#quote from a fic I wrote like a year ago

[drinkinboilingcoffee]

“How does it feel, Mikey? For it to take control of you? All those thoughts, all that hunger spilling in? Does it make you feel like a monster? Like one of us?”

Pose reference: https://www.instagram.com/emiliodekure/reel/CxOr4-vP524/

#tumblr killed the quality #fnaf au #michael afton #michael afton au #fnaf art #Remnant hunger #i’ll elaborate later #quote from a fic I wrote like a year ago #tw blood #tw shirtless

[snickerdoodlles]

one of my most formative fandom experiences was a comment i had gotten on a fic i wrote for a halloween themed fandom event.

this was for a manga/anime, so the fic was a general ghost story obviously set in Japan. the beginning of it involved a pizza delivery and while writing it, i had spent like 30 minutes just double checking tipping customs and the types of pizza they serve and even fell down a wikipedia rabbit hole looking up the history of pizza in Japan.

now, i just like the research part of writing, i do stuff like this because i have fun doing it. and while i was writing this particular fic, i had laughed at myself for my 30 minutes of googling that amounted to 2.5 offhand lines in a 3500 word fic. i didn't think anyone would care about or even notice those particular details except for me, especially since none of them were relevant to the ghost part of this ghost story.

except, when i had sent this fic to a Japanese friend, the first thing she said to me about it was "OH MY GOD YOU GOT THE PIZZA RIGHT"

and that was the moment when it had really clicked for me. what had just been 30 minutes of effort on my part had become a moment of relief for her. my friend was far more used to reading ethnocentric fic that ranged from unintentional ignorance to outright superiority against part of her culture (the original story's culture no less). and even with the "innocent" ignorance (heavy quotes on that) far outstripping any outright maliciousness, that's still so many people saying her culture was not worth learning about. the pizza in my story was a small detail, but i had cared enough to put in some effort to check it. and for her, coming from a fic experience where her norm was bracing for hundreds of inaccuracies born of ignorance, especially at that time after a flood of stories centered around "Halloween as a cultural holiday in the US" premises instead of the "Halloween is a commercial gimmick in Japan" reality, seeing someone put in some effort even for minor story details meant something to her.

this also throws me back to the discourse that arose in a french show fandom a few years ago because there were a lot of fic authors that wrote 'dollars' instead of 'euros'-- but when people brought this up as a prevalent issue across the fandom but an easy one to fic/watch out for, many of these writers instead pushed back to complain that they were posting stories for free and it wasn't that big of a deal. which really upset a lot of people, but then this upset was met with a new wave of indignation that people needed to 'get over it' because they're writing fic ~just as a hobby~. but, even if 'dollars' instead of 'euros' wasn't a big deal, by digging in their heels about the issue, they were saying "your culture isn't worth even five minutes of my time or effort."

I've been thinking about these things lately because the ethnocentrism in Thai drama fandoms is...staggering. just over the turn of the year, there were waves of Christmas fic for Buddhist characters. and just. Christmas in Thailand is a tourist thing at best. sometimes a pop culture gimmick for international audiences or maybe an offhand high school thing to blow off steam between midterms. it's not a cultural thing. and even if a character is a part of the Christian minority, a Christian Thai's holiday customs and culture are going to be vastly different than a Christian's customs in the Americas or Europe. and while the Christmas fic is at least finished for now, I'm already bracing myself for the Easter fic wave that also seems to pop up for Thai dramas. it's so frustrating to see this sort of cultural overwrite all the time, especially since most Thai drama holiday works aren't about Thai holidays.

but the thing that really got me bristling about all of this again was i saw a post the other day where op said that they weren't going to write [thai drama] fic because they don't know much about thailand.

what an absolutely appalling statement to make.

google is right there. wikipedia is free. you don't even have to leave tumblr or AO3 to learn more because there are Thai natives in fandom who write essays to explain common elements of their culture. hell, even just watching these Thai stories and considering the values and messages imparted by the narrative framework and story lens tells you something about that culture. the audacity to look at a culture different from your own and say "this is not worth my effort or time to learn anything more about," are you kidding me?!?

the messages and values of a story tell you about the writer's values, which are going to carry their cultural values, beliefs, and biases. Thai culture is going to be heavily relevant to any Thai story, even the ones that aren't explicitly about Thai culture/customs/etc. (hell, Thai bl/gl as a genre alone-- just the fact that queer Thai writers are making these stories in Thailand's current political climate is highly political, even the "fluffy" ones that don't seem to make outright political statements.) to approach any story like it was made in a vacuum is to remove the writer(s)' culture and values and to overwrite them with your own.

especially because this is fandom. these are the lowest stakes to learn! it sucks to see people say things like "but i'm scared i'll get something wrong" and hold up that fear as a shield to justify their ignorance. no one's expecting anyone to get every detail right, especially not for a culture that isn't theirs, just make an effort to learn something new about it. pick out something that caught your eye as different to learn more about and see where it leads you.

and for the record--making a mistake trying to broaden your horizons is a far, far better thing to do than to superimpose your culture on everyone else's because you're scared to confront your ignorance.

edit: check out this reblog thanks

#fandom

[wistfulwatcher]

Wow, this is a follower milestone I absolutely never expected to reach! I am beyond flattered that so many of you have followed me over the years, and especially that so many of your have stuck with me through the many, many, many, fandom changes.

In celebration of this milestone, I am taking gif and drabble requests! Please send me one of the words below, and an additional prompt(s) appropriate to the category.

FOLLOW; tell me which fandom/character/ship/etc. you followed me for, and I'll make a gifset of it. INTRODUCE; tell me one thing I introduced you to, and I'll make a gifset of it. MISS; tell me a fandom/character/ship/etc. you wished I giffed or wrote more often, as well as a 1-2 word prompt, and I'll make a gifset or write a drabble. REMAKE; pick a specific gifset I've made and I'll remake it now that my skills have (hopefully) improved! REMIX; pick a specific post I've made (gif, graphic, fic, meta, etc.) and I'll remix it by changing POV, colors, style, etc. CONTINUE; pick a meme from my open projects list and I'll make another gifset in the series. TEXT; give me a lyric or quote and a fandom/character/ship and I'll make a gifset or write a drabble inspired by it.

It's also been far too long since I've done a follow forever, so I'd like to give a special thank you to the mutuals I can't imagine tumblr without:

Some of you have been with me for over ten years, which makes me stupidly emotional tbh! Since there's a mention limit I have to be extra choosey, but even if I don't tag you directly please know that I truly value each and every mutual's presence on my dash ❤️

THE BESTIES AND IRLS: @dykedolly, @laurabenanti, @cobalts-beau, @samcat18, @its-a-pack-thing-babe, @ladysarabii

BLOGS THAT HAVE MADE MY TUMBLR EXPERIENCE EXTRA SPECIAL OVER THE YEARS (IN ALPHABETICAL ORDER): @acheleismyobsession, @aflawedfashion, @agathasajax, @alinaandalion, @banrions, @chilly-flame, @chocolate-cream-soldier, @damelola, @darthsavior, @debbielouocean, @delilahmidnight, @evilswan, @fireracesundermyskin, @fitchersvogel, @imusthavebecomesomething, @iwouldlovetoeatyourtoast, @jewishsuperfam, @kutekoolkat, @lesbiangabriellle, @littlebamflamb, @lizbethborden, @lizmitches, @lluthor, @loveexpelrevolt, @lucyllawless, @mariskahargitay, @missgrantscheerleader, @phoenix-91, @reflectingiridescent, @shatterthelight, @shinyalice, @singinprincess, @sophiedevreaux, @strangesmallbard, @tessaservopoulos, @thesnowymeadows, @tunemyart, @warningsine, @whenfatecollides, @when-fates-collide, @whodoesnataliehave, @xxtorchxx

and an extra special shout-out to my longest mutual @redfield5x5 ❤️ I am just as thrilled to see you on my dash today as I was 10+ years ago!

#thank you guys so much!! #follower celebration #follower milestone #mine #edit #* #my computer hateddddd this gif but i finally got it exported!! #i know i'm not the best at requests but i PROMISE i will make everything requested as part of this celebration! #10k*

[bidisasterevankinard]

Fuck it friday

tagged by @tizniz @jesuisici33 @daffi-990 @diazsdimples @wikiangela thank you<333 I missed my crossover fic so I wrote a little today. he is Jake and Buck's dynamic I can't wait to explore more cause I already love it way to much

“Jake, I don’t know about it,” but before Buck can continue to think of the reason why he can’t come to San-Diego, Jake already speaks.

“Listen here, Buckley. We have tried to get together for the last four years after I was in LA for three days to congratulate you on ending your probation year. I literally now live in the city in 3 hours drive from LA. And you died six months ago before it happened,” Jake is silent for a second, but Buck hears how he takes deep breath to take himself back together. Hearing how his death affected even his friends out of LA make him bite his lip so as not to cry. Painful reminder he should keep trying harder on therapy, should try to get better to help his family heal too. “So I’m not asking. You are bringing your pretty ass to San-Diego. I might even help to heal your heart after the recent break up with what is her name?” 

“Natalia. And there’s nothing to heal,” Buck for a second considers if he should tell Jake the whole truth about the break up or not, but really he needs a friend and there is no one better to talk about Eddie because Jake is Buck’s only friend. Not Eddie’s found family too. “I broke up with her because I understood I’m in love with…” Buck takes a deep breath getting ready to say it for the first time to someone who is not Dr. Copeland, but Jake does it first.

“Eddie.” 

The way the name of his best friend so easily slips from Jake’s mouth leaves Buck speechless with just one question which he almost scream.

“H-HOW?!”

“You talk about the guy all the time. You raise his, no, not his, his and yours  son together. You talk about him like he put the sun, moon and stars in the sky. It was so easy,”Buck hears how Jake rolls his beautiful green eyes and he hopes the man feels how he shows him finger. “Do not show me finger, sweetheart. You know I’m right. I’m more shocked no one called you on this definitely not little crush on your hot bestie before me. And they see you two together.” 

“Like no one calls you on your homoerotic comments about Rooster? Or how now do you want dick measure with the man not in figurative but real meaning?” Buck smirks when he hears how Jake tries to say something to deny it, but fails.

“How?”

Grinning, Buck takes a deep breath and perfectly repeating Jack's intonation begins to quote.

“Oh, Buck, Rooster is so cocky I hate his guts. Oh, Buck, this man irritates me so much I want to send him on fire. Buck, I saved this asshole today and we shook hands and I think we are going to be friends soon. Sweetheart, you will not believe who asked me about beer in Hard Deck without the team. Fuck, Buck Rooster abs somehow better than mine and it’s… irritates me so much,” Buck laughs remembering how the last part was said more like I-want-to-fuck-him and not this-guy-is-hotter-than-me-and-I'm-jealous. Buck knows the difference too well. He was friends with it for a moment. “I always feel like you would jump his bones the next time you see the man.”

“Said you”

“Touche.”

tagging @wildlife4life @watchyourbuck @exhuastedpigeon @eddiescowboy @elvensorceress @eddiebabygirldiaz @evanbegins @rainbow-nerdss @rogerzsteven @the-likesofus @thewolvesof1998 @theotherbuckley @transboybuckley @underwater-ninja-13 @puppyboybuckley @paranoidbean @anakinfallen @spaceprincessem @spotsandsocks @spagheddiediaz @devirnis @fortheloveofbuddie @gaydiaz @giddyupbuck @heartshapedvows @hoodie-buck @jeeyuns @loserdiaz @ladydorian05 @caroandcats @cowboybuckleys @bigfootsmom @bekkachaos @buddierights @mandzuking17 @monsterrae1 @malewifediaz @steadfastsaturnsrings @hippolotamus and anyone who wants

#I was so sad and lazy all day but finally made myself write #I hope it's good #hangster and buddie crossover wip #my wips #buddie #evan buckley #eddie diaz #evan buck buckley #911 #911 abc

[christinesficrecs]

Hi Christine, I know this is a long shot but long story short - lost my saves file a while ago and cannot find many of most favourite fics, I have countless quotes saved from them. I am sharing some with you in hopes people recognise the fics they're from if you post this. I will love you forever.

Derek’s first kiss in four years tastes like fresh-squeezed orange juice and makes his stomach flip like the drop in a rollercoaster. Stiles holds him close like he’s thanking him.

About the summer he spent in Ireland because there were pictures of his mom posed in various tourist sites at Dublin and Dingle and the Giant’s Causeway--places that he wanted to experience personally since he never got to ask her first-hand.

Derek looked at him for a moment, and wow, okay, this was why people wrote songs about love and painted pictures and wrote poetry, because he was pretty sure that he was falling in love with Derek Hale if only because of the guy's beautiful eyes and earnest expressions and his everything. God.

In some ways Stiles has done a lot of growing up since then, but a part of him thinks he’ll always be that scrawny, ridiculous kid at heart, whose greatest joys in life were Froot Loops, cheesy disco tunes, and masturbation.

Stiles gets back from his year abroad in Hungary with more muscles and the first of his tattoos, a knotted rope that runs the length of his spine.

Hey, Derek, can you do me a solid? Nothing serious, just, you know, screw my brains out, that’s all.

He meets Stiles’ gaze from where he's leaning against the back wall, his eyes catching glints of light amid the shadows. Certain people are just meant to live under the open sky.

Whatever he says afterwards, whatever happens between them, there will always be this, the long late afternoon with the sun skidding red in the west, and he will always know what Stiles looked like the first time someone filled him up to the hilt. There are no acrobatics. Nothing fancy happens. Derek feels like the ocean breaking helplessly on the shore, the tide rising, spilling him over.

there’s something about the shape of him, the way he’s huge and solid and beautiful and always thirty seconds away from admitting total defeat that rubs Stiles raw and tender.

“People are so exhausting,” he murmurs, and Stiles is glad to know it: that he isn’t people, that he counts as a kind of between places, maybe even as home.

.

#asks #sterek fics #ficrecs #dumpaesthetic #lost fic

[softguarnere]

It Will Have Been Worth It

David Webster x reader

Soulmate!au in which the first words you ever hear your soulmate say appear on your skin when you turn thirteen

A/N: Out of everything I've ever written for this fandom, this fic has been one that has given me the most trouble. According to my notes, I started it on October 31st of last year 😬 None of my ideas for it felt right when I had them on paper, and I eventually just left it sitting in my drafts. Randomly got inspiration for it a few days ago, and now it's done! Better late than never, I guess A very special thank you to @brassknucklespeirs (welcome back babe, I missed you!!!!) and @liebgotts-lovergirl who both chatted with me about this fic last fall when I started it, and who both helped me with ideas all those months ago 💕 As usual, this is written for the fictional depictions from the tv show - no disrespect to the real life veterans! Warnings: alcohol, mentions of war, the author using every impressive high school vocab word she could possibly remember

Just because David has a large vocabulary doesn't mean that he's in total command of it at all times. Throwing around words that make other people furrow their brows as they try to ascertain what he means brings him some sense of satisfaction, but he also has a habit of flashing his arsenal of expressions when he's particularly nervous, hoping to throw off whoever has made him feel as if he's lost his footing. And when he's had a few drinks? Forget about it – all the words he once had at his disposal are suddenly either strung together to form nonsensical sentences or are nowhere to be found.

Is he pretentious? Perhaps, although he would argue that there's much more to the story. An elementary school teacher taking a liking to a poem he wrote when he was eight and exclaiming, "David, I think that you could be a great writer some day!" may have started him down that path, but he ultimately blames the words that appeared on his skin when he was thirteen.

He used to love looking at his parents’ soulmate tattoos. "What a lovely name" on his mother's wrist and "A rose by any other name would smell as sweet" on his father's. It always seemed so romantic to him, the thought that those had been the first words that his parents ever heard each other say, and that they got to flaunt those beautiful lines that they had given each other.

"If it takes fighting a war for us to meet, it will have been worth it" appeared on the inside of his forearm on his thirteenth birthday. A beautiful line, really.

It's haunted him ever since. 

"Make sure that you give your soulmate a tattoo that's just as pretty." His father had winked at him and slid him a piece of birthday cake – strawberry with vanilla buttercream frosting, he still remembers – unaware of the panic he had just set off in David's chest. Because that was the first time he had realized that, yes, he was responsible for giving his soulmate a poetic tattoo. His own is a beautiful turn of phrase. Whoever his soulmate is, they deserve a line that looks just as pretty on their own skin. It’s a duty that he comes to take very seriously.

Every person he meets, Webster makes sure to compose an amiable greeting for them, just in case. He’ll quote Shakespeare if he finds they’re particularly attractive, invoking his parents’ first meeting, since you never know. So what if some people push hard sighs through their nose whenever he opens his mouth to speak? He’s a student of literature; producing striking sentences is half of his job.

And, he reminds himself, one day he’ll find his soulmate, and he won’t have to worry about creating turns of phrase that are unequaled and unforgettable – except for his novels, of course. But whatever words he provides for his soulmate’s mark, he’s determined to make them as dazzling as the bright light thrown from a suncatcher on the clearest summer day.

. . .

It’s at seventeen that he learns that not everyone finds their soulmate. The library is quiet, save for the sounds coming from the diligent scratching of pencils, the turning of pages, and the soft breathing of focused students. He turns a page in his own book and is confronted with the staggering statistic that only twenty percent of people are recorded to find theirs.

“That’s less than one fourth of the population!” He exclaims to himself without meaning to, disrupting the tranquility of the study space and garnering several peeved looks for his outburst. A seemingly unnecessary one to everyone else, but justified in his own mind.

Twenty percent! He’s still aghast as he gathers his own books and escorts himself from the library. The cool breeze blowing through the late afternoon can’t even distract him from the train of thought that has now run off the rails, chugging along through his mind with no sign of stopping.

Because now, come to think of it, people get married all the time, soulmate tattoos or not. And there’s no law or anything stating that you have to marry your soulmate once you meet them; they’re simply the person who would be the best suited for you. You could go about your lives as nothing more than just friends – or worse, nothing at all, even if you did find each other.

To say that the conclusions reached that afternoon astound him would be an understatement of epic proportions. He’s never quite the same after that. But it doesn’t stop his extraordinary expressions.

. . .

War breaks out. He leaves college for the experience. He volunteers for the paratroopers because, even though they’re new, they’re the best. If he wants to write about war – or write anything good, really – he’ll have to get his hands dirty with experience so that the sentences that stain his pages can be clean, clear, concise, and indelible to his readers. Honestly, it’s not until he hears one of the other men in his company point out that the new migrations and travel opportunities given to them by the conflict may well improve their chances of finding their soulmates that he realizes that statistic he once read will soon be incorrect.

For a brief and terrifying moment, Webster – as he is now called amongst his fellow soldiers – thinks that maybe Joe Liebgott is his soulmate, and that he’s responsible for giving him a really awful line. Webster had made an offhanded comment about the quality of the eggs one morning at breakfast, and the Californian had given him such a perplexed look that Webster’s panic led him to believe that the cab driver must have “What do they season their eggs with around here? Sawdust?” somewhere on his person, and that the reason he remained so quiet around him was due to not wanting Webster to hear him speak so that they would never know if they were actually soulmates. Luckily those fears had been laid to rest when Webster caught a glimpse of the words “Cabbie, if you drive any faster, I think the car will start flying” on his leg during a run up Currahee. It turned out that he simply didn’t agree with Webster’s observations on the quality of the eggs. Still, Webster remembers to be more careful with his words.

When he can be, actually. Which is not when he’s been drinking.

The British pub is loud with the sounds of servicemen singing and laughing well into the night. The general consensus that they’re finally going to be thrust into combat soon has filled many men with a renewed zest for life, and from the sounds and sights all around, people are relishing the nights like these while they can. And who can blame them?

“What did they even teach you at Harvard?” Hoobler wants to know as Webster downs a shot. “I mean, as a literature major, and all.”

“Is it just reading?” Skinny Sisk questions. “’Cause if so, then anyone with a library card can probably get a degree.”

Webster purses his lips, his glass returning to the table with a harsh slam that announces the displeasure that he’s trying to keep out of his voice. “Ha ha ha. Very funny.”

“I was being serious,” Hoobler clarifies. “You know, just out of curiosity, and all.”

“How do you even use a literature degree?” The conversation has caught the attention of Joe Toye and George Luz at the next table, and they turn to join Webster, Hoobler, and Sisk, suddenly very interested in the academic intricacies of studying literature.

“Well, I’m studying literature because I want to be a writer,” Webster admits.

“And write about what?”

Webster makes a vague gesture, trying to encapsulate their environment, the lives they’ve lived since enlisting, the world itself – everything. “War,” he says instead, an understatement.

“Hey!” Luz says brightly. “You could review books. There’s an idea.”

Toye cocks an eyebrow. “Is there money in that?”

“You could review Hitler’s book,” Luz continues. “Really tear it apart on it’s word choices, and all that.”

“Hitler can read? Who knew!” Skinny asks, making everyone laugh.

“What do you think he even would read? In all his spare time, I mean, when he’s not invading countries and forcing men like us out of our homes to come and stop him.”

All eyes immediately turn to Webster, expectantly awaiting an answer. The literature student freezes with a bottle of beer halfway to his lips.

“What?” He asks.

“It was a question, Professor,” Toye says. “You gonna answer it?”

“You were serious?”

“I asked, didn’t I?”

Despite himself, Webster can feel his eyebrows shoot up, betraying his surprise. “How would I know?”

“Well, in your expert opinion,” Luz suggests.

Skinny nudges Hoobler. “He just doesn’t want to admit that he doesn’t know.”

Heat rushes to Webster’s face, and it’s not entirely from the warm glow of the alcohol. If it weren’t for the dim lighting of the pub, the tips of his ears would probably be glowing a bright pink with his ignominy.

“They didn’t teach me that at Harvard,” he says.

Hoobler smirks. “Uh huh. Sure.”

“Awe, come on!” Webster exclaims. “I’m just trying to fight a war. I am not prepared to make speculations about Hitler’s literary preferences!”

“Excuse me,” a new, much sweeter voice cuts in. At once, all the men’s defenses are down as they turn to see two prepossessing women standing at the edge of their group. They look familiar, somehow, and if it weren’t for the dim lighting and the alcohol, Webster would swear that he’s seen them in passing before. “Hi, I’m Evelyn, and this is my friend (Y/N).”

The second woman, seemingly a little shyer, offers them a small wave and a smile as her friend takes the lead. Perhaps it’s the darkness playing tricks on Webster’s eyes, but he could swear that she’s looking at him, and that she suddenly looks a little fidgety as the introduction goes on.

“We’re with the Red Cross,” Evelyn continues, her words providing explanation as to her familiarity. Then, implausibly, she fixes her gaze directly on Webster. “(Y/N) here has been watching you for a while, so I decided it was high time that we came over and introduced ourselves.” She leaves the obvious unspoken – because war is an uncertain thing and it’s better to die with no regrets than to always wonder what could have been.

Me?! The other paratrooper’s eyes flick between (Y/N) and Webster as he stands, his friends struck with the same sense of wonder. With Skinny or Tab, this sort of scene is not infrequent, but nothing of the sort has happened to Webster – if he’s being completely honest, not even in college.

He clears his throat. So focused on willing his hands not to feel sweaty through sheer force of will, Webster extends his for a shake, not even bothering to watch his words.

“Hello. I’m David Webster,” he says, noticing how soft your hand is in his. “It’s nice to meet you.”

You beam at him. “If it takes fighting a war for us to meet, it will have been worth it.”

He freezes. Behind him, he can feel his friends tense up as well. “Oh my God,” he whispers, for it’s all he can do. The words that he’s been waiting his entire life to hear have just come out of your mouth – and he’s just recited what must be the blandest line in the history of soulmate tattoos!

Webster rolls up his shirt sleeve and reveals his tattoo, the beautiful line staring up at him in confirmation. Air vacates his lungs, leaving him breathless as his heart pounds in his chest.

You begin to roll up your own sleeve, and Webster winces at the anticipation of seeing his introduction on your arm. But when the ink on your arm is exposed, you glance up at him, something like a smirk playing at your lips.

“Oh my God,” Webster says again, wanting to kick himself, and for a completely different reason this time.

“It was the first thing that I ever heard you say,” you tell him.

Evelyn gasps, then slaps a hand over her mouth, though it does no good to contain the giggles that still pour out. The other Easy Company men crowd around, trying to catch a glimpse of your arm.

There in the pub, in front of everyone, the first words that you, Webster’s soulmate, ever heard come out of his mouth stain your arm, making several people laugh: I’m just trying to fight a war. I am not prepared to make speculations about Hitler’s literary preferences!

At least now he doesn’t have to waste the rest of his life being so cautious with his words.

#david webster #david webster x reader #band of brothers #band of brothers imagine #band of brothers fanfic #band of brothers x reader #soulmate au #my writing

[tackytigerfic]

hi! do you like comments on fanfic? I'd like to leave ones but I don't want to be annoying

Hello Anon, thanks so much for the ask.

Personally, I do love getting comments on my fics. I had one on a really old one of mine recently and it was such a treat to think of someone looking back over things I wrote many years ago and still reading them.

I'm a member of lots of fandom discords and writer spaces and I don't think i've ever heard any author say that they find comments annoying - in fact, it's quite the opposite! for most of us, comments are like gold and we treasure them.

I have fallen hideously behind on my replies to comments on my fics (i mean, i am years behind) and it's one of the things i miss the most about my early days in fandom. getting to chat to people who have read??? my writing??? and liked it??? amazing!!! But I usually write a note at the end of my fics to say that even though i may not be able to reply straight away, i read and appreciate every comment hugely. and it's true. from the long comment with quotes from the fic and personal anecdotes, to the comment with the single heart emoji, I feel genuine gratitude towards the commenter.

I myself often worry about leaving comments (silly intrusive worries like: does the author want to hear my stupid thoughts? what should i say to let them know how much i loved this? am i being weird about their fic? etc etc just bad brain stuff) and usually i try to focus on the fact that i'm just thanking them for a gift, and they are more than likely going to be really happy to know that i liked it at all. and a positive comment of any kind can convey that and make an author's day.

All that being said!!! I would never expect a comment from any reader. I love them when i get them but I don't expect them, and I definitely wouldn't want someone worrying about what to say, or to be stressed over leaving a comment. I want my fics to be enjoyed in whatever way makes the reader feel most at ease.

#asked and answered #rowing and chatting #thank you anon #i feel you btw #i used to comment on every single fic i read #and then i went through a massive commenting block #and got all worked up about leaving comments #and instead i just stopped reading??? #which was Not It #pls don't worry abt being annoying anon #my heart goes out to you for feeling like that #but truly every author i know appreciates nice comments!

[olderthannetfic]

Two days ago one reader wrote to me that they found that their younger sister (14 yo, about ten years between them) smoking and that they wanted to scream at her for her stupidity and tell parents after that, but "I remembered that one of your fics where that one teen had a tatoo and their parent figure was extremely upset and they almost lost their relationship but after that they talked this out so I made a deep breath and talked with her word for word from that dialogue and it worked, she told me why she's doing it and actually now thinks that I'm only adult figure in fer life she can trust because others would be, quote, gone mad" and like. It's sad that their first instinct was to yell but also my fic saved one sibling relationship somewhere. I'm still thinking about it

--

[earlgreytea68]

A Note on Olivia's Speech -- Kinda

OMG this is so much babbling but I wrote it all down in case it might be interesting to anyone else who feels vast amounts of guilt over writing about guys all the time??????

When I was a younger writer, I used to write a lot of het. That's what I wrote all through my teenage years and into my early twenties, just tons of traditional male/female romance novels, which honestly was mostly what I read through those years, too (aside from the classics that I was forced to read for my degree in English, which was exactly why I majored in English lol). Even when I started writing fanfiction, which wasn't until my mid-twenties, I wrote het.

But then at one point I started writing m/m love stories, and I never stopped. And I worry a lot about that, like, is this betraying internalized misogyny on my part? Why am I writing about men (and often white men), who get so many of the stories anyway? I should write more about my actual gender identity, which is cisgender woman. But every time I did, it felt so weird and stilted to me. And my motto is that unless I'm writing for money I write makes me happy, so I kept writing m/m fic.

Once, years ago, I went to a presentation at an academic conference where they discussed the phenomenon of cisgender women writing m/m fic. I know this often gets characterized as just some kind of sexual kink, and I just don't think that's what's going on with me, and that presentation noted that cisgender men are the default, so to speak, in our society. And so characters with a cisgender male gender identity are allowed to be blank slates that can be absolutely anything you want. Whereas as soon as you make a character a cisgender female, suddenly there are all these societal pressures on that character. And that did resonate with me, that try as I might I couldn't just change the pronouns of the cisgender men I was writing and ta-da! They were cisgender women! Because there's just so much other baggage that comes with being a cisgender woman that they were freed from if they were cisgender men -- even if I resented that that was the case!

But I've been doing a lot of reading this past year, and not of romance novels, of quote-unquote "serious" novels (an adjective I strenuously do not agree with, as a writer of romance lol). I read Elif Batuman's books (both hilarious but both kind of fell apart about halfway through), I read Checkout 19 (which I pretty much hated), I read Tomorrow, and Tomorrow, and Tomorrow (weird book), I read The Farewell Tour (which surprised me and I liked much more than I'd thought I would). Every one of these books had a cisgender female protagonist (or co-protagonist), and every one of these books had a major plot point where that protagonist has a terrible, unhealthy relationship with an obnoxious cisgender guy. Every. Single. Book. And sometimes it was more than one unhealthy relationship, and sometimes it was more than one female character within the book. Like, you're going along reading about these delightful and interesting adventures these fabulous women are having, then -- bam! they run up against some guy not nearly as interesting as they are and not deserving of their time and then they waste a bunch of their life (and the book) all hung up on him. And I was just like: It's the year 2023, and this is STILL what the female narrative looks like? This???? We can't tell other stories about women that don't revolve around what men do to them???

It's not that these books aren't critiquing that part of society (which I understand is still omnipresent all around us). All of the books are very conscious that the relationships are unhealthy and diminishing the woman (except maaaaybe the relationship in T&T&T, but that book also is really mean to its arguably asexual MC and basically implies that he'll never be of importance in his BFF's life because he doesn't want to have sex with her, so the book had other issues, tbh). Not a single one of those books actually, you know, has any apparent repercussions for the guy in question, who just seems to go on and live their life pretty carefree and the woman whose life they stomped all over is barely a second thought, to us the outside observer. And I'm sure that's also very true to how society works. But, all the same, it was striking to me that, even if critical, THIS WAS STILL EVERY WOMAN'S NARRATIVE. EVERY WOMAN'S NARRATIVE WAS ABOUT SELLING HERSELF SHORT FOR SOME GUY. Can we not imagine better for ourselves????

And so, Idk, I do try to put people of other genders in my m/m fics but when it comes to a character like Olivia, and thinking of what her happy ending looked like, I just could not make myself put her with a guy. And you might say: she could have gone with a woman! And yes! She could have! But I think I am craving female narratives that aren't about romantic and sexual love. Because every narrative I read about a woman is alllll about romantic and sexual love. The woman belittles herself to squeeze herself into the box of romantic and sexual love, cutting off all of the interesting parts of herself because she's been told THAT is the end-all-be-all. But I am a believer in all kinds of love, and how all of those kinds of love can give you a good and well-rounded life, and it's silly to pretend that there's only one type of love and that we should pursue it at all costs to our selves.

And then I think, well, gee, that's hypocritical of me, given that ALL I DO IS WRITE STORIES ABOUT ROMANTIC AND SEXUAL LOVE. But then it occurred to me that in writing them about two cisgender men, it does feel more like a narrative that needs to be told. Men get so many stories...but they don't often get THESE stories. They don't often get the love story. They don't often pursue their romantic love as if it will fulfill their destiny...because society tells men that their destiny has other shapes and sizes beyond who they sleep with. Maybe, I think, the world needs more narratives about guys who just love, unabashedly and deeply and fulfillingly, and THAT'S the narrative. That's the whole story. Just that. The way it so often is for women.

When I think about Olivia, and even as I sit and struggle my way with Megan in the Regency AU sequel, it's like...I want more for them than that. Like, for so long I grew up with exactly the expectation that Olivia talks about, that I needed to find a husband and that was the most important thing about me. And I watch the younger women I know still get that message. I've got a great career, went to good schools, do interesting stuff, and still a shocking number of people want to know why I'm single. What about everything else I can be????? I have great friends and a great family and I honestly like my life. Who can ask for more than that? Like, isn't the most amazing thing that could happen to Megan, especially in the Regency era, is just that she lives the life she wants??? And maybe that means she gets married and maybe it doesn't but it's cool either way and she has the freedom to choose it!

I don't mean to imply that I don't have internalized misogyny, because who knows lol. I also don't mean to imply that women shouldn't get married!!!! I have many cisgender female friends in very happy and healthy heterosexual relationships!!! It's awesome for them and it works for them and it's cool and I love them and the lives they have built for themselves. Lives come in all shapes and sizes, and that's great. But I finished yet another book with yet another female protagonist in yet another unhealthy relationship for the fifth time this year or whatever and I was just like, No wonder I gave Olivia that speech. No wonder I'm looking for another narrative.

#long post #honestly who knows what this is #it feels a mess

[skepsiss]

It's Snowing in Hawkins; Winter Exchange - Batboys

Here is my fic for the BatBoys Winter Exchange! @batboysxprompts I hope whoever submitted this request is pleased with what I wrote. I was a little liberal with the suggestion, but I think I followed along with Eddie's competitive streak like they wanted. I hope you enjoy!

Synopsis: This is all fluff. Steve goes over to visit Eddie during a heavy snow in Hawkins and gets roped into helping him build a snow fort. Both of them have been inching toward a romance for months now, and Steve adores how innocent and young their relationship feels. It’s the start of something real tonight, and it makes Steve feel brilliantly happy. 

Season: Winter

Quote: The kids at the trailer park are having a snowman competition. Eddie joins in to one up them

Song: My Chemical Romance - "Every Snowflake is Different (just like you)"

AU/Place: Trailer park

Rating: T Words: 3,609 CW: Aggressive/degrading language toward the poor, slightly mature language/themes, mention of skin grafts/scaring, mention of mobility challenges from injuries

It’s snowing in Hawkins, and the fat, fluffy flakes caught on the windowpanes and the aspens of Mirkwood. Four children roam the deep fields of Forest Hills Trailer Park, gathering snow and shrieking their laughter skyward. The end of winter break is but a week away and time must be utilized well or be lost. A fifth joins them and the festivities begin. 

–

It’s late afternoon and the sun is already starting its slow descent over the little town of Hawkins. It gets dark, fast, in the wintertime in Indiana, and the chill becomes biting as the wind rolls off the Appalachian mountains. 

Steve had gotten used to this kind of cold; he had grown up in it after all, and despite the foot of snow he had still decided to trudge his way toward the trailer park. It wasn’t smart to drive in this kind of weather, and really, Steve lived fairly close to the park if he wasn’t being lazy. His proximity to ‘Mirkwood’ had been a black stain on his mind ever since Barb’s death–before that as well. His father had always hated the fact that their property backed up onto public land and just anyone could walk into their yard. That had been a point of contention in the Harrington household, even though Steve quietly noted that his father never went ahead and put up a fence. Likely, it had just been something for his father to complain about, and his intentions to erect a barrier between himself and ‘those varmints in their mobile homes’ had been all for show in the end.  

It was convenient for Steve now, though, since he could walk out his back door and to Eddie’s house in ten minutes flat—a bit more with all this snow.

Steve had never lived this close to a friend before, and it made impromptu visits that much easier. It also spoke to what lengths Steve was willing to go despite only being ‘friends’ with Eddie. 

They had started hanging out nearly a year ago now—just three more months, and it would be spring break again, even if Steve quietly dreaded the second coming of the holiday. Nothing had happened since March of ‘86 though, and Steve was finally starting to believe that the ‘other shoe’ wasn’t going to drop after all. He had been proven wrong before, though, if Halloween of ‘84 said anything about the pattern of these supernatural pains in the neck. 

He was optimistic though… if only because he was willing it.

After the trauma of spring break, it had been difficult (like it always was) to fall back into routines. He had watched Eddie struggle the most with that and while his injuries had been nothing to sniff at, once he was stitched up and given some blood so he wasn’t going to die from blood loss he was… fine. The wounds had scarred, of course, and Eddie had more scars than wounds because they had needed a skin graft for the larger bites. It was sort of difficult to stitch someone back together when their skin was minced like that—or at least that was what Dustin had crudely explained. 

Robin had asked him last week when he was going to stop flirting and actually do something about it. 

Eddie had struggled, and Steve had found it was easier to talk to Eddie than it had been to speak to most of the others, with all this Upside Down crap.

Robin was fantastic—he adored Robin, and he talked to her more than anyone, but he never felt like he was quite on her level when it came to compartmentalizing all the trauma. The kids were the same way; they were all so smart, and they could puzzle away or focus on their nerd hobbies to distract themselves from the abuse. Steve on the other hand… Steve’s hobbies allowed for far too much space to think, so it was hard to escape the memories.

Eddie, similarly, seemed unable to just quietly shut up and focus on something. It came at him like waves, and Steve had noticed that he had been distracting himself almost as much as Steve needed. Maybe he was lying to himself about that, though. Maybe he was just making up excuses to be around Eddie because he had found—after everything was said and done—that he really enjoyed spending time with the Freak. 

Steve hadn’t been such a dunce not to realize that he had feelings for Eddie, but his feelings felt so juvenile compared to how he usually reacted around women. It felt innocent and ephemeral in a way that reminded him of being thirteen. It was all small touches and little smiles, and Eddie seemed to fall into step with that behaviour easily. Eddie was older than him… but in a lot of ways he seemed less mature. That, in turn, made Steve want to slow everything down, too. 

He’d bob and Eddie would weave, and they’d sit and watch movies together without saying a word about the fact that Eddie’s feet were propped in Steve’s lap. Or they’d go for a swim and all they would do was smile when they touched hands on the pool edge.

It was just so goddamn innocent… and Steve found himself liking the slow roll of whatever this was. He wasn’t exactly convinced that Eddie liked him back that way—Eddie was a physical guy with everyone, but he didn’t seem to pause and consider his contact with everyone like he did with Steve.

Or so Steve liked to think.

Steve rounded on the trailer park and shivered slightly as he brought his shoulders up to his ears. The forest was less densely packed with snow than the open field of the trailer park, and he struggled a bit until he made it to a worn footpath through the snow. He started getting a view of the open expanse beyond the mobile homes, and he stuffed his hands into his pockets as he walked.

Steve heard the laughter before he saw them, but as he made his way toward Eddie’s trailer, he could see some of the kids traipsing through the snow and rolling snowballs. He paused and watched them—Max, Lucas, Mike, and Eleven—and smiled a bit at how carefree they looked.

Max of course was struggling to move through the snow, but she was making the best of it and was commanding Lucas to do the heavy lifting while she took frequent breaks. Comparatively, Mike was taking it slow and stopping to explain exactly how to pack and roll the snow properly to Eleven, instructing her on snowman building.

“You’re doing it all wrong, Wheeler!”

Steve paused as he walked up the first step of the Munson’s trailer, and then hesitated as he caught snippets of conversation.

“It’s not dry enough snow for that, you’ve got to squeeze with the body!”

Steve could recognize that diction anywhere, and he stepped to the side of the trailer to see Eddie pointing at Mike and Lucas. They all seemed to be having fun, but there was definitely an air of combativeness to the scene.

“What’re you guys up to?” Steve asked, feeling like a dad talking like that to all of them.

They all turned, and Steve couldn’t help but smile at the way Eddie beamed at him. 

“Good, good,” Eddie was saying before he said hello as he walked over to Steve.

Steve half waved as Lucas raised a hand to him, only for Max to scold him for losing momentum and letting the snowball he was rolling crack.

“You can help me out,” Eddie declared as he grabbed Steve by his forearm and started pulling him into the field.

“We’re building snowmen,” Eleven said happily, smiling at Steve as she helped Mike lift one of the large balls to place on top of another.

“Or at least we are,” Mike added as he looked toward the pile that Steve was currently being pulled toward.

“Shut your pie-hole, Wheeler. This’ll be a feat of engineering,” Eddie hissed, letting go of Steve and then handing him an empty bucket.

“Yeah, sure,” Max condescended, turning to focus on her own snowman.

Steve stood there a bit dumbfounded as Eddie picked up a small trowel and handed that over as well.

Eddie was doing that thing where he was so focused he forgot that not everyone thought the same way as him. Usually, Steve found it endearing—and he did right now as well—but he was equally confused and Eddie seemed to want him to be doing something.

“Uh…” Steve said quietly, looking at the bucket and the shovel he was now holding. “What am I doing with these?”

Eddie only took a moment to pause and look at him before continuing his work.

“I’m making a snow-dome, Steve,” Eddie said distractedly, “I need snow.”

“Igloo,” Lucas corrected as he rolled a large snowball past them.

“It’s not an igloo!” Eddie declared. “First of all, it’s not ice, and second of all, it isn’t fucking square-ass blocks. Snow-dome, you twat. Steve! I need snow.”

Steve flinched slightly, not really expecting to be put to work so quickly upon arrival. He moved, though, choosing a relatively large patch of snow to start digging.

“No—” Eddie chastised, trudging over to him and pointing farther west. “Grab the snow from out there. And I need you to pack it in, man. Like, really pack it. I’ll assemble, you can… dig or whatever.”

Steve sighed but did as he was told, he walked farther into the field and started to scoop and shovel the snow into the bucket before bringing it back over to Eddie.

“So… why are we doing this?” Steve asked as he was handed an empty bucket and shooed away.

“Said I couldn’t…” Eddie muttered, concentrating again as he plunked down the full bucket of snow and began making the base of his ‘snow-dome.’

“Before…” Eddie muttered, focusing. “It’s a contest, man.”

He wasn’t explaining much, and Steve didn’t press the subject as he diligently scooped up snow and brought it back to Eddie until he was sweating from the effort. Eventually, he was told to stop and was sent toward the woods to gather ‘tinder’ for Eddie’s elaborate plan to thatch his snow-dome so it was more structurally sound. 

Really, Steve didn’t get it or understand Eddie’s vision, but he didn’t protest. It was a touch annoying to be trudging around in the snow though when he had expected to walk over here and share cocoa and maybe curl up on the couch with Eddie. He had been much more snugly with the cold weather and had started commenting freely on how warm Steve was. It was true, but it also felt like an excuse so they could press up against each other ‘innocently.’

“You’re not even close to being done,” Max said as she pressed two rocks into the head of her snowman.

Max and Lucas plodded inside, and Steve watched as the trailer lights came on. 

Mike and Eleven were almost finished with their snowman as well, but Eleven seemed to be struggling with what she wanted to do with the face.

“You can’t rush perfection!” Eddie hollered as he began to leisurely weave the sticks Steve brought back into the ‘wall’ of his snow-dome.

“Perfection, sure,” Max said with a roll of her eyes. “Well, I’m freezing my ass off, so I’m going in. Come on, Lucas. We can judge the snowmen and the ‘snow-dome’ from the window.” 

Max’s mom must be working late again and though she would never complain, Steve knew that Max still struggled to do basic tasks around the house like prepping meals and cleaning. He could see Lucas readily putting a pot of water on the boil though and seeing to her needs. 

“So, what kind of contest is this?” Steve asked as he knelt in the snow with Eddie and began handing him sticks as he wove.

“Snowmen building,” Eddie answered simply, obviously concentrating.

“Well, this is the weirdest snowman I’ve ever seen,” Steve commented, looking up at the walls of Eddie’s snow-dome and wondering just how high he was planning to make it.

“No, well, obviously it’s not,” Eddie corrected, sounding annoyed that Steve didn’t understand. “The kids were building snowmen, and making a kind of contest about it, and I was going to show them up on that too, but… I don’t really remember how we got onto the topic, but one of those twerps said something about building a fort out of snow would be impossible, so it was like challenge accepted and boom, snow-dome.”

Steve listened quietly as he lazily handed over sticks to Eddie; well, at least he seemed energized by it and Steve didn’t really mind helping out, but it was starting to get dark already. How long were they going to be at this?

“We’re going in, Eddie,” Mike declared as he held Eleven’s hand and led her toward Max’s trailer. “You’re welcome to join when you finish.”

Mike seemed a bit awkward as he hovered, obviously not wanting to leave Eddie out here and wanting his attention. Eddie wasn’t even looking at him though and waved Mike off without a second thought.

“Yeah, later, Wheeler,” Eddie replied, waving over his shoulder at the teen.

“Bye, Steve,” Eleven said, waving at him. “I’m sure you can join too.”

Steve waved back lightly, smiling a bit forcefully at the teens. He appreciated the invite, but it felt a bit awkward to accept, plus, he had come over to spend time with Eddie.

“I need more snow,” Eddie declared, standing up as he started to pack the snow around the stick frame he had built. “We’re like… thatching this bitch. If we get it about—so—high, then we can start curving it inward to create the dome part. It’ll be more like a tapered cylinder, like a watch tower, but it’ll work.”

“Right,” Steve grunted as he stood up, grabbed the bucket again, and walked out into the snowy field. “I’ll be back then, Mr. Architect.”

Steve assisted diligently and didn’t complain as he brought back bucket after bucket full of snow and then stopped to help Eddie pack it all together. Eventually, Eddie was kneeling inside the dome and Steve was on the outside so they could sandwich the snow together and make it stick better.

It was nearly pitch black by the time they finished; it had stopped snowing a while ago, and the sky was clear enough to show the stars and the moon above. Their work was only being illuminated by the moon and the dim light coming from people’s trailers, but it left everything feeling rather private, and nostalgic.

“We gotta leave a hole at the top to let the air out,” Eddie declared, carefully packing the snow into place. Honestly, it looked like it was working and while Steve couldn’t say how long the walls would stay up, Eddie had succeeded in making a snow-dome. 

“Wanna check it out?” Eddie asked as he ducked down and looked at Steve through the small opening in the side of his dome.

“Uhh… sure,” Steve said, before crawling through the entrance. “Make room, wide-load.”

He was teasing of course because Eddie was ridiculously thin and all he really had to do was move over to the side to let Steve in.

“See?” Eddie indicated, gesturing around the dome, before laying on his back.

Steve mirrored Eddie’s position and lay beside him as he stared up at the ceiling of the dome.

“This better not fall on me,” Steve said lightly, having to adjust awkwardly and stick his feet out of the entrance in order to fit.

“Enjoy yourself for once, Harrington,” Eddie teased, before sighing and looking up through the hole in the roof.

It was pretty to look at, even if they only had a small window. You could make out the blackness of the sky and the little pinpricks of light dotting across the expanse, creating a sort of telescope effect.

Really, the only thing Steve could properly appreciate at the moment was being able to rest for the first time since he got here.

He glanced at Eddie, though, who was staring at the sky and breathing calmly—the little puffs of vapour floating away from his lips—a slight smile on his face. He looked peaceful—happy, too. Steve didn’t get to see Eddie pause all that often, and it was nice to see him enjoying the fruits of his labour.

“Thanks for helping out,” Eddie said idly, not looking away from the sky. He dropped his hand slowly and nudged up against the back of Steve’s hand.

“Yeah… of course,” Steve replied, finishing the motion and taking Eddie’s hand to hold. He returned his gaze to the roof, looking at the darkness and the moon that was slowly inching into view.

The two of them grew quietly again, and Steve could feel his sweat slowly starting to chill his body. They should head in soon, but it felt terribly romantic to be out here together now that they had finished Eddie’s snow-dome.

“Steve?” Eddie said suddenly, his voice quiet and distant sounding.

“Yeah, Eddie?” Steve asked, rolling his head to look at Eddie again. He was still staring up through the ceiling, but his smile had faded, and instead, he looked thoughtful as he breathed slowly. Even in the dull light, Steve could tell that his nose was red from the chill and snow had clumped in parts of his hair. He looked young… and there was a wanderlust to him that Steve envied. He liked looking at Eddie when he wasn’t moving around so frantically—the pause always made him look like an artist, and Steve found himself drawn to that. This contemplation that Steve didn’t think he had ever experienced for himself, but that he valued more than anything in others. 

“Do you like me?” Eddie asked, his tone quiet but lacking fear. They were still holding hands and Steve didn’t feel intimidated at all by answering him; they’d been inching toward this anyway, they just hadn’t said it out loud yet.

“… yeah,” Steve answered back, watching as Eddie slowly rolled his head so they were looking at one another.

Steve squeezed his hand and Eddie smiled, looking positively brilliant as he lay there.

“Me too,” Eddie sighed, which made Steve’s breath hitch slightly. It wasn’t always that Eddie looked so happy, and Steve felt softhearted being in the presence of Eddie’s bliss like this. 

Steve reached over slowly with his free hand and touched Eddie’s cheek, stroking along his jaw. It felt right to do this now, and Eddie seemed to have much the same idea as he rolled onto his side and let Steve guide him.

They both scanned each other’s expressions as Steve drew Eddie in closer, their noses brushing together first as Steve felt the sting of cold against his skin. Eddie seemed to be transfixed by him, and Steve could feel the world stopping around them as he sunk into the moment. It felt innocent and romantic, and Eddie seemed to hesitate not out of denial, but out of uncertainty. As if he wasn’t sure what to do at this point now that they were here.

Steve smiled lightly at that and closed the distance between them, kissing Eddie softly as he felt the other man draw in a breath. It was still cold out, but Steve felt a bloom of heat against his skin as their lips met and Steve guided them into a slow roll of their tongues.

At every junction, Eddie seemed to hesitate and then follow suit, marking his actions as inexperienced and timid. That felt like a paradox for Eddie, but Steve didn’t mind as he smiled into the contact and squeezed Eddie’s other hand with his.

They parted eventually, despite Steve staying tucked in close. He could hear Eddie breathing a bit hard as they continued to watch one another quietly.

“Was that…” Steve asked, swiping Eddie’s bangs out of his face. “Your first kiss?”

As if to answer him, Steve saw Eddie’s face turn beet red as he ducked down and away from Steve. He was hiding, and Steve felt his chest explode with adoration at the action.

“Shut up,” Eddie mumbled, hiding as he pressed his forehead against Steve’s chin.

Steve had to close his eyes from how adorable it was. How Eddie had rendered him positively smitten and made Steve’s whole body light up like a Christmas tree.

“Was it bad?” Eddie asked, sounding incredibly small as he continued to hide.

“No,” Steve sighed, sounding almost dreamy as he slid his hand to Eddie’s back and soothed him slightly. “No… just… gentle.”

Steve wasn’t sure how else to describe the contact, and he wouldn’t press Eddie on it any further, but judging from this very likely being Eddie’s first kiss… that probably also meant he was a virgin. A twenty-year-old metal head that was supposed to be the scourge of the devil himself… and Eddie had never so much as kissed someone before.

Steve pulled in a breath to steady himself, his entire body tingling with affection as he held Eddie and just let them lay there in the snow.

“Can we go in?” Eddie asked, still sounding shy. “I’m freezing my ass off out here.”

Steve chuckled and let go of Eddie, rolling onto his back again.

“Yeah, course,” he offered, sighing happily and stealing one last look at the moon before shifting onto his knees and crawling out of the snow fort. 

#BatBoysxPrompts #I don't usually write just pure fluff so this was fun #let them smooch in the ~snow dome~ #I also don't usually write “Eddie has no experience with kissing/being intimate at all” so this was very somft feeling #steddie #my_writing #eddie munson #steve harrington #stranger things #steddie fic #background #lumax #BatBoysPrompts

[happiness-of-the-pursuit]

2023 Fic Round Up (Part 2: Fic Quotes)

For favorite lines, I tried to choose quotes that may have less visibility—maybe they haven't made it into a tumblr post or the summary, but I love them all the same. To make this easier for myself, I'm limiting this to quotes from my three published works that I'm the most proud of, plus the two WIPs that I've worked on the most recently.

Presented in reverse chronological order, I present fic quotes:

Unnamed Porn Star x Filmmaker AU

I literally wrote both of these as I outlined two days ago, so they have not reached their Final Form. Also, Smut Warning.

Alex is jealous of the wax. An inanimate object. For being spread across another man’s body. He’s pretty sure he’s completely lost his mind.

Moments later, Henry comes all over Basil’s hand as he uses it to stroke Henry, coating the deep blue wax that’s slowly hardening on his dick. A completely fucking mess. Alex wants to get his mouth on it.

Honey, You're Familiar (From My Mirror Years Ago) aka the Dads Fic

I've shared a lot of my favorites, but I don't know if I've shared this—pretty prose has never been a strength of mine, so I'm pretty proud of this:

June glances up at Henry, studying him for a moment. He wonders what she sees, if she can tell that he’s a crystal vase filled with a bouquet of emotions—absolutely transparent and if nudged too hard, the carefully crafted container might just crack apart, contents spilling out, shattering all remnants of what might have once been construed as beautiful.  An unavoidable mess. The hyacinths, taking up most of the space, for regret and remorse. Tulips, a bit hopeful, for forgiveness. Purple lilac, stubbornly wedged in the mix from the first moment Alex flashed his smile at Henry, for love at first sight. He thinks maybe June does catch a glimpse of the blossoms, because the next thing he knows, her eyes face softens a bit, and she’s turning back to face her cousins with her hand pressed against Henry’s back. It’s not the touch of the Claremont-Díaz sibling he craves, but it still settles him somehow, even before she speaks.

(Dil)Do It Yourself 

Chapter 1

“Pez, like the candy?” Alex blurts out. He doesn’t have much of a filter on a good day, but hot people make his porous coffee filter turn into a goddamn colander.

Also Chapter 1

"If I find that you have somehow managed to muck it up, how should I plan to contact you?” Alex grins back at Henry. He has no fucking clue why this British elf who speaks like a Victorian orphan and looks like he stepped out of a Calvin Klein photoshoot has him thinking about getting a second apartment key made, but here he is. Mentally googling routes to his nearest hardware store. “Well, usually, when it’s for business I just give out my fax,” he drawls, unable to contain his smile as he gets to the second half of his sentence. “But since I’m fairly interested in mixing this with pleasure, I guess I can share my cell number.”

Soft stuff before the less soft stuff in Chapter 3

What he’s absolutely not prepared for is the look on Henry’s face when he spots Alex entering the shop—like Alex just saved babies from a burning building or cured cancer or something. It’s way too fucking much when Henry doesn’t even know about Alex’s coffee addiction or the way he incessantly taps his foot when he’s focused or how Alex accidentally interrupts people when he starts getting really passionate in a debate. Maybe Alex can accept that Henry’s into his jokes or his smile or his dick. But basically, Henry hasn’t learned about all the other stuff that comes with spending an extended period of time around Alex. He’s not getting his hopes up. Except when Henry smiles, and softly greets him with “I missed you,” Alex absolutely gets his hopes up.

Claremont 2008 

Both of these are from the final chapter of the fic:

Henry’s sitting at his desk, a heavily annotated Norton’s Anthology of Poetry propped open to his left, a notebook full of beautiful, neat cursive laid open to his right. The soft glow of his lamp warms the small space, coupled with the changing light from the window as the early sunset fills the room with an orangey light that makes Henry appear golden, like he’s been blessed by Apollo, or Helios, or some other sun god.

Finally arriving at their door, Henry unlocks it for the first time, the movers having finished up while the two of them went over to pick up a nametag for their new roommate. After taking a few steps down the hall, they enter into a cozy living room already filled with both their book collections and their family photos all jumbled together. The Lightning Thief sits next to Pride and Prejudice like they’re two puzzle pieces aligning, a photo of Henry and Arthur on a sailboat hangs next to one of Alex sitting on his abuela’s lap: two homes side by side. 

Freaky Friday (I woke up in my enemy's body) 

Alex waxing poetic about Shaan's ass

“You can, er , go,” Alex directs him, though it comes out like more of a question. Apparently it was effective enough, though, because the guy exits, and the phrase “hate to see you go, love to watch you leave” pops into his mind when he gets a view of his ass strutting out of the room in that suit.

The Great Dick Soliloquy

Eventually, and to Alex’s great shame, he gives in. He just has to know, okay? It’ll just be a brief glimpse, he assures himself. Alex is not kidding when he says that he took one glance at Henry’s dick and it changed his life. He really did intend on it being a brief glimpse.

Thank you to @hgejfmw-hgejhsf @firenati0n @anincompletelist for the tags!

Sorry if I missed one of y'all doing this, tagging @littlemisskittentoes @ssmtskw @affectionatelyrs @read-and-write- @matherines @rockyroadkylers!

To see all my 2023 fics in Part 1, click here.

#rwrb fanfic #red white and royal blue #firstprince #fanfiction #alex claremont diaz #henry fox mountchristen windsor #rwrb #favorite lines #happinessofthepursuit writes

[she-posts-nerdy-stuff]

Hi!! this is a kinda random question, but I was just thinking about it. So we know that the Druskelle (and presumably most of Fjerda) are bigoted, racist, etc.. Does that stem from their culture and like the wars and stuff or is that part of their religion? I guess hypothetically could Matthias/Maya/your other Fjerdan ocs have corrected their prejudices and still believed in Djel or do the two beliefs contradict? Just wondering what your take is :)

Hi, thanks for the ask!

I absolutely adore religion in the Grishaverse and a while ago I wrote quite a long analysis on Matthias and Inej's relationship with their respective religions, mostly focusing on Djel since I feel I know more about Fjerdan religion than Ravkan having read the soc duology a lot more times than the other books, and I talked quite a bit about some of these things so I'll link that here in case anyone is interested and below I'll put a couple of quotes from that more specifically pertaining to what you've said here. Essentially, I believe that the Drüskelle order is a cult and represents a warped version of Fjerdan religion and that Matthias' journey of self-discovery and of learning to find the version of Djel that he believes in and that aligns with who he wants to be is one of the most beautifully written character arcs I have ever read.

Some quotes from my previous analysis:

"Theoretically, the Drüskelle are raised (forced) to believe the same basic principles of the religion that most of the religious people in the country are [...] However, what’s taken completely further is that the Drüskelle are told that the only way to be truly respected by their god is to take decisive action against Grisha people for their power, because it’s “demonic” and a warping of Djel’s gifts. Now first of all, none of the religious teachings we learn about as the reader even remotely suggest this, which suggest that it’s a baseless prejudice for which religion has been used as an excuse for so long that it’s become culturally ingrained and believed."

"Matthias even shows particular pride that he was personally told the secret of the second glass bridge by Jarl Brum himself"

"And this is the thing, ok, because by claiming that Djel will show the boys the path and then telling them himself (!!!!!!!!) Brum is claiming far more power than a servant of Djel and or Fjerda. No, now he turns himself into a messenger of Djel, a prophet if you will, just to reaaaalllly double down on that religious trauma he’s giving these kids. He is putting himself into the Messiah-like position; he’s saying that Djel sent him to them to tell them that they must kidnap and kill people to earn his love."

"in his own practice Matthias would appear to see Djel as a benevolent god"

"presented himself as a Messiah-like figure and effectively forced these young boys to believe that betraying him is akin to betraying Djel"

Okay I'm restraining myself from adding more to that list because I'm just sitting here reading through the original analysis going "ooo add that" "and that" "that too" and I'll just end up copy and pasting the whole thing if I carry on like this, so if you'd like to read more I should've linked it at the top :)

I'm gonna talk a bit about Djel and relationship with religion in terms of my Fjerdan OCs here, if anyone is interested but hasn't read the fic you don't have to have done to follow the religion info but it's worth knowing that it's set almost entirely in Ketterdam and takes place nearly 10 years after Crooked Kingdom :)

For my Fjerdan OCs religion is very much on my mind whenever I'm writing them, and I find it a very interesting thing to consider. So, I have three Fjerdan OCs in Daughter of the Rain and Snow: Maya, a Tidemaker and our titular character, Celina, a deceased (pre-events of the fic) otkazat'sya whose body was burned and who therefore cannot reach Djel, and Fiona, a Heartrender who lost her relationship with religion a long time ago and has no interest in taking it up again. I'm going to start with Fiona because I haven't really explored her relationship with Djel very much since she has had less scenes than the others thus far, but I tend to have quite fleshed out backstories for my side characters even if they don't make it into the story lol

Fiona is 22 during the events of the fic and has been working with Inej and the crew of the Wraith for almost four years. She made her way to Ketterdam at 17 after her family discovered she was Grisha and threw her out. In a desperate attempt to flee Fjerda - and notably not knowing any Kerch language - she signed an indenture contract with a Kerch merchant who offered her safe passage to the country. She did not know what she was signing, and her contract was written in Kerch, but she just wanted to get out of Fjerda as quickly as possible and this seemed like her only option. She was freed and ended up working with Inej when she was 18. Fiona had battled with her relationship with Djel for a long time after discovering she was Grisha and keeping it secret, but when her parents learnt the truth and started abusing her and eventually turned her out with nowhere to go and no protection to be found she adopted atheism completely, akin to the way Kaz and Wylan found their atheism. -

“Saints speed,” she said to Inej, who echoed the words she knew were said for her benefit alone.

Fiona had given up on Djel, the god she was raised with, and had no interest in taking up another. (Chapter 8) (I feel so weird quoting my own writing)

Religion is very much at the forefront of everything I write considering Maya and Celina, particularly since Celina only appears as a character in Maya's POV chapters (she exists more as a concept to Kaz, Inej, and Aimee, who connect her to things she represents to each of them but whom they never knew as a real person). Maya battling her relationship with Djel is very much in the forefront of the story and one of my favourite chapters is when she goes back to the tree she cut down in anger and prays for it; the chapter is essentially a long monologue of Maya talking to Djel and voicing every side of her argument out loud. I won't list everything here but I'll add this quote from the chapter:

“I’ve tried it every way,” she whispered, failing to fight the sobs that were growing in her throat, “I ignored it, I tried not to use it, I used it for others, I used it for myself, I used it for You. And I have somehow failed You every time. Maybe I deserve to burn now, but they say you are born Grisha. Did You really look at me and always know I would deserve to burn? From the very moment I was born? Perhaps this is all I am in Your grand tapestry of destiny; a game for You to play, a doll that You can take apart and stitch together at wrong angles. I am a broken toy that can be discarded and burnt whilst the world moves on as though I were never here. I made the wrong choices, but I thought they were the only ones left. You could have let me stay at home. You could have let her live - let both of them live. And I never would have done anything like this. I’m so sorry…” her voice broke and she felt the tears flooding over her cheeks as she collapsed over the ruined tree trunk and cried into its empty flesh, “I’m so sorry,” (Chapter 66 on tumblr, chapter 67 on AO3)

And the chapter ultimately ends with Maya asking Djel to teach her how to deserve forgiveness from Inej and the other characters for everything she'd done, or to at least teach her how to forgive Him.

I think one of the most important aspects of religion in terms of this and in terms of Maya and Celina's relationship with each other is that even though Celina knows Maya is a Tidemaker neither of them ever talk about it and Maya reached a point where she was actively afraid to bring it up because she didn't know how Celina felt about Grisha and she didn't want to jeopardise not only what is the only relationship she has with anyone right now but arguably what is the first relationship she's ever had that wouldn't be considered abusive (her relationship with her father is kinda up in the air, I know, but considering that he sold her I don't think it's a spoiler to say I hate that man's guts even though y'all have a little bit more to learn about him yet) since realistically Celina was the only person she had a real conversation with for three years and the only other people she spoke to in that time would be clients, Yennefer, and occasionally other girls at the Tulip Mill. Maya even saw Yennefer's death more as vengeance for Celina than she did for herself, saying that Yen's death was for Celina and Kaz's death would be for her before she finds out that Kaz was partially responsible for Celina's death in the worldview that she holds - and as Kaz considers himself no less responsible for her death than Rollins was for Jordie's. I don't know if I'm explaining it quite right but the fear that Maya developed surrounding other people's perspective on Grisha power preventing her from being able to share her feelings with Celina I found a really heart-wrenching detail to write and I was definitely hoping to present the idea that even if religiously the ideas don't contradict - considering that we see Celina adapt her belief in Djel to say that anything that she does at the Tulip Mill will be forgiven because she has no choice over it - culturally speaking it's still such a complex and difficult thing to move past that Maya isn't even sure she can ever express it to the only person she trusts, and I also hoped to touch on this idea with the flashbacks to the Ravkan boy at the Grisha workshop with Maya who didn't trust her because she was Fjerdan even though she was Grisha and had literally fled Drüskelle and her home country

Anyway I hope this made sense, it's starting to feel very rambly and random, and I hope that it was interesting to read. Thanks so much for teh ask and for your interest in the fic! <33

#maya olsen oc #six of crows #grishaverse #crooked kingdom #leigh bardugo #six of crows fic #six of crows duology #kanej fic #asks #grishaverse religion #djel #fjerda #druskelle #my ocs #matthias helvar #fantasy religion

[blood-mocha-latte]

~ miscellaneous tag game ~

tagged by the lovely @mutantmanifesto and @dontirrigateme <3

Favorite place in the world you’ve visited?

rough draw but munich! 'twas gorgeous and also where I got engaged

Something you’re proud of yourself for?

dragging my ass through college in two years and double majoring. nearly killed me but by god it's done

Favorite books?

the awakening by kate chopin - the woman in white by wilkie collins - all quiet on the western front by erich maria remarque - a tree grows in brooklyn by betty smith - letters from the 442nd by min masuda

Something that makes your heart happy when thinking about it?

mah wife (borat voice)

Favorite thing about your culture?

god what even is my culture. how unhinged would i sound if i said swamps and rigatoni

When did you join the HBO War fandom? What was the first show you watched?

joined about three years ago but not on tumblr, but watched the pacific first

Have you read any of Easy Company’s books? If so, which ones were your favorite?

no because i. have a reading list and they aren't up in the queue lmao

Favorite HBO War character and your favorite moment with them?

leckie. he’s like. webster if webster was a wet cat what’s not to love. favorite moment is all moments ever EXCEPT for the sex scenes because what kind of hallucinogen did i take to have to watch that

Do you make content for any fandoms, if so; what sort of content?

i write fic and am. a little consumed by it at all times. i also make edits but am going through a bit of a rut with that so for now only writing thank you

Favorite actor/actress and your favorite film of theirs?

eliza dushku for her wonderful performances in buffy the vampire slayer and angel (i'm gay. can you tell)

Favorite quote/s that you wish to share with others?

just this entire dick allen poem which is luztoye coded forever and ever

Random fact your mutuals/followers don’t know about you?

hm. idk. i once got bit by a raccoon in a bayou and had to get rabies shots for the next two weeks

If you’re a writer, do you need a beta reader (say yes so I can be your beta reader 🤭)?

i write everything by hand and then put in in the Computer which is like. a built in beta edit. and then mah wife (borat voice) betas for me because she's wonderful

Three things that make you smile?

mah wife (borat voice) (i'm predictable)

our air purifier (i’m old)

our vintage dog teapot

Any nicknames you like?

my name is three letters long like there's not a lot of leeway there. i went by adelasia for a while which is my middle name but like. that's it. does papera count

List some people you love to see around on tumblr!

@lamialamia is the pillar of my entire person at all times and genuinely one of the nicest people i’ve ever met. linh wrote this wonderful fic for the secret santa exchange, which i am currently reading and fawning over

@staud is easily one of the talented people in the entire hbo war fandom and has the fucking VISION for gifs and videos. most recent of which i’ve watched (and panicked about) being an incredible eugene sledge video. erin is also just fucking funny bro idk what to tell you

@mutantmanifesto is someone that is like. genuinely a celebrity to me. every time i see lenora’s drawings anywhere i have flashbacks like i’m in the louvre. also just a wonderful person with incredible taste

@ep6bastogne is on a tumblr hiatus right now but always deserves a shoutout. she did incredible edits of skinny sisk, eugene roe, ron speirs, and david webster for the secret santa exchange that changed my brain chemistry forever and is one of the warmest people i’ve ever talked to

@ewipandora is someone that i’m ALWAYS holding hands with <3. both a genuinely funny and wonderful person and has incredible taste in reblogs. ewi is currently doing a band of brothers ship series that i plan to Consume as soon as possible because i have no doubt that they’re incredible

@dcyllom is an incredibly underrated and kind part of my Dashboard Experience™ and is also just wonderful and one of my favorite Tumblr People :)

@educationalporpoises is a genius and an INCREDIBLE writer. zee was my secret santa gifter and this luztoye fic knocked it all the way out of the park and into the cemetery, which is how hard it slayed. also wins for best mutual handle

@almost-a-class-act is ridiculously supportive and kind, and a backbone of the hbo war fandom forever and always. sam’s also one of the best fucking writers to ever grace this earth, with the most recent thing i’ve read being this top notch luztoye fic <3

What would you do during a zombie apocalypse?

die. girl i work in an er i'd be the first to go

Favorite movie?

ladri di biciclette for all time favorite movie ever. a perfect movie

Do you like horror movies?

it depends entirely on the level of homoerotism that can be found in those movies. and also if matthew lillard is in it

Tagging:

everyone mentioned above as well as anyone who wants to do it since i have no clue who’s been tagged :)

#rie talks #tag games

[rollerskatinglizard]

20 questions for fan creators

Thanks for tagging me, @rhea314!

How many works do you have on ao3? 112 fics!

What’s your total Ao3 word count? 1,360,000, holy smokes.

What fandoms do you create for? Motorcity and Homestuck!

Top 5 Works by Kudos: Top fic is Diamonds for Princes, then comes Heredity and Blackmail (even though I didn't finish it), What it takes to satisfy a Turk, shadows spreading where you stand, and Chilton 2.0.

Do you respond to comments? All except for cowritten fics sometimes! All the rest, I may answer two years late but I WILL RESPOND!!

What is the work you’ve made with the angstiest ending? Probably the first of my whump shortfics! Here's to major character death, babyyyy

What’s the work you’ve made with the happiest ending? I try to write most of my fics with happy endings, but honestly I have no idea which one is the happy-EST. Maybe Shadows spreading where you stand? Or In the Lost Age Where the Jewels Hide!

Do you get hate on your works? Nope!

Do you create smut? Hell yes I do! Happy pornographer here.

Craziest crossover? I'm pretty sure the only crossover that might be termed "crazy" is Taking the Helm, with Motorcity characters in a Homestuck setting (as trolls).

Have you ever had a work stolen? Not that I'm aware of, fortunately.

Have you ever had a work inspired by your works? Yes!! A number of awesome people have drawn art from my fics or made podfics of them, and there've been one or two inspired fics. <3

Have you co-recorded/co-written/co-vidded before? I have three wonderful cowriters who I click very well with! Cowriting is a very different process from writing alone, and I enjoy it a lot.

All time favorite ship? Right now, Mike Chilton/Chuck.

What’s a WIP you want to finish, but doubt you ever will? Honestly I'm beset with doubt about many of my wips at all times... ToT Maybe my (non)soulmates fic.

What are your podficcing/writing/vidding strengths? I'm getting better at humor! My action scenes are fairly gripping, when I bother to write one, and my porn is hot or cute or both.

What are your podficcing/writing/vidding weaknesses? I almost never describe settings, I don't vary my sentence structure or paragraph beginnings enough, my fics tend to be light on plot, and my writing is neither lyrical nor vivid and visceral. It's, like... workmanlike. It gets the job done, that's it.

Thoughts on dialogue in another language? Depends! If it's just a brief bit in a fic, totally, go for it, but if there are long chunks written in a different language (one I undoubtedly don't speak), that irritates me for multiple reasons. (I found Lolita's narrator incredibly irritating and full of himself for his habit of constantly dropping in long quotes in other languages.) If you're doing it because that's the language they'd be speaking, but your POV character doesn't understand, you can convey the annoyance of that just as well with skillful writing, and if the POV does understand... just translate.

First fandom you podficced/wrote in/vidded? Oh man, an age ago I started and didn't finish a number of Slayers fics, and then Gundam Wing.

Favorite work you’ve made? I... I can't pick just one! I still adore my naga fic hold you down until you're amazed, and Ace Up the Sleeve, and my (second) werewolf gangbang fic A Gregarious Species, and then there's my king/knight fic All Manner of Indignities...

No, wait. My fav fic of all is the short one where the Burners end up messing with the Duke: Spite, that great motivator. XD Even now, it makes me giggle.

Uhhh I tag @aishitara and @aspenonthecoast, and anyone else if you're around and feel like it!

#writing game #tag game #writing

[inventedfangirling]

bad buddy fandom getting-to-know-you meme!

ah finally after a gazillion years i've been able to get around to doing this after being tagged by the ever sweet @fiercynn , so lemme straightaway get down to it.

note: i consider "fanworks" to pretty much everything people create related to a fandom, including but not limited to meta/analysis/discussion, gifs, fanvids/edits/fancams, filk, fanart, fanfic, fan food, fan crafts, etc.

name and whatever you want to share about yourself

hello there, i'm a 24 year old gray-ace panromantic desi on the romance positive end of the arospec (im still undergoing the wonderful but also often difficult and long journey of discovering myself so this is subject to change :3), i prefer going by my username so i'm not sharing my name.

when did you watch bad buddy/join the fandom?

i watched bad buddy exactly 3 months ago on the 15th of May, 2023. i watched all the episodes all on the same day and i know the date because after finishing the show i sent a 7 minute long audio note gushing about the show to my best friend. i ADORED it that much. and that's where all of this started. i loved the show so much and the lack of people i knew irl who were interested meant i had to find other people in the fandom to freak out with. i kept posting one after another favourite bad buddy edit of mine on my twitter page, gushing about it, but i got barely any response and that's when i reminded myself that tumblr exists and i should get back on here. and that's how i made this account 2 weeks after i watched the show and voila here i am surrounded by people who are as crazy about the show as i am and i couldn't be more delighted about it :')

favorite ship(s)

patpran and inkpa ofc

favorite character(s)

i love pat with all my heart, the man he ends up becoming along the course of the show is one of my most favorite portrayals of any man ever BUT pran is my actual favorite, he is my baby, (somehow both) my elder and younger brother and my best friend and he has my whole heart. his love, his hesitance, his anxiety, his bravery, his dimples, his FOREHEAD, his striped shirts, his precious heart i would DIE for him no questions asked.

favorite episode(s)

episode 11. each segment had something for the heart, i adored every single second of it...the sheer volume of beaut quotes from this episode is mind blowing! ("being with you already feels like freedom", "i can be anywhere as long as i have you", "we have been happier a lot too", "thankyou for trying to make a silly guy like me happy..." "i wrote this song for him", "one man can't change the world, but this world can't change me too"), and the soft loving looks of adoration making me clutch my chest, but also there was the quintessential patpran banter and bad buddy humour and wisdom i LOVE this episode with all my heart.

episode 5 is perfection. it comes second for me, but that kiss will always be number 1 <3

favorite scene(s)

rooftop kiss, balcony phone call, episode 7 ending when pat comes to save the day and the play, episode 11 red shirts commitment expression scene, and the final credits and post credits scene

one thing you would change about the show if you could

i wished the gangs didnt bully eo or anybody else even in the beginning, i get it shows growth but still i wished that was shown differently. also i wish we got a conversation where they talk about the guitar. and while we're here i wish it was somehow longer, i could have watched ohmnanon be patpran for HOOOURS.

what are your some of your favorite fanworks made by other people?

traffic was slow for the crash years by @fiercynn aka the creator of this meme. i absolutely adored every single second of the fic. despite it giving me a WORLD of pain. all the pain made it more beautiful and everything was worth it in the end. like i said before you took a great thing and made it even better <3

every piece of art that @hereforlou comes up with. you are a GEM!

all of nanons gorgeous gifsets!!

same page video edit that even p'aof tweeted about. SO good.

enchanted (aka patpran's official song) and other patpran edits by this same SO very talented editor

mudhal nee mudivum nee - another beautiful edit but desi so its even better <3

this super clever edit of patpran to message in a bottle. it's an instant serotonin booster for me.

(if you create fanworks) what are your favorite fanworks that you’ve made?

you can hear it in the silence - bad buddy bet era fic (the only one i've written till now)

my bad buddy textposts collection

my pran and pat's growth posts

this post that took me 20 mins to write but is one of my fav things ive written about the show

my long treatise of bet era patpran that took me a week!

list of accounts (hopefully i haven't forgotten any) whose meta and analysis and brainrot i absolutely adore- @miscellar , @telomeke-bbs , @grapejuicegay , @aroceu, @dudeyuri, @dribs-and-drabbles, @dimplesandfierceeyes, @sharingfandoms, @waitmyturtles, @ranchthoughts, @lurkingteapot, @lurkingshan, @thegayneurodivergentagenda, @kenmakaashi, @absolutebl, @charthanry, @bengiyo, @mahuhumaling, @panickedbisexualwatchesbl, @jemmo, @patspran, @fiercynn, @midnightfreeway, @fierceeyesanddimples and a couple more im sure ive missed. it was {and continues to be} a pleasure reading their thoughts about the show (or any other show that we've mutually watched).

a song that makes you think of bbs (the ones in the show don’t count lol)

message in a bottle because of this edit

daylight cos of this edit

enchanted, because of the infinite edits we've got from it and if im not wrong pat ohm has acknowledged it too

and basically all other romantic songs in the history of romance i guess :3

alrighty then i think i'm done with this tag. this was a LOT of fun to compile <3

#bad buddy #bad buddy getting to know you meme #bad buddy fanworks recs #bbs fandom #bad buddy fandom #bad buddy the series #patpran

[appalachianapologies]

okay so I was tagged by @lailuhhh and @rosieblogstuff and I think one other person (i am so sorry i forgor) many days ago and i am finally doing the first sentence of ten works thing. I guess the general consensus is no one knows whether or not this is for WIPs or posted things so like many others I'll just do a combo of both :D

From a wip that is uhhhh 22k and counting long, titled in my google docs as simply "fuck it desi lore," starting off strong with a sentence that I don't think is actually grammatically correct but you know what sometimes the vibes matter more than grammar and you can quote me on that: Later, Desi will feel guilty for it.

From chapter one of Remittent Distress, we have a line that sounds like it's going to be macriley WHICH IT IS NOT- (PS she's just out on a little mini mission she's not dead or anything) During the three days that Riley has been gone, Mac's been coping poorly.

Another chapter one first sentence, we have the first line of what's shaping up to be my next book! Cue the school intercom noise... "Good morning Ravens, happy Tuesday, and happy first day of school!"

Next we have chapter one (not the prologue) of False Dawn, which is a WIP that keeps me up at night and makes me feel far too many emotions at once: Bozer has a strange affinity for sending physical letters.

We have a bit of a secret fic that's up next- set in Tender Mercies universe, except this is set approximately 10 years in the future from Aground, the most recent fic in the series. Mac makes it a single step into the visitation cell before freezing on the spot.

Next up we have the first line of one of my favorite fics of mine, where we get some Sam Cage! (sam my beloved). Get ready for the first sentence of Episteme! Samantha Cage, despite her evergrowing want to be out of the life she threw herself into, isn’t exactly sure how to stay out of it.

Okay so this is the first line at the moment, but might not be if/when I finally get around to writing the vast majority of this fic. After drafting out an entire fic on a plane ride about a year ago, I only actually fully wrote out a few paragraphs. Here's the beginning of it as of right now: “Arriving in forty-five minutes,” comes the eventual answer through Mac’s earpiece. 

Now we have the first line from Past + Fire + Present, purely because I think it's a fabulous addition to the whole point of this post (and also this does happen to be a fic that i am quite happy about how it came out). The first sentence is a little bit lack-luster though... Hands.

Changing things up a bit, this next sentence is from my 95% finished The Martian fic that has been 95% finished for over a year at this point. I really just need to write two more paragraphs and post it at this point, but here's the start! Sneaking out of Beck's quarters as soon as he stepped out to talk to the rest of the crew was probably not the brightest of plans, but I can’t take it back now.

And to end things off, we're going to hop back to Remittent Distress, but this time in the form of the first sentence for chapter three! (Currently working on it, fear not) It’s to be expected.

I'm fairly certain that at this point everyone that I know has been tagged in this (and I'm also like a week or two late at this point), so if you see this, assume you're being tagged! (and also if you write your own please tag me somewhere in it so I can read your sentences :D)

#in which vi actually writes #macgyver #the martian #original fiction #in which vi thinks about writing #tag games #writing games #looking at how i start my pieces and going. ''damn girl you [write] like this?'' (derogatory) #idk man at some point i'll learn how to start pieces. that point is clearly not today though #''Hands.'' WHERE'S MY FUCKING PULITZER