#quarantine since 9th of march
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End of the Year Recap – 2022
This has certainly been a year, hasn't it?
In the spirit of this being the last month of the year, I thought about doing a small recap of what this year has been for me in here and my writing. I have famously bad memory (thanks adhd) so I'm probably gonna miss some things here and there, but I'll try my best to remember as much as I can. So, let's go on a trip down memory lane!!
In the beginning - Starting 2022
I had a good start of the year, followed by the breath of fresh air that 2021 was for me. We we're still in quarantine but around March/April we went back to in-person interactions, so there was a lot of moving during those months. Around that time is where the first very important thing of the year happened: I finished draft 2 of The Monsters Only We See, my standalone wip, as well as starting to look for more beta readers. I have to admit, I haven't followed o the whole beta-ing of the wip as I should, but I want to continue it, specially with me continuing the English translation.
I also started said translation roughly after finishing draft 2, and like I said, I haven't been the best at keeping up with it. But I still have time while I look up how to get the money to register it and where/how to share it, mainly digitally but also maybe physically.
A very special month - June 2022
This year's main highlight for sure: on June 9th I finished the first draft of Book 1 of Where Camellias Blossom, my fantasy trilogy. Man I was so happy. This was my second time experiencing finishing a draft (the first one being TMOWS) and there really is something so special to watch a project's phase be complete. It's a mix of the ecstasy of "holy crap I did it!!", a nostalgia for the journey walked and the comfort of a path in the back for finishing it. I think the experience of writing the first draft is unique, it doesn't compare to doing the 2nd or the 3rd.
I started the first draft for Book 2 and I already have notes for changes to draft 2 of Book 1 in order to keep the continuity 😅 so I'm looking forward to both continuing the draft of Book 2 and coming back to work on Book 1.
Guys I think we're getting burnout - July to October 2022
Y'know, in retrospective think I might have wasted all of my energy on finishing the first draft of WCB Book 1. There isn't a lot to say about this months because I didn't do a lot. Most of what I did here was continuing the work with the wips I had, throw there are two important things that happened on October:
1) I finished the 3rd draft of TMOWS. It was easier and I'm very happy with this as the last version. Maybe I'll do some tweaks here and there if I get to have a few more beta readers, but I like the structure and the plot the way they are now.
2) I started Little Shadows, my horror podcast!! I had the idea for it since months ago and decided to do it just in time for spooky season, with it premiering on Halloween. I've been wanting to do something with YouTube for the longest time, and free realizing video essays would take a lot of work that I wasn't willing to put into them, I decided something like this, short format and focused on writing, would be the best option. I'm very happy that I'm doing it and I wanna keep it up, since I have ideas for where the overarching story will go later.
Hoo boi - November 2022
I was very excited for Nanowrimo this year since I wanted to use it to write the 1st draft of Book 2 of WCB, but in the end I barely wrote +4K words. Guys, I was not feeling it at all. It was like all the stress and work for the semester in college suddenly hit me and wouldn't stop hitting me until the month was over, a few days ago. Sadly, Nano was a miss, but not everything was lost:
I finished the first volume of my comic, The Demon in My House. At 129 pages, this little hobby of mine is now long enough to fill a complete volume if I ever printed it, and that makes me so, so proud. I've tried making comics before, short and long format, and this is the first one I feel I can really commit to. I've never done so much for one, and I'm only getting started. The story I have planned for this is really long, so we'll see how many volumes I end up filling, haha. But it also makes me happy and proud cause it shows I can do what I set my mind into, and I hope I get to finish it one day and reread it from begining to end to see the story completed. For now, it's all baby steps towards the next plot point.
And now, at the end - December 2022
If I'm honest, I don't think I'll write a lot this month either. I'll continue drawing for TDIMH, sure, but as for advancing my writing wips... yeah, not happening. This semester was weird and we're gonna finish it on January next year instead of this month, which means I'm gonna have homework for vacations 😩 Plus, I wanna rest. I just. I really wanna rest. And this being the last month of the year is the perfect excuse for it.
Overall, this has been a good year for my writing. A lot of highs and lows, but very much productive. I also wanna appreciate all of you who remained with me this year or that came here for the first time and have decided to walk alongside me. Thank you!! Your interactions and interest have been helping me a lot in not giving up midway with my writing.
Happy holidays, happy soon-to-be new year and happy writing!!
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Simvivor 15 Post-Disappearance Thread
In this thread, we will go over the speculated and debunked returning castaways for Simvivor’s 15th season. Keep in mind this list is subject to change as new information is revealed. There was a ten-day quarantine prior to filming that began on April 2nd. At the time of publishing, it is April 17th, and filming began as of April 13th.
LAST UPDATED: April 17th April 19th
LIKELY
Baylor Ansari (Terra Amorosa - 7th) No social media activity after March 28th.
Brice Rivera (Dragon Valley - 4th) Social media activity persists, but it is likely that his accounts are being ran by someone else. Heavily speculated by reliable sources.
Dottie Rademaker (Redemption Island - 15th) No social media activity after March 28th.
Hudson Brothers (Felicity Island - 1st) Inactive on social media regularly, but he is speculated by a reliable source.
Jules West (Dragon Valley - 6th) Social media accounts are still active but her family’s farm recently made a post indicating that Jules was away for a period of time, likely confirming her.
Morgan McKay (Belomisia - 9th) No social media activity after March 14th. Sources suggest Morgan may have already been eliminated, however, because he was recently spotted near the filming location.
Pam Beesly (Belomisia - 11th) Inactive on social media regularly, but she is heavily speculated by reliable sources to be on. She missed multiple tapings of her work’s documentary series recently.
KEEP AN EYE ON
Benji Thompkins (Oasis Springs - 6th) No social media activity after March 10th. It is speculated that he may be on The Challenge 4, but sources are mixed.
Jaya Falk (StrangerVille & Kingdom Come - 3rd) Despite sources indicating no two-time players were contacted, Jaya has not posted on social media since quarantine began and new sources suggest that she may have been cast for the season.
Paul Wharton (Terra Amorosa - 6th) Inconsistent social media presence. Notably, he was contacted for The Challenge 4, and sources are mixed on him at the moment.
Ricky De Vries (Mt. Komorebi - 2nd) Social media activity persists, but his accounts were run by family during his first season. Not speculated to be on by some sources, but there are no reasons to debunk him yet.
Trevor Mallory (Ohan’ali - 10th) No social media activity after April 1st. His online shop has been temporarily closed and he is heavily speculated to be on. **UPDATE 4/19** Trevor’s online shop reopened briefly before closing again and some posts on his Simstagram were archived.
Yemi Atwater (Oasis Springs - 1st) Social media activity persisted throughout quarantine, but numerous sources suggest that Yemi is on the cast regardless.
DEBUNKED
Avaline Locatelli (Redemption Island - 5th) Dropped from the cast prior to filming.
Britney Pilzer (Isla Paradiso - 3rd) Announced to be a presenter at an awards show on April 28th. Speculation says she did not have an eligible partner for the show.
Estefania Gutierrez (Redemption Island - 4th) Recent social media activity. Spotted in public as well.
Jack Torleif (Redemption Island - 10th) Social media activity persisted through quarantine.
Karen Townie (The Bramblewood - 6th) Recent social media activity.
Nevaeh Kravitz (Ohan’ali - 6th) Social media activity persisted through quarantine. Speculation says she did not have an eligible partner for the show.
Omar Al-Shirazi (The Bramblewood - 11th) His wedding is set for May 1st. Speculation says he did not have an eligible partner for the show.
Rob Henriques (StrangerVille - 4th) Confirmed to be on The Challenge 4. Speculation says he did not have an eligible partner for the show.
Talia Straud (Oasis Springs - 9th) Recently announced her pregnancy on social media.
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Deserted Florence during the COVID-19
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Zawe and Tom Timeline
Preface: This should not be confused with when they first met. This is just when things seemingly started for them. Zawe said her and Tom sat next to each other at a play once, years prior. Both Tom and Zawe said they’ve seen each other at random events in London over the years. So they did not just meet in 2018.
2018
October 2nd - Zawe and Tom are both in Intelligence Squared’s Dickens vs. Tolstoy event.
October 10th - Zawe and Tom do a scene from Betrayal for a Harold Pinter birthday gala, and attend the after party.
October 11th - Zawe posts a Polaroid of her and Tom from the night before, on her instagram.
2019
February 12th - All About Eve premiere: video of Zawe waiting for Tom, paparazzi caption saying they left together in the same car
February 21st - they go see a Pinter play together
February 23rd - visit the White Cube art gallery
March 14th - dancing at the Betrayal premiere party in London
April 3rd - being cute at the Character Breakdown launch
April 7th - 2019 Olivier awards
May 23rd - Zawe is on the Talk Art podcast and makes some interesting remarks @ 27 and 34 minutes in
August 8th - Seated together at the Sea Wall/A Life, plus red carpet interaction
August 12th - leaving together after dinner with Charlie Cox
August 26 - US Open day 1 w/ Eddie Arnold
September 1st - US Open day 2
September 6th - The Sun releases an article saying they’ve been dating since February
September 22nd - Arriving to the theatre together with Bobby
October 13th - Zawe doesn’t deny dating rumors in Telegraph interview
October 15 &17 - Tom attends Zawe’s play preview and premiere
November 18th - Subway picture from the day of Zawe’s play preview
December 5th - Being cute at Tom’s Sardi’s event
2020
January 8th - Went to see Cyrano together
January 9th & 10th - Flew to Atlanta, paparazzi Atlanta Filming tweets about it the next day
January 18th - Spotted having dinner at The Optimist in Atlanta
February 3rd to 7th - Zawe goes to NYC and leaves in time for Tom’s birthday(feb 8th)
February 14th - Zawe’s Valentine’s Day post
March 5th - Zawe moves from Margate to Tom’s London place
April or May - Zawe’s quarantine photo shoot from Tom’s hotel suite in Atlanta
June 14th - Spotted together at Piedmont park in Atlanta
July 4th - Tom and Zawe take Bobby to the vet in Atlanta
July 26th - Zawe posts video from Tom’s Atlanta hotel suite
September 29th - Fan meets Zawe and Bobby at London park
November 7th - Fan meets Tom and Zawe in Atlanta hotel lobby, confirms they live together
November 17th - Zawe does a stream from Tom’s Atlanta hotel suite
November 22nd - Diana Hiddleston (Tom’s mom) is thanked for getting Tom and Zawe to join the NYT Christmas auction
2021
June 8th - Zawe does livestream from Tom’s London place
August - Fan sighting/meeting in the south of England
September 2nd - Spotted having dinner at Soutine in London
September 13th - Papped on vacation in Ibiza, Spain, first sighting of Zawe’s engagement ring
September 26th - Attended the 2021 Tony awards together
November 6th - Spotted at the closing night of Anything Goes
November 13th - Spotted walking Bobby in London
December 7th - Attended the People’s Choice Awards
December 8th - Attended UNICEF's Blue Moon Gala
December 11th - Attended Cabaret at the Kit Kat Club
December 15th - Belfast screening
December 16th - Tom mentions “we” more than once during Happy, Sad, Confused livestream
December 18th - Spotted shopping and walking in Regents Park
December 31st - Spotted buying wine at a Waitrose in Hampshire
2022
March 13 - Attended the BAFTAs and walked the red carpet together as a couple
March 17 - various news outlets report Tom and Zawe are engaged
May 11 - Tom confirms their engagement on The Zoe Ball Breakfast Show
Special thanks to @insanityclause @zawe-at-night @missmaji @the-real-zhora-salome and @unreal-entity for all your help!
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The Magic of Horary Astrology
Question: Where's my diploma?
Context: Since I moved to my current city in March 2018, I thought I had lost my tour guide diploma. Yes, in addition to being an astrologer and a psychology student, I am also strangely a professional in tourism. I had already moved houses again and while packing I still couldn't find it. At this point I was already thinking it might have been in a dump somewhere. I don't practice my profession, but every now and then I'd take some time to go hunting for my diploma to see if I could still call myself a tour guide, or if I were dreaming when I took that course. Until quarantine came, and while learning about horary astrology in my new found amount of spare time, I finally saw my chance to solve the mystery. I didn't really know about the magic of this beautiful sacred science yet, and this chart to find my stupid diploma was what gave me my first time experiencing awareness of cosmic order, of fate, the lord of time, Saturn.
First we take into consideration whether this chart will answer my question or not. This is a 2nd house type of question and the fact that the ascendant is on the triplicity, bounds and face of the 2nd lord (Mars) validades this chart. It's also the day of Mars and the hour of Mercury, the natural significator of documents, while it's going through a Cazimi moment. And the Moon is in the house of lost things, further emphasizing the subject.
The 2nd house lord is representative of my possessions, especially those that add value and support to me, like a diploma. Mars being that in the 1st house almost rising tells me not only that I had it all along, but that I'm about to find it pretty soon.
It only took me 5 minutes of opening this chart to solve a 2 years mystery. I was even more of a beginner in horary, but the position of the 2nd lord had me jumping from my bed to look for it before I could interpret anything more deeply. I looked at my wardrobe and I had a feeling; I went to it, took a quick look inside; then took a look around the room thinking, and then I knew I had to look inside the box that was on top of the suspended cabinet where I keep my sewing material above my bed. The box had a bunch of frames my mother bought because she wanted to hang all our diplomas and pictures on a wall, like a real Cancer mom, and I didn't let her because I thought it was corny. My diploma was inside one of the frames, but hidden between some other documents.
Mars is in Aries, so, according to William Lilly:
Places ♈️signifies. - Where sheep and cattle do feed, sandy or hilly grounds; a place of refuge for thieves, (as unfrequented places); in houses, the covering, cieling, or plastering; a stable for small beasts; lands newly taken in or recently ploughed, or where bricks or lime has been burnt.
Fire signs represent high places as Lilly emphasizes, because fire goes up and it's the lightest element. But also, the top of the cabinet above my bed is the closest thing I have to a "stable for small beasts" in my apartment, because that's where my cats like to take their naps, inside another box with their cushions.
Mercury Cazimi is the moment when Mercury is right at the heart of the Sun. When a planet is near the Sun, it represents something made invisible, since the Sun outshines everything. Mercury retrograde can bring things back and when it goes Cazimi there can be a revelation. Obviously, he's the natural ruler of documents and my diploma is having a powerful moment, finally showing up after years hidden in the comfort of my home (4th house), while the Moon is separating from it to transfer its light to me, Jupiter in Capricorn.
But there's a particularity about this. This whole thing was a Mercury retrograde-cazimi complete experience, because it was also a wonderful 9th house transit for me, as a realization through divination. It gave me a feeling of revelation when it worked, my face felt like it was reddening and my heart raced a little bit; I never felt so inside the world, like existence means something. It made me laugh and everything started spinning since then.
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Covid Journal
October 24th, 2020
Since early March I’ve been keeping a covid diary in a fantastic journaling app called Day One. It’s been really neat to see the progression of the virus over the last year. The journal has included current events, articles, stats, as well as the progression of my personal life throughout it all. When this is all over I’m going to use Day One’s feature that allows me to create a print book out of the journal for the purpose of showing my future children what it was like.
Here are a few photos from this year
January 2020
January 30th, 2020 | The Economist
“Outside China such quarantines are unthinkable.”
March 2020
March 2nd, 2020
March 6th, 2020
“Coronavirus cases surge as infections top 300.”
March 9th, March 11th, 2020
March 12th, 2020
March 14, 2020
March 19th, 2020 | Chicago
Cont...
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HELLO SOME OF YOU GUYS LIKED MISFITS AND SOME OF YOU GUYS LIKED GRADE 11 (i posted about that musical draft thingy back in march and um yea there have been a lot of changes fjxjf) AND GUESS WHAT DUDES I HAVE MORE MUSICAL CONCEPT SHITS TO RAMBLE ABOUT BECAUSE MY BRAIN IS WAY TOO HYPERACTIVE FOR MY OWN GOOD SO SIT BACK, RELAX AND ENJOY THIS CLUSTERFUCK
@ari-is-anxious have fun with this and i wish you the best of luck in trying to comprehend this-
+ Kasaysayan (which means History) - this is the 2nd musical concept thingy i made (the first one being Misfits) and yea i started thinking of this went I was 14. I kinda wanted it to tell a story of like the entirety of philippine history as narrated by students and i wanted to kinda emphasize how history has many faces and how many different factors essentially blur our perspective of what we view as the past. I also wanted to like draw parallels between what our ancestors have experienced and what we currently experience esp when it comes to sociopolitical and economic stuffs and I wanted to like correct a lot of misconceptions about ph history and provide more insight and info about ph's past (i.e how centuries of colonialism have affected our current culture and overall social mindset esp in regards to our want for validation from foreigners aka the whole #PinoyPride thing; how even though activism and revolution is like the main reason on as to why the Philippines even exists, it continues to be demonized here; the ideologies of some of our revolutionary heroes and presidents and why some of them are dicks; etc etc). Also I wanted to showcase like um PH music, art, and dance and how that has progressed and also regressed throughout the years (*shakes fist at colonizers*) and um YEA YOU CAN SEE WHY I EVENTUALLY AND RATHER QUICKLY DISCONTINUED THIS TJCJSJF THIS IS *NOT* DOABLE AT ALL THSJFHF it could work as a concept album and a one-time performance BUT NOT LIKE A LEGIT PRODUCTION SO YEA FOR NOW IT WILL STAY IN THE DRAFT FOLDER FJXNSJF but yea this idea then led to the next two ideas woo
+ Noli/Fili - started wanting to make this at the start of quarantine so like um march 2020 heck i even made a wholeass word doc for this fjdjdv so it's basically a ph-rock-rap-based musical adaptation of Jose Rizal's Noli Me Tangere (Touch Me Not) and El Filibusterismo (The Filibuster) (yes these two novels are like tne national novels here since rizal is our national here and yea these were originally written in Spanish) but the protagonist of El Fili (Simoun) takes charge of telling Noli's story in Act 1 while Noli's protag (Crisostomo Ibarra) takes charge of telling Fili's story in Act 2. Those two books have very different tones and those two characters have um VERY DIFFERENT world views so i thought it would be interesting to tell one's story through the eyes of someone different and yet also the same to provide a lot more insight on how the events in the novels affected these two protags (there is a Good Reason for this and um Filipinos who studied this in 9th and 10th grade know what i'm talking about fhshf if u wanna um know what i'm talking about and don't wanna read the novels (they are very long) i suggest looking up El Filibusterismo and um yea check out Simoun fjsjf). Like for example, there would be times that Noli's narrator (Simoun) (whose general demeanor is like um a lot more cunning and cynical and a lot more resentful of the events that have happened compared to Fili's narrator) would directly question the Noli protag's (Ibarra) actions while Fili's narrator (Ibarra) (he is a lot more um hopeful and peaceful compared to Simoun) often questions how Fili's protag (Simoun) turned into well um a very cynical and cunning person with a taste for revenge (I am trying my hardest to NOT spoil the novels here gjdjf) and yea because the story is set in Spanish Colonial times here, i wanna focus more on the sociopolitical aspects and problems in the novels and how those still remain relevant here, hence the ph-rock-rap-based music. Also I would like to point out that the curriculum here barely like goes into depth about the subject matter of the novels (esp the sociopolitcal parts) and how said subject matter shaped the characters here and HOW EVERY SINGLE THING IN THIS DAMN NOVEL IS STILL RELEVANT,,,so um basically the curriculum is currently missing the entire point of the novels since Rizal wrote these two with the intent to provide socioecononic and political commentary on the pure shit that many of the Filipinos experienced under Spanish colonial rule,,,SO THIS THINGY IS BASICALLY MY MIDDLE FINGER TO THE CURRICULUM AND ESSENTIALLY MY ATTEMPT TO SHOW MORE OF THE NOVELS COMPARED TO WHAT HAS BEEN TAUGHT TO US FJJSJFV this is gonna be a nightmare to write tho cause wow those novels are jampacked
+ Patron - if this ever becomes a thing, I will consider it the greatest thing i'll ever write gjcjdbc I REALLY WANT THIS TO BE A THINGY AAAA so the plot is barebones atm but it's basically about journalism and activism here in the Philippines (and how both can get you killed fjjsjf i'm not kidding these two can legit get you killed wah redtagging sucks shit and the anti terror law can suck even more shit) and how the youth are expected to be purveyors of the country's advancement and improvement despite the fact that our voices are oftentimes dismissed and even permanently silenced when what we say goes against what those in power want us to say,,,those this is basically Misfit's spiritual successor fjxjdjf both of those musicals share similar themes fjxns so yea expect me ranting about a lot of political stuff here and a lot of talking about the ideologies of past and present politics and revolutions and how those affect the masses and how the masses can shape them in return. There will also be talk on how journalism's role in shaping society and how proper dissemination of information and lack thereof can affect people's mindsets aND HOW JOURNALISM IS OFTENTIMES MANIPULATED TO MANIPULATE PEOPLE'S MINDSETS (STUDENT JOURNALIST AND ASPIRING PROFESSIONAL JOURNALIST'S RANTS GO BRRRRR YEA I HAVE A LOT TO RANT ABOUT).
Oh and also this musical is heavily inspired by both the noli and el fili novels and by spring awakening (Everything I Write Will Be Inspired By Spring Awakening dbjxd) in a sense that Act 1's active protagonist (who then becomes Act 2's passive protag) is named Elias and is based on both Elias from Rizal's novels and on Melchior Gabor (which is funny cause rizal's elias is NOTHING LIKE MELCHIOR GABOR SO UM LOOK IT'S GONNA BE HARD TO EXPLAIN JUST UM YEA IT'S MESSY) while the passive protagonist (who becomes the active protag by the end of act 1 and throughout the entire 2nd act) is named Cris Ibarra and is based on Moritz Stiefel and Rizal's Ibarra (more specifically um Rizal's Ibarra's growth into a very different character throughout the events of the two novels).
ALSOOO there is this one concept that made me really REAALLY want to make Patron an actual thingy and that is the existence of um Shadows in the show. Inspired by the voices in Deaf West Speing Awakening, these Shadows can always be found lurking on stage alongside their respective characters like um if Elias is in a scene, his shadow can also be found on stage somewhere. I kinda want them to like represent the characters' innermost thoughts and the other parts of themselves the characters' would like to hide through how the Shadows act on stage and um yea choreography gjsjf Patron is porbably gonna be very dance heavy so um yea it's a bit hard to explain so i'll just point to Alex Boniello and Daniel Durant's Moritz fjxjjf i kinda want it to be like that. The Shadows would be part of the show's ensemble and um yea lots of dancing and prop moving woo also at times they would be singing for the character they are assigned to like um while Elias would be in the middle of doing something on stage, his Shadow would be the one singing in his stead and when his Shadow sings, that's when the character becomes the most vulnerable to the audience because the Shadows often expose their characters' thoughts and worries to the audience that the characters themselves wouldn't really express. So like um the Shadows address the audience a lot gjxjsjd except for one aka Ibarra's Shadow. Instead of addressing the audience, Ibarra's shadow addresses IBARRA directly, often questioning Ibarra's actions (especially their hesitance in Act 1). ig ibarra's shadow is rather representative of what Ibarra would turn into in Act 2 when they take over as the Active protag. But um Ibarra's shadow still questions Ibarra frequently esp in regards to their risky actions so um yea Ibarra's shadow is kinda like the Fates the hadestown wherein they serve to sow doubt but over here Ibarra's shadow is meant to symbolize how insecure they feel in regards to their decisions which well, as the protag, make and break the show. Also um yea the rest of the characters' shadows also start addressing their characters more while the characters themselves start addressing the audience more so woo switcheroo! Also the dynamic that the characters have with each other is similar to the dynamics between the kids in Spring Awakening wherein they are just kids (well in this cause young adults aged 18-20) trying to figure out life in general and all that so woo
(also I would like to note that I really want Ibarra's role to be open to all genders in order to like make a statement that anyone can grow into the character Ibarra becomes throughout Patron but rn hmm i'm still thinking about how that will play out especially given that I kinda wanted Patron's Ibarra to have two love interests here aka Elias and Clara (kiiiiinda based on Maria Clara aka Ibarra's actual love interest from Rizal's novels but um YEA THERE ARE A LOT OF DEVIATIONS GJXSF) but tbh i'm still figuring out a way to make Clara have a much larger role here in terms of pushing the plot cause rn the Elias and Ibarra dynamic have an advantage since um active-passive protagonist switcheroo so I'm kinda thinking of a way to make Clara a secret 3rd protag that is both an active and a passive one? I dunno fjsjd honestly i'm still trying to figure out what Maria Clara represents in the novels cause I know for certain that Rizal did not write her to be a mere demure love interest so um yea WORK IN PROGRESS AND UM ALL IN ALL IBARRA CAN BE PLAYED BY ANY AND ALL GENDERS AND IBARRA IS PANSEXUAL BECAUSE I FUCKING WANT THEM TO BE GJSJJF)
+ Grade 12 - OKI SO LIKE I'VE POSTED ABOUT THIS BEFORE BACK IN MARCH BUT UM I'VE CHANGED SOME STUFF GJXJJD so anyways Grade 12 is well um designed to be a campy-please-don't-take-this-seriously-this-is-just-for-laughs-and-gags musical about 12th graders (i changed the grade to raise the stakes) that makes fun of Filipino TV tropes esp when related to teenagers while also providing a lit more insight on ad to what teenagers go through on a daily basis in terms of trying to grow into the person they want themselves to be while also trying to change to adapt to a world that more often that not goes against them. So yea it's not as heavy as the other musicals, heck I designed this after Preston Max Allen's Carrie 2 musical (dude check it out it has jenny rose baker and it's gold) so woo funsies but i also like this to mean something. Oh and also this is basically me ranting about Everything Wrong In The Philippine Education System (how it more often than not is really detrimental to the students' personal wellbeings through constant overwork and disregard of physical, mental and emotional health issues, its accessibility issues esp the issues experiences by those of the poorer sectors, the um very outdated info at times, how the system perpetuates classism and a shit ton of very detrimental social hierarchy bullshits esp through the implementation of the star sections (speaking as someone who's been in the "lower" sections and has also been in the star sections, I HAVE A LOT TO RANT ABOUT THIS ONE OH BOY FUN FACT I WANTED TO MAKE AN ACADEMIC PAPER ON THIS BUT MY 10TH GRADE TEACHER WOULDN'T LET ME) etc etc) plot is mainly barebones atm but um yea here are some of the updates to the characters: Kyla (formerly named Kate), Noel and Ella haven't changed that much but um I've decided to give the Halos Lagi Nalang number to Kyla and Max (nonbinary student that serves as a foil to Kyla in which Max is constantly being denied opportunities that they want while Kyla constantly refuses opportunities that Max wants; also yea i'll be talking about stories that trans and nonbinary students have experienced in both of my high schools through Max cause i really wanna bring attention to how the trans and nonbinary community is really being shat on despite the um sliiight improvement in the way schools treat the (cisgender) members of the lgbtq+ community; also they are just as ambitious as Ella (i envision her to be like um Draft Eva + Riley jfhdf) um yea major plot pusher woo I'd compare them to Draft Eva + Reese but um I Sincerely And Solemnly Promise To Not Screw Them Over In Act 2 fjjxfj) instead because they will be the ones with queerness being a much bigger factor to their individual plotlines compared to Noel and Ella.
The other main characters are um Marco (typical jock dude who's actually one of the more philosophical and introspective characters in the show; i want to like um highlight the whole sports scholarships debacle, how stereotypes can affect how people are treated in real life and also touch on the machismo culture that's um really being enforced here esp with him being an athlete and all; also he's really good friends with Max and through that friendship he learns that him slightly questioning his sexuality is a good thing so yea), Ruben & Lexi (i don't have that much planned for them atm because woo barebones plot but i do imagine them to be initially framed as the more antagonistic characters and have that like stereotype be taken apart as the show goes on esp considering that both are in the "lower sections" and are um more prone to stereotyping) aND A NARRATOR CHARACTER HMMM WHERE HAVE WE SEEN THIS BEFORE GJXJD oki but this Narrator (can be played by any gender as long as the actor IS VERY FUNNY LIKE COMEDIC TIMING IS A *MUST*) is based on the Narrator in PMA's Carrie 2 but I also want the narrator to be like um more crucial to the plot as the story progresses esp as they interact with both the audience and the characters a lot more so like um it's a bit hard to describe their exact role here because um BAREBONES PLOT FJXJD but altho they can't directly affect the story they are telling (cause so far my plan for them is like um they were a former classmate of 7/8 of the characters here but unfortunately they died due to a car accident), they can and do indeed influence the characters in it and all of the characters (except Kyla) know who they are (especially Ruben) so um yea. Also the solo I have planned for them is called Live On (which is um yea a spin off of Move On fjxjd) and through them, I plan to explore the tragedy of unexpected deaths and what happens to those left behind (this will be based on observations and accounts from many of my former schoolmates) and how many have yet to move on and how they choose to live on despite of that because they know that's what their former classmate, schoolmate, and loved on would've wanted.
SO OBVIOUSLY I OWE GRADE 12 TO SIR PRESTON MAX ALLEN GJXJFJD THANK YOU PMA FOR ONCE AGAIN INFLUENCING MY WORK WOO
+ Concepts - oki so this is the only musical so far that i wanna write solely in English nfjsj so this is inspired by Fun Home in which there are like versions of characters in different ages right? Over here there are 2 versions of 6 characters: the 17-18 year old ones, and the 27-28 year old ones. Through them, this musical will explore two main things: (1) the sad and depressing reality of having to give up one's artistic dreams and passions for the sake of practicality and (2) choosing to take a leap of faith and try to grasp on to whatever chances one may have left to live a life that means more than just making ends meet. Act 1 has the teenagers focus on Point 2 while the adults focus on Point 1; Act 2 has the teenagers focus on Point 1 while the adults end up focusing on Act 2. Once again, um barebones plot with even more barebones characters (heck i dont even have NAMES for them gnxnd) but i think it'll be pretty cool to elaborate upon the shitty circumstances here in the ph when it comes to artistic pursuits and how most of the kids I know are terrified of growing up because they don't want to give up dreaming even though that they know that they have to wake up. I also think it'll be cool to point out thay even though that yea situations like these suck, it'll never ever be too late to pick up the pieces and try again cause at the end of the day, life only ends when you say it will end: there will always be chances, you just need to be gutsy enough to grasp them. Also um yea I originally planned to post like a shit ton of poems this month that would basically be the lyrics of the songs that would go into this musical bUT I'M LAZY SO I'M THROWING AWAY THE POSTING SCHEDULE FJXJSJD anyways here r 2 of the poems/songs that i wanna make for this:
+ In 10 Years - a duet between one of the teenagers and their adult counterpart which is um basically the teen singing their optimistic yet really in-depth and mature perspective on chasing Point 2 while the adult sings about Point 1, wishing that they could tell their teen self about how disappointed they will be; i imagine this to be um kinda like the first version of Dear Theodosia but um more intense maybe fjdjf
+ Run - a duet between two teens who are best friends where one girl tries to convince the other to run and play with her in the nearby playground AND YES THIS DUET IS VERY FUCKING GAY JDJSJDF this was um originally part of Grade 12 tbh and it was supposed to be sung by Lexi and it was supposed to be about a 9th grade event that i personally was a part of where um 9th grade student researchers at a research seminar at a different freaking university took over the elementary students' playground when the seminar finished (I SHALL TREASURE THAT MEMORY FOREVER) and um yea it was basically about holding on to your childhood while you still can...aND THEN I UNINTENTIONALLY MADE IT GAY JFJSJSF Lexi is still getting that song about the research seminar event tho but um it won't be Run cause Run basically turned into a song that's not only about holding on to what's left of your childhood but also to the people you treasure that you know you have to leave behind sooner or later and um yea the girl that the one girl tries to convince to go to the playground agrees to that and then boom go duet stylized after 21 and Alone Now + I Don't Care by freaking preston max allen once again woo (i promise that this won't be plagiarism gndnd) (also altho the two girls have to go their separate ways by their graduation, they eventually meet again at the end of act 2 so woo hopeful ending for the sapphics
OKI THAT'S ALL FOR TODAY FHXHSHD THIS IS WAY TOO FUCKING LONG OF A RAMBLE GOOD GOD AAAAA SO UM IF ANYONE ELSE MADE IT TO THE END, I ONCE AGAIN WILL SEND YOU A SHIT TON OF CARBONARA-
#ari i'm so sorry but this is like...so unbelievably long and convoluted tjxjs GOODLUCK#AND I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS TJXJSF#so moral of the story is: my brain is too hyperactive for my own good#God help me#also God help those who are gonna try to read this fjxjs#so woo more musical concept rambles aaa#move on tw#move on#ask to tag#izzy's rambles and shit
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I did it! I read 33 books in 2020!
It’s been a shitty year, but boy, I completely blew past my goal. Previously, the most I’d ever read in a year was 16, in 2019. And before that, probably uhhh... probably in 2014ish, and probably only like 5, maybe 6. I never really considered myself a big reader, I have pretty severe ADHD and dyslexia, so this... this feels really big, for me, personally.
So, without further ado the full list:
Season of Storms by Andrzej Sapkowski (The Witcher mid-quel) -- finished January 4th, 2/5 stars
Star Wars: Hard Merchandise by K.W. Jeter (The Bounty Hunter Wars Trilogy #3) -- finished January 17th, 2/5 stars
Star Wars: Heir to the Empire by Timothy Zahn (The Thrawn Trilogy #1) -- finished February 2nd, 3/5 stars
Migration by Julie E. Czerneda (Species Imperative #2) -- finished February 18th, 4/5 stars
Mass Effect: Revelation by Drew Karpyshyn -- finished February 25th, 2/5 stars
The City of Brass by S.A. Chakraborty (The Daevabad Trilogy #1) -- finished March 12th, 4/5 stars
Ancillary Justice by Ann Leckie (Imperial Radch #1) -- finished March 29th, 3/5 stars [this is the book I was in the middle of when the pandemic hit, so, that was fun, I read most of this book in a state of panic]
The Goblin Emperor by Katherine Addison (Goblin Emperor #1) -- finished April 16th, 4/5 stars [this was the first book I read while quarantined, so I didn’t have a reading regimen ironed out the way I did at work, so this one took me forever to finish]
Leviathan Wakes by James S.A. Corey (The Expanse #1) -- finished May 3rd, 5/5 stars
Consider Phlebas by Iain M. Banks (Culture #1) -- finished May 21st, 3/5 stars
Caliban’s War by James S.A. Corey (The Expanse #2) -- finished May 30th, 5/5 stars
Slaughterhouse-Five by Kurt Vonnegut -- finished June 1st, 4/5 stars
The Strong Shall Live by Louis L’Amour -- finished June 2nd, 3/5 stars
Larissa by Emily Davenport -- finished June 4th, 3/5 stars [see how close together the last several have been? I was really feeling it here but was also amidst a depression spiral.]
Abaddon’s Gate by James S.A. Corey (The Expanse #3) -- finished June 13th, 4/5 stars
Regeneration by Julie E. Czerneda (Species Imperative #3) -- finished June 25th, 4/5 stars
Cibola Burn by James S.A. Corey (The Expanse #4) -- finished July 4th, 5/5 stars
Nemesis Games by James S.A. Corey (The Expanse #5) -- finished July 16th, 5/5 stars [began a different book July 5th -- The Curse of Chalion by Lois McMaster Bujold, but hated it so deeply I gave up on the 9th and immediately jumped to this book, objectively the right choice because this is easily one of the best books I’ve ever read]
The Assassin’s Curse by Cassandra Rose Clarke (Magic of Blood and Sea #1) -- finished July 21st, 2/5 stars
Babylon’s Ashes by James S.A. Corey (The Expanse #6) -- finished August 5th, 4/5 stars
Six-Gun Snow White by Catherynne M. Valente -- finished August 13th, 5/5 stars [read this book in one sitting, I loved it so much]
Gideon the Ninth by Tamsyn Muir (The Locked Tomb #1) -- finished September 9th, 3/5 stars
Persepolis Rising by James S.A. Corey (The Expanse #7) -- finished September 19th, 5/5 stars
All Systems Red by Martha Wells (The Murderbot Diaries #1) -- finished September 21st, 2/5 stars
Strange Dogs by James S.A. Corey (The Expanse #6.5) -- finished October 1st, 5/5 stars
Dragon Age: Tevinter Nights by various -- finished October 12th, 4/5 stars [there were some truly 5/5 stories in here imo, but being a short story collection, the stinkers dragged it down]
Tiamat’s Wrath by James S.A. Corey (The Expanse #8) -- finished October 19th, 5/5 stars
Trail of Lightning by Rebecca Roanhorse (The Sixth World #1) -- finished October 26th, 4/5 stars
Ancillary Sword by Ann Leckie (Imperial Radch #2) -- finished November 8th, 4/5 stars
Dragon Age: Asunder by David Gaider -- finished re-read November 18th, 4/5 stars [first read in 2014]
The Player of Games by Iain M. Banks (Culture #2) -- finished November 28th, 4/5 stars
Remnant Population by Elizabeth Moon -- finished December 14th, 5/5 stars
Ancillary Mercy by Ann Leckie (Imperial Radch #3) -- finished December 28th, 2/5 stars
And that’s all she wrote! I had a blast! Didn’t read nearly as much fantasy as I planned to, the sci-fi clearly really drew me in this year. I’d also been putting off The Expanse for soooo long, but boy, it sucked me in like absolutely nothing else.
Standouts:
Caliban’s War, Cibola Burn, Nemesis Games, and mother fucking Tiamat’s Wrath absolutely blew me the hell away. Really, nothing quite compared to The Expanse, and these four in particular were just...... perfect.
Six-Gun Snow White was a goddamn weird one, but I couldn’t help reading it in one sitting. It really hit all the right notes for me. I could stand for some more wild west retellings of fairytales, you know?
Remnant Population just reeeally touched me. This is such a gorgeous little first contact story. Sometimes I think I hate slow-paced books, but then I find something like Remnant Population and I realize that slow pacing can be incredible. Oh, how I cried at the end of this one.
The City of Brass was just as good as I’d hoped! I can’t wait to read the sequel in 2021; it’s been sitting on my shelf since September!
The Player of Games just hit me right in my strike zone. I’d almost given up on the Culture series after Consider Phlebas, which I’d found really mediocre, but the character writing, pacing, world building, tension... everything just gelled so well in this book, I’m excited to read more Banks content.
Trail of Lightning was so good! Another book whose sequel is sitting on my shelf as we speak; the post-apocalyptic Navajo Witcher vibe was everything I ever wanted it. The cheese and melodrama were a little too much, but hey, I fell in love with Maggie Hoskie and everything about the Sixth World.
Tevinter Nights was exactly the Dragon Age 4 tease I’d been hoping for. There’s so much fun to be had here. I wrote reviews of each and every short story in the book here, if you’re interested!
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Since the pandemic began, there has been a lot of talk about the supposed lack of scientific information available at the outset, a void which led to our failures to contain the virus. The science has evolved, this line of thinking goes, allowing us to pursue the proper mitigation strategies.
On the one hand, of course, that is true for any event like this. Especially one so dramatic, involving a global pandemic with a novel pathogen. We learn more as events proceed.
On the other hand, that’s not a completely accurate reflection of what happened. A lot of what was known from very early on took months, if not more, to make its way into our public health guidelines. Some are still being debated, to great frustration.
Perhaps one the most striking examples of all this is what happened with what we learned, and refused to learn, from the Diamond Princess cruise ship in February of 2020, a tragic natural experiment if there ever was one. Thousands of people were trapped inside a cruise ship as the disease spread. Besides the tragedy, it allowed us to observe what happened with the coronavirus inside a closed environment, revealing many things that could be harder to discern in a large, open city.
I recently watched the HBO documentary on the cursed cruise ship, which was one of the first big outbreaks with global attention. It was, of course, a tragedy: what started with single reported infection ended with 712 known infections and 14 deaths. When it was ongoing, in early February, it was the biggest outbreak outside of China, accounting for half the known cases.
It all started on February 1st, when the first passenger who had disembarked six days earlier was confirmed to have been infected. By February 10, at least 135 people were confirmed to have been infected in a rapidly growing outbreak despite all the passengers being entirely quarantined in their rooms. Despite the quarantine, 567 of the total 2,666 passengers on the ship eventually tested positive.
The first crucial piece of information needed to contain this disease has been the fact that it transmits from people without symptoms. In the HBO documentary, the ship’s doctor reiterates that by February 9th, he was sure that people without symptoms were infecting others. That fact had already been reported in scientific papers, urgently proclaimed by China’s minister of Health in January of 2020, apparent from multiple epidemiological reports already in the record. But many experts in the Western world found that difficult to believe (a topic I covered before for this newsletter), and we did not act upon this crucial piece of information until much later in the pandemic (I wrote about transmission from people who were not sick, and thus could not know they were infected, in March of 2020 in my first op-ed calling for masks—it was so clear even then that I had no problem convincing the fact-checkers at the New York Times).
Watching the documentary, it also becomes very clear that the disease is airborne. There really is no other reasonable explanation for how 567 passengers confined to their rooms, served food by heavily masked people, would get infected at that scale that quickly. In fact, this airborne transmission was quickly discerned by scientists around the world. One of the architects of Japan’s mitigation strategies, Dr. Oshitani, had told me that this was the case that convinced him that the pathogen was airborne (I had interviewed him for this article on aerosol transmission and ventilation for an article I wrote last July).
But it wasn’t evident just to a select few. Here’s an interview with a BuzzFeed science journalist explaining it in a pretty straightforward way on February 23, 2020:
GARCIA-NAVARRO: Cruise ships, as you wrote, are notorious for spreading illnesses. I have to start by asking, are epidemiologists really surprised that after two weeks, more than 600 people have been infected on one ship alone?
VERGANO: The people we spoke to who've studied this sort of thing in the past aren't surprised at all. And it sort of keyed on the question of, how does this virus behave? And now it's becoming apparent - or it seems apparent - we have to be very careful...
GARCIA-NAVARRO: Right.
VERGANO: ...That it's more like the flu, like influenza A, where airborne transmission earlier in an infection - during the sneezing rather than coughing stage - seems to be a factor here. And that brings into play the question of how this ship was ventilated and, you know, airborne transmission in general.
GARCIA-NAVARRO: Well, let's talk about the ventilation system.
VERGANO: So the people who've studied this - and one of the surprises here was that there actually has been a lot of research looking into this question - say that ventilation systems on cruise ships aren't any good at stopping airborne diseases from spreading, that there've been studies of flu where you have, in a week's time, you know, one patient infecting 40 people. And likewise, the air filters simply aren't designed to screen viruses. After a while, the whole system gets gunked up with it. And just speaking, sneezing, coughing in your ward room - that gets picked up by the air system, you know, and...
GARCIA-NAVARRO: And it doesn't get filtered out and maybe gets passed on.
VERGANO: In the past, that's what's happened. And unless this cruise ship had some kind of impossible-to-have ventilation system, that was going on.
For reference, here’s the contact tracing data on the ship from Japan from February of 2020 which clearly shows that non-close contacts are playing a significant role:
[graph]
The third crucial piece of the puzzle of transmission was determining whether this pathogen behaves like flu (like the H1N1 in 2009), which spreads in a fairly uniform way, or if it was overdispersed, meaning that a few people infect many in clusters. (Here’s an article on that topic I wrote later in 2020).
The overdispersion was harder to discern from Diamond Princess alone. But on that puzzle, too, the early contact-tracing from multiple countries was already clear, that clusters were playing a big role. So clear that here’s the graphic on the role of clusters Japan was already including, in February of 2020, in its documents for contact-tracers:
[img]
And here’s a paper that was published officially by June 30th, but had been available since February of 2020 describing the approach:
[img]
Put all three together: airborne transmission, clusters driving the epidemic, and presymptomatic transmission. Not only do we get a clear and consistent picture of many things that have happened since, we also get the mitigation strategy. Further, all three dimensions support each other: transmission from people not (yet) coughing or sneezing very much argues in favor of aerosol transmission, which explains how large clusters can be driving the epidemic and how transmission in a situation like that ship can occur. And the mitigation and other strategies become clear: pay attention to clusters and ventilation, universal masks, different policies for indoors and outdoors, etc.
But all that happened far away, you might be thinking. We didn’t have examples like that to study here, and there might have been language differences and other barriers. That’s not even really true, as a lot of these papers got published in English as well, but let’s put that aside for a moment. Take a look at the Skagit Valley Choir case in Washington state. Careful, pandemic-aware people showed up at a huge space—distanced, no hugs, hand-sanitizers everywhere—and 53 of them got infected in one evening. They had even propped the door open to avoid knob touching. And yet, this event was not seen as definite evidence of aerosol transmission. It was not even seen as a definite evidence of rare aerosol transmission—a position that would still be wrong, but at least plausible, essentially arguing that happened but it was a one-time thing.
I am not linking to all those who argued against the facts, because focusing on individuals is not correct. But multiple experts insisted for a long time that the infections might have resulted from close contact or fomite transmission during break, or been the result of snack sharing. The CDC report on the Skagit case mentions aerosols as a possibility, but just that: a possibility and emphasizes how fomites and contact were possible as well.
However, as a recent Times article on choir case notes, aerosol scientists had immediately noticed what had happened, and what was actually likely, and what was really a stretch:
If, as the C.D.C. and the World Health Organization were then insisting, the virus was passed mostly through contaminated surfaces, known as fomites, or droplets exhaled from an infected person that would fall within six feet, how and why did so many members of the Skagit Valley Chorale get sick? Could all 53 of them really have touched the same door handle, or orange, or folding chair? Had all of them stood face to face, talking to one another, less than two yards apart? Intuitively, the choristers knew what must have happened: The virus had drifted throughout the room and lingered in the air they breathed.
Eager to make sure others could learn from their experience, Burdick and the chorale leadership readily agreed to interviews. On March 29, an article appeared in The Los Angeles Times that described their rehearsal. One of the millions of readers who saw the story was Jose-Luis Jimenez, an aerosol scientist at the University of Colorado, Boulder. He and nearly 40 of his colleagues were trying to get the W.H.O. to acknowledge that the virus was being transmitted through aerosols — particles that can stay aloft and float considerable distances. (U.S. officials had been playing down this prospect. In late February, the C.D.C. director, Robert Redfield, said the widespread wearing of masks was unnecessary; in early March, the National Institute of Allergy and Infectious Diseases director, Anthony Fauci, said much the same.) Jimenez dashed off a note to the reporter, Richard Read, and described the case as “the clearest example of that potential mode of transmission.” He wanted to investigate. Read connected him with Carolynn Comstock, who provided answers to a long list of questions about where everyone sat and what they touched.
Dr. Jimenez did indeed do the necessary investigation and publish a very good paper, tracing what had happened. I’ve since interviewed, and later collaborated with Dr. Jimenez (on an upcoming paper in The Lancet—it will be out soon) and he’s certainly outspoken (as he should be!) but my experience is that he’s been very open to debate and consideration of all evidence. Here’s how he describes it to the New York Times:
The outbreak also provided crucial evidence for scientists seeking to understand how the virus was being transmitted. In the months that followed, Hamner and Jimenez, along with their respective colleagues, published separate studies of the Skagit Valley case. Hamner’s, which appeared in the C.D.C.’s Morbidity and Mortality Weekly Report last May, noted that “the 2.5-hour singing practice provided several opportunities for droplet and fomite transmission, including members sitting close to one another, sharing snacks and stacking chairs at the end of the practice.” But the notion that those activities caused so many infections, as Jimenez characterized it to me, is “absurd.” He says that that emphasis helped enable the W.H.O. and the C.D.C. to maintain and defend their guidelines. They have since revised them to acknowledge that the virus is transmitted by aerosols — the W.H.O. on July 9, the C.D.C. on Oct. 5. But many scientists, Jimenez included, argue that they still haven’t stressed enough that inhaling aerosols is the dominant mode of infection, which has led entities like schools and public-transportation agencies to put time and money into cleaning regimens that would be better spent on masks and ventilation. “We proved how you get this thing,” Comstock told me. “And it’s so damn frustrating to watch the news and see that they’re ignoring it.”
As I said on Twitter upon reading this article, to imagine fomites playing a major role in such a case—transmission to 90% of the careful, distanced people present in a large space in a single evening—requires contortionist thinking, to put it politely.
[tweet]
And although this may seem hard to believe, contortionist thinking is exactly what we encountered for a long time. Alternative explanations were tossed out: What if the people shared snacks? What if it was the folding chairs? What if, what if, what if? Unlikely, if not downright impossible scenarios kept being raised as reasons for doubt, rather than accepting the evidence that had been screaming at us, not just from one case either but from multiple streams of evidence, all over the world.
Dr. Jimenez had a recent thread on his experiences. Something he said in the thread really struck me:
[tweets]
It’s not a good moment when a prominent scientist—who was, along with others, evidence-based, correct and prescient on a topic of great importance within his expertise—feels the need to look up “gaslighting” because he is lacking the word to otherwise describe his experience.
I realize that there is a lot of focus on misinformation that we recognize: the claims of 5G spreading via vaccines, of many deaths following vaccination, claims that vaccines don’t work at all, or even the idea that vaccines might have caused the death of a 99-year old, already visibly infirm, prominent member of the royal family in the United Kingdom. I understand all that and the role of such misinformation. But as I close the misinformation trifecta series about problems beyond the ones that are “over there,” committed by others, I’d like us not to forget what actually happened in more mainstream and arguably more important circles, and is still influencing how we have been responding—and failing to respond—to this pandemic.
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Plum blossoms in the snow (II)
Part 4: April and May (II)
Disclaimer: I try to keep things objective (if I include my personal opinion, it’s in cursive and in brackets), but I’m biased because of the XZ friendly content I’m usually exposed to and by my own views of their situation. Open to discussion, but please make sure you’ve enough information to do so.
(There was a mistake in the last post, that an anon pointed out. I’ve edited the post. Thank you!)
In May, some of the controversy resurfaced, in the topic of how idols and celebrities affect the younger generations, and, even how they affect younger generations by affecting those in charge of their education.
TV documentary
At the beginning of May, a documentary appeared on the news about a mother worried for her high school daughter, who neglected her studies “because she was infatuated with XZ”. Among other things, she’d ask for money to buy XZ’s new song (0’5 by the way) and she’d borrow money from her classmates to buy things he endorses.
Her daughter also appeared on the documentary, saying that her academic performance has nothing to do with XZ, but rather with the pandemic situation, as she’s not used to online classes. It turned out that she had skipped a grade, and entered high school directly from 2nd year of middle school, so she lacked the support of a network of friends and encouragement in her new situation. She said that as soon as she got her motivation back, she’d keep studying.
However, general public sided with her mother, and said that this kind of obsession with an idol was leading the youths astray.
Interview with Economic View
XZ also gave an interview, for the first time since 2/27, for Economic View, alking about many topics, the “XZ fans incident” among them (I found this video with subtitles, and I think the subtitles are quite good).
youtube
He said, among other things:
“Everything happened in the climax of the country’s fight against the epidemic. I was deeply troubled and worried while I was quarantined at home. I also felt very if this incident has brought trouble to netizens. If that’s the case, from here, I want to say a sincere ‘I’m sorry’.
Since my debut to now, I’ve never ceased to receive well-meaning criticism and guidance. I went from being a normal person to go on to the stage. From my friends, from seniors… I’m always open to them. But of course, there is malicious criticism, some fake rumours and slander, that I think don’t affect just me, but also my friends and family. I don’t feel wronged. I just don’t understand.
When I was 19-20, and I first used w/ibo, I didn’t realize. That in such a public platform, I made inappropriate comments that have hurt other people. I apologize for the consequences of the inappropriate comments I’ve made in the past.”
He also said that the fans always did public welfare projects in his name, and that he got energy from them.
“I hope fans can live their own lives well, and don’t resort to extreme actions to hurt others or themselves.”
This interview was of course praised for showing responsibility and answering almost all questions. We can all notice that his responses are very carefully worded, that he takes his time thinking about what he’s going to say and how, and that his answers are very calculated. Don’t misunderstand me. He did it very well in this interview, and I don’t think he was insincere, but he needed to be very careful about what he said at the time.
Other idols and their sasaengs
On the 9th of May, WYB posted the following:
“I work very hard, can’t I even nap for a bit in the car? My staff stood in front of your car, and you still dared to drive forward? For a long time, strangers come and knock my hotel room’s door, they install tracking devices in my car, there’s people following me no matter where I go… unbelievable! I really can’t understand you!”
A crazy fan had followed him on her car. When the security had tried to stop her, stepping in front of her car, she still tried to drive forward.
To this, UNIQ OFFICIAL account expressed their support like this:
“Against this kind of vile behaviour, report to the police! Let the law investigate their legal responsibility! To those who go against other people’s security and don’t respect your privacy, zero tolerance!”
The teacher’s incident
On the 10th, XZ posted:
“Please listen to me carefully once more! I wish you to take good care of your studies, careers, personal lives, and to place them before “chasing stars”. Study hard, take your job seriously. Be responsible and assume your obligations, follow the rules of your career and abide by professionalism. I don’t your help.”
This message may seem harsh to some of their fans. So, why did XZ publish such a comment?
A primary school teacher had posted a video of his students cheering for XZ. This angered a lot of netizens, who said that she was using a position of power to “indoctrinate” young children to like this idol. The haters affirmed that she was guiding the children to “chase” stars, and that she’s a bad influence (I actually agree with this one, you really shouldn’t do this in a classroom, but to involve XZ again is going too far).
XZ and the teacher were reported to the authorities. The Ministry of Education answered that the teacher had been suspended from her job and the school’s director had received a formal reprimand. The teacher’s w/ibo account had also been blocked. This is the main reason for XZ’s post.
Talking about unreasonable responses, after this incident with the teacher, the next day the topic “XZ’s supertopic teachers group” went on hot search in w/ibo. A group consisting of more than 1000 teachers, all fans of XZ, had been formed inside the supertopic. This was widely questioned by the netizens and haters.
To be fair, this didn’t happen just to XZ. Around the same time, another video emerged, with a teacher encouraging his kindergarten students to cheer for Wang Junkai. So with this incident, the Ministry of Education started to pay attention to similar content.
On the 14th, XZ forwarded an article by People’s Daily about teachers using their students to cheer for their idols and asking
“Don’t go beyond the limits of your professionalism. Don’t leave the circle of rationalism. The fan quan can’t circle everything” (”quan” means circle)
Many more teachers were reported, and in response, the XZ’s fans association posted this:
“There are many voices criticizing XZ’s fans right now. We accept the criticism. XZ has told his fans to “pursue the idols” in a civilized and rational way, but some still display unreasonable behaviour. These actions have a great negative impact on him. We apologize to him and to other fans in their name.”
This even extended to a teacher teaching a course of cyber-violence. She used XZ as an example of cyber violence and haters’ attack. This was brought again to the authorities by the haters, and she was suspended from her job. Luckily, her students and their parents were very supportive and defended her, so she came back to her post.
(This was just ridiculous. Really).
This is quite a curious thing: even though we can see that objectively, this teacher didn’t do anything wrong, the department deemed her at fault due to the large number of reports.
(It’s a thinking that goes along the lines of “if a lot of people think she has done something wrong, then she must have done something wrong”.)
So if haters can’t find anything to criticize in XZ, they’ll turn to his fans.
More support...
15th of May. A screenwriter and director posted a comment praising XZ and lamenting about his situation. The next day, he updated saying that he had been attacked in private comments because of his post, so he was very angry by it (he was angry with haters, not with xz).
On that day a photographer that had worked with him also praised him, saying he was humble and polite. He was also attacked by haters and antis, saying he had only praised XZ out of all the idols he had worked with, so he had to have ulterior motives, such as being paid by his studio or insulting the other idols in disguise.
People noticed that if someone defends XZ, no matter who they are, they’ll be attacked. No matter what XZ does, he’ll be criticized by some. If he doesn’t do anything, the haters turn on to his fans. Hater were trying to destroy every effort he made, and they managed it easily at first. After each appearance in public, he faces all kinds of comments. So conspiracy theories surged, about a mastermind behind the haters.
Even the lawyer that was managing XZ’s case was attacked by haters.
(Who in his right state of mind calls a lawyer with their own mobile phone to insult them? This logic and rationale amazes me…)
... and a little disappointment
At the end of May, the photos of him filming a episode of the season 2 of 青春环游记 were leaked on S/na News. He did participate in the recording, but the episode didn’t include him in the end (aired mid-June). A worker said they had been feeling pressure from various fronts, and finally felt that it’d be best not to include him (I suppose they feared the pressure from the antis).
In the midst of disappointment, his fans mostly reacted by keeping a positive attitude: “he posted two selfies lately, he shot a cute video making a drink (the douyin video), he seems in a good mood in all them. With them he was trying to cheer us fans. He has told us not to be used by others, not to get carried away by antis, not believe rumours, and to not be suspicious of his studio. What’s an episode in a variety show? He got paid anyway just for recording it. Let’s not cry over it.”
Truly, in spite of everything that happened at February and March, I think this is the kind of comments he deserves from his fans: people who are a little bit sad because he didn’t make it to the episode in the end, but who are still supporting him, waiting for his next project and listening to what he says.
←Part 4 (I): Plum blossoms in the snow (I) | Part 5 and 6: A snowy summer→
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This is a weird year to not give a shit about Christmas. I mean, I do kind of a shit but it’s like one full one, max. Realistically less than that. Because as much as I love the holidays, this year I also am sad, and Matt and I are both kind of phoning it in which sucks but it is definitely *both* of us, and I just. I want to take 800 naps and not worry about all the delicious sweets and carbs I’m eating and still going to eat until the grocery stores restock all their produce on like January 9th.
But it’s a weird year to not give a shit about Christmas because everyone I know in CO so far seems to be in one of two camps: they don’t give a shit either but I don’t know them well enough to ask about it so it’s awkward, or they are ALL ABOUT IT!!!!!!!!! like even more than usual which also makes sense given the year we’ve collectively had but is still awkward somehow. It’s just that neither one makes very joyous, cheerful conversation and I realize I’m the lowest common denominator here either way.
The tree we bought from a fenced-in thing in a parking lot a few weeks ago cost $8,000,000 but we did it anyway because we were there, and it looks great, but I would so much rather be in Chicago and not have one at all. (I saw a charge in my new checking account a few days later from some soup place for almost $200 and thought my account info had been stolen already, in record time, and was even kind of impressed it all went towards soup. Nope, it was a Christmas tree/soup mashup I guess. Who knew.)
I also want to watch 100 movies a day but Matt’s desk is in the living room again and he has one of those clacky keyboards- absolutely not. One day we’ll live somewhere that actually suits us. We were so close with this one!
My resolution for next year is to read 20 pages a day, physical pages (I think I’ve bought 9 or 10 books since moving here? And have finished 0 of them even though I’ve started all and they seem great), and also to intentionally move my damn body at least 3x/week through March, and ideally more after that. We have a Peloton, we live in a complex with a gym and a pool and a hot tub (COVID capacity yadda yadda but all I’d have to do is email to reserve a time slot, no one is using anything), oh hey also we live in fucking Colorado AND I have a fucking SUV now specifically for ~nature. And yet! I manage to spend my free time endlessly scrolling through tiktoks on my comfortable but busted couch in an apartment with weird-smelling heat. My back hurts, my shoulder hurts, and I just bought a half dozen Krispy Kremes. It’s fine, we’re all fine, I’m just saying.
I’m looking at photos from early 2019, when I was finishing school and was looking the best but mentally and emotionally doing the worst really, just all around. I wasn’t eating or sleeping (dissertation defense + awful advisor = kill me) and somehow put just enough bronzer on most days to convince everyone who didn’t know better that I was fine. I want to look like that again while *also* feeling good about myself and my life this time. I am the only pressure here, I don’t feel obligated to lose this quarantine weight, etc. - I just want to do it for myself.
Anyway. I forgot I started this post 90 minutes ago and have been going through my Instagram stories archive. I need to do this more often. Sometimes I do cool shit, I need to do that more often (and document it exactly for things like this) too. Goodnight.
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9th of October, 2020
"The One with the Cards Laid Bare"
[INCREDIBLY LONG, SORRY FOR CLOGGING THE TAG]
There were very tense energies in our classroom before V's double class. We already knew she'd cried today, we knew where she'd be working from other classes, so we all knew what would come, and it still was bad. One of the boys said he heard that she hopes we're not all angry at her and that we won't hate her for her decision. There was not an inch of anger or hatred in any of us, just heartbreak. We knew how much we'd cry seeing her leave. We were afraid of this goodbye. But it had to come eventually. The last class she'll ever teach. The last two lessons she'll ever have.
She was late. Only a couple minutes, but seeing she's always on time, or even a bit early, it was worrying. I walked outside to find her, and when I did, I saw her, coming up the stairs with two boys from the class, fresh back from lunch. Immediately as she saw me, she raised her index finger and said: "No." I didn't really understand it, until she continued: "I'm not gonna cry. I'm trying to go at least two minutes without crying." My heart was in shambles, and nothing even happened yet.
She started by telling us an e-mail is not how she wanted us to find out. She wanted to tell us herself, but not until today, probably not until the end of class, even though she's known for quite a long time she wanted to leave. She didn't tell us, because she wanted these last days not to be chaotic, so we could still focus and do our best in class. There were signs, though. And I should have known. There's one in basically every post I wrote this year. Funny thing is, when I told you about how she was with the girl from the other class and I thought something was up, it was only my gut feeling. She hadn't told them yet. Only in the last 20 minutes of that double class.
She also told us who will be replacing her, just to get the professional part quickly over with. V said she expects us to treat them fairly, even if she won't be here to check on us. We keep this promise. Most of the time, it works.
Being a teacher doesn't pay well, and here, in our country, the profession itself is not respected the way it should be. 10 years of experience in the field means nothing, she said. The new education system is horrible, unbearable, and she's had enough of feeling like she's in a toxic relationship. Not with us, with teaching. She said she used to feel very anxious when she got here, and by now I know what she hadn't told us in that moment, that she still doesn't feel good thinking about school. She has to leave for her own sake, even though she feels incredibly guilty about it. Even though she'll miss us.
She said, through tears, constantly stopping to take a deep breath and gather her thoughts, that teaching is something she was planning to do her whole life long, but she has to step back now. Even though she has "the seniors, standing before their graduation exams, [us], whom [she's] bonded with", she can't do it anymore. And when one of the girls asked her if she really did love us, she said: "Would I have stayed so long if I didn't?"
We spent long minutes in class discussing the education system, and when I said I didn't know about something that supposedly came from the weaker one of the theatre universities here at home, V was surprised that I hadn't read it. She called me a nickname again, a new one. I've been babygirl and I've been fairy bug before, but not once have I been the name that translates to "my life". Spanish speakers, it's like when you guys say mi vida to someone you love. That's what V called me. I don't remember her ever having called someone that in class.
Between classes, Bandana Friend, who was sick, joined us via video call to speak to V, as she really wanted to say goodbye, at least like this. I stood right beside V as they spoke, out of the camera's sight, unlike my classmates, constantly goofing off in the background, making both V and my friend laugh a little. As I stood there, I couldn't help but marvel at V's eyes from up close, in the light. I don't think I've ever seen a more enchanting eye colour before, and I find nearly every pair of eyes I see pretty. Seriously, I wasn't overexaggerating in any of my posts. If you once catch her eye, you won't know when to stop looking.
After a while, though, my classmates got a bit much, still during the call, and there I was, gathering bravery and doing something I've never done before. I stroked V's arm for a second or two, like I've wanted to so many times before, to show sympathy. She didn't even look at me, didn't even flinch, she probably knew who was touching her. And, seeing how unresponsive, how calm she was about it, I couldn't help but think: "Is this something I could've done this whole time?"
Before the second class with her started, Debate Friend called her a derivative of her first name (though she made sure to say Miss with it), and V just told her not to be rude. Hours pass, and V lets her (and us all, indirectly) call her by her first name, which is something we're still adapting to, but I'm rushing too far ahead, let's slow down a little.
The second class went well, she wasn't crying anymore, on the contrary. We laughed a lot, she told us her honest opinion on a lot of us, who asked her what she thinks of them, and gave advice if needed. I didn't ask. I figured that if she wants to tell me something, she will. Then a very crazy chain of events happened.
She looked like she was gonna tear up again, and I couldn't sit and watch anymore. I stood up and walked right in front of her, not daring to ask for a hug, but hoping she'll get the message with arm gestures. It took her a bit, but when she did, she couldn't help but yell something that I would translate to: "[Specs] is jumping me!". The word she used here is something usually used in a romantic or flirty context. (Translation was never my forte.) You can probably imagine the laughter, and also my face as I realise that not even on her last day could she go without sassing me at least once.
But then. Oh, then. The next thing I hear as I turn towards her is as she says: "C'mere, Little Me." and before I know it, I find myself sobbing in her arms again, and thinking about how this happened. She seemed taken aback by or uncomfortable with the comparison the last time we spoke about it in March, before the quarantine. When did she accept it, or how? Now as I re-read that post, as I'm writing this one... could the turning point have been me calling her my sister? I had so many questions, but all I could do was cry.
Class was nearing the end when I finally managed to stop sobbing and ask her one thing I've been meaning to for ages: what her tattoos mean. "How much should I go into detail?" she asked with sparkling eyes. She wasn't even surprised I knew about the two on her shoulder blades — but I was, when she motioned with her fingers she actually had three. Before telling me about them, she jokingly said something along the lines of "I'm not gonna strip for you" (as all 3 are covered by clothes), and me being me, I immediately threw my hands up, face probably red, and said: "Nononononono, obviously [not]!"
Funny thing is, the two on her shoulder blades are actually quotes from the last book she had us read, the last thing we discussed with her in class on Wednesday. So this is what she meant when she said she had personal connections to it! After she told me which parts they're from, she jokingly added "Very English teacher [of me]...", to which I just laughed and responded "Yeah, very."
By the time I'm writing this, I already had to listen to the headmaster, one of V's replacements, as he bragged about knowing of these two tattoos. Heh. That's cute. It's still 2-1 to me, sir. Not only have I seen them partially before, which you said you haven't, but I also know about the one she most definitely never told you about. And the one I'm most definitely not gonna tell you guys about. Sorry. Some things just have to stay between V and I.
"Also, no one noticed that this is the first time since I came here that I've worn a band T-shirt!" she complains to me jokingly. "Well, I was used to your graphic shirts, so I didn't think much of it," I reply. She's very enthusiastic in telling me what exactly is on it, without me even asking. This woman put on a shirt that essentially disses Christianity — in a religious school. Unbelievable. I love her.
Somewhere around that time, I asked her to let me walk with her to the teacher's lounge, Bookworm Friend convinced her to take a photo with our squad (which had basically everyone I know, my own father included, telling me we look identical), I stroked her arm again (I no longer remember what the reason was, but she still must've felt it pretty natural, seeing she didn't react), and like 3/4 of the class came to hug V goodbye. Meanwhile, another girl I've been classmates with for ages, but never particularly liked, hugged me to try and comfort me. It caught me off-guard, but I've never felt more like our class is a community.
People from other classes came to talk as she walked outside, but I waited until she was alone, and most probably so was she. She promised, likely knowing that I wanted to talk privately, so we didn't leave until it was just the two of us left.
"Come, Little Me," she said again, as we got going. She liked this phrase so much that she repeated it in English. "Mini Me." Then I found out why the English. Turns out, her native English speaker boyfriend, who she name-dropped like it's second nature, as if she's telling a story to a friend (she's so whipped for him, it's adorable), knows all about this comparison, and had a good laugh at it. He knows who I am. I was important enough to mention at home to her boyfriend, something I always wondered about but never dared to ask her. Tears.
No, really, actual tears. I've told you before, I don't support confessing love to your teachers while you're still their student (I'd wait a year after graduation if I were you), and especially if you're underage, and I myself wouldn't do it either. And I didn't. My confession was a little different. My voice breaking from tears, I told her the one thing I wanted her to know most. "This is not how I wanted to tell you, but I've never got more (in life) from anyone..." The answer? The old classic. "Come on."
"[Specs], you really need to get more self-confidence" she tells me, as that's about the only thing I still need to get me where I want to be. "I have to," I reply. And I do. I'm trying. Funny thing, self-confidence. It comes up in both the first and the last conversation we have as student and teacher.
We get up, stand at the top of the stairs. Soon it's time to go. The memories get a bit hazy here, but I'll try my best.
She tells me she expected me to react this way, and was afraid of it, seeing what happened in January. I immediately corrected her. In January, I cried because seeing my classmates hurting and my teachers clueless and lost hurt me, whereas this time, it's personal. She doesn't say anything. I think she understands. I ask her if she'll be happy in this new situation, and she says she hopes so. Only time will tell.
"I probably won't be available at a moment's notice all the time, but if you ever need me, you'll find me," she reassures me.
My English (language) teacher walks outside in that moment, and starts talking to V like I'm not even there. V and I are both a bit uncomfortable with the interruption, but the teacher seems pretty fine with it. Fucking hell, woman, insensitivity much?
Anyway. When she's gone is probably the moment we realise this is it. That this is where it's over.
She reaches out, both verbally and physically, and there we are, hugging again, both of us stroking the other's back in an effort to try and comfort the other. "You always have your friends," she tells me. "Get a good rest," she adds somewhere during that moment. Then we pull away.
I don't reach out, I don't dare to. As soon as I step out of her arms, it's her, who takes a hold of my hand. Not clinging, just a gentle, meaningful hold. I have no idea what she was saying, as I focused on the fact that we were only bloody holding hands in plain sight — and another thing.
V's eyes were red, and full of tears.
She hadn't shed a single tear for the past 20 minutes or so. Yet there she stands before me, physically still holding on to me, and crying. That was all me. And all of a sudden, I understand everything. I no longer have the guts to deny that she loved me all this time.
That's where it ends. No grandiose confessions, nothing loud, nothing overly passionate. Just a scene of two women standing hand-in-hand, showing their true colours and not holding anything back for the first time since they've met, before Miss V, the teacher, forever disappears behind a glass door.
These two women, mentioned above, are the ones who laid the foundation for two friends, two equals to meet anew. They are just getting to know each other all over again as we speak, setting the tone for something to start that could possibly last a long time. And I don't think there's anything that could feel better than that.
~ S ♡
[Every story I share here, no matter how specific I get with my wording, depicts actual events from my own life.]
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The Murder of Valentina Fonseca
For my very first post, I chose to cover the ongoing case of Valentina Fonseca’s death, a 9 year old Portuguese girl, that has been taking the attention of the country, and hopefully shed some light on it internationally.
Valentina Fonseca, pictured above, lived with her mother, Sonia Fonseca, in the town of Bombarral. Since March, when the Covid-19 quarantine started, her mother sent her to stay with her 32 year old father, Sandro Bernardo, her 38 year old step-mother, Marcia, and three other children: a 12 year old boy (Marcia’s son from a previous relationship), a 4 year old and a 7 month old, both the latter girls from the couple’s current relationship, in the town of Atouguia da Baleia. Both towns are around 21km apart (13 miles).
On May 7th 2020 at 8:30am, Valentina’s father contacted local police authority GNR (National Republican Guard) claiming his daughter went missing overnight. According to his first report, he saw her last during the previous night at around 1am when he went to tuck her in after sending her to sleep at around 11pm. He then claimed going to bed with his partner, waking up at 8am and realizing the girl was gone when he went to wake her up. As this happened, Marcia was going to local public places, namely a café, with a picture of the girl asking people if they had seen her.
The GNR immediately filed a missing person’s report, called the Judiciary Police to take over the investigation and started the searches for the girl. A neighbor living on the same street claimed to see a red pickup truck that she did not recognize as belonging to anyone in town stopped near the family’s house at around 1:30am, hinting at a possible kidnapping. Marcia claimed that she had forgotten to lock the front door, and Sandro claimed that Valentina was a sleepwalker (which was not confirmed by any doctor or family member). Therefore, both the father and some family members proposed the possibility of Valentina having ran away during the night, considering all this and that she had ran away once in the previous year: in 2019, when Valentina was 8 years old and staying at her father’s house for Easter break, she left home early in the morning, only to be found by a policeman wandering around a street by herself; after questioning her, she said she missed her mom and was going back home to see her. After this incident, CPCJ (Child Protection Services) opened an investigation to assess the possibility of negligence or any other type of maltreatment, only to close the case after a couple of months claiming no evidence of maltreatment existed within the family.
Some family members, however, did not believe that Valentina could have taken off during the night since the girl was very afraid of the dark.
The searches on that same day didn’t result in anything, so they continued them on the next day, the 8th of May, now not only with searching dogs, but also with the help of drones equipped with heat sensors. Several law enforcement agents and firemen participated in the search. Still, to no avail.
On the 9th of May, Saturday, several volunteers from all over the country joined the searches nonstop. In total, more than 600 people were looking for the missing girl in a 6km radius (around 4 miles). On that afternoon two pieces of child clothing were found: unidentified girl clothes found in the early afternoon, and a child’s jacket found in the evening. The police did not release the places where the clothing was found, therefore not releasing the distance between both findings. They showed the newly found items to Valentina’s parents, that didn’t recognize the items as belonging to the girl. Nevertheless, both findings were filed as evidence and attempts to connect them with the child were made.
During this whole process, the parents and stepmother never participated on the search. Sandro would stay at home, leaving only to visit the police station to ask if there was more information on the girl’s whereabouts.
On the morning of May 10th, Valentina’s body was found covered in bushes branches in an open field 6km (4 miles) away from the family’s house.
According to the press conference given on the same day, an accidental death was immediately discarded when they saw the body and it was strongly believed to be a murder case. At this point, no other information was given except that both Sandro and Marcia were in police custody.
Today, May 11th, it was released that the discovery of the body happened thanks to an interrogation that lasted the entire night from the 9th to the 10th, in which Sandro was pressured to confess, with the police having strong evidence that he and Marcia were the culprits. The Judiciary Police did not release to the public which evidence led to the arrest of both adults of the family, other than Marcia’s 12 year old son’s testimony of what happened in the house that past Wednesday.
During his confession, Sandro claimed to Valentina accidentally dying on Wednesday, the 6th, while he was bathing the girl. According to his version of the story, he was forcing Valentina to confess to being sexually abused due to hearing rumors about it, when she had a convulsion and died. He also claimed that Marcia, the step-mother, was not present in the bathroom at that time and did not participate in hiding the body.
However, the unnamed 12 year old boy told a different story. According to him, he saw both Sandro and Marcia walk inside the bathroom with Valentina, never to see her walk out again. When both adults came out by themselves, they told the boy to go to bed and that would be, according to what we know, the last thing he witnessed before the incidents on the 7th.
By 8pm on the 11th, the preliminary autopsy report was released, claiming that Valentina died under extreme violence and had clear signs of abuse in her body.
In the evening of May 11, what we know is that Valentina Fonseca was murdered in her own home, by the hands of her own father, her dead body placed in the back seat of the couple’s green Renault Scenic and dumped in a remote area. After four days of ceaseless searching, her body was found in such a condition that the possibility of accidental death was immediately discarded. We know that Sandro and Marcia were arrested under the charges of qualified murder, body concealment, amongst other yet unreleased crimes, and should be presented to a judge on the 12th. And in the light of what we know, we ask that justice be made. We ask that, in a country where the longest prison sentence is 25 years, that’s what they get.
I am aware that this isn’t a fascinating serial killer case, or a mysterious unsolved case. But this is the case of a sweet little girl whose life was cut short by those of her own blood. It deserves the same attention. It deserves the same justice. She deserves to be remembered.
There are, however, points in the story that need to be clarified. What exactly is the relation between the neighbor who, most likely, falsely claimed to have seen a red pickup truck near the house (considering there is factual evidence of the Valentina’s body being transported in the family car? Where does the mother stand in this story? Was she aware of abuse towards her daughter and still forced her to stay with her father? Were the clothes found during the search actual evidence or were they fake leads to distract the investigation? There are some of the questions that I hope to see answered in the near future.
If there’s anything you’d like to add or say, feel free to reblog with your comment!
As more information is released by the press, this post will be updated until the case is fully closed.
#solved#true crime#solved murder#murder case#homicide#valentina fonseca#portugal#criminology#forensic psychology
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70. “After everything we’ve been through, you still don’t think that I love you?” Moxiety?
Finally.
This prompt has been sitting in my inbox since March.
I’ve finally written enough of the story inspired by this prompt to begin posting. Introducing my new fic:
Slower Than Words
I’m looking at nine or ten chapters total. It’s a human au, and will have possibly triggering subjects, so be certain to check the content warning at the beginning of each chapter. I’m hoping to start posting on tuesday the 9th, but here’s a little sneak peek of the fic for now!
“Who's there?” he asked, his voice quivering. “I can't—I can't see. I can't see you.”
Even after they'd taken the bandages off his eyes, Virgil had been unable to see anything. The first week, his eyes had burned and itched. He'd restrained himself from scratching, but now he wasn't sure if it would have made a difference. He had lost his sight, and with it his whole world.
The hand didn't leave his shoulder, and Virgil reached out cautiously. His hands met something solid—a person? Yes, a person, and Virgil's hands clutched desperately at their shirt. He hadn't had safe human contact in so long. . . . The person seemed to understand that, and gently placed his arms around Virgil. Virgil let himself be wrapped in the hug, arms awkwardly against his chest. The person smelled like soap and dust and immediately warmed him. Virgil relished the fiery contact, pushing his head up into the person's shoulder and sighing. For the first time in weeks, he felt safe.
So yeah! Writing in quarantine has been really hard, but I’ve been working real hard on this and I’m pretty proud of it! Feel free to ask to be added to the taglist for the story, or my general taglist!
#sanders sides#thomas sanders#ts#ts sides#sanders sides fic#sanders sides fanfic#ask#slower than words
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Saturdayin’
Sexy time and then he made me bacon and eggs. (He’s on call today so may be feeling a little guilty about missing our long weekend.)
Started the laundry and have some more spring cleaning and housework to do. I’ve knocked so many things of my To Do list that have been hanging out there for over a year. The only good thing to come out of this Quarantine. Bright side: I don’t have to pay someone to clean my house now.
But this sunshine may just call me out to the yard instead...
Ooh, that’s right! I wanted to make a birdbath so the cat can watch from the window. She hasn’t been feeling well, a bird bath will cheer her up.
I think I need to buy a cake. I haven’t had sugar since March 9th
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HERE’S WHAT YOU MISSED THIS WEEK (3.11-3.17.20):
NEW MUSIC:
· 5 Seconds of Summer dropped a music video for their most recent single “Old Me” from their upcoming album C A L M. Directed by Hannah Lux Davis, the video displays the members traveling on a train, with snippets of both real and fake “old” footage of them.
· After Apple Music leaked the artwork for Palaye Royale’s previous singles, the band confirmed the artwork for their upcoming album The Bastards in their own post. They also revealed the album’s preorder date, and a new song and video titled “Lonely.”
· Machine Gun Kelly released a new track titled “Bullets with Names,” which features the talents of Young Thug, RJMrLA and Lil Duke. The rapper previously teased the track in the background of one of his Instagram posts.
· New Found Glory dropped a new track, “Nothing to Lose,” on March 16th, along with a lyrics video. At just a minute and 20 seconds long, the song will be featured on their upcoming album, Forever + Ever x Infinity.
TOUR ANNOUNCEMENTS:
· Billie Eilish kicked off the first leg of her world tour on March 9th in Miami, making a powerful statement regarding body positivity. She later went on to postpone the remaining dates of her North American tour.
· In a statement issued earlier this week, SXSW broke the sad news of their recent company layoffs. The festival’s founder Roland Swenson said there would be plans for a 2021 iteration of the festival.
· After petitions by the community to cancel and several rumors, Coachella has officially confirmed they will be postponing the event for six months. The annual event will now take place October 9th through 11th and 16th through 18th in Indio, California.
· Amid coronavirus concerns, My Chemical Romance was forced to postpone their appearance at Japan’s Download Festival and their Australia/New Zealand shows. The band is already working on rescheduling the dates.
· The Rock and Roll Hall of Fame announced a planned event will no longer proceed in light of coronavirus concerns. The Class of 2020 includes Depeche Mode, the Doobie Brothers, Whitney Houston, Nine Inch Nails, The Notorious B.I.G. and T. Rex.
· Rage Against the Machine joined the growing list of bands to cancel or postpone their upcoming tours due to coronavirus. Supported by Run the Jewels, the tour would’ve been the band’s first together since 2011.
· Record Store Day was pushed back to a later date in 2020 as they take similar actions to others in the industry over coronavirus. The event is moving from its original April 18th date to June 20th to avoid gathering large crowds.
· Despite coronavirus concerns, Post Malone went forward with playing a sold-out arena show in Denver on March 12th. Many fans and others alike expressed their discontent and concerns about the show going on.
· Among many artists, YUNGBLUD and Code Orange both announced livestreamed concerts for fans in light of coronavirus concerns. Previously, the former artist had to cancel shows in 10 countries and is now looking for a way to give something back to fans.
OTHER NEWS:
· In a recent Instagram post, My Chemical Romance guitarist Frank Iero is shown rocking out on a new Black 35 guitar, which are made in the band’s home state of New Jersey. The musician filmed himself playing the riff from “Thank You for the Venom.”
· After some of their early videos went missing on YouTube for several days, Fall Out Boy has re-uploaded all of the music videos from their album From Under the Cork Tree to the platform. Fans are still debating why the videos were removed in the first place.
· Iconic footwear brand Vans released its Autism Awareness Collection, which features sensory-inclusive elements such as a calm color palette. In addition to shoes, the line includes shirts in sizes ranging from toddler to adult.
· Rian Dawson of All Time Low was kidnapped by the infamous “Birthday” video panda in a new livestream. The panda went on to appear on screen with a ransom note telling the other members to release a new song titled “Getaway Green,” which they later debuted live.
· Crown the Empire guitarist Brandon Hoover revealed he tested positive for the coronavirus after months of touring around the world. He will remain self-quarantined over the next few weeks, despite feeling like he has overcome his symptoms.
___
Check in next Tuesday for more “Posi Talk with Sage Haley,” only at @sagehaleyofficial!
#sage haley#posi talk#5 seconds of summer#palaye royale#machine gun kelly#billie eilish#my chemical romance#rage against the machine#post malone#yungblud#fall out boy#all time low#code orange#new found glory#crown the empire
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