#s11 talk just wears me the fuck out

[gardenerian]

I laugh at how s11 is still this wary thing to talk about. At the end of the day s11 was so circus like I don’t think any “changes” that happened are even done properly where they pose truth or are what you have to believe. The whole thing is up to interpretation. And yes I think the writers clearly had a motive with stuff but then again they didn’t explain it. I’m usually one who has to side with canon but s11 canon is not explicit. Things we hated can easily been mistakes for Gallavich.

i just - sigh. i am of two minds when it comes to s11.

like. on the one hand - what a disservice, ya know? a disservice to the storytelling they used to be so capable of. to the characters, to their relationships.... to the themes that we cared so much about. not to say they always handled things as they should, but the decline in quality is obviously well-documented. what a shame for such a powerhouse of a show and cast. to go out like that? ouch. and, honestly - this has less (not nothing tho kasdhf) to do with ian and mickey. the rage just comes from an overwhelming DISAPPOINTMENT with how they dropped the ball for so many others - fiona and lip in particular. if i let myself, i can still get pissed.

but then again, who gives a fuck? who cares? the characters were already caricatures of themselves at this point, so why did we expect anything else? why does it matter? everyone did well enough, we know they're gonna be okay, and now they're ours. why must we discuss meaningless bullshit ad nauseam? i do not give a FUCK about 11x07, i barely give a fuck about 11x01. i just. don't care. there are plenty of other things about the later seasons i would rather talk about.

but for the most part, i don't like to discuss s11 much bc i don't think it serves us anymore? people get emotional and, honestly, they get kind of mean. at this point, think what you want about those storylines. they're yours now. there are still worthy conversations to be had about this show, its characters, and its stories. there are things to meta and explore, things worthy of our time. this.... ain't it. so bring on the fix-it fics and let's move the fuck on, yeah?

#is this mean? #am i being mean right now? #s11 talk just wears me the fuck out #it's not fun #and it just never ends askjdhf #i just think there are more worthy things! #and i don't like what the whole monogamy thing brings out in us kajsdhf it's unpleasant #and at this stage - again - who cares? #and for real #my beef with s11 has less to do with ian and mickey now #they were fucking annoying but the tragedy lies with lip imo #ANYWAYS NO NOT DOING I AM STOPPING NOW #BYE #I LOVE YOU #mel answers

[adultswim2021]

Tim And Eric Awesome Show, Great Job! #29: “Larry” | September 22, 2008 - 12:30AM | S03E09

A weak episode with some stuff in it I do like. We’re going to leave the meatiest segments for the end. 

First there’s Burps, which is sort of a rehash of Zits. This one has okay ideas, but isn’t really that funny. Tim burps while talking, and Eric asks him questions that inexplicably all have the word “rain” in the answers. It’s a real “spaghetti and meatballs” approach to comedy. That’s not a bad thing, it just didn’t bowl me over here. This recurs later in the form of outtakes where Eric is beside himself with laughter. It’s maybe a little silly to complain about DVD extras, but there’s even more of this stuff in the bloopers on the DVD. Enough!!!

There’s another Tairy Greene sketch that has some amusing moments, and I consider this one “funny enough”. The main idea, where Tairy is making an example of a wheelchair kid for no good reason, is a decent bit. 

Next is another guest star. It’s… Ugh, Rainn Wilson. He does the same bit Patton did a few episodes back of portraying a child singing a song about sexual matters. This one is about peeing in a girl’s mouth to make a baby.

Rainn Wislon is a wad, so I'll digress into childhood stories. Skip this paragraph if you want: I remember when I was little I used literally worry about the idea that a girl from school might hide in my toilet at home and wait for me to go pee, and then she’d wrap her mouth around my childish penis and impregnante herself, putting me at the forefront of a “with child” situation. At my tender age! In my imagination, it was shot like a scene in a movie trailer, set to “Bad to the Bone”, and her toilet prank would smash-cut to a Norman Rockwell-esque portrait of me, looking surprised to have a family. 

Okay, the wraparound segments are a continuation of the Carol and Mr. Henderson saga. This is, perhaps, the weakest of the Carol and Mr. Henderson sketches, but it eventually pays off. Instead of Mr. Henderson being cruel to Carol, they are now fully in love and in a relationship, and the jealous Larry is left licking his wounds, upset that his friend Mr. Henderson is spending too much time with Carol. It’s a tale as old as time. While Carol and Mr. Henderson do some french kissing (accomplished with a “digital snake tongues” added in post; a detail I think I literally never noticed until this watch), Larry sings a mournful song about how his friend left him for “a piece of cooze”, which had to be censored by the network with a bleep. 

The final scene in this sketch is also the final scene of the episode, where Larry just shows up to work with a gun. He shoots both Carol and Mr. Henderson, presumably dead, and then sticks the barrel of the gun in his out mouth and blows his own brains out. It’s hilariously grim and brutal. The twist is that both Carol and Mr. Henderson are wearing bullet proof vests, which begs the question: how the fuck did they anticipate this? Carol glibly states “this was fun.” mere feet away from Larry’s lifeless body. This is one of my favorite moments in the whole series! It’s the only great sketch in the whole episode!

Needless to say, it’s a little jarring that you can show a guy blow his brains out in a somewhat realistic, inimitable manner, but “cooze” needs to be bleeped. As with other Carol/Mr. Henderson sketches, there are plenty of outtakes and deleted material. We see Eric perform yet another one of his own stunts; keen readers of this blog will recall his brush with head-trauma in the first Carol sketch when Larry smashes a candy glass coffee pot over Carol’s head, which wound up cutting Eric through the wig. The stunt in this episode involved Eric diving in front of Larry’s bullet to save Mr. Henderson. In the blooper reel footage, you see him narrowly avoid banging his head directly into the cubicle desk. ERIC!!! WATCH IT!!!! 

EPHEMERA CORNER:

MAIL BAG

I can think of a lot of things that would get RC cancelled. S11 was the first season in a while to not get an emmy nomination, Lazzo's not around anymore to keep greenlighting it, It got over 3,000 sketches which is plenty stockpiled to live off of youtube views, anytime I saw people mention it online they were surprised it was still running, Seth Green's embarassing NFT debacle that even his own writers and other NFT guys made fun of him for, COVID (that's what killed Shivering Truth), etc.

Good call. I too was ignorant about Robot Chicken's status, but that was because I hated it. Lapsed fans being unclear on that detail is definitely a sign.

#adult swim #adultswim2021 #tim and eric awesome show great job #Youtube

[soyl4ndo]

PROMPT LIST

Here is my prompt list. You can either use these or your specific plot to request. Remember to add your requested driver and the corresponding letter and number if you use a prompt. I mainly write for: Lando Norris but I’ll take other driver requests if I’m not busy.

FLUFF F1. "I will walk you home." F2. "I want everything with you." F3. "You care too much for an idiot like me." F4. "Remind me why we waited so long?" F5. "I could spend forever in your arms." F6. Wait did you just ask me out?" F7. "Can I kiss you?" F8. "I can get used to this." F9. "Do we have to share a room?" F10. "Apparently we are dating." F11. "My clothes look better on you." F12. "You feel like home." F13. "Is this a date?" F14. "Is that my shirt?" F15. "Why are you being so nice?" F16. "I don't think I can be just your friend." F17. "I've waited so long for this." F18. "My friends made a bet to see how long it would take for me to ask you out, so here I am." F19. "Would you mind staying a little longer?" F20. "You can't keep pretending it didn't happen." F21. "Do you want to come to the next race?" F22. "Can I use this as an excuse for our second date?" F23. You were the last two single friends in your friend group. F24. "I'm sorry, do I know you?" F25. "Because I fell for you, isn't it obvious?" F26. "You shouldn't look at me like that and then say that we are just friends." F27. "You're telling me you believe in love at first sight?" F28. "Those things you said, did you mean them?" F29. "I have no one to go to the wedding with." F30. "There will be better days, but I will be here for all of them." F31. "Nothing some love and care and a good soup can't fix." F32. "I'm here to support you, always." F33. "We don't have to do this, if you don't want to." F34. "I've seen the way he looks at you." F35. "You have no idea how long I've waited for this."

SMUT S1. His thumb had begun to run up and down your thigh. S2. His actions had you moaning quietly, desperate for his touch. S3. "It's not my fault you keep turning me on." S4. "I love it when you kiss my neck." S5. "Do you want to put my shirt on?" S6. "Don't give me that look." S7. "Do you think they can hear us?" S8. "Don't talk to me when you're only wearing a towel." S9. "I'm trying to sleep." S10. "If we get caught, it's your fault." S11. "Don't make me pull over." S12. "Friends don't do this type of shit." S13. "You're going to regret this." S14. "I can't control myself around you." S15. "We are not sleeping tonight." S16. "I normally don't do second rounds, but for you I'm willing to make an exception." S17. "We really shouldn't be doing this." S18. "that's not what you said last night." S19. "This can never happen again." S20. "Going to fuck the word friend right out of your mouth." S21. "You had to know it was this big." S22. "Not going to last very long, if you keep doing that." S23. "I love the way look when I'm inside you." S24. "I've never wanted to fuck you more than I do now." S25. "You can't keep coming over in the middle of the night." S26. "Your eyes are saying so much more than your mouth right now." S27. "I like it when you moan my name." S28. "Don't start something you won't finish." S29. "If you don't like it, then we will move on." S30. "Are you sure you want this? We can still stop." S31. "Keep doing that and I won't be gentle." S32. "I'm going to fuck you, so there is at least one thing I fucked the right way." S33. "This is a one time thing." S34. "Don't be gentle." S35. "I've never done this before." S36. "There is no way anyone is that innocent." S37. "No one can ever find out about this." S38. "It's like I hear angels, every time I hear you moan." S39. "Don't act innocent now." S40. "You don't know what you do to me, do you?" S41. "Are you going to join me or just keep staring?" S42. "Round two?" S43. "I need to feel all of you." S44. His hands wraps around your throat. S45. "Are you going to keep eye fucking me?"

ANGST A1. "I know I fucked up." A2. "I don't know how to deal with this." A3. "I don't know how much more of this I can actually deal with." A4. "I know this might be dumb, but can you stay with me?" A5. "If you love me, then why did you sleep with him?" A6. "Please, just listen for a second." A7. "I hate seeing you like this." A8. "Is that what you think about me?" A9. "What happened?" A10. "I just want to see you happy." A11. "Nobody compares to you." A12. "You're not alone." A13. "Have I ever lied to you?" A14. "You are saying goodbye, aren't you?" A15. "Don't finish that sentence." A16. "You can't fix this." A17. "Don't make promises you can't keep." A18. They are meant to be, in another universe." A19. "He would've made it." A20. "I've been in love with you since we were kids." A21. "I was happier with you." A22. "It's pouring rain, why are you here?" A23. "I didn't know where else to go." A24. "Why are you walking out of my life?" A25. "They still ask about you." A26. "And then he left." A27. "I'm tired of keeping this a secret." A28. "Don't you see I'm trying?" A29. "Don't go on that date." A30. "I never stopped loving you." A31. "I could have won." A32. "I'd rather deny my feeling than have to explain them." A33. "You can't keep pretending it didn't happen." A34. It was not what was said that ended their relationship. It was what went unsaid. A35. "I never stopped supporting you, although it hurt." A36. "I didn't know where else to go." A37. "You probably don't want to watch this." A38. "You didn't deserve to hear that." A39. "Oh my god, can you hear yourself!" A40. "You know I want you. It's not a secret I try to hide, but I can't have you."

#lando norris #f1 #formula 1 #f2 #formula 2 #f3 #formula 3

[zmediaoutlet]

10 and/or 13? 🥂

[clink] I am now having a bev so it's officially a wine party, altho technically I am having a... nitro oatmeal stout party. So!

10. Most disliked arc? Why?

Dean getting possessed by Michael, because it didn't matter at fucking all. For the culmination of a 7 year long slow-burn thing it sure came off as a shart in silk boxers, huh?

I'm not one of these people who needs there to be long-form emotional fallout conversations for every bad thing that happens to the Winchesters -- in fact I hate that, haha, 'voicemail fix-it' fics can really thoroughly miss me -- but when truly intense things happen, there needs to be some sense that there's been a ripple in both the plot and emotional landscapes of the show, to indicate that it did happen and that it was a big deal. Sam having to go back to the cage to talk to Lucifer in s11 is a good example of this. He was having those visions; his faith in god is betrayed once more; he's confronted with his ultimate enemy (and tells him to go fuck himself -- Sam, you're so goddamn cool); he does escape, but spends a full episode afterward kind of fucked up about it; then, the fact that he met Lucifer has plot ramifications as Casifer is now escaped and wreaking various kinds of havoc.

Dean finally getting possessed should've had similar weight, and it was just... nothing. The 'monster army' that Michael was allegedly inventing went nowhere. Michael de-possessing Dean and letting him loose as an open door in the bunker meant nothing, because the hunterettes had zero reaction (because they weren't people). The victims that Michael killed were those same hunterettes, NPCs at best, and I couldn't even believe that Sam gave a shit about them, much less the audience caring about them. The episode where we got to hang out inside Dean's head was boring and told us nothing new. Dean shows absolutely zero repercussions after having been possessed, and in fact the only follow-up was Sam angsting about the aforesaid boring-ass hunterettes. Following up, the only plot effect of Michael being around at all is that Jack slorps him up like a yummy snack, and Jack could've gotten angel grace from aaaaaanyone, so it didn't actually matter at all, did it?

To put it lightly: what the fuck? For what should have been a plot arc on the same level of drama and complexity as s5/s6, it was nothing. Plus I had to look at Jensen wearing that stupid hat. I was steamed, I tell you. Steamed!

#answers #ask meme #s14 is the worst season #i'll accept no arguments

[minimoefoe]

Thirteen Era Rewatch: Spyfall Pt2

I'm re-watching Thirteen's era in lead up to the Centenary and since this is likely going to be my last full re-watch for a while I thought I'd do a post on each ep where I just go over all the things I love, hate or just have some general thoughts on.

The way both 13 and Yaz’s way of not freaking out in the Kasaavin dimension is to talk to themselves and like, take their roles, Yaz as a police officer and 13 as the leader among the fam

This whole plane crashing scene is great but Graham is my absolute fave

The Master being so sure that the Doctor and the fam wouldn’t survive when his plans against the Doctor historically fail almost every time…

That’s what the Doctor would do !!

I love the kneel scene. Love how 13 clearly thinks it’s ridiculous, love how the Master reacts to her saying his name, love how he ends up getting down on her level anyway, love how it ends with 13 winning

Thirteen just not really knowing how to react meanwhile Ada is like ugh this guy

Love this scene tbh. Some banter, getting to see how being with the Doctor has changed how they think, them questioning how much they know her.

That scene does make me wish they included moments in S11 where they were trying to get info out of 13 and she fobbed them off bc it feels like they’re saying they’ve done that but we haven’t actually seen them do it. Not the end of the world but meh

Also Yaz being depressed as fuck about the Doctor being gone. You’ve got a big storm coming love

What’s the point in Barton’s mum. I feel like they made him weirdly cruel idk. Barton doesn’t really do much for me tbh

When I first saw this scene in a trailer, for so long I thought they were in a wall, not in the floor

This versus Twelve literally wanting to die at the end of his era. She’s come a long way.. and it’s all gonna get shattered by the end of this ep but it’s FINE

I’ve always loved this parallel

Outside of the fact That scene is ridiculous, 13 being like ‘Masquerading as a German solider is low even for him” but then going on to do that perception filter thing is like…. Yeah and That is low for you lmao. I also don’t even think it’s that low for him tbh. Like he’s not human and probably couldn’t give a flying fuck about our wars and politics, so why would he care about being a German solider for a day if it meant his plan would work.

Graham and his dancing laser shoes have never been my fave but I kinda like it now idk. It’s dumb but it’s kinda funny

Love the contact stuff it’s so cool. Shoutout to Chib for being into Classic fr

I feel like Chib chooses his words so specifically sometimes like jfc

They’re actually insane I love them

Making them think he was a doubtless agent was enough. There was no need to mess with the perception filter. Like even if he was white and the perception filter was gonna show his real white face, it’s still just a pointless thing to do. Which makes me think they put it in there specifically bc the Master isn’t white. Bc what would be the reason to do it otherwise. I assume he wouldn’t even have been wearing a filter if he was white. It’s just a bad look all round. The fact he isn’t white and they’d now be punishing him not only for being a double agent but for his skin colour is fucked. The writers really didn’t think that through in any way literally at all. In my mind, 13 did that just so they would see his real face and not a fake version of him but it’s like.. there’s no way she wouldn’t know that the colour of his skin would get him punished more. I like to just pretend it didn’t happen bc literally why tf. It’s so OOC

The connotations of this are uh, not good. Like I dread to think what kind of places he had to escape from after what 13 pulled. But in my mind it didn’t happen so it’s fine. Also I can’t wait for all the stories we get about the other stuff that happened during those 77yrs

I don’t have a problem with the memory wiping. I think it makes sense for Ada bc she’s at like, the beginning of her life before she makes big discoveries or whatever she does lmao. I guess she coulda left Noor but I don’t really care that she wipes her memory too. It doesn’t feel like the big moral bending issue that people make it out to be. It was justified imo.

Love how they ask to know who she really is and she just goes to the script she’s been saying for over a thousand years at this point like you know that’s not Really what they meant Doctor come on

Also that’s the last time we’re gonna hear them say that probably. Or if the Doctor does say that again, about being from Gallifrey or whatever, I’m hoping/expecting it to be said in a different way where it’s like we can feel them thinking of the TC

Like Pt1, this ep slaps, minus That moment. I think the only thing I don’t really care about is Barton but he plays his part I guess. I love that so much of this ep was just the Doctor and Master’s 10/10 dynamic. And the fam were great too.

#doctor who #thirteenth doctor #yasmin khan #graham o'brien #ryan sinclair #dw meta #nataliechats

[thebiggestmenace]

don't know at what cost though

I am worried

so is everyone stuck here now?

you are not good, Sam

so his grace doesn't regenerate?

"I thought you two were joined at the, everything" you know. you are so right

oh, it's Nick??? how is he alive? I thought he was dead

Jack, don't be so hard on yourself :(

Kelly's parents!!! he's named after her dad :(

how do we know if Dean's telling the truth?

THE HANDPRINT IS GONE?????

she just threw Dean on top of Sam 🤭

oh, Claire had a crush on Kaia :(((

this isn't just a cold, is it *

* no. no, it is not

PLEASE tell me they do celebrate Halloween in the GOOFIEST way possible

wait, this Bobby had a kid?

Michael's still in Dean, isn't he? somehow

they're together now? and they're taking a break :((( Bobby deserved a break

never change, Jack, never change

and he's in the hospital now

he's wearing Cas' trench coat :((((((

1, what is going on with Dean?? and 2, technically speaking, would he not have some grace left from Michael? could they extract that?

Jack, you're scaring me, please tell me they don't kill you

yeah, Cas, you fucking tell him.

he is not bringing Lucifer back wtaf

he's gone? just like that?

he really was their kid :(((

he's in heaven :((((

tf is that???

the shit from the Empty????

wait, Cas goes to the Empty to save Jack??

GARTH??????

and he has a daughter??

Sam, you're supposed to wait

he's so silly

knew Michael wasn't fully out.

this is just a dream, right? this isn't heaven or anything, right?

Jack!!! you have powers again!!

I remember this???? I remember Dean throwing Michael into a closet in his mind??? we never made it this far???

oh, it's a bad thing, nevermind >:( but now Jack gets the disappointed dad™️ talk

Dean, you are concerning me, what are you doing?

wait, I remember the box thing, too?? don't know how it ends, but I remember it and I hate it

omg clowns!!! Sam, you love clowns!!

JOHN??????

oh and they fucked with time!! and everything's weird now!

Jack used his powers one time! one! and you mean to tell me he's getting bad again?

jk it's at least twice now

Michael is in Rowena????

Jack can just do that? amazing

yk I love that Cas and Dean are talking about Jack and Sam like they're their children and they're married

"if we cannot remain civil, then you can skedaddle" IVE BEEN WAITING FOR THIS ONE OH MY GOD THIS IS SO FUN

doesn't Jack hurt Elliot?

no, it's Stacy :((((

the samulet has a pair?! and that one supposedly talks to God?? idk the poeticism of that,,,,,,,,

of course they're trying to bring Lucifer back

yk I was so sure nothing bad would happen in this finale because of Dean and Cas, but I completely forgot to think about Sam and Jack

that was, uh, that was a lot

Jack, what did you do?

wait, did you kill Mary??

and now he's having hallucinations? I am so confused, what is going on

he smote her??? I know it was an accident, but still

Dean. this isn't Cas' fault

I thought the gates to Heaven were closed?

oh, Jack's gonna make more angels?

is the box even gonna work??

yeah, didn't think so

Chuck's back!! and he better help smdh

they're all confused puppies

but one of them has to die?

"I've already lost too much" Sammy :(((( it doesn't even get better :(((((

come on, Chuck

Sam......

what is this????

so everything they've killed,, they're all back? but tenfold because it's souls from Hell?

is this all of the souls??????

are they zombies?

so we have finished 14 now,,,,,, I am so confused. what was that??? they're acting like zombies, but are they just ghosts?? and is it all the souls?? cause with the amount, it sure seems it. so much has happened this season wtf and now onto avoiding 15 :')))

s1, s2, s3, s4, s5, s6, s7, s8, s9, s10, s11, s12, s13, s14, s15

#tbh i dont remember when the handprint left? #is this the first time or did it happen earlier? #menace has been too engrossed in crafts to notice :(( #hehe was that one comment about ipa straight from texas #was that about jensens beer? #i feel like it was about his brewery #and the “i am a winchester” got me im afraid #that one #was uh #so #poetic? #and starting to think we actually made it through s14 as well?? #cause some of these scenes are a tad too familiar #so either weve watched it already or ive seen too many edits? #which is probable but ive been making sure to avoid stuff i havent seen so i dont know #how long will it take for menace to finsih s15? #that sure is a question!! #was also gonna split up this post at like e15 #but there were only 5 episodes left so im sorry this one is lengthy! #the next one might be about the same #e18 and e20 will get their own posts but alas #its still gonna be a big boy #rambling menace #menace watches supernatural #supernatural #spn

[autisticandroids]

anyway ok so lets talk about ruby SPECIFICALLY in my good s6 au. this ruby concept is almost the same as @lesbiansamwinchester‘s ruby lives au but has some key differences, mainly ruby doesn’t redeem herself in s5. lucifer raises her in sympathy for the devil because she really was the best of those sons of bitches and she deserves it but she spends all of s5 conflicted in her loyalties because while she really DOES want lucifer to win she is also In Love With Sam, Unfortunately, and gets more and more uncomfortable with sam being lucifer’s vessel and shit. and then she finally betrays lucifer in like, two minutes to midnight or swan song and he IMMEDIATELY kills her (very important: lucifer must already be possessing sam when this happens). then she’s brought back like. face down in a ditch 300 miles away. that’s how ruby ends season five.

anyway watch this video to set the mood. ruby stuff in season six:

- so at FIRST she is actually running around with a ragtag group of lucifer loyalist demons led by meg. meg kind of hates her for betraying lucifer for sam but also you know sam’s dead and ruby won’t do it again and most importantly they need EVERY pair of hands on board for this. so ruby is kissing huge amounts of ass mostly meg’s, like, meg is making her wait on her hand and foot in an apron. it’s comically villain homoerotic. you know. like ruby serves meg tea in a maid outfit for no other reason then as like. ridiculous humiliation that’s also intensely, weirdly horny. like the lucifer crowley dog stuff in s11. actually meg literally makes ruby wear a dog collar with a little tag that says like, “ruby. if found, please call 666 and return to owner (meg).” i cannot stress enough that this is just STUPID horny for NO reason. you guys know what i mean. it’s basically sorority hazing but up to eleven because demons, and also forever. also meg makes ruby kiss her hand at least once. or like no she makes her kiss her boot. i am having too much fun i’ve gotten distracted.

- ruby finds out sam is alive and immediately ditches. like she just fucks off to nowhere and they can’t figure out where she went. anyway this samruby reunion takes place like, before the first episode definitely, maybe a few months.

- i do like @lesbiansamwinchester‘s thing where ruby tries very hard to be sam’s moral compass but also imo she fucks up, very bad, and a lot. and soulless sam can’t really catch her at it so they end up doing a lot of very fucked shit actually. but she tries very hard because she cares about sam and she wants him to think well of himself y’know. and she wants to be someone who sam would think was worth following.

- re: that last point. many thoughts. head full.

- when sam and dean finally see each other again ruby is there and dean is like what the FUCK. like he did see that she betrayed lucifer for sam at the last minute but also he hates her and doesn’t trust her, and he actually kind of suspects that whatever’s wrong with sam might actually be HER fault. 

- this post is relevant.

- okay but i’ve decided that the cas/meg kiss DOES in fact happen in this au because i do kind of love it and also more importantly, with the addition of the insane meg being ruby’s shitty ex vibe that i am jamming into this au with both hands, it is just. chefkiss. ruby and dean look at each other in horror while sam is just like huh? i’m sorry but imagine being ruby and being forced to watch your horrible ex get kissed dommily by castiel. god this is funny i love this. again this is all in subtext because we are imagining cw censors and i’ve used up my one allotted gay kiss for the season by having anna make out with a random woman at an orgy to prove that all angels are degenerate pansexual hedonists, you know. (is this homophobic enough for the cw? i hope so!) also: an orgy which balthazar organized and cas refused to attend, to be clear. 

- dean is actually garbage enough about the whole ruby thing that sam and ruby fuck off by themselves for a good while like, maybe three or four episodes, leaving dean alone or sometimes with cas. during this time dean gets a little bit involved with the angel revolutionaries.

- anyway when sam gets his soul back he’s like, torn, between dean and ruby. he feels guilty for how he behaved towards and thought about dean but he would ALSO feel guilty just kicking ruby to the curb.

- HOWEVER when he gets his soulless memories back he does kick her to the curb because she has done some REALLY fucked up shit while trying to be his moral compass like she is BAD at it.

- once ruby is left all alone in the world, guess who shows up in a flutter of wings and ambiguity! it’s anna! 

- she is here to ask ruby if she wants to spy on hell for the angel revolution. ruby accepts because everyone else hates her right now. if anna wants to take her in under cas’ banner (and not tell the winchesters because they’re technically on the same side but what’s a little subterfuge between friends) ruby will take it.

- ruby and anna DO get to have some fun agent runner/agent lesbian subtext, as a treat! at least when anna isn’t busy eating food out of lisa braeden’s fridge like villanelle and other nuts things. 

- like i do wanna be clear anna just. appears in lisa braeden’s kitchen, slowly, wordlessly eats her leftovers while staring her down, and then flies away. this contributes to lisa’s impending mental breakdown. MY season six is about the madness of the suburban housewife, among many other various things.

- also i want to be clear that raphael’s side is actually like, funneling weapons to the lucifer loyalist demons to try and get them to defeat crowley but it’s all very hush hush, like, raphael would NOT want his underlings to know that he has organized this, like, they can barely stand to work with naomi. the fact that raphael had naomi organize help for DEMONS is unthinkable. anyway it’s basically celestial iran-contra.

- ruby is actually one of the last people to stick by cas even when like, anna and balthazar are betraying him, because like. whomst among us has never wanted to become god a little. and also, ruby is weak to authority figures we KNOW this she might be down to accept cas as her heavenly father a little, she’s NOT a rebel. but most importantly she sticks by him because, you know, i love sam and he’s mad at me for kinda betraying him and you [REDACTED] dean and he’s mad at you for kinda betraying him like we’re all winchester derangement syndrome patients here, and also like. i get it. sometimes they don’t know what’s good for them. sometimes in order to love you have to betray a little bit.

- ruby doesn’t turn on cas until he breaks sam’s wall. but by then it’s too late and there’s nothing she can do really.

- the parallel where it was dean who stabbed ruby in lucifer rising and it’s sam who stabs cas in the man who knew too much is actually intentional this time and WAY more aggressive. actually there are tons of cas-ruby parallels. i think meg should call ruby a whore like one episode before crowley calls cas a whore just to hammer it home. i think the thing where soulless sam runs away from dean’s judgement and is running around with ruby while dean is sulking about it but also running around with cas is super aggressively obvious. god i love that ruby’s existence makes it super obvious that cas is dean’s [REDACTED]. that’s so fun. 

- this has been an intensely hypertextual romp and it’s apparently nearly fifteen hundred words, good god. anyway, special thanks to @lesbiansamwinchester, @pietacastiel, and @seragamble, all of whom brainstormed with me

#spn #good s6 au

[pocketaltar]

would LOVE to hear your thoughts on supernatural + hinduism 👀👀

i got 2?? whole asks asking me to talk about this?? i’ve been training my whole life for this exact moment

ok so: im hindu, my whole family is hindu, i’ve been studying and learning about hinduism for my whole life. if you want me to elaborate on any of the myths, gods, monsters, etc. that i mentioned pls pls pls let me know, i love talking about this stuff and i never get the chance. 

also this got suuuuuper long so: 

spn only brings up three things that have to do with hinduism (i think. pls tell me if there’s more, i stopped watching at s11). both kali ma and lord ganesha are in s5 e19 hammer of the gods, and the brothers hunt a vetala in s7 e11 adventures in babysitting.

first, kali ma or kalika devi. this is, hands down, their biggest fuck up. kali ma (i call her kali ma, kali devi, or kalika devi as a sign of respect, but the episode just refers to her as kali) has the largest part and most lines out of any of the gods in 5x19. 

and their portrayal of her uh. kinda sucks. for refernce, kalika devi was created in order to a kill a demon who’s power was that anytime a drop of his blood touched the ground, a clone of himself would appear. basically - impossible to kill. you wanna know how she killed him? kalika devi drank his blood and ate his body so that he couldn’t clone himself anymore.

she’s also known as the protector, the mother, and the destroyer. kali ma is who the gods turn to when something goes wrong for them. it’s gross and disrespectful that a washed up former angel can kill her without batting an eye, because in reality, she is far more powerful and far more terrifying than lucifer. 

side note: i really liked the way she looked in the show! the actress was great and i appreciate them getting a darker desi actress, because kali ma canonically has dark skin. the jewelry was cool, although in myth kali ma is depicated as an emaciated woman wearing animal furs and skulls, with bloodshot eyes and her tongue hanging out. basically, i think they could’ve made her scarier, but it’s supernatural and all women must be fuckable.

lord ganesh or ganesha (some people say ganesh, i grew up wth ganesha) is the other hindu god in 5x11. there’s not much i can say because he’s in the episode for like. 5 seconds but the parts he is in are uh. not great. he’s introduced through a clip of dean walking past an open door and seeing an elephant, then doing a double take and seeing ganesha, who’s portrayed as a large black man.

the idea of ganesha just being an elephant is really, really weird. he was brought to life by the goddess parvati, and had his head cut off and replaced with an elephant’s head. so there’s no reason he’d ever be an elephant?? he’s not an animal?? did they google him?? also, lord ganesha is 1000% vegetarian, to the point where a large part of the holiday dedicated to him is gathering plants for him to eat. it’s so gross to even insinuate that he might eat meat, especially human.

the same issue with kali ma applies here too. lord ganesha is the god of removing obstacles and making goals easier. he’s who you pray to before any ceremony or hardship. the idea that lucifer could take him out like that is disgusting and colonialist.

also, a quick note on his appearance: lord ganesha is portrayed by keith dallas, who’s a black american. i’m glad they got his size right, as ganesha is canonically fat. and black hindus do exist! especially in the caribbean and parts of africa, when indians were brought over to those places by the british. if this was a show that had a more diverse team, paid more attention to details, or cared more about accuracy, i’d assume that this was a deliberate choice to highlight the diversity of hindus. but i’m certain it was the crew going “all people of color are the same, they won’t even notice.” which is fucked. 

finally, the vetalas. the vetala is a hindu ghost that is created when a body does not receive a proper funeral (because bodies in hinduism are supposed to be cremated, if the body is not properly burnt, a vetala can form). they’re confined to certain areas, usually forests, and they really aren’t harmful unless you’re intruding on or fucking with them. there are stories of kings trying to remove them but like. they are literally nothing like the spn version. what the fuck was that. just call it something else. 

#spn #supernatural #hinduism #thank u so much!!! #also thank u 2 the anon who asked me to talk about this #pls tell me if u want me to talk about this more

[youwerenevermeanttofeelalone]

Shitty Birthdays and Little Stars | Jason Todd

✦ pairing — Jason Todd x gender neutral!Plus Size Reader

✦ word count — 1.9k

✦ summary — a stranger makes your shitty birthday better – maybe even more than just your birthday.

✦ request — Can I have a smutty prompt 11 with Jason Todd, please?

✶ S11 - “If you keep making those sounds I’m not going to be able to stop myself.”

✦ warnings — angst, mentions and usage of alcohol, language, reader has a vagina, mild smut, fluff.

════════════════════════

Sean, the bartender’s shadow loomed over you as he stood in front of you. Sniffing, you looked up at his still frame.

“It’s too early to close my tab,” you reminded him defensively, “I just got here.”

Chuckling, he shook his head and placed a glass identical to the half-empty one in your hands.

“What’s that?”

He lifted his eyebrows, deviating his gaze to your left. Your eyes fell on a dark-haired man, a little mysterious looking, clearly stupidly tall, deep pretty eyes and all...

Why did he have to appear today precisely?

“Shit, he’s hot.”

“Go,” Sean encouraged you.

“No!” you said between your teeth, eyes still on the handsome stranger. “I’ve been crying the entire day.”

“Oh, I know. Everybody can tell, even him, yet he sent that drink.”

Your head snapped to where the bartender was standing. You glared. “Sean, do you even know wh—“

A gruff voice next to you interrupted you. “Can I sit?”

The effect that voice had on you must’ve been clear on your face because Sean snorted and walked away.

You nodded your head. “Of course.”

“I’m Jason,” he introduced himself as he sat down next to you, twisting on the stool to face you.

You gave him your name and immediately felt the need to explain yourself under his gaze. “I’m flattered,” you assured him. “But I’m in a shitty mood and I wouldn’t want to ruin your evening.”

“What happened?”

“Let’s go with a ghost from the past.”

“Metaphorical, I hope.”

You tilted your head. “So you believe in ghosts? Like actual ghosts?”

Jason considered the question for a few seconds. “Can’t say I do, can’t say they absolutely don’t exist.”

You hummed. “It’s just been a shitty day.”

“We all have those. Some have shitty years even.”

“You know Sean, right?” You nodded your head upward in direction toward the other end of the bar. Jason nodded. “Well, today is my birthday and the only person who remembered was him.”

“Happy birthday.”

You could tell that he meant it which wasn’t making things better. Or easier. “Thanks.”

“So a shitty birthday brought you to a bar?”

“Yeah. Long story short.”

“I have time.”

“You really want me to ruin your evening, don’t you?”

He shrugged, almost sheepishly. “Got somebody else’s evening to ruin?”

Finishing the half-empty drink, you sighed. “My two best friends live in another state and they were supposed to be here yesterday but they’re too busy which I completely understand. And my dad is out of town visiting my half-sister whom I hate — that one I don’t understand so much, but I guess she’s his daughter too.” You grimaced as the words left your mouth. “You wanna hear the worst part?”

“I’m all ears.”

“I was in the parking lot of the supermarket, trying not to cry because apart from the shitty birthday thing, I fucking hate doing groceries on the weekend.” You moved your hands as you spoke. “Somebody taps on my window and it’s my asshole ex-boyfriend. I roll the window down, and what’s the first thing he does?”

Jason tapped on the bar as he guessed, “He wishes you a happy birthday.”

“Yes! It’s fucking infuriating! And now I’m here like a damn idiot telling you all about it when your intentions were clearly different.”

“It’s okay,” he tried to assure you, softly.

“No, it’s not! I should be getting laid right now, not telling you about this.”

He couldn’t help but smile, a little nervously. “I— I mean, that can still happen...”

“Yeah?” your voice dropped. You were nervous, too.

He leaned in, eyes on your mouth as he tilted his head. Jason licked his lips before answering. “Yeah.”

You let out a shaky breath and then wished you hadn’t opened your mouth as you sniffed again. “I should wash my face first...”

He bit down his bottom lip. “Take your time.”

You giddily walked into the bathroom, and as quickly as you had walked in you did out. For whatever reason, Jason waited for you.

He even smiled as you walked back toward him, finishing his tall glass just as you stood in front of him.

“I’m sure you were trying to be all smooth and I ruined it.”

“I was about to thank you. I’m a little sleep-deprived and thankfully you skipped the small talk.“

You giggled, resting your hands on his cheeks. “You’re a breath of fresh air.”

He placed his hand on the back of your head, softly smiling at you. “Likewise. Uh... may I kiss you now?”

You caressed his cheeks, tracing his facial structure. “Yeah, sorry.”

Instead of repeating that it was okay, Jason closed the gap between your mouths. You felt as though you were melting as his lips tentatively caressed yours.

His kiss tasted sweet with a lingering acidic tone. You weren’t sure as to what he had been drinking, but the taste only made you kiss him harder.

His free arm circled your middle as he opened his legs to bring you closer. Standing between his legs, you slid a hand to the back of his head and nipped on his bottom lip.

As your lips molded together and the two of you grew more comfortable, you let him pry your mouth open.

Soon, he was slamming you against his bedroom wall, devouring your lips as his hands wandered up and down your sides.

He made you whine as his grip on you tightened which only prompted him to kiss you harder and in response, you moaned.

On your lips, he panted, “If you keep making those sounds I’m not going to be able to stop myself.”

“Who said I wanted you to stop?”

You almost tripped with your own jacket as he walked you towards the bed. Jason picked the item and threw it to the other side of the room where his own had landed earlier.

Hovering over you, he went directly to kiss your neck. You didn’t know how he did it, but he found the perfect spot in seconds, making you whimper.

He hummed, pleased to know you were enjoying yourself. His fingers traced the space between your waist and hip, waiting for your permission to slide your t-shirt up.

You really wished you were wearing a matching pair of underwear and not a sports bra and a pair of white panties with colorful stars.

Knowing it was unavoidable, you placed your hands on his chest so he would kneel on the bed. He allowed you to sit up, watching you as you gripped the ends of your t-shirt and took it off.

He left a trail of kisses down your stomach, hands tracing your thighs. Tugging on a loop of your jeans, he asked for permission to take them off which you granted him.

As the button popped open and the zipper was lowered, you waited for a comment about your underwear that never came.

He made you lift your hips so he could discard the denim, eyes lingering on your crotch.

“Don’t laugh.”

Clearly amused, he said, “The little stars are cute.” Impatient, he pulled your panties down, dragging them down your legs and dropping them onto the floor.

You didn’t expect him to bury his face between your legs, hands drawing patterns over your hips and thighs as he feasted on you.

Panting as you recovered your breath, you followed his now naked form as he laid on the bed just next to you. After getting rid of your sports bra, you crawled towards him. His eyes mapped your every moment, and he licked his lips. With a ragged breath, he brought you over him.

Groping the back of your thighs, Jason searched for your mouth. His tongue shoved past your now bruised lips, pressing against yours.

Whimpering on his mouth as you felt his girth against your slit, you intentionally rolled your hips against his.

He stretched his arm and reached for a condom. You kneeled between his legs, watching his movements as he rolled the condom down his cock.

Gripping your waist, he pulled you onto his lap again. “Ride me,” he breathed out.

════════════════════════

The wail of your cellphone startled you awake. You were so comfortable that you let it ring, but whoever wanted to reach you insisted.

Grabbing for the phone, you sleepily hummed as you answered.

“Where are you?”

Your eyes widened as you heard your dad’s voice. Leaving the bed as silently as possible, you held the phone to your ear between your neck and your cheek while you slid your panties on.

“One second,” you whispered into the phone and placed it onto the bed in order to throw your t-shirt on.

Snatching the device, you slowly opened the door and walked toward Jason’s living room. “I’m not at my place right now,” you rasped.

“Oh, I know,” your dad mocked you. “I waited outside for half an hour.”

“I didn’t know you would be back so soon,” you defended yourself. Tilting your head, you made sure that Jason was still asleep. “Are you still there?”

Your dad snorted. “Of course not.” He then repeated his question, “Where are you?”

You saw Jason stir awake, rubbing an eye with his fist. As he turned to the side and observed the empty bed, you breathed in shakily. “With a friend.”

Your dad’s grunt was enough for you to understand that he didn’t believe you. He didn’t press on the subject anymore, though, he never did. “Let’s get dinner. It’s on me.”

“Yeah, yeah. That sounds good. Where?”

Jason approached you just as your dad gave you the specifics. He watched you with curiosity, both hands in his hair as he fixed his bed hair.

The line clicked on the other end and you immediately acknowledged Jason. “Sorry if I woke you up.”

“Are—“ He cleared his throat. “Are you leaving already?”

You fiddled with your phone as it laid between your hands. “Should I?”

Jason quickly answered, “No! I just thought...” He shook his head. “It’s stupid.”

“You can tell me.”

“I thought you had left without saying goodbye.”

You didn’t know what to say, you weren’t even sure if you would’ve said goodbye had he not waken up. There was something in his eyes that almost made you feel guilty, but you weren’t able to decipher what it was because he spoke again.

“Well, that and I, uh, last night I thought that this would be, uh, more than... you know, a one-time thing.” Seeing your surprised semblance, Jason cursed, “Fuck. I made it awkward, didn’t I?”

“No, no!” Putting your cellphone down onto the coffee table, you stepped closer to him. “Please, Jason, don’t worry. I just wasn’t expecting that.”

He gazed at you, waiting for a clear answer.

This was crazy, and it excited you after so many months in which you tried to find someone willing to at least try to stay.

“You made it better.” You slanted your head. “Easier.”

Hesitantly, he opened his arms. Surely, you snaked your arms around his waist. He wrapped his arms over your hips.

The two of you allowed silence to settle between you, to turn comfortable. And then made peace with it, you made peace with Jason’s breath and he made peace with your mindless swaying.

He traced the edge of your panties, huffing a laugh when you bashfully shook your head. “They’re still cute, I promise.”

“You sure are something.”

“A good something, I hope?”

Afraid of ruining the moment with your morning breath, you opted for kissing his cheek. His lips could wait. “An amazing something, I would say.”

#jason todd x reader #jason todd x plus size reader #jason todd smut #jason todd

[grimbeak]

How Pirate Jay Au Jay deal with the rest of the seasons 

DotD: 

*I haven’t watched this ep in 4+ years so Im just gonna focus on the bruise at the end

*Very happy that his bf is no longer a ghost! Now he can give surprise hugs without faceplanting on the floor! (Kai comments that they’re ‘going to be even worse now’)

*Oh yeah and he’s happy to see Morro bc that happens ig 

S7:

*Spends most of it having literally no idea what’s going on

*Acronix tries to manipulate him ab his mom and Jay’s like ‘bitch stfu’ so it doesn’t rly work out

*He honestly doesn’t care ab the fact that Wu’s dying all that much bc he’s only known him for a few months (and he’s still a bit upset about the whole ‘banishing my mom instead of trying to talk to her’ thing)

*He doesn’t have Ed n Edna to worry ab so he just fucks around a bit before going ‘fuck it’ and grabbing the timeblade before anyone else can get to it

*he didn’t have a vehicle he just ran

*pirate coat flowing in the wind 

*Anyway Kai eventually rants to him ab his parents being supposedly evil and jay’s like ‘oh no,,,, how awful that must be for you,,, can’t relate,,,, at all,,,’ which earns him a smack on the head

*Ray and Maya see this new lightning master and are like ‘um is no one else concerned about this’ 

S8:

*Jay searched for Wu for a year (despite not givin a fuck lmao) purely to spend a year with his boyf. That was the only reason. 

*He is freak tF out by Lloyd’s voice change:

‘WHAT’S WRONG WITH HIM’ 

‘he’s fine it’s just puberty- you literally went through this jay’

‘NORMAL HUMAN FUNCTIONS DON’T WORK PROPERLY IN THE CURSED REALM MY VOICE NEVER CHANGED BITCH’

‘is that why you’re still so short’

‘FUCK OFF I NEED TO EAT MORE APPARENLY’

*Harumi is just unimpressed with him her description of him is smthn like ‘the pirate ninja who has no self control’ 

*He instantly knows she’s the traitor but no one really listens to him

*He laughs at them when they figure out he was right

*Jay gets a very quick rundown of what happened with Garmadon and is no longer laughing 

*uhhh canon events happen ig

S9:

*Yeah pretty much canon events as well except for the fact that Jay is freaKING OUT about the fact that there are DRAGONS

‘jay we can make magical dragons’

‘YEAH BUT THEY’RE MADE OF ENERGY AND OUR OWN EMOTIONS THESE ONES ARE NOT’ 

*He still loses it for a bit but instead of him just giving up completely it’s more like he’s drunk

S10:

*No proposin yet because they’re literal children and also shits goin DOWN

*goin down like cole

*sorry

*They have to physically restrain Jay from jumping down after Cole when he falls

*when kai re-makes the golden weapons jay’s kinda like ‘ohhh so that’s what the nunchucks looked like b4 you guys melted them cool cool’ 

*Cole’s back!! Jay’s happy!! Everyone wins!! 

*no one wins bcuz Lloyd’s dead. When he comes back Jay offers him an invite to the club of ‘we died but not anymore’. Zane and Jay were previously the only members. 

S11:

*uhhh what happens in this season again 

*nothing important so lets move on

S12:

(Pre-season 12, Jay gets an odd feeling, and finds Clutch Powers just about to open the teapot of tyrahn. He smacks him and goes ‘no’ before kicking it into the ocean. Ninjago city is safe once more.) 

*Nothing really changes except for the fact that he actually calls the cult that he made a cult and they only cause anarchy 

*Cole just points to where the crowds are running from and is like ‘jay’s over there’ 

*Also Jay has literally no idea what’s going on in this video game world bcuz like everything is just weird and he hasn’t really had time for games with all the heroing going on 

*Bruise happens n they dance

*Jay is horrible at dancing but they do it anyway

*Canon stuff (except Nya dies in the car with Kai for bruise reasons)

*Cole sacrificing himself at the end fuckin hurts bcuz last time Jay died in Cole’s arms,,, now it’s the opposite (sorta lmao) 

*At the confrontation with Unagami, Jay’s just like “look dude the people who were supposed to protect me threw my mom who was pregnant with me into the cursed realm without even giving me a chance to live, so let’s just both agree that our families suck and move on” and Unagami’s like “Sure that makes sense” 

*They bond over having no idea what anything is at any time

S13: 

*Jay is so proud of his boyfriend getting a season

*Jay please stop breaking the fourth wall I’m trying to write

*Vania tries to flirt with Cole, Jay responds by fuckin making out with him in front of everyone

*y e a h

*the queen tries to marry him and jay’s like ‘uh i have a bf’ and she’s like ‘not anymore’ and nya’s like ‘im his lesbian sister let me fight you for him’ and the queen’s like ‘do you wanna get married instead’ and nya’s like ‘uh no i have a gf too’ and the queen is like ‘well i can’t marry the green one he’s a minor’ and lloyd’s just so confused 

*Cole does his Thing with his new 3 poly uncles 

*Uh stuff happens

*

*

*Bruise

*No one’s really sure who the queen ended up marrying but they’re never going back there just in case

The Island:

*Jay likes his flower crown. He wears on the brim of his pirate hat.

#Ns7 #Ns8 #Ns9 #Ns10 #Ns11 #Ns12 #Ns13 #Ns14 #The Island #Ninjago Spoilers #Ninjago Jay #Pirate Jay AU #Ninjago Kai #Ninjago Cole #Ninjago Lloyd #Ninjago Zane #Ninjago Nya #Ninjago Wu #Bruiseshipping #Day of the Departed

[impala-dreamer]

Ohhh s11 eh?? In a relationship with dean and so hurt and confused with the amara "connection"

Very Last Kiss

Dean x Reader

746 Words

Warnings: Angst. Heartbreak. 

Saturday Drabbles Masterlist ~ My Masterlist ~ Become A Patreon ~ Find My Original Works on Amazon

You slammed the door shut behind you, hiding your tears from the world, from him. Ever since your first kiss, you told yourself that you’d stay strong, be there for him, be the loving presence that he needed, but it was wearing on you. The last two years had been hell and now this…

The knob turned but you didn’t look back, eyes shut, arms crossed over your chest, refusing to see who it was. You already knew. 

“Babe, please.” His voice was deep, sad. 

Dean shut the door gently and walked to you, fingertips brushing your shoulder before you spun away, leaving him hanging. 

“Y/N…”

You wiped the tears from your face and cleared your throat. “What?” The hardness in your voice wasn’t meant, but unavoidable. 

Dean sighed. “Well, that’s kinda what I wanna ask you.” 

Finally, you looked at him; hands stuffed in his pockets, flannel sleeves rolled up a few inches. He was wrinkled and tired, circles dark beneath his eyes, time and pain pushing down hard on his broad shoulders. 

“It’s nothing,” you said, brushing him off. “Just tired.” 

He rolled his eyes a bit at the lie. “We’re all tired,” he countered, sadness washing over his face. “You’re mad at me.”

Tears sprung back up but you pushed them away, biting your tongue instead. “I”m not...mad, Dean. I’m…I don’t know what I am.” 

He took a step to you and you stayed put, staring at the man you loved who probably no longer loved you back. “Talk to me, please.” 

“I just…” Words were hard, but the secret was harder. The lump in your throat made it difficult, but you swallowed it down as best you could. “I feel like I’m losing you. It’s like we finally get you back, and then this whole...Darkness thing...I can’t… I’m gonna lose you for real this time. I know it. And I don’t know what to do.” 

Dean’s face twisted, shocked by your confession. “Amara?” He shook his head. “No, baby. I- I’m not leaving you. Not for her. Not for anyone.” 

Your shoulders sank. “Dean, you can barely say her name without shaking. She’s...got her hooks in you or something. I don’t know what it is, but I know you… you want her.” 

He clenched his jaw. “No. I don’t.” 

Reaching for his hand, you uncurled his fist and threaded your fingers through his. “Be honest with me, please. I see how distant you are. I know you’re thinking about her whenever your lips are shut. When you talk about her, it’s as if…” You stopped, in too much pain to go on. “It’s… you never look like that when you talk about me. You’ve never looked at me the way you look at her.” 

His fingers tightened in your grasp, his head fell as he closed his eyes. “I’m sorry.” 

It was just a whisper, just two words, but your heart shattered. 

“You do want her,” you said sadly, choking around the pain. 

He looked up, green eyes wet, a single tear escaping to slide down his stubbled cheek. “I swear to you, everything in me wants to kill her. To end this. But… I don’t think I can. She’s…” 

“You love her.” 

“No.” He grit his teeth. “No. I...it’s not love. It’s…”

“What?” 

“It’s a pull, Y/N. Something inside me needs to go to her and I have to fight myself every fucking second.” You tried to look away and he grabbed your other hand, pulling both to hold against his chest. “But I’m not going. Whatever she wants with me… I won’t give it to her. I won’t leave you, Sam. I can’t.” 

Leaning forward, you kissed the hands that held yours. “I know you’re struggling, Dean, and I’m sorry.”

“You don’t believe me,” he said, tears flowing freely now. 

“I want to, but… if she calls for you, really calls, you’ll go. I won’t be able to stop you, or Sam, or Cas. You’ll go, and I’m gonna lose you for good.” 

He kissed you out of nowhere, grabbing you up into his arms, using your lips to ground himself, to distract you, maybe both, maybe just to say he was sorry and you were right. Whatever it was, you let it happen, slipping your hand around the nape of his neck to keep him there, holding him, savoring the pain of what could very well be your very last kiss.

2020 Forever Tags:

@67-chevy-baby @akshi8278 @akhuna01 @amanda-teaches @because-imma-lady-assface @blondemarvelchick @blushingjared @broiderie @burningcoffeetimetravel @classic-rock-angel @cosicas-cuquis @covered-byroses @crashdevlin @deansgirl215 @deans-baby-momma @deangirl7695 @deanwanddamons @deanwinchesterswitch @defenderrosetyler  @dolphincliffs @dontshootmespence @edge-oftonight @emoryhemsworth @fandom-princess-forevermore @feelmyroarrrr @flamencodiva @focusonspn @herbologystudent252 @heycasbutt @hornyandsmol @ilovefanfic86 @i-love-superhero @ilsawasanacrobat @imjustadrummer @ivvitm1109 @joseyrw @justagirlinafandomworld @justcallmeasmodeus @katymacsupernatural @laxe-from-outer-space @leatherandfrackles @lessons-of-red​ @letsby @letsdisneythings @lonewolf471 @maddiepants @mariekoukie6661 @meganwinchester1999 @missjenniferb @mrswhozeewhatsis @mummybear  @onethirstyunicorn @our-jensen-ackles-love @screechingartisancashbailiff @spn-dean-and-sam-winchester @starboycas @stephaniecanfield96us​ @stoneyggirl @squirrelnotsam @thebookisbtr @thehardcoveraddict @thevelvetseries @veevm​ @winchestersister55​ @wendibird @winecatsandpizza @winterpoohbear

#ssd #dean x reader #angst #feelmyroarrrr #Beka Talks

[pookiesmcbride]

*sorry this is very long but i have a bit of a finale headcanon at the end :)*

i’m almost 100% positive that caryl will have an important interaction in the finale. whether it’s canon or something close to it, we’ll get something good for them. the writers wouldn’t leave their relationship how it is right now and especially not when they have the excuse of putting a big caryl moment in a finale. those few seconds of weirdness when carol came back was supposed to be that way, bc we’re supposed to get this feeling that theyve got unfinished business between each other, that no, they’re not on good terms rn and it’s never rly been like this between them before- but it could never stay that way.

further proof that we’ll get something is that carol went back to ASZ to make things right with those she loves, bc “it’s never too late.” considering carol doesn’t open up to her fam much, if at all, kelly is a great first step in this direction. we need to remember that carol probably never opened up to Ed all those years bc it most likely ended in a beating. plus with tobin she wore a mask the entire time, and she never wanted to open up to ezekiel either, which was kinda the cause of their rise and their downfall. zeke never knew the “real carol”, so she was content to live this little fairytale bc she could ignore all these demons in her head. there’s a common theme with carol and wearing these masks, and ending up alone a lot, hence the mention of “lonewolf” from kelly.

IMO, the last person, if not the only person ever, that carol has actually opened up to is daryl. he’s the one person noticing that she’s not being herself, and thus the only one that is caring about that. in 10x14 i think carol realizes this fact. “i could never let that happen.” she knows how important daryl is to her and if she ever wants to get to her real, happy self in the future, she’s gotta go back to daryl and make sure he’s okay, and that their relationship is okay. he’s the only one that really truly knows her, and considering hes one of the first in carol’s life to be this person for her, it’s overwhelming.

the problem now is talking to him. she wants to, and i believe he wants to as well, but it’s carol who’s gotta make the move here. getting thru the nitty gritty with him is so much harder than kelly because she knows him so much better, and she has it engrained in her head that she’s ruined his future and their important bond from her actions, how do you even begin to talk about that ya know? any word i say could ruin this forever, wtf do i even say? she was crying even talking to kelly, with daryl her emotions will be tenfold.

daryls done everything he could to let her know he’s a safe space - and his frustration rn is that she’s still running and not wanting to take him up on his many offers to talk to him- but she needs to decide. talking to kelly is a good baby step to get this courage to talk to him. like oh, maybe all of this turmoil and hatred is coming from my own head, my fam doesn’t actually despise me as much as i think. daryl probably still does, but there’s a chance he may not, maybe i’ll go take the chance.

i’m not sure how this conversation will begin or the circumstances they’ll be in when they do this. (i do think tho that connie will be revealed as dead beforehand) . maybe carol will blurt it out when they’re pushing back a big horde or something, or maybe there’s a moment of quiet in the hospital and they’ll be sitting like they were when carol was hallucinating daryls speech about his dad. i have no idea. but i imagine they’ll say some things like this.

“daryl..do you wanna know why i asked you not to hate me? ive told you before that i cant lose you, but it’s more than just in death. so much more. you’re the person that could bring me back from this. sometimes i get really caught up in this shit but i always seem to come back to you and things get a little better. you don’t have to forgive me for what happened, please don’t. i deserve it. but i just... really need you with me. you’re the last one daryl.. the last one who knows me. i cant be alone with myself.

did anyone ever tell you about what happened to lizzie and mika? *proceeds to choke thru the story and how she’s being plagued by her kids all the time. i imagine daryl begins holding her thru this and she’s talking into his chest/shoulder* I’m a fucking monster daryl. i kill kids and anyone else who’s in my path. dont forgive me for what happened in that cave either. i hate that i didn’t listen to you. i didn’t listen to a word you said and now connies gone. *starts sobbing* you tried so hard for me and i just... ruined everything for you. the one girl you cared about, the future you were fighting for, daryl i’m just so sorry.”

*i imagine there being some silence as daryl lets carol get all her tears out. then daryl starts talking into her hair or something*

“you know you’re not a monster. the farthest thing from it carol. you’ve saved us more times than i can count on my hands, and that includes you killing lizzie. she could’ve hurt even more people, you did the right thing. and you even saved judith over there, look where she is now *points to judith takin a little nap across the room*

you’ve always got the best intentions. nothing you could do would push me away, you need to know that. what hurts the most is you always try to get away from everyone. from me. *looking into her eyes at this point* you think everyone hates you enough to be fine with you gone? carol i can’t lose you as much as you do me... and that’s terrifying. *chuckles* never realize i need you more than when you’re not here. never felt i needed anyone before i met you, honest. *goes back to hugging her to his chest so he can get the courage to say this next part*

you were the first person i tried to find when that cave collapsed. i stayed put in those woods a few days ago waiting, just staring into the dark for you to come back to us. the reason i fought so hard for you to fight for a future is that i wanted you to be here for mine. you’re the only one i can see clearly in it, and if you were dead... god i dunno where i’d be. but you’re the girl i care about. connie was a great friend, but i really just need you. i just... please stay.”

*then i imagine carol carefully moving away from his chest with tears in her eyes and the biggest smile, she wipes his tears a bit and keeps her hand there. they stare at each other for a quick sec then look at each other’s lips, slowly moving in then BOOM cockblock from something and now we have to wait until s11*

sorry this ended up being vv long all in all I HAVE HOPE OK hope y’all are staying healthy and hopefully we don’t have to wait too long for this beauty🥺

#caryl #caryl positivity #idk how to make text under a cover #so deal with the scrolling if u dont wanna read dammit #love them w my whole ass heart

[vrc7]

Spyfall part 2 thoughts

SPOILERS!! also this ended up a lot longer than I expected.

so much of this episode were callbacks to past doctor who!! basically fanservice but I was an absolute sucker for it

the first scene on the plane was so good, from that alone I could already tell this episode would be amazing. The way it transitioned from 13 in the strange dimension to the plane scene, and how 13 talking to herself worked with the action...

the doctor saving them from crashing was the main reason why I knew it would be good bc I knew it would eventually explain how she saved them and I love when stuff like that happens

the blink reference had me screaming, I know it’s basic but that was so cool

I was very glad we got to see 13 in a suit for another entire episode. gay rights

the “chase through time” was so cool, it was amazing and worked perfectly in the story, and I feel like if they elaborated on that it would make a stunning story

l loved Eda so much. The fact that the doctor didn’t kiss her at the end is homophobic

The WWII scene at the beginning rly reminded me of the empty child/the doctor Dances and I was hoping they’d make a reference

I was sad she had to erase their memories but I understand why

I also loved the contrast between the historical scenes and the fam in modern day

A lot of the things 13 did this episode reminded me a lot of 11. like talking to herself in the weird dimension and the apparating man scene

also when she addressed the light beings after coming to save the day she said “listen you lot” which reminded me of the pandorica speech and then she said something like “this planet is protected” which reminded of 11’s speech at the end of the eleventh hour

I also loved seeing her in a more serious mood

When the doc stole the masters tardis that was so good, especially when he was like “that was the worst 77 years of my life”

It’s so satisfying to see the master get outsmarted when he thinks he’s in control

the light beings across time is not what I expected, I wanted it to be parallel earths bc of part one and when the master said everything you know is a lie I thought it was about the nature of reality being a lie but I guess not. that would’ve been cool though

The fam were great

I love graham even more now if that’s possible, in part one I was hoping they’d use the laser shoes that was so good!! “dance graham dance!!” iconic.

I liked seeing those 3 interact without the doc around. It probably happened in s11 i don’t remember anything, but it was cool seeing them talk without her

The tech plot was especially scary bc like. That’s something that could feasibly happen right now except without the aliens

The idea of humans as a hard drive is interesting and very creepy, especially the vor guy using his own mom??

also the vor guy reminds me of an rtd era villain for some reason plus the evil tech concept reminded the of the WiFi episode from series 7

ok so one of the main reason I love the master is their Drama and this guy. did not disappoint

his enterance into the room in 1834 and. the fucking tissue compression eliminator (shrink ray)!!!!!! that made me so happy in part one I’m so glad they brought it back. anyway. exquisite

like many have said he really reminds me of simm

he’s so emotional, like his sadness, his anguish, his anger and rage, he’s like batshit crazy and I love it. Sacha Dhawan Has The Range.

he’s also good at dramatically screaming which is a huge plus. the “DOCTAHHH!!!!” at the end.

Every time the master and doctor interacted in this ep it was like. wow I am thoschei trash, like those two know each other so well!! best enemies 4ever y’all

also all of those scenes reminded be how fucking bi i am like holy shit those two are unstoppable

The frigging contact scene. pure artistry. have they done that since classic who? I thought ten and simm might have but I don’t remember

anyway “old school, you’re not the only one who can do classic”, loved that line (referring to the tissue compression eliminator I assume)

also THE DRUMS!! that scene was amazing, I especially loved how the music synced up with the beeping and the beeps became the beat, and how the drums doubled the beeping... pure fucking artistry

When the doctor shows up to save the day the look on the masters face is priceless

Also “Oh.” “That’s your name don’t wear it out!” that was one of the best moments in the ep holy shit!!!

I think the master is genuinely sad and angry at both himself for bombing gallifrey and the time lords for their supposed lies. I’m excited to find out

I’m asssuming he burned all of gallifrey and not just the capital bc they only showed the capital, too bad though I hoped we’d see some of the doc talking to gallifreyans again

And of course I like that the fam is finally getting to know her past, what she said at the end was very reminiscent of the many “I am the doctor” speeches.

still don’t know wtf a “timeless child” is tho

#doctor who #im making another post about the missy issue #the master #jodie whittaker #dhawan!master #thoschei #dw #13th doctor #spyfall #that ep blew my mind

[hot-takes-and-random-things]

S11 E11 “Into the Mystic” thanks to @kitkatwinchester for sending the gif for my belated S1 reaction post. Into the Mystic?  That’s a weird title. I LOVE THIS SONG! WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON? WHAT IS THAT? Okay, good, it’s gone, but... that guy is dead.

Hi Sam, hi Dean, how does this episode tie in to the random Scottish people? Sam! Put the hanky down and GO INVESTIGATE. Cas is... feeding doves?  Cas looks okay...?  Who is the trenchcoat wannabe?  Why is Cas wearing his short trenchcoat? Oh yeah, I forgot, it’s Luci. “Lucifer ex machina”😂 LUCIFER!😱 There is an Oak Park nursing home in the next city over from me. I work at a nursing home, and I can tell you that the residents can absolutely get mad at each other.  I have not heard a pension check story, though. Oh look, Sam is talking to Dean. “Lucifer is not getting out of that cage, ever.”😂  If you only knew! “Please burn the bones so we can go home.”  There’s a rare sentence. That thing is... it’s like the mummy from the Orient Express episode of Doctor Who.  Only those about to die can see it. Well.  That was terrifying.  I guess I’m leaving the nightlight on tonight. Dean’s and Sam’s conversation subtitled was a cool shot. Banshee/bean sidhe.  Should have guessed.  There’s our Scottish connection. Is Dean back in the bunker? kitkatwinchester: Hiii not-Cas. Mildred is not surprised that Sam and Dean are not FBI because they’re too cute?  What?!😂 Yes, please, please, please save this woman. Awwww, she wants to practice her signing?❤️ Not!Marlene for TFW! Eileen for TFW! Lucifer is sad for Dean’s “attraction” to Amara because he ships the Destiel.  What a good, supportive big brother! Mildred’s and Eileen’s conversation is hilarious.  Eileen is a good, supportive granddaughter!😂 Eileen doesn’t know what to do after killing the banshee?  How about, oh I don’t know, JOINING TEAM FREE WILL??! Well... if Mildred is willing... I’m just saying... you know... older ladies are more experienced😂 Please please please let Mildred survive this episode. MILDRED!  GET SOME! Mildred for TFW! Mildred, it isn’t a lady that Dean is pining over.  It’s an angel.  His name is Cas. Dean, don’t lie, you’re not single. Um, can I suggest Mildred/Dean/Cas threesome? MILDRED!😂  You foxy lady! Oh good, the boys are talking! Dean, you should know what to do if you can’t sleep😉

#supernatural #supernatural season 11 #sam winchester #dean winchester #castiel #i mean #lucifer #eileen leahy #mildred baker #luci supports destiel #destiel #supernatural reactions

[missjanjie]

the s11 tour girls and asia are getting drunk and they start asking branjie all the explicit questions about their sex life or maybe in like a truth or dare kinda fic

cop-out? what cop-out?

–

Herding drunk drag queens onto a tour bus was a lot likegetting a class of kindergarteners inside after recess. Everyone was stillwandering around, yelling, falling down, laughing, and spilling anything theywere holding. Luckily it was the end of a night that would be followed by a dayoff – this would be far worse if they were on any sort of time constraints.

Finally, everyone was on the bus with all of theirbelongings, and they peeled out onto the road. For the most part, everyone wastalking to those physically closest to them, until Yvie shouted four rows downto the back of the bus. “Hey! I’ve got a question for you guys,” he announced,pointing to Brooke Lynn and Vanessa.

“Fine, just stop fucking screaming, goddamn!” Vanessa yelledback, burying his head against Brooke’s chest, hiccupping every now and then.

Yvie didn’t have to yell, as everyone was curious enough tohear the question to quiet down. “Do you guys use your boy names when you’refucking? Or is it easier to just use your drag ones?” he asked, some of theothers giggling.

“Neither, he calls me ‘daddy’,” Brooke retorted, squeezingVanessa closer. No one could actually tell if he was joking or not, perhaps toofar gone to be skeptical.

“Oh, so you’re the top, huh?” Asia chimed in.

“I fuck him sometimes!” Vanessa turned her head out torespond, only to nestle right back in the crook of Brooke’s neck, letting him rubhis back. “But if y’all saw what I get to see, you’d be trynna get some too.But you can’t. Because I called dibs,” he rambled.

A’keria nudged Silky. “See? I told you he was dick-whipped.You don’t go outta your way to keep fucking someone if they ain’t packing.”

Silky nodded in agreement. “Wait, so are you circumcised? Idunno what customs y’all got in Canada.”

Brooke pinched the bridge of his nose. “Can we like, stoptalking about my dick?” he groaned in annoyance, then looked down at Vanessa,who was still snuggled up against him. “Stop laughing,” his tone wasdrastically softer and sweeter, which only made the others laugh again.

“Hey, you two subject us to your shenanigans every day. Wedeserve to know the good stuff,” Yvie retorted. “Now tell us how often you fuckin drag.”

Vanessa decided to properly join the conversation. He sat onBrooke Lynn’s lap and wrapped an arm around him. “You gotta do what you gottado sometimes, you know?” he hummed, kissing at Brooke’s forehead and playfullynipping at him. “We don’t got time to butch it up.”

“But do you ever prefer it?”

“Listen, Vanjie’s so hot in drag, I almost start tothink I’m bi,” Brooke laughed. “So, when he looks all pretty and he’sperforming so well…” his voice trailed off as he kissed at Vanessa’s neck,eventually leaving a hickey. “It’s enough to displace a tuck here and there,”he hummed.

Everyone nodded in agreement, making it apparent thatVanessa’s attractiveness in and out of drag was a popular stance, and thequestions eventually started to die down after that, as the alcohol started towear off and sleepiness started to set in. It led to everyone stumbling out ofthe bus and holding onto each other – except for Brooke Lynn who was carrying abarely-conscious Vanessa fireman-style to the hotel room.

“They probably won’t remember any of that in the morninganyway,” Brooke mumbled once they got inside, passing out the second theirbodies hit the bed.

#branjie #branjie fic #Anonymous #s11t

[artificialqueens]

How Far I'll Go - Part 2 (Nina West/Monet X Change) - Meggie, Mia Ugly

A/N: We have reworked Chapter One to reflect the events of the S11 reunion, so you may want to give it a reread. Can we FIX IT? Yes we can. 

(TW: REUNION SPOILERS)

Nina is in Columbus on the day he gets the call.

It’s his last show before Drag Con. He’s already going through dog-withdrawal. His boys will be fine of course but he fucking hates leaving them; as soon as he starts packing a suitcase they know something’s up and it breaks his heart.

Anyway. He’s glad to spend his last night at home in one of his favourite places in the world, surrounded by the people he loves. It’s only been a few days since the finale and reunion, and Nina’s feeling a bit raw about everything. He’d be lying if he said he hasn’t looked at Monet’s number in his phone several dozen times, contemplated what he could say to make his behaviour the morning after acceptable. The only things that come to his mind are lies (family emergency! food poisoning! traumatic brain injury after falling in the shower!) and Nina doesn’t do that. Much.

So.

It’s either own up and confess how he was feeling, or - pretend that number in his phone doesn’t exist. Maybe stare at it from time to time, sighing (before reminding himself that it was just one night and didn’t mean anything anyway). And then sigh some more and distract himself with peanut butter straight from the jar. You know - whatever results in the least amount of dignity possible.

Anyway.

The reunion is going to air tomorrow night, but Nina’s going to be on a plane as it happens. That’s fine, he knows how it all went down, and he doesn’t really need to see Brooke and Vanjie’s shy little love story unfold (and ultimately self-destruct) once again. He saw it all already, and firsthand. Picked up the pieces of Brooke’s shattered heart and whip-stitched them back together as best he could while the other chain-smoked and wallowed in denial and blame.

Nina’s sitting in the dressing room, paint mostly on but not in his dress (he’s doing “Let It Go” from Frozen with a full-on ice queen reveal because it’s been that kind of a month. Maybe he’s coming for Brooke’s gig, but maybe not.), and scrolling through Instagram when an unfamiliar number flashes white on the screen.

He’s used to this. The charity work means somehow a lot of people get his number - it’s not ideal, but it makes the work he’s doing worth it so he deals.  He’ll deal.

He slides his thumb across the screen, plasters on his best smile (it’s easier to be nice to people when you’re smiling), greets them with a cheery, “Hello!”

“Nina, this is Maya with World of Wonder. How are you this evening?”

His heart leaps to his throat. What could they want with him now? There are still two episodes of the show left to air, but publicity is almost all died down. And calling him instead of his manager?

“Good. Great!” he chokes out. “I’m… How are you?”

“Fine, thank you. I’m calling because I’d like to formally invite you to participate in season five of RuPaul’s Drag Race All Stars.”

The world? Stops. His heart? Pounds. His brain? Freezes.

All Stars . Another chance. Redemption.

“Yes!” he says immediately, too quickly, too enthusiastically, as soon as he can make his mouth work again. “Yes! When?”

On the other end of the line, Maya laughs, high and clear.

“Yay, that was an easy sell. We’re excited to have you back! We’ll be filming in late July, and you’ll receive further instructions by email. But please do remember that the terms of your verbal contract start now, so no one other than your emergency contact will be allowed to know you are participating. Reach out if you need anything, okay?”

“Okay. Thank you!”

“Looking forward to seeing you again, Nina. Enjoy the rest of your night.”

And with a click, she’s gone. But Nina’s entire world has shifted on its axis. He just stands there in front of the mirror, unable to move, unable to think.

All Stars.

When they’d first asked him about it, way back in January when the Season 11 girls had first started doing promos, he’d given them a tentative yes.  He knew how big the platform was and wanted to make the most of it. But he’d also… not wanted to count his chickens, or something. You never know how America (or the world) will react to you (just ask Silky).  Maybe it’s vain, but Nina had wanted to see if they liked him, really liked him - like he’d hoped they would.

He couldn’t have imagined AOC going live to protest his elimination. Or Leslie Jones being so angry (he really does hope someone sent her a box of cookies) or Rihanna (Rihanna!) coming to his defense after that controversial lip-sync. Then his Miss Congeniality win. It was almost too much all at once.

He’d also figured they meant an All Stars far, far away. Like. Season eight. Or nine. Maybe even ten (if he’s still able to stomp around in heels without a walker at that point). Right after his own season? A pipe dream.

But it’s here, and it’s happening, and he’d be foolish not to take the opportunity that was presented to him. It’s the ultimate redemption story, and look at how beloved the All Stars winners are.

He ticks through them in his head: Chad, Alaska, Trixie, Trinity, Monet…

There, he falters. He usually just tries not to think about Monet, glowing golden and dripping in sequins and body silky smooth against his own. Best not to dwell when there isn’t any peanut butter in sight.

But who needs peanut butter when you’re an All Star?

He giggles, straight up lets a gleeful laugh reverberate through his chest and up through his nose and spread like honey, coating every surface in the small dressing room. Just once though, before he falls silent again. Studies his reflection in the mirror.

He might be in shock.

“Nina, you okay?” The evening’s MC (Luz, lovely person, really involved in the trans youth movement) is looking at him curiously from the doorway of the dressing room.

Nina blinks.  The phone is still in his hand. He knew this was a possibility, of course.  Just - you don’t know until you know - you know? Part of the reason he’s gotten this far (he always tells himself) is that he never assumes anything is a certainty.  He always counts on having to fight his way those last few feet to the finish line.

“Nina?”

“I’m in All Stars,” Nina says.

“What?” Luz squeaks, and Nina stumbles forward, grabbing her arm.

“I’m in All Stars.”

The other queens in the greenroom turn their heads in unison at the statement.

“I’m in All Stars,” Nina says again.

The queens stalk over to him with their hands on their hips, heels clicking in synchronized stomps on the linoleum floor.

And then Nina can hear music. (When did he put on his gown?) A brass band, a string section.  And the queens start singing:

“Nina West you’re going places

Always knew you’d make it far

Nina West you got that phone call

You are our All Star!”

“I am!” Nina gasps as he’s lifted up by the queens and carried out into the middle of the club. The dance floor is crowded but somehow the patrons are making a circle around him, moving in perfect rhythm.

“Nina West, sent home too early

Still e-lev-en-gendary.

Time to show the world you’re more than

Miss Congeniality!”

A group of drag kings by the pool table start spinning their cues over their heads like batons (so much talent in this community!)

“Brought camp to the masses, ” they sing in baritone.

Brought pride to our town,

We can’t wait to see you

Wearing that All Stars crown!”

“Thank you!” Nina is set down on the stage. Glitter starts falling from the ceiling, catching in his wig and eyelashes.

“Love you all,” he sings alone to the enraptured crowd, “you are my family,

I’ll make you proud and do my best.

We can change the world together

Go big, be kind, go West!”

“Go West!” the crowd sings back.

“Go Wessssssst!” Nina hits a perfect falsetto high note, throwing his arms open -

“Nina.”

Nina waves at the cheering crowd -

“Nina!”

Glitter keeps falling like snowflakes, ice cold and shimmering -

“Nina.  You okay?” Luz, the evening’s MC, is staring at him in the doorway of the greenroom.

Nina looks at her. There is no glitter in his eyelashes. There is no music playing in the background. Over his shoulder, a couple of bored local queens are penciling on their eyebrows. He’s wearing an old t-shirt and a pair of khaki shorts and not the shimmering blue Elsa gown.

He’s still holding his cellphone in his hand.

“Um,” Nina says. “Yep.”

*****

Nina talks to Brooke a lot.

It makes sense; they’ve been friends for a long time, they really bonded during their season, Nina helped Brooke through his breakup with Vanjie (although Brooke insisted at the time he was fine. Still does, actually. Nina has his own theories about that, but he isn’t pushing).

So yeah. They chat. A lot.

And all Nina wants to do is tell Brooke about his All Stars call, but he can’t because of the damn NDA.

It’s frustrating.

They meet for breakfast early on the first day of Drag Con, Brooke in his customary black and white, Nina in a navy blue button up spotted with pink flamingos (it felt right).

They’ve no sooner settled into the booth and given their orders than Nina’s knee starts bouncing. Nerves. Anxiety. (Yes - both.)

“What’s with you?” Brooke asks while he sips his coffee. “I don’t think I’ve ever seen you this worked up.”

Nina shrugs. “Nervous about the Con, I guess.”

“And?” Brooke’s eyes narrow.

“ And?”

“And what else?” He stirs another packet of sugar into the cup. “I know you. It’s not like you to be nervous about a networking opportunity.”

Nina scoffs. “Drag Con is way more than just a networking opportunity and I -”

“You’re a bad fucking liar. Takes one to know one.” Brooke leans his elbows on the table, cool as a Canadian autumn, presses his fingertips together, stares Nina down. “What’s going on?”

Nina sighs. “I wish I could tell you, trust me, it’s not that I don’t want to; it’s that I literally can’t.” He widens his eyes, hoping maybe Brooke will get the point.

Apparently it works, because after a few moments, recognition blooms across Brooke’s face and he laughs. “Really? Like. Officially really?”

Nina nods. This is okay, right? He’s not technically breaking the contract. It’s not like he told Brooke anything verbally.

“Nina! That’s - oh my god!” Then Brooke is busily tapping away at his phone and a sense of dread overcomes Nina.

“You can’t tell anybody - “

Brooke waves him off. “I’m just telling Vanjie.”

Okay, that’s - something to come back to certainly, but - more pressing matters first. “Brooke, seriously. You can’t tell anybody. I’m not supposed to tell anybody.”

“You didn’t.” Brooke shrugs. Good to know at least they share the same sentiment about verbal contracts. That might come in handy during litigation. “I figure the House of West has a lot of prove, and you’ve never backed down from a challenge. So I know you’ll bring it and… I just kind of wanted to give the competition a heads up.” He bites his lip and waits for Nina to process.

And - look, it takes him a minute. Because it’s really a lot of information at one time.

Item 1: Brooke and Vanjie are still close. He knew that. Everybody with Twitter and Instagram knew. (Hell, for a little while, even Nina wasn’t 100% sure they weren’t still together.) Close enough for Vanessa to tell Brooke about an All Stars call when legally sworn to utmost secrecy?

Yeah, actually, that tracks. Vanjie’s shit at keeping secrets, and he’s still indescribably in love with Brooke, only an idiot (like Brooke) wouldn’t see that. So. Do the math.

Item 2: Vanjie is back back back on Drag Race. For the third season in a row. And the bitch can turn it. Nina doubts very much there will be 47 swimsuits, pasties, panties, and bras this time around. He’s a little intimidated, if he’s being quite honest.

Okay, so it’s really only two points of information, but it’s two very large points that have a big, pointy impact on his life. Which leads to:

Item 1: Nina had been relieved and happy when Brooke and Vanessa were able to start talking again after the breakup. They’d been using him as a middle man - a mediator, he preferred (far less tacky) - and although he loved them both, it was exhausting. And he could only say, “I think you should just talk to him and not me,” so many times before he got frustrated. But he had persevered and eventually, Brooke had texted Vanjie and they’d started to repair their friendship.

Go figure that. Nina’s inner saboteur is back, has been back since the night of the finale taping, the night he spent with Monet. He hates it. Wishes he could cut into himself and carve it out like a cancer. Adults talking through their issues and handling shit. Who knew it was possible?

So he should have texted Monet. Fine - it’s fine. Water under the… thing.

Item 2: Who else is on All Stars? If Nina’s being really honest, he’s been on cloud nine about the whole thing, and hasn’t given much thought to who else could be competing. He has his dream cast, of course, and a long list of Ru girls he’d love to work with. But the thought of competing against the Very Best of the Very Best is… Well, he’s shook. To say the least.

His face must convey it because Brooke reaches across the table and takes his hand. “Hey. You deserve this, Nina.”

He nods, tears hot in his eyes, and wills himself not to cry. “I bet you told Vanjie the same thing,” he says, voice catching a bit in his throat.

“I did.” Brooke laughs, unashamed of his affection, even when it’s blinding. “I also told him he was crazy for doing three seasons in a row but…” He holds out his hands, shrugs, as if to say it isn’t his responsibility anymore. Nina knows he’s probably right, but deep down he suspects that Brooke and Vanjie are far more entangled than they like to think, and Brooke’s opinion means more to Vanessa than either one of them will care to admit.

Relationships are messy.

Anyway.

“Do you think I should have said no?” Nina asks,  afraid for the answer. “Taken a break? Focused on the charity? Ridden the first-year wave a little longer?”

“Hell no!” Brooke responds immediately. “Take the opportunity. People fucking adore you, Nina. Plus, look at Monet! She won right after her season so. It can be done.”

Nina considers, briefly, telling Brooke about the whole tangled Monet thing. Decides, instead, to deflect. “So, um. That guy you took back to your room after the finale… the beardo… character.  How is… that going?”

Brooke raises an eyebrow at him. “This is really what you want to talk about right now?”

“It’s just good to see you moving on.” (Is it though? Is it really?)

Brooke rolls his eyes and smiles into his coffee. “What about you? Any romance on the horizon for Nina West?”

“No.” Nina snorts. “It’s been…” Three days, eight hours, and - he glances at his watch - one minute. Approximately. Not that he’s counting. “A while. Let’s just say a while.”

Brooke’s mouth quirks to the side and his left eye twitches the tiniest bit. “Well.” He places his mug on the table and smiles at Nina. “I’m sure you’ll have plenty of opportunities on tour. We’ll get you on Tinder and Grindr! Trade in every city, Nina.”

Actually, Nina usually prefers to go back to his room and shower for about 45 minutes before collapsing into bed and sleeping until his alarm goes off the next morning. Finding someone to sleep with and then actually fucking them? That seems exhausting. Better to let Brooke take that one on himself (seems like that’s his preferred coping strategy).

And Nina is in no place to judge coping strategies, so despite any - concerns he might feel (the lines beneath Brooke’s eyes, the nicotine stains on his hands, that thing he does with his face that makes Nina want to hug him) he keeps his mouth shut.

He’s getting awfully good at the whole not-speaking-up thing. It’s not his best look. Not at all.

*****

On the air-conditioned floors of Drag Con, Nina gets to shake hands and hug people from all across the country, children to teenagers to tiny old grannies with walkers. It’s a completely surreal and humbling experience; he can’t get over the way it feels to have people know his name, people thank him for doing something that he loves.

And he gets to meet up again with so many of the queens he’s crazy about, queens he never thought would give a shit about him. It’s so nice seeing Adore again, she’s exactly the kind of person he wishes he had the guts to be when he was her age. And Peppermint is everything and Miss Fame is like an actual goddess in person as well as on television and then there’s James St. James -  it’s a lot.

It almost feels like a trip to Disneyland but gayer (a bit) and with more neuroses.

There’s a weird moment with Miz Cracker, which is unexpected –Nina’s been a stan since Season 10, watches her recaps religiously.  He didn’t think they were going to be best friends or anything (all right, maybe he thought they’d get there eventually) but when he introduces himself she basically stares right through him, says nothing, and starts to walk away. Luckily Vanjie is with her, so Nina embraces him to dissipate the awkward tension. He and Vanjie have a mini-meltdown over how in love they are with each other, and after Cracker is well out of earshot, Vanjie gives Nina a look.

“She feeling some type of way about you, hey? You steal her man or something?”

“Absolutely not.” Nina’s a bit hurt – he was legitimately excited about meeting Cracker – but she’s entitled to an off day. Or to just plain not like him (though who doesn’t like him? He’s bloody endearing, like a Labrador puppy).

Anyway, not to overdo the animal comparisons, but water off a duck’s back.

He doesn’t see Monet at the Con. Which is - probably for the best. Nina doesn’t avoid him but - he doesn’t go looking for him either. And really, he barely gets a moment to sneak away from his booth, so it isn’t like he’s a total garbage person. He doesn’t throw himself to the ground or anything at the sight of Monet coming toward him, his life hasn’t yet reached the level of pure farce.

It’s barely been a week anyway; Nina’s still figuring out how to appropriately apologize (appropriately apologize without coming across like a pathetic sad-sack who has maybe thought about that night a bit more than could be considered ‘casual’).

So. Space. Time. Possibly a time machine. All or any of them will work.

The Con ends on a high note and Nina basically goes on tour immediately after, doing a lot of PR for the season and his albums. In New York he finally meets Leslie Jones and loses his mind. He kind of floats through the next two months, lets himself be buoyed up by the love and support of his community, lets it erase the insecurities that wound like thorns around his heart after Season 11.

He travels, he makes people laugh. It’s what he’s good at. It’s how he’s survived.

When he’s not working, he’s practicing his sewing and designing and bribing his witchy seamstress friends into helping him put some new looks together. Somehow the days tick by too quickly. Spring ends, and summer breaks scalding over Ohio. Nina’s packing up his bags and hugging people goodbye and crying ( not really, but just don’t look at him for a minute) over his dogs.

And getting on a plane to L.A.

Being on set is familiar but also kind of panic inducing. Nina didn’t realize how differently he carried himself when he was getting ready to be filmed until his spine straightened helplessly and he suddenly realized he had arms. His body remembers how intense this experience was (is) even if his brain doesn’t.

He’s dressed in a (non-copyright infringing) version of Woody from Toy Story, sequined and cinched and proportionized, just like Michelle would want. Maya the P.A. hugs him, introduces him to the sound guy who hooks up his microphone, taping it just under Nina’s neckline (“At least buy me dinner first!” Nina says with a shrill, nervous laugh, and the sound guy doesn’t even flinch, clearly having heard it before. Nina may actually have said the same thing last season. It - might also have been the same sound guy).

“You ready?”

Nina is ready. He adjusts her cowboy hat, shifts her fringed leather belt and the sequined holsters for her bubble guns.

Then the lights are on him, and the cameras are rolling, and Nina pulls down the shutters on his insecurity (make ‘em laugh, it’s what he does).

“Hey y’all. I’m here to show you how the West was Won.”

Nina West struts into the werkroom, bubble guns at the ready, and the rest is herstory.

#rpdr fanfiction #nina west #monet x change #ninex #eventual branjie #eventual trixya #smut #angst #fix-it #canon compliant #musical #how far ill go #hfig #mia ugly #on set fic #concrit welcome #submission #meggie