#read alikes

[scifimagpie]

Back on Ash Tree Lane: Revisiting House of Leaves

Art by Michelle Browne, 2023. Yep, I'm back on my bullshit.

An abbreviated version of this appears as a review for the book on my Amazon and Goodreads accounts, but I realised I had more to say. 

Beware, because 

SPOILERS SPOILERS SPOILERS 

for this 23-year-old book (jeez) abound.

 I first read House of Leaves years and years ago, and then some friends suggested reading it for a book club this year. Naturally, I figured it was a good time for a revisit; it's probably been fifteen years or more since I picked it up. Maybe closer to twenty. (Jeez, I'm old.) 

Vibe Check

As much as parts of the book do genuinely deliver a dizzying thrill ride, the beginning of the book actually didn't quite hold up for me. But I have to admit, this is a book you have to binge - try to read it in long sessions. Also there's a ton of content warnings for this book - child abuse, sexual assault mentions, sexual harassment, mental illness, animal harm and death, infanticide, attempted child murder...plus some good, old-fashioned gore and body horror. Lots of horrible, excellent, spooky stuff, and it's generally treated with some respect. 

Once you start to "get" the book, the labyrinthine page formatting and the distracting footnotes - they're there for vibes most of the time, and to instill a sense of authenticity and realism - it's amazing. 

Is this book the most accessible thing I've ever read? Probably not. I don't even know how it is from a disability perspective - I'm not even sure how you'd make an audiobook that captures the vibe. (Maybe with lots of sound effects and clever editing tricks? Actually, if that exists somewhere, someone send it to me.)

And yet, the overall story, about the mental health issues of Johnny Truant, and the possibility of the entire thing being his invention? Or the invention of his mental health? And the subtle nested story meta-structure thing - is really sad and really cool. There's something very visceral about this sad, sad guy's lonely wandering and search for answers. 

A lot of people are tempted to skim Johnny's segments for some reason, but if at all possible, don't do that. Johnny's mother's institutionalization when he was young, his persistent struggles with poverty, mental health issues, substance use, and intimacy, as well as possible ADHD (just to take a few wild guesses), and the death of his "godlike" pilot father and the subsequent abusive monstrousness of his stepfather Raymond, are all essential parts of the narrative. 

Some griping

Yeah, it's at least borderline "dick lit," i.e. a book about man-pain bordering on the fetishistic (i.e., your On the Road, most Hemingway books, Crime and Punishment, Catch-22, Fight Club, plenty of other literary fiction titles - those are just some I've read that fit the bill). But this is "dick lit" that actually shares something scared, vulnerable, and alone, and shows the holes in toxic masculinity - as well as the dangers of mythologizing male figures in one's life. 

The creepy Oedipal stuff with Johnny's mother, as revealed in her letters from the mental institution, and the meta-fictional portrayal of Karen, as well as all the hookup girls, definitely fit too well into that Madonna/whore dichotomy. And it's worth saying that the book is extremely white and quite straight - for someone in LA, Johnny never seems to even encounter a queer person or drag queen/king, and homosexuality is only mentioned in a context of denigrating Will Navidson's masculinity, and questioning the fidelity of his wife, Karen. Even the book metatextually commentating on the mother/whore dichotomy, and having Johnny speculate on the inner lives of his hookups, does not succeed in fishing the book out of basic sexism. 

I can only speculate about ableism a little bit, but the character Reston felt like pretty good representation, and the mental health stuff - well, at least for me, it worked. The visceral horror of developing a family member's mental illness and recapitulating the cycle of trauma? Compulsive lying or avoidance of personal history to hide the horrors within? Yeah, I get it. Not all representation has to be Perfect (TM), and the institutionalization horror of his mother probably has some problems to unpack with it, but the cloying and suffocating nature of her attachment, as well as her desperate hunger for connection with the outside world, also shone through. 

I'll be honest - this is also a book that benefits from skimreading certain sections. I'm just not sure all the physics stuff actually adds to the narrative. I'm not a crunchy enough scientist to take value from it, personally. A lot of people hate Johnny, who is definitely not a Good Person, but I felt sympathetic towards the scrappy young man. I'm surprised Tumblr isn't all over House of Leaves, because he has "scrungly" disaster vibes for sure. (And possibly, considering how much he idolizes his friend Lude, a hint of coded bisexuality? For a book with a central focus on Greek mythology, it's agonizingly straight.)

The good stuff

My favourite sections are definitely the actual explorations of the house. It's no surprise that these are the segments that have resonated the most in pop culture - fans of the SCP (Secure, Contain, Protect) universe and HP Lovecraft have almost certainly run into the main concepts of this book already. 

I guess I'm a sucker for a good gothic novel, because there is something decidedly gothic about this one - it's a House, and it's Spooky, and it's about a Family and their mental illnesses. But in this case, the house is something that travels with Johnny, not just the physical location on Ash Tree Lane. The problems with the house for the Navidsons are all part of the baggage they carry with them. 

I've been sitting with the whole structural thing about the Minotaur, Theseus, Minos, and the whole stepson/stepfather hate thing, for a bit. There's this thematic element about Johnny being emotionally and mentally ill, and his mother being ill as well - that does seem like an intentional parallel? But there's also a thing about Zampano as Daedalus and a father figure, and Johnny as Icarus, soaring too high on his father's creation, only to be killed by it.

Is the entire thing an elaborate delusion? Is Zampano real? Who is this mysterious genius, this Daedalus-like figure whose invention - the book - ensnares and entraps Johnny, our humble Icarus and Minotaur? We certainly don't get answers, but he appears to be lonely, remote, and ripe for idealization. 

Is the Navidson Record meant to be real, or all Johnny's invention? The "editor" character is particularly interesting, especially because at no point do they clarify the reality or unreality of the manuscript.

When, throughout his extended mental breakdown, did Johnny possibly have time to pen this missive? It certainly seems possible that he was doing little else. But when was it accepted and submitted to a publishing company? The book definitely wants to give the vibe of just "appearing" in print. It's very "done" nowadays, but at the time, it was particularly revolutionary. 

Why does House of Leaves still work?

Well - in my opinion, HoL commits to the gothic and keeps you invested, but it also goes deep into the mental health issues that make up the backbone of both cosmic horror and the gothic novel. 

This, then, is probably why military takes on Lovecraftian fiction and the SCPs all kind of suck. I've watched a couple of Youtube videos and listened to a few Actual Play podcasts of Call of Cthulhu games with a Delta Green focus (that's a special forces take on Call of Cthulhu), and all of them just left me absolutely cold. (Maybe other people will enjoy these live-action takes on SCPs more than I did.) In addition to the fact that I'm just not much into jingoism, and I'm kinda critical of that whole carceral-state structure and the military industrial complex, conservative politics really don't work with cosmic horror or gothic novels. 

Sure, military elements can work great - in Lovecraft's Monsters, there's a rather good take on the story of Innsmouth that involves a military intervention - but it's also inherently critical of the role of said military. I do have some fondness for the Warhammer 40K universe as well, but that's also morally complex. 

Any kind of military apologia in the face of cosmic horror just absolutely sucks the scare factor right out of stuff. It's too objective and impersonal, when it should be intimate and invasive. And above all - really good horror must come from empathy. 

If you crave more

T Kingfisher/Ursula Vernon's What Moves the Dead, the HP Lovecraft stories "The Color Out of Space" and "Dreams in the Witch House" as well as the Shirley Jackson book We Have Always Lived in the Castle are pretty excellent classic read-alikes; I haven't read Grady Hendrix's How to Sell a Haunted House yet, but I loved Horrorstor, and that's another decent read-alike for building-based horror. The "Endless Ikea" SCP is available on Youtube in multiple reading formats, as well as videos, and of course, there's always the original version on the website. 

The podcasts Welcome to Night Vale, TANIS, and the Rusty Quill Archives also all offer some good horror content if you want to savour the visceral fear of something breathing down your neck, too!

***

A writer and professional freelance editor, Michelle Browne lives in Lethbridge, AB with her partners-in-crime and their cats. She is currently working on the next books in her series, other people's manuscripts, knitting, jewelry-making, and drinking as much tea as humanly possible.

Find her all over the internet: *Website * Mailing list * Magpie Editing * Amazon * Tumblr * Mastodon *Facebook * Medium * Twitter  * OG Blog* Instagram * Paypal.me * Ko-fi

#hol #house of leaves #wtnv #horror #read alikes #ursula vernon #scifmagpie #book report #book rec

[theygender]

The more I learn about judaism the more I wonder where tf christianity got all its bad shit. Why is divorce a sin in christianity when judaism has recognized the right to divorce for nearly a millennia and has codified religious laws for it. Why does christianity consider sex to be dirty (to the point where puritans considered it a sin to enjoy having sex with your own spouse) when in judaism it's considered holy and it's a literal mitzvah to have sex with your spouse on the sabbath. Why does christianity consider it a sign that you're faithless if you question your religion when in judaism that's considered an essential part to developing your faith. I'm probably stating the obvious here but I still can't get over the fact that there's no historical basis to any of this shit before christianity started, it's like christians just said "hey guys what if we took the torah and built a new religion around it but this time it was actively hostile to human life"

#rambling #disclaimer this isnt about individual christians im speaking about the religious trauma i experienced in my own life etc etc #these are just a few examples that I've noticed but they're definitely something #the part about sex in particular shocked me bc sex is pretty much viewed as actively evil in a lot of christian denominations #like you should only do it to create children and if you take pleasure in it (even if its with your own spouse) youre a dirty sinner #there arent as many examples like this nowadays but if you read puritan laws about sex it's like #you're allowed to have sex with your wife basically 10 times a year but you have to be fully clothed with the lights off #and you cant have sex on a holiday or a sunday and you cant touch each other and you have to try as hard as possible to hate it #literally WHERE did that mindset come from?? like for real #in judaism having sex with your spouse is basically considered a celebration of everything holy #and if you have sex on the sabbath (the holiest day in the jewish calendar—above every holiday) #its considered TWICE as holy #make it make sense #this is one of the things people mean when they say that lumping judaism in with christianity as 'abrahamic' religions is meaningless #theyre literally nothing alike #the only similarity is the torah but thats only half of the christian bible and one third of the jewish one #AND christianity interprets most of it completely differently from how judaism does #im tired #greatest hits #hall of fame

[stoneshipper]

when I first started self-shipping: maybe this character would like me back. we’re sorta dating. oh, and maybe I’d be friends with this character? they might find me annoying…

me now: this character would always have my back. we’re friends until the end of the line. multiple characters have unrequited crushes on me. my f/o has dedication to me like no one’s seen before. we’re madly in love. we’re best friends. we’re soulmates. it’s even deeper than that.

#it’s wild to see the growth in how I’ve selfshipped now #because reading some old s/i and lore docs I wrote out is so strange now #I use such hesitant language when it comes to how my f/os feel toward me - romantic and platonic #and now I’m more comfortable making my s/i adored by friends and romantic connections alike #self ship #self shipping #self ship positivity #self ship community #self shipping community

[aquaticflames]

Cal may have started off shy, but Obi-wan was pretty sure that was purely based on walking in to find his thesis advisor face down on his desk.

short panel strip for @shortcuts-make-long-delays's cwrb fic 'sourdough: flour, water, and starting over' which, as well as being a hilariously clever and super adorable codywan piece, has this mentorship scene between Cal & Obi-Wan that made me positively melt.

#for u kit !!!!!! 💞💞💞🫶 #🏵️ #because you're such a sweetheart #i told you already but i really was smiling so much reading this scene 🥹 #aqua's art fart #aqua.jpg #sw #codywan #for the tagged fic! #cal kestis #obi-wan kenobi #bitches rly do love taking the mentor mentee pair that looks vaguely alike #and are alive at the same time in the franchise to throw them into a padawanship dynamic that is so so endearing #(its me im bitches. ty kit) #500 #1000

[hexjulia]

It's such a mervyn peake dead rat poem morning

One of the poems ever.

#when i first read this poem i was like oh we feel alike and then i loved his writing

[handsomelyerin]

claudia & lestat + on mothers and daughters

"my infant death. it was never you." bailey bass & sam reid in interview with the vampire (2022) cr. by rolin jones // 1. this post // 2. this post // 3. piss river - kevin morby // 4. a mother's hate - sam gordon // 5. elektra - sophocles // 6. on earth we're briefly gorgeous - ocean vuong // 7. unknown // 8. nayyirah waheed // 9. susan smith - wych elm // 10. unknown // 11. elektra - sophocles // 12. the ghost is dead, long live the ghost - mara avoth // 13. this post // 14. this post // 15. love drought - beyonce // 16. confessions - ijeoma umebinyuo // 17. unknown // 18. mother - john lennon

#like he quite literally brought her into the world #he's her mother #it was giving lady bird meets sharp objects meets some other secret third thing #the fact that they were so alike yet could never read each other's minds #she ached for him to love him unconditionally like louis #and i believe that lestat was genuinely fond of her in those easy times as claudia called them #but once she became too much of a mirror of himself that's when he pulled away #and also bc she was slowly pulling louis away from him #just really a fucked up and tragic dynamic #interview with the vampire #web weaving #lestat de lioncourt #claudia de pointe du lac #amc iwtv #edit: thank you for the notes! #edit: officially complete with the finale #and with sources

[overchromatic]

I have a headcanon that Ichiya and Goggles are brothers.

#splatbands #coroika #front roe #ichiya #goggles coroika #fanart #doodles #man. they don't even look alike or anything i was just like 'THEYRE BOTH BLUE!!! THEY ARE RELATED' #regardless i think its a fun dynamic. also idk anything about coroika sorry #ive been wanting to read it but idk where its available and im too lazy to go looking

[landwriter]

hob gadling being so goddamn normal compared to his anthropomorphic husband, in-laws, and husband's social circle that he circles right back around to being the more sus/shady one OR hob gadling keeps accidentally derailing dream's attempts to be King of Nightmares by horny vibes/going "joke's on you, i'm into it"/"promise?" to any and all threats

Hob isn't normal, is the thing. He's not. He never was. He was smouldering with strangeness and hunger long before his future sister-in-law took one look at him and decided he'd be good for her little brother.

He asked her, once, bit drunk, if that was why she chose him: if she'd heard him forswearing her in the White Horse and looked at him, peered into the contents of his soul, and thought: well, there's one at least as stubborn as my brother - maybe they'll be good for each other. She'd just smiled and waited for Hob to take another sip before saying, "Good? I just thought it would be interesting," and twinkled at him when he sputtered. Hob said older sisters were terrors, and they'd toasted to that.

Whether she'd intended or not, they were good for each other, him and Dream. It took them a little bit to realize, a small handful of centuries holding one another at arm's length for fear of what would be seen any closer. Then they'd crashed together anyways, and it had turned out they were matched not just in that bloody-minded stubbornness to keep a decent thing going, but also in all the intensity they'd tried to smother to do so, the roaring hunger and devotion and need; the both of them strange creatures capable of giving so much and greedy enough to take just as much in kind.

On the outside, though, others see Dream, his distance, his power, the thunder of his voice, and don't see it as the armour it is, the necessary carapace protecting the sort of tender feelings that could scorch the entire earth, because he is a vessel for human emotions that are strong enough to live on in stories and dreams, because he is, in that respect, - and Hob gets choked up about this, if he allows himself to think about it too much - fundamentally more human than him, than all of them, the embodiment of every fantasy and fear and tall tale of men, tending to them each night, taking no rest for himself.

On the outside, others see Hob, his banal humanness, and other humans assume the rest of him is the same, and so do most non-humans, except they're baffled by it, baffled by why he is Dream's husband. So he plays it up, because it's funny, and if they're too incurious or gullible to figure out what lays beneath, then that's alright, because his husband figured it out, and loves him for it, and that's all he needs.

Dream didn't understand at first why Hob acted extra human whenever they mingled with other capital-e Entities and inhuman sorts, but now he finds it so amusing as well that Hob wonders how the gig isn't up from the moment anyone sees his twitching smirk. His husband has a terrible poker face, Hob thinks.

He's much better at pretending. In fact, he's so good at performing the petty normality expected of him that it goes full circle and becomes, somehow, magnetically strange to all the fantastical creatures in his husband's social circle.

He had not realized the heady effect of normal human upon non-humans until the time he had gone to a Samhain 'do in the Underhill, in his formal role as Prince Consort to the Lord Morpheus, Dream of the Endless, first of his name, et cetera, and, rather comfortable with those sort of events by then, which were really not that dissimilar to interdepartmental faculty parties, with all the posturing and alcohol, only far better outfits, had, a bit soused on the fantastic elphin mead, accidentally started talking with a member of the faerie delegation about the football tables. At first he thought he'd committed a faux pas when the faerie just stared at him, slack-jawed, but later that night, he'd found himself surrounded by a cluster of wide-eyed dryads and undine and fae, gratifyingly holding court on why Billy Wright had been such a shite Arsenal manager. Apparently, it was the highlight of the evening.

It also helps grease the wheels of immortal statecraft, which Hob thinks of as something of a secondary benefit to making his husband smile. He would be a fierce bodyguard and soldier for Dream, in a heartbeat, he would curry favour on his behalf with pretty words and eager gladhanding, but what works out best, he's realized, is when important folk approach them to talk shop with Dream, to head it off with warm conversation about things like Tube construction, ABBA, and sausage rolls, until they look thoroughly disconcerted, before gracefully handing them off to his husband.

Whenever the occasion allows it, he'll skip on the finery too (another thing, he thinks, that he only cares about his husband seeing). Once, a baku ambassador, himself arrayed in glorious golden robes that matched his sharp gilt claws, had been so baffled by Hob's appearance on the arm of Dream, in his ratty old jeans and a United jersey he got as a gag gift once (and, on principle, refuses to wear in the Waking) that the chimera had absently agreed with Dream's suggestion for revised quotas on devouring nightmares.

Dream had been so delighted by that victory that he'd pressed Hob up against the front door of their flat in Islington, the moment they got back in, and laid kisses all over the hideous jersey, murmuring that Hob was a fearsome diplomat, and Hob had laughed and said he was only a distraction, then let Dream drag him to the bedroom anyways to thank him for his contribution.

Some see what's underneath, of course, and Hob's just as glad for that too.

The second time they'd had dinner with Crowley and Aziraphale, well past the food and making excellent headway on the rest of the wine, Dream had been called away on urgent business. Hob thought the night would end there, but the moment Dream left, Crowley had leveled an unsober finger of accusation at Hob and said, "Don't think I can't tell what you're doing."

Hob hadn't needed to try and look confused, but then Crowley leaned in and said, conspiratorially and only accidentally hissing a little, "This 'regular bloke' thing, but you're worssse than him, aren't you? Bet you are. Bet anything," and Aziraphale had genuinely emitted a tiny gasp of affront on Hob's behalf, and Hob was too busy laughing to say that he wasn't wrong at all, while Crowley gleefully swiveled around and said "I told you so, angel. S'obvious. Humansss. Not a normal one among 'em."

It was a lovely thing to say, actually, and all too easy for Hob to forget sometimes, being a particularly abnormal human leading a particularly abnormal life. But Crowley knew what he was talking about. He spent far more time with humanity compared to most of the inhuman lot. When Hob had made him promise to keep his secret from the rest of them - humanity's secret, really - and explained why, Crowley had laughed and laughed and laughed. He thinks it's the moment they became proper friends.

Hob isn't normal, is the thing.

But it's fun to don it like ceremonial garb and be an ambassador of humanity twice over: in truth and performance both. It's fun to be exactly what's expected and still disconcert.

And most of all, it's fun to go back home with his husband, to their terribly normal human flat, and curl up together in their terribly normal human bed, and watch Dream's face flush with pride or amusement as he debriefs Hob on what chaos he's wrought this time, intentionally or otherwise, with his terribly normal human presence, and Hob just laughs, then smiles until his face hurts, because Dream is his husband, wholly apart from humanity and still the most human creature Hob has met, and he knows all the ways that Hob feels like both, too.

#dreamling #the sandman #asks #hob gadling #dream of the endless #my writing #prompt fill #he IS normal in a lot of ways too but you know unreliable narrator #weaponizing ur banality against the eldritch and fantastical #mostly bc ur husband finds it funny #new headcanon: crowley and hob are absolutely best mates #little feral creatures who understand the horrors and delights of humankind alike #hedonists who love modern inventions and distrust large bureaucracies #whose luddite partners are very lovely but fundamentally would rather be in a library reading old books

[flashdoesahundredyarddash]

Under blue moon, I saw you 🦇

#who is up thinking about cass cain guys.. #actually... this is a design for my au im making rn... #reading batgirl 2000 btw... #her design has a lot more bat coded traits #alike the bruce in my au... he also has the bat ears instead of the pointy look.. #biomimicry designs i tell you!!!! #cass cain #cassandra cain #uhmm idk what else to tag #speedster art #i drew this recently but i am trying to keep my tumblr up to date.. #more art soon (<-- this dude literally has hal jordan parallax fanart rn that is about to be uploaded...stay tuned..) #guys she is sooo cool #i love the way shes designed in my au because her suit is different too #anyways..uhmmuhmhmhum i love colors and i love coloring digital pieces thank you goodbye :33 #my art

[tschulijulesjulie]

Joey Batey: I don't read fan theories

also Joey Batey: Jaskier would have an Only Fans. he's also the Taylor swift of the continent, pass it on.

#are you sure you dont read fan theories joey?!?! #or rather fanfics? #hmm? #🧐 #or do great minds really just think alike #joey batey #jaskier #the witcher

[cerealbishh]

"The world's lucky to have you."

#ffvii remake #ffvii rebirth #ffvii rebirth spoilers #zack fair #aerith gainsborough #zack x aerith #zerith #biggs #wedge #briana white #caleb pierce #ff7redit #ffviiedit #zackfairedit #aerithgainsboroughedit #zerithedit #just wanted to make a gifset with zerith talking to/motivating avalanche members they barely know #i know aerith hardly has any scenes with wedge but still... #also their speech read as sort of similar to me? idk #there's at least one more gifset of them talking to biggs and wedge that i wanna make #just genuinely good people trying to do their best to help #i know biggs was the only one to say that quote but i feel like wedge might've thought something along those lines #look i'm a multi-shipper but i just think that personally this is zack and aerith's best match? #they're alike in so many ways but they bring out different sides of each other and i just think that that's beautiful #aerti is the second best aerith ship to me #but like... CLOSE second #what can i say? zerith gives me rapunzel and eugene vibes a little! #it's the rotating camera in both scenes for me too #pardon me i can't color correct these scenes for shit...

[comixandco]

the juxtaposition of the religious debate over empty graves and whether those who die at sea will reach heaven with the demeter drifting near the coast with only 4 of its crew left omg dracula daily

#dracula daily #idk i just think it’s neat #how we’re reading it in an unintended way and yet there’s still a lot of literary devices happening???? it’s cool #but then again i’ve not read dracula the intended way maybe these are in the same chapter and are meant to be juxtaposed #but idk it’s cool #like going from ‘there are four of us left we can’t even man the boat fully anymore and it’s too foggy to see how close we are to help’ #to a talk about how the graves are empty in the graveyard how they need to be in the churchyard(?) to get to heaven(?) #just amplifies how doomed and helpless the crew of the demeter are #that the dead and the alive alike are both out of reach

[redriotinggg]

I may be in the minority here but I like to think that Usopp’s appearance (pre and post ts) has never been a source of insecurity for him. I think that Usopp loves his nose because it reminds him of his mom. He loves his brown skin and his curly hair! His thick eyebrows and big lips and round eyes help him make lots of cool expressions when he’s telling a story. Plus, Kaya used to always compliment his long lashes, so he’s come to love those, too. He knows he got hot during his two years on Boin and he owns it. Usopp has a lot of self-esteem issues, but that boy wouldn’t consider himself ugly.

#usopp #god usopp #one piece usopp #one piece #i’ve read sooooo many fics where usopp alludes to being ugly/unattractive and i’m like HNNNNNG #while i suppose that it is in character for him i think i just want him to be confident in that one lil thing #esp bc people (friends and foes alike) are constantly commenting on his appearance/nose i like to think he’s immune to those comments #‘oh this nose? the nose gifted to me by the most wonderful woman in the world? the nose that can track down a scent 100km away? #tldr LET USOPP BE HOT AND CONFIDENT

[vero-niche]

i still couldn't say with 100% certainty who the dad is

#screaming WHY DID THEY MAKE THEM LOOK THE SAME WHEN ITS PLOT RELEVANT?? #i finished the first episode on friday fully believing kazuki was his actual dad #then i was reading the posts on tumblr and thats when i saw i was mistaken #but we saw the malewife slutting around and the reaction checked out too??? and they literally look the same 😭 #i only realized that kazuki's eyes are a bit darker and his hair stands a little different while 'editing' this meme #anyway. please enjoy my first contribution to the fandom lol #buddy daddies #edit: i been informed that miri needs to believe that he is his dad so they had to look alike #whoops forgot about the kid not being head empty lol

[goeasyonjude]

A Little Life, rage & tenderness

#a little life #alittlelife #jude st francis #willem ragnarsson #jb marion #harold stein #when i read the quote above i immediately think about jude and jb but in different ways #jude and jb are so alike but are two sides of a coin #their biggest difference is that jb still expects and demands love and jude has accepted the absence of it

[twst-mer]

マレレオ union birthday

#leona kingscholar #malleus draconia #malleleo #malleus x leona #twst #twisted wonderland #i didnt openly ship these two until after union birthday leona story dropped #that interview malleus did with leona changed me #what i expected (jokingly): [explosions] #what i got: [mutual respect] #malleus KNOWS what leona is into #their fanon ship dynamic Shifted when everyone found out #leona genuinely loves this gift from malleus and he doesnt make it a secret at all #its an ancient book of spells and leona even recognizes the language is so old it isnt in common usage anymore #leona says mages and linguists alike would love to get their hands on this kind of thing (malleus wasnt aware the language was that old LOL) #malleus recommends leona read it because he has it back home in the castle library at briar valley and found it interesting #old man book club #(leona is 21 now and malleus is like 100+) #the book is so valuable leona actually got concerned that malleus might have went over budget for his birthday gift? #leona couldve just accepted the gift without thinking about it but it matters to him for some reason #they end up having a whole tangential conversation around how malleus got his hands on this for leona #leona teases about whether malleus had attendants go with him to the antique bookstore #malleus is like of course not and leona is like good i like walking around and shopping on my own too #leona) especially because its in my nature to be considerate in many ways. i'd feel guilty making anyone wait up for me #malleus) oh thats the first i've heard of that. i seem to recall seeing savanaclaw students running in circles looking for you quite often. #and then they tease each other about who gives other students the worse hassle in searching for them #somehow malleus ends up like...i see now. you're here for the same reasons that i am. to experience what you cannot back home #and leona agrees) in as far as its more comfortable living here than at home you're not wrong. #they agree they have a lot in common and can empathize with each other #im still not over it