#recovering persecutor

[ididoktoday]

How we get better: a decidedly nonlinear and varied process

Maybe that suffering will slough off us like a crispy sunburn, peeling away gradually in its own time, protesting a timeline faster than its own intention. But slough it will.

Maybe that suffering will cling to us until the last second it’s allowed, like a sucking leech, our humors leaking messily and causing a real scene, relief and vulnerability entwined to tease apart later. But we’ll have time and headspace to do that work.

Maybe that suffering will be ripped off us like a warm blanket on an early winter morning, snatched away by a guiding figure who knows that what we need is more important than what we want, a figure who sighs down with love at our shivering legs. That figure knows a warm future for us that our eyes are not yet mature enough to see.

We are birthed in all sorts of ways. Let us treat each other as gently as newborns.

#self care #self love #mental health #therapyworks #recovery #positive mental attitude #kindness #spread kindness #kind notes to self #recovering people pleaser #mental illness recovery #trauma recovery #recovering alcoholic #recovering workaholic #recovering perfectionist #recovering #recovering addict #recovering from trauma #recovering from depression #recovering persecutor #never recovering #recovery is worth it #recovery is not linear #recovery is hard #recovery is possible #recovery is work #recovery inspiration #recovery intake #depression #social anxiety

[complexapparatus]

Here's a thing, right? As an alter who's still persecutor adjacent and deals with a lot of our anger issues, I get Really angry about posts that, to cut to the chase, aren't about me.

It's not something I'm proud of, but seeing a post about how it's okay not to switch for days or weeks when our system is lucky for a switch to last an hour is infuriating. Posts about not having fictives or having a low alter count make my skin crawl. They aren't relevant to me, they don't reflect my experiences, and that's upsetting.

And I'm allowed to be upset, yknow, feelings are feelings. But they're also Allowed to not be about me. Not everything is going to be about you and your experience and it's about learning that someone else having a different experience doesn't invalidate your own. It's hard! And scary, and if you're quick to anger like I am, it's going to take a hot minute.

But acknowledging those feelings, addressing them directly and saying "hey, I know why you're scared, but we don't need to be." has been by far the best way I've found to deal with it. I feel like a lot of people could benefit from learning that not everything has to be about their experience in particular.

#complex.txt #system stuff #recovering persecutor #polyfrag system #actually plural #endo neutral #inclusive plural #also. don't be fucking weird about this post please? #i know its not a great reaction and I'm working on it. that's what this entire post is about. #okay? okay. cool.

[sc0rpi0sys]

understanding that i am actually obsessed to an unhealthy degree is an interesting experience. it helps to sober up however. and, its nice to have understanding people around

#Dream♏ #dsmp introject #recovering persecutor #system stuff

[cangel]

warning for non descript trauma talk

recovering as a persecutor is hard. so hard and nobody gives recovering persecutors nearly enough credit in my humble opinion.

as someone who's been through hell and back, you'd think there'd be more understanding from those around you. mostly referring to in system, but from the outside world as well. obviously trauma can't defend or justify your actions, but it helps explain them. yes, we should still be held to standards, but sometimes there needs to be more understanding amongst us when trauma survivors act like what they are, trauma survivors. i think it's definitely why for me personally ive been led to flock to other trauma holders and persecutors in my own system because we share a consensus and share the experiences that make us who we are.

and yes, i know, we're not all amazing people, not by a long shot, but we're hurt and still hurting to this day due to what we've gone through. nobody makes a full recovery in one day and i wish someone actually understood that and would look at the reasons behind my actions, not just the actions themselves. i wish some of my sysmates got why i act/acted the way i do. it's one of my only defense mechanisms. one of the only walls i can put up to keep myself safe from all the hell that i've experienced and keep reliving.

i feel like i'm rambling and sounding incoherent at best so i'm going to stop here but my point still stands

#jay.txt #recovering persecutor #did system #trauma talk #uugufhg im still learning how to tag stuff bear with me

[million-with-a-b]

this is a stigmatized alter appreciation post.

If you are a morally grey alter I love you.

If you are an alter with a love for/aesthetic consisting of gore or the macabre I love you

If you are an alter who has killed someone in source/exo memories I love you

If you are an alter that was considered evil in source/exo memories I love you

If you are an alter who experiences intrusive thoughts I love you

If you are an alter with anger issues I love you

If you are an alter who has been told they are "too mean" I love you

If you are an alter that comes across as cold or aloof I love you

If you are an alter that doesn't like anyone outside of your system, I love you

If you are an alter that doesn't get along with your system I love you

If you are an alter that self harms or isolates I love you

If you are an alter who is struggling with addiction or has in the past, I love you

If you are an alter that gets upset about change, I love you

If you are an alter that snaps or breaks down easily, I love you

If you are an alter that has attempted suicide in the body, I love you

If you are a protector or persecutor or trauma holder , etc that is often mislabeled as "dangerous" or "evil" or "bad," I love you. I see you. Give yourself some credit and well-deserved patience; you're just as deserving of love as the rest of your system.

(If you think that this doesn't apply to any alters in your system. That's fine. Im not going to pretend to know whats best for your system. But please don't derail this post with rants about that.

We understand personally that not every alter can be healed. Sometimes the system just doesnt have the tools. This isn't about that. This is about alters that ARE healing, or struggling to. The ones that are often stigmatized or disliked because their healing process isn't as "palletable" compared to other alters.

Endos dni with this post

#This is a love letter to our protectors and recovering persecutors but I know it applies to other people so please feel free to rb<3 #did #osdd #dissociative system #sysblr #system things #traumagenic system #did osdd #anti endo #<- I don't usually use that tag but I REALLY don't want endos interacting with this post bc theyre usually VERY stigmatizing- #-towards these types of alters #So. #plural system #Long post #Suicide mention #System #(figuring out tags of this community bear with us </3)

[lanafemme]

the evolution of my self-perception over the course of a year…. this has been a HUGE part of recovery for me!

“i cant look like my body, i have to look ‘perfect’ and have zero identifiably jewish features” —> “its ok if i look like my body but only how i looked before i transitioned” —> “there is nothing wrong with my current body and i like living in it because it is mine!”

i wouldnt say that i have a separate “internal appearance” at all at this point, i just dont think of myself as “looking different” or having a separate form from my own body at all. i just live here! ofc i still have my personal style and wishes but i no longer divorce my concept of self from my body. i also finally finally feel my own real age, no longer permanently “stuck” at the age i was abused

#mine #osddid #did persecutor #recovered persecutor #i used to OBSESS over what i looked like iw or was ‘supposed’ to look like etc #simply Not Caring about that stuff and not separating it out is just. so freeing! #this is your sign that you dont HAVE to have an interal appearance if you dont want to!

[healingpolyphony]

Got the fucking Urges lads

#mmmh #angsty recovering persecutor shit I guess #saint.txt

[anti-endo-haven]

⚠️ sorry rant fueled by that anon you don't have to post this if you want that just really kind of ticked me off. tw fusing and dormancy mentions and lots of angry and frustration about this topic and mentions and descriptions of our personal experiences with fusion and dormancy that was not at all positive, even if as a result of healing

⚠️ VERY TIRED of the "don't tw/cw dormancy or fusion!! its HEALING!!" crowd. because while yes this is OFTEN the case you have to also realize that THIS. IS NOT THE EXACT SAME THING FOR EVERYONE. and both of these, HEALING OR NOT, can be incredibly distressing. both of these things can also happen as a result of extremely negative things. NOT just healing. two introject alters we had who were previously in a subsystem fused as a result of extreme stress and as a result of the other who was formerly a persecutor (janus) reforming and no longer needing the other (cesar) to stabilize and to reenact harm upon. they became incredibly close after the janus recovered and it was an incredibly stressful, painful process for janus full of grieving. tiny's mother in system was in and out of dormancy repeatedly for months as a result of extreme stress and trauma done to her, which horribly destabilized our system and resulted in tiny grieving and grieving and grieving!! fusion and dormancy can be A SCARY THING just because it can happen due to healing and often does DOES NOT MEAN it is always surrounded by and full of happy positive emotions. it can be TRAUMATIC. PLEASE stop invalidating people and what they need trigger/content warned christ

^^^^^^^^^

You can only spew your experiences but others have severe trouble and stress with dormancy and fusion, not everyone wants final fusion either. (/nay ⚠️)

Functional multiplicity is just as an okay a healing path as final fusion.

If people have trauma related to something that might be healing for others, let them take it at a pace right for them. Healing cannot be forced. And you cannot be the one to force it.

If someone is also healing and forcing themselves to get past it, it only makes matters worse. We still struggle with this and it has only made us worse for wear and hardly able to function.

#anti endo #endos dni #did system #system #actually did #osddid #traumagenic system #endos not for you #did plural #actually traumagenic #did plurality #osdd plural #tw dormancy mention #tw fusion mention #☎️

[mindotaur]

Considering strictly traumagenic/disordered plurality, I feel a lot of young systems are trapped in toxic cycles, whether they're stuck living with abusers or don't have the support they need to recover. When you do have that support and start crawling out of the hole caused by trauma, you start appreciating plurality a lot more - because in these cases that's often what saved you+ from descending into darker depths.

That's of course reductive when considering untreated persecutor alters and ongoing adult trauma, but at least for us there was a moment of "oh, this is actually a good thing". Do we still have stressful cycles of rapid switching, flashbacks, triggers that send us spiraling? Sure, but we've learned how to work together to get through that and recover each time it happens, and it's been happening less and less.

#plurality #dissociative identity disorder #pluralgang #traumagenic system #plural community #plural #endo safe

[pluralcultureis]

As I'm sure many of you saw, we had an alter make a post about how he hates endos.

In this post he says "fucking die, you don't deserve spaces"

We apologize for this deeply. While none of us support endos, or are happy with endos existing in general, we do Not support the idea of spreading hate in the way Constantine did.

If we disagree, we prefer to block. We do not condone telling people we don't like to kill themselves, or to die.

Our aim is to be civil.

Constantine is an protector, persecutor, and an anger holder. This will often lead to him saying very harsh words because he believes it's what is best for the system.

He does not speak for all of us, and we are actually working quite hard to try and get him to be able to be more calm about things.

This is not an attempt to excuse his actions, merely just explaining it.

Typically when he fronts we have an emotional regulater with him, or at the very least someone to tell him not to say or post certain things.

We had a very bad flashback episode last night and are still recovering, which lead to him fronting on his own.

This is something we want to avoid in the future, and again deeply apologize to those hurt by his words.

We do not want to wish death on anyone, even if their opinions differ from our own.

#this may not make a lot of sense #as we are still fairly blurry and attempting to calm down #but we wanted this to be out as soon as possible #endos dni #osdd #pdid #did #did system #osddid #pdid system #actually did #traumagenic #actually dissociative

[sysboxes]

[Text: This persecutor is tired of people hating them for what they did and is trying to recover.]

Like/Reblog if you save or use!

#userbox #this user #system #system stuff #traumagenic system #did #osdd #anti endo #endos dni

[ghira-is-here-to-listen]

Supervising a persecutor alter and his side blog. If I follow or like any persecutor related content, it's likely our persecutor doing it and not me. He's still figuring himself out and hopefully attempting to recover and do better. If said alter causes problems, please contact me directly. I will handle him.

Just posting this to reach out to anyone who needs to vent.

I am Ghira Belladonna. An alter in a system, and I am said system’s self designated therapist. I’m also a soother, protector, and caregiver.

You may vent and rant to me all you’d like in asks, just so long as you keep it strictly anonymous.

Everyone may vent and rant regardless of their stance on syscourse. I will keep my stance private and will not let it interfere with my responses to asks.

At the end of every ask, I request that you finish your vent/rant with an emoji corresponding to a specific response that you want from me.

- Advice

- Comfort

- No Response/Only Wanted Me To Listen.

On a final, important note, I can only reply to asks when I front in the system. I may not front very often, but I promise that I will read your vents. What you have to share matters to me. I also have the right to not reply to certain asks. I will read what you say, but if I deem I am not ready to tackle it or don’t know what to say about it, I will not share/post the ask. But it WILL be read.

Anon List/Sign Offs/Proxies Below The Cut:

(none currently)

#vent blog #vent to me #rant blog #rant to me #feel free to vent #sysblr #system #plural system #system stuff #system things #plural #plural community #plurality #pluralgang #plural stuff #therapist alter #unlicense therapist #therapist friend

[circular-bircular]

Sup! I’m not a part of the whole be nice to persecutors squad, but I do rehabilitate persecutors sometimes as an ex-persecutor myself and I would like to hear your thoughts on my opinions (genuinely I am open to change. Ik I'm harsh). This is going to be a long one and I’m sorry if I sound dismissive of other feelings it’s more of a how it all feels to me.

This is all persecutor discussion that may be upsetting. Please read with caution or delete from your inbox as you see fit.

So yes of course persecutors should not be treated like monsters they are a part of a system. They are people (or whatever word refers best to one’s conscious collective) and they deserve love and respect like anyone else. So are the people they hurt though. I feel that’s really forgotten in this positivity around the guy that hurts people.

So in my villain era I just chose to be an asshole. I was pissed at the system and wanted to make their lives hell. Letting me front was a mistake I was purposefully off putting around our friends (no they didn’t bloody deserve it I knew what I was doing. I also wasn’t mean I was off putting, to be clear). I wasn’t a confused protector. I wasn’t protecting us. I made the conscious decision and effort to hurt or disturb anything I came into contact with because I was mad. Not all persecutors are like this but my annoyance is at the whole persecutor positivity that includes people like me.

I didn’t change because the system was nice to me. I wouldn’t have changed because someone got me an ice cream or sympathised with me (and they tried) I changed because I happened to be fronting one night and someone was vulnerable in front of us. I’d been nothing but an asshole up until them but I was trusted because in that moment I wanted to change and trusting that I would try I was allowed to. I masked and helped the guy.

That’s not advice btw that’s just, what happened. No one being nice to me or trying to get me to change made me change it was having room for the decision to change that changed me. Getting mad at me for being an ass, making me say sorry for being an ass and treating me like someone who was an ass didn’t stop me from recovery. I whole heartedly believe that you don’t owe all persecutors kindness.

I was reforming a dipshit and I’ve been nothing but kind to her and she was still a dipshit. She understood she was being a dipshit but was fulfilling a role she thought had to be fulfilled and while I slowly undid that the person she was “tasked” with being a dipshit toward was allowed to be angry and upset and hurl insults back. You should be allowed to feel like you’re protecting yourself.

And finally my most controversial statement. System jail is fine. Locking up parts of your system for being assholes isn’t good for them but when you can no longer take the constant abuse or you have too many other problems that’s fine. I don’t understand the weird obsession with being nice to the bully. In my experience that wont stop em and sometimes there is no space to give them room to change all you can do is protect yourself until there is space.

I’m not a persecutor hater. I’m just an internet guy that says the online advice f being nice ignores the people that get hurt. It’s a nuanced and individual situation. Internet advice does not fix that. I am nice when there’s room to be nice and I believe that prosecutors will heal but the shit they fucking did should not be overlooked.

& If any recovering persecutors are reading this. I see you. You’re on a difficult path. You deserve love and respect and to live life.

This wasn't one of the eaten asks, but I've honestly been trying to work out how to respond to this for a long time. I'm gonna try and break this down for myself. And by that I mean, here's Debbie with the weather.

So yes of course persecutors should not be treated like monsters they are a part of a system. They are people (or whatever word refers best to one’s conscious collective) and they deserve love and respect like anyone else. So are the people they hurt though. I feel that’s really forgotten in this positivity around the guy that hurts people.

Absolutely, anon. The people we've hurt need to be rewarded for the shit they've survived from us. I was a complete and absolute bitch, and I apologize for how much of a bitch I was -- but not for the reasons why I was a bitch. I'm not going to apologize for my trauma. For any persecutors reading this, nobody here is asking you to apologize for who you are. We're just saying, acknowledging that you hurt someone is a good place to start.

So in my villain era I just chose to be an asshole. I was pissed at the system and wanted to make their lives hell. Letting me front was a mistake I was purposefully off putting around our friends (no they didn’t bloody deserve it I knew what I was doing. I also wasn’t mean I was off putting, to be clear). I wasn’t a confused protector. I wasn’t protecting us. I made the conscious decision and effort to hurt or disturb anything I came into contact with because I was mad. Not all persecutors are like this but my annoyance is at the whole persecutor positivity that includes people like me.

Anon, take this whatever way you want, but that to me sounds like protecting your system. I purposefully made myself unpleasant to be around. I fucked with my friends and purposefully pissed them off, not "to protect us UwU" but because they were fucking stupid to be friends with these idiots. The other fuckers in my head were weak, pathetic, and pointless. I pretended to be other parts, just to pull the rug out from under my friends, because god was it easy to, and it was absolutely hilarious to see their reactions. I tortured my other parts innerworld, because god was it fun to make them realize just how pathetic they were, just how much better I was than them. My goal was to get the other parts to kill themselves (what I understood as dormancy after some time) and let me just take charge, because I wanted to live.

And yeah. That's me protecting my system.

Because the more I bashed us, the more I said, "let me take over because I'm better than you," the more I pushed away all my friends... It was the more I "kept us safe" from getting hurt from the outside. Rice won't be hurt if she doesn't exist. Rice won't break down from trauma memories if fill her brain with trauma memories 24/7. Rice won't lose her friends and break down if she has no friends to begin with.

I didn't do that on purpose, of course. I didn't look to help these assholes. I wanted them GONE. But now that I'm reformed, now that I can look back at what a mess I actually was, instead of the perfect being I thought I was, I can understand that all of that was my misguided way of protecting us. Even if I didn't understand that at the time.

I made that conscious decision to hurt, and it was influenced by the unconscious decision to protect.

Now, maybe you really were just a pissy lil bitch who wanted to hurt people, whatever, I really couldn't care less about you. But at the end of the day, alters in DID systems split for a reason -- to cope with trauma and make it bearable to survive through. So regardless of what edgy pre-teen bullshit you're spouting, if you're an alter, you're a form of protector in some way. At least in my eyes.

I didn’t change because the system was nice to me. I wouldn’t have changed because someone got me an ice cream or sympathised with me (and they tried) I changed because I happened to be fronting one night and someone was vulnerable in front of us. I’d been nothing but an asshole up until them but I was trusted because in that moment I wanted to change and trusting that I would try I was allowed to. I masked and helped the guy.

Cool! Glad you worked your shit out. I started getting better because someone was really fucking mean to me. I mean, I had food poisoning, was running out of the room to vomit, and my friend still sat me down for like a 2 hour or so lecture about how I was a fucking awful person and she wouldn't stop lecturing me until I shaped the fuck up and understood why she thought I was bad. That fucking BROKE me.

Being nice to your persecutor is one way. Torturing them after fucking cafeteria mozzarella stick induced food poisoning is another. To each their own, y'know? (Side note, I know you don't follow me here bby but I love you, thank you for slapping the shit out of past me with your words and anger <3)

That’s not advice btw that’s just, what happened. No one being nice to me or trying to get me to change made me change it was having room for the decision to change that changed me. Getting mad at me for being an ass, making me say sorry for being an ass and treating me like someone who was an ass didn’t stop me from recovery. I whole heartedly believe that you don’t owe all persecutors kindness.

I wholeheartedly believe nobody is owed kindness. Kindness is a choice I make -- one that can easily be decided against if it is no longer beneficial to be kind. I owe no loyalty to kindness. I choose to be kind, because why the fuck wouldn't I be, you fucking idiot?

I was reforming a dipshit and I’ve been nothing but kind to her and she was still a dipshit. She understood she was being a dipshit but was fulfilling a role she thought had to be fulfilled and while I slowly undid that the person she was “tasked” with being a dipshit toward was allowed to be angry and upset and hurl insults back. You should be allowed to feel like you’re protecting yourself.

Ok but that was a kind thing to do. Like. That's what I mean when I say to be kind to your persecutors. Letting them BE ANGRY IS A GOOD THING???? So confused why this isn't seen as being kind. You took the time out of your fucking schedule to help give that person a space to be upset and angry. That's kindness. That was a choice.

And finally my most controversial statement. System jail is fine. Locking up parts of your system for being assholes isn’t good for them but when you can no longer take the constant abuse or you have too many other problems that’s fine. I don’t understand the weird obsession with being nice to the bully. In my experience that wont stop em and sometimes there is no space to give them room to change all you can do is protect yourself until there is space.

God you're so fucking hilarious tbh.

Yeah, sure, whatever, system jail is fine, esp in cases like. Where you're still in an abusive situation. That's because you're allowed to make mistakes, and system jail is a mistake. It's perfectly valid and fine while also being really fucking awful and stupid.

The "weird obsession" with being nice to the bully isn't "it will stop them." It's "that's an entire ass part of yourself, stop fucking airing your self-hatred out in public for everyone to see, it's nauseating."

TL;DR: Being kind to your persecutors is a choice. Obviously, it's not one you HAVE to make, but it's highly suggested. The issue is, "kindness" looks different for everyone. For me, it was "kind" to have someone do the equivalent of a guttural scream for 2 hours. For others, it's fru-fru shit that makes them feel all warm and fuzzy. For you, it was just giving someone the time and space to be angry. Making mistakes is okay. Do what you want forever and who even gives a shit? And FFS, OBVIOUSLY, LET'S NOT IGNORE THE VICTIMS OF OUR ABUSE. (But yknow, let's not ignore the fact that persecutors are also victims of abuse and they get blamed for literally every fucking thing jfc).

#Shadows In The Petunia Garden #Persecutors #Syscourse #I imagine I was incredibly rude here #But whatever #asks #anon

[sophieinwonderland]

“As MPD was recognized, this gave rise to the evil alter trope. But that trope wasn't new. It just evolved from existing pluralphobia. It was a mental illness equivalent to demonic possession. The problem with demonic possession stories of any kind is that they inherently stigmatize multiplicity and all experiences of multiple agents sharing a body. It doesn't actually matter what it's about because it all contributes to pluralphobia.”

I’ve also noticed that modern attempts to distance plurality from horror tropes involves insisting that “evil alters” universally don’t exist. And how certain fakeclaimers use to say ‘if you identify with having evil alter(s) you’re inherently faking,’ which… is a problem.

I almost wish there were parts of the plural and multiplicity community that were open to validating headmates/alters who presented as evil demons without trying to immediately force them to re-examine who they are in relation to helping the body exist or whatnot (idk how else to conceptualise how system roles are talked about within both communities, I get that not everyone conceptualises it this way this is just what makes sense to me as someone who used to have system roles and now doesn’t).

Is this a thing?

I mean, I know if a persecutor who views themselves as a demon is presenting a threat of harm to the body or to others, that behavior probably needs to be addressed to help the systems recover.

I haven't seen a lot of hate directed at demon-identifying headmates though. But then, I suppose we don't have demons in our system, and are obviously not in DID/OSDD spaces where this sort of mentality might be more common.

#syscourse #sysblr #multiplicity #demons #demon #plurality #plural #pro endo #pro endogenic #actually endogenic #endogenic #tulpa #actually plural #plural community

[korya-elana]

Warning: Long post ahead, if people have horse-trauma they may decline to read. Also a warning that we have an alter created to enjoy pain and we go vaguely into that here.

So. A few days ago, I fell off my spooked horse. We are fine, I'm a professional and I know how to fall. But the way it was handled was ... entirely new.

Dummy horse was getting coltish despite his old age (for non-horse people, it means he's getting super energetic and amped up, often due to warming weather and stall boredom during cold season when they can't roam the field) and a noise on the roof startled him right after he'd switched directions and I fell sideways clutching the saddle while the horse ran. And at that point I lost front.

I have zero visual memory. Zero emotional memory. But I remember that Sharps came to front, which is typical since it's our Physical Protector. But so did our Persecutor, Jasper.

If anyone's followed our journey, they know that Jasper has a very ... complicated relationship with the rest of us and spent a few years in The Cells due to being uncompromising in putting us in direct and severe danger until they decided recently to try being "good".

It's so strange, being there but having no control. Hearing but not seeing. They discussed the possible repercussions of keeping hold of the saddle (i.e. the horse starting to buck, ramming us into a wall, the saddle slipping down the side, etc. since he didn't stop after spooking like we expected him to) and the possible risks of dropping the less-than-two-feet off the floor (i.e. we could be trampled, we might spook the other horse being ridden in the arena by a minor, rolling the wrong way and not just getting trampled but tripping and seriously injuring the horse as well, etc.).

Then they came to a simultaneous plan, set a countdown and dropped us. We rolled swiftly off to the opposite side, completely safe if really bruised and sore (as we are still recovering). This all took less than 20 seconds.

We then proceeded to stand up, reassure the minor we were fine, snatch the reins from the now-stopped horse and give it a stern talking-to, and start the cool-down process.

It's rare enough these days that we are in a position that Sharps fronts anyways so that was a scarcity on that account alone. But Jasper has never been given permission to front without his Guard Kell. And they didn't care. They just fronted to get the job done. Their reasoning?

A shrug and "I can't enjoy anything if we're dead." And then they willfully put himself back under guard.

As it was he took care of the intense adrenaline after our fall and most of the initial pain. I'm left to get us through recovery but like ... this is so new. This is such a new part of them that we've never seen before.

From trying to actively get us trafficked/trying to hire someone into torturing us to literally and actively helping to save our life. Guess they really are making an effort.

~Em

#did osdd #did system #system #plurality #alters #system things #plural #didsystem #dissociative amnesia #emotional amnesia #visual amnesia #persecutors #protectors #persecutors turning around #system cooperation

[sugarfreesyscourse]

It's the year of 2023, can people stop treating their alters like they're less than people?

I hoped we would've left this mentality in 2016 but here I am, 7 years later, making this post.

Let me elaborate on what I mean. For one, I think it's very important for systems to recognise their alters as parts of oneself. This isn't to say you have to be comfortable using parts language etc, but fundamentally you are all parts of one brain/all parts of one person- you share a body, you share a life.

I think people have been getting better with acknowledging this, there's less systems that are like "x and co" and rather acknowledge what each alter needs to function and recover, and there's more of a push to be healthy and cohesive. But not everyone follows this...

This is mostly directed at hosts. If you have an alter- even if you don't like them- you shouldn't ruin things for them with no regard for what they would think or want, or how they would react when they next front, if you do not have solid grounds to do so (eg said alter is self-harming in any emotional/physical/social way). If you are taking things away from your alters- other parts of you- for no reason, that's cruel. It's punishing and making your life more miserable and difficult. Why do it? Not to mention if it's relationships/friendships etc it's harming another external person but hey

This isn't talking about persecutors and persecutor mentality, that's a different kettle of fish. Persecutors typically re-enact abuse and trauma for primarily an internal impact. I'm talking more about, say, ruining alters friendships or relationships without their consent or knowledge, ruining their reputation and talking badly about them, or treating them as if they're an external abuser in persecutor cases (I can understand how it can feel this way, but again, if this persecutor is part of you harming you, it's self harm mirroring something traumatic that has happened to you).

Though if you're ruining things for another alter that would technically make you some form of persecutor, and if you're a host with the whole "host syndrome/that's my only role" deal going on you probably don't like that, huh? So stop doing it

If you're doing this to an alter, I encourage you to take a step back and look where your actions have gotten you, particularly if the alter you're hurting (accidentally or not) is one you depend on to survive.

You demand respect for alters to be treated like people in the community. Hold that up to your own alters, too. If you're mad at an alter for hurting you or treating you badly, don't punish them in this way or give them more reason to lash out at you. After all, you've probably been treated like that yourself, and I really doubt you liked it.

#syscourse #shouldn't even be syscourse but people are ignorant #did #osdd #actually did #actually osdd #actually traumagenic #did/osdd #persecutor