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isitgintimeyet · 4 years

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Just A Friend

Hope you are all having a good weekend. I’m the only one awake, the sun is shining and I’m enjoying my coffee in peace and quiet. Bliss!

Thank you for the continuing support for this story. it’s lovely reading (and re-reading) all the comments.

Hope you enjoy this next chapter.

Thanks to @wickedgoodbooks for the beta.

AO3

Previous Chapter

Chapter 3: From Relationship To Release

You know, I’m a great believer in relationships. Relationships come in all shapes and sizes — take my relationship with Geillis, for example.

I met Geillis on my first day of postgraduate training at Glasgow Royal Infirmary. I was spending three months in orthopaedic surgery and she was just finishing her training as a theatre nurse. We somehow kept bumping into each other at social gatherings and found we had many things in common — a childish sense of humour, an intolerance of pomposity and snobbishness, and a love of cheesy rom-com movies.

From there, our friendship snowballed, and for many years now, I’ve called her my best friend. Even the arrival of a fiancé and her forthcoming nuptials haven’t lessened our relationship in any way. Our careers have developed in parallel too. So when a vacancy came up for a senior theatre sister at the Children’s hospital, I didn’t hesitate to recommend her for the post. We work well together. For all her joking around and flippant comments she is damn good at her job. And I love her.

I don’t think I love many people. I’m very fond of a lot of people, mainly my friends. But love? No. And certainly not the romantic, live-our-life-together type of love.

I see how it can work. I look at Robbie’s parents, for example. The way they are there for each other, supporting through all the worries with their son, their comforting touches and reassuring glances.They are a solid unit and I admire that.

I also see the way that Geillis’ face lights up when she talks about her fiancé, Dougal, and the way he watches her when we are all together in the pub. And I think it’s great, I really do.

But it’s not something that I’m seeking out for myself. I don’t think I’m cut out for that type of relationship. I don’t think there is someone out there, my soulmate, to spend the rest of my life with. And I definitely don’t think that I need someone else to complete me, make me whole.

That doesn’t mean that I’m a hermit. Far from it, in fact. I do date and enjoy it, but try to steer clear of any where-is-this-relationship-going type discussions.

It may well be to do with my childhood. I’ll admit, I’ve not had the most normal upbringing and that could have coloured my view of happily-ever-after love.

I’ve never been part of a conventional family unit. Well, I mean, I was for the first four years of my life —until my parents died in a car accident. And, at that age, how much can you remember? I do have some vague memories — rough tweed fabric against my cheek as my father’s strong arms lift me up, the smell of ‘Miss Dior’ perfume as my mother’s soft hands caress my cheek, the sound of laughter as we dance around the living room to Michael Jackson. But these are only fleeting recollections, ephemeral, gone in an instant.

All my real childhood memories are centred around one man — my uncle, Lambert Beauchamp. He, unhesitatingly, took me in when my parents died and became my guardian, my parent, my rock. He and I were a team, and I miss him every single day.

He was a confirmed bachelor, and I don’t mean that in a euphemistic way. He lived his life by his own rules and if he had been gay, he would have seen no reason to hide it. No, he had no need for romantic entanglements, no complicated relationships, no messy sexual encounters. He had two loves in his life — me and his work. He was a professor at the University, teaching archaeology and could, quite happily, get lost for hours in the bowels of the archives, studying ancient Somarian drinking vessels.

Growing up he was my role model, my yardstick against which to measure boys.

And over time, I've come to realise that I've always found myself attracted to the type of men which have certain ‘Lambert-esque’ qualities. Which leads me, I suppose, to Frank.

Just like my uncle, he’s a professor at the university. In history — more recent than Lamb’s studies only three hundred years ago, not three thousand. He’s single minded about his research, like my uncle, and he cares deeply about me, which makes me feel bad because I don’t feel the same way. Of course, I care about him, just not enough for a serious relationship that’s going somewhere.

All of this is a long winded way of saying what I’ve actually known for a while now... I need to break up with Frank.

*************

I’m just contemplating whether to brave the canteen or grab a sandwich from the hospital shop, when there’s a knock at my office door and a hand appears brandishing a couple of distinctive Gregg’s paper bags. This hand is closely followed by the rest of Geillis, who plonks herself down on one of my visitor chairs. A wonderful aroma of freshly baked goods wafts across the desk. My stomach rumbles in anticipation.

“Steak bake or sausage roll?” she asks as she places both bags on my desk, although she knows my preference.

“Ooh, how did you know I was just thinking about lunch?” I pick up one of the bags, the oozing gravy on its surface being a clear giveaway.

“We’ve been friends fer long enough,” Geillis smiles. “I ken what ye’re thinking. In fact, ye’ve something on yer mind right now. No’ a work thing. C’mon, spill.”

I swear, it’s uncanny. In the Middle Ages Geillis would undoubtedly have been tried as a witch. Her powers of deduction are that good.

I say nothing for a moment and focus on my lunch, blowing ineffectually on the hot meat filling.

“Weel? I’m waiting and ye ken I’m no’ a patient woman, Claire. This is tae do wi’ Frank, is it no’? Are ye planning on dumping him?”

See what I mean? Witchcraft.

“You make it sound so harsh. But I can’t carry on with Frank, he’s investing more into this… this—“

“Ye can say the word, Claire. Relationship… R… E…—“

“I know, I know. But I have to do something. I know Frank wants more than I want to give in this ‘relationship’.” I enunciate clearly just to make the point to Geillis. I’m not afraid of the word… I can say it.

“Anyway,” I add casually as I dab at the pastry crumbs with my finger. “I thought you’d be pleased. I know you’ve never liked him.”

Geillis tuts. “‘Tis no’ a matter of like. We jes’ havena got anything in common. He’s awfa serious and ye dampen yer personality down when ye’re with him. I’ve seen ye, ye canna deny it.”

I try to interject, but Geillis ignores my sounds of protest and carries on talking. “But it’s no’ jes’ Frank. Ye do this all the time, Claire. Whenever anyone tries tae get serious, ye run. What is wrong wi’ wanting a relationship anyway?”

“I have my work, I have my friends. I date, I go out with men, I have a good, if sporadic, sex life… and a trusty dual speed vibrator. What’s wrong with me wanting my life the way I want it?”

Geillis crams the end of her sausage roll into her mouth and chews vigorously for a minute. I pass her a paper serviette for her greasy hands. She gathers up the flaky pastry crumbs that have settled on her chest, wraps them in the serviette and pops it neatly in the bin.

“Ok, I get it. I’ll back off. But all I’m saying is dinna close yerself off tae the possibility of a real relationship, aye?”

Knowing she's gone as far as she can with this topic, she gets up and heads for the door. “Nae rest fer the wicked. Oh, and Claire, jes’ one thing…”

She pauses dramatically. “Dinna forget… ye’ve gravy on yer chin.”

And with that she disappears, leaving me with a heavy feeling in the pit of my stomach caused by more than the calorie ridden pasty.

I am just settling down to dictate some patient letters when Frank texts to suggest dinner at my favourite Italian restaurant. This isn’t good. It’s a lovely restaurant, the kind of restaurant where special occasions are celebrated— birthdays, anniversaries, declarations…

So I have to lie… no, not lie, fib. I text back pleading a heavy day in theatre — aching feet, headache and so on.

His concerned response makes me feel bad. No need for fibbing, I do feel pretty shitty now. However, it also makes me more resolved to do what I have to do. I can’t drag this out, causing him more and more hurt. So, I invite him to my flat this evening instead.

*******

I have a final glance in the mirror in my bedroom. I do actually look a bit worn out. I haven’t really put any makeup on, just a touch of mascara and a slick of lipstick, which I have already managed to chew off.

My hair is, as per usual, a bit wild and untamed. I have a bathroom shelf full of products promising smooth and manageable curls, but have yet to find one that actually delivers on their promises. I tuck my hair behind my ears, pinch my cheeks to try to look a little less pale and head to the front door.

Frank is as punctual as ever. Unlike other things in my life, he’s always delivering on his promises. Which makes me feel even worse. I have nothing to accuse him of, no unacceptable behaviour— apart from wanting more than I’m prepared to give. That old cliché, “it’s not you, it’s me”, really is appropriate here. I’m going to try not to actually say those words though. He deserves more than that.

And so I take a deep breath and open the door. He stands there expectantly with two bottles of wine, one red and one white, in his hands.

“I wasn’t sure what we would be eating, so I got both just in case,” he volunteers as he walks in and leans close to me for a kiss.

I give him my cheek and make a fuss of taking the bottles from him to deflect my lack of affection.

He follows me into the lounge. I’m sure he notices that I make no offer to pour the wine. I set the wine on the coffee table and perch on the end of the settee.

Frank takes my hands. “Claire, darling, are you ok? Has it been a rough day?”

I shake my head. “It’s not been the best. Frank… I…”

I can’t even look at him now. I take a deep breath and plunge in. “Frank, I… the thing is… I don’t know how… I think we should stop seeing each other.” The words tumble out of my mouth like a deluge.

I finally look up as Frank releases my hands and walks over to the window. He stands still, his back to me, as if just taking in the view. Then he turns to face me, staring intently at me, scrutinising my face as if looking for a glimmer of hope. The silence is unbearable.

“Frank, it’s not you—“ I try to fill the void, by resorting to stale old clichés after all.

“Spare me that platitude.” He snaps at me. “We’re not fifteen. This was… is… serious to me, Claire.”

Frank now moves to sit next to me. His hand rests on my thigh, his fingers lightly drawing circles on my jeans. I watch for a moment. Am I supposed to move it? Should I remind him he no longer can touch me like this?

His voice softens. “I lo—“

“No, please, Frank. Don’t say it. Please don’t. You are such a nice man. You don’t deserve this.” Gently, I lift his hand and place it on his leg.

“Then don’t do it. Tell me, Claire, what do I have to do? What changes do I have to make for us to move forward? I’ll do it, tell me. We can make this work, I know.”

What do I say now? Anything I say will only hurt him more. All I can do is apologise and try to explain.

“I am sorry, really. It’s just, well, you want more than I can give. You think about a future—“

“And what’s wrong with that? That’s what most people want, Claire. Planning for a future together— a home, a family… our family.” Frank’s getting angry now, raising his voice.

“Please, I’m trying to explain. You want a future life together and I can’t give you that. I’m sorry that I’m hurting you.”

“Is there someone else? Is that what this is all about?”

I’ve been trying to remain composed, to give Frank the explanation he deserves. But this question annoys me beyond belief, as if I have to be one half of a couple.

“I can’t believe you asked that. No, it’s not about another man. I can’t be what you want me to be and that’s it.”

He stands up now, right in front of me. His hands are down by his sides, so tightly clenched into fists that his knuckles are white against the slight tan of his skin. For a fleeting nanosecond, I wonder if he is going to hit me. But, of course not, he’s just trying to gain control of himself.

“That’s it, then.” The words are spat out with venom.

“You know I’m sorry.”

He shrugs dismissively. “Of course. Well, goodbye.”

He makes for the door.

“What about the wine?” I indicate the two bottles, still on the table. It’s a pointless trivial comment, I know, but for some reason I don’t want him to think I expect to keep them.

Frank doesn’t even look over his shoulder. “Consider them a parting gift.”

And with that, he's gone.

I remain sitting motionless, processing what I’ve just done. It’s not easy hearing those words, but neither is it easy to have to say them. So many emotions are coursing through my body — sorrow, guilt, regret, self-reproach, worry. And in the midst of this maelstrom, there is one thing I can clearly recognise — a glimmering spark of relief.

#outlander fanfiction #outlander fan fic #Just a Friend #Jamie Fraser #Claire Beauchamp #bit more Geillis #Chapter 3

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thecoleopterawithana · 4 years

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Songwriting is like psychiatry

[Dear @eppysboys, your wish is my command.]

There are bound to be thickheads who will wonder why some of it doesn't make sense, and others who will search for hidden meanings.

'What's a Brummer?'

‘There's more to "dubb owld boot" than meets the eye.'

None of it has to make sense and if it seems funny then that's enough.

— Paul McCartney, in the Introduction to John Lennon's In His Own Write (1964).

When we had a party in the States to celebrate having finished the album, someone came up to us and said 'Hello, Venus. Hello, Mars.' I thought, 'Oh. no.'' When I write songs, I'm not necessarily talking about me, although psychoanalysts would say "Yes, you are, mate." But as far as I'm concerned, I'm not.

— Paul McCartney, interviewed for the promotion of Venus and Mars (1975). In Paul Gambaccini's Paul McCartney: In His Own Words (1976).

I don’t examine myself that way. I just am. I just go through it. I just wake in the morning and go to bed at night and whatever happens during the day just happens. I don’t really know how I am.

— Paul McCartney, in Music Express: ‘Paul McCartney Wings It Alone’ (April/May 1982).

I’m not a great reader into moods: I don’t naturally say that if I wrote a sad song then I was sad that day, or if I wrote a happy song I was happy. I compose songs like playwrights write a play. They don’t have to know everyone in the play, they don’t have to know anyone in the play, it’s just a product of their imagination.

— Paul McCartney, speaking of ‘Somedays’, interviewed for Club Sandwich n°82 (Summer of 1997).

“There are a lot of mindsets when you’re writing a song – and one of them is commercial,” he admits. “It’s like any job, where if you do a certain thing you’ll progress in that job. In songwriting it’s an unspoken thing, but I recognise it. I remember hearing somewhere that people like sad songs, so I thought, ‘OK, I’ll write a sad song.’ I knew what I was getting into…” So, in a way, you were acting when you wrote [Yesterday]? “Yes. I wrote from the point of view of someone who was sad. But when you’re taking on a part, it’s usually you you’re writing about. Your psychiatrist would say it’s you.” Later, someone suggested that lyrics such as, “Why she had to go, I don’t know” were about McCartney’s mother who’d died when he was 14. “I certainly felt that way when she died. So when I sing Yesterday now, it does make me think about my mum. It’s more personal than I realised it was.” You sense that the older he gets, perhaps the more McCartney is prone to analysing his gift.

— Paul McCartney, interviewed by Mark Blake for Q: Songs in the key of Paul (May 2015).

This series – I just woke up one morning and I had a germ of an idea, which is all I want really. I don’t want too formed an idea, it’s just not who I am. [...] I woke up with this thing and I thought it would be just a black canvas and these three-fingered scratches, like someone in prison and they’re either trying to get out or they’re trying to mark the dates. [...] But then a shape emerged with this blue, and I still don’t know what it is. It looks vaguely phallic, or somebody’s ass bending away from you. But that’s what started to fascinate me. It’s probably an accident, but also what I like about that is the inner content, that I have no idea what my dreams are about. I’ve no idea, yet they’re every bit as real as sitting here with you. But my interior world, I think it’s not a bad idea to try and tap it.

My view is that these things are there whether you want them or not, in your interior. You don’t call up dreams, they happen, often the exact opposite of what you want. You can be heterosexual and be having a homosexual dream and wake up, and think, “Shit, am I gay?” I like that you don’t have control over it. But there is some control – it is you dreaming, it is your mind it’s all happening in. In a way my equation would be that my computer is fully loaded by now. Maybe in younger people there’s a little bit of loading to go, but mine’s loaded pretty much, so what I try and do is allow it to print out unbeknown to me. And I’m interested to hear what it’s got in there.

I think we must be interested as musicians as often our music arrives that way. I dreamed the song Yesterday. It was just in a dream, I woke up one morning and had a melody in my head. So I have to believe in that.

— Paul McCartney, in “Luigi’s Alcove” by Karen Wright, for Modern Painters (August 2000).

I think a lot of these songs like 'Tell Me Why’ may have been based in real experiences or affairs John was having or arguments with Cynthia or whatever, but it never occurred to us until later to put that slant on it all.

— Paul McCartney, in Barry Mile’s Paul McCartney: Many Years From Now (1997).

I was standing at the door and he was in bed, and we were talking about the lyrics of 'I Am the Walrus’, and I remember feeling he was a little frail at that time, maybe not going through one of the best periods in life, probably breaking up with his wife. He was going through a very fragile period. You’ve only got to look at his lyrics - 'sitting on a cornflake waiting for the van to come’. They were very disturbed lyrics.

— Paul McCartney, in Barry Miles’ Many Years From Now (1997).

I remember giggling with John as we wrote the lines ‘What do you see when you turn out the light? I can’t tell you but I know it’s mine.’ It could have been him playing with his willie under the covers, or it could have been taken on a deeper level; this was what it meant but it was a nice way to say it, a very non-specific way to say it. I always liked that.

— Paul McCartney, in Barry Miles’ Many Years From Now (1997).

"Sex is something I prefer to do, rather than sing about. Hi Hi Hi was from a period when everybody was getting stoned and having sex… I suppose singing about sex is not really in my genre. [...] It’s the same with trying to write angry songs,” he continues. “I can’t do it.” Really? “Yes. I wrote a song called Angry. Recorded it here with Phil Collins and Pete Townshend. At the time I thought, ‘Wow, we’ve really slammed this…’ I can be angry but I can’t find a natural way to put it into a song. It’s the same with sex."

— Paul McCartney, interview w/ Mark Blake for Q: Songs in the key of Paul. (May, 2015)

McCartney has written some of the world’s most famous love songs, but has he ever worried about revealing too much of himself? “Yes, but you’ve got to get over that feeling quickly, because that’s the game.”

— Paul McCartney, interviewed by Mark Blake for Q: Songs in the key of Paul (May 2015).

It’s funny because just in real life, I find that a challenge. I like to sort of, not give too much away. Like you said, I’m quite private. Why should people, know my innermost thoughts? That’s for me, their innermost. But in a song, that’s where you can do it. That’s the place to put them. You can start to reveal truths and feelings. You know, like in ‘Here Today’ where I’m saying to John “I love you”. I couldn’t have said that, really, to him. But you find, I think, that you can put these emotions and these deeper truths – and sometimes awkward truths; I was scared to say “I love you”. So that’s one of the things that I like about songs.

— Paul McCartney, on the challenge of giving too much of himself away when writing meaningful and truthful songs. Asked by Simon Pegg and interviewed by John Wilson for BBC 4’s Mastertapes (24 May 2016).

Songwriting is like psychiatry; you sit down and dredge up something that’s inside, bring it out front. And I just had to be real and say, John, I love you. I think being able to say things like that in songs can keep you sane.

— Paul McCartney, interview with Robert Palmer for the New York Times (25 April 1982).

[McCartney (1970)] was kind of… therapy through hell.

— Paul McCartney, interviewed for the Q magazine (2007).

GILBERT: Do you find it easier to write good records in a darker period of your life than in happier periods? You’ve lived through more than a few bad episodes…

PAUL: That’s a good question, I’m not sure. I think the answer is neither and both. I think it’s good when you’re in a dark period, the good is [the song’s] your psychiatrist, it’s your therapy, and you know we have many tales – anyone who writes has. Going away when you’re really upset about something and putting it in your song – you come out of that cupboard, toilet or basement and go, “I really feel better.” You’ve actually exorcised the demon. So it is one of the great joys of songwriting.

GILBERT: What would be an example of a song you wrote in a very angry or dark mood?

PAUL: I think the words of ‘Yesterday’, when I see them now I think there were quite a few of my songs like that, you know, bad moods made better. More recently ‘Calico Skies’ [evoking memories of Linda]; ‘Little Willow’ [for Maureen Starkey] was one I wrote about a friend when she was dying and, in fact, she did die, so those kind of things can help. With ‘Yesterday’, singing it now, I think without realising it I was singing about my mum who died five or six years previously, or whatever the timing was. Because I think now, “Why she had to go, I don’t know, she wouldn’t say, I said something wrong…” I think the psychiatrist would have a field day with that one. (Sings) “Yesterday, all my troubles seemed so far away / Now it looks as though they’re here to say” – there’s a lot of those songs, that’s just three where I can remember going into a hiding place with a guitar, purposely to exorcise your demons. It’s like writing your dream out or something, and it’s a physical effect where you come back out and you’ve created that magic again, pulling the rabbit out of the hat. “Where did that come from? Wahey!” It’s a great feeling.

— Paul McCartney, interview w/ Pat Gilbert for MOJO: Don’t look back in anger. (November, 2013)

Q: Do you have a song that you put on if you’re ever having a hard time or a bad day, and it instantly makes you feel better?

PAUL: There’s a track [’I Don’t Know’] on Egypt Station that came out of a hard time I think would fit the bill now! […] it’s funny what inspires you to write songs. For instance, John started writing ‘Help!’during a crisis at that time in his life, which is often a good motivator ‘cause there’s a therapy aspect to writing songs sometimes - but not all songs! It’s almost as if you’re telling your guitar your troubles and a lot of composure can be found through that. So you sort of say what you might say to a therapist, but you put it into a song and you might feel better afterwards. You don’t have to be going through terrible times, just something that’s frustrating.

— Paul McCartney, in You Gave Me The Answer (28 March 2019)

Q: ‘I Don’t Know’ opens with the lyric, “Crows at my window, dogs at my door, I don’t think I can take it anymore.” This imagery does seem pretty bleak for a comeback.

PAUL: Well, I was in a bleak mood. It’s a well-known fact, you talk to a lot of songwriters, that they write good songs from being in a bad mood. It can often be a really good motivating factor, because you don’t care. You can’t just go out to your friends or your relatives, and just start going, 'I’ve got crows on my window.’ You don’t necessarily want to just go and complain about everything, but you can complain to your piano, in this case, or your guitar… It’s a great therapy.

Q: Doubt and regret [hardly] seem to be things that people associate with you.

PAUL: It’s funny, isn’t it? People think that about me, that well, when you reach my position… you end up with no problems at all. But that’s unrealistic, because you’re in life. And if like me you’ve got a big family, there’s gonna be some sort of problem, even if it’s just someone’s ill. So realistically speaking, you have to think that it’s very likely that most people you know can have problems. Even President Obama. Even John Lennon. Even Taylor Swift. We’ve all got problems, and that’s what makes us all so human.

— Paul McCartney, interview for BBC 6 (20 June 2018).

The idea is that what I’ll leave behind me will be music, and I may not be able to tell you everything I feel, but you’ll be able to feel it when you listen to my music. I won’t have the time or the articulation to be able to say it all, but if you enjoy composing you say it through the notes.

— Paul McCartney, regarding Ecce Cor Meum, which premiered in 2001.

I have to leave And when I'm gone I'll leave my message In my song

Tangents

The Walrus | A case study for John’s struggles with meaning in song

The Surrealist | Meaning and Magritte

I Can’t Tell You How I Feel | Expressing emotions and feelings [statements in songs]

This One | A case study for Paul’s struggles with expressing feelings

I’m Scared To Say I Love You | Paul’s struggle with saying ‘I love you’

#Paul McCartney #John Lennon #the beatles #songwriting is like psychiatry #I don't examine myself that way #The Surrealist #A very non-specific way to say it. I always liked that.#Did I ever open up my heart and let you look inside?#I'll leave my message in my song #but the saving grace was as usual music #compilation #macca #johnny #linda #my stuff

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moonlightreal · 3 years

Text

So, this book is a scam.

Kind of. Accidentally maybe? So I took a family studies class and my teacher listed Annual Editions: The Family as one of our required textbooks. So I bought it, since required. But when I was writing one of the assigned article summaries i was too lazy to walk across the room and get the book so i googled the article and there it was free on the internet.

It wasn’t until class was almost over that it occurred to me to wonder just how many of the articles were free on the internet and spent a few hours googling every title in the book. Out of 56 articles four were only available to people with a subscription to The Atlantic and six I could only find as abstracts.

So my classmates and I dropped good money mostly for free articles! A scam? I can’t think of any other word for it. During a global pandemic while some of us have lost our jobs. That’s pretty epic scummy. Did our teacher know? I did ASK the teacher-- nicely, didn’t want to accused her. She dodged the question and just said “students like having the articles all in one place.” I don’t think my kind teacher was scamming us, I think she just didn’t think. The publisher may actually be epic scummy.

So if you get assigned an Annual Editions, try to wrangle a list of articles out of your teacher so you don’t have to pay for it. And then be angry. In these uncertain times we gotta protect people from scumbaggery when it appears.

Annual Editions: The Family Forty-Third Edition

Unit 1 Evolving Perspectives on the Family

1.1 Five Reasons We can’t Handle Marriage Anymore by Anthony D’Ambrosio

https://blog.cambly.com/2015/07/25/five-reasons-we-cant-handle-marriage-anymore/

1.2 Family matters by W. Bradford Wilcox

https://slate.com/human-interest/2014/01/new-harvard-study-where-is-the-land-of-opportunity-finds-single-parents-are-the-key-link-to-economic-opportunity.html

1.3 The New Nuclear family by Suzy Kimm

https://newrepublic.com/article/122349/new-nuclear-family

1.5 Migration and Families Left behind by Sylvie Demurger

https://wol.iza.org/articles/migration-and-families-left-behind/long

1.6 American’s (sic) Think Their Own families Are great But like Judging Other People’s, A New report Suggests by Amanda Marcotte

https://www.salon.com/2016/10/24/americans-think-their-own-families-are-great-but-like-judging-other-peoples-a-new-report-suggests/

1.7 Why We Need to separate Kids from tech—Now by Martha Ross

https://www.mercurynews.com/2015/05/19/why-we-need-to-separate-kids-from-tech-now/

Unit 2 Exploring and Establishing Relationships

2.1 What Schools Should Teach Kids About Sex by Jessica Lahey

https://www.theatlantic.com/education/archive/2015/03/what-schools-should-teach-kids-about-sex/387061/

2.2 Sex and the Class of 2020: How Will hook-ups Change? By Conior Friedersdorf

https://www.theatlantic.com/politics/archive/2014/10/what-sex-on-campus-will-look-like-for-the-class-of-2020/381572/

2.3 There’s No Such Thing as Everlasting love (According to science) by Emily Esfahani Smith

https://www.theatlantic.com/sexes/archive/2013/01/theres-no-such-thing-as-everlasting-love-according-to-science/267199/

2.5 Sliding Versus Deciding: How Cohabitation Changes Marriage by Galena Rhodes

http://familyinamerica.org/files/9014/7274/6179/Rhoades.pdf

2.6 Is There a Shortage of Marriageable Men? By Isabel Sawhill and Johanna Venator

https://www.brookings.edu/blog/social-mobility-memos/2015/09/22/is-there-a-shortage-of-marriageable-men/

2.8 Teen Moms need support not shame by Alex Ronan

https://www.thecut.com/2015/05/teen-moms-need-support-not-shame.html

2.9 What Happens to a Woman’s Brain When She Becomes a Mother by Adrienne LaFrance

https://www.baby-chick.com/what-happens-to-a-womans-brain-when-she-becomes-a-mother/

Unit 3 Family Relationships

3.1 Can Attachment Theory Explain All our relationships? By Bethany Saltman

https://www.thecut.com/2016/06/attachment-theory-motherhood-c-v-r.html

3.2 The Marriage Mindset by Annemarie Scobey

https://www.thefreelibrary.com/The+marriage+mindset%3A+lasting+love+isn%27t+just+a+matter+of+the+heart...-a0464449743

3.4 The Divorce Lawyer’s Guide to Staying Married Forever by Janet Clegg and Hilary Browne Wilkinson

https://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-3728507/The-divorce-lawyer-s-guide-staying-married-forever.html

3.6 Parenting Wars by Jane Shilling

https://www.newstatesman.com/lifestyle/lifestyle/2013/01/parenting-wars-tiger-moms-versus-helicopter-parents

3.7 Raising a Moral Child by Adam Grant

https://www.nytimes.com/2014/04/12/opinion/sunday/raising-a-moral-child.html

3.8 The Collapse of Parenting: Why it’s Time for Parents to grow Up by Cathy Gulli

https://www.macleans.ca/society/the-collapse-of-parenting-why-its-time-for-parents-to-grow-up/

3.9 The Science of Siblings by Francine Russo

https://parade.com/23970/francinerusso/the-science-of-siblings/

3.10 How to Make Peace With your Siblings by Evan Imber-Black

https://www.nextavenue.org/how-make-peace-your-sibling/

3.11 The Sandwich Generation Juggling Act by Sherri Snelling

https://www.forbes.com/sites/nextavenue/2015/12/18/the-sandwich-generation-juggling-act/?sh=614ed73e2643

3.12 More Grandparents Become Caregivers for Grandkids. Is That Good? By Jessica Mendoza

https://www.csmonitor.com/USA/Society/2016/0216/More-grandparents-become-caregivers-for-grandkids.-Is-that-good

Unit 4 Challenges and Opportunities

4.1 Anguish of the Abandoned Child by Charles A. Nelson III, Nathan A. Fox, and Charles H. Zeanah Jr.

https://bettercarenetwork.org/sites/default/files/anguish%20of%20the%20abandoned%20child.pdf

4.2 An Epidemic of Children Dying in Hot Cars by David Diamond

https://www.kidsandcars.org/2016/06/29/an-epidemic-of-children-dying-in-hot-cars-a-tragedy-that-can-be-prevented/

4.3 Gluten-free Baby: When Parents Ignore Science by Aaron Hutchins

https://www.macleans.ca/society/health/gluten-free-baby-when-parents-ignore-science/

4.4 Family Privilege by John R. Seita

https://reclaimingjournal.com/sites/default/files/journal-article-pdfs/10_3_Seita.pdf

4.5 Terrorism in the Home by Victor M. Parachin

https://www.coursehero.com/file/26982014/English-3docx/ Full article seems not to be available.

4.6 When Your Parents are Heroin Addicts by Tracey Helton

https://www.thedailybeast.com/when-your-parents-are-heroin-addicts

4.7 “We Never Talked About It”: As Opioid Deaths Rise, Families of Color Stay Silent by Leah Samuel

https://www.statnews.com/2017/02/13/race-stigma-opioid-death/

4.8 Growing Pains: Are Perfect Families a Recipe for Stress? By Vanessa Thorpe

https://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2016/may/08/perfect-families-stress-exhaustion-modern-parents

4.9 Your Kid Goes to Jail, You Get the Bill by Eli Hager

https://www.themarshallproject.org/2017/03/02/your-kid-goes-to-jail-you-get-the-bill

4.10 Separation Anxiety: How Deportation Divides Immigrant Families by Hank Kalet

https://www.njspotlight.com/2016/11/16-11-29-separation-anxiety-how-deportation-divides-immigrant-families/

4.11 Myths about Military Families by Jennifer Woodworth

http://www.eparent.com/military-uncategorized/myths-military-families/

4.13 Working Hard, Hardly Working by Chris Sorenson

https://www.macleans.ca/work/trendswork/working-hard-hardly-working-our-problem-with-productivity/

4.15 Supporting the Supporters: What Family Caregivers Need to Care for a Loved One with Cancer by Leonard L. Berry et all

https://ascopubs.org/doi/full/10.1200/JOP.2016.017913

4.17 Why Do Marriages Fail by Joseph N Ducanto

https://www.newsweek.com/2015/05/29/breaking-hard-do-arkansas-why-divorce-laws-are-getting-stricter-332531.html

4.18 Breaking Up is Hard to Do in Arkansas: Why Divorce Laws Are Getting Stricter by Tracey Harrington

https://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2015/nov/22/children-divorce-resolution-survey-rather-parents-separate

4.19 Children of Divorce: 82% Rather Parents Separate Than “Stay for the Kids” by Owen Bowcott

https://herstontennesseefamilylaw.com/2013/02/28/helping-children-endure-divorce/

4.20 Helping Children Endure Divorce by Marlene Eskind Moses

https://aifs.gov.au/publications/family-matters/issue-92/effects-co-parenting-relationships-ex-spouses-couples-step

4.21 The Effects of Co-Parenting Relationships with Ex-Spouses on Couples in Step-Families by Claire Cartwright and Kerry Gibson

https://aifs.gov.au/publications/family-matters/issue-92/effects-co-parenting-relationships-ex-spouses-couples-step

Unit 5 Families, Now and into the Future

5.1 The Changing American Family by Natalie Angier

https://www.nytimes.com/2013/11/26/health/families.html

5.2 What Will the Family of the Future Look Like? By Ann Berrington and Agnese Vitali

https://www.weforum.org/agenda/2016/05/what-will-the-family-of-the-future-look-like/

5.3 Why Are Fewer People Getting Married? By Jay L. Zagorsky

https://news.osu.edu/why-are-fewer-people-getting-married/

5.4 Relationships in the Melting Pot by Tina Livingston

https://www.bacp.co.uk/bacp-journals/healthcare-counselling-and-psychotherapy-journal/july-2015/relationships-in-the-melting-pot/

5.5 Family Diversity is the New Normal for America’s Children by Philip Cohen

https://contemporaryfamilies.org/the-new-normal/

https://familyinequality.wordpress.com/2019/11/23/family-diversity-new-normal/

5.7 Strengthening Ties: the Case for Building a Social Policy Centered on Families by Phillip Longman et al.

https://static.newamerica.org/attachments/2886-strengthening-ties/FCSP%20Framing%20Paper.40ac19781c8346d59786b2b1cc973fae.pdf

Articles in The Atlantic, only available with a subscription:

2.7 Not Wanting Kids is Entirely Normal by Jessica Valenti

https://www.theatlantic.com/health/archive/2012/09/not-wanting-kids-is-entirely-normal/262367/

2.10 Sperm donor, Life Partner by Alana Samuels

https://www.theatlantic.com/business/archive/2014/12/sperm-donor-life-partner/383421/

3.3 Masters of Love by Emily Esfahani Smith

https://www.theatlantic.com/health/archive/2014/06/happily-ever-after/372573/

3.5 The Gay Guide to Wedded Bliss by Liza Mundy

https://www.theatlantic.com/magazine/archive/2013/06/the-gay-guide-to-wedded-bliss/309317/

Articles that were not obviously available, or only available as an abstract:

1.4 Bridging cultural divides: The Role and impact of Binational families by Samantha N.N. Cross and Mary c. Gilly

https://www.researchgate.net/publication/270406380_Bridging_Cultural_Divides_The_Role_and_Impact_of_Binational_Families

2:4 Dating as if it were Driver’s Ed by Lisa Jander

4.12 A Whole-Family Approach to Workforce Engagement by Kerry Desjardins

https://stemecosystems.org/wp-content/uploads/2019/09/awholefamilyapproach.pdf

4.14 In Whose Best Interests? A Case Study of a Family Affected by Dementia by Rachel Webb and Karen Harrison Dening

https://www.semanticscholar.org/paper/In-whose-best-interests-A-case-study-of-a-family-by-Webb-Dening/501267662dc1ec43bf8f4f563dd40a2ac39cf10d

4.16 The Challenges of Change: How We Meet the Care Needs of the Ever-evolving LGBT Family? By Nancy A. Orel and David W. Coon

https://asu.pure.elsevier.com/en/publications/the-challenges-of-change-how-can-we-meet-the-care-needs-of-the-ev

5.6 Family strengths and Resilience by Eugene C. Roehikepartain and Amy K. Syvertsen

https://eric.ed.gov/?id=EJ1039018

#textbooks #annual editions #is it a scam?

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giftofshewbread · 3 years

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Created Problems (Prophecy update)

By Daymond Duck Published on: August 22, 2021

Created problems are piling up in the U.S. as the globalists continue their effort to weaken America and establish a world government by 2030 or sooner.

These are facts, not conspiracy theories.

Oil—The Biden administration deliberately reduced America’s oil production by stopping construction on the Keystone XL Pipeline, halting oil production on federal lands in Louisiana, New Mexico, etc., and this caused the price of oil to soar. Now, Biden wants production increased to bring the price of oil back down, but he doesn’t want U.S. companies and U.S. workers to increase production, get their jobs back, etc.; he wants OPEC and foreign workers to increase production and have those jobs.

Crime—The Defund the Police movement has resulted in police budgets being cut in many cities, thousands of criminals being released from jails, soaring shootings, killings, and thefts; this is by design because globalists want to gain control of the police.

Border—The Biden administration has deliberately destroyed what few immigration laws the U.S. had. This week, Biden’s Homeland Security Sec. visited the U.S./Mexico border and was secretly recorded saying the border crisis is unsustainable (just the opposite of what he is saying in public). About one million immigrants (many with Covid) have come across the border, drug and human trafficking have increased, etc., and there is no effort to stop it (just an effort to hide what they are doing by lying about it.).

Covid—Only U.S. citizens are required to wear masks and be tested. Illegal aliens are not required to be masked or tested, and many are deliberately bussed and flown to other parts of the U.S., especially TX and FLA (at taxpayer expense) in what appears to be an effort to spread Covid, turn TX and FLA from Red to Blue (from Republican to Democrat) and blame unvaccinated citizens for spreading Covid to justify forcing everyone to be vaccinated for the global good or the common good (deceptive phrases meaning world government).

Inflation—Inflation is rising faster than wages are increasing, meaning money is declining in value and buying less and less. There seems to be two reasons: 1) Unending stimulus packages with pork-barrel spending, and 2) Disruption of production due to the deliberate spread of Covid and imposed lockdowns. This is increasing the price of everything (food, clothing, vehicles, rent, mortgages, medicine, etc.; gas is $1 per gallon higher than it was this time last year). It is destroying the U.S. economy and hurting every American, especially the poor.

Critical Race Theory (CRT)—Socialists have increased their power in the Democrat Party, and they are pushing CRT (a new form of segregation) to divide the U.S. They know that a nation divided against itself cannot stand. Why else would they want to re-establish segregation? Note: On Aug. 16, 2021, the Arkansas Attorney Gen. said separating children based on race violates the Equal Protection Clause of the U.S. Constitution.

Afghanistan—Biden told America the Afghan military had enough modern weapons and troops to defend itself. Then, we read that Biden sent a letter to the Taliban asking them to hold off taking over the country until we could evacuate our people. Then, we read that most of the major Afghan cities fell in 24 hours. Then, we read that the Afghan capital fell a few hours later. Then, we read that Biden offered the Taliban foreign aid for a promise to not attack the U.S. embassy.

Biden’s hasty exit sends the message that America is not a reliable ally; it dooms thousands of Afghan soldiers to death that helped the U.S.; it dooms Afghan women to second class citizenship, covering their face, etc.; it dooms Afghan girls to forced marriages, no education, etc.; it dooms Afghan boys to brainwashing, very little education, etc.; it dooms Afghan men to beatings, amputation of limbs, etc.; and it dooms the Christians to convert to Islam or be executed. Thousands of Americans were injured or killed in Afghanistan, and Biden squandered everything America accomplished in a matter of hours.

Update One: On Aug. 16, 2021, it was reported that French Pres. Macron was advised to call an emergency meeting of the EU Council because “the security of the world” is in danger. Some EU leaders say an Islamic Caliphate in Afghanistan will be a serious threat to the western world.

Update Two: On Aug. 16, 2021, an editorial in a Chinese-affiliated newspaper declared that war will break out between China and Taiwan, and the U.S. will not help Taiwan. Amir Tsarfati said China, Russia, and Iran are declaring that the post-American world order is over, and he believes that Russia and Iran no longer believe the U.S. will help Israel if they decide to launch an attack.

Update Three: On Aug. 17, 2021, it was reported that China has been emboldened by America’s apparent weakness, and her military is already preparing to practice an attack on Taiwan.

Update Four: On Aug. 17, 2021, it was reported that the Taliban is already sending letters to house churches saying, “We know who you are, and we’re coming for you.” The Antichrist will use beheadings as a terror tactic, and the Taliban does that too.

Here are some of my afterthoughts on Biden’s Afghan debacle.

Biden had a choice. He didn’t have to run. He was advised against it, but he did it anyway.

Biden has led America to defeat in the War on Terror, and his claim to love women and children is nothing more than a campaign slogan that he used to get elected (tell the women and children of Afghanistan that Biden loves them).

The Taliban, Iran and others will declare that Allah has given Islam a major victory over the Great Satan and be encouraged to fight harder (and Biden has just given them weapons worth many millions of dollars). They are surely blaspheming God, His name, and His people.

The success of radical Islam will increase the pressure on Israel and the Arabs to sign a peace treaty.

Israel must realize that she needs to rely on God, not America.

Biden has created a breeding ground for Islamic terrorists, and a borderless world is more dangerous than ever. (The security of the U.S. is threatened by America’s open border, and the Taliban won’t hesitate to cross it.)

It is clearer than ever that the Christian’s hope is the Rapture, not a better, stronger America.

As the world grows darker, the cries for a world leader to solve the world’s problems will grow louder.

God brought Afghanistan (and Babylon) down in a matter of hours, and He can bring the U.S. down in the blink of an eye if He wants.

The U.S. is led by people that are following Satan or it wouldn’t be supporting a godless world government, godless world religion, abortion, gay marriage, censoring Christian ministries, etc.

Biden raised the gay flag over our embassies, and the Taliban will probably take it down and raise their flag over our embassy.

There are many reasons to believe the lukewarm church needs to wake up, or God will eventually bring our sin-filled nation to its knees.

Here are some more reasons to believe that the Rapture is close.

One, deceit and lying have existed at least since God created Adam and Eve, but it will be common practice at the end of the age.

What could be more deceitful than deliberately spreading Covid-19 and blaming it on the unvaccinated?

Could it be internment camps to deliberately incarcerate the falsely accused unvaccinated?

This writer has seen several reports lately that the CDC is planning to have incarceration camps in every U.S. city.

Several sources have reported that on Aug. 6, 2021, TN Gov. Mike Lee signed an executive order authorizing the National Guard to seize unvaccinated people for incarceration.

Natural News reported that it has information that the CDC has been working with the University of Chicago to develop a plan to call homes in an effort to determine if there are any children between 6 months and 17 years in the home that have not been vaccinated.

The activation of incarceration camps in every U.S. city and perhaps a phone call to every household is very troubling.

It has also been reported that starting this month in New York, Los Angeles and San Francisco, people will not be allowed into restaurants, theaters, and several other venues without proof of vaccination.

This writer is far from knowledgeable on Covid-19 and the mutations or variants, but this is some of what I have read and the way I understand it:

The Covid-19 virus doesn’t want to be killed by a vaccine, so it tries to stay alive by mutating.

Some medical professionals believe the mutations are developing in and being spread by vaccinated people.

This explains why the world will never reach herd immunity (vaccinate so many people on earth that the spread of Covid-19 is unlikely). For whatever it is worth, about 2/3 of the new Covid cases in Israel are people that have been fully vaccinated.

Here is a repeat from my last week’s article with the addition of one sentence: we are seeing the global development and advancement of technology and policies that many excellent Bible prophecy teachers believe will lead to the Mark of the Beast (forced compliance, loss of one’s job, development of passports or passes, a demand for government databases to track people, a demand to prevent the unvaccinated from entering stores to buy or sell, the spread of anti-Christian rhetoric, etc.). We are seeing a preview of things to come and a warning from our merciful God (that knows what is going to happen before it happens) to be sure we are saved.

Two, concerning earthquakes:

On Aug. 11, 2021, a 7.1 quake struck off the coast of Mindanao, Philippines.

On Aug. 12, 2021, an 8.1 quake struck near the South Sandwich Islands (South Atlantic Ocean).

On Aug. 14, 2021, a 7.2 quake struck Haiti. Three days later, it was reported that 6,900 were injured, 1419 were killed, and 84,585 homes were damaged or destroyed.

On Aug. 14, 2021, a 6.9 quake struck in the Gulf of Alaska.

On Aug. 16, 2021, as Haiti was trying to deal with the 7.2 quake, Tropical Storm Grace was bearing down with strong winds and perhaps as much as 8 inches of rain (up to 15 inches and flooding in some areas).

Three, concerning an increase in frequency and intensity of natural disasters (like birth pains): on Aug. 14, 2021, The Moscow Times reported that Russia’s Pres. Vladimir Putin said the scale of natural disasters (floods, droughts, and forest fires) that have hit Russia this year is “absolutely unprecedented.”

According to the article, “Russian weather officials and environmentalists have linked the increasing intensity of Siberia’s annual fires to climate change.”

On Aug. 15, it was reported that at least 51 people have been killed by floods and mudslides in Turkey.

On Aug. 16, the U.S. announced that the water level in Lake Mead is at the lowest level since the Hoover Dam was built in the 1930s, a water shortage on the Colorado River was declared, and it was announced that there will be water cut-backs in 2022. Farmers and ranchers will cut production.

Four, concerning the Battle of Gog and Magog: on Aug. 13, 2021, Monte Judah (Messianic World Update) said, “It is very clear that the IDF and the government of Israel is planning to attack Iran soon to stop the nuclear weapons program. This is evidenced by the fact that the IDF, the Air Force, has been running long-range bombing training missions with the nation of Greece, and they have been doing in-flight refueling and other things of that type with Benny Gantz, the Defense Minister, announcing and giving warnings to the U.S. and other nations that Israel is going to stop Iran if they continue to do it.”

FYI: Several pastors say they are being inundated with requests for a “Religious Exemption Letter.” Here is a link to a letter that Rock Harbor Church (Rev. Brandon Holthaus) is using, and it can be printed off:

RHC Religious Exemption for Vaccines and PCR Swabs.pdf

Finally, are you Rapture Ready?

If you want to be rapture ready and go to heaven, you must be born again (John 3:3). God loves you, and if you have not done so, sincerely admit that you are a sinner; believe that Jesus is the virgin-born, sinless Son of God who died for the sins of the world, was buried, and raised from the dead; ask Him to forgive your sins, cleanse you, come into your heart and be your Saviour; then tell someone that you have done this.

#news #cute #home #lifesyle #sports #weather #music #movie #pics #vids #august #2021 #art #western #country

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purplesurveys · 3 years

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1227

survey by seaachange

Do you ever feel guilty after you masturbate? When I was younger, yeah. Not so much anymore.

What is the most you have ever weighed? I would guess I’ve passed the 100 lbs mark every now and then, so those times. I can’t seem to gain weight no matter how much I eat, though.

Would you ever work at McDonald's? I know nothing about food preparation/customer service/restaurant management, so it’s probably a no for me.

If you aren't already, would you go vegetarian or vegan? Yes, if we had more food/grocery options AND cheaper options. Having specific diets is an expensive endeavor here since it’s mostly still seen as a fad.

Are you an activist of any kind? I have my advocacies and I’m very vocal about them, but I wouldn’t call myself an activist. I think I should be doing more to be able to identify myself as one.

What do you think of feminism? Agree with it and I’ll always fight for it.

Have you ever done anything sexual with the same sex? Well I dated a girl for six years in total...

Are you a member of any dating sites? I used to have Bumble on my phone after my friends’s prodding, but I deleted it like a week ago after it’s been just sitting on my phone for months. I used it for...I wanna say only two days? and it was just for an ego boost after my breakup since it felt nice to see people click match on me lmao. I never entertained any of them, though.

Coolest person you've ever met? Probably my uncle Rob.

Have you ever gone to a strip club? I’ve never gone inside one, actually. That’d be nice to experience at least once.

If not, would you ever go? Sure.

Do you wear boxers? Nope.

Girls, how old were you when you first learned how to put in a tampon? I’ve never used a tampon before. Not really common here (and so are other period products other than pads), although very recently I’ve seen more awareness campaigns for them which is great.

Would you ever attend a gay pride parade or festival? Like...a general festival? Right now, I’m leaning towards the latter.

Most ghetto area you've been to? Tondo.

Do you listen to The Dream? I have heard some songs produced by him, but I don’t think I’ve heard anything that he himself sang.

If so, what's your favourite song by him? Coming from the last question, Beyoncé’s Partition.

Do you download music via Limewire or file sharing? I used to, but those days are far behind me lol. I stream on Spotify.

Have you ever used a torrent? ^ Yes, mostly for movies but I occasionally downloaded albums too.

Did you see Paranormal Activity 2? Yes. But I don’t think I was able to finish it because I got too spooked.

Have you ever been so scared of a movie you had to leave the theatre? No because I paid for that ticket.

Have you ever been to Canada? I have not.

One place you want to visit before you die. I would love to go to Chicago.

Have you ever gotten in a fight with someone in school? Not physical, but yeah.

What would you do if an old man grabbed your ass? Realistically, and based from previous experiences, I would probably be too shocked to react and most likely cry once I’m able to process what happened. Ideally I would smack them in the face, age be damned.

Do you like moustaches? I’m neutral.

Know any hipsters? Erm, I don’t think so.

What about gays? Sure.

Does the song that gets on everybody's nerves get on your nerves? What’s that song though?

Is daylight savings time kicking your ass? We don’t follow that here, and it’s rarely affected me.

Could you hack into someone's computer if you tried hard enough? I wouldn’t even know how to start.

Have you ever smoked a cigar? No and I don’t think I would ever be interested in trying. I’m not a big smoker as it is.

What is one thing you want for Christmas this year? I’m getting myself BTS merch for sure. I’ve stopped expecting certain gifts from family/friends since I’m earning on my own now; they can get me anything and I’d be over the moon with them.

Do you go out on Black Friday? We don’t follow that either. Is that the one with the big sales? Idek.

Do you have curtains in your bedroom? Not curtains, but blinds I can pull up and down.

Did you like the Spice Girls when you were little? Nah, I was too young for them.

Can you sing the entire Fresh Prince of Bel Air theme song? For like...a week. I watched and got hooked to the show for a very brief time last year and managed to memorize the theme song, but I wouldn’t be able to recite it today.

Do you get heartburn? Only when I eat something excessively greasy. I remember getting bad heartburn right after eating KFC’s Double Down sandwich lol.

What internet browser do you use? I’ve always used Google Chrome.

Are you scared of elevators? If it’s in an old, not-super-maintained building and I have to ride it alone, then yes.

Have you ever seen a dead body in person? Only when they were already laid to rest in a coffin. Nothing beyond that.

Have you ever seen The Goonies? Nopes.

Do you think Michael Jackson was really a sex offender? I don’t know and I don’t really think about this.

If you're white, do you ever wish you were black? Or vice versa? I’m perfectly fine being brown.

Do you bake cookies all the time around Christmas? No, I never really bake.

Do you like your hair pulled? Erm...as in during sex? Hahaha yeah, sure.

Do you crack your toes? I don’t think I can do that. I’ve probably tried to do it before, though.

What kind of cellphone do you have? An iPhone 8 that is quickly running out of memory especially after starting to get hooked to BTS with the amount of photos and videos I save per day lolol

Have you ever visited a college for a weekend? I didn’t do that before starting college, no.

Are you in college? Not anymore; I graduated last year.

What is the furthest you will go away from home for college? I didn’t move out when I was in college.

Funniest youtube video you've seen? I watch a lot of funny videos on YouTube but I’m not too sure about the funniest. Maybe one of the BTS or Good Mythical Morning compilations I’ve stumbled upon?

Are you scared of public restrooms? Not scared; they’ve just always grossed me out, even pre-pandemic.

Do you still go trick or treating? Nah but I wouldn’t decline if my friends suddenly plan one as adults.

#survey #surveys

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sombreboy · 4 years

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Love Maze »17

Previous » Next Series Masterlist ▎ 18+ ▎ pairing: Taehyung x Jungkook ▎ genre: School AU, crack humor, smut, angst, ETL, slow burn, fluff. ▎ word count: 3.6k ▎ ch.warnings: cursing, some angsty themes, smut/unprotected sex (jisoo x jk sorry not sorry again), they’re both a mess and everything is a mess but dw they’ll figure some shit out soon enough.

Co-writer: @velvetwicebang ♡♡♡

“Okay, something’s definitely up.”

Hoseok snorted, “Yeah, Jimin’s dick when he talks to that dud—“

The smaller boy harshly elbowed Hobi on his ribs, unfazed as the elder hunched over with a grunt.

“Guys, take this seriously.” Namjoon sighed, stretching alongside Hoseok and Jimin, looking over at Taehyung from a distance. The couple hadn’t shared a single word since this morning— much less a sappy glance!

Tae seemed like he’d been crying all night, eyes puffy from the tears shed onto his pillow.

“You think they ended things? I mean, they were— Oh, hey Jungkook!” Namjoon forced a strained smile, trying to appear lowkey about the situation.

“We were just talking about... Jisoo! Uhm, you still mad?”

Fucking hell, Joon couldn’t seem to give himself a break, can he? He’d once again cornered himself.

Jungkook was caught up in his own train of thoughts until Namjoon's voice broke him out of it, the sudden halt in his steps obvious to all. His eyes widened at the mention of Jisoo, and suddenly his eyes flickered between everybody until they landed on the floor, his long curls falling over his eyes,

''Uh,'' He shrugged lightly, ''She's fine.. Uh, she's good. Don't worry.'' There's no way he'd tell them what had happened last night... He looked up at Namjoon and gave him a lopsided smile, ''All forgiven.''

Namjoon wasn't sure what he expected, but surely it wasn't that response. He rubbed at his nape, nodding once, twice,

''Okay, great..? Ehh, alright-- let's begin!''

The other men groaned, they really wanted answers. But it was obvious that right now wasn't the time, maybe during breakfast? Would the boys sit next to each other?

Jungkook stayed close to the group as they began, his eyes finding Taehyung eventually-- and his chest felt like it was being stepped on. It was hard to breathe... So, he looked away, deciding he would ignore him. That was what Tae wanted after all. So, he shouldn't even feel guilty for what he did with Jisoo...

Kook clenched his jaw, shrugging his thoughts off, replacing them by focusing on practice with everything he's got, going hard until he was a breathing mess drenched in sweat.

Taehyung snuck outside during breakfast, perched high up on the bleachers. It was his only doable option for a spot if he didn’t want to be a part of Yerin’s circle..

‘You’re gay? We should totally gossip about guys!”

“Oh my gosh, I have these face masks.. amazing!”

They had the audacity to invite him over to a sleepover. A fucking sleepover!

Tae sighed in defeat, closing his eyes as he indulged himself in the morning’s cool breeze.

Now that he was more at ease, he went over his options once again.

If he sat with his friends, Jungkook would be there.

Sitting with Kai and Haechan was out of the question— obviously. They stared him down like he was some freak every time they passed him in the crowded hallways, succeeding at pointing him out from the rest.

That’s how Taehyung felt, like an elephant surrounded by wild birds. He felt stuck while everyone else had the option to fly away.

“Fucking sucks..” The boy groaned, trying to stay collected throughout all of this.

It was easier said than done.

“So.. Jungkook?” Jin mumbled through a mouthful of cereal, taking notice of the empty seat that was normally reserved for the younger’s boyfriend. “Where’s Taehyung? Is he a ghost or something..” Jin chuckled a bit at his own joke, slurping another spoonful whilst his curious eyes were trained on Kook.

Jungkook munched his sandwich, this time around he didn't feel like eating any sweets at all. The marshmallows would just taste... sour in his mouth at this point.

Jin's question had the younger glance over at the empty seat, replying with a shrug,

''I don't know.''

Jin stopped mid-slurp, eyes widening a bit at the nonchalant response from their youngest.

''You guys fight?'' Yoongi asked, blunt as always.

''Uh....Yeah.'' Jungkook took another bite off his sandwich to avoid speaking further.

''Why?'' Jin chimed in once more.

''I don't wanna talk about it right now, okay?'' the younger groaned, pushing himself off the table, ready to leave.

''hey, hey, wait-- you don't have to, we just worry, okay? You guys go on and off so much lately.'' Jimin raised his hand to try to get Kook to sit back down, for once looking up from his phone.

Jungkook shrugged once more. ''We're done. Don't worry about it.'' He left it at that, even if he just said he didn't wanna talk about it. He picked up his tray and left, a deep sigh pushing through his lips. He knew it was true-- but saying it out loud was... Harder than he thought.

He left the dining hall to go grab a banana milk from the vending machine, impatiently tapping his foot against the floor as he waited for it. When it finally dropped, he grabbed it and headed to sit outside of the building until the next class and sip on his drink, for once his eyes were glued on his phone. Jisoo had texted him a photo of herself and Yuna, the two girls bringing a smile to his lips.

Maybe it wasn't all that bad.

~~~

Jisoo waited patiently in her apartment, gaze occasionally switching between the tilted clock on her wall and the TV. It was an hour past the time school usually got dismissed.. Jungkook should be home, right?

The woman felt like such a creep, but her desire to see him was much stronger after last night’s events. She even went out of her way to buy condoms, if that didn’t scream ‘desperate for you to fuck me’ Jisoo didn’t know what did.

Even if they didn’t end up having sex, the woman would be perfectly fine with doing nothing. As long as she was next to Jungkook.

“You can do this, Jisoo..” She hyped herself up, grabbing the container of leftover soup.

The girl stopped in front of Jungkook’s door, knocking on it a few times.

Her heart was beating really fast, it was embarrassing..

Jungkook put his playstation controller aside as he heard the knock, getting up to saunter towards the door. Part of him already knew who it could be, and peeking through the small hole he was right. He fixed his hair up, well-- as far as good would go with his long curls, combing through the mess with his fingers a few times. He'd changed into comfy attire as he got home; a deadly combination of grey sweatpants and a fitted v-neck.

''Noona!'' A wide smile through closed teeth greeted Jisoo as he opened the door.

“Hi!” The woman saluted back, meeting his level of enthusiasm in her voice. Her face, however..

She took a double take at Jungkook’s outfit, jaw permanently going slack. He looked cozy enough to cuddle with, that’s it. Jisoo really shouldn’t make it this obvious..

“Uhm..” The flustered girl tucked a strand of her hair behind her ear. “I just wanted to give you this.” She extended the container of last night’s soup out to him, figuring Jungkook would enjoy it more than her. It was a blessing that the younger praised her cooking, but Jisoo wasn’t too confident in her choppy skills.

“So, yeah.” The woman stuck around, rocking back and forth on her feet.

“Without Yuna home, I had the chance to do a lot more stuff.”

She breathed out, looking up at Kook to see if he got the shitty hint.

“I-I cleaned? Actually managed to set up the kitchen.. it was a productive day!— because Yuna’s at my sister’s place..”

Jisoo poked her tongue against the side of her cheek, stifling a little smile.

She was making it so obvious, wasn’t she? The woman failed to feel embarrassed, though. It was Jungkook she was talking to, he was like family..

Jungkook grabbed the container, his face lit up with excitement at the mere thought of food that wasn't microwaved instant noodles.

"Ahh you're the best noona...." he gave her a toothy grin, and it faltered as soon as she mentioned that the little child wouldn't be around for now-- he did miss her.

"Okay, well, do you want to... come inside? I have to put this in the fridge.." he cringed internally at his lame attempt at inviting her. "I don't think you've really seen my place much anyway-- it's not that impressive, but.."

With her hands tightly clasped in front of her, Jisoo willingly followed Jungkook inside.

The woman pivoted around in her spot, the background sound effects from the PlayStation making things less quiet.

“Woah, it almost looks like my apartment!” Jisoo laughed, studying her surroundings a bit more. The hole in the wall was a little hard to ignore, but she didn’t bring it up.

All was still too fresh, that was her best bet.

Jisoo met him in the kitchen, leaning against the counter as she watched him put the container in the fridge. It made her happy that she was able to help out in any way..

“I missed you.” The older woman suddenly blurted out, “I mean.. you’re the only person I know here.”

Jungkook flashed her a smile as he closed the fridge. He almost blurted out 'what about namjoon'-- but that wouldve been really dumb...

"Yeah?" He crooked an eyebrow, stepping closer until he was practically towering over her small frame. He placed each hand on the counter adjacent to her body, tilting his head to the side with an innocent grin, "I missed you too~"

He couldn't help it, Jisoo drew out this side of him-- he became coy, her innocence was almost as alluring as his own. And since he's..well, a guy full of raging hormones, last night only made him feel needier.

His face inched closer to her flushed one, his breath sweet as he observed her features. She looked a little extra pretty today. Did she finally get enough sleep? Or did she put extra effort into her appearance before coming?

Jisoo’s brightly tinted lips curled inwards into a thin line.

Her eyes popped out from the subtle shade of brown temporarily etched onto her crease, as well as a natural reaction to Jungkook’s significantly broader body lingering extra close to hers.

She looked up at the younger man, feeling like a helpless ant in his presence.

He was easily gifted with the strength of hurting her without even trying. Just one flick of his fingers and Jisoo was done for! It was a little degrading that she had to be the one to strain her neck in order to meet his gaze, but maybe she liked the way he made her feel small..

The condom in the back pocket of her shorts pressed against her the more she leaned back against the edge of the counter, wanting to tease Jungkook by making him wait.

“You missed me?”

Jisoo bit down on her lip, stifling a blinding grin. Her eyes gave it away, however.

“I’m glad..”

Her soft hands traveled up to his chest, merely resting them there as she propped herself up on her tiptoes. The woman kissed him slowly, relishing in the intimate taste of banana milk and.. potato chips? Either way, Jisoo was a fan of the strange yet addicting combination.

Anything Jungkook had to offer was worth it.

Jungkook hummed in response, immediately feeling like his lips were melting against hers. They were so small-- everything about her seemed too delicate; another magnetic quality of hers.

"Yeah," he breathes out in a haste as their lips separated for a mere second before his hands finally found her waist to effortlessly lift her up on the counter, giving her an opportunity to meet his height. Kook positioned himself between her spread legs, one hand cupping her face to draw her in for another kiss as his other hand settled on her thigh, squeezing it softly between his fingers.

She yelped in initial shock, nearly tipping over the small vase of dorky flowers from behind her.

Jisoo hungrily dug in for seconds, fingers weaving through his long locks. Her milky thighs closed in on Jungkook’s torso, apparent goosebumps marring the silky skin.

The woman pulled away to snag her lost breaths, hands carefully cradling Kook’s face.

Jisoo shifted around a bit, deepening their clouded gazes.

“What is it that you’re thinking of right now..”

Jungkook caught a quick glance at the vase, the flashback from when Taehyung had given him those flowers replayed in his mind for a split second, causing him to freeze. But just as quickly -- Jisoos question brings him back to the present. He stares into her needy eyes, and he allows himself to simply drown in them, clouding his memories just enough for the initial sting in his chest to go away.

Jisoo was here with him... she's never hurt him. She cares. She wants him.

But does he truly want her?

Maybe he does. And maybe was enough for him right now.

"I'm thinking.... that I want you." It wasn't a lie. But he wouldn't tell her about his swirl of thoughts previous to the need he now indulges in. He needed to desperately forget about Tae.. Kook grasped her hips, hard, and pressed his hips up against her core, the already growing bulge prominent fighting the restraints of fabrics. "Feel that, noona?"

“M-mhm..!” Jisoo nodded with a brisk inhale, surprised at how hard he was.

“I want you, too..” She whined from the close proximity, “All of you.”

Closing her eyes, the woman softly gyrated her hips against his rock hard bulge— impatient to get the private show started.

“Hngh..” The corner of her lips twitched, shamelessly rubbing up on him faster than before, harshly bucking her heated core into Jungkook’s fat cock. A strained moan left her parted lips, lustful eyes fluttering open once again— yet not fully, her gaze was dimmed with want. It was as if she had something lingering on the tip of her tongue.

“Call me Jisoo..” The said woman curtly left it at that, loving the way her name dripped from his mouth.

"Jisoo..." He let her name roll off his tongue, his tone lowering several octaves at her desperation for him. He loved being wanted like this. He decided to swiftly lift her once more, arms tightly wrapped around her, hands grasping her ass to keep her pressed against his body as he headed towards his bed. At first, he'd glanced at the couch-- but that was too stained with memories...

He gently placed her on her back on top of the soft duvet, her legs dangling off the edge & his eyes blown wide with awe at the sight beneath him. Wasting no time, he curls his fingers around her waistband to tug it down-- eager to once more see what he'd gotten a taste of last time.

She stared up at the swirling ceiling with obvious suspense, biting down on her lip as she awaited Jungkook’s next move. The man was so unpredictable, yet not.

Jisoo would be one hell of a liar if she said it wasn’t the least bit nerve wracking. Despite what everyone else might think, she wasn’t the most confident in her body. One of her hands rested atop her stomach, scared that Kook possessed the freaky power to make out the faint stretch marks through the fabric of her shirt. The woman’s soppy cunt clenched around nothingness, excited for Jungkook’s touch.

Jungkook peeled the fabrics down and threw them on the floor, dropping to his knees by the foot of the bed between her legs, hands pulling her further down closer to his face. He takes a good look, curiosity and arousal evident in his gaze. He's a little nervous, honestly. He's never done this before-- but man, would he try his best. He always wants to do well, whatever it is.

''Gonna taste you, okay?'' He gives Jisoo a heads up, but doesn't wait to actually get a reply before he inches closer, a flattened tongue licking one long, slow lick along her slit.

Her spine promptly arched up from the duvet, the perky nipples on her soft chest straightforwardly pointed up towards the ceiling. The hand that once rested on her stomach now gripped a handful of Jungkook’s hair, hips jittering as the latter gifted her pussy the slightest bit of attention. Still, it was more than enough for someone as sensitive as Jisoo.

Namjoon didn’t take his sweet time with her.. maybe that’s why she was enjoying Jungkook much more.

A low groan emitted from Kook’s throat at the sweet taste, nothing like anything he's ever had on his tongue. Different, for sure. He wasn't sure exactly how he liked it, but it wasn't...terrible.

He started to feel more confident by the reactions he managed to draw from her, allowing his tongue to explore her folds, spreading them with his thumbs. The glistening juices seeped out for him-- it was incredibly alluring.

''So sweet..'' He murmured into her cunt before lapping at her juices, growing greedy for more of her sounds. As he went on, continuously and slowly licking at her pussy, he found her swollen clit; giving it a gentle suck as he used one finger to tease at her hole.

Her frail body squirmed under his brazen administrations.

Jisoo’s other hand grasped onto a handful of the sheets whilst her spread legs quivered, Jungkook’s long curls occasionally grazing against her inner thigh.

“O-oh god...” The woman threw her head back with a pitiful whimper, losing the common ability to string together coherent sentences. She was too caught up under Jungkook’s spell— more specifically the way the man’s dexterous tongue worked on her smooth folds, cleaning Jisoo up only for her to wet his nose and lips even more. Her rosy cunt was a watergate. She liked giving the younger man something to look forward to..

Jungkook groaned quietly when she gently tugged at his long curls, the way her body tensed up and relaxed under his ministrations only spurred him on to want to do more, to make her feel good. His long, calloused finger sunk into her soppy hole, some of her juices leaking down to his knuckles. The younger's mouth never stopped working her clit, alternating between flicking his tongue and gentle sucks. He felt her cunt throb around his finger, deciding to add a second digit to fill her up further as his other hand reached down to unzip his pants and pull his own length out to jerk himself off.

''Jisoo..'' he pulled back momentarily, placing chaste needy kisses on her lower lips, ''Want you to taste me too...please?''

Jisoo was fucked— completely and utterly stuffed with the overwhelming sensations bursting from within her, causing her to jolt in her own skin. For a supposedly gay man, Jungkook was doing one hell of a satisfying craft. He knew where her sweet spots hid, how to drive her over the edge just enough for Jisoo to incoherently beg for more, her soaked cunt squeezing onto his thick, nimble fingers.

The younger man was.. everything.

His unpredictable skills in the bedroom only added to her intense infatuation.

At the hot, raspy sound of her name, Jisoo detached the back of her head from the mattress.

Her skin was a crimson color as she lustfully gazed down at him; Kook’s chin and nose were smothered in her juices. And despite the circumstances, he mirrored a perfect painting.

The woman slowly sat up on the duvet, biting down on her lip at the enticing sight of Jungkook’s large cock.

“You’re already leaking..” She cooed to herself, hands sensually running up his muscular thighs, dipping at his noticeable V-line.

Jisoo sat up, only to kneel down in front of Jungkook.

“Jisoo noona is going to make you feel good, okay?”Her smaller fingers wrapped around the girthy base, giving the rigid skin a teasing squeeze. “Jungkookie, you’re so big..”

She pressed an open mouthed kiss onto the reddened tip, deliciously staining her lips with the man’s precum. “I don’t know how it’s going to fit..” A string of glistening liquid ran down her inner thighs. With one last look at his face, Jisoo’s warm mouth engulfed the mushroom tip, slowly sinking down onto the remaining inches.

His eyes quiver at the switch in her demeanor, his aching length already twitching in her mouth with every graze of her nails on his thighs-- aside from the obvious tongue that was teasing the underside of his cock while she sunk down on him. Now this sensation was something he was more familiar with..

"Shit..." he hissed out in no direction in particular, eyes widening at how well she took his cock, "S-slower...." he stuttered out, jaw clenched. He knew he wouldn't even be able to hold himself from cumming if Jisoo went too fast.

With a vague hum, she paced herself like he’d demanded her to do. Jisoo hollowed out her cheeks whilst she hungrily swamped the remaining inches into her tight mouth, tongue skillfully lapping over the gritty, yet smooth foreskin. She immersed herself in her work, the tip of Jungkook’s cock effortlessly prodding at the back of her throat. Jisoo’s nails clung on deeper to the protruding muscles, bobbing her head to a continuous beat as she desperately fought the tears stinging at her clenched eyes, the soreness in her jaw not a main factor as she continued to suck him off. All Jisoo could think about was having his cock in her, stretching out her cunt instead of her mouth.

Jungkook allowed himself to indulge in this feeling for a short while, but as his greed is begging for more, his hands gently moved the fallen strands of her hair away from her face. He places a palm on her cheek, urging her to stop.

"I want..." his voice was breathy and needy, cock still twitching in her mouth at his own words, "I want to fuck you…?" Maybe it sounded like a begging, or maybe he was asking himself; did he want to? He was pretty sure. His entire being was clouded with lust, all he wanted was to find out just how Jisoo’s cunt felt.

When she pulled off his cock with a pop, he did not spare a moment to reposition them both, jisoo on her back and himself on top, legs spread wide for her. He finally got rid of the remaining strains of his clothes, fully exposed to his noona.

"Jisoo." the way her name rolled off his tongue was like a plea and a question, hands placed behind her thighs to spread her further. He gazes down at her, as if waiting for her to tell him to continue.

She lastly discarded her flimsy shirt— not without hesitation. One hand tightly squeezed at her own breast, causing her nipple to jut out in between her delicate fingers.

Jisoo moaned, the way her name slipped past Jungkook’s lips had her weak.

The woman felt the cool air graze against her bare, rosy pussy, her wet folds parting further the more Jungkook spread her pale legs. She felt extremely exposed, yet not exposed enough.. Jisoo’s dimmed eyes traveled downwards to the ground, remembering about the spare condom in the back pockets of her forgotten shorts. She debated if it was even worth it.

The woman gulped.

Of course it was.. this is how she ended up pregnant in the first place. However, Jungkook was much more mature than her ex.. Surely he’d try to be careful, right?

She desperately wanted to give him the raw, tender experience.

With a shaky exhale, Jisoo nodded softly.

“Just don’t cum in me. I won’t be able to afford to take care of your baby..” She jokingly teased in the midst of the situation, although a small part of her was serious.

Jungkook's wide eyes quickly softened at the joke, leaning down to hover over her body and place a kiss on her nose.

''Okay.'' He whispered, moving down to kiss her on the lips in reassurance, one elbow placed next to her head to keep himself steady as the other reached down to guide the tip of his length to her hole. Slowly, he advanced his hips forward to let it sink in-- even with the wetness and preparation, it was a snug fit. Jungkook's eyes fluttered shut, eyebrows gradually pulling together as he continued to move forward until he bottomed out inside of her. He remains still for a moment, lips parting in a breathy curse at the new sensation.

''Oh…”

Jisoo bit back a drained string of moans, whimpering softly at the inward drag of Jungkook’s hardened cock planting itself deeper into her tight cunt, the tip unknowingly poking at her sensitive cervix. She squirmed, shamelessly groping at her sore breasts. The woman patiently waited until he opened his eyes to grant them her gaze. “H-how does it feel, Jungkookie?” Her hands settled for Jungkook’s rigid shoulders, not daring to move an inch until the younger felt comfortable enough to unfreeze.

His eyes opened halfway to meet hers, a smile tugging at his lips before his jaw fell back open when he drew his hips back, only to slowly drive himself back as deep into her cunt as possible, the tight, wet warmth treating his entire length with the utmost pleasure.

''It feels good... Tight...'' he sighs in content, his cock twitching inside of her already as it craved more friction-- and he decided to repeat the slow, long movements of his hips, every single muscle in his torso dancing beneath the skin to keep himself steady and his rhythm gentle. Jisoo's cunt felt great, but a small part of his brain couldn’t help the way it kept reminding him that it wasn’t Taehyung-- And another part of him shook it off. That was the point entirely.

“Good..” Her sharp nails swam deeper into his skin, leaving behind crescent-like marks along the flexed flesh. “F-faster, baby..” Jisoo paid no attention to the pet name, instead fully focusing on deliberately clenching down on Jungkook’s throbbing cock, liking the way it twitched from inside of her.

A set of her fingers smoothly weaved their way through his curls, brushing away the strands that streamed down his hazed eyes. Jisoo wanted to make sure she was all he saw.

Jungkook obliged to her wishes, his thrusts gradually speeding up-- and with every snap of his hips, the bulbous tip of his cock nudged her deepest parts. Low, breathy moans began to escape his plush lips as he kept his gaze transfixed on her face for reactions.

It was weird in a sense, how his mind constantly wanted to subconsciously compare two entirely different people. How his ex-boyfriend’s face morphed into pleasure when he did this specific move-- and then Jisoo during the same. No... he shook his head to get rid of any thoughts. Thinking was bad. All he wanted was to feel, so he sped up further, sitting up on his knees to place his hands behind her knees once more, firmly pushing her legs up to give this new angle a try. Kook was less tender now, desperate to drown himself in pleasure, fucking into her squelching hole as he gave her a perfect view of his sculpted body working her.

"You're so gorgeous," he praised through breathy grunts, sweat forming on his brow as his gaze focused on her breasts bouncing with every jolt he forced through her body.

Jisoo’s clouded eyes nearly rolled back to her skull, crying out in utter satisfaction the more Jungkook relentlessly screwed into her dripping pussy, the slickness making it easier for his cock to slide in and out without budging.

“Jungkook..!” She gaspingly screamed out his name, forcing her eyes to fall on the strong muscles projected in front of her, before they shifted over to the man’s face. Jisoo playfully squeezed and tugged at her nipple— as best as she could with Jungkook’s every sloppy thrust, secretly wanting him to get a taste.

“S-suck on them, Jungkookie..” The woman pleaded, fingers hastily rubbing over the erect bud, lips parting in a whiny whimper.

Jungkook gave her a few more punishing thrusts before once again changing his position, letting her legs fall to the bed as he leaned down, one hand cupping her breast to guide her nipple to his mouth as the other served as leverage on the mattress. A muffled moan rumbled in his throat as he sucked on her perked bud, flicking it with his tongue whilst his thrusts never wavered even once. Instead, his hips picked up the tortuous phase, now fucking into her with greed for more of her noises; wondering if she could cum from his cock alone.

A layer of sweat formed on his skin, dark locks clinging to his forehead-- other strands of hair dangling freely with the rocking of their bodies.

Fuck, it felt good. He wouldn't be able to last much longer like this.

Kook’s eyes peered up at Jisoo, making a show out of the way his lips encased her nipple, his doe eyes blown out with his playful arousal.

The woman’s frail body couldn’t handle the intense amounts of pleasure seeping in from what seemed like every direction. Her swollen cunt was getting close to fucked out, every quickened, harsh slap of the younger’s balls against her folds further toyed with Jisoo’s electrifying senses, making her wriggle helplessly underneath his towering body.

With tired eyes, she looked down into Jungkook’s playful pair, moans becoming higher in pitch from the way his tongue lapped around her hardened nipple.

“So good..” The devilish sight was endearing in a way, the woman never would’ve thought she would find herself in this situation— taking all of Jungkook’s cock like a pro.

“I-I’m going to cum-!” Jisoo’s back arched up from the bed, pushing more of her breast into Kook’s mouth. She tightly held onto him for needed support, feeling her high painfully take its time to burst.

Jungkook pulled away from her nipple with a pop, strings of saliva falling onto the younger chin, unbothered by anything. He was a man with focus, and he was adamant to make Jisoo cum as hard as possible. He placed both of his arms on each side of her, able to use his core strength further; fucking her like it was the last thing he'd ever get to do in this life.

"Cum, J-Jisoo...." he nods, begging her to find her release through his cock. Quicker than he'd hoped, he felt his own orgasm slowly making itself known in the firm of a pool of heat, muscles tensing in his Lower abdomen. And if his heavy, breathy grunts and moans were anything to go by-- he too would have to cum.

"You're so good, Jisoo--- fuck... I’m gonna cum too.."

“O-oh my god..! Just— just like that, baby!” Jisoo was close to tears, the blurred effect in her eyes tricked her into seeing clear stars, unable to focus on anything else but the way Jungkook was dead set on reaching her wanted climax.

“Fuuuck..” The woman’s head relentlessly snapped from one side to the other, the knot in her lower stomach coming loose with every determined thrust of Kook’s hips, her full breasts whipping harsher than before. She felt the sheets shift from underneath her, spawning a slight sting on her naked back. That didn’t matter, however. It was as if everything else was incapable of garnering her dizzy attention, all Jisoo was focused on was the way Jungkook was entering her over and over again, his raspy grunts comparable to music to her stuffy ears.

“A-ah! Jungkook..!” Not fully expecting the bomb to go off so soon, she loudly came over the man’s wet cock, squirting onto his pelvis and staining the sheets.

A tear managed to escape, slowly rolling down the corner of her eye.

Jisoo was fucked. Again.

Fuck, Jungkook wished that he could come inside so badly with the way Jisoos cunt was practically squeezing his cock as if it was begging for him to release inside-- but he promised not to… It took him every single drop of his strength to pull out of her, his length coated and glistening in her cum and juices. His eyes quickly flickered between his cock and back to her body, one hand reaching to hold her hip as the other wrapped around his length to stroke himself with vigor. A series of curses later, a high pitched whine choked into a broken moan got caught in his throat as his hips stuttered into his hand. Ropes of his thick cum dribbled onto Jisoos stomach, pooling at the dip of her bellybutton and trickling down her skin.

Kook threw his head forward, his eyes screwed shut as he slowed down the abuse he put his cock through by still stroking himself-- making sure every last drop of him was on her.

She drowned herself in the enticing sight unfolding before her, sticky skin shivering whilst Jungkook’s warm cum fell onto her gasping stomach, further adorning the sweaty flesh with his white-ish trail.

“That was amazing..” Jisoo breathed out through her heavy panting, a tired smile on faint display. The woman took a few more seconds to catch her breath, feeling Jungkook’s shed cum trickle down her slightly still stomach. She slowly opened her eyes, her pupils dilating at the glimpse of the younger man. With a small grunt, Jisoo sat up on the bed for easier access to his hand, gently pulling Kook down in a lying position next to her.

“You went out all the way..”

Her face inched closer to his, not hesitating in pressing a soft kiss onto his flushed cheek, then on his nose.. forehead, chin, and lastly, on Jungkook’s strained neck.

“So I’m gorgeous, hm?” She giggled, recalling what he’d called her during sex. Anything to keep the conversation going, Jisoo didn’t want to be left alone. Even if they were done fucking, she loved having Kook’s company.

Jungkook wiped his forehead with the back of his hand, letting it rest above his head as he took deep slow breaths to collect himself.

Glancing over at her, a small smile through closed teeth, "Yeah, so pretty."

He closed his eyes, exhausted from this entire day. He never seemed to have a calm day.

Jisoo didn’t allow her disappointment to seep onto her face, simply nodding with a small smile.

Was aftercare silly to want..? She wanted to feel Jungkook’s strong arms around her— in an innocent hold, hugging her close until they both fell asleep from exhaustion..

“Thank you,” The woman ran her fingers through his hair, looking up at him with obvious heart eyes. A touch of sadness lingered within them, though.

“I should get going..” Jisoo sighed, detaching herself from Jungkook’s side.

Jungkook reached out to graze the skin of her arm, gently squeezing it as his sleepy eyes lingered on her.

"You can stay...?" Honestly, he was exhausted-- but he didn't want to be left alone with his silence. Call him selfish, but it's what he needed. He didn't really ask for her reply before pulling her close into his arms.

Confused was an understatement, but Jisoo obliged to Jungkook’s leading touch. She snug closer into his chest, trying to put a stop to her heart’s drumming rhythm.

This wasn’t good.. Any of it. Jisoo had been aware that she was simply the younger man’s way out. She was his shitty sexual rebound, but the woman enjoyed his attention nonetheless.

It made her feel dirty.. used. Her liking towards Jungkook was far too strong, though. For someone as smitten as her, it would be stupid to pass on the opportunity to sleep in your crush’s arms.. There was always a part of Jisoo that wondered if she’d ever have a chance— slim to none. No other guy had caught her attention the way Kook held hers. So for right now, a casual fuck helped stitch the cracks in her heart.

Jungkook hummed in intent as he held Jisoo close, her cheek pressing against his chest. He gently stroked her back, the pads of his fingers feeling the smoothness-- and the vague dents of faded stretch marks.

"Noona..." the common name for her slipped through his teeth, his eyes remaining closed as he breathed slowly. But as he was about to figure out what he wanted to say-- it didn't come out. Instead, he simply shook his head and forced himself to fall asleep, the hold around Jisoo tightening, as if wordlessly telling her not to leave until morning.

~~~

“Yuna~ Open up for mommy..” Jisoo was sat cross-legged on the ground, trying to feed the little one her share of ‘carrot mush’ by airplaning the small spoonful in between Yuna’s pouty lips.

The woman even added silly sound effects, knowing how much she loved them. Still, her baby was extremely persistent. With a defeated sigh, Jisoo’s eyes wandered over to the tilted clock on her wall. School was dismissed, meaning Jungkook would invite himself into her apartment anytime soon.

As if it was pure magic, her daughter always ate whenever the younger man was present.

For some odd reason, Kook had little Yuna wrapped around his fingers..

They’ve spent a lot of time together; over the course of a week straight, he spent most of his time in her cozy apartment, helping her with Yuna. They had sex almost every night, without protection— Jisoo attempted to make Kook wear a condom once, but it turned out to be three sizes too small.. She was wise enough to know it was extremely irresponsible, but Jungkook seemed to always get a grip on himself.. The woman trusted him.

Her fingers desperately swam through her tangled hair, about to try and guide another useless spoonful to Yuna’s mouth when the little one’s doe eyes enlarged.

“Googie!”

She’d caught them by surprise a few nights ago while Jisoo prepared dinner.

Jungkook was playing with her when all of the sudden, Yuna said her first word! It still made the mother’s heart pound..

The woman glanced over her shoulder, smiling at the sight of ‘Googie’ whilst he discarded his shoes.

“Jungkook, hey.” She tiredly greeted, enamored with his presence.

Jungkook's toothy grin was wide, the warm greetings from the two girls had become somewhat of a habit by now.. and being deemed Yuna’s favourite 'Googie'.

"Hey," He chirped as he let his backpack fall to the floor by his shoes, a sign that he hadn't even bothered to go home, but went straight to Jisoo after school. He plopped down between the two of them, legs crossed. Leaning in, he placed a quick kiss on Jisoos cheek as he took the spoonful of carrot mush to sniff it. Kook pretended to eat some of it; a loud coo from Yuna echoing as she suddenly wanted all of the food to herself.

"Wow, you won't even share?" Jungkook scrunched his nose, feeding the little one as his eyes went back to Jisoo. "I want food too." He fake pouts.

Jisoo retracted her chin from Jungkook’s shoulder, hand playfully swinging at the younger’s bicep whilst her lips jutted out into a pout of their own.

“Yah, you were supposed to help me take care of one baby.”

Nonetheless, Jisoo sat up from her spot— not before returning the favor and stamping a chaste kiss onto the faint scar on Kook’s cheekbone.She rubbed the drowsiness out of her eyes, leaning down to smooth her dainty fingers over Yuna’s poof ball of raven hair before dragging her feet into the kitchen, rummaging through her pantry.

“Noodles sound okay, Googie?” Jisoo quietly chuckled under her breath, pushing aside the jars of baby food scattered along the counter.

Okay, maybe she was a /little/ jealous. She’s been trying to get Yuna to say ‘ma-ma’ for the longest time, but apparently the little one had different priorities..

"Yeah~" Jungkook puts the baby food down when the little one had devoured every single spoonful he offered, whining for him to pick her up with little chubby arms outstretched.

What a personality.

He did as Yuna wished and picked her up into his arms, rocking her carefully as she immediately tugs at his hair and burps.

"Such a lady.." kook jokes as he stood up with the child in his arms, heading into the kitchen to keep Jisoo company.

“How is it, does the burnt taste add a lil kick to it?” The corners of Jisoo’s beady eyes wrinkled as she laughed, vocally putting the blame on Jungkook for making her lose track of the stirring.

As it turns out, him and Yuna made quite the comedic duo. Which— would’ve been fine, if she didn’t suck at making noodles in the first place.

It was a bit of a challenge when Jisoo was trying to /not/ pee her pants from laughing too much..

Also, it didn’t help that the burner was too hot.

Sparing a quick glance at her daughter’s playpen; she slurped up another bite, stuffing her cheeks with the (somewhat) yummy goodness.

"It's delicious," Jungkook states matter of fact-ly. Even if it wasn't the most insanely delicious meal, it was made for him-- and that's what made it good. Plus, it beat his microwave noodles and granola bars any day.

"Noona, did I tell you that the big game is tomorrow?" He jumped in excitement, he'd been working his ass off for this.

"Do you think we will win?" He wiggles an eyebrow as he tilts the bowl back to drink up the remaining broth.

“Do I think you guys will win?” Jisoo seemed to ponder about the idea a second too long, dropping her skeptical act when she’d deemed enough.

“They have you on their team, don’t they? I’m sure you guys will win.”

The pad of her thumb gently brushed over Jungkook’s pouty lips, wiping away the temporary stains from the sauce. With a blinding smile, Jisoo slid closer to him, a fluttering gaze nailed to his soft eyes.

“You won’t mind us coming and cheering for you, right?” She leaned in closer, cupping the side of the man’s face.

“I’ll make sure to bring a big sign that says, ‘Go Jeon Jungkook! Noona is super proud of you’ with bright sparkly letters.. and— and glitter..” Jisoo was getting caught up on Jungkook’s inciting lips, her brain scrambling with her mumbled words. “..And a big cutout of your face..”

The woman broke out into a giggle, lips feathering against his.

“How does that sound~?” Not giving Kook any time to respond, she broke the distance between the two of them, pleasantly humming into their sweet kiss.

Jungkook smiles into the kiss, his large arms wrapping around her small frame to pull her closer, his hands settling to grip at her waist. He pulls back just enough to speak,

"Make it so sparkly that it blinds the other team." A nose scrunch grin later, he leaned back in to kiss her again. This one deeper, his plush lips gently sucking on Jisoos lower one, not ashamed to add a little tongue into his kisses, always loving the way her body reacts to his small ministrations

The woman blindly sat her half-finished bowl of burnt noodles on the coffee table— or desk— and as if her arms had a mind of their own, they fluidly circled around Jungkook’s neck.

Jisoo adored the way he took his time with her. Adored his touch, his particular taste, the dorky smile in between their kisses..

Kind of everything.

It was her turn to pull away, to scrunch her nose at their evil master plan.

“Blind the other team. Noted.” Just like that, Jisoo dived back for wanted seconds; and thirds, fourths as well, fifths.. So on until she didn’t bother to keep count.

Whoever thought Taehyung would last two weeks without stepping foot into Jungkook’s apartment building? No one, absolutely no one.

There he stood, antsy outside of his shitty car whilst he rocked on his feet. To make matters worse, Tae was accompanied by a relatively large stuffed animal— close to his height, to be precise. Bystanders’ drawn stares were to be expected..

He’d been wanting to gift the bear to Jisoo for a while now, but the fact that his ex boyfriend’s door lingered right next to hers was the bump in the road. It had taken a lot of self-restraint on Taehyung’s end to not reach out to Jungkook— to ask him if he could transport the stuffed animal to his close friend, of course. It’d make everything so much easier..

However, every time he thought he’d grown the balls, Tae just.. couldn’t. Plus, Kook appeared to be engrossed in his phone at all times, some might say he’s caught the ‘Jimin disease’.

What was so amazing about that damn phone? His thumbs always moved at the speed of lightning, obvious he was texting back and forth between someone..

Fuck. Taehyung’s jaw hardened at the thought.

Kook was horrible at texting, who seemed to have broken him out of his habits? Shaking his mind out of the gutter, the boy took a couple steps forward, hoping he wouldn’t come across Jungkook out of the blue. Practice was already awkward enough.

Taehyung knew the younger’s apartment number by heart. He decided to go off of his rusty memory, stopping a door too soon. He stared at the next door down, his grip on the stupid bear tightening out of deep dejection. Maybe if he just knocked on— Taehyung shook his head, frustrated at his intrusive thoughts.

The elder needed to get this done and over with, maybe then he’d go back to not thinking about Jungkook. This place triggered a lot of memories...

With a quiet sigh, Tae’s hand traveled upwards to knock on Jisoo’s door. He halted his movements midway, noticing it was cracked open. Confused, Taehyung pried through the noticeable gap.

And it was at that moment that he wished he wouldn’t have.

Jungkook was holding Jisoo close, and if that wasn’t enough to shatter his fucking heart, they were caught in a make out session. The elder’s breath hitched in his throat, the want to pull Jungkook away was too strong— too powerful.

Tae didn’t expect it to hurt this much.

Jungkook leaned in closer, kissing down Jisoo's jaw to her neck, his back facing Taehyung's way, her face in perfect view for Tae to see her expressions as the younger littered pecs and openmouthed kisses on her soft skin, hands roaming from her waist to sneak below her shirt up her back, her warm skin heating up his slightly colder hands. Completely unaware of the audience, Jungkook whispers into her skin between gentle bites on her collarbone,

''When we win tomorrow, you will reward me, won't you? I want something sweet,'' He squeezes the soft love handles by her hips.

Jisoo’s petite body livened up from the traces of Jungkook’s ghostly fingers trailing along her spine, her neck slightly angled to the side as she quench her thirst for the younger man’s guilty caresses.

“I-I’ll make it as sweet as you’d like, Jungkookie..“ The tremor in her lacking voice was obvious.

With one quick glance over her shoulder, Jisoo was glad to find Yuna absorbed in her rattling toys, unaware of the situation just a couple feet in front of her.

“H-hmm..” She quickly bit down on her lower lip, half-lidded eyes fluttering open only to meet a stranger’s face.

Well.. not necessarily a stranger.

Taehyung.

The boy had tears in his eyes; he was visibly hurting.

Both their gazes clashed— the passion swirling within them so different, one of lust and the other of burning distress.

Jisoo’s smaller lips parted in a soft moan, having a heavy stare down against Taehyung’s bruised ego. Tae, on the other hand, fled from the duel and roughly wiped away a stray tear, pretending he didn’t see anything. Internally panicking over what to do next, he left the stuffed animal outside of Jisoo’s door before getting out of there.

Jungkook's hands were travelling further up her back, about to attempt to pull her shirt up when a cry interrupted him.

"Ah...." he chuckled, nuzzling his nose into jisoo's neck, "guess that's it for the fun time.. little one has spoken."

Yuna cooed when he withdrew from her mother, giving a quick peck on Jisoos cheek before getting up to pick the child up in his arms. "Wanna watch some anime? There's a new episode out today~"

He nuzzled his nose in Yuna's hair, earning a small giggle as he nods, walking over to the couch to sit down next to Jisoo. "The child has spoken, it's anime night!"

~~~

“..And so, I caught them kissing. I just.. I don’t know. It made me realize how stupid I was for letting him go?” Taehyung feebly mourned, broad chest rising in sync with a deep inhale.

“I love him so much.. Ow! What the fu—“ Yerin shushed him, continuing to pluck away the overgrown hairs of Tae’s narrowed eyebrows.

“Sorry, just know they’re going to look fleek. Anyways, you were saying?”

The boy relaxed his tense expression, shifting a little on his spot. The background noise of Taylor Swift’s ‘You Belong With Me’ made it a little hard to think, and the tingling sensation on his skin wasn’t helping..

“Wait, it burns.” Tae hissed through his teeth. Mina, who was in charge of the clay mask, simply brushed him off.

“That’s how you know it’s working, your skin is gorgeous by the way! Do you exfoliate?”

“I don’t even know what th—“

“Taehyung, do you want something to drink?” Areum stopped trying to fight against his tangled hair, her wrist was sore from all of the harsh tugging. The boy’s eyes immediately lit up, practically smiling through the pain whilst Yerin fucked with his eyebrows.

“That’d be great… Uh, beer would be fine.”

“It’s bad for your skin!” Mina reminded, making sure she’d gotten every spot covered.

“How does sparkling grape juice sound?”

“Right..” Taehyung was starting to rethink his last-minute decision of showing up to Yerin’s sleepover. Is there no drinking in sleepovers..?

He desperately needed it for the pain they were putting him through.

‘Beauty hurts, Taehyung. Beauty hurts.’ He internally repeated to himself, Areum’s voice still so crystal clear.

“Sure. I’ll take some juice.”

As he watched Areum run out of the room, the boy sighed. He felt lost..

“How do you think I should win Jungkook back?”

Taehyung asked no one in particular, simply throwing it out there as he was desperate to get something. A blueprint would be nice, he’d never known how to undo one of his fuck ups.

Tae never felt the need to.. until now.

Yerin finished the torturous clean-up of Tae's eyebrows, examining with a content nod before raising her own at his question.

''Ladies! Assemble!''

She clapped her hands, all girls scooting closer-- and as if she was being summoned, Areum sprinted back with the drinks on a tray, placing it on the floor by them.

''Step one, you need to look your best,'' Yerin continued, glancing over at her friends that nodded in agreement, ''Which, thanks to us, you're even further than that.''

''Jungkook is gonna be unable to take his eyes off of you!'' Mina cooed, moving his long curls away from his eyes, ''But you need to talk to him.''

''Obviously he has to talk to him,'' Areum snickered, handing him the glass of juice, ''But you were the one who broke up with him, weren't you? I don't know how easy he is to talk to, but it doesn't take half a brain to guess that he's still hurting.''

''Right! You need to apologise-- soften him up! It'll be easy after drawing him in with the cuter visuals we've blessed you with.''

The girls kept throwing their 'wisdom' his way, different ways and words to reel Jungkook back in. The gist of it was, get his attention, find space for a conversation, apologise; and work from there.

Taehyung’s brain processed the girls’ main pointers.

Get Jungkook’s attention, talk to him, and apologize.

Seemed easy enough..

But Tae knew his boyfriend— or ex— well enough to know Kook tended to hold grudges. Understandably.

“You think so?” Maybe the younger would surprise him. Maybe he’d agree that all of this was worthless; the dirty looks, awkward tension— everything.

Taehyung just wanted to be with him, no matter what kind of vulgar, cliché names outsiders hurled at them.

“Yeah.. okay.”

He took a sip of the sparkling juice, a hint of a boxy smile evident behind the clear glass.

“You’re gonna get your man back!” Yerin proudly exclaimed, the rest of the girls joining in to express their excitement.

“Yeah!” Tae softly giggled, the tingling in his skin no longer his main concern.

“I’m gonna get my man back!”

Hopefully..

Tomorrow he’ll be able to put their suggestions to the test. Taehyung could only hope his confidence wasn’t for nothing..

#fic: Love maze #sombreboy

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cherryeol04 · 4 years

Text

The Firsts

Summary: No one ever told him that living was going to be so difficult. That there would emotions get couldn’t label and distinguish. He’s just a young boy trying to navigate through life and its unexpected ups and downs.

Genre: Humor, Fluff, smut(?)

Pairings: Oc x Felix, Oc x Changbin, Changbin x Oc x Felix

Warnings: poly relationship, angst in some part, excessive fighting about the MCU.

Parts: Part 1 / Part 2 / Part 3 / Part 4 / Part 5 / Part 6 / Part 7 / Part 8 / Part 9 / Part 10 / Part 11 / Part 12 / Part 13 / Part 14 / Part 15 / Part 16/ Part 17

A/N: This story has a theme of Firsts. First love, first kiss and many other firsts. Each part can be read on their own and are meant to stand as oneshots. It’s basically a collection of oneshots (little snapshots into my Oc’s life. 😁)

“The fact you took them back.” Minho grumbled as he sat across from Aiden, eyeing the other who was trying his hardest to hide himself behind Seungmin. “We spent three hours listening to you cry! Do you know how much that hurt hyung, Aiden? I care about you and I don’t want you to be hurt again. I can’t bear to see you go through that again.” He scolded and Aiden whined.

“I know it’s just -“

“What bullshit did they feed you?” Minho asked.

“It wasn’t bullshit.” Aiden whispered.

“Hyung.” Hyunjin spoke up, staring at Minho. “I know I came in after all this happened, but scolding him isn’t going to help the situation. I’m sure he has his reasons for accepting their apology and proposal. We should be supportive.”

“I agree with Jinnie.” Seungmin nodded. “Besides, I saw them trying to make things better. Aiden just was too into his feels to notice. Whatever happened happened. It happened the way it did and now they’re trying to fix it. If it means less strain in the group, who are we to stop it?”

“But what if something happens again?” Minho protested, dropping his sandwich back on his plate and reached out, taking Aiden’s hand gently. “You know I’m not really mad or anything. I just worry about you. I was there from the start of your relationship with Felix until now. I just want -“

“And I appreciate you, hyung.” Aiden interrupted with a smile. “I really do. And I know you’re just looking out for me but I have to try this. I still love him. Both of them and if I don’t I’ll just be miserable for the rest of my life - always wondering about ‘what if’.” He said and pouted. “And if I’m wrong, then I’m wrong and I get hurt. But I’ll have learned then, and work to keep myself protected and try harder to find someone who will love me for all I am.”

“Aiden, stop trying to be such an adult. I miss the hyperactive brat you really are.” He chuckled softly. Smiling, Aiden shook hid head.

“Silly. I’ll be back to my normal self soon. I just wanted to tell you guys what happened before you like accidentally discover it. I think it was the better decision.”

“It was. Thank you for being honest with us.” Hyunjin smiled at him. “And I hope you three are happy for a while, okay?”

“Thanks. That means so much to me.”

“Alright, enough with the sappiness though. I would like to eat my lunch and not puke.” Seungmin teased, pulling laughs from the others as they went back to eating.

———

“And I told Mr. Jung that there is just no way I can compose four songs last minute like this!” Chan grumbled as he stared at his computer. “I mean I could do one or two by Friday, but I can’t do four.”

“I told you he was crazy, why didn’t you listen to me?” Woojin asked as he eyed the younger male with a smirk.

“Listen mom -“

“Damn, if this is what university life is like, I don’t want to graduate.” Jisung pouted from his spot on the floor, back pressed against the couch. His history textbook laying open in his lap. “High school is supposed to be easy too!”

“Ah, I miss the good old days.” Woojin mused with a soft sigh.

“It was literally last year.” Minho scoffed with a laugh. “Stop trying to age yourself.”

“Back in my day I had to walk down the halls with all my books in my hands. None of this new-fangled technology of lockers like you youngins have.” Chan spoke, voiced pitched in his playful teasing.

“Grandpa!” Felix cheered and laughed harder when Chan smacked his fellow Aussie in the chest with a pillow.

“Siri, how do you time travel?” Changbin asked as he held up his phone, the others laughing along with him.

“I need new friends.” Chan groaned and rubbed his nose with the palm of his hand.

“Sorry hyung, already tried that and they’re still here.” Aiden teased as he looked up from his notebook. “But you wouldn’t have us any other way.”

“I can neither confirm nor deny that statement.” Chan grunted and sighed. “But no seriously, how the hell am I suppose to make 4 songs?” He asked.

“I can help if you want.” Changbin offered.

“Oh me too!” Jisung jumped in. “Just got a really high score in production class. I’m like a genius. I got you hyung.”

“Genius? In who’s world?” Seungmin asked, brow raised.

“In my world, duh.”

“I beg to differ.” Seungmin scoffed.

“Only if you call me daddy.” Jisung smirked and Aiden choked on his water, coughing harshly as he smacked his chest quickly.

“Ji! You can’t be saying that stuff around the virgin!” Minho poked at Aiden. “His poor heart can’t take your sinful tongue.” There was a beat of silence before Minho continued. “But I can.” He smirked.

“Jesus!” Aiden hissed as he coughed again. “Can we not have this sexual talk in my Christian server? Thank you!” He pouted.

“You would think, a man with two boyfriends wouldn’t still be a virgin.” Woojin mused.

“Back in my days, whores just ran about flashing every Tom, Dick, and Harry they saw.” Chan joked.

“Sometimes it was a Harry dick.” Woojin added and laughed as Aiden smacked his head on the table.

“I need new friends!” Aiden whined loudly.

“Sucks to be you kid.” Chan smirked and shook his head. “Now, about my song production.”

———

Aiden whined as he laid back in the bed, staring up at the off white ceiling of Felix’s bedroom. The room silent, save for his soft breathing and he allowed himself to fall into the thoughts that were running over a million miles a minute. It was only a single thought, one comment that had been said that was really bugging him.

“You would think, a man with two boyfriend wouldn’t still be a virgin.”

Was it bad he was still a virgin? Was Felix still one? Changbin even? He was pretty sure that Minho had been with Seungmin at one point and now was probably chasing Jisung’s tail. Said friend most likely wasn’t a virgin from all the tales he had told Aiden about the women he had dated back at his old school in Malaysia.

He couldn’t be too sure about Chan or Woojin. A part of him was thinking that they were dating based on their behavior, but a part of him wasn’t entirely sure they were both gay or simply had interest in guys. And Hyunjin was a mystery to him. The little twink acted both experienced and shy and he couldn’t even decipher what was an act and what wasn’t.

It worried Aiden. He could very possibly be the only virgin in his friend group and it seemed wrong. It’s not like he needed to have sex in order for his friends to accept him, they already did - at least he thought. It was just something about the way they teased him and Aiden wasn’t stupid. He knew they meant no harm by their words, it was all in good jest. But it was still an insecurity he had.

Being inexperienced. And now it seemed that maybe he was the only inexperienced person in the group and it worried him. His mind drifted off to thoughts of Felix and Changbin, and what would happen when it came to that time for them to be intimate. How would he able to handle it? He could barely reciprocate the moves Changbin had used on him a while ago, he certainly wouldn’t be able to survive now that there were two of them. And what if he sucked?

What if he couldn’t figure out how to touch Felix the right way? Or make Changbin moan? What if he couldn’t get either of them off and they were left hard and wanting - disappointed in his lack of ability?

He sighed and lifted his phone up, finger pressing and holding down the lock button until the screen flashed. “Siri, where is the nearest cliff I can yeet off of?”

“Okay, here is what I found.”

Aiden’s nose scrunched up as he read the results for the nearest Cliff’s Restaurant that he could eat off of.

“Good job, Siri. I knew I could count on you.” He sighed.

“Oh god, Binnie it’s worse than we thought, he’s started talking to himself.” Aiden lifted his head and watched as Felix and Changbin walked into the room, arms filled with snacks and drinks for their movie marathon.

“I knew we shouldn’t have left him alone.” Changbin tasked.

“I should have offered him my pet rock. He’s a great listener.”

Changbin paused and stared at Felix with concern. “Right.” He said slowly and gave a nod. “Okay so I’m dating two psychopaths.”

“Hey!”

“Oh, that’s creepy. They’re even in sync. Minho warned me about you crazy people.”

“Oh my god, shut up!” Aiden tossed a pillow at him, laughing as it struck Changbin in the face. “Asshole, you know you love us.”

“I never said I didn’t.” Changbin countered as he kicked the pillow back towards the bed and walked over, setting the various cans and bottles of drinks on the nightstand. Sitting up in the bed, Aiden crossed his legs as he leaned over and looked at each label.

“Alright, we got drinks. We got snacks. I got Black Panther queued in the DVD player, are we ready for a bomb ass movie night?” Felix asked.

“You’re way too excited for this." Changbin laughed as he took a seat next to Aiden on the bed.

“Black Panther is my favorite MCU movie, don’t hate.” Felix pouted as he grabbed the remote and jumped onto the bed, getting the DVD screen up on his tv.

“No hate.” Changbin hummed and smirked. “Isn’t there a legend about having sex after watching Black Panther?” He asked.

Aiden could feel his pulse start pounding as he stared at Changbin. There he was being so cheeky, trying to look innocent but his smirk was anything but. “I do not recall any legend. I believe that once we watch Black Panther then we can have cuddle sessions anywhere we want. A better achievement to unlock.” He said quickly.

Felix laughed at that and shook his head. “We can stop with this whole ‘watching marvel movies leads to something’ joke. Really, at this point, we shouldn’t base our relationship off of watching the MCU.”

“Oh lord, Felix is going to be profound again. Something about moving at our pace and being intimate when we’re ready. And blah blah blah.” Changbin rambled on and Felix pouted. “On the nose right?”

“I hate when you do that.” Felix whined and sighed before looking to Aiden. “But he’s right. Relax babe, we won’t do anything you’re not ready for.”

“W-What?! Why do you think it’s me?” He squealed our indignantly. They both gave him a pointed look and he flushed, looking away quickly.

“Because you’re the shy one.” Changbin cooed and reached out, pinching Aiden’s cheek gently. “I remember when you got so pouty when you couldn’t even touch my dick, and then you made such a mess.”

“Stop!” Aiden whined and pushed his hand away, smacking Changbin’s arm lightly. “That was so long ago.”

“It was. Wouldn’t mind doing it again honestly.”

“I wouldn’t mind watching either.” Felix grinned.

Aiden honestly wasn't sure what to say or do in that moment. Being reminded of the time he jerked off with Changbin had brought back a lot of memories and feelings that he really hadn't allowed himself to feel in a while. He could still see Changbin's face, clear as day when the other told him to cum - that thought alone sending a shiver down his spine. Did he want to do stuff with them? Of course he did. And really he was the only one holding himself back from enjoying the company of his two boyfriends - from experiencing whatever pleasure the two could bring him. He needed to get over himself, and just let loose. But it was hard, so very hard. Especially when is insecurity of being inexperienced was one of the reasons he thought Felix had cheated on him and was going to break up with him. He had been wrong, but that didn't ease any of his feelings. It only seemed to intensify them.

Aiden hadn't notice Changbin moving until he felt the broad, strong chest pressing against his back. Muscular arms wrapped around his waist, and had Changbin's arms always been that bulky and sexy? Since when had his best friend started working out? Last he remembered, he could barely get Changbin out of his bed to walk down the stairs to get food on some days. When did he find the energy to actually go to a gym and work out? "You know we won't force you, right?" Changbin's voice was soft, words so gentle as his lips grazed Aiden's ear and embarrassingly he whimpered. "It doesn't matter if we have sex now, next week or three years from now." he continued, fingers gently rubbing against the flat plane of his abdomen soothingly. It didn't actually help in any way to relax him and Aiden found himself even tenser than he had been just being lost in his own head. "It's not important. What is important is that you feel comfortable with us - with doing simple things." he said as he rested his chin on Aiden's shoulder gently.

"I know." A whisper, barely audible and Aiden hated himself for sounding so timid at the moment. "I just don't want to disappoint you."

"How can you disappoint us?" Felix asked, brow raised. "Where in your mind did you come up with such a ridiculous thought?"

"It's not ridiculous!" Aiden argued and pouted. "You both are so experienced and I'm not. Hell, I avoided kissing you for like a whole week and half because I was scared I would suck at it!" he confessed, cheeks heating up at the memories of his flailing about Changbin's home and crying to Minho and Seungmin because he just couldn't get up the courage to kiss Felix and was too afraid that if he let his guard down and Felix kissed him, the other would leave him.

"Who says we're experienced?" Felix asked with a snort. "Really Aiden? Is that what you've been thinking this whole time?" he asked.

"Well, yeah." Aiden whispered, eyes lowering as he stared at his lap, focusing on picking at the skin of his thumb, rather than the intense burn of his boyfriend's eyes on him. "Aren't you?"

Changbin laughed at that and Aiden knew he didn't mean to be hurtful in his laughter, but it did still hurt because he was laughing at him. At his apparently stupid thought process - not that he didn't agree, it was pretty stupid when he said his thoughts out loud. "No!" he spoke through his chuckles. Aiden could feel the rumble of Changbin's deep laughter through his chest, shaking Aiden to his core and for a moment he simply got lost in the feeling and the closeness. But when Changbin started talking again, he was pulled from his thoughts and forced himself to focus on the words being spoken. "I've kissed someone before, yeah. But I'm not experienced in anything. I jack off a lot, so does that give me experience in hand jobs?" he asked

"Well, I mean... maybe?" Aiden asked curiously.

"Then that means you're experienced too." Changbin pointed out. "But I haven't done anything else, with anyone, including Felix." Changbin lifted his gaze from Aiden to look at the blonde male sitting in front of them. Felix nodded his head, a soft sigh leaving his lips

"I haven't done anything either." Felix confessed. "You were my first kiss Aiden." Aiden felt his eyes widen impossibly large at the admission. He honestly hadn't thought he was Felix's first kiss. The other seemed to experienced in what they were doing - how their lips moved and the right amount of pressure to put to keep a kiss soft or maybe to make it a little more heated.

"But I thought-"

"That's the thing, baby. You thought, you never asked." Changbin cut him off, lips pressing lightly to Aiden's cheek. "You sit there and worry about being inexperienced, thinking the rest of us have so much experience that there is no way we could possibly want you, but we're just as inexperienced as you are." he told him. "And that's okay because like Felix said before, it's okay to be inexperienced. It's what life is about, going through the unknown and learning...together." Aiden could feel himself pouting, brows drawn together as he did his best to will the tears from welling up in his eyes. He remembered Felix saying that on the night of the confession in the Ferris Wheel. He just never thought they meant it, or what it actually meant for them.

But now it was different. He was being told he wasn't alone in being inexperienced. The people he thought who were experienced, weren't and for some reason, that made everything seem okay. Because he wasn't going to be embarrassing himself or being compared to a past relationship. Everything was fresh and new for them.

And maybe that's all Aiden had needed to know from the very start.

"I want to." he whispered, lifting his gaze to meet Felix's eyes and then turned his head to stare at Changbin.

"Want to what?" Felix asked gently.

"Have sex. I want to, I'm just scared." He felt Changbin's arms tighten around him, pulling him back closer as he nuzzled his neck gently.

"It's okay. We can do it when you're ready, baby. There's nothing to be scared about okay?" Aiden nodded his head slowly, letting out a soft exhale as he relaxed fully against Changbin. Lifting his arms, he held them out towards Felix, smiling as the Australian crawled into his lap and laid against him, cuddling into his chest. Aiden wrapped his arms around Felix and sighed contently, eyes closing as he enjoyed the warmth the closeness brought to him. Aiden watched as Felix grabbed the remote for his DVD player once more and started the movie, the three of them falling into a comfortable silence as they were sucked into wonders of Black Panther. The worries and fears that had plagued Aiden's mind for almost year were finally eased, assured that his two boyfriends would take their time with him and not rush him and he was sure they would make their first time together - whenever that may be - memorable. And for that, he was so thankful to have them in his life.

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