had somehow gone inside of Vessel, into the void his Gods jaw created?

"Do you regret it?" III asks, catching Vessel's gaze when he glances back up at them.

"... I did it to protect and avenge you." Vessel starts, fiddling with his fingers again, picking at the skin around his nails with sharp claws, unable to force his gaze away from III's intensity, "No. I- I do not regret it."

Vessel expects this to be it. For III to decide they want nothing to do with Vessel. Expects III to ask for him to be cast out, or to leave in his stead. Maybe this is when III will show Vessel that they are like everyone else Vessel knew Before. Vessel wonders which will hurt worse, his body afterwards, or his heart shattering with every hit.

He hopes II will let III get out the frustration he needs to. His second partner was always nicer afterwards, she'd even hold him sometimes after he inevitability started crying and just couldn't stop, long after the hits ceased. Vessel could never tell if it was from the pain or his heart crumbling to pieces in his chest.

Distantly, somewhere deep inside, far, far below his fear, Vessel doesn't truly think III would hurt him. It feels wrong to think they will, but... but Vessel can't help it.

As he told Sleep, anyone who has ever loved him has hurt him, and Sleep said the other vessels love him.

Vessel is quick to force distance between them, expecting the worst, knowing that III won't want Vessel anywhere near them soon. The chair makes an awful screeching noise as he shoves it over towards II, who rests a hand on his thigh in support.

"I'm sorry for yelling. I was upset. I- I still am. You could've gotten hurt, and... Taking a life is no small matter and you've done it three times in a day. For me, no less." III starts, taking in a deep, calming breath, staring down at their hands that have yet to go back to normal.

Vessel is confused by the apology. Why would III apologize for yelling? Vessel... he expected it. Prepared himself for it, even, though it did not frighten him any less.

III continues, "They were not good people. I complimented one of them and they killed me for it. I do not want to think of what they must have done in the past, what they could've done in the future to anyone who made the same mistake. They didn't hesitate to beat me to death. They laughed, joked over my dying body."

Vessel grimaces, the laughter and the jokes and the manic little grins they'd all had flashing behind his eyes, echoing in his ears. Glancing up at III at the fear slipping down the bond, Vessel realizes that III is experiencing it too, and by the way they wince, remembering the pain as well.

The guilt inside Vessel only grows. He was so close, and yet he could not help. Could not even hold III to him to comfort and protect, lack of heart in his chest be damned.

"People like that... They don't deserve my sympathy." III settles on, "So, while I'm upset, it's not with you. It's- In general. The entire situation is just... upsetting."

"I regret the loss of life." Vessel murmurs, clearing his throat when he realizes it was too quiet, repeating himself. "But ultimately I do not regret that it was their lives I took. Not for what they did to you. One said that there had been others before you."

"... I wasn't the only one?" III murmurs, upset at the thought, missing the alarmed look II sends Vessel, who nods slowly in sorrow.

III thinks of what was done to them. The pain, the terror, at the hands of those who murdered him. To find out that they were not the only ones who had suffered at those cruel hands... The motherfuckers deserved the end they got. They reaped what they'd sown.

Vessel doesn't know what to think when III stands, walking towards where Vessel had moved away. They lean down, one hand resting on the back of the chair just by Vessel's shoulder, placing a gentle kiss on his forehead. The aborted motion of pulling away from an expected hit pulls Vessel away from III, who notices his wide eyes.

"Sorry, should have warned you." III apologizes when they see Vessel's reaction.

There's a tremble to Vessel's frame that wasn't noticeable a moment ago, and III does not miss the way one pair of Vessel's eyes is constantly tracking their hands. It fills III with such profound sadness to think of what Vessel must have been through, a small sting of hurt at Vessel thinking they would hurt him. Anger that there was a reason Vessel was afraid of something like that at all.

II and III share a concerned glance, moving back to Vessel who has remained still despite the tremble to his form. His arms have come to wrap around himself in an attempt at a hug, body tense in preparation for a blow. II and III have had talks when Vessel isn't around, quiet whispers as they go over more and more signs of some sort of abuse. It's slow going, Vessel avoiding any subtle questions and hiding as many of his reactions as possible. Its tragic, when all they want is to be able to help him.

"Not your fault." Vessel mutters, one hand coming up to lightly touch where III's lips had been.

"Vessel, I need you to hear me say this. I need you to really listen." III begs, and Vessel barely manages to pull his gaze up from the ground, barely manages to let his hand fall to hold the other in front of him.

"I'm not going to hit you." III states firmly, hands deliberately loosely open at his sides, as they finally go back to normal.

Vessel startles, eyes going somehow wider in his shock, and his mouth opens as if to say something, anything to steer the conversation from wherever its heading.

"I don't give a fuck how angry I get, I will never hit you. I will never harm a single hair on your head."

"But... What if I do something wrong? Make a mistake? Upset you?" III's heart crumbles to pieces at the genuine confusion, at the way Vessel doesn't understand.

"Vessel, we're not going to agree on everything all the time. Its just not natural, nor healthy. Its good to disagree. And mistakes are common, everyone makes them. If you upset me, then we'll talk it out, figure out what we can do to make either one of us no longer upset. You do not deserve to be hit for any of that."

Vessel knows III doesn't get it. Neither one of them seem to understand that Vessel deserved to be hurt. He always spoke out of turn, could never be quiet when told. Was always too clingy, never enough. He couldn't do anything right. He deserves every bit of pain he received. Vessel couldn't fathom a world where that wasn't the truth.

"Okay." Vessel agrees unsurely, accepting even when he knows in his heart that III is wrong, one hand falling to hold II's tightly.

II and III know he doesn't understand, can see it on his face even as it leaks down the bond Vessel has left open. It no longer projects such disturbing calm, and it strikes III that he isn't really sure how Vessel does it.

"How do you project such calm over the bond, anyway? I don't understand it." III asks, curious even as he watches Vessel with sad eyes.

"Oh, I- Well, it's not the actual emotion. I just, its kind of like projecting an image. I send over a calm sea and it comes across as calm on your end. It's similar to how we can sort of push certain images or thoughts to get something close to a conversation."

"I see... Can you not," III lets out a small sigh, "Can you not do it anymore?"

"Not...? You don't want me to...?"

"No, sweetheart, we want to know how you're feeling, even if it's negative." II interjects, squeezing Vessel's hand gently as III pulls his chair closer to Vessel and II's.

"We want to know when you're upset so we can help. You wouldn't want one of us hiding from you if we were upset, would you?" III says, and Vessel shakes his head slowly.

"Well, no, but its different with you two." Vessel insists, begging them with his eyes to understand.

Vessel isn't worth it. Why don't they see that?

"Why is it different with us Vessel? What makes our feelings matter more than yours?" II asks, desperately, placing his other hand over Vessel's to sandwich the appendage between his.

Vessel needs to leave. He needs to escape, anything to get away from this conversation. He hates how much he's said already, hates how sad he has made the other two just by existing near them. Vessel hates that he can't seem to make them happy.

Vessel shakes his head, still trembling, pushing the chair back and going to stand. III puts their still morphed hand on Vessel's other thigh, and he stills, watching II and III warily. All six eyes are wide with panic, and he feels trapped. The plates start to float gently above the table, as II glances down at III's hand and flicks it back up to watch Vessel, resolutely not looking back down.

How is Vessel to explain to them that they mean the world to him? That he would lay the heavens to waste at their feet if only they'd ask? It was such a silly question. Of course their feelings meant more to him than his own. Their happiness was his, and he would not taint it with his own lack of self-worth and depression.

How is he to tell them that he was so desperate to be loved, he accepted an eternity with a God he barely knew who said he would grant him that wish. How is he to tell them that he hated himself so completely and utterly, couldn't imagine living another day, another second in this body and with this mind, that he tried and tried again to kill himself until he finally succeeded and only then was he wanted.

III takes Vessel's hand, stopping him from digging any deeper into his palms. Vessel looks up slowly as tears blur his vision. II's hand still rests gently on his thigh, tracing a pattern into the fabric. As II's warmth seeps through to Vessel's skin, he wonders if II can feel the never-ending tremble of Vessel's frame.

"Vessel, I love you." III states, and Vessel's whole world collapses as all six eyes focus completely on the pretty creature before him.

"I've never been in love, not really. Not when my love for you both feels like this. All consuming and complex and a little like my feet have been swept out from under me." III confesses when Vessel continues to not say anything.

Vessel's throat is tight and a sob steals his breath when II speaks from his other side, "I love you too, Vessel. I know you didn't believe me, when I told you. I need you to believe me now. I want to wake up beside you for as long as you'll let me. I want to kiss you, over and over and over again. I want to love you like you deserve, Vessel. I want to show you that your previous partners were all fools without a single loving bone in their bodies."

"We want to love you. Will you... Will you let us?" III tries not to beg, but the desperation taints his tone anyway.

"You can't. I don't deserve it. I don't deserve your love or your kindness, or how gentle you always are with me."

"Vessel, you deserve gentleness. You deserve love." II says softly, big, pretty blue eyes staring at Vessel with such blatant affection not even he can deny it.

"I ignored you on purpose!" Vessel blurts out, as though trying to convince them he doesn't deserve what they're offering, "I- I lied to you, Two. After you said you- after- when you said you loved me... that was really when I couldn't speak, I couldn't say anything even if I wanted to and it hurt when you were so kind to me even then. Why would you- why be kind to me?"

"Because you deserve to have kindness Vessel." II states softly, kneeling in front of him.

The knowledge that Vessel had ignored him at first, after II first confessed, hurts immensely, but if this is how Vessel is reacting now... How many people told Vessel they loved him with nothing but blackened hearts and filthy souls? How many people told Vessel they loved him, only to turn around and hurt him, body and mind?

"I don't feel like I do." He whispers, brokenly, and III hesitantly takes his available hand.

"We'll just have to keep being kind to you then, to show you that you deserve it. I've met many people whose faces I can't remember who don't deserve anything good, and you're not one of them." III states, firm as they wipe their own tears with the back of their hand.

"I don't know what its like to be loved with kindness. You've... Neither of you have ever hurt me. Why- Why haven't you hurt me? I deserve it! I've lied! I've hidden things from you! Even now, I-" Vessel barely stops himself from blurting out more of his secrets.

"Why would you want to love someone who doesn't love themselves? I don't deserve to be loved, not the way you two say you love me. I'm not worthy of it. I'll never be worthy of it. You can't love me, even if I want you to. You can't, please, I don't- I'm not worth it. I'm not worth it." Vessel sobs, golden tears staining his clothes as they drip relentlessly off his jaw, "I am ugly, I am flawed. I- I'm weak, I hurt myself. I am afraid."

Vessel continues trying to convince them that he is not worth their love, but that is not for him to decide. II finally has enough, crying too, and trying so desperately not to sob like Vessel is. The bonds are a mess of anguish, of Vessel's fright and such bone-deep self-loathing.

"Darling, I'm noticing your flaws and they're exactly what I want, even if you won't believe me. I love you, every part of you. Even the parts you consider ugly." II begs Vessel to believe him, to please, please just this once, believe him.

Vessel thinks back to what Sleep had said to him. Had urged him to do. To try and look beyond his past that chains him down, to see that they love him. Vessel still doesn't believe they do, but... if they're willing to at least pretend... Vessel is too selfish to deny them, deny II again, even if he knows it's only a matter of time before they realize how inadequate and ugly he truly is.

"You know I'll be yours, just want to be worth it." Vessel murmurs, finally, still sobbing quietly as he continues, "I've loved you both ever since I met you. You enraptured me, heart and soul. Paralyzed by my own will, I- I couldn't tell you. I knew neither of you returned my feelings. I knew... I knew you could never love me."

"You thought we would leave you, Sugar?" III asks gently, "Thought we would hurt you. You've just been trying to protect yourself from what you thought was inevitable. How many people have tore you down so thoroughly that you couldn't see how much we adore you?"

"Adore...?" Vessel murmurs, before what III had said before that sets in, "I- Every partner I've ever had. My parents. My peers. Everyone I have ever known. So many people hated me... There must've been reason to."

"There wasn't!" III snarls as II forces back a sob, "Not a single one of them were right in their treatment of you. You deserve the world and I will tell you that every day until you believe me!"

A fresh wave of tears spill over as Vessel's breaths come out in shorter and shorter pants. II smiles at him, and Vessel wishes it was clearer past the blur of his golden tears, because he can tell its a soft, watery thing as II cries, too.

Vessel wants to believe them, but he can't. If what III says is true, then why did Vessel have to suffer? Why him? He had to've done something wrong. Vessel couldn't fathom a reality where his entire existence up until that point, all that pain and suffering, wasn't a deserved punishment for something he had done.

II and III whisper gentle encouragements for Vessel to get his breathing under control, and its difficult. Difficult to think past his racing mind. Difficult to breathe past the gut wrenching sobs he manages to keep quiet even now. Vessel does eventually manage it, wiping his gold stained face of tears and snot, as silence passes between them for a moment. His bond loses the carefully curated calm, slipping away to reveal such aching self-loathing and a small bit of hope that flickers like a weak flame. II and III want to help, want to stifle that self-loathing and strengthen that flame of hope but how? How are they to help Vessel when he... Shit, when he doesn't even want to help himself?

II taps his fingers nervously to an unheard beat, seeming to think over something as the silence stretches on.

"Can I kiss you?" II asks, glancing from Vessel's eyes to his lips and back again. "I've been thinking about it for so long now."

Vessel smiles, and he tilts his head, a little shy, a little confused, even as he wants it, so desperately he feels he might burst at the seams with his need to know what II's lips on his feels like. "You're asking?"

"Of course I'm asking. If you don't want a kiss, then I won't kiss you." II affirms gently, struggling to keep the frown off his face, the sadness from the bond.

"You're asking- and I can say no?" The shyness is still there, but there is so much confusion stemming from Vessel's side of the bond that II wants to snap the neck of whoever did this to Vessel.

"You can always, always, say no. With me, or with II." III states firmly, needing to hold tighter to Vessel's hands in his own to stop the other man from picking at his self-harm scabs.

"My- my old partners didn't really- their rules were different."

"You had rules to follow? Like, in the bedroom?" III asks, desperate for clarification.

He begs Sleep for it really to be some sort of kinky BDSM situation but knows that with Vessel and his past, the chances are slim.

"No?" Vessel's voice has gotten smaller as he hunches into himself, that previous bit of shyness gone now, replaced with apprehension as the confusion remains. "I- I wasn't allowed to say no, with my third partner. She got me away from my second so I always just- did as she asked. Even if I didn't really want to. It was okay though because I loved her. She was nicer than my second and first. My other partners didn't ask either, were they supposed to?"

III immediately starts crying again as he nods furiously, unable to hold back the fat crystalline tears spilling down his cheeks as a large wave of misery floods the bond. Vessel panics, immediately pulling the slightly taller man into a side hug, "I-I'm sorry b- Three, I didn't mean to make you cry."

III shakes his head in refusal of the apology, taking II by the arm and shoving him a little closer.

"Can I have a kiss after Two?"

Vessel tilts his head hesitantly, turning it towards II as he asks, shyly but almost as though he doesn't think he should ask at all, "Does Two still want to kiss me?"

Nodding his head so fast III fears II'll break his neck, II leans forward, nose nearly touching Vessel's. He pauses, just before their lips would touch. He glances down at them, at the red, bitten and bleeding skin, and back up to Vessel's eyes, all six a little wide, a little excited. They're red as rubies, and filled with such anticipation II almost doesn't want to make him wait any longer.

"Are you sure?" II murmurs, and Vessel feels II's lips brush feather light against his own.

"Please." Vessel practically begs despite his better judgment, and II surges forward.

When II's lips meet Vessel's, he is swarmed by overwhelming affection. He cannot stop the grin that splits his face, that makes it difficult to continue kissing II even if that is all Vessel wants to do.

Gently, II's tongue brushes against Vessel's bottom lip, and Vessel eagerly opens it in invitation. II tastes like the tea he had for breakfast, floral and a little sweet, and the maple syrup of the pancakes Vessel watched him cook.

Vessel would never deny himself this, so long as II was willing. After getting this taste, Vessel doesn't think he would ever refuse II a kiss.

Hesitantly, Vessel opens his mouth a little wider, letting II's tongue explore his mouth with fascination. They're both careful of their respective fangs, even though Vessel purposefully nicks his tongue on one of II's little fangs, enjoying the sting.

Vessel has not let himself imagine anything truly romantic with II or III, but now that he has gotten the blessing of kissing one of them, he finds he wants more. So much more. He wants to sink his teeth into II and III and mark them as his. Vessel would love for them to do the same, to sink their own teeth into his skin and mark him as theirs. He hasn't felt this sort of possessiveness since his first partner, and the thought scares him, almost causes him to pull away from II prematurely.

II, feeling the small spike of fear down the bond, probes gently along the tether in question and Vessel shoves back reassurance when he feels II beginning to pull away. It causes II to relax further into the kiss, leaning into Vessel's space even more as he puts his weight on Vessel's thigh where their hands are clasped tightly.

"Can I have my kiss now? As hot as this is, it's my turn." III pouts lightheartedly, eyeing the both of them with arousal he has no intention to act upon.

Not yet, anyway. They'll need to figure things out with Vessel first, see where he stands on the sexual side of the relationship III is pretty sure they're all in now. The thought fills him with elation, and their leg begins to bounce as the anticipation rises.

II and Vessel are slow to pull away from each other, one of II's hand very lightly grazing Vessel's nape. Vessel's face feels flushed with heat, a little breathless as he pants with a grin so wide it hurts. II is much the same, and Vessel wonders what the other would look like with that same expression while on top of him. Longs to see such a sight with such deep desire Vessel is surprised at himself.

II pulls entirely away from Vessel as the taller man stares after him, leaning back in his chair with a satisfied smile, contentment and love pouring down the bond. III pulls his chair closer with a harsh sound against the flooring, grabbing Vessel's shoulders gently and pulling him to meet them. His kiss is quicker to head into full on making out, tongue swiping across Vessel's bottom lip immediately.

III tastes like too-sweet vanilla coffee, over eager as their teeth clack against Vessel's. Vessel continues grinning anyway, absolutely elated just as he was when he kissed II. III's presence and tongue consume every thought in Vessel's head, the chair creaking as III puts more weight into the back of it to lessen the space between them.

"If you're not careful, the chair will break from under him." II comments in amusement as the chair creaks harshly again.

"We'll just buy a new one." III says between kisses, staring at Vessel even as the other has his eyes closed.

III is obsessed with the way Vessel tastes, a little bit of iron like blood, a little like his coffee half finished on the table, vanilla and hazelnut from the copious amounts of creamer he put in. III just might have to try out their coffee that way sometime, just to see if it could compare to the taste of Vessel.

As much as Vessel would love nothing more than to kiss II and III, to watch them kiss each other, all day, for as long as they'll let him, there is a need building in the back of his mind.

It had been building under his skin ever since the first murder; the need to kill himself to grant his mind rest. His body did not rest, could not rest even in Sleep's realm, and his mind is suffering under the minor headache and the tremble that will not leave his frame. He intended to come home, to kill himself last night before either one of the others knew he had returned. He was going to rest in the only way he knew how, and then tell II and III what he had done in the morning. That plan had not come to pass.

It is better for Vessel to ask, to let them know he intends to turn the bond off, than to do it all of a sudden. At least, that's what Vessel tells himself. He needs to rest.

So Vessel pulls away first, disappointment mirrored on III's face. It only grows when Vessel speaks, "I'm going to go worship, to- to thank Sleep for bringing us together. For giving me the opportunity to take your pain away. I- Can- Can I turn my bond off, just until I'm done? I promise I'll turn it back on after. I'm sorry."

Guilty eyes plead with II and III who remain close, sat stiffly in their dining table chairs. Anxiety chases away any lingering peace from the moment they'd just had.

III bitterly turns away, not responding, but II nods slowly in acceptance. Vessel is near tears with his thankfulness, flooding the bond with it and his guilt and his apologies.

As Vessel escapes upstairs, what II says to his back as he goes almost causes Vessel to turn right back around, to keep the bond open and not worship today at all. "I love you, Vessel."

Vessel does pause, though, halfway up the staircase on the little landing before it continues up at a different angle, "I love you as well, Two. And you, Three."

With a bit of hesitation, Vessel sends a small amount of his large expanse of love down the bond. He does not wish to overwhelm them with it. It is met with care, gently cradled in the souls of the other vessels. They send back their own love, and its hard for Vessel to deny they do love him to some extent, now that he knows that is what it feels like. Its hard, but not impossible. Vessel knows it is only a matter of time before this infatuation fades, before they realize they love each other more than they love him. Vessel can see it clear as day. They love each other like he loves them. He thinks he can be happy if they find happiness together, even if that happiness does not include him. Already, they've given him so much more than he could ever have asked for. They've been so kind, more considerate than he deserves. Vessel loves them.

The altar room is cold, the candles unlit as he locks the door behind him. The sigil on the wall gleams in the darkness, his vision capturing the shine clearly. Under a loose floorboard by one of the walls, a knife sits. Vessel retrieves it, removing his hoodie and unstrapping his mask from his belt. Folding the hoodie and placing the mask on top with care, Vessel leaves it at his side. Unwrapping the bandages II did for him yesterday, Vessel hesitates to bring the knife to his wrist.

'My Vessel, returning so soon?' Black and red swirls in the offering plate as Vessel finally brings the blade to his skin, dragging it up the vein on his arm to speed along his death.

'Yes, my God.' Vessel replies as he watches the blood spill heavily from the wound.

Vessel does not think he has any right to ask for this, and yet he wonders if his God will grant the request.

'Speak, my First. Ask, and I will answer.'

'No, it is alright, my God. I will ask another time.' Vessel refutes, worrying his lower lip between a fang.

Another time. He will only ask if there is no other option. This is the last time Vessel intends to kill himself for the foreseeable future, so he knows it is only a matter of time before he buckles under the pressure.

Vessel offers up all of his blood to Sleep again, loving the sting and the numb cold spreading throughout his body. He dies with a rueful smile on his face, and Sleep takes care to fix his wounds while he lingers in a state of not-death. He wants them to truly love him so badly. He wants to let himself love them fully, without holding himself back, but Vessel fears his love is too much. He fears driving them away. Before death takes his mind, he is reliving every moment of II and III's lips on his, fanning that flame of hope in his soul despite his best efforts.

::

As Vessel's soul is cut off from theirs, as the void in their chests open with that sudden emptiness, II and III reach for each other. III's bond is still laced with bitter sadness, a twinge of fear that echoes II's own. It is not an easy thing, to feel that Vessel is dead when they know differently.

"I think we overwhelmed him. Did you see his face when he left?" III frowns, and II nods, brow furrowed.

II is the first to reach out, hands coming to rest tenderly on either side of III's face as he leans forward to plant a kiss on his lips, careful of the bruising already beginning to heal. Then another, and another, until the last one is deepened by III. They spend a few minutes like that, trading gentle kisses that range from chaste to deeper ones full of tongue and careful nips. It is II that pulls away first, wrapping III in a tight hug.

"Thank you." II breathes out, cheek pressed to III's chest.

"For what?" They ask, beginning to card a hand through II's hair as the other rests on II's hip.

"You've helped him. Helped me. More than you know. We needed you, and I'm so, so glad Sleep chose you. I love him so dearly. I was always someone who spoke their mind about these sorts of things, but no one else has made me feel the way he does. The way you do. The thought of messing up what we had scared me so badly. You helped us work past it. He's going to let us love him."

::

When Vessel wakes as if from a restless sleep, head resting in the empty offering plate, he feels... guilty. II and III's bonds are immediately open to him, though Vessel keeps his shut away for now. Just until he gathers his wits and leaves the altar room.

They had asked him not to shut his bond off. He had promised, and yet was too weak to keep that promise. They did not even get angry with him. They did not hit him or yell, but Vessel thinks their clear disappointment hurt far worse than anything else they could've done. Vessel has to keep it this time. He has gotten a taste of what their love could feel like, a taste of them, lingering on his tongue.

Vessel resolves to not kill himself anymore, just as he had promised. It is one he intends to keep, for as long as his resolve remains. If it means he bleeds more, then so be it. Vessel will simply have to be careful not to go too far. He has killed himself plenty now, he knows his limits.

Vessel stumbles out of the altar room, nursing a worse migraine than before as he goes searching for II and III. His bond opens, the tether snapping into place with the other souls linked to it, and Vessel feels whole again. He follows the tether and the gentle tugging from III's bond, finding II and III in II's room, laid out on his bed trading soft little kisses with the door open in invitation. Vessel is envious of their tender expressions, but it doesn't last long as III turns to look at Vessel, that same expression still gracing their features.

It doesn't falter or fall, only remains as it was when III was looking at II. "Sugar! Come lay with us awhile. Two and I were thinking of going downstairs to play some more NieR in a little while, if you want."

II's face is flushed as he looks up at III from below them, a little dazed looking, but his dopey smile is easily turned towards Vessel when III makes him aware that Vessel is there.

Their smiles widen when Vessel begins to make his way towards the bed, hovering at the edge of it unsurely. II sits up as III moves off of him, releasing the smaller man from the cage their arms had made.

II offers his hand to Vessel, who takes it and lets II pull him gently onto the bed. As he does so, III speaks, "I gave Two plenty of kisses after I managed to get him under me, can I give you some now?"

At Vessel's eager nod, III reaches forward and pulls Vessel close by the nape of his neck, careful not to let their fingers wrap around Vessel's throat. Another hand is slowly put on Vessel's shoulder, and Vessel lets III maneuver him to lay on the bed, watching in rapt attention as III straddles him. His skin feels alight with anticipation, a frown soon marring his features as III asks if he can cage Vessel in with their arms, like they did II. Unable to get any words out, Vessel grabs his phone in frustration. He knew this was coming, and he hates that he cannot speak to the only people he wants to hear his voice.

'Do not touch my neck, chest, or wrists. Anything else is fine.' Vessel types on his phone, wanting III to hurry up and kiss him.

Despite what Vessel said, as III leans over him, tall frame blocking out Vessel's view of the ceiling and his pretty blonde hair like a halo, he begins to feel nervousness creep under his skin. It fades somewhat as III leans down to kiss him, soft lips pressing against Vessel's, bitten and chapped. II's hand takes a hold of one of Vessel's at their sides, leaned up against his headboard as he watches his new lovers kiss tenderly. Just this morning, II was sure Vessel would reject them, was sure it was going to be far more difficult to convince Vessel that they loved him. Even now, II isn't sure Vessel believes them, knows it is likely going to be a long journey until he understands how they worship him.

II leans over so the angle doesn't strain Vessel's arm, pressing gentle kisses to his fingertips, hand clasped in his own with care. Affection swells up in Vessel's chest, so much he feels as though he will burst at the seams with it. He has never been kissed so reverently before, never with such gentle care. Unwillingly, his fingers tighten over II's hand, trying to pull him a little closer even as his breath is consistently stolen by III's lips.

III is relentless as he presses kiss after kiss to Vessel's lips, holding the kiss a little longer each time. At some point, Vessel's eyes slip closed, letting III do as he pleases as his nervousness slips away. There is a gentle press of lips to his forehead, over each closed eyelid, over both cheekbones and the tip of his nose. II holds Vessel's hand close to his face, pressing the back of Vessel's hand to his cheek, taking in his muscles losing their tension and the relaxed expression on his face with awe. II isn't sure he's ever seen Vessel completely relaxed, so unguarded like this. Its the closest II thinks they'll ever get to seeing what Vessel would look like at rest.

His messy hair is splayed out around him, pulled back into a half up, half down style that Vessel had asked II to do earlier that morning. It leaves his pointed ears on display, the stud piercings that sit in his lobes.

III pauses before they go in for another kiss on Vessel's mouth, intending to deepen it, "You're beautiful, Sugar."

Vessel's eyes blink open, and he smiles, a tiny, sad thing that speaks volumes of just what Vessel thinks of that statement. His free hand comes to rest over his chest, shaking his head, before he reaches up and gently places all five fingers, then his palm against III's chest, nodding his head. What Vessel is trying to say is clear. He doesn't think he's pretty at all, thinks III is the pretty one. II wishes he could show Vessel how he sees him, how utterly captivating he is.

One day, they'll manage to convince him of his beauty, no matter what. For now, they'll smother him in their love until he believes them in their surety of its existence.

"I love you Vessel." III murmurs against Vessel's lips, watching him closely in fascination.

Vessel smiles, pressing his lips back to III's in answer, trying to put his love into the kiss since his words have failed him. One long arm reaches put and pulls II to III's side as the other man fumbles to stay upright, a hand coming to III's shoulder. They're careful not to put too much weight on Vessel who still lays below them, six eyes half-lidded and face flushed.

"Just because I'm shorter doesn't mean you get to boss me around in bed, sweetheart." II says, using his superior strength to shove III over.

He lets out an oomph as they land beside Vessel, laughing along with II who follows them, placing short kisses on III's mouth. Now that they've all had a taste, they can't seem to get enough of kissing one another. Not that any of them are complaining; far, far from it, actually.

"It is a crime I can't kiss the both of you at once." II frowns, hovering on his knees between the other two's prone bodies.

"It's a good thing I like to watch, then. Watch you both kiss, that is. Among other things." III smirks slyly, batting his pretty eyelashes up at II.

Vessel's hands have come to rest on his stomach, a surprised, quiet snort of a laugh leaving him.

"While I can't say I'm surprised, those other things can wait until we've had a proper conversation about sex, sweetheart."

"We could have the conversation right no-"

"I'd prefer to wait a bit." II glances down at Vessel with a tender look, "After we figure out what we all are to each other, and how we're going to navigate whatever this is. I'd like us to settle into the relationship first." II waves between all three of them.

"Oh, thank Sleep you brought it up, I was losing my mind wondering. Are we all dating?" III asks, sitting up on an elbow, brushing a strand of hair behind their ear.

"I would like us to be."

Vessel sits up enough to grab his phone again from where it had fallen somewhere beside him, and the others wait patiently for him to type out what he wants to say. 'Allthreeof us?'

"Yes, Ves. Have you never heard of polyamory?" II says, a brow raising in question, not intending to come across as demeaning but feeling a little like he did anyway.

'I have.' Vessel starts, typing something out and then backspacing as his bond shrinks away like he is trying to minimize its presence, as he clearly tries to hide without projecting calm when that isn't what he is feeling.

III is glad Vessel is trying, at least. Glad that Vessel listened to him, even if it seems they couldn't quite get through to him about closing the bond off entirely.

Vessel does not turn the phone around, only let's his hands fall to rest in his lap as he scoots back against the headboard, a claw very gently tapping against the back casing in anxiety. II and III share a confused glance before III speaks, "Well, I would prefer the term partner, but boyfriend is fine, too."

Vessel is confused. None of his past relationships started off this way. There was no clarification for sex or terms or if they were even dating. If Vessel was kissed, and did not refuse another, then his past partners always just assumed they were dating. There was no asking if Vessel wanted it, too. It wasn't like Vessel minded, at the time. He was in love with his past partners, happy to go along with whatever they wanted as long as they'd stay with him.

He is confused, though when is he not, when it comes to the other vessels. II refused III's offer to talk over the sexual aspect of their relationship, saving it for a later time. Vessel didn't realize that was an option. He was prepared to go along with anything the other two wanted, happy to receive anything they would give him. He didn't realize that they were going to talk over the sexual aspect of the relationship at all. It fills him with anxiety, as he knows he'll need to keep his mouth shut and keep the things he likes to himself so they'll be pleased with him.

"Ves? Are you okay?" II asks, when he notices Vessel has stopped contributing to the conversation, has seemed to stop listening entirely.

Vessel cannot stop the looping words in his mind, even as he smiles at II shakily, nodding.

'Of course a little freak like you would be into that. Keep your mutilation bullshit to yourself. Do it again, and the next hit will be worse.'

Vessel learned to keep his thoughts of sex to himself, learned to let them do whatever they wished. Sex was not something Vessel had much care for, after his first partner. The time after him, with his second and third, was not much different. Vessel expects sex with II and III to be no different, despite their clear differences to his past partners.

'Boyfriend or partner is fine with me.' Vessel types, hands shaking as he holds the phone up for them to see.

"Okay, those're fine with me as well." II says, taking note of Vessel's tremble, grabbing his free hand to rub soothingly over his knuckles.

"Can I kiss you, Doll?" III blurts, already leaning forward from where he had sat up next to Vessel.

II smiles, leaning forward to meet III's lips happily. "You don't need to ask me, honey, I'm always available for your kisses. Unless I'm behind my drum set."

"I'm setting a good example for Vessel's sake." III pouts, and II kisses it off of them with a smile.

Eager as he is to watch them kiss, to watch as II's blush spreads over his exposed shoulders due to his tank top, Vessel wishes to do something else.

He taps III's thigh, holding his phone out for them to look at when they manage to pull away from II. His smile is bright, and it only widens when they read what Vessel has written.

"Doll, Vessel wants to head downstairs to play more NieR. I can't refuse him, look at how pretty our boyfriend is, asking so nicely." III urges with a cheeky smirk, and II turns to look at Vessel with a smile of his own.

"He is a very, very pretty boyfriend, isn't he?" II smirks as well, eyes raking down Vessel's form.

Vessel flushes with heat at their words, red spreading from his cheeks to his ears. He scrambles to get up from the bed so he doesn't have to respond, bond filled with shy embarrassment as II and III giggle good naturedly from behind him.

Vessel... is glad to realize that they are not laughing at him, not in a cruel way. His embarrassment does not stem from shame, only bashfulness at their words and he knows that. Not long ago, it feels like, Vessel would have felt as though they were laughing at him out of cruelty.

II and III meet Vessel down in the living room, finding him already swathed under a large blanket that he opens up in offering as II sits beside him. III turns pretty, begging blue eyes on Vessel when he sees that he can't sit between both Vessel and II, and Vessel can't help his amusement as he scoots over, away from II, so that there is space between them.

II gets up quickly and speeds off to the kitchen, returning with cold drinks. III snatches up the Mountain Dew with haste, cracking open the top and taking a sip as the PlayStation starts up.

"Would you like to play this time?" III asks, controller held up in offering.

Hesitantly, before Vessel can overthink it too much, he nods. He dies, repeatedly, and constantly clicks the button for a different action than he wanted, but as he learns the controls, Vessel finds more and more enjoyment in the game. His six eyes can track different things all at once, allowing him to notice enemies before they hit him, though it doesn't make his fingers any better at clicking the correct buttons. Taking in the sights of the game is easier, too, able to keep an eye on his character, the scenery, and any enemies.

'Can I turn the sound effects down a little bit, so I can hear the music better?' Vessel asks after just dying for the umpteenth time to a difficult boss.

"Of course, and can you turn subtitles on? I keep forgetting to." Vessel is already nodding in agreement, bottom set of eyes looking down at the controller to make sure he pushes the right button.

They sit like that until well past midnight, II's head in III's lap as he snores under an extra blanket, one hand clutching III's thigh. III leans heavily on Vessel, too, more and more as the night wears on. Changing positions as his back protests, Vessel leans back into the cushions from where he had been sat forward with his elbows on his knees. III follows, leaning their head on Vessel's shoulder, blinking slowly yet fighting valiantly to stay awake.

Vessel pauses the game after III's head slips off his shoulder for the umpteenth time, III jerking awake and righting their head only to repeat again a few seconds later.

"Oh, you've started ending B." III murmurs, already beginning to nod off again.

A very gentle jostling at his shoulder causes III to look up, finding Vessel's dim phone screen awaiting them.

'Go on to bed.'

"No, I'm okay. I'll just stay here with you and Two. You should start a new game, so you can play all on your own without worrying about us. Then we can take turns on this save file." III replies, shuffling around on the couch to get more comfortable.

'You'll be sore in the morning when you wake.' Vessel argues, but III only blinks blearily at the phone screen before shaking their head in refusal.

They shift II carefully to be more in their lap as they lean towards Vessel again, and Vessel does not move away, only let's III use him as a pillow while they settle down to actually get some rest.

"Goodnight Sugar, I love you."

Vessel brushes a gentle hand over III's hair in answer, unable to speak still but needing to respond to III somehow.

What is Vessel to do with those two?

After making sure II and III remain asleep and unaware, Vessel snaps a photo of them laid together. He settles in under the blanket for a long night, starting up a new save file on the easiest difficulty. It can't hurt to play every difficulty available, just to challenge himself.

#sleep token #vessel sleep token #ii sleep token #sleep token fic #sleep token iii #polyvessels #poly sleep token #fanfic #sleep token fanfiction

[foxgloveinspace]

I don’t fucking care what anyone says, Vessel smiling at III like that. While holding him like that.

Something has to be going on behind the scenes and all I have to say to that is good for them, thanks for the onstage flirting, and they should keep that shit as private as they are keeping themselves cause I don’t want shitty people making them uncomfy. All they need to give us is what they are giving us.

#very much so #sleep token #‘vessel are actually poly’ ok. good for them. I hope it all works out well and they kiss so much #II just isn’t into pda. ALSO it’s so hard to kiss someone while drumming leave him alone lmao

[nocompromise-noregrets]

Chapters: 29/32 Fandom: The Lord of the Rings - J. R. R. Tolkien, The Lord of the Rings - All Media Types, The Lord of the Rings (Movies), TOLKIEN J. R. R. - Works & Related Fandoms, The Hobbit - All Media Types, The Hobbit (Jackson Movies), The Hobbit - J. R. R. Tolkien Rating: Teen And Up Audiences Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Bard the Bowman/Thranduil, Bard the Bowman/Bard the Bowman's Wife, Thranduil/Thranduil's Wife, Bard the Bowman's Wife/Thranduil's Wife Characters: Bard the Bowman, Thranduil (Tolkien), Thranduil's Wife, Bard the Bowman's Wife, Legolas Greenleaf, Sigrid (Hobbit Movies), Tilda (Hobbit Movies), Tauriel (Hobbit Movies), Gimli (Son of Glóin) Additional Tags: Fluff, Valinor, Depression, Recovery, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Reincarnation, Reunions, Women Being Awesome, Strong Female Characters, Indomitable Women, Pre-Poly, Polyamory, Polyamory Negotiations, Past Imrahil/Legolas Series: Part 48 of My Heart Is An Empty Vessel Summary:

After he sails West, Thranduil finds no comfort in the Undying Lands, so his wife and son decide to do something about it. This involves making certain demands of the Valar, and the return of several people Thranduil thought he had lost for ever, not least the other great love of his life.

Sequel to My Heart Is An Empty Vessel, following on from the epilogue Empty-Handed.

Chapter 29 now (finally!) posted!

Bard enlists Auriel's help in a scheme to get help for Thranduil from someone who understands what he has been through.

Oh good LORD it has been NEARLY TWO YEARS since I last updated, and last time was OVER A YEAR since the last time. I am so sorry! I ran into a bit of writer's block on this one a while ago and couldn't see a way through it, but I think I know what to do with it (and the plotlines it's sprouted that were terrifying me) now, and so this one will finish with chapter 32, and then there will be a sequel in which the renegade plotlines get to run free! I promise faithfully to upload the next chapters without such a shamefully enormous delay, and hopefully it'll help unstick the muses for the sequel...

#lotr #bard/thranduil #barduil #bard the bowman #thranduil #bard's wife (maudie) #thranduil's wife (auriel) #auriel/maudie #bard/maudie #auriel/thranduil #poly relationships #break you but you'll mend #my heart is an empty vessel #my writing