#prioritize your feelings

[akindplace]

It is not healthy to absorve all the emotions of every person or every situation you come in contact with on a daily basis. It is okay to have empathy, to be emotional and sensitive, but don't allow yourself to become an emotional sponge to the point you start carrying others' burdens, or where you have an emotional burn out.

You need to learn how to separate your emotions from the ones you are absorbing and to prioritize your own feelings when dealing with your own health. You can only help others if you help yourself first. But helping people doesn't mean swallowing their pain and doing all the work for them to get them to a better place. It is important they also learn how to cope, that they deal with these things actively.

It is important to understand that you are a separate individual and that you will never become a selfish person by dealing with your feelings first and then trying to help someone else.

You can't carry everyone's baggage, you can't save people (you can help them save themselves), and you don't have to experience their pain first hand to be able to understand what they are going through.

You don't need to absorb so much emotion that it becomes hard for you to process. Learn what you can take and what you cannot. It doesn't make you a bad person, I promise, it actually makes you a healthy one.

#emotional health #emotional sponge #mental health #absorbing #prioritize your feelings #you are not selfish #reminder #validation #reassurance

[julijbee]

girlbossing too close to the sun.

#art #ive literally just been treating this game as a library simuator #i walk from bookseller to bookseller opening up all of their books #vivecs sermons are either a highlight or the point at which i stop reading #ive been trying to convince the ordinators that imitation is the highest form of flattery but it hasnt been working #let me wear your helmets please theyre so funny.. #posting morrowind in 2024 isnt a cry for help but youre not wrong to be concerned. #morrowind #almalexia #vivec #im going to explain the chitin armor give me a moment #so the bonewalker nerevar on the shrines is adorable and it was only after drawing it however many times that i realized #it looked relatively close to a modified chitin armor #and so i modified chitin armor a few times and this was probably the cutest result #i also know i drew almalexia relatively pristine and untouched by years and vivec not so much but my thought process was #vivecs role as if not a favorite then the most accessible divine or the most “hands on” in a manner of speaking #acting in ways visible to the general population or actions explicitly brought to their attention #like not that almalexia isnt doing anything she is #but the dissemination of information regarding that is very different etc etc etc #anyways to a certain extent a god is the face on a shrine or in art or upon a statue or carving #but vivecs presence is interwoven with the geography of vvardenfell especially and his actions and writings with pubished materials #and the arts and culture and customs etc etc etc #so to me the face of a god you know and feel a commonality with or a god that walks alongside you is a face you would recognize #and vivec is already otherworldly looking enough #the simple mark of the years on his skin in some way grounding him in reality felt more right #that and i think the ways in which he and almalexia care about outward appearance are slightly different- they prioritize different things #and the ways they present outward power and their embodiment of their respective attributes share some similarities as they both have that #important preoccupation with physical power and physical strength to a certain degree #oh my god nobody read this i am yapping so bad. #tes

[enii]

I hope your little heart is okay💕🫂

#illustration #artists on tumblr #cute #artoftheday #digital illustration #wholesome #I hope your little heart is okay #virtual hugs #hug #dear me #i will be okay #we will be okay #loved #procreate art #you are not alone #sweet illustration #prioritize your peace #prioritize your mental health #procreate illustration #not alone #it's okay to rest #you can cry #it's okay to cry #relatable #relatable art #art #artist on tumblr #artist of tumblr #deep feelings #feel your emotions

[thepoisonroom]

'I flirted with the idea that instead of being trans that I was just a cross-dresser (a quirk, I thought, that could be quietly folded into an otherwise average life) and that my dysphoria was sexual in nature, and sexual only. And if my feelings were only sexual, then, I wondered, perhaps I wasn’t actually trans.

I had read about a book called The Man Who Would Be Queen, by a Northwestern University professor who believed that transwomen who were attracted to women were really confused fetishists, they wanted to be women to satisfy an autogynephilia. And though I first read about this book in the context of its debunkment and disparagement, I thought about the electricity of slipping on those tights, zipping up those boots, and a stream of guilt followed. Maybe this professor was right, and maybe I was only a fetishist. Not trans, just a misguided boy.

About a year later, on the Internet, I come across a transwoman who added a unique message to the crowd refuting this professor. Oh, I wish I remember who this woman was, and I wish even more that I could do better than paraphrase her, but I remember her saying something like this: “Well, of course I feel sexy putting on women’s clothing and having a woman’s body. If you feel comfortable in your body for the first time, won’t that probably mean it’ll be the first time you feel comfortable, too, with delighting in your body as a sexual thing?”'

-Casey Plett, Consciousness

#this quote always moves me almost to tears when i remember it #i'm not a trans woman and i don't share the author's specific experiences with transition #but it really moves me that she frame transition as joyfully giving yourself permission to approach your body #not as something that has to be disciplined and deprived and made small in all these various ways #but as a means for experiencing pleasure and joy and delight and for insisting that our feelings and desires are worth #valuing and exploring and treasuring #i always used to think of prioritizing those things for myself as selfish and irresponsible #but who does it harm to want to experience pleasure in your own body? #it's such a beautifully simple and powerful switch to have flip in your head #and equally why are we forced to deny our own pleasure in transition and anything else related to our bodies in the name of moral rectitude #this is why i get so confused and pissed off when other trans people are fatphobic for example #like why are you so invested in politics of shame and disgust that never had any purpose other than #violently disciplining people as if they've violated moral codes by existing in a body #to say nothing of white people being racist in gay and trans communities #like again this system of violence is foundational to homophobia and transphobia #so why are you acting like it has nothing to do with you #even if you are unmoved by the urgency of other people's suffering which btw you should be moved by #what do you hope to gain by acting a collaborator and handmaiden to those systems #Casey Plett #she really is one of my favorite authors i wish more non-canadians read her #this quote is from a series of columns she did ont transition and every single one is a banger #i love when she talks about the people-pleasing elements of dysphoria and transition denial #she's so sharp about noting how many of us deny our own dysphoria on the grounds that others like and validate our bodies #that's how i always felt during my cis conventionally feminine era #it pleased other people so much and also that reception felt so hollow and joyless to me because i hated it #i get less of that positive feedback but that feels so unimportant next to the joy and pleasure i get to experience #said with the understanding that i'm very privileged in being able to prioritize those things without fear. but it was a switch flip #personal nonsense

[my-autism-adhd-blog]

ADHD & the Holidays

Future ADHD

#adhd #adhd post #adhd & the holidays #novelty #prioritize your needs #adhd things #adhd help #neurodivergence #neurodiversity #actually neurodivergent #feel free to reblog/share #Future ADHD (facebook)

[nemesis-is-my-middle-name]

i know i've posted abt this before also but i did not have screenshots to demonstrate just HOW gently passive aggressive ingo is to volo when they talk. i have no idea if they intended it this way but he sounds so "sadly my strict standard of conduct will not let me tell you to fuck off for asking weirdly personal questions just so you can share your theories but with the subtext toolkit available to me i am VERY much shooing you out of the way so i can get back to what i was actually trying to do."

#the nemesis speaks #pla analysis #idk if it really comes across without the context of volo's whole ramble #but he really did just sort of rock up to you while you were TRYING to get through this quarry #just to be like ''hi ingo. hey tell me about your memory loss. great now listen to what I think about the whole thing'' #though the exchange does also make me feel like they have had prior conversations to this effect #ingo feigns not recognizing him at first but the way he says ''continue to prioritize'' specifically makes me feel like #this is not the first time they've tread this particular ground #volo also greets ingo pretty familiarly at the start of it imo #these tags are getting long but one other thing that sort of strikes me atm and i'm curious to see if it continues #is like. this is the rudest (by his standards) ingo gets with mmmost everyone in pla #-except melli. who he is actually fairly direct with. and melli in turn doesn't rise to it really at all #for a guy who bitches at literally everyone just saying ''well guess we don't always see eye to eye!'' is like. WILDLY notable #and then ingo asks you to say hi to him later #they're friends i think. thanks for ur time

[teamsasukes]

listen i get where people are coming from when they say that nobody should have expected a radical overhaul of the shinobi system considering the series very squarely set up its main theme as not abandoning friends. that certainly was the setup. but i also think it would be inaccurate to say that the story as it evolved affirmed that refusing to abandon one's friends was the be-all and end-all fix for everything. i cannot emphasize this enough: it's not as though the prior generations we saw lacked devotion to their teammates. the problem was that the larger sociopolitical circumstances obstructed their ability to connect in one way or another. even naruto acknowledges at the land of iron that his and sasuke's positions made it impossible for them to reconcile. so for the series to do a 180 and assert that actually friendship was the solution all along (even though there have been no meaningful systemic changes, even though the source of these intergenerational conflicts has not been addressed) rings hollow. it's especially glaring that being violently beaten in a fight makes sasuke desert his quest for justice without any reservation -- therefore no ideological or political separation was bridged, sasuke was just made to forget what motivated him for the entire series' run. naruto and team 7 succeeding where their predecessors failed was not a function of anything they did differently, but mere narrative convenience.

#like. nearly every prominent relationship in this series is definitive proof that love is not enough! #itachi without a doubt loved sasuke and itachi hurt sasuke more immensely than anyone and itachi did it because of loyalty to the state #if that is how you love... your love is worth nothing #so yeah it just feels really disingenuous to say that the series was about the power of friendship all along #and people expecting anything else were watching the wrong series #when textually the power of friendship has ALWAYS proven insufficient #naruto #naruto meta #team 7 #and listen u could certainly argue that the friendship in previous gens was deficient because there was no attempt made #at understanding or compromise. and to really live by obito's nindo you had to prioritize each other over country ALWAYS #but the series didn't do that either. sasuke for all intents and purposes 'lost' #and he was integrated back into konoha by accepting the hitai-ate #nrt had a bunch of weird mixed messaging on that front in general. like hiruzen letting orochimaru go which proved disastrous for konoha #or hiruzen and danzo's whole thing lmao #but whether the uchiha massacre was right/necessary was also left ambiguous so i'm not sure how that's supposed to paint hiruzen

[altschmerzes]

out there doing the lord’s work (headcanoning characters as aromantic and Not interested in romantic relationships at all actually, alienating one fandom at a time but having a fantastic blast with it all the while, which is really all that matters)

#gav gab #i need to finish my aro fics #two of them are in progress rn #and both involve the aro character in question being like #not only am i aro but romantic relationships? not for me #one of them is like Friends Are It For Me and the other is interested in a qpr #but neither want romance #and i can’t help but notice that fandoms only seem to want to tolerate like #aro or arospec headcanons when they leave plausible deniability for their ship to still exist #bc of romance favourability or arospec identities that leave room for romantic feelings #not to say those headcanons are bad just that it’s really transparent to me #when fandoms will only allow ones that give them a get out of aro free card so to speak #from an allo or shipper perspective #smacks of the way they’ll allow ace characters or ace headcanons but not aro ones (obv In My Experience disclaimer) #like huh funny how you prioritize your ability to ship over anything else! #cant imagine why fandom spaces feel so inherently and explicitly hostile to me #aro blogging

[findafight]

People making Robin mean to Steve is one of the biggest reasons I loved your one sided Ron*nce post. Because I genuinely cannot see Robin just overlooking how much Nancy hurt Steve just because Robin has a crush on her. Like even in small ways, I think Nancy did a number on Steve. I look at their relationship and see Steve being told he’s over dramatic, stupid, and that his hobbies and anything that makes him Steve is automatically less than Nancy’s hobbies and desires. Idk I just can’t see Robin hearing about that or about anyone treating Steve badly and not taking Steve’s side. Stobin should have the same brain always

Ahhh yes thank you!! Yeah it simply doesn't make sense to me with the history there. Because like. Even if we do not think Nancy cheated on Steve (which I believe she did, regardless of what TPTB say) she still broke his heart. Regardless of whether or not Steve thinks it's justifiable that she did, Robin wouldn't let that go. She holds a grudge like a motherfucker. The girl she liked had a crush on Steve and he also ate bagels messily in class and didn't know her name and she held onto that for at least two if not three years. No way that after she has finally found her forever person she'll let him being hurt go!! If she can hold onto a petty grudge she can hold onto a heartbreak grudge for her best friend. She does not like people who are mean to Steve and would not be one of them in the way she is sometimes made to be in fics(outside of legitimate misunderstandings, disagreements, normal friendship conflicts) (sorry I've rewritten this like 3 times trying to figure out how to say this without dissecting the st/ncy dynamic in s2. [which i ended up doing and then copy pasting that into a blank doc because oh. i have points. but off topic for this. But it's still a bit ranty] this gets a bit long, but I did delete a weird siderant in it so it's more on topic? I do have a stobin and r//ance point I SWEAR and I hope this is cohesive)

Like, I think Steve 100% blames himself for the breakup. We see this in s4. but also the show tries to make us believe that that's the truth and not Steve seeing Nancy through rose-coloured glasses which is wild. Unreliable Narrator Steve about his own love life is just. it makes sense with everything that we see happen between him and Nancy and how she very much has fault in the ending of their relationship, and should have taken more responsibility and at least broken up with Steve after she slept with Jonathan, but allowed Steve to shoulder the blame for being a "shitty boyfriend" when he really wasn't.

The way the breakup is framed as Steve's fault from the beginning of S2 is kinda wild to me because...Steve was right?? I ALSO wouldn't want to be discussing telling people the top secret government conspiracy that people had been murdered to keep it quiet over in the school library. That's not shitty boyfriend behaviour that's smart person scared of the government that can and will kill you if you blab behaviour. And Nancy even admitted she waited for Jonathan to make a move before going back to Steve, and then she cheated on him with jon! These are not things that Steve knows about or is responsible for! Why does the show make it seem like Steve is entirely at fault here!

Anyways I think Steve must not have told Robin everything and just used his "I was a shitty boyfriend" line on why they broke up for robin and while yeah, she's not good at reading people, she does know when to not push her sad looking friend into talking about a rough breakup. Which is why Robin is on the St/cy train in s4. If she had known everything, (once again not even touching the cheating) I cannot see her pushing Steve towards Nancy. She loves Steve and wants him happy, and thinks maybe if Nancy keeps giving him eyes, knowing Steve has changed in the past year and a half, Robin thinks maybe something can come of it! that's sweet! She's trying to get her friend back together with an ex he cares about, that obviously seems into him too, and doesn't know the extent of their breakup. Unfortunately canon did not make it clear Steve or Robin or Dustin or Eddie know Nancy and Jonathan are still dating? Which makes it very weird, and not make sense, so I am choosing to believe through a game of telephone with the kids Robin and Steve think Nancy and Jonathan broke up and that's why she didn't go to cali.

But Robin doesn't have all the facts so when he does tell her all about the end of his and Nancy's relationship, yes, and Robin is squinting at him because he is acting like it is his fault his heart got broken, but from all the facts given, it doesn't actually seem that way. She's not the best at reading people but she knows Steve, and it just...doesn't add up for her. Because all the things he said he did make sense to Robin, not wanting the government to kill you is actually very reasonable etc... And Steve is still so sad about it and clearly it still affected him getting his heartbroken like that. So Robin, who can hold a bagel crumb grudge like literally no one else, will obviously hold some resentment towards Nancy for hurting Steve like that even if Steve doesn't blame her, because Robin knows what it's like to just...not understand what you did wrong and still blame yourself for it. She's neurodiverse! If we use Rebel Robin, she lost Barb as a friend for seemingly no reason to her other than Barb finding a better friend(I think?) and it wasn't so dramatic as a breakup, but still. I think seeing that Steve had legitimately tried with the tools he was given to support Nancy and be a good boyfriend but blamed himself, and Nancy letting him do that, would strike a chord with Robin. She would Not let it go.

Robin might want to be Nancy's friend, especially if Steve is encouraging it, and insisting that it's fine and they did save the world together, but you're right! she could never overlook the fact that, not only is Nancy Steve's ex which makes things awkward anyway, but she also broke his heart and let him take the blame for it even if he doesn't realize it. (not to mention!! the cheating!!! I am still looking for post s2 st/ncy fic that let's them actually talk about it but it seems like that's just not addressed by the shippers? which is unfortunate because I'd read it, but I don't ship it enough to care to write it myself. Ya feel?) She could probably move past it for friendship if Steve was okay, but I also just...don't think they'd be super close friends.

Tbh I don't see Nancy really wanting to stick around with the Hawkins crew more than exchanging holiday cards and maybe a wedding or big event or something. It'd be nice for her to have people she knows she can rely on, but her goals are so much bigger than that and she'd want to get away and move on, especially if it was for sure over and done. She wants a lot more than Hawkins, and canonically only stays in contact with people involved with the Upside Down if they're dating her or related to her. I know we love to make everyone happy friends big found family but in canon...I don't think Nancy is really looking back at her hometown once she leaves for uni.

I don't think I can even picture Robin having a crush on her in anything other than "pretty badass girl appreciation" way because knowing thabout the st/ncy breakup would probably kill any butterflies before they hatch for Robin.

She couldn't do that to Steve. She couldn't do that to herself! I've seen people complain that a lot of the... not criticism but reasoning for not liking r0nance makes it about Steve so here's this. Robin wouldn't like Nancy not only because of all the Steve stuff, but because they simply do not vibe romantically.

Robin needs someone who will be able to smile and shrug off some of her rants or rambles or even find them endearing. Nancy needs to be alone for a while but in a partner someone is able to push back against her to challenge her and encourage her to her ambitions (this is something with Nancy robin I think would struggle with, with how Nancy was dismissive of Robin and her ideas, which might lead to insecurity for Robin) Robin is involved with people from the Upside Down, she's best friends with Steve, she obviously is familiar with Dustin and Erica and possibly Max. Nancy wanting distance from that aspect of her life wouldn't gel with the company Robin keeps.

I also think not wanting to risk hurting your friend or ruining your relationship with your best friend over a crush is completly legitimate reason for not pursuing a relationship (romo or not) of any kind. Like. jeez. God forbid you care what about your friends feel. It's frustrating when people treat that like it's a stupid reason when it's not!!

Robin wouldn't date Nancy because it may not ruin her relationship with Steve from Steve's side, but from hers. It'd make her question herself and what kind of friend she is. Would she want Steve to date an ex of hers that broke her heart? Even if she blamed herself for it? She wouldn't. Does she think Steve would ever do that? absolutely not, because Steve doesn't want to even risk hurting her. She values her friendship with Steve way more than a crush or a potential girlfriend. She's confident in their relationship far more than a fledgling romantic relationship. She doesn't want to even risk the chance of losing Steve, regardless if he says he's okay with her dating Nancy. Robin doesn't want to be the person who puts romance before her best friend, because she adores Steve, he's her person, they want to combine, and she knows Steve would never do that to her. It's Robin's choice! And I believe she would choose Steve.

Also, this one point is about shippers, it's sorta...super frustrating when so much of the reasoning of people wanting it to be canon prioritizes Nancy. Even when they try to make it about Robin it's about Nancy because it seems like they just. ignore that Robin's best friend is Steve, and that Nancy was annoyed by Robin rambling and being a bit Weird. different interpretations I guess but Nancy was jealous of Robin because of her closeness to Steve and also found her annoying! they got closer in the end and Nancy definitely respected her for the rant in the office, but she would still find those traits annoying. A lot of these points come from viewing r//ance as a potential canon ship when...it's not. (I think it is legitimately so hindering that a lot of shipping is about it being canon or whatever when no? it's just fun to explore a dynamic between characters! which is also why I don't get romo r//nce bc I think they'd have a really weird and kinda awkward relationship. which is fun and neat to explore even if it's messy!)

but still, it wouldn't happen in canon and that's fine!! it's okay to like fanon content! not everything has to be canon. and it's frustrating when people insist on there being a strong possibility of canon r//ance when there isn't. That's not a bad thing! It's just a thing! I'm sorry but based on what is going on with Robin and Vickie very likely being either in a relationship or on the cusp of one in s5, and everything going on between Nancy, jon, and Steve, there's no room for it. It wouldn't make sense to shoehorn it in when Vickie is literally Right There and smiling and enjoying being around Robin more than we saw Nancy being.

People doing this also insist it'd be good for Robin when really they just don't want Nancy to be with Steve or Jonathan and it's like yeah neither do I. I think Nancy should be single. Don't put that shit on Robin. Having them get together at the end is just not allowing Nancy time to be single and find herself and explore the big wide world, and not be tied to Hawkins. Nancy deserves a big post grad adventure without worrying about the upside down.

Let Robin have a cute redhead girlfriend who understands that sometimes she cannot stop her mouth but thinks she's funny and knows that she's gonna sometimes be Very Weird with Steve. Just because a character was created to be a love interest doesn't mean they cannot be interesting. Look at our boy Steve! He was initially supposed to be Nancy's jerk boyfriend who dies and look at him now. :')

Also. It'd be sooooo weird for Nancy there. Steve's her ex! Her gf being best friends with her ex would be weird for her!

and the argument that Vickie is boring is...like ok. more than one person is allowed to ramble when a bit fluster but okay. then so is Barb. She was also barely there. so is tommy. like. people are allowed to not like characters or like ships or whatever. But c'mon. Cut the girl some slack!

Vickie is an eveasdropper who wants to barg into stobin's weird thing. I believe she returned fast times stopped at fifty three minutes and whatever seconds on purpose to suss out if Robin got it. She got so distracted by complaining about her ex she over peanut butter two slices of bread. She thinks Steve is funny. She's a bit of a freak and I think if we continue to see more of her she'll fit nicely with stobin!

Literally I only think R0nance would potentially date in an au where steve and nancy never dated and robin and nancy did instead in a first teenage loves kind of way, but ended up being too different and prioritizing contrasting or conflicting things and realizing that they don't work as a couple. Like. Even there it doesn't really make sense to me? I mean I'm writing the post o66 au with that, the first teenage love r//ance because I do think that, given the right circumstances they would potentially fall in love. But I don't think it would last long term. They're too different about too many things to be compatible I guess.

Anyways yeah I can't vibe with Romo ships that have to disregard or ignore key factors of characters or their deep and loving platonic friendships with others. Sorry I wrote so much about this it probably makes no sense. Peace and love and remember stobin are platonic soulmates who are each other's number ones :)

#steve harrington #robin buckley #vickie stranger things #anti ronance #anti stancy #i guess? listen i didnt mean for this to be this way i just have lots of overlalping thoughts #and its late and im tired and i hate when people treat robin caring about steves feeling and wanting to avoid hurting him #as something inherently... idk. wrong? inserting a man in wlw relationships when. its just being kind to your friend. #plus robin made her relationships about steve long before fhey were friends so not out of character this time its because she loves him tho #findaanswers #anonasaurus #its not even thst i hate the ships i can and do enjoy a stancy fic once in a while its just. i love stobin most #and when romo ships are prioritized over their friendship i get annoyed. and rnce is a frequent perpetrator of this #finda's rambles #i also prefer canon divergent fics so in those for me rnce doesnt work off the bat. other idk i simply dont vibe with it #nancy wheeler #stobin #stranger things #stranger things meta

[uncanny-tranny]

Once I started being completely honest with myself about how I wanted my body to look and how I wanted to present, the clearer my path forward has become.

Now, instead of being blinded by traditional ideas of the masculine body, I'm embracing the masculine body I've always had. Even though it isn't "traditional," I have never felt more masculine and more secure in my maleness and also my place in the world.

This is why I so strongly recommend that people leave out as much societal pressure as they can when they think about what is best for themselves. It's unreasonable to ask people to completely leave society out of their decisions, I think, but doing that as much as you can where you are at currently is very freeing. It has taught me how to value myself and how to build my sense of self-worth.

#anti diet culture #bodily autonomy #advice #not sure how to tag this but!!! this is heavily inspired by anti diet culture!!! and is why i wanted to make this post :) #my thighs feel so muscular now because i'm embracing that this is what my *own* maleness is #and i won't pretend like i'm ~above society~ and am never influenced by my surroundings (because i am to a degree!) #but i want to do my best to learn how to prioritize my own drives and ambitions over the shallow ideas of what i 'should' do y'know #if you want to try this out: please do. you have nothing to lose but your chains. you are ALIVE

[susandsnell]

my hot take on Lizzie: the Musical is that the love story becomes infinitely more compelling the more actors/the production lean into Alice's flaws and selfishness rather than presenting her as some fragile little flower who's the voice of reason (tag novel below)

#lizzie the musical #alice ultimately prioritizes her own feelings and unhappiness over repressing her sexuality over lizzie's mental distress over her abuse #(which in fairness alice isn't really in any position to do anything about) #and she can be very sweet to the people she cares about but that doesn't negate/isn't negated by how she's putting her needs and wants firs #while also willingly being lizzie's refuge because she does love her #then in act 2 her turning on lizzie is. very understandable considering anyone would be scared shitless in her shoes #(whether either of the parents 'had it coming' or not your loved one snapping and committing gory murders is objectively terrifying) #(unless you're mrs. lovett which alice is. very much not though they share a selfishness) #and lizzie trying to use their love/sex to manipulate alice into perjuring for her - thus implicating her - is also obviously upsetting #add to that alice's words during the hearing + her overall proper lady schtick show she's drunk the edwardian patriarchal koolaid #'turn of the tables between me and you' is SO much in a lyric #anyway both of them are acting from a place of real suffering and real love and they're both wronging each other #and THAT is what real toxic yuri is all about #no one in this show is a good person. no one in this show (who is onstage) is an entirely bad person either. #everyone is acting from a place of oppression and pain and anguished love. they are all caged birds!

[champagnemoon]

I will never forget when one of my friends mothers told me to always put my health and beauty over everything especially my career and I thought she was crazy but….i get it now lmao

#my mother is very much a career woman by necessity so stressing about a job is ingrained in me basically #but the older I get the more I realize a lot of it is futile lmao #finessing your career and prioritizing feeling good >

[enii]

I am doing the best that I can💕

#illustration #artists on tumblr #cute #artoftheday #wholesome #digital illustration #sweet art #i m doing the best that i can #trying my best #i am doing my best #relatable art #art #artist #artist on tumblr #relatable #relatable illustration #sweet illustration #procreate #procreate art #not alone #mood #mood rn #it's okay to feel lost #it's okay not to be okay #it's okay to cry #artist of tumblr #i will be okay #everything will be okay #mental health awareness #prioritize your mental health

[to-be-a-dreamer]

And if I make a full post talking about how Abby, Shannon, and Taylor were actually really interesting and compelling characters that were just wildly mishandled by the writers and weren't allowed to fully explore their own motivations or personalities outside of being a love interest then what?

This is a threat.

#abby and learning how to prioritize herself after spending her entire life caring for other people at the expense of her own identity? #and realizing she's been doing it even in her relationship because she's literally been teaching this boy how to be a good partner #and that's not fair to her no matter how much she genuinely loves him and it really was just 'right person wrong time' #shannon and feeling so helpless and overwhelmed that the only thing she could think to do was run away #and even when she was ready to come back she was so ashamed of what she'd done and terrified she would never be forgiven #and she didn't have the courage to take the first step on her own but once she was given the chance she was ready to put in the work #taylor and prioritizing the truth over the comfort of others because so much of her life was spent being uncertain about her own family #and learning too late that the truth and your career don't matter if you keep hurting the people you care about #and maybe she learns to be better but she already burned that bridge and your personal growth doesn't undo the hurt you caused #i have so many thoughts about the FLEET of women who were done dirty by fox not allowing them to be independent characters #before they tried to make them a love interest #911 #911 abc #911 fox #abby clark #shannon diaz #taylor kelly

[elftwink]

been learning to play ironsworn (gritty fantasy ttrpg which you can play with a gm but is mostly suited for solo or small group co-op gmless play) after having the rulebook pdf for several years (stars finally aligned to remove invisible thing blocking me from reading it idk) because i'm on another solo ttrpg kick & i don't know what took me so long to get around to this game because it genuinely is exactly what i was looking for. years ago when i was playing through solo 5e modules i should have just been playing ironsworn (believe it or not, 5e isn't very suited to solo play and is extremely clunky when you try lol).

also though i have dabbled in some other solo ttrpgs, a considerable amount of them are journaling games which is fun but imo considerably more work (usually by the time i'm a quarter of the way through the journal entry, i know how to entire scene played out and i want to move on to the next gameplay thing, so i get frustrated and bored quickly. it feels like when you solve a level in a video game but don't have the coordination to pull off the necessary move so you have to spend 20 extra minutes doing something you already figured out), so i really appreciate like not needing to write something for the game to progress (ive been taking notes for my own record since im playing solo and thus am not really out loud roleplaying the way you do in a group, but i definitely could do that instead and not take notes and the game would still function perfectly)

& ive been playing by myself but also in the past ive played a lot of ttrpgs in very small groups which has been other games but is mostly dnd and like. we also should have been playing ironsworn so that having a gm was not necessary. have definitely played games where we had to adapt the rules soooo much to do something that is just base game included in ironsworn. plus it's rules-light enough to do pretty complex moves that pose difficulties in bulkier games (ever introduced someone to dnd and they tell you they want to do a sick backflip and catch something and then attack and you have to tell them that will require several different consecutive rolls and some creative liberties with how the rules are 'supposed' to let you move? you can just Do That in ironsworn. use the strike move and describe it. done!)

the one thing is that although it's rules-light enough to theoretically play any setting or genre (some with more difficulty than others), ive found so far that like... the grittiness and sense of threat is very built into the mechanics so that would be sort of difficult to work around or change (but i think it's great from a game design perspective). what i mean is like, okay: you start with 5 max hp. there isn't really a way to raise this max hp, you just slowly gain abilities (assets) that make you less likely to have to lose the hp in the first place, or that make it easier to recover. when you encounter foes, you rank them on a scale of 1 -5, and enemies on the lowest side of this scale do one harm to you, while enemies on the highest side do five harm to you. so even though encountering an epic enemy won't always be deadly due to the assets you have, they are ALWAYS capable of taking you down to 0 hp with one good hit. so the feeling of threat is much more present compared to games where your character starts to be able to just tank and push through a failure or huge threat.

admittedly also i'm playing solo, im still learning how to balance combat, and also i built a character who has NO combat talents and iron (the close quarters fighting stat) is one of my lowest stats so i personally am under much more threat than if you built a character who knew how to fight or who could do deadly harm. but also the other thing about combat is it's extremely difficult to maintain control of the fight; you have to score a strong hit to do it on basically all moves, and there's a really limited pool of moves available when you don't have the initiative, and obviously none of them really favour you. i don't know that this makes combat genuinely more difficult, but it does make you feel like the fight is always about to spiral out of your control. every second you let it drag without decisive action feels like it brings you closer to dying. like i said, this is a feature of the game design and not a problem in any way. just thinking about it because when i was initially learning i was going to try to supplant it into a homebrew fantasy world of my own but the tone just wouldn't be right. and that it is somewhat difficult to replicate the kind of worlds that i typically play or run for dnd, which tend to lean somewhat sillier and definitely much higher fantasy

but i like to try new things and tbh especially in dnd i find that i very rarely feel that sense of threat and when i do feel it, it has nothing at all to do with the actual mechanics and reality of the combat and everything to do with how well the dm sells it to me and makes it sound and feel scary and dangerous. which is a testament to what a good gm can do for you but i do appreciate the threat feeling more built-in and also being actually real.

#good idea generator #kas plays ironsworn #am giving it a tag because i will continue to talk about this. its my blog #idk i just find in dnd like. players often FEEL threatened WAY before they actually are threatened #which makes it really hard to balance combat because players treat evenly matched fights like hopeless death traps #so instead they do underleveled combat that feels boring for some hard to pin down reason #but like. the reason is even though you're nervous about the dm's description and the things the monsters can do #there is no real threat. especially in bigger parties where the players DOMINATE action economy. they are always in control #so of course it gets boring. it drags out so everyone can take their turn but it never forces you to make difficult choices #or to totally exhaust all your abilities. after awhile the combats start to feel same-y #because even if the monster is different. you never have to do anything different to defeat it #ofc this is a subjective assessment and also if youre reading this and we play dnd together this is not a gripe abt our table i love u #i think it's really easy to get trapped doing this esp in tables which like rp more than combat #because its also like. once you're used to a certain balance of combat if your dm suddenly threw you a big one #you assume that this is a uniquely large threat in the narrative as well (rather than a rebalancing attempt) #and treat it accordingly. which is to say with way too much caution because it isnt actually that big of a threat #so then as a dm when you have to maintain the feeling of threat and the mechanical threat #(especially when sometimes the mechanical line between 'cakewalk' and 'tpk' is razor thin #and is more about the initiative order and luck than anything else) #you start to prioritize the feeling of threat. which is imo the right call always #but its just after awhile when you feel the threat but nothing ever happens to anybody. the dissonance starts to affect the table #also balancing dnd combat as a dm is really hard and often requires a LOT of on the fly adaptation #because sometimes the CR is useless and you don't know how it's gonna do until the dice are on the table already #anyway. my point is that im enjoying how ironsworn handles this problem

[videoviolence]

stupid thing to complain about but in the internet hemisphere it sucks when you hear someone say they like "slasher movies" and you know inevitably that 9 times out of 10 it will never mean anything more then they like scream or the big three or black christmas . because other slasher movies from that decade that deserve the limelight just dont have the same, idk, 'yaoi' appeal or characters that fandoms can strip of their main source to project whatever they want onto them . like maniac or pieces or blood rage or edge of the axe or the burning or mortuary or whatever will never be That popular or ever mean anything in "slasher fandom" spaces cuz theres just no audience for it . it sucks that you have to really seek these convos out & all that artistry and passion goes down th drain .

#and this is not me like . actively shaming people for headcanons or shipping or whatever else but I feel like if you Prioritize that #over the actual story & character studies & other technical aspects of movies that could be celebrated . im gonna side eye you #just because 'fandom' as a mindset has become the go-to consumable method of watching Any movie without having to turn your brain on #idk it sucks . and this is Obviously a bigger issue then just in slasher tumblr spaces because then it leads to alot of people who get like #viscerally upset when horror movies of that time deliver on horrifying concepts just because theyre getting their safe bubble popped #that protects them and only permits them to see these Fleshed Out Characters as nothing more then bait for imagines or ship fodder . #instead of fucked up people . and not mischaracterized x reader's #AND I LIKE BLACK CHRISTMAS AND THE BIG THREE ETC ETC ofc i do . this is not me shaming these movies for their understandable popularity #its just disheartening more then anything lol #hudson.txt