#seeing her transition from being the only one who could always protect him to the only one who could kill him

[watchmakermori]

the table scene in attack on titan season 4 hits just as hard the second time. even though eren has already gone so far off into the deep end by that point, that’s still the moment where you’re like ‘WOW i really hate this motherfucker’

#that he treats mikasa and armin that way when his mardy ass would be dead 100 times over if not for them #it's an amazing scene but it hurts so bad seeing that trio fall apart #eren needs to fucking die for beating armin up as well. the audacity #and the things he says to mikasa are just so brutal #i know he does have mixed motives in saying it but jesus christ #it's absolutely inexcusable #this girl has lost her whole family twice and so many friends #she has done so much for eren and he treats her like dirt and it makes me FURIOUS #i don't know how attack on titan ends because I haven't read the manga #but if mikasa doesn't end up being the one to kill eren i think it would be huge wasted opportunity #seeing her transition from being the only one who could always protect him to the only one who could kill him #would be sick as hell thematically #attack on titan

[xxsabitoxx]

Pale Blue [Part Two]

Geto Suguru x AFAB Pregnant Reader

READ PART ONE HERE

Warnings: THIS FIC IS CANON COMPLIANT, if you are not caught up on Jujutsu Kaisen's manga, or at the very least if you have not seen "gojo's past" you WILL be spoiled. This story contains darker themes, heavier topics, pregnancy and all the lovely details of it, and lastly explicit sexual content. Read at your own risk!

A/N: Here she is, months overdue, but here she is. I know nobody will want to read my author note considering the behemoth before you but I just want to thank you for sticking with me for so long. I am, of course, already working on part 3 and will continue to work on it as I continue my hiatus. The only thing I ask of you is to take your time and enjoy! I know I am going to be returning to inactivity very soon but your comments, reblogs, and asks are always welcomed and always appreciated. I love y'all endlessly and I hope you enjoy it.

WORD COUNT: 36.1K | Playlist

September 2007

Two weeks had passed since you discovered you were pregnant with Suguru’s baby. Now you were sitting in a dull waiting room, blinded by fluorescent lights as you waited for your name to be called. Shoko had taken the news well, not that you expected her to be shocked in any capacity. She had said something along the lines of “I knew it.” when you had told her the next day, Satoru, who was  by your side, was slightly disappointed she didn’t have a bigger reaction. “Are you sure you don’t want me to go back with you?” Shoko had leaned closer to you, whispering so other people in the waiting room wouldn't hear. “I’m sure, Shoko. I’ll be okay.” 

It had taken weeks to see a doctor, mostly because she had been booked out. Your morning sickness hadn’t gotten much better, so you assumed you were still lingering somewhere in your first trimester. September was slowly coming to an end, with October looming on the horizon the world had slowly begun its transition to reflect that. This transition brought you the weather you really needed, allowing you to wear comfortable baggy clothing. “The perfect time to hide a pregnancy.” you had mused, much to Satoru’s disdain. Your leg bounced at the memory, your hand coming to rest on your stomach. It was a habit that you had picked up shortly after the test came back positive. You felt the urge to protect them, even though they were as safe as they could be, snuggling in your womb. There was truly no place safer for them right now. 

Things hadn’t gotten all that easier either, within the past two weeks, you had to live through the one month anniversary of Suguru’s deflection. It had been harder to swallow than you thought it would be, the sinking reality that four weeks had passed since you had seen his face was unbearable. Going from seeing him nearly every second of everyday to nothing at all felt as cold as the air at night. You had to wonder what he was doing at that very moment, maybe he was up making those girls breakfast. The idea of him being a father already, caring for those two little girls, it made your heart flutter and sink at the very same time. You wanted to be there, you wanted to help him, you wanted to tell him you were pregnant, that he got what he wanted. 

“Y/N Y/L/N?” 

You blinked back into reality as Shoko hit your arm, a nurse dressed in light pink scrubs was looking around the waiting room after calling the next name on her list. You nearly jumped out of your chair, motioning for Shoko to stay where she was as you got up and made your way over. You ignored the small grumble from her, it seems she had still intended on following you back for the appointment despite your reassurance of being okay to go alone. “Good morning dear, follow me.” You mustered the best smile you could in response,uttering a soft “morning” as she grabbed the door handle to enter the portion of the office that held the exam rooms. You went through the routine process, having your weight and height checked before being brought into a private room. It was different from other doctors offices, there was an ultrasound set up and various posters about sexual health and pregnancy scattered about. It made you feel a bit dizzy. 

“So we had you take a urine sample and get your blood while you waited, I have the results of the urine test but not the blood yet. That should be ready for you once the doctor is ready to come in and perform the exam… in the meantime let’s go over the basics” She was typing on her laptop as she spoke, looking at you briefly as you nodded. Your hands were clasped together in front of you, feeling cold and clammy at the same time. You shifted due to your nerves, the paper below you crumpling as you fidgeted. The nurse went through the basics, making sure your insurance information and home address was correct. “You’re in college?” she questioned absentmindedly, as if trying to make small talk with you. “No, not yet. I graduate high school in the spring.” You felt your face grow warm as she let out a soft “oh.” 

Luckily for you, she didn’t press further and hid her judgment within seconds. You kept your eyes trained on the floor as she continued her interrogation, getting your basic health and allergies on file before shutting her laptop and gracing you with a fake smile. “Alright then, that’s it for my portion of the exam. The doctor will be in shortly to discuss your results.” You nodded, thanking her quietly as she left the room. Silence rang in your ears as you were left alone with nothing but your thoughts. hands still clasped tightly together as you dragged your eyes away from the floor and observed the examination room. There were shelves on the wall with various pamphlets, all of them geared towards women's reproductive health and pregnancy. 

You used to laugh at those things when you were younger, wondering if anyone would even bother taking them. Now, you were tempted to get up and go grab a few for yourself. But as you moved, the paper crinkled so loudly that it made you still again. It reminded you of just how silent the godforsaken room was, it reminded you of how alone you were. Now, as you sat there, you wished you had just let Shoko get up and follow you back here. You needed someone to talk you off the ledge, it was likely Shoko would have been allowed back here with you,  considering most women brought their partners with them. It would have brought you two a good laugh for the nurses to assume you were a lesbian couple. 

You could hear Shoko now, coming up with some asinine plot to what the nurses probably thought was going on with the two of you. Probably contemplating who your “real” partner was considering Shoko couldn’t get you pregnant. Though, your partner still wasn’t aware of his child growing within your body. Suguru should be here in this room with you, sitting in the empty chair across from the exam table you sat on. He should have been filling this empty space with jokes about how nervous you looked, making you laugh and forget why you were scared in the first place. But he wasn’t. You were doing this alone. That was the part that hurt the most, because this whole “doing it alone” thing was your choice. 

At some point during your storm of emotions, you had begun to blame yourself for Suguru not being with you. Your brain took the liberty of twisting the events in your mind so harshly that they had deteriorated all together, you couldn’t recall the truth anymore. Somewhere along the way, you had convinced yourself this was your choice, that Suguru wasn’t here because you were keeping him away. A quick couple of knocks on the door signaled the doctor’s arrival, effectively pulling you out of your forlorn daze. “Good morning, how are you?” A short, plump woman entered the room with a cheery smile, one you couldn’t help but return. “I’m alright.” Which was pure bullshit, but she didn't really need to know your whole life story. 

“Ah, that’s better than most answers.” she chuckled to herself, setting her clipboard down on the counter and reaching for soap so she could wash her hands. You found yourself flinching, suddenly feeling bad for lying to a woman who hadn’t known of your existence until walking through that door only seconds prior. “I have the results of your blood test…” she started, scrubbing her hands until they turned visibly soapy. “If it were bad news, I’d be telling you a lot more formally than this. However, your results were looking very good! You’re definitely pregnant.” You let out a shaky sigh of relief, hand resting over your stomach again as you smiled. “That’s wonderful news.” because, despite everything, it really was. You could now look at this as a shimmering ray of hope peaking out among your storm clouds. 

The doctor smiled, turning off the water and reaching for paper towels. “Your results indicate you are roughly around the eleven week mark. You’re nearly done with your first trimester.” That was a bit jarring to you, and by the look on the woman’s face, she could tell. “It’s not unusual for some women to go a while without realizing, some women don’t even know they are pregnant until they go into labor and assume it’s kidney stones. Have you missed your cycle?” She was pulling blue gloves over her hands as she spoke. So much information being thrown at you that you had to blink for a moment before uttering  “I’ve been going through some things in my personal life, I suppose my last cycle was sometime in June then… I assumed it was stress.” 

“That would line up with the HCG levels, you likely got pregnant early to mid-july. But don’t worry, I should be able to pinpoint it a little more accurately with an ultrasound.” Your heart skipped a beat, you hadn’t expected to see your baby this soon. You watched her move to turn on the machine, brows creasing as you began trying to shift through your hazy memories. You figured it was likely useless to try and pinpoint when Suguru could have gotten you pregnant, because the damage was already done at this point. You realized you hadn’t responded, clearing your throat a bit as she walked over to the machine and began turning it on. “So, I’ll be entering my second trimester soon? I-is it alright that I didn’t know for this long? I-is the baby okay?” You felt your lip tremble as you spoke, suddenly more anxious than before. 

“Oh honey…” the doctor stopped what she was doing and reached out a hand to place it over your own. “You are perfectly fine, baby should be doing good too. We’ll get to hear their heartbeat in just a few minutes and I’ll be able to give you a rough timeline for the rest of your pregnancy. I can assure you, it’s okay that you didn’t know until recently. We’ll get you on some prenatals and other vitamins to keep you and baby in tip-top shape.” Her presence was grandmotherly, it set your racing mind at ease. Mentally you would have to remember to thank Shoko for finding this woman for you. “Thank you.” you breathed out as she placed some of her supplies on the metal tray beside the exam bed. You had so much you could say at that moment but thanking her was the only thing that would come out. “No problem, honey.” 

A few beats of silence passed before she spoke again. “Alright, I’m going to have you lay back and lift your shirt for me, pull down your sweatpants a bit as well.” You took a shaky breath, nodding as she moved around the table to flick off the main lights. The exam room was left in a golden glow from the small lamp on the desk in the corner, paired with the fluorescent-ish glow from the ultrasound screen. You did as she instructed, lifting your shirt and pushing down the waistband of your sweats so your stomach was no longer obstructed. “The gel is going to be a little cold, but it warms up quick.” Your throat felt dry, so you nodded, hands clasping tightly together to rest on your chest as you watched her squirt some of the clear liquid on your abdomen. “I’m also going to have to press down a bit, which may cause some discomfort at first but I assure you that the baby is safe while I do this.” You nodded again, mouth feeling too dry to respond verbally at that moment. “Alright, let’s see your baby.” 

You gave a shaky smile, eyes immediately focusing on the black screen as she pressed the ultrasound’s wand to your stomach. You flinched a bit before getting used to the feeling of the wand pressing so deeply. “Sorry, honey. At this stage the baby is so small that we really need to get in there… if this doesn’t pick them up then I may have to do an internal ultrasound.” She was walking you through each step, which you were abundantly grateful for. After a little bit of searching, she let out a happy sigh as something small and vaguely baby shaped appeared on the screen. “There they are! At this stage they are just starting to kick and stretch, but they are too little for you to feel it yet.” You couldn’t breath, eyes zeroing in on the tiny little thing that was your child. The doctor was smiling, using her other hand to take pictures and measure. 

“Ah, what an over achiever, they are nearly two inches in length right now! They are measuring a little ahead.” You couldn’t help but smile, eyes turning a bit glossy. “Just like their daddy, he’d be so proud.” The words felt foreign but at the same time they felt just right, your head would surely implode if you dwelled on it for too long. The doctor only chuckled, clicking some buttons on the keyboard to snap more pictures as she moved the wand around your stomach. You were thankful she didn’t inquire further about the father, though you were sure it was probably against practice to ask such personal things outright. “Well, mama, would you like to hear their heartbeat?” You inhaled sharply, eyeing her suspiciously to make sure she wasn’t joking. “I-I would love to.” your tone was shaky, hands curling at your sides as she smiled. “Alright, one sec.” 

After a small stretch of silence, you heard it. Through the speakers, the strong and steady heartbeat of your baby met your ears. You let out a choked sob, the noise surprising you as your hand shot up to cover your mouth, it was probably the best thing you’ve heard over the course of the last month. You didn’t want it to end, you wanted to sit there on that table and look at your baby, hear their heartbeat, for as long as you possibly could. “They are doing wonderful, mama. It’s too soon to tell the gender, but the baby is doing great. You have nothing to worry about.” you nodded, heart aching a bit as she turned the sound off and pulled the wand away. 

“I’ll have those pictures printed so you can take them home.” She wiped the gel off of your stomach, tossing it in the trash before moving around the table to turn the lights on again. You sat up, wiping your eyes as you pulled your shirt down and readjusted your sweats. “That would be wonderful, thank you.” you chuckled a bit as she handed you some tissues for your face and nose. “Now that we’ve got all the fun stuff out of the way, I’m going to prescribe you some prenatals and other vitamins like we discussed earlier. If you’ll give me a few minutes, I’ll go get things in order so you’ll leave here feeling a little less overwhelmed.” You smiled, thanking her again as you resituated yourself on the table. She stepped out a moment later, still grinning. 

Once again you were “alone”, but this time it didn’t feel all that lonely.

—

“Did you really mean what you said last week?” You set your pen down, looking across your room to see Suguru sitting at your desk. You were both working on different assignments but still wanted to spend time together. “Hmm?” Suguru set his own pen down, turning his body to look at you where you sat on your own bed. “About… ya know… wanting to get me pregnant.” You watched a shy smile pass over Suguru’s face as he sighed. “Yeah… I meant it.” He started softly, hand coming up to rub the back of his neck. You had to chuckle at the fact that Suguru had stuffed an extra pen through his bun, just in case the other died while writing. “I guess you could say I have baby fever.” 

“Baby fever, huh?” you teased, putting your notebook to the side as you did. “Yeah, baby fever. I just… fuck I don’t know it’s been a thought on my mind for a while now. I keep seeing these happy families, their small children giggling and playing and… I started daydreaming about what it would be like to be a father. When I envisioned our baby, fuck my heart just melted.” he sighed, face turning a little red before he continued on. “I started thinking about how cute you’d look pregnant, how cute you’d be as a mom. How sweet it would be to hear their little voice calling you mama.” Your lips parted, completely entranced by the world he was painting you. 

“Suguru.” you stated rather bluntly, smiling as his head shot up to look at you. At some point in his rambling, he had begun staring into space, as if envisioning the things he talked about. “Y-yeah?” You laugh softly, crawling off your bed and crossing the small space until you stand before him. “Come here.”  You smile, hands gently cupping his cheeks and forcing his head to look up at you. “ I love you so much.” You started softly, thumb gingerly brushing along the plains of his cheekbone. Suguru swallowed, brown eyes observing every inch of your face. “I love you too.” He breathed, subconsciously leaning into your touch. “If you’re serious, if you truly want a baby…”

“I do.” 

Your lips parted before you smiled brightly, giggling a bit at his instant reassurance. “... then I am more than willing to try and conceive.”  You hadn’t intended for it to come out so seductive, but the way Suguru’s breathing hitched told you it had a dual effect. “Really?” You nodded, thumb still gently caressing his cheeks. “I know we’re young and all, but I think there is no time better than the present to chase your dreams.” You snorted at your own cheesiness, laughing as Suguru’s arms came around your waist to hug you tightly. “Thank you.” his voice was soft, just above a whisper. “You know, I have to ask, Suguru… especially since you seemed to put a ton of thought into this.” 

“Yeah? Anything. Ask away.” You reached up and tugged the pen out of his bun, fingers moving to delicately pull his hair out of the bun itself. You always enjoyed it when he had his hair down. “What was the moment that made you realize it was more than just a desire, that it was something you actually wanted. I know you said you saw families and all that but… you’re a man of purpose. Something in particular egged you on and I’m dying to know what.” From the way his cheeks turned red, you knew you had hit the nail on the head. He wasn’t lying about the baby fever, but you knew him too well to know that it wasn’t just an accumulation of events. 

One thing in particular had been his “breaking point” of sorts. 

“Alright you caught me.” he sighed deeply, eyes glancing away from you before looking up again. “Remember that weekend I went home to visit family?” You nodded, hands sliding down to rest on his shoulders. Suguru’s arms opened, allowing you to climb onto his lap as he spoke. “Well, my cousin had just had her baby a few weeks prior. Since she knew I was coming home to visit for the weekends, she came over with her new baby to introduce us.” You nodded again, humming thoughtfully as you twirled some of his hair around your fingers. “I don’t think I’ve ever held a baby before.” He added, cheeks a rosy pink instead of flaming red. 

“And when she put that little baby in my arms I… fuck I just melted.” 

He swallowed, finding it endearing that you were so invested in every word he spoke. “I just remember thinking that… there was nothing more special than that bond. The bond between mother and child… between father and child. I found myself imagining what it would be like to hold my own newborn… and I was serious when I said every time I envisioned it, they always looked like you.” He relaxed a bit when you leaned forward, pressing a chaste kiss to his cheek before pulling away again. “That’s a beautiful reason, you know.” You hugged him after saying it, letting your chin rest on his shoulders as his arms encompassed your waist and squeezed. 

“I want to be a dad, I’ve known that from the very moment I held that baby. But I… if you aren’t ready… I don’t want to force you to do anything.” The vulnerability in his voice made your heart squeeze, it was very rare that Suguru was openly shy about something. “No time better than the present, ya know.” You whispered it again, feeling his breath stutter as you spoke. “Really?” he breathed out again, as if in disbelief that you were saying yes despite already agreeing once before. 

You nod, trying to contain your smile. “It’s not like it’ll happen right away, it takes time. Most couples have to try for a while before they strike gold.” 

“I guess that is true, there are a lot of factors that go into this… it’s a miracle that women are even able to conceive in the first place when you truly look at it.” you felt yourself giggling, finding it cute that Suguru had clearly put some research into this whole idea too. He wanted it, so bad, you couldn’t bear the thought of not trying to give it to him. “So… what do you say, shall we start now?” you pulled away from his hug, grinning deviously at him. “Right now?” Suguru looked shocked, eyes wide and lips slightly parted before he was able to collect his thoughts. “Yeah, right now.” studies could wait, of course they could. Suguru knew that just as well as you did. 

Suguru answered you with a kiss, lips melting against your own as his hands clung to your waist. 

—

“So this… is the baby?” Satoru’s glasses hung low on his nose, blue eyes observing the glossy paper intently. “Yep, that’s the baby.” You were laying on the couch, head resting on Shoko’s lap as she absentmindedly played with your hair. “Are you… sure?” Satoru was having a difficult time comprehending that the white, vaguely human-shaped blob on the glossy sheets of paper was a baby. “Positive, Satoru. They don’t start looking like a real human until around the twenty week mark.” Satoru shot you a glance over one of the photos, a smile tugging on his lips as he spoke “So what you’re saying is you’re carrying an alien for a while.” This time it was Shoko to interject, shooting Satoru a glare as she threw her lighter at him. “Be nice, Satoru.” 

You, on the other hand, had begun to laugh. “I’ll take away uncle privileges, Satoru.”

“Hey! Let’s not get too hasty there, Mothership.” Satoru looked mildly offended at the idea of you pulling his uncle privileges before he could even get them. You sat up now, eyes meeting Shoko’s before you burst out laughing. “Did you just call me mothership?” You would be offended if it was anyone other than Satoru using the nickname. “...Maybe.” Satoru had set the photos down on his lap, no longer holding them up to examine like he was looking for a hidden secret. “You’re so mean, Satoru.” Shoko sighed, sad that your warmth was no longer on her lap. “She’s laughing, Shoko!” Satoru tried to defend his honor, it was still a rare sight to see you laughing. 

“What is with all the commotion?” The three of you fell silent instantly, heads turning to see Yaga enter the common room. You had yet to inform the principal of your pregnancy, he had absolutely no idea that you were carrying Suguru’s baby. You had intended on telling him after you told Shoko the following morning, but you chickened out and had yet to find the courage. “Nothing major, just hanging out.” Careful as possible, Satoru was sliding the ultrasound pictures behind the arm of the couch so Yaga couldn’t see them. Luckily for the three of you, his eyes were mainly focused on you. “I hadn’t heard your laugh in a while, y/n. I thought you may have lost it.” 

“Ah, well, leave it to Satoru to find it for me again.” You smiled, an almost real smile that still felt foreign on your lips. You were certain you would never feel the joy of a real, genuine smile until Suguru was in your arms again. Though, that day may never come. You were still heavily weighing your options, knowing the choice you wanted to pick was the one that would cost you the things you had within your reach. Your love for Suguru would never blind you from the fact that you loved Shoko and Satoru just as dearly… at least you hoped it wouldn’t. “Ah, he’s good for something I suppose.” His tone was teasing, earning snickers from both you and Shoko. 

“You wound me, principal!” 

Yaga just shook his head, smiling a bit before moving to leave the room. “Remember, you three, I’m always a call away.” You all shared a knowing glance before nodding your heads. With that, Yaga left the common area, leaving the three of you to relax again. Satoru was careful as he pulled the ultrasound pics up again, looking them over one last time before folding them neatly and reaching across to give them to you. “That was close.” he offered with a grin as you took them and set them face down on the coffee table. “It was, but you managed to hide them well, Toru.” You grinned as you settled back again, lying comfortably with your head on Shoko’s lap. 

“See, Yaga isn’t wrong, he is good for something.” Shoko laughed as Satoru rolled his eyes, flipping her the finger before reaching for the lighter she had chucked at him. “You seem to forget I can keep this.” He taunted her with her favorite lighter, you weren’t even sure why she threw it in the first place considering Satoru’s infinity was able to block it. It had bounced off of his barrier and landed on the couch cushion beside him. Again, you three were lucky that Yaga hadn’t seen it, he was pretty convinced Shoko had given up on the smoking habit. “Give it back, Satoru, I’m too comfy to have her moving.” You whined as Shoko tried to get off the couch. 

“You heard the pregnant lady, give it.” Shoko taunted, knowing she had already won the battle thanks to you. “Fine, fine, here.” he tossed it over, uttering out “nice catch” as Shoko caught it with one hand. “So, back to business.” Shoko smiled as she twirled the lighter around her fingers. “How are we telling Yaga that little miss here is pregnant with the problem child’s baby?” You made a noise of annoyance at Shoko’s words, smiling a bit as she raised her eyebrow at you. “Well, I don’t think it will be easy telling anyone… Besides you, Shoko. You took the news like a champ.” Satoru was still reeling over how calm she had been about the whole thing. 

—

“Are you sure you want to tell her right now?” Satoru was buttoning his uniform top, you two would still have to continue on with your lives like it was any other day. “She needs to know, there is no way I could keep this from her.” She basically already knew, but you couldn’t say that to Satoru yet. Just in case Shoko had the opposite of the reaction you were anticipating. The whole concept still felt foreign to you, so did the fact that it felt natural for your hand to rest on your abdomen. You didn’t think you should be adapting to this so quickly, then again what were you supposed to do? 

“I know that, I’m not saying we never tell her. But you still seem to be pretty in shock over this.” 

“Which is exactly why I need to tell her.” If anything goes wrong in your life, Shoko has always been the person you ran to. It wasn’t until Suguru left that you had started running to Satoru instead. Part of you felt guilty about that, like you were leaving her in the dust. She knew you and Satoru’s pain just as well, it hurt you to know you had started seeking comfort in him rather than her. “If you insist, I’ll back you up all the way.” he grinned as you pouted, feet kicking idly. 

You had snuck off and gotten dressed before he even woke up. Now all that was left was to rip off the band-aid and reveal to Shoko that she had been right all along. “I’m glad you aren’t scared of Shoko’s wrath.” you laughed as you pushed off of his bed, shuffling to the door with a grin. “I’m not the one that got you pregnant, her wrath isn’t directed at me.” You felt your cheeks grow warm as you shook your head, pushing his door open and heading into the hall. “You’re too blunt sometimes, Satoru.” You felt mildly embarrassed about how he put it, that and an odd sense of possessiveness. 

“Well it’s the truth, Suguru is the one that knocked you up.” He shrugged as he followed you out into the hall, turning to shut the door just as you reached up and smacked his shoulder. “And you’re fucking vulgar! Be kind!” your tone was a mix of teasing and annoyance, one Satoru knew quite well. If he had to work you up to get glimpses of your old self, then so be it. “I am being kind, you’re just being sensitive.” risky thing to say to a woman, nevermind a pregnant woman. 

“You are a menace, Gojo Satoru.” You huffed, crossing your arms to glare at him as he replied with a sheepish grin. “Hey, sorry, I can’t help it sometimes. You’re just so easy to tease.” He made a kissy face at you, watching your nose scrunch in amusement before turning to head down the hall. “I’ll have to work on making things harder for you, Satoru.” You sighed as he whistled. “Don’t quite know how Suguru would feel about that.” He was laughing when you turned to swing on him, a smile pulling at your lips as he blocked you. “A menace and a perv… I’ll start sharing Shoko’s bed.” 

“Hey! No way! You’re so warm, I like having you in my bed.” Satoru pouted, as if you were a cat looking to find a new home. “Eh, don’t know how Suguru would feel about that.” You mimicked him, smiling widely now as he rolled his eyes. “I guess you’re right.” Ever since you realized, it has become a little easier to say Suguru’s name. You had to wonder why, your emotions were still a stormy mess but… speaking about him didn’t really hurt that bad right now. Maybe you were just riding on a high of emotions, but compared to the low from the night before… you had doubts. 

“Shoko!” you knocked on her door, glancing back at Satoru as he shoved his hands in his pockets. He was pretty sure he was masking his anxiety well, but you knew better than anyone that Satoru was mentally shitting his pants at the idea of informing Shoko about your predicament. “One minute!” Her voice rang from the other side of the door, mildly surprised in tone to hear you. She had expected Satoru, just as she had been expecting him every morning to go pull you out of your depression pit dorm room. For you to be at her door too… something was up. 

“What’s with the welcome party?” Shoko’s door swung open, eyes traveling over the two of you with a quirked brow. “Got some news for ya…” you started bold, not missing the way Satoru inhaled sharply. “News for me? About?” she had no idea where you could be going with this, but she assumed any direction you took would lead to Suguru somehow. “Well you see… that conversation we had yesterday…” and Shoko knew immediately. “Shoko, I’m pregnant.” 

“Oh, okay.”

“That… you’re fucking kidding me! That’s IT?” Satoru looked completely appalled at the woman’s casual response. You were a bit surprised yourself but that didn’t stop you from laughing at Satoru’s over reaction. “Yeah, that’s it. Am I supposed to scream or something?” Shoko was stepping into the hall, turning to shut her dorm room’s door before turning back to face you and Satoru. “So what do we do now?” Satoru couldn’t believe it, from the gut wrenching sobs you had made, he half expected the world to implode when it was time for you to tell another person. 

So…when it didn’t… he couldn’t quite get over it. “That’s a great question, honestly I have no idea.” You sighed, feeling a little antsy as you turned to walk down the hall. “Ya know, this isn’t fair.” Satoru pouted, arms crossing as he followed after you with no hesitation. “What isn't fair?” Shoko questioned as she fell into step beside you. “That you got the easy reveal and the easy reaction. She nearly gave me a fucking heart attack last night! I mean really I felt my balls shrivel.” 

You nearly tripped over your own two feet at that, laughter so genuine bubbling out of you that it made the previous night feel like a distant memory. “Ew TMI Satoru.” Shoko plugged her nose, sticking her tongue out as the three of you made your way down the stairs and out to the sunny day ahead. “It’s the damn truth.” Satoru mumbled under his breath as you pushed through the double doors, shoving his sunglasses further up his face in an attempt to block out the blinding sun. 

“I mean I’ll side with him this time, Shoko. I really did scare the life out of him. I thought he was going to faint.” You had collapsed into his arms, if anyone was about to faint, it would have been you. “That’s only half true.” Satoru mumbled in defeat, throwing himself down on a picnic table bench and watching as you and Shoko clambered into the other side. “It’s not important right now, what’s important is trying to figure out what the hell I’m supposed to do now. I don’t want anyone knowing besides the two of you. Not Yaga, not Utahime, Meimei, Nanami…” 

“We get it.” Satoru stuck his tongue out, feeling far cheekier than usual this morning. Maybe it was because he was still partially convinced he had smacked his head and this was all a dream. “So rude this morning, Toru~” there was a hint of a smile on your face though, one that had the tips of his ears burning pink as you turned to look at Shoko. “The first thing we need to do is get you a doctor. If the tests came back positive, it still needs to be confirmed with blood work. Along with that they need to make sure the baby is actually growing.” Shoko pulled out a pack of cigarettes as she spoke.

“Okay, so, doctors is the next step… then what?” Satoru questioned, watching the flame ignite on the end of Shoko’s lighter. “Then I grow the baby till they are ready to be born.” You said in a bored tone. You knew what Satoru was implying but you weren’t ready to cross that bridge yet. Suguru needed to know, you were still hanging onto that fact. You couldn't do this without him. “Oh gee I would have never guessed.” Satoru deadpanned as he snatched Shoko’s pack, ignoring her glare as he also snatched her lighter. “I’m not in the mood to discuss that part yet, Satoru.” 

Your tone was final, so much so that Shoko merely nodded, eyes glaring holes into Satoru’s head so he wouldn't dare push the topic. He swallowed his words, putting the cigarette to his lips before mumbling out “fine, I’ll drop it… for now.” 

—

The day had come and gone, night had fallen once more and you found yourself lounging in Satoru’s bed. He was showering at the moment so you had it to yourself, the dim light of the little lamp on his desk was just enough for you to admire the ultrasound photos. You had been looking at them on and off all day, still struggling to comprehend that it was your baby. “It’s crazy that you’ll continue to grow into a living, breathing, talking person. You’ll have your own personality, your own thoughts, your own voice…” you hummed softly, hand resting on your abdomen as you spoke to your baby’s pictures. It all felt so damn surreal. 

“I wonder what your daddy would think…” You felt your voice crack as you whispered those words out loud. Your heart was still aching from his absence, but with your child growing, it was hard to feel totally alone. Part of him was growing within you, you just needed him to know it. You straightened the moment Satoru’s bathroom door opened, wiping your eyes in an attempt to make it look like you were yawning instead. “Not visiting Shoko tonight?” Satoru smiled, white shirt hanging on his lean frame, a towel resting on his shoulders and collecting the water droplets from his damp hair. “Nah, she said she needed to get some stuff done.” 

“She’s such a procrastinator, the deadlines for those med-school applications are like two days from now.” You nodded, you weren’t quite sure how your friend intended on getting the seven applications done in time. “I highly doubt she’ll be truthful to them anyways.” You laughed, she was determined to get in with no prior college experience or any experience in the medical field save for her curse technique. But, if there was anyone who could cheat their way into med-school, it would definitely be Shoko. “She’ll somehow be fine… she always is.” Satoru chuckled as he moved about his room, picking up his towel to dry his white locks. 

With his back turned to you, he nearly whispered what he said next. “You’re sad again.” You felt your brows twitch before forcing them into perfectly maintained neutrality. “When have I not been sad, Satoru?” you tried softly, folding the ultrasound pictures neatly together again from their extended accordion strip. “You know what I mean, y/n. You were crying before I came in.” You stopped folding, inhaling shakily before turning to meet his gaze. “I wasn’t crying yet. You actually interrupted me, Satoru.” you weren’t even sure why you had been trying to hide it in the first place. There was no sneaking anything by him. Those six eyes of his were always on alert, always observant, even more so nowadays. 

Satoru was still quiet, his towel resting on his shoulders again as he turned to observed you. “I miss him terribly, Satoru. Nothing is going to fix that.” You could tell he was stewing on something, but he was holding himself back. “Say it, whatever it is you're thinking, say it.” This time, he looked mildly surprised, not used to being the one so easily read. “You’re not going to see him.” He stated rather plainly, but you could see his jaw clenching after he uttered the words out loud. You felt your stomach twist in the same way it had with your morning sickness… morning sickness you had become quite acquainted with at this point. 

“I didn’t plan on it.” You shot back, lying through your teeth like he wouldn’t be able to pick you apart in an instant. “Yeah, bull shit y/n. I’m not stupid.” You felt anger bubbling over the nausea, not particularly enjoying the way he was talking down to you. “Watch your tone, Satoru.” Dangerously low, full of promise. It was enough to snap him back into reality for a second. “Sorry.” he started “I’ll be more mindful. However, that doesn’t change my previous statement.” You felt your head tilting, eyes narrowing as you sized the strongest sorcerer up. “You do not get to decide what I can and cannot do, Satoru.” 

There, you finally said it, maybe it was very indirect but Satoru knew exactly what you meant with those words. He looked stunned, but at the same time if he had any fight left in him, he wasn’t going to push upon the matter. Your gaze didn’t soften, rather it continued to size him up until his shoulders sagged. “Forget I said anything, you’re right. I don’t get a say in it.” Yet, you could tell he was saying it just to maintain peace. You weighed your options, was it really worth giving up your sanity for a fight you weren’t willing to have yet? In the end, you swallowed your emotions, wondering if it was possible that your hormones were already causing mood swings. “We can discuss this when we are both ready… not weighed down by our own baggage.” 

Finally, your gaze had returned to its normal, slightly sad state. Satoru found that it was easier for him to breathe again, so he pulled the towel off his shoulders and turned to enter his bathroom. “I agree.” He called as he hung the damp towel over the top of his curtain rods, letting it air dry till morning so he could put it in the hamper to be washed. “Let’s talk about something else, yeah?” He emerged with a smile, the tension in the room subsiding considerably as you relaxed back into his covers, comfortable under his blankets. “Gladly.” You teased him, turning onto your side as he flopped down beside you. “Do you have any name ideas yet?” 

You blinked, not thinking that was the route he was going to take. “Oh-uhm… well I’ve certainly thought about it over the last two weeks. I don’t know if I want to find out their gender… I’m tempted to wait until they are born. Makes it more fun that way but… I’m eager.” You confess with a dreamy smile, one that has Satoru’s lips parting in awe for a moment before he quickly recovers. “I don’t know how you’d do it, I’ve been itching to know since you told me.” He confessed softly, eyes lingering to where your hand had found its new home. He didn’t think a day had gone by in these last few weeks where he didn’t see your hand resting on your stomach. 

“I don’t know if I’ll be able to do it, Satoru. When the time comes, when she asks if I want to know the gender… I don’t think I’ll be able to say no.” You laughed softly, you were indifferent to what your baby’s gender would be. You didn’t care if they were a boy or a girl, you would be over the moon with either. But you were dying to know so you could buy them things, settle on a good name, look at baby furniture… “Are you going to share the name ideas or are you keeping them a secret?” He questioned when he saw you were starting to space out. He had been keen on trying to ground you in the present lately. 

“Oh well…” you started softly, suddenly shy to share the names you and Suguru had discussed what felt like centuries ago at this point. “For a boy, we discussed names like Ren, Ritsu, Isamu… oh and we really liked the name Hajime.” For some reason it felt very intimate to share this information. “But of course… it all depends on what he looks like. We can pick any name we want but really you can’t make the decisions till you meet them.” Satoru nodded, “I would go out on a limb to suggest Satoru… pretty solid name in my opinion.” You started to laugh, slapping his chest lightly “You’re relentless, Satoru.” 

“I may be relentless, but you love me.” He countered as you rolled your eyes. “I, unfortunately, have to agree with that.” You smiled at him, settling further into the bed before he spoke again. “How about girl names?” Satoru questioned, genuine curiosity shining in his eyes. “Oh well, we have way more of those than we do boy names. Suguru is particularly attached to Ayame and Sachi.” Satoru felt his cheeks redden, it seemed that it was just now hitting him how intimate this moment was. “I rather like Sachi and Ayame too but I really like the name Hanako.” There were a few others but you knew those three were the top contenders for a baby girl. 

“I mean Satoru can be a unisex name…” He added softly, trying to lighten the mood a bit because this was all starting to feel way too personal. Not that he really minded, it was more for his sake than yours. Laying in bed beside you, discussing baby names, it was playing with his head. “It is fully a male name, I would not name my little girl Satoru.” You laughed softly, trying to stifle your yawn as you pushed his shoulder. “Okay fine, I’ll drop the Satoru name agenda… for now.” You just smiled at him, shaking your head in an attempt to ignore the way your eyelids were steadily dropping. “You’re trying to fight your sleep?” this time, Satoru pushed your shoulder. 

“I guess I am…” you yawned, eyes watering “... I just like talking to you, Toru.” You felt warm and safe snuggled under his blankets and under the gaze of his watchful eyes. “I like talking to you too but…” his voice had cracked, heat flooding his cheeks as your eyes closed a little more. “But you need your rest, you’re literally growing another human inside of you. I’ll be here in the morning.” You nodded, eyes nearly closed completely at this point. “I guess you’re right…” he couldn’t help but chuckle. “Always guessing and never just admitting I’m right… good night.” He finished in a way you couldn’t argue with, leaving you to just sleepily hum in acknowledgment. 

—

He would stay awake longer than he wanted to, simply to watch your chest rise and fall as you slept soundly. He would remind himself with every small flutter of your eyelashes that you were dreaming, you were alive, you were breathing. Most importantly, he’d try and make himself believe that you weren't on your way out the door, leaving him behind just as Suguru had. 

But he knew better, god dammit he knew better and he hated himself for it. 

He could see it, with each passing day, each passing hour, your heart was choosing its path. The path that led straight out of his life and into the arms of the man you really loved. How he wished it was him, how desperately, selfishly Satoru wished it were him that you loved. The guilt would gnaw at his chest, making it feel like someone was ripping his heart open tendon by tendon, the blood leaking out an inky black. So weighed down by his guilt that it was tainted. 

He had tried, for years he had tried to suppress it. But nothing in this universe could block out the love he held for you so deep in his chest that it took the air from his lungs. He loved you, with every fiber of his being, even now he couldn’t understand how he had gotten so close to you without cracking and shattering to the floor like fine china. Satoru knew that even a month ago, the idea of holding you as you cried would have seemed like an impossible task. 

Not because he couldn’t restrain himself, god he couldn’t even think of you in that way without feeling immense guilt. But because he didn’t think he would ever be able to let you go. Initially he had been right, he had struggled, albeit for a fraction of a second, but he had let you go. Had you told him two months ago that he would be falling asleep with you beside him, he would have fainted on the spot, he was sure of it. 

Because even though he finally had you beside him, it wasn’t in the way he truly wanted. 

The way he truly wanted would forever be unattainable, for you were not his to keep. You had been right, you had been so god damn right when you said that he had no say in what you could and couldn’t do… and it killed him. Fuck did it kill him in every way but literally. If he could, he would keep you by his side forever, away from the man he still considered his one and only best friend, he would raise your baby with you so you didn’t need Suguru to feel whole. 

But that was not the route you were going to take, and he knew it. He knew it was only a matter of time until you ripped his chest wide open and left him only a fraction of the man he was. Suguru already had one half of his heart, if you were to leave, you would be taking the only half Satoru had left with you. Leaving him with nothing, completely and utterly alone. Why couldn’t you see he was more than enough for you? 

He was convinced he could give you a good, if not better life than what Suguru could offer you. He could provide for you and your child and you would never have to lift a finger for the rest of your life. You wouldn’t have to be a jujutsu sorcerer, you wouldn’t have to work to make money. He could give you and your baby everything you could ever desire. It was a selfish thought, the selfish desire to have someone he couldn’t. 

Somewhere along the way, amid his heartbreak over Suguru, he had foolishly believed he could win your heart. As if Suguru’s deflection would suddenly make it easier, make it okay for him to pursue you. What a childish thought, what a selfish, naive thought. He loved you too much to put you in that position, he loved Suguru too much to betray him like that… even though Suguru had arguably done much worse. 

He inhaled shakily, watching your lips wobble as you must have dreamt about something. It grounded him for a moment, making everything in his room feel a little too real yet not real at all. Like he hadn’t been aware this whole time that he was alive, that this wasn’t some nightmare. For a moment, he was certain he would black out from the crushing weight of the realization. 

So he forced his eyes to close, squeezing shut so tight that colors and odd shapes began to blossom behind his eyelids. It didn’t help the way his chest had begun to rise and fall in a pattern that was starting to look like a panic attack. He didn’t know who to go to, he didn’t know who he could go to for help. The two people he always ran to were the two people he couldn’t. 

How was it possible he felt so alone when you were sleeping right beside him? How was it possible that he still ached for you when he knew you would take his heart and stomp on it. You were a ticking time bomb, and it was only a matter of days until your timer went out. So why wasn’t he savoring this? Why wasn’t he soaking in every second he had with you before you left? 

How was he already mourning you when you were right beside him? 

—

Late November 2007 

“It…It…” you huffed, trying to force the buttons of your white top together. “It doesn’t fit?” Shoko questioned with an amused face, watching you lose your breath as you tried to make the buttons clasp. Your stomach had grown considerably over the last few weeks, it was now becoming increasingly difficult to hide the fact that you were twenty weeks pregnant. “It–” you huffed out again, whining as the button you closed popped back open. Defeated, you flopped onto Shoko’s mattress, uttering out a weak “It doesn’t fit.” as she began to laugh. 

“Linen like this isn’t forgiving. You’re going to have to hope your jacket fits at least, or else you’ll be telling Yaga whether you want to or not.” You whine again, hands coming down to rest on the swell of your stomach. It had been an experience to learn you were pregnant a few months back, but to see and feel the physical proof of your child was even more surreal. You had managed to sneak past Yaga for the most part, something Satoru couldn’t even grasp. “Shoko, I give up.” She quirked an eyebrow at you as you struggled to get up. “Already?” 

“Yeah, already. I’m not going to be able to fit into my uniform and I don’t think I have the energy to try it.” The second trimester had been more forgiving than the first, but you had found yourself quickly running out of breath and stamina. It was only a matter of time until you had to take a break walking up a single flight of stairs. “I’m telling Yaga today. Fuck this.” With your white button up still only covering your breasts, you pushed out of Shoko’s bedroom and marched down the hall towards Satoru’s. 

“Satoru! Give me some clothes!” you yelled before even making it to his door, banging on it only once before he was pulling it open, visibly confused. “What in the hell happened to you?” He tried not to snicker, looking over your half-assed appearance. Luckily your uniform skirt was covering your ass but even then, it really didn’t fit you. “Give me some clothes, none of mine fit me anymore, Toru.” You pout, chest rising and falling a little faster than it usually did. 

“Alright, alright, come on in.” He pushed his glasses up his face, trying not to show any sort of amusement at the way your bump was fully out in the open. Turning, he made his way to his dresser and pulled out a knit sweater and some sweatpants. “They may be too big for you, we’ll have to go shopping later for a new wardrobe that fits you.” You caught the knit as he tossed it, you could have easily gone down the hall to your own room and gotten some of Suguru’s clothing. But, for some reason, you had chosen Satoru. 

He hated to admit it but it gave him butterflies. 

“I’m going to have to tell Yaga.” you grumbled as you undid the few buttons you had managed to get shut, tossing the garment to the floor a moment later. “Oh? We’re already at that point, huh?” Satoru leaned against his dresser, watching as you pulled his knit sweater over your head, effectively masking the fact that you were twenty weeks pregnant. “We are, I’m not in the mood to keep sneaking around him.” You shimmied out of your too tight skirt, whining as you kicked it away. You have certainly gotten more whiny and irritable over the last few days. 

Maybe it was because you were antsy, with each passing day your child grew. Meaning that Suguru was going on with his day to day life, completely unaware. You had finally decided on your resolve not too long ago, while showering one night in your own room. He needed to know, you couldn’t live with yourself if you grew this baby and birthed them without Suguru ever knowing. “Are we going the second you’re done getting dressed?” Satoru shifted his weight from foot to foot as you stepped into the pair of sweatpants he had given you. 

“Yep.” you were curt, worn out already from an action as simple as putting on clothes. “Do we even have a game plan?” Shoko’s sudden appearance made you both jump, your head whipping around so fast it would have been comical to the two of them if they didn’t know any better. Pregnancy mood swings were no joke, Satoru learned the hard way only a few days prior when teasing you and nearly losing a finger to your curse technique. “No, but I don’t see why I need to dance around the obvious. I tell him I’m pregnant and we move on.” 

You shrug, struggling to tie the string of Satoru’s sweatpants due to your stomach. “Here , let me.” Satoru closed the distance and easily tied the string in a quick knot, laughing a bit as you huffed out a thanks. “So you’re just going to drop an atomic bomb on the poor man and move on?” Shoko questioned curiously as she flicked her lighter. “Yeah, I am. And then the two of you are coming with me to go get maternity clothes.” You sigh, hand smoothing over your now barely visible bump, smiling a bit at the fluttering kick baby gave you. “Baby agrees, so no declining.” 

Satoru saluted you “whatever you say, sergeant.” That made you laugh, tension from your clothes not fitting melting off of your shoulders as you turned to leave. “Oh wow, so we’re going right now.” Shoko fell into step beside you as you marched down the hall, leaving Satoru to scramble and get his dorm door shut before following after you. “No better time than the present, I want to get an early start with my day… you know I’ve been tiring easier nowadays.” One thing you hadn’t fully been prepared for was the amount of physical changes your body would go through. 

Sure you knew the basics like your stomach would grow, your breasts would get bigger, you would get bloated… but you hadn’t thought about how strenuous the whole thing would be. Though, it made sense when you sat down in Shoko’s bed one night with your laptop. “Oh, so baby pushes all of my organs out of the way…” To which Shoko had made a fake gagging noise. You used it as a way to antagonize Satoru the next morning, watching the man turn a shade of green as you proudly explained why you had been losing your breath. 

“I guess that’s true… it’s almost nine in the morning so I assume Yaga will be in his office.” Satoru sighed as he walked just a step behind you, pulling out his flip phone to file through a few news articles as you three walked. “Good, that means he’ll already be sitting when he gets the shock of his life.” Shoko sighed, pocketing her lighter and unlit cigarette as the three of you left the dorm buildings and began walking through the courtyard towards Yaga’s office. “I mean, I don’t really think it's that big of a deal.” You shrugged, waddling slightly as you moved. 

“You’re carrying the black sheep’s baby, of course it's a big deal.” 

You glared at Satoru as he finally had enough space to walk beside you. “I don’t mean it in a bad way, it’s just… a lot has happened. The man already beats himself up over the whole thing and now one of his students who he has been trying to watch so diligently… has hid the fact that she’s like five months pregnant. That's even more of a mindfuck.” That made you stop walking for a second, your nonchalant attitude towards it all seemed pretty selfish now that you had heard what Satoru said. “I…shit…I didn’t think about it like that.” 

“Hey, it’s not your fault, you’ve had like three whole months to cope with this and sort things out. It's normal for you  now, sometimes it’s hard to see it from new perspectives once you’ve gotten so used to it.” Shoko had listened intently, eyes shifting between you and Satoru. “You’re awfully philosophical this morning, Satoru.” The white haired man immediately pushed his glasses further up his nose, cheeks dusting pink as he shrugged. “I dunno, I’ve just had time to think.” She dropped it, focusing her attention back on you as you seemed to inhale deeply. 

“I… I’m still telling him. I’ll be gentle with my delivery but I have to rip off the bandaid.” And with that you were walking past them again, leaving the two to follow behind you as you carried yourself with a new purpose. “Do you want us to go in with you?” Shoko asked softly as the three of you crossed the courtyard and entered the building “No… It's best for it to now be some sort of show.” You knew they’d find a way to listen in on the conversation anyways. “Alright but if we hear screaming or the thud of a grown man passing out, we’re coming in.” Satoru sounded uninterested but you knew him better than to believe his facade. 

“Yeah, got it.” 

With that, you were heading up the steps to the second floor. Yaga’s office was the last door on the left, you couldn't even collect your thoughts enough to practice what you were going to say. At this point, it was better to just let it happen naturally. Your hands smoothed over your covered bump one last time before you stood in front of his doorway “Here goes nothing, little one.” It was still comforting to you to know your baby was always with you. “Principal? Are you in there?” you knocked softly, hoping your voice carried through the thick wood of the door. 

“Y/N? Yes, I’m in here, come in.” You let out a shaky breath, pulling at Satoru’s knit to make sure your bump wasn’t visible at all. You pushed the door open, relishing in the feeling of the cold wood under your fingertips before stepping into his office. “Good morning, principal.” you spoke softly, shutting the door behind you with a soft click. Yaga was sitting at his desk, papers scattered over his desk and a couple resting in one of his hands. “Good morning, Y/N… is something wrong?” You rarely came to his office to speak with him, you knew that much would have his suspicions up within the first seconds. 

“Nothing is wrong…per say.” Your hands clasped behind your back. “But you need to tell me something, don’t you?” he questioned softly, setting the papers in hands down as you began to rock on your feet. It felt as if a swarm of butterflies were fluttering around your lungs, making it almost hard to breathe as you nodded in confirmation.  “Please, come sit.” but your feet wouldn’t move, gluing you to the small space where you were rocking back and forth on your heels. “Please, sir, I’m very antsy so I think it’s best for me to say this while standing.” 

“A-alright, Y/N you’re making me a bit nervous. So please…” He swallowed, hands clasping together on his desk as he looked at you expectantly. “...If it is about Suguru…” and you nodded, eyes downcast on the two chairs before his desk. “Listen, this… I don’t even know how to spit this out so forgive me if it’s harsh.” You cleared your throat, not liking how hoarse it was already sounding. Yaga didn’t answer, instead he nodded his head even though he could tell your focus wasn’t on him. “Suguru and I… we had been dating since our first year here.” 

“Yes, I know that much…” Soft and unsure, he couldn't quite understand where you were taking this conversation. Though he could certainly guess a handful of routes, what alarmed him most was the fact that Satoru and Shoko weren’t by your side. “We… We were very serious about each other, Principal. He always spoke to me about getting married, starting a family…” you looked up at him then, teeth worrying into the side of your cheek as you tried to get the next part out. Yaga’s forehead had creased in worry “Okay… Y/N have you had contact with him since?” 

“I- no, I haven’t heard from him since the letter he left me before he left. No contact sir, that’s not what I’m trying to get at anyways…” You huffed, hands unclasping and reaching up to rub your face as you grew frustrated with yourself. “Principal I… I’ve been hiding something from you for months now and I am no longer able to hide it any longer.” That had him straightening in his chair, eyes narrowing as he waited for you to continue. You took a shaking breath, knowing there were no words that would make this any less jarring for your principal. 

“Principal Yaga I…” carefully you grabbed the hem of Satoru’s knit sweater, pulling it tight so it hugged the swell of your baby bump. “... I’m twenty weeks pregnant with Suguru’s baby.” 

You watched as the man’s narrow gaze turned considerably wide before softening. “Oh…wow.” He cleared his throat, pulling the sunglasses that had been hanging low on his face off all together. You let the knit go slowly, hiding the bump again as your principal reached up to rub his eyes. “Are you… principal are you crying?” you sounded mildly aghast at the sight. “No no I…” but he was. After a moment he set his hands down, leaning back in his chair and crossing his arms. “I’m sorry I'm sure that’s not the best reaction to receive after telling someone you’re…” 

“Yeah it’s… well it’s not as bad as I feared.” you cut him off, laughing a bit because among all the emotions you could sense, anger was not one of them. “I’m sorry you felt the need to hide this from me for… damn nearly five months…” he mulled over the fact that you had said you were twenty weeks into this, well into your second trimester. “I just didn’t know how to go about it sir… only Shoko and Satoru are aware of my… circumstances.” Yaga nodded, muttering a soft “I figured that much.” before sighing heavily. “Suguru has no idea.” he spoke softly, watching you nod with a sad look on your face. “I found out two weeks after he…left.” 

So not only had you been dealing with the defection of your boyfriend -  whom you loved with your entire being - you had also been reeling with the news of your own pregnancy. “I… you’re so young and you’ve already gone through so much.” Yaga spoke more to himself than you, that didn’t stop you from trying to lighten the mood. “A complicated life comes with the job of being a sorcerer. You know that Principal.” You laughed, hands finding their home on top of the swell of your stomach. Seeing you smile eased some of Yaga’s concerns. 

“I suppose… I’m glad you were able to tell me. I… take it you won’t be fitting into your uniform from here on out?” he looked you over, recognizing the clothes to likely be Satoru’s. “Oh yeah, it’s not happening from here on out.” You laughed a bit “If it’s alright with you, I’ll be heading into the city with Satoru and Shoko to get some clothes that fit me… I can look for some clothes reminiscent of our uniform.” you laugh a little more, watching a smile crack on his features. “Or I could see about getting you a uniform altered to fit you as you grow. Either way you’ll need some normal clothing that fits you…” he sighed as you nodded.

“You three be careful, I know you’re all more than capable but… still.” He sighed, voice raising a little bit “If either of them get hurt, I’m blaming you, Satoru.” Behind you, the wooden door flung open. “Hey!” But, realizing he and Shoko had been caught for eavesdropping, Satoru’s cheeks flushed pink. You whirled around, bursting out in laughter as Shoko’s hand covered her own mouth in attempts of hiding her own giggles. “I stand by what I said… Now go, have fun.” He sighed, arms unfolding as he sat forward in his chair to continue mulling over paperwork. 

“Alright, thank you, Principal. I appreciate you for being so understanding.” 

He gave you a warm smile and a soft nod, watching you exit with the other two. Once Yaga’s door was shut with a soft click, once he heard your voices and feet fading down the hall, his smile dropped. “That poor girl…” he wasn’t mad that you were pregnant, nor was he mad that you had hidden it from him. He was more so sad that you had felt the need to hide it, especially regarding your circumstances with Suguru and all. 

Which opened a whole new can of worms, he couldn't quite believe that you would keep such news from Suguru… maybe that’s why he’d noticed Shoko and Satoru always by your side. 

Maybe it wasn’t just to support a dear friend going through heartbreak. Perhaps they felt it too, felt that you were going to slip through their fingers just as Suguru had. 

—

“Are you sure clothes shopping is the task you really want to complete right now?” Shoko puffed out smoke as she talked to you, navigating the busy sidewalks with ease as Satoru led the way. “It needs to be done, I can’t wear Satoru’s clothing forever.” Shoko understood that ideology and all, but you had been ready to blow your brains out this morning over a linen dress shirt not buttoning. At this rate, she was certain just about any clothing not fitting you would get you worked up like the world was ending. “She can borrow my clothes any time.” 

Satoru laughed as he looked back at you, finding it hysterical that even with the sweats tied, you had to keep pulling them up. At this point, they were nearly at your chest, relying solely on your stomach to keep them from falling down. “All due respect, Toru. I look like a fucking clown in these pants… your tops may not be safe from me but I need pants that fit.” Satoru shook his head, an amused smile as he finally found the clothing store you loved. 

“You can help yourself to my shirts and sweaters any time, Y/N. You know that.” You scrunch your nose, shaking your head a bit as you stop in front of a store he had walked right past. “I’ll try this one first.” You could hear Shoko laugh as the automatic doors open for you, Satoru’s feet slapping the pavement as he stomped back to where you were. “Don’t get pissy cause you strolled right by, Toru.” But he only grumbled, falling to the side as Shoko shoved him teasingly. 

You spent the next fifteen minutes browsing the racks, finding things in various sizes that you’d unfortunately have to try on. All the while, Satoru had found his home on a bench in the middle of the bustling store, his legs crossed as he sorted through things on his phone. “I think this one will be cute, but you’ll have to try it on in this size and this size.” Shoko handed you a knit sweater similar to the one you were already wearing, a smile on her face as she spotted something else. “We’ll have to find a proper maternity store.” 

Shoko mumbled as she filled through the racks again for the article of clothing in your size range. “Satoru, go see if they have a baby store around here.” Shoko ordered the man who didn’t move a muscle. “Yeah, no way.” You snickered as you dropped a few more items on his lap. Dutifully, he held them there with one hand while looking at his small phone screen. “I’ll just go ask one of the employees here.” you wandered off after saying that, hearing Shoko scold Satoru for making the pregnant woman go look for help. 

You moved with ease through the busy aisles, walking past the floor to length mirrors as you did so. Just beyond the windows was the busy sidewalks of downtown Tokyo, mid-day sun making it look much later than it was due to the shortening days. You weren’t sure what possessed you to be so observant as you walked the length of the store, really you should have been looking for an associate. But there, across the street, visible between the people passing by, was a person you would recognize anywhere. You felt your heart stop at the sight. 

You questioned it for only a split second, feet frozen in place as you watched two young girls come bouncing out of a cafe with drinks in hand. He smiled at them, a smile you had only been able to see in your dreams, before turning to head down the sidewalk with them in tow. It took you all of two seconds to collect yourself enough to move. Without thinking much beyond the fact that Suguru was across the street from you, you moved as fast as your feet could carry you without breaking out into an all out sprint. 

You couldn’t hear anything beyond the ringing in your ears, had you been able to you would have heard the confused calls of your name from Shoko and Satoru as they watched you run out the door. You couldn't breath as you moved down the sidewalk, eyes laser focusing on the back of Suguru’s head as he moved among the many bobbing heads. Your inability to breathe in that moment stopped you from calling out to him, though you doubt he would have been able to hear you anyways. Still, you pushed through the people flooding the sidewalk, not acknowledging a single disgruntled look as your feet carried you towards him. 

Move. Move faster. Fucking move faster!

You screamed inside of your own mind, ignoring the way your body screamed in protest from the amount of physical movement. For the first time in months, Suguru was in your reach and yet you couldn’t seem to close the distance. It was like some nightmare, no matter how fast you moved, Suguru never seemed to get any closer to you. Yet, you still saw the back of his head, he was still there, you wouldn’t give up until you couldn’t see him anymore. It was creeping up on you with each and every step, the deep rooted heartbreak from his departure. 

For some reason, it felt like you were ripping open a wound that hadn’t even begun to heal yet. Yanking each carefully placed stitch with nothing more than dull fingernails. It came undone easily, blood leaking out in time with the pounding of your heart as Suguru’s head disappeared around the corner of an intersection. A feeble cry of “No!” left your lips, just as labored as your breathing as you reached the end of the sidewalk and looked right in the direction he had turned. But, there was no sight of him anymore, gone from your view once again. 

You felt the steady build in your chest, creeping up your throat as you felt the urge to sob violently where you stood. Yet the tears wouldn’t come, catching somewhere in your throat so you truly felt like there was no air in your lungs. “What the fuck was that?” Satoru’s voice pulled you from your daze, your head turning to see a concerned Shoko and Satoru panting as they caught up to where you now stood. Yet, you couldn’t hold Satoru’s bewildered gaze for long, eyes returning to the street once more. “I…” you started, barely hearing yourself as you spoke. 

“I saw… I saw him. It was him.” you managed to spit out, lips parted as you tried to force air in your lungs. “Him? As in Suguru?” Shoko spoke for Satoru, had you been able to turn your head and meet his gaze you would have seen that he had turned as pale as a sheet of paper. You could only muster a nod, shoulders shaking with the force of your breathing as you tried to ground yourself in reality once again. So many emotions were running rampant through your head that it was turning into a dull buzz where none of them could make their way up to the surface. 

“You’re… positive it was him?” Shoko closed what little distance there was, hand resting on your bicep as if she was afraid you’d take off running again. “P-positive. I’d know him anywhere… The little girls were with him too.” You felt your baby kick, your hand flying up to rest on the swell of your stomach as you were finally grounded by their movement. “Sorry honey… I didn’t mean to scare you.” you spoke downwards, soothing your hand over the knit sweater to comfort the child within your womb. You doubted it would really comfort them, more so it was to comfort you.

You pulled your gaze away from the busy street, head turning to look at Satoru but the man was already taking off in the direction you had claimed to see Suguru go. “S-satoru?” Shoko’s head turned with yours, watching him stalk down the busy sidewalk. “He…” You started, but your voice sounded hollow as Shoko began guiding you back in the direction you had come from. “But… he…” Your head followed Satoru until Shoko had guided you away from the intersection and down the sidewalk. “Leave him be.” Shoko spoke slowly, head trained forward.

“But he… Satoru…” Shoko cut you off with a tug a little harder than the others “Satoru is a big boy, you are pregnant. You are in no condition to be booking it out of a store and into the busy road, did you even bother looking before you crossed the street?” For the first time ever, you could hear anger in Shoko’s words. Your silence was more than enough of an answer for her, a scoff leaving her lips as she pulled you over to a small area cut off from the endless streams of people making their way through the city’s center. “You cannot fucking do that, Y/N.”

But she could tell by the look in your eyes that you were anywhere but this moment in time. 

“You are pregnant. Carrying a baby inside of your body, who is reliant on you and you alone to keep them safe. You almost got hit by a fucking car. Do you even know that? You ran out into that street in front of cars Y/N.” Shoko’s voice wavered, to add to the many firsts that were occurring in these moments, her voice had begun to waver. As if she were scared… in truth she was. She had nearly witnessed you and your unborn baby be killed and yet you were completely oblivious. You caught sight of Suguru and you had left everything behind. 

Somewhere in the back of your mind, amidst all the buzzing in your head and ringing in your ears, you were processing the gravity of the situation. Your actions had so blatantly given away your inner thoughts, thoughts you hadn’t intended on letting out. You would, without fail, everytime, follow that man if given the chance. It made your heart ache, the same deep rooted ache that you were certain would never leave you until he was in your arms again. “Satoru…” Shoko spoke softly, your head whipping in the direction Shoko was looking. 

Satoru was making his way back up the sidewalk, face pale and eyes hollow. “I lost him.” he spoke softly, somehow still audible over the roaring of the city. “You saw him?” Shoko questioned, her grip on your bicep lowering to your wrist because she really couldn’t trust you to not run away from her. “Only for a moment, he was getting into a car. The thing was driving off by the time I reached the spot where it had been parked.” Then, finally, knowing he was long gone by now, you could breathe again. The urge to run was gone, leaving you drained. 

“I want to go home.” 

“Yeah, me too.” Satoru uttered softly, arm coming up to rub the back of his neck. He seemed just as disconnected as you felt, leaving Shoko to look between the two of you in concern. “I’ll call for the car.” She pulled out her phone, clicking a number she had on speed dial and waited. Your day had effectively been ruined, leaving you and Satoru in shambles all over again. “We can try this again another day… but you need clothes that fit sooner than later.” Shoko knew she was practically speaking to herself at this point, flipping her phone shut and shoving it in her pocket. 

The three of you stood quietly off to the side, waiting for the car to pull up to the curb and take you home. Your mind was still reeling of course, so many thoughts at once that it had essentially gone blank. But there, amidst the haze of your confusion, one question was burning brightly. “Why didn’t you use infinity?” Your tone was gravelly, eyes meeting Satoru’s dissociated gaze. “...what?” he questioned back as if there was no air in his lungs as he spoke. “Why didn’t you use infinity?” you say it again, a little stronger this time. 

You had no intentions for it to come out accusatory, nor did you mean it to be rude. You were just stupidly unaware at that moment, your brain so clouded that it had reduced you to nothing. “Why didn’t you use your curse technique?” he countered, knowing your own technique would not have been able to stop Suguru from getting out of your grasp. “Why didn’t you look before crossing the street? Why didn’t you run faster?” Satoru spat at you when you didn’t answer, regret dawning in the back of his mind when he saw your eyes brim with tears. 

“That is enough, Satoru.” Shoko interjected before you could even mumble out a feeble response, sniffling harshly as you rubbed your watering eyes. “You are both hurt. There is no god damn point in sitting here asking the other why they didn’t do something because it’s done and over with now.” Shoko’s head was focused on Satoru, glaring at the man harshly as he schooled his features into stoic disinterest. “Better yet, you two were so fucking shell shocked by his sudden appearance that you lost all sense of reason, so there. That’s why infinity wasn’t used.” 

But still, Shoko was staring at Satoru. It angered you a bit, sniffling a little harder as you couldn’t seem to control the watery whimpers that fell from wobbling lips. She should be mad at both of you, and instead she was primarily scolding Satoru and treating you as a frail object. But, given your hopeless and teary eyed gaze, Satoru didn’t blame Shoko for focusing her anger on him. He regretted it almost as soon as he spoke the words out loud, having read your intentions wrong. But he couldn’t swallow his pride and apologize for it just yet, still too overwhelmed. 

You were both saved from her wrath due to the car pulling up to the curb. “We’re going home, and you two are sitting in the back seat.” she tugged you along, reaching for Satoru’s wrist and tugging him too. “We’ll figure out your clothing situation another day.” She grumbled as she pulled the door open for you “for now, just wear Satoru’s clothes… or Suguru’s.” she added the last bit softly, glancing up to see Satoru shoot her a look as he rounded the car to get in on the other side. “Next time, it’ll just be the two of us going out.” 

You only nodded, sinking into the soft back seat of the school’s car and letting Shoko shut the door for you. Satoru settled in beside you, making a point to keep his distance and look out the window as the car began to drive off. You ignored it, not in the right headspace to even tackle what the man’s withdrawn behavior could really mean. You’d just assume he was upset with you until he was ready to talk, because right now all you wanted was your own bed, in your own room, and to sleep until you couldn’t remember why your heart was so heavy in the first place.

—

December 24th, 2007 [1:00pm]

twenty five weeks. 

You were twenty five weeks into your pregnancy which meant you had roughly fourteen weeks left until your baby was born. Still, Suguru had no idea. Over half way through your pregnancy and the father of your baby had no idea you were even pregnant. “It’s christmas eve, little one.” You spoke softly as you sat alone in your dorm room, one of your own sweaters sitting snugly on your body, your pregnant belly was too big to hide at this point. “I can’t believe you’re going to get bigger…” you cooed softly, rubbing your stomach as you sat at your desk. 

You haven't really been speaking to anyone, especially after your near encounter with Suguru back at the end of November. You and Satoru had made up to an extent, but you could still feel a strain on your relationship. That strain was leaking into your relationship with Shoko as well, isolating you from the feeling of comfort the two once brought you. You had ended up sleeping in your own room that night, not responding at first to either of them when they pressed you. “I just need space to think.” you had finally caved late that night when Shoko wouldn’t stop texting. 

You hadn’t returned to either of their beds since, finding comfort in your not so alone solitude. You had your baby with you - in you - you were never truly alone nowadays. For some reason, neither of them pushed you further about the sudden switch of wanting to be alone. In the following weeks of Suguru’s deflection, you couldn’t stand being in your once lively dorm room… despite not being able to drag yourself out of bed most mornings. Now, Satoru and Shoko saw you sparsely, so long as you were on campus, they supposed it was alright to leave you alone. 

It took a few days for the realization to settle in, but your reaction to seeing Suguru again had really done a number on them. “I’ll be out of their hair soon enough…” You murmured to your quiet room, pen scratching the notepad on your desk fervently as you expressed your sorrow.  A faint smile was present on your lips as you wrote down your goodbye note to Shoko, a weight slowly being lifted off of your tired shoulders with each sentence you neatly scribbled down. 

You would be leaving Jujutsu Tech tonight.

And if you could help it, you would never be coming back. 

That was your final decision roughly one week after the whole incident, the guilt of feeling like a burden had been weighing on you since. You would be going to see him tonight, for the first time in four months you would be seeing Suguru… but he would have no idea it was you. It was all planned out, like clockwork really, you had worked through every fine detail of your departure. Your bag was packed and shoved under your bed, a duffle filled with some sentimental clothing items, your personal belongings and things that meant a lot to you. 

Most of your dorm room would be staying behind, just as Suguru had. 

You were - intentionally and not at the very same time - following in his footsteps. Albeit you’d have it a little harder because you had a funny feeling Satoru, Shoko, and Yaga already suspected you were ready to jump ship… they just didn’t know when. You set your pen down for a moment, stretching each finger and flexing your hand to shake out the wariness. You would be leaving soon after the sun had set, while everyone who was still present on campus attended the annual christmas party. You would feign a migraine, something you had been doing quite frequently so it wouldn’t come off too strange when Shoko or Satoru came knocking.

Once you were certain the dorms were empty, you and your baby would be off. Only two pit stops on your way out the door, Shoko’s dorm and Satoru’s dorm, so you could leave them your letters before disappearing into the night.  The first stop after that would be the hotel room you had booked in Shinjuku, you’d place your bag there and get ready. You would be meeting with Suguru at 6pm, under an alias and disguise. You had called his assistant on a pay phone only a few days ago, begging for an appointment on christmas eve with the “mighty healer” taking pity on you, she ran it by Suguru and he agreed. 

The only reason you were doing this under a disguise was because you needed to get your emotions sorted. If you saw him for the first time again in months, face to face with nowhere to run, you were positive you would break down immediately. So, you’d ease into things as best you could. If things worked out, you would only have to live inside a hotel room for less than a week. But if things didn’t work out like you prayed they would, you and your baby would figure it out as you went. You just couldn’t bear the weight of your guilt any longer, you felt as if you were dragging everyone down. 

Carefully, your pen was picked up and you began scratching your thoughts. Satoru’s letter has been finished for three days now, sitting neatly in an envelope on your bottom drawer. You were finishing Shoko’s now, front and back of each paper so the letter itself was nearly four pages long. Satoru was shorter, a single page because if you let yourself get carried away, you were certain you would run out of paper before you could finish your thoughts. Your teeth sunk into the flesh of your lower lip, worrying it deeply as you tried to conclude her letter. 

Your pen froze on the paper as you stared at what you had written, for some reason it was hitting you now. Tears were welling in your eyes as you sniffled, trying to blink them away while trying to avoid them landing on the paper and soiling it. “C’mon now… it would be so unfair to her to litter this with my tears.” You pushed the paper away, getting up from your desk to make your way into the bathroom. Splashing cold water on your face seemed like the best solution, bending over the sink as best you could you let the water pool in your hands. 

A couple rounds later you were able to regain your composure, reaching for the towel you kept hanging on the wall and using it to dry your face. You stood in the all too bright lights of your bathroom, looking at your reflection just to find it felt foreign for a moment. Twenty five weeks into your pregnancy, your stomach had certainly popped at this point, making it hard for you to believe it would continue to get bigger. “The human body is fascinating.” you muttered softly, turning to the side so you could see how you looked with your sweater on. “You’ll be difficult to conceal, little one. Though, your daddy won’t know it’s me…” 

You were still going to put effort into trying to hide your pregnancy. That was a part of your plan you truly couldn’t explain, it just didn’t feel right waltzing in there with your pregnant belly on display while he had no idea it was you and his child. “Let’s finish Auntie Shoko’s letter, shall we?” You needed to get through it, you had no time to really delay things further. The sun would be setting in a few hours, the party would start at five, you had four hours total left for your time at Jujutsu Tech. Not a single second of it could be wasted. 

You sat down again, inhaling through your nose and exhaling through your mouth as you picked up the pen with shaky hands. You reread everything you had written thus far, all the way up to your half done sentence. You picked it up front here, finishing your thoughts and concluding the letter within twenty minutes. With a labored sigh of relief, you pulled another envelope out of your drawer and folded the letter neatly, slipping it inside and sealing it. Your hand trembled tenfold as you wrote Shoko’s name neatly on the back. “Done… it’s done.” 

December 24th, 2007 [3:30pm]

You had drawn your blinds, got a hot pack ready, set medicine and a glass of water on your nightstand. Now, you laid in near darkness, counting down the seconds until Shoko or Satoru appeared at your door. You had planted the first seed an hour prior, telling Shoko you felt a migraine coming on over text and that you’d have to lay down for a bit to see if it would pass. She had responded with an “okay” and let you know she or Satoru would be checking on you within the hour. If they stayed true to their word, it would be any time now. 

You passed the time by looking out your window, despite the blinds being drawn you could still see slivers of the darkening sky. “Winter is such a melancholic season, little one.” not even evening yet and the sky was changing from blue to orange and finally fading into indigo. “I’m glad you won’t be born in the dead of winter… rather somewhere in early spring.” It was odd to think that the year was nearly through, that Christmas was looming just hours away. This was arguably the least festive Christmas you had ever experienced. 

“Ya know, this isn’t how I thought my first pregnancy would go.” You whisper to your empty room, knowing it didn’t matter how quietly you talked, your baby would hear you. At least, that’s what you liked to think, that one thought always brought you comfort. “I swear mommy is going to fix this, my little love. You will be so cherished and so loved by me and your daddy.” You exhaled slowly, not expecting your own rambling to tug at your chest the way it did. “Soon, soon my little love, soon it will be okay.” You tried to swallow the lump in your throat as you struggled to roll onto your side, placing the hotpack on your head once more. 

It took all of five minutes for footsteps to approach your door, a gentle rasp of fingers hitting the wood and a soft call of your name. “Come in.” You didn’t have to try and sound weak, the frog in your throat aiding you. “Well, this is a depressing Christmas eve… how are you?” You struggled to roll over yet again, squinting as the hall light flooded your room, silhouetting Satoru’s lanky figure. “Not good, I don’t think I’ll be able to go, Satoru.” You could see him shifting from foot to foot. “Do you… want me to stay with you?” and for a moment you had to school your expression from the sheer panic that nearly pulled your features. 

“N-no, god that would be useless. Go enjoy your christmas eve, I have my pain meds and I’ve got some pregnancy safe sleeping meds. I’ll be out like a light within the next hour. Have fun, Satoru.” You urged him, praying he wouldn’t be stubborn. Reluctantly, you heard him sigh. “Are you positive?” You weren’t sure why him giving up so easily made your heart ache. For the sake of your plan, you couldn’t let him stay. But, for some reason, it made your chest heavy that he didn’t put up more of a fight. So different… Why are things so different? “Positive.” You gave him a weak smile, still squinting because of the hall light.

“Alright… well… merry christmas, Y/N. I’ll give everyone your well wishes.” 

“Thank you, Satoru… Merry christmas.” 

You watched him leave, a gentle click of your door shutting flowed by his feet padding down the hallway again. It wasn’t until silence was the only thing ringing in your ears that the choked sobs you had tried to hold off all day came forward. You couldn’t catch your breath with the force of them, clutching your chest as you curled in on your side. Deep, guttural sobs shook your frame until they turned completely silent. In the dark of your room, you gasped for air that would not enter your lungs. Your cries so wheezy and silent that you were certain you would pass out if you could not get a grip and catch your breath. 

It hurts… god it fucking hurts… What went wrong? Where did I go so horribly wrong? Your own thoughts seem to bounce off the cavern of your skull, echoing in your ears as hot tears ruined your pillowcase. You forced yourself into a sitting position despite your body screaming in protest, your baby’s fluttering kicks urging you to relax before you sent them into distress along with you. “I'm sorry…I’m sorry.” You could barely speak, stumbling out of your bed and towards your bathroom, blindly searching for the knob as your vision was clouded with tears. 

All you could think about was cold water, splashing cold water on your face would ground you for a moment. Though, cold water certainly could not cure a breaking heart. Your slowly swelling eyes remained shut as you flicked on the LED lights of your bathroom, blindly walking to your sink and turning the cold water on. It contrasted starkly with the hot tears that had been streaming down your cheeks, filling your nose and making it run. You hated it, every second of it, so utterly hopeless and confused. You never wanted to leave on a bad note, but it didn't seem like something that could be helped. Not now at least… 

You bent down, eyes opening a fraction to see the crystal clear water pool in your cupped hands before overflowing. After a moment, you splashed it up on your face, gasping as it seemed to shock your system out of its haze. You did it again, and again, and again, until the tears stopped and you could breathe without needing to think about it. “There we go… I’m so sorry, little one. Mommy didn’t mean to frighten you like that…” Slowly, your baby’s hyperactivity slowed, relaxing with your calming heart. “I’m still learning… I promise I’ll get the hang of it.” 

“You are pregnant. Carrying a baby inside of your body, who is reliant on you and you alone to keep them safe. You almost got hit by a fucking car.”

Shoko’s words still hung heavy on you from that day. Ever since, you have become all too aware of your baby. Especially since you had begun spending so much time alone, every waking thought was about them and their well being. Even at doctor’s appointments you were certain Shoko only accompanied you so you wouldn’t use it as a chance to run off. “I think it’s almost time for us to go, little one.” You had told your doctor that you didn’t want to know the gender, as much as it killed you to wait. You wanted Suguru present when it was revealed. 

With a heavy sigh you  grabbed a towel, drying your face and tossing it in the hamper to never be washed. Your mind was still filled with ten million and one thoughts, but you needed to try and stay level headed if you wanted to get off of campus without being spotted. You gave your bathroom one last glance over, three years this room had been your home. After tonight, you would likely never see it again. With a small amount of hesitation, you flicked off the lights and shut the door. Now you were faced with every step that needed to be taken to pull this all off. 

The first step was to lock your door, you couldn’t bring yourself to breathe until you did so. Crossing the short distance, you held the knob title and turned the lock until it clicked. That pulled a fraction of the stress off of your shoulders, allowing you to move a little more freely about your bedroom as you got yourself ready. You weren’t particularly in a rush, though the racing of your heart certainly made you feel like you should be. It took you about twenty minutes to sort through the contents of your bag before throwing a few more things inside of it. 

By now the sun had set, 4:00pm was staring at you in big red letters on your nightstand. 

I’ve got time. You spoke to yourself, shuffling over to your desk to pull the bottom drawer open. You had been strategic, burning and disposing of any information you had kept hidden in there. Not that there was truly anything worthwhile, you just felt a bit paranoid leaving it behind. Now, all that was left were the two letters you’d be placing in their dorm rooms. This was how you’d make sure they had actually left for the party. You had plenty of excuses made up in the event they were still inside their respective dorm rooms. “Alright little one, let’s go.” 

You carefully placed the letters inside of your coat, shielding them from unwanted eyes in the event things turned for the worse. You tried to move with no real direction, if you seemed intent on getting somewhere, it would easily give you away. At least that’s what you figured while unlocking your door and heading out into the quiet hallway. Squinting, playing the part of someone who had a raging migraine, you shuffled down the hall towards Shoko’s bedroom. Your sock covered feet seemed to echo with each soft tap, your body carrying you down the halls you had considered your one and only home for nearly three years. 

“Shoko?” you knocked on her door, speaking loud enough that if anyone was in there, they’d hear you. After a moment of no answer, you grabbed the knob and pushed it open. Shoko’s room was dark, all lights off save for the festive holiday lights she had strung up around the perimeter of her dorm room. It’s really been that long… I had no idea she even did this… the weight of that realization made it hard to breathe again, chest tight as you made your way forward while tugging the envelope with her name on it out of your coat. Her room once felt so safe to you, so homey and secure… Now it felt as if you were walking into a stranger’s dorm. 

It was astonishing how quickly relationships could change over one “small” event in time. 

Your heart was still pounding in your chest as you dropped the note on her desk. You didn’t want to waste another second, turning on your heels and shutting the door as if you had never been in there to begin with. Next was Satoru, his room just a little ways down the hall. Your feet seemed to move slower than before, one hand resting on the swell of your stomach as you waddled to the door you had opened and shut so many times over the years you’d never be able to keep count. You could feel it again, the frog forming in your throat as you held your hand up. 

But you stopped mid-way to the door, you never knocked before entering Satoru’s dorm room. That would immediately raise suspicions if he still happened to be inside. So, one last time, for old time sake, you pushed into his unlocked dorm room and heaved a heavy sigh as you were greeted with nothing in return. Satoru had left his desk lamp on, leaving the room in a golden glow despite nobody being inside. You couldn’t understand why you felt disappointed about the fact that he wasn’t there. Just as you couldn’t describe the heaviness in your chest when he didn’t put up a fight only a little while ago. Such stupid emotions… stupid stupid stupid. 

You shut his door behind you as you entered his dorm for what would be the very last time. It seemed to suck the air from your lungs as you stepped further into the room you had once been so familiar with. Only a few weeks had passed and yet you felt as if an eternity had expanded across the short period of time. It almost felt foreign as you stepped towards the bed you had spent so many nights in, eyes roaming over his disheveled covers from his hazardous bed making skills. You pulled the letter out of your coat, laughing a bit as you realized your stupid mistake, not that it mattered now. You’d be out the door in less than ten minutes. 

You left the envelope neatly on his pillow, holding back tears as you turned away and walked out of the room all together. There was no point in reminiscing, no point in wishing for things to return to how they once were, you needed to do what you deemed best for yourself and your child. That meant being with your baby’s father, that meant doing what you could to rebuild the things Suguru had destroyed. For some reason, that seemed easier than staying at Jujutsu Tech. You pulled Satoru’s door shut, adrenaline flooded your veins as you processed the fact that all you had left to do now was grab your few things and leave. 

You moved down the hall quickly, feet carrying you faster than they had in a long while. Every step you took, out in the open, felt like you were begging for someone to accidentally stumble upon you. You could heave a sigh of relief as your dorm door was in sight once again. You pushed into your dorm room again, throat feeling dry as you grabbed the duffle bag off of your bed and slung it over your shoulder. You looked around one last time, pregnancy hormones making you suddenly sentimental over everything you’d be leaving behind. They are nothing more than inanimate belongings, get a hold on reality. You scolded yourself as your eyes welled with tears, you’d have plenty of time in the future to gain new sentiment over such trivial things. 

Right now, you need to get out. He was waiting for you, unknowingly Suguru was waiting for you. You’d be damned if you gave up the opportunity now. With a heavy heart, you crossed the distance one last time and turned off the lights of your dorm before stepping into the hall. With a click that felt almost deafening, it was time for you to make your way out of the dorm building without gaining any unwanted attention. You placed everything on your fellow classmates being at that damned christmas party, you just prayed it was a safe bet to make. You moved equally as fast as you had moments prior, feet carrying you and your child down the wooden halls you could no longer call your home. Each step seemed to creak loudly as it bounced off empty walls. 

Your feet hit the landing of the first floor and you felt like they’d give out beneath you, Everything was too silent, though you supposed that should be a good thing for your sake. It made you feel uneasy regardless, every fiber of your being seemed to come alive with each step you took. The air in your lungs seemed to be frozen as your hands met the cool metal of the back door, one push and your fate would be sealed. For the first time that day, you didn’t second guess a single action you made, pushing it open to be greeted with a gush of cold air. 

Freedom.

Had you not been so heavily pregnant, you would have taken off in an all out sprint. You didn’t realize how badly you ached to do so until the ability was taken from you. Instead, you moved as fast as your feet would allow you to, hand resting on your stomach to try and minimize the amount of bouncing the action was causing you. You would be off campus within seconds, out into the real world and on the subway before you could process it. It seemed as if the universe put wind on your sail again, the only thing thundering in your ears was the sound of your own racing heart. It was within your reach, so close you could taste it, the happiness you so desperately longed to feel again, it was coming back. 

“Y/N?” 

You stopped short, the air leaving your lungs just as it had left your metaphorical sail. You turned slowly, bracing yourself for who you’d see calling your name. Much to your surprise, it was the last person you had expected to see. “...Nanami?” The blonde was looking you over with creased brows, nodding a bit as you stated the obvious. “Yeah, it’s me uh…wow.” he commented softly, taking a timid step towards you. “I came for the party though I didn’t really want to… I see you’ve got a lot going on.” He cleared his throat, it dawned on you in that moment that he had no idea you were pregnant until this very second. “I-yeah. You could put it like that.” 

“It’s Suguru’s, isn’t it?” he questioned softly, finally dragging his eyes from the swell of your stomach and up to your face. “It is, he just doesn’t know it yet.” Yet. Nanami wasn’t stupid, seeing the duffle bag slung over your shoulder he knew you were leaving. “I take it that’s where you’re heading now?” his voice was achingly quiet, though he had never been one to talk loudly. “It… yeah it is. I…umm… Nanami, they don’t know I’m leaving.” You started, your throat feeling dry as you tried to figure out how to proceed. “You’re not coming back.” he stated it more than questioned. Carefully, you nodded. “I’m not coming back.” you repeated with a sad smile. 

“I understand. Trust me, if anyone is to understand where you’re coming from with that logic, it’s me.” You felt the tension melting from your shoulders “Nanami, promise me you won’t say a word… I left them letters I just… I can’t have them stopping me now. Not when my mind is made up.” The blonde nodded slowly, eyes roaming over your body and back to your baby bump. “You have to do what you think is best for you and your baby. If leaving this all behind, if going to Suguru is what you deem best, then nobody has the right to disagree with you.” He stated it matter-of-factly to you, arms crossing as a gentle smile crossed his face. 

“Take care of yourself, and your baby, Y/N. Tell Suguru I said hello, and I promise your secret is safe with me.” As quickly as it started, it seemed to stop. Nanami had always been a man of purpose. “I will… thank you, from the bottom of my heart, thank you, Nanami.” The blonde nodded, still smiling a bit as he turned away from you. “This never happened, I’m sure you’re on a tight schedule.” But his tone was lighter for once, making you smile a bit as you uttered out a soft “yeah… see you later, Nanami.” You took off again, feet carrying you down the dirt paths with ease. Unknowingly to you, Nanami was watching you go, not moving from his spot until you had disappeared from his sight. He sighed deeply before finally moving the other way. 

 “I hope you find your peace, Y/N.” 

December 24th, 2007 [4:45pm] 

You held onto the iron pole of the subway cart as it barreled down the tracks. Standing where you were now, surrounded by people heading home to spend the holidays with their families, fluorescent lights nearly blinding, you felt unreal. As if this was all a figment of your imagination and you’d wake up in your bed, in your dorm room, hopelessly alone again. It hadn’t been until you arrived at the station that you realized just how suffocated you had felt at Jujutsu Tech. Satoru and Shoko had been so strict in hopes of keeping you from flying the nest, instead it had the polar opposite effect. I guess I should thank them. 

You didn’t hold any malice towards the two, but it did sting when you thought of how quickly they changed. You could, arguably, understand where they were coming from. By no means were claiming innocence to anything that had gone down between the three of you. It was crazy to you how less than forty five minutes of freedom was already giving you a level head and better perspective. Though you doubted you’d be able to cling onto sanity for much longer, with each minute that ticked by you were closer to seeing Suguru. That alone made your heart swell. 

Based on the lights above your head, you’d be at Shinjuku Station in less than three minutes. From there it would be taking a taxi to the hotel you had booked a room at. Then, so long as check-in went smoothly, you’d be in your room and getting ready before 5:30. You knew Suguru’s religious group was a fifteen minute walk from your hotel, but a taxi would get you there in five. Either way, you’d get there by 6pm, you didn’t care how. Your heart was thumping erratically, you knew you’d need to disconnect your phone once you got off the train. 

You prayed with each passing second that you wouldn’t feel it buzz, that nobody would ring your line because truthfully you didn’t think you’d be able to handle knowing they knew. You’d rather be selfishly, blissfully unaware of when their worlds came crashing down for a second time. You would need to destroy your phone once you arrived at the station, you could worry about buying a new one after the holidays had passed. Truthfully, there was no reason for you to remain in contact with anyone anymore, what was done was done and that was simply it. It did make your heart ache though, but you were a big girl, you made the bed and you now had to sleep in it. 

The subway cart came to a halt, sending you forward a bit as your clammy hand gripped the pole a little harder. An automated voice came over the speaker to announce that you had arrived at Shinjuku station. With that, the doors were sliding open, crowds of people moving to exit the train just as people flooded to enter it. Luckily for you, people could see your state, knowing you were pregnant, many moved out of the way just a bit to accommodate you as you walked by. You had ended up standing the whole train ride despite many offering you their seats. You had assured them you were fine, antsy even and it would help your nerves to stand. 

Your feet felt as heavy as led as you carried yourself through the brightly lit station towards the escalators that would carry you back up to street level. With your phone clutched tightly in your hand, you activated your curse technique. You could feel it now, the metal and glass that made up your flip phone crushed until it resembled nothing more than a flattened soda can. Completely unusable, utterly destroyed. You dropped it in a passing trash can, body feeling significantly lighter now that there was no way for them to directly contact you. Your feet hit the moving platform a second later, carrying you upwards, a step closer to your goal. 

December 24th, 2007 [5:45pm] 

You were early, you couldn’t help it. You had taken as little time as possible once you arrived at your hotel room, throwing together an imperfect disguise. You had managed to successfully hide your pregnancy, a disposable face mask was hiding the lower half of your face. Suguru would recognize your eyes, you knew that, so even though the sun had long ago set, you slotted a pair of sunglasses over your face. Your hair was neatly tucked under a beanie, the hood on your sweatshirt being dragged overtop. You had to wonder if this appearance would raise any suspicions with him, but you had to assume he was used to people being ashamed of wanting to be “healed”. Either way, you prayed he wouldn’t question it. 

Your weight shifted from foot to foot, eyes peering up at the looming and honestly overwhelming building that made up the temple. You had a handful of steps you would need to climb to reach the entrance, which had been part of your desire to get here as soon as you could manage. Climbing up stairs had become your mortal enemy at this point, one flight in and you were wheezing for air. “Bear with me, little one.” You let your hand smooth over your stomach one last time before starting your torturous climb. Each step was shaky, your breath warm on your face as the mask shielded you from the cool air. Still, labored breathing was enough to have faint puffs of your breath turning visible in the air. 

The added layers weren’t helping your cause, either. But you would manage, all because Suguru was just beyond the walls of the temple that loomed before you. For months you had to live with the fact that he was alive and well within miles of you. Just out of your reach, leaving you to pick up the shattered pieces of the life you had so carefully tried to build. You had been angry, sad, depressed and disappointed. You had gone through every stage of grief and then some. But right now, as you ascended these steps, it suddenly didn’t seem to matter anymore. How foolish you could become when blinded by such devoted love. “Are you here to meet with Master Geto?”

You glanced up at the sound of a woman’s voice, recognizing it from when you spoke on the phone a dew days prior. “I-I am.” you huffed out, finally reaching the top of the platform in which the temple rested upon. “You’re quite early, Mast Geto will appreciate this.” She smiled warmly at you but you could tell by the ugly crinkle in her smile lines that it was forced. “I’m glad.” You managed to squeeze out, trying to calm your racing heart as your baby’s kicks fluttered around your stomach. Always so active. You mused to yourself as the woman turned away from you. “He’ll likely be waiting already, he just finished with a client. You’re the last for the year. Quite the honor if I say so myself. You’re very lucky.” Very lucky, huh?

You didn’t have to bother hiding your amused smirk, the face mask providing you all the security you needed as she guided you towards the temple’s entrance. “I hope you don’t mind my appearance.” You started, testing the waters to see how poorly she thought of you based on one glance. “It’s alright, Master Geto understands some of the people that come to him are doing so against their family’s wishes. Anonymity is welcomed in his eyes.” You felt your brow twitch, humming out a “oh good” as the temple doors seemed to open on their own. “Before you meet with him privately, I do have a small handful of rules.” Rules? She took your silence as a go-ahead, holding her clipboard tightly to her chest as her hips swayed with each step. 

“Master Geto asks you to wash your hands before meeting with him. He also requests that you do not touch him unless he reaches out to touch you. Granted the most the man will touch is your hands or shoulders. He will never venture any further.” You assumed that had to do with his newfound hatred for non-sorcerers, anything of the sort was likely considered filth to him. So how peculiar was it that he would go out of his way to heal them. If you could pick his brains apart, you would. You prayed wholeheartedly that you’d be given the chance. All those countless nights, sitting beside Satoru, trying to wrap your head around Suguru and his choices. 

He owed you the deepest, most thought out and intricate explanation he could manage. You still couldn’t fathom why this was the answer to his jumbled thoughts. “You may use this sink to cleanse yourself.” You blinked, head turning to the stainless steel sink fitted right to the wall outside the doors that would lead to Suguru’s quarters. It was brand new, clearly installed within the temple’s construction only a few months prior. You exhaled slowly as you pushed up your sleeves, this was by no means the Suguru you remembered. But you couldn’t let your doubt drag you down yet, you still hadn’t seen him, spoken with him. 

You set the water to cold, scrubbing your hands thoroughly with the soap provided. You swore you could still feel the clammy, dirty metal of the subway pole on your hands despite washing them when you got to the hotel. It only made you scrub harder, anxiety creeping into your neck as the crushing reality began to settle in. Within minutes… no within seconds really, you’d be seeing Suguru again for the first time in nearly five months. “You may use the towels to your right to dry your hands once you are done.” The woman chimed softly behind you, looking down at her clipboard so she could cross off your name – an alias you had given – the last on his list. 

You felt a moment of hesitation as you reached up to turn off the water. As if the anticipation for this moment would feel more overwhelming than seeing him in person again. You found yourself fearing the disappointment that may come with this meeting. It took you a moment, but you pushed forward, grabbing the knob and turning the cold water off. “Alright, Miss.” You grabbed a towel, drying your hands thoroughly before dropping it in the bin beside the sink. “Alright.” You repeated, turning to face her, sight dimmed from the darkened corridor and the shading of your glasses. “If you’ll allow me to check in, Master Geto should be ready for you.” 

Your heart had begun to hammer in your throat, over the roaring in your ears you uttered out a weak “Okay.” As she strolled past you and pushed through the large door, just enough to peak her head and upper half of her body in. A little muffled, but you heard her speak “Master Geto, your last client is here. Are you ready for her?”If he responded, you couldn’t hear it, your own heartbeat pulsing in your ears as she turned to smile at you. 

“Master Geto is ready to see you, please, head in.” 

Here went everything, everything you had thrown away had led to this very moment. You nodded, taking one step forward, then another, until somehow your legs managed to hold out on you and carry you into the large prayer room. The door shut behind you, nearly making your feet falter as you took in the expanse of the room. It was absurdly large, mats rolled up and leaning against the wall, you assumed it was for his worshipers. The room itself was lit primarily by candle light, yet it was still bright enough to make out everything before you. 

A small flight of stairs led to a raised podium, an arm rest screwed into the ground to support Suguru as he lounged. “Welcome.” Your eyes landed on him, his fist pressed into the side of his cheek as he smiled at you. Behind him was a large altar, barren likely due to the temple being closed until the new year after tonight. “Please, dear, come up and sit before me.” His voice, smooth and melodic, just as it had always been. But this time around it carried a level of authority and hospitality that was foreign to you. 

You swore stars were starting to spot your vision, so utterly overwhelmed by his presence that you had to force air into your lungs as you climbed more godforsaken steps. “Thank you for meeting with me, Master Geto.” You choked out, doing a horrible job of hiding your genuine emotions. “Of course, I couldn’t say no after hearing how urgent your needs were. Think of this as a Christmas gift from me to you.” He spoke softly, eyes roaming over your appearance. “So, please, do tell me of your problems. Something horrid seems to be ailing you.” 

You knelt before him, praying it didn’t look awkward as your stomach nearly made it impossible to get into such a position inconspicuously. “I just… I’m not even sure what is ailing me.” You started softly, hand reaching up to adjust your absurd disguise. “I’m desperate, I figured if anyone could help me, it would be you…” For a moment you nearly uttered Suguru, your throat felt dry as you quietly finished “...Master Geto.” You stared at him through the lenses of your sunglasses, wondering how Satoru dealt with wearing the cursed things all the damn time. 

As Suguru’s eyes roamed over you, studying you intently, you felt reality weighing on you once more. Suguru was right there, in front of you, less than two feet. It felt utterly surreal, maybe that's why you felt so disconnected from the moment. Two weeks of pure, agonizing grief over his departure only to be cut off by the realization that you were pregnant with his baby. Sure that didn’t fix your broken heart, at first it had even managed to make it worse. But it kept you busy, and has continued to keep you busy over the course of September, October, November, and now at the end of December. Yet it hadn’t been enough to bring you to your senses. 

“You seem troubled, and I’m so sorry you’ve been having such a difficult time.” he uttered softly, straightening from his lounging position as he let his arm rest to support him instead of having his fist pressed to his cheek. Everything thus far had brought you right to this moment, right back into his arms… almost. You blinked, swallowing nothing at all and nearly choking. For a split second it felt like Suguru was talking directly to you, your Suguru. Not the Geto Suguru who was the new head of the old star vessel religious group. Your mouth opened and closed a few times, hands folded neatly on your lap despite having to strain to reach it. 

“I appreciate the sentiment, Master Geto. Please, what are you going to do to aid me?” For a foolish moment, you wondered if maybe there was some invisible curse clinging to your back and weighing you down. “I will do the best I can to heal you, my dear.” You inhaled slowly, nodding as you spoke “Thank you, but may I ask how?” it had slipped past your lips before you could stop it, a genuine question you prayed wouldn't come across as offensive. After all, it’s how you lost Satoru’s trust. “Of course you may, it’s human nature to be curious, my dear.” He started softly, a grin on his face as he moved to sit up fully, no arm rest to keep him balanced. 

“I could preach to you about how there is good and there is evil, how the strong prey on the weak and use it to their advantage. But that is common and dismal knowledge at this point, that is not what you are looking for either.” You nodded, eyes still soaking in every inch that made up the man before you. As much as the sunglasses were annoying you, you appreciate them for allowing you to so shamelessly admire your lover. “You’re tired, aren’t you? You feel as though you are being weighed down.” He questioned you softly, watching you nod as he found a small starting point for your ailments. “Did something happen to you recently?” 

For a moment you swore you felt your heart stop beating in your chest. That question was far too loaded for you to answer, so you cleared your throat a bit, muttering a soft “yes” but not willing to go further. Suguru seemed to understand that, nodding softly. “You, by no means, need to explain yourself to me, my dear. I will do what I can to ease your burdens.” you watched his hands, noticing every little detail as they reached for you. “Are you alright with me taking your hands?” So soft you nearly missed it over the thundering of your heart.

 “Y-you may.” Shakily, you stuck your own hands out, feeling a bit awkward at the clamminess of them. For the first time in months, Suguru’s skin was on yours again. It brought a wave of relief you thought you would never feel again. The warmth of his hands in your own, worn and calloused but somehow perfectly soft and cared for. They encompassed yours, his grip strong but not strong enough to hurt, mindful of you. Tears welled in your eyes, throat constricting in a way that you knew meant tears were going to flow freely before you could stop them. 

“You have no idea how long I’ve been waiting for you, Y/N.” 

—

“Master Geto, there is a potential client on the line and she is very adamant about meeting with you on the 24th of December.” Suguru stopped reading over his paperwork, eyes glancing up at the secretary he had hired only a few weeks back. “That so?” he mused softly, tapping his pen against the polished oak of his desk. “I really didn’t want to take many people that day, considering Mimiko and Nanako…” he started with a hum, pondering it for a moment longer. “Did she say her name, her intentions, anything of interest?” He was far too tempted to flat out say no. 

“She seemed very nervous, she’s said she's not been feeling very good recently and you’ve become her last resort. She can’t keep going on like this.” The secretary repeated your urgent, mildly-overdramatic words. “Sounds dire.” Suguru spoke softly, still mulling over his thoughts. For some reason, he couldn’t bring himself to utter the words "tell her no.” Instead, after a brief pause “Let her know I’ll be able to meet with her on the 24th of December, 6pm.” The secretary nodded, moving to leave once more but stopping short as Suguru called her name. “She will be the last client for this year, please let any new potential clients know that I will not be able to meet with them until after the new year.” 

She nodded quickly before departing, leaving Suguru alone again as he reached for the paperwork he set down. “What a kind heart you have, papa Geto.” Suguru hadn’t even been able to read the next sentence, laughing softly at Mimiko’s comment. The brunette girl was kicking her feet, coloring intently beside her sister on the plush rug Suguru had put in just for them. “It’s important to help people in need, you know. She seemed like she could really use it.” He smiled fondly at the two sisters, listening to Nanako hum softly as she scribbled onto the page. 

“I guess you’re right.” 

“You guess I’m right?” 

Mimiko nodded, stopping her coloring to look up at Suguru behind his desk. “Yeah, I mean you really don’t need to help anyone. But you choose to do so even when you don’t have to. You have a kind heart, papa Geto.” The small girl repeated her initial statement, smiling softly as Suguru’s expression morphed into one of genuine surprise. He couldn’t bring himself to say anything, watching her small head turn back to the paper she was drawing on, starting to hum along with the tune Nanako had set. Suguru sat there, wondering how a child could think of such things. 

He saw himself as anything but kind-hearted at this point in his life. But still, he didn’t have the heart to say those things, especially not to a six year old. Suguru had barely reached for his paperwork again when your face crossed his mind, making him freeze once more. You had been a constant thought in his mind since the day he left. Not even an hour had gone by where you didn’t consume his thoughts, knocking the air from his lungs and paralyzing him for a moment. He missed you. Fuck he missed you terribly and it was enough to render him utterly immobile at points. 

Slowly, he forced air back in his lungs, your smile leaving a permanent mark engraved in his mind. He didn’t regret anything he did up until this point, well maybe except for one particular thing. He didn’t take you with him the day he left. He knew he loved you too much to force you into this kind of life, he needed it to be a choice you made out of your own free will. Something cheesy about loving someone meant setting them free when the time came had crossed his mind when leaving you that letter. Leaving it on the bed he once called his own, so long as you were in it, it was his. 

But still, the choice to leave it all up to your own free will did nothing to fill the void beside him each night. How desperately he wished you were laying beside him, curled perfectly into his embrace, face snuggled into the crook of his neck. Your natural musk mixing with your perfume, your hair tickling his hands as he held you tight, your chest rising and falling evenly as you slept. He ached to hold you again, finding it hard to fall asleep each night in your absence. But he had made this choice, he had to own it, even if that meant you weren’t a part of his life right now. 

“But he knew, deep down, that it was only temporary; you'd come back to him.”

—

He had been right, of course. He just hadn’t expected it to come so soon, as if whatever forces in the universe heard his consistent, unwavering, silent prayer. The moment those doors opened, he knew it was you. From the moment you stepped foot in the prayer room, he could feel you. His soul would never not recognize you, no matter how hard you tried to disguise yourself. He had felt it then, that shaky, stuttering breath as you walked so cautiously into the room. It had taken every ounce of his willpower to not get up and go to you. Based on your appearance, it was clear that you didn’t want to be recognized by him. 

“Welcome.” He started,  praying you wouldn’t hear the tremor in his voice as his heart pounded erratically in his chest. “Please, dear, come up and sit before me.” Carefully, he trained his emotions into neutral ease, watching you shakily make your way towards him. It was you, fuck it was really you. For a moment Suguru was certain he would pass out from the intensity of your presence. How often had he dreamt of you, how often had he silently wondered what you were doing. How often had Nanako and Mimiko listened to him blabber about you with such fondness? Probably too many times to count, bless them. 

Suguru watched you climb up the steps, your voice sending his heart into a death spiral. “Thank you for meeting with me, Master Geto.” There it was. The voice he had longed to hear for months now; your voice had always been so utterly hypnotic to him. “Of course, I couldn’t say no after hearing how urgent your needs were. Think of this as a Christmas gift from me to you.” He had to wonder if he was being transparent, it was impossible to hide the sparkle in his eyes as his whole world sat down before him. “So, please, do tell me of your problems. Something horrid seems to be ailing you.” His brow twitched as he looked you over, worry flooding his veins that you had been over exerting yourself in his absence. 

He noticed you had struggled for a moment, leaving him to ponder further. Were you hurt? Had you gone on a mission recently and injured yourself? “I just… I’m not even sure what is ailing me.” Suguru’s heart ached at the sadness in your tone, you sounded so detached as you continued. “I’m desperate, I figured if anyone could help me, it would be you…” he noticed you hesitate for a moment, as if nearly choking on the wrong words before uttering out “Master Geto.” His family name sounded foreign coming from your mouth, a mouth he couldn't even see under the disposable face mask you adorned. There you were, kneeling before him after months of waiting, and he couldn’t even see your beautiful face. 

Suguru looked you over, eyes soaking in every inch of you despite how covered you were. “You seem troubled, and I’m so sorry you’ve been having such a difficult time.” the words nearly got caught in his throat, coming out so soft that it nearly wasn’t audible. It was almost too genuine, for a brief moment he had forgotten, speaking to you as if nothing had changed at all. He had to wonder if you heard it. All thoughts died before they were even fully formed, the prolonged silence between you being shattered as you spoke “I appreciate the sentiment, Master Geto. Please, what are you going to do to aid me?” You sounded… defeated. 

“I will do the best I can to heal you, my dear.”

But, he could tell you didn’t seem overly satisfied with that answer. “Thank you, but may I ask how?” he couldn’t help the way his lips quirked at your question. “Of course you may, it’s human nature to be curious, my dear.” his smirk turned into something softer, a genuine smile. You hadn’t changed a bit, your blunt curiosity still shining through. “I could preach to you about how there is good and there is evil, how the strong prey on the weak and use it to their advantage. But that is common and dismal knowledge at this point, that is not what you are looking for either.” He watched you nod, aching to know what was going on inside of your head. 

“You’re tired, aren’t you? You feel as though you are being weighed down.” He watched you, brown eyes analyzing your every movement, his heart aching as you nodded. “Did something happen to you recently?” it slipped out, he didn’t want to seem like he was prying even though he was very well aware that the “something” that happened was none other than him. Still, nothing could have prepared him for the ache in his chest as you uttered out a soft, broken “yes.” The urge to soothe you had nearly caused him to lean forward; the need to pull you into a tight, crushing hug to try and soothe your sorrows was becoming too much. 

You deserve none of the emotional turmoil he put you through. 

“You, by no means, need to explain yourself to me, my dear. I will do what I can to ease your burdens.” he breathed out, not knowing how else to soothe you if he couldn't touch you in the ways he desired. So, he dared to ask “Are you alright with me taking your hands?” Suguru couldn’t breathe after asking it, the idea of touching you again after months of being apart was almost too much for him to handle.  “Y-you may.” There, for a brief moment, was the Y/N he fell in love with a few years back, so outgoing but so shy the moment he tried to initiate anything. It made his heart clench, the feeling of nostalgia washing over him in waves as he reached forward. 

Your hands were trembling as he took them in his own. For a moment, Suguru’s shoulders sagged. Your warm skin pressed to his was something he had missed so dearly. No words could describe the relief he felt, your hands wrapping so gingerly around him as his grip tightened. He was afraid you would pull away, being mindful to not squeeze you too tight. Suguru couldn’t quite believe it, every word he had practiced, every speech he had thought of for when this moment arrived. None of it mattered. Not a single word was able to claw its way out of the depths of his mind. Too overwhelmed by the fact that you were before him. 

Before he could stop himself, before the moment became awkward from the long stretch of silence. Suguru uttered the only words that came to mind. 

“You have no idea how long I’ve been waiting for you, Y/N.” 

— 

You blinked, not that he could see it from behind the shades of your sunglasses. Still, you were stunned into silence. Your brain was struggling to catch up, processing the words Suguru had spoken two, three, four times before finally registering. “Wha–” was all you could manage, the syllables dragging out as Suguru chuckled softly. “I didn’t mean to unveil your secret before you were ready, Y/N. But no disguise you could wear would be able to conceal you from me. I’d know it was you every single time.” he swallowed, eyes shifting down to your clasped hands as if he was getting shy. “I’ve missed you so terribly… and I know I don’t have any right to say that because this is all my fault but... I’ve missed you.”

Still, you were speechless. 

“Y/N… my sweet girl… Please say something.” Suguru wasn’t going to move until you responded to him, too afraid of overstepping your boundaries. Your mouth opened and closed again, swallowing the lump in your throat as you uttered out a soft “hi.” You couldn’t think of anything else, every thought in your mind was too jumbled to truly form a proper sentence. “Hi.” he repeated back to you, the same level of adoration in his tone that you’ve always known him to have towards you. “Can I take these off?” He was already letting go of one of your hands to reach for your sunglasses as you nodded. Your heart was erratic as his fingers ghosted your temple. 

You felt it then, the tremor in his hands as he gently took the sun glasses off of you. For the first time in four months you were seeing Suguru without any barriers. “There you are.” He smiled, letting go of your other hand so he could gingerly pull the face mask off of you. You couldn’t contain it then, a smile making your lips twitch as your face was fully exposed again. “My beautiful girl.” Suguru breathed out, eyes memorizing every feature like they weren’t already burned into his memory. “My handsome boy.” your words nearly got caught in your throat, eyes watering as Suguru carefully took off your hood and revealed your hair. His smile matched yours, his lips quivering as he struggled to say anything in response. 

So much to say, but you were both in silent awe of each other. 

It dawned on you a second later that Suguru still had no idea you were carrying his baby. 

“Suguru I…” you choked a bit, reaching to hold his hand again just as he reached for yours. “I’ve missed you too, terribly.” He watched you, brows creasing a bit as his face grew solemn. “It was never my intention to hurt you like this, Y/N.” For some reason, you couldn’t muster any of the anger you figured you would feel when seeing Suguru again. “I know it wasn’t” So soft it was barely audible but Suguru clung on to every word. “But it still happened, I still hurt you. I…” he swallowed, holding your hand a little tighter. “My only regret is not taking you with me the night I left. But I couldn’t do that to you, I couldn’t force you to run away with me after what I did. I don’t regret a single action I’ve made besides that.” 

“I would have left with you, I hope you know that. Wherever you are is where I want to be.” And for a moment you swore you saw tears welling in Suguru’s eyes. “No amount of apologizing will make up for the hell I caused you.” he looked down at your clasped hands before meeting your eyes once more “But I will spend the rest of my life trying to make it up to you, if you’ll let me.” For a moment your heart ached so deeply it nearly scared you, your baby’s fluttering kicks reminded you of the hurtle you still needed to clear. “You don’t have to do that, Suguru. Keeping me by your side is all I could ever ask for… provide for me and…” You stopped, eyes closing for a moment as you breathed out a laugh. “Suguru.” He straightened at your tone change.

“Yes?” You could hear the concern lacing his words, as if you were suddenly going to say “forget it” and get up and go. Instead you steadied yourself “There is something very important you need to be aware of. It’s something I realized only two weeks after you left me and…” you didn’t like how bitter the words left me felt coming off your tongue. You had no reason to harbor any concern over the standing of your relationship, it was evident that neither of you considered yourself broken up from the other. “Go on, I’m listening.” He encouraged you, faced settling  into a look of concern because he wasn’t sure where you were taking this. “Suguru, I wish I could have told you sooner.” You let go of his hands, smiling he held them a little tighter. 

“I’m just standing up, Sugu.” You reassured him, heart fluttering as he gave you a sheepish smile. Suguru lets you go, watching you struggle to stand for only a second before leaping in to help you up. “Did you get hurt trying to come here?” he questioned, something so concerned and innocent that it almost made you laugh. He truly had no idea, you had to pat yourself on the back you supposed. Your disguise had worked out well enough in that sense. “No, no nothing like that, Sugu.” You smiled as you straightened, watching him take a tentative step backwards. “I really wish I could have told you sooner, but it’s better late than never.” Your fingers shook as you reached for the zipper of your oversized hoodie, dragging the cool metal down and shouldering the material off as your pregnant belly was revealed to Suguru’s eyes. 

You watched his face morph from concern to shock. “I’m almost twenty five weeks along, Sugu.” You let the hoodie fall to the floor, leaving you in a long sleeve shirt that was clinging to the swell of your stomach. “You may have left, but you didn’t really leave me alone.” You pulled your eyes away from his face to look down at your bump, hands lovingly caressing it. “I don’t know their gender, I didn’t want to find out unless you were with me.” You didn’t mind his silence, you knew it was likely a very overwhelming piece of information to learn. Suguru didn’t have the ability to speak anymore, instead he opted to close the distance between the two of you. With hesitant curiosity, Suguru’s large warm hands came down to cup your stomach. 

“You’re pregnant.” He uttered the obvious, as if trying to confirm he wasn’t dreaming. “You’re pregnant with my baby.” He said again, this time his tone was a little more possessive. You nodded, hands coming down to lay on top of where his hands sat. “Been carrying our baby this whole time, Sugu.” You heard him hum in acknowledgment, eyes full of wonder as your baby kicked. “They’re happy to finally hear their daddy’s voice.” You whispered, looking up at him through your lashes as he met your gaze. “I love you, with my whole being I love you.” you could hear it in his voice, nothing put pure love and adoration for you and your unborn child. “I’m so sorry you had to find out after I left…” He added softly, heart aching at the very thought. 

“I had Satoru and Shoko… they didn’t really make up for you not being present, Suguru. But they tried their damn hardest and I’ll forever be grateful for that.” He nodded, thumb gingerly brushing the skin below his hand. “Do they know you’re here?” He questioned you, eyes falling back to your stomach. It was almost too surreal to believe. Not only were you in front of him again, but you were very pregnant with his baby. “I left them letters. They have no idea I’m gone and they likely won’t know for a few more hours. I don’t have any intentions of going back.” You let the words hang in the air, you were certain Suguru wouldn't expect you to turn around and leave once this night was through. That didn’t stop the butterflies swirling in your chest out of anxiety anyways. “I have no intention of letting you go.” 

You couldn’t think in that moment, body pushing up on your tiptoes as if no time had passed at all. Your stomach hindered you a bit, pressing snuggly to Suguru’s front as your hands cupped his cheeks. Suguru caught on, of course, bending down and guiding you to him as your lips met in a soft kiss. You felt it then, the same tears burning your eyes as they shut tightly. Melting into Suguru’s lips felt like home, slowly piecing back the pieces he shattered to make you feel whole again. You could tell he wanted to deepen it, devour you whole in that moment so you’d never go. Instead, he pulled away with flushed cheeks that mirrored your own, pupils blown wide as he observed you. “I love you.” He repeated, looking at your lips as you replied back 

“I love you too.” 

Suguru kissed you again, cupping your face just  as you cupped his, holding you in place and bending down further so you didn’t have to strain so hard to meet him. The tears you had tried to whole back were flowing freely at this point, mixing with the kiss as it turned slightly sloppy. It took you only a minute to pull away again, eyes wet as you gasped for air. “S-sorry the pregnancy hormones they—“ but Suguru hushed you, using his thumb to wipe away the tears as they fell. “You have nothing to apologize for, my sweet girl.” He kissed your forehead, pulling back as he guided you away from the edge of the platform and closer to the barren altar behind him. “There are not enough words in the universe for me to convey how sorry I am for everything I’ve put you through. I’ve said it already, but so long as I am alive, so long as you are willing, I will do everything in my power to make it up to you.” 

“Keep me by your side, Suguru. That is all I ask of you.” You sniffled, tears flowing even faster as you restated your earlier request. Tenderly, Suguru brought your knuckles to his lips and kissed each one softly. “I will do more than that, my love. You will never have to work another day in your life, you will know nothing but love and comfort.” He promised as he flipped your hand over and placed a kiss on the center of your palm. “You, me, Nanako, Mimiko, our baby… our future babies.” He added with a small grin, causing  you to laugh softly through your tears. “The five of us, and whoever else may join us in the future. I will keep you safe, happy, loved.” He promised as he kissed your wrist, feeling your pulse race under his lips. 

You nodded, using your free hands to wipe your face as Suguru’s lips trailed further. You felt a shiver pass through your body as Suguru’s lips made their way up your arm. “I’ve missed you.” he repeated, tone huskier than before as he placed a kiss on your bicep. “So many nights alone…” he placed another kiss but this time it was on your shoulder. “I’ve been dreaming of you…” This time his head was dipping to nuzzle into the crook of your neck, inhaling the smell of you and groaning. “I missed you.” he murmured again, lips pressing to the pulse point in your neck as he let himself get wrapped in the scent of you. The scent he had missed so desperately. You felt it then, something you hadn’t felt in months. The bubbling heat pools in your gut, spreading throughout your body as Suguru’s tongue licks up your neck. Arousal. 

“S-Suguru please…” Your hand found its way into his hair, holding him in place as both of his hands wrapped around your waist. “Please what?” he murmured, teeth scraping your neck as he moved his head up towards your jaw. “Please… make me yours again.” He groaned, so low you could feel it vibrate against your jaw as he kissed it slowly. There was a tremor in his hands as he held you tighter, pulling you closer until the swell of your stomach was pressing tightly to his. “You’ve always been mine, my beautiful girl.” He promised you as he moved to kiss your lips again, the kiss was gentle but sloppy, your fingers twitching as you buried them in the fine silks of his robes. You gave in, body melting into his familiar touch as you let his tongue slip past your lips letting him dominate it, just as you always had. 

The feeling of his tongue sliding against your own drew whines from your lips, clinging on to Suguru just a little tighter as he began to guide you. The steps were awkward, drawing a breathy laugh from Suguru as he pulled away from you. “This will be a lot easier.” He assured you before bending down a bit to haul you up into his arms. You couldn’t help but squeal, surprised he was able to pick you up so easily even with the extra weight of your baby. “Suguru!” You cling to him, curious about his intentions as he moves to sit you on top of the bare altar. “Isn’t this a bit…” but he shook his head “don’t worry about it.” He placed you on top of the smooth wooden altar with a grin, making it so you were equal height now. 

“It’s a special Christmas offering.” 

He offered you as your brows were still creased in concern. “Suguru!” You squealed after, face feeling hot as his hands landed on your thighs, squeezing the flesh and making you shiver as his lips found yours yet again. “I’m taking my time with you.” He muttered between quick kisses, lips shiny with your saliva as your breath mingled. “I wouldn’t want it any other way.” You encouraged him, heart doing backflips at the idea of Suguru having his way with you again. You knew you missed him, of course you knew that, but sex hadn’t even been on your mind lately. Now, in this moment, you realized how badly you ached to be touched again, loved again.

Suguru left out a breathy moan, head falling forward for a moment before looking up to hold your gaze. “Have I mentioned just how badly I’ve missed you?” he teased, watching your lips quirk up as you tried to wiggle closer to him from where you sat on the altar. “I think you may have mentioned it once or twice so far…” You grinned, wrapping your arms around his neck and pulling him closer since you weren’t getting anywhere fast. “But that's enough with the talking, Sugu.” You moved so your lips were ghosting his ear, whispering seductively “Show me how badly you missed me.” He shivered, only fueling your desire as you got a little more bold. “Show me how badly you missed my body.” Suguru’s knees nearly buckled, you were too good to be true. 

Suguru took your request to heart, not wasting another moment by talking. His fingers easily found the hem of your shirt, pulling it up and over your head with your assistance. He couldn't help it, taking a small step back just so he could admire how you looked with your stomach swollen, carrying his baby so prettily. You felt your heart beating, chest rising and falling just a little faster than usual as the anticipation in your gut built. The warm amber of his eyes seemed to be swallowed whole by his dilated pupils, throat feeling dry as his eyes trailed up to your breasts. “These swelled up, didn’t they?” He asked in a teasing tone, mouth watering at the sight of your engorged breasts spilling over the top of your bra. “S-suguru.” 

“Well, they have, pretty girl. They’ll be full of milk soon enough, to nurture our little baby.” You couldn’t breathe, the overwhelming need for him to touch you nearly dizzying. “They’ve been so sore.” You offer quietly, looking at him through your lashes just to see his lips part. He seemed utterly entranced, warm hands sneaking around the back of you to find the clip of your bra. “Well, we can’t have that now, can we? Let me make them feel better, my love.” You nodded, feeling no shame or embarrassment as your bare breasts were exposed to his hungry gaze. Suguru had seen you naked so many times over the course of your relationship. Even with the rather extreme changes your body was going through, you still felt gorgeous when he looked at you the way he was now. “So pretty… they look so heavy… let me.” He breathed out carefully. 

You could feel the air getting caught in your lungs as Suguru’s hands gingerly cupped both of your breasts. The noise you made couldn’t be helped, lips wobbling as you whimpered at the sensation. “Oh? Are they more sensitive?” Suguru teased you, shamelessly fondling your breasts just to see you squirm. You nodded, one hand gripping the edge of the altar to balance you while your other hand shot up to grab his wrist. “Please, Sugu, they're really sensitive.” You whined, heat throbbing between your legs as he moved to pinch your nipple. “Even more sensitive than before?” He murmured, eyes focused only on your face as he rolled one of your perked buds slowly. “Y-Yes!” your back arched, forcing your bump to press into Suguru. “That’s good to know, pretty girl.” He squeezed just a little harder, smirking as you cried out. 

“So mean to me…” you wailed, as if nothing had changed at all. Suguru hushed you with a kiss, lips slotting against yours sloppily as he toyed with your breasts. You felt dizzy, completely intoxicated by the feeling of Suguru’s hands on you. You wanted him bad, needing to feel his skin rather than his robes. “Suguru…” you pulled away, trying to catch your breath as you uttered “Take your clothes off, please I don’t want to prolong this part.” He could take as much time with you as he wanted, but you were certain you would lose your mind if you didn’t see and feel his skin. “Whatever my lady wants, my lady gets.” He kissed you again before backing away. You sat on top of the altar, watching intently as Suguru undid the mildly-intricate layers to his robes. 

“C’mere” you murmured as Suguru was left in nothing but a pair of flowing navy colored pants. The material matched the robes, hugging his waist tightly and accentuating how broad he was. You hadn’t forgotten how he looked, but the last time you saw Suguru in person, he had thinned. Now, he was broad, covered in muscles, tanned even in the winter. It was the Suguru you had known before the world had changed his views. He walked towards you, a sense of pride in his steps as he displayed his new physique to you. “My handsome boy.” You murmured again, hands making contact with his soft skin and feeling him release a shuddering breath in response. 

Your touch never got old, every single time it felt like it was the first time you were laying your hands on him. You were mindful of where you put your hands, letting them dance across the plains of his chest before moving to his biceps. Suguru watched your hands move with baited breath, goosebumps erupting in their wake as your fingers moved lower. He couldn’t suppress the shiver that passed through him as your hands left his arms and moved to run along his sides. You were always so unpredictable with your actions, maybe that was why you were so elusive to just about everyone you met. Even when he thought he knew you like the back of his hand, you still managed to catch him by surprise. He could never get enough of it. 

Your hands rested on his waist for a moment, leaning forward to the best of your abilities to place a chaste kiss on his chest. One kiss led to two, then three. Before he could even utter a word, you were littering his chest and neck in soft, sweet kisses. There was no hiding his arousal, even in the loose fitting pants of his daily attire, Suguru’s cock was straining heavily against his briefs. “Y/N…” it sounded awfully similar to a plea, making his cheeks flush pink at the sound. You looked up at him, placing one last kiss on his sternum before moving back. Your hands left his waist, but not before trailing all the way up his sides and slowly sneaking around his neck. “Suguru.” you finally stated once you were pleased with your actions. 

“It’s my job to please you, you know. I don’t deserve any of this.” but you shook your head, hushing him softly. “Suguru, I love you with every fiber of my being. I have missed you for the nearly five months you have been away from me. I am going to shower you in the love I have been holding onto for all this time. Don’t you dare let your guilt taint the way you feel about me giving you my love.” You could tell he was struggling, after a moment of silence he nodded. It was a reluctant nod at that, but you knew it would take time for Suguru to overcome the weight of his guilt for leaving you in the first place. That was a battle for another day. 

What mattered was this moment. “Kiss me, please.” His request was so gentle, you couldn’t say no to him if you wanted to. Arms still wrapped around his neck, you pulled him to you and crashed your lips together once more in a heated kiss. Your body seemed to thrum with desire, every nerve ending sparking with electricity as the anticipation of what was to come built. You craved him like you craved air, so much so that if you were ever to go without him again you were certain you would not survive. Suguru’s hands lost their heistance once more, dull nails dragging up your back and causing you to arch into him. 

You couldn’t pull away, not when one of his hands found their home on the back of your neck. He kept you in place while his other hand snuck around from your back and found its way to your breasts once more. Your lips part easily, a cry ripping from your throat as Suguru’s fingers pinch one of your sensitive buds. He took the opportunity before him once more, tongue dancing around yours as he pulled and massaged the tender flesh of your swollen breasts. You squirmed on top of the altar, feeling your arousal clinging to your underwear as you moved. It only caused you to feel hotter, the deep rooted desire to feel him inside of you once more was becoming too much for you to bear in that moment. 

Your legs spread to accommodate him better, scooting yourself forward so your covered sex was pressing to Suguru’s abdomen. He could feel the heat radiating through your bottoms, making his head spin with the desire to feel your cunt once more. “Fuck I missed you.” He nearly hissed as he pulled away from you with spit covered lips, swollen from where your teeth had been pulling at them. “Show me how bad.” You slurred, eyes lidded as you tried pulling him back to you. Suguru doesn’t hesitate anymore, letting you bend him to your whim. His lips find their home on yours once again, teeth and tongue clashing together as your hands wander his body. 

Suguru’s teeth are sinking into your bottom lip, pulling at the pliant flesh and trying his hardest not to smirk as you whimper at the sting. His hands are mimicking your own, gliding over every ounce of bare skin he can reach, dull nails scraping until he feels you erupt in goosebumps. He pulls away again, leaving your head spinning from the constant changing contact. Before you can even open your mouth and complain, Suguru’s head is burying itself in your neck. He knew your weak points like the back of his hand, teeth scraping against the column of your neck before finding the perfect point to bite down. A shrill moan left your lips, no longer muffled by Suguru’s lips on your own. His canines were creating the perfect amount of pressure, sending your heart into a frenzy as if you were preparing for him to pierce your skin.

Suguru eased up a moment later, his hand slipping down between your bodies to press his fingers against your covered cunt. The sensation sends sparks of arousal through you, making your thighs twitch as he lapped greedily at the teeth indents he left behind. “Mine…” he gasped between licks “all mine.” Your mind blanked the moment his fingers found their way to your nipple again, twisting and pinching the sensitive bud until you felt tears burning your eyes. “Sugu, please!” You tried to jerk away, fingers threading in his silky locks as you tried to create some sort of relief for yourself. Everything was too sensitive, the ache forming so deeply within your body that you were certain you would lose your mind before he made you cum. 

“Please what?” He rasped, sucking at your skin until it bruised. “Fuck me.” You begged, tears pricking your pretty eyes and driving him absolutely wild. “Fuck you?” Suguru smirked, tugging your nipple until those pretty eyes shed the tears you were holding back. “Fuck me… oh fuck please, Suguru.” Your tone turned whiny, higher than usual as desperation won over your pride. You’d get off this altar and beg him on your hands and knees if you had to. Even if it would be a bit of a struggle with your rather round stomach.  “How am I supposed to say no to that?” he soothed you, hands abandoning  your breasts to cup your cheeks. He kissed you again, this time it was softer, with the intent to take his time even if it killed you. 

You felt drunk, chasing his lips even as he pulled away. Shakily, Suguru’s hands moved down your body, holding your hips as his head lowered to trail wet kisses down your neck. You caught on to his intentions as he moved lower, kissing your collarbone before moving to your chest. Suguru’s tongue ran along your sternum, pulling a whimper from you as he placed not one but two loving kisses on your sensitive breasts. “You’re so perfect.” He smiled up at you, lips hovering over the swell of your stomach. “Such a good mama already.” So gentle it nearly made you cry, that sadistic side of him fading quickly with the overwhelming desire to please you took over his original intentions. Months apart didn’t allow for him to tease you in the way he once did. Not now at least. 

“So beautiful.” He added one last time before kissing your stomach. He showered your pregnant tummy in kisses, nose nuzzling you softly as your baby’s fluttering kicks reached him. You felt your face burning up as Suguru moved lower, as if he hadn’t been all over you for the last few years of your life. “I missed this cunt…” he mewled softly as he lowered to his knees before you. “Dreamt of it every time I got lonely…” he huffed out a laugh “which was very often.” His fingers were hooking into the waistband of your pants, eyes meeting yours as if to confirm one last time that this is what you wanted. You nodded, lips parted as quiet gasps shook you. “Take me, Suguru. I’m all yours, always have been.” His eyes fluttered closed, inhaling deeply to try and ground himself before he lost all self restraint he had. “Whatever you want, you’ll get.” 

You lift yourself awkwardly, giving Suguru enough room to pull your pants and underwear off in one easy swoop. You grimaced slightly as your bare skin met the smooth wood of the altar, it still felt rather wrong, but now wasn’t really a time to be questioning your morals. Suguru was shameless as he admired what he had been missing so dearly, not even his wildest fantasies could compare to you. “Fuck.” So soft you barely heard it, but still enough to have your thighs twitching as you spread them further for him. Your hands met the smooth wood behind you, leaning back to get comfortable and push most of your weight on your hands and arms so Suguru could access you better. “May I?” His breath was hot on your inner thigh, nearly panting. “Of course you may, is that even a question, Suguru?” 

“I guess it’s not, but I just want to make sure.” He didn’t give you a moment to respond, lips pressing to the plush of your inner thigh and sucking softly. You felt your lips tremble, eyes nearly tunneling as you focused on the top of his head over your baby bump. Suguru sucked bruises into your skin, inhaling your natural musk as he did so. One hand rested on your thigh, thumb brushing the skin beneath him tenderly as his other hand sank lower. Suguru groaned, vibrating your skin as his own hand brushed over his covered cock. Your heart was beating erratically, waiting not-so patiently for Suguru to do what he really wanted. Which was to devour you whole, but still, ever the patient man, he was taking his time. “Suguru…” you breathed out, hips moving forward just a bit to silently encourage him to cut the teasing. 

He didn’t answer you, nose trailing along your inner thigh as he palmed himself through his pants. He was savoring every second of you being before him again, so much so that he couldn’t help but take his sweet time with this part. Though, his self control could only be stretched so far before he, too, couldn’t take it. Your hands nearly balled into fists as he retracted, a moment later his warm  breath was fanning over your glistening cunt. “Thank you for this blessing.” He offered slowly, dragging each syllable out until you felt its message vibrating the base of your skull. Finally, after what felt like an eternity of torture, Suguru placed an open mouth kiss on your slick folds. One kiss led to two,  three, four, then his tongue was slipping between and running along your slit. You moaned, loud and unashamed as Suguru collected your juices on his tongue. 

One hand was still groping himself, alleviating some of the ache but not nearly enough to satisfy him. His other hand was now squeezing your thigh rather than gingerly rubbing it. He had missed your taste, fuck had he missed your taste over these months apart. Your arousal was sticky, its flavor unique and utterly addicting. He could do this for hours if it meant tasting every drop of your cum. Your head was falling back, your thighs no longer twitching and tense. Rather,  they fell apart with no resistance, leaving your cunt completely at his mercy. Suguru’s tongue was still gliding up and down your slit, stopping at your clit every few passes to flick at it, feeling your muscles jump under his ministrations before moving down towards your entrance. This was just another game of him teasing you until you were making a mess atop the altar without even coming. 

“Suguru…” you choked out, the arousal in your body thrumming with the need to be satisfied not tortured. Maybe he could hear that desperation in your tone, his nose bumping your pulsing clit as he pushed his tongue past your entrance. “Oh fuck.” You mewled, eyes nearly rolling back from the pure sensitivity. You hadn’t realized how reactive pregnancy would make you. Even the slightest of touches had your toes curling. It had always felt good, Suguru’s tongue had always managed to work unspeakable wonders on you. But now? It felt as if everything had been amplified, your lips trembling as the faintest signs of your impending orgasm began creeping up on you. Suguru was mindful of his position, using his nose to his advantage as he began to tongue fuck your cunt. “P-please… oh fuck…” your arms were feeling weak, causing  you to adjust you your elbows in order to not fall flat. 

Suguru’s tongue buried as deep as he could manage, using his nose to nuzzle your clit until your pants had turned to rapid gasps. If he wasn’t so preoccupied, he’d tease you for how sensitive you had become. It seemed every little action he made was causing your hips to jerk, a shrill cry leaving your pretty lips as he toyed with your cunt. Feeling you twitching beneath him, Suguru pulled his tongue  away from your entrance to focus on your clit. His nose could only do so much, after all. You couldn’t take it, the dizzying  feeling of Suguru’s lips wrapping around your aching clit and sucking so harshly your back arched. Pleasure shot straight through you, making your thighs tense as you clenched around nothing. He was going to make you cum in record time at this rate. That realization had you burning up, eyes squeezing shut as you tried not to scream his name for the whole temple to hear. 

Though that didn’t really help you much, loud and unrestrainable cries left your lips amidst a jumble of pleas. Suguru’s name was intertwined into every profanity, begging him to let you cum. Suguru’s hand left your thigh, instead shooting up to dip two fingers between your drenched folds. You sucked him in greedily, your cries only turning shriller as he began roughly massaging your walls. Tears leaked down your cheeks in fat globs as you clenched around him, causing his fingers to stutter their pace in the process. Not that you noticed, your vision was already spotting with stars as your orgasm grew nearer. “S-Suguru fuck… I’m gonna cum… you’re gonna make me cum Sugu… please… fuck please let me.” You were drunk off of your own lust, eyes lidded as you pleaded with him in nearly incomprehensible babbles. 

He responded by curling his fingers, digging into your walls just right. His tongue was still flicking over your clit, the varying sensations were making your head spin. “Sugu please…” You cried again, walls clamping around his digits so tightly he struggled to thrust them at all. He moved even faster, how that was possible you didn’t know, but stars were sparkling across your vision as you came hard. That didn’t cause him to slow down, actually it was quite the opposite. Suguru continued to fuck his fingers into you at a rapid pace, moaning wantonly as your slick squelches only turned louder in volume. Your orgasm had reached its peak but it wasn’t slowing, your wails turning into silent gasps as Suguru began to overstimulate you. It wasn’t until he finally pulled his lips away from your cunt that your body relaxed. 

“Good girl… such a good girl.” Suguru murmured, eyes memorizing the sight of two of his fingers disappearing inside of your glistening cunt. You couldn’t form a coherent sentence if you wanted to at that moment, arms feeling shaky as you tried to keep yourself propped up. Suguru caught on after another few seconds, pushing up from his kneeling position to stand before you again. You watched him stick the two digits in his mouth, sucking them clean before speaking again. “Don’t tell me you’re already worn out, my love.” He smiled at you, chin and lips covered in your shiny cum. You shook your head slowly, despite clearly wanting to utter a weak “yes”. Suguru’s arms wrapped around your waist, pulling you into a sitting position so he could kiss you properly. You let him do as he pleased, just like you always did, letting his lips sloppily cover yours so you could taste your own release. After a minute, he pulled away with reddened cheeks. 

“Fucking you… it…” he stuttered a bit, suddenly turning shy as he tried to figure out how to word his question. “It won’t harm the baby… will it?” You felt your eyes widen, lips twitching into a smile as you shook your head. “Sex while pregnant is actually very safe, Sugu.” You assured him, not at all ashamed in the research you had done on the matter only a few weeks back. “Positive? It won’t harm you or the baby?” He asked for your reassurance despite having his fingers buried in your cunt moments prior. Not that his fingers were anything in comparison to his cock. “I’m positive, no harm can be brought to me or the baby during the act… You’ll just have to be easier on me, Sugu… I’ve gotten a lot more sensitive.” You felt your cheeks heating up, regardless of everything you’d just gone through. “Alright…” he kissed you again, softer, before pulling away.

You watched him with lidded eyes, a ghost of a smile on your swollen lips as Suguru began undoing the waistband of his pants. You were focused on the way his veins seemed to jump out as he undid the buttons, the sight making your jaw clench. Inch by inch, tanned and toned skin was revealed to your hungry gaze. Suguru was trying to hide his excitement as his cock was freed from the confines of his pants. You whined at the sight, even your fantasies did nothing to compare to the real thing. For a moment you nearly groaned about how much you had missed him. You managed to hold it in, not willing to subject yourself to his endless teasing, at least not right now. Right now, what you wanted was “Please… you’re taking way too long, Suguru. I want you so bad…” You were repositioning yourself the way you had been when he went down on you, this time forcing your legs up to rest your feet on the edge of the altar. 

A position that you typically didn’t have to think much about was now causing you some difficulty, but you could push that aside if it meant he’d move a little faster. Suguru stepped out of his bottoms and discarded them off to the side with the rest of your crumbled up clothes. “Old habits die hard, you know. I can’t help but draw things out, my pretty girl.” He closed the distance again, hands resting on your knees and unintentionally alleviating the pressure with his support. “I know, but I want you so bad… I want you inside of me, Sugu.” He was twitching, precum leaking steadily from his irritated looking tip. “Fuck… okay… okay…” one hand left your knee to wrap around the base of his neglected cock. Carefully, he gave himself a few harsh tugs, groaning as mild relief flooded his veins. You wanted to grumble about how you couldn’t see him over the swell of your stomach, especially since he knew how much you enjoyed watching him. 

“May I?” Suguru asked, eyes meeting yours but you tilted your head. “Words, Sugu… I can’t exactly see down there right now…” You held in a giggle as his lips parted before closing again, rosy cheeks deepening as he realized his fatal mistake. “Oh.” laughter was laced with those two words, causing you to smile back. “May I use your cum as lube?” Suguru spoke slowly, smirking at you as your small smile turned into a look of surprise. “I-Oh… fuck.” You choked, the back of your hand pressing to your mouth for a moment before you squeaked out a “yeah.” Suguru moved a second later, guiding the dull head of his cock between your folds and spreading them. You breathed out, low and stuttering as his head passed over your still sensitive clit. He repeated the motions a few times, watching you jump as he’d get caught on your entrance before moving up again. Suguru only stopped once he couldn’t tell what was covering him more, his own pre-cum or your arousal. 

His fist began dragging up his length, spreading it until he felt it was good enough for your comfort. “Lay back… if you can.” Suguru’s tone had turned soft, yet again giving you whiplash from the constantly revolving tones and emotions. You nodded, pushing yourself further up the wooden altar. You weren’t quite sure what Suguru had in mind at that moment, watching you get yourself situated so your whole body was on top of the platform. You leaned back, resting your body weight on your elbows but stopping when you felt your body begin to strain. “Kinda hurts…” you mumbled, cheeks feeling warm as you tried to find a comfortable position with your swollen belly. “I bet it’s too much pressure to be on your hands and knees, right?” His eyes had softened, admiring you with a small smile as he watched you nod. “Would it be easier if you had support under your back?” Your brows creased, contemplating for a moment before nodding. 

“It wouldn’t hurt to try.” Again, you didn’t quite know how Suguru was going to go about helping you with that. But he was walking away from you, over to his discarded silk robes, and you felt your face burning up with the realization as he began to fold them. “These are soft, if I place them under your back it should offer you some comfort.” he grinned as he walked back towards you on the altar, the fine robes folded in a neat pile. “Sugu… what if we get them…” but he shook his head, helping you sit up again so he could place them behind you. “If they get dirty, they can be cleaned. I have a few backups of these, you know.” You shook your head, fighting off your laugh as he motioned for you to try and lay back again. “How is that?” Suguru watched you carefully as you tried to get comfortable. “If it doesn’t help, I can figure something else out.” You had to avert your gaze for a moment, eyes lingering on his leaking cock before meeting his eyes.

“I doubt you’ll be able to think straight for much longer, Suguru.” 

His eyes widened, cheeks flushing red as he was rendered speechless by your comment. “This feels fine, Suguru. Just get up here with me.” You were leaning back on your elbows again, this time to watch him climb up on top of the altar with you, opposed for comfort purposes. “Show me how much you missed me, Sugu.” He couldn’t help himself any longer, moving to climb on top of you as you leaned back completely. It certainly wasn’t the most comfortable position or location you had been fucked in, but it would do. Especially when he was right there in front of you again. Nothing else mattered but him. “Fuck I love you.” he nearly choked as he pressed his lips to yours, hands bracing himself by flattening on either side of your head. Your legs fell open easily, allowing him to press up against you as you locked your ankles behind the small of his back. Your hands found their home on his biceps again, the warmth of your bodies pressing to one another was as dizzing as the kiss. “You good?” he rasped as he pulled back. 

“Yeah, I’m fine.” You assured him, knowing he was worried about putting any weight on you. “I’m a little sensitive but I’m not fragile, Sugu.” You would say anything at this point if it meant he’d get inside of you quicker. “Please just… tell me if something isn’t right.” You could feel his hips grinding up against you, cock sliding along your cunt but not going further. “I will… fuck I promise I will but Suguru please… I need you inside… so bad…” you whined, losing sense of your own rationality again as he teased you unknowingly. “Okay…okay…” desperation was lacing his own words, one hand moving down to wrap around his shaft and guide his cock to your entrance. “It’s been a while, I’ll try to go slow.” You grumble out some sort of response, too worked up to care as his head pushes between your folds. Suguru feels your breathing stutter as he slips in, your cunt stretching to accommodate him. It didn’t hurt, but you could feel the pressure ebbing its way down to your thighs, inhaling deeply as you tried to relax. 

Suguru was focused, leaning back a little bit so he could watch himself disappear inside of you. “Almost half way, sweet girl.” you whined out an “okay”,  eyes looking past him to the ceiling of the temple above you before moving back down to the top of his head. It felt like you needed to keep making sure this was real, that he was really in front of you, nevermind inside. Your walls were suctioning to him, clenching involuntarily as he finally bottomed out after what felt like an eternity. “There we go… oh fuck…” your face was contorted in pleasure, watching Suguru fall apart from simply entering you was more than you could handle. “Fuck I missed you… I almost forgot how good you feel… shit.” He couldn’t move yet, even though his hips were restless. Suguru was certain if he moved, he would cum then and there. He wasn’t even sure how he had managed to keep it together while entering you, cock twitching so harshly he was certain he would have blown his load half way in. “Suguru…” 

His name was one of the few words you could remember at that point, the most your brain was willing to offer as it melted into a puddle of mush. “I’m right here.” he cooed, leaning down again to press his lips to yours once, twice, three times before showering the rest of your face in chaste reassuring kisses. “You’re doing so good for me, sweet girl. Taking me so well after so many months… you’re so perfect… so fucking perfect.” he breathed, forehead pressing against yours as his body contorted around the swell of your stomach. “Just tell me when I can move, okay?” he had gotten himself together somehow, now all he wanted was to hear you tell him it was okay. You nodded, inhaling deeply before uttering out “okay… you can move… just start slow.” Suguru let out a shuddering breath, kissing you one last time before he drew his hips back halfway. 

Suguru had always relied on harsh, quick snaps of his hips for you, knowing you enjoyed things rather rough. The request to be easy, start slow, be gentle with you, it was a change of pace he hadn't been prepared for. You whined for him, finding pleasure even as he rolled his hips into you to try and find a pace that felt good for him. Your cunt hadn’t changed, still warm and tight, squeezing him to the point it was nearly hard to move. “A-are you okay?” breathless “You’re so tight… it’s not uncomfortable for you, right?” You nodded, face warming as you tried to find the right words. “I-i’m okay it feels really good… just… sensitive…” you moaned as he rolled a little deeper, brushing that one particular spot. You clenched, somehow growing even tighter and causing Suguru to groan loudly. “Y-you’re doing so good, Suguru…” His eyes opened, meeting your gaze to make sure you weren’t just saying it to appease him. 

“I mean it.” you added, lips falling open as another breathy whine left you. Suguru’s hips continued to roll into you at an agonizing pace, sending shivers straight down your spine as molten pleasure settled in your gut. “Y-you can speed up when you’re ready too…” It was your not so subtle way of showing your impatience, earning a low chuckle from Suguru as he rolled his hips at a faster pace. Your whines only grew in pitch, words of encouragement falling from your lips as Suguru worked towards a pace where he’d be able to thrust into you without overwhelming you. “I missed this cunt so bad…” he choked out, eyes lidded and mouth hanging open partially as he let himself get lost in the embrace of your body. “So fucking soft…” he coudln’t get over it, the way your velvety soft walls clung to his cock with each movement. 

It wasn’t until his hips began to snap into you, watching your breasts bounce with each connection of your hips that Suguru realized how close he was to coming. 

“Oh fuck…” he choked, face heating up as his hips stuttered in their pace. “Is something wrong?” you nearly cried out, eyes welling from pleasure as you looked at him. “I-Shit.” he gasped, hips unable to stop their movement. “Gonna… fuck I’m gonna cum.” he got it out finally, head falling foreward because of embarrassment. He hadn’t had this issue since the first time you two slept together, back then it was from pure inexperience. Now, it was because he’d gone too long without you. “O-oh…” you gasped out, back arching near painfully as he passed over that one particular spongy spot again. “...s’okay if you cum…Sugu… I don’t mind… ha…”  You were close again yourself, pregnancy causing you to become more sensitive than you thought possible. You couldn’t recall a time where you had cum without any other stimulation to pair with Suguru thrusting into you. “I-are you sure…” his head lifted, face completely red as he tried to concentrate on not making an absolute fool of himself. 

“J-just because you come it doesn’t mean you have to pull out.” you added weakly, accidentally clenching around him and causing you both to moan in unison. “G-give me your all, Suguru.” Your plea was enough to have him curling into you, head resting on your chest as his hips stuttered into your cunt. You couldn’t decipher what he was saying as he came, the words sounding like nothing more than mumbled nonsense. It was only when your own breathing settled that you realized what he was saying. “Thank you… thank you… thank you…” Over and over, quiet praises, thanking you again and again. Shakily your hand came up to run through his sweaty hair, your other hand resting on his bicep. “I’ve got you…” you added softly as you felt wet tears littering your chest. How odd it felt to see a grown man fall apart in every sense of the word. Suguru relaxed on top of the altar, slowly pulling himself back together as he looked at you. “I love you.” he uttered with pure adoration in his eyes. 

“I love you too.” You whispered back, hand slipping from his hair to his cheek, cupping it. “You’re so pretty, Sugu.” you smiled as his eyes closed again, nuzzling into your palm. “So are you… ya know.” he cleared his throat a bit, hips still buried deep. “I’m…” he laughed a bit. “I’m still hard.” You laughed with him, a bit worn out already “I know, I can feel it.” Your hips wiggled, Suguru watched as your face contorted in pleasure as you pushed him further into that one particular spot that had you seeing stars. “You still need to come, pretty girl.” he was regaining his composure with each passing second. “You’ve already made me come once.” But you knew he was having none of that, five months apart did not equate to one orgasm. “We both need to get off still.” he corrected, watching that pretty smile take over your features as your hands moved to wrap around his neck. “Alright, if you still have the energy…” You teased him softly, pulling him closer to ghost your lips across one another. “Make me yours, again and again.” 

“Always.” he kissed you, softer than any kiss you had shared that night. Slowly he found his rhythm for a second time, hips drawing back and forth into your spent cunt. Everything was hotter, wetter, thanks to Suguru’s release. Every moan was swallowed by his lips, tongues dancing around each other as Suguru’s hand slipped down between your bodies. Even with your pregnant stomach, even with the position you were in, he still managed to sneak his fingers down to your clit, rubbing it harshly until you were nearly yelling. Your body reacted to every touch, your orgasm building again, this time much faster than before. “Oh-oh fuck…” you were babbling again, fingers clawing at Suguru’s arms as your cunt clenched tightly around him. Saliva was smeared across your swollen lips, Suguru broke the kiss just to hear your noises properly. “Come for me… fuck I know you’re close… come for me…” Suguru pleaded with you, hips growing sloppy again from his own sensitivity. You let out another loud cry of his name before spilling all over him, cunt clenching tightly as a warm gush of your own arousal dripped down to the altar below you. That was enough for Suguru, a string of curses flooding his mouth. 

Still sensitive from his first orgasm, Suguru seemed to feed off the aftershocks by spilling into you a second time. You both laid there for a moment, panting heavily in the large, echoing chambers that surrounded you. “Merry Christmas.” You offered weakly, a hint of laughter coating your words as Suguru’s head fell to your chest with a breathless laugh. “Best christmas gifts I could have ever received, ya know.” He looked up at you, cheeks still a bit flushed as he pressed a kiss to your forehead. “I know it’s still a lot to process… but you’ve got a home with me if you’re willing to take it… I know I said I wouldn’t let you go but…” Still hesitant, you smiled softly at him, hand cupping his sweat cheek as you soothed his worries. “My home is with you, Suguru. From now on, where you go, I go.” Suguru’s shoulders visibly sagged in relief, leaning down to kiss your forehead for a second time with his eyes closed. 

“Let’s get cleaned up and go home then, my sweet girl.” 

Despite everything, you found yourself praying once more that this wasn’t just a dream. “Yeah, let’s go home.” You smiled as his eyes opened, watching him straighten and kneel before you. You felt him slip out, making you both groan before his hands were reaching to help you up. “What a mess…” you were quiet as you looked down at the ruined altar top. “It needed to be replaced eventually.” Suguru reassured you, getting down off of the polished wood and assisting you to the best of his abilities. “Do you think you can walk?” you felt your brows creasing at his question, wondering if your legs would be able to support you and your baby if you were to get off of this altar. “I… guess we’ll find out.” But Suguru’s arms were on you in a second, supporting you almost entirely as he helped you get down to the floor. You had to admit your legs did feel jello, shaky and weak as you tried to stand without support. “That won’t do.” Suguru chided, more so mad at himself for not taking it easy on his pregnant girlfriend. 

“It’s okay, just help me get dressed so we can get out of here… I need a shower.” Suguru’s release was starting to drip down your thighs, warming your face as older memories entered your mind. “Yes ma’am.” He grabbed your things one at a time, helping you get your bra on, then your shirt. Next he got his own robes on so he could leave the room to get you a washcloth for the mess he made between your thighs. He returned a minute later with a warm, wet cloth in one hand and a fresh dry one in the other. “My stuff is at a hotel, Suguru. We’ll need to get it before heading home.” While you could survive on Suguru’s clothes for a day or two, you desperately craved the silky maternity pajamas you had bought yourself a while back. “Alright, I’ll have the driver called to pick us up. He’ll bring us to that hotel and I’ll retrieve your things. Then we’ll head home. Nanako and Mimiko are going to be so ecstatic to meet you, sweet girl.” 

Your heart skipped a beat at the thought, the two little girls Suguru had taken in would be waiting for their honorary father to return home. But what about you? “Are you sure? They know I exist?” you questioned as you spread your legs, letting Suguru gingerly clean up the remnants of his release and your own. “I’ve told them all about you, they refer to you as Mama Y/N.” Mama. You blinked, maybe it was the pregnancy hormones making you sensitive, but that brought tears to your eyes. Suguru had never once spoken badly of you in your time apart, going as far as to speak about you so lovingly to these two little girls that they referred to you as mama without even meeting you. There was still so much that needed to be sorted out, so many emotions to pick apart, but for now it was christmas eve. Those things could wait for a day or two, for now all you needed to focus on was you, Suguru, and your baby growing within you. 

December 24th, 2007 [Somewhere around 6:30pm]

“Cheer up, Satoru. It’s christmas eve and you’re moping around.” Shoko pressed his arm, watching his unfocused eyes snap back into reality just to see her. “What?” She sighed, shaking her head as she moved to lean against the wall Satoru had planted himself against. “I feel bad that she isn’t here, too, Satoru. But she said she wasn’t feeling good…” But Satoru shook his head, pushing himself off the wall for the first time that evening. “She’s withdrawing from us, she has been for the last few weeks… ever since…” But he couldn’t say it, for some reason he found himself choking up trying to utter Suguru's name. “Ever since she saw him, I know.” Saying his name wasn’t exactly smart given the people in the room with them. “She’s just… she’s alone on Christmas Eve, Shoko. That’s not fair… we should be with her or she should be with us.”  He began shifting from foot to foot, for the first time that night he felt antsy enough to get off the wall he glued himself to and move. “I agree, Satoru, but she doesn’t feel good…”

“I think she's full of shit, using it as an excuse.” he spat with more venom than necessary, not really directed at you but more so directed at himself. Shoko studied him for a moment, unsure of how to continue considering they were in a room full of close friends. Friends who all felt the absence of three particular people… Haibara, Suguru, and of course, you. It was a much quieter Christmas eve than previous years. So, reluctantly, Shoko pushed off the wall “Let’s get some air, Satoru. I think you could really use it.” Satoru met her gaze, lips parting before closing again and shoving his glasses further up the bridge of his nose. Without a word, he unpeeled himself from the wall and trailed after Shoko. The two had barely stepped foot into the cold air before Satoru was seething again. “She’s distancing herself from us, Shoko, don’t you realize that?” Shoko was pulling a cigarette and lighter out of her pocket, bringing the cylinder to her lips as she mumbled out “Of course I recognize that, Satoru.” for a moment he bit his tongue, the urge to scream at her for her casual nature was making him feel weak to his own emotions. 

“Then what do we do? We’re going to lose her if we don’t figure this out…” if he hasn’t already. Satoru couldn’t shake the pit in his stomach, the feeling that he had already lost you was weighing him down. He had let Suguru slip through his fingers, and now it seemed he was letting it happen all over again with you. “I have no idea, Satoru. I won’t lie, I’m not as close with her as you are… I mean you guys just seem to have a much deeper bond than friendship…” Shoko corrected when Satoru’s head whipped in her direction. She loved you dearly, and she knew that you loved her right back. But she would be an idiot to deny the fact that you and Satoru seemed to have a bond much deeper than friendship. “I don’t know what you mean–” Satoru choked, lips pressing into a thin line as he nervously pushed his glasses up again. “Don’t lie, Satoru. You know exactly what I mean.” But Satoru was not going to openly admit to his feelings for you right then. “You love her in a different way than me, Satoru. You have since our first year here.” But it seemed Shoko was more than willing to take the opportunity for him. 

“Now isn’t the time…” but he could feel his voice trembling as he spoke, head turning away from her to glance across the courtyard. “Then when is it time, Satoru?” Again, something he didn’t have the answer for, something he probably would never have the answer for. “I…fuck I don’t know okay? But right now definitely isn’t the time.” He looked as if he wanted to jump out of his own skin, Shoko inhaled her smoke deeply before pulling the cig away and letting out in one breath. “Go to her, if you think that is what’s right. But don’t come back at me if she bites your head off for waking her.” Maybe Shoko had a little too much faith in your capabilities to remain strong. Satoru, on the other hand, felt like he was racing against a timer that may have already hit zero. “Alright.” Was all he could push out in that moment, feet moving before his mind could even process it. “But we do need to have this conversation at some point, Satoru!” Shoko called but he was already halfway across the courtyard. “Some Christmas Eve this is.” She huffed, watching the smoke slip past her lips again as she let her head fall back. 

If she could, she would run to you right now and hold you close. But things had grown so complicated, for some reason she couldn’t find the strength to sit down and pull the information out of you. Deep down, even though she didn’t want to admit it, she knew it was only a matter of time before you disappeared just as Suguru had. She couldn’t say she blamed you, had she been in your shoes she would likely do the same. She knew how dear he was to you, how much love you held in your heart for him even after his deflection. Now you were carrying his child. Shoko could come to terms with the fact that her support and her presence was small in comparison to the support and love Suguru would shower on you and your unborn child. Satoru, however, could not swallow that pill and keep it down. He loved you, much more than a friend. Shoko has known that since your first year at Jujutsu Tech, as much as Satoru had been pining, Suguru had beat him to you… and inevitably won your heart. She knew it ate him alive to this very day. 

—

Satoru couldn’t figure out why his hands were trembling as they gripped the railing. Every step he took, every step that carried him up towards your dorm floor had his legs threatening to crumble. He couldn’t shake the doom gripping at his heart, as if he somehow already knew that something was terribly wrong. Still, he pushed forward despite his heart threatening to break out of his ribcage and fling itself out the nearest window. It was quiet as he hit the landing, so quiet it felt empty, as if there was no human life inhabiting the floor. Satoru’s stomach was dropping with each step he took, forcing air into his lungs just to exhale slowly as he approached your dorm’s door. His hand raised, knuckles rapping against the door. “Y/N? You Awake?” 

No answer. 

Satoru’s hand wrapped around the cool metal of the doorknob before twisting and pushing it open. “Y/N?” he took a step inside, surprised to see your desk lamp on. It took Satoru another second to process that you weren’t present in the room. He blinked slowly, eyes traveling over a room that now felt foreign to him. Inch by inch, he noticed that things were missing. Your room feels emptier than usual, and not just because of your absence. “Shit.” He chokes, walking further into your dorm room to assure himself that he wasn’t imagining it. Usually, he’d never invade your space in such a way but Satoru found himself ripping your closet door open and cursing louder when he realized a majority of the hangers were empty. 

He couldn’t see straight, not as he stumbled backwards and out of your room. Satoru’s legs carried him on autopilot, straight down the hall to Shoko’s empty dorm room. He pushed the door open, flicking on the lights and checking her bed to make sure you hadn’t snuck in to it. As expected, it was empty. The door slammed so hard it rattled the frame, but Satoru couldn’t even hear it, not over the roaring of blood in his ears as he stumbled down to his dorm room. He swung the door open so hard it hit the wall and ricocheted back at him, but he was already in the room and out of its path. His eyes were frantic, wide and unnerving as he looked at his empty bed… a note neatly sitting on his pillow, his name written in your scrawling font. 

Bile burned Satoru’s throat, without even picking up the envelope he knew it was a goodbye. 

The bile burning his throat wasn’t going back down, panic ebbed through his veins as he turned on his heels and stumbled into the bathroom. Satoru puked the little contents he had left in his stomach, tears blurring his vision as he tossed his glasses onto the tile floor. It wasn’t until he heaved a third time that his knees gave out on him, hitting the cold tile below him with a sickening thud. He couldn’t see through the tears, a mix of broken sobs and curses falling from his lips as saliva filled his mouth and his stomach squeezed painfully tight. For a minute he thought it would be impossible to pull air into his lungs, maybe the universe would grace him with blacking out. Maybe when he woke up he’d realize this was all a bad dream. 

But the universe wasn’t that kind to Satoru, it probably never would be.

There, on the bathroom floor, the strongest sorcerer was reduced to a crying mess. All because of you, all because of his mistakes, all because of things he had let slip through his fingers. How childish could he be? To mess up so badly the first time that he failed Suguru. The eyes that were supposed to see everything had let his best friend fall with no one to catch him. Now, it was you, right before his very eyes he watched you slowly decay into a shell of your former self. But, again, he ignored the warning signs and you had slipped right through his grasp. He couldn’t process anything else in that moment, fingers gripping the sides of the toilet as he heaved again. 

Satoru wasn’t sure how long he remained a crumpled heap on his bathroom floor, but eventually there was nothing else that could come out of him. In a daze, Satoru pulled himself off the ground, flushing the toilet’s contents, standing to grasp for the faucet’s knobs and pulling until cold water rushed from its opening. The cold water grounded him, forcing air into his too-tight lungs, one after another, until tears were flowing freely down his cheeks again. Was this a panic attack? Is that what it felt like? Like you were drowning on dry land? He wasn’t sure, but he knew he needed to read whatever you left behind in that envelope. 

He needed to have some idea on why you did this, even if he knew why you did this. He turned the water off, silence ringing in his ears as he dried his shaking hands and stumbled into his too cold bedroom. Satoru wiped his eyes, over and over and over until the tears stopped long enough for him to see clearly. Grabbing the envelope, he sat himself down at his desk, letting the lamp’s golden glow illuminate the words he was too scared to read. He stared at it, blinking slowly as he looked over your handwriting. How did he let this happen, not once but twice? That anger from earlier was bubbling in his stomach again, threatening to reduce him to a scared child as he hurled anything left in his stomach. This time he swallowed it down. 

The paper was cold in his hands as he ripped open your neatly put together work. Inside the envelope was one piece of paper. One piece of paper was all you needed to say goodbye. His heart clenched, lips forming into a scowl at the very thought. Maybe he had been a fool all this time, a fool to think he meant anything of significance to you. The urge to rip the single page nearly overtook him, not willing to let you explain yourself and just throw it away. You had thrown everything away, after all. What harm was him ripping up one, useless, pathetic letter? 

He set it down before doing something that irrational, his mind going through a mix of emotions that he could only describe as grief. Mourning someone who wasn’t dead all over again. 

Satoru stared at the letter, heart squeezing so tightly in his chest as he spotted water marks. Water stains where your tears had smudged the ink slightly. Every ounce of anger in his body seemed to vanish the moment he saw them, something so small that delivered such a big message. He inhaled deeply, trying to find some sort of sanity to cling to before picking up the page and reading everything you had written for him. It was you after all, no matter how upset he got, he’d never be able to do any of the things he had contemplated only seconds prior. Shakily, he picked it up, holding it at an angle where he could easily read its contents. 

Satoru, 

I don’t know where to start, so maybe it’s best if I don’t even try. If I were to sit here as I am now, writing down every single thing I ever wanted to say to you I’d run out of paper and time. So, although you deserve far better than this letter, I will try and keep it short and to the point. 

You have done everything for me over these last five months, and there is nothing I can do that will ever amount to something worthy of returning the favor. I will forever be thankful for everything you have done for me. I would not have survived these last few months if it weren’t for you, Toru. 

I don’t want you to blame yourself, because my choice is completely my own. There is nothing you could have done to change my mind. I think we both know that, whether you want to believe it or not. I can’t imagine the pain I’m causing you by doing this… I’m not going to ask for your forgiveness because truly I don’t deserve it and I don’t expect it. 

I cannot go about my pregnancy without Suguru knowing. This is something that is meant to be precious to me, cherishing every minute of my baby growing inside of me… but I haven’t been able to enjoy it. My child deserves a happy mother and their father to be in their life. The only thing you are unable to provide for me, Satoru, is bringing Suguru back to our side. 

I have no choice but to go, for the sake of myself and the sake of my baby, I need him to know. 

This isn’t how I wanted things to happen, you know. I don’t think that needs to be said because of course I didn’t intend on getting pregnant and Suguru losing his mind. I didn’t intend on leaving you or Shoko. I didn’t think I’d ever have to say goodbye to you, Satoru. Nevermind having to say it through a shitty letter. God this is fucking stupid. You deserve so much more than a fucking letter. 

Please, find your happiness, Satoru. I love you. 

Your Y/N

Tears were burning his tired eyes, distorting your words as he tried to read it for a second time. Time seemed to stretch on forever in that one moment, leaving him to feel like a hollow shell of the person he once was. His heart was no longer within his chest, he was sure of it. Half of it had been taken by Suguru when he deflected. Now, the other half was long gone, tucked away in whatever belongings you had taken with you when you left. Nothing but a hole was left in its place, the broken halves of his heart were somewhere far away with the two people who meant more than anything to him. Maybe they’d do him a favor and stitch the halves together again. 

~ END OF PART 2 ~

Thank you so much for reading, I hope I didn't hurt you too much. As always, likes, comments, reblogs, and asks are always welcomed and greatly appreciated... till we meet again in part 3 :) - May 🩵

#jujutsu kaisen fanfic #jjk fanfic #jujutsu kaisen smut #jujutsu kaisen angst #jjk smut #jjk angst #geto suguru smut #geto suguru imagines #geto suguru x reader #suguru geto #geto suguru #suguru geto x reader #geto x reader #suguru x reader #suguru x y/n #suguru x you #jujutsu kaisen imagine #satoru gojo #gojo satoru #shoko ieiri #geto smut #satoru #gojo #geto x you #geto x y/n #jujutsu kaisen #jujutsu kaisen scenarios #May's Pale Blue🩵

[xozombiee]

“𝐍𝐎 𝐏𝐎𝐋𝐄!” | S. GETO

✫ | synopsis: going to a halloween party with your friend, only to get high and fucked in a car after eating canes with a hot ass guy dressed as a priest.

notes: need priest geto so bad omfg like i would literally drop to my knees for five minutes w him! this is also heavy based off of seat taker by @/ coconutdays <3

warnings: dub-con? (they’re just a little high but i’m putting the tag just in case), praise :3 (sweet girl, sweetheart, baby, etc), handjob, riding, p in v without protection, geto eats coleslaw, gojo cause he needs his own warning.

partying was never your thing. you hated the smell of booze, the sight of two people grinding against each other while intoxicated made you wanna vomit, and every guy would stare at you like a piece of meat for sale, even the ones in relationships.

not even the infamous satoru gojo’s parties would lull you into going. just the idea of it was so..eugh. gojo was one of the many guys in a frat. him and his other friends were in it, and were mostly known for always filming themselves trying to drink an entire beer keg in one standing.

so it was safe to say you’d never go out to one. at least until now.

you stand outside a house that blared muffled music out to the streets. the purple cheerleading outfit (the one from jennifer’s body) you wore started to feel tight against your skin. any self confidence you once had started to fade when you took a single glance at the house.

the sound of your friends voice pulled you from your trance, the high pitched sound coming from behind you.

“girl, you’re gonna be fine!” she reassures, though the gleam of mischief in her eye wasn’t that reassuring. “i even got you a bodyguard in case i end up leaving with my man.”

you raise a brow, trying to think of who this bodyguard was. it had to be someone who wouldn’t be drinking. then it clicked. “oh, god. you’re forcing ‘nami to babysit me?” you frown.

she giggles, the feathers on her fembot costume swaying as she did. “he said he’s cool with it! he only comes cause haibara forces him to anyways.” she grins.

an internal groan filled your head as you squeezed your eyes shut. maybe you could pretend to be sick. that could work. nanami would probably fall for it and take you home.

before you could even begin to start pretending to feel ill, your friend grabs your hand. she drags you toward the house with a frightening pace. you wanted to protest, but figure there was no point in it anymore.

when you enter the house, all you see are crowds of people standing. some danced along to the music, which you appreciated that it was actually good.

as your friend drags you through the house, you end up in the kitchen. it’s filled with people either taking shots, smoking, or talking. your friend pours two cups of pink whitney before adding a bit of sprite into it. she hands it to you with a smile. “lighten up!” she says.

drinking your nerves wouldn’t be so bad, but someone would have to take the two of you home. nanami would already be handling haibara since they were roommates, so there was really no one else.

you take light sips out of your cup. the sprite wasn’t mixed well with the vodka, making you cringe on the inside. the sound of the music transitioning makes your friends eyes light up.

“I love this song!” she shouts before she quickly grabs your hand and starts to pull you to where everyone was dancing.

in the process of being dragged by her tiny figure on light speed mode, you accidentally bump into someone. your drink spills out of your cup onto them. with widening eyes, your gaze switches to an infamous white haired male.

of course you would be the one to spill your drink on satoru gojo.

you quickly apologize as your friend rushes back to the kitchen to grab a hand towel. when she comes back, she pats it at his bare skin that held suspenders along his shoulders. “i’m so sorry! it was my fault.” she apologizes once more.

a firefighter costume..honestly, what did you expect?

gojo takes in your friends appearance, smirking slightly to himself. “it’s alright, sweetheart. don’t sweat it.” he reassures.

you roll your eyes at his words. before you can make a snarky comment about his bad flirting, the sound of a low voice comes from behind gojo.

“having fun, satoru?” he asks with a raised brow.

the person wore a priest outfit, hair half up into a bun while the rest hung around his shoulders. you almost choke on your almost-empty drink at the sight.

gojo grins at his friend, “yeah. you?”

the man sighs, glancing at your friend. “if i had known all you needed was someone to spill a drink on you so you’d stop pouting, i would’ve done it twenty minutes ago.”

the white haired male laughs before bending down to your friends ear. he whispers something that causes her to giggle and nod her head in reply. she discards the small towel onto the kitchen island before attempting to turn to you.

“go get nanami! i’ll find you guys when i’m done!” she shouts as she gets dragged away toward the crowd of people dancing.

you watch them with disdain held in your gaze. it only took five minutes before she was whisked away. you’re not surprised though, any girl would’ve fell for that spell. even you.

“so, you’re friends with kento?”

swallowing the last drop of vodka, you glance at the priest-dressed man in front of you. “yeah. well, i have english with him. we became close friends when we got assigned a project together.” you answer.

he hums, nodding in amusement. “oh. you like him?” he asks out of curiosity.

you furrow your brows, shaking your head. “no, no. i mean, ‘nami’s handsome, but i’m not actively trying to pursue him or anything.” you reassure, feeling nervous underneath this guys gaze.

a laugh falls from his lips in reply to you. the song transitions, and he glances at you.

“wanna dance?”

your eyes widen a bit, brows furrowing in confusion. “me? now?”

he approaches slowly, taking one of the shots left unattended on the counter. “yes, you. the one dressed as a cheerleader. very cliche, by the way.” he teases.

scoffing, you place your cup onto the counter. “coming from the guy dressed as a priest. i’m dressed as jennifer check, by the way.” you retort before walking towards the crowd.

he follows you like a lost puppy, squeezing through the same gaps as you did. when you eventually find a spot in the crowd, you turn to see him there too.

feeling the amount of alcohol start to kick in, you let the music take over your senses. you sing along to the lyrics, some of it barely audible to hear since other people were doing the same.

“SHE DONT WANNA STRIP NO MORE, DONT WANNA HIT THAT POLE!” you shout, giggling a little when your words fumble.

the man in front of you grins, watching you bounce like you’re at a rave. more people begin to join the crowd causing you to stumble into some people behind you.

a hand latches onto you when someone takes a step back and almost makes you fall forward. your eyes meet the priest-dressed man, giving him an embarrassed look.

“you alright?” he asks, helping you stand fully.

you nod in reply, “yeah, thanks.”

when the songs over, there’s a pause within the music as it transitions. you glance at the dark-haired man.

“what’d you say your name was?”

he meets your gaze, “i didn’t. it’s suguru geto.” he answers.

you let out a small ‘oh’ when his name lingers in your head. it sounded familiar. “i’m-”

“i already know.” he interjects with a grin.

a worried look paints your face as you stare at him. geto almost laughs, but bites it back. “i only know because i have english with you, too.”

english? when was he..oh. he was in your english class.

“i’m sorry— i didn’t realize that was you.” you apologize, feeling guilty despite only ever seeing the back of his head. and it was usually in a bun.

he waves it off, “it’s fine.”

when a new song starts to play, your feet ache as you try to move. scrunching your nose up in pain, you glance at geto. “wanna get out of..this?” you ask, gesturing to the people around you.

he smiles and nods before taking your hand. geto leads you out of the crowd, dragging you to a less packed area. as you walked, slowly, you realize how big the frat house was.

geto leads you outside to the pool area where some people sat around. they all were either smoking, or just hanging out and enjoying the cool autumn air.

the dark-haired man sits you down onto the pool chairs. he sits across from you on the one beside it, grabbing your ankles. he takes off the uncomfortable boots (that you purchased for costume accuracy) slowly. setting them on the ground beside you, he lets your feet sit on his knees.

“better?” he asks.

you nod at him, “yeah. thanks.”

he gives you a smile in response. “we can switch if you want. i’ll let you wear mine for the rest of the night.” he offers.

one of your brows raise as you glance at his feet sitting on the ground. “i dunno if your feet will fit in my boots.”

geto laughs, “satoru and i are the same size, so i’ll take one of his.”

a small ‘oh’ falls from your lips, not thinking of that. glancing back at geto, your head tilts onto your shoulder.

“how’d you even become friends with him anyway?” you ask out of curiosity. “you don’t seem like the type to hang around him.”

“i don’t seem like the type?” geto questions with an amused expression. “well, if that’s the case, you haven’t really met me then, sweetheart.”

you let out an exaggerated sound of disgust, making geto laugh. “me and satoru have been friends since primary school. been stuck together ever since.”

“ohh..so you’re like besties?” you ask, giving him a grin. “how cute.”

geto rolls his eyes, matching your grin. “more like a brother. his family is kinda..rough, so i hope to bring some comfort for him.”

you nod in understanding. having someone like geto seemed nice. he seemed like the type you could be free around, which is what gojo probably needed from his silver spoon family. you’d hoped to do the same for your friends as geto did his.

the silence between the two of you feels calm. it’s not awkward, like you’d expected.

that was until a certain blue eyed male comes outside and interrupts.

“suguru!” he coos, coming over to the pool chairs with a blunt in one hand, lighter in the other.

your eyes widen a bit when you realize he was alone. where the hell was your friend who he just walked away with thirty minutes ago?

“where the hell is she, gojo?” you ask with a worried look.

the white haired man glances at you as he thinks. the nonchalance on his face then turns to a grin when he realizes, a small ‘oh’ falling from him.

“she’s with shoko.” he replies carelessly.

you sigh in relief, your body relaxing against the chair. your eyes dart over to gojo once more as his lighter flicks against his thumb.

when the flame ignites, he pulls the small torch to the blunt between his lips. he inhales it slowly before exhaling, watching the smoke fall from his mouth.

he passes it to geto, who glances at you as he brings it close to his lips. “you smoke?”

you’d smoked before, but it wasn’t something you did all the time. you always preferred edibles over inhaling the smoke since you’d embarrass yourself with a fit of coughs.

shaking your head, you politely decline. “i do, just don’t really like it. thanks though.”

you watch gojo pout a little at your refusal. “aw, come on, babe. just one hit.”

geto hits him softly, “she said no, satoru. don’t force her.”

a sudden feeling of anxiety began to pick at your nerves. you extend your hand to geto, gesturing to the blunt. he looks at you with confusion.

“i’ll do it just once.” you assure him.

he hesitantly passes it to you, watching as you bring it your lips. you inhale it slowly, that familiar burn scratching at your throat. pulling it away from your lips, you slowly exhale and manage to not choke yourself to death.

“atta girl.” gojo grins, coming over to take the blunt from your hand.

as he does so, you swallow harshly to hopefully relieve the pressure in your throat. geto spares you a glance. he nudges your foot to get you to look at him. “you good?”

you nod in reply, “mhm. s’just been awhile.”

geto nods, looking over at gojo who was smoking it like a pro. the white haired male passes it to him once more, the blunt moving into his long fingers. geto leans over to you before inhaling it. he pulls it back from his lips after a long hit, blowing the smoke into your face.

“that better?”

you nod slowly, eyes taking a glance at his lips. “still prefer edibles..but yeah, that isn’t bad.” you reply.

he grins, pulling away. geto turns his head to gojo, raising his brows as he takes another, smaller hit. “you still got them gummies from the other night?”

gojo nods, “yeah, they’re in my room.”

“go get ‘em for her.”

the other male raises a brow before getting up and doing as asked, walking off back toward the house. you watch him move quickly, as if ready to get back to the two of you.

turning your attention back to geto, you give him a small smile. “didn’t take you for a smoker either.”

“oh? how so?”

you shrug, looking over at the pool as the lights lit up underneath the surface. the blue hue it held was bright. “just a hunch i was having. too bad i was wrong though.”

he matches your small smile, looking down at his lap. “well, you’re not that far off. i don’t smoke like satoru. any time he gets pissed off, he’s gotta have a smoke. he swears it’s not an issue though..”

a small giggle falls from you as the sliding door to the pool area opens again. gojo appears and approaches the two of you with a small strawberry flavored gummy bag in hand. he waves it before passing it to you.

“anything else, my liege?” he asks geto, making the darker haired man chuckle.

gojo plops down beside you as you open the bag. the small gummies have a strong scent that immediately hits your nose. gojo beats you, putting his hand into the bag as it sits in your lap.

he pulls one out, popping it into his mouth. you mirror his actions, placing your own on your tongue. the sweetness takes over the ache in your throat, causing your tastebuds to go crazy. you go to grab another before gojo stops you, giving you a look.

“not too much, sweetheart. i can tell you’re a lightweight.” he says, sounding more harsh than he probably intended.

geto glances at him, “she’s fine, satoru. she can’t get high off one.”

you raise a brow at the white haired male, keeping eye contact with him as you dig back through the bag and pull another out. you open your mouth, bringing the sweet treat to your tongue. gojo watches it sit between your teeth before you close your mouth and begin to chew it.

as the two start to talk, you tune their voices out and look around in a daydream. the edibles start to kick in and you feel a little dizzy, which was normal for you when you got high.

a loud crash from inside the house interrupts them, and gojo gets up with a huff. “if these assholes broke my shit, i swear to god—” he mutters as he walks away.

geto glances back at him with a chuckle, the blunt between his lips (though it’s now smaller). he turns to you, watching your dilated pupils stare into his.

“you feelin’ it?”

you manage to nod in reply, making him flash his cat-like grin. “figured. satoru always gets the strong stuff.” he laughs.

an ache begins to run though you as he speaks. your back feels uncomfortable in the slouched position you’re in, and your legs are going numb from the odd position on top of getos thighs. you take your phone out of the pocket in your skirt, looking at the time.

“shit. it’s late.” you mutter, mostly to yourself.

geto glances at you, taking one last hit before pushing the bud into the metal of the pool chair to extinguish the fire. “you need a ride home?” he offers.

shaking your head, you shrug. “probably. i dunno where my friend is or when she plans on leaving.” you sigh.

he gently moves your feet from his lap, standing up with a small stretch. “i’ll take ya’ home. let me go grab a pair of satoru’s shoes and we can go, yeah?” he says, meeting your gaze.

you nod in reply, watching him enter the house. it only takes a few minutes before he returns, his black shoes held in his hands while he wore a white pair on his feet. when he approaches, he bends back down to your level, slipping his shoes onto your smaller feet.

he ties them as tight as he can so they won’t slip off as you walk. once he’s done, he stands, grabbing your boots in the process.

geto extends a hand to you, “let’s go.”

you take it, lifting yourself up from the chair. he leads you back into the house, pushing past some people to get to the front door.

the front yard doesn’t have as many cars in front of it as it did when you first got here. geto walks with you along the grass as he heads toward a black car with tinted windows.

he opens the passenger door for you, extending it so you have room to enter. you laugh as he slightly bows when you climb into the car. a moment passes before he reaches the drivers side, getting in himself.

when the car starts, you take in the inside of it. he kept it clean. there wasn’t any trash (except for a gum wrapper in the cup holder), and it smelt nice. you hum as his heated seats begin to warm your skin.

a soft tap at your thigh breaks you from your daze. you glance at geto with a half-lidded gaze as he holds his phone.

“what’s your address, babe?” he says quietly, not threatening to go an octave above what his voice was at.

you take his phone, slowly typing in the address before handing it back to him. he nods to himself, setting the phone onto the phone mount at his dashboard.

the car begins to move, and your eyes watch as the houses leaves your line of vision. getos music plays in the car at a low volume. you hum along to it, watching the street lights as you pass them.

“it’s only one. wanna go get something to eat?”

you turn your head to glance at geto. eating sounded good. really good actually. but you didn’t bring your wallet.

“i don’t have any money on me.” you reply.

geto chuckles, “i didn’t ask if you had money, i asked if you wanted food.” he says.

a feeling of warmth spread within you at his words. was food the way to your heart? ..possibly. you smile at him, eyes scanning his figure.

“fine, but don’t go to taco bell. they gave me food poisoning last week.”

he turns his head, giving you an amused expression. “noted. i was thinking more of canes anyway. that good with you?”

you nod in reply, leaning forward to turn the music up. childish gambinos voice plays out the speakers, your head moving to the beat.

turning to geto, you lip-sync to the song. he smiles at you, watching the way you lean closer to him from across the console.

“you always act like this when you’re high?”

giving him a small pout, you roll your eyes. “i’m barely high.”

“so you just act like this?” he shoots back.

“no.”

you enter town, the car driving by multiple buildings and restaurants. geto takes a left into the canes parking lot, driving toward the ordering speakers. a few buzzes from your phone catch your attention. you look at your notifications to see your friend spamming you with texts.

favorite slut<3 : WHERE ARE YOU?????

favorite slut<3: oh nvm satoru said you went with geto

favorite slut<3: OKK I SEE U🫣

you roll your eyes at her texts. fingers typing back quickly, you reply to ease her previous worries.

you: i’m good

you: also ‘satoru’??? u guys fuck lmfao?

she starts to text back after you hit send. she was probably going to go on a whole rant about gojo. a hand brushes your thigh again, causing you to glance up once more.

“what you want, hun?” geto asks, one hand on the steering wheel as he glances at you.

your brain goes quiet for a moment before you realize what he was asking. “uh- the three finger combo is good. get me some water with it.”

“you sure? i’ll get anything you want.”

if you had no self respect, you’d be dripping right now.

“mhm.” you hum. “that’s all i want.”

he moves back toward the window, saying the order to the worker. your phone buzzes again, but you don’t feel like answering at the moment.

geto pulls the car toward the window, sliding his card to the worker. they were surprisingly quick with your food, giving geto the bag as soon as he pulled up.

he hands it to you, thanking the worker before driving off. his eyes search for an empty parking space before slotting the car into one. he parks the car, turning to you as you sort through the bag.

you open one of the boxes, seeing a serving of coleslaw in the corner. with a disgusted expression, you turn to geto. “oh, you’re a freak. coleslaw? absolutely not.”

geto rolls his eyes, taking the box from you. “you gotta dip the bread into it. that’s what makes it taste good.” he defends.

“nuh uh.”

“fuck you mean ‘nuh uh’? i’m right.” he replies, matching your look of disdain.

you try to hold up a front, but fail as you giggle. “whatever.”

“no, seriously. just try it.”

he hands you a piece of his bread, coleslaw topping it. your face scrunches up in disgust as you take it from him. taking it into your mouth, you chew it quickly before swallowing it.

geto looks at you with anticipation. you glance at him with a defeated gaze.

“fine..it’s okay.” you admit, making him smile. “i’m still not eating that shit though.”

he laughs, “i won’t force you to.”

after sharing another giggle, the two of you eat in silence momentarily. you chew a piece of chicken, glancing at geto. the cross necklace he wore lowly hung from his neck. it shined in the streetlight next to the parking lot.

“what made you wanna go as a priest?” you ask.

he takes a sip of his drink as he thinks. “satoru and i dared each other to wear embarrassing costumes.”

you hum, stifling a laugh. “so the firefighter was your idea?”

“mhm. it was the cringiest in the store. well, besides the sexy pirate one.”

laughing, you take your own sip from your drink. “oh? that would’ve been a sight to see.”

he nods in agreement, watching you smile. you hold his gaze for a moment before looking back at the plate of food in your lap.

“i think the priest is a good look on you. definitely not something you would ever actually be though.” you say, a ghost of a smile on your lips.

geto raises a brow at you, “you think it’s a good look?” he asks.

you roll your eyes playfully. “do i need to repeat myself?”

he discards his plate into the plastic bag, shrugging a little. “the cheerleader is a good look on you, too.” he replies.

a wave of embarrassment rises to your chest. you glance at him, fidgeting with your cup. “you think?”

leaning back against his seat, he turns his head to you. his eyes look you up and down. “yeah. it’s cute.”

you slowly move closer to him, elbows resting on the console. your eyes drop to his lips, a small smirk on your own. “is that why you asked me to dance? thought i was cute?”

he copies your actions, leaning down toward you. your noses almost brushed as he looked down with his hazy, red eyes. “what’d you think, sweetheart?” he answers.

with a face as hot as the sun, you lean forward to connect your lips to his. they feel smooth against yours, the taste of his soda coming onto your taste buds.

one of his hands moves to your jaw, pressing you closer to him. he threads the other through your hair, feeling the texture between his fingertips. you let out a soft whimper when his tongue prods into you mouth for an opening.

you pull away for some air, inhaling quickly before moving to his neck. his flesh was burning on your warm lips. geto lets out a groan in response to you tugging onto the black dress shirt he wore to get better access to his neck.

“baby— hold on, yeah?” he says breathlessly.

geto moves away, hands falling to your hips. he pulls you into his lap, your legs dragging across the car as you sat above him. one of his hands move to push the seat back a bit to give you more room.

you waste no time to attach your lips to his neck again. he lets out another noise when you nip the skin between his shoulder and neck. you drop your hands from his waist, moving toward his belt.

pulling away, you look up at him. “can i?” you whisper.

he nods quickly, huffing like he’d just ran a mile. you undo his belt, listening to it jingle as you push it to the side. your hands dip into the waistband of his underwear, feeling the hardness of his cock underneath it.

geto squeezes your hips when you run your fingers over it, grazing over the tip. you warm him up a bit before pulling it out from the boxers he wore. he was big, bigger than you would’ve expected.

as you start to pump it gradually, geto hisses quietly. his precum oozes from the tip, soaking your palm. soft moans from geto fill the car, making the uneasy feeling in your stomach transfer to the cotton panties you wore.

he shook in your grasp, his fist bundling up the cloth of your costume. geto let’s out shuddered breaths and shaky moans when you speed up. his hips move upward into your palm, his eyes squeezing shut as the pleasure took over.

you can feel him get close as he twitches in your hand. he looks up at you when you release him, his eyes blown out with lust. you move closer to him, pressing a kiss to his jaw.

his fingers move underneath the skirt of your costume. he palms the front of your underwear, feeling the slick you held. “oh, sweet girl. i haven’t even done anything to you.” he coos.

the cool air hits your cunt when he steadily pulls them off after getting permission. he kneads the flesh of your thighs, looking up at you in admiration.

“you sure you wanna do this? we don’t have to, y’know?” he mutters.

a smile forms at your lips, feeling your heart swell a little. you give him a nod before leaning down and pressing your lips with his.

geto moves your hips closer to his, running two of his fingers across your slit. a shuddered moan falls from you and into his lips. he uses the slick to prep himself, rubbing it along his length.

he pulls away from you, moving his lips to your ear. “i’m goin’ in, ‘kay?”

you give him another nod as he aligns his tip with your entrance. when he pushes in a little, you let out a small sigh. inch by inch, he fully slides into your pussy as his hands caged around your hips.

the dark-haired man lets you adjust to his size for a moment, brushing the hair out of your face while you looked down at him with furrowed brows.

“it’s okay, baby. take your time.” he whispers, caressing your cheek.

god, does he even realize what he’s doing?

once you give him the ‘ok’ to keep going, you lift your hips slowly before easing back onto him. you watch him firsthand as his mouth drops open and his eyes rolling back as a broken moan pushed past his lips.

it was filthy and euphoric, and it made you lift your hips again and slam back down just to hear him moan. geto’s body trembled, his grip on your hips tightening as he surrendered to the pleasure taking over his body.

“suguru..” you whisper, mouth dropping as he manages to brush the sweet spot inside you without even trying.

one of his hands come back to your face, gripping your jaw to pull you down to him. he shoves your lips into his, a groan falling from him.

"so fucking perfect." geto manages to say between kisses, and you reward him with a squeeze of your pussy, making him lose the rhythm of his thrusts.

the intensity of the moment heightened as his grip tightened on your skin, his kiss silencing you completely. with each desperate thrust of his hips, he struggled to maintain the little bit of control he had.

he moves his thumb to rub at your clit, and the tip of his cock repeatedly nudges against that one spot that has you falling apart on top of him with a loud cry. your orgasm hits you hard and geto can’t hold it in any longer. he fucks into you for another minute, eyes squeezed shut as he groans out your name.

your pussy milks him dry, and he fills you up to the brim—to the point where you could feel him leak out of you. the both of you pause, your hands resting on his chest as you catch your breath.

geto rubs smooth circles into your hips, huffing out as you did too. “you alright, baby?” he asks, looking up at you.

you nod, catching your breath before leaning down to press a kiss to his forehead. “v’never came that quick before.” you murmur.

he smiles a little, running a hand into your hair. “wanna see if i can do it again?”

#xozombiee #i love men #this is a cry for help #jjk suguru #jjk x reader #jujutsu kaisen #getou suguru smut #geto suguru #geto x reader #getou suguru x reader #i love geto #men need to dress as priests more often #jujustsu kaisen x reader #i’m so normal #guys believe me i’m okay in the head #mental illness

[the-crooked-library]

On Horror, Queerness, Mirrors, and Dracula

Your wish is my command (you may or may not regret this). 

Here’s the thing - I love horror, and I love patterns, and I think the best horror is always in some sense symmetrical.  It might not be obvious, but what’s the point of staring into an abyss if you can’t see your own face reflected back?  The symmetry itself comes in any number of different twists, whether it is familial, communal, erotic, or individual, and most of these apply to Bram Stoker’s Dracula. 

The centre of our novel rests on the Harkers.  So, starting with Jonathan - his experience in Transylvania is a twisted version of his life back home.  Dracula is reserved but eloquent, seemingly caring and occasionally affectionate, he reads train schedules and they spend hours upon hours in conversation; which is a dark mirror to Jonathan’s train schedule-loving, passionate but serious Mina.  It may even be said that the Count is re-enacting a caricature of traditional heteronormative domesticity - he maintains the household, waits on his guest himself, and blows him kisses from the stairs.  His possessiveness of Jonathan is the only way a vampire like Dracula is capable of understanding the bond Jonathan shares with Mina.  The Count states that he, too, feels love; but he is written by a closeted gay man in the late 19th century, so his imitation of married life is both a lie and a tragedy.  He is a shorthand for forbidden, wrong, and corrupting desires. 

At the same time, Mina herself also has a same-sex connection in the beginning of the story, and her relationship with Lucy mirrors the relationship between Jonathan and Dracula.  They cling to each other, in a sense; despite being excited about the prospect of their impending marriages, there is some trepidation associated with this new stage in life.  A common part of a dowry used to be a shroud, simply due to the frequency at which Victorian wives died in childbirth soon after the wedding; and even provided a survival, the transition to married life was still a loss of innocence.  As such, Lucy’s affection for Mina is the last expression of her girlhood, and she herself is the personification of Mina’s.  Lucy is, therefore, the direct antithesis of the Count; her death and subsequent rising change Mina the same way that Dracula does Jonathan, establishing a firm duality between the Harkers and their respective vampires. 

The other characters are reflections of each other, as well; the suitors defend while the brides terrify, Van Helsing wants to preserve life while Renfield wishes to consume it - and even further, the old Hungarian lady cares enough about  a stranger to give Jonathan a cross for protection, while Lucy’s own mother lets Dracula into the house herself, selfishly ignorant of her daughter’s needs and the doctor’s orders.  Another parallel is drawn again between Jonathan and Renfield, who represents directly what he could have been, had he not escaped from Dracula’s grasp; which makes Renfield’s vehement, last-ditch attempt to protect Mina perhaps all the more poignant.  In him, she sees the resilience of Jonathan’s humanity; while he gets to see exactly what she could become after her turning  - in Dracula himself.  These dualities are integral to the story’s thematic structure, and therefore inextricable from each character’s development. 

There is really too much to say about each individual dynamic to fit into one rant, but for the current purposes, I can forgo the details.  They all converge as it is on Jonathan and Mina, and thus, the central theme of this story is devotion.  If Jonathan had truly broken, like Renfield, Mina would have stayed by his side; and if she had fully turned, like Dracula, he would have adored whatever shred of her still remained.  In madness and in death, in happiness and sorrow, in sickness and in health - until the echoes start to sound like wedding vows. 

@stripedshirtgay​

@bluberimufim​

#dracula #dracula daily #jonmina #jonathan harker #mina harker #dracula meta #bram stoker #y'all asked for this #now scream with me bc i've been internally screaming about this for years #it's about the DEVOTION #lucy westenra is mina's innocence #dracula is jonathan's fear of inadequacy #renfield is his humanity #dracula is an evil version of mina i said what i said #that's Partially why jonathan wasn't weirded out enough #like yes yes eccentric old count #but he writes a diary in shorthand #and his fiancee loves train schedules #who's he to judge

[strongheartneteyam]

I wish I could

Pairing: Neteyam Sully x female!curvy!human reader

CW: mentions of sexual fluids and sex itself, fluff, angst, pregnancy symptoms such as throwing up (maybe you shouldn't read if you find that too gross)

I'm really insecure about this chapter I guess I'm just thinking "Oh no but a human couldn't conceive a baby with a na'vi no way" but you know what this is MY avatar AU so it doesn't have to be completely canon I'm just a crazy perfectionist please forgive my madness guys 🥲 Anyway, it's just kind of a transitional chapter with some fluff and important stuff happening at the same time if makes any sense ?? I'll shut up now hope u like this 🤡

The words in italic are the translation of something said in na'vi previously.

Chapter 5

♡

Chapter 4

After Neteyam made love to you, he kissed your forehead, grabbed your hand and took you to the nearest river and cleaned you up. Your sex and thighs were all covered with his semen and you were all sweaty. Your body was still hot from what happened previously so you got shivers when your feet touched the cold water. But it was a good sensation. The Pandora waters were always so fresh and amazingly blue. It was such a sight to see.

When the both of you were deep into the river, the water covering you until your waist but it only getting to the middle of Neteyam's thighs, he started to use his hand to wash his seed off of you. You started to laugh 'cause the movements his hand was making were ticklish.

"Stop that, skxawng." (moron), he said laughing "Lemme clean you up fast 'cause it's getting close to the eclipse. Our parents will be waiting for us to reunite with the people for dinner."

"Eywa! You're right! I completely forgot about it."

Neteyam clicked his tongue "My beautiful airhead." He slapped your head slightly, not enough to hurt you, just to tease you, making you look at him with a wide smile in your lips. He was the most perfect being you had ever seen. You couldn't believe he was yours. His fangs hanging out of his mouth when he smiled back at you were so cute and sexy at the same time. You knew he could use his sharp teeth to rip someone's throat open but he would only use them to protect you.

After you were ready, Neteyam took a quick bath in the river waters and then you guys headed to the tribe. He was holding your hand and helping you so you didn't trip on any twigs fallen on the floor as you guys needed to walk fast because it was getting dark and dangerous in the Pandora forests. Your parents would be so worried if you two didn't show up soon to meal time.

You felt your cheeks blush when you walked into the sea of na'vi and a few humans reunited around the bonfire, eating their fruits and meat already. You couldn't wash away from your head that only 1 or 2 hours before you were moaning while Neteyam mated with you in the middle of the forest. Eywa, what if you guys had been caught? What if, Eywa forbid, Jake or Neytiri walked into you having sex with their son while they were hunting? You wanted to die just thinking about it.

You and Neteyam were no longer holding hands but you two were walking side by side.

He smiled at you and said "See you later?"

"I don't know. It's getting close to sleep time but maybe we'll talk a bit after dinner?" You said

He only moved his head down slightly in response, still smiling, not showing teeth, and headed to his family. You had just noticed Jake was looking at the both of you, a serene look in his face. You wondered if he was just looking at you two or if he knew something was up.

You knew Jake liked you a lot and he was a father figure to you, since your biological father had died and your na'vi mother, Ao'ite, lost her mate long ago, before you were even born. He died together with many other na'vi in a battle against the Sky People. You wondered how many na'vi had cried over a deceased loved one who was killed by humans. You hated your own species and was ashamed of being one of them. But you reminded yourself of something Jake would always tell you, since you were a child:

"You're one of us, little one. It doesn't matter what your biology is. You live like us, you love and respect our land, you speak our language and pray to Eywa. You're just as much na'vi as I am. Don't forget I once had a human body like yours." He said, sitting down on his heels to look better at your small human child frame and touching your chin slightly, making you smile and say "Thank you, Jake. I'm not sad anymore. If you say I am a na'vi, then I believe you."

He smiled big at you and you went running back to Ao'ite, who took you in her arms, wrapped your legs around her waist, her hands below your thighs and mouthed "Thank you" to Jake. He only motioned his head down a bit, smiling slightly at her.

But even knowing Jake loved you as if you were one of his own children, you still wondered what he would think about Neteyam choosing you as his mate. Would he be against it because you were a human? What about Neytiri? Would she be okay with it? Their eldest son was soon to become the next Olo'eyktan. He was being trained by his father almost everyday. Maybe his parents would think it's better for him to mate with a good na'vi girl. And you knew he would have plenty of options if he wanted to. You weren't blind to the way so many na'vi girls looked at Neteyam. And they were all so pretty and skilled. And the most important part was; they could give Neteyam children. You felt your heart ache.

You realized you were still standing in the same spot Neteyam left you. Swiftly you started walking towards your mom. She had a worried look on her face.

"Are you alright, my child?" Ao'ite asked as you sat down next to her

"I'm okay, mom. I was just lost in my thoughts." You said smiling at her and taking a reddish small fruit into your hand and taking a bite out of it

"I noticed you came to meal time with Neteyam. What were you guys doing that you both arrived here late, together?"

You almost choked on your fruit when you heard her saying that. There was something about mothers, it didn't matter if they were human or na'vi, but they always knew when you were up to something.

"I was just listening to music in the forest, in a safe place, away from dangerous animals, as you taught me, and Neteyam found me there and decided to stay with me for a while. You know he likes to listen to music from Earth with me. I always tell you how happy I get when he turns out to like a song that's one of my favorites." You said, hoping your mother would believe you and wouldn't ask anything further.

She looked away from you with a serious look in her face, taking another piece of meat from the big leaf laid on the floor and said:

"I know you feel something more for the Sully's son than just friendship."

You looked at her surprised and said:

"Y-you do?" With wide eyes and red cheeks

"Ma (y/n). I'm an old na'vi woman. I can tell when a young girl is in love. Don't forget I once was around your age and fell for your father." She smiled

She used to refer to her late mate as your father, even though you never met him but you heard many stories of how great a warrior he was. And you knew he was generous, funny and treated your mom very well when he was alive. So you held him dear in your heart, even if you didn't even know how he looked.

"Neteyam is very special to me." It's all you said, looking down shyly

➳

You woke up the following day with the weirdest feeling in your throat and soon you realized you had to throw up so you jumped off of your mat, ran out of your mother's house and stopped only when you got behind a tree that was close-by. You put your head down and threw up what seemed to be all you had eaten the night before.

You heard the sound of leaves breaking on the floor and you looked behind you only to see Neytiri looking at you, seeming to be really worried.

"(y/n), honey. Are you sick?"

You cleaned your mouth with the back of your hand and looked up at Neytiri.

"Hm... I think so. I might have eaten a fruit that was starting to rot at dinner yesterday or something."

"I'm still worried. Do you need help?" She said

"I think I'm alright. Thank you anyway, Neytiri. You're always so nice to me." You smiled, looking at her beautiful face. Neytiri was the most beautiful woman in the clan, in your opinion.

She smiled softly

"If you need anything, shout as loud as you can and I'll come running to your aid. Okay?" She touched your shoulder

"Okay." You answered and she went her way

Later that day, after you had lunch you felt sick again and tried to run away to throw up because you hated making a mess at the house but Ao'ite came just in time to see you struggling.

"My daughter. Are you gonna throw up?" She saw you covering your mouth with your hand while your face was pale

The yellow liquid falling to the floor was the answer to her question

"I'm sorry, mom. I'll clean it up." You said already going to fetch a cloth to wipe the floor with but Ao'ite interrupted you

"Nonsense, child. You're sick. Sit down and I'll bring some water to wash your face." There was still vomit in your mouth and chin "Only after you're clean, I'll take care of the mess on the floor."

"Okay, mom. I think I need to lie down a bit." You said and laid on the floor "I don't know what's wrong with me but I can't seem to keep anything I eat inside my body. I always puke it."

Your mother was coming near you carrying water in a big seashell and a cloth and looked at you with her big yellow eyes for a few seconds, a serious expression in her face.

She knelt to the floor, wet the cloth in the water inside the seashell that was in one of her hands and started to clean your face up. When you were clean, she looked at you, seemingly mad and said:

"(y/n), did you mate with Neteyam?"

You looked at her not being able to believe what she had just asked.

"I..." You almost denied but there was no use "I did, mother."

"I knew you guys weren't just listening to songs together." She said, shaking her head in disappointment "(y/n), I might be mistaken but I have helped a lot of human girls and women with their pregnancies. I don't know if this is possible, but, you are showing symptoms that might indicate you're with child." Your mouth fell open

"I saw Neytiri when I went to the forest earlier today to hunt food for our lunch. She told me she saw you throwing up. You know how much she cares about you. She was worried and asked me to keep an eye on you."

"I'm sorry I didn't tell you, mom... I thought it was just something bad that I had eaten. I... I didn't think it was possible."

"I'm not sure it is. But there's a real possibility you're carrying Neteyam's child. And that's a big deal, my daughter. He's going to be the next Olo'eyktan." What she said brought back to your mind all those thoughts about not being good enough to be Neteyam's mate

"After I clean the floor, I will go to the lab and call Dr Evelyn. She will be able to tell us if you're really pregnant. You stay here and go lay in your mat. You gotta rest." She said, standing back on her feet and leaving to fetch something to clean the floor

You did as you mother said and went to lie down at your mat. After she had left, you were still awake and uncomfortable for half an hour but then you feel asleep, feeling tired.

➳

Meanwhile, Neteyam had just stopped for a break from his Olo'eyktan training with Jake. They were resting, sitting on the floor and Jake was cleaning his arrow when Neteyam said:

"Dad?"

"Yes?" Jake looked at his eldest son

"I have something important to tell you." Jake was looking at the arrow in his hand but looked back at Neteyam after hearing those words

"I chose a mate."

Jake had a serious expression at his face

"It's (y/n)."

Jake smirked and said "Who could have seen it coming? The girl you're always drooling over is the one you want to be your mate."

"The thing is... She already is, if you know what I mean."

"What?!" Jake was angry "And you didn't think to tell the people first? You have a great responsibility to the clan as the Olo'eyktan to be." He looked at him like he was crazy

"I'm sorry, dad. It all just happened so fast. It was only yesterday." Neteyam tried to defend himself

"Yeah, of course it was. I suspected something was up when you two arrived late and side by side at dinner."

"What do I do now, dad? Can I tell the people tonight?"

"Boy, you think with your penis, not your brain." Jake said, pushing Neteyam by his arm. "And is there another option? You have to make an announcement as soon as possible. It's gonna be tonight. And you're still not finished with your training. You were supposed to court her for a while and only mate with her after you became Olo'eyktan. How am I gonna tell your mother about it?" Jake shook his head

"Sorry?" Neteyam said with an awkward smile

➳

You woke up with a human female voice calling you softly. It was Dr Evelyn Miller.

"Hi, (y/n)." The redhead was looking at you with a soothing expression in her face "How are you feeling? Your mother told me you threw up a bit."

"Hi, Dr Evelyn. I feel better now. Thank you."

"That's great. Ao'ite told me you were chosen by a nice na'vi boy to be his mate. Is that right?" She was smiling

"Yeah...." You smiled shyly

"And she told me you guys were in a rush and you two mated already." You felt your face burn "The thing is, something weird seems to be going on here. You are showing symptoms of pregnancy. I have to get a sample of your blood and run some tests to see if you really are pregnant. Is that okay?"

"Sure..." You said nervous

"It won't take long. I have all the equipment I need here on my backpack."

Dr Evelyn stung you with a needle in a syringe she took out of a metal box that was inside her backpack. You saw the crimson blood being collected inside the syringe and sighed deeply, your breath faltering.

Ao'ite looked at you worried.

Half an hour later, Dr Evelyn looked at you with a surprised face and finally spoke:

"You are carrying a na'vi baby in your womb. That's crazy." She laughed slightly in disbelief

Ao'ite's eyes got filled with tears and she smiled

"I thought you were mad, mom." You looked at her face

"I'm mad you were irresponsible. And I'm worried for your fragile human health. But I'm also happy I'm gonna have a grandchild. And this child will be na'vi. Eywa ngahu!" (May Eywa be with you)

You felt tears starting to wet your cheeks.

"Congratulations, (y/n). You're gonna be under my care from now on as something like this has never happened before and we don't know how your body is gonna react. I'll leave you guys alone now." She smiled, put her backpack on her shoulder and exited your home

"Mom, I need to tell Neteyam!" You said smiling

"Do you want me to go to the Sully's house and call him? He better have told his parents that you guys mated. I don't want anyone confused or mad when I get there. I already have a lot on my plate right now." She laughed a bit

♡

tagging:

@lik0

@behindthearcane

@destinylb

@thelxnelyworld (I'm tagging you because you asked for part 4 💙)

(If any of you guys don't wanna be tagged anymore just tell me don't wanna bother anyone lol)

#avatar 2009 #avatar fandom #avatar james cameron #na'vi x human #na'vi x reader #na'vi x human reader #neteyam x y/n #neteyam x human reader #neteyam x you #neteyam x reader #neteyam sully #avatar x human reader #avatar x reader #neteyam fluff #neteyam sully x reader #neteyam sully x y/n #tori writings #kxamtxomaw writes

[esther-dot]

"I had bad dreams," Shireen told him. "About the dragons. They were coming to eat me."-ACOK(Prologue).

"Teora gave a tiny nod, chin trembling. "They were dancing. In my dream. And everywhere the dragons danced the people died."- TWOW.

Both Shireen and Teora had bad dreams about dragons. Apparently Dany having dragon dreams means they are heroes.

Dreaming of dragons always seems to be a bad thing! We not only have the little girls' nightmares, we have all the Targs who dreamed of them because they wanted them:

"I see them in my dreams, Sam. I see a red star bleeding in the sky. I still remember red. I see their shadows on the snow, hear the crack of leathern wings, feel their hot breath. My brothers dreamed of dragons too, and the dreams killed them, every one. Sam, we tremble on the cusp of half-remembered prophecies, of wonders and terrors that no man now living could hope to comprehend . . . or . . ." (AFFC, Samwell III)

And in both versions of dragon dreams, it's negative/ominous. Knowing what will befall Shireen, your quotes hit even harder.

I was trying to guess as to why the fandom doesn't worry about the warnings in quotes like this, and I suppose, initially, when Dany had her dragon dreams, we're entirely sympathetic to the desire because of Viserys' abuse. That makes it easy to miss the transition from the idea that dragons would protect a little girl (Dany) to being an object of fear for little girls and eventually killing one (Hazzea). It lulls fans into viewing them as one thing before revealing them for what they truly are:

"Are you deaf, fool?" Reznak mo Reznak demanded of the man. "Did you not hear my pronouncement? See my factors on the morrow, and you shall be paid for your sheep." "Reznak," Ser Barristan said quietly, "hold your tongue and open your eyes. Those are no sheepbones." No, Dany thought, those are the bones of a child. (ADWD, Daenerys I)

And of course, that evolution of Dany from a little girl needing protection into the one with the dragon who kills little girls, from the mother of people to the mother of dragons, that tells us that her dragon dreams will lead to devastation for countless others:

Her name had been Hazzea. She was four years old. (ADWD, Daenerys II)

and

No queen has clean hands, Dany told herself. She thought of Doreah, of Quaro, of Eroeh … of a little girl she had never met, whose name had been Hazzea. Better a few should die in the pit than thousands at the gates. This is the price of peace, I pay it willingly. If I look back, I am lost. (ADWD, Daenerys, VIII)

and

"Drogon killed a little girl. Her name was … her name …" Dany could not recall the child's name. That made her so sad that she would have cried if all her tears had not been burned away. "I will never have a little girl. I was the Mother of Dragons." (ADWD, Daenerys X)

And I suspect, the idea is that the dragons (fire and blood) will lead to her own demise as well.

#dot chat #anti daenerys

[beanghostprincess]

YOOOO saw t4t sanami, do you have any specific thoughts on trans! nami?

OMG YESYESYES!!!!!! First of all, I adore t4t Sanami. It's the best type of Sanami. And I have so many thoughts about trans!Nami... My beloved.

She realizes she's a girl pretty soon in her life since her mom is her role model and she admires Nojiko a lot. But it's more of a gender envy thing most of the time, she just doesn't understand the concept yet-- The thing is, neither girls nor boys understood her passion for maps, and she barely had any friends apart from her sister, so it's a bit hard for her to actually understand what she wants. But she's sure she's a girl. That's something she has clear.

When she comes out to both Bellemere and Nojiko, they're obviously extremely supportive of her. Nojiko is thrilled to have a sister and Bellemere couldn't be happier that her girl trusts her enough to tell her this (you know, they're still young and Bellemere feels a bit insecure sometimes and wonders if they actually see her as their mom). In general, the village is very supportive. They love these kids, c'mon. Maybe there are some comments here and there from people who are more close-minded than others, but Nojiko always goes full protective sister mode.

They don't have money for new clothes, but Bellemere does her best to style Nojiko's old outfits for Nami!! She asks Nami if she wants to grow her hair, and Nami says it'd be a bit uncomfortable but she'll probably give it a try, if it bothers her then she'll probably cut it (she ends up doing it because it gets, indeed, uncomfortable).

Transitioning socially, even if most of the village is supportive, is a bit hard. Nami doesn't like being scared. Or feeling weak. But her mom always tells her to be herself no matter what other people say, because she's the only one who should choose how to live her life. She is a girl, and she has all the right to fight the ones who say otherwise. Nami wonders if fighting will make her look less feminine, but Bellemere says "Well, I fight, don't I? And you see me as a girl. Girls can and should fight. Even better than most men, honestly". And Nami is no longer scared of being more independent and strong.

I just know Genzo is the sweetest, most protective, and most supportive man ever. He even buys her some new clothes and kind of lets her get away sometimes if she gets into fights because he knows she was doing it to defend herself. He has a new picture of the girls on his desk and he's always keeping an eye on her because he knows she's gonna end up being gorgeous and he can't have guys flirting with her.

It's easy for Nami to look more feminine because of her complexion but she's still insecure over a bunch of stuff while she grows up. Everything is worse when she joins Arlong... Okay, so the Arlong Pirates aren't transphobic but Arlong is this type of "passive-aggressive" ally who won't stop asking Nami to thank him for letting her be herself. He's always highlighting the pronouns and sometimes he even buys her stuff that, okay, she likes it. But she doesn't want those clothes from him. It's a living nightmare. He also gives her the chance to medically transition which-- She wishes she could say no, really, but dysphoria is eating her inside most days and she doubts she'll ever have the money to do this on her own. Nojiko is the one who tells her to go for it even though the help doesn't come from the right people.

Anyway- She grows up. The story continues as it is. And when she meets the Strawhats and they defeat Arlong, it's extremely freeing and liberating for her. She finally feels like she can be herself with people who actually care about her. I think the only ones who know she's trans are Zoro (transmasc/transfem communication), Luffy, and Usopp, because she told them at some point. It's not like she hides it from Sanji but... But, you know... She doesn't know how Sanji will react.

It's not that surprising to find out Sanji is a girl too. What is surprising is the fact that she takes it so well. In terms of concept and support. I mean- She knows what being trans is, and accepts it. Apparently, it's just hard to accept it when it comes to herself. She confesses it one day while she's drunk, saying being a girl would be great because they're just... Amazing and perfect. She describes all the things she likes about them and most of it sounds like gender envy and dysphoria to Nami. Something that Sanji confuses a lot with liking them sexually (also true and something Nami understands because she's a lesbian and it's always hard to tell the difference between attraction and gender envy). But Nami just says "You can just... Be a girl, you know? If you wanted to" and it kind of changes Sanji's world forever.

(Quick mention of Alabasta and how Nami falls for Vivi right away, something that she wasn't expecting because being in love is dangerous for her. But they have chemistry and they deeply care for each other. So before they leave, they have this intimate night together in which Nami is extremely scared. She doesn't want to lose Vivi for something like this. She isn't even sure how Alabasta's culture works and if Vivi will be as accepting as she looks. So Nami, still scared and shaking and almost crying for the first time in a long while, comes out to Vivi. The princess is... So accepting and loving it's overwhelming. I know we talk a lot about how Nami probably flirts with every girl she meets and has more experience than Vivi, but I'd like to see this as Nami's first time. Or at least, Nami's first time feeling so loved while having sex. Also, please assume Namivivi is a thing in this post too. Sanamivivi <3).

Nami starts seeing Sanji in a different light, by the way. Not instantly romantic, but she understands now why she acts like that around women. Sort of. She sees her being uncomfortable in her own skin. Sees her twitching whenever somebody highlights the fact that she's ""a man"". Nami even calls her "pretty" once, instead of the usual adjectives, and Sanji tries to act like she doesn't like it but she does, so much it's obvious it hurts her to realize. The egg is cracking and it's not slow, nor subtle, but Nami can't see it because they get separated in Sabaody.

To summarize, Nami gets an amazing boob job there. That's my wonderful explanation for the enormous change in her body after two years. The doctors up there are really good, okay? She lets her hair grow the way her mom mentioned once, and now that she knows how to fight, she can handle it a lot better! Meanwhile, Sanji is having a whole gender crisis back in Momoiro Island but she ends up figuring out that she's a girl and Ivankov is always our salvation for these things.

They find each other again, and Nami couldn't be more proud of Sanji. I mean- All of them are proud of her. They love her. They love her even more now that she has accepted herself. But for Nami, having somebody in the crew who went through the same things as her and who now feels comfortable with her body makes her incredibly happy. So long story short, Sanji moves to the Girls' quarters. Also, they find out Robin is also trans, something she hadn't mentioned because obviously there's no need to do it, but the girl is a fucking mystery and she hadn't mentioned it until NOW??? And Nami is about to start crying because she finally doesn't feel so alone.

You know, things go by smoothly. Nami likes wearing tops and bikinis to show off her body because she's really proud of it and Sanji keeps wearing her suits but sometimes they also share clothes. Although Sanji has a liking for Robin's outfits better. They grow closer and share experiences and even though Nami opens up about her past, Sanji doesn't. And it's not like she has to do it... But Nami wishes she trusted her more. Anyway- Showering Nami with love wasn't something Sanji only did before, she still does it. And Nami is starting to fall a little bit for her? She hates to admit it, but Sanji is gorgeous. Gorgeous and really, really sweet and not that annoying anymore, now that she has found herself. Nami thinks it could be just sexual, but she knows it isn't only that-- She's scared of falling in love because falling for somebody means being able to lose them. And she would hate it. But she lets herself do it for once.

And then Whole Cake Island happens, and Nami kind of wants to die. It's when she realizes she's in love with Sanji (yay! Losing more people she loves!) and she's extremely angry at her for doing what she's doing. Pushing them away. But Nami can't really be that furious, right? She did the same thing to them, after all... It's so, so painful to see Sanji act like somebody she isn't. Her family made her cut her hair. Wear a binder and everything. Nami isn't sure whether she's crying for the fight or Sanji right now. When Sanji comes back to them, Nami wants to hug her and never let her go,, They start dating pretty much right after WCI, so Wano is painful because they aren't together and Nami realizes, right after the big fight, that Sanji is going through something she doesn't want to talk about. Not that she has to do it, because Nami will be there no matter what.

Little transfem!Nami / T4T Sanami quick headcanons:

As I said, they share clothes but Sanji prefers wearing Robin's style. However, Nami does steal Sanji's shirts all. The. Time. Not that the cook cares, though, she looks gorgeous.

Sanji is a bit self-conscious because Nami has bigger boobs. Not that it matters at all and Nami finds it incredibly stupid, but anyway- Nami is always worshipping Sanji's body when it's needed. Sometimes she thinks Sanji just says it to fish compliments from her.

Nami loves Sanji's short hair and is constantly reminding her that she looks beautiful this way, even if she prefers it long.

Nami actually is pretty insecure about her hands. They don't look as feminine and she would like them too. And she knows it's stupid but,, It still bothers her. Sanji is always kissing them and painting her nails, though!

I like Nami being extremely deranged sometimes and maybe a guy tells her that's not very lady-like and Nami always thinking about Bellemere and how she'd kick ass anyway.

#sorry for replaying so late wkefbwej i'm a mess responding to asks #they're all trans in this crew i swear #they're looking for the woke piece or smth #i love them so much #t4t sanami is like-- the best type of sanami #and the only sanami i ship ngl #one piece #black leg sanji #cat burglar nami #nami #transfem sanji #transfem nami #sanami #fem sanami

[shortpplfedup]

Only Friends Character Rankings Episode 11

The end is nigh! Everybody takes a giant leap of faith in the mother of all transition eps, and we end on several cliffhangers of how those leaps will land Will Ray finally get his threesome? Will Nick agree to be Boston's boyfriend? Will Mew move in with Top? What is the actual factual deal with Boeing? WILL CHEUM GIVE BOSTON THE APOLOGY HE DESERVES? Last week y'all were split on who you were rooting for, with Boston and Boeing tied for your hearts. Here's the runners and riders this week.

🔺1. Nick (2)

I'm not sure I'm ready to be anyone's boyfriend.

So many boys to choose from, that's my baby. I chose Nick as my fighter from jump and that was so the right decision. Baby boy is beating them off with a stick, and committing to nothing and nobody in the process. He might be in love with Boston, but he's actually thinking about what 'in love' means to him, after the mess his 'love' caused. He likes Dan, but won't lead him on. Helping Boston with Atom let him see a version of his own feelings and actions that have made him a bit contemplative it feels like, and I'm curious to see what decisions he actually makes in the finale.

🔺2. Boston (3)

But you might be my exception.

Speaking of contemplation, Boston is definitely calibrating and rethinking some of his basic assumptions about life and people. Atom is an avatar of how and why Boston probably landed on his 'I HATE DRAMA' train, while Nick is an avatar of 'oh, I might have conflated people's feelings with 'drama' when they aren't quite the same thing'. He wants to maybe try monogamy, and you know what, that's his right, and he feels safe to try it with Nick. I have a lot of thoughts about how much Boston must trust Nick to take that leap, even on a short-term/trial basis, and I love the nuance in how this has been written.

🔺3. Yo (and Plug) (10)

I should protect my heart first, shouldn't I?

MOM AND COOL STEPDAD ARE BACK TOGETHER! This has been a very tight runner, but I love it. I love that Plug was able to take a deep breath and swallow his hurt over Yo wanting to protect herself. I love that Yo was able to step outside of herself and take a leap of faith that Plug does love her. Using Yo and Plug as a thematic reinforcer has been effective for me, and I hope we get to see them one last time in the finale.

🔺4. Top (8)

I'm gonna make you love me even more.

Force has been doing a thankless job incredibly well playing Top. When I tell y'all I know Tops, big dick swinging Big Men On Campus, Roc Nation Brunch types, successful on the outside but a total mess within, looking for a saviour, convinced that this One Thing or One Person, if they could just get them, it would mean that they're winners and not the losers they have nightmares about being...and Force is playing that so well. The other thing about these types is that the hole inside they're trying to fill is always an empty space, no matter who or what they try to stuff in there. There will always be a next thing that could save them. I've legit never seen this type portrayed this well on screen, and I look forward to seeing where he lands because he could literally go either way.

🔹5. Sand (5)

Well, someone who's completely my type dumped me for someone else.

YES SAND SPEND THAT MAN'S MONEY THAT'S WHAT I'VE BEEN TRYING TO TELL YOU ALL ALONG! If he's going to call you a whore whenever he gets mad at you, and you're gonna accept that and forgive him every time, at least reap some goddamn benefits. On the other side of things, we see that Sand's simpness is not confined to Ray; this is just what he's like when he falls for somebody. Boeing reappearing makes that clear. That man cheated and dumped him and he still can't send him packing when he turns up again. 'We can be friends' NO YOU FUCKING CAN'T GUY, THAT MUCH IS OBVIOUS.

🔹6. Mew (6)

You asked for a chance and I gave it to you.

As I said earlier this week, there's nothing wrong with Mew that couldn't be solved by giving him a pair of stilettos and a flogger, and I stand by that. Mew is struggling so hard with the feeling that he has somehow lost, and it's making him lowkey crazy. Top abasing himself and Mew getting to punish him would go a long way to making these two work, if that's what they want. Sometimes kink is 100% the answer to a complicated relationship, and these two are COMPLICATED. So much ego and image is wrapped up in these two's expectations of each other, they are never actually vulnerable, even when performing vulnerability. But one thing kink absolutely requires is vulnerability. I'm voting for Mew to realise his dom desires before the end.

🔹7. Ray (7)

If you say so, then I won't be jealous.

Ray makes a valiant attempt at proper boyfriendism this ep, and it's actually pretty effective...right up until he's faced with the prospect that Sand's squishy centre is more about who Sand is than it is about Ray being extra special somehow. Sand's mom told him: this is how he is with people he cares about. So when somebody Sand clearly cares/cared about, Boeing, shows up, Ray gets a front row seat and he doesn't like the view. How he handles what happens next is gonna tell us whether or not Ray has learned a goddamn thing.

🔻8. Boeing (1)

I just want to be with someone tonight.

There's a definite pattern to the rankings at this point, in that a character hitting the #1 is doomed to take a nosedive in the next ep, and Boeing is no exception. His game remains unclear at this point, but he does give the sense of having had plan A fail and moving on to plan B, taking a not-unrealistic leap of faith that Sand will allow him back into his life. This show has been pretty good about writing real people not cartoon villains, so I'm pretty sure Boeing's got his own human story animating his actions, and I'm curious to find out what it is.

🔺9. Atom (10)

He didn't do anything to me.

Well he apologised and told the truth in the end, even if he had to be threatened to do it, that counts for something...

🔻10. Cheum (9)

What did he do to you this time?

...but if she doesn't apologise for the fucked up things she said to Boston I'm gonna lose it I swear.

#only friends the series #bless this mess #only friends weekly character rankings #i support gay wrongs #only friends #only friends series #bl meta series

[fangbangerghoul]

Fleeting Pleasures

Chapter 9: bad decisions WC: 5713 The aftermath of chapter 8 and how Ghoul and Sam are moving forward with themselves.

Special shout out to @bearlytolerant for being supportive of my woes and my writing(i cry so much to her idk how she still loves me), @spookyspecterino for the A+++ Delgado advice and being so real about the direction of the chapter (seriously I wish I could hire you), @booburry for hyping me up and always sharing your lovely ideas/advice(and giving me Gale meals this past week), and @atonalginger for being an early beta reader!

I know I literally just told y'all I was on hiatus, but I woke up this morning and the large wall that was preventing me from finishing this chapter came crashing down and an array of bricks and ideas filled my skull until my eyes shot lasers.

Fleeting Pleasures was originally only going to be 10 chapters with a bonus chapter at the end but guess what?! The story had other things to say about that. Now Fleeting Pleasures is going to be 11 chapters and a bonus chapter. As long as I keep the momentum this story might be wrapped up before Valentine's Day, which will just be perfect. (no that is not sarcasm...maybe)

I want to thank all of those who have stuck it out throughout the series. It warms my heart when I see so much of this Delgado and Ghoul in other fics and it's amazing how silly little fics can inspire others. Especially since this is my first long running story. I can't believe this started way back in October and Ghoul as a whole character way back in September!

I hope you all enjoy. I think I can literally say I put my blood, sweat, and tears into this. Under the cut will be a snippet but the rest will be on Ao3 which the link is within the title of the post.

“Good morning, Sam! Have you been sleeping better since Noel gave you that herbal tea to try?” He asked so casually about a subject Sam had never remembered mentioning to him. Normally he would have shrugged it off but this time it irked him in particular. The members of Constellation were more prone to talk to him in soft voices or speak about his business more openly when he wasn’t around. It made his skin crawl.  

“No.” Sam said plainly, staring Barret down for a moment before relaxing his shoulders. He was trying to get comfortable around those he considered family again. However the transition from consistently raiding and interrogating Crimson Fleet members to having normal mundane conversation was an adjustment. “Good morning though.” 

Sam walked past him, careful not to bump into Barrett as he walked by. He didn’t like it when someone brushed against his left side even after the wound had fully healed. Sam also didn’t like to think about that fact so he just kept on moving. He was ready to eat. 

On his way to the eating area he stopped by his room one more time to grab a mahogany robe to wrap around his loose white tee and baggy gray sweatpants. The elastic sometimes didn’t stay around his hips and would occasionally sag so in order to protect everyone around him from seeing the moon so early in the day he liked to wear his robe. His slippers dragged a bit as he walked like he was taking a sunday stroll through a park. Sam was never in a hurry to get anywhere, to do anything really. 

“Dad!” He heard the young squeak of his daughter from around the corner and Cora ran up to him and hugged him tight. He winced instinctively but tried to catch himself so she wouldn’t think she hurt him. Her curls were bouncing and wild and the smile on her face was brighter than any star he had seen in a long while. Seeing Cora always gave him a little bit of his life back especially after being separated from her for as long as they were. 

“Hey sweet pea.” He rubbed her back gently in the embrace and kept his arm around her as he led them forward. “What are you doing up so early?”

“Dad it’s noon.” 

“Oh, what are you doing up so late then?” He smiled at her teasingly.  

“Daaaad.” She said in protest as she pushed herself away from him gently. “Were you going to come to the meeting later today?”

“Meeting?” He was puzzled at her question. Sam didn’t know of any meeting, not one that needed to involve him. 

“Ms. Morgan was talking to Walter earlier and I heard them say when Andreja and Vlad arrive they were going to have a discussion.” Cora said with a bit of concern in her tone. Sam knew if she had heard that much then she was all too aware that the meeting was about Ghoul. 

“Is that so?” He asked with a cool tone trying not to give away any concern he may have felt. He still didn’t have the heart to tell Cora that Ghoul did this to him. Even though the other’s had continued their recent pattern of talking about his well being behind his back he figured how much further would that subject be? 

“Yeah! Dad, what are you eating for late breakfast?”

“Cheese pizza if you are asking.”

#starfield #sam coe #starfield fanfiction #coemancer #the coemancer crew #fang writes #ghoul vibes only #starfield oc #fanfiction #ao3 writer #ao3 fanfic

[ichiruki]

Don't know if you got same question as this ... But I want to ask can you explain why relationship between Rukia and Ichigo is romantic not friendly and show moments which actually shows how they have romantic feelings for eachother?

** you can ignore it if you want ... But I'm new here and in the fandom too so I had questions 😶 **

That’s the beauty of Ichigo and Rukia’s relationship! They love each other in many ways and since very early on. I think the Fullbring arc really cemented that they also love each other romantically because after having time apart we see just how much (and how fondly) they think of the other... and how nobody else comes close.

Chapter 424 is Ichigo telling us what’s been going on since the battle with Aizen and every panel is full with the calm life he’s living except when talking about not having powers. To me it suggests he has a lot of feelings about that fact and, given the size, he tries not to think about it too much.

But when we get to the panel about Rukia there’s so much empty space it takes up half the page. It’s presenting itself as the heaviest thing on his mind after the battle; not being able to see her. 

Also, (this is just a theory) seeing this in color makes it look like the panels are connected up to this point... like if he thinks too long about what happened he’ll eventually think about her. “Now I don’t have any soul reaper powers” changes the subject to Karin. “It’s been 17 months since the battle” changes the subject to school. “Ever since then Rukia hasn’t come to KK once” the scene ends and transitions to one about missing her. It’s like Rukia is always in the back of his mind and after all this time it’s easier to avoid it.

Of course he misses her, but having an excuse for her ready proves how much she’s been on his mind, and outright denying it is so like him. I wouldn’t say this specifically is rooted in “romance” but with other moments we can see just how much he wants to see her again and it really goes beyond what he feels for anyone else.

Take for example when he only mentioned that Rukia hadn’t come to visit him despite having other friends from the SS, especially Renji. In the next chapter he dreamed of them and Byakuya but it’s Rukia that stands out.

She’s singled out from the guys and her panel is bigger, but what really separates her from them is the fact that it’s cropped sooo close to her face. There isn’t even a sliver of her shoulders, Ichigo is really concentrating here. Renji and Byakuya’s presence is enough but not when it comes to Rukia, he seems desperate to see her again.

Being a protector is literally in Ichigo’s name so losing the power to do so was hard on him, anyone could see that. Orihime was glad at first but ultimately had to ask Rukia to figure out a way to get his power back and Chad could barely look at him since he lost it. Chad goes on a little bit more about how wanting to fight/protect those around him makes Ichigo who he is, and while that’s definitely correct what comes next suggests that there’s something more important. 

Love is subjective. Riruka drew her ability out through her love/adoration of cute material things and the happiness it brings her. Orihime persevered because of the love she feels for her best friend Tatsuki who always protected her. Chad manifested his ability because of the pride his family (his grandfather, who he loves) instilled in him. Fullbring can be activated with love that is familial, platonic, or even with a hobby/inanimate things.

Saving his sisters from the same monster that killed his mother wasn’t enough to activate his fullbring. Helping Orihime, Chad, and Uryu, his friends, also wasn’t enough. Being strong enough to hold back the equivalent of 100 thousand blades in the form of a ginormous, fiery bird wasn’t enough either. Apparently it doesn’t even slightly trigger it.

Remember when I said Ichigo was avoiding Rukia? She was present in each event he thinks about. Of course she isn’t the most important person in each scenario, but even in the moment he saves her life he doesn’t picture her face like the rest of them. Him doing that cements the fact that he’s trying to hold back thinking about her... until he can’t anymore.

The power comes all at once when he finally thinks of her. Just her. 

At the end of the SS arc we figure out that what Ichigo wanted most when he saved Rukia was to see her smile again, and because of the power he gained for her sake he was able to do that; because of power he was able to save so many other people, too. The thing is, he remembers her in the moment he lost his powers; not one of the times he saves her or she saves him or the result of any of that. He began training for fullbring to protect the people important to him but it isn’t being activated by those bonds and instead by the pure desire to see her smiling again. 

Putting everything together tells us that he loves her romantically; if his fullbring isn’t being activated by his platonic or familial bonds or the pride in having the power to protect them there is only one type of love that separates her from the rest. 

We can keep going... with a liiiittle bit on Rukia, too.

Seeing her for the first time in 17+ months literally stopped the rain and put light back in his eyes after he lost his power AGAIN with the people he’s closest to  turned against him. He was bawling his eyes out, more powerless than he’s ever been, and unsettled about his dad and Urahara’s sudden appearance, but she immediately put him at ease without any effort at all.

He believes in her right away just like she does in him. Like she always does.

When Rukia gets the chance to fully think about how special and strong Ichigo is, both in strength and heart, we see her in complete awe. 

If she was simply proud and or amazed by him she could have replicated the smile she had at sokyoku hill when she felt his power “flowing into her.” The expressions on her face here (off the top of my head) are completely new and softer than ever. It looks like her own heart skipped a beat —

— It skipped just like time does when they’re seperated. 

The arc opened with Ichigo wondering if he can keep up with the speed of the world without her and just about ended with this poem, “When the two that share destiny part and reunite, beyond the frame of time, the ceased clock will awake and start to tick once again.” Ichigo and Rukia are incomplete when they’re apart and are at their happiest when together. 

When remembering her happiest moments during her fight with As Nodt, Rukia thought of Ichigo the most. When fighting Yhwach and remembering his most despairing moments, the night Ichigo lost Rukia to Renji and Byakuya comes second after losing his mom. The emphasis on their bond is consistent throughout the story and even until the last chapter.

If Ichigo and Rukia’s relationship was supposed to be strictly platonic the amount of content we were given would have to be cut in half. Cut down on the anime fillers/openings/endings, the movies, the musicals, the color spreads...  the poems about the other person, the speeches about how one feels about the other, the emphasis on their shared trauma and the fact that they saved and helped each other overcome their misery, the overwhelming feeling of wanting to see the other person happy, Ichigo’s parents replicating his and Rukia’s first meeting, “The Love and Destiny Ichigo Inherited,” the partings, the reunions... Y’know, put all the ships on an even playing field, but that’s not what happened. 

Ichigo and Rukia have the kind of relationship that was said to be “more than friends” since the second arc. 200 chapters later when they spend over a year without seeing or even speaking to each other we can see how they spent that time thinking of the other and more than anyone else. Time goes on but their bond will never break, and they don’t deserve anything less. 

#bleach #ichiruki #meta

[damagedintellect]

Nakahara Chuuya x Reader

💌 Would this be considered a social suicide? : Chapter 4 💌  

Summary: You knew it was dangerous to take walks at night but hearing the water rushing under the bridge was calming to your nerves. You didn’t imagine you’d ever fall into the river and somehow wake up in your favorite anime. The isekai that I’m sure will come back to haunt me. It’s kept me up all night but I might as well get the brainrot out.

Notes: Reader is Isekai’d into BSD, Slow to start, Chuuya is endgame but there’s a fair bit of reader & Dazai moments too, this is where the brainrot started for me this chapter is my guilty pleasure, I’m fucked 

💌 Word count: 2,753 💌  Available Chapters [1] [2] [3] [4] [5] [6] [7]

Being a non combatant was kind of nice. You mostly spent your time doing office work and or following Ranpo around like a lost puppy. Atsushi was the only one concerned over Dazai’s disappearance but it wasn’t for long, not when Kyouka joined the picture. Again you stayed out of it only dropping your two cents when absolutely necessary although that meant you missed out on the crepes. You’d have to go out on your own time to get some or if anything you could always get Ranpo or Dazai to go with you. Ranpo because he’d love to have the sweets and Dazai because then you both could skip work. Work wasn’t all that bad once you got the hang of it. Knowing things from a third person view definitely made the transition much smoother.

You were already cleaning up around the office when everyone got back to get treatment and to bring Kouyou in for interrogation. It wouldn’t be until Kunikida received the call from the president that you'd be relevant again. As you had that thought the phone rang and despite not being able to hear the other side of the conversation you remembered the gist of what was said.

“All operatives are to leave company offices and gather at the former facility”

Kunikida stopped what he was working on and looked over to who was currently around.“Do you mean your previous headquarters before you founded the agency”

“Only a select few know of that location so we should be safe. We risk being overwhelmed by superior numbers otherwise. Hold on I have visitors”

“Sir, what’s going on? Sir?” His voice wasn’t that concerned at all but you could visibly see the panic as Atsushi entered the room. “What’s wrong?” Atsushi questioned putting the boxes down.

“Something happened with the president. Ambushed maybe.” Kunikida was still very nonchalant in his demeanor. “We should go and help then-”

“I’m sure he’s fine. More importantly-”

“How can you be so calm at a time like this!”

Kunikida sighed “Try and grab hold of my hand, you’ll see why” Atsushi looked at his hand, reaching out but he was already on the floor “That was the first technique he passed down to me. I’ve never won a single match against him. He’s not going to lose against a handful of mediocre hitmen”

Kunikida then made arrangements for everyone to meet at the former facility. You were all waiting around before the president made his entrance “Listen up, the port mafia seeks to eradicate the agency. The guild seeks to usurp the agency. We must do all we can to protect ourselves from both of these foes. Dazai please continue” You were getting excited counting down the minutes for a certain slug to make an appearance. 

“You got it~” Dazai winked at you before addressing the rest of the room. He probably noticed your giddiness. “The guild has substantial financial assets and the port mafia has the benefit of numbers, so we’ll split into defensive and offensive teams and engage them in gorilla warfare. The primary goal for the defensive team is to make sure doctor Yosano is protected. As long as we don’t die outright, her healing ability can cure our injuries.”  Dazai took a pause pointing out the defensive team that consisted of you, Fukuzawa, Ranpo, Yosano, and Kenji. “The offensive team will split into two sections and will surprise the enemy using Junichiro’s mirage ability and my nullification ability. The crux of our strategy is to keep our base of operations hidden. If our enemies hit us here with everything they’ve got our defenses will never hold” he punctuated his speech with a smile. Fukuzawa made the last declaration before everyone dispersed. “Of the three organizations only one of us can survive. Our only option left is to fight. A three way war, a war of the gifted!”

Then you were left to your own devices. You spent the first part of your day taking a small nap but you were beaming with excitement. As Ranpo finished more and more of his snacks you tried to curve your enthusiasm before anyone called you out on it. You wouldn't have a good explanation of why you were chipper. 

“Man, I’m so bored! I wanna go outside.” Ranpo whined in the president’s direction. Fukuzawa was reading while he put black and white pieces on a board. You think he’s playing “Go” but you thought it was a two player game. “Any suspicious activity?”

Yosano sighed “A bunch of nothing followed by more nothing” It’s been like this for hours now.

“Luckily the only way to enter this hall is through that underground railroad tunnel. Even if an enemy does try to invade our location our security cameras will warn us well in advance.”

“We set up a fair amount of traps on the way as well.” Yosano added just before Ranpo shouted “War is so boring! I’m already out of snacks after just half a day. I know hey Akiko let’s play hanafuda online!”

She had stars in her eyes at the offer. “Okay how much do you wanna bet?

Ranpo went quiet, opening his eyes causing you to perk up from your relaxed position. Chuuya must have finally shown up on some of the cameras. You leaned over his shoulder "Let me guess they sent the short redhead with the tacky hat?" 

The events in your memory were a little fuzzy. You remember watching Chuuya so closely you forgot to pay attention to what he was saying half the time. You stood up abruptly when it finally clicked why Chuuya was actually here. You move to push Ranpo over slightly to press on the comms so that Chuuya would be able to hear your declaration. "Wait, if they sent Chuuya we need to send Junichiro, Naomi’s way now! The port mafia already threw us under the bus!" You could hear Chuuya's chuckling ring out of the speaker. "That must be the rookie Akutagawa and Higuchi were blabbering about. I was hoping I'd run into you." Chuuya held up a picture of Lovecraft and Steinbeck then flipped it over with a time and location. "Think of it this way, the guild thinks they have the upper hand, they don't know it's a trap. Technically this works out in your favor." Ranpo put on his glasses exchanging looks with Fukuzawa as you studied Chuuya on the cameras. Cocky bastard. Ranpo pushed up his glasses and nodded at the president confirming the information. That it was the truth and your comrades were in danger.

 Chuuya looked up directly at the camera to beckon you. "I was hoping to make a bigger scene but my business here is done, if you wanna come out to play I’m all yours." Gritting your teeth you try to calm down your heart rate. You planned for this but you didn’t think it would actually happen. Sure you had a feeling that in the event Higuchi and Akutagawa mentioned your ability it would interest Chuuya but there was no guarantee that it would happen. Also in this high risk high reward situation you didn’t know what to expect. Chuuya was your favorite character and this would be your only chance to make an impression. You may have already since he knew of you. You might as well take advantage of the opportunity in front of you but the voice in the back of your head is screaming that he is very capable of doing serious harm to you physically. You'd doubt he would right now because it seemed too out of character when unprovoked but he was still the enemy. You shouldn't let your guard down. The only thing going for you is that he currently wants something from you and he thinks you actually know the answer. You don’t. You’ve spent long hours on the internet rereading the light novels, manga and sifting through author’s notes and to no avail it’s never been confirmed. Although everyone and their mothers know for a fact that Chuuya is human, no one can say for certain but, and this is a big but, Chuuya doesn’t know that either. As long as you say anything with confidence people will believe you, even if you are wrong.

As everyone contacted the other teams, Chuuya tapped his foot impatiently. "I'm waiting. I could always use force if you want to do this the hard way ya know." He held up his hand, cutting the transmission to another camera. Trying to threaten you to come out.

You sigh trying not to come off as too eager. "I already know what he wants. It's personal, not mafia related. Do you guy's mind?" You look back to the president and Ranpo for approval. Fukuzawa nodded "Kenji and Yosano are on standby if anything happens."

You swallowed trying to regain some level of confidence. "Play nice and I'll give you ten minutes."

"How generous. Doubt I'll need that long~"

As you made your way down you couldn't help the way your heart was racing. When you approached he took his hands out of his pocket to tip his hat at you. "You're not exactly what I was expecting."

"Couldn’t agree more, the camera doesn't do you justice." You don't know why you said that but you act like it was intentional. With the dim lighting it should help aid masking your embarrassment. Chuuya laughed "Not so bad yourself. You know why I want to talk with you?"

"That depends on if you care if people listen to us or not." You tilted your head back the way you came slightly. 

"Balls in your court if you want to willingly follow me into the dark." He gestured behind him into the abyss. You turned to face one of the cameras "Chuuya won't try anything since I'm the only one who can answer his question so I should be fine. I'm going ahead." It wasn’t really up for negotiation. They would have to take your word. You hoped you were right. Walking up to Chuuya you could see his smirk plastered on his face. He was about an inch taller than you. You bit your lip to prevent calling him cute.

"What, not scared of me?" He questioned as he walked behind you, almost breathing down your neck. You giggled "No, in fact, I trust you more than you'll ever know." Once you were far enough you turned around meeting him eye to eye. He was shocked at your words. "That's some ability you got then.  Can't say most people do." He took another step closer. 

"Well it's a two way street since you're putting your faith in me." You challenge him, causing him to smirk.

He narrowed his eyes on you. "Tell me what you know."

"You're not gonna like it but when I look in your eyes there's a whole lot of Dazai in there."

He frowned, grumbling something under his breath but he lets you continue "I'm only half joking but the knowledge I can grasp from just looking at you ranges from your time with the sheep through when Dazai defected. And I know, real cop out not naming specifics so I'll tell you something even Dazai wouldn't have known." Chuuya rolled his eyes, crossing his arms.

"You lied to Albatross about saving Doc and I imagine the question you want me to answer is if you're really human or not."

Chuuya sighed, taking in a deep breath "If you can only sift through memories you don't know the answer then." You could hear the squeak of his gloves as he clenched his fist in disappointment.

"I said that's what I can grasp by looking at you, my ability is a real finicky thing. If you recall, I was able to pick up something about Akutagawa from being around Higuchi. If we had a more intimate relationship physically or emotionally eventually I could know the answer. Higuchi’s obsessed with Akutagawa so in turn the information I managed to pick up on was of more importance and, not, a memory at all." Hopefully your bluff sounded okay. You thought it was clever but only to an extent. It definitely wouldn't fool Dazai but Chuuya likes to give people the benefit of the doubt.

"I guess that makes sense. So what are you saying, if I want to know I should kiss you or something?" He raised an eyebrow but didn’t seem opposed to it. Would he actually do it? Of course that was the end goal of your charade but you didn't think it would actually harbor results.

"That's one way but the thing I need to stress is that I don't choose what knowledge gets pinged. If we had a connection similar to the one you share with Dazai I probably could, but we only just met and I doubt you're that desperate." You don't know why you're trying to backpedal now. Maybe you were a little scared but for drastically different reasons. What if you fucked up the kiss and made a fool of yourself? 

Chuuya took another step into your personal space "And what if I am?" He cupped your face and hovered above your lips. You froze staring back at him, eyes transitioning from being wide in shock to half lidded biting your lip. He chuckled "I'm not hearing a no." He sounded smug and you hate how much the sentence made your cheeks heat up. You were so close. One kiss would make all this isekai bullshit worth it even if you died a painful death immediately afterwards.

Instead, however, you called his bluff. For some reason you were still stalling the inevitable. "I don't think you are because otherwise you would have told Dazai to think of something else to defeat Verlaine. Yet you left without a second thought."

Chuuya tensed "That was different. I wasn't about to let that bastard have free reign of my insides. Kissing you has less consequences." He was staring at you so sure of this action. He pressed forward and you instinctively stepped backwards but your back hit the side of the tunnel. "Still, you're not trying to stop me~"

You leaned forward hesitantly letting your eyes slip shut. His lips were soft and you could feel him smirking as he moved his other hand to your waist. Oh, that seemed to change something in you as you sighed softly into his mouth. It was like fireworks were going off, a sensation that traveled across your body pooling in your stomach. Chuuya gripped your hair changing the angle to deepen the kiss as you pulled him closer. You melted against the wall when he sucked your bottom lip giving it a playful bite.

You both stopped when you heard Ranpo announce “If (Y/N)'s not back in thirty seconds we’re sending Kenji.”

He pulled away abruptly putting a few feet of distance between you coughing into his fist while hiding his face “So?” He cursed under his breath for the way his voice cracked on the word.

You pushed yourself off the wall touching your lips “I saw Rimbaud and Verlaine’s argument when they broke you out. Close but no cigar”

Chuuya sighed, turning around to walk out “Closer than I’ve been in years. I’ll be in touch.” he didn’t look back while he waved you off. You started walking but halted. You had one more thing to say. “Will you even be happy when you get the answer?”

“Who knows.” He sounded sort of melancholic but he kept walking. You should have given him a hug. Heaven knows he deserves one. You made your way back to the camera “He’s gone, I’m fine but can everyone promise me they won't tell Dazai I talked to him personally?”

As you made it back up Ranpo peered at you he still had his glasses on. That wasn't good for you. He smirked "Ah so that's why you were drawing Mr. Fancy Hat on the train."

"Yeah yeah, I'll get you any snack you want for your silence."

"Works for me!" Ranpo finally discarded the glasses and Fukuzawa shrugged. If Ranpo didn't say it was serious then it wasn’t his concern. No one else cared if you wanted it to be a secret. Kenji was confused but didn’t ask you to explain it. You were in a dreamy daze for the rest of your time underground.

<= Previous Chapter | Next Chapter =>

#the BSD isekai au no one asked for #chuuya nakahara x reader #nakahara chuuya x reader #bsd x reader #bsd imagines #xreader #x reader

[andreal831]

I am curious about what would have happened if Elijah had a kid pre transition. He was certainly old enough to. If his lineage was still continuing, what would that change?

My first instinct is to say Elijah having a child would have changed everything. Boy or girl, Elijah would have put that child above everything, including his siblings. Elijah would have tried to keep his family together just like he did in canon, however, he would have the added struggle of wanting to create a steady, safe life for his child.

However, then when I think about it, he kind of did. The fandom often forgets that Tatia had a child before she died and no one really knows what happened to this child. We know they grew up and had a child to continue on her line, but don't know where they ended up after their mother's death. In my head, Elijah would have been involved in this child's life already. Elijah isn't one to court a woman or even fall in love with a woman and neglect her child. This is completely head-canon, but I think it fits with what we know of his character. Elijah was about 24 years old so he would have been thinking about kids and marriage for a while when he met Tatia. Yet, after her death, he did not take the child in. And at this point, he doesn't even know he was involved in Tatia's death.

I am probably thinking more about this than the writers did, but it made me wonder if Elijah would send his own child away when his family turned. Elijah often felt unworthy and worried he was a monster, so he may have felt the child would be better off growing up in the village with someone else, rather than being around him and his siblings, who at this point he is struggling to control. He would also want to keep the child away from Mikael and since Mikael was chasing them, I could see him sending the child away to protect them.

If he had kept the child with him even post-transition, as I said, he would have wanted to create a more stable place for his family. I think it would have been similar to TO season 2, where instead of running, they stay and fight for their home. We would have seen the Mikaelsons find a home much sooner. Instead of running when Mikael found them the first time, they would have fought. Especially when he had the Strix (although he likely wouldn't have created them because he wouldn't have had such a gaping hole in his life he was trying to fill).

I don't see Elijah taking the child and running without his siblings, even if Mikael was only chasing Klaus. Elijah would put his child first, but he wouldn't abandon his siblings. The child would remind him how important family is and what it was like to take care of his siblings when they were young. It would only serve to reinforce his need to protect them.

I also think it would be an interesting conversation as the child gets older. Elijah wouldn't want them to become a vampire, but also wouldn't want to lose them. Losing a child would completely destroy him.

And this is all assuming the mother is Tatia and is not alive. If the mother was alive, he likely would send them off to be safe and would spend the rest of his life regretting it. He always sacrificed his own desires for what he felt was best for others. He would sacrifice everything for his child.

#elijah mikealson #elijah mikaelson as a father #tvdu #the originals #tvd #the vampire diaries #the mikaelsons #meta #human mikaelson

[randomfoggytiger]

I Am, Once Again, Advertising touchstoneaf's S9 "Amor Fati" Fic Series

touchstoneaf’s epic Amor Fati (Fated Love)

(Previous post: X-Files Fic That Irons Out the Mytharc… by touchstoneaf)

It's... it's brilliant.

Description

Not one detail from the series is neglected; not one observation is out of joint; not one conjecture or plot thread from the mytharc is left unresolved (and is, in fact, further built upon), and not one moment between all of the characters is off target. Not only that, but it glues together plotholes as effortlessly as if those were the original show writers' intent; and builds and builds and builds the transition from surveillance at home to life on the run with a (psychic) baby.

I confidently say it IS the series: not just the characters' voices or their actions but as if the author captured Chris Carter and Frank Spotnitz and all of the writers and actors' vision and-- for lack of a better word-- essence and put it all masterfully on paper. The best way I can describe it is it feels like how S9 would have been, should have been.

Part I is Scully's realization that she can't keep William safe (after his near death in S9) and her slow, cautious attempts-- with TLG's help-- to contact Mulder and slip from her job and her life. Her loved ones are all given their turns for farewell (yes, even Bill); Part II is S8-S9 memories and reunion and bliss and rediscovery and duck-and-dodge and the mytharc creeping back in; Part III is hands-on efforts by Mulder and Scully to save innocents and team up with Gibson and his dispassionate alien allies.

There are so, so many passages that are seared into my mind. If you, like me, want to jump right into the action, I recommend reading Part II's chapters 4 through 9-- the leadup to Scully and William's arrival in a small town, their tense execution of plans, and their reunion with Mulder in motel room 42. The entire series builds to that moment; and continues after, organically placing brick after brick after brick. If you are daunted by long-term commitment, it will, at least, serve as quick taste to either ignite or quench your interest.

And Now, For Quotes

I couldn't possibly select one quote as my favorite (not yet, anyway); and the passages below sadly leave out TLG and Skinner and Doggett and Monica and Maggie and Tara and Bill and excellent minor characters and so, so much more; BUT I can't leave these paragraphs behind, either.

She had once, more than once, had the experience of having to tell a false partner from the real one.  She was one out of two on that scoreboard.  /Have to get it right this time.  If…/

Every sense had to remain engaged, in this moment.  Every single detail…

A waft of warmer air... and it smelled of Mulder....  The barrel of a gun came first, poking shyly through, questing.  Her internal timer counted off the seconds before she would see the arms, and then the head…  There were the arms, familiar arms… then the hair she knew, then the face, the eyes…

Mulder’s eyes; legible to her as they would be to no one else on this Earth.  He could be a shapeshifter.  He could be being used… but she didn’t think so.  Not when he looked at her like that.  Not when she could see the thing in him that matched the thing inside herself.

and--

That Mulder had accepted this solace from her, as he had from no other being, had contributed almost immediately to bringing forth that strange intimacy that they had always had between them; first jocular, almost sibling-like, as he responded to her gentle teasing with startlement and a growing relaxation.  This man who was so used to being abused by others with cruel taunting had been taken aback by her easy reaction to him.  But by doing so, she had aided him in lowering his walls, and so now she would never be fooled by his many self-saving wisecracks.  Neither was she fooled by the protection he had put off at first; his little show of, “Don’t mind me, I’m a harmless crackpot.”  That image, which he had often put off to their superiors and detractors, was countered once you met him in person.  Intelligent; yes.  Without a doubt.  Driven; yes.  Almost wholly so.  Foolish?  Never in a hundred years; though he may have looked that way to others, may have even fostered that impression to aid him in his work.

and--

Mulder tensed, shoulders hunching as he felt her abortive movement.  He shook his head angrily against the memories, but when he spoke his voice was quiet with acceptance… and so plumbed with loss that she felt her own heart break.  “I needed you so badly, Scully,” he finished softly; as if the admission cost him dearly.  “But you weren’t there.  I had pushed you away; and the nightmares kept coming and coming…” 

Unable to stand it anymore, Scully drew close and pressed her body lightly, tentatively to his tense and unyielding backside.  Felt his clammy skin warm automatically with that contact.  He did not soften, at first.  Did not edge away, nor did he lean into her.  Much like that awful night when their office had burnt he simply stood cold with shock and while she supported him; the steadfast fidelity of their bond never questioned in the decade that they had been together.

“I was there,” she murmured into his shoulder.  /I’ll always be here./  He could accept it now.  She was finally able to press her arms about him in the night.  Feel the strong bones beneath unblemished flesh; amazed that he was even alive for her to hold after an ordeal that had indeed taken him from her for so long that she had lost all hope.  She shuddered and cinched her arms tighter; felt his ribs shift beneath the silky envelope of his skin.  They creaked in protest, but he did not move, and she spoke like one driven.  “I was there hurting for you, holding you against the nightmares, even when you couldn't ask me to be there.  I was with you every night until you came back to me.” 

Magnificent.

Thank you for reading~

Enjoy!

#txf #Collector's Edition #Curated #fic #touchstona #Amor Fati #AU #S9 #I adore this series #it is my S9 #(that and Lapsed_Scholar's S9 AU) #specifically: this is my mytharc S9 #xf fanfic #xfiles #x-files #the x files

[samgirl98]

Cain and Abel Wept 4/?

Prev | Next

Not gonna lie, I'm not too proud of this chapter, but I needed a way to transition. I will say, the repealing of the Anti-ecto laws is going to be more background. I want to mostly focus on the emotional and angst/comfort. So, while the rest of the fic is gonna have the Justice League trying to destroy the GIW, I'm also going to mostly focus on the families getting to know each other. Don't except a quick fix between Damian and Danny. I will say, Jason and Danny being besties is one of my fave tropes so that's gonna happen here

Jason would be the first one to admit he came back wrong.

(As if coming back from the dead was ever right.)

He was more violent, easier to anger, and he swore that sometimes he felt invisible eyes on him even if he couldn’t truly see anything.

(They looked like afterimages, smoke in the wind as it disappeared.)

Jason knew deep down that Danny wasn’t lying.

Lazarus green eyes stared at them; the room chilled enough that, had he not been wearing the helmet, Jason would be able to see his breath. The lights flickered, and he swore Danny’s shadow turned into something monstrous for half a second.

Something deep in Jason’s chest called out to whatever Danny was signaling. Danny looked at Jason with knowing eyes.

“You and I are similar, revenant.”

Every other member of Jason’s family fell to their knees or covered their ears in pain. The Fenton’s had different reactions.

While the two parents flinched, the daughter’s, Jasmine, eyes glowed. She didn’t seem perturbed by the sounds her brother was making. Sounds whose meanings Jason couldn’t understand with his ears but from somewhere deep in his chest.

“Only the dead can understand this language. Or those like us, those who have died and come back. That’s why you can understand me, revenant.”

Jason was never gladder for his helmet than he was now, “he’s telling the truth. He’s dead, or at least he’s like me.”

Batman frowned.

“Akhi, did you die when I—when…?”

Danny shook his head, “No, it was close, but no. Mother always had someone following us, it seemed. He bandaged me up and then called mother. She faked my death and said I could never return to the League as I would be sentenced to death as a traitor.”

Damian took a deep, rattling breath. Jason had never seen the kid cry so much as he had today.

“No, I died in an accident. Only it didn’t kill me the whole way. I’m Schrodinger’s boy. Half dead, half alive. Half human,” a bright light suddenly blinded them, “half ghost.”

“How,” Bruce asked (not Batman, Bruce), “how did you die?”

Impossibly the room got colder. Frost started appearing on the windows, and Jason felt like a predator had targeted him.

“Never ask a ghost how they died,” Danny said in a deadly tone.

Both Fenton parents stepped in front of Danny on the defensive.

“It’s rude to ask how a ghost died,” the mother answered.

“It’s traumatic and can cause a ghost emotional damage. Please refrain from asking that; if Danny brings it up later, that’s up to him,” the father said in a low voice.

The older sister put her arms around her trembling younger brother.

Jason couldn’t help but feel like shit. Jason wanted to go up to the boy and protect him from Bruce, from anyone who would harm him physically or emotionally. Jason felt the familiar twinge of green forming around his vision.

They threaten your King; eliminate them!

“Peace, revenant. Thank you for wanting to defend me, but there’s no danger here yet.”

Jason calmed at the kid’s words (sounds?). He saw his family (minus Bruce and Damian) looking at Jason with worry in their gazes.

He shook his head at Dick’s silent question. Jason didn’t know what had come over him. Jason looked at Danny; he only knew the kid was important to him (to the dead).

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to offend,” Bruce said, “But why would you think we were going to arrest you?”

Maddie and Jack reluctantly let Danny go in front of them. They kept a hand on each of Danny’s shoulders, and both elder Fenton had the other hand hovering over their suits, no doubt to weapons only they knew about.

“You’re part of the Justice League, aren’t you? Hell, not just a part of it, a founder. And the Justice League upholds the law no matter what,” Danny said bitterly, “My very existence is against the United States of America laws. I’m an ecto-entity. Under the Anti-Ecto Acts, I’m neither sentient nor sapient, which means I have no rights. I can be captured and experimented on without prejudice.”

Danny looked straight at Jason, and Jason felt a chill over him (someone walking over my grave), “So can you, by the way. You’re lucky they haven’t found you. It could be because you’re in Gotham, but,” Danny shrugged.

 “We would never do that,” Damian yelled out, his arm waved in a single cutting motion to punctuate his point, “Justice doesn’t always mean abiding by the law. Father was a vigilante before there were laws protecting what he did! Why would you think we would turn you over to be experimented on?”

Danny looked at Damian with sad eyes, “I never thought my younger brother would stab me, yet, that came to be, didn’t it, Dami?”

Damian looked as if someone had stabbed him in the chest.

Jasmine got in front of Danny, “It’s like Danny said earlier: what else were we to think when we saw all of you, who are affiliated with the Justice League, coming after us like you would you’re, what are they called, rogue gallery?”

“I apologize for that,” Bruce said remorsefully, “I saw you were leaving. I had just found out another son had been hidden from me,” Bruce’s voice broke. “I didn’t think; I reacted. We reacted. I didn’t want to risk losing you again. Not when I just found out about your existence.”

Bruce stepped forward; the small family in front of them stepped back. Bruce stilled completely.

“Listen, we all fucked up, not just B,” Dick said, trying to do damage control, “We aren’t going to turn you in to any government branch; you aren’t criminals. We—we just wanted to get to know our newest family member.”

Danny looked straight at Dick, “The Fentons are my family.”

Dick smiled, “You can have more than one family. Besides, the more, the merrier! You don’t have to be buddy-buddy with us right away. But we do want to help. How about we start with these Anti-Ecto Act laws.”

Dick sat down, his body language open, his smile a bit feral, “So tell us. What exactly are they?”

____

Against his parents’ better judgment, Danny decided to trust his bio family, at least with the help of the repeal of the Anti-Ecto Act laws.

As soon as Bruce and the rest of the Batfamily (?) found out about the laws, they set up an emergency meeting with the Justice League to repeal them.

Danny didn’t trust them enough to stay in the same city as them, let alone the same living area.

“Akhi, please, we can protect you in Gotham. We can help you and,” Damian swallowed nervously, “and I missed you,” he confessed.

Danny wanted to tell Damian, ‘no, you don’t get to play that card. You had your chance, and you blew it. You almost killed me…You betrayed me.’

Looking at his brother’s red-rimmed eyes and semi-hopeful stare, Danny couldn’t.

Damian had been a kid.

So was I; it’s not fair!

Danny turned to his small family, “It’s up to you, sport. We’ll do whatever you want.”

“Little brother, it’s about being together and being safe. Whatever you want.”

What did Danny want?

Once upon a time, he wanted to be a normal child. He wanted to play with his little brother without fear. Danny wanted not to have to kill.

Now, he just wanted to survive.

Europe would’ve been the best option. Staying in the US was suicide. Danny knew the GIW wouldn’t go silently even if the Justice League started repealing. He also knew that the best way to make the laws disappear was if he helped Batman and the Justice League however he could.

You can do that from Europe.

Danny bit his lip. He wanted to be safe; he wanted to be selfish.

“We’ll stay in Gotham, but I refuse to go to your place.”

“That’s fine,” Damian quickly assured him, “right, father?”

Batman nodded, “Yes, I have a penthouse in the city you can stay. You can stay in this safehouse if you’d like. I’d have to stock it up. We could even find a way to set you up in school.”

“No!” All the Fentons yelled.

The other family was surprised at the vehement denial.

“We’re sorry,” Maddie apologized, “A government organization is hunting Danny. If we try to enroll him, they’ll find him quickly. It’s best if we lay low.”

“Yes, of course, we will deal with that, I promise.”

Batman turned to Danny, “If there’s anything you need, anything at all,” he took out a card and a cell phone, “call me.”

Danny nodded.

“I think we should stay here,” his mom said, “since we’re staying in Gotham, I’d rather be a bit far away from the city, if possible.”

“Of course. If you want, we can talk while the children get to know each other.”

Danny looked at the merry band of furries; sure, children.

Except for Red Robin and Damian, everyone else seemed to be an adult.

Danny’s eyes went back to the revenant. He really should talk to the guy one on one. Let him know what’s going on and maybe cure that disgusting contaminated ectoplasm.

Danny’s parents’ left with Batman, but Jazz stayed behind with Danny.

Nightwing smiled from where he sat, and Damian fidgeted. The rest of them didn’t seem to know what to do with themselves.

Let the awkwardness begin.

@spectralstardustandphantomnights @avelnfear @idfk-man10 @blackroserelina @candeartist422 @luer-mirin @mur-ururu @insufferablecrab @skulld3mort-1fan @meira-3919 @aethernorwood @mimilikey @marshmelloe @latheevening226 @ahyesanerd @lexdamo @chrysanthemum9484

#dc x dp fill #dc x dp #cain and abel wept

[9w1ft]

Good morning fellow tinhat!

I am curious why you included Getaway Car and joe and Taylor being Bonnie and Clyde. Isn’t the idea that Tom and Taylor were Bonnie and Clyde and Taylor left him behind in the getaway car?

now now, yes i believe that this was the common interpretation of getaway car at the time, especially among swifties, but i think this gets back to my point about how she talks about crimes in plenty of songs throughout her career but people cherry pick what songs apply to which people and if the crimes are sexy or unforgivable.

also i think in recent years, as the metaphor persists and her time with joe also persists, it’s reasonable to reconsider getaway car as a part of one long, 2190 day blackout-encompassing love story. and since i approach kaylor as something that has in fact endured a 2190 day love blackout, i do the math from there and try to think of ways that the metaphor might apply.

i sort of get this sense that for taylor, especially in her early-mid 20s with the rapid succession of beards and the rapid rise of her career, she became so clever with it that it may have even been fun or at least something thrilling. she knew places to hide. there was a cat and mouse aspect to it. not just for her and her lover but for her with her fans. and she couldn’t lose.

and when she met karlie you get the sense that she met her match. in songs like cowboy like me or mastermind you see how something felt different about this fellow outlaw. and i think about you are in love when you can see she has the realization about true love “you understand now why they lost their minds and fought the wars” and for me, i feel a shift in their story where it becomes less and less about heisty criminality and more and more about locking it down and battling for something greater. something that songs like ivy or the great war talk about.

the transition is more of a gradation than the flip of a switch, i think. the mojo is absolutely there in songs like ready for it. she made the best plans of her life. but i can kind of see getaway car or illicit affairs or maybe high infidelity, for example, as songs about this transition. when all of a sudden the criminal buddy ride or die thing they had going on fell apart. not that they broke up, but that the amusement park facades darkened and it was no longer something to simply fascinate over. they had to shift gears and say goodbye to those years of hijinks and go dark and plan for their future, instead of reveling only in the present.

now that we are a year or so out from that persnickety bonus track (with a song lyric which i still think can easily be about kim kardashian) i also feel comfortable considering how that one line could fit in to a part of this story, of taylor saying it’s time to go to the fun and games worldview she had on bearding, and reprioritizing her time on her family. that she’s setting off… but not without her muse. because taylor has always been a crook and so has karlie, but it turned out that loving karlie was going to be loving someone who was caught in certain circumstances. someone who, in choosing to be with for the long haul, meant they couldn’t simply galavant the same way anymore.

this all returns to something i think i’ve said in the past, that we are just in a very different environment and stage for them than back in like, 1989 tour era. and i find it a little unreasonable to assume the same values or priorities of taylor then as she might have now. i mean good lord, one would think she has a lot more to protect now, you know? she’s not giving a cop out explanation for lavender haze to protect a relationship with joe, you know?? i think there are various ways to view all of this.. on one side of the spectrum her swings to privacy and caution might be viewed as a waste of an opportunity to contribute to societal progress, and maybe on the other side of the spectrum these might be looked to as ultimate acts of unconditional love.. people can asses as they please but i think it’s important to have a correct read of the gravity at play in deciding if it’s something to dedicate time to following.

anyway.. 🙈

[asvterias]

hello honey how about writing a yandere caroline forbes where she and the reader were friends when they were human and caroline was secretly in love with her and used to push boys away from her out of jealousy, but when she became a vampire her tendencies only increased

𝖬𝖾𝖺𝗇𝗍 𝖳𝗈 𝖡𝖾 ~ 𝖢𝖺𝗋𝗈𝗅𝗂𝗇𝖾 𝖥𝗈𝗋𝖻𝖾𝗌

Warnings: Yandere Themes, Yandere Behavior, Obsession, Blood and Gore, Character Death & Torture Mechanisms

Pairings: Yandere!Caroline Forbes x Fem!Bestfriend!Reader

Summary: Caroline Forbes was madly in love with [name] that everyone else around her sensed it even though the blonde put up a protective best friends’ facade for the [Last Name] girl. Now having heightened emotions only troubled [name] for the worst when that love coverts into an unhealthy obsession.

Word Count: 2,043

Tag List: @stqrfish @yurdreamgirlfriend @carolslittleslut

*gif is not mine*

“You wouldn't date him, right?” Those words echoed in your mind every time that you would see Caroline's eyes boring into yours. Perhaps, it was jealousy that Caroline felt overcoming her.

Maybe it was protectiveness or mainly because you were just human who were constantly being surrounded by supernaturals.

Even when she was human, she had a soft spot only for you. So ever since, Katherine killed her in the hospital, you hadn't left her visual perception. She somehow managed to gain her blood urges around you when she was starting.

Caroline didn't come to realize that the Pierce woman had helped her in a way— now that she's more stronger and faster than she was capable of before.

With new found abilities from transitioning to a vampire, she was more clingy than usual but you paid no attention to it.

That was until, Damon always started flirting with you, obviously trying to make Elena jealous. Now, Caroline can be a real bitch when she wants to and the blonde definitely tears those useless boys apart when necessary.

Currently, one of those ignorant boys happened to be Damon Salvatore at the very moment, who spent every opportunity to talk to you with either a snarky comment or witty reply.

According to the blonde, Damon was like a pimple that you couldn't just get rid of, no matter how hard you try.

Caroline didn't see it that way so a a random school night after she dropped you off, she stormed into the Salvatore house and knocked him out with vervain.

The next thing that Damon sensed was that he was harshly woken by the sound of his skin sizzling by a vampire's weakness — vervain which made him cry out in pain. Despite feeling basically burned alive, he managed to spot his ring on the floor a mere few feet away from him.

He was about to reach for it but something held him back from doing so.

Growling in annoyance as the vampire looked down at his restraints. He tried to break free from them but he only received the shackling of the chains and hissed every time he did so. Even though he was getting burned by vervain with every little movement , Damon was persistent on being set free.

“Don't.” A voice rang out from the darkness which caused the raven haired man to stop, “They're covered with vervain so you'll just weaken yourself.”

The Salvatore boy wrinkled his eyes in confusion and he lets out a pained cough, “Wait a minute, I recognize that voice. Caroline, is that you?!”

The blonde ignored the vampire's outburst and erupted from the darkness saying, “Congratulations, do you want a cupcake?” She rolled her eyes before speeding toward him, gripping tightly onto his neck, “She's mine. [Name] is mine so don’t think for one second that she’ll ever get with you.”

“Chill blondie, you're crazy besides I was just using her to make Elena jealous.” Damon remarked back, somehow managing to make sentences.

This brought fury in Caroline's eyes. How could he just use you like that?

Grabbing the back of his head hearing him groan in pain, “She is not some toy for you to use and than place her back on the shelf when she is needed again. She needs someone who can appreciate her, worships the ground that she walks on, she needs me.”

“Why do you care about her so much?” He let out a breath of relief when she lets go of his hair, painfully.

“That's really none of your business,” Caroline seethed, walking in front of him. “[Name] will never find better. She has me and not even you can stop that.” The blonde continues before grabbing his face tightly, “Now you're gonna stay in here and rot.”

“You can't do that!” Damon exclaims, “Stefan will come looking for me.”

Using her vampire speed, she was at the exit door in a instant, “And if he comes in my way, I'll kill him too.” She declares before closing the large metal door, ignoring Damon's pleas as she smirked to herself before speeding away.

Suddenly her phone binged and your name contact showed up on her phone. The blonde smiled brightly at the phone and answered your text before speeding off into the night.

“Hey, I got the text what’s going on?” Caroline had put up a fake facade, only for you. The blonde knew beforehand what this meeting was about but acted clueless about Damon's current situation.

This was becoming a daily routine for Caroline. Torture damon and leave him to fend for himself and not without tending to you first, making sure that you hadn't found someone. Sometimes if Caroline was feeling generous, she'd give him some blood.

“Damon's been missing.” Elena announced, biting her nails anxiously, “It's been a week.”

“Don't worry, we'll find him.” Caroline sat beside you, taking her hands in yours which you immediately accepted. Taking a breath of relief and she gripped it tighter.

“I'll do a locator spell.” Bonnie announces. You frown at this. Of course you wanted to find Damon but Bonnie was mentally and physically tired. Besides, she was dealing with alot on her plate at the moment.

“No, you can do it another day.” You started, “You need rest and I mean a lot of rest.”

The bennett witch was about to complain but you cut her off, “You've been overworking yourself and it's not good for you. As your bestie, I command you to get a good weeks rest.”

“[Name], I love you but I'm fine.” She shrugged you off, “The sooner I get the spell done, the sooner everyone's happy.”

“Well quite frankly I don't care what everyone else wants, bon. You're getting a week's rest and I'll be there to tend for you. End of discussion.”

Despite being a human, you had argued with the witch until she reluctantly gave into your statements. When you and the bennett witch were out of sight, Caroline stated that she's gonna go home. Leaving the two vampires there with no say in the matter and she sped off into the night.

Looks like she was gonna have to take a detour.

Once Caroline made her presence known back at the cellar where she held Damon captive. The oldest Salvatore brother noticed the girl and he began speaking, “Great you're back, now let me go!”

“Hmmm...I don't think so,” Caroline says as she struts towards the boy, “Let's do things my way, per usual. Well it’s not like you have a say in the matter .”

“Fine, whatever.”

“I already have new problems that involve you, luckily my sweetheart came through and postponed it.” The blonde shrugs, “Now, my first question. Can a vampire grow a heart back?” She pretends to think with a finger on her cheek.

“What kind of—“ Damon choked on his words as Caroline's hand budges itself into his rib cage, gripping onto his heart. “Caroline, now wait, let's talk th—“

The Forbes girl ignored the pleading vampire and with one swift pull, her bloodied hand held the Salvatore's heart. His body thudded to the dirty ground soon after.

The vampire's eyes, now lifeless still remained open could tell the tiny details before his useless death.

“Guess that solves my question.” She answered, looking at the dead heart in her hand before throwing it on the ground. Now Caroline was on her way to your house, hopefully she won't do anything that she'll regret.

Her plan involving you was pretty simple. Get you hyped up and then she'll drug you and keep you all to herself. Luckily, since the newbie vampire loves you so much, she didn't take you to the dark eery cellars that she held Damon captive in.

Instead, she had you trapped in the comfort of the Salvatore cellar. Obviously she made it a bit more roomy for you.

For the first time in her life, she was nervous. Caroline Forbes was never nervous, she was confident but only one can take away that confidence and it was you— her weakness. Anxiety bubbles up in her stomach as she waits patiently for you to wake up from your slumber.

“[Name], come on please at least eat. I'm sorry.” Caroline pleaded. Your heart broke at this. You've never seen the blonde so desperate in her life.

“How do I know that you won't hurt me?” You asked, fear evident in your tone.

“I will never hurt you, I love you.”

“I'll eat your food on one condition.” Caroline stood up at this, intrigued by what you have to say. “Was Damon telling the truth?”

She froze, “W-what did he tell you?”

“He told me that you were in love with me.”

“Maybe, he was right.” Caroline held onto the tiny bars, “I love you and I'll kill anyone who comes in our way. Just look at what happened to poor old Damon.” She caressed your face, frowning when you flinch back slightly so she drops her hand in hopes to not scare you even more.

“You're crazy Caroline.” You shook your head, leaning your forehead against the railings.

“Only crazy for you, baby.” She calmly stated, running her hands through your hair. Somehow, you felt yourself warming into her touch. Maybe you were going insane to even seek comfort in her words.

What was the word again? Stockholm Syndrome is what you're experiencing now. It's not like you praise Caroline for killing Damon but he was leading you on so karma came for his ass.

“Caroline...this is wrong.” You breathed out, shifting your face towards hers.

“Then why does it feel so right?” The blonde questioned. Within the stillness between the two of you, your lips found hers in a soft manner. The kiss felt so real to you and the lip-locking remained passionate until she bit lowly on your bottom lip. When air became a necessity for you both, you pulled away from the kiss.

Unexpectedly, her hand reached your neck and with one swift snap, barely flinching at the loud sound. The last thing that you heard was her voice, “It will be just you and me, together forever.”

Your body fell limp to the floor and all the blonde could picture right now was your betrayed expressions at her actions.

She had to do it for the sake of herself and you. Caroline wasn't thinking with her head but instead with her heart. Her heart demanded that you would be with her forever so that she could keep you safe. Seems like her heart did overcome her head in the end.

The Forbes girl waited for a few minutes before unlocking the cell door and picking up your body.

“I did it to keep us safe.” Caroline started, “I did it to make sure that we stay together.”

“You turned me into a vampire against my own will,” You cried, watching the regret overcome her eyes. “You'd think that I'd be happy with this.”

“Gosh, [name] why won't you just accept the fact that we're meant to be together.”

Shaking your head in disbelief, can't believing what you're hearing from your bestfriend. “I don't know who you are anymore Caroline.”

“Stop denying us, [name].” The blonde deadpanned and she sped off, probably to get you a blood bag. “We are meant to be whether you love or hate it.”

Her words echoed in your head as you sank on the ground beneath you. You had no chance of escaping, no chance to enjoy your life in the way you wanted. You were like a drug and Caroline was your addict and now you know that the blonde has no intentions of giving you up.

© asvterias, 2022. please do not plagiarize any of my works.

#꒰ 𝗒𝖺𝗇𝖽𝖾𝗋𝖾 ���𝗂𝖼𝗌/𝗁𝖾𝖺𝖽𝖼𝖺𝗇𝗇𝗈𝗇𝗌 📌 ꒱ #tvd yandere #tvd oneshot #tvd yandere oneshot #caroline forbes #caroline forbes x fem!reader #yandere!caroline forbes