#probably why I’ve got cats on my brain atm | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

black-rose-writings · 3 years

Text

I read Ruin and Rising because I’m bored

And I also hate myself

Like with the last book, I have a vague idea of the plot and stuff from tumblr and fanfics. I will also be refering to Darkling as Sasha for most of this.

I am still Darklina trash and don’t particularly like Mal.

On a different note, I’ve finally moved for college, but the internet here is trash, so I’ll probably have a lot more reading time now, since most games I play are online and will crash without internet.

Before

Cool story. Let’s hope Alina stays a badass.

Who am I joking, I know how this ends.

Chapter 1

So far so good. I hate the Apparat, per usual. Alina’s there basically dying and that bitch can’t wait to see her do so.

Cult leader to the core this one. He probably hates that his figurehead is alive and also not brainwashed.

Cult leader doesn’t like swearing. How surprising.

My boy David is completely right. What kind of irresponsible dingus keeps centuries old books in a fucking wet-ass cave? (Or a tree for that matter *cough cough* The Last Jedi *cough, cough*).

Genya is fun to be around.

Oh, shit, let’s go.

Chapter 2

Jesus Christ, Alina, Zoya isn’t that bad.

This is one hell of a shitshow.

I live for this version of Alina. Badass. Scary. I want more of this Alina.

Chapter 3

Out of all the random little details from crappy smut fics, I did not expect Oncat to be from the books, lol.

Mal actually has a supernatural tracking ability. Like, literally, they put a bug into the pouch with gunpowder so he could make the shot. I guess this was kinda said before, but never this directly, right?

Alina’s merzost-skyping Sasha now, yay.

Alina is horny for Sasha boy. Yay.

Alina canonically has a praise kink. Nice.

I hate LB with all of my heart at this very moment. How dare she bait us Darklina people like this? How DARE she? (Shipbaiting is the worst, seriously.)

Yes, yes, yes. These two lines. That’s what their relationship is all about. They’re each others foils, the yin to the other’s yang and... ugh. I am Darklina trash to the core and this hurts.

Darklina: You have a terrible taste in men.

Alina: I liked you once.

My boy Sasha walked into that one.

Chapter 4

Alina is a Queen. And we love her.

David, my beloved, my spirit animal.

It’s surprising they can read it at all, given it’s been centuries. Have you ever tried reading medieval manuscripts?

Honestly, with a father that crazy, it’s no wonder Baghra’s a bitch. And I’ve seen it said somewhere that the books imply Ilya’s experiments are what caused Baghra to be a shadow summoner and you know what? I can see how you’d make that connection.

Why is there so few Tidemakers in the books? Waterbenders are useful. I want more waterbenders.

Alina picking up some habits from Baghra I see.

Ah, yes, we love an educated giant.

I’m starting to think Harshaw is a bit nuts.

Shut up, Hershey. Or at least share the weed with the class. I’m not here for this “He’s mean to you because he likes you”. I might believe that in like, elementary school, but yall are (more or less) adults. Jesus.

Well, that was a bombshell of a twist.

Chapter 5

Oh boy, we’ve got some trauma bonding for out merry band of misfits. Yay.

Adrik has a crush on Zoya. And she hates it, lol. Cut the kid some slack, he’s like 15 or something.

That reminds me, I have a four-leaf clover pressed in books from close to year and a half ago. Time flies.

They’re really diving into the Mal has supernatural powers, huh?

Ghosts, let’s go.

Alina “I’m so happy to be outside I start to shine like a fucking fairy” Starkov and Mal is entranced. He’s definitelly nicer now. I’m not forgiving him for all the shit he’s pulled before and for using the silent treatment way too much, but hey, at least he’s improving.

I am not a Zoyalina person, but like... gay? Please? Rivals to grudging allies to friends to lovers, 300k slowburn? Sounds more fun than whatever Mala dn Alina have going on, lol.

(I’m starting to realize I’m not as much a Darklina person as I am anti-Malina person, lol. Like, literally everyone has a more interesting dynamic with Alina than tracker boy over there. Malina is at best boring AF and at worst toxic, codependent and emotionally abusive, while also being boring AF at the same time. It has literally nothing going for it except God herself liking it).

I can see why Nadia is gay in the show. The book version of her definitelly has a crush on Tamar. Homegirl likes a woman, who can murder her with the flick of her wrist and honestly? Same.

Alina has some big “coming out of lockdown after a year” energy atm.

The cat is one of the most realistic characters in this thing, lol.

And since Tamar is also heavily queercoded, our lovely ladies make off into the night, flirting. Or maybe not. Let me dream, though.

At least Blade Boy is aware that his tattoo is stupid. To quote someone ranting about him on tumblr: He’s embracing his identity as a tool.

Oh, boy, this will be fun.

Evil soldier is horny for Mal. Saints, is there a woman in this book who isn’t horny for Blade Boy?

And here comes Niki to save the day.

Chapter 6

Niki saved the day.

Fiberglass? And David being David. Genya being in love with her nerd of a boyfriend.

Jesus Christ, this one crazy kid has moved the technology in this universe a whole century on his own. So, when is David going to propose to him?

Baghra hasn’t changed much I see.

Baghra’s about to drop some truthbombs, but no, we have to be rudely interupted because Genya’s rapist is throwing a fit.

Chapter 7

How does Mal sound? Is she gonna say the Blade boy sounds like her dad? I mean, I know voices are partially genetic, but it has been tens of generations between them, probably.

So, we’re finally taking Genya’s trauma seriously after all this time? Good. Better late than never, I guess.

I wish that regicide was already finished and I’m pretty sure that Genya does, too. Stop defending the fucking king, narrative.

David’s a nerd in all things I see.

Someone please just kill the king already. And the queen, too, for good measure.

Now that’s a romance.

Infodumping and listening to said infodumps is a legitimate love language, Alina. Let them nerd out over poisons.

Wait, has Alina never directly killed anyone before? I thought she did... hmmm.

And just like that, it should have been over. Ugh.

Somehow, Baghra is a better teacher now than she was before. She half feels like a completely different character.

Nevermind, she’s back at it.

Chapter 8

Holy shit, Nadia and Tamar are canon. They have canon gays here.

So, which one of them is gonna die?

Chapter 9

We arrive at that scene. The one, where they should have fucked.

Jeez, girl, get a hold of yourself. Life is short, fuck a villain.

In other news, Genya and David definitelly fucked.

Chapter 10

Poor David. He just wanted to know.

Damn... I never realized just how young Baghra was, when she killed her sister.

I’ve already made a post about this, but it really does strike me like Baghra has already decided to end her life at this point in the book.

Why is that whole “but what if we’re related” thing even in there?

Chapter 11

We love a suprise attack.

When did Sasha boy learn that trick?

Baghra really just did that. Oh boy.

Chapter 12

No, don’t kill the kid... ugh.

Emotiona support cat. She should be friends with Milo.

Porrige for brains. Oof.

So Nadia was the one, who got bees set on her in the book. Cool.

That’s a good question. Why was it never brought up to Alina, that other Grisha get blocks, too?

David already thinking of steampunk prosthetic for Adrik is honestly kinda sweet.

Chapter 13

Back home... kinda.

Is that really... you really care about Mal bonking the Grisha school mean girl over a year ago? Okay.

Chapter 14

Angst! Yay!

And more angst.

Chapter 15

Sasha really went “My mom killed herself to save you? Well, I’ll kill the closest thing to parents you have.”

Chapter 16

Nikolai’s alive. Kinda.

And these two have such a sibling energy, I can’t.

And then they fuck. Ew.

Chapter 17

Wait, wait wait... so Alina isn’t even the one to destroy the Fold?

Okay. That’s... weird.

Holy shit. That was...

So, Aleksander is dead. Mal isn’t. Someone else destroyed the Fold for Alina and now she has no powers.

Okay.

That’s a weird-ass ending.

Chapter 18

The gays survived, so that’s nice.

Genya made good on her promise of making Alina a ginger, lol.

After

What emotion is this supposed to give me? Cause all I feel is kinda sad.

#shadow and bone #grishaverse #ruin and rising #book review #alina starkov #darkling #darklina

17 notes · View notes

mallowstep · 3 years

Note

I’m thinking about writing a short OC piece about Windclan and I’d love to see your notes about its culture and the hymns you’ve written so far, everything you’ve done for Windclan appreciation month has really inspired me :)

hello anon!

alright, first things first: please send me ur piece when ur done if you're comfortable doing so! i will publish it from you, or if you don't want to be associated with it in Any Way, i will also just read it and add it to the queue with no indication why it's there. or if you don't want me to share it at all, i'd still like to read it.

as for your ask,

hymns?

i'm working on it. however, underneath the read more, i'll include a few snippets for u.

culture

alright, i'm just going to post links with some commentary as i go. feel free to ask any more questions you have.

windclan (search) | windclan (tag) | wcam tag | five clans (narrative essays)

i would link the elders den, but there's no windclan stories in there ATM.

moving on, i'm just going to go through posts in reverse chronological order.

tallstar taking a mate admittedly, this is more about cats and sexuality than windclan, but i provide the commentary that windclan...has a particular view on sexuality and fluidity. one thing i haven't explored but should is the role visiting cats have in windclan.

whoops that's a code word, my plug for solacefruit has been activated. okay, as you may be aware, based on the fact that i have a whole tag for it, i'm obsessed with solacefruit. now, i love everything they do, but i would like to point you particularly to "make a mighty sound" for a fantastic exploration of this idea.

i don't want to spoil anything, but i do think windclan, and maybe cats as a whole, but windclan has a certain view towards relationships that very much breaks them into pieces. i'm a "love is a verb" person, so the idea that you can grow to love someone romantically by going through the actions of love makes sense. not to say you will, but you can.

(to be clear i'm not out advocating for arranged marriages just saying that they can work, they're not destined to be bad, and there's a difference between forced marriage and arranged marriage.)

anyway.

this was a lot of words to say, cats do not have a human (and particularly, western/american) understanding of relationships, which makes analyzing them in those terms difficult.

early hymn talk i'll probably say more below, but it is here.

general ibtwicm notes might get you into the headspace for some of my choices in ibtwicm.

i don't have a ton to say because this pretty much all holds, but uh, yeah.

poetry and language this isn't strictly about windclan, but it does explain some of what i think about when writing hymns.

obviously, i'm writing english translations, but these general themes are what i have in mind. it's also part of why i say i don't think i'll ever release a "full hymnal" for windclan, because i don't know if my weak worldbuilding heart could take it if i only had translations.

names part two very much not about windclan, but just some thoughts on names. as i've said before, i support all names and worldbuilding equally, but if you want my thoughts on names, go buckwild.

clan culture fic rec list just stuff i think does a good job, if you want other sources of inspiration.

general clan culture notes this is really old, but it mostly holds.

i've obviously expanded a lot on windclan since i wrote it, so shrug? idk man.

alright, i'm going to move into hymn discussion below the cut, but best of luck! and i hope u have a good time. it makes my brain shut down to read that i inspired you, straight up got brain juice pouring out of my ears, but i'm really, really happy to hear that.

windclan holds a special place in my heart. (i know my oc avatar is from skyclan shhh it's because of the backstory he sees ghosts.) but i grew up in this super sporty household as a lil asthmatic klutz, and running was a sport i couldn't mess up, so of course windclan appealed to me.

they're actually third on my list of favorite clans, but they. it's a special place in my heart that they hold, especially after reading dawn of the clans and moth flight's vision, where i got an asthmatic cat and an adhd cat, both in windclan.

god i should reread dotc it's good.

alright, here's the deal on hymns: i am not going to fight to get duets to post correctly. there's a 0% chance i can in tumblr's wonky ass new editor with no markdown, not to mention how difficult it would have been in the old editor. so i'm going to talk a lil about what i've got, and post some stanzas that i think don't get explored a lot in ibtwicm.

we're discussing these in the order that they go in. a reminder that these are all sections of one epic poem. that said, i don't know where the gaps are. like, i don't know what's between these, if that makes sense.

the wind

the wind, the very first hymn. this is an ode to, well, windclan. it's a song about everything that makes them them. it's filled with poetry about the wind, about the seasons, and it's just...well, it's a bit of a genesis, in a way.

The wind — like the rain, like the river — calls the name of each star in its breath. The wind — like the earth, like the stone — anchors us to our home. The wind — like the sun, like the sky — is knowable only by name.

i wanted to share this stanza because the last line doesn't show up in ibtwicm (at least so far, i cut the reference), and it really, really, makes a difference imo.

anyway, windclan is basically tying the wind in with every other fundamental part of their life here.

they are the wind, and that's that.

the hare

okay, this one has a line that comes up a lot in ch1, but i already talked about that, so instead, i'm going to talk about this stanza

Speak of the earth and the dens, and you will be answered: By the call of the howling gales, the open earth singing in response. But speak of that which grows above, of the grass and field, And you will be answered by the softness of the buds and the roots.

okay, we get deadfoot thinking about this when he's talking to yellowfang.

i like this stanza because it really tells us what the hare is about. now, hares are not something windclan catches. hares are huge, y'all, there's no way they take one down. i take liberties with ecology, but not that many.

(i.e., a team of cats definitely could take one down, but i know too much, and would prefer letting team hunting stay a plot thing, and not fundamentally alter the environment in the way it would.)

now anyway, all of these hymns come from the time of the tunnelers. and the point of this is, even though the work of tunnelers and moor runners is disconnected, they fundamentally affect each other.

a moor runner must trust the hollows of the earth beneath them won't collapse, and a tunneler must trust that the prey they chase up will be caught.

it's all very symbiotic and is, well, in a way, a love poem. plus i really like the line "the open earth singing in response"

of the warrens

so this has one line, one you might not even know is a hymn, in ch1, but i'll share the whole stanza.

And as for the subject of fallow fields: Fallowed fields make for hungry prey, Yet hungry prey makes desperate rabbits, Who leap into our claws.

and ig my big point is, the hymns are a cultural artifact. just like many of the rules in the old testament have to do with hygiene things being codified into religion, this whole hymn is about hunting advice.

the moon on the river

okay, out of all the hymns, this is the most complete, and because ashfoot and deadfoot sing it together, and deadfoot discusses it, i only have one stanza to share.

Under the coldness, you shine back at me, And I do everything to keep the clouds from threatening you.

now, this poem is about love, grief, and being separated. it's a particular kind of grief, and windclan discourages grief, so this is one of only a few ways to really, fully express it.

and this section, in particular, is about love in times of hardship.

i don't have. a lot to say here. but the way hardship changes how you love someone can be particular and intense.

(temporarily, this happens sometime before "Spare for my chosen few / All I have is given towards the distant ground.")

the gorse in the wind

oh shit! i have so fucking much to say okay first.

the series title does not come from this hymn.

second, this is a challenging hymn okay. fuck. i have so much to say. where to start so! moors are actually relatively wet. think british countryside, not, like, a cool desert.

this is something i always knew? i read the secret garden a lot as a kid. but. i've seen stuff about moors being dry, and it's just one of those things that really...starts to eat under your skin. anyway.

okay, so. gorse is a dry plant. it does not like rain. it grows in sandy soil, etc etc, and yet. aside from everything we know about gorse and warriors, it also grows in this moor. because i say so.

okay, so. so so so. the lines quotes here are really deceptive, and i bet no one understood why, and that makes me just a little sad, but i couldn't find a good way to explain it in text, so uh, yeah, anyway. there's an exchange between ashfoot and deadfoot: "THE GORSE: You called me the heather and I grew stronger. / THE WIND: I called you the heather and brought rain for you to grow."

so...so do you see? do you see the point? it's about communication, needs, challenging each other. fadskj;l i love this. okay, so. the point is that heather is fragile, soft, pretty, and gorse is the opposite. the part of the wind is trying to be kind and complimentary, but the gorse is saying, fuck that, you are not being kind to me by undercutting my strength.

anyway, this passage is sung by the gorse:

In what good company have I set down roots, That even through snow fall I flower. You called me the heather and yet I've weathered, Far more than your sweet-named love.

so uh, yeah, this adds context. gorse! gorse is a hardy plant that continues to flower basically all season round. it's cool. it's cool. gorse is super cool. fuuuck y'all it's such a small thing and i've contained talking about it until now, but now it's too much. the floodgates are open, and i thought about this small detail too much.

okay. deep breath. gorse is a really easy plant to grow, but it's still adapted for dry environments. so the "even through snow fall I flower" part is a little tongue in cheek: gorse itself will flower in the cold, but snow is a type of precipitation, which as we've covered, is not gorse friendly.

then we have some rhyming and puns in the next line, and finally, "yet I've weathered, / Far more than your sweet-named love." like. yes. love as a form of softness is not necessarily helpful.

i mean, consider the damaging "soft trans boi" problem. same energy.

right. okay. so we've got all that? now if you remember, this is sung when deadfoot thinks ashpaw doesn't respect him, and ashpaw says she'll sing with him if she can sing the gorse, so in essence, she's telling him...not to back off, per se, but that...she is the "hard part" of the relationship. like, okay, i refuse to even bring up gender roles in human relationships, but uh, her point is very much, "i am the gorse, and you are the wind," and it's a very monumental moment.

it's anchored, i believe, in the other scenes, but this is a small thing that matters a lot to me.

like a lot.

okay, now that i've talked about like four lines for the length of this entire post, moving on.

the heather and earth

okay, this is the last hymn i have in concrete terms, and i cut a bit of it from the latest chapter, so yeah. it's also, uh, okay everything i have for it is only a line or two, but i wanted to share this closing line (sung together):

Sing a song of forgiveness, of growing together, and we will make madness, And madness from hence will everything beautiful grow.

and i just like these lines. they got cut, it was initially part of an exchange between ashfoot and deadfoot, but i can't share the part of it they talk about, because i'm reusing it for a later chapter and i'll 100% spoil shit if i try to talk about it.

but these lines? mmm they speak to me.

i don't have a ton to say about them, but i just. i like it.

if we apply the same ecology discussion from the gorse and the wind, we see heather is a plant that grows in acidic, infertile soil, and heath (which is not the same as a heather, but also kind of is) is a defining quality of heathland, which is...i'm not kidding, it's hot discourse about the difference between moorland and heathland.

i'm not getting involved, but my point is, if the gorse in the wind is a hymn about finding a working relationship, about mutual respect, etc., then the heather and earth is a hymn about working well together in a terrible situation.

god.

uh, wow! can you tell i like plants? because while parts of my ecology are dubious (see: everything regarding the rabbits in ch1), the plants part are well thought out. this shit is carefully detailed metaphor.

and that's why i won't be releasing a full hymnal. it's hard to as on top of this as i want to be. i'm not kidding, writing even four lines of a hymn usually takes me about twenty minutes, because i pull up a lot of research about how things work, how they interact with each other, etc., and then there's wordsmithing, cat worldview filter, etc.

but i hope this overview of what i've got is a good insight into my general thoughts. and i will eventually release more and more of the hymns i've got written.

#ask #anon #mine #txt #windclan #wcam #essay #long #warriors #warriors worldbuilding #windclan hymn project #mateo fanboying over solacefruit again

9 notes · View notes

deeeelightfuldee · 3 years

Text

Your ex taps you on the shoulder and says, “I still love you.” You say? ooooof. I don’t think i’d buy that. I hardly think people who DO show they have feelings for me are being truthful, so I doubt that.

Do you play video games? haven’t in some time, but I want to get back into it a little.

Do you spend a lot of time with family? oh heck yeah. I have a really great family.

Is your house more than two stories tall? nah, it’s the two stories with a basement.

Have you ever hit your significant other? Has he/she ever hit you? I will never raise my hands to another human being. I once dated someone who was a veteran and had severe ptsd. we were napping one time and he got aggressive. that wasn’t HIM though.

What makes you an attractive person? (Talk about your personality too!) physically, I suppose I have nice eyes and a decent smile. personality wise, I am warm, friendly, loving, supportive, sometimes funny, very loyal.

What color is your hairbrush/comb? depends which one I use. I have a pink one right now.

What snacks do you have available in your household atm? I honestly haven’t got a clue. I haven’t been let out of my room in 2 weeks.

Has anyone recently told you that they like you, or find you attractive? yes. it’s weird.

Are you attracted to the last person you Facebook messaged? DEF not. he has been asking me out since we worked together maybeeeee.. 8-9 years ago?

Do you care about anyone that doesn’t care about you? yes! I am trying to learn how to undo that. it’s not that I don’t want to care about him, but I know and can soooooooo clearly see that he doesn’t care anymore, and it is extremely emotionally draining to watch.

Was your last Facebook friend requests from a male or female? I wanna say female but idk

Which one of your relatives is most likely to embarrass you? scott

When was the last time you ate a bar of chocolate? couple days ago.

Do you play any games on Facebook? Nope.

What would you like to get a degree in? I have two degrees -- one in psych and one in SLP.

Do you wake up a lot in the middle of the night? ahahahaha yes. almost always wide awake from 3-6

Would you prefer to read a book, watch a movie or TV show, or play a video game? typically more in the movie/show or book mood.

Do you usually get popcorn or soda at the movie theater? Both. nothing like that buttery, salty goodness that obvs requires an enormous drink

What genre of films do you like the best? either make me EXTREMELY sad, or romantic.

How many bank accounts do you have? 2

Have you ever had the flu? Yeah.

What is your goal for the next few months? i have several. the only one that can/will be public right now, is to get my lungs back to functioning as they were.

Have you ever had some kind of sleep-disorder? How did it affect your life? yes. I have very bad breathing during sleep. I have had 11 sleep studies done, because my breathing will just stop randomly, which luckily my brain wakes me. it doesn’t really affect my like severely.. I function normally. but shoooooot, if I got normal levels of sleep i’d be a force to be reckoned with.

Have you ever had food poisoning before? Describe the experience. Yes. It was AWFUL. vomiting for 2 days straight. it was so gross.

Funny, charming, cute, romantic, smart - choose only 2 for the opposite sex. smart and romantic.

Have you ever let somebody use you? Why did you do it? hmm. I think there have been times where i’ve let people have more access to me than they should have had. or there have definitely been times I’ve been used in school groups. But honestly, I tend to be protective of myself. I stop when I feel enough is enough.

You can go back in time & change something in your mom’s past - what is it? I would want either Bill to not die, or for her to be spoiled incessantly by someone else.

Do you know anybody who is around the exact same size as you? Who? psh. no. my friends are all tiny which is just not fun.

Ever been to a haunted house? How scared were you? Yeah. i found it so fun.

Been on any websites today you wouldn’t want your parents to see? ahahahaha no.

Which is worse: dusting or mopping? mopping. i hate doing the floors.

Did you pull a senior prank? Not really advised when a homeschooler.

Did you graduate? Yes. that was a rough, rough day.

Have you ever been unfaithful in a serious relationship? Nope

What was the last song you listened to? i think it was Happier than Ever by billie eilish. the lyrics are ... woof.

Are you one of those lucky people with 20/20 vision? 20/12 -- the last time I had insurance anyway.

Is fashion one of your interests? honestly, if I had money, it would be. but it isnt right now.

Do you think you’ll eventually find that special someone? It’s getting harder and harder to believe that will be the case. I knowwwww I need to start dating, but every time I go to open up an app, I hesitate and chicken out. I just was so happy before.. its hard to think I could be able to offer anything to anyone right now.

Do you care what people think? veryyyyyy few people. I care about the thoughts of those I genuinely love and respect. However, I still ensure I’m protecting myself regardless.

Is acting something you enjoy? No.

What was the last thing you broke/sprained? I have a bum knee, so I sprain that from time to time. I last broke a finger.

Have you ever fought with a friend because of their boyfriend/girlfriend? Because of yours? ahahahaha yes. but years ago. never because of mine.

Has a stranger ever yelled at you for your language? No. I don’t cuss.

Whose house, other than yours and your families’, are you most comfortable at? probably either nathan’s or em’s.

Has any of your friends’ family ever yelled at you? alix’s family used to yell at me a lot for being fat. that used to mess me up.

Did you ever play a sport as a little kid? Did you enjoy it? soccer. no, i found the endless running to be unnecessary.

Did you ever watch the show Full House? yup

Is there a celebrity you are just DETERMINED to marry? no, thats so out-of-touch with reality

Have you ever burned someone’s picture? yes, i have.

What’s the longest hike you’ve ever been on? i think it was 8 hours. I hate hate hate hikes. But, thats because I have really weak lungs, so my doctor says it’s like lighting them on fire.

Would you ever get a lip tattoo? No.

Who is the first person of the opposite sex that pops into your head? kile

Do your parents smoke cigarettes? my mom hasn’t since a teenager. I think my dad does still. though, i dunno for certain.

What does one of your T-shirts have written on it? uhhhh, PTK honors society

Name a pet you definitely wouldn’t want. Any reptile or insect. <<<< same

Would you prefer your partner smaller or taller? Taller.

Do you enjoy going through old pictures? Yes. very much so.

Do you believe people when they say they don’t judge people? No, i respect people who are truthful saying they either try not to judge, or that they do judge despite their desire to stop.

What did you love the most about the town you grew up in? sooooooo much. it’s small town-y, quiet, safe, lots of trees, family close by.

What’s a movie you cried the hardest during? ps i love you will always shatter my heart.

What’s your favorite restaurant? buona or ashford

Is there a dessert you don’t like? im not wild about pastries.

What’s a book that you read because everyone else was reading it? hmmm maybe that one mrs. pettigrews home for peculiar children.

Underwater or outer space? i’m fascinated by both. typically more interested in the water.

Dogs or cats? both. all of them.

Kittens or puppies? kittens.

Bird watching or whale watching? whales!!!!!!!!

What was your best subject in school? in HS probably history. or science. in college, psych or neuro.

What was your worst subject in school? Math. always freakin’ math.

What is one thing you wish you knew in high school? Uhhh. hm. i don’t think anything. I liked my experience.

Who is your fashion icon? nada.

Diamonds or pearls? Both are nice. I love pearl stud earrings and I really want a simple, one pearl necklace. I am kinda ruined for diamonds for some time. My favorite rings and necklace were diamonds from kile and I just cant bring myself to wear those anymore.

What color dress did you wear to prom? pink

Honestly, are you jealous of someone right now? oh sure. I am envious of those with bangin’ bods. I’m envious of those who have great finances. I am envious of those who live life married to their love. I’m envious of people who see kile regularly. But there are difficulties that come with any of those situations.

Honestly, when was the last time you REALLY cried your heart out? not long ago. the whole crushing reality of losing kile just destroyed me. I’m OK now.

Do you need to return anyone’s phone call? ahahahahah. I just reject all calls.

Who are you closest to? My mom and nathan rn.

Have you ever had a bad concert experience? no

Are you currently sad about anything? several things have recently been really saddening, but I’m ok. Ill get thru it.

Have you had any form of exercise today? Its going to be some time before I’m cleared for that. I almost faint from taking a shower and I have to be on oxygen after doing the one flight of stairs.

Can you handle blood? doesn’t bother me at all.

Has any place hired you underage for a job? yes. I mean technically, I was legal to work in that I was 17, but the company didn’t want to hire younger than 18.

Have you ever carried a concealed weapon? not like in public, but at a house or gun range, yes.

Are you currently searching for a job? soon.

Does eating breakfast make you sick? i’m never ever ever hungry for it. I know i should, but its the worst. I don’t even like breakfast foods.

1 note · View note

narniadreams · 3 years

Text

hello !! i’m doing some tags

tagged by my dear eysha @lucypcvensie <3

rules: bold what you prefer!

tea or hot chocolate? cozy books or halloween movies? plaid or corduroy? foggy mornings or twinkly nights? orange or black? pumpkin or apple pie? wool or velvet? picking fruit or carving pumpkins? libraries or coffee shops? cinnamon or peanut butter? spooky or cozy halloween? candles or fairy lights?

tagged by @c0ffeebee (thank you for tagging and i hope you’re doing alright <3) @westernwoods (hi maddie i luv ur blog!!) @bloodybigwardrobe (YES im glad u enjoy reading my tags on your work!!) @athoughtfox (thank you for tagging me! as always i hope you’re well)

Last Song: soldier, poet, king by the oh hellos

Last Movie: i watched the beginning of Avatar last night, before that, i watched Mockingjay pt.1 together with my mom a few days ago <3

3 Ships: i love me some casmund, hijack and reigisa

Currently Watching: tv series? nothing; i’ve been meaning to catch up with a few animes i’ve started but never finished ;;

Currently Reading: recently finished re-reading the complete hunger games trilogry !! perhaps i will order some books and start something completely new soon

Currently Consuming: nothing

Currently Craving: some rest and calmness in my brain and heart, hugs and spending time with my friends, creativity and inspiration !! i also want some cold water lol

i was tagged by @sangeluine (thank you!! and i really enjoyed reading your answers <3)

nickname: nobody really uses nicknames for me atm except for my mom (bless her)

zodiac: taurus baby <3

height: 163 cm. i think that’s about 5′2 feet?

last thing i googled: '’how much blood do you lose from losing an ear’’ um..... i’m trying to write a book... yea...

song stuck in my head: atm i’ve moved on from the oh hellos to the still life album from haruka nakamura

number of followers: a whole lot more than i deserve probably

amount of sleep: recently i’ve been having sleeping problems again, so i’d say about six hours at most (which is still okay)

dream job: i.... don’t know. i want to be so many things. a movie director, a writer, a photographer, i also want to work at an animal shelter. or teacher. just, i have no idea..

wearing: tbh i’m still in my pyjamas hahaha

when i created this account: 2011!!! almost ten year anniversiry baby !!

why i made this account: an old friend of mine kept sending me cool gifs and photos on this old forum we used to talk on. i asked her where she got them from one day and she told me it was from tumblr. now here i am almost ten years later ahahha

favorite song: i usually answer the call by regina spektor but as of late, i’ve really been enjoying never mine by choutokkyuu

favorite instrument: i feel like i am obligated to say violin (because i play that) but i also love harp and guitar

aesthetic: all over the place? it depends on my mood honestly. i’d say usually i’m sort of a mix between vintage/thrift/art/grunge ???

favorite author: obviously i love cs lewis. and i’d say brian selznick as well.

favorite animal noise: oh now that’s a hard question !! probably the sound of birds chirping in the morning. although i really love the sound of cats purring as well.

random fact: since a few weeks back i started to re-read all of the hunger games books, i’ve been kind of into it again. so one day i was watching the first hunger games movie (my personal favourite) and about halfway through, my mom joined me into watching it. i spoke a bit about what things were left out in the movie but were important elements in the books. well anyways, my mom got kind of invested and she enjoyed herself ! since then, we’ve watched catching fire and mockingjay part 1 together and she has been liking it !! she never cared about it much when i was truly obsessed with it (back in like 2012) but right now, with me telling her more about it, she admits it’s not bad hahah. ALSO i fully understand why i was so damn in love with peeta mellark, he is like. perfect. precious. i love him so much still <33

i tag anyone who wants to do these !!! just say i tagged u !!

#alright that was a lot #thank you to all the kind people tagging me <333 #giving u all my luv <3 #(i think pretty much everyone has been tagged already now; so...)#(really just do these tags if u want to; i've tagged u!!)#about me

7 notes · View notes

yawnjunie · 4 years

Text

extra long tag game (seriously, it’s very long)

tagged by: @soobindipity (ty eri!)

tagging: @acethetiques, @bloomingjun, @txtdream, @bulgo-gyu...(i’m honestly so lazy so if you want to do this, go ahead! feel free to ignore if you were tagged)

ONE

tell me the first song that made you stan your current fave group and why did your faves attract you so much?

side effects! (oops this is a txt blog) but i’m pretty sure this is what made me want to stan skz! the song is very experimental, as it’s psychedelic edm (i believe), but i liked it a lot after a few listens. i was totally obsessed with the choreography as well, because the whole thing is just...art. they attracted me because their style of music was different than what i had seen before, and on top of being extremely talented and creative people, they were also super funny and caring.

another group that comes really close to being my favs is day6 (and i cannot even begin to describe my infatuation with this group). i listened to “shoot me” and “sweet chaos” and BAM that’s all it took to drag me into stanning this group. i’m not familiar with the inside jokes and all that, but i just love listening to their music! there is not a single bad song in their entire discography! i also have the largest heart eyes for young k’s “young one” project covers and eaJ’s original songs.

—

TWO

rule: answer the ten questions and write your own!

what’s your unrealistic goal for life?

going to an ivy league or just any amazing school in general (lol is this really gonna happen tho 🤪)

if you had known that we would be in a global pandemic, what’s one thing that you would’ve done before things shut down (if they have for you)?

gone out with my friends, probably (going for a boba run, going to the mall, etc.)

what’s an unconventional thing that you carry around with you when you go out?

a tiny book called “be active” by charles m. schulz, filled with motivation quotes. i also bring around a book, in case i get bored.

favourite type of plushies and why?

the extra fluffy kind that i can hug or use as a pillow, but i like the bear plushies a lot too (from daiso/miniso).

favourite song right now?

darn i don’t have one 😳 but i like listening to “ribs” by lorde

something that you’ve always wanted to learn?

how to make macarons, how to make/compose music, the korean language

tell a funny story about yourself (or just something that you’ve witnessed)

i can’t think of something off the top of my head :( (i promise my life isn’t that boring but my brain isn’t conjuring up anything helpful)

headphones or speakers? why?

headphones when i want to listen to music by myself/with a friend, speakers when i want to share music openly

craving any food right now? what are you craving?

banh mi and 🍅 (even though i just had a bowl of them...sorry beomgyu)

+ also this coconut that i’m trying to open? but it’s not cooperating with me 😔

which music streaming platform do you prefer? why?

spotify, it’s unproblematic for the most part

ten questions (by eri, answered)

1. what’s the best trip/vacation you’ve ever had?

when i went on a tour of china (i went to a bunch of places, from the city to the mountains). it was fun exploring places i’ve never been to!

2. do you have any random fears/phobias? if yes, what are they?

spiders and bugs :(

3. weirdest food you’ve ever eaten?

either mangostine (i hated it, sorry soobin) or frog legs

4. do you have any hidden talents? what can you do?

uhhhhhhhhhhh i can memorize things quickly? i mean i don’t think it’s that big of a talent but i can remember trivial history facts really well

5. what is an activity you’d like to try out someday?

swimming underneath a waterfall or just living in the wilderness

6. when did you get your first phone and what type of phone was it?

a very long time ago when i was in 2nd grade, when i first got an ancient flip-phone...i pretty much never touched it because i never really needed to use it

7. what is a movie you never get tired of watching?

kimi no nawa! i’ve watched that movie 3 times already and it’s a great movie so i wouldn’t mind watching it again :)

8. biggest pet peeve?

dirt encrusted fingernails >:(

9. earliest childhood memory?

i’m not sure :( my memory is just a jumble of things from my childhood

10. as a child, what did you want to be? what about now?

i wanted to be anything and everything...one day i would be like “i’m going to be a doctor” and the next i would be like “nvm i want to be a magician” and as for now, i’m actually not sure because i’m interesting in many fields, including areas in both sciences and humanities.

—

THREE

rule: bold the statements that apply to you, italicize your aspirations, then tag nine people.

AIR ༉⋆͙̈

i have small hands / i love the night sky / i watch animals and birds when i pass them by / i drink herbal tea / i wake to see the dawn / the smell of dust is comforting / i’m valued for being wise / i prefer books to music / i meditate / i find joy in learning new truths from the world around me

FIRE ༉⋆͙̈

i don’t have straight hair / i like to wear ripped jeans and overalls / i play an organized sport / i love dogs / i am not afraid of adventure / i love to talk to strangers / i always try new foods / i enjoy road trips / summer is my favorite season / my radio is always playing

WATER ༉⋆͙̈

i wear bracelets on my wrists / i love the bustle of the city / i have more than one set of piercings / i read poetry / i love the sound of a thunderstorm / i want to travel the world / i sleep past midday most days / i love simply lit dinners and fluorescent signs / i rewatch kids shows out of nostalgia / i see emotions in colors not words

EARTH ༉⋆͙̈

i wear glasses or contacts / i enjoy doing the laundry / i am a vegetarian or vegan / i have an excellent sense of time / my humor is very cheerful / i am a valued advisor to my friends / i believe in true love / i love this chill of mountain air / i’m always listening to music / i am highly trusted by the people in my life

AETHER ༉⋆͙̈

i go without makeup in my daily life / i make my own artwork / i keep on track of my tasks and time / i always know true north / i see beauty in everything / i can always smell flowers / i smile at everyone i pass by / i always fear history repeating itself / i have recovered from a mental disorder / i can love unconditionally

—

FOUR

PERSONAL

name: blu

nickname: blu

birthday: sometime when the flowers bloom

zodiac: aries

nationality: american

languages: english, chinese, spanish, (a bit of) japanese

gender: female

sexuality: straight

height: [redacted]

BLOG STUFF

inspiration for muse: txt and other groups i stan! i also like to take inspiration from my life experiences, books i’ve read, songs, movies. shows, and so on.

meaning behind my url: there weren’t any canon urls for yeonjun so my brain somehow went hmm? yawnjunie? sounds good (i’ve been asked this before and honestly there isn’t much logic behind my url lol)

blog established: June 5th, 2020

followers: 153 (it’s a small-ish community but thank you all for the support!)

FAVORITES

favourite animals: dogs, cats, wolves, foxes (i just love animals in general)

favourite books: asoue, the miraculous journey of edward tulane, the joy luck club, the giver series (there are more but i can’t think of them)

favourite colour: blue (i love all the colors)

favourite fictional characters: alyssa and james (teotfw), the baudelaires (asoue), and other people i can’t think of atm

favourite flower: i don’t think i have a specific favorite flower, but i like orchids!

favourite scent: the scent of pu’er tea (or the scent of dried flowers)

favourite season: i don’t have one, but i’m leaning towards autumn

RANDOM

average hours of sleep: 6-9

cats or dogs: dogs (i’m serious)

coffee, tea or hot chocolate: tea all the way

current time: 01:05

dream trip: south america, europe, japan

dream job: tbd :’) (but i want to be in a profession in which i’m helping people)

hobbies: eating, playing piano, being a tubbs™

hogwarts house: ravenclaw (i think)

last movie watched: can’t remember, but it was probably a film about a mermaid who tried to find true love on land but ended up dying

last song listened to: i’m in love with you by kina

no. of blankets you sleep with: 1-2

random fact(s): i love mint chocolate ice cream, i like my milk tea with a bunch of toppings (pudding, aloe vera, boba pearls, etc.)

—

FIVE

10 things I can’t stop listening to

if i could ride a bike - chevy

pinocchio - eaJ

fly me to the moon - young k

holo - lee hi

lmm - hwasa

man in a movie - day6

laughing on the outside - bernadette carroll

remember (from natsume’s book of friends) - uru

sparkle - radwimps

i loved you - day6

#the comprehensive profile of blu #this is more info about me than is on my actual about page whoops #about #tag game

10 notes · View notes

eldritchsurveys · 3 years

Text

1089.

1 - Aside from the necessities (eating, breathing etc.) what is something you do every single day, without fail? >> Check gmail, tumblr, discord. Do my Flight Rising dailies.

2 - Do you use cash or card the most? Do you find yourself using card or contactless methods more since COVID hit? >> I use card almost exclusively (some of the less technologically up-to-date stalls at the farmer’s market make me run back to the ATM sometimes, but other than that I never carry cash). This was even before COVID, so nothing has changed for me there. 3 - Is there anything you enjoy that’s considered childish for your age? What is it? >> I don’t call anything I enjoy “childish” and I don’t think other people should either.

4 - Who’s your favourite voice actor? What’s the best thing they’ve been in? >> I don’t have one. Keith David has a great voice, though, I do love him. And of course there’s Ron Glass (RIP) :’(

5 - How many times a day do you use the bathroom? >> Like twice, normally. Three or four if I have a lot of beverages.

6 - Do you need caffeine to wake up in the morning? What’s your drink of choice? >> I don’t need anything to wake up in the morning -- sleep is one area I’ve never had serious problems in, and thank god for that, because imagine how much worse my mental health would be if I did...

7 - Are you more of an introvert or an extrovert? If you’re an introvert, do you feel like you live in a world built for extroverts? >> I prefer being alone or in very small groups (and infrequently, even then), let’s just put it that way.

8 - What do you do with old clothes you no longer want or need? >> I usually end up throwing them away, unfortunately. I used to give them to Goodwill but then I realised how much of that stuff eventually gets thrown away anyway because it doesn’t get sold and they just get way too much stuff. COVID kind of interrupted this year’s possibilities, but in the future I’m probably going to look up local nonprofit homeless services and see if they need anything I have. 9 - How old were you when you got your first pet (not a family pet, but one that you were solely responsible for)? >> I have never had this particular experience.

10 - What is something popular or fashionable that you consider to be a real waste of money? >> ---

11 - Do you donate to charity? >> No.

12 - Do you live somewhere with lots of livestock or wild animals? >> Livestock, yeah, because there are a lot of farms once you get even a mile or two outside of the city. Not so much wildlife, just your general squirrels and crows and the occasional deer family.

13 - Would you rather live somewhere rural or urban? >> More rural than urban, but not so rural that it’s an all-day affair just to get groceries, you know. Also, I like having the Internet.

14 - Is there anything (a hobby, for example) that’s guaranteed to always make you feel better when you’ve had a bad day? >> Honestly, just... being Inworld. That’s my safe zone. Even if it doesn’t make the bad feelings go away right away (that’s not always possible), it is always at least grounding and comforting to be hugged by Can Calah, or to hear D or Bruni’s voice.

15 - If you’re struggling with your mental health, who are you most likely to open up to, or would you bottle it up instead? >> I bring that stuff Inworld. It’s really difficult to be that vulnerable outworld, although I try to make small forays into vulnerability on places like my blog or certain Discord servers. They’re still small forays, though -- I’m really just testing the waters, not actually swimming like I probably should be if I want to really work at it.

16 - Do you get your five portions of fruits and veggies everyday? >> Not every day, no. I wish it were easier for me to pull that off, but it really is not.

17 - What room of your house do you spend the most time in? Is this through choice or necessity? >> My room, by choice. I like it in here, it’s my space. The first space of my own I’ve had since 2009, which was the only other time I had space of my own (and then I didn’t even enjoy it because I was horribly depressed and isolated and constantly broke).

18 - If you have pets, do you snuggle with them when you’re having a bad time? Does it make you feel better? >> That’s a thing Sparrow does, but it doesn’t do anything for me. Maybe if I had an emotional support dog...

19 - Would you ever sign up to be in the military? What if there was enforced conscription, would you go or would you object? >> Fuck. No. Fuck no. Nope. Fuck no. I’d literally rather commit suicide. Did I make myself clear?

20 - Would you ever want to go to any kind of fitness bootcamp, or does that sound like utter hell to you? >> That does sound like utter hell to me.

21 - What’s the worst job you’ve ever had? What was it that made it so bad? >> ---

22 - If you could design your own garden, what would you have in it? Do you think that dream is ever going to be achievable for you? >> I have always been most interested in the kind of gardening that was just about caring for native plants and helping them to flourish. Learning the complex intricacies of the ecosystem around me and doing my part to preserve it. Like if there needs to be more pollinators, having some hives. Or if there was once a planted lawn on the property I live on, rehabilitating the soil and replacing it with native grasses instead. I would also like to grow herbs and vegetables, and any kind of flower that is native or at least not invasive to this particular environment (especially if it’s yellow! I love all yellow flowers). I imagine it would be perfectly achievable if we ever moved into a house.

23 - Do you believe there’s life on other planets? If so, do you think it’s anything like humanity? >> I think it’s highly probable that there’s life elsewhere, but highly improbable that it’d be like humanity. But maybe like other life on this planet, particularly microbes, sure.

24 - Does it take you a long time to fall asleep at night? What do you if you’re really struggling to get to sleep? >> No, I usually fall asleep within a half-hour of laying down, as long as I’m not doing anything brain-intensive.

25 - if you drive, how many times a week do you have to fill up your car with fuel? If you don’t drive, how much do you spend a week on travel/transport? >> I don’t go anywhere, period. When I used to go places (pre-COVID), I probably spent about $30 a month tops on public transportation. Usually more like $15.

26 - What did you get the last time you went out for fast food? >> The last fast food we had was Steak and Shake, but through DoorDash. I got the jalapeño crunch burger, like I used to, but I won’t be ordering burgers anymore because I think my GI tract is over red meat (or, at least, the highly processed variety).

27 - Do you tend to snack when you’re watching TV or sitting at the computer? What’s your favourite thing to snack on? >> I like to watch something while I’m eating a meal, but I don’t really snack for the sake of snacking or anything. I just plan the two things to happen at the same time whenever I can.

28 - When was the last time you went to a zoo or wildlife park type place? >> Uh... Labor Day last year? I think?

29 - Do you think it’s cruel when people keep exotic animals as pets? Or do you think it’s okay as long as they have the space, time and money to dedicate to them? >> I do think it’s cruel. I don’t see how any sort of condition could be okay for this, no matter how hard you try. Just... go on a safari. Watch a nature documentary. Why do you have to keep wild animals in your house? Domesticated dogs and cats and lizards and shit are literally right there (and a lot of them are in shelters, just waiting for a dedicated caregiver!).

30 - If you eat meat, is there a particular animal you’d never eat? If you don’t eat meat, what’s the reason for it? >> I don’t eat a lot of meat because I don’t really crave it. Like, it doesn’t strike me as necessary for a meal, probably because I was raised not eating it. I eat chicken most often because Sparrow makes a lot of meals that include it (and fried chicken sandwiches are my kryptonite). My preference for meat-eating is to eat from local sources that employ sustainable, ecologically-informed farming practices -- but, you know. I also live in America, as well as below the poverty line for a two-person household, so this stuff is difficult. It’s often easier (and insanely cheaper) to just not eat meat at all, which may be partly how that became such a big fad.

#surveys #survey #random surveys #not for reblogging *glare*

1 note · View note

unproduciblesmackdown · 5 years

Text

living 40 miles away from dc was lucky in terms of seeing museums n shit like i’m used to the “it’s literally free” smithsonian institution, i forget that that’s like....never true at other cities’ museums......yea not every museum in dc is free but like, yeah i’ve been to the natl gallery, natl museum of natural history, of american history, of air and space, air and space....2 (udvar hazy), american art, american indian, freer gallery, the castle......many of them i got to go to multiple times........plus ur on constitutional ave and there’s all that shit, i’ve never actually been inside the wash monument / capitol but like, yeah you can Look At It and go aha. there’s where they switched building materials. between 9/11 and the highway sniper i feel like the school field trip opportunities we had were drastically undercut but even so it’s like...that zone of having dropped in often enough that you’re def not a local but a little more familiar than a tourist.....had my secret parking hacks b/c, ugh the metro. got expensive / not enough parking / will kill you. love the stations though. very weird, the ominous approach of train lights in the tunnel / unholy reverberating shriek of the brakes, the escalators.......so much fun to be had really

also this is only related to the “living near dc” thing but when i had a nightmare job for 5 months i was out in this county that was even closer and alllllll it was was a schmancy suburb for the richiest rich of dc commuters............their strip malls having the whole art installation signs with a stone wall around a garden and metalwrought wordart designating it as “watercrest village” or some shit plus a goddamn fountain like.........i think it was deemed a Cultural Wasteland by some article talking about babeo baggins who’s from there lmfao. loudoun county more like Die

this is related to my just now typing out “stone wall” but i still remember this time in history class in 4th grade the teacher asked my why stonewall jackson was called that and i was like “cuz he.........stood there” and she made a joke out of that answer and i’m like binch the quote is literally like “standing there like a stone wall” alright. you want me to Not paraphrase?? lort. she was okay but she also could be exasperating. she did the thing where she was adamant about “if you finish your test before everyone else you did it wrong b/c you’re rushing through it” so we’d all finish our tests and everyone just sits there until someone bites the bullet and gets the disapproving glare for daring to be the first like. i hate to break it to you maam but Someone is always going to have to be the first to finish. we should’ve like, coordinated and had five people go up at once to dilute the judgment. also, why were we having to Know the reason for people’s names. i Still remember that delaware is named for lord de la warr. why do i have to have that burned into my brain. like that the main thing i remember abt the constitutional conventions is that it was hot as fuck in the building and everyone was gross, but also overheated. i mean, that Matters, but it’s taking up 0.001% cpu in my brain i could be using for anything else

which you know, i don’t think i’ve ever been to philadelphia actually, tho i’ve been all up in us history places like williamsburg, jamestown, mt vernon, monticello (i think!! idk why i can’t remember this w more certainty lmfao it was like. within the last 5 yrs), gettysburg, technically manassas, probably other places i’m not thinking of atm..........but one of the cats at my parents house, who demands to be hugged/held multiple times daily and is a notorious shedder, had left a distinctive white hair on some clothes my parents packed when they were on a trip to philadelphia, and my mom testified that she deliberately left some of his fur in independence hall. i for one hope its still there. Historical

7 notes · View notes

littleogreboii · 5 years

Text

Late night trans boy thoughts

I say late night, it’s like 21:40 here. I’m kind of in the middle of a breakdown atm. My psychology exam went bad on Monday. I don’t have any more school lessons ever, which my brain is still like ‘what’ over. And, I’m meant to have emailed both my photography and art teacher stuff. Also, was meant to put up my stuff for the photography exhibition today, but didn’t. And, my cat has a cut on his head which is stressing me out. So, I’m kind of shakey atm.

To top it all off, my dysphoria is acting up, which is bizarre because I literally felt alright about it earlier. I walked past a kid earlier with my bike and they were like “why is he-” and I wanted to cry. I assume they were going to ask “why is he walking his bike?” but didn’t get to the end of the sentence before one of their siblings shut them up, but I was super happy. (Also, I was walking because stressed out me thought cycling with a binder on was a great idea. It wasn’t, but that’s more because my knees gave up on me.) My dysphoria obviously doesn’t care though because it’s here telling me that one of the siblings probably ‘corrected’ them. Which sucks.

While, I’m suffering though and as an outlet I thought ‘let’s make a tumblr post’ because watching videos of twinfools transitioning isn’t helping. However, I’m quickly running out of things to say and I’m still shakey.

Well, let’s do story time because that’s always a fun time. Yeah, we’ll do the story of me realising I’m trans to present day.

We need to go back about 2 and a half years for this. This was when gender identity was becoming a big subject in my school, especially when one my classmates came out as trans. At that point, I began thinking about it and my brain began pointing out certain scenarios and feelings. I thought about how as a kid, I’d wanted to be ‘one of the lads’. Like the boys would ritualistically play football and I would always join them. There were other girls that would join in, but I didn’t really interact with them. I just wanted to appear like one of the lads.

However, even back then it was pretty clear that I wasn’t one of the ‘lads’. I hit puberty pretty early. By the age of about 10, I had started my period and my boobs had begun to develop. I never really liked having boobs. I’ve always viewed them as kind of an irritation, although I’ve appreciated them on girls.

Anyway, at this point, my brain presented the pronouns ‘he/him’ to me and I waved them off. I thought there was no way and my toxic masculinity took over with ‘but you wear skirts and makeup’ and stuff like that. Instead, I went by they/them pronouns for a few months with some of my close friends. However, they never sat right. They made me squirm and I didn’t like that. But, I knew I wasn’t a fan of feminine pronouns either. I pushed through this for about 3/4 of a year, before deciding enough was enough.

I cut my hair short and you know you have people who are like ‘oh you’ll regret that’. I never have. I love my short hair. It highlights my jaw and makes my shoulders stand out. Before, my hair was so thick it was like the width of my shoulders so I looked strange.

Again, my brain was like ‘he/him’??? But, I was now determined to prove how ‘feminine’ I was. I went through a solid 3 months wearing as much makeup as possible and wearing skirts and dresses all the time. I would wear low cut clothing to show off my boobs, and I was so miserable. I hated every minute of those months. I hit such a low point and I just wanted to die.

I don’t remember how, but I stumbled upon gc2b’s website and in a final last ditch attempt, I ordered a binder. I figured, it would arrive and I would try it on and hate it, putting an end to all my affairs. It didn’t. I tried that binder on and I cried because I loved it. My chest looked so good and I tried on so many different shirts from my wardrobe in awe. There was no turning back for me. I didn’t tell anyone.

I’m still not entirely out, but that’s mainly because I’m at the end of school so I might as well go in with a fresh start at uni. I’m in the process of telling all my close friends, but most of them I’ve been friends with since I was 6 so it’s difficult. However, they’re good people so I’m not stressed about that side of it. My family are the more stressful side to it. My relationship with my dad is very strained, like I hardly speak with him as he had an affair a couple years ago and it was a bit of a messy divorce. I think my mum would be accepting, but I think she wouldn’t really know how to deal with it. That and she would probably end up outing me to virtually everyone, before I was ready. I’m not worried about my siblings and I know most of my cousins would be chill. My biggest concern is my nan. I love her so much and the idea of her not accepting me hurts. My other grandparents, I know, probably won’t accept me straight away, but I think after talking it other with them over a period of time, they might at least be able to bear it. I don’t even want to think about my aunts and uncles. Most of them are assholes or drunks. One of them is a well-meaning homophobe. Like he doesn’t get it, but he accepts that he’s probably just old-fashioned and has asked my opinion on homosexuals on different occasions. So, I think he’d be alright with it if I explained it well enough.

I think my biggest issue with most of them though is toxic masculinity. I still occasionally wear dresses because I like the swish-swish feel. I don’t own many anymore though because straight after I accepted I was trans, I got rid of nearly all my ‘feminine styled’ clothes. I kept a couple skirts I’d brought during my ‘I MUST BE A GIRL’ phase, but that’s because I’d brought them so recently, my mum would be like ‘wtf these are pretty much new’. However, those skirts were all pencil and I don’t like the way they accentuate my hips. But, I still occasionally buy a dress and I sometimes sit in my prom dress. These don’t really bring attention to my chest or hips, so I like them. Well, the prom dress does, but I only really wear that to twirl around for a bit because it feels great. Honestly, if you’ve never worn a dress, 10/10 recommend if only for the twirl effect. I still wear makeup too. I never really wore makeup to look ‘pretty’. I wore it to see how funky I could do it. Like seeing how wild I can go with the eye shadow.

The thing with realising your gender though, is you’re more aware of your dysphoria. Before, it was a mild ‘get rid of your boobies’. Now, it’s ‘your tits bounce when you walk and everyone can see it happening’ whenever I don’t have a binder on and ‘its not really flat though is it’ when I do have my binder on. As well as, ‘your voice is too high pitched, you write too feminine, and your hips sway too much when you walk’. These are combat-able though. Like I’ll be like ‘not every guy has a deep voice’ and I’ll remind myself of the female dance teacher I had as a kid who had a really deep voice. The ‘writing too feminine’ one is harder because this was something a friend told me. Like he straight up said he didn’t entirely believe I was trans because of the way I wrote (messages and stories). (We’re on better terms now. I explained to him that he hasn’t met every trans guy in existence and my gender is personal to me. He’s apologised and in his own twisted way he was looking out for me because he knows someone who started meds before realising that it wasn’t what they wanted. He also got me talking to one of his genderfluid friends for advice on dysphoria and stuff like that. He just struggled for a bit because his hetero ass had a big crush on me, but he knows that’s his problem to solve.) His words do still occasionally affect me though. I’m constantly reminding myself that writing has no gender. Instead, it is determined by age and exposure to tumblr.

Realising I was trans wasn’t all bad though. I would get romantic attractions to people, but I could never really picture doing anything with them. And, now I understand why. I thought I was asexual for the longest time and I still have yet to change that in my bio, but I know why now. And, I mean some of it is that I’m still maturing and simply not ready for that level of commitment, but a lot of it was due to me realising what’s downstairs ain’t right.

This is my experience so far and I’m a long way away from being anywhere near content. However, typing this has actually calmed my dysphoria a little bit. Although, I’m still no closer to doing that work for art or photography.

#ftm #trans ftm #trans boy #lgbt+#gender dysphoria #gender identity #trans

2 notes · View notes

douxreviews · 5 years

Text

American Gods - ‘Head Full of Snow’ Review

"You believe in nothing, so you have nothing."

American Gods goes on a bank heist, in an episode that neatly balances touching sidebar stories with Shadow finally getting some empowerment, both figuratively and literally. Maybe.

The more you dig into an episode of American Gods, the more impressive it becomes just how densely layered the whole thing is. How exactly would one quickly describe this episode? Is it 'The One Where Mr. Wednesday and Shadow Rob a Bank?' Is it 'The One That Separately Introduces Salim and Anubis?' Or maybe 'The One Where Shadow (Possibly) Gets Superpowers'? The answer of course is, 'yes'. It's all of those, deftly interwoven with a number of thoughtful pauses where we contemplate the cultural meaning of Jesus(es), get a glimpse of the afterlife, and discover that Mad Sweeney should keep a better eye on his things.

That's a lot going on, and yet somehow the episode doesn't feel overcrowded, which is as neat a trick as Mr. Wednesday has ever pulled.

So, let's pull it a part a little bit and see how the pieces work. To begin with, we start where we ended last week, with Shadow having lost his head, literally, in a checkers match. Since the beginning of the series Shadow has been a victim of the various forces around him that are influencing his life, and has only been able to roll with the punches as they come at him. But that all changes in the opening sequences here through his dream encounter on the roof with Zorya Polunochnaya, the Midnight Star. Neil Gaiman has always written dream dialogue well, no pun intended, and most of the conversation they have here is lifted directly from the book to great effect. One of the most necessary skills for anyone adapting a written text into visual media is knowing what they need to change to make it work and what they should leave unchanged. Fuller, Green and company made the right call in this case.

The midnight star, a virgin as she herself points out, is about rebirth and renewal, and in that spirit she absolutely gives Shadow the fresh re-start he needs. After this he's able to outwit Czernobog by playing on his vanity and his fear of growing weak into playing a second game of checkers and beats him. Czernobog still gets to bash in his brain with his hammer, but not until after Czernobog comes along with them on Mr. Wednesday's journey. So, there's that hanging over our heads until later on in the story, then.

This metaphorical empowerment then gets a little more literal when Mr. Wednesday repeatedly urges Shadow to make it snow by thinking about snow, and then it snows. Metaphorically, structurally, and possibly literally, Shadow is learning how to affect the world around him, and there's something more than a little insidious about how Wednesday seems to be manipulating things around them to make it happen. It was nice though that both the show and Wednesday chose to leave it an open question as to whether Shadow had really made the snow or whether is was a coincidence. It's about your personal choice as to what you believe, both of them seem to be saying, and as Wednesday explicitly points out, 'First you don't believe and then you do believe, and the world changes because you do.' It's admittedly a little precious as ruminations on belief go, but the show is really drilling down into the way belief affects the shape of the world, so it works in this case. Let's just all agree not to push things by cross stitching it on a pillow.

As for the bank robbery itself, well, robbery is probably a bit of an overstatement. Although I'm sure that would technically by the charge were they arrested for it. Realistically, it's more a case of conning people out of their overnight deposits when they come to put them in the ATM. The sequence works for what it's setting out to do for a couple of reasons. First, it demonstrates that Mr. Wednesday really is a devious and manipulative con artist who's good at playing people. Second, and more surprisingly, it shows us just how smoothly and easily Shadow can roll with a situation and con people himself. What it doesn't do however is show us a way of feasibly robbing a bank, as the plan we see wouldn't have worked, even at the time of the book being published, for three major reasons. 1: Night deposits in bags like that don't go in ATMs, they go in night deposit drop slots. Or they did at the time, I confess to having been out of retail for a long time, but I think that's still the same situation. 2: Even when closed, banks have security guards, particularly a bank in Chicago on a busy street like that. At the very least they would have video monitoring that would have investigated the guy sitting in front of their ATM. 3: Most importantly, in that situation the police would call the bank, not the number on a business card they were handed by the man they were suspicious of. I'm just saying; good scene for the purposes of plot and drama, bad scene if you're trying to teach yourself how to rob banks.

We hadn't seen Mad Sweeney since the first episode, and it turns out the reason why is that he's been passed out in a public toilet all this time. We've all been there. What's more interesting is that we gradually learn that his luck appears to have left him with the gold coin he gave Shadow back in that episode. His escalating bad luck while he works that out is pretty amusing, but it's hard not to feel a little bad for guest star Scott Thompson, who takes a pipe first through his windshield and then his face solely for having tried to help out someone staggering down the road. And for a guy with that much bad luck, Sweeney certainly puts on some miles here. He starts at the Crocodile bar somewhere in Missouri-ish, gets to Chicago to find Shadow, and then has to get all the way back to Indiana. That's a lot of travel for a guy who seems to be doing most of it on foot. Did he leave behind a trail of Scott Thompson's, all ghoulishly killed in one manner of bad luck traffic accident or another?

Then we have the Somewhere in America sequences, both of which are beautiful in their own way. Mrs. Fadil, dying alone only to have Anubis stop by and kindly taste her dinner before escorting her to a gorgeously filmed afterlife was just lovely. But the longer sequence of Salim, the lonely salesman and an equally lonely Jinn who unexpectedly find a loving connection to one another was one of the most profoundly moving love stories I've ever seen in film or television. Also, wow that was a lot of graphic sex. I appreciated that the way it was filmed was neither exploitative nor apologetic about it being a same sex couple. The beauty of the interactions between Sadim and the Jinn, two beings so lonely that they've given up on even the concept of finding a connection or love, can be summed up in one exchange:

Sadim: "I wish you could see what I see." Jinn: "I do not grant wishes." Sadim: "But you do."

Just beautiful.

Quotes:

Anubis: "Your Assaf will marry in a year and name his daughter for you." Mrs. Fadil: "A Bullshit middle name?" Anubis: "A bullshit middle name."

Zorya Polunochnaya: "Kissing is disgusting, but it a nice way. Like Blue Cheese, or Brandy."

Czernobog: "All right, I’ll go with Wotan to his Wisconsin. Then I’m gonna kill you. Is good?" Shadow: "Is good."

Shadow: "Storm died." Wednesday: "No it hasn’t. We’re gonna rob a bank. Want some coffee?"

Jinn: "You try and sell shit?" Salesman: "I sell Shit yes." Jinn: "And they will not buy it?" Salesman: "No." Jinn: "Strange. Cause when you look in the stores here, that’s all they sell."

Jinn: "They know nothing about my people here. They think all we do is grant wishes. If I could grant a wish, do you think I’d be driving a cab?"

Wednesday: "Come on, learn. It’ll be fun."

Bits and Pieces:

-- If you are reading this later on, or are not from the Midwest, we just spent a week at thirty below zero. Before the windchill. This was not a great week to think 'snow'.

-- I'm not very clear whether Mrs. Fadil's skinless cat was actually Bast, or if Bast is just part of all cats and so that's why the cat got to go with to the afterlife's foyer.

-- Lots of climbing up balconies this week.

-- Zorya Polunochnaya is entirely a creation of Neil Gaiman's. I'm fairly certain she's the only instance of that in the entire book, but I might be wrong. Feel free to correct me in the comments if so, it's the only way I'll learn.

-- When Zorya P. referred to the constellation as 'Odin's Wain', I misheard it as 'Odin's Wang.' That's a very different constellation.

-- I could watch Ian McShane seduce Cloris Leachman all day. Now there's a sentence I didn't expect to be typing today.

-- I have a great anecdote about Scott Thompson, but it's not relevant to the show, so I'll throw it in the comments if anyone's interested.

-- Despite the fact that Mr. Wednesday uses them interchangeably, hot chocolate and hot cocoa are categorically not the exact same thing. This is important.

-- What was the deal with the wolf they almost hit?

-- So apparently the inference is that Mad Sweeney's lucky coin brought Laura back to life, and that's how she ended up in Shadow's motel room at the end. The bigger question to me is how did she get out of her grave without disturbing the ground? And is that the most poorly monitored cemetery in the world, or what?

-- No sign this week of Media, Technical Boy, or Bilquis. Also, three episodes in and still no sign of Crispin Glover's Mr. World

-- This week's amusing behind the scenes story; Both the actor who plays Salim and the actor who plays the Jinn are heterosexual. As, apparently, was all of the film crew in the unit that recorded their love scene. This, the legend goes, led to Bryan Fuller receiving the rushes for their love scene and having to tell everyone involved, 'Yeah... That's not how that works...' After which they had to stage a remount. That last part was not intended to be a joke, but I can't bring myself to erase it. Let's all just be adults and move on.

A solid episode with a lot of good stuff in it, but it still suffers a bit from feeling like it's all setup for more important stuff later on.

Three out of four ATM deposits

Mikey Heinrich is, among other things, a freelance writer, volunteer firefighter, and roughly 78% water.

#American Gods #Shadow Moon #Mr. Wednesday #Laura Moon #Mad Sweeney #Neil Gaiman #American Gods Reviews #Doux Reviews #TV Reviews

4 notes · View notes

margridarnauds · 5 years

Note

XVI. The Tower and XXII. The Fool please!

Thanks!

XVI. The Tower: Do you easily change your opinion on matters? What makes you lose faith in other people? Is there anything, or anyone you feel safe with?

Do you easily change your opinion on matters?

I don’t really think I change my opinion TOO much, at its base, if that makes any sense? When I’m around people, I do find myself molding myself into what the conversation requires, or at least shutting myself up unless it’s something that I find truly deplorable/can back up easily, but I think it takes a lot for my own personal opinion to change. Except for that one day or so when I woke up a conservative Methodist and went to bed as a liberal (alright I was “libertarian” but that went down the drain fast) atheist. That was a fun time. In my research, I try to keep an open mind, but I’ll own to my own confirmation bias. I can say “This is a good paper, you make good arguments,” but…do I fully accept it in my mind? No. But also I tend to see things more in shades of gray to a potentially annoying extent as it is, so when I change my opinion, it’s…not necessarily a matter of saying “This thing has some bad points” it’s “This thing’s bad points now outweigh its good points in my mind.” Part of why I ultimately chose lit over history as my focus was that I like that there’s not really a press for an Ultimate Truth in lit, in the sense that everything’s much more open to interpretation, whereas history tends to pressure more for definite ARGUMENTS.

What makes you lose faith in other people?

It’s odd, because losing faith in people, for me, is rarely a matter of ONE single thing. I try to give people second and third chances, I tend to brush off that little niggling, “Something’s not right here” feeling, etc. So, when I finally lose faith, it’s a Big Thing, but it’s also not one that I can solidly put down to a single thing, which also makes it very hard when I’m trying to build a timeline in my head. Betrayal, lies, cruelty (though I do TRY to understand that people can have bad days, but…it doesn’t ERASE it, you know?), willful ignorance, finding out that they support things that I find personally deplorable, all the things that you’d really expect.

(Funny story there: For ages I didn’t get crushes. Not one. Then, I got a strange…thing on a guy in my German class. Not a straight-up crush, but I LIKED him in a way that was slightly more than platonic. And I was like, “Okay, I’m bi instead of ace after all.” Then, I found out he supported Trump and he made some insanely transphobic and biphobic comments under the guise of “debate” because he was That Guy. /Crush, and that was basically the last time I got a crush on a guy. My brain just went “nein.”)

It’s also really, really hard if I’d previously really trusted and looked up to someone and that happens. That’s really when I start wondering if there’s something wrong with *me* or if I’m over-exaggerating things to suit my own narrative.

Is there anything, or anyone you feel safe with?

My dogs, my cats, my mom, for the most part, though she does have the little habit of telling my aunt things in the name of “family unity” when I had meant for it to be a personal matter. See: When I begged her not to tell my aunt I’m an atheist because my aunt is REALLY STAUNCHLY conservative, when I begged her not to tell her that I wanted to get out of the country because of the situation at home + politically, etc.

Safety is a generally relative concept, anyway; I can trust that my mom and aunt won’t abandon me to be raised by wolves and will be there for me when I need them barring a huge catastrophe, I can trust that my mom can help me work through an anxiety attack and keep a solid 80% of my secrets, I can trust that my friends can handle my various eccentricities and questionable sense of humor, and I can trust that my dogs and cats will be with me no matter what because I’m the one who feeds them and gives them scritches.

It’s all much less depressing than it sounds.

XXII. The Fool: How much weight do you give to other people’s opinion? What is an adventure you were part of - or you wish you could be part of? Is there something you have an endless passion for?

How much weight do you give to other people’s opinion?

I blame it on the bullying, but I have this odd…thing where I simultaneously have an “I don’t give a fuck” and “I give every fuck” attitude to people’s opinions. Like, on one hand, there’s probably not been a single feature of mine that’s not been ripped to pieces at some point. I mean, I had comics drawn of me having sex with my cats by my best friend at the time when I was 12 years old. It was a lovely, lovely period in my life. And, as a result, I think I developed a very self-deprecating sense of humor, as well as the idea that, well, I’ll be ripped to shreds no matter what, so I might as well express myself and damn the consequences.

Well…that and being homeschooled for most of my high school years. It’s astonishing how much your opinions and interests can diverge if you’re not under the pressure to necessarily conform.

But, at the same time, it also made me sensitive to personal criticism, as I have this idea that everyone hates me and is just being polite, that I’m really annoying, etc. One of the things that actually devastated me in college was reading teacher feedback, because even though I knew they were just trying to help me become a stronger academic, the thought that they might find me…wanting in some way stung. Especially when it was teachers that I really respected and looked up to. (Which, tbh, was all my teachers because I have a painful…thing when it comes to authority figures and trying to appease them and-Oh God I’m actually Peyrol minus the homicide, erratic temper, and questionable BDSM. That and our faculty was lovely.) I legit had to have my mom read the feedback, because I wanted to have it filtered and I was, like, worried one of them would say, “Rachel, you are a disgrace to the Humanities program and this school. This paper is shit. Goodbye” or something.

I’Il often find myself softening my opinions or keeping silent if I feel like it could be dangerous, or if it might affect someone’s view of me, and I’m hyper-sensitive about, say, pauses in a conversation, because I’ll be like, “Oh, I’ve done it now.” And then in the next second, I’ll reblog, “FUCK OFF ANTIS” on my blog because, again, it’s a strange duality…thing with me.

What is an adventure you were part of - or you wish you could be part of?

Oh, God, I’ve had some wild times. There’s the time that we were moving and ended up driving over a thousand miles overnight in a fifteen passenger van because we had 17 cats, two birds, and a bunny with us. And then had to travel BACK the next day because we had business to attend to back in our old place.

OR the time that my late uncle lost his keys on a rollercoaster at Busch Gardens and so we ended up having to travel over three hours from where we live to rescue him, which is how we ended up meeting his boyfriend for the first time.

OR the time that we picked up the youngest of our three dogs, Riley, when we ran into a curb less than ten minutes out, encountered various and assorted technical issues during the ~4 hours of the rest of the trip, and THEN when we were going back I had my hands nearly nibbled to death by an overeager puppy who was excited by the prospect of new friends. (This is how we met the nice old lady who gave me the money for the Toho 1789 + Riley is a sweet dog once he’s settled, so it was #WorthIt)

I really, really want to get out of the States, travel to different places around the world…see more musicals. Definitely see more musicals. I’m very aware of how limited my experience is, not having ever been out of my own country. (Unless you count briefly being over Canada when I was en route to Alaska, which I don’t.) I would love to go to Ireland and see some of the places mentioned in the various myths that I’ve read so much about, possibly embarrass myself by crying over Bres’ grave; I’d love to hit up the Tower of London or Versailles; go to either a Toho or Takarazuka musical in Japan (If and when my Japanese improves beyond「アメリカ人です」since I’d really rather be able to show my face in public). See snow again, maybe, since I do miss it.

My old college offered study abroad trips to Oxford over the summer and I REALLY wanted to go, but, alas, it was insanely expensive + I wasn’t entirely sure about how much I would be able to enjoy myself if I had schoolwork to do, since I’d end up focusing on making that perfect rather than actually appreciating the trip.

Alternatively: The Ghost Tour at Saint Augustine. I want to go on it SO MUCH.

Is there something you have an endless passion for?

Any of the musicals I’ve been lucky to get into (Especially. The one. You know the one. The one that I don’t even need to mention given that it consumes about 80% of my brain power at any given point), anything related to Irish Mythology, especially when it comes to my boy Bres, the French Revolution even though it also scares me because the scope of it’s so large and I never really feel like I make progress in it, female villainesses who can kill me and I would thank them (which is…a disturbingly large amount, actually).

In general, I’m the type of person who develops special interests where I’ll become OBSESSIVE over learning everything I can about something and kind of latch onto it, so anything I’ve developed that for kind of goes here by default.

And my dogs. Because they’re Good Bois (+ one Good Girl) and I honestly am not sure where I’d be atm without them. And my cats for tolerating my shit for this long.

#berncat #long post #i swear I'm a more or less well adjusted human being

2 notes · View notes

tharroswrites · 6 years

Text

Quiet Gratitude

Kacchako Week 2018 Day Two: Domiciliary

Read on AO3

This is definitely going to be a two-shot, maybe even a three-shot, and will definitely have a chapter for the prompt “Stars” and maybe one for the prompt “Unity.” We’ll see.

Bakugou Katsuki marched into her apartment like he owned the place.

Stepping out of his shoes and kicking them into the closet by the door, he didn’t spare Uraraka a glance—she, with her hand still on the knob and her mouth half-open in a question that got stuck in her throat.

He strode through the open kitchen to the left and into the living area beyond it, dumping his backpack on the small dining table behind the couch like he’d done it a hundred times before.

Only once he’d pulled the folder from inside the bag and spread the contents on the table did he turn to Uraraka, still at the door, to give her one of those looks that said ‘move your ass or I’ll move it for you.’

“What—”

“Villain,” he said, jabbing a calloused finger onto the papers before him. “Case file. Keep up.”

“Keep up?” she asked, finally closing the door and trailing after him. “I didn’t realize we’d started.”

He sighed heavily through his nose, like a bull before a matador, as if she were the one wasting his day off. As if she had been the one to show up at his apartment unannounced with only vague explanations and a bad attitude.

“My shitty partner didn’t want the case, so I told Ryukyu I’d do it by myself.”

A bold move, Uraraka thought, her eyebrows flicking upward. She’d been brought on as a sidekick at Ryukyu’s agency right after graduation, Bakugou several months later when no better offers were made. Even as his technical superior, Uraraka wouldn’t have the gall to just tell Ryukyu that she was going to do what she wanted. Then again, that was probably why Bakugou was always the one hogging the spotlight.

And yet.

“How does 'doing it by yourself’ bring you here?” she asked, the corner of her mouth twitching up just slightly because she already knew the answer. He would never say it in so many words, but he needed help.

As suspected, he shot her a look and didn’t bother with an answer.

“How did you even get my address?” She went to the tv and turned it off, resigning herself to an afternoon spent with Bakugou instead of the relaxing one she’d had planned. Grabbing her coffee, now cold, from the low table in front of the couch, she plopped down in a chair at the rarely used dining table instead and pulled one knee up to her chest.

“Asui.”

“Tsuyu,” Uraraka corrected automatically, and Bakugou 'tched.’

Pythagoras, her grey and orange tabby cat, dashed from the bedroom (where he’d taken refuge when Bakugou’s demanding knock had scared him out of a nap) and jumped into Uraraka’s lap.

Bakugou spared the cat a single, disgusted glance and said to Uraraka, “You would.”

She stuck her tongue out at him and scratched Pythagoras behind the ears.

“Anyway,” he half-growled, shifting some of the papers around until he found a sketch of a man, probably in his early thirties, with unkempt black hair and blue-grey eyes. “Recognize him?”

“No…”

He pulled out photos then, surveillance cameras from shops and ATMs mostly. They weren’t great quality, but in all of them, there was man who at least resembled the sketch.

“Each of these photos,” Bakugou said, laying them out in front of her one by one, “was taken the day before the League of Villains attacked these locations. Mostly petty crime, but this was where Toga’s gang attacked Suneater and Blitz on their regularly scheduled patrol.”

“So you think this guy is somehow setting up for the others to commit their crimes?” Uraraka asked, taking the last photo from the pile: a camera on the corner of a lesser city block that she recognized from the news—Suneater and Blitz had fought off Toga, Twice, and some other Leaguers that Uraraka wasn’t overly familiar with. They made it out, but by the time backup arrived, Toga and the others had gotten away.

Bakugou shook his head, and the annoyed grimace he gave her was the closest he ever really got to saying 'I don’t know.’

“Any ideas as to his Quirk?”

“Nothing,” Bakugou said, running a frustrated hand through his hair and finally sitting down.

He had no clue how out of place he looked, with his sleek athletic pants and tight-fitting, name brand, black tank top, among her hand-me-down furniture and next to her in her shorts and t-shirt that had been washed so many times it was nearly impossible to know what their original colors had been.

But the thought would never cross his mind—not when there were villains to hunt down, so Uraraka pulled her short hair into a ponytail and began rummaging through the sparse information he’d brought with him.

“Is there a map?” she asked after a moment. “You know, pinpointing the locations of these sightings?”

“Everything I’ve got is here, shit-wit,” he said, leaning back in the chair and rubbing his eyes. “I was up all night just getting this together.”

Uraraka held up a finger and hopped out of her seat. “I bet I’ve got a city map here somewhere…”

She went into the kitchen and began digging through the drawers where she kept letters, cards, old newspapers, magazines, anything paper that she didn’t want to recycle. And sure enough, under a stack of holiday cards from Yaomomo (she sent cards for every occasion), Uraraka found a bent and slightly faded map of the city that she’d bought when she moved into her first apartment after getting into U.A. In another drawer, she found a black marker and brought both items back to Bakugou.

“All right,” she said, stacking up the pictures in order to make room for the map, which she unfolded and spread across the table. Bakugou sat up straight as she did so, but it was then she noticed the bags under his eyes, the tired set of his mouth. Even his hair didn’t seem as spiky as usual. “Want some coffee?”

“No. I’m not tired.”

Uraraka returned to the kitchen and began to heat water, popping her own cold coffee in the microwave as she did so. The counter was all that divided the kitchen from the living room, and Bakugou gave her a sour look over it.

She’d seen him do this before—work himself until he dropped. He was so desperate to move up from sidekick to hero to number one that he often forgot to take care of himself. This time, at least, he’d asked for help (as much as Bakugou Katsuki could ask another person for anything) and she thought it might be the least she could do to keep him from collapsing.

But she also knew that Bakugou would never accept someone helping him purely for the sake of it or—gods forbid—because they thought he needed it, so she returned his glare as she scooped instant coffee powder into an All Might mug.

“You came here, remember?” she said, adding a bit more edge to her voice than she would’ve with anyone else. “We’ve got a villain to track and I’m not going to have you holding me back. So drink the dang coffee or leave.”

She had one hand on her hip and the other stirring the hot water into the cup, and Bakugou, for once, couldn’t out-glare her, so he sighed and clicked his tongue, but made no further protest.

He did give her a skeptical look when he saw the grinning face of their former teacher on his mug, but before he could comment, there was a knock at the door. Pythagoras jumped into Bakugou’s lap only to be shoved back to the floor, and Uraraka ignored them both as she went to see who else could possibly be at her apartment.

“Oh! Mrs. Takahashi!” she exclaimed upon opening the door to her squat, middle-aged neighbor. The woman was kind and big-hearted, and often invited Uraraka over for dinner when she knew the young hero was short on money.

“Kaiya, dear,” she said, as she did every time Uraraka addressed her by her family name. “I heard raised voices and I wanted to make sure everything was—oh. Oh my.”

Uraraka felt her face make the jump straight to fire engine red as Mrs. Takahashi peered around her and spotted Bakugou sitting at the dining table.

Before she could even begin to explain, the older woman was clapping her hands and grinning like Christmas came early.

“I didn’t realize you had a guest! And such a handsome one!”

“It’s not like—”

“I hope you’re not planning on giving him that instant coffee you always buy!” she hissed, though the effect was lost as she was still loud enough for Bakugou to hear. “Where did you meet such a man? Is he a hero, too?”

Mrs. Takahashi was working herself into a world of her own design and all Uraraka could do was stand there and wonder if Bakugou would explode her head if she asked him to. She might not need him, honestly, with as hot as her face was getting—her brain could be oozing out of her ears from the heat.

“Um—”

“I’ll go make some snacks for the two of you, okay?” Her eyes were bright as she peeked around Uraraka, who was trying to take up as much of the doorframe as possible, to get another look at her 'guest.’ “I’ll be back, Ochako, dear.”

“You don’t have to—” But Mrs. Takahashi was already half-skipping back to her own door and Uraraka pressed her palm over her eyes and sighed. “Thanks…I think.”

Uraraka turned around and shut the door, her face still hot and glowing as she looked at Bakugou, who was draining his coffee in gulps and, she thought, pretending that he hadn’t heard anything. He set the mug back on the table and looked into it with a frown.

“That tasted like shit.”

“You get used to it.”

He gave her a look and she sank back into the chair beside him, content to go along with his supposed moment of deafness.

“Okay, not really,” she admitted, exasperated because she was so flustered. “But it’s cheap!”

Something seemed to dawn on him then, and he gave her apartment a sweeping, analytic glance that he hadn’t bothered with at first. It wasn’t in the best part of town, and certainly not as nice or spacious as his apartment (which she’d been to once when Kirishima came up with an ill-conceived plan to throw Bakugou a surprise birthday party). The windows were open and the fans on, even though summer still clung to the late September air and she should probably have the air conditioning running.

And for once, Uraraka was glad that Bakugou didn’t really care about other people because he didn’t comment on any of it, just grabbed some of the photos and tossed her the marker.

“The first sighting I could find was in July, near the 37 block downtown,” he said, holding up the picture while she found the spot on the map. She circled it and wrote the date from the timestamp. “And the next was near Ryukyu’s offices. That ATM outside that shitty ice cream place, you know, the one with—”

“Pickle-flavored frozen yogurt?” Uraraka finished, her nose wrinkling in disgust.

“Yeah.”

“I know the place. Hado loves it.”

“The fuck?”

“I know,” Uraraka said, laughing a bit. She and Hado were partners, and there had been many times when the older girl wanted to stop in that shop for a treat after work. “She loves everything though, so I guess it isn’t saying much.”

Bakugou snorted and picked up the next picture. “This is some street camera I couldn’t get an actual location on. But in the background there, doesn’t that look like—”

“Heights Alliance.”

“From the back, yeah.”

“The closest shopping district to U.A. is about half a kilometer south of campus. Which, judging by the orientation of the building…” Uraraka paused, using her fingers to test angles on the map. “Would put that camera somewhere between here,” she drew a small dot on the first street of the shopping district. “And here.” She put another dot several streets down and connected them with a circle.

She looked at Bakugou and was surprised to see something like relief flitting across his face, but he worked his features back into a scowl when he noticed her looking and 'tched.’

“I like geometry,” she said, fighting a smile because that was probably one of the reasons he came to her in the first place. “Shut up.”

They were almost done marking the map with Mrs. Takahashi knocked on the door again. And Uraraka sighed and threw Bakugou an apologetic glance that he ignored as he took the marker from her.

She’d barely turned the knob when the older woman pushed through the door, grinning widely and heading into the kitchen with tray of tea and sandwiches.

“So are you going to introduce me?” Mrs. Takahashi whisper-shouted.

Uraraka brought her hands up in front of her face and waved them back and forth. “That’s really not a good idea—”

“Nonsense, sweetie, I’m sure he’s wonderful!” She put a hand beside her mouth, as if that would somehow prevent Bakugou from hearing any of it. “I mean look at him! And if you’re comfortable dressing like…well like that around him, it seems pretty locked down to me!”

For the second time that day, Uraraka was stunned into standing in place with her mouth hanging open, and Mrs. Takahashi walked right up to Bakugou like he wasn’t a fire breathing rage monster and introduced herself.

“Call me Kaiya,” she said, grinning ear to ear and close enough to Bakugou that Uraraka genuinely feared for the woman’s safety.

So Uraraka thought she’d actually managed to melt her own brain from embarrassment when Bakugou simply said, “Katsuki. Thanks for the food.”

Mrs. Takahashi squealed like Aoyama on costume upgrade day at U.A. and practically danced out of Uraraka’s apartment.

Uraraka stood in the kitchen and stared at Bakugou like he’d grown an extra head. A polite, reasonable extra head.

“Chill, you fucking weirdo,” he said in a 180 turn back to normal. “I figured that would be the fastest way to make her leave.”

Uraraka blinked. He wasn’t wrong.

“What, you think I can’t be fucking polite?”

“Well, that statement is pretty good proof—”

Bakugou pushed himself up from the table and came to stand beside her. He plucked a sandwich from the tray and studied it as he said, “I choose not to bother with stupid shit like that because it’s usually a waste of everyone’s time. Things would be better if people just said what they wanted and got it over with.”

“But in this situation it was to your benefit to be nice.”

“Yeah.”

“Why do you want to be a hero?” The words came out before she really had a chance to think about them, but since she was probably going to implode from embarrassment at any moment, she might as well go out with a bang. “I mean…do you want to save people? Or do you just want to be the best at something quantifiable?”

Bakugou popped the sandwich in his mouth and grabbed the whole tray to bring back to the table with him. “That falls under 'small talk,’ and 'small talk’ falls under 'politeness.’ And we’ve still got work to do.”

Uraraka really didn’t consider a question like that to be small talk, but she was thankful enough that he hadn’t completely offended her favorite neighbor that she didn’t push the issue.

When they finished marking the map, they both sat back and stared at it for a moment.

“Er…” Uraraka began, blinking a few times in the hope that maybe she was missing some crucial pattern. “Does this…mean anything?”

“Other than that this guy is fucking erratic? I don’t think so.” He looked as perplexed as she felt, though he was clearly trying no to show it as he dragged the map further toward him and hunched over it, his usual uncharacteristically good posture forgotten in his frustration.

“Okay, new approach then,” said Uraraka. She took a sandwich from the tray and spoke through a mouthful of bread. “A lot of these instances occurred near pro heroes offices—or U.A.—so what about the ones that didn’t? Is there something that connects those to heroes somehow?”

The new train of thought energized him a bit and flipped through the photos again, dividing them into two piles.

“We know this one fell on Suneater and Blitz’s patrol route,” he said, taking the top image from the smaller stack and adding it to the larger. “And the first responder to this attack was Mt. Lady, who was at a hair appointment in the salon on this street.”

Uraraka jotted notes on the backs of the photos as he talked.

When he finished, they had a pro hero for each attack, and Uraraka sat back in her chair and let out a breath.

“So it’s possible that our suspect is confirming that heroes will be on the scene before the attacks happen, but why?”

“And whose side is he really on?” Bakugou asked. “Because he could be confirming that heroes are there so that people don’t get hurt, or he could be planning on taking heroes down or—”

“Or showing incompetence in the pros,” Uraraka said quietly. An image of Stain flashed across her vision and she met Bakugou’s eye. He’d never really talked to any of them about what happened when he’d been captured by the League of Villains in their first year, but every once in a while he’d mention something about how some of them were trying to mimic the hero killer. “Maybe…maybe they’re trying to create civil unrest by showing that even with pro heroes, villains still end up doing whatever they want most of the time. We can’t be everywhere, and even when we are there—”

“The villains still get away.”

“Yeah.”

“That doesn’t explain what our suspect’s Quirk is or why he’s always the one there.”

“Well maybe we just need to catch him in action.”

Bakugou raised an eyebrow. “The odds of that happening are utter shit. They could attack a lot more people while we play stake out.”

“Maybe not,” Uraraka said, tapping a finger to her chin in a gesture she’d undoubtedly picked up from Tsuyu. “Look at the names and the dates.”

Bakugou did so, his eyes widening in realization. “He’s working his way up through the hero ranks.”

“Mhm. Mt. Lady was the most recent, and she’s what? Eleven?”

“Ten.”

“So Ryukyu’s coming up soon. I bet she’d give us her schedule if we asked.”

“And then what? Stalk her?”

Uraraka wanted to mention that all of this was his idea in the first place, but he hadn’t come to her for whining or excuses.

“Well, yeah. I’ve got a long range scope Hatsume made me after that thing with the tree. It’s worth a shot.”

“Fine. We start tomorrow.”

—

Bakugou was sulking in the lobby when Uraraka and Hado returned from their patrol.

“Ryukyu said she’d assign a higher level sidekick to watch out for the suspect,” Bakugou said by way of greeting, standing and steering Uraraka back toward the door with a hand on her arm. “She gave me access to the video footage from the cameras that save that kind of data, so we need to go through it and—”

“Stop for a second,” Uraraka said, planting her feet and resisting his pull. He did stop, and let go of her arm with an annoyed look on his face. “I’ve got to, you know, write my report and shower and change and get my stuff.”

She gestured back into the building and Bakugou’s eye twitched. The bags beneath them were darker than the day before, and Uraraka wondered how late he’d stayed up after he left her apartment. But of course, to ask would make it look like she was worried about him, and he wouldn’t stand for such things.

“Cool it with the Rage Aura,” she teased instead, an old joke that mostly served to irritate him further. “Give me an hour.”

“Forty-five minutes.”

“An hour. Where do you want to meet?”

“I was going to go back to your place. There’s a shit ton of construction next to my building and it’s irritating as fuck.”

“Then I’ll meet you there in a hour,” Uraraka told him, wondering when exactly he’d become so comfortable inviting himself over.

“Fine. Give me your key.”

“What? Why?”

“So I can go ahead and get started, shit-wit.”

Uraraka sighed, knowing that this compromise would at least appease him to some extent, so she pulled her apartment key from the small pocket in her boot and handed it to him.

“It um…it gets a little jammed,” she said, feeling awkward again at the quality of her living situation. “It helps if you bend it a bit to the right.”

“Yeah yeah, get going already. I can figure it out.”

Uraraka turned and began making her way back to her desk, but another thought had her whipping around to face him again with a hand on her hip. “And be nice to Pythagoras!”

“To who?”

“My cat.”

“You’re a fucking weirdo, Uraraka.” This, though, he said without much bite as he turned on his heel and left the building.

—

Uraraka almost had a heart attack as she walked down the hall to her apartment and a hand flew out of the neighboring unit and dragged her inside.

“Mrs. Takahashi,” Uraraka gasped, putting a hand on her chest as she stared at the small, grinning woman. “What are you doing?”

“He’s got a key.”

“Huh?”

“Your Katsuki. You gave him a key to your apartment!”

“My…what?” Uraraka’s brain felt like it was swimming through mud. The words 'your’ and 'Katsuki’ were not words that made sense together in the way Mrs. Takahashi said them.

But the older woman was, once again, on a different planet and completely ignoring Uraraka’s confusion. “Dare I ask if you’ve set a date for the wedding?”

Uraraka’s whole body turned red, like she’d been dunked in a vat of boiling water, and her tongue was thick and heavy as she tried to form the right words, but all that came out was a weak sort of “Wahh?”

“Too soon? I know kids these days are a bit more…open. Lots of young couples are moving in together before getting married, so no judgment from me, dear!”

“But…I don't—”

“Just so long as you’re safe, hun. As cute as you are, we don’t need any little Ochakos running around just yet.”

There was definitely steam coming out of Uraraka’s ears at that point, but fortunately, her phone started ringing in her bag. She fumbled with it, hands shaking a bit, and when she did finally flip it open, it was to none other than the man of the hour.

“Oy, you’re late!”

Uraraka glanced at her watch, her tongue unsticking itself so she could argue with him. “By one minute! Keep your hair on.”

She hung up over whatever he was going to say next and turned back to Mrs. Takahashi, who was, if possible, grinning even wider.

“Can’t wait to see you, can he?”

“Something like that,” said Uraraka, groaning internally at the fact that she was, at some point, going to have to explain all this and likely break the older woman’s heart. So, for the moment, she just shoved her phone back in her bag and said, “I should get back.”

“Have fun!”

Something like that, Uraraka repeated to herself.

When she walked into her apartment, she almost laughed.

Bakugou was sitting on the couch, a takeout container in one hand, a pen in the other, with a video going on the tv and another on his laptop on the coffee table. He scratched notes in a notebook with the same manic intensity as Deku while his chopsticks hung half-forgotten from his teeth and his wide-rimmed black glasses (which Uraraka had seen him in a grand total of two times) slipped down his nose. Pythagoras lounged across the back of the couch behind him, as blissfully oblivious as Mrs. Takahashi to the Rage Aura.

“Yours is in the fridge,” he said, again forgoing any expected form of greeting as his eyes flitted from one screen to the other to his notebook and back again.

Uraraka dropped her bag on the counter and noticed a new appliance, fresh out of the box, sitting next to her thrift shop toaster.

“Bakugou… Did you buy me a coffee maker?” she asked, annoyed that he thought she needed it, but also a bit amused. “Instant coffee isn’t that bad.”

“I had a spare,” he grunted, still not bothering to look her way. “My bat-shit crazy mom couldn’t decide on a brand so she bought me two. And yes. It is.”

She rolled her eyes, but smiled a bit because the King of Explo-kills cared about the quality of his coffee.

Not that he actually went by that name, but she liked to use it in her own mind because he was such a giant dork and he’d always tried so hard to hide it.

She grabbed her matching takeout container from the fridge and settled down onto the couch beside him, kicking herself a bit for making an effort to change into her nicer leggings and tank top this time—he was wearing a pair of baggy sweatpants and an old black skull t-shirt that she remembered from high school, one that was nearly coming apart at the seams with age.

“This one,” he began, unconcerned with everything but the task at hand as he gestured to the video on his laptop. “Is that street behind U.A. And that one’s the big bank ATM downtown.”

“So we’re just waiting for him to show up and see if he uses his Quirk?” Uraraka asked, popping open the cardboard container and digging in. How Bakugou knew to get her chicken udon with no mushrooms and extra broccoli was beyond her, but she didn’t press the issue as she tucked her feet beneath her and focused on the screens.

There were several hundred hours of video footage across the different cameras, and they quickly discovered that their suspect showed up at the scene more than once prior to the attacks, meaning they had to actually dig through each one for every sighting.

It was going on three in the morning when Uraraka, bleary-eyed and frustrated because they’ve barely made a dent, decided to call it a night. She kicked out a grumbling Bakugou and made him leave everything with her so that he could actually get some sleep for once (because, she told him, he was useless to her if he was exhausted). He protested, but eventually did as she said, and Uraraka fell into bed dreading that she had to be up in four hours, but also glad that she had something other than boring patrols to dedicate her time to.

—

They fell into a routine—Uraraka provided the place, Bakugou provided the food, and neither acknowledged the fact that the other was helping. To say something would break the balance, undo the dynamic, and Uraraka, for her part, was content to let it be.

They didn’t talk much, just spent hours and hours and hours together on the couch sorting through mostly useless footage, occasionally stopping to laugh at a weird person using the ATM or an awkward interaction on some unimportant street.

And Mrs. Takahashi continued to imply, and Uraraka continued to ignore.

—

It was a week into their research and they were still empty-handed. Uraraka was so tired, but unwilling to admit defeat another night in a row, so she pushed herself just a bit longer, sipping on her instant coffee (she refused to use Bakugou’s coffee maker on principle—it was his, he was just keeping it at her apartment) and blinking away the blur in her eyes.

Then, a weight slumped against her shoulder and she froze.

Bakugou had fallen asleep.

On her.

Bakugou had always been an in-your-face type of person, but in-your-space was a different matter altogether. He outrighted flinched when people touched him half the time, so this…

This was new.

If it weren’t for the bags beneath his eyes she would’ve woken him, but he’d been burning both ends of the candle for so long that this was probably his body’s way of finally telling him enough. And she couldn’t argue with that.

But still. The fact that he’d allowed this—given in to weakness, he would say—surprised her. Was he really so comfortable around her that it didn’t bother him? When had she crossed that invisible hurtle between bothersome acquaintance and…friend?

She would never say it aloud, but she was touched.

Wide awake with her thoughts spinning like a merry-go-round set to hyperdrive, Uraraka shifted, just slightly, pulling the laptop and notebook closer to her side of the table and continuing to work as Bakugou snored lightly against her shoulder.

The next morning, she awoke on the couch, having at some point been lulled to sleep by Bakugou’s even breathing. She sat up and blinked at the light filtering through the window.

Bakugou was gone, but there was a fresh pot of coffee waiting for her in the kitchen.

Uraraka smiled, because it felt a little like a gift and a little like a thank you.

And it all felt a whole lot like trust.

[PART TWO]

#kacchako #kacchako week #katsuki bakugou #uraraka ochako #bakugou x uraraka #bakuraka week #HELP I'M BEHIND #my writing

153 notes · View notes

onceuponaprincessworld · 6 years

Text

CaptainSwan One-Shots Recs p.11

Hello there! This is a new list of some astounding new and old One shots. There are all worth a read and a re-read. Hope you enjoy!

If you are intrested you can find my other lists here.

No More Running, @ilovemesomekillianjones

What happens when Emma doesn't seize her opportunity to tell Killian exactly how she feels about him? Based on the prompt, “you’re in the hospital for the holidays so i came in while you were sleeping to decorate your room i love you merry christmas” - from this post: http://nadiahilker.tumblr.com/post/133627477715/im-always-a-slut-for-a-christmas-au-i-know-we

anonymous swan, @swanandapirate

A Google Docs AU where Emma and Killian both get asked to beta-read something of David’s and start anonymously bickering about every conceivable grammatical and lexical and any other feature of the English language in the Google Docs Comment section but what happens after David decides to intervene?

Love Is A Ghost You Can't Control, @xemmaloveskillianx

We slept together once and I ran because I was scared you didn’t feel the same way I did. Now I’m the Maid of Honor at my brother’s wedding and you’re the Best Man and I can’t stop thinking about what happened between us.

The One With the Blackout, @imhookedonaswan

What can happen when two strangers are stuck in an ATM vestibule together during a black out?

For Practical Purposes Only, @tnlph

Emma convinces (it didn't take much) Killian to marry her so that she can adopt Henry. This is a fuller version of a short one shot that is probably buried somewhere in the "TNLPH Drabbles" story. People asked for a longer version. So... a year later... hope you enjoy reading a little more of the story.

Shelter from the Storm, @initiala

“Emma.” Mary Margaret’s got her ‘teacher voice’ on, which is really intimidating to the ten-year old living in Emma’s brain most days. “When did we forget to pay the gas bill?”

Luckily, while Mary Margaret goes to stay with David, Killian is more than happy to offer Emma shelter three days before Christmas.

Keep On Fallin', @resident-of-storybrooke

Emma Swan may be a successful bail bondsperson, but when it comes to her love life not so much. After several failed blind dates Emma is ready to give up, but Mary Margaret convinces her to give it one more shot. Is Mr. One Shot going to be the one? Or is she willing to risk taking a chance with her blue eyed gorgeous neighbor?

The Bookshop Around the Corner, @polarbearmorgan

For the past five months, Emma Swan has been talking to RollyJoger online, little does she know, he's actually the man that just might run her small bookshop out of business.

Prompt, @nowforruin

My favorite trope! ‘Enemies’ who secretly love each other forced to come to terms with their feelings. Smooching fluff ensues. Bonus if their friends had a bet on when they’d finally get together.

Scar of the Heart, @curiousthingdarkness

Emma Swan hunts alone. Except on nights when Killian Jones, fellow demon hunter and pain in her ass, insists on joining her. When dealing with a particularly troublesome beast, they discover that perhaps there is more to each other than meets the eye. Captain Swan soulmate/demon hunter AU, one shot.

A Cat By Any Other Name, @msgenevieve447

It's midnight on her first night in her new place and there's a cat in her kitchen. Which would be fine, but she doesn't actually own a cat, especially one that looks like it's planning the best way to get rid of her body without getting caught. (warning - there are shameless allusions to a certain sci-fi show in this fic)

fish out of water, @captainswanouat

Killian Jones truly just wanted to live a normal life. Go to class, come home, finish his education, and hide the fact that he is, in fact, a merman. He was into his final year of school and so far, nobody had caught on to his charade; but all good things must come to an end sometime and truly, it was his own fault it happened.

Based on the prompt: “I know it's late and I don't know you but I hear you can talk to fish and I'm worried my goldfish is depressed”

Half the world away, @ladyciaramiggles

Emma and Killian's friendship has grown from work colleagues to best friends and as Christmas approaches they intend to keep each other company, there's just a small matter of an ocean between them.

The Holiday Season(s), @once-uponacaptain

Emma Swan is not fond of holidays. But maybe a routine encounter with a local bartender could change that.

Untitled,@emmasinthebooknow

Captain Swan modern celebrity!AU: Emma is a famous actress, Killian is the (not famous) guy she just started dating. Because of Emma’s fame, the press is making things difficult, but Killian finds an unexpected way of reassuring Emma that he isn’t going anywhere.

Prompt, @awkwardnessandbaseball

Secret prince/princess.

Another Cliched Mountain Lodge Romance Novel, @spartanguard

Emma Swan, avid reader of romance novels, appreciates them for their vapid characters and incredibly unrealistic settings. She never imagined that she'd ever stumble into one—or that the man she'd find living alone in a mountain lodge would be the male lead in her own story. (Or how quickly it would escalate—and how okay with that she was.)

What a Year (for a New Year), @high-seas-swan

Killian Jones, Boston Bruins right winger, needs a break from the questions and concerns over his career-threatening injury. He thought Storybrooke would be the perfect place to escape to. What he didn't expect was Emma Swan, her kid and a holiday season he never knew he needed.

And I Don't Want To Go Home Right Now, @hollyethecurious

CS Hiatus Challenge Prompt - 'Iris' by the Goo Goo Dolls: Modern AU; Killian Jones had not left his apartment in two years, four months, and thirteen days. Not since he'd finally decided to shut himself away from the whole blasted world after a freak accident had left him without his hand, and for all practical purposes, his heart.

The Bench, @startswithhope

So, I’ve never attempted an AU before, so be gentle. I wanted to write a NYE fic and this is where my muse led me.

Prompt, @captainswanatk

city man/woman returns home to small town after being away.

Plan B, @lassluna

It’s New Years Eve and Emma has plans. It’s a good plan, she’s going to bring her boyfriend to a New Years Eve party where her brother won’t be able to kill him.

Except now Emma is inconveniently boyfriend-less, and all her friends are expecting him.

Emma Swan needs a new plan.

kiss me (on this cold december night), @jennifer-morrison

Maybe asking your best friend to pretend to be your boyfriend as you make a trip back home isn’t the smartest idea Emma’s had in a while. then again, how smart is Killian for actually saying yes?

The Unofficially Official Most Handsome Man in Storybrooke, @blowmiakisscolin

So, the prompt for this fic came about during a conversation with my dear friend Kristin last night. We were talking football, specifically about how the commentators of the 49ers-Texans game were very openly swooning over the hotness of our new quarterback for the 49ers (former NE Patriot Jimmy Garoppolo). They repeatedly brought it up throughout the game, even going so far as to do a “Handsome-Off” between him and Tom Brady. E-Network-style comparison clips of them running out of their respective tunnels and dreamy-soft-lit-close-ups of their faces included. It was borderline ridiculous and I loved it. K and I were highly amused by the swooning NFL commentators verbally drooling over Jimmy G. And then she had to go and plant the seed of:

“Yo, why did I just picture Leroy and the dwarves staging a Handsome-Off for David and Killian?”

Amas Veritas, emmaofmisthaven

“What’s your price?”

He opens his mouth, but no word come so he closes it. He tries a second time, “I don’t know. Isn’t the first born a thing or…?”

Emma makes a face. “No, gross. Something else.” She pouts, then she adds. “How about your happiest day? Does it seem like a fair trade to you?”

#cs ff #cs ff rec #cs fic rec #cs rec fic #CS fanfics #cs rec ff #cs fic #cs rec ff #cs rec list #my rec list #cs fanfiction #cs rec #captain swan fic rec

110 notes · View notes

miphastudies · 3 years

Text

17 Questions for 17 People

Thanks @its-bianca for tagging me in this! Sorry it’s taken so long, we’re in a third lockdown and I’m pretty sure my body thinks that time no longer exists.

Nicknames: Kim, Kimbo, Kimberlim, Kimothy, Kimberley Dibberley (For some reason my family thought that a nickname based off Cat’s other personality from Red Dwarf, Dwayne Dibberley, was funny and it’s stuck with me my whole life), as well as KIIII (shouted by my sister when she was about 2 and couldn’t pronounce my name, my best friend now yells it when she wants my attention) and Kim-Kim by my Dad who refuses to believe I’ve grown up (beats Kimberley Dibberley any day)

Height: 5'9 - towering over most men is fun, I suggest it to all of you, I’d rather round it up to six foot, but I probs stopped growing at 20.

Hogwarts House: Well I got Gryffindor when I first went on that site, but being my goth self I had to take the test again until I got Slytherin - as far as I remember I had unicorn hair (or horn?) or something of the like in my wand but I’m not gonna fuel JK’s anti-trans pockets by visiting Pottermore ever again.

Last thing I googled: The soundtrack for Futurama’s Luck of the Fryrish episode, I knew Simple Minds were on it but I could’ve sworn Baker Street by Gerry Rafferty was on it, but apparently not. I spent a good half hour trying to sing it into google with their new song-analysis thing to no avail, so I ended up siphoning through all the songs Lisa Simpson has ever played on her Sax to find out what it was (I should be doing my dissertation proposal but my tutors haven’t got back to me yet so what can ye do).

Song stuck in my head: yknow wha I’m just gonna list the songs that have been stuck in my head so far today because it’s too many to be just one as I keep cycling through them (also gonna link them so you can see how garbo weird my music taste is)

Run - Joji Alive - Pearl Jam Clinging On For Life - The Hoosiers Tension - Avenged Sevenfold Boots of Spanish Leather - Bob Dylan Nutshell - Alice in Chains Jaded - Aerosmith The Sea of Tragic Beasts - Fit For an Autopsy

I’ll add my current favourite at the bottom too for good measure (Honestly I spend way too much time listening to music and I regret nothing)

Number of followers: Currently 85. I’ve got about 2k on my main blog but I’ve not touched that since July 2017.

Amount of sleep: Good lord, so I aim for 8 hours, sometimes I only get 5.5 or something along those lines, other times I depression nap during the day and can’t sleep at all, sometimes (like this morning) I’ll go to get up at a normal person time such as 9am when my body naturally wakes me up, but it’s so dark and gloomy outside and cold in my room that I just stay in bed and end up accidentally falling back asleep. 12pm gang rise up xo

Lucky number: 7

Dream Job: Hopefully I get somewhat successful in monetising my hobbies, I’m working on it all atm (I don’t know why but I really hate telling people about my plans because I’m deathly afraid they’ll mock me or do whatever they can to ensure it doesn’t happen, I’ve got this list of things I need to do for my own mental health sellotaped to my laptop stand that had things like when to clean the house, do my laundry, shower, exercise etc, and my old flatmate/friend saw it the other week and mocked me, so I haven’t followed it since and need to find some sort of other way of organising my life instead). But yeah, hopefully hobby based, I don’t want to be stuck in an office job all my life, and I want to leave the UK (although I don’t want to leave my family) so hopefully I’ll be successful enough to bring em all with me.

Wearing: Well I was gonna wear jeans and my Unus Annus longsleeve but I decided to go full kitchen witch and wear this black milkmaid looking dress with long sleeves that I’d bought for work when I got my thigh tattoo started (all the old men appreciated the legs but I didn’t make any more tips, oops)

Favourite song: My favourite song of all time would be The Verve’s Bittersweet Symphony , the band formed at my college, has great meaning and has resonated with me since I first saw the music video after it was played at my Stepdad’s funeral in 2002. Weirdly enough on my last day of college, right after my last exam, I went to get the bus home - put my Spotify on shuffle (bearing in mind I’ve got 805 songs on this playlist) and this came on straight away. That’s probably not important to most people, but being pagan, I like to think that small things like these are signs from loved ones that have since passed. Not too happy that it’s used as the England Rugby theme because it gives me anxiety every time as though I feel like everyone hearing it doesn’t have the same emotional connection with the song as I do, but idk. I saw Richard Ashcroft live and he played this and I legit bawled my eyes out in public, safe to say I’ll try and hold it in next time. I suggest you all have a listen to the song or even watch the music video for it, it’s the most simple but most meaningful music video to me.

Favourite Instrument: I’m left handed and I had this Yamaha acoustic guitar that my stepdad gave me - and taught me to play when I was about 5, a few months before he died (it’s still weird to me that I had no idea he had cancer at that point and instead spent his last few months teaching me his favourite hobbies) all he had was right handed guitars, so he taught me to play Metallica’s Nothing Else Matters upside down on this 20 odd year old right handed acoustic. He hadn’t played upside down himself before but did it so I could see what he was doing. I remember sitting in our green living room on the couch with him moving my hands to the right position (I don’t know where my mum was in this scenario, probably in the kitchen). He’d brought this guitar with him the first day I met him, it was probably like 11pm but I was 4 and thought it was 3am or something, but I heard voices coming from the living room and had gone to investigate - there sat my mum and my stepdad having Chinese on the living room floor, laughing together, my stepdad saw me and had brought sweets for me and my brother for when we woke up, but he beckoned me over, gave me a lollipop, stuck a two litre bottle of tizer in front of me and told me to dip the lollipop in the drink and lick it (not a good idea as I would’ve been bouncing off the walls, but I think I must’ve had a sugar crash and fallen asleep). My mum had no idea he was coming as he’d sneakily been texting her, asking what her favourite drink was, her favourite food and flowers etc, after they met in a pub when my mum was at a hostel with my brother after my Dad had taken me. My mum told him that the council had given her a place and he decided to show up and surprise her with all her favourite things and play guitar for her after my brother and I had gone to bed, I don’t remember much time passing before we’d moved into his house (where my mum and her new husband live to this day), but they got married a few months later and I still can’t play that Metallica song (I did try to teach myself more of it though). I also had this black left handed Ibanez prestige that my Dad got me for Christmas about 9 years ago, I could play quite a lot on it but eventually just stopped. Very good at piano though.

Aesthetic: I’m not sure what this entails but I’m a sucker for neon/RGB/cityscapes and that type of malarkey. Also space. Love da space. Also whatever Cornwall would be considered as. Cottagecore? I think that’s only an animal crossing related aesthetic but I’m claiming it nonetheless.

Favourite Author: I’m a big goth so it has to be Stephen King by default. I’ve got copious first editions of his books from the 70′s and 80′s that my Mum bought when she was a teen. At my flat I’ve got Carrie, Christine, Salem’s Lot, Misery and The Shining first editions and the others are in my room at my Mum’s house. I don’t tend to read for joy like I used to, or write for fun either but I’m hoping I do more in 2021. Currently reading The Outsider by King, it sounds eerily familiar to a novel I wrote for coursework in college in 2014 and I’m half pressed to think he’s stole my brain ideas. I’m watching you Stephen. Always watching. Always.

Favourite animal sounds: I don’t have favourite sounds, but my husky Nanook is my favourite animal because he’s dumb and I love him. Also Kookaburra sounds are terrifying and you all should go listen to what a koala sounds like. When I go to Adelaide (hopefully this year, if not next) I am NOT stepping foot in a nature reserve unless I’ve got an anti-kookaburra noise suit on. They obviously don’t exist so I’m gonna have to make one.

Random: I’m part of a viking reenactment group where they use actual swords and fight each other, and we have to basically sign our lives away when we join, to say that if we die, it’s not the groups fault. I don’t actually do the fighting though, I’m part of the villager group, so I do all the crafting and food making and most of the teaching when we do shows. I’ve not yet been to a show as I’ve had uni to go to, but my parents, sister and brother do - They stayed within Whitby Abbey last year during the Viking festival where everyone did the show and the adults got drunk round campfires in the castle grounds. Zacky Vengeance once complimented my shirt if that’s something. I’m also colourblind, got glared at by Liam Gallagher in the Liverpool Echo Arena parking lot and have too accurate a sense of smell.

Sorry this was so long, obviously I felt like word-dumping and my brain has a lot to say as I find too much meaning in these things. Thanks again for tagging me! I’ve not got 17 people to tag as I don’t interact with anyone at the moment but I’ll come back to this and add people as the week progresses :)

#tagged #personal #asks

1 note · View note